#(('this website is full of idiots' in italian))
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I'd join her cult
questo sito è pieno di idioti
#basilblogging#(('this website is full of idiots' in italian))#((using online translating sorry if i fuck anything up lmao))
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Will never not hate that there's no way for me (that I can find without having to subscribe to anything half legally) to watch the italian version of Name that Tune episodes since Ciro and Fabio have taken over. Italy just let me watch Morgan play a quiz about music pls this is so mephobic
#Morgan#name that tune#name that tune - indovina la canzone#indovina la canzone#italian stuff#ahh the good old times when enrico papi still hosted it and my vpn still worked on tv8#and I could actually watch the eps when they put it on the website#i don't even know if they still put the full eps on tv8 afyer they aired there and not just sky#cause the livestream never accepted my vpn but I could at least watch them afterwards back then#better times#yes I' drunk.and actually sad I can't watch this dumb show#and yes I refuse to pay for sky subscription with a vpn#don't even know if that would work#and yes I know morgan's problematic and an idiot most of the time don't @ ?#* don't @ me I know but I'm obsessed with him and like him for some unexplicable reason#like I really don't know why cause if anyone else did half the drama he did I would have ditched them already#but a certain Marco Castoldi has put a spell on me that I can't escape him & have to like him despite the million BIG flaws he has#and I really don't know why#anyway whatever I'm drunk and I'm rambling sorry#mystuff
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Complicity
Hey everyone! Sorry I’ve been missing for a while, but I’ve had a lot going on and lacking inspiration, until the other day! I know that Lila thinks she’s the smartest person in the room and that everyone else it too stupid to figure her out. So, I decided to let her “think” she’s being smart, but gets caught because she did something stupid. Warm-Fuzzies and please enjoy!
Lila was happy. Since she had become a model, she had acquired a small fan base of people that thought she had beauty and talent. Granted, it wasn’t as large as she thought it should be, but she had only done three photo shoots and had been mentioned in one magazine. But this was just the beginning; soon, all of Europe would know her name and reporters would be clamoring after her for pictures.
But at the same time she was very angry.
This was because Marinette had been mentioned in the same magazine as her. And where Lila got a single photo that showed more of Adrien than it did of her, Maribrat had gotten an entire article and multiple photos about her designs and the collaboration she was doing with Style Queen Audrey Bourgeois since the woman had decided to stay in Paris. She had even looked at the girl’s website and saw that there was an actual wait list to receive one of her original designs.
Enraged that someone she considered to be plain, talentless, and all around lower in status than her, Lila started coming up with plans. She wasn’t about to share her spotlight with anyone, let alone Maribrat.
She was tempted to accuse the bluenette of stealing her designs and ruining her reputation, but since she had been designing for longer than Lila had been in Paris, that had too much of a chance to backfire. She’s thought of sicking one of her classmates/sheep to break into her house and destroy her commission projects, but that also had too much of a chance to backfire since they would likely blab if they were caught.
No, she needed a different type of plan. Something that would be farther removed from herself so nothing would blow back on her, but harsh enough so that even Maribrat wouldn’t connect what happened to her. It took a few weeks and a lot of planning, but she came up with something that would work. It had been the perfect plan, a way to get Marinette out of her life and the spotlight for good.
All it took was some sweet talking one of her new followers; a large, burly boy named Henry that was a couple years older than her and not very bright. He would have done anything for her… including going after a “stalker” that had threatened to hurt her. She barely even had to suggest anything before the boy assured her that he would protect her at all costs. It even seemed to be working when Maribrat was suspiciously absent from school for a few days after Henry said he would “take care of it”.
It had been the perfect plan...
Until the police showed up.
She had just gotten home when the police arrived, saying that she was wanted for questioning in an open case. They had already been in contact with her mother and Greta Rossi had promised them their full cooperation. Rather than risk looking guilty, Lila called her mother to make sure they were telling the truth before grudgingly going with them.
When she got to the police station, she was met by her very confused and furious mother. This wasn’t the first time she had been in trouble with the law. There had been an incident in Rome where she’d been accused of pushing a boy, Simone, down the stairs, and her mother had been forced to pay his medical bills. She had made it very clear that if Lila caused any more problems at school, it would not be pleasant.
So there she was; sitting with her mother and a couple of police detectives that she didn’t recognize, who were giving her condescending looks. “I am Detective Cooper, and this is Detective Raimus. We understand that you have been made aware of your rights, correct?”
“Yes, multiple times. What is this all about? You can’t just bring my daughter in for questioning like she’s some common criminal.” Her mother said as she stared down the two men.
“Mme. Rossi, we need to ask your daughter some questions in connection to an assault that took place against one of her classmates.” Stated Cooper, a detective with a thick mustache.
“Are you or your daughter familiar with a M. Henry Mortaure?”
“I’ve never heard of him,” Lila lied with a shrug.
“Neither have I, who was attacked?” Her mother asked, suddenly worried about what her daughter might have gotten involved in.
“A Mlle. Marinette Dupain-Cheng, are you familiar with the name?” Asked Raimus, who looked a bit older than his partner.
Greta Rossi thought for a second before nodding. “Lila has mentioned her a couple of times, said that she was a bully. What about her?”
“The Dupain-Cheng residence was broken into a few days ago by M. Mortaure. He was armed and confessed to be doing so with the intent of killing Mlle. Dupain-Cheng.” Mme. Rossi gasped in shock while Lila was attempting to hide her smirk with a look of worry. “The Dupain-Chengs were not harmed, although the same cannot be said for M. Mortaure.” Cooper placed some photos in front of them on the table, gaining another gasp from Greta. Three of the man’s limbs were wrapped in heavy gauze, his face was swollen and bruised from a black eye and a seriously broken nose.
Lila didn’t flinch when she saw the photos, but was now fighting a scowl at the knowledge that Henry had failed her. And since she was here in an interrogation room, it could only mean that the idiot had blabbed. But that didn’t matter, she could just say that he must be a crazy stalker who had somehow found out that Maribrat was bullying her and decided to take things into his own hands. After all, it wasn’t like she had called or messaged him from her personal phone. She had bought a burner phone with cash just for this occasion.
“Despite being armed with a pistol, he never had a chance to use it,” Raimus stated as pushed one of the photos towards Lila. “He will require reconstructive surgery on his face from being hit multiple times with a rolling pin. His arms were severely burned when he fell into a fryer, it’s likely that he’ll never have full use of them again. Despite the burns, he attempted to go for a kitchen knife after being disarmed. That knife was turned on him and he ended up with a perforated lung.”
Greta looked like she was going to be sick, unable to look away from the pictures in front of her. But she eventually did, casting a harsh stare at her daughter. “Please, tell me you had nothing to do with this.”
Doing her best to fake her shock, she shook her head and pushed away the photos. “I swear, I had nothing to do with this. I don’t even know why he would do this.”
“We were wondering the same thing and discovered that he’s a fan of yours. He has multiple pictures of you, as well as Mlle. Dupain-Cheng. We suspected that he had been stalking you and came to the conclusion that he thought she was bullying you and decided to protect you on his own-”
“Oh no, that has to be it!” She exclaimed, skillfully faking shock. “Marinette followed me out of school last week and threatened me to stay away from my boyfriend. This boy must have seen her and decided to get rid of her.”
“If that’s the case, why are you questioning my daughter?” Greta pressed, not completely believing Lila but seeming to be coming around to her side.
“As I was saying,” stressed Detective Cooper. “We had suspected that M. Mortaure was stalking your daughter, until we got the warrant for his phone. It seems that someone, supposedly Lila, has been corresponding with him for many weeks. She had been flirting with him, sending him photos of herself, and then Marinette. She went on to tell him that Mlle. Dupain-Cheng was a stalker and had threatened her. M. Mortaure seems to have done what he did with the understanding that he was protecting Lila, at Lila’s own behest.”
“I would never do that!” Lila cried before reaching into her purse to pull out her personal mobile and set it on the table in front of them. “Check my phone, I never messaged him.”
“We have already checked your phone records against the one that has been messaging M. Mortaure, and found that the numbers did not match.” Detective Raimus said, and Lila watched her mother visibly slump from relief… but it was short lived.
“We did, however, track the number to a burner phone that was purchased in cash from a gas station. We thought it was a dead end, but the person who bought the phone made a mistake.” Raimus continued as Detective Cooper pulled out his own mobile and dialed a number. “The person who bought it has kept it on, and it is currently active.”
Seconds after Cooper pressed send, a ringing came from Lila’s purse. Greta Rossi stared at her daughter in shock before yanking the purse out of Lila’s hands and pulling out a second phone from inside. When Cooper cancelled the call, the second phone stopped ringing.
“What have you done?” She spat at Lila.
Panicking, she shook her head while looking around the room for an exit. “That’s not mine! They must have planted it on me when they brought me here! They’re trying to frame me!”
“DON’T LIE TO ME!” Greta screamed at her daughter, causing Lila to practically fall out of her seat in fear. “You convinced someone to commit MURDER for you! That makes you just as guilty as him!”
“But-but I have diplomatic immunity! I can’t be charged for any of this!”
“Yes, you can,” Greta said, her voice going cold. “I may be a secretary to the Italian Ambassador, which grants me immunity, but that doesn’t extend to you! I told you to behave! I told you to never cause trouble like you did in Roma after what you did to that boy that called you out on your…” Understanding washed over Greta’s features as her expression morphed from anger, to understanding, and then disgust. “That’s it, isn’t it? Marinette never bullied you. She knew about your lies and you set out to hurt her just like before!”
Standing up quickly, her mother started pacing the room before looking back to the detectives. “I’ll still need to speak with the ambassador, but you can expect our full cooperation in this.”
“Mom, no!”
“What are the charges?” Greta asked, acting as though Lila wasn’t even there.
“As Lila is a minor, she can be charged with Complicity to Commit Murder, the decision of sentencing is ultimately up to the judge. But seeing as she purposefully bought a burner phone to use and has also lied to the police, I wouldn’t hold much hope.”
~oOo~
The trial took longer than expected. At first, things had been looking up since her followers from class had come to act as character witnesses. All of them saying how wonderful she was, a great friend that did so much for them and everyone she knew, and that she would never do something so terrible. That Marinette was just jealous of Lila, so it was better to take whatever she said with a grain of salt.
Then, the prosecution started their case. Showing evidence of Lila falsifying records at school, video evidence of her purposefully framing Marinette for assault and theft. As well as the communications between herself and Henry, encouraging him to kill Marinette.
Her followers had still been a bit sceptical to believe what the prosecutor was saying about her, not wanting to believe that they had supported someone who would try to get another person murdered. But then came her past victims, many of whom her mother had never known about. Simone from Rome, Sara from Florence, Giulia from Venice, Daniel from Viterbo, and Sofia from Palermo. All of them testifying against Lila, many with screenshots of threatening texts from her, photos of ruined property and injuries she had inflicted on them, and all around proof that Lila was the reason behind many hardships that had happened to them. And all because they had figured out that she was a liar and she had done everything in her power to hurt them.
After all that, the judge had not been kind.
“It is clear, Mlle. Rossi, that you are a very disturbed girl in need of help,” the judge said, not bothering to hide how offput he was by Lila. “I cannot, in good conscious, allow you to roam freely. Having seen that these habits of yours have not only been repeated over and again, but have escalated to attempted murder. I have no choice but to have you returned to Italy where you will be kept in a juvenile detention center until you turn 18, at which point you will be transferred to a mental hospital for treatment for no less than five years. At which point, you will be evaluated to see if you will be able to safely rejoin society.”
Lila was immediately escorted back to Italy in disgrace. Her name slandered across every newspaper and magazine across Europe for what she had done. She was now famous, with most everyone knowing her name and reporters scrambling to take her picture as she did her walk of shame out of the courthouse. She was finally famous, but for all the wrong reasons
In case you are wondering. Henry made the mistake of coming after Marinette when she was with her parents. Tom and Marinette were in the bakery kitchen and Sabine was at the front. Tom saw the gun and hit him in the face with his rolling pin twice. He dropped the gun but was still coming after Marinette, she tripped him and he landed in the frier, which had been turned on to make donuts, and splashed oil all over him. Sabine had rushed back in time to see a bleeding and badly burned Henry grabbing a knife, she did some wicked moves that resulted in Henry stabbing himself. By then, he passed out from the pain and the Dupain-Chengs had called the police. The officers that came were both impressed and terrified by what happened to the boy, but the surveillance footage proved that they were only defending themselves.
TAGLIST:
@2confused-2doanything @7-sage-7 @aadnrsstar @abrx2002 @awkwardromances @bayball @babylovebug18 @botanicalfoxx @caffeinetheory @cheshire5210 @chocolateherringtacofan @city-of-all-tunas @classycollectorreviewworld @corabeth11 @darkened-flame @delightfulcookiesrecipespizza @fandom-trapped-03 @ghostmaster @iamblinkmarvelarmy @interobanginyourmom @izang @jesussavedevenme @kazedancer @kitten12113 @lady-phoenix-of-tardis @lilypotter2018 @lunataravler @maskedpainter @ miraculouslydumb @nerd-nowandforever @ola-is-dead @pandacatxd @plushbookworm @plz-excuse-my-inner-ravenclaw @pheonix-biach @raiderofthelostbooks @ramos123 @rowanrouge @rowanyx @ren121 @seesea22 @seraphichana @sashakoi @shypeacekitten @tazer6787 @that-girl-sakea @thecrazyfantrollshasmoved @the-smallest-kittenz @tishwinchesterannabethjackson @t1dwarrior-of-earth @ulmban @with-forward-motion @wonderbat91939 @zoiechance
#lila salt#lila gets exposed#class salt#miraculous justice#lila karma#tom dupain#sabine cheng#marinette dupain cheng
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Betrayal Chapter 7: Mors tua vita mea
<< 1 -- 2 -- 3 -- 4 -- 5 -- 6 -- 7: Ao3 || FFN -- 8 >>
Written by: JuliaFC
Beta: Agrestebug and myimaginationflows
Summary: Did you think we'd heard the end of Lila? No sir… she's back. And her plan is… scary!
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by (c) Thomas Astruc, TS1 Bouygues, Disney Channel, Zagtoon, Toei Animation. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Written for the "Snippet July" challenge of the Miraculous Fanworks Discord server @miraculousfanworks AND for LadyNoir July @ladynoirjuly Day 18 — Pipe-dream/can't transform. Let me know what you think!
oOoOoOoOoOo
Adrien: [M'lady? Have you forgotten about Prince Ali's engagement ceremony? I'm waiting for you at the Town Hall. Please be quick, Chloé sat next to me since you weren't here.]
Adrien: [M'lady? Are you alright? Haven't heard from you for ages. Please call me as soon as you can.]
Adrien: [Marinette? I'm getting really worried now… your mum and dad also haven't heard from you, nor Alya. Where are you? Chloé won't leave me alone!]
Alya: [Girl? Adrien is very worried, where are you? I'm getting worried too…]
At the bottom of the Seine, a phone beeped with a message received and then switched itself off.
oOoOoOoOoOo
Marinette opened her eyes, a sharp pain spreading from the back of her head. She tried to say something but all she could let out was a muffled: "Mhhhf".
"Oh, you woke up. Alla buon'ora!(1)"
Marinette's eyes widened. She wiggled, desperately trying to move, but her body failed to follow her brain's request. That's when she realised she was tied up.
"Wiggling like the slimy little worm you are." The green in Lila's eyes seemed to sparkle as she smirked. She heard Marinette mhhhf'ing some more and her smirk widened. "So good that finally you've been reduced to the silence you deserve."
Marinette could hardly breathe. What happened? She remembered reading Adrien's text message that the place for the ceremony had changed and to meet him at some luxury boat moored at Port Debilly. She had reached the place, a strange man had let her in and…then nothing. The taste of the cloth that had been stuck into her mouth was overwhelming her. Her skin was all tensed around the tape that shut her mouth.
"Is she awake, sweetie?" The man who'd let her in the boat looked in from the door.
"She is, Jacques. Leave us alone a little longer. Then she'll be all yours," said Lila looking at him and the man smirked before closing the door behind him.
Marinette's heart went into overdrive.
"Amazing what you can achieve with flattery." Lila looked at her again, showing her a website that displayed the message she received from Adrien earlier. "And amazing what you can find on the internet. It was so easy…just flattering the right people and I got access to this fake SMS website. And Jacques…is the perfect pawn. He thinks I'll help him sign an exclusivity deal with Prince Ali for his cruising boats. Che imbecille. (2)" She cackled. "And now, it's the end of you. You won't prevent me from achieving my goals again." She slammed her hands on the table in front of her. "All my plans always ended up being no more than pipe-dreams, all because of you! I HATE you, Marinette. You'll pay for all the tears I've shed on my pillow at night."
Marinette wanted to tell Lila that this was going too far. This was much worse than threatening. This was kidnapping. Attempted murder. This was a criminal offence. As annoying and evil as Lila had always been, Marinette didn't expect that she would fall this low. But she couldn't say anything, she could only struggle more with the knots that were tying her arms and hands.
"Pointless of you to try to open those knots," said Lila when she saw her struggling with it. "Jacques was a sailor, he's an expert at knots of any kind. You won't free yourself. Whatever you do. And no superhero will find you here. Jacques will stay, to make sure nobody finds you until Papillon comes back." She patted softly on her cheek. "Yes, Marinette. Papillon wants you spared, to akumatise you. He thinks you'd be his best akuma. Un altro imbecille (3). You must die, and I will make sure you will, this time. This time you won't ruin my plans. I'll be the winner at the end and the real pipe-dream will be yours!" Her face lit up with an eerie light as she sneered. "Mors tua, vita mea(4), after all. You brought this on yourself."
Cackling, she moved to the door. "Jacques? I'm done with her. I'll go to Prince Ali's ceremony now, give me some time to talk to him, okay?"
"I'll make sure the cat won't find her, sweetie. Don't worry."
A wave of disgust shook Marinette's gut when Lila gave the man a quick peck on the lips. But as Lila closed the door behind her and the man kept staring at where she left dreamily, Tikki popped out of her shirt and looked at her with a determined frown.
"Don't worry, Marinette. We'll figure out something!"
All Marinette could do was dart her gaze towards one of the windows of the boat, but Tikki shook her head.
"I won't leave you alone."
Marinette closed her eyes and lowered her head.
oOoOoOoOoOo
"Any sign of her, Rena?" said Chat Noir to his communicator.
Chloé had been more clingy than she used to be in the bad times, but as soon as he'd managed to get rid of her, he transformed and started looking for Marinette. The ceremony for Prince Ali's engagement hadn't even started yet, but he didn't give a damn. It was unusual of Marinette to not contact anyone for hours, and his gut feeling told him she was in danger.
"No sign of her anywhere. She won't even answer her bugphone."
Chat Noir sighed. "I know. I've been calling her non stop for hours on both phones. I have a nasty feeling about this."
Carapace appeared near Rena on her communicator. "Don't worry, dude. We'll find her," he said before Rena hung up.
"Hope so, bro." Chat Noir looked at his baton with concern. It felt like a useless exercise to look for her in superhero form. Wherever she was, it wasn't in full sight. There was only one other thing he could do. He opened his communicator again and dialed Nathalie's number.
To be continued… Day 19
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Notes:
Alla buon'ora = At bloody last! (Italian)
Che imbecille = What an idiot (Italian)
Un altro imbecille = Another idiot (Italian)
Mors Tua Vita Mea = Your death, my life (Latin)
-------------------------------
Author's Note
Well.. so now you know. Lila wasn't seething in the distance for no reason at the end of the other chapter. Marinette has pushed her buttons a little too much and… well, she may have gone a bit extreme but, why not?
I hope you liked it and will leave me a comment. You know that comments are my bread and butter!
Until tomorrow, bug out!
#miraculous ladynoir#miraculous love square#miraculous lb#miraculous les aventures de ladybug et chat noir#miraculous adrien#miraculous ladybug#miraculous#miraculous nathalie#nathalie sancoeur#ladynoirjuly2021#miraculous fanworks#lila rossi#lila rossi's plan is scary
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lord Martiya’s Lilanette Week 2021, part 1: Trapped Together
@lilanette-week
@lilanette
Well, here’s a new Lilanette Week… And another series of connected chapters to form a full love story. As always, I use the French names and have Lila from Rome for my personal amusement, plus one of my OCs. Hope you’ll enjoy it.
06/20: Trapped Together
“DUPAIN-CHENG! ROSSI! YOU SHALL PAY!”
Marinette pinched her nose as she heard the voice of the one Akuma she had faced more often than Mr. Pigeon. It had been a while since Rose Bride had appeared, enough that she thought Papillon had grown bored with her, but right after her brief expulsion and the consequent readmission the single most annoying Akuma had reappeared.
“Seriously, what’s her problem?”
Oh, and she couldn’t take her down because Lila, hearing the Akuma calling for Marinette, had an attack of common decency and dragged the heroine in disguise in a closet, earning Rose Bride’s anger in the process when she used a flashbang grenade (bought from an airsoft website) to stun it.
“Chevalot is convinced her and Adrien are fated to be together and gets Akumatized every time she thinks someone is putting the moves on him.” Marinette explained.
“So, every five minutes?���
“Not really. Though she’s still the most frequent Akuma even with Papillon ignoring her since a few days after the term started. We thought he had given up on her…”
“Not surprised, I’ve seen how incompetent she is that one time. At least Mr. Pigeon is funny, this idiot’s like a fork in the soup.”
Marinette had to suppress a snort at the ridiculous comparison.
“I suppose we’ll have to stay here for a while. Anything funny to share while we wait?” Lila asked.
“She thinks Adrien is Chat Noir, because only he deserves to be a hero.” Marinette deadpanned, getting Lila to put her head between her (surprisingly large) hands and shake it.
“Goddammit, Adrien’s so naive I underestimated his brains until the other day, Chat Noir’s a genius that can make sense of Ladybug’s weird plans. And that’s without the thing he just knew I had after Volpina…”
“What do you mean?”
“That’s between him and me. But how is she still here? Between the serial Akumatizations and how I overheard her treating her classmates, you’d think she’d have been expelled by now.”
“She’s the daughter of the prefect. He may be under enough investigations that the mayor’s office took over the police, but he’s still powerful enough to cover for her.”
“I’ll put her in a pocket and deal with her later, then.”
That one Marinette recognized as a (paraphrased) Roman insult. Still, now she had to ask something: “Why did you get me expelled and then readmitted? If you hate me so much, it doesn’t make sense.”
“For hopefully the last time, I don’t hate you.” came the answer. “You’ve just made yourself a threat by not letting my house card stand in peace, and when I was paid to get you expelled, I didn’t have reason to refuse. But I like you well enough that when I was asked to get you back in, I did it.”
Marinette didn’t say anything for a while, the silence interrupted only by the Akuma’s shouts. Then, filing away for later the fact someone had paid Lila to get her expelled, she asked another thing: “If you know the situation with your lies is so bad, why don’t you come clean?”
“Because I can’t, obviously. My mom’s a diplomat, everything we’re seen or caught doing or saying reflects on Italy. I’m just a teenager so I have a bit more leeway, but I still did a stupid thing and I can’t just come clean.”
“Oh.”
“Oh indeed. Will you leave me alone until I move away? I doubt it’ll take much longer.”
“Er… You said something about friendship some time ago. Just… Just don’t lie unless necessary, OK?”
It took a moment before Lila accepted Marinette’s extended hand. “Very well. So, how do you punch? You’ll have to know that, I mean, with the crazier guys…”
Before Marinette could answer they heard Rose Bride’s shrill shout of excitement, and then the Ladyblog announced Chat Noir had soloed the Akuma with a picture and a rope.
“Well, time for me to deal with our lady friend.” Lila said as she opened the door and went out with the same grin she had given Marinette before faking she had been thrown from the stairs.
A few moments later Marinette transformed into Ladybug and went to finish off the villain – and find Chat Noir had a realistic picture of himself and Adrien “entertaining” each other.
“WHERE DID YOU FIND IT?!” she screamed after Chat showed it off.
“Volpina made a few and sent them to her PC, and Lila gave me copies when I asked.” Chat replied, completely at peace with it. “Oh, and Adrien said he’s OK with it.”
Making a point of getting her own copies from Lila, Ladybug broke the Akumatized object, purified the Akuma… And was surprised when Lila popped up and asked if they wanted to have fun with her and Marinette. And also when Chevalot pulled a box cutter and attacked Lila – only at the box cutter, though. Lila reflexively grabbing the offending arm, on the other hand, was expected.
“A’nfame, sei uscita dall’ovo de Pasqua?!” Lila exclaimed, expressing her “surprise” at Chevalot’s action. Had she not known the Italian had been planning to get rid of her, Ladybug would have bought it.
________________________________
By the time Ladybug visited Lila’s home to get the pictures, Chevalot had been expelled and forcefully committed to psychiatric treatment – attacking a diplomat’s daughter with a blade and no Akuma had been too much for her protections. Lila was now the school’s hero. And managed to surprise the visiting heroine.
“Get your own entertaining, you pervert.” Lila replied to her request. “Before you ask, I gave it to Chat Noir because he was in it, and that’s it. Though I can give you another thing I did to kill time while Akumatized.” and she showed a picture of Volpina using a whip and other things on Ladybug. One on glossy paper, not on her phone or PC, saving her devices when a thoroughly blushing Ladybug grabbed the picture and ripped it.
“ANYWAY!” the heroine shouted as she forced herself to calm down and stop blushing. “I saw you helped Marinette, I thought you hated her.”
“We had disagreements, and resolved them. Something I fear the two of us can only do with my revenge.”
“What?”
“I’m not an idiot. I know you were only apologizing to make yourself look good with your friend. Or maybe because I put you through hell, I saw the Ladyblog about your battle with Volpina, you would have lost your Miraculous early had it not been for that pigeon.”
“It’s not like that! I know I went too far at the park, just that!”
“You know, I’m a diplomat’s daughter. I’m an expert of this kind of lies. And your mascot character, or whoever gave you the earrings, trained you well – I’d have bought it if I hadn’t known better.”
“But…”
“You said it yourself, we’ll never be friends. Now, get the pictures you’re entitled to and get out of my house.”
With a sigh and no pictures, Ladybug left, wondering how she could deal with this problem.
#lilanette#lilabug#ladypina#volpinette#miraculous#miraculous ladybug#miraculousladybug#miraculous lb#Marinette Dupain-Cheng#lila rossi
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Caught Up In You
Rating: Explicit Relationship: Non-binary Moth Monster x M!Human Warning: Stress, Comfort, Communication in relationships, Date night, Blowjob, Oral, Dirty talk, they/them pronouns
Word Count: 2735
A few things help relieve stress. Cuddling, Kissing, Orgasms.
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Nobody tells you the stress of starting a business. They mention it's hard, if even that, but they focus on the good. So many websites spew how simple it was to get their dream job started with just a small payment. Small payment my ass. They never talk about the countless phone calls and advertisement costs. Its frustration after frustrations.
The morning is spent in my office, returning and making phone calls until I'm considering crushing the device in my hands. I toss the house phone to the side and lean back in my chair. Rubbing my face I groan into my hands. I just need a quick break, just a moment of peace.
I step out of the room for some much-deserved lunch. Sorting through the kitchen I barely notice Sicily sitting at the island. They clear their throat, catching my attention when I grab a box from the shelf.
"Hello," they answer sweetly," I haven't seen you all morning." I nod, turning back to meal prep.
"I've been working in the office all morning," I grumble to myself.
"shame," they answer," I much prefer waking up to your pretty face." I can't help but smile to myself, picking out a bowl on the shelf above. I'm inclined to agree with them, I much prefer waking with them snuggled into my side.
"Sorry, Tommy called around 6 and he has been way too hard to get ahold of. Since then its been phone call after phone call," I sigh," it's a lot." I cradle my bowl to myself as I turn towards them, leaning against the counter.
"awe, poor baby," they coo, leaning on the table," is there anything I can do to help?" I eat as I watch them, admiring their wide eyes and colorful pelt. They are so beautiful, it's hard not to admire them every time they are around.
"No," I smile," Thanks though." they grin back, standing from the seat to walk around the island.
"Are you sure," they ask as they pull me into a soft hug," you don't want kisses?" I rest my head to their furry neck, grinning like a fool as they cradle my face.
"I mean, I'm not opposed to some kisses," I shrug.
They laugh," then sweet kisses my love will get." I tilt towards them as they pepper sweet kisses to my face. Kissing around my head, cheek, nose, and finally, my lips. As they bless me with their divine kisses their antennas bop me on the head, brushing down to my forehead.
They pull back enough to rest their head on mine, pressing one more kiss to my nose. I can't stop the smiling pulling at my cheeks as I stare at their beautiful eyes.
"Thank you," I mumble.
"You have been so busy lately, you should take a break today," they offer. The moment is broken at their suggestion. They have been trying all week to get me to take a day off but it's just not an option. This is the most important part of trying to get my name out there, I need to be attentive at all times. I groan, leaning away from them in favor of finishing my lunch.
"Not yet, dear," I shake my head," it's not a good time." out the corner of my eye I see them pouting, scolding me while aiming for sympathy.
They huff," you haven't even bothered to slow down for a night. That's all I'm asking for is one night."
"I'm sorry," I try to convince," just a little bit longer, I'm gotten Timmy to consider talking to some of his executive friends and I may have a place to set up shop by next week. I swear, just power through a bit longer without me." I try to be thoughtful in my answer, still persuading them to believe me. I've been saying the same thing all week. It's just that nothing can be pushed aside for a day, it all demands attention now.
"one night, that's all I want. Some dinner and a movie," they pet up my arm," maybe some much-needed attention." their soft hands stir my heart into a frenzy. It does sound appealing. I try to sway against them, though I know I can't really deny them anything.
I sigh," one night, and if something comes up you can't get mad when I have to step out."
They light up," really? Yes, absolutely. We doing that tonight?" they practically vibrate in their excitement, it's flattering that they adore my company so much.
"yea," I pull them closer," tonight sounds perfect." they squeal, jumping around before giving me a kiss.
"Oh, this is so terrific! I can order something from your favorite little restaurant then we can cuddle on the couch and watch some movies. There have been so many good movies you have missed while you were working and I can already think of a few we need to watch," they ramble. I listen on, adoring their enjoyment of just ideas.
I stow away in my office till dinner, surprisingly to their command. Sicily told me to sit there and not come out till they come to retrieve me. So as a good boyfriend I sat and got work done. It feels like the afternoon flies by till the sun is setting. The minimal light shines through my window, decorating the room with yellows and orange. As I pop my fingers the door opens.
"Dinner's ready," they smile. I eagerly jump up from the seat, my stomach rumbling at the mention of food.
"Great, it's from the Italian place, right," I ask as I follow them down the hall.
"yea, I got you the Cajun pasta you adore so much," they answer. I wrap an arm around them as I enter the dining room.
I peck their cheek," you treat me so well."
Their neck poofs up," well someone has to." I smile at them before settling down for dinner.
The meal is delicious as usual. The atmosphere is gentle, if not romantic. It seems Sicily truly worked hard to make the night special. I really don't deserve them. The conversation is flowing and the wine is sweet. I almost waste the night just talking to them before they stand and grab my dish.
"Living room next," they smile," I did something you might like." my curiosity is peaked. As they put the dishes away I walk over to the living room, stopping at the doorway in awe.
The living room is decked out in a giant fort. Blankets are strewn across the couch and over unlit lamps. The only thing illuminating the large covered space is fairy lights. Pillows decorate the ground in a makeshift bed. The tv is on a menu, ready for the movie to be selected.
As I gawk at the room Sicily steps up behind me, the smell of popcorn following them.
"Do you like it," they ask, throwing back a handful of popcorn. I look to them, grinning like an idiot before giggling.
"of course I love it," I turn to them, wrapping an arm around their waist," you did a great job, dear." they fluster, poofing up their fluff with a twinkle in their eyes. I lean towards them, lifting a hand towards their face. They gravitate towards me, readying themselves for a kiss. I switch my direction last second and grab a fistful of popcorn.
"What movie did you pick out," I ask as I walk away, shoving the fistful into my mouth. As they don't answer I look over my shoulder at them in time to see them shake their head. They playfully scold me, following me into the room.
I crawl on all fours into the fort, falling onto the collection of pillows with a sigh. I relax onto my back, belly full, and feeling content. Watching the crawl in and sit beside me I reach out and hug them close, resting my cheek on their fuzzy thigh. They reach out absentmindedly and pet my hair, fiddling with the remote.
"What are we watching," I ask, nuzzling to their leg.
"Some horror-comedy Rebecca from work recommended," they answer," they said it was surprisingly good." I shrug, leaning over to grab more popcorn.
The movie starts and Sicily lays propped on a stack of pillows. They grab me and cradle me close to their chest, petting my hair as the intro begins.
I can barely focus on the movie as their presence captivates my entire attention. Their nimble fingers card through my hair as their large galaxy eyes watch the television. The glow of the fairy lights glitters across their face, making the whites and pale greens pop. The urge to reach up and play with the fuzz is strong. They are just too beautiful, the handsome contours of their face draw me in every time.
As I watch them they turn to look down at me. They open their mouth to speak but stop, cupping my face softly. Driven by pure desire I crawl up them, resting my lower body against them. I pet at their face, leaning down to capture their warm lips. They shutter, their wings trying to fan out as I press my chest to theirs.
"Are we skipping the movie," they ask between my needy kisses. I trail my lips down their face to the fluff on their neck, rubbing my cheek against them.
"Do you want to skip the movie," I ask," don't let my eagerness distract you." I lift off them enough to speculate on their choice. They look at me then towards the screen behind me.
"well," they start," I guess I've already missed so much, I wouldn't understand it if I tried to watch now." their smirk tells me all I need to know. Before I can return it and continue my attentions they hike their leg and force me onto my back. They straddle me quickly, keeping my down with hands on my chest.
"You in charge tonight," I cock a brow, a smile hurting the seductive look I was going for.
"This night is for you," they lean down towards my ear," so let me show you how proud I am." a snarky remark sits on the end of my lips but it's stopped when they kiss me. I let them take charge, relaxing into the assault of their lips.
Their hands pet up and down my chest before going under my shirt and touching me, skin to skin. Their soft hands are warm against my stomach. They are even warmer as they trail down to my pants. I startle at the pace, not realizing how quickly my cock was going to be pulled out. They fist at my shaft, squeezing me in a pulsing grip. I stutter in the kiss, turning away to breathe.
"Oh," I grunt," getting to the main course so soon?"
They hum in thought," perhaps not the main course but something just as exciting." their teasing is pushed aside as they slide down my body, pushing my pants down as they do. They stop at my hips, their face dangerously close to my cock. I eagerly watch them lazily jerk me off, thumbing at my tip while they ponder their next action.
It's not hard to figure out where this is leading, their lips slowly leading towards my dick. The need to grab them and press them to me is strong, but I resist. I lean back onto the pillow, trying to calm my racing heart as I watch them press a soft kiss to my shaft.
"Sicily," I grunt," please." the anticipation is killing me, I need something more. They look at me, smirking at the effect they have on me. Before I can say anymore they lick up my shaft, swirling their long tongue around my tip. They circle under the crown, tugging slightly before lowering their whole mouth over it. The warm wet cavern is a relaxing feeling. The tension fades as I reach out and grab the base of their antenna.
"God, yes," I groan. They lightly suckle at my tip, their tongue slipping out slightly to tease the rest of my throbbing cock. I want them deeper, I need more. I tug on their antenna, nudging them further down. They follow my silent command, taking my cock further into their mouth. I wince, seething at the velvet feeling of them. They suck gently, bobbing in a shallow pace. A hand holds the base of my cock while the other pets at my stomach. They play with my happy trail, their fuzz teasing mine.
The slow build is pleasing, the suction thrilling. I can't help but guide their descents, pushing just a bit harder each time. I want to be deep in their throat, feeling them swallow around me. They follow my lead, not complaining as they are forced to take more and more. I sigh, my cock throbbing as their cheeks hallow. I can't help the slight buck of my hips, bouncing slightly as I increase their pace.
"Little more," I bite at my lip," just a bit more, Sicily, and I will cum in that sweet mouth." they hum around me, bobbing in haste. My body twitches, my hips buck, and a cry rips from my throat. I'm close. Sicily lets go of my cock and holds my hips, jerking my body towards them.
My body stiffens as my jerks become wild. I clench their head perhaps just a bit too tight but they don't seem to mind as they increase their attention tenfold. I gasp and groan, crying out for them as I cum down their throat. They swallow everything I give them, my tip feeling the muscles contract. I arch to them, forcing their head down as I ride out my high.
I soon fall slack against the pillows, releasing my hold on them as I shut my eyes and catch my breath. I jerk as they release my cock from their all too pleasing mouth. I faintly feel them crawl up my body and lay against my chest. My arm is pulled around them, I snuggle them close.
"you are too good for me," I pant," I don't know what I did to deserve you but I'll accept this glitch in the matrix."
They scoff," you earned it, you deserve everything." I fluster, leaning down to press a kiss to their head. Their little antennas bop my face.
"give me a second and I can care for you," I say. I feel them shake their head, the fuzzy tickling the hairs on my chest.
"No, tonight is for you. You have hardly relaxed all week," they turn to me," I want you to be pampered tonight before you leave me in the morning." I look down at them, concern lacing my features. It's easy to realize how difficult it has been for me lately but it's hard to think how hard it's been for them. I feel awful at this moment not being there for them like I used to.
"I'm sorry, Sicily," I cup their cheek," work has really taken my attention away from you and that's unforgivable."
"no," they sit up," it's fine, really. I jus-"
"no, it's not fine," I interrupt," I really do love you and appreciate all you do for me. It's not ok for me to take that for granted. So, I promise to have breakfast with you every day. No more waking up to empty beds. I know it's not much but it's all I can offer right now. In the morning I'm going to cook us breakfast and snuggle with you in bed." its truly not much but I can't stand how absent I've been from them. The love of my life has been playing second fiddle to so many things lately and I won't allow that.
"love," they kiss my palm," I would love that." I smile sweetly to them, leaning down for a kiss. I faintly taste myself on them and a pleased hum rolls up my throat.
"You sure I can't tend to you tonight," I ask.
The grin," I mean, who am I to argue?"
They chuckle as I roll them over and crawl on them.
I truly don't deserve them, but I'm going to cherish every second either way.
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There are a lot of stories I want to write, this was one of them. I wanted something with a moth monster and a pillow fort, cause thats a dream date right there.
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on the job pt 2.
John Porter x Female! Reader
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A/n: here is a part two! <3
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Genre: Romance, Friendship, Fluff, Hints of Erotica Rated: Everyone Warning: Fluffy, Flirting, Swearing, Hints of Erotica but nothing explicit.
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Author: dabisburntnut
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When 5pm rolled around, you were feeling nervous, shaking your leg and rubbing your lips in thought. The website of the Italian place that you told John about was open, and you were looking at all the food options they had while keeping an eye on the people still in the office. The office was mostly cleared, only the extra hard-working agents or those working on missions were in the office still.
You were browsing the wine selections, looking at the zinfandel wines. There were many different wines, all looking very good, and you hummed deeply in indecisiveness. Their wine selection was so big! A deep rumble from beside you made you jump and gasp.
“Mm, zinfandel wines…didn’t know you were a fan of zinfandel.”
Your hand clutched your chest, and you hissed at the man.
“John, you’re going to give me a heart attack one of these days!”
John chuckled from over your shoulder, giving you a teasing look.
“Sorry, you’re just so easy.”
You glared at him before pointing to the screen.
“I’m not easy…pick a wine that you want…and what you want to eat, you damn jerk.”
John chuckled deeply before turning your computer to him, scrolling through the wine menu. As he focused, you took in his attire and appearance. He had cleaned himself up a bit, wearing a dark blue suit jacket with a black tie, his dark blue slacks looking a bit tight around his thighs.
John’s hair looked brushed, seeming soft to the touch and smelling nice as well. John’s voice made you jolt again, your eyes fluttering at the smell of a nice cologne wafting from his neck.
“It isn’t nice to stare at people.”
“I’m just surprised you clean up so well.”
John rolled his eyes, even though there was an amused grin on his face. After he made his selections, he turned the screen back to you with a nod of his head, and you hummed.
He had chosen a dark red wine branded as Riunite Lambrusco, and he had added a plate of lobster fra diavolo to the cart. You made your selection of wine and food after a moment of thinking, and you leaned back into your seat as the order went through.
“Alright, should be about a good twenty minutes until it gets here.”
John smiled at you before he leaned back in his seat, crossing his arms as he stared at you for a couple seconds.
“I thought it wasn’t nice to stare at people, Mr. Porter.”
“You’re so beautiful, I just can’t help myself.”
Your face went hot with a blush, and you stared at the website of the restaurant with pursed lips. John grinned to himself in accomplishment, and you mumbled to yourself.
“John Porter, you’re ridiculous.”
John chuckled and tapped your chair with his foot.
“Come on now, love. I only speak the truth.”
You shook your head at him, thankful when the website dinged, telling you that the food was here. Shooting up from your seat, you pointed to John.
“Stay right here, Porter.”
“Yes ma’am.”
He winked at you, and you shook your head before greeting the man who had been allowed in.
“Here’s your food, ma’am.”
You smiled at the young man, and his ears turned pink, a shy smile on his face, and you grabbed your wallet to give him a few bills as another tip.
“Here you go. Thanks again.”
“O-Of course!”
You walked back to the desk, unbagging the food and wine, and you held up the bottles.
“Which one do we open first?”
John hummed in thought before asking.
“Which one has more alcohol?”
You laughed, head thrown back and you said.
“Mr. Porter, we still have to drive our way home.”
John winked at you, replying back cheekily.
“We could always get a cab…perhaps go back to my place?”
Your cheeks felt hot again, and you looked at the bottle of wine in your hand. Was it a good idea? Should you take all of the food and wine and drive to John’s place? You knew that the night would end one of two ways if you did.
But was it so bad?
John’s look was diminishing, and he apologized quietly.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”
“No, it’s fine. It’s…a better idea than being in the office. I’ll follow behind you?”
John’s eyes lit up, and he nodded, grabbing his keys from his pocket. You grabbed your laptop and incomplete mission reports, packing them into your bag before grabbing the food and following after John.
He smiled down at you softly, and you cleared your throat, gesturing to the bag.
“I don’t know if the food is gonna stay hot during the ride to your apartment.”
“We can reheat it.”
You looked up at him as the elevator got to the garage area.
“And what about the wine? It might not be cold enough.”
John urged to you, placing his warm hand on your shoulder.
“Don’t worry about it. I’ve got it covered. Trust me.”
You nodded, and John smiled at you before you both went to your separate vehicles.
-TIMESKIP-
You had finally gotten to his place after about fifteen minutes of driving, and when you had gotten to his apartment, you both had dug into the food and wine, talking about anything and everything. By the time you both had finished your food, you had already drank one bottle of wine and started on the other.
You were giggling as you drank your fifth glass of wine, sitting close to him. John was on his fifth glass as well, and he was giggling with you.
“John, we’re running out of wine!”
“I think I have something else here.”
He got up, and your eyes wandered all over his body, staying on his ass as he went into his fridge. Taking out a bottle of vodka, John grabbed two extra large shot glasses. Walking back to you, he waved the half-full bottle, and you said to him, leaning into his side when he sat back down beside you and opened the bottle.
“What’s a man doing with a lonely bottle of vodka? Surely, you aren’t drinking that by yourself.”
John chuckled a bit, glancing over at you before looking back at the glasses, pouring two shots.
“The same reason a woman will have a lonely bottle of wine.”
“Oh, you poor thing.”
You both giggled, and John turned to you, handing you your shot glass. Tapping his glass against yours, John said to you with a grin.
“Cheers, love.”
“Wait, wait, let’s do that marriage thing where the bride and groom intertwine their arms before taking the drink!”
John smiled before you both interlocked your arms and took your shots, and your eyes squeezed shut from the strength of the vodka. You hummed a bit, leaning a bit close to John, his blue eyes zeroed in on you.
“We should do that again. That was much fun.”
“I think I have another idea of something much more fun.”
You tilted your head at him, and John’s eyes half-lidded, his hand coming up and thumb gripping your chin. He leaned in slowly, his lips brushing against yours, and you shivered from the softness. Letting your shot glass down, you cupped John’s face and fully kissed him, John’s hands immediately cupping your face as well.
With vigor, you both kissed each other, tasting the alcohol on each other’s tongues. John pulled back a bit, his voice deep as he said to you.
“Been wanting to do that for so damn long.”
Your cheeks flushed warm, and you were certain it wasn’t because of the alcohol.
“Then why the fuck did you wait so damn long, you idiot?”
John growled at you, pulling you closer to him.
“It isn’t nice to call people names…I should teach you a lesson on how to be nice.”
“Oh yes, Professor Porter, teach me everything you know.”
[END]
#John Porter#Reader#John Porter x Reader#John Porter Oneshot#Strike Back#Strike Back Fanfiction#Richard Armitage#Richard Armitage x Reader
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A Kingdom For a Book: Part 2
I’m having way too much fun with this idea...
With one failed attempt under their belt, they end up having lunch in Chinatown before heading back to the hotel to regroup and debrief. Tsuna and Gokudera end up sitting on one bed, Gokudera nose deep in a laptop, while Yamamoto leans back on another, and Ryohei slumps the wrong way round in a chair.
“I see why the Ninth didn’t want us to come here,” Yamamoto says. “Do you think the owner knew who we were?”
Tsuna shook his head. “No, I think he would have treated us that way even if we weren’t Vongola. There was something about that shop...it just felt wrong.”
Ryohei frowns. “That’s strange to the extreme. This could be challenging.”
Gokudera is nodding, digging up the research he’d been tinkering with even before they arrived.
“Okay, so that building? It’s been there since the 1700’s,” he explains. “That’s when Soho was built up for the aristocracy, and the book shop’s been around since then. Which is pretty damn impressive considering the wealthy all more of less fled mid 1800’s when there was a cholera outbreak and the neighbourhood took a serious dive. I don’t think there’s a lot of business in London that have been in the same building that long, and if they did, they’re a lot more successful. At this point, A.Z.Fell & Co should be a historic monument or tourist attraction just due to it’s existence, but it’s only reputation-”
At this he tosses his hands up in the air in disbelief.
“-Is a handful of websites for rare book dealers bemoaning it’s existence! There’s a 3000 word essay on here that’s just analysing the opening times! I’ve never seen a white noise spot as bad as this outside of the mafia! It shouldn’t even be possible without mist flames!”
“Are we sure they’re not?” Yamamoto asks, head tilting.
Tsuna shakes his head.
“No,” he insists. “I don’t know what it was about that building, but flames weren’t involved. Besides, it’s too obvious in its refusal to sell.”
Everyone gives a slow nod at that, and Tsuna bites his lip.
“What we need it witness accounts,” he says. “We need to know what doesn’t work.”
This quickly results in Gokudera frantically tapping on his laptop again and setting up a video call with Dino in Italy. When he learns where they are, his face flinches – as if he’s just watched a man belly flop from a high dive.
“Reborn sent you where?” he asks. “The Ninth can’t possibly have approved that.”
“He wasn’t happy about it,” Tsuna admits. “But...it’s Reborn. You don’t really tell him no.”
Dino grimaces. “I feel for you little bro. I wish I could help, but I’ve never tried my luck against the devil of Soho.
“The devil of Soho?” the four repeat, and Dino chuckles.
“Oh, it’s kind of an in-joke among people who’ve tried,” he explains. “The shop is on a crossroad, and someone one suggested you’d probably have to sell your soul in exchange for a book from A.Z. Fell, and it kind of caught on. Plus, according to Christianity, devils or demons are supposed to be fallen angels, and they guy is called ‘Fell,’ so...”
Tsuna guesses it’s probably funnier for the Italians, because Gokudera’s openly cackling. Although that said, Ryohei is also grinning, so maybe he’s a fan of the crossroads story. The boxer does often enjoy American music…
“You might as well give selling your soul a shot though,” Dino continues. “Because I don’t have the slightest clue what else would work.”
Yamamoto frowns, leaning back in a stretch that almost looks painful.
“If we can’t buy a book, can we just buy out the shop?” he asks Dino, and Gokudera brightens.
“The Baseball Idiot has a point. I mean, this is Soho, and that shop can’t be making enough to stay in business. Can’t we just buy the building, or bribe the owner?”
“You really think nobody ever thought of that?” Dino asks, eyebrows raising. “The Fell family are loaded; they own that building, and they’ve never accepted a single offer.”
“Then we’ll make it a really good one. Reborn said our credit limit was unlimited for this-”
“Ten years ago Mr. Fell was offered five times what the building was worth and he didn’t even think it over” Dino interrupts. “And if you think you can scare him out, think again. People have tried everything from hiking his electric bills to bribing the council to shut him down for health reasons. I hear the building was even set on fire once. Nothing sticks, and it always comes back round to whoever tried their luck. An awful lot of enforcers change careers after a run in with A.Z. Fell.”
Dino sounds a little bitter by the end, and Tsuna frowns.
“That sounds a little personal,” he says. “Did Reborn try and make you go?”
His self proclaimed older brother suddenly finds it very hard to meet his eyes.
“No, but let’s just say I have it on good authority that one of the reasons my family ended up in such dire financial straights is because my grandfather tried to ah...convince Mr. Fell to move into a building owned by my family so he could have regular access to his collection,” Dino says. “A week later, there’s a freak accident with our accountant’s computer systems that sees 60% of our assets frozen while a record of all our recent financial dealings was sent first class to the local police department. By the time we cleared it up the money was gone.”
Gokudera does a full body flinch.
“How-”
“I don’t know. And I don’t want to know” Dino tells him. “Some of those financials weren’t even supposed to have a paper trail. When my negotiation trial came up, I told Reborn I wasn’t setting foot in that shop. That I’d try and negotiate peace in Korea before I went to Soho.”
Yamamoto whistles, and Tsuna’s optimism sinks even more.
“Where’d you end up?” Tsuna asks.
“Guinea-Bissau,” Dino says. “Came out of it with only two bullets wounds too.”
“...Thats...good?” Tsuna offers, frantically trying to remember exactly where on a map that was, and Dino shrugs.
“Better than Xanxus any way” he offers. “He was lucky to get out intact.”
Yamamoto immediately lights up. “Oh yeah. The Ninth said he’d tried.”
“Lets call the Varia, to the extreme!” Ryohei agrees.
“Not sure how useful he’ll be,” Dino warns as they say goodbye. “His tactics weren’t really compatible with you.”
That’s hardly news to Tsuna, but a list of what definitely wont work is better than no list at all at this point. Yamamoto is already punching in Squalo’s number.
---
Two minutes later, Tsuna is wondering how far he can be from a video screen without appearing offensive, because Xanxus is glaring like he wants to reach through the computer and strangle Tsuna for the crime of bothering him.
Which, to be fair is Xanxus’s general mode of being, but Tsuna hasn’t survived this long by getting complacent. Given his life, it’s not impossible Xanxus has figured out how to do it.
At least the Varia commander is taking his question seriously – the glare had almost vanished when Yamamoto had explained just where they were.
“Whatever you do, don’t steal one” Xanxus warns when Yamamoto finishes up, and Tsuna finds himself leaning forward.
“You stole one?” he says. “I thought the requirement was legal purchase.”
“I was getting desperate!” Xanxus snarls, almost defensively. “Fell-Trash is impossible to reason with. Not that it did me any good. Cost me three months, my body weight in pride and a Lightning Guardian.”
At that Tsuna pauses, and glances to the corner of the screen where he can see Xanxus’s guardians, Levi included, not-so-subtly listening in. Xanxus rolls his eyes.
“Parasol-Trash is number 2” he tells him. “Huge improvement over Belias, I assure you. Idiot walked out with some old folio under his jacket, figuring we could negotiate after it was in our hands. To this day, I have no clue what happened to him, but that folio was on display in the window next morning and Fell’s creepy ass boyfriend was wearing Belias’s shades when we walked in.”
“Boyfriend?” Yamamoto asks, and Xanxus chuckles.
“Oh trust me Trash, you’ll know him when you see him.”
In the background Lussuria is fanning himself with a hand, while Squalo is glowering and inching closer to the screen. Tsuna ignores both of them.
“You didn’t try to find out what happened?” he questions, and Xanxus glares.
“Of course I fucking did!” he snaps. “Even had the lightning member’s we brought along tried to put on the squeeze, but both of them are mental steel traps. If anything, threats just amuse them. Two of Belias’s closest tried physical violence – the boyfriend has this classic car, beautiful piece of machinery; I’ll give him that – smashed out every window and made it clear we were coming back to finish the job. Car like that can’t be easy or cheap to fix.”
“It didn’t work?” Gokudera asks, and Xanxus shakes his head.
The trash left the hotel to get drinks, next thing I know the shark trash is getting a call from the hospital about them.”
The Varia boss jerks his head back, and Squalo freezes for a second, before slinking up to his boss, not even pretending to be subtle in his approach anymore.
“Were they still alive?” Tsuna asks, not sure if he wants to know. Xanxus merely glares at Squalo, who reacts as though it pains him to answer.
“Voi, they lived,” he says. “Looked like they’d been run over by that stupid car a couple hundred times, but they lived. Not that it mattered to us, both of them up and joined a monastery in New Zealand the second they were released!”
Yamamoto frowns. “New Zealand? When you abandon your old life to join a monastery, don’t you usually got to somewhere like Tibet or something?”
“Voi, according to them, they picked New Zealand because there aren’t any snakes there,” Squalo snarled. “Don’t ask me why, never had a problem with them before.”
“Yeah, and that car come morning?” Xanxus adds. “Perfect. Condition. After that, I cut my losses while I still had something to lose.”
“It was their own fault for making compensation jokes about the darling’s car!” Lussuria defends from the back, and Xanxus throws a wine glass in his direction.
The Varia side of the call inevitably descends into a brawl, and little advice is coming. All Tsuna’s managed to gather is, stay legal, screaming is pointless, and don’t threaten his associates or their possessions.
Tsuna silently vows that Gokudera must never enter that building unaccompanied.
Also, before the screen cut off completely, Lussuria popped onto the screen with one final titbit.
“Oh, one more thing. Don’t flirt with the boyfriend,” he says with Bel half in a headlock and the screen on it’s side. “Crowley-darling seems to think it’s funny, but it ticks Mr. Fell off no end. Not sure how he did it, but I got food poisoning whenever I ate out the rest of the time we were there. Ciao!”
The screen immediately goes black, and as a group, Tsuna, Gokudera and Ryohei all glance in Yamamoto’s direction. The teen immediately starts pouting.
“Why are you all looking at me?” he whines.
“Because out of everyone in this room who would think it would be funny, you’re the only one who’d actually try his luck, Baseball Idiot,” Gokudera snaps, and Yamamoto’s lip quirks, point taken. After so much time hanging around Squalo and Reborn, Yamamoto’s baseline for appropriate behaviour and etiquette will never recover – not that there was ever much to save, if Tsuna’s being entirely honest.
In the end, after looking at a spreadsheet of the opening hours Gokudera has on hand, they decide to hold off this evening, and try again in the 40 minute window that there should be just before lunch.
Who knows, maybe Mr. Fell will be more agreeable after he’s eaten?
---
One more part, and think it’ll be ready to migrate to AO3...
#Fanfiction#Fanfic#Katekyo Hitman Reborn Fanfiction#KHR Fanfic#Good Omens#Katekyo hitman reborn#Good Omens fanfiction#crossover#A Kingdom For a Book#KHR
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Winter Wolf: Part 12
Pairings: Bucky x Reader
Warnings: Swearing, fluff, angst
Word Count: 5,485
Box Filled: Gender Swap
A/N: This series was written for @marvelfluffbingo and it took on a life of its own. Enjoy!
Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It surprisingly took Steve a lot longer than you expected to return to Wakanda on ‘official royal business.’ You were laying on the couch in your living room, watching four and a half month old Anastasia laugh hysterically as she swatted at the colorful, handmade yarn dolls a woman at Bucky’s job had made for her that were hanging above her head. You smiled at her as you reached out and pushed one of the ones closest to you so that it would catch her eye and laughed with her as she kicked her legs and reached for it.
The knock on your front door startled you and you quickly sat up and grabbed the gun you had wedged between the couch cushion and the back of the couch. With quick movements, you got up and walked on silent feet to glance out the window since most people who came over to visit you and Anastasia called first. You peeked out the window and let out a sigh of relief as you turned the four locks on the door and turned off the house alarm system.
“Well I’ll be damned.” You laughed as you stepped back and let a very scruffy Steve into your two bedroom, two bath apartment. “That’s a good way to get shot in this house.” He nearly tripped over his own feet as you locked the house back up, turned the alarm back on, and put your gun on the table by the door.
“What is this?” He asked as he pointed to the little girl on the floor who was looking up at him in awe.
“It’s a baby.” You said with a shrug as you moved the arch away from Anastasia so you could pick her up. “And if we wanna get really technical, it’s a girl baby.” Steve’s face deadpanned as he met your eyes.
“Didn’t realize I became blind overnight but thanks. Where did the girl baby come from?”
“Anastasia…” You said as you balanced your daughter on your hip. “… came from Romania. Her birth mother was an old friend of mine named Daniela who had terminal cancer. Her father was a tourist and Daniela’s moms was a hardcore gypsy that surprisingly would absolutely not raise a baby born out of wed-lock no matter what her husband said. And she was a blatant racist so the mix race thing was not helping Anastasia’s case either. So, Buck and I took her. Well, we didn’t take her, I guess we officially adopted her. T’Challa’s lawyer guy helped us figure out the paper work so her official birth certificate says that we are her parents. So meet your… well technically you could meet your little sister…”
“Oh, my gosh, stop.” He laughed as he reached out his hands to hold her. “Anastasia, you said?” You nodded as you passed over your daughter.
“Anastasia Daniela Barnes. Her mom named her and we figured honoring her mom with the middle name was appropriate.”
“I like it.” He said as he sat down on the couch with her on his thighs. “Hi cutie.” Your daughter looked at him a little confused as she reached out to grab his beard. You laughed and gently intercepted.
“Bucky has to stay either clean shaven or he keeps his beard real short.” You said with a laugh. “We learned really fast that once she gets ahold of something she wants, she will not let go. We both keep our hair back in buns just to keep it out of her reach.”
“She’s beautiful.” He said with a smile as he held onto her sides so that his fingers were supporting her head even though she didn’t need it as much these days. “Now I’m curious. What is she?”
“Romanian, Puerto Rican, Guatemalan, African-American, and a splash of Scottish, Italian, and Greek. I had Shuri run her ancestry DNA when we did a full check up on her when we got her. She was born the day before Bucky and I got married and we got her when she was three days old.”
“God, she’s so cute. I can’t believe you two are parents.” You smile proudly and snagged one of the many toys off the floor.
“Me neither. It’s been a wild ride.”
“I bet.” He laughed as he watched you bop your daughter on the nose with a pink, stuffed rhino rattle to grab her attention. She laughed and reached for it as Steve looked around the living room. “Where’s Bucky?”
“At work.” You said as you handed your little girl her toy. “He got a really good job in IT at the transportation hub. He loves it. He actually should be home in an hour or so if you wanna stick around. I should probably start dinner anyways if you wanna entertain your niece.”
“I think I can handle that, what do you think?” He asked Anastasia, who simply tried to eat her rattle in response.
“Just keep your beard away from her grabby little hands.” You said with a laugh as you got up and headed to the kitchen. “She’s a sneaky little monster sometimes.”
“You can’t be a little monster.” He growled playfully as he picked her up off his thighs and slid down to the floor with her to play. “You’re too cute, right? Yes, you are.” You smiled to yourself as Steve continued to baby talk to your daughter while you got dinner ready for your family and your guest.
With Steve distracting your daughter, you got the homemade Italian dressing marinated chicken, the fettuccini you made from scratch that morning, and the Alfredo you found a recipe for on a website called Pinterest (which was, in your opinion, the greatest thing in the entire world) cooked in no time. You were just getting everything plated when the automatic smart locks on your doors unlocked and the alarm signaled it was temporarily disengaged with a beep. You looked up at the door from the kitchen as Bucky stepped in the door with a sigh.
“Hi baby.” You said with a smile. “We have a visitor.” Bucky looked over at you as he turned the last lock before turning the other way.
“Well I’ll be damned. If it isn’t Captain America. And my little angel.” He cooed as he went over to say hi to his friend and pick up his giggly little girl. “Oh, I missed you!”
“Never thought I’d see the day.” Steve said as he got up off the floor with a laugh. “Playboy Bucky Barnes has a kid.”
“I got bamboozled by the cute.” He laughed as he kissed Anastasia’s forehead. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m here on ‘official business’.” Steve said sarcastically with air quotes as Bucky came over to give you a kiss hello. “We’re trying to fine tune the Sokovia Accords and I figured I’d stop in to see how the newlyweds were doing while I was here.” He laughed as Bucky turned his head away from Anastasia before she could grab his bun.
“Didn’t expect the baby, did you?” Bucky laughed as he grabbed one of the plates to help you out before starting a bottle for his daughter.
“Not one bit.” Steve laughed as you passed him his plate and grabbed silverware for everyone. “But then again you two have been full of surprises in the last year.”
“We gotta keep life interesting, Stevie. I’ve been around long enough to know that.”
“Million years really is a long time.” Bucky teased as the three of you sat down at the table to eat.
“Shut up!” You laughed as he laid Anastasia across his arm and his lap and gave her her bottle before you went back to trying her on soft solid food again. He propped it on his chest and used his elbow to keep it upright so that he could still eat and make up for the time he spent away from home that day.
“I’d still love you even if you were as old as the dinosaurs.” He cooed with a smile as you cut his chicken just to make it easier for him to multitask.
“Guys, you’re gunna make me sick before I can even enjoy this meal.” Steve joked as he twirled some pasta around his fork.
“You’ll be fine.” Bucky said around a mouthful of fettuccini.
“So what’s going on in New York?” You asked with a glance over at your friend. “Do you have any juicy gossip for us?”
“Well.” Steve said as he chewed. “Not really. Teams good. We had a mission a couple weeks ago that was a pointless waste of time. Some idiot tried to release anthrax bombs in Central Park and apparently that now requires the Avengers to step in.” He rolled his eyes and sighed with a shake of his head. “Hence the reason I’m here talking to T’Challa. I’m trying to get some semblance of balance to these Accords which is proving to be difficult as expected.”
“How’s Tony?” Bucky inquired with a glance over at you.
“Tony’s… well, Tony. He and Pepper got engaged.”
“‘bout time.” You mumbled as you twirled your fork on your plate. “Is he… has he said anything about me?” You looked up at Steve through your lashes as he shook his head subtly.
“Nothing good nor bad. No one wants to bring either of you up.” You nodded as took a bite of your food to avoid inquiring about the next person but Steve answered the unspoken question anyways. “Natasha’s back. She just showed up about two months ago without a word of explanation of where she had been…”
“Good for her.” Bucky said curtly; still harboring a grudge for your ex.
“How’s Wanda?” You ask to change the sensitive subject. Steve nodded and swallowed his bite.
“She’s good. I think Vision is talking about proposing but I’m not entirely sure.”
“Awe, good.” You said with a genuine smile. “Those two are so good for each other.”
“Yea, yea they are.” Steve agreed with a nod. He could feel the slight layer of tension building in the room and quickly changed the subject to prevent an argument over Natasha. “So tell me more about my niece.”
——
“She’s asleep.” Bucky sighed as he closed the nursery door quietly behind him and trudged toward the couch you had flopped down on after saying goodbye to Steve. With a groan, he laid down on the couch practically on top of you and wrapped his arms around your waist. “Finally.”
“I think she’s teething.” You said as you ran your metal fingers through his hair and pulled out the hair tie. “That’s what the book suggested. She was fussy for a couple days but she wouldn’t let me near her mouth to check.” He nodded against your stomach and buried his face in your shirt.
“Did you put those squishy things in the freezer?”
“Yes, James. I can mother, thank you.” You teased as you rolled your head on the arm of the couch to look at him.
“You sure? I still question if I can father, properly.” You giggled with him and laced your fingers together on his back.
“I think we’re doing just fine.” He said with a smile as he looked up at you. “We’re in this together, remember?” You nodded your head as he adjusted his head on your stomach with a content sigh. You let your eyes fall closed, just content on existing in that peaceful moment with your husband. You could feel his fingers making tiny, tight patterns on your back under your loose fitting shirt and moving at a glacial pace up your spine. There was no rush and no urgency, there was just love.
A knock on your front door caused both of you to stiffen and sigh at your ruined moment. Bucky pushed himself up off your chest and grabbed the gun from the couch cushions. You got up as well and purposely moved yourself between the front door and the nursery. With a glance over his shoulder at you, he turned off the alarm and unlocked the doors.
His whole body tensed as he quickly shove his foot against the back of the door and pointed his gun at whoever was on the other side. You instantly backed up to the nursery door and yanked off your shirt so that you would have better movement when you needed it. You tried to make your five foot six, thankfully muscular body as big as you could in the doorway and wished that you had put a weapon next to the door frame like you had wanted to.
“The fuck are you doing here?” Bucky demanded with more animosity and venom in his voice then you had ever heard before. Which meant one of two things; both of which you were not ready to face.
“Can I talk to her?” Natasha asked softly with tears obvious in her tone.
“Shut the door.” You said from your place.
“You need to leave, now.” Bucky growled.
“Please, I just need to see her!”
“You don’t need to do shit!” Bucky snapped back. “Leave, Natasha.”
“Please.” She begged as Anastasia started to fuss behind you. “Please, I just need to apologize.”
“You have no place to say sorry to me.” You snapped as you stormed away from the nursery door. You put your hand on Bucky shoulder and moved him back a step to look at the partially unrecognizable blonde in front of you. “You’re not welcome here.”
“My star…” She tried but you grabbed your gun from Bucky and cocked it harshly.
“No!” You shouted, which effectively woke your daughter up. “You stood there, Natasha. You just stood there when I needed you the most. You stood there and shook your head. You didn’t even try to defend the woman you supposedly loved as I was thrown from my home. I lost everything! My family, my security, my sanity. All of it was gone and Bucky was the only person that stood up to protect me. Steve did what he could but that wasn’t his responsibility; it was yours. And you- did- nothing!”
“(Y/N)…” She tried as tears fell from her eyes. You heard Bucky growl behind you as he turned to go to the nursery for Anastasia and you shook your head at your ex.
“No, Nat. I don’t want to hear it. Because even though I left, you still did nothing. Sure, you tried to hunt me down but, as you quickly realized, I won’t be found if I don’t wanna be. So that was a waste of time. Let me ask you this. Have you even bother to talk to Tony about me once? Did you try even one time to get him to see that I am not that monster anymore? Or did you just play victim because you choose to literally turn your back on your girlfriend and she was taken from your life like you promised would never happen? I don’t even need an answer from you because I already know it. You played the victim. I expected more from you Natalia. So much more. Especially after you fought so hard for Clint, who you have said you didn’t love as much as me, to get him back into your arms when Loki had him try to murder you.”
“Baby…”
“Go to hell, Natasha. I want nothing to do with you. Stay away from me, stay away from my family, stay the fuck away from Wakanda. Go do you, you heartless shrew because you sure as fuck aren’t doing me ever again.” Without another word, you slammed the front door closed and turned the locks as fast as your fingers would go. Once the alarm was reset, you set your gun down and followed your daughters screaming to the back bedroom.
“She gone?” Bucky snapped as he bounced Anastasia in his arms.
“She’s gone.” You said with a nod as you locked the secondary door in your room and sent out a silent thanks for Shuri making your house impenetrable once the alarm was set. “Come here, angel.” You carefully took Anastasia from Bucky and walked over to the bed with her while Bucky started to pace.
“How’d she even find us?” He asked angrily as he yanked off his work shirt and chucked it across the room toward the laundry hamper. “Who the fuck does she think she is?”
“She’s gone, Bucky.” You said softly as you rubbed your daughter’s back and laid her out on your sports bra covered chest.
“She has no right.” He snapped as he continued to get undressed. “No right to just show up here like that.” You nodded in agreement as you tried to check Anastasia’s mouth again since she was awake. “Who does she think she is?”
“I don’t know, baby.” You said evenly as you forced yourself to keep your anger at bay and you absolutely felt one of her teeth near the surface of Anastasia’s bottom gums. “She’s teething.” Bucky glanced over at you and did a double take as your daughter grabbed your hand almost to hold the soothing metal in place. He climbed on the bed slowly as Anastasia’s crying turned into hiccups.
“Oh, baby girl.” He said sadly as he leaned against the headboard so that he was right in front of her. “You’re OK, sweetheart.” She hiccuped again as he reached up to brush his hand over the back of her head.
“We’re in for a world of fun.” You said softly as she started to chew on your finger. He nodded as her eyes started to slowly drift closed again.
“We’ll figure it out.” He said as he helped get the pair of you under the blankets. “We always do.” You nodded in agreement as he kissed Anastasia’s forehead and laid back against his pillow.
“Think she’ll tell Tony we’re here?” You asked as he grabbed the padded co-sleeper from under the bed.
“Probably.” He said as he laid the sleeper down between you knowing neither of you would sleep comfortably that night if she wasn’t in the room with you. “We’re safe here, though. Tony can’t get into Wakanda without T’Challa knowing about it anyways…”
“Nat did.” You said as you brushed your fingertips down Anastasia’s back so she would fall back to sleep.
“Yea, well now we’re prepared.” He said a little harshly.
“OK.” You said as you looked over at him. “OK…”
“Sorry, baby.” He said as he ran his fingers through his hair with a sigh. “She just… she makes me so mad.”
“I know, baby.” You agreed as you carefully pulled your hand back and laid your daughter down in her sleeper. “But we’re better than her now, right? We’re parents now. We can’t stoop down to her level.”
“Yea.” He said with small smile as he laid down next to the other little lady that stole his heart. “Yea, you’re right.”
“I’m always right, James.” You giggled as you got up to wash your face and get ready for bed. “That’s why you married me.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After the night Natasha showed up, you started to live in fear. Every time you stepped outside with Anastasia, you carried an unnecessary amounts of weapons on your person and constantly kept your head on a swivel. After two weeks of jumping at every little thing, the Wolf came back and began to taunt the safety of you and more specifically, your baby girl. And at that point, you locked yourself and Anastasia in your apartment and had your weekly groceries delivered by a teenage boy that lived in your building.
Bucky wanted to protest your seclusion but he was equally as scared for the two loves of his life. He convinced you once about a month after Nat showed up to leave the house just to head up to a restaurant on the corner. He barely made it long enough to order the food to go and rush you back home with a mild case of whiplash. He knew you were at least safe in your home, so after that failed attempt to be social, he looked the other way about you staying home all the time.
Anastasia was growing like a weed. One day she was needing help to sit up on your lap or on the floor and the next thing you knew, she was seven months old, crawling across the wood floors as fast as her chubby arms and legs could carry her, and practicing her standing as long as you held on to her sides. You were beyond ecstatic that her first word was ‘mama’, which Bucky wasn’t a huge fan of, but she didn’t disappoint for long because ‘dada’ came about a week later followed by ‘ba.’ And thus began the part of her life where she would follow you around after you while you cleaned, babbling ‘mama dada’ for hours over the sounds of her knees and palms clomping on the floors.
“She does this all day?” Bucky asked as he helped put away the lunch leftovers on one of his Tuesdays off. You smirked and nodded as you wiped down your kitchen counters while Anastasia sat right next to your legs on the floor repeating your name with the occasional ‘dada’ mixed in as she chewed on a frozen strawberry in a mesh pacifier.
“Every day. We’re getting a lot better at separating our names though.” He laughed as he walked over and looked down at her with his hands on his hips.
“What are you doing?” He said playfully as she looked up at him with a smile.
“Ma dada… da mama!” She said as she reached for him with one arm, not willing to pull the fruit pacifier from her mouth.
“That’s progress.” You laughed as Bucky picked her up and tossed her in the air a couple inches.
“I still can’t believe she’s ours.” He said as walked over and sat down on the couch with her. “I also can’t believe how fast she’s grown.”
“I know.” You sighed with a nod as you hung your rag over the middle of the sinks. “I just want it to stop already. Make her stay cute forever.”
“Yea, because both of us wanna change diapers for the rest of eternity.” He laughed as you flopped down on the couch for a break before you went back to doing laundry. You rested your elbow on the armrest and propped your head on your fist as you watched your daughter ‘walk’ up Bucky’s thighs and stomach while she continued to chew on her strawberry.
“We need to leave Wakanda.” You said softly. Your husband slowly nodded his head in agreement.
“I’ve been thinking the same thing.” Tears welled in your eyes as the pair of you just watched your daughter with more love than either of you knew was possible. She walked her way up his chest so that her little feet were on his face and squealed in joy when he playfully pretended to eat her toes.
“Where should we go?” You whispered, not trusting your voice any louder.
“We can stay in Africa for a while.” He suggested with a glance over at you as he held his daughter over his thighs again. “Head south until we hit the end of the continent then try to catch a ride over to Asia. Head toward Australia. We’ll just keep moving.” You nodded your head and looked over at him as a few tears fell from your eyes. “We’re gunna be OK, baby girl. We know how to survive on the run. And we’ll just be more hyper-vigilant with Anastasia.”
“OK.” You whispered as you pushed across the couch to rest your head on his shoulder. “I’ll call up to Okoye and we’ll leave tonight?” He nodded his head as he turned to kiss the top of your head.
“We’ll pack as light as we can with her when she goes down for a nap. Get out after dark.” You nodded your head and sighed as you got up off the couch.
“I’ll get the laundry finished and make that call.” You heard him mumble ‘alright’ as he took the empty pacifier from Anastasia before she could throw it.
“Come on, pumpkin. Nap time.”
——
“Our clothes, her clothes, bottles, formula, baby food…” You said to yourself as you went through the two, overflowing backpack duffle bags on your bed. “��� toys, bathroom bags, pacifiers, blankets.”
“We can strap this to your backpack.” Bucky said as he tossed the padded sleeper on the bed and grabbed the baby carrier from under the bed as well. “The play pen is a little too big to carry with us.”
“True.” You said as you grabbed the ball of twine and the sleeper off the bed. “Did you empty out every drawer on the changing table into the diaper bag?”
“And the extra stuff in the closet.” He said with a nod. “You got the new load of groceries in there?” You nodded your head as you checked the weight of both backpacks to make sure Bucky’s wasn’t too heavy.
“I think we should bring the stroller.” You said as you set his backpack aside, deeming it full enough. “I think we’ll regret it more if we don’t.”
“It’d make carrying the car seat easier. We could fill the bottom up with more stuff…”
“It would make carrying bottles of water easier.” You agreed. You grabbed the Ziplock bag of baby medicines, sunscreen, and other necessities for Anastasia and threw them in the last bit of space in your bag. “These are both done.” He nodded his head, acknowledging that he heard what you said as he pulled the old SIM cards from your cell phones and grabbed new ones and a pair of burner phones from your bedside table drawer. He pulled weapon after weapon from the drawer as you put everything from the room out in the hall.
“You gunna carry her first?” He asked as you came back in and started to load your old Winter Wolf cargo pants with guns and knives.
“Yea, I got her.” You said as you checked the gun you would keep on your hip to make sure it was fully loaded and the safety was on. You put it in your holder and made sure that it was far enough back that there was no way your daughter could reach it before grabbing the carrier off the bed. You followed Bucky out to the living room to load up anything else you could fit in the stroller; a case of water, some laundry soap you otherwise would have had to leave behind, and a few more of her favorite toys, and took one final look around your apartment for anything else you could possibly need.
“We have all the cash?” You asked as you headed toward the nursery to grab your daughter to leave.
“Yea, it’s all in the diaper bag.” He said as he put his backpack and the diaper bag on and grabbed the carseat to put in the front of the stroller. You nodded, despite the fact that he couldn’t see you as you carefully picked your sleeping daughter up from her crib and put her in the baby carrier. You made sure to grab her bedtime blanket and her favorite stuffed bunny rabbit before heading out of the room to get your own backpack.
“You got everything?” He asked softly as he helped you put the backpack on so you didn’t jostle Anastasia too much.
“Anything we forgot, we can replace.” You responded as you tucked the blanket and bunny into the carseat. “Oh, grab the fold up booster seat.” You said as you pointed to the chair in the corner by the dinner table. You pushed the stroller to the door as he stuck the seat across the top and added the two bottles of water for you to the cup holders.
“Alright.” Bucky said as he looked back around your apartment while you shut off the alarm and unlocked the door. “Bye first house.” You couldn’t bring yourself to turn around and look back at it as you pulled open the door.
“Let’s just go, baby.” You forced yourself not to tear up as you headed down the hall to the elevator.
“It’s alright, (Y/N).” Your husband said as he rubbed your shoulder with a small smile on his face. “We’re gunna be just fine. We can handle this.” You took a deep breath as the elevator opened on the ground floor and nodded.
“Yep. We’re…”
“Running away with a baby?” A voice asked from the shadows that made the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. You whipped your gun out at lighting speed and turned around as Tony stepped out of the shadows. “Do you really think that’s the best parenting choice there.”
“Back up.” Bucky growled as he moved between you and Tony with his gun pointed at the man as well. “Baby, go.”
“No, no.” Tony said as he took a step closer with his hands raised. He instantly took two steps back as both you and Bucky cocked your guns and flipped off the safeties. “Look, I know you’re both a little jaded here…”
“A little?” You asked as your eyes darted around the street; catching Steve and Wanda hiding in the shadows in the alley across from you, Vision a block behind you behind a car, Clint on the roof across from you… and Natasha peeking out from the alley behind Tony.
“Wonder why…” Bucky growled.
“Yea, you have the right to be mad. I was an asshole. Plain and simple. But I was wrong. And I’m man enough to admit that. So if you wanna hide out, go ahead. You wanna raise your kid in fear here in Wakanda… yea, I know everything.” Tony said as you shared a side eyed glance with Bucky. “You wanna stay here, go ahead. T’Challa said that was fine by him. You wanna come back to the towers and feel safe, you can do that, too.” You forced yourself to keep your face unreadable as you searched Tony’s eyes.
“I’ll stay away.” Natasha said softly. “I won’t come near any of you. Just please. Please come home where you belong.”
“She’d be safe.” Bucky whispered in Xhosa without taking his eyes off Tony or Natasha as you watched the other Avengers. “Both of you.”
“Is it worth dealing with the other half of the problem?” You asked with a side look over at him.
“We’d be safe.” He repeated. “And we wouldn’t have to keep running.” You sighed, knowing that he was right and that dealing with Natasha was worth guaranteeing that the voices didn’t come back and that Anastasia would be safe forever.
“Come on, guys.” Steve called out as he took a few steps forward. “Do it for my niece.” You looked over at Bucky, who you knew wanted to go home and not have to work every day even if he wouldn’t admit it, and sighed.
“Fine.” You breathed as you flipped on the safety and ejected the bullet in the chamber of your gun. You could hear the subtle sigh of relief from your husband as he put his gun up while the other members of the team all stood down.
“You stay away from them.” Bucky growled as he pointed at Natasha and put the diaper bag on the stroller. She nodded and took a few steps back as Steve came over to say hi to Anastasia.
“I’m guessing you still have stuff upstairs?” He asked as he brushed his fingers over the top of her head.
“We packed as light as possible so yea.” You said with a nod.
“Alright then. Steve, get them to the jet. We’ll get the rest…”
“I’ll go up with you.” Bucky said as he pulled off his backpack and passed it to Steve. “We can just pile everything that’s left in the crib.”
“Leave the furniture and the dishes behind and put a note on the woman across the hall’s door that she can help herself to whatever is left over as a thanks for her son getting our groceries.” You told him as Steve took off your backpack for you. He nodded his head and headed back toward your apartment building as Steve put his hand on your back.
“Let’s go home, (Y/N).” He said with a smile as he lead you behind Natasha to the quinjet that was parked on the palace jet pad.
“I just hope it’s not the worst decision we’ve ever made.” You muttered as you stared daggers into Natasha’s back.
Part 13
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An Introduction to Jean Pigozzi
“When I started, everyone thought that I was an idiot. But now many museums - like Pompidou, Tate, Metropolitan in New York, Los Angeles County Museum - they all want to do shows from my collection,” explains French-born Italian collector Jean Pigozzi in 2016, reacting to the rise in popularity and interest in Contemporary African art. At sixty-four years old, Pigozzi has amassed over 10,000 works of Contemporary African art with a particular focus on artists who live and work in sub-Saharan Africa. Pigozzi’s collection is different from other collections of Contemporary African art (such as the Zeitz collection) which include works by artists who may not be currently living and working in Africa and which feature artists from all different parts of the continent. What is not different, however, is Pigozzi’s desire to help African artists to share their stories with the world. Although his collection does not have a permanent museum or location where it can be shown altogether, the works are frequently on loan to prestigious museums internationally and featured in exhibitions worldwide.
Pigozzi was an artist before he ever became an art collector; he discovered photography at a young age as a way to capture the world around him and express himself without extensive writing, which he struggled with due to dyslexia. Growing up in what he calls a “typical European bourgeois” household, the young aficionado regularly attended art museums with his mother, and his parents even had a modest collection of Impressionist works. It was not until the 1970s, when he attended Harvard University in the United States, however, that Pigozzi exposed himself to art that was more avant-garde. Pigozzi recalls spending weekends in New York visiting MoMA, the Whitney, and galleries downtown. Pigozzi found the art around him fascinating: “It was all so exciting,” he said. “This was the time of Conceptual Art and Minimalism; Carl Andre and Sol LeWitt.” His first purchase was a small Sol LeWitt drawing. At age twenty one, Pigozzi inherited his father’s fortune and became wealthy enough to enjoy a life of leisure dedicated to following his passions - including his burgeoning interest in art - wherever they led him.
In 1989, Pigozzi discovered Contemporary African art when he attended the well-known, yet controversial, exhibition Magiciens de la terre at the Centre Georges Pompidou in Paris. The exhibition, which is seen as one of the major turning points for the art world’s globalization, featured works by more than 100 artists from 50 countries, half of which were so-called “non-Western.” Upon seeing the show, Pigozzi was struck by the creativity of the African artists whose works were featured. Pigozzi was not able to purchase the works in the show, which included those by now relatively more well-known Contemporary African artists Bodys Isek Kingelez and Ch��ri Samba, because they were owned by a French television station. However, Pigozzi was introduced to André Magnin, who helped curate the show, and he became Pigozzi’s advisor as he began to collect Contemporary African art. Most of the works that the collector has acquired were purchased directly from the artists themselves, and many of them were discovered by Magnin through his journeys into Africa scouting for artistic talent.
While Pigozzi himself has never been to Africa, he remains committed to meeting and talking with the artists whose work he collects, finding collectors who do not do so to be more vulnerable to the tall tales sometimes told by art world professionals when trying to make a sale. Among the 71 artists listed on Pigozzi’s collection website, only some of them have been featured in gallery or museum shows - lending itself well to the interpretation that Pigozzi enjoys discovering new artists. Pigozzi has been credited for essentially launching the careers of artists in his collection who do have more art world visibility. For instance, journalist Tess Thackara argues: “Without Pigozzi’s patronage, it’s easy to imagine that [Kingelez] would never have made it onto the MoMA’s walls; the high-profile collector has undeniably brought visibility to Kingelez’s work and played a crucial role in its preservation.”
When he talks about his motives for collecting the art that he does, Pigozzi never talks about financial viability, stability or even potential to produce any sort of profit. In fact, Pigozzi believes that anyone viewing his collection through a financial lens would see it as a “mistake,” with his most valuable paintings being worth $100,000 at maximum, according to the collector - a small amount of money compared to the millions of dollars that Warhol’s and Basquiat’s achieve at auction. But, Pigozzi does not view his works through a financial lens, explaining that while his choice of category may not make sense of a collector interested in making a long-term profit off his works, it makes sense for Pigozzi because he feels he occupies an interesting and unique niche within the art world.
Artworks from The Contemporary African Art Collection (CAAC), which is what Pigozzi calls his collection, have been featured in what one might argue to be every important exhibition of Contemporary African Art in major art institutions in 2018, including Romuald Hazoumè at Gagosian, Park & 75, New York; Platform: Barthélémy Toguo: The Beauty of Our Voice at the Parrish Art Museum, Water Mill, New York; and Bodys Isek Kingelez: City of Dreams at the Museum of Modern Art, New York. All of those exhibitions have gotten major press coverage, including mentions or full articles in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, TIME, and Forbes.
In terms of his plans for the future, Pigozzi has expressed a desire to contain his collection within one place and make it available to the public without having to be dispersed among various museums. “It would be sad if 30 years of work disappeared, and the 10,000-strong collection was dispersed,” Pigozzi laments. Yet, Pigozzi realizes that he may not have the resources to put all of his art in one place right now - at least not in a place that he himself funds. “If I [were] Bill Gates,” he says, “I would build a museum. But I’m not Bill Gates. So, I’m open to suggestions,” Pigozzi discloses in an interview with an implied sense of humor. In the meantime, viewing sublime works from Pigozzi’s collection, like the imaginative Bodys Isek Kingelez’s utopian city sculptures at MoMA, is not a bad option for those of us interested in unveiling the stories that Pigozzi readily makes available to the art-viewing public.
Jean Pigozzi and Chéri Samba, Paris, 2002. Source: Les Initiés: un choix d’oeuvres (1989-2009) dans la collection d’art contemporain africain de Jean Pigozzi, Fondation Louis Vuitton, 2017.
Photo at top: Jean Pigozzi. Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Jy-ggtttZQ.
Bibliography:
Artforum. “Jean Pigozzi to Build Foundation for Contemporary African Art.” April 26, 2017. Accessed November 4, 2018. https://www.artforum.com/news/jean-pigozzi-to-build-foundation-for-contemporary-african-art-68078.
Baumgardner, Julie. “Inside the World’s Largest Collection of Contemporary African Art.” Artsy. October 12, 2015. Accessed November 4, 2018. https://www.artsy.net/article/artsy-editorial-inside-the-world-of-jean-pigozzi-the-tech.
Buffenstein, Alyssa. “Investor and Celeb Photographer Jean Pigozzi Is Searching for a Home for His African Art Collection.” artnet News. April 27, 2017. Accessed November 4, 2018. https://news.artnet.com/art-world/jean-pigozzi-foundation-contemporary-african-art-938897.
Caacart.com. “Artists.” Accessed November 4, 2018. http://caacart.com/caacart-artists.php. Caacart.com. “Exhibitions.” Accessed November 4, 2018. http://caacart.com/caacart-exhibitions.php.
Caacart.com. “Home.” Accessed November 4, 2018. http://caacart.com/.
Christie’s. “The Insider’s guide to Contemporary African art.” February 15, 2018. https://www.christies.com/features/The-insider-guide-to-Contemporary-African-art-8887-1.aspx.
Delson, Susan. “In the Hamptons, This Artist Builds the Boat And Serves the Coffee.” The Wall Street Journal. July 26, 2018. Accessed November 4, 2018. https://www.wsj.com/articles/in-the-hamptons-this-artist-builds-the-boat-and-serves-the-coffee-1532617982.
Edwards, Natasha. “Jean Pigozzi’s Massive Collection of African Art.” Surface. November 30, 2015. Accessed November 4, 2018. https://www.surfacemag.com/articles/20151130jean-pigozzis-massive-collection-of-african-art/.
Friedel, Julia. “Magiciens de la Terre.” Contemporary And. August 12, 2016. Accessed November 4, 2018. https://www.contemporaryand.com/magazines/magiciens-de-la-terre/.
Harris, Gareth. “Venture capitalist Jean Pigozzi plans foundation to house contemporary African art collection.” The Art Newspaper. April 26, 2017. Accessed November 4, 2018. https://www.theartnewspaper.com/news/venture-capitalist-jean-pigozzi-plans-foundation-to-house-huge-contemporary-african-art-collection
Meistere, Una. “Jean Pigozzi.” Independent Collectors. July 19, 2016. Accessed November 4, 2018. https://independent-collectors.com/collectors/jean-pigozzi-arterritory/.
Pigozzi, Jean. “Jean Pigozzi: The Collecting Life.” Caacart.com. June 2005. Accessed November 4, 2018. http://caacart.com/about_jp_en.php.
Press, Clayton. “Romauld Hazoumé, Gagosian, Park & 75, New York.” Forbes. September 23, 2018. Accessed November 4, 2018. https://www.forbes.com/sites/claytonpress/2018/09/23/romuald-hazoume-gagosian-park-75th-new-york/#5227dbdf3b58.
Schwendener, Martha, Will Heinrich, and Jillian Steinhauer. “What to See in New York Art Galleries This Week.” The New York Times. September 13, 2018. Accessed November 4, 2018. https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/13/arts/design/what-to-see-in-new-york-art-galleries-this-week.html.
Shapiro, Eben. “At MoMA, a Genius Finally Gets His Due.” Time. June 28, 2018. Accessed November 4, 2018. http://time.com/5324720/body-isek-kingelez-moma/.
Smith, Roberta. “Fantastical Cityscapes of Cardboard and Glue at MoMA.” The New York Times. May 31, 2018. Accessed November 4, 2018. https://www.nytimes.com/2018/05/31/arts/design/bodys-isek-kingelez-review-moma.html.
Thackara, Tess. “Bodys Isek Kingelez, Maker of Utopian Cities, Finally Gets the Retrospective He Deserves.” Artsy. May 24, 2018. Accessed November 4, 2018. https://www.artsy.net/article/artsy-editorial-finally-notice-bodys-isek-kingelezs-utopian-vision.
#jean pigozzi#pigozzi#jeanpigozzi#contemporary african art#contemporary art#african art#african contemporary art#blog#art blog#art blogger#contemporary art blog#art collectors#art collector#collectors#art collector profile#art collecting#cheri samba
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Facts Behind The Top Foods Associated To Fight Cancer Risk .
The innumerable books and news articles about malignant growth battling nourishments may lead you to figure you can avert this feared ailment essentially by eating better. Too bad, it isn't so straight forward. Whenever you see a feature expressing "Fix disease normally," you should run; Running, truth be told, will be more useful to your well-being than whatever that news article is pushing. There are sustenances related with a lower danger of getting a disease. While that is sure news, recall this depends simply on what goes on in Petri dishes and in mice and in human the study of disease transmission contemplates uncovering, to a great extent all things considered, that individuals who ate A, B and C for "x" years had a y-percent decrease in a malignancy chance contrasted and a bundle of bums who did nothing to remain sound. Along these lines, there are no assurances. Think about that among the main defenders of the macrobiotic eating routine — the grain-and vegetable-based eating regimen indicated to fix disease — Aveline Kushi and her little girl Lilly kicked the bucket of malignant growth, Michio Kushi had a tumor expelled from his digestive tract, and author George Ohsawa passed on at the moderately youthful age of 73, likely of a heart assault. Numerous reasons for malignancy are natural, to a great extent from tobacco, inordinate sun introduction, and working environment risks, for example, compound solvents and exhaust. Shirking is the best anticipation system here. Besides that, on the off chance that you need the chances on your side, the sustenances in this rundown do appear to convey some disease insurance properties. Wine
Wine — and, specifically, red wine with its high convergence of the synthetic resveratrol from the grape skin — is against malignant growth and expert heart, in any event with some restraint. Liquor can be harmful and is related to liver, bosom and stomach malignancies. Someplace there is parity, however, with resveratrol contributing in some obscure manner to stifle metabolites related with malignant growth development. An ever-increasing number of analysts have turned out to be agreeable lately in suggesting a glass of wine multi-day to avoid disease and advance a more beneficial circulatory framework. In the event that the idea of wine appears to be too radical to even consider including on a rundown of against disease nourishments, consider having that wine with an Italian pasta supper with tomato sauce (high in lycopene, to some degree related with malignant growth counteractive action), sardines and a dull verdant green serving of mixed greens (high on the counter malignant growth sustenance list).
Cruciferous Vegetables Cruciferous vegetables are those in the mustard or cabbage family, and the rundown is comprehensive. Sadly, generally, U.S. advertises just convey a couple: cabbage, broccoli, kale, and collards. Venture into a decent Asian market for a whole passageway of contributions. These vegetables, in shifting degrees, are wealthy in hostile to malignant growth properties, for example, diindolylmethane, sulforaphane, and the component selenium. The punch accompanies the crunch: Chewing, more so than consequent absorption, discharges these synthetic compounds. In this way, it is imperative not to overcook these greens. Indeed, even intense collards, assuming new, can be cleaved dainty and seared shortly, instead of the conventional southern strategies for heating up the hellfire out of these.
Green Tea Begin drinking up to a half-gallon of green tea daily, cold or hot, caffeine be condemned. (Tea just has 33% of the caffeine found in most espresso.) Green tea has epigallocatechin gallate (EGCG) and catechins, as extreme on malignancy cells as they are on the tongue to articulate. EGCG hinders malignant growth development, and stomach and lung disease rates in Japan would almost certainly be much higher considering all the disease advancing salty nourishment and tobacco there. Note that in the United States it is very hard to get genuine green tea. What you are purchasing is green tea drink (sugar, water, and somebody murmuring the words "green tea" over the jug) or green tea blend (a mix of teas to facilitate that normal sharpness of green tea). The most intense green tea originates from Japan; and Asian grocery stores convey numerous assortments, with the best brands being in boxes with letters you can't peruse. Note likewise that dark teas lose solid catechins in the maturation procedure, and decaffeinated teas lose catechins in the washing procedure.
Vitamin D Nutrient D isn't nourishment essentially; it is a proto-hormone that appears to meddle with disease development. Numerous investigations on people have indicated nutrient D is instrumental in decreasing the danger of colon and bosom malignant growth and improving the survival rates of lung disease. The exact system isn't known, yet most analysts as of late have turned out to be progressively persuaded that few of us get enough nutrient D through daylight or diet. There are not many vegan sources other than eggs and UV-lighted mushrooms. Your most logical option originates from the conduits: catfish, salmon, sardines, or mackerel.
Folate Folate, and the related folic corrosive or nutrient B9 is a piece of the nutrient B-complex family, which all in all has malignancy preventive properties. The malignant growth folate relationship is unpredictable. Individuals with weight control plans low in folate appear to have higher rates of malignant growth. Diets high in folate don't really counteract malignancy, yet they don't appear to hurt. The absence of folate may empower disease to get the high ground, enabling changes to happen unchecked. Verdant green vegetables, asparagus, beans, peas, and lentils are on the whole commonly high in folate.
Dark Green Vegetables This class of vegetables covers the cruciferous family and incorporates chard, spinach, and beets (by the excellence of the leaves, yet the red root is sound, as well). These vegetables contain, among different treats, beta-carotene, lutein, and zeaxanthin — every one of which is incredible cell reinforcements that can square early malignant growth improvement. They are additionally high in folate. Best yet, Swiss chard specifically is incredibly simple to develop in pots. The plant continues giving: You can cut off leaves for a considerable length of time upon months as new ones keep shooting up. Fresher greens are increasingly delicate and more delicious.
Ginger and Turmeric Ginger and turmeric are about as close as you can get to great tasting prescription. Ginger has amazing calming properties and can moderate disease development. Turmeric, the zest that shapes the base of most curries, is from a root in the ginger family. The dynamic fixing is curcumin, which can execute malignancy cells rapidly, yet in a test tube. Ginger and turmeric improve the kind of most any dinner and accompany an extensive rundown of fortifying advantages. Truly, you can get both ginger and turmeric/curcumin in a pill structure. Yet, pill supplements are normally idiotic American thoughts. Add these to your flavor rack, not prescription bureau.
Beans and Lentils Include the previously mentioned ginger or turmeric or both, and you're in for some great, smart dieting. Beans and lentils contain various phytochemicals, extremely bulky to peruse in one sitting, that have been appeared in the research facility to ease back or counteract harm to the DNA, the premise of malignancy. The additional advantage accompanies the fiber, related to a lower danger of stomach related diseases, for example, colon malignancy. The precarious part, for some, Americans, is figuring out how to cook these appropriately. Make companions with somebody from India who can cook, and you'll be astounded how you can overcome quite a bit of your week without hamburger or pork.
Chocolate Chocolate has persevered through incalculable investigations by researchers resolved to demonstrate this can't in any way, shape or form be sound. Be that as it may, it is sound, given the cocoa-to-treat proportion stays high. Reach for a dull chocolate bar with no less than 70-percent cocoa (frequently spelled cacao), ideally more. The closer to its severe bean express, the better. Once again we see those cancer prevention agents and helpful polyphenols at work. Specifically, there is a class of synthetic compounds in cocoa called catechins, likewise found in tea, that appear to offer insurance against coronary illness, stroke and malignant growth, as per investigations of South Americans who expend the cocoa bean liberally.
Berries Pretty much any nourishment with word "berry" in it is very sound, with the essential special case being Cap'n's Crunch Berries. Most berries contain ellagic corrosive and other polyphenol cancer prevention agents that restrain tumor development. Try not to get excessively made up for a lost time in one sort of berry and the "best" polyphenol with a name you can't articulate. Concentrate on an assortment of occasional berries and add them to plain, no-fat yogurt.
Scrumptious Smoothie Take a stab at blending a large portion of the things referenced in this enemy of disease nourishment list into a smoothie with non-fat yogurt or luxurious tofu. You'll be astonished the measure of solid garbage you can pack into a smoothie — flaxseed, wheat germ, and considerably unpleasant vegetables — and still think of something delectable as long as you incorporate berries, kiwis, bananas, stripped carrots or any blend thereof. Disclaimer Above advice and suggestion are given from the popular health experts. Despite, we strongly recommend to following your doctor suggestion for better result. Therefore, Root India Healthcare Limited team and or its website will not be liable for any damage, or any side effects etc. Read the full article
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You're upset bc you got called out on saying something stupid like just man up and say ok I'm wrong I won't do it again sorry like that's all you have to do.... it really is that simple ????
Okay but have you seen my other posts where I said "I'm wrong I get it" "I get it I fucked up"Like I literally acknowledged I fucked up and people still felt the need to send a 17 year old death threats because literally you can't fucking disagree with anyone on this shit website without people attacking you. Like I'm literally being told to kill myself over a sarcastic comment I made and it literally drove me into having a psychotic episode because I literally have multiple psychological problems and I ended up carving awful fucking shit into my body with an actual knife. Like do people on here actually realize when they attack someone, that person might not actually be able to handle being threatened because of something literally so fucking small. I literally went to this person and tried to explain myself and yeah I did it in a petty way and they posted it for literally all their followers to see, but then as soon as I started getting anon hate they were like "but those aren't MY followers". Like how do you ACTUALLY know none of those people aren't your followers tho??? Like do you really think that ur followers are gonna step forward and say "yeah lol I was one of those ppl threatening that girl and saying that her and her family deserve to be killed" legit all because I compared TRUMP to fucking HITLER. Like bitch now that I've had my mental breakdown and I've calmed down a bit I can actually advocate for myself and say I'm allowed to have a differing fucking opinion than someone else and I shouldn't be fucking harassed for it. And idk wtf the whole "white liberalism" thing is when like I've done nothing to show I only care about the white race. Like yeah I'm white but that's literally just it??? Like sorry that I think that history is repeating itself bc THE SIGNS ARE ALL THERE and I have countless people agreeing with me WHO HAVE STUDIED THIS SHIT, that Trump is going to turn this country into something absolutely fucked up (he's literally having neo-nazis work for him like idk how else to fucking make this comparison any clearer???). Like are you just upset bc I compared him to hitler bc that's literally what everyone has been doing and it's annoying or are you literally trying to tell me that there are no similarities between them and that I shouldn't be worried as much as you all should be??? Like as long as you're not a Straight White CIS Christian Male, you're fucked. People are being fucking murdered because of this dude. What I'm trying to say if yeah I'm admitting I fucked up and I literally HAVE BEEN but none of you people people listen so I literally went into full panic mode and caused physical fucking harm to my body that probably requires a doctor to look at (let's be honest im not going to a fucking doctor because if they ask me why all this happened and I tell them it was tumblr discourse, they either won't understand or I'll get the biggest eye roll ever). I literally hope everyone is satisfied with themselves here. Are you happy that you got the "clueless white girl" to finally hurt herself because I hope you are. And the whole thing about me "using my mental illness to manipulate people and make them feel bad for me" is so much bullshit. Yes I had someone take a screenshot btw because I wanted to see how things were playing out. All because you got through this type of shit without support doesn't mean you're a better human being??? This was talked about as if people knew exactly what I suffer from and that it was just me using mild depression or something to excuse the dumb shit I do. And if you haven't fucking noticed yet, I literally just admitted right there that some of the shit I do is in fact dumb.If you want to get into this with me and you really want an explanation I can give it to you because that really isn't half the case. My family literally is full of people who have psychological problems (some of which I don't even know the names of). Just recently my grandfather (a retired police officer) was found hiding in his bedroom from my grandmother with a loaded fucking gun while whispering to it and he was later diagnosed with stage 3 Alzheimer's and he's convinced my grandmother is a member of the Italian mafia sent to assassinate him. I'm not telling you family stories for nothing and I'm sure you guys are gonna have a good laugh about this too because no matter what I say to explain myself I still get treated like shit. Im not even sure if I'm allowed to say this, but if even a team of Harvard Medical Graduates; professionals that people from all around the world seek for help from; can't pinpoint what psychological problems I have, then I shouldn't be given that "trying to manipulate people" shit. A fucking adult said this. If you have any experience with being mentally ill like you say you do, then you know just how fucking difficult it is to properly function and be able to say the right things and advocate for yourself. Do you know how fucking hard it is to fall asleep at night and wake up in the morning knowing that you'll probably have to rely on a caretaker for the rest of your fucking life because you can't make choices for yourself and will need to be under constant supervision so you don't fucking hang yourself one day?? I don't fucking enjoy being a literal walking disease, but thanks for implying that I would ever use it as a fucking tool to get what I want when I want it, you ignorant fuck. You didn't possibly think after screenshotting my mental breakdown that "Hey, someone probably has to have some type of chemical imbalance to type all of this out" before posting it and using it as a prop to get on some fucking high horse. I'm not some mildly depressed idiot fucking white girl who has no clue what happens outside of the cushy walls of my fucking house. I know how fucking horrible and disgusting the human race can be to each other which is part of the reason why I'm like this.I get it! You're so much more fucking smarter than me!!! I'm a stereotypical white western liberal! You caught me red handed! I literally hope that every single one of you have gotten your superiority fix for the day because I've literally had to move blogs because of this. I actually came back to this blog to clean up my mess of posts which is what I do after my episodes, and I happened to notice that one of the anons I had was surprisingly not abuse, but still something bitchy anyway. If you want anything positive to come from me answering this, then I'm just gonna say Thank You for not being like one of the other people who wished death upon me. If you guys still aren't satisfied with this, then I don't fucking know what else to say?? I've explained myself and admitted over and over that I was wrong, but nobody was satisfied until I freaked the fuck out and they got a good laugh out of causing a stupid white girl distress. I'm humiliated now and have pretty much become a laughing stock so yeah. There it is.
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11 facts meme taggity thing + 16 facts about me or whatever these things are called
the amazing @gay-trash-cats always tags me in things and then I forget which is how I ended up owing them 27 facts about me. Let’s see! (This thing was so long I needed to make a cut :O)
1.I love my friends, online and real friends alike. They’re amazing people and there is almost nothing I wouldn’t do for them (almost because I’m excluding stuff like genocide or killing a kitten? sorry friends I love you but cats are the best)
2. my favourite sport has always been horse riding and I’ve done it for 9 years, even doing competitions at national level. between studying a lot and not really having the money for it I haven’t been riding in like 8 months now which is probably the longest I’ve been without it in years and I am actually feeling like I’m going through withdrawal.
3. speaking of riding, the first horse I ever really got attached to was this tiny and full of rage Shetland called Caramella (Candy). The two horses who taught me the most were called Perla (Pearl) and Daimon. When I started competitions I first had a crazy pony I loved very much called Asterix, then moved on to this super sweet mare called Ghira, then to a black cutiepie (who was probably the best one in terms of technical abilities) called Kibor. The only actual horse (meaning, not pony) I’ve had for long was a beautiful mare called Actionmaid Z, but since her name was too long I called her Arwen.
4. in 9 years of riding, I’ve only had one bad fall, from this huge horse called Amadeus - it was before I got Arwen and he was scared of everything and definitely too big and strong for my tiny arms, so when a car passed in front of us (the car, funnily enough, contained my best friend’s boyfriend) and he got scared I just splattered to the ground, cracking a few ribs. I’m an idiot and I just got back up and completed the jumping routine I was doing ignoring the fact that I could barely breathe, which probably made it worse, but at least I didn’t go through “fall induced trauma” or whatever. i swear i’m done with the riding facts
5. my friends Clelia and Ionita are horrible people who got me into anime and then told me all the characters who died in Death Note when I was only three episodes in. I’m still not over it.
6. I’m Italian even though my skin is like a ghost’s . I was born in Rome but I moved into the countryside when I was about four, which was possibly the best decision my parents ever made. I still live really close to Rome though so I still go at least once a week.
7. I am currently living in Scotland, near Edinburgh, where I’m staying with a host family. I arrived about four months ago and I’m going to stay at least until June and I’m loving every second of it.
8. I have a dangerous addiction for brownies, crisps, parmesan and ham. I’m serious, I need help.
9. In theory, I speak Italian, English, French and Spanish, but even though I can understand and make myself understood I’m not really confident about my Spanish and my French.
10. To be honest I’m not really confident about my English either especially because when I’m tired I tend to mess up the grammar and mispronounce things
11. which reminds me, I find it incredibly hard to say the word ‘references’. I don’t know why.
12. I love acting and I’m a huge theatre nerd. I’m going to apply for an acting academy this year even though I’m definitely not gonna get in but one at least makes a nice experience right? but it took like five different people to convince me to do it.
13. my musical taste is the weirdest shit because it goes from Italian folk music from the ‘60s/’70s, which is what my parents made me listen to as a child all hail Fabrizio de Andrè to musical theatre with little to nothing in between.
14. my favourite musical is Les Mis (as pretty much everyone who has opened this blog even just once knows), followed by Next to Normal and Jesus Christ Superstar. I do love Hamilton but I can’t manage to choose where to rank it.
15. I can’t stand love stories. Meaning, I can’t read a book where if you take away the love story you have nothing, but I do enjoy them if they are of some addition to the plot. At the same time, pointless romanitc subplots are the least interesting thing in the world (I’m looking at Sharon Carter in Civil War and pretty much every James Bond movie ever made).
16. Shinya Hiiragi is my actual son and I’m going to protect him.
17. I actually have a full battalion of fictional sons and daughters that I adopted because I just have mum instincts with anyone and anything. I think the latest addiction was Ciel Phantomhive.
18. Every year I take part in a Harry Potter themed camp which is a lot of fun because we’re all friends and huge nerds and we just love each other. I went for the first time at the first edition of it when I was 14 or 15 and it probably changed my life.
19. there I met my friend Franz who is like a big brother to me and looks A LOT like Shang from Mulan.
20. I am the actual definition of mum friend which is pretty fun but also a bit stressful lol
21. my favourite character from Les Mis is Enjolras because I see a lot of myself in him. There is also a bit of Jehan Prouvaire in me and I guess some Combeferre as well.
22. throwback to those good old times when the SuperWhoLock fandom seemed to rule Tumblr, I actually wrote a SuperLock fanfiction on an Italian website. I only need to publish the last chapter which is already half written, but the thing hasn’t been updated in two years.
23. I don’t really play videogames but I bought Life is Strange about a week ago and even though I’ve only had time to get to the beginning of episode 2, I’m really enjoying it.
24. I am currently reading Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett and I’m loving it. Aziraphale is the cutest thing, I swear but sometimes I feel like I’m reading a Castiel/Crowley crack fic. The book is amazing though!
25. I’m definitely a cat person and my biggest aspiration in life is living on my own, on an island, with infinite amounts of tea and cats everywhere.
26. My grandmother was a quite renowned writer in Italy (at her time), and her books won quite a lot of awards. My mum is a writer as well but she doesn’t really feel confident about it and has never published anything but i’m determined to get her books published because they’re great and she deserves it.
27. I am a huge nerd and I can’t choose a favourite between sci-fi and fantasy. I love space facts but I also LOVE dragons and unicorns (dragons especially. I have a collection.)
Ugh, I didn’t think I was going to manage to come up with enough stuff... whoever has read everything will be given a virtual toast, I swear. I’m tagging @unicorn-gureshin, @gureshin-trash, @sjexokm and @sparkleofstardust. Enjoy!
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car insurance template
car insurance template
car insurance template
BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :COVERAGE-FINDER.NET
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car insurance template
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car insurance template
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Back flip, True Lies & DRM
Here we go with another episode from Nerds Amalgamated. This week is packed full of fun stuff to look forward to. First up is it a robot or is it a dog? It is Boston Dynamics student competitors with Standford Doggo. This fabulous little robot is awesome and does tricks, listen in to find out what they are. Also did you want your very own robot doggo? Well you are in luck as we tell you about how to get one. Also check our website for the show notes with hyperlinks, you need the article to get what you need.
Next up we have DJ telling us about a proposed new series coming out based on a movie. Yep, another movie is being adapted for your viewing pleasure. It will once again not have the same actors in it that were the main stars in the movie, like so many others out there. But hopefully it will be enjoyable all the same. We won’t hold our breathe but surely they will have learned something over there by now… Who the heck are we kidding, those idiots never listen to anyone else, let alone the proposed viewing public.
Next up we look at the blooper that is worthy of a standing ovation. Someone involved with the release of a game from Bethesda studios forgot the DRM. We know, how unlike Bethesda to stuff up something right? BWAHAHA!!! This amazing bit of luck is available on Steam and quite probably numerous other websites that deal in nefarious shadowy dealings. We personally are unaware of the names of such sites and therefore are unable to confirm or deny such suggestions. But come on, just think about it, a brand new game released without the DRM and no one is going to chase that down the rabbit hole of pirating it? Yeah, like Game of Thrones was never pirated ever.
We have the usual shout outs, remembrances, birthdays and events from history. Plus games we are playing at the moment. All combined into one big mess that we call the show. We hope you enjoy and as always, stay safe, look after each other and stay hydrated.
EPISODE NOTES:
Back flipping robot - https://www.futurity.org/doggo-robot-2067152/
True Lies TV series reboot - https://www.empireonline.com/movies/news/true-lies-tv-adaptation-heading-disney/
DRM - https://steamcommunity.com/games/548570/announcements/detail/2565275416672419265
Games currently playing
Buck
– The Crew 2 - https://store.steampowered.com/app/646910/The_Crew_2/
Professor
– Cataclysm: Dark Days Ahead - https://cataclysmdda.org/
DJ
– Steep - https://store.steampowered.com/app/460920/Steep/(edited)
Other topics discussed
Hold my Beer Comedy
- http://westender.com.au/circus-coming-hold-beer-end-westend/
Flipsy the dog (Simpsons reference)
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_nGJvqHcV8
LEGO Mindstorms
- https://www.lego.com/en-us/mindstorms
Hulu might take Marvel shows such as Daredevil
- https://www.cinemablend.com/television/2466812/hulu-is-down-to-revive-daredevil-and-other-cancelled-marvel-tv-shows
Denuvo
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Denuvo
- https://www.howtogeek.com/400126/what-is-denuvo-and-why-do-gamers-hate-it/
Red Bull Air Championships
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_Bull_Air_Race_World_Championship
6ix9ine (rapper)
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/6ix9ine
Cutscene saga (That’s Not Canon Production Podcast)
- https://thatsnotcanon.com/cutscenesagapodcast
Shoutouts
20 May 1736 - Westminster Bridge Defies a King and the Church - The Archbishop of Canterbury – head of the Church in England – probably prayed there would never be a bridge across the River Thames at Westminster. But he was not alone. Up to the end of the 17th Century most traffic moved up and down on the river rather than by road. River transport was big business and the men who plied their trade on boats and ferries had a lot to lose from the construction of new bridges. They were backed by the Corporation of London which did not want trade moving to the fringes of London, but claimed its main objections were the loss of custom to the watermen and to the City markets and the danger of the navigation of the river being impeded. One of the claims was that if the watermen lost their jobs there would be fewer readily available seamen for the navy if England went to war. The arguments raged on until in 1664 a major proposal for a bridge was made to the King's Privy Council and to the Lord Mayor. City businesses then played their ace card and bribed King Charles II to scrap the proposal. Officially, it was an interest-free loan, but however the transaction was described the effect was that the building of Westminster Bridge would not take place for nearly 100 years. However, over time various people continued to press for such a bridge until in 1721 petitions went to Parliament. There was the same opposition as before but in the end the case was won and permission to build the bridge finally received Royal Approval on 20 May 1736, when George II was on the throne. Work began in 1738 and the bridge was opened on 18 November 1750. - https://www.onthisday.com/articles/westminster-bridge-defies-a-king-and-the-church
21 May 1792 - Mount Unzen on Japan's Shimabara Peninsula, erupts creating a tsunami, killing about 15,000; Japan's deadliest volcanic eruption. - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1792_Unzen_earthquake_and_tsunami
21 May 1980 - "Star Wars Episode V - Empire Strikes Back", produced by George Lucas opens in cinemas in UK and North America -https://www.onthisday.com/people/george-lucas
21 May 2004 - Stanislav Petrov awarded World Citizen Award for averting a potential nuclear war in 1983 after correctly guessing Russian early warning system at fault - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanislav_Petrov
22 May 2019 - Illawarra scientist and inventor Macinley Butson has been featured by the world's biggest video sharing website YouTube for her SMART Armour copper cancer shield fabric. Macinley Butson's SMART (Scale Maille Armour for Radiation Therapy) invention is a device that shields the contralateral breast (the breast not being treated) from excess radiation. As well as being made from high density copper, the shields are handmade. - https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-05-22/youtube-profiles-teenage-scientist-macinley-butson/11134004
Remembrances
20 May 2019 – Nikki Lauda, Austrian Formula One driver, a three-time F1 World Drivers' Champion, winning in 1975, 1977 and 1984, and an aviation entrepreneur. He was the only driver in F1 history to have been champion for both Ferrari and McLaren, the sport's two most successful constructors. He is widely considered one of the greatest F1 drivers of all time. As an aviation entrepreneur, he founded and ran three airlines: Lauda Air, Niki, and Lauda. He was a Bombardier Business Aircraft brand ambassador. He was also a consultant for Scuderia Ferrari and team manager of the Jaguar Formula One racing team for two years. Afterwards, he worked as a pundit for German TV during Grand Prix weekends and acted as non-executive chairman of Mercedes-AMG Petronas Motorsport, of which Lauda owned 10%. Having emerged as Formula One's star driver amid a 1975 title win and leading the 1976 championship battle, Lauda was seriously injured in a crash at the 1976 German Grand Prix at the Nürburgring during which his Ferrari 312T2 burst into flames, and he came close to death after inhaling hot toxic fumes and suffering severe burns. However, he survived and recovered sufficiently to race again just six weeks later at the Italian Grand Prix. Although he narrowly lost the title to James Hunt that year, he won his second Ferrari crown the year after during his final season at the team. After a couple of years at Brabham and two years' hiatus, Lauda returned and raced four seasons for McLaren between 1982 and 1985 – during which he won the 1984 title by 0.5 points over his teammate Alain Prost. He died of natural causes at 70 in Zurich. - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Niki_Lauda
21 May 1935 - Jane Addams, known as the mother of social work, a pioneer American settlement activist/reformer, social worker, public philosopher, sociologist, public administrator, protester, author, and leader in women's suffrage and world peace. She co-founded Chicago's Hull House, one of America's most famous settlement houses. In 1920, she was a co-founder for the ACLU. In 1931, she became the first American woman to be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize and is recognized as the founder of the social work profession in the United States. She is increasingly being recognized as a member of the American pragmatist school of philosophy and is known by many as the first woman "public philosopher in the history of the United States". In the Progressive Era, when presidents such as Theodore Roosevelt and Woodrow Wilson identified themselves as reformers and social activists, Addams was one of the most prominent reformers. She helped America address and focus on issues that were of concern to mothers, such as the needs of children, local public health, and world peace. In her essay "Utilization of Women in City Government," Addams noted the connection between the workings of government and the household, stating that many departments of government, such as sanitation and the schooling of children, could be traced back to traditional women's roles in the private sphere. Thus, these were matters of which women would have more knowledge than men, so women needed the vote to best voice their opinions. She said that if women were to be responsible for cleaning up their communities and making them better places to live, they needed to be able to vote to do so effectively. Addams became a role model for middle-class women who volunteered to uplift their communities. She died of cancer at 74 in Chicago, Illinois.
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jane_Addams
- https://www.nobelprize.org/prizes/peace/1931/addams/biographical/
23 May 1701 - William Kidd, Scottish sailor who was tried and executed for piracy after returning from a voyage to the Indian Ocean. Some modern historians, for example Sir Cornelius Neale Dalton, deem his piratical reputation unjust. He was hanged for his crimes at 47 in Execution Dock,Wapping, London. - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Kidd
Famous birthdays
21 May 1948 – Leo Sayer, English-Australian singer-songwriter musician and entertainer whose singing career has spanned four decades. He is now an Australian citizen and resident. Sayer launched his career in the United Kingdom in the early 1970s, and became a top singles and album act on both sides of the Atlantic in the 1970s. His first seven hit singles in the United Kingdom all reached the Top 10 – a feat first registered by his first manager, Adam Faith. His songs have been sung by other notable artists, including Cliff Richard ("Dreaming"). He was born in Shoreham-by-Sea, Sussex - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leo_Sayer
21 May 1960 - Jeffrey Dahmer, also known as the Milwaukee Cannibal or the Milwaukee Monster, was an American serial killer and sex offender. Although he was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder,schizotypal personality disorder, and a psychotic disorder, Dahmer was found to be legally sane at his trial. He was convicted of 15 of the 16 murders he had committed in Wisconsin, and was sentenced to 15 terms of life imprisonment on February 15, 1992. He was later sentenced to a 16th term of life imprisonment for an additional homicide committed in Ohio in 1978. On November 28, 1994, Dahmer was beaten to death by Christopher Scarver, a fellow inmate at the Columbia Correctional Institution. He was born in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeffrey_Dahmer
22 May 1905 - Bodo von Borries, Germanphysicist. He was the co-inventor of the electron microscope. After World War II , he founded the "Rhine-Westphalia Institute for Electron Microscopy" in Düsseldorf in 1948. In 1949, he was involved in the foundation of the German Society for Electron Microscopy. He was born in Herford,North Rhine-Westphalia - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bodo_von_Borries
Events of Interest
21 May 1881 - American Red Cross founded by Clara Barton, an organization established to provide humanitarian aid to victims of wars and natural disasters in congruence with the International Red Cross. - https://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/american-red-cross-founded
21 May 1927 - Aviator Charles Lindbergh, in the Spirit of St Louis, lands in Paris after the first solo air crossing of Atlantic. - https://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/lindbergh-lands-in-paris
21 May 1932 - After flying for 17 hours from Newfoundland, Amelia Earhart lands near Londonderry, Northern Ireland, becoming the 1st transatlantic solo flight by a woman - https://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/earhart-completes-transatlantic-flight
22 May 1906 – The Wright brothers are granted U.S. patent number 821,393 for their "Flying-Machine".
- Patent - http://invention.psychology.msstate.edu/i/Wrights/WrightUSPatent/WrightPatent.html
- https://patents.google.com/patent/US821393A/en
- Patent War - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wright_brothers_patent_war
Intro
Artist – Goblins from Mars
Song Title – Super Mario - Overworld Theme (GFM Trap Remix)
Song Link - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-GNMe6kF0j0&index=4&list=PLHmTsVREU3Ar1AJWkimkl6Pux3R5PB-QJ
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Dickheads of the Month: August 2018
As it seems that there are people who say or do things that are remarkably dickheaded yet somehow people try to make excuses for them or pretend it never happened, here is a collection of some of the dickheaded actions we saw in the month of August 2018 to make sure that they are never forgotten.
Apparently not learning from their “wrong type of Jews” debacle back in April, The Times, the BBC’s Newsnight programme, the Evening Standard, several on the Labour right (most notably Louise Ellman, and I’ll get to her in a minute) and various hacks with an axe to grind such as Hadley Freeman and Marcus Dysch all decided to push their “Jeremy Corbyn is anti-Semitic” agenda by trying to claim that Hajo Meyer, a Jewish survivor of Auschwitz, was anti semitic for comparing Israeli treatment of Palestinians to Nazi treatment of jews during the Holocaust at a talk in 2010 - somehow all failing to understand that, when you start smearing a Holocaust survivor (who died in 2014) for having an opinion that doesn’t kowtow the official Israeli line, it makes you look remarkably antisemitic
Special mention, though, has to go to Louise Ellman for appearing on Newsnight and claiming claiming to be shocked and appalled to learn about Meyer’s talk (while neglecting to mention that Meyer was Jewish at any point) - only for it to rapidly come to light that she was at the talk
Forgetting he’s supposed to be some sort of lovable oaf who occasionally says some not-so-lovable things, Boris Johnson not only bypassed lovable and went for downright ignorant with his comments about Muslim women in burqas in a Telegraph column, meaning he couldn’t even explain away how he both dehumanised and criminalised them with the comparisons to letterboxes and bank robbers, but he refused to apologise for his comments and, besides, he can't be disciplined as Parliament is on recess and he’s gone on holiday so ner ner ner-ner - which of course has nothing to do with him being one of the Tories who have met with Steve Bannon to discuss how being a racist imbecile can boost their careers
The response to Johnson’s comments has also seen a whole spread of dickheadishness: bonehead messiah Tommy Robinson was quick to jump on “letterbox” as his new favourite racial slur; the coverage the BBC’s Newsnight gave the story focused solely on the letterbox comment and acted as if the one comparison them to bank robbers hadn’t been made; within the Tory party we saw Jacob Rees-Mogg come up with some absurd suggestion that Johnson was only being criticised by some within his own party because he’s a threat to Theresa May’s leadership and, besides, focusing on this story something something Labour are responsible for the Holocaust; writing for The Spectator we had Rod Liddle actually make the argument that there isn’t enough Islamophobia within the Tory party; while Rowan Atkinson defended the joke at a time when reports were saying people were trying to shove envelopes into the front of a burka while a woman was wearing it as that too is apparently oh-so funny.
Of course, trust the Daily Mail to come roaring to Johnson’s defence with a story about how Jeremy Corbyn laid a wreath at a cemetery in Tunis where the perpetrators of the Munich Olympics massacre were said to be buried - a story that even Benjamin Netanyahu was quick to jump on. There’s just one tiny problem with that assertion: not a single one of the eight Black September members responsible are buried at that cemetary, which ever so slightly makes the Mail and Netanyahu look either misinformed or like they’re content to misinform the public - and since gullible idiot (and sometimes Transport Secretary) Chris Grayling later repeated the same mistake-laden falsehood, it’s clear which version is the most likely one.
Not to be outdone, Margaret Hodge decided to show that Labour MPs could also use this story to make the stupidest fucking comments when she stated there is “a fine line between being pro-Palestinian, and being anti-Semitic” while also claiming her being investigated for ranting like a swivel-eyed loon was akin to how the Nazis treated Jews - in doing so trivilising the Holocaust, blatantly using anti-Semitism as a rock to throw at people, lending some heavily Islamophobic undertones to her comments, while also shining light on the standard that Hajo Meyer can be smeared as antisemitic for his aforementioned comments, yet when Hodge makes an offensively trite comparison a week later there wasn’t a peep from any of the antisemitic witch hunters in the press who were baying for Corbyn’s blood
A gang of Make Britain Great Again thugs (a gang which included UKIP members Elizabeth Jones, Luke Nash-Jones and Martin Costello) thought the best way to get their message across was to storm the Bookmarks bookshop in Bloomsbury and smash up the shop, threatening the staff and being oh-so-clever they filmed themselves doing it, because if you’re going to commit wanton acts of vandalism while threatening people and shouting Islamophobic abuse, the best thing you can do is make sure the public can see your faces
In the wake of the Morandi Bridge collapse, Italian Deputy Prime Minister and leader of the Northern League Matteo Salvini initially said that the collapse was the fault of the EU for cutting funding to road and bridge maintenance before he spiralled off into some fuckwittery about immigrants. And like clockwork it soon emerged that not only had the EU increased road and bridge maintenance funding, but the Five Star coalition which Salvini is part of had publicly rubbished a report by the Società Autostrade warning that the bridge had at best thirty years before it collapsed as a “fairy tale” - and they promptly thought deleting that quote from their website would make it go away, obviously forgetting that internet archives exist.
In a blatant example of punching down, Sky News hack Lewis Goodall not only attended a Jeremy Corbyn rally in Stoke to hurl barbed questions at his supporters, but when one of these supporters flubbed what they were saying he seized upon that and put it front and centre of his hit piece - even though the person in question had, after realising her flub and correcting it, requested it not be shown, and it took calls to both Sky News and Ofcom to have it removed, but by that time the damage was done and the clip was circulating the internet and she was receiving all manner of personal abuse online. Yet it didn’t end there, as several days later The Last Leg repeated the clip in a similar sneering hit piece, and the process began all over again.
I’m sure that Yanny Bruere thought he was being very, very clever when he commissioned a blimp of Sadiq Khan to be flown over London, knowing full well that those loonie lefties would implode with indignation at the sight of it...only for Khan to approve the blimp while showing he has a sense of humour, while those on the right imploded in indignation that those on the left responded (contrary to what Paul Joseph Watson claimed) with either a shrug of the shoulders or derisive laughter that Bruere paid £60,000 while the Trump baby balloon cost a third of that, leaving those on the far right to implode with indignation to the point they were having to mock up Guardian headlines to pretend they weren't being laughed at
While there are people commending Omarosa Manigault Newman for recording White House Chief of Staff John F Kelly threatening her, let’s not forget that recording people without their knowledge or consent within the White House not only justifies her sacking as it;s against official protocol, but as a potential security issue it could land her in all manner of hot water
Having lost their title of The Antichrist of Gaming, Activision sunk a lot of thought in how they’d reclaim that infernal crown - and then it hit them, with physical copies of Spyro Reignited only containing the first Spyro game while the other two would have to be downloaded, and try and explain it away with some mealy-mouthed crap about games needing updates as if 2/3 of the games in the collection were mere updates
While their reputation as one of the good guys of the games industry means Bethesda usually get away with shitehousery, that was put to the test by the company siccing their legal firm Vorys onto somebody attempting to sell a copy of The Evil Within 2 on Amazon due to listing the copy as new due to their never having played it nor even removed it from its cellophane wrapper after purchasing it, not only blocking the listing but also threatening legal action
To the surprise of absolutely nobody, news of Alex Jones being booted from various social media platforms was met with the usual outpourings from the “REEEEEEEdom of Speech” mob who still can’t get it into their heads that, if someone violates the ToS of that social media platform, they are within their rights to terminate that account - although it does beg the question why his accounts were terminated now and not any other time he called Sandy Hook a hoax
Rather than take the time to play Dead Cells and compose his thoughts for an IGN review, instead Filip Miucin thought he could plagiarise a review by Youtube channel Boomstick Gaming word-for-word and get away with it...only for Boomstick Gaming to post a side-by-side comparison of their reviews to prove that Miucin was just regurgitating other channels’ reviews for a quick and easy buck which led to his prompt termination by IGN - yet rather than take the hint and skulk off under the nearest rock, Miucin posted the most pathetic excuse for an apology video (which he monetised...) since Logan Paul where he never once apologised to Boomstick Gaming, he did apologise to IGN for causing them problems with having to remove numerous videos, babbled some nonsensical conspiracy theory about Kotaku journalist Jason Schreier, and then challenged the internet to find any proof that he plagiarised anyone else’s work...which swiftly revealed several other examples of Miucin plagiarisng other people’s work, examples which wouldn’t have come to light if he kept his gob shut - and it was even pointed out his apology video was plagiarised from Quinton Reviews’ How to Make an Apology Video which was posted in February 2017
Having lost a vote of No Confidence, it was a matter of time before Frank Field was deselected - but he thought that nobody noticed and instead said something something anti-semitism was the reason he was leaving the Labour party, and nobody should mention the ten foot pole nudging him over a cliff which was repeatedly nudging him in the back in the general direction of the nearest cliff
You would think that even Fox News couldn't mess up a tribute to Aretha Franklin, but they managed to do just that by rushing the package to air so fast nobody bothered to check whether it featured images anyone other than Aretha Franklin - at least until it aired, when plenty of people noticed the image of Patti LaBelle which was prominently featured
Doing a fine job of undermining the tattered husk of the “REEEEEEEdom of Speech” argument, freedom of speech enthusiast MundaneMatt was exposed for abusing Youtube’s flag system so that any video that so much as mentioned him was purged from the service, going to the level of using an app to track down videos so he could flag them without even watching them - and he didn’t even have the sense to even attempt to cover his tracks, as he used his regular account to have the videos purged and left and easy to follow trail that killed his denials dead
Is anyone in the media actually capable of making a connection between Robert Chain sending death threats to the Boston Globe and some bloke currently sitting in the White House who keeps stating that the media is the enemy of the people? Because it's not the first time something like this has happened in 2018, and the question is how many more times this will happen
According to Tory MP Simon Hart, because Maxine Peake has been critical of government spending cuts to the NHS it is “hypocritical” of her to lend her voice to an NHS recruitment advert, because of course criticising the government for underfunding the NHS is the exact same thing as lending her voice to a campaign looking to encourage people to work for the NHS...
Manly man at the height of his manliness Raymond Reinke took it upon himself to show a bison in Yellowstone who the dominant species was by squaring up to one as it was roaming past visitors - which wasn’t even the only example of him being a dickhead in a national park, as he’d also been arrested in Grand Teton National Park a few days earlier due to being completely shitfaced at the end of July
Just when you thought the level of political debate couldn’t get any lower, along comes daft bint Kaya Jones whose entire output consists of her posting photos of her posing in a bikini while holding plastic drinking straws to “trigger” the “libs” - a message which doesn’t appear to be getting through, given the replies she receives all seem to be made by viagra sex pests
Here’s a suggestion for Elon Musk: when the heat that came your way for calling somebody a “pedo guy” on Twitter dies down, you make sure it stays died down. What you don’t do is come back a few weeks later and tweet how, as the person hasn’t unleashed the lawyers on you, that means your accusation is 100% accurate - not least because that’s the sort of behaviour the people trying to shove you out the door at Tesla will seize upon
In the middle of the biggest push of his career (even though it’s been dragging down the G1 Climax like a squadron of lead zeppelins) Tama Tonga took it upon himself to jump into the crowd and garb a random fan and put them in a chokehold...which promptly saw him publicly disciplined for such dunderheadedry and (presumably) saw his potential ceiling drastically lowered
And last but by no means least is Al Capone aficionado Donald Trump, who is was apparently so traumatised by the events he saw in a documentary called Star Wars that he is now diverting the US budget towards fighting this terrible and unjust war
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