#(AND YOU KNOW WHERE MY STATE OF MIND IS Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[one-piece-aus]

Unbottle Your Emotions

Eustass Kid x Reader (Part 5)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

Taglist: @lingxio @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @tremendoushorsepatrolgoth @lil-skelly-bones (ask or comment if you want to be added)

Ahoy! Part 5 is here! I took inspiration from ask-bolthead-crew for the crew's names (aside from Killer, Heat, and Wire). You should check their blog out because the art style is metal(/pos). Also shout out to the people who voted in Killer poll, it was helpful :3

Without further ado, enjoy the story ^-^

Okay, calm down. You'll be fine. Hawkins said the cards said you'll be fine so you'll be fine, right? You just need to stand here, where Kid told you to meet him at lunch. Is this the right one? Well, he did say to be by the glass-stained window by the south entrance, and you're staring at a glass-stained window as you lean next to the doors.

...

Surely it's been a few minutes, and it'd be understandable if you left, right? You did wait and he hasn't shown up so-

"Is that her?"

'Oh great, they're here.' You internally groaned.

You glance over to see Kid and his gang approaching, internally thanking there's a security camera monitoring the hallway. Bouncing off the wall, you wave.

"Hey."

"And I thought you would've been late." Kid smirked at you.

You roll your eyes. "I was only late to class this one day."

Truthfully, you had shown up late to English class (when Makino started attendance) because you didn't want to go knowing Kid's your work partner. You only showed up because you feared what Kid would do if you didn't. You've been early to class otherwise.

"Enough chit-chat, let's go. I'm hungry." A guy with sunglasses and a tall mohawk took the lead, and you all followed outside.

You felt assured that they were heading in the same direction you went yesterday, when you had lunch with Hawkins and Apoo, at least you'd know your way back in case you needed to run. Still, you were dragging your feet, lagging at the back of the group. The blond with long hair took notice, slowing his pace to walk next to you.

"Kid forgot introductions, didn't he?" He guessed.

You nodded, pushing away the urge to question why he wore a face mask. "Yeah, uh I'm [L/n] [Y/n]."

"I go by Killer."

You try to keep a straight face. That doesn't stop the thousand questions erupting in your brain. Main one being: Is that part of the teenage edge phase or has he genuinely killed people?

Killer begins pointing out the others to you, starting with sunglasses. "That's Haikei, Oscar, Noe, Wire, and-"

"Heat?"

"You already know him?" Killer raised an inquiring brow.

"Yeah, he uh- he was in one of my classes last year. He probably wouldn't remember though."

Normally would've forgotten your classmate's name, but the few times Kid came to your classroom after the lunch bell rang because Heat was there, not only made you aware of who the loud redhead was, but you also took note to avoid him in order to not encounter Kid.

"I see," Killer said. A moment of silence passed, well at least between the two of you, Kid and Haikei were loudly arguing about something in front of the pack, before Killer spoke to you again. "So you're Kid's partner in English?"

"Yup." A nonchalant answer.

"You must be smart."

"What makes you say that?"

"Kid normally complains about group projects. He hasn't said a word about you."

You're taken aback. Letting Killer's words sink in, your mind does its best to keep the shock invisible. Does that mean Kid enjoys working with you? No. It means he tolerates you, that's the reasonable conclusion. He's only interacting with you because you have a project, as you are with him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Find us a booth." Kid grinned as he walked up to the counter.

You were about to follow when the guy with the beanie called you, Noe you think it was. "Woah, where ya headin' off to, dollface? Kid's already ordering for us."

"I'm gonna make my order," you simply stated.

Last time someone ordered for you, you got a salad. You were pissed to say the least.

Killer face palmed. "Kid didn't tell you, did he [L/n]?"

"Tell me what?"

"The whole point of Kid inviting you was to help us finish this challenge," Haikei said.

"What challenge?" You didn't have to wait for your answer when Kid approached your table with a giant platter full of chicken wings.

"Alright boys, you know the drill!" Kid set down the platter and took his seat. He glanced at you, looking at you with a gaze that questioned why you were standing. Rolling your eyes, you sit down across from him.

A waiter came by a set a timer down. "600 chicken wing challenge, finish in one hour or less and your meal is free. Your time begins now." He hit the clock and the others dived in.

You blinked a few seconds, confused as hell. 'An hour? We didn't have an hour, lunch is only 45 minutes, and we'd have to leave in 30 minutes if we didn't want to be late for class. Are they stupid or do they not care?' You glanced at Kid, a frown present on your face. Though one of them spoke up before you got a word in.

"Whatcha waiting for? Dig in," Noe told you, his mouth full. 

"The three who eat the least gotta pay the bill," Heat informed beside you. "But I'm sure you won't have to since it's your first go."

"We only have half the time the restaurant gave us, shut your yaps and get to eating!" Kid ordered putting four chicken wings in his mouth.

"Guess we have to, princess over here must not like chicken," Haikei remarked.

Oh hell naw. You got up and walked to the counter. Kid briefly glanced at you before looking back at the platter. Maybe he should've let you order something while he got the chicken wings-

"Let's do this!" You slammed a large glass of milk down and took a handful of chicken wings. Kid's gang stared at you wide-eyed and jaws dropped as you began wolfing down food. You glared at them during your milk break. "Come on, I don't wanna be late to class."

Kid snapped out of it and continued eating, as did the rest. Killer took notice of his friend's demeanour shifting. The blond glanced at the rest who were now glancing at you with interest, however, a quick stern shake from Killer made them drop it. Humming, Killer ate another chicken wing under his mask.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Alright, we finally beat that stupid challenge!"

The gang cheered as they exited the restaurant. You simply smiled, satisfied with your lunch. Maybe you'll have that burger tomorrow. You felt someone pat you on the back.

"All thanks to [L/n]! Here here!" Noe exclaimed. "No wonder Kid brought her."

"Kid knew you weren't going to be any help," the one with the short blond mohawk remarked.

"Fuck you, Oscar." Noe flipped him off.

You laughed along with the others, though you felt that irritation from earlier begin eating at your mind again. Did Kid invite you because you were extra help? What would he have done if you didn't help like the others expected? A sour taste sat in your mouth, at least you tuned into the conversation.

"Is she not part of the gang, already?" Heat's the one that asked.

"What?" You blink confused.

"This was [L/n] initiation, wasn't it?" Oscar asked, looking at Kid.

The redhead didn't say anything, making brief eye contact with you. Tossing the sourness out the window, a mixed puzzle settles in your mind instead.

"Hey, Kid just invited me for lunch since I'm working with him in English. I accepted since wasn't working on anything else, though I'll likely be busy studying tomorrow."

Sweet, you corrected the situation and made an excuse so you don't have to go tomorrow. He can't get mad if you're studying, right?

"I'll invite you again when we get the A on our project," Kid said.

"Alright," you say nonchalantly, internally dreading the idea of coming back. You barely survived today. The only reason you didn't struggle to hold yourself together is because you did more than they were expecting so Kid's barks were directed at the others. You can't go through that again now that you've raised his expectations.

"How 'bout we get something else for lunch," Killer suggested. "Since we completed their challenge, I'm sure it'll be a while before they let us take it again."

Well, that was a relief. At least, you know you won't have to deal with that. You half-tune out of the conversation now that they're chatting about other food joints. Slowly the school building came into sight, your eyes passively precepting your surroundings, until you heard an annoying voice. Not just any annoying voice.

Trying to stay cool and invisible, you glance in the direction you heard the voice. Sure enough, it's Helmeppo who is talking to Koby. Shit. You're dead meat if Koby spots you.

You slowed down by some plants and stepped into nature, walking for a few moments before hiding in the green. Silently, you counted up to a minute and stepped out. Glancing around, you sighed, relieved before heading to a different entrance than the south, blending in amongst the crowd.

For a moment, the thought of Kid getting mad because you disappeared without saying anything crossed your mind. A drop of fear swirled in your mind, not knowing how he'd react when you'd see him again. However, when comparing it to the latter, an angry Kid is far less worse, he's only in one class and you know how to hide in the crowded halls. He's easy to escape from, unlike the alternative.

You stand by your choice.

[l33bang24]

OMG It’s You… (Part 4)

YouTube! Fem reader x Stray Kids

Summary: Y/N’s YouTube channel is taking off after her reactions to Stray Kids MV God’s Menu. Now she’s making videos nonstop along with working a full time job. What would happen if she got offered a job of a lifetime and met the boys of her succession?

⚠️Warnings⚠️: the kids misbehaving, Chan and Lee Know being parents, Felix being the golden child (let me know if I missed anything)

🏷️: @laylasbunbunny @weirdowithaphone @silverstarburst @jusanontstuff @anxiousskylar @drewsandsebastianswife @amararosesblog @niaalove (Taglist open)

(A/N: Hi everyone!👋🏻 I hope you enjoy this chapter. I’m hoping to have some more chapters coming up. (As long as I can stay in my creative mode.) Also if you could have your own fandom name, what would it be? 🤔)

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 2.5 Chapter 3 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 6.5 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Felix’s POV

After having the conversation with Lee Know Hyung, I felt ten times better. I knew that I probably overreacted when Seungmin teased me about watching Y/N’s videos. I never realized just how much I needed her videos. She feels like a breath of fresh air and she has this way of pulling you in. Sometimes I wonder if this is how Stays feel about us. (It is.)

I was shocked when Lee Know told me about how much he enjoys her videos as well. I thought he was just saying that to get me to speak up. Though I realized that he wouldn’t lie to me about something like this. When I looked up at him, I could see the sincerity in his eyes.

Once Lee Know left, I made a promise to myself not to talk about her so much. It’s hard because I feel like I need to tell everyone about her. Some might say that I’m her biggest fan, and maybe I am. Since our comeback is just around the corner, everyone has been on edge trying to make sure we have everything done.

When things get tough, I always resort to watching Y/N since it helps me to relax. Seeing someone who has a much simpler life that’s not hectic like mine makes me somewhat jealous. Then I remember that I wanted this life and I knew what I was getting into when I auditioned for it.

I knew that if I ever met her in person that I would be nervous around her. Which seems silly to most people, but in my mind she’s the one person that I could look up to outside of my members. I just hope I won’t make a fool out of myself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N’s POV

I woke up feeling like I got hit by a truck. Muscles feeling stiff and sore. Getting up slowly, I climb out of bed. I had worked the weekend so I didn’t have much time to work on any videos or record anything. Walking into the kitchen, I grab a mug out of the cupboard and head towards the coffee maker.

One thing about coffee is I never feel like I get any energy from it. If anything it makes me more sleepy than awake. After fixing my coffee the way I like it, I walk back to my room and sit down in my chair. I turn on my laptop and monitors.

I had seen where my followers had been asking if I had a PO Box where they could send me mail. At first I ignored it because I didn’t see the need for having one. Though over time messages started pilling up, especially when I do a livestream and that’s all they ask about. I debated whether if it was a good idea or not. Since I knew that there were people who didn’t like me very much, I wasn’t keen on getting hate through the mail. Overall, I decided that I would get one made so that would please my followers.

I decided that I would make a short video about it and post it on YouTube. I stated in the video about how I didn’t want anyone to feel obliged to send me anything, and if they did then I didn’t want anything like personal items. Like merch that they already bought for themselves and sending it to me since I didn’t have it. “I will leave the PO Box address at the bottom of this video. Depending on what I get, I might make a video of me opening the mail that y’all sent. I feel like all of you would like that. And if you want to stay anonymous then you can just put that in the letter or in the package. I’ll repeat myself again, please do not feel pressured about sending me anything. I don’t need anything from y’all. Just knowing how much you all support me is enough for me. I don’t need letters or packages to tell me that, but at the end of the day you have the decision to do whatever you want. I love you all and I hope you have a great day. Bye!” I wave at the camera before ending it.

I had just realized I never changed my clothes. I was still in my pajamas and my long robe. “Oh well. They’ve seen worse.” I shrug editing the address in the video. Taking on last look at the video to see if I like it, I post it to my channel. “I have a feeling that I don’t know what I just signed myself up for.” I thought to myself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Back at the JYP Building)

Group Chat name: Stray Kids (literally)

Group chat: OPERATION SFM (No parents allowed)

[wyndowpane]

What soft love songs the Fellowship dedicate to you (and why) <3

In the mood to make myself cry, plus I’m in my ‘i was i wasn’t lonely’ phase of the night.

Pulled most of these from my notes app lmao, and i listened to each one while writing, I highly recommend giving them a listen!

GN! reader, mostly you/your used :) (Obviously some songs will involve specified gender, please correct as you need, and remember that these characters would absolutely make these changes as well)

GIF by legolasimagines

Frodo Baggins - Hopelessly Devoted to You - Olivia Newton-John (Grease)

He definitely has the distinct memory of the classic slow burn moment of “Oh. Oh.” happening, where he realises just how much he loves you. He knew he was head over heels, and he looks at you like you hung the moon. And if you sing it to him- UGH😩💙. IN LOVE, HE SHALL BE. He probably hums it a lot when doing work or writing. Of course, the lyrics are quite relatable to him. Frodo has this internal belief that the person/people he love/s can’t love him nearly the amount he adores them. He was willing to sit around and wait on you, in the hopes that you would see him in the same way. His brain knew he should just move on, but he couldn’t let go, and he’s glad he didn’t. He’s so devoted to simply loving you.

“Hold on to the end, and that’s what I intend to do. I’m hopelessly devoted to you~”

GIF by frodo-sam

(gotta appreciate that me looking up his name resulted in a bunch of po-tay-toes memes. anyway. back to the hcs)

Samwise Gamgee - Hello, Hello - Elton John ft Lady GaGa (Gnomeo & Juliet)

He’s a sucker for meet-cute stories, and would unironically love this movie, even setting aside this banger of a song. The moment he saw you, he felt captivated by your beauty, whether or not the meeting went well or if you fell on your face. The song is just so cheerful and wholesome. He probably told you that the song reminded him of you, and that sparked the romantic relationship. Every time this sequence plays he’ll just look at you (if/when you watch the movie). PLEASE SING THIS AS A DUET WITH HIM AAAA. (He isn’t Elton John, but his voice is lovely 🥰)

“Hello, hello (Hello, hello), my, my, my, what have we here?”

GIF by tossme

Peregrin Took - I’ll Be - Edwin McCain

Honestly it’s hard to explain this one. It’s just so soft and sweet and really describes how he feels about you. Also as the youngest and a, quoting Gandalf here, “fool of a Took!”, the line “and I’ll be, better when I’m older…” is just- MWAH. This song reminds me of him honestly. He is, as the song states, “your crying shoulder”, the “greatest fan of your life”. Everything about you takes his breath away. We all know he’s the best singer in the fellowship, and its just gorgeous to listen to him sing it, especially because he means every word. He also probably dedicated this to you early on in the relationship, and it was definitely your wedding song (if you got married).

“I’ll be, better when I’m older. I’ll be, the greatest fan of your life~”

GIF by thorinsbeard

(tumblr needs more Merry gifs istg-)

Meriadoc Brandybuck - Nothing - Bruno Major

Honestly you wouldn’t expect such a lowkey song for such a high energy guy, but he’s a sucker for lazy days and sweet moments. He’s, as he likes to say, ‘work-avoidant’, and just wants to spend all his time on you. He also finds the song easy to sing to you, so thats a plus. The lyrics just resonate with him, similar to my picks for Pippin and Frodo. He’s very competitive, but he honestly doesn’t mind losing to you. He pretends like romantic or soft movies don’t make him cry, even if they do. He gets the appeal of going out and drinking and laughing, but just staying at home with you just sounds so much nicer to him. Its all about the little things in life with him, the small moments, the laughs, and every ‘I love you’ that makes him feel lighter than air.

“Dumb conversations, we lose track of time. Have I told you lately? I’m grateful you’re mine~”

GIF by thefandomimagine

Aragorn - Dark Red - Steve Lacy

He knows how dangerous his work and life is, and he’s always had this fear of leaving you behind (hence the ‘something bad is ‘bout to happen to me’). He only sees you in his life, no matter who else is wanting for his attention, he’s so devoted to you. He only hopes that you’ll stay by his side and fight with him, and he’s not willing to give up on you. No, he refuses to give up when you are involved, and he fights so hard to keep you safe and protected. The song also is easy to mumble to you when he’s tired, and it’s soothing for him to listen to. It’s just a symbol of how much you mean in his life, and how he trusts you with his heart.

“Only you, babe, only you darlin’, only you~”

GIF by reactionimages

Legolas - Lover - Taylor Swift

Unabashed Swiftie in general, but this song just hits different. So first off he probably already called you his lover, and when he found the song he thought it was perfect. I can definitely see him learning guitar and playing this song for you as well. Into the actual song analysis, this song frames his want to be close to you, the mysterious way he was drawn to you, the way he felt like time flew by whenever you talked. Also I feel like he’s made jealous relatively easily, and that’s also in the song. His heart has been borrowed before, but he’s glad he’s ended up with you, to hear your jokes, save you seats, and call you his lover. He definitely likes to sing this to you late in the night, and i can see him humming/mumbling it whenever the two of you just stand and hold each other. Its so wholesome, and he loves the way your eyes light up when he sings it with all the love in his heart, all of it for you.

“You’re my, my, my, my… lover~”

GIF by tlotrgifs

Gimli - If You Love Her - Forrest Blakk

Honestly, he’s not a very observant dwarf, but he does pay attention to you. He knows you, and he cares a lot. Protective of you to a fault, but just wants everyone to know that they shouldn’t take you or your heart for granted. He hates to admit it, but he thinks you are precious (I’M SORRy-) and every small thing about you is worth taking note of. And he does, so he knows exactly how to make you happier. He’s your personal hype-man, and truly believes that you are the best thing he has ever had. He uses the song as a guidebook on how to treat you, and while he won’t say it, or sing it, he does play this song for you and leave in a huff, just hoping you’ll know this song is meant to say that he loves you. (He might even dub it over with your preferred pronouns for the big reveal, and it’s quite funny)

“They’ll love you, if you love them like that~”

GIF by myrkvidrs

Boromir - Summer Love - The Workday Release

Boromir really thinks this song demonstrates his feelings towards you, and how he wishes you’d stick around with him. You remind him of the summer, warm, bright and hopeful. It was so simple for him to fall in love (it’s like counting 1,2,3). He’s awestruck by your beauty, and doesn’t find it enough to dream about you, he needs to be holding your hand, feeling your presence. He wants to face the world with you there next to him. You always manage to give him a smile, make sense to him, and be honest. He’s not sure how to articulate everything he feels around you, so he just says that he loves you.

“Surely this is love, this is love, this is summer love~”

WOOOOO IM DONEEEE

Ive been writing for the past 2+ hours and it’s late and I’m tired, but I really hope you enjoy. If you want to request a fic, any fandom will do, I’ll get back to you on it, I promise.

Let me know if you want me to do a Part 2 with some other characters <3 Have a great day!!

[penncilkid]

"Stop it."

"Stop what?" Milo asked, chuckling.

"Looking at me like that!"

"Like you're the only person in the whole world?"

PLUTO WHAT IF THIS WAS MY LAST STRAW? </3 /POS

Been in a weird writing funk for a few months now so I thought I'd try to write something small for y'all here. Of course, it is Milo/Sweetheart. Of course it is a comfort fic. This seems to be the theme when I am not in the best of spirits. Anyway, writing below the cut!!

"Sweets! I'm home!" Milo called as soon as he was in the door. The house was dark, something he noticed when he pulled into their driveway. The text that Milo sent to Sweetheart saying he was on his way home went ignored, which was unusual. The house was quiet too, which was also unusual.

Well, almost quiet, as the meows of Aggro started coming through the house as the cat made his way to Milo. Aggro found him as he was just putting his keys and wallet down, rubbing up against his legs and meowing up at him. He seemed a bit stressed more than usual, which worried him.

"Hi buddy," Milo said, a small smile on his face, bending down to pet him. "Where's Sweetheart?"

The cat blinked up at him for a second before taking off down the hallway. Milo followed without hesitation, worry creasing his brows. He knew that nothing bad had happened, but he still couldn't help but worry. They had bailed on the plans with the pack tonight because something came up at work again. They had been going nonstop for weeks at this point, early mornings leading to late evenings. It wasn't good for them, Milo could say that much. The tension that they carried in their body the last little bit was not fun to watch, or the growing dark circles under their eyes. Milo wished he could stop time every time he heard Sweetheart's alarm go off and they begrudgingly dragged themselves out of bed. Just to give them a few more moments of rest that he knew they deserved.

When Milo got to the bedroom, Aggro was staring at the closed door in front of him. Odd. Normally Sweetheart would leave it open enough for Aggro to come and go freely.

"Is this what had you so worried?" Milo asked him, to which he got a meow in response. Milo knocked gently on the door, ear pressed close to hear if they were in there. He didn't hear anything. A frown edged his lips. "Sweetheart? You in here?"

When he didn't get a response, he opened the door and stepped inside, eyes adjusting to the dark fast and spotting a figure curled up in the bed. Aggro bolted under his feet and was on the bed in a split second. The figure on the bed stirred a bit as Aggro sniffed around before settling beside them.

As Milo turned on the bedside lamp, he realized that Sweetheart had fallen asleep still in their work clothes. He sighed, glad that they were okay and unharmed. He brushed some hair out of their face, hand trailing down their cheek afterwards. Sweetheart stirred a bit more, eyes blinking open at the touch.

"Well hello there," Milo said, a small giggle breaking out from under his breath. He still was rubbing gentle circles into their cheek.

"What time..." Sweetheart slurred, reaching for their phone that was haphazardly placed beside them. If Milo had to guess, they were likely on it before falling asleep, and it dropped when they were finally out. It wouldn't be the first time.

"Just after ten," Milo answered them when they frowned at their now dead phone. "Just got home."

"Sorry," Sweetheart muttered, rubbing their eyes.

"Don't apologize," Milo said, fondness dripping from his words. "But, I tell you what. Why don't you finally get out of these clothes and put on some pyjamas? It might be a bit more comfortable."

Sweetheart nodded, sitting up with the guidance of Milo's hands, a yawn spiling from their lips.

"Stay here," Milo whispered to them, crossing the room to the dresser, rooting around for a pair of pyjamas.

"You don't have to--" Sweetheart started.

"I want to, though," Milo cut them off, already walking back. "I'm still wondering how you were able to fall asleep like this," he said jokingly, placing the pyjamas beside them and plucking off their glasses.

"Was tired after work, and it was, like, 7 PM by the time I got home. I had already eaten so I was just gonna lay down for a little bit. Looks like I ended up falling asleep," Sweetheart explained.

"It must have been a long day," Milo commented, reaching for their wrist so that he could take off their watch. He kissed along their knuckles when he was done, and he just caught the small smile that graced their lips at the motion.

"Something like that," Sweetheart sighed.

He turned to place the items on the bedside table as Sweetheart started to change. When that was done, he reached for their phone to plug it in, already setting the alarms that they set every night in the process. It was quiet in the room, but Milo didn't mind that. As long as he could feel Sweetheart's aura pulsing from them in time with their core, that was all he needed. Not to mention Sweetheart was still half asleep, there probably wasn't anything that they wanted to talk about.

"Are you hungry?" Milo asked after he finished his tasks, pressing a kiss into Sweetheart's shoulder. "When was the last time you ate?"

"At six," Sweetheart said. "Supper was bought for us when we had to stay behind. It was very nice actually. Though..."

"You want a small snack don't you?" Milo teased, already moving back toward the kitchen. "The usual?"

"Please," Sweetheart said. There was a pause before Milo heard their feet come padding behind him. "I love you," They added from behind him.

"I love you too," Milo said, hand instinctively reaching behind him. Sweetheart's fingers intertwined with them in a heartbeat, making Milo's chest fill with warmth. "Some would even say I love you more."

"Impossible," Sweetheart said, chuckling.

In the kitchen, Sweetheart didn't break away from him until he handed them their smoothie drink from the fridge. Milo grabbed the last of the strawberries from the fridge, and grabbed a bowl and a knife, before settling beside where they sat on the counter.

"How was the party?" Sweetheart asked. "Did you have fun?"

"Not as much fun as I would've if you were there," Milo said sincerely. He loves his pack, of course he does, but he also loves showing off for Sweetheart who loves his antics. Secretly.

"Oh, stop," Sweetheart said, but even when they took a sip of their drink they weren't able to hide their smile.

"And the pack missed you," Milo added. "Got asked where you were at least every few minutes for the first, like, half hour."

"They missed me that much?"

"You've barely been around for three weeks at this point, Sweets, of course they have," Milo said. "They love you."

Sweetheart didn't answer, but Milo could sense that they were glowing without even looking at them. When he did glance at them, he was caught by their beauty again. Even like this, with their hair a mess, cheeks red with sleep, and the last remaining lines fading from their skin. God, was he ever lucky to have them.

When Sweetheart realized what he was doing, they groaned, pushing his face away from them. "Stop it."

"Stop what?" Milo asked, chuckling.

"Looking at me like that!"

"Like you're the only person in the whole world?" Milo asked.

Sweetheart didn't answer, just grumbled something, much to Milo's amusement. "Just focus on the strawberries before you cut your finger off."

"Please," Milo said, "I could do this in my sleep."

"I'm not rushing you to the hospitable if you hurt yourself," Sweetheart said.

"Sure," Milo said. "The love of my life, my mate, wouldn't bat an eye if I accidentally cut myself."

"I wouldn't," Sweetheart said.

"Which is totally reasonable," Milo said, "especially after I've been terrorizing you with my lov--ow!"

Milo dropped the knife, clutching his right thumb with his other hand. Sweetheart immediately reacted, placing their drink down and grabbing for his hand.

"What did I tell you! Here, let me see," They chided, brows creasing together as they pried his fingers away from his thumb to see--nothing. Sweetheart stared at his thumb for a few moments, blinking, before they groaned again. "You jerk!" They said, lightly pushing him away. "I was worried about you!"

"So you do worry when I hurt myself," Milo teased.

"You're evil," Sweetheart grumbled, crossing their arms.

Milo hummed, scootching over so that he could settle between their legs, a hand automatically settling on their thigh. "You love me," he said, his other hand coming up to cup the back of their neck and pull them in for a kiss. For someone who thought he was evil, they sure did respond to his touch, melting into him the second their lips touched.

"Evil," they muttered against his lips, though with considerably no force behind it.

"Will this make up for it?" Milo asked after he pulled away, reaching for the bowl beside them and presenting it.

"Maybe," Sweetheart said. They accepted the offered bowl.

"Dork," Milo muttered fondly, stealing a strawberry half. Sweetheart didn't respond, just wrinkling their nose at him. "Do you have the weekend off?"

Sweetheart nodded. "Finally."

"Perfect," Milo said, smiling.

"I swear to God if you say 'like you'--"

"Like you," Milo said, chuckling when Sweetheart lightly smacked his chest. "Eat, so we can go to bed."

--END--

[lucielmars]

hey it's anon from before!! I just read the final chapter of your fic, it was wonderful. gojo visiting nanami's grave made me cryyyyyy

thank you so so much for the wonderful fic!!! I'll never stop saying I love the way you wrote the characters, I love how you wrote the world of jujutsu, I love how you wrote the exploitation and all the other tragedies. I love how you explored morality in your fic too!! your characterization of them is so so good that your gojo is literally canon lmao !! and how you wrote him is so stuck in my mind he's the top 1 version that exists in there. everything about it is just so wonderful, I'm sure other commenters already made their own analysis or appreciation for more specific details in the fic (I've seen the long comments lol /pos)

also you said we could ask about your understanding of the characters? I don't have specific questions but would love to hear about it!!! I love love your satosugu<3

thank you so much again!!!!

Hi ! Sorry for the delay anon, September is such a busy period where I work T.T

To reply to your question, I'll tell you where I think SatoSugu is similar and where they are very different.

To me, they are very similar in that they are :

-Strong, but in a specific way. Strength is just a possibility, what truly sets them apart is that they are willing to use their strength. They want to have an impact on the world and those around them. Unlike Shoko or Nanami, for example, who are both fairly strong but see being a sorcerer as a job. I think that's what Gojo yearns for the most in the absence of Geto, this "meaningful existence." It's also what he means when he talks about how people don't understand him. His level of potential impact is terrifying even to him.

-Smart, even though of course the word smart means nothing and intelligence is just a specific set of skill. I would say they are both smart in that they think conceptually and in terms of systemic realities. They think about philosophy a lot. But they have other blind spots.

-Unloved Speaking of blind spot. So yeah, I think both Gojo and Geto have no idea how much the other loves him. And just how important they are to certain people (they both die thinking their kids will be fine without them which is ABSURD, they are very emotionally needed). I think they were both brought up with a love that was very conditional/hypocritical. So they don't understand how it works.

-Caring -> and parental. Which is kinda their downfall if you think about it. They both died because they couldn't kill a kid (yes I think Geto could have beaten Yuta.)

-Fake, they both are really good at hiding their true feelings / mental state. Which is a huge part of what makes them so interesting to write. The Geto death scene is so UHHH because they're both acting like they don't care and it's SO ANNOYING.

-Sadistic and violent, this one is up for debate but likeeee. The way Gojo kills curses ? The way Geto tortures a curse user and then gets immediate skincare from murdering a whole village ? They're freaks. Which doesn't make them 'bad guys' necessarily, but it's part of their personalities. It's also something that sets them apart from others, they both have a tendency for violence. And they like it, if it serves their ideals.

But they are very different on the aspects of :

-Control, I think is one of the most important difference. Gojo can let go of things and admit he doesn't control everything. Geto is obsessed with control : Self-control in particular (he doesn't even tell his friends that he's depressed and hides it). But also control of the world around him. His cult leader persona is (to me) a way to regain complete control after the chaotic state that he dissolved into from his depression and mental breakdown.

-Social aptitude, Geto is manipulative. Not to an extreme, but he definitely know how to use his appearance to gain followers, and I think he's really good at influencing others. Although, I think he doesn't manipulate the people he loves, or only to stop them from doing something that would harm them. Gojo, on the other hand, SUCKS at being socially apt. I genuinely think he doesn't understand how annoying he is. Geto is the only one who tries to explain to him how social dynamics work, and that's why he imprints on him like a kitten.

-Trauma, so that's the main thing that separates them for me : Gojo has a trauma around being abandoned (from his parents, most likely, and from the fact that any love he ever received was conditional except Geto). Geto, on the other hand, has a trauma around exploitation. Which is the worst combo, because their interactions are basically "do you need me, or am I just useful to you ?" And "don't leave, don't leave, don't leave." It makes it very hard for them to communicate efficiently.

Gojo is obsessed with being useful, and Geto is obsessed with not being used.

So now, why are they soulmates :

Their similarities could drive them to be really good leaders together. They have the will and the means to do it, and also kids that could be their heirs. Power couple for sure.

Their differences is what makes them really interesting as a couple though. I think Geto would thrive on having some level of (positive) control over Gojo, and Gojo would thrive on being taken care of in a bossy way (he loves it as a teen, come on). I also think Geto could become a better person, if he understood how much Gojo looks up to him and uses him as a moral compass, and Geto could also help Gojo improve socially (basically sit him down and explain to him how to not piss off others). And on the last point, their trauma opposes them as much as it could potentially help them grow, if they understood how much they mean to one another.

Their discussion in the afterlife is loosely about that. Gojo telling Geto "I would have been happy if you had been encouraging me." Notice, doing something that is objectively useless, but not to Gojo. And Geto being there for him, waiting in the afterlife.

[fantasies-fairytales-n-fics]

Code Blue Ch. 53 - Galway Girl

Summary: Josie has another run in with the law which leads to another revelation. She reaches out to a Savior with the new info. Luke plays his violin. A beloved sassy Scotswoman stuns Josephine on her hunt for the innocent Scotsman. An Irish memory rattles Jo. She and Gerry have a HUGE discussion on many subjects. More comes to light about Megan's attack. Emotions go awry when Gerry learns the truth.

*Chapter Warnings* language, angst, mentions of drugs and rape

Stories Stories Stories Masterlist

Salem, Massachusetts

March 22, 2022

The revelation of your ex-fiance's non-infidelity had your mind spinning as you carelessly sped down the freeway, stiff as a board with a white knuckled grip on the wheel and trying not to puke. Over and over, just as you had done 3 years ago, you began dissecting all the events of that painful day when you had awoke to the life altering text that you believed to have been from Gerry. A fabricated text to incriminate him, making it look like he had accidentally sent it to you instead of your sister which put her diabolical plan of entrapment all into motion of deeming him unfaithful and it had worked like a fucking charm. Still etched in your mind as if it were only yesterday, was the look of horror on Gerry's face when you found him in bed with Megan. A look that you now saw in a whole new light and you were so lost in that image that you did not notice the cop parked on the berm of the road, pegging you at 82 miles per hour.

The startling sirens brought you back to the present which you didn't even know where that was at the time, for you had just experienced one of those blackout moments where you didn't remember driving from point A to point B and wondered how you even did it without causing a wreck. You didn't have your seatbelt on either which you didn't realize until after you pulled over.

In your side mirror, you nervously watched the grumpy looking policeman approach your car, wishing it had been Luke because this time, you knew you couldn't cry your way out of it with being almost thirty miles per hour over the speed limit. Was he seriously unsnapping his gun holster???

"License and registration." the officer robotically requested as you rolled your window down.

You fumbled through your purse, then the glove box and handed him the items without question or argument, just wanting to get the humiliating moment over with and go.

He looked over the documents and then eyed you as he asked the usual rhetorical question. "Do you know why I pulled you over miss March?"

"Speeding I assume."

His reply was cocky as car after car sped by, taking advantage of the situation. "You assumed correct. 82 in a 55. Also I see you aren't wearing your seatbelt which is a law in every state other than New Hampshire which you are not in and your tail light is busted out as well which is a non-moving violation and a ticketable offense."

"Wait, what? How did that happen?? Can I go look?"

"You will need to remain in your vehicle while I go back and write up this ticket."

As soon as he was back in his cruiser, you immediately texted Jeffrey.

"I think u were right! Someone was in that car. My tail light is busted out and it wasn't when I was putting my bags in the trunk!"

About 30 seconds went by and he then replied. "Thx for the 411 darlin. Been thinkin bout it more since you dropped me off. Stowaway POS. Prob followed us to the junk yard too. He's toying with us. Busted the light as a warning. Ballsy fucker bit off more than he could goddamn chew. I'll find him and when I do, well I think you know how that will turn out. In the meantime, your best off to stay close to Craig. Sorry bout your trouble, Trouble😉 When you got time, bring your sweet self and that sweet ride to the shop and I'll get that taken care of for you asap. Least I could do for pissin you off. Talk more then."

"Thank u!! I'll text u later to let u know when I can come."

"You're very welcome doll. You can cum anytime."

You huffed and shook your head at his remark and before you could reply, he texted right back.

"Oh damn! Old habits die fucking hard. Told you I'd piss on the floor every now and then. Sorry for the comment. My bad."

You smiled and softly chuckled. "I'll let it slide. At least you're trying. Talk later."

"You rock girl. Later."

Stay close to Craig. Great. Now you had to haul all your stuff back to your apartment instead of going to your mom's as planned... for the time being anyways. You couldn't bring more trouble to her. Megan would surely remain in the hospital for quite sometime anyways and your mom would most likely take up residency in her room. Would they even be safe there though? Elizabeth sure wasn't. You then anxiously texted Luke.

"Hey. Can u please put a guard at Megan's door??? Just to be safe."

His reply was instant and shocking. "Already working on that Jo. No worries. I'm heading there in a few to speak with her as well since I was informed she is awake. Everything ok? Still pissed at me?"

You wanted to be but you just didn't have the energy anymore. "Thank u Luke. For everything. I'm fine. I just want my mom and sister to be safe right now. Please keep me updated."

You wanted to tell him so bad about the bar thugs since they were after him to begin with but you couldn't now that he was a cop. You just didn't know if you could trust him after knowing the little bit you knew about his agent days with Lee. Your list of loyal peers was growing thin anymore.

"I see you've deflected on my last question. I'm sorry things have to be this way. I really am Jo. I'm just trying to turn my life around but all I seem to be doing is making everyone hate me even more. Maybe it was a mistake to even come back here. I wanted to try to fix things and all I do is fuck them up even more. Suppose there's no reform for someone like me. Who am I to be some judge and jury? I'm a loner. Always have been. Better off that way...for everyone involved."

Luke was doing it again and at the worst possible time. Removing the armor and showing his softer side and that was why it was hard to stay angry with him. Just like Lee, he had a sordid past and had been through some bad shit. Knowing what Luke Sr. did to both Luke and Landy, defiling his own sons, was beyond comprehension to you so you couldn't even begin to imagine how that felt for the two wayward brothers. As you stared at your phone, not knowing how to reply to the heart on Luke's sleeve, you nearly jumped out of your skin when the officer appeared at your window, ticket in hand.

"I see that you're the late detective Brady's sister. Good man. So tragic. I am sorry for your loss."

Thinking he may decide to let you off with a warning, you smiled and hoped for the best. "Yes, I am. Thank you. Our family misses him so much."

"Your family, yes. I also am aware that that makes you Jason Morgan's sister. Not a good man, but you know that. He almost took you to the grave with him and here you are, speeding round town like he did on the bike as if you're something special."

"Ex...cuuuse me??!!"

"No, I won't excuse you like you probably thought I was going to just because of your family ties to the precinct."

Oh how you wanted to go all Betty White on him like she did in Lake Placid and call him Officer fuckmeat and then continuing on with her other snarky line of if I had a dick, this is where I'd tell you to suck it, but you would certainly be arrested this time if you did.

"Yeah well, I'm also detective Butler's ex- finacee and we're still very close. I'll be sure to tell him about this."

"I can see why it's ex. Lady, I don't care who you are. There won't be any preferential treatment here. Don't break the law. It's really not that hard. Here's your ticket. Have a good day Ma'am."

He handed you your expensive ass ticket with a court date for the following week and walked away as you sat with a gaping mouth.

"Asshole!" you grunted after you rolled up your window, then finally you were on your way, but before you drove off, you quickly texted Lee to tell him you would come to the cemetery but that you would be late. You didn't mention why though. It had nothing to do with the traffic stop and everything to do with the whopper of a secret that Megan confessed. As far as a reply to Luke, he would have to wait.

You called Gerry as you pulled up to the gates of the Kiriakis estate, but once again, he did not answer so you punched in the code for entry that only very few had. Those without the free pass would have to go through the whole rigmarole of identity verification and approval to be buzzed through, for Victor's security was understandably high with being a man of his nefarious stature and corresponding life. He may as well have been considered a celebrity. Of course ALL the other crime families of Salem were like that too.

The property was enormous and endless, consisting mostly of forestry, open country-like land and bayside access surrounding the mansion and one that did not know it well could easily get lost. It took you almost 5 minutes just to drive up the pine tree-lined path to the main house and then another minute to get back to the two story guest house where Gerry resided on the bay which was only a fraction in size of the stately manor. Even though Victor's fancy fortress had as many rooms as a 5 star hotel, Gerry cherished his privacy and wanted nothing to do with all servant bullshit and the tiresome walking involved in getting from room to room...and of course, papa Vic's business dealings. If the reserved detective could live like a hermit in a surfing shack on the beach, he would, for he loved the water and he had actually built one not far from the guest house that you were surprised he hadn't moved into already. It was more of a trailer located where all the good waves were for surfing and if he wasn't doing that, he was working on cars, one of his favorite pastimes. Maybe that's where he had been when he wasn't at the hospital visiting his father?

Once you reached the guest home, there were two cars parked in the front and neither were Gerry's.

You deciphered at least one to most likely be the maid or gardener, for Victor was OCD on the cleanliness and beauty of his grounds. As for the other, no clue. Maybe he had a girlfriend now? That could explain why he wasn't answering your calls.

After parking by the garage, you peaked in the window and saw Gerry's truck inside, so you headed up to the porch and rang the doorbell. There was no answer so you rang it once more and then glanced through the small window panel to see the television on, but no one was there.

"Gerry???!!" you shouted and knocked aggressively. "It's me, Jo!"

Another minute went by and no one came to the door. "Alright. " you sarcastically rationalized out loud as you took out the key you still had. "If you can walk right into my mother's home, I can do the same here."

You crept inside and quietly closed the door, then made your way to the TV, turned it off and called to him once more. "Gerry! Are you here??"

In the silence, you heard the toilet flush from the bathroom around the corner and then the door opened.

"Hallo?" a woman's familiar voice loudly questioned and then in walked Gerry's mother, gasping as she covered her mouth.

"Josephine darlin, in the name of the wee man!" the petite Gaelic woman with salt and pepper hair exclaimed in her strong Scottish accent.

Ironically, her name was Margaret just like your mother's and they both shared a son with Victor. She even had fiery hair like your mother once upon a time which was possibly what attracted Victor to her aside from the identical names and similar accents. The only difference was, she went by Margie and your mother went by Maggie. Margie lived in the Scottish Highlands and rarely visited the states. Gerry had usually went to see her instead, for he didn't like her braving the big Scotland airports alone such as Glasgow and Edinburgh, so you were just as stunned to see her as she was you. She probably came to support her son over Victor's heart attack which now made sense as to why Gerry had fallen off the grid, but it still pissed you off that he couldn't have sent you a simple text instead of ignoring you.

"Margie?? Oh my God is right!"

In the shared excitement, you both bee-lined to each other and embraced. You had surely missed her, for she had always made you feel like a part of her family. She was so kind-hearted and compassionate with a side of Scottish sass and she adored you. Needless to say, she was just as heartbroken as you and Gerry were when you and he had went your separate ways.

"I had no idea you were here Margie. Sorry for just walking in. I rang the bell and knocked but..."

"Oh, I tried to hurry but I was in the cludgie doin my jobby. It's a wee bit bowfin in there, so I would wait awhile if ye need to pee. It might make ye greet." she warned with a grin and a wink, for it literally meant she was taking a very smelly shit, one that would make you cry. She was usually quite frank about everything.

"I haven't been able to reach Gerry lately. When did you get here?"

"About tree days ago. I told my boy I was coming and there was nothin he could do about it so he flew all the long way to Glasgow and swooped me up in the sky on that fancy Kiriakis jet so I wouldn't have to fly alone. Ye know my Gerard, stubborn as an ox just like his Da. Oh goodness it is so guid tae see ye! Are ye well my darlin girl? Ye know I will always think of ye as my daughter no matter whit's happened."

You smiled and held her dishpan hands. "Of course I will always see you as a mother figure and I've certainly had better days."

"Ye do look a wee bit peely wally and ye been greetin. Yer een are red. Dinnae fash yersel. I won't tell."

"Dinner...what?" you giggled. "Sorry, my Gaelic sucks."

"It means don't worry. Nothin to be sorry about. Look who ye learned it from! Although Gerry knows the Celtic tongue, he tends to haver in the lowland Scot's language." she snarked with an eye roll. "But I suppose, like yersel, no one would understand him around here. His accent has weakened too. He tries to emphasize it more when I'm around and he thinks I don't notice the change but I suppose if I saw him more, it wouldn't seem so drastic now would it?"

"No, I suppose not. How is Edward? He didn't come?"

Her infamous Scottish sass surfaced about Gerry's stepfather. "Oh that old numpty craw. The eejit is probably sittin on his arse with his tap aff, wearin his baffies and clyping to the neebs while sippin on his uisge. He didn't want to come and be a proper crabbit around Gerry, but we all know it's because he don't take kindly to Victor and wouldn't be caught dead in his home."

"Have you went to see Victor?"

"HA!" she guffawed and rolled her eyes again. "I don't give a radan's arse about the old bawbag either but let's keep that between you and me. I'm only here to use the rich bastard's free amenities and to be here for Gerry because only the good Lord above knows why he loves that menace to society."

There was another difference between your mother and Margie. Your mom loved Victor. Margie despised him because he could never get over your mother. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

"Well, I would say your secret's safe with me but it's not like Gerry don't know how you feel. Speaking of, where is he? And.... who's cars are out front? Does he have other guests?"

"If yer hinting around to see if Gerry has some manky hen hiding under his bed, that would be a flat out naw. The only hen in his heart will always be the bonnie lass I'm lookin at, his Galway girl. One of the cars is a rental Gerry got for me so I can come and go as I please. Somebody has got to get the messages around here. Wasn't enough scran for a luch to nibble on. The other is Brady's car, ye know, the son who's name is strangely the same as yer mum's maiden name? or maybe it's Phillip's car? I lose track of all Victor's offspring anymore. All I know is one of his half brothers is here. The skinny malinky long legs and a braw lookin fella there in that picture on the stand. Looks like my Gerard when he was a lad."

You picked it up and chuckled. "Ahh, that would be Phillip, the youngest one. They have the same slanted smile and dimples. Is that where Gerry is? With Phil?"

"Aye, sorry, I don't know where my mind went whit all my haverin. Jetlag has me knackered, sticks with ye longer when yer thairis air a 'bheinn."

You tilted your head at her like a confused puppy. She usually used more of the Scot's English for you but would forget when she was rambling and would blurt out her witty words the way she spoke to Gerry because it was simply what she was accustomed to with being from the highlands. You compared it to playing a game of charades on guessing what she meant.

"Oh sorry darlin. I did it again. It means when yer over the hill. Anyways, Phillip's upstairs sleeping off the lagair. He and Gerry were off their trolley last night after visiting their dunderheid da. Phil got the boke. Poor lad. His heid's mince. He hit a pure whitey come morn. I told him not to have so many swallies but he was determined to keep up with Gerry. My son is out on the docks, up to high doh on fixin the boat while suckin down more of the bevvy and still reefin on those clatty baccy fags, so I've been in here, scrannin ma wee pan in on some mince and tatties, which is whit sent me to the cludgie and I was goin to watch my stories when ye popped in."

She very indiscreetly glanced over your shoulder to see the TV. "Ye mak a better door than a windae. Go on now. Get yer bahookie out there and have yersels a blether. That's whit ye came here for now aye? Whit's fur ye'll no go by ye."

Her smile was devious. You knew she wanted you and Gerry to reconcile but you couldn't even think of things like that when you loved Lee the way you did, but you understood what she last said and you certainly believed it. What's for you will not go by you. There were always signs if you paid attention, which you always did.

With your stomach in knots, you slowly headed out down the lengthy dock where you could see the speed boat up on the lift with Gerry inside of it and you could hear his jeers too, swearing like the Scotsman he truly was.

The day had become dreich as Margie would say and it was getting colder too, even more so out on the water. It felt like a reflection of your emotions. The calm before the storm that was about to become a category 5 hurricane when you found the courage to tell Gerry of Megan's betrayal. Knowing him the way you did, he wouldn't believe it at first and you could already predict his words. Yer bum's oot the windae! Blatantly translated....you're full of shit.

Your phone beeped, causing your already shortened steps of rapidly growing cold feet to cease altogether. It was Lee responding to your text that informed him of your late arrival.

"I have already waited a lifetime for you. I can wait longer because you are worth every aching minute of delay. I will wait forever if I must, just to breathe in your presence."

How? How could any human being possess such power over you? To be able to stop and restart your heart all from one simple text? As you stood there, literally holding Lee's bleeding heart in your hands, you began to feel incredibly guilty for making him wait, especially because you had chosen to go to Gerry first and you knew he wouldn't understand. You didn't even understand.

Forcing down the urge to lean over the rail and hurl, you gripped your queasy stomach and continued on. The closer you got, music became audible. You halted your steps once more, gasping as the song flung you back in time to 5 years ago in Galway when your relationship with Gerry was shiny and new. It was all your eyes could see as you gazed at Gerry working in the boat.

You had been wanting to go back to your roots and he had made that happen for you by taking you to Ireland on the same jet he picked his mom up in. It took a lot of coaxing though to get you on the man-made bird, for that was how your father had died when his plane had went down, something you rarely spoke of. Doped up on anxiety meds and tucked in the safety of Gerry's arms like a baby bird had gotten you through the fear and before you knew it, you and he were in Galway, partying it up.

The song was Galway Girl. Gerry said it reminded him of you and one night at one of the local pubs, the dashing detective showed off one of his many other talents. Playing guitar and singing that particular and very popular song with some guys he used to be in a band with back in his youthful days...and he sang it to you as he strummed the acoustic chordophone and strutted his way through the overcrowded room, embarrassing the hell out of you and then to top that off, he grabbed you up in his arms and kissed you madly. But you loved it and you loved him. It was like no one existed that night but you and him. Everything was so different then. You and Gerry were different, right down to his clean shaven baby face and your red hair with bangs.

You could still feel that kiss, taste it even. Guinness Stout mixed with sweet cologne and salty sweat. You were so happy. He was so happy. You could have had it all, rollin in the deep as the song said. He had your heart inside of his hand and he played it to the beat, or so you had believed no thanks to Megan's malevolence. She ruined everything. If she hadn't, would you now be Mrs. Josephine March Butler? You momentarily glanced down at your ring finger where the glowing golden rock used to be that he proposed to you with. He chose it because it was his birthstone and it reminded him of your amber eyes. He said it proved you and he were born for one another and even with Gerry, you had believed in all the signs so you really took that one to heart, along with both of your mothers names being the same. When everything went to shit, you took that as another sign and even went as far as secretly blaming it on the fact that he was a Scorpio. Low compatibility with your sign, a Sagittarius. Water and fire. It was said to be a very challenging relationship which it eventually became even without Megan's interference. You had just needed some fucking reason to understand how Gerry could ever cheat on you and with your slutty sister of all people or even at all. Would you have ever even met Lee? What would have happened if you had? Because your connection with him was instant and extremely intense, like the striking and igniting of a match. Aries and Sagittarius. Fire meets fire. You literally burned for each other.

As the song ended, the silence brought you back to the present, still staring at Gerry who had now locked his widened blue eyes upon you. Watching him hop out of the boat and casually strut his way to you in a dark baggy tee and a pair of khakis, you resumed your steps and your breathing that you swore had also ceased during your involuntary time travel.

He looked back at the boat and then you. "She's being stubborn. Hope you didn't come for a boat ride."

The ridiculous attempt to downplay his ghosting of you was expected and typical of Gerry, as well as the adorably anxious smile he displayed.

Gerry knew damn well you couldn't swim and would never get in a recreational boat but you couldn't even muster up a snarky retort with the way you were feeling and he noticed it. You noticed something too as he laid the rag on the railing and asked you if you wanted a beer. He was wearing his wedding ring.

"N..no. I'm good." you softly and simply declined.

As he opened the mini fridge under the small kitchen island used for bay parties, he looked back at you with concern.

"You ok?"

"I'm fine Gerry."

He popped the cap off the Heineken and took a swig while staring at you. "You're good, you're fine. Ok. Then why do you look like you've been crying?"

"Why do you look like a bottle of whiskey kicked your arse? Where have you been Gerry? I've been trying to reach you and I know damn well you know that. Why couldn't you answer my texts and calls??"

"Not to evade questioning like you're doing or to be a prick but since when do I owe you any explanations about my life? Last time I checked, we were never married."

"Fair enough...but why are you wearing your ring??"

His lips parted as he glanced down at his hand with a baffled expression, for clearly he had forgotten about it.

"Ohhh...that. Yeahhhh. Phil and I got a bit minced on a few wee drams last night and I woke up wearing it and well...now it's kind of stuck. Fingers got fatter I guess."

"A few shots?" you snickered. "I know how liberal you Scots pour those. According to your mom, ya'll were oot yer tree... errrrr was it off yer trollie?"

Gerry face palmed and grinned, then he sighed as he sat down on the rail. "Both terms would be correct. Look Josie, I'm dealin with a lot. You know that. I got my Mum in there hovering over me as you now know. I got Phil's young, dumb and reckless arse in there to look after and Vic over there in the hospital, still not doing well and now there's you."

You both gazed at each other for a moment, knowing he was reading you like a book and you began to feel sick all over again about what you had to tell him. His eyes already held so much stress and exhaustion and you were about to make it ten times worse.

"Josie...why are you here? What's going on with you sweetness? I can see it in those gorgeous eyes that something's wrong."

He was killing you. Gerry always called you sweetness from day one but it's the first time he had used the term of endearment it in a very long time.

"What ISN'T going on? Like you, I'm being hit at every angle with a new fresh hell every 5 minutes."

"And....you came..to me? Why? Don't you have that pretty doctor to bandage all your wounds?"

Your eyes instantly welled up. "You know what? This was obviously a mistake. I'm sorry for wasting your time."

As you spun around to leave, Gerry leaped off the rail and grabbed your hand, pulling you back. "Wait, wait...I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I..I'm just not used to you coming to me for anything or even talking to me much at all for that matter and now here you are, out of nowhere and...."

Gerry paused as he intensely peered down into your glistening eyes. He was still clinging to the littlest bit of hope that someday you would want him back and he couldn't help but wonder if that's why you were there.

His thumb softly caressed the top of your hand as he still held it. "Talk to me baby. Did...did he...hurt you in some way?"

There he went, reading you again like a psychic with that annoying intuition of his. Gerry was certainly meant to be a cop.

"Just stop!" you cried, yanking your hand from his and turning away from him as you softly sobbed. "I am NOT going to talk to you about Lee, so just stop Gerry. Please just stop."

"It's very clear that I'm right but I will respect your wishes."

His then laid a gentle hand upon your shoulder. "But you're crying and you know what that does to me. Did my mum say something to you? I know she tends to overstep...."

You turned, eyes closed as you sighed, then forced them up to his. "No, she was actually more subtle about you and me this time. God, I'm just so fucking frazzled right now."

"I can see that. Ok, take in deep breath, hold it for a second and then just let it go. Here, I'll do it with you, come on. 1, 2..."

"Gerryyyy...that doesn't work." you whined with an eye roll.

"No, don't argue with me. Just do it. One more time, 1...2...3."

On his count of three, you just began blurting things out. "First off, there's how many experienced cops at the Salem P.D. with murder cases and you left that egotistical rookie partner of yours in charge of Elizabeth's case. Does no one realize it's a conflict of interest?? Luke and Lee are at each other's throats over their own issues so HOW is this fair to Lee being a person of interest when Luke's the investigating officer??!! And let's not forget a little girl is missing and it's all my fault! This is one of the reason's I have been trying to reach you because you can be objective and get shit done and speaking of cops, I got pulled over on the way here by Officer over the fucking hill for speeding and he was rude and mean and insulted me all because Jason's my brother, oh and someone busted my fucking tail light out and rusty water keeps coming out of the faucets!!!"

Gerry's response was of simple surprise as he stared at you, lips ajar. "Wow."

"That's it? Wow??"

"Well Josie, there's all kinds of bad shit in this county going on and we only have so many cops who are on pre-existing cases, not to mention the huge drug shit going on so I felt Luke could handle this while I got my shit together since he's highly qualified and all and no, I was not aware of the personal conflicts with him, but now I am and I'll look in to it. I'm sorry I've been distant but I really didn't think I was needed in your life anymore. Bring your car out to the trailer tomorrow if you want and I'll fix it but as far as your plumbing problem, isn't that your mobster landlord's responsibility?"

"Hilarious Gerry. Craig is not a bad guy. His daughter is missing so don't start in on him like you always did Jason who also isn't a bad person like that cop called him and I'm not going to ask Craig to fix my shower when it isn't even broken."

"But you just said..."

"It's not the plumbing. Just never mind. You wouldn't believe me if I told you and that doesn't really matter right now so forget I said anything."

Gerry looked at you with skepticism. "Ok. But what did you mean by isn't?"

"Huh?"

"You said Jason isn't a bad person. Don't you mean wasn't?"

Oh god. You DID say that and you needed to do damage control real fucking fast because this wasn't the first time you had almost let it slip that Jason was alive and Gerry was too damn smart. You hated lying to him but Jason would tell the world his secret when he was ready. In the meantime, you hoped he would find Ethan sooner than later and especially Blaise, but you hadn't a single clue what your undead brother was even doing or where he and Britt were. Did Jason even know what happened to Megan?

"Of....course I meant wasn't Gerry. It was an accident. He's only been gone close to 2 months now. Still don't seem real." you sniffled and wiped the corner of your eye for good measure.

"Alright. I get it. Sorry. Guess I'm still in cop mode and speaking of, so this cop that pulled you over. What's his name?"

"I...I don't know?"

"You got the ticket on you?"

You dug into your purse. "Yeah. Here."

Gerry stood looking it over and then his eyes popped as he chuckled. "82 Josie? Really? Where was the fire? All of this was that important to get here? Anyways, I know this prick."

He crumpled the pink paper up without a care and chucked it into the water. "There. No more ticket."

"Gerry...what are you doing??! I need that!"

"Not anymore you don't. I'll make it go away. One problem solved."

You knew he could too. You just didn't want to ask him to. "I..you...you would do that for me? I mean, with you being all by the book and stuff, no matter who it is?"

"I think you know you're an exception to that rule. I would do anything for you, especially if I can in some way make up for all the pain I caused you."

Your stomach twisted. You couldn't put it off much longer. The truth about Megan.

"Can you make everything else go away too? Lee didn't hurt Liz and he certainly didn't kill her. Please tell me you believe that."

"I've done my research on Lee and no, I don't think he attacked or offed his ex. Honestly JoJo, I think it could be someone else who Elizabeth pissed off which according to Luke's reports, was quite a muckle amount of people, even including you but of course I know that's not the case. I'm leaning more towards someone who wants us to believe Lee did it since he does have quite the motive, but again...I don't feel it was him. Things just don't add up. I think someone was more pissed off at Lee than Elizabeth."

Gerry didn't suspect you but someone certainly tried to make it look that way by planting all that stuff in Lee's car, but you couldn't tell Gerry about that and now your thoughts swirled like a twister, sucking in every person with means and motive to hurt the two of you. Someone who knew Lee's routines.

"Well, there's a large list of those people too. Ethan will always be my first guess. He hates me and that Lee chose me and not him and we all know what he's capable of. Then there's Angel, Lee's neighbor. Another jealousy, woman scorned thing and there's that Carpenter guy. I mean, you witnessed his rage at Lee and there's even..."

You paused, feeling guilty for even thinking it, but your priority was to always protect Lee, no matter who you had to throw under the bus. "There's...your new partner...Luke. Something happened years ago between them Gerry and I don't know what that was but I do know it was really bad and the two of them, as I said, are not getting along. I just think you don't know everything about Luke and I know I don't either, but from what I've seen and from what I DO know, he has a violent streak in him, especially if provoked. Just like his brother Ethan and maybe Luke is using this cop thing to his advantage?? I mean, he was WSB for christ's sake and..."

Gerry shook his head. "Stop. Stop."

But you didn't stop. "No Gerry! Is it really that far fetched?? He's smart as hell. He can easily hide things he don't want people to know. Trust me."

So could Lee for that matter, but you were way past ever thinking it was him and would forever regret that the thought had ever crossed your mind just like the guilty person wanted it to.

"Or maybe he's just doing his damn job. So let me get this straight. You think a former WSB agent is now a dirty cop and my partner at that, just to seek some kind of revenge on his once good friend."

"I..I don't know! It's possible yes?? He knows Lee inside and out."

"I'm smart as hell too and would like to think I am damn good at what I do and the fact that you're standing here implying that I wouldn't see right through a conspiracy like that is rather insulting. I'm telling you Josie, it's not Luke. Until you can give me something concrete as to why Luke would want to hurt Lee, you need to drop it."

"Ok fine. Maybe it's not to hurt Lee? Maybe it was FOR Lee. Luke hated Liz too for what she did to Lee."

"You know, you're definitely right about one thing. Luke is too close to this and needs pulled from the case. With that said, I think you're forgetting a few others with motive to kill Nurse Webber. I mean...let's not forget her ex-husband who she kept his own daughter from, or so called daughter I should say since he believes Blaise to be Ethan's and if that turns out to be true, it's really damn good motive on his part to off her and let's also not forget his line of work, so there's that."

"Nope. Stop it Gerry. Craig did not do it. Leave him alone already. He wouldn't do that to his daughter no matter how much he despised Liz."

"You seem so sure of that and oddly protective of him. What's that all about?"

"None of your business. Now who else? You said a few others."

"Ok, but you aren't going to like it."

"WHO!" you snapped.

The name that came out of his mouth made your skin crawl. "Peter. He's been making some noise lately from within that 6 by 6 of his."

"W...w...what?" you softly stammered in fear.

"I wasn't going to tell you this but out of the blue, he's been demanding to get word to you to come see him and he won't say why, which I think we all know is because he knows about you being with Lee. The warden let me know about it and I've made sure any letters he sends out with your name are never sent."

You shuttered inside. "Just like he sent letters to Britt, wanting her to give them to me."

"She didn't did she? I was under the impression she loathed her sadist brother."

"She does and no. I never saw the letters and I don't want to talk about Pe..." you sighed, unable to even say his name. "Why are you bringing him up?? You're in good with this warden. Get him to put him in solitary confinement where he belongs, like he did to me!!"

"I'm sorry. I said you wouldn't like it. I know what he did to you, kidnapping you and locking you in that morgue drawer. I was there and saved you remember? Or you would have suffocated and believe me, if I could shut him up, I would, but I can only do so much. I'm bringing him up because we all know he has extreme jealous tendencies and access to people on the outside. I think you know where I'm going with this. If he wants to get to you or Lee, he can."

You wanted to tell Gerry so bad what you knew about Lee's past with Luke involving Peter aka Sam Colin and how Lee was using that alias because Luke told him to, but you just couldn't. You trusted Gerry with your life but not Lee's.

"Yeah, I do. He could easily set Lee up to get him away from me which is WHY his communication needs to be revoked!! He's not only the son of an infamous terrorist, but he's one himself and he shouldn't have the privileges he has Gerry! Besides that, do you really think it's his style to frame someone?? He's more of the eraser type.''

"Then why isn't Lee dead already? Peter is his father's son yes, but he wasn't raised by him, only that other whack job son of his was, Charles Rane, who got blown up across the pond years ago."

You felt sick again, because it was Lee who caused that explosion, killing the Rane of terror. If you only knew what happened. The entire story. You would bet money Peter knew. So did Spinelli from intercepting those letters from Peter to Britt. And of course, Jason knew. If only you had listened to his and Lee's entire conversation instead of interrupting them, maybe you would know the truth.

"Does that make Peter any less dangerous?" Gerry continued. "No, but I had been after Cesar for so long and the two couldn't be more different. You should know since Faison was going to kill you the night you got shot, which not to defend Peter, but he meant to hit his father, not you, in an attempt to save you. Cesar eliminates his threats. Peter toys with them. The sadistic fuck likes to watch people suffer. Big difference."

"I swear if you say his name one more time!! And yeah, I know the difference. It's the real reason, which you already know, that my anxiety issues arose and why I'm claustrophobic and scared of the dark and storms! You have no idea what thunder sounds like inside a cold metal box. But in shame, I tell everyone, even Lee, it's because Megan locked me in a crawl space during a storm when we were kids, which was true, but that never damaged me the way that monster did. I...I couldn't fucking breathe. I could still smell the chloroform and I can still see the darkness all around me, stealing my breath like the grim fucking reaper and hear the echoes of my own cries as I called out for you."

"I know...and Peter claimed he was hiding you from his father because you were my girlfriend and Faison would kill you if he found you. Maybe I should go visit the piece of shit because now I'm angry all over again and want to rip his minging heid aff!!"

There was the full blown Scottish accent and you hadn't even told him about Megan yet. "Well maybe someone in prison will get to him first, shank him over and over and over or slip some rat poison in his coffee or something. I bet you could arrange that."

"Haud yer wheesht! What's gotten into you Josie? Just because you're Jason's sister doesn't mean you have to act like him."

"Now YOU haud yer wheesht!"

"I will when you stap yer haverin!"

Your lips pursed and you went to riposte, but Gerry's phone rang. "Saved by the bell. Guess Luke's ears were ringing. I gotta take this. He fills me in from time to time."

As Gerry walked away to talk privately, you went to the sink for a glass of water. Your eyes were on him, trying to listen as you turned the faucet on but he was purposely whispering. Your hand became wet as the glass overflowed and when you looked down, your hand was stained with red water.

"Gerry!!!" you screeched and dropped the glass in the sink, shattering it.

"I'll call you later!" Gerry barked and ran to you. "Fuck Josie, did you cut your hand? Here baby, let me see it!"

"It's not blood Gerry. It's the water!! This is what I told you about! First at Dave's, then at my place and now here. I...I don't know what the fuck is happening. It's like some supernatural sign or an omen or something. Gerry, I feel like something bad is going to happen."

His eye dropped from yours and he became silent as he dried your hand off with a towel.

"Gerry? W..what's wrong? What did Luke tell you??"

He threw the towel down and grabbed another beer. "When were you going to tell me about Megan being kidnapped and attacked?"

"I...I was going to. We were just, you know, talking about all this other stuff and I got distracted. That's all."

"Luke's at the hospital now and asked me if I could find a guard and..."

"You need to! Because I don't think she was expected to be found considering where she was at. Did he speak to her? What did she say? Because she told me and mom she couldn't remember anything just before it happened and during, just that she remembered Dave finding her and...Gerry...she said she feels like it wasn't Ethan but...I don't believe that. She's either scared to rat him out or it's just the trauma."

"Or it's the drugs they found in her system compromising her memory. Her blood panel showed traces of Rohypnol in her system. It's a roofie."

"Oh my god...."

"That's...not all Josie. They uh...they did a rape kit on her and..."

"No...just...no. Tell me she wasn't."

"I...I can't. I'm sorry Josie. Luke said she don't remember it but she was so distraught from the results of both tests that they had to sedate her."

Your eyes burned with tears as your heart began to pound. "M..mom...what about my m...mom?"

"Luke's staying with her for awhile. Still think he's a cold blooded killer?"

"I...I don't know what to think anymore. Gerry...there's more...and it involves you. I need to get this out. It's the entire reason I came here."

"Why do I feel like I'm the one who's not going to like this now? What is it Joey? Oot with it."

You drew in a deep breath like he told you to do earlier, then exhaled long and hard. "Ok. Here it goes. After speaking to Megan today, she decided to do some kind of conscience cleanse and...she...she claims that you and she...never slept together. That she set you up to hurt me."

Gerry turned around with an incredulous sigh, placed his palm on his forehead for a moment, then turned back to you with his mouth hanging open.

"What? Yer bum's oot the windae." he exclaimed, exactly as you predicted he would and still in shock, he questioned again. "What?"

"It's not nonsense Gerry. Trust me, I didn't believe it at first either, but...her demeanor and how she cried her eyes out...it's true Gerry. She admitted to drugging you and even wearing my perfume to get you excited, but the drugs and the alcohol only ended up knocking you out, so she sent me that text from your phone, then took your clothes off and hers and climbed into bed with you, waiting for me to show up the next morning. It was all a fucking set up Gerry because she was jealous of me. I...I'm so sorry." you cried. "I..I...should have known better...I should have believed you when you said something didn't feel right...I..."

And here it came. The blow up you dreaded.

"That clatty cunt!!! Are you fucking kidding me??!! Oh karma sure bit her in the arse now didn't it eh??!! JEE-sus Mary and Joseph what the fuck is wrong with that girl??!! She should be in a fucking mental institution. I cannot even comprehend this right now. She..she ruined everything for us and for what?? Just to make you suffer?? And don't you dare stand here and blame yourself. I wouldn't have believed me either! She's going to fucking pay for this, so help me God."

"Well, as you said, she's already getting her karma."

"Ohhh hell no. She's going to get MY karma. Why am I the only one that's losing my shit here??!! She destroyed us Josie!! My god, did it ever cross your mind that we might still be together and even married?? You would be wearing the rings that go with the one I'm wearing right now!"

"That's ALL that has crossed my mind Gerry!! I'm supposed to be somewhere else right now but I came here. It's why I got fucking pulled over. I kept spacing out with the memories. I literally kept seeing the look on your face when I found you with her and it hurts like hell, all of it and then I get here and you're playing that damn song and my mind went back to those memories too and then I see you with that ring on and...and...and...I...god Gerry...I'm so confused!!"

He finally calmed down and started a conversation that you knew he would but were in no way prepared for. "Why? Why are you confused? My god, I'm innocent sweetness. Does this mean anything to you now? Does it...change...anything? Because nothing has ever changed for me except losing you. I still love you as much as I did then, if not more and..."

"Gerry...please don't."

He came up to you, face to face, pleading his case. "Don't what?? I never fucking cheated on you baby. I never could. That's why it never made any sense and you and me, being apart never made any sense. Do you not feel anything at all for me anymore? Is it really all gone? Because we were crazy as hell for each other and I know I'm not wrong about that. I mean, look what we had. We had a beautiful life. I know we had been through shit after you were shot, with the whole children thing, but we made it through that. We worked hard for what we had. Let's put some more gas in the tank."

"Gerry...I...I'm with Lee now, you know that and I..."

"Are you? Because I'm looking right at you standing here in front of me. Is that where you're supposed to be right now? But you're not, are you? You came to me. You could have waited to tell me all this. What was one more day of letting me feel the agony of losing the best damn thing that's ever happened to me? You couldn't. You couldn't do it. You had to come tell me right away and why? Because it fucking matters to you. I...matter to you, even now, after all this time, even after you moved on with someone else."

"Of..of course it matters to me Gerry! And no, I didn't want you to suffer anymore, not even for one more day..."

He stepped right up against you and placed his large hands on your cheeks, his face merely inches from yours, his warm beer breath showering your lips. "I...matter to you. Say it Josie. Tell me I still matter. Tell me you feel nothing for me anymore. Tell me you don't still love me, not even a little bit."

Tears raced out of your eyes and over his hands as your lips began to quiver. "I...I...Gerry please sto..."

His lips took yours with a fierce passion like he did on the dance floor that night in Galway and you found yourself succumbing to him like you did on the dance floor that night in Galway. The familiarity of his taste, the way his lips moved, the way they felt, the way HE felt all came flooding back to you and you couldn't pull yourself away.

@redeemer46

[healer-pop]

STAR ANON I SEE WHAT YOU ARE!! /pos thats such a venture thing to do istg, I can't BELIEVE-

i also enjoy how we've all essentially decided they're a god damn tease and like to edge the fuck outta you <3 - feral

every day I crave writing a fluffy smut fic, where the two of you are in an long-term, established relationship, and it’s just the most endearing, loving, and goofy sex that you’ve ever read that makes you think, “these people are going to be head over heels in love until their 102. the way they act like an old married couple.” but then venture does the strap thing in overwatch and I lose my fluffy thoughts to p0rny ones. help.

i do think my favorite accepted headcanon for Venture is that no matter what, whether they’re serious or silly, they be teasing you non-stop. it’s like they have a sole mind for processing everything you do and churning out little things that make you pout so they can kiss your lips. just a wholesomeness and relaxed feeling about their relationship with you that makes you smile, you’re their best friend, they feel like they can joke around with you like that because they can never lose you, and they make it a point to bring light to your day. just inside jokes between two people who adore each other and can poke fun at each other, idk might be my ideal form of love. ❤️

and bringing that energy into the bedroom is so much fun, makes everything better. they can take it to a dommy state that just makes you completely soaked when they pair it with a “try me” kind of look, almost forcing a bratty partner to react or a subby partner to submission. they bring out the menace in all of us. best Dom EVER. and how they carry themselves?? so self-assured that they can almost feign empathy to your begging, you don’t even realize they’re edging you as they nod with their mirrored pout, “I know baby! Must be so hard, isn’t it? You want me to let you cum? Yeah? Awwww, so much… you’re taking so, so much, so much of my cock, huh? it’s probably just so big, stretching you out like that!”

on a completely unrelated note: VENTURE 100% THE TYPE THAT MAKES FUN OF YOUR TYPOS AND BRINGS THEM UP IN MIDCONVO.

[greattigerssimp]

~I'm opening up Punch Out roleplays!!~

---

Yep, y'all heard me. As someone who loves writing and roleplays, I will officially be opening up roleplays! You can play as your OCs, self inserts, etc. alongside any roleplay starter I list below (or your very own!) Ofc I'm going to be using my AU of the characters (as seen pinned to my profile) in order to play as said characters (mainly from the Wii version of PO).

Rules:

- No racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, etc.

- Please engage! Write at least 2 sentences per response so I'm not just role-playing by myself ;-;

- I will do nsfw/f*tish roleplays (I'm an adult after all) buuuut you need to NOT be a minor + you need my permission

- OC/self insert x canon roleplays are allowed!

- Please let me know if anything I write makes you feel uncomfortable (I'm autistic lmao idk when I cross boundaries)

- Have fun!!

I tend to use a variety of different roleplay styles, typically script-style and standard, but you can use any style you'd like! ^^ Anyways, with all that said and done, let's go over some roleplay starters!

Starters:

Starter 1: The new boxer in town!

"You/OC has recently moved to NYC in order to participate in the rising boxing league, the World Video Boxing Association! You came from *insert country/state here* and are excited to meet your new co-workers. The first night of your job sees you invited to a small welcoming party held at the WVBA gym near where you live."

Starter 2: The mysterious anomaly!

"You and the other boxers find each other stuck inside the WVBA gym during a thunderstorm. The power is out, and everyone is stuck hanging around the locker rooms. After Bear Hugger tells everyone a spooky story about "The anomaly" (see AU for details), everyone is placed on edge for the night, as everyone quickly realized that all the exits of the WVBA have been blocked off. What will you do?"

Starter 3: WVBA Anniversary vacation!

"Tomorrow morning is the 30th anniversary of the WVBA, and the network higher-ups have offered to take the boxers on a little fun trip to commemorate the occasion. But the boxers have to vote on what to do... should they cruise to an exotic island? Go to a fun theme park for a day? The choice is anyone's suggestion... perhaps yours!"

Starter 4: Uncovering Dreamland!

"After overcoming Lil Mac and Mr. Sandman and becoming the pound for pound champion of the WVBA, you get a special invitation to have dinner with the CEO of the WVBA (and the network)... Mr. Dream! Will you uncover something nefarious about the millionaire CEO? Who's to say..."

Starter 5: Box-con!

"Box-con is an annual event where the WVBA brings all of its boxers together at a special event (similar to comic con, but for boxers). All the boxers ever featured on the WVBA (which means the SPO boxers) are attending. Who knows what may transpire?"

Starter 6 (oc/self insert x headcanon only): The secret admirer!

*insert love interest here* has been on your mind the moment you two have met... after a difficult match, your love interest is exhausted and beaten down. You decide to help them... and possibly ask them out or such. Either of you could take the helm! (NSFW is allowed)."

Starter 7: WVBA World Tour!

"The WVBA is airing a brand new special, involving matches taking place in each boxers home country! From Paris, France to California, you join the boxers as they each reconnect with their roots and family's, all filled with drama and heart before the tour brings your OC/self insert to their native country."

Starter 8: The new trainer!

"You've been employed by Mr. Dream himself to become a personal, dotting trainer for all the boxers. Your goal as a trainer is to support and help each boxer prepare for their fights against one another, and to just look after their wellbeing in general. You'll learn about each boxers, their past, their fighting style, etc. You may even fall for one of them, hehe~"

(I might post more starters in the future!)

[oddlyhale]

I am still so upset they made Penny human and framed the robot part of her as evil/a weakness/something that needed to be fixed <3<3<3 (rage hearts)

I've accepted that the show absolutely hates the idea of people with non-organic bodies, and should be "purified" or "fixed" to ascend to Heaven-or-something without being "tampered."

They must've thought that "because her body was built by an Atlesian, she must be purified because Atlas is the 9th circle of Hell." Y'know, because of how hard they tried to convince people that everything Atlas-related is a literal hellspawn that THEY made.

I mean, it's really not helping that the religious undertones of V9 are making me feel uneasy with that notion. I know others aren't seeing it, but I get that 'bad feeling' every time V9 springs up. Ghoulish, cultish bad feeling.

Even now, they're making Yang look like a POS and she's the only one on the team that has an Atlesian prosthetic arm.

I've wanted to draw a mini comic where Penny, in the Remnant Afterlife, is talking with James and she mentions, "do you think I'll ever get my old body back?"

James is confused and asks, "don't you like your new body?"

"No. I liked my old body better. I didn't even ask for this body, I was given it." Penny responds.

Mind you, she was changed without her consent. She was in a state of unresponsiveness and the team just changed her body without thinking about how Penny would feel. Of course, the show plays it off like Penny likes her new body, but for what cost? She just dies anyway.

Penny deserves better.

[disaster-on-the-horizon]

Feedback Fest let's gooo!

Here's 10 recommendations from me, in no particular order

1] More Than A Sidekick, by Jason_Todds_Thigh_Holster (Henry Danger)

Oh, the classic "I have to pretend I don't care about you at all to save you, meanwhile I would give the whole word to you"-trope (totally official name). Mixed with the character in danger having relatively low self-worth and a usual "rough around the edges"-caretaker/mentor, it's just HMMMM (/pos)! I'm already a sucker for characters in hostage situations, so pairing these together is Such Good Soup. I personally didn't even keep up much with Henry Danger after my childhood, but the characters are already so nicely characterized within the fic itself, that you truly don't feel like you miss anything.

2] [injury] of a salesman, by becki (Deltarune)

It's only a one shot, but everything that happens is so well organized and shown that I keep forgetting. "basically just lots of spamton getting the love and care he needs" (author's tag) describes it well, and I am HERE for it. Especially the part where the two eat together tugs at my heartstrings, I love characters with some form of food-insecurity being allowed to eat freely. Swatch as a character is also such a delight.

3] URL not found, by Aster269 (@aster269) (Deltarune)

Quite a long one, this time; I read it while it was still going, and it was worth waiting for every update! The Addisons have very clearly established personalities and beliefs that are explained through their backstory. It's also very interesting to see every facet of their life, from childhood, to Big Shot Era to reunion. And personally, I can't get enough of the Addison Family unconditionally loving and supporting each other <3

4] The Wake-Up Call, by cookiescrumbles (Wander Over Yonder)

Wander. Has. Issues. And they are very well acknowledged here.

His personality really shines through here, both in the way he acts and talks. The entire concept is also very sweet; and I love Sylvia's and Wander's relationship. Shout out to the Hat, for getting Wander what he needs!

5] Tiny Reverberations, by Sylphidine_Gallimaufry (@sylphidine) (Deltarune)

SO! CUTE! Very short, but that just contributes to how fun of a read it is. It's pure fluff, and that mixed with Spam's reaction due to his low self-worth is balm for the soul <3 It's just so adorable; love the kitty <3

6] Mourning Dove, by LynnCanigula15 (@moonbeam-dragon) (Darkwing Duck)

I must say, I'm always a fan of people talking about the kinda messed-up stuff that happens in DW sometimes. And I think how the other three members of the F4 react to this - relatively complicated - situation is very much in character for who they are. Big fan of angst, and Bushroot's state of mind is especially interestingly described and established in chapter 2.

7] Back Alley Beatdown, by SwoodMaxProductions (@swoodthis) (Deltarune)

I love seeing Spamton fighting tooth and nail, knowing his own advantages. Sweet Cap'n Cakes are also very sweet and considered to the Spam Man here; making sure to reassure him when necessary. The description of the parts carefully placed beside him is a personal favourite of mine here! It also has a very nice conclusion.

8] Last of your Kind, by Vanyel (@boonbeenblade) (Cult of the Lamb)

It manages to say what it wants so clearly and concisely, seeing the length that it is. The use of language is truly phenomenal, and it shows a very cool outlook on the relationship between the Lamb and TOWW. Even though the fic depicts events that you literally play yourself, it manages to give an interesting outlook on them, making one able to experience them again as if from fresh eyes, from the perspective of the character. The second-person writing comes off as very natural.

9] Ever so slightly, by Pancakes_for_Dragons (Deltarune)

Sometimes I need a story that is just unapologetic angst. The fic gives Rouxls a very clear persona that reflects on his literal state as the "Rules Card" very well. How his relationship with Lancer grows is really sweet; and especially "I’m thoust Lesser father, surely that musteth count for something." and the whole event around it, still has a space in my mind, since the first time I read it!

10] breathe, breathe, by SteveSmackdown2014 (School for Vampires)

Again, just a very sweet story. It's very easy to see it both from Oskar's (with all the knowledge we have as viewers) and from Sunshine's (with a more 'normal', human outlook) perspective; and why they both react the way they do. Oskar's fear is shown as so very real, but the actual moment is just as sweet.

(Deviders by yizaicons)

[beta-adjacent]

Hi ^-^ I just wanted to say how happy I am to see an active miscecanis blog. I don’t really post about it but I’m miscecanis too, I’ve felt so for 7 or 8 years. I’ve always loved nesting even as a kid not knowing what the omegaverse was. My favorite nest spot I’ve made was in college I had a space above the built in closet in my dorm (sort of a cabinet) and if I climbed on my desk I could worm my way into the cabinet and I had a vantage spot of the whole room (had 3 roommates it was big) and a cozy spot with blankies and pillows that only I could reach (nobody else was small enough to fit in there or flexible enough to climb in). I’ve also always loved the idea of scenting, where I live people wear lots of fragrance so as a kid I would cuddle one of my mom’s scarves if I was scared, to smell it, and I sort of still do that with my best friend’s clothes (it’s not weird, she knows/doesn’t mind). Sorry this is sort of an unsolicited ramble I am just so happy somebody gets me :)

This just made me tear up a little 🥹 /pos

Thank you for sharing your story!! That nesting spot sounds so unbelievably comfy, and ugh yes, scenting is just a god-tier concept!!!

I'm happy I'm as active as I am (it's a blessing granted to me by summertime) but I'm not the only one here!!! It only feels right to mention some of the cool people I've met on this site, who've made me feel seen and welcome. @pack-the-pack and @pin3-vin3 have both been hella active recently and always make banger posts. @sunshine-omega, @moonlitomega, @alphabumblebunny, @omegapheromone, @vinnofthebluemoon, @feral-omega, and @liuwithheadcanons are just a few of many others who have made my experience on Tumblr an absolute joy.

Seriously, this community has been so kind to me, and I'm so happy to be a part of it. Even though I know e-packs our not our strongest suit, and most of us live in a state of casual hiatus, it still feels like we're here for each other. Like, even if I never hear from y'all again, the passion you've spoken into the world is still felt by me. And I'm really, really happy to learn that my passion has touched others too

[arcticsilver]

NEW BIG BOY INTRO

How many I'll do? That's for time to decide

Information

Hello, Hi, I'm Silver! Silly little artist guy that is constantly creating! I cosplay, draw, write, game, and more! I'm 19 and taken by my wonderful honey biscuit @its-fucking-draggo

Dos!

Interact in any way you feel comfortable! I'm not much for learning algorithms so if it gets out to you and you enjoy, that's all I hope for.

Feel free to redraw my designs! I love seeing interpretations however I do ask you credit me ^^;

Be kind, I'm fairly sensitive to negative comments however I don't mind criticism as long as you state that beforehand!

Use tone tags! If the tone is questionable, use tone tags

/j(joke)

/srs(serious)

/gen(genuine)

/pos(positive)

/neg(negative)

/lh(light hearted)

Credit me when showing my work! This also means don't use it for AI or you may have an unpleasant surprise...

Don'ts

Steal my work! Obviously dont edit out my signature(i sometimes forget so if you notice theres no "JJ Art" signature let me know please) and if I was an inspiration in writing or cosplay please credit me!

Don't bring up shit about CC!Wilbur/William, I'm fairly triggered by it because I'm a S/A Survivor to someone who used manipulation to keep me quiet

If you know where I live due to being a fellow cosplayer, please for the love of fuck don't dox my exact location(I do constantly state I'm a Texan critter so that's fine)

Do not color over my work to make it some other character or make fun of the character used in a /gen/neg way... I know this sounds silly but I've seen this happen to other artists and it's very disrespectful to the work they've put into it

Don't compare my work to yours(if you're an artist, cosplayer, or writer) whether your more or less experienced, I do not want to hear anything negative about your work or mine in that sense, as said before, critiques are fine but do not give criticism that cannot be fixed.

Taglist cus I also need a reminder to use them and what I had set for them

#my love <3 is @its-fucking-draggo

#CatGoBrr is @cats-thoughts

#ryemacncheeze is @ryemackerel

#ChocoStarMilk is @starrixle

#septiccesarsalad is @septic-salad

#vinegarjesus is @someone-named-rod

#pastelcucurucho is @pastelpurpled

#emilibrarian is @emi-writings

#jaybringsjoy is @jayysnotjoyful

#lilwarvet is my cat Mei Mei

#lilshitpooper is my cat Pearl

#weirdlookinsquirrel is my cat Susu

#hotdogdoggo is my dog Piper

#jaysmp - a silly little smp I'm on :3

#anon - will be used for anonymous asks or requests

#reply! - is for user asks or requests

#ArcticSilver / #art / #animation / #writing - Past works may or may not be actually what they are because but should be finished works in the future

#art help / #animation help / #writing help - I use it for helping me decide how I'm gonna get there but in the past I've used the ones above ^^;

#personal reblog - something i want y'all to look at again that's already on this blog or look at that was posted on my reblog account

Links

Main Carrd

Tumblr centric carrd

[bonesandthebees]

hey. it’s been a while :) not sure if you remember me but i just wanted to pop by and say that i will forever cherish your writing. your fics gave me a lot of comfort through a very dark time of mine, and reading about the silly fictional brothers made me feel a lot more excited and joyful in a world where i felt very lonely.

whenever i would read your stories, i couldn’t contain my very very dramatically fun reactions that i would say out loud to myself in my room (jumping up and down, screaming, crying, gasping, monologuing to myself, etc). i read so many different AUs and oneshots of yours and i couldn’t get enough! your work is so wonderful and i am AMAZED and how you can create such high-quality writing in a surprisingly short timeframe.

i loved clinic so much that i entered a 30 hour state of hyperfocus where i COULD. NOT. put it down. ruined my sleep schedule but it was so worth it!! and then i read it all again 2 days later. and then i read it AGAIN out loud to my friend over discord so he could enjoy it too :) i recommended world forgetting to a friend and it destroyed her (/pos). i kept recommending all of my friends your fics because they were all so wonderfully entertaining and had a level of quality that was hard to find elsewhere.

i loved clinic, world forgetting, stars, 17 hours, the vampire au, the mermaid au, and starman (?) (the horror one with the giant eye) and i’m sure there’s plenty more that are slipping my mind.

i’m currently in a place where i cannot decide if i’m even able to separate a content creator from his character. even the characters have been soured for me and it’ll be very tough to separate them. i hope i can, because they brought me so much joy in the past, and so did your writing :)

over the past year and a half or so i’ve been so lucky to be blessed with an absolutely wonderful girlfriend that i love very much, and i feel a lot less lonely and a lot more lighter. i’m more active in the real world and i’m doing more things that i love. because of this i’ve distanced from dsmp and unfortunately haven’t had enough time to fully understand qsmp (which is a shame because i love quackity and have been watching him quite literally since 2013 and he is very dear to me). but!! i still rant and rave about your stories to my girlfriend and i even got her to read clinic :)

ANYWAY… very long ramble hahah but all of this is to say that your work was very important in my life and even if i’m going to distance myself from this fandom, i will always love and cherish your writing!!! thank you for your labor of love and i won’t be forgetting about you anytime soon!!

i hope you’re doing well. take care of yourself!! have your favorite cookie!! sending hugs! <3

and ps, the scene where siren has his identity revealed is still one of my fav scenes in writing EVER and i still think about how beautifully tragic it was <3 i think about it a lot. u made me cry for like 45 minutes how dare youuuuuu hahah

I hope you know before I even read this ask I saw the url and immediately went "oh my god lostmellohi it's been so long I've missed them!!!" so, don't worry, I remember you very well and I'm so happy to see you here again!

it makes me so happy to hear how much you've enjoyed my writing over the years. hearing stuff like that only makes me more confident in my decision to not take down any of my stuff regardless of recent events. I never want to take away something of mine that has given you and others that much joy. these stories are mine first and foremost, but as readers they're yours too. they've given you so much enjoyment over the years and that can never be taken away from you.

I totally understand what you mean about being unsure if you'll be able to separate the cc and the character in the future. it's not an easy thing and right now I get the urge to wince every time I read wilbur's name, even if it's in the context of c!wilbur and/or a fic. I believe it'll get easier for all of us with time, so don't worry about it too much right now. it's only been a week since shelby's stream happened. feelings will settle.

congrats on the girlfriend!! I hope she enjoyed clinic lol. I'm so happy you've been doing better though and have been able to do more things that you love. enjoy that kind of stuff whenever you can. qsmp isn't going anywhere and you'll always be able to catch up whenever you have time.

thank you for this it genuinely made me so happy to read. wishing you the best for things in the future and I hope you take care of yourself <33

also, yeah, whenever I think back on the siren identity reveal I'm like damn I did pull that off really well huh. lmao so glad you enjoyed :)

[dailyanarchistposts]

UGL: Ok, let us start with the basic things like the project itself. What is it?

TSU: Okay, well, the scarlet underground’s got three parts of the project—the first part of course is the immediate mutual aid that we need to be using as a direct action for the rural community where we’re based. So what we’re doing is 1. spreading awareness, something the state shoould have done long ago aand because of which most people dont get why they need masks, etc 2. making and giving out free masks and 3. delivering products like rice, daal (lentils), soybeans and sanitizers etc to the poorest of the villages here, who are Lodhas and Santhals, indigienous peoples of India. After the lockdown is over and by the time it’s december we’re planning on building a community centre which will a ct as a school for permaculture, and also as a health clinic and legal aid that would be built in a land that the collective will buy together, and we’re planning to figure out the contours and dig swales to hold the rainwater and basically practic e permaculture there and the idea is that once the locals see the difference between permaulture and monoculture, they’ll be changing the way they grow plants too. The other bit is the other plan is to build a shallow well during december (or maybe even later, but before summer) because if the rains dont come then the farmers lose all their paddy and shallow wells will help them be able to harvest rice all year round. Okay, the last thing is to build another community centre in calcutta which is around 3 hours away, a sort of part library and part free hostel and soup kitchen, for the unemplyed and the homeless. It also gives us space to bring in volunteers let more people know about our permaculture project in jhargram, among other information that would be more political. Like there’s a sponge iron factory here and we’ll need to begin organising people here to fight them. The last time the leader of the protest was found hanging from a tree in the jungle. So yeah, it’s pretty dark. Now the thing is we need people to contribute as a show of solidarity and not charity—which most people obviously don’t get, so international groups like FAU from germany are helping us, and then there are comrades here who helped us too but they can’t really afford so much (even 10,000 rupees is a lot for us). I haven’t added the Calcutta plans there because we’re planning to do that once Flo and other comrades from abroad get here in december. Most of the TSU right now is just farmers, local workers, students and anarchists: all in all i would say 10 people, out of which 3 are in Calcutta right now. Hence everything is being done by the 7 of us at the moment, and another farmer, who’s a commie, wants to join so we’ll be talking to them soon about it. Next week we’re hoping to get enough funds go to Aulgeria which is an adivasi village, and begin our work with them.

UGL: So pretty much you are building a commune from the start and it’s a pretty good start. My second question is, how did you folks came up with this project? Did you have land from the beginning or had to purchase?

TSU: My family used to be liberal land owners until my grandfather became a commie, so we have land here which we bought from anglo-indians who were leaving during india’s partition and since my whole family is leftist, we’ve kept that praxis alive, which is why my mother wants to be a part of this too and doesn’t mind us working from here—in fact she’s full of ideas The land that we wish to turn into the commune is a literal forest—-it’s next to a forest reserve and is full of sal trees among other fruit trees etc, so there will be a lot of work to be done once that begins. But the main, immediate work right now is the covid-19 mutual aid drive, for which we’re raising funds. Yesterday the cops beat up and humiliated locals in the village for not wearing masks, for example. So right now it’s imperative that we give out free masks to as many families as possible and spread awareness about covid—--one of our comrade’s already made posters for it so that’s what we’ll be doing this week, printing up the posters and pamphlets and spreading them around along with the masks By next week if we get enough funds we’ll go to aulgeria, where we basically buy the rice they harvest and distribute it to thepeople and then also get them the rest of the products and soap and sanitizer, etc. We’ll document the whole thing too, so you’ll get to see the aid work once it begins

UGL: What is the name of the town your project’s taking place?

TSU: It’s actually a village, but it’s close to Jhargram. It’s within the jhargram district. This place is called Niribili, you can find it on google, my mother and father used to run it as a homestay (father died of covid last november). The village is called Garh Salboni. Anyway, until we get enough money to buy our own acres of land, we’ll have to use this land as our base, which is fine by the collective as well as the “owners” because of the similarities in ideologies

UGL: That’s pretty nice. How do the locals think of what you’re doing. Have you recruited any new members yet?

TSU: Well out of the 7 of us working here, 3 are locals and there’s another one joining. The local folk are pleased regarding our project—it’s the political parties within the villages that often try to say that the mutual aid work was done by them etc but this sort of direct action always seems to have a positive impact in my experience. There’s also another man called kabir who will possibly join us—i’m waiting to meet him once his work gets over in a few days. So yeah, we’re really trying to make this as local as possible, found that to be the best way to promote solidarity and the idea of autonomy.

UGL: Seems like your project is a flame of hope in a world of darkness. Do you cooperate with other collectives? Both on national and international level I mean.

TSU: We cooperate with FAU germany who has helped us a lot. IWW England hasn’t really helped, but when have the British ever helped Indians? Many anarchists, on individual level, cooperate with us, but it’s mostly been FAU who helped us a lot with funds; and on national level there are individuals that contribute through either work or funds but they aren’t many. We’re trying to be more in touch with Araj and BASO which are based in Bangladesh, but that’s still in its embryo as it were,but we haven’t had the opportunity as of yet to cooperate with anarchist collectives from Greece or Spain or Latin America.

UGL: Glad to hear the FAU is helping, do they plan on making a visit down there? As for the Bangla comrades, please tell me more about them. I know nothing about autonomia and anarchism in Bangladesh.

TSU: I don’t know much to be honest, but there are way more anarchist groups in Bangladesh (BASO is a syndicalist union), Araj I think is an anarchist co-op. Araj basically means Stateless in Bangla.

UGL: We should confederate and help each other. With this interview I plan on making Greek comrades learn of you. However geography also plays it’s role and it’s a good thing you came in contact with Bangla comrades. How about Pakistan though? All of us here would love nothing more than to confederate with your group! We’d love to know more about it too, and maybe we could visit and learn from each other in the future. Well I’m not very well versed with Pakistani anarchist groups—-the demonization of the people there is enough to shield what is really happening there. I’m sure there are groups there, but I’m guessing they have to be very secretive because of the State and also religious fundamentalism. A Pakistani anarchist once wanted to meet me, he had even arrived here but he was made to go to the police station every day and was basically harassed so much that he literally cried for a long time and just left for Pakistan. I’ve been in touch with Food Not Bombs in the Phillipines though, they’re very very cool and really figured out their own way of reaching out to peoplethrough punk concerts for example.

UGL: how will you proceed after completing the Kolkata project? Do you plan on creating a network of communes based on solidarity within India?

TSU: Yeah that’s our basic plan. So in much the same way we try to influence different people in cities through agitprop, seminars and volunteer work what anarchism and mutual aid really means, and then help them organise their own co-op or commune, which i think is important because doing it the first few times, you’ll fail for sure. But you’ll still learn so many things iut of it and bit by bit you can perfect your flow. If everything works out well then i’m hoping that by 2040 (when climate change will most definitely become extremely destructive, something we can’t even fathom as a species) that we will have these communes set together as a federation where we’re always cooperating and figuring out problems autonomously instead of hoping that the chief minister notices that your whole village is starving and devoid of any paddy. But yeah that’s just a dream until we manage to stick to our own plan to make a commune. I think once we start the community centre both in Salboni and in Kolkata, things will start flowing. We’re still trying to figure out where we can make money (as a co-op, to support ourselves) or if our production isenough. We’ll figure something out. Up til december none of this is going to happen, we’re only going to be working in villages in the jhargram district with food and supplies, free masks and hold awareness campaigns, etc.

UGL: I see a lot of similarity between yours and ours project, especially now that you’ve mentioned climate change. You earlier talked of co-ops farms and permaculture as far as I know Indian plains are pretty suitable for farming. Do you plan on starting more farms?

TSU: We love permaculture. That’s what we’re trying to do in the forest here! I’ve obviously never learnt it anywhere but I’ve been trying to learn about it and read about it, and I’ve practised with companion plants and some other tactics, it’s amazing how different permaculture can make your forest. Flo only told me that you’re green anarchists, so I gathered you were probably practicing permaculture, so yeah, I got pretty excited. I’d love to know more about what you do and about your farm and your experiences.

UGL: Well, I’m not an anarchist, I’m an autonomist that has been influenced by the anti-civ and green anarchists currents. The rest of the folk is mostly composed of green anarchist comrades. We’ve started working on the farms from early November and have good progress since then. Right now we’re waiting for the crops to be ready and a portion of them will be distributed among poor proletarian folk. Permaculture saved us a lot of cash and we’re working also on food forests and wood cabins where people can be hosted. We also practice animal herding, what about you?

TSU: I’m an anarchist, I’ve been heavily influenced by kropotkin, camus and goldman, and bhagat singh, who was an indian revolutionary. I’ve always been torn between red and green anarchism, because to me climate change has always been the biggest cause for radical change and the ones responsible for it are the capitalists. so i’ve worked wth MLs, maoists and we had our own zine and collective called Eyezine, after which there was Kaloberal Collective, which failed again, and then in 2020 we started People’s Solidarit Collective, which was a mutual-aid collective, which basically turned into The Scarlet Underground. So this project is a mixture of black and green and black and red, one could say. We’ve had some cows before, now we have lots of chickens and dogs. And elephants; Lots of them here now, to eat the mangoes and jackfruits.

UGL: That’s pretty cool. So you’ve got some past from which you can use the reputation to have the project grow in numbers and quality. Eggs, milk and cheese can be good and nutritious source of food for the poor folk. I see that you activities are pretty much like ours, rural-based. However, since you plan on expanding towards urban centers, how will you proceed there? We thought of creating vertical gardens on squats, but nothing more than that. How about you?

TSU: Unfortunately here in urban areas it costs a fortune to get a house with land to use. At best I think it will have to be an indoor community garden where we practice permaculture but on big plastic or clay circular vats. That way whoever enters the community centre leaves with some idea and maybe curiosity about permaculture.

UGL: What about squats?

TSU: Squats are difficult in Calcutta, they’re usually taken up by homeless people, however we could cooperate it with them and provide them with food. Problem is that it’s much harder to do your daily work because the police here will beat you up.

UGL: I see. Those squats in Calcutta, are they located in the slums? Is there a lot of police in the region?

TSU: Loads of them. There are a lot of protesters in the region tooyeah but they make those houses themselves in the slums the state does fuckall for them or any NGO.

UGL: We hope your project goes well. We will proceed with the confederation and let us hope that more collectives will join us into creating a global network of solidarity. Cheers to you comrade!

TSU: Cheers to you!

[jodilin65]

Written late last night…

I was woken up by thunder for the second time and it’s not even June yet! Doesn’t look like I’m gonna get much sleep on Sunday either. I have a bad feeling it’s going to be a bad storm season. This is getting to be too much like the old place only there it was traffic waking me up. When I got up at 8:00 in the morning to use the bathroom I noticed it was pretty dark out. I’d only been asleep for 3 or 4 hours. I got back in bed and right after I fell asleep - boom! No storm was even predicted so most of the time they don’t know shit. It took me a couple of hours to get back to sleep and even though I slept well for 5 or 6 more hours and got a good sleep score, I was exhausted. My body just can’t handle broken-up sleep anymore. As tired as I was, we ran out to Walgreens for treats. I managed to do some cooking for us too but that’s about it.

So Tom and I talked about moving to a “quieter” climate that wasn’t expensive like Cali or overly cold, and I talked to Becky in New Mexico since quieter usually means drier. I told her everything we like and don’t like about Florida. She lives in a tiny rural town near Las Cruces and about 40 miles north of Mexico. El Paso is an hour away where they have every specialist in the world, she says, and of course Las Cruces is closer. They’re only about 15 minutes away from stores and stuff like that, so it wouldn’t be anything like Maricopa or up on the mountain in Oregon.

She gave me a link to a realtor that helped her and her husband Kevin find their place. She’s got a 1660-square-foot manufactured home but I don’t see us being able to afford anything as big as what we used to have. It would probably have to be a dumpy old single-wide around the size of this place but to own both the house and the land and have someone around I know and have breathing space around us and not have to drive an hour to get to civilization might be a sweet deal. I don’t know her as well as I knew Aly but I know her well enough to say that she’s smart, reliable, and trustworthy. I would trust Becky alone in a room with my purse, the same as I would Andy or Jessie. Ah, Jessie. If we move, she’ll be disappointed but maybe we could shoot over and see her before we go. I just have to hope I can get up the energy to do all this!

She says the healthcare system there is good and the cost of living there is low. It’s quiet, easy living, she also says. It’s a liberal state and she says nobody cares about anyone’s “position” in life or shoves their religion down people’s throats and no one is interested in robbery.

Just an occasional LifeStar helicopter overhead, some barking when the javelinas are out, and a train that goes through the area. Boom car stereos are rare, there are no motorcycles close by, or anything extreme. She said outside they can hear donkeys and horses. I wouldn’t mind that or the train as long as the train didn’t shake the place or was louder than the sound machines I sleep with. That’s not the impression I get, though.

January until mid-February is cold, she said, which is how it is here. June, July and August are scorchers. The monsoon season is June 15 to Sept 30. I remember the monsoon seasons when we lived in Arizona. Those storms woke me up too but not nearly as much as the storms here do and the storm season here is a lot longer than monsoon season there.

No sonic booms but they do see “weird shit” in the sky. White Sands Missile Range is 40 minutes away and they do aircraft testing, but they don’t hear it.

They have trash and mail service so we wouldn’t have to get a PO Box like we did in Maricopa or burn our trash.

I told her that I don’t regret coming here and experiencing what it’s like to live here just like I don’t regret Oregon and California despite the rough times we had there, and I do like that it’s warmer here more than it’s not. But when you struggle with fatigue and you have two sleep disorders and you throw these kick-ass storms on me, it’s really throwing fuel on the fire.

Although I would expect some barking and maybe even some projects on some of the neighboring properties, I would love to be able to go to bed during the daytime not worrying about what neighbors 50 ft away or less might be up to that day.

I told her about the crazy drivers here and that the people in general aren’t very friendly.

If we ever do move it’s not going to be tomorrow or the next day. It might take a year or two. We’ve only got so much money to work with.

My only other concern would be its effect on my TMJ. It’s almost as high in elevation as K-Falls and that could make it worse, though I’d be willing to take a chance. I think the extreme cold affected it more than elevation.

I won’t miss this carpet but I’ll miss having furniture like this. The living room chairs may not be the greatest but it’s still nice having a complete household set of furniture. I’ll miss the bedroom set, the couch, and the kitchen set the most. I don’t see how we could take it with us but we’d eventually get new stuff.

Again, every place has its pros and cons. I just prefer to avoid those with major cons. Stealing my sleep is a big no-no. I’ll miss the warmer weather but the thought of moving back out west and adding another state to the list excites me a bit.

Another thing I wouldn’t miss is the mowers. No problem when I’m awake but when I’m asleep… there’s that stress of wondering and worrying if they’re going to wake me up or not. It’s especially stressful when I have appointments looming which is pretty much most of the time. I still don’t see us ever being able to afford to move but I’m definitely thinking about it and the idea kind of appeals to me. If we did move I’m going to wish I still had Galileo if we do move because they can be my doctors anywhere. Rhonda can’t.

Written today…

No storms disrupted my sleep last time around but next time around I’m not going to be so lucky. If that’s the case that will be three times in less than two weeks. However, there’s no way we can move. If we ever can it will be years from now so I might as well enjoy the many good aspects of Florida. At least the storm season isn’t year-round. The heavy traffic at the old place was. Also, this place may be small but it’s not a dump.

Becky gave me her address and I checked her place out in a VR app. I could see her dog sitting on the porch but I couldn’t see her sitting next to it because the railing was in the way. The area reminds me of Maricopa. Some well-kept homes but trashy in general. There are a lot of Mexicans there and even though it’s not politically correct of me to say so despite how true it is since it’s not what people want to hear, they’re not exactly big on neatness. I’ve lived with them enough to know this and it’s something I’ve seen with my own eyes.

Anyway, I think barking would be a definite problem there. She’s at the end of a culdesac and there isn’t much beyond it but that would be an issue no doubt if you were surrounded by homes. Becky treats her dog as a pet and part of the family because that’s what you typically do being from the East but in the West, most of them aren’t allowed indoors and the neighbors are the ones who have to deal with it.

I’ve been lucky tonight and last night. No helicopters and very few planes. The night before last I heard more helicopters than I usually hear in a month.

The cramping in the upper right stomach is still noticeable and earlier I had mild nausea. Thinking about what I’ve been eating lately, Tom and I suspect it’s because I don’t have a gallbladder. They did warn me that if I ate too many greasy foods, that could aggravate it, and I made us burgers earlier. Time to keep track of what I eat. I gotta be careful with chips too, because after having Tostitos a while back, I was nauseous. The Cheetos I got yesterday also made me nauseous. So the fucking gallbastard is still giving me shit from beyond the grave.

He’s given up vegetarianism because he says he feels better if he has some meat. He just hasn’t gone back to hot dogs which I guess is a good thing. I don’t know that he was necessarily eating healthier when he was avoiding meat because everything he ate was processed except for potatoes.

I’ve been wanting to see the Vicky White movie and the Lifetime people were kind enough to put it on LMN. I emailed them about a week ago and said I knew it was on the original channel and wondered when it would be on LMN. They said they would pass the word along that I wanted to see it and there it was when I logged in today! So I’ve got that to enjoy along with a suspense movie on Netflix. It’s a great movie so far even though it doesn’t have any dialogue. It’s called Monster.

I’m also watching the Ashley Madison docuseries. When the creators talk about why they created such a service I can’t help but think they’re so wrong but so right at the same time. Unless you agree to an open marriage up front, cheating is definitely wrong. No doubt about it. However, they’re totally correct whether we like it or not when they say that love and sex are two different things and no one’s attracted to the same person all their lives. You can love the hell out of someone and be totally devoted to them in your heart and your mind but as human nature has shown, you’re going to be attracted to different people throughout your life. Especially if you’re under 50, LOL.

I have decent energy today even though I did get up at one point thinking it was already Sunday and told Tom we forgot to do the laundry yesterday. When he reminded me it was Saturday and he was just waiting for me to get up, I told him to go ahead and do it because I didn’t expect to get back to sleep even though I got back into bed. Just beyond the back bedroom wall is the storeroom where the washer and dryer are and for some reason, this washer makes a loud bang when it changes cycles. However, I not only did fall back asleep but I never heard a thing either.

I’m scrambling to get as much done as I can today because I know I’m not going to have energy tomorrow. Not if the forecast is correct. So we changed Tinkerbella’s cage, I did some cooking, I folded the laundry after he washed it, I changed sheets, and I’ll run the dishwasher in a little while. So, typical household stuff.

Gotta hit the road tonight because I don’t expect to have the energy to do it tomorrow. I went through Silver Creek, NY and now I’m in Irving.

After I fell back asleep which didn’t take too long thanks to my comfortable bed, I had a lot of dreams. There was a dream about “Nervous” and him not liking me trying to dump him. I kept trying to push him out of an apartment I had but he kept opening the door and screaming at me. Finally, after slamming the door on him three times, he stayed away. A sense of loneliness and isolation then came over me but I knew I did the right thing.

Then I was in a large apartment building somewhere and I knew Tom in this dream. The old lady above us died and I was more bummed out about it for fear of what we may end up with above us since she had been so quiet than I was sad for her.

Then it was back to not knowing Tom. My parents were alive and I was at some kind of hotel. Outdoors, I watched these flying buses that would take off and land in the parking lot. When I went back into the building, I realized my purse was missing and I was relieved when I finally found it somewhere. However, it had been emptied out completely. A sense of panic came over me when I realized I didn’t have my parents’ number memorized to contact them because I always tapped their name when calling them without paying attention to the number. Then they suddenly appeared and I went running to my mother in tears like a child all over again telling her the contents of my purse had been stolen.

[anothershittyaccount]

When I first burned myself in November, it literally took like a month and a half to heal. Now that I know the magic of xeroform it takes a week or two Max to heal. Such an incredible product.

I plan to stop smoking during the week after Sunday but still smoke weekends. I will have the house to myself so I can just chainsmoke and burn in peace.

I dont know if I should keep the dogs or if she should take them. Could be nice to just be entirely alone, but it might be nice to have the company and cuddles of the dogs.

I tentatively have plans for this weekend but I pretty much want to cancel them. I just feel like the whole world is full of losers, myself included and why am I even trying.

I can't sleep. I took benadryl and a half of xanax and I'm just here. It's like 4am. I tried to masturbate for a while but felt too depressed. I asked her to fuck me with my dildo for a minute and she could barely do that so I stopped her and just carried on myself and went downstairs.

I just feel so unattractive to her and like a freak. She has explicitly stated she's not attracted to me so where is there to go from here.

Yesterday was the 15th. In November or December I said I would kill myself by then. I'm still in communication with my online drug dealer but am afraid of getting robbed so I've been hesitant to make a purchase. But I guess I'm comparison to the $163k robbed from her, a couple hundred is nothing.

Also still actively thinking about hanging. I have 3 bridges in mind but with the winter weather only 2 are tentatively accessible and one is very tall so I'm afraid I'd try and hang myself, the rope breaks, and I fall into the freezing water below and seriously injure myself but don't die.

I just want to die. It just seems so hard to actively kill yourself. Like every option has its downstairs and potential to fuck up. I don't want to suffer, I don't want to be a vegetable. I just want to be not here. I want to be dead.

I just don't know how life can go up from here. It feels like my entire life has been one big tragedy to the next. Just when I think things are alright, the next nightmare drops. Everyone lies, everything is a lie, nothing is real.

Wtf is the point.

Just got a "miss you" text. Such bullshit. Like if you even fucking cared about me you would have never stepped out. Like you would have thought about your actions and how they would fundamentally traumatize me. But you don't because your a self involved selfish demented POS.

And I guess I'm just the idiotic sidekick who apparently has no other purpose in life than to obsess about you and your unrequited love. Fml.