#((anyone that reads all of this i love and appreciate you SO much))

[tbaluver]

Hello 👋 love your work so much ❤️. Anyway can I request a scenario where the MC and l&ds boy were adult film actors or porn-stars if you prefer, like what each boy is like on and off camera.

P☆RN STA-A-A-A-AR- The Love And DeepSpace Men

pairings in order: Xavier x fem!Reader, Zayne x x fem!Reader, Rafayel x fem!Reader, Sylus x fem!Reader, Caleb x fem!Reader context: what it's like filming with your lover and behind the cameras genre: MDNI, smut smut, flitthyy but with aftercare a/n: hihi anonnie! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ thank you for supporting my works! srry i took a while writing this req i was going and forth with this during school as well so i hope i did this justice! if not ignore this for now ദ്ദി ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ ) i also added what they're like when they're filming by themselves i hope thats okay! and i hope you enjoy reading! (∩˃o˂∩)♡

any likes and reblogs are always appreciated! enjoy!

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆

Xavier:

tags: male masturbation, backshots, p in v

Solo Video:

Xavier is a well known porn star who prefers to keep his face and identity hidden to keep a low profile in public. With one hand subtly lifting the camera to focus on the bare lower half of his body, just enough to see the full view of his thighs twitch and tremble while the other hand strokes his length slowly, occasionally moving further down to cup his balls.

His viewers tuning in to his new video often see him lying comfortably on his bed, his sculpted body glowing under the light of his camera. His pretty pink tip glistened, making his viewers wonder how long he was going for when he made the video. Envy sparks among them as they wish they could be his bunny plushies resting beside him, wishing they could trade places. He knew what he was doing placing them there.

Soft whimpers escape his mouth as he pumps faster and faster, his chest rising and falling. You can tell he was so close from how his breathing stutters through the camera. Oh how badly the viewers wished they would get a glimpse of his flushed face. They would pay so much more if he’d let them.

Breathless, quiet pants of your name slip from his lips as he struggles to keep his voice down. He could feel his climax coming near, his orgasms building deep inside him and finally releasing his warm cum in thick spurts all over his defined abs.

The video cuts off there making viewers want more. The rest of his channel is filled with teasing mirror pics showcasing his defined physique while wearing his signature grey sweats. His fat cock makes an outline through the thin material while his large hands wrapped around his phone to carefully cover his face.

And his most popular videos? They’re the ones featuring you, his personal favorites.

On Camera With You:

The top of your dress was unbuttoned and tugged down to expose your breast. Your breast pressed against the window, exposed to, well, the backyard of your shared home with Xavier. He would never risk letting anyone catch even a glimpse of your bare body, hence why a lot of the videos that include you are covered or blurred out. The bottom of your dress was slightly pushed up, just enough to have Xavier sink his fat cock inside but also to slightly cover the curve of your ass.

He buries his head into your neck, your moans fogging up the window. “Mine..” He whispers in your ear, the sound of his hips slamming in and out of you relentlessly against you drowned it out. He drills into you harder, deeper, his mind focused on how wet your cunt feels around his dick.

His cock was hitting you so deeply that you felt like he was splitting you in two. “X-Xavier..!” You moan out, his hands travelling between your thighs to rub the bundle of nerves between your legs to give you that sudden stimulation. His hands caress the soft skin of your ass while he peppers sweet kisses down your neck as you both chase your high.

His hands make their way to pinch your perked nipples roughly as you press harder against the window which would leave a foggy mark later. You're almost there, from the way you’re clenching around him and the way he feels your thighs shake around his hand. All the pure sensation he was giving you was turning your brain into mush, your moans turning into incoherent babbles.

He angles his hips so you can feel his veiny fat cock hit right against the spongy sweet spot inside of you while continuing his animalistic pace. You felt that familiar knot in your stomach tighten again, waves of pleasure rushing through your body as you cum on his cock. With one final hard thrust, his cum seeps into you, filling you up to the brim. He rides out his orgasm, his hips stuttering.

He keeps his head nestled against your neck as you both catch your breath, his hands still resting on your hips. “You think you could do that again for me honey?” His warm breath brushes over your skin. You realized it a little too late but you’ve forgotten saying his name on camera would reveal his identity to the public.

“Mhm..” You hum weakly, your chest rising and falling as you tilt your head just enough to catch a glimpse of Xavier. Honestly, he could’ve easily edited that part out, but he’d rather film with you over and over again. For now this little video will be for you and him to keep.

Behind The Scenes With You:

“Did you feel good? Do you want more?” He asks, making sure you were one hundred percent satisfied and content. He isn’t asking for the video but rather if you still want to go on just for your pleasure. He doesn’t mind at all, he’s more than happy to keep going for as long as you want him too.

And once you were completely satisfied with your needs, he’d carry you to the bathroom, peppering you with so many sweet kisses. He sits you down on the bathroom counter as you both wait for the bathtub to fill and get to the perfect temperature. He dampens a rug to help clean you up, while admiring every inch of your body while pressing soft reassuring kisses to any surface he can reach. 

“Does this feel sore?” He asks softly, massaging your thigh after witnessing you tremble from today’s filming. And if it did, he’s quick to massage any sore spots while making sure there were any markings on your skin that needs tending too.

When the bathtub is finally filled to the perfect temperature, he carefully lifts you, stepping into the warm water together. He gently helps you wash and dry off. Afterwards, he slips you into one of his shirts that were way too oversized on you but perfectly comfortable.

He helps you settle onto the bed, adjusting your pillows just right before sinking into the bed right beside you. Thankfully, today’s video didn’t require the bed or you’d both be stuck on the couch waiting for fresh new sheets. He seriously thinks you should get more from how often you two make videos, but you both often forget.

With a soft chuckle at the thought, he grabs the blanket, tucking it around you both. His arms slip around you, pulling you closer as you two drift off into a peaceful sleep.

Zayne:

tags: male masturbation, p in v, reader riding zayne

Solo Video:

Most of Zayne’s solo videos feature him sitting in his office chair alone in his dimly lit room. His camera is usually propped up and behind it would be his computer playing a video you filmed touching yourself a while ago. When he’s by himself, he doesn’t remove every piece of clothing but when it's with you, it’s different. He often leaves his button up shirt unbuttoned, just enough to to reveal his defined muscles. His sleeves rolled up to show the scars on his arms, making viewers wonder if they were from you.

Even as a porn star, Zayne remains reserved, often cropping his face out just slightly in his videos, giving viewers a glimpse of his jawline to imagine his lips parting and his eyes shut from the absolute pleasure he was giving himself.

But to him, it would’ve been better if you were here.

Soft quiet groans slip past Zayne’s lips through the camera as his hand drags along his shaft faster now. He squeezes his fist even tighter, pumping faster into his sensitive hot pink tip as his cum spills out with uneven pants. His chest rising and falling, sweat coating his skin that made him glisten. The video ends like that with no outro, leaving viewers to look at the blank screen as they try to finish imagining sinking into his throbbing cock.

They can imagine all they want but the only way to know for sure is by clicking on the next few videos of you two together.

On Camera With You:

“You can do it, I know you can. I’m here.” He murmurs, his lips barely brushing by your ear. Both of his large hands rest on your waist, gently making soothing circles on your soft skin as you slowly sink into him inch by inch.

He was always so gentle and patient with his touches just as he is behind the cameras. Unlike the men you would see in stereotypical videos who rush into things quickly and end up finishing first.

A strangled whine travels up your throat once you finally let yourself down fully onto his cock. There's no doubt that he’s big. He’s so big that it makes you whimper every time he’s in you, splitting you open each time, making viewers completely jealous.

You both agreed it’s best to keep your faces hidden, unless of course you choose otherwise. Oftentimes, after filming you both make sure to blur your faces or crop them out the video. It’s truly a shame they’ll never have the view you have. His cheeks and ears are completely flushed, his lips swollen from all the kisses and biting, and that small pussy drunk smile he still has on whenever he watches you ride him.

“Are you okay?” He whispers, his large hands smoothing over your back. You nod against his shoulder, resting your forehead there for a moment. “Take your time,” He murmurs quietly, pressing a soft kiss at the top of your head. You always manage, every single time. However if you did want to stop, he would with no hesitation. Your hips shift in little experimental ruts, grinding slowly.

Once you angle your hips just right, you pull your face away from his shoulder, sitting up slightly. You whimper loudly, bouncing up and down on him faster. He knows you want to moan out his name but for the sake of the video and his identity you can’t. But he doesn’t mind starting all over again if it means he’ll see you like this again.

He never gets tired of the sight he had in front of him. If this was an addiction then don’t bother him finding a cure. Your body was glistening with sweat as you moved up and down on his length. And the way your face contorts from the pleasure you were getting was beautiful to him.

His hips stutter up involuntarily, instinctively, begging you to give him more. An intense amount of pleasure begins to flood you from the slick drag of his cock inside you, opening you completely and letting him get deeper inside of you. Your panting and whining drown out from the sound of wet skin slapping against wet skin in the room.

Your movements started to get sloppy as you desperately chased your high and with one final drop you completely buried yourself in him, your orgasm washing through you. Zayne’s hands tighten on your hips as he follows suit, cumming with a low groan. You could feel his cock pulse, stuffing your cunt full.

You melt on top of him, your chest rising and falling in sync with his as he rubs soothing circles on your back. You tilt your head slightly as he pulls you closer, his lips reaching for yours. “Thank you,” He murmurs against your lips. His body relaxes against yours as he rests his chin gently on top of your head.

Behind The Scenes With You:

The steady rhythm of Zayne’s slow breathing pulls you back to reality but his gentle caress trailing up and down your back almost lulls you to sleep on top of him. “I’m going to grab a few things to clean us up, love. I promise I’ll be quick okay?” He whispers softly. You nod slowly against his chest, too relaxed to say anything more. Gently, he lays you down beside him, propping the pillows behind you to make you more comfortable.

You watch his broad figure walk towards the door, a small smile tugging at your lips as you catch a glimpse of the marks you made from your film today. You let your eyes flutter closed for a couple minutes. However, it doesn’t last long when you hear the soft padding of his feet return and feel the subtle shift in the bed.

He comes back with a glass of cold water and a damp rag. “Come closer, you should drink,” He murmurs, slipping an arm under your back, lifting you slightly to help you sit up. You lean into him, sipping the cold water as he carefully brings the glass to your mouth. “Done?” He asks as he watches you pull away from the glass, your body sinking back into the softness of the bed. “Spread your legs a little, my love. I need to clean you up.” He sets the glass down beside the bed, brushing the damp rag over your inner thigh.

“Not too sore anywhere? How about here?” He asks, carefully massaging any tender spots, making sure he didn’t overdo it during filming. He watches your reactions closely, relief washing over him when you shake your head, offering a small smile.

“‘m okay Zayne, I promise.” His eyes soften, a tender smile curving on his lips too as he rubs your inner thigh in slow reassuring circles.

“Let’s take a quick bath, and then we can rest, okay?” He says softly. You nod, wrapping your arms around his neck as he effortlessly lifts you, cradling you against him as he carries you to the bathroom.

The water was already running. He’s prepared everything so quickly, just like he promised. As he helps you settle in the bathtub with him, you catch a glimpse of a neatly folded set of clothes on the counter after your bath.

Once you both finish washing off, he gently helps you dry off before turning his attention to himself. He grabs your favorite oversized shirts on the counter, the ones that always smell like him, pulling it over you.

After you’re both settled in comfortable clothes, he lifts you effortlessly, earning a small giggle from you. The walk back to the bedroom was short, just a few steps really, but he can’t help but love taking care of you.

He carefully sets you down on your side of the bed before climbing in beside you. He tucks the blankets around both of you, his arms pulling you closer. You rest your head against his chest, pressing a soft kiss at the top of your head before nuzzling closer to you.

Rafayel:

tags: male masturbation, backshots, p in v

Solo Video:

Rafayel is absolutely shameless whether he films with you or by himself.

He smirks when he sees more viewers coming in to join his stream. Sweat drips down his chest as his biceps flex as he bumps faster. “hah-i bet you like this don'tcha? filthy girl.”  Viewers flooded into his stream with compliments while some typed how they wished it was them instead of his hands. “Yeah? Am I making you feel good? You wish you were on this cock huh?” They typed promises in the chat how they would make him feel so good but Rafayel doubts that. He doesn’t need to even think about if they’d make him feel good because with you, he already has everything he needs.

He knows you’re watching so he must perform a good show for you while you’re away.

His head falls back slightly while his eyes remain half-lidded to watch the numbers go up. He lowers his gaze, watching his hand stroke up and down his cock, concentrating on his sensitive tip. His sweet moans echo through the livestream when he cums hard again. A few whines slip out of his slips as he watches his hot cum overflowing to his balls and onto his hand.

He pants, a smirk playing at his lips as he glances back at the stream. He reads the chat, viewers begging for one more round while he cleans himself up.

“Thanks for the tips everyone. Catch me and my cutie new video next week.”

And just like that, the livestream ends.

On Camera With You:

“fuuuuck you feel s-so ah! good cutie,” Rafayel lets out a loud pornagraphic moan, his grip on the camera unsteady as he struggles to focus his view but also to get the perfect shot of your ass bouncing off his dick. 

Ah, this position is one of his many favorites. He has your ass up in the air while one of his hands grip your hips tightly that will probably leave a bruising mark on it the morning after. Your back curves with your face against the plush of the pillows, it was a breathtaking sight and no one can ever take it from him. The viewers can look and touch themselves all they want but they can never have you.

Rafayel looks down to where you’re both connected, stretching you wider than ever before. The sight is mesmerizing and he can’t stop his moans from slipping out. 

His hips slap against yours while his hands roam around the soft surface of your back and your ass, occasionally giving it a tight squeeze. “mmmngh Raf-!” Your moans muffle through the pillow as pulsating pleasures send signals down to your core.

“Did you hah- like that pretty girl? Do mm- you want more? I’ll give you more,” The loud smack of his pelvis hitting your ass fills the room and each stroke he was pulling you down deeper onto his cock. He can’t take off his eyes on your pretty pussy and how it just swallows him up so perfectly. 

“feels ‘s good ‘s good-!” you slur your words which means he knows he’s doing it right. your muffled whines and moans and the wet sounds of your cunt were spurring him on. His heavy balls stains with your arousal as they slap against your puffy clit. Hearing you feel this good because of him, the way your pussy feels wrapped around his dick, it was too perfect.

One of his free hands trails down to rub your sensitive clit while he pounds into you harder. He lets out a small whimper when he feels your cunt start to tighten around him and the way you’re quivering means you’re close. “Look so pretty takin it, take it all for me yeah?”

The orgasm rips through you, soaking his cock. His hips stutter momentarily, thick white ropes of his cum paint your walls. He nearly sinks on top of you but instead he rolls onto his back, pulling you right beside him to see your pretty face.

He smiles warmly at you, brushing the hair away from your face as he turns off the camera, not caring whether he captured anything good at all. All he knows right now is that you’re perfect. Everything you do is perfect.

Behind The Scenes With You:

You two lie side by side, his nebula eyes staring right at yours, a soft smile never leaving his lips. His hands moved gently over your back as your limbs were tangled together. “How do you feel?” He whispers, his gaze never leaving yours.

“Good,” you reply, smiling back at him.

“Likeee realllyy good or just good?” He teases, both of you laughing. He grins, brushing his hand over your cheek. “Let’s get you cleaned up, yeah?” You nod as you watch him rise, his touch still lingering on your skin before he leaves.

You watch him leave, a small smirk curling on your lips as you watch his bare ass walk on full display before he disappears completely.

When he returns, he extends his hand to you, helping you drape yourself around him as he lifts you effortlessly into his arms. The bathroom smells like your favorite soap while bubbles are gently rising to the surface of the water. He carefully guides your tired body into the tub,  letting you sink into relaxation. “I’ll be right backkk cutie, just stay right there!” He boops your nose with the soapy bubbles, flashing you a wink before quickling walking away.

It takes him a few moments to return and when he does, he joins in right behind you. You relax, leaning your back against his chest. His hands help gently wash your sticky body with soap and water before washing his own. “Is this good?” He whispers, his warm breath fanning over your ear, earning a hum of approval from you.

After helping you finish drying off and getting dressed, he lifts you gently, carrying you back to the room where the sheets and blankets have been replaced by him, so you can rest in a freshly made bed.

He sinks into the bed with you, not letting you have a single moment to pass without wrapping his arms around you, earning a soft giggle from you from his clinginess. He tucks the covers around you both, his forehead gently resting against yours as you both begin to drift into a sleep. The perfect footage for the channel slips from his mind, he’ll worry about that tomorrow.

Sylus:

tags: male masturbation, size difference, p in v

Solo Video:

Sylus is often mischaracterized even in the industry. He doesn’t talk much in his own videos, leaving a lot of people to fantasize what he’s like in bed. Is he rough? Does he mind vanilla? What would he say to you? 

Well that’s only for you to know and hear.

His solo videos are often him sitting up in his dimly lit room, his legs spread enough to give the viewers a glimpse of his bulging veins on his inner thigh. He keeps eye contact on the camera while his large hand drags along his length. He found this, well, boring, without you. All he could think about was the money he’d make from this and the pretty outfits you’d been eyeing at the mall that he’d surprise you with. It’s a shame really, knowing that it would be easily ripped apart by him.

He imagines pleasing you, his tongue tasting your folds while you whine and babble about the clothes he got you, completely shredded. Those pretty little sounds were cute to him.

He imagines rolling his hips against you while your nails claw at his back as you hold on tightly to him. Sylus curses under his breath as he increases his pace on his hand. His eyes fluttering shut, his jaw clenching. His fist pumps into his sensitive tip, helping him closer to his orgasm. A deep groan falls from his lips, his hot cum overflowing in his hands.

The video ends there, offering viewers recommendations of his popular videos. The ones featuring you and him everywhere. And he wouldn’t want it any other way, showing off his beloved and how good you make him feel.

On Camera With You:

“S-Sylus..” you whimper, nails digging into his skin when he pulls out and slides back in slowly. Your head spins at how full you already feel, unconsciously tightening around him. He’s just so much bigger, bigger than what the viewers see on the screen. A groan rumbles in his broad muscular chest as his grip on your hips tightens. 

Inch by inch, he stretches you wider, stuffing you full of his cock. “Are you alright?” He whispers softly, not an ounce of teasing dripping in his tone as he checks to make sure if you’re okay. It was quiet enough that the camera can’t pick it up, intended only for you to hear.

You hum in approval, “K-keep going, please Sy more” your hips wiggling to signal him to keep going. He begins thrusting in and out of you, each stroke deep, brushing against your walls that felt so so good. Your viewers loved this. They loved watching his monster sized cock disappear into your pretty cunt. His size difference compared to your small frame turned people on while maintaining to be gentle and careful, quite different from the usual videos you would see in the industry.

“You’re doing so well, sound so pretty” he praises while he shallowly thrusts in you, the sounds in the room were so lewd from the squelching of your wetness. Each drag of his cock makes you feel every ridge and vein as he pulls in and out, earning soft mewls from you. “I’m gonna go faster now okay baby?” he murmurs waiting for your response.

With a breathless yes please sy, is all he needed to hear before he slams his entire length back in with a single thrust making you cry and babble incoherent words as he pistons in and out of you. Not even the tight grip you held onto him made you feel secure. He’s hitting depths that were only possible for him to find, each thrust sending shockwaves through your entire body making you chant his name brokenly. 

“Just like that,” he coos, pressing wet sloppy kisses down your neck. It’s too much. It’s too good. Your loud choked sobs captured by the camera as his tip mercilessly drills into that sweet spongy spot over and over again. “That’s it..C’mon sweetie give it to me”

Your walls clench around his length, waves of pleasure continue to wash over you as Sylus fucks you through your high. With a few final thrusts, he sinks his cock as deep as he can, his hips stutter momentarily, trying to milk every bit of his seed into you.

His body melting against you, both of you sticky and exhausted. Both of you breath heavily, the room filled with the sound of your uneven breaths. Once the high clears from his mind, he lifts his head, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips before softly pulling out. He doesn’t ignore your whine from the emptiness, gently soothing you with sweet praises and showering your face with tender kisses.

With one last kiss, he whispers, ‘I’ll be right back’ before turning off the camera to save you both some time to edit. Whether or not that final, intimate moment stays on film is your choice but the care he shows you behind the scenes remains unseen, something just for the two of you.

Behind The Scenes With You:

“I’ll be right back okay sweetie? Do you need anything?” He sits beside you on the bed, his large hand gently squeezing your thigh. You shake your head, offering a small and weak smile before he stands up and disappears from your sight.

A few minutes pass and he returns a few things in hand. He helps you sit up slowly as you take a few needed gulps while he gently cleans you up with the damp rag, massaging any area with some oils that he thinks is sore from the past scenes you’ve recorded for today.

You lay back down, letting out a deep exhale as exhaustion floods your body. Your eyes were growing heavy, nearly fluttering shut but Sylus stops you. “No yet sweetie,” he says softly. “I’ve got a bath running, and then you can rest okay?” He hovers above you, showering you with kisses just enough to keep you awake. With a weak ‘okay’, you give in. He carefully slides his arms around you, lifting you up and carrying you effortlessly to the bathroom. He checks the water temperature, adjusting it to your preference and once he’s satisfied, he carefully lowers you both into the warm, soothing water.

After the bath, he lifts you gently, carrying you to the counter by the sink to keep you from standing. He carefully dries your hair before grabbing one of his oversized shirts, the one you love so much, slipping it over your head. Once you're settled, he takes a quick moment to dry off, grabbing his robe before turning his attention back to you. He carries you to one of his many rooms, as the one you two filmed today needs to be cleaned.

“Would you like anything else?” He asks softly, helping you lay down on the bed, making sure you’re comfortable. You shake your head, pulling at the fabric of his robe to come join you. A low chuckle escapes him as he joins you, sitting up beside you and letting you snuggle closer to him. You rest your hands against his chest, feeling the rise and fall as he tucks you in. Editing the video can wait, right now it’s just the two of you.

Caleb:

a/n: his is shorter bc im still trying to figure out his personality but i wanted to include him ! tags: reader jorking caleb off

On Camera With You:

The camera was propped up by your kitchen table, near the windows so the natural lighting can capture his defined abs. You stood behind his seat, your fingers teasing his abs, tracing the lines as you go lower and lower. This was how many retakes by now? You stopped counting after the fifth one, losing track of how much he came too fast. The clips were too short but they were handy if you wanted to keep them to yourself, which you will.

“p-please, i need you,” Caleb whines once your finger lines over his waistband. His cock happily awaiting your touch beneath his boxers, again. “make me feel good, only you can. i’ll do good this time, p-promise.”” he’s already a whimpering mess and you haven’t even started yet. 

He helps you tug down his sweats along with his boxers, his heavy cock springing upwards to slap his torso from its release. His cock was so hard he thinks he might explode and you can tell his frustration from the tip of his cock, all hot pink and swollen just for you.He was already leaking again and you hardly touched him there.

You carefully wrap your hand around his shaft, stroking his cock up and down. His head falls back, his eyes fluttering shut as his hips rock slightly up into your hand, meeting your strokes. He’s trying so hard not to finish early again but how can he not when just your hand already feels so good. 

You pump him faster, leaning over with your other hand to squeeze his balls, your nails softly grazing onto the sensitive flesh. He lets out a loud whine when you twist your wrist around his glistening tip. “‘m gonna cum, fuck ii’m so ah! s-sorry!”  He whimpers loudly, spilling all over your hand with a pathetic whine. “I’m sorry..one more time..” He looks up at you with pleading eyes and who are you to say no? At least this time it was at least ten seconds longer than the last one

Behind The Scenes With You:

No matter who was more exhausted after filming, he always insisted on cooking you a delicious meal, despite any protests you might have. Sure he could easily order take out and have it delivered but he personally found it better to have a home cooked meal for a girl he absolutely loves who treats him so well.

But first, he’d make sure you were both freshened up, helping you slip into his favorite shirt, one that was oversized on you. Dressed in nothing but his grey sweats, he’d start up the stove, chopping vegetables to make the flavor pop. If you didn’t listen and rest in bed as he asked, he’d scoop you up effortlessly, ignoring your complaints as he carried you back to your shared room.

When the meal was ready, he’d bring over a tray with your favorite dishes, setting it right in your lap before settling right beside you.

[dailynnt]

FRIENDS WITHIN TUCHING DISTANCE

⊹ Summary: Jungkook and you, his childhood friend, live together in an apartment, sharing space as roommates. Your relationship, built on years of friendship, is gradually becoming strained by growing sexual tension. You decide to become friends with benefits, trying not to complicate your feelings. But Jungkook's world is not so simple. When you begin to realize that he is hiding something, you open the veil of his double life - a world of mafia, criminal activity, and risk that could ruin not only your deal, but everything you valued in each other.

⊹ Couple: Jeon Jungkook/ Fem!Reader

⊹ Characters: The Reader, Jeon Jungkook, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung, Min Yoongi, Kim Seokjin, Kim Namjoon, Jeon Hoseok.

⊹ 🔞 Age restrictions: 18+

⊹ 👩🏼‍❤️‍👨🏻 Relationships: ⚤

⊹ 📘 Number of part: 23/?

⊹ 🖇️ Tags: best friends, friends with benefits, slow longing, sexual tension, protected sex, unprotected sex, alcohol, drunken sex, inexperienced main character, mafia au, illegal trade, deaths of minor characters, weapons, swear words.

⊹ 👩🏼‍💻 From the author: Guys, I finally wrote a new part. It's been so long since I published the last part. I was promoted at work, so I work very hard and write at night. This part is big. Please let me know what you think about this part. By the way, the final part of the story will start from this part ❤️‍🔥💜💘

⊹ 🫂 Dedication: For you, my love @myjungkookthighs. You are my favorite person 😘🥰 You know that I appreciate you so much and LOVE you🥰💜

⊹ ⚠️ Warning: English is not my native language, so there may be mistakes in the text. Please don't get mad at me too much! Those under 18, please don't read this story!

⊹ 📋Tag list: @myjungkookthighs, @notsevenwithyou, @nikkinikj, @lovelyyylunaa222, @jiminiemanura, @jalexad, @kelsyx33, @bhonbhon, @unholyforjk, @ambiee3, @mianhae-baozi, @someoneelse0109, @medstudentlifestyle, @mskookie (If anyone wants to be in my tag list let me know)

≣ Chapter Index ↓

Part 23. The point of no return.

The rays of the morning sun were breaking through the heavy curtains, filling the room with soft warmth. You slowly opened your eyes, feeling a pleasant fatigue in every muscle.

Your eyes immediately fell on Jungkook, who was lying next to you. He was sleeping on his stomach, his face turned toward you, his hands under his pillow. His black hair was falling over his face, his naked back rising and falling in the rhythm of his breathing. He looked so relaxed, as if all the problems of the world had left him alone, at least for that night.

You smile involuntarily, admiring your lover. You notice his pouty lips and immediately have the urge to kiss them. But you restrain yourself.

You lie there and think that you finally feel good and you don’t feel the anxiety that has been present in you every day for the past five weeks. Jungkook is here and you're not going to leave him anymore.

You run your hand down your neck, feeling the warm memories of the night there. Your lips curved slightly into a smile, unable to hold back the quiet tremor in your chest.

You propped your head up with your hand, looking at him carefully. His body looked strong and yet tender in its vulnerability. You couldn't help but want to touch him. Your fingers almost automatically reached for Jungkook's hair, and as soon as they touched his strands, Jungkook moved, half-opening his eye lazily.

"Are you spying on me?" - He murmured, looking at you with one eye open, his voice hoarse and low from sleep.

"You're so cute when you sleep." - You replied, smiling. Jungkook opened his other eye and squinted as if trying to judge your tone, and a sly glint appeared in his eyes.

"Cute?" - He rolled onto his back, stretching his muscles that seemed to reveal his full strength. "I don't remember you calling me cute when you were screaming my name this night." - You rolled your eyes, but your cheeks turned treacherously pink.

"Someone's being overconfident here." - You said, throwing a pillow in his direction, but Jungkook easily intercepted it.

"Not that it's not true." - He replied, smiling slyly, and then he crept closer. His arm went around your waist and he pulled you close.

"Get over yourself, Jeon. I only accept your self-confidence because I've known you for so long." - You say, fighting the sensations of his kisses on your neck. "By the way, what are you doing?" - Jungkook kissed your neck slowly, he towered over you taking you captive with his body and arms that trapped you.

"What do you think I'm doing?" - Jungkook smiled slyly. Without waiting for your answer, he went back to kissing your neck. Just a few kisses, and you already seem to be wet and feel a pleasant throbbing in the upper part of your thighs.

"Are you serious?" - You said in a trembling voice. "We just woke up. We need to get cleaned up..." - You said. You haven't even gone to the bathroom or brushed your teeth.

"Baby, you look so delicious... how can I refuse myself to fuck you when I open my eyes?" - Jungkook whispered in your ear when he finished biting your lobe, his voice low and full of play.

"Jungkook! How can you say that? It's morning!" - You protested. Having sex right after waking up? Is he that insatiable?

"What? Is this a bad time?" - His fingers began to slide down your thighs, and his lips left a warm kiss on your temple.

"Jungkook! I didn't brush my teeth." - You said, a little embarrassed, and tried to pull away, but his hands held you steady, though gently.

"I don't care." - He said, and you felt his hand near the elastic of your pajama shorts.

"It's not hygienic." - You don't give up. But his hand has already slipped under your shorts and underwear. Jungkook's fingers touched your pussy, which was wet and ready to receive him right now. You bit your lip, closing your eyes at how pleasantly Jungkook was caressing your clit. He pulled his lips apart in a smile. You heard him sigh and knew it was a cocky smile.

"Who's so wet?" - He says quietly. You moan as his finger plunges into your passage and slowly fucks you.

"Kook..." - You breathe out. The Jungkook sucks on the skin of your neck. Shit, I think there are going to be marks. You should push him away, but the deeper he plunges his finger into you, the faster you forget what you were thinking.

"Mmm." - He purrs against the skin of your neck. His purr is vibrating in bass. "Do you want me to stop?" - He asks as he continues to fuck your aisle. He adds a second finger to create more pressure. But it's not enough for you. You move your hips to meet his fingers. Jungkook lifts the top of your pajamas to kiss your breasts. He sees your erect nipples and gets harder, even though he already woke up with a hard-on.

You don't even pay attention to his question because your mind is elsewhere. You get even more excited when Jungkook's tongue is on your nipples. He sucks on your bud, causing a pleasant pain. He bites down lightly on your sensitive skin and you hiss.

He smiles against your skin.

"I asked you something!" - Says Jungkook, turning to face you. You open your eyes and have a hard time remembering what he asked you. His finger is back on your clit.

"What?" - You squeaked out. "What did you ask?" - You asked again.

"Do you want me to stop?" - Jungkook repeats. You raise your eyebrows, moaning and feeling how soon you might come on his finger.

"You can only stop if you want to." - You said. Jungkook smiled, you're so provocative.

"Do you think I can do it?" - Jungkook asked, pushing his hard cock into you. You smile defiantly, he started it, why ask stupid questions?

"It's up to you." - You said. Jungkook suddenly took his finger away and when you realized it, you were shocked. Your eyes rounded and you did not take them away from him. Jungkook didn't take his eyes off you either. He threw back the blanket that covered you both and got out of bed. He left the room and you sat down, feeling disappointed and confused.

You straightened your clothes and put your feet down on the floor to follow Jungkook and ask him what happened. But before you could get out of bed, he came back into the room. Your eyes immediately fell on his crotch with a big hard-on. In just a second, you turned your gaze to his face, he was serious, and he was carrying something in his hands.

"Where are you going?" - He asked, standing in front of you. His crotch was almost in front of your face.

"I..." - You looked up at him in confusion, tilting your head back. "Why did you leave?" - You ask. Jungkook hands you some menthol-flavored lollipops and you look at them in confusion.

"I went to get lollipops." - He replies.

"Why did you bring them?" - You ask, unhappy. Jungkook leans in and you can smell the menthol as he speaks next to your face. He seems to have already tasted one.

"I want a menthol-flavored blowjob." - His smile is cheeky and demanding. You are frozen, not knowing how to respond. "So, are you going to give your boyfriend a good time?" - Jungkook asks you again, grabbing your chin with two fingers. You roll your eyes and he laughs out loud.

"Are you silly? Don’t said anything... Gone..." - You protest. Jungkook lets go of you, takes out a lollipop and shoves it into your mouth, dipping his fingers in with it. You taste the menthol and his fingers on your tongue. You look up at his figure towering over you. His eyes darken as you begin to suck on his fingers, which he uses to press down on your soft tongue.

"You'd better use your tongue for its intended purpose." - He says. Your lips stretch into a seductive smile. You released Jungkook's fingers from your mouth and reached for his boxers. You grabbed the elastic and pulled them down. They fell to his ankles, freeing Jungkook's cock.

Your mouth instantly filled with saliva. His cock was right in front of your eyes, thick, erect, and begging for affection. You took it in your hands and rolled it a couple of times to see the head. You stretched the skin and saw the purple tip of his cock, which was dripping with pre-cum.

You touched the tip with your tongue, wrapped around it, and felt Jungkook's cock twitch. Jungkook likes it. You looked up to see his face. You met his gaze, full of desire. He smiled at you from the corner of his mouth. You put the head of his penis in your mouth and sucked on it as if to create foreplay.

Jungkook put his hand on the back of your head, coming closer.

"Come on, baby, stop playing around. Just choke on my cock." - He says with authority, and you can't help but feel aroused by his low, commanding voice. You grab Jungkook's ass with one hand and pull him closer. You spread your legs wide to give him easy access to your mouth.

You swallow Jungkook's length, halfway down at first. Your jaw is open wide. You can feel his velvety skin on your tongue, and the taste of salty cum mixed with menthol lollipop. You suck Jungkook's cock like that for a while. Until you notice him twisting your hair around his fist and pushing your head to take him deeper.

You try to breathe deeply as his cock sinks deeper into your mouth. His head delivers the end of his tongue and your breathing speeds up. You fight the gag reflex.

"Breathe deeply. I'm going to be careful. If you feel like you can't take it, tap my thigh." - Jungkook says. You look at him and nod slightly in the affirmative. You put both hands on his hips, giving him full control. He uses your hair as a tool of control lever.

Your mouth is filled with his cock and he starts fucking it. At first it's slow, careful movements. You even move your head yourself, but with each successive stroke, Jungkook gets faster. He squeezes your hair harder and helps you suck his cock.

You can hear him moaning, not hiding his pleasure which your welcoming mouth gives him. You dig your nails into his skin and he likes the way you desperately suck his length, letting him fuck your throat.

Jungkook is so deep in your mouth that his pubic bone is just a few centimeters from your nose. You can feel your jaw getting tired and starting to ache from being open for so long. Tears gather in the corners of your eyes.

"It feels so good to fuck your throat. Do you like me fucking you in the mouth my little slut?" - Jungkook asks you and you leak onto your underwear. Your arousal increases to the maximum. You moan around his cock, closing your eyes. It's been a while since he last called you a whore. Why do you like it so much when he calls you that?

Jungkook picks up the pace. You can feel his hardening at your mouth. It doesn't take long for him to come in your mouth. His cum leaks out through the corners of your mouth. He twitches inside, and you greedily swallow everything Jungkook pours down your throat. He moans heavily and stops after a few more thrusts.

The pressure of his hand eases on your hair, and a moment later he pulls his softened cock out of you. You wipe your mouth with your finger, dipping your fingers into your mouth to make sure you don't miss a drop. Jungkook laughs with satisfaction and breathes heavily. His abs are clearly visible when he holds his breath to catch his breath.

"That was so good, baby." - Jungkook compliments you. He pulls to kiss you.

His tongue can enter your mouth without any obstacles. He can taste the menthol and his cum on your tongue. Jungkook kisses you greedily, his fingers clenching your jaw. When you both need air, he pulls away, but bites your lower lip one last time.

"I'm glad you liked it." - You say. Jungkook lifts you up, grabbing your hand. He dips his hand into your shorts and squeezes your buttocks, pulling you close.

"You have to have fun too. So choose either my cock or my tongue." - He offers you. It's hard to make a choice, you like his oral sex skills, but it's even harder to give up his cock. Jungkook kisses you while you make your decision, leaving you without clothes on. When you feel the air enveloping your skin, you pull away from Jungkook's mouth.

"Please fuck me, my love." - You ask, emphasizing the last word. You remember how much Jungkook liked it when you called him that. He breaks into a smile, leading you to the bed.

He lays you down on it, making you comfortable on the pillows. The sight of your exposed cunt and spread legs inviting him to fuck you instantly excites him so that he is hard again.

He makes himself comfortable between your legs, pressing his cock against your entrance. He touches your clit with his fingers, rubbing it to increase your desire. You sigh heavily as he presses with his cock and starts to plunge into you.

The pressure on the walls is pleasant and not painful at all. Jungkook takes his hand off your clit and pulls up the top of your pajamas to see your breasts. He plunges into you all the way and turns to adjust to your body.

He leans down to your chest and kisses the other breast that was neglected today. He swirls his tongue around, pressing pleasantly on your nipple. He continues kissing your breast, squeezing the flesh with his hand and start to move. The friction immediately gives you bliss. His cock inside you is always feeling like euphoria.

You feel slightly dizzy as he intense his movements and deepens his thrusts. He leans against your body as much as possible, so that he can go deeper into you, reaching the edges of your uterus.

You wrap your arms around his neck, scratching his skin a little as he finds the spot that gives you the most pleasure. Jungkook kisses you hard, sometimes biting your plump lips.

"Is that good?" - He wheezes as he drives his cock into you.

"Divine." - You breathe out. Your eyes are closed and your eyebrows are drawn together. You feel so good. Your orgasm builds with every thrust of Jungkook's hips. He hits your G-spot. But you need to warn Jungkook that you're not on the pill. He mustn't cum inside you again.

"Kook..." - You call out to him. You open your eyes and see beads of sweat covering his face.

"Are you coming soon, love?" - He asks. You are definitely on the verge of orgasm. The friction of his cock against your walls drives you into a frenzy.

"Yes, but..." - You don't get a chance to speak because Jungkook increases his pace just enough to bring you to a wave of bliss. Your walls clench around his cock and you come with a long moan. It doesn't take long for Jungkook to reach his high either. In a moment, he comes in your vagina.

Jungkook stops when he stops jerking inside you completely. You lick your dry lips and open your eyes, but you have to close them almost immediately because Jungkook is kissing you.

Jungkook kisses you with such tenderness that your heart momentarily forgets about your anxiety. His breathing is still heavy, his warm breath enveloping your face. He pulls away from your lips and touches your forehead, looking directly into your eyes.

"You're just incredible." - He whispers softly, smoothing your hair with his palm. But instead of feeling calm, you realize that the words you were trying to say earlier have remained unspoken.

"Kook..." - You begin, gently touching his shoulder. He looks up, slightly surprised by the change in your tone. "I... I don't take birth control pills. I haven't taken them since we broke up." - His eyes widen, and you can read a slight concern in them. He leans closer, his face taking on a serious expression.

"Are you... serious? Why did you stop drinking them? You should have kept going." - Jungkook says. You just nod silently, feeling a sea of emotions stirring inside you.

"I tried to tell you, but you..." - You smile slightly.

"Well, it doesn't mean you'll get pregnant right away. You must go pee. Later we'll go to the pharmacy to get some medicine." - Jungkook reassures you. You nod in agreement.

"Okay. But maybe you shouldn't come inside me so often. Maybe we should use condoms sometimes?" - You suggest. Jungkook is still inside you. You move your legs so they stop shaking. Jungkook leans over and speaks with authority, unhappy with your suggestion.

"I don't want to wear a condom because I want to feel you. It's your fault for letting me do it so early." - His voice is soft but firm. You roll your eyes a little, trying not to give in to the emotions he's stirring up.

"Hey, I let you because I wanted to feel you too. But I didn't think you'd come inside me all the time. Any contraception does not guarantee a hundred percent result. It's risky. We can't always do this. But if you're so persistent, then you have to be prepared for the consequences." - You say. Jungkook looks at you, and his lips stretch into a slight, almost cocky smile.

"I am ready for any consequences that include you. But I'm not ready to give up feeling you for who you are." - He says and finally pulls out of you. Jungkook lies down next to you, pulling you into his arms and covers you both with a blanket.

Your cheeks start to burn, but you pretend to stay calm.

"You sound like you want me to get pregnant with you." - You assume, lifting your head to see his face. His smile grows wider, and he leans in slightly to kiss you on the lips.

"You think? If it's baby from you, I don't mind." - Jungkook says.

"Jungkook, don't talk like that! We're not ready for that kind of thing yet." - You gasp and jokingly hit him on the shoulder.

"Who says I'm not ready?" - His tone is gentler, but you can sense that there's more to his words. You raise an eyebrow, looking at him with a slight smile.

"I don't think we're in the right place to have kids." - You say carefully. "Let's hurry to the pharmacy and get some breakfast. I'm so hungry." - You suggest, sitting down. Jungkook hums and tilts his head slightly as he watches you fix your hair and reach for the blanket to cover yourself. His gaze slides down your body, and he smiles, barely able to contain his pleasure.

"You're hungry, you say? I thought you got everything you wanted." - He jokes, referring to your recent sex.

You blush and throw a pillow at him.

"You fool! I meant the food, not that!" - Jungkook catches the pillow and laughs, leaning closer to kiss your forehead again.

"Okay, okay, food is food. But I definitely don't mind repeating what happened before. You're driving me crazy." - He confesses. God, this man. He is your undoing. You smile slyly, answering with a playful tone.

"Well, you'd better be careful, or you'll drive me to a hungry faint." - You say. He gets up from the bed and reaches for his boxers, keeping his eyes on you.

"God forbid. I don't want you to complain to me that I left you without energy. So let's go take a shower, and let's go have breakfast." - Jungkook says. You stand up with a smile, tying your robe around your waist.

"You're right. If I don't eat in half an hour, I'll eat your brains with a teaspoon." - You joke. Jungkook smiles, turning you around and kissing you softly on the neck.

"Your hungry soul is my responsibility. Now let's go before you start threatening me even more." - You both shower, get dressed, and within a few minutes you're out of the apartment holding hands, ready to spend the morning together.

Jungkook's Mercedes crosses the Yeongsan Bridge, which offers a wide view of the Han River. The sun had already risen and was gently caressing your face from one side. The cabin was silent, diluted only by the soft sound of the engine and the music from the radio.

You sat leaning on the armrest, watching the sun's rays reflect off the metal structures of the bridge. But this picture awakened an unpleasant memory.

Your heart clenched at the flash of memory: that terrible night when you had a fight with Jungkook and were kidnapped on this very bridge. Cold, fear, screams, and a sense of hopelessness filled your mind. It was a terrible ending to the old year and an even worse beginning to the new.

You blinked hard, trying to drive these thoughts away, and turned your gaze to the sun. It was rising above the horizon, promising a new day and perhaps new opportunities. You felt warm and calm in the car, as if this journey was erasing your worries. And despite all the horror and suffering you had experienced in the first month of the new year, you were now with Jungkook and you were not going to part with him again.

Jungkook, silent, looked from the road to your face. He reached out and gently touched your thigh. You looked down at his hand and did not hesitate to cover it with your own. Your fingers intertwined with his, and Jungkook squeezed them tightly, as if to say: "I'm here for you. You don't have to be afraid of anything."

You smiled and tilted your head, touching his shoulder. Then you suddenly remembered that you hadn't taken the pills you had bought before the trip. Pulling out a bottle of water and a blister, you quickly swallowed the emergency contraceptive, and Jungkook noticed and gave you a sly look.

"I guess you didn't have to do that." - He says, holding back a half-smile. You freeze with the bottle by your mouth and look at him angrily, raising an eyebrow.

"You mean you don't have to? Drink the medicine or something?" - You clarify. Jungkook looks in the side mirrors to overtake the car in front of him. You wait patiently for his answer.

"Yeah. You know, I wouldn't mind becoming a father this year." - He replies. Jungkook's voice was casual, but he had that mischievous glint in his eye. Your heart skipped a beat, the thought of Jungkook getting you pregnant, made you terrified and excited at the same time. You can't get pregnant, not now. Because you're still studying, your parents don't know about your relationship, and after all, Jungkook is a member of the mafia and his life is troubled. It's not a good time to get pregnant.

"Jungkook!" - You shouted, punching his shoulder. "Never joke about such things. It's like joking about the police or fines. So don't do it again!" - You finish by pointing your finger at Jungkook's face. He laughs gutturally.

"Come on, baby, it was just a joke. But I'm not against fatherhood." - Jungkook said. You snort in frustration, crossing your arms over your chest.

"Which fatherhood? Our parents don't even know we're dating." - You said. Jungkook looked at you.

"Is that a problem? Let's tell them." - He suggests in a completely casual voice. You turn your head sharply at him.

"Tell them?" - You ask again, as if you thought he wasn’t suggesting it.

"Yes." - He confirms his words. "We'll say you're pregnant so we can get married." - Jungkook says seriously, and you freeze with your mouth open. But when he starts laughing, you can't help but poke him in the shoulder angrily.

"Are you crazy? Why are you talking like that? I told you not to joke about it!!!" - You almost shout. Jungkook is amused by your anger. But to be honest, what he said sounded so intriguing.

"Okay, okay, I won't do it again." - Jungkook was protecting himself of your beatings. You stopped hitting him when he assured you. "But I'm serious, let's tell them. How about we go to their place for the weekend?" - He suggests. You breathe heavily, irritated by his behavior. But your boyfriend's serious tone and suggestion calms you down.

"That sounds good. Will you have a free weekend?" - You ask, but your voice is still a little sharp.

"Yes. Besides, I promised my mom I'd come back after the new year." - Jungkook confirms. You relax, and think you like his offer. It will be a great relief to finally tell your and his parents about your relationship. Because your friends seem to know you're dating anyway.

Jungkook parks the car in front of the elegant “Noir Brunch” sign, which stands out unobtrusively among the architecture of the not-so-wide street in Itaewon.

The café looks restrained but statusy: dark wood doors, gold accents on the sign, soft light coming through the large windows, which are covered with heavy velvet curtains. Morning silence reigns around, with only a light rustle of wind adding a sense of mystery.

"I think you'll like this place. They say it has the best French toast in town." - Jungkook says, turning to you and smiling.

You go inside, and the atmosphere of the cafe immediately envelops you in comfort. The interior is decorated with dark leather sofas, polished wood tables, dim light from pendant lamps, and a light aroma of coffee mixed with hints of cinnamon. Black-and-white photographs and noir-style posters line the walls.

The hostess, a tall man in an impeccable suit, greets you with a polite smile and gestures for you to follow him. You don't notice that before you are led to a table, Jungkook waves at the hostess to not emphasize his presence. But you weren't so dumb as to notice the word “Noir” in the name of the cafe and draw parallels, realizing that this is one of the establishments owned by Namjoon.

You are led to a table by a panoramic window. The soft sofa perfectly supports your back, creating a feeling of comfort. Junguk sits down next to you, clearly not wanting to be far away from you. You open the menu to place your order. The waiter who came to your table a moment ago. A young guy, about your age. He greets you and is ready to write down your order.

You order two croissants for yourself, opting out of French toast when you see the menu with an assortment of croissants that you love. You choose a salty croissant with ricotta and truffle oil and a chocolate croissant with butter. You also ordered a large cappuccino. Jungkook ordered eggs benedict with smoked salmon. To go with his cappuccino, he orders chocolate French toast, which you read is on the menu, served with ice cream and chocolate mousse pieces. Jungkook loves chocolate, and having known him for so long, you're not surprised at all by his choice of dessert.

While you wait for your order, you relax on the couch. Your head leans back and you look around.

The cafe is crowded. The waiters are in a hurry to bring out their orders. People occupy almost every table. It seems to be an elegant audience, those who like quiet conversations and classic aesthetics. This place is popular, it is immediately clear.

In one corner, you notice a couple talking with cautious smiles, sometimes casting glances at each other that betray hidden passion. Your eyes involuntarily return to Jungkook, who is sitting next to them. He is typing a message to someone.

You look at his handsome face and feel butterflies in your stomach. All your insides are fluttering at the thought of telling your parents about your relationship. You think they'll be happy, but you're still nervous for some reason.

Jungkook feels eyes on him and turns to look up at you. You don't have time to look away, thinking about your own and are instantly caught red-handed. You smile innocently, and Jungkook squints his eyes suspiciously.

"Doing it again? Admiring me?" - He asks playfully. So that's exactly what you were doing.

"I was trying to figure out if that's a new mole on your face or not." - You lie, so he won't know that you were really admiring him. Jungkook bursts out laughing. You find yourself smiling after him.

"Why are you such a little liar, baby?" - Jungkook asks you as he approaches you dangerously. He touches his nose to your jaw, running it along. You immediately shiver. Your pulse quickens, but you try to remain calm, even though you feel all the changed details of the world around you in his proximity.

"What are you doing? You shouldn't do that in public..." - You say. Jungkook kisses your earlobe and you flinch. He puts his hand on your thigh, which is not visible at the table. He moves his hand to your fly. You immediately grab his hand, not letting him continue. Jungkook pulls away from your earlobe and whispers, burning your skin.

"I want everyone to see that you're mine." - He says. You turn your head to him, and your lips are separated by a couple of centimeters. Jungkook's eyes fall to your lips and he literally holds on with his last strength not to kiss you.

"Why would you show this to anyone?" - You ask, lowering your voice. He becomes seductive.

"I don't know. I want all the assholes who look at you to see that they don't have a chance." - He replies, looking at your lips again. You laugh softly.

"What assholes? No one was looking at me when we walked in here." - You say.

"You just didn't pay attention. But I saw everything" - Jungkook tells you. You raise your eyebrows and pinch the corner of your mouth.

"Your jealousy is a turn-on." - You say. Jungkook laughs out loud. He takes your chin with his index finger and thumb and squeezes it lightly.

"Careful what you say, love. Don't make me drag you to the car to fuck your tight pussy for the second time tonight." - He says low. Now you're definitely turned on. How can Junguk influence you so easily? You smile, holding back your excitement, even though the throbbing between your legs has been there for a long time.

Jungkook kisses your lips anyway. He even pushes his tongue into your mouth, intertwining his own with yours. You can barely contain your moaning into his mouth and are nervous that you are sitting in a cafe and might be made fun of. They're not going to do that, are they?

Jungkook pulls away faster than you thought. He smiles right into your lips and then lets go, sitting up straight. He sniffles through his nose.

Just a moment later, a waiter comes to your table and brings your order. You overcome the hurricane that Jungkook's kiss has been building in your midsection and start eating. Only when the food is in front of your eyes do you really realize how hungry you are.

You take a sip of coffee, unable to resist its enticing aroma.

You hear your phone vibrate and see a message from Doohoon. Last night and this morning you experienced so many emotions that it feels like a lifetime. And you have completely forgotten about Doohoon.

You cast a cautious glance at Jungkook. He nonchalantly puts a piece of salmon in his mouth and checks his phone. You pick up yours and open the message.

10.01 AM | Doohoon: Good morning candy 😉 I'm picking you up around 8pm tonight. You promised we'd have dinner. Of course I won't accept any excuses. Even if the world ends, we will go to dinner with you 🙃

You immediately frown and unconsciously click your tongue. You really promised him. While reading the message, you didn't notice that Jungkook was looking at you the whole time. He noticed that someone had written to you. He sees your expression and tenses up. Is it easy to guess who wrote to you?

"Is something wrong, baby?" - Jungkook asks while chewing. You put the phone down as if to hide it, but you're not going to hide anything. You take a deep breath and put the phone down on the table.

"No." - You say short. Jungkook doesn't take his eyes off you, because he sees that you're going to keep talking. You take another sip of coffee and then speak. "When we weren't talking, Doohoon was always there for me. Then when he saved me in the warehouse...." - Jungkook grunted when he hears you say that he saved you. You raise your eyebrows and look at him with a question.

"It's okay, go ahead." - Jungkook tells you quickly.

"What did I say that was funny?" - You clarify.

"Just keep saying what you wanted to say. Later I'll tell you why I did it." - Jungkook replies. You look unhappy for a moment and then continue.

"Since then, he's been around me all the time, bothering me." - You continue. You don't notice how nervous Jungkook is. He looks down at his plate and continues eating. "He wants to be a friends. Of course, I didn't accept his friendship, but he didn't listen to me. By the way, he helped me find an apartment. Yesterday, he pressed me and invited me to dinner..." - Jungkook turns his head sharply to you, and he doesn't look annoyed, but he very much is. His eyebrows fly up, and he waits for you to continue. You look at your boyfriend awkwardly, and you really want to ask him what you should do. "That was before you came. So don't even look at me like that." - You say, feeling Jungkook's tension.

"How do I look at you?" - Jungkook wonders, smiling.

"As if I want to go with him." - You reply, offended.

"Do you?" - Jungkook asks. You glare at him fiercely. What kind of stupid question is that?

"Obviously not. But I've made many excuses. Today he wrote and said he doesn't accept excuses anymore. I don't know what to do..." - You say, asking Jungkook to tell you. But he doesn't say anything. He just smiles and goes back to eating breakfast. You stare at him in confusion. He should be throwing a tantrum, telling you that you shouldn't hang out with this bastard, but he's indifferently chewing on his smoked salmon.

You turn back to your plate and want to start eating breakfast, but you're annoyed that Jungkook hasn't said anything to you. You pick up the ricotta’s croissant and then throw it back on the plate.

"Why aren't you saying anything?" - You don't hold back.

"What am I supposed to say?" - He asks without turning to you. "Should I give you advice to have a dinner with him or not?" - Jungkook does turn to you. You are breathing nervously.

"At least. Because seems you don't care if I go to dinner with him or not." - You state. Jungkook throws his fork on the plate. It doesn't fall hard, but the sound of the impact is loud enough. Jungkook leans toward you, lowering his voice.

"What makes you think I don't care? You are a self-sufficient person and you have to make your own decision. I don't want to influence you." - Jungkook explains. You soften after hearing his words, but you're still not satisfied for some reason.

"I was expecting you to forbid me, as you always do. And then you suddenly thought I could make my own decisions." - You sneer. Jungkook quickly rolls her eyes, and you notice.

"I've always remembered that. Don't think that if Doohoon 'saved' you..." - He puts the word 'saved' in quotes and continues. "That he's no standing dangerous for you." - You analyze Jungkook's words, and something disturbing comes to mind. You remember how Doohoon threatened to show you his "true face" in the car and realize that Jungkook is probably right. Of course, you won't tell your boyfriend about it.

"If he's dangerous, even though I still don't understand why, should I don’t go to dinner with him?" - You ask. Jungkook is nervous, darts his eyes between yours and looks away.

"Whatever you want." - He says. You exhale nervously. You remain silent, going back to your food. You taste your croissant, and for some reason you don't like it. Jungkook finishes his egg and moves on to the chocolate toast. You see that he is still tense.

"I don't want to go. I really don't want to go." - You say sincerely and desperately, breaking the heavy silence between you. Jungkook looks at you and there is something warm and familiar in his eyes. He smiles out of the corner of his mouth.

"Then don't go." - He suggests. But you realize that you need to meet Doohoon. You need to tell him that you've made up with Jungkook and maybe beg him to leave you alone.

"He's not going to leave me alone, I just thought..." - You want to tell Jungkook what you think about talking nicely, but he interrupts.

"Should I kill him? So he'll leave you alone and you won't have to worry?" - Jungkook suggests. You instantly freeze. He doesn't sound like he's joking.

"No. Jungkook! I'm serious, let's not joke!" - You say. Jungkook looks you in the eye seriously.

"You think I'm joking now?" - He raises one eyebrow.

"Jungkook!!!" - You hiss. "You don't have to kill anyone. I wanted to tell you that maybe we should do the opposite."

"What do we mean the opposite?" - Jungkook doesn't understand.

"I mean, maybe we should explain everything to him in a nice way, and then he will realize that he has no chance and maybe he will calm down?" - You finish your thought. Jungkook presses his lips together in displeasure. You look at his mole under his lip, which immediately catches your attention.

"You can try. But I don't think it will work." - Jungkook says honestly.

"It's worth a try. I believe I can do it. I'll explain everything to him, tell him I love you, and no matter what he does, I'll not be able to reciprocate." - You say softly. Jungkook takes your hand in his and kisses your palm. He's happy to hear that you love him, but he doesn't like your idea.

"I don't know, baby. I wouldn't want you to go, but if you think you need to talk to them, then do it." - Jungkook supports your decision, like it or not. Now you are completely satisfied with his decision.

It is cool and damp outside. The sun has long since set, and you don't know where the fog came from, hiding the tops of the high-rise buildings in a thick sheet.

A gray Volvo parked nearby your driveway immediately catches your eye. You take a deep breath and exhale and open the car door with determination.

Doohoon greets you with a tired smile. You sit down next to him on the seat and smile back at him.

"Hi, candy." - He greets you and moves from his seat, looking you up and down. You were wearing simple black jeans with many pockets and a burgundy short jacket. You had a long, high ponytail tied back on your head.

"Hi." - You say briefly. You stare at the road in front of you, ignoring the view of Doohoon.

"How are you?" - He asks shortly. You tense up at his soft voice.

"Fine. How are you?" - You ask out of politeness.

"Seeing you made me feel better. I have a lot of work to do right now. A little overwhelmed to be honest." - Doohoon replies, and you tense up even more. Your shoulders are aching with tension.

"Let's go to Sambaek House, a restaurant a block away. I want samgyopsal, I haven't had it in so long." - You suggest, ignoring Doohoon's words. He purses his lips.

"I thought we were going to go to a European restaurant. You are a fan of it. I even made a reservation." - He sounds a little disappointed.

"But I'm not dressed for a restaurant at all. I wrote you that I was at the university and I don’t have a time to got dressed just before you arrived. And besides, I'm dying to eat some roast pork." - You're lying. In fact, you've been home all day after you and Jungkook had breakfast and he had to leave for business. You also chose the restaurant where you wanted to eat pork for a reason. It was a very popular place in Guro-gu, the neighborhood where you live now. It was crowded and close to your home. The perfect place for you to talk to Doohoon.

Doohoon changes the route. He realizes that if he doesn't listen to you, you will feel uncomfortable. So he agrees.

"Okay, candy, your wish is law."

You arrive quickly because it's literally just down the street. You barely find an open table and make yourself comfortable. You order two large portions of rice, plates of raw meat-marinated and unmarinated, kimchi, binnamul (soybean sprouts), and pickled radish. And of course, lettuce and sesame seeds, without which any samgyopsal is not as tasty. Finally, you order a bottle of beer and glasses of soju.

You don't wait long. In just a minute, you're served meat, rice, and Korean salads. You start eating kimchi with rice, and Doohoon starts grilling the meat. He's dressed up and looks like a real drama guy, so the looks of the half-drunk girls who come to this restaurant after work are too frank to ignore. But he does. Because he's only interested in you.

You have a small talk and you feel awkward. You haven't really spent much time with Doohoon since he showed up before the new year. Before that, you hadn't spoken to him in three years, and he was the second person you didn't want to get to know. Doohoon, on the other hand, craved your attention and wanted to know everything about you, but you skillfully hid everything from him. Of course, not taking into account the facts that he learned about you without your knowledge. In short, he knew everything about you, and you thought he knew nothing.

After eating a little and drinking one glass of beer with the roast pork, you finally decided to talk to Doohoon about why you agreed to come to this dinner. You took a sip of the beer Doohoon poured you and cleared your throat.

"Doohoon, there's something I really wanted to talk to you about." - You say softly. Doohoon looks up at you as he continues to grill the pork. He looks at you for a long few seconds, wondering what you'd like to talk about, and finally answers.

"Yes, candy. I'm listening to you." - He says, shouting a little over the meat's sizzling and the voices around him. You shift in your chair, not knowing why you're nervous. You shouldn't be afraid to tell Doohoon about you and Jungkook.

"I made up with Jungkook." - You start. You don't expect Doohoon to drop the tongs for meat. The metal hitting the grill makes you flinch. Doohoon almost instantly picks them up and leans closer.

"I'm sorry, they just slipped out of my hands. I didn't hear what you said, repeat it. People are talking so loud." - He's lying. In fact, he did hear what you said. He just can't get his ears to stop banging. He has to make sure you said what he heard first. You smile nervously and repeat.

"I made up with Jungkook. I realized that I love him and I can't live without him. So I accept him as he is." - You pause briefly and continue. "I'm sorry about this, but Doohoon it’s the main reason I won't be able to respond to your feelings. So please forgive me, and don't misunderstand me. I love Jungkook and he loves me. We are dating. Knowing how bad your relationship is, I don't want you to continue to fight because of me, so I think it's only logical that we don't have to communicate anymore." - You finally finish your thought. Doohoon, who had been grilling the meat the whole time and not looking at you, put down his chopsticks and took a drink of beer. He looked up at you and smiled.

"How long ago did you make up?" - He asked. You stared intently into his face. He definitely didn't know that you made up with Jungkook because he was surprised.

"Yesterday. It happened yesterday." - You admit. Doohoon nods his head and purses his lips.

"So you accept who he is because you love him?" - Doohoon clarifies for himself. You can hear your heart beating fast in your chest. You shouldn't be nervous, but for some reason you are, and you can't figure out why.

"Yes. I love him." - You say, unable to hold back a slight smile.

These words are like the sharpest knife for Doohoon, cutting his heart in half. He boils in the middle, but remains completely calm. Doohoon takes a few more sips of beer, longer ones, and puts the glass on the table.

You've upset him. You pissed him off. You fucking pissed him off. He's furious on and wants to just smash this table, this restaurant, and the whole world for being you so stupid and in love with Jungkook.

He tried his best to make Jungkook look bad to you, but you're blind. You don't see what Doohoon sees. And he sees Jungkook's true face, and it's a clear, vile, dangerous creature who doesn't deserve to touch you, let alone be around you.

You deserve better than that. You deserve stability, protection, peace. You deserve it. And instead you choose... this. His blood boils at the thought.

He scans your face in silence, your smile that you don't even try to hide when you talk about that bastard. Doohoon knows that if he lets his emotions run wild now, everything will go to hell. So he just picks up the tongs again, tosses the meat on the grill, and pretends to listen to you calmly.

"I understand you." - He finally says. "And I will respect your choice. But I have a request for you. A small one." - He clarifies. And you tense up again because you're afraid you can't fulfill this request.

"What is it?" - You ask cautiously.

"I don't want to stop being your friend. You know our history of friendship is also very long. So I'm asking you to let me write to you sometimes to see how you are doing. And sometimes we can meet to just eat together, like today." - Doohoon asks you, smiling, so that you can be sure of his "good" intentions. But you don't answer right away. You look at him distantly. As usual, you can't believe him right away. But soon your trust will not matter because you will be his anyway. Whether you want to be or not.

"I don't know, Doohoon. I don't want to hide anything from Jungkook. So let me discuss it with him and I let you know." - you say. Doohoon laughs in frustration.

"Then it's doomed to fail right away." - He says, as he piles more meat on your plate.

"You think?" - You ask.

"He obviously hates me. Have you forgotten when he put a gun to my head?" - Doohoon says as if by accident. And you instantly freeze. Your fingers grip the chopsticks a little harder than necessary.

Memories of that moment pierce through you, making your heart beat loudly. You remember that day. How everything turned to chaos.

"I remember, but he wasn't himself then..." - You try to justify Jungkook. You're interrupted by Doohoon.

"Candy, there's no point in saying whether he was himself or not. It's a fact that he's a gangster and you're the only one who has to live with it, because you chose him. If you manage to convince him that I'm just a friend and I want you to be okay, I'll be happy. If not, then that's the way it will be." - Doohoon says. You look at him and something unpleasant settles in your heart. You don't want Doohoon in your life, and that's a fact. But in order to appease him, to make him less of a nuisance, you must now try to persuade Jungkook.

Doohoon puts the meat on the grill again, turning the conversation to something mundane. He realizes that there's only one way to win you over, and that's to destroy Jungkook. But he has to think carefully about how to do it. He has to come up with a new, more effective plan. And now he won't be acting through you, but through Namjoon, who won't forgive him so easily like you did.

Doohoon looks at you as you tell him about the topic of your thesis, but his thoughts are far from reality.

"You have no idea how close I am to changing everything." - He thinks. You smile, and he stares into your face, mesmerized. Jungkook doesn't deserve you. That's why you have to be his. You're the reason for Doohoon’s existence.

↰ Previous chapter ⋮ ≣ Index ↓ ⋮ Next chapter ↱

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Dumbledore is a little full of himself

Like, I read Tales of Beedle the Bard, and I was struck by how Dumbledore comments on his own cleverness and knowledge in his notes incredibly often:

This prejudice eventually died out in the face of overwhelming evidence that some of the world’s most brilliant wizards(3) were, to use the common phrase, “Muggle-lovers”. [...] 3 Such as myself.

(Albus Dumbledore on “The Wizard and the Hopping Pot”)

I think I may say, without vanity, that both my Fountain and my Hill performed the parts allotted to them with simple goodwill. Alas, that the same could not be said of the rest of the cast.

(Albus Dumbledore on “The Fountain of Fair Fortune”)

Even I, Albus Dumbledore, would find it easiest to refuse the Invisibility Cloak; which only goes to show that, clever as I am, I remain just as big a fool as anyone else.

(Albus Dumbledore on “The Tale of the Three Brothers”)

The guy can hardly talk about anything without talking about how smart and wise and brilliant he is. Like, no humility whatsoever.

In the books, everyone keeps singing his praises like Dumbledore can do no wrong and the only one who keeps saying Dumbledore can be wrong is Harry. And even then, in Harry's limbo vision of King's Cross, which I don't think is really Dumbledore, it's telling Harry envisions him saying something like this:

“And you knew this? You knew — all along?” “I guessed. But my guesses have usually been good,” said Dumbledore happily

(DH, Ch35)

Dumbledore doesn't speak to Harry all that often throughout the series, with book 6 being the one he interacts with him the most. And we see that even in conversations with people, Dumbledore loves to hear how wise and great he is. When he says "I might be mistaken" it's with the tone of "I'm right and everyone else is wrong". Which is usually the case often enough, yes (though not always), but he does it a lot, and I found it interesting how often he uses this phrasing and how smug he seems about it:

And then Dumbledore called out from the back row where he stood with the other teachers — “Aha! Unless I am very much mistaken, the delegation from Beauxbatons approaches!” (GOF)

“I may be wrong,” said Dumbledore pleasantly, “but I am sure that under the Wizengamot Charter of Rights, the accused has the right to present witnesses for his or her case? Isn’t that the policy of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Madam Bones?” he continued, addressing the witch in the monocle. (OotP)

“Payment?” said Harry. “You’ve got to give the door something?” “Yes,” said Dumbledore. “Blood, if I am not much mistaken.” (HBP)

Dumbledore uses this phrasing when he knows what he is saying is correct. He is saying it not because he thinks he might actually be wrong. When he actually thinks he is wrong, he makes excuses and tries to reason why the decision he made was actually reasonable at the time:

“Harry, I owe you an explanation,” said Dumbledore. “An explanation of an old man’s mistakes. For I see now that what I have done, and not done, with regard to you, bears all the hallmarks of the failings of age. Youth cannot know how age thinks and feels. But old men are guilty if they forget what it was to be young ... and I seem to have forgotten lately...”

(OotP)

He is incapable of saying: "I was wrong, it happens, let's move on," it has to come with reasoning or an excuse. He blames it on his age, not that he made a wrong judgment call. This isn't humbleness.

Dumbledore is a character who wants to be humble but just isn't. he considers modesty a virtue. Hell, humility is practically his favorite trait Harry possess:

Harry, who could not see any way out of this without flatly lying, nodded but still said nothing. Slughorn beamed at him. “So modest, so modest, no wonder Dumbledore is so fond — you were there, then?

(HBP) - Slughorn mentions how Dumbledore appreciates modesty.

The third brother in the story (“the humblest and also the wisest”) is the only one who understands that, having narrowly escaped Death once, the best he can hope for is to postpone their next meeting for as long as possible.

(Albus Dumbledore on “The Tale of the Three Brothers”)

He appreciates being humble and modest and sees it as being wise. He derides Tom for thinking of himself as "special" or "clever" even when it's true (and when he does the same). He loves Harry's modesty, which is really low self-esteem, not modesty. Harry's low self-worth is like the ultimate humbleness in Dumbledore's eyes because he doesn't see it for what it is and he was never humble in his life, so he doesn't really know where the balance between confidence and arrogance is or the line between modesty and low self-worth. I think he honestly doesn't know because he is exceptionally arrogant.

Dumbledore created this image of ineffability around him and it's clear Harry is one of the only people (besides Dumbledore and Aberforth) who knows Dumbledore can make a mistake and he keeps reminding Hermione, Lupin, and literally everyone else of that fact:

“People have said it, many times. It comes down to whether or not you trust Dumbledore’s judgment. I do; therefore, I trust Severus.” “But Dumbledore can make mistakes,” argued Harry. “He says it himself. And you” — he looked Lupin straight in the eye — “do you honestly like Snape?”

(HBP)

This is all another case of Dumbledore being incapable of practicing what he preaches. He values modesty, but he doesn't seem to be capable of it.

Now, I'm not saying he isn't clever or special, he is. But he is the type of really smart person who looks down on anyone they don't see as intelligent as them. He doesn't see most people as equal to him.

Dumbledore doesn't see most of the Order or Aberforth as his equals. He never did. Elphias Doge kisses his ass, but Dumbledore clearly doesn't share the same level of respect for him. Or for most people, really.

“Elphias Doge mentioned her to us,” said Harry, trying to spare Hermione. “That old berk,” muttered Aberforth, taking another swig of mead. “Thought the sun shone out of my brother’s every office, he did. Well, so did plenty of people, you three included, by the looks of it.” Harry kept quiet. He did not want to express the doubts and uncertainties about Dumbledore that had riddled him for months now. [...] “Grindelwald. And at last, my brother had an equal to talk to someone just as bright and talented as he was. And looking after Ariana took a backseat then, while they were hatching all their plans for a new Wizarding order and looking for Hallows, and whatever else it was they were so interested in.

(DH)

Dumbledore doesn't trust the majority of the Order with anything because he doesn't think they'd be capable of handling it because they're not him. He literally tells them nothing until he has to, keeping them busy guarding a prophecy he knows can't be stolen by a run-of-the-mill Death Eater. He only tells Harry about the Horcruxes because he has no choice but to tell him. Same with Snape — Dumbledore trusts him out of necessity.

Snape and Grindelwald are the only people we see Dumbledore show respect towards their abilities, wisdom, and magic in some capacity.

Like, he calls Sirius clever, but he talks about him as foolish in the same breath. He calls McGonagall wise, but he clearly doesn't think she's wise enough to be told anything or trusted with anything. And while he does speak highly of Harry's courage and humility and though Harry is insanely powerful and with the right training could beat Dumbledore, Dumbledore keeps putting him down when it comes to magical abilities/intelligence compared to himself:

“I’m not upset.” “Harry, you were never a good Occlumens — ”

(HBP) - even though Harry can and does get really good at it once he does it his way.

“I do not think you will count, Harry: You are underage and unqualified. Voldemort would never have expected a sixteen-year-old to reach this place: I think it unlikely that your powers will register compared to mine.”

(HBP)

I find this tendency of Dumbledore to be really interesting. He underestimates people constantly and thinks too highly of himself. and he is very honest about it to people's faces. He keeps talking about how Voldemort’s defenses on his Horcruxes are shit, and how Voldemort is foolish when the curse Voldemort left on the ring is literally killing him at that very moment:

“I do not think you will count, Harry: You are underage and unqualified. Voldemort would never have expected a sixteen-year-old to reach this place: I think it unlikely that your powers will register compared to mine.” These words did nothing to raise Harry’s morale; perhaps Dumbledore knew it, for he added, “Voldemort’s mistake, Harry, Voldemort’s mistake ... Age is foolish and forgetful when it underestimates youth. ... Now, you first this time, and be careful not to touch the water.”

(HBP)

Dumbledore thinking himself so clever, more clever than Voldemort, is what killed him. His arrogant insistence that he's the smartest man in the room killed him. He is undermining Voldemort for mistakes similar to the ones he makes regularly when interacting with Harry. And he's aware of that. He knows he's a hypocrite:

When I discovered it, after all those years, buried in the abandoned home of the Gaunts—the Hallow I had craved most of all, though in my youth I had wanted it for very different reasons—I lost my head, Harry. I quite forgot that it was now a Horcrux, that the ring was sure to carry a curse. I picked it up, and I put it on, and for a second I imagined that I was about to see Ariana, and my mother, and my father, and to tell them how very, very sorry I was . . . “I was such a fool, Harry. After all those years I had learned nothing. I was unworthy to unite the Deadly Hallows. I had proved it time and again, and here was the final proof.”

(DH) - Dumbledore's portrait

I think Dumbledore's self-awareness is why he wants to like Harry as much as he does. While I don't think Dumbledore knows Harry as well as he thinks he does, what Dumbledore does see is enough for him to imagine Harry in his head as this perfect, virtuous martyr that he wished all his life to portray himself as. He idealizes who he imagines Harry is without fully respecting Harry as his own person with his own abilities.

I just find it interesting that for a character who speaks so highly of humility, he doesn't seem to possess it, and that it ends up being the death of him.

[the-court-of-dreams]

ONYX STORM SPOILERS

.

.

.

.

Quotes that KILLED ME in Onyx Storm

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

1)

To the ones who don’t run with the popular crowd, the ones who get caught reading under their desks, the ones who feel like they never get invited, included, or represented. Get your leathers. We have dragons to ride.

Books have always been a safe place for me. I still remember picking up The Hobbit when I was still a kid, closing my bedroom door and going on an adventure. I'm almost 25 now and I still love going on adventures. From magic schools to institutes, hidden cities to castles, forests to enormous capitals. With cars and ships and horses and broomsticks and dragons. Every story, a new adventure. Every book, a new journey. Oh, how I love travelling!

I only ever had one friend who loves reading as much as I do and our conversations about books, the hours we spend making theories, and analysing everything that happened... they are some of my most beloved moments. ( @strovilos , you are the joy of my life) My other friends don't understand as much, it's okay. I' ve always been the kid hiding books under my desk, staying up past my bedtime with a light under the covers. So yeah... that dedication really got me.

I was invited to places, but I almost never felt included while being there. That was okay too.

I always preferred riding dragons anyway.

2)

Xaden is mine. My heart, my soul, my everything. He channeled from the earth to save me, and I’ll scour the world until I find a way to save him right back.

Wow, that didn't take long at all, huh? Straight in the fucking feels.

3)

I could reach the rank of Maven, lead armies of dark wielders against everyone we care for, and watch every vein in my body turn red as I channel all the power in the Continent, and I would still love you. What I did doesn’t change that. I’m not sure anything can.

Such a good start for me and my fucking heart. Thanks, Rebecca... I really appreciate it.

4)

If I’m to be court-martialed for helping Braxtyn defend his people, then I shall welcome the trial. All who channel from dragon and gryphon alike should flourish under the wards, and now Aretia will be that haven should one of the others ever return.

Lyra... I fucking stan!

5)

So with all the love in my heart, put your fucking uniform on, because we need you.

Look, I'm not saying that Ridoc is my favourite character in this book... but... Ridoc IS my favourite character in this book.

I died with the whole squad dynamic, but the four of them will always hold a special place in my heart, I fucking love these kids.

6)

Even hundreds of miles away, he’s still taking care of me and doesn’t even know it.

I KNEW this godsdamned book would be full of angst....BUT DID IT HAVE TO BE ALL OF IT??? DID IT REBECCA????

7)

You might be angry when you realize I didn’t wake you to say goodbye. But it’s only because I no longer fully trust my ability to walk away.

—Recovered Correspondence of His Grace, Lieutenant Xaden Riorson, Sixteenth Duke of Tyrrendor, to Cadet Violet Sorrengail

FUCK ME MAN....Come on...WHYYYYYYY????

8)

But the thought of you being out there, beyond the wards, facing down a known attack of venin, triggered something in me I’ve never felt before. It was hotter than rage, and sharper than fear, and cut deeper than helplessness, all because I couldn’t get to you.

Fuck you.

9)

I would have killed anything and anyone in that moment to reach you. No exceptions. I would have channeled every ounce of power beneath my feet without hesitation if it would have landed me at your side.

Double fuck you.

10)

If I’d been there, beyond the wards, I would have drained the very earth to its core to keep you safe.

TRIPLE FUCKING FUCK YOU!!!!

11)

Pain isn’t new to me, Jack. She’s an old friend I spend most of my days with, so I don’t mind if she sings to you.

Violet Sorrengail... you are the most badass bitch to ever badass. (I feel like that's SUCH a Remi thing to say. Fucking finally.... iykyk. Shout out to @skyfallscotland for writing fucking masterpieces. Getting notifications from you always makes my day. If any of you are into fanfcition, i STRONGLY recommend reading everything this girl has written. You can start with Fear and Flame. Thank me, and HER, later.)

12)

“We live by the Codex—” I try again.

“I live by you. When have I ever given a fuck about the Codex or the Code of Conduct?” He cradles my face and leans down, resting his forehead against mine. “I am yours and you are mine, and there’s no law or rule in this world or the next that will change that.”

I love them so much it hurts.

13)

Love of my life. You have nothing to be jealous of.

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

14)

“There’s no magic here.” He tugs me against him. “No power. No lure. No taunting reminder that I can save everyone if I just reach for it and take what’s offered. It’s only…peace.”

For the first time since fetching the luminary, I seriously debate Tecarus’s offer.

When I tell you this book was PAINFUL for me....I'M NOT FUCKING KIDDING.

15)

"...Sgaeyl…" He glances up at the trees as if he can see her in the sky above us, a look of longing on his face.

If I had a dollar for everytime this book broke my fucking heart.

16)

“My consort,” Xaden replies casually. “Violet Sorrengail.”

I'm deceased.

17)

I can’t quit watching Xaden’s eyes in case their flecks change back to gold whenever I see him during Signet Sparring.

They never do.

Like my heart will never again NOT be broken for these two.

18)

“The pain. The mess. Give it to me. I’ll hold it. I know that sounds ludicrous, but I’ll find a way.” I lace our fingers. “I will hold everything you don’t want to feel because I love every part of you.”

This ship... this fucking ship...

19)

“Seems Catriona has found someone worth lagging behind for.”

I loathed her in the previous book....but gods did the poor girl go through it in this one....

20)

“There is no cure for me.” He presses a kiss to my forehead. “That’s why you have to become better than me. There’s only you.”

I seriously don't know why I'm putting myself through this torture.

21)

When things get…shitty, I hope you can look down at it and imagine us sitting there together when this is all over. That’s the vision I’m going to cling to: you and me, holding hands, looking over the city.

This right here broke whatever soul I thought I had left. It just hurts so much when the characters cling to a future that I fucking know isn't going to happen.

22)

It’s almost like this room is removed from time itself, a tiny corner of the world where we simultaneously live together yet don’t.

Rebecca literally...WHYYYYY????

23)

I didn’t reach for any form of power because even in that state, I knew it could take me back to day zero, and day zero doesn’t give me you. I clawed my way back to myself and left.

Screaming, crying, throwing up.

24)

While most deities allow temple attendants to choose their timeline of service, only two require a lifetime of dedication: Dunne and Loial. For both war and love change souls irrevocably.

For the love of Gods, please let this be some kind of clue.

25)

I love you more than this city. Do not die defending it.

Screaming. Crying. Throwing up.

26)

At some point I’ll stop looking for her, right?

I KNOW Andarna had her reasons... but my girl Violet did not deserve that after everything she's been through.

27)

His smile instantly becomes a core memory.

MY smile instantly becomes a core memory....as in I don't think I'll have one again.

28)

You’re not a weapon of destruction. You’re not venin. You’re the artery power chooses to flow through. You’re life.

I fucking ship this SO MUCH. I love me some enemies to lovers, slow burn, full of angst shit.

29)

When push comes to shove, I'm not the best of us. She is.

YES VIOLET, THAT'S YOUR BESTIE!!!!!!

30)

“That’s a little menacing,” I admit to Feirge. “Then let us be menaces,”

I ADORE multiple povs. I've been waiting for Rhi's and Imogen's pov for 3 books, and I was NOT disappointed. Wish I could have more of them though.

31)

She’ll rip the very sky apart before she and Glane accept defeat.

GO IMOGEN! GO! GO! GO!

32)

The flame of perpetual rage that lives in my chest burns hotter. Fuck that horde. Fuck the venin who ride them. Fuck that unholy vortex of a tornado at the end of the northern field, and fuck the orders to stay grounded in these winds.

FUCK! I love this girl so damn much.

33)

I’m glad it’s you with me. Parapet to Malek’s own doorstep. I’m so sorry I have to go first this time.

To be honest, I didn't really care about Quinn for three books now... but I SOBBED in these 3 pages.

34)

And you should tell him, Gen. Tell him, and you find some happy.

And the fact that she preached for my second favourite ship of the series with her dying breath??? Miss Quinn, you have my heart. I didn't care for your existence for three books, but man, did you get me in the end.

35)

“We made it a good one.”

This one cut me so fuckign deep I had to stop for a good ten minutes. I did not see it coming. I did not think I'd care. I still don't understand why I did. But I really, really did.

36)

“I’m not leaving you!” He leans in and slides his hand behind my neck. “I’m not leaving you, Imogen,” he repeats, softer this time.

If these two don't end up together, I'm gonna make it everybody's problem. I PROMISE!

37)

“You have been the gift of my life,” I tell Tairn.

I've read some theories that Tairn will die in the end... First of all...HOW DARE YOU? And second of all... REBECCA DON'T YOU DARE, I WILL-

38)

She was the first to choose me, to elevate me above all others, the first to see every ugly side of me and accept it all, and every single person in this fucking canyon will die before they remove a single one of her scales.

The fact that Xaden channeled for Violet but really turned to save Sgaeyl... I did not expect that. And although it was painful as fuck to read through... to me it was perfect and a job really well done.

39)

Shadow brings quiet. My soul departs like pieces of ash from a fire, flaking free and drifting away as power consumes the space it once inhabited. I’m no longer on the ice—I am the ice.

Xaden...baby...no....

40)

Save them, the last remaining pieces of me beg, holding on with teeth and claw to keep from being torn away, too.

I will never... ever... recover from this.

41)

“I love you.” Violet’s voice cracks the cold, and a silken thread of warmth wedges itself in the opening before it seals shut, locking it in place.

No. Wait. I grab for that thread with desperate hands, clawing to keep her as more of my pieces are blown away, lost to the void. She is warmth and light and air and love.

This was so fucking painful to read I literally have no fucking words.

44)

I love her. That is the emotion I cling to, the fire of pure power burning at the feeling’s edges, and I know if I take it any further, it will be the next and final piece to float away.

😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔💔

45)

“What did you do?” My head snaps toward Imogen, and a deep sense of foreboding takes root in my chest. She slowly lifts her gaze to mine.

“What you asked me to.”

How THE FUCK am I supposed to wait who-knows how long for the next damned book???

All in all, I really enjoyed this. I never got bored and I didn't mind the side missions at all.

The xaden×violet of it all shattered my heart. I definitely loved their relationship more than the previous books (It really reminded me of their dynamic from one of the best pieces of literature I've ever had the pleasure to read, a fanfiction piece called Storm in the quiet by @justallihere. She is truly the best.).

I just knew this was coming, and all of their trying would lead to this... it tore my heart apart. I love heavy angst in my books, but it hurts like a motherfucker when you have to wait for the next book in a series. I've promised myself I would never start an unfinished series ever again but oh well....

I loved the side characters so much, and I feel like I got to see them more and get to know them better in this one.

Ridoc is the best comic relief character I've read in a long, long time, and I love him so much (I almost had a heart attack when I thought the cook actually stabbed him.)

Aaric is a little shit and I'm so here for it. His exceptionally well written character was one of the highlights of the book for me.

Imogen and Garrick are my babies and I want them to end up together SO FUCKING BAD.

Also, the Drake and Mira crumbs? Chef's kiss.

I have to admit I was very fed shipping wise.

Unexpectedly, I also laughed my ass off in this book... so I'll probably make another post with all the times I died of laughter. Who would have thought?

My soul will definitely need mending and a good dose of fanfiction to get me through the long wait. To the people who are gifted enough to write these fanfcitions, you are my heroes. Cheers!

Final thought, Xaden Riorson, THE MAN that you are.

Accurate image of me after finishing Onyx Storm:

[houseof1000gods]

southern gothic, as a literary genre, portrays the darker sides of the south such as poverty, racism, religious tension, and alienation. how would you describe australian gothic in your own words? is there any media with that vibe? (sorry if this is a weird ask I’m just curious)

i only woke up like 30 mins ago so this wont be very insightful or anything but i consider aus gothic to be mainly the fear of the unknown in relation to the bush, like the thick bush u could easily get lost in or the outback where its just nothing for miles but dirt.

i grew up in a small town where everyone knew each other, there was one shop, one pub and one primary school, and my town was rivals with the neighbouring town because "they got more" than us (shops, customers, etc). as well as that, my primary schools and other schools in the neighbouring towns were a part of some interconnected community where we'd do events with each other like walkathons, school sports, etc, but one of the other town's school decided not to join and every year they have like 5 students (genuinely, even still to this day) so they now have resentment towards the other towns. so i also see a sense of community and rivalry when i think of aus gothic.

as well as that, i live where the gold rush took place so gold detecting, random mines in the bush that you have to avoid cause u could fall right through, remnants of settlements that were abandoned after the people there went home because they couldn't make a fortune looking for gold like they thought they could also comes into play.

mainly for me though, its all about the bush. i grew up on a road where one side was about 5 houses and the other side of the road was all bush. when i was growing up i honestly didn't give a fuck about the bush cause to me it was just where i lived, but in recent years i've really come to appreciate the beauty of it, especially since my nana still lives there on the same street i grew up on so i can still spend some time there.

as for aus gothic media/literature, i'm a massive fan of horror so i'd 100% have to say wolf creek. i loooove wolf creek. my other (obvious) choice is picnic at hanging rock, that story really plays into the fear of the unknown. i studied that in year 12 so i know too much about it lol. AND OF COURSE LAKE MUNGO. i almost forgot about lake mungo, i absolutely fucking love lake mungo.

if anyone has any other recs for good aus gothic media send them thru, i do read a bit but unfortunately nothing to do with aus gothic lol

edit: dogs are also a part of aus gothic for me! sounds completely unrelated but most people i know who live out bush have dogs, i grew up with multiple dogs, from kelpies to bulldogs to staffies so i've always loved dogs and associated them with my time spent growing up out bush.

[911onem]

When he was finished with cleaning himself up, he left the bathroom in just a pair of sweatpants, heading toward the mattress when an arm wrapped around his bicep and redirected him toward the stairs.

“Food, Eddie said you guys haven’t eaten since last night and In and Out isn’t a meal.”

“Yes it is,” he whined, the arm around him twisting into the top of his sweatpants as he stumbled on the second step.

“I made you some pasta, just get a little bit in you and then we come back upstairs and cuddle. Okay?”

With a pout he agreed, silent until his feet hit the bottom floor and he made his way to the island already set up with dishes. He took a moment to smile, turning toward his boyfriend and pulling him into a kiss.

“What was that for?” Tommy mumbled as they pulled away, arm still wrapped around Buck’s waist.

“For this. I appreciate it, thank you.”

“Of course, baby, I love to take care of you.”

The words had his smile faltering for just a second, almost a flicker that he knew Tommy probably didn’t notice as he reached to pull out the stool in front of them. His palm gently guided Buck toward the seat, shuffling him forward before walking across the kitchen and sitting directly across from him. He watched as Tommy grabbed his fork, tucking into his meal and it had his head tilting as he realized that his boyfriend had waited for him, not taking a single bite until Buck was eating too. His stomach twisted in want, his whole body shook in appreciation and he hated it because he knew that this couldn’t last forever. This feeling, this love that he had storming inside of his chest was something he had never felt before, and he worried he would never feel again once they broke up. Because, no one could last forever with Evan Buckley.

He knew over the years that he should never get too comfortable with people, they always left even if it was on good terms. All of his relationships felt so strong right before something fell apart so quickly that he got whiplash watching them walk out the door, and with Tommy he wasn’t sure that he could do that again.

“You’re awfully quiet over there, you alright?”

With a nod he reached for his fork, keeping his gaze down as a sad smile stretched painfully across his face.

“Yeah, sorry- I just..” He stabbed weakly at a noodle, shoulders rising as he shrugged and let himself take a deep breath.

His lungs felt so heavy in dread and he wasn’t sure if it was the exhaustion, but the weight was sparking into sobs clawing their way out and into his throat.

“Baby, what's wrong?” Tommy’s fork lowered as he grabbed a napkin, wiping his face before giving his full attention to Buck.

“I just really love you,” he mumbled, swallowing heavily before stuffing his mouth with a bite and chewing slowly. “And I don’t think I’ve felt this way about anyone before. And I don’t think I could ever feel it for someone again.”

He didn’t lift his eyes, even as Tommy lowered his hand until the fork pressed against the counter top with a soft clang.

“What?”

Biting his lip he forced a laugh, shaking his head as he let his hand shift to grab another bite.

“I mean, it’s fine. Everyone leaves, I’m just really falling hard for you and I kind of wish it could last forever. You know?”

It wasn’t until a hand covered his that he let the fork fall from his hand, smothering itself in sauce against his plate as a warmth flooded up his neck and across his cheeks. He wanted to force himself to relax, to laugh it off like he tried to do a moment ago, but the thought of not being here with Tommy was too much and he felt a tear slide down the side of his face as the grip above his tightened.

“Sweetheart..”

Read the whole fic 👇🏽

[fangdokja]

Heeeyyyyy it's me again lolll, sooooo have you checked out love and deep space (otome game with fighting monsters)? If not then you should, there are many hot characters there, i was rereading you paternal privileges and thought that "oh this is so zayne(one of the characters from love and deep space)" cuz if he's going to have a twisted side this really matches him well

Yeahhh, heyyyy. Prepare for unstructured Fang Dokja rambling.

Glad to see that you're also enjoying and reading the other stories. Paternal Privilege vibed more in Ao3 than in Tumblr, but I personally liked it as well. One of my first sex stories in general. Got lots of practice in it. And, in Ao3, people loved the ending haha. Thanks for sharing your input on it. It's appreciated :))

OK. I knew I'd get this question one day. And, I know some of you are Love and Deepspace (LaDs) fans (and also K-pop fans, especially you guys, I don't know why you're following me ahahhaha, but it's welcomed. Sorry, don't know much about K-pop like I hardly know DC).

OK SO! Of course I know this game! I played the game it was inspired by, Mr. Love Queen's Choice for more than 3 years! DADDYYYY VICTORRRR. I still have my account, whahhaha. Yes. This is bringing back memories.

And in Love and Deepspace's early release, like official first day, I was there! So, yes, I've played it.

Playstyle and graphics were cool. And, as a competitive gamer in general, ofc it was right up my alley. A bit clunky at first release, needed some adjustments, but generally good. It was way better in terms of graphics than Mr. Love, especially the interface and menus.

Though, I'd say what turned me off is I related more to the MC of Mr. Love than LaDs. Didn't really vibe with the MC of LaDs, a bit too emotional and outspoken for my tastes. Felt ENFJ (sorry, can't relate AT ALL to ENFJ's and ESFJ's especially) not gonna lie hahhahha. But, it's been so long since I played, so sorry if I get details wrong. Anyways...

I was just not vibing with the MC, and low-key plot as well. But, then again, maybe I expected too much. It usually happens when I do. I get so excited than it falls short of my expectations, and then I'm like ehh. So I just low key turn off my brain. It's also to prevent myself from spoiling myself. You have no idea how many times I've unwittingly spoiled myself in ANY fandom! It's genuinely unreal. So, it's like I have to stop thinking so I don't ruin those "huzzah" or "woahhh" moments for myself as a reader or audience.

Ok, back to the topic.

Why am I not making yandere content on it? Simple.

Because of this RULE:

Some characters remind of me of real life people too much, like for example, most “soft” and “green flag characters”. Reminds me of my friend’s boyfriend. And that person is gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss. It’s fricking weird. But in general, most reasons I don’t write certain characters is because it reminds me too much of people I know in real life.

My friend and I don't share stories. AT ALL. That includes any fandom, manga, anime, manhwa, video games, etc. There are some exceptions, but usually we have separate fandoms.

So, when I introduced this game to share with my friend. Majority of the characters, from the graphics to their behavior, fit my friend's boyfriend more. Reminded her of him more.

Didn't really find anyone that reminded me of my husband (only 4 main guys before). I do play games, or do anything really to spend time with him. And even in things like this, I do this so I can analyze my husband, think about him and brainstorm, etc. Just basically husband simping for me.

So, in conclusion, probably not gonna talk a lot about Love and Deepspace. And besides, I don't think the MC is like me anyway, so it's fine. I just have to not look at ANY fanart, 'cause man IT IS EVERYWHERE. I have to LITERALLY avoid it like the plague so I don't tempt myself.

Uh... I have a gaming addiction. HAHHAHAHA

Sorry, but strict rules being obeyed here as well in the friendship. We DO NOT SHARE STORIES. End of story. Hope you guys understand, though.

Yes, we're weird.

WARNING: The information below is just extra husband simping. Proceed with caution.

God, I am waiting for official international release of this game ESPECIALLY (when it comes to otome games):

My LORD, I will waiitttttt. If it's possible to release, Your will be done!! haha

As you can tell, I'm weak to muscles ahahahahahahhahahaha. Why? I love my husband so much, he's so handsome. I am weak.

OSBORN I JUST KNOW IT'S OSBORN aghhhh. especially him. But seriously. huuu well, my husband doesn't like talking about himself with anyone else besides me, so just have to use "analogies" like characters lollll.

Though, none can compare to my husband, of course. He's leagues above anyone else huuuuuuu. I love him so much.

I also told you guys. I relate to these memes. VERY. VERY. VERY MUCH.

You have no idea.

WAHAHHAHAH.

*exposes self*

But, I just love my husband so much. So, so, so much.

Yandere! Stepfather & Stepdaughter

Novella 1 : Paternal Privilege

He’s your family, but he doesn’t act like it.

🔞Pleasure in every strike, pain in every kiss.

🔞In the end, love is both their salvation and their damnation.

🔞His love is suffocating, but she’s forgotten how to breathe without it.

🔞Love shouldn’t feel like drowning, but he’s the only one who can save her.

She fell, but not by accident. He made sure of it.

[fuckyeahmhawkefenris]

Don't want to butt in that post that praises the Veilguard's character involvement, it's great they can point out its good qualities, considering the apparent general mood.

It's an entirely different matter anyway! They were simply appreciating the VG's writing!

Idk, i just want to get it off my chest...

I remember a few years back I read someone's comment about how that person did not like Fenris's romance because Fenris himself felt irrelevant to the main plot, and that to me felt... almost insulting?

If anything, irrelevance to the BIG PLAN makes me appreciate a character even more, because it makes our relationship have actual meaning?

Like, I choose to invite them to join me even though it's not mandatory. And then I choose to get to know them and to work to improve our relationship, and if I do it right THEY choose to stick with me through all the crap the universe in question throws at me - the PC. Not because they must play the roles assigned by the big PLOT.

Zevran? My Warden could have killed him on the spot when he first tried to kill me appeared, we did not need him to move the plot forward, but I chose to bond with him and ended up giving him my heart and body and soul, and it didn't affect anything or concern anyone else in that world, and it's just so fullfilling and precious? Personal?

Same with Sten and Oghren and Leliana and Wynne and Shale - everyone else except for Alistair and Morrigan. I love them, but... it's just different.

And I love it so much? Nobody forced us to work together and get along, but we did and it was entirely by choice.

The fact that you can never even recruit and completely miss Fenris and Isabela freaking blows my mind and makes me treasure them like... idk, i love my entire gang, but those two are just super precious to me.

There, I said it, now I can move on)

[kikyoupdates]

Crushed Velvet ⭑˚🥀⭑ 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑤𝑏𝑒𝑟𝑟𝑦 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑟𝑡𝑐𝑎𝑘𝑒

yandere!ocs x f!reader

yandere, reverse harem, yandere reverse harem, original characters x fem!reader, slowburn, isekai

Your parents are thrilled to have secured an engagement for you with the royal family. Your suitor, the crown prince, has agreed to be wed to you. It seems as though your entire future has been assured, so why is it that from this moment onward, your life starts to fall apart at the seams?

previous | story masterlist | next

[Name],

My parents have instructed me to invite you to the palace so that we can spend some time together. Please find the time to come meet me tomorrow. Failing to do so would not place you on good terms with my family.

Xeno.

You gaped down at the letter, absolutely dumfounded. It was easily the most dry, unpleasant personal message you had ever received. And what, was this supposed to be a threat? He was a prince, for crying out loud, and yet his manners were practically nonexistent.

“Look at this,” you scoffed, waving the letter in front of Ella’s face. “Do you see what I mean? This is how he speaks to me. If he’s going to act like this, of course I’m not particularly thrilled about our engagement.”

Ella’s eyes kept darting to and from the page. “Um… forgive me, my lady, but I’m not so sure I should be reading any sort of correspondence you have with the Crown Prince…”

“I’m letting you see it, so it’s fine. Don’t you agree that it’s ridiculous?”

“I-It’s really not in my place to comment,” she stammered.   

“Oh, come on. You can’t lie. He’s an asshole.”

“Miss…”

“Asshole,” you muttered, crumpling up the letter between your fingers. “He has no tact whatsoever. He doesn’t even try to pretend like he wants to see me. It’s just his parents forcing him to. And he’s clearly giving me no choice in the matter, otherwise the King and Queen will be upset with me. Such a prick.”

Poor Ella was at a loss for words. You loved your sweet little maid. She was one of your closest, most valued companions. You knew you shouldn’t be burdening her with all this, but every time you told yourself it wasn’t that bad and decided to give Xeno the benefit of the doubt, he went ahead and pulled something like this.

You stared down at the crumpled letter for a few moments, then eventually smoothed out the wrinkles with your hands. “Actually, I’m going to show this to my parents and see what they think of it. They’re so fond of kissing up to the royal family and acting as if they’re all saints. I wonder if this might change the impression they have.”

It didn’t, of course.

“He simply gets straight to the point,” your mother defended. “Prince Xeno must be very busy with all his duties. It’s understandable that he wouldn’t have much time to invest in writing his letters.”

“If anyone ever wrote to either of you this way, you would be furious.”

“We are in no place to be judging him,” your father eagerly piled on. “Remember, we are forever at the service of the King and Queen. Xeno may be a little curt, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t a good person. You just don’t know him very well yet, that’s all.”

No matter what you said, no matter how Xeno acted around you or whatever evidence you provided, their opinion would never be swayed. All you could do was shake your head and sigh in defeat, the same way you always did. You were already dreading tomorrow.

Your mother patted your shoulder. “Don’t look so dejected. Why don’t you go into town for a bit before you meet with him tomorrow and pick out a nice gift? I’m sure he’ll be pleasantly surprised, and this is a good opportunity to commemorate your engagement as well.”

“But I don’t even know what he likes,” you protested. “I don’t even know if there are things he likes.”

“It’s the thought that counts. He’ll appreciate it no matter what.”

Right. Somehow, you highly doubted that. He’d probably scrunch up his nose and think that you were trying too hard to kiss up to him. Well, whatever. Maybe you could at least pick out some treats for yourself while you were in town.

With the exception of that horrible week you’d spent running all over the place to prepare your dress for the engagement party, it had been quite a while since you’d gone into town. It had just been day after day of dealing with visiting nobles and that recent debacle concerning your new tutor. Though you couldn’t exactly call this a break, per se, it would be nice to just walk around for a bit and take some time for yourself.

The following day, as per Xeno’s classless letter, you went into town by carriage along with a few servants. They pretty much insisted on following you everywhere, but they didn’t pester you or anything, so you were free to keep to your own devices.

At first you just walked around, enjoying the beautiful weather and the fresh air. After a while, it became abundantly clear that you had no particular goal in mind. You really had no clue what Xeno would appreciate as a gift. Food was probably the most logical decision. It was better than some random, permanent trinket that he probably wouldn’t even end up using. Also, if you were being honest, you were getting kind of hungry anyways.

You turned towards one of your servants. “It’s been a while since I’ve been in town. Have any new shops opened up recently? I was thinking of picking out something nice to eat for when I visit the Prince.”

“I haven’t heard of anything in particular, my lady. Would you like us to ask around?”

“Hm, I guess that wouldn’t hurt. We’ve still got quite a bit of time, so how about we split up? You can all go around and report back to me if you hear about anything good.”

He gave you a worried look. “Oh, but… your father told us to stay right by your side and make sure nothing happened to you.”

“Fine,” you sighed. “Then two of you can go ask around, and one of you can stay with me while I browse shops and restaurants on my own. How does that sound?”

They nodded, hastily deciding who would stay and who would go. You would have honestly preferred to just make a day out of this, perusing through town and enjoying the sunshine. Still, now that you were already here, you may as well get what you’d come for.

Something Xeno would enjoy…

You didn’t have the faintest idea. His icy demeanor did a pretty good job of shutting you out and keeping you fully in the dark. He was so dry and rough around the edges. Also bitter. He was definitely bitter. Put all those things together and you got…

“What’s dry, has a rough texture, and also tastes bitter?” you asked the servant.

“I-I beg your pardon? That doesn’t sound like it would be all that palatable…”

He was probably right about that. The closest thing that fit your impression of Xeno was burnt vegetables, and you got the sense that he would probably kick you out of the palace if you brought something like that as a gift.

Just like that, you were back to square one, but you didn’t mind the challenge. It actually gave you the opportunity to find all kinds of new, tasty food—mostly for yourself. If your parents had given you a larger sum to spend, you might have bought a dish from just about every restaurant you stepped into.

“I’m still having trouble deciding,” you sighed. “No matter where I look, I can’t shake the feeling that he’s just going to hate whatever I bring…”

“That’s not true, my lady. He will love it, I’m sure.”

Everyone seemed so eager to say that. Obviously, they were just trying to be encouraging, but they also clearly didn’t know what Xeno was like. Perhaps you were being a bit too ambitious, trying to stumble upon some extravagant dish that you were hoping he’d never eaten before. Yeah. That was probably unrealistic. It might just be better to stick to something simple instead.

You looked towards the other end of the street, where clusters of people were coming out of a store carrying small boxes in their arms. It was a store you didn’t recognize, but based on all the customers that seemed to be going in and out the doors, it seemed like the business was thriving.

“Just a moment,” you said. “I’m going to go take a look.”

“Ah, Lady [Name]! Where should I wait—?”

The sound of his voice soon became lost in the crowd. You cut through the large group of people and stepped through the doors, curious to find out what had everyone so excited. The second you walked inside, you were greeted with a sweet aroma, the scent of baked bread, fresh fruit, and lots and lots of sugar.

It was a pastry store. The interior was decorated with soft, pastel colors that complimented the countless delicious treats on display. You could feel your mouth watering already. Everything looked so good. You could easily spend a whole day here sampling out all kinds of desserts, but you got the feeling that Xeno wouldn’t much care for any of this. It was probably a waste of time.

You were about to turn around and leave, but the woman behind the counter called out to you in a cheery voice.

“Welcome,” she smiled. “Can I help you find anything in particular?”

“Oh, um… I’m not sure. I don’t think I’m—”

“Ah!” she suddenly exclaimed. “You are… pardon me, but aren’t you Lady [Name]? I thought I recognized you from somewhere. Our shop once catered the desserts for a tea party hosted at your manor.”

You smiled and nodded, feeling a bit guilty that you didn’t recognize her at all. “Yes, I am. I’m sorry. I must not have recognized the name of the store. My mother organizes most of those events, so I didn't realize who you were. But it seems as if she made a good decision to hire you back then, just based on how popular your store is.”

“There’s no need to apologize. I only saw you the one time, in passing. And yes, we were a relatively small business back then, but we’ve since made a bit of a name for ourselves, I suppose. Oh, and I heard the news! You’re engaged to Prince Xeno now, are you not?”

“Y-Yes.”

“That’s amazing!” she beamed, clasping her hands together. “You have my congratulations. I hope the two of you are very happy together.”

“Thank you. I appreciate it.”

“Oh, I know. To celebrate the occasion, how about I let you have some desserts on the house?”

“I couldn’t possibly,” you shook your head. “I very much appreciate the offer, but I wouldn’t want to put you out. I probably need to be on my way regardless. I’ve been looking for something to eat to bring the Prince, but I still have no clue what he’d enjoy. I should keep on searching.”

Her smile just got even wider. “Well, that’s perfect. It just so happens that Prince Xeno loves our strawberry shortcakes. Why don’t I send you off with a box of them?”

“He loves… strawberry shortcake?”

You couldn’t help but wonder if she was messing with you. Someone as cold and stuck-up as Xeno, liking something as fluffy as strawberry shortcake? While it was possible that he had a sweet tooth, the image was just so jarring that you couldn’t quite wrap your head around it.

“I’m sure it must seem out of character for him,” she chuckled. “But I can promise you that he really does enjoy them. He likely has all sort of talented chefs around the palace to whip up his favorite desserts for him, but every now and then we still get a bulk order to deliver to him. Especially for any large gatherings they hold; we always get rather busy around those times.”

“Well, you probably know better than I do,” you acknowledged. “I’ll take a few shortcakes, in that case.”

“Excellent! Like I said, they’re on the house.”

“No, no, I’ll pay.”

“Please, I insist.”

You tried to protest further, but she was already loading several pastries into a box for you. She carefully folded the edges in and patted everything in place, then handed it to you with a bright smile.

“Here you are. I promise you he’ll enjoy them.”

“Thank you very much,” you smiled appreciatively. “I was really at a loss as to what to bring over.”

“It’s my pleasure. With time, I’m sure you’ll discover all his preferences.” She then cleared her throat, suddenly looking a tad nervous. “Speaking of… have you been finding it difficult being around the Prince? You know, because of his condition…?”

“Condition?”

She must’ve realized she’d said too much, because she’d all but clamped her palms over her mouth. “I-I apologize!” she stammered out. “I’m not even sure what I was trying to say… please, ignore my rambling. I hope you enjoy your time together!”

You flashed her a skeptical look, but she probably wouldn’t have explained, even if you stayed around to pester her. You’d already spent quite a bit of time in town. If you didn’t hurry up and leave soon, you would end up being late, and you got the feeling Xeno would never let you live that down.

“Very well. Thank you again for the pastries. Have a nice day.”

Equipped with your box of strawberry shortcakes, you stepped outside, feeling a lot more confident than earlier. You had to push your way through the crowds again—it was exceptionally busy this time of day—and you traced your steps back to regroup with your servant.

Only to realize that he was nowhere to be found.

I thought he was going to wait? Perhaps I ran off too quickly.

You sighed. This complicated things somewhat. It wasn’t anything too major; you could just head back to where you’d left the carriage and you were sure they’d naturally make their way over as well. Walking with the large box in your arms was slightly awkward, and you really wished that one of the servants was here to help you. The midday sun was beating down much more vigorously than before, burning your cheeks and making you squint through the rays.

Momentarily blinded by the brightness, you accidentally walked straight into someone, nearly dropping the box to the ground.

“Shit!” you cursed out. “That was close…”

“Watch where you’re going, goddammit!”

The young man you’d just bumped into was glaring you down. He had pretty mint-green eyes framed by long lashes, and turquoise colored hair that cascaded down the sides of his face. He was also wearing a familiar white uniform—the official garb of Aeolia’s knights.

You pressed your lips together. “That’s rather rude. I apologize, but the sun had gotten in my eyes and I couldn’t quite see for a moment. There’s no need to yell at me. And why should I be the only one to watch where I’m going? You didn’t notice me either. My pastries might have gotten crushed.”

“Right, your pastries,” the man reiterated sarcastically. “That would have been a tragedy.”

“Well, seeing as these pastries are a gift for my fiancé, Prince Xeno, your statement is really not that much of an exaggeration.”

That sure got a reaction out of him. You were usually loath to play the “prince’s betrothed” card, but it did a pretty good job of shutting people up.

“Oh,” he said simply, his eyes slowly widening. “Oh. You are… the prince’s—”

“Future wife, yes.”

All of a sudden, he looked like a guilty puppy. “I-I’m terribly sorry. I didn’t realize who you were. Lady [Name], correct? Please forgive my rudeness. I’ve been known to get irritated a little too quickly…”

“It’s funny how your tone changed the second you knew who I was,” you snorted.

“I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you,” he mumbled shamefully. “I was already in a bad mood to start, but that’s no excuse. I shouldn’t have yelled at anyone like that, let alone you. Will you accept my apology?”

“Don’t you think it’s a bit strange to ask for my forgiveness when you haven’t even introduced yourself?”

His cheeks darkened from embarrassment. “Ah… yes. My name is Keith. Keith Lybell. I apologize again for my rude reaction, Lady [Name].”

“It’s fine,” you chuckled. “I wasn’t really all that upset anyways. But I appreciate you owning up to your mistake.”

“Thank you for your understanding. Um, that box looks quite heavy,” he remarked. “Is there no one to help you carry it?”

“I got separated from my servants earlier. I’m heading to my carriage now, so that I can get to the palace in time for my meeting with the Prince.”

“I could carry it for you,” he offered. “And escort you to your carriage so you aren’t walking all alone.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. It’s the least I could do. I am still a protector of the people, after all. This much is nothing.”

You, for one, couldn’t wait to let go of that bulky box, and you handed it over to Keith gratefully. Perhaps he really was only kissing up to you, but you appreciated the help. And maybe you’d just caught him in a bad mood. Knights were, for the most part, hardworking selfless people. They put their lives on the line for the greater good.  

Keith kept glancing over at you, a little unsure what to say. “If you don’t mind me asking… what is in this box?”

“Strawberry shortcake.”

“Eh?”

“Yes. Apparently the Prince is fond of it.”

“Huh.” He scrunched up his nose. “I can’t really picture that.”

“That’s exactly what I said,” you mused. “I personally assumed he hated anything and everything, just based on how he acted.”

“Is it okay for you to be saying those things?”

You flashed him a teasing look. “Why? Are you going to tell on me?”

“N-No,” he blushed. “Of course not.”

“Then we’re fine. Besides, if he ends up not liking these, that just means there’s more for me. Oh,” you blinked. “My carriage is right over there. You can hand me the box back now.”

Keith placed the box back in your hands, just in time for a familiar squeal to pierce through the air.

“My lady!” one of your servants panted as he ran over, looking absolutely traumatized. “I-I’m so sorry! You just ran off so quickly, I lost sight of you in the crowd. I tried following after you, but I wasn’t sure which store you’d gone into, and—and—”

“Relax,” you chuckled, patting his head. “I’m fine. This nice knight helped walk me over. Nothing happened.”

Keith quirked a brow. “I’m nice?”

“You aren’t?”

“Uh… maybe. No one’s ever called me that before.”

“Well, there’s a first time for everything.” With the help of your servant, you stepped up into the carriage, placing the box of shortcakes on your lap. “Thank you, Keith,” you smiled. “And I’m sorry again for bumping into you. I hope I didn’t take up too much of your time.”

Keith looked like he wanted to say something, but the carriage door closed, and he clamped his lips shut, offering a timid wave instead.

[perotovar]

get to know your moots

tagged by angels @guiltyasdave @kedsandtubesocks and @morallyinept ty bbs <3

-

what's the origin of your blog title?: my title is only visible on my desktop theme, but it's "white roses, black doves" which is a lyric from "take me back to eden" by sleep token

OTP(s) + shipname: halsin/astarion, frankie/santiago, thorin/bilbo, shane/tim, river/frankie, joel/tess, i have a lot lmao

favorite color: dark green

favorite game: baldur's gate 3 (no one is surprised)

song stuck in your head: "take me back to eden" because i started singing it when i read my blog title lmao

weirdest habit/trait?: biting my nails. i've tried stopping for years. fuck anxiety.

hobbies: playing video games, making gifs, making bracelets

if you work, what's your profession?: not currently! i'm a student.

if you could have any job you wish what would it be?: something in the film industry. cinematography, film editing, music, anything

something you're good at: i think i'm pretty good at being creative. not in any particular way, someone else would have to tell me lol

something you're bad at: at the moment, writing LMAO i can't get the words out, maaannn

something you love: i love a lot of things lol i'm having some arnold palmer tea/lemonade rn so i'll say that

something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: metal bands and pedro lol

something you hate: a lot lmao but right now, it's homework

something you collect: so much................. it's a problem. little figurines/funko pops, d&d dice, plushies, stationery, etc

something you forget: SO MUCH. it's the depression/anxiety i think

what's your love language?: acts of service/words of affirmation

favorite movie/show: narcos and lotr

favorite food: ramen

favorite animal: bison and bears!

what were you like as a child?: i was a relatively good kid, but i was a little shit too lol

favorite subject at school?: english, american sign language, and orchestra

least favorite subject?: math/science, but i appreciate these a LOT more in college

what's your best character trait?: i think i'm a good friend? again, someone else would have to tell me lol

what's your worst character trait?: i hold myself back a lot out of fear

if you could change any detail of your day right now what would it be?: today? i'm skipping class to do homework, so i guess i'd change that i'd have to do homework LOL

if you could travel in time who would you like to meet?: jrr tolkien

recommend one of your favorite fanfics (spread the love!): literally any of the frith fics people wrote 🥹 they're all SO amazing

-

np tags: @sp00kymulderr @for-a-longlongtime @quinnnfabrgay-writes @ozarkthedog @chronically-ghosted

@moonlitbirdie @userparamore @iero @morallyinept @sin-djarin

@covetyou @arthurhowlett @reedrchards @lotusbxtch @wolvieispunk

@gasolinerainbowpuddles @djarinmuse @almostfoxglove @schnarfer @missredherring

@agentmarcuspike @ghostofaboy @bonezone44 @yopossum and anyone else that wants to <3

[yourekindacute]

ooo, this sounds fun! as a Playlist Person™ and someone that spends entirely too much time using the spotify app-- i can get with this

thanks for the tag @junkyardghost !

let's see what my On Repeat playlist has in store for me...

January: We Three (My Echo, My Shadow, and Me) by The Ink Spots

sounds about right (don't mind me sobbing in the corner-- self isolation woo! ...i'm working on it...) but my romantic prospects are slim and the one(s) that do exist are... confusing to say the least.

February: Juliet by Cavetown

hm yes, the depression continues. this makes sense unfortunately. but at least i have a bangin' soundtrack.

March: Jambalaya (On The Bayou) by Hank Williams

i... don't really know how to interpret this?? it's kinda a fun little love song to the bayou and a special person.

April: Hell and You by Amigo the Devil

definitely a love song... but is it love or obsession?

May: The Exorcist by CALYPSO

standing up to oppressive forces by showing how they twist their sacred texts for their own personal gain set to a funky electronic beat... intriguing?? what does this mean??

June: It's Called: Freefall by Paris Paloma

okay, okay... this is a cover. and i love rainbow kitten surprise, but paris' cover is just so soft and i really appreciate that aspect of it. this song feels like brushing yourself off after being used by people around you... and i don't know if i like the implications of that.

July: Feel Good Inc. by Gorillaz

so *cackles* this song is like-- half gibberish and nonsense until you read deeper into it i guess?? but it's happy and chill enough and i'm cool with that.

August: Wasteland, Baby! by Hozier

what a sweet and undeniable love song! hozier is The Simp™ and in all honesty if this means i'm gonna have this energy in my life, i will welcome that with open arms.

September: I Can't Decide by Scissor Sisters

*WHEEZE* what the actual hell, that's like a full 360 from the last one but okay. onto greener pastures of murder sprees i guess??

(FOR LEGAL REASONS THAT IS A JOKE)

October: Way of the Triune God - Jubilee Version by Tyler Childers

okay so this song really makes me feel connected to my spirituality (even though i'm not particularly religious) so i don't know if that means i'm going to dive further into that or what but sounds good to me

November: From Eden by Hozier

my man hozier coming in hot again with more yearning. but should someone want to yearn for me and all my flaws the way i do-- by all means, show yourself.

December: Call Me Devil by Friends in Tokyo

i-- this song is about being the villain?? am i the villain?? do i have a reason to be the villain???

I fully expected waaaay more of my grungy/alt/metal stuff in here but also-- I've been in a weird headspace as of late so *shrugs* this is what we're working with. funny how things work out that way, huh? anyway, this was fun!

no tags specifically, if anyone wants to play, feel free!

I don't know if this will catch on, but I just got inspired to start a tag game to predict how everyone's 2025 will go with a little the help of Spotify.

Rules are simple: Shuffle through your On Repeat playlist and the first 12 songs coming up represent each month of 2025.

January: 今日もひとりごと by 海羽 Very fitting, since January usually is one of my most lonely and gloomy months. So, no surprise here.

February: Little Wolf from Epic the Musical Going feral, huh? I might also find my very own Athena?

March: Ma Meilleure Ennemie by Stromae and Pomme But we're toxic for each other... damn!

April: God Games from Epic the Musical She's going to fight tooth and nail for my sake, omg! 🥹💕

May: Poison (Official Remix) by Blake Roman Still toxic, though...

June: Merry Sinsmas by Benny Bennack III Sure... why not.

July: IYKYK by XG Having some fun together (possibly in outer space?)

August: Dangerous from Epic the Musical Oh no!

September: Chk Chk Boom (Festival Ver.) by Stray Kids OH NO! Athena?

October: Hell's Greatest Dad by Jeremy Jordan and Amir Talai What? Whose Dad? I'm confused.

November: Howling by XG Just a continuation of February, I guess. Awooooh!

December: Come Play by Stray Kids and Young Miko OH SHIT?! guessilldie.jpg

(Sorry for all the silly comments, I haven't slept all night and am in a weird mood. Ignore them if you want to.)

Tagging: @literatetrashpanda @stargazing-enby @glimmah @cloudyvulpine @aatif-alam @trensu @xfangheartx @lost-romantique @sanguine-succubus @bodienne @reylokisses @luleck and literally anyone who wants to. I want this to spread! No pressure, though... as always. 💕

[sunnemona]

☆2024 has been so difficult for me, and i want to end the year off on a high note by thanking everyone who’s been there for me through it.

☆thank you for talking to me. thank you for listening to me talk to you in return. thank you for staying on vc with me to play games or talk or draw or cry together. thank you for keeping my secrets. thank you for telling me yours. thank you for the gifts you’ve given me. thank you for the advice you’ve offered when i needed help. thank you for the silly messages you've sent me unprompted—it is so joyous to be remembered when i’m not around. thank you for making me feel safe. thank you for letting me stay by your side. thank you for staying by mine.

☆the passage of time is so scary to me, i think. once things are over you can never get them back—all you can do is move forward and hold the memories close to your heart. thank you for the memories you’ve given me, i will treasure them eternally. i am so happy that we get to keep moving forward together, from one year into the next.

☆to kia, diggs, casey, and everyone in sweaties gang; to wewa and rei; to lorel; to eliza and mitsu; to wiz and corbell; to alex, nash, geddon, and paperd; to worm and goldie; to candy and ashe; to haze, mono, benji, and chasm; to my partners (sasha, robin, and keith); to steel; to michael, and to collie;

i am so grateful i know you. i am so grateful we exist here, at the same time, together. thank you for everything. i love you, i love you, i love you.

@dreemurr-skelememer @digglesgiggles @megaloserrr @lollipopz-shop @popiplant @aoartmthebitxh @s3-izures @otterbup @kuvlarstuff @heartstitched @thiccsys @b0tanicalb00ba @popiplant @rushroulett3 @wewawoomp @dagwmeno @onlyplatonicirl @elizakai @swiftmitsu @wizb1z @calciumdreams @psycho-chair @nashdoesstuff @unknownarmageddon @canine-teethed-sheets @fishfrypi @candy-cryptid @narrators1and2 @hazerun3 @monolite001 @bonejello @chasmbreach @xyriscomplanata @livinganime14 @paddinglily @corvidmellow @lambradire-art @hackrusty

♡

[angelnumber27]

It’s so embarrassing and heartbreaking being in so much pain over losing someone while knowing they don’t give a fuck if you live or die. Your favorite person becoming a stranger is a special kind of hell.

[something-tofightfor]

First: THANK YOU FOR WRITING THIS. I already told you this last night over text but it means so much that you took the time to create this for me - and give me such a warm and cuddly and perfect birthday gift in Frankie Morales and his Broad Ass Shoulders. You're the best.

Birthday office celebrations are always really awkward - but this one actually seemed very laid back and thoughtful. It's especially nice to be appreciated and celebrated after only a couple weeks of getting to know people, so I'm sure Reader feels a lot better about the new position and her new coworkers after this. (her coworkers sound great; I would love to meet them) And cupcakes are always a mood-improver, so good on them for bringing those in.

Spending a January birthday in Florida sounds wonderful right now (especially with these -25 windchills right now) but it's understandable that she's feeling homesick for her first major holiday away from her old life.

Kevin sounds like he sucks, so good riddance. And the City Planning guy also sounds awful, so at least there's a backup person on the phone call to make it less terrible.

Gloria seems like a lot of fun, and I feel like this is the perfect way to jump into an out of office friendship - especially if the night goes well. (And with Benny and the others involved, I'm certain it will.)

But feeling left out of an already established friend group's outing is a real fear, and even though there's no pressure ... it's still a lot. Enter Francisco.

He's so ... Frankie in this first paragraph it hurts. The hair and the hat and the "I'm not trying to impress anyone" attitude (even though he'd be impressive even if he showed up unshowered and rumpled and with 10 days facial hair growth) are so spot on - as is the banter between him and Pope and Yova.

43, hmm? OK. I can work with that. It sounds like a lot of things are going well and going right for him, and that makes me happy. They've all had a rough go after South America, so to have everything starting to fall into place has to be a relief. (I'd say RIP Tom, but ...) It's interesting to me that he immediately sees Reader - even though he's not looking for anyone or anything. And it's even more interesting that his first reaction is "I want to know her" - because that's at odds with what he's just told himself in the truck and on the walk into the bar.

Will and Frankie going back and forth makes me so happy. In fact, all of them together makes me smile, because ... listen, let me be real: their group dynamic without Tom is so much better.

Annnnnnnd it takes him all of about fifteen seconds after he sits to ask about Reader. Subtle, Frankie. Real subtle. And Gloria knows what's up, feeding him just the right amount of information and upping the interest. Perfect. Gold star.

His curiosity is really nice, too; like "why did this woman not have birthday plans? that's odd." being his first thought is very telling.

Reader's also not being too subtle about her attraction to him, and I like that. I like that it tells them both where they stand, and gives them a starting point - for whenever they actually speak for the first time. (Also, Yovanna I want to know what you said, too. Probably something like "see? He's staring right back.")

Selective hearing would probably come in handy around these guys at times.

Pope with the hockey tickets and Yovanna immediately humbling him made me laugh out loud. And here we go.

Him standing to introduce himself- yes. Him immediately telling her to call him Frankie - YES. Him getting her a chair... HELL YES.

He is handsome. So damn handsome. This is a good start.

This first hour and half is really telling; she inserts herself into the core group, she follows along with the conversation, and she keeps his attention, even when it's interrupted. That's got to make her feel so good about herself (it sure made me smile while reading it). And him wanting to know more, deepening the conversation more than just bare bones talk over beers dwslikfjslfklkalf fuck he's perfect. This is supposed to be his birthday celebration, and he's focusing on someone else. I love it.

Him giving her restaurant suggestions feels really right too. But I'm very distracted by that shirt and those shoulders and the man himself and I just ... Yes, Yovanna and Gloria. You were right but you don't need to gloat.

I can hear Yovanna's "I told you" in my head, and love that she immediately reassures Reader that Frankie isn't just a hookup type of guy - and that his interest is genuine. (Yovanna and Pope are sickeningly cute but I love it). And it's clear that Reader gets along with the group, so I doubt that Yovanna would be encouraging her to go for it if she thought it would end in disaster.

The hand - chair - shoulder move .... fuck. Fuck him he's slick. It's the perfect way to show definite interest without being overbearing, and if it's not reciprocated? It's just a casual gesture that he could have done to anyone at the table.

If he looked at me like that or his eyes dropped or his breath caught I'd be done for right then and there. Just kiss me in front of all of these people, Frankie, I do not care.

LATE NIGHT SUSHI DATE WITH FRANKIE MORALES?!!??!? SIGN ME THE FUCK UP.

They're matching each other's energy here, and it works really well. One upping each other with the invites and interest is a surefire way to keep things moving forward - and even though it's a surprising turn of events, it's a welcome one.

He is BOLD - but I really appreciate that he tells her exactly how he sees (and wants) the night to go. He can kiss frosting off of me any goddamn time he wants to. Him giving her his full and undivided attention while talking about how the bar-time part of the night is over would make me MELT. Fuck.

And I like that since Benny picked her up, Frankie's taking her home - which gives them more time to talk and more time to flirt and more time to get to know each other between the bar and the sushi - and then after. I hope they stay up all night talking (and doing other things). I hope that they find out that they have a lot in common. I hope that they continue to date and that they all become friends and Frankie's confidence continues to grow and Reader realizes that moving to Florida was a good decision.

This was such a treat, Alyssa. You always characterize everyone perfectly IMO, and it's so fun to read and see what you do with these characters and situations. Frankie is one of my absolute favorites and I loved everything about this. He was the perfect way to warm up on a frigid night - and the IDEAL birthday gift. You're the best and I am so lucky to know you.

Unbirthday

A/N: Although I am now two entire weeks late (I am the actual worst) this was written as a birthday gift for @something-tofightfor, because she is the fucking best and I love her guts. Rachael, I hope you enjoy this silly little story. Since Frankie Morales is apparently a "fictional character" and isn't "real" I couldn't wrap him up and send him to you, so this was the best I could do. Sorry it became an unbirthday gift - but it sort of works with the story that way. Anywho, here's hoping that this trip around the sun is a GOOD one!

And if it's your unbirthday today, happy unbirthday to you, too!

Word Count: 6.2k

Warnings: alcohol, and Frankie's shoulders and back making a shirt work very hard.

Summary: Spending your birthday in a brand new city goes from zero to sixty thanks to a co-worker who is determined to become a friend... and thanks to the breathtakingly handsome guy she introduces you to.

You had only been at your new job for a few weeks when your birthday rolled around, so when you walked into your office and flicked the lights on that morning, you were shocked to find a balloon tied to your chair and a white bakery box holding an assortment of cupcakes atop your desk. 

What? Who did th-

“Surprise!” 

You spun around to see a handful of your co-workers gathered in the doorway behind you, bright smiles on their faces as they wished you a happy birthday. 

“Oh, shit!” You let out a laugh as your hand came up to cover your mouth, prompting more laughs from the others. 

This is so nice, I wasn’t... Despite the fact that on your very first day at the firm, the office had been celebrating someone else’s birthday, you hadn’t expected anything for yours. Because I’m still brand new here, they hardly know me. You got along well almost immediately with the people you worked with, which was fantastic. Still, the fact that they embraced you quickly enough that they would want to do something for your birthday came as a genuine surprise that gave you a small rush of warmth. 

Not that you needed it. January in Tampa was certainly not January in the midwest. You hadn’t felt a chill since you took the transfer, a fact that you made sure to text your shivering friends back home every few days. But even though it was a balmy 68°F and you were wearing short sleeves under your light sweater, the added warmth of your colleagues’ kindness was more than welcome.  

Dropping your hand, you beamed at the group which had grown by two more associates from the interior architecture department down the hall, Mel and Casey. “Thank you all so much! You guys really didn’t have to do anything at all. I-” 

“Oh, stuff it, of course we did!” Gloria, whose office shared a glass partition with yours and with whom you traded exaggerated expressions while on client calls, stepped forward and threw her arms around you. “You’re the best transfer this office has ever had, we lucked out when we got you! Of course we’re going to celebrate your birthday.” 

You chuckled, giving her a quick, loose hug in return. “Gloria, did you do this? Also, weren’t you a transfer from the New York office?” 

“I was. Like I said,” she released you and stepped back, grinning. “You’re the best transfer we’ve had. Happy birthday, Ohio.” 

The rest of the group called out individual well-wishes before filing back to their own offices and cubicles, leaving just you and Gloria.

“Thank you,” you said again, reaching out to quickly squeeze her arm. “It really means a lot to me.” You sighed, finally putting down your bag and shrugging off your sweater. “I’ve been loving living down here, but the past few days, I don’t know, I guess I’ve been a little homesick. I don’t usually do a ton for my birthday, but this is the first one where I won’t see any of my family or my friends from back home so…” You gestured to the bakery box sitting next to your keyboard. “This was just really nice of you.” 

“You’re welcome.” She scrunched her nose. “Thanks for being ten thousand times better to work with than that dipshit you replaced, Kevin.” 

You snorted. Though you’d never had the displeasure of meeting the notorious Kevin, you’d heard enough about him to know that his presence in the office was definitely not missed. “No problem, though from what I understand it’s a very low bar.” 

“Which you leap over with the ease and grace of a…” She circled her hand through the air. “A… Oh, I don’t know, whatever the hell leaps gracefully. I’m a landscape architect, not a poet.” 

That made you laugh again. “Speaking of which,” you pointed at your computer screen. “Are you ready for that conference call with the city planner? J.R. approved our designs, so-” 

“Yeah, yeah,” she cut you off, nodding. “All set. Designs for the new park. Not looking forward to dealing with Sweetheart McGee, but-” You rolled your eyes as she used the nickname you’d given to one of the men you’d been working with from the city planner’s office who called the to of you “sweetheart” every time you’d spoken to him. “But it should be a smooth call. More importantly, though-” 

You had a sneaking suspicion that whatever was coming next wasn’t, in fact, more important than the biggest project that the landscape department had in house at the moment. Gloria had a tendency to use the phrase “More importantly, though…” to segue into a conversation about whether or not you wanted to get coffee delivered or which shoes you thought she should wear to her cousin’s wedding or if you thought Greg from IT was cute or not because she could totally set you up with him if you did.

And you were proven right as she finished her sentence. 

“Do you have plans tonight?” 

Shrugging, you shook your head. “Nah. I’ll probably just order in and finally finish unpacking the last of my stuff from the move. There’s a sushi place around the corner from me that I’ve been meaning to try, so… Why are you looking at me like that?” 

The way she was looking at you was a mix of the way you might look at the last puppy in the window at the pet store, combined with the confusion one might display while trying to solve an extremely advanced math equation. 

“Because you cannot just go home and eat sushi by yourself on your birthday.” She held up her hand then, face returning to a neutral expression. “Unless that’s actually what you want to do. And if it is, I won’t judge.” But? “Buuuuut.” She pressed her lips together. “If you want to get out and do something fun? 

You cocked your head to the side. Maybe. There was no harm in seeing what she had in mind. If it wasn’t your speed you still had your backup plan. And I should really get that shit unpacked, but… It doesn’t have to be tonight. “What are you suggesting?”

Gloria’s eyes lit up as you asked, her smile widening. “Well, Benny’s… You met my boyfriend, Benny, last week when he picked me up, remember?” You did, so you nodded. “It’s actually one of his and his brother’s friends’ birthday today, too, or, it was yesterday, but they’re going out tonight because one of them was working last night I think? I don’t know. My point is, it’s just going to be a casual thing down at Duffy’s, and if you want to join, you absolutely should.”

You were about to decline when you asked yourself why you shouldn’t go. 

First of all, you seemed to be on the fast track for an out of office friendship with Gloria. The two of you clicked right away, and though you’d only spent time with her out of work once, you could easily see it happening more and more. And I want that. You had solid friendships back home and scattered far and wide, and those people meant the world to you. But you would be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t want to form a few friendships in your new home, too. 

There was also the fact that the bar she’d mentioned, Duffy’s, was only a few miles from your place. It was actually where you and your sister went for drinks after she helped you move the last of your things into your condo. She’d driven down with you to keep you company on the trip, then taken a flight back home. But before she did, the two of you spent a day exploring your new neighborhood and ended up at Duffy’s. Though you were excited about your new job and the new start in a new place, you were still a little unsure if you’d made the right decision. But when you walked into the well-loved and weathered beach bar that night, something told you that everything was going to work out just as it should. 

And if for some reason that harmonious feeling you got upon entering Duffy’s was a one time thing, you could leave and be home in under eight minutes. And tomorrow’s Saturday, so… Fuck it. 

“You know what?” You nodded, a grin curving up your cheek. “That sounds great, Gloria.” 

She let out a small gasp and clapped her palms together once. “You’ll come?” 

“Yeah.” You nodded again, your grin growing into a full blown smile. “What time?” 

 “Ah! I’m so happy!” She genuinely was, and it made you feel good to know that she was looking forward to getting to know you outside of work. “I think Benny said nine, but I’ll ask him to be sure and then get back to you.” She clapped her hands together again and sucked in a breath as though something just occurred to her. “Oh! And you’ll get to meet Yovanna! I told you about her I think? Anyway, she’s dating Santi, one of the guys in the group. She’s great, you’ll like her.” Gloria chuckled. “And she’ll like you, too.” 

“I hope so!” And if not or if it’s awkward because they’re friends and I’m new… I can just go. 

“No, she will, trust me.” Gloria furrowed her brow and nodded. “You two are actually pretty similar.” She smirked. “You don’t take shit and neither does she.” The slightest hint of mischief sparkled in her eyes as another thing dawned on her. “Wait, two of the guys are very single right now and one of them-” You were trying to stop her right there because you weren’t looking for a setup, but she didn’t let you, simply speaking just a touch louder so all you could do was laugh. “One of them is Benny’s brother, and the other is-” 

You finally got her to stop by waving your arms and forming them into an X shape, still laughing. “Gloria. Stop. I’ll come out because it sounds fun. But I’m not looking for a matchmaker.” 

She held up her hands in surrender, a sheepish smile in place. “Fine. I’m just trying to give you all the information ahead of time.” She winked. “Just in case.” 

“Okay.” You winked back, giving her a thumbs up. “Consider me briefed.” 

Before Gloria could say anything else, Mel’s voice came through the speaker on your desk phone, saying your name. You pressed the button that let you respond. “What’s up, Mel?” 

“Brandon Grant from the city planner’s office is on line one for the conference call with you and Gloria.” From across the room you heard Gloria groan, then looked up to watch her mouth “Sweetheart McGee already?” with a sickly frown on her face, and you had to close your eyes and cover your mouth so you wouldn’t snort into the speaker. “Can I put him through?” 

You cleared your throat and shot Gloria a look. “Can you just give me one minute before you put him on? Tell him I’m on the other line, just so I can log in and get the project files open and get situated.” 

“No problem,” Mel answered. “He’s early, anyway. Just buzz me back when you’re ready.” 

Thanking Mel, you clicked the button to end the call and then let your hands fall against your lap as you faced Gloria. “Alright, you ready to get this over with?” 

“We are really going to deserve those drinks after dealing with this guy.” She sighed, then headed for the door, only to appear a second later on the other side of the glass wall. She sat at her desk and started up her computer, then looked over at you and nodded once. 

You buzzed Mel back and then you were on the line with Brandon Grant, the man stepping right into his nickname upon greeting. 

“Good morning, sweetheart, how you doing today?” 

You cringed, forcing a smile into your voice as you answered. “Oh, you know! Another day in paradise! Are you ready to go over the landscape designs for the new park?” 

For the next hour you and Gloria took Brandon through the possible layouts, explaining why certain plants and elements were chosen, and answering all of his questions while simultaneously keeping a count of how many times he referred to either of you as “sweetheart”. By the time you hung up, the count had reached twelve and he’d thrown in a “hun” as a bonus. 

We definitely deserve those drinks tonight.

But even though he was a pain in the ass to deal with, Sweetheart McGee has chosen one of the three designs you’d proposed, and as long as it was approved by the city council, it would be your first project to move into construction since switching locations. Which is pretty cool. 

You sighed, leaning back in your desk chair as you peeled the paper off of one of the cupcakes from the box your co-workers had left you, reading over your calendar to see what was next on your schedule. Taking a bite, you hummed in satisfaction. Damn, that’s good. 

It was only ten in the morning, but it was already proving to be a better birthday than you hoped for. As much as you tried to focus on work for the rest of the day, you couldn’t help but feel excitement about the prospect of going out later that night. 

Because… It means I could really have a life here. Not just a job. Friends and good times and… You really didn’t want Gloria to try to set you up with anyone. But if it happened naturally? 

Well, if that were the case, you’d be open to anything. 

Sometime after your lunch break, Gloria heard back from Benny and confirmed the time with you, the woman insisting that you let them pick you up despite your protests about how close the bar was to your place. 

“You really don’t have to do that,” You tried one last time. “I don’t mind driving myself, and I don’t want to intrude on your date night or anything.” 

Gloria waved you off and clicked her tongue. “It’s not date night, it’s birthday drinks with friends. I promise you Benny doesn’t mind, and I definitely don’t.” 

Oh, what the hell? It was clear that Gloria was trying to make sure that you felt included, even though you wouldn’t know anyone there aside from her and her boyfriend, whom you’d only exchanged a few words with. You appreciated how welcoming and inviting she was, and knew that she meant well, having been new to the area herself only a year earlier. I can still call an Uber if I have to leave early, and that way I don’t have to worry about having more than two drinks. 

“Okay,” you said, finally giving in with a sigh full of faux exasperation that turned into a laugh. “You win!” You told her that you would text her your address, and then Mel was calling you through the intercom, letting you know that another of your clients was waiting on line one. 

“And I have Annie Fulton from Florida Polytechnic on line two for Gloria,” Mel added. “So if you could tell her to leave you alone and get back to her own desk that would be swell.”

Snorting out a laugh, you looked over at the co-worker who was quickly becoming a friend, only to find that she was laughing, too. “Well,” you said, “You heard Mel. Get out of here.” 

“Alright, alright, I’m going.” She backed out the door, calling out one last thing before she was visible on the other side of the glass wall again. “Can’t wait for later!” 

As you prepped the files for your next call, you realized that you couldn’t wait for later, either.

– – – 

Pope and Yovanna were just getting out of their car when Frankie turned into the lot at Duffy’s, his truck’s headlights sweeping across the other parked cars to reveal that both Millers, as well as a few guys he worked with down at the airfield, were already inside. 

Gang’s all here, I guess. 

He pulled into the spot next to Pope, the other man waving at him through the windshield, his free arm wrapped around Yovanna’s waist. She waved, too, giving him a smile that brightened her whole face. Turning off the ignition, he waved in return, then glanced at his reflection in the rearview mirror, removing his hat and smoothing his hair down before yanking it back down over his curls. 

Good enough. Not trying to impress anyone anyway. 

As soon as he opened his door, he was greeted by Pope’s voice. “Ahí está el viejo!” 

Before Frankie could respond, Yovanna smacked Santi on the arm. “And who are you calling old, hmm? Estás pisándole sus talones.” Frankie laughed at that, reaching past Pope to give Yovanna a hug first. “Happy Birthday, Francisco,” she said, kissing him on the cheek and giving him a squeeze. 

“Thank you,” he replied, grinning at her as they separated. He turned to face his friend then, giving him a nod. “And she’s right, pendejo. You’re catching up. If I’m old, what does that make you?” 

“Still younger than you,” Pope responded with a chuckle, slapping Frankie’s back before slinging an arm around him. 

“Yeah, yeah, alright,” Frankie rolled his eyes. “C’mon, let’s get inside before Benjamin comes looking for us.” 

The night out was happening at Benny’s insistence. Up until two days earlier, Frankie had no birthday plans and he had been just fine with that. Forty three wasn’t exactly a major milestone. And with the way things had only just started to really settle following their return from South America - the reinstatement of his pilot’s license, the finalization of his divorce, getting shared custody of his daughter - he hadn’t had time to think about smaller, more trivial things. Least of all, celebrating his own forty third birthday. 

But Benny claimed that a new beginning at the end of the shitstorm was the perfect time to celebrate. 

Which Frankie thought sounded a little like one of Will’s speeches blended with Benny’s optimism and garnished with a twist of Pope’s persuasiveness, but at the same time, he kind of saw the point that his friend was trying to make. 

It’s less about my birthday and more about… He swallowed, flexing his right hand and then loosening it and letting it fall to his side. More about everything that comes after. 

The after. That was something that Frankie could readily celebrate. The fact that he, that all four of them, had survived the biggest mistake that any of them had ever made and could still fill their lives with good things, big and small. That was something he could drink to. 

Besides, it’s not actually my birthday today. It was yesterday. 

That didn’t stop Benny from letting the whole bar think otherwise. 

“Hey! Happy Birthday, Fish!” The younger of the Miller brothers exclaimed as Frankie, Pope and Yovanna stepped inside. He raised both arms, a full pitcher in one hand and a stack of empty glasses in the other. Behind him, Frankie saw Will stand from a table where he had been sitting with Gloria before making his way over to say hello as Yovanna made her way over to take Will’s place at the table. But who is that other woman? 

You turned then, laughing at something that Gloria had said. And even though he could only see half of your face from the angle of where you were sitting, he felt an instant attraction at the way that laugh brightened your eyes. I don’t know who she is, but I want to. 

“There he is,” Will said, clapping him on the shoulder with a grin. “Happy birthday, Morales. What are you now, sixty? Sixty five?” 

“Cool it, Ironhead, I’m only three years older than you.” Frankie responded, feigning offense and shrugging Will’s hand away. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Will laughed as Benny passed a full beer to Frankie. “We’re all on our way to the old folks home.” 

“Speak for yourselves,” the younger man interjected, filling and passing a glass to Pope, too. “Gloria and I are still thriving in our thirties, so-” 

“So that means you’re paying for drinks?” Pope chimed in through a smirk as he gripped his glass. “Wow. How generous of you, Benny.” 

Benny rolled his eyes. “Ha, ha.” Setting the pitcher down, he raised his own glass and the other three followed suit. “To Frankie. Cheers to being another year wiser than these wiseasses.” He cocked his head in Will and Pope’s direction. 

“Now hold on a minute, Ben, I-” 

But Frankie didn’t let Pope get the rest of his protest out before clinking his glass to the three that were waiting. “No, I think that was a perfect toast. Thanks, Benny.” He took a swig of his drink, and even though he hadn’t really wanted to come out, he was already glad that he had. Nights out with the guys weren’t rare occasions, not by a long shot. But he was still grateful that he got to have them. And tonight’s just getting started. 

Yuri and Ed from the airfield filed over then to wish Frankie a happy birthday, followed by a few other friends and acquaintances that Benny and Will had spread the word to. After about an hour of mingling, he finally made his way over to the table where the rest of the group was sitting, dropping into a seat next to Gloria. 

“Happy birthday, Frankie!” She spoke over the music and chatter as she leaned over to give him a loose hug. 

“Thank you, Glo.” He smiled at her as he pulled back. “It’s nice to see you, thanks for coming out.” 

She waved a hand as she reached for the handle of the pitcher, Benny scooching it towards her without breaking from the conversation he was having with Will and Pope. “Of course! Wouldn’t miss it.” She poured herself a half glass of beer, then wordlessly asked if he wanted a refill, too. 

Nodding, he held his glass in place. “Thanks,” he murmured, looking over his shoulder as she topped him off. “Hey who did I see you talking to before?” And where is she now?

A mischievous grin stretched across her lips as she looked up at him and set the pitcher on the table. What is that look for? “A friend from work,” she responded, telling him your name. “A single friend,” she added.

Frankie huffed out a short laugh. “I’m not- I didn’t-” 

“I know you didn’t.” Gloria winked at him. “I just want you to have all the information,” she added, knocking the rim of her glass to his. 

“Well…” He raised his glass to his lips, smiling behind it. Well… That’s good to know. “Okay.” 

“Oh! And it’s her birthday, too, so I invited her out.” 

What? And she didn’t have other plans? “Oh. Well, I’m glad you did,” he said, setting his drink on a cardboard coaster and letting his fingers slide down the chilled glass. “The more the merrier.” 

He looked up and in the direction of the restrooms just as you and Yovanna came through the hallway that led to them, and when he did, he locked eyes with you. Fuck, she’s beautiful. He felt his smile grow again at the sight of you, especially when he noticed your slight intake of breath as your eyes met his. He watched Yovanna say something into your ear that made you cover your face and laugh, and then she raised her hand to wave at him. 

I wonder what she said to her. He raised one eyebrow along with his hand as you dropped yours from your face. The remnants of your laughter were still written all over your cheeks and again he felt an undeniable pull, a desire to get to know you. Because I want to see that smile again. And I want to put it there. 

His thoughts were interrupted by Pope tapping the table in front of him. “Hey, ground control to Catfish.” Frankie blinked, turning his attention back to his friends. “You’re not going deaf on us, are you? I asked if you’re in.” 

Picking up an unused coaster, he flung it like a frisbee at Pope, who batted it down in one smooth motion. “Just selectively.” 

“Ha, ha.” Pope rolled his eyes. “So does that mean you don’t want to go to the Lightning game on Wednesday?” 

“The Lightning?” Frankie took a sip of his beer, eyebrows drawn together. “Since when are you a hockey fan? Do you even know anything about hockey?”

“Oh, believe me, he does not.” Yovanna laughed as she dropped into the booth bench next to Pope, her arm going around his shoulders so that her fingers could card through the hair that curled behind his ear. He turned to face her, both of them wearing ear to ear grins. “We watched the game last night and he had no clue what was going on the whole time.” 

“I didn’t,” he admitted, garnering snickers and snorts from both Miller brothers. “But I’m learning.” He shrugged. “The tickets are from work. We just signed a contract with Amalie Arena so I’ll get tickets a few times a year. So I figured why not broaden my horizons?” 

“It’s not the easiest game to understand right away, but if you give it a few games and actually pay attention, you’ll catch on.” Another voice joined the conversation then, and everyone turned towards where you stood at the edge of the table. “I have a friend who’s a big fan so I’ve watched a few games with her.” Giving a small shake of your head, you laughed. “I still don’t know all the rules. It’s a wild sport, but it’s fun.” 

“See?” Pope gestured at you with one hand. “I don’t have to know the rules to have fun.” 

“Oh, good.” Frankie placed his palm flat on the table. “So your short attention span should be just fine then.” His friend’s response was to flip him the bird, the rest of the table laughing before falling back into conversation as Frankie stood and faced you. “Hi, sorry I didn’t get to introduce myself yet. I’m Francisco.” He shook his head. “Frankie. Let me grab you a chair.”  

– – – 

You hadn’t even finished your first drink yet, so you knew the rush of warmth you felt in that moment had nothing to do with the alcohol and everything to do with Frankie’s slightly lopsided smile. 

Fuck, he’s handsome. He pulled a chair away from an empty table and plopped it next to his. And chivalrous. 

“Thank you.” You sat, returning his smile with one of your own, and telling him your name as Gloria slid your glass across the table from where you were sitting before to your new seat between Frankie and Yovanna. “And happy birthday.” You lifted your drink in his direction before taking a sip. “Thanks for letting me crash your plans.” 

“Thank you.” His grin spread wider, lifting his cheeks into his eyes. “Happy birthday to you, too.’ He tipped his drink so that he could clink the rim of his glass to yours. “And you’re welcome. I’m glad Gloria invited you.” 

Your eyes darted over just in time to see Gloria shoot you a wink over Frankie’s shoulder. “Yeah,” you said, still smiling, your heart beating just a blip faster. “Me too.” 

Over the next hour and a half that became even more true as you fell easily into conversation with the group. Gloria had been right about you and Yovanna clicking, and the guys were just as easy to get along with. Since there were other people there for Frankie’s birthday than just the seven seated at the table, he got up a few times to go spend some time with them, too, but each time he came back he returned his focus to you, either commenting on something that you were telling the others, or asking you questions if you weren’t part of the larger conversation happening. 

You told him about your job at the architecture firm, and about the transfer that brought you down to Tampa in the first place. Will and Benny chimed in when you talked about how different winter was where you were from, the Indiana born brothers claiming that they’d love to see Frankie or Santi shovel their way out of a Midwest blizzard. 

“Why?” Frankie grimaced. “That just sounds like it hurts.” 

You’d laughed at that, nodding. “It does. I love the snow and I don’t really mind shoveling but…” You sighed. “I won’t miss the whole body aches after doing it.” 

“Facts,” Gloria agreed, nodding sagely. “Shoveling snow is not fun or easy.”

“You lived in a co-op building in Queens, Glo,” Benny responded, tightening the arm he had around her and giving her a skeptical side eye. “You didn’t have to shovel anything.” 

“I did not,” she confirmed. “But I watched the snow removal guys and they definitely did not look like they were enjoying themselves.” 

Everyone laughed at that, and then the conversation branched in a different direction. But Frankie didn’t follow it, turning to you and circling back to your recent move. “So aside from the weather, are you liking it down here?”

Smiling, you nodded. “I am. I’m still getting my feet under me. Learning where things are and which take out spots are good and all that.” 

Frankie hummed, crossing his arms over his chest. “Try Tino’s on Gateway Boulevard if you like burritos,” he suggested. “And if you like sushi you should try Ginkaku on-” 

“-North Evans?” You asked the location at the same time that he said it, your eyes widening. What are the odds? “Yeah, I’ve been meaning to try there.” You chuckled under your breath. “I was actually going to stop there tonight on my way home from work, but then Gloria told me I couldn’t spend my birthday eating sushi alone, so…”

You trailed off as someone near the bar called over to Frankie, telling him that they had to get going. He twisted in his seat to respond, saying that he’d be over in a second, and you found yourself staring at the way the movement made the fabric of his shirt stretch over his broad back. Damn. Out of the corner of your eye you noticed Gloria and Yovanna giving each other looks that you were fairly certain had to do with the way you were looking at Frankie, but you didn’t care because when he turned around again, his deep brown eyes locked with yours and nearly knocked you sideways. 

“Sorry, I just have to go say goodbye to a buddy of mine from work, and-” 

“No, don’t apologize! Of course.” You cocked your head towards the bar. “Go ahead, Frankie, I’ll be here when you get back.” 

He took a breath, then swallowed and nodded, eyes still on you as he stood from his seat. “Okay. I’ll be right back.” With that, he turned and headed over to the bar, and you were met with a view of his back again. 

Tearing your eyes away in an attempt to be more subtle about your attraction to a man you had met less than two hours ago, you cleared your throat and finished your drink. 

Your attempt was for naught, though, because even though Gloria was engaged in an intense conversation with Benny, Will and Santi, Yovanna was looking at you with a smirk. “I told you,” she said, one eyebrow raised as she lifted her drink to her lips. “I saw the way he looked at you before. He’s definitely interested.” 

I hope she’s right. Heat flooded your cheeks as the thought crossed your mind, and you knew you likely looked flustered, but you shook your head and let out a scoff. “I- He… Yovanna, I’m sure it’s just-” You shrugged. “A birthday hookup or-” 

Her head moved side to side then, her dark curls swinging from her ponytail. “No. That’s not Francisco.” She glanced over at Santi, the man throwing his head back in laughter and clapping Will on the shoulder, a warm smile that softened her sharp eyes on her face when she turned back to you. “The two of them are very much alike. They don’t waste their time on things that they don’t think will be around tomorrow.”

As though on cue, Santiago leaned over to press a kiss to Yovanna’s cheek. “You good?” He murmured the words against her skin before pulling away. She turned to nod, scrunching her nose. “We’ll get going soon, yeah?” She nodded again, the man dropping another kiss to the opposite cheek. “Okay.” 

He turned back to the others then, but you noticed that his hand stayed on her thigh as she returned her focus to you, saying your name. “I know that you just met me tonight, too, but you can trust me on this. Besides-” She tapped her phone and you looked down at the time on the screen. “Tonight is not really his birthday, and it’s almost not yours anymore, either. So it can’t just be a birthday hookup.” She widened her eyes and pressed her lips together, reaching for the pitcher in the middle of the table. “I’m going to have one more drink. Do you want one?” 

Before you could respond, you felt the weight of Frankie’s grip on the back of your chair as he lowered himself back into his own seat. But it was the trail of his fingertips across your shoulder as he withdrew his hand that made you suck in a breath and wonder if Yovanna was right. Realizing that you hadn’t answered her question, you blinked and nodded. “Um, sure. Just half a glass, though.” 

Because if she’s right? I definitely want to stay clear headed for whatever might happen. 

You thanked her as she poured for you, and then turned to Frankie, licking your lips as you smiled. “Did you catch your friend before they left?” 

“I did.” He said it with a nod, then tilted his head to the side. What? Narrowing his eyes, he opened his mouth to say something, then hesitated, taking a breath instead of speaking. What is he- But then he straightened his head again and you saw - and felt - his eyes flick to your lips and then back up. Oh, shit, he- “So you said that you were originally planning on checking out that sushi place tonight but Gloria said you couldn’t spend your birthday eating sushi alone, right?” 

You pulled your lower lip between your teeth and nodded. “Yeah.” And I’m glad I listened to her. 

He sighed then and you got the feeling that he was working himself up to say something. “Well,” he let out a sheepish laugh and reached up to grip the back of his neck, thick fingers nudging the edge of his hat. “That place is open ‘til 2 on the weekends. If you’re hungry, we could go grab a bite.” Wait, is he… Is he asking me out? He shrugged, dropping his hand and giving you the same lopsided grin he gave you when he introduced himself to you. “That way you won’t be going by yourself and-” 

You poked your tongue into the side of your cheek. “And technically by the time we get there it won’t even be my birthday anymore, so-” 

Frankie nodded, grin spreading. “So Gloria won’t have a leg to stand on.” 

A thousand tiny butterflies swarmed through your stomach at the thought of spending more time with Frankie one on one. Oh, I am so fucked. Taking a breath, you looked at him and what you saw only confirmed that thought. Frankie was the most attractive man you’d ever been this close to. And he’s asking me out. There was only one answer, as far as you were concerned. 

“That sounds great, Frankie.” You held up a finger. “On one condition.” He lifted an eyebrow in question, so you went on. “We take it back to my place to go, because I have a bunch of birthday cupcakes leftover from the office this morning, and-” 

He laughed, leaning in to rest his elbow on the table, getting close enough to say something that no one else would hear. “So you’re saying if I play my cards right, I might get to kiss frosting off your lips?” 

Oh, holy fucking shit, Frankie. 

You gasped then, Frankie pulling back to see the reaction on your face, the expression he was wearing one that you would remember for a long time. Finally, you cleared your throat and answered. “That is exactly what I’m saying, Francisco.” 

His eyes flashed when you used his full name, and with his next breath, though he was still looking at you, he addressed the rest of the table. “Hey guys, this has been fun, but I think it’s time to call it a night.” 

Within a few minutes the tab had been paid - Will, Benny and Santi insisting on splitting it between themselves - and goodbyes were said. But despite what Frankie had just said, you knew that your night was just getting started.

.

.

.

Thank you for reading! If you would like to be added to or removed from the taglist, please feel free to let me know by sending a message or filling out the form on my masterlist! :)

tags: @something-tofightfor @cannedsoupsuckssoupsucks @dihra-vesa @disgruntledspacedad @littlemisspascal

@alraedesigns @mishasminion360 @stevie75 @nyctophiliiiiaaa @practicalghost

@tanzthompson @amb11 @harriedandharassed @woodlandmouth @thescarletfang @trickstersp8

@imtryingmybeskar @wildmoonflower @mswarriorbabe80 @theredwritingwitch @silverstarsandsuns

@competentpotato @pedro-pedrito-pascalito @jedi-in-crocs @hannahkatharine @anoverwhelmingdin

@chiyo13 @myloveistoolittle @noisynightmarepoetry @Severin-proud

@Vickie5446 @jessthebaker

[nnnn99999]

This post is a result of a note that has been sitting in my drafts since the first episode. It was sitting there for so long because I was waiting for the series to end to see if they would continue this theme to the end, and they did. So here is my essay on family as one of the central themes of peaceful property.

Family has always been my top priority in life. This is actually one of the reasons why I was so touched by peaceful property. Because this series gave me so many different types of familial bonds, good and bad. Because of who I am, I have a hard time relating to romantic love. It's not that I can't feel romantic love, it's just I don't really understand it that well. I have a superficial idea of it, but I've never felt it myself. But familial love is something I can definitely relate to and understand, so peaceful property was such a comfortable watch for me.

So what is family? Or a better question might be, what makes someone family? Family is the people you love and trust unconditionally, the ones you want to stay with for the rest of your life, the ones you find comfort with in the hardest of times, the ones you want to protect with your life, the ones with whom you share such an unbreakable bond that no matter what happens you find your way back to them. You may or may not have blood ties with family, but you definitely have strong emotional ties that can't be broken. This is what family means to me.

From the very beginning, peaceful property gave us different types of families, most of which are non-traditional. Peach and Pangpang, Home and his grandfather and Somkid, Kan and her single father, Suradech as a loner, Rak with her parents and husband, the magician and his sick daughter, Phoom and Vicha, Rider and Tharnsai, Somkid and Yai and finally Home, Peach, Pangpang, Kan and Suradech- all of these are the different families I can remember from the show. (I might be missing some since I'm writing this whole thing from memory but if I don't remember it, it means I didn't care about it.)

My point is, from the very beginning, this show was exploring different kinds of family dynamics. At first, I thought this show wanted to say something about capitalism and classism. But by ep 4, I was questioning my own assumption. By ep 6, I had a new perspective. In my opinion, this show only introduced these topics because money, status and class determine how we interact with others and how we form bonds with others. This show was always about Home's journey to finding his family. It's just that his wealth and status, how these things had been used in his favor, how he has an impact on people who don't have these things, how people perceive him because of it, how his thought process and behavior is influenced by these - all of these affect Home's quest of finding a family. It's not just his personality that matters. His upbringing, his privilege, his lack of understanding of the world due to his privilege matter too.

This is where the different family dynamics come into play. Home, who has no idea about the true meaning of his own name, has to experience all of these different family dynamics to understand what having a family feels like. The goal of the show was clear from the begininning-what is the meaning of Home? No matter how you interpret it, it is clearly about Home's personal journey.

Family was always the driving theme of this show. All actions and motivations of the characters, be it the living or the dead, can be traced back to family in some way. The first ghost helped Home meet his new family, Peach and Pangpang take Home's offer for their family, Kan wanted revenge for family, Somkid became the way he did because of family, Phoom and Vicha ended up the way they did because of family, the magician resorted to playing tricks because of family, Chef Hong's ghost couldn't pass on because she considered Peach family. Most importantly, the main cast who became a family by the end of the show. And there is still so much more sprinkled throughout that I don't have the patience to mention.

At the end of the show, Home's answer to the question "what is home" was wherever feels like home is home. The answer I got from the show is slightly different, or maybe just a little better articulated than Home's answer. What is home? The answer the show gave me was, home is where family is.

[robin-buckleys]

𖤓˚𓅆𓇢𓆸 navigation ⋆.˚𝄞⨾𓍢ִ໋⋆☾

☼𓋼𓍊 𓆏𖧧 hi I'm caitlyn! ˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗ -ོ 𓅰

☆ tracking: #usercaitlyns

☆ links:

my blogs

my creations

navigation

series by episode/character/etc

blogroll

tagged in

media tracker (still working on this)

☆ castlegc:

my most absolute beloveds who changed my life forever and mean the entire world to me (genuinely can't thank you all enough for being the best people in my life ILYILYILY !!!):

♡ @charliexspring ♡ @ellaxlopez ♡ @elliewlliams ♡ @gaygentdanvrs ♡ @jemmaasimmons ♡ @laffertys ♡ @laurenxgerman ♡ @leojfitz ♡ @mauraeyk ♡ @mazykeen ♡ @richcrdcastle ♡ @salvatoreselena ♡ @trixiedeckerstar ♡ @twelverriver ♡ @useragarfield ♡ @useryoumna ♡ @violet-bridgerton ♡ @youkilledpetunia ♡

☆ mutuals: also here

If we’re moots, ILY (even if we’ve never talked!!) p.s please don’t be scared to message me whenever, I don’t bite. We can be awkward together akdjfjjd!!! I wanna hear about the things you love or whatever you wanna scream/fan girl about or how your day’s going or literally anything you want to tell me!! I care and I want to listen !! ♡ anyways thanks so much for following me and I’m glad we somehow found each other on this hellsite! Muah!! Sending a big hug your way besties!!!

@28goldens @amalgamads-aneacc @ashleyyroses @bestofcastle @biathecreature @chippythedog @calia-lynn @charliexspring @daomaikeng @delphines @dreamersdivingheadfirst @dxnny-art @esmealux @elliewlliams @evenasyoungastheyare @greenforestworshipper @ghost-roads @haroldsmoon @huggieshalo @holyshit @horancover @harrysmaison @handgf @harrysputa @icarusinterlude @justthinkingaboutlouis @lululawrence @lebesyej @laurenxgerman @lassos-welton @leojfitz @laffertys @laurens-german @lavenderberries @larriescompass @lucy-mclean @mauraeyk @mayasbishop @morningstaraurora @mazykeen @moon-sun-thyme @niallonlyknows @pearlblue2 @pocketsized-healer @pop-punklouis @sason-judeikis @suesheroll @salvatoreselena @stedelasso @sneaky-salty-bitch @stayprettyandsmile @starrynightniall @sunshineysprinkles @sharpesjoy @softcherubhips @seeleybooth @sunmoonandrainbows @sthabit @sunsmile-lou @tomlinshires @thelarrielouie @trixiedeckerstar @toherlover @useryoumna @useragarfield @violet-bridgerton @welllbeafineline @wecantalktomorrow @wendersfive @youkilledpetunia @zourried

*if you're on this list and confused why I tagged you it's bc you follow one of my sideblogs lmao

☆ about me:

pronouns: she/her

animal & nature lover, directioner since 2011 (ot5), biologist and photographer by day - fangirl blogger at all other times, scorpio

music: love pop, rock, lofi, really just anything tbh, I'm literally always listening to music ALWAYS

shows: castle, lucifer, obx, ted lasso, young royals, virgin river, sex education, psych, adow, heartstopper, bridgerton, & sooo many more

movies: the little mermaid, anyone but you, pride & prejudice, sleeping with other people, la la land, the greatest showman, shazam, narnia, barbie & a ton more

watch list/to read list: NEVER ENDING (but listen...I am always open to suggestions...honestly please send me reccs I would absolutely love to hear what you guys have to say/what you're currently into)

drafts/queue: also never ending (the struggle is soooo real being in so many fandoms afsjjgk)

I’d love to make more friends on here, please say hi! I'd love to talk & make new friends (although I suck at replying quickly akjdfl but I def still wanna chat w you)