#((good call! saves you from having to write a separate starter))

[phoebepheebsphibs]

How To Be A First-Time Dad of Four Turtles

Title: How To Be A First-Time Dad of Four Turtles Prompt: New dad Splinter (Rise), very unprepared, but doing the best he can! Fandom:  ROTTMNT Word Count: 2230  Author: PhoebePheebsPhibs Rating:  Gen Characters:  Yoshi Hamato / Splinter, Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael, & Michelangelo Warning: Donnie bites Summary: Notes: No Beta, We Die Like Gram-Gram!

@untitled-tmnt-blog @tmnt-write-fight

Link to AO3 <-

"There, that should do it," Yoshi stated as he pinned up the last set of string lights.

He'd found a little sale, where some family was moving out of their apartment and needed to get rid of some junk. Yoshi still had his savings in a private account that (fortunately) Big Mama didn't know about. He'd dipped into it to buy a couple things, just for starters. He wasn't sure living in the sewers was the life for him or his new... kids?

He just needed some time to get used to it.

Anyway, that little estate sale had plenty of supplies that he could use or refurbish. He'd bought an entire box of lights, plastic tupperware and eating utensils and plates and bowls, some throw blankets, a baby stool, a few plastic bins and buckets, and a series of extension cords. He'd get more whenever he could.

Yoshi had discovered a small area of the sewers during his escape from the Hidden City that seemed rather roomy, and would work out wonderfully for renovations. There were multiple rooms that connected via mini tunnels and corridors into a large expansion, perfect for training in.

Training... for what, exactly? He wasn't 'Lou Jitsu' anymore. He wasn't Yoshi anymore, either. He'd thrown that name and identity away years ago, when he left his Grandpa Shō.

Still... he needed to do something or else he'd lose his mind. He'd found a yoga mat in a dumpster and stole 'repurposed' it so he could do some exercises whenever he got the free time.

"Waaaaaaaahhhh!!"

Which was seeming less and less likely...

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Yoshi shouted out, rushing from his redecorating section and speeding into the opposite room.

He'd left the baby turtles in a plastic bin under a heat lamp in the other room, and had hoped that he could do his work while they basked in the warmth alone. No such luck.

Clingy little things...

"I'm here, I'm here!" he proclaimed as he entered the room, sliding in and kneeling besides the bin, leaning over to inspect the babies. "What's wrong??"

The slider and the softshell were fighting again, nibbling and smacking each other and occaisionally bumping into the other two and disturbing them.

"Oh, you two..." Yoshi groaned, reaching in to pull them apart. "Why can't you just -- Ow! Hey! No biting!"

Yoshi tugged at the two babies, gently tearing them away from each other. They made upset little beeps and chirps at him in response, the slider squirming in his left hand and the softshell wriggling in his right. 

"Now, can you two behave for five minutes, or do I have to put you in time-out?"

He wasn't actually sure why he asked them. It wasn't as if they could understand what he was saying.

But the understood the tone.

The quieted down quickly.

"Very good... now, please, please just behave yourselves so I can finish working on the rest of our... home."

It still hurt to call this mass heap of bricks and slime and mold 'home'. Just like it hurt to call these glorified pets his 'kids'.

It had only been two days. He just... needed to give it some time.

Yeah... give it time.

"Waah! Wah! Wah!"

Uh-huh. Right.

"Okay, that's it!" Yoshi shouted, having reached the end of his rope. "Time-out! You two are going in... in, uh... different boxes! That's what! See how you like that!"

In anger, he grabbed the two arguing turtles again and dropped them into separate containers, then placed them beside the biggest one where the other two turtles sat in confusion, wondering where the slider and the softshell had gone.

The two naughty little turtles, trapped in their separate prisons, started making all kinds of noises. The purple-tinted softshell was beeping and clicking furiously at Yoshi, snapping and biting the edges of his plastic container. The slider with the blue shell was making loud wails as he pouted, slapping the walls of his box and begging to be returned to his 'brother'.

"No, you can't be fight with him anymore," Yoshi scolded.

"Aaah! Wah, waaaah!"

Yoshi sighed with exhaustion and exasperation.

"...Fine. Maybe you're just hungry, hm?" Yoshi suggests. "You sit tight while I get the fruit..."

Yoshi left the four in the room, walking backwards out of the room and watching them every step of the way before turning the corner and going to the room designated as a 'kitchen'. It had a tiny overturned box he pulled from a dumpster and a mini fridge he'd found in an alleyway. New York, what a town... Yoshi rooted through the tiny refrigerator and pulled out a container of half-priced strawberries, chopped them up into itty bitty slices and dumped them onto a little plastic plate. For an added touch, he took a few leaves of lettuce and placed them on the plate as well. Once he was finished, he took the plate back into the room with the others.

"What the -- Hey! You! No!!"

The softshell had literally eaten his way through the plastic box and was starting to chew through the slider's box as well. Surprisingly, the slider was very happy about this and seemed to be cheering his 'brother' on.

Yoshi dropped the plate and ran over to the turtles, grabbing the softshell and yanking him away from the bin.

No one was happy about this.

The turtles started yiping and yowling at him, especially the slider. The softshell took it as a personal offense and defended himself accordingly, twisting his head around and biting down hard on Yoshi's thumb.

"OW!!"

Yoshi clenched his fist and had to fight every knee-jerk reaction to drop the turtle, throw it, or flap his hand to get the child to let go. He released the turtle, but it still held on.

"Let go!" Yoshi shouted, trying to pull him off. He could almost hear the skin on his finger tearing. "Let go!!"

He pulled again, and the baby turtle suddenly yelped. Yoshi had pulled him too hard.

Yoshi released him again, and the baby turtle let go of his thumb, scrambling out of his 'father's' hold and hiding beside the box that still held the slider.

The four creatures watched in terror as Yoshi's thumb began to bleed.

It was silent.

Yoshi felt his face go red-hot with frustration. He yelled loudly. Just yelled, unbottled his anger and pain and... yelled. He shouted out no words, simply expelled his fury at the situation, his fury with the new life he was forced into, the squalor he had been reduced to, the pain of losing everything and suddenly being bridled with four ungrateful kids that couldn't be left alone for fifteen minutes without starting some situation. Once Yoshi had finished yelling his lungs out... he sobbed.

Yoshi wept and wept, the heaviness he'd felt on his shoulders crushing him to the floor. His tears pooled around him, soaking his pants he doubled over, unable to catch his breath. Everything was just too much. He'd lost the love of his life, he'd lost his dream profession, he'd lost his looks and livelihood, he'd lost the last family member he had, he'd lost it all. Everything. And Yoshi sobbed like a baby. 

Not his best moment.

Yoshi only stopped when he heard the weeping and wailing of four tiny babies by his side.

His head rose from his knees, glancing up in panic at the four children.

The softshell was sobbing desperately, cowering in fear at Splinter, afraid... afraid of him? Of his anger?

No, no... he was afraid for him.

The little boxshell turtle was wailing hysterically, clawing at the walls of his box, trying to get to Yoshi. The snapping turtle was crying as well, though not as loudly. The red-eared slider was whimpering and weeping as well, hands pressed against the wall and trying to push it away or push it down, trying to get to Yoshi as well.

Yoshi hiccuped, breathing in quickly as he realized what he'd done.

"Oh, oh, no no no -- I'm so sorry, my little ones, I'm so sorry -- I-I didn't mean to scare you..."

Yoshi reached into each box and picked the babies up, cradling them close. The boxshell kept crying, burying his little face into Yoshi's furry chest as he wiped his tears away. The slider also started rubbing his tiny face across Yoshi's shirt, trying to hug his father while also hiding his wet and gloppy tears. The Snapping turtle wrapped his tail around the rat-man's wrist as he gripped hand, hugging him tight and churring softly against his arm, trying to calm the both of them down. Yoshi started crying softly again as he held each one close to his heart, trying to soothe them. He heard a soft clicking chirp and glanced up to see the softshell somberly creeping towards him, suck-up sniffing as he came towards his toes. He tried to mew out a meager apology as he circled his foot.

Yoshi reached his hand out for him, hoping he would accept the invitation despite all that had just happened between the two of them.

Fortunately, he did, and crawled onto Yoshi's palm, sniveling as he did.

"I'm sorry," Yoshi whispered, bringing the little guy up to his face and nuzzling him with his snout and whiskers. The baby gripped his face and smushed his own snout against him, whimpering as their tears melted together. "I'm so sorry, my son. I didn't mean to scare you or hurt you. I won't do it again..."

The baby cooed at him, nuzzling him gently and patting his cheeks. He accepted the apology.

"Maybe... maybe you need more space than just a box, hm?" he wondered aloud.

He decided to let them roam the room instead, using the box as a makeshift baby-gate to blockade the door so they wouldn't escape. He also cleaned up the fruit and lettuce from where he'd dropped it on the floor. He left the plate out in the center of the room, close to where he sat so he could keep an eye on them.

The little slider nibbled on the lettuce a bit before running around excitedly. He seemed to love the extra space.

The snapping turtle lumbered after him, giddily giggling as he waddled around.

The sat messily munching on the strawberries, covering himself in the juices and skins.

The softshell wandered around the room, sniffing everything and inspecting it all. He growled if the slider got to energetic too close to him. The slider never figured it out.

"Boys, behave," Yoshi reminded them. "I'll still put you in the box if I have to."

That was mostly a joke. But you could tell that they believed him, because they made sure not to get into any fights. At least, nothing bad. They roughhoused a little. But all in good fun.

Yoshi exhaled and laid down on the floor, exhausted beyond all comprehension. The tiny little boxshell turtle chirped at him, almost asking if he was alright.

"I'm fine, just tired," Yoshi replied.

"Peep?"

"Because I've been working on fixing up our home all day. And I just cried a lot. Crying is tiring work."

"Peep, peep?"

"I don't know why. It just is."

"Peep!"

Yoshi felt somthing kneading agaisnt his ribs. He rolled his head over to see the sticky little critter trying to climb up his side.

He chuckled at the sight before helping the littlest one up.

"There we go, that's better, right? All high up now. I bet you can see the whole room," Yoshi joked.

The little baby sat proudly on his father's stomach, surveying the entire room and watching as his brothers played and explored. He then turned and waddled over to Yoshi's chest, rubbing himself clean on his shirt as he did so.

"Yes, thank you for that," Yoshi sighed. "You'll still need a bath, though."

"Peep!"

The little turtle's chirp sounded almost like a laugh. Yoshi chuckled back.

"You know... since you really are my sons now... I suppose you'll need names. Let's see..."

Yoshi elevated himself up on his elbows, studying the tiny baby boy on his chest carefully. He was tiny, had bright yellow spots and some orange-yellow markings on his shell as well.

"...How about 'Sonny'?"

'Sonny' spat his tongue out at Yoshi and blew raspberries at him.

"Okay, okay, maybe not. What about Shelly?"

The baby cocked his head to the side, almost to question his father's mental state if he actually thought that name was a good choice for him.

"You're a picky kid. Fine, fine, I'm sure I can come up with something clever soon... How about for now, I call you 'Orange'? Is that okay?"

The baby turtle plopped himself down, purring quietly. Good enough for now, it seemed.

"Then if you're 'Orange', let's call your snapping turtle brother 'Red', the softshell 'Purple', and the slider 'Blue'. That way I can tell you all apart! I'll get some little handkerchiefs or something to wrap around your shells so I can remember..."

Yoshi sighed.

"...I still have so much work to do..."

He looked out over the group of toddlers, running around and playing as 'Orange' started to fall asleep on his Dad's stomach, comforted by his warmth and one-sided conversation.

"...But I suppose you're all worth it," he smiled.

[pudding-parade]

Tutorial: Importing an existing world into CAW

Note: I did not write this tutorial! I copy/pasted it from here. I just don't have confidence that TS3 websites will remain viable in the long term, so I'm preserving this mostly for my own future reference. But, maybe it will be helpful for other folks like me who aren't very CAW-savvy and just want to make some edits to an existing world in ways that you can't do in-game. The slightly edited original post is pasted behind the cut.

1) Install the world in the usual way in your fresh game folder. If it is a real prerequisite, in that Riverview objects are used in the world, you'll need to install Riverview too. Of course this also goes for Barnacle Bay or any other custom world EA may release separately. This is also a good time to check in your Installed Items whether any "foreign" CC came with it.

2) Start CAW and make a new world. It will ask for a .png, press the … box and you'll get a few 'starters', choose any. Accept all the rest and OK. You don't need to worry about parameters for your world as they will be overwritten later anyway. Save As the new world with a name you will use temporarily, not the definitive name you want to give it. Let's call it Temp.world for now. Close CAW.

3) Open S3PE and browse to the The Sims 3 Create A World Tool\UserToolData\Worlds and you'll find your Temp.world file. Open it.

4) Use Resource->Import->From package… and browse to your The Sims 3\InstalledWorlds and open the world file you want to "import". Accept the default settings for Import, when it asks you to save between packages, say No. It will show a progress bar so you'll know it's done. This may take a while.

5) Sort the resources by Type (click the "header") and find UNKN 0x296A6258 there. If all is well you should have two, one already deleted (struck out), right-click the other and select "Deleted" to delete it too. At the bottom of the file you should have two WPID resources, one already deleted, delete the other too.

6) Use the "close" button in the upper right to close S3PE. It will tell you the package has changed, choose Yes to save the changes. The reason for doing it this way is you'll know it's done when the S3PE window closes. This may take a while.

7) Start the CAW tool and open your Temp.world. Wait until the render window shows you a reasonable picture of something in the world. This may take a while and there is no real progress indication.

8) Right-click on the Temp.world on the left pane (World Layers) and choose Add/Edit description. Make sure the Name and Description fields are filled in. You can use your final name and description here. Also make sure there is a .png for the thumbnail. If there isn't, browse up one of the samples you got earlier or make sure you have one ready. This needs to be in the 24-bit 256x256 format!

9) Save As the world with the final name, let's say Final.world. It will give you a "wait" cursor for a while and then a normal cursor. Don't touch it!! It's not done! Leave the computer to it until a window pops up informing you the world is successfully saved.

The opposite direction is quite simple, just start CAW and use "Export world". It will put a .sims3pack in your The Sims 3\Exports folder. You can take that out and put it in the Download folder and install it as usual.

[djarinbabysnotes]

FIC IDEA

Matt Murdock falls in love with a detective.

Now, hear me out: Detective moves from a different state and is now being crucified by their new coworkers in the NYPD because they're brave enough to question certain abnormalities in how criminals are being processed. Wilson Fisk is behind the corruption part of the law, as always. Detective hates how things are in the workplace and is therefore very stressed.

Matt Murdock is called upon by an old friend who needs a lawyer. Matt arrives at the precinct and has a run-in with the Detective, and the Detective's sleuthing intuition tells them that this lawyer feels like he's full of secrets. The Detective then theorizes that this lawyer is somehow working for the corrupt man on top. Tension ensues.

A cocky defense attorney? Like who does he think he is? This isn't the Detective's first rodeo when it comes to overconfident men.

Here's where it gets interesting: First off, Lawyer/Cop relationships? Isn't that like, illegal in the laws of the universe? YUP! Both parties are CONFLICTED with their feelings and therefore WILL develop a hate-fueled acquaintanceship. Workplace Enemies to Potential Secret Lovers, if you will. During investigations, Detective will have run-ins with Daredevil and will find him very interesting, to say the least. Of course, Detective doesn't know that Daredevil is Matt, even while conducting a secret investigation on the mystery hot guy with a disturbingly sexy husk in his voice (Daredevil) while ALSO conducting a separate investigation on this random annoying lawyer who ruins everything every time he walks into their workplace. Foggy and Karen will ABSOLUTELY try their very fucking best to throw off the scent (e.g. "Yeah, I met the Devil of Hell's Kitchen a couple of times. He had blond hair. Saw it myself. He also talks like he's been in jail countless times. Definitely an ex-con. Loves breaking the law." and "He saved me from an attack at my apartment, yeah, he's left-handed.")

As the Detective keeps on having run-ins with Daredevil, the Detective begins to harbor an unwanted crush on the guy. Of course, right? I mean... A guy dressed as the devil pushes you out of the way before you get shot at by a random goon? Chivalry isn't dead. Also, he flirts but purposefully makes it slightly awkward because he knows how this game works. He likes to tease. He reads body language when he has to. He would pull out the 'I like listening to your voice' line (his signature line!) on the most quiet night just to hear nothing but the Detective's heart going bonkers.

And as Matt, being the Detective's biggest pain in the ass, he would randomly switch up on a random Monday. From being the most annoyingly confident lawyer who pulls out the 'not another word with my client, detective' line to the unexpected 'good morning' followed with a 'thank you, detective' after the Detective mindlessly points him to the direction of where he's supposed to go. And to top it all off, he smiles— but not with his usual sarcastic smirk followed with a huff— it's a first for him to smile with a gentle nod before lingering for a split second as if he wants to say more.

Like I said, he knows how this game works. He's a mastermind.

But then again, on paper, A lawyer isn't supposed to be falling in love with a cop and vice versa... But never say never, right?

Anyway! This is just a silly idiots-to-lovers idea that will probably take me eons to write if I even have the time to do so.

Potential starter playlist for this fic (because I love feeding my delusions, and peak delusion starts with Taylor Swift's discography):

"Mastermind" - Taylor Swift

"The Archer" - Taylor Swift

"I Can See You" - Taylor Swift

"gold rush" - Taylor Swift

"Slut!" - Taylor Swift

"willow" - Taylor Swift

"long story short" - Taylor Swift

[autumnslance]

hello Aeryn! Question! I have seen you post that Dark Autumn is your experience the story character and Aeryn is your personal WoL, when playing Dark how did you start planning out Aeryn? I want to make a personal WoL for myself and I don’t know what I should do? Any suggestions or tips? I love your tumblr! Such an inspiration! ❤️

Thank you for the lovely words! And well, I didn't really plan out anything concerning alts, let alone a WoL, at least not at first.

I think I've spoken about it before, but: I started playing back around Heavensward's release, and Dark Autumn was my first and for a long time only character; FF14 was my side game, as I was still pretty active in WoW. By the time Stormblood came out, though, I was burning out on WoW for various reasons, and started playing FF14 more. I was still level 40-something and in Mor Dhona trying to save the Scions, so I finished ARR, ripped through HW, and caught up to StB 4.0 pretty quickly while that was still new.

But I realized, going back through the cutscenes in the Unending Journey to remind myself of the plot I'd slowly meandered through for over 2 years, that there was a lot I'd forgotten, or missed, and also 2 other starter city experiences. This is also, crucially, long before New Game+ became a thing during the Shadowbringers patch cycle. The only way to re-experience the game was to replay it on an alt.

So I made C'oretta in Ul'dah and a Duskwight in Limsa Lominsa. The Duskwight didn't stick around far past the intro, but I ended up replaying the entire MSQ on C'oretta, remembering things from ARR I'd forgotten, and picking up on things I'd missed in the ARR patches, HW, and StB.

Also, I did not make Dark or C'oretta to be the WoL. I was still thinking of myself as a roleplayer back then, and thanks to my old WoW experiences built RP stories where one does not play "the hero" even though that's FF14's entire setup. I also just couldn't really separate in my mind a "WoL version" versus "RP version" of either character back then. It also just didn't seem to...."fit" either one of them.

But I also eventually realized, especially as I left WoW for good, that I was just too tired and disinterested in getting involved in the dramas of another open RP community. Sticking to fanfiction was looking infinitely better, and I got a little RP from close long time friends now and again (in FF14 and also more traditional tabletop gaming). By this point, I had a better grasp of the world and the lore, the story and the characters, and the various ways the fandom approached WoLs in RP and fanfiction.

I also learned about an unused CGI Midlander woman model, and that got some wheels spinning in my head, about our beloved Meteor Survivor default WoL, and Ardbert and his crew all based on the original legacy and ARR trailer characters, and decided I was going to make an "actual WoL" OC and try experiencing the story (again) that way. I also decided, for myself, as I like "coloring within the lines" for my fanfiction writing (a lot of "missing scenes" or "meanwhiles" etc and not too much lore/canon divergence), that to keep it simple and not go too far off the rails for my own time and sanity, she'd play close to what I call Assumed Default WoL's canon actions, attitude, assumptions, etc that we get throughout the game.

Was also going through some identity figuring out at the time, so my WoL totally wasn't going to be romantically or physically involved with anyone, going to write about an aroace WoL who was just focusing on the MSQ and side story events. WoLNPC shipping obviously wasn't for me after 2 and a half other playthroughs, there were plenty of other people doing all that, it was fine if I didn't.

Plans never survive first contact with the enemy, players at the gaming table, or how your own OC actually reacts to the plots you throw them in and characters you introduce them to.

By the time I created Aeryn, I'd been playing FF14 for 2 or 3 years. I had a rough idea of her background and some important people (though not all their names yet), and then saw where playing through MSQ and the various side stories took her. I already knew the plots, after all, having done it all on Dark, and some again on C'oretta, so was able to focus on Aeryn's characterization and reactions and how that changed over time, as well as adding details to her backstory and supporting cast over time, too.

And it's become a kind of running way for me to do things; Dark is first cuz she's my baby and I can just play as me and my reactions as I puzzle out the story and see what happens. Dark's own RP responses are pretty straightforward and simple, if I decide she's even present for those events. Aeryn playing through a second time lets me see things with the benefit of hindsight and foreknowledge, catch things I missed/forgot (from hints and foreshadowing, to references, etc) and rather than puzzling out the mystery or having my own knee-jerk emotional reactions, I can take a step back and know what's happening and why--or am better able to figure that out now--and see how my character would respond, especially if that's different from me the writer.

(I'm probably still crying, though; there's no escaping that)

It also lets me solidify the lore and remember it better, especially as it starts to get meme-ified and characters flanderized by the community. C'oretta and Iyna ending up replaying again months or years later also helps remember and solidify things. New Game+ helps a lot too, especially if you don't want to alt like I ended up doing thanks to early game's lack of replayability and this game being not very alt friendly.

Some people play their WoLs first (if not only) time through, some people have multiple alts they play, some make no distinction between RP and fanfic WoLs, some folks go with their initial gut reactions to events, and some parse and reconsider the storyline and its elements later. There's no right or wrong way to do it; this is just the path I took, and have decided to stick with due to the time and energy I have for gametime. I end up playing Aeryn more as she's my collector and the one I want to have all content done on for my story reasons, and do just enough on Dark to keep her ready for MSQ requirements (and cuz I love her pretty face and giantess physique). The unexpected WoLNPC ship did help focus and adjust my writing for Aeryn, but it's far from the only thing I write about for her, or the other alts, who settled into "friends and allies summoned by the Azem stone" spot.

So my advice is, as usual, if you decide you want a whole alt to be a WoL, start with a vague plan and some general idea of the backstory, and worry about the details as they come. It can shift and change and solidify as you go, over time. Let the character grow and change in reaction to story, good and bad, and embrace the unexpected reactions and see where they take your writing. Can always leave it in drafts or retcon it later. Use replays to actually look at the story, the parts you like and dislike both and be honest and objective about why and what that means for your story, what ends up important or not to your telling and to your WoL.

Be flexible, do it at your own pace in your own way, and have fun doing it, are the main things.

[bedofthistles]

The Little White Horse: Robin Minette

In continuation with my analysis of the novel, the Little White Horse, by Elizabeth Goudge, I want to cover the characters and the main themes of both the book and the movie.

Here's my thoughts and opinions on Robin De Noir and Robin Minette, two wildly different characters

TL;DR

My enemy. 

My beloathed. 

The one I despise! 

This boy is insane, he is the definition of toxic masculinity, he’s only a child and already he sucks, and I know for a fact he will never get better because he is never punished for his actions. 

And what did he do wrong? 

Well first I would like to remind you all of my beautiful, wonderful, fantastic, baby-eyed Robin De Noir. I have no idea how we got Robin De Noir out of Robin Minette, but I am forever grateful. 

For starters, Robin De Noir takes the place of Mr. Cock in LWH. Where Mr. Cock has trapped the hare, Robin De Noir has, where Maria gets chased by Mr. Cock in the book, she gets chased by Robin De Noir in the movies (and yes, technically the Coeur De Noir and all of the De Noirs are chasing after her as well), where Maria and Mr. Cock run through the forest so she can show him the White Horse, she and Robin De Noir run through the forest in search of the pearls. Additionally, he is no longer Robin Minette, Loveday Minette’s son, but the son of the Coeur De Noir, and Loveday’s brother. 

One, this change is already ten times more dynamic. Throughout the book, we are only told that the De Noirs are wicked, and it isn’t until Maria’s last minute change of heart about them that suddenly they aren’t. Those poor people are demonized in the book, and are not given any sympathy. Now I hear you saying, the movie was the same! They were evil until Maria decided she needed Robin’s help! 

I need you to go back and give Augustus Prew his due, because that boy acted his ass off. I don’t think I’ll be able to go over all of his exemplary acting choices, and I may make a separate post for that, but that will require gifs and screengrabs. Anyway! There are several scenes that show us, the audience, that Robin De Noir is just a boy who is trying his damnedest to make his father proud of him. We see this when the Coeur De Noir calls him a ‘dolt’ after the rabbit trap, and you can see his face just fall, he is devastated, not that he lost the princess, but that he disappointed his father. 

We also see this when Robin quickly decides to help Maria. The very first time I watched this, I didn’t really understand his reasoning, but once I started thinking about it (probably about the time I started writing fic and needed to get inside of his head) I realized that he is fundamentally good, just born on the wrong side of the valley. Robin chooses the Valley over his father, he chooses to help Maria despite not even fully trusting her, he is beside her until the very end because he knows she is doing the right thing, because he loves the Valley and wants to save it. So, despite what we are told about the De Noirs (as by sir Benjamin, who calls them bandits, poachers, and plunderers) we know from visual cues, Robin De Noir’s desperation to be a good son, and his choices at the end, that the De Noirs are not purely wicked. 

Robin Minette on the other hand can die on a stick. Robin and Loveday Minette are actually a part of the Merryweather family (more on that later) and are not associated with the De Noirs at all. 

So what are all of Robin M’s sins? 

Well, if you’ve heard about the bird theory, it is the simple idea that when you call out “oh look, a bird!” the response of your partner/friend/companion should be “where!” Not because they are necessarily interested in the bird (though they should be) but because you are interested in the bird. The logic being that the person will listen to whatever random, boring, stupid thing you’re saying because they are interested in you, and are not looking at you as a source of entertainment. It’s a very simple, and beautiful concept, that shows a person who is interested in you, is interested in you! 

Robin Minette is not interested in Maria. 

I say this because in the book we are told multiple times that whenever Maria asks too many questions, Robin just walks away. He does not answer, or even asks her to stop, when he is astral projecting into Maria’s dreams, he just leaves the dream and wakes up. Again, this is in conjecture with one of Goudge’s morals: female curiosity is of the Devil. 

“All my life, Robin, I'll always tell you all about everything." “And I'll tell you," said Robin. “If I didn't you'd ask me so many questions that life would not be worth living."

This is not an okay lesson to teach to children, any boy or girl should not be learning that her voice does not matter, that her questions should be squashed, and that curiosity is a bad thing. I genuinely have no idea where Goudge got this idea from, other than it is just a very old and misogynist viewpoint. It’s not even Christian, as scripture encourages followers to study, and yes that includes women. 

I don’t think it is a harsh stance to take that a character who walks away from another while they are talking, is not interested, or in love with that character. Maybe possessive, but not in love, and it's certainly not the kind of love anyone should be idolizing. 

Furthermore, like most entitled men, Robin Minette has anger issues. I don’t want to quote the entire section, but I can post it somewhere because it is absolutely insane. 

After Robin and Maria defended Paradise Hill from the De Noirs, they go back to his house. Since it was raining, they had to change out of their wet clothes. For whatever reason, Loveday Minette decides to put her old wedding dress (that she never wore because she ran away) on Maria. 

Maria loves it, and asks if it can be her wedding dress, and Loveday M says yes. 

When Maria joins Robin in the kitchen so they can have tea, Robin asks what that is. 

“It's my wedding dress. I'm trying it on to see if it fits." "Are you going to be married?" asked Robin sharply, his munching jaws suddenly still. “Of course," said Maria, reaching for the cream. “You didn't expect me to be an old maid, did you?" “Are you being married today?" demanded Robin. “Of course she isn't being married today, Robin. She isn't old enough to be married yet. But when she is married she will wear that dress." [Loveday] “When you do marry, whom will you marry?" Robin asked Maria. Maria swallowed the last of her bread and cream and honey, put her head on one side and stirred her tea thoughtfully. “I have not quite decided yet," she said demurely, “but I think I shall marry a boy I knew in London." “What?" yelled Robin. “Marry some mincing nincompoop of a Londoner with silk stockings and pomade in his hair and a face like a Cheshire cheese?" The parkin stuck in his gullet and he choked so violently that Loveday had to pat him on the back and pour him out a fresh cup of tea. When he spoke again his face was absolutely scarlet, not only with the choke but with rage and jealousy and exasperation. “You dare do such a thing!" he exploded. "You--Maria --you-- if you marry a London man I'll wring his neck!"

Now, you’ll notice three things here: 

One, the fate of all Moon Princess’ is to get in a fight with her love, and if she doesn’t humble herself, she’ll be forced to leave Moonacre. This is something Maria knows at this point. 

Two, Robin is a thirteen, fourteen year old boy displaying this much anger, possessiveness, and audacity. This is not something he is punished for, and he gets away with this behavior. 

Three, his mother is right there???? And her chief concern is: 

“Robin," said his mother, “that's not at all the way to propose. You should go down on one knee and do it in a very gentle voice."  

Ma’am your son is a maniac and you’re giving him tips on how to propose properly? 

Now, I want to swing back to my first point. To state it very plainly, this is one of the reasons as to why people stay in abusive relationships for so long. Maria knows that if she and Robin hadn’t made up right then and there, she would have to leave Moonacre. This language and ideology puts the blame on the victim’s shoulders, making the victim feel as if they have to be the one to make amends, to fix what is broken, and appease the abuser. This is the cycle of abuse that is seen time and time again, and while Goudge does not frame this as an ideal relationship we can gather that based on all that Maria has learned, it is her job to keep the peace. 

Am I calling Robin Minette an abuser? Yes, yes I am. 

Maria immediately forgives his behavior, Loveday is obviously okay with it, because she does nothing to stop him or scold him, and Goudge obviously sees this as okay male behavior. 

It's preposterous and yet this book is only eighty years old, we can obviously see people who behave this way, and we all know people who are like this. However, I think we have finally pivoted to presenting this behavior as abusive in media and art. Too often we think of abuse as just physical, but so often it is emotional, financial, and sexual, and the consequence of that mentality is people suffering abuse thinking that they aren’t because they don’t get black eyes. 

Here, I would also like to mention the BBC miniseries, Moonacre. The Miniseries is boring, it’s praised for being a more direct adaptation of the book, however they do make some major changes, especially to the plot. They add this thing about the ‘Blackheart’s’ having their water supply being cut off, all their wells are saturated with saltwater, and they blame Sir Wrolf for cutting off a pipe that would lead freshwater back into the valley. In this, we do get Loveday and Robin (still mother and son) as De Noirs. Loveday is the direct descendant of Black William, and despite teaching her son to hate the Blackhearts, he is also a De Noir. Robin Minette in this movie is boring, he doesn’t get mad at Maria for asking questions, but all he really does is show up at convenient times to save her from the Blackhearts. He’s fine, he’s not as problematic as Robin in LWH, but his character is not as compelling as Robin De Noir in TSOM.

Prev | Next

Full wedding dress excerpt

[alwaysanangcl]

💿.

send me a 💿 and i’ll shuffle my music and write a starter based on the first song i get!

Alley Rose by Conan Gray

The days have been long and dark, filled with booming noises above and then eerie silence. The redhead can't be sure how long she's been down below, saved for another Gamemaker's cruel tricks. The games had ended too quickly for her to be used for her own tributes, but "For the Quell" had been whispered many times as she and the others like her had been caged away. Was it time? Had the Quarter Quell arrived? Had three years passed?

No. . .No something else was afoot. Guns and bright lights found them cowering below. But their trick was too good, the second the cage was opened, the poor soul who'd set foot inside was eviscerated. Childish faces covered in gore and set with fangs. So, to Thirteen they were shipped in their cage, separated out only once there were cells strong enough to hold them in the bunker. A metallic voice called overhead, Johanna Barker. Wild blue eyes sobered from the place the former tribute of the 72nd Games sat hunkered in the corner. "J-Jo?" Her voice was tinny, stuttered from lack of use, "Jo, where are you?"

[iceicewifey]

1 please!

thank you anon ! ;v; all of shay's info is in my pinned post, but some people may have no idea who she is, so i'm happy to share ;w;

˖˚♡‧₊ 𝘼𝙂𝙀𝙉𝙏𝙎 𝙊𝙁 𝘿𝙄𝙊 𝘼𝙎𝙆 𝙈𝙀𝙈𝙀 ˖˚♡‧₊

1.) Introduce your OC! Who are they and what do they do? What is their stand and ability?

for starters, her name is D. Shay, but everyone just calls her Shay. the 'D' comes from her middle name. nobody's caught the reference without me explaining it, but she's named after rapper vanilla ice's dj from the 90's, dj deshay ;v; they are a set do not separate them jfgbjfgb

i'm still not done her new ref, so you'll have to accept this half colored, half completed piece from the wip. _(:3」∠)_ she was a delinquent turned teenage runaway turned criminal — her life was one big downward spiral since she was ~14 but i'll save that for her backstory when i get off my ass and write that. she's an excellent motorcyclist and has connections to some of the most dangerous outlaw biker gangs in america. in sdc canon, she's one of dio's agents and resides in his mansion in cairo. it's not very in depth, but i mentioned one of her roles a bit here. she also has a fight against the crusaders and changes the mansion fight a bit, but i’m still in the process of properly writing that out.

i'm still working on a good version of her stand too so you'll have to accept two wips i'm sorry gjhfgjb i'm still working on a post, but her stand's name is  ｢ Quiet Riot ｣ it's a close range fighter with a range of just over 2 meters. it's hands have long talons so instead of volleying punches, it opts to slash wildly at it's opponents instead. it's special ability is in the psychological assault category; QR has the ability to silence any person/object, effectively like a mute button. the silencing ability has two different 'functions' (i don't know what word to use); QR can either mute everything around it in a radius of up to 10 meters, or it can focus that energy into one person/object for up to 100 meters. QR can also mute a person/object completely, or so that only shay can hear them - only when whatever is muted is still in earshot of her, it cannot hold onto the sound for the full 100 meters. like i mentioned above, i'm working on a post that will better explain QR and it’s abilities/limitations/etc. ;w;"

answered   ::   2, 4, 9, 7, 12*, 5*, 9*, 3, 5, 1    ┆    pending   ::    6 *   =   from the crusaders version

[seginbeats]

Pokémon Favourites!

repost, don’t reblog!

FIRST GAME: Pokémon Yellow version was my first; I got it as a gift for completing kindergarten. My reading was still a little shaky, and I didn't understand that I had to click "save game" whenever I turned my Gameboy Color off. So, I perpetually restarted the game for a week until my dad helped me figure it out. Yellow version is how my dad and I first REALLY bonded, actually, because he'd take me around to his job a lot (busy man) and I'd sit behind his desk and ask him for help with reading the big words.

FAVOURITE SPINOFF GAME: A tie between Pokémon Stadium for the N64 and Pokémon Colloseum. Stadium is how I bonded with my little sister; we played the mini games like CRAZY when dad rented it for us from Family Video. Run Rattata Run was our favorite. And my dad actually would battle me on Stadium; his favorite Pokémon were Dugtrio and Pidgeot, and he loved to do dramatic character voices for the gym leaders, especially Giovanni. Colloseum was my first experience with a more gritty, dark video game plot line, and was the first Pokémon game I helped my baby brother complete. Orre is just. So good.

FAVOURITE EVIL TEAM: It's a tie between Team Rocket and Team Magma. Rocket, because I'm a filthy millennial and will never NOT love them. Magma for no other reason than the fact that my favorite color is red, and the rivalry between Magma and Aqua is so funny. I'm in a competitive Pokémon clan that got formed back in 2016 when I was super into the Smogon scene; there was a series of clan battles called "turf wars" where we played across a region map, and all the clans were based on the different teams. Me and Team Magma won several seasons in a row, and we've remained lifelong friends even though that larger competitive group no longer meets up.

FAVOURITE TEAM LEADER: GUZMA. I love my boy so much. He completely blew Maxie out of the water the moment I laid eyes on him. He is just so fun, so complex, and even though I write Giacomo now, Guzma will always have a place in my dumb little heart. It's ya boy!

FAVOURITE STARTER: Squirtle. This is a Squirtle Squad support blog.

FAVOURITE BOX LEGENDARY: Groudon. I fucking LOVE Groudon.

FAVOURITE POKEMON: /to the cadence of the cut screen from Pikachu's vacation: Mag. . . Nemite. . . Mag. . . Nemite. . .MAG-NE-MITE!

FAVOURITE PROFESSOR: Sada is my new favorite. She became the favorite as soon as she was revealed. Women can do ANYTHING!!!!

FAVOURITE RIVAL: Green & Silver. No you will not make me pick between the two of them. Green because he is so iconic, and Silver because his music in GSC is fucking great; also, the hilarious Pokémon Vietnames Crystal translation that was played through by Delicious Cinnamon is one of my favorite things EVER. They called him Chedr. His lines were great. Also. . . . Was I the only one who accidentally named Silver just ??? (BECAUSE HIS NAME POPPED UP AS ??? IN THE FIRST BATTLE AND I JUST COPIED THAT WHEN ASKED) when they first played gen 2 as a kid??????? Or was I just dumb????

FAVOURITE CHAMPION: Steven Stone's champion battle was VERY memorable for me.

FAVOURITE CHARACTER (if not already covered): Emmet and Ingo. No you will not separate them for this answer, they are a package deal in my brain. I was there for the height of Black and White hype and the dawn of Submas. It was magical. I love my silly train men.

FAVOURITE STORY: Black/White. Followed closely by Sun/Moon and Emerald.

FAVOURITE MUSIC: ALL of the music from Gen 5. Loved the Unovan Elite Four theme. N's theme. GHETSIS'S THEME STILL GIVES ME CHILLS. I also fucking love the Cipher Admin battle music from Pokémon Colloseum. Also, controversial kick, Miror B's theme in Colloseum was better than Gale of Darkness's choice. And of course Guzma's battle music is awesome, AND the Team Star Leader ost.

FAVOURITE REGION OVERALL: If you can't tell, I love Unova. Runner up is Johto; idc what people say, nothing will ever replicate the joy and wonder of playing through Johto for the first time RIGHT after the height of PokeMania in the 90's and early 00's. It was . . . Magical.

[findyourrp]

🪵 on the prowl for a 21+ advanced to novella partner for a canon-divergent retelling of Dragon Age: Origins 🪵 Hello! You can call me Kels or Knave (she/her, 25, EST).

. Activity will be low, expect anywhere from a reply a night to two replies a week. . I average 500 words per reply, third person past tense. It will vary depending on how many characters I'm controlling, setting and exposition, etc. etc. I don't need you to match post-for-post, but while I love internal monologue I want replies that have something tangible for my character to react to as well. . My warden will be my primary character, but I'm very comfortable playing secondary characters and I expect my partner to do the same. We can hash out whether we want control to be exclusive or split when we're planning things out . Content warning - canon-typical cosmic/psychological/body horror, gore, references to sexual assault and abuse, slavery, cults. I'm certain there's more I'm forgetting. if you have any triggers or squicks, I'd like to talk about them beforehand. For the mature content, this is NSFW, but whether we write smut or not is up to you. . Not a fan of Cullen or Cassandra, and I'd prefer they not be in this one. Onto the juicy stuff >> It's implied that the other origins die, since Duncan isn't there to intervene. I want to write in a setting where he recruits all of the origins, and then all or some of them miraculously survive Ostagar without Flemeth's help. How do they deal with the events of Origins while unaware of Alistair and the HoF's survival? My main character will be a very determined, angery M!Tabris. He's gay and romanced Zev in his save file, but romance is not a requirement. I'm just as happy roleplaying a platonic friendship/rivalry. Some ideas include;

. One of the origins, either the HoF or another straggler from Ostagar. I would love a Brosca (my beloved), I have a plot bunny about a Surana who had a messy breakup with my Tabs before the templars came, and if I found someone who wanted to play Twin!Tabris I'd be ecstatic, but all of them are good <3 . Anyone in the main party, either stumbling across my Tabs by accident while travelling with HoF/Alistair or encountered separately. Zevran, Morrigan, and Shale are my favorites. . Canon characters/player characters from Awakening, DAII, and Inquisition, inserted into the plot early by the power of au. Anders, Sigrun, Velanna, Merrill, Isabela, Fenris, Hawke & Twins, Dorian, Scout Harding, a half-asleep Solas, an itty-bitty Sera <3 <3 (Sketch?? Does anyone remember my boy Sketch???) . My idea of Tabs' flight path out of the Kocari wilds includes cutting through the Brecilian, so a Dalish or Chasind OC would be very cool to encounter. But honestly, you could play anyone you want! I just want to explore the setting of DA:O in a less linear manner, and half of the fun is pairing unlikely characters up with each other to see what the chemistry's like.

ANyway, if you're interested, I've got some character refs and a rough starter prompt in my docs so we can jump right in to planning. 👍 Either like the post or add me on discord (kellas_cat) and I'll get back to you. Thanks!

.

[the-twinventors]

((Cont. from here | @projectlightfox))

Today had not been going in the twins’ favour. No matter where they turned, their tormentors seemed to be three steps behind them - and now, they were taking the brunt of their wrath. Somehow, in the chaos, Stella had managed to get her phone out, but she only managed to blurt out a few words before Axel snatched her phone and tossed it aside. Luckily, it seemed those few words were all the hybrids needed, because next thing the twins knew, Harmony was barrelling into Axel’s legs, knocking him over.

Not wasting any time, Jayce and Stella collected their things and stumbled through the Warp Ring as fast as they could, finding themselves back in their apartment. Their heads were swimming from the hits they’d taken (jeez, Axel seemed to hit a lot harder than Cody did), and when they were settled on the couch, they just let themselves fall back against the cushions, struggling to get their breaths back. Chaos, they hated that damn wolf... what had they ever done to him?

Hearing Volt’s warning, they both nodded, too out of breath to give a proper response, and held themselves as still as possible. Seeing his eyes shift hues was a little unnerving to them - the sparks dancing across their skin were even more so. The pins and needles sensation they felt was a little uncomfortable, but nothing they hadn’t felt before. But seeing their wounds closing over in real time? Now that was insane. Before they knew what was going on, the pain had vanished, and the worst of their injuries had been healed.

“Whoa...” Jayce carefully sat up as Volt lowered his hands. “... what... what was that?”

“A-are you alright?” Stella quizzed, noticing his clear exhaustion.

Then Harmony returned and explained while dabbing at their healed wounds. It didn’t make a lot of sense to either twin, but hey - there was a lot of stuff about both hybrids that they didn’t know about. Not that they were going to push for that information - that was for them to tell when they were ready. For now, they would just gratefully accept the help - they were still feeling a little dizzy and didn’t feel like arguing.

“Yeah... bandaids would be helpful.” Jayce held out his arm to give the pup better access. “Thanks, Harmony.”

“And hey - nice job rushing Axel.” Stella managed a giggle. “Wish we could’ve seen the look on his face...”

[dutchdread]

Hi again, I'm the same anon from your last ask. So my next question then is why would you consider it to be a bad story if Cloud ends up with Aerith in the end? You also say Cloud and Tifa supposedly have something going on, but even if they did, Aerith doesn't know that. Neither Cloud nor Tifa tell anyone, or even show that there's anything going on between them throughout the whole story. Did you see that in Remake that Aerith even asks Cloud if Tifa is someone special and he says no?

Thanks for the question. Your question is comprised of two parts, why Cloud ending up with Aerith would be a bad story, and then the secondary part about Aerith not knowing about the history between Tifa and Cloud. I think understanding the later will be helpful to understand the former so I'll start with that. This goes back to what I said in my last reply concerning the difference between thinking someone is a bad person, and thinking they're a bad character. First off, let me just make clear that I don't judge Aerith too much concerning her behavior in the OG, since as you rightly state, she didn't really know that there was anything going on between Tifa and Cloud, she probably knew there was some attraction there, but nothing about the extent or the history. And if in the remake it turns out she's actually blissfully ignorant I'll be more lenient there as well. However, in my opinion the remake heavily implies she does realize there is a thing between Tifa and Cloud. You mentioned Aerith asking if Tifa was Clouds girlfriend, and him replying "no". However, as always, there is context here, for starters, the scene doesn't end there and then. Aerith replies knowingly "but she's someone special". Moreover the scene is also only one scene in a series of relevant scenes concerning Clouds relationship with Tifa, which starts with Jessie asking about who Tifa is too Cloud, this plotpoint then continues through Aeriths flower. When Aerith gives Cloud the flower she mentions that his girlfriend will love it, then later when Aerith asks him who he gave the flower to Cloud says he doesn't remember, and Aerith calls him out on the lie. The question is then answered when Aerith goes to the 7th heaven and discovers Cloud gave it to Tifa, prompting a smile from Aerith. She figured it out, actually, she probably figured it much earlier, but now it was confirmed. She had a hunch about Tifa, just like Jessie, Cloud was defensive at first, then evasive, but ultimately, Aeriths hunch was correct, Cloud gave the flower to Tifa. He can pretend all he wants, Aerith knows. Personally, I think she smiled because it reminds her of the future. Throughout remake Aerith is hinted to know more than she lets on, and that's especially true concerning Tifa and Cloud. When Tifa is kidnapped she pushes Cloud to go after Tifa, calling Tifa Clouds special person. If I recall correctly she even uses the same terminology that she used to describe Elmyras husband. She actively tries to make Tifa jealous by calling Cloud her bodyguard, and then she straight up tells Tifa to follow her heart. She gives me the distinct impression that she knows perfectly well where Cloud and Tifas hearts lie, and is trying to push them into action. This is borderline confirmed during the Aerith resolution where she basically straight up admits to knowing more about Clouds feelings than she actually should, assuming you think that this apparition is at least somewhat related to the current Aerith in some manner. The thing that really clenches this in my opinion is a trace of two pasts, where Tifa straight up tells Aerith about her and Clouds history. If Aerith doesn't get it by then, then she's being willfully ignorant. But lets say she does indeed not know, that would to some degree absolve her as a person. But it would still make her a bad character, because WE, the audience, know. We know that Cloud is supposed to end up with Tifa, we know that's how the story goes. And when you rewrite old stories in such a way that you take things away from one character, just to give more to another character, you run the giant risk of insulting the characters involved. You see this in things like the star wars sequels, where they effectively character assassinated Luke Skywalker in order to artificially make Rey seem better. But there are two reasons why this doesn't work, for one, it tends to create Mary-Sue like characters who just get given everything, and two, it inherently causes the fans of the other characters and stories to resent the character that's taking it away.

People don't like people who are simply handed everything, even fictional ones.

In a sense, this is also why Cleriths so often seem to hate Tifa, because they feel like Tifa took their story away from them. The difference, of course, is that Cloud ending with Tifa is a part of the original game itself, while Aerith coming back to life and ending up with Cloud would be a 25 year retcon which would blatantly disadvantage one character in favor of another, this in turn would reek of favoritism, which in turn would generate bad blood in the player. A character who needs to take away from other characters in order to be put forward is not a good character. Good characters add to the characters around them, not take away, that's what Aerith in the OG does, that's what Aerith ending up with Cloud, would not do. This effect would then be magnified by Aeriths already over importance to the plot. Having the universe revolve around one character generally isn't good writing. One of the things that makes Lord of the rings so timeless and beloved is that Frodo is just a small hobbit in the grand scheme of things. Likewise, one of the key elements that makes FFVII so appealing to human nature is Clouds humanity and lack of importance. The fact that Cloud turns out to not be a soldier 1st class, but just a grunt who wasn't good enough, who still ends up being the one who saves the world, speak to the human spirit. Aerith living and ending up with Cloud wouldn't be just a small difference where the overall story would stay the same with only the love interest switched, no, it would inherently ripple effect into all other aspects of the story. From the smallest details to the overall themes of the story, from directing to the personalities of characters, everything would be effected and all of it would fall apart. I could go over a hundred examples but I'll limit myself to some of the smallest and largest. Stories have a flow, where what is happening follows logically from what came before. It's not that it's impossible to write a story where two characters that are roughly similar to Cloud and Aerith fall in love, get separated by death, and where the Cloud character mourns and pines for her after she's gone. The problem comes when you add in Tifa, Zack, and all the other context and details of the story. Consider Zack, if we take the concept of Zack as it relates to Cloud and Aeriths relationship and boil it down to the essentials we could see it as a story about a girl falling in love with a boy because he's channeling the spirit of her dead ex, the main internal conflict the characters need to overcome could then be the question of whether these feelings are true, or whether they are just the shadow of her feelings for the old boyfriend. On the surface, this premise works as the basis of a story. The problem lies in the execution. If you write such a story there are a few things you can and cannot do. For one, you have to make this love exceptionally obvious, you can't tell a story about whether or not feelings are true if you never even get to establishing the feelings in the first place. One of the key things you need to do for this is establish the two characters central importance to the others internal emotional arcs. The first thing you DON'T do is establish a second female character and have Clouds emotional arc revolve mainly around her. If you want to tell a story where Tifa and Clouds relationship turns out to just be friendship, while Aerith and Cloud turns out to be love, then you show the scenes establishing that. However, whenever Cleriths argue for a story like this they have to assert that Cloud no longer loving Tifa is just something that happened off-screen and is never mentioned. But if this were true, this would be extremely important to show. So again, if this is the story, then this is bad direction, aka, storytelling. Scene choices matter, if your story requires you to assume that the scenes you're shown aren't important, and that the crucial bits have to be imagined to happen of screen, then that's bad writing. And the reason you can't suddenly do it now, 25 years later, is

because of a thing called "set-up". Even if they were to change to story to suddenly direct it as such now, it would constitute a drastic change of direction, which means the larger 2-decade long story we've been told is no longer a single coherent whole. If the story in remake is that Cloud always loved Aerith, then why wasn't the ground work for that lain 25 years ago? If you want to say that the story is about Cloud loving Aerith, and ending up with her eventually, then you can't have Cloud not speak her name for the second half of the original game, and devote that time completely to establishing port-mortem that Cloud wasn't himself while with Aerith, and that his true self has deeply ingrained feelings towards another woman. And not some minor character who exists only as a plot-device, some fake hurdle designed to try to raise some fake tension, but Tifa, a character who is routinely established to be the "heroine" of the game, someone of equal importance to Aerith who cared for Cloud while he was in a coma, whose history with Cloud started his internal character arc, whose history with Cloud resolved his internal character arc, and who lives with Cloud 2 years later.

And the same thing goes for Zack, it was possible to write him as negligible when it was just FFVII, if you ignored the addition of Tifa and JUST focused on the Zack element as a side character. But the addition of Tifa and the existence of Crisis Core cause the narrative to become disjointed when trying to view it as a single story. This is why people so often want you to ignore Crisis Core, because they understand that if a conclusion of a story is that Zacks role isn't that important, then why did your story spend an entire game cementing the importance of Zack? One of the things I hear most from Cleriths is "why couldn't Cloud just get over his childhood crush on Tifa and fall in love with Aerith? It happens in real life" , or some other variation of "why couldn't this happen?" But this shows the problem with how they want the story to go, because stories aren't real life. Anything CAN happen in a story, but not anything should. Stories have a concept called " checkovs gun", if a gun is introduced into a story in the first act, it has to be fired somewhere down the line. If the gun turns out to not have a role in the story, why was it there? But the same thing doesn't apply in real life, in real life, chekovs guns almost never fire, with few exceptions, real life is a bad guide to how to write stories. Stories written like real life, generally suck. If characters in stories behaved like characters in real life, half their lines would be "uhhhhh", and half the scenes would be them sitting on the couch having meaningless unrelated events happen.

The entire flow, pacing, and sequence of events is wrong in a Clerith version of this story. In order to sell the idea that FFVII is a story about Aerith and Cloud getting together you first have to sell the idea that all these plot threats concerning Tifa essentially don't matter. But if they don't matter, then why are they there? What purpose do they serve? What purpose does Tifa serve? Or Zack? In order to "fix" their preferred interpretation, Cleriths need to get around this problem, which causes them to have to re-interpret everything that happens and twist it in order to create the appearance of a coherent story. This requires them to resort to minimizing characters, character assassinating characters, and generally misrepresenting everything that happens. I think there is no bigger indication of why Cloud and Aerith getting together would suck as a story than looking at how the people who propose this version of the story look at Cloud and Tifa as characters. What follows are some excerpts from the dumbest person I've ever debated.

This went on for over 200 replies, this is not a mentally sound interpretation of the story, but this is what you need to believe in order to get the Aerith/Cloud love story to work. You're forced to minimize Tifa and her importance to the story, and you need to demonize Cloud. So basically you have two options here, you either have to say "all this stuff with Tifa and Zack, doesn't matter", all their scenes, all those plot threats, they all aren't a part of the larger story being told and ultimately amount to nothing. Or two, you remove all those scenes or rewrite them to instead focus on Cloud and Aerith. And both those approaches suffer from the same basic problem, they're both effectively going "screw everything, all that matters is Cloud and Aerith". Which brings me back to my earlier point. If your story is pushing everything aside in order to hype up the main character, you're not writing a good ensemble story, you're writing a bad fan-fiction. This is the writing people HATE. Cloud is no longer a sad but likable character with complex motivations and feelings who wasn't as important as he thought he was, no, he's cliche self-insert main character that the world revolves around, who every girl genuinely loves regardless of whether or not it makes sense, even though he's a complete asshole who abandons children and takes advantage of women just because he's "lovesick". No other man could ever compare, a week with him braindamaged and you forget all about the man you pined after for 5 years. Aerith is not compassionate to a man who blames himself for his failings and thinks he'd do more harm than good, she's compassionate to a piece of human filth who refuses to go save children because he doesn't care about them. She's not just a girl with a big destiny and a tragic fate, no, the universe itself resets to make sure she gets laid. Tifa isn't a powerful woman who devotedly supports the man she loves through his darkest hours, instead she's a weak unimportant doormat without self-respect who even in 2 decades could not measure up to a week with Aerith. Zacks connection with Cloud doesn't come with complex implications about Aeriths feelings, Zack never really mattered, his entire story of getting back to her? Doesn't matter, it only exists to show how much Aerith must love Cloud to choose him over Zack. The entire lifestream reveal concerning Cloud? Doesn't matter, nothing matters, it's in the past. The central reveal of the story isn't important because Clouds true self suddenly likes Aerith now.....good writing. etc, etc, etc. Where Aerith was once a part of an ensemble cast, the heroine of the external plot, tasked with saving the world through her powers as an ancient, while Tifa as the equally important heroine of the internal plot saves Clouds through their shared feelings, now everything instead revolves around Aerith, and the other characters only exist in service to her, not as characters in their own right, but only to make sure she and Cloud gets together, like every hated mary-sue in history. The pain of her death? Gone, the impact and nuance of the story? Gone. Literally everything that made FFVII special? Gone. And concerning the small, even the little details would no longer be coherent, Cetras thematically guide people to the promised land, note: "GUIDE", but now Aerith would suddenly be the promised land herself. The through-line of Cetras "returning to the planet"? Gone, if Aerith doesn't die that doesn't link to the story anymore at all. Tifa's bar being the 7th heaven, aka, the final heaven, aka, the promised land where Aerith guides Cloud to? Suddenly a meaningless name. Tifa's last name "lockhart" being a direct hint towards the "tender feelings locked up inside Clouds hart"? Completely trivial, the feelings weren't that important to the story. And I could go on for hours, every aspect of FFVII, from small to large, would be fundamentally poisoned if Cloud ends up with Aerith.

I could rewrite the story to make it work, but that's the point, then you'd be rewriting the story in order to diminish every other character and story in favor of Cloud and Aerith. Which brings us back to it becoming a horrible fan-fiction where no one and nothing matters except Cloud and Aerith. It's ok to write unimportant characters, it's not ok to make your important characters unimportant in retrospect in order to wank off another character. Thanks for asking.

[onebatch2batch]

Heyo, dialogue prompts: 14 or 30? 😊

HI THIS WAS FROM FOREVER AGO BUUUUUT that's my m.o. so here we are. Hope you like it!!

And no, I'm never going to stop writing different versions of Frank and Karen getting together, you can't make me :)

--

14. “You’re never going to let that go, are you?”

Frank can practically hear David scheming, and he’s proven right when an anthropomorphic mop of hair bends into his line of sight and he says, “Hey, remember in the bunker, when we were still on the run?”

They’re both standing in David’s front yard. Frank’s van is in need of an oil change and a replacement filter and since he’s not keen on anyone else working on his getaway vehicle, he called up David to request use of his paved, suburban driveway. It’s been a few weeks since he’s managed to get over here, and David had instantly agreed on the condition that Frank stay for dinner. It’s a beautiful summer day, even if it’s a little hot, and he’s feeling a little off-kilter from the sounds of children playing all around. It’s so painfully normal that for a moment he’d regretted asking, and then David had offered him a drink. The taller computer genius doesn’t know shit about cars, so he’s alternating between fetching more beers and talking Frank’s ear off. It’s been about an hour now, and Frank has slowly relaxed into the background noise.

“Yeah,” Frank responds dryly around the flashlight between his teeth. He’s elbow deep in grease and not really interested in where this line of questioning is going to go, but David has other ideas.

“Uh huh. You know, when you got yourself on the news after that kid held Karen hostage?”

If Frank is affected by the name, all David notices is a sharp glance. “Yeah.”

“And how you freaked out and begged for my help and said she was family?”

Frank straightens and sets the flashlight down on the bumper of the car. “You got a point, Lieberman? I’m busy.”

“Yeah, I have a point. Was that all just bullshit, or what?”

They stare at each other. Frank’s jaw ticks.

“...what.”

“Thought so.”

“No, what?”

“Well you made this huge declaration and then almost got yourself killed trying to rescue her so--”

“God damn it, Lieberman, you’re never going to let that go, are you--”

David shakes his head, exasperated. “I mean, we haven’t even gotten to meet her yet and it’s been six months since Madini used her government wiles to give you a new identity--”

Frank scowls. “It’s none of your--”

The other man cuts him off quickly, hands up. To Frank’s immense displeasure, the other man looks less cowed and more placating. “I’m just saying, invite her to dinner next week. What harm is there? Maybe something good might happen to you for once, god forbid.” His friend stares him down, using every couple of inches of height to try and look intimidating. Of course it doesn’t work, but Frank is too busy thinking about having a family dinner with Karen, with his friends, like a normal person. Like a couple. He realizes too slow that David is leering at him, pleased.

“David, shut the hell up.”

“You’re blushing. Is that a yes? I’ll tell Sarah.”

--

Karen doesn’t question it when Frank calls her up after half a year of radio silence. She asks if it's a casual dress dinner and what kind of wine to bring, and then announces she’s got to go and she’ll see him Friday at six sharp.

He doesn’t know if that’s better or worse than her just telling him to shove it.

--

Friday creeps up on him, and by the time he parks outside of her apartment it hasn’t really sunk in that he’s about to take Karen Page to a domestic dinner in the suburbs. Because it’s definitely not a date, even though it kind of is. It’s the stuff he used to do with Maria and the kids all the time when he was on leave; double dates and cook outs and all that crap. He’s rusty as hell and usually shit company, but they keep asking him back. And now, he’s throwing Karen into the mix.

It’s a feeling similar to being shot in the head and waking up in a hospital room. Disorienting and uncomfortable as hell.

He picks her up in the van, leaning against the side of it as he waits. The Lieberman’s neighborhood is outside the city, about a twenty minute drive. It’s going to give them plenty of time to talk, and he’d barely restrained himself from looking up conversation starters online before leaving his place. He doubts there’s any suggestions for a vigilante-cum-construction worker who’s picking up a date he’s spoken a handful of words to for the first time in six months. He’s just considering cancelling the whole thing when the door to her building opens and she steps out.

He’s seen Karen a lot of ways. He’s seen her in pencil skirts and heels and blouses, in tshirt and jeans, bruised and bloody. He’s never seen her in a sundress with her pinked shoulders bare to the world and strappy sandals on her feet. Her hair is in a long braid over her shoulder. She looks fucking resplendant. Absolutely divine. Fucking poetry in motion.

He’s fucked.

“Hi,” she greets, coming to a stop in front of him. She’s got a bottle of wine in her hands. Her eyes punch little, individual question marks into his skin when she searches his face.

“Hey.” He inhales, bracing for her reaction. His throat closes up when he gets a whiff of her perfume. So familiar from the handful of times he’s been close enough to smell it--something soft and floral, something that makes his head swim. He thinks back to that moment so many months ago, swaying together in the elevator, her skin against his, her perfume subtle under the metallic tang of blood.

Karen doesn’t immediately go for interrogating him. She only lifts the bottle in her hand. “I brought a white, is that okay?”

Wary relief loosens the knot at the top of his spine. He nods, pushing off the car to open her door. “Sure.”

When Karen climbs in, carefully arranging her skirt around her, the dark interior contrasting with the soft yellow of her dress, Frank thinks about a conversation with Curtis all those months ago. Wonders when the kick is coming.

They spend the first ten minutes looking out separate windows and listening to the radio. After that, Karen starts talking like she’s made her mind up about the evening is going to go. She asks him how he’s been, if he’s gotten a job, how Dinah is, what the Liebermans are like. Nothing is accusatory. They could be old friends passing one another on the street, the way she’s talking. Almost like she’s talking to a scared dog. Coaxing it out of a corner.

Guess he deserves that.

By the time he pulls onto the appropriate street, it almost feels normal. They’ve fallen into a familiar back and forth that’s easy to keep up with, and when he opens her door she gives him a small grateful smile, accepting his hand on the way down.

He’s not disappointed when she lets go to straighten the fabric of her dress. He’s not.

--

As always, the Lieberman household is an explosion of domesticity. There’s shoes on the stairs, a sweet smelling candle burning on the coffee table, toys and books strewn over the floor. Pictures line the walls. When Frank knocks on the door, Zach opens it like he’s been waiting for them.

“ Hi, Pete!” he greets excitedly, and then his eyes land on Karen. “Who’s that?”

“Hello, I’m Karen Page.” She crouches down to look him in the eye and smiles. “You must be Zach, right?”

He flushes, twisting his fingers nervously. “Yeah. Are you Pete’s girlfriend?”

They’re saved from answering by a sudden, high pitched shriek. “Frank!!”

Karen manages to stand out of the way just in time for Leo to come barrelling down the stairs directly into Frank, hugging him tightly around the middle.

“Frank, Dad says you were here Saturday but you were gone before I left Ann’s house!!” she pulls away and waves a book at him. “I’m reading the book you told me about!”

He grins down at her. “I waited around for ya, but your mom said you wouldn’t be home until later. How’s the book, huh?”

She scrunches her nose. “I don’t know yet. I’ll let you know. Are you Karen?”

Karen laughs. “I sure am. Leo, right?”

“That’s me. Come on, my mom is in the kitchen.” She nudges Zach and then four of them head into the other room. Sarah Lieberman is standing behind the kitchen counter, chopping up a head of lettuce. When they walk in, she beams at them.

“Hey guys, welcome! Hang on, let me finish this. Pete, David’s out in the garage trying to fix the sprinklers. Can you--?”

Frank rolls his eyes. “Say no more.”

He lifts his brows at Karen, but she gives him a jerk of her head. Frank huffs and stalks off after kissing Sarah on the cheek, Leo trailing after him talking about sprinkler systems and tools. Zach joins his mother behind the counter and peers at Karen curiously. She sets the bottle of wine down.

“So Karen!” Sarah exclaims, dumping the lettuce into a bowl. “Let’s get you a glass of wine and chat. How’s that sound?”

--

They end up on the patio furniture. After completing the salad and sides, Sarah turns on the grill and then ushers them to the corner of the patio, refilling their glasses.

“So,” she starts, and peers at Karen over the rim of her glass. “I’m going to be forward, but I get the feeling you’ll appreciate that. What’s the deal with you and Pete? Sorry--habit. Frank.”

Karen could have guessed this was coming, even if she expected a little more subtlety. And Sarah’s right, she appreciates the bluntness. It gives her a chance to answer in kind.

“I don’t know.” She runs a finger over the rim of her glass, frowning. “I haven’t--we haven’t spoken in...a while. Six months, actually. And the last time I saw him..well, it didn’t go as well as I’d hoped. I thought I scared him off, actually.”

“How so?”

And the story falls out of her mouth, in pieces. She hasn’t spoken to anyone about Frank, about her feelings for him--the good or bad--or about that afternoon in the hospital. “--and I thought...I thought maybe he would finally kiss me.” She runs a hand through her hair, frustrated. “And then he pulled that I’m not a hero bullshit and that’s the last I saw of him. Until he called this week.”

Sarah rolls her eyes. “That sounds like him. Honey, did you know when we first met he was gathering information on David?”

“Ah, yes. I was the one who found David for him.” She grimaces. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be! We’re lucky he came looking. Without him…” she shrugs. “I would still be a widow. And my kids still wouldn’t have their father. I’m just trying to say he may do things backwards, but he ends up doing things for the right reasons. Even if it takes him time to figure that out.”

--

Dinner goes well. Dinner goes really, really well. Not that Frank was worried--there isn’t a person alive who can sit down with Karen Page and at the very least admire her. The Liebermans fall in love with her immediately. The kids demand that she stay for a board game after dinner. Leo brags about her science project. Zach shyly asks if Karen likes football. Sarah drills her with questions about her job. David keeps her laughing while stupid jokes and send Frank knowing glances throughout dinner that makes Frank want to throw peas at him.

Karen is charming, sweet, and great with the kids. She gets along with David and Sarah, and sends him warm, unsure smiles until dessert.

They play Apples to Apples, and the kids decimate. Karen is a close third. Frank loses terribly, but he’s still busy ruminating over the warm feeling in his chest at the cacophony of noise that surrounds him as everyone submits to another peal of laughter to notice.

“Frank,” Leo says innocently once they’ve put the board game away and Sarah has told the kids it’s time for bed. She stands in the doorway to the kitchen and looks at him sternly, hands on her hips. “Please bring Karen around more. It’s not fair that you get to hog her and we’ve just met.”

“Leo, that’s Miss Page to you.” Sarah tries for sharpness but ends up laughing. “Off to bed. Don’t forget to brush your teeth.”

“Bye Miss Page!” the kids chorus, and then it’s just the adults.

“Great kids,” Karen laughs. “Smart, too. You’re in trouble.”

Sarah sighs and pats her husband’s cheek fondly. “Yeah, we know. Somehow both of them got his brain.”

David chuckles, turns quickly to press a kiss to his wife’s palm. “At least they didn’t get my hair,” he jokes.

Karen sneaks a glance at Frank, then quickly looks away. He catches it, just briefly, as does David.

“Sarah, we should probably make sure the kids are actually brushing their teeth. I’ll tackle Leo if you tackle Zach, tag team it? We’ll be right back, guys.”

It’s quiet in the kitchen after that. Karen takes a sip of her wine and taps her fingers. There’s something on her mind, he can tell. When she doesn’t say anything he leans forward to capture her gaze. “What is it?”

“Why now, Frank?” Karen asks.

The conversation he’s been dreading. A feeling of shame bubbles up so suddenly it nearly knocks him off his chair. He scratches his neck for no reason other than to expel the nervous energy building in him.

“I didn’t want to…” There’s no use pretending like they’re talking about something else, not when she’s staring at him like that. Like she's been waiting all night for this conversation while he’s been tricking himself into thinking it may not happen. His finger dances restlessly on the table top. “I didn’t want to get you sucked back in.”

“Into what?” She arches a brow. “You?”

“Me. My life. My goddamn baggage. I know you deserve better than me.” He clears his throat. “So I wanted you to have a chance to live your life without my ghosts hanging around.”

“Frank Castle,” Karen sighs, exasperated, “please don’t tell me you’re making decisions for me. And that still doesn’t answer my question--why now?”

His expression tightens. “C’mon Karen. I’m just tryin’ to keep you safe--”

“How many times do I have to tell you--”

“As many as it ta--”

“Frank--” David steps into the kitchen, Sarah in tow. They pause, looking between the two people seated at the table awkwardly. “Oh, are we interrupting something?”

“No, David. Thank you both for tonight. I think I should be going.” Karen stands and looks at Frank. “I have loved you for two years, Frank. No amount of avoiding me or trying to protect me is going to change that. Excuse me.”

And then she walks away.

--

He catches up to her just down the street. As soon as he sees that familiar head of blond hair he pulls the van over and hops out, jogging to catch up. Karen glances at him and then pauses, as if waiting for something.

“Let me drive you home,” he asks. “Please.”

He doesn’t take her home straight away; she doesn’t ask. Frank drives until he finds a spot overlooking the water. The heat has finally broken and a cool breeze comes in through the open window, stirring Karen’s hair. He shuts off the engine. They sit in silence while he tries to decide what to say.

“I guess I should start by apologizing,” he says finally, tapping the steering wheel. He’s past nervous, he just wants to fix his own screw up. “I’m sorry, Karen. I don’t want to make any decisions for you. I should have--I should have talked to you about it. I should have started this conversation a long time ago.”

“So, start it.” She’s watching him, waiting. There’s a tense expression on her face--like she’s either trying not to cry, or trying not to smile. Or tell him off. He’s not sure which, yet.

Frank clears his throat. “Okay. Uh. I’m not gonna make excuses, I’m just gonna tell you what I know. I know that I have done some shit, and I’m going to continue doing that shit. I’m not ever gonna be normal. I know that you’re smart as hell, and you check me, and you’re a fucking force of nature. I know that I have been telling myself that you deserve more than some--fuckin’ vigilante who wakes up to nightmares more than he doesn’t. I know you deserve to be safe and happy. You deserve more than I can give you. But uh,” he takes her hand cautiously, waits for her to pull away, relaxes when she doesn’t, “...I wanna try.”

“You gotta mean it, Frank,” she says, voice watery. “You better fucking mean it.”

“I mean it. I swear to Christ, I mean it.”

She pulls her hand away and for a millisecond, he thinks he’s said something wrong. Then she’s unbuckling her seat belt and clamoring over the armrest into his lap. It’s not the most majestic first kiss he’s ever had (of which there are few) but her breath is hot on his lips and her fingernails scrape gently over his scalp as if entreating him closer. Frank makes a low groan that he hasn’t heard from himself in a long time--too long--and then Karen shifts and his breath catches in his throat. The heat of her, all wrapped up in his arms, her hair falling over one shoulder as she peppers his mouth, his cheeks, his jaw with the tiniest of kisses.

He could have ruined this without even knowing. He almost ruined it before it even happened.

“I do want you, you know,” Karen murmurs against the skin of his jaw, fingers grasping his shirt. “All of you.”

“I know.”

“Does that scare you?”

He pushes gently until he can look her in the eyes. “A little,” he admits. “I don’t wanna fuck this up.”

“You’re doing okay so far,” she says, smiling. “Now that you’ve pulled your self-deprecating head out of your ass.”

“Took me long enough.” He cradles the back of her head in one hand, drawing her closer until their lips meet again. They’re both uncomfortable at the weird angle but it’s not until the horn beeps once, gaining the attention of a woman walking her dog, that Karen reluctantly returns to her seat.

They work to catch their breaths, watching the water.

“The Liebermans aren’t upset I left so--...abruptly, right?”

“Nah,” Frank chuckles, grasping her hand. He finds an indescribable amount of comfort in brushing his thumb over the ridges over her knuckles. “Actually, I think they like you better for it. Sarah almost chased me out of the house with a goddamn spatula.”

“I knew I liked her. Take me home? I’ll make coffee.”

“It’s a date.”

--

Frank’s phone lights up that night. If he were to reach an arm over and hold it up to see, David’s text would read, WELL?? Did you get the girl, Lloyd Dobler?

But he doesn’t. He tugs Karen closer and goes back to sleep.

[adorehs]

tryst

Hi! This is the first fic I fully completed and I wanted to post it even though I don’t like it much. I know the writing is underdeveloped and the ending is absolutely horrible (tried to expand but everything just seemed bad) but I tried my best. I haven’t written anything for fun in years so I thought I’d give this a try and post it so I can get feedback and improve!

This is my entry for @bfharry’s #boyfriendathon!

Summary: Y/N and Harry struggle to keep their new relationship hidden on a group trip to Ibiza. (3.3k words) 

Warnings: poorly written fluff and smut 

The four of you had been planning the trip for the past year, doing extensive research and saving up for the airfare and cost of living for your week trip in Ibiza, and you had finally arrived on the warm island after a day of travel. As excited as you all were and as much as you would like everything to be perfect, the trip had already started off with a few extra complications. 

For starters, your rental car didn’t have a large enough trunk to fit in all the suitcases everyone had brought along, so atop yours and your friend Tara’s lap you held a suitcase each and the gravel road made the thirty minute drive to the hotel practically unbearable. 

Along with that, you had arrived a few hours before your rooms were ready, so you and Tara stalled in the lobby as Harry and your other friend Niall went to a cafe to pick up a few essentials for everyone. 

When the boys had arrived with your coffees, the receptionist had informed you that your room would be ready in about fifteen minutes so you four sat down with your bags in a huddle around a small table, speaking in hushed voices as you waited for your keys. 

“Didn’t they say it would be ready by noon in the email?” you ask, pulling out your phone for proof. 

“I think so,” Niall agreed, “Maybe one of ours isn’t ready so they're giving us both at the same time,” he suggested. 

Harry groaned in response, “Still, I want to take a fucking nap before we go to the beach.”

You all murmur an agreement as you heard your name being called by the receptionist. You glance at your friends before heading over to the young lady to retrieve the keys for everyone. 

The process was quite quick since you had attempted to check in earlier and had given her all your information then, and soon you had four sets of keys to two hotel rooms. 

“Harry and Niall in 1406, me and T in 1408,” you hand everyone their keys, “They’re adjoined but you still have a separate door.”

“Thank god,” Niall exclaims before hurriedly transporting himself and his bags to the elevator, “I’m exhausted,” he comments when you all join him a few moments later. 

//

A few hours later, you all head to the nearest beach to relax. Niall and Tara led the way as you and Harry walked slowly behind them, his hand resting on your lower back as he whispered in your ear telling you how good you look. 

“Harry,” you giggle softly when he grabs your hand, “Come on you know we can’t…” you trail off, looking up at your friends, making sure they haven’t seen Harry’s display of affection. 

“Yeah,” he agrees with a sigh, “I hate lying to them but they would freak out.”

You and Harry had recently started dating (after a few dates that you promised didn’t have to go anywhere). You both knew that if Niall and Tara found out, they would freak out with the presumption that the group could fall apart in an instant. 

You dropped his hand and sidestepped as you saw Niall peer over his shoulder looking for you both, “Hurry up!” he called out, making you speed walk to catch up with your friends. 

By the time you had caught up with them, you were practically on the beach, so you set down your towels under an umbrella someone had left there before and you strip yourselves of extraneous clothing. 

“I’m gonna go look for somewhere to rent a surfboard, you guys want one?” Tara asks. 

“I’ll just come with, I need one,” Niall decides as you and Harry shake your heads no.

“Okay we’ll be back,” Tara calls out as she begins roaming the beach with Niall. 

Harry smirks lightly and throws his arm over your shoulder as you reach for the sunscreen beside you, “Alone at last,” he sighs dramatically. 

“Shut up,” you shrug his arm off you and replace it with a palm full of sunscreen, “Get my back, please?”

Harry nods, taking the bottle from your hand and squirting some sunscreen onto his hand. He moves your bathing suit straps down your shoulders slightly and you shiver at his gentle touch. Beginning at your shoulders, he massages the sunscreen in, relieving you of hours of stress. You moan lightly at the way his hands work at the crook of your neck and he chuckles under his breath. 

His hands lower themselves across your back with a suitable amount of pressure with every movement, making goosebumps rise on your skin, contrasting with the hot air of the beach. He unhooks your bathing suit and you yelp, quickly holding onto the cups ensuring you wouldn’t flash anyone walking about. “Relax,” Harry advises, “It’s only sunscreen.”

You look over at him with an unimpressed look plastered across your face, “It’s only sunscreen,” you mock him, sticking your tongue out childishly, “This is where it starts, but watch, next time there will be no sunscreen,” you predict. 

“Okay, you got me,” he smiles at you, rehooking your bathing suit and helping you shrug the straps back onto your shoulder. Harry taps your shoulder when you’re situated and kisses you lightly on the nose and then fully on your lips, “Will you get my back?” 

You smile and nod fondly at your boyfriend before shuffling on your knees so you are behind him. Following a similar process to Harry, you massage the sunscreen into his shoulders and press lightly on his back, feather a few kisses on his shoulder blade when you’re done, but scrunch your face together in disgust at the sour sunscreen that found its way into your mouth. 

He laughs lightly and kisses you, holding onto your chin, careful not to transfer the sunscreen onto his tongue as well. “Have I told you how sexy you look in this?” he asks between kisses.

You smile, “A few times,” before breaking out of his hold and reaching for a book you had brought along with you.

He studies you as you open the book, watching how your mouth draws a straight line and your forehead creases slightly as you concentrate on the words. Just as he is about to bother you again, he hears Niall’s laugh. Harry’s head snaps in the direction and he sees Tara and Niall laughing and pointing at a seagull who keeps trying to run away from an inquisitive kid. In both their arms, they hold surfboards and they have changed into wet suits. 

“The stand is over there,” Tara points to a building lined with surfboards, “You can change there too, if you want to come later.”

Harry nods, and through his peripheral vision he can see you do the same, “I’m gonna try and read but I might come out there later,” you reply. 

Harry just shrugs, “I might tan or nap but I’ll go look for food in an hour.”

Niall nods in agreement, “Cool, we’ll try and be back by then.”

Niall and Tara begin walking towards the ocean, pulling their wet suits on completely and Harry glances at you once they are out of earshot.  “So now that they’re gone, wanna make this another date?” he asks shyly.

You set down your book and balance your body on your elbows, “Okay, you have my attention.”

“So, I’m thinking, we get food before they come back and have a picnic on the beach and once they go next time we can do something fun,” he wiggles his eyebrows. 

You look at him, eyes wide in shock, “Harry,” you gasp, “Not here! Maybe next time we’re left at the hotel, but not here!” 

“Fine,” he dramatically sighs, “We can just cuddle if that's what you’re comfortable with.”

“Yeah, that’s what i'm comfortable with, dumbass,” you playfully push him and he dramatically falls over. 

“Jesus, woman!” 

Harry stood up and held a hand out for you, “Let’s go find food m’lady.” He pulled you up and you both started walking towards the pier where there seemed to be a few restaurants. 

You found a restaurant without a line fairly quickly and ordered a few entrees you thought Niall and Tara would like, along with a wrap for Harry and a falafel sandwich for yourself. 

Sitting down with your stuff again, indulging in the food while staring at the ocean. The sun was beginning to set and there was a nice breeze in tow, causing you to shiver. Harry noticed and immediately handed you a sweatshirt he had brought along just in case. He scooted closer to you and circled his arm around your waist as you grasped onto the outerwear.

“Hey, is this the one you gave me on our first date?” you asked once you had pulled the black material over your body.

Harry squinted, turning his head to study the sweatshirt, “Yeah, I think it was.”

“That was so awkward,” you laugh, resting your head on his shoulder, “We tried so hard to not mess anything up, it just ended up silent, like, most the time.”

“Hey!” Harry whined, “That’s because we cared. We wanted this to work,” he shrugged, looking back at the ocean. “I think that’s Tara,” he said, untangling his arm from your body and scooting a few feet away from you. 

You whimper softly at the loss of warmth, wrapping your arms around your body to make up for Harry’s body. You see him exhale deeply and hide a smile as Tara approaches. 

“Oh thank goodness, I’m starving,” she says once she sees the food, “Think Niall’s coming in a few minutes, he’s talking to the lifeguard,” Tara points behind her carelessly. 

“Of course he is, always a flirt,” you glance at Niall who’s helping a girl in a red bathing suit down from the post. 

Harry laughs loudly, “She looks so confused, I think he’s trying to speak Spanish.” 

Tara snorts, “He knows, like, six words. He needs a lotta luck if he’s going to do… that.”

Niall arrives a few minutes later, laughing as he tells everyone about the girl and his limited Spanish vocabulary. You all share a few laughs and retell some old stories as the sun goes down and the temperature drops even more. 

Tara and Niall are shivering viciously because they were still wet from the ocean and they head back to the hotel, claiming they will let you and Harry in whenever you come back. You both bid them a goodbye and are left alone again. 

“Finally,” Harry says, sliding in behind you so your back is to his chest, and wrapping his arms around your front, “We can cuddle.”

“I’d hardly call this cuddling,” you glance back at him, “If this is what you consider cuddling, we’re gonna have a problem.”

“We’re spooning, no?” He smiles at you cheekily and you shake your head. 

“No,” you reply, and with a light push on Harry’s chest to speeden the process you carefully lower yourselves onto the towel beneath you, your toes tickled by a cool breeze as sand gets into your hair, “Now we’re spooning.” 

Harry flips you over in his arms so he is looking into your eyes. His left hand slowly caresses your face as his right traces your lips softly. “You’re so pretty,” he says softly. 

Your smile widens as you bring your hand up to his hair, “You’re prettier,” you counter. 

Harry’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion and he leans back slightly. You tug on his hair and push him back into you as he mumbles, “I think you’re blind. You’re out of my league.” 

“Are you joking? There’s no way you’re being serious.”

“I’m serious! You’re out of my league it’s just a fact.”

“No,” you look at him pointedly, “We are in the same league. Don’t get it twisted,” you crack a smile. 

Harry bursts out into laughter and you follow, falling into a fit of giggles. “Okay, same league,” he agrees. 

The two of you lay there in relative silence for the next twenty minutes, just relishing in each other and cherishing the time you have before the cold air becomes unbearable. 

Once it becomes too cold to think, Harry stands up slowly, wrapping himself in a towel and he holds out his arm for you before helping you up. You both gather all the towels and bags left over and head back to your hotel. 

//

The following day the four of you spent some time sight seeing and learning about Spanish culture. That night you ended up on the beach again, the four of you sitting around a bonfire. 

You weren’t doing much, just eating and talking whilst wrapped up in blankets. Harry found himself staring at your lips as you spoke about a party you went to your freshman year. Safe to say he had no idea what happened at the party. 

You wore a black dress with cherries on that you tied over your yellow bathing suit and Harry thought you couldn’t look better if you tried. A slight tan had made its way onto your body, your hair dry from the ocean water, and an effortless smile lying on your lips as you wrap yourself tighter in a towel you borrowed from the hotel. 

You looked up and made eye contact with Harry, smiling widely before looking down at your hands to not raise any suspicion. Harry frowned slightly and focused on Niall, asking him what he was going to do later that night. 

“Probably go to the pool,” he shrugs, “The ocean is way too cold now.”

Harry nodded, “I’m gonna go to bed in like an hour so I won’t join,” he looked up at you. You nodded slightly as Tara replied. 

“I’m gonna go to the gym, maybe I’ll meet up with you after.”

You looked up, “I’m going to go to bed. All the walking really got to me,” you informed. 

Everyone murmured their ‘okay’s and a few minutes later you had all packed up and headed back to your hotel rooms. 

You and Harry walked slightly behind everyone, Harry’s lips on your ear as they tell you how he’s going to have you tonight. 

Tara and Niall changed and headed back down to the shared lobby and you rushed to knock on the shared door between the two rooms. Harry hastily helped you inside and within seconds his lips were on yours and his shirt was thrown across the room and his shorts were directly beneath him. 

Clad in only his briefs allowed for the outline of his cock to show through the thin, black fabric and you glanced down at it when your lips parted, losing your train of thought for a moment. 

Your eyes widen slightly and your head rolls back as Harry begins kissing along your jawline and down to your neck. He leads you onto his bed, that he had laid a towel on, and helps you get rid of your shirt and shorts. 

He groans at the sight of the white lace set you had put on for him and you smile up at him, laying down on the bed, as he steps out of his briefs. 

“We gotta be quick, babe,” He reminds you, “God you look so beautiful. Quick won’t be a problem.”

You chuckle and lean up and grasp his arms, pulling him down onto you, “Thank you,” you whisper. He giggles lightly as his lips find yours. You pull him closer into your body as he deepens the kiss, immediately asserting his dominance. 

You moan lightly into the kiss as Harry’s hand finds its way down to your panties, pressing light pressure onto your core and moving his hand slightly as you arch your back urging for more. 

Harry’s lips detach from yours and find their way to your chest, his free hand skillfully unclasping your bra and you lean up slightly to help take it off your body. Your bra is thrown across the room and one of Harry’s hands finds your right breast, massaging it, as his mouth attaches itself with your left nipple. 

His tongue works skillfully, circling your nipple and flicking it harshly, hardening it instantly. He playfully nips at it, making you groan in pleasure, before he switches breasts and does a similar routine on the other. 

He kisses his way down to your body and to your core, placing a kiss directly on the wet patch that has formed on your panties. You groan at the feeling and he looks up at you, “You good?” You nod quickly, unable to speak, “I need to hear you say it,” he reminds you. 

“Yes, fuck, yes. Keep going, please,” you chant, closing your eyes and pushing your body towards Harry’s mouth. 

He groans at the contact and moves your panties to the side, attaching his tongue to your clit. He gently bites on it, teasing you further, and you grab his hair pulling lightly. 

He moans into your core, making you arch your back in ecstasy. “Harry, please,” you beg for his attention, causing him to smirk at your desperation. 

He sucks harshly on your clit making you practically scream in anticipation. In a rhythmic motion, you move your hips as he laps his tongue along your lips, making your legs shake with pleasure. He adds a finger unexpectedly and you moan loudly, pulling at his hair aggressively, this time. Your eyes close and your head rolls back, hitting the mattress, as you come unexpectedly onto Harry’s tongue. 

He smiles slightly and stands after cleaning you up quickly. Rolling on a condom, he watches as you rid your panties, sitting up to throw them where your bra lays on the floor. Making eye contact with you, he gets the sudden urge to kiss you. “You look so flawless,” he mutters. 

“You look perfect,” you reply, giving into his gaze. 

He smiles at you and kisses you softly, assaulting your lips, making sure you know you are loved by the man before you. 

He stands and regains his full height again, allowing you to adjust your body as you wish before lining up his cock with your entrance. 

Harry slides halfway into you with a wrangled moan, looking at you to make sure you’re okay. He lets out an exaggerated “Fuck,” seeing your innocent eyes looking up at him through your eyelashes before bottoming out, his hips coming in contact with your feet as you push him back slightly, nonverbally signaling him to move. 

He thrusts into you at a slow pace, making you whimper for more. You look at him with pleading eyes, in which he responds by slightly increasing his pace. “Please,” you whine, looking into Harry’s eyes. 

He smiles at you and pulls out before sliding back in with more force and speed then before. You moan with delight as he groans with pleasure and you allow him to continue his pattern of strokes before he comes, you following slightly after. 

He pulls out, heading to the bathroom to dispose of his condom before coming back and helping you off the bed so you could use the restroom and clean up while he puts the towel under a table in the room so nobody uses it. 

Walking back into the bedroom, you take in the sight before you of Harry putting his shorts back on. His eyes meet yours and he smiles as you continue to stare at him as he gathers your clothes for you. He hands them to you with a kiss and you change quickly into them before sitting back down on the bed to cuddle for a few minutes. 

You face each other and your legs intertwine as you admire each other and whisper sweet nothings at each other. “I love you,” He tells you. 

“I love you,” you reply.

[slutsofren]

Danger Days Chapter 7: I Never Told You What I Do For A Living

summary:  Joel isn't looking good after the recent run-in at the university. Ellie and you have to do everything you can to stop the bleeding and save his sorry ass.

word count: 2,648

content warnings: gore, hurt/comfort, cursing, unconscious Joel, general canon-typical violence, you know the drill.

note: this was so exhausting to write lol

read on ao3 here / masterlist

“I think we're safe.”

You look over your shoulder, back to the stone walls that lined the university. The three of you narrowly escaping it and you wanted to scream, yell, throw a fucking tantrum at the situation but you held it in. “For now,” you replied spitefully. “C’mon, kiddo, we should put more distance between us and them.”

“How is he holding up,” Ellie asks you tensely,

“If I’m being honest, I won’t know until we find somewhere safe.”

“You gotta tell me what to do,” she was beginning to sound more and more scared as your back got coated with Joel’s blood. What little patching up you did on Joel wasn't holding up, and wouldn't for much longer.

“Keep an eye out for where we can hold down for a couple nights. I gotta watch Texas here and make sure he doesn't fucking die on me.” Literally.

Ellie looks over at Joel, “Let's go.”

The two of you took off, Whiskey sensing your agitation and being the gentle beast he is, didn't jolt around too much. Speeding as best you could've in the situation you were tied down in, you suggested to Ellie that it would be nice to find somewhere rather far away from the university, far from trouble. She agreed, not wanting to run into whatever group that was again.

After a couple miles, safety seemed within grasp.

“Look, over there,” Ellie points off to the distance. You can see it, just barely. A shopping mall.

Like everything else in the area, it looks abandoned. Even by infected standards. It’s quiet and private, therefore it’s perfect.

Upon further gazing at the storefront, you recognize the banner. “Is that Swirls? The yogurt place?”

It takes you a bit off guard, recognizing something familiar from the time before, but for some reason it brings you a tiny bit of hope. Maybe.

“It says ‘Colorado Mountain Plaza’ over there,” Ellie points out.

“Looks safe enough.”

“Thank fuck.”

“Language.”

“Sorry,” she apologizes. Then sarcastically adds on, “Mom.”

You snort at her, shaking your head. Although she teased, you’ve come to enjoy the way she called you mom, but those were thoughts for another day.

Approaching the yogurt bar, Ellie jumps off Callus and reaches for the garage type door and lifts it. It creaks loudly which puts the two of you on edge but no signs of infected ring out. Joel does grumble a bit over your shoulder, likely at the sound of metal grinding on metal.

“Careful, Ellie.”

She waves you off then ducks beneath the door, disappearing from your sight. You hear a muffled ‘it’s clear’ from the other side as she lifts it up again to its full height. She leads Callus in by his bit and you follow with Whiskey. 

“I’m gonna need your help, El.”

You try not to jostle around too much as Ellie comes close to your side, “What do you want me to do?”

After taking a couple moments explaining how to safely pull him down, you adjust yourself on Whiskey. Side-saddling him, you put your arms around Joel, “He is not gonna like this one bit.”

“Damn straight he’s not,” Ellie mumbles.

“On three.”

Sliding down Whiskey, you pulled Joel with you and with her help, the two of you managed to get him down with potentially only minor bruising. Laying Joel on the ground as gently as possible, he groaned harshly at the adjustment. “I know, cowboy, I know,” you said to him softly.

Checking over him one last time, Ellie looks up at you. “Now what?”

“Now,” you sighed. “We try to stave off an infection. The bar itself wasn't clean by any means. And you see this,” you pointed to where the puncture wound was. “This is where his large intestine is.”

“Okay,” she shrugs. “What does that mean?”

You hesitate for a moment, mouth agape. “It's where food gets absorbed and gets-,” you trail off.

Ellie looks at you for you to continue.

You sigh, “The biggest problem is his poop okay? Basically if the bacteria from his intestines, specifically his colon leaks out into his body then we're going to have much bigger problems than the wound itself.”

“Gross.”

Chuckling, “Yeah. Imagine how he's gonna feel if his own shit kills him.”

Ellie lightens up just a little at your off-colored joke. “He would be really pissed.”

“I'd argue maybe even a tiny bit of embarrassment.”

The two of you lightly laugh, both just as drained as the other. “How do you know all this stuff anyways?”

“I was a field medic with FEDRA, remember? Didn't last long there, after I lost my finger but I picked up a thing or two from the other nurses.” You shrug, you never found out much about the soldiers you aided, if they survived or not but maybe that wasn’t the best thing to tell her right now. 

You point towards the metal garage door, “Go lock that up for me will ya?”

She gets up and does it, using a padlock to secure it shut. “Think there's anything out in the mall?”

“Possibly,” you groan as you get up off the ground. “I'll have a look around.”

“No, you stay with him, I can go,” Ellie offers. For a moment you want to argue with her, you know what you're looking for, but you see it in her eyes. Just a hint. A hint of uncertainty and fear. “You know how to keep him alive.”

It takes you a second but it clicks, Ellie doesn't want to see Joel like this. “Okay,” you relent. “I saw a map on the way in, I think there's a pharmacy on the second floor.”

“What do you need,” she asks, shifting on her feet.

You rapidly tell her everything within reason - needles, thread, alcohol, gloves, anything and everything that could possibly help the situation within reason to help the fucking dying man laying in front of you. “I'd be grateful if you found a saline bag or a IV or, fuck, even a staple gun but that’s bein’ too damn hopeful. Whatever you find, just bring it back alive. Take your bow.”

She nods as she picks it up along with her backpack and you give her a tight hug. “There and back, Ellie.”

“There and back, promise,” she says, her words slightly muffled by the embrace.

She backs away and opens her mouth to say something but decides against it. Instead mumbling a couple words of encouragement to herself as she leaves. Turning on her heels and lifting the gate separating the shop from the mall with little to no hesitation, Ellie is gone before you know it.

As the metal slams behind her you sigh, listening to the sounds of her locking the gate behind her. Faintly hear her talking to herself. You chew on your bottom lip, thinking of what to do next.

Well, for starters, it would be awfully nice if the man of the hour didn't fucking bleed to death before Ellie comes back, you thought.

Taking off to your left, you scoured behind the bar looking for something, anything, that would help. The shop itself looks picked over so whatever is here isn’t going to be much. Finding nothing but nearly empty drawers until you find a roll of duct tape. Nice.

You walked back to Joel and dropped to your knees, taking off your backpack. Lifting his shirt up to see the poorly done bandages you had applied earlier were thoroughly soaked in sickly copper tinged blood. “Shit,” you whispered.

“Okay, Texas, this shit is gonna hurt like a bitch but you're just gonna have to suck it up and deal with it.”

You took a moment listening to Joel’s uneven breathing, the moans of pain. Hoping to hear some kind of response from him but received nothing from the man. Nodding to yourself, you went to work. “Okay, I can do this,” you mumble to yourself. “Nothin’ you haven’t done before.”

Reaching into your backpack you pulled out some fresh gauze, water, and the bottle of alcohol you were genuinely hoping to drink one day but it is what it is. Next, you grabbed the duct tape and pulled off some strips and lined them up, making a square patch. 

Lifting his shirt, you removed the front bandage from his stomach. A slight gag came up from the smell but you suppressed it, allowing yourself to dissociate from the situation and work mindlessly. Grabbing the water bottle, you rinsed your hands then his stomach, repeating the same motion with alcohol, and used one of the extra shirts you had in your backpack to dry him off. Blood still seeped from the wound but you used the gauze to seal the puncture then covering it with the duct tape square.

One side down, now the other.

“Hold tight,” you told him as you pushed him onto his side. His back looked just as bad as his front but you grabbed another spare shirt and shoved it under his head, adjusting him to make him lay on his stomach in an indirect way to put some pressure on the front.

Joel groaned in pain at the movement, you tried to be gentle but he was not being a rather good patient. “I know, I know, I'm sorry,” you whispered.

You got to working on his wound, doing the same as what you did on his stomach. Rinse, disinfect, gauze, patch. Once the duct tape square went on, you sighed heavily looking down at yourself.

Truly a sight of horror. Your hands and clothes were soaked in Joel's blood. Blinking once, then twice, turning your hands over, seeing the glistening and the flakes peeling off from long since dried blood, you rose and reached for more clothes to change into. 

Discarding the stained ones save for your coat. It was going to get colder, winter was soon. Shit, winter was already fucking here, you recalled the first hints of it when snow started falling earlier. It would be best to not throw away the only thing that would give you warmth in the coming days.

After you changed, you thought you should also change Joel. His dirtied clothes would only worsen his situation if any germs or bacteria got into his injury. You approached Callus and got Joel's pack, scouring around until you found a suitable shirt, flannel, and coat for him.

“This is going to embarrass me more than you,” you told the unconscious Joel.

If you were being honest with yourself, this was not the way you wanted to undress him but those were thoughts for another day. One where he survives this whole fuckin’ ordeal.

You got to work on him, doing everything humanly possible to be careful. Once the bloodied clothes were off and fresh new ones were on, you were going to take one hell of a break.

Adjusting the coat back onto his body, you laid him down gently as before, resting his head on a makeshift pillow. Now the only thing you could do is wait for Ellie.

She’d been gone for an hour tops, nothing to worry about just yet. Maybe the pharmacy was a bust and she’s looking around for first aid kits, you think. It wouldn’t do you any good to worry just yet.

The two horses start chittering behind you. “Looks like we got a couple of chatty birds over here,” you raise a brow at them.

Callus neighs a bit loudly at you and before you say anything you hear a very loud voice. “Hey! I hear the fuckin’ horse behind here! Help me get this open,” then the locked gate started rattling. Those fucking people must have followed you all through the fucking snow.

“Oh, shit,” you curse and immediately start rummaging through your things to reload your empty guns. Your hands were shaking, making the reloading just that much more difficult. You looked up once you heard another voice.

“Yeah, yeah, we’ll get the door. You guys keep searchin’, I don’t wanna get ambushed.”

No shit, I don’t either, you think.

You try to make haste and get your shit together. After you top off with whatever remaining bullets you have available, you corral the horses against the wall and drag Joel behind the bar to shield him from any debris or accidental fire.

Just as you finish you hear a loud bang, someone kicking the door in frustration. “Fuckin’ door!”

You couldn’t help but smile. Good door.

“Get the kid, take the woman, and find the old man. I’ll go for the door,” the same voice shouts.

Then another voice further away, “Shit! There’s someone out here.”

Ellie.

“Wait, shit, I think it’s starting to give,” the first one shouts as the metal door begins to creak and whine.

You decide to do something incredibly stupid but before you could talk yourself out of it, you dive and lay down next to the door. It begins to lift and you hear how the men start to cheer. Just as it gets high enough you take aim and shoot at them, unloading a healthy mix of lead, anger, and frustration into them.

Just as the door slams back down with a loud clang, you hear two soft thuds as their bodies drop.

“Oh fuck this, I’m comin’ Ellie,” you say as you get up and begin lifting the metal door. Just as it slides high enough for you to get under, you slam it shut behind you as you run forward and take cover behind some metal crates that were conveniently positioned just outside the yogurt place. As you do, you see a flash of pink and white to your left as Ellie comes running next to you.

“It’s the same guys from the university,” she says breathlessly. Her freckled face is etched with frustration, matching yours. It’s like none of you could catch a break, catch a breath.

You put a hand on hers, “We got this, sweetheart.”

Her hand squeezes yours and the two of you start fighting back. Fighting for survival, each other, for Joel, fighting for the sake of seeing another sunrise together.

A bullet whizzes overhead and hits the wall, “We got them pinned down over there! Finish them!”

You smile at the men’s clear underestimation of the two of you. Chuckling, “You go left, I’ll go right. Meet here in say ten with dinner?”

“Sounds good to me,” she bumps her fist with yours. With a nod, she’s off. You, the same.

Trying to take it easy, you found yourself trying to be stealthy by using the hunting knife Gustavo had gifted you months ago. It was hard between the harsh winter wind and lowering visibility with the ongoing snowstorm outside that was leaking through the broken roof of the mall. It possibly hurt more than helped.

Two gunshots rang out on the opposite side of the mall than a shout, “Shit! Infected!”

“I’ll take that as a no for dinner,” you mumble to yourself.

You pick up a couple bottles and throw them at the men who were hunting you, screams and clicks followed the noise until you heard more gunshots until silence. Figuring it would save you on ammunition if they just fought and killed each other. You followed this same sequence until there was complete silence, only for it to be broken by Ellie.

“That’s it! If anyone is alive don’t even think about surprising me! You’ll end up like your friends. You hear me? Yeah? Yeah.”

You laugh a little loudly, tears welling up. Just for a moment you let yourself reel in the moment that the two of you fucked up those people on your own. “C’mon kid, let’s save that old bastard of ours,” you shout at her.

[aotopmha]

Attack on Titan in 2020

I've sort of dropped doing detailed chapter posts on the series because that type of writing wasn't very fun for me anymore and I have taken a liking to a bullet point kind of approach where I list the elements that stood out for me in the chapter or make a separate post for some specific topic I'd like to talk about in it.

I've started like 10 different posts to attempt to talk about AoT this year and I always end up with incoherent rambling because of all of the elements I'd love to to talk about.

This year's chapters were 125-135 and this year's episodes episodes 1-4 of season 4.

The anime episodes in particular have given me a lot of food for thought, so I'm just saying fuck it.

I think the biggest misstep of the story for me will forever be the fact that it decided to use fairly specific historical imagery.

The Eldians are clearly supposed to have allegorical equivalency with Jewish people, but the Jewish people were never the oppressors. There weren't any Jewish empires. That's conspiracy theory bullshit.

But on the other hand, the series clearly takes great effort to not stereotype any of the groups it's portraying and gives complex reasons for what both sides do. It's one of the few Japanese series that I've seen not stereotype Middle Eastern-coded people (Ramzi and Halil) or black people (Onyakapon). Everyone are people, it says. It even champions diversity:

(Chapter 118)

It is also very much true that a bunch of fascist states use long-term history as an excuse for their actions:

(Chapter 127)

Nation did X 2000 years ago therefore our conquest of them is justified.

This makes discussion about the series' themes like a minefield.

The people who are very critical about its imagery are right, but the people defending the series aren't wrong, either because it condemns all of those nasty ideas of conquest and hurting innocent people.

You can't have a more clear-cut condemnation of genocide:

(Chapter 127)

If you combine all of these details instead of zoning in on them one by one, to me what the story is saying is that *even if* all of that conspiracy bullshit is true, innocent people don't deserve to be slaughtered no matter the reason because they are still people who have their own feelings, thoughts and wishes.

The story clearly gets the baseline, but fumbles the details. I decided to look up some more discussion surrounding this these past few days and I just wish there was more good faith discussion about it. A lot of it feels like a moral superiority contest.

I think it's these kind of flawed stories that actually deserve detailed scruitiny over stories that are rotten to the core because they are *almost there*. Talking about them is a good topic starter in what to do and not to do in a story like this.

Speaking of rotten to the core, I think the absolute highlight of the chapters this year is Eren and some of the chapters this year finally gave me a pretty clear picture of what is going on with him.

Context from 123 certainly helps, though:

(Chapter 131)

This is about Eren's perspective. He can't accept the destruction of Paradis.

It's not that this solution was inevitable looking in from the outside (which is one of the interpretations I see around for Eren's actions), it's that *Eren* can't see any other way out of this except the most extreme because of all of the horrible things he has seen from the outside world. It is very similar to the way suicidal people can only focus on the negative.

You can tell them everything is going to be okay, but those words won't reach them because their mind won't let them and loops them back to those negative thoughts.

Eren can't see the ice cream or silly clowns. But he can see how the other Eldians in the league of Eldians are willing to push Paradis under the bus. He can see how Grisha's sister was killed. He can see how racist and cruel Marley is towards the Eldians in Liberio (and how the people have racist leanings towards other nations, too).

He can only see those bad things. But he also understands how everyone outside of the walls are human just as the people inside of the walls are.

So he is torn to pieces by guilt.

He doesn't want to do this, but he can't see any other solution.

This is why I also think he can't rob his friends of their agency. He is fighting for them to have a good future:

(Chapter 133)

(Chapter 131)

What really stood out to me on a revisit is that Eren considers himself much worse than Reiner.

I've seen criticism on how the story pushes the narrative of both sides being the same and this detail is really important to me because this is the story acknowledging that what Eren is doing is worse and gives all of the following exchanges about this the context of it being a similarity in principle.

Both sides have killed for what they think is right and have to deal with how they have killed people. This is such an important detail in the Uprising arc, too, where Erwin firmly acknowledged that overthrowing the government might not actually be the right choice by him. It was simply what he saw as right. On a narrative level this avoids absolute truths and preference of one character perspective over the other and once again makes it about individual perspectives.

The theme of individual perspectives is so ingrained in this story at this point in my eyes that it's another cornerstone in understanding what is going on with Eren to me.

I think it's great.

I also really appreciate Annie and what was done with her in this chunk of chapters.

(Chapter 127)

There has been this narrative going around that proposes that the story is in Eren's corner too much. But these chapters are nothing but questioning Eren and Annie is one of the main voices in this. It's the Marleyan girls, really and I think this is a very necessary part of making the narrative work. Once again, it separates the narrative and character perspective.

It says that the Paradis side caring is about character perspective, not what the narrative sides with and Annie is even sympathetic to Mikasa in that instance.

She gets it. Unexpectedly, I think Annie might play a bigger role in taking down Eren than expected. Her character arc about deciding to no longer go with the flow because she doesn't want any more tragedy to happen is basically calling for it.

(Chapter 128)

Another element I've seen brought up is the fact that nobody seems to address the Bert-sized elephant in the room, but some of our characters are certainly thinking about him.

This is such a thematically strong element and really interesting because Connie joined the military to make his mom proud and be a good soldier. This is the motivation behind his claim when he says they are going to save the world. But what does becoming a good soldier mean, exactly?

Well, apparently possibly gunning down people you care about.

This moment is so good because it's another moment where the idea of glory in war is taken down a peg.

The moment with Connie declaring they're going to save the world is so often criticised, but it is actually turned on its head in 128. There is no heroics in this. This is actually Connie's big "killing a person" moment because it strips away the final bit of comfort in killing in war, the excuse of killing for good moral reasons.

It is also a wonderful complex evolution of the series' themes. Trost was about fighting monsters. In the Female Titan and Clash of Titan arcs some of those monsters turned out to be human. In the Uprising, Return to Shiganshina and Marley arcs all of those monsters turned out to be human and here in the War of Paradis arc, everyone is human and the only separating system is what everyone views as right.

I really hope the anime will let this chapter breathe a little bit more.

Moving on, I guess it is time to address the rumbling.

I love it as a horror spectacle.

(Chapter 130)

And I really I think it needs to be non-CG when animated. CG is fine in spectacle battles, but not in horror settings because it is too clean.

The rumbling needs to be disgusting and dirty.

Chapter 132 gave me one of the few moments in which I truly cared about Levi. I think him telling Hange to dedicate her heart was a very good moment to cap off their relationship. He sent another SL commander to fulfill their duty.

The speech about hatred in chapter 134 also stood out to me. I think it definitely should be fitted in there somewhere in this, but I also see a bunch of criticism for it.

I want to point out that this is the side of present Marley talking here. It's the military dictatorship.

It's the Nazis. I think the Nazis should feel regret for exploiting innocent people and admit they're wrong.

I also like how the horrors here are undoing the brainwashing and showing the truth to the citizens.

I guess you could read it as heavy-handed, but it is also something that needs to be addressed and in principle, it's not wrong.

I'm also going to put a mention of Historia here. I've talked about how this is my biggest and most glaring problem with the series because of how thematically unfitting it feels, but I've also talked about it in many posts. I wanted to focus more on other stuff in this post.

So now, we make it back to chapter 135.

I think having stewed on it for a month now, I like the element of mindscrewing our cast with the Titans of the people they love is the strongest element of it. It's making them face their personal traumas and we also get some great character moments and payoffs from it.

Mikasa ended off the year in a very good note in my eyes.

Even this deep in the story, this chapter left me in a situation where I have no idea how things might turn out.

I might have rough ideas, but not anything specific and that's fun.

Well, this is it on my retrospective.

2021 is confirmed to be AoT's final year of publication as volume 34 is set to be the story's final volume.

Those who hate the story can finally be free of it and those who care for it, can look back on it with fondness and sadness and many other emotions and evaluate.

It's been 7 years for me. What a wild ride.

So, I'm asking everyone, what are some of your observations on AoT in 2020?

Is there anything you'd like to add or do you have any observations or counterarguments for anything I've said?

I'd be curious to see what everyone else thought of AoT in 2020!

[thewalkingdead-fan101]

In this hell Daryl Dixon X Reader part 10/??

Hey everyone, It has been a little while since the last update and I am so sorry for the delay, but part 10 has now been posted after a month and a half of writing, deleting and re-writing! 

I hope you guys like this part! Also this part does have smut! 18+ only please! I apologise if the smut isn't written well as this is my first attempt at writing it! I have put the smut sectioning bold.

Warnings- SMUT 18+, Blood, Gore, General walking dead depictions, slow burn, swearing.

Time had felt like it had stopped completely. Every noise, every heart wrenching sob sounded ten times louder. The pungent metallic odour of the blood invaded my nose, stomach churning at the sharpness of it. No one spoke, no one moved after the last gunshot rang.

Carols sobs grew louder, more desperate as time passed. “Don't look. Don't look.” Daryl spoke, pushing them both up, and turning her around, to save her from seeing the bloodshed. She fought Daryl’s hold, pushing him away from her, and ran off.

Beth’s sobs were the only audible sound, other than the cicadas beyond the trees. Beth pushed Jimmy away, moving towards the mass pile of walkers.

“Wait.” Rick tried to stop her, only to have his hands slapped away. She bent down near a small pile of walkers, moving the arm of the top walker off of the one on the bottom. She turned over the bottom walker, kneeling by its head. Her sobs turned into screams as the walker grabbed Beth. Its decaying hands had gripped her shirt and hair, trying to pull her down.

Shane had wrapped his arms around Beth’s mid-section while Glenn grabbed the arms of the walker. “Come on! Pull her away, pull her away!” Jimmy yelled. Rick, Jimmy and Shane successfully pulled Beth away from the walker, Hershel throwing his arms around his daughter and moving her away from it. T-dog started kicking its skull in, Andrea cutting in for the headshot, the sharp side of the scythe now protruding from the front of its skull. Andrea retracted the scythe from the walker and let it drop.

Hershel tried to shield Beth from seeing their turned Friends, Neighbours and Family. He had turned around, moving away from the scene, taking Beth with him, Patricia going to the side to help comfort the young girl, Maggie walking in line with them.

I watched as Shane shook his head, making a beeline to Hershel and his family as soon as they’d walked near the fence. Glenn was walking behind Maggie, I had made my way behind Shane, Rick also tailing him. “We've been out. We've been combing these woods looking for her and she was in there all along? You knew?”

“Leave us alone.” Maggie snapped.

“Hey, Shane, just stop, man.” Glenn tried to stop my brother’s interrogation.

Rick had put his hand on Shanes shoulder, trying to pull him back.

“Get your hands off me.” He pushed Rick off of him, pointing at Hershel. “You knew, and you kept it from us.”

“I didn't know.” Hershel finally stuttered. “Shane! They didn’t know!” I ran in front of him, planting my hands on his chest trying to push him back. Shane gripped my hands with his own and threw them aside, pushing me out of the way.

“That's bullshit. I think y'all knew.” “We didn't know!” Maggie defended her family. “Why was she there?!” He asked. “Your - Otis put those people in the barn. Maybe he found her and put her in there before he was killed.” Hershel explained, stopping at the steps.

“You expect me to believe that? What, what do I - Do I look like an idiot to you?” Shane asked.

“Shane, hey hey hey.” Rick put his hand against his chest and stood between Shane and Hershel. “I don't care what you believe!” Hershel stated, pointing towards Shane. “Everybody just calm down.” Rick had tried to calmly push Shane back, Separating him from Hershel. 

Hershel stood forward and glared at Shane. “Get him off my land!”

“Please. No.” Rick tried to reason.

Shane taken a step forward, to get closer to Hershel.

“Let me tell you something man.” He reached out to grab him.

Rick had tried to separate the two.

“Hey!” Maggie called out as her hand collided with Shanes face, causing him to take a step back, Glenn intervening as soon as she got involved.

“Don't touch him! Haven't you done enough?” She sneered, turning and making her way to the door, Hershel following.

As Hershel stood by the door, he turned to us all. “I mean it… off my land.” He spoke, nodding as he went inside after his girls. Glenn shook his head and entered the house after the Greene’s.

We all stood in silence, Rick staring at Shane, who’d apparently taken to looking elsewhere. 

“What are you doing? Hey, what are you doing?” Rick asked as he walked closer to Shane, who was now staring at me. “Daryl almost died looking for her, Rick. Any one of us could have. I'm gonna tell you right now.. that son of a bitch, he knew.” He looked towards the house and pointed. “He didn't know. He's not like that. He opened his home to us.” Rick gestured. Shane shook his head and started to pace. “Put us all in danger. Man, he kept a barn full of walkers!” he argued, getting more and more worked up. “So you just start an insurrection, hand out guns and massacre his family?” Rick responded. “His family's dead, Rick.” Shane nodded. “Well, he doesn't believe that. He thinks you just murdered them in cold blood.” “His family’s dead, ours ain’t. He put Lori, your boy, my sister and this whole damn camp in danger. So, no man, I don't care what he thinks.” Shane shook his head.

Both men took a step forward and started to get louder as the spoke.

“I was handling it, brother. I was handling it and you just-“ “You had us out in those woods looking for a little girl that every single one of us knew was dead!” Shane yelled over the top of Rick. “That's what you did. Rick, you're just as delusional as that guy.” He snorted. “You are handling it, huh?” He stormed towards me, grabbing my arm. “Let’s go.” He spat, dragging me towards the group.

Shane had pulled me back down to the barn, to the rest of our group. Throwing my arm down after passing through the gate. Andrea had covered Sophia up, kneeling next to the blanket that she had put there. T-dog was pacing through and watching over the dead. Lori had been sitting next to Carl, not having moved since the massacre occurred. She motioned for me to sit with them, so I did. I took my place on the floor next to Carl. “Hey buddy.” I softly called, pushing the hair from his face. “I thought I'd find her.” He whispered to us both. Lori and I both shared a look before she spoke up. “We all did.” She nodded her head at her son.

“I mean me.. that I'd be the one. Like maybe she was hiding somewhere in a cave or a tree.” He paused, looking between Lori and I.  “She'd be safe and I'd find her and bring her back. He did the right thing, shooting her like that. I would've done it too.” He finished Lori sat in silence, just staring at her son. I opened my mouth, my brain blocking any response I could’ve mustered. “Dale?” Lori softly called out, gaining the elder man’s attention.

“Yeah?”

“Could you take Carl up to the house?” She asked, pausing, looking at her son, softly grabbing his head turning him to look at her. “I want you to rest.” She finished.

“Okay.” Carl nodded, getting himself off of the ground.

I watched as Dale and Carl walked toward the house, Rick walking toward the pair with Carls hat, sitting it on his sons head as they passed one another. Lori stood first, reaching down to help me up, which I gladly took. Rick was looking around, as we all stood silently. T-dog was the first to speak. “You want us to start burying?”

“We need a service. Carol would want that.” Andrea looked between us all.

“Yeah, we all want that.” T-dog agreed. The group stayed silent for a moment.

“Let’s, let's dig a grave for Sophia, Annette and Shawn.” Lori starter to speak, looking between myself, her husband, Shane, Andrea, T-dog and Jimmy. “Over by those trees. And we'll need a truck to move the bodies.” She nodded, motioning towards the trees. “I’ll get the keys.” Jimmy sighed, stepping forward, only to be stopped by Shane.

“No no. I got the truck.” Shane stalked away.

“And the others? That's a lot of digging.” Jimmy motioned to the bodies piled around us.

“We bury the ones we love and burn the rest.” Andrea explained. “It’s what we have do.” I nodded as he looked at me.

“Lets get to work.” Lori sighed stepping forward, softly grabbing her husbands arm and leading him away to talk.

I followed Andrea into the barn, placing my left hand over my mouth as the smell got stronger. “Oh god.” Andrea coughed, signalling that it wasn’t only affecting me. “They were feeding them.” I shook my head, looking around, bloody chicken feathers thrown about. “This is messed up.” Andrea sighed, as she turned a corner. “It is.. This whole situation is.” I sighed. “He did the right thing.” Her voice cut me out of my thoughts. “Who?” “Shane.” She spoke, looking over to me.

I scoffed.

“You’re kidding right?” “No. He did the right thing. There was a threat. He took care of it.” She shrugged. “It wasn’t his decision to make.” I shook my head. “He saved us.” “He is the one that put us in danger, what he did was stupid. Not only was it stupid, it was incredibly out of line.” I paused, glaring at her. “He put that family through hell today. He put Carol through hell!” I continued. “He didn’t know that she was in there!” She argued. “I know that! But my brother doesn’t think.” I paused again. “Shane doesn’t think about anything, he doesn’t think about the consequences of his actions, even if they affect us all.” “He is your brother.” “And? Just because he is my brother, I am expected to see things the way he does?” “No-“ “I know Shane a hell of a lot better than you do Andrea. He only wants what is good for him.” “You need to realise that before he hurts you.” I spoke softly, patting her shoulder and walking away in search of anything that could be useful. Andrea had looked down, my words sinking into her brain. I heard something in the smaller stall next to haystack.

Going against my better judgement, I took a step closer to the dusty stall, the wooden panels bloody. To the left of me there was an old barrel with a dusty pritchel, I reached over and took it into my hand. I looked over the railing, to see a walker laying on its back, its arms reaching out and lazily falling again.

The walker had been ripped apart by the other walkers, the only leftovers being its deteriorated ribcage, chest, arms and its head. Being this close to it had awoken its instincts as it slowly started to move its arms more, and the snarling began. I moved over to where the walker had been propped up and leant over the divider, forcing the pritchel into its skull, its arms dropping instantly. “Are you good?” Andrea called out.

“Yeah. There was a walker.” I looked over to her, her brow furrowed. She made her way over, the dirt and straw crunching beneath her shoes. Andrea stopped next to me and looked over the wall and her nose scrunched up. “They’re eating each other now?” “Must be.” I paused, looking up to meet her eye. “Its the survival of the fittest.” I continued. We both looked down at the walker, I reached down and pulled the pritchel out of its skull, dark blood squirting from the cavity it was embedded into. “Lets go back out, take him with us.” She nodded down to him, moving to do another search. “I’ve got him.” I made my way to the small gate and attempted to open it, the gate not moving, I looked over to a pile of crates that had fallen from the rafters above blocking the gate. I walked back over to where I had leant over, standing on the wooden railing and swung my leg over, jumping into the stall. I moved my hands and placed them under the walkers arms, bending down and heaving it up. Despite being only partially a body, head and arms, he was heavier than expected. I pushed the walker over the top of the divider and was met by Andrea with her arms crossed over her chest as it landed in front of her. “What?” “You could’ve dragged it out of there.” She nodded to the gate, her hands falling to her sides with two blankets, “If only it wasn’t blocked.” I sarcastically muttered, climbing back out of the stall. I reached down and grabbed the walkers wrist and dragged it behind me as I exited the barn. “What happened in there?” Shane asked as he slammed the truck door shut. “Found this chewed up walker inside. He was harmless.” I joked with a slight chuckle, dropping its arm as soon as it was on the edge of the body pile. He stormed over and roughly grabbed my arm, making everyone stop and look at us. “This ain’t a damn joke.” He sneered. “You must be plain stupid to be laughing about that, what if it bit you?” “Shane-“ Andrea tried to speak. “Shut up. I’m talking to (Y/n).” “Im fine. It. Was. Barely. Alive.” I spat each word at him. “Shane, she killed it.” Andrea placed her hand on his shoulder to have him shrug it off. “Go get the shovels.” He growled at me as he threw my arm down. “Sure thing.” I stood chest to chest with him, matching his glare. Shane looked away first, moving to the back of the truck. I looked at Andrea whose face had a look of hurt, as she watched Shane, slam the tray door of the truck down and start to move our loved ones into it.

I turned and made my way to the house, my eyes making contact with Lori’s and Rick’s, both of them looking worriedly at me. I slowed down and stopped by them. “What?” I asked softly. “Are you okay?” Rick asked, taking a step forward, placing a hand on my shoulder. “Yeah, I’m cool.” I smiled softly. “What was that down there?” Lori asked, looking past me at Shane. “Wish I knew.” I shrugged, moving to go get the shovels. “I’ll come with you!” Lori called.I met everyone at the agreed burial grounds with the shovels, Shane and Andrea coming over with the truck and the loved ones we were to bury.

I met everyone at the agreed burial grounds with the shovels, Shane and Andrea coming over with the truck and the loved ones we were to bury.

I met everyone at the agreed burial grounds with the shovels, Shane and Andrea coming over with the truck and the loved ones we were to bury. Shane snatched two shovels and gave one to Andrea, the two of them started to dig the one hole. I handed one to Jimmy and started to dig my own hole. “Hey, hey, hey. Give me that there shovel.” I looked up to be met with T-dog’s brown eyes. “Oh no, T. It’s fine.” “No, I’ll do it.” He smiled. “Honestly, T, I can do this.” “Oh I have no doubt in my mind that you can do this.” He paused. “Im not doing this for you. Im doing this for me. You see, I gotta stay in shape.” He flexed joking.

I shook my head and chuckled. “Oh, well. If that’s the case, I’d better let you do this.” I rolled my eyes handing him the shovel. “You won’t regret this.” He smiled, starting to dig. I looked over and saw Lori watching the farm house. I quietly walked over and stood next to her. “Are you okay?” “Yeah.” Lori sighed. “Do you think- Could you?” “Go and let them know that we’re burying their loved ones for them?” “Please?” She nodded. “I would, but I know that Maggie likes you.” She softly joked. “I mean, I am a pretty cool person.” I shrugged with a small laugh. “Ill go and see if they’ll come out.” I smiled, making the trek to the house.

As I got closer to the house, the more anxious I began to feel. I stopped at the bottom of the staircase and looked down at my hands, that had began to softly shake.

Closing my eyes I took a deep breath and tried to level out my breathing. I opened my eyes and walked to the door, softly knocking. I waited a few moments and placed my hand onto the door knob, gently pulling the door towards me, and looked up to see Patricia making her way to the door. “Hey.” I softly smiled. “Could I come in?” I asked. She nodded her head and led me to the living room, Maggie sitting with Glenn, Beth next to her father and Patricia standing behind Hershel and Beth. Hershel looked up from Beth and watched me intently. “You welcomed us to your property, and treated us with nothing but kindness, and for that I thank you. I am so sorry about Shane, what he did today was beyond out of line and I am disgusted.”  I paused, looking around the room, my cheeks becoming wet from tears, that I unwillingly shed. “I just wanted to talk to you about a burial. We found a nice little area, where we are digging graves for our loved ones, Annette, Shawn and little Sophia.” “We will be there.” Hershel spoke quickly, standing and vacating the room. Maggie nodded, as did Patricia, Beth sat staring ahead. “Im sorry.” I sighed, turning and walking towards the door to leave.

Once I made it on the porch I sat on the step and wiped my face, the light breeze tickling my cheeks.

I heard the door open and footsteps approaching me, stopping as they reached the steps, taking a seat next to me. “Thank you.” “You have nothing to thank me for.” I chuckled softly, turning to look at Maggie. “For coming, telling us about the burials, and apologising even though it wasn’t your fault.” “I know, I jus-“ “If you apologise for him again, im going to hit you.” She laughed softly, pulling me into a small side hug.

After an hour or so of digging, Lori looked over to the house and signalled that it was now time. We all respectively made our way to our funeral and watched as Andrea, Shane and T-dog put the bodies into the graves, and began to fill them with dirt.

Jimmy took his place by Beth, his arm wrapped gently around her as Maggie stood on the other side of her, next to her father. Hershel had made it clear to Maggie that she was to stand with her own people, not with the group who’d done nothing but ruin their lives. Carol had refused to leave the RV, ignoring everyone, other than a conversation with Lori and Daryl, that hadn’t been all that pleasant. I stood with Daryl, my arm wrapped around his as we stood by the graves in silence, Glenn, Andrea, T-dog and Dale stood in a small group, Rick slightly ahead of his little family, Shane in the back.

Shane had been the first person to retreat, the others slowly falling back as they left the graves. Daryl had looked down at me, and I moved my head to meet his eye, sadly smiling at him, making him nod his head gently, dropping my arm as he walked off. I sighed softly, making my way over to where the others were starting to pile the corpses into the truck. I bent down and grabbed one of the walkers under its arms, starting to drag it to the truck. The dead weight quickly becoming easier to lift. “Come on.” T-dog grunted softly, carrying it by its ankles. “I got it.” I smiled. “Nah, we got it.” He chuckled in response as we loaded it into the back. Andrea and Rick had also started to move the walkers. We all loaded up the truck, and wiped the sweat from our brows in the small breaks between. Andrea and T-dog picked up another corpse and carried it to the truck, heaving it into the back. “A few more trips.” Rick nodded to the left over bodies laying around.

“We got lucky. If that barn had any more, we could've been overrun.” Andrea noted.

“Good thing Shane did what he did when he did.” T-dog grunted.

“You can't tell me this was right.” Dale shook his head dumbfounded at T.

“It wasn't. It'll cost us with Hershel.” Rick was quick to answer.

“He's grieving. He'll come around, see we had no choice. Look, I shot too. This wasn't all Shane.” Andrea tried to argue once more for Shane.

“Look, I got no qualms about it. Walkers in my backyard? Hm-mmm.” T-dog shook his head.

“I’m not saying that we shouldn't have taken care of the problem, but creating a panic?!” Dale asked, looking between us all. “We could’ve handled it differently.” I nodded.

“There's no point arguing about it. It's done. There's nothing we can do about it.” Lori spoke looking between everyone. “Better get moving.” T-dog called out, getting into the drivers seat of the truck, the door closing with a slam. Lori took a step towards Dale and rested her hand on his shoulder briefly before passing.

The truck started and Andrea jumped onto the open tray, the two driving off to dump the bodies for burning. I made my way to the house, making a mental note to talk to Maggie. As I softly pulled the screen door open, I heard a series of clutters and breaking glass, and a heavy thud followed by A concerned Maggie. I swung the door open and ran inside to see Maggie kneeling next to Beth who was lying on the kitchen floor, Glenn standing by. I moved forward and carefully knelt next to Maggie. I reached out and checked Beths arms, my first thoughts being that of this morning when her mother had reanimated for a second time and attacked her. “What are you doing?” Maggie choked out. “Looking for a mark.” I replied, checking her scalp too. “Oh god.” She softly cried.

There wasn’t any mark on her torso, so I looked at Maggie and smiled softly. “Glenn, help me move her please.” I sighed, pushing Maggie away and hoisting her onto my left shoulder, Glenn quickly rushing to throw her arm over his right shoulder. “Her room is this way.” Maggie wiped her eyes and led us upstairs. Maggie pushed the dark door open, and stepped into the room. Watching as we gently put her onto the bed. “Im going to look for Hershel.” Glenn spoke, quickly leaving the room. “Thank you. For helping her.” “Maggie-“ “No, let me say this.” She sighed. “I, I didn’t think to check for a bite or a scratch. I was too lost in the moment.” She shook her head. “Maggie, it’s not your fault. She will be okay.”

We could hear Glenn’s heavy shoes hit the ground as he ran through the house on both floors, coming back to the room panting, shaking his head. “He isn’t here.” He mumbled, moving over to the window by the bed. Maggie instantly knelt on the bed next to her sister and softly moving her hair back. “Sweetie? Can you hear me?”

More footsteps sounded through the house and Lori stood in the door way. Maggie looked up and met Lori’s worried eyes. “Whats wrong with her?” Maggie desperately asked Lori. “She might be in shock. Where's Hershel?” She asked. “We can't find him anywhere.” Glenn shrugged looking at her, she turned on her heel and left. Lori had left to get Rick, and Shane who’d apparently been talking when she ran out to him. “Could you stay with her a minute?” Maggie asked as she looked at Beth. “Of course.” I nodded, a soft smile on my lips.

Maggie nodded, and left the room, Glenn following her as they left to speak with Rick. I looked over to Beth, who’d been in the same position since we’d carried her to her bed. I walked into the bathroom and wet a washcloth, walking back out and sitting onto the edge of the bed, softly dabbing the cloth to her forehead. “Im here for you sweetie.” I whispered as I continued to dab her forehead with the cloth. Beth had lost a little bit of the colour from her face, her neck covered in drops of sweat. I could hear Lori and Rick arguing in the hall about If him leaving was a good idea for the group or not. Maggie walked in and took the cloth from me. “Thank you.” “Anytime, im here.” I smiled as she sat on the seat near the bed. “(Y/n), can you help me for a bit?” Lori poked her head into the room and softly smiled. “Of course. Maggie, i’ll see you later.” I smiled. I met with Lori downstairs, she sat with her head in her hands on the double seater lounge. “Hey..” I softly spoke, Lori’s attention quickly landing to me. “Hey.” She nodded standing up. “What’s happening?” “Hershel has lost it. He just left.” She shook her head. “Can you blame him?” Lori opened her mouth and went to argue before I cut her off. “Don’t get me wrong Lori. He shouldn’t have left, he should’ve stayed with his family, but I can’t blame him. He watched our people, OUR people gun his family down. Albeit they weren’t his family anymore.” “They are going after him. To some bar in town.” “Who is?” “Rick and Glenn.” “And you’re worried..” “I am. The last time that my husband went on a rescue mission it was for nothing and we lost our people.” “It’s natural Lori, but you and I both know for a fact that Rick will come home to you. He knows that it’s you, Carl and the baby now. He wouldn’t do this if he didn’t think he would come back.”

Lori sighed, nodding her head. Rick, Glenn and Maggie all made their way down stairs.

Lori stood and glanced over to her husband who had opened his arms for her, which she accepted and strode over to his embrace.

I left the couples as they said goodbye to their partners.

I found myself searching the camp for Carol. Rick and Glenn had already left, and Lori was with her son. Daryl hadn’t come back from his walk and Andrea was still disposing of walkers with T. Out of the corner of my eye I saw movement near the barn. I slowly walked closer only to see Shane kneeling in front of Carol by the water pump. I stopped under the shade of the tree and leant against the rough bark. I continued to watch from afar as he dipped his hands into the small water dish that was connected to the pump, before washing her arms down with said water. Shane continued to wash her for a couple of minutes before standing, reaching out to her and helping her stand. Carol walked away and headed for the hill. Taking a breath I walked down to where Shane stood, watching Carol retreat. Shanes hand instinctively reached for his gun that he kept tucked into the back of his pants as he turned, dropping his demeanour after realising there was no threat. “Is Carol okay?” I asked, stopping a metre away from him. Shane nodded in response, taking a step forward, sighing when he noticed my step back. “I apologised to her.” “She isn’t the only one who deserves an apology.” “What are you talking about?” He shook his head. “Hershel, his family.” “Oh come on, not you too.” He scoffed. “No, Shane-“ “You know what, everyone thinks that I’m some coldhearted son of a bitch.” “Shane-“ “No, just listen.” He cut me off, his hand in the air. “I did what I had to do to protect this group, to protect our family, to protect you. I was trying to keep everyone safe, while Rick was out there playing catch the walker with Hershel.” He defended himself. “I had no idea that little girl was in there. If I did-“ he paused, shaking his head. “I know that you think you did the right thing, and im sure that to you it was the right thing. But you need to think about Hershel and what affect that this has had on him.” “Yeah, how it affects him.” He scoffed. “He thought he was going to get his wife back, he thought that he was going to get his step-son back. And it was ripped away from him.” “He was delusional, it wasn’t ever gonna happen.” “He had hope-“ “And look where that got him!” He yelled, gesturing to the house. “Shane, what you did-“ “I did what needed to be done to ensure the safety of the group. I will NOT apologise for that.” He shook his head, leaving hastily.

Kicking the dirt beneath my shoes, I lean my head back and covering my eyes with my hands. I sighed and began to walk back to the house. “(Y/n)!” I looked over to see Lori making her way towards me. “Lori, what’s up?” “Can you talk to Daryl?” “What about?” “Just go talk to him.” “I would, but I-“ “He is at the old cottage near the windmill.” “The run down one?” “Yeah. I just spoke to him. I think he needs you.” She spoke, quickly evading my questions and running into the house. I shook my head and grabbed the water bottle from my tent, making my way out to the old cottage. The walk took all but ten minutes, until the ruins of the old stone cottage came into view. Daryl was sitting against the wall of the cottage, sharpening points onto sticks. He looked up at the ground crunched under my steps, his gaze following me as I got closer. “Hey.” I smiled softly, extending my arm with the water bottle toward him. He reached out and took the bottle, twisting the top off and bringing it to his lips, some water leaking from the bottle and running down his chin. My heart started to beat the slightest bit faster, watching as the water drips from his chin down to his chest through the open V-neck of his shirt. I didn’t notice when Daryl removed the bottle from his lips. “Are ya’ okay?” “Hmm?” I asked looking up to meet his gaze. “Are ya’ okay?” He asked again. My cheeks became warm with embarrassment as he looked me over, handing the bottle back to me. “No, you keep it with you.” I smiled. “What are ya’ doing ‘ere?” He asked. “Lori said you needed me.” “That bitch.” He shook his head. “What? What happened?” “She wants me to go lookin’ for her bitch, another rescue mission. I told her no.” “What rescue mission?” “Somethin’ ‘bout goin’ into town. Bringing back Hershel and Rick.” I scoffed shaking my head. “You’re joking right?” I asked. “Bitch had the nerve to call me selfish.” My blood began to boil as soon as those words left his mouth. “Selfish?” I asked. “Selfish?” I asked again, absolutely dumbfounded by what Lori done.

Shaking my head I stormed off, Daryl quickly catching up, stopping infant of me. “What do ya’ think ya’ doing?” “I need to have a few words with Lori.” I sneered.  I go to leave, only for Daryl to pull my back into his chest, his breath softly hitting the nape of my neck. “Don’t waste ya’ breath on her.” “No Daryl, this isn’t okay!” I shook his hold from me, turning to look at him. “Who does she think she is? Acting like you’re disposable?” I scoff. He stayed quiet, watching my every move as I paced in front of him.

“I mean, I get it, she is worried about Rick. But she doesn’t need to drag you into this!” “She says you’re selfish, you are anything but selfish, you went out and searched for Sophia everyday, even when others couldn’t! And she thinks sending you after-“ -18+ Below- Daryl cut me off by pressing his lips roughly against mine, his hands sneaking their way into my hair. My hands gently reached up and rested onto his cheeks. Daryl slowly began to walk with me, my back pressing against the rough stone wall of the cottage. My back arched as he ran his hands down my sides, reaching behind to grab my ass, grinding his hips into mine. He let out a low moan against my lips, pulling away and grabbing the hem of my shirt, pulling it over my head and tossing it to the ground by our side.

My hands found the front of his vest and I began to unbutton it hastily as Daryl pressed his lips against my collar bone. I let out a soft moan as his lips sucked on my neck, Daryl pulling back, shedding himself of his vest, his hands moving to my back, unclasping my bra, letting it fall down my arms and to the ground. I leant into Daryls embrace as our lips once again connected, his bare chest against mine as his left hand reaches up and grabs my breast, his thumb rubbing over my sensitive nipple.

I whined softly as he moved his hands down to my hipbone, unbuttoning my jeans, sliding his right hadn’t into my underwear, his left on my waist holding me steady. “Look at ya’. Already a mess.” He smirked as his fingers teased my wet folds, inserting two fingers. I leant my head back and rested it against the wall as he slowly started to draw circles around my clit, each touch of his fingers sending a rush of heat to my core. I could feel Daryl’s hard length against my inner thigh, reaching down I move my hand into his jeans, softly stroking him. Daryl let out a moan at my touch, his lips moved down to my chest, softly sucking on the skin.

“I can’t wait, need ya’.” Daryl muttered against my skin.

I could feel Daryl move his hand out of my pants, quickly tugging at the hem, pulling my jeans off of my hips, watching them pool to the ground, along with my underwear. I gently removed my hand from him as he moved away slightly, pushing his own jeans down. His hands landed on my hips as he leant down and hooked my thighs over his waist, his arm over my head leaning against the wall. He moved his hand between my legs, rubbing his glistening head against my folds, causing my spine to shiver. His teeth brushed over my jaw and I whined as I felt my core clench around nothing as he teased me. “Are ya’ ready?” He asked against my jaw. I could only nod in response. Daryl lined himself up with my entrance and slowly pushed in, I dug my nails into his biceps as he slid further into me, letting out a low moan as I stretched around him. My back arched, pushing my chest further into his, consumed with the feeling of his cock inside of me. His cock dragged against my walls in slow strokes, leaving me feeling empty before filling me once more. My pussy clenching around him as he moved his hips into mine.

The sound of skin meeting skin, the grunts and moans from Daryl as he thrusted, sending waves of pleasure to my core.

“Daryl-“ I moaned, locking my heels together behind his back, pulling him closer with each thrust. “Ya’ feel so good, Always so tight.” He grunts, kissing behind my ear. The pressure in my stomach building more and more with every movement of my hips meeting his thrusts. Daryl started to pick up his pace, his hips now snapping up to meet mine as he snaked his hand down to my pussy, his thumb flicking against my bundle of nerves, eliciting a shriek from my lips. He smirked as he looked at me through his lashes, each hard thrust knocking the air out of my lungs. He pounds into me harder, his mouth attacking mine, his tongue entering my mouth as we both fight for dominance, a battle that is quickly won by him. The force of his thrusts pushing me further into the wall, surely leaving marks on my skin. The tension in my core was at boiling point, I closed my eyes as black dots began to cloud my vision, gasping as my chest heavily rose. Daryl groans as he looked down, watching as the base of his cock disappeared within my mound as he moved against me, his cock hitting the right spot. “Oh god..” I moaned, resting my head against his shoulder, I could feel his smirk as he hit the same spot repeatedly. “I got ya’ baby.” He panted, my orgasm close to erupting. He angled his hips slightly as he pulled out, thrusting hard into me, the coil snapping within as I pulled him closer by the neck, crashing my lips against his, moaning into his mouth. Daryl kept pushing further into me as I rode out my orgasm, gushing around him as he chased his own release. I look up at him through my lashes, pushing my hips to meet his own, my bottom lip between my teeth. “Ya’ perfect.” He muttered, delivering some harsh thrusts into me. His thrusts became sloppy as he bottomed out, resting his head against my shoulder, moaning as his orgasm hits, his cum coating my walls. His cock now soft, still buried in me, we stay in the same position, trying to catch out breath, he pressed a kiss to my shoulder. “I love you.” “I love ya’ too.” He mumbled, gently placing me down, his cock slipping out of me. We cleaned ourselves up and re-dressed. -End of 18+- The sun was descending over the paddock, illuminating the windmill. I reached down and grabbed Daryls hand, softly pulling him to follow me. “What?” “Lets go, get some dinner.” I smiled. Daryl let go of my hand and stalked back to the cottage, picking up his crossbow, putting it over his shoulder he walked back to me and took my hand, leading the way back to camp.

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