#((Okay so I wrote a book but I had this scene so clear in my head and obviously again no need to text match))

[tkingfisher]

So I write all sorts of things (fiction, fanfic, screenplays) and my mind is cluttered garden of flowers and weeds and shiny ideas, and I'm wondering how to form a writing practice to clear it into tidy rows? Is it possible to shepherd untamed ideas into order?

How do you manage all your wonderful worlds, characters and inspiration and not feel haunted by the story bits and pieces in your head? Any practical tips beyond dark magic?

Thank you, you are such a constant inspiration for me, both prose and just your presence. <3

*laugh* Oh god, Nonny, if I ever find out, I’ll tell you! When you read books, you’re getting the Instagram-filtered view of a writer’s brain, all the flowers that grew out of the compost heap, carefully composed and shot in optimal lighting. The real inside of my skull is a magpie nest of Neat Shit I Read/Saw/Thought Up While Lying Awake At 2 AM. There are characters and ideas in there that I’ve been trying to get into a manuscript since I was twelve and typing on an Amiga 500.

But, that said…really, I think it’s okay. Creativity is inherently untidy. The compost heap can be corralled into a very pretty box made of sustainably harvested materials, hand-stained by traditional artisans being paid a living wage by an employee-owned company, but as soon as you lift the lid, it’s all worms and coffee grounds and old potting soil and cow shit and the vegetables you swore you were gonna eat this time before they went bad. That’s what compost is.

Nevertheless, having been in the business for…uh…fifteen years now? (@dduane is snickering at me, I can feel it) and having written nearly forty books, I can offer three bits of something less than advice. It’s what I do. It may not work for anyone else, but it’s what I do.

Un-Advice The First: If you get a shiny idea and you are super excited by it? Go ahead and chase it. Pull up a new page in Word or whatever and slap down a couple thousand words while it’s exciting. I know that this absolutely flies in the face of common wisdom, but quite frankly, my enthusiasm is a much rarer commodity than my time, so if I’m excited about something, I write it down until I’ve taken the edge off.

Then I usually save it into a big folder called “Fragments” and go back to work on whatever I’ve got a deadline on. (Usually. Sometimes the edge doesn’t wear off, and I wind up with another book. Which, y’know, darn.)

There are vast numbers of people who will tell you that a shiny idea is a sign that something is wrong with your current project and the solution is to knuckle down and work! through! it! And those people are probably right for them, and I trust they know how their own brains work. Me, though, I got ADHD like a bat has wings. My hard drive is a vast swamp of story beginnings, neat ideas, random scenes. And that’s okay because I still get books finished.

In fact, it’s better than okay. Not that long ago, my agent sent a novella to a publisher and they said “We’ll take that novella and three more novels. What’ve you got?” And I ended up plundering my hard drive and sending the editor a good dozen random beginnings until we found one that we both liked, and then I wrote the rest of that book. And then another one. If I hadn’t had all those fragments lying around, though, it would have been a miserable experience of writing book pitches and trying to think of stuff I could get excited about. (This may not be how some editors work, but it’s how my editor and I work, anyhow.)

Un-Advice The Second: Trust that everything will find a home eventually.

This one is easy to say and hard to do because sometimes you get that overload that if you’re writing the book about, say, werebear nuns, you aren’t writing the one about the alien crustaceans. Or worse, you feel guilty. If you don’t use that one cool thing, was all that time you spent on it wasted?

Breathe. Be easy. Every single cool thing does not need to go into a single book. There is no sell-by date on the neat character. You will probably write many books in your life and all those random characters will find a home. (Seriously, the werebear nuns were lurking for like a decade.)

For me, at least, when I find the spot where something fits, it often snaps into place like a Lego. Easton’s backstory as a soldier from a society where soldiers were a third sex had been kicking around in my head for a few years, derived from about three different sources, and then I wrote the opening to What Moves The Dead and all of a sudden Easton was there and alive and they had strong opinions about everything and I had ten thousand words practically before I turned around.

You can also stave off guilt by writing some of your ideas in as highly personal Easter Eggs. A couple of my books have references to a white deer woman, a heroic deed done by a saint and the ghost of a bird, and a woman with dozens of hummingbirds on tiny jeweled leashes. Those are all characters and stories I’ve had vague notions about, but haven’t managed to work in anywhere or learn much more about. Still, the passing reference is enough to make me feel like I haven’t abandoned them.

(The advantage to this is that once you DO write those in, the readers are all “oh my god, she foreshadowed this a decade ago, she must have planned this all out in advance!” Then you look really clever and well-organized and no one has to know that you have no idea what you’re doing.)

Un-Advice The Third: Write the kitchen sink book.

At one point, I had so many stray ideas that hadn’t gotten into a book yet—the tree of frogs, the dog-soldiers, the stained glass saint, the albatross and the shadow of the sun, and also I wanted to write something with Baba Yaga—that I hauled off and wrote a book where I just put in everything and the kitchen sink. It’s called Summer in Orcus. There are bits in there that I had been cooking in the mental compost heap for decades, but that weren’t enough on their own to sustain a whole book. The phrase “antelope women are not to be trusted” showed up in my head some time in college. It’s a fun little book and I’m proud of it, but it’s very much a patchwork quilt of weirdness. But it’s also written so that if later on, an antelope woman shows up in another book in another context, that just adds to their mythology, it doesn’t break canon or whatever.

(Pretty sure I’m not the only one who has done this, either. China Mieville has said that he wrote Perdido Street Station because what he really enjoyed was writing all the weird monsters.)

So yeah, that’s my advice, for what it’s worth. Some days I just tell all the fragments and ideas that I promise that I’ll get them a home eventually but I need to write this thing here now. Sometimes I throw down enough words to get the story stabilized and then I’m okay to move on. Sometimes I write multiple books simultaneously.

Any method you use to write the book, so long as it doesn’t hurt you or anyone else, is a perfectly valid method. If anyone tells you different, you send them to me.

(…god, I hope that was the question you were actually asking, Nonny, and that I didn’t go off on a completely different tangent when you just wanted to know how I keep track of a plot or something.)

[uninformedartist]

😐 GRANT ME STRENGTH

Screenshot from Showtoonz

She saw many MANY people seeing how obviously one sided their "relationship" is and made this tweet, emphasising BOTH made mistakes.

Nah Vivienne, the only mistake Blitz made in their "relationship"... was nothing, ha WAS NOTHING.

Stolas though, lets see. Made that contract during a time Blitz's life was in danger, Blitz reluctantly agreed to it. The contact in question was ALWAYS about sex & fulfilling Stolas's desires. Blitz's business, livelihood, employees, family was on the line. Stolas's contract put Blitz's under & I say it again economic duress & the contract in its nature is cohesive rape. Blitz had no say on the details of the contract he just agreed because his life was in danger & his business was on the line when it was initiated.

Stolas then in many instances throughout so1 degraded Blitz. Touching Blitz without his consent, making sexual remarks & vances on Blitz that made Blitz visibly uncomfortable, gave him the pet name "Blitzy" a name Blitz on multiple occasions was verbal on denouncing. He used Blitz as an ash tray in one bedroom scene, called Blitz an impish plaything, referred to him, his employees and daughter as little creatures. He abuses the imp staff that works for him, using them as some kind of stress toy. Read a flipping book called "imps in the sheets" in front of his family, fetishising imps and so much bloody more.

So piss off Vivienne that people are seeing your racist, rapist elitist bird boy for exactly what he is. No manipulative tears from Stolas can change what YOU wrote him as. Like you wrote him as the most trash of a character & now want to change the game by writing him as a sad uwu birdy who is actually done wrong by cos the imp he exploited yelled at him, the imp he kept chained to him metaphorical in this contract. Blitz in his hallucinations literally viewed Stolas like a sort of slave owner, having him in chains by Stolas.

...Do I need to even mention that Stolas in his human is white as hell & Blitz is brown on account of how his twin sister looks in her human disguise.

So no it ain't clear that BOTH made mistakes, piss off with that. It genuinely boggles my mind she sees nothing wrong with how much of a piece of shit Stolas is & how Blitz is the only victim in this situation.

But then I remember the kind of person Vivienne Medrano really is... all I'm gonna say.

Credit to versosikastrikerexcuser, they got a really good blog post on all the shit Stolas has done:

[h0ney-mochi]

a little kunikuzushi brainrot from the anon who sent the kissing scara ask ...... i just NEED someone to talk to about this ughh

okay. he's, of course, innocent as ever, so this one time when he comes across a ✨spicy✨ moment in some book he'd been reading, kuni doesn't understand what's happening in that scene. so he comes to you for help!

when he asks about it, you chuckle awkwardly and try to avoid explaining it to him, but kuni's eager to learn and doesn't want to give up easily. he's so cute omg

my brain has a limit, so what would you do?

(also, you seem like a pretty cool person! can i be 🧋 anon?)

Kunikuzushi x reader ;; readers pronouns not mentioned

SUGGESTIVE CONTENT (it's mainly sfw, but at the end it gets a little suggestive)

Summary: Kunikuzushi spends some of his time reading. His pure, innocent self comes across a.. scene, which he doesn't really understand, but from the sentences it's good..? So he comes to you, asking for your help on it. How could you deny him when he's so eager to know..?

A/n: WELCOME 🧋 ANON <33 Thank u sm for the ask!! I like to think I'm pretty alright :)) I don't think I wrote this well ahh.... 🙌

This made me think, a little hard to write on the explaining, so that part is a little messy.. but ahhh, explaining to lil innocent kuni what the scene is... his flushed reaction... aah~ the possibilities?!

Minor writer, dni if uncomfortable!

You're just relaxing in your room, writing some things down on a small paper. That's when you heard footsteps and the door open. You turn around and see that it's Kunikuzushi. You noticed that he had a book in hand. You greet him, asking what brings him to you, while you go back to your paper.

He walks next to you and sits down on the chair next to the desk. "Well I- there's this scene in the book and I don't understand.. it..?" He quickly opens up the book again and you put your pen down. Kuni shows you and you take it in your hands, reading. It takes you a moment to realize you're reading one of those spicy scenes. You stop reading as you widen your eyes, looking at him, back at the words and then back at him.

You put the book back in front of him, awkwardly laughing. "Well, that's- It's not really important, so you can just continue in the book," you say, smiling slightly at him, "It's not the the end, is it?" He nods, but continues to speak, "Well, yeah, but I want to know. She describes it as-" "I very well read what she described it as, Kuni," you chuckle, tapping your fingers against the desk, "But it's something you can learn later in life, you know-?"

"Why can't you just tell me?" He stares with a confused look, "Is it really that bad? The author certainly doesn't write it like that-" You let out a sigh, thinking, staring at the book. He leans down to meet your gaze, "Please?" You look at him. Is it really worth telling this pure soul what he just read? Well, his curiosity is adorable.. Oh dear. He won't back away that easily, so might as well just get over it, no?

"Alright, um," you start, clearing your throat, "Give me the book again." Kuni gives it to you and you head to the page. You read through the start of the scene and then a bit after, quickly grasping on what exactly you're about to explain to him. You're not sure if he genuinely does not know anything or maybe he knows something, just a little.. you hope he does, would ease your mind..

You start speaking, asking 'simple' questions first, such as how much does he know about anything related, and all that jazz. You're regretting everything as you're proven again that no, he does not know.

And so you explain. Bit by bit, you try your best to tell him that yes, that's seggs, and yes, a man has his dick inside a woman in the scene. And yes that they both receive pleasure. You tried your best, yet you had no idea what the fuck were you trying to say. But the more you tried to explain, the more you noticed his face getting hotter. He asks questions, you answer them.

At some point you shut up completely, seeing Kunikuzushi put his hands on his face for a moment. "Are you okay?? I know this is a very awkward topic, I don't know if I'm even telling you something," you chuckle a little. He takes his hands away and swallows. Kuni looks back at you, shifting in his seat, "..And how do they- how does that feel?" You blink. Thinking for a moment, you respond, "Well, it usually feels good, the author wrote it as.. well, we both read it."

"Have you done it?" His gaze is unfocused. You shake your head, "No, but I've read of it, maybe seen it, and few of my friends speak of it." It's silent, Kuni being lost in thought. Then he whispers an "Could we try it?" Your eyes widen at that. He looks at you with a pleading look, "Pleaase? I want to know how that is.." "Kuni, this is something you should really think about first-" You quickly respond, but he interrupts you.

"Please?"

..You can't say no to that, can you?

So with few more sentences, and him being eager to have you show him, you and him were on the bed. Your hand held his face as you told him how to kiss, Kuni immediately pressing his lips against yours when you stop talking.

Then you had him part his lips, so you could show him more how a kiss can be. Your hand on his cheeks, the other at his waist. In between kisses, he's telling you how he's feeling weirder and hotter. Each of your soft touch on his body was making him shudder and make noise in your mouth.

"Are you sure?" You ask again, hand tracing his arm. He nods quickly, "Yes, yes, please." So you continued. You laid down while telling Kuni what to do, telling him that yes, you can touch that, yeah you can touch that as well. It seemed like he couldn't focus though, too much information, too much of your touch, your words, you. His hands were a little shaky, he was flushed and his eyes always went from your eyes to your body. After a moment, he just mumbled out an 'It's too much..'

You nodded, saying it's completely fine. You understand. You laid him down and got on top, indulging him another kiss. His hands went on your shoulders, moaning in the kiss when your hand trailed down his stomach. Kuni pulls away, bucking his hips, "Lower.. please, touch me-" So you did. And his head falls back as a whine comes through. You press a kiss to his cheek, "I'll show you what they did, alright?"

[bebewrites]

I promise I searched your blog, but how do you (specifically) zero draft? The post that showed up in a search of your blog was like, bullet point writing whatever is in your head for the.wip, which I think is v cool and would help me finish lofm! So I'm curious how you do it!

Oh yes, okay! I don't think I've actually explained it anywhere, but I love talking about this.

what is a zero draft?

The great thing about a zero draft is that you can pretty much make it whatever you need it to be. For me, I was having a hard time with the middle of my story. I've started and stopped this wip so many times, always getting hung up at the same part as I approach the middle. I've always had a very clear picture of the beginning and the end, but never how to get all the way through from point A to point B. My original outline had things in brackets like [character growth] and [plot stuff], but what does that mean!?

My goal was to get all the way through. So I opened a blank document, started at the beginning, and literally rambled and talked my way through the entire story. I didn't write real prose. It was all stream of consciousness. It was me describing what happens in the story as if I was telling it to a friend. The zero draft was my rubber duck. This was my brainstorming document. I used common vernacular and slang and abbreviations. There are bullet points, numbered lists, sidebars where I rambled about a scene I completely forgot to mention in a previous section. Lots of comments about things I need to include in the next draft. Literally anything and everything I thought of went into the zero draft.

A zero draft can be as long or short as you need it to be. Mine ended up being around 40k words. But I've seen other people say a zero draft is 10k to 20k words. It's really up to you! And when you feel like you've covered enough of the story to move on to the next draft.

And you don't have to go about a zero draft the way I did! Recently, an author I love and follow on instagram (Casey McQuiston) shared in their stories that when they were writing their most recent book, they zero drafted each chapter before they wrote it out. Casey said that because of this, it was first time they didn't have major edits and rewrites afterwards. So if you find yourself needing a little more structure and sense of where you're going, I think a zero draft could be super helpful!

Of course you don't have to have a zero draft, and if you've got a good sense of the plot and character arcs, you might not need one. But it can be a great way to brainstorm and figure out those things if you need to!

[bingwriterxo]

the shakespeare exhibit - drabble 1

pairing: tara carpenter x reader

summary: in which tara goes to your apartment for the first time

warnings: none

word count: 600+

author's note: this is set immediately before chapter 3. a little insight into R's life

previous part | next part

No fucking way, Tara thought as she stared at your apartment building. It was not what she had expected, though she wasn’t sure what she did expect--maybe something more broke-college-student-like, or a building along the lines of ‘my parents are paying for this, but it is New York City, so they found a place with the cheapest rent’. 

However, where you lived was neither of these things, and that was made clear by the doorman out front (who was watching her with a close eye as she simply stared in awe) and the fact that the building itself was fancy. 

She pulled her phone out of her pocket and scrambled to her messages with you, double checking the address. Sure enough, she was definitely at the right place, so she pocketed her phone and took a deep breath in, building up the courage to speak to the doorman. 

“May I help you?” he asked when she stood just feet away.

“Uh, I’m here for apartment 415?”

He nodded. “Yes, Miss Y/L/N informed me that you would be coming.” He gestured to the revolving glass door. “Right that way. You will find the elevator in the hall to your left.”

“Okay.” Tara offered him a smile. “Thank you.”

She pushed through the door and marveled at the lobby, which was not at all like her own apartment building. Your lobby was all grand chandeliers and friendly faces and people dressed to the nines walking around. Is she, like, secretly rich? No, she’d have told me. Right?

She went down the hall on her left, went up the elevator, and searched for your apartment. It wasn’t difficult to find, and she gulped as she knocked on the door that was labeled with a golden 415.

You were quick to answer, a shining smile on your face as you pulled the door open. 

“Hi,” you said. Oh, that voice, she thought, grinning. “Come on in.”

She had assumed--though she supposed she really shouldn’t have--that your apartment would be just as grand as the rest of the building. And, to an extent, it was. It was an open floor plan with a large kitchen attached to the living room and a few doors that led to other rooms. 

But, where the rest of the building held a certain type of sophistication and grandeur, your apartment did not. Instead, it was littered with statue busts and old paintings and tapestries and books upon books that were stacked in any place they could be stacked. Tara felt as though she had just walked into a museum rather than your home. 

“Woah,” she said, trying to take everything in at once. She is such a little nerd! “This is…”

You glanced around shyly. “Yeah.” You chuckled. “I know it’s a bit much, but, well”--you shrugged--“this is everything I like. The busts are all literary figures, and the paintings are scenes from novels or plays, and the tapestries are the same.” You looked at her. “What do you think?”

I think that you vomited your personality all over this place, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. “It’s beautiful.” She stepped farther in, looked at the busts up close, ran her hand over a few of the tapestries, and then came face to face with a framed letter written in nearly illegible penmanship. She turned to you. “This is…?”

“Oh! That’s a letter that Dylan Thomas wrote to my grandfather. They were friends, back in the day.” She blinked once, twice, and you giggled. “Dylan Thomas was a famous Welsh Poet. He wrote ‘And death shall have no dominion’.”

Tara nodded. “Right. Obviously.” She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and furrowed her eyebrows. “And you got all this stuff…how?” 

“Oh.” You glanced down sheepishly, a blush painting your cheeks. “My family comes from…money,” you confessed. 

“But you’re paying for your tuition?”

“Yeah, well, my parents and I cut a deal. They pay for”--you gestured around you--“all of this, and I pay for my tuition.”

Financially responsible. Noted. “Got it.”

You cleared your throat and held your hand out for her. “Should we get to studying?”

[toutvatoujoursbien]

A (relatively new-ish) fan’s perspective on Luke Newton

(I wrote my very first Tumblr post last month and now I think I’ve chosen the path of essayist/suffering. I’ve also been writing this on and off for four weeks because it seems like every other day, something new pops up or the fandom has a meltdown of some kind. I’m not even sure if it’s worth posting, but I think, like my first one, I needed to get this out of my system in order to TRY and return to being a normal person - which is still unlikely because Lukola has me in a chokehold. NOTE: I finished the majority of this on July 19, before all the weird-ass stuff happened over the weekend, and haven’t had the chance to post until now. Anyway, this is going to be long, full of ramblings that are hopefully organized in a cohesive manner, and all opinions and observations are my own. I have a lot of thoughts and feelings, okay?)

I’ve really struggled to understand why the whole Bridgerton S3 and Luke Newton PR stunt has embedded itself into my brain the way it has. Like, how could the actions of someone I don’t know still be lingering in my thoughts even now, weeks later? After my first post, I realized that there was more to the entire LN situation than I was previously unaware of - so I started digging. None of this information is hidden or secret, it was publicly available and therefore the fans picked up on it quickly. But I, personally, DID NOT KNOW ANY OF IT, going into S3, and I think that’s why everything has hit me like a ton of bricks. So I thought, surely I’m not the only new(ish) fan who has suffered from this emotional and mental whiplash? 

I really, really, really loved Luke’s portrayal of Colin and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed watching all the interviews and behind-the-scenes from S3. I would also love to continue to support him as he builds his acting career. However, I didn’t have a full picture, which unfortunately includes a history of making - what I think are - poor and questionable decisions in his personal life that he also allowed to bleed into his professional one. And that’s how I find myself struggling with the dichotomy of everything I’ve seen him do during Bridgerton promo vs. lots of other actions he’s taken. So let’s talk about it, okay? (Importantly, I reserve the right to update my current opinions as more information comes to light.)

I want it to be clear that I am in no way hating on Luke. Part of my struggle with writing this post has been because I don’t want this to be misconstrued as more hate being thrown his way. That is not my intention, at all. Seeing “fans” over the past few weeks absolutely rip into him on social media has been heartbreaking and deeply unsettling. This type of behavior is ugly and nasty and no one should be subjected to it. Full stop. As others have said: it’s okay to have thoughts and criticisms (criticism ≠ hate), but please keep it to the appropriate corners of the Internet. I think you can admire/support a famous person, but you should also be able to call them out on their conduct, particularly the stuff that happens in public. Blind love/following and putting people on pedestals is never going to allow any room for reflection and/or growth. I think there is a LOT of nuance in the whole discussion around him, his past actions, his handling of things now, and what’s in store for the future.

Okay, deep breaths & continue after the cut (because this got… wordy).

Some brief background on how I got here: As noted previously, I’ve been a longtime fan of both Polin and Bridgerton, first with the book series and then with the tv show. But, for whatever reason, I never even thought about jumping into the fandom until earlier this year, in anticipation of Season 3. I will say that I have been delighted with Nicola and Luke and their work as Polin from the start, but with the nature of the show being what it is, I just didn’t pay as much attention until it was their turn to lead. I watched some behind the scenes and promos occasionally, but not consistently. It wasn’t until around the February/Valentine’s event that I started to take notice and then I fell down the rabbit hole in April (literally, figuratively, and spiritually 😅). I say all this to illustrate that up until the spring, I was part of the General Audience, though admittedly with a bias towards viewing Bridgerton favorably.  Another factor is that I got most of my fandom content from Twitter (again, I’m never going to call it X), with the occasional peek into Instagram and Tumblr. Yes, Twitter is a hellscape. But I am also lazy and only have so much time to scroll online. And since everything seems to get cross-posted everywhere, it was easiest for me to keep mostly to one social media site to consume all my Bridgerton content. But I point this out because I now see this as an error on my part. Why? Because I wasn’t getting a well-rounded picture of the situation around L, N and S3. Remember my own self-admitted social media bubble? Sigh. The fast pace of tweets meant I could blink-and-miss something on Twitter, unless it trended (or really riled the fans up). It’s a breeding ground for the hyperbolic and for discourse, in general. Twitter also seems to be divided into the Luke Haters (let’s be real, most of their “reasoning” is just uncalled for, vile hate) and the Luke Apologists (who have the tendency to exhibit, imo, some gross-excuse-all-his-behaviors-he-never-does-anything-wrong rhetoric). So it wasn’t until I started noticing chatter of Luke’s past actions that it prompted me to start looking deeper into what others have witnessed and noted online, particularly on this platform. Again, it wasn’t like I was trying to find some sort of hush-hush subject matter. Instead, I rather got the impression that those established in the fandom had a sort of unspoken agreement to keep these discussions to DMs and group chats - mostly as to not detract from Polin’s upcoming season. (But seriously, great of y’all to keep it locked down, however it would have really helped a girl out all the times I was like, “why is everyone so mad?” 🤣) And a lot of things started clicking into place once I knew more of the details. So I’ve put together a list of high-level topics/points that I didn’t know before, being relatively new to the fandom. Perhaps this can help other fans who are trying to wrap their heads around the various discussions occurring now and may feel clueless.

One more thing, HUGE shout-out to @jack4132cf for giving me a concise timeline of… well, everything I apparently missed last year+ when I wasn’t part of the fandom 😆🙌🏼 They’ve really helped me fill in the blanks (of which I had many)! Also, darcytaylor has a great 3-part deep dive, and I’ve read (and backtracked) through most of herejusttosufferalong and allsortsofthingsmpov ’s blogs, among others. They’ve provided a place for differing opinions and perspectives to be voiced in a respectful manner (unless you’re a troll, in which any clap-back is justified). I may not agree with everyone’s take, but I firmly believe that hearing views from others has helped shape my own thought process.

Let’s begin, shall we?

The Hot Fuck Boy Summer™️ (which I’m trademarking as HFBS)

Bridgerton S3 wrapped up filming in March 2023 and then Luke starred in the play The Shape of Things, which was in production from around May-July 2023. At some point prior to all this, Luke and his previous gf broke up - this is reported on by several media outlets in March, as well as “news” that he joined the dating app Raya. This is where, I think, his questionable behavior starts to raise eyebrows. It’s not the fact that he’s dating - I feel like fans gave him a pass since he just ended a long-term relationship (Enter the mentality some had of “let him have his hot boy summer!”). No, I think the issue is that he was not at all private or discreet about it. 

Remember when I said I think he let choices in his personal life bleed over into his professional one? Yeah, there were multiple glaring examples happening in real time last year, and the fandom took notice. He started publicly following certain users on IG and liking their posts, (unfortunately) many of whom were young, female models and dancers, under the age of 23. He (foolishly) followed his private account on his public profile, and then tried to backpedal. He engaged with some online flirtations that didn’t sit well with the fans (cough, E. Bear, cough), and then tried to backpedal. Mind you, all of this occurred and at some point later on, it’s then also decided that he’s going to move (aka, clean up) his social media presence to be more work-related. My point is:

Luke was digitally messy and left a trail (several, really). 

In conjunction with the HFBS, we also have:

& That Friend Group

Ah yes, the “boys.” Look, clearly I don’t know his friend group in real life, so all I can speak on is the image they give off based on their public social media accounts. And I, personally, am very unimpressed with what they’ve chosen to share with the world. My general perception is that L’s group of friends love to have a good time and show it off; seem to have an large amount of influence over him, particularly R; and can been seen as reaping the benefits of his success. He has discussed before how he likes to be generous with his friend group. During HFBS, they posted all about their vacations, on public accounts, and tagged Luke in them. They posted thirst trap photos and tagged Luke in them. They took quite a few boat trips and, once again, tagged Luke in them. Are we sensing a pattern here?

His friend group was also digitally messy and left trails.

I am in no way saying his friends aren’t allowed to post whatever they want on their accounts. It’s totally within their rights to have a good time and capture it on their pages, and I completely understand the desire to only show the “memorable” and “fun” stuff on social media. I just think it was short-sighted to NOT consider that Luke’s fans would be interested in seeing what he was up to with his friends - and you know that people will always, always dig around on the Internet. Maybe this was some kind of fun game to them? Maybe they enjoyed the attention? Maybe they didn’t think it was that big a deal? Who knows? But I think, in hindsight, it would have been safer and smarter to not have all this documented and out in the open, imo. 

My other understanding is that around the time the break up was “officially announced,” Luke’s ex began dating someone who was 22/23 at the time. His childhood friend R also ended a relationship last year and began dating a young woman around 22/23. Do I think R may have encouraged Luke in a certain direction dating-wise, especially considering that A was/is a friend of S, R’s new gf? Do I wonder if this was all to get back at J for starting a relationship with a new young thing, too? It seems likely, but of course this is all conjecture on my part. This is giving “high school drama” vibes, being played out in public, which is very, very  unfortunate.

However, Luke was ultimately the person who did not ask his friends to refrain from posting him on social media, as well as publicly following young women on socials and not being very discreet about his dating life, which is what raises my eyebrows…

The Age Gap Thing

Let’s just address this here and now. Remember, these are my opinions, each individual is entitled to their own, and I hope everyone takes a moment to really think and evaluate how they feel about the matter! I’m going to be very transparent and upfront about this:

I do not like the age gap between L and many of the young women he was showing interest in last year.

I’m viewing this from the lens of someone who is an elder Millennial and female. For me, personally, my dislike has more to do with: 1) A's age when they started dating/the age she is now (22/23); but more specifically 2) the power dynamics at play. 

I don’t have a problem with age gaps overall, because I believe that love can find us at many stages in life. However, I’m also of the opinion that a person 30+ should not be dating a someone in their early 20s. I’m not going to use the whole “the brain hasn’t been fully developed” argument, though valid. My issue has more to do with where an individual is in terms of life experience, emotional and overall maturity, and (this ties in with #2) financial stability within age gaps. In general, I find, say, a 45-year-old dating a 37-year-old to be on more even footing, which becomes even more so as you age. But a 22-year-old, presumably fresh out of college/university and about to embark on their next steps into adulthood, is just not in a position to date someone in their 30s. To me, your early 20s are the time for you to gain all the things I mentioned above (life experience, maturity, financial stability that is independently your own) as well as make plenty of mistakes. And that’s not to say any of that stops once you hit 30, or beyond! I know I’m constantly evolving and learning more about myself and my place in the world as each year passes.

My deeper discomfort comes from the inherent power dynamics and power imbalance between L/A. Of course L has lot more of the power in terms of money, resources and status; they are not equal partners. This article here (https://jill.substack.com/p/the-problem-with-men-who-date-much) illustrates these points much better than I can; I think it’s worth the read. 

Is he allowed to date whomever he so chooses? Yes. Are people allowed to feel the ick with the current choice/choices he made last year? Also yes. Does it entitle anyone to post nasty comments on his social media? Absolutely not. I may not personally like his choice, but it’s ultimately his to make. 

NOTE: I also want to address right here that, to me, his behavior isn’t “predatory” or whatever twisted narrative some folks are trying to push. Honestly, I think he’s gone the complete opposite direction from the type of women his ex and N are because it might be less complex/more simple both in terms of emotions and permanence. But obviously, pure speculation on my part. 

Antagonistic A

At some point during HFBS, L meets A and she becomes a part of That Friend Group. During Fall 2023, there are many trips to Soho Farmhouse and other posts made to R/S/A’s social media accounts. A in particular made quite a few posts that could be interpreted as her wanting to show she was with L, but never actually including him fully (these are the arms/legs photos that fans talk about and side-eye). Some of these types of posts have since been conveniently deleted. L and That Friend Group celebrate NYE24 at Soho Farmhouse, where everyone but him share photos and videos. On Jan 2, a photo of L and A kissing was circulated on social media -  they got caught in the video of the band playing. Also at the beginning of this year, A - for whatever fucking reason - started tagging along on various work trips and had a tendency to post TikTok’s from various hotel bathrooms. Again, insinuating that she’s with L but not outright showing it. 

The “InStyle stunt” - end of March/early April, there is a trip to Los Angeles which A posted stories and photos on IG. It’s later revealed that L was going to be featured in InStyle Magazine’s “This Guy” series, which included an interview, video and photoshoot, as well as an IG post that consisted of several polaroid, “boyfriend-style” pictures. The Instyle polariods were released three weeks after A’s posts, and let’s just say that A’s are a little too on the nose to be coincidence (also cue more hand/leg reveals…) Please note, again, that some of these photos on A’s account have been conveniently deleted/removed.

These are only a few examples of how… messy this all is and how it can be viewed as her antagonizing the fans. There is a lot of back and forth debate between “just leave her alone, she’s allowed to post what she wants” against “she’s clearly using social media to taunt the fandom/get attention/chase clout/etc.” When I finally learned about all the social media games being played, I just felt really unsettled for a few reasons.

Luke has stated that he wishes to keep his private life more private (see: social media clean-up from last fall). But, and this is my big issue here, A and That Friend Group don’t seem to WANT to be private. So to me, that can push people to question how much does he know what’s actually going on (he admits to not being online much) and, more importantly, how complicit is he with all of their postings? I personally feel like the narrative being pushed by his friends is very self-serving, and doesn’t seem like it’s in L’s best interest or protecting his privacy. Because I think we all know and understand that if a celebrity wants to keep certain things private, they have the money and resources to do so - some good examples that come to mind are Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes, Benedict Cumberbatch, Dolly Parton, and our girl Nicola herself.

A has made it a pattern to post shortly after either Nicola or the main Bridgerton account posts something, usually on IG or TT; there is timely evidence of this. So much so that the fandom jokes about how obsessed she must be with N. And these posts don’t really have much substance - other than to show off her body or her latest vacation. It just all comes off as very insecure and seeking attention, whether it’s from L or from the public in general. Again, why do we feel the need to play social media games? But this does not mean she deserves hateful comments either. I personally don’t care for her or her actions, but as an older female, I also can’t help but be saddened by the fact that she’s making many, many poor choices in a very public forum. I can’t help but wonder if she’s going to have regrets later on when/if she reflects back on this time. 

The PR Stunt/Papgate

This has been dissected by the fandom to death and there are a plethora of theories on who exactly was responsible for calling the paparazzi, who knew what was actually going to happen, WHY did this occur, and how much did this impact the season and the press tour overall. It’s enough to make anyone’s head spin - hell, I’ve changed my opinion at least a dozen times over the past several weeks. Regardless, the thing that aggravates me the most about the whole thing is the absolutely terrible and suspicious timing of it. As stated in my previous post: Here’s my point: I think what should have been a moment of triumph and a joyous occasion for Nic, Luke, and Bridgerton season 3, was sadly overshadowed by the aforementioned shitstorm. And that’s a damn shame. Too many cast and crew put in a lot of time, effort, and blood sweat and tears, to pull this all together.

I’m still personally stuck on a few things: 1) How did paps know when L was leaving the official after party? Additionally, how did they know which hotel L was going to for his after-after party? Because that’s where we got the super awkward handhold attempt photos. 2) Did L know about the first location but not the second one - which ties into was this an attempt by his PR team to distance himself from Bridgerton and Nicola now that promo was almost done? Because the way he looks from location 1 to 2 is vastly different. 3) If paps were there, why was literally NO ONE else from the cast also photographed??? 4) Why has DM double (and tripled) down over the past few weeks on how she got those exclusive photos in the first place? And 5) Who ultimately has benefited the most from this whole PR stunt 🤔??? (Because I sure as hell don’t think it’s Luke…)

The Cinnamon Roll vs The Bad Boy

Luke has stated in several interviews that he’s interested in going for edgier, darker roles. I think that’s great that he wants to try something new and diversify; I would love to see him in whichever type of role interests him! However, he’s also spent 4-5 years playing Colin, a character that is quirky, kind and lovable (much more so on the show, thanks to Luke’s portrayal) and known for being the ultimate “wife guy” amongst the fandom. It’s also been mentioned time and time again that Luke is most like his character (by Luke himself and his Bridgerton cast mates). Nic speaks so highly of him, and the way he presented himself during the 6 months of press was really wonderful; I think he has a deep understanding and love for his role, and he was a genuinely supportive partner to his co-lead during filming. Think golden retriever energy - which is NOT a bad thing, at all!

If there is any truth to the PR stunt being organized by his team (and I’m in no way saying this is fact) as a way to differentiate/disassociate him from Bridgerton/Nicola, then I think this was a miscalculation on their part. We know that Luke did a lot of editorial photoshoots during the promo tour; and looking at the pictures now, it seems like there was definitely a narrative/aesthetic that was trying to be pushed of a more intense, moody and provocative L. Which is also fine! I don’t think he must be one personality or the other; humans are multi-faceted and complex, it’s what makes us so interesting.

The (Ongoing) Fallout

This is really difficult to write about because, honestly, I feel like we’re still witnessing it happening in real time, bit by agonizing bit. What we do know is that at this moment, he hasn’t announced any new projects other than returning for Bridgerton Season 4. He hasn’t announced any major brand deals and we don’t know what his next steps are career-wise. Which is completely baffling to me because I would think he and his team would want to capitalize on the momentum of a very successful season of a Netflix/Shondaland production. However, this is his life and his job, so until he comes forward with literally anything to say (a statement, an announcement, hell, he hasn’t even publicly claimed to have a gf FFS), then everything else is just noise and speculation. As much as I hope he’s not taking another HFBS, I also wouldn’t blame him for wanting to step away from the spotlight. He’s been unfairly dragged and smeared since the Part 2 premiere. Do I think he and his team/friend group have made a some missteps along the way? Yes, but again, no one deserves the nasty comments and vitriol that has been flung his way. 

So How Do We Move Forward?

I keep thinking back to the adage: When someone shows you who they are, believe them.*

And isn’t this the root of my (and perhaps others’) struggle? Because it’s been really difficult to reconcile someone Nicola calls “a true gentleman, the kindest friend, a dream costar” with a man who seemingly (?) goes along with pap walks, Instagram subterfuge, and appears to be distancing himself from the very project and costars that helped propel him into the leading man spotlight. For me personally, I go back to my point that people are multi-faceted and deeply complex. I think Luke can be all of those things; I also think he might be struggling right now to figure out who he is and what he wants next after being scrutinized so heavily.

Also from my first post: We have to remember, though, that what we’re shown is only a fraction of their true selves, carefully and deliberately curated to accommodate their status as actors/celebrities/those in the public eye. 

I choose to believe that we saw glimpses of the real Luke throughout the press tour. (ColinBridgey is a rockstar and compiled everything into a master list for our enjoyment!) I choose to believe Nicola knows Luke a hell of a lot better than almost everyone else yapping in this conversation. I choose to believe that his anxiety and quietness could be perceived as standoffish, and unfortunately he wasn’t able to shine as much as Nicola during the press tour, but they are a team and have each other’s backs - there is genuine love there, after all. I choose to believe that social media posting and likes are not indicative of the actual friendship and relationship between L and N. I would love to see him post more, or be more vocal in publicly thanking Bridgerton and Nicola - however, I realize those are expectations I have/desire and he does not owe me anything. 

I choose to believe that despite the mistakes and missteps, he’s a decent human being who deserves to live his life on his own terms and at his own speed. I really, really hope that whenever he announces his next project, I can be joyful and supportive. There’s a lot of talk about giving him grace, which I agree with. I cannot imagine, nor do I desire to be in the public eye this way; it’s easy for us and others to feel entitled to say things behind our screens and keyboards, but these are real, actual people with lives and feelings.

I do think that it is for the best interest of the fandom to try and ignore A and That Friend Group (and DM) as much as possible. And I will be the first to admit that it is really fucking hard to do so. Like I’ve said before, I try to ignore toxicity and hate, but I am also human and therefore imperfect and capable of pettiness. There is just something about this situation (probably how much Lukola captivated me and how much disdain I have for his friend group) that makes me watch everything play out like it’s a train on fire, careening towards an unfinished bridge, over a ravine. Sometimes I feel bad because I wonder if I’m adding to the entire spectacle with my continued interest. But then I remember that I specifically keep it to this corner of the internet, and I’ve found a nice little community where we can gossip and discuss and dissect it all.

If you’ve made it to the end, thank you. This is just everything I’ve been ruminating over the past month, put into word vomit form. I would looove to hear your thoughts and takes on everything/anything discussed above. Maybe you have a different perspective or noticed something that I missed.

*Fun fact: In my research, I learned that this saying comes from Maya Angelou’s “A Song Flung Up to Heaven” and is actually "Believe people when they tell you who they are. They know themselves better than you.” The more well-known version comes out of an Oprah Winfrey interview with Angelou in 1997, where they were discussing life lessons. Okay, I’ll stop being a nerd now.

[otrtbs]

Hi I hope you're doing well 🌷

I had a question. I'm totally asking out of pure curiosity, it's not a criticism or anything of the sort.

In ahb (this masterpiece of yours) Sirius's favorite painting is Degas' Dancers.

I wanted to know if you knew the background of this painting and if making it Sirius' favorite was a deliberate choice or if you had no idea at all.

Because the Ballerinas in Opera Garnier in Paris were all really young and mostly, they were poor. The dancers were often their family's hope to crawl out of misery.

The audience was full of men.

In fact, the sad flip side was that there was a whole prostitution network behind the scene. With these young girls. Men could pay for backstage access to watch ballerinas change and sometimes rape them.

So Degas was a big customer.

That's how he painted the dancers and most of his works.

That's again how he sculpted the ballerina, her tutu was added meaning the 14 year old girl was posing nude.

Degas is also suspected of being Jack the Ripper, there are a certain number of credible leads and potential evidences.

That's why I was wondering if you knew.

Since there is this whole chapter where they insult Picasso (as they should) I found it strange that Degas being a known major p*do did not receive the same treatment.

Ps: I'm french, I don't know if I made any mistakes writing this, if I have please excuse me I tried my best 🙏

Okay hi, hello! I am doing well and I hope you are as well! You have unlocked Art Historian Thesis Nat, so I am going to put an extremely lengthy post under the cut, I'm so sorry (this is literally my area of study,,, i fear i am incapable of being brief about this)

I do want to clarify that right off the bat, I don't necessarily think many of these art historical figures are "good people". Like none of them are the best, most moral, upstanding citizens you should model your life after (but they're also dead sooooo). But I also understand that I did take some time in my fanfiction to make my hatred for Picasso very clear, and so I can also understand the confusion in not extending that same hatred towards Degas. But there are a few reasons for that, that I'll try to explain below!

The direct historical documentation of Pablo Picasso's violence towards the women in his life is vast and damning. If you want particularly good insight into his violence and abuse, then I recommend reading Marina Picasso's (Picasso's granddaughter) memoir titled: Picasso: My Grandfather. I also recommend Françoise Gilot's (romantic partner of Picasso) books, Life with Picasso and Picasso and Matisse. It is through the memories of the people who loved Picasso and who loved him in turn, that we hear of his sadistic nature that drove his lovers to suicide and we get personal letters that he wrote to Gilot in which he says things like "Dora, for me, was always a weeping woman… And it’s important, because women are suffering machines" and "For me there are only two kinds of women: goddesses and doormats." His granddaughter has this to say about him: “He submitted [women] to his animal sexuality, tamed them, bewitched them, ingested them, and crushed them onto his canvas. After he had spent many nights extracting their essence, once they were bled dry, he would dispose of them.” And Gilot says: "I am the only one to not have been sacrificed to the sacred monster(…) and is alive to tell the tale. He was a wonderful person to be with, it was like fireworks, amazingly creative, so intelligent and seductive(…) but he was also very cruel, sadistic and ruthless with others and with himself (…) It was the greatest love of my life, but you have to protect yourself (…) The others did not, they clung to the powerful minotaur and paid a very high price."

Why this matters: The evidence for Degas being so virulently misogynistic and cruel towards women is extremely less substantial and more speculative in nature.

Degas being Jack the Ripper. Degas being Jack the Ripper started off as a tiktok theory posed in early 2024, (though you can find an article as early as 2004 written by The Guardian's art critic here) and while fun to think about and speculate, it isn't true. August and September and November of 1888 is when the Jack the Ripper crimes were committed in London and Degas was in the South of France at that time receiving medical treatment because he was in extremely poor health. (Which you can find in The Letters of Edgar Degas edited by Theodore Reff (I'm sure there's. free PDF version out there somewhere)). Also, self-admittedly speculative, but Degas didn't visit the East-End of London when he did make his excursions to London because he was classist 😭. So, it would be odd for him to know the ins and outs of the streets where the murders took place. And also he had failing eyesight starting at 36, so the odds of him being Jack the Ripper are extremely slim.

The Ballerinas Yes, while it is true that the ballerina's were often subject to horrific conditions and were prostitutes for the "wealthy" patrons of the opera house, this does not mean that Degas partook in that. in fact, most historical documentation surmises he didn't. Degas considered himself a "realist" painter rather than an impressionist painter, wishing to document "real life" in all of its ugliness, beauty and unstylized truth. Therefore his primary concern was documenting the opera house and ballet in all of the moments, not just when the girls were dancing on stage. And in many of his paintings, Degas captures the opera patronsn in his ballerina paintings as lurkers behind the stage curtains as sinister black shadows, or as men predatorily watching in nice suits (e.g. Ballet, 1876 and The Rehearsal of the Ballet Onstage (1874)). But Degas himself, was NEVER a ballerina patron, he is even quoted as saying "People call me the painter of dancing girls. It has never occurred to them that my chief interest in dancers lies in rendering movement...". (now this is not because Degas was morally outraged at what was happening to the ballerina's, but because he viewed the men abusing the girls as committing a sin against God by sleeping with prostitutes). But while Degas had access to backstage, he was never a customer. And in fact, Degas is a notorious, well-documented celibate. This is because Degas believed sleeping with women would make him lose his special painting ability. No lie. Here's a direct quote from Vincent Van Gogh in his a letter to his brother Theo about the artist: "Degas lives like a little lawyer and does not like women, for he knows that if liked them and went to bed with them, he would become intellectually diseased and would no longer be able to paint." Degas was also known to reject ballerina's advances as well (again, fearing women would take away his magic painting power).

Feelings towards women By all accounts, Degas friends describe him as being reclusive towards women to being jovial with them, but always kind to them outside of a working environment. He even developed friendships with his fellow contemporary women painters. In a working environment, Degas was obsessed with perfection, demanding ballerinas contort their bodies in painful positions, and making them hold those positions for hours at a time. By all accounts, this was not because he hated them, but was obsessed with capturing their movements, the limitations of the human body, and he demanded perfection from himself. (x x x) (i.e. his obsession for his work and drive for perfection as a painter made him demanding and harsh towards his subjects, not his pure hatred of women).

Conclusions: So by many accounts, Degas was not particularly fond of women, and had little regard for his dancers. But the claims that he must have slept with the ballerina's and been a patron/customer "because that's what all men did back then" are not backed by any evidence. only evidence to the contrary. I went in on Picasso because those that were close to him have written first-hand accounts of his monstrocity. This is not the case with Degas. So, while I didn't tear him down like I did Picasso, I wasn't lauding him as a saint either. I highly recommend reading the article called Degas's Misogyny by Norma Broude which details the ways in which modern times have run away with this idea of Degas being a sadistic woman-hater and how we've gotten to this point. Anyway, TLDR; I was aware of the dark "underside" of the Paris Ballet at the time in which Degas was painting his works. Do I think he is Jack the Ripper and a man who participated in ballerina prostitution? No, not at all. At the end of the day, I am just an art history girl, telling anyone who will listen that there is not enough documentation on Degas to take these claims as 100% truth, or put that man up there with Picasso. Peace and Love! <3

[the-quiet-youve-been-longing-for]

Okay so I need to get some analysis done about Daniel and his relationship with sex (and drugs) because I'm rewatching both seasons and oh man

Starting with Young Daniel

- "I can be on my knees in a second" "Bartering with desire, is that what makes you fascinating?"

This could be a way to get out of dodge in an extremely dangerous and scary situation, or the way out he goes for when also scoring for drugs

- Pulling off his shirt and calling it "fulfilling his side of the social contract".

It could be a joke, it could be a way to get *that* out of the way as if he was indebted to Louis in that way now, he doesn't have any money so that's how he goes

- "You said to a girl that you'll only do her if she had a paper bag over her head. She agreed and you did it, even as she cried"

(A small note about Armand, he's so twisted on how sex is handled due to his past that he calls this humiliation of an unnamed girl a "splinter of coldness". Dude, that's more than a splinter)

To this Daniel doesn't react, maybe out of fear for Armand, but it's interesting the way the gremlin plucks out that memory in particular. Maybe it's to see why he wasn't killed immediately by Louis?

There is no remorse on Daniel's part apparently, so that begs the question as to why he did that. Cruelty, a joke, a way to target that girl in particular? To lash out? We'll probably never know.

On to Old Daniel:

- "I really... I really thought we did."

This is the scene that saddened me the most, especially Eric's facial expressions as Louis says "do you want to now?". A tiny bit of hope that then gets crushed by disappointment, regret, shame. Maybe for the fact that he feels old, or he feels played by Louis?

- "[The gay bar] was a good place as any to score. I did what I had to do."

Score drugs, someone to listen to, something else? We saw that Daniel in the past was interested by Louis, which leads me to believe he is currently "hiding" that part of himself, showing it once more as an obligation.

He also wrote a book on the AIDS epidemic ("A shadow on the skin") when he was young, and another publication called "Searching in the Dark: One San Francisco clinic's fight against AIDS". There is no year added so it isn't clear if they were published before or after those nights in 1973.

It's also a midly worrying situation, now that he is a vampire. He's talking like his younger self, he's dressing like he is having a midlife crisis, and I fear that from there the step against relapsing into addiction will be close by, adding to that the fact that he's super strong and immortal. He wouldn't be bartering with desire to get what he wants anymore.

[ancha-aus]

RealAgeAU Drabble - Gameplan

Hello! Another Drabble (second one i wrote) concerning the idea of Nightmare returning to his original form (Lovely Prompt idea by @spotaus )

First Drabble here Prev drabble here Next Drabble here

Warning, unedited and unbeta'ed. We die like my ability to spell anything.

----

Cross checks around the corner towards the street and waits for a moment longer before nodding "I think we are in the clear. We can talk here for a moment."

Killer just lounges back against a dumpster as he pants "Good! Cuz! I am not walking another step!"

Horror frowns as he searches his backpack. Slowly taking out some fruits "We need to stop this. We can't get the resources we need like this."

Cross groans as he rubs his face "I know I know. But we can't just settle anywhere! How do we explain..." He stops and slowly turns to look to the side at Dust.

Dust sits completely calm on the gorund, cross legged. Looking perfectly calm and content. With the still struggling Nightmare in his arms. Dust just sits there and looks at Nightmare with a raised brow and moves around a bit. Easily getting Nightmare to sit back in his lap with one of Dust's arm holding Nightmare around the middle wiht both arms trapped. And the second arm around his shoulders to pull him back easily. Nightmare looks grumpy beyond believe and Cross can't take it too seriously as Nightmare lost all his goop and corruption. All that remains is a perfectly normal and adorable tiny babybones.

Cross turns back to Horror and Killer and waits.

Horror looks at the scene before shrugging before turning back to prepare a snack for their now tiny charge. Looking calm as he moves.

Killer snorts "Why would we? Boss is tiny now. So what?" and he shrugs.

Cross groans as he rubs his face. He can admit that he will still need some time to get used to the change. But it is okay as he can accept it. After they found the old picture book and the just as old crown they had been putting together what actually happened. And well, even if they sometimes act dumb three out of four of them have university degrees of some type and Cross had always been one of the smartest soldiers.

That together with the known fact that Drema broke out of the stone young but grew up made the fact obvious.

It wasn't that they were in a situation of Nightmare having been deaged. They were in the situation that the Nightmare they had known had been an aged-up version of the real nightmare. Which is the very same grumpy babybones that Dust is holding right now.

Yeah. Cross just needs a bit more time.

Cross glares at Killer and focusses at the issue they need to actually fix "We know that!" he waves around them "But how do you think anyone is going to react to knowing we have Nightmare and that Nightmare is well... like this again?"

Killer hums and nods "I guess..." he turns towards Nightmare "How about a different name? What do you think Nighty? What can we call you?"

Nightmare glares with all his six year old force "Boss."

Killer snorts "got it tiny boss!" and he grins at Cross and shrugs "Guess that idea is a burst. anything else?".

Cross groans as he rubs his skull "don't you see the issue?! If anyone finds out about this they will try to take him from us and bring him to the Stars, if they don't just call the Stars!" Or worse. And they will think that killing Nightmare would be a reasonable solution to keeping him from aging up.

Killer actually glares as he radiates his blood- and LOVE-lust "Let them try."

Cross sighs as he rubs his face "what do you suggest we do?!"

Killer huffs "Obviously we do what we are doing now. We keep moving and universe hopping." and he nods.

Horror looks up with a frown "We can't do that. We will run out of resources. babybones need nutrients" as he says this he sits by Dust and Nightmare with the cut fruits. Nightmare focuses his full glare on Horror but Horror doesn't even blink. They have gotten used to this routine over the last few days and there is a good reason Dust and Horror do it.

Dust nods as he helps Horror by aiming the still struggling babybones "Not to forget his schooling. Now that he is young again he will need to relearn things. Can't do that while hopping from place to place."

Cross turns back to Killer and crosses his arms "See? horror and Dust agree."

Killer grumbles. "Fine! We find some stupid positive universe to hunker down in some abandoned building and do raids to get stuff. Easy!"

Cross crosses his arms "Still the problem of what we do if someone sees him. How do we explain that? people will think we stole him!"

Killer goes to speak. pauses and tilts his skull "I mean. Technically we did kind of steal him. Sure he was originally our boss, so ours. So we have the right to steal him again but still. Very much stolen."

Cross sputters "I! I wasn't serious!" well he was but not about the stolen comment!

Horror speaks up even as he feeds Nightmare, which Ngihtmare tries to fight but Dust is there to assist him. "Technically it wasn't stealing."

Cross sighs "Thank you Horror-"

"We kidnaped him." Horror finishes his statement as he manages to get Nightmare to eat a bit. Nightmare actually pauses and the stubbornness makes way for the much younger mind that enjoys the food and a tiny soft purr starts to leave the babybones. He doesn't struggle as much anymore as the second bite is brought over.

Cross stops and lets his skull fall into his hands "we are so fucked."

All three speak up "Language."

Cross groans louder. They are so fucked.

---------

First Drabble here Prev drabble here Next Drabble here

[elysiaheaven]

𝐌𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐞 𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮-(𝐑𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨 𝐱 𝐅.𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫) (𝐅𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟)

Words:2000

Genre: Fluff

Summary: You had a small fight with Kakavasha ^^, You decided to take the request from (special guest mention) to make you attend as them in the lecture!! Just say present and go, because the professor who comes to check. Will never see the faces! But to your sad life. It was sadly that, that professor didn't come. Instead the guy who hates you but cares for you comes up.

(This part was taken from my first fic that I wrote for Aventurine ^^ since it was my first, It sucked!! But i did love how i wrote ratio and y/n sob) (KILLER CHAT HAS TO WAIT FOR A WHILE IM SORRY)

Past time!

You haven't spoken to Aventurine since he arrived. You're content arranging the paper in the file. Going into Jade's office, you don't even give him a look. Too dangerous, you might burst into tears. In front of everyone, that would be terrible. You still can't decide after last night's conversation: did you do the right thing? Or were you a heartless bitch?

Jade has a real radar embedded in her brain. She'll immediately see that things aren't right. You let out a slight grunt.

"Y/n..."

"Not now, Aventurine."

"Call me Kakavasha... I don't mind... if it's here too..."

"Not now." If Jade witnesses one of your scenes again, it's sure that you'll not be going to Penacony anytime.

Okay, let's calm down. For now, she still hasn't decided, and you have to submit a file you prepared. Everything is okay.

The good thing is Diamond likes you.

You worked hard to get where you are today. He won't give up on you on a whim. Penacony, your last hope of knowing why you even live...

In her office, Jade invites you both to take a seat in front of her. She has that look about her that doesn't exactly fill you with confidence.

"You must have your ideas about why I wanted to see you..."

"We can't continue like this... I have gotten reports that you both caused trouble in Uzami's family..."

(This character named Uzami was actually one of the villains in that book)

You swallow in response to Jade's authority. Aventurine remains stoic.

"You both got us another jackpot... good work, you two! I have realized that you two work better when you are a team... so I will think about Y/n going to Penacony..."

"That's good for me." You take a look at Aventurine. He has his gaze fixed on Jade, and his jaw clenched.

"Thank you, Jade." Aventurine leaves first, and then you...

You decide to chat with your colleagues...

Suddenly, you hear someone discreetly clearing his throat behind you... Aventurine.

No need to turn around and check. As soon he stepped into your little space, your arm hairs shot up in an inexplicable electrostatic reaction.

You didn't expect Aventurine to talk to you again. Given your rather unstable emotional state, this could go downhill.. You take it upon myself to not freak out destroy everything you see.

"Hi, Aventurine."

"Can we talk?"

"Yes."

"I..thought about those stuff and..." You nervously tap your nails on your desk to show your impatience. you're not going to worm things out of Aventurine this time

"And?"

"I think- we can try- to you know...go on-"

You hate this little heart of yours that is throbbing like a first timer in your chest! No way you are giving so easily.

"Yeah, A friendship or something. Well, I ain't gonna be your friend. Get out."

"Not as a friend."

"Eh?"

"I don't want to run away anymore, what I want is you..."

That's it, your heart's skipped a beat! You were so afraid of never hearing those from Aventurine.

"But...There's something too..to you know...ask sorry."

"What kind of stuff? Kneeling? Begging me? Making a passionate declaration..?" Your cheeks flush as you think of something like that. You nibble your lower lip to not spread your thoughts....Is he- fr! FR!!! GONNA!!! Shit! make him work for it!.

Aventurine knows you too well. He notices your thoughts immediately. His Adam's apple follows a vertical path as he swallows.

"A weekend together? You and me... An attempt at seeing if it works between us..."

"You know very well... It won't solve anything." He walks a little closer, and you see all the love in his eyes.

"I promise I will talk about everything... You're my best friend... I can't lose you."

"Huh?" Fuck, you really thought he was saying stuff like a date...

"But... I don't know... I know that you're the only friend I have... Seeing you in a romantic light is too much of a dream... I need time to move slowly... Plus, I acted like an idiot. Please, let's consider this-"

"Give me a week..."

Aventurine withdraws his hands and nods, visibly disappointed that you're not agreeing right away. He leaves the office space, shoulders down...

End of the past.

Aventurine runs a hand through his hair and ruffles it up impatiently. (There should be a law against being so handsome...)

"It's the thing..."

"I haven't decided yet..."

"Oh! Why?"

After hesitating to talk to you, Aventurine is now being very upfront. He's going straight to the point.

"I... really do love spending time-"

Aventurine's face suddenly lights up. He takes your remark as positive, whereas it's the other way around.

"That's an excellent reason to try it out... Am I right-?"

"No."

"I don't understand..."

Could someone please invent a decoder so that men can finally understand girls...?

"......I don't really want to be invited as your friend... It hurts..."

"......" He smiles and comes closer to you, but someone else drags you away.

"I'm taking y/n for a moment, sorry Aventurine!!!" It's Roxy, a student at the Intelligentsia Guild.

"SO... I have a date... Since you do come there to study..."

"I'm sorry, would you mind filling in for me today? They don't take attendance; you should be fine!!! I have a date with someone."

"That blue alien? Mega- Whatever... Okay! You are gonna do my work for today... though."

"You got it!"

But, the hell happened

The bell chimes through the campus... Students who were joking with each other gradually enter the lecture hall. Except for you, who sits in the corner sheepishly with your head down. Your phone vibrates.

"Hello, Roxie! I'm already in the hall, but it's still early." You put your hand over your mouth and keep your voice low.

"Thank you so much! Like I said, Professor Magnet's is very strict with attendance, but the teacher doesn't recognize all the students, so you can leave as soon as the register is done!"

"You said!!!"

"Thank you for doing this!! I will do all of the work this week!"

"It's fine... At least you have a proper date..."

"Hm!! Thank you!"

After hanging up, you let out a helpless sigh and look at the clock in front of the hall. There's still 5 minutes before 2 pm.

"Never mind, it's just a small favour Besides, I won't see that guy's face for a while."

Even though you were already in the hall, you still had to persuade yourself so that you'd feel less guilty about lying. Never thought you would be a student this way...

You took out your notebook while secretly observing your surroundings. Luckily, no one suspected this uninvited guest. The first page: you and Aventurine... that photo was taken by someone... That's the first time you and him wore fine clothes like that... Of course, it was a good memory... and this notebook was a gift from Ratio. He was always there for you and him....

Even, if he doesn't admit maybe he doesn't want idiots to be left alone.

There were only a dozen or so people scattered around the spacious lecture hall. You couldn't help but worried about whether you could sneak out later.

While thinking this, a familiar figure Wearing a blue suit and glasses with a briefcase in hand, Ratio walked straight to the podium. The moment he looked up, you quickly reacted and hurriedly buried your head behind the opened notebook. Before you could recover from the shock, Ratio's voice reached your ears.

"Good afternoon, I am your substitute teacher today. Professor John needs to take some time some time off due to health reasons, so he asked me to teach today's lesson for him...Let's see how many of you are intelligent."

The room was filled with a small round of applause. You moved the notebook away slightly to peek from between the students in front of you. One elegantly written word was written in chalk on the blackboard- Veritas Ratio

"So he's here as a substitute teacher, then maybe he. Won't do the register?" You couldn't help but murmured quietly.

"There are not many people in this class today. it's a bit of a waste of this lecture hall."

"Professor Ratio, if people knew you were teaching this class, there would be a queue at the door!" The jesting comment of the guy in the front seat was met with supportive laughter.

Ratio looked pissed off and raised his hand slight

The jesting comment of the guy in the front seat was met with supportive laughter.

"Today's lesson won't be hard, so you can relax and settle in."

Ratio was saying this, he turned around and walked toward the podium. Now is the time to run away!

You carefully stood up with back bent while keeping an eye on the front, preparing to sneak out quietly..

"However, there's one thing we need to do before today's lesson." Ratio suddenly looked back. You quickly sat down and created a noticeable amount of noise. Then you heard a faint laugh.

"Professor did specifically told me to take attendance. Now I seem to understand why.." Ratio pulled out the register from his notes and started to take attendance. His voice was well-paced like a flowing stream. it didn't seem to bother him even if there was no response after five names in a row.

"You can't explain how classes are important to idiots am I right?"

"Yes Doctor! You are the only one who speaks facts."

"Okay."

But you were on edge during the process. A second seemed like a year to you. At LAST.

"Roxanne Ritchi?"

You held you breath and gulped nervously. Your heartbeat seemed to be the only resounding noise in this quiet room.

"Is Miss Roxanne Ritchi here?"

You took a deep breath and waved with your left hand held high without lifting your head.

"Here." The air seemed to become stagnant for a moment. Ratio remained silent as if he was waiting. You slowly lowered your head and sighed, then you lifted your hand and gave him an awkward smile. Ratio raised his hand to push his glasses while quilting slightly. Moments later, he showed a knowing look.

"Since you're here, Miss Ritchi, why don't you keep your head up and enjoy the class?"

"..Yes sir.."

Meanwhile, a male student next to you suddenly titled his head and leaned over.

"Hey, are you here to sign in for someone else? So am I..."

"What? Uh.."

"I could tell right away this you aren't very experienced. When are you planning to sneak out?" You responded politely with a smile while catching Ratio's gaze with the corner of your eye. Before long, the register had been taken.

"My name is Yuji Itadori!"

"My name is y/n..." you smiled just when you were pondering whether you should find an opportunity to sneak out. Ratio directed his gaze at you again.

"Since there aren't many students here today, the students in the back can come sit in the front. Miss Roxanne Ritchi?"

Ratio gently lifted the corners of his mouth. Some glistening light slowed in the eyes behind the lenses, even his seemingly serious questions had a hint of a playful tone.

You looked at him in surprise without responding, hoping he could read the silent questioning and anger..

"Have a seat here.." Yet Ratio pointed to the seat in the middle of the second row as if he didn't see the struggles displayed on your face.

This man is so mean!!!

You pursed your lips and stood up with frustration. despite your fury, your body still obediently moved to the seat he assigned. The smile at the corner of Ratio's mouth spread, showing a look of satisfaction.

"Good. Let's get started. Please turn to page 7 in your textbooks. For those who didn't bring the books..Please take careful notes."

Ratio glanced at you as he spoke, then smiled while nodding his head..

Why the hell is he so calm today wtf..You reciprocated with a fake smile.

You exaggeratedly sat up straight, opened your notebook, and picked up your pen putting on a studious student look. Ratio remained calm and nodded, as if he was giving his approval, then turned around and wrote on the blackboard.

"Today. We will be looking at Electromagnetism."

He spoke as he flickered open his notes, then he tapped lightly on the microphone. His voice was projected through the speakers with subtle sound of electricity.

The way he took class was always interesting to you. Maybe you wanted to learn or maybe you just wanted to look at him always..

It's two-sided in your world anyways lol..(Whatchu looking at reader? I'm you and I know you might as be simping or just call him the best bro...either way-) What were you thinking again? You didn't know.

"Let's do a small experiment." Ratio smiled as he closed his notes, then he straightened his back and scanned around the room.

"I'll need a volunteer for this experiment. Miss Roxanne Ritchi. Would you do the honours?"

Ratio walked toward you with a smile in his eyes. Not being used to the name, you only responded after a delay and stood up in confusion.

"Sure. What is it Sir?"

"Relax. Just follow my lead. First of all, can you please tell the class that this is the first time we've met Miss Roxanne Ritchi?"

"Well. That's not true. I'd tried to attend your lectures several times, but i didn't manage because.." Because you weren't even a student. It's thanks to Roxie's id you're here...Ratio froze for a moment, then a smile promptly followed.

"In that case, it's my loss. I'll reserve a seat for you next time. Shall we begin?"

"Yes!!" Ratio moved closer while slightly leaning forward. his gaze wandered over you a few times before it settled on your shoulder. Then he let out a soft laugh and looked into your eyes.

"I like your cardigan because it looks soft and wind-proof. It suits you well."

"....." You didn't know how to respond, fiddling with your ear awkwardly and responded with 'Oh' in puzzlement. Ratio didn't seem surprised by your reaction. In fact, it seemed to be what he expected.

He took a small step back and opened his arms lightly in a presenting manner.

"Now it's your turn. What can you observe from me? You can respond with the same sentence structure." What kind of experiment is this..

Although you couldn't resist whining in your head, you still carefully surveyed Ratio.

"I like your...the way you teach. You call students idiots and it's mean and you want something to be solved by themselves. It's like a parent. The kid might be angry at the parent. But when it flies like the other birds..it will realize. That it needed a villain in its life to become a hero..That kind of people are you. You seem to annoy people so that.."

"I like the way you say. It seems messy but systematic. Also it reflects your character well. I believe you must be a diligent person."

Ratio took his turn with barely any hesitation and pointed to the notes spread out your desk.

"......That's the-" You stopped. Something you wanted to say..

"It's messy when I started trust someone.." You smiled sweetly and this time it wasn't fake..

"Good afternoon Sir!" A clear female voice coming from the entrance interrupted your sentence. A girl was at the door. A student? catching her breaths Her face immediately lit up when she saw Ratio.

"I'm sorry sir! I was late.."

"Have a seat there.."

"You can take your seat as well.."

Ratio gestured for you to sit down and returned to the podium.

"This experiment right now. Is something different some people are born to be smart in studies but some aren't but they are smart in analysis...through observations and analysis, we develop preliminary understanding of the person or a test subject or a object. The so-called insight isn't a one-sided observation, but a two-way contribution between the experimenter and the subject..."

"Is there such people like that?" A student's voice came out of nowhere...You knew Ratio was talking about you..At least some kind.

".....Yes, Many people call them a genius and yes it's true...Many people if they thought they outsmarted the person who 'they' believe is the victim. Are the ones who get victimised. To earn a sense of respect or if that kind of person starts to believe you.."

"They must be idiots like you say!" the same student replied

"They must..be thankful they have someone to trust. Some people always get betrayed it's not nature for them to be two-faced. Mind I remind not to speak when your professor is speaking? You are making yourself as the idiot here."

"Yes Sir!!" The student bowed his head and just kept silent.

"Each person has a different level of insight, just like some people have some people have stronger emotional perceptions than others. therefore, not only should we learn to observe, but we must also pay attention to the most mundane things around us. Our perception of the world is formed by us...So It's only nature for those people to be like that. So when they start to trust someone. They are learning to see the subtle beauty of the world. Give them a chance. You may find that the most brilliant colours are found in the most unexpected places." Ratio puts down the chalk, lightly dusted the chalk off his fingertips and turned to look at the clock on the wall.

"Perfect timing. That's the end of our lecture today. Thank you for giving me your precious 90 minutes and 20 seconds."

A few students nodded and they packed up and left the room. You deliberately packed up slowly and waited for all the students to leave the room. You walked to ratio and watched him packing up his notes on the podium.

"Ratio.." You pondered for a moment, then stood straight and gave him a small bow respectfully.

"Professor Ratio or Doctor Ratio! I shouldn't helped others to sign in, It won't happen again!" After you genuine apology? you were more relaxed and moved closer to him, staring at him with sad eyes and clasped hands.

"There's a reason for it..You see Roxie was having a lot of works at the IPC..I thought I can use this thing to get away from Aventurine to spend some time alone. I will talk to Roxie about it..This won't happen!"

Ratio put the last document into the briefcase and finally couldn't suppress his laugh. "Alright..I forgive you..Since class is over, This is Y/n in front of me now, right?" Ratio then leaned down toward you. His brows were arced into a handsome curve.

You heartbeat quickened, you then raised your hand to remove his glasses gently.

"Since the class is over, The Ratio in front of me can also relax more." You don't know if it was because you imitated his tone or gave a lame excuse. Ratio froze for a moment. There seemed to be some light glinting in his eyes.

"This is familiar.."

"You remembered!"

You couldn't resist chuckling, then returned the glasses to him, embarrassed.

"I do know we weren't at the best terms during that.."

"Yeah, I was scary right?!"

"Annoying and crazy. You didn't scare me. This room will be free for the rest of the day. I have another lecture in half an hour. If you don't mind would you like to sit here with me for a while?"

"Sure.."

"You seemed to smiling widely like a crazy woman ae you okay?"

"I think I'm sick...haha.."

"....." You both sat down face to face on two seats by the window, which made you feel like student even more.

"By the way, you took some notes during the lesson. Can I see them?" Ratio raised his eyebrows with the interest and extended his hand.

"What? You really wanna see..?"

Ratio nodded intently. you had no choice but to take out your notebook from your bag.

"Promise you won't get angry...You have seen my notes on my books before...My thoughts can be quite scatty.."

A soft smile tugged at the corner of Ratio's mouth. He took the notebook from your hands and started flicking through it carefully..

"You still kept the notebook I gave you. And.." He was reading very attentively, with his lips pursed into a thin line.

"Here, A misspelled word." Ratio suddenly looked up, handed the notebook to you while pointing at the notes. You stared at him blankly and took the notebook after some delay. Your cheeks flushed..

"H-hey...Look, I kind of wanted-"

"Really? Then You might have to redo this then.."

"Why?"

Ratio paused and held the side of the notebook. His fingertips gently flicked over a page. Your thumb that was pressed against the edge of the page followed his movements unconsciously. The thin pages rubbed between the fingers rustled steadily. Even the air seems to be delicately scented with ink.

Ratio's hand finally came to a halt. The corners of his mouth curved into a sly but handsome smile. He gazed at you with a hint of amusement. Under his fingertip was a tiny doodle. A scribbled cartoon face with glasses and a navy hair. "Can you tell me what this is?"

You turned your gaze from Ratio to the cartoon doodle he was pointing at. Your heartbeat fluttered unconsciously.

"This is..." You pretended to be calm, took the notebook from Ratio's hand, and held it next to his face, comparing him with the doodle. "It's you. Does it not look like you?"

"It seems that you like it." Ratio withdrew his hand and looked at you with a faint smile. This seemed to have happened many times, but it also seemed like the first time.

"....Haha, yeah kind of? This book has all my stuff. And this was a gift from you..." Ratio seemed stunned for a moment, as if he was thinking about something, then he rested his elbows against the desk with his hands clasped, showing that you had his full attention. But an idea suddenly came across your mind, so you deliberately cleared your throat, copied his pose, and spoke mysteriously.

"I want to ask you something.."

"Go ahead...What would you like to ask..?"

"Be honest, You didn't pick me for the experiment because I spaced out, did you..?"

"What do you think?"

"I knew you did it on purpose!"

"That's not entirely true. It's mainly because I trust you. You're good at seeing the subtle things in this world, so I knew you'd be able to handle an easy experiment like this. Plus, I trust the support between us.

Ratio then lowered his arms and gave you a serious look without a hint of playfulness. "Are you happy with my answer?"

"Very much so!" You chuckled and continued..

Ratio remained his quiet gaze at you.

You continued "The ordinary day was tinged with delightful colors because of our extraordinary encounter...I like the afternoon we spent together..But out of all things I like about you...I like your eyes the most because I see you looking at me through them. I like the way you look at me.."

Ratio smiled and held your face in his hands.

"I knew you loved the attention you get from people."

"Haha-"

"What's wrong? Didn't wanted to spend time with that Gambler?"

".....Nothing. I was just scared to make a decision..I don't wanna be friend zoned again.."

"Give it a shot you never know.."

"..? you think so?"

Maybe..it won't be bad...

"Ratio..?"

"...?"

"Thank you for always being there for me..."

[ooihcnoiwlerh]

So I've been working on a Feyd-Rautha/Reader fanfic, and am working out various headcanons I have for him in terms of his sexual preferences and past, as well as what I've written but might be a little too silly to include in future chapters and kind of want to get it out there to get an opinion on things.

Link here: And I Don't Want Your Heart - Chapter 1 - ooihcnoiwlerh - Dune (2021) [Archive of Our Own]

Some of my NSFW headcanons down below

-Okay, so it's firmly established that he's a sadomasochist. It's also mentioned in the books that he'd been abused by his uncle when he was younger. I don't think the two necessarily have to correlate but I think on some level he finds physical pain cathartic, and the moments in which he's masochistic to him feel like he's reclaiming something for himself. He chooses the pain rather than having it inflicted on him.

-I get the impression that he's generally more dominant but in the right headspace with the right person can enjoy being more submissive. It has to be explicitly on his terms, though. Like with pain, he has to make it clear that this is something he's giving of his own free will and that is not to be taken lightly.

-I don't think he would or could ever tolerate being subjected to humiliation, degradation, or feeling emasculated. Subjecting a partner to that, sure, but I feel like that would actually be a severe trigger for him so someone calling him pathetic or questioning his manhood in the bedroom may very well get killed on the spot for it. He's buried a lot of his trauma from his uncle's abuse but those things awaken it.

-I don't think there's a specific kink community with a vocabulary or guidelines on Geidi Prime. I don't think he knows what a trigger or a safeword is. As established already in my fic, he doesn't fully understand the concept of aftercare and is pretty bad at providing it (so far.)

-Being an arena fighter on Geidi Prime basically makes him a rock star, and as such he does get his equivalent of groupies. He's never been in an actual romantic relationship, but people fascinated with his brutality in the arena have gotten curious about what he's like in the bedroom and while it doesn't happen all the time, he has sufficiently satisfied their curiosity.

-I'm not sure if this will end up making it into the fic, but I picture him as being predominantly but not exclusively attracted to women, and as someone who's had a couple of consensual encounters with men as an adult, partly out of genuine curiosity/interest and partly to reclaim some level of power.

-Spoilers for future chapters--I'm writing it that he doesn't have sex with his Darlings. They're a little too animalistic even for him. He doesn't mind if people assume he does, though, because of the danger and fear associated with it.

-He enjoys period sex. Nothing deeper about it, the man just likes blood. Will also enthusiastically go down on his partner during the heaviest days.

-So...here's where I'm worried it's going to get a little goofy. While he has a lot of kinks that would be considered adjacent to BDSM, as I said I don't picture there being a specific community. I wrote a scene that hasn't been posted yet of Feyd-Rautha using a flogger on the Reader character and her initially being terrified thinking it's a cat-of-nine-tails and calming down somewhat when she realizes it's not that severe. I'm worried it will seem ridiculous, but I could also picture him having something certain tools custom-made for him. It was one of the first scenes I wrote for this fic but am worried it will come across as tacky/not fitting for the environment. Granted, I'm not writing a particularly substantial fanfic. It's completely removed from the main plot and is mostly a combination of character study and smut so I think anyone who's enjoying it probably knows that it's not that deep. *

*Although to be clear, I'd love to hear from people on that they think.

[zenaidamacrouras1]

for hot neighbor, how did you go about developing rosie and ruby?

Awwww thanks for asking (this is the ask) about Hot Neighbor and the Sunshine Baby!

I wanted them to be a bit like little versions of the boys themselves, but also a good fit to become obsessed with each other. My initial concept was, okay, in this universe, Steve and Bucky didn't meet as kids, but their kids meet as kids, so the kids will have the arc that Steve and Bucky would. (Without the romance cause I dunno they are step-sisters and that's weird to me). That's not exactly how it turned out, but it was a place to start.

As the story went on, they naturally got more fleshed out and then I re-wrote and re-worked earlier chapters to make it more consistent. I don't know the plots of stories till I start writing them and I don't fully know the characters until I'm writing them either. Which means I end up re-writing or working backward to put in little foreshadowing and personality details once I have a clearer picture.

Rosie was more clear to me. I had a very early and clear vision of her being very earnest and well meaning and an absolute fucking nightmare. I love her.

She is based off a few little kids I know that are pretty adhd and also very moral and want to be good and are just accidentally naughty all the time. I find this personality both incredibly charming (and of course exhausting)(and also relatable!!) and obviously it syncs up with Steve's impulsivity issues that she inherited and lastly, makes for a fun story.

Like most neurodivergent kids if she is doing something she wants to do (puzzles, legos) she is problematically focused and hard to pull away. Similarly, Steve (in canon) is a guy that has a living room full of war strategy books he sits and reads, and then jumps out of airplanes with no parachutes.

Ruby was a bit fuzzier, which is fine, as they start as babies. It took me some time to feel her out, but once I realized how shy and creative and low key yet strong willed she was I went back and re-wrote the early scenes with her and liked them much better.

I think Rosie greatly admires Ruby and genuinely enjoys her company.

But also.

Rosie likes having a shy friend who she knows better than anyone because they are so close and Ruby doesn't open up to most people. I think Rosie is probably jealous as hell of every friend Ruby makes. Which Ruby both likes and also gets super annoyed about because no friendship/step-sister is without conflict. Other conflict: They probably fight when Rosie gets too bossy, cause Ruby is real chill till she absolutely fucking is not.

As I often quote, Bucky likes Steve cause he likes the horsepower. Ruby can hold her own and has strong likes and dislikes but she enjoys the chaos machine of constant ideas that Rosie brings.

[damagedintellect]

Dazai Osamu x reader

💌 Reading into the palms of isekai bullshit:

Chapter 3 💌  

Summary: You were no stranger to isekai bullshit. It’s not like you had a problem with it. The genre took over the anime scene for years now but you try to stay away from thinking about how you would handle the situation. The last time you thought about inserting yourself into your favorite show you wrote a 100k word xReader fic for your favorite characters and you didn’t want to spend all your time consumed by the brainrot again. Never again, you promised yourself that was the last time you’d let the devil on your shoulder win. You clicked on chapter 1 to start the adventure over again but when you opened your eyes and saw Dazai O-FUCKING-samu getting choked by Kunikida you honestly hoped it was a dream.  

Notes: Another isekai so I can play around with BSD like dolls.  

💌 Word count: 2,981 💌 <= Previous Chapter | Next Chapter =>

Aside from the raid on the agency and fearing being shot to death the next few days turned out okay. You had a few scraps on your arms and legs from the broken glass but other than that you were right as rain. While Atsushi was going with Ranpo, Kunikida wanted you to stay behind to help reorganize the files with him.

 "I wanted you to stay behind because tomorrow you're going to escort Ranpo to Kyushu." He took another file from the stack you were holding. "You still have amnesia but it's clear your talent for palm reading could be useful for detective work. It's not Ranpo's ultra deduction but he should be able to help you get a better grasp of it."

You stiffened. You hadn’t thought of that. The next few days they would be handling the Azure Messenger. Which was a mess you'd gladly skip out on but the anime didn't follow Ranpo to Kyushu and you don't recall reading about it either. You'd have no idea what was going to happen. This isn't good but you can't refuse the order. Realistically it was sound logic but you were going to disappoint Ranpo with your clear lack of talent. Oh boy. You were dreading the experience. On the plus side with you gone Dazai could still offer his space to Sasaki and by the time you guys got back you’d finally have your own humble abode.

By train it would take several hours to make it to Kyushu from Yokohama. You were not looking forward to such a long journey especially with Ranpo. Sure enough it was only three minutes into the first train when the other announced that they were bored. “Well, did you bring a book or something?” you asked hoping he had the foresight to plan his own entertainment.

“I did but it was boring. It’s no fun when you can already guess the ending. They made it so obvious too.” he was flailing his arms before he settled to look out the window unamused and slightly irritated. You sighed, you brought a book too or well Dazai handed you a book. “The Complete Guide to Suicide.” You didn’t want to read it, not because the subject matter wasn't interesting, you just would rather not know but you were curious about Ranpo’s book. The moment you tried to grab for it he turned to you “It’s the sister, she lied about her condition and wasn’t even at the hospital. She and the doctor were in cahoots.”

You frowned “You know that’s not going to stop me from reading it right?” He rolled his eyes, pulling it just out of reach. “I know, how about you entertain me!” his smile sparkled with intrigue 

You raised an eyebrow “What you want me to tell you a story?” That wouldn't be so bad if you could just talk about another of your favorite anime. What were the odds they existed in this reality? Ranpo hummed “Not exactly. I want you to read my palm.” he practically shoved his hands in your face. “Well what do you want to know?”

He shrugged, “I don’t know, what can you tell me?” He seemed genuinely curious. Kunikida must have told him about your “talents” otherwise he probably wouldn’t have bothered. You grabbed his hands scanning over them before saying “Originally you’re not from Yokohama but you did go to the Yokohama Police Academy until you were kicked out because you exposed the warden. You met Fukuzawa by chance while you went to pick up your work permit. He was the one who gave you your glasses.” You paused to look up at Ranpo. Shockingly he opened his eyes to stare at you. He didn’t look off put nor did he look surprised but there was this secret third thing you couldn't place. You continued as you matched his eye contact “You don’t need the glasses to activate your ability but it does make it easier for you to shut it off should I go on?” You were not sure how much more you could say at this point. With the way he was looking at you you might have said too much already.

“You don’t actually read palms.”

Shit, he saw through you.

Hesitantly you laughed “What makes you say that?” your stomach drops when he tears away a thin layer of skin from his palms, it was a prosthetic. He came prepared. “Because it wasn’t my palm you were reading. So how did you know that?” Ranpo doesn’t move to pull out his glasses nor does his expression change but he continues to stare at you. A bead of sweat drops down the side of your face. Ranpo saw right through you from the beginning. WHAT DO YOU DO!? How did he know?

“I found it weird that Dazai wanted me to mask my hands. He had made a copy of his palm a few days ago saying he wanted to test your talent again. Kunikida said that when you first met you were able to read Dazai’s palm, with that being the case it confirmed it wasn’t a special ability.” He discarded the fake skin, throwing it into his bag. When he turned back to you he seemed perplexed with the new information. “If you actually read palms you should have recognized it was Dazai’s immediately. Instead you gave me information about myself that only one other person would know.” 

You sighed cat’s out of the bag you guessed. Should you just come clean or wait to see what Ranpo speculates? You sighed just when you thought things were going smoothly. “I should have expected as much from Dazai and here I thought we were finally getting along.” You shifted awkwardly in your seat to face Ranpo more. You were about to tell him when his eyes widened suddenly almost like a realization hit him. “You’re not from here,” he trailed off, finally closing his eyes “(Hometown name), right? But how did you end up here?” He relaxed back into his chair. You wonder how he figured it out but you wouldn’t doubt it had to do with the state you were in that night at the warehouse. “I wish I knew. The last thing I remember was falling asleep reading my favorite manga and then I woke up in the river. To be completely honest I thought this was a dream so I thought it would be funny to mess with Dazai a little.” you scoffed at yourself “Really stupid idea thinking back on it, but you know,” there was no way this was going to work. You had another stupid idea. “Since you’re the only one who knows if you ever wanted to mess with Dazai this would be the perfect opportunity to finally pull one over on him. Obviously the choice is yours but I’m just saying there would be no way for him to figure it out on his own.” You watched as a devilish grin formed on his face.

“I’m listening.”

“If you keep my little secret I’ll answer any questions you have plus be your snack gofer for a week. Oh and get you all the shiny marbles you desire.” This entire venture was hinging on the fact that Ranpo loved snacks. You only assumed it would be amusing to watch Dazai fumble about his original accusation. Dazai was never wrong and you knew that was one of the reasons Ranpo doesn’t like playing chess with him. So you figure it would be fun to watch Dazai have to reconsider his approach and strategy to gain intel on you. Watching Ranpo mull around the idea was a good sign. It meant that he was at least interested. In which part you didn’t bother asking.

“Eh, good enough for me!” He reached his hand out for you guys to shake on it. “So how’d you know about all that?” 

You smiled “Oh the Armed Detective Agency is a part of my favorite manga” Before he could ask you added “Yes, you are my favorite character. How could I not love the world's greatest detective.” He seemed pleased with himself as he dug out some snacks from his bag. He started munching on some chips not even bothering to finish the ones in his mouth as he asked “So then you know what happens already, isn’t that boring for you?”

You hummed “Not really, the story didn’t follow you to Kyushu so this is all new for me. Oh but Kunikida and Dazai will call you in a few days to ask for help solving their case. Which is completely different from what happens in the light novel but I’ll spare you the details.”

“Interesting, so then you already know what they're going to ask and how to solve their case.”

“Technically yes, but I’m not sure how much of my actions will alter events in the future so I’d rather not say anything until the time comes.”

“Let me get this straight, you already know what’s going to happen and you’re just going to watch everything play out as it should, that’s so lame. How boring.”

You let Ranpo roast you for your decisions to stay out of the plot. At one point he scoffed at you saying that it was no wonder even though he ruined the book’s ending you still wouldn’t mind reading it. Eventually he started playing a new game where he would try to guess events that happen in the future but you didn’t tell them when they would take place. You also weren’t entirely telling the truth about some of them either but it was not like he was guessing important plot things. It was mostly ridiculous things, like side story tidbits that would happen in “Bungo Stray Dogs Wan” This seemed to keep him entertained for a while but eventually he got bored of that too. Luckily you arrived at the station before he could come up with another game. Although he put you to work immediately wanting you to fetch him more snacks and ramune. You almost regret making the offer.

In the end it would all be worth it to keep your cover with Dazai. On the next train Ranpo was too enthralled with his sugar haul to pay attention to you so your mind wandered to a certain waste of bandages. You had taken out a notepad to scribble and doodle on to pass the time. You lied to Ranpo earlier about him being your favorite character. It was Dazai. You might be a little too into liking the stupid brunette but honestly you just wanted him to be happy, to finally feel loved without thinking he doesn’t deserve it. You must have had a dreamy look on your face or something because Ranpo looked at you with disgust. “Don’t tell me you have a crush on Dazai, that’s just gross.”

You tilted your head at him “Huh?” He pointed at what you were drawing. You had drawn a collection of chibi Dazai’s all over the page. Oops you didn’t realize what you were doing. “Oh yeah, ew gross.” You tear the page out and crumple it up. Throwing it away at the first opportunity to destroy the evidence.

He laughed at your actions but didn't say anything else. When you finally arrived in Kyushu they had an escort waiting for you. Apparently your client had set up accommodations for you both. You were going to meet with them tomorrow once you’ve had time to settle overnight. During the brief you weren’t much help as expected and once Ranpo got started the most he needed you for was to fetch him refreshments as he looked over evidence. It didn't take that long to crack the case but the amount of paperwork that needed to be done was insane. All because he was from outside of Kyushu. No wonder it took three days total to finish up here. Two days were just traveling and one day of mostly paperwork. 

Just like you predicted on your last day when you and Ranpo were walking around he got the call from the others. He didn't bother asking you anything assuming your passive view on the situation means you wouldn’t help but you also think it was a matter of pride. He rolled his eyes at you because he had to do all the work and maybe that’s what it really came down too. He made you get more snacks than you could carry making you more of a pack mule than a gofer. When you finally got on the train he made sure to give you an earful that he'd let it slide this time but as your superior if you knew what happened next you were to report to him about it so he doesn't have to lift a finger. You're actually not sure how serious he was about the demand. All in all it was a successful mission. It was getting late by the time you made it back to Yokohama but you still checked back in at the agency to be updated on what went down when you were gone. Not like you didn’t already know but it was nice to be kept in the loop.

Making your way back to the dorms you realized that no one gave you the keys to your room. It should be ready by now. You assumed it's because Dazai was holding them hostage. At least since no one mentioned it you figured as much. They think you two were very close it seemed or knowing Dazai he probably outright asked to do the honors. You moved to knock on his door but the moment you did it swung open. He was standing there jingling the keys in front of you. A satisfied grin plastered on his face. "My darling (Y/N), what a pleasant surprise! Could you perhaps be looking for these?"

You rolled your eyes trying to grab for the keys but he pulled them away before you could touch them. “Yes, yes very funny but I’m not in the mood to play right now. I had to entertain Ranpo for several hours and would like to get some sleep.”

He smirked knowingly, "Hmm funny you should mention Ranpo, I ran into him earlier! I don't know, maybe care to explain this?" He held up a wrinkled sheet of paper. It was the one you drew all over on the train. Goddamnit Ranpo, why? "I thought I threw that away." You could practically hear Ranpo's smug tone saying,

 "I said I'd keep your secret but I never said which one."

That bastard probably went through the trash to have this blackmail. This was probably payback for making him do all the work, but he said he’d let it slide. You've been played. You needed to think of something quick "I mean to be fair I drew everyone but I had a hard time getting you to look right, like what is even going on with your hair. I bet it'd be easier drawing the slug’s weird ass hairstyle."

He shifted his weight back on to his other foot. "Is that so, then you won't mind if I keep this?" It seems bringing up Chuuya to change the subject wouldn't work a second time. Oh well, it was worth a shot.

"I already threw it in the trash. Be my guest." You grabbed the keys from him checking what number your room could be found at. Just before you left you pivoted to look at him "Oh one more thing. What did you plan to accomplish with that little stunt of yours?" Obviously it was a big question on your mind. Now that you didn’t get the inner monologues or the outsiders view you have no idea what the other could possibly be thinking.

"That was just to keep you on your toes my little belladonna~"

You huffed “I sincerely doubt that. Why would you go through all that trouble?”

“Aw, and here I thought you trusted me?” He dramatically clutched at his chest with a soft whimper as you laughed at his antics. “I can trust you implicitly but still question your motives. It’s not like I pledged my blind loyalty to you like some kind of a dog.” You were about to leave for real when you realized what episode you should be around. “Oh that reminds me, you plan on going out later right? You should say hi to your cute dog for me.” He narrowed his eyes with a slight frown “So you can see the future.” his tone went flat causing you to smile. 

“Fortune telling is not an exact science but sometimes it’s used to predict the future, yes. The least I could do is try to keep up with you, my little white snake.” 

You could hear Dazai stifle a laugh as you started walking away. It was proof that he got your joke. At least you were hoping that it was because he got your joke. You really tried but there wasn’t a lot of clever word play at your disposal. There was a plethora of double entendres for feminine but not a lot for masculine pronouns and you weren’t about to say the scientific name for white snakeroot, “Ageratina altissima” because it’s one hell of a mouth full. Essentially it meant something akin to “The unaging tallest” not as flattering as “beautiful lady” but it was still a poisonous plant and human descriptor so it was close enough to say you tried to put in the effort. Part of you thinks it was better than giving him any real compliment. You feel like Dazai likes the ambiguity that comes with the chase. So why not play the game?

[bogusbyron]

Show notes from my double show day on 8th august 2024. 2nd show was largely very similar so any extra notes i took on that show are added onto the emds of the relevant scenes. Enjoy!!!

(Ignore the amount of times i mention jordan)

1) Stew snapping the book shut in the prologue real sharp will always make me giggle

2) fun little stolen time pause before stew delivers "do not forget me", makes it short and snappy (SHOW 2: stew threw the yellow slip so jvj would have to go collect it.)

3) valvert stare-down before javert's exit. Okay

4)  at this point i wrote "can't find harry. Worried" because i was scanning the ensemble for harry lake and he WASNT THERE mad as hell

5) verry good low note on "dirt beaneath" in the prologue .. milan❤ (SHOW 2: in that little bit when he steals the coin from the child they messed that the hell up girl you caught jackshit)

6) understudy bishop! Every other time ive been it was Adam Pearce . I think i prefer him but the u/s had a really nice rich voicr which i fw , not quite as deep as adam but i liked him. He was a lot more stern & firm as bishop, with bits like "remember this"  and "passion" being quite harsh.

7) valjean wincing when the bishop helps him stand (SHOW 2: when talking to the policeman after the robbery, valjean shakes his head at the bishop who then nods back at him. Heartbreakinf ohmy gyat)

8) "my life was a war" line being half-spoken, in a very distressed manner... quite liked that. Also he sobbed a bit after "allow this man" which got me in the feels.. let valjean cry 2024 (SHOW 2: harsh on "hate" in I had come to hate the world)

9) higher note on  "god above" which scratched the brain

10) jesus christ milan can hold a note . The whole "eye for an eye" crescendo drives me batty and milan does not disappoint

11) swallowed before "he told me that i have a soul" not sure if that was intentional like at all but considering his nervous delivery on future lines like "ill escape now" i thought it fitting

12) ENSEMBLE TIME🗣 tom is so hard NOT to spot, ginger ass hair. And also during At The End Of The Day he was hunched and staggering dramatically which made me giggle. Also bonnie langford spotted leftmost factory woman. Not important but i saw her. Also jordan was one of the workers and he cheers on the fight between fantine and the other woman but as soon as he sees valjean comes down the stairs he hurriedly goes back to looking busy writing at the desk. Again i giggled .

13) idk if its just me being stupid but katie's wig lookee different to how i remember it last time did she get a new one. ⁉️⁉️

14) "when i was young and unafraid" almost spoken.  Ate🗣

15) THE BRASS ON THE  I DREAMED A DREAM CRESCENDO UUUUGGGHHHHHHHHHH I ALWAUS GET GOOSEBUMPS ON "SHAME" UEGGGGHHH  goosebumps also on "i had a dream life would be"  katie's voice ao good ans clear ill go nuts

16)  i think jordan was the first  dude in lovely ladies  and he also got his arse  tapped by one of them so that was fun . It was harry lake last time but he really got his arse slapped like he stumbled offstage and everything

16) the woman with the hat in lovely ladies i forgot her actress' name but i LOVED her voice . I gotta know if she understudies anyone cause wowzer.

17) bambatabois was pissed as hell he was screaming his head off like a toddler

18) here i wrote "JORDAN POLICEMAN ON DA STAIRS🔥🔥🔥" handwrote the fire emojis and everything. He was playing one of the policemen and he climbed the stairs. I liked that

19) little fantine sob after javert says "i have heard such protestations" which BROKE my heart ohmy gah. Also katie always  eats the crescendo on "you let your foreman send me away"  that whole bit drives me crazy the music and strings bruh ohmy

20) javert's "monsieur le maire"  very curt and sharp almost a hiss which i dont think ive delivered like that before ? Looove snappy javert

21) like when i saw stew & milan on the 14th they have homo moment at the cart when javert holds valjeans bicep for far too long and his voice even goes up higher on "a memory stirs" as he stares into his eyes for Way too long

22) low note on "comes to court" which scratched the brain

23) valjean snatching his coat from javert LMFOAOAOO

24) his whole mini-monologue was so funny cause he was REALLY pronouncing his "k"s so it was just like  traCK🗣ed him down through thICK🗣 and thin. And to maK🗣e the matter certain theres the brand upon his sK🗣in. He will bend. He will breaK🗣 this time there is no mistaK🗣e

25) slight pauses between the last "i am damned" in who am i like  I. Am. Damned

26) i feel like milan is a lot more determined and deliberate and sure of himself as compared to chris' much softer and "mature"? valjean. Which i find interesting

27) katie somehow so good at singing even when "frail"  helloooooooo shes actually cracked  Get out

28) valjean so soft with fantine though  godbless she makes my heart ache. He had her face against her cheek which i thought sweet

29) CONFRONTATION SLIDE  HIIIIIIIT🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣 GO STEWART

30) Valjean scoffing before "men like you can never change" made me giggle hes so sick of his shit

31) gay as fuck fight. Will never get over stewart's insane gagging coughing and whimpering when hes thrown to the ground after being strangled. What the hell. I have a slur to say (SHOW 2: as javert was knelt down in front of valjean (🧐), when he pulled back his fist to fight back it looked like he was about to punch valjean in the balls but luckily valjean knocked him oit before he could do this)

32) BONNIE LANGFORD🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣 shes really witchy as mme thenardier kind of obsessed. I like her a lot . Her naturally high pitched voice creates a very interestinf tone when singing as mme thenardier which i LOOOOVE

33) when cosette asks her not to be sent out alone she kind of like steps back almost like shes afraid of cosette . Dont know whether this was fear or her being taken aback that cosette would reply but still made me laugh

34) JOOOOORDDAAAAAANN🗣🗣🗣 FUCK YALL KNOW ABOUT THE DUDE IN THE RED JACKET , hes the one who shouts  "over here landlord" or some shir and "this place has gone to hell" before the song properly starts. The WHOLE song he was such a delight to watch, hes so camp and did the gayest of walks and dances and whatever the fuck , ohmy god he was so funny . If anyone goes to see the show soon and jordans ensemble please watch our for him in master of the house, tall bloke in the hat and red jacket. You cant miss him hes camp as hell. Im obsessed with him deeply and i wish i couldve watched master of the house on repeat PURELY so i could see the bloke in the red jacket. (SHOW 2: he did a kind of silly gay walk in which he did the wallace (like from wallace and gromit) hands) Here are some doodles i did of him:

35) tom was on as thenardier BTW (ginger thenardier gang) i like the way he shakes his epaulettes on "content to be". I loved tom & bonnie's rapport as the thenardiers too, so good . Tomardier on top . They were dancing together and shit during the  chorus they were fun. Apparently thenardier put mme thenardier in a headlock at some point as well which is funny

36) bonnie did a little r roll on "regular voltaire". Not impoerant at all but i liked it. Also did a low note on "master and a half" which i also liked

37) kept the bit where mme thenardier says "where the fu" before realising valjean is there . And the bit where she sprays perfume up her skirt. Always a good gag (cause like i get it)

38) bonnie's pretending to be worriwd abt cosette was so good . Her comedy acting genuinely endearing and im hype

39) tom, like last time i saw him, goes really high pitched on "like our own, monsieur" which is SO funny god i love tomardier

40) on "treacherous people about" they kind of advance on valjean but then immediately cower away when he stands up to challenge them LMFAOAO

41) marius appears. Jac yarrow has a  GREAT voice , but Is he better than harry lake ? 🤫 maybe im just biased . Harrius sweep

42) jordan as claquesous (which is the only character of his that gets a name) is so funny . Hes swinging around his little corner of the set a lot . Swinging from the beams and shit. I do not  blame him id do the same

43) Ok first of all yaz eponine was AMAZING  her "ITS JAVERT!" is so chilling. Shes awesome godbless WHAT  a voice. Javert also keeping it curt and snappy and hissing "square"  in Another brawl in the square. Hilarious

44) i love the way tomardier tries to escape being held by the policemen on "HE'S ---! THE ONE YOU SHOULD  ARREST!" it always makes me laugh. Also voice crack on "chest" in Brand upon his chest. The way he and bonnie strut offstage after being freed is SO funny

45) OK TIME FOR THE STARS INFLECTION NOTES.  Sharp & curt on "there" which i dont usually hear. Soft on "fugitive". Pronounced "god" like  god-uh which was funny. Soft on "yield". Slight stolen time hold on "mine" ("is the way of the lord" as a result came out sharper). Soft on "scarce" rather than the usual hiss i hear. Dribbling a bit . Growled on "returns". VERY clear note on "bars". Sounded a bit like he struggled with "then" on Until then, but delivered as usual on the final Stars. Hoo boy go stew (2ND SHOW: only one i got was "exasperated "Always"" on  And is always the same. I cannot remember what i meant by this but usually my inflection notes are somewhat accurate so let ur imaginaton run wild)

46) for some reason i noted how gavroche had really long eyelashes. I have no idea if i was just seeing things or what but yeah

47) jac has really solid vibrato honestly . His voice is GREAT . I will refrain from comparing him to harry cause i think we all know how much i like him already . But i have things to say .

48) JORDAN UNNAMED STUDENT NO1 WITH THE GLASSES 😭😭😭😭😭😭 half moon glasses he ate that. Cafe scene started off with him arguing with enjolras which i thought funny. He seemed really prim and bitchy with i loooved, dont ask me what anyone else was doing for this scene cause my eyes did not leave him

49) grantaire shouting *YOU* talk of battles to be  won  while pointinf at enjolras made me giggle

50) jordan scoffing off to the side @ grantaire  as he starts playing catch with his bottle. Im obsessed with him. Maybe id be a les amis fan if he was there. Also he's the one who chimes in "OUR WORLD !🗣" so whatever

51) grantaire spinning around across the stage on "red" during marius' verse

52) jordan did NOT need to stand on that  chair at the red & black crescendo girl you are tall Enough

53) enjolras did a silly little "HA-HA!!" I think after "blaze in their eyes"

54) jordan helping move the big staircase setpiece during do you hear the people sing... hashtag stagehands represent BIG UP STAGE MANAGEMENT🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣💥

55) Lulu may not have my favourite voice ever but she is cute as  cosette i cannot  lie she does little toe bounces every now and then i like that .

56) milan had a little stray loose hair that fell over his face and i couldnt take my eyes off it

57) jac quite harsh on the "burst" in She has burst like the music which was fire. Spit yo shit marius

58) yaz has SUCH  powerful voice it was always so shocking everytime she sang GET HER ON PRINCIPAL NEEOOOWWW!!!!!!

59) marius did a little awkward ass wave to cosette after she comes out on the balcony to see her, like he just lifts his hand up a little, DIDNT EVEN SMILE? just ✋😦 looking slightly startled. So good. He also did a deep ass bow to her when she comes down which made me giggle

60) so jordan had like, a stick  as a weapon as claquesous in the attack on rue plumet and as he runs onstage he kinda fumbled with it. Whether this was intentional or not i dont know but regardless yes i laughed. (2ND SHOW: thenardier tries to get up onto the balcony twice, instead of the usual once. The first time, claquesous gets down on hands and knees like a stool. Thenardier steps on him and claquesous immediately collapses under the weight.)

61) i dont seem to remember this happening in other shows  does thenardier always hit eponine after "you'll scream alright"? Or am i insane. Because he did this show (2ND SHOW: marius blows a kiss through the fence to cosette before he runs off.)

62) YAZ DURING ONE DAY MORE BEUHHHH ohmy days.... so sosososoop good so strong... djavan also as usual strong, the way his voice always rips through the theatre is just amazing godbless (2ND SHOW: bonnie sticking her leg up in the air as she's carted off.)

63) JAVERT IN UNIFORM.......... WHERE THE FUCK IS BAKER BOY.......

ACT 2

64) Grantaire was kinda creeping up behind enjolras for whatever reason at some point. Was funny as hell

65) MILAN  LIKE PAUSES AND PULLS A FACE WHEN HES READING THE LETTER FROM MARIUS TO COSETTE BEFORE HE READS THE WORD "LOVE" WHICH REALLY MADE THE THEATRE GIGGLE 

66) Yaz was so delightfully gentle as Eponine i liked it . Made her powerful voice a lot more standout for me . As for on my own inflection: short on "silver" in Shines like silver. The string pickup as it builds up to the crescendo on "and i know its only in my mind" is always insane ohhumy gyat. Harsh on "the trees" in the trees are bare and everywhere. Harsh and almost spoken on the final "without me". The last crescendo was utterly gorgeous . Yaz eat yuor heart out❤

67) on jod theres usually fog for the barricade reveal. No fog this show. Disappointing..  i love fog

68) army general's bit .. as usual harsh on "you" which i like but i think he skipped a beat . Didmt note where but i remember there being a missed beat and it was a bit fast (2ND SHOW: this might have been for the 2nd attack but regardless, when theyre shouted to get down, jordan's student who was way downstage (audience) left he almost fell over when he went to kneel down . Very clumsy job there boss. Obsessed)

69) stew's baker boy matches jordan's now... last time i saw stew he was in brown. Hes in the green/red now ‼️⁉️

70) yaz's eponine seemed content to submit herseld and die in marius' arms which was so heartbreaking . The key up. Also voice break on "her name was" which made me want to punch a wall

71) gavroche hands marius eponines hat :-(((((

72) i think milan was struggling to get off the barricade he almost stumbled and had to be helped down ajdhdifhd

73) javert just kinda admitting defeat and slumping to his knees with a haunted look in his eyes ❤ getting his lapels grabbed until "youre free" will always fuck hard as well. Theway hes grabbing onto valjeans wrists though I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE (2ND SHOW: during drink with me milan and jordan were off to the side next to each other chatting away. Jvj starts to chug whatevers in his cup. Jordan goes to take the cup from him but jvj turns away so that he cant take it. Jvj alcoholism era. Additionally jvj puts his arm around jordan's character just before the final battle.... ouff... Here are some sketches i did of them:)

73) milan's vocal range is sooogood. His whole Bring Him Home just scrumptious. Plus the crescendo on the strings UGGHHHHHHH. It SOUNDED like he struggled a tad on that final "him" but Home came out GREAT ... godbless

74) final attack. I noticed jordan's student wedged away in the crevice to the (audience) left and everytime hed fire his gun hed turn away and scrunch his face up. Obsessed. I did NOT see where he died though. This tells me he did not actually die and hes alive and well❤

75) javert kissing the cross over gavroche 😔😔😔😔😔😔😔 (i THINK valjean does this too earlier? Possibly he did this in the 2nd show)

76) tomardier holding the dead body's jaw and making it say "breath away from hell" in a stupid voice". He also did a silly posh voice on "thankyou sir im in your debt". "And god in his heaven" almost spoken i think. I alsofind it funny how he kicked over marius' body and stepped up on his arse

77) Javert seemed to almost miss & run past valjean ans marius LMFAAOOO i had a little giggle.

78) Jvj looking so sick of javert will never not be funny hes sooooo fucking done

79) I very much liked the slight distant stare like a moment of reflection before he sings "take him valjean!" adds a little to that bit i think. Yum. Thanks stewart

80) Soliloquy inflections.  "Who is this man/what sort of devil is he" GROWLED rather thsn the usual scream he does . Liked it i cant lie. He was quite shaky especially on "caught in a trap" which was LAAAVELY...... spat "back" in Gave me back my life . Harsh  on "mocked" which is always delightful to hear, a classic . Absolutely delectable tone shift  and becoming quite weak and almost croaky for "how can i now allow this man". He was even hoarse for "gave me freedom", and weak on "die as well". As per the Stewart Clarke Special there was a tremendous glob of spit escaping him on "sins"  in Shall his sins be forgiven . Absolutely delightful voice crack on "begin to doubt". Another glob of spit in "lost in shadow".  SUPER shaky "i am reaching". Yet another glob of spit on "stars are black". Low note on "escape now". And, as per, hit that shit (2ND SHOW: voice crack on "he" in "devil is he". Whimpered "gave me my life". Snarled "it was his right". Another glob of spit on "sins" like the first show. Whimpered "and must i now". Another glob of spit for "escape now".)

81) anyway , empty chairs time. Quite short on "on and on". Lovely and rich delivery of "never came" (thats a hard note to hit comfortably!).. again jac's vibrato was very notable to me !!!!! He delivered "phantom shadows" very upset like a half-sob. The following "empty chairs" very harsh. SHOUTED "don't ask me".

82) i liked his distant & haunted stare during every day ughhh mawius...

83) lulu as usual hitting those insane notes Go girl!!!

84) i really liked milan's acting during the confession - i personally preferred chris' performance but both absolutely stellar. His expressions were wonderfully desperate

85) i think someone (djavan?) almost missed their cue as ome of the servants during the wedding i saw them jogging onstage to help with the table LMFAOAOOO

86) if you didnt know already, bonnie langford does the splits when she curtsies when she appears. She also seems more interested in the drinks djavan servant has to offer than the plan to scam marius . She keeps trying to set thenardier right and then tiptoes off to take a swig of wine. Giggled

87) when marius tells them to go away thenardier turns around and says "for god's sake" LMFOAOAOAO

88) after thenadier is punched by marius (does his classic 270° spin) he falls over and gets stuck on his back, flailing around like a tortoise while mme thenardier cackles like a witch

89) they do the littlw pointy toe gay dance together hashtag true love (2ND SHOW: tomardier blowing a kiss at the lord.)

90) milan during the epilogue always heartbreaking he is wonderfully frail. Absolutely lovely  gentle low notes . He was almost sobbing on "on this page" which made me want to start killing. Sniffed before "its a story". Very shaky voice on "to my keeping". ... suicide tomorroeeeeee

BONUS) since i had nothing more to note down in the epilogue i drafted the next chapter of my fanfiction.

[hurricane105]

Trick or treat!

You get a treat! I wrote a couple scenes for an EOW fic for the Zelink Community this or that challenge, but I'm not going to have time to write it (Two Different Worlds is taking all my writing time). So you get the scenes instead! This is set post rift but Tri's still hanging around - Zelda's a girly girl and Link is a gardener.

Zelda bumped Tri with her elbow, just as Link disappeared out the door. "See? See? I think he likes me."

Tri didn't have eyes, but Zelda could feel them rolling their eyes anyway. "How could you know? He didn't say anything about it. Unless I missed something when he was talking about the monsters in Hyrule Field."

"You need to observe better. Didn't you see how shy he looked?"

"He's Link, he's always shy. Except when monsters are involved, I suppose." Tri says.

"It's okay, I'll teach you how people work. Not your fault you haven't been in Hyrule in …how long? Ever, is that right?"

Tri sighed. "Today, the Goddesses have chosen to teach me patience."

"I should up my flirting game. You know, let him know I'm interested."

"Even I could see that, and I was very deliberately not looking."

Zelda ignored them. "Maybe I can get the soldiers to tell me some pickup lines. Link won't know what hit him."

—

Tri looked at the paper on the vanity in front of Zelda. "What are you doing?"

"Getting ready for the day. Oh, the paper? I'm writing down things to say to Link next time I see him."

"'I'd be be-rift without you? You can pick up my wand anytime? Does your left eye hurt, you've been looking right all day? Do you have a sunburn, or are you always this hot?' Zelda, these are terrible."

"I like the last one, I think I'll use it."

"I heard Minister Lefte use the eye one on General Wright the other day."

"That's where I got the idea! You know, when I was a kid I thought she was a bit of a stick in the mud, but she's actually pretty cool."

Tri examined the jars on Zelda's desk. "Today's a body glitter day, I see."

"Every day is a body glitter day."

"And hair tinsel?"

"I always have hair tinsel. It's part of my look."

"What is a 'look?'"

"You know. How you look every day."

"Then whatever you're wearing is part of your look by default."

Zelda folded the paper neatly and stood up. "Part of my identity, then. It's how I prefer to look."

"Well, my identity is to not look like I rolled in glitter."

"You might like it if you tried it."

Tri hovered in place, and Zelda felt as though Tri was giving her a sardonic look. "No thanks."

"What are you doing today?" Zelda asked, to change the subject.

"Following you and observing, the way I always do."

Zelda stopped at the door, her hand on the knob. "If things go the way I hope they will, I would like it if you didn't observe quite so closely."

"Six inches back. Got it."

"No, farther back than that. And don't look."

"When?"

"I don't know, it'll depend on when I see Link and what he says."

"Why don't you just tell him how you feel?"

"That's what I'm going to do. That's why I want privacy."

"Privacy." Tri did the eye-rolling thing again. "You humans make everything so complicated."

—

"Someone's here to see you, Princess," Impa said, poking her head around the door to the throne room.

Zelda left the conversation between her father, Minister Lefte, and General Wright that had started as a discussion on building codes and had somehow devolved into a 'back in my day' anecdote exchange. She rubbed her temples where her crown sat. What she really wanted was a bath, a book, and- "Link?!"

"Um. Hi, Princess."

He didn't seem to be on a mission. Was he here just to see her? Would he travel half a day one way for that?

"Hi. It's nice to see you."

"You too."

Then they smiled awkwardly at each other.

How did the line go? Oh yes. Zelda cleared her throat. "There's the door. Would you like to go out?"

"Sure."

Just like that? It was that easy? She would have asked him out way earlier if she had known it would be that simple. She pointed at Tri, then pointed back at the room, and Tri bobbed back, looking as disappointed as something without eyes or a mouth could look.

They walked to the door, and Link opened it for her, letting them both out into the afternoon sunlight. Zelda smiled up at the sky. Nothing could go wrong now. No rifts, everyone was back to their normal selves, and Link had said yes! Today was a perfect day.

They walked slowly through the garden. Zelda kept waiting for Link to hold her hand, to say something, do anything, but he seemed content to just walk with her, occasionally grabbing some flowers and braiding them together.

If his hands weren't busy she'd grab his hand herself. "What are you making?"

"A flower crown. They were super popular in Suthorn a few years ago." He studied the braid in his hands. "It needs some blue, I think."

"There's some over there," Zelda said, pointing. "What kind are they?"

Link followed her finger. "Hydrangeas. What's interesting about those is that the color of flower depends on the acidity of the dirt. I'm guessing the gardener brings in sulfur to get this color."

Zelda touched a petal with her finger, making it bob. "What other colors do they come in?"

"Pink if the gardener adds limestone. Purple if it's balanced. Other kinds of hydrangeas are white and don't change color."

"That's fascinating. Do other plants do that too?"

"Nope. Just hydrangeas. They're special." He smiled at her in a way that had her smiling back, before carefully slicing the stem of a flower.

Well, he could have said, 'special like you,' but maybe he was focused on making the flower crown. He certainly seemed to be now.

"I'm visiting Hebra for a week," Zelda said.

His hands paused for such a short moment that Zelda wasn't sure she had even seen it. "That's quite the trip."

"Yes, but there's the temple up there that I'd like to examine. And Conde said his brother's back - I want to meet him."

"It sounds like fun," Link said, twisting the ends of his flower braid together into a circle.

On one hand, maybe she was moving too quickly. On the other hand, no time like the present. "Want to come with me?"

Link jerked, dropping the flower crown. "To Hebra?"

"Yeah, it'll be great! You can meet Conde, Impa won't worry about me traveling alone, we can visit the hot springs - it'll be fabulous!"

"Is that okay?"

"Why wouldn't it be?" He didn't seem as enthusiastic as she would hope, but maybe he just needed time to warm up to the idea. "If you need time to think about it-"

"No, no, I want to come," he said hastily.

[o-uncle-newt]

Yes, this is another rant about the Petherbridge/Walter Wimsey adaptation

Okay, to motivate myself to do other less fun things that are unfortunately on my to do list (which I am, of course, abandoning in order to write this) I've been skimming the series in small chunks today and I just got to the penultimate Peter/Harriet scene in Strong Poison- when Peter reveals to Harriet that Urquhart will be arrested and she will be freed.

In some ways it's a great scene- as are most of the Peter-Harriet scenes in Strong Poison (the final scene this episode is, of course, a travesty, but we'll get back to that). They're fun, they either are taken from the book or are pretty faithful to the characters/this imagining of them, and they're of course extremely well acted by our lead duo. As I've mentioned before, one of my favorite scenes in the show is one that was invented by the episode writer- the one where Harriet tells Peter "it would be awful if you were funny all the time, wouldn't it." It's just an excellent way of distilling a bunch of the book's subtext into one relatively short yet extremely effective scene, and in a way it shows that the creative team would seem to have had a really good understanding of the books.

So I rewatched this final jail scene, which I usually like, and which I'm overall entertained by- and realized that a scene that I'd largely enjoyed in previous viewings actually contains a sequence that basically sets up all of the problems with the later episodes. Like, maybe one or two of them are unrelated (their removing Lord Saint-George from Gaudy Night was a travesty in its own right) but most of them can be traced pretty directly back here:

To quote:

Peter: You are the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with, how else could I have behaved? Harriet: You're such a romantic, Peter. A sort of latter-day knight errant, searching for opportunities to perform deeds of valor, rescue damsels in distress- Peter (interrupting): What's wrong with that?

She goes on, of course, to continue to reject him, saying she's not ready for "another affair" (to which he corrects her- "marriage!"- and she says, in a line that I loved enough to put in a fic that I wrote, "marriage, affair, what's the difference- it's supposed to be about love, isn't it?") and that she's too tired to think and decide. But she never says what's wrong with the above description of Peter.

Now, there are two options when you have a scene like this. Either you treat it as a valid description of, and therefore a foreshadowing of, the main character and his upcoming arc in the story, OR you bring it up in order to subvert it. The show decides, for some reason, to do the former, and the book, of course, does something very different.

To be clear, in the book as well as the show this final jailhouse scene makes clear that Harriet will not marry Peter. And I actually think, interestingly, that it's for a similar reason, though in the book it's not explicitly stated- it's because Harriet doesn't love Peter. But the underlying issues are totally different, because in the show, Harriet refuses Peter's offer of either marriage or an affair because she's not ready and because she doesn't love him. But in the book, Harriet is willing to be Peter's mistress, but not to marry him- she says, because it will allow him to drop her whenever he tires of her. And between this and Gaudy Night, we get the idea that Harriet feels enough of a sense of obligation toward Peter that she will be with him out of that obligation, even though she doesn't love him.

I think it's a combination of these two things that sets the show on the wrong path- maybe because the right path would be unfilmable, but it still was wrong:

In the show, they decide that Harriet is only not with Peter at the end because she doesn't love him. They're compatible and he loves her, but she won't just fall into his arms just because he's rich and saved her life and she likes him, because she's a Strong and Independent Woman. That's what makes her, to the creators, a strong character- the classic "damsel in distress" usually marries the "knight errant," but Harriet won't without love- and having her go from liking him to loving him is the journey that she goes on over the course of the series.

In the book, Harriet is not with Peter at the end because Peter (finally!) recognizes that he's been badgering her and if she ended up with him it wouldn't be out of love but out of exhaustion and indebtedness, and he (selfishly, in a way) wants her to be with him because she loves him. Over the course of Have His Carcase, she realizes about herself that she felt that kind of indebted way to him and is disgusted with herself (and extends those feelings on to him, whether justly or not), with those emotions battling her growing actual attraction to him. The thing that makes her a strong character is that she only wants Peter on her own terms. She only wants him if she feels equal to him, not indebted to him, and (of course) in love with him. She feels the latter, of course, long before she feels the former, even if it's hard for her to realize it. (And, of course, part of feeling equal with him is building up her own self-worth, which had been dragged to the gutter by her ordeal.)

Effectively, the book is saying- as any fan knows- "their relationship was set up for failure because we have two strong people who, due to their roles in a massive disaster situation, are in a no-win situation- one is compelled to share his feelings and the other is compelled to reject them."

The SHOW, on the other hand, is saying "Peter and Harriet are suited for each other- they met in the wrong situation, but that's not unsurmountable. The problem is that she doesn't love him yet, so in the next two books we see their pathway to getting there." As with so many romance-type stories they accept the knight errant and damsel framing, the one that Sayers immediately discarded after realizing how little it suited these two people, as a framework for the rest of the show without really questioning its suitability- and the knight errant is meant to be continuing to come after the girl! That's why there's that horrendous final scene in Strong Poison. That's why Have His Carcase and Gaudy Night have Peter running after and confessing to Harriet so often- she needs to fall in love with him, and the only way for that to happen is for him to keep being around her and for her to see how great he is. Her own personal journey of self-growth isn't much of a factor- what she really needs to do is to learn more about him, get used to him, appreciate him, come to terms with him, and ultimately give way to him. With enough banter* and one-sided devotion, they'll fall in love- it's the classic romantic formula.

*Admittedly it's pretty great banter!

And that's why, however good the fight scene in Have His Carcase is, it always feels somewhat jarring- because it's one of the few real relics of the book's version of their romance that remain in the show! It's the only part that contradicts the rest of the show's thesis, which is that with enough time the damsel WILL end up loving the knight errant because they're right for each other. It's the only part that conveys any tension beyond basic frustration on Peter's part. If nothing else, it's the only part that grapples with one of the reasons why she DOESN'T love him, which is that he's a living reminder of one of the worst times of her life. That's before you get to all of the power imbalance stuff... and it actually backfires, almost, because before that you just have Peter pursuing Harriet but after you have Peter pursuing Harriet despite all of the power imbalance stuff! And it's still telegraphed on the show as a good thing, or at least not a bad one! It reinforces how Harriet's arc really is to be pursued until she finally cracks by seeing how noble Peter truly is.

(Usual disclaimer that I didn't rewatch Gaudy Night before writing this as I don't want to do that to myself, so any mistakes I make as a result are unavoidable and I appreciate any corrections.)

According to the show, there's nothing wrong with being a knight errant saving a damsel, so why not show it? According to the book, there isn't anything wrong with being the knight errant, but there is something wrong with then wanting to marry the damsel, because any damsel who would want to be married under those "circs" is not the right damsel for the knight. Even if Harriet HAD loved Peter immediately, it wouldn't have mattered because the ensuing relationship would have been imbalanced and she'd have felt that keenly, whether because she'd have felt so indebted that she'd feel at his mercy or because she'd always see them in the roles that they'd had at their first meeting.

One of these is definitely a richer text than the other, and I know which one that is, however much I may love Petherbridge and Walter in the roles.