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takerfoxx · 6 months

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(After)Life: Why the Evangelion Pilots Should Be Left Alone

Hey, throwing this up here before I officially publish it in a couple days as both of a sort of preview and also for feedback. This is the first installment of that Evangelion story that I've been talking about, a sort of in-universe opinion piece to introduce the premise and themes and whatnot. But basically, here's the general idea: it takes place over the course of about a century and a half after End of Evangelion, where Third Impact turned everyone into orange juice (LCL, whatever) and made humanity into a hivemind. Shinji and Asuka emerge onto that beach in a post-apocalyptic landscape like in the movie, Rei herself later returns under very odd circumstances, and after many trials and tribulations they eventually form a throuple. However, as more and more people also emerge from Instrumentality and society begins to rebuild, they find themselves needing someone to blame, and the Eva pilots seem the perfect fit. And since Shinji, Asuka, and Rei are afflicted with a somewhat modified version of the Eva's curse from the Rebuild films (basically, can't age, can't die), they're stuck with it for a long time.

So, basically the idea is for it to be a series of short stories released out-of-order, each of them taking place at a random point of time and touching in with how the trio are doing at that particular moment and keeping track of how society is reacting to them, and vice-versa. So, this will be very different than the more serialized stuff I've done in the past, and a lot more manageable as a result. Any installments will come out whenever I feel like working on this. Anyway, here's the first installment. Let me know what you think.

Why the Evangelion Pilots Should Be Left Alone, by Alice Glocke

One-hundred and twelve years ago, the world died, and ever since then, we have been seeking someone to blame.

A world still reeling from the horrors of Second Impact. A world under constant invasion by extraterrestrial monsters beyond comprehension. A world fighting desperately against increasingly hopeless odds not just to recover, but to survive, to not go quietly into that good night, to plant its feet and declare into the face of God himself that it not only existed, but would continue to exist, and woe be to all that would seek its destruction.

In this, it failed, and the world died.

In many ways, the horrors of Third Impact are less of a scar and more of an open wound, one bleeding LCL into our waters. Yes, we continue to rebuild, and life continues to repopulate and flourish. But though the brief moment in which humanity ceased to exist was now over a century ago, we still have those among us who were forced to take part in Instrumentality, only regaining their thoughts, bodies, and sense of personal identity through sheer force of will, and who had to eke out any means of survival that they could on a dead planet.

In the years following Third Impact, as society finally began to reconstruct itself and climb out of the muck into something that was at least functional, humanity has had to grapple with how to respond to the collective trauma that every person on the planet now shared. There was a great deal of righteous anger and a cry for justice, but with the entire SEELE Council still out of reach within Instrumentality, those cries went unfulfilled. Yes, a small number of NERV employees were found and taken into custody, but those were found to have nothing to do with Third Impact, with only that organization’s highest-ranking members working in cohorts with SEELE. And those individuals also remained out of reach.

And then, everything changed. Fourteen years after Third Impact, we finally had someone to blame. The surviving Evangelion Pilots had been found.

In a way, finding them had been a relief. So much bottled-up anger, so much unresolved pain, and those responsible were beyond justice. Now, humanity had the perfect scapegoats. Essential key components of SEELE’s Instrumentality Project, masquerading as fearless defenders of Earth while working the whole time to destroy it. Shinji Ikari, known as the Third Child, and son of NERV’s infamous commander Gendo Ikari, the man perhaps the most responsible for enacting Third Impact. And Asuka Soryu Langley, Second Child, daughter of one of the Human Instrumentality Project’s designers. And while there had been many to decry pinning the blame on those two, that it was unfair to place the sins of the parents on their hapless children, all of those protests faded away when Shinji Ikari made his fateful confession. It had been he that had been given the choice whether or not to allow Third Impact to take place. And it had been he who had made the decision to end the world.

Everyone knows that image of two young teenagers being led from the UN Council by their lawyers and bodyguards, being pelted with garbage from an angry crowd. Whether they saw it in textbooks, had it sent to them by friends as a meme, or even were one of those that watched it live, this is perhaps the most infamous image of the New World. And for a time, most felt that the anger directed at those two was fully justified. Certainly, the UN Council seemed to agree, finding them both guilty of aiding and abetting in SEELE’s schemes to end the world, Shinji intentionally and Asuka unintentionally. The two were then incarcerated in a “secure facility,” and that was that.

Since then, the condition of the two pilots has mostly fallen out of the public’s consciousness. No appeals, no interviews, no word as to what they were up to or how they were doing. Every single “Where are they now?” op-ed has always ended up as a rewritten version of the same events, with each one ending with “Shinji and Asuka: still locked up,” with the only significant change being the number of years between the trial and the newest article’s publication.

Which isn’t to say that they’ve disappeared completely, but rather they seemed to have ceased to become actual public figures and become more of caricatures. They appear in comic strips and cartoons as grossly exaggerated versions of themselves, usually with the destruction of the world as the punchline. They’ve become symbols, memes, representations of the guilt laid upon their shoulders, little more than villains straight out of a children’s story.

Which isn’t to say there haven’t been voices of support over the years. Asuka especially seems to have garnered a small but vocal following, pointing out that she actually had nothing to do with the implementation of Third Impact, and so forcing her to share Shinji’s fate was perhaps unfair. The phrase “Asuka did nothing wrong” has come in and out of vogue, and in time it seems that she has become something of a symbol of the unjustly persecuted. Even Shinji himself, who for so long shouldered the majority of the blame for Third Impact, has seen a turnaround in how the public has treated him, pointing out that perhaps placing the full blame for what had happened upon a child soldier indoctrinated by an evil organization of adult men is a bit unfair.

However, none of these voices ever gained much traction. Once the trial was over, most of humanity’s attention was directed toward just trying to heal, and there was little room for the Evangelion Pilots.

But then, nine months ago, all of that changed.

The hacking of the UN security files and the subsequent leaks of not only their own data on the pilots, but also all of the files that they had managed to recover from NERV, has been nothing less than earth-shaking. Granted, little had been revealed about the Human Instrumentality Project and SEELE’s designs that the public didn’t already know, though the full extent of their machinations had been troubling. However, it was the data on the pilots that had been the most troubling, and revealed how little we truly understood about the Earth’s murderers.

For decades, Shinji Ikari had been painted as a willing participant in his father’s schemes, Gendo Ikari’s heir anointed and trusted lieutenant. But now we knew the truth. He was little more than a child forced into taking part in a war that he wanted no part in and suffered greatly for. We listened to the recordings of his screams of agony, his enraged curses and threats, and his pleas for help on behalf of himself and his fellow pilots. We read the psychological evaluations of his frequent depressive states, his attempts to run away, and the lack of support that he received. We learned of his own father’s cold treatment of him, and how Gendo Ikari would psychologically torture his son to get him back into the cockpit of his Evangelion.

And with all of this came the truth. Shinji and the other pilots were deliberately abused. Evangelions were at their most effective when bonded with a broken soul. The pilots were traumatized time and time again in order to increase their effectiveness in combat and denied help afterward. In light of this new information, we ourselves were forced to confront an uncomfortable truth. Shinji Ikari’s decision to cause Third Impact was less the act of megalomaniac enacting his father’s master scheme as it was that of a suffering child drowning in a sea of rage and torment, desperate to escape the Hell that his life had become.

Who among us as children has not wished that the world would end at one time or another? Shinji was simply unfortunate enough to have the means to do so thrust into his hands when at his lowest, and he had far more reason to do so than anyone ever could have imagined. And by all accounts, he regretted it immediately afterward.

There is no justifying what he did, no taking back the suffering that he caused. But at least now, people have come to understand why, and feel that he had been unfairly mischaracterized by history.

But that was far from the biggest bombshell to come out of that leak. Just as everyone was coming to terms with what we had learned about someone so long believed to be a monster, we discovered something that pushed almost all discussion of Shinji Ikari out of everyone’s minds.

Rei Ayanami had survived.

If there is anyone among the Evangelion Pilots subject to more discussion, demonization, and blame for what had happened, it is her. And why wouldn’t she be? An artificial human, created by a combination of human DNA and genetic material gathered from Lilith, the secretly imprisoned second Angel, literally created to serve as Lilith’s resurrection and the one to carry out the Third Impact.

Rei had fulfilled her purpose. She had bonded with Adam, the first Angel, and transformed into an abomination. Those who witnessed Third Impact spoke of a monster, an enormous pale-skinned woman embracing the Earth. And there was little reason to doubt this, as her gigantic corpse had been found just offshore of the ruins of Tokyo-3 and sits in the Human Instrumentality Research Center to this day, alongside the recovered remains of the Evangelions themselves, the corpses of the Angels, and the last remaining pool of LCL, containing the souls of those who decided to remain in Instrumentality. Surely, if anyone deserves to be painted as a monster, it is her. And it wasn’t as if she were around to protest how the history books characterized her, as she had perished immediately after destroying the world.

Except she hadn’t, at least not permanently. She had come back, and had been found alongside Shinji Ikari and Asuka Langley. The whole time when the UN had been making scapegoats of those poor children, the actual monster had been in their hands, and they said nothing.

However, calling even Rei a monster had proven to be more complicated than anyone could have expected.

The topic of Rei Ayanami’s rebirth is woven into the enigma of her existence. Much has been made of her reincarnation as Lilith, while next to nothing has ever been discussed about Rei Ayanami the person, Rei Ayanami the human. And why would there be? All accounts of her painted her as a cold, emotionless being, as befitting her alien origins. What more is there to discuss?

As it turns out, there is plenty.

We have long known of NERV’s barbaric and, dare I say, downright blasphemous experiments involving the human soul, how each of the Evangelions literally had the soul of a person close to its chosen pilot embedded into its neural network. For Shinji and Asuka, it was their mothers. But what of Rei? What of this artificial person, created from a test tube, born from a vat? What person could possibly fill that role?

As it turns out, it was herself.

Three years after her creation, Rei was accidentally killed by Dr. Akagi, one of the scientists working on the Human Instrumentality Project. Her soul was preserved, thanks to its artificial nature. However, with her death, NERV saw an opportunity. Only half of her soul was implanted within a fresh clone body, while the other served as the core of Unit 00, the first of the Evangelions.

With only half a human soul, Rei’s capacity to experience normal emotions and form human connections was severely stunted, resulting in the passive, almost robotic individual described by those who knew her. She was likewise groomed to be utterly obedient, valuing little for her own life while carrying out her orders with no hesitation. And yet, despite these handicaps, connections did form. Notes from her handlers speak of a growing friendship between herself and Shinji Ikari, one that had NERV’s command concerned. After all, should she somehow break free from their programming, it could threaten all of their carefully laid plans.

This was further complicated by her second death, when Eva 00 became infected by Armisael, the Sixteenth Angel, and was forced to self-destruct before the infection could spread. Again, Rei’s soul was retrieved, but with no Eva to implant half of it into, the entire thing was placed within her new body. And unwilling to risk having a Rei Ayanami suddenly experiencing the full range of human emotions with no prior experience controlling them in such a critical stage, NERV using psychiatric drugs, tranquilizers, and mental conditioning to keep her confined within her customary passive and pliable state, right up until the end.

The topic of Rei’s latest resurrection has also been heavily debated. Certainly, her own recounting of the event has been less than helpful. We know that NERV had a number of clone bodies in reserve should she die in battle, but they were all destroyed leading up to Third Impact. According to Rei herself, a new body was formed by a “her,” presumably Lilith. Another time she claimed to have created the new body herself. But regardless of the body’s origin, following Lilith’s death, her human soul somehow found its way back into the final clone body, where she was later found by Shinji and Asuka, and remained with them for the next fourteen.

Part of the reason that the outrage against the UN has found it difficult to be sustained is that there is a lack of agreement on what exactly to be outraged about, as so much was revealed that turned everything that we thought to be true on its head, causing more confusion than anger. But perhaps the most revealing aspect of the leaks were what has since been dubbed the Pilot Interviews, recordings of the interrogations of the Evangelion Pilots following their capture.

Shinji Ikari’s were certainly eye-opening. Throughout his questioning, he was revealed to be a man haunted by his actions, someone who spent years drowning in guilt and who had only just begun to break the surface. He spoke of his many failed suicide attempts, of begging both Rei and Asuka to put him out of his misery, and seemed completely resigned to whatever justice he was to be sentenced to, though at times a passive-aggressive streak would surface, especially whenever the topic of his infamous father came up. Still, if anything, it was these series of tapes that did the most to rehabilitate his image.

Asuka’s, on the other hand, were anything but passive. If anything, she was downright hostile. It was clear that she did not feel that her and her companion’s capture was in any way justified, and felt compelled to explain her disdain to her interrogators in full, and often very colorful, detail. Nor did she feel the slightest bit remorseful for any part that she had to play in NERV’s atrocities.

There has been some debate if her attitude was warranted, with her defenders pointing out that she was correct, that she hadn’t actually had anything to do directly with Third Impact, while others claim that given the circumstances, her behavior reeked of haughty entitlement.

However, all of that was completely overshadowed by the third set of interview sessions, that of Rei Ayanami.

If Shinji’s were regretful and Asuka’s volatile, then Rei’s were downright unhinged. A far cry from the serene, almost emotionless person that she was said to be, this Rei was fully out of control, at times exploding with anger, screaming curses and profanities and death threats so detailed that they seemed less threats as they were expressed intentions that she would have carried out were she able. Other times she would collapse into a blubbering mess, wailing and pleading for forgiveness. Other times she would enter into a catatonic state, seeming to retreat within herself and not respond to any stimuli whatsoever. And still others times she would sink into a full depressive state, unable to respond with anything more than a few whispered, one-word answers, while frequently asking for death.

Certainly, the tapes of Rei’s sessions were disturbing, and to this day no one seems to know what to make of them. Is she truly the monster that she’s made out to be? An innocent victim? Nothing on those tapes seemed to indicate either way.

However, Dr. Anno of London-2 University seems to have what I feel to be the most likely answer. Rei was someone who grew up as an incomplete person. With half of her soul locked away in a gigantic bio-mechanical abomination, she was kept from experiencing the full range of human emotions, and thus never learned how to control her feelings when those emotions were returned to her. She then spent the next fourteen years thrust into a harrowing survival situation, where her only two points of human contact weren’t exactly the finest examples of emotional stability either.

However, as different as the three pilots’ reactions to their interrogators were, there is one thing that united all three: a fervent, almost desperate concern for the well-being of the other two. Rei was the most overt, with her episodes of rage especially largely spent demanding to see Shinji and Asuka and making graphic threats should any harm befall them, but Shinji and Asuka also frequently pleaded to be reunited with each other and Rei. It is clear that whatever their relationship had been during their time actually piloting the Evangelions, the fourteen years that they had spent together had formed an extremely close bond.

What followed next, we all know. Shinji and Asuka’s capture was made public, with no mention of Rei. Those two were then put on trial before the UN Council and found guilty, with the last time that the world saw them was them being led through a jeering crowd toward the waiting transports. And from there, they were to be taken away, never to see the light of day again.

However, we now know that the trial was, at least in part, a façade. An act. Almost a stage play. A deal had been struck with Shinji Ikari and Asuka Langley: take the fall for the Third Impact, and you will be reunited with Rei. And then the three of you will be taken somewhere safe to live out your days in peace. The world needed a scapegoat, and it was to be them. Naturally, they agreed.

At this point, the tide had fully turned in favor of the unfairly maligned Evangelion Pilots. Even Rei was starting to be treated with some measure of sympathy. But it was what happened next that fully won over people’s hearts.

As I said, we all have the image of Shinji and Asuka being led away from the trial burned into our minds. The sorrow on Shinji’s face and the resentment on Asuka’s. The featureless helmets of their bodyguards. The trash flying through the air, hurled by the angry crowd. But what nobody knew until now was what happened when they reached their destination, and when they were finally reunited with Rei.

The nature of the relationship between Shinji Ikari and Asuka Langley has, like everything else about them, been hotly debated, though it has been commonly accepted that they were lovers. And it was this moment that definitively proved that assertion, but with a new wrinkle: not only were Shinji and Asuka romantically tied, but Rei was equally involved with both of them.

It feels horribly gauche to comment on such an intimate moment, especially since it was no doubt intended to be private, but I feel that it was this moment that the world fully realized how cruel those grossly exaggerated portrayals in our media have been. These were not monsters. These were not villainous masterminds. These were people. People that loved one another, people that were willing to shoulder the blame for history’s greatest tragedy in order to protect one another, people that gave up everything just to be with each other. Yes, they had done terrible things, and yes, they should bear that responsibility. However, it is now clear that they are far from the monsters that history has deliberately painted them out to be.

But of course, it was not enough to completely upend everything that we had thought that we had known the Eva Pilots. It was not enough to smack us with the truth of Rei’s existence or her humanity. We were then confronted with perhaps the strangest revelations of them all.

And that was that the Evangelion Pilots were almost certainly still alive.

One hundred and twelve years have passed since Third Impact, and though people living past a hundred is not unheard of, it is still exceptionally rare. However, even before the leaks, people have pointed that despite the fourteen-year gap between Third Impact and the pilots’ capture, Shinji and Asuka still looked fourteen, when they ought to be in their late twenties. Was this the result of piloting an Evangelion? Some Faustian deal made with Lilith? A result of NERV’s experiments, perhaps?

Whatever it was that kept their youth, it persisted even after their incarceration. Shinji, Asuka, and Rei lived on under the watch of the United Nations for another eight years, and none of them so much as aged a day. What is more, tests ran on the pilots showed that their cells lacked any sort of molecular decay. Quite the contrary, their bodies stalwartly resisted any sort of damage at all. Any wounds were swiftly healed, any diseases immediately snuffed out, with even complete brain death being nothing more than a temporary inconvenience. A rather disturbing but revealing file revealed that all three pilots had attempted suicide a number of different times during the first few years following Third Impact, with Rei Ayanami especially taking painstaking notes on the various methods that she employed and their effectiveness, which was none. There was some speculation as to whether this strange regeneration would persist in the face of total disintegration, but no one was willing to give the go-ahead to check.

Regardless, the case was clear. Whether it be an undeserved blessing or an ironic curse, the three Eva pilots had been afflicted with some sort of immortality, frozen forever in time from the moment of Third Impact. As such, despite the decades since, they are no doubt living today, unchanged from those historical photos.

Unfortunately, there seems no way to actually check, as they are very much gone. As stated before, eight years into their incarceration, they simply vanished without a trace. A thorough, yet discrete investigation into the matter took place, during which a conspiracy sympathetic to the pilots’ plight was uncovered, with a number of UN staffers close to the pilots found to be complicit. However, no one could say where the pilots were now, as their point of release was known only to a small few, and deliberate effort was made not to keep track of them after they had been released.

Which means that Shinji Ikari, Asuka Soryu Langley, and, perhaps most unsettling, Rei Ayanami, the three most controversial figures of the last century, are currently loose somewhere in the world. Perhaps they are wandering the forests of the Americas, the deserts of Africa, or perhaps even returned home to Japan. Perhaps they took on new names, disguised their appearances, and are now living in some suburban home somewhere, or returned their old life from before incarceration and joined one of the many refugee camps in one of the cities slow to recover. They could be in a small Swedish village, in a cabin in the Australian outback, in a treehouse in the Amazon jungle, or any one of the literally millions of other points on the map.

Naturally, there has been much talk about finding them again, some wishing to make amends and publicly make up for the blame that they had been forced to shoulder, others feeling that they still had not repaid their debt to society and should be returned to imprisonment. And there are still others that do not care for either side, but instead insist that they remain a clear and present danger, that more was changed about them than granting them eternal life, that they are inhuman monsters fully capable of ending the world again and need to be stopped. But whatever the motive, something almost everyone agrees on is that they do need to be found.

And I am here to offer up a dissenting opinion. Regardless of whether you love them, hate them, feel bad for them, or feel threatened by them, the Evangelion Pilots should be left alone. This, I feel, would be best for everyone.

Whenever the exploits, positive or negative, of the pilots are brought up, there seems to be a sort of hierarchy to the degree each one is discussed. Shinji seems to be the one brought up the most, as he is still unquestionably the trigger-man of Third Impact. Asuka comes next, given everyone’s complicated feelings toward her and her swaths of supporters. After that is Rei, who, even before her survival was discovered, still occupied a very contentious place in history as the monster who directly ended the world. And then there is Kaworu Nagisa, perhaps the greatest enigma of them all, a half-Angel/half-human artificial being like Rei, created specifically by SEELE as a countermeasure to any possible treachery on NERV’s part, but was killed by Shinji Ikari before his plans could come about, and yet seems to have played as vital a part in Third Impact as Rei, but by the same token, apparently did not see resurrection like she did.

But there is a fifth name that is often forgotten in those discussions, a fifth Evangelion Pilot. And that is none other than Touji Suzuhara the Fourth Child.

It is not that Touji is totally unknown, but he exists in the public consciousness as a sort of footnote, a trivia question at best. Though he was selected as a pilot and given an Evangelion of his own, his Evangelion became possessed by Bardiel, the Thirteenth Angel, during its first test run, leading to its destruction. And though he survived, Touji was critically injured in the process, and with no Evangelion to pilot, he quietly left the program to fade out of history.

In a way, Touji was perhaps the luckiest one of them all. The early destruction of his Evangelion protected him from having to participate in the mentally harrowing battles against the Angels, and he was spared of being an active participant in Third Impact. Even afterward, he was part of the first wave of people to emerge from Instrumentality, even reuniting with most of his family and many of his friends, going on to live about as full of a life as one could in those desolate circumstances. And while the tides of history have mostly washed over him, some effort was made to locate him. During Shinji and Asuka’s trials, once it was discovered that he was among the refugees recovered from Tokyo-3, there were multiple news outlets attempting to seek him out for interviews. However, they were far too late, as he and his family were long gone.

And I know all of this, as Touji Suzuhara was my great-grandfather.

I have very little memory of Touji. Though he lived much longer than most, he at least was spared the immortality that afflicted the other pilots and passed away when I was six, and what little I do recall about him paints a picture of a quiet, reserved old man. However, in interviewing various members of my family, I was told of someone who made every effort to flee his past but was unable to fully shake its shadow. I heard stories of bullying and harassment in those early refugee camps, of the other survivors trying to blame him and his family for what had happened, much as Shinji and Asuka would be publicly blamed later. It got to the point that as soon as they were rescued and carried away from Tokyo-3, his whole family changed their names and fled, disappearing into a still-chaotic world to find a place where nobody knew them.

In time, they succeeded, eventually settling in Austria. Though they had nothing and did not even know the language, that mattered little as very few of their neighbors had much either, and they were far from the only immigrants wandering in. There, they were able to blend in, carving out a niche for themselves and building something resembling a life, and no one ever discovered their connection to history’s so-called greatest monsters.

But even so, my great-grandfather never forgot. Though he never neglected his family and tried his best to provide for them, everyone that I spoke to made him out to be a broken man, someone who had lost the light in his eyes, who would smile very little and always seemed to be lost in his own thoughts. It was forbidden to speak to him of the time before Third Impact, and the very few times he did talk of it, it was from the viewpoint of someone who never truly left Tokyo-3, haunted by ghosts.

Touji might have been forgotten by history, but he bore his scars. Unfair blame was placed upon my family’s shoulders for what had happened, and we know all too well what it is like to be made scapegoats by the those who need someone to blame for their suffering. And though I have never met Shinji Ikari, Asuka Soryu Langley, or Rei Ayanami, and know about as much about them as everyone else, I at least have some measure of understanding of how unfairly they’ve been characterized. And I am sure that they desire validation about as much as they deserve further condemnation, which is to say, not at all. As such, I feel that the kindest thing to do would be to just let them be. Wherever they are, leave them alone to seek their own peace. Because I assure you, they have paid for their sins in full. They pay every day, remembering their part in the previous world’s death.

And to those who still think them a threat, who still believe that they possess the power to once again end the world despite no evidence to back that up, consider this: they have had ample opportunity and reason to wield that power, and yet never have. As such, perhaps it would be best not to provoke them?

No matter how you feel about the Evangelion Pilots, I see little that can be gained by seeking them out. They have taken more than their fair punishment, and would likely shun any reward. And as the descendant of one of their number, I say, let my great-grandfather’s companions be and move on. We have all suffered enough.

#neon genesis evangelion #(after)life #fanfic #shinji ikari #asuka langley soryu #rei ayanami #toji suzuhara #asurei #asushin #reishin #asureishin

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cherrycherish · 4 months

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I want you to think about someone massive - belly stretching for dozens of feet; so large that they cannot move, but all of their needs are taken care of by others. Are they the last fertile person on Earth, the burden of repopulation resting solely on their shoulders? A pred who eats a whole town in single sitting? Someone who has unbirthed many, many people over the course of their life, and continues to add new additions?~

(I'm blending these options together, with a lil bit of sci-fi 💞)

Urso groaned as his whole body seemed to quake from the kicking of his pups, "Ahhh, I think it's nearly time..."

"You sure they're not just hungry, darling?" His lover purred, watching the movement of the pups.

"I literally just ate." He pointed to the peak of his swell, where some prey were clearly shifting around in his gut.

"Give it a few minutes, we don't want to get everyone riled up too soon." Lyra rubbed at one of the pup's elbows that was clearly jabbing Urso from within.

Urso moaned and leaned back, trying to get comfortable with his truly massive belly swollen out before him. He'd been enjoying life as an immobile broodmare for a long time, and had grown used to being at the mercy of his ever demanding pups.

Many many many years ago Urso had been just as human as everyone else, but for reasons beyond humanity's comprehension, energies began to change in humans. It seemed humans were the only ones affected by what was deemed a "time shift". Certain things in humans were too fast and others too slow, and nothing was consistent. Some had hearts that beat too fast and died quickly thereafter, some had skin that all but shed non-stop leaving them raw constantly, though most were sexually shifted, many would be quickly struck with sexual desire and then nothing, leaving people very rarely able to procreate, and most unwilling to risk the possibility of a child growing inside them in a few hours or a few years. As much as people feared being too fast, some were too slow, slow to think, slow to move, slow to breathe. Urso hadn't discovered what he was affected with, everything seemed normal, though he knew something was either far too fast or slow.

Whatever caused the time shift was never discovered, there were theories, but nothing concrete. Along with the change in time, some people began to see things that were previously unseen, Urso was among those lucky few. He was terrified at first but upon realizing that the odd entities did little more than acknowledge his presence, it wasn't too difficult to navigate.

The only time an entity spoke to him, it was some sort of wish granter, a genie or a fairy or something, notoriously untrustworthy, but with the state of things Urso couldn't exactly refuse. So many societies had collapsed into chaos, turns out humans don't handle an inability to enjoy sex well at all. What did he need to wish for in order to have some semblance of normalcy and safety?

He of course tried to wish for things to go back to normal, to undo the time shift all together, but the creature had refused. It didn't explain what the limitation of the wishes were which didn't help.

Ultimately, Urso could only wish for the ability to bless people with children that were unaffected by the time shift.

The spirit didn't refuse this, and with the wave of a hand they were in a beautiful open field, another wave of its hand and a huge stone building appeared amongst the flowers. Then it was gone. Urso, with no clue where he was or what to do, could only go into the odd building and hope to find an explanation.

It was a massive structure, like a palace, and was well stocked with food and medicines and many of the luxuries that had disappeared with society's collapse. The giant library looked like it would take years to fully look through, and much of it appeared to be contents about survival and life skills. As he finished looking around the entire place, returning to the biggest room inside, he still had no idea what he was meant to do exactly.

Then a group entered the place, quickly running into Urso.

"Is this place yours?" The man who looked to be leading the group asked. He was tall and rugged looking, long dark hair, muscles, tan skin, he looked like an actor.

"Uh, yes, I would say so."

"We've been sent here to help you with your wish." He held out his hand which Urso shook readily.

"I'm Urso. And you are?"

"Lyra. Nice to meet you."

He was introduced to the group and though he was still uncertain what he was meant to do, showed them around the place. Soon they were working together to make things more livable in what they were now calling home, saving seeds from their food stores and growing new food, taking the long trail to the nearest town to share their supplies, which through some magical means always replenished overnight. It seemed that the palace was nearly frozen in time, barely crawling forward at all, meaning those living within were effectively free from the time shift as long as they were inside. It wasn't long before more people joined them, growing their numbers and developing an odd culture of their own together.

Along with a melting pot culture, Urso also found himself receptive to Lyra's flirtations. The two were even better at leading together. As they had an unending supply of food, it didn't surprise anyone that they all looked healthy, Urso was happy that his wish seemed to include benefits. Their clear well-being attracted more people over time, and it seemed as more people lived there, the stockpile only grew.

As he was walking through the library looking for something to read he found an old tome that inexplicably fell off the shelf closest to him. It was full of information on bizarre magic, depicting all kinds of mind boggling feats. He tried showing it to the others, but it seemed they all lacked the eyes to see the unseen and couldn't read a word of it.

Pouring over the old tome for days, Urso found what he needed to do at last. Painting a series of glyphs on his skin and reading aloud the chant from the pages, his body began to change right before his eyes. No longer merely healthy, Urso was growing fat, moaning as he finished reading the chant and his body swelled wider. Quickly it became impossible for him to hold himself up, his muscles unable to lift such sudden weight, and he was stuck sitting on his widening rear.

"This isn't too terribly big..." He muttered as the growing finally stopped, he could probably move with some help. His body felt huge, but pleasurable. The soft skin, the stretch marks, the jiggle, it felt right.

"Lyra!" He called, hoping that someone would hear him through his door. He probably should've asked for someone to help him with this strange ritual. "Lyra! Anybody?"

He heard hurried footsteps before his door flew open.

Lyra stood in the doorway dumbstruck, eyes looking over the much larger man, "Are... Are you okay?"

"Yes, but I can't move. Could you give me a hand? There's a spell for weightlessness in that book there, but I can't reach it."

By the end of the day Urso was waddling about the palace, Lyra practically glued to his side.

"Just what were you thinking doing that alone? What if I hadn't heard you? What if something had gone wrong?"

"I'm perfectly fine, and you did hear me. Everything worked out, didn't it?"

"Was this what you were wishing for?"

"You didn't know before you came?"

"No. I just knew we had to come here."

"I wished for a way to give people children that didn't have the time shift."

"And what does that have to do with you getting so big?" Despite his less than polite choice of words, Urso could see the desire in his eyes.

"Well, it's a requirement to make my wish happen. I've got all the spells I'll need to make this work, but first we should explain it to everyone, let's have a meeting."

Urso explained to the others in the encampment what his plans were, and that he'd need sixteen others to complete the spell, eight willing and eight unwilling. Once he explained what the others would need to do in order to complete the spell, eight people readily volunteered, much to Urso's delight.

Eight other people were dragged to the palace while Urso set everything up in the massive central room they'd be performing the spell in. The people of the encampment bowed down before Urso as Lyra fed him each of the eight outsiders. These sacrifices were all kicking up a storm in his stomach but it was a thrilling sensation. He felt so full and had to gulp so hard to swallow them all, and yet it felt so good once each of them was inside.

"Now for the fun part." Urso smiled as he approached the eight volunteers, lowering his wet cunt onto the first one in the row, the spell he'd applied to his body allowing him to stretch to accommodate the sheer size.

The combined wriggling of the prey in his gut on top of the shifting volunteers being pulled into his womb was ecstacy. The glyphs painted on him glowed as his body accepted all eight of his new pups. He still felt positively gravid, belly stretched around all sixteen of them, it seemed his weightless spell was wearing off.

Lyra helped him get settled on a giant cushion before going to find some cream for his lover's over stretched skin. Urso could only sit there in bliss, his mind spinning with plans.

The powerful magic required eight willing volunteers to act as a harness to Urso's magic, from within his body he could steer their excess energy to others to form healthy pregnancies in anyone near him. The eight sacrifices in his gut were giving him the energy to make such a sudden transformation safely.

The pups inside his womb never regressed over the years, in fact they grew quite plump inside his spoiled body, and would eagerly move about within him whenever they got hungry or it was time to transfer their excess energy into others. Over the years, more people heard about the "fertile palace", migrated to it and found themselves well fed and heavy with children that would be free from the time shift. Some had no desire for children and were happier serving Urso or being fattened up and consumed to feed his huge swell. It was discovered that his milk was good at healing sicknesses and soon he was almost always attached to a pump.

Urso was content as a fertility conductor, planting healthy pregnancies into willing worshippers wasn't difficult work, and he enjoyed watching everyone grow. The children born in the palace were healthy and happy and had no trouble with the time shift. If he could've jumped for joy when it was first confirmed, he would've, the best he could manage was jiggling with delighted laughter.

"Hmm, Love, I think it really is time... Urp!" All the eager kicking of his pups along with his recent meal was a lot of sensation all at once, despite how huge he'd gotten, it wasn't any less intense now than it had been in the beginning.

"Alright, let's get everyone ready." Lyra opened a door and several naked worshippers made their way into the room, slowly approaching their benefactor's mountain of a belly. His belly towered over even tall people, and seemed to stick out so far, Urso couldn't see past it and his globe breasts hardly at all, but he didn't mind. This was what he wanted to be, after all.

One by one people approached and pressed themselves against Urso's huge body, as he directed energy into each of them they began to swell with brood and milk. Each one was nicely round as they waddled to an area of cushions to catch their breath. Urso could see that some were going to have multiples and others heavy singles, the energy he'd placed in them choosing randomly how many they'd carry.

As the last of the eager worshippers were filled with young, Urso felt his own pups settle inside him finally.

"Whoo, you boys finally tucker yourselves out in there?" He asked quietly, giving his heavy form a rub.

Lyra gave his belly a kiss before meeting his lips passionately, "Are you gonna fill people up long after the time shift is fixed?"

"I don't see why not to. Even once the time shift is gone, plenty of people will still want to be filled with babies." He smiled as his little ones seemed to finally go to sleep, "Besides, I can't let these pups out, this is where they belong."

"What if I told you that there's apparently another influx of worshippers arriving within the week." Lyra's eyes burned with lust.

"They'd still take a bit of time to settle in, get a bit fat, then I'm sure we could fill them up too. You like watching me fill everyone up."

"I do. I'll dote on you and these pups until the end of time. Even if everyone else leaves, I'm staying and tending to you and the pups. Now," Lyra kissed one of his chins, "It's time for dessert. You worked hard filling all these people, you've earned a reward."

"I love you." Urso grinned, tears pricked in the corner of his eyes, "You and the pups are the best part of my wish."

"I love you too."

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mysticstarlightduck · 4 months

Text

Magic System, But Badly Tag! (1)

Thank you so much for the tag @cowboybrunch (here)!

Rules: Explain the magic system of your current WIP as poorly as possible. Bonus points if you use bullet points.

Let's talk about the magic system of Song of Thorns (:

Elemental

ATLA vibes but medieval

someone really should keep an eye on the Initiates - these angsty teenagers with a god complex should not be left unattended

Powers range from "Look, I can light a candle with the tip of my finger, isn't it neat?" to "I CAN CONTROL THE STORMS, FEAR ME" and it is complicated

Lesson No. 1 - Don't trust the nice instructors on the weird-looking trial maze or you will die = STREET SMARTS

who cares about reading all those ancient tomes, let's improvise in the middle of an untamed wilderness or ocean brimming with wild magic, now that's a good idea

Animus Codex

soul magic with a celestial's blessing

can weave fates, lives, and entire existences with a series of secret runes on a specific set of cards/tablets

a select group of people know what tf is going on with this magic but everyone is too afraid to really ask

rune casting requires ancient magic components that definitely are anything but safe

either the celestials loved this civilization way too much or hated it with a passion

Sanguinex Arts (human only)

Lazy human royals really wanted to be vampires but didn't want to transform themselves and made it everyone's problem

"Can I copy your homework?" "No, absolutely not -!" "Too late already did it."

A cheap knockoff of something beyond mortal comprehension created by an insane set of human sorcerers who could not give less of a fuck

"I think I understand how they do it" - they did not, in fact understand how it was done

Feast your eyes on the eldritch abominations and trauma inducing shite created by human stupidity at its finest

A distortion of all that is moral and decent, used by the royals to expand their lifespans and oppress those who do not have access to their power

A generally bad time

Traditional Hemomancy (Vampyr/Fey only)

an ancient Vampyr tradition, tied to their very existence (and which was cheaply copied by humans to create the Sanguinex)

"General rule of thumb - do not piss off a vampire who has something or someone to protect, unless you fancy seeing how your insides look on the outsides"

Create & Destroy, Life & Death - this magic can heal or kill and is connected to the balance of nature

Blood Magic mixed with Matter Manipulation

"Roses are red, violets are blue, if the moon turns crimson you'll die soon" - a lesson some characters in this book should've learned before venturing further into this land

generally chill and laid back sorcerers who really don't want to have to use their powers to hurt people and just wanna have a good time

Alchemical Sorcery

Fucked Around and Found Out, Special Edition.

Potions slowly change you to be able to cast magic but it's fine because you know what you're doing. Hopefully.

Chemical components and suspicious magical ingredients create unforeseen creations = chemistry magic

You are cursed with the knowledge you wish you never had

Need to go to an elite academia to get a certificate permission in case you blow stuff up with your alchemy

Let's shape the very matter of existence after chemistry class 101

Melodis Mortem (forbidden)

"The Song of the Dead" - just a fancy name for a bunch of academia dropouts practicing off-the-book necromancy in a cult.

Let's raise your great-grandpa from beyond the grave because what could possibly go wrong- and he is now a murderous ghoul. Yeah, my bad. We'll do better next time.

Necromancer bards

All these books, guidelines and bloodied ritual circles might just be a way of hiding the fact they don't know what tf they're doing and are relying on lucky improv most of the time.

🎶Spooky scary skeletons send shivers down your spine🎶

"Well, well, well if it isn't the Consequences of my actions."

Mechana Ignis (elven only, secret)

combustion magic

steampunk/solarpunk elf society

gunpowder/"Sunpowder" go brr

"Nah, we ain't sharing this with you lunatics, bruv. This is our magic that goes boom and pew-pew on command. Not yours, nuh-uh, you're too fucking crazy to use it responsibly."

elves bored with eternity decide to do cool science stuff to pass the time and the world isn't ready for it

Tagging: @sleepy-night-child, @kaylinalexanderbooks, @smol-feralgremlin, @oh-no-another-idea, @littleladymab, @little-peril-stories

@the-ellia-west, @winterandwords, @cowboybrunch, @eccaiia, @sarahlizziewrites, @illarian-rambling

@leave-her-a-tome, @writernopal, @anyablackwood, @unstablewifiaccess, @forthesanityofstorytellers

@i-can-even-burn-salad, @cakeinthevoid

@lassiesandiego, @thepeculiarbird, @clairelsonao3, @memento-morri-writes, @starlit-hopes-and-dreams and OPEN TAG

#wip song of thorns #writers on tumblr #writerblr #my wips #writers #my characters #my writing #character writing #writeblr #writing #magic system but bad #tag games!

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magpod-confessions · 4 months

Note

I absolutely despise when I see a fic written from the POV of the distortion. Either they've completely missed the entire point of the spiral, or the story will be entirely unreadable. Why do that to yourself? Just. Don't write Distortion POV. They're supposed to be beyond comprehension. No one is gonna be able to deliver a story from the POV of something that's very existence is AGAINST human comprehension.

Also, for that matter, I don't like when Fics turn The Distortion into some nice friendly being. Or Human Helen. She was a canonical tory. Cmon guys.

#no yea agree i get this #magpod #tma #the magnus archives #magpod confession

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tam-ezrac · 2 months

Text

[Re:conceptualizing LoR and LCB Systems] Part 2!!

Part 1 - For convenience

My procrastination strikes again, tho this time it's only a month. In that time I realized that, I'm not making a game, I don't need to worry about every detail, as long as it's believable, you guys can fill in the details.

That means I can be both John Limbus AND John Ruina!! Let's fuckin GGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

also I'm separating all this in multiple parts before combining everything into a mega post on Reddit, so look forward to that.

Partie 2: Identities, E.G.Os & Panic

Here is the reference image for your sanity, looks cool right?

–Keypage/Core ID

Your bread & butter equipement for your Librarian/Sinner(I'll refer to them as Nuggets from now on), obtained either from the Gacha/Book Burning or as story rewards.

They determine your HP, TP, Speed range, Weapon Resistance, Sanity and what Core Skills you have.

They come in 3 main Rarities with 2 extra ones, which are:

Base(0): Default ID for every Nugget, most of the stats are determined by the skills & passives it is equipped with, or story progression

Ain(0̸): Filler IDs, cannot be equipped as a Keypage, but does provide general skills and passives for an associated faction

Soph(0̸0̸): Can be used as a Keypage by all Nuggets, generally not the strongest or most unique IDs but provide a good support for other IDs

Aur(0̸0̸0̸): Core part of most teams, can only be equipped by a select few, usually has a unique gimmick or playstyle and teams are built around them

Unique(✦): Reserved for select few like Colors/EGOs/Distortions, Deck cannot be changed and you can only bring 1 Unique per team

They can also be Levelled up and Uptied, but I'm leaving it to your discretion for how that works.

–Core Skills

Are the minimum skills that an ID needs in order for it to work. By default the skills that are associated for that ID are equipped but can be swapped out if they met the requirement.

Ex: W-Corp ID(s) would have Core Skills that gains and or use charge but can be swapped out for those that do the same.

–Skills

The details can be found in Part 3 but the general gist is:

You can equip up to 9 skills(incl. Core)

They come in 4 rarities: Paperback(no Sin Affinity), Hardcover(S1), Limited(S2) and Object D'art(S3)

You have an infinite Defensive Skill associated with your Keypage and may gain more depending on what you have equipped

–Passives & Attribution

Each Keypage as atleast one Passive on them which can be triggered through EGO Resources.

You can equip more through passive attribution, each of em cost as much as the rarity of it's associated ID (I.e Ain(0̸) Passive cost 1 point, Soph(0̸0̸) cost 2, etc.) You cannot attribute passives of Unique IDs.

Fuckin hell that was a lot to type, go grab a bottle water if you haven't already, cause that means you've made it through 1/3 of this post! ...yippie

Ah– we will now begin

The E.G.O Section!

Abnormalities... Monsters beyond human comprehension... representing different aspects of blah blash blegh! You already what they are!

And neither of us care about that lore(rn) what we want is to harness they're power in combat

And! Uh, I have some good news and bad news about that.

Let's start with the bad, you may only equip 5 Abnos(1 for each Risk Lv) per team

I know kinda shitty, good news it's a Fusion Between LoR's Abno Page and LCB's EGO Skills, which is the entire point of this series thing...

Can you tell I'm Tired? Cause I've been sitting here for like 6~8 hours as I'm typing this line. And this one is after another 3 hours, 38 minutes, 14 second yea I came back just to type that, what of it??!

...for the sake of my sanity we will be using Telepole/Alleyway Watchdog(O-02-11-26) and the associated Sinners for the majority of this section.

–EGO Skills

Starting off, Abno EGOs acts as both your special moves and additional passives(for that encounter) and they come in 4 different flavors.

First and foremost is Dormant EGO Skills, only those who can not Resonate with an Abno can use these. They do not trigger the Abnos Passives, roll lower and deal less damage, But they also cost less SP and Sin Resources than other version(s) of the EGO

Awakening & Corrosion(Overclock too) are Exclusive to those who are able resonate with the Abno(Faust, Don and Heathcliff in our case), I.e if you played Limbus you know what they do.

However, before moving to Synchronization let's talk about—

–EGO Passives

After using an Awakening or Corrosion Skill, at the beginning of the next turn, you are able to pick 1 passive from the Abno EGO you used.

In our case it would be between Faust's [Adaptive Release], Don's [Haphazard Discharge] and Heathcliff's [Roar], after which depending on the passive, you may(or may not) select who gets the passive.

This can range from random, 1 unit, multiple units, anyone who isn't the user, everyone on the field, only your enemies, etc, etc.

If you want another passive from the same Abno you have to use a different version of the Abno EGO I.e if you used Don then you have to use either Faust or Heathcliff

There's also a limit to the amount of Abno passive you can have per Nugget but I'll cover that in the last section.

–Synchronization

Upon meeting all criteria and using an Overclocked EGO the selected Nugget Synchronizes with the used Abno and is overwritten with a Unique ID for the rest of the Encounter *Conditions may apply.

The secret? Well, you don't know what the criteria is of course! It could be a 13 step plan, maybe you need to not bring something, maybe you just need 100 EGO resources or vice-versa!

In the end, it will stay an enigma until you use it for the first time, of course I'm a benevolent moron so I'll atleast give you an example.

We'll be Taking Little Red(F-01-57) for our test drive. Now using our knowledge of the Abno's Story what they represent, in this case revenge, we can deduce that it probably has something to do with the Bad Wolf(F-02-58).

I'll expedite it a bit here, but either have the Bad wolf on the Field or someone who used it's EGO Skill last Turn, pay the toll(Resources) and unleashing the Skill will have the Nugget Sync with Red Hood! Of course you made sure to read the fine print right? ....right??

sigh, alright I'll tell you about the added conditions too, in our case it requires Red hood to land the finishing blow on our To be Bad Wolf fail to do so and the Synced unit turns Indiscriminate, if you kill all the enemies but fail to suppress them, then you lose. Ah–, btw you can Sync with Every Abno if you wanted to, it's not always the best choice let alone a plausible one so be careful of that.

You can Obtain Abno Skills has Story Rewards, Side Content or through the Gacha, and their passives through Uptie and or Supressions (again up to your discretion)

NOW we finally made it the homestretch the final section(of this post)

–Panic/Mental Types!!

You gain different effects depending on how high or low you SP is, hitting either extremes results in a Panic/Bliss state where you(usually) can't control that unit.

Mental types are determined by what Keypage you have equipped but can be changed under certain conditions.

–SP Gain & Loss

Winning/Losing a Class

Max/Min Rolling

Enemy Kill/Ally Death

Skill Effects

Or Keypage specific thing

–ID Possesion

It's quite literally the opposite of Corrosion, but with IDs instead. I.e, when you hit max positive SP a wheel is turned based on Nuggets currently equipped Skill.

Let's say it's a 3-way split between W-corp, 7-Assoc and The Ring. So it would be a 30%:30%:30% for any of them to be chosen with the remaining 10% being nothing happening

Once something is chosen, all of your skill will be turned into a skill from that faction that is of the same rarity and is then shuffled.

After 1 turn has pass in that state your SP resets to 0 and you turn back to normal, the catch here is that you don't know which one of your skills you've used until the Possession is over, making it act as a punishment or reward depending on how you use it.

And with that...

IT"S THE END FINAALLLY!!

it took so, so damn long!!!! Im never doing this ever again(in one sitting)

I still have part 3 to do so i'll crawl towards that eventually with that I Hoped you enjoyed reading my ramblings

Until next time,

Toodaa loo!!

oh am i kidding

SANITY II: EMOTIONAL BOOGALOO!!

yeah...! YEAH!!!

YOU TOUGHT THIS WAS OVER DIDN'T YoU?? Well, its not, so strAP THE FUCK IN!

Here's the emotion bars reds negative greens positive

Number in the middle is the Emotion Level, you increase it by using EGOs in ascending order(1=Zayin, 2=Teth, etc.) up to a Max of 5. In normal gameplay. it can go up to 6 if you use a Unique IDs mechanic or EGO Sync, and 7 if you do both, good luck with that one

What does it do? Buffs you obviously, Action Slots, Card Draws, Number of Abno Passives, ID Mechanics.

Really whaterver the fuck you can think of, and I already did my share so show some of your creativity

See the Yellow bar on top? that's Grace, your max SP(- & +). If the colored bars reach it, shit happens, I think you can figure what.

you can also sSSSssPppiIiIiiInNnN it with Sinking&Floating(counterpart) so watch for that.

that does it im not writting anyomre of this, part 3 the finale where ill covver encounters skills, clasehed skill check resources status effects, gachaas SIN realixataon your mu,m UUUUUUUOO OOOOOOGGHH HHHGGH KANI REoRoEoRoEoRoER EREoooooREoRoERoEoRoEoRoEoRoeoroEoReooroEoRoeorEoRoeoroEoRooerooER thisisthisthatisthat youmustJUDGEMENT likeihave PALpalpALPlapLAPlapLAPlaplPALpalPALpalpALPalpA getgETperebhzcbcdGetwkjofndjlnklwdfgETGETGewjfdbu bfjwdtgeTEGte baitused tobelivable*giutar riff*HoLydhItisT HtAA ThE rEd MiRsTtHk

#project moon #limbus company #lcb #library of ruina #lobotomy corporation #btw this is a #long post #the brainrot is real

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can-i-see-your-passport-please · 10 months

Note

stanley parable? haha morew like stanley parallels am i righ-[GETS PUNCHED]

ok ok bad jokes aside TELL ME ABOUT THE PARALLELS IN THE FUNNY CROSSOVER AU MY EARS ARE WIDE THEFUCK OPEN !!! ! ! ! !!!

OKAY OKAY SO SO SO. The main parallels come down to the ARCS the characters go through, so let's discuss that first.

(General content warning for themes of the world being a game)

To put it very simply: the Narrator's character development is him learning he isn't as in control as he thought he is. He may have console commands, he may be the writer of the story, he may have some level of control over what the parable does, but he is no god. He is as bound to the code as anything else in the game.

Meanwhile, Gordon's character development is him realizing he's an AI- not just an AI, but one shaped by an outside force that sometimes controls his body, movements, and mind. It triggers an existential crisis in him, and also causes him to gain a deeper understanding of WHY Dr Coomer was so freaked out- the player knew why, but Gordon doesn't. But it also gives Gordon this different conflict- one of learning that his free will would regularly just get sucked away.

The Narrator and Gordon's arcs parallel each other in that they both realize they're not in full control. The Narrator has some, but not full control over the Parable, which infuriates him because he is shown to have this intense need for control- control over Stanley, control over his story, control over the building, control over his audience's perspective on his game, control over EVERYTHING. The Curator even pointed this out in the Museum End, about how Stanley and the Narrator wish to destroy and control each other.

And he keeps getting denied that control. Tries to control Stanley, that never fucking works. Tries to control his story, Stanley just refuses to go along with it. Tries to control the building, and it just shifts and warps around him, refusing to let him do anything. Tries to control his audience's perspective on the game... well, we know what happened there.

Gordon too has a need for control, but to a lesser extent. Gordon's (mostly) human, he knows he doesn't have full control over everything and never will, and is mostly chill with that (which translates to "never really thinking about it much," because how many of you think about the level of control you have over your life). And he does try to kinda control what the Science Team do, if "trying to get them to not die" counts.

However, he takes a level of comfort in the fact that at the very least, he has control over himself. He has control over his own body, his own mind, his own emotions. Sure, his temper is pretty quick to trigger, but he is the One Sane Man, and he can control himself.

AND THEN HE REALIZES HE LITERALLY CAN'T. His entire personality was shaped by a being beyond his comprehension, and all the control he thought he had over himself was an illusion. And at any second, all the control he CURRENTLY has could be completely sucked away, and his brain could be overwritten by something literally beyond their comprehension.

So tldr: the Narrator wants control over everything, and Gordon wants control over himself, and both learn that they've never really had that.

Now, Benrey and Stanley's parallels.

Benrey's character development is basically him slowwwly starting to have a complete mental breakdown. He's been hanging on okay for a while- he's hanging out with the Science Team, Gordon can be in the same room as him sometimes, he's not as much as a wreck as he was immediately post-Xen (though that's not saying much). But the strings that have been holding his mental state up are slowly but surely fraying, and he cannot hold on forever- especially if he keeps refusing to process the INCREDIBLY TRAUMATIC EVENTS THAT OCCURRED DURING THE RESCAS AND XEN.

Stanley's character development is... So, one of my favorite interpretations of Stanley back when I first got into TSP was that Stanley was so, so idiotically stubborn. And a facet of that stubbornness was he REFUSED to directly communicate with words, instead communicating through body language, actions, and drawings. I'm going with something similar, and his arc is being forced to fucking communicate sometimes. He eventually HAS to communicate not through drawings, but more through sign language, and he HATES having to use words to communicate.

Benrey and Stanley's arcs also parallel each other in terms of the fact that both of them need to overcome just how fucking stubborn they are. Stanley despises the Narrator while also caring for him deeply, but admitting he cares is giving the Narrator some level of power over him. And he refuses to ever give him any power. They are in an eternal game, and giving the Narrator power is giving him an advantage, a bigger chance for an ultimate victory, which Stanley will never give.

Meanwhile Benrey loves so deeply, so painfully, and desperately wants to help and be helped, love and be loved, but he would genuinely rather claw his heart out than EVER admit that. Because there's a part of him that's very aware that everyone would stop viewing him as the pure evil villain he "knows" he is if they knew how much pain he was in. He does not want to be loved or cared for in the slightest. After all, since when do bad guys deserve that? (And also Benrey's a little asshole <333)

Tldr: Benrey's inability to communicate with Gordon is primarily driven by love and self-hatred, and Stanley's inability to communicate with the Narrator is primarily driven by rage and spite.

So the main parallels are between Gordon and the Narrator, and Benrey and Stanley. However, there are smaller scale parallels that are just as important and interesting.

Benrey and the Narrator are one of those smaller scale parallels. They're both beings beyond human who are aware of it's a game, who are far, far more powerful than their silly gay person they like tormenting affectionately. (Also they've both refused to process two unfathomably traumatic events- for the Narrator, it's the skip button end, for Benrey, it's Xen.)

But there's a crucial difference there- the Narrator has a deep need for control, while Benrey doesn't. The Narrator needs to control as much as he can, especially since he already has this much power, which tends to be addictive.

But Benrey doesn't really care that much- his mindset is far more akin to positive nihilism than the Narrator's. Benrey just explores his powers, has a little fun, acts a little silly.

(And ironically, this gives him far more control than the Narrator has. Being that obsessed with control and power doesn't let you accept that there are things you won't be able to control. Benrey's accepted that, the Narrator hasn't.)

Stanley and Gordon are far more obvious parallels. Both are player characters, both are somewhat controlled by the player (see: Not Stanley end), both have a lot of contradictory emotions of simultaneous love and hate towards their powerful obviously gay sillyboy.

But the main difference is that while Gordon reasonably freaks out about being the player character, Stanley doesn't have much reaction to it. Partially because he's been living in the parable for an eternity, and partially because he's kinda... shut off his ability to let himself feel anything about it. After all, if he starts feeling something about the fact that he's the player character, he'll have an existential crisis, and his whole house of cards is gonna come tumbling down.

Meanwhile Gordon straight-up can't shut off his emotions about it. Gordon feels everything- love, hate, anger, fear- and he feels it so much that it's painful. Stanley's completely disconnected from his emotions, but Gordon is painfully connected to them. He might TRY to push shit aside, he might TRY to not think about it, but he really can't avoid things as long as Stanley can. It's just in his nature- he's far more emotional than Stanley is.

PLEASE KEEP SENDING ME ASKS ABT THIS AU I HAVE NORMAL EMOTIONS ABOUT IT

#asks #🛂can i see your passport? please [benrey freeman]#🔫I’M GOING FUCKING NUTS [gordon freeman]#not maintagging bc i don't wanna clog stuff up #hlvrai parable au

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subliminalbo · 1 year

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Introducing Betas

I joke sometimes about how unapproachable my stories can be, and I get it. I know it's a big ask for people to invest their time into a fucking mind control smut series featuring dozens of original characters with tons of parallel and intersecting plotlines. But that's also kind of the point to it all? Like, if these characters don't have unique identities and personalities, why should it matter when the mind control starts and all of that is stripped away?

Betas is kind of an evolution of that idea. Before Betas, each series existed in its own space. Carpenter State is a connected world, of course, but when you're reading an Assimilation story, you wouldn't expect any Alphas stuff to show up in it. This kind of story segregation has had a few effects on my writing. Most important is how slowly things move when you're juggling four or five series at once. With Betas I thought, why can't I write a series that's everything?

So here it is: my most intimidating and unapproachable series yet. It took me a whole year to even bring it to the Tumblr because I wasn't sure if I'd established Carpenter State enough here for people to care. Maybe I haven't, but I just really like this series. So I wanted to share al little bit of background about it in case anyone wanted to take shot at it.

The story so far...

Betas takes place in the immediate aftermath of Alphas. After brainwashing her entire sorority into loyal soldiers, Madison Wells turns her focus to Greek society. Madison is successful in dissolving several other sororities into the Alphas house, but when a favorite slave betrays her, she's forced to flee Romero. With Madison in the wind, the Alphas are disbanded. Its remaining members are deprogrammed by Dr. Sylvia Fielding and return to their normal lives as if nothing happened.

Despite their deprogramming, few of the former Alphas choose to return to sorority life. This leaves Beta Phi Alpha, one of Romero's oldest sororities, with only five members: Ana Marino, headstrong leader left shaken by the Alpha storm; Morgan Jones, the kind and loyal number two; Taylor Byrne, sagely elder statesman and simultaneous wild child; Sydney Harris, the young and carefree blonde completely oblivious to anything around her; Andrea Rubin, a mysterious upperclassman pledge tasked with spying on the sorority against her will; and Magan Reed, the sole defector who's chosen to return to the Betas after the collapse of the Alpha house.

But as the Betas tackle the question of how to rebuild their house to its former glory, they're unaware of the forces beyond human comprehension that have begun to invade Romero and even the house itself.

If I had to pick a specific series that Betas fits in with, it would be Assimilation. But it's also just a story about Romero, and the students of Carpenter State who navigate through a world that's filthy with mind control around every corner.

This first chapter took me days to write, and I've been slow in following it up with a second, partly because I haven't gotten a ton of feedback on it and also because of a feeling of obligation to actually finish Alphas. But I really hope that people enjoy what I've written so far.

#series: betas #inside hypnoball

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shining-gem34 · 4 months

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||HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

This is like a rough idea from rereading info about Cloudhymn magic and like, observation of Dan Heng (IL) and Bailu abilities. But have you ever think about when a Vidaydhara, child or adult, have first awakened their abilities to use Cloudhymn magic?

Visually, it might appear small and subtle like your hands (or body) glowing. Or nearby bodies of water- a teacup or a basin full of water ripples in response. The liquid might even float in the air too.

Or it could be grander in scale such as mist appearing out of nowhere and covering the entire area. Even mirages; illusions made from cloudhymn magic can appear.

But what about the esteemed High Elders, whose existence are the closest to Long?

The signs could vary between each succession, but in the case of Dan Feng...

When he first awakened his talents as a child, his tutors were in awe of his latent abilities and endless potential in cloudhymn magic. In their view, they witnessed visuals of lotus blooms and clouds circling around the hatchling. The salty sea scent potent in the air, mingling with lotus blossoms, and they swore they can hear a dragon roar in the background.

Imagine the power behind cloudhymn magic, capable of manipulating the senses enough to make a individual believe it is real. But also, in the future (and as seen in Dan Heng IL in-game combat), manifesting those illusions to be real enough to inflict damage on enemies.

But for Dan Feng at the time? What did he feel when he first unleashed his magic?

It felt as if the ancient sea welled up within the depths of his soul. From the top of his head to the tips of his feet, he is brimming with power that is beyond his comprehension. But he knows behind the furious storms of the sea, there is tranquility; the beauty of the waters when undisturbed.

That is, as long as Dan Feng remains controlled and discipline. To never lose himself in his anger, because to be controlled by anger is to bring destruction to himself and everything around him. :)

Of course, when it comes to conjuring visual illusions of Cloudhymn magic...

Dan Feng favorite is creating a scenery of cranes relaxing in the water. They're elegant, beautiful, and so very tranquil that it soothes his soul.

---

Dan Heng.

I imagine his powers were sealed since his birth and during his imprisonment. Just enough to prevent him from attempting anything rash like unleashing a torrent of magic, but not enough to hide his horns or pointed ears. Even after he was exiled, Dan Heng powers are kept tightly locked away.

Any residues of his magic are used to hide his Vidyadhara features and don the form of a regular short-lived humanoid. A form he admits to be most comfortable having.

During the Luofu arc, Dan Heng powers were forcibly unsealed via Blade stabbing him. Centuries of cloudhymn magic bursts forth in the form of a dragon coiling together around him. His human disguise forced to be undone revealing his Vidyadhara heritage.

In a sense, Dan Heng powers in cloudhymn magic awakened albeit in a very violent way.

Yet, Dan Heng believes he has truly awakened when he can finally manifest a mirage using cloudhymn magic.

A draconic maple tree sitting atop of a water surface, surrounded by mountains, and the maple leaves falling endlessly.

The visuals that surround him whenever he uses cloudhymn magic in battle? Yeah, Dan Heng doesn't count that...at first.

#jadecoocoo (mun rambles)#jade personal headcanons #the guard of the express (dan heng)#lotus moon blooming from mud (il dan heng)#moon drinker (il)#sleepy so not much to say about dan heng but might redo it later for him

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terrence-silver · 2 years

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Random but I’ve taken up a summer job at a jewellers store and anyway, we had a custom order come in for an 50th anniversary gift ring from a retired snake catcher/reptile keeper and his wife in a similar field (gotta love ‘straya lol) and it was a beautiful white gold ring with two snakes forming a ‘braided’ pattern with their names on each. Super wholesome.

Alas, all my Terry loving ass could think of was him getting it made for beloved. Totally not to reminder her how long he’s kept her and that there will be countless more anniversaries whether she likes it or not.

Australia sounds awesome.💖

---

Incidentally, I think Terry would be huge on commemorations, anniversaries, important dates and crowning said important dates with copious, luxurious, often times extravagant gifts that serve as unflinching reminders of his relationship's longevity and as an elaborate 'You're here forever' directed at beloved. Because, yeah, well said --- once he is committed and devoted, there will be many, many, many other anniversaries and jubilees whether beloved likes that or not. Terry Silver would rather render himself a widower than ever cut a connection of genuine affection short and not make it last for the rest of his and beloved's natural lives, and even well beyond that (Shared graves anyone?) So, sure, entwined snake rings. Ouroboros pendants especially commissioned to signify infinity, and by extension, the endless quality of his love, his initials on a chain which then expands into his name on a chain purely in the off chance anyone accidentally misplaces that T.S. isn't him (how dare they?), his picture in a heirloom locket trapped in an ember and quite literally immortalized, a blue lover's eye bearing his gaze, matching signets, matching broches, a locked bracelet only he has the key to, a bejewelled, hyperrealist, anatomic rendition of a human heart beloved can keep on their bedside table (as per his desires). When he feels particularly blatant and tired of the subtle nuances of symbolism directed at the world, a decorative silver collar will do. He's in everything. In every gift. In every action. Every present says 'You're mine'.

Terry makes up anniversaries if he finds he lacks occasions.

He has the money, he makes the rules.

He doesn't intend to wait for a silver, gold or platinum jubilee to go all out.

Not when he can go all out today.

Naturally, a ten year anniversary sounds wholesome and normal by any means. A 'when we first met' anniversary is pretty charming too. Why not? A when we first kissed? Fairly commonplace, sure, if one has a major attention to details. Then, how about a when we first fucked? The list of commemorative events Terry undoubtedly keeps neatly listed and stashed somewhere hidden, in some tidy, micromanaged log book with another lock entirely of it's own, can take on any form of adoring and any form of downright unsettling and creepy your mind can imagine to the point he'd mark the date of the first ever time beloved slept over and woke up to getting their period all over his crisp, expensive sheets, leaving stains behind. The first time they tried to conceive. The first time Terry tied beloved up. Made them submit to him. Give themselves whole. A Day of Capitulation, September 24th. To anyone who could ever even get their hands on such a journal and actually read from it, they'd think that Mr. Silver is simply making a comprehensive list of some very peculiar holidays they haven't really heard of before, alongside a few private notes on anniversary dates and meaningful days...which is ordinarily...ordinary and even very sweet. Until you realize everything is a code for something else and that Terry makes up events purely to have an excuse to trap beloved in a perpetual slew of celebrations upholding their love, which in turn comes with a perpetual slew of presents, gifts, romantic gestures and an infinite barrage of reminders that they're with him forever.

So, Carpe Diem! Evil Cupid cackles in contentment!

Terry Silver could have a new anniversary for every day of the year.

#i love your personalized stories guys #do send more #if you like #terry silver #kk3 #cobra kai #terry silver x reader #terry silver x beloved #yandere #terry silver yandere #anniversary

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olivia-anderson-fanfic · 1 year

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Just Fine and Dandelions

Summary: Like other magical creatures, witches are very territorial.

(Part 1/3)

Many things in this world are beyond human comprehension.

Vampires were tall, gangly things with too much pallor to their skin and wicked sharp teeth. The undead were visibly crumbling into ash, and gave off a horrible smell that warned you of their existence well before they were in striking distance. Sprites were tiny, glowing beings that, like an angler fish, would lead the unwary to an untimely death.

But these aren’t what people fear the most. Because, though the chances of surviving an encounter with such a creature were slim, at least you would know what was going to happen the moment you saw it.

No, the things people fear most are the things that look like them. The faerie are perfect facsimiles of humans, unless you peer too closely at their teeth or count how many fingers they have. Nixie will lure you into the water with them with beautiful songs and even more beautiful bodies, and you won’t realize that they’re not normal until they grab you with their ungodly strength and pull you under.

There was no warning. No chance to run. For why would you run from what you think was just another person?

And then there were witches.

Perhaps witches disturbed humans the most.

Because faerie and nixie usually stick to themselves. They’re willing to leave humans be, as long as they themselves are left alone. If you don't stumble into a faerie's circle, or come close to a nixie's lake, you could go your entire life without seeing one.

Witches, however, will join human society, and humans will never be any the wiser – or rather, not until the witch got bored.

In which case, their problem really isn't the fact that there is a witch in their village, and more the fact that there is a magical being set on razing everything they've ever known and loved to the ground.

Until then, though, witches are perfectly willing to be just yet another human. They're model citizens, really.

After all, gathering all those ingredients for their potions and spells was difficult. Who wants to spend all of their time gardening and hunting when you can simply go into town with a couple of coins and buy most of what you need? Witches need to perform magic to survive, and if they’re spending all of their time doing other things they start to…

Well.

They rot, for lack of a better word.

So, witches hide among humans. Tolerate humans. They’re willing to have symbiotic – or, at the very least, parasitic – relationships with them.

But, like other magical creatures, they are also very territorial.

Which is why, when Marinette looked up from her sewing and her gaze landed upon a ‘man’ with dark skin, her smile strained.

She could feel the magic radiating off of him. The humans wouldn’t notice, she knew. Her entire shop was practically overflowing with magic after all of her years living there, to the point where the floorboards glimmered with glittering gold that she could never quite get out, but the humans’ eyes glazed over it like it wasn’t there at all. So, no, they wouldn’t notice the way that the air around the man seemed to brighten just slightly. As if he was so happy that the world itself had lightened to give that perfect, sunny feeling right back to him.

Not that he actually looked all that happy. His hands curled into fists where they hung out of his traveler’s cloak.

To be fair, she wasn’t all that happy herself.

She fought the urge to reach up and check that her earrings were still in place. That they hadn't popped out of their own accord and rolled right over to him. It was a stupid thought, perhaps, but one that poked at her regardless. If she lost her earrings, she would be ruined. Which was exactly why she couldn't risk drawing any attention to them whatsoever.

She discreetly tied off her most recent sewing project underneath the table before slowly pushing herself to her feet.

She cast a glance around her store. She was the town seamstress. She was good at sewing, could make lace so intricate you would think a spider had woven it. People liked her work, and she liked having something to busy her hands with in the long hours before nightfall. It was mutually beneficial.

And, unfortunately, business was booming.

Which meant that there were several people around to watch as the man glared her down for seemingly no reason.

She set her jaw, forcing her expression to remain as cheerful as she could make it. “Oh, you must be new in town!” She glanced him up and down, and couldn’t quite hide the way her lips tried to curl in disgust. “Come into the back with me, I’ll get your sizes and everything so I can start on something for you.”

He raised an eyebrow at her. “When did I say I wanted to commission new clothes from you?”

“Oh, I just assumed. Because…” She made a vague motion to him and his current clothes, and then tipped her head to the side with a smile that was more passive-aggressive than true. “Well, you’re here, aren’t you? Is there any other reason you’d come to a fabrics shop?”

His annoyance faded just slightly, replaced by the barest traces of amusement.

She jutted her chin out, silently daring him to say something that would get them both thrown out of town. After all, the only way someone can sense magic is if they themselves are magic as well, and humans don’t care about honoring the wishes of even the most well-intentioned whistleblowers.

He held her gaze for just a few moments longer before sighing and giving a small shrug of his shoulders. He brought a hand up to steady the backpack slung there, beneath his cloak, making him look like he had a posture that even Quasimodo from Notre Dame would pity.

Quietly, she led him into a backroom. Her tape measures lay there, yes, but that wasn’t at all what she was aiming for.

The moment the door clicked closed, the sigil carved into the door and the wall were joined. A human might see the swirling designs and colorful shapes on her walls as a design choice. But, when she reached into her pocket for a couple of stray flowers and then pressed a hand to the design, channeling enough magic to make the soundproofing rune glimmer her signature deep red color, it became unmistakable. This was the house of a witch.

Not that the man was surprised.

His hand jerked towards the flower vase not that far away, but she knew the intricacies of her house's layout, and he stumbled over a rune. It was harmless, something that stuck his foot to the floor, but it was enough to trip him up regardless. He hissed a curse as his chin slammed against the ground.

She only paid him enough mind to purposefully step on one of his legs on the way to the vase. Her fingers looped around the stems delicately. Water dripped over the floor, but she didn't seem to care.

She almost looked pleasant like that, holding a small bouquet to her chest, smiling with so much ease it almost bled into him. It would look domestic, pretty, sweet…

If he didn't know that living things were extremely powerful channeling tools, and that she could use them to drain the life right out of him with a few simple words.

"Scared of a couple of flowers?" she teased.

She made no moves to stop him while he dispelled the rune binding him to the ground, nor when he pushed himself to his feet. She had the upper hand and she knew it.

Not that he cared to back down. He sneered at her. “Not really. But I can't say that I’m all too fond of the idea of fighting both of you at once.”

She laughed, but there was no real humor there. “Then don’t force me to fight you.”

He tipped his head to the side, seemingly considering it, before humming and stepping around her. Brown eyes scanned the place as he walked around her tiny little abode but, really, he was watching her. Trying to gauge her reactions.

“So,” he said in a light tone. “Where is your Item? Is it a book? Or a sewing needle? That sounds like something you’d do, you seem to like sewing quite a lot, if you chose that to be your job.”

He grabbed a nearby set of knitting needles suddenly, but she didn’t do much more than raise an eyebrow at him.

And then she snorted and started forward.

“You want to play that game, huh? I mean, if you want to find my Item, then surely I’m allowed to have a little looksie for yours as well, right?” Her grin turned sharp. Her heels clicked loudly on the floor with every step she took in his direction, getting louder and louder, faster and faster as she advanced on him. “It’s got to be on you, right? I mean, you wouldn’t leave it out for the werewolves to find, and you aren’t set up in any of the houses in town yet, so it’s got to be in your bag somewhere… I’m sure that, if I just up and grabbed it I’d have it, and I don’t think you’d want me to own you, now, would you?”

She stepped into his personal space, leaning in and smiling in a way that could only ever be described as creepy.

“Don’t start fights you can’t win,” she warned. And, for just a second, she didn't look like an innocent little seamstress. Blue eyes swirled with something Wild, as if nature itself was contained within her tiny frame. Held at bay, but only just.

He grinned and brought a hand up to tap her on the nose.

She opened her mouth to curse (either at him, or to simply curse him), but her voice quickly died in her throat.

A tiny flower poked itself out of his palm, the roots curling around his finger.

She jerked back.

“I don’t.”

(Next part)

#dukenette #dukinette #maribat #ladybug #marinette dupain cheng #duke thomas #signal #for those who have noticed im on a fantasy kick #i always am #i just stopped caring about stats #so now im doing what i want

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formulex-inc · 20 days

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#Fleas Control in Weston FL

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