#((//SHE HAS NO WORDS))
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kensatou · 4 months ago
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i'll let phie-san say it:
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kagoutiss · 24 days ago
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i’ll take care of everything
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asahina-mafuyu-official · 1 year ago
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>These charges are because of you. If you hadn’t been in the area, I likely wouldn’t have been arrested for endangerment.
Akito's right. The only thing he had to do was the officer wrongly listing child endangerment because he thought he was in your care
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who-is-riley · 5 months ago
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or at least it went something like that
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opikiquu · 6 months ago
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dingledraw · 7 months ago
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South Downs cottage fluff based on the Dolly Parton song “Berrypie” 🩷
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paperglader · 3 months ago
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i just feel like someone should take one for the team and write the fanfic where miss homotron goes to dragonstone on foot, meets her situationship’s new lover, and immediately goes like blind with jealousy and fury (rhaenyra, as always when alicent’s near, looks and behaves like a very confused kicked puppy)
i just need homotron and saphotron to meet, so the real war can begin
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bruciemilf · 2 months ago
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So glad you clarified that "Alfred bleeding out at brucie's day party" was step 1 in becoming pennywaynes. I was just about to ask lol
Also thinking that Alfred doesn't say "fuck" because Thomas says it enough for both of them. And how they're both feral in opposite directions (loud and vulgar vs poised and eloquent) makes me wonder what direction Martha is feral in. Exceedingly painfully viciously polite? Barefoot in the dirt, she'd love poison ivy fae-tinged feral? Does this make sense? I'm sick. All I can think about is Thomas and Alfred preparing to carve someone up and you don't even know who you are supposed to be more scared of
I like to imagine Martha as Morticia Addams feral. Regal, majestic, peculiar, and could wipe the floor with your self-esteem in a minute if crossed. Bruce’s mama was a silent badass for sure.
I like to think Damian inherited her affection for animals! Hers pets were just more… Unique, let’s say.
Imagine you’re Alfred. You’ve been working at the Wayne manor for about two weeks now.
Thomas, your husband boss hands you a huge chunk of bloody meat hanging from a butcher hook, while yelling violently at a business partner on the phone.
“Al, go feed Bruce, will ya?”
“?????????????”
Bruce gently grabs Alfred’s hand (Alfred has to tilt down) and he’s taken to the pool area.
There’s a big ass tank.
There’s a big ass, 20 foot long, great white shark in that tank. Bruce hugs the glass. Alfred may or may not pass out. Martha gently takes Bruce in her arms, kindly asks Alfred to clean the floors, and vanishes in the shadows.
She also has an albino ball python that Bruce adores. Occasionally, she wears him as a scarf. Alfred is severely loving and regretting his life choices.
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caffichai · 5 months ago
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Toddifons! (and bonus version w/o tanktop)
Working in the shop on a hot summer day is, well, hot
Hey, since you're here, check this out!
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journey-to-the-attic · 1 year ago
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approximation of an idea i had for how ik solves levi's ordeal whenever it's his turn for this weird demon puberty everyone in nb s2 is having
from this post
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demaparbat-hp · 3 days ago
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*pats Zuko's head* This bad boy can fit so many near-death experiences.
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Read For the Spirits Chapter VIII here!
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stingrayextraordinaire · 6 months ago
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I don’t think there is any art in the world quite as astonishing as Kinuko Craft’s illustrations for Patricia McKillip’s novels
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thedreadvampy · 2 years ago
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Losing my shit about this article in which a transphobic Tory was so busy panicking about existing in the vicinity of a Trans that she almost certainly misheard "jeans" as "penis" and decided that not only was this a problem with the other woman, but also that the world must be informed of this pressing danger.
"a trans woman! I had to stand directly behind her....I thought, 'this is going well', I'm handling The Situation fine'..."
translated: I saw a tall woman with broad shoulders. How would I get out of this alive? I thought. she has a PENIS. PENIS PENIS PENIS. through some force of PENIS I mean will I managed to PENIS behave normally towards her. My hands were PENIS PENIS PENIS shaking as I tried to dry them. summoning up all my PENIS courage I said 'dryer's crap innit'. she turned to me and said " yeah I'm just goiPENIS PENIS PENIS"
It's been a week and I'm still shaking. This proves trans women are the problem and I'm not weird. I'm fine. It's fine. If you think about it I'm the hero hePENIS!!!!!
very this
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#red said#it's just. I'm obsessed.#everyone on Twitter is saying 'never happened' and i think they're wrong#this absolutely did happen and she's been obsessing over how vindicated it made her feel enough to WRITE AN ARTICLE ABOUT IT#because she MISHEARD SOMEONE IN A CASUAL CONVERSATION#i lay out my reasoning thusly: if you were INVENTING a scary trans woman in bathroom story out of nothing. why would it be this?#why would you go with 'we had a banal conversation until she said a sentence that makes no sense and that no human has ever uttered#but which does coincidentally sounds almost exactly like a mishearing of a very NORMAL thing to say in the circumstances#then she left and nothing else occurred'#if you were going to INVENT a story you would probably make it MAKE SENSE or SOUND THREATENING#i truly believe this is a very authentically told account of what she thinks happened#because who would. by means other than mishearing. think 'I'm going to wipe my hands on my penis' makes any sense at all.#a) 'I'm going to dry my hands on my genitals' says the presumably fully clothed woman#b) who then proceeds to leave without doing anything threatening#c) WHO SAYS PENIS THREATENINGLY? sorry it's writing out 'penis' repeatedly that made this jump out to me but like. who says that?#you might hear someone talk casually about their dick or cock but i stg it's only doctors and TERFs who casually use the word penis much#it's so. clinically descriptive. it's a weird use of language. but it IS. something you could plausibly mishear from 'pants' or 'trousers'
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aflockofravens · 8 months ago
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Also, Jinshi in "How to Buy Out a Contract" was hilarious.
Do you think he's prettier than me
I was contemplating your murder but my future wife cat thinks you'll make a good brother in law so I'll let you live
My future wife cat trusts you, so I trust you. Don't fuck it up.
Have some money to leave my future wife alone forever go marry her sister
Did you see that Gaoshun? I did a socializing. Do you think Maomao will be proud of me?
Also Lihaku is precious. What an adorable golden retriever of a man. He went from absolute disdain at Maomao when she approached him for an escort to being like "help me little sister, I'm in love".
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p4nishers · 1 year ago
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crowley, drunk off his ass: and i was yk just some fucked up soul born in cold and rain but he was my fucking sunlight or whatever
hozier, frantically writing on a napkin: HHHMMMM TELL ME MORE
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hollytree33 · 10 months ago
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JUDGEMENT
Finally, her fourth and final card for Trespasser!!
1. The Hanged Man
2. The Chariot
3. The High Priestess
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