#(... as if you would teach it the same way to 10-11 year-olds as to 15-16 year-olds)

[random2908]

"Jewish culture is such a big part of America" Well, that's sort of a complicated statement that I could write whole essays about. It certainly wasn't my lived experience as a Jew living outside of NYC, The Valley, or one of the random small Jewish enclaves like Squirrel Hill Pittsburgh. (Even if I only lived an hour from the Valley. Valley people didn't ever travel south of downtown, and the rest LA didn't ever travel north of Hollywood. There are only a few passes across the hills/mountains, and the traffic is terrible.)

But in this case, actually you're right, and that's an irony of this interaction. See, the reason he'd heard about the Holocaust at all by the beginning of high school is because it was part of the 5th grade curriculum in my area, on (both sides of) the border between LA County and Orange County. This did not fit in with the normal California 5th grade history curriculum otherwise, which was approximately, Puritan colonial life, the Revolutionary War, and slavery and the Civil War.

However, there was a woman in our area who'd written a memoir about surviving the Holocaust in Poland (and watching her entire family die or be disappeared) between the ages of 8-15. The story was written at a violence level that was marginally appropriate reading for an 11-year-old. So, she'd started suggesting to schools in the area that she could come talk to 5th grade classes about her experiences; and schools started assigning her memoir. By the time I was in 5th grade, she was so popular (and also nearing retirement) that she could not go to every school every year. So, in that case, it was left up to the goyishe teachers--who were entirely unprepared for it--to fill in that bit of the curriculum that was not required but had become locally traditional. If she wasn't coming to visit, her book usually wasn't assigned (but my mom made me read it the next year anyway).

In my class, the teacher was perfectly well-meaning, but very young and not especially knowledgeable, and tbh I mostly dissociated during that unit (and also this was 31 years ago) so I could not tell you what was or wasn't covered; but I did chime in with occasional input, and I'm sure my presence made it more real for my classmates. However, it was pretty rare for LA-area Jews to be descended from Holocaust survivors like I was, and anyway the majority of 5th grade classes did not even have a Jewish kid in them at all (for example, I was the only Jew in my grade at my school, which was split into three classes of 30 kids each), so most kids did not get even what little bit of a spiel that I was willing to give.

This other kid at my high school had gone to a different elementary school entirely, notably on the OC side of the LA/OC border (I'd been on the LA side prior to high school; there used to be a very bright line between liberal LA County that faded toward moderate at the border, and ultra-conservative Orange County). So, who even knows what this kid's teacher* had said during the Holocaust unit. But clearly he'd gotten the wrong idea. Because here was the actual conversation we had.

Him: [some equivalent of "Don't be such a Jew" or "Don't Jew me bro" or something, about some other classmate refusing to lend him lunch money]

Me: Please don't use "Jew" as a slur. I'm actually Jewish.

Him: What? No you're not. Didn't you learn in 5th grade that all the Jews were killed in the Holocaust?

[I then gave some explanation about how actually, a few Jews survived, and also there were Jews in other parts of the world--such as America--who weren't even part of it; he listened politely, apologized, and successfully remembered for at least two months not to use "Jew" as a slur where I could hear it. By the the next time I heard him use it, I was already too worn out to keep confronting people over something as trivial as slurs.]

* Not every OC teacher was like Steven Frogue--a guy loosely associated with the Institute for Historical Review, a Holocaust-denial think tank--but it's notable that Steven Frogue was, in fact, a public school history teacher in OC at the time. He was quoted by his students in a law suit as having said, "6 million? more like 60." He was also, at the time, an elected member of the school board at the community college where my mom works, and once hired a guest speaker to give a talk there on how the Anti-Defamation League had assassinated Kennedy. So, y'know, there was that going on in the cultural background.

when I got on tumblr ten years ago I was like huh it's 2015, why are we still talking about nazis? that was seventy years ago and they got smacked down harder than anybody ever has, what the fuck is going on?? but somehow people just don't learn do they.

[tumblingdowntheway2019]

Master List Here!!

Because it has yet to be told what Zelda did or felt exactly during her time in the past, other than learning with Sonia as her mentor about her powers, spending time with Mineru for studying and what we see in flashbacks, I decided to have some fun and make a huge list of Head Canons about her time in the past. Enjoy!! (Under cuts for spoilers and not taking up your feeds space.)

💪😎💕

1. After the initial introduction between the Past King and Queen of Hyrule, Zelda fainted. It was Sonia who was able to catch her as she fell forward and noticed the plume of Gloom eminating off of Zelda.

2. With the use of the Light Power from Rauru and some Sundelions used in their herbal medicines, Zelda was as right as rain by the next day. She would explain the events leading up to her being sent to the past and how Link took the brunt of the Gloom, but her adrenaline rush meant that she didn't notice that it got her as well, just enough for her to feel feverish and drained.

3. This had also lead her to be near inconsolable during her first few hours there as she was worried sick for the people of her home, especially for Link.

4. The only way she was able to calm down was thanks to Sonia. She promised that she would teach her to control and understand her powers, more so the Time Powers as Zelda currently has the Secret Stone in her possession.

5. Zelda had offered to give the stone back on many occasions upon learning that it bore the same etchings as Sonia's, so it must have been hers originally. But Sonia, again reiterating that she sensed her and Rauru's power within Zelda, trusted her to keep a hold of it, even making the necklace we see her wear.

6. Zelda had actually borrowed one (1) Sonia's old dresses from when she was younger, until her own outfit was ready by the Tailor Construct.

7. Zelda had felt uncomfortable with it at first as it reminded her of her time praying to the Goddess, Hylia, for her to grant Zelda her abilities that came too late to make a difference over a hundred (100) years ago.

8. Sonia understood and apologised, she understood what it meant to do such a rigourous task, as she had to do the same for her Time Powers. It was easier but still unpleasant.

9. This was when Zelda started to realise that it was nice to be understood from her point of view. The conversation even made her forget she was wearing the dress.

10. The Tailor Construct had Zelda's outfit ready within a couple of days and this is the outfit we see in the game.

11. Time with Rauru had been the same, he told stories of his youth. The difficulty he had when he learned of his light powers and his Zonai heritage and the expectations of living up to that, especially now that he was a King.

12. Now comfortable, it was time to meet Mineru, who had been keeping tabs on Zelda via Sonia and Rauru. She had done some studying on how to help the stranger who claims to be from the future. It would give her a break from creating her Golum Construct after all.

13. It didn't take very long for Mineru to believe Zelda, as seen in the her flashback. Shiekha were not commonly seen at this point in time, considered an Urban Legend. So to see the Purah Pad and their symbols on it, it was without a doubt that Zelda is telling the truth.

14. After their meeting, Mineru offered Zelda the opportunity to use her library should she ever want to. Even if it's not searching for a way back home. The door is always open. Zelda did about a week into her stay there.

15. There was no doubt now that they were related, Rauru and Sonia found them hunched over a load of books and papers as they were talking about possible attachments for the new Golum Construct.

16. "Ok hear me out, anything. You can detach what you don't want. Fans on your back for speed, rockets, gliders. And cannons for each arms!" Aaaannnnd they've been hooked on the possible combinations and what the battery consumption would be ever since and missed the evening bell for dinner.

17. They had to be dragged out. Zelda being over Rauru's shoulder as he held Mineru around the waist to drag her. Zelda was like a confused kitten at that point. Sonia had seen this many times between the Zonai siblings but now their descendant? She couldn't stop chuckling at the thought of it now.

18. When Zelda had learned about the Zonai Diving Ceremony, she had eagerly asked Mineru what it was. The answer? "That's how I found out about that I can separate my Spirit from my body, I swear!"

19. Rauru offered to take her to one (1) of the sites for the Diving Ceremony, while also backing up Mineru's claim. It had been a running joke since their childhood. She even learned that Sonia got to try it as well and that what made her eager to try it out.

20. She immediately began regretting it as soon as they were at the location. She knew it involved diving into water. But not from THOUSANDS OF FEET!!

21. Sonia, with her own sky diving outfit, did not hesitate to jump as she charged off the edge, finding it funny how Zelda yelled "WHAT IN THE NAME OF HYLIA-" before the winds cut off the rest of her sentence as she decended to the pool below at high speeds with a loud "WOOHOO!"

22. As Rauru explained more about how it was the Zonai Tradition that allowed them to prove their courage and enter adulthood, Zelda couldn't keep her gaze off of how casually Mineru walked to the edge, seeing how far down her sister in-law had gone before turning around.

23. She then proceeded to lean and fall backwards off the edge. Arms folded and everything. Zelda gasped at the sight before running to the edge to see that Mineru had turned to dive properly. But not before giving her a little wave while doing so.

24. Rauru couldn't help but laugh at the reaction, remembering his childhood as he watched the others partake in this challenge. He offered Zelda to hop onto his back so she won't be left up there since the others jumped before he did. Zelda agreed. Link does this all the time, surely she can face the challenge no problem. It's a straight down fall, no obstacles.

25. "M-move ov-over Mineru, I-I-I declare myself the new Sage of Spirit!" Zelda declared with her jittery and shaky voice as she had a death grip on the stone of the waters edge. The adrenaline rush was marvelous and she felt alive, but not eager to do it herself anytime soon. She think she lost her spirit halfway down, no idea, don't care, let's do it again.

26. She dives with everyone a few times before she decided to finally do so herself. Sonia had promised to be with her should anything happen. Zonai were built for this sort of thing, so a fellow Hylian brave enough to literally dive head first, not even seconds upon arriving might Zelda add, is comforting.

27. After confirming she knows what to do, and that Sonia's time powers can recall her if need be, they await for Zelda to jump.

28. Thirty (30) seconds. Not bad. The experienced did it in half the time but Zelda still beat the thirty-five (35) second record. This, actually made Zelda anxious.

29. The First Royalty were very concerned at this. It was then they learned that Rhoam had always expected Zelda to push herself to do things perfectly. To always out do the opponent and if you couldn't do it, it was deemed worthless and to get back to studying and unlocking her powers. She was afraid that they would scold her for not getting the record broken. That she wasn't worthy of trying again after being told how to and practiced with them so many times.

30. Well now, that wouldn't do, it took a little convincing, but the Trio assured the young Princess that it had taken them many attempts to even just jump from that height. Rauru especially because he always had Mineru to care for him. If she wasn't comfortable jumping, she doesn't have to. Or they could jump with her, they don't mind, they've done it before.

31. Zelda gathers herself for a few moments before deciding to jump with them. Eventually getting the hang of it to jump herself. The Zonai had allowed her to grip onto their backs due to their height, so now Sonia had the task of teaching her how to do it on her own. Even taking off her gear to prove a point.

32. This is when Zelda came to truly appreciate the experience. The thrill of having the wind blow through her hair, freefalling and diving towards to water below. She felt free in this moment. Whooping and cheering with pure joy as she had beaten the her own record by a couple of seconds.

33. The three (3) chuckled as Zelda didn't even wait for them after finding out that if she beat the twenty-five (25) second record, that a piece of skydiving equipment was a reward. Seeing Sonia wear the whole outfit made her determined.

34. Zelda finally completed the Courage Island Dive and got this shirt to prove it.

35. She did not do the other two (2) however cause way too many obstacles to do without a paraglider...and a few fairies...yeah she'll stick to the ground thank you very much. For now anyway.

36. Sonia mentioned how it's after the diving that's her favourite part. Zelda didn't know why until they were drying themselves off.

37. Oh Hylia, Zonai are super fluffy!! She knew that their body was all fur but it still caught her by surprise at how fluffed up they've gotten when they dried themselves. She couldn't help but reach out to Rauru's ear to feel it.

38. She quickly backed off when she realised what she was doing when the King looked at her. He just chuckled and said he didn't mind, Sonia did it all the time.

39. It was also the first time Zelda had seen Mineru with her ears going downwards. And couldn't stop laughing when she made a sassy comment and Rauru response was to shake the remaining water in his head, soaking her again.

40. All in all, it was a fun day for Zelda and made her more excited to learn their culture and language.

41. Each of the Trio had their own job when with Zelda. Sonia taught her how to control her Recall abilities. Rauru taught her the political and job part of being a royal as well as understanding more of her light powers despite hers being stronger due to her being the reincarnation of Hylia. And Mineru taught her the language of the Zonai, their history and technology.

42. They had no set timetable for this. Zelda was free to learn whichever she wishes to learn on whatever day, so long as she informs them before hand. It was no suprise that she spent just a bit more time with Mineru. It reminded her of her time with Purah, Robbie and Impah.

43. One (1) day, while they were studying more into what could help Zelda on what could return her to her time, her arm accidentally brushed against Mineru's ear while she was in a ladder to get a book. That was how she found out that on instinct, a Zonai's ear would flatten against their head. (Inspired by a gif of Zelda and Mineru I saw here but can't find anymore. If you see it, I commented on it, please let me know. 😭😅)

44. This has become a fun way to get her attention when she is mostly distracted in reading.

45. Zelda would also just place her head on top of Mineru's, similar with how Sonia does it with Rauru, cause fluffy. Mostly when she is sleeping or bored and this gets her attention, though she had to be higher up to do so.

46. Rauru had introduced Zelda to the leaders of the Zora, Rito and Goron and a Gerudo Warrior who has been working close with them since she left the Gerudo Desert years ago. She reminded Zelda an awful lot like Urbosa and Riju.

47. While still under the guise of just being a close relative staying with them, Zelda would retell stories of her companions. Often accidentally upsetting herself but thankfully most of those memories were happy ones that long made her no longer cry.

48. She even gave some advice on medicine and techniques from her time, that may have unintentionally ended up being passed down to their descendants and back to Zelda, only for this loop to happen again.

49. Sonia often walks with Zelda outside of the castle grounds, teaching her more about her Recall ability, reminiscing of how she and Rauru met as children, how Mineru was often protective of her little brother due to the fact that she mainly raised him, how to put on their body paint and wash it off, essentially the mother Zelda longed for after the death of her own and Urbosa.

50. Zelda was often found in the Library, on occasion sleeping there because she wanted a way home soon, but not as urgently as before and using this opportunity to learn more to help those in her time.

51. She and Sonia were caught mimicking the Zonai one (1) time. Mineru had left her her head piece in her office, and Zelda originally impersonated Purah, which Sonia responded by mimicking Rauru in their make belief argument about the use of a floating stone, then the Zonai walked in as Zelda mimicked Mineru in the best sounding wise voice she can, and both turned red when caught by them laughing at the door. The headpiece falling onto Zelda's face as it was a little too big for her.

52. It wouldn't be the first time that Rauru and Sonia found random plaits in their hair after sitting back to back with Zelda. Sonia and Zelda often play around with Rauru's, adding flower decoration and ribbons or helping him get knots out of it in general. Sonia even mentioned how Mineru's reminded her of a brightbloom seed, to which the latter just leaned over and said "she's not wrong."

[eldritchsurveys]

1257.

1. Where would you like to be in 5 years? >> I would like to be alive. If I’m not, then I guess I’ll be in no position to protest anyway. 2. What was the experience that impacted you the most in your life? >> I have no way of determining that. I don't think that's a logical way to judge my life, anyway -- everything I've experienced has contributed to how I am, and trying to "rank" those things in this manner is missing the point. 3. What type of relationship did you have with your parents? >> One I'm still recovering from. 4. Would you be with someone who doesn’t have the same beliefs as you? >> If I'm actually wanting to be close to someone, they definitely have similar core beliefs as me. Otherwise, I wouldn't even be feeling that way.

5. How would your best friends describe you? .

6. Do you usually follow your heart or your head? >> My emotions and my cognition are intertwined. 7. Would you put your family or your friends first if you had to choose one? .

8. What did your last relationship teach you? .

9. What do you think of online dating? >> I don’t have any thoughts about online dating. It doesn’t seem any more interesting to me than offline dating. You'll note that I just don't like dating, I think the whole concept is absurd.

10. Do you prefer dating just one person and see where it goes or dating multiple people until you make a decision? >> I prefer not dating. I don't go out seeking romantic partners like that, I'd rather just make people's acquaintance the regular way and get to know them and see what kind of bond we form over time.

11. What are the qualities you’re looking for in someone you want to grow old with? .

12. What are you most grateful for in your life? >> Well, my life. And being strange and unusual and having such a complex inner world. Also, baklava. Very grateful for baklava.

13. If you could change anything about your past, what would it be? .

14. What’s the one thing you would like to change about yourself today and why? .

15. If a psychic could tell you what will happen in the future, what would you want to know? >> I'd really rather not. I do engage with astrology's divinatory properties, but only to a certain extent. I have an 8th house stellium and considering you can predict death-related matters through the 8th house, I think it's best I don't know too much about what's going on in there.

16. If you knew that you only had one year to live, what would you change in your life? >> I don’t know. I can’t comprehend what it would be like to know when I’m going to die, so I can’t imagine myself in that situation.

17. If money and career were no object, what would you really be doing? >> The thing is, money and career are not a factor in my life at all, so... here it is, here is what I'd really be doing. What I'm doing right now.

18. What do you do when you don’t get something you worked really hard for? >> Cry about it.

19. Do you hold grudges or do you forgive easily? >> I don't think I do either one.

20. What are some of your favorite quotes and why do you relate to them? >> I can never think of quotes off the top of my head. 21. Where do you go when you need some inspiration? >> I don’t have a specific place to go for this. I find inspiration in random places at random times. 22. Who is the first person you call when you’re in trouble? >> I don’t know, seeing as I’m almost never in trouble.

23. Which fictional character do you believe is the most like yourself? >> The fictional characters that are also me.

24. What is the craziest thing that you’ve done with someone? >> Hanging out with Sigma put me in some crazy situations back in the day.

25. Do you like someone you’re interested in to pursue you or do you prefer to do the chasing? >> I can play either role, I'm sure. What matters is the reciprocation, whether they do so in a shyer, receptive way or a more assertive way.

26. What is the best advice you’ve ever been given? .

27. If you could marry anyone in the world, who would it be and why? . 28. Do you think confessions make a relationship stronger? >> I think that depends on a lot of factors.

29. Did you ever judge someone for the dark secrets they told you? >> I actually think I'm the perfect person to tell dark secrets to. I am not inclined towards judgement -- or gossip. I'm even better than a priest. 30. What is your dream vacation and who would you take with you? >> I don’t dream of vacations.

31. What is one thing you’ve always wanted to cross off your bucket list, but haven’t yet? .

32. Would you ever just quit everything and start over in a new country? >> Emigrating to a different country does interest me, but I know that's just not possible for me so I don't think about it much.

33. Would you relocate for love? >> I would relocate for one corn chip. But, yeah, also love.

34. How do you feel about staying friends with exes? >> It vexes me to think that I could be so entangled with someone and then have such a rancorous parting that we couldn't be friends afterwards. That makes no sense to me. Why must that happen? I think I'd like to live and love in a way that makes it far less likely to happen.

35. What’s your love language? >> I don't participate in this shit.

36. If you could choose one superpower, what would it be and why? .

37. What is your biggest regret in life so far? .

38. Who is your role model? >> Skeletor.

39. What was your favorite romantic moment and why? >> Skygazing with the Grim Reaper in The Sims 4. I knew I could win him over. It's me, of course he'd fall in love with me. >:3 40. What is your favorite childhood memory? .

41. Are you still in touch with your childhood friends? >> I didn’t have any friends in childhood. In general, I’m not in touch with anyone I knew ("knew") in school. 42. What do you do when you’re angry? >> I don’t know. I’m so rarely angry that I don’t know what my pattern is.

43. What are your beliefs on God? >> Which one? The Christian one? I like some interpretations of him but not the more common ones. I think Christian mysticism and other smaller sects are onto something for sure. But ultimately, we're just not compatible relationship-wise.

44. Do you believe in soul mates? >> Sure, why not.

45. How long does it take you to really trust someone? >> I don't know, I still don't know what it's like to really trust someone.

[honeykiller666]

Few weeks back I asked what y'all think who Fugakus Sensei was and no one answered :')

But anyway, I'm gonna share my answer now. Who was the Sensei to Wicked Eye Fugaku, who rivaled Minato in status and position. Who was Hokage candidate. But in the end didn't make it.

We all thought it was 'Uchiha-hate' that prevented him from becoming Yondaime. But what if it wasn't? All Hokage were chosen bc of their lineage. Like 'Kakashi can't become Hokage, he's the student of the Yondaime who was the student of Jiraiya who was the student of the Sandaime and we don't want the Sandaimes thinking anymore'. What if the same thing happened to Fugaku? Warhero, one of their strongest, Hokage candidate. But in the end Minato 'won' the title. Why? Maybe bc of Fugakus Sensei. Hatake Sakumo.

They needed someone to blame for their war and putting it all on one man was the easiest way. So Sakumo, Fugakus Sensei, had fallen into disgrace and 'betrayed' everything Konoha stood for. His student could never become Hokage. What if he shared his thoughts? How deep had Sakumos teaching poisoned Fugakus mind? They couldn't risk it. Letting the student of their villages disgrace and cause for the whole war become Hokage.

Hatake Sakumo would be 16 when Fugaku would become Genin with 8.

With Sakumo (19) and Fugaku (11) they would get a new team bc the other two died.

His teammates would be Kushina (10, I changed her and Minatos age bc Minato doesn't really make sense... like... Minato becomes Genin with 10 but is JoninSensei with 15 when Kakashi, Obito and Rin meet him? Another topic, I changed their age and they're now close to Fugaku which makes way more sense, tell me what you think) and Hizashi (8). Great Shinobi get great names and potential.

For comparison: Team Jiraiya (18) one year after graduation (they lost a teammate) consisted of Minato (11), Teuchi (12, yes, I love that hc, check his age, he wasn't old in og and would fit with Minatos and Kushinas upgraded age) and Uchiha Mikoto (7).

I digress...

What do you think about Sakumo being Fugakus Sensei? Would the Uchiha heir train under some no name? Or the greatest Shinobi of his time? Why wasn't he chosen as Hokage? Were they wary of the Uchiha? Was it discrimination? Or his 'disgraced' lineage?

And have you ever thought about Minatos and Kushinas age? How he graduated with 10 years and was supposedly Jonin with 15 when Kakashi graduated with 5? How come he had way more missions in 14yrs of service than Kakashi who fought 2 world wars and was 25yrs in service at the time? I made Minato 7yrs older in my hc. So he and Kushina died with 31. It would make more sense, I mean, Mikoto and her being pregnant around the same time, Minato and Fugaku being rivals. And seriously. Kakashi went from Genin (5) to Jonin (9) in 4yrs. Which is insane. And desperate. Were they that desperate in 'peace times'? Minato graduated with 10 and was Jonin Sensei with 15. Really? So, in my hc he's 7yrs older.

Share your thoughts and tell me what you think.

[wilsons-striped-ties]

april tc challenge (days 1-30 one shot)

original post here!

1. does your tc have a catchphrase or something they say a lot?

no but he does use "eh" a lot to start his sentence or to refer to people HAHA but there are some phrases he will just repeat in the exact same tone and way like "i don't know" when he's teasing someone

2. what’s your favourite memory with your tc?

i think when i gave him cupcakes on his birthday? the look of surprise on his face was priceless

3. have you dreamt about them? if so, what’s the best dream you’ve had?

yup, i think it was a dream where he asked to take a picture with me LOL i don't really dream about him

4. if you could move away with them, where would you move to? would you bring anyone else?

anywhere he wants to HAHAH it can just be the two of us <3

5. do you know their star sign? are your star signs compatible?

yeah he's a cancer and im a taurus and apparently we're very compatible

6. have they ever given you a gift? if so, what?

he gave our class personalized handwritten notes for graduation!

7. have you ever given your tc a gift?

just gave him a note and baked brownies for him today, i also gave him cookies and more notes and also cupcakes for his birthday!

8. what’s their best physical feature?

his dimples hehe maybe his smile too

9. what’s their best personality trait?

hes really thoughtful and sweet actually, quite sensitive too :'

10. what subject do they teach? do they teach you?

HISTORY yeah he taught me for years three and four

11. how old are they? what’s the age gap between you?

not sure of his age but our age gap is confirm above twenty years

12. if they could teach another subject, what do you think they’d teach?

he used to teach english too but he does just seem like a history teacher

13. have you ever hugged? what was it like?

I WISHHHHHHHHHHHH

14. what’s your dream date with them?

i would love to just go on a walk with him and hold hands or go to a museum or something!!

15. do you have any pictures with them? if so, when from? and if not, do you think you’ll be able to get a picture with them?

i just took a picture with him, i have at least six pictures with him i think, i always grab a picture when i see him HAHAHA

16. is your tc single? do they have any kids? or pets?

married with three kids, not sure about the pets (i offer as tri-*gunshots*)

17. does your tc remind you of any characters, whether they’re from a book, tv show or film etc.?

not sure HAHAHA

18. what’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve said or done in front of your tc? did they notice?

oh gosh the other time i served him the wrong coffee order cause i worked at my high school canteen for a bit HAHAHAHA

19. what colour do you associate your tc with?

dark blue, dark red, black, gold, brown

20. is your tc a good teacher?

THE BEST

21. can you remember the last thing you said to your tc or that they said to you?

"bye mr passion fruit" "bye, take care"

(this was today when i was leaving after teachers day)

22. how do you cope when you really miss your tc?

i write about him, look at our pictures, reminisce about some memories HAHAA

23. what animal does your tc remind you of?

i have no idea, tiger maybe?? in my head he's the most beautiful hurricane though. he'd be a really beautiful, complex animal but elegant and sleek too, but mischievous at the same time... maybe a fox? wolf? folf? HAHAHAH

24. if actors had to play you and your tc in a movie, who would you cast as yourself and who would you cast as them? why?

woah im not sure about that, i feel it's hard to play him and i have no idea about myself too whoops

25. what’s your favourite outfit of theirs?

his black/dark blue dress shirts? he always wears the same stuff

26. do you stay in contact outside of school? if so, how? (email, text, letters etc.)

yeah, text

27. in your opinion, what’s the hardest thing about having a tc?

the delusions and waking up to reality... the urge to do something to further your relationship but the fear and legal matters :'

28. do you flirt with your tc? do they flirt back?

I HAD A CHANCE TO BUT CHICKENED OUT i just do it subtly, he does tease me a little though

29. if you could ask your tc absolutely anything and get a completely honest response, what would you ask them?

what cologne did he used to use cause it smelt insanely nice

30. how do you think your tc would react if you told them your feelings?

i don't know... i think he'd just wave it off or maybe smile and look away and scold me or something maybe?

[therk900]

☀️January TC Challenge (Day 1-31)☀️

1. Do you think your TC will teach you next year? M is teaching me this year and i'm so exited for it! I also still have A this year!

2. If you had to move to another city, how would you tell your TC? Would you confess to them?  Maybe in person so i could see how they reacted and i would maybe confess them!

3. Have you ever written a letter to your TC? If no, would you ever do that and what would be in it? If yes, what did you write?  Yes. I made one for S mid 2022. I wrote how I was so thankful for him.

4. Are you attracted to your TC in a more emotional or sexual way? Or both? Both if i'm being completely honest

5. How did you meet your TC? Do you remember your first conversation?  B and S both taught me when they first joined, and I sadly don’t remember our first conversation since we had so many and it was so long ago. I think with A, it was just mainly about getting to know each other, and i got to know him because my old maths teacher used to teach him. I met A around the same time as S! I met M at the start of last year since he was my teacher for a small bit of a subject i took! Our first conversation was him praising me and my answers

6. If it were to happen, how do you imagine the perfect kiss going down with your TC? If by chance you have kissed your TC, how did it happen? For S and M, I imagine it being the last day of school and they give me a goodbye kiss! With B, maybe a reunion kiss or something like that. With A, maybe a quick goodbye kiss!

7. Have you ever had an argument with your TC?  No. I would have nothing to argue about with them

8. Do you see your TC outside of school?  I wish I did. Hopefully i get to see B maybe, especially because he left

9. Do you have a memory you are particularly fond of with your TC? Any cute stories? When B was still at my school, B and I would have chats about random things and ask about my hobby of drawing! He also used to check up on me during school assemblies! Once when i was staying back after school, i was on a call with my dad, and i saw S walking towards me. I finished up the call with my dad so fast (my dad and i were done anyway) and talked with S until he got to his car. I helped him remove some things off his car before saying goodbye! This happened recently before it was the school holidays, but when i was in M's class, i was working on my own since i didn't really know anybody in that class. M saw this and decided to work with me! He was really sweet throughout it and technically gave me all the answers With A, we were working on something that my teacher gave me, and it had a question about a sports team that he followed. The question involved his team losing, so A decided to cross out his team's name and put a different team's name instead. A and i were laughing about it for a while.

10. If your TC is still married, would you (still) want a relationship with them? it all depends, really in my opinion

11. Do you have a photo with your TC? If yes, how did you get it?  Yes. I have one with B. I got it because the photo is in the school yearbook.

12. Do you think anyone you haven't told about your TC knows you're crushing on them? Most likely. It is obvious 

13. When is your last class with your TC? Will you see them over summer break?  My last class with S was in 2021 and with B, it was term 3 last year. I won’t see them over the holidays sadly. with M, it was at the end of last year. I will defiantly see A over the holidays!

14. Have you ever mentioned the tcc/teacher crushes to your TC? NO WAY. I would move schools after that. Even to the other side of the world!

15. Do you think one of your classmates has a crush on your TC? I don’t know tbh

16. Do you get jealous when you see your TC with other students? Not really

17. If you and your TC had a long distance relationship, do you think it would work out? Yes...

18. What's your TC's degree? Do you like what they studied? S: Science and a language B: English  M: Science i like those subjects

19. Have you ever cried about your TC? If so, why? No

20. Have you ever cried in front of your TC? If yes, why? I have cried in front of B once, I have forgotten the reason why. S saw me just after I finished crying and it was embarrassing. 

21. Do you know about your TC'S family? If yes, what do you know? I know of M’s daughter. (He introduced me to her once which was cute)

22. Would you consider them a dog person or a cat person? I would consider them all cat people. But maybe M would be a dog person

23. How would you tell your TC about your feelings? (If you had to) Letter most likely so it can be anonymous 

24. Do you know how your TC dresses outside of work? In casual shit, I guess

25. What are they like when they are upset? I’ve never seen any of them upset. When B was getting annoyed, he would just be like “come on guys” and everyone would just shut up

26. Where do you sit in relation to their desk/spot/lecturing position? With B, i used to sit at the front, near where he was sitting. With S and M, usually at the back, so I can admire them. Since A and I have private sessions, I technically sit right next to him

27. Do they know another language?  S knows Italian. i think A may know a tiny bit of greek

28. What do you have in common with your TC? B and I both had pets at one point and A and i went to the same School (he left a couple years before i joined)

29. Have you texted/messaged your TC? I’ve messaged A multiple times! I’ve only emailed the others

30. What is the most frequent TC daydream you play in your head? Me cuddling with them

31. If you could only say one more sentence to your TC before graduation, what would it be?  "I will miss you a fuck ton"

[serenaushy]

A conversation I don’t see being had enough is the struggle, pain, and unlearning you have to do when you’re raised with Christian morality. On paper, you might think it’s a great thing to introduce a young kid to. It teaches them to do good, and good things will happen to them. Sort of like a karma thing, but instead, we believe in a higher power that will take care of us if we believe and are good people. The problem is, the goal post for being “good” is never fixed. It moves constantly. Biblical leaders say that being “good” is following the set of morality that’s dictated in the Bible — so, the ten commandments and such. But there are rules in the Bible that most Christians don’t even attempt to follow, such as women being totally silent in church (1 Corinthians 14, 1 Timothy 2:11-15) and wearing head coverings (1 Corinthians 11:6), divorce being not allowed (Matthew 5:32, Matthew 19:9, Mark 10:11-12, Luke 16:18), and prayer being a private, personal, and un-vain affair (Matthew 6:5-8). (All these are New Testament examples, by the way, so they do apply to Christianity.) And then there are rules in life that you have to follow that aren’t explicitly in the Bible — most Christian children are expected to be well-mannered, polite, good at school, and grow into successful members of society. Christian children are chastised the same if they don’t get good grades or if they tell a lie — only one is in the Bible.

The problem is... not all of these things can be controlled. You can study all you like, but some kids aren’t great test-takers, and will get bad grades. (Heck, you can even tell lies that you don’t know are lies, which is something I actually got punished for as a child.) Some people have mental, emotional, or physical barriers that keep them from being “successful members of society”. And now those kids, who aren’t achieving what they feel they should be, who aren’t morphing into whatever new set of morality and guidelines that their parents dictate, suddenly see themselves as “bad”. Now they’re a bad person, and bad things are going to happen to them as a result. From things they cannot control. From rules they simply cannot be.

To take a page from the book of my life, I am disabled, and have been my whole life. After over a decade of trying everything we found out about to help my health, my mom took me to see Benny Hinn, and he said, on the stage, in a room full of disabled people, that if any of us didn’t get better, it’s because we didn’t believe hard enough in the healing power of Jesus Christ. Do you know what that will do to a person? He blamed me, who prayed every night in tears and went to every doctor I could find and went to multiple sessions where people prayed over me, for not being able to be healed. And yes, I know that God isn’t the people, but fuck, man. It is so messed up. It is so messed up that there are people who others look up to that say something as insensitive, horrific, and damning as, “If you’re sick, it’s your fault.” It’s so messed up that me and millions of other Christian kids grew up being told if you were good, good things would happen and you’d be blessed, and if not, well, we know where you’ll end up. It is messed up that I am 28 years old and I still have to tell myself that me having a bad health day isn’t because I am irreparably evil and unable to be saved.

And I’m obviously not the only one, I mean, I’m pretty sure almost every LGBTQIA+ kid could wax poetic on the same subject.

Because that’s the thing about Christianity. It doesn’t teach you that you are worthwhile and important. It explicitly teaches you that only by God’s grace do you matter.

[grumpygreenwitch]

Fanfiction 22-23

The thing is, as much as I have a problem with the vampire situation in the Guild Hunter universe, I can also admit that it fits within the universe, much for the same reasons and points Alyss has made so far. The lil' sunflower's just lucky that he's caught the Cadre at a time when its members are all critically open to the possibility of change and progress. Barring one of them, who really ought to go back to his nap.

Buy me a Ko-fi?

1-2-3 + 4-5 + 6-7-8-9-10 + 11-12 + 13-14 + 15-16 + 17-18-19 + 20-21 + 22-23 + 24-25 + 26-27

22

Alyss was shown to a computer room under the hyperbolic watch of three angels and two vampires, both of whom felt so old to his senses that the hairs on the back of his neck kept lifting up as if he were their prey. He behaved, for the most part. He printed out the lists for every territory, even if he very much doubted some of them wanted the things. He also printed several copies of another personal project and handed them out to one of the vampires, a dark-skinned, dark-haired, strikingly handsome man. "Would you please make sure to get these to Archangel Suyin?" She'd been kind to him and Alyss could only hope that her kindness would extend to others. "And Archangel Raphael too, I guess," he added. For all his ruthlessness the Archangel of North America had been fair, and he'd listened. "Or um, I guess, get them to someone who can?"

The vampire's brows went up. He stared at Alyss levelly, trying to find humor in the dark brown eyes; he saw none, only the young angel's earnest solemnity. The vampire had come to indulge his curiosity and meet Alyss, nothing else, but he hadn't expected the little goldfinch to really not know who he was taking to. "I'll see what I can do," he assured Alyss evenly.

Alyss nodded. Then he hit the manufacturer's reset for the computer.

"Would you like me to set it on fire as well," the same vampire asked, amused, when the angels around them realized what he'd done and lunged forward to try and stop the process.

"No, it's not mine," Alyss told him wanly. "I'm so tired. Do you know which way to my cell, please?"

The vampire pressed his lips tightly shut. It would have been mean to laugh, and there was no guarantee Alyss wouldn't misunderstand the gesture. "I'll take you there," he assured the angel. "Come on."

Alyss followed the vampire dutifully, and they walked in silence for a long moment.

“Do you really believe that? That the vampiric contract is unfair?” “Yes,” Alyss said, walking slowly and hoping he wouldn’t have to answer too many questions. He was very tired and he had a terrible craving for Jean’s cornbread. “Most of all because there’s no room for error, no room for the fact a vampire is a newborn when they sign it.”

“I’d hardly call myself a newborn,” the vampire countered mildly.

“Then why do you count your age from the day you’re Made?” Alyss replied. “I know bloodlust is a terrible thing. I’m not a fighter, I’m not on the frontlines, but no one could miss the horrors that happened when all those vampires rose up. But it’s hard to see detail in a mob. I have. I’ve seen detail. I’ve been to so many places, so many homes. Do you want to know what teaches a vampire to crest that wave? It’s not fear. It’s support. The ones who learn self-control the best are taught, not terrorized.”

“So, what, love?” The vampire scoffed.

“What? No! This isn’t a Beatles song,” Alyss chided him sternly, and the vampire’s amusement rose to new heights. “Support! A support network. Friends. Family. Companions. Knowing that if they slip up they won’t automatically be killed, that someone will be there to catch them before they fall into the abyss. That someone’s there to teach them how to walk on the edge without falling, to begin with. That there’s someone there saying, ‘if you are in danger of falling, here’s my hand, take it, pull yourself up.” Alyss huffed, rubbing wearily at his face. “We teach our babies. They get a hundred years of leeway if not more. You’d think we’d teach the other babies we make, too. Do you think you could get a message to the security forces here at the Refuge?"

All of the vampire’s amusement had vanished at the stark, unexpected truth that the young angel had put before him with such simple words. For a long moment all he could think of was the many times, the many people for whom he’d been that hand, well knowing that he was all that stood between them and the abyss.

For a second all he could think of was the one moment when he had been offered that hand by his best friend, when he’d needed it the most.

He had to bring himself back to reality with an effort, and gave Alyss a sharp, hard look when the young angel’s final words sank in. "Why?"

"There's an angel running around. He's, he was of Charisemnon's Court. I think he ought to be..." Alyss groped for a word that would fit beyond his own incensed feelings. "Watched. He might be guilty of war crimes but that's not something I'd really know for sure."

"Describe him," the vampire growled.

Alyss described Moissani as best he could, and then added, "Oh, I, uh..."

"Go on?"

"I might have punched him," Alyss finished in a rush. "Last night."

"Last night, when, last night? You weren't supposed to have any visitors."

"He snuck into my cell."

"That's a punching offense?"

"No! It was, it was just what he said."

"Uh-huh, and that was?"

"Wait, how do you know I wasn't supposed to have any visitors? I did too have visitors!" But by then they were at the gates to Elijah’s ward, and the vampire handed him over to the guards there, threw him a jaunty little wave, and stalked away.

23

Alyss’ heart sank when the Cadre reconvened and he heard a faint, familiar voice coming from the chamber as he drew close. "No, oh, no."

He couldn't rush in, his guards wouldn't let him, so instead he stayed back with a sparse crowd of people, none of whom he recognized aside from Jessamy and the Hummingbird. And, of course, Kliman, who faced the Cadre with calm composure as they spoke.

"Have we not wasted enough time in this matter?" Aegaeon was asking. "How many more people are we going to have chattering on today? The boy is guilty, he admits it freely."

"He is only guilty if we agree that the laws he has broken are true and right as they are written," Elijah countered mildly. "It could be said that in claiming a flaw inherent in the vampiric contract and Making, he is defending himself." His tone became almost casual. "It's a pretty good defense, to be fair."

"It is criminal behavior all the same. Unless we want to inspire vampires to run from their contracts? What need for the Guild, then? Let them run wild, slaughter the human population. What do we care?"

"Security found your friend," a familiar voice rumbled behind Alyss, the guards making no effort to shoo the vampire away. The angel turned briefly to look at him, but his attention was fretfully riveted on Kliman, looking so tiny at the center of the chamber. "He’s being watched. He claims you have something of his."

That did get Alyss' attention, and he felt his entire body go tight. "He can present a bloody contract for authentication, then," he replied sharply. He caught sight of the Hummingbird saying something to Jessamy and a severe-looking angel with wings of dark gold edged in black. "And then he can bite my whole ass."

"The whole point being made is that the Guild is as necessary as the efforts Alyss has put forth," Raphael replied in counter to Aegaeon, his tone tight. "Alyss himself made that point. In analyzing the information he has provided, I am forced to agree with him."

Alyss cringed. "Oh, that's going to get him in trouble with his Consort."

The vampire next to him made a low, amused sound. "Those are his Consort's words he's repeating. Which she growled out at him after he told her of your meeting earlier and gave her all those documents you sent him."

Alyss turned to face him, incredulous. "Who are you?"

"I will not decide on something as serious as an angel's execution without giving due consideration to every part of this matter!" Titus exclaimed. "Already the information he has given me shows this behavior isn't just abhorrent, it's widespread, and it's old. Discipline is one thing. This is... a sickness."

"Then perhaps you should have not looked at the data," the Archangel of Central Europe declared.

"Do you persist on ignoring the matter, Aegaeon?" Caliane demanded.

"There is no matter to ignore. Don't presume to tell me how to deal with my affairs."

"No. But a majority vote does." Her voice pitched to carry, the oldest of the Ancients declared impassively, "I would hear the evidence Kliman offers on behalf of Alyss."

"So would I," Alexander looked deeply thoughtful, and deeply troubled. The other votes came almost simultaneously.

Alyss saw Lilah move forward with a podium and a laptop. Kliman waited for the vampire to finish whatever she was doing and offer a nod, and thanked her before turning to the Council. "You have heard Alyss' words," she began. "And that is more than I ever thought could be achieved when I was doing the work he does. Yes, the knowledge you can't read from his mind you can probably pluck from mine. I'm older, but I'm no Archangel. And I don't think in numbers." She smiled fleetingly. "But I know some of you are beginning to see how deep this rot has spread while the rest of us sat in comfort, hoping that the rest of our brethren were, if not good, at least decent." She glanced at Aegaeon, then at Raphael. "Old age does not oblige any of us to be good. I think we very recently learned that lesson quite well."

"Get on with it," Aegaeon gritted out.

"I want you to hear from those Alyss helped."

"No -!" Alyss tried to surge forward, but the vampire had caught him even before his angelic guards could, his grip implacable and unbreakable. "No, she can't! Kliman!"

The older angel turned to hear her name called. She didn't look surprised to see Alyss struggling to get to her. "All of them agreed," she declared to the assembly, leaving Alyss so surprised he stopped struggling. "Every last one of them. Being caught is not nearly as important to them as making sure what happened to them never happens to anyone else."

"Oh, but -" Alyss fretted with a low, inarticulate sound.

"I'm sure some part of you is occasionally worried about your own continued existence, Alyss, not just everyone else's," the vampire told him, astonished and amused in equal parts.

Alyss strained in his grip. The vampire might as well be made of steel.

"You want to let go of my bird," a low, low growl suddenly came from a man who'd just stepped past one of the guards with absurd, inhuman grace. He wasn't armed, he couldn't be, not so deep in the Refuge, but he radiated menace like a small sun.

Alyss' breath stuttered out of him; the world, so grim and frightening until a moment ago, when it seemed like he had no more agency than a lamb among wolves, burst into colors and life. "Jean!"

The vampire holding onto the young angel turned very slowly to look at the new arrival. "I don't think we've -"

"I know who you are. I don't give a fuck. You can kill me easy, we both know that. But it won't be clean, and it won't be quiet." Jean smiled ferally. "Because I'll make sure of it. Let go of my bird."

"And you are?"

"His Second."

"Then you can keep him from interrupting, can't you?"

Jean held the other vampire's eyes for a long moment before he sighed, something very like his familiar exasperation showing in his lean features. He dropped his head and rubbed at his forehead before looking up and facing the angel. "Alyss."

"She's going to reveal them!" Alyss protested feebly, caught between his joy at seeing Jean and knowing, by that tone, that the vampires were in agreement. "To the Cadre!"

"They know." Jean slipped in front of him. The guards, at a nod from the other vampire, had fallen back. "Bird, come here." He touched lightly Alyss' face and whispered, "I'm sorry. There's not enough words to tell you how sorry I am. I just want you to stay put. Just that and I'll take whatever comes after, alright?"

Alyss twittered in wordless, defeated protest.

"He'll behave," Jean told the other vampire, who let go of Alyss.

As soon as he was free, the angel crashed into his vampire, holding him as tight as he could. Jean, caught unprepared, staggered briefly back before he could wrap his arms around the angel. "My bird. My sunflower."

"Why are you here, why did you come? You were supposed to stay safe in Boston!" Alyss protested, even as he kissed the taller man.

"I've never been safe a day in my life, Alyss. I don't need to be safe, I need you." He pulled away to look at that delicate face, the dark hollows beneath the sweet brown eyes. Every time he caught a glimpse of what had been done to his angel's wings he felt a cold, black fury come up inside him and try to choke him. "I didn't mean a single word I said back at the lodge. I let my nightmares run away with my mouth. I'm sorry."

"No, but you don't understand, Moissani's here. He knows I know of you, he knows. I, he made me angry and I punched him, but even when I thought I wasn't saying anything he still figured things out and I -"

"Wait, you what?" For a moment, the mere mention of that name had made the whole world shrink to nothing, turn into a devouring, laughing void. It lasted about as long as it took for the rest of Alyss' words to sink in, shattering the darkness so thoroughly Jean wasn't sure it'd be able to put itself back together again. "You punched him?"

"Um."

"Ah," the other vampire said conversationally. "You must be the one who inspired that whole ‘bite my whole ass’ thing."

Jean looked between the two of them. "Alyss doesn't swear."

"Um."

"The angel I met sure does. Now shush, we're beginning to get looks."

Beyond mortified, Alyss would have hidden under his wings and attempted to disappear if he could. Unable to do so, instead he buried his face against Jean's chest. The scent of his vampire, so familiar, so dear, finally drowned out the nearly overpowering scent of ancient predator from the other vampire. Jean's arms came around him once again, holding him close.

They listened, the Cadre and the people gathered with them, as vampire after vampire came online, unafraid, determined. As each of them described horrors beyond number. Many of them had prepared themselves for a hard life; they expected nothing less than the most rigid discipline. "You take a dragon into your veins," one of them said, "you expect learning to ride it will be hard and bloody. Seventy five years didn't teach me shit about my dragon." He looked haunted in the tiny screen. "They taught me only that nothing I ever did, that no matter how I obeyed, my only reward would be torture."

"I was never going to be free," the Finnish woman spoke in heavily accented English, her voice terribly devoid of emotion. "Every effort Kolia put forth was meant to break me. If my body was busy healing, he would abuse my mind. If both were unfit, I was cuffed to the floor until one healed enough to serve. There was no end. His harem, they are all like that. It is less trouble and better profits."

"I know hard work. I knew I was in for a fight." The young man spoke angry Spanish, translated by an angel with pale cream wings splotched with tan and gold. "But I thought I had at least a chance. If nothing I can do is good enough, then tell me! Teach me! Don't just starve me and lock me up in a barrel for your buddies to play soccer with!"

And so it went, until suddenly the build-up of archangelic anger and energy caused the computer to spit out sparks and black out with a sad little sound.

"These people could be anyone. Paid to say such things." Zanaya looked furious, but her words were a transparent attempt at seeing two sides of the issue when in truth she’d been leaning already towards one. The words of the Finnish vampire had touched something in her that was whispering and would not be silenced.

"Then allow me to present to you one of those vampires, here, in the flesh."

"Here, take him," Jean said quietly.

Alyss was slipped from one vampire's arms into another's grip before he knew what had happened. "Wait, what?" By the time he realized what was going on, Jean was next to Kliman. "No!"

"Do you want to tell him what he can and can't do with his life?" the other vampire asked quietly as he held onto the struggling angel, his voice full of dark, unspoken intensity. "You can." The words surprised the angel into holding still and actually listening. "I'm almost sure he'd do what you asked. But he might never get another chance to face his demons. Give him this. He needs it."

"But Moissani's here somewhere!" Alyss twisted frantically against that unbreakable grip.

"And if what you've said is true, he's not gonna touch your vampire, Alyss. I promise. Not ever again."

Kliman had stepped back to give Jean the Cadre's full attention. The vampire stood there, staring at the floor, breathing a little ragged. "Well, you've heard all that and you're not impressed. Can't say I'm surprised, but in my world most angels never cared anyway." With a sudden burst of movement he yanked off his jacket and the long-sleeved shirt he wore, and threw them aside. "Last time someone saw me without a shirt on was a year ago, give or take, a pure accident. No one sees me. No one touches me. I can't stand it. It feels like the goddamn scalpel all over again." The grid of scars gleamed whitely in the lights of the chamber. Around his neck there was a plain cord. He grabbed it and twisted to his back the blood-dipped, amber-colored feather, then spread his arms and turned slowly, letting them all see the extent of the scarring.

Alyss went limp in the vampire's grip at the sight of the feather.

"Who did this?" Suyin asked, one of her hands gone to a tight fist. "Who is your Maker, who holds your contract?"

"There was no contract. I was a ditch-digger in the French Territories four hundred years ago. I had three things going for me: I looked good, I knew how to fight, and three separate outbreaks of god-knows-what had failed to kill me. That was enough to perk up the feelers of a little plague doctor living in Africa under Charisemnon's aegis." He paused as the Council's attention sharpened. "God, he made it sound good, you know? I drank something on this side of the pond and woke up in his stronghold, already Made. Clean clothes, clean food, all the learning I never thought I'd have. Training, supposedly to become part of his guard. He made it sound like Christmas had come early and I just hadn't noticed. He could've given me a contract and I wouldn't have been able to read it, let alone sign it."

Jean spat out the poison of his tale, the things he'd never been able to tell anyone, not even Alyss. The centuries spent being carved into a grid, so much so that even vampiric healing couldn't rid him of the scars. Of disease and poison being cultivated on every inch of him, studied, dissected, tested, tempered. Of attempting escape twice, and failing. Of escaping a third time only because he'd had help. "It was easy for him," he explained when Raphael asked. "Just break a coupla necks, say it was me. With the price he offered, Hunters tripped over themselves to bring me back."

By the time he was done talking he was so exhausted his brogue had begun to take over his voice. "Far as I know, I'm the only one in the pipeline," he admitted. "The only one without a contract what's got away. Y'all want to believe your people are... fair." The vampire smiled humorlessly. "No. You want to believe vampires are treated right, hard, but right. Hell, no. Do I think you're goin' to fix this? A year ago, I woulda said no. But I've met a few angels since that honestly seem to give a damn. One, a fluke, two, an exception. Three?" He glanced at Alyss. "Yeah, three sold me on it. But I'll be honest. I'm expecting y'all to prove me wrong."

"I hold Charisemnon's territory now, vampire," Zanaya said quietly. "It is my duty to right his wrongs. So take this with you. I can do nothing for the horrors you faced or the injustice you've survived, but this much I can do: let the Cadre bear witness, four hundred years is enough. If there had been one, consider your contract fulfilled. You are free."

[llorando-en-el-cielo]

doing the TC challenge bc i feel i haven’t really introduced my TC :))

1. describe your tc's physical appearance.

~ roughly 5’0, blonde hair with brown roots, wears glasses , has blue eyes and thin lips

2. what was the first thing you've ever said to your tc?

~ i was lost on the first day because i read my timetable wrong so she gave me directions

3. is your tc single or taken? or are you unsure? and are you single or taken?

~ married for 26 years but it’s okay i can fix her, i’m very single

4. is your tc more of the athletic type, the nerdy type or the artsy type?

~ mix of nerdy and artsy, very appreciative of culture, arts and literature, whilst also very interested in etymology and grammar.

5. if you and your to were in high school together, do you think you'd be friends?

~yesss we’re the only people at the school who like her subject so i think we’d have that in common, plus we have a very similar set of interests and want the same things in life sooo!!

6. name one song that reminds you of your tc and explain why that song reminds you of them.

~ Reel Around the Fountain - The Smiths

“It's time the tale were told, Of how you took a child, And you made him old”

“I dreamt about you last night, And I fell out of bed twice, You can pin and mount me like a butterfly. But, "Take me to the haven of your bed" Was something that you never said”

“Oh, people see no worth in you, Oh, but I do”

7. is your tc fashionable or are they more of the simple type? what is one outfit you'd love to see them wear?

~ very simple, just blazers and trousers with the occasional scarf (suits her so well tho, im weak in the knees fr), i’ve seen pictures of her in jeans tho and i’d sell my soul to see that irl

8. would you be willing to become a teacher and teach your tc's subject if it meant you two could be together?

literally what i want to do in the future

9 . does your tc drink or smoke?

~ she drinks but hates smoking and vaping

10. name one item that is always on your tc's desk.

~ idk man that thing is a mess, but she has like unnecessarily big post it notes that she loves sm??

11. has your to ever done anything that has either thrown you off, annoyed you, angered you or bothered you in any way? if so, what did they do?

~ deadnamed me 💀 but she apologised and now we’re bffs so it’s okay

12. does your tc have any past jobs that you know of, before becoming a teacher?

~ waitressing apparently?? but i think that’s just when she was at uni, she’s always been a teacher

13. does your tc have kids or siblings? if so, how many:

~ 3 siblings and 2 children

14. are you taking your tc's class next year?

~ thankfully yes, but it’s my last year with her im gonna be so sad :((

15. has your tc ever met your parents? if you were there, what was the meeting like?

~ yes several times, they’re all very kind to each other but sometimes i complain to her abt my parents so idk how she actually feels abt them lol

16. has your tc ever given you detention? if so, what was it like?

~ never i’m a child of god

17. has your tc ever failed you? if so, how did you react? if not, how would you react?

~ no , i revise her subject for hours a week so i’d be so pissed if i ever did

18. what are your tc's hobbies/interests? are they similar to yours?

~ we have similar interests bc we both like her subject and i’m pretty sure she enjoys photography. i think that she used to knit bc we always talk about that but idk if she still does

19. have you ever spoken on the phone with your tc? what did you talk about?

~ once but before i was attached to her, it was during lockdown and she wanted to tell me how much she liked my work

20. if you had your tc's class during quarantine, what were your zoom calls like? if not, have you spoken to your tc since quarantine?

~ i don’t really remember but i’d love to sit on call with her now LMAO

21. if you had the chance to go anywhere in the world with your tc, where would you go? what would you do?

~ i’d take her to the sagrada familia bc she loves it (and you can get married there)

22. does your tc have any nicknames for you?

~ no but she thoroughly enjoys seeing me in the corridor and just shouting HUMAN at me

23. have you ever cried in front of your tc? why? how did they react?

~ many times, but she’s very sweet and just lets me sit and process whatever is going on, or tries to distract me as much as possible, and it’s against guidelines to touch me but she said she wished she could give me a big hug sooo

24. have you ever walked/drove to/from school with your tc?

~ noo we live on opposite ends of our town :((

25. do you know which teachers your tc is friends with at school? if so, do you like those teachers?

~ i’ve never really spoken to them much but they all seem quite sweet and i can see why she gets along with them

26. why does your tc's voice sound like?

~ AREEGEJEHDHSJSJDJXJJSSJJS THE BEST NOISE EVER JFJDJHEHDKDJDJDDJ ASMR ISTG

27. do you like your tc as a teacher? are they a good teacher?

~ yes, very, a little disorganised but she has the spirit!!

28. does your tc prefer books, shows or movies?

~ she used to read a lot but idk if she still does, but i think she prefers movies to shows

29. is your tc stern or easy going, in class?

~ very strict, avid rule follower but she’s very sweet as long as you respect her wishes and it annoys me that people get so pissy with her about it?? just listen to her?????

30. how would you describe you and your tc's relationship?

~ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, i hope she likes me and i do think she does and she always seems quite happy to talk to me?

31. do you address your tc by their first or last name?

~ last name, it feels weird to call her by her first name

[bookoformon]

Mormon, Chapter 10. "The Drains." Conclusion to the Book of Mormon.

In the final chapter of Mormon, "the Balm for the Oppressed", the Prophet discusses sealing. A Sealer is a type of prophet that "completes civilization." He says the words contained in this Book which were given as a gift to mankind by the Spirit of God shall hiss instead of roar into our ears like the sound of thunder of old because we no longer have faith or believe.

Below, God says He feels alone in his quest to Seal us so the words are just a hiss in the darkness:

A testimony of the Book of Mormon comes by the power of the Holy Ghost—The gifts of the Spirit are dispensed to the faithful—Spiritual gifts always accompany faith—Moroni’s words speak from the dust—Come unto Christ, be perfected in Him, and sanctify your souls. About A.D. 421. (still has a value of 358).

1 Now I, Moroni, write somewhat as seemeth me good; and I write unto my brethren, the Lamanites; and I would that they should know that more than four hundred and twenty years have passed away since the sign was given of the coming of Christ.

2 And I seal up these records, after I have spoken a few words by way of exhortation unto you.

3 Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them, that ye would remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and ponder it in your hearts.

4 And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.

5 And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.

6 And whatsoever thing is good is just and true; wherefore, nothing that is good denieth the Christ, but acknowledgeth that he is.

7 And ye may know that he is, by the power of the Holy Ghost; wherefore I would exhort you that ye deny not the power of God; for he worketh by power, according to the faith of the children of men, the same today and tomorrow, and forever.

8 And again, I exhort you, my brethren, that ye deny not the gifts of God, for they are many; and they come from the same God. And there are different ways that these gifts are administered; but it is the same God who worketh all in all; and they are given by the manifestations of the cSpirit of God unto men, to profit them.

9 For behold, to one is given by the Spirit of God, that he may teach the word of wisdom;

10 And to another, that he may teach the word of knowledge by the same Spirit;

11 And to another, exceedingly great faith; and to another, the gifts of healing by the same Spirit;

12 And again, to another, that he may work mighty miracles;

13 And again, to another, that he may prophesy concerning all things;

14 And again, to another, the beholding of angels and ministering spirits;

15 And again, to another, all kinds of tongues;

16 And again, to another, the interpretation of languages and of divers kinds of tongues.

17 And all these gifts come by the Spirit of Christ; and they come unto every man severally, according as he will.

18 And I would exhort you, my beloved brethren, that ye remember that every good gift cometh of Christ.

19 And I would exhort you, my beloved brethren, that ye remember that he is the same yesterday, today, and forever, and that all these gifts of which I have spoken, which are spiritual, never will be done away, even as long as the world shall stand, only according to the unbelief of the children of men.

20 Wherefore, there must be faith; and if there must be faith there must also be hope; and if there must be hope there must also be charity.

21 And except ye have charity ye can in nowise be saved in the kingdom of God; neither can ye be saved in the kingdom of God if ye have not faith; neither can ye if ye have no hope.

22 And if ye have no hope ye must needs be in despair; and despair cometh because of iniquity.

23 And Christ truly said unto our fathers: aIf ye have faith ye can do all things which are expedient unto me.

24 And now I speak unto all the ends of the earth—that if the day cometh that the power and gifts of God shall be done away among you, it shall be because of unbelief.

25 And wo be unto the children of men if this be the case; for there shall be none that doeth good among you, no not one. For if there be one among you that doeth good, he shall work by the power and gifts of God.

26 And wo unto them who shall do these things away and die, for they die in their sins, and they cannot be saved in the kingdom of God; and I speak it according to the words of Christ; and I lie not.

27 And I exhort you to remember these things; for the time speedily cometh that ye shall know that I lie not, for ye shall see me at the bar of God; and the Lord God will say unto you: Did I not declare my words unto you, which were written by this man, like as one crying from the dead, yea, even as one speaking out of the dust?

28 I declare these things unto the fulfilling of the prophecies. And behold, they shall proceed forth out of the mouth of the everlasting God; and his word shall hiss forth from generation to generation.

29 And God shall show unto you, that that which I have written is true.

30 And again I would exhort you that ye would come unto Christ, and lay hold upon every good gift, and touch not the evil gift, nor the unclean thing.

31 And awake, and arise from the dust, O Jerusalem; yea, and put on thy beautiful garments, O daughter of Zion; and strengthen thy stakes and enlarge thy borders forever, that thou mayest no more be confounded, that the covenants of the Eternal Father which he hath made unto thee, O house of Israel, may be fulfilled.

32 Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God.

33 And again, if ye by the grace of God are perfect in Christ, and deny not his power, then are ye sanctified in Christ by the grace of God, through the shedding of the blood of Christ, which is in the covenant of the Father unto the remission of your sins, that ye become holy, without spot.

34 And now I bid unto all, farewell. I soon go to rest in the paradise of God, until my spirit and body shall again reunite, and I am brought forth triumphant through the air, to meet you before the pleasing bar of the great Jehovah, the Eternal Judge of both quick and dead. Amen.

The Values in Gematria are found in the first two verses:

v. 1: Now I, Moroni, write somewhat as seemeth me good.The Value in Gematria is 15927, י״הטבז‎, Y'Hatvez "I carried out these Ten..."

v. 2: And I seal up these records, after I have spoken a few words by way of exhortation unto you.The Value in Gematria is 7698, זוטח‎ ‎‎ ‎"drains", pools of water in which Jewish persons achieve purity.

Our nation is not "draining" itself of impurities, and the voice of God is not heard nor is His Spirit seen in us. We are a petty, bickering, bitching, stingy, selfish, lawless, uneducated, superstitious bunch of losers. At every turn we deny ourselves and the world the chance to do good things. Anyone, anyone at all can read the Constitution, the UN Charter and Declaration of Human Rights and the Bible and figure out the best ways to solve our problems and all we do is make them worse. This has been going on for a very long time.

We should be the happiest people alive and the truest friends of the rest, and all we do is squander ourselves.

"Deny not His Power that ye be sanctified, sufficient in His Grace that ye be perfect and become holy without spot."

THE END

Next: the Book of Ether and the Seeing Stones.

[christian-perspectives]

Are Traditions Of Men Good Or Not?

Traditions of all kinds are celebrated by men and women in every culture. They range from the foods we eat at certain times of the year to the way we worship. Some Pharisees and teachers of the religious law asked a question because of an observation they made. They wondered why Jesus’ disciples disobeyed “their” tradition, not the law of Moses. Why do your disciples disobey our age-old tradition? For they ignore our tradition of ceremonial hand washing before they eat. Matthew 15:2 A tradition doesn’t usually start as a tradition. The ones these religious men spoke about began for the purpose of continuity. Let me explain how these old-age traditions came about. The Old Testament law contained over 600 commandments, which the nation of Israel needed to abide by. Therefore, the early religious leaders made ways that helped the Israelites live their lives according to the law.  As time went on, new leadership added to those helpful gestures, and they eventually evolved into mandates. So much so that these traditions of men became more important than the law itself. This prompted Jesus to boldly question the importance of the traditions that these men held in high regard. Jesus replied, “And why do you, by your traditions, violate the direct commandments of God? Matthew 15:3 The Lord didn’t wait for them to ask Him for an example. He already had one in mind and quickly followed up with it. For instance, God says, ‘Honor your father and mother,’ and ‘Anyone who speaks disrespectfully of father or mother must be put to death.’ Matthew 15:4

Jesus Exposed a Loophole

Jesus publically exposed a loophole that one of the “old traditions of men” created. The loophole made it so people didn’t have to financially care for their parents in their old age. You say it is all right for people to say to their parents, ‘Sorry, I can’t help you. For I have vowed to give to God what I would have given to you.’ Matthew 15:5 The way I understand it, vowing money to God was similar to a person bequeathing it to the church. But because of their vow, they could spend their money but couldn’t give it away. Therefore, that excluded them from giving their parents any financial help. Thus, Jesus referred to their actions as disrespectful and sidestepping the Word of God. In this way, you say they don’t need to honor their parents. And so you cancel the word of God for the sake of your own tradition. Matthew 15:6 Jesus reminded them of what the prophet Isaiah said. Then, He applied it directly to their hypocritical lives. You hypocrites! Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you, for he wrote, ‘These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship is a farce, for they teach man-made ideas as commands from God.’ Matthew 15:7-9 After the Lord said these words, He continued by making another comment. This time, He spoke indirectly to these religious leaders and to anyone else with the same guilt. Then Jesus called to the crowd to come and hear. “Listen,” he said, “and try to understand. It’s not what goes into your mouth that defiles you; you are defiled by the words that come out of your mouth.” Matthew 15:10-11

Don't Add To or Change God's Word

Christians must carefully avoid engaging in traditions that try to change or add to the Word of God. One area some want to add requirements to, which is not written in scripture, is salvation. The Bible is quite clear about how a person goes about getting saved. - If you openly declare that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. Romans 10:9 - Then he brought them out and asked, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?” They replied, “Believe in the Lord Jesus and you will be saved. Acts 16:30-31 - There is salvation in no one else! God has given no other name under heaven by which we must be saved. Acts 4:12 Once a person receives Christ as their Savior, the Bible gives instructions on how to live. The writings of Paul teach us how to maintain our salvation and grow in the Lord.

Traditions of Men and Women Today

The title of this writing asks the question, are traditions of men good or not? Churches celebrate many traditions that go right along with God’s Word. Families also establish some fun ones. A simple tradition that started years ago in our household began when my wife leaned a ladder against our Christmas tree. It was just a thin, wooden red ladder about three to four feet tall. She put about four little stuffed animals on the steps as if they were climbing up to the tree. She began doing this when our two sons were very young. Who would have thought something so simple would have become an annual tradition? But let me tell you what will happen this Christmas. Our grandchildren will look forward to putting those animals on the rungs of that ladder. Take a moment to think of some of the fun traditions you have in your household. Then, thank God for the traditions you celebrate in church and the ones you enjoy with your family. Lord, thank you for the traditions we celebrate together. Steer us away from the traditions of men that try to change or add to your Word. Checkout out these related posts about warnings. - An Important Warning About A Rebellious Heart Against God - Sound The Alarm Of Warning - Take Warnings From God Seriously - A Warning In The Bible From Peter - The Story Of Korah In The Bible Read the full article

[codornapocpoc]

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100 TCC Questions by Drowning-Lotus-TCC

Send an ask with the number which you want to know and I’ll answer you ✨⭐️

(Feel free to reblog 💖 Can I just ask that you leave any identifying information out when answering for you and your TCs safety 💕)

1. Are they a man or a woman?

man

2. Do you know how old they are? If yes, what’s the age gap?

17 years of difference

3. What subject do they teach?

chemistry

4. Do you like the subject they are teaching?

yes

5. What are your grades like for their subject?

mid

6. What is your favourite assignment they’ve set so far?

7. What is your least favourite assignment they’ve set so far?

8. Do they set homework often?

kinda

9. Is your TC generally liked as a teacher by their students?

yes

10. Is your TC close to any other students?

i hope not

11. How often do you have them for lessons?

once a week

12. How long have you been taught by them?

one year and a half

13. What do they look like?

14. Do you typically find people who look like your TC attractive?

yes

15. What is your favourite feature of theirs?

eyes

16. What is their hair like? What colour and style is it?

17. What is their eye colour?

18. What would you describe their body type as being?

19. How would you describe their style?

20. Are there any clothes you think they look their best in?

21. Would they be considered by most people to be physically attractive?

22. Do they have any tattoos which you know about?

23. Do they have any piercings which you know about?

24. Do they have any scars which you know about?

25. Which is the most attractive to you, the way they look or who they are inside?

26. What is their teaching style? (Eg. Strict or caring)

27. Do you like their teaching style?

28. How would you describe their personality?

29. Do you usually find people with their personality type attractive?

30. Do other people like your TCs personality?

31. What is their sense of humour like? Do you think they’re funny?

32. If you could change one thing about your TC, what would it be?

33. What’s a song that always makes you think of them?

34. What was your first impression of them?

35. How long did it take you to fall for your TC? Was it instant attraction or did it take you getting close to them to realise you had a crush on them?

36. What happened to make you realise you had a crush on them?

37. When you first met them, could you have ever imagined that your feelings would become so deep?

38. Did you ever think you’d have a crush on a teacher?

39. Have you ever had any TCs before?

40. Do you know anyone else who has a crush on your TC?

41. Do you know their relationship status? Are they married, in a relationship or single?

42. If they’re married or in a relationship, does this bother you?

43. Do they have any children?

44. What do you think they’d be like as a parent?

45. Do they have any pets you know about?

46. Are your feelings for your TC platonic or romantic?

47. How would you describe your feelings for your TC?

48. If you had the chance to marry them tomorrow, would you take it?

49. If they weren’t your teacher and the same age as you, do you think you’d be dating them?

50. Do you think your feelings for them will fade once they’re not your teacher anymore?

51. Have they ever complimented you?

52. Have you ever hugged them?

53. Have you ever given them a gift? If yes, how did they react?

54. Do you ever dream about your TC?

55. What is your favourite dream you’ve had so far regarding your TC?

56. Do you ever daydream about your TC? If yes, what do you daydream about the 2 of you doing together?

57. What is your happiest memory with them?

58. What is your least favourite memory with them?

59. What’s your favourite thing that you’ve heard your TC say?

60. Has your TC ever yelled at you? If yes, why did they yell at you?

61. Has your TC ever made you cry? If yes, what did they do?

62. Have you ever dressed up just to impress your TC?

63. Have you ever done anything to impress your TC? If yes, what did you do? How did your TC react?

64. Have you ever created a TC playlist?

65. Have you ever wrote a secret love note to your TC?

66. Have you ever written a poem about your TC?

67. Have you ever written a song about your TC?

68. If known, is your TC left wing or right wing?

69. If known, does your TC support gay marriage?

70. If known, does your TC support abortion?

71. If known, what does your TC think of cannabis use?

72. If known, what does your TC think of age gap relationships?

73. What is a film you’d love to watch with your TC?

74. What is a TV show you’d love to watch with your TC?

75. What is a band or singer you’d love to listen to with your TC?

76. What is a country you’d love to visit with your TC?

77. What is an event that you’d love to be with your TC for?

78. What is a video game you’d love to play with your TC?

79. If you were going to have a picnic with your TC, where would you like to go for it?

80. If you were going on a date with your TC, what would you like to do with them?

81. What famous person reminds you of your TC?

82. What movie character reminds you of your TC?

83. What cartoon character reminds you of your TC?

84. What game character reminds you of your TC?

85. If your TC was an animal, which one would they be and why?

86. If your TC was a fruit, which one would they be and why?

87. If your TC was a candy, which one would they be and why?

88. If your TC was a drink, which one would they be and why?

89. If your TC was transported to a fictional world, which world do you think would fit them best?

90. If you could say one thing to your TC, what would it be?

91. If you could ask your TC any question, what would you ask them?

92. If you could give any item to your TC, what would it be?

93. If you could choose your TCs outfit for the day, what would you pick for them?

94. Have you told any of your friends how you feel about your TC?

95. Have you told any of your family how you feel about your TC?

96. Does your TC know how you feel about them?

97. Do you enjoy being part of the TCC

98. Do you feel that being part of the TCC has impacted your life? If yes, how so?

99. Are you scared your TCC blog might be discovered?

100. If you could give people in the TCC one piece of advice, what would it be?

[torahtantra]

4. Parsha Vayera, “The Yoke.” Part 2.

The Birth of Isaac

21 Now the Lord was gracious to Sarah "the Queen" as he had said, and the Lord did for Sarah what he had promised. 2 Sarah became pregnant and bore a son to Abraham in his old age, at the very time God had promised him.

3 Abraham, "the Father of Compassion", gave the name Isaac[p] to the son Sarah bore him. 4 When his son Isaac was eight days old, Abraham circumcised him, as God commanded him. 5 Abraham was a hundred years old when his son Isaac "laughter, enjoyment" was born to him.

6 Sarah said, “God has brought me laughter, and everyone who hears about this will laugh with me.”

7 And she added, “Who would have said to Abraham that Sarah would nurse children? Yet I have borne him a son in his old age.”

=We must always yoked to the Origins of Civilization, the Father of Compassion and the Queen of the Country if we expect to remain here. In old age, especially then we must uphold the principals of justice and nobility which are the youngest offspring of Queen and Country.

The first step is initiation which takes place on the 8th Day during circumcision. It makes women laugh every time. Adam was not circumcised and Eve did not laugh when she received the news she was going to give birth.

Hagar and Ishmael Sent Away

8 The child grew and was weaned, and on the day Isaac was weaned Abraham held a great feast. 9 But Sarah saw that the son whom Hagar the Egyptian "the Temple of Speech, Pressed into Service" had borne to Abraham was mocking, 10 and she said to Abraham, “Get rid of that slave woman and her son, for that woman’s son will never share in the inheritance with my son Isaac.”

11 The matter distressed Abraham greatly because it concerned his son. 12 But God said to him, “Do not be so distressed about the boy and your slave woman. Listen to whatever Sarah tells you, because it is through Isaac that your offspring[q] will be reckoned. 13 I will make the son of the slave into a nation also, because he is your offspring.”

-> This idea of "two nations", one in which the boy serves and the man reckons, is the Formula. It happens after Isaac weds and Esau and Jacob are born into the same dilemma of who will reign supreme.

The answer, everyone is young at some point. We just don't stay that way. This is why the Temple of Speech, the boymind must be put to good use before it becomes a bad one and lasts way too long.

14 Early the next morning Abraham took some food and a skin of water and gave them to Hagar. He set them on her shoulders and then sent her off with the boy. She went on her way and wandered in the Desert of Beersheba [the oath].

15 When the water in the skin was gone, she put the boy under one of the bushes. 16 Then she went off and sat down about a bowshot away, for she thought, “I cannot watch the boy die.” And as she sat there, she[r] began to sob.

17 God heard the boy crying, and the angel of God called to Hagar [the flight, pressed into service] from heaven and said to her, “What is the matter, Hagar? Do not be afraid; God has heard the boy crying as he lies there. 18 Lift the boy up and take him by the hand, for I will make him into a great nation.”

19 Then God opened her eyes and she saw a well of water. So she went and filled the skin with water and gave the boy a drink.

20 God was with the boy as he grew up. He lived in the desert and became an archer. 21 While he was living in the Desert of Paran, [glorious] his mother got a wife for him from Egypt.

“To serve [compassionate societies], one must listen obey and respond. Listen to what the Queen says it is laughter that causes reckoning to take place later in the generations. God makes great nations of the obedient and the joyful. 

The master must be able to “lean on” the disciple” regarding the need to reflect upon the teachings and take oaths and become glorious. This means the boy dies and the man is born once the master’s tutelage is complete.” 

Since the boy was Ishmael the perfect disciple and the title of this Parsha is the yoke, this makes sense. I am almost inclined to call it the “oath” instead but yoke fits better with the rest of the Parsha. 

The Treaty at Beersheba “The Seven Oaths.” 

22 At that time Abimelek and Phicol “on the edge of completion.” the commander of his forces said to Abraham, “God is with you in everything you do. 23 Now swear to me here before God that you will not deal falsely with me or my children or my descendants. Show to me and the country where you now reside as a foreigner the same kindness I have shown to you.”

24 Abraham said, “I swear it.”

25 Then Abraham complained to Abimelek about a well of water that Abimelek’s servants had seized. 26 But Abimelek said, “I don’t know who has done this. You did not tell me, and I heard about it only today.”

27 So Abraham brought sheep and cattle and gave them to Abimelek, and the two men made a treaty. 28 Abraham set apart seven ewe lambs from the flock, 29 and Abimelek asked Abraham, “What is the meaning of these seven ewe lambs you have set apart by themselves?”

30 He replied, “Accept these seven lambs from my hand as a witness that I dug this well.”

31 So that place was called Beersheba,[s] because the two men swore an oath there.

32 After the treaty had been made at Beersheba, Abimelek and Phicol the commander of his forces returned to the land of the Philistines. 33 Abraham planted a tamarisk tree in Beersheba, and there he called on the name of the Lord, the Eternal God. 34 And Abraham stayed in the land of the Philistines “the grievers” for a long time.

--> Again the grievers want something that belongs to Abraham. This time it is his well. Wells represent the effort to find the reflective surface God created in the beginning. The Philistines tried to take a reflection that did not belong them, they wanted to see God without doing any work. 

Abraham sends him seven ewes, seven days, seven sacrifices that prove the well belonged to him. The Philistines accept this and then the well is apparently shared. 

There is but the One God, who is the Origin, Journey and Destination of all beings. The planting of the tamarisk tree “food and drink” to seal the deal between Abraham and the Philistines over this is literal and figurative: The Ultimate King concludes his sojourn, his grieving, when he meets the Father of Compassion and plants the tree of civilization which feeds its people, its conscience, laws, and is the basis for all intuition about the future. 

=

Not a Sodom and Gomorrah. 

Isaac also digs wells in order to placate his enemies. This is done by princes throughout the Torah, which as I have said are supposed to be all Jewish men:

From here we learn that whoever wishes to awaken and draw down things from above whether by actions or words, will achieve nothing unless the action or words are done in a fitting manner. Everyone goes to the Synagogue to awaken something from above but there are only a few who know how to do so.

The Holy One Blessed be He is close to all those who know how to call Him and to arouse response in the proper way. If they don't know how to relate to Him, then He is not close to them as is written: "G‑d is near to all those who call upon him, to all who call upon Him in truth." (Psalms 145:18) What do the words "in truth" mean? They indicate that they know how to awaken a true response, appropriate to the each and every request.

So, in our text about the spring, Israel would say these words, spoken in truth, in order to awaken a response from the spiritual source of that spring and provide water to Israel. Until Israel spoke the words of the song, the spring would not flow.

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❨1❩ ❛ They are dreams, but I’m too out of control, I lose myself in them, and I’ve already lost too much to let them take over. ❜
 ❨2❩ ❛ Sometimes human places create inhuman monsters. ❜ ❨3❩ ❛ I'm not gonna hurt ya. I'm just going to bash your brains in. ❜ ❨4❩ ❛ Monsters are real. Ghosts are too. They live inside of us, and sometimes, they win. ❜ ❨5❩ ❛ The world's a hard place. It doesn't care. It doesn't hate you and me, but it doesn't love us, either. ❜ ❨6❩ ❛ The tears that heal are also the tears that scald and scourge. ❜ ❨7❩ ❛ Pull your act together and just go on. ❜ ❨8❩ ❛ I had never dreamed there could be so much pain in a life when there is nothing physically wrong. I hurt all the time. ❜ ❨9❩ ❛ Tough old world, baby. If you're not bolted together tightly, you're gonna shake, rattle, and roll before you turn thirty. ❜ ❨10❩ ❛ Are you sure self-pity is a luxury you can afford? ❜ ❨11❩ ❛ Truth comes out. In the end it always comes out. ❜ ❨12❩ ❛ Living by your wits is always knowing where the wasps are. ❜ ❨13❩ ❛ No matter where you go, the same asshole gets off the plane. ❜ ❨14❩ ❛ We sometimes need to create unreal monsters and bogies to stand in for all the things we fear in our real lives. ❜ ❨15❩ ❛ That’s your job in this hard world, to keep your love alive and see that you get on, no matter what. ❜ ❨16❩ ❛ Human nature, baby. Grab it and growl. ❜ ❨17❩ ❛ God wiped snot out of his nose and that was you. ❜ ❨18❩ ❛ Run away. Quick. And remember how much I love you. ❜ ❨19❩ ❛ How many times, over how many years, have I—a grown adult—asked for the mercy of another chance? ❜ ❨20❩ ❛ I was suddenly so sick of myself, so revolted. ❜ ❨21❩ ❛ You listen to me. I’m going to talk to you about it this once and never again this same way. ❜ ❨22❩ ❛ But those pieces, they’ll never fit just the same way again. Never in this world. ❜ ❨23❩ ❛ Dying is a part of living. You have to keep tuning in to that if you expect to be a whole person. ❜ ❨24❩ ❛ Officious little prick. ❜ ❨25❩ ❛ I’ve been sleepwalking again, my dear. — The plants are moving under the rug. ❜ ❨26❩ ❛ How I wish you were fear. ❜ ❨27❩ ❛ But it was a dreadful kind of curiosity, the kind that makes you peek through your fingers during the scariest parts of a scary movie. ❜ ❨28❩ ❛ All we have is time, you know. An eternity of time. Or shall we end it? Might as well. After all, we're missing the party. ❜ ❨29❩ ❛ We all remember our pleasant dreams more clearly than the scary ones. ❜ ❨30❩ ❛ The way things should be and the way things are hardly ever get together. ❜ ❨31❩ ❛ Got to be regular if you want to be happy. ❜ ❨32❩ ❛ But in a solitary life, there are rare moments when another soul dips near yours, as stars once a year brush the earth. ❜ ❨33❩ ❛ He showed me his scars, and in return he let me pretend that I had none. ❜ ❨34❩ ❛ Humbling women seems to me a chief pastime of poets. As if there can be no story unless we crawl and weep. ❜ ❨35❩ ❛ It is a common saying that women are delicate creatures, flowers, eggs, anything that may be crushed in a moment's carelessness.  ❜ ❨36❩ ❛ If I had ever believed it, I no longer do. ❜ ❨37❩ ❛ I thought once that gods are the opposite of death, but I see now they are more dead than anything, for they are unchanging, and can hold nothing in their hands. ❜ ❨38❩ ❛ I cannot bear this world a moment longer. ❜ ❨39❩ ❛ I have a better idea. I will do as I please. ❜ ❨40❩ ❛ All my life has been murk and depths, but I am not a part of that dark water. I am a creature within it. ❜ ❨41❩ ❛ You cannot know how frightened gods are of pain. There is nothing more foreign to them, and so nothing they ache more deeply to see. ❜ ❨42❩ ❛ When we are young, we think ourselves the first to have each feeling in the world. ❜ ❨43❩ ❛ When I was born, the word for what I was did not exist. ❜ ❨44❩ ❛ But perhaps no parent can truly see their child. When we look we see only the mirror of our own faults. ❜ ❨45❩ ❛ I will not be like a bird bred in a cage, too dull to fly even when the door stands open. ❜ ❨46❩ ❛ This is what it means to swim in the tide, to walk the earth and feel it touch your feet. This is what it means to be alive. ❜ ❨47❩ ❛ You threw me to the crows, but it turns out I prefer them to you. ❜ ❨48❩ ❛ Yet because I knew nothing, nothing was beneath me. ❜ ❨49❩ ❛ If now I am wise, it is only because I have been fool enough for a hundred lifetimes. ❜ ❨50❩ ❛ You can teach a viper to eat from your hands, but you cannot take away how much it likes to bite. ❜ ❨51❩ ❛ Give me the blade. Some things are worth spilling blood for. ❜ ❨52❩ ❛ I have been old and stern for so long, carved with regrets and years like a monolith. But that is only a shape I’ve been poured into. I do not have to keep it. ❜ ❨53❩ ❛ I wake sometimes in the dark terrified by my life's precariousness, its thready breath. ❜ ❨54❩ ❛ Understanding the world is a matter of keeping very still and showing no emotions, leaving room for others to reveal themselves. ❜ ❨55❩ ❛ Beneath the smooth, familiar face of things is another that waits to tear the world in two. ❜ ❨56❩ ❛ The truth is, men make terrible pigs. ❜ ❨57❩ ❛ My father has never been able to imagine the world without himself in it. ❜ ❨58❩ ❛ This is the grief that makes our kind choose to be stones and trees rather than flesh. ❜ ❨59❩ ❛ Witches are not so delicate. ❜ ❨60❩ ❛ Those who fight against prophecy only draw it more tightly around their throats. ❜ ❨61❩ ❛ I learned that I could bend the world to my will, as a bow is bent for an arrow. I would have done that toil a thousand times to keep such power in my hands. ❜ ❨62❩ ❛ There's the story, then there's the real story, then there's the story of how the story came to be told. Then there's what you leave out of the story. Which is part of the story too. ❜ ❨63❩ ❛ The best way of being kind to bears is not to be very close to them. ❜ ❨64❩ ❛ Life is warped. I'm just in sync. ❜ ❨65❩ ❛ Now it's a whisper from the past. ❜ ❨66❩ ❛ But hatred and viciousness are addictive. You can get high on them. Once you've had a little, you start shaking if you don't get more. ❜ ❨67❩ ❛ Why is it always such a surprise? The moon. Even though we know it's coming. Every time we see it, it makes us pause, and hush. ❜ ❨68❩ ❛ Perfection exacts a price, but it's the imperfect who pay it. ❜ ❨69❩ ❛ What is 'belief' but a willingness to suspend the negatives?  ❜ ❨70❩ ❛ I have scars, inside me. ❜ ❨71❩ ❛ The dead are not entirely dead but are alive in a different way; a paler way admittedly, and somewhat darker. ❜ ❨72❩ ❛ However dark, a darkness with voices in it is better than a silent void. ❜ ❨73❩ ❛ Amazing how quickly the past becomes idyllic. ❜ ❨74❩ ❛ It is another way of saying tough luck. To people you aren’t going to help out. ❜ ❨75❩ ❛ I'm waiting, far off in the future. ❜ ❨76❩ ❛ The only sure camouflage is unpredictability. ❜ ❨77❩ ❛ There are so many of them, and each one of them is doing part of the killing, whether they know it or not. ❜ ❨78❩ ❛ First rule: limit bloodshed by making sure that none of your own gets spilled. ❜ ❨79❩ ❛ I long to swim in liquid moonlight. ❜ ❨80❩ ❛ That's right, I don’t like to be summoned on trivial matters. ❜ ❨81❩ ❛ The part that really made me happy was that you wanted me to be happy. ❜ ❨82❩ ❛ Cut that part out of us: the grinning, elemental malice. Begin us anew. ❜ ❨83❩ ❛ Where there are wars, there will be crows, the carrion-fanciers. And ravens too, the warbirds, the eyeball gourmands. And vultures, the holy birds of yore, old connoisseurs of rot. ❜ ❨84❩ ❛ At last. It's you. ❜ ❨85❩ ❛ No, you will not be cooked on a fire when you die. Because you are not a fish. ❜ ❨86❩ ❛ Take what the moment offers. Don’t close doors. Be thankful. ❜ ❨87❩ ❛ How many others have stood in this place? Left behind, with all gone, all swept away. ❜ ❨88❩ ❛ Is it disapproval or extreme lust? With some men it’s hard to tell the difference. ❜ ❨89❩ ❛ My hair was driving me crazy, but then … I died. ❜ ❨90❩ ❛ Seek and ye shall find, eventually. And you found. You’re right, I don’t dispute that. Sorry. ❜ ❨91❩ ❛ Everything digests, and is digested. ❜ ❨92❩ ❛ My head was once a filing cabinet. Now it’s a flurry of papers, floating on a draft. ❜ ❨93❩ ❛ You cannot keep bumping your head against reality and saying it is not there. ❜ ❨94❩ ❛ I have a feeling that inside you somewhere, there’s something nobody knows about. ❜ ❨95❩ ❛ And if I don’t want to die, I’ve got to start living. ❜ ❨96❩ ❛ The world is a beautiful place. Don’t forget that. And don’t miss it. ❜ ❨97❩ ❛ I was fighting for my life. So I must not want to die. ❜ ❨98❩ ❛ Something’s happening to me, through me, something dangerous and new. ❜ ❨99❩ ❛ It’s taken root, a poison tree; it’s grown, fanning out, vines winding round my gut, my lungs, my heart. ❜ ❨100❩ ❛ We’re interpreters. We’re translators. ❜ ❨101❩ ❛ You’ll notice I’m not asking what made you this way. ❜ ❨102❩ ❛ No family, happy or unhappy, is quite like any other. Tolstoy was chock-fullo’shit. Remember that. ❜ ❨103❩ ❛ We lived in monochrome those nights. ❜ ❨104❩ ❛ You live in a dream. You’re a sleepwalker, blind. How do you know what the world is like? ❜ ❨105❩ ❛ Do you know, if you rip off the fronts of houses, you’d find swine? ❜ ❨106❩ ❛ I stand here in the dark: cold, utterly alone, full of fear and something that feels like longing. ❜ ❨107❩ ❛ The definition of insanity is doing the same thing again and again and expecting different results. ❜ ❨108❩ ❛ Not to warm the flesh, but solely to please the eye. ❜ ❨109❩ ❛ Selective emotional detachment. ❜ ❨110❩ ❛ Not for me, or at least not today. ❜ ❨111❩ ❛ Dead but not gone, watching life surge forward around me, powerless to intervene. ❜ ❨112❩ ❛ Do I sound like a hillbilly saying that? ❜ ❨113❩ ❛ Remember, you’ve got your secret weapon. ❜ ❨114❩ ❛ The dream drains away like water. The memory, really. I try to scoop it up in my palms, but it’s gone. ❜ ❨115❩ ❛ My shadow stretches along the carpet, as though trying to detach itself from me. ❜ ❨116❩ ❛ It curls away from me, like blood in water. ❜ ❨117❩ ❛ It’s been so long since I felt the rain. Or wind—the caress of wind. ❜ ❨118❩ ❛ But snow I never want to feel again. ❜ ❨119❩ ❛ Through adversity to the stars. ❜ ❨120❩ ❛ No hero. No sleuth. I am locked in. I am locked out. ❜ ❨121❩ ❛ Thinking hasn't gotten me anywhere so far. ❜ ❨122❩ ❛ The face you give the world tells the world how to treat you. ❜ ❨123❩ ❛ Sometimes I think illness sits inside every woman, waiting for the right moment to bloom. ❜ ❨124❩ ❛ Women get consumed. ❜ ❨125❩ ❛ Sometimes if you let people do things to you, you're really doing it to them. ❜ ❨126❩ ❛ A child weaned on poison considers harm a comfort. ❜ ❨127❩ ❛ Safer to be feared than loved. ❜ ❨128❩ ❛ I ached once, hard, like a period typed at the end of a sentence. ❜ ❨129❩ ❛ It's impossible to compete with the dead. I wish I could stop trying. ❜ ❨130❩ ❛ I always feel sad for the girl that I was. ❜ ❨131❩ ❛ Every time people said I was pretty, I thought of everything ugly swarming beneath my clothes. ❜ ❨132❩ ❛ How do you keep safe when your whole day is as wide and empty as the sky? Anything could happen. ❜ ❨133❩ ❛ See, there I am. I told you I lived. I told you I was. ❜ ❨134❩ ❛ Sometimes I think I won't ever feel safe until I can count my last days on one hand. ❜ ❨135❩ ❛ To refuse has so many more consequences than submitting. ❜ ❨136❩ ❛ I'm here. I don't usually feel that I am. ❜ ❨137❩ ❛ I'm tired of dying. ❜ ❨138❩ ❛ What if you hurt because it feels so good? ❜ ❨139❩ ❛ How confusing to live in the shadow of a shadow. ❜ ❨140❩ ❛ Do you ever feel like bad things are going to happen, and you can’t stop them? You can’t do anything, you just have to wait? ❜ ❨141❩ ❛ Sometimes my scars have a mind of their own. ❜ ❨142❩ ❛ Everyone has their own version of a memory. ❜ ❨143❩ ❛ Isn’t a smile a girl’s best weapon? ❜ ❨144❩ ❛ My sense of weightlessness, I think, comes from the fact that I know so little about my past. ❜ ❨145❩ ❛ Do what I want; I might like you. ❜ ❨146❩ ❛ I feel sorry for Persephone because even when she’s back with the living, people are afraid of her because of where’s she’s been. ❜ ❨147❩ ❛ She has never told me she loved me, and I never assumed she did. ❜ ❨148❩ ❛ The sight of it actually does something to you, makes you less human. ❜ ❨149❩ ❛ It infects you. It ruined me. ❜ ❨150❩ ❛ Your health is not a debt you just cancel. The body collects. ❜ ❨151❩ ❛ Men love to put things inside women, don’t they? ❜ ❨152❩ ❛ We can know only that we know nothing. And that is the highest degree of human wisdom. ❜ ❨153❩ ❛ Nothing is so necessary for a young man as the company of intelligent women. ❜ ❨154❩ ❛ The strongest of all warriors are these two — time and patience. ❜ ❨155❩ ❛ If everyone fought for their own convictions there would be no war. ❜ ❨156❩ ❛ There is no greatness where there is not simplicity, goodness, and truth. ❜ ❨157❩ ❛ The whole world is divided for me into two parts: one is she, and there is all happiness, hope, light; the other is where she is not, and there is dejection and darkness. ❜ ❨158❩ ❛ Let the dead bury the dead, but while I'm alive, I must live and be happy. ❜ ❨159❩ ❛ It's not given to people to judge what's right or wrong. People have eternally been mistaken and will be mistaken, and in nothing more than in what they consider right and wrong. ❜ ❨160❩ ❛ You can love a person dear to you with a human love, but an enemy can only be loved with divine love. ❜ ❨161❩ ❛ If we admit that human life can be ruled by reason, then all possibility of life is destroyed. ❜ ❨162❩ ❛ We are asleep until we fall in love! ❜ ❨163❩ ❛ I simply want to live; to cause no evil to anyone but myself. ❜ ❨164❩ ❛ Everything I know, I know because of love. ❜ ❨165❩ ❛ Man cannot possess anything as long as he fears death. But to him who does not fear it, everything belongs. ❜ ❨166❩ ❛ If there was no suffering, man would not know his limits, would not know himself. ❜ ❨167❩ ❛ Yes, love, but not the love that loves for something, to gain something, or because of something, but that love that I felt for the first time, when dying, I saw my enemy and yet loved him. ❜ ❨168❩ ❛ How can one be well...when one suffers morally? ❜ ❨169❩ ❛ Kings are the slaves of history. ❜ ❨170❩ ❛ God is the same everywhere. ❜ ❨171❩ ❛ Pure and complete sorrow is as impossible as pure and complete joy. ❜ ❨172❩ ❛ One must be cunning and wicked in this world. ❜ ❨173❩ ❛ We love people not so much for the good they've done us, as for the good we've done them. ❜ ❨174❩ ❛ When one's head is gone one doesn't weep over one's hair! ❜ ❨175❩ ❛ For what, for whom, must I kill and be killed? ❜ ❨176❩ ❛ He did what heroes do after their work is accomplished; he died. ❜ ❨177❩ ❛ Life is too long to say anything definitely; always say perhaps. ❜ ❨178❩ ❛ Everything ends in death, everything. Death is terrible. ❜ ❨179❩ ❛ The distant and impossible suddenly became near, possible, and inevitable. ❜ ❨180❩ ❛ How often we sin, how much we deceive, and all for what? ❜ ❨181❩ ❛ The wolves should be fed and the sheep kept safe. ❜ ❨182❩ ❛ When I was a child, adults would tell me not to make things up, warning me of what would happen if I did. ❜ ❨183❩ ❛ My memory is a patchwork of occurrences, of discontinuous events roughly sewn together: the parts I remember, I remember precisely, whilst other sections seem to have vanished completely. ❜ ❨184❩ ❛ Would it be worse to love someone who is no longer there, or not to love someone who is? ❜ ❨185❩ ❛ Like mirrors stories prepare us for the day to come. They distract us from the things in darkness. ❜ ❨186❩ ❛ It is not that I was credulous, simply that I believed in all things dark and dangerous. ❜ ❨187❩ ❛ Sometimes you do things you regret, but there's nothing you can do about them. Times change. Doors close behind you. You move on. ❜ ❨188❩ ❛ Love will be an impulse that will inspire and ruin in equal measure. ❜ ❨189❩ ❛ He died alone. It don't matter a rat's ass whether there was anyone with him or not. He died alone. ❜ ❨190❩ ❛ It was love, I knew, and it tasted like champagne in my mind. ❜ ❨191❩ ❛ The end of the world is a strange concept. The world is always ending, and the end is always being averted, by love or foolishness or just plain old dumb luck. ❜ ❨192❩ ❛ She was my dream; and if you touch a dream it vanishes, like a soap bubble. ❜ ❨193❩ ❛ Daylight is always safe. ❜ ❨194❩ ❛ If not for death, they'd be content to simply exist, but with death, well, their lives will have meaning. ❜ ❨195❩ ❛ You want to know the future, love? Then wait. ❜ ❨196❩ ❛ There are things in the darkness beneath us that wish us harm. ❜ ❨197❩ ❛ Fairy tales are more than true. Not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be defeated ❜ ❨198❩ ❛ But sometimes you leave blood on your instruments. ❜ ❨199❩ ❛ I'd like to be a wolf. Not all the time. Just sometimes. In the dark. I would run through the forests. ❜ ❨200❩ ❛ You've seen them. They have mouths that twitch, and eyes that stare, and they babble and they mewl and they whimper. ❜ ❨201❩ ❛ They are not mad, or rather, the loss of their sanity is the lesser of their problems. ❜ ❨202❩ ❛ Good a reason for writing as I know: releasing demons, letting them fly. ❜ ❨203❩ ❛ That miserable state in which everything seems flat and of equal importance; when nothing matters, and in which reality seems scraped thin and threadbare. ❜ ❨204❩ ❛ Someone had scrawled graffiti in black marker on the metal: JUST DIE, it said. Like it is easy. ❜ ❨205❩ ❛ Winter started today. The sky turned grey and the snow began to fall and it did not stop falling until well after dark. ❜ ❨206❩ ❛ Memory is the great deceiver. ❜ ❨207❩ ❛ Silly things do cease to be silly if they are done by sensible people in an impudent way. ❜ ❨208❩ ❛ I may have lost my heart, but not my self-control.  ❜ ❨209❩ ❛ If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more. ❜ ❨210❩ ❛ I always deserve the best treatment because I never put up with any other. ❜ ❨211❩ ❛ But you know what I am. You hear nothing but truth from me. ❜ ❨212❩ ❛ I have blamed you, and lectured you, and you have borne it as no other would have borne it. ❜ ❨213❩ ❛ There are people, who the more you do for them, the less they will do for themselves. ❜ ❨214❩ ❛ One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other. ❜ ❨215❩ ❛ Better be without sense than misapply it as you do. ❜ ❨216❩ ❛ You must be the best judge of your own happiness. ❜ ❨217❩ ❛ Were I to fall in love, indeed, it would be a different thing ; but I have never been in love ; it is not my way, or my nature ; and I do not think I ever shall. ❜ ❨218❩ ❛ Indeed, I am very sorry to be right in this instance. I would much rather have been merry than wise. ❜ ❨219❩ ❛ If I have not spoken, it is because I am afraid I will awaken myself from this dream. ❜ ❨220❩ ❛ If a woman doubts as to whether she should accept a man or not, she certainly ought to refuse him. ❜ ❨221❩ ❛ Faultless in spite of all her faults. ❜ ❨222❩ ❛ A heroine whom no one but myself will much like. ❜ ❨223❩ ❛ There is no charm equal to tenderness of heart. ❜ ❨224❩ ❛ Full many a flower is born to blush unseen, and waste its fragrance on the desert air. ❜ ❨225❩ ❛ I pity you. I thought you cleverer. ❜ ❨226❩ ❛ Evil to some is always good to others. ❜ ❨227❩ ❛ I certainly will not persuade myself to feel more than I do. ❜ ❨228❩ ❛ She is loveliness itself. ❜ ❨229❩ ❛ Time does not compose me. ❜ ❨230❩ ❛ A man always imagines a woman to be ready for anybody who asks her. ❜ ❨231❩ ❛ I do not find myself making any use of the word sacrifice. ❜ ❨232❩ ❛ I am quite enough in love. I should be sorry to be any more. ❜ ❨233❩ ❛ I must tell you what you will not ask, though I may wish it unsaid the next moment. ❜ ❨234❩ ❛ I examined my own heart. And there you were. Never, I fear, to be removed. ❜ ❨235❩ ❛ With all your little faults, you are an excellent creature. ❜ ❨236❩ ❛ You have another long walk before you. ❜ ❨237❩ ❛ The child's laughter is pure until he first laughs at a clown. ❜ ❨238❩ ❛ What is marriage but prostitution to one man instead of many? ❜ ❨239❩ ❛ Out of the frying pan into the fire! ❜ ❨240❩ ❛ We must all make do with the rags of love we find flapping on the scarecrow of humanity. ❜ ❨241❩ ❛ She sleeps. And now she wakes each day a little less. ❜ ❨242❩ ❛ And, oh, God . . . how frequently I weep! ❜ ❨243❩ ❛ From the coffin of your madness there is no escape. ❜ ❨244❩ ❛ I am feeling supernatural tonight. I want to eat diamonds. ❜ ❨245❩ ❛ All the same there is a chance that if we keep on shaking our chains, one day, some day, the clasps upon the shackles will part. ❜ ❨246❩ ❛ It was sad music fit to make you cut your throat. ❜ ❨247❩ ❛ Nothing is more boring than being forced to play. ❜ ❨248❩ ❛ Amongst the monsters, I am well hidden; who looks for a leaf in a forest? ❜ ❨249❩ ❛ Wherein does a woman’s honour reside? In her vagina or in her spirit? ❜ ❨250❩ ❛ Perhaps...I could not be content with mere contentment! ❜ ❨251❩ ❛ Have you ever stared stark failure in the face? The trick is to outstare it. ❜ ❨252❩ ❛ Sometimes it seems that the faces exist of themselves, in a disembodied somewhere, waiting for the one who will wear them, who will bring them to life. ❜ ❨253❩ ❛ I have the febrile gaiety of a being without a past, without a present, yet I exist. ❜ ❨254❩ ❛ I felt myself turning, willy-nilly, from a woman into an idea. ❜ ❨255❩ ❛ She looks wonderful, but she doesn't look right. ❜ ❨256❩ ❛ The one-eyed man will be King in the country of the blind. ❜ ❨257❩ ❛ I raised you up to fly to the heavens, not to brood over a clutch of eggs! ❜ ❨258❩ ❛ I love to hear my bones rattle. That’s how I know I’m alive. ❜ ❨259❩ ❛ I learnt, first, as the birds do, from the birds. ❜ ❨260❩ ❛ Inside and outside match exactly, but both are badly wrong. ❜ ❨261❩ ❛ During the less-than-blink of time it took the last chime to die, there came a vertiginous sensation. ❜ ❨262❩ ❛ I fear a wound not of the body but the soul, an irreconcilable division between myself and the rest of humankind. ❜ ❨263❩ ❛ I fear the proof of my own singularity. ❜ ❨264❩ ❛ Still nothing could calm the fearful storm in my erupting skin. ❜ ❨265❩ ❛ Petersburg, loveliest of all hallucinations. ❜ ❨266❩ ❛ A breathless second between black forest and the frozen sea. ❜ ❨267❩ ❛ I'm beginning to feel totally cut off from the world. ❜ ❨268❩ ❛ What does this all mean? Where are we? ❜ ❨269❩ ❛ Sometimes I bleed. ❜ ❨270❩ ❛ If you see a ghost, you say "hello". ❜ ❨271❩ ❛ The war is not over. ❜ ❨272❩ ❛ You're not going. You left us once already. ❜ ❨273❩ ❛ You can’t go! ❜ ❨274❩ ❛ I loved you, but that wasn't enough, was it? ❜ ❨275❩ ❛ If you're dead, then leave me in peace. ❜ ❨276❩ ❛ The only thing that moves here is the light, but it changes everything. ❜ ❨277❩ ❛ I won't ask for forgiveness for something I didn't do! ❜ ❨278❩ ❛ Sometimes the world of the living gets mixed up with the world of the dead. ❜ ❨279❩ ❛ Death of a loved one can lead people to do the strangest things. ❜ ❨280❩ ❛ Sooner or later, they will find you. ❜ ❨281❩ ❛ They're everywhere - they say this house is theirs. ❜ ❨282❩ ❛ You're always teasing me, and telling lies. I'm sick of it. ❜ ❨283❩ ❛ Others will come. Sometimes we'll sense them. Other times, we won't. ❜ ❨284❩ ❛ No crying now. No crying. Stop that. Here. Look what an awful face you've got when you cry. ❜ ❨285❩ ❛ You listen to me. I've seen them too. ❜ ❨286❩ ❛ You'll see. There are going to be some big surprises. There are going to be... changes. ❜ ❨287❩ ❛ Why did you go and fight that stupid war that had nothing to do with us? Why didn't you stay like the others did? ❜ ❨288❩ ❛ Your place was here with your family. ❜ ❨289❩ ❛ So you say you know this house well? ❜ ❨290❩ ❛ I wasn't expecting you so soon. ❜ ❨291❩ ❛ What's the matter? Has the cat got your tongue? ❜ ❨292❩ ❛ You mean they just vanished? Into thin air? ❜ ❨293❩ ❛ No door must be opened without the previous one being closed first. ❜ ❨294❩ ❛ Here, most of the time, you can hardly see your way. ❜ ❨295❩ ❛ Whatever you do, don't open the curtains. ❜ ❨296❩ ❛ Now, come on. Eyes closed. ❜ ❨297❩ ❛ We start off with high hopes, then we bottle it. We realise that we’re all going to die, without really finding out the big answers. ❜ ❨298❩ ❛ By definition, you have to live until you die. Better to make that life as complete and enjoyable an experience as possible, in case death is shite, which I suspect it will be. ❜ ❨299❩ ❛ I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin’ else. ❜ ❨300❩ ❛ And the reasons? There are no reasons. ❜ ❨301❩ ❛ Love does not exist, it's like religion, made to control you. ❜ ❨302❩ ❛ After all, we're not fucking stupid. At least, we're not that fucking stupid. ❜ ❨303❩ ❛ You fucking knew that fucking cunt would fuck some cunt. ❜ ❨304❩ ❛ Everything in the street today seems soft focus. ❜ ❨305❩ ❛ What does that make us? The lowest of the low. ❜ ❨306❩ ❛ Take your best orgasm, multiply the feeling by twenty, and you're still fuckin’ miles off the pace. ❜ ❨307❩ ❛ It’s as if everything is a copy of what you knew before, similar, yet somehow lacking in its usual qualities, a bit like the way things are in a dream. ❜ ❨308❩ ❛ It’s all okay, it’s all beautiful; but I fear that this internal sea is going to subside soon, leaving this poisonous shite washed up, stranded up in my body. ❜ ❨309❩ ❛ It cuts me up. It confuses me. ❜ ❨310❩ ❛ It's not funny laughter. This is lynch mob laughter. ❜ ❨311❩ ❛ Protect me from those who wish to help us. ❜ ❨312❩ ❛ They mean well, and they mean well to me, but there's no way under the sun that they can appreciate what I feel, what I need. ❜ ❨313❩ ❛ The pit of melancholy is a bottomless one, and I am descending fast. ❜ ❨314❩ ❛ Living like this is a full-time business. ❜ ❨315❩ ❛ I’ll stand or fall alone. ❜ ❨316❩ ❛ We are no wiser now than at the start. ❜ ❨317❩ ❛ This is pathetic, and fucking boring. ❜ ❨318❩ ❛ Death is usually a process, rather than an event. ❜ ❨319❩ ❛ We're ruled by effete arseholes. What does that make us? ❜ ❨320❩ ❛ We are all acquaintances now. ❜ ❨321❩ ❛ The problem is that this beautiful ocean carries with it loads of poisonous flotsam and jetsam. ❜ ❨322❩ ❛ Life is beautiful. I'm going to enjoy it, and I'm going to have a long life. ❜ ❨323❩ ❛ The grim reality of impending death can be talked away by trying to invest in the present reality of life. ❜ ❨324❩ ❛ There must be more to life than this. ❜ ❨325❩ ❛ We all see what we want to see. ❜ ❨326❩ ❛ Statistically speaking, you're more likely to be killed by a member of your own family or a close friend, than by anyone else. ❜ ❨327❩ ❛ What am I living for and what am I dying for are the same question. ❜ ❨328❩ ❛ Maybe that's what love is: it's being pissed off. ❜ ❨329❩ ❛ You can forget who you are if you're alone too much. ❜ ❨330❩ ❛ Any religion is a shadow of God. But the shadows of God are not God. ❜ ❨331❩ ❛ Human understanding is fallible, and we see through a glass, darkly.  ❜ ❨332❩ ❛ We must be a beacon of hope, because if you tell people there's nothing they can do, they will do worse than nothing. ❜ ❨333❩ ❛ Everyone wants to feel like a princess, and princesses are selfish and overbearing. ❜ ❨334❩ ❛ We shouldn't have been so scornful; we should have had compassion. But compassion takes work, and we were young. ❜ ❨335❩ ❛ How easy it is, treachery. You just slide into it. ❜ ❨336❩ ❛ Amazing how the heart clutches at anything familiar, whimpering: Mine! Mine! ❜ ❨337❩ ❛ All creatures know that some must die ; that all the rest may take and eat. ❜ ❨338❩ ❛ Is this the image of a god? My tooth for yours, your eye for mine? ❜ ❨339❩ ❛ Without the light, no chance; without the dark, no dance. ❜ ❨340❩ ❛ Why are we designed to see the world as supremely beautiful just as we're about to be snuffed? Do rabbits feel the same as the fox teeth bite down on their necks? Is it mercy? ❜ ❨341❩ ❛ Love is useless, it leads you into dumb exchanges in which you give too much away, and then you get bitter and mean. ❜ ❨342❩ ❛ Maybe sadness is a kind of hunger. Maybe the two go together. ❜ ❨343❩ ❛ Now I can see how that can happen. You can fall in love with anybody -- a fool, a criminal, a nothing. There are no good rules. ❜ ❨344❩ ❛ If you really want to stay the same age you are now forever and ever, try jumping off the roof: death's a sure-fire method for stopping time. ❜ ❨345❩ ❛ You couldn’t leave words lying around where our enemies might find them. ❜ ❨346❩ ❛ I'm fine, for the moment. And the moment is the only time we can be fine in. ❜ ❨347❩ ❛ Because if you can't wish, why bother? ❜ ❨348❩ ❛ It's better to hope than mope! ❜ ❨349❩ ❛ Reality has too much darkness in it. Too many crows. ❜ ❨350❩ ❛ In any case, time is not a thing that passes, it’s a sea on which you float. ❜ ❨351❩ ❛ I know I’m deceiving myself, but I prefer to deceive myself. I desperately need to believe such pure joy is still possible. ❜ ❨352❩ ❛ Too much God and you overdose. God needs to be filtered. ❜ ❨353❩ ❛ Behind my eyelids I saw an animal. It was golden colour, with gentle green eyes and canine teeth, and curly wool instead of fur. It opened its mouth, but it did not speak. Instead, it yawned. ❜ ❨354❩ ❛ ‘Why can't I believe?’ I asked the darkness. ❜ ❨355❩ ❛ Everyone’s too sad for everything. ❜ ❨356❩ ❛ If you can’t stop the waves, go sailing. ❜ ❨357❩ ❛ I would like to be the air that inhabits you for a moment only. I would like to be that unnoticed and that necessary. ❜ ❨358❩ ❛ Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them. ❜ ❨359❩ ❛ In the end, we'll all become stories. ❜ ❨360❩ ❛ I am inadequate and stupid, without worth. I might as well be dead. ❜ ❨361❩ ❛ If you knew what was going to happen, if you knew everything that was going to happen next—if you knew in advance the consequences of your own actions—you'd be doomed. You'd be ruined as God. ❜ ❨362❩ ❛ If you can't go through an obstacle, go around it. ❜ ❨363❩ ❛ Stupidity is the same as evil if you judge by the results. ❜ ❨364❩ ❛ Time in dreams is frozen. You can never get away from where you've been. ❜ ❨365❩ ❛ Male fantasies, male fantasies, is everything run by male fantasies? ❜ ❨366❩ ❛ We still think of a powerful man as a born leader and a powerful woman as an anomaly. ❜ ❨367❩ ❛ If I love you, is that a fact or a weapon? ❜ ❨368❩ ❛ You fit into me like a hook into an eye. ❜ ❨369❩ ❛ Knowing too much about other people puts you in their power, they have a claim on you, you are forced to understand their reasons for doing things and then you are weakened. ❜ ❨370❩ ❛ Farewells can be shattering, but returns are surely worse. ❜ ❨371❩ ❛ Women have curious ways of hurting someone else. ❜ ❨372❩ ❛ This is the one song everyone would like to learn: the song that is irresistible: the song that forces men to leap overboard in squadrons. ❜ ❨373❩ ❛ Get rid of death. Make it be spring. ❜ ❨374❩ ❛ You are innocent as a bathtub full of bullets. ❜ ❨375❩ ❛ I am the space you desecrate as you pass through. ❜ ❨376❩ ❛ Favour me and give me riches, destroy my enemies. Save me from death. ❜ ❨377❩ ❛ She is a raw voice loose in the rooms beneath me. ❜ ❨378❩ ❛ Isn't the moon warm enough for you, why do you need the blanket of another body? ❜ ❨379❩ ❛ This is a torch song. Touch me and you'll burn. ❜ ❨380❩ ❛ If you look long enough eventually you will see me. ❜ ❨381❩ ❛ I would like to sleep with you, to enter your sleep as its smooth dark wave slides over my head. ❜ ❨382❩ ❛ I would like to give you the silver branch, the small white flower, the one word that will protect you from the grief. ❜ ❨383❩ ❛ But some people can't tell where it hurts. They can't calm down. They can't ever stop howling. ❜ ❨384❩ ❛ How else can we live, these days, except in the midst of ruin? ❜ ❨385❩ ❛ What am I living for and what am I dying for are the same question. ❜ ❨386❩ ❛ Gods always come in handy, they justify almost anything. ❜ ❨387❩ ❛ We loved with a love that was more than love. ❜ ❨388❩ ❛ Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before. ❜ ❨389❩ ❛ The boundaries which divide life from death are at best shadowy and vague. Who shall say where the one ends, and where the other begins? ❜ ❨390❩ ❛ There is no exquisite beauty without some strangeness in the proportion. ❜ ❨391❩ ❛ Never to suffer would never to have been blessed. ❜ ❨392❩ ❛ Believe only half of what you see and nothing that you hear. ❜ ❨393❩ ❛ And all I loved, I loved alone. ❜ ❨394❩ ❛ Years of love have been forgot, in the hatred of a minute. ❜ ❨395❩ ❛ The best things in life make you sweaty. ❜ ❨396❩ ❛ There are some secrets which do not permit themselves to be told. ❜ ❨397❩ ❛ Anything is better than this agony. ❜ ❨398❩ ❛ You fancy me mad. ❜ ❨399❩ ❛ I hear all things in the heaven and in the earth. ❜ ❨400❩ ❛ Who dares insult us with this blasphemous mockery? ❜ ❨401❩ ❛ Leave my loneliness unbroken! ❜ ❨402❩ ❛ A more than fiendish malevolence, gin-nurtured, thrills every fibre of my frame. ❜ ❨403❩ ❛ The fury of a demon instantly possessed me. I knew myself no longer. ❜ ❨404❩ ❛ Let my heart be still a moment. ❜ ❨405❩ ❛ You call it hope —  It is but agony of desire. ❜ ❨406❩ ❛ Who has not, a hundred times, found himself committing a vile or silly action for no other reason than because he knows he should not? ❜ ❨407❩ ❛ To die laughing must be the most glorious of all glorious deaths! ❜ ❨408❩ ❛ The beating of a drum stimulates the soldier into courage. ❜ ❨409❩ ❛ Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practise to deceive. ❜ ❨410❩ ❛ I have been happy, though in a dream. ❜ ❨411❩ ❛ Nevermore. ❜ ❨412❩ ❛ The truth is, I am heartily sick of this life. ❜ ❨413❩ ❛ I am convinced that every thing is going wrong. ❜ ❨414❩ ❛ The scariest monsters are the ones that lurk within our souls. ❜ ❨415❩ ❛ And if I died, at least I will have died for you! ❜ ❨416❩ ❛ It is impossible to say how first the idea entered my brain; but once conceived, it haunted me day and night. ❜ ❨417❩ ❛ Hurt and humiliation — But this, I can not take. ❜ ❨418❩ ❛ The walls in there have ears. ❜ ❨419❩ ❛ This is for your ears only. ❜ ❨420❩ ❛ What is it? You have me scared. ❜ ❨421❩ ❛ Whoever isn’t for us, is against us. ❜ ❨422❩ ❛ You are just a body; to be dumped, disposed of like a carcass, left out for the birds to feed on. ❜ ❨423❩ ❛ The dead will have to forgive me. ❜ ❨424❩ ❛ From now on and no matter how your mind may I change, I will not accept your help. ❜ ❨425❩ ❛ If death comes, so be it. There will be glory in it. ❜ ❨426❩ ❛ Live, then; and live with your choice. ❜ ❨427❩ ❛ I am doing what has to be done. ❜ ❨428❩ ❛ Nothing is going to stop the ones that love you from keeping on loving you. ❜ ❨429❩ ❛ Worst is the man who has all the good advice, and then because his nerve fails, fails to act in accordance with it, as a leader should. ❜ ❨430❩ ❛ Only a loony would walk himself into this. ❜ ❨431❩ ❛ Why do you need such fences and defences? ❜ ❨432❩ ❛ Enough. Do not anger me. ❜ ❨433❩ ❛ The gods, you think, will side with the likes of him? ❜ ❨434❩ ❛ Watch it. You are over stepping. ❜ ❨435❩ ❛ I warn you. You should keep a civil tongue. ❜ ❨436❩ ❛ There is no such thing as an oath the can not be broken. ❜ ❨437❩ ❛ Every now and then, the things you’d hardly let yourself imagine, actually happen. ❜ ❨438❩ ❛ And you stand over this? This is the truth? ❜ ❨439❩ ❛ The bigger the resistance, the bigger the collapse. ❜ ❨440❩ ❛ Iron that’s forged the hardest, snaps the quickest. ❜ ❨441❩ ❛ Even the wildest horses come to heel when they are reined & bitted right. ❜ ❨442❩ ❛ That’s how guilt affects some people. They break and everything comes out. ❜ ❨443❩ ❛ Will it be enough for you? To see me executed? ❜ ❨444❩ ❛ So you know something no one else knows? ❜ ❨445❩ ❛ They know it too. They are just too afraid to say it. ❜ ❨446❩ ❛ If you die, how will I keep on living? ❜ ❨447❩ ❛ There was a star riding through clouds one night, & I said to the star, 'Consume me'. ❜ ❨448❩ ❛ How much better to sit by myself like the solitary sea-bird that opens its wings on the stake. ❜ ❨449❩ ❛ Alone, I often fall down into nothingness. I have to bang my head against some hard door to call myself back to the body. ❜ ❨450❩ ❛ I am made and remade continually. Different people draw different words from me. ❜ ❨451❩ ❛ For this moment, this one moment, we are together.  ❜ ❨452❩ ❛ Come, pain, feed on me. Bury your fangs in my flesh. Tear me asunder. ❜ ❨453❩ ❛ I am as neat as a cat in my habits. ❜ ❨454❩ ❛ Everything falls in a tremendous shower, dissolving me. ❜ ❨455❩ ❛ I am the foam that sweeps and fills the uttermost rims of the rocks with whiteness; I am also a girl, here in this room. ❜ ❨456❩ ❛ We are cut, we are fallen. We are become part of that unfeeling universe ❨457❩ that sleeps when we are at our quickest and burns red when we lie ❨458❩ asleep. ❜ ❨459❩ ❛ These moments of escape are not to be despised. They come too seldom. ❜ ❨460❩ ❛ Up here my eyes are green leaves, unseeing. ❜ ❨461❩ ❛ The moment is all; the moment is enough. ❜ ❨462❩ ❛ I do not want to be admired. I want to give, to be given. ❜ ❨463❩ ❛ I am not one and simple, but complex and many. ❜ ❨464❩ ❛ And if you are dead, I shall weep. ❜ ❨465❩ ❛ But beauty must be broken daily to remain beautiful. ❜ ❨466❩ ❛ But our hatred is almost indistinguishable from our love. ❜ ❨467❩ ❛ I desired always to stretch the night and fill it fuller and fuller with dreams. ❜ ❨468❩ ❛ Life is a dream surely. ❜ ❨469❩ ❛ I think sometimes I am not a woman, but the light that falls on this gate, on this ground. I am the seasons, I think sometimes, January, May, November; the mud, the mist, the dawn. ❜ ❨470❩ ❛ Oh, I am in love with life! ❜ ❨471❩ ❛ I have been knotted; I have been torn apart. ❜ ❨472❩ ❛ There was no freedom in life, and certainly there was none in death. ❜ ❨473❩ ❛ I do not know. I do not know myself sometimes, or how to measure and name and count out the grains that make me what I am. ❜ ❨474❩ ❛ I ride rough waters, and shall sink with no one to save me. ❜ ❨475❩ ❛ I am above the earth now. I am no longer upright, to be knocked against and damaged. ❜ ❨476❩ ❛ I see it all. I feel it all. ❜ ❨477❩ ❛ Death is woven in with the violets. Death and again death. ❜ ❨478❩ ❛ We have been walking for hours it seems. But where? I cannot remember. ❜ ❨479❩ ❛ If we were all on trial for our thoughts, we would all be hanged. ❜ ❨480❩ ❛ When you are in the middle of a story it isn't a story at all, but only a confusion; a dark roaring, a blindness, a wreckage of shattered glass. ❜ ❨481❩ ❛ Murderess is a strong word to have attached to you. It has a smell to it, that word; - musky and oppressive, like dead flowers in a vase.  ❜ ❨482❩ ❛ Sometimes at night I whisper it over to myself: Murderess, murderess. It rustles, like a taffeta skirt across the floor. ❜ ❨483❩ ❛ If the world treats you well, you come to believe you are deserving of it. ❜ ❨484❩ ❛ If I am good enough and quiet enough, perhaps after all they will let me go. ❜ ❨485❩ ❛ It’s not easy being quiet and good, it’s like hanging on to the edge of a bridge when you’ve already fallen over; you don’t seem to be moving, just dangling there, and yet it is taking all your strength. ❜ ❨486❩ ❛ There is no fool like an educated fool. ❜ ❨487❩ ❛ There are many dangerous things that may take place in a bed. ❜ ❨488❩ ❛ I am afraid of falling into hopeless despair, over my wasted life, and I am still not sure how it happened. ❜ ❨489❩ ❛ Underneath it all is another feeling, a feeling of being wide-eyed awake and watchful. ❜ ❨490❩ ❛ And underneath all that is another feeling still, a feeling like being torn open; not like a body of flesh, it is not painful as such, but like a peach; and not even torn open, but ripe and splitting open of its own accord.  ❜ ❨491❩ ❛ The small details of life often hide a great significance. ❜ ❨492❩ ❛ Guilt comes to you not from the things you've done, but from the things that others have done to you. ❜ ❨493❩ ❛ I wonder, how can I be all of these different things at once? ❜ ❨494❩ ❛ It is always a mistake to curse back openly at those who are stronger than you unless there is a fence between. ❜ ❨495❩ ❛ Some call this "Eve's curse," but I think that is stupid because the real curse of Eve was having to put up with the nonsense of Adam. ❜ ❨496❩ ❛ I don't know why they are all so eager to be remembered. What good will it do them? There are some things that should be forgotten by everyone, and never spoken of again. ❜ ❨497❩ ❛ I would never blame a human creature for feeling lonely. ❜ ❨498❩ ❛ If they want a monster so badly they ought to be provided by one. ❜ ❨499❩ ❛ It’s as if I never existed, because no trace of me remains, I have left no marks. And that way I cannot be followed. It is almost the same as being innocent. ❜ ❨500❩ ❛ Today you wear your habitual expression of strained anxiety; you smell of violets. ❜ ❨501❩ ❛ Of course you have always been an idealist, and filled with your optimistic dreams; but reality must at some time obtrude. ❜ ❨502❩ ❛ I wonder what would become of me, and comfort myself that in a hundred years I will be dead and at peace. ❜ ❨503❩ ❛ For it is not always the one that strikes the blow that is the actual murderer. ❜ ❨504❩ ❛ There is a “do this” or “do that” with God, but not any “because”. ❜ ❨505❩ ❛ If you have a need and they find it out, they will use it against you. The best way is to stop from wanting anything. ❜ ❨506❩ ❛ They say, why don’t you ever smile or laugh, we never see you smiling, and I say I suppose I have gotten out of the way of it, my face won’t bend in that direction any more. ❜ ❨507❩ ❛ I was shut up inside that doll of myself, and my true voice could not get out. ❜ ❨508❩ ❛ I see what you’re after. You are a collector. You think all you have to do is give me an apple, and then you can collect me. ❜ ❨509❩ ❛ If you want to be an asshole, it's a free country. Millions before you have made the same life choice. ❜ ❨510❩ ❛ Then there's the future. Sheer vertigo. ❜ ❨511❩ ❛ Nature is to zoos as God is to churches. ❜ ❨512❩ ❛ After everything that's happened, how can the world still be so beautiful? ❜ ❨513❩ ❛ There's something to be said for hunger: at least it lets you know you're still alive. ❜ ❨514❩ ❛ These things sneak up on me for no reason, these flashes of irrational happiness. It's probably a vitamin deficiency. ❜ ❨515❩ ❛ Toast cannot be explained by any rational means. Toast is me. I am toast. ❜ ❨516❩ ❛ You can’t buy it, but it has a price. Everything has a price. ❜ ❨517❩ ❛ As a species were doomed by hope, then? You could call it hope. That, or desperation. ❜ ❨518❩ ❛ I am not my childhood. ❜ ❨519❩ ❛ Human beings hope they can stick their souls into someone else and live on forever. ❜ ❨520❩ ❛ “I'll make you mine”, lovers said in old books. They never said, “I'll make you me.” ❜ ❨521❩ ❛ How much is too much, how far is too far? ❜ ❨522❩ ❛ Expectation isn't the same as desire. ❜ ❨523❩ ❛ Why not cut to the chase? ❜ ❨524❩ ❛ Maybe there aren't any solutions. Human society, corpses and rubble. ❜ ❨525❩ ❛ I thought you didn’t believe in God. ❜ ❨526❩ ❛ I need at least the illusion of being understood. ❜ ❨527❩ ❛ What change would have altered the course of events? In the big picture, nothing. In the small picture, so much. ❜ ❨528❩ ❛ You are only looking at the dirt under your feet. It's not good for you. ❜ ❨529❩ ❛ I like to keep only the bright side of myself turned towards you.  ❜ ❨530❩ ❛ Grief in the face of inevitable death. The wish to stop time. The human condition. ❜ ❨531❩ ❛ So many crucial events take place behind people’s backs, when they aren’t in a position to watch: birth and death, for instance. ❜ ❨532❩ ❛ Would you kill someone you loved to spare them pain? ❜ ❨533❩ ❛ When the water’s moving faster than the boat, you can’t control a thing. ❜ ❨534❩ ❛ Don't be so fucking sentimental. ❜ ❨535❩ ❛ Wrong, as usual. ❜ ❨536❩ ❛ Why do you want to talk about ugly things? ❜ ❨537❩ ❛ I understand why serial killers send helpful clues to the police. ❜ ❨538❩ ❛ Take your time, leave mine alone. ❜ ❨539❩ ❛ You will hear thunder and remember me. ❜ ❨540❩ ❛ If you were music, I would listen to you ceaselessly. ❜ ❨541❩ ❛ I seem to myself an accidental guest in this dreadful body. ❜ ❨542❩ ❛ Call me a sinner, mock me maliciously. ❜ ❨543❩ ❛ I, from the very beginning, seemed to myself like someone's dream or delirium. Or a reflection in someone else's mirror. Without flesh, without meaning, without a name. ❜ ❨544❩ ❛ I knew the list of crimes that I was destined to commit. ❜ ❨545❩ ❛ The future ripens in the past, so the past rots in the future. ❜ ❨546❩ ❛ You are untranslatable into any one tongue. ❜ ❨547❩ ❛ I was hoping my silence would fit yours. ❜ ❨548❩ ❛ See, we were never about butterflies. All about us is unearthly and radiant. ❜ ❨549❩ ❛ You do not know just what you've been forgiven. ❜ ❨550❩ ❛ I need to slaughter my memory.  ❜ ❨551❩ ❛ Forgive me that I appeared to you in waking dreams. ❜ ❨552❩ ❛ I will condemn, I will forget, I will give comfort to the enemy. ❜ ❨553❩ ❛ I know beginnings, I know endings too, and life-in-death. ❜ ❨554❩ ❛ Wild honey smells of freedom. But gold smells of nothing. ❜ ❨555❩ ❛ You are three times more beautiful than angels. ❜ ❨556❩ ❛ I will kill you without spilling your blood on the ground, not touching you with my hand, not giving you one glance. ❜ ❨557❩ ❛ You invented me. There is no such earthly being. ❜ ❨558❩ ❛ You’re late. Way too late. I’m glad to see you, nonetheless. ❜ ❨559❩ ❛ Forgive me that I felt forsaken. Forgive me that I kept mistaking too many others for you. ❜ ❨560❩ ❛ Real tenderness can’t be confused, it’s quiet and can’t be heard. ❜ ❨561❩ ❛ What else lived in that house besides us? ❜ ❨562❩ ❛ How unhappy we are together! ❜ ❨563❩ ❛ I defend not my voice, but my silence. ❜ ❨564❩ ❛ Without love, I'm more at ease, I'm sure. ❜ ❨565❩ ❛ I've got no more tears or explanations. ❜ ❨566❩ ❛ I’m not complaining. Happiness is not for me. ❜ ❨567❩ ❛ Are you not the only tie between good and evil, earthly pits and paradise? ❜ ❨568❩ ❛ In the morning we shall find out who has died in the night. ❜ ❨569❩ ❛ I was not a lovable child, and I've grown into a deeply unlovable adult. ❜ ❨570❩ ❛ The truly frightening flaw in humanity is our capacity for cruelty - we all have it. ❜ ❨571❩ ❛ I have a meanness inside me, real as an organ. Slit me at my belly and it might slide out, meaty and dark. ❜ ❨572❩ ❛ I am not angry or sad or happy to see you. I could not give a shit. You don't even ripple. ❜ ❨573❩ ❛ I was raised feral, and I mostly stayed that way. ❜ ❨574❩ ❛ I can feel a better version of me somewhere in there - hidden behind a liver or attached to a bit of spleen. But the meanness usually wins out. ❜ ❨575❩ ❛ I felt something loosen in me, that shouldn't have loosened. A stitch come undone. ❜ ❨576❩ ❛ Everyone who keeps a secret, itches to tell it. ❜ ❨577❩ ❛ Coffee goes great with sudden death. ❜ ❨578❩ ❛ I should just listen to my gut and then do the opposite. ❜ ❨579❩ ❛ “Smile, it can't be that bad!” Yeah, actually, it can, jackwad. ❜ ❨580❩ ❛ Everything bad in the world already did happen. ❜ ❨581❩ ❛ You’re going to find peace? Like knowing is somehow going to fix you? ❜ ❨582❩ ❛ Instead of asking yourself what happened, just accept that it happened. ❜ ❨583❩ ❛ Homesick for a place I've never been. ❜ ❨584❩ ❛ Worries find you easily enough without inviting them. ❜ ❨585❩ ❛ It is always consoling to think of suicide. It's what gets one through many a bad night. ❜ ❨586❩ ❛ Do you understand this is serious? ❜ ❨587❩ ❛ Sometimes it feels good to fuck with something. Instead of always being fucked with. ❜ ❨588❩ ❛ How could you kill something you cared enough to name? ❜ ❨589❩ ❛ Draw a picture of my soul, and it’d be a scribble with fangs. ❜ ❨590❩ ❛ We have the same chemicals in our blood: shame, anger, greed. Unjustified nostalgia. ❜ ❨591❩ ❛ I appreciate a straightforward apology the way a tone-deaf person enjoys a fine piece of music. ❜ ❨592❩ ❛ The phrase fuck you may not rest on the tip of my tongue, but it’s near. Midtongue. ❜ ❨593❩ ❛ Nothing to it but to do it. ❜ ❨594❩ ❛ There are a lot of people who deserve a lesson, deserve to really understand, that nothing comes easy, that most things are going to go sour. ❜ ❨595❩ ❛ If ifs and buts were candies and nuts we’d all have a very Merry Christmas. ❜ ❨596❩ ❛ Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. ❜ ❨597❩ ❛ What does it do to a girl who knows her mother is a murderer? ❜ ❨598❩ ❛ That mean old bitch across the street bit it. ❜ ❨599❩ ❛ Survival is a talent. ❜ ❨600❩ ❛ Crazy isn't being broken or swallowing a dark secret. It’s you or me amplified. If you ever told a lie and enjoyed it. If you ever wished you could be a child forever. ❜ ❨601❩ ❛ Who has the courage to burn themselves? ❜ ❨602❩ ❛ Is insanity just a matter of dropping the act? ❜ ❨603❩ ❛ Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? ❜ ❨604❩ ❛ You need to be well fed, clothed, and housed to have time for this much self-pity. ❜ ❨605❩ ❛ When I am supposed to be awake, I am asleep; when I am supposed to speak, I am silent. When a pleasure offers itself to me, I avoid it. ❜ ❨606❩ ❛ There is thought, and then there is thinking about thoughts, and they don't feel the same. ❜ ❨607❩ ❛ In a strange way we are free. We've reached the end of the line. We have nothing more to lose. ❜ ❨608❩ ❛ The world won’t stop because we aren’t in it anymore. ❜ ❨609❩ ❛ I can't answer the real question. All I can tell you is, it's easy. ❜ ❨610❩ ❛ I am lighter, airier than I’ve been in years. ❜ ❨611❩ ❛ I am not dead, yet something in me definitely is. ❜ ❨612❩ ❛ You meant that as an insult but I am taking it as a compliment. ❜ ❨613❩ ❛ What life can recover from that? ❜ ❨614❩ ❛ It's a fairly accurate portrait of me. It's accurate but it isn't profound. ❜ ❨615❩ ❛ Pull yourself together! There's nothing wrong with you. ❜ ❨616❩ ❛ It's quiet. It's like― I don't know. It's like falling off a cliff. ❜ ❨617❩ ❛ Once you start parsing a face, it's a peculiar item: squishy, pointy, with lots of air vents and wet spots. ❜ ❨618❩ ❛ I lost him. I did it on purpose. ❜ ❨619❩ ❛ It’s a mean world. There’s nobody to take care of you out there. ❜ ❨620❩ ❛ Reality is getting too dense. ❜ ❨621❩ ❛ I'm ambivalent. In fact that's my new favourite word. ❜ ❨622❩ ❛ I can't come up with reassuring answers to the terrible questions you raise. ❜ ❨623❩ ❛ A spring day, the sort that gives people hope: all soft winds and delicate smells of warm earth. Suicide weather. ❜ ❨624❩ ❛ Twenty-five chocolate chip cookies would be the perfect dinner. ❜ ❨625❩ ❛ A thought is a hard thing to control. ❜ ❨626❩ ❛ Life demands skills I don’t have. ❜ ❨627❩ ❛ Light like this does not exist, but we wish it did. We wish the sun could make us young and beautiful. Most of all, we wish that everyone we knew could be brightened simply by our looking at them. ❜ ❨628❩ ❛ It never stops, even at night, it’s my lullaby. ❜ ❨629❩ ❛ Love blurs your vision; but after it recedes, you can see more clearly than ever. ❜ ❨630❩ ❛ This is the kind of thing you see if you sit in the darkness with open eyes. ❜ ❨631❩ ❛ I have done something wrong, something so huge I can't even see it, something that's drowning me. ❜ ❨632❩ ❛ Whatever is happening to me is my own fault. ❜ ❨633❩ ❛ Hatred is easier. Hatred is clear, metallic, one-handed, unwavering; unlike love. ❜ ❨634❩ ❛ Potential has a shelf life. ❜ ❨635❩ ❛ Don’t move. Stay like that, let me have that. ❜ ❨636❩ ❛ I have come to the edge, of the land. I could get pushed over. ❜ ❨637❩ ❛ Never pray for justice, because you might get some. ❜ ❨638❩ ❛ It disturbs me to learn I have hurt someone unintentionally. I want all my hurts to be intentional. ❜ ❨639❩ ❛ We have been shark to one another, but also lifeboat. That counts for something. ❜ ❨640❩ ❛ This is what I miss, not something that’s gone, but something that will never happen. ❜ ❨641❩ ❛ I am not good. I know too much to be good. I know myself. I know myself to be vengeful, greedy, secretive and sly. ❜ ❨642❩ ❛ You are amazing. Amazing and agonising and almost lethal. ❜ ❨643❩ ❛ In my dreams of this city I am always lost. ❜ ❨644❩ ❛ I don't know where these feelings have come from, I don’t know what I've done. ❜ ❨645❩ ❛ I am not the centre of your story, you are.  ❜ ❨646❩ ❛ I’m mad because you’re an asshole. ❜ ❨647❩ ❛ It's enormously pleasing to me, walking away. It's like being able to make people appear and vanish, at will. ❜ ❨648❩ ❛ There is never only one of anyone. ❜ ❨649❩ ❛ I can't do this without feeling I'm acting. ❜ ❨650❩ ❛ I am prepared for almost anything; except absence, except silence. ❜ ❨651❩ ❛ I’m losing my appetite for strangers. ❜ ❨652❩ ❛ You wear your cravings on the outside, like the suckers on a squid. You want it all. ❜ ❨653❩ ❛ Knowing too much about other people weakens you. You are forced to understand their reasons for doing things. ❜ ❨654❩ ❛ I have lost confidence: perhaps all I will ever be is what I am now. ❜ ❨655❩ ❛ Echoes of light, shining out of the midst of nothing. It's old light, and there's not much of it. But it's enough to see by. ❜ ❨656❩ ❛ Whoever cares the most will lose. ❜ ❨657❩ ❛ Young women need unfairness, it’s one of their few defences.  ❜ ❨658❩ ❛ Time has gone on without you. ❜ ❨659❩ ❛ Don't let the bastards grind you down. ❜ ❨660❩ ❛ Who can remember pain, once it’s over? Pain marks you, but too deep to see. Out of sight, out of mind. ❜ ❨661❩ ❛ Better never means better for everyone. It always means worse, for some. ❜ ❨662❩ ❛ There is more than one kind of freedom. Freedom to and freedom from. ❜ ❨663❩ ❛ Remember that forgiveness too is a power. ❜ ❨664❩ ❛ I am not your justification for existence. ❜ ❨665❩ ❛ I want to be valued, in ways that I am not; I want to be more than valuable. ❜ ❨666❩ ❛ If it's a story I'm telling, then I have control over the ending. ❜ ❨667❩ ❛ All you have to do is keep your mouth shut and look stupid. It shouldn't be that hard. ❜ ❨668❩ ❛ Truly amazing, what people can get used to, as long as there are a few compensations. ❜ ❨669❩ ❛ I want everything back, the way it was. ❜ ❨670❩ ❛ You can't help what you feel, but you can help how you behave. ❜ ❨671❩ ❛ Nothing changes instantaneously: in a gradually heating bathtub you'd be boiled to death before you knew it. ❜ ❨672❩ ❛ To want is to have a weakness. ❜ ❨673❩ ❛ There isn't even an enemy you could put your finger on. ❜ ❨674❩ ❛ The past is a great darkness, filled with echoes. ❜ ❨675❩ ❛ Ordinary is what you are used to. This may not seem ordinary to you now, but after a time it will. It will become ordinary. ❜ ❨676❩ ❛ I wish this story were different. I wish it were more civilised. I wish it showed me in a better light. ❜ ❨677❩ ❛ The night is mine, my own time, to do with it as I will, as long as I am quiet. As long as I don't move. As long as I lie still. ❜ ❨678❩ ❛ By telling you anything at all I'm at least believing in you. ❜ ❨679❩ ❛ Whatever is silenced will clamour to be heard. ❜ ❨680❩ ❛ Don't worry about forgiving me right now. There are more important things. ❜ ❨681❩ ❛ Keep the others safe. Don't let them suffer too much. If they have to die, let it be fast. ❜ ❨682❩ ❛ The body is so easily damaged, so easily disposed of, water and chemicals is all it is, hardly more to it than a jellyfish, drying on sand. ❜ ❨683❩ ❛ The world is full of weapons if you're looking for them. ❜ ❨684❩ ❛ Nobody's heart is perfect. ❜ ❨685❩ ❛ One false move and I'm dead. ❜ ❨686❩ ❛ Watch out. I've got my eye on you. ❜ ❨687❩ ❛ Fear is a powerful stimulant. ❜ ❨688❩ ❛ I couldn't afford to lose you. ❜ ❨689❩ ❛ Name one hero who was happy. ---- You can’t. ❜ ❨690❩ ❛ I feel like I could eat the world raw. ❜ ❨691❩ ❛ We are like gods at the dawning of the world. ❜ ❨692❩ ❛ I could recognise him by touch alone, by smell; I would know him blind, by the way his breaths came and his feet struck the earth. I would know him in death, at the end of the world. ❜ ❨693❩ ❛ There are no bargains between lion and men. I will kill you and eat you raw. ❜ ❨694❩ ❛ You can use a spear as a walking stick, but that will not change its nature. ❜ ❨695❩ ❛ He is a weapon, a killer. Do not forget it. ❜ ❨696❩ ❛ Some men gain glory after they die, others fade. ❜ ❨697❩ ❛ I am made of memories. ❜ ❨698❩ ❛ Will you come with me? ❜ ❨699❩ ❛ I wish I had let you all die. ❜ ❨700❩ ❛ It is right to seek peace for the dead. You and I both know there is no peace for those who live after. ❜ ❨701❩ ❛ Bury us. Let us be free. ❜ ❨702❩ ❛ Go. He waits for you. ❜ ❨703❩ ❛ Nothing could eclipse the stain of this dirty, mortal mediocrity. ❜ ❨704❩ ❛ I know I have told you of this. ❜ ❨705❩ ❛ I don't know how you remember them all. I swear they look the same to me. ❜ ❨706❩ ❛ Perhaps you should get some new stories, so I don’t fucking kill myself of boredom. ❜ ❨707❩ ❛ I yearn for the darkness and silence of the underworld, where I can rest. ❜ ❨708❩ ❛ There is no honour in betraying your friends. ❜ ❨709❩ ❛ There is no answer. Whichever you choose, you are wrong. ❜ ❨710❩ ❛ Divine blood flows differently. ❜ ❨711❩ ❛ How is there glory in taking life? We die so easily. ❜ ❨712❩ ❛ This is what I will miss, I think. I will kill myself rather than miss it. ❜ ❨713❩ ❛ How long do we have? ❜ ❨714❩ ❛ Do you think we fight hopeless wars? ❜ ❨715❩ ❛ There is no law that gods must be fair. ❜ ❨716❩ ❛ I do not fear ridicule. I never have. ❜ ❨717❩ ❛ You were always better with words than I. ❜ ❨718❩ ❛ Who can be ashamed to lose to such beauty? ❜ ❨719❩ ❛ When you see beauty in desolation it changes something inside you. ❜ ❨720❩ ❛ That's how the madness of the world tries to colonise you: from the outside in, forcing you to live in its reality. ❜ ❨721❩ ❛ The shadows of the abyss are like the petals of a monstrous flower that shall blossom within the skull and expand the mind beyond what any man can bear. ❜ ❨722❩ ❛ Silence creates violence. ❜ ❨723❩ ❛ Some questions will ruin you if you are denied the answer long enough. ❜ ❨724❩ ❛ There are certain kinds of connections that are so deep that when broken you feel the snap of it inside you. ❜ ❨725❩ ❛ Nothing that ever lived and breathed was truly objective—even in a vacuum, even if all that possessed the brain was a self-immolating desire for the truth. ❜ ❨726❩ ❛ We all live in a kind of continuous dream. ❜ ❨727❩ ❛ You can either waste time worrying about a death that might not come or concentrate on what’s left to you. ❜ ❨728❩ ❛ What can you do when your five senses are not enough? ❜ ❨729❩ ❛ We will neither be what we had been nor what we would become once we reach our destination. ❜ ❨730❩ ❛ Perhaps my only real expertise, my only talent, is to endure beyond the endurable. ❜ ❨731❩ ❛ When you are too close to the centre of a mystery there is no way to pull back. ❜ ❨732❩ ❛ I long ago stopped believing in promises. Biological imperatives, yes. Environmental factors, yes. Promises, no. ❜ ❨733❩ ❛ I look not for shooting stars but for fixed ones, and I try to imagine what kind of life lives in those celestial tidal pools so far from us. ❜ ❨734❩ ❛ I hesitated for just a moment. Some part of me wanted to see the creature, I think. If so, it was a very small part. I ran. ❜ ❨735❩ ❛ I don’t require any of this to have a deeper meaning. ❜ ❨736❩ ❛ All of this speculation is incomplete, inexact, inaccurate, useless. ❜ ❨737❩ ❛ We don’t have real answers, because we still don’t know what questions to ask. Our instruments are useless, our methodology broken, our motivations selfish. ❜ ❨738❩ ❛ This part I will do alone. Don’t follow. ❜ ❨739❩ ❛ People my entire life have told me I am too much in control, but that has never been the case. I have never truly been in control. ❜ ❨740❩ ❛ Has there always been someone like me to bury the bodies, to have regrets, to carry on after everyone else was dead? ❜ ❨741❩ ❛ I loved them, but I didn’t need them, and I thought that was the way it was supposed to be. ❜ ❨742❩ ❛ Places can impress themselves upon me, and I can become part of them with ease. ❜ ❨743❩ ❛ There is no one with me. I am all by myself. ❜ ❨744❩ ❛ Pretending often leads to becoming a reasonable facsimile of what you mimic. ❜ ❨745❩ ❛ I think you're confusing suicide with self-destruction, and they're very different. Almost none of us commit suicide, whereas almost all of us self-destruct. ❜ ❨746❩ ❛ What did you eat? You had rations for only two weeks. You were there for nearly four months. ❜ ❨747❩ ❛ Something here is making giant waves in the gene pool. ❜ ❨748❩ ❛ I need to know what’s inside. ❜ ❨749❩ ❛ These aren't decisions. They're impulses ❜ ❨750❩ ❛ What do you think I do when you’re away? Do you think I’m out in the garden pinning, looking up at the sky? ❜ ❨751❩ ❛ If I know what’s happened I can save their life. ❜ ❨752❩ ❛ They either went crazy or something in here killed them. ❜ ❨753❩ ❛ Something is coming through the fence! ❜ ❨754❩ ❛ Nothing is written in the stars. Not these stars, nor any others. No one controls your destiny. ❜ ❨755❩ ❛ People who claim that they're evil are usually no worse than the rest of us. ❜ ❨756❩ ❛ Happy endings are still endings. ❜ ❨757❩ ❛ We believe in all sorts of things that aren't true; -- we call it history. ❜ ❨758❩ ❛ Does the devil ever struggle to be good again, or if so is he not a devil? ❜ ❨759❩ ❛ In the lives of children, pumpkins turn into coaches, mice and rats turn into men. When we grow up, we realise it is far more common for men to turn into rats. ❜ ❨760❩ ❛ Girls need cold anger. They need the cold simmer, the ceaseless grudge, the talent to avoid forgiveness, the side stepping of compromise.  ❜ ❨761❩ ❛ Love makes hunters of us all. ❜ ❨762❩ ❛ There is much to hate in this world and way too much to love. ❜ ❨763❩ ❛ You confuse not speaking with not listening. ❜ ❨764❩ ❛ As long as people are going to call you a lunatic anyway, why not get the benefit of it? It liberates you from convention. ❜ ❨765❩ ❛ The eye is always caught by light, but shadows have more to say. ❜ ❨766❩ ❛ Not everyone is born a witch or a saint. Not everyone is born talented, or crooked, or blessed; some are born definite in no particular at all. ❜ ❨767❩ ❛ We are a fountain of shimmering contradictions, most of us. ❜ ❨768❩ ❛ The wickedness of men is that their power breeds stupidity and blindness. ❜ ❨769❩ ❛ I know you don't want to hear this but someone has to say it! You are out of control! ❜ ❨770❩ ❛ Even at the very worst - there is always choice. ❜ ❨771❩ ❛ Maybe the definition of home is the place where you are never forgiven. So you may always belong there, bound by guilt. And maybe the cost of belonging is worth it. ❜ ❨772❩ ❛ Cross a man and you struggle, one of you wins, you adjust and go on -- or you lie there dead. Cross a woman and the entire universe is changed. ❜ ❨773❩ ❛ That was such a wonderful time, even in its strangeness and sadness. Life isn't the same now. It's wonderful, but it isn't the same. ❜ ❨774❩ ❛ I don't care for approval, and I don't mind doing without. ❜ ❨775❩ ❛ It's where I live. A permanent state of bereavement. This is nothing new. ❜ ❨776❩ ❛ Always the bridesmaid, never the bride. Always the godfather, never the god. ❜ ❨777❩ ❛ The world unwraps itself to you, again and again as soon as you are ready to see it anew. ❜ ❨778❩ ❛ Evil is an act, not an appetite. Everyone has the appetite. If you give in to it, that act is evil. The appetite is normal. ❜ ❨779❩ ❛ How many haven't wanted to slash the throat of some boor across the dining room table?  ❜ ❨780❩ ❛ Even God used silence as a strategy. ❜ ❨781❩ ❛ I learned failure early and mastered it. ❜ ❨782❩ ❛ It isn't whether you do it well or ill, it's that you do it all. ❜ ❨783❩ ❛ This is why you shouldn't fall in love, it blinds you. Love is a very wicked distraction. ❜ ❨784❩ ❛ Wisdom is not the understanding of mystery. Wisdom is accepting that mystery is beyond understanding. That's what makes it mystery. ❜ ❨785❩ ❛ Wrong takes an awful long time to be proven, in my experience. ❜ ❨786❩ ❛ Such brightness, as you know, decays brilliantly. ❜ ❨787❩ ❛ I take responsibility only for the future, not the past. The past can't hurt you the way the future can. ❜ ❨788❩ ❛ Tell me to mind my own business, tell me to go fuck myself, to piss off, go on, say it, but don’t tell me nothing’s wrong. ❜ ❨789❩ ❛ The truth isn't a thing of fact or reason. It is simply what everyone agrees on. ❜ ❨790❩ ❛ One can't make peace with another by force. ❜ ❨791❩ ❛ I am a forgettable leaf on a tree. ❜ ❨792❩ ❛ That's all I want; --- to do no harm. ❜ ❨793❩ ❛ I only believe in the opposite of luck, whatever that is. ❜ ❨794❩ ❛ Human beings are not born once and for all on the day their mothers give birth to them, life obliges them over and over again to give birth to themselves. ❜ ❨795❩ ❛ You’re too young to know that the heart's memory eliminates the bad and magnifies the good, and thanks to that we manage to endure the burden of the past. ❜ ❨796❩ ❛ Love, no matter what else it might be, is a natural talent. You are either born knowing how, or you never know. ❜ ❨797❩ ❛ Whatever you do, you will be sorry all the rest of your life. ❜ ❨798❩ ❛ There is no God worth worrying about. ❜ ❨799❩ ❛ The only regret I will have in dying is if it is not for love. ❜ ❨800❩ ❛ Wisdom comes to us when it can no longer do any good. ❜ ❨801❩ ❛ Think of love as a state of grace, not the means to anything, but the very end in itself. ❜ ❨802❩ ❛ Only God knows how much I love you. ❜ ❨803❩ ❛ There is no greater glory than to die for love. ❜ ❨804❩ ❛ Nothing resembles a person as much as the way he dies. ❜ ❨805❩ ❛ Take advantage of it now, while you are young, and suffer all you can, because these things don't last your whole life. ❜ ❨806❩ ❛ Today, when I saw you, I realised that what is between us is nothing more than an illusion. ❜ ❨807❩ ❛ I have waited for this opportunity for more than half a century. ❜ ❨808❩ ❛ I want to be myself again, to recover all that I was obliged to give up. ❜ ❨809❩ ❛ The only thing worse than bad health is a bad name. ❜ ❨810❩ ❛ This soup tastes like windows. ❜ ❨811❩ ❛ Why do you insist on talking about what does not exist? ❜ ❨812❩ ❛ One has to live a long time to know a man's true nature. ❜ ❨813❩ ❛ No, not rich, I am a poor man with money, which is not the same thing. ❜ ❨814❩ ❛ My heart has more rooms than a whorehouse. ❜ ❨815❩ ❛ That may be the reason he does so many things, so that he will not have to think. ❜ ❨816❩ ❛ Love if it exists, is something separate: another life. ❜ ❨817❩ ❛ Things did not go as badly for me as they would for you. ❜ ❨818❩ ❛ There are things you do only for love. ❜ ❨819❩ ❛ I’ll have plenty of time to rest when I die. ❜ ❨820❩ ❛ There is no innocence more dangerous than the innocence of age. ❜ ❨821❩ ❛ You treat me as if I were just anybody. ❜ ❨822❩ ❛ The symptoms of love are the same as those of cholera. ❜ ❨823❩ ❛ There is no law, human or divine, that you have not ignored. ❜ ❨824❩ ❛ Why is it that I feel I've known you so many years? ❜ ❨825❩ ❛ Stuff your eyes with wonder, live as if you'd drop dead in ten seconds. See the world. It's more fantastic than any dream made or paid for in factories. ❜ ❨826❩ ❛ It doesn't matter what you do, so long as you change something from the way it was before you touched it into something that's like you after you take your hands away. ❜ ❨827❩ ❛ We need to be really bothered once in a while. How long is it since you were really bothered? About something important, about something real? ❜ ❨828❩ ❛ There must be something, something we can’t imagine, to make a woman stay in a burning house; there must be something there. You don’t stay for nothing. ❜ ❨829❩ ❛ If you hide your ignorance, no one will hit you and you'll never learn. ❜ ❨830❩ ❛ If you drown, at least die knowing you were heading for shore. ❜ ❨831❩ ❛ You can't make people listen. They have to come round in their own time, wondering what happened and why the world blew up around them. ❜ ❨832❩ ❛ It was a pleasure to burn. ❜ ❨833❩ ❛ I'm antisocial, they say. I don't mix. It's so strange. I'm very social indeed. It all depends on what you mean by social, doesn't it? ❜ ❨834❩ ❛ Being with people is nice. But I don't think it's social to get a bunch of people together and then not let them talk, do you? ❜ ❨835❩ ❛ Do you notice how people hurt each other nowadays? ❜ ❨836❩ ❛ Who knows who might be the target of the well-read man? ❜ ❨837❩ ❛ I don't talk things. I talk the meaning of things. ❜ ❨838❩ ❛ I'll hold on to the world tight some day. I've got one finger on it now; that's a beginning. ❜ ❨839❩ ❛ I just want someone to hear what I have to say. And maybe if I talk long enough it'll make sense. ❜ ❨840❩ ❛ That's the good part of dying; when you've nothing to lose, you run any risk you want. ❜ ❨841❩ ❛ Someday we'll build the biggest goddamn steamshovel in history and dig the biggest grave of all time and shove war in it and cover it up. ❜ ❨842❩ ❛ You're not like the others. I've seen a few; I know. When I talk, you look at me. ❜ ❨843❩ ❛ You're afraid of making mistakes. Don't be. Mistakes can be profited by. ❜ ❨844❩ ❛ When they give you lined paper, write the other way. ❜ ❨845❩ ❛ The sun burnt every day. It burnt time. ❜ ❨846❩ ❛ We have everything we need to be happy but we aren't happy. Something is missing. ❜ ❨847❩ ❛ I feel I'm doing what I should've done a lifetime ago. ❜ ❨848❩ ❛ I'm not afraid. Maybe it's because I'm doing the right thing at last. Maybe it's because I've done a rash thing and don't want to look the coward to you. ❜ ❨849❩ ❛ Good God, who were those men? I never saw them before in my life! ❜ ❨850❩ ❛ How do you get so empty? Who takes it out of you? ❜ ❨851❩ ❛ It must be right. It seems so right. ❜ ❨852❩ ❛ To everything there is a season. Yes. A time to break down, and a time to build up. A time to keep silence and a time to speak. ❜ ❨853❩ ❛ It's my game. And no one can help me. Not even you. ❜ ❨854❩ ❛ What makes earth feel like hell is our expectation that it should feel like heaven. Earth is earth. Dead is dead. You’ll find out for yourself soon enough. ❜ ❨855❩ ❛ Death is a long process. Your body is just the first part of you that croaks. Beyond that, your dreams have to die. Then your expectations. Your anger and memories must die. Your ego. Your pride and shame and ambition and hope. ❜ ❨856❩ ❛ Help me give up my addiction to hope. ❜ ❨857❩ ❛ Life is short, death is forever. ❜ ❨858❩ ❛ Hope is something really tough and tenacious you have to give up. It’s an addiction to break. ❜ ❨859❩ ❛ If the living are haunted by the dead, then the dead are haunted by their own mistakes. ❜ ❨860❩ ❛ We all wish to be pursued. We all long to be desired. ❜ ❨861❩ ❛ All the demons of hell formerly reigned as gods in previous cultures. No it's not fair, but one man's god is another man's devil. ❜ ❨862❩ ❛ I can become someone else, not out of pressure and desperation, but merely because a new life sounds fun or interesting or joyful. ❜ ❨863❩ ❛ It's my petty fear of personal rejection that allows so many true evils to exist. My cowardice enables atrocities. ❜ ❨864❩ ❛ You fucked up. Game over. So just relax. ❜ ❨865❩ ❛ The greatest weapon any warrior can carry into battle is absolute certainty of her eternal soul. ❜ ❨866❩ ❛ If killing you will end my existence as well, be it. Small loss. Such a life, as your puppet, is not worth living. ❜ ❨867❩ ❛ I might be a touch of a sadist and a little bit jejune but at least I'm not a victim, not any longer. I hope. ❜ ❨868❩ ❛ Dying seems like the greatest weakness, and in a world where people say you're lazy for not shaving your legs, then being dead seems like the ultimate character flaw. ❜ ❨869❩ ❛ Any concept of right versus wrong, is merely a cultural construct relative to one specific time and place. ❜ ❨870❩ ❛ To prove that I exist I must kill you. ❜ ❨871❩ ❛ I'd say that my life has been a way-too-long case history of chasing rainbows. ❜ ❨872❩ ❛ The world is a battle for attention, a war to be heard. ❜ ❨873❩ ❛ Every garden looks beautiful in May. ❜ ❨874❩ ❛ When we neglect to fear such brittle monstrosity, we render it powerless. ❜ ❨875❩ ❛ My taste for power continues to grow, as does my ability to accrue it. ❜ ❨876❩ ❛ Such language! Why don't you just take a dump in my ears? ❜ ❨877❩ ❛ You’d be foolish to count on people displaying high standards of honesty. ❜ ❨878❩ ❛ Depending on her mood, she can be more frightening than any demon or devil you might ever run across. ❜ ❨879❩ ❛ Cross your fingers! Maybe death won't happen to you. ❜ ❨880❩ ❛ Do not die while wearing cheap shoes. ❜ ❨881❩ ❛ Old habits die hard. ❜ ❨882❩ ❛ It's our attachments to a fixed identity that torture us. ❜ ❨883❩ ❛ What do I think I am? In a thousand words; I don't have a clue. ❨884❩ ❛ If I am to be saved it is because your love redeems me. ❜ ❨885❩ ❛ All I wanted was to be loved for myself. ❜ ❨886❩ ❛ I have tasted all the happiness the world can offer. ❜ ❨887❩ ❛ Shall we pity him? Shall we curse him? ❜ ❨888❩ ❛ You have a heart that can hold the entire empire of the world. ❜ ❨889❩ ❛ Look, I am not laughing now, crying, crying for you. ❜ ❨890❩ ❛ Tonight I gave you my soul, and I am dead. ❜ ❨891❩ ❛ You are afraid of me! And yet I am not really wicked. Love me and you shall see! ❜ ❨892❩ ❛ Are people so unhappy when they love? --- Yes, when they love and are not sure of being loved. ❜ ❨893❩ ❛ Your soul is a beautiful thing. No emperor received so fair a gift. The angels wept tonight. ❜ ❨894❩ ❛ Blood!...Blood!... That's a good thing! ❜ ❨895❩ ❛ Now I want to live like everybody else. I want to have a life like everybody else. ❜ ❨896❩ ❛ You will be the happiest of women. And we will sing, all by ourselves, till we swoon away with delight. ❜ ❨897❩ ❛ I should be as gentle as a lamb; and you could do anything with me that you pleased. ❜ ❨898❩ ❛ I am going to die of love, I am dying of love. That's how it is. I loved you so. I still love you so. ❜ ❨899❩ ❛ I am dying of love for her, I tell you! If only you knew how beautiful she was when she let me kiss her. ❜ ❨900❩ ❛ He fills me with horror but I do not hate him. How can I hate him? ❜ ❨901❩ ❛ Holy angel, in Heaven blessed, my spirit longs with thee to rest. ❜ ❨902❩ ❛ Nothing is colder or more dead than my heart. ❜ ❨903❩ ❛ I had loved an angel and now I despise a woman. ❜ ❨904❩ ❛ Our lives are one masked ball. ❜ ❨905❩ ❛ Why do you condemn a man whom you have never met, whom no one knows and about whom even you yourself know nothing? ❜ ❨906❩ ❛ He would commit murder for me. ❜ ❨907❩ ❛ If I don't save her from the hands of that humbug, she is lost. But I shall save her. ❜ ❨908❩ ❛ We will go from here together or die together. ❜ ❨909❩ ❛ Your fear, your terror, all of that is just love and love of the most exquisite kind, the kind which people do not admit even to themselves. The kind that gives you a thrill, when you think of it. ❜ ❨910❩ ❛ Destiny has chained you to me forever. ❜ ❨911❩ ❛ You must never ask me that. ❜ ❨912❩ ❛ Are you afraid that you will change your mind? ❜ ❨913❩ ❛ You must come and fetch me in my dressing room at midnight exactly. ❜ ❨914❩ ❛ The holes in your life are permanent. You have to grow around them, like tree roots around concrete; you mould yourself through the gaps. ❜ ❨915❩ ❛ I have never understood how people can blithely disregard the damage they do by following their hearts. ❜ ❨916❩ ❛ There’s something comforting about the sight of strangers safe at home. ❜ ❨917❩ ❛ I have lost control over everything, even the places in my head. ❜ ❨918❩ ❛ It’s possible to miss what you’ve never had, to even mourn for it. ❜ ❨919❩ ❛ There’s nothing so painful, so corrosive, as suspicion. ❜ ❨920❩ ❛ When did you become so weak? ❜ ❨921❩ ❛ I don’t know where that strength went, I don’t remember losing it. I think that over time it got chipped away, bit by bit, by life, by the living of it. ❜ ❨922❩ ❛ Let’s be honest: women are still only really valued for two things—their looks and their role as mothers. ❜ ❨923❩ ❛ Sadness gets boring after a while, for the sad person and for everyone around them. ❜ ❨924❩ ❛ I’m playing at real life instead of actually living it. ❜ ❨925❩ ❛ I’ve just got to let myself feel the pain, because if I don’t, if I keep numbing it, it’ll never really go away. ❜ ❨926❩ ❛ I am not the girl I used to be. I am no longer desirable, I’m off-putting in some way. It’s as if people can see the damage written all over me, can see it in my face, the way I hold myself, the way I move. ❜ ❨927❩ ❛ Who was it that said following your heart is a good thing? It is pure egotism, a selfishness to conquer all. ❜ ❨928❩ ❛ It’s impossible to resist the kindness of strangers. ❜ ❨929❩ ❛ Sometimes I catch myself trying to remember the last time I had meaningful physical contact with another person, just a hug or a heartfelt squeeze of my hand, and my heart twitches. ❜ ❨930❩ ❛ I have to find a way of making myself happy, I have to stop looking for happiness elsewhere. ❜ ❨931❩ ❛ How did I find myself here? I wonder where it started, my decline; I wonder at what point I could have halted it. Where did I take the wrong turn? ❜ ❨932❩ ❛ Now look -- Now look what you made me do. ❜ ❨933❩ ❛ It’s okay, whatever you did, whatever you’ve done: you suffered, you hurt, you deserve forgiveness. ❜ ❨934❩ ❛ They’re what I lost, they’re everything I want to be. ❜ ❨935❩ ❛ You broke me and I broke us. ❜ ❨936❩ ❛ I’ve been the fool. If he does it with you, he’ll do it to you. ❜ ❨937❩ ❛ I’d never realised, not until now, how shameful it is to be pitied. ❜ ❨938❩ ❛ Sometimes, I don’t want to go anywhere, I think I’ll be happy if I never have to set foot outside the house again. ❜ ❨939❩ ❛ I don’t believe in soul mates, but there’s an understanding between us that I just haven’t felt before, or at least, not for a long time. ❜ ❨940❩ ❛ There can be no greater agony, nothing can be more painful than the not knowing, which will never end. ❜ ❨941❩ ❛ Being the other woman is a huge turn-on, there’s no point in denying it: you’re the one he can’t help but betray his wife for, even though he loves her. That’s just how irresistible you are. ❜ ❨942❩ ❛ I feel a rush of gratitude so strong, it feels almost like love. ❜ ❨943❩ ❛ You don’t know how determined I can be. Once I’ve made my mind up, I’m a force to be reckoned with. ❜ ❨944❩ ❛ The more I want to be oblivious, the less I can be. Life and light will not let me be. ❜ ❨945❩ ❛ You don’t have to be afraid of being alone. It’s not the worst thing, is it? ❜ ❨946❩ ❛ I have felt this way before. On a larger scale, to a more intense degree, of course, but I remember the quality of the pain. You don’t forget it. ❜ ❨947❩ ❛ If he thinks I’m going to sit around crying, he’s got another thing coming. ❜ ❨948❩ ❛ I don’t like to lose. It’s not like me. None of this is like me. I don’t get rejected. I’m the one who walks away. ❜ ❨949❩ ❛ I don’t remember anger, raging fury. I remember fear. ❜ ❨950❩ ❛ I can’t sleep. I haven’t slept in days. I hate it, hate insomnia more than anything, just lying there, brain going round, tick, tick, tick, tick. ❜ ❨951❩ ❛ Maybe the courage I need has nothing to do with telling the truth and everything to do with walking away. ❜ ❨952❩ ❛ I’m not beautiful, and I can’t have kids, so what does that make me? Worthless. ❜ ❨953❩ ❛ Failure cloaked me like a mantle, it overwhelmed me, dragged me under and I gave up hope. ❜ ❨954❩ ❛ It’s an odd thing to say, but I think this all the time; I don’t feel bad enough. ❜ ❨955❩ ❛ Some battles aren’t worth fighting. ❜ ❨956❩ ❛ I never felt guilty. I pretended I did. I had to. ❜ ❨957❩ ❛ I never meant for any of this to happen, we fell in love, what could we do? ❜ ❨958❩ ❛ What bothers me most is that I haven’t got to the end of my story, and I can’t start over with someone else, it’s too hard. ❜ ❨959❩ ❛ A person is, among all else, a material thing, easily torn and not easily mended. ❜ ❨960❩ ❛ It isn’t only wickedness and scheming that make people unhappy, it is confusion and misunderstanding. ❜ ❨961❩ ❛ Falling in love can be achieved in a single word—a glance. ❜ ❨962❩ ❛ Though you think the world is at your feet, it can rise up and tread on you. ❜ ❨963❩ ❛ I’ve never had a moment’s doubt. I love you. I believe in you completely. You are my dearest one. My reason for life. ❜ ❨964❩ ❛ It might hurt, it is horribly inconvenient, no good might come of it, but it is what it is to be in love. ❜ ❨965❩ ❛ It was always an impossible task, and that was precisely the point. ❜ ❨966❩ ❛ Come back, come back to me. ❜ ❨967❩ ❛ In my thoughts I make love to you all day long. ❜ ❨968❩ ❛ The truth is I feel rather light headed and foolish in your presence and I don’t think I can blame the heat. ❜ ❨969❩ ❛ Beauty occupies a narrow band. Ugliness, on the other hand, has infinite variation. ❜ ❨970❩ ❛ Is there any meaning in my life that the inevitable death awaiting me does not destroy? ❜ ❨971❩ ❛ However, withered, I still feel myself to be exactly the same person I’ve always been. ❜ ❨972❩ ❛ Hate is a feeling as pure as love, but dispassionate and icily rational. ❜ ❨973❩ ❛ I’m going mad. Let me not be mad. ❜ ❨974❩ ❛ Is everyone really as alive as I am? ❜ ❨975❩ ❛ Every now and then, quite unintentionally, someone teaches you something about yourself. ❜ ❨976❩ ❛ Something has happened, hasn’t it? ❜ ❨977❩ ❛ I like to think that it isn’t weakness or evasion, but a final act of kindness. ❜ ❨978❩ ❛ Is it possible that I am, in the modern term, in denial? ❜ ❨979❩ ❛ How could anyone presume to know the world through the eyes of an insect? ❜ ❨980❩ ❛ Not everything has a cause. Some things are simply so. ❜ ❨981❩ ❛ I’ll be quite honest with you. I’m torn between breaking your neck here and throwing you down the stairs. ❜ ❨982❩ ❛ How old do you have to be before you know the difference between right and wrong? ❜ ❨983❩ ❛ It was never meant to be read. ❜ ❨984❩ ❛ If I fell in the river, would you save me? ❜ ❨985❩ ❛ That was an incredibly bloody stupid thing to do. ❜ ❨986❩ ❛ I want to thank you for saving my life. I’ll be eternally grateful to you. ❜ ❨987❩ ❛ I’m very, very sorry for the terrible distress that I have caused. I’m very, very sorry. ❜ ❨988❩ ❛ Don’t call me that! – Please don’t call me that. ❜ ❨989❩ ❛ It may be the wrong decision, but fuck it, it’s mine. ❜ ❨990❩ ❛ Like patience, passion comes from the same Latin root: pati. It does not mean to flow with exuberance. It means to suffer. ❜ ❨991❩ ❛ No one ever really gets used to nightmares. ❜ ❨992❩ ❛ I still get nightmares. In fact, I get them so often I should be used to them by now. I’m not. ❜ ❨993❩ ❛ Sublime is something you choke on after a shot of tequila. ❜ ❨994❩ ❛ Some people reflect light, some deflect it, you by some miracle, seem to collect it. ❜ ❨995❩ ❛ Beautiful women are always drawn to men they think will keep them beautiful. ❜ ❨996❩ ❛ The ruminations are mine, let the world be yours. ❜ ❨997❩ ❛ You will fulfil a promise I made years ago but failed to keep. ❜ ❨998❩ ❛ Darkness never satisfies. Especially if it takes something away which it almost always invariably does. ❜ ❨999❩ ❛ I want something else. I’m not even sure what to call it anymore. ❜ ❨1000❩ ❛ What can I say, I’m a sucker for abandoned stuff, misplaced stuff, forgotten stuff, any old stuff. ❜ ❨1001❩ ❛ Is it possible to love something so much, you imagine it wants to destroy you only because it has denied you? ❜ ❨1002❩ ❛ It’s just silent, no sound at all. It’s like something’s waiting. ❜ ❨1003❩ ❛ I guess I’m hoping the weapons will make me feel better, grant me some kind of fucking control. ❜ ❨1004❩ ❛ Oh and something else: – Fuck you. ❜ ❨1005❩ ❛ God I’ve never been afraid like this. ❜ ❨1006❩ ❛ I miss you. I love you. There’s no second I’ve lived that you can’t call your own. ❜ ❨1007❩ ❛ I’m so tired. Sleep’s been stalking me for too long to remember. Inevitable I suppose. ❜ ❨1008❩ ❛ Not seeing the rip doesn’t mean you automatically get to keep clear of the Hey-I’m-Bleeding part. ❜ ❨1009❩ ❛ These days fantasies flourish and die like summer flies. ❜ ❨1010❩ ❛ Yeah I know, I know. This shit’s getting ridiculous. ❜ ❨1011❩ ❛ ‘Fuck’ and 'fall for’ have very different meanings. The first one you do as much as you can. The second one you never ever, ever do. ❜ ❨1012❩ ❛ It’s a nice idea but it reeks of hope. False hope. ❜ ❨1013❩ ❛ It’s, well…one thing in two words: fucked up…very fucked up. Okay three words, four words, who the hell cares…very very fucked up. ❜ ❨1014❩ ❛ Do you think I could spend the night at your place?  ❜ ❨1015❩ ❛ Any fool can pray. ❜ ❨1016❩ ❛ I feel like I haven’t slept in months. My neighbours are scared of me. ❜ ❨1017❩ ❛ I’ve lost my mind? Maybe, maybe, maybe. Maybe I’m just really drunk. ❜ ❨1018❩ ❛ Perhaps by cleaning out my system I’ll come to a clearing where I can ease myself into peace. ❜ ❨1019❩ ❛ I should be dead. Why am I still here? ❜ ❨1020❩ ❛ Fuck if I know. Your guess is as good as mine. ❜ ❨1021❩ ❛ You are my flesh. You are my bones. I know you too well. I read you too perfectly. ❜ ❨1022❩ ❛ Not all complex problems have easy solutions. ❜ ❨1023❩ ❛ Do you believe in God? I don’t think I ever asked you that one. ❜ ❨1024❩ ❛ We all create stories to protect ourselves. ❜ ❨1025❩ ❛ Are you kidding me? This place is scary. ❜ ❨1026❩ ❛ These days the only thing that gets me outside is when I say: Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck you. Fuck me. Fuck this. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. ❜ ❨1027❩ ❛ You like that crap because it reminds you of you. ❜ ❨1028❩ ❛ You may suddenly realise things are not how you perceived them to be at all. ❜ ❨1029❩ ❛ The two hardest tests are the patience to wait for the right moment and the courage not to be disappointed with what we encounter. ❜ ❨1030❩ ❛ People never learn anything by being told, they have to find out for themselves. ❜ ❨1031❩ ❛ Be crazy! But learn how to be crazy without being the center of attention. Be brave enough to live different. ❜ ❨1032❩ ❛ You are someone who is different, but who wants to be the same as everyone else. And that in my view is a serious illness. ❜ ❨1033❩ ❛ God chose you to be different. ❜ ❨1034❩ ❛ Why are you disappointing God with this kind of attitude? ❜ ❨1035❩ ❛ You have two choices, to control your mind or to let your mind control you. ❜ ❨1036❩ ❛ Everyone is indeed crazy, but the craziest are the ones who don't know they're crazy; they just keep repeating what others tell them to. ❜ ❨1037❩ ❛ Haven't you learned anything, not even with the approach of death?  ❜ ❨1038❩ ❛ If people don't like it, they can complain. And if they don't have the courage to complain, that's their problem. ❜ ❨1039❩ ❛ Nothing in this world happens by chance. ❜ ❨1040❩ ❛ I want to continue living my life the way I dream it, and not the way the other people want it to be. ❜ ❨1041❩ ❛ Be like the fountain that overflows, not like the cistern that merely contains. ❜ ❨1042❩ ❛ Collective madness is called sanity. ❜ ❨1043❩ ❛ Consider each day a miracle - which indeed it is, when you consider the number of unexpected things that could happen in each second of our fragile existences. ❜ ❨1044❩ ❛ You say they create their own reality, but what is reality? ❜ ❨1045❩ ❛ Many people don't allow themselves to love because there are a lot of things at risk. A lot of future and a lot of past. ❜ ❨1046❩ ❛ Death frees from the fear of dying. ❜ ❨1047❩ ❛ The danger of an adventure is worth a thousand days of ease and comfort. ❜ ❨1048❩ ❛ The happier people can be, the unhappier they are. ❜ ❨1049❩ ❛ Life is always a matter of waiting for the right moment to act. ❜ ❨1050❩ ❛ It's best to accept life as it really is and not as you imagined it to be. ❜ ❨1051❩ ❛ You don't seem mad at all. ❜ ❨1052❩ ❛ We’re allowed to make a lot of mistakes in our lives, except the mistake that destroys us. ❜ ❨1053❩ ❛ You’re what you are, not what others make of you. ❜ ❨1054❩ ❛ Am I cured? ❜ ❨1055❩ ❛ Real love changes and grows with time and discovers new ways of expressing itself. ❜ ❨1056❩ ❛ A lot of people think something is right, and so that thing becomes right. Is that it? ❜ ❨1057❩ ❛ They think they're normal, because they all do the same thing. ❜ ❨1058❩ ❛ I didn't know that other ‘me’s existed inside me, ‘Me’s that I could love. ❜ ❨1059❩ ❛ I have no idea what's awaiting me. ❜ ❨1060❩ ❛ What will happen when this all ends? ❜ ❨1061❩ ❛ I know that you are capable of great deeds. ❜ ❨1062❩ ❛ A loveless world is a dead world, and always there comes an hour when one is weary of prisons, of one's work, and of devotion to duty, and all one craves for is a loved face, the warmth and wonder of a loving heart. ❜ ❨1063❩ ❛ The truth is that everyone is bored. ❜ ❨1064❩ ❛ I feel more fellowship with the defeated than with saints. Heroism and sanctity don't really appeal to me, I imagine. ❜ ❨1065❩ ❛ If there is one thing one can always yearn for, and sometimes attain, it is human love. ❜ ❨1066❩ ❛ Who would dare to assert that eternal happiness can compensate for even a single moment's suffering? ❜ ❨1067❩ ❛ It's not easy. I've been thinking it over for years. ❜ ❨1068❩ ❛ While we loved each other we didn't need words to make ourselves understood. ❜ ❨1069❩ ❛ People are more often bad than good. ❜ ❨1070❩ ❛ I don't believe in heroism; I know it's easy and I've learned that it can be murderous. ❜ ❨1071❩ ❛ What interests me is living and dying for what one loves. ❜ ❨1072❩ ❛ In fact, nobody is capable of really thinking about anyone, even in the worst calamity. ❜ ❨1073❩ ❛ Nothing in the world is worth turning one's back on what one loves. ❜ ❨1074❩ ❛ Again and again there comes a time in history when the man who dares to say that two and two make four is punished with death. ❜ ❨1075❩ ❛ There are more things to admire in men then to despise. ❜ ❨1076❩ ❛ It is in the thick of calamity that one gets hardened to the truth - in other words, to silence. ❜ ❨1077❩ ❛ What on earth prompted you to take a hand in this? ❜ ❨1078❩ ❛ Your code of morals? What code, if I may ask? ❜ ❨1079❩ ❛ I'm fumbling in the dark, struggling to make something out. But I've long ceased finding anything. ❜ ❨1080❩ ❛ No doubt our love is still there, but quite simply it is unusable, heavy to carry, inert inside of us, sterile as crime or condemnation. ❜ ❨1081❩ ❛ I’m not happy to go, but one needn't be happy to make another start. ❜ ❨1082❩ ❛ I am incapable of suffering for a long time, or being happy for a long time. Which means that I am incapable of anything really worth while. ❜ ❨1083❩ ❛ I should have found the words to keep her with me. ❜ ❨1084❩ ❛ We can't stir a finger in this world without the risk of bringing death to somebody. ❜ ❨1085❩ ❛ The evil that is in the world comes out of ignorance, and good intentions may do as much harm as malevolence, if they lack understanding. ❜ ❨1086❩ ❛ There are always flies and itches. That’s why life is difficult to live. ❜ ❨1087❩ ❛ The best protection against anything is a good bottle of wine. ❜ ❨1088❩ ❛ There is no peace without hope. ❜ ❨1089❩ ❛ It's enough for me to be sure that you and I exist at this moment. ❜ ❨1090❩ ❛ There is always something left to love. ❜ ❨1091❩ ❛ A person doesn’t die when he should but when he can. ❜ ❨1092❩ ❛ Things have a life of their own. It's simply a matter of waking up their souls. ❜ ❨1093❩ ❛ Tell me something: why are you fighting? ❜ ❨1094❩ ❛ I've come to realise only just now that I'm fighting because of pride. ❜ ❨1095❩ ❛ One minute of reconciliation is worth more than a whole life of friendship. ❜ ❨1096❩ ❛ It's better than not knowing why you're fighting. Or fighting, like you, for something that doesn't have any meaning for anyone. ❜ ❨1097❩ ❛ Holy Mother of God! ❜ ��1098❩ ❛ A person does not belong to a place until there is someone dead under the ground. ❜ ❨1099❩ ❛ I was born a son of a bitch and I'm going to die a son of a bitch. ❜ ❨1100❩ ❛ Bad luck doesn't have any chinks in it. ❜ ❨1101❩ ❛ I plead youth as a mitigating circumstance. ❜ ❨1102❩ ❛ Get those bad thoughts out of your head. You're going to be happy. ❜ ❨1103❩ ❛ Children inherit their parents' madness. ❜ ❨1104❩ ❛ I'll turn to ashes in here but I won't give this miserable town the pleasure of seeing me weep. ❜ ❨1105❩ ❛ You would be good in a war. Where you put your eye, you put your bullet. ❜ ❨1106❩ ❛ Men demand much more than you think. ❜ ❨1107❩ ❛ Even the craziest and most persistent love is just a temporary truth. ❜ ❨1108❩ ❛ If we’re alone you can whisper in my ear any crap you can think of. ❜ ❨1109❩ ❛ You have taken this horrible game very seriously and you have done well because you are doing your duty. ❜ ❨1110❩ ❛ We have the right to pull down your pants and give you a whipping at the first sign of disrespect. ❜ ❨1111❩ ❛ What worries me is not your shooting me, because after all, for people like us it's a natural death. ❜ ❨1112❩ ❛ What worries me is that you've ended up as bad as they are. ❜ ❨1113❩ ❛ It is characteristic of men to deny hunger once their appetites are satisfied. ❜ ❨1114❩ ❛ Dying is much more difficult than one imagines. ❜ ❨1115❩ ❛ If you have to go crazy, please go crazy all by yourself! ❜ ❨1116❩ ❛ We have still not had a death. ❜ ❨1117❩ ❛ How awful, the way time passes. ❜ ❨1118❩ ❛ You may be in command of your war, but I'm in command of my house. ❜ ❨1119❩ ❛ I missed you every hour. ❜ ❨1120❩ ❛ You know what the worst part was? It caught me completely by surprise. ❜ ❨1121❩ ❛ I’ve risked my life for you. ❜ ❨1122❩ ❛ The problem with wanting is that it makes us weak. ❜ ❨1123❩ ❛ I love you, even the part of you that loved him. ❜ ❨1124❩ ❛ I’m sorry it took me so long to see you. ❜ ❨1125❩ ❛ I never really belonged anywhere. ❜ ❨1126❩ ❛ Thanks for being my best friend and making my life bearable.  ❜ ❨1127❩ ❛ Thanks for finding me. ❜ ❨1128❩ ❛ You and I are going to change the world. ❜ ❨1129❩ ❛ I’ve been waiting for you a long time. ❜ ❨1130❩ ❛ I’m not used to people trying to kill me. ❜ ❨1131❩ ❛ You’re shaking. ❜ ❨1132❩ ❛ There's nothing wrong with being a lizard. Unless you were born to be a hawk. ❜ ❨1133❩ ❛ Make me your villain. ❜ ❨1134❩ ❛ Just you and me. It’s always just you and me. ❜ ❨1135❩ ❛ Do you blame me for every mistake I made? For every dumb thing I’ve said? ❜ ❨1136❩ ❛ Well, if it gets too bad, give me a signal. ❜ ❨1137❩ ❛ Did you tell him what I showed you in the dark? ❜ ❨1138❩ ❛ Did you miss me when you were gone? ❜ ❨1139❩ ❛ What is infinite? The universe and the greed of men. ❜ ❨1140❩ ❛ You’re interfering with my plan. ❜ ❨1141❩ ❛ Too much champagne? ❜ ❨1142❩ ❛ I hope you don’t expect fairness from me. It isn’t one of my specialties. ❜ ❨1143❩ ❛ There is something more powerful than any army. Something strong enough to topple kings. Faith. ❜ ❨1144❩ ❛ All you said was that I had to kill you. You didn’t say how. ❜ ❨1145❩ ❛ What is she? She’s everything, you dumb son of a bitch. ❜ ❨1146❩ ❛ She’s an ugly little thing. No child should look like that. Pale and sour, like a glass of milk that’s turned. ❜ ❨1147❩ ❛ I wouldn’t make that mistake again. ❜ ❨1148❩ ❛ It’s a great honor, to save a life. You saved many. ❜ ❨1149❩ ❛ In this world, there are things you can only do alone. ❜ ❨1150❩ ❛ What seems like a reasonable distance to one person might feel too far to somebody else. ❜ ❨1151❩ ❛ If you really want to know something, you have to be willing to pay the price. ❜ ❨1152❩ ❛ Why should you be interested in me? ❜ ❨1153❩ ❛ I have been told I've got a darkish personality. A few times. ❜ ❨1154❩ ❛ It's not as if our lives are divided simply into light and dark. There's shadowy middle ground. ❜ ❨1155❩ ❛ I'll write to you. A super-long letter, like in an old-fashioned novel. ❜ ❨1156❩ ❛ The spotlight doesn't suit me. I'm more of a side dish. ❜ ❨1157❩ ❛ The ground we stand on looks solid enough, but if something happens it can drop right out from under you.  ❜ ❨1158❩ ❛ So once you're dead there's just nothing? ❜ ❨1159❩ ❛ If only I could fall sound asleep and wake up in my old reality. ❜ ❨1160❩ ❛ Is action merely the incidental product of thought, or is thought the consequential product of action? ❜ ❨1161❩ ❛ Nobody can shake off their own shadow. ❜ ❨1162❩ ❛ The silence is so deep it hurts. ❜ ❨1163❩ ❛ I may not look it, but I can be a very patient guy. ❜ ❨1164❩ ❛ Killing time is one of my specialities. ❜ ❨1165❩ ❛ You can't fight it. ❜ ❨1166❩ ❛ Tell me something,—do you believe in reincarnation? ❜ ❨1167❩ ❛ I can’t understand nothingness. I can’t understand it and I can’t imagine it. ❜ ❨1168❩ ❛ I can hardly breathe, and my whole body wants to shrink into a corner.  ❜ ❨1169❩ ❛ I do have a few things wrong with me, but those are strictly problems I keep inside. ❜ ❨1170❩ ❛ I can't take it any more, I can't go on any more. ❜ ❨1171❩ ❛ You don't really have it together. ❜ ❨1172❩ ❛ Is it against the law for me to know it? ❜ ❨1173❩ ❛ I keep having the same dream. ❜ ❨1174❩ ❛ Are you asking because you really want an answer? ❜ ❨1175❩ ❛ I hate this! I don't want to be changed this way! ❜ ❨1176❩ ❛ No contradictions, no irony. They do everything according to numerical formulas. ❜ ❨1177❩ ❛ Want to hear the rest? If you’re not interested, I can stop. ❜ ❨1178❩ ❛ If I didn’t have these memories inside me, I would’ve snapped a long time ago. I would’ve curled up in a ditch somewhere and died. ❜ ❨1179❩ ❛ I don’t know what you’re feeling. I won’t even pretend. ❜ ❨1180❩ ❛ What are you doing here, honey? ❜ ❨1181❩ ❛ You're not even old enough to know how bad life gets. ❜ ❨1182❩ ❛ You don't understand me. ❜ ❨1183❩ ❛ All wisdom ends in paradox. ❜ ❨1184❩ ❛ It is love that overthrows empire. Love that binds two hearts together, come hellfire & brimstone. ❜ ❨1185❩ ❛ I have lost my gift. ❜ ❨1186❩ ❛ Winter is the season of alcoholism and despair. ❜ ❨1187❩ ❛ The seeds of death get lost in the mess that God made us. ❜ ❨1188❩ ❛ They're just memories now. It’s time to forget. ❜ ❨1189❩ ❛ The time has to be right and the heart willing. ❜ ❨1190❩ ❛ The world, a tired performer, offers us another half-assed season. ❜ ❨1191❩ ❛ Capitalism has resulted in material well-being but spiritual bankruptcy. ❜ ❨1192❩ ❛ Grief is natural, overcoming it is a matter of choice. ❜ ❨1193❩ ❛ I want out of that decorating scheme. ❜ ❨1194❩ ❛ With most people suicide is like Russian roulette. Only one chamber has a bullet. ❜ ❨1195❩ ❛ You never get over it but you get where it doesn't bother you so much. ❜ ❨1196❩ ❛ Don't waste your time on life. ❜ ❨1197❩ ❛ I'm a teenager. I've got problems! ❜ ❨1198❩ ❛ Adolescents tend to seek love where they can find it. ❜ ❨1199❩ ❛ Obviously, you've never been a thirteen-year-old girl. ❜ ❨1200❩ ❛ It was a mistake. ❜ ❨1201❩ ❛ It seemed like we were supposed to feel sorry for everything that ever happened, ever. ❜ ❨1202❩ ❛ Buffeted but not broken. ❜ ❨1203❩ ❛ Shit. What have kids got to be worried about now? ❜ ❨1204❩ ❛ If they want trouble, they should go live in Bangladesh. ❜ ❨1205❩ ❛ I can't wait until I get out of here. ❜ ❨1206❩ ❛ When she jumped she probably thought she’d fly. ❜ ❨1207❩ ❛ I do not think the patient truly meant to end her life. Her act was a cry for help. ❜ ❨1208❩ ❛ You're a stone fox. ❜ ❨1209❩ ❛ It was love at first sight, at last sight, at ever and ever sight. ❜ ❨1210❩ ❛ Light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. ❜ ❨1211❩ ❛ He broke my heart. You merely broke my life. ❜ ❨1212❩ ❛ I'm sorry to have deceived you so much, but that's how life is. ❜ ❨1213❩ ❛ Words without experience are meaningless. ❜ ❨1214❩ ❛ I loved you. I was a monster, but I loved you. ❜ ❨1215❩ ❛ Come just as you are. ❜ ❨1216❩ ❛ If a violin string could ache, i would be that string. ❜ ❨1217❩ ❛ Perhaps, somewhere, some day, at a less miserable time, we may see each other again. ❜ ❨1218❩ ❛ What's so dreadful about dying is that you are completely on your own. ❜ ❨1219❩ ❛ Don't touch me; I'll die if you touch me. ❜ ❨1220❩ ❛ You took advantage of my disadvantage. ❜ ❨1221❩ ❛ I walk in a maze I cannot get out of. ❜ ❨1222❩ ❛ Life is just one small piece of light between two eternal darknesses. ❜ ❨1223❩ ❛ Imagine me; I shall not exist if you do not imagine me. ❜ ❨1224❩ ❛ There is no harm in smiling. ❜ ❨1225❩ ❛ There is no point in staying here. There is no point in staying anywhere. ❜ ❨1226❩ ❛ There is nothing more atrociously cruel than an adored child. ❜ ❨1227❩ ❛ I am so tired of being cynical. ❜ ❨1228❩ ❛ Come to live with me, and die with me, and everything with me. ❜ ❨1229❩ ❛ This is the only immortality that you and I may share. ❜ ❨1230❩ ❛ I loved her more than anything I had ever seen or imagined on earth, or hoped for anywhere else. ❜ ❨1231❩ ❛ I was despicable and brutal, and turpid, and everything, mais je t’aimais, je t’aimais! ❜ ❨1232❩ ❛ Years of secret suffering has taught me superhuman self-control. ❜ ❨1233❩ ❛ Solitude is corrupting me. I need company and care. ❜ ❨1234❩ ❛ I've missed you terribly. ❜ ❨1235❩ ❛ I've been revoltingly unfaithful to you. ❜ ❨1236❩ ❛ It doesn't matter a bit, because you've stopped caring anyway. ❜ ❨1237❩ ❛ What makes you say I've stopped caring for you? ❜ ❨1238❩ ❛ Nowadays you have to be a scientist if you want to be a killer. ❜ ❨1239❩ ❛ The sun climbs high in the sky, then starts down. People come, then go. ❜ ❨1240❩ ❛ Tell me, have you ever thought of killing me? ❜ ❨1241❩ ❛ I can not believe you are the same human being. ❜ ❨1242❩ ❛ Just how urgent is it? ❜ ❨1243❩ ❛ It is time for you to be going. ❜ ❨1244❩ ❛ How is it you know something like that? ❜ ❨1245❩ ❛ I don’t mind. Your mess is my mess. ❜ ❨1246❩ ❛ Everybody has one thing they do not want to lose. ❜ ❨1247❩ ❛ I’ll be late tonight, so don’t wait up for me. ❜ ❨1248❩ ❛ Nothing I’ve tried to do by myself has ever come off. ❜ ❨1249❩ ❛ I am not catching you in the middle of anything important, am I? ❜ ❨1250❩ ❛ Some things are forgotten, some things disappear, some things die. ❜ ❨1251❩ ❛ My biggest fault is that the faults I was born with grow bigger each year. ❜ ❨1252❩ ❛ To get irritated is to lose our way in life. ❜ ❨1253❩ ❛ A friend to kill time is a friend sublime. ❜ ❨1254❩ ❛ I don't really know if it's the right thing to do. ❜ ❨1255❩ ❛ Faster cars and more cats run over? Who needs it? ❜ ❨1256❩ ❛ Most of everything you think you know about me is nothing more than memories. ❜ ❨1257❩ ❛ Your fate is and will always be the fate of a dreamer. ❜ ❨1258❩ ❛ You’re loads better than you think you are. ❜ ❨1259❩ ❛ You’re only half-living, the other half is still untapped somewhere. ❜ ❨1260❩ ❛ The song is over. But the melody lingers on. ❜ ❨1261❩ ❛ You are extraordinary. ❜ ❨1262❩ ❛ We tend to fool ourselves into thinking that time is our size, but it really goes on and on. ❜ ❨1263❩ ❛ It could be five years or ten years or one month. It's all the same. ❜ ❨1264❩ ❛ I’m forever realising things too late. ❜ ❨1265❩ ❛ I’m not complaining when I say my life is boring. ❜ ❨1266❩ ❛ Weakness is something that rots in the body. ❜ ❨1267❩ ❛ Coming from your mouth, it has the ring of truth, but I doubt anyone would believe me if I told them. ❜ ❨1268❩ ❛ You can't expect something unreal to last anyway, can you? ❜ ❨1269❩ ❛ A wise man does not step betwixt the beast and his meat. ❜ ❨1270❩ ❛ So, kill me. Tell the others I attacked you so you killed me. ❜ ❨1271❩ ❛ Should never have come here. ❜ ❨1272❩ ❛ Hard to guess my tastes. ❜ ❨1273❩ ❛ Can’t it wait until the morning? ❜ ❨1274❩ ❛ You’ll find temper tantrums won’t help you here. ❜ ❨1275❩ ❛ It must have taken courage to return. ❜ ❨1276❩ ❛ It all sounds grimly dystopian. ❜ ❨1277❩ ❛ I am not afraid of you! ❜ ❨1278❩ ❛ All this could be avoided! ❜ ❨1279❩ ❛ You consider me a murderer? ❜ ❨1280❩ ❛ Gross way to die. ❜ ❨1281❩ ❛ What sparks wars? The will to power, the backbone of human nature. ❜ ❨1282❩ ❛ My life amounts to no more than one drop in a limitless ocean. Yet what is any ocean, but a multitude of drops? ❜ ❨1283❩ ❛ Our lives are not our own. We are bound to others. ❜ ❨1284❩ ❛ I believe there is another world waiting for us. A better world. And I'll be waiting for you there. ❜ ❨1285❩ ❛ You are allowed to feel messed up and inside out. It doesn't mean you're defective - it just means you're human. ❜ ❨1286❩ ❛ Power, time, gravity, love. The forces that really kick ass are all invisible. ❜ ❨1287❩ ❛ Unlimited power in the hands of limited people always leads to cruelty. ❜ ❨1288❩ ❛ Truth is singular. Its 'versions' are mistruths. ❜ ❨1289❩ ❛ Dreams are all I have ever truly owned. ❜ ❨1290❩ ❛ Your version of the truth is the only thing that matters. ❜ ❨1291❩ ❛ I believe death is only a door. One closes, and another opens. ❜ ❨1292❩ ❛ By each crime and every kindness, we birth our future. ❜ ❨1293❩ ❛ The healthy can't understand the emptied, the broken. ❜ ❨1294❩ ❛ Lying's wrong, but when the world spins backwards, a small wrong may be a big right. ❜ ❨1295❩ ❛ The weak are meat the strong do eat. ❜ ❨1296❩ ❛ Do whatever you can't not do. ❜ ❨1297❩ ❛ What precipitates outcomes? Vicious acts & virtuous acts. ❜ ❨1298❩ ❛ I remain thankful to God for all his mercies. ❜ ❨1299❩ ❛ You can maintain power over people, as long as you give them something. Rob a man of everything, and that man will no longer be in your power. ❜ ❨1300❩ ❛ Power. The ability to determine another man's luck. ❜ ❨1301❩ ❛ Pain is strong, aye - but friends' eyes, more strong. ❜ ❨1302❩ ❛ Perhaps those deprived of beauty perceive it most instinctively. ❜ ❨1303❩ ❛ Why ask a question whose answer would demand ten more questions? ❜ ❨1304❩ ❛ You can’t lie to your soul. ❜ ❨1305❩ ❛ Why would I want to do a thing like that? ❜ ❨1306❩ ❛ We start off with high hopes, then we bottle it. ❜ ❨1307❩ ❛ Better to make life as complete and enjoyable an experience as possible, in case death is shite, which I suspect it will be. ❜ ❨1308❩ ❛ I’m not running away, I’m moving on. ❜ ❨1309❩ ❛ The reasons? There are no reasons. ❜ ❨1310❩ ❛ Some people are easier to love when you don’t have to be around them. ❜ ❨1311❩ ❛ Love does not exist. ❜ ❨1312❩ ❛ Fuck that ‘regrets’ bullshit. ❜ ❨1313❩ ❛ How does it make you feel? ❜ ❨1314❩ ❛ It’s horrible how we always die alone, but no worse than living alone. ❜ ❨1315❩ ❛ Choose us. Choose life. ❜ ❨1316❩ ❛ You fucking knew that fucking cunt would fuck some cunt. ❜ ❨1317❩ ❛ I’m more of a warrior than you’ll ever be. ❜ ❨1318❩ ❛ What does that make us? The lowest of the low, the scum of the earth. ❜ ❨1319❩ ❛ You don’t have to run away.  ❜ ❨1320❩ ❛ I tried to stop because it was only causing pain. I couldn’t. ❜ ❨1321❩ ❛ I’m not going to get crushed. ❜ ❨1322❩ ❛ I love doubt in a woman. It’s nearly as sexy as determination. ❜ ❨1323❩ ❛ Take your best orgasm, multiply the feeling by twenty. ❜ ❨1324❩ ❛ You’re a mess. ❜ ❨1325❩ ❛ I know that it’s never left you alone. ❜ ❨1326❩ ❛ Are you asking me or telling me? ❜ ❨1327❩ ❛ You just get used to all the shit. ❜ ❨1328❩ ❛ You can’t afford a conscience in this life. ❜ ❨1329❩ ❛ None of us are saints and scapegoats are always handy. ❜ ❨1330❩ ❛ Doing things doesn’t hurt you; you get hurt by avoiding them. ❜ ❨1331❩ ❛ What was that? ❜ ❨1332❩ ❛ Protect me from those who wish to help us. ❜ ❨1333❩ ❛ You can’t love yourself if you want to hurt things like that. ❜ ❨1334❩ ❛ What happens when people open their hearts? ❜ ❨1335❩ ❛ Nobody likes being alone that much. ❜ ❨1336❩ ❛ I don’t go out of my way to make friends, that’s all. It just leads to disappointment.” ❨1337❩ ❛ Don’t feel sorry for yourself. Only assholes do that. ❜ ❨1338❩ ❛ You need to grab whatever chance you have of happiness where you find it, and not worry about other people too much. ❜ ❨1339❩ ❛ I want you always to remember me. ❜ ❨1340❩ ❛ Despite your best efforts, people are going to be hurt when it’s time for them to be hurt. ❜ ❨1341❩ ❛ What stays in your heart will stay; keep them, and what vanishes will vanish. ❜ ❨1342❩ ❛ All I want in this world is you. ❜ ❨1343❩ ❛ I want the two of us to begin everything from the beginning. ❜ ❨1344❩ ❛ No truth can cure the sorrow we feel from losing a loved one. ❜ ❨1345❩ ❛ What a terrible thing it is to wound someone you really care for and to do it so unconsciously. ❜ ❨1346❩ ❛ If you’re in pitch blackness, all you can do is sit tight until your eyes get used to the dark. ❜ ❨1347❩ ❛ I’ve had enough hurt already in my life. More than enough. Now I want to be happy. ❜ ❨1348❩ ❛ People leave strange little memories of themselves behind when they die. ❜ ❨1349❩ ❛ Stop eating yourself up alive. Things will go where they’re supposed to go if you just let them take their natural course. ❜ ❨1350❩ ❛ When your feelings build up and harden and die inside, then you’re in big trouble. ❜ ❨1351❩ ❛ When you fall in love, the natural thing to do is give yourself to it. ❜ ❨1352❩ ❛ If I have left a wound inside you, it is not just your wound but mine as well. ❜ ❨1353❩ ❛ Hey, what is it with you? Why are you so spaced out? You still haven’t answered me. ❜ ❨1354❩ ❛ People are strange when you’re a stranger. ❜ ❨1355❩ ❛ The dead will always be dead, but we have to go on living. ❜ ❨1356❩ ❛ You don’t get it, do you? ❜ ❨1357❩ ❛ I am a flawed human being - a far more flawed human being than you ❨1358❩ realise. ❜ ❨1359❩ ❛ At least let me know whether or not I hurt you. ❜ ❨1360❩ ❛ All of us are imperfect human beings living in an imperfect world. ❜ ❨1361❩ ❛ I’ve never once thought about how I was going to die. ❜ ❨1362❩ ❛ So I’m not crazy after all! ❜ ❨1363❩ ❛ I miss you terribly sometimes, but in general I go on living with all the energy I can muster. ❜ ❨1364❩ ❛ Will you wait for me forever? ❜ ❨1365❩ ❛ I don’t want our relationship to end like this. ❜ ❨1366❩ ❛ When am I going to be able to talk to you? I want you to tell me that much, at least. ❜ ❨1367❩ ❛ It hurts not being able to see you. ❜ ❨1368❩ ❛ I’m not totally mad at you. I’m just sad. ❜ ❨1369❩ ❛ The world is an inherently unfair place. ❜ ❨1370❩ ❛ Life frightens me sometimes. I don’t happen to take that as the premise for everything else though. ❜ ❨1371❩ ❛ I’m a real bargain, don’t you think? If you don’t take me, I’ll end up going somewhere else. ❜ ❨1372❩ ❛ We’re all kind of weird and twisted and drowning. ❜ ❨1373❩ ❛ Don’t you think it would be wonderful to get rid of everything and everybody and just go some place where you don’t know a soul? ❜ ❨1374❩ ❛ You’re not telling me anything I don’t know already. ❜ ❨1375❩ ❛ He who controls the past controls the future. He who controls the present controls the past. ❜ ❨1376❩ ❛ If you want to keep a secret, you must also hide it from yourself. ❜ ❨1377❩ ❛ We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness. ❜ ❨1378❩ ❛ Until they become conscious they will never rebel. ❜ ❨1379❩ ❛ Power is not a means; it is an end. ❜ ❨1380❩ ❛ They are not interested in the good of others; they are interested solely in power, pure power. ❜ ❨1381❩ ❛ Now you begin to understand me. ❜ ❨1382❩ ❛ In the face of pain there are no heroes. ❜ ❨1383❩ ❛ Big Brother is watching you. ❜ ❨1384❩ ❛ Power is tearing human minds to pieces and putting them together again in new shapes of your own choosing. ❜ ❨1385❩ ❛ It’s a beautiful thing, the destruction of words. ❜ ❨1386❩ ❛ The choice for mankind lies between freedom and happiness and for the great bulk of mankind, happiness is better. ❜ ❨1387❩ ❛ Your mind appeals to me. It resembles my own mind. ❜ ❨1388❩ ❛ Reality exists in the human mind, and nowhere else. ❜ ❨1389❩ ❛ We do not merely destroy our enemies; we change them. ❜ ❨1390❩ ❛ How can I help it? How can I help but see what is in front of my eyes? ❜ ❨1391❩ ❛ You must try harder. ❜ ❨1392❩ ❛ Confession is not betrayal. ❜ ❨1393❩ ❛ What you say or do doesn’t matter; only feelings matter. ❜ ❨1394❩ ❛ If they could make me stop loving you —- that would be the real betrayal. ❜ ❨1395❩ ❛ Of pain you can wish only one thing: that it should stop. ❜ ❨1396❩ ❛ To die hating them, that will be freedom. ❜ ❨1397❩ ❛ No one ever seizes power with the intention of relinquishing it. ❜ ❨1398❩ ❛ What can you do against the lunatic who is more intelligent than yourself? ❜ ❨1399❩ ❛ To keep them in control is not difficult. ❜ ❨1400❩ ❛ So long as they are not permitted to have standards of comparison, they never even become aware that they are oppressed. ❜ ❨1401❩ ❛ The consequences of every act are included in the act itself. ❜ ❨1402❩ ❛ The essential act of war is destruction, not necessarily of human lives, but of the products of human labour. ❜ ❨1403❩ ❛ Stupidity is as necessary as intelligence, and as difficult to attain. ❜ ❨1404❩ ❛ I hate purity, I hate goodness! I don’t want virtue to exist anywhere. I want everyone to be corrupt to the bones. ❜ ❨1405❩ ❛ The past is dead, the future is unimaginable. ❜ ❨1406❩ ❛ You know the answer already. Everyone knows it. ❜ ❨1407❩ ❛ You don’t give a damn what they suffer. All you care is yourself. ❜ ❨1408❩ ❛ It is not easy to become sane. ❜ ❨1409❩ ❛ No emotion is pure anymore, because everything is mixed up with fear and hatred. ❜ ❨1410❩ ❛ They say that time heals all things —- they say you can always forget. ❜ ❨1411❩ ❛ The object of waging a war is always to be in a better position in which to wage another war. ❜ ❨1412❩ ❛ I sold you and you sold me. ❜ ❨1413❩ ❛ You do not exist. ❜ ❨1414❩ ❛ How does one man assert his power over another? By making him suffer. ❜ ❨1415❩ ❛ Obedience is not enough. Unless he is suffering, how can you be sure that he is obeying your will and not his own? ❜ ❨1416❩ ❛ Everything else we shall destroy – everything. ❜ ❨1417❩ ❛ Two and two makes five. ❜ ❨1418❩ ❛ Facts, at any rate, can not be kept hidden. ❜ ❨1419❩ ❛ The past is whatever the records and the memories agree upon. ❜ ❨1420❩ ❛ So long as human beings stay human, death and life are the same thing. ❜ ❨1421❩ ❛ If both the past and the external world exist only in the mind, and if the mind itself is controllable—what then? ❜ ❨1422❩ ❛ The lie became the truth. ❜ ❨1423❩ ❛ It is like swimming against a current that sweeps you backwards however hard you struggle. ❜ ❨1424❩ ❛ Turn round and go with the current instead of opposing it. ❜ ❨1425❩ ❛ It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything. ❜ ❨1426❩ ❛ I don’t want to die without any scars. ❜ ❨1427❩ ❛ This is your life and it’s ending one moment at a time. ❜ ❨1428❩ ❛ You know how they say you only hurt the ones you love? Well, it works both ways. ❜ ❨1429❩ ❛ You are not your job, you’re not how much money you have in the bank. You are not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. ❜ ❨1430❩ ❛ You are not special. ❜ ❨1431❩ ❛ You’re not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You’re the same decaying organic matter as everything else. ❜ ❨1432❩ ❛ The things you used to own, now they own you. ❜ ❨1433❩ ❛ Today is the sort of day where the sun only comes up to humiliate you. ❜ ❨1434❩ ❛ Maybe we have to break everything to make something better out of ourselves. ❜ ❨1435❩ ❛ Only after disaster can we be resurrected. ❜ ❨1436❩ ❛ Everything is evolving, everything is falling apart. ❜ ❨1437❩ ❛ We’ve all been raised believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. ❜ ❨1438❩ ❛ Don’t you have other things to do? ❜ ❨1439❩ ❛ Prove you’re alive. If you don’t claim your humanity you will become a statistic. ❜ ❨1440❩ ❛ You have been warned. ❜ ❨1441❩ ❛ If you don’t know what you want, you end up with a lot you don’t. ❜ ❨1442❩ ❛ It’s not love or anything, but I think I like you, too. ❜ ❨1443❩ ❛ If I could wake up in a different place, at a different time, could I wake up as a different person? ❜ ❨1444❩ ❛ Why did I cause so much pain? ❜ ❨1445❩ ❛ The lower you fall, the higher you’ll fly. ❜ ❨1446❩ ❛ Maybe self-improvement isn’t the answer, maybe self-destruction is the answer. ❜ ❨1447❩ ❛ May I never be complete. May I never be content. May I never be perfect. ❜ ❨1448❩ ❛ Everyone smiles with that invisible gun to their head. ❜ ❨1449❩ ❛ We are not special. We are not crap or trash, either. We just are. We just are, and what happens just happens. ❜ ❨1450❩ ❛ The girl is infectious human waste. ❜ ❨1451❩ ❛ I want to destroy everything beautiful I’ll never have. ❜ ❨1452❩ ❛ On a long enough time line, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero. ❜ ❨1453❩ ❛ If you could be either God’s worst enemy or nothing, which would you choose? ❜ ❨1454❩ ❛ It is like you’re never really awake; but you’re never really asleep. ❜ ❨1455❩ ❛ Worker bees can leave. Even drones can fly away. The Queen is their slave. ❜ ❨1456❩ ❛ A moment is the most you could ever expect from perfection. ❜ ❨1457❩ ❛ The people you’re trying to step on, we’re everyone you depend on. ❜ ❨1458❩ ❛ You have to give up! ❜ ❨1459❩ ❛ Reject the basic assumptions of civilisation, especially the importance of material possessions. ❜ ❨1460❩ ❛ Without pain, without sacrifice we would have nothing. ❜ ❨1461❩ ❛ You have to realise that someday you will die, Until you know that, you are useless. ❜ ❨1462❩ ❛ A tiger can smile. A snake will say it loves you. ❜ ❨1463❩ ❛ Lies make us evil. ❜ ❨1464❩ ❛ If you died right now, how would you feel about your life? ❜ ❨1465❩ ❛ You always kill the one you love. ❜ ❨1466❩ ❛ Maybe we should always assume the worst. ❜ ❨1467❩ ❛ Put a gun to my head and paint the wall with my brains. ❜ ❨1468❩ ❛ Which is worse? Hell or nothing? ❜ ❨1469❩ ❛ A minute of perfection is worth the effort. ❜ ❨1470❩ ❛ You’re going to die, tonight. You might die in one second or in one hour, you decide. ❜ ❨1471❩ ❛ Lie to me. Tell me the first thing off the top of your head. Make something up. ❜ ❨1472❩ ❛ I don’t give a shit. I have a gun. ❜ ❨1473❩ ❛ I know who you are. I know where you live. ❜ ❨1474❩ ❛ Tomorrow will be the most beautiful day of your life. ❜ ❨1475❩ ❛ My philosophy of life is that I can die at any moment. And the tragedy of my life is that I do not. ❜ ❨1476❩ ❛ Everything is so far away, a copy of a copy of a copy. You can’t touch anything and nothing can touch you. ❜ ❨1477❩ ❛ There are a lot of things we don’t want to know about the people we love. ❜ ❨1478❩ ❛ We just had a near-life experience. ❜ ❨1479❩ ❛ If people think you are dying, they give you their full attention. They listen instead of just waiting for their turn to speak. ❜ ❨1480❩ ❛ I am nothing, and not even that. ❜ ❨1481❩ ❛ This isn’t really death. —- We’ll be legends. We won’t grow old. ❜ ❨1482❩ ❛ Stop trying to control everything and just let go. Let go. ❜ ❨1483❩ ❛ The amazing miracle of death, when one second you’re walking and talking, and the next second you’re an object. ❜ ❨1484❩ ❛ Only if we’re caught and punished can we be saved. ❜ ❨1485❩ ❛ I never thought about how important the sky was until I didn't have one. ❜ ❨1486❩ ❛ Dreams are like that: they go in and out of memories and scenes, but they're never real. They're never real, and I hate them because they aren't. ❜ ❨1487❩ ❛ Power isn’t control at all — power is strength, and giving that strength to others. ❜ ❨1488❩ ❛ A leader isn’t someone who forces others to make him stronger. ❜ ❨1489❩ ❛ A leader is someone willing to give his strength to others that they may have the strength to stand on their own. ❜ ❨1490❩ ❛ In the end, we are alone. ❜ ❨1491❩ ❛ It is like a piece of my soul is lost, empty. ❜ ❨1492❩ ❛ If my life on Earth must end, let it end with a promise. Let it end with hope. ❜ ❨1493❩ ❛ Sorry? Sorry isn't enough. ❜ ❨1494❩ ❛ Every single thing I ever loved is beyond my reach now. Everything I ever wanted. Everything I ever was. ❜ ❨1495❩ ❛ Will you stay with me? ❜ ❨1496❩ ❛ A leader doesn't make pawns - he makes people. ❜ ❨1497❩ ❛ Do you hear that? The pulse of life from your heart, the slow in-and-out from your lungs? Even when you are silent, even when you block out all noise, your body is still a cacophony of life. Mine is not. ❜ ❨1498❩ ❛ It is the silence that drives me mad. The silence that drives the nightmares to me. ❜ ❨1499❩ ❛ There is nothing between us but rain. There is nothing between us at all. ❜ ❨1500❩ ❛ I like a little chaos. ❜

[slugtranslation-hypmic]

The kid questions remind me of something funny I experienced recently. So my nephews (8 and 14) live with me and play Fortnite regularly. On one of these occasions, I exited the bathroom and was met with an 8 year old shouting, "I JUST WANT TO DANCE WITH YOU, BRO!" You've worked with kids before, right? Any hilarious stories you have of kids saying or doing stuff that only kids would think of?

Yeah, I worked with kids for about four and a half years. They were really awesome, but I'm having a hard time remembering particular funny moments apart from these.

One year in December, I asked a fifth grade student (around 10 years old) if his family celebrated any winter holidays, and when he said they celebrated Christmas, we chatted a bit about what he wanted for Christmas. Then he asked me what I wanted or expected to get for Christmas. At the time, I was still living at home but had been otherwise cut off financially from my parents (long story, but they weren't happy that I was having issues managing my disability, so they wanted to incentivize me to shape up. It didn't really work, but I shaped up in other ways later down the line), so I said, "I don't think I'll get anything." Then he said, in complete earnestness, "Why? Were you naughty?" And something about his delivery cracked me up. I apologized for laughing and explained that I don't celebrate Christmas (a harmless lie) but this still goes through my head every year.

A fourth grade student (around 9 years old) tried to teach me to floss (the dance move), but didn't have the faintest idea how to do it himself.

A first grade student (around 6 years old) called me a "sussy baka" apropos of nothing.

A tenth grade student (around 15 years old) took on a Southern accent out of nowhere at some point near the beginning of the school year and advised me to "stay in school" and not "end up workin' out here in the fields" like him. He does not, in fact, work in the fields. His family is very well-off.

Same student heard I was leaving and asked why. Since he was one of the older students, I told him a condensed version of the truth - ie, that I needed to find a better paying job soon because I was losing my housing. He promptly invited me to crash on his parent's couch (in a fake Southern accent) since "you're a friend of the family. We know you're good people." Very sweet offer. Hilarious delivery.

A sixth grade student (around 11 years old) was writing acrostic poems in her notebook based on her own name. You know how if your name is Rei, you'd be like Responsible, Excellent, Intelligent, or whatever? That's what she was doing. And most of hers were the usual positive adjectives you'd expect, but when she got to the Y in her name, she wrote Yelling. I think about this at least once a day. We should all strive to be like her.

A sixth grade student (also around 11) liked to tell me about their special interests after lessons whenever I was up at my desk doing administrative stuff, and one time they were telling me the plot of a "book" they were reading. (It was not a book. It was clearly a Percy Jackson fanfic.) I think the devil possessed me for a minute there, because I said, "That sounds so cool! What's the name of this book?" and they turned white and went, "I, uh... forgot."

A ninth grade student (around 14) wrote a cover of Eminem's Rap God as "Math God" and tried to get our manger at the time to rap it. She did not.

A fifth grader (around age 10) once asked me if I was a middle schooler.

A sixth grader (around age 11) once asked me if I was a father.

A different sixth grader (around age 11) who had known me for three years was shocked to find out I was 21 and not, in fact, 16 like she assumed. You really thought I was 13 when we first met??

Shortly after we moved online when the pandemic broke out, a different different sixth grader said to me, "Okay, now that we're online and my mom's not listening" - my stomach dropped - "can you tell me if you've ever ran into any Karens?? My mom is SUCH a Karen."

A tenth grade student (age 15) came in every day wearing a different top hat decorated in steam punk style and addressed everyone in a fake British gentlemanly accent. He also sometimes came in carrying a cape. LOVED that young man's style. I hope he's living his best life.

These kids were incredible, and I miss the hell out of them. I hope they're all doing well.

[scott-mccall-the-hot-girl]

my ultimate guide to thiam fic !!

( as a new teen wolf stan )

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the classic post war, long ass (multi chapter) fic !!with great development that genuinely made me laugh out loud, they have the best friendship in this & i love it very much. ( like theo teaches liam to drive and i just *happy sobs* ) a fundamental in thiam fanfiction !! all stans have probably already read it but if you haven’t this is in fact a threat ,, go show this vv iconic story some love !!

Airplanes - Captainmintyfresh

Summary: After the Anuk-ite and the hunters are dealt with Liam needs a break. Cue Theo and a road trip that Liam should know better than to think will be peaceful.

Not Rated, No Archive Warnings Apply, Completed, 43/43 Chapters, Words: 236,875 (236k)

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okay okay so this one is also post 6B !! but ,, now we introduce fighting monroe & the hunters again ,, so we get the boys & a new mission !! so if you like an intresting plot 11/10 would recommend !! just to be clear this ISN’T complete ,, if that turns you off i understand but definitely give this one a read !! it litterally have theo doing crossword puzzles & fighting zombies

Vacancy Signs - LovelyLittleGrim

Summary: Theo and Liam are in Manhattan negotiating a pack allyship when the zombie apocalypse breaks out. Now, the two of them have to find their way back to Beacon Hills without getting eaten by zombies or killing one another.

Rated: Explicit, Graphic Description of Violence, Not Completed, 15/17 Chapters, Words: 89,605 (89k)

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Royalty AU !! I REPEAT ROYALTY AU !! a fantastic au where i stan their moms more than i stan them !! genuinely so good at the childhood rivals to lovers trope !! i’m genuinely obsessed with this one. has made me cry more than once ,, hurts in a good way <3 the ending is just *chefs kiss* also one of the tags is genuinely: # theo and liam make bad choices for over 130k straight !! if that doesn’t sound appealing i don’t know what does !!

Artificial Love - songbvrd

Summary: Prince Theo and Prince Liam are forced to spend every Summer together from age five onwards. They hate each other, and usually find ways to make each other miserable as much as possible in their six weeks together. But when they're reunited because of intended unions as adults, things change. They're both supposed to be married to noble women, but neither of them is as interested in anyone else as they are with their childhood rival.

Rated: Mature, No Archive Warnings Apply, Completed, Chapters: 32/32, Words: 172,935 (172k)

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so if you are in the mood for a crack fic that’s not explicitally a crack fic this is for you !! okay so i’m really hit or miss with AU’s ,, sometimes i feel like they don’t quite capture the characters right but this story have the BEST dramatic liam i have ever seen in my life !! basically they all live in the same apartment building & it’s fantastic !! i saw this one floating around a lot but the summary didn’t really unrest me until i have it a shot !! so go read it rn !! also nolan & brett are genuinely fantastic and make me wheeze ,, LIKE ACTUALLY VERBALLY LAUGHING !! all i’m gonna say is that my fav characters are scott & the beetles but that won’t make actual sense until you read it !!

The Neighbors Song - TheodoreR

Summary: “I always hear you singing on your balcony every morning, but suddenly you’ve stopped?”

Or the one where Theo annoys Liam every morning with his awful singing until he doesn’t anymore and Liam is even more annoyed. Liam hates every single thing about his mornings -the fact that they happen in the morning alone is enough. The thing Liam hates the most about his mornings though is the terrible voice of the guy who lives below him. He can’t sing for shit and Liam tried to politely let him understand that by throwing flour and water on his balcony, and also by shouting it to him, you can’t sing for shit!, and then by writing it into a note he proceeded to attach to his door, but this Raeken guy just keeps doing it, every single morning, like a fucking rooster. Liam did nothing to deserve this. He probably didn’t do anything to deserve better either to be fair, he doesn’t expect to open his window and be welcomed by some angelic voice singing him good morning, he’d just be happy with nothing. Silence. That’s something Liam can appreciate in mornings. Just some bark from his dog and the sound of his misery and that’s it. But no, god forbid the new guy lets him have that.

Rated: Explicit, Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Wanrings, Completed, 8/8 Chapters, Words: 42,814 (42k)

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me: i’m not a big fan of AU’s ,, proceeds to talk about ANOTHER au… OKAY BUT THIS ONE !! it’s not complete but the author has been updating regularly ,, vv slow burn !! but in a REALLY intresting way !! i lOVE LIAM IN THIS SO MUCH ,, he is such a diaster of a person and it’s wonderful !! they have a great dynamic & i’m sucker for general puppy pack content ( and erica reyes being a badass ) !! also theo plays lacrosse in this & i really like it ahhhhh ,, also liam is just being an artic monkeys stan the whole time & theo is like *que confused repressed gay noises*

Inglorious Roommates - honeyscape

Summary: A roommate is defined as “a person with whom one shares a room.”

Theo would say a roommate was more along the lines of, “The person who's the bane of his existence. The weirdo that sleeps for days. The spaz that exercises at 3am. The guy with a revolving door of annoying friends. An insufferable human being that Theo has no control over living in his room.”

Example: Theo hates his roommate Liam.

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okay okay i hate myself but i have another WIP for y’all !! this one is jUST FANTASTIC. i’m genuinely so upset it’s most likely not going to updated again *incoherent screaming ensues*. for this story ,, it’s very theo-centric bUT thats bc it ends right before liam becomes a concrete member of the story !! ANYWAY: basic plot = theo & acquiring not one but two children ,, so #dad theo but he is still crusty & homeless and i love him very much. it’s just so GOOD !! just read if you want to experience my fav theo coming out story & him etching high school musical

Look who's talking - Captainmintyfresh

Summary: Theo had been labeled many things in his life. Evil, failure, monster. He'd never thought Father would be one of those things but as he looked across the table to a six year old with blue smears of bubble gum icecream across her face trying to coax the first words out of her sister. Finger jabbing towards Theo's face as she repeated 'Daddy' again and again he couldn't bring himself to dispute the label.

(Theo accidentally adopts two young werewolves)

Not Rated, Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings, Not Completed, Chapters: 16/?, Words: 48740 ( 48k )

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so here me out: post-canon ( poetry like angst ) summer get away !! just the boys doing cute little domestic things together whilst pining !! theo’s guilt in this is just so powerful & aGjffkgkkfkvkdlv !! i think it’s so interesting to see how they interact in this one, it’s just very heart warming !! and it features one of my favorite niche teen wolf tropes of theo being great with like seven year old girls- it’s just so good ,, very much a wonderful little one shot that just makes your heart happy.

(next time i see you you'll show me) a hundred different ways to say the same things - cherrysprite

Summary: “...You deserve good things,” Liam says eventually. He makes sure not to look at Theo even though he can feel his eyes turn on him. Somehow he can already tell that Theo doesn’t believe him.

Liam instantly makes that the goal of this summer - making Theo believe him.

Rating: Teen and Up, No Archive Warnings Apply, Chapters: 1/1, Words: 28875 ( 28k )

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okay so this next section of fic recs is a bit different !!

two of my favorite authors !! and a compilation of fics i’ve read by them both !!

for context: these two have written some genuinely gorgeous fics, like pure poetry, they explore the real gritty & scary side of our boys relationship in such a wonderful way. they’ve both used some of my favorite tropes & i love them very much !!

whenever i need something soothing but so genuinely intresting & enticing these are my go to !! ( also they both write a lot of good nolan angst & some vv good fics with hayden )

go check out:

eneiryu

as well as fallingforboys

here are some of my favorite fics by them ~

darling i want you here in my arms (kiss the pain away, i know you can) - fallingforboys

even before you touched me, i belonged to you (all you had to do was look at me) - fallingforboys

memories linger like tattoo scars (but your touch on my skin is just as permanent) - fallingforboys

skin, bones, a stolen heart, and an ugly creature lurking underneath -fallingforboys

i don't know how to breathe in the place i called home - fallingforboys

whisper your gossamer truths into the shadow, maybe you'll find the answers you're searching for - fallingforboys

between the mountains and the valley we built a monument to our regret - eneiryu

cracked the hinges of the cage and waited for you - eneiryu

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okay and finally: since i am a self centered whore

my own fic: an rendition of the # elevator scene

it’s basically my version of post canon if we did get the kiss in the elevator. we got a classic liam pov in which he is has 12/10 for extreme bi diaster energy even whilst being shot at !! so go him ig…

Fuck Off, Fuck This & Fuck It! - nefelibata_peach

Summary: Liam thought to himself heart rate climbing, they were bound to be dead by morning. So he thought with everything but his brain and he kissed him.

Where Liam Dunbar is very confused, slightly traumatized, and just a bit scared but hey, aren't they all! Bad decisions ensue as two boys fight in a war they never did sign up for.

Rating: Teen and Up, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Chapters: 1/1, Words: 3558 ( 3k )