#((or at least you have dee being Soft and Gay))

[ts-unsolved]

The night we met

((i got carried away imagining this scenario, so here’s the conversation that lead to dee joining aboard the Investigation Station))

Summary: On principle, Dee tries to not let his major life choices be ruled by what happens over highly-priced drinks in crummy bars, but flying too close to the sun that was his old college rival had never been part of the equation before.  

Aka: Roman tries one last time to convince Dee to hunt ghosts with him, and he finally says yes. (Aka^2: can you believe Dee has been pining for two whole years? lmao get it together boi).

Content Warnings: Drinking, mentions of smoking, allusions to drug-dealing and generally shady/unsafe atmospheres, mild swearing, references to fights/stabbing/being killed, food descriptions/eating.

Word count: 2.4k – I am not the only traveler Who has not repaid his debt I’ve been searching for a trail to follow again Take me back to the night we met –

[February, 2015. Los Angeles, CA.]

With a languid roll of his wrist, Dee swirled the peach-colored liquid around his glass for what felt like the hundredth time since he had sat down at the round rickety table. Blame it on his keen intuition for arduous conversations, but he had not managed to settle his nerves since he and his companion had entered the dim and dusty bar, and something about the location they had found themselves in was only lending itself to his growing headache.

It wasn’t a secret that Roman’s family was loaded; Dee knew this for a fact, and yet out of all of the establishments in the city they could have gone to, the man had chosen such a lowkey place for them to meet. Perhaps in his mind the discrete look of the place was appropriate for a supposedly momentous conversation, although whatever grand idea Roman had of a ‘private business discussion’ definitely didn’t match the reality of what was going on in the shady establishment, all of which spoke of illegal activities with the subtlety of a glowing neon sign. From what he had already managed to discern from a quick glance, there were hands dealing under the tables, side-glances from couples locked in suspiciously hushed exchanges, not to mention the laundering scheme this place seemed to operate as a front for, barely even camouflaged under the displeasingly unkempt storefront with furniture that looked like it dated back to the 60′s and the pervasive smell of cigarette smoke to match.

Dee suppressed a grimace as he forced his attention away from surveying the landscape of the bar and back to the man sitting opposite him. By all means, this was the exact kind of place he would choose to hang out in if he were to catch up with some of his old high school friends, and yet being here with Roman Kingsley of all people somehow made him want to reevaluate the decisions that lead him to being in this clearly cursed timeline, because there had to have been a horribly wrong turn made somewhere.

As if sensing himself being at the center of Dee’s thoughts, Roman looked up from where he had been prodding at his unusually soggy plate of nachos (“…I was hungry, though I’m not so sure I am anymore.”), and shot Dee an unguarded twist of a smile. It was the kind of expression Roman clearly wasn’t used to wearing; which was to say that it was less of his usual brand of over-compensated arrogance and more hopeful uncertainty. Dee stared blankly back, being struck with a realization as he took in the figure that was bathed under the terrible lighting of the bar:

‘Ah. One way or another, this guy is going to be the death of me.’

Surprisingly, the thought didn’t perturb him as much as it should have. Sure, being mugged and/or stabbed in the alley out back because he had willingly accompanied this walking hotspot of disaster to one of the more dangerous parts of the city wasn’t exactly ideal, but in all honestly it didn’t feel like it would be much of a surprise for him to meet his end in such a dumb and grisly way. Of course, with his baby snake waiting for him back home he was hardly looking for trouble, and especially not at the expense of somebody he didn’t even send Christmas cards to. Even so, his gut told him that dead or alive, he wouldn’t be walking out of this bar without a semblance of trouble following him; a prospect he wasn’t sure if he found exhilarating or exhausting.

And so there the situation currently was, in an uneasy limbo. With a sigh, he pushed his nagging thoughts to the back of his mind for the moment and took a sip of his drink, finding brief refuge in the sugary film that coated his mouth and the back of his throat.

Roman tracked the glass with his eyes as it was set against the table and quirked his lips in that infuriatingly smug expression only the two of them could truly pull off. “I didn’t take you for a mocktail kind of guy. Lost your edge over the years?”

Dee simply raised an eyebrow in response. It wasn’t a surprise that Roman remembered his delinquent past, what was a surprise was how this was apparently not a determining factor in eliminating Dee as a potential co-worker given the goody-two-shoes friends the other loved to hang around. “What can I say? In my wise age, I’ve learned to value substance over a cheap high. I’d have assumed you’d have shared that viewpoint given our similar tastes for the unconventional, and yet...” He gestured to the very stereotypically masculine pint that sat in front of Roman, not untouched and yet not being attended to either. Roman scowled in response, more at the menu than at him.

“Normally I’d agree with you, but despite what you think, I don’t actually have the money to drop on overcharged garbage like some kind of idiot. I mean, look: the Merlot is $50 here, Dee. $50. For Merlot. That is borderline criminal!”

For a moment, the air in the bar stilled. Dee soon realized that Roman’s voice had gotten a tad too loud and wow he really did not want to get beaten up because this pipsqueak couldn’t figure out what the exchange of dirty money looked like even when it was staring him in the face. Time to move the subject along to something less contentious, because he really did not like the way the dead-eyed look the bartender was giving them.

“Please, you only have yourself to blame for your poor judgement calls. We’re not here to have a lovely evening out though, are we? Let’s just cut to the chase already.”

Roman simmered down with a click of his tongue, pausing to pick up a tortilla chip and eat it, only to look disappointed by the lack of crunch. Nevertheless, as asked, he dropped all pretenses of small talk. 

“You read my text, then? Have you thought your decision though any more?”

There it was, the million dollar question. While he had been acting nonchalant about the matter ever since Roman had first approached him with his offer, the truth was that he had been weighing the pros and cons of this decision for days now, to no end. Remus, that absolute bastard that he was, was probably having a real laugh at his expense right now, knowing fully well the position he had put his old pal in by pointing Roman's attention his way. Perhaps a little payback on Remus’ end was warranted for their less-than-stellar parting conversation, although Dee couldn’t help his ire at his friend (ex-friend? frenemy?) for setting him up for this infuriating no-win scenario. Years ago he, young and foolish, had hoped that Roman would have dropped his inane obsession with the paranormal by college graduation, but given his current predicament it seemed he had underestimated the tenacity of Remus’ brother. Time to test the waters of that commitment, he supposed.

“About the wacky little ghost show you’ve been raving about since the dawn of time? Can’t say you’ve really sold me on it. I am a rather busy guy, you know; I can’t just drop everything for a show pitch I’m not even convinced on.”

This was a slight twist of the truth. He had been between jobs for months, a lack of inspiration and not being able to stand his bosses and coworkers being the reason he just can’t seem to stick to one place. He had long-since given up on his dream of going into show business, so for a long time he had settled on just doing what he could to maintain a living. It wasn’t a fulfilling way to live, but he was surviving, and that was all that mattered.

Nevertheless, Roman was not thrown by the negative response and instead puffed out his chest in a show of indignation. Clearly he would not be taking no for an answer without a fair fight, which likely spelled bad news for how this evening was going to go. “It’s not ‘wacky’, it’s a serious show for serious investigations! I’m really trying to prove the existence of ghosts here.”

“Right…” Dee squinted his eyes skeptically. “And you are aware that I don’t believe in ghosts, yes?”

“Obviously. Did you think I missed the three years of you being a dick about it?”

Ah, memories. Dee didn’t bother to hide his amusement at Roman’s grumbling. “My my, you’re still holding a grudge about that? Here I thought my depiction of Hamlet’s father was enough to wipe the slate clean. Didn’t it please you to see your greatest enemy play one of the spooky creatures you like so much?”

Rather delightfully, frustration gave way and the corners Roman’s eyes crinkled with the beginnings of mirth before he quickly hid the expression away by shoving another chip into his mouth. It was the kind of reaction Dee was still growing used to seeing from their back-and-forths, not quite being sure when their exchanges of teasing remarks had crossed the line into something more friendly. That said, it was certainly not an unpleasant development; in some senses, it felt rather rewarding to catch a glimpse of something less refined behind a curtain of perfectionism, much like seeing the behind-the-scenes of a broadway production. 

“Oh don’t get me wrong, you really did give an excellent performance. I can still remember act one scene five like it was yesterday. 'Tis given out that, sleeping in my orchard, a serpent stung me; so the whole ear of Denmark is by a forged process of my death’!” Roman dramatically reenacted the performance, hand pressed to his heart, and Dee preened under the praise.

“Why thank you. The dull lead was quite a letdown, though we certainly outdid ourselves in spite of the poor casting, didn’t we? Still, I can’t say that flattery will convince me to hunt ghosts with you or... whatever it is you were hoping for. The point still stands that it’s not exactly the sort of thing I’ve ever pictured putting on my resume.”

Roman’s smile faltered and he cleared his throat awkwardly. Without the comfort of dancing around their thoughts with friendly banter, things got uncomfortably serious a tad too quickly, it seemed. 

“I get that it’s... not ideal to you, considering how you always had high aspirations for your career, and a webshow is probably too low on the radar for your pompous-self. Heh... To be honest, I’m not sure why Remus thought you’d be a good candidate for the job,” Wow, rude. “But he did, and I’m kind of out of options here.”

Roman paused, the buzz of bar filling the silence between them as he clearly struggled to speak what was on his mind.

“Actually, the more I think about it, I can’t come up with anyone else I’d like to join more than you. You’d be a great host! You’re good at talking to crowds when you want to, you know how to improv, you’re one of the funniest people from our class, and as much as I hate to admit it, I always enjoyed acting with you on stage-”

At some point during Roman’s rant, Dee’s brain short-circuited with the words, and even as he tried to process they just kept on coming, to his absolute befuddlement.

“-And I guess I feel like you’d co- ...Hey, phantom of the opera, are you even listening to me?! I’m pretty much singing your praises here, which let me tell you, is rare for me, and you’re staring off into space! If you’re that disinterested, you should just say so.”

“Sorry. I was paying attention, I just...”

Dee scrunched his eyes shut as he tried to work through what Roman had said. Maybe it shouldn’t be such a shock to hear the compliments coming from someone he regarded as being an equal in terms of talent, yet part of him still screamed at him that it was only empty flattery to sway his decision. Sure enough, while it may be true that his cynicism had never failed him in the past, he still yearned to ignore the knee-jerk judgment and choose the better option, the one which meant that he was considered the first choice for something and his presence was wanted. Unbelievably, even to himself, he found himself tempted, if only by the warmth that came from such a thought. Perhaps if he was without the greater knowledge that he had, he would have jumped at the opportunity in a heartbeat, however the fact still remained that he was tired and worn from years of strife. At this point in his life, self-preservation was the only thing keeping him going, and so the idea of leaving the peaceful bubble he had built up itched like nothing else. But then, his thoughts drifted back to what could happen, of letting down Remus who had obviously entrusted him in this, despite everything they had gone through.

He truly must be growing soft, if he was willingly jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire.

(And was that so bad, to try to feel some warmth again?)

Begrudgingly, he opened his eyes to Roman’s concerned face. 

“...Alright. Perhaps flattery does get you some places. With such a compelling argument, how could I possibly say no?” He drawled, as nonchalantly as he could possibly muster.

Already flustered by his decision to agree so readily, he picked up his overly-sugary drink as a means to avoid eye-contact, though when seconds passed with no audible response, his focus still ended up being drawn to the other man for his reaction. Roman’s eyes were as wide as dinner plates and simultaneously filled with joy; despite the muddy brown of the lighting that had washed out his features into a pool of shadows, they looked as if they were sparkling.

Dee felt the wind knocked out of him at having that expression pointed towards him. It seemed like it had been so long since somebody had been brought that much happiness because of something he did. This...wasn’t a terrible feeling, he decided in that moment.

“That wasn’t sarcasm, was it? You really want to join?!” Roman just about yelled, drawing back the eyes of a few of the other patrons. Dee chuckled nervously, wondering how he could get them out of the building as swiftly as possible without causing further ruckus. If they would be working together, the last thing they needed was to get into a fist-fight, after all.

“I do. Please don’t make me regret my decision.”

In return, he was given a beaming smile, one that equally eased his uncertainties and spoke of future trouble.

“You won’t, I promise.”

[lululawrence]

lululawrence’s May 2021 Fic List

Previous Fic Lists / Fic List Podcast Masterpost

May somehow managed to escape my grasp and here we are again! I got a weekend away from the kids this month, which allowed me the chance to finally read for hours on end, and I therefore have quite a few fics to talk about! They were truly amazing, I loved every single one, and I hope you appreciate them too!

If you’d like to hear me share my excitement about these fics verbally and in more detail, you can listen to this month’s podcast here.

As always, be sure to show your love and appreciation for all of the hard work our fandom authors have put into their fics with kudos, nice comments, and (when applicable) reblogging their fic posts!

Just for Tonight (I can be yours) by @sadaveniren / SadaVeniren (42k, E, Harry/Louis, Big Bang fic, A/B/O, Royalty AU, Alpha Louis, Omega Harry, Innocent Harry, Sheltered Harry, Arranged Marriage, Friends to Lovers, Angst with a Happy Ending, but HOW DO THEY GET THERE?? lol, Mpreg, Heat/Rut, Poor as shit sex education lmao, Okay but for real the world building in this was incredible, I can still see the pictures in my mind that I conjured up for certain parts of this fic, It is incredible and the PINING AND ANGST OMG)

reckless serenade by @thepolourryexpress /  thepolourryexpress (4k, E, Harry/Louis, Girl Direction, This one is a bit hard to explain lmao, ....Non-Established Relationship.... relationship, it makes sense in the fic lol, clueless idiots in love, there we go, friends to lovers, humor, fluff, This is beyond sweet and fucking sexy)

a little tenderness by @disgruntledkittenface / disgruntledkittenface (11k, NR, Harry/Niall, 1D A/B/O Fest fic, Alpha Harry, Omega Niall, Touch Deprivation, Nesting, Cuddling, Scenting, Ace Harry, Fluff, Okay listen this fic was so fucking soft I cannot express to you, It was HEALING, I cryyyyyy it was just so beautiful)

What if I'm someone you won't talk about? by @louloubabys1992 / louloubaby92 (58k, M, Harry/Louis, Fine Line Fest fic, Song Fic, Based on Falling, Famous/Non-Famous, Childhood Sweethearts, Exes to Lovers, Kind of but not really at the same time?, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending but there’s fucking angst okay? lol, Hurt/Comfort, Sex Work, Exploitation, References to Rape, PTSD, There’s a lot of dark shit in here, please please please read the tags and keep yourself safe, But if you can handle it then fuck it was an fascinating story for sure!)

When Least Expected by @all-these-larrythings / Rearviewdreamer (22k, M, Harry/Louis, Quarantine Fic, Single Parent Louis, Teacher Harry, Mentions of Depression, Online Dating? Kind of?, Maybe it’s more like Long Distance dating, except they’re in the same city, anyway, Pining, Flirting, Oblivious boys, Soft, This fic was the epitome of soft, It was so incredibly healing to read it, So cathartic and beautiful and lovely, It just made me so happy and at peace reading this fic, and I really didn’t expect that from a quarantine fic tbh)

so c'mon c'mon (and dance with me baby) by @rockstarlouis / theweightofmywords (3k, NR, Harry/Louis, New Year’s Fic, Meet Cute, Louke are together at the beginning but it doesn’t last long, Work Party, but neither Louis or Harry work there lololol, Humor, Drinking, Dancing, This fic was just so short and sweet and fun I loved it)

Pound Cake by @kingsofeverything / kingsofeverything (2k, NR, Harry/Louis, Butthole Series fic, Hurt Louis, Sad Louis, Harry’s birthday, Friends to Lovers, Crack fic lmao, Misunderstandings, This fic was so funny but also somehow sweet, while still being about buttholes, Lauren is a magician what can I say lol)

Get Burned By the Fire by Anonymous (13k, NR, Shawn/Niall, Heartbreak Weather Fest fic, Song Fic, based on Small Talk, Bartender Niall, Mysterious Shawn, Casual Sex, I think that’s how you’d define their arrangement? lol, Pining, Harry and Louis are together and Niall’s besties and coworkers, They’re hilarious through all of this, Even though it’s casual sex or meant to be anyway, It defo is also like... a Breakup Fic, and also Exes to Lovers, Supernatural Elements, It’s all complicated and sooooo fucking gooooood)

The Shooting Star Of Promises And Fears by darkpoets (2k, NR, Harry/Louis, Soulmates, Wishes, This fic is incredibly hard to explain or describe, because the style and feel of it is incredibly unique, It feels almost floaty while you read it, if that makes sense)

Getting a Room by bluespring864 (2k, G, Lewis/Niall, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Idiots in Love, Banter, Listen this fic is short but packed to the brim with feels, omgggggg SO MANY FEELS, and so so lovely the way it comes together, but also hilarious too?, it’s just very THEM, I could also hear all the lines Lewis says in this fic in his accent, I heard his voice speaking them in my head, and I was trying so hard not to laugh out loud as I sat reading, surrounded by strangers lmao, It was so awkward but worth it)

Caves End by @jacaranda-bloom / jacaranda_bloom (40k, E, Harry/Louis, Big Bang fic, Famous/Non-Famous, Farmer Louis, Rancher Louis is maybe better?, I’ll put both cause Dee said farmer lmao, Footballer Harry, Australia fic, Horseback Riding, Angst, Miscommunication, Dee’s tags about that are hilarious please read them, Hurt/Comfort, This fic is just EVERYTHING, okay, It was so incredibly good)

and all I think about is you and safer by your side (parts 4 and 5 of where the lights are beautiful) by @polkadotlou / twoshipsdrifting (1k each, T, Harry/Louis, Alternate Universe, A/B/O, Alpha Harry, Omega Louis, Established Relationship, Mentions of Heat, Drabbles, Listen this whole series is amazing, and if you haven’t read it then these drabbles won’t have the same power they do otherwise, but they are SO DAMN GOOD OKAY)

Counterculture by @sadaveniren / SadaVeniren (6k, E, Harry/Louis, Omega Harry Fest, A/B/O, Omega Harry, Alpha Louis, Famous/Non-Famous, Underground Clubs, Pack Dynamics, Scenting, Public Sex, Orgies, Pregnancy and Lactation Kink, Like... this fic is FILTHY while still having super cool worldbuilding elements in it, and it’s kinky as shit cause Sada, In other words this is fantastic)

Say Something by @kingsofeverything / kingsofeverything (105k, E, Harry/Louis, Alternate Universe, A/B/O, Alpha Louis, Omega Harry, Older Harry, Age Difference, Heat/Rut Partners, Friends to Lovers, Kind of?, It’s Complicated lol, MPreg, Divorced Harry, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Harry has a lot of shit to work through, It all works out and it’s so fucking good)

The Until Series by @allwaswell16 / allwaswell16 (62k total, Harry/Louis (parts 1 and 3), Niall/Shawn (Part 2), Big Bang fic and Heartbreak Weather Fest fic, Song Fic, Seriously the whole albums is basically the inspiration lol, Cowboy Harry, Child Actor Harry, Cowboy Shawn, Songwriter Louis, Singer Niall, Farm Fic, Enemies to Lovers, Misunderstanding, So good just all of it, Dumb boys in love lol)

That Smile and That Midnight Laugh by @uhoh-but-yeah-alright / yeah_alright (50k, T, Harry/Louis, but also Harry/Nick at the beginning, Big Bang fic, Girl Direction, Based on Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, It’s like an extension and starts where the movie ended, So cool in that way I loved it, Grimmy and Louis are step-siblings, Friends to Lovers, No Cheating if that’s a concern, Sexuality Crisis but it’s more of like a Gay Awakening, Coming of Age story in that way, So freaking soft like omg, I just really freaking loved this fic)

[princeanxious]

I love your dragon au, may I have some headcanons?

Uh sure! You weren’t ship specific so i’ll try and be a lil broad and touch on a few for all of em! (Theyre all interconnected in a way but often spend much of their time together apart from the others bc thats how dragons be, even if these dragons are much more social than the average dragon)

Demus- Dragon Remus x Prince(ess) Janus

- Janus is ftm trans! His parents were never supportive and actively tried to hide that from that kingdom at every turn, so, he may have secretly gotten a certain mage’s help “cursing” him with snake/dragon scales & additional certain masculine attributes so that he’d be sent away and get time to live his life without royal duties breathing down his neck. Even if he’d have to live the rest of his life as a prince locked away in a tower.

-Remus is a Dragon that’s known to be very curious, driven to hoard things that intruige him. He lives in a castle he and his brother Roman overtook years ago, and they guard it and their hoards within it well. However, one day a nearby kingdom reached out to them with an offer: if they guard and protect Prince Janus while the kingdom scrambles to figure out what to do, the dragons will recieve offerings to add to their hoards along with provided meals and the means to provide for Janus. All the kingdom requests is to keep Janus safe and happy.

-and of course, they agree to. And Remus falls head over tail inlove in a matter of days. Janus follows soon after he finds that Remus is completely unbothered and supportive of Janus’s transition.

-Janus and Roman also get along super well, tho not in a romantic sense, especially after Roman learns of Janus’s love for plays and acting skills. Roman also gifts a few intricate outfits to Janus from his Hoard of beauty and passion bc they fit the short prince quite well, and because Janus wasn’t given anything to wear from his kingdom aside from tailored princess dresses(which he doesn’t usually mind the skirts portions now w/ his new body but somedays the disphoria would spike back out if he looked in the mirror while wearing one). Roman also helped cut Janus’s hair, and both dragons would growl threateningly at any kingdom official who dared look at Janus’s attire change questioningly. If anyone asked, it was because it made Janus happy and feel safe, and that was their job, was it not?

-Janus loves his new Dragon Boyfriend and his new Dragon brother-in-law(technically?) and this result just solidifies his confidence in the decision he made to get here. Roman and Remus know about the secret behind the curse and what Janus did to get here, they think he’s super fcking clever bc of it. And, Ro and Re swear on their hoards that they’ll never spill the secret if Dee doesn’t want them to, one because the Kingdom would then have a lead on trying to Reverse the Curse, and two, because it would put the life of the mage who was asked to do it in danger, and three, because their dragons and dragons are very very good at protecting what they love.

Logince- Dragon Roman x Knight Logan

-Logan is a prince to a neighboring kingdom, and he was betrothed to Janus in an arranged marraige sort of settup. Niether of them loved the other like that, but they were best friends and Logan respected(and defended) Janus being trans. So when he finds out something happened to Janus, he’s alarmed and upset that he wasn’t informed sooner. Then he finds out Janus is being guarded by dragons, of all things! And well, he needs to make sure Janus us safe, and find out whats wrong, what happened? And no one stops him from traveling out to the castle that houses the dragons to find out. The least he can do is make sure Janus is okay and respected by the dragons, but like hell is he going to wait for Janus’s scrabling kingdom to catch up.

The first thing he’s greeted by is a tall red scaled dragon, and he’s immediately on guard. The dragon grins and drops into a defense position. They don’t ask the other questions, which Janus will give both of them shit for later, but both parties are fueled by challenge and protective goals. And they launch into battle without a word.

-Roman is immediately intruiged and excited to find how Logan matches him in a fight, actually standing a pretty solid chance despite his weight and height. Logan is a skilled swords man, the best in his kingdom, its a shame his only downfall is that Roman has twice the height on him and more than twice the muscles, figuratively and literally. But even then Logan isn’t deterred and is capable of flipping the dragon onto his back which is p hot roman cant lie, so its a p even scuffle bc Romans highly entertained w/ this mysterious attacker.

-they kinda get caught up in the scuffle for a good while till Remus comes out to investigate and Logan disengages and dashes into the forest bc he’s smart enough to know he can’t really win the fight w/ one dragon, two is a death sentence.

-roman spends the whole night heated and excited as he rambles about the gorgeous short knight who nearly kicked his ass. Logan spends the whole night rethinking his strategy and trying not to get distracted by the memory of the infuriatingly hot smirk the dragon kept aiming at him.

-they scuffle twice more, filled with witty remarks and snarky quips that progressively get more flirty before they think to speak about /why/ Logan wants into the castle b4 the truth comes out.

-both are a little sheepish when Janus finds out just who Roman’s been waxing poetic about kicking his butt in an even match and spend a good 20 minutes scolding their gay af selves. Then Logan gets updated on the whole situation, including his not so subtle transition and his new dragon bf. Logan gets the dragon’s permission to visit so long as he keeps things a secret, and he scoffs that they’d think he’d even dare to try to ruin his best friends happiness.

-niether of them really knows when their little rivalry picked back up, but Roman and Logan spend their time together bickering and taunting eachother while playing a semi-unbalanced game of cat and mouse. Logan’s not allowed into the castle w/o playing their game first, and he honestly doesn’t mind. Their interactions get way more flirty and theyre just gay disasters that take way to long to admit their developing feelings till it all kinda rushes out the moment Roman pins Logan to a wall and Logan reaponds by locking his legs around the other, daring to keep him there.

-yeah they express their feelings to eachother in many ways that day. And Logan ends up secretly(to his kingdom at least) dating Roman, and Roman gets a prince bf of his own. They still taunt and play their game of cat and mouse tho, now its just accompanied by a ton more kissing.

Moxiety- Dragon Patton x Mage Virgil

-Virgil is the mage that helped Janus transition in secret, they’d been friends for a long while and meeting in secret to plan it. Virgil’s a pretty powerful mage and talented at what he does, and Janus’s trasition was a spell he cast himself, and its irreversable(on purpose, by Janus’s request/demand)

-Virgil travels alot now adays, never staying in one public place too long in fear of Janus’s knights suspecting him and capturing him. He knew the risk and was willing to pay the price to make Janus happy. He knows he must lay low for a while, and hes not very open about being a mage in fear of that being found out.

-well, one day he finds himself in a town not so open to the idea of magic in general. Its one slip up hes not sure he regrets to heal an injured child, but he finds him self tied to a wooden stake that same day, surrounded by a village chanting about how all magic is evil.

-and then a dragon swoops over and snags him from the fire as it ignites, just barely sinking his clothing before hes up in the sky. He promply blacks out from shock.

-and when he wakes up, he finds himself tucked carefully into a hammock with a soft blanket. The room he’s in is filled with an interesting assortment of things, haphazardly placed enough to register as a hoard than any other kind of room in this tower. That and the dragon that rescued him is resting nearby, his blue scaled wing outstretched and draped over Virgil protectively is kind of a dead giveaway too.

-Virgil would learn later that Patton had been following him, lead by how his hoarding instincts weirdly worked. He’d be thankful then, that they saved his life, despite the fact that he now technically counted to Patton’s instincts as part of his hoard. Patton was adamant that he’d been trying to rid himself of the attachment before, but once Virgil was in danger his insticts had been set aside to save the poor human. He couldn’t help that touching Virgil just solidified his instincts’s claim.

-Patton lets Virgil know he’s welcomed to leave any time he wants to, that they were safely away from the dangerous village now. Virgil finds he doesn’t want to leave just yet, and they settle on becoming friends.

-Patton is friends with Roman and Remus, and often visits them when he’s feeling too lonely. He’s plenty friendly with Janus and Logan at this point, being a much softer natured dragon than the twin dragons.

-the group finds it very, very coincidental and very ironic the first time Patton brings Virgil with him to hang out.

-their love story is a bit slower, but lets just say one day months down the line, Virgil pulls Patton into a really shy kiss and Patton all but startles Virgil with the happy purr that bursts from the back of his throat. Its not to much longer after that that theyre relationship is fully established.

[theyarebothgunshot]

sighhhh </3 🐞

welcome to people talk about gish in my inbox: part 3

I can't be the only one having Thoughts about Jensen's arms right now, I know so does Misha - tea anon

oh trust me you are not the only one AND YOU WERE RIGHT lmao he did mention the arms. we love to see it

I get your concerns Rose but I truly think they just miss each other that much. I trust they'll be fine. But I understand you - tea anon, handing a cup of tea

i agree actually i have had some time to think about it and i take it back lmao

Heyyyyyy bestie, I'm so sorry and I'm fully telling on myself here but Jensen and Misha talking about the gray in their beards fully killed me I'm weak, send help

ME TOO I KEEP SAYING IT BUT THEY WERE SO SOFT

Listen I need somebody to ask them about Ojai - tea anon

seriously we need to discuss this lmao

My... My Twitter timeline did a thing where it put a tweet about Jensen's arms and my friend's unrelated tweet about how something's so gay next to each other.

Also Cockles thank you for being such sweethearts.

Sending all the love to Rose and Gunshots nation - tea anon

don't you just love it when the universe lines up like that

WHY ARE THEY LATE AGAIN THEY CAN'T HAVE DISTANCE SEX - tea anon

lmao if only

turns out i can make it cause the thing i had going ended early, i can't wait to see two old men flirt for 30 minutes <3 🐞

this did not age well rip im so sorry <3

that damn sniper got the better of us again, like i’m actually sad :( will we ever know peace? the answer is always no lmao - 🦋 anon

i feel you babe, i felt sad too :( but at least we got to see them flirt!!

Ok so there's a theory that Jensen... misunderstood the timezones.

Ok anyway since I'm here I want to say that Gunshots absolutely doesn't have to post this but I want to give you my take on the opening ceremony situation. J2 stans are going to give us hell for this since it seemed Jensen and Misha didn't realize some things about each other but I think it was something different - I think it was the thing that Rose herself once pointed out about how they like to pretend not to know some things about each other to seem more... distant. The same goes for having not seen each other for a year which could be true but I liked our theory that they actually did. And from what I've heard about that opening (I couldn't see it myself unfortunately) it could be it.

Also a city thing could go for Misha moving a lot, we don't know how often he does that.

But also (bear with me) could be them having their downs during pandemic but I really think they're going to get through it or get it all back.

Also that comment about going grey seems really really inch resting. We've had that. We've had them bein flirty today. We've had Cockles posting at suspicious times. We've had them using the exact wording. We've had them right now wanting to see each other and looking really happy. We've had an interesting reaction about that city thing. We've had Jensen coming to GISH and being an assignment AGAIN, and I don't think Mish would pull this off if they lost touch. We've had them support each other on social media. We've had "Mish. Dee.". We've had an anniversary and I have doubts if they would do that if they felt fallout coming. It all will come together. Trust me. I think we're okay.

I think they'll be okay.

Rose sorry for bringing this back to you - tea anon, sleepy.

thank you for this!! <333 i agree and i really needed to read this

totally basking in the (frankly absurd) level of amused fondness in jensen’s, “ohhh hey, there he is!” — 💖 anon

oh my god yes its so fucking cute!!!

also!! as i was (re)watching the cockles zoom i noticed that the way misha frames his questions is so telling, in a: “here’s this info that i already know, now let me turn it into a question so others can know about it too” kinda way. at first it makes it seem like they haven’t spoken much until you notice that misha starts most of his questions with a statement (like “so you are” rather than “so are you” etc) — 💖 anon

you know what THATS SUCH A GOOD POINT THANK YOU

The more I think about the Cockles panel from yesterday, the more I love it. We got 25min of their small talk and being cute to each other. I have been blessed, my crops have been watered etc.

I would rather have this than a very rushed Q&A and have them struggle to answer things that God knows if they can already answer. Btw if they've rethought that in the last minute, I don't blame them AT ALL. And if it was just Jackles confused by timezones then it's honestly SO freaking funny. Pray harder 4 Jensen, y'all.

Anyway it was a blast and the first of many to come in future cons. Hope you and the other anons liked GISH as much as I did, I'm in it for life now. -🌻

honestly you are right, im gonna rewatch it after answering this and i am sure im gonna love it even more the second time. im so glad you enjoyed gish!! <333

[siren1song]

My first commission done! This one is from @emo-disaster for some soft anxceitmus. I’m ngl I fucking Melted seeing the prompt skldfljg

Commission Me!

Taglist: @acanvasofabillionsuns, @greenninjagal-blog, @jungle321jungle, @demidork84, @sleepy-sides, @gattonero17, @izzynuggets, @another-sandersidesblog, @nonbinary-royaltea, @strawberryjellystuff, @hickory-dickory-doc-k, @remusownsmyuwus, @logic-with-a-pinch-of-deceit

You’re All I Need

There were a lot of things left unsaid between Virgil and his boyfriends. It’s not like they didn’t communicate of course, but sometimes words were just… harder to say than it was to just ask Remus about his current project or throw a blanket just out of the dryer on top of Dee.

And sure, it may not be obvious that the three of them had a hard time with mushy moments, considering Remus said whatever was on his mind, and he and Dee had a tendency to always be touching, years of touch starvation resulting in them being the cuddliest fuckers in the group (according to Remus at least).

But sometimes Virgil wanted to say things. He wanted to say anything and everything he felt for his boyfriends since the day they saw him scale a building and Remus decided he had to learn how to do that immediately and wouldn’t leave him alone.

Like he really wanted to tell Dee that just because he doesn’t have the “right parts” doesn’t mean that Virgil didn’t think he was the hottest motherfucker he’s ever met (yes, even above Remus). Or that when Dee was half asleep and rambling about whatever came to his mind that was one of the times Virgil felt the most in love with him.

There was more of course, like their sarcasm and their intelligence and ability to decimate anyone with a well placed small and few lies told here and a truth told there. It was amazing, watching Dee be like that. Be who they were in general. Their entire existence was enough to make Virgil’s heart race.

Speaking of racing hearts, there was Remus. In all of his horror fanatic, gore enthusiast, innuendo loving asexual glory. Fuck, Virgil couldn’t get enough of fucking shit up with him and laughing his ass off when he tried and failed to be as quick and nimble as he was because Remus was massive.

Sometimes, during quiet mornings when Remus was still waking up and Dee was making breakfast and Virgil was stretching he’d just watch him stumble around the room and eventually flop face first on the couch. He’d give a muffled groan and Virgil wouldn’t be able to resist the fond snort in response.

They usually broke down into bickering after that, and Virgil wouldn’t trade it for the fucking world. Or, hell, a ticket to an MCR or Evanescence concert or something.

Even now, as they were settling down for the night in the mandatory cuddle pile Dee initiated so that he and Remus would actually sleep, Virgil couldn’t think of anything he’d rather have than his boyfriends being here with him.

“I can hear you thinking from here, Virgil, turn it down a bit,” Dee said, his hand shifting from under Remus’ and moving to flop unceremoniously into Virgil’s face, making him splutter and bat it away from him.

“Oh fuck off, you were probably thinking about something boring and complicated again, at least I was just being gay.”

Remus shifted, making Dee fall off his chest as he moved onto his side so he could look at Virgil with a shit eating grin and waggling eyebrows.

“Shut up Remus, I’m just as ace as you are, you know that’s not what I meant,” Virgil muttered, deciding to pull Dee onto his chest since Remus gave him up by moving.

Dee shifted until his head was nestled under Virgil’s chin, and gave Remus a pointed look.

Remus huffed, rolling his eyes as he scooted closer to the both of them and threw one leg over both of Virgil’s.

“Fine, if it’s not that, what were you thinking about that was so gay?”

Virgil hummed, nuzzling his nose into Dee’s hair for a moment before he decided he may as well answer. His thoughts had him in a pretty mushy mood anyway.

“You know, I didn’t mean to fall in love with you guys but… I’m glad I did.”

Remus made a gagging noise, and neither Virgil nor Dee could hold back their amused snorts in response, Virgil weakly attempting to shove Remus away from them.

“Go away if you’re gonna be an ass about this, squid!”

At the pet name, Remus stopped and immediately pulled Virgil in for a kiss.

It was chaste, and soft, and entirely unlike their usual shared kisses that were given when they were causing chaos, but Virgil melted all the same.

When Remus pulled away, Dee placed a small kiss of his own to Virgil’s jaw, earning a content sigh when he settled back against his chest.

“We love you too, bat shit crazy.”

Virgil huffed, shoving Remus’ face away from him again as his boyfriend snickered uncontrollably.

“Go the fuck to sleep you menace to society.”

Remus laughed again, and Dee gave his own amused huff, but the light was turned off and they settled into quiet, Virgil gently tracing patterns over Dee’s shoulders as he stared at the dark ceiling.

He’d meant what he said. Virgil was so glad he’d fallen in love with these two and the chaos they brought into his life.

They may have annoyed the fuck out of him when they first met, but he’d rather see a world without fucking seatbelts or something than be without them.

[magpiemorality]

Intruloceit Dee and Remus were the first gay couple in school, at least the first one that didn't had anything against showing it in public. Logan is a quiet nerd boy that has a crush on both boys. Dee and Remus were making out in a room when Logan walked in, locking the door in the process, he was about to confess his crush.

Pre-Intruloceit, established Dukeceit! 

AO3

***

There’s a certain celebrity status that comes with being the first out kid in school. There’s almost a legendary status that comes with being the first out couple in school, and it was graciously granted to Dee and Remus. They were flamboyant, they were popular, they were utterly and undeniably gay and very proud of it. 

It wasn’t at all the worst school for it, luckily, but they both came with pre-built reputations that helped them against the thankfully insignificant backlash from some of their more equality-adverse peers. Remus was, after all, constantly flicking his lighter in a very unsettling way, and Dee was top dog among the cheerleaders who would absolutely crush you if you tried to bully him or his boyfriend. 

Logan was in love. 

Well okay maybe not in love, but he’d never known anyone like them. This time last year he’d been just another quiet queer kid in an unfriendly school where the jocks ruled with an iron fist of intolerance, but this new school had Dee and Remus and Logan wanted. He’d spent a bit of time untangling what exactly it was he was attracted to, making sure it wasn’t just what they had but no; it definitely turned out to be the boys themselves. Dee was gorgeous and smart and had offered him a pen on his first day without hesitation and Remus was witty and cute in a soft, Mark Ruffalo or Paul Rudd sort of way. Also he’d apologised way too much when the soccer ball he’d been playing with had bounced on the picnic table Logan had sat at and startled him so badly he’d dropped his sandwich. They’d both insisted on buying Logan a replacement and yeah. He was crushing hard. 

Now, Logan being Logan he’d gone straight back to his research and had printed an entire binder full of information about polyamory just to prove to himself that what he felt was real. And then he’d anlaysed and charted his emotions around them and how they reacted and added that in for good measure. There were even a few pages about honest communication and not repressing feelings, just to explain why he thought all of this was a good idea at all.

Armed with the binder and a redbull for fortitude, he waited until he saw them slip into a classroom at lunch break and hurried to follow. Today was the day- no matter what they did afterwards he was going to confess his feelings to them. And then maybe run away or something. 

Remus was sat on a desk when he burst in, Dee standing between his legs and clearly annoyed to have been interrupted during their makeout time. But when Logan threw the binder onto the next desk over, and twisted the lock just for good measure, their protests were stalled. 

“Uh, what the shit?” Remus asked, staring at the intruder. Logan winced a little but launched into his pre-rehearsed speech, pulling out the papers and handing them over at the pertinent points during his presentation. Dee took them, looking more and more amused by the minute but Remus mostly just blinked at him while he talked. 

By the closing statement Logan was bright red, a little sweaty and ready to cry. “So that’s all. I am fully prepared to never act on this feelings but as handout four proves, confessing should aid my mental state and allow me to function normally again in instances where you are in the vicinity. Thank you for um, bye!” He swallowed, grabbed the binder, and ran off. The locked door stumped him for a moment before he managed to turn it and escape, trailing the odd paper as he legged it down the hallway. 

“Wow,” Dee remarked, still scanning the various documents. “So that was…” 

“I think we just got propositioned babe,” Remus noted. “Guess we’d better decide how to feel about that and put the guy out of his misery.”

Dee nodded. “It would be only fair, after all the effort he went to. Emergency meeting at my place after school? I think we should return the favour, how do you feel about slide shows?”

“I feel any way you want me to. But right now I feel like I wanna get back to what we were doing before cute and nerdy showed up. Y’know, to help me process.” Remus grinned without a hint of shame. Dee wrinkled his nose but laughed. 

“Very well. To help you process.” 

–

Next

[sleepless-in-starbucks]

if love was a snake, it’d have bit you

Ao3

Summary: Remy, Patton, and Drew are dating. This is a fact. Remy, Patton, and Drew refuse to admit they are dating. This is also a fact. Guess it's up to Roman, Virgil, and Emile to force them to acknowledge the truth. Content: Some swearing, kissing (mostly face kisses, but some lip kisses too), nb!Patton + nb!Emile, genderfluid!Remy, oblivious gays, seriously guys, so much obliviousness, the obliviousness might kill you, gods know it killed me, Disneyland cast member AU Pairing: Romantic Mosleepceit Additional notes: So many additional notes           -Big thanks to @emo-disaster for beta-ing for me and confirming the gays in this fic are wayyyyyy too oblivious           -This fic is almost 11k words. it was meant to be around 3k. I’m so sorry.           -Inspired by, but not actually based upon, this disneyland cast member au           -This is probably hella inaccurate to real Disneyland but i don’t care alright           -This fic is a (late) b-day gift for the one-and-only @notveryglittery !!! She’s an incredible person who I’m extremely happy to know, and I’m really hoping she even kinda likes this mess of a fic dsfbcdsjf

~~

    “-and if you’ll just sign here, I can finalize that upgrade for you.”

    The woman smiled at Remy as she accepted the pen he offered her. She looked tired, her entire appearance screaming ‘overworked mom’ even without the literally screaming (playfully, but still screaming) kids behind her. She definitely needed the vacation.

    “I can’t thank you enough for this,” she said gratefully, quickly signing the paper Remy offered her.

    “It’s no problem, ma’am,” Remy said, smiling politely as he took the paper and pen back, hitting a few keys on his computer as he did. “Just happy to make your stay as magical as possible. Here’s your keycard.”

    The stressed mother accepted the keycard from Remy with another smile. “Thank you.” She reiterated the sentiment before convincing her children to give her their hands and heading off for the elevators, her wife following with the luggage. Remy smiled after them, briefly letting the last of the room change form sit unfinished on his screen.

    “You’re going to get yourself fired for that eventually, you know.”

    Remy’s smile only grew at the sound of the all-too-familiar voice. He turned back to his work then, enough of Roman in his peripheral for Remy to tell he was strutting his stuff as a friend of Flynn’s. “Ah, you know they love me too much for that.”

    “More like they don’t look hard enough to catch all your illegal ‘on-the-mouse room upgrades.’” Roman corrected, leaning against the back of the receptionist desk. “Though if they ever do? You’re screwed.”

    “Shush, I’mma be gay and doing crime til Disney falls.” Remy responded cheekily. “And speaking of people who are going to get themselves fired, shouldn’t you be over in the good ol’ Disneyland already?”

    Roman shrugged. “Shift doesn’t start for another half an hour. I’ve got time.”

    “Time for what, exactly?”

    Roman grinned at that. “Gossip, of course!”

    Remy grinned now, too. “Well, if you’re looking for tales, a little birdy’s been keeping me updated on a blossoming relationship between one of the friends of Rapunzel and one of the friends of Snow White-”

    “Oh, not that kind of gossip.” Roman interrupted, waving his hand dismissively. “I’m talking the good gossip- preferably about you and your boos.”

    Remy scoffed, shaking his head as he hit the enter key and finished out the form. “Hard to gossip about those which I do not have, hun.”

    Roman groaned, slumping against the desk and throwing his head back. “Oh, please, Remy, don’t tell me you’re still in denial.”

    “Denial about what?” Remy asked, finally turning his full attention to Roman. “The fact that I’m single?”

    “The fact that you have not one but TWO partners!” Roman answered, dramatically holding up two fingers. “Not only are you being a proper partner HOG you are refusing to admit as such.”

    “Well if you’re just looking for someone to be the soul to your mate, handsome, I think I can hook you up.” Remy said teasingly, briefly lowering his sunglasses to wink at Roman.

    Roman met the wink with a deadpan stare. “You’re a taken man.”

    “Only if you make it so.”

    “You can’t keep pretending your partners don’t exist.”

    “I can if I don’t have any partners.” Remy told him, finally pushing his shades back over his eyes and giving up at his mock attempts to seduce Roman. “Now, of course, I have two very close friends with whom I do many things with, but given I’m not dating either of them, calling them my ‘partners’ seems a little much, don’t you?”

    “I get it, I get it, I have good friends too.” Roman said, as if he were going along with what Remy was saying until he quickly added, “Except I’m not obviously DATING them!”

    “You’re hopeless, princey, truly hopeless.” Remy said in response, smirking as he patted Roman’s cheek. “Ya gotta stop finding romance where it simply ain’t.”

    “The only thing I am finding is the truth behind all the bullsh-”

    “Remy!”

    Both Roman and Remy turned from each other, gazes moving to the entrance, where the voice had originated from. The owner of the voice was hurrying over to them, their blond curls pulled back into a loose ponytail, keeping their hair out of their face and allowing them to smile brightly at both Roman and Remy. They stopped in front of the receptionist's desk, taking a moment to catch their breath and straighten their relatively small red tie.

    “Heya sunshine.” Remy greeted easily, smiling at Patton in a way that was a little too soft to be a proper smirk “May I ask what brings you here in the middle of your shift? You’re gonna get yourself fired.”

    “‘Worth it for a chance to see you.” Patton told him sweetly, giggling just a bit and ignoring Roman’s expression of self-confirmation. “Buuuuuuuut I'm on lunch break. Just came over to ask what you wanted for dinner. I know the plan for tonight was take-out, but I just realized that we have all the ingredients to make lasagna- aside from the noodles, which we can pick up on our way home- so I thought it might be fun to make that tonight instead!”

    “Sounds wonderful to me.” Remy answered. “We’re going to keep it a secret from Dee though, right?”

    “Of course!” Patton agreed. He leaned over to stage whisper to Roman, “It’s his favorite.”

    “Oh, you guys know each other’s favorite dinners, do you?” Roman asked, smiling in a knowing way and wiggling his eyebrows at Patton. Patton tilted their head to the side, clearly confused, while Remy answered casually,

    “Of course! You can only live with someone for so long without picking up on what they like to eat. Dee’s favorite is lasagna. Patton’s favorite dinner- which is coincidentally their favorite breakfast, lunch, and dessert as well- is waffles. And mine, of course, is a nice big cup of espresso-”

    “Don’t lie!” Patton cut him off, smiling as they leaned on the counter and ended up within an inch of Remy. “Your favorite dinner is chicken soup!”

    “Remy hates soup.” Roman said, raising a suspicious eyebrow.

    “Not chicken soup.” Patton confirmed, not looking away from Remy. “That’s his favorite, no matter what he says.”

    “Mmm, nice try, Pat, but that’s not it.” Remy denied. Patton pouted at him then, and almost immediately Remy relented with, “My favorite dinner is your chicken soup. You’re the only one who knows how to make it right, hun.”

    Patton giggled. “I make it just like anyone else would!” they insisted, though their smile brightened even as they spoke.

    Remy’s smile grew as well as he leaned forwards just a bit, pressing his forehead against Patton’s. “Nah, honeypie, you got somethin’ all the other recipes don’t.”

    “And what’s that?” Patton asked.

    “Loooooooove.” Remy answered, grinning broadly, seemingly happy to ignore how cheesy his answer was.

    Patton didn’t mind the cheesiness. “You’re too much,” they said, too playfully to be chastising.

    “Better than being too little.”

    Patton just grinned at that. “I have to go.”

    “Alright, sweetheart.” Remy said, expression seemingly not changing, though a close observer (aka Roman) might have noticed his smile dip just the slightest. “See you at six?”

    “Mhmm!” Patton confirmed with a hum. They pulled away from Remy, pressing a quick kiss to his forehead before they ran off, waving one last goodbye as they reached the doors before disappearing outside. Remy lazily waved his fingers after Patton, watching the doors a moment after Patton was through them before turning back to his computer and his work.

    “Ready to admit you’re definitely dating at least one of your partners?”

    “Nope,” Remy replied without missing a beat. “Though if you really want me to have a partner, you’re single… I’m single…” Remy waggled his eyebrows at Roman.

    Roman ignored his advances. “The chemistry between you and Patton is so strong I’m surprised nothing’s exploded yet.”

    “That was weak.”

    “Shush.” Roman waved his hand dismissively. “I mean, for the love of Apollo, they kissed you goodbye!”

    Remy half-shrugged. “They do that with all their friends.”

    “They didn’t give me a kiss.”

    “They were in a rush.” Remy explained away. “But if you really want a kiss-”

    “-I will get it from my darling friend of Rapunzel,” Roman finished for him, having leaned over to check the time on the bottom of Remy’s screen. “I got so distracted trying to get you to tell me the truth I lost track of time.”

    “What truth?” Remy asked, tone light. “The one about us making a perfect couple?”

    Roman smiled sweetly at him, as though Remy was naive. “Maybe in a universe where you didn’t literally live with your soulmates,” he said, patting Remy’s shoulder before he turned and headed towards the door. He raised his hand over his shoulder without turning back, half-waving at Remy as he added, “Call me when you’re done being in denial!”

    Remy just let out a light huff of amusement, shaking his head and turning back to his work. Roman could say whatever he wanted, but the fact remained: Remy was (un)happily single and most certainly not dating his roommates.

    Yeah, sure, maybe he could’ve mentioned that his ‘best friends’ were also his crushes, but, hey, it wasn’t like that was that important, right?

    ~~

    Patton was staring intently at the floor. Well, more technically, they were staring intently at the mess on the floor and trying to convince themself they were supposed to be cleaning up said mess and not doing anything else with it.

    The bell near the front of the store rang as the door swung open, but Patton ignored it. Plenty of people filtered in and out of the store. They did, however, pay attention when the sound of approaching footsteps got closer than the signs should have allowed.

    “I’m sorry, this aisle is currently closed, if you don’t mind-” Patton started immediately, tone polite as they looked up, fully expecting to find an angry customer who refused to go over one extra aisle for whatever sweet treat they were looking for. They stopped when they saw who it was, polite-but-fake smile being replaced by a genuine one. “Oh, Virgil, hello there!”

    Virgil smiled back, half-waving before he turned his focus to the floor, careful to step around the mix of glass shards and chocolate-covered balls of something as he came up next to Patton. “Busy day?”

    Patton shrugged. “It was fine until someone didn’t put the jar fully back on the shelf. I’m just glad no one got hurt.”

    Virgil nodded. “That’s good,” he agreed. “Waste of some perfectly good candy though.”

    “It is,” Patton bemoaned, looking sadly at the mess. Virgil side-eyed them.

    “Pat, you haven’t been considering eating the fallen candy, have you?”

    “Maybe?” Patton tried, looking at Virgil only to find his expression completely disbelieving. They sighed. “Yes. It just looks so yummy! Even mixed in with all the glass! Because the glass sparkles and makes it kinda magical looking and it couldn’t hurt to have just one-”

    Virgil put a hand on Patton’s shoulder, stopping them from bending down and grabbing one of the candies before they could move an inch. “All the candy here’s magical. Eat some of the candies that aren’t also glassy.”

    “Mhmm,” Patton hummed in sad annoyance. “But it’s such a waste… I can stop it from being waste…”

    “You could, but should you?” Virgil asked.

    Patton groaned. “I shouldn’t,” they said. “But I want to…” They sighed, turning their gaze from the tempting mess to Virgil. “Distract me. Why are you here?”

    “Other than to stop you from making poor dietary choices?” Virgil asked rhetorically before going on, “I’m avoiding Roman.”

    “Avoiding him?” Patton repeated. “I thought you two were getting along. Don’t tell me he started another prank war-”

    “No, he’s just being annoying,” Virgil answered. “He wouldn’t stop bothering me while I worked, because Remy apparently hadn’t been in the mood to entertain his gossip, thereby making me the person stuck listening to it. Guess Kev’ decided letting me walk it off for half an hour was better than me tearing a costume in frustration.”

    Patton nodded as they moved to once more hold their broom, beginning to sweep up the mess as they said, “What was the gossip?”

    Virgil leaned back on the shelf behind him, waving his hand pointlessly. “Oh, same old same old. Just talking about you and your partners, mostly how oblivious Remy is- which, I get it, Remy can be obtuse, but that doesn’t mean I want to hear about it all morning-”

    “What?!” Patton cut him off, voice a higher pitch than they had intended, stopping halfway through a sweep to look at Virgil in disbelief and confusion. “My- what partners?!”

    “...Remy and Drew. Duh,” Virgil said slowly, blinking at Patton as if they were missing something incredibly obvious. “You know. The people you live with. And are clearly dating. Those partners.”

    Patton laughed, a weird hybrid sound of amusement and awkwardness. “I think you’re a little confused there, kiddo. I’m not dating Remy or Dee- they’re just my friends!”

    “Yeah. Friends you’re dating,” Virgil said, raising an eyebrow at Patton. “Don’t tell me you thought I wouldn’t notice. It’s fairly obvious.”

    “I don’t know how it can be obvious if it isn’t true.” Patton responded, going back to sweeping as they looked away from Virgil. “We’re just friends. At least I am, anyways.”

    “What does that mean?”

    Patton briefly looked up from their work to look at Virgil instead. “Aw, shucks, Virge, you’ve seen how Remy and Dee look at each other. If anyone’s dating, it’s them.”

    “And you?” Virgil pressed, prompting Patton to look down again at their work. “I’ve seen how Remy and Drew look at each other, but I’ve also seen how you look at them. They’re pretty similar looks, my dude.”

    “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Patton answered, even as their cheeks flushed a light shade of pink. They risked a glance at Virgil, only to find him looking at them disbelieving. “Okay, maybe I love them a little more than just as friends.” Continued disbelief. “A lot more! But that doesn’t mean we���re dating.”

    “And why does them looking sweet at each other make them dating, but you doing the same just makes you just friends?”

    “Because I think I’d know if I was dating them, silly.” Patton responded simply.

    Before Patton could continue, or Virgil could speak up, they were interrupted by the sound of quickly approaching footsteps and the slight crunch of glass as the newcomer misstepped and stepped on the mess. “Well this looks… delightful.”

    “Dee!” Patton said, dropping their broom against the shelf as they carefully (but still hurriedly) stepped around the mess to approach their roommate. He was dressed as a friend of Aladdin’s, wearing baggy pants and a raggedy shirt-vest combo, his small red hat carefully hiding his bun, presenting the illusion of him having short hair. Slight touches of make-up highlighted the scar running from beneath his left eye to the bottom of his jaw, Drew always happy to tell the very dramatic tale of how he got it in a sword fight (when the truth of the matter involved a very long story having to do with toast, ferrets, and the reason why he wasn’t allowed to use the ice machine anymore). “What’re you doing here?”

    “Why, unhappy to see me?” Drew asked sarcastically, though he was smiling at Patton.

    “Never!” Patton responded resolutely. They wobbled a bit as they got closer to Drew, almost stepping on a particularly ugly shard of glass, but Drew reached out and grabbed one of their hands before they could fall, stabilizing them and helping to lead them right up in front of him. Patton giggled at his help, not releasing his hand even once they were done moving. “Just curious. Shouldn’t you be at the wishing well?”

    “Oh, I was,” Drew told them, free hand rising up to tuck a stray curl behind Patton’s ear. “But then I wished to see the loveliest face in the world and found myself here with you.”

    Patton giggled again. “The wishing well must be broken if it didn’t just provide you with a mirror.”

    A touch of pink coloured Drew’s cheeks at Patton’s words, and in the background Virgil turned from watching the two of them to stare blankly at the shelf across from him, as though it was a camera and he was in The Office. 

    “Trust me, angel, it made no error,” he said, despite his minor blush. “But to better answer your question, have you noticed how bright it is outside?”

“Of course I have,” Patton answered. “It must be warm out there.”

“It is warm,” Drew confirmed, sounding as if there was more he wasn’t saying but wanted Patton to pick up on anyways. “Some might even say it’s hot.”

“Just like you?”

Drew’s blush grew. “I think you’re missing the point.”

Patton’s smile turned a shade mischievous. “I’m not. I’m just waiting for you to admit to it.”

“Cruel, sweetpea, cruel.”

“Just admit it already!”

Drew sighed dramatically. “Alright! I fold! I admit that hydration in the face of the harsh sun is important.”

“Andddddd?”

Another sigh. “I admit that I forgot my water bottle, which I likely wouldn’t have done if I had simply used one of your sticky notes.”

“I even doodled a snake on your reminder!” Patton said, lightly hitting Drew’s chest. “It was cute AND helpful.”

“Just like you,” Drew commented, moving his hand from Patton’s hair to cup their cheek as they flushed. “And I’m sorry, dear, I really didn’t think I’d need it.”

“And yet, you’re here,” Patton teased lightly before turning towards Virgil, extending a hand. “Virgil, there should be a water bottle behind you- think you can hand it to me?”

Virgil did as he was asked, glancing behind him and finding that, yes, perched on the shelf was a metal water bottle covered in snake stickers. He grabbed it and turned back towards Patton, passing them the bottle. Patton took it and turned back to Drew, offering it to him.

“Oh, must I take it?” Drew asked, looking reproachfully at the bottle. “You’re so much nicer to hold.”

“Mmm, you need to get back to work before they catch you slacking,” Patton told him. “I’ll still be around to hold later.”

“Is that a promise?” Drew asked, even as he let his hand fall from Patton’s cheek to take his water bottle.

“Even better,” Patton answered, letting go of Drew’s hand so that they could loop their pinkies together instead. They raised their now joined hands so that they were in easy sight of Drew. “It’s a pinky promise.”

Drew smiled. “Good,” he said, bending his pinky a bit to squeeze Patton’s. “I’m holding you to it,” he punned before reluctantly stepping away, letting his and Patton’s pinkies remain linked until he was forced by distance to let go.

“So,” Virgil spoke up, slightly startling Patton, who had been waving at Drew until he walked out of sight. “You’re not dating them, you lied?”

“I didn’t lie!” Patton defended, moving back towards the broom as they spoke, once more careful to avoid the glass as they stepped. “I’m not dating him! Or Remy!”

“Oh, yeah, because calling each other petnames and trading compliments til you’re both blushing and not wanting to let go of each other and looking at each other like you’re the other’s world is really just ‘best friend’ behaviour,” Virgil said, voice thick with sarcasm.

“We’ve lived in the same apartment for months, Virgil, we’re close!” Patton said as they went back to sweeping. “That doesn’t make us partners.”

Virgil let out a breath. “I know, Pat, but you really should see the way you two were looking at each other. It sure as hell wasn’t plain-ol’ friendly.”

“Language.”

“Stop dodging the point.”

Patton stopped their work, turning to look at Virgil as they rested their chin on the broom handle. “I don’t know what point you think I’m dodging, kiddo. Dee- and Remy- are my friends. They’re dating each other, but I’m not dating them. It’s not that hard to understand.”

Virgil didn’t respond to that at first, instead just blinking slowly at Patton a few times. “I’m starting to understand why Roman was in such a mood,” he finally said as he pushed himself away from the shelves. “If Remy’s half as oblivious as you are, I’d be complaining too.”

“Oblivious about what?” Patton asked, confused. “They know who they’re dating and who they’re not.”

Virgil didn’t answer, instead just chuckling and shaking his head. “I should get back before Kevin decides to be less lenient about my wandering time. See you later, pine-on.”

“Bye, Virge!” Patton said cheerily. “And good pun!”

Virgil responded with a half salute behind his head as he wandered off. Patton watched him off as they resumed their sweeping, focusing on their work and not any of the interactions that had just occurred. Say what he would, Virgil was wrong- Patton’s relationship with Drew and Remy was strictly platonic, and they had no plans to mess with what the three of them did have (an amazing friendship) anytime soon.

~~

Drew dropped his bag before he collapsed against the wall, sliding down it halfway as he let out a huff. Though the day had been no longer than any other, the sun had been much more annoying than usual, and he was ready to be home and surrounded by not only air conditioning but also people he could stand. Absentmindedly he rubbed at the remains of make-up on his face, the only part of his costume he was still in since having changed out at the end of his shift.

“Are you suffering from heatstroke, or just bored?”

Drew looked up, finding Emile in front of him, smiling in amusement.

“A bit of both,” Drew answered truthfully. “Forgot my water bottle at home, though Pat had grabbed it for me at least. But neither their shift nor Remy’s is over for at least another fifteen minutes, so…”

“So I’m just someone to distract you until one of your partners can take over?” Emile asked, teasing.

“My partners in crimes, you mean?” Drew said. “Because I’ve told you before, Em, I really shouldn’t be talking about them here- you’re going to ruin our plan to invade ‘Beauty’s palace and get the treasure.”

“And what treasures are you going to find in there?”

“Hopefully, the key to a full hundred years of rest,” Drew told them before adding, “And gold. Mostly going for the gold.”

“Mhmm.” Emile hummed. “Happy to hear you’ve got your future set. Your criminal enterprises sound like they’re going to go over very smoothly. Now, as to your actual partners…”

“Do you think I’m cheating on my current criminal partners?” Drew asked, sounding offended. “With whom, another team? Emile, I thought you knew me better than that.”

“I think we both know I’m referring to your romantic partners.”

“Ah, yes.” Drew crossed his arms and leaned further back against the wall. “You’re referring to my roommates, who somewhere along the line you got confused as also being my romantic partners. They’re not very good at crime, you know.”

Emile grinned. “Not even good at stealing your heart?”

Drew just waved his hand dismissively. “Patton steals the heart of everyone they meet. Remy is not subtle at all when they go for the steal. Neither of them would make it a day in the world of crime.”

“But you admit that they’ve stolen your heart.”

“I admit they steal everybody’s heart.”

“But not like they’ve stolen yourssssss.”

Drew sighed, pulling his water bottle out of his bag and taking a sip of the water while he waited for Emile to stop. “Don’t be like Virgil and Roman, Emile. You’ve been given the precious gift of actually having a brain cell. Don’t waste it.”

“You can say whatever you want, Drew, but that doesn’t change the truth, even if you’d like to pretend it would,” Emile replied calmly, sounding smug. “We’ve all seen the way you three look at each other. You can’t lie your way out of love truer than that of Tiana, Naveen, and Charlotte’s.”

“Don’t have to lie to tell the truth,” Drew responded, returning his water bottle to its place in his bag. Before Emile could rebuke his words, the door that led outside of the first aid station opened, and two people walked in.

“Excuse me,” Emile said politely to Drew before they headed towards the people. After a brief moment of conversation, Emile walked further into the building with one of them while the other came over towards Drew.

Drew smiled when the newcomer was close enough for him to identify. “Hello, darling.”

Remy returned his smile, leaning against the wall and facing Drew. Remy was clearly off-shift, both costume and nametag removed, and was now sporting a sea-green bracelet. “Good evening, charming. Miss me?”

“Constantly,” Drew answered effortlessly. “I assume the same to be true of you?”

“I miss you every second you’re not in my presence more than the moon misses the sun,” Remy answered, maintaining veir composure for a moment before veir expression broke and ve laughed. “Like that one? I heard someone in the lobby tell it to their husband.”

“It is unbearably cheesy,” Drew told ver. “Though I’m sure also very sweet, if you mean it.”

“Good thing I mean it then,” Remy said jokingly. “People suck. I got yelled at twice today. I missed you and your not-yellingness.”

“Is that all you missed about me?” Drew asked, smile turning sly. “Because I know I miss you for more than just your sometimes-not-annoyingness…”

“Oh really?” Remy asked, shifting so that ve was facing Drew even more. “Well, I miss you for your not-yellingness, and for your looks- scar most certainly included, hun, it makes you look roguish- and for your mind, and your charisma, and, of course, your snark.”

    “You flatter me.”

    “Look in a mirror, sugar, you make it easy,” Remy told him. “Now I’m dying to know why you missed me.”

    “Oh, how could I not?” Drew asked rhetorically. “There’s your charm, as sarcastic as it may be, your humor, your refusal to stand down against idiots, and your sense of fashion- though I must confess, I consider it a sin to hide such dazzling eyes.”

    “Compliment my charm when you’re the real charmer ‘round here- I see how it is,” Remy said playfully, smiling.

    Drew returned the smile. “I’m just telling the truth.”

    “Mhmm,” Remy hummed non-committedly, though veir smile didn’t drop. Ve reached forward, brushing some of Drew’s hair behind his ear before moving to run veir fingers through it. Drew leaned his head closer, allowing ver easier access to his hair as ve pulled it over just one of his shoulders. “Your hair’s a mess.”

    “It’s been in a bun all day.” Drew explained, closing his eyes and focusing on the soft and calming feel of Remy brushing through his hair, occasionally scratching at his scalp. “It got tangled.”

    “Too lazy to fix that problem yourself, sweetheart?”

    “I like it better when you do,” Drew admitted.

    Remy chuckled as ve continued, veir attention turning more towards gentle touches against Drew’s skin as ve worked. “I should braid your hair tonight. Might not tangle as quickly that way.”

    “If we do that, we’ll need to stop at the store on the way home,” Drew said. “Our beloved sunbeam will want to put flowers in my hair, and I do not believe we have any at home.”

    “We already needed to stop for some dinner fixin’s anyways,” Remy told him. “We’ll just add ‘flowers prettier than your face’ to the list, though I’m afraid if we go looking for those we’ll never find them.”

    Before Drew could return the compliment, the sound of approaching steps stopped him. He opened his eyes just enough to see that they belonged to Emile, who was smiling broadly and just a touch satisfiedly at them, before he closed his eyes once more.

    “Hey there, babe,” Remy greeted. “How you?”

    “I’m peachy keen!” Emile answered enthusiastically. “Yourself?”

    Drew didn’t need to see Remy’s face to know that ve was smirking. “I’ve got the prettiest man in the world melting into my touch, so I’d say I’m doing pretty swell.”

    “Bold words from the most gorgeous being to ever grace this planet’s surface,” Drew countered, opening his eyes so he could return Remy’s smirk. “And I’m not ‘melting into your touch,’ I’m giving you easier access to the hair you so wish to tame.”

    “Whatever you say, sugar.” Remy responded casually, right before ve ran veir hand through his hair again, stopping halfway through to press veir fingers against the base of his neck, rubbing just the slightest of circles into his skin, which was cheating, because ve knew perfectly well that was one of his weak points. The motion alone had Drew leaning closer towards Remy, letting out a small sigh that morphed into a huff halfway through.

    “That’s cheating,” Drew said, trying to sound accusing but only succeeding in sounding tired and slightly whiny.

    Remy laughed. “Don’t care, darling, not even a little.”

    Drew hissed at ver, only earning himself another laugh.

    “Well you two certainly seem happy,” Emile pointed out, the slightest hint of trickery in their tone.

    “I’d like to think we are, yes,” Remy said.

    “Not that it’s surprising,” Emile continued, failing to sound very innocent. “I’m sure anyone’d be happy spending time with one of their partners.”

    “I’m sure they would,” Remy said neutrally. “Not sure what that has to do with anything right now-”

    “They’re talking about my partners in crime.” Drew interrupted. “I told them earlier about my plan to raid Sleeping Beauty’s class and steal her secrets to a hundred years of sleep.”

    “I see. Well I do hope you plan on sharing those secrets because goodness knows I could do with a good century of napping.”

    “Goodness and me,” Drew agreed, reaching forward and pushing Remy’s sunglasses up a bit, frowning at how dark the bags under veir eyes were. “Why else would I steal the secrets if not for you?”

    “Awwww, you care,” Remy cooed, tone a mix of goodheartedly mocking and sincere. “And what do you mean, ‘goodness and me’? Hun, you are goodness.”

    “You’re sweet, but we both know that’s Pat.”

    “I don’t see why it can’t be both of you.”

    “This is getting ridiculous!” 

Drew and Remy turned towards Emile at their outburst, Remy tilting veir head to the side in confusion while Drew asked,

    “What is?”

    Emile waved their hands at the roommates. “You two! You three! This!”

    Remy and Drew glanced at each other before looking back at Emile. “This?” Remy asked.

    “You’re so oblivious it puts the Scooby Gang’s obliviousness to Shaggy’s godhood to shame!” Emile said, thoroughly exasperated.

    “I’m sorry what was that-”

    “I mean, look at you two!” Emile said, gesturing at where Remy’s hand was still running through Drew’s hair. “All you do is compliment each other and worry over each other and know exactly what to do to make the other melt into your touch!”

Drew shrugged. “So? We’re friends.”

“And we’ve lived together for months,” Remy added. “Kinda hard to not pick up stuff about each other.” 

“This moved past friendship weeks ago,” Emile told them, crossing their arms. “You can pretend to be sly, but you aren’t.”

“We’re not pretending anything,” Drew replied, raising an eyebrow. “Are you alright, Em? No offense, you seem a little... agitated over this.”

Emile squinted at them. “You’d be agitated if you were me.”

“Huh. Vaguely ominous,” Remy commented idly, unperturbed by the conversation. “You should really talk to Roman though. He’s been having the same misconceptions about me and my roommates’ relationship. I’m sure you two lovelies can find the truth if you talk it out.”

“We’ve already found the truth,” Emile said confidently.

“If you say so,” Remy responded, reaching into veir pocket as ve spoke, pulling out veir phone and checking the time. “Patton’s shift should be over in a couple of minutes. Wanna go greet them?”

“The only sunshine I always want to see,” Drew answered. “Don’t tell them we’re going to braid my hair just yet, though, alright? I’d prefer to surprise them.”

Remy grinned. “Of course, hun.”

Drew returned the grin before shifting over so that he could pick his bag up, ignoring Remy’s protest at his hair moving out of playing-with range. “You do know that going to Patton requires moving, right?”

“I do, but that doesn’t mean I have to be happy about it.”

Drew chuckled as he straightened up, slinging his bag over his shoulder. “You can play more with my hair when we get home, starlight, don’t worry. Come on, let’s go get Pat.”

Remy pouted, but ve still lifted veir arm and allowed Drew to slot himself in against veir side as if it was the most normal thing in the world. Remy’s arm wrapped around the top of Drew’s shoulders, holding him close as they headed towards the doors.

“Have a goodnight, Em,” Drew called over his shoulder right before they left, door lightly thudding as it fell shut behind them.

Emile let out a little huff. “Night-night lovebirds,” they said, even though they knew the couple in question couldn’t hear them. They waited a moment after they left before pulling out their phone, flicking to the group chat they, Roman, and Virgil had lovingly nicknamed ‘operation Get These Gays Together’ (originally known as ‘operation if they don’t get together I’m going to shoot them and then myself’ when Virgil named it) and sending a quick but vital text.

Usually, Emile preferred the passive route. They preferred to push people towards the solution, help them subtly, let them figure it out for themselves with only a bit of their help.

But that method was driving Emile (and Roman and Virgil) insane. They had tried the easy, passive way.

It was time to be aggressive.

~~

The first thing Remy registered upon waking up was that they’d really rather not. The little bit of sun that made its way through their half-open eyelids was already too much and they were almost a hundred percent certain they still needed another five hours of sleep to be anything close to well-rested.

Therefore, immediately after opening their eyes, they shut them once more, rolling over and pushing their face into the surface beneath them to try and drown out all possible light. While this did solve the immediate problem of ‘too much light,’ it presented a new one for them to deal with- the fact that something close to him was warm and moving.

The discrepancy between where they remembered falling asleep last night- on the couch, alone- and where they must be now- somewhere big enough for more than one person to be sleeping, and apparently not alone anymore- was enough to convince Remy to open their eyes again. It was easier if only for the fact that the sun was now behind them, illuminating the sight in front of Remy instead of blinding them.

Remy was unsurprised to find the warm moving ‘thing’ was, in fact, their roommates- Drew curled up against Patton’s back, arms wrapped around their chest, one of Patton’s hands resting on top of Drew’s and their other sprawled out across the bed, almost touching Remy.

The sight made Remy smile. They reached out to lay one of their hands over Patton’s outstretched one, gently rubbing circles and nonsense patterns into their palm while they waited for them to wake up. While they would like to figure out how they ended up in bed instead of on the couch, and while they knew all three of them would eventually have to get up for work, they didn’t see the point in rushing anything. If they were already late for work, hurrying now wouldn’t change that, and Remy had decided long ago that there were few things in the world that mattered to them more than seeing both Drew and Patton rested, relaxed, and happy.

Slowly but surely, Patton began to wake up, shifting around in Drew’s grasp for a moment before their eyes fluttered open and they saw Remy. Upon seeing them, Patton smiled a sleepy but fond smile.

“Good morning, sweetie,” Patton greeted them, yawning partway through their sentence. They twisted their hand a bit so that they could hold Remy’s, beginning to rub circles into the back of Remy’s hand. “You look nice.”

Remy found it doubtful that they, in all their sweatpants, ratty t-shirt, and disheveled hair glory, were looking like anything more than a mess, but they were loath to reject any compliment that came from Patton.

“You look just as cute as always,” they returned, smile growing at Patton’s small giggle at their response. “I am, however, a little curious as to why I’m seeing your beauty right now.”

Patton’s brow furrowed in confusion for a moment before smoothing out as they realized what Remy was asking. “You fell asleep on the couch last night, right?”

“Last I recall, yes, and I’m sorry to say I don’t remember coming to… wherever this is.”

“It’s my room,” Patton answered. “I was cold, and I had pinky-promised Dee we could cuddle. We were goin’ to ask you to join, but you fell asleep while we were putting away the lasagna and we decided we didn’t want to risk waking you to move you. You’re such a light sleeper… and Dee said you hadn’t been sleeping as much recently.”

As Patton finished speaking, they reached out to brush a thumb underneath one of Remy’s eyes, as if they could erase the bags that were there.

Remy reached up with their free hand to catch Patton’s, gently pulling it away from their face and intertwining their fingers instead. “Don’t worry about me, sunshine, I’m fine. Just a few more sleepless nights than usual.”

Patton hummed, clearly not satisfied, but they didn’t say anymore on the topic. “I know I didn’t bring you in here,” they said instead, looking forlornly at the space roughly a foot long between them and Remy. “I wouldn’t have brought you in here for cuddles and then not cuddled you,” Patton explained, sounding melancholy.

In an attempt to at least partially console them, Remy scooted closer to Patton, narrowing the gap to only a few inches. They kept themself from moving all the way against them only because they knew exactly what would happen, knew Patton’s arms would wrap around them and hold them close, trapping them in the cuddle pile they’d have no will nor want to escape, and, as nice as it sounded to let reality drift away as they sank back into sleep so close to their two favorite people in the world, Remy knew they couldn’t, knew they had to be at least a little bit responsible and wake up and go to work and do more than just waste the day away holding each other.

Though damn if that wasn’t a tempting thought.

“So does that mean Dee moved me?” Remy asked.

“He must’ve,” Patton answered before frowning. “Though I don’t ever remember him getting up… here, I’ll just ask him.”

Patton turned over slightly, letting go of one of Remy’s hands so that they could gently shake Drew’s shoulder. “Dee? Dee, honey, do you think you could wake up for me? Please?”

In response, Drew half-groaned, half-yawned, and shifted so that his head was pressed into the crook of Patton’s neck, effectively hiding him from both his roommates and the sun. Patton giggled quietly at his action before they titled their head around and pressed a slightly awkward kiss to the top of Drew’s head. “I know you don’t want to, love, but you’ve gotta get up.”

Drew didn’t respond for a moment, but eventually he sighed, lazily lifting his head away from Patton’s shoulder. He returned Patton’s kiss atop their head before shifting his attention to Remy, blinking blearily as he focused on the third person in the bed.

“Mornin’ darling dearest Dee,” Remy greeted. “Sleep well?”

“Mhmm,” Drew hummed noncommittally, but from the way his arms tightened around Patton, holding them closer, Remy could guess he had slept very well curled up with Patton. “What’re you doin’ here?” he slurred, awake enough to realize Remy should still be out on the couch if not awake enough to speak properly.

“We were kinda hoping you could answer that one, hun,” Remy said. “Because I don’t remember coming in here, and Patton doesn’t remember moving me.”

Drew frowned. “I didn’t move you. Wanted you to sleep.”

“So I’ve heard,” Remy commented, now frowning themself. “So. If none of us put me in the bed, and none of us have any sleep walking and/or possession problems we haven’t told the others about…”

“How did you end up here?” Patton finished for them, completing the trifecta of frowns.

The unanswered question finally convinced Remy to sit up, squinting as they looked around the room for some explanation. It did appear to be Patton’s room, from the animal posters hung on every wall to the rainbow they had painted onto the light switch cover with nail polish, so it was unlikely they had all been kidnapped, which Remy was going to consider a good thing. Something did stand out to Remy, however.

“Hey, Pat, you haven’t put any random notes on your door recently, have you?”

Patton shook their head in confusion. “No. Why do you ask?”

Remy didn’t answer them immediately, instead sliding out of the bed and heading towards the door. Tapped to it was a folded note, ‘to the oblivious gays’ scrawled on the front of it. Remy pulled it off the door, unfolding it and quickly scanning the message inside. When they finished, they groaned.

“I’m disowning all of our friends.” Remy said, tossing the note to the side in annoyance as they grabbed the door handle, trying (and failing) to turn it. They groaned again. “Fuck.”

“Language.” Patton said automatically as Drew pushed their glasses onto their face for them, Patton blinking a few times as they stopped needing to squint at everything. “What is it?”

Remy ran a hand through their hair as they moved to the only window in the room, attempting to open it for a moment before deeming it a lost cause. They sighed and turned back towards the bed. “We’ve been locked in.”

This got both Patton and Drew to sit up, both looking more awake as they frowned at them. “What do you mean, we’ve been locked in?”

“Exactly what I said,” Remy replied, leaning back against the wall behind them. “Our most lovely friends have locked us all in a room together and apparently won’t let us out until we ‘confess’ or some bullsh- bullcrap, because this is 2012 and we’re a story on fanfic-dot-net.”

“Confess?” Patton repeated before realization dawned on their face. “Oh. I- Virgil was talking about that yesterday, but I didn’t think he actually- well I didn’t think he really meant anything by it.”

“Same with Emile,” Drew said. “They talk about it so often I just figured it was some sort of joke for them.”

“Roman was talking about it too,” Remy added unhappily. “He pointedly ignored all my advances as well, which was rude. I like to think my distractions are at least worth one returned flirt.”

A moment of silence stretched out between them before Drew sighed and said, “So they did this, huh.”

“That’s why I’m disowning them, yeah,” Remy informed him. “Also on the list of disownments is my cousin, because apparently he’s the one who gave them the key they used to break in here and set this whole mess up.”

“Logan’s not usually the type to go for this sort of thing,” Drew pointed out.

“He isn’t, but I think he’s still annoyed about that one time I stole all his Crofter’s.” Remy said. “Though now he’s indirectly keeping me from my coffee, so who’s the real monster here?”

“At least you’ve got us,” Drew offered.

Remy smiled at that, annoyed expression softening. “Yeah, that I do,” they agreed, pushing off of the wall and padding back over to the bed, joining the semi-circle and leaning against Patton’s side. Drew wrapped an arm around both Patton’s and Remy’s backs as soon as they were settled, holding the three of them together.

“So now what?” Patton asked after a moment of comfortable silence. “Should we call in to work sick?”

“The note said they’d cover it,” Remy answered with a scoff. “No clue how they plan to do that, but they’ve made it into a them-problem.”

“And when are they going to let us out?” Drew followed up. “Because we’re going to have to eat soon.”

“I have a bag of emergency cookies in the closet, if worse comes to worst,” Patton added.

“Of course you do,” Drew said, though he sounded only fond.

“They said they’ll swing by around lunch to free us and, I quote, ‘congratulate us on the proposals,’” Remy laughed. “Roman’s words, if you couldn’t guess.”

Drew chuckled. “And if we try to break out of our makeshift prison?”

“They’ve stolen our phones and tapped them to the door, so if we break it down, we risk breaking our phones.” Remy explained. “Logan also reminded us that glass is sharp and dangerous when broken so we shouldn’t even think about shattering the window.”

“So no breaking out,” Drew summed up. “Guess we really are stuck here ‘til they return.”

“Yep,” Remy agreed. They turned their head so that they could plant a kiss against the side of Patton’s head. “At least I’m stuck with y’all. Better be trapped with angels than free with demons.” Remy smiled when Patton blushed a shade of red that Remy thought just made them look even prettier.

“Well someone’s getting awfully poetic,” Drew quipped, though he was also blushing.

“It’s what happens when I don’t have my coffee,” Remy said offhandedly. “Deal with it.”

“Only if you accept that you yourself are also an angel.”

“Oh, rude, babe, real rude to ‘u-too’ my own compliment back at me.”

“If you want to make this easier on yourself, just accept it, my dear,” Drew advised. “I can wax just as poetic as you can, and will if I think I must.”

Remy sighed, holding out the sound for a moment before they folded. “Fiiiine, I’m an angel.” They leaned around Patton, getting close enough that they could press a kiss to Drew’s forehead. “But you’re still the prettier one.”

Drew gasped dramatically at that, but before he could respond, Patton sighed, sounding fond and vaguely melancholy. Remy pulled back from Drew just enough to look at Patton.

“Aw, our sunshine feeling left out?” Remy asked teasingly, kissing Patton’s forehead as well and wrapping their arms around Patton’s waist. “Don’t worry sweetheart, you’re just as pretty as Dee.”

“Oh, no, it’s not that, I promise!” Patton reassured them with a laugh. “You two are just so cute together, that’s all.”

“We’re all cute together,” Remy said, pressing a quick peck of a kiss to Patton’s chin. “Helps that we’re all cute.”

Patton laughed again. “No, I mean- together-together, you know? You’re a good couple.”

Remy and Drew reacted to that, both glancing at each other in confusion and uncertainty. “Couple as in two people, or…?” Drew asked.

Patton raised an eyebrow, now looking confused themself. “I mean, I guess that too, but I mean- well, I mean romantically.”

Another uncertain glance between the supposed ‘couple.’ Remy laughed awkwardly. “Hate to break it to ya, hun, but I think I’d know if I was dating such a cutie.”

“Same here,” Dee echoed.

“Oh. Oh!” Patton said, blushing red now in embarrassment. “I’m so sorry, you just- the way you act together, I- you’re so comfortable together-”

“We’re all comfortable together,” Drew pointed out, albeit quieter than he had been speaking a moment ago.

“I know, you just- I- oh, I’m so sorry!” Patton repeated, hiding their face in Drew’s shoulder. “I feel so silly,” they added, their voice now muffled.

Remy chuckled, reaching forward to card their fingers through Patton’s hair. They scooted a little closer to them as they scratched at their scalp as well. “Don’t worry about it, honey-love. Everybody makes mistakes.”

“No, it’s not that, I just…” Patton cut themself off before actually getting to their point, shaking their head a bit before they pressed their face even further into Drew’s shoulder.

“Oh, come now, beloved,” Drew coaxed, rolling his shoulders and trying to convince Patton to lift their head. “You don’t have to hide anything from us, much less your beautiful face or heavenly voice.”

“It’s silly,” Patton whined, just loud enough to be understood. Remy laughed gently, brushing their hair to the side so they could kiss the back of their neck.

“That’s okay. We’re not going to make fun of you or anything,” Remy assured them.

Drew leaned over and kissed the top of Patton’s head, pulling back only a little. “What’d you say, love? Can I see those pretty, pretty eyes?”

It took another moment of Remy playing with their hair and Drew sweet talking Patton before they were convinced, slowly lifting their head up just enough so that Drew could see their eyes. Drew smiled at them. “There you go. Isn’t this nicer?”

A little smile slipped onto Patton’s face. “Your eyes are much, much more gorgeous than the fabric of your shirt, yes.”

“I should hope so,” Drew replied, leaning his forehead against Patton’s. “Now, I’m sure both me and our lovely moonbeam are very curious as to what’s got you trying to hide from us.”

“Yeah, sugar, you’re not usually like this,” Remy added, though they didn’t sound worried, just sweet. “What’s got you feeling so silly and shy?”

Patton rested their cheek on Drew’s shoulder, looking between their roommates. “Promise you won’t hate me?”

“We could never,” Drew and Remy said at the same time.

Patton nodded, took a breath, squirmed a little in place, and finally said, “Y’know how I’ve never really said that you guys are together, even if I had no reason not to say it?”

“Uh… yes?” Remy answered, sounding slightly baffled by the question.

“Yeah, well… there was a reason for that.”

“...Okay?” Drew said, tone matching Remy’s.

“It’s because I didn’t really want to accept the fact that you two were together.”

Twin silence from Drew and Remy. Patton let out a little sigh, sounding more amused than annoyed.

“I didn’t like acknowledging the fact that you were both taken,” A pause to give their roommates a chance to finish for them; when neither of them spoke, Patton continued, “because I didn’t want to acknowledge the fact that you were both taken but neither of you were taken with me.”

Another pause, another stretch of silence as Drew and Remy each processed Patton’s words, the confessor themself once more hiding against Drew’s shoulder. Then- dawning understanding.

“Oh,” Remy said first, looking at Drew with wide eyes. “Oh. Patton, I-”

“It’s really okay if neither of you feel the same, really, I don’t even expect you too, we’re friends, and that’s what we’ve always said we were and always been, and that doesn’t need to change I just-” Patton laughed, slightly breathless as they tried to fit everything they wanted to say in only the space of a few seconds, “I just feel silly that I never even bothered to tell you guys because I thought you were dating, that’s all.”

It was quiet as Drew and Remy processed that, Drew looking at the bed as he thought while Remy looked off at the wall, clearly lost in their thoughts. It only took a moment for them to sort them, however.

“Hey, Patton?” Remy said, getting Patton to lift their head once more from Drew’s shoulder and look at them, Patton’s expression a mix of pained and hopeful. Remy reached forwards, cupping one of Patton’s cheeks with one of their hands, smiling a little stupidly as they did so. “Wanna hear a silly little secret of my own?”

Patton's eyes widened, suggesting that they knew exactly what the secret was, but they still said, in a quiet, almost awed voice, “What?”

Remy giggled, just a little, reaching out with their other hand as well and holding Patton’s face in both their hands as they answered, “I have a crush on both my roommates too,” they said in a mock-whisper, as if they were at a sleepover and they were all twelve. “I never told them because I thought they weren’t interested in me like that, but recently I’m starting to think I might be wro-”

Remy’s confession was cut off by Patton letting out a little squeal of excitement, pushing themself forward so that they could wrap their arms around Remy’s midsection, knocking them over and ending up with them both sprawled across the bed. Remy had just barely recovered from the action when Patton started peppering kisses across their face, going over their forehead and both their cheeks before they ended with a kiss on their lips, one that was brief but still sweet and loving and warm and undeniably Patton.

“You jerk.” Patton said, though there wasn’t a hint of heat in their tone as they laughed. “Why didn’t you tell me this three months ago?!”

“I had this whole friendship thing going on that I didn’t want to ruin!” Remy defended with a laugh of their own. “Though, if I had known that’d be your reaction, I’d have gone off and ruined our friendship long ago, sweetness.”

Patton’s smile broke into a grin and they kissed the tip of Remy’s nose, eliciting a quick but joyful giggle from them. “You’re forgiven for your slowness in telling me for how utterly perfect you are.”

“Why thank you, angel,” Remy said, pushing themself up just enough to give Patton a fast nose kiss as well. “But don’t you think we’re missing something- or, better put, someone- from this ‘perfect’?”

Patton’s eyes widened at the reminder. “Oh my gosh, you’re right!” they said before turning around to look at Drew. He was still sitting in the same spot he had been. It was clear he had been watching Patton and Remy, but upon them turning their attention to him, he seemed to suddenly find the entire rest of the room much more interesting to look at.

“Dee?” Patton said, forcing the aforementioned to turn his attention back to them or risk being rude to one of the people he was currently locked in a room with.

“Yes?” Drew asked, trying to sound aloof and neutral. He failed horribly, however, his voice coming out as something closer to mock-formal.

“Me and Remy have both made our confessions… do you have one of your own?” Patton asked, once more sounding hesitant.

When Drew didn’t respond instantly, Remy rushed to add, “It’s completely alright if you don’t, of course. No pressure whatsoever, we can still be friends, it’s just- well, not to sound like the people who locked us up in here in the first place, but I kinda feel like that’s not really what we should be.”

“I-” Drew started before cutting himself off, looking down as he fiddled with the hem of his shirt. “I do love you guys, really; I mean, who couldn’t after living with you for so long, you’re too incredible not to love, but… I don’t know how I love you.”

“...Care to elaborate?” Remy pushed after a minute stretched in silence.

Drew shifted in place. “I guess… we’ve spent our entire friendship doing everything a couple might do- spending time together, learning each other’s favorite things, getting stupidly domestic, literally sleeping together, cuddling, sharing little kisses, and I just… don’t know if I love you romantically or not.”

“Alright,” Patton said slowly, nodding their head before frowning. “I’m… not sure how to figure that out.”

“Me neither,” Remy admitted. “There must be something romantic we haven’t done with you, right?

Drew shrugged. “I don’t know. We’ve covered all of the bases, as far as I can tell. No wonder everyone thought we were dating…”

“Not all of them,” Patton said, pulling Drew out of his barely started musings. They smiled at him, softly and sweetly and just a bit shyly. “Dee?”

“...Yes?”

“Do you want to kiss us?”

“Kiss you- I already have kissed you, what do you…” Drew cut himself off as he realized what Patton meant, his cheeks quickly turning a crimson red.

Remy chuckled as they sat up, Patton shifting a bit to their side so that they could properly sit up. “Hate to put words in your mouth, sweetheart, but I’mma guess that means yes?”

“I… yeah, yeah it does,” Drew conceded, chuckling a little awkwardly. “That sounded awfully charming.”

“Everything you say is charming when you’re a charmer,” Patton responded, and Drew’s cheeks turned a shade darker as the awkwardness in his expression relaxed into something more akin to soft adoration.

Patton patted the bed directly in front of them and Remy. “Come over here, lovely.”

Drew did so willingly, pulling himself over so that he was once more part of the group. Patton smiled tenderly at him as he settled himself before reaching out and gently taking his face in their hands.

“Stop me if you need to, okay?” Patton said. Drew half-laughed, half-scoffed.

“I doubt I’ll want you to stop, much less need you to,” he told them, and Patton smiled wider at him before leaning in, their careful and loving hold on Drew’s face holding him still until their lips were connected.

The kiss was longer than Patton and Remy’s had been, more planned, but it was still just as welcoming and comfortable, as if this wasn’t their first kiss but instead their hundredth; somehow both oddly familiar and excitingly new.

Without even realizing it, Drew found himself leaning it, placing his hands on Patton’s waist to hold steady as he did so, more than happy to drown in the kiss as much as he could.

Patton pulled away when he was reaching the edge of breathlessness, smiling brightly at Drew even as they moved back, still holding his face. “How was that?”

“I love you,” Drew said as an answer, letting out a laugh in the form of a huff as he went on, “Oh, god be damned, Patton, I love you.”

“Language,” Patton chided lightly, though they both knew it meant nothing.

“Hey now,” Remy spoke up, drawing Drew and Patton’s attention. They were pouting, though amusement flashed in their eyes. “I’m feeling a little forgotten over here.”

“Forget you?” Drew asked, normally suave tone now simply breathless and incredulous. “I could never.”

“Then prove it,” Remy demanded, reaching out and making grabby hands at Drew despite the fact that he was barely two feet from them. Drew didn’t mind it, however, simply laughing at the display of affection. He gently took Patton’s hands off his cheeks, kissing the back of both of them (to the delight of Patton) before releasing them and closing the small gap between him and Remy.

“There you are,” Remy said, as if Drew had been hiding somewhere far off and not simply kissing their partner (their partner, not just his partner but Remy’s too) instead of Remy. “Do I get kisses now?”

Drew laughed. “Yes,” he said, not bothering to drag the moment out as he reached forwards, cupping one of Remy’s cheeks in his hand and pulling them closer. “You get kisses now.”

He kept to his promise as he kissed Remy, not holding it out for one long kiss like he and Patton had done but instead kissing them over and over and over again, quick little kisses that lasted seconds but still meant worlds to the both of them, that were still caring and inviting and loving even if they were brief. It worked better that way, Drew decided, especially when Remy evidently grew bored of just kissing his lips and moved on to covering the rest of his face with kisses instead.

“I’m starting to think I really am a jerk for not confessing anything sooner,” Remy said when they had, apparently, deemed Drew’s face properly kissed, now pulled back so that they could look Drew in the eyes as they grinned lopsidedly. “I’ve been severely neglecting giving you- and Patton- all the kisses you two deserve.”

“Not that that ever stopped you when we were friends,” Patton pointed out, leaning against Remy’s side and reaching out to hold one of Drew’s hands as well.

“That’s because even then I knew I was making a mistake,” Remy said, happily taking advantage of the fact that Patton was once more close to them to kiss their forehead.

“I just can’t believe the people who locked us up had it right,” Drew said, squeezing Patton’s hand as the hand he had been using to cup Remy’s cheek moved to hold one of Remy’s hands. “We really have been horribly oblivious, huh?”

Remy laughed. “I’d say that’s pretty accurate, yeah,” they agreed before smiling mischievously. “We’re not going to let them know that though, right?”

“Oh, goodness, of course not,” Drew responded. “Otherwise they might start thinking locking people up will always work, or, even worse, they might get an ego boost.”

“I think Roman will explode if that happens- his ego’s already big enough as is,” Patton added. Drew’s and Remy’s attention immediately turned to them, both looking shocked, to which Patton defended, “What? I can be petty towards our friends too!”

Drew chuckled as he quickly kissed Patton’s cheek. “That you can, dearheart, that you can.”

“It’s not like you’re wrong either,” Remy pointed out. “Really, letting Roman know this planned work might kill him. We’re just going to have to pretend it didn’t, for his sake.”

Patton and Drew both nodded as solemnly as they could given the circumstances. “I vote that we tell them this experience has really brought us closer together in our friendship instead,” Drew offered. “That way we can still be horribly obnoxious-” Drew paused to peck quick kisses to each of his partners’ noses to prove his point before continuing “-and also keep Roman and his ego safe.”

“A perfect plan,” Patton agreed. “Though… what do we do if they catch us calling each other partners?”

“We tell them how we decided we really felt like ‘friends’ no longer properly described how close our friendship was, so we decided to start using partners,” Remy answered immediately with a grin. “Really, we can turn anything into just another extent of our ‘friendship’ is we try hard enough. The real question is for how long do we do that? When do we give them their satisfaction?”

Drew hummed in thought for a moment before he said, a wicked smile racing his face as he spoke, “I’d say we’ll have to wait them out at least until we get married. We can tell them it’s for tax benefits.”

“We’re going to get married?!” Patton exclaimed, eyes shining at the thought.

“Well, I mean-” Drew floundered for a moment, clearly having gotten so caught up in how to best taunt their friends that he hadn’t even considered the implications of what he had said “-we’ve only just got together, but- if this lasts and we don’t regret anything, well-”

“We’re going to get married!” Patton repeated, this time with no question in their tone, tugging Drew closer to themself and pulling Remy closer as well so that they were all squished against each other. “We’re going to get married and we’re going to move out and find a better apartment with one huge bed- oh, or we could get a house with one big bed, and we’re going to adopt a dog- no, two dogs- no, ten dogs!- and-”

Drew gently stopped Patton’s rant by kissing them until they were breathless, resting his forehead against theirs when he finished. “And we’ll drive our friends absolutely insane with what a lovely life we’ll be living,” he added softly.

Remy moved to press their forehead against both of their partners’. “And we’ll be in love forever,” they added, which was an extraordinarily cheesy thing to say, but in the moment, it also felt like the right thing to say.

In fact, pressed against the two most important people in the world to them, still feeling giddy at everything that had happened in the span of barely fifteen minutes, Remy felt as if, for the first time in a long time, absolutely everything was just as it should be.

They were looking forward to getting used to that feeling.

[iwillsithereandtrytocontribute]

Lost in the Wrong Story

I Knew You

Masterlist Last Next Ao3

A/N: A mini series collaboration of Roman angst between @hitmewiththatfanart33 and I. Feel free to ask either of us to be tagged. The next part will be posted to her blog!

Chapter Summary: Roman’s absence is affecting Patton a lot more than he lets on, and given the opportunity, he goes after him alone. Roman makes it clear he’s there to stay.

     Janus blinked owlishly as the early morning sunlight flooded into the room. That was strange. His room didn’t get sun. It took him a moment to realize where he was, but Patton’s arm around his torso quickly gave it away to his still-exhausted brain, as did the thousands of pictures lining the walls. Patton pulled Janus in tighter, wrapping him in his warm embrace until he was flush against his back, and oh how Janus longed to shut his eyes and melt into him. After the night he’d had, Janus could sleep for hours more. He shook his head slightly with the knowledge he couldn’t, and he forced his eyes to stay open, however heavy their lids were. Unfortunately, being awake meant that everything was starting to come back to him. 

     His heart ached, wishing Roman could be here with them. Janus must have moved slightly because Patton opened his eyes and removed his arm from around him to reach for his glasses. Janus sat up with a quiet groan, almost instantly missing Patton’s warmth, and he shivered as a chill ran over him.  

      “Morning, Honey-Dee,” Patton yawned. It was a huge one that merited a small, cute head shake afterwards. 

      “Good morning, my love,” Janus hummed, (voice true to his favorite pet name), barely holding in a matching yawn. Patton giggled and cupped his cheek to give him a quick morning kiss as well as nuzzle their noses together. Logan knocked on the door frame— when had he gotten there?— effectively drawing their attention away from one another. He looked entirely too fond. “And my other love.” Virgil appeared behind Logan. “And my—”

     “Yeah, yeah. We get it, Jay,” Virgil interrupted. “We’ve got more important things to do.” Janus decided not to mention the deep blush that had appeared on Virgil’s cheeks. He was right of course, but that didn’t take away from Janus’ satisfaction at flustering his partners. 

     Logan, on the other hand, was much more serious. He’d always been the most insufferable morning person. Knowing him, he’d been up for hours. “I am a little surprised at you, Janus. I would have expected you up by now seeing how worried you were last night. Given what you described, I was up rather early in order to begin our search for Roman.” 

     Janus rolled his eyes. He flicked his hand at Logan, putting him in the dress he had worn the night before, and god did he look good, shoulders bare and more elegantly dressed than they’d ever seen him. “You try running a restaurant in that.” Logan’s blush was matched by his partners. Now was not the time to be useless gays, but god dammit if that wasn’t just what they were.

     “I may have made an error in judgement,” Logan acknowledged. Virgil discreetly kicked him. Patton didn’t notice, but Janus still caught it and delighted in the rapidly deepening blush that came across their nerd’s face. “I apologize for being short with you,” he finished sheepishly, returning himself to his regular shirt and tie.

     “I convinced him to let you sleep in,” Virgil explained. Janus thanked his stars for his emo, for if he’d gotten a second less of sleep, he was sure he’d commit several different crimes today before blacking out. Several more than usual, that is. 

     Patton cocked his head to the side. “It’s not like you to be up so early, Virge.”

     “It is if I never slept,” Virgil said, doing finger guns in a poor attempt to lighten the situation. Patton crossed his arms, giving Virgil his Pattonted death stare. 

     “We’ll talk about that later.”

     Janus swung his legs out of bed and stood up. A wave of his hand removed any rumples from his clothing— he’d been too tired to change last night— restoring it to its crisp, clean norm, and as a finishing touch, he snapped his shoes on before elegantly twirling his bowler hat between his fingers, placing it on his head. Patton did the same, the only difference being him switching out his cat onesie for his normal clothing. Janus took a deep breath. “Alright. Let’s get Remus.”

***

     Patton hid behind Logan, as did Virgil, which was why he held his hand so that their brave Janus, who had put up with Remus’ chaos for years could do the talking. Logan was probably the warmest of all of them, even though Ro— smile, Patton— Patton himself was a pretty cozy temperature. He didn’t know what it was. He just radiated heat that Patton could feel even from merely hovering close to his strong shoulders. The same couldn’t be said for Janus and Virgil, however, for the two of them were cold as corpses— ew no, he was too close to Remus’ room gross gross gross…

     “Hello, Remus,” Janus greeted smoothly. Patton loved his voice so much. 

     “Riddle me this: if my anaconda don’t want none unless you got buns, what does he want?” The way he spoke— like they were prey— made Patton squeak and squeeze his boyfriend’s cold hand tighter. 

     “For you to open the imagination. Roman locked us out.” Janus sounded annoyed already, and Patton peered around Logan’s shoulder to brave a look at the scene. 

     Remus lounged languidly against his door, holding it seductively, but at least there wasn’t any blood involved, and Janus had his arms crossed with his weight shifted to one leg in impatience with the duke. “Not my problem,” Remus shrugged, about to close the door. Janus stuck his foot inside. 

     “It is when he’s your brother and might not be coming home unless you help us,” he snapped. Then his tone softened, his eyes flickered to the floor, and he looked so uncharacteristically troubled. “He’s really hurting right now, Remus. Please.”

     “Only if I get to call Patton daddy.”

     “No,” Patton’s partners all quickly said in unison. Patton blushed. He was still scarred from figuring out what that meant after being called it so many times, but he was used to it by now. 

     Remus considered Janus, peering to the left of his door to get a good look at the other three of them, and Patton shuddered. “Fine,” he groaned after a long silence. “I can’t unlock it, but I can use my door.”

     Janus stepped aside to let Remus out, and he shut his door behind him, closed his eyes, then opened it again. It was just a swirling black portal of some sort. “In you go! There’s no telling where you’ll end up— it’s a bit chaotic in there— but if you think about brother dearest long enough, you should be able to find him.” Remus sounded incredibly impish, which made Patton a bit nervous, but when it came to any of his partners, he would do anything. He took a deep breath, stepped around Logan, and charged through the door before he could be stopped. He only had one thought on his mind: Roman. 

     When he stumbled through to whatever side, dimension, or however else he could have possibly reached this place from Remus’ door, he was in a lovely khaki skirt with a loose-fitting, light blue shirt tucked into it beneath a black corset of sorts. His feet were bare— that was probably the first thing he noticed because suddenly there was grass— and everything around him was so green and alive. Nearby a gray... scarf?... he assumed to be his rested on a low-hanging tree branch. Under that same tree sat a basket.

     Everything was starting to feel eerily familiar...

     Nostalgic.

     He let himself breathe in the fresh air that smelled of spring while he figured it out, letting the sun filtering down from the gaps in the trees hit his freckled arms. This place felt like home. All he could hear were birds chirping their beautiful songs without a trace of another human in sight or earshot, which troubled him, but he didn’t let it deter him from his mission. He’d be found by his loves if he got lost, right? Of course. Why would he even doubt it?

     Though he tried to think bright thoughts, his smile felt queasy and he suddenly dreaded having rushed through the door alone. Why wasn’t anyone else here yet? And where was here? His breaths began to come in heavier, and he spun in a circle. Everything looked the same. These were just trees in the woods with no markings, no one to hold his hand, and certainly no one to lead the way. 

     That just meant he had to figure things out for himself. Janus had said fairy tales, right? Well then which one was he in?

     Oh! Oh! Black corset, tan skirt, no shoes… Was he— was he Aurora?! Patton squealed, unable to stop himself from jumping up and down in the soft greenery. ‘I know how to find Roman,’ he sang in his head, though really Roman would be coming to him. 

     He clasped his hands behind his back innocently, looking around before beginning to sing. He took a big, slow, almost dancing step, liking the way the skirt moved with his leg. “I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream. I know you, that look in your eyes is so familiar a gleam.” He twirled, and soon he was getting into the swing of things, freely sashaying around the forest floor. 

     “And I know it’s true that visions are seldom all they seem, but if I know you, I know what you’ll do: you’ll love me at once, the way you did once…” Patton suddenly stopped, his chest throbbing as the full force of everything hit him. “... upon a… dream.” Then, of course, he was crying. What if Roman really didn’t come for him? What if he didn’t want them to find him so badly that he would just leave Patton alone? What if he never got his fingers kissed again, or had someone to sleepily sing with him in the morning? What if no one ever carried him to bed when he accidentally fell asleep during a movie? What if he never got to tell Roman how much he loved him again? God, he missed him so terribly much already. 

     He pressed his back against one of the trees with the gray bark, burying his face in his hands to wet them with tears in private. Someone gently tried to pry them away, and Patton, thinking he was alone, screamed loud enough to send the birds flying. There was nowhere to scramble backwards to, so his first instinct was to push the person away from him as hard as he could. They didn’t so much as budge. And though his original effort failed, Patton was instantly overwhelmed with joy because he’d know that broad, firm chest anywhere. His head shot up. 

     Heart still pounding, he grinned, exclaiming, “Ro—” 

     “Shh. Dance with me?” Patton frowned, hesitantly offering his hands with halting movement as he tried to discern Roman’s face. He hid his sad eyes behind a concerned expression, and in a moment the look was gone, turning into a too-wide, too-bright smile. Roman took Patton’s hands, pulling him away from the tree, and began twirling him in time to music that played softly from thin air. Roman hummed along as they danced without saying a word. 

     Patton tried to enjoy it, he really did. Roman was an elegant dancer and Patton enjoyed being his partner, but something was obviously wrong. Patton couldn’t pinpoint the denial as accurately as Janus, but as in tune as he was to emotion, it was hard to miss the raw feeling in Roman’s face, posture, even the world he had created. “Roman—” Patton tried again. 

     Roman pulled Patton closer, pressing a sweet kiss to his cheek, but never once did he look him in the eye, instead gazing off somewhere behind him. “It’s alright, Patton. You’re allowed to cry,” he murmured. Patton almost laughed. 

     “It’s not about that. I mean, I suppose it is... I just didn’t think you were coming for me, and I missed you so much it hurt.” Patton was far from laughing now. He felt tears burn trails down his cheeks, and their dancing came to a halt along with the music. Roman lifted a hand to wipe the tears off of his face. 

     “You missed me?” Roman asked haltingly. His face slackened for a moment before being drawn back into that fake smile. It almost looked like a glitch, the sudden changes scaring Patton. “We only met but a few minutes ago. Did I make that large of an impression on you, darling?” he teased. 

     No no no… He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t— “Roman, we’ve been dating for months.” Patton was full-on crying now. He hadn’t quite believed Janus until now, for there was no way Roman felt so unwanted with all of them around. And yet… here they were. Standing in the middle of a serene forest that his ever so talented love had created, Patton uncontrollably crying his eyes out and Roman standing still as a statue because he didn’t know how to cope. How was it that Patton was only now feeling the depth of Roman’s insecurities? How was he only now realizing how hurt Roman was? 

     Roman dropped Patton’s hands reflexively, taking a small step back. “Patton… Why are you here?” 

     “We— We came for you. Janus told us what happened and—”

     “I told him not to follow me. I need— I need some space.” He ran a hand through his hair. 

     Patton took a step forward. “You need to come home.” Roman stepped further away, turning his back to Patton. “Roman?” He tried to put his hand on Roman’s shoulder, but he pulled away. 

     “Where were you when Janus came for me?” Roman asked hollowly. “You leave me alone for days before showing up randomly to discuss our feelings? I’m sick of it, Patton. I just want to be left alone.” Did he, or was he trying to push them away? Roman turned his head slightly towards Patton, and he swore he would never forget that apathetic goodbye. “Don’t try to follow me.” His stomach sank in dread. 

     Then Roman began walking through the trees, and behind him tumbled in thick fumes of fog. Patton desperately tried to follow him, but his regal form was quickly enveloped in the mist like a fleeting vision of a ghost that Patton had been graced with, leaving him to stumble around blindly, tripping over tree roots and low bushes. Roman wasn’t gone. He wouldn’t just leave him like this. It was a joke, right? Please let it be a joke. 

     He kept going and going and going, too scared of being left alone to stop, too scared of losing Roman to slow down. At one point he walked face-first into a tree branch, breaking his glasses, though it wasn’t like he could see in the first place. He threw them to the ground with a sobbing scream of frustration, then kept moving. 

     He had to keep searching. He had to. 

     “Roman?” Patton called. “Roman, this isn’t funny. Come out.” He finally found the end to the fog, but no Roman. Grief and fear twisted together to wrench his stomach. “Roman!’ Patton yelled louder and louder, diving back into the fog, screaming Roman’s name until his voice was hoarse. He fell more times than he could count, tearing his skirt and even his skin on more than just a few occasions. Wherever Roman was, he wasn’t here anymore. Slowly, the fog cleared, leaving a beaten-down Patton to numbly wander the forest. 

     He was alone.

*

*

*

@cuter-on-the-inside @abbyisconfused @n4o5r7a9 @omni-hamiltrash @fandomsofrandom @t0astyt0es @withspaces @anyelram841 @yep-another-fander @strangecreatureyoucantidentify @fandom-trash-304 @chelsvans @nomejodasb @iampengwing @neonb-fly @analogical-mess @midnight-tragedyy @idosanderssidespromptssometimes @athenashipsthings @thgjclw @littleladynightshade @casuallyimpossibledream @hekking-happy-nonsense @comicsimpson @slutforketchup @sanderrsidess @i-need-you-buddy @witchyvirgil @ghosttb0y @pixelatedrose @emilightniing @csi-baker-street-babes @iwillsithereandtrytocontribute @spooky-scary-virgil @justanothernerdyfandomblog @phantomfantasize @panicattheeveywhere @hedgiehoggles @i-really-like-dragons @youre-lazy-and-youre-gay0-0 @crabsncrabs @gattonero17 @dragonleesupporter @lokiamorstuffs @emo--nightmaree @anotherbisexualbooklover @7-slights-at-virgil @romanvirgil @croftersjam15

[youngbounty]

After being on Tumblr for a while and seeing all the Manfred Von Karma hate, I've come to realize that I might've developed a soft spot for our most dispicable villain. Honestly, the guy gets FAR too much hate than he deserves. Hear me out!

One of the things we learn about Manfred Von Karma is that he has a family. He has a wife, children and grandchildren. We also know that he loves them very much, considering how much he brags about them, takes pride in everything they do and his daughter Franziksa takes pride in being the daughter of Manfred Von Karma. If you play Miles Edgeworth Investigations 2, there's a part where Manfred Von Karma brags about how good his wife's cooking is despite being an amateur. It's clear that he's a loving father and husband to his family. He even took great pride in Miles Edgeworth and his accomplishments, despite being the son of the man he killed, and made him his heir.

On the outside, it does seem strange he would love any amount of pride and care for his pupil he's going to stab in the back in Turnabout Goodbyes, but there's also plenty to consider. Manfred Von Karma's only intention was to frame Miles Edgeworth for the murder of Robert Hammond, not his father. Had he succeeded, there's a good chance Manfred Von Karma would've been permoted as Chief Prosecutor and pulled a Blackquill on Miles Edgeworth as an inmate prosecutor. So long as Miles Edgeworth still followed him like that was his Lord and Savior, he'd take it as his mentor just doing his job. Miles Edgeworth confessing to murdering his father was one thing Manfred Von Karma didn't plan and it was after he realized the note from his mentor about the murder plan that we see Manfred Von Karma inside the Record Room. We see Manfred Von Karma trying to get rid of evidence from DL-6, but we also learn from The Grand Turnabout that if there is no evidence against the Defendant, they can be declared Not Guilty. Sure, Phoenix had files of DL-6, but Manfred Von Karma doesn't know that. Sure, Manfred Von Karma hates his perfect record being destroyed, but wasn't it already destroyed anyways thanks to the Not Guilty on Robert Hammond's murder? Manfred Von Karma's not Godot, he's not going to allow a Not Guilty verdict just to indict the defendant of another crime. He's a perfectionist, if he goes down, then how can he call himself a Prosecutor? Not to say Manfred Von Karma purposely lost to Phoenix when it came to DL-6, I'd definitely disagree on that, but it's clear he was ready to burst with his guilt tumbling down on him like an avalanche. He lost his perfect record and his star pupil. You can't expect this insane guy to walk away with his head held high. The moment Miles Edgeworth realized his nightmare was real was the moment Manfred Von Karma lost everything and had no one to blame, but himself.

Manfred Von Karma's relationship with Miles Edgeworth is the one that really sticks out. This is because, strangely enough, it's a very healthy student/mentor relationship that gives us a reason for why Miles Edgeworth looked at Manfred Von Karma as some sort of god. Think of how Miles Edgeworth looks to Phoenix Wright, setting the gay jokes aside. Doesn't Miles Edgeworth also look to Phoenix Wright the same or similar way as he did with his mentor? We all know the reason why: Phoenix Wright saved Miles Edgeworth. Miles Edgeworth looked to his father to the highest degree, because he saved innocent people. So, what's the reason for him looking to Manfred Von Karma as a character who looks up to those that save innocent people and would go heaven and earth to save himself? I think that speaks for itself.

Manfred Von Karma saving people seems laughable on the surface, after seeing what he did to Gregory Edgeworth and his star pupil, but let us think of this possibility. Wasn't it also Manfred Von Karma that defended Delicia Scones from being falsely accused and framed for murder? It isn't like he had a reason to do so. I'm not saying Manfred Von Karma is Superman, but I do think that his heroic side needs to be addressed to understand why Miles Edgeworth would look up to a man like him. We need to understand why Miles Edgeworth seeing Manfred Von Karma as a murderer is what led to him writing a suicide note and being left with uncertainty of his Prosecutor’s Path. The reason is simply because Manfred Von Karma was a man that has saved innocent lives and perhaps has saved Miles Edgeworth at some point in time. 

If I had to sum up what brought such a soft spot for Manfred Von Karma for me, it’s the fact he’s an evil person with a moral compass. He believes in perfection, but also loves and cares about his family and those under his authority. He’s the kind of person that would kill someone for ruining his perfect record, but is also the kind to save the innocence without being asked. He will call anyone foolish for going against him, but will defend the honor of his lowly wife, because he loves her. Manfred Von Karma is a human being that feels emotion and holds some sort of moral compass. He’s also the only mastermind villain that only murdered out of the heat of the moment. Manfred Von Karma didn’t create the earthquake or plan on Gregory Edgeworth to be stuck in an airtight elevator, then pass out to give him a moment to murder. In fact, what Manfred Von Karma did to Gregory Edgeworth is called Voluntary Manslaughter. 

It’s only once you consider that Manfred Von Karma’s murder was Manslaughter and compare that to all the other villains that did murder through methods that were calculating and deliberate with the sole intention of taking someone’s life that you also have to consider that Manfred Von Karma isn’t a cold-blooded killer. Manfred Von Karma is no Dahlia Hawthorne, Kristoph Gavin, Damon Gant, Blaise Debeste, Patricia Roland, Shelly De Killer, Matt Engard, Dogen, Ambassador Alba, Redd White, Tigre, Acro and many others who had planed and calculated murders with the sole purpose of murder without regrets. Manfred Von Karma fits in with the other murderers that did murder, but only had out of passion at the moment it happened such as Frank Sawett, Dee Vascez, Godot, Jaques Portsman, Melee, Gustavia, Alita Tiala, and probably more, some of whom have been proven to only be given a lifelong sentence. 

I have often had Manfred Von Karma to be given the Death Penalty, but I also consider he may’ve been given a long or life sentence. Phoenix has hinted the possibility of Manfred Von Karma having been executed, but it’s also not certain either. I don’t think we’ll ever know. What I do know is that Manfred Von Karma is in the middle on the scale of the most to least evil villain in Ace Attorney. Even his murder cannot compare to many of the most colorful villains. Manfred Von Karma murdered out of circumstances. He never planned it or even knew the outcome of it. Also, unlike the number of the most evil villains in Ace Attorney, Manfred Von Karma showed love and pride toward his family and students. He never once used them to commit any crimes or schemes. Yes, he stabbed Miles Edgeworth in the back, but again out of circumstances. Had Miles Edgeworth not shown up at Gourd Lake, Manfred Von Karma would’ve thrown Yanni Yogi under the bus quicker than a speeding train. Had he found not found Gregory Edgeworth inside the elevator or if little Miles had been awake, Manfred Von Karma would’ve not picked up the gun and just went off his merry way. Any other most evil villain would’ve found a Plan B. Manfred Von Karma would’ve been angry, but would’ve cooled down after a long walk and a cup of tea. There wouldn’t be so many No DL-6 stories, if this wasn’t the case. You’d have to admit that there was a greater chance Manfred Von Karma could’ve not murdered Gregory Edgeworth had he not been found in that elevator. 

I’m certain there will always be people that hate Manfred Von Karma, even after reading this. This is more of me speaking for myself. I used to hate Manfred Von Karma with a passion after the Trilogy. After playing Miles Edgeworth Investigations 2, I began defending Manfred Von Karma. I think it was mostly because it turned out that he didn’t plan or know that the Autopsy Report of IS-7 was forged. It made me wonder if, like Miles Edgeworth and Franziska Von Karma, if Manfred Von Karma never forged evidence and was just given falsified evidence for him to use from a much bigger villain. Not saying that Manfred Von Karma isn’t a horrible person, because he is, but I don’t think he ever was trying to be a horrible person. I do think he truly believed he was doing right and saving people. Think of it this way, if Manfred Von Karma truly wanted to make Gregory Edgeworth pay and suffer in the most cruel way possible, considering how he blackmailed Jeffery Master using his daughter, which one of these would Manfred Von Karma choose: kill Gregory Edgeworth or kill his son Miles Edgeworth. Which do you believe Manfred Von Karma would use against Gregory to make him pay, if he had everything planed and calculated? 

I will leave you guys with that question to think about.

[gayrett-hawke]

Getting to Know Hawke

Basics

Name: Garrett Hawke

Age at the start of their game: 27 (born 30 Firstfall, 9:03 Dragon)

Gender: Male

Sexual orientation: Gay

Race: Human

Class: Mage

Height: 6'4"

Weight: 227 lbs

Eyes: Brown

Hair color/texture: Black; Wavy (not that you can tell with how short it normally is)

Skin tone: Ivory

Do they tan or freckle?: He definitely tans, and he gets some freckles too, but they're so faint, it's hardly noticeable

Any distinctive physical characteristics?: Other than being a big, beefy boy with a fabulous beard? Just some scars here and there, most notably the one across his nose that he usually covers with war paint

Personality

Personality type: ESFP-T

Optimist, pessimist, or realist?: Realist

Best traits:

Charming

Friendly

Outgoing

Compassionate

Loyal

Worst flaws:

Self-Deprecating

Foolhardy

Soft-Hearted

Audacious

Evasive

Tropes that apply to them:

All-Loving Hero

Almighty Janitor

Aloof Big Brother

Badass Unintentional

Because Destiny Says So

Benevolent Boss

Beware the Silly Ones

Big Brother Instinct

Bullying a Dragon

The Caretaker

Casual Danger Dialogue

The Charmer

Cosmic Plaything

Deadpan Snarker

The Dutiful Son

Failure Hero

Fight Magnet

Friend to All Children

Heroic Self-Deprecation

Hurting Hero

It's All My Fault

Let's Get Dangerous!

Living Emotional Crutch

Magic Knight

Magnetic Hero

Modest Royalty

Must Make Amends

Nay-Theist

Nice Job Breaking It, Hero!

Non-Idle Rich

Obfuscating Stupidity

One-Man Army

Properly Paranoid

Rage Breaking Point

Reluctant Warrior

Right Man in the Wrong Place

Royals Who Actually Do Something

Sad Clown

Seen It All

The Snark Knight

Warrior Therapist

You Are Better Than You Think You Are

Are there any songs that particularly suit them?:

Forever Young by Youth Group

Don't Stop Me Now by Queen

Warriors by Imagine Dragons

Smile by Nat King Cole

For You I Will by Tata Young

If yes, would they agree with your selections?: Yeah, probably, but he might prefer I leave out the 4th one

Preferences

Favorite color: Red

Favorite animal: DRAGONS!

Taste in clothing: Casual. Anything that's comfortable, sturdy, and at least somewhat decent-looking

How do they feel about mage rights?: Would like some, thank you

How do they feel about the other races of Thedas?: As long as the personality is decent, he gets along with them. Also, Qunari are big and strong, and he admires them from an aesthetic point of view

Are they religious?: Not especially, but he technically was raised Andrastian

If they were to find themselves in a modern AU

Favorite food: Burgers

Drink order: Dark and Stormy, Old-Fashioned, or Whiskey Sour

What would they wear for a night out?: An obnoxiously-tight black t-shirt, a red flannel with the sleeves rolled up, a pair of jeans, and some black Doc Martens

Song(s) that would be sure to get them on the dance floor:

Take on Me by a-ha

Tubthumping by Chumbawamba

All Star by Smash Mouth

Blue (Da Ba Dee) by Eiffel 65

Ma Ya Hi (Dragostea Din Tei) by Dan Balan and Lucas Prata

What Is Love by Haddaway

Careless Whisper by George Michael

Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley

YMCA by Village People

Rasputin by Boney M

U Can't Touch This by MC Hammer

Let's Get It On by Marvin Gaye

September by Earth, Wind, and Fire

College major: Kinesiology or Paleontology, maybe

Ideal date: Amusement Park

Favorite movie and/or film genre: Shrek 2; Comedy

Family/Friends/Love Life

Relationship with their parents: Garrett was very close to Malcolm. As the firstborn and a fellow mage, he had plenty of time to bond with his father and follow in his footsteps. His relationship with Leandra wasn't as solid, though. He always wanted to make her proud, but she put a lot on him after his father died, and he mostly just accepted that she needed someone to take her pain out on

Siblings (outside of canon): Surprising or no, Hawke really loves Carver. He's not great at being serious and all that, but he does actually care and would do anything for his younger brother. He also realizes how much Carver has had to deal with and is willing to be an emotional punching bag whenever he needs it. His relationship with Bethany was a lot better, since they spent a lot of time learning magic together, and she was more willing to let loose than Carver. She was his rock, and the rest of the family's too, and her loss affected him deeply

Best friend(s): Varric, Isabella, Anders (initially), and Inquisitor Adaar (if she is able to exist in the RP)

Companion(s) they get along best with: Fenris, Isabella, Varric, Merrill, and Anders (initially)

Companion(s) they get along worst with: Carver (one-sided), Sebastian, and Anders (eventually)

Companion(s) from other games in the series you wish they could meet, and why: Alistair back when he was a Grey Warden, just because of the sheer amount of goofy himbo energy they both have

Age of sexual debut: Probably around 16 or 17 (but please don't be creepy about it; mun is ace and is only basing this age on what they heard about from their peers in high school)

Romanced: Fenris (RPs will not go beyond flirting with anyone he met after this man who stole his heart)

Relationship status as of the end of Inquisition: Partners

Are there any songs that particularly suit their romance?:

All On Me by Devin Dawson (with altered gender terms)

Did I Mention by Jeff Lewis and Mitchell Hope (again, altering gendered vocabulary)

Arms by Christina Perri

Latch by Sam Smith

What are they like as a romantic partner?: Snarky and playful, but ultimately putty in his partner's hands. He's a bit of a hopeless romantic and will turn his whole life upside down to please the one he loves. Also prone to grand romantic gestures and spontaneous displays of affection

Do they enjoy cuddling?: Absolutely!

Do they want children?: Not particularly

Do they (now or eventually) have children?: No

Skills

Can they cook?: A bit

Can they sing/play an instrument?: Sing? Sure. Play an instrument? No

Are they a good dancer? If not, do they do it anyway?: He can be, but it's much more fun to goof off and entertain the people around him

Do they have any creative hobbies?: Not really

Any martial training beyond their main weapon?: Malcolm trained him in swordfighting before his magic kicked in

Languages spoken: The common tongue and a bit of Tevene he picked up from Fenris

Any other unique skills they'd like us to know about?: He's pretty talented at drinking, but anything else he'd like you to know probably wouldn't be appropriate to repeat

Template

[casper-writes-stuff]

North Side of the Trees Part One

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22900057/chapters/54735148

Summary:  Virgil gets caught in the thrall of a Will-o'-the-wisp and finds himself in the territory of a lamia- a half snake half human creature, and is a little freaked but a lot gay and Jesus how is this his life?

This has been in the works for. So long. Too long, honestly. But the first part is done! I'm pretty excited about that, actually and I'm even more excited to get part two out once it's finished.

Enjoy!!!

Virgil doesn’t really know what happened after he’d entered the forest. He remembers seeing a wispy light off in the distance and despite knowing it was a Will-o'-the-wisp it was almost as if he’d been possessed by the urge to follow it.

Will-o'-the-wisp’s typically lead you somewhere you wouldn’t be seen again. Most assumed that meant death, Virgil was inclined to agree. Not like he was able to stop though, even as he kept tripping over roots and stumbling over fallen branches. His trance like focus on following the wisp never broke, his gaze never wavered from the ghost-like fire that was always several feet in front of him.

He didn’t come back to himself until it dissipated, seemingly scared off by something Virgil couldn’t see because as soon as he was aware of his surroundings he was kind of panicking.

“Hoooly shit,” he cursed, looking around the dense forest, an area he’d never been before because it wasn’t within the designated safety borders and Virgil was never really fond of the forest anyway.

Virgil was honestly so busy panicking he didn’t see the glowing yellow eyes in the trees, didn’t notice the movement of a thick tail loosening from a thick branch until there was suddenly a cacophony of crunching leaves and a thud on the ground in front of him.

He snapped his head up, hands pulling away from yanking at his hair to ground him while he breathed in through his nose and out through his mouth in calculated measures.

Except he wasn’t really breathing very evenly now, if at all, what with looking at a fucking half snake dude laying in the ground, arms crossed as he used them to prop himself up.

“What?” Virgil asked, letting out a disbelieving laugh because lamias were typically women, at least from the rare sightings humans had seen of them and also because lamias had never willingly showed themselves to a human before and he was a little worried about what that meant for his safety.

The lamia started speaking, and Virgil flinched back as pain threatened to split his skull in two at the sounds coming from the snake man’s throat. He stopped speaking, frowning for a moment before sighing.

“Want…” he started, a strange accent thick in the word, “want keep you?”

...What?

Virgil stared at the lamia, utterly perplexed that he was trying to talk to him in broken english. How the hell was he supposed to react to this?

Snake man huffed, pushing himself up until he was eye level with Virgil, making the slit pupils and scales decorating his face so much more detailed and…

Jesus Christ, Virgil was not gay for a snake, nope this was not happening.

“Want keep you. You dumb?”

Virgil snorted out another laugh, trying to keep it stifled because if he was attracted to a snake then yeah, he’d say he’s pretty fucking dumb.

“That’s… up for debate at the moment. Um… you. You want to keep me?” he asked, taking a step back when the lamia grew closer to him.

The movement made him narrow his eyes, and the next thing Virgil knew he was wrapping himself around him and he was suddenly encased in snake.

Virgil went red faced, letting out a small squeak because wow he was not expecting to be in this situation today. Granted, he hadn’t been expecting to meet a lamia ever, and yet here he was.

“You followed wisp. Found me. I want keep you, make safe,” he kept speaking, a forked tongue slipping out between his words.

Oh God, his pupils got big all of a sudden, was that a bad thing?

The lamia leaned forward suddenly, burying his face in Virgil’s neck and tongue ghosting over his neck, forcing another startled squeak from his throat.

“Smell good. Taste good. Look good. Let me keep you.”

Virgil found himself asking once again how the fuck he was supposed to react to this. A lamia found him attractive apparently? A monster… who’s kind had been typically caught eating men wanted to keep him, and apparently make sure he was safe?

What. What the fuck was his life right now?

“Okay well you suddenly got so much more personal than I have let even my last boyfriend get so maybe-” he cleared his throat, trying to ignore his burning face as he gently pushed the lamia’s face away from his neck, “maybe back up a little bit, dude.”

Snake man seemed to pout, but he at least followed Virgil’s guidance away from his neck.

“And also why? Like you’re cute, I can not deny that,” Virgil continued, trying not to get distracted by the pretty pink that dusted the lamia’s face at that, “but humans have found lamia’s eating men before and I gotta be a little worried about my safety here.”

Snake man shook his head, seeming irritated by Virgil’s words and wow, he could not help his concern for his well-being spiking at that.

“Only women and only human men who threaten safety. Still dangerous here, but I keep safe.”

Ah, well okay that was a little less worrying?

“And you are pretty. Prettiest human I’ve seen. Let me…” the lamia eyed his neck again, his tongue slipping out as he breathed deeply, “let me keep you.”

“You are really insistent on that, aren’t you?” Virgil asked, rubbing at his neck as his eyes dropped to the tail wrapped around his legs up to his waist.

His scales were a pretty shade of yellow, with paler patches littering his tail in random shapes, sizes, and placements. Virgil used his free hand to stroke over the skin, now distracted with the way the muscle seemed to contract under his touch.

The lamia hissed, and Virgil’s eyes snapped up to his face again to see a flustered expression.

“Oh uh… sorry, man,” he said, pulling his hand away.

Snake man shook his head, taking a moment to seemingly recover before he spoke up.

“Name? Need name to keep you.”

Virgil bit his lip, glancing around the forest as he thought.

That… would be interesting, but he wasn’t sure how he felt being ‘kept’ by a lamia when he had a life back in town. It wasn’t much of one, and he struggled to make ends meet more often than not, but he wasn’t sure how well he’d take to being away from people.

“Flattering offer, but I can’t really say it’s all that tempting outside of the pretty snake man offering it,” he said, looking at the lamia.

He frowned, leaning away from Virgil for a second as he thought.

“You keep me?”

Virgil spluttered, blinking rapidly as he jerked back the best he could wrapped up in lamia tail.

“What? Dude no, you’d literally be killed if someone found you and I’m not about to let that be on my conscience.”

He huffed, crossing his arms over his chest as his pout returned.

This lamia really needed to stop being cute so Virgil could stop dealing with the crisis of wanting to kiss him.

“Then stay with me,” he said, getting closer to Virgil’s face again, reaching a hand up to run it through his hair, a soft gasp escaping him and his other hand joining the first.

Was he… being petted by a snake?

“You haven’t really done much to sweeten the deal, snake man,” Virgil said, a little amused by his excitement over his hair.

The lamia paused, shifting his attention from Virgil’s hair to his face, though his hands remained buried in the strands.

“What?” he asked, making Virgil raise an eyebrow.

“Not sure what you’re asking, dude. ‘What’ is the vaguest possible question.”

“What did you call me?”

Well his english seemed to be getting better, at least?

“Snake man? I don’t exactly know your name,” Virgil answered, shoving his hands in his hoodie pocket so he didn’t do something dumb, like pet the guy’s tail again.

He hummed, going back to playing with Virgil’s hair.

“My language hurts you, name would be bad to say.”

Virgil thought at that, trying to keep his mind focused and not melt when the snake started digging his nails into his scalp, scratching the skin in a pleasant way.

“Can you like… translate your name to english? Since you seem to be able to speak it.”

The lamia paused at that, tilting his head and looking up at the treetops for a moment.

“Deceit. Closest word.”

Virgil nodded, gently pulling Deceit’s hands from his hair.

“Well it’s nice to meet you, Deceit, but I should really get home. It’s getting pretty late, and I’ve really gotta figure out how to get home because I’m honestly lost as fuck.”

Deceit frowned, looking at Virgil’s face in consideration.

“Stay with me for night. I will get you home tomorrow if promise to visit.”

Virgil weighed his options, letting out a sigh because his choice was honestly very small.

Either he got lost in a forest full of magical creatures that want to kill, eat, or keep him with malicious intent, or he stay the night with the lamia who had proven to at least not want to hurt him on purpose and go back home tomorrow so he can figure out how to work visiting said lamia into his not so busy schedule.

“Yeah, alright. I can agree to that.”

Deceit grew visibly excited for a moment before he cleared his throat and schooled his expression into a more muted eager one.

“Perfect. Will lead you to nest, meet pests who like visits.”

Virgil watched as Deceit’s expression grew into fond irritation at the mention of the ‘pests’ and he had to assume he probably meant friends. He could relate to that, Remy was the most annoying fucker in town but Virgil would honestly kill for him.

“Alright, Dee. Can’t really walk with you wrapped around me though.”

Deceit grew red, Virgil letting out an amused laugh as he uncoiled himself from around his legs.

“Sorry. Let’s go, before moon rise.”

Virgil shrugged, and gestured for Deceit to lead the way.

[unholy-sacrificial-mutt]

A Reel Catch

Pairing: Roceit (fic and fanart)

AU: Mermaid

Word: 3126

Warnings: Mentions of blood, mentions of death, slight panic.

Summary: Would you smooch a merman?

Merry LATE christmas and birthday @suicidal-maffin​

I hope this was worth the wait!

Roman Kingsly loved long walks on the beach, no matter how cliché it was. It was the time he got to himself after a busy day of working at the theater. He was still dressed in the costume he made himself for tonight’s performance. 

A prince. 

A regal white and gold outfit with a red sash.

He stood, looking at the setting sun, the feeling of the sand between his toes as the cold ocean runs over his feet calming him. He let out a sigh as he began walking again, letting his stress wash away with every lap of the cool waves against his ankles. He followed the thin stretch of beach, pausing when he saw what looked to be a sleeping person on the beach. The waves crashed over them, obscuring their body from view for a few seconds at a time, though they didn’t move. 

“Excuse me, Sir, Ma’am?” The man called out, taking a few hesitant steps forward. 

No response. 

“Are you hurt?” 

Still no response. 

‘Calm down Roman, they could just be a deep sleeper.’ 

He walked up to the still form cautiously, his movements slow - unsure. As the man’s body was illuminated in the dying light of the sunset, Roman let out a soft gasp. They weren’t… human. Or rather, not fully. At least half of his body was that of a human, if a little…. Strange. But rather than legs, a long fin wound around itself in the sand. 

“Mermaid?” he breathed out in shock before blinking himself out of his trance. 

Something was wrong.

The creature wasn’t breathing. 

Tangled up in a fishing net. 

Hooks stuck out of their skin. 

A large gash on their side soaked the sand in red.

Roman looked around, knowing he should probably call the police, but… what would happen to this poor creature? Who would even believe him? Most people didn’t even think mermaids were real. 

Hell, Roman didn’t think they were real until hardly a few seconds ago.

He took a breath, working as quickly as he could to get the not-so-imaginary creature untangled from the netting, and picked all the hooks out of his skin. He looked down at the creature and bit his lip in thought. He couldn’t just toss him back into the ocean. He could die. With shaky hands - and a made up mind - he took his handmade princely coat and wrapped it around the creatures tail, cradling him in his arms as though he were the perfect bride. 

“Okay, now to get you to my truck without anyone noticing,” he mumbled to himself. 

Thankfully, he didn’t have much issue getting back as the theater parking lot was empty and the lights inside the building were off. Getting the creature home, having broken a few speeding limits, he brought him inside before he risked being caught by any of his neighbors. He quickly rushed to the bathroom, filling the tub with lukewarm water. Resting the creature in the tub for a moment, Roman turned the light on. 

He gasped. 

The creature was absolutely beautiful. 

His gray-violet skin appeared smooth but for a few scales that were scattered over his chest and face, glittering in the light as though they were made from gold dust. Brown hair fell across his forehead, perfectly framing the beauty of the creature’s face. If not for the insanely long and iridescent tail that occupied most of the tub, immediately drawing Roman’s eyes, he would have spent more time admiring his beauty. 

He felt bad. 

The creature’s tail was all scrunched up, curling over itself to fit in the tub. Roman looked down and saw that the water rising over the creature’s form was a deep red. Cursing to himself, he let the water drain while he dropped to his knees, opened the cabinet under his sink, and dumped everything out until he found a first aid kit. He found some bandages and propped the creature up on his arm before beginning to clean and wrap his torso. 

“How did this happen…?” he whispered softly, though he knew he was speaking to no one but himself. 

Once the creature was bandaged, he plugged the tub again, watching it fill. He noticed that the creature was breathing - albeit very small breaths - which made sense as to why Roman thought he wasn’t breathing when he had only seen him in the dull light outside. He breathed a sigh of relief and sat down on the floor. Once the water was filled as high as it could go, he turned off the tub. 

There was a merman in his tub. 

A freakin merman! 

What do mermen eat? 

He rested his head against the wall, watching the other, eyes feeling heavy. It wasn’t late, but it had been a long day, and god was Roman tired. His eyes slid shut as the creature’s patterned black and yellow tail seemed to shine. 

***

Dee awoke to feeling cramped and in pain. He let out a groan, eyes snapping open as water didn’t enter his mouth like it should. He squinted his eyes as the bright artificial light burned and seemed to be brighter because of the white tile walls of the bathroom. When he turned his head to see a human man - shirtless, the unnatural light showing every curve of his muscled form - sleeping against the wall near him, he jumped, trying to get away. His tail writhed in the already-overfilled tub, splashing water out onto the man, which caused him to wake with a sharp gasp.

“Ah! What the hell?!” He shouted, the noise startling a hiss from the merman. The human blinked as his eyes landed on Dee. “Oh. It wasn’t a dream. Mermaids are real,” he said with astonishment. Dee’s chest was heaving, making him wince every time as pain shot through his side. He was as far away from this human as he could possibly be, given the circumstance he found himself in. Roman noticed his fear and put his hands up as if to show he wasn’t going to harm him. “Hey, it’s okay,” he reassured him, keeping his tone soft. “Do you know what I’m saying?” The creature looked at him with a glare, fear still in his eyes, though it was obvious that he was trying to hide it now.

“Of course I know what you’re saying; I’m not an idiot!” He snapped. Roman’s eyes watched the others mouth, seeing the sharp teeth. He gulped, only now realizing that he had brought a creature - that he had no idea what it was capable of - into his home. 

Fuck.

“Okay, look, I’m sorry. I just discovered mermaids actually exist. Sorry for not automatically knowing that you speak English,” Roman spat out, trying to not seem suddenly scared. Roman went to stand up, the sudden movement startling the merman as his tail writhed again, trying to push him further away from the moving human, but with a wall there, he had nowhere to go. Roman blinked, sitting back down, looking at the other. 

“I’m sorry. I-um…do you have a name?” Roman asked timidly.

“Of course I have a name,” the merman huffed, rolling his eyes. Roman watched as his chest stilled heaved with fear. When the creature didn’t continue, he spoke up again.

“May I know your na-”

“No!” The other snapped again, the tip of his tail rattling slightly, much like a snake. Roman kept his hands up defensively for a second before dropping them in defeat at his sides. “I’m sorry. I didn’t have any other choice but to bring you here. You were wounded.” He motioned to the bandage that had a dark red blood stain on it. The merman looked down, touching his side with a wince before looking up in confusion. 

“You….helped me?” His voice was unsure, his words coming out hesitantly.

“Of course I did. Why wouldn’t I?” It was Roman’s turn to be confused, a single brow raising on his forehead. 

“Well, sorry that most humans I’ve met have tried to capture or kill me on sight. Not that most merpeople are any better. It’s more of an every-merperson-for-themselves situation,” he snapped, crossing his arms over his chest. As he did so, he felt the gash in his side throb painfully, and a wince must have crossed his face, because Roman’s eyes softened, looking at the bandage. 

“Is that how… that happened?” He looked up to meet the other’s impossibly golden eyes. “Humans, I mean.” 

He sighed softly, sinking into the water more, curling his tail into coils so it all fit into the confines of the small porcelain tub. “Both, actually. Some merpeople led me to the fishermen, and then the fishermen tried to kill me from there.” 

Roman gasped softly, covering his mouth. “That’s rude. Why would they do that? What did you ever do to them?” 

“Well,” he stated matter-of-factly. “They were my brothers. Our mom died giving birth to me.” He shrugged, looking out the window of the bathroom. “Mother’s are the only type of merperson one of us will care about.” 

Roman’s heart softened for the snappy mermaid in front of him. “Considering you don’t exactly have anyone to go back to, you’re welcome to stay here if you’d like. Or if you need a place. I can order a bigger bathtub for you. Or a big fish tank? Is that racist? Or…species-cist? I’m sorry if that’s offensive-” 

The man’s gaze lowered away from the merman, his hand coming up to awkwardly rub at the back of his neck. 

He was rambling. 

He was definitely rambling. 

He had just asked this scarily pretty merman to live with him. 

He had just met him.

But it wasn’t like he could just send him back to his brothers. 

He would be killed!

A deep, rumbling laugh pulled Roman out of his thoughts in an instant.

He looked up to see the other’s mouth - full of sharp teeth that glinted in the light - wide open in a laugh as he winced, hand going clutching his side over where Roman knew the wound was, unable to stop laughing. Roman’s face warmed, a blush painting itself across his cheeks as he watched the other laugh, his heart pounding as his stomach dropped. 

Oh sweet Meryl Streep. 

I’m gay. 

I’m so gay.

I’m going to die. 

This is how I die. 

Here lies Roman Kingsly, death by gay.

This is my legacy. 

The merman’s laughed calmed down, cheeks flushed a deep shade of yellow as he looked at the man staring at him with wide eyes. The flush in his cheeks deepened and he scoffed. 

“Take a picture, it will last longer,” he teased, enjoying the way the other’s face seemed to turn even redder. Roman huffed and rolled his eyes.

“I’m going to get up. Are you okay with that?” He asked cautiously, to which the merman nodded slowly, watching the other. 

Roman stood slowly, watching the other for any sign of fear in his eyes. While there was some, the merman stayed mostly calm. Roman stretched, the merman getting a good look at the human in front of him as he did so. He was fit, tan, and dare he say…cute? For a human, anyways.

The merman shook his head to clear his head. 

Roman looked down and held out a hand. “My name is Roman. Pleasure to meet you Mr. Merman!” he grinned charmingly at the other, wanting to ease some of the tension between the two of them. The merman blinked, tilting his head curiously at the outstretched hand before looking up at Roman in silent confusion. 

Roman chuckled, feeling his heart skip a beat at the frankly adorable look. “It’s a handshake. Put your hand out like mine.” 

The merman put out his left hand. Roman let out a hearty laugh, making the merman scowl and withdraw his hand with a hiss. 

“Oh, no, no. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to laugh; it was just cute. You need to put out the other hand.” 

“Don’t laugh at me again…” he said almost defensively. Roman smiled softly and nodded. The merman put out his right hand.

“I’m going to grab your hand. Not hard and not to hurt you, okay?” The sea creature nodded and Roman grabbed his hand, giving him a slow hand shake. “Hello, my name is Roman. Pleasure to meet you. Your name is?” The merman looked at their hands holding each other, his face flushed yellow again.

“Dee. My name is Dee.” Dee looked up at Roman from the tub. “Would you really let me stay here?” It’s not like he had anything waiting for him in the ocean. He kinda hated it. It was boring to him. 

“Well yeah. Your brothers are trying to kill you over something you can’t control. I can’t just send ya back out there. Besides it will take some time for you to heal.” Roman blushed, looking down at the others tail, wondering what would be big enough for it. Finally getting a good look at the other, he noticed all the scars and missing scales, feeling his heart ache for Dee.

“Well I’ll give you an answer once I’m healed.” Dee smirked at the slightly deflated look on Roman’s face. He wasn’t completely convinced Roman wasn’t trying to just keep him captured for money or something of the like, but he did need to heal, so for now, he’d stay here.

***

The next month passed with a domesticity that both of them quickly became accustomed to. Roman ended up buying a big fishtank that barely fit in his living room, but it gave Dee room to stretch out his tail, so it was worth the trouble. Roman would go to work and be gone half the day, and at night, he would come home with fresh fish for Dee, making dinner for himself while Dee. 

Roman made a steak one day and Dee practically started drooling, making a weird chirping sound. It didn’t take long for the human to figure out that it was the sound merpeople made when they wanted to hunt something, and he decided to give in. After teasing Dee with the meat for a bit, he gave him a bite, and it was immediately learned that he loved red meat. 

The two of them got to know each other really well, spending every spare moment talking over whatever tv show or movie Roman had put on. They talked about their lives - Roman’s as a budding actor and Dee’s as a merperson. Roman asked as many questions about Dee’s life as he could, and Dee would give a warm smile for a moment at the thought of someone caring enough to ask questions about him. 

Roman took extra care of Dee’s wounds, changing the bandages every day, even having to stitch one one up. He made sure he cleaned them, even when Dee hissed and clawed at him from the strange stinging it caused. 

Within the month, Roman came to learn that Dee was part eel - rather than the ordinary version of a mermaid that he had come to think about - as he began to “shed” his slime. It became so bothersome to Dee that at that point, Roman had to jump in the tank with him to help him as there were no rocks or plants to swim through. 

Dee’s face was a deep yellow shade at the prospect of Roman having to help him get rid of his slime, but the minute the others hands were on his tail, he let out a gasp and shuddered slightly, his entire tail shivering as his eyes fluttered shut. Roman pulled his hands back, scared he had hurt the other, to which Dee groaned in annoyance. 

“You okay, Dee?” Roman asked, feeling the slime that was on his hands from just the little touch. Dee nodded slightly in response.

“Yeah. Just…not used to anyone touching my tail like that.” Dee kept his eyes cast downwards, which was strange for him. Even when startled, Dee always looked at Roman. 

“Okay. I’m going to touch your tail again…”  Roman said hesitantly, it being made clear by his tone of voice that he was asking permission. 

When Dee nodded, Roman put his hands back on the other’s slimy tail and begin gently rubbing the slime off. Dee, who’s entire face was yellow at this point, shivered at every touch of his tail. With how long his tail was, it took Roman a good 10 minutes to finish. The water was a murky grey color and felt almost thicker than before. Roman looked at the water curiously as Dee, breathless and flustered, looked at Roman. 

“Ro…?” Dee’s voice was soft - which was also unusual for him, Roman noted to himself. 

“Yeah, Dee?” Roman looked up with a soft smile. 

“You know that thing that the people in your romance movies do?” His voice shook and he moved a little closer to Roman, making the other blush, now just fully aware at only being in underwear. 

“Which thing?”

“The thing with the mouths.” Dee licked his lips as Roman’s face flushed, his eyes took a quick look at Dee’s lips. He was shocked when he learned during one of their movie nights that most merpeople don’t kiss. And he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t dreamt of kissing him - sharp teeth and all. 

“You mean kissing?” Now Roman’s voice was shaky. Dee nodded softly, their bodies flush against each other now, the feeling of the merman’s chest cool against Roman’s. 

“Can…can we do it?” 

Roman, once the question was muttered, pressed his lips to the other’s without hesitation. Dee let out a very undignified squeak as he turned deep yellow once more before kissing back, quickly learning how it worked. Dee’s tail wrapped around the others body protectively, keeping him close as they kissed softly in the murky grey water of the tank. They slowly sank below the water, neither caring as Dee just kissed oxygen into the other’s mouth. Popping out of the water a few minutes later, Roman gasped for air as Dee chuckled, wide grin on his face. Roman’s red face looked at Dee’s yellow one before they both stopped laughing, going back in for another kiss. Dee pulled back with a chuckle after only a moment. 

“If it wasn’t obvious, that was my answer as to whether or not I’m staying.” 

At Roman’s gasp, Dee let out a deep, rumbling chuckle before pulling him in for yet another kiss. As new as he was to it, Dee had to admit… he liked kissing.

[bonesthebeloved]

Writing Master post

AN: Here is all mt Sanders Sides related fic and otherwise so it’s easier to find for all of you. Happy reading!

Non fics/ prompt/ headcanon posts:

Sad Roman headcanons Masterpost

Random Creativitwins headcanons

Fluffy Logince headcanons

Fanfics:

All of these link to AO3 for now, I will link the Tumblr versions soon aswell however that takes a bit more digging.

The absence of a necessity  Summary: When Thomas stops lying altogether, Deceit and the other dark sides are quick to notice the effects. But it’s only made clear what kind of effect it truly has when it’s already too late…-or- Deceit disappears and the dark sides all grief in different ways. None of them able to accept that he's really gone

Least favourite to myself  Summary: Based on this prompt by transformationloveb:Ok I thought of some extra sad Roman angst for you- Ok, what I’d there’s a video where Thomas has the sides shapeshift as their favorite of all the sides (or, currently revealed sides at least). And the situation goes like this: Thomas: “You all change to your favorite side…NOW!” None of the sides change, cause, their favorite side is themselves……Nobody but Roman. Who shapeshifts into a side of your choosing. Thomas is a bit confused at this, noticing what happened. And decides: “Ok, second favorite side.” Everyone changes this time. But roman doesn’t switch to himself, It’s a different side again. “Third favorite?” Different side. “Fourth favorite?!” Different side. “Fifth?!” Different side. “LEAST FAVORITE?!” And Roman goes back to himself. Enjoy.

Red and green makes royalty Summary: Remus and Roman are in the middle of an argument when suddenly, King creativity shows up. An odd thing. Seeing as the two sides needed for his creation were gawking at him from a few feet away.

4 days and 4 months  Summary: After a fight, Roman goes on another quest to the imagination. After four days, Patton goes after him. Just to find that the issues might lay deeper than a simple feud

Absolutely nothing Summary: Work based on the poem 'Absolutely nothing' which appears in 'the perks of being a wallflower'. A story about how somebody can lose their grip on happiness and how their friends don't notice

When showers are no longer helpful Summary:Remus and Patton are in a relationship. Not a happy one but that’s okay. Those only exist in fairytales right?

For even if I'm far away I'll hold you in my heart Summary: King creativity knows he doesn't have much time left and sings one final song for Deceit who's much too young to know what is going on.

You did to me what tsunamis do to homes Summary: Patton and Remus fuse for an experiment. Then they fuse again. Then they stay fused because Patton wants them to. When the others finally find out how bad the fusion is hurting Remus, the damage is already done and they have to deal with the aftermath.

I'll write you bloody murder - Intrulogical  Summary: "Did you kill him, Lo?" Remus would convince himself that he had been dreaming it. Starting on a new book and buying him and Logan a puppy for their anniversary. Throwing clothes with the tiniest of blood splatters in the washing machine while acting like he hadn't seen the red splash. Like his husband coming back from work a bit too late and a bit too happy while smelling of fresh blood as he kissed him hello was something normal. Like knowing exactly which veins to hit and how long it would take for the victim to bleed out was part of the job. "I killed all of them."

What I am to you- Platonic Dukeceit Summary: Remus and Dee have been friends for so long that becoming anything else seems absurd to them.

Edward Scissorhands - Platonic Dukexiety Summary: Virgil and Remus have never been close. Could barely be called friends even. Virge wished for them having nothing in common.But when he starts to miss their ranting sessions, he goes to Remus his room to find if they still had some shared interests that Remus hadn't ruined for him.He found out that a shared interest existed. Or, more like, shared coping mechanism. But even for all the times, he wished the other to be dead, he never meant to hope for the other to self-harm. And he never hoped for him to do it for the same reasons either.

The tv-stand - intrulogical Summary: Logan imitating Remus in the bloopers video but they're gay and in love.

Tipsy - Logince Summary: It had started out like all of their unofficial dates had up until now. But this ended up being so much better.-Or-Logan gets tipsy and clings to Roman like a koala bear.

Chasing squirrels and sunspots  Summary: Deceit has a sphynx cat. She's a queen and snek boy would die for her.

Sharp edges evened out  Summary: Remus gets bullied at school. But luckily he has a very caring brother and two rats to cheer him up.

The last bird flew towards the south - Roceit  Summary: Deceit is dead. And the last leaves fall off the trees as poison drips from his fangs and the wounds on his arm. And Roman just holds him. And watched the birds pass by as he weeps. And Deceit is dead.

Loud talking, mushy thoughts  Summary: Roman, after being wronged by his 'family' one too many times, goes to live with the dark sides. Que protective instincts firing in both Remus and Deceit.

Everything stays Summary: When Remus finds the weapon that belonged to the original creativity thought to be long lost, he asks his brother for help to retrieve it. Based on a lovely comic by chronophobica on Tumblr and the song everything stays from adventure time.

Loved- Roceit Summary: Roman and Dee are married, soft, and use the same pet names me and my partner use. Also, Dee really wants one of the puppies Remus rescued.

Humming and plush butterflies  Summary: Virgil does weird stuff and Deceit records itDeceit has endearing stuff and Virgil knows about it.Logan is very confused by both of these things.-OR-I was soft for the lads and felt like shit so have my very first crackfic.

Complicated- Creativitwins  Summary: The twins have a complicated relationship with their father and figure it out through the years. >Tumblr version<

The only member Summary: Roman thought Virgil was in the fuck-Janus club too but realises he is in fact the only member.

AN: I’ll try to keep this updated so my work is easier to find.  (Hey @lance-alt , It’s nearing 1:30 am BUT I made it cuz you asked. Hope this helps. :) Love ya bud)

[thebestestboyo]

How Remus Started Working For Patton: Part 5

Masterpost

Tw: Remus being Remus/Swearing/Drug Mention/Drinking Coffee

While it took some getting used to, Remus was immensely pleased at his newfound membership to the Anacondas.

Not ONLY did he have another person to annoy the shit out of daily (this position was held by Dee and Virgil exclusively, as well as his brother), but he also was able to pop by and bring Pat on his adventures so he could feel that fuzzy sensation in his chest.

Ree still couldn't determine why he felt that way, but he supposed it was because Pat would listen to him ramble without telling him that it was stupid.

Or maybe it was because he was pretty? He was remarkably attractive, whether in a skirt or in a pair of jeans, and his hair seemed softer than even that dead rabbit Virgil dared him to touch once. Whether that was because the rabbit was dead or because Patton was Patton, it didn't matter. But even then, Remus had met plenty of attractive people! And he didn't usually have this reaction, at least, not one this soft.

Maybe it was the danger? Pat was part of a crime organization. Remus always did like the danger of doing things most people saw as dangerous or scandalous, but it didn't feel particularly high stakes yet. The most risky encounter they had was that damned seagull chasing after them. (Remus was going to kill that bird one of these days...)

He supposed he'd have to ask his brother. Grosssssss. Remus hated asking his brother for advice, it always was some fairytale crap or something similar. But, as Virgil wasn't home, and he was NOT going to ask Patton (that would be embarrassing), Dee (they're brothers) or Logan (he's not too good at emotions), he had no other choice.

So that's why he was standing on the balcony of Roman's apartment, hair full of leaves, sighing for what seemed like the twentieth time as Roman continued to not notice him.

"Oh brother dorkest!~ It is me, your evil twin! Get your gay ass out here!"

That seemed to do the trick, well, to some degree. It at least made Roman jump, turning his head to look through the window at him.

Not too long after, it also caused him to finally open the window! Spectacular.

"Remus you know I have a front door."

"Oh but it's just so much more fun to see your reaction when I use unconventional means! Remember when I used your vent system?"

"Yeah, and you nearly fell through it. To what do I owe the displeasure of a meeting with you?" Despite his words, Roman was clearly biting back a smile.

Hopping through the open frame, Remus began to pace around the apartment, leaving a trail of leaves in his wake. It had been windy outside, he couldn't help it!

"I am facing an emotional dilemma!"

"Dilemma? Who taught you these fancy words? Where is my real brother???" Roman crossed his arms where he stood, leaning up against the wall in amusement.

"Oh shut your butt. Seriously though, I am facing problems and all my other friends are unable to help at this time."

"That's a first."

Remus ran a hand through his hair, wishing he had put a braid in it or something. Normally he'd be fine with it full of leaves, he'd had worse, but right now he was on edge and he'd prefer if there wasn't the crinkly sound every time he moved. "Its with this guy dipshit! This guy that for whatever reason I cannot understand why he enjoys my presence."

With that statement, Roman's demeanor changed drastically. Making his way over to his brother, he sat him down on the couch. "This seems like a problem in which we'll need some coffee. You still like yours the same?"

Ree simply nodded, still stewing over his emotions.

His brother came back holding two mugs, one that was coffee only in name, and the other that was some amalgamation of cream cheese, sriracha sauce, and hot fudge.

He handed the abomination to Remus, sipping his own. "Ok spill."

"So a few weeks back, I met this guy. And I thought it would be like all my other flings ya know? Chill, not much expectations, and ending after about a week. But this guy is just, pure sunshine. He and I flirt a bit, and he's pretty cuddly but as far as I can tell he sees me as a friend. But I don't know how I see him, because whenever I'm around him I get this dizzy feeling and it's like being drunk and taking hallucinogenics at the same time??"

"Ah so you're in love with him!!!"

Remus nearly spit out his drink at how sudden it was. "Excuse me??"

"You're in love!!!"

"That's ridiculous! I don't do that! The most I have is a one night stand! A fling if I'm particularly bored! I don't do 'in love' my dearest bother." Making air quotes with his free hand, he continued sipping his drink, if you could call it that.

Seriously. What was even in it??? It looked disgusting! But for some reason Remus kept drinking it??? What a madman.

"Well, tell me about this guy then."

"What???"

"For curiosity's sake! It's been so long since I've had a relationship so I'm projecting to yours."

"Haven't gotten laid recently?" Remus wiggled his eyebrows, knocking elbows with him to see if he'd spill his drink.

"Ugh!! Vulgar, he'd at least have to buy me dinner first." Ro swiped his mug away before the mountain of whipped cream was disturbed, frowning. "But seriously! What's this guy like?"

"If you want the basic description, he's cute as fuck. If you want the less basic description, he's quite possibly the only guy who I would want to slow dance with since...collage at least."

"Wow, slow dancing??"

"I KNOW right??? He's got these pretty-ass eyes and whenever I look into them I just melt and he's so soft that when he hugs me I'm just a puddle of blood and guts on the floor and I'd let him tear the heart from my chest if he asked."

"Wow. That's...that is a crush. That my dear brother, is a crush!"

"Ugh shut up. So what's up with your life right now? Make any new musicals?"

Roman's face lit up, and then dimmed almost immediately after. He didn't meet Ree's eyes as he spoke, slowly stirring his drink. "Well..."

"Well what?"

"I did, but it was rejected again."

"That's bullshit! Your scripts are amazing! Even if they lack the blood and gore, they're some of the best pieces I've ever read! That cock of a publishing company should be begging for your works!"

"It's really not that big of a deal...they were unpolished anyways."

"I'm going to commit arson soon enough."

"Remus no! I'll just try some of the other publishers. I'll have to work twice as hard, but maybe one of them will like it..."

As Remus looked at his brother, he noticed the dark circles under his eyes and how his body curled into itself, as if it was barely staying together.

"Dipshit...you haven't been sleeping well huh?"

A shake of his head was all Remus needed to set both of their mugs down on the coffee table, lifting up his brother. "You need a break. I don't trust you not to work yourself to death."

"Remus no, I have to get working on the next-"

"Nope! I'm taking you to my pal's place. He'll watch after you. I'm going to work soon, so I'd do it myself, but he's second best."

"Please tell me you aren't leaving me at a bar."

"Nope! Logan doesn't drink. Says it messes with his brain's 'structural integrity' or something."

Roman, used to his antics, simply wrapped his arms around Remus, leaning into him as he grumbled something he couldn't hear.

"Don't worry, I'll grab your keys so you can get back in. He's nice I swear!"

"If I end up dead in an alley I'm haunting you."

"Virgil would hate that. He already thinks we have ghosts in our apartment, you'd be the final straw before he buys an ouija board."

They talked quietly as Remus grabbed some of Roman's important stuff, then heading out. Thankfully, no one bothered them on the walk over, and Remus didn't have much problem knocking on the stained door of Logan's place, which, in his words, 'serves as my workplace as well as my domicile so Remus kindly stop bothering my cat.'

"Hey Locoooooooooo!"

There was banging from inside as his only answer unfortunately, so Remus assumed that he was in his lab.

Time to let himself in! Roman had fallen asleep on his shoulder by now, so he couldn't set him down to crawl through a window. Crap. Might as well use the keys then.

Maneuvering his grip, he managed to grab them from his pocket, stepping in. Entropy, who was sitting on her cat tower, merely blinked at him before hopping off, most likely to go find Logan.

"Lo-comotive!"

"Remus I swear if your roommate threw you out again because you messed with a skunk-"

Ah! There he was. He must have been working with one of his machines again, when he came out to greet him, he was wearing his metal-working mask. "Hi Logie!~"

"Hello Remus. Why does it appear as if you're carrying a dead body?"

"This is my brother! I told you about him before. He needs someone to watch after him so he actually rests for once in his goddamned life."

Roman, who had awoken by now from all the noise, struggled to get out of Remus's arms. "I'm not a child-"

"I can't watch him right now since I have to go work at Hell Incorporated-" He made a face, disgusted at even the mention of his office job, "-so I thought you could?"

Logan turned up his mask, looking closer at Roman, his face...red? Wait what? It was probably because the machine tended to get hot. Or...

"Remus, you want me to nanny your twin brother?"

"Yep! He's an incorrigible little menace that won't sleep unless you force him to or he passes out from exhaustion."

"This is a grown man we are discussing?"

Piping up from his struggle to get down, Roman turned to look at Logan. "Exactl-"

His intended speech cut off as he locked eyes, exhaling a little bit at the sight. "oh."

Glancing between the two of them, Remus noticed the redness on both of their cheeks, and wanting to see none of whatever stirred up his brother, simply pushed him into Logan's twig arms. "I'll be back soon!"

Both turned to look at him, startled looks on both their faces.

"Remus!"

He was already out the door, snickering.

[kys0g0i]

Sweet and Soft

Pairing(s): Romantic Roceit, Mentioned Romantic Analogical

Started: November 13th, 2019, 7:47 PM

Finished: January 26th, 2020, 1:00 AM

Word Count: 1374 words

Warning: N/a, if there is please tell me

— — —

It hadn’t started off as much, his friendship with Roman. It was strange, awkward, even, getting to know one another. But Deceit had grown to love it, always looking forward to spending time with the prince. Whether it was watching Disney movies, acting together, or simply laying together in comfortable silence. Slowly, as time had gone on, Deceit had found himself swooning over Roman. And, for a while, he hid it well. He didn’t let his hands slip into Roman’s when walking through one of Roman’s newest creations in the Imagination, no matter how perfect it would be to do so. He didn’t dare express different amounts of affection then he did before, not wanting to risk the chance of letting himself even hint at his romantic feelings for him. He refused to let himself cup the side of Roman’s face, staring deeply into his beautiful dark hazel eyes that he couldn’t help but get lost in at any chance possible, before pulling him in for a kiss. What he would give to kiss his lips for just a quick moment. He wondered if it would be like he imagined how it would be. But... if there was one thing he knew about secrets... they never stay secrets forever.

He could remember the day like the back of his hand, after all, how could he forget such a magnificent point in his life? He remembered, one day while Roman and he had been hanging out together, sitting on the prince’s bed while watching Beauty and the Beast, Deceit had let something slip. It was just a tiny, insignificant mistake, and yet, made such a difference in both of their lives. When the Beast and Belle had been dancing in the ballroom, clearly falling in love, Deceit had softly laughed to himself, glancing over to the prince with a longing look. “Wish that /wasn’t/ us.” He lied to himself and had unknowingly muttered out loud, just loud enough for Roman to hear. Instantly, Roman’s face flushed light rosy pink, his hazel eyes slightly widened in shock as he looked over to the half-snake side.

“W-What?” He questioned, stumbling over his words. It had then taken Deceit a moment to put it together that want he thought that he had said in his mind, had actually been said. Panicked, he quickly corrected himself. “I mean! I do wish it was us!” He hurriedly said, but the damage had already been done.

“...Deceit...” Roman quietly said, leaning over to him as both of their faces turned bright red. He stopped moving when his face was just centimeters from Deceit’s. “...That was pretty gay of you.” The two of them tried their best to not laugh at such a statement, but in the end, failed as they both burst out laughing. It took a while until both of them could get their laughter under control, and then they did, there was a new feeling in the room that Deceit couldn’t quite describe. Couldn’t quite tell if it were good or not. After that, nothing had been said, but something had changed. But it wasn’t bad. No, it was very much so the opposite. It gave Deceit hope for the future as the prince slipped his hand into his own gloved one. And, from then on, things only proceeded to get better.

Deceit noticed that he was happier, being together with Roman. More relaxed. More confident. He felt so much better in general, and the prince seemed to have the same effect happen to him. While they had only cuddled and held hands, not kissed, he planned to change that soon. And, if Roman took it well, which he hoped he will, he would suggest telling the others. Surely they would be understanding and accepting? After all, Virgil and Logan were dating, and Virgil used to be a dark side. (Or at least, that’s what they all called themselves, Virgil, Remus, and Deceit. He liked the title Roman had made for them; they all grew to.) So, here Deceit was, in his own room setting up a movie and a few blankets and pillows to lay on. Then, halfway through the movie, he would lean in, brush the hair out of Roman’s face, and kiss him.

“Dee?” Called a familiar voice after a few knocks, and Deceit couldn’t help but smile to himself as he identified the voice to be Roman. Quickly pushing down the smile, he got up and went to his door, opening it to see a slightly flustered and excited looking prince. It was their first date in Deceit’s room since they got together.

“Roman.” Deceit greeted, not being able to repress a tiny smile at the sight of his prince. “I thought we could watch a movie together. I /won’t/ let you pick it?” He suggested, and Roman’s excitement only grew. He nodded happily, taking the snake’s hand and leading him to the nest of blankets and pillows he had made on his bed with a dark grey laptop next to it. The two got into a soft spot, having to objection or hesitation to immediately start cuddling.

After Roman picked out a movie (The Princess and The Frog, of course) and got it to start playing, Deceit took his hat off, throwing it to the side before burying his head into his lover’s shoulder. He let his fluffy hair that was usually held back by his hat fall near his mismatched eyes, not bothering to brush it away as he was too comfortable to do so. He relished the feeling of the prince wrapping a protective arm around him. It felt like a soft, warm, fuzzy blanket on a cold winter’s day, holding him steady as snow fluttered to the white covered ground. He just felt so... safe. So at home.

So loved.

He never wanted the feeling to go away.

By the end of the movie, the two boyfriends were in delightful moods and hadn’t moved an inch away from one another the entire movie. But, despite the fact that Deceit was glad to be able to spend such a calm time with his favorite side, as the ending lyrics of the final song played, he couldn’t help but feel a little bit of nervousness for what might come with the risk he was about to willingly take. He hated it. He wasn’t Anxiety. He is Deceit. He‘s strong. Fearless. He shouldn’t be anxious to do this.

Deceit jumped in the surprise as he felt Roman start to move away, shifting so that he would be able to see him better. Reaching over to put his hat back on his head, and pushing his hair back, he spoke. “Well, that was /not/ enjoyable.” He lied, unable to stop himself due to his spiked nerves.

Roman smiled and nodded. “Yeah, I really enjoyed that, love.” He said, the warmth in his voice and the nickname ‘love’ sending shivers down Deceit’s back all the way to the tips of his fingers and toes. “We should do that again sometime. Next time you can pick the movie, and-...!”

Deceit mostly tuned out his lover’s excited speech, his mind slowly shifting from the movie ideas to what he had planned to do since the beginning of this. To kiss Roman... what would it feel like? His light pink lips... it had to be soft, like heaven. Would it taste sweet? Would it be perfect? Would it feel like he was being swept off his feet, spun around, and like nothing was wrong in the world? Would-

“Can I kiss you?” Deceit suddenly asked, dazed and starry-eyed. He wasn’t even fully aware he had said the question until he found himself staring at a terribly blushing Roman. And, for a while, the two sat in silence, lips inches away from one other. The distance seemed too much for Deceit, and he wondered if his royal lover felt the same way. He would give anything to close that distance. But, finally, after what felt like thousands of lifetimes, Roman responded, his voice soft and quiet.

“...If you want to kiss me, then do it...”

So, he did. And he was right.

It was sweet, and soft.

[villlainarc]

Watching the Sunrise Replace the Moon

I’ll be taking my time, spending my life

Falling deeper in love with you

Summary: In which Roman tries to give Deceit the world, only to find that they don’t need it.

Pairing: Roceit

Warnings: self-esteem/self-worth issues, ending where the problem isn’t exactly resolved, per say, (because the problem described in the fic can’t be solved with just one conversation and i am decidedly Not roman’s therapist and don’t feel qualified to completely solve his problem in a way that’s like. Healthy™), so i’d say it’s like. a hopeful ending? definitely not unhappy, just not completely perfect yet.

Word Count: 2038

A/N: based on this prompt and the tags left by @sleepless-in-starbucks on their reblog of it

(also: translations for roman’s pet names are at the end)

ao3

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Deceit deserved the world.

Roman had decided this from the moment he’d fallen in love with them, but his suspicions had been proven ten times over after they’d begun dating. They deserved the world, and Roman’s only wish was to show that to them.

Or, at the very least, he could somehow express how much they meant to him. It wasn’t the world, but it would have to do.

_________________________

“Good morning, mi luz.”

Dee groaned, rubbing their eyes to clear them. “What time is it? And why are you not lying next to me?”

“I made you breakfast, Dee,” Roman said, placing the plate on their nightstand with a smile. “And if you’d like, you can come watch the sunrise with me.”

“Mm, the sunrise is pretty. Almost as pretty as you,” Dee replied, blinking slowly as a smirk spread across their face.

“You’re sweet, but I would have done this even without you lying to me.”

Dee straightened slightly. “My darling, I promise I would never lie to you, especially not about something as indisputable as your beauty which, now that I think about it, is far, far greater than that of any sunrise.”

Caught off guard, Roman blushed. “I’m supposed to be the one flustering you this morning,” he pouted.

“Oh, did I fluster you, then?” Dee was sitting up completely now, their blinking and smile turned innocent.

Roman huffed fondly, throwing the nearest item of clothing at Dee—their cape. “You’re insufferable, you know that?”

“Of course I do, love.”

“Good. Now, get dressed, mon rêve. The sunrise waits for no one.”

_________________________

“Roman, my darling, my dear, what’s this on the mirror?”

“It’s a heart, and it’s for you, mon cœur.”

“You’re too sweet,” Dee said with a soft laugh, poking their head out of the bathroom to place a quick kiss on Roman’s cheek.

“Only the sweetest for you, dolcezza.”

_________________________

“I have a gift for you,” Roman said, bringing a small, velvet box out from behind his back.

Dee peered at him over the pages of their book, one eyebrow raised. “Proposing already?”

Roman laughed. “Not quite, mi tesoro. It’s only been a month, have some patience.”

“Well then, what’s in the box?”

“I’m so glad you asked,” Roman said, walking over to their chair and setting himself lightly on the armrest of it. He opened the box carefully, revealing a necklace glittering in an array of colors with earrings to match. “You complained about a tragic lack of rubies in your life—and jewelry box—the other day, so—”

Dee silenced him with a kiss, pulling back with a soft smile on their face and a sparkle in their eyes. “I didn’t think you’d remember that.”

“Of course I did, Dee.” Roman matched their smile. “I take it you like them?”

“Oh, Roman, I love them, and I love you.” They wrapped their arms around his neck and pulled him in for another kiss before asking, “Can I try them on?”

“But of course. They are yours, after all,” Roman replied, pulling the necklace out of the box and clipping it around Dee’s neck. He leaned back, admiring them. “Beautiful,” he breathed.

“Me, or the necklace?” Dee teased, a light smirk on their face as they hung the second earring from their ear lobe.

“You. Always you.”

_________________________

“Where are we?”

“Still the Imagination, mi sol. We haven’t gone anywhere.”

There was a playful twinkle in Roman’s eye that Dee couldn’t see—what with their own eyes being closed and all—but seemed to be able to hear anyway. They laughed in response, saying, “You know what I mean, you dork.”

“That I did,” Roman said, kissing their cheek. “Just one moment, vida mía. You’ll see.”

There was a moment of quiet as Roman fluffed out a picnic blanket and scattered a few light pink cherry blossom petals over it. He snapped his fingers and a picnic basket appeared at one end before he snapped once more to put the finishing touches on their surroundings. “You can open your eyes now, Dee.”

They did so, blinking in the late afternoon sunlight as it reflected off their scales and became entwined in their eyelashes. “Paris?” Dee’s voice came out as an almost reverent whisper, eyes wide in awe as they gazed up at the perfect replica of the Eiffel Tower standing tall and proud across the grounds from them.

“Paris,” Roman confirmed, grinning. “What do you think?”

“Roman, it’s gorgeous. I can’t imagine how much time it must have taken you to make this—” they gestured to the green grass, the cherry trees in full bloom, the Eiffel Tower itself, “—so detailed and so vibrant.”

“It was nothing, really,” Roman said sheepishly, rubbing at the back of his neck.

“You are…” Dee shook their head fondly, barely holding back a laugh. “You are too much, in the best possible way.”

“Why, thank you, ma fée. I try my best.”

This time, Dee did laugh. “You were using Spanish nicknames earlier. Was that just to throw me off?”

“Did it work?”

“It would appear so, wouldn’t it?” they said with a smirk, pulling Roman down to the picnic blanket beside them. “What food did you bring? All that waiting stirred up quite the appetite.”

“Only your favorites, of course.”

“Of course, how could I have expected anything but the best from you?”

“How could you have indeed.”

_________________________

“Dee?”

“Yes, my darling?”

“Are you free tonight?”

“Why, do you have plans?”

“No, we have plans,” Roman corrected. “As long as you aren’t busy, of course.”

“Hm, I suppose I could spare a night,” they replied, a teasing glimmer in their mismatched eyes. “What’s the occasion?”

“Does there have to be an occasion to celebrate the fact that I’m dating the most wonderful person to have ever graced the earth with their presence?”

“Sssstop,” Dee hissed, covering their face that was currently flaming a brilliant shade of red.

“Never,” Roman said with a triumphant grin, burying a kiss in their hair. “See you in a few hours, mea columba.”

_________________________

Roman dropped the last of the rose petals in his hand onto the circular table in the middle of a ballroom that was currently functioning as a romantic, candlelit dining room, letting out a sigh of relief. There. Now all he needed to do was wait for Dee to arrive.

He sat himself down in a velvet-covered chair, crossing one leg over the other as he reclined in it, always keeping one eye on the path of rose petals Dee would be sure to follow.

Sure enough, not a minute later, Roman heard the click of heels on marble approaching. “Roman, I love you dearly, but I do think a castle is a bit excessive as far as places to host dinners go, and— oh,” they said, voice trailing off into a whisper as they rounded the corner.

‘Oh’ was right, Roman thought as he stood and made his way over to them, making a conscious effort to stop his jaw from dropping. Deceit looked… perfect. They wore a slinky dress made of deep golden silk, their neck and ears adorned with the ruby jewelry Roman recognized as his own gift to them. Beneath the candlelight, their face sparkled with traces of glittery makeup, and their effortlessly tousled hair made Roman’s heart nearly stop.

He was… so gay.

“You look stunning, ocelle mi,” he whispered to them, taking their hand in his own and leaving a light kiss on it.

“And you’re not so bad yourself,” Dee replied, their eyes sweeping over Roman’s red and white suit before lingering on his lips. “I like the lipstick,” they smiled coyly, gazing out at them from behind long lashes.

“Dinner,” Roman squeaked in the most dignified manner possible, offering out his arm.

“As you wish, dear heart.”

_________________________

After the room had filled with saccharine conversations and laughter and their stomachs had filled with rich food and wine, Roman led Dee away from the table, which vanished into thin air with a wave of his hand. He twirled them once, showing off the newly empty room.

“A ballroom? You’re so romantic.” Dee brought both hands fluttering to their chest in what looked to Roman like a mocking approximation of a swoon.

Roman scoffed lightly. “I’m doing the bare minimum—not even well. You don’t have to lie to me, I’m not quite that fragile.”

Frowning, Dee took a step closer. “I’m not lying. I’ve told you, I won’t ever lie to you. You’ve been so sweet to me for as long as I can remember, since the beginning of last month especially. Everything you’ve done is— it’s been perfect, and perfectly romantic.”

“Yes, well… my point still stands,” Roman stated, forcing a smile, hiding his pain. “You deserve more than what I can give you. You deserve the world.”

“I— no. Roman, sweetness, my light, my angel, my prince, I hope you know how incredibly wrong you are. Who you are is more than I could ever ask for, not to mention everything you’ve been so wonderful as give me.”

“But it’s still. Not. Enough. You— you’re you, and I’m me and I don’t know how but I’ve somehow tricked you into thinking that you love me.”

Dee paused, hand suspended in midair where it had been reaching out to comfort Roman. “Darling, you don’t truly believe that, do you?”

“I—”

“Come here, my love.” The prospect of dancing a distant memory, Deceit conjured a plush settee before settling onto it. Roman reluctantly sat down next to them on it, curling slightly in on himself.

“Look, it’s— it’s fine. Forget I said anything.” Trying for another smile, Roman made a show of fixing his appearance, throwing back his shoulders and brushing a stray hair out of his face. “I love you, Dee,” he added, hoping desperately that they truly would forget what he’d said and pretend this conversation had never happened.

“I love you too, Roman,” Dee said gently, “but I can’t do that. I can’t just… forget that you don’t think I love you unconditionally and without pretense. Because I do, and nothing you have said or will say is going to change that.”

Roman shifted, his suit suddenly feeling suffocatingly tight.

“You’ve made me the luckiest person alive, and there’s no one who knows that better than I do. Roman, I love you, and you deserve that. The fact that you love me in return is all I need, and I know that you do; everything you’ve ever done for me proves that and then some. Now, what can I do to convince you of that?”

“I— I don’t know. I just— I can’t— I don’t believe that. I don’t know why. I’m sorry.”

Dee looked at him with a touch of melancholy in their gaze, but continued a moment later in an impossibly gentle tone. “That’s okay, love. Can I hold you?”

Roman nodded, relaxing into Deceit’s arms. “It feels like I’m— like I’m broken.” He felt himself shuddering slightly. “I’m sorry,” he whispered again.

“Shh, none of that. You don’t need to be sorry for not knowing, and you don’t need to be sorry for feeling broken. I will do everything in my power to prove to you that you’re wrong though, and I will wait for however long it takes for you to understand that I am telling the truth when I say that I love you—all of you, supposed flaws included—more than words give me the power to express.”

Roman felt a soft smile spreading over his face. “I don’t deser—” he cut himself off in the middle of the word before stretching up to press a kiss to Dee’s jaw, deciding instead on, “I love you.”

“Much better.” Dee returned the kiss, laying theirs softly on Roman’s forehead. “I promise we’ll talk more later, but for now,” they said, sweeping Roman off the settee and into their arms, “how about that dance?”

The settee vanished with a wave of Roman’s hand as Deceit set him back on the ground. A very real smile spread across his face as he bowed over their hand, placing a kiss on it. “I’d be honored,” he replied.

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translations for Roman’s nicknames in chronological order:

mi luz (Spanish): my light

mon rêve (French): my dream

mon cœur (French): my heart

dolcezza (Italian): sweetness

mi tesoro (Spanish): my treasure

mi sol (Spanish): my sun/sunshine

vida mía (Spanish): my life

ma fée (French): my fairy

mea columba (Latin): my dove

ocelle mi (Latin): my little gem/apple of my eye (literally: my little eye, but used by Roman poets to mean one of/something similar to one of the former)

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