#((LIKE UHH OKAY THIS IS A LITTLE CONCERNING-))
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Kamukura with emotions doesn't make him weaker than before, just because he's in relationship with Makoto doesn't mean he's gone completely *soft*. He's only gone soft in just one angle, the rest is still pretty much still the same except now he perfers to rest his head on Makoto's lap than anything else that was already available for him to simply just lean his head against.
The first thing he feels when being around makoto isn't *love*, it's simply the same feeling he always felt which is *boredom*. And the second that came along wasn't the first thing mentioned, it's *interest* (from the form of the prespective of boring normalcy that differs his own) that slowly by time turned into *obsession* (realizing this whole thing is much better than when being stuck in the tight room in his lab) and by then began to be sticking around the guy instead of the other way around and it'll be a surprise to Makoto one day and to Makoto that will only be taken as an invitation to be closer. A progress.
All in all *love* will be the LAST THING appeared even AFTER they were in a relationship because it is something that Kamukura HAS to come in terms or accept himself, or realising too late to stop it cause he only accept to be "in a relationship" (with the entitlement of 'lovers' or 'partners' and everything) with Makoto simply in a way so Makoto can stay close to him (knowing the guy's unyielding loyalty and used that to his gain), because Makoto continues to make himself intriguing to Kamukura in his own boring, simple ways because Kamukura has grow to hate and berated normalcy of the untalented by his teachers and developed it through there. Plus he never gets to experience or learn a lot more of it other than the lab staffs' explanation of how "boring" it is and it's seem to also be the reason *he* became Kamukura in the first place as well.
(So the beggining of their relationship itself, the "love" part was one-sided. Kinda. In a way)
Sure it *is* boring. The whole "normal lifestyle" thing is sure sucked away his life source (if he even had one) and it's already just as he expected even when he lets Makoto around for at least a few days, he only let the guy around cause his luck is unexpected at most times but then of COURSE Makoto would use those times to shimmy his way into Kamukura's life. Shortly yet slowly. A very strange pace it is but it worked well with both of them.
His sickening optimistic, motivating nature to upbring Kamukura's gloomy, unmotivated one to pull him in the most boring of activities eventhough he had stated either directly or indirectly that those are, obviously, *boring*.
But Makoto's other traits that has first caught him just *slightly* off guard (which is. Rare and almost to never) was his undeterred determination to prove someone wrong (either in a morality sense in what was naively generally right). Perhaps he has been too assuming of Makoto's commonly pushover antics, or maybe Makoto's usual everyday and everytime genuine optimism has put his guard down just a bit that it made him passed by the fact that Makoto- no matter how positive and hopeful- *can* get mad or bothered if being triggered in certain ways. Certain ways as in if it involves someone else or views of things morally in a negative sense (the reaction made Makoto look more.. real. Something along that line).
Im also thinking how at some point, that *stubborn* determination that *always* butts in whenever Kamukura try to state or refuse. To try and always attempting to change his mind and at some point it led to another breaking point leading to the next change and that would be Kamukura- in his still usual bored tone yet out of character dialogue, said, in *annoyance*; "can you shut up." And doesn't THAT caught them BOTH off guard.
Silence followed when both were lost in their own thoughts in trying to process it before Makoto snapped out of it first to apologise for crossing the line and in promise to not do it again. Which, Kamukura is fine with but at the same time- "no" he would say, "keep talking". Cause sure, Kamukura has a fair share of being annoyed sometimes, but THIS is different, because just *how* can he be so easily annoyed over something so... *simple* as Makoto to be able to *blurted out* the moment of thought? It's something worth to explore more. To *experience*. Because it's new and when it's new, it's usually *interesting and unexpected* to someone like Kamukura.
And sometimes it's not just usually some new emotion just popped up at certain times, it's also the fact how constant it is of how the emotions he had experienced off kept *shifting*. He'd be bored then suddenly feeling intrigued in something then suddenly be slightly fluttery-ish? ('Amused' he noted) or suddenly feeling heavy in his chest ('sadness' he thought), heck, even the feeling of something clawing his insides when Makoto almost get a brick crushed his own head ('fear' he whispered to himself) then suddenly sometimes shifts back to being bored, then intrigued, then over and over in an out of order cycle. It either shift back to the same things or it develops something new.
It was never just one thing everyday just like how things are before meeting Makoto- like continuously be bored of everything and that's what makes things both overwhelming and underwhelming at the same time.
I also think that another thing that pulls Kamukura to Makoto is that just from Makoto, wanting to hang out and stick to him, to befriended him, with the payment only be *spending some time with Kamukura* and not to use him for his talents and abilities alone. Is one thing Kamukura unmanaged to just *understand* or fully grasp. In the end though he resolved by thinking that perhaps this is just a Makoto thing. That Makoto is being too good or cared too much of others in a way. But it does put Kamukura in a good "hm..." moment though.
I have a funny imagery that Kamukura just seem to be more often being put *slightly* off guard more by Makoto (wether intentionally or unintentionally which is usually the latter) than anyone else does. To which he be more on guard than he is before and to not jump to the most obvious conclusions or assumptions on some people because, of course, the Makoto situation and all. To which also means it made him statistically *more* dangerous than before (congrats Makoto! You made him more cautious or more thoughts in than usual of what was around him!).
His obsession in wanting to keep Makoto close to him by time will become apart of his own conciousness that *I* believe to be the case. Because after everything?? Everything that happened for the last few months?? Wether before or after being together (though I believe the moment they are together is the moment where the feeling became more hecticly stronger)?? It would only be obvious that he would, for once, *accidentally* (cause really, since when does being with Makoto Naegi means anything gone as planned?) Putting the obsession from wanting Naegi close because he is the first and often only source of interest for Kamukura's own bargained to wanting Makoto close because suddenly he was in too deep in the pit he had been *still* continuously dig himself in and finding that he doesn't *like* it when Makoto was out of reach.
(Going from trying to keep the guy around for selfish reasons by means to keep himself out of his usual bored state [cause let's face it, Kamukura isn't a good person, nor a bad one either, heck doesn't even attempted in search to at least *try* to quench his boredom just because he lacks any sort of motivation. But if the interesting thing were to suddenly presented dangling just in sight he WILL grab onto it tightly.], to obsessively trying to not get the guy lost out of his reach figuratively or metaphorically sense cause he *knows* that he will never *feels* something like this again, to feeling just *right* to have Makoto close to him and not letting go just because he doesn't *like* it)
I doubt Kamukura even realised the moment he had been *attached* to Makoto, simply because he had never experience emotions in the first place other than just knowing the basic theories to diagnose others in. And when he did, it's too late by then (it won't be him unable to escape Makoto. No, no, on the contrary, Makoto will be unable to escape *him*).
So anyways. Love isn't the priority to Kamukura since the very beggining in the start of their relationship, because the other foreign subjects that is emotions (twinging sadness, light amusement, flickering annoyance, poisonous jealousy, and dare he not admit the clawing fear) *are* the foundations that build his own *version* of what was the concept of 'Love' is.
Love is different to everyone afterall, so far what Kamukura has learned and see, if there was anything the same about all of it is that; love is a form of passion, and the connection of the bonds, it can be different from others, but Kamukura *doesn't* feel anything a lot WITH anyone else in general more than he is with Makoto. So essentially to him, it was different. It's not love that was viewed *generally* but it was his own version nonetheless.
This is just *my* insight of how I see Kamuegi *in* Kamukura's prespective. Cause he is my favorite character to write. You can do so many things to him in certain situations no matter how impossible it seem to try and not break his character. But that's the thing. You NEED to break certain characters, but as long as you didn't break the fundamental core of their characters then trust me, it's more of a scratch or a rather small crack on a ceramic vase than it looking all smashed up.
Sometimes you GOTTA make a scratch or heck, added something on it, without it losing it's shape or material as a ceramic vase, in order to make it slightly more jazzam get it? Or to make it work for the theme of the room you placed it in. (Not me using the vase metaphor for all of this)
#another funny imagery is that since Kamukura lacked human touch#makoto showing the wonders of doing cuddles#wrapping his arms around his back and everything#kinda like snuggling. screw it he *is* technically snuggling the guy#rubbing his head and face against the other's chest cause might as well enjoying it too in the meantime#and *this* is different than just a small pat and quick hug#that this isn't just some skin and skin contact with one another#there was something else behind this that he can't really point out to#cause duh it involves something as foreign (still) as *feelings*#this is one of the âoverwhelming and underwhelmingâ moment for Kamukura#and it is more sided to overwhelming but in a positive sense (probably)#well whatever it is. Makoto felt the other's body suddenly shaking ever so slightly as the arms wrapped around him#âuhh Kamukura. you okay..?���#âyou're kinda shaky..â and it *is* a little concerning for someone like Kamukura#but rest assured when he tilted his head a bit to look up#he can't really see Kamukura's face since the guy placed his chin on the heair below him#and was looking away to the side. but he can see how tense the posture is a bit#he was about to pull away cause he thought he overstep the other's boundaries or smth#but rest assured once again when Kamukura wrapped those now more slightly composed shaking arms tight around Naegi#and he subtly noticed the slight red ears that was left uncover from the black strands#and all Makoto can do is just sighs in worry bht relieved smile and buried much closer to the other without a word#and they stayed like that for probably halfway from the day#now it's one of the only thing in Kamukura's âfavoriteâ list now Makoto gotta bare with it#it's a win-win cause then Kamukura can keep Makoto close. metaporically AND *literally*#danganronpa#makoto naegi#izuru kamukura#kamuegi#lunardr thoughts
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went on a huge adventure today because i wanted a longer than usual hike and a longer than usual paddle because i am fit enough now that the standard i set while utterly malnourished and out of shape does not provide the amount of exertion that my body apparently craves. for whatever reason.
so i went to go do a hike that nearly fucking killed me dead last year thinking that would show me. alas it just plain sucked so i had the energy to spend 2.5 hours on the lake looking hot as fuck.
#cop rolled up on me when i was blowing up my paddleboard apparently a confused elderly gentleman had gone missing#but he was so concerned for me? because the water was so cold ? apparently 60f 15c#but it was in the high 80s f ~30c and i was like uhh okay. and he thought i was gonna die for whatever reason?#he was like 'well im happy i at least know youre out here' uh im not ?#i still had my clothes on so it had to be the infantalizing vulnerable little girl treatment#anyway it was definitely not that cold and whatever temperature it was was pleasant. and i didnt die.#my elf
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Nothing brings me closer to the edge of "huh maybe I do have a touch of the autism" than shopping
#anne speaks#as in i fucking DESPISE it unless it's specifically catered to me#i need to be warned about it in advance. i need to know what time we're going. ideally i need to know what time we're done#i have to mentally prepare myself and dedicate a specific amount of energy for the act in advance#and so help me gods if i bring my mum i will full on rage quit within two hours#she's one for 'oh this piece of clothing might be good for you' then holds up the least me thing in the world#or goes all 'uhh i dont know...' concerned if it either shows too much cleavage or is not neat and feminine enough#and then on top of that is like#okay but that costs money so how about we go to an extra store that you werent prepared for to see if they have the same thing but cheaper#you CANNOT add to my mental list of what im expecting im running FAST out of my prepped energy and i WILL start snapping at u#she asked what i would like for my bday and i was like 'well okay i do wanna refresh my wardrobe a little'#she asked what im thinking of style wise but like a) how do i say mum you cant buy me clothes without me feeling like a silicon valley wife#and b) how do i say 'i want butch i want gender i want playful i miss my theatre days i want artist i want boho'#anyway. i have now been convinced to go shopping with my sister who is a lot more tolerable bc she's young and hip and less scared to play#but im still like 'okay what time? okay give me a second to think if i want to go? i need to mentally adjust'#and my mum kept saying 'oh you can go then and after youll come back together' THATS NOT A TIME MOTHER#i need to know! when im going!! so i know how much time i have to mentally prepare#anyway. this is my essay on why shopping makes me autistic#there is Very Little that does this to me. usually i embrace chaos#but oh man. yeah no thanks#anyway fingers crossed everyone that i come back from town looking artsy and gender
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((Seriously just got like six (6) random ahh asks in my inbox out of the blue. WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE-/silly))
#((LIKE UHH OKAY THIS IS A LITTLE CONCERNING-))#((Like it's JUST six (6) asks why are you so lazy to answer them all Julie c'mon!!!))#((My used-to-being-inactive-and-having-an-empty-inbox ass is NOT used to this omg..))#Taking a Break from the Cafe // ooc
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La Regina
Happy Nation: A Series of Standalone Fics
Charles Leclerc x Schumacher!Reader
Summary: a girl raised at her fatherâs knee goes from rising star to princess to queen (or in which becoming a legend runs in the Schumacher family)
You bounce excitedly in the passenger seat of your papaâs car as he pulls into the parking lot of the karting track. At 5-years-old, youâre too young to race officially, but he promised to let you drive some practice laps after the scheduled competition today.
âRemember, Maus, listen closely to the instructors and stay safe out there,â Michael says, ruffling your hair affectionately before getting out.
You scramble out after him, having to jog to keep up with his long strides across the parking lot. You reach to take his hand, but freeze when a small crowd starts converging around your papa. Men in bright vests are rushing over, cameras flashing rapidly.
âWhoa, whatâs going on?â You ask, startled by the commotion.
Before Michael can respond, a curly-haired woman thrusts a baby into his arms. âOh my god, can you just hold her for one second? I need a picture!â
Your papa looks bewildered but graciously cradles the infant, giving an awkward smile as more and more people start shoving pieces of paper and pens in front of him.
âExcuse me, please, I have my daughter with me today,â he tries saying over the chaos, but no one is listening.
You shrink back, overwhelmed by the pushing crowd and flurry of voices pleading for autographs and photos. Where did all these people come from? This has never happened before when youâve gone karting with your papa.
Sensing your unease, Michael gently passes the baby back to its mother and kneels down in front of you. âHey, itâs okay, Maus. Why donât you wait for me over there?â He gestures to a bench off to the side.
Part of you wants to cling to him, scared of all the strangers crowding around so aggressively. But you also donât want him to have to worry about you on top of everything else. You nod bravely and make your way through the throng to the little bench, watching apprehensively as your papa tries politely handling the requests.
After what feels like forever, the crowd finally starts dispersing, though a few linger behind like stubborn cats begging for scraps. Michael shakes the last few hands and accepts some papers to sign before gratefully escaping over to you.
âIâm so sorry about that, Maus,â he says, looking apologetic as he plops down on the bench. âI didnât expect such a scene on whatâs supposed to be our fun day.â
âItâs okay, Papa.â You lean against his side, still a bit rattled but comforted by his familiar warmth. âWho were all those people? Why did they want your ⌠uhh âŚâ You canât quite remember the word for the scribbles people ask famous people for.
âAutographs,â Michael supplies with an amused chuckle, wrapping an arm around you. âAnd they wanted photos too, I suppose. Iâm ⌠well, Iâm quite a famous racecar driver.â
You cock your head, trying to process this concept of your papa being some kind of celebrity. As far as youâre concerned, heâs just your goofy, loving dad who takes you karting and makes the silliest voices for all your stuffed animals at home.
âReally? Like the famous famous people on TV?â Youâve seen the paparazzi swarming the actors and musicians during awards shows, but youâd never imagined that could happen to your own papa.
Michael nods, drawing you closer with a squeeze. âYes, somewhat like that, though itâs a bit excessive at a small karting event.â He laughs again and brushes some of your wayward hair from your face. âBut youâre right, to you Iâm just Papa. I donât expect anything more from my favorite Maus.â
You beam at the affectionate nickname, all the earlier stress melting away. Who cares if strangers want your papaâs autograph or photos? All that matters is you two spending the day together like always.
âCan we go get our karts now?â You ask eagerly, bouncing a little on the bench. âI want to show you how fast I can go!â
âOf course!â Michael jumps up and scoops you into his arms with a playful growl, making you shriek giddily. âMy little speed demon is going to leave me in the dust.â
He swings you up onto his shoulders and you cling on tightly as he strides toward the pit area. A few more people spot him and make a move closer with cameras and sharpies extended, but seem to think better of it when they see you perched up high.
The two of you spend the next couple hours karting together, trading places taking warm up laps and cheering each other on. At one point, a young attendant working the pit area approaches Michael somewhat nervously.
âUm, excuse me, Mr. Schumacher?â Heâs clutching a crumpled baseball cap in one hand, ducking his head shyly. âIâm just such a huge fan, would you mind taking a photo and signing this for me after your session?â
Your papa smiles kindly at the young man and takes the cap. âNot at all, no problem.â As the attendant walks away, looking elated, Michael turns to you with a wink. âSee? Thatâs how you politely ask for an autograph.â
You giggle and mime zipping your lips. âDonât worry, Papa, I wonât let the fame go to my head when Iâm a famous racecar driver too someday.â
Scooping you up once more, Michael presses a sloppy kiss to your cheek. âThatâs my girl. Now, last few laps â letâs see who can go the fastest without ending up in the grass!â
As evening starts falling, the two of you make your way back through the now nearly deserted lot after returning the rental karts. Most of the other karters have cleared out, leaving just you two strolling unhurriedly back to the car.
âWell Maus, despite the, uh, overexcited fans, Iâd call this day a success,â Michael says, swinging your joined hands idly. âWe both had our fun on the track, and I think you handled that crowd back there like a champ.â
You smile up at him, still so proud just to be his daughter. âI donât care about all those other people, papa. As long as I have you, thatâs all I need.â
Stopping beside the car, Michael crouches down and cups your face in his calloused racing palms, looking at you with such fierce adoration.
âMaus, you have me, always. No matter what happens out there,â he gestures vaguely at the empty track, âWhen Iâm with you, Iâm just Papa. My greatest accomplishment, my biggest award, is being your father. Verstanden?â
You launch yourself into his arms, hugging as tightly as you can. âVerstanden, Papa. I love you.â
âIch liebe dich mehr, Maus,â he murmurs, pressing his cheek to your hair. âNow, what do you say we go get some victory ice cream?â
As the two of you climb into the car, you canât keep the smile off your face, practically glowing with contentment. Sure, maybe your papa is some big famous racecar driver that everybody wants a piece of. But really, heâs just your papa â and youâre his whole world.
***
The ringing of the house phone cuts through the tense silence like a knife. You shrink further into the couch cushions as your mother rushes to answer it, shoulders visibly taut.
âHello? No, I cannot make any comment at this time. Yes, I understand there is interest but-â Corinna breaks off, rubbing her temples wearily. âPlease respect our privacy as a family right now. Thank you.â
She hangs up and leans against the wall, eyes slipping shut for a brief moment. Before she can even draw a full breath, the phone rings again, shrill and insistent. With a muffled curse, your mother snatches it up.
âWhat? I told you, I cannot give any statements! This is a private matter. How did you even get this number?â
You watch apprehensively as she responds again, her voice rising in distress. In the days since your papaâs skiing accident, it seems like the entire world has been hounding your family, desperate for any scrap of information.
On the TV across the room, the endless cycle of news reports drones on lowly. Images of your papaâs broken, still body being rushed from the slopes into a helicopter. Flashing advancer texts speculating on his chances of recovery from the traumatic head injury.
It makes you feel ill.
Beside you on the couch, Mick sits blank-faced, looking nearly as pale and worn as your mother. At 14, he understands the gravity of the situation all too well. Your big brother has always idolized your papa, hoping to follow in his racing footsteps one day as well. The thought of him not being there to see the realization of that dream is devastating.
Gina is curled up in the armchair, her shoulders shaking every so often with muffled sobs. At 16, sheâs arguably been taking this the hardest of all you kids. She keeps her face stoically dry in front of your mother, but you can see how red and puffy her eyes are from constant crying.
As for you, at 11-years-old, youâre somehow both numb and feeling everything all at once. Part of you still canât fully process that this nightmare is real. That your hero, your papa, could be lying comatose in a hospital, hovering between life and death. The other part of you is overwhelmed in a tsunami of terror, panic, anger, sadness â any and every emotion crashing through you at all hours.
âKids, Iâm so sorry about this,â your mother says, defeated, as she rejoins you in the living room after ending her latest call. The bags under her eyes seem to have deepened further overnight. âI know this is incredibly difficult and intrusive. But your papa is ⌠heâs a public figure. People are concerned.â
âIncredibly insensitive is what theyâre being,â Gina spits, uncurling herself from the chair enough to shoot your mother a resentful look. âWeâre going through actual hell and all these people care about is getting a sound bite for the evening news!â
Corinna looks pained but doesnât rebuke her. âI know, liebling, I know. But your papa has millions of fans all over the world who have followed his career for decades. Whether we like it or not, they care about him ⌠and about us by extension.â
You think back to that day at the karting track all those years ago when you first realized your papa was what people called âfamousâ. How all those strangers clamored around him so aggressively just for a photo or an autograph. That level of fandom seemed exciting and novel at the time, when you were just a naĂŻve 5-year-old. Now you see it for how intrusive and violating it is, this sense of entitlement people have to the private life of a public figure.
The phone starts ringing again, shattering the fragile quiet. Your mother squeezes her eyes shut and makes no move to get it this time. After four rings, the call goes to voicemail. A moment later, the tinny sound of an Italian voicemail being left blares through the speaker.
âScusi, scusi, please, if there is any update on the condition of the great Michael Schumacher, any information at all! We are all holding vigils and saying prayers, but we must know how he fares! The world is watching and waiting!â
The words, pleading and demanding all at once, are like a slap across your face. The manâs voice is laced with such desperation, as if your papaâs life is mere entertainment to be consumedby the masses. You feel abruptly furious, incensed that a strangerâs morbid curiosity is given the same weight as your familyâs anguish.
âTurn it off,â Mick mutters through clenched teeth, hunching over on the couch. âJust turn it off, Mama.â
Corinna nods numbly and reaches to end the voicemail, her mouth set in a grim line. Buzzing fills the room again as the TV drones on, the reportersâ voices a dull roar that you can no longer discern actual words from as your ears ring with white noise.
The shrill ringing of the phone cuts through once more, like a record scratching in your brain. Your mother flinches violently, hands coming up to clamp over her ears as she squeezes her eyes shut, finally at her breaking point.
Unable to watch this torture anymore, you surge to your feet and storm across the living room. You rip the phone from its cradle and hurl it against the far wall, the plastic casing shattering loudly. The ringing blessedly ends, leaving only an eerie silence in its wake.
Mick and Gina stare at you with wide, stunned eyes. Your mother simply deflates, sliding down the wall to the floor as the adrenaline drains from her body. For several beats, no one dares breathe too loudly. Then, Gina starts to shake her head slowly, tears slipping free.
âBrava,â she murmurs, the barest hint of approval in her voice.
Your mother doesnât scold you for the outburst. She merely reaches out a hand, silently beckoning you closer until you slowly cross the room again and sink to your knees in front of her. She cups your face in her palms, her own cheeks glistening with fresh tears.
âYouâre right, liebling, youâre right,â she whispers brokenly. âThis is about our family, not ⌠not the world thinking theyâre owed something.â
She pulls your head against her shoulder and you cling to her tightly as she begins to weep in earnest, great shuddering sobs wracking her whole frame. Gina scrambles over and tucks herself against your motherâs other side, and soon all three of you are tangled in each otherâs arms, letting the tidal wave of grief crest over you.
Mick stays frozen on the couch, watching over your huddle with dark, haunted eyes. For the first time since this ordeal began, the four of you are united in simply feeling, truly letting yourselves shatter. No more putting on brave faces or pretending to be okay â from this moment, you can finally grieve as a family behind closed doors, blockading out the rest of the cruel, prying world.
Later that evening, after crying yourselves into an exhausted stupor, you drift up the stairs and sequester yourself in your bedroom. You bypass the framed photos of your papa on your nightstand, the sight of his bright smile and twinkling eyes too searing at the moment. Instead, you sink to your knees in the middle of the floor and clasp your hands tightly, bowing your head to murmur desperate pleas.
âPlease, please let my papa be okay. I donât care about all his fame or the stupid reporters. I just want him to get better and come home to us. Heâs not just the famous Michael Schumacher to me. Heâs Papa. Heâs my whole world.â
The words spill out in a torrent, all the fear and longing youâve been bottling up for the better part of a week erupting forth. You plead to any higher power that may be listening, bargaining away your future, your dreams, anything â as long as your papa pulls through this nightmare.
How many times had you taken for granted those moments of him just being your dad â making you pancakes on Saturday mornings, dozing on the couch during family movie nights, playfully tossing you into the pool when you grew too whiny in the summer heat? Youâd give anything to have those simple, precious daddy-daughter moments back.
âThe world can have his trophies and titles,â you whisper fiercely, tears slipping free to patter on the carpet. âI donât care about any of that. I just want my papa. Please, please bring him back to us.â
You curl in on yourself, forehead pressing into the floor as your shoulders shake with silent sobs. All the adoring fans, the fawning media, the hangers-on clamoring for a piece of his glory â they only know the manufactured public persona of Michael Schumacher, legendary racer and famous celebrity. But to you, heâs always just been the quiet hero tucking you into bed at night, the gentle presence reading stories in funny voices, the mighty protector pulling you in for all-encompassing bear hugs.
You miss that wonderful, silly, tender father more than anything in the world. You donât give a damn about his racing accolades or his fame. You just desperately need your papa back home where he belongs â with his family, the people who loved and treasured him most as simply Michael.
Just Michael. Your one and only papa.
The raw ache of that longing consumes you utterly. You lay there amid the fading light from your bedroom windows, dreams and memories of your papa flickering behind your eyelids as you plead to any benevolent force that may be listening. All you want is the chance to make more joyful memories with him, to hear his rich laugh, to keep basking in his unconditional love for years and years to come.
Please, you beg the universe silently, one last time. Please let this nightmare end. Donât let the brightest light in my world be extinguished before its time.
Let me have my papa back.
***
A tense hush has fallen over the dining room table, the clinking of utensils against plates the only sound cutting through the thick silence. Gina avoids everyoneâs eyes, pushing food around her plate listlessly. Mick stares down at his half-eaten dinner, jaw working like heâs chewing over something weighty. You pick at a bread roll, too knotted with anxiety to muster much appetite.
Your mother is the one to finally break the stifling quiet, clearing her throat. âKids, I know these last few weeks have been ⌠incredibly difficult for us all.â
You risk a glance up at Corinna. Her eyes are tight at the corners, her mouth a taut line. Just like all of you, the constant vigil at your papaâs bedside, combined with the relentless badgering from the media, has clearly taken its toll.
âBut we have to keep trying to be a family, yes?â She reaches across the table to grip your hand. âWeâre all Michael has right now. We have to ⌠to stick together for him.â
You nod numbly, swallowing hard around the lump in your throat at the reminder of your papaâs unchanged condition. The waiting, the not knowing if or when heâll wake up, is a special kind of torment you wouldnât wish on anyone.
Mick abruptly shoves his plate away, the porcelain scraping loudly across the wood. You all flinch a little at the harsh sound.
âIâve been thinking ...â he starts, then seems to reconsider his words, shoulders tightening fractionally. âWell, Y/N, you know how I ⌠how I race under Mamaâs last name?â
You frown slightly, uncertain where heâs going with this. âBetsch, yes. Because you wanted to make your own name without the expectation and pressure of being Michael Schumacherâs son.â
He dips his chin once, looking almost pained. âExactly. And I think ⌠I think maybe you should consider doing the same.â
The words sit heavy and convolulenting between you all like a sack of wet cement. You blink dumbly, hardly comprehending what heâs suggesting at first. When the implication hits you, you actually recoil as if heâd slapped you across the face.
âWhat? No. No, absolutely not, Mick. How can you even say that?â
âY/N, just hear me out,â he pleads, holding up his hands in a calming gesture. âWith Papa ⌠with what happened, the paparazzi and the fans, theyâre going to be watching our every move even more than before. Especially you since youâre planning to continue competing-â
âDonât you dare make this about his condition,â you spit, fury thrumming through your veins like struck lightning. âAnd of course I plan to keep racing â itâs what Papa would want! Iâm not going to hide from his name like itâs some shameful thing!â
Gina is watching the exchange with wide, startled eyes, her food forgotten. Mick runs an agitated hand through his hair, shaking his head firmly.
âItâs not about hiding or shame, itâs about protecting yourself! Donât you see how crazy things have gotten? All the reporters harassing us, the fans leaving awful messages online hoping for updates ...â
He leans forward, expression almost desperate. âIf you race as Betsch, you can compete without having that extra spotlight. You can just be a normal kid on the track without people peering in.â
Heat rushes up the back of your neck in waves of humiliation and rage. How dare he insinuate that inheriting your papaâs legacy is some kind of burden to be shrugged off? That the name Schumacher is a burden to bear rather than a badge of honor?
âIâm not you, Mick,â you bite out, fists clenching beneath the table. âMaybe racing under Mamaâs name helped you deal with the pressure better and thatâs fine. But Iâm proud to be Michael Schumacherâs daughter! And if people canât respect that, if they think it means they own a piece of me, then they can go to hell!â
âLanguage!â Your mother gasps, both appalled and slightly impressed. But you ignore her admonishment, too fired up to rein it in now.
âWhat, you think pretending to be someone else is going to spare me from living in Papaâs shadow anyway?â You shake your head adamantly, leaning across the table towards Mick. âItâs not, and you know it. Even if I raced under a fake name, everyone is still going to know exactly who I am and make comparisons.â
Slamming your palms on the table, you surge to your feet, chair screeching harshly against the floor. All the pain and uncertainty of these past few weeks is bubbling over into bitter, biting words.
âSo why should I hide it? Why canât I take pride in my name and my heritage? Maybe itâll mean more scrutiny, but itâs a million times better than feeling like I have to be ashamed! Like I canât fully honor Papa and make him proud!â
Chest heaving, you stare down a wide-eyed Mick, almost daring him to challenge you further. He seems to read the conviction blazing in your eyes, features softening into chagrin.
âYouâre right ...â he murmurs with a wince. âYouâre right, Y/N, Iâm sorry. That was out of line.â
You hold his repentant gaze for a long moment before deflating back into your chair with a muted thud. In the ringing silence, you can hear your motherâs soft sniffles from the far end of the table. When you look over, she has her head bowed, hands pressed to her eyes as she cries quietly.
âM-Mama?â Gina ventures in a small voice, reaching across to grasp her motherâs wrist. âWhatâs wrong?â
Corinna lowers her hands, swiping at the tears streaking her cheeks. When she meets your bewildered gaze, her expression is a complicated brew of pride and heart-wrenching sadness.
âNothing is wrong, liebling,â she assures Gina with a watery smile, before turning back to you. âY/N, youâre so much like your papa, do you know that? So brave and determined ⌠so full of that same fighting spirit.â
She dips her chin, lips trembling faintly. âHe would be so proud to hear you defend his name like that. To see you ready to take on the weight of wearing it, regardless of what the world throws at you.â
More tears spill forth, but she brushes them away impatiently with the backs of her hands.
âBut liebchen, you have to understand ⌠Michael spent decades bearing that scrutiny and expectation. People analyzing his every move, always under a spotlight so harsh it burned. I never wanted that for any of you.â
Sliding her chair back, your mother crosses to kneel before you, cradling your face gently between her palms. Her eyes are shining but intensely serious, almost pleading with you.
âThe Schumacher name casts such a long shadow, one so great that your own light can be eclipsed before you ever have a chance to properly shine. I donât want you smothered by that burden, mein schatz. I want you free to make your own amazing mark on this world, completely unchained.â
You feel your throat grow tight at her words, the weight of them ringing so true and terribly sad. You reach up to circle your fingers around her wrists, holding her hands to your cheeks like vices.
âI know, Mama, I know,â you whisper roughly. âBut that light you want me to shine? Papa is the one who sparked it inside me in the first place.â
You meet her watery gaze steadily, willing her to understand the conviction taking root inside you.
âThe joy and passion I have for racing doesnât come from some anonymous dream. It comes from him â from the nights he spent giving me a play-by-play of his biggest victories, from the days we spent at the karting tracks making memories, from everything I want so desperately to honor.â
Leaning forward until your brows nearly touch, you let the pleasing words spill out directly from your heart.
âSo please, please donât ask me to race as anyone other than your daughter, yes, but also proudly as Michael Schumacherâs daughter. That name isnât a burden or a shadow to me. Itâs something I want to carry forward and make blaze even brighter.â
Your motherâs eyes slip shut as she draws in a shuddering breath. For a long moment, she simply holds your face cradled in her palms, seeming to bask in your impassioned words. When her eyes finally open again, they are overflowing with a fierce tenderness.
âOh liebchen,â she murmurs, voice thick with an odd mix of grief and wonder. âYou are your fatherâs daughter through and through. So determined, so unafraid to face the world head on ...â
She strokes her thumbs along the apples of your cheeks, swiping away the dampness there. âI only hope he knows just how brightly his fire still burns in you. How it is living on in the most brilliant way.â
Surging up onto her knees, your mother pulls you into a fierce embrace, tucking your head beneath her chin. You cling to her tightly, drawing strength from her warmth, her tireless support and love. Over her shoulder, you can see Mick and Gina watching silently, their own eyes overly bright.
When your mother finally leans back, cupping your face once more, her expression has regained some of its usual firmness and resolution.
âVery well, then,â she nods, offering you a watery but determined smile. âIf you truly feel ready to take on the world, to claim that name and legacy as yours, then we will face it together. As a family.â
She rises lithely to her feet, drawing you up along with her. Gathering Mick and Gina in with the sweep of her arms, she folds you all in her protective embrace, holding your foreheads together in the center.
âYou may be Schumachers, but that name does not define or limit you,â she declares, quiet but firm. âIt is simply one part of your identity, one piece of the incredible legacy you inherited. What you choose to make of it, how brightly you make that legacy burn, is up to you alone.â
She pulls back just enough to meet each of your eyes in turn, her own gleaming with resolute pride.
âSo let them watch, let them scrutinize and sneer and make their judgments. You will simply keep chasing your passions and living your truths. Yes, the world may know you as Schumachers, but you alone will define what that name represents, now and for generations to come.â
***
The roar of the engines fades as you cross the finish line, taking the chequered flag. The broadcast team erupts in excitement.
âUnbelievable! Y/N Schumacher has done it â the daughter of the legendary Michael Schumacher wins the Formula 2 championship in her rookie year!â
You can hardly believe it yourself as you start your cooldown lap, adrenaline coursing through your veins. The pit crew is cheering wildly, holding up the #1 sign. Your race engineer is on the radio, his voice cracking with joy. âYouâre a champion, Y/N! A first-year champion!â
âWhat an incredible drive from the young German. Shades of her father with that relentless determination and racecraft. Sheâs carried on the Schumacher name proudly.â
As you return to the pit lane, you spot Mick getting out of his own car. He has a huge smile on his face, eyes shining with pride. You take a moment to drink it all in as you bring your car to a stop and heâs the first one there, ripping off your helmet so he can hug you tightly.
âYou did it! Iâm so proud of you!â Heâs beaming as he pulls back to look at you.
âAww, Mick ...â You blink back happy tears, overwhelmed by the magnitude of what youâve accomplished. âI couldnât have done it without you pushing me every single race.â
Mick shakes his head dismissively. âThis was all you. You were the faster driver this season, plain and simple.â His face falls a little. âI really thought I had you there at the end, but you just wouldnât give up.â
You grin cheekily. âOf course not! Iâm a Schumacher â we never give up.â
âWhat a beautiful moment between the siblings. You can see the immense pride Mick has for his sister, despite coming up just short of winning the championship himself.â
The rest of the team surrounds the two of you, lifting you both up onto their shoulders as the celebrations kick into full gear. You lock eyes with Mick over the sea of smiling faces and he winks at you contentedly.
Later, after youâve returned to the garage, you find a quiet moment alone with Mick. He pulls you into another hug, this one more lingering.
âI really am so happy for you, Y/N. Youâve worked so incredibly hard for this.â Mickâs voice is thick with emotion.
You squeeze him tightly. âThank you, Mick. That means everything coming from you.â
He pulls back, cupping your face fondly. âI remember when we were kids, dreaming of following in Papaâs footsteps. And now look at us!â
You laugh, a few happy tears spilling over. âI know, itâs crazy! I couldnât have done this without your help, you know. Youâve been by my side every step of the way.â
âA storybook ending for the Schumacher siblings. Y/N cementing herself as a future star, with her older brother not far behind.â
Mick shakes his head adamantly. âNo, Y/N, this was all your talent and determination. I just got a front row seat to watching greatness in the making.â His eyes are shining with sincerity.
You throw your arms around his neck, struck by how lucky you are to have such an amazing brother. âI love you, Mick. Thank you for always believing in me.â
He hugs you fiercely. âIâll always believe in you. Youâre a champion now, but I know this is just the beginning for you.â
The team arrives then, champagne bottles in hand and ready to continue the celebration. You pull back and grin at Mick mischievously, cracking open the first bottle with a cheeky grin. âDonât worry, Iâll go easy on you ⌠for now.â
The bubbly liquid sprays everywhere as you both dissolve into laughter, reveling in this perfect moment of sibling bonding and love. Mick pulls you into a wet hug, so proud and grateful to share this with you.
âAnd an iconic image â the Schumacher children celebrating a Formula 2 title just like their father did in the upper series so many times before. A changing of the guard, with the name Schumacher set to dazzle racing fans once more for years to come.â
Later that night, after youâve showered off the champagne and slipped into comfy clothes, thereâs a soft knock at your hotel room door. You open it to find Mick standing there, shifting awkwardly.
âHey, youâve got a second?â His eyes are slightly red-rimmed, like heâs been crying.
âOf course, whatâs up?â You gesture him inside, concerned by his demeanor.
Mick enters slowly, fiddling with the strings of his hoodie. He seems to be struggling to find the words.
You rest a hand on his arm. âMick, you can tell me anything, you know that.â
He nods jerkily, finally meeting your eyes. âI really am so happy for you, Y/N. You have no idea how much it means to me to see you accomplishing your dreams.â His voice catches with emotion.
âBut?â You prod gently.
Mickâs eyes water again. âBut ⌠itâs also really hard for me. This was my dream first, you know? To become a champion like Papa.â He swipes at the tears angrily. âAnd now youâve beaten me to it. Iâm just ⌠Iâm struggling with that a bit.â
Your heart clenches at his quiet admission. You pull Mick into a tight hug, rubbing his back soothingly. âOh, Mick ⌠Iâm so sorry. I never wanted to take that away from you.â
He shakes his head against your shoulder. âNo, no, itâs not your fault at all. You earned this, fair and square. Iâm just ⌠dealing with some complicated emotions, I guess.â
You push him back by the shoulders, looking him straight in the eyes intently. âMick, listen to me. You are one of the most naturally gifted drivers Iâve ever seen. This is not the end for you, not even close. Youâre going to be a champion too, I know it.â
Mick seems to deflate slightly at your words, the tension easing from his shoulders. âYou really think so?â
âI know so,â you state firmly. âWeâre going to take this to the top level together. And weâre going to make Papa even more proud than he already is.â
A slow smile spreads across Mickâs face. âTogether,â he repeats, reaching out to take your hand and give it a squeeze.
You squeeze back reassuringly. âAlways together. You and me, just like when we were kids. Weâre a team, remember?â
Mick nods, the brightness returning to his eyes. He seems lighter now, the melancholy cloud lifted by your words of encouragement.
On impulse, you throw your arms around him again, nearly knocking him over with the force of your hug. Mick laughs delightedly, squeezing you just as tightly.
âThank you, Y/N. I needed to hear that from you,â he murmurs shakily into your hair.
You pull back just enough to grin at him cheekily. âWhat are little sisters for?â
Mick lets out a surprised bark of laughter, warmth and affection shining from every part of his expression as he gazes at you fondly. âYouâll always be my little sis, champion or not.â
Itâs your turn to laugh, swatting at his chest playfully. âWell this little sis just kicked your ass this season, so show some respect!â
Mickâs eyes crinkle with mirth. âIâll remember that for next year, believe me.â
***
Itâs a crisp autumn evening at the Schumacher family home in the Swiss Alps. Youâre curled up on the plush couch in the living room, flipping through a magazine while your brother paces back and forth anxiously.
âWill you please sit down?â You ask, eyeing him over the top of the pages. âYouâre making me dizzy.â
Mick runs a hand through his tousled blond hair. âSorry, Iâm just ⌠worked up, I guess.â
You set the magazine aside. âAbout what? We havenât had a race in weeks.â
He stops his pacing to face you. âYou know the seasonâs almost over, right? And Haas still hasnât said anything about re-signing me for next year.â
âOh, Mick.â You offer him a sympathetic look. âIâm sure itâs just a matter of time. Youâve had a solid season.â
Mick flops down next to you, deflating a little. âI donât know. There are so many other options on the table. What if Haas decides to go a different direction?â
âThen youâll find another seat,â you say firmly. âAny team would be lucky to have you behind the wheel.â
He manages a half-smile. âThanks. I just wish I had your confidence sometimes.â
âWhat can I say?â You flash him a cheeky grin. âItâs a gift.â
The peaceful moment is shattered as both of your phones start ringing in unison. You exchange a puzzled look before digging them out.
âMy manager,â Mick says, furrowing his brow as he answers. âHello?â
You do the same, pressing the phone to your ear. âHey, Nicolas, whatâs up?â
For the next few minutes, you and Mick are silent, listening intently with rapidly changing expressions â yours elated, his crestfallen. When you finally hang up, Mick is staring at the floor, lips pressed into a tight line.
âWell?â He asks, voice tight. âDonât keep me in suspense.â
You take a deep breath, trying to tamp down your surging excitement. âFerrari wants me for next season.â
Mickâs face falls even further, if possible. âYouâre kidding.â
âI wouldnât joke about this!â You canât keep the grin from overtaking your features. âCan you believe it? Driving for the Scuderia! Itâs a dream come true!â
âYeah, for you maybe,â Mick mutters darkly.
You blink at his tone, smile fading slightly. âWhatâs that supposed to mean?â
He drags a hand down his face wearily. âHaas declined to re-sign me for next year.â
The words hit you like a punch to the gut. âWhat? No, that canât be right!â
âAfraid so.â Mickâs voice is flat, resigned. âThey said something about ⌠needing to bring in fresh blood or some bullshit excuse.â
You scoot closer, placing a comforting hand on his arm. âMick, Iâm so sorry. Thatâs awful.â
âDonât be.â He tries for a nonchalant shrug, but it comes off as dejected. âAt least one of us is moving up in the world.â
âYeah, but at what cost?â You protest. âWeâre teammates! We were supposed to take on Formula 1 together!â
Mick snorts humorlessly. âLooks like thatâs not going to happen after all.â
An uncomfortable silence stretches between you. You open your mouth, searching for the right words of reassurance, but come up empty. How can you comfort him when your own dream has come true at his expense?
âHey.â Mickâs somber tone breaks the quiet. âIâm happy for you, you know. Really, I am.â
You meet his sincere gaze, feeling your eyes start to well up. âI know. But that doesnât make this any less shitty for you.â
He manages a rueful smile. âWhat can I say? Iâm a realist.â
âSo what are you going to do now?â You ask quietly.
Mick lets out a heavy sigh, leaning back against the couch cushions. âKeep grinding, I guess. Look for another seat, any seat, even if itâs not in F1 next season.â
âYou canât give up on F1!â You protest instantly. âYouâre too good for that, Mick.â
âAm I, though?â He lets out a mirthless chuckle. âFace it, Y/N, youâve always been the better driver. This just proves it.â
You shake your head adamantly. âThatâs not true at all! Youâre every bit as talented as me.â
âThen why did Ferrari pick you instead of me?â Thereâs no accusation in his words, just weariness.
You falter, mind churning as you search for an answer that wonât come. âI ⌠donât know.â
âExactly.â Mick closes his eyes briefly. âMaybe itâs for the best. At least this way, one of us still gets to live out the Schumacher legacy and race for Ferrari. Carry on the family name, you know?â
âBut youâre a Schumacher too,â you say, feeling your throat start to tighten with unshed tears. âIt should be both of us out there, not just me.â
Mick reaches over to give your hand a comforting squeeze. âHey, donât cry about it. Iâll be okay, really.â
âHow can you be so calm about this?â You swipe angrily at the moisture gathering in your eyes. âItâs not fair, Mick. Itâs just not fair at all.â
He levels you with a look thatâs decades older than his years. âLife rarely is. You know that as well as I do.â
You fall silent, unable to formulate a response. Heâs right, you realize with a pang. The two of you, of all people, should understand that success and failure often go hand-in-hand, even for the most talented competitors.
Pursing your lips, you lean forward and pull Mick into a fierce hug. He tenses for a split second before wrapping his arms around you tightly.
âIâm still so proud of you,â you murmur into the crook of his neck. âNo matter what happens, youâll always be my incredible big brother.â
Mick lets out a shaky exhale against your hair. âAnd youâre the most badass little sister a guy could ask for. Ferrari has no idea what theyâre in for.â
You pull back just far enough to meet his eyes, emboldened by the warm affection shining in them.
âJust promise me one thing?â You ask.
He arches an eyebrow quizzically. âWhatâs that?â
A mischievous grin tugs at your lips. âThat youâre not going to take it easy on me whenever youâre back on the grid.â
***
You take a deep breath as you pull your sleek new Ferrari up to the iconic factory in Maranello. This place holds so many memories â some joyful, others bittersweet. Your father cemented himself as a legend here, and you canât help but feel the weight of that legacy on your shoulders now more than ever.
The door swings open and there stands Fred Vasseur offering you a warm smile. âY/N, welcome home.â
You return the smile, unable to mask the flood of emotions. âItâs good to be back, Fred.â
He gestures for you to follow him inside. âIâm sure this place brings back quite a few memories.â
âYou have no idea,â you murmur, taking in the familiar sights and smells. The rosso corsa that coats every surface, the scent of machinery and high-octane fuel ⌠itâs intoxicating.
A tiny you runs through the hallways, giggling madly as your frantic mother tries to catch up. âMick! Y/N! Get back here this instant!â
Mick peeks out from behind a workbench, sticking his tongue out at Gina, who playfully swats at him. You spot the perfect hiding spot â a massive green recycling bin tucked in the corner ...
âY/N? Are you still with me?â Fredâs voice breaks you from your reverie.
You shake your head. âSorry, got a bit lost in thought there. This place just ⌠feels like stepping into the past.â
Fred nods knowingly. âI can only imagine. But today is about your future with the team.â He leads you through the winding corridors, pointing out various departments. âOver here is aerodynamics, that hallway takes you to the design labs ...â
âCome out, come out, wherever you are!â Your fatherâs voice echoes down the corridor, his tone playful but tinged with desperation. You stifle a giggle from your hiding spot as his footsteps draw closer.
âMichael, any luck?â Thatâs Paolo, one of the mechanics. You chance a peek and see half the team has been enlisted to search for you.
Your dad scrubs a hand over his face. âSheâs too good at this game. Shouldâve known better than to play hide-and-seek in a place this size.â
You chuckle softly at the memory, prompting a curious look from Fred. âSorry, just ⌠reminiscing again.â
He gives you an easy grin. âBy all means, feel free to share. Iâd love to hear some of those old stories.â
You take a breath, composing yourself before launching into the tale. âWell, there was this one time when I was maybe ⌠four or five? Mick and I were causing an unholy ruckus as usual, and Papa suggested a game of hide-and-seek to wear us out. Big mistake on his part.â
Fredâs eyes crinkle with amusement. âLet me guess, you proved to be a master hider?â
âYou could say that.â You grin mischievously. âI found this big recycling bin, crawled inside, and stayed completely silent while the whole team tore the place apart looking for me. Papa was just about to call in the overalls for backup when Paolo finally peeked in the bin.â
Fred throws his head back with a hearty laugh. âI can just picture your poor fatherâs face when they found you! He mustâve been both relieved and completely exasperated.â
You nod. âOh, he wore that particular blend of emotions often when we were young terrors around here.â
The two of you continue chatting amicably as Fred shows you around the various facilities â the simulator room, the engine workshop, even the gym and physiotherapy center. With each new area unveiled, another flood of nostalgia washes over you.
You and Mick sprint into the wide-open workshop, engines and miscellaneous car pieces scattered all around. Gina is closing in, her longer legs giving her an advantage.
âGot you now, you little gremlins!â She scoops Mick up with one arm, then turns her sights on you.
You let out a shriek of laughter, dodging around a massive piece of equipment as your mother joins the chase. âCome here, Maus! Itâs time for your nap!â
You shake your head furiously. âNo nap! No nap!â
Corinnaâs hand finally snags the back of your shirt, and you erupt into a fit of giggles as she pulls you into a hug ...
âThatâs some smile youâve got going there,â Fred notes with a wry grin. âI take it another happy memory?â
You give an embarrassed laugh. âYeah, you could say that. Just ⌠remembering how this place used to be our personal jungle gym. Mick, Gina, and I would run absolute loops around Mama while she tried to wrangle us for nap time.â
Fred chuckles fondly. âI can picture three tiny terrors leaving chaos in their wake.â His expression softens. âIt must be incredibly special to be back here after all these years. To follow in your fatherâs footsteps like this.â
You swallow hard against the swell of emotions. âItâs ⌠overwhelming, if Iâm being honest. But in the best possible way.â You glance around at the familiar setting with new eyes. âThese halls practically raised me. And now ⌠now I get to write my own chapter here.â
Fred gives your shoulder an affectionate squeeze. âYouâve got a long road ahead, but I have complete faith youâll make us all proud, Y/N.â
You straighten your shoulders, giving him a determined nod. âIâm ready.â
As you follow him further into the factory, you canât help but revel in the rush of coming full circle. Yes, this team, this place, is indelibly woven into your childhood. But now ⌠now itâs time to create new memories.
To race.
To win.
To become a legend.
***
The crowd outside the Ferrari headquarters swells as you emerge from the famous red doors for the first time as an official Scuderia Ferrari driver. Shouts and cheers erupt from every direction, fans pressing forward eagerly with pens and photos clutched in their hands.
âOver here, Y/N!â
âUn selfie, per favore!â
âCan you sign this for my daughter?â
You plaster on a polite smile, trying to graciously oblige as many autograph and photo requests as possible. But the throngs only grow more insistent, hands grabbing at you from all angles as the crowd closes in. Your heart races and you feel yourself starting to panic at the lack of personal space.
âPer favore, let her breathe!â An insistent voice cuts through the commotion in lightly accented Italian.
The crowd parts slightly as a familiar, lean figure pushes through â your new teammate. His green eyes meet yours with a reassuring look as he plants himself firmly by your side.
âGive her some space!â Charles barks out in English this time. âShe canât breathe!â
You shoot him a grateful glance as the fans reluctantly take a step back. Charles gently takes your arm and pulls you out of the scrum.
âSorry about that,â he says with an apologetic smile, running a hand through his tousled brown hair. âI know how intense they can be around here.â
âNo, thank you,â you reply earnestly. âI was about two seconds away from an anxiety attack.â
Charles chuckles. âWell, we canât have the new driver cracking under pressure on day one.â
You make a face at his teasing remark. âWatch it, pretty boy.â
Laughing, Charles puts his arm around your shoulders in a friendly gesture. âCome on, I know just the place to escape the madness for a bit. Dinnerâs on me.â
He guides you across the plaza and down a side street to a cozy trattoria â Ristorante Montana, known as the unofficial âFerrari restaurantâ frequented by team members. As you enter, a stout woman with a warm, welcoming smile emerges from the back.
âAh, Charles! Welcome back. And this must be ...â Her eyes widen as they land on you. âOh, la piccola principessa is all grown up!â
Flustered, you open your mouth to respond, but the woman has already swept you up in a tight embrace.
âRossella, youâre smothering the poor girl!â A elderly manâs voice calls out in amused rebuke.
âHush, Maurizio, and pour us some wine!â Rossella releases you and holds you at armâs length, beaming. âMichaelâs little girl, all woman now. Iâll never forget the first time your father brought you in here as a bambina.â
She gestures to a framed photo hanging on the wall of a much younger Rossella standing next to Michael, who is holding a grinning toddler â unmistakably you.
âHe was so proud,â Rossella continues misty-eyed. âJust like I know he would be of you today, following in your fatherâs footsteps.â
You swallow hard, touched by the warm welcome and memory. Out of the corner of your eye, you notice Charles watching you with a soft smile.
Rossella shifts gears abruptly, all business. âNow, what will you two have? The usual for you, Charles? And for you, la principessa, I insist you try the gnocchi al ragĂş. Just like my nonna used to make it.â
As Rossella whisks off to the kitchen, Maurizio appears with a bottle of deep red wine and two glasses.
âTo new beginnings,â he toasts with a wink, pouring for you and Charles.
You raise your glass to clink against Charlesâ with a smile. âNew beginnings.â
Over pasta and wine, you and Charles fall into an easy rapport, bantering back and forth as the weight of the eveningâs earlier stress dissipates. You find yourself repeatedly distracted by the dimpled grin that lights up his face whenever he laughs at one of your quips.
âSo is this a regular hazing ritual you put all the rookies through?â You ask innocently. âGet them away from the crowds and ply them with wine so theyâre too drunk to be nervous on day one?â
Charles barks out a laugh. âYouâve found me out! Although I do seem to recall my own initiation being a lot harder. Maybe Iâm going soft in my old age.â
âOld age? Youâre what âŚ12?â You retort, eyes dancing with mirth.
The waiter arrives with the dessert menu, but Rossella shoos him away.
âNo, no menu. Iâm bringing you the tiramisu to share. My secret recipe.â
Charles groans in delight. âYouâre a legend, Rossella.â
She pats his cheek affectionately before disappearing again. A comfortable silence falls between you and Charles as you each take a bite of the rich, velvety tiramisu.
âMmmm, this is literally heaven,â you murmur happily.
Charles hums in agreement around another forkful.
Your eyes catch movement out of the corner and you turn to see Rossella returning, carrying a large framed photo under her arm. She sets it down on the empty chair next to you with a proud grin.
Itâs a glamor shot of you from a recent photoshoot for Vogue Italia â hair and makeup impeccable, lips parted in a secret smile as you gaze directly at the camera.
Rossella rests a hand on your shoulder. âFor me, bellissima? So we can hang la principessa right next to il padre.â
Touched, you take the proffered sharpie and scribble out a quick inscription before signing your name with a flourish at the bottom.
âGrazie mille,â Rossella breathes, throwing an arm around you to squeeze you against her ample frame. âYouâve made this old heart very happy tonight.â
When she finally releases you, you see Charles watching you both with a soft, almost wistful expression. You raise your eyebrows at him in question, but he just shakes his head with a smile.
As you and Charles prepare to depart, Rossella calls out once more. âYou come back soon, eh principessa? I have more pictures to collect.â
You throw her a wink over your shoulder. âDâaccordo, dâaccordo. Weâll be back soon!â
Out on the street, you pause, conscious of the evening rapidly drawing to a close. You turn to Charles, studying him properly for the first time. His deep green eyes crinkle at the corners as he meets your gaze.
âThank you,â you say sincerely. âReally. I donât know what I would have done if you hadnât swooped in to rescue me back there.â
Charles shrugs nonchalantly, but his expression is kind. âWe look out for our own in Ferrari. Thatâs what teammates are for, no?â
A beat passes, the momentary tension thickening between you. Then Charles seems to catch himself, clearing his throat.
âAnyway, I should let you get going before your handlers send out a search party. Need me to call you a car?â
âNo, no Iâm good,â you reply quickly, trying to mask your disappointment at the night ending. âMy performance coach has the car around front.â
You start to turn away, then impulsively pivot back. Rising up on your toes, you throw your arms around Charlesâ neck and pull him in for a brief, platonic hug.
âSeriously, thank you,â you murmur in his ear. âFor everything.â
As you pull back, your faces are just inches apart. Charlesâ eyes are warm, his gaze intense. For a dizzying moment, youâre certain heâs going to kiss you. Then just as suddenly, the moment passes and he steps back with a friendly smile.
âAnytime, princesse. Iâll see you bright and early next week for our first time running the SF-23 on the simulator.â
With a wink, he turns and saunters off down the street, hands shoved in his pockets in that effortlessly cool way of his. You let out a long breath, flustered and exhilarated all at once.
Your performance coach has indeed been waiting with the car, looking mildly concerned. âEverything alright?â
You flash her a bright smile, practically skipping to the car. âIt is now, Mara. It absolutely is.â
Your first day as a Ferrari driver was certainly more than you bargained for. But as you settle into the plush leather seats, you canât wipe the silly grin off your face. Something tells you this new chapter with the Scuderia is going to be an adventure â in more ways than one.
As Mara pulls away from the curb, you catch a final glimpse of Charles striding confidently down the street. Even from a distance, you can make out the dimpled smirk playing at the corner of his mouth.
Leaning back against the headrest, you think back to the memory of his arm slung casually around your shoulders and sigh contentedly. Yes, you have a feeling this is just the beginning of whatâs shaping up to be a very interesting partnership with Charles Leclerc.
***
Sebastian looks over the wine list, pretending to be engrossed in selecting the perfect vintage as he peers over the top of the menu. His eyes are fixated on the entrance to the upscale Italian restaurant, waiting for Charles and you to arrive.
This had better work, he thinks to himself. The two of you have been making googly eyes at each other for months now, but are both too stubborn to make a move.
Finally, the hostess leads Charles and you into the dining room. Sebastian ducks down, pulling the brim of his fedora lower over his face and adjusting the fake mustache heâs wearing as a disguise. He watches as the hostess shows Charles and you to an intimate table for two by the window, the soft glow of candlelight illuminating your faces.
âThere must be some mistake,â Charles says, looking around in confusion. âI was under the impression we were meeting Sebastian here for dinner?â
You look equally perplexed. âThatâs what he told me too. He said to meet at 8 oâclock sharp.â
âWell this is just awkward,â Charles runs a hand through his tousled hair. âShould we wait for him or ...â
Before you can respond, the waiter arrives with a basket of bread and butter. âGood evening, my name is Gerardo and Iâll be your server tonight. Can I start you off with something to drink?â
âActually, weâre still waiting on-â Charles begins, but the waiter cuts him off.
âAh yes, Mr. Vettel asked me to inform you that he will be unable to join this evening after all. A last minute obligation came up. He insisted I take excellent care of you both and that the evening is on his treat.â Gerardo smiles broadly. âSo what will you have to drink?â
Sebastian smirks to himself at his cleverly orchestrated ruse from his secluded table in the back corner. He watches with bated breath as a flustered Charles and you exchange an awkward look.
âIâll have a glass of Chianti,â you say finally, breaking the tension.
âMake that two,â Charles adds with a resigned sigh.
As Gerardo heads off to grab your drinks, an uncomfortable silence falls over the table. âYou know, we donât have to stay if you donât want to,â Charles says, ever the gentleman. âIâm sure thereâs been some misunderstanding.â
âDonât be silly,â you reply, offering him a warm smile that makes Sebastianâs heart melt a little. âIt would be rude to ruin the evening Sebastian so carefully planned, even if heâs not actually here to enjoy it.â
Charles visibly relaxes at your acceptance of the situation. âYouâre right, of course. If itâs a free dinner, we would be fools to turn that down!â
You both share a laugh, finally breaking the ice. Sebastian feels a swell of pride watching the two of you start to let your guards down around each other.
Over the next hour or so, Sebastian is delighted to see Charles and you become more at ease, trading jokes and stories over several delectable courses of pasta, veal, and freshly baked focaccia. Heâs never seen either of you look so lighthearted and carefree, nor has he witnessed two people connect on such an organic, genuine level before. Itâs positively magical to behold.
Gerardo arrives once more, this time bearing a decadent slice of torta della nonna for you to share for dessert. âCompliments of the house,â he announces with a wink before departing.
You immediately dig into the lemony confection with gusto. âOh my god, this is dangerously good,â you moan through a mouthful of pastry cream and flaky crust.
Charles tries and fails to stifle a laugh at your unabashed enthusiasm. âYouâve got a little ...â he gestures vaguely at the corners of your mouth.
âWhat? Where?â You ask, attempting to wipe the stray crumbs and smears of powdered sugar from your cheeks.
âHere, let me,â Charles says softly, reaching across the table with his cloth napkin.
Sebastian watches with bated breath, his heart pounding in his chest, as Charles tenderly swipes the napkin along your lips, his thumb grazing your cheek in the process. The moment seems to last an eternity, the two of you locked in each otherâs smoldering gaze.
Then, ever so slowly, Charles leans across the table towards you. Sebastian can scarcely breathe as he witnesses the magnetic pull drawing the two of you together. This is it, this is finally happening, he marvels silently.
Sebastian lets out an inadvertent yelp of glee and instantly slaps his hands over his mouth. A table of nearby diners turns to gawk at the strange mustached man.
âAhem, sorry! Hairball,â Sebastian rasps out in a terrible Italian accent. He slinks down in the booth, burning with embarrassment as the other patrons slowly turn away with disgusted looks.
Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Charles and you also turn towards the commotion, the heated moment effectively ruined. Damn it, he was so close!
You and Charles eventually turn back towards each other, the awkwardness having returned. âWe should, uh, probably ask for the check soon,â Charles mumbles, unable to meet your eyes.
âYeah, Iâve got an early training session in the morning anyway,â you reply, the disappointment evident in your voice as you stare down at the table.
Inwardly cursing his rotten luck, Sebastian motions for the bill and slips his black credit card into the folder when Gerardo brings it. He knows the only way to redeem this night is to insist you and Charles stay for one more drink. Maybe add a little more wine confidence to help reignite that spark you both nearly combusted over just moments ago.
As Gerardo whisks away to process Sebastianâs payment, the older German steels his nerves. He removes his ridiculous disguise, straightens his tie, and makes his way over to your table with purpose.
âWell, well, what do we have here?â Sebastian asks with an exaggerated wink as he reaches you. âIt appears Mr. Leclerc and Miss Schumacher were stood up this evening. For shame!â
âAh, Seb!â Charles laughs in surprise at seeing his friend and former teammate. âWe should have known you were behind this madness.â
You roll your eyes good-naturedly. âYouâre a menace! I canât believe you tricked us like that.â
Sebastian claps his hands together and flashes you both a devilish grin. âWhat can I say? Iâm a hopeless romantic who cannot abide two clearly smitten people tiptoeing around each other any longer. Now, Gerardo is going to bring you the finest Barolo they have, on my dime, and you are going to remedy this sexual tension situation once and for all over another bottle or three!â
Charles opens his mouth to protest, but you laugh delightedly and nod towards Sebastian. âYou know what, I could go for another drink. What do you say, Charles?â
The older Ferrari driver seems to wilt under the weight of your brilliant smile, Sebastian canât fault the man for that. âAh, what the hell,â Charles shrugs, throwing his arm around the back of your chair. âLetâs see where this night takes us!â
Sebastian settles in, pouring you all generous glasses of the deep ruby wine when Gerardo delivers it. He may be getting on in years, but his matchmaking job has only just begun. One way or another, heâs determined to ensure his two protĂŠgĂŠs quit stumbling over each other and finally discover the romance thatâs been blossoming under their noses all along.
Sipping his wine, Sebastian gazes at you and Charles, sees the tenderness flickering in both your eyes as you lean in closer together over the candlelight. He smiles contentedly to himself.
Mission accomplished.
***
The paddock is mostly deserted at this late hour, the muffled sounds of the teams packing up drifting in from the garages. You linger near the Ferrari motorhome, watching Charles sitting alone on a stack of tires, shoulders slumped. Heâs been increasingly withdrawn these past few days leading up to the Japanese Grand Prix.
You approach slowly, not wanting to startle him. ��Charles? You okay?â
He looks up, managing a small smile when he sees you. âHey, mon amour.â
Thereâs a weariness to his voice that tugs at your heart. You take a seat beside him, letting your arm brush against his in a subtle show of support. âTalk to me. Whatâs going on?â
Charles is silent for a long moment, pulling his helmet off and turning it over in his hands. âItâs Suzuka,â he finally says, so softly you have to lean in to hear him. âBeing back here ⌠itâs difficult.â
Your brow furrows. Right, this is where Jules Bianchi crashed, his accident eventually proving fatal. Charles had been incredibly close with his mentor and godfather. âI canât even imagine how painful this must be.â You cover his hand with yours. âHaving to race on the same track ...â
âI relive that day over and over.â Charlesâs accented voice is thick with emotion. âI can still see the footage of his car slamming into the crane, like itâs burned into my mind. He was my friend, my godfather, like a brother to me. And now every year, I have to come back to this place that took him from us far too soon.â He squeezes his eyes shut, a stray tear escaping.
âOh, Charles ...â You wrap your arm around his shoulders, pulling him close. His body is rigid at first before melting against you, and he buries his face in the crook of your neck. You hold him tightly as his breath hitches with suppressed sobs, your own eyes stinging. How many times has he bottled up this grief, putting on a brave face for the world?
âIâm so sorry,â you murmur, stroking his back. âI canât imagine the pain youâve carried all these years. But Jules wouldnât want you torturing yourself like this.â You pull away enough to frame his face with your hands, meeting his reddened eyes. âHeâd want you to keep living, to keep pursuing your dream that he helped nurture. Heâd be so proud of everything youâve accomplished.â
Charles manages a watery smile, covering one of your hands with his. âYouâre right. Thank you, chĂŠrie. I donât know what Iâd do without you.â He leans in, resting his forehead against yours with a shuddering sigh. âI just miss him so much some days. Like an ache I canât shake.â
âI know.â You brush away the dampness on his cheeks with your thumbs. âBelieve me, I understand that ache all too well.â
A crease forms between Charlesâs brows as he regards you intently. âYour papa.â
You give a solemn nod. âEveryone talks about him like heâs gone. But heâs not, heâs still here, still breathing. Itâs just ⌠heâs not the same man I grew up with anymore.â You blink back tears of your own. âSometimes Iâll see flashes that remind me so much of how Papa used to be. And then that illusion is shattered and Iâm grieving all over again for the person he was.â
Charlesâ arms wrap around you fully, tucking your head under his chin. âI canât imagine how hard that must be. Seeing those glimpses of the man he was, only to have that hope ripped away.â He presses his lips to the crown of your head. âYouâre the strongest person I know.â
You let out a choked laugh. âYeah, definitely doesnât feel like it most days.â Pulling away, you try for a smile. âBut we Schumachers are fighters. We donât stay down for long.â
âThatâs my girl.â Charles grins, cupping your face and brushing his thumb over your cheekbone. âIâm lucky to have you by my side through all of this craziness. I donât know what Iâd do without your support, especially this weekend.â
âAre you kidding?â You turn to fully face him, clasping his hands in yours. âCharles, youâve been my rock too, you know that? Signing with Ferrari this year, following in my fatherâs footsteps ⌠the pressure has been immense. But youâve never let me crumble under it. Youâre always there with a laugh or a hug or some silly joke to make me smile even on the hardest days.â
Charlesâs grin turns lopsided, eyes crinkling at the corners in that way that always makes your heart flutter. âWell, someone has to keep that ego of yours from inflating too much, future champion.â He leans in until his lips are a mere breath from yours. âBut in all seriousness, weâre in this together, okay? No matter what the future holds, Iâll always have your back.â
âI know,â you murmur, feeling his words like a soothing balm over the parts of your heart still aching for your father as you once knew him. âAnd Iâll always have yours. Weâre a team, on and off the track.â You close the distance between you, kissing him deeply.
Charles returns the kiss with fervor, his fingers threading through your hair to hold you close. The worries plaguing you both seem to temporarily fade into the background amid the warmth and solidity of his embrace. When you finally break apart, breathless, his emerald gaze holds an intensity that steals the air from your lungs in the best way.
âJe tâaime,â he murmurs, the endearment like a vow falling from his lips. âNo matter what happens out there tomorrow, or any other race day, that will never change. You and me against the world, princesse.â
You flash him a coy smile, feeling desire begin to simmer low in your belly. âIs that a promise, Mr. Leclerc?â
âMmm, I can make it one if youâd like.â Charles waggles his eyebrows, making you giggle as his hands roam freely over your back and sides, pulling you flush against him. His voice drops to a husky whisper. âMaybe I can find more convincing ways to pledge my devotion once weâre back at the hotel.â
âI definitely wouldnât be opposed to that,â you say breathily, leaning in to nip at his lower lip in a way that makes him groan. âThough if memory serves, I seem to recall you saying something about honoring the teamâs curfew tonight?â You trail openmouthed kisses along the sharp line of his jaw. âWouldnât want to be ⌠sleep deprived before the race.â
Charlesâs fingers flex against your hips as he lets out a shuddering breath. âYouâre really testing my willpower here.â
âPayback for all those times youâve tortured me.â You punctuate the statement with a sharp nip to the sensitive skin below his ear, making him jerk against you with a strangled sound. Pulling back, you smirk at the glazed look in his eyes. âWhatâs the matter? Cat got your tongue?â
He blinks slowly, then his gaze narrows in a way that makes heat flare across your skin. âOh, youâre going to pay for that later.â His voice is low, almost a growl that sends a shiver of anticipation down your spine.
âI look forward to it.â You lean in until your lips are nearly brushing his again.
âTease,â Charles accuses, though his kiss quickly swallows any further retort.
You lose yourself in the press of his mouth, the exploring glide of his hands over your body, the undeniable chemistry that still sometimes takes your breath away. When you finally break apart, gasping for air, you stay wrapped in each otherâs arms, foreheads resting together.
âThank you,â Charles murmurs after a long beat of comfortable silence. âFor always knowing how to pull me out of my own head. I donât know what Iâd do without you.â
âThatâs what partners are for,â you say simply, brushing back the silken strands of chestnut hair falling over his forehead. His eyes are so warm, so full of love and adoration, you feel it envelop you like a cozy blanket. âIâll always be here to lean on, just like you are for me.â
Charles catches your hand, pressing a lingering kiss to your palm. âAnd Iâm grateful for that every single day. Facing the good times and bad, together.â His thumb strokes over your knuckles. âI know Suzuka will never be easy, not with the weight of the memories here. But you make the burden feel lighter. Like no matter what, Iâll be okay as long as I have you by my side.â
You lean in, brushing a featherlight kiss across his lips. âAlways. No matter what the future holds, youâre stuck with me, Leclerc.â
A slow, utterly content smile spreads across his face. âI wouldnât have it any other way.â He steals another lingering kiss before glancing toward the pit area, where the last few stragglers are packing up for the night. âAs much as Iâd love to keep you all to myself, I suppose we should try to get some rest before tomorrow.â
Sliding off the tire stack, he offers you his hand, that warm gleam still dancing in his forest-colored eyes. âThough maybe we could indulge in a long, hot shower first? You know, to ⌠unwind after such an emotionally draining evening.â
You raise an eyebrow at his transparent attempt at nonchalance, but canât help a smirk from tugging at your lips. âWhy, Mr. Leclerc, are you propositioning me?â
âWould that be so terrible?â He tugs you into his arms, leaving a trail of teasing kisses along your jaw. âAfter all, we did have quite the ⌠charged conversation just now. Iâd hate for all that pent-up tension to distract us on track tomorrow.â
You let out a breathless giggle as his wandering hands and lips leave tingles across your skin. âWell, when you put it that way ⌠I suppose a nice, relaxing shower could be just what we need to clear our heads.â Looping your arms around his neck, you meet his heated gaze through lowered lashes. âLead the way, liebling.â
Charlesâ responding grin is nothing short of wolfish. âWith pleasure.â Scooping you up in his arms, he heads for the parking lot at a swift pace, leaving the weight of Suzuka and its ghosts behind for the night.
***
The roar of the crowd is deafening as you bring your Ferrari across the finish line, tires smoking from the incredible pace. Your race engineerâs voice crackles over the radio, congratulating you, but the words are drowned out by the thunderous cheers echoing around the Autodromo Nazionale Monza.
You can hardly believe it. Your first season with the Scuderia and youâve just won the Italian Grand Prix â on the hallowed ground that your father once ruled. The sea of fans decked out in red is a sight to behold, celebrating wildly as you complete the cool-down lap.
Pulling into parc fermĂŠ, you kill the engine, the high-pitched whine slowly dying away. Undoing the straps, you clamber out, still trying to process what just happened. This is really real.
âYou!â
The familiar voice makes you turn. Itâs Charles, beaming from ear-to-ear despite settling for second place today. He pulls you into a massive hug, squeezing you tightly.
âI canât believe you just did that! Amazing drive!â
You laugh, giddy with joy and adrenaline. âI still canât believe it either! Everything just ⌠clicked.â
âThatâs putting it mildly,â Charles chuckles, ruffling your sweat-damp hair. âYou were incredible out there. Absolutely brilliant.â
Hearing the praise from your boyfriend means everything. You know how hard heâs worked, how much heâs sacrificed to get this far. And heâs still your biggest supporter.
The two of you finally pull apart as the rest of the team makes their presence known, congratulating you with bearhugs and massive pats on the back. You did it â you brought the victory home for Ferrari at the Temple of Speed.
After the chaos of the post-race celebrations dies down a little, itâs time for the podium ceremony. You canât wait to stand up there, basking in the adulation of the wildly passionate Tifosi. As you make your way out with Charles and the third place finisher, the crowdâs cheers swell to a new eardrum-bursting level.
Climbing the steps, you take your spot on the top level, heart racing as you look out over the endless sea of fans. The air is filled with brilliant red smoke, passionate flag-wavers creating mesmerizing patterns. Youâve seen Grands Prix in Italy before, but being up here, having actually won â itâs on another level entirely.
Speeches are made, anthems are played, and then itâs time to crack open the podium champagne. As the bottles are picked up, a rolling chant starts building in the grandstands:
âLa Prin-ci-pess-a! La Prin-ci-pess-a!â
The sound shakes you to your core. Tears instantly spring to your eyes.
Charles, beside you on the second step, grins and nudges you. âListen to them! Youâve done it â youâve made them fall in love with you just like they did with your father.â
Looking down at him with misty eyes, you mouth, âThank you,â so overwhelmed that you canât speak. He slips an arm around your waist, pulling you close. The two of you share a soft kiss as the chanting grows louder and louder.
As you pull back, gazing out over the surging tide of humanity, faces beaming up at you in adoration, it finally sinks in. This moment â winning at Monza for Ferrari, with Charles by your side, the Tifosi embracing you wholeheartedly â is beyond anything you ever could have dreamed.
The emotions pour out in waves of joy and pride and disbelief. You raise your bottle high, echoing the chants and cheering your heart out to the crowd. They roar back even louder, feeding off your energy in the way that only this group of diehard fans can.
Once the champagne showers subside, giddy fans whistling at you and Charles canoodling on the podium, itâs time to head back down. But the celebrations are just getting started. The team wants to keep the party going.
On the drive over to Maranello, you find yourself sandwiched in the backseat between Charles and your race engineer, Ricky. Everyone is grinning like maniacs, high on the thrill of victory, singing drinking songs at the top of their lungs.
âSolo per lei! Principessa di Monza!â Ricky bellows, gently elbowing you. The rest join in, filling the car with the chant of âOnly for her! Princess of Monza!â You canât stop giggling, leaning into Charles, deliriously happy.
Once you finally roll up to the factory, the party spills out of the car and into the streets. The entire workforce has turned out, waving huge Ferrari flags, beating drums and sounding air horns in celebration. Youâre immediately swarmed, being passed from hug to hug as champagne is sprayed in joyful arcs.
They finally manage to sweep you, Charles, and most of your garages inside the factory, where long banquet tables have been set up in the main hall. An enormous cheer goes up as you enter, sparkling wine sloshing from hastily poured glasses all around you.
The meal that follows is a total blur â amazing food, flowing alcohol, raucous toasts, and the happiest pandemonium youâve ever witnessed. You keep getting tugged from conversation to conversation, everyone wanting to hear how the race played out from your lips. Charles sticks by your side the whole time, looking on with sheer pride.
At one point, you end up going shot for shot with Fred Vasseur, the team principal pouring vodka like his job depends on it. âLa mia principessa!â He chuckles, his eyes sparkling with unshed tears of joy. âYouâve made us all so proud today!â
He hoists his glass. âTo our Princess! The Princess of Monza!â
The chant starts up again all around you. âLa Prin-ci-pess-a! La Prin-ci-pess-a!â
You beam at them all, squeezing Fredâs hand. No words can describe this feeling, being embraced so completely by your team â your family. This is what youâve dreamed about since you were a little girl. Following in your fatherâs footsteps, bringing glory to Ferrari, carrying on the legend.
The party rages on long into the night. At some point, you lose track of time completely, delirious with exhaustion from the whirlwind of emotion.
You come around for a moment, blinking in the dim glow of the factory lights. Thereâs quiet rumbles of laughter around you, echoing off the walls. Looking around blearily, you realize youâve been tucked into a makeshift bed fashioned from a pile of Ferrari t-shirts, nestled in one of the car assembly spaces.
Charles is there too, cradled against your side, one arm wrapped protectively around you. The rest of the team â your PR officers, engineers, mechanics, everyone â is strewn about in similar nests, all of them totally conked out.
With a contented sigh, you snuggle deeper into Charlesâ embrace, feeling his lips brush the top of your head. This bizarre, wonderful scene seems to encapsulate everything about being part of the Ferrari family. Itâs chaotic and overwhelming and unlike anything else in the world.
But most of all, itâs home.
As you start to drift back to sleep, savoring the lingering scent of champagne and motor oil, one final chant echoes in your head:
La principessa di Monza.
La principessa di Ferrari.
***
11 Months Later
The last few laps feel like theyâre happening in slow motion. Every turn, every gear shift, every tiny input to the steering wheel is magnified tenfold as the circuits count down. The pressure is immense, but youâve been here before. You can do this.
âStay calm, stay focused,â your race engineerâs voice crackles over the radio. âThe calculations look good. Just bring it home steady.â
Nodding to yourself, you downshift entering the stadium section, the roar of the massive crowd surrounding the AutĂłdromo Hermanos RodrĂguez swelling in your ears. This is it â your chance to join the likes of motorsportâs greatest heroes by winning the Formula 1 World Championship.
Your first victory at Monza, being crowned the âPrincipessa di Ferrariâ by the adoring Tifosi, was a dream come true. But this ⌠this is what youâve worked towards since you were old enough to understand what your father achieved. To etch your name into the history books forever.
The laps tick by agonizingly. Every time the pitboard comes into view, your heart rate spikes. But youâve got a comfortable gap to second place, managing the race perfectly. Just a few more corners now.
âFinal lap, final lap,â your engineer calls out. âLooking brilliant. Stay comfortable and youâve got this!â
You suck in a deep breath to steady your nerves. Out of the sweeping Curve 3 and onto the pit straight, the crowdâs thunderous cheers are reaching fever pitch. You can see the seas of red-clad fans absolutely losing their minds, knowing the woman they idolize is about to achieve immortality.
Crossing the finish line, you finally let out the breath youâve been holding for what feels like ages. The emotion is overwhelming â a combination of pure elation, disbelief, and total exhaustion.
You did it.
World Champion at last!
You cruise around, yelling unintelligibly into the radio as the celebrations kick off around the circuit. Thereâs confetti in the air, smoke flares going off in brilliant shades of red, and a full-throated roar that could probably be heard all the way back in Europe.
Pulling into parc fermĂŠ, you switch off the car, letting the weight of the moment sink in. Tears of joy prick at your eyes as the magnitude of your achievement hits home. Ever since you were a little girl, running around watching your papa, this has been the ultimate dream for you.
And now, itâs finally happened. Youâre a World Champion. Just like him.
The first person to reach you is Charles. He comes sprinting over from his own car, bounding past the marshals without a second look. One glimpse of the huge smile plastered across his face is all it takes for you to dissolve into giggles and delirious tears.
âYou did it! You brilliant, brilliant woman, you did it!â He shouts, grabbing you up in his arms and spinning you around in a whirlwind hug.
âI canât believe it, Charles! It felt like a dream ⌠like it wasnât really happening!â
Youâre both laughing and crying at the same time, drunk on the euphoria of the moment. Clutching each other tightly, you press your foreheads together, trying in vain to compose yourselves.
âIâm so proud of you,â Charles murmurs, gazing at you with adoring eyes. âYou worked so incredibly hard for this. You deserve everything.â
Surging forward, you capture his lips in a searing, passionate kiss. For a few brief moments, the two of you are alone, lost in the depth of your emotions and your all-encompassing love for each other. Nothing else in the world matters but this perfect second frozen in time.
You finally break apart, breathless, when the rest of the team sweeps in to congratulate you. They swarm around in a laughing, whooping mass, jumping up and down, hugging, chanting your name over and over.
âTo our champion! The Queen!â
The cry comes from Antonio, one of the veteran mechanics whoâs been with the team since your papaâs days. He clasps your hands tightly, gazing at you with pride.
âSei la regina! The Queen of Ferrari!â He hollers over the raucous din, tears shining in his eyes. âJust like your father, youâll reign forever!â
Your eyes start brimming over again, overwhelmed. The tears roll down your cheeks, smearing streaks of sweat and grime from the race. But you canât stop beaming.
All at once, the rest of the crew picks up on Antonioâs declaration. Their cheers and chants coalesce into one booming refrain:
âLa Re-gi-na! La Re-gi-na!â
The sheer adulation washes over you in waves, every face beaming up at you in utter reverence. You find yourself struggling to take it all in. In a few incredible seasons, youâve elevated yourself into the realm of legend in their eyes.
Charles wraps his arms around you from behind, steadying you as your knees start to go weak. You can feel his smile radiant against your neck as he cheers and whoops right along with the rest of them.
âYou hear them?â He chuckles, kissing your temple. âItâs all for you, mia regina! My Queen.â
Hearing your love, your partner, your other half call you that sets off a fresh round of giggles and sobs. Turning in his embrace, you loop your arms around his shoulders, standing on your tiptoes to kiss him deeply.
When you finally part, you look out over the still-roaring crowd, many of them carrying elaborate signs with intricate drawings depicting you as a regal sovereign. Some have fashioned ornate crowns out of random merch and foam, holding them high. Others set off flares and smoke bombs in Ferrari red.
For a moment, their euphoric cheers fade into the background, drowned out by the pounding of your heart and the rush of blood in your ears. Closing your eyes, you let the enormity of the moment wash over you, embracing the pride and humility and disbelieving joy.
This is your coronation. The new ruler of the Scuderia â la regina di Ferrari.
âLa Regina di Ferrari! La Regina del Mondo!â
You can only chuckle in disbelief, Antonio and Ricky carefully taking your hands to hoist you up onto their shoulders in throne-like celebration. Charles is right by your side, standing vigil as your King Consort.
As the party spreads out around you, confetti and smoke filling the air, you look out across the ecstatic crowd. All you see are fervent faces, worshiping you as their new Queen of the World.
Itâs a delirious scene that you never, ever couldâve imagined. And yet it feels so natural, so right. Like you were born to be in the center of this storm of jubilation. This is your true home.
And now, youâve taken your rightful place as its ruler.
Mexico City burns long into the night in tribute to the newly-coronated Queen. Tomorrow, the party will likely continue all the way back to Maranello. But in this moment, youâre lost in the swirl of ecstasy, allowing yourself to be swept up in the currents of adoration.
La Regina di Ferrari.
La Regina del Mondo.
***
Eight Years Later
Jules can barely contain his excitement as you and Charles help him into the little red race suit. Heâs practically vibrating with energy, bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet.
âEasy there, petit coureur,â Charles chuckles, ruffling Julesâ hair affectionately. âWeâll get you suited up and on the track soon enough.â
âIâm gonna beat everyone!â Jules declares confidently. You canât help but smile at his enthusiasm.
âThatâs my boy,â you say with a wink. âJust like your Papa and me.â
Charles grins and pulls Jules into a hug. âWeâll see about that, wonât we? Todayâs just for fun though, remember? No official points or anything.â
âI know, I know,â Jules says impatiently. âBut Iâm still gonna win!â
You laugh and swing him up into your arms, peppering his face with kisses until he squeals with delight. âWhatever you say, liebling. Now letâs get you out on that track!â
The three of you make your way out to the karting circuit, hand-in-hand. You can already see a small crowd starting to form along the fences, phones and cameras at the ready. A familiar scenario, even at such a low-key local event.
âMama, Papa, look!â Jules points excitedly. âThose people want to take pictures!â
âThatâs right, schatzi,â you say gently. âYour Papa and I are pretty well known in motorsports.â
âLike movie stars?â His eyes go wide.
Charles laughs. âSomething like that, I suppose. More like ⌠really famous racecar drivers.â
âWhoa ...â Jules seems to be processing this new realization. âYouâre the best ever, right? The bestest?â
You share an amused look with Charles. âWell, weâve had our fair share of success,â you hedge.
âYour mother is a multi-time World Champion,â Charles says proudly. âAs am I. We did pretty okay, I think.â
âWoooaahh!â Jules looks absolutely awestruck, like his little mind has been blown. Itâs both adorable and bittersweet â your own child, only just now grasping the level of your accomplishments and fame.
The crowd has grown considerably by the time you reach the pit area, people pressing against the barriers in hopes of getting a glimpse of the royal family of Maranello. A small team of event staff try valiantly to keep order, but itâs a losing battle.
âExcuse me! Y/N! Can we get a photo?â
âCharles! Over here, please!â
âOh my god, is that little Jules? Heâs so cute!â
Jules clings a bit closer to you and Charles, startled by the commotion. You pull him protectively against your side.
âItâs okay,â you murmur. âJust some fans who are excited to see us.â
Charles gives the crowd a regretful smile and a small wave before ushering you both past the security team and into the pit area. The calmer, more controlled setting seems to ease Julesâ nerves.
âWhy were all those people yelling and taking pictures?â He asks with a small frown.
âLike I said, weâre pretty famous racers,â Charles explains patiently. âA lot of people know who we are and want our autographs or photos with us.â
âLike celebrities!â Jules says, the admiring light returning to his eyes.
You laugh and ruffle his hair again. âSomething like that, yeah. Your Papa and I have had a very successful racing career over the years.â
âThe best careers,â Charles amends with a wink at you. âMultiple world titles each.â
âWorld titles?â Jules looks utterly baffled by the concept. âLike ⌠the best in the whole world?â
âExactly,â you confirm, feeling that familiar swell of pride. âWe were the fastest drivers in the world, for a few years at least.â
âWhooaa ...â Jules seems torn between awe and disbelief. âYouâre like ⌠superheroes!â
You and Charles both crack up at the adorable comparison.
âI donât know if Iâd go that far,â Charles laughs, âbut I suppose to some we come pretty close, eh?â
He scoops Jules up and swings him around, making him shriek with laughter. You watch them with a content smile, suddenly aware of how blessed you are to have this life â your incredible husband, your precious son, the career successes you both achieved. Itâs more than you ever could have dreamed.
âAlright,â Papa says, setting Jules back down. âWhy donât you go grab your kart and weâll get you out on the track? Think you can take on the world champions?â
Jules gives a determined nod, that familiar fire blazing in his eyes â the same look youâve seen in your husbandâs familiar green ones a thousand times over the years. âYou bet! Iâll show you how itâs done!â
With one last hair ruffle, you send him scampering off excitedly. Charles slides an arm around your waist, pulling you close.
âHeâs something else, isnât he?â He murmurs against your temple. âSo much like us at that age. I can already tell heâs going to be a hell of a driver someday.â
You lean into his embrace with a contented sigh. âHe is ⌠and just look at how the crowd reacted to him. Heâs barely grasped that weâre famous, and now heâs already getting mobbed himself. Our little star in the making.â
Charles makes a rueful sound. âWeâre going to have to get used to that, I suppose.â
âOh, I think we can handle it,â you say lightly. âWeâve had plenty of practice being in the spotlight, after all.â
He laughs and drops a kiss to your hair. âThatâs true enough. As long as we stick together, we can get through anything.â
âExactly.â You turn in his arms to face him properly, cupping his jaw tenderly. âYou, me, Jules ⌠nothing else matters as long as we have each other.â
Charlesâ eyes are warm with devotion as he gazes down at you. âMy soulmate. My family. How did I ever get so lucky?â
He leans in to kiss you, slow and sweet, the rest of the world temporarily fading away. You lose yourself in the familiar comfort of his embrace, the love you share-
âEwww, gross! Stop kissing!â
You break apart with a laugh to find Jules making over-exaggerated gagging noises nearby.
âAnd the momentâs ruined,â Charles teases, keeping an arm looped around your waist.
You bend down to Julesâ eye level with a mock stern look. âYou just wait until youâre all grown up with a sweetheart of your own. Then youâll understand.â
He scrunches up his nose theatrically. âNever! Girls are gross!â
You and Charles share an amused look.
âIf you say so,â Charles chuckles. âNow letâs get that kart fired up.â
Julesâ entire demeanor shifts in an instant, that fierce competitiveness surfacing once again. He scrambles into the cockpit of his little kart and takes firm hold of the wheel, looking suddenly years beyond his age.
âYouâre going down!â He declares brazenly. âIâll leave you both in the dust!â
And just like that, the proud parents are replaced by your familiar racing mentalities â the thrill of competition, the desire to win. You share a conspiratorial grin with Charles.
âIs that so?â He taunts playfully. âIn that case, no more taking it easy on you two.â
You bend down to kiss Julesâ forehead, unable to resist a parting quip. âPromise you wonât be sad ⌠because Mama always wins.â
With that, Charles heads off to grab his own kart, leaving you and Jules alone for a brief moment. He looks up at you with shining eyes.
âYouâre my hero, Mama,â he says simply. âAnd Papa too. I wanna be just like you when I grow up!â
You feel your heart swell fit to burst, filled with more love than you could possibly put into words. Bending down, you pull your beautiful little boy into a fierce hug, eyes shining with unshed happy tears.
âOh liebling ⌠you already are. Youâre everything we could have dreamed of and more.â
You press a lingering kiss to the top of his head, overwhelmed with affection. When you finally pull back, there are indeed tears shining in your eyes.
âNow go show your parents what youâve got, baby,â you say with a watery smile. âI canât wait to see you out there.â
Jules gives you a determined nod, eyes blazing with that trademark fire. âYou got it, Mama! Get ready to lose!â
With that, he slams down the visor on his helmet and revs the little engine. You step back with a laugh, watching him peel out onto the track with all the confidence and flair of a seasoned pro. Like parents, like son indeed.
By the time Charles rejoins you, his own kart idling beside yours, Jules has already completed a couple of warm up laps. You canât resist shooting Charles a smug grin.
âWell, well ⌠looks like the apple didnât fall far from the tree. He drives just like you.â
Charles snorts, clearly trying to downplay his obvious pride. âI donât know what youâre talking about. Thatâs all your genes coming through.â
You open your mouth to protest, but a sudden commotion from the fences draws your attention. The crowd has grown even larger, people pressing against the barriers with raised phones and voices calling out excitedly.
âOh my god, itâs them!â
âTheyâre so cute together!!â
âOver here, please! This way!â
You share a resigned look with Charles as event staff rush to try and control the growing swarm.
âThis is what itâs going to be like from now on, isnât it?â You murmur. âOur little family, constantly in the spotlight.â
Charles shrugs, slinging an arm around your shoulders as he watches Jules blaze by. âWhat else is new? Weâve been there our whole careers. At least this time, we get to share the fame together ⌠as a family.â
You lean into his side with a contented smile. Out on the track, Jules whips past in a blur of determination, completely unbothered by the fawning crowd. Just a little boy living out his dream, regardless of who his parents might be.
âYou know what?â You say softly. âI wouldnât have it any other way.â
Charles drops a kiss to your hair as the roar of the crowd and engines swells around you. âMe neither, mon amour. I wouldnât change a single thing.â
#f1 imagine#f1#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1 fanfiction#f1 x reader#f1 x you#charles leclerc#cl16#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc fic#charles leclerc fluff#charles leclerc fanfic#charles leclerc blurb#f1 fluff#f1 blurb#f1 one shot#f1 x y/n#f1 drabble#f1 fandom#f1blr#f1 x female reader#charles leclerc x female reader#charles leclerc x y/n#scuderia ferrari#charles leclerc one shot#charles leclerc drabble
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expanding on this post, where you kiss gojo and he starts floating
gojo satoru x gn!reader
youâre greeted with the light of dawn streaming in, and the tickle of white tufts of hair against your chin. satoruâs body is curled close, one of his arms and his legs thrown over you.
itâs not the first time youâve stayed overnight in gojoâs dorm room, but this is your first time staying over now that youâre a couple. it had been like any other night, but more meaningful touches and a shared buzz of warmth in your chests. and you had fallen asleep in his bed, entangled with his coziness.
but itâs morning now, and you know you should probably leave before yaga finds out youâre not in your own dorm. so somehow, you manage to wring yourself free from satoruâs grasp, even though he mumbles sleepily in complaint.
you canât help but scoff fondly, peering down at him. his hands feel around in the space you had just been, a groan resonating from his chest as he blearily squints.
a small laugh creeps out of you then, âgâmorning, âtoru.â you bend down to brush your lips against his fleetingly, âiâll see you in class later.â
when you leave his dorm and hear a soft âthudâ, you think nothing of it. but itâs only a few steps down the hallway that you realize that you left your uniform jacket hanging on the edge of satoruâs bed.
so you head back, knocking twice on the door to let him know about your presence before opening it.
only to see that your boyfriend that you had left on the bed just moments ago was no where to be seen.
your brows furrow. âsatoru? where are you?â
âup here, darling.â
and then your gaze flits up, up, up, just above the mattress. itâs gojo, on the ceiling, looking disheveled with his bed hair a mess, a sheepish grin on his lips.
âuhh, satoru?â you approach the bed, no longer concerned about your jacket as you stare up at him. âwhatâre you doing up there?â
he blinks down at you. âi woke up.â
you snort. âget down.â
ââŚi canât.â
thereâs a pause of silence, a period of staring at each other. youâre even more confused. âwhat do you mean you canât?â
âi just canât!â
itâs too early for this, and youâre sure that your chance of being discovered by yaga has shot up by a considerable amount.
âgojo satoru. just deactivate your technique.â
he pouts down at you. âyou donât think i tried that? i donât know what happened, okay? i woke up from head-butting the ceiling, and even worse, to you gone without a word!â
itâs funny, how heâs much more upset about the fact that you had left him in bed alone rather than the fact that heâs stuck up there.
and itâs also really funny that he was sleepy enough that he didnât remember you kissing him farewell not even five minutes ago.
ââtoru,â you laugh, shaking your head, âi said good morning and i kissed you.â
aaand now he remembers. he blinks once, twice.
âoh.â
and this time, you burst into a fit of giggles, to which gojo dopily grins down at you â happy that heâs the cause of it, even if itâs because heâs a little silly.
âi canât believe you still floated even with you still half asleep.â you say, inching even closer to the bed and tilting your head further back to look up at him. âcan you seriously not come back down?â
usually after he gets kissed, you or someone else is there to ground him before he floats off, and if not, he regains his composure soon after.
satoruâs pout deepens, fumbling and adjusting his awkward position on the ceiling. ânope.â
with a groan, you toe off your shoes and move to stand on the bed, hands grasping at his shirt and tugging in an attempt to bring him down.
âugh, come on.â
you try with his hands next, and heâs all too eager to twine your fingers together as you tug on them too. he still isnât budging.
âbabe..â he starts, and you hear his cheeky grin before you see it, âthink you needa kiss me again.â
you give him a pointed look. âand why in the world would that work?â
âcâmon, trust me,â satoru pries with a slight whine, âyou did this, maybe you can undo it.â
you blink at him incredulously. âi did this? itâs not my fault you turn into a balloon every time i-â you shake your head when he does nothing but stare pleadingly. âfine, fine.â
you lean up on wobbly toes to give him the second kiss of this morning. itâs short but sweet all the same, and gojo chases after your lips as you pull away.
âsee, i told you it wouldn-â
satoru yelps and crashes down on top of you, the two of you landing smack down on the bed.
you groan, trapped underneath his weight. at least you know now to be extra careful with your kisses. you can feel him nosing at the underside of your jaw teasingly.
âheh, good morning to you too, sweetheart.â
#heâs so silly#gojo x reader#gojo x you#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x you#satoru gojo x reader#satoru gojo x you#satoru x reader#satoru x you#gojo x reader fluff#gojo x you fluff#my writing#rainâs writing
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NHL players reacting to you flashing them..
Based on this tik tok!!! Thank you to @turcott3 for always helping with these
| Jamie Drysdale | Blushes so hard but he doesnât hesitate to make a move, tells you how gorgeous you are before laying kisses all across your chest and breasts.
| Mason McTavish | Heâs confused as to why your boobs are out and whatâs going on, heâll laugh and ask whatâs going on. He does worship you though, itâs one of his favorite activities!
| Juraj Slafkovsky | He gets very excited, his eyes light up as a smirk tugs at his lips. He giggles softly before tackling you and getting to work!
| Luke Hughes | He kinda just sits there for a second very very confused and concerned, he doesnât understand but heâs lightly blushing. Asks if youâre okay and feels stupid when you tell him why you did it.
| Kirby Dach | Raises his eyebrow but blushes immediately, looks at you with an âuhh?â. He honestly reaches out to cover them but when you start giggling so does he and then just shakes his head when you tell him why.
| Cole Sillinger | Waste no time before going in, heâs got one in one hand while his lips are sealed around the other. Very happy and excited man. I can hear him saying an âOhh babyâ with a soft chuckle before he takes very good care of you.
| Brandt Clarke | Turns bright red, heâs so confused but quickly turns shy. He doesnât get sexual at first, pulls your shirt down before pulling you into him and giving you a light kiss and it could lead to some soft sexy time or just some cuddling tbh.
| Adam Fantilli | âbaby whatâre you doing?â With a soft laugh, heâs so smiley as he bear hugs you and kisses all over your face and your chest. He doesnât kiss your breasts but he does tell you how beautiful you are and how much he loves and appreciates you.
| Cole Caufield | He finds it funny, definitely asks what youâre up too but heâll absolutely initiate some sexy time because why not.
| Quinn Hughes | eyes go wide, very confused as to why youâre flashing him in the middle of your living room. Slightly panicked because some of the blinds are open even though you guys live on one of the highest levels. Heâll tell you that you look gorgeous but politely pull your shirt down and drag you to the bedroom.
| Matt Rempe | Giggles and tells you how beautiful you are, heâs a very big fan of you and he makes sure to show you. Heâs not sure what he did to deserve being flashed on a random afternoon but heâs making the absolute most out of it.
| Arber Xhekaj | Another confused man but heâs also honored because youâre gorgeous and youâre showing him one of his favorite things about you. Heâs takes you to the bedroom and gets to work, laughs when you tell him you did it just to do it later in the day.
| Mackie Samoskevich | Blushes so damn hard, gets a little shy but heâs also very turned on. âWhatâs this for??â As heâs doing his best to remain seated and not rush for them like a madman.
#quinn hughes x reader#luke hughes x reader#kirby dach x reader#cole sillinger x reader#cole caufield x reader#adam fantilli x reader#mason mctavish x reader#jamie drysdale x reader#brandt clarke x reader#juraj slafkovsky x reader#matt rempe x reader#arber xhekaj x reader#mackie samoskevich x reader#nhl#nhl fanfiction#hockey imagine#nhl imagine#quinn hughes smut#luke hughes#uluvjay talks#matt rempe smut#jaysheadcannons#nhl fluff#nhl smut#nhl blurb#nhl x reader#nhl hockey
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Izukus lips were always chapped.
he was constantly biting them while jotting down in his notebook, it had became a subconscious habit at this point. Most times heâd look in the mirror and see his lip swollen from the constant chewing on the inside of the skin on his inner lip, he eventually got used to it and everybody around him just knew âmidoriya always bites on his lips.â
now, of course you think heâs the cutest most handsome man no matter what; and you truly didnât mind the look of his lips when they were swollen, you were more concerned about getting him into healthier habits.
so you started carrying chapstick everywhere with you, and you turned it into a little game with izuku.
âzuku come and guess!â you exclaimed with giggles bursting past your lips, tucking the chapstick away neatly in your bag so he couldnât see the flavor. he rounded the corner with a bright smile, rushing over to you next to your locker.
he rested his hands loosely on your hips and pulled you closer to him, you both leaned in as your lips connected for a sweet peck, he hums into the kiss as his brows furrowed and his tongue innocently swiped over your lips to get a better taste.
he smiled into the kiss causing you to reciprocate. he pulled away and formed his lips into a line and moved his eyes around as if he was looking for the right answer in his head.
âmmmâŚâ he hummed. âIs it the mango one?â he locked in his final answer, narrowing his eyes at you and scrunching his face as if he was worried about losing a million dollars in a game show.
âyes!â you blurt out with a wide smile, raising ur hands up in excitement, he follows with a cheer himself; you probably looked like idiots in the hallway but you were just happy to be in eachothers little world.
âsee I told you Iâm getting better!â he rolls his eyes sassily and lightly shoves you, you scoff playfully at him and open your locker to get your books for the day.
âare you sure itâs mango?â he perks up randomly, causing you to raise a brow in confusion.
âuhh..yes? I mean I think let me checkââ you go to reach behind your shoulder and open your bag again before he swiftly grabs your wrists and pulls you into another kiss, you quickly returned after the initial shock wore off. you giggle into the kiss and playfully push him off you.
he pulls away and licks the remainder of chapstick off his lips and nods. âyeahâŚ.tastes pretty mango.â you roll your eyes at his antics but you couldnât hide the bright smile that played on your lips. you turn back away from him to continue with your books in your locker, but he grabs your shoulders and turns you around quickly.
you go wide eyed at his sudden movements once again. âokay one more time just to make sureââ
âIzuku midoriya.â he winced at the full named. âplease?â you sigh and lean in to kiss him once again, he immediately smirks into the kiss, his hand finding your cheek in the process. you pull away and tug his hand off you.
ânow for real zuku I gotta get my booksââ
âbut like just to make sure!ââ
âIZUKU!â
#izuku x reader#deku x reader#izuku midoriya x reader#izuku x y/n#izuku x you#deku x y/n#deku x you#izuku midoriya#mha izuku#bnha izuku#mha izuku midoriya#bnha izuku midoriya#mha x reader#bnha x reader#.thenadrabble
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Thatâs what friends are for - Matt Sturniolo
Re uploaded because my account bsturnzmtt got deactivated :( Please follow and let me know if you want to be in my tag list !
Paring: softdom!Matt x innocent! Reader
Contains/warnings: manipulation, inexperienced reader, fingering, oral (fem receiving), loss of innocence kinda, pet names, aftercare, no p in v
Summary: You go crying to Matt after a group of friends' laughed at your innocence and inexperience. So Matt decides to help you...
ââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââ
You were hanging out with your friends, everything was going normal until someone made a weird question.
âWhere is the weirdest place youâve touched yourself at?â Someone asks.
Everyone laughs and starts answering âat a restaurantâ, âlibraryâ, âschoolâ etc. You stay silent confused by the question not understanding. When everyone else answers except you, someone turns to face and asks. âWhat about you?â
You freeze feeling nervous and confused. âUhh I- I donât understandâŚâ You say.
Everyone laughs thinking you were joking, when they see you don't laugh they realize you werenât joking. Everyone stared at you weirdly and started saying all kinds of stuff. âShe canât seriousâ
âYou can't be that dumb.â
âYou're such a prude.â
âOh god, she's actually that innocent.â
Your eyes blurring with tears at the comments people are throwing at you. You don't understand anything, you don't understand why they are being this mean to you. You quickly grab your things and storm out of there. You don't wanna go home, but you can't stay on the streets crying. So you decide to go to your best friend's house, Matt. His house is just a couple blocks away so you walk there.
By the time you get to his house tears stop falling out of your eyes. But itâs clear that you've cried, your red eyes selling you out. You knock on his door.
He answers the door, his warm smile immediately putting you at ease, even in your emotional state. His eyes flicker to your reddened eyes he tilts his head slightly, concerned by your state. âHey there, sweetheart. What's wrong?â He softly asks with concern.
âI- Iâm so sorry to show up to your house like this, itâs just that⌠tha-.â You can feel yourself start to cry again.
Matt quickly pulls you into a heartfelt hug, letting you cry on his shoulder. âHey, hey, it's okay.â He murmurs softly, his hand gently rubbing your back. âNo need to apologize, you can always come to me, you know that, right?â
You nod but continue to cry on his shoulder.
He continues to hold you, waiting for you to calm down enough so that you can talk about what happened. Once your sobbing subsides a little, he gently guides you to his couch and sits down next to you. He wraps his arm around your shoulder and pulls you closer, gently tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. âYou can tell me anything, you know that. So go ahead, what happened?â
âI donât wanna talk about itâŚâ your voice breaks a little bit as you say that
âOkay. That's fine too. You don't have to talk about it if you don't feel ready yet.â He squeezes your shoulder gently, offering silent support and comfort. âHow about we just sit here for a little while?â
You nod. Some minutes go by, you're completely done crying and your breathing is back to normal now. âThey all laughed at meâŚâ you suddenly say in a quiet voice.
He frowns, listening. "Who laughed at you, sweetheart? And why?" He asks.
âWe⌠we were all hanging out, it was all good. We were having a good time until someone askedâŚâ you start explaining.
"Ask what, love?" He gently prods you to continue, keeping a comforting arm around your shoulders.
âSomeone asked, âWhere is the weirdest place youâve touched yourself at?ââ You say.
His expression and posture changes completely from comforting to protective. He pulls you in even closer, scowling. "And what did you say?"
âNothing. I didnât say anything. Everyone was answering until someone asked me⌠I- I told him I didnât understand the question.â
His grip on you tightens, eyes flashing with a mix of anger and concern. "Fuck. Those bastards." He mutters under his breath. He takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself.
âThey all laughed at me and called me a prude? I think. I donât remember the word.â
"I don't care what they said, you are not a prude." He gently tilts your chin up to meet his gaze.
âWhat's a prude?â You ask confused.
He brushes his thumb across your cheekbone, a soft smile on his lips. "A prude is someone who is overly conservative or modest, especially when it comes to sex or relationships. They think you're naive or inexperienced because you didn't answer their crude question." He cups your face, looking into your eyes.
â⌠what did their question mean?â You ask.
Matt could see your innocence through your eyes. His eyes widen and he sighs heavily, his thumb still rubbing soothing circles on your cheekbone. He looks down, realizing that he may have to explain something uncomfortable to you. "It's a question about masturbation, okay? Touching yourself in a sexual way."
âOh, like ⌠sex?â You ask innocently.
"Not exactly, love. It's more about pleasuring yourself, especially when you're alone." He pauses, considering how much to reveal. "Sometimes people touch themselves in private, for pleasure, to relieve tension.â
âOhhh⌠Iâve never done that.â You say quietly.
His eyes flicker with surprise, but he quickly masks it with a neutral expression. "Oh. Really?" He looks at you with new eyes, as if he's seeing a different side to you. "That's okay, it's your choice. Everyone has different levels of comfort when it comes to sex and sexual activity" He reassures you, sliding his hand down to rest on your shoulder. "But, there's nothing wrong with it if you ever feel like giving it a try."
âDoes it⌠feel good?â You ask with curiosity.
He chuckles, a soft, warm sound. "Yes, it can feel very good.â he admits with a smile. "You feel a rush of pleasure, a release of tension and stress. Some even say it helps with sleep." he explains, his eyes never leaving yours.
You pay attention to his words, your curiosity growing every second. âHave you done it?â You ask innocently with curiosity.
His smile turns into a soft chuckle again as he looks away, clearing his throat. He seems a bit hesitant to answer, but eventually meets your gaze again. "Yes, I have. It's a normal part of life, love."
âOhhhhâ you respond.
He leans in closer, his breath tickling your ear as he whispers. "What is it, sweetheart?â His hand slides down to rest on your hip, fingers tracing gentle circles on your skin. "You're thinking about it, aren't you?" His voice is low, a husky whisper. "Wondering what it would feel likeâŚâ His eyes narrow slightly, studying your reaction, noticing the subtle hitch in your breath and the way your cheeks flush. He leans in closer, his voice lowering to a husky whisper. "You're...interested, aren't you?â
You nod slowly, feeling a little shy. âBut.. I- I donât know how toâŚâ
His soft smile turned into a smirk. âShhh, don't worry.â He reassures you. "I'll teach you." His hand moves from your hip to your waist, pulling you closer to him. His other hand reaches up to gently cup your face .âI'll be here to guide you through it all."
âMhh⌠I donât knowâ you say feeling nervous and unsure.
His smirk grew wider. He leans forward, pressing a gentle kiss to the tip of your nose. âTrust me.â he whispers, his hand sliding from your waist to gently rest on the small of your back. He pulls you even closer to him, leaving very little space between your bodies. "It's just you and me, okay?" He can be very persuasive... "I promise to make you feel good," he whispers.
You think about it still feeling unsure.
He watched you hesitate, "What's wrong, sweetheart? Don't you trust me?" He asks, feigning a sad expression. âI just want to help you.â He says with a disappointed voice. âThatâs what friends are for.â His eyes sparkle with mischief. âAnd weâre friends, arenât we?â
â⌠of course I trust you Matt, youâre my best friend. I just.. I-â
He watched you stutter, his grin growing wider with every passing second. He knows he had you exactly where he wanted you. "Then let me help you. We are best friends. And best friends do...well, all sorts of things together." He says with a little chuckle. He can't help but find your innocence and nervousness adorable. He loves how you don't know what his intentions actually are. "I've been planning this moment for a long time now." His hand moves up to your face again, lightly brushing away loose hair from your cheek. "I know what's best for you, I promise. You can trust me.â
âYou promise it won't hurt?â You softly ask. You still feel very unsure but you want to show him that you trust him and that he is your best friend.
He gives your face a reassuring squeeze, his thumb gently caressing your cheek. "Absolutely not, sweetheart. I promise, it won't hurt at all." He speaks in a soothing, calming tone, his eyes filled with a gentle sincerity. âIn fact, it will feel amazing.â
You nod as he says that, you really love Matt as your best friend. So you accept not wanting to ruin your friendship.
He knew he had you right where he wanted you - vulnerable and willing, trusting his every word. "That's a good girl," he cooed, his voice dripping with approval and affection. His eyes are filled with lust and desire. He gently caresses your arm, his fingers trailing down slowly, sending chills running up and down your body.
He watches your reactions closely, gauging your level of comfort and arousal. Seeing you shiver at his touch, he knows he's making progress. His hand slides from your arm to the hem of your shirt, fingers dancing teasingly along the fabric. "First, we need to get you out of this." His hands slowly lifted it up your torso. He fully takes off your shirt revealing the lacy bra underneath. He admires your body for a few seconds. âFuckâ he murmurs. He takes your hand and guides it to his crotch, his fingers intertwining with yours as he presses your palm against the hard bulge in his pants. "See how much you affect me, sweetheart?" he murmurs again, his breathing growing more every second. You let out a small gasp as you feel a hard bulge.
He watches your face as you feel his hardness through his pants, your small gasp and the way your eyes widen slightly. âAh, you feel that?" He whispers in your ear, his hot breath sending shivers down your spine. âDon't be shy," he whispers, urging you to stroke him gently. He moans lightly at your touch, his eyes closing in pleasure. "God, you drive me crazy." he says, his voice filled with a husky warmth that makes your stomach flutter. "You like that, sweetheart?" He continues to press your hand against his crotch, loving the way your innocent touch makes him feel. He says as he leans down to kiss you deeply while caressing your breasts over the bra. He reaches around your back and undoes the clasp on your bra. He gently tugs the straps down, exposing your breasts to his hungry gaze. He leans in, taking a nipple into his mouth, sucking and nibbling on it gently.
âMmmhâ you let out a whiny moan feeling his tongue against your hard nipple.
He savors the sweet, innocent sound of your moan, his tongue swirling around your sensitive bud as he sucks gently. "Mmm, you like that don't you?" He murmurs, the vibrations of his voice against your sensitive skin sending another wave of pleasure through you. He continues to tease and taste your nipple, his other hand massaging your other breast, making sure to give it equal attention. After a few seconds he moves one hand down to your thighs, gently caressing them as he makes his way upwards. "You're so beautiful, sweetheart."With a gentle but firm grip, he pushes up your skirt, making space for himself to touch you more intimately. As his hand inches closer to your core, you can feel the heat building between your legs, aching for more of his touch. His hand finally reaches your panties, his fingers grazing the fabric over your slick folds. "Fuck, you're so wet already," He gently rubs your clit through the fabric of your panties, applying just enough pressure to make you squirm in pleasure.
You bite your lips and let out muffled moans.
He smirks at the sight of you trying to stifle your moans and he loves knowing he's the one causing such delicious chaos. With a smirk he knows you can't see, he slowly lowers his hand, pulling down your panties as he does.
When he fully took your panties off you automatically close your legs feeling embarrassed.
His eyes light up as he sees your instinctive reaction to expose yourself, a mix of shyness and vulnerability. "Don't be shy, baby. I want to see you, all of you." He gently spreads your legs apart. He leans down, his breath fanning against your slick folds, making you gasp, his eyes devouring the sight of your bare, glistening sex.
You close your eyes, your breathing gets heavy, you bite your lip harder. All because of the feeling of his hot breath hitting your core.
He slowly exhales against you, the heat making you tremble despite the lack of direct contact. "You're so responsive, it's a fucking turn-on." He reaches up and gently runs a finger along your slit before pulling back and bringing that finger to your lips, gently pressing it against them. "Open your mouth, my love.â
You stay paralyzed for a few seconds, but then decide to do what he says. So you open your mouth looking at him with my innocent doe eyes showing confusion.
He chuckles at your look of confusion. Seeing your innocent, confused expression makes him smile. "Don't question it, just do as you're told," he whispers, his voice low and commanding, and slowly slides his finger into your mouth. He groans at the sight of watching you as you taste yourself for the first time. He guides your tongue to his finger, coating it with your saliva. "Good girl. That's it, sweetheart. Suck on itâ he says before taking it back into his own mouth and sucking off the slickness.
You watch as he takes his finger out of your mouth soaked with a mix of your wetness and saliva. He pushes it into his mouth savoring you. You feel your pussy clench around nothing as he does that.
His eyes darken with lust as he sees your reaction to his actions. He groans, savoring the taste of you on his finger. "Fuck, you're delicious," he says hungrily. He can't help but press his palm against your pussy, feeling the heat radiating from between your legs. "You're so fucking wet, it's dripping down your thighs." His eyes flicker up to meet yours for a moment before he leans forward and uses that wet finger to circle your clit.
âMmhp Matt.â you squirm and moan.
"What was that, princess?" he murmurs. He continues to circle your clit slowly and gently at first, but he increases the pace as he sees you squirm and moan, the wetness from your own arousal making it easy to glide. His other hand moves to gently grip your thigh, applying gentle pressure to spread your legs wider for him.
You cover your mouth with your hands trying to hide your moans and whimpers.
He chuckles at the futile attempt to muffle your sounds, clearly enjoying the way you struggle to contain quiet. He continues to pleasure you until he hears you stifle a moan behind your hands. "Don't hide that beautiful sound, sweetheart.â he murmurs, pulling your hands away slowly and bringing your fingers into your mouth instead. You suck on his fingers for a few seconds before he pushes them out. âI want to hear you scream my name," he says urgently, his own voice husky with desire. He moves down between your legs and replaces his fingers with his tongue, licking and sucking your clit.
âMmh oh god Matt.â you desperately moan.
"That's it, princess. Say my name." He presses his tongue firmly against your clit and hums, sending a wave of pleasure through you. The vibrations make you arch your back as he holds onto your thighs, keeping you spread open for him. He smirks against you, feeling you growing wetter against his tongue, which is clearly loving the taste of you, as he is using his fingers to part your folds even more so that he can have easier access. "You taste so fucking good, princess. I could spend hours tasting every inch of you," he murmurs against your pussy, continuing to lick and suck your clit while he slides one finger into your wet pussy.
âAhh Matt.â you moan in pain and pleasure, feeling his finger stretching you out for the first time.
"You're so fucking tight, princess. Does it hurt?" he coos, his tongue never leaving your clit. âMhmâ you nod. "Relax, princess. Just breathe," he coos, feeling your tightness around his finger. He slowly pumps it in and out, letting you get accustomed to the feeling. You keep letting out moans of pleasure and pain. He smirks against your pussy, pushing his finger deeper, crooking it to hit your g-spot. He could see the mix of pain and pleasure on your face, which made him push his finger in even deeper. "You're so tight.â He says slowly adding a second finger to the first one.
âMattâŚMatt mhh.â you whimper in pain.
âShhh. You're doing so well," His fingers curl inside you, stroking that sensitive spot, applying gentle pressure making you gasp and buck your hips. He lets out a low groan, feeling your walls clench around him. "Fuck, you're gripping me so tightly.â He groans. "You're being such a good girl, just try to breathe." He presses his tongue firmly against your clit, giving it attention as well.
Your moans of pain turn into moans of pleasure after a few minutes. âMmh mhhp.â
He smirks against your pussy, pleased with the shift in your moans. His fingers continue to pump in and out, curling and stroking that spot inside you that makes you quiver. He adds a third finger, gently stretching you further, feeling your tight walls accommodate him. "You're doing so well, taking my fingers like a good little slut." He continues to finger fuck you, making sure he's hitting your g-spot repeatedly that makes your breathing becoming erratic and your legs tremble. His tongue doesn't leave your clit, applying different kinds of pressures as he continues to suck. "You taste like heaven." He says, his fingers pumping in and out of your tight pussy, curling and stroking that sensitive spot inside you. His tongue continues to flick and suckle your clit, making you feel like you're going to explode any moment.
âMmh Matt ⌠ahh I-â
"You're almost there, aren't you?" He can feel your pussy starting to clench and flutter around his fingers. His fingers curl and stroke hard across your g-spot, making sure you're right on the edge. He sucks harder on your clit, flicking his tongue in response to the way you clench around him. "Cum for me, darling." he growls against your sensitive clit, feeling you quiver and shake around his fingers. He pumps them faster, curling them deeper inside you, hitting that spot that makes your legs tremble, making you see stars. "Come on, princess, scream for me.â Before you could finish, he suddenly pulls his fingers out of you and replaces them with his tongue. He flicks his tongue against your g-spot, feeling it quiver beneath his touch. His fingers now focus on your clit, pinching and rolling it between his thumb and index finger. You finally cum. You come undone is his mouth and fingers. You let out a scream of pleasure as you do. He pulls back his fingers and removes his mouth from your pussy, leaving you quivering. He smirks at you, his fingers coated in your juices, licking them slowly, his eyes locked onto yours.
You look at him, your body still quivering a bit, and you're trying to catch your breath.
He watches you breathe heavily, your chest rising and falling with each shallow breath. He reaches up to brush a strand of hair out of your face, his hand lingering for a moment on your cheek. "You're absolutely gorgeous when you cum." he says with a satisfied smile. He admires your glistening pussy with a satisfied smirk. He leans in close and whispers in your ear, "You taste amazing, princess." His free hand moves up to your chin, gently guiding your face to meet his. He leans down and kisses you deeply, letting you taste yourself. His tongue slips in and out of your mouth with ease, mimicking the movement of what he was just doing to you. He gently strokes your quivering inner thighs, his fingers leaving trails of heat. He pulls you onto his lap, guiding you to straddle him. His erection is prominent against his pants, straining against the fabric.
You rest your head on his chest feeling tired.
He wraps his arms around you, holding you close. He runs his fingers through your hair and presses a gentle kiss to the top of your head. He can feel your heart still racing from your intense orgasm. "You okay, princess?" He murmurs softly, his hand gently stroking your back.
âMhmâ you nod softly.
He lifts your chin up to meet his gaze, his fingers tracing your jawline. âGood." He says with a small smile. He moves you off of his lap and lays you down gently on the bed, his body following yours before he wraps you up into a spooning position. His hand comes to rest on your waist as he presses a gentle kiss to your shoulder. âDid it feel good?â He asks.
âYesâ you reply as your cheeks turn pink.
He lets out a soft chuckle, nuzzling his face into your neck, leaving a trail of kisses along your sensitive skin. âI love hearing that.â He murmurs before placing another kiss against your skin. He rests his hand against your stomach, pulling you closer. He starts to gently move his hips, pressing his erection against your ass as he grinds gently.
âMattâŚâ
He stops moving his hips, his hand stilling against your stomach. He kisses your neck gently, then whispers against your skin. âYes, princess.â
ââŚ. thank youâ you say shyly.
âNo need to thank me, doll. Itâs my pleasure.â He says with a small smile that you can feel against your skin. He turns you around to face him, his hands cradling your face. He presses a soft kiss against your lips before pulling back and looking into your eyes. He sees the exhaustion and pleasure in them and can't help but smile softly. âYou don't have to thank me, princess. Iâm your best friend, right? I would do anything for you, thatâs what best friends do.
He tilts your chin up, his thumb gently stroking your lower lip. He watches as you cuddle closer in his arms. His breath ruffling your hair and his hips gently moving, grinding against yours. But he stops himself before losing control. "We should probably get you cleaned up and in some comfortable clothes, huh?" He suggests, his voice still soft and soothing. His hand drifts down to your thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Why donât I run you a warm bath?â
âCan we stay here for a bit?â You softly ask, feeling tired.
He smiles softly, his thumb continuing to stroke your lower lip. "Of course, princess. We can stay right here." His other hand still on your thigh, he gives a gentle squeeze, his thumb rubbing small circles on your skin. He pulls a blanket over you both, tucking you in close to his side.
ââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââ
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i need some aftercare with sam!! like after a rough fuck he cleans her up and cuddles her, maybe runs her a bath?? something like that
ahhhh, iâve never written for sam before but this was such a cute lil idea!! i hope you enjoy <3
*ŕłŕź 18+
the mattress squeaks as sam slumps down next you, his body slick with sweat and his lungs pulling in deep breaths as he tries to steady his breathing, âyou alright, baby?â
he turns to you with his heavy-lidded eyes, awaiting your response, watching the little tears roll down your cheeks.
you muster up the energy to return his gaze, his eyes softening slightly as you speak, âyeah, sammy. mâalright.â
âhappy tears?â he asks, gently wiping away the few tears with his thumb, his eyes searching yours.
you nod softly against the sheets, too tired to bother speaking. you feel the need to move closer to him, so you do, your fucked out body shaking a little as you find your place in his arms.
âthatâs good, my angel. you did so well for me, you know? took me so well,â he praises quietly in your ear as his arms wrap around you, pulling you snug against his chest.
you hum in response and bury your head into his neck, searching for comfort as your warm salty tears wet his skin.
you lay together silently, your flushed sweaty bodies tangled with one another. sam rubs his hand up ân down your arm absent-mindedly trying to soothe you in your overwhelmed state.
âyou want me to clean you up, baby?â sam asks, breaking the silence after a few moments, gently brushing some of your hair back thatâs stuck against your sweaty forehead.
you hum again and nod, âyes, please.â
sam begins to pull away and get up, but your arms grab ahold of his shoulders. he looks down at you with a slightly concerned expression.
âwait,â you say quietly, âcan youâ ummâ run me a bath, sammy? mâjust a little sore.â
sam frowns at your soft confession, âyeah, of course, baby, i can do that. iâ uhh⌠i didnât hurt you, did i?â his widened eyes search yours, desperately needing reassurance that youâre alright, that he didnât hurt you.
you shake your head, lifting it to meet his gaze head-on, âno, not like that. just⌠sensitive. and maybe a little sore from your grip⌠like on my hips and stuff, but iâm okay. i promise.â
he nods, the tightness in his chest fading at your soft-spoken words. he pulls himself up off the bed and he looks down at your exhausted body, âokay⌠cause i want you to tell me if i go too far. i want you to always tell me, okay?â
âokay.â you reply simply, the expression on your face and the look in your eye speaking more than words ever could.
he lets a smile grow on his face, âgood. okay, bath time. iâll be right back, my sweet girl.â
he leans down, pressing a kiss to your forehead with that dopey little smile on his face. you watch him disappear into the bathroom, followed by the sound of splashing water filling the tub.
sam returns a moment later, the smile still on his face as he takes in your state on the bed; your body all spread out, still twitching slightly with his seed dripping out between your legs. he thinks you look beautiful. heavenly even.
âmmâkay, can you walk or do you want me to carry you in?â sam tilts his head, a cheeky soft smile dancing on his lips.
you manage to pull yourself up into a sitting position, your eyes locked onto his, âcan you carry me? i donât want to walk.â
a huff of a laugh escapes samâs mouth as he walks over to the edge of the bed, âoh, you donât want to walk, huh?â he asks incredulously and scoops you up into his arms, âwell, itâs a lucky thing iâm here then. your big strong boyfriend can carry you.â
his joking tone paired with his big strong arms wrapped around you forces a tired, yet amused, smile onto your face, âyeah, lucky me.â
he shakes his head and chuckles as he carries you bridal style into the bathroom, setting you down on the edge of the bath.
you watch as sam dips his hand into the water, testing the temperature, âhmm, alright. nice ân warm for you. another minute and itâll be full, okay?â
you nod in response, watching sam grab a small hand towel, rinsing it under the sink. he turns to you, âokay, baby. let me clean you up a little. i made a mess of you, huh, pretty girl?â
he kneels in front of you, his big hands coaxing your thighs apart as you watch him, tilting your head at the sweet boy in front of you.
sam gently wipes the warm wet cloth between your thighs, cleaning up the sticky mess of your arousal and his cum. heâs so gentle, his eyes flickering up to meet yours, almost as if heâs making sure youâre still alright.
âthere we go,â he hums with a smile and pulls back, looking you over, âall done, baby.â
âthank you,â you manage to mutter out as he throws the towel into the sink without a care.
âsâno worries, sweetheart. i did that to you, itâs only fair i clean you up, huh?â he grins at you, before leaning over and turning the water off.
âalright, can you hop in yourself or do you want your big strong boyfriend to help you again?â he asks playfully with that grin.
âi can do it, sammy,â you chuckle out breathily, sliding yourself into the water. you let out a deep sigh of relief as youâre enveloped in the warmth of the water.
sam smiles, tilting his head like a puppy as he watches you instantly relax, âgood?â
you nod up at him, âgood. thank you, sam.â
he shakes his head dismissively, âsâthe least i can do for my pretty baby.â
your cheeks heat up a little at his sweet words, your fingers tapping at the surface of the water.
âdo you want to hop in too?â you ask after a moment, your tired eyes looking into his.
âyeah, i do. i really do,â he chuckles and slides into the tub behind you, snaking his arms around your waist and pulling you back against his chest.
âmmm, i love you, my pretty girl,â he coos softly into your ear, his lips brushing against it.
you canât help the smile from spreading across your face, âi love you too, my sweet boy.â
A/N: ahhh first time writing sammy!! iâm not a sam girly but this was fun, i do love him <333
requests are open! (give me a little time, i have a few to get to ahhh!) feedback is encouraged!
reblogs support me ân my writing! <3
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Lost in Translation: Part One
Summary: Six years after Spencer Reid left you all alone in your dorm room, youâve moved on and built a new life in Virginia, becoming close friends with Derek Morgan. When Spencer unexpectedly reappears as part of Derekâs team, old feelings resurface.
Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader
Category: angst, friendly fluff
Warnings/Includes: alcohol consumption, past rejection, reflecting on past hurt, seeing the person who hurt you, Spencer still being a dumb man, talks of past hook ups
Word count: 9.2k
a/n: hiiii this is kind of a filler? it's just a lot of angst and build up for the reconciliation đ
main masterlist prologue part two part three part four
Six years later, Reid sat on the back of an ambulance, the adrenaline of the situation slowly ebbing away as medics checked him over. His hair was mussed, and his face bore bruises from the day's takedown, but his eyes were clear, focused, if a little distant. Hotch approached, relief etched across his face, but concern still lingering in his eyes as he looked down at Reid.
âI hope I didnât hurt you too badly,â Hotch said, his tone light, though laced with genuine worry.
Reid glanced up, then looked off into the distance, a wistful smile playing at the corners of his mouth. âHotch,â he said, pausing for just a moment before meeting his gaze, âI was a 12-year-old child prodigy in a Las Vegas public high school.â He let the statement hang in the air for effect before adding, âYou kick like a 9-year-old girl.â
Hotchâs serious expression cracked into a grin, the tension of the day releasing in that shared moment of humor. He gave Reid an appreciative nod, proud that even now, even after everything, he could find a way to see the light in the darkness. Theyâd taken a risk to apprehend the unsubâa risk that had paid off. The case was closed, and most importantly, Spencer was okay.
Once the team returned to Quantico, Penelope Garcia came barreling toward them like a whirlwind, eyes wide with concern as she made a beeline for Spencer.Â
âOh my God, are you okay?â she asked, fussing over him, brushing nonexistent dust off his jacket. âI heard what happened, and I nearly had a heart attack, and you know how hard I work to keep this heart in tip-top shape.â
Derek let out a chuckle, looping an arm around Spencer's shoulders and giving him a good-natured shake. âDon't worry, Baby Girl,â he said. âPretty Boy here is tougher than he looks.â
Elle stood nearby, a smirk tugging at her lips. âSo what do you say, Reid? Can we take you out for a drink to celebrate? Show you a little team bonding now that weâre back in one piece?â
The offer made Spencer stiffen, a flicker of unease passing through his eyes. He hadnât had his first drink yetânever quite found the right moment. His last encounter with alcohol flashed through his mind, from when he was still working on his PhD. He'd been at a party, talking to someone he wanted to take home... until they got too drunk and threw up on him, which put him off the idea of drinking ever since.
âUhh,â Spencer started, rubbing the back of his neck as he awkwardly shrugged Derekâs arm off. âIâm not sureââ
âNuh-uh,â Derek cut him off with a playful but firm shake of his head. âNone of that, kid. Youâre part of this team, and itâs time we show you what that means. Drinks on us. One drink wonât hurt, right?âÂ
Spencer looked between themâDerekâs grin, Elleâs teasing smile, and Penelopeâs excited noddingâand felt the reluctant pull of acceptance. They werenât going to take no for an answer, and for a moment, he let himself relax. Maybe a night out with the team wouldn't be so bad.
The bar was loud and buzzing with life. The team was clustered around a table, drinks in hand, and the mood was light, almost celebratory. Laughter echoed over clinking glasses as Derek teased Spencer about finally being out for drinks, Elle and JJ swapped jokes, and Hotch even cracked a rare smile as Penelope regaled everyone with her overly-dramatic reenactment of their last case. Spencer found himself laughing along, more relaxed than he thought heâd be, though he stayed firmly planted with his untouched glass of club soda.
Amid the fun, Derek's phone buzzed loudly, and he stood to answer it, holding up a hand to excuse himself. âHold that thought, guys,â he said, flashing his signature grin as he walked a little away from the table, pressing the phone to his ear. The team continued their conversation, only pausing when Derek returned, looking apologetic.
âSorry, guys,â he said, tucking his phone into his back pocket. âMy lady is in distress; I gotta go rescue her from a bad date.â
That earned a round of good-natured chuckles from the team. Elle raised an eyebrow, asking, âNeed us to come with, knight in shining armor?â
But Spencer, the one to always take things literally, frowned in confusion. âYour girlfriend is on a date with someone else?â he asked, tilting his head like he was trying to figure out a complex puzzle.
That only made everyone laugh harder, JJ practically doubling over and Hotch shaking his head with amusement. Derek just clapped Spencer on the back, his chuckle deep and hearty.Â
Penelope, ever the playful dramatist, wiped away an imaginary tear. âAs much as it pains me that my Chocolate Thunder has another woman in his life,â she sighed, draping an arm dramatically over her forehead, âthatâs his best friend, not his girlfriend. Heâs just playing superhero tonight.â
âYeah, sheâs just my little lady,â Derek explained, still smiling as he grabbed his jacket from the back of his chair. âAnd trust me, she needs saving from some pretty questionable dates.â
Spencer nodded slowly, his eyes darting around as if processing this new piece of social information, a small âohhhâ escaping his lips as he finally understood. The rest of the team just laughed and clinked their glasses together, waving Derek off as he headed out to play the role of rescuer once again.
â
You smiled awkwardly, forcing a laugh as you tapped your foot under the table, hoping the nervous rhythm would hide your growing discomfort. Across from you, your date sat with an overly self-satisfied grin, clearly pleased with themselves for whatever joke theyâd just told.Â
âFunny, right?â they said, leaning back confidently, their voice loud enough to make a few heads turn.
âMhm,â you nodded, plastering on your best smile, the kind youâd practiced for uncomfortable situations just like this. âSo funny.âÂ
The date was dragging on, each minute feeling like an hour, and you kept glancing at the exit, hoping for some way to end it without seeming rude. You were running out of excuses when finally, you heard a familiar, steady voice that filled you with instant relief.
âY/N! Baby!â Derekâs voice boomed from behind you, his face contorted into a fake, but convincingly angry, expression as he made his way over to your table. âItâs time to go,â he said through gritted teeth, playing the role perfectly.
âOh my god,â you gasped, exaggerating your surprise as you quickly gathered your things, casting a regretful glance at your bewildered date. âSorry, I have toâum, gotta go, you know how it is.â
âNow,â Derek growled, his eyes flashing dangerously as he reached for your arm with a protective grip. You couldnât help the grin tugging at your lips as he pulled you away, your heart racing with gratitude at how he always showed up just in time to save you from situations exactly like this.
As soon as the two of you stepped outside, you burst into laughter, the tension from the horrible date evaporating with each breathless chuckle. âWhat was that?â you cried out in amusement, doubling over as you tried to catch your breath.
Derek grinned, looking far too pleased with himself. âI thought it would be funny to make it look like you were cheating on me,â he said, a mischievous twinkle in his eye.
You laughed again, shaking your head as you nudged him playfully. âWow, thanks, Derek. Thatâs just great! Iâm sure they think Iâm a horrible person now.â
âBetter they think that than you being stuck in there any longer,â he teased, shrugging playfully. âBesides, who wouldnât want to believe they were dating me?â He gave a mock-innocent smile, and you couldn't help but laugh harder, grateful that your night had turned from painfully awkward to genuinely funâall thanks to your "knight" in his shining sense of humor.
â
After graduation, you packed up and moved to Virginia, seeking a fresh start and the next chapter of your life. It didnât take long for you to meet Derek Morganâcharismatic, warm, and the kind of person who instantly made you feel like youâd known each other forever. Quickly, you were inseparable, your friendship deepening with every shared joke, every late-night conversation.
When you first met Derek, it wasnât at a bar, but in the paint aisle of a hardware store. He was standing there, staring at the rows of paint swatches like they might leap off the shelf and attack him, clearly out of his element. You, meanwhile, were lost in your shopping list, trying to mentally organize what you needed. It wasnât until you absentmindedly turned and bumped into him, sending a few swatches fluttering to the floor, that either of you spoke.
âOh, sorry!â you said, laughing awkwardly as you bent to pick up the fallen cards. âI didnât see you there.â
âNo problem,â Derek replied with a chuckle, scratching the back of his head. âThough, I think I need all the help I can get. You know anything about paint? âCause Iâm pretty sure these swatches are written in a different language.â
You hesitated for a moment, glancing at the paint chips in his hand. Normally, youâd have kept to yourself, but something about his friendly demeanor made it easy to offer help. âWell,â you said, pointing at the colors, âif youâre looking for something neutral but warm, Iâd go with this one. Itâs versatile, and wonât make the room feel too dark.â
Derek grinned, visibly relieved. âI like the way you think. You mightâve just saved me from turning my place into a disaster.â
That lighthearted, slightly awkward interaction became the start of an unexpected friendship. You didnât realize it then, but Derek saw more than just someone who could offer advice on paint. He noticed the cautious way you carried yourself, the hesitation in your voice, and the guarded way you held back, even in a simple conversation. It was subtle, but Derek could sense itâthat you were someone who had been hurt, someone who was used to keeping people at armâs length.
It was in that moment, after you helped him, that Derek decided he wasnât going to let you disappear into the background. He saw someone who needed a friend, even if you didnât know it yet, and he was determined to be that person for you.
He pushed his way into your world, piece by piece, until you found yourself leaning on him, confiding in him, and letting him be the kind of friend you never thought you'd find again. Derek was determined to be there for you, and in a way you never saw coming, he had become the person who would stand by you, even when you were reluctant to let him in.
Over time, you confided in Derek about your college heartbreak, sharing all the hurt, the confusion, and the sense of betrayal that still lingered. You never mentioned names, thoughâthe pain was still too raw, and you couldnât bring yourself to talk about it in more detail than necessary. Derek listened, always understanding, never pressing for more than you were ready to share. He knew when to joke to make you laugh and when to sit in silence to let you breathe.
At first, the attraction between you and Derek was undeniable. His charming smile, his confidenceâit was easy to get lost in that. One night, curiosity and chemistry got the better of you both, and you found yourselves in a brief, passionate rendezvous. But once the moment passed, you both realized that while there was undeniable physical chemistry, the emotional spark that would take you beyond a fling wasnât there.
So, you stayed friendsâreally good friends. And it was a decision that felt right. Derek became your closest companion, someone you trusted deeply, someone who knew all of you without needing to be anything more than your best friend. And from then on, your bond was stronger than any attraction that had once been between you.
Derek had always been eager to introduce you to his team, his âfamily,â as he called them. But every time he brought it up, you found yourself hesitant, a lingering anxiety wrapping tightly around your chest. The thought of meeting a group of strangers made your pulse quicken, and after what happened with Spencer, you found it hard to let people inâafraid that theyâd get close only to walk out when you finally let your guard down.
But Derek was persistent. Heâd reassure you that theyâd love you, that they were good people, that theyâd make you feel right at home. And after months of coaxing, he finally wore you down. So on the night he arranged for everyone to meet at a bar, you arrived early, nerves buzzing through you as you kept fidgeting with your glass of water, the ice clinking noisily. Derek sat beside you, his hand casually draped over the back of your chair, giving you little reassuring nudges and playful teasing to calm you down.Â
It wasnât long before they arrivedâElle, JJ, Hotch, and Penelope. They came in together, the energy between them electric and warm, like a group who had seen each other through everything and then some. You felt the weight of their eyes on you as Derek quickly waved them over, and before you knew it, introductions were happening all at once.Â
Elle, with her steady, confident smile. JJ, kind and instantly friendly, making you feel a little more at ease. Hotch was reserved but polite, offering you a nod that felt more comforting than intimidating. And Penelopeâbright, enthusiastic, and full of lifeâimmediately pulled you into a hug that you didnât quite expect but somehow needed.
âWelcome to the team... kinda!â Penelope laughed, pulling back to look you up and down, her eyes sparkling with excitement. âIâve heard so much about you.â
The team was warm, and their humor put you at ease more than you expected. âDerek told me you were gorgeous, but wow!â Penelope said, grinning as she gestured to your outfit. âHe did not do you justice! I should've known heâd undersell a masterpiece.â
You blushed, ducking your head, and Derek rolled his eyes playfully. âOh, come on, Garcia, now youâre just making her nervous,â he said, leaning back in his chair, clearly enjoying the playful teasing.
âSomeone has to make up for your terrible intro,â Elle joked, raising her drink in your direction. âHe probably didnât even tell you our names before dragging you here, did he?â
âWell, actuallyââ you started to defend him, but JJ leaned in with a grin.
âOh, he probably did,â she said, flashing a knowing smile. âBut did he tell you the good stuff? Because Hotch over here is not just any team leaderâheâs secretly a rock star at karaoke.â
Hotch looked up from his drink, arching an eyebrow with mock disapproval. âSecretly, JJ?â he said dryly. âIf I remember correctly, you were the one who signed us all up for âLivinâ on a Prayerâ last time.â
The conversation flowed smoothly, light and airy, with everyone sharing bits of their day and funny anecdotes about past cases. You were finally feeling like you could relax, laughing along with the team and even chiming in here and there. Penelope asked about your work, Hotch teased Derek about his dedication to âfitness,â and JJ leaned in with questions about your interests, trying to make you feel comfortable.
Then Elle, who had been quietly observing, tilted her head with a curious smile. âSo, Y/N,â she said, her eyes twinkling with humor, âwe heard Derek had to save you from a bad date last week.â
A groan escaped you before you could help it, and Derek let out a bark of laughter beside you. âOh, man, donât make her relive that nightmare,â he said, shaking his head.
âNo, no, itâs okay,â you said, smiling despite yourself as all eyes turned to you, eager for details. âI mean... yeah, I was on a pretty terrible date. The kind where you just... start praying for a natural disaster to get you out of there.â
Penelope gasped, holding a hand to her heart. âSpill! What happened?â
âOkay, okay,â you said, waving your hands, âSo Iâm sitting there, right? And this personâwell, letâs just say they were a little too confident. They started cracking all these jokes that were... I mean, I think they thought they were funny, but they were more like... really weird stand-up comedy? And then, out of nowhere, they start quizzing me on, like, the most random trivia ever.â
JJ snorted into her drink. âLike what?â
âLike, âWhatâs the capital of Paraguay?ââ you said, imitating your dateâs deep, overly-serious tone. âAnd when I didnât know, he looked at me like I just insulted his whole family.â
The whole table burst into laughter, and Derek shook his head, leaning back with a smirk. âSee, I told youâyou dodged a bullet there, lady.â
âAnd thatâs where Derek came in,â you continued, grinning. âHe stormed in, looking like an angry boyfriend ready to throw down, and said âBaby, we gotta goânow.â Scared the poor chap half to death.â
âThatâs my Derek,â Elle said, raising her glass in a toast.
You shrugged with a playful smile. âGotta admit, it was a pretty solid rescue.â
Penelopeâs eyes shone as she giggled, âI wish I knew I could call on Derek every time I get stuck on a boring date. Youâre lucky you used it!â
âYeah,â you said, your smile turning genuine as you looked over at Derek, who just winked at you. âI am lucky.â
You felt the anxiety still fluttering inside but found yourself starting to relax in the presence of their welcoming smiles. Maybe Derek was rightâmaybe this could be the start of something good.
But that thought was ruined the moment Spencer walked into the bar, a wave of panic hit you like a tidal wave, your pulse spiking as you leaned into Derek, whispering frantically, âThatâs the guy!â
âWhat guy?â Derek asked, his brow furrowing in concern as he leaned closer.
âThe guy from college! The one who led me on? Smashed and dashed? Broke my heart?â
Derekâs eyes went wide as the realization hit him, and he started to push up his sleeves, his expression shifting from confusion to determination. âOh shit. Which one? I need to go have a little chat with this asshole.â
âThat one!â you pointed discreetly, your voice tight with urgency. âString bean, 10 oâclock.â
Derekâs gaze followed your finger, his mouth opening in disbelief. âSpencer?â
âWait,â you froze, eyes darting between Derek and Spencer. âHow do you know Spencer?â
Derek blinked rapidly, running a hand over his face. âNo way. No fucking way.â
âWhat, Derek, what?â you asked, anxiety gnawing at your insides.
âDerek, whatâs going on?â Elle asked, noticing the tension suddenly spiking at the table.
But before either of you could explain, Spencer was already walking toward your group. And without hesitation, Derek shouted across the room, loud enough for the whole bar to hear, âSpencer Reid, you whore!â
The bar fell into stunned silence, every conversation dropping as heads turned toward Derek and then to Spencer, who froze mid-step. The confused, panicked look on Spencerâs face was mirrored by the team around you, all of them staring at Derek as if waiting for some kind of explanation.Â
But none of that mattered, because the second Derekâs words hung in the air, you felt like you were going to combust. Your chest tightened, your ears burned, and you needed to escapeânow.Â
You couldnât bear the sight of Spencer standing there, eyes wide and confused, especially not when he looked so goodâhis curls a bit longer, his frame more filled out but still carrying that awkwardly endearing energy you remembered all too well. It only made the hurt twist deeper in your chest, the flood of memories rushing back as if no time had passed at all.
Before anyone could say a word, you bolted out of your seat, practically running toward the exit, your breaths coming in shallow gasps as you pushed through the door, away from the memories, the hurt, and the undeniable pull that Spencer still seemed to have on you.
After Derekâs loud declaration, the team was left bumbling in confusion, their chatter overlapping as they tried to make sense of what had just happened.
âWait, what did you just say?â JJ asked, her eyes darting between Derek and Spencer, trying to catch up.Â
âDid you just call Reid a whore?â Elle added, her voice rising with disbelief.
Hotch's expression hardened with concern and confusion, his eyes narrowing at Derek. âCare to explain whatâs going on here?â
Meanwhile, Penelopeâs gaze darted frantically between you, Derek, and the stunned Spencer, her mouth hanging open as if trying to piece together a puzzle with half the pieces missing. âOkay, someone fill me in, because this is getting juicyââ
Through it all, Derekâs eyes were locked on Spencer like a hawk eyeing its prey, shoulders squared, jaw tight, and very ready to pounce. Spencer was still standing frozen in place, his expression an awkward mix of shock, confusion, and nowâseeing Derekâs glareâgenuine fear. He didnât know whether to step forward, run, or explain himself. It was as if the whole bar had gone silent, the weight of everyone's eyes pressing down on him like a spotlight he couldnât escape.
âPretty boy,â Derek said, his voice low and almost menacing as he kept his eyes locked on Spencer. The tension between them was palpable, the friendly atmosphere of moments ago evaporating into something heavy and dangerous. âOver here. Now.â
Spencer swallowed hard, glancing around the bar as if trying to find an escape route, but there was noneâjust the teamâs bewildered faces and Derekâs unwavering stare. Slowly, hesitantly, he started walking toward the table, his eyes darting nervously between the team and Derek, clearly aware that whatever was going on was about to explode.Â
The whole team was silent, eyes wide as they watched the confrontation unfold, utterly confused but drawn in, unable to look away.
âWhatâs going on, Derek?â Spencerâs voice came out weak, barely holding it together as he stood awkwardly in front of the table, hands fidgeting at his sides. He glanced nervously at Derekâs clenched jaw, clearly realizing this wasnât just some joke he wasnât in on.
Derek huffed, his eyes narrowing further as he stood up to step closer to Spencer, his presence towering over him. âY/N Y/L,â he said, the name coming out like a loaded accusation. âRing a bell?â
The color drained from Spencerâs face, his expression shifting from confusion to sheer panic. Of course, he knew that name. He knew it wellâheâd never forgotten. You never gave him your full name, but that hadnât stopped him from wanting to know everything about you after that night. And so, in a moment of curiosity, guilt, and longing, heâd used his professor access to look you up in the university directory, hoping to learn more, hoping to... maybe reach out. But he'd never followed through, instead burying that memory deep, where he thought it would stay forever.
Now, that past had clawed its way to the surface. Spencer gulped, eyes wide, his voice coming out as a barely audible mumble. âUm... why?â
The whole teamâs heads bobbed back and forth between the two men like they were watching a tennis match, confusion written all over their faces. JJâs brow furrowed in disbelief, Elle leaned forward as if ready to pounce on whatever truth was about to spill out, and Penelopeâs eyes sparkled with intrigue, biting back a question to let the moment unfold.
âBecause she was just sitting here,â Derek said, his voice darkening with barely contained anger, âand when you walked in, she ran out.â
The weight of his words dropped like a bomb, and the teamâs eyes widened in sudden understanding. It took a moment for the pieces to fall into place, but when they did, the tension in the air became almost suffocating.
âWait...â Elle gasped, covering her mouth with her hand as the realization hit her. âIs that what Y/N was whispering about?â
JJ's eyes darted to Spencer, shock and disappointment painted across her face. âOh my god, Spencer!â she exclaimed, her voice rising above the din of the bar. âWhat did you do?â
Spencer's head hung low, his face pale as all eyes landed on him, his teammates' judgment clear in their expressions. He opened his mouth to respond, but no words came outâhe was caught between the truth, the shame, and the past heâd tried so hard to forget.
The tall man let out a long breath and sat down heavily at the table, facing the expectant and confused gazes of his team. He hesitated, struggling to find the right words, the truth weighed down by layers of regret and fear. But there was no hiding from this now, and he knew he had to explain.
âI... I didnât really talk about this before, but during my PhD days, I had a bit of a... busy intimate life,â he started, his voice low and wavering. He avoided eye contact, staring at the table like he could find his words hidden in the wood grain. âI was young, and it was my first time experiencing freedom like that. There were a lot of... flings, one-time things. A lot of people came and went.â
The team remained silent, eyes fixed on him, soaking in every word. Hotch sat back with his arms crossed, his face unreadable, while JJ and Penelope exchanged a shocked glance. Elle leaned in, not wanting to miss a single detail.
âAnd then I met Y/N,â Spencer continued, a small, wistful smile ghosting over his lips at the memory. âWe started out just... bumping into each other, especially in the library. Thursdays became our thing, and before I knew it, we were friendsâreal friends. And I... I fell for her, hard.â
Derekâs jaw tightened as Spencer spoke, clearly trying to hold his tongue. But he stayed silent, trying to remain calm and listen, though his knuckles turned white as he gripped the edge of the table.
âOne night, before the summer break, we hung out and... well, things got intimate,â Spencer confessed, his voice trailing off as if he could still remember every detail of that night. âBut then, afterward, I... panicked. Iâd been left before by people who only wanted one thing, and I was so sure Y/N would do the same. So I left before she could leave me. I thought I was protecting myself.â
The silence that followed was heavy, the team processing everything theyâd just heard. Penelopeâs mouth hung open in disbelief, and JJâs face was a mix of understanding and disappointment. Elle just stared, eyes wide as she tried to piece together this new side of Spencer she had never seen before.
Derek leaned back, trying to take deep breaths to stay objective, but it was clear he was struggling to reconcile this side of Spencer with the man he knewâand with your story, the pain you'd carried for so long.
Finally, the silence broke when Elle, still processing everything, blurted out, âI thought you were a virgin.â
The unexpected comment drew a stifled chuckle from Hotch, who quickly tried to cover it with a cough, shaking his head as he glanced away to regain his composure. Spencer shot a look of offense around the table, his cheeks turning red from embarrassment.
âThatâs not the point,â Derek said sharply, steering the conversation back to its heart. His tone softened but stayed firm. âYou broke her heart, kid.â
Spencerâs expression crumbled with shame, his eyes dropping to his hands fidgeting in his lap. âI... I didnât know that,â he said quietly, sounding more vulnerable than any of them had ever heard him. âShe was... she was here? Tonight?â
Penelope nodded solemnly, her usually bright demeanor clouded with concern. âYeah, she was sitting right with us,â she said gently. âShe ran out. Spencer, she ran right past you.âÂ
Spencerâs face fell, the weight of what heâd done settling heavily on his shoulders as he replayed the moment in his mindâthe stranger rushing past, too fast for him to recognize, too wrapped in his own world to realize the depth of pain he had caused.
â
Flashback
After you fell asleep with your head resting on Spencerâs chest, he stayed awake, propped up on one arm, his other hand idly tracing shapes on your back. The rise and fall of your gentle breaths sent soft puffs of warmth against his skin, and the sound of your slow, even breathing filled the quiet room. Spencer watched you with a tender smile on his face, his heart swelling with every peaceful sigh you let out.
For that moment, everything was perfectâthe warmth of your body against his, the soft glow of the moonlight through the window, and the quiet intimacy of sharing a bed after everything that had happened between you. He couldn't help but let his thoughts wander, to imagine waking up like this every morning, to imagine the rest of his life with you beside him, sharing sleepy smiles and whispered secrets in the quiet of dawn.
And that's when the panic hit.
The thought of getting so close to you, of letting his heart fall so fully and completely for you, terrified him. He had spent so long protecting himself, closing off his emotions to keep from being hurt, that the idea of letting you in was too overwhelming. He was sure that, like everyone else, youâd leave, and he didn't think he could handle the pain if it came from you. He felt the fear grip him tight, his pulse quickening as he realized what it meantâthat he had to go, now, before he fell any deeper.
As much as it broke his heart, Spencer carefully slipped out from under you, moving inch by inch to keep from waking you. But when he finally pulled away, your face scrunched up in your sleep, and your arm reached out instinctively, searching for the place he had just been. The sight nearly broke him, and for a moment, he almost crawled back into bed, almost let himself stay.
But the fear was stronger. He left, quietly slipping out into the dark, knowing he would never see you again, knowing that the one chance at something real was lost the second he closed that door behind him.
â
As soon as you got home, you collapsed onto your bed, the soft sheets barely registering beneath you as you clung to a pillow, burying your face in it. The tears came fast, heavy sobs shaking your body as the weight of everything youâd been holding in finally poured out. Memories of Spencer rushed back in a floodâthe way heâd held you, the tender words heâd whispered in the quiet of the night, and the intimacy you had shared.
You knew, even before it happened, that sleeping with him was a mistake. Youâd told yourself as much a thousand times. But the moment he left you, without so much as a word afterward, it felt like that final blow to your heartâconfirming everything you feared. The pain of being abandoned, of realizing that maybe you had meant nothing to him after all, tore at you with a fierceness that left you breathless. You hugged the pillow tighter, the softness no comfort to the ache inside.
You cried yourself to sleep that night, every emotion too overwhelming to bear. The embarrassment of bolting from the bar in front of Spencerâs team, the fear of realizing he was now part of your immediate circle, and the deep grief over what could have been. It was too much. The tears had left your eyes swollen and your throat raw, your body exhausted from the turmoil swirling inside you.
When you woke the next morning, groggy and disoriented, the sound of your phone buzzing pulled you from the comfort of sleep. Fumbling for it, you squinted at the screen before bringing it to your ear, your voice thick with sleep. âHello?â you managed, slurred through the haze of morning grogginess.
âHey, baby,â Derekâs familiar, warm voice sighed through the line. âIâm at your door with tea. Let me in?â
A disgruntled huff escaped you, not exactly ready to face the day, but you still dragged yourself out of bed. You padded over to the door and opened it, finding Derek standing there with two cups of tea and a look of understanding. Without saying a word, you took the cup he offered, wrapping your hands around the warmth and letting it soothe the ache in your chest as you sipped.
Wordlessly, the two of you made your way to your tiny balcony, the fresh morning air brushing softly against your skin. You both settled into the cozy, cushioned nookâDerekâs arm draped over your shoulder as you leaned into his warmth. The silence stretched between you, comfortable and unpressured. Derek didnât push you to speak, letting you take your time, knowing you needed the quiet after everything.
For a long while, the soft hum of the city below and the gentle sway of plants on your balcony were the only sounds filling the space. It wasnât until youâd both nearly finished your tea that Derek finally spoke.
âDo you want to talk about it?â he asked, his voice soft but filled with care, his gaze watching you carefully, ready to listen.
You sighed heavily, your fingers tightening around the warm ceramic of your mug. âI never thought Iâd see him again,â you admitted, shaking your head as you tried to process the shock of it all. âWhat are the odds?â
Derek, ever the one to lighten the mood, snorted softly. âI bet Spencer would know the answer to that,â he quipped, a small grin tugging at his lips.
You turned to glare at him, shooting him a look that clearly said not funny. Derek raised his hands in surrender, his grin faltering. âSorry. Too soon?â
You nodded, sighing as you leaned back into the cushions. âItâs always too soon with... him,â you said, your voice weighed down by all the unspoken emotions you hadnât yet unpacked.
Derek shifted beside you, the teasing gone from his expression now as he grew serious again. âHe told us what happened, you know?â he said quietly, as if trying not to make it worse but knowing you had to hear it.
Your chest tightened at the thought, embarrassment rising again. âGreat,â you muttered, your voice tinged with bitterness. âThatâs even more humiliating. The entire team knows now?â
âYeah,â Derek admitted softly, nodding as he looked at you with sympathy. âBut they also know it was him who messed up, not you.â
You stared down into your cup, feeling the sting of tears welling up again, threatening to spill over. The warmth of Derek beside you was a comfort, but it wasnât enough to lift the heavy burden pressing on your chest. His words, meant to soothe, only left you feeling more confused, more vulnerable.
âWhat do you mean?â you asked softly, barely above a whisper, your voice shaky with emotion. You didnât dare look up, afraid that making eye contact would break the fragile barrier keeping the tears at bay.
Derek took a deep breath, shifting slightly as if choosing his words carefully. âAt the bar, after you ran out... Spencer sat down with the team, and we... we didnât know what was going on at first. So we asked.â
You finally looked up at him, your brows furrowing slightly, a mix of anticipation and dread building in your stomach.
âHe told us about his time during his PhD,â Derek continued gently, his voice calm, as if he was trying to soften the blow. âSaid he... he slept around a lot back then, had a lot of one-night things, you know? And then he met you. Told us how you two became friends, how it wasnât like the other times.â
Your heart clenched at his words. Hearing it from Derek made it real in a way that felt almost unbearable. You squeezed your mug tighter, the warmth doing nothing to soothe the ache in your chest.
âHe said after you two slept together,â Derek went on, âhe panicked. Thought youâd leave him, like everyone else had. So he left first.â
You blinked rapidly, trying to keep your tears from spilling, but it was no use. You could feel the sharp sting in your throat, the familiar ache of heartache you thought youâd buried long ago. âHe left because he thought Iâd leave?â you asked, your voice thick with disbelief and hurt.
Derek nodded, his eyes full of sympathy. âYeah... He thought he was protecting himself. But, obviously, he regrets it now.â
You didnât know how to respond. The conflicting emotionsâanger, sadness, confusionâswirled inside you, leaving you breathless. Spencer had left because he was afraid of losing you, and in doing so, he broke you. And now, all these years later, you were supposed to find comfort in knowing he regretted it?
âSo thatâs why he never... reached out?â you whispered, more to yourself than to Derek.
âYeah,â Derek said softly. âHe was scared. Scared that youâd see him like all the others didâsomeone to use and then leave.â
âBasically, heâs a coward and a moron?â you asked, your voice flat but sharp with anger, needing to hear it said out loud to fully grasp the ridiculousness of it all.
Derek chuckled softly, a wry smile pulling at his lips. âYup. That sums it up,â he said, rubbing your arm in slow, soothing circles. His voice remained calm, but he could sense the storm brewing inside you. âDo you think youâll want to see him again?â
âFuck no,â you snapped without hesitation, the words coming out harsher than you expected, but you didnât care. âHe ruined any chance he had with me. He broke my heart, and all because he was scared?â The bitterness in your voice rose as the anger bubbled to the surface, mixing with the lingering pain. âI hate him.â
Derekâs smile faded into something softer, more sympathetic as he listened to you vent. He could feel the intensity of your emotions, the raw hurt that still lingered beneath the surface. But he didnât push you further, just stayed close, offering his quiet support.
âI get it,â he said softly. âYouâre allowed to be mad, to feel all of it.â
You nodded, though the tears were already blurring your vision again. The anger felt good, cathartic in a way, but it didnât take away the hurt. Spencer had shattered something inside you, and no explanation, no regret from him could change that.
Derek stayed with you for the rest of the day, determined to lift your spirits and bring some lightness back into the heavy atmosphere that had settled over you. After the emotional morning, he suggested a change of paceâa "no more thinking about him" kind of day.
The two of you moved back inside, and after raiding your fridge, you ended up sprawled out on the couch with a pile of snacks between you. Derek flipped through channels until he landed on an old action movie, something so absurd and over-the-top it was impossible not to laugh at the cheesy explosions and dramatic one-liners.
As the movie played in the background, you both sat there, munching on chips and teasing each other. âIf I ever get into a high-speed chase, Iâll make sure to drive into an alley with just enough space for me to barely escape, but the bad guys canât,â Derek quipped, waving a chip in the air like it was his master plan.
âObviously,â you laughed, nudging him with your shoulder. âBecause clearly, thatâs what makes you invincible.â
âOh, Iâm invincible, baby,â Derek grinned, flexing his arm dramatically. âI donât need an alley to escape the bad guys.â
You rolled your eyes, laughing at his theatrics. âYeah, yeah. Weâll see how âinvincibleâ you are next time you try to carry all the grocery bags at once and drop the eggs.â
Derek clutched his chest in mock horror. âLow blow, Y/N. You know I was saving us from multiple trips.â
âSure, sure,â you teased, tossing a chip at him. âWhatever helps you sleep at night, Mr. Invincible.â
He caught the chip mid-air and popped it into his mouth, smirking as he chewed. âNot everyone can be as perfect as you, baby.â
The day passed in a blur of easy conversation, laughter, and moments of comfortable silence. Derek didnât push you to talk about anything heavy, and the weight that had sat on your chest all morning began to lift, replaced with the warmth of knowing you had a friend who could make you forget the world for a little while.
By the end of the day, you were curled up under a blanket, feeling lighter than you had in days.
â
âDerek!â Spencer called out, jogging to catch up just as Derek was waiting for the elevator. His breath was a little ragged, his urgency clear. He needed to talk, needed to know.
Derek turned, his eyes scanning Spencerâs face, reading the familiar mix of emotions. He had softened toward Spencer since the initial blow-up, knowing that his friend was hurting too. Spencer had made a mess of things, but he was still one of Derekâs closest friends, and Derek couldnât ignore his struggle.
âSup, Reid?â Derek greeted casually, though there was a layer of understanding beneath the light tone.
âHi, um,â Spencer panted, catching his breath from the jog. âDid you see Y/N again this weekend?â
Derek nodded, his expression softening even further. âYeah, I did.â
Spencerâs eyes flickered with hope and uncertainty, hesitating before speaking again. He clearly wanted to ask more, but the words seemed caught in his throat. Derek saw the struggle and decided to give him an out.
"Come on, man. Letâs grab a drink," Derek offered, nodding toward the door as the elevator opened. He knew this conversation was going to be heavier than a quick exchange by the elevators.
A little while later, the two of them were sitting side by side at the bar. Their beers sat untouched, the weight of their conversation lingering between them. Spencer had been unusually quiet all night, his usual rambling replaced by a tension that had been hanging over him since he saw you again.
âSo,â Spencer began cautiously, his fingers tracing the rim of his glass as if the movement could steady his thoughts. âUh... howâs Y/N been?â
Derek exhaled, setting his beer down with a quiet thud. He hated being caught in the middle of this, but Spencerâs eyes were so full of uncertainty, so full of regret, that Derek couldnât ignore the question. He had to be honest. âSheâs... doing alright,â Derek said carefully, trying not to reveal too much. âKeeping busy. Working on some new projects.â
Spencerâs shoulders relaxed a fraction, and he nodded slowly. âThatâs good,â he muttered, though the slight tremble in his voice betrayed just how much hearing about you affected him.Â
âWhat, uh, what does she do for work?â Spencer asked, his fingers nervously twisting the beer bottle in his hand, his gaze avoiding Derek's for a moment.
Derek sighed, knowing exactly where this conversation was heading but humoring Spencer for now. âSheâs an interior designer.â
âOh, cool,â Spencer muttered, nodding absently, still twirling his beer. There was a beat of silence before he asked, âHow did you two meet?â
Derek smiled at the memory, a small chuckle escaping him. âWe ran into each other, literally, at a hardware store. I was standing there, staring at paint, and she bumped into me. She ended up helping me pick out a paint color for my walls, and, well, the rest is history.â
âThatâs nice,â Spencer said, his voice quieter now, as if he was picturing the scene in his mind. âShe, uh, she likes it? The job, I mean?â
âShe loves it,â Derek replied with a soft smile, thinking about how passionate you were whenever you talked about your latest project. It was clear how much joy your work brought you, and Derek admired that.
The conversation hovered for a moment, Spencer swirling the beer in his hand, staring into the golden liquid as if it might hold the answers he was looking for. He didnât dare ask the question that was lingering on the tip of his tongueâDoes she ever talk about me?âbut Derek could feel it hanging in the air between them, thick with unspoken regret.
Derek leaned back, exhaling softly. He knew Spencer was desperate for some sign, some hope, but he also knew you hadnât mentioned Spencer much since the first time you told Derek about him, and this most recent run-in.Â
But Derek couldnât lie, and he wasnât about to give Spencer any false hope. âShe doesnât want to see you, Spencer,â Derek said gently, watching the way Spencerâs expression crumbled, the tiny shred of hope slipping through his fingers. âSheâs... still hurt.â
Spencer swallowed hard, his gaze dropping to the table. When he spoke, his voice was barely a whisper, full of regret and guilt. âI know.â
â
The Humane Society was always a favorite outing for you two, mostly because Derek loved the idea of being surrounded by dogs, and you were more than happy to tag along to play with the animals.
You knelt down by one of the cages, your fingers scratching behind the ears of a little brown puppy with floppy ears and bright eyes. âYou are too cute,â you cooed, watching as the puppy wagged its tail excitedly. âHow is it that I've managed to leave here every time without adopting?â
Derek was busy with a scrappy terrier, laughing as the dog tugged at his shoelaces. âBecause Iâm here to remind you that you have plants youâve barely managed to keep alive.â
âLow blow,â you snickered, standing up to join him. âBut I could definitely handle one of these guys. Look at their little faces!â
Derek raised an eyebrow, his smile teasing. âYeah, you say that now, but when youâre knee-deep in chewed shoes and puppy accidents, youâll be texting me to dog-sit.â
You grinned, nudging his arm as the two of you continued walking down the row of cages. âI think we both know youâd love it.â
âOkay, maybe,â Derek admitted, glancing down at one of the puppies that had followed you to the edge of its cage. âBut only because Iâd get to play with them all day.â
âExactly.â You shot him a grin. The day was filled with laughter and excitement, the two of you in your elementâjust two friends enjoying the company of animals and each other.
â
Derek was in the bullpen when he felt Spencer approach, that familiar presence hovering like a shadow. He looked up from his paperwork, knowing exactly what was coming.
âHey,â Spencer said, his voice quieter than usual. âCan I ask... has Y/N said anything?â
Derek leaned back in his chair, folding his arms across his chest. âReid, man, Iâve told youâshe doesnât want to talk about it.â
Spencerâs brow furrowed, frustration bubbling beneath the surface. âI just... I donât understand how I couldâve hurt her this much. I didnât think...â He trailed off, unsure of how to explain his regret without making excuses.
Derek rubbed a hand over his face, torn between wanting to protect you and wanting Spencer to see the bigger picture. âLook, I get that you didnât mean to hurt her. But man, youâve got to understandâshe trusted you. And when you left, it wasnât just about what happened back then. Itâs about the fact that you walked away without a word.â
Spencer blinked, absorbing the weight of Derekâs words. âI didnât know it would be this bad,â he whispered.
Derek shook his head slightly, his voice firm but not unkind. âThatâs the problem, Spencer. You never thought about what itâd do to her. She wasnât just mad. She was heartbroken.â
â
The sun was warm, and the cafĂŠâs outdoor seating was just breezy enough to make the day feel perfect. You and Derek sat across from each other, laughing over your latest failed online shopping attempts.
âI swear, I ordered a rug, and it looked like it belonged in a dollhouse when it arrived,â you groaned, rolling your eyes dramatically. Derek threw his head back with a laugh, shaking his head in disbelief.
âY/N, at this point, you should just let me handle your shopping. Your luck is terrible,â he teased, sipping his iced coffee.
âDonât even try, Morgan. I canât be trusted to order anything online, but Iâm a wizard in an actual store.â You wagged a finger at him before diving into your sandwich. âBesides, you love dragging me around for advice.â
âYeah, okay,â Derek grinned, âbut weâre heading to the home goods store after this. No more rugs, though. Promise me.â
You smirked. âNo promises. Letâs see where the wind takes us.â
The rest of the day was filled with easy banter as you roamed the aisles of a nearby store, pointing out throw pillows and quirky decor that caught your eye. Derek kept up the playful commentary, pretending to be appalled at your taste, but you could tell he was having just as much fun as you were.
At one point, he held up a neon-green lamp, his face mock-serious. âThis. This is the statement piece your living room has been missing.â
âOh my god, put that down before it blinds me,â you laughed, shoving him playfully as you moved on to the next aisle.
â
Penelope, Hotch, and JJ were deep in conversation when Derek noticed Spencer hovering nearby, clearly wanting to ask something but too nervous to interrupt. Derek already knew what was coming. It had become a patternâevery few days, Spencer would subtly try to ask about you without making it obvious.
As soon as the group dispersed, Spencer sidled up to Derek, eyes darting nervously around the bullpen. âDid Y/N say anything about... that thing you guys did last weekend?â
Derek raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms. âWe grabbed lunch and went shopping. You want details about the food she ordered, or are you gonna admit what youâre really asking?â
Spencerâs face flushed, his hands twitching at his sides. âI... I just want to know if sheâs okay.â
Derek sighed, his expression softening. âSheâs okay, Spencer. It was a long time ago. But listen... you need to understand that just because sheâs functioning now doesnât mean sheâs not still hurting.â He lowered his voice, giving Spencer a hard look. âIf you really want to fix this, youâve got to stop waiting for her to just be fine and start thinking about what you need to do to make things right.â
Spencer bit his lip, nodding. He opened his mouth as if to say something more, but Derek shook his head. âSheâs not ready, man. Donât push.â
â
As you sat in the car, driving back from the movies with Derek, you stared out the window, feeling peaceful. That is, until he finally broke the silence.
âSo,â he said, his tone more serious than usual. âAre we gonna talk about it?â
You blinked, turning to him with a slight frown. âTalk about what?â
Derek glanced over at you, his brow furrowed slightly. âSpencer.â
The mention of his name hit you hard, but you quickly forced a smile, brushing it off. âThereâs nothing to talk about.â
Derek raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying it. âCome on, Y/N. Youâve been great at pretending youâre fine, but I know you better than that. Youâre good, but youâre not that good. I am a profiler, sweetheart.â
You sighed, leaning back in your seat. âIâm fine, Derek. Iâve moved on. Iâm happy now.â
Derek didnât respond right away. He pulled into a parking lot and turned off the engine, giving you a pointed look. âI know youâre happy, and Iâm glad. But pretending those feelings donât exist doesnât make them go away.â
You bit your lip, staring down at your hands. âWhat do you want me to say? That it still hurts? That Iâm angry? Because I am. Iâm all of those things. But it doesnât change anything. Spencerâs in the past, and Iâm not letting him mess up what Iâve got now.â
Derekâs expression softened, his voice gentle as he leaned back. âIâm not saying you have to do anything. I just donât want you to keep bottling it up.â
You exhaled slowly, the tension slipping out of your body as you met Derekâs gaze. âIâm fine. Really. But... thanks for asking.â
Derek smiled, nodding as he started the car again. âAlright. Just know Iâm here, okay?â
You smiled back, feeling grateful for the reminder. âI know.â
âWould you be willing to talk to him? Heâs pretty beaten up about the whole thing,â Derek asked cautiously, his eyes flicking over to you with that careful, almost too-soft look. It was the look he reserved for moments when he didnât want to push you but knew he had to ask anyway.
Your stomach tightened at the mention of Spencer, the name still carrying more weight than you wanted to admit. You kept your gaze out the window, watching the buildings blur by, pretending the question didnât send a ripple of unease through your chest.
âDerekâŚâ you started, your voice trailing off, unsure of how to respond. The thought of seeing Spencer again, of opening that old wound, felt like more than you could handle.
âI know,â Derek cut in gently, sensing your hesitation. âI wouldnât ask if I didnât think it was worth it. But Iâve talked to him, Y/N. Heâs... not the same guy he was. He messed up, and he knows that.â
You shook your head slightly, your fingers absentmindedly tracing the edge of your seatbelt. âI donât know if I can, Derek. He left. Without a word. I donât know what there is to talk about anymore.â
âI get that,â Derek said softly, his voice low and careful. âBut maybe thereâs some closure in it for you. And for him. You donât have to forgive him, but maybe hearing him out would help. For both of you.â
You sighed, the weight of his words pressing down on you. Closure. Did you need it? Or was keeping Spencer in the past the only way to really move on?
âI donât know,â you murmured finally, your voice thick with uncertainty.
Derek didnât push any further, his silence a testament to how well he understood you. âItâs your call, babe,â he said after a long pause. âBut just think about it. No pressure.â
You nodded slowly, your heart conflicted as you continued staring out the window, the unease still swirling inside you.
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YUUTA OKKOTSUâS DECLASSIFIED JUJUTSU TECH SURVIVAL GUIDE (AN APPETITE HAUNTING THE HEART)
âi know this tastes too good to be healthy. the more it melts, the sweeter it gets, so take my heart out because i need all of you.
*this is yuuta okkotsuâs fool-reviewed plan for navigating all things curses, sorcery, and love.Â
pairings.âŻokkotsu/reader
content, warnings.âŻcanon-adjacent, reader has a cursed technique, friends to lovers, smut (uhh... no triggers i think? other than implied virginity loss on yuutaâs part), mentions of violence/curses, possessive/intrusive thoughts... he starts of kinda sweet and weird and then just gets... weirder and worse lol, so mostly yuuta being... yuuta <2
notes. jujustu tech is a college not a highschool, yes i brought naruto in this, i believe in sasuke slander only from a place of pure love, real sasuke ridicule will not be accepted xoxo
word count.âŻ12k i told you i could yap about him all day
playing.âŻcandy/baekhyun, untouched/the veronicas, cream soda/exo, lacy/olivia rodrigo, pure honey/beyoncĂŠ
#1 â Do NOT touch Maki Zeninâs tools (but if you do, the cute girl who hangs around Inumaki might help to patch you up).
Yuuta hadnât meant to piss off Maki. He was trying to be helpful, but Yuuta learned the hard way today: do not touch Makiâs cursed tools, at all, for any reason whatsoever. He intended to hand it back to her, but she was prompt in assuming that was part of an attack, snatching it from under his grasp and giving him a jab on the wrist with the dull end of the stick. If the beatdown heâd endured during training put Yuuta on his deathbed, then that hit was the final nail in the coffin. Â
The crack! sound of his bones made everyone pause their sparring, and Gojo winced the loudest, âOuch! That one had to hurt, kid!â It was also Gojo who gathered everyone to stand around and look down at him clutching his wrist in pain, before making the executive decision to appoint you as Yuutaâs caretaker. Â
âThis is definitely something you can handle!â he cheered, patting the top of your head, âTake our dearest Yuuta to the infirmary and patch him up, please and thank you! With the way Makiâs been kicking him into the ground, those cuts are sure to get infected sooner rather than later. The two of you can join us for dinner when youâre finished!â Â
Yuuta tried to refute, on the grounds of âNoâno! Iâouchâthis really isnât worth using any kind of cursed energy over!â Which was quickly met with a mischievous raised eyebrow from his teacher, âOh? Are you insinuating that my precious student doesnât have the skill to fix a simple fracture?â That prompted Yuuta to spill a flurry of apologies, none of which were coherent, and ended up with him trailing behind you sheepishly to the infirmary with a broken wrist, several bleeding wounds, and probably early heart failure. Â
Now, Yuuta sits with his feet dangling off of the edge of the examination chair, shivering from the chilliness of the room, and all of his nerve endings rattling at the realization that this is the first time that heâs been alone in a room with you since youâve met. He winces, first at the sting of disinfectant into his wound, and then internallyâmostly out of embarrassmentâbecause his outward reaction made you pause your actions to question if heâs okay. Â
Okay is relative, he thinks. In the grand scheme of things, heâs okay. Concerning his current injuries, heâll be okay eventually. Concerning this⌠whatever this is he feels for you⌠maybe not so okay. Â
âSorry,â he stutters, too loud for the atmosphere and proximity of your bodies to each other, and, so, he winces again, cheeks staining red to match his embarrassment, as if he or you needed any confirmation of it. He doesnât mean to be a difficult patient, but he has an adversity surrounding hospitals and medical care, and that alcohol really does burn, and youâre really close to his face, andâand you giggle a little, but Yuuta hears a chorus, instead; warm, spring-like, with violins and a piano and cellos strumming in perfect harmony, and the buzz of bees and butterfly wings flapping the melody. Â
âYou apologize a lot,â you tell him, a kind smile on your lips. You step forward, just a bit, as you peel off the band-aid adhesive and gently press it over the bridge of Yuutaâs nose. Itâs Hello Kitty themed. It makes him want to scream. Â
âYeah, uhâsorry about that!â Yuuta apologizes, once again too loudly. He scratches at the back of his neck with his left hand, and his eyes go wide after a few beats, âNo, waitâI didnât mean to apologize again. I just... I, uh... thank you. Thatâs what I wanted to say. For helping me, you have my sincerest thank you.âÂ
Yuuta dips his head to bow, and when he raises it again, youâre blinking at him owlishly, and he thinks heâs really done it now. You must think heâs a freak, if you didnât already. He thinks youâre gonna tell him off for being pathetic and a weakling, but instead you laugh againâthat precious sound that pauses Yuutaâs world for the better. Â
âYouâre awfully formal. Thereâs no need for that, or to thank me. Weâre friends, afterall,â you reassure him, âEven if Gojo did force you to be my practice dummy.âÂ
Itâs his turn to reassure you, his uninjured hand moving from his neck to shake frantically in front of him, âItâs completely okay,â he does his best to give you a smile as warm as the one you give him. It probably doesnât work, but he tries anywayâheâs always been an awkward smiler, too wide-mouthed and toothy, âYou can do whatever you want to me, I trust you.â Â
Your face seems almost solemn at his declaration, and the panic instantly kicks in again. Yuuta scrambles when his words play back in his head, âIâm sorry, was that weird? I meant that I trust your judgment. You can, uh, fix me up however you best see fitâor just leave it! Iâm sure itâll heal onââ
âYouâre awfully self-sacrificing, too,â you cut him off with a laugh, your usual warm nature clicking back. Yuuta shrugs, feeble; you smile wider, âIâm the one who should be apologizing to you. I keep staring, and Iâm sorry to have made you uncomfortable.âÂ
âNot at all! You donât... make me uncomfortable, I mean. You could never,â Yuuta rushes, curling back into himself after his outburst, âYou... it always feels really nice when youâre around. I canât explain it, but everything is calmer.â
Your eyes flutter across his face, before you turn away from him, âI can tell it makes you nervousâI can hear the changes in your heartbeat,â you tell him, opening the cabinet to return the alcohol to its rightful place. You must also be able to hear his thoughts, chiming in just as Yuuta continues to wonder if his heartbeat is really that loud, âItâs part of my technique. I donât mean to intrude on your heart.âÂ
Is it an intrusion if Yuuta left room for you? If he wanted you to be there? Was it crazy to think that heâd give you his heart to hold and trust you to take care of it, even though youâd only met a few months ago? Maybe it would be easier if he let you squeeze tight enough to put him out of his misery already.
Luckily, you keep talking before he can say something stupid like that out-loud again.Â
âItâs just that... you remind me of somebody that I used to know. Youâre kind like him, and you both share a well-intentioned recklessness, too. I see so much of him in you that itâs hard not to stare sometimes,â you admit, turning back to face him, and gingerly taking his wrist between your hands. When your hands start to glow, Yuuta can feel itâyour reversed cursed technique is warm on the surface, but chilly underneath, like a heated blanket on top of perfectly cool sheets.Â
âI donât mean to say that youâre just a replacement,â you continue, slowly rotating your hands over his injury. It stings a little, then soothes, âIâm just still in awe of how nice it feels being around you. It feels strangelyââÂ
âFamiliar,â Yuuta interjects, âI understand. You feel that way, too. I think... thatâs what I meant before.â He understands your words perfectly because you remind him of someone precious to him, too; someone he used to and still loves alot. âYouâit makes me happy, thatâs why I seem so nervous.â
It seems as though you understand him, too. His heart sings, and you can probably hear it, but Yuuta doesnât quite mind so much now. What he feels for you is consuming, maybe concerning, but knowing that you know what itâs like to love like him brings him an odd sense of comfort. Maybe he should be jealous that youâve had someone to love that much before, but heâs not exactly in a position to talk. What matters is that you can hear him and feel himâhis heart and his love and his sad and his happy, and it doesnât push you away.Â
It makes him want to burst. He owes you a thank you for putting something so precious in his life. He owes you an apology, for ever doubting that you couldnât handle his symptoms. He should have realized that you can handle his love.
âYou feel really warm, too,â he blushes, scratching at the back of his neck with his free hand, âAnd, uh, not just because youâre holding my hand.âÂ
The twinkle in your eyes turns into confusion, then surprise when you look down to see that the hand below his wrist had moved to rest underneath his palm instead. His wrist was well healed by now, and youâd been, effectively, massaging his skin and muscles with your technique for the latter duration of your conversation without realizing it.Â
Yuuta couldnât tell when it went from healing to hand holding, but heâs not complainingâand he doesnât think he could have stopped it either. Another quality to your technique that he couldnât understand was how your energy felt sticky, flowed like honey; how it managed to run into broken crevices and bruised dents with a mind of its own. Even if heâd wanted to pull his hand awayâand he didnât, he absolutely did notâhe wouldnât have gotten far from you. He never wanted to be.Â
âYou already have calluses on your palm,â you note, dispelling your healing energy, holding onto Yuutaâs hand only by want now, âYou train hard. Youâll catch up to Maki and Toge, quickly, but not if you donât take care of yourself.âÂ
Yuuta almost chokes when you rotate your wrist so that your fingers are aligned. Your hand is so much softer than his, warmer than his, and maybe heâs idealistic, but your fingers seem to slot perfectly between his when you curl them.Â
âIâm not always going to be around to fix you up,â you warn him, âSo donât go around pissing Maki off too much, alright?âÂ
Yuuta can feel the heat from your body flow through him. From his palm, up his arm, down into his chest, and everywhere else. It doesnât feel real. Youâre holding his hand, youâre smiling at him, youâre right there and youâre so bright and beautiful, so Yuuta doesnât know why his thoughts are so gray and dangerous; you wouldnât hurt him, and he doesnât want to hurt you, so why canât he stop thinking about keeping you like thisâof stitching your hands together forever to keep you by his side, or letting this heat consume and burn you both.Â
Yuuta shakes his head to wiggle those thoughts away, but to you it seems like heâs saying no to staying off of Makiâs radar. When he realizes it, he nods too reverently to make up for it; surely looking like an idiot, and then to top it off, he squeaks, âIâyes, maâam!âÂ
Another foolish outburst on his end, perhaps, but it makes you giggle, fills the room with springtime for a moment, so to Yuuta, it was worth it. âGood,â you nod, release his hand and beckon him off of the chair, âCome on, we should go eat before Panda takes all the good sides for himself.âÂ
Yuuta follows you back to the dorms with his stomach already full of love, love, love. He loves you, and you can hear, and see, and feel exactly what you do to him, and you donât run. Yuuta thinks maybe you should, even though he doesnât want you to. Surely you know what he did to Rika when he loved her.Â
Rika seems to like you, actually, if the humming of her voice in his head as he takes his seat at the table next to you is any indication. He can vaguely make out some of her words as you pass him the dumplingsâwarm, kind, loyal. He agrees. Pretty, too. No disagreement there.Â
In such a short amount of time, youâve shifted Yuutaâs ethos for life. He wanted to die to be with the person he loved before, and never quite understood why Rika would stop him, why she would want him to suffer in this life alone; but maybe this is what Rika was always trying to tell him; that his love was not lost and buried with her, but flowing towards you, his heart, a beacon for you to locate.Â
Youâd mentioned that he reminded you of someone you knew before, that you couldnât see anymore. Yuuta doesnât know what happened to your person before he came along; he can only hope that youâll allow him and his heart to be a vessel for your love someday, too. He wonât disappoint you. He wonât let you let go of him.Â
It shouldnât be hard. You already have his heart in your hands.Â
#2 â Gojo is more than a teacher. He is also the school event planner, once ranked Diamond in Overwatch, and is the only person blacklisted from any and all kitchens on campus. He also gives pretty good (sometimes questionable?) advice. His eyes are kind of scary. Â
Youâre there when he and Toge are nearly decimated by the Grade 1 curse in the abandoned market. He still doesnât understand much about sorcery at this point, so seeing people like you and Toge in action is awe-inspiring to say the least. Yuuta knows that Toge is nothing short of amazing, but he canât help but to be drawn into you, you, youâyour energy, your fighting style, the seemingly never-ending applications of your technique. Cursed energy in and of itself is still a foreign concept to him, so perhaps itâs that seeing you use the reverse of it so effortlessly is even more novel to him.Â
He can hear Rika strumming in the back of his mind, an indistinct itch and hum that sounds vaguely like laughter at his self-justification. He chooses to ignore her.Â
After, while heâs still buzzing with the tingly warm sensation of your technique after youâd patched him up, Gojo finds him, and Yuuta, unable to keep up a façade, pours all his anxious, worried, inquisitive feelings about his mission on the table.Â
âThe way that (_____) can heal wounds... is that something I can learn?â Yuuta questions his teacher, eyes tired but genuine and earnest. Â
And Gojo, all knowing and absolutely singing at the implications, smiles so wide heâs certain his newest student could see the crinkles in the corners of his eyes, even through the dark tint of his glasses. âMaybe.â Â
He goes on, leaning back into the old loveseat, one leg crossed over his other knee, âYouâll probably be able to learn to heal yourself with reversed cursed technique, but using it to heal others is difficult and rare. Shoko and (_____) are the only people I know who can do it.â
âIs⌠did she get to learn it because sheâs a Grade 1?â He remembers Maki explaining the ranking system for Jujutsu sorcerers. You and Toge were ranked the highest in the class, and amongst the other Kyoto students; it would make sense that you two have learned more applications of your techniques due to your higher placements.
Gojo chuckles, much to Yuutaâs confusion. âThatâs not quite how it worksâand if it were, then youâd already know because youâre a Special Grade. You donât unlock new lessons as you move up, you move up because of how well youâve learned to control and apply your own cursed technique.â
Right. That makes sense. Except Yuuta knows that his classification of Special Grade is a bit of a cheat because he canât control or apply his cursed energy half as well as any of his classmates. He has Rika to thank for his immediate promotion, not himself or his own skills.
âIn any case, if you do learn it, youâll never be able to execute it like her, thatâs for certain. Reversed cursed technique is complicated to learn and nearly impossible to teach. Itâs one of those things you truly have to figure out for yourself when the timing is rightâI only got it when I was on the brink of death. Itâs 100% effective on the person doing it, but only 50% effective when applied to other people by the user,â Gojo says, âExcept for (_____). She was born with reversed cursed energy, which is why she has an almost 100% output on herself and others, so sheâs extra special. â
Yuuta frowns. He never expected to do anything half as well as you, but knowing thereâs only half a chance that he could, literally, only ever meet you half-way is frustrating. You can save him time and time and time again, as you already have, and all he can do is be a wound for you to stitch back together.Â
It must be difficult for you. A similar thought had crossed his mind when he first met Shoko-san, feeling bad for her having to carry the burden of healing others, knowing that she could never receive the same treatment in return. Itâs worse for you, though, to be an angel amongst the men on this Earthâitâs not fair that you can give so much to help, and nobody can do the same for you. Yuuta wants to give something to you, he wants to devote himself to you, so at the very least, you have that. If he canât give you anything else, he can give you himself.
Gojo laughs at Yuutaâs silence, kicking his legs up on the coffee table. âThatâs hard for you to hear, huh? Ha! You truly are a lover, not a fighter, Yuuta.â
Yuuta blinks at him. âI, uh... thank you?â He says, even though heâs not so certain that those two things are discernable. Â
âRight now, the best thing for you to do is focus on controlling Rika and your cursed energy. That way, (_____) can also focus on fighting, and not healing, when youâre on missions together. The stronger you are, the less sheâll have to clean up after you,â Gojo advises.
He puts his feet back on the floor and uses the leverage to lean over, a bit too close for Yuutaâs comfort. âThe only thing you can do for her is to learn to help yourself.â
Yuutaâs eyes go wide. He wants toâhe wants to help you, wants to help himself, wants to help others, too. Thereâs a selfish twang for a moment, the thought of not needing you anymore tugging at his heart, but Rika reminds him that heâll still want you.Â
Then an even scarier thought crosses his mind. âWhat happens if I donât learn to control this? What happens if I curse her instead?â
Yuuta trembles at the thought, breathing and heartbeat erratic, his sensei moving back a bit. Rika is there again, reassuring him that he never hurt her, that his love never hurts, that the only person heâs ever truly harmed is himself by isolation of his own feelings. Trust her, Rika demands, she can handle this.
You can. Can you? You have, so far. You donât run, you donât push, you give, and give, and give to him; Rika was kind and playful and took and took and took Yuutaâs loneliness and sickness in stride and he still cursed her, seemingly for all eternity. He wants to love and be loved, but not if it means hurting youâisnât it bad enough that heâs already inept at healing your wounds? Why should he risk giving you more?
âYuuta,â Gojo calls him out of his thoughts, âIâm disappointed.âÂ
That truly breaks Yuutaâs cyclical monologue. âIâdisappointed?âÂ
Gojo ticks his tongue, shakes his head and points a finger in accusation, âYou should know your fellow classmates better by now. (_____) is not that weak or scared,â he chastises, âYouâre so worried about cursing her that you havenât realized that she is the only person so far to have effectively used her curse on you.â
Yuuta pauses, eyes wet with the awful realization that Gojo was right. You have already cursed him; your technique has already gotten past the barrier of his curse. Youâve cursed him. He never stopped to think that it was possible, worried only about himself. How selfishâhe shares Gojoâs disappointment in himself.Â
Heâs spent so much time loathing his jealous mind and decaying heart that he hasnât opened his eyes to see you that youâve found him. You can poison anything he does, and make the antidote with equal ease; how stupidly naive of Yuuta to think that he could be the one to diagnose or treat you better than you could him, or yourself.Â
âIâm sorry, sensei,â Yuuta dips his head, and also spares you an internal apology, âI understand better, now.â
âIs that so?â Gojo muses, leaning back into the sofa. His eyes scan Yuutaâs when his head is raised again, that knowing grin creeping back up on his lips. âWell, if you still want to know more about reversed curse technique, or want help learning it, itâs not an entirely lost cause. Iâm definitely not the person for this lesson, but, you know who is?âÂ
Yuuta feels a sense of whiplash from the change in Gojoâs demeanor. Confusion clouds his mind again, and he shrugs, âUm... Shoko-sensei?âÂ
Gojo makes a loud buzzer noise, complete with crossing his arms in front of his chest in a big âX.â Yuuta frowns again. Is that where Toge learned to do that?Â
âWrong! Iâm talking about (_____), obviously!â Gojo claps his hands together, before lowering his glasses to wiggle his eyebrows, âTutoring is a textbook way to get some alone time, kiddo. You want to spend more time with her outside of class and missions, right?â
âI want to spend all my time with her,â Yuuta confesses, mindlessly. And foolishly, he soon realizes, when he sees that Gojoâs grin has tripled; and heâs quick to flash his hands to correct himself, âNoânot like thatânot in a creepy way! I just... I want to get to know her better, like you said.â
Yuutaâs awkward chuckles fill the space, and he can feel his insides burning from his cheeks all the way down to his hands. Would he ever be able to think coherently or tactfully when it came to you?Â
âSo, uh... I... itâs okay if I ask her about this stuff, too?âÂ
âSome sorcerers donât like talking about their cursed techniques. But (_____) might not mind. You wonât know until you try.âÂ
Yuuta nods shallowly. Try. He can do thatâif not for himself, then for you; he can try for you. All you need from him is to accept your course of treatment; to love you is to let you curse him, completely.Â
âIâm a firm believer that allâs fair in love and war,â Gojo stands, stretching into Yuutaâs space to ruffle his hair. He leans down further, giving him a glimpse of his glowing eyes before sparing him a wink, âSo, be a little greedy, and give it your best shot.â
#3 â Social media is the most twisted curse out there. It makes you feel so close, yet is a stark reminder of just how far you are from the person on the other end of the screen.Â
Yuuta has never considered himself good with technology. Even before Rikaâs incident, he often felt ostracized by his peers because he didnât have the same interest in or experience with games and cartoons. He had no reason to have a computer or a phone until enrolling at Jujutsu Tech, and there was an evident learning curve in navigating the devices. Toge often snickered watching Yuuta use his smartphone with the dexterity of a senior citizen.Â
He only barely set up Instagram and TikTok accounts with Togeâs help, but he doesnât really get the idea of followersâwhy would people who donât know him want to follow him? Why would he follow them? He doesnât know many memes or jokes and even after seeing them, he doesnât think many are all that funny, but he laughs anyway.Â
He doesnât have much time to perfect his social media and meme skills, anyway. Heâs dedicated to training and gaining mission experienceâwhich pays off when Geto declares war on the school by the end of the year. Yuuta remembers how you returned his phone to him the next day, a few cracks and black, dark spots on the screen, giggling that youâd found it in the rubble, but that even your reverse cursed technique couldnât fix its scars.Â
He thinks he gets the hang of it in the endâthe basics of communication and the appeal behind connection with others through itâeven going so far as to trade selfies with Gojo sometimes, who always seemed happy to receive them, no matter how much post-exorcism curse gunk Yuuta was covered in.Â
He also frequently exchanges texts with you. He much prefers to see you in person, but when youâre stuck for long hours in the ER, or away from campus on your own missions, Yuuta has grown fond of receiving your messages. He always attempts to read them in your voice and imagine your facial expressions to match those of the emojis you send. He hasnât quite gotten the hang of those yet, doesnât understand what Toge means when he says that not all smiley faces are created equally, so to save himself the trouble, and potential embarrassment, heâs opted to use emoticons instead. Which, if you asked him, has been working out in his favor, seeing as you call them cute.Â
Yuuta also uses the safety of his phone screen to implement some of Gojoâs advice; picking your brain about curses, sorcery, and healing via text message for just long enough for you to say itâs easier to explain in person to come to him and teach him in your spare time. Soon these study sessions turn into texts asking to hang out outside of class and missions and work, and Yuuta couldnât be more elated. The screen he once scorned at seemed to be his one-way ticket to being able to talk to his favorite person constantly.Â
But Yuuta never thought it would become his only means of communication with you. Heâs devastated when you break the news to him, over half-finished oolong tea and nervous finger-twiddling.Â
âYouâre leaving?â He echoes, hoping he doesnât sound too much like a heartbroken child, even though thatâs exactly how he feels.Â
Itâs quiet outside of the tea shop where you two sit, nearing seven in the evening; only the soft sounds of other customers conversing behind you two inside, distant cars on the main street, and the sound of Yuutaâs heart beating frantically. Â
âNot leaving leaving,â you clarify, pausing your finger twirling to place one of your hands over Yuutaâs on the table, âIâm still studying, but Iâm being sent abroad for a bit.âÂ
He should be focused on the fact that youâre touching his handâYuuta should be happy! Rika still cheers for you in his mind, but her voice is quieter nowâbut Yuuta canât. Heâs focused on everything else, spiraling about the implications of your words. Youâre leaving... going away from him when things are going so well.Â
Yuuta was so happy when you taught him the reversed curse technique, even happier when he realized he did have the ability to heal others, knowing it also meant having the ability to help you relieve some of your burdens. That didnât mean that he didnât still want to give himself to you, he would if youâd have himâbut now he wouldnât have the chance. Â
âI havenât told anyone else yetâGojo only told me this morning,â you mumble, âIâm going to miss you all a lot, but we can still text every day! I donât know how long the time difference will be, but we can FaceTime.âÂ
Itâs not lost on Yuuta that he is the first person that youâve told about this. Itâs another thing to be happy about, another little victory he never thought heâd achieve, but itâs still overpowered by the dread of you leaving him.Â
He blinks, placing his other hand atop yours, sandwiching them between his, âHow long?â Yuuta canât read the expression on your face, but you donât pull your hand away. Heâs glad. He didnât think when heâd done it, but the lack of rejection feels goodâyour touch always feels good, reverse cursed energy or not.Â
âIâm⌠not sureâa few months at least, maybe until the end of the year,â you admit, squeezing his hand, âThere are some cursed objects and scrolls they want me to help recover, and Gojo says I get to work with another Special Grade sorcerer, too.âÂ
His hands feel so good, so warm, but everything else about Yuuta feels cold, icy with dread and fear. Youâre going away for a long time, and he wonât get to see you or hear you laugh or feel your warmth while youâre gone. His sunny days are going away, and Yuuta honestly doesnât know how many more overcast skies and rain clouds he can take.
And itâs selfish, he knows. He should be happy for youâyou were chosen for this mission, for this training; youâre getting the chance to use your skills to help others, and train even further. So, why couldnât he be happy for you? Why could he only feel a pit in his stomach about the thought of you leaving and meeting some other Special Grade whoâs rightfully deserving of their title? Not only had he lost the thing that brought him to you in the first place, but youâre about to find another replacement. Sure, with or without Rikaâs curse, Yuuta had become so much stronger, but whatâs it worth if he couldnât keep you by his side?
âTsukumo is supposed to be really cool, but youâll always be my favorite Special Grade, Yuuta,â you taunt with a smile.Â
Yuutaâs eyes go wide and watery with wobbly lips and flushed cheeked and sweaty palms to match. Favorite. Favorite, favorite, favorite. The word spoken in your voice rings in his head like a beautiful chime, the tones washing over him and erasing all his fear and doubt and insecurity.Â
You had called Yuuta your favorite. Sure, heâs still upset when he and the other first-years drop you off at the airport too weeks later, he still cries the first night youâre gone, still nearly breaks his knee trying to jump for his phone the first time that you call; but itâs okay because Yuuta is living off of the temporary high of being your favorite.Â
And also, because, in the end, your separation seems to have been inevitable. Not a month after everyone bids you farewell from Jujutsu Tech, Gojo tells him that heâs next on the docket to be sent abroad. Heâs happy for a split second, thinking that he might get sent off to Europe where youâre still working with Tsukumo, but then Yuuta learns his true fate: studying under the tutelage of Miguel in Kenya; equal parts away from his classmates in Tokyo, and from you in Barcelona.Â
Whoever said distance makes the heart grow fonder was a liar and a bitch, because the favorite boy honeymoon comes to an end when Yuuta settles into his new room and makes his first call to you from Nairobi. The feeling and reality of being alone, and even further away from you finally hits him. Still, he relishes in the sound of your voice; fantasizes that when you reach for your phone to show him your new things, itâs you reaching for his hand; dreams of you laying next to him when you fall asleep on the call, and desperately wishes that he could touch you, hold you, kiss you.Â
He really wants to kiss you. He thinks heâs probably always wanted to kiss you, from the very moment his feelings for you started to grow; even if he couldnât discern them at first, he knows nowâYuuta knows that he misses you like heâs never missed anyone before. The grief of losing part of Rika, and then losing his proximity to you merely weeks apart is finally catching up to him, and itâs morphing into a yearning that tugs on his heartstrings and rattles his brain.Â
He knows that the rate of growth of his feelings for you hasnât been steady, but he blames you for that. Youâre the reason he loves you so much, the reason he canât sleep at night, the reason he learns how to bring Rika backâbecause he thinks of you, you, you, and how he lost Rika once, and heâd be a fool to lose you twice.
Yuuta thinks itâs no coincidence that your cursed technique has the ability to alter him in mind and body. You have so much ownership over him and you probably donât even know that Yuuta has spent every single moment of his life living and breathing for you since youâve met.Â
And you take his breath away yet again, when he gets to see you in Germany. Miguel is taking him to Switzerland on a classified mission, and you and Tsukumo are on your way to Austria, and by some great miracle, your layovers align. When he sees you waving to him down the long corridor in the airport, it feels like a scene straight out of his dreams. Yuuta spares no time trying to look cool or nonchalant; making a beeline to you, desperate to feel your touch after so long.Â
Heâs breathless in those ten minutes that youâre reunited. Everything is too short, but he does his best to live in it all. He speaks a mile a minute, cramming in anything he hadnât already revealed to you in your many late-night FaceTimes, and swallowing everything you tell him. He wants to believe that heâd made the best of what little time he had with you, but the truth is he didnât. Because while you were smiling and hugging and telling him that you missed him, all Yuuta really wanted to do was kiss youâand if he were a smarter man, a better man, he would have.Â
He thinks, for a split second, that you might have wanted to kiss him tooâwhen you rock back on your heels after saying good-bye, hesitating for just a moment, almost expectantly, before your eyes flutter away. Heâll never know, because he never asked, he never tried, he never saidâonly whispered, pathetically, to himself as he watches the silhouette of you and Tsukomo before you disappear for boarding, that he loves you.Â
He almost believes that you hear it when you turn over your shoulder after his quiet confession. Would it have been better that wayâif he kissed you, or confessed in the heat of the momentâor would it be taking advantage of an otherwise beautiful moment? Yuuta will never know, and the what if tantalizes him.
He takes his phone out of his pocket and opens the thread of your messages. He starts typing, then stops. Backspace. Start typing. Pause. Read, re-read. Delete. Groan.Â
Whatâs the point? He canât kiss you through the screen, and heâll be damned if the first time he tells you that heâs in love with you is via phone call. He slumps his shoulders, and Miguel gives him a pity pat on the back. Yuuta goes to lock his phone when he sees the gray thought bubbles pop up below your last message and his entire body goes rigid in anticipation.Â
[received] 03:27 PM â [attachment: 1 image] â you should keep a closer eye on your things yuuta â i miss you already (ââ˘á´â˘â)â¤Â
Yuutaâs heart stops when he sees the picture of you in your seat, wearing his white uniform jacket. He doesnât know when you snuck it away from him, but that doesnât matterâlike anything else, he would have willingly given it to you, and then some. It looks much better on you anyway, and Yuuta pinches his eyes shut for a brief moment, to swallow down the thoughts threatening to swarm his mind of you in his arms, in other clothes, in his bed.Â
He opens his eyes, takes a deep breath, and lets the warm, gooey feeling settle into his veins, and moves his fingers to type.Â
[sent] 03:38 PM â keep it, you can have anything of mine you want â i miss you more (ŕšâ˛ á´ âľŕš)âĽ
You heart his messages and let him know youâre taking off soon, and putting your phone on airplane mode until you land. Heâs not so confident to send a picture in return, unless you ask for it. Maybe you will, when youâre in Austria. Heâll have to work on his selfies.
He takes another once over the picture you sent, committing the idea of you in his clothes to memory. He knows the messages wonât delete themselves, but he takes a screenshot for safekeeping anyway. Maybe phones arenât so bad, afterall.Â
#4 â Do not kill Itadori Yuuji. Under any circumstances. Even if some days you really feel like it. Also, sign up for a Crunchyroll subscription.Â
Yuuta can confidently say that his training abroad was both the most difficult and fulfilling thing heâs ever experienced. He believes that the change heâs endured is mostly goodâheâs physically stronger, emotionally wiser, and overall more confident in himself and his cursed technique. One year ago, he would have been content with dying, but now he has more than enough reasons to keep living. He has people who care about him, and who would miss him if he were gone; and heâs got someone he would miss a whole bunch, too, should anything happen to them. Â
By miss Yuuta means that he might burn down a small town, might level a city, might flip the entire world on its axis if something were to happen to you. In his defense, heâd go to extremes for most of his friendsâbut for you, thereâs truly nothing he wouldnât risk. Â
He figured that out in his time abroad, too; came to terms with the fact that heâs selfish with his love. He loves too much, too hard, too close, and he isnât very willing to share. He doesnât see it as a bad thing, anymore, eitherâYuuta knows now that the way he loves makes him who he is, and right now, he has the confidence to say that he likes that person, and that he loves you, undoubtedly.Â
So, forgive him if thereâs a cloud of negative energy the size of a coach bus looming over him at the moment, because since youâve returned to campus, Itadori Yuuji has been slobbering over you like a lovesick puppy. Â
Because apparently, you happen to know Itadori Yuujiâas in, since you were four and he was three, all the way up until your senior year of highschool, when you were scouted by Gojo, who, believes that you coming home from your study abroad trip would be the perfect time to reunite two best friends who hadnât seen or heard from each other for the better part of two yearsâall while keeping this little reunion a secret from everybody, including you and Itadori.
A surprise, it certainly is, when the first time that Yuuta and the other second-years see you in months is on the dingy couch in the common room, under a cuddle pile of the first-years. Nobaraâs arms wrapped around your left arm, body slumped against your side, Megumiâs long limbs stretching over Itadoriâs torso, leaving the palm of his hand resting on your thigh. Far too close for Yuutaâs comfort. The only saving grace is that the jacket he loaned you is also spread across your lap, offering another layer between your body and his palm. And then thereâs Itadori Yuuji, squished right between you and Megumi, with his head on your shoulder, his arms around your waist, and your free arm slung around his neck.Â
Yuuta should have been relishing in the fact that you were finally home, but all his focus is drawn to the way your position allows Itadori to cuddle right into you, to the way your arm is around his shoulder and your cheek pressed against the top of his head. You two might as well have been in your own little world, and Yuuta hates it. And, as if thatâs not enough, the realization that he was not the first person to hug you or welcome you home clicks, and his anger bubbles deeper. Â
Next comes dread, that creeps in slowly when you and the first-years wake up, and you and Itadori go on and on and on about how surprised you were to see each other at the airport, how Itadori just assumed that when Gojo said heâd assigned them to âpick up something super special,â that he was messing with them, how you couldnât seem to take your eyes off of your precious, precious kouhai that youâd missed so dearly.
Childhood best friends brought back together through sorcery. Yuutaâs seen that one before, and he didnât like the ending.
You and Itadori mend the gap in your friendship like two years of no contact was nothing, falling into a pattern thatâs so easy and familiar, that itâs painful for Yuuta to watch. The assumption that youâd died, and the knowledge that Yuuji had actually died only served to strengthen your vows to protect each other in the name of your friendship from here on out. Â
Yuuta considers putting his own sword through his chest if it means youâll swear your devotion to him. If he died, would you cry for him? Would you pray over his grave and beg for him to come back to you?âor would you find comfort in those who kept living, find solace in a friend who came back for you and can still hold you in his arms?Â
âTsuna tsuna,â he hears from his left, followed by a mischievous giggle. Togeâs taunting is hardly enough to pull Yuuta out of his cloud of rage, but the blunt end of Makiâs staff is. Â
âWill you stop pining so damn hard?â she sneers, whipping the staff back to her side and placing a hand on her hip, âNot only is it pathetic, itâs gonna attract curses like flies to honey.â Â
âWhy am I the only one getting hit?â He turns to his right to motion to Megumi, who seems to be brooding just as hard. Megumi respects you, but it was easy to see that he was reaching his limit on sharing his recently revived lover with someone else. Maki huffs, âBecause he doesnât have a literal cloud of darkness looming around him.â Â
Yuuta sighs, doing his best to reign in his feelings, but itâs pointless once he hears your laughter across the fieldâlight and airy and sunshiney and all because of Itadori Yuuji.Â
What were you two talking about? If Itadori were out of the way, would you pledge yourself to Yuuta? Did he ever hold a space comparable to Itadori in your heartâwould you let him?
A broken chord strikes Yuutaâs heart when he realizes that Itadori is the person you told him about last year; the person you missed so much, and you never thought youâd be able to see again; the person that Yuuta reminded you of; the person he was happy and eager to be for you. And now, in knowing Itadori, Yuuta thinks that his willingness was beautifully naiveâto think that he could compare to someone like this. Itadori is light, where Yuuta is dark; he sees the best in people, where Yuuta manages to come off on the wrong foot always; he perseveres in faith and determination, where Yuuta is fueled by an anxious desire to prove, prove, prove himself to be worth something to anybody.Â
He can see how easy it is to love Itadori. Itâs easy to cling to faith, to believe in something higher than yourself, to know that someone above can pull you up. Yuuta cannot compete where he cannot compare; heâs a shadow that engulfs you, takes you away from light, a dream thatâs hard to wake up from. He could never be bright to you; his best attempt would probably drive you and him too close to the sun, martyred for love in burning flames.
Still, even in all his jealousy, Yuuta comes to the even more sobering realization that making Itadori disappear wouldnât fix his problems. You told him he wasnât Itadoriâs replacement, but maybe thatâs because he could never be him; maybe he doesnât have to be. Yuuji could never be him, and he could never be Yuuji, but whether Yuuta likes it or not, he and Itadori are two sides of the same coin; and as such, Yuuta has, begrudgingly, grown to feel the same sense of responsibility over the younger boy that you do.
So, even though he never expected that they would both be at the mercy of your hand at the same time in this lifetime, he absolutely cannot kill Itadori Yuuji. Not only would it make you sad, but it would probably make Yuuta even sadder in the end, somehow. What a bother.Â
Heâs about to get upâto leave, maybe go over there, he doesnât know yetâbut he stops when he hears a calm buzzing by his ear. Yuuta blinks, slowly, shoulders relaxing unconsciously, allowing the larger than normal honey-bee to land on him. He recognizes it as one of your shikigamiâand even if he hadnât, that familiar, cooling sensation that washes over him would have let him knowâso, gently, he lifts a hand across his torso, allowing it to crawl onto his finger, and strum its tune.
Yuuta can feel a few more, hear them humming around him, and he closes his eyes, lets the small group of bees flutter around him and all that looming jealousy dissipates from his body.Â
Faintly, past the calm hum of the small swarm, Yuuta can hear the call of Yuujiâs voice, petulant, âAw, no fair. Fushiguro, I want calming shikigami, too! Can you bring out the bunnies? Please.âÂ
Beside him, Toge and Maki seem bemused by his newly calmed state, then amused when Megumi sighs, stands, and reluctantly pulls his hands together before a couple dozen white rabbits flood the field and hop onto Yuuji.Â
The buzzing grows softer, and then quiet. Briefly, Yuuta feels a bee land on his cheek, before it flies away, leaving the smell of fresh pollen in his wake, and when he blinks his eyes open again, youâre there, in front of him with a smile sweeter than anything heâs ever known.Â
âHope they didnât scare you,â you muse, waving a finger before the last bee hovering around you disappears, âYou seemed upset, everything alright?âÂ
Heâs about to open his mouth to say something, anything, when heâs cut off by Itadori Yuuji once again, with one bunny on either shoulder, and three more cradled in his arms. âHey, doesnât (_____) totally remind you guys of Sakura!ââŻÂ
Maki scoffs, albeit with amusement, as she points her staff at Yuujiâs hair. âIf anyone bears resemblance to Sakura, itâs you, Itadori.ââŻÂ
Yuuji actually makes an attempt to look at his own hair before chuckling. Yuuta flashes a look to Megumi, who looks equal parts exasperated and enchanted. Yuuta doesnât get the reference, and when Inumaki starts making gestures about how Yuuji is like some Naruto guy and Yuuji screams about how Megumi resembles a Shikamaru, he becomes too afraid to ask.âŻÂ
You seemed charmed at the end of the discussion, when everybody fundamentally agrees that youâre the Sakura of the group. Yuuta is far less charmed by these comparisons (and it has nothing to do with the fact that he didnât get one). He doubts that this Sakura person can do what you can do, doubts that Sakura is even worthy enough to be compared to you, whoever she may be.âŻ
And maybe Yuuta goes back to his room to watch several compilation videos about ships in Naruto later that day, but nobody has to know that. From what heâs gathered, Sakura is pretty cool, and even though Yuuji bears the most physical resemblance to her, he can see why everyone agrees that your healing abilities compare well to hers. Yuuta thinks youâre better, and heâs still holding out hope that thereâs some other character equivalent for you that Itadori didnât think of, that Yuuta can, just to prove that he knows you better. He doesnât fight any comparisons between Gojo and Kakashi, though. That one honestly freaked him out a little.Â
If it turns out that youâre Sakura, then he should hope to be Sasuke, but Yuuta thinks this dude is kind of a dick. From the 47 minutes of scattered Naruto content that heâs consumed, he actually much prefers the dynamic between Sakura and Naruto, even if that does equate to Itadori Yuuji having a crush on you, at least youâre out of his league and chasing after somebody else.Â
Still, he thinks Sakura would be upset if Naruto actually died, or worse, if Sasuke actually killed himânever mind the fact that apparently he tried to kill her? Yuuta would never do that, but Sakura still seems to like Sasuke after all of that... in any case, Itadori Yuuji must live, and Yuuta must accept his fate as Sasuke reborn.Â
Though, to Yuutaâs understanding so far, Sasuke and Naruto are destined to duke it out and if only one of them has to survive, then maybe itâs not so bad to be this guy. Yuuta doesnât know how it ends between them, but he thinks he could take on Itadori Yuuji if he had to. He wonât because heâs your friend, and Yuutaâs friend now, too, but if Itadori or the curse inside of him acts up, then Yuuta can at least rest assured he can put a stop to it. Thatâs not something he could have guaranteed a year ago, but now, he can.Â
Yuuta sighs, finally locking his phone and shoving his head under his blanket. Heâs been knee deep in analyses about Sakura ships for the past two and a half hours now, and heâll admit Sasuke is growing on him, but not much. His only saving grace seems to be that Sakura is madly, unconditionally in love with him; Yuuta wouldnât mind having that kind of devotion from you. He turns to lay on his back, staring up at the blank ceiling and wonders: if it came down to saving only one of them, would Sakura pick Naruto or Sasuke... would you choose the boy whoâs loved and looked up to you since you were kids, or the boy who sacrificed everything in hopes of gaining enough strength so that what happened to him never happens to anyone else.Â
Maybe they answer that in the series, Yuuta reasons. 720 episodes, at 20 minutes per episode... if he devotes about half-a-day to watching Naruto, then he can breeze through it in a little over two weeks, maybe sooner if he uses his weekends efficiently. Thatâs plausible, and by the end of it, Yuuta is certain that heâll have the answers he needsâand even if it doesnât, then at least, heâll have one more thing to talk to you about.
In the end, Sakura picks Sasuke, Naruto marries somebody else, and Yuuta understands that the two were never opposites, but complements, and that Itadori Yuuji-shaped pit in his stomach dissipates. Still, about three weeks later at breakfast he makes the argument that if anything youâre more akin to Tsunade, minus the gambling addiction, and that gets him rave reactions from everyone, including you, who is more than happy to show him your new slug shikigami as a means of commemorating your new Naruto kin.Â
Believe that, Itadori.Â
#5 â None of this matters if you donât kiss her. You have to kiss the girlâor sheâll get mad enough to the point where sheâll kiss you.
The following month comes your indictment into the Semi-Special Grade hall of responsibility. Yuuta vaguely recalls Gojoâs lecture on how people donât really get promoted to Special Gradeâitâs classification youâre born or cursed with, like himself, or Yuuji, or Tsukumoâbut, you, of course, defy all odds and expand everything Yuuta knows. Nobody is surprisedâYuuta thinks everyone was among the similar thought that you were undoubtedly unique amongst your classmates, in a way that was different from him or Yuuji. Being born with a body that generates reversed cursed energy instead of cursed energy is deserving of Special Grade status if you asked him; he doesnât know what pushed the higher-ups into finally acknowledging your skill, but he knows itâs well-past due. And while heâs happy youâre getting recognition for your efforts, Yuuta would never wish to saddle you with half of the shit the higher-ups put him through.Â
They better hope that Yuuta doesnât find out that theyâre plotting anything with you, lest they meet the end of his sword.
Part of your promotion entails a dual-degree program that will have you starting medical school next fall. Yuuta almost cries at the thought of you being sent away again, until you tell him that Gojo managed to pull a few strings this timeâto fund everything and keep you in Tokyo.Â
And even though youâre not licensed to treat civilians yet, youâre already more than experienced with taking care of and healing your fellow sorcerers, which lends Shokoâs promotional gift to be a shiny new office, right across from hers. Yuuta is the first person you invite inside, and he brings you a photo of you, him, Maki, and Toge from last yearâhonestly, probably the only photo the four of you have togetherâto christen your desk, and a plaque with your name on it for the door, that he may or may not have fantasized about it reading with your first name and his last name on it instead.
To no surprise, your office becomes a safe haven of sorts. Yuuta would define any time or place with you as a safe haven, but thereâs something special about this place. Maybe Yuuta is still leaping from this being the second time youâve chosen him. Heâs the first person to see your office, the first person to sit at your chair, your first official patient when he stubs his toe against the corner of your desk (where he left the first decorative object). Maybe itâs a little far to say that this place has him all over it as much as it does you, but Yuuta likes the sound of that.Â
When he comes back from gruesome missions, heâs invited to let himself in, no matter how much blood heâs covered in, and youâll be there to take care of him. Itâs not different than beforeânot different than even last year when heâd waddled in your shadow to the room across the hall and sat down with heart palpitations while you fixed his wristâbut something about this feels special. It holds a different weight than hanging out in your dorm or cooking together in the kitchen; this office is yours, the things you say and do to him here are confidential, the yearning for and almost-kisses you almost have are for you and him alone; within these four walls, youâre free to curse him completely.Â
So, heâs understandably upset when your office becomes a cozy corner for the other students as well. Maki likes to take refuge inside to study alone, Panda and Toge have been caught on more than one occasion attempting to wrap gauze around each other like zombies, Megumi uses your supplies and basic first-aid lessons to prepare small kits for him and the other first-years, hell, even Gojo has been found asleep in your office on more than one occasion. He gets why people are drawn to you like a magnet, why youâre comforting, and welcoming, and a source of warmth for them, but that doesnât mean that Yuuta likes to share you. Itâs much harder to almost-kiss you this way.Â
He must have pouted loud enough about it, because shortly after, instead of inviting Yuuta to your office for lunch, you ask him to meet you on the field. Not one to question you, he obeys, and soon, instead heâs met with an entirely new safe haven, sitting criss-cross inside your domain with all your shikigami slithering and fluttering and buzzing about him. A butterfly lands on his nose, and Yuutaâs nose crinkles. You lean in to let it crawl on your finger instead, and donât lean too far back when you slowly begin to explain to him the intricacies of your domain and how it all comes together.Â
Itâs amazing, surely. Yuuta listens as best he can, but itâs hard when thereâs a halo of butterflies around you, and a symphony of bees buzzing in his ear, and a slug kissing at his hand, and a snake coiling around his body and gently massaging his muscles, and your voice sound so soft and warm, and you look so pretty and, and, and he wants to kiss you again.Â
He wants to kiss you really badly. He wonders if thatâs part of your domainâhonestly, heâd wondered if that magnetic, honey-like attraction he has to you is in any part influenced by your healing natureâwonders if the confines of your space exacerbates the flow of blood to his heart and his cheeks and hisâ
âAre you listening?â you question, that glowing, addictive smile on your face, âYou know I can make the snake bite, the bees sting.âÂ
God, Yuuta wants to kiss you. He wants to live in the spring garden of your love forever, and ever, and roll around in the grass and drink honey with you, and kiss you and kiss you and kiss you. You could keep him here forever, heâd be perfectly content with living his days wrapped up in your curse.Â
Yuuta shakes his head to snap out of his daydream, disrupting a few butterflies in the process. âIâsorry,â he apologies, âIâm listening now.â
You hum, folding your legs underneath your knees and sitting before him. Yuutaâs certain he looks slightly ridiculous, covered head to toe in animals and small insects and burning underneath your gazeâwasnât this domain supposed to help people feel better? Is there no cure for lovesickness that you can use on himâor, at the very least, embarrassment?
âI asked you why you wonât kiss me.âÂ
Yuuta knows that if he werenât in your domain right now, he would have fallen to a sudden death. âIâI, um,â words, Yuuta, words; a bee lands on his cheek, he takes a deep breath, âIâm sorry.âÂ
That doesnât seem like the right answer, judging by the twist of your lips. Of course itâs notâbecause itâs a lie, and you know it, and you know he knows that you know it. How could he be sorry for wanting you, for spending every last waking moment breathing for you, hoping that youâll end his laborious breaths and pour air into him yourself?
âYou know, I brought you in here to make sure that you wouldnât run or pass out on me,â you confess, reaching out your hand towards him; the tip of your finger barely grazes his cheek as you allow the bee to crawl onto you, âI worry about your heart more than I should.âÂ
You flick your finger gently, allowing the bee to flutter freely and your eyes to focus back on Yuutaâs, âRight now, in this domain, itâs mine to control. To stop, to beat.â Itâs yours outside of here, too; to fix, to break. He knows. He knows, he knows, he knows. âWhy wonât you let me have it, Yuuta?âÂ
Yuuta gasps, and despite his surprise, despite his extreme lovesickness, despite his dark desires, his heartbeat remains steady, his body remains perfectly tempered and cool, his voice resonates clearlyâall because of you.Â
âYouâve always had it,â he confesses, âAlways. From the moment I met you.âÂ
He canât read your expression. Heâs suddenly hyper aware of the power struggle here; domain aside, you can hear everything about him, sense the slightest physiological change in him, alter any one of his bodily functions at your whim and Yuuta doesnât know what goes on in you. Would it be wrong to confess that he likes it; that this feels like you having him, that he likes knowing you can take him?Â
âI thought so, maybe,â you enlighten him, âLast year with all the calls and texts,â you lean over and set free a butterfly from his shoulder, âAnd then in the airport,â then guiding the snake to coil around your arm and around your torso, âAnd then I thought maybe youâd have said something when you were jealous of Yuuji,â this time your hand touches him, a feather-light touch to his elbow, âBut you didnât, and I was beginning to wonder if I was hearing your heart beat for someone else, instead.âÂ
Yuuta grabs at your hand erratically, âNoâno. Never.âÂ
Heâs senselessly in love with you, and if it werenât for your healing hands, Yuutaâs certain his ribs would have cracked from the pressure of his happy heart by now; but then again, maybe he should ask you to let it breakâlet that fracture serve as an entry point for you and yours, to prove to you that it beats for you and you alone.Â
âSo then what is with you? You have a habit of giving girls your heart and not kissing them, or asking them outâis it always straight to marriage with you?âÂ
Itâs torture hearing that word fall from your lips. He doesnât have time to even begin to process it. Yuutaâs eyes flicker to the smile on your lips, the slight tilt of your head. He says something he shouldnât, âWould you be opposed to that?âÂ
âIâd like a kiss first,â you tease, âWould you give me one?âÂ
And how could he ever deny you anything. There, with a harmony of beautiful insects and warm sunlight, Yuuta finally, finally, takes the last move forward to kiss you. Itâs everything he wants and exactly as heâd imaginedâhe can feel the rush in his bones, the want in his stomach, the love against his skin when you fall into him.Â
Itâs one kiss, and another, and then Yuuta can feel your tongue against his, greedily falling into the rush of you. Heâs everywhere, hands on your neck, lips on yours, body stradling yours when he carefully leans you backwards; Yuuta has you, and you have him, and he wonât let this moment go to waste. He pulls away for a moment, only a moment, to take in your kiss-swollen lips and commit this vision to memory. Heâll have to take another visual photograph outside of your domain, when your bodies are free to breathe erratically and equilibrium is broken so you and truly, truly, feel all of Yuutaâs love in earnest.Â
He wonders if itâs the effect of your domain that prevents his nerves from running haywire when you take off his shirt, when you let him take off your pants, when you have your hands on his chest and his on your hips. It must be. Yuuta knows for certain that otherwise, heâd be a blushing mess of fumbling limbs and stuttering words.Â
Still, Yuuta thinks, domain or no domain, he wouldnât let this moment pass him. Itâs not nerves when his hand brushes over your clothed clit and he hears you moanâeven if it had been, that would have been the antidote to his poison. Lust, pressure, possession wash over him in excruciating waves. He wants more. He wants you.Â
Impatience when he adds pressure with his hand, bliss when you buck your hips to add more of your own, greedily grinding against his fingers. Yuuta kisses you again, swallows your moans and feeds you his own when slips his hand past the barrier of your underwear, and he feels your warm, wet cunt against his fingertips for the first time, and when he pushes two fingers into your heat, he thinks he could cum right then and there, from this alone.Â
âYuâYuuta, more,â you plead. Your hand on his neck, fingernails scraping into his skin that should leave a mark. They probably wonât. Heâll be sure that next time they stick.Â
And Yuuta, unable to deny you anything, obeys. He curls his fingers inside of you, thrusting gently at first, and then with more confidenceâand warning, when he hears you snarl about not teasing. Ironic, he thinks, as he watches your lips fall open, since youâve had him strung along since day one.Â
âI wannaâwanna cum with you inside,â you moan, a sound that Yuuta promises to commit to memory. Later, when his brain is working better, and the coil in his stomach isnât so tight, and youâre not clenching around his fingers.Â
Youâre greedy, and Yuutaâs never realized it. You suck him in and still want more, and you must know that heâll give it to you. It should serve as a warning, you have the high-ground to take him any which way you wantâfor a fool, for granted, for yourself, for nobody else; so what does it say about him that it only spurs his arousal, that it makes him impossibly hard and he can feel himself leaking from the thought of it.Â
âI want that, too,â he reassures you, leaning down to press his forehead against yours, because youâre perfect for him, âBut I want this first. Give me this first, please. Please.âÂ
He thinks you might cry. The rational part of him knows you can regulate it, that you probably wonât; the sick part of him wants to see it, wants to know what it takes to make you lose control.Â
You call his name like a prayer, once, twice, and on the third time, Yuuta can feel it as much as he can hear it. He can feel the moment that your walls clench, and your eyes screw shut, and your body convulses around him. Youâre beautiful, irreverent, and Yuuta thinks that being responsible for this is the greatest achievement of his life.Â
He wears your orgasm with pride, raking over you as you blink your eyes open to him again. Youâre lucid too quickly, he really is going to have to take the time to enjoy this somewhere less controlled later, eagerly wrapping your hand around his wrist and forcing them to his mouth. Yuuta groans when he tastes you on his tongue, nothing short of euphoric, and heâs sure to taste every last drop.Â
You smile, and then laughâan almost inaudibly giggle that has Yuuta smiling back reflexively. Like always, he follows your every move and succumbs to all your whims when you lean up to kiss him, and then coax off his pants and underwear, and line the tip of his dick up with your slit and pull him in, again, by the neck to bite at his ear, âCome on, Yuuta. Give it to me.âÂ
An order, a promise, a pleaâYuuta vows to fulfill them all, determined and spell-bound when he sinks into you. He can only imagine what it feels like for you, but for him itâs warm, wet, soft, snug, stickyâlike honey, like a bee drawn to sweetness. Itâs good, too good, Yuuta doesnât know how to last when you feel this good.Â
He can feel you everywhere, around his dick, your hands on his back, your breath on his cheek, your skin against his. He feels stuck to you, stuck in you, mind, body, and soul as one, unable to differentiate him from you, from you, from you.Â
âFuck,â Yuuta stares, carefully swiping a thumb over your browbone, conscious but not in command on how deep heâs thrusting into you, âYouâre soâfuck, I love you.â He wants to hear you say it back, he needs to, he has to. He can feel it again, stomach in knots, and nerves on fire, and skin sticky, and Yuuta has to knowââPlease, please. Do you love me, too?âÂ
You stutter, only from the rock of his hips into yours, reaching for his face and cradling it between healing hands, âOf course I love you, Yuuta.â His mouth opens, wobbly, and tears flow over his eyesâbriefly, Yuuta thinks that itâs cruel that youâd let him cry; that you have command over every function in his body and that youâd let him cry, but he canât bring himself to be upset. Heâd probably have cried regardless, because hearing you say that you love him is a rush comparable only to burning tightness in his gut right now.Â
You tangle your fingers in his hair, pulling his lips to yours when you finally let go together. Yuuta can feel you tight around him, when he cums; and an unfiltered harmony of moans and skin on skin when he lays on top of you, sinks into you. Your hands donât leave his hair, and Yuuta finds bliss in your affection, in being in your arms, in being yours.Â
He doesnât know how long you two stay like that, he doesnât know if physical time passes in your domain, but it doesnât matter. Heâd stay here forever with you, let you use the full extent of your prowess to eat his heart out as sustenance, bleed for you to quench your thirst. Heâd be everything you need and more; heâll make sure that heâs all you want when itâs done and over.Â
#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk fluff#jujutsu kaisen fluff#gojo x reader#okkotsu yuuta#yuuta okkotsu x reader#yuta x reader#yuta okkotsu x reader#yuuta smut#yuta smut#yuuta fluff#yuuta okkotsu#yuta okkotsu#jjk scenarios#jjk imagines#jjk fake texts#jjk fanfic#jjk#jjk fanart#OKAAAAAAAAAY#gojo smut
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I dunno what it is about reading about the grid hooking up with each other but boy am I HERE for it. It just makes my inner whore very feral and happy lol
Any chance I can request a Charlos x reader with đľ and đ´ :)
âDry spell? That's such bullshit!â
âIt is not! I haven't had sex in months thanks to those two always hanging around me looking at any guy who approaches like they're going to murder himâ
Daniel narrowed his eyes at Carlos and Charles, who were over by the bar, arguing over what kind of drink to order for you.
âinteresting...â
Warnings: driver!reader, smut (obviously), threesome (obviously), sexual tension?, Daniel being a conniving little shit, tiny bit of angst? Tiny bit of fluff? Anyway Charles Top supremacy
Requested from my prompt list
Charles was your childhood friend and Carlos was your teammate. They were protective of you, that was normal. So were all the other drivers. But unfortunately it was becoming detrimental to your sex life.
âThey love you. We all do, you're like an annoying little sister to us, and we would do anything to keep you out of harm's wayâ Daniel reasoned and you snorted into your drink.
âRight, that doesn't stop any of you from crashing into me every now and thenâ
He chuckled, noting the two other drivers, still bickering like children in front of a seemingly exasperated bartender.
âOh please! You know if we caused any damage Charles and Carlos would actually murder usâ he scoffed.
âNah, they're soft at heartâ
Daniel hummed as he took a swig of his own drink.
âIf you're so concerned about your dry spell, why don't you ask one of them to help you out?â he grinned, biting his lip at the face you were making at him. âOh come on, we both know neither of them would say no to youâ
âI am not having sex with either of them, thank you very much!â
âWho's having sex with who?â George appeared beside you in the booth and you groaned.
âSee what you've started! Daniel here thinks I should ask Charles or Carlos to have sex with me.â
George raised an eyebrow at the Australian, then frowned at you. âand the problem with that is...?â
âI am not going to ask them for fuck's sake, they're my closest friends! And besides, I don't mix business and pleasure!â
George scoffed playfully at that and you blushed âYou shut your goddamn mouth George William Russell!â
He raised his hands in defense while Daniel laughed. âDidn't say a word!â
You knew Carlos and Charles would probably jump at the chance to have you. But you were happy with the relationship you had with them and you wanted to avoid ruining that by creating any jealousy between them.
âOkay, but if you had to choose one of them to sleep with, who would it be?â George asked, inconspicuously sipping his drink through a straw.
âUhh...â you hesitated, you had to admit both options were appealing. âI think Carlos? Or... no. Yeah actually definitely Carlos, I can't fuck Charles, I've known him since we were like 5 years old, it would be way too weirdâ
George hummed and Daniel smirked.
âOkay then, let's make a bet. We'll distract your bodyguards so you can go off and have fun. But if you don't end your dry spell tonight, you have to ask Carlos to end it at a later dateâ he looked entirely too proud of himself with that idea, and when you looked at George he could barley contain the satisfied smirk adorning his own features.
âA bet?â you looked between them incredulously âWhat are we in highschool?â
Daniel saw Charles and Carlos finally making their way back through the crowd.
âItâs up to you, but now's your chance to slip away and go get some without them looming over you.â
Fuck it, he was right.
You finished what was left in your glass and slipped out of the booth discreetly, in the opposite direction to where the two were coming from.
Daniel's stupid challenge lurked in the back of your mind. It didn't matter if you didnât get laid tonight, you were NOT going to ask Carlos...
âWhere did she go?â Carlos asked when they got back to the table.
âWe got her a drink.â Charles whined, eyes scanning the crowd. âTequila sunrise, her favouriteâ
âNo.â Carlos growled âher favourite is a Long Islandâ he sighed and looked at the other two drivers. âThis is why we need to find her, to ask her who is right and who knows her betterâ
George and Daniel exchanged a pointed look, and the latter cleared his throat. âShe's gone to have some fun without you two bickering over herâ
They scowled at that.
âBut sheâs not safe on her own-â âWe don't bicker over her-â
âShe is an adultâ George held a finger up, cutting them off âShe is capable of making her own decisions and it's not her fault neither of you have the balls to do anything about your obvious feelings for herâ
Charles huffed and sat down, and Carlos just put the drinks on the table and stalked off to try and find you in the dense crowd.
You did end up finding a guy.
He seemed nice, was a pretty good dancer, and was staying in a hotel nearby. Unfortunately he wasn't your type at all. Short, pale, blonde and lean.
But he was drunk and gagging for it.
So you went with him anyway, but as soon as you got back to his hotel you realised he was a bit too drunk, and he passed out on the bed as soon as his head hit the pillow.
You snapped a quick picture of the guy and sent it to Daniel with the caption âso much for breaking the dry spell đâ
...
A few weeks later, you got a podium at your home race.
In a fucking Williams.
Carlos lifted you on his shoulders as the team chanted your name and sprayed you with champagne.
The moment could have lasted forever for all you cared, this was your moment.
You basked in the glory, time speeding up until all you could remember was the taste of champagne and the blurry sea of blue uniforms engulfing you.
Later on, you found yourself once again in a packed club, full of drivers and mechanics winding down after an intense double header.
But this time, you were the guest of honour. Despite Charles being the one to actually win the race, everyone was buying you drinks and congratulating you on your amazing drive.
You were very drunk, and decided to sit down for a bit, which is how you found yourself, once again, sitting in a booth with Daniel Ricciardo, and of course he remembered the text you'd sent him several weeks ago.
âSo... still haven't asked Carlos then I'm guessing?â he flashed his signature grin and you groaned, already sick of this conversation.
âYou know I haven't, and I'm not planning to. I value our friendship too muchâ
You were lying to yourself, and Daniel knew it, but before he could say anything else the man himself appeared next to you.
Carlos leaned over the table, grabbed your drink, downed it, and held out his hand to you.
âCome dance with me!â
You didn't really have a say in the matter as he dragged you away and on to the dance floor.
It was packed with people and your bodies were pressed together as the bass of the music made your heart beat faster.
The heat and the alcohol were getting to you, making you quite giddy so you instinctively wrapped your arms around Carlos' neck and grinned at him.
It had been a while since the two of you had danced together in the club, and it made your heart flutter as you remembered what Daniel had said.
Your cheeks heated up, invisible in the club lights, and leaned in closer to whisper/shout in his ear.
âI have something to ask youâ
He raised an eyebrow at you in question, eyes twinkling with the flashing club lights.
âWhat is it hermosa?â his hands tightened slightly where they were positioned on your hips.
âIt's really embarrassingâ you giggled and he smiled, tucking your hair behind your ear.
âAnything you need, I'm here for youâ
Your heart swelled at that. You knew Carlos, you knew he would do anything for you.
But before you could say anything another body appeared next to you, a smooth voice cutting through the noise around you.
âAm I interrupting something?â
âCharles!â you slurred excitedly.
You let go of Carlos in favour of jumping into Charlesâ arms, you hadn't had a chance to see him all evening.
âCongratulations on the win!â you hugged him tight and he chuckled.
âCongratulations to you! A home podium in a Williams, quite an achievementâ he smiled and you blushed at the compliment.
âBravo Charles!â Carlos clapped the Monegasque on the back, and he had a slight edge to his tone that you couldn't quite place.
âThanks mate!â he said, flashing his beautiful smile at the older man.
Neither of them knew quite what to add to that riveting interaction, so you all just kind of swayed to the music awkwardly until Carlos spoke up in a rather clipped tone.
âSo what was it you wanted to ask me about?â he was speaking to you, but the way he said it sounded like he was talking to Charles, as if he wanted the younger man to take some sort of hint.
Charles didn't though, and your eyes widened as they flitted between the two of them.
âI... uhmmâ you stammered, trying to find a way to not tell Charles about what it was you needed.
Weirdly though, it wasn't you who said it.
It was Charles.
âIt's okay, I know when I'm not wanted.â Charles waved dismissively. âIf you want to fuck Carlos that's none of my business...â
He sounded almost sad as he turned around and made his way back through the crowd in the direction of the bar, your breath caught in your throat as you thought of calling him back over.
Your heart was beating out of your chest. How the fuck did Charles know? Were you really that obvious or did somebody tell h-...
Daniel. That fucker.
Carlos laughed, obviously thinking Charles was joking to diffuse the tension, but quickly stopped when he saw the look on your face.
You were so red even the club lights couldn't mask it, and you were avoiding his eyes.
âWhat- Is that what you wanted to ask me?â he asked.
You nodded shyly and his jaw dropped.
He got closer to you, crowding your space and hooked finger under your chin to force you to meet his gaze, faces only a few centimeters apart.
âIs this why you've been so tense lately? Have you been needing someone to come and fuck you properly, hmm?â
You whimpered in his hold and he grinned wolfishly before leaning in to kiss you.
The feeling of his lips was heaven.
That's the only way you could have described it.
He was so gentle yet demanding as he used the leverage he had on your jaw to open your mouth to him and he just took whatever he wanted.
Your body went numb and you clung to him, his hands moving down to cup your ass in an effort to get you even closer.
As the beat of the music got heavier, so did your movements, your hips rolling with his to the beat until anyone watching would have qualified it as indecent.
You panted into each others mouths desperately as your clawed at each other's clothes, the tension was becoming unbearable and you needed him more than you'd ever needed anything in your life.
But in the back of your mind you couldn't help thinking there was something you were forgetting.
That was confirmed when Carlos rested his forehead against yours and opened his fucking mouth.
âI'll be honest, I was not expecting this tonight.â He chuckled breathlessly âDaniel told me you were fucking Charles so I assumed I was off limitsâ
You froze, staring at him, and he quickly realised he might have said something he shouldn't.
âDaniel what?â
He stuttered out something unintelligible but you didn't even hear him as you grabbed his arm and dragged him through the crowd looking for Charles.
As expected, you found him next to the bar, downing shots with Lando who looked rather concerned about the older manâs state.
Just as he handed Charles a glass of water he spotted you and Carlos coming and eyed you suspiciously.
âCharles!â you started, almost stumbling and falling on him in your haste âDid Daniel tell you I wanted to fuck Carlos?!â
Landoâs eyes widened and his eyebrows shot up, a look of complete bewilderment on his face.
âI'm uh- I'm just gonna...â he pointed somewhere behind him and scarpered, probably for the better.
âWhat?â Charles said, obviously quite drunk.
âWhat did Daniel tell you about me and Carlos?â
He frowned angrily.
âHe said you were going to fuck Carlosâ
You exchanged a look with Carlos.
âAnd I guess what I saw on the dancefloor confirmed itâ he said bitterly.
Everything about his demeanor screamed one thing.
âAre you jealous?â you and Carlos asked at the same time.
Charles looked taken aback at the question.
âYes? Who wouldn't be? Look at you...â
âI don't understandâ your head was spinning âwhy would Daniel tell Carlos I was fucking you, then?â
Charles frowned in confusion and eyed the booth where you'd been originally sitting with Daniel.
He was now chatting away happily with Max and Lando while you were having a crisis.
You bit your lip in thought.
âWe could... prove him rightâ you said slowly.
The two looked at you weirdly for a second before realising what you meant.
âCome with meâ
They didn't protest as you pulled them towards the dancefloor, in an area that was close enough to the booth that Daniel would be able to see you if he looked over.
Once you were in place with Carlos behind you and Charles in front, it was easy to get them to move with you to the beat of whatever was playing.
When your ass accidentally made contact with Carlos' crotch he hissed and his hands flew to grip your hips, pulling you flush against him.
Your head fell onto his shoulder as you moved together, and you looked at Charles through lidded eyes.
The man had a dark look in his eyes as he watched the interaction, and you motioned him over.
âJealous? Come get me thenâ you said as seductively as you could given that you had to shout over the music.
It worked on Charles though, and he towered over you, his hands coming to rest around you waist possessively, barely an inch above Carlos' own hands.
âYou sure about this?â he asked, his hips hovering close to yours but not yet breaching the barrier of your friendship.
It was then and there that you realised, you never wanted one of them if you couldn't have the other.
You slid your fingers through his belt loops and tugged roughly so that he was finally flush against you.
Butterflies erupted in your stomach. You'd never been this close to Charles despite your many years of friendship and the novelty of the situation was exciting.
As you looked into each other's eyes, your faces got closer and closer.
When his lips brushed yours softly, it was like a fire ignited inside you.
You pulled him in by the back of his neck and he complied with equal fervour, plastering himself against you and whimpering a quiet âfuckâ against your lips as he kissed you for the first time.
Carlosâs chest rumbled against your back and you realised he was groaning at the sight, Charles pushing you against him as you made out sloppily.
He quickly glanced over to the booth and the three men were staring at you with wide eyes.
He smirked and leaned down to whisper in your ear.
âYou got what you wanted. Daniel is staring at us like heâs seen a ghostâ
You and Charles separated to breathe and you took the opportunity to look at Daniel, but he quickly looked away and pretended he hadn't seen you.
You couldn't have that.
You kissed just under Charles' jaw, making the man shudder as your lips made their way up his neck and over to his ear and you bit it lightly.
Given your closeness, you could feel his body start to tense up and the crotch of his pants was getting tighter.
You didn't know he had an exhibitionist streak but that was certainly information you were going to use to your advantage.
There was just one last thing you needed to do.
You turned around to face Carlos, pulling him down for a scorching kiss.
When you pulled away, you panted into his ear.
âIf we're going to do this, I want you to kiss Charlesâ
He froze and glanced at the Monegasque behind you then looked back at you questioningly. You lifted a brow and bit your lip.
His eyes followed the movement and he gulped.
âDo it, I dare youâ
See, being Charles' oldest friend meant that you knew things about him that no one else did.
Such as the fact that he was very much into men and had salivated over Carlos for years.
And oddly, Carlos didn't need much convincing either as he leaned in and pressed his lips to Charles'.
The kiss started out relatively chaste, both being unsure of how the other would react, but soon enough they were making our filthily over your shoulder.
You slipped out from between them, their bodies naturally coming together as their lips, and their hips, moved in tandem.
You slipped away, back to Danielâs booth and were proud to see him, Max and Lando with their jaws almost on the table at the sight of Charles and Carlos clutching each other and making out desperately out on the dancefloor.
Carlos's hands framed Charlesâs face, pulling him into the kiss, and Charles had one hand fisted into the Spaniard's shirt, the other was tangled in his hair.
You leaned over the table, getting the three drivers' attention.
âTell me Daniel, what were you trying to achieve here tonight?â
He stared at you, eyes flitting back to the crowd every few seconds as he stuttered out an explanation.
âI- I thought that if I told each of them you were fucking the other something would finally happen... Best case scenario you would muster up the balls to ask one of them, worst case scenario one of them would fuck you out of jealousyâ
You nodded condescendingly and glanced back at the two figures now practically humping each other in the middle of the crowd, before answering.
âWell let me suggest a new scenario, I'm going to go and fuck them both.â
You straightened up and brushed yourself off before continuing.
âHave a pleasant evening Daniel. Lando. Max.â You nodded at each of them before swiftly turning on your heel and joining Charles and Carlos again to drag them outside in hopes of catching a cab.
In said cab, the windows were steaming up.
Carlos was knuckle deep in you while you took turns making out with them, and it didn't take long for you to start unraveling at the seams.
But just before you did, Charles took a hold of Carlos' wrist and pulled his hand away, taking his wet fingers into his mouth for a taste of you.
He groaned around Carlos' fingers at your sweet taste and the older man felt like he was on fire at the sight of his ex teammate eagerly sucking on his fingers.
You were writhing between them after being denied your orgasm, and you pawed at Carlos' shirt in an effort to get him to put his fingers back in you..
He chuckled at the sight of you so desperate then turned back to Charles.
âI didn't get to have a tasteâ he pouted mockingly, and Charles mirrored his mischievous smile as he brought his fingers to your weeping folds and pushed three in, the coldness of his rings sending a jolt of electricity through your body.
And once again, as soon as you started getting close, he took his fingers out and shoved them into Carlos's mouth.
âHow's that?â he teased and the older man went nuts at getting to taste you, on Charles' fingers.
Once they were clean he wrapped a hand around Carlos' throat and pulled him in for a filthy, noisy kiss.
God, you were going to have to give the taxi driver a very generous tip.
When the three you finally got to the hotel, you couldn't keep your hands off each other all the way up to your room.
And once inside, you were thrown onto the bed and stripped of your clothes very quickly.
âSo greedy...â Charles purred âYou couldn't choose just one of us. You needed both...â he unbuckled his pants, shirt already long gone, and his cock slapped against his lower abdomen, hard and leaking. âWell now you're going to have both of us, and we're going to fuck you as many times as we want, right Carlos?â
Carlos nodded eagerly from where he was sitting on the edge of the bed, lazily stroking himself as he watched you and Charles.
When Charles' kisses started going south, you beckoned Carlos over and took him in your hand, making him hiss, and guided his cock towards your mouth.
He threaded his hands through your hair as you let your tongue run over his sensitive skin. He tried and failed to keep his hips still, so you took him into your mouth as far as you could go and he choked on a groan as his hands tightened in your hair.
âFuck- my god your mouth...â
You hummed at the praise and Carlos tensed and threw his head back in an effort to keep himself composed.
Meanwhile Charles had sucked a few marks into your skin and was slowly making his way up the inside of your thigh, making you shiver with anticipation.
He licked a bold stripe up your cunt and one of your hands immediately went to grip his hair between your fingers and pull him closer.
He complied eagerly, slurping up your juices as his tongue alternated between going as deep as it could inside you and circling your sensitive clit relentlessly.
It took an embarrassingly short amount of time for you to get to the edge, and when Charles slid two fingers inside you wailed around Carlos' cock as you came, clamping down on Charles and rutting against his face desperately.
Charles looked entirely too cocky as he climbed onto the bed, face covered in your wetness, and crawled over to Carlos.
The two men crashed their lips together in a passionate exchange, Carlos moaning at your taste as Charles took control and invaded the older man's space, pushing him to lay down under him.
âYour turnâ Charles panted, and gave him one last peck before making his way down Carlos' body.
âWha- What are you-?â
He barely managed to get his sentence out before Charles had sucked his tip into his mouth and started sinking down... much further down than you'd managed given Carlos' impressive girth.
Well you knew he liked sex but by god, Charles Leclerc was a whore.
After a few bobs of his head, and a few braincells lost for Carlos, he pulled off with a pop.
âShe's going to sit on your face while I open you up, okay Carlos?â
Carlos jolted slightly and his head whipped up to look at the man smirking between his legs, his wide eyes filled with confusion.
âYou are what?â
Charles giggled âI'm going to fuck you Carlos.â
Carlos just opened and closed his mouth repeatedly like a fish out of water.
âWhat?â Charles said condescendingly âDid you think you were going to fuck me?â
âI- I don't knowâ Carlos admitted.
He wasn't entirely unhappy with that arrangement, but he had to admit, all the times where the sexual tension between them had been at it's peak during their years as teammates, he usually imagined it the other way around.
But he was about to get fucked by Charles Leclerc, and the thought almost overwhelmed him.
âIs that okay with you?â
Carlos head flopped back down onto the bed and he groaned.
âfuckâ
You and Charles laughed.
âI'll take that as a yesâ Charles gently prised his legs apart and kissed along his inner thighs.
You kneeled next to Carlos' head and smiled at him.
âMay I?â you questioned, hand coming to stroke the man's cheek tenderly.
Carlos's eyes were glassy and he nodded quickly, but you tutted and leaned down to press a kiss to his chest.
âWords, Carlosâ
âYes! I want you to sit on my face, please hermosa. I need to taste youâ he made grabby hands at your hips.
You smirked at his eagerness and swung a leg over his head, so that you were facing Charles, who was waiting for you to get settled before he let his tongue wander over Carlos' taint teasingly.
Once Carlos had grasped your hips and all but slammed you down on his face, Charles licked over his rim and the older man groaned against your cunt, making you buck your hips against his face involuntarily.
Very soon, Charles was several fingers in, and Carlosâ cock was leaking precum onto his own toned stomach.
Charles made a noise of satisfaction and retracted his fingers, deeming the other man ready for him, and helped your trembling body off, to change position.
You decided to get on all fours, Carlos behind you had no trouble sliding into you and your arms buckled at the stretch, so you were left with your ass up and a face full of pillows as he leaned over you, pressing gentle kisses to your shoulders while he prepared himself mentally for Charles to breach him.
And when he did, Carlos let out the most pornographic moan you had ever heard, and that served as encouragement to Charles, who pushed in slowly, inch by inch until you all felt like you were going to burst.
You all just breathed for a second, limbs trembling at the sensation of being joined like this, so intimately, with your closest friends.
Maybe this was the end of that friendship, and the beginning of something else, something more.
âEveryone alright?â Charles asked after a minute, and you and Carlos moaned your assent, making the Monegasque giggle.
He pulled out a fraction, then gave an experimental thrust.
Apparently, Carlos was a very noisy bottom, because every time Charles bottomed out inside him his moans increased in pitch.
Well so did yours, but this wasn't about you.
âI'm not going to last longâ Carlos groaned, face contorted in pleasure at the new sensation overtaking his body.
You let out a muffled sound into the pillows that sounded like âme neitherâ and Charles chuckled.
He threaded his fingers through Carlos' hair and pulled, making him arch his back, and pounded into him, the angle perfect to nail his prostate dead on.
The force of his thrusts was enough to make sure Carlos' cock reached the deepest parts of you, knocking against all your good spots.
Unsurprisingly, it didnât take either of you long to come at all, and you did so together. Carlos filling you up while your walls tightened and milked him for all he was worth.
When Charles pulled out of him, Carlos collapsed next to you, and the sight of you with your back arched, and Carlos' cum dribbling out of you was enough to drive Charles over the edge, fisting his cock and streaking your ass and the backs of your thighs in his own cum.
He swiped a finger through the messy mix of juices and brought it to his lips, savouring it while winking at Carlos.
The older man was staring at him with an open mouth, so Charles took that as an invitation to collect some more on his fingers and shove them between Carlos's lips, mirroring his actions from the taxi earlier.
âJesus Christâ
You'd turned your head to see what on earth was happening, you saw Carlos' eyes roll back into his skull as Charles pressed down on his tongue to make him gag slightly.
You'd always imagined Carlos to be pretty dominant, but Charles was turning him into a lap dog before your very eyes.
âNow thenâ Charles snapped âare you going to clean her up while I fuck you again?â
Carlos whined and nodded, shimmying down the bed until he was level with your dripping thighs, licking a stripe up the back of one.
âGood boyâ Charles purred, positioning himself back over the other man, lining himself up and leaning in close to whisper into his ear.
âAnd this time, Iâm going to fill you up, Carlosâ
Needless to say, it was a long ass night, and the fun was only just beginning.
#my thots#carlos thots#charles thots#charles leclerc#carlos sainz#charlos#carlos sainz x reader#carlos sainz smut#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc smut#f1#formula 1#ask#request
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Prepared for Anything Pt. 2
Part 3, MasterPost
Gotham was a terrible place to live.
It was great.
People werenât overly friendly or familiar with people they didnât know, meaning they paid Danny no mind. No one mentioned he had fangs. No one commented on his slightly pointed ears. And no one questioned his strange ability to ward off muggers and would be criminals without even having to speak to them. His ghost aura came in handy sometimes.
It also mean that rent was dirt cheap. Especially in Crime Alley where Danny had taken up residence. It was made even cheaper by the fact that Danny didn't need heating with his ghostly physiology. It cut a lot down on bills. Not that it really mattered much. As Ghost King, he had an abundance of funds that he wasnât sure he could dry it up within fifty lifetimes, let alone his one. However immortal it was.
The downside was the old wiring. Leaving him here. Eating Mac and cheese out of the pot heâd been cooking up as he watched the fire flicker and smoke plume out the windows.
Now, Danny hadnât been planning to flee his apartment, itâs not like he woulda been in any danger, but his neighbour, some guy named Jason, had gone door to door, ensuring everyone was following the fire drills that children learned in elementary school which were ultimately incredibly flawed. Who really believed that an entire school of children would stay calm and collected during an actual fire?
Jason was nowhere to be seen now, though. Danny wondered if he was okay, but that guy currently helping a family out onto a fire escape, Red Bird. . .Red Helmet or something, would probably make sure he was. He was apparently a crime lord, but a good one?. . . .
. . .
Gotham was weird.
Just as the red guy and the family reached the ground, a scream for help called from the second top floor. They sounded young. Danny looked up to see a little girl at a window and flames raging too close for her to go anywhere.
Well. . . that was concerning. Who had left such a young kid unattended?Â
Red Dude was dashing out to the front of the building to get his bearings, looking for a way up. He wouldnât be able to reach the girl using the fire escape. Danny took another bite of his Mac and Cheese, watching as the manâs grapple gun jammed.
Danny heaved a deep sigh.Â
He supposed he would have to get involved.
Leaving the crowd of tenants that had huddled on the sidewalk, Danny trudged back across the street and into an alley. He went far enough that no one would see him and opened a portal. With one hand, he reached in, found purchase on his quarry, and turned away to drag the ladder out and behind him.
Danny found Trigger-Happy-Dude starting to scale the building. Danny interrupted him before he got too far.
He belatedly wondered where the fire-fighters and cops were.
âOh, hey, look what I randomly found in that alley.â
Red Dude paused to look at him. Looked at the ladder trailing behind Danny.
âItâs a ladder.â Danny raised it slightly from his lazy hold, noting how much he felt like he was giving an infomercial right now. âPretty long, huh? Long enough to reach that floor, I bet.â Danny added helpfully with an encouraging nod. âHow fortuitous.â
The Red Dude was quick to drop down and take it from him, but stared at Danny the whole time as if was abnormally weird.
Which was rude. Danny was just abnormal, thank you very much.
âUhh. . .good work.â Red Dude said, setting up the ladder with Dannyâs help. The vigilante tested it for stability.Â
Danny scoffed. As if he would purposefully tamper with it.
Which wasnât too far-fetched in this city.
Red Dude deemed it acceptable. âHold it steady for me, would ya?â
Danny nodded.
The man climbed up and Danny held both sides, pouting down at his pot of Mac and Cheese heâd had to set aside for the moment.
Ah, the sacrifices he makes.
Across the street, there were a multitude of cheers as Red Dude reached the little girl and settled her on his front like a backwards piggy-back hold.
Danny stepped aside when Red reached the bottom to pick his pot back up.
Sirens cut into the roar of flames above their heads and the loud call of the tenants that had lasted rather short, a few half-hearted cheers dying on the wind.
It was the middle of the night. Everyone was tired.
The mother of the little girl ran up to take her child and flagged down the first paramedic to arrive on the scene.
Danny returned his gaze to Red Dude who equally eyed him. Or at least, Danny assumed. His head was facing him.
âYouâre that guy who punched out Joker.â
Danny paused with his fork halfway to his mouth. He slowly brought it the rest of the way. âHowâd you know about that?â
âCameras.â Hood tapped his helmet with a finger. âI saw RR and Robinâs video feed.â
Danny hummed, nodding along as he chewed. He wasnât terribly concerned. Danny was just a random guy that happened to punch another random guy. It probably happened all the time in a place like Gotham. There was no need for further investigation into who Danny was. The vigilantes had probably forgotten all about him until this instant.
Red Dude looked at his pot. âThatâs what youâre eating?â He said, somehow conveying judgement through the modulator.
âYep.â Danny took another bite. After a moment of contemplation, he left the fork in his mouth to produce another from his hoodie pocket. He held it out to Red Dude. âMac and Cheese?â
The dude leaned back slightly and his crossed arms gave the impression he was offended. âYou just carry forks around in your pockets?â
Danny shrugged. âAh, ya know, never leave home without a back-up fork.â
Red Dude considered him for another moment and Danny thought heâd decline. But then, he shrugged, his stance relaxing somewhat. âSure.â He accepted the fork.
#Danny#danny phantom#Danny fenton#Red Hood#jason todd#dpxdc fanfic#crossover fic#dimension travel#I'm having fun#this fic is nonsense and I don't care
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âđâËâš bbydaddy!jk (7) âđâËâš *nsfw*
series m.list // taglist request closed
note: i literally can't take myself seriously with this concept LOL where have my morals gone? lmk if anyone remembers classic kimi fics where smut was nonexistent HAUWHAUA đ
đˇď¸ permanent taglist: @joonsjuice @pamzn @defzcl @maryy1300 @whoa-jo @taetaecatboy @jksusawife @un06 @firesighgirl @rrosiitas @butterymin @parkinglot-nights @musicjournalsjdb @kissyfacekoo @jkslvsnella @vampcharxter @bloopkook @somehowukook @bbystarcandykoo
//
jungkook has been looking over revisions for the past three hours. the promotion was more exciting when he worked for it... now, he feels way too overworked and honestly? for what?
the truth is, he only chased after the promotion because he knew it would be something you'd be proud of him for doing. you've always been the type to chase after things greater than yourself and wished for jungkook to do the same. well, this is it. this is jungkook doing just that for you. he hopes you can see it. he hopes you know it.
currently, he feels like his eyeballs might roll out of his head. he's bored and might lose his mind if he goes through one more slide (he has at least 200 slides left). irritated, he pushes away from his desk and stands up.
he stretches, trying to wake himself up a little more. then, he stares at the view from his office window.
the city is beautiful but he would much rather be looking at you.
suddenly, as if the angels heard him, his phone rings.
it's you.
he picks up immediately.
"hello?"
he doesn't know why, but he feels nervous. you never call. you always text or facetime... a call? what the fuck could be going on?
"hi... are you busy?" you ask, a little quiet. you sound tired.
he raises an eyebrow. "uhh... what's up? everything okay?"
a small laugh escapes your lips. "yeah. why? do i soundâ"
"a little sad," he cuts you off, concerned. "___, what's wrong?"
you stay silent for a moment.
"nothing.â
he doesnât believe you until he hears you sigh in relief.
continuing, you vent; "i just... i think i'm just stressed. i don't know. i wanted a break and suddenly i picked up my phone and called you. s-sorry. i... you're probably busy with the new promotion andâ"
"i'm not that busyâ"
like perfect timing, jungkook's office line interrupts. "mr. jeon, your 2pm meeting is being pushed back so you have time for lunch today."
jungkook clears his throat and thanks his assistant.
"new assistant?" you ask, letting curiosity get the best of you. "she pretty?"
"she's fired if you want."
"shut up!" you laugh. "i could care lessâ"
"oh, you care..." jungkook smirks. "hey, i'm glad you called. you can always call. i'm here for you when you need.. i don't want you to think anything else."
"okay.." is all you say.
jungkook takes a deep breath in. "did you eat today?"
"i ate. did you?"
"been busyâ"
"you said you weren't busy!"
"hey, i'm not the lawyer!"
"still... i... listen, i'll let you go. i should probably get back to work or somethingâ"
jungkook panics. "i'm cancelling my 2pm."
"what?"
"y-yeah... i'm looking at their revisions and i haven't even gotten through half of it. it's also shit so i'm just gonna tell them to redo everything. will i be the most hated boss? we'll find out."
on the other end of the line, you snicker.
"you can't blow off work."
"i can."
".... c-can i confess something?"
jungkook gulps, feeling sick to his stomach.
"what?"
you fidget with your fingers, unsure if you should continue.
"honey, what is it?" jungkook asks softly. "whatever it is... i'm here for you. you know that."
"i... uhm... i called because i was stressed..."
"... yeah?"
"jungkook," you pause, biting your bottom lip. is it too much to say this? at the same time... it's not like he has ever denied you anything. you might as well... "i need to relieve some stress. like, i need to focus on something that isn't work or our son. you know what i mean? everything is fine, honest! i just... i want to be focused on something and be present. i feel like i've been mindless for a hot minute... i just... look, if you're going home... is it okay if i come over? can i suck your dick or something?"
jungkook rushes home.
he changes his bedsheets and runs a quick shower. it's not like he needed to put in this much effort (it's literally the bare minimum) but it's the first time in a long time where you needed him. having sex and initiating was more so 50/50; but this was different. you need him.
he's your relief.
and also... it's a little funny, is it not? it's only 2pm on a random wednesday and you need him.
when you arrive, jungkook takes a few deep breaths before opening the door. his studio apartment is definitely smaller than your place (aka the place you two shared for 4 years), but it's okay. it's only temporary. he knows in his heart that he'll be back home with you in no time. this afternoon proves exactly that...
if today you need him for his body and tomorrow you need his heart; he'd give it.
"wow... i hate this already." you take a minute to laugh at yourself. you feel so beyond stupid and embarrassed... it's practically indescribable. though you and jungkook fool around and have always had an active sex life... right now felt different. right now felt... weird? but if it was ever going to feel weird; at least it's with him.
before you even step foot inside his place, you're turning your heel. "you know what? i should... uhm, this was stupid. sorryâ"
jungkook grabs your arm and pulls you inside.
you stay still as he leans towards you face. he pokes your cheek and chuckles. "come on, honey. i said i'd be here for you. let me be here for you."
squinting at him, you move his finger off your face. "you just want your dick sucked."
"you offered," he snorts. "so pull through."
in hindsight, jungkook should've been more prepared than this.
but he isn't.
he fights to urge to spill himself all over your pretty hands every time you pump his cock. it's toe-curling the way you drag your wrist up and down. he throws his head back so much, it's beginning to get sore. leaving him with no option but to fucking watch you give him the most life changing blowjob of his life.
"are you okay?" you ask, batting your eyelashes at him. "you look stressed."
"i am stressed."
"what? whyâ"
"no! f-fuck, don't stop." he growls, not liking the way you suddenly stop. you purse your lips, catching on that he just feels edged out.
already?
... okay.
you continue to pump him, gripping on the base of his cock and moving your way up. his skin is so soft yet he's so hard. like... so fucking hard you know for a fact you don't want to fuck him right now. it'd hurt too much.
"you're so hard already," you utter under your breath. "and i swear to god, it's like your dick gets bigger every time i see it."
"i love you more every time i see you that's why."
"damn," you hiss. "can you... just let me do this? i wanna focus on... wanna focus onâ"
"shut up."
you laugh, reaching up to place a kiss on his lips. he leans forward, gladly meeting your lips. when you pull away, you plop yourself in a more exact position in front of him. jungkook feels his balls get heavy as you kneel, part his legs, and begin to tie your hair up.
he helps you.
gathering your hair, you give him your hair tie. he quickly ties your hair before leaning back and trying to catch one last good breath.
he fails.
his breath hitches as you kiss his tip.
"w-waitâ"
you don't.
you lick his length, dragging your tongue down to his base. there, you suck his balls and use your hands to pump. jungkook gulps, watching you do this. he doesn't know what to do. usually, he's really into it but there's something different about right now.
right now, he's in a trance.
he's mesmorized at how much your touch changes all the chemistry in his body. saying you send electricity throughout his body is an understatement. butterflies don't mean a damn thing either. it's captivating and everything but sweet.
it feels twisted in his stomach. it feels like he's on the edge on a cliff and the only way he can ease his fear is by jumping off.
he has to give in and let his body react to you.
he has to let you have this and from the looks of it (and feel of it); you've giving him everything you've got.
just then, you snap jungkook out of his thoughts as you attempt to take him inside your mouth. you make an effort to look up, eyes teary from holding in your gag. he's so big. there's no other way to explain it and there's no way you're going to stop thinking it.
he's so fucking big.
like what other choice do you have but to slobber all over it? you just have to. not to mention, he always tastes good. his cum, yes, but just his dick in general... is that weird? who cares.
jungkook's dick barely fits in your mouth. but you try to make it work. you want himâall of him. as you bob your head, easing your way to his full length, jungkook lets out a loud moan.
you look up and see his chest rising and falling. his abdomen twitches and so does his dick. you like the way he looks right now. as you suck, his breathing intensifies. soon, he's panting and you're near gagging.
you take a moment to catch your breath.
pulling away, your hands continue the show. jungkook brings his attention back to your hands and watches as the tip of his cock turns angry. god, it's getting bigger?
you practically drool.
jungkook leans over and wipes the access saliva around your lips. then, he shoves his thumb into your mouth. happily, you suck on it. bobbing your head, shutting your eyes, and letting out little moans; jungkook feels like he's losing his mind.
you look so fucking pretty.
when he takes his thumb out, you dive back to his dick. this time, he holds you by the back of your neck and guides you through it. jungkook pushes your head slowly but surely. then, he stops moving it. he keeps it in place as he lifts his hips and rolls them.
before you know it, he's fucking your mouth.
rolling your eyes back, jungkook moans at the sight. of course you're taking it like a slut. of course you're enjoying it too.
"you like this, huh? you like having your face fucked?" jungkook hisses in between breathy pants.
you gag in response.
jungkook pulls his dick out and slaps your mouth with it. his veiny member feels so good against your lips. you want it back in your mouth.
"answer me."
"mhmm," you whimper. "i like it so much. put it back inâmmhphâ"
"fuck yes," he shoves his cock back into your mouth. "so pretty, honey. the absolute prettiest."
suddenly, he lets you go. it's then that you take the liberty to give it everything you've got.
you twirl your tongue around his tip, suck his length in every way possible. your hands pump to compliment your oral skills and jungkook can't help but think he's the luckiest man on earth.
then, it happens.
you feel his dick twitch. he instantly thrusts himself more aggressively to chase the climax. you behave and take it. then, squirts of his cum escape his tip. he cries, pulls out of your mouth, and aims at your face.
you shut your eyes, feeling his cum hit your cheeks and lips.
he lets out a moan of relief.
after a moment passes, you get up from your position and sit on his lap. wrapping your legs around him, he offers you a tired smile. then, he lifts his hands to wipe his cum off your face. opening your mouth, he gives it to you like icing.
you swallow and he feels like he might need a fucking minute.
then, you let out a little giggle when you notice how sweaty he is. you push his hair back and begin to laugh.
"w-what?" he worries. "why are you laughing at me?"
"you're sweating? as if you did any workâ"
"i was literally fucking your face!"
"yeah but you're not the one that's gonna have sore cheeks for like three days or bruised knees!"
he shuts up.
you roll your eyes at him and continue to play with his hair. you feel his dick calm down under you. thank god. that fucking beast is scary when you're not in the mood...
"what time is it?" you ask, breaking the silence and breathing in the smell of sin.
jungkook shrugs. "dunno. also don't wanna move. stay like this with me."
you huff. "should i take my panties off or something?"
"why?"
"wanna cockwarm me?"
seriously...
he just might be the luckiest man on earth.
jungkook clears his throat as you straighten up your posture. "wait, i'll just put my panties to the side like thisâahh, mmhmm... y-yeah. like this.... feels good."
by now, jungkook's soft cock is inside you.
you like the feeling and so does he.
suddenly, you rest your head of his shoulder. he wraps his arms around you and holds you. kissing the side of your head, he asks; "you feeling better? relieved?"
"mhmm."
"good." jungkook tightens his lips, as he brings his hands to your hair. he runs them through and you take a deep breath in. you like the way he feels right now... so intimate.
"hey... did we talk a lot during sex?" he asks.
"don't remember."
"oh, okay..." jungkook looks around his studio apartment and suddenly feels embarrassed at how messy it is. "can i come with you to pick zion up today?"
"sure."
jungkook tightens his hold on you. you laugh and tell him it's too tight. he stops squeezing you and asks for a kiss. you give it to him. against your lips, he mummbles; "am i talking too much? i think i'm nervous or somethingâ"
"then shut up."
"heyâ"
you pull away and cup his cheeks.
"i feel your dick rising inside me. i don't have the energy for round two. either make the boner go away or i'll get off."
jungkook gulps. then, he shuts his eyes and thinks of every possible un-sexy thing ever... and it works. his dick softens again and you thank him with a kiss. jungkook takes his chance and intertwines your fingers together. you let him do so and his heart soars. something about him being inside you makes you feel so whole. thereâs no denying that⌠and you love it, really. you love him, truly.
for a few more moments, you two stay like this.
you two are together.
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Maybe Svt reaction to you getting shipped with another member ?
i love thisss thank you for the request!!
request: Seventeen's reaction to you getting shipped with another member
° don't be shy to request!!
⥠I hope you guys liked this one. It's my first time writing all the members at once, and it's very fun to write. Hehe, ( i made this in 40 minutes, and im so out of ideasđŹ)
context or wtvr: we're just gonna say you're the 14th member and is dating one of them, but fans don't know
Seungcheol: Very confused because he's been making it VERY obvious you guys are dating. "What... Mingyu? why himâ i'm right here" ( will go on his secret account to call bullshit but he's the one getting flamed on twt )
Jeonghan: Wouldn't really care, honestly. you get shipped with every member, and it's another normal day in caratland BUTTT if you're in the same room as him, and he came across a post about the ship "that's insane, what the hell? seriously? babe, look at this. They're shipping you with joshua. " he's actually annoyed, and you're just laughing in his face
Joshua: he wouldn't know until you or another member told him. This dude does not check his social media, nor does he care, maybe a little jealous, but at the end of the day, you're his
Jun: Will call all the way from china just to tell you, "Hello, baby, did you see Wonwoo being shipped with you? that's crazy. i mean, you guys are close, yes. but I'm dating youuu. How could they imagine you and wonwoo wahh thats crazy" is ranting as if he's not your boyfriend. will go on and on about how unreal and an insane phenomenon it is
Soonyoung: is lowkey mad even though it's just a little ship fans made. "No sense in dating! I'm always all over you, and they don't notice? but when coups look at you a little, they go crazy, " he says as he's rolling his eyes
Wonwoo: Bro does not care. I'm sorry, he knows you're his and his only (there is a hint of jealousy thooo
Jihoon: is too busy to give a shit and just like wonwoo, he doesn't care. Plus, Carats ships you with everyone
Seokmin: Is more concerned about your feelings than the ship itself. "babyyy, how are you feeling? you know i love you, right?" he's acting as if he's the one getting shipped with another idol
Mingyu: too cocky to care. he's hot, and he knows it. Also, you'll never leave him for another man, lmaoo
Minghao: is jealous, of course, but has to put on that. "So what? i don't care" face of his â "i mean, i guess, im jealous. come on it so obvious we're dating, no?" ( no, not really. hao, but you do you, bae )
Seungkwan: "Should we just reveal our relationship? because you getting shipped with hoshi is out of hand. " â ''you're just saying that because you had a fight with him earlier.' '' stillll its ridiculous, and it doesn't sound like a bad idea, right?" "You're just jealous boo go to bed, istg"
Vernon: isn't jealous but thinks it's interesting(?) because why minghao and not him? he's usually holding your hand and hugging you, but for some reason, fans just think it's cute friends holding and hugging each other and not a couply thing....
Chan: When he found out about the ship, he'll get more clingy and start to hug you around the camera more, and you're just like, tf?. "You okay chan?" "Absolutely! just making sure they see me hugging you. " said as he's practically choking you (uhh, i think they see you, honey)
#cheoliejiwrites#seventeen smut#seventeen#seventeen drabbles#seventeen reactions#seventeen headcanons#seventeen x reader#seungcheol x reader#jeonghan x reader#joshua x reader#jun x reader#hoshi x reader#wonwoo x reader#woozi x reader#dokyeom x reader#mingyu x reader#minghao x reader#seungkwan x reader#vernon x reader#dino x reader#seventeen x you#seventeen imagines#seventeen x y/n#svt fic#svt fluff
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