#((that soo true you should make another character

[show-pony-online]

oh shit do you remember her? or have you just talked to her

are humans usually this angry all the time????? I feel like a ticking time bomb.

[pjo-tvs-version]

I know that no one asked but I just wanted to add my two cents to the current pjo era we are having right now...

First off, I love Rick and the books he has written but honestly tsast and wottg aren't some of his best works. That's not the problem because yeah not all books can be amazing but the problem is that they are his most recent ones. Cotg was better than these 2 but it too had it's drawbacks. Now I have this thing where if I like something then however bad it it, I try to make myself enjoy it. It's like a coping mechanism- delusion. But with wottg, I actually sat back and thought. Since when did I take a week to finish a pjo book? I am the person who finished Hoo in like less than a week and I took a week to finish wottg which took me aback. The characters were very oc. Grover was perhaps the only character close to his actual well character. I don't usually nitpick but like I had said in a post earlier, continuity and callbacks in a book series are what make them extremely enjoyable and small textual errors are like pricking needles to me.

My main issue was Annabeth and then Percy. Look in know in this fandom there are many Annabeth antis and that's fine, I accept that. But now the worst part is that what they have said about Annabeth is to some extent true in this current Annabeth version we have. Look Leah is great and I love her with all my heart but Rick please don't mingle both of them together. Let show cannon be separate and book cannon to itself. Let Annabeth in wottg be her book character like please. She has friends? Great! The main thing we know about her friends are that they think Percy isn't GOOD ENOUGH for her? Awful! She is the mom friend? Okay(though I personally believe it should be Grover but fine if people are okay with it this is just a personal opinion guys)! BUT that should not make Percy 'alley boy.'

This brings me to the second part. We love Percy and love his humor. Well I recently reread the Battle of the Labyrinth (don't ask why I don't know I just had the sudden urge to read it). He isn't very confident and does underestimate himself often but it wasn't taken this FAR. Every single next line was describing how Percy sucks at everything while Annabeth is here in all her perfect glory and believe it or not this is coming from me, who loves Annabeth. I love Percabeth because it's a balance. They balance off each other soo well. They both comfort each other. They both know that they are smart. They both know that the other person has flaws. But in wottg it's just downright annoying because the dynamic is just "ooh look my gf is soo amazing, totally flawless with no error and here is me who sucks at any and every thing possible." This isn't the Percy we know nor Annabeth nor Percabeth.

LET ANNABETH BE IMPERFECT! AND PLEASE GIVE PERCY THERAPY because he needs it. For the next book Rick please just hire a better editor because I am not going into the MISTAKES in these books. You can hire me if you want because I swear I can do a better job than your editor. Seriously literally any pjo fan would do a better job. Wottg felt like maybe the second draft of the work which required maybe 3 more drafts to be published. It felt like an unchecked fanfiction and believe me that I have seen better fanfictions on AO3. The pjo fandom is an extremely loyal fanbase which is an extremely cool thing. But the problem here is that people like m even though I didn't really enjoy wottg, I would still hope for a better sequel because gaaahhhh optimism. I am actually wary of the sequel to tsast but that's for another post.

Whew! Talking so negatively about something was a new experience for me because I absolutely love pjo and will always keep it close to my heart. Rick please for the sake of advertisement please don't publish uncooked gibberish because it actually breaks my heart too see the hate and for once I understand it. Anyway, wottg wasn't all that bad. To balance out this post, I'll make one on the portions I liked because there were a few moments that were worth reading. Extremely sorry for the scattered thoughts and the rant but thank you and have a great day everyone !

[bvidzsoo]

Love Me Like A Rockstar (9)

ー☆ Chapter 9: You (Show Me Where My Days Went)

Author: bvidzsoo

Pairing: Song Mingi x female reader

ー☆ Warning: cursing ー☆ Word count: 9.8k ー☆ Genre: university!au, enemies to lovers!au, rockstar!au ー☆ Rating: sfw ー☆ Summary: Love. You wanted none of it. You had already been heartbroken very badly once, you didn't wish to go through that ever again. But the Universe works in intricate ways and, somehow, you found yourself webbed up in a local rockstar's life, Song Mingi. He was everything you expected him to be, yet nothing like you imagined him he would be. What happens when you find mutual understanding and have heartful conversations? Will he be able to break down your walls? Will you be able to chase away his darkness?

A/N: Hi, lovelies!! LMLAR is BACK!! I am sooo happy I could finally update and just write, y'all have no idea! I am so sorry for making you wait so long for this update, but finishing my thesis was super important! I still have to study and such this month, but I promise next update won't take as long as this one did! (I'm writing other stories too while writing this one, so that kinda backfires sometimes lol) I am forever grateful that you are patient and stick around for the new chapters, this story is so dear to me you wouldn't even believe it. I am also super grateful and happy whenever you leave feedback, so please, keep on doing just that!<3 This chapter only exists because I was randomly inspired, and I'd like to apologize if it's a little rusty, I always have to get in "character" when I write this story lol. I am soo excited for next chapter, I think it's going to surprise you hehe. PLS PLS imagine that airport look from Mingi when reading this chapter, the pics from the moodboard, you'll see during which part! I also have a very small surprise at the end of this chapter hehe. I hope the time jumps aren't too confusing:(( Please, listen to the song called You before or while reading! Enough yapping, I hope you enjoy and leave feedback! (Taglist is always open for those interested! ^^)

Taglist: @orshii @or5i @lovely-red2 @scarfac3 @juicy-red @sunaswifes-blog @voicesinmyhead-rc @teez-the-time @maru-matt @kyeos4ng @deathbyyeekies @chicksmoothie @mjlbn01 @xhexy @tmtxtf @hwashiningstar @thatfavouritesong @ateez-atiny380

⟨Series M.list ↭ Previous Chapter⟩

♫Playlist♫

Later that day

I hate him: hey…just checking in that I got home safely what are u up to?

I blinked, fingers tightening around my phone before I locked it, leaving the message on unread. My mother’s shuffling outside my door caught my attention, bringing a smile onto my lips as I watched her struggle while bringing all the dirty laundry to the bathroom. Then, I got off my bed to go help her.

Friday (11:30 am)

I hate him: i see u still haven’t checked my message… nothing too worrisome u certainly know how to make a man yearn for you lol that was a joke…dont freak out on me pls (lowkey true tho)

Friday (12:50 pm)

I hate him: lol, wooyoung has been bitching about seulgi’s professor for half an hour now mr. kwon u know him? i mean…i suppose he also teaches u i should take a sneaky video for u…wooyoung looks like a clown hanging upside down my bed and pouting like a damn child too (dont say im also one, thanks)

Friday (15:26 pm)

I hate him: well…ik my messages are going through so uh… why tf are u ignoring me???! *cries and dies in loneliness* entertain me dollll!!! im so bored pls oh…u said u had an important assignment…i bet u’re busy with that sorry for spamming u (text back tho when u’re done, im dying here…wooyoung is with seulgi and so is seonghwa with hongjoong…the single life sucks, bestie…lets be single and depressed together<3)

My jaw clenched as I heaved a long sigh, falling back on my bed as the sun shone brightly through my open window, the light breeze making me shiver as I only wore a t-shirt and sweats. Autumn was slowly turning into winter; the weather wasn’t so warm anymore. I threw another look at my phone, unlocked it, and stared at the received messages from Mingi for a second before finally deciding to delete them from my notification center, rolling over in bed to muffle a frustrated scream into my soft, and purple, pillow.

            Saturday (9:09 am)

I hate him: i had the weirdest dream and im not even sure i want to tell u about it LOL but uh…a grisly was chasing me??? and then u appeared on a fucking white horse like a prince LOL and threatened to like…slay it if it didnt leave me alone??? honestly…what a slay, bestie good morning, btw, doll hope u had a better night’s sleep than me (and dreamed of me ehehehe)

            Saturday (17:40 pm)

I hate him: i cant believe i allowed myself to be fooled like this back in highschool yuyu and i used to play baseball for shits and giggles and hongjoong (that rich prick) rented a whole ass baseball field for us for the afternoon and let us play with some of his (rich af) friends and uh… i think i wont be able to walk straight for another week with how much running i did… hongjoong kept scoring homeruns…i wish yuyu was here to kick his loser ass (dont tell hwa or hong i said that PLS) yo doll…everything’s alright with u? uh u…really havent answered me since… yk…i stayed over and waited for the rain to stop… have i done something wrong?

I sighed and put my phone on ‘do not disturb’, suddenly having lost all of my appetite as I forced the rest of the lettuce down my throat. My mother was sipping her kiwi and apple smoothie, eyes narrowed as she muttered to herself while trying to memorize the recipe of a dessert for later. Desserts were never her forte, unfortunately.

“Is it Seulgi?” She asked absentmindedly as I took a large gulp of my own smoothie, staring down at my salad, steak pushed to the side in my plate.

“Huh?” I asked distracted, eyes still glued to the dark screen of my phone.

“Texting you, your phone keeps buzzing, my starlight.” I rolled my eyes at the nickname, but didn’t bother to comment on it. I took a peek at my mother and her eyes were narrowed at me already, video on YouTube paused. Fuck, I had to answer her now or else she’d pester me all day long. And that would be a nightmare.

“Yeah, it’s Seulgi.” I lied, trying to make my voice sound convincing.

“Well, answer her then, don’t be rude.” My mother chastised me, pressing play on her video again, pursing her lips as she shook her head at whatever the man baking was saying.

“Later.” I whispered, biting my lower lip as my eyes remained glued to my phone, stomach clenching and heart dropping.

But I couldn’t.

            Sunday (1:01 am)

I hate him: …you’re ignoring me, arent u? im sorry, y/n, i dont know what i did wrong, but we can talk about it we’re friends, after all…right?

『When you came along, I knew what was wrong

If you want to know exactly what I've missed』

            Monday (present time)

            It truly would have been a missed opportunity if Seulgi and I wouldn’t have grabbed coffee and went to sit in our usual spot in the back garden. The campus of our University was huge and that was perfect, because it meant people migrated and didn’t stay in one spot for long—at least long enough to irritate me to no end. Last week deemed to be rather rough, and I still didn’t feel like completely myself. To be honest, I thought about staying home today—and for the rest of the week—but I couldn’t afford missing any of my classes as exam period was slowly nearing, and so, I had to force my ass out of the house this morning before my mother could come and nag me about my weirdly unusual broody mood that has been going on for the past few days.

I hummed as I took a sip of my sweet coffee, enjoying the taste of warm caramel as Seulgi sighed loudly next to me, both hands cupped around her own coffee cup. The scent of cinnamon wafted from her cup and I scrunched up my nose, not too fond of the ingredient’s smell. Our classes started early in the morning today and we’d be here for at least four more hours, caffeine seemed like our only hope to stay awake and aware at this point. Given the fact that my baffling thoughts kept me up all night yesterday, I felt grateful that I was still on my feet at two o’clock at noon. As Seulgi fidgeted again, I chuckled and finally turned my head to look at her. She had a sheepish look on her face, and I tried not to laugh as I knew she was bursting to tell me all about her date with Wooyoung on Saturday.

“Well,” I started as I took a sip of my coffee, prolonging the suspense for her, “how did your date go?”

“It was amazing!” I had barely finished asking as Seulgi exclaimed, her cheeks turning rosy—and it wasn’t due to the cold air, “Wooyoung is—everything I thought he would be. He’s sweet and up for anything, he makes me laugh until I feel like passing out, and there’s just never a dull moment with him, you know?”

“One would expect that from him.” I muttered against my cup, laughing as Seulgi nudged my side, not looking too happy with my comment, “Oh, come on, it would be hard for Wooyoung to be different than the way he mostly presents himself; don’t you think?”

Seulgi grumbled something against her cup as she lightly bit into the carton, shooting me a pointed stare, “Well, yes, but…he makes me happy. Treats me well and all that, you know, he’s the perfect embodiment of what a boyfriend should be like.”

“Boyfriend, huh?” I teased with a smirk, wriggling my eyebrows at my best friend as her cheeks flushed an even darker color as she bit her lower lip, trying to mask the huge grin expanding on her lips. But as soon as I started giggling, Seulgi also broke out in a fit of giggles, hiding herself behind her wavy hair, pressing her cup of coffee against her face.

“God, I’m so down bad for him, Y/N, I don’t think you’d understand.” She mused, voice airy as she threw her head back, leaning back against the back of the bench. I chuckled and took another sip of my drink.

“Maybe I’d do.” I muttered, memories of my relationship with Yunho resurfacing. Thankfully, however, I managed to repress them as quickly as they came. They didn’t feel so gut-wrenching anymore, and to my surprise, didn’t leave a bitter taste in its wake either. What has changed? Certainly—certainly getting closer to his best friend didn’t influence the way I feel about Yunho, right? Right.

“So,” I glanced at Seulgi from the corner of my eyes as she swung her legs, looking down at her feet in the process, “how are you?”

“Fine, why?” I asked confused, angling my body to face Seulgi better.

“You’ve been…distant the whole weekend. I could barely reach you.” Seulgi’s voice sounded small and I gulped, feeling bad for making her worry about me, “You know…the last time you pulled away and disappeared, it was bad.”

“I promise you I am doing completely fine, Seulgi, you’d be the first person to know if I was in a bad headspace again, alright?” I reached out and grabbed her hand, squeezing it reassuringly. Seulgi sighed and then raised her head to look at me, lips pulled into a thin line.

“Promise?”

“Of course, I promise.” I smiled at her warmly and she hummed in contentment, squeezing my hand back as she took a sip of her coffee. I followed suit before removing my hand from hers to fiddle with my half empty cup, “I’m just dealing with some things right now. I think I’m confused.”

“About what?” Seulgi asked curiously, leaning closer as I continued to avoid eye contact with her.

“I’ll tell you once I have my thoughts sorted about it.” I chuckled, making Seulgi roll her eyes in displeasure.

“You know, I tell you absolutely everything about myself and how I fell, and you always shut me out and tell me how you felt about a situation when it’s been over for years.” Seulgi pouted, narrowing her eyes at me, “How’s that fair, Y/N?”

“Hey, we work differently, don’t try to guilt trip me now.” I chuckled and took a sip of my coffee, making Seulgi roll her eyes, “Anyways, what did you do on your date with Wooyoung?”

“We went to the cinema,” Seulgi’s face lit up once again, grinning from ear to ear, “He bought me roses, a big bouquet. And after the movie we went for a walk and ended up stargazing in his cabriolet. It was really romantic.”

I smiled, feeling happy for my friend, she deserved someone like Wooyoung, “That actually sounds really amazing…and romantic.”

“Oh, my God, are you really Y/N? Where is my friend that hates anything that has to do with romance, cute stuff, and love?!” Seulgi’s shocked face was mocking and I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms in front of my chest as I leaned back against the back of the bench.

“I don’t hate it, I’m just not a huge fan of all of those things, okay?!” I shrugged, letting my arms fall from my chest as I pushed them inside my coat’s pockets.

“Who’s the culprit?” When I raised my eyebrows at Seulgi, a sign that I didn’t understand her question, she chuckled and leaned closer, “Who’s the man that’s changing your views on life, huh?”

“Man?” I asked with a scoff, giving Seulgi a deadpanned expression, “Does it always have to be about a man? Can’t it be just the fact that I had a change of mind?”

“Sure, because of someone.” Seulgi had a smug look on her face, acting as if she won the argument. But there was no argument here and she had no idea what she was talking about.

“Whatever—” But I got cut off as her phone dinged loudly. Seulgi, very comically, scrambled to reach for her phone and as she opened it up, a wide grin stretched onto her lips. It didn’t take two braincells to realize who had texted her, and thus, I chuckled and turned my head. I sipped my coffee, taking in my environment while Seulgi answered her boyfriend, giggling quietly every now and then.

The campus was finally silent and not as busy as it usually was in the early morning hours. The cold weather also helped in keeping the garden a little quieter as most people preferred to stay inside the warm corridors and classrooms. But the chilly air was good, it soothed my nerves and erased thoughts that weren’t productive. Similar to that, were the emotions that I didn’t want to deal with again, like the guilt that’s never left me ever since Mingi walked out of my house wearing Yunho’s old clothes. It felt wrong letting him take them without knowing the truth about them, but I didn’t feel ready to tell him yet about the truth. I was scared, surprisingly, of what he’d think of me once he found out about Yunho and I. I was scared that—he’d walk away, like Yunho had once done. And that was a very frightening thought. But when had I become so attached to Mingi? When has Mingi managed to infiltrate himself so thoroughly in my life, that the thought of completely losing him became scary? And why was I taking the past few days so badly? It’s not like we were as close as Seulgi and I, or him and Seonghwa and Wooyoung, yet, ignoring him felt like the wrong move to do. However, the reasoning I always circled back to was the fact that I needed space. I had to clear my mind, to find the purpose of this whole friendship that’s been blooming between us, and to make sense of everything. I had to figure out first why Yunho barely scraped my thoughts now, and why was it was Mingi who I found myself thinking of so often. In case you were wondering, no, I still haven’t found the reason, and it was becoming frustrating quite quickly. That near kiss was a—mistake. Yet, it could have been so much worse—it could have been a real kiss. And a real kiss would have ruined everything. I didn’t want to open up to anyone just yet, not when the memories of Yunho still haunted me in my dreams and drawings. Drawings that now more often than not consisted of Song Mingi.

And to my horror, the flipping of paper sheets is what alerted me back to my surroundings as I had been lost in my thoughts, oblivious to Seulgi putting her phone down and grabbing my sketchbook that lay between the two of us on the bench. As I turned my head, my eyes widened as Seulgi’s expression held surprise but amusement as well. She chuckled as she looked up, making eye contact with me. I lunged forward in an instant, trying to take my sketchbook out of her hands, but she leaned back and away, putting it behind herself.

“Bitch, I’m not the only one who’s down bad for a man.” She said with a laugh, making me groan as I gave up trying to snatch my sketchbook back from her.

“I’m not down bad for a man, Seulgi, stop this non-sense.” I hissed, cheeks burning in embarrassment as she kept flipping through my drawings.

“Please,” She scoffed, turning my sketchbook around and making me grimace as I came face to face with an exact replica of Mingi, sitting in his chair, at his studio that one time he invited me inside, “Who the fuck draws so many drawings of one single person if they aren’t in love with them—”

“I’m not in love with Mingi, stop it!” I exclaimed, heart beating fast as Seulgi raised her eyebrows at me, looking unimpressed, “Don’t ever again say that, Seulgi.”

“Okay, calm down, whatever. You’re not in love with Mingi.” She chuckled, closing my sketchbook but she didn’t hand it back yet, “But let’s face it, Y/N, you have a thing for Mingi. It’s super freaking obvious even without the drawings.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” I hissed and finally snatched the sketchbook out of her hands, clutching it to my chest. I knew bringing this along today would turn out to be a mistake, and here I was, facing the repercussions of my actions.

“There’s this glint in your eyes whenever you look at him—”

“Yeah, it’s called dislike.” I scoffed, rolling my eyes.

“And I see how you struggle to refrain yourself from smiling when you’re around him—”

“Bitch, be for real, Mingi and I aren’t even often together around you for you to notice that.” I scoffed, completely appealed by whatever absurd claims my best friend was making.

“So you’re not denying it—would it really be so bad if you liked Mingi?” But Seulgi ignored all my interruption as she raised her eyebrows at me, smiling softly, “He’s a nice guy. Very well-mannered and with a big, and good heart. Wooyoung loves him a lot and is always worrying about him. He says Mingi hasn’t been the same ever since his best friend moved away for college—”

“Mingi is Yunho’s best friend!” I blurted out before I could stop myself, finally feeling like a stone was taken off my chest as I bit my lower lip, averting my eyes from Seulgi’s shocked expression, “Mingi is the best friend Yunho had always talked so much about while we were together. I—do you understand why it would be so bad if I ended up liking Mingi?”

“Y/N,” Seulgi whispered, eyebrows furrowed, “for how long have you know?”

“Long enough.” I muttered before clearing my throat, “So please understand that I’m not ready for whatever the hell me drawing all those sketches of Mingi could mean. A month ago I was close to bursting out crying even at the thought of Yunho, and now I fail to remember his existence on my best days.”

When I dared take a peek at Seulgi, she was smiling softly, almost proudly, “Fine, I’ll pester you about this later on, when you’ve figured things out, but until then—you can’t deny Mingi isn’t hot—”

“Can we stop talking about Min—”

“Hi, girls!” I jumped in fright at the overly excited and shrill greeting as both Seulgi and I turned our heads to be met with…Wooyoung and Mingi. Speak of the devil. Suddenly, there was a lump in my throat, and my heart started beating just a little bit faster as my eyes fell on Mingi’s tall form. It didn’t help that underneath his coat he was wearing Yunho’s sweater—the one I had given him.

“Hi.” Seulgi giggled as Wooyoung leaned down to press a kiss against her cheek, the two looking sickly in love. It was actually endearing, but I’d never admit it out loud for my own sake as I knew I’d get teased about it by Seulgi. I averted my eyes from Wooyoung and Seulgi as they were muttering things to each other, and so, had no choice but to look up at Mingi, who looked—expressionless. Something in my stomach dropped at his cold demeanor, and it was worse that I wanted to assume it was my fault that he looked like that. But just as I was about to look away, he cracked the tiniest smile ever, and I exhaled, licking my lips.

“Hi.” My voice was small as I gulped, eyes trans-fixated on the tall man as his smile became just a little wider. I don’t think I had the power to ignore him anymore, not when he was standing right in front of me, looking like he wished to be anywhere but here.

“Hi, Y/N.” Having not heard his voice in days, it sounded even deeper and raspier than usually, making butterflies erupt in my stomach as my grip tightened around my sketchbook. I felt a little awkward, perhaps even tense, as Mingi didn’t say anything else, just continued gazing down at me with his sharp dark brown eyes boring into my own. I had so many things that I could’ve said to him, but I felt tongue tied. I didn’t know what would be the right way to approach him after I ignored him for so many days. Would he understand? Is he mad at me now? Does he hate me now? Will he forgive me—

“Okay,” Wooyoung chuckled, syllable drawn out and sounding amused, “I feel like I’m interrupting something here, yet they are basically just staring at each other.”

“You’re right.” Seulgi giggled, and I finally looked away from Mingi, throwing a glare at my best friend as she had leaned into Wooyoung’s side, who stood next to the bench and her.

“Shush, you two.” Mingi beat me to telling the two love-birds off, and I couldn’t help but smile, “Don’t poke your nose where it doesn’t belong to.”

“Look who’s lecturing me about poking my nose where it doesn’t belong to—”

“Wooyoung.” Mingi’s tone held a warning, and it made Wooyoung giggle as he leaned down and pressed a fat kiss against Seulgi’s cheek—again—making her push him away playfully.

“We’re headed to class, are you coming over later?” Wooyoung smiled down at his girlfriend, playing with a strand of her hair.

“Maybe, if I get to finish my project.” Seulgi said with a pout and Wooyoung hummed, leaning down to press a kiss against her lips this time around. I averted my eyes, not a fan of seeing couples kiss, only to catch Mingi already looking at me. He was expressionless once again, but he was fidgeting with his fingers, looking almost nervous. And as Wooyoung stood up straight and ruffled Seulgi’s hair affectionately, Mingi took a deep breath.

“Will you come to Outlaw this Friday?” He asked in a rush, sounding almost reluctant as his eyebrows furrowed slightly and he chewed on his lower lip. To my horror, I found my eyes fixated on his plush mouth and I gulped before I quickly averted my eyes, praying that nobody caught it.

“Yes.” I answered before Seulgi could, and nodded, smiling a little bit, “I won’t miss it.”

A beautiful smile spread on Mingi’s lips and he nodded once, looking too happy for something so little. I don’t think I’ll understand anytime soon why he gets so excited and happy when I listen to his songs or watch him perform. I’m no expert when it comes to music, my feedback is merely amateur and I’m not even a fan of his band yet.

“Cool, see you then.” And Mingi didn’t wait for Wooyoung as he turned around and walked away, steps hurried. I didn’t miss the confused glance Wooyoung and Seulgi shared before Wooyoung was off, chasing after his best friend. And maybe I would be soon able to make sense of my thoughts and feelings around Mingi, figure out what they meant and why they felt so real at times.

            Monday (16:58 pm)

I hate him: hi Me: hi I hate him: would it be a lot if i asked to meet u tomorrow? Me: no, im free in the afternoon I hate him: cool, me too so uh…we can hang out in my studio? Me: or we can go to that new café with pottery I hate him: really? Me: u did say u wanted us to go… I hate him: i certainly said so i’ll pick u up around 4 Me: u don’t have to i’ll meet you there I hate him: come on, y/n…let me drive u Me: u’ve driven me around too many times by now i’ll meet u there and that’s final. I hate him: okay, boss, see ya there Me: :))

            Getting here before four o’clock and having to wait in front of the cute café had no business being this nerve-wrecking. Yeah, Mingi hasn’t shown up yet—but perhaps that’s because there were still ten minutes until it’d be four—and I knew I had no reason to think he’d bail on me, but we hadn’t spoken since yesterday, when he had asked me if we could hang out. And so, waiting for him shouldn’t have had me breaking out in a sweat despite the cold weather, making me bite my lower lip harshly as I tried to smooth down the wool, green, brown, and beige patterned coat I was wearing. First of all, why the hell would I be so nervous about meeting up with Mingi alone at this cute café? He probably wanted to talk about that near kiss, and once we had that cleared, things would go back to normal—right?!

And maybe that was the reason which made me want to vomit on the sidewalk, the thought that I knew Mingi would demand answers—answers that I wasn’t yet ready to hand out. Why did I even agree to this? Because I missed him? I should have just stayed at home and done the project I’ve been procrastinating on—again. But when I heard the rumble of Mingi’s old Honda’s engine, I knew there was no turning back, catching the bus and running home to hide underneath my blanket.

As Mingi took his time to parallel park, I took a deep breath and gripped onto the strap of my tote bag harder, looking down at myself. My apricot orange sneakers matched the color of my blouse, the top two buttons out of five undone, but not showing too much skin. My blouse was tucked inside my washed out high waisted mom jeans, the black belt matching the color of my tote bag—I know black isn’t a color, I’m an arts major after all. My hair was pulled in a low ponytail just to prevent the wind from blowing it in my face, and I was thankful that I chose my wool coat as it kept me warm enough. I have opted to wear quite a few rings today, and because my neck felt too exposed, I decorated it with three necklaces of different length. I gulped hard one last time as Mingi got out of his car and took a few seconds until he managed to lock it. However, those few seconds were exactly what I needed to prepare myself to not pass out at the full sight of him.

Mingi, in true fashion to him, wore all black, except for his jeans that were a very dark shade of blue, almost black too. His turtleneck was tucked inside his jeans, a black coat with a hood keeping him warm from the cold late autumn weather. It almost made me smile upon seeing his own tote bag, black, and funnily matching mine. Except that his was plain, while mine had Claude Monet’s Water-Lily Pond painting painted on it, done by none other than yours truly, me. Mingi’s eyes were concealed by black sunglasses, and I snorted as he almost splashed himself up by stepping a little too enthusiastically into a big puddle. Two necklaces hung around his neck, reaching down his chest. A very obvious and sturdy silver cross necklace, and another longer chain that had pearls scarcely strung on it.  And in true Song Mingi fashion, his rings weren’t missing, only two of his nails painted black on each hand, almost as if he didn’t have time to finish doing them. My heart racing in my chest so fast just at the mere sight of him, certainly wasn’t healthy, right?

“Hi!” I squeaked out and wished to burry myself instantly as Mingi chuckled, a very charming smile spreading onto his lips. It was a little annoying that I couldn’t see his eyes, forced to stare at his plush lips instead—let’s be real, nobody forced me, I did it because I couldn’t help myself, “The sun is quite blinding today, isn’t it?”

And of course, in good old fashion, my mouth worked before my brain would agree to saying something out loud, and my cheeks were burning as I knew Mingi saw me look at his lips. I had to divert the attention somehow, and teasing him was my best method, actually. It always worked.  

“I’m trying to make a fashion statement,” Mingi grinned as he gripped the sunglasses and took them off in a very unnaturally hot way, “but hello to you too.”

“No need for a fashion statement when it’s just the two of us,” I narrowed my eyes, finding Mingi’s hair very soft and fluffy looking, almost as if he had recently washed it, and it wasn’t completely dry, “I’m not one of your fans.”

“Pity,” Mingi hummed, stepping slightly closer to me, “I thought I might just finally wove you.”

I scoffed, and as I was about to tell him off, he grabbed my tote bag and pulled me after himself, headed for the entrance of the café, “Did you have to wait long for me? Traffic was busier today, I had to take a few detours to get here in time.”

“Don’t worry,” I smiled as he opened the door for me and let me walk inside first, “I only waited half an hour for you to arrive, runway princess.”

“Runway princess?!” Mingi’s eyes bulged for a second before he started laughing loudly, making a few customers glance our way as we made it inside the café. I elbowed him in the stomach gently, not too keen of having people glare at us as he disturbed their peace.

“Don’t like the nickname?” I asked with a raised brow as we neared the front desk. The cashier had a friendly smile on her face while she greeted us as Mingi and I looked up at the menu, trying to decide what we’d like to have.

“Never said that,” Mingi answered with a chuckle as he threw me a quick glance, “it’s just surprising coming from you.”

“Why, can’t I call you a princess?” I chuckled, turning to face the cashier as I have made up my mind about what I’d like to have.

“Up until now you seemed to prefer the term ‘bro’, but I’m fine with whatever you decide on calling me, doll.” The look the cashier gave us made my cheeks flame up and I cleared my throat loudly, shooting Mingi a look that told him to shut up.

“Sorry about that,” I muttered embarrassed, smiling at the cashier, “can I get a strawberry cheesecake?”

“Sure, right away, and you, sir?” Her attention was on Mingi now, cheeks flushing the longer she looked at him. Okay, I could totally understand why. Mingi looked quite good right now, it was hard not to ogle him.

“A mint-chocolate cheesecake and a cappuccino?” Mingi hummed, eyebrows furrowed in thought as he looked down at the cashier.

“Plain cappuccino or with vanilla?” The cashier typed in our orders as she asked Mingi, averting her eyes shyly once he looked at her, pursing his lips.

“Plain,” He decided at last, turning to look at me, “are you not getting anything to drink?”

“An orange fresh will be alright.” I said as I reached inside my bag to fish around for my wallet.

“And would you also like to paint some pottery?” The cashier asked, pointing behind herself at all the displayed options. Mingi and I shared a look and I smiled as I nodded at him, making him grin from ear to ear.

“Yeah, we’ll paint some pottery too. Can I have a cup?” He asked, pointing at one on the higher shelf. It was a smaller cup, specifically made for drinking coffee. The cashier nodded and then looked at me expectantly.

“Uh, a mug will do for me.” I said and thanked her once she handed us the pottery and the paint that was used for painting these. Then, she tapped a few more on her tablet and told us the total. I opened my wallet to pay for my purchase, but Mingi had a card in his hands, the cashier already typing in the total sum for him to pay.

“Mingi,” I hissed quietly, looking at him with a frown, “what are you doing?”

“It was my idea to come here—”

“No, it wasn’t.” I cut him off, fingers curling into the scratchy fabric of his coat as I reached out to hold it, “I suggested we come here instead of going to your studio.”

Mingi sighed and pocketed his card, already having paid, then turned his body to face mine. I didn’t let go of his coat just yet, “Yeah, but when I drove you home during that downpour I asked you if you’d come here with me. So technically, it was my idea. Initially, anyways, it really was.”

“Mingi—” I started, but soon swallowed my words as he stepped closer, invading my personal space. My fingers tightened more into his coat and I gulped, suddenly feeling nervous due to our proximity. He faintly smelled of vanilla, it was a fragrance I didn’t except to smell on him.

“Can you not fight me on this one, please?” Mingi’s eyebrows slightly furrowed and his eyes softened up and I—struggled to breathe for a second as I stared up in his pleading eyes, mouth going dry. He looked—adorable like this, and I did not like the way I felt myself getting lost in his soft gaze.

“Let’s find a table.” I muttered, forcing myself out of the trance he placed on me, and grabbed my mug and the painting supplies. Mingi followed suit as he took his own cup and followed after me closely. We walked further inside the café and found a smaller table in the next room, closer towards the window. The walls were painted a faint orange and were decorated by white stripes that created abstract shapes. The chandeliers were white and hung low, the place well-lit for those who wished to paint pottery.

I placed the things in my hands on the table carefully, and then discarded my coat on the back of my chair and my tote bag by the leg of the table, pulling my chair out for myself. Mingi followed suit, however, he managed to almost send his cup tumbling to the floor when he took his seat. His eyes were wide as he just barely caught the cup, and I giggled as I watched him while opening the box that held all the paint. Thankfully, the table was spacious enough to harbor both our pottery and paints as the cashier brought out our delicacies. She threw Mingi a lasting look before she hurried back to the front desk, glancing our way at times.

“This is going to be a tough one.” Mingi said before scooping up a bit of his cheesecake with his little spoon.

“Why?” I asked with a chuckle, choosing a thin brush to start painting some flowers on my mug. My cheesecake could wait.

“Because I’m literally sat at a table with an arts major, having to decorate some cup by painting.” Mingi sounded stressed and I chuckled as I looked up at him, amused by his expression. His hair fell in his eyes a bit, and I found myself absentmindedly reaching over the table to brush it to the side. Almost as if realizing at the same time what I had done, we both froze. It felt like time stilled around us as I watched Mingi with a gaping mouth, slowly but surely, my cheeks becoming the color of a fire hydrant. But Mingi wasn’t better off as he bit his bottom lip, averting his eyes shyly as his cheeks turned the faint color of pink. Clearing my throat and accidentally choking as I hastily pulled my hand back, I averted my eyes and fought for my life to not choke. Thank God the orange juice was right there, I quickly took three large gulps.

“Th—thanks.” Mingi stuttered, staring at the table as he licked his lips, “Uh, it’s gotten long, my hair, I mean, I have to cut it when I get the time.”

“Yeah.” I nodded, grabbing my mug and chewing on my bottom lip in embarrassment—God, could the Earth swallow me up right now? Why the hell did I do that?! “Yeah.”

“Do you think I should change it up a little?” I paused as I had dipped my brush in red paint, and slowly looked up at Mingi, “Do something fun with it—like going blonde?”

“I hate blonde hair.” I blurted out before I could stop myself. Nice one, idiot. Yunho was blonde while we were together, and thus, yeah, I’ve hated blondes ever since. And to be fair—and this is not me shitting on my ex—but that hair color did not suit Yunho at all.

“Oh, noted.” Mingi whispered, pouting a little. I sighed and looked up at the ceiling, hating myself for the weird atmosphere I have created.

“Mingi, you can do whatever you want with your hair.” I spoke up, leaning down to try and look him in the eyes as he was busy staring at the table, “My opinion shouldn’t matter. It’s your hair. Go crazy with it, have fun, try out something new. Really.”

“But do you think it would suit me?” Mingi was still pouting as he finally looked up at me, looking quite crestfallen. My eyebrows furrowed and I tried to imagine him with blonde hair. He was quite blessed with his skin complex as most colors looked good on him, but perhaps I preferred Mingi with dark hair—black hair, more specifically. Like he had it right now. He looked—good. Handsome, even. Completely gorgeous. Fuck.

“I think it would suit you.” I settled on saying that. He didn’t have to know my train of thought, like at all. Mingi hummed in appreciation, and I watched as he reached inside his tote bag, pulling out a case that held his glasses. He took it out of the case and put it on, pushing it up on the bridge of his nose. He grinned when he looked at me and I chuckled, shaking my head as I looked down at my mug, finally starting to decorate it.

“There goes the cool, mysterious, hot celebrity act.” I teased under my breath, not expecting Mingi to hear me. But he did, and he started laughing, giving me a cheeky grin.

“Not quite a celebrity yet, but at least you admit I am hot.” Of course he was smirking as I gave him a deadpanned look, about to argue him on his statement, but he didn’t let me as he continued talking, “By the way, let’s exchange our cups when we are done. The mug will be mine and the cup will be yours.”

I tried to fight the smile off my lips, “So that you get the artwork of a talented artist for free to sell for an outrageous price later on when I’m famous?”

“I fear you have misjudged my character, doll.” Mingi’s eyes narrowed playfully, but there was truth to his words. I might just have misjudged his character.

“I still think you’re arrogant and selfish.”

“Of course you do, didn’t except anything less from you.” Mingi winked and then looked down, his cheesecake forgotten as he started decorating his cup, tongue just barely sticking out as he concentrated hard on whatever he had in mind to paint onto the cup. I chuckled and shook my head before focusing on my own mug, the silence that’s settle around us comfortable, as always.

            Mingi and I were the quietest table in the café as we worked in silence diligently in, painting our own pottery. Mingi, at times, would hum along quietly to the songs that were played on the radio. Despite his cup being smaller and easier to paint, I finished painting mine before him, and so, I took the time to savor my cheesecake even if it had gotten warm and a little too soft. Mingi was hunched over in his seat, glasses low on the bridge of his long nose, with his full lips either pursed or with the bottom one bitten as his eyebrows would furrow every time he almost made a mistake. It was a funny sight, and I grabbed my phone without thinking much, and snapped a few pictures of him, leaning lower and even closer to his face to get the funny angles, all while Mingi remained oblivious to it. I chuckled as I looked at the pictures I had taken of him, looking at him when I felt eyes on me.

“What’s so funny?” He asked curiously, eyeing my phone for a second.

“You.” I chuckled and stuck my tongue out as Mingi rolled his eyes, leaning back in his chair as he heaved a long sigh.

“I’m finally done.” He grinned and I looked down at his cup, taking in the yellow chicks he had painted quite—clumsily. Well, not all of us had the skills of a painter—not that it was an issue or anything—it’s just that it’s been long since I had seen someone have the skills of a—kindergartner, “It’s pretty sick, huh?”

I bit my lower lip to stop myself from giggling and nodded with my eyebrows furrowed, “I’d give it a seventy out of a hundred mark.”

“Hey! That’s too low!” Mingi said, looking offended. I chuckled before shrugging.

“You’ll have to work on your skills for a higher mark.”

“Fine, next time you come to the studio, I’ll make you sing.” Mingi raised his eyebrows, making me narrow my eyes at him playfully.

“Oh, I didn’t know we are in a competition.”

“We weren’t, until now.” He winked and then stood, grabbing my mug and his own cup carefully as he took it to the front desk for drying. I gathered the items we had used to paint the pottery with to place them back in the box, and couldn’t help it but sneak a glance at Mingi. He was leaned up against the front counter, grinning widely at the cashier as she spoke to him, using her hands for big gestures as she was probably explaining something. My eyes narrowed as Mingi leaned slightly closer to her, only to detach himself from the front desk and walk back towards our table. I looked away and busied myself with my glass of orange juice.

“So, we’ll get them delivered to our houses once they are dry and all.” He said with a smile, sitting down, “I hope you don’t mind I gave her your address too.”

“I don’t.” I muttered, chewing on the straw for a second, “I didn’t think you’d know my address.”

“Well,” Mingi flattened his hands on the surface of the table, “I’ve been to your house twice now. I think it’s only right I remember your address, doll.”

“Right,” I muttered, “you’ve been to my house.”

Mingi’s eyebrows furrowed, and I figured he didn’t like the tone of my voice. But before I could correct myself and explain that I had nothing against that, he spoke up, “Y/N, I—I didn’t mean to scare you or—I don’t know—make you think that I want anything from you. I mean—we are friends, and I respect you as a woman and as a friend, and I know we almost—kissed. But I—I don’t want you to think that I’m playing some sort of game with you to get—to get in your pants. I’m your friend. And even if I wasn’t, I still wouldn’t do that to you.”

Hearing him say all that felt wrong. I didn’t deserve any explanation from him. I was the one that’s overreacted that day, and Mingi was the one that deserved an explanation and apology from me for the way I have acted. I knew I couldn’t completely open up to him right now, that some parts of the truth had to be omitted today, but he also deserved to know why I had pulled back. And I wanted him to understand that it wasn’t his fault for the way I reacted to everything.

“Mingi,” I offered him a small smile and gripped my empty glass for some support, “If you think you are the reason why I ignored you, please, stop thinking that. It’s—we both leaned in, okay? We were both about to kiss each other, it’s not like you initiated it or forced me to do something I didn’t want to. And nothing even happened, for God’s sake. I reacted that way because I—”

When I paused, Mingi’s eyebrows furrowed, and he leaned over the table, gently poking my hand with his ring clad fore-finger, “You don’t have to tell me anything if you’re not comfortable sharing it, Y/N.”

“But I want you to know this, Mingi.” I averted my eyes and took a deep breath, embracing myself for what I was about to tell him, “I had a boyfriend back in high-school who completely broke my heart, shattered it into pieces. And I know that happened a long time ago, and yes, I am over him, but I—I am scared people will treat me like he had treated me. I’m scared that if I let you close, you’ll just—leave. Like he did. And I know ignoring you for days was very shitty of me and I shouldn’t have done that—because quite frankly, Mingi, you deserve better—I just didn’t know what to do. I needed a few days to myself, to figure things out. It’s a bad excuse, but it’s the truth, and I think you deserve to know it. Since we are friends.”

Mingi’s face conveyed no emotion for a few seconds and I gulped, feeling nervous all of a sudden. Did he figure it out now? That I was talking about Yunho? That maybe I have started feeling something for him too, for Mingi? Would he stand up and leave? But to my surprise, a wide smile stretched onto his lips and he hummed, adjusting his glasses on his nose.

“Thank you for trusting me, it means a lot that you told me all that.” I bit my bottom lip, looking down at the table abashedly, “And I was never mad at you for ignoring me. I completely understand you, Y/N, and for the record, I have zero intentions of leaving you. And your ex is a fucking asshole for breaking your heart like that, tell me who he is and I’ll beat him up when I cross paths with him.”

There was nothing funny about what Mingi had said, especially since he was talking about his best friend, but the comically tough look on his face made me snort loudly as I shielded my mouth with my hand, trying to stop myself from laughing too loudly. Mingi started grinning like an idiot, his giggles deep, and making something coil in my stomach. When has Song Mingi become adorable instead of annoying?

“I doubt you’d want to kick his ass once you find out who he is…” I grimaced once that was out of my mouth, regretting it instantly. What was it about today that I couldn’t keep my thoughts and mouth in check? It was turning really frustrating.

“So, you plan on telling me one day?” Mingi wriggled his eyebrows, making me snort, “Like real besties gossiping and shit.”

“You never fail to make me cringe when you call us besties, Mingi.” I shook my head, taking a glance at my wrist watch. Oh, the time had flown away, it was well past five now, and the sun was going down. I’d probably have to head home soon to have dinner with my mother. I was becoming hungry too.

“Well, that’s what we are so…” He cleared his throat before slowly standing up, making me look up at him, “Did you know today we’re celebrating the Festival of Light?”

“Nope, I had no idea.” I shook my head, standing up too as Mingi wore his coat, “I don’t follow the events our city organizes.”

“Pity, it’s really pretty.” Mingi pouted, waiting for me as I grabbed my tote bag and pocketed my phone, “Should we check it out?”

“I mean…maybe?” I shrugged and Mingi beckoned me over as he crossed his arm with mine, making me chuckle as I looked up at him. He wasn’t much taller than me, but his sneakers had a thick sole and they made him even taller, “Where is this festival held at?”

“Just down the street, at the Citadel.” Mingi smiled as he led the way out of the café, waving at the barista as she blushed again, making me chuckle as I subconsciously nuzzled up against Mingi’s side, the air chilly as the sun had set by now.

“That barista totally has a crush on you.” I found myself saying as we walked down the sidewalk, trying to avoid crashing into the people that came towards us. Yeah, there certainly was an event on-going in the city, otherwise you wouldn’t see so many people out and about around this time. Everyone preferred staying inside after the sun had set, not keen of the cold nights.

“You think so?” Mingi mused, bottom lip jutting out as he narrowly avoided a child that was running around, “I didn’t notice.”

“You must be really dense then.” I snorted, eyebrows furrowing as I looked up at him, “She was constantly blushing, and she was totally looking at you with hearts in her eyes.”

“How do you know when someone is looking at you with heart eyes?” Mingi’s question threw me off, and I detached myself from his side, clearing my throat as I looked ahead, pushing my hands in my pockets. He was warm, it made me realize as the cold bit at my skin now that I wasn’t nuzzled up by his side anymore.

“Well, they have this look in their eyes, you know? It’s warm, and soft, and it lasts.” I explained, feelings my cheeks heat up, “And their eyes always linger on you when you aren’t watching them. It’s like…puppy eyes, I suppose? I wouldn’t actually know, Mingi, nobody’s ever looked at me like that.”

When there was no response, I looked back to find Mingi looking at me intensely. My eyebrows furrowed as we have arrived to the Citadel, the gates open for the visitors of the festival. The place was packed, this wouldn’t be so fun anymore. I would’ve turned around and walked back home if I didn’t see how excited Mingi was when I agreed to come check it out.

“There’s lots of people here.” Mingi muttered, and then walked closer to me as I led the way inside, a little baffled by his reaction to my answer. I just merely gave an answer based on my beliefs. It was him that was acting weird now. But as I looked at him, I could see it in his eyes that he didn’t want to talk about this topic anymore, that he wanted us to drop the subject. His last comment was a way to veer the conversation in a different direction. What was it about us today making everything weird? I sighed and just walked further inside, trying to avoid the big crowd which seemed almost impossible as it stretched on and on. The Citadel, however, was beautiful as it was coated in darkness, only the little paper lamps and fairy lights illuminating the place. It had a certain aura to it, almost romantic, and I soon found myself smiling as we walked down the cobblestone path, still trying to avoid people and stick close to each other’s sides. The air was chilly but the walls of the Citadel did a great job at keeping the breeze out, and the crowd certainly kept the place warmer than it was outside the stone walls.

I found myself admiring the décor in wonder, my mouth hanging open as I took in all the little lamps placed down on the ground, following the cobblestone paths, illuminating our way. It was truly beautiful, it almost felt like the scene was taken out of a fairytale. I found myself filled with excitement and happiness as I turned to grin at Mingi.

“This is so beautiful!” I giggled, absentmindedly grabbing the sleeve of his coat and dragging him away from the path and into the dying grass as there was a panel covered with paper, and people were writing on it. Mingi remained silent, but as I searched around for a pen or pencil, I felt him watching me, “What, do you not want to write something?”

“If you manage to find a marker or pen, I will, sure.” He said with a shrug, adjusting the strap of his tote bag before he pushed his hands deep in his pockets. I chuckled and looked around for a marker, but it was hard to see it in the darkness whether they were laying around in the grass or not. To my surprise, a little girl standing next to me looked up at me with a small smile on her lips, and offered me her purple-coloured marker, saying she was done with her drawing. I thanked her with a chuckle and turned to face Mingi with a grin.

“I found one!” Mingi chuckled and took the marker from my hands, being able to reach high up where the paper was still empty, due to his height. The panel was illuminated from the inside so you could actually see what was written on the paper. I watched him as he wrote on the paper, hesitating for a second, before he stepped back and handed me the marker. I raised up on my tip toes curiously, and craned my neck to see what he’s written. ‘The moon is beautiful tonight.’

I felt a smile spread onto my lips as I looked back at Mingi, who’s expression was serious and almost sad-looking as he adjusted his glasses on the bridge of his tall nose. I craned my neck back once more to gaze at the dark sky, at the moon, and indeed, there she was, beautiful and shining brightly. It was a new moon. Taking a swift glance at Mingi, I raised back on my tip toes and stood close to the panel, reaching up, just underneath Mingi’s writing. Thankfully, I could reach just bellow it, and I grinned as I quickly drew a new moon, adding a little shading to it and dents as well, creating the illusion of a real moon. Mingi remained silent as I took a step back, admiring our work. I handed the marker to another child as I fished my phone out of my pocket and snapped a picture quickly of our artwork.

“The moon turned out beautifully.” Mingi commented once we had stepped away from the panel to let others draw too, headed back onto the cobblestone path.

“Still, it’s not as beautiful as the real one, but I tried my best.” I chuckled as I crossed my arms in front of my chest for a second, avoiding a man as he wasn’t looking in front of himself as he raced down the path. Mingi threw him a displeased look before looking down at me.

“Your drawings and paintings are always beautiful, Y/N.” Mingi said and I found myself blushing, thankful that it was so dark he wouldn’t be able to see it. I uncrossed my arms and turned my body a little to face him. There was music coming from one path, the one which led to the southern part of the Citadel.

“Are you nervous about Friday?” I found myself asking him as Mingi veered us towards where the music was coming from. He looked at me for a second, and then shook his head.

“I’m rarely nervous when we have to perform.” He said nonchalantly, the back of his hand brushing lightly against mine. My heart did a somersault against my ribcage, but I ignored it.

“Oh, you’re such a cool guy.” I teased him with narrowed eyes, making Mingi chuckle.

“I rarely get nervous, to be honest, even less when it comes to performing.” He hummed, looking up at the dark sky for a second, “I trust myself and my bandmates that everything will go well, so, there’s no actual reason to feel nervous.”

“But I’ll be there on Friday, that still doesn’t make you feel nervous?” My question was meant to be teasing, part of our playful banter, but the way Mingi gulped and quickly averted his eyes told me that perhaps I hit the nail spot-on. Well, now I have turned things awkward again. I sighed loudly, chewing on my bottom lip as Mingi remained silent, the two of us walking down the narrow path as the music became louder as we were nearing the stage. Jazz music was playing, the lady who was singing had a powerful and smooth voice that carried over the crowd neatly. There were a few people dancing in the crowd.

“Perhaps having you there will make me nervous.” Mingi’s voice was barely above a whisper and I tensed when I felt his pinkie brush against my own, making me clench my hand into a fist. But a very quiet voice inside my head demanded me to accept Mingi’s subtle request, and willing my heart to stop hammering so hard in my chest, I relaxed my hand and slowly slipped it into Mingi’s. If he stopped walking for a milli-second, I didn’t say anything about it, and he also ignored it. His grip turned firm as he intertwined our fingers together, gently pulling me closer into his side as he smiled at a mother who apologised for his son almost running into us.

I gulped and kept my eyes ahead of me, too nervous to look at Mingi. Holding his hand like this meant nothing in particular, but it was a nice feeling. It made my cheeks warms and heart race. And I didn’t have to look at Mingi to know he was smiling like crazy, his cheeks just as red as mine as we came to a stop behind the dancing people.

Have I started falling for Song Mingi?

『It's you, ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh

I'm just saying it's you, ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

You, ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh

You're what I've been chasing

Show me where my days went』

❱❱ Next chapter

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❀ complete the forms if you're interested! ^^

so...the festival of light scene was totally inspired by me and my bestie attending it in our city lol; it was sooo beautiful and the pictures in the moodboard were actually taken by us; also, her and I kept laughing about the romantic vibes we were getting, all in all, we had a nice time...and OFC we make everything about Ateez so :))

I wrote that LOL I'm like Mingi, tall enough to reach the top where people haven't scribbled onto yet lol

also, this is what y/n's outfit looks like for anyone wondering, except for the colors as they are the way I have described them in the scene ^^

[moth-p]

TPOT 13 RAMBLE

Huge spoilers obviously.

How we feeling BDFI fans?

Well, you're about to find out what I am feeling so lets get into this nonsensical ramble since y'all seemed to like the last one for some reason

1. ONEE??!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?

Okay so ANY chance that One isn't a villan is uh. Dead and buried. And honestly it should stay that way I really enjoyed her this episode! BFDI was lacking a true villan

I actually predicted their deal with Basketball in this episode a while ago soo yea (more about Basketball later, dont you worry)

What about Bell and Bomby (And now Needle and Barf Bag)? WHERE ARE THEY? Well, dear reader who probably does not care, I have a theory!

I think that they are in One's version of the EXIT

If my theory that the place TPOTs eliminated contestants is a "Two EXIT", is correct, it is likely that every algebralien has something like that.

Did One and Three interact like I hoped they would? No. Buut another thing that I really fucking liked in this episode is the confirmation of One's motives. And that, as you have seen is

Two's power. Why does she need it? We don't know. To free Three, to take over the world to do something else.. I honestly can't wait to find out

TLDR: I loved One in this episode bro

2. Yuri (cw basketbot if you dont like this ship scroll to point 3)

LET IT BE KNOWN TO THE PUBLIC THAT I WAS HARDCORE SHIPPING THEM SINCE I WATCHED TPOT 7 AND I HAVE BEEN FED. GOD.

BASKETBOT FOREVER BABYYY

"The best version of you is the one we have here" honest reaction

This ship should be way more popular

HAVE YOU SEEN THE WAY BASKETBALL LOOKS AT ROBOT FLOWER WHEN SHES HERSELF AGAIN.

Okay basketbot ramble over

TLDR: lesbians

3. Eliminations and the rejoin

So I got a few things right in my tpot 13 predictiom post (i think) but I have been completly wrong with who will be eliminated

Barf bag: I was kinda expecting it..? I mean I'm still VERY sad about her elimination DONT GET ME WRONG but I kind of knew that her time was coming. But

NEEDLE?!: GUYS. GUYS COME ON. I THINK THE ONLY THING MORE SHOCKING THAN HER ELIMINATION WAS FIREAFY ANGST IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2024. I actually thought that she would EASILY be in top 3 but I guess she wasnt. But the whole thing with pen was so good rahshsggdhshs im still not over it

The double rejoin was a welcome suprise, even though I know it will have a huge impact on the story later. I voted for pencil because I wanted to see her interact with the alliance (and she did yippie), but LIY joining is also very good, she was eliminated way too early imo

I voted for pin because. Shes pin. I love pin (and I also think that Tree and Black Hole will get enough votes to stay no problem wait apollo what are you doing no put the dodgeball dow-)

I also voted for snowball! He was great in the last few episodes and i hope it will stay like that

TLDR: Needle deserved better

4. Random shit (this will be long)

1. THE MENTION OF GELATINS STEAKHOUSE IS ENOUGH FOR NOW BUT PLEASE, WITH THE FIREAFY SIDEPLOT THING LET HIM APPEAR AGAIN JNJ PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I WILL BE SATISFIED WITH ONLY SEEING HIM IN THE BG AS LONG AS HE APPEARS PLEASE (you will not guess who my favorite character is)

2. Fireafy? In the year of our lord 2024? Am I repeating this joke? Maybe?

But seriously, their appearence was a huge suprise and seeing as Leafy (probably) got kidnapped by One, it will most likely turn out to be a sideplot (bonus points because the robot flower one ended)

3. Gatys paint falling off a bit. Idk why but that detail was so good rahdgsusghejs

4. Fanny and BH being friends is something I did not expect that much but its cool. (They are MLM WLW solidarity to me)

5. Im a bit dissapointed that Three didnt make an appearence in this episode but whatever. (They will appear in tpot 14 guys trust me)

6. Congrats to Pillow for actually doing something and not having your team be UFE again seriously I think it was like 3 times in a row

7. I know it was basically nothing. But seeing Price Tag and Book interact with each other makes me so happy you have no idea

8. I KNOW IT WAS BASICALLY NOTHING. BUT SEEING TB AND GB INTERACT WITH EACH OTHER MAKES ME SO HAPPY YOU HAVE NO IDEA

9. Two sleeping was kinda funny (this also implies that algebraliens need sleep)

10. Four and X going on vacation. Thats it

11. (II 16 SPOILERS!!!)

Someone (me) will draw Needle and Barf Bag getting deleted by mephone X

I think thats it if I will have the need to ramble about this episode more then it will be reblog time

[realcube]

YOU GOT: TŌRU OIKAWA

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ matchup for @s0dium

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ if you would like a matchup, read this!

'I day dream about taekwondo and in another life I swear I’d be an Olympic taekwondo champion!'

𓆩♡𓆪 ok these first few are kinda rapid fire but

𓆩♡𓆪 i think this sort of ambition , especially for a sport, would be soo attractive to oikawa

𓆩♡𓆪 like he might not know much about taekwondo but he would SO listen to you rant about how you could've bet x fighter in a match or how you could've won y tournament

𓆩♡𓆪 and everytime he is like 'yes >:( so true queen... they're lucky you didn't compete bc you'd send them ALL to the unemployment office expeditiously'

𓆩♡𓆪 you feed his vb dreams and he'll feed your taekwondo dreams 💞

𓆩♡𓆪 shared manifestation

𓆩♡𓆪 although he would so be sneaky and coniving about it by signing you up for competitions without you knowing

𓆩♡𓆪 you'd just be minding your own business and he'll come up you like 'hm why aren't you training?'

𓆩♡𓆪 'training for what?'

𓆩♡𓆪 'your taekwondo contest next week.'

𓆩♡𓆪 'WHAT taekwondo contest!?!?'

𓆩♡𓆪 'the one i signed you up for. you should probably start practising. i heard the competition is pretty fierce this year.' he sips his chai and walks away.

𓆩♡𓆪 then you jump him and use your taekwondo moves to beat his ass

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

'I’m a huge academic over achiever I always strive to be and do my best.'

𓆩♡𓆪 literally a match made for oikawa

𓆩♡𓆪 born over achiever , just in a different sense

𓆩♡𓆪 so much so he got a complex over a boya year or two younger than him catching up to him in talent , so he relates to the struggle

𓆩♡𓆪 i don't really remember anything ever being mentioned about how he performs academically buuuut

𓆩♡𓆪 considering how smart he is during matches, i'm sure that kinda intelligence is somewhat transferrable

𓆩♡𓆪 study dates???

𓆩♡𓆪 tbh he'd be the first to get distracted and start flirting with you

𓆩♡𓆪 meanwhile you're tryna grind

𓆩♡𓆪 though i do hc he kinda does well academically , and would be in at least some of your classes

𓆩♡𓆪 seems like a maths nerd ??

𓆩♡𓆪 one time y'all were doing hw together and thought he was being so intelligent by pointing out you didn't derive properly but then you're like??? nothing on this page is being derived?

𓆩♡𓆪 and he never commented on your work again

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

'Muscular tall men is where it’s at 😎'

𓆩♡𓆪 i had to think for a moment if oikawa fits into this category bc like he's defo tall ( 6 foot) but idk i remember him being a bit skinnier compared to the other characters

𓆩♡𓆪 but mans has a lil smth going onnnnn esp post time skip

𓆩♡𓆪 source one (ARRRMMS?) , source two (LEGGGSSS???????)

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

'Fun fact abt me is that I was in a blockbuster movie one time and that is how I pay a lot of my bills, I even got a IMDb page someone made that I can’t get taken down'

𓆩♡𓆪 he will never let you live that down btw

𓆩♡𓆪 oh and you can bet your ass that he's telling everyone he is dating a famous actress and will direct them to whatever movie you were in

𓆩♡𓆪 post-time skip oikawa will even be telling the press + talk shows

𓆩♡𓆪 and he maybe didn't make the imdb page but oikawa is 100000% using an alt account to re-make it all the time and add stuff to it so the imdb ppl never delete it

𓆩♡𓆪 he's a menace unfortunately

𓆩♡𓆪 and he is defo the type to pay for all dates

𓆩♡𓆪 (like don't even make eye-contact with your wallet because he's bark at you)

𓆩♡𓆪 ('just bring your lipgloss, phone and my phone too :P' he says, everytime y'all are about to leave the house.)

𓆩♡𓆪 BUT on the off chance you pay bc it's something small like ice-cream and you were too quick , he'll ALWAYS without a single doubt make a joke to whoever is taking the money along the lines of , 'don't worry , she's a famous actress. she can afford it.' AJFEURGFEIF

𓆩♡𓆪 literally everytime and sometimes the shopkeeper will ask for your autograph because of what he says, even if they don't recognise you lol

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

'ideal first date would be ice skating or a snowball fight!!'

𓆩♡𓆪 that is literally so cute and aesthetic oml

𓆩♡𓆪 so perfect for oikawa

𓆩♡𓆪 he probably doesn't know how to skate but i don't think it would take him much time to learn and find the ropes

𓆩♡𓆪 he won't be stumbling for long so while he is, please make the most of every moment and tease him as much as you physically can lmao

𓆩♡𓆪 if you are an expert though, like if you can do the tricks n stuff, he is going to be outwardly sooo sour about it but inwardly impressed

𓆩♡𓆪 he says 'omg stop showing off 🙄' but he thinks 'wow my gorgeous ice princess 😲🥰'

𓆩♡𓆪 will take videos of you skating and post them on social media with corny captions 😌

𓆩♡𓆪 another good thing is that oikawa is so down to take GOOD pictures and is always taking candids of you

𓆩♡𓆪 he is not the type to complain about you making him pose with you, he just makes sure to serve extra hard

𓆩♡𓆪 as for snowball fights, he is soo competitive with it but will secretly always let you win because he loves to see you happy and celebrating

𓆩♡𓆪 he plays dirty though and WILL put snow in your hood then put your hood over your head

𓆩♡𓆪 it's just in his nature unfortunately lmao

𓆩♡𓆪 also playfully mean to you sometimes

𓆩♡𓆪 you see he made a snow angel and you lay down next to it and start to make one adjacent to his so it looks like they are holding hands

𓆩♡𓆪 when he notices this he gasps in horror, "hey! don't put your snow demon beside my snow angel !!!"

𓆩♡𓆪 (but it's okay because you use your taekwondo moves to kick the head off his snowman)

𓆩♡𓆪 (his name was snowykawa... rip...)

𓆩♡𓆪 but also the sweetest bf ever (at times)

𓆩♡𓆪 tells you how beautiful you look with snowflakes in your hair

𓆩♡𓆪 makes you hot cocoa with the marshmallows arranged in a heart

𓆩♡𓆪 gives you his mittens if your hands get cold

𓆩♡𓆪 carries you back inside if your feet get cold

𓆩♡𓆪 overall just whipped for you and does a bad job at hiding it

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

for @s0dium: kinda thinking bokuto for you but i thought that might be too predictable. also the overachiever thing made me think oikawa sooo.

[midnight-omega]

omg i saw your repressed omega headcanons do you have any for repressed betas (trying not to froth at the mouth)

Heyy yo I was not ignoring u anon but tbh ! I haven’t thought about betas in my verse all that much so I needed to take some time to actually think about them so thanks for forcing me to do that snsksk /gen/lh

🌙 Soo I decided that in my verse betas can experience a soft heat or a soft rut depending on their bonds (who it’s with I mean) and environment. By soft I mean it’s not as intense as an alpha/omega and they don’t always have the anatomy to work with their instincts but that’s for a different post !

🌙 What I mean here is ! If a beta is used to heats and goes into a rut or vice versa it could create a bit of an identity crisis that leads to some mild repression

🌙 A sudden rut could cause a beta to suddenly really lean into more omega coded activities or feel a repulsion around alphas

🌙 Betas panic nesting ♥️

🌙 Meanwhile a sudden heat night make a beta start being overly aggressive and competitive to “make up for” the omega coded heat

🌙 Outside of rut/heats maybe the beta jsut isn’t happy being a beta

🌙 If ur verse has it so ur characters don’t know what they are until presentation…

🌙 A beta who so badly wanted to be something else only to be awfully disappointed when their body doesn’t react to presenting the way they hoped

🌙 They would probably use a fuck ton of artificial scent (maybe special perfumes with pheromones in it makes you smell like another dynamic)

🌙 Forcing their way into classes or careers dominated by their desired dynamic

🌙 Acting the part more, aggressive or submissive! Insisting they too have these instincts that are unique to one of the other dynamics. While it’s true betas share some instincts with a/o it’s not that many and it’s not as intense !

🌙 Ignoring their own instincts bc they don’t see them as important or useful

🌙 In my verse betas are swifter, silent stalkers, the chefs, the gardeners! Why? Bc they’re the providers of food! They hunt and gather as the omega rears and takes care of the home and the alpha marks territory and protects that home (traditionally/evolutionary speaking that is)

🌙 So a beta who’s not proud of being a beta might lock themselves inside a lot. They hate the outdoors 🙄 they don’t feel the urge to water flowers at all 🙄

🌙 They probably refuse to cook for themselves as well claiming they’re bad or awful

🌙 Or maybe they actually just don’t believe they’re not literal Gordon Ramsay level in the kitchen and beat themselves up about it massively

🌙 Going back to presenting if ur verse is one where they know since birth

🌙 Maybe the beta was born to a family or pack lacking in betas. The parents maybe don’t know how to nourish their instincts (outside is dangerous stay inside or they lean too much towards a betas more alpha coded instincts or smth like that since they have a mix of alpha and omega habits!)

🌙 Or maybe that family is just straight up haters, anti beta, beta-ists. It’s not a useful dynamic in modern times, who needs a hunter when there’s like 12 Walmarts within an hour of here?? (That depends on ur verse tho fr)

🌙 Ultimately I feel like when it comes to betas their self hatred or repression would create them leaning towards one of the other two dynamics too hard instead of just being content in their own unique strengths

Sorry if it’s a little shorter than the other one I still haven’t thought as much as I should have ! I should probably make a beta hc post soon :))

[f0point5]

We need a fc for Freddie ASAP, cause I feel like that will resolve so many questions about him. He for sure knows he is below her standards, so he’s trying to ruin her self esteem to get her to fuck/date him.

My mom’s friend once commented on the couple we saw on the street.

Little back story She was so fucking pretty, really put an effort into her appearance, laughing and joking.. She seemed like a really funny, someone cool you’d want to be around. He looked like he just rolled out of bed, didn’t even bother to brush his hair, clothes rumpled, grumpy, mean to her… She was so out of his league, but he had the audacity to check out other girls, IN FRONT OF HER.

Soo, of course we had to comment on it. And she said it’s probably low self esteem, lack of confidence, and that he made her believe he was better than her, and that she should be gratefull he’s even given her a chance.

I think that’s what Freddie is trying to do.

Can’t wait to learn what really happened in Monaco.

I wish her father makes an appearance, fucking destroys Holly and Lauren. Like bankrupt Holly’s agency, take over, renegotiates deal with Lando’s team. I had high hopes for Lauren, but not anymore. At first she seemed like someone who could be an ally If not a friend, but now she’s just an employee doing her job. So when times come, she’ll be treated as such.

I’m kinda afraid of what’s gonna happen in a meeting with Zak. I don’t really care about him IRL, but it’s seems like he won’t be a positive character in this.

Girlie is getting attacked from all sides, and I don’t like it. Really loved Logan detail. It does seem like people always try to connect WAGs to different drivers. Sometimes it is true, they seem to date from the same pool. LOL. But not this time, baby Logie can be a friend.

Next week, I hope we get at least some resolution, couse there are so many unanswered questions.

Btw, Lando did post much more last year, and in real time. But during summer brake, he and his friends got robbed. His friend talked about it on her tiktok. After that he started protecting his privacy better. Posting photo dumps only after he leaves the place, he even stopped posting on his .jpg account for a while.

Hahaha. Freddie will make an appearance and I don’t think he will what people expect….

Yeah guys do do that, I think nowadays they call it “negging”. It’s actually pathetic behaviour. We will see if you agree that’s what Freddie up to…

Lauren is doing her job, Sophie is doing her job, Zak is doing his job, even Holly is just doing her job. I think the problem when you’ve got so many people whose job it is to manage how another person behaves, you do get in these situations whenever you step out of line. Because at the end of the day these people can’t stop doing their jobs to take care of you. They may like you or even care about you in some abstract way but your well-being isn’t their priority. So it sucks to be in that position but from their side it also sucks, it’s like herding cats.

I do remember Lando’s friend Jennie talking about how they got robbed in Ibiza but somehow I didn’t connect that to why he stopped posting so much.

Also tbf when I compare him to Max I remember how much content I was able to get from Kelly’s insta, whereas Lando doesn’t have a gf. I remember Luisa used to share content of him and Kika has Pierre a lot on her insta. So yeah him being single is really not convenient 😂

But yeah I did not appreciate how between Kelly, his jet tracker, his redline streams, and the fact that he makes documentaries about his life, Max Private Man Verstappen actually has a lot of content out there lol

[svftlove]

𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲 @glcssed ! ♡

first of all, you clearly need to open this in another page so u can read all of it bc tumblr sucks. btw, we do have more than ten ships rn, it was eleven at some point and now it's more sdkfj, but when i started it we had ten soo . 🤭

anyway, today is one of the most important days of the whole year, and i can't believe we have to wait eleven months to celebrate it, but i think this means you should be celebrated every single day of the year. and i mean it, because you are one of the most wonderful, kind hearted, and inspiring people i've ever known. did i mention beautiful ? because you are, inside and out (how do you even do that ??). your presence on here makes life a little brighter for everyone luck enough to know you. today might be your official day, but honestly, every day is better because you're in it. i have told you this a million times but you are one of my absolute favorite people to write with, the way you bring your characters to life is nothing short of magical. your creativity knows no bounds, and every story, every reply, just gets me a little more addicted. the depth and emotion you pour into your writing are unmatched, and I’m constantly in awe of your talent. i am so lucky to get to write the most amazing ships with you, i love every single one of them with my whole heart. each one feels so special, and it’s all because of the magic you bring to our stories. from the angsty moments that leave me clutching my chest to very rare but sweet, soft threads that melt my lil heart. writing with you is honestly one of the highlights of my day, and i can’t thank you enough for being such an incredible partner in creativity (and chaos, i suppose).

i hope this year brings you nothing but happiness, love and all the amazing things you deserve. i hope your dreams come true adn your heart stays full. may you find new adventures, make unforgottable memories and continue to shine as brightly as you do. thank you for being such a wonderful friend (even if you constantly leave me on read), and amazing writing partner and just the sweetest human being.

happy birthday, my sweet angel! i love you the moon. ♡ also template is from @vernonline .

[winwintea]

okay since tumblr is being a bitch and hates me i will resend what i sent because fuck tumblr j’m stronger an di will copy it so if it doesn’t reach you i don’t write it again okay anyways

so it is not like i SHIP SHIP them like it is just fun and game yk? Me and my friends think like this like we make stupid ships and it becomes an inside joke😭 like once we put all our ults together and made them in one school with personalities beef gangs like it is so fun and we also made couples😭😭 it is so random but here are the ships we amde so far for this universe😭

karina and mingi- it is sooo random but it is the fashion it couple in school theyvare chill with each other if you are with them believe ne you are third wheeling mingi is so head over heels for karina like she is a queen to him yk what i’m sayin’? Like everyone loves them and they are so popular🤭

sunghoon and lia -also random but the calm smarty pants couple they are always in the library studying and always matching sweaters somehow and honestly no one has ever had beef with them they are in their own world

jay and mina - yk this wasn’t even planned😭😭 it was a joke jay being an english teacher and mina is also an English teacher then BOOM 💥 they become a couple and they are even married they are living happily all the students love them🎀

jiji- this was the first one and it has a long lore for some reason😭 like at first they were friends because their mutual friends (heeseung-sunghoon-intak-wonbin-sion) introduced them to each other and they got soo clos ethey always hang out rumors were always around the school that they are dating but nothing is true they are just close then one day someone spreads a rumor that heeseung and jiung are dating and jisung gets this weird feeling he doesn’t know if it’s jealousy or what it was anyways heeseung denied it everyone is okay but then one day jiung and jisung were hanging out in jisung’s house and then in the heat of the moment it just happens they kiss… and both of them gets so freaked out jiung quickly leaves and it becomes awkward their friends notice and yk jisung says to sion the famous lie “my friend kissed his other friend who is the same gender as him”😭😭 anyways intak who jiung talked to with the same lie and sion talked it out with jiung and jisung telling them that “if it feels right then just let it” -p1harmony fall in love again and then they realize they have actual feelings for ecahother THEN YAYY THEY ARE TOGETHER🎀🎀🎀

THAT WAS LONG😭😭😭 that’s not even the jiji fanfic i will send another ask about the fanfic💗

SORRY I COULD NOT RESPOND TO THIS BEFORE I LEFT IM HERE THOUGH!!! i saw the notif appear but the ship had already left

kpop idol universe 😂😂 honestly my take on shipping idols is like fine if it's just for like brainrot stuff you've described or even some fanfiction, but there obviously is a hard limit on the extent that shipping idols goes to.

obviously the whole norenmin thing is crazy and i'll never forgive nomin shippers for taking shit so seriously and bullying tf out of renjun like. why are we being serious?

we also have to remember that these are real people and not fictional characters (kpop is not jjk guys! they're real people!!) if your shipping interferes with the lives of actual members then you're doing something terrible. (make them uncomfortable basically i know some idols play into it for fun)

but i don't feel like we should stop the shipping mentality at times, bc it actually can have some benefits in the same way that it harms? fans having an open mind and not starting a parasocial relationship with idols can be a good thing, aka dating scandals aren't such a big fucking deal anymore (f those karina stans...)

half of the reason why i create random ships in my smaus bc first of all its fanfiction... second of all it's to create an open mind for readers!

but i love your ships they're so random and funny and well thought out i like it!

jiji is so cute, i've literally never seen them react. it'd be cute to see them interact though, two little introverts. the intj/infp interaction would be so cute i absolutely love the dynamic. jisung's such a big mystery half of the time and doesn't say much, and jiung would definitely be extremely extremely attentive and understanding, and fully depicting jisung's character that the two would make an extremely good pairing i think? it's cute i like the idea!

[devilbombers]

Hhhhiiiiii!!! This is the same anon from the yuri ask!!! 1st thank u soo much for answering my question 💕 & 2nd PLS DO GO OFF about how u feel negatively towards yuri PLSSSSSS!!! *clutches on to your shoulders like a mad man* it's not that I don't want to feel bored with yuri I genuinely WISH I could find a good yuri series but it's sooo hard & at some point u do get kind of tired of digging through all the other garbage yuri series that's out there & when u do find a good yuri series it's either some obscure yuri series that nobody's ever heard of that came out in the 90s/00s or the series got canceled due to poor sales/the publishing company just didn't give a fuck about it in the 1st place. Which is y it ALWAYS grinds my gears when I c ppl b like "would u himejoshis stop bitching because your yuri series aren't as popular as the BL/yaoi genre, y don't u just make your own yuri series/write your own yuri fanfics 🙄" like BRUH WHAT DO U THINK I'M TRYING TO DO?!?!? Sorry I actually have standards for the media I consume & not consume the same uke & seme toxic yaoi skinny twink series for the 500 millionth time in a row

I could cry over how much i understand you. (you are right and you should say that abt bl) this world is too cruel. Real Himejoshis like us need to stick together 🤝 i can send you all 5 series i can think of thats actually good if youd like.

tyvm for indulging my manic frusturations. This is certainly gonna be a long post saurrrr ill have to put it under a read more lmao. You asked for it so the gloves are completely off with this one and i thought abt it again and i actually dont care if anyone thinks im wrong.

I've come to the sad realization yuri can only REALLY be categorized like the following:

#1: yuri that is boring

unfortunately the usual case with 90% of yuri especially with new series

usually plays upon overused tropes making everything abt it lack any uniqueness to it

it is such an epidemic its forced himejoshis to become resigned to accepting these things into their hearts and even pretending its the shit when really its just shit 😭

its hard to give examples bc this makes up almost all yuri i can think of

#2: Non-Existent yuri

A series with really gay girls but they dont ever explicitly say theyre in love.

ex. dungeon meshi

Most himejoshis will on in the hill of saying they love subtext but we all know and especially themselves know that isnt true

#3: Yuri that is unserious as fuck

Theres a lot of drama yuri out there but it is always so fucking unserious it just ends up being funny as fuck instead

ex. Onii-Sama E and my girlfriend isnt here today

quite often this type is also associated with erotic media. But theyre so goddamn unserious it dosent matter how sexy either of them are, it immediately makes them so unsexy the minute they start talking.

i would only say ive succumbed to believe i love this genre bc i love to laugh at it sm

#4: Yuri where one or sometimes BOTH of them are dead 💀

i literally dont care i hate the "bury your gays" trope so much. it just aggravates the shit out of me bc what is even the point anymore then

great example of this is Alien stage

personally i feel like the only yuri that can exist like this and is actually genuinely good is obviously PMMM (i will fight everyone on the planet over this IDC)

#5: side character yuri

sort of a popular trend. kind of goes hand in hand with non-existent yuri but personally i think they count as different entities sometimes

extremely minor plot points or concurrent small interactions between side characters thats kind of gay as shit

theyre either EXTREMELY GAY or just a little gay theres no inbetween (either way, people will lie one way or another to say its really good)

despite the fact this yuri is quite ephemeral or absolutely nothing some ppl will still call this media wholly yuri for whatever maniacal reason

#6: YURI THATS TOO FUCKING SHORT

Unfortunately the best type of yuri also happens to be too goddamn short (usually limited to oneshots, anthologies, manga series no more than 25 chapters)

All my favorite yuri happens to be like this and i always scream at god for making life like this

If i hate anything in this world its liars, so i probably hate other himejoshis very much bc i keep constantly reading suggestions people hype up on the internet and ultimately being disappointed every single time because its never as good or unique as anyone says.

Its easy to say i hate them but its probably pity. I pity my fellow man that i consistently watch them fall for yuri underneath a wooden box held up with a stick and rope.

With all this being realized; its hard to ignore the truth of it all when trying to get into yuri regardless of it. So ive finally decided to stop listening to literally anyone anymore and ive ultimately stopped seeking it out bc im tired lmao

[desultory-novice]

did you watch the trailer of magolor mode from the direct? looks like it's a hiad type. he lost his powers after the end of rtdl and is in between dimensions.

I did! We were all right about Magolor mode!

(By the way, in case anyone is still concerned about what was in leak, what everyone just saw in  the Nintendo Direct was entirety of the contents of said leak. Of course, now that there's a demo, there's certain to be more leaks soon...)

And speaking of HiAD, you're right that it seems to behave similarly. But I also think I spotted a hint of that familiar HiAD yellow flooring toward the end too. I'm amused by the weird checkerboard look the dimensional tunnels in the background have as well.

(Speaking of checkers, I recently watched a playthrough of Kirby's Airride, the only Kirby game I had zero experience with and was really fascinated by Checker Knights. I mean, did they just hide an entire highly-advanced underwater ruined city in the background of a stage? When are we getting lore about that!)

Soo...

Outside of hype, I really hope there's some kind of explanation about what they mean by Magolor's "powers" because it really bugged me that they kept using the phrase "regain his powers" "restore his powers" "get back his powers." It feels like a story conflict...?? Because we all know Magolor is the (2nd) most broken Kirby character ever. Way stronger than Kirby actually is.

The Star Allies guide drops some heavy hints that the reason he's so powerful in a Post-RtDL world is the after-effects of having used the Master Crown. So, are we helping him regain his Master Crown powers, immediately after having to stop him from...using those powers? Or are these his own powers we're restoring? If he was always that powerful...why did the plot of RtDL have to happen...?

(I have this same complaint about Marx and his "True Form." Why did he not just activate the fountains himself and let Kirby sleep through his conquest of Pop Star? I don't care for "They were just lazy/wanted someone else to do the work" as an excuse and I hope that's not the conclusion we're left with.)

Anyway, current mood: CONFLICTED

Also, I'm not sure if it was obvious before but now it's clear that the boss we saw Magolor fighting in the leaked screenshot is a reskinned Fatty Puffer. I'm assuming the rest of the bosses will be back in some form too. (Mr. Dooter fans, rejoice!)

If there's 20 stages, that's enough for 5 stages per Dream Land boss. I wonder if we'll see Hades-ified versions of Metal General and Landia or if they'll be left out of this? I wouldn't be surprised if after Hades Goriath, you just go straight to Morpho Knight or Betalor or whoever ends up being the last boss of this mode.

Other random thoughts...

-I'm terribly amused that Magolor's clothes rip...only after he's sent into Another Dimension? Like... they're not that way because he lost to Kirby, which is the obvious conclusion.

Oh boy, my HC-formulating brain is whispering to me, "Hey, Dess! What if... what if like, the Magolor we see in game is an illusion cast by magic, and he ALWAYS looked grey and dirty with worn robes under the spell? Beating him just broke the illusion. I mean, he is from (?) a hell planet. Why should he have nice, clean clothes??"

...Dang, that actually makes a kind of sense??

Lastly, why do I get the strange feeling that a novelization of Magolor Epiloque will be out before the end of the year? XD

(...A sympathetic depiction of Magolor from Takase-sensei, finally??)

[heckling-hydrena]

Hi I left you a long tag essay before I realized you said to send an ask (my bad). But I would love to help with your calculator!

I have a couple ideas on how you could make a sheet or form for user submission, namely I would personally section it by year or section of IDs to hopefully avoid selection bias (people submitting the same popular piece of apparel or popular gene over and over).

If using a form that might have duplicates, you could probably use a combination of SORT, FILTER, and UNIQUE on the submission form results to filter them out, which wouldn't account for typos but might cut some of it back. For allowing people to check which items have been submitted I would make a lookup command using INDEX and MATCH for item names that returns a true or false if it finds that item name.

I also have a huge project spreadsheet myself with data for every gene scroll (as well as gene IDs from the scrying workshop), piece of apparel (most bundles too, I might be missing some), scene, and vista. It has IDs, prices, locations, ingredients, and auto generated game database links and BBCode. For your format it would only be missing Cycling, Retirement, and more specific item Bundle data. I could easily write a concatenate to format it into a more usable string for you with a caveat of maybe having to replace quotes with another character and find-and-replace them later.

Sorry for the length of this ask, I hope it's comprehensible. And I'd be perfectly willing to help with setting stuff up too, I genuinely, seriously love making spreadsheets, forms, and entering data.

I didn't mind the tag essay at all don't even worry about it!!

I really like your ideas (and the fact that you already have a spreadsheet that has most of the necessary info) and frankly if you'd like to help with setting up a sheet for this I would be so very thankful I'm like the one single flight rising player that doesn't like using sheets. also I'm thinking of cutting out retirement data and just putting "unavailable/retired" in "location" instead, just because I wouldn't really get enough use out of the retirement info to justify a whole separate value.

but before starting on the sheet I should probably set up a way to more effectively communicate with people who'd like to help with this project (and also anyone who wants to see the progress). I'm thinking a discord server would be the easiest way to go about it but they stress me out soo bad. will update you all on that when I can I'm just really busy these days. absolutely ideal moment to start a big fucking dragon neopets project am I right fellas

[starlitangels]

hello! i've been seeing soo much of my favorite artists get into redacted audio and i just wanted to know where can i start listening or what character should be a good start for me to get into redacted?? i've been wanting to listen to him but idk where to start! thank u 😊

Hello friend! I've answered this before but I'll go ahead and do it again since my answer has changed just a little teeny tiny bit

I would recommend Freelancer Season 1 to start! There are a lot of posts on this website about everyone's recommendations, but I'd say probably Freelancer Season 1 because the main listener character is also just as new to the rest of the shared universe as a new audience member, and gets the basics of the mechanics explained pretty well.

Normally I'd also recommend Sovereign State Season 1 as a good starter too, but its finale episode(s) need a lot of context to really have the proper impact...

Unless of course you have plenty of time and don't mind a lot of information being dumped on you. In which case I recommend grabbing the "Everything" playlist! It's every narrative video he's made in the order of release, so the exposition is in the order that he gave it in. Which, honestly, can be very helpful, because watching things out of order can be confusing because some information will be casually mentioned like it's common knowledge while you're sitting there confused like "Wat?!" because that exposition was in a different series

But if the "Everything" playlist seems too long and daunting, character playlists for David, Asher, Milo, and Vincent (before the Inversion series) are a little easier to digest.

Also an important thing to note: everything is connected. Even if you don't think a certain storyline is connected to the rest of the universe for [reasons] when you first listen to it, I guarantee you, it's connected in some way.

Redacted also has a website with an official timeline but I don't recommend reading it until you've watched most (if not all) of the videos because reading a timeline is honestly more overwhelming and a lot less fun and interesting than just listening to the videos. Go to the timeline afterward for specific dates if you need them.

Also bear in mind that he deals with some heavy subjects sometimes and applicable content warnings will always be in the YouTube video description. If you're more sensitive to certain subjects, read the descriptions and make a judgment call from there. If you can handle pretty much anything, that's more than fine, but if not, this is your friendly advice from me to keep an eye on the video descriptions for any subjects you'd rather not hear about

I love the Imperium AU and Inversion but they can be too dark for some people and that's okay

I'm not trying to scare you off, I promise. I love this channel and its stories dearly and could not recommend his storytelling more highly. I just want you to be aware that heavy subjects can pop up

Redacted is an adult and writes stories mostly about adults, so mature topics and "spice" (as a euphemism) will pop up alongside the aforementioned "heavy" subjects

Another thing: trust in Redacted's storytelling. If something seems "bad," it is most definitely there to serve a greater purpose later down the line. Trust that he's going to service his story and the things that you may not like will lead to something so satisfying when its time comes

Anyway. TL;DR, start with either the "Everything" playlist and go in order of release for the "true experience" of having a seemingly random barrage of characters thrown your way, or start with Freelancer Season 1 for a decent rundown of the universe's rules and mechanics and magic system

Don't do what I did. Which was hop around randomly, cherry picking whomever's "title" seemed the most interesting at the time until I'd heard the whole channel and had to go relisten to things in some semblance of the right order in order to figure out wtf was going on. I ended up watching Elliott's playlist as the first playlist I watched and let me tell you, I was confused as hell. Don't do that. Freelancer Season 1, and the "Everything" playlist are my top recommendations for understanding the lore in the order it was released so you need fewer context clues on wtf is going on

[idyllic-affections]

tbh, when I saw Skirk, I just thought she kinda looked like a knock-off Jingliu. I mean, we glimpse some more interesting design bits like fins (possibly indicating some sort of connection with the Abyss Whale, the whale btw is just.... mmmm *chefs kiss*, water-themed kaiju ) which brings an issue with howna good portion of the adult model Xianzhou women are all wearing extremely similar outfits with some small personalization and differing color palettes, which is something I honestly didn't realize until someone on discord pointed it out. But that's a discussion for a another ask.

Ans I agree with you, I was always envisioning this rugged, scarred, battleworn woman. Somebody whose spent so much time trapped in a lightless hellscape, fighting day-in and day-out against the monstrous inhabitants, that she herself has started to become something of a monster herself. She's beautiful, but not in the traditional/generic way. Paraphrasing you slightly Alphe, she's not elegant, she's not super precise or surgical with the way she fights, she's feral, monstrous even. She's beautiful not in a way that beguiles, but unnerves, perhaps even terrifies the viewer. That's the vision for her that was in the back of my mind when she was described.

This also brings me a very annoying trend I've noticed. How there's literally not a single female genshin character (or just hoyoverse female in general) who has any visible scars. The closest I can find is Beidou with her missing eye, but I would argue that still doesn't really count because we can't see the area (I’m not saying we need to see her fucked eye, more that'd be cool if we got a glimpse of the area poking out around the eyepatch). And she's not the only one who I feel like we should see some scars on.

Dehya, Candace, Sara, Shenhe. And those are just the ones I can think of.

And I can definitely understand  🦢Anon's feelings for Natlan and Snezhnaya. I'm particularly worried about Natlan, particularly what they're gonna make of Murata, who - to paraphrase Christopher Judge - is a FUCKING GOD OF WAR.

she SOO reminds me of jingliu, you're right. and that's also very true. i noticed that when designing my first honkai star rail oc, lian. it was a huge issue for me because it made it hard to find inspiration.

YOU GET ME SOBS i understand the appeal of delicate designs, i do, but there's so fucking many!!! in hyv games!!!!! is it so bad of me to wish for One rugged lady warrior....... arlecchino is good though i like her design <3 BUT YOU GET IT!!! SHE IS BEAUTIFUL AND ELEGANT BUT IN A NONHUMAN WAY!!!! SHE'S ELEGANT LIKE A HUMAN WHO HAS SLOWLY BEEN CORRUPTED BY EDLRITCH FORCES!!!!! SHE IS BEAUTIFUL IN AN OTHERWORLDLY AND UNNERVING WAY!!!!!! she is a warrior with little honor left in her, because there is no such thing in the abyss.

NO YEAH it's like :((( give them scars!!!!! scars tell stories!!!!!!!

i've been generally gentle about my thoughts on skirk but i will be LIVID if they do this with murata and the tsaritsa.

[natsmagi]

(future au anon) thanks!! And yeaaah making this au is REALLY fun, making aus with friends is always so fun tbh! (Reminds me i also have a Wonderland AU that i love very much but it's more HiiKohaAi centered bc i love them very much)

ALSO TRUE NTGM COULD'VE SUCH COOL UNCLES..But we killed Tsumugi😭 amsorry

Anywayy time to tell u more about Kiiko Suou :) any pronouns but mostly uses he/they also made by me

First of all they're a producer!! Though deep inside he do want to be an idol it's just huuum let's say he doesn't think the best of himself and they think it's better for them to not "be in the spotlight" and be a "support role instead" but that ties with his backstory that I'll explain now

(*cough* and they created an illegal unit with other fanchildren anyway *cough*)

So!! Kiiko being the next Suou heir has well a lot of expectations put on them by the family ever since...he was born, honestly

But they mostly inherited of Sora eccentricity, energy, and even some of his speaking pattern + the synesthesia. Kiiko is way closer to Sora anyway and despite caring about his child a lot Tsukasa doesn't spend much time with them since he's VERY busy with looots of stuff (Family business + becoming new Pres of NewDi + being leader of Knights + protecting Kohaku's daughter from the Oukawa dirty work bad Kasa putting ur niece before ur own son)

Anywayy but hum the angst part (there always is one) of Kiiko's backstory is the Suous. Weren't very accepting of him. He acted way too energetically to their liking and it didn't help Kiiko actually have some sort of intrusive thoughts...so basically they would think and say very inappropriate things and give crazy and dangerous ideas without realizing (for example..uh well the illegal unit idea came from Kiiko and the others went along with it lol. Guess I'll try to elaborate on this unit later on huh)

Also didn't help that Tsukasa actually had a daughter with Tori beforehand (i also ship Torikasa) and well since it's Tori taking care of her now (Torikasa didn't last in this au sadly but it's fine theres Sorakasa) she's supposed to be the Himemiyas heir now but the Suous also want her to be their heir bc they consider her way more fitting for the role. And so they often compare Yui (Torikasa kid) and Kiiko like "you should take example on her and act more disciplined" and similar stuff

(and the synesthesia just made all of the Suous disappointment impact on Kiiko even worse,,)

SOO conclusion Kiiko thinks it would be bad for him to be an idol bc he'll be too much in the spotlight and will Very Probably mess up bc of their intrusive thoughts so they just choose to be a supporting role, aka producer (...and still messed up anyway but its fine Kiiko we luv u anyway)

And Kiiko suggested the illegal unit idea out of good will, too :) bc basically i have another fanchild, a MadaAnzu one (or whatever the ship name is), Yumeto, who's also a producer, but also dreams to be an idol. and he tried, he really did, he took the entry exam two times...but failed both times. So he just became a producer instead bc its the closest he can get to his dream

So ofc Kiiko and Yumeto become very close as both producers (*cough* they're a ship *cough*) and Yumeto end up venting to Kiiko about his dreams being crushed, and that's when Kiiko is like "Then just perform illegally! :D"

Yumeto ended up accepting and convincing Kiiko to perform illegally with him, except that their roommate, Setsuko (made by my friend, she's an Izuleo kid), kind of heard them on accident...and uh long story short she joins the illegal unit!

By illegal unit i mean that they're not registered on paper and just. Invade stages. To perform. Illegally (ofc they're disguised when they do)

GOD BEFORE I KNEW IT I ENDED UP RAMBLING SM IM SORRY AIVZVIPYGZ

HELP ITS OKAY THEYRE FUN READS!! i love the amnt of thought and care put into these lil guys....... and theyve got alot of really cool depth and character to them that makes everything tie together so nicely....... TBH I DONT REALLY HAVE MUCH LEFT TO SAY BUT I DO REALLY LIKE WHAT U HAVE GOING !! again while u dont have everything figured out rn what u DO have is enough to give it the feel of a complete story and thats super admirable!!

I HOPE THEY GET THEIR HAPPY ENDINGS THOUGH.......!!

[sleepymarmot]

Y Tu Mamá También (2001)

[Watched on April 14th]

Soo, I think this has been on my watchlist for… fifteen, close to twenty years now? (For the obvious reason a teenager in the 2000s would be checking Alfonso Cuarón’s filmography.) I think I might even have a DVD somewhere. Well, maybe it’s for the best I only got to it now.

Notes taken during and after the viewing:

I’m glad I know no Spanish so there was no point in even trying to listen to the words, because holy shit these people are not enunciating.

I have no idea how anyone could watch this in theaters. I constantly had to rewind to process the narration and figure out who’s who. This whole thing seems far more suited to a book. So far it’s a pretty typical novel, complete with explicit scenes that would usually not make it to the screen, and the narrator cutting in to provide background information.

I’m assuming the film expects the viewer to identify with the boys’ POV but it’s completely impossible for me. They’re the aliens, the kind of people I used to intentionally stay away from. She’s the one my gender and age (actually, maybe even a bit younger than me, which makes seeing people refer to her as an “older woman” pretty funny). Is this supposed to be seen as a coming of age story or something? Because so far it looks like the story of an adult walking into the biggest mistake of her life.

The question that haunted me throughout the film was: how exactly big of a mistake that would be, according to the law? It’s one thing to do something irresponsible and immoral; it’s another to knowingly risk going to prison for it. One of these omniscient narrator explanations could have been used to clarify to a foreign viewer what the age of consent was in 90s Mexico…

My mortification on behalf of the woman got so strong I had to pause for a while right before she started fucking the first of the boys. I was so distracted by the relationship drama that I (as you can see from the comment above) forgot about her doctor’s visit and thought it was all just a rebound. To be fair, I initially assumed her mystery illness was more in the realm of infertility, and only figured it out 20 minutes before the end of the film.

Ironically, throughout most of the roadtrip my thoughts were “I’d want to kill myself an hour into being stuck there.” I guess for her, it was kind of the reverse!

Her not caring about protection should have been a hint. That’s actually what had been on my mind the entire film — right from the beginning I was expecting the reveal that one or both boys got their girlfriend(s) pregnant. Honestly surprised it didn’t happen. And here I thought the boys’ carelessness about where their sperm ends up was supposed to be saying something…

By the way, I feel like only Tenoch was given his own characterization, then Julio’s mirrored his. This led to a weird effect in which one of the boys felt slightly more fleshed out than the other, but they weren’t distinct enough from each other. “Teenage Boy™, two copies, please!”

While the boys were obnoxious and the woman was formulaic, what I really enjoyed was the trip through Mexico. The naturalistic filmmaking style makes it feel true to life; the sights of a country I’ve never been to and have rarely encountered in media engage my curiosity and feel like a learning experience, and at the same time, the 90s atmosphere of warmth mixed with social unrest makes it feel like something from my childhood on the other side of the world.

Good filmmaking; I just wish it were about characters and events that were interesting or likeable — at least one of the two.

P.S. A surprising number of reviews mentioned being forced to watch this in class. WTF!