#and he subtly noticed the slight red ears that was left uncover from the black strands

[lunart-06]

Kamukura with emotions doesn't make him weaker than before, just because he's in relationship with Makoto doesn't mean he's gone completely *soft*. He's only gone soft in just one angle, the rest is still pretty much still the same except now he perfers to rest his head on Makoto's lap than anything else that was already available for him to simply just lean his head against.

The first thing he feels when being around makoto isn't *love*, it's simply the same feeling he always felt which is *boredom*. And the second that came along wasn't the first thing mentioned, it's *interest* (from the form of the prespective of boring normalcy that differs his own) that slowly by time turned into *obsession* (realizing this whole thing is much better than when being stuck in the tight room in his lab) and by then began to be sticking around the guy instead of the other way around and it'll be a surprise to Makoto one day and to Makoto that will only be taken as an invitation to be closer. A progress.

All in all *love* will be the LAST THING appeared even AFTER they were in a relationship because it is something that Kamukura HAS to come in terms or accept himself, or realising too late to stop it cause he only accept to be "in a relationship" (with the entitlement of 'lovers' or 'partners' and everything) with Makoto simply in a way so Makoto can stay close to him (knowing the guy's unyielding loyalty and used that to his gain), because Makoto continues to make himself intriguing to Kamukura in his own boring, simple ways because Kamukura has grow to hate and berated normalcy of the untalented by his teachers and developed it through there. Plus he never gets to experience or learn a lot more of it other than the lab staffs' explanation of how "boring" it is and it's seem to also be the reason *he* became Kamukura in the first place as well.

(So the beggining of their relationship itself, the "love" part was one-sided. Kinda. In a way)

Sure it *is* boring. The whole "normal lifestyle" thing is sure sucked away his life source (if he even had one) and it's already just as he expected even when he lets Makoto around for at least a few days, he only let the guy around cause his luck is unexpected at most times but then of COURSE Makoto would use those times to shimmy his way into Kamukura's life. Shortly yet slowly. A very strange pace it is but it worked well with both of them.

His sickening optimistic, motivating nature to upbring Kamukura's gloomy, unmotivated one to pull him in the most boring of activities eventhough he had stated either directly or indirectly that those are, obviously, *boring*.

But Makoto's other traits that has first caught him just *slightly* off guard (which is. Rare and almost to never) was his undeterred determination to prove someone wrong (either in a morality sense in what was naively generally right). Perhaps he has been too assuming of Makoto's commonly pushover antics, or maybe Makoto's usual everyday and everytime genuine optimism has put his guard down just a bit that it made him passed by the fact that Makoto- no matter how positive and hopeful- *can* get mad or bothered if being triggered in certain ways. Certain ways as in if it involves someone else or views of things morally in a negative sense (the reaction made Makoto look more.. real. Something along that line).

Im also thinking how at some point, that *stubborn* determination that *always* butts in whenever Kamukura try to state or refuse. To try and always attempting to change his mind and at some point it led to another breaking point leading to the next change and that would be Kamukura- in his still usual bored tone yet out of character dialogue, said, in *annoyance*; "can you shut up." And doesn't THAT caught them BOTH off guard.

Silence followed when both were lost in their own thoughts in trying to process it before Makoto snapped out of it first to apologise for crossing the line and in promise to not do it again. Which, Kamukura is fine with but at the same time- "no" he would say, "keep talking". Cause sure, Kamukura has a fair share of being annoyed sometimes, but THIS is different, because just *how* can he be so easily annoyed over something so... *simple* as Makoto to be able to *blurted out* the moment of thought? It's something worth to explore more. To *experience*. Because it's new and when it's new, it's usually *interesting and unexpected* to someone like Kamukura.

And sometimes it's not just usually some new emotion just popped up at certain times, it's also the fact how constant it is of how the emotions he had experienced off kept *shifting*. He'd be bored then suddenly feeling intrigued in something then suddenly be slightly fluttery-ish? ('Amused' he noted) or suddenly feeling heavy in his chest ('sadness' he thought), heck, even the feeling of something clawing his insides when Makoto almost get a brick crushed his own head ('fear' he whispered to himself) then suddenly sometimes shifts back to being bored, then intrigued, then over and over in an out of order cycle. It either shift back to the same things or it develops something new.

It was never just one thing everyday just like how things are before meeting Makoto- like continuously be bored of everything and that's what makes things both overwhelming and underwhelming at the same time.

I also think that another thing that pulls Kamukura to Makoto is that just from Makoto, wanting to hang out and stick to him, to befriended him, with the payment only be *spending some time with Kamukura* and not to use him for his talents and abilities alone. Is one thing Kamukura unmanaged to just *understand* or fully grasp. In the end though he resolved by thinking that perhaps this is just a Makoto thing. That Makoto is being too good or cared too much of others in a way. But it does put Kamukura in a good "hm..." moment though.

I have a funny imagery that Kamukura just seem to be more often being put *slightly* off guard more by Makoto (wether intentionally or unintentionally which is usually the latter) than anyone else does. To which he be more on guard than he is before and to not jump to the most obvious conclusions or assumptions on some people because, of course, the Makoto situation and all. To which also means it made him statistically *more* dangerous than before (congrats Makoto! You made him more cautious or more thoughts in than usual of what was around him!).

His obsession in wanting to keep Makoto close to him by time will become apart of his own conciousness that *I* believe to be the case. Because after everything?? Everything that happened for the last few months?? Wether before or after being together (though I believe the moment they are together is the moment where the feeling became more hecticly stronger)?? It would only be obvious that he would, for once, *accidentally* (cause really, since when does being with Makoto Naegi means anything gone as planned?) Putting the obsession from wanting Naegi close because he is the first and often only source of interest for Kamukura's own bargained to wanting Makoto close because suddenly he was in too deep in the pit he had been *still* continuously dig himself in and finding that he doesn't *like* it when Makoto was out of reach.

(Going from trying to keep the guy around for selfish reasons by means to keep himself out of his usual bored state [cause let's face it, Kamukura isn't a good person, nor a bad one either, heck doesn't even attempted in search to at least *try* to quench his boredom just because he lacks any sort of motivation. But if the interesting thing were to suddenly presented dangling just in sight he WILL grab onto it tightly.], to obsessively trying to not get the guy lost out of his reach figuratively or metaphorically sense cause he *knows* that he will never *feels* something like this again, to feeling just *right* to have Makoto close to him and not letting go just because he doesn't *like* it)

I doubt Kamukura even realised the moment he had been *attached* to Makoto, simply because he had never experience emotions in the first place other than just knowing the basic theories to diagnose others in. And when he did, it's too late by then (it won't be him unable to escape Makoto. No, no, on the contrary, Makoto will be unable to escape *him*).

So anyways. Love isn't the priority to Kamukura since the very beggining in the start of their relationship, because the other foreign subjects that is emotions (twinging sadness, light amusement, flickering annoyance, poisonous jealousy, and dare he not admit the clawing fear) *are* the foundations that build his own *version* of what was the concept of 'Love' is.

Love is different to everyone afterall, so far what Kamukura has learned and see, if there was anything the same about all of it is that; love is a form of passion, and the connection of the bonds, it can be different from others, but Kamukura *doesn't* feel anything a lot WITH anyone else in general more than he is with Makoto. So essentially to him, it was different. It's not love that was viewed *generally* but it was his own version nonetheless.

This is just *my* insight of how I see Kamuegi *in* Kamukura's prespective. Cause he is my favorite character to write. You can do so many things to him in certain situations no matter how impossible it seem to try and not break his character. But that's the thing. You NEED to break certain characters, but as long as you didn't break the fundamental core of their characters then trust me, it's more of a scratch or a rather small crack on a ceramic vase than it looking all smashed up.

Sometimes you GOTTA make a scratch or heck, added something on it, without it losing it's shape or material as a ceramic vase, in order to make it slightly more jazzam get it? Or to make it work for the theme of the room you placed it in. (Not me using the vase metaphor for all of this)

[frayed-at-the-seams]

Hands up! 1/2

Jack/ZhaoZi soulmate au.

Everyone had soulmate words tattooed somewhere on their body. They were the first words that you would ever hear your soulmate say. Due to this, they were beheld with a certain degree of importance. Society loved the idea of soulmates, frowning on those who rejected or ignored their soulmate marks. Those who were born without marks were often outcasted, viewed as unloveable.

Jack knew for a fact that his boss, Tang Yi, had the words “Do you know who shot you?” Inscribed on his left forearm. His words had made sense. They had belonged to the police officer Shaofei who had been on the hunt for the murderer of his friend. They had danced awkwardly around the topic of them being soulmates for four years before developing a relationship as well as uncovering the killer of Mr Tang and Li Cheng. Now they were ridiculously in love. Especially since Tang Yi had been released from prison.

Jack was almost jealous of them and their love, if not for their disgusting PDA. He had often though of his soulmate. But in his line of work it was hard to have relationships. It had been years since he had been in a real relationship, even longer since he had seen his family. Besides, his words were a bit embarrassing, especially since he was a mercenary who made it his job not to get caught. But the words “Hands up! You’re under arrest!” Told him that one day he would be caught. It was all just a matter of time.

As he approached the polished oak door of his boss’s office, he absentmindedly traced the palm of his right hand where his words were inscribed in tiny neat black letters. Despite the fact that they were obscured by his gloves, he could picture each flick of handwriting. Insanely adorable handwriting that never failed to make him smile. With his signature smirk, he rapped a sharp knock against the wood.

“Everything alright boss?” Jack asked as he entered the pristine office. Tang Yi was sat at his desk frowning down at at a piece of paperwork laid out inform of him. He looked up as Jack entered the room, face as composed as ever. Jack fell into the chair in front of the desk, lounging reflexively back as his hand reached for his knife, flicking it backwards and forwards. It was a habit that worked well in intimidating people, not that Tang Yi ever fell for it. Jack was just doing it because he was bored.

“Shao Fei has an undercover operation with his squad in a strip club”, Tang Yi stated, voice cold. “They are planning to arrest a known sex trafficker who I’ve been meaning to hand over myself”. Ah, this was why the boss was so stressed. His soulmate was going on a dangerous mission in a unsavoury place where he would be dealing with a man who boss knows is dangerous. Jack almost felt excited. “He has forbidden me to go”, Tang Yi continued. “Insists that he will be okay since he’s a police officer”, he was practically grumbling now.

Jack grinned evilly. Sheathing his butterfly knife, he stuck it in his pocket and held out a hand. “Of course boss. None of your men would ever think of going to the strip club. Especially not to keep an eye on a certain police operation”. Jack wondered when his life had gotten boring enough for this to seem exciting. It most likely to the organisation going straight, which was great for him. No more hiding. Although if he had to hear more about Tang Yi’s and Shao relationship then he was probably going to have to quit his job.

“Of course the blue rose on fifth is completely off limits tonight”, Tang Yi spoke nonchalantly. “The barman, the drunk man in the corner, the bunny waiter and the man with the pink jacket, and the policeman stripper are totally off limits”. Jack nodded. “Of course boss”. Tang Yi returned his nod and returned to frowning at his paperwork as Jack left the room, closing the door with a snap behind him.

Once jack returned to his cold apartment, he opened his laptop to review the files that Tang Yi has definitely not so secretly, secretly sent about the case the police were working on. From the looks of it, the man they were hoping to arrest, a certain John Smith (what a ridiculous name) was a suspected serial rapist and had strong connections with the sex trafficking industry. Jack read further, finding the names of the officers involved. Shao Fei was registered, along with a Zhao Li An, who must be his partner.

Jack had heard of Zhao Li An before from both Tang Yi and Shao Fei. They had called him Zhao Zi. All jack knew of Shao Fei’s partner was that he seemed to be a complete weirdo. He was an alleged foodie with a almost supernatural talent of making people repent their sins and see the error of their ways. According to Shao Fei, Zhao Zi and once been allowed to interrogate a hit man which had ended with the hitman sobbing heatedly whilst promising to be a better son to his parents and confessing to all his sins. Since then, Shao Fei had explained that they only unleashed Zhao Zi on really despicable criminals such as murderers and rapists. Each and every time they had ended up confessing to all their crimes within an hour, sometimes even crying and apologising to any of their family members as well. Jack found the thought hilarious. There was no way this was true.

As the day dragged on, Jack continued with his tasks with his usual smirk. It was around eight in the evening, the streets already darkening, as he strolled into the Blue rose strip club dressed in his usual red shirt and leather jacket. It was a dingy place with bad lighting and suspiciously sticky floors. The room was not overly crowded which was lucky as Jack was able to score the table with the best vantage point of the room. A few Waitresses dressed in skimpy outfits tottered around the room on three inch heels, handing out drinks menus and cigarettes. On stage, a girl wearing barely nothing twirled seductively on a pole. Grabbing a passing waitress, he ordered a drink and sat back to let his eyes explore the room.

From his position Jack was able to spot all of the undercover policemen exactly as Tang Yi had described. The barman with the black shirt was paying far too much attention to the room than his task, almost dropping the glass he was cleaning. Whilst the waitress with the bunny ears was too nervous to be at ease with the place. The drunk man in the corner was obviously not actually drinking alcohol. And the man in the pink jacket in a booth near the stage, who Jack recognised as Shao Fei, was surveying the room with a clear disinterest in the girls. Jack would have laughed if it would have not drawn attention to himself.

A waitress came over and handed him a glass of gin, just as he had ordered. He took a sip, eyes scanning for the last policeman, Shao Fei’s partner. If he recalled correctly, this was the one undercover as a stripper. Maybe he would be preforming. Smirking to himself, Jack too another sip of his drink as he let his mind try and picture what the performance would be like. He bet it would end in catastrophe, or cause him to crack up. The thought of a policeman trying to be a stripper made him giggle.

He was on his second drink when the target walked in surrounded by goons. Jack fought the urge to laugh again, but it could have just been the slight alcohol. No wonder the guy preferred to rape his victims, he would have a hard time picking up girls with that face. To make it worse, he was so stereotypically a gangster that it was almost painful for a professional like Jack to watch. He cringed as the man arrogantly had one of his lackeys order him a drink, leering at the waitresses and bartenders disgustingly as they sat in booth right next to Jack’s. They were so close he could smell their disgustingly strong aftershave

Across the room, he could see Shao Fei watching them. He caught his eye and the policeman’s gaze widened for a moment as Jack smirked, undoubtedly recognising him even through the terrible lighting. With a slight frown, Shao Fei went back to ignoring him, making a slight signal. Jack watched as the bartender nodded and the girl on stage disappeared behind the curtain. The music changed to something more pop than the sultry tones that had been playing before. Eagerly, Jack leant forward slightly, anticipating the performance that the policeman would put on.

The lights dipped as a small figure walked onstage. Jack though that he looked far to cute to be sexy. The policeman costume he had on was more boyish than sexy with knee length shorts and a cute little cap with a white shirt where a badge was pinned. As the guy walked closer to the pole, he bent forwards on to his hands, flipping slowly over in the air so that he was upside down. Jack watched as the guys legs wrapped around the pole and he raised himself upwards so that he was hanging from his legs. Jack was pleasantly surprised and a little turned on. He hadn’t been expecting the guy to be cute as well as acrobatic. He took back his earlier thoughts. This was definitely sexy.

Biting his lip, Jack glanced at the group on the table next to him. The guy was loving it, eyes firmly stuck on the contorted body on stage. Jack sniggered to himself as he watched Shao Fei’s squad slowly move across the room, subtly surrounding the intended criminals who were too absorbed in the show to notice.

Turning his attention back to the stage, Jack whistled under his breath as the undercover policeman spun around the pole, legs pulled into a split. He spun a few more times, shirt now slightly see through in the stage lighting, making Jack’s eyes dart up and down his small figure. On his fourth spin he seemed to get a signal, stopping his action and jumping off stage on to the club floor. He began stalking his way across the room, closer and closer to Jack’s table. Now that he was nearer, Jack could see the sweat on his neck and the adorably furrowed eyebrows. He looked so damn cute. Curse him and his weakness to cute things.

As the guy passed Jack reached out and caught his wrist. He stopped, facing Jack with a confused, surprised expression. Jack grinned cheekily up at him. “Can I have a bite?” He asked jokingly. Jack saw the guy flinch slightly before tearing the badge off his shirt and stepping away from Jack’s hold. He pointed the badge at John Smith as his fellow officers held up their guns.

“Hands up! you’re under arrest!”

The skin on the back of his left hand burned slightly as Jack gaped. His words faded on his skin, letters indicating that they had been spoken. He watched as Shao Fei and his coworkers descended on the criminals, handcuffing them and pulling them out of the club before standing up to follow them outside. A police van was waiting and the criminals were being pushed inside it whilst Shao Fei read them their rights. His policeman, the guy was definitely his now, was standing to the side. He had been given a jacket and was pouting sullenly about something.

Approaching the small policeman, jack grinned and held out a hand. “Nice to meet you, I’m Jack”. The guy’s face brightened as he saw him and eagerly shook his hand. “Oh you’re my soulmate. Hi! I’m Zhao Li An But everyone calls me ZhaoZi”, Zhao Zi grinned at him. Jack felt himself fall, the guy was so cute.

“So”, he began, feeling his grin turn into a smirk. “Can I have a bite?” Zhao zi looked confused. “Are you hungry? I wasn’t able to grab lunch and I’m starving but all the shops are shut now”, he looked so adorably upset that Jack had to take pity on him. “You got any food at your place? I can cook for you if you want”. Zhao Zi beamed, grabbing Jack’s hand excitedly. “Really? Then I want egg, and ham, and noodles with chicken broth and orange juice...”. Jack felt his eyebrows rise with each listed food. The guy was a cute weird foodie. Jack couldn’t help but feel endeared.

“Well I’ll cook for you. Come on”, still holding Zhao Zi’s hand, Jack began walking with him down the street. Zhao zi called a goodbye to Shao Fei before happily skipping alongside him. “Grandma said you would be a good cook”, he remarked. “She said that my soulmate would be able to cook and provide for me”. Jack grinned wider. “That I can do”.

“My grandma also said that you will stay”. Zhao Zi looked up at Jack earnestly. “Will you stay?”

Jack smiled, wrapping a arm around his soulmates shoulders. “If shorty asks then I will stay”, he promised.