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mischiefmodig · 6 months ago

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Unpopular Opinion \ / @fellstcr \ / not accepting

🔥 (their parents) 🔥 (loki, character) 🔥 (mcu fandom??) 🔥 freebie!!

I have a lot of ground to cover, but here we go!! (apologies in advance, the last one gets p long)

Frigga is not as good of a mom as everyone wants to say.

Now with that being said, Frigga is a good mom... but that's pretty much only regulated to Loki rather than both Thor AND Loki |D I have a lot of headcanons about Frigga being his main caretaker especially when he was a baby. And as Loki grew up he just had more of her temperament and obviously, his being magically inclined helped a lot in them becoming so close as well since she was able to able to teach him her own gifts with sorcery, essentially passing down her teachings to him.

But it's so clear in the films just how much she struggles to connect to Thor in the same way. She does her best but considering even she believes that Thor + Odin cast big shadows and that Loki learning her magic was his light, indicates pretty clearly to me that she never properly bothered to connect to Thor on his side of things. That and she can't comfort Thor properly when they are together, but she is literally able to read Loki like an open book.

Now I do think that of course, she loved both of her kids. Thor is actually her child, and I don't think she ever fully meant to favor Loki over him. It's just kind of how it happens when it feels like one child needs more attention than the other - That and I'm sure at some point Odin was taking a much greater role in Thor's life (which Loki was clearly envious of to a degree) and I think she absolutely would have been the biggest advocate for both of their well beings. (and ofc in terms of Thor she was his biggest support with Jane and I think that's very good of her to do too)

But let's not forget here. Frigga was just as complicit in lying to Loki about his heritage as Odin was. And I think personally if Odin did not love Loki at all he would not have hesitated to make it clear that Loki isn't his son at all times. I just think it's too easy to make Frigga out to be the better parent when she played favorites as much as Odin is perceived to. (lbr Odin of course was going to train Thor more than Loki. Thor is literally the oldest who was always going to become king. That's just how the system works and Loki knows that. I do think Odin neglected to give Loki enough affirmation, but people act like Odin was a fantastic father to Thor too when he really just wasn't.)

Loki would not be as interesting as a character without Thor.

They are the sun and moon. Hot and cold. Darkness and Light. Chaos and Order. At their best, they are an unstoppable team, and at their worst they are enemies. But no matter what, by blood or by oath they are brothers. B R O T H E R S.

Speaking strictly to Loki: he has never known his life without Thor in it. He was saved from death (NOT TAKEN) from Jotunheim and has spent his entire life since as a son of Odin. Where Thor struggles, Loki fills in his weaknesses, and vice versa. I see people get caught up in "Loki being weaker" and thus tearing down Thor in the process, but that couldn't be further from the truth. (also tearing down other characters to raise another up is actually lowering the bar for the second character to succeed and doesn't make them look better at all. In fact, it makes them look worse because the standard is now so low :))

Where Thor is very easily heated, Loki can help him focus. While Thor is a tank in combat, Loki is swift and able to take out enemies with precision and speed. Thor is intelligent particularly when it comes to people and he is very compassionate, while Loki focuses on being book smarts and being keen in debates and negotiations. It's SO obvious they really were meant to rule together, with Loki as an advisor to Thor as king. They have a dynamic with each other that is so neat and a bond that spans hundreds to a thousand years. You can't just tear that apart just because you like one character over another. Their stories are tied to each other, and in Tom's words "You can't have Loki without Thor, or Thor without Loki."

Has Thor done Loki wrong? Yes, absolutely. But Loki has equally done wrong by Thor, he is not innocent in that either. Being a shadow is not a bad thing, it's really not, in fact, I could absolutely argue that it is where Loki thrives tbch. But ultimately his origins are found in Thor, and trying to erase that is doing Loki a huge disservice.

Thorki is incestual in nature.

I'm not going to lie to ya, the fact that you ever have to say "Well technically they're not brothers" to ship them, I think makes it pretty clear that it's actually not a good ship LOL

Every time I mention that this is a thing to people not in fandom or in the Thor fandom, they are consistently appalled by it. And as they should be! I've actually seen fan-made comics of when the boys were kids crushing BEFORE THEY EVEN KNEW and that is just //gags

I really also need people to tag Thorki properly so that my filters can block those posts. I don't want nothin to do with that and I don't want it on my dash anymore <v< but that's kind of a whole other thing. I cccccan see why people do it, and I personally think Loki is attracted to people who are similar to Thor (i.e good hearts, heroes, sunshine personality, hopeful, kind, etc.) which is also why I don't think Sylki works as a ship either outside of the selfcest - but I could go on a whole other tangent about them tbh.

Gimme my good wholesome brothers who are just doing sibling things. Not every single pairing of people needs to have romantic inclinations, they can just be very close as friends or family. The boys grew up together for a thousand years, and you're seriously trying to tell me that suddenly both of them abandon their roots to be romantic?? Buddy that is not how that works and don't make no sense at aaaaaall.

Platonic soulmates are just as valid as Romantic ones.

TVA Loki and MCU Loki are not the same, and I won't be gaslit into thinking otherwise by directors who don't care about Loki in general.

I don't know why this is a trend at all, but it seems like the character of Loki keeps getting handled by people who don't care for him in the slightest. Waititi completely sidelined him in gagnarok (in favor of totally misunderstanding Thor and Odin's dynamics) when that film needed to be about the boys properly recovering from the past decades worth of issues. And then in the Loki show that director stopped making him the main character AT ALL as soon as Sylvie showed up.

Anyways, the whole entire point of the Loki show, is that there are multiple dimensions (which they call timelines stupidly) in which multiple variations of every exist. The people in them are supposed to be similar but clearly have slightly different characteristics (see Boastful Loki or Croc Loki) while they all have the same events. And in the show, he straight up does not act the same as he does in the Thor films.

And with that said, we go back to the main topic which is "these two Loki's are actually not the same person."

- First of all, Loki is not a narcissist. A narcissist is defined as "a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves." which Loki has NEVER had. Ever. In any of his film appearances. Being ambitious (and occasionally selfish) is entirely different, but Loki does not admire himself to an unhealthy degree. The only thing the show gets right is that Loki is deeply fearful and insecure, but the fact that he says it outright is just bad writing. - Second of all, Loki is not flighty or talkative. Loki is famous for having a silver tongue, but that does not mean he rambles on and on about a point or uses big words just use them. Actually intelligent people do not need to fake it to prove that they are smart. Loki uses his words exactly when he means to, and doesn't use metaphors/hyperbole at every given opportunity. ( do not confuse Fanon Loki with what Loki is actually like in the films. ) Loki can quip but he never does it excessively. In the show, Loki is constantly moving and fidgeting something fierce when he is typically very still and planted. - THIRD of all, Loki has never been someone who relies on magic as much as TVA does in the second season. Loki is an Asgardian warrior, trained by the best of the best to be an absolute master at combat. Loki primarily relies on daggers using the Ice pick technique (which is actually extremely difficult to master btw), which allows him to be swift in a fight and take out his opponents with deadly precision. Of course, Loki uses his cleverness and magic in battle too, but he isn't out throwing balls of magic fire willy-nilly or making a big scene. Loki has never needed his magic to be good at fighting or keep up with Thor. Frankly, that is an impressive feat in itself that too many people put down for no reason. I'm all in favor of magic characters doing their magical thing, but high key Loki is so much cooler because he is strong enough to rely on magic that he has already mastered too. But this is not true for tva!loki who uses magic literally all of the time.

Now we could call all of this him being out of character, however, I think in the scope of the show it would make more sense to just have him be a different Loki entirely. Which would be fine, if they didn't try to constantly make him out to be exactly like mcu!Loki. They give him the memories of Avengers onward and then speed-run his development in like first episodes to make him have the same emotions WITHOUT actually any development.

Even if we are led to believe that tva!Loki and mcu!Loki started off the same, then they sTILL could never become the same as the Loki we know from 10 years' worth of films. mcu!Loki got to mourn for Frigga in the moment, sacrifice himself for Thor+Jane, lie about it again and take the throne from Odin, pretend to be Odin for several years, see him die, fight his crazy half-adopted sister, watch Asgard be destroyed, and then ultimately sacrifice himself AGAIN to save Thor ending his life.

tva!Loki watched it on a screen... and clearly was emotional about it, as one would be. But none of that is the same as Loki actually being able to experience it. I think I would like tva!Loki SO much more if they treated him like he was legitimately still in Avengers and still in the mindset that he wants to be king to prove to his brother/father that he could do it and is good enough to be a part of the family. And that he was a different Loki entirely.

Instead, the show completely erases his history and his character in favor of an annoying mix of taika!loki and fandom!loki and it's just cringy to watch honestly. The Loki show is just so bad in terms of writing, lore, characterization, humor, and continuity, and now that they're getting rid of Kang the Conqueror, the whole show is completely obsolete! :D

#( answered . ) \ / you may bring your urgent matter to me .#( ooc . ) \ / legend of d. b cooper .#( queue . ) \ / the sun will shine upon us once again .#( hc . ) \ / you think so little of me ?#i really popped off with this one LOL

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milesmoerales · 1 month ago

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headcanon meme: a knb character of your choice bc i've never watched them and barely knows their names sorry

character headcanon meme: HIMURO TATSUYA ❄️

sexuality headcanon

pansexual, he's def the type of a guy who wouldn't mind kissing anyone in the room. drunk or sober. he literally makes everyone question their sexuality lol

gender headcanon

cis ig? i support genderqueer tatsuya agenda tho!

a ship i have with said character

HIMUNIJI.............

tatsuya is literally the man of nijimura's dream. i'm deadly serious nijimura is so, so gay the first time he saw himuro. bro even has a gay panic the whole time. not to mention they're using a first name basis. holding hands. blushing. the entire kurobas novel replace v: stopping on the way is basically their rom-com, coming-of-age movie that takes place in los angeles california where the main character falls in love with someone he met 5 seconds ago and then something dramatic happened. himuniji's canon novel deserves its own movie, produced by a24 studio, and directed by luca guadagnino. he would love them, fight me.

also nijimura is literally equal to himuro. they're literally the same age, same height (himuro is an inch and half taller but still!!), same interest in sport (basketball and table sports), surprisingly the subject they're good at is maths, they're also equally good at fighting, like both were delinquents in their past (except himuro was WILDER lmao), both are the big brother figure esp nijimura who has younger siblings (with a sick father) and raises 7 kids at the age of fucking 15 is a former captain of generation of miracles so he acts way wiser and more mature for his age, i think whenever nijimura with himuro he could do what boys his age do. being silly. being stupid. he doesn't have to get a little caught up in the role of head of household for a while or being the big brother for his younger friends. nijimura could get his youth back with himuro. also himuro doesn't have to be angst about with nijimura since they match each other's freaks and there's no big gaps between them unlike him with kagami or murasakibara. TLDR they're so fucking funny together. they're perfect for each other.

himumibu, it's another crack pair i like. i love the idea himuro would be so protective to our canon nonbinary queen king mibuchi reo from home of phobic fuckers. they would love going to pride parade together.

a brotp i have with said character

kagami for obvious reasons. himuro is totally the best brother figure kagami has. he may feel jealous of kagami's gifted skills, but aside from basketball, he literally acts like kagami's biological brother. the way he protects him and even drags him into tatsuya's deliquency during their time in los angeles. it's very understandable kagami is so fucking crumbled when himuro said they're no longer brothers after what they did--lying to their parents, fooling the cops, biking to 32 km, going to the forest and himuro wants them to stop being brothers?? be for fucking real, tatsuya!!!! also despite himuro considers him as a rival, kagami still looks up to him. himukaga brotp ftw!!!

murasakibara, bc lbr muro-chin is murasakibara's hotter and cooler step-mom. i love the way himuro dotes on him and literally the one in yosen can handle murasakibara's childish ass. if akashi is murasakibara's og mom who's strict but is actually so fond of him, then himuro as a step-mom spoils him even more to get his attention. himuro is the #1 murasakibara's chips supplier atp

alex, she's like the mom of himuro and kagami.

wei liu, foreigners duo. i always hc himuro is still not familiar with japanese culture and speaks broken japanese despite him being a literal japanese and whenever himuro and liu have a chat, they sometimes get lost in translation. liu also would teach himuro swear/dirty words in chinese.

takao, they def would form a band, doing a bunch of covers of emo bands.

mayuzumi, they never interact in canon universe, but since they're in fujimaki's dream team, i think they would be good friends (since himuro's personality isn't that annoying and mayuzumi can tolerate a person like him)

a notp i have with said character

not really have one..... but im quite not fond of murahimu romantically.

a random headcanon

at this point i believe himuro's parents sent him to a catholic school in akita (literally from a warm place to a cold place how much himuros parents have to punish him 😭) bc each day he strays further from god in los angeles lol like himuro literally picks a fight with guys who are much bigger than him on daily basis, canonically gets along with people from underworld, probably has smoked blunt and drunk alcohol despite being a minor, has fake ids/drivers lisence, makeout sessions every weekend and probably he's the person nijimura lost his virginity to......... also himuro fucks a boy in the ass or any sin he commits while a crucifix and mother mary's statue in his room watching him

also maybe he speaks english in californian accent and misses in-n-out burgers on a regular basis hes just basically a los angeles dude walking streotype lol

general opinion over said character

himuro tatsuya is basically if takasugi shinsuke (and ive's wonyoung) could play basketball, speak english, was a californian, and tall (even taller than tatsuma). he's the inspiration of taylor swift "he's so tall, handsome as hell. he's so bad, but he does it so well." he's the menace. beautiful menace.

in case you need a reference what himuro tatsuya looks like

#im forever pissed fujimaki really did him dirty in the series #the way he did kise dirty but even worse.....he seemed hating visually attractive characters lol #like himuro is the best example for people with ordinary talent who's achieved high level and skill in basketball #kiseki no sedai skills are beyond crazy it's like implying hard work will never win against the true prodigies #fuck zone or whatever himuro got jesus tho hallelujah #sorry i didn't mean to write this long i just got carried away 😭#and thank you for the ask!!#tamanone #ask

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candy-pants · 1 year ago

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Oh no I’m so sorry!! I hesitated to say anything cuz I wasn’t sure if you were just taking your time lol. Sorry we’re down to the last day but let’s pack in a lot of questions in that case!! First off, Ashley is kinda slaying in that vid ngl. And I love learning more about latam Disney channel, thanks for sharing!! What show were they on?? And you have a point about Sabrina lol. Switching gears, ofc ik you love descendants and mal and Ben in particular, who are your favs outside of the core four and why? What are your fav ships besides bal and why? And what are your biggest hopes for rise of red? I hope you have a great holiday and enjoy your gift tomorrow!! Sorry again for the miscommunication!! -gcwca secret Santa

don't worry! i was thinking you were busy or something so i didn't say anything either sdjhdhdsj i know tumblr tends to be the worst functioning website on the planet but we're all still here so i guess that says something about us

okay this is gonna be a long one buckle up

1 - they were in a show called que talento! (yes with an exclamation point) and they were basically playing themselves if they went to high school and were still amateurs lol i really liked the theme song but only the show version bc the studio version sounds awful sorry bruno i know you produced it but it sucks

2 - out of the core four (and ben) i have to say uma is a huge fav for me, probably my 3rd favorite character of the franchise. when i heard china anne mcclain was back on disney channel to play her i was sooooo excited and i can't imagine anyone better for the role. i love that she has such a strong sense of justice and community even if her ways aren't necessarily the best. obviously i love that the franchise makes sure to let us know she and mal are two sides of the same coin and if they weren't both so proud and stubborn they'd be friends, but i like that uma isn't just a carbon copy of mal like they're very much two different characters. uma is driven by collectiveness and she cares so hard about everybody it's almost aggressive and she's such a great example of leadership on the isle (as acknowledged by both ben in d2 and mal in d3 (and as a side note i'm obsessed with mal, ben and uma's dynamic and i could ramble on about it for the next 10 years but that's not the point)) and if i don't stop now this is gonna turn into a mal vs uma analysis

3 - i really really love the idea that mal and uma are exes. like to me that's just canon and no one is gonna tell me otherwise bc it doesn't contradict anything! "and how would you know, mal? you've never had [a boyfriend]" so in my head she could have dated uma idc it was probably quick and messy bc they would have this toxic power struggle which ultimately ends in mal not letting her join the gang. i think they would absolutely kill each other as a couple now bc of how similar they are but as exes? hell yeah that's a vibe

as for present day relationships i'm a fan of harry and uma getting together at some point in the future bc lbr those two are in a weird situationship lmao i also love jay and gil!!! very unexpected but jay realizing how jaded he's become after seeing the beauty of gil experiencing things with such wonder and then deciding to do a gap year so they can travel the world together is something that can actually be so personal

ALSO i'm not usually one for crackships but harry x evie had me like 👀 in d3 bc sorry wtf is this

for the record i don't think they should realistically get together, i don't think they'd work out, but the chemistry is there and for some reason kenny chose to highlight it so idk

4 - oooo so rise of red. here's the thing. i'm fully expecting this movie to be bad sdjdshjdjhsjdh i'm mostly worried about these seemingly amateur writers they got. like. even if descendants is its own little fanfiction thing let's at least try to make things coherent inside its own universe. the fact that they all went to school together defeats the purpose of beast UNITING THE KINGDOMS but well anyway let's see what they're gonna do

i like jennifer phang as a director though! she did two eps of cloak and dagger (one of which is 2x01, one of my personal favs) and the pilot of secrets of sulphur springs, so i know she's competent. and mark hofeling is coming back which is GREAT bc changing the production designer would be a terrible move for a spin-off partly set in present day. i just wish kara saun would come back to do the costumes but oh well

i'm so excited to see your gift!!!!! i hope you have a great holiday as well!!!!!!

#ask #gcwca secret santa #this was such a fun ask!!#too bad tumblr fucked us up

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shenanigans-and-imagines · 1 year ago

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Thanks so much for clarifying! I very much didn't want to push any boundaries 💜

- My choice of ship is for sure Baldur's Gate 3. (Only request: plz NOT Raphael, Mizora, or Minthara - one is legit a trauma trigger, the other two are... Reasons.)

- Gender: any and all, I'm too bi for choices

- Personality: I'm autistic, and my mood is consistently more changeable than I think it is... dunno if Sag/Leo/Cap means anything to you (it's cool if it doesn't), but it does to me in the sense that I can see what it means in myself. I'm thoroughly Chaotic Good according to every alignment description I've seen (and all my friends lol). Still a dingus who frequently courts red flags for reasons I can only identify as Traumas lmao.) I'm very mentally scattered. Burnt-out gifted kid who immediately chose to gradually swap my waning INT for WIS, inasmuch as I could. A soul who intensely wants to help everyone I care about, but can't for all sorts of reasons, but dammit do I try anyway. Fiery, feisty, but still learning to actually be assertive. Cuddly with anyone and everyone who is interested. I love radically with all my heart, be ye friend or partner, but breaking it means I'm either a sobbing broken mess, planning a murder, or both. Please don't let these taint the results bc they're still options: I honestly believe and have been told by others that I'm a perfect mix between Karlach and Astarion, personality-wise. I'm down bad for just about all the tieflings in the game/in general (I relate to them a lot), and almost always play one, but all races are welcome in my heart. I don't really draw lines between close friend and partner; I believe closeness and intimacy aren't things that should be constricted at all between one or the other (there is literally a group chat saved in my phone called "Platonicule," if that gives you an idea 😂). Generally amiable to, but wary of, strangers. Hobbies: I make homemade skincare and balms for the homies, cooking, and everything about music and linguistics. I'd also love to try my hand at ceramics/pottery someday. (Also I don't know where to put this, but definitely high sex drive, kinky, and switch/vers but usually end up sub/bottom? Which I'm not conflating, just that's usually how it plays out. Sorry that all was... A Lot lmao, I'm also overly specific/dunno when to shut up. 😅)

- I ship you with Aziraphale from Good Omens! He seems like he'd be absolutely elated to help you finish your writings, and even go out of his way to find a good publisher for your book (and maaaaaybe do a teensy little miracle to tip the scales in favor of them accepting it, if the situation called for it). Fastidious, fashionable, would be as sweet to you as you to him, and would be quite happy with letting you have your alone time (he needs it too lbr.) Also if he's not at least on the ace spectrum himself (he totally is tho), he certainly would never make unwanted advances. Plus, I mean, living in a cozy bookshop that your partner keeps clean, organized, and cute as fuck? Idk that sounds like a dream. You could chat for hours and hours about history if you so chose (and his hilariously unique perspective on it since he's seen most/all of it.) Honestly I also now can't stop thinking of a Movie Night with you two and Crowley that goes a little chaotic because Crowley has a very different and probably intentionally contrarian analysis and keeps getting half-jokingly offended when either or both of you have different opinions. There may be thrown popcorn. 😂

I ship you with Gale

Your relationship can bested be summed up in burnt out autistic "gifted" kid solidarity, in the best way possible.

You and Gale are in a constant loop of affirming your love for each other it makes the pair of you nearly impossible to be around. You info dump, you cuddle, you cook, you are just able to be, together.

Gale is also very deceptive in his chaotic good tendencies. While it may look like you're the one doing something crazy, Gale only makes a meager attempt at protest before following after and justifying your actions later. He does, however, bring some of your ideas and scattered thoughts into a sure focus, allowing you to accomplish what you actually set out to do instead of leaving it all in your head. You, meanwhile, help remind him that wisdom is sometimes more important than intelligence.

He's fully supportive of all your areas of study, even putting aside space in the tower for you to practice pottery. Just make sure to save a few pieces for him to admire and he'll be happy.

And as for the sex, let's just say for all Astarion can talk the talk, Gale walks the walk with avid enthusiasm. (He's the horniest mother fucker in the squad, fight me)

I'd honestly be nervous about making Crowley jealous somehow, but if all three of us can be besties, I'm down. Lol

6k Follower Celebration (requests are still open)

(5/30)

#6k followers #6000 follower celebration #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #aziraphale #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #good omens

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spacerockwriting · 1 year ago

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Weekly tag wednesday!

Thank you Sky @skylerwinchester @dynamic-power @energievie @stocious

which character from any media would you like to have as a father?

I don't know??? Ya spacerock's got daddy issues.

if money, laws, time, and effort were no object, what animal would you want to have?

Giraffes! They're so derp I love them.

what is your Chinese takeout order?

Idk, i don't eat much chinese food. Like, hardly ever. I mostly just eat the fortune cookies they have there.

what's your favourite emoji? Uhh, I'm loving all the ones from the gallafic club.

would you rather have a library, greenhouse, or home theater in your house?

Home theater. Film major here. Love that idea. Also, we just ironically got a green house yesterday for my dads tree obsession.

what childhood tv show do you think of the most fondly?

Hmmm. Rugrats maybe? Had a shit ton of rugrats dolls and a rugrats birthday party. Rugrats or Blues Clues probably.

what was your tumblr like when you first joined?

I've been a tumblerina for a while now. Since 11? Then in college I moved to an RP blog, with my main, and a LarryStylinson blog. Had that until mid2013 when Lance and I went to a different South Park RP, along with my main &Larry. Once we broke into Indie RP I created a few more South Park RP blogs, then once Lance passed I slowly stopped using the RP account we associated with each other. Made my HP RP in 2014 after SP shit was getting too cliquey, then just kind of sidebloged all my blogs from there for being lazy. Reattempts at SP RP had attempts, but nothing beats 2013 so -shrug- Nothing will ever beat 2012-13 where the community was there, Gallaclub is the only thing coming close <3

what clothing style do you love but don't feel compelled to replicate yourself? Super dressy maybe? I do my best to wear whatever the fuck I want but I'm just, suits and shit aren't gonna be a thing I think. Except like, my wedding if that were to happen.

if you were plopped into a fictional world, which one would you know the layout of the best?

Maybe South Park? Hogwarts, too, but lbr fuck JK.

what is your favourite piece of art?

Like ART ART? I like Van Gouh's starry night. My mom went to the interactive exhibit and I love that. (She's also got some starry night socks and stuff. Plus she had a shirt with a van on it that said van go.) I also like Andy Warhol's stuff? Also love seeing greek statues but forever anxious I'm gonna be a clumsy spacerock and knock them over.

do you have a water bottle? what does it look like?

I've got a cup i bring to work that's Disney 100 and it changes color from blue to purple in the cold. It usually has mountain dew in it. Also I have a REAL waterbottle and its got Shibas on it and counts the level of water to 2 liters. But I hoard cups, always getting souvieneer cups bc im that person.

what fanfic trope is a quiet fave?

Found family is a quiet fav, and sometimes fluff. But mostly I want angst, I want plot.

do you carry a daily bag? what does it look like? what's the weirdest thing in it?

So I carry a bag for work, which has headphones, wallet, work badge, phone, some tangles, squishy giraffe, pens, 2 books: one notebook thing and Heartstopper Volume 4 is in it, and random junk that really needs to be removed lol. Outside of work I just wallet phone the end.

if you had to ship Mickey with another Gallagher, who would it be?

Hmmm maybe Lip? Or Carl would be funny too, but the Lip and Mickey enemes would be funny.

what is a fanfic trope you didn't expect to like and then very much did?

Hmmm. I dunno. AU's maybe?

Do you think s11 Mickey can still carry s11 Ian?

Yeah, if he tries to|has too. But it's very awkward and Ian gets a kick out of him trying.

who got custody of the killing bat when they sold the house?

The OG? Probably Carl. But they all get a killing bat as a housewarming gift for the nostalia. Every house gets a Gallagher killing bat, even Fiona's house in Florida.

I'm a day late so tagging everyone else.

#comet rambles

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aylaaescar · 2 years ago

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Sidane and Morrigan: 12 and 16. Rionne and Josie: 23 and 24, please!

thank you!! 🖤

12. What struggle have they seen each other through?

there's the whole Blight, but that's a cheap answer so I will not go w that lol. okay here's one that idk if I've ever shared before, but Sidane lost their vision to an injury at the top of Fort Drakon.

(injuries/eye pain cw) a shriek was going to catch Morrigan off-guard, and Sidane just... jumped in the way. they weren't really thinking, bc if they were, they probably just would've used a magical barrier or something. but instead they panicked, and their face got clawed instead of Morrigan's head. now I'm perfectly aware that Morrigan canonically leaves after that fight if the ritual happened, buuuut it's my brain and I say that she stuck around after that, at least for a bit. it wasn't for long and might not even count for this question, tbh? but she stayed with them for a few days until they woke up, since the shriek got them badly enough that they were out of commission for the rest of the fight. Alistair was the one to get the final blow against the Archdemon.

16. How do they react when the other is upset? How do they try to help?

I won't lie to you, I feel like they're BOTH bad at this, at least initially lol. Morrigan grew up w friggin Flemeth as her role model, so I doubt she has any good examples to follow? Sidane is a liiiiittle better, since they have Jowan, their sister Perry, and best friend Ramori, so there's experience there in comforting others even if they're not the best at it. but Morrigan? nah. I feel like she doesn't know how to handle that at first, but learns as time goes on.

tbh they probably just kind of give the other space, at least in the beginning of their relationship? neither of them know what to do but don't want to make it worse, so they'll just leave the other be. but that changes when they start to fall for each other; Morrigan is a bit harder for me to pin down in how she'd comfort them, aside from spending time w them and listening to them vent. Sidane, on the other hand, tries to make Morrigan feel better by leaving a pretty flower or two in her tent, or on her things. historically they've always been a casual hook-up sort of person, they don't have experience with actual romantic feelings, but plenty of novels say that flowers are a good gift, right? they're trying. give them both some time in their relationship to not be as awkward with FEELINGS.

Josie/Rionne

23. What was their first impression of each other?

was Josie there when the Inquisitor was unconscious after popping out of the Fade? if yes, then I'd imagine she was probably curious as well as cautious? they just survived a huge disaster and they have that glowing arm now, so I think I'd feel the same way. if not, I think Josie might have thought Rionne was impressive and brave for how she'd sealed the Rift, but was also... kind of chilly? which isn't wrong, bc Rionne IS a chilly person in general - that just gets amplified when she's a Dalish mage surrounded by human Chantry members who seem to think she's a prophet for their religion. Rionne didn't enjoy her time at Haven, lbr.

on Rionne's end, she was initially suspicious (as she was with everybody), until Josephine greeted her in elvish. for Rionne, it was the first time anybody at Haven had treated her with respect; praising her for the Rift or being their Herald set her on edge at the least and irritated her at worst, because she had no choice in the former and she outright denied the latter every chance she got. so Rionne kind of decided that she had a soft spot for Josie from word go, haha.

24. How did they fall for each other?

would it be corny to say just by being themselves? 🖤 okay less corny, I think it happened just as they got to know and understand each other. they're both hardworking women who put their families (Lavellan and Montilyet) first, so much of what they do is for the people they love and there was a real solidarity that came with that. Josephine is caring and compassionate, gives Rionne cuddles while respecting her asexuality. she knows that sometimes Rionne's just going to be prickly, or not touchy-feely, and it doesn't mean that she's any less loving than she was yesterday. Rionne went out of her way multiple times to help Josephine with her family, and outright dueled somebody else so Josie wouldn't have to marry a stranger. lots of little things and big things adding up to a nice picture.

#ask tag #userbread #DA blogging #OTP: Caring For You Was Not Part of the Plan #OC: Sidane Amell #OTP: Who We Are For Love #OC: Rionne Lavellan #(I have to go back to work but I'll change your tag later if I got it wrong shgkdbf)#I don't talk about these pairs as much but 🖤🖤🖤 love them

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padfootastic · 3 years ago

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WAIT I had another thought about the "show me the thing you're not supposed to have" post you reblogged: godfather Sirius is great, but consider GRANDFATHER Sirius. Harry and Ginny have said no to some toy that James Sirius wants, but that's okay, Grandad Sirius will buy it for him anyway :)

no but miss imp i had the exact same thought literally ten minutes after the rb!!! we absolutely cannot forget papa sirius.

i’m thinking partners in crime jem and sirius; james sirius growing up knowing that sirius is almost always putty in his hands when it comes to things like gifts and cuddles and animals just as his parents have a chronic inability to get mad at sirius which makes for a very favourable situation for little jemmy. so he gets pretty good at playing them against each other (and lbr, even after sirius finds out about his extortionist antics, he’s too impressed/amused to do anything but keep indulging him)

“No, James, you just got a Quidditch simulator for your birthday, which was three weeks ago, might I add, and we’d like for you to wait before you get anything else,” Mummy said. One of her eyebrows was higher than the other and her mouth looked like it was in a straight line and James knew that she wouldn’t change her mind anytime soon. He turned to Daddy but quickly discarded that idea when he looked at his face. Clearly, they were in a tag-team mood.

That’s okay, because James had something in mind. So he smiled and ran forward to hug Mummy around the waist. “Okay!” She ruffled his hair quickly and with one quick hug from his Daddy, James walked out of the room with a plan quickly forming in his head.

“—and and and it’s twenty seven players and thirty broomsticks and—“

“Why do you needs three extra brooms, kiddo?” Papa asked with a glint in his eye.

“So you can repace one if it gets hurt, Papa!” James answered with a giggle before continuing his well rehearsed sales pitch. “And it has the best costume and they can fly four feet high, which is like, one whole feet more than the sima- the simu- sim-lator and it’s so cool and—“

“Slow down, babe, you don’t need to make yourself faint,” Papa cut in. “Take a breath, enjoy that sweet, sweet oxygen, and let me take care of this. You’re too young to have any problems or those wrinkles on your face.” He smoothed a playful hand over James’ brow and he smiled toothily at the man, knowing his plan had worked out perfectly, just as intended.

“Sirius!” Harry had his hands on his hips, an exasperated moue to his lips, and a resigned look on his green eyes. Sirius was thoroughly enjoying this. “There was a reason we didn’t want James to have the damn thing.”

“I know.”

“He literally just got the biggest, most expensive, toy in the whole store not a month ago. The thing’s barely even out of its packaging and the way you keep going on, I fear it’ll never be.”

“Harry, you know it’s my solemn duty to get jemmy whatever his little sneak heart desires,” Sirius said, grinning. Jem had been ecstatic to receive the fruits of his hard earned labor and the tight hug he’d got in return had been more than enough compensation for Sirius to deal with the inevitable tongue lashing (or, well, attempted tongue lashing) he’d receive later when his actions were discovered.

His godson’s brows furrowed in confusion. “…sneak heart?” He had a ‘do i even wanna know’ expression on his face, one Sirius was very familiar with considering all the antics he!d gotten up to with his grandbabies in the past few years, and it never became any less amusing.

“God, Harry, I don’t know how you created such an adorable child—must be the James in you—but he really thought he could trick me into thinking he wanted me to buy it because I’m his favorite and not because you two had said no already.” The sight of his little grandkid, coming through his door with a serious, determined frown and a barely-concealed pout on his face was still clear in his mind. Sirius knew he should at least make an attempt to reign in this behaviour, but could he really be blamed when he had to go up against such a formidably adorable opponent?

“You are his favorite,” Harry countered, a little petulantly, and Sirius finally let himself smile indulgently. Damn right he was.

#james sirius potter #sirius black #good grandfather sirius black #everyone thinks it’s james the first name/spirit or first child syndrome that makes JS kinda arrogant #but they’re wrong. it’s actually sirius black #the kid doesn’t even need to open his mouth before he gets what he wants on a silver platter #like sirius is just so enamoured by everything that kid does #and his attempts to be a baby slytherin are noted but not countered #ginny: ‘control ur godfather harry’#harry: *latest broomstick in hand courtesy sirius* uh…what?#(dw ginny gets a matching pair too)#sirius just *cannot* help himself he’s so fkn gone for the potters ok?#also baby povs are weird. and a little hard.#tumblr works #pen’s writing

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idealisticrealism · 2 years ago

Text

TCL 2x03 recap

Oh boy these just keep getting longer lol. So many thoughts about 2x03 (and especially Armony, of course) under the cut.

Also, while I know a tiny bit about the direction of this season, I'm doing my best to stay as spoiler free as I can, so any discussion about future eps or plotlines in this recap are purely just my own speculation.

Oh god Thony holding Luca and crying as she explains again that Marco isn’t coming back… sure, show, just completely crush my heart, it’s not like I needed it anyway or anything

Fi and Arman should have a mop-breaking competition lol

Ughh all these ladies supporting each other and having fun together, this is what it’s all about! We so rarely get to see Thony truly smile (the Reloj dance scene was one of the very notable occasions…) so it’s so nice then it happens. Also Fi and Thony (Or maybe Martha and Elodie?) seem to have this little shoulder shrugging dance move they do (it was the same in 1x01) and I love it??

Arman and Robert both run clubs in Vegas and have never met before? Clearly one or both of them must have been working hard to avoid it… Also man if I didn’t hate Robert already for how he treated Thony, I would have started to dislike him by now purely because of how tense he makes my boy Arman lol. The imagery of them facing each other from opposite sides with Nadia in between was a nice touch tho

Ugh so much to love about this scene. Thony getting to use her doctor skills, Fi absolutely annihilating Alonzo, Thony being all proud of her sis and having her back, the ladies all sticking together, and of course, “Chop chop, Alonzo” :P

Poor Fi panicking after realising that she really can’t go back and that she is now responsible for the others who quit with her, but Thony is all cool and ‘we got this’-- lbr she’s known that they’ve been heading towards this for a while. Also her telling Vinny off was kind of hot– and he probably agrees! Let's face it, he probably has a thing for Thony lol (but then again who doesn’t???)

Oh wow they’re really selling off everything? I’m intrigued by the ring– @enigmaticfox suggested that it might have been the first big gift he bought for her after they ‘made it’ and became able to live the life they wanted to live, and so it was a symbol of that dream being achieved? Also while I actually prefer when the show doesn’t give us subtitles, I’m definitely over here side-eyeing the very clear decision that the writers made to a) make sure we knew that Nadia told him she loved him, and b), not to have him say it back to her…. (of course he does love her, but I’m just saying, there was definitely a narrative choice made there)

Excuse me but Arman has no right to be this hot?? The image of him standing in the doorway in that black tshirt, all cool and confident as he casually threatens Garrett’s life is going to live in my head rent free for approximately forever lol. “All I need is one” oh lord help me

Poor Thony can’t catch a break when it comes to Luca lol. But oh man medical scenes in tv are the worst, like nope that’s not what meds you’d use, that’s not how you pronounce that word, that’s not how you do that… there’s definitely a reason why I can’t watch hospital shows lol. But anyway I love the repeated commentary about how broken the US medical system is; this show definitely isn’t shy about getting its message across

Ngl, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about the kind of reunion scene that these two would likely have, and while the scene I’d been wishing they could have was quite different (I’ll fic it one day lol; it involves significantly more hugging haha) this actually was quite close to what I expected they would have– a lot of staring at each other and speaking in soft voices, but held back from anything more by the situation they’re in. And while the scene is simple and brief, honestly I think there’s a lot to like about it? Like the way their voices sound when they greet each other– it’s not the ‘oh hey I wasn’t expecting to see you’ kind of surprised tone that someone uses when they run into a friend unexpectedly, but more of a ‘I’ve been hoping to see you so badly and now you’re suddenly here in front of me and I don’t know what to say’. I love the tiny little pause after she says hey where they just stare at each other– it’s short, but still just long enough to be noticeable, just like the distance they’re standing at is just a little closer than what even most friends would– the magnetism is definitely real here, kids. Also something this scene made me realise is that Thony often crosses her arms when she and Arman are standing close to each other, but there’s nothing defensive or uncomfortable in it; I may be going off the fangirl rails here but I feel like the habit formed because she always wants to reach out to him but can’t let herself. But anyhow he makes it clear to her that despite already having plans, he will put them aside for her if she wants him to, and ugh when she agrees to the drink he immediately reaches for her, like he can’t keep himself from touching her any longer?? And then his hand just… lingers? Like okay, to touch her back for a moment as they turn would absolutely make sense, it’s a totally normal and common ‘come this way’ gesture. But instead he just keeps it there, keeping them connected as they walk into his club together in full view of any patrons and staff, all but claiming her as someone of significance to him. I also love her “You look-” (slight pause) “-better” lol, like she was almost about to say “You look good” and then decided that that would be a little too close to the truth of what she was thinking lol. It’s also interesting that in that moment, with her there beside him and his hand on her back, it’s the most at ease he’s looked all episode; while she looks like she’s practically holding her breath lol, like his touch and proximity is sending her nerves haywire. Or maybe that’s just me making shit up again! But either way, I loved this scene, even if it was a short and subtle moment. Couldn’t help but chuckle at him telling her he feels free though; between his debt to Robert and his obligation to Nadia, he’s practically as trapped as he was in prison. But I guess that for this one brief moment with Thony there beside him, he can forget about all of that :P

Ngl I love that they sat down and had a drink together in the bar, rather than going to his office– like being alone together would be too much of a temptation, too hard to keep the distance they need to keep, so they simply avoid it. She’s not long lost her husband, and he’s trying to save his wife from being condemned to a life of barely scraping by, and they’re both all too aware of it, and so each is holding back on behalf of the other. Also there’s just something about how the act of drinking involves hands and lips and ugh idk man, it feels like a bit of a proxy kind of thing to me rn lol. I will say that I need the show to stop chopping out chunks of their interactions though– seriously, stop leaving gaps that I feel compelled to fill, dammit-- but I assume he asked her how she was doing after the funeral etc, and maybe she even tactfully mentioned hearing about Hayak and asked how he was doing? And then of course he asks about Luca, and the moment she says she needs help you can immediately see that he’s going to give it, no matter what it involves. The man may be a big bad mobster but he’s also the world’s biggest simp when it comes to Thony haha. I honestly love that over the course of S1, she became more and more comfortable with going to him for help, as he steadily proved to her that she could rely on him and that he’d be there for her when she needed it. I also love how she pauses and puts down her drink when he mentions the military supplier, then asks him outright about the guns– she’s never been shy about calling him out on his shit, even when they barely knew each other and she was definitely stepping over a line– but this feels different, like she has a right to question his actions, like his decisions now involve her too. While early S1 Arman would have brushed her off, and late S1 Arman might have reassured her he knew what he was doing and that she should just trust him, this Arman immediately lays it all out for her, being completely honest about the situation he’s in and why he has to do what he’s doing, because it’s clearly important to him that she understands. And he makes it clear that he needs the money to be free of Robert, but honestly there might be another unspoken truth there too– that without the money, he can’t be free of Nadia, either. He has too much honour to abandon her to fend for herself, so if they lose everything he’ll stick with her no matter what, because he cares about her and it’s the right thing to do. And then ugh his face as Thony offers him up a solution for escaping his debt– a partnership, with her– but he’s afraid to take it. It’d mean venturing into the unknown, taking a gamble that could fail and leave him with nothing, and hmmmm I wonder if this is making him think of any other kind of risky venture involving Thony that he desperately wants to take?? There’s for sure some layers going on here, man. But anyhow ugh I gotta stop here because otherwise i will just rewatch this scene all night lol

Some random notes about the bar set, though: I don’t like the red lighting, reminds me too much of Robert’s place. Also I was sure those booths must be a new addition to the set but no they’ve been there all along (I checked 1x03 lol). And lastly why would they have the doors to the kitchen open when there’s clearly customers in the club?? These are the things I obsess about lol

Fi having trouble finding customers for their business makes me stressed, but ugh I loved seeing her grinning at their sign on the van. This woman deserves the world. Also ngl I kind of enjoy Mr Motel Manager? He’s such a caricature lol, and I know he’ll be taken care of soon enough. Also “You have until the end of the week” is very vague– end of the business week, or the weekend? What time?? How about you be more clear with your blackmailing, buddy??

Of course Thony tries to be logical about it– she’s spent enough time around criminals lately to have an idea of how their minds work– and I appreciate knowing that she actually did check for security cameras that night and didn’t just miss this big obvious camera that was pointed right at the four of them lol. But anyway she’s in a fresh shirt and she’s already going to pick up the meds that Arman managed to get for her– has it been a couple days, or is it literally just the next morning after their conversation?? I can imagine him working that fast for her. (Also did he text her or call her to tell her he got them? I need to know these things, show!) And lol at Fiona ordering her not to tell Arman about the blackmail; lbr we all know that talking to him about it was literally the first thing she was going to do. I’ve already said that I love that she goes to him about almost everything, but I really hope that this season we can see him needing her more, and her supporting him like he does for her. Based on some of the vague things said in interviews I think I might get that wish :P

Taking the matchbox was so unnecessary Garrett. You really can’t remember two words?? I like this other agent though, mostly because he has joined the ranks of the Garrett-draggers lol

Ugh poor Nadia trying to be all cool and tough for Arman’s benefit and then immediately dropping the act when he tells her how dire the situation really is. I am honestly really enjoying seeing more layers to her (even though liking her as a character makes my level of Armony shipping feel a little awkward haha) and I really do think they have a pretty amazing relationship. They have always had a different vibe to Armony– Armony is soulmate-level romantic, two people from vastly different lives who just fit each other and make each other better– whereas Arman and Nadia have always seemed more like bickering siblings, or comrades-in-arms. Their connection is based on a shared background, shared history, and shared drive; like Arman said, they both came from nothing and had dreams of becoming something, and for the last however many years, they have been a team in that goal. There’s absolutely love there, and attraction of course (how could there not be, they’re both smoking hot) and they would have likely remained together forever-- bickering and fighting and likely sleeping with other people, but also supporting each other and being each other’s person-- except then Arman met Thony, and it opened his eyes to the kind of connection he’d never even realised he could have. And yet, even so, he’s prepared to give up the very thing he wants so desperately– to give Thony up– because Nadia needs him, and he can’t abandon her, not like this. And honestly that choice will probably make Thony fall even more in love with him– bc seriously, imagine if he dropped Nadia right now (when their situation is so completely desperate) to try to be with Thony instead???? Thony would be like “nah man, I may be completely in love with you but I can’t be with someone who would turn his back on his family like that”. It would have been different if things were still as they were at the end of S1– if Arman had gotten safely out of jail with all the money still in their hands, then Nadia could have been given a sizeable chunk of it as well as the option to run part of the business, so she was still able to live the life she wanted to lead; if that had happened, then him leaving her to be with Thony would have actually been a genuine possibility. Still complicated and emotional and messy, but far more acceptable to all three of them than the situation they’re in now.

But anyway I’m getting distracted again. I’m honestly impressed that he said the medicine was for Thony, rather than hiding behind the idea that it’s for Luca, but I guess he feels he owes it to Nadia to be as honest as possible now, especially after her calling him out in the past for lying to her repeatedly about Thony. That’s growth, I guess? He doesn’t look like he’s enjoying it rn though haha. Gotta say I love this argument though– they both know that Thony has a hold on him, and hearing Nadia call her his cleaning lady rather than ‘a’ or ‘the’ cleaning lady was oddly satisfying. Ngl I was half expecting her to say something like ‘your little girlfriend’ or something instead though, and maybe that was where his mind went too, because he immediately countered by calling her out on her going to her ex boyfriend lol. (Oh so you equate your connection to Thony with Nadia’s connection to someone she was once in love with? Interesting, Arman, very interesting.) Anyway bit unfair of her to claim that it was just her that got him out of jail– literally, neither woman could have done it without the other, which kind of symbolises how important they both are in Arman’s life– but I’ll forgive her bc she’s having a rough couple of weeks lol. Tbh I’m glad he gave her a hug, though I’m even more glad that that wasn’t the moment that Thony arrived at the office lol. She doesn’t need to be reminded that she’s fallen for a man who [she thinks] she can never have.

Speaking of Thony’s arrival, though, I love that she doesn’t hold back around either of them now; she all but tells them to get their grubby mitts off the medicine, and shuts them down cold at the suggestion of selling street drugs. Hell, she even has Nadia moving out of her way as she packs up the meds. And lol at Arman caught in the middle, trying to balance both women’s agendas as he gets pressured by Nadia and berated by Thony hahaha. We all know who’s really calling the shots here, and it ain’t our boy. But oh wow Thony is 100% lying through her teeth about the regular medicines making as much profit as addictive street drugs– especially when her whole plan was to sell the medicines to people who couldn’t afford to get them in the US. She’d be having to sell HUGE numbers of those medicines to make a good profit, unless she wanted to charge poor immigrants through the nose for them (which, like I said, was the opposite to her plan), whereas the street value of Oxy or Xanax would be about $20 and $5 per pill respectively (it’s generally around $50 and $10 here, but I’m just making a rough guess of what it would be in USD lol). I can’t imagine that she doesn’t know this, which means she is taking the gamble that they’ll just take her word for it and follow her plan instead. And while they do seem to, I could definitely see Nadia and Arman actually going behind her back and secretly using their supply line to get and sell street drugs– because of the dire money situation they’re in– and then Thony later finds out (most likely right when she and Arman are getting closer again) and that betrayal temporarily drives a wedge between her and Arman. But who knows. What I do know is that I love the imagery of Arman standing in the middle of the two women who are almost like mirrors of each other– both with a hand on the hip, but with Nadia’s other hand on the desk and Thony’s on the box of meds. Ugh the symbolismmm. The fact that Arman is looking at Thony as he says ‘together’ is just fine by me too lol

Excuse me, how dare this scene just start with the two of them just standing together waiting for Bosco?? I’ve seen the clip on twitter of him getting out of the caddy and Thony watching him with literally the thirstiest look we’ve ever seen from her (same, girl, same) and now it turns out that they freakin cut it??? I feel robbed. I need to see that moment, just like I need to know what they were talking about while they were standing there waiting. (Again, stop making me want to fic it, goddammit). Also I would like to point out that Thony has her arms crossed again (and he’s fiddling with his sunglasses)-- it really is so hard for you two to not be allowed to touch each other, huh?

I would like to make it known right now that I love Bosco. I wasn’t sure about him in 1x06– he did put Thony in the back of the van, after all, but he also seemed serious when he promised Arman he would take care of her– but now i am definitely a fan. Firstly he got significantly hotter (phew, that haircut and that smile suit you, sir), but I also just love him teasing Arman about basically being whipped by Thony lol. I would say he’s absolutely right, but honestly, Thony doesn’t even need to do any whipping. Arman legit just throws himself at her feet without any prompting whatsoever haha. Also speaking of looking hot– holy shit, Arman in that black tshirt and jeans, grinning at his friend?? Help me jesus. And that low sound he makes as he waves off Bosco’s hand????? Poor Thony’s gonna get heatstroke at any moment, and not from the desert sun lol. I love that he makes sure to signal to her to come with him as they head for the van, not leaving her there wondering what she should do or to just trail along awkwardly behind them. And then he lets her take the lead with the meds, both him and Bosco treating her as the expert. I am so happy that my TV is good enough to see the brief little smile on his face at her reaction to seeing the meds for Luca, because oh my heartttt. And then he immediately thanks Bosco for making her happy his help lol. Ngl the fact that the riskiness of doing this under Sin Cara’s nose has already been mentioned twice makes me worry for Bosco though…. They better not kill my boy Bosco just as I got attached to him lol

Oh Vinny for sure has the hots for Thony lol. And very understandable when she’s being all badass businesswoman/doctor like this lol. I still can’t see the clinic as being particularly lucrative, but I love that she’s doing it. Also I know I say this like every week but damn this soundtrack is good??

Yikes, like I said, not lucrative enough. 58k short even after selling thousands of dollars worth of jewellery and a car or two? What the hell will they do for next week’s payment, sell a kidney each? (Or some street drugs, maybe….?). Also definitely intrigued by the way Nadia was staring at thony– what ideas is she cooking up in that gorgeous head? (again, street drugs? lol) Also having her standing directly between Thony and Arman in the shot… more symbolism, or?

From one money counter to another. I love that Thony kept aside the 10k for Fi, and let’s be fair, handing it over wouldn’t have solved Arman’s problem, so I think it’s valid for her to be like ‘he’ll figure it out’ lol. He has Nadia to work as a team with; she has Fi. They both have to be loyal to their team right now. And sigh Thony again tries to be smart about it but Fi won’t listen, and you can see that Thony has simply decided to just support Fi no matter what, even if it’s not the best way to handle it. She’s slowly learning that she has to give up a bit of control now and then and just be there for the people who need her, even if she disagrees with them. How's that for character growth.

I wonder if these women ever think about how weird their life has gotten, considering they have a mob boss on speed dial and an FBI agent who is starting to become a regular visitor at their door lol. I did suspect Garrett might bring in Thony to help him with Maya, but ugh I don’t like that he knows about Fi getting out the money. Good thing the dude has zero issue with rule breaking– for a man who claims to be on the side of the law, he sure ignores it a lot of the time. Which lbr is very fortunate for Thony, so I’m cool with it lol (ngl, getting real over his deportation threats though)

I find it like unreasonably irritating that the sign for The Clergy uses a cross to represent both an H and an L lol. I am now reading it as The Chergy haha. Also damn I was pumped to see Thony in goth wear, but ah well, I’m still into this outfit (undoubtedly borrowed from Fi). I know we’re definitely going to see Thony more dressed up at some point in this season, and the important thing is Arman being there to see it haha, so I guess we can skip it for now. Also ngl the concept of bathroom attendants makes me so uncomfortable but damn that was a genius move on her part, and I love that she canonically has the most sensibly stocked handbag ever lol

Ugh I feel for my boy Arman, this shit with Robert is clearly killing him. And then to be forced to basically be Robert’s errand boy? Must feel like he’s fallen a long way, almost right back to where he started. I liked Nadia reaching for his hand, checking in with him, but ngl it was satisfying to see him kind of brush it off haha

Wait what room is this?? An ensuite off of Fi’s room? This is truly an excessive amount of mirrors (and sinks!) lol

I so badly want Thony to get hit on by at least one woman in this bar lol. (It’s been far too long since her blatant popularity at Nadia’s party in 1x01 lol). But I guess I’ll have to content myself with the fact that she and Maya have more chemistry in this bathroom scene than either woman has had in any scene with Garrett hahaha. But oh Thony you really fell for that old fake name trick? Lol. BUT OKAY HOLD UP. “Who sent you? Was it Kamdar?” Holy shit. Not Cortez, KAMDAR. I did not see that coming, and oh man everything just got real incestuous all of a sudden– so Garrett has asked Thony (a person of interest in his current case) to check on his ex, who is caught up with a drug ring (which was his old case), a ring which apparently involves Robert, who happens to be Nadia’s ex, and who has now forced Arman (and by extension, Thony) into doing business with him. Damn, that is one tangled web and I am honestly really excited about it?? Also oooh if Arman and Nadia do what I suspect and start selling street drugs, then Robert will be sure to find out and get pissed off, and that would be one way for Thony to find out about it. Man I would actually love to see that, as upsetting as the ensuing Armony fight would be. For now though I really hope that Thony mentions her suspicions about Kamdar to Arman, but given that that would require explaining the Garrett angle (and we all know how Arman responds whenever Garrett is mentioned haha) maybe she won’t. Speaking of Garrett, Maya’s line about him not sending people like Thony into places they shouldn’t be definitely gives a little insight into Maya’s own experience as a CI…

Ugh Arman really needs to tone down the sexy gangster vibe a little, that leather jacket makes it very hard for me to focus. Also the “Are you seriously going to hit an old man?” and “I’ve done worse”-- okay I immediately want to hear about every single instance of those worse things lol. For… reasons. Gotta hand it to this incredibly vanilla-looking son though lol, not only did he manage to sneak up on Arman (that’s a bit of a stretch tbh) but he legit took him on with a tennis racquet?? I kind of respect that haha. And ngl I enjoy how swiftly and perfunctorily Arman neutralises him, like this is just another day in the office. Just saying though, that oxygen tubing would have for sure snapped under that kind of strain lol. It is not exactly designed to be hardy stuff. But ugh the look on Arman’s face as the son runs to get the money, my poor boy hates having to do this :(

They really highlighted the ‘you are on camera’ sign in this motel office lol. Which means thony was on camera when she went in there that night, and now Fi is on camera too… and a lot of other people, apparently? lol. Also other than being a creepy perv, the amount of animal heads on the walls also immediately makes me like this guy even less…

Okay Nadia being really into football is very hot haha. And oooh I love that as Arman walked in with the money, hating what he’d been forced to do, he would have seen Nadia and Robert smiling and sharing a drink at the bar. No wonder he threw the money down like that and practically dragged her out of there haha, like he didn't give up his closeness with Thony just for Nadia to cozy up with Robert!

Oh Fiona. If there was an award for making bad decisions, you’d definitely be in the running lol. And oh the naivete of thinking he’d delete the video… and of trying to threaten him with going to the cops about him filming customers, when that very footage would get Chris caught for Marco’s manslaughter? Oh honey. The physical struggle was hard to watch but omg that crack over the head and that scream?? Comedy gold haha. Poor woman just cannot catch a break lately (nor can any of our faves, tbh.) And now I guess we wait for next week to see if he’s actually dead (if so, wow, the felonies just keep piling up for this family lol) or if she just caused him to have a very impromptu nap lol. Either way, can't wait to see Arman come and rescue her and earn some points as her future brother in law lol

#The Cleaning Lady #Armony #TCL recaps #oh lord what have I done

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satbiym · 5 years ago

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Things that make me go Feral about WangXian

1. Yes, while the most beautiful person in Gusu and love at first fight thing is amazing, what gets me, what really gets me about Wangxian is that they each think the other is the best, most good person they've ever met.

And same for Lan Wangji!!!! The thing that tipped him over the edge, the fact that kept him going through the “come back to Gusu with me” era and the 13 years of mourning and regretting that followed, was the deep-seated belief in WWX's innate goodness and WWX always choosing to do good.

I think the reason the 13 years of regret were extra painful was because deep down he did believe that Wei Ying had a reason for doing everything that he did. The 13 years were spent regretting not that Wei Wuxian died, but that he died believing that everyone thought he had been irrevocably corrupted and was evil.

So, when Wei Wuxian came back, Lan Wangji stood by him, not because he loved him, but because he had left behind that urge to fully know Wei Wuxian’s reasons for doing what he was doing and was content to put and show his faith in Wei Wuxian.

2. They are each other's favourite person and can see their soul reflected in the other's eyes, oh god, i am crying

And, call me silly but I think “I like you” is so much more powerful than “I love you” in any relationship. The fact that both Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji like and love each other, are each other’s favourite people in the world and respect one another?

I need a moment.

And if you think of all the other relationships in MDZS, of any flavor - familiar, platonic, romantic - sure, everyone loves one another, but do they truly like them? Do they truly respect them?

Yes, love is miraculous, but liking someone? that’s a choice.

A choice Wangxian happily make, every day.

3. They are the only 2 people in each other's leagues - they are truly equals and well matched.

And yes, I am a sucker for the unstoppable force, immovable object metaphor, are you truly still surprised??

Now, since we’re on the subject - the thing about unstoppable force, immovable object """"paradox""""" is this underlying assumption that these two should and will fight.

But… What if they don't?

What if there is no need for each to prove themselves the victor over the other?

What if they just band together and become the world's best power couple????? what then, Karen?????????????

4. Both LWJ and WWX would rather not profess their love, more than happy to stay in the other's life and support the other and see them happy even if it's not with themselves.

IMHO, the question I would ask every time when it comes to ascertaining love - is staying platonically by their side enough?? Or do they have to be with you for you to want to stay by their side?

Because, if you love them, shouldn’t just being around them be enough? Isn’t their company and happiness enough? Why must your love need to be this destructive, almost performative, overly dramatic, raze the earth kind of event?

Why is friendship lesser than romance?

Wangxian's is a soft love. A love which is matured, where just being around the other (which is how you fell in love with them lbr) is enough of a gift to you and anything else would be a cherry on top of an already amazing cake - amazing but not necessary to enjoy the cake.

quick aside: Friendships solely as a precursor to romance or friendships that are to aid/prime for the eventual romance are mercenary in motive and tbh a motive that is disqualifying for any kind of relationship.

5. I love how much Lan Wangji indulges Wei Wuxian and is overt and publicly unashamed and proud about his love.

Neither would choose to hide their love for the other, because to them, regardless of what the world thinks, their relationship is something they don’t mind being seen as soft for.

6. Wangxian gives the other the benefit of doubt, trusts them are and are on the other’s side. Trusting, not blindly, but because they believe in the other's personality and inherent goodness.

7. Just... Lan Wanji and Wei Wuxian having someone they can trust to have their back, someone who is competent and that they respect. Someone who they don't have to worry about protecting one-sidedly, but someone who can protect them in return.

Wangxian knowing: whatever happens, we can face it together.

And conversely,

Someone with whom they are safe, emotionally, mentally and physically. Not needing to pretend they are someone they aren’t, someone they can let down their facade with and not have to worry about judgement.

Wangxian thinking of the other as part of their own soul. You don’t need to worry about pretending to not hurt, to not laugh, to not be strong, when it’s just you alone, so why must you have to worry about pretending when you’re with your soulmate - the person who has seen you at your highest and lowest and still sees you and respects you and likes you and loves you?

8. They just… like each other’s company and laugh together and delight in, and have the best time with, each other and are each other’s favourite person and I am crying

Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian when together just constantly being charmed and delighted and oh, I like you so much

ah soft love is my achilles heel.

9. How protective they are of each other, even from words and negative emotions - insult me, that’s fine, but don’t insult my favourite person

10. this kind of love feels… revolutionary

#mdzs #wangxian #cql #chen qing ling #the untamed #mo dao zu shi #myfics #mymeta #mypost #revolutionary love

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kangaroo-sniper-imagine · 4 years ago

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Scout, Demo, and Sniper with inexperienced reader

- i combined these two cuz they both had the Aussie on them. NS/FW stufff ahead so caution -

Scout

Jeremy may act like he’s God’s gift to women, but let’s be honest, aside from some trysts and a girlfriend he had for three weeks in the tenth grade, homeboy ain’t got no experience either

He wants so badly to be a good boyfriend! He tries so hard to be nice and to be a gentleman to you, often times putting on such a fake persona that you have to remind him that you like Jeremy because he’s a loud, fast-talking jack ass from south Boston. Not those words exactly, but you get the idea

Tries the classic dates like fancy restaurants and romantic movies, but chances are if you liked Jeremy enough to date him, you probably hate that stuff too. Good dates are outing to parks, watching action movies, going to bars, etc. fun, not stuffy dates.

NS/FW

Jeremy has SOME idea of what he’s doing, but its more so getting himself off than trying to get his partner off. It takes some re-learning on his part to figure out that sex is supposed to be mutually fun. If he suck at it, tell him! Boy needs to learn!

He gets that you have almost no experience, and that just adds to the pressure for him; he’s already so insecure and this is just another are he has the potential to disappoint you in. First time together is gonna be real awkward and slow, as neither of you wanna fuck up

After the two of you get more experienced with each other, oooooooooh boy, Jeremy is insatiable. Partially because he’s never had a steady s/o who lived in the same building as him. He is always dtf; like, come in while he’s regaining one of his (dramatized) wins, give him a “look” and he’ll stop talking mid-sentence and follows you to wherever for a quickie

Jeremy’s favorite position is probably doggy style. He gets to give all his love and also gets to hide his face of he starts to feel embarrassed; its easier to have the macho sex god persona if his partner can’t see his face all flushed and pinched in concentration

Demo

Tavish has had plenty of date mates, but when he starts his relationship with you and learns that he is your first ever boyfriend? Fuck, it might as well be his first relationship too (the Scotsman is soft lbr). He knows that each relationship is different from another, even minusculy, but since you have no reference point, he’s gonna start from square one and work your way up to normal relationship things

By that I mean this man has, like, an itinerary. Week one: holding hands, Week two: eating meals together, etc. Tav is THOROUGH! He wants you doing lame couple things and wants you to be comfortable with them asap. He’s like one of those high school girls who are like “we need to be dating for six months before we can kiss.” It’s not that he isn’t ready, he just wants to make sure you are

Dates with him are weird and varied. One night he takes you to a nice bar, the next date is helping him set off about to expire explosives. A very lovely evening of him playing piano with you, then it’s Loch Ness Monster hunting. Suffice to say that your dates are never boring.

NS/FW

Tavish sets the relationship at a slow pace so that you’ll feel comfortable; introducing sex into the relationship is no different. He’ll let you know when he’s comfortable with it and is fine waiting until you are ready for it and won’t do jack shit without your permission.

When you are ready, be prepared for the cheesiest seduction ever. You’ll walk into Tavish’s room one day and there’s a trail of rose petals leading to the bed where the Scotsman lays, naked, with a rose between his teeth and a heart shaped pillow covering his junk; candles EVERYWHERE. It takes every ounce of willpower not to laugh (plz laugh, Tavish is trying so hard to make you relax before doing the do)

Despite the fact that the man likes his drink, Tavish refuses to fuck drunk. Sleeping with you is an honor, and he 1. Doesn’t wanna not remember it, 2. Doesn’t want to do something dumb while he’s drunk and hurt you, 3. Doesn’t wanna do something embarrassing in front of the gang while trying to seduce you. He’s a good boy who knows better

Sniper

Mick has had plenty of short term date mates, considering his job keeps him moving around. Before Teufort, he never bothered trying to keep a serious relationship because he would be gone by the end of the month. Then our favorite Aussie meets YOU and the whole game plan changed. He couldn’t be a “love ‘em and leave ‘em” man anymore, and he didn’t want to be with you. You’re special

Mick’s not 100% sure exactly what dating him would entail. You two go out to the local bar to drink, you spend your meals and down time together, you haven’t moved into the truck camper yet but you sure do spend a ton of nights there. Mick doesn’t have domestic experience so he tries to do what his parents do and what they told him to do, so it’s a lot of laundry together, movie nights at the local drive-in, reading the same book and talking about it, etc. Mick skipped right into the “old married life” kind of relationship

The Aussie is happy to take things slow with you, considering THIS kind of relationship is new to him too. You’re a special person the Mick wants to keep in his life

NS/FW

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAABES, I KNOW everyone’s like “oh, Sniper is an awkward loner with social issues” but listen darlings; Mick is a businessman, he used to have to talk to tins of people to get jobs; had to have connections, had to be charismatic, he to be willing to hang out in seedy bars and joints to eat gigs. What I’m saying is, aside from Spy, Sniper is probably the one who can manipulate the room to his advantage best, cuz he’s been doing it since he started. The point of this rant is to say SNIPER CAN GET IT! Homeboy’s got tail game! You cannot change my mind! He’s probably had more quickies than a rabbit hutch; he’s attractive as hell and knows how to talk to people to get what he wants and how to clock people at the bar who wants to get laid too! He came, he saw, he didn’t call he next morning. Okay end of rant and back to the original purpose of this point

So! Mick has plenty of sexual experience, and rather than see you as some sort of delicate flower, he sees it more as an opportunity to let you experiment ON him. Whatever you wanna try, he’s done it like 9 times. You wanna do some nasty shit? Okie dokie than, he’ll get the “Camper’s a-rocking, don’t come a-knocking” sign up and clear his schedule. Aussie knows what he’s doing

Plz bring up riding to this man, he’ll fucking propose to you. He thinks riding is the best position because he has all the access to your fun areas, he’s able to bury his face into your chest or neck, and its minimal movement for him

#tf scout x reader #tf2 demoman x reader #tf2 sniper x reader #team fortress 2 x reader #tf2 x reader #tf2 scout #tf2 demoman #tf2 sniper #tea fortress 2 #tf2

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theyarebothgunshot · 4 years ago

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i loved your early cockles analysis so much, u are a gift. ik this might be asking way too much but have you ever thought about doing more analysis of Important Cockles Moments throughout the years? like maybe year by year? i think you did a good job contextualizing everything and it helped me like make sense of the timeline easier bc there's so much information out there it's a little overwhelming lol. i think a timeline for each year would be helpful. maybe someone else has done this?? i've seen the breakup theory timeline and the masterposts have like everything but idk i just really enjoy the way you like broke everything down and your observations. also you mentioned in another ask but i cant believe you've only been here since march bc i've been following you practically the whole time and i thought you've been here since january at least. i love your blog bc you're so rational and have the best kind of approach to everything. anyway thanks for doing analysis and stuff they're always really fun to read and your blog is such a fun and nice time!! <3 - mishdee anon if you remember me from the other days

thank you so much, you dont even know how much this means to me!! because yes i do invest quite a bit of time in order to write those posts and so it's always very nice to hear that people enjoy the way i write them!

i have thought about it, yes, and like, obviously i have covered 2009 - 2011 in that early cockles analysis, but i for sure would be willing to make year by year break downs of the years 2012 - 2020 if that's something people want to read!! i don't think it's been done before (except for the break up period, like you mentioned, but honestly i would be willing to go over the 'evidence' myself and give my own two cents on it). i would have to see if i make a post for one year (probably lmao) or all together (probably not lbr i mean my early cockles post was hella long and that was 2 years)

the thing is, it would be quite an investment and i also have a few other requests for analysis lined up so, i'm gonna tentatively ask here: would anybody else like me to do this?

#because if there is more interest in it i am more than willing to do it #i like writing these #and researching it #because it is a way to indulge my hyperfixation whilst also paying back to y'all #<33 #i mean maybe eventually i will get bored enough to do it anyways even if nobody would care lmao but still #mishdee anon #(i do remember!)

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chevrolangels · 4 years ago

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though the stars walk backward

#24: You’re my ex but I think I still have feelings for you, 4.1k

From this prompt list

For @princessjimmynovak This was requested approximately a million years ago and I finally finished it!! Happy belated birthday darling 💜

Feat. Space Ex-Boyfriends who are bad at talking to each other. So, canon. But in space. (Dean has always wanted to be an astronaut, lbr)

read on ao3

“New crop of cadets coming in today.”

“I know.”

Charlie bites into her apple, munching as she scans her screen.

“Hope they’re better than the last ones. Half of ‘em couldn’t tell the difference between a spectrometer and an ammeter.”

Castiel doesn’t comment. He’s too on edge to indulge Charlie today, so he just shrugs, swiveling his chair back in front of the control panel.

Everything’s on autopilot, like always, but he likes to check the nav-console by hand, every once in a while, if nothing but to prove his usefulness. Wouldn't do to have the computer shift a few degrees without anyone noticing and end up halfway to Alpha Centauri.

“I mean, what do they think we do up here? Run pretty tests for fun?” Charlie continues. “Like, one leak is the difference between life and death.”

Castiel makes a noncommittal noise and starts typing in the complicated sequence with his stylus, the starmap projected before him, their course pulsing with gentle blue light.

“I mean, they’re gone for all that time, least the Academy can do is make sure they’re prepared.”

Castiel bites his tongue, typing with perhaps a little more force than is necessary. He loves Charlie, but her ranting is really starting to get to him. Castiel might be the best pilot this side of the Pleiades, but hey. He’s only human.

“If they send me one more programmer who asks me how to do an abstraction, I’m going to―”

“Charlie, do you mind?” Castiel snaps. “I’m trying to concentrate here.”

He regrets it immediately. Charlie does go quiet, but makes a thoroughly overdramatic roll of her chair into Castiel’s eyeline. She raises an eyebrow.

“Somethin’ you wanna share with the class there, bud?”

Castiel exhales, rolling his shoulders.

“Sorry. I just...need to focus.”

“...Right.”

A decidedly sneaky look crosses her face, one that Castiel knows spells trouble.

She leans forward, propping her chin up on her hands.

“Is it because you gotta do the whole ‘Captain Thing’ later?” She asks. “Shake hands, greet the greets, that whole deal?”

Castiel acquiesces.

“Partly.”

He quickly finishes the rest of the code and enters it into the nav-console, sinking back in his seat. Charlie purses her lips.

“And I’m sure it has nothing to do with the fact that the teaching staff is coming back, huh.”

Castiel keeps his face carefully neutral, even as he feels the back of his neck grow hot. He fiddles with the stylus in his hands, turning it over and over again.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Uh-huh.”

Charlie taps her chin, looking thoughtful.

“What’s it been, two years?” She whistles, drawing it out. “Long time.”

Castiel just grunts. He should be getting up, to change into his uniform for the new batch of arrivals, but he makes no attempt to move.

“Dean’s coming back, too, right?”

Castiel snaps the stylus in half.

Charlie grins.

Castiel looks down at his hand, shoving the broken stylus into his pocket.

“If he is, I haven’t heard anything about it,” he says loftily. “And whether he does or not certainly doesn’t affect me.”

Charlie tilts her head.

“Didn’t they send the transfer roster last week?”

Castiel glares at her. She smirks back, giving him a cheeky wink.

Castiel abruptly pushes back from the console, standing.

“I have to go change,” he says shortly.

Once he gets to his quarters and the door slides closed behind him, Castiel sinks back against it, dropping his head in his hands.

Two years. Two years since Castiel chose to stay, and he chose to leave. Two years, of long lonely nights in front of the computer, of avoiding the Observation Deck, of throwing himself into his work. Two years in which Castiel thought he’d successfully ridded every last trace of Dean Winchester from his life.

After that night, Castiel had thrown away everything he’d ever given him. Every trinket, every gift, every scrap of paper―pathetic trophies of infatuation that Castiel had saved like a fool, pressed between the pages of his books.

The rest of the ship noticed, of course, because how could they not―Charlie, especially, had been particularly persistent in trying to get Castiel to tell her what happened. But Castiel resolutely refused to talk about him, and glowered sufficiently at any mention of his name that eventually people just learned to stop bringing him up.

But time marches ever onward, and the training cycle at the Academy is complete. The institution that Dean fled to in the first place is now spitting him back out, thrusting him back into Castiel’s life.

Castiel presses the heels of his hands to his eyes. How is he going to stand in front of nearly three hundred people and shake his hand? Just the mention of his name made Castiel want to throw something, bringing back all those memories Castiel tried so hard to forget. It may have been two years, but everything that made the man named Dean Winchester the best part of his life is still imprinted in Castiel’s memory, like a brand.

It’s times like this when Castiel wishes he could be like one of Charlie’s computers, erasing all information at the touch of a button. There would be no pain, no memories―like he had never existed in the first place.

Castiel exhales, looking down at his hands.

He’ll just have to make it quick. It really wouldn’t do for the captain to start a fistfight in front of the entire crew.

Roughly thirty minutes later, Castiel finds himself standing stiffly at the end of the receiving line of officers, the collar of his uncomfortable dress uniform cutting into his neck. Something must be off with the temperature regulators in the receiving deck, because he’s sweating, a few locks of hair slipping loose from his hat. He attempts to comb them back into place until Naomi hisses at him to stop fidgeting.

Charlie is beside him as Chief Engineering Officer. She cranes her neck above the crowd, looking at the small group that’s just disembarked from the transport ship.

“Showtime,” she says, adjusting her gloves.

Castiel closes his eyes briefly, breathing in. He can do this.

The new ones pass through first, freshly graduated, young and starry-eyed. Castiel can appreciate their eager enthusiasm. It’s important work they do here on the ship, and they need the best crew to make it possible. They shake his hand vigorously, hopefully interpreting his tight-lipped stare as stoic strength.

Then, the officers.

Hannah, who Castiel has always liked, gives him a warm smile and clasps his hands, telling him how much they missed him. Castiel agrees with the sentiment, but he can barely focus during their conversation, continually darting his eyes towards the end of the line.

The procession inches forward, painfully slow. Cain, Chief Military Strategist, is next, then Billie, and Linda Tran. Crowley, a truly despicable human being, but perhaps the most brilliant Flight Engineer Castiel’s ever worked with, passes with a slimy smile―and then, a face Castiel hasn’t seen in a long time.

“Captain Novak,” Sam says warmly, reaching out to shake his hand. “It’s been a while.”

Castiel smiles back, unable to help himself.

“It has,” he agrees, taking his hand. Despite whatever may have happened between him and his brother, Castiel always liked Sam. “I can’t tell you how much we’ve missed you during your absence.”

Sam nods, dropping Castiel’s hand.

“Believe me, we missed it here, too,” he says, smiling. “You never know how good you have it until you have to spend time way out in the boonies.”

Castiel chuckles. He remembers. The time at the Academy might be necessary, but it certainly couldn’t be called comfortable.

Sam turns, indicating the cadets behind them.

“We’ve got a good group for you here, Cas,” he says, dropping the nickname with easy familiarity. “I think you’ll be happy with them.”

“Good to hear,” Castiel replies. “I’m sure they benefited from having you as a teacher.”

Sam shrugs, ever modest.

Naomi clears her throat from behind them, not-so-subtly encouraging him to move it along. Sam smiles and gives Castiel a small little salute, moving away.

Castiel sighs, tugging at his collar. To his left, he hears a low chuckle.

“Still hate that uniform, huh?”

Castiel stiffens.

He’d know that voice anywhere.

He slowly lowers his hand, looking up into the face he tried two years to forget.

“Hey, Cas,” Dean says softly, smiling.

His eyes are bright, shining, like he wants to be here. Funny. Castiel seems to remember he went halfway across the star system just to get away from him.

He extends a hand, holding it out for Castiel to shake.

Castiel clears his throat, but doesn’t move.

“Dr. Winchester,” he replies stiffly. “Welcome back.”

Dean chuckles.

“Oh, right,” he says sheepishly. “I gotta call you ‘Captain Novak’, now, huh? Sorry.”

He looks up, that soft smile returning.

“Old habits, I guess,” he murmurs.

His hand is still extended, in the distance between them. Naomi must be practically foaming at the mouth at such a lack of decorum. Castiel couldn’t care less.

Dean looks exactly the same, perhaps a few more lines around his eyes, still that perfect shade of green. Dean's eyes always reminded Castiel of Earth.

Dean seems to be thinking along the same lines. He looks Castiel up and down, gaze lingering for a moment on the few locks of hair Castiel knows must still be stubbornly escaping from beneath the brim of his hat.

“You haven’t changed at all,” Dean continues. “Even after two years.”

“And three months, six days,” Castiel says coolly.

Dean’s smile fades a little.

“Right.”

He pulls back his hand, awkwardly picking at the edge of the hat in his hands.

Castiel’s heart is beating wildly, but he keeps his face still as stone. Dean shifts uncomfortably, then seems to make a decision.

He leans in, lowering his voice.

“Look, Cas, you know I always hated this formal junk,” he murmurs. “Can we talk later, maybe?”

He sounds so cavalier, so oblivious, and Castiel hates it.

“Catch up?” Dean asks. “Away from all these people?”

Castiel gives him his coldest stare.

“I don’t think so, Dr. Winchester,” he says sharply. “Running this ship is a full time job.”

Dean blinks, and he stares at him, looking like he’s just been slapped across the face. The monster of heartache and pain inside Castiel roars with a vicious triumph.

“I have enough on my plate as it is,” he continues dismissively. “I simply don’t have time to indulge every junior officer who wants to waste my time.”

He straightens, looking away disinterestedly.

“You’d do best to remember that.”

For a moment, Dean doesn’t speak, merely staring at Castiel, his mouth open in disbelief.

Then he remembers himself, and with a glance at Naomi, he stands up straight, placing his officer’s hat back on his head.

“Yeah,” Dean mutters, lowering his eyes. “Well.”

There’s an awkward cough from Charlie to his left. Castiel ignores her.

“It’s good to see you, again, Cas,” Dean murmurs. “Really.”

Somehow, he makes it sound genuine.

He exits the platform, quickly disappearing into the crowd.

Castiel watches Dean go an uneasy curl in his throat. The brief flare of vengeful satisfaction is already leeching away, leaving him feeling brittle and hollow.

Naomi is already busy shooing the officers into the reception hall, for the welcome banquet. Charlie finds Castiel’s arm and squeezes it, her eyes sympathetic.

“Cas?” She asks quietly. “You okay?”

Castiel clenches his jaw.

“Think I might have to get back to you on that."

Later, after the banquet, after three hours of restless tossing and turning, Castiel slowly gets up, not bothering with shoes.

Wandering the hallways used to be his favorite pastime. The quiet, the stillness. He still does it, on occasion, when he finds sleep isn’t easy in coming. The lights that try to mimic some semblance of a day and night cycle are dimmed low, the halls empty, most retired to their chambers.

Castiel makes his way up to the Observation Deck, taking a brief look around. There’s no one there, no one to spy on the captain of their ship, stealing away in the night for some much needed solitude. He walks the ramp to the very top part of the observatory, leaning his arms on the handrail. Castiel used to spend hours here. He would sit and watch the stars turn, feeling at once very small and very infinite. He sits now, staring out at the vast darkness before him. It’s utterly quiet, the electric hum of the ship the only sound in the gloom.

Unbidden, his thoughts turn to the last conversation he had here.

Castiel had just learned he had been chosen to be the next Captain, a highly selective process that he had stressed about for weeks. The first person he wanted to tell was Dean.

But Dean had come with news of his own.

A teaching job at the Academy. Highly prestigious, second probably only to Castiel’s role―but that meant―

“Two years,” Dean said to his hands, his voice flat. “That’s how long I’d be gone.”

Castiel felt his brief taste of happiness deflate like a suit after a spacewalk.

“Two years?” He echoed, his tongue thick in his mouth. Dean nodded mutely.

“That’s…”

Castiel bit his lip.

“Wow,” is all he managed.

“Yeah,” Dean muttered.

There was a long moment where neither of them spoke.

“So…”

Castiel hardly dared to say it.

“I’m guessing you knew that when you applied,” he said flatly.

Dean nodded mutely.

“Didn’t really account for you becoming the Captain,” he muttered.

Anger flared within Castiel.

“What, because you think I wouldn’t get it?”

“No!” Dean said immediately, looking up. “God, no, Cas, of course not. Why would you think that?”

“I’m thinking a lot of things right now,” Castiel shot back.

Dean shut his mouth angrily.

“I guess...I guess it’s just hitting me how long two years really is,” he said finally.

Castiel sucked in a breath, stunned.

“You’re not serious,” he whispered. Dean dragged a hand down his face, avoiding his eyes.

“I don’t know, Cas!” He said, voice rising in the quiet. “I mean...you’ll have your job, Cas, I'll have mine...who knows if you’ll have any time for me―”

“Oh, I won’t have time for you?” Castiel repeated scathingly. God, he should have known, it’s just like Dean―shove the blame off himself and project it onto Castiel instead of owning his feelings like an adult.

“Just say you don’t want to be with me and get it over with,” he snapped.

“Cas…” Dean started.

Castiel couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t believe this was happening.

Dean sighed, breath shaky.

“I―”

Castiel looked up.

He saw the look in Dean’s eyes and he didn’t let him finish. He didn’t let him break his heart.

He ran like a coward.

Castiel wipes angrily at his eyes, banishing the memory. He can’t change the past, so he might as well not dwell on it.

He looks up, at the wilderness of the stars. They shimmer gently against the blank expanse, his constant companions. Castiel can tell you the distance between Betelguese and Rigel, can calculate the time it would take to travel to Sirius and back, but he could never navigate his own life so surely.

If only humans could be as constant as the Heavens.

Behind him, the floor creaks softly. Castiel goes still.

“Hey, Cas,” Dean murmurs.

Castiel turns, glancing over his shoulder.

Dean is standing at the end of the platform, in his sleep pants and shirt. He looks so different out of his uniform. Softer. More like himself.

“Dean,” Castiel says, unable to stop the name from coming to his lips.

Dean responds with a bashful smile, one hand twisting nervously into the hem of his shirt.

“Figured I'd find you here."

He glances out at the stars, then back to Castiel.

“You mind if I join you?”

Castiel swallows, but looks away, saying nothing.

Dean seems to take that as permission, and sits, legs hanging over the edge of the deck, next to Castiel.

There once was a time when they’d sit close enough for their knees to knock, their hands lacing over the railing as Dean told stories, weaving grand tales of the constellations and their histories, while Castiel listened, enraptured.

Now the distance of that memory feels vast, lightyears away. They’re both quiet, not speaking a word. The silence is thin, fragile as glass.

“Cas―”

So Dean will be the one to break it.

He pauses, brow furrowing as he searches for words. Castiel bristles, waiting for it.

“Look,” Dean says, turning to face him. “I get it. You don’t want anything to do with me. But―”

“You’re right,” Castiel interrupts fiercely. “I don’t.”

Dean goes silent beside him. When Castiel finally musters the courage to look up, Dean is staring at him, hopeless and broken.

“Can you at least let me explain?” His voice comes out low and hoarse.

Castiel is torn. Half of him melts, seeing Dean so desperate. But the other half, the rational part of him that remembers the danger of falling for Dean Winchester cautions him, telling him the smartest thing he can do right now is walk away, and never open his heart again.

He lowers his head, exhaling heavily.

“I can’t,” he mutters. “Dean, I just…can’t.”

“You’re angry,” Dean says softly. Castiel scoffs.

“You’re damn right I'm angry,” he mutters. “And I don’t care about any half-assed apology you have for me, not now. Too little, too late.”

He moves back from the railing, pushing himself up. Tears are starting to come to his eyes, hot and bitter, and he’ll be damned if he’ll let Dean see him cry.

“Cas, wait―”

He reaches out, grabbing his hand.

Castiel freezes, rooted to the spot. Dean is frozen too, looking down at their joined hands. He doesn’t let go, though.

“Just...slow down, will ya?” Dean says, and there’s a hint of a laugh there, the way he always sounded when he would talk Castiel off the ledge. But now, it only ignites the rage inside him, and Castiel rips his arm from Dean’s grasp, whirling on him.

“No!” Castiel yells, shattering the silence. “You left, and you don’t get to do this now, you don’t get to come waltzing back into my life like everything’s fine―”

Dean’s eyes widen, he holds up his hands.

“Cas―”

“You broke up with me, remember?”

“No, I didn’t, Cas, will you shut up for two seconds and listen?”

Surprisingly, Castiel does. He blinks, slightly stunned at Dean’s words.

What is he talking about?

“Look,” Dean says quickly, probably to prevent Castiel from shouting again. “I only applied to the stupid Academy because Sammy was too―he was freaking out about the process, so I did it with him, just to show him it was nothing. He’s the smart one, so never in a million years did I think they’d choose me, too.”

Castiel crosses his arms, huffing under his breath. Even if he does hate him right now, it always hurts to hear Dean undersell himself.

“The moment I found out, all I wanted to do was talk to my best friend about how fucking scared I was.” Dean sighs. “And then you said you were picked to be Captain, and it all just...seemed too much.”

He looks down, twisting his hands.

“I panicked. God—somehow had it in my mind that the minute I told you you wouldn’t want to be with me, that there wouldn’t be any room in your life for me anymore. And seeing your face in that moment, you were so excited, and then it just slid off your face…"

Castiel remembers. Shit, he had been so happy, so proud—and when Dean told him…

He’d never been good at hiding his feelings, not with Dean.

He turns over their last conversation in his mind and all at once it seems to click, now that he knows what Dean must have thought.

“I jumped to conclusions,” Dean admits quietly. “I was...so afraid you wouldn’t want to do the long distance thing for two years so I….kind of...let you break us up before I could.”

Castiel stares at him, a painful bubble of emotion rising in his throat. Oh.

Dean continues.

“If anything, I wanted you to ask me to stay.” He lowers his head, dragging a hand through his short hair. “Which was wrong. I get that now.”

He looks up, huffing out a feeble laugh.

“Believe me, Cas,” he says lowly. “It took me all of about an hour to realize how badly I fucked up. But by that time the solar flares were surging and we had to go.”

Dean bites at his lip.

“I looked for you. I tried. But you had locked yourself away in a meeting and I didn’t get to say goodbye. You didn’t let me,” he finishes, a sad bitter note in his voice.

Castiel cannot speak, in shock. He never knew. He’d always thought...after that conversation, that Dean had left without so much as a glance back.

“You…”

He eventually trails off. He has no words.

Dean takes a tentative step forward.

“And you know what it’s like out there. The distances are too far, so they restrict communication.” He shrugs, a slight smirk tugging at his lips. “Doesn’t mean I didn’t try, though.”

“What?” Castiel asks.

“I tried to send transmissions back,” Dean says, rushing out the words. “Every day for a month. They kept telling me personal messages weren’t allowed. I even tried to break into the control center after hours.”

“Dean,” Castiel breathes, awed and horrified all at once. “You didn’t.”

Dean chuckles.

“Nearly got myself tossed out of the airlock for that one.”

His teeth return to his lip again, his green eyes hesitant.

“Sam said I was crazy. I just told him he’d never been in love.”

Castiel's throat goes dry.

They’d never said, not even before Dean left. But Castiel knew he was. Only love leaves that big and jagged of a hole.

“That’s why,” he says softly. “Why I never heard from you the whole two years.”

“And three months, and six days,” Dean says quietly.

Castiel bites his lip.

“Yeah,” Dean says softly. “I was counting, too.”

He sighs, spreading his hands.

“So, yeah. I messed up. And I get it if you never want to talk to me again, I just―”

Dean never finishes his speech because he doesn't need to. In three swift steps, Castiel has reached him and pulled him in by the front of his shirt.

Dean makes a soft noise of surprise as Castiel presses their lips together, but he quickly gets on board, pulling Castiel in by his waist, kissing him back. And he no longer needs to dream about Dean’s warmth, his lips underneath his, the dry rough touch of his palm coming to cup Castiel’s cheek. He’s here, and he’s real, and he’s never going to let him get away again.

Dean pulls back slightly, pressing his forehead against Castiel’s

“Damn,” he breathes. “I missed that.”

Castiel tightens his grip.

“Dean, I’m so sorry,” he whispers.

“Yeah,” Dean chuckles. “So am I.”

He licks his lips, looking down at Castiel’s.

“I was an idiot,” he murmurs, and the sound rumbles through his chest. Castiel shivers.

“I should have just told you,” Dean finishes, shaking his head slightly.

“Yes,” Castiel says, bumping their noses together. “You should have.”

Dean laughs, and it’s possibly the most beautiful sound Castiel’s ever heard.

“There’s the asshole I remember.”

They both grin, just basking in their closeness, breathing quietly.

“So.”

Castiel clears his throat.

“So, this whole time, we wanted to be with each other and we just...weren’t.”

Dean chuckles.

“Sounds like it.”

“Wow.”

Castiel shakes his head.

“We’re a couple of dumbasses.”

Dean laughs again.

“Sums up the last fifteen years of us knowing each other.” He reaches out tentatively, fingers brushing Castiel’s. “Don’t you think?”

Castiel smiles, turning his hand up so Dean can thread their fingers together. He knows they so much they still have to say, so much to catch up on to fix everything that’s broken between them.

By a backdrop of stars, Dean kisses him once more, and well, that’s as good a start as any.

#requested approximately five million years ago #and it was your birthday yesterday ahhh!!!!#HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!#hope you like it!!!! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧#destiel #my writing #ficlet #yeah i made it a space au bc i can #fight me #au #destielficlets

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icarusfallsforwalls · 4 years ago

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tbh... people would rather discuss his name than have to have more painful discussions about the role they and their faves have played in the racism he faced, lbr. a LOT of 1d fans have done racist things over the years. some of them blatantly openly racist (the ones holding terrorist signs, throwing things at him, etc) but a lot more have been passively racist (pushing ugly narratives, having double standards, believing unsourced tabloid nonsense about him that they'd instantly question about the others, the whole "he's so mysterious~ and brooding~" shit, etc).

we've ALL done it at some point, as much as it hurts to admit. i'm a woc and zayn has always been my #1, but even i'm guilty of holding him to different standards than the whites. it's a societal thing. we've all been raised in a racist world and we've all internalised certain messages, even those of us who are literally asian sjfhsjf.

it's like women claiming they shave their legs because they "want to". we all know that's nonsense and we do it because if we go outside hairy we'll be ridiculed and considered lazy and disgusting, but none of us like to admit we've crumbled to societal misogyny. "i just like having smooth legs!" we say, even thought we are all aware that when we're home alone and won't be seen, we never shave or do our makeup or anything. racism works the same - it infiltrates every aspect of life and all our interactions and none of us have escaped its web of deceit.

i mean, hell, how many of us have gone "omg i'd love a 1d reunion" or "i wish zouis would talk again" or whatever? i would NEVER talk to any of my white ex-colleagues who had stayed silent while i was being racially abused en masse, and yet, despite that fact, i still expect zayn to put himself through it just because i like louis. even if the individual 1d boys weren't the issue (zayn has the bus1 tattoo for a reason - clearly louis was his friend and not just a colleague), having to put himself back into 1d territory would undoubtedly stir up a lot of traumatic memories of things and people who WERE racist.

and we all know that! we're not stupid! we are 100% aware of the trauma he faced in that band, both from the fandom and the management and the media. and yet we still expect him to package it all up into a neat little box, tie a bow around it, and hand it to us like a gift. even those of us who are poc, who have similar trauma, who KNOW who awful that would be to go through. it's so insidious! we're all guilty!

and i think a lot of fans are stuck in a very childish mindset where you are either a good person or you are a big scary racist. (to be cringey and quote sirius black: "the world isn't divided into good people and death eaters, harry"). but that isn't how it works. no one is perfect and pure. no one has escaped the societal pressure of racism. it isn't a moral failing to put your hands up and go "damn, i'm part of the problem, i'll try and do better in future". like, that's literally all it would take! no one is expecting white fans to start whipping themselves in repentance!!! but a lot of these fans are struggling with that, clearly lol. they'd rather hyperfocus on one little line of cathartic and pretend it's a big deal, cus it's easier to talk about "zayn vs zain" or whatever than it is for them to analyse their own behaviour. but, like, their refusal to discuss the part they've played in the fandom's racism is literally just reinforcing the issue!! this is what zayn meant when he was said nobody is listening!

sfjsfhs sorry i've written you such an huge essay lmaooo. might set it to a cool beat and drop it on soundcloud, @zayn hit me up boy!!! sjfhsfjs

Oh my gosh, this was such a great read. Thank you for sending this to me! And quoting Sirius Black! And your joke at the end; this is iconic. You also touch on some very real and important points.

I have always felt so deeply for and sympathized with these issues, but I could never truly understand because while I am white and hispanic, I am white-passing and have white privilege. I hate evil and discrimination and racism, but I'm also sure I have at times contributed to it, even unintentionally. As you said, it is deeply engrained into our society, our entertainment, our jobs, our conversations, our jokes, our lives, our thoughts, our homes. It is in fandom too and I've always noticed a different tone (mainly when I'm on twitter) when people speak about Zayn. They cut him no slack. They question his motives. He is always judged so harshly. His music and lyrics are often ignored. And the Zouis breakup is usually always placed on his shoulders, even though we don't know the actual truth of what happened between the two. I've been thinking about this the last couple of days and even more so after listening to Cathartic. Zayn Malik is a grown ass man. A POC who was mistreated and discriminated against while in One Direction and still. He knows his trauma and is allowed to do what is best for him (Calamity). I wish Louis and Zayn would publicly be friends again, that is no secret, but it's not necessarily fair of me to put that on their shoulders because it has more to do with me than what is best for them. I still love and always will love Zouis, but it's in the past and that's how I'll celebrate it from now on because I do think they cared for each other very much.

@anon thank you so much for sharing this perspective. It’s always welcome and appreciated.

#what shall we discuss #zouis #zayn

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