#(( We kept thinking about it FOR HOURS HERE MAN EVEN WHILE EATING DINNER AND WATCHING MORE EPISODES IN THE LIVING ROOM WITH HIS DOGS ))

[diy-fire-water-pups]

Hey marshall I made this for you from a stone because I'm don't have money to buy a doll

It's ok if you don't want It, even I have to admit it creepy, just know I work very hard on it for you

I don't think it looks creepy at all... The shape kind of reminds me of Baymax, actually! I like it, thanks! And it must be hard to sculpt on a stone like that, I wouldn't be able to make one of these ever!

[ohsohoney]

When it comes to love you're just as blinded.

Part Fourteen

Eminem x Musician

Summary: It starts with a drunk embarrassing video, it spirals into something a whole lot more.

Note: Been a little while but the next updates here! Lots to unpack, hope you enjoy it:)

| Set in 2014, just after the release of LP 2

taglist: @thelastemzy @helloitsme1223 @geekchic48

Masterlist

Things after that seemingly did a 360.

Not that I was given much of a chance to catch up with it all though, having been left standing in the studio hours earlier, back to the wall whilst the door hinges had slowly creaked to a close. 

No, because that would have been far too much to ask for.

Marshall had relaxed in a way that was more like a steel trap being reset; ready and waiting to be crossed again. It had me on edge. I couldn’t deny that, seeing as I knew what could be lying in wait for me if I did dare to trample any closer, but there was also an ominous instinct that had my back up. Something that kept me from lingering too long. 

“What’s goin’ on in there?” The man himself asked, tapping my forehead as he slid back into the driver's seat. 

We’d gone out, as promised, not long after ‘The Change’ had occurred (something I’d taken to dubbing the whole situation as inside my head). Rosie hadn’t forgotten about her idea of dinner and a movie– and really… Of all the things we could have possibly done after a kiss like that, it just had to be this.

Honestly, I had to keep biting the inside of my cheek to stop that particular train of thought each time I found my mind wandering back to it.

“Yoo-hoo…” Marshall dragged out, his brow arching as he glanced over at me again. 

Z was in the back typing away, having become completely unaware of our shared awkward existence ever since her sister had first called whilst we’d been eating dinner. The girl had taken to texting throughout, telling Ayla all about the heroics Marshall had performed that same morning in the principal's office, as well as the movie we were now headed to see. I had to smile at their closeness, thinking back to my own siblings and wondering how Em struggled to see just how much the two girls loved one another.

I glanced over at him, head rolling against the headrest. He was watching me with those familiar baby blues, but each time I caught sight of them, I was instantly reminded of the way they’d clouded over in the studio earlier.

“Thinking ‘bout getting a cat.”

His brow furrowed. 

“A cat?” He deadpanned, obviously perplexed by my answer.

I wasn’t actually thinking about it, but now that I’d gone and said it… it wasn’t half a bad idea.

So I ultimately shrugged, if only in an attempt to tear my eyes away from his. “Cats are cool.” 

At his scoff of disagreement, I nudged his arm off of the adjoining console with my elbow, “They are.” I defended, “They don’t need me to walk them or play fetch. They’re cute and fluffy, can definitely keep me warm at night.” I hummed, that eyebrow of his quirked up higher. “And besides, I reckon it could keep me company when I’m back in London, you know. Figure I’ll have a hard time with that after having you two around for so long– even with Lotts there to keep me from going insane.”

Marshall kept quiet at the acknowledgement, but did start up the car, its engine rumbling to life beneath us not a second later. 

It was just when I heard his faint intake of breath and caught the way he opened his mouth to speak, that Rosie shoved her phone in my face, her beaming grin peeking out over my shoulder. “Ayla, meet El!”

I blinked at the sudden invasion I’d been confronted with but couldn’t help my warm laughter, even as Em gently scolded his daughter for the intrusion. “Z, what I keep tellin’ you?”

“But Dad, it’s important!”

My gaze flickered between the two of them and it was only when I drew my eyes back down to where the screen sat between us that I saw the fondness which had since swarmed my expression. I tried to dampen it slightly without being too obvious, but the girl waiting seemed to be watching the whole scene rather intently. She smiled though when she saw she’d finally captured my attention. All soft like.

My breath caught a little in truth, never really having thought about getting to meet Marshall’s eldest this early on, or through a screen either. Rosie didn’t seem to care much though, elbowing her way between the two front seats to get as much as she could  of us into the frame. 

“Layly, baby!” Marshall’s greeting cut in before I could spit out a hello, his little nickname for his girls sparking that same fondness I’d felt earlier. “How you doin’, Trailer? Behavin’, I hope.”

I blew out a small snort at the next nickname he used, turning an amused smile Marshall’s way, but his focus was wholly on the girl currency rolling her eyes at him through a digital frame. “You know I am.” Ayla huffed around a faint chuckle, leaning in closer to the lens, “School keeps me way too busy to get up to anything stupid.”

“What I love to hear.” Marshall replied with a sarky sort of smile, a new one that I could add to my growing collection, I quietly deemed. “You been good though?” He prompted further, “Don’t have to stop by and talk to any hanger-ons, do I? ‘Cause you know I will.”

“Yes, I know.” Ayla shook her head, exasperated, but her sweet smile was still so prominent. “Besides, I think you guys have had enough drama going on lately.”

Marshall’s eyes traitorously jumped over to meet mine in that split second, something I thought only I caught until I witnessed the assessing look Ayla took on. So I was quick to clear my throat, internally cursing his name, “I don’t know what Z’s told you, but the two of us? We’re innocent! This is all on your Dad.”

That seemed to earn me a lighthearted laugh, one that trickled out of the speaker and appeared to loosen Marshall’s tense set of shoulders. The man in turn levelled Rosie and I with an aggrieved look before he turned to speak to Ayla once more, “It’s like I’m a one man army here, AB. Didn’t think I’d ever lose Z, but she’s gone darkside.”

“Dad!” Rosie admonished around another giggle, whilst Ayla gasped theatrically, “Oh how the tables have turned. What will the papers say?”

“Hilarious.” Marshall said in a manner that was deliberately impassive. But he still cracked a smile though when Ayla’s chuckles trickled through.

“Good to see you guys,” She commented soon after and I got the chance to look at her a little closer, taking in the college dorm she had sitting behind her, as well as the blue of her eyes. They were more almond shaped, sure, but somehow the colour still managed to match Marshall’s toe for toe. “And to finally meet you, El. I’ve heard a lot about you these last few weeks.”

A sharp breath hitched my chest. “Only good things, I hope.” I found myself retorting around a rosy smile, knocking my head lightly against Z’s when the girl crowded in further to my side, her chin settling on my shoulder, “But it’s also really nice to put a face to all the stories I’ve been told, too.”

Ayla gifted me a bright grin at that, her gaze drifting between Rosie and I, “No hope in praying that it’s nothing too embarrassing then?”

I couldn’t stop the way I instinctively turned to share a secretive grin with the girl beside me, pleased when Rosie mimicked me to do the same. “I don’t know about that, I’ve heard all about the grocery store you see.”

The gasp that the comment drew from the older girl was all too real that time, “I was seven!”

“Seven don’t mean nothin’,” Em swiftly cut in, narrowing his eyes ever so as he directed a finger at the phone and his eldest, “You’d been potty trained since you were two.”

Rosie and I snickered between ourselves, but Marshall caught onto it all too quickly, moving to shift that finger towards the pair of us, “Aye, you two ain’t no better. Ms Bedwetter and Pillow-drewler.”

“Hey!” Rosie immediately spat, thumping the man’s shoulder hard enough to have the corners of his mouth twitching even as his brows rose, “That was years ago! And you said you wouldn’t tell nobody!”

Marshall’s hands flew up in a gesture of surrender when his daughter narrowed her eyes in further scrutiny, but I could tell that Z wasn’t as embarrassed as she was letting on to be, knew it to be true when she added, “You also said it was natural! That you didn’t stop doin’ it ‘til you were fourteen!”

Em’s chin jerked up before he softened his reaction, though his eyes were a tad bit too wide to have not been entirely caught off guard by the secret his daughter had just spilled, “Jus’ said that to make you feel better.”

His shrug wasn’t all that uncaring as he hoped for it to be. 

“Liar!” Rosie laughed, poking her dad’s side before she turned to peer back over at her sister and me, “He really did, promised he wouldn’t tell on me if I didn’t tell on him either. But he’s a big fat liar.”

“Name of your next single.” I quipped thoughtlessly, the comment going straight over Rosie’s head. Em shot me a steely glare and faked a silent laugh though, his lips softening into a small smile. 

It was after that in which Marshall’s palm pressed against Rosie’s forehead, jokingly coaxing her into the backseat once again, waving off her protests as she slumped into the middle. “Yeah, yeah, keep complainin’ and we’ll miss this damn movie, won’t we.”

“Dollar!” Two voices called out and I peered into the back to see Z snicker into the phone, the screen Ayla was still on illuminating her face. 

Marshall scoffed at the two girls but I could see how he was grinning happily to himself as we pulled out of the lot and onto the main road. 

It continued to surprise me how easily he could move throughout the city without looking at a map or using the GPS he had installed in the flashy monster-truck he was so fond of. I kept finding myself getting lost in the way he drove, in truth, stare caught on how the streetlights flashed over his stubbled cheek and the fluid way he switched gears as though the stick was an extension of his arm. 

It was only when Rosie popped up with another question that I found myself startling, looking back to immediately avoid the knowing smile Marshall had plastered over his face. Shit.

“What’s the movie called again? Ayla wants to know if it’s the same one she’s watching this weekend.”

I had to think for a second before I could answer her, my mind still honed in on the image of Em’s profile, “Love, Rosie.”

Z’s face split into a wide grin, her eyes squinting with the strength of it as she repeated the answer back to her sister, talking a mile a minute about how we were only going to see that film over The Book of Life because it had her name in the title. 

I settled back into my seat easily enough and fiddled with the radio to keep myself from acknowledging my previous leering, hoping that the drive would be over all too quickly. Only, things never typically tended to go my way.

Jerking ever so, my straying gaze snapped back over to where Em was still watching the road, as though all of his attention was stuck there, and that wasn’t his hand on my upper thigh. 

It was less than a second later that I let my eyes shift up into the rearview mirror, a breath of relief escaping me when I realised Rosie hadn’t caught the exchange, or see the lines her Dad was crossing. 

I licked the back of the teeth and willed myself to relax at the touch, taking a small breath before I looked back over at the man in question. When I did, I found myself narrowing my stare at the slight smirk Marshall wore, apparently rather pleased with the reaction he’d garnered. 

Still, my mind was warring with my want. I couldn’t wrap my head around the hot and cold, the way he’d push me away and then pull me in, how I’d thought about leaving to escape the icy shift and then been backed into a wall– literally.

I didn’t push his hand away though, and that in itself spoke volumes. 

I couldn’t tell how he meant the touch, was he trying to be teasing? Or was it just a show of reassurance for the unexpected conversation started with Ayla? Had it been something he’d been wanting to do for a while now, or was this all just a game?

He squeezed, ever so slightly. 

My eyes slipped closed.

His thumb brushed over the bump of my knee and I let myself melt into the firm hold.

It felt unnatural not to.

The hand didn’t travel, only moved away and then back each time it jumped up to the gearstick. I found myself, once again, wanting the journey to be over, whilst simultaneously hoping that it would never end.

The touch grounded me.

But it pulled away when the theatre came into view.

…

“Can't believe The Marshall Mathers is planning on watching a chick-flick.” I taunted playfully as we made our way up onto the pavement outside the red and gold doors, the joke only made to keep me from wanting to reach out and slide his hand into mine. Because I didn’t do that, I didn’t like all that sappy shit. I didn’t want to be holding his fucking hand, or have him drape his arm around me. It was just the moment, just that kiss fucking with my head.

Marshall feigned a put upon sigh, that hand of his coming up by his brow in an attempt to swoon. “Lord strike me down.”

I laughed outwardly, Rosie glancing back over her shoulder at us as she tugged at the heavy handle. “You’re not looking forward to it, Daddy?”

Shooting me a semi-sour look, Marshall let a lazy smirk crawl over his face just as he reached out to steady the door above Z’s head, “Nah I am, baby. Lia’s jus’ makin’ fun of the big manly guy.”

“Who?” Rosie asked in utter sincerity, enough that it had me cackling outright on the pavement outside. Em shook his head at the two of us, attempting to remain unamused but failing as reaching out to take my hand, tugging me through the open doors. 

Z was still looking confused by it all when I managed to calm slightly, but her smile was soft as ever as her eyes lingered over the pair of us. It was then I realised Marshall’s hand was still in mine. He must have realised it too, because he let it go and coughed quietly into his arm before gesturing his chin out towards the concession stands. “So we gettin’ some popcorn or what?”

And with that, Rosie’s sole focus was on getting exactly that.

I ended up trailing after her whilst Marshall went and grabbed us some tickets, keeping an eye on her shorter frame as she weaved around a tall shelf to get a look at the array of sweets. There weren’t too many people about, but I still found myself glancing back over towards Em to see if anyone had sussed him out yet.

“What’re you gonna get?”

My head snapped back at Rosie’s ask, eyes dancing over the grin she bore before flickering between her own. I glanced over the collection the theatre had to offer, surprised by the obvious differences I could see.

“Me and my sister had this thing,” I started to answer, reaching out to pluck a familiar bag from off the hook, “Where each time we would go to the cinema we’d just end up getting a big bucket of popcorn to share and dump a whole load of M&M’s or Magicstars inside. If the popcorn’s still warm the chocolate tends to melt a little.”

Rosie scrunched her nose, either in distaste or just thought. “Sweet or salted?” Was the next question she posed and it hastily reminded me of the same one Marshall had asked that very first night I’d spent with them.

“Salted.” Smirking slightly at the way her eyes lit up.

“You made the right choice.” Z claimed with a nod and wiggled her brows before she spun around the heel of her foot to make her way over to the short line.

We ended up getting a large popcorn to share. At first, I figured it wouldn’t be enough for the three of us until I saw the container we were handed, then I was just beyond baffled at how different the portion sizes were in The States compared to back in London. 

Once we’d paid, Rosie and I wandered over to a corner to dump the contents of the chocolate I’d picked up into it, Z having so much fun with it that a good couple dozen of M&M’s rolled over the ugly patterned floor. When Marshall strolled back over, he was wearing a questionable expression but holding onto three tickets.

“Should I even ask?” He quizzed, peering into the overloaded bucket. The look he wore turned somewhat appraising once Z explained and he was quick to steal a taste of our concoction, earning a tap to the arm in rebuke.

“Hey, hands off, bright eyes. Popcorn’s for the trailers, not here.”

“Bright eyes?” Marshall questioned, the left corner of his mouth lifting, but his ask was drowned out by Z’s, “The trailers? Dad always makes us wait ‘til the movie starts!” 

I snorted and held out the bucket so that Rosie could take a great big handful, “We’ve long since discovered your Dad’s a little neurotic, lovely. We just gotta love him for it.”

Rosie’s laugh was warm as she peered up at Marshall. But his eyes were caught on me and he almost appeared frozen before Z leaned into his side, “Can we head in now?” She wondered, chewing away.

“Uh, yeah.” Em seemed to stumble, before he blinked and leaned down to press his lips to the top of her head, “Think we made it just in time.”

..

Love, Rosie was a film I could have lived without watching, I wouldn’t lie. It was like every other Romcom I’d seen a thousand times before. And yet, I loved every single second of it. 

We were stationed in the far back, on the side closest to the stairs, Rosie perched between Marshall and I, her legs swinging back and forth. Throughout the whole film her attention remained captured, never wavering as her big doe eyes stayed locked on the screen with such reverence that it warmed my entire being. 

Marshall wasn’t much better either, in truth. Something which humoured me to no end. Whenever he wasn’t glancing at me from over the top of Z’s head or stealing the popcorn from out of my hand each time I reached into the bucket, his eyes didn’t stray from the heartfelt scenes as they played out. 

It was a strange conclusion to come to, that Marshall loved a good old fashioned Romcom as much as his daughter did, but it was a fact that went and nestled itself in between my ribs, where all the other little quirks the man had went to stay. 

It was only as we were leaving, Rosie talking a mile a minute about the ending and how she thought it sucked, that he reached out again in the dimly lit corridor that led us back to the main lobby, only this time he didn’t have the excuse of stealing any popcorn from me when his fingers slipped into mine.

I tried not to show how surprised I was by the action as I looked over at him, grateful that we were the last ones to filter out of the screening room so that no one else noticed when I let my feet slide closer to his so that our shoulders could brush.

They were such simple actions, ones that would be second nature to most people, but that meant a great deal to me. Because see, I’d never really been the type to be overly affectionate, having hated hugs or anything of the sort once Danny had grown too old for them. Well, up until Lottie had come along. And most of the people I’d been with over the years had seemed to struggle with that, even when I’d pushed myself into reciprocating, when I’d forced myself out of my comfort zone to make them happy. But here and now, it felt natural.

Most things with Marshall did, I deemed. Even us arguing.

Our hands parted just before we could step through the end doors, his thumb brushing over my wrist as our eyes adjusted to the vast change in light.

Rosie was rubbing at hers when I glanced over, her too large drink squashed in the crook of her arm. Marshall seemed to follow my gaze because he reached out to loop her into his side not a second later, peering down at her. “I want you takin’ notes, you hear?” He mentioned in reference to the film, his smile now sly, “None of that’s gone be happenin’ in your future, girlie. You wanna get married? I better be dead. And don’t even think ‘bout havin’ no babies ‘til you start gettin’ grey hairs, okay?”

Z rolled her eyes in response to her father's shakedown, shaking her head up at me in silent camaraderie. “You just don't want people to see you cry.” She poked fun, her grin turning evil, “But we all saw the tears when she started her speech, Dad!”

“Lies.” Em scoffed back at her, pushing her away and out of his hold. Rosie didn’t much care though as she laughed her way into mine, head coming to rest on my upper arm.

“Me? I always tell the truth. Even when I lie.” Was the retort she gave him, one that had me snorting on a laugh when Marshall raised a brow and turned towards me.

“Think we left Z inside,” He said, “seems Tony Montana here figures he’s comin’ home with us.” 

I couldn’t help the giggles that escaped me at all the references, especially when Rosie pursed her lips and drooped her eyes slightly, holding her arms out wide like Al Picino did in the famous movie, “Last time you gonna see a bad guy like me.”

Even Em couldn’t hold back the large snort he made at the little act she’d put on for us, shaking his head at her antics before he pointed a finger at her, “Last time you watch a movie with me, I swear.”

Rosie’s jaw dropped just a tad, “But it’s Scarface!”

“Exactly.” Was the only reply Marshall gave. 

I lifted a hand to give Z’s shoulder a squeeze, smiling stupidly when she wrapped an arm around my waist to pull me into a lazy hug. The pair of them continued with their little face-off though until I was promptly reminded of the thing that had been bugging me throughout the end of the film, “Go and head out to the car, Tony. Those petrol cans you lot call drinks had me needing to pee like yesterday.”

Amused, Marshall shook his head at the comment, though his eyes were fond when he reached out to steer Rosie back over to him, “You need us to hang about, or?”

Rolling my eyes at his protective streak, I smiled and simply waved him off. “I’m sure I’ll survive a trip to the loo’s. I’ll try to make it quick.”

His lips thinned slightly but he acquiesced easily enough, navigating Z over towards the exit whilst I slipped into the nearest corridor dotted with bathroom signs. I was beyond grateful when I found the line not to be too long, just an older woman waiting for the end stall to free as well as a mother and her baby stood by the sink.

It was only once I’d dried my hands and fixed my hat in the mirror that I felt a slight prickle on the back of my neck. I looked up as the bathroom door swung shut behind the young mother to find a new face stood off to the right just behind me. I caught their eye in the reflection and felt my own snap back down rather quickly, pretending to not notice their sudden fixation as I casually wiped down the front of my hoodie and turned to leave.

It was a cough and then a light ‘Excuse me’ that had me glancing back on instinct, only to find the same girl suddenly right there. I blinked in shock at her sudden proximity and rocked back on my foot to put a bit of space between us, but the smile I gave her wasn’t unkind.

“Sorry,” She apologised, seeming to realise, though she didn’t look all that sheepish, even with having accosted me in the theatre’s tiny bathroom, “Just, can I get a picture and like, an autograph maybe? I spotted you by the register earlier, but lost you in the crowd.”

I never minded the odd signature and a picture was done easily enough too, but Detroit was currently supposed to be my best kept secret and knowing that this girl had already spotted me, likely with Em, didn’t do much to ease the sudden anxiety I started to feel. 

Still, I grinned, unable to turn her down, “Sure thing, maybe we can grab it outside though? I doubt you’d want a selfie in the loo’s.” I tried for a light chuckle and was pleased when she laughed around an excited nod, exhaling slowly.

So we headed out of the bathroom and I posed for a picture against the white wall there, smile drooping a little the longer she kept snapping away, having gathered a little under thirty or so different photo variations. I ended up signing her phone case for her afterwards though and was thankful when nobody else seemed to crop up and spot me. 

It was just as I’d done dotting the i in my name that she shifted ever so. 

“I never thought I’d get to meet you, but really, you’re like one of my favourite artists. I think I know your whole album off by heart.”

My anxiety eased at her sweet words and my smile was sincere when I handed her phone back to her. “That’s really lovely to hear. I know getting to see some of you guys here in The States is always a little up and down because of touring, so I’m just glad we got to meet.” I assured her kindly before lightly teasing, “Never had someone say hello to me in the toilets of a cinema though. Guess there’s a first time for everything.”

She laughed loudly and gave me a light shrug, “I’d say I was sorry again but I really didn’t wanna miss you, especially when I saw you out there with your boyfriend.”

My mouth went dry at her words, but the girl didn’t seem to notice, continuing to ramble on.

“Was that his sister with you guys, or yours? I know you have one, right? People say she’s a lot younger than you, but then they also claim she’s your kid too. The internet is so crazy sometimes. Still, he’s real cute from what I saw! Are you telling people about you guys soon or keeping it lowkey?”

I was grasping at straws trying to find words. To simply recall my media training and the lengthy speeches Mila had given me. But nothing sprung to mind. It was like a cesspit full of disease that ate each and every thought that attempted to grow. 

“I don’t mind not saying anything to anyone if you don’t want me to.” The girl tacked on shortly after and I would have figured that she had quickly gathered that she’d caught me by total surprise there, but she was looking at me so closely that I could easily tell it wasn’t anything of the sort. It was like an eagle scoping out their prey.

“Um,” I swallowed, before finally plastering on something like a smile, “No, it’s– He’s not my boyfriend, just a– a family friend. But yeah, I’d prefer it if you didn’t mention it. At all. Please.”

Her eyes were wide when she nodded back at me, but her lips were curled into an insincere sort of grin that plucked my anxiety straight back up out of the cage I’d wrangled it into. 

“Of course, you can count on me.” It was with that in which she tugged me into a hug that had her hand settling on my waist, before I forced myself to step back.

I knew my smile had to have been less than flattering by that point, but I nodded anyway and waved at her as I backed down the hallway and crossed the lobby in a light jog, pulling my hat down lower over my face. It was only once I’d made it through the exit doors that I hurried to swallow the cold air that immediately hit me, throwing a startled glance back over my shoulder when the doors opened again, grateful to note that it wasn’t the same girl.

My eyes scanned the parking lot and it was a second later that I saw Marshall step out of the car parked across the street, his face furrowed under the shadow of his cap as he waved me over. I went, but something must have shown on my own face because he moved to meet me halfway, extending a hand out towards my arm the second he could.

He dipped his chin to catch my eye when we came to a stop and I wondered why he suddenly looked so uneasy. “What happened?”

My eyes snapped up to meet his and I blinked, still somewhat startled, “Nothing, it’s fine.”

“It’s ain’t.” He insisted, “You look like you’re gone be sick.”

I blew out another heavy breath and forced myself to calm the fuck down, “Honest, it was nothing. Just me overreacting.”

Marshall levelled me with a look before he sighed, “I know you. You don’t over-fucking-react like this. What went on?”

“Marsh, please. It was just a weird, I don’t know, encounter.” I tried, attempting to look past him to the car, “A fan that said was a bit too friendly, you know?”

I watched his jaw twitch. “What, in the bathroom?”

I sighed and lifted a hand up to rub at my cheek, “Just, can we leave it? Please. I just wanna go home. I’ll tell you then.”

Marshall watched me for a long second and for a moment I really thought he was going to argue, that he’d push, but instead he just gave a minute nod and wrapped an arm around me to lead us back to the car.

Surprisingly, Em didn’t head straight for the passenger side door and so I was greeted by the bright grin of a lovely little face when he ushered me into the backseat, seemingly knowing I needed a friendly face right then.

“What took you so long!” Rosie exclaimed the second she saw me, already shuffling over to make room whilst Marshall helped me inside, lingering a second longer to make sure that I really was fine before shutting the door and moving towards the drivers side.

“There was a long line,” I dragged out with a teasing smile whilst Em started the engine, “Think someone had a bad batch of nachos or something.”

Rosie’s face wrinkled into a grimace at my words and so when I met Marshall’s heavy stare in the rearview mirror the anxiety I felt was already starting to ebb. He gifted me a soft smile and it was then that I knew how well and truly fucked I was, because my heart stuttered.

…

The peace didn’t seem to last long though.

Not when I woke up the next morning to a thousand different notifications and my face plastered all over TMZ.

[pedroshotwifey]

Without Words

This can be seen as a stand-alone but I count it as a part to two this fic

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader

Word count: 2.6k

Tags/Warnings: Oral (m), cock worship, piv sex, rough sex, choking, semi-public sex, sprinkles of feelings, age gap, face fucking, degrading names (affectionate), cum eating, stuff I'm forgetting

Summary: You want to show Joel how much he means to you...but maybe in a less classy way.

A/N: Hey, babes! I hope you enjoy this part! I know a lot of people wanted to see an update, so here we are <3

*****

It’s been another long ass day. You and Joel were able to pick up the same shift, but there was enough work for four people—which is not the norm for the job you’d picked today. It took you three hours too long, but you’d gotten it done. Now that you and Joel aren’t glaring daggers at each other anymore, you’re actually able to be productive. 

You walk hand-in-hand with him now toward your shared apartment. It’s been about a year since the two of you had caved into each other, and things honestly couldn’t be better. You’d had your fair share of fights—which is only to be expected with the attitude you both possess—but things have been good. 

You moved into his apartment a couple of months ago, since he kept having to sneak out of yours too close to curfew. He practically lived at your apartment, even though his was bigger, because he didn’t want to risk you walking home late at night. It was an effortless change for you. 

There was the issue at first about your age difference, and about how people might react when they realize what the two of you had become, but neither of you wanted to let that affect you. It’s the end of the fucking world, as Joel had put it, you both deserve to spend it with whoever you want. 

You look up at him, admiring the way he walks so confidently with you on his arm. Like it’s no big deal at all. It took a little while for people to stop giving the two of you strange looks, but even from the start, he had embraced your relationship with no shame. 

You haven’t even told him you love him yet. 

It’s more of an unspoken thing, you think. Something you show with gifts and actions and physical affection, because deep down, you’re both still broken people in the apocalypse, and you don’t want to admit that you have a weakness. That’s what love is, after all. Just another thing for you to lose. 

“Joel?” 

It’s only now that you finally lose your composure. All damn day, you’ve been distracted, and you can tell he knew that much, but maybe not exactly what the problem was. Maybe it’s that thought—that you haven’t told him how you feel. But you know that you won’t even now. So you’ve been caught up in other ways to show him, to tell him. 

You’ve been thinking about it all night. Ever since the two of you got home from your shift and he shucked his pants off to change. It’s not your fault, really. Not your fault the man has a massive fucking cock that makes a sizable, mouthwatering—and extremely daydream-able—bulge in his boxers. 

You’re not usually a weak woman, but. Shit. Nobody would be blaming you for what you’re about to do if they were in the position to do it. 

“Let me suck your dick,” you whisper up at him, watching his eyes go wide as he snaps his head left and right to make sure nobody heard that. 

The two of you had gone to the last dinner offered at the hall, so it’s pretty dark out, and it’s also been raining for the last hour or so. There are only a few people out other than you since it’s so close to curfew, but Joel’s face still goes a little red at your request. You can’t help but bite your lip to contain your smile. 

It really is funny how flustered he gets about you saying something like that when he’s the one who loves to talk about railing you in public. There’s not a single person under the canopy that you stopped under, but he still lowers his voice as he speaks. 

“Yes fuckin’ please,” he says through a scoff. “But you couldn’t wait to run that filthy little mouth until we got home?” 

You shake your head, smirking at him. You swear you can feel your heart beating against your ribs as you wait for him to understand your request. Your body is going hot from the pure want coursing through your veins. 

“I want it now,” you practically whine as you pull on his arm like a petulant child. His eyes go wide again.

“Now?” he asks, obviously a bit shocked at your sudden desperation. 

You nod at him, licking your lips. 

This time, you catch a small twitch from between his legs before you give him your best doe eyes. You glance at the dark, empty alley a few feet away from you, and his eyes harden. He glances around one more time, clutches your upper arm, and drags you into the concealed space. 

“Shit, baby, just be fuckin’ quick about it,” he mutters as he shoves you down to your knees. You smile devilishly up at him as your hands immediately fly to his zipper. 

You frantically pull them down, the zip getting stuck halfway due to the massive bulge pushing against the denim. Joel hisses and you whimper as you snag it down quickly, not caring if it breaks or not. 

The first time you saw him, you’d had a hard time admitting to yourself that it was the most gorgeous cock you’ve ever laid eyes on. It took a minute for you to understand that he wasn’t a threat, and only then did you allow yourself to appreciate the appendage to the degree that you do now. Since then, you’ve been sure to let Joel know just how much you love it. 

It makes your mouth water as you pull it out from his pants. Girthy and long enough to still almost scare you even at half-mast. You know how it fits inside you though, how good it makes you feel when he’s pummeling it into your sore, stretched cunt at full force. 

You want it to feel as good as you do, to feel the way your wet, hot mouth can wrap around it and slobber on it until Joel’s thick thighs are shaking with need to spill his seed down your welcoming throat. 

The feeling of one of Joel’s hands threading your hair between his fingers and pushing you toward his crotch pulls you out of your daze. 

“You gonna suck it or fuckin’ stare at it?” 

You shoot Joel an annoyed glance and squeeze him lightly in warning. You give in anyway, however. It really doesn’t take much. 

He makes a grunting sound as you take the fat tip of him between your lips, suckling the head and tonguing at his slit as your hand pumps the rest of him. You love the taste of his salty pre-cum on your tongue as you eagerly lap him, trying to get more. 

Joel pushes harder on the back of your head and bucks his hips forward—though you’re not sure if that part is voluntary. Your hand moves back to the root of him, holding tightly and pushing him so that he can’t shove himself into your mouth. 

You pop your mouth off of him, ignoring the string of spit that keeps you connected to his soaked tip. With heavy lids, you glance up at him to find that he’s staring back at you with a look in his eyes that can only be described as fiery. 

“Be patient, old man, I’m trying to enjoy myself.” 

Joel scowls at you. “The fuck you mean enjoy yourself? You’re suckin’ my cock,” he snaps.

“Okay, well I happen to really fucking like sucking your cock, Joel, so be. patient.” 

He rolls his eyes at you and leans his head back against the brick wall behind him. Satisfied that he’s stopped arguing, you go back to his dick, grabbing it so that the underside of it is facing you. 

You lean forward to lick up the entirety of it, coming down to suck and kiss at his balls every couple of strokes. Your head is going a bit fuzzy and your core is throbbing almost painfully with need. 

You can’t stop though, you love the feel of his silky skin on your tongue, the way it moves slightly with each pass of your mouth. You moan loudly against him, enough so that it reaches Joel’s ears through the sound of the heavy raindrops pelting the ground and buildings around you. 

He pulls sharply on your hair, but is unable to pull you away with how tightly you latch on to his thighs. You squeeze your eyes shut and just about double your efforts to ensure he won’t make you stop. 

“Gotta hush, baby. Sound like a fuckin’ whore, moanin’ on my cock like that,” Joel squeezes out at you through gritted teeth. 

“Yeah, but you love it,” you pull away just enough to retort.

“Damn fuckin’ right,” Joel smirks back at you as you get back to work. “Little s-slut just for me.”

When you lean forward this time, you take him fully between your lips, swallowing as much as you can to get him as deep as possible. You know you’re drooling, but you can’t find it in you to care, you’re far too drunk on his taste, his scent, the feel of his cock inside your greedy mouth. 

Joel groans as you suck harshly, resisting the urge to gag as you hold him in your hot mouth and fondle his balls. God, you can’t fucking get enough. You pull back again once you literally can’t breathe, but not before taking his balls into your mouth once a piece. 

“Fucking love your cock, Joel,” you tell him as you stroke him lazily. 

“I know you fuckin’ do, darlin’. Why don’t you show him how much? Make him feel good, hm?” 

You nod eagerly at him and put your mouth back on him, bobbing your head and using your hand to tightly pump what you’re not able to reach. Joel makes a choked sound and grips your hair so tight that tears spring to your eyes. 

The sounds reverberating through the alley are nasty, but it only turns you on more. Between Joel’s bitten-down moans and the sound coming from his dick being slammed down your throat, it’s a fucking symphony in your ears. 

“Shit,” Joel breathes from above you. “Want to be inside you, baby.” 

You shake your head as much as you’re able. You want his cum down your throat, that’s the whole point of this. Twin tears trail down your messed cheeks with the movement, but you keep going at a quick but steady pace. 

He grunts and pulls on you again, and this time, you’re forced to let go. 

“Joooel,” you whine, hands going out to grab at him, only for him to squeeze again and hold you firmly in place. 

“You fuckin’ quit that, now,” he commands, and you do. Albeit reluctantly and with a furious pout. His cock bobs tauntingly in front of you, throbbing and glistening with your saliva. 

“C’mon, princess. Up.” 

You continue pouting but do as he says, letting him haul you up so he can pull your pants and underwear down. You yelp, not expecting that part so quickly. The cool, moist air hits your heated core and you clench your thighs, making it more difficult for Joel to spin you around and shove you against the wall. 

He’s behind you again in a heartbeat, the tip of his cock breaching your tight hole as he presses his entire front to your back. You keen as he slides into you, the stretch making your toes curl in your boots. 

“See?” Joel mutters into your ear. “Shut you up quick, didn’t it?” 

You can only nod as he starts to move inside of you, your slick making it easy for him to build up a quick pace. Your fingers spread out on the brick wall as he grips your hips and thrusts harshly up into you, a sheen of sweat starting to cover your body at the force in which he’s using you with. 

He hits your g-spot each time, making you huff out weak little moans to mingle with his grunts. His heavy balls slap against you with each thrust, making a lewd sound against your soaked seam and sending shocks atop your swollen clit. 

You mewl as your orgasm starts to build, a warmth starting to spread throughout your entire body. And when Joel brings one hand to wrap around your throat, you just about lose it. He squeezes the sides, cutting off your airflow and making your head spin. 

You close your eyes and your senses hone in only on the feeling of his cock spearing into you, the way his grip is so hard on your hip that there are sure to be bruises in the morning. Your head rolls back onto his shoulder and he uses the opportunity to nuzzle your jaw. 

“So s-soft ‘n’ wet for me, ain't ya? Like soaked fuckin’ silk.” 

You whimper as much as you’re able, your body starting to shake as you get closer to the edge. Joel lets his fingers ease up from the grip he has on your throat, allowing air to sweep back into your lungs, and you explode. 

You moan obscenely as you cream on his cock, his hand moving to your clit to thumb tight circles and prolong your pleasure. Your hands move from the wall to grip hard onto his forearms. 

“That’s a good girl,” he growls into your ear. 

“M–Please, Joel,” you whine. “Let me swallow–I–” 

Joel’s dark laugh startles you, but he moves to give you what you want. He pulls his cock out of you, and you suddenly feel empty. You whine despite yourself, but are quickly distracted again by the way he spins you around and shoves you back to your knees, your pants still pulled down around your ankles. 

You watch him dazedly as he fists his drenched cock and then guides it back to your swollen lips. You taste yourself on him as he pumps his hips and glides onto your tongue. He places a hand on the back of your head again, helping you take him. 

“There you go, you fuckin’ cum-hungry little slut.” 

You moan, and you can tell that’s his undoing as the vibrations travel through his length. He shudders and groans into the empty alley as his balls tug up and he spills into your mouth. You greedily drink him down, gripping his thighs and closing your eyes as you focus on not spilling a single drop. 

He pushes your head down until he hits the back of your throat, waiting for you to gag before he slowly pulls all the way back out. You’re both sweaty and panting but you still open your mouth and tilt your head up for approval that you swallowed every bit of his cum. Joel watches you with parted lips and nods. 

“Good job, princess,” he tells you, and you smile. 

“Alright, baby, I gotta get you home before curfew,” he says after a moment. “Let’s get you cleaned up so it doesn’t look like we just fucked in a damn alley.” 

You grin at him and lift your arms for him to help you up again. You don’t tell him that it’s pointless to clean you up since you’ll just end up in the same state once you get home. If there’s one thing that will never dwindle in your relationship, it’s the insatiable hunger that the two of you harbor for one another—and all the messes and mischief that comes with it.

[cultofdixon]

That growling wasn’t a walker

Daryl Dixon • She/Her Pronouns • You can handle just one walker…or a few…or really, yeah. Daryl is in for a surprise • SFW/Smol ANGST • TW: Minor Injuries / Anxiety

Requested by: Anon

“It’s getting late, should set up camp somewhere”

“Go ahead and set it up” Y/N handed Daryl the few squirrels and one rabbit she caught, earning a confused look from the man. “Heard some walkers. Gonna take them out before setting up our trigger lines”

“Smart…just be safe okay?” Daryl reminds his partner always as she gave him a smile bringing herself close enough for him to meet half way for their lips to touch. “Don’t make me have to come after yea” a hint of a smirk peaked out when Y/N playfully smacked him in the chest before heading toward the low growling she heard.

Y/N went a bit further than she expected from where she was with Daryl. The sound grew louder so she half expected to deal with at least a handful of walkers. Nothing she can’t handle. She was starting to hear a different tone with the growling that it started to come off as animalistic.

“Hm…” Y/N kept her gun holstered and readied her hunting axe when it came to the bigger animals.

And boy. Wait til Daryl heard about this

She’s been gone a minute Daryl thought as he finished the fire and half the trigger lines, keeping the direction she went off to open so she wouldn’t trip and hurt herself. It’s happened. He’s learned his lesson.

Footsteps started to come clear and they were heavier than normal if they were Y/N’s. He knows it’s wrong but to be safe he readied his crossbow and soon enough her silhouette came clear. Daryl instantly glued his gaze to the amount of blood on her and tried not to think too hard about it.

“Rough kill?”

“Something like that—-Hey Daryl, have you ever like eaten a grizzly bear?”

That made him look up at her confused stopping himself from making a makeshift grill.

“Nah, be crazy to hunt a bear”

Y/N crouched down a bit to his level as Daryl got a clearer look at the blood on her noticing it was fresh and part of his mind went to she got hurt.

“Would you…say they’re edible though? Never heard somebody eat a bear”

“Anythin’ is edible if you’re hungry—-You gotta sit down let me look—-“

“Cool. I got bear for dinner” She patted her legs as she rose from the crouched position taking a few steps back before dragging a dead bear into view. “Son of a bitch put up a fight”

The man was speechless watching her drag this grizzly bear next to him and immediately sat on the other side taking out her knife about to start skinny when he stopped her.

“Sweets, we gotta get you cleaned up and make sure you ain’t too badly injured”

“I’m not. Just a few scratches and probably a gnarly bruise on my side from getting almost knocked off my feet but I’m good” Y/N plopped herself down and started to get to work, and Daryl helped her knowing if he quickened the process he can access her injuries.

It took a few hours and a bit of convincing, but here they were. Sitting next to one another enjoying some of the bear meat while the rest was wrapped up and hung up to avoid losing the hunt to what was hunted. Daryl finished wrapping Y/N’s arm in the last of the bandage he carried letting her finally have a full grasp on some of the bear meat.

“You’re crazy you know that”

“I’m hangry, let me enjoy this”

The archer rolled his eyes watching her eat and occasionally adjust the bear pelt laid on her shoulders. It was still unsettling that his partner took on a bear, not surprising because she can definitely handle shit but how she didn’t get help or even wanted it.

“Just wait til Michonne hears about this”

“She’s gonna be so proud” Y/N laughs a little to herself knowing damn well Michonne is gonna accuse Daryl of not keeping a close eye on his partner. Because she has a tendency of doing radical things.

Once they packed up and headed back home, Michonne wasn’t the only one to greet them back as she was accompanied by Carol and Aaron who both noticed the bandages and bear pelt on Y/N.

“Daryl, what happened?”

“We brought back a lot of game” Daryl states dropping the bag by Aaron’s feet as he immediately looked inside with a confused look.

“Uh. That’s a lot of meat”

“Captain Obvious over here” Y/N laughs, shrugging the bear pelt off and handing it to Michonne as she kept her attention on her injuries. “Hey, it lost the fight”

“You two hunted a bear?? You know how dangerous—-“

“Ha!” Y/N cut Carol off immediately. “We…”

Then all three of them looked at Daryl with a hint of anger and worry but the second emotion was more directed toward Y/N.

“She hunted a bear”

“All by herself”

“When she could’ve just left it alone” Michonne finishes only to roll her eyes to Daryl’s shrug of a response.

“She didn’t die”

“SHE STILL GOT HURT!” Aaron pointed out the obvious one more time as Y/N sighs patting Daryl on the shoulder.

“They are ungrateful to my hard work” and with that she made her way back to their place. Knowing damn well Daryl was going to get chewed out by the three and she wasn’t going to stay there for that.

[chanlixsbabygirl]

Hits Different | Lee Felix

Pairing: f!reader x Lee Felix Word Count: 1.7k Warning(s): mentions of excessive drinking (please be safe)

Oh my, love is a lie, shit my friends say to get me by. It hits different. It hits different this time. Catastrophic blues, movin’ on was always easy for me to do. It hits different. It hits different ‘cause it’s you.

Boys came and went. That was something that never seemed to change. One came and another followed and they never stayed for long. Not that you really minded. It was like ice cream. Eating the same flavor every time got boring after a while. Sometimes they moved on first, sometimes you did. Sometimes you had to skip town and block a number. Sometimes your number never even got saved in their phone.

Until Felix.

You were out at a bar. You told your friends that if Felix texted, you weren’t going to answer. Accountability, you told yourself. It wasn’t until you were walking home that he crossed your mind again. It stopped you in the middle of the sidewalk and you nearly vomited. What if he was out tonight? What if he was taking some other girl home? You didn’t like the way your stomach churned at the thought.

Felix didn’t text you. You stayed up late staring at the messages he’d sent you recently. Why not tonight? He usually had this night of the week off. Maybe there was a boys’ night? You should stop thinking about it. It was going to make your head hurt more than the killer hangover would in the morning.

You went out the next night and drank a little too much a little too fast. It was maybe an hour before you started talking about Felix. The little ray of sunshine that was also a storm cloud. You’d only been out for a couple of hours when one of your friends put you in a cab and sent you home. You didn’t make it to bed. You were laying on the couch when you heard the knock. It was probably one of your friends making sure you were home and not dead in a trunk somewhere, right?

You wobbled to the door, feeling the effects of the alcohol. You were almost certain your drinks had been spiked when you opened the door and Felix was standing there, checking his phone. Yeah, like he was actually at the door. You were definitely drugged. This was just a bad (maybe not the worst) trip.

“Y/N.”

The low purr of his voice brought you back to the very real man standing at your door, watching you sway back and forth. His eyes were focused on your face, but he could very much tell how unsteady you were. Everything became very real when his warm hand pressed into the small of your back, leading you back to the couch you had stumbled away from to let him in.

“What have you done, Y/N? You should take better care of yourself.”

“They shouldn’t kill off the main guy…”

“You need to drink water; you aren’t making any sense.”

“In movies, they shouldn’t kill off the main guy. He leaves the girl blue when he’s gone.”

Felix pressed the water bottle into your hand, brows knitting together at the sentences falling from your lips. He wasn’t quite sure what you meant.

“The bar kept playing that song. The one you played in the car the first time we got dinner.”

He was trying to make sense of the random bits of information you were giving him, and it was not going well. He could tell that something was agitating you, but he didn’t know what it was. First it was killing off the main guys in movies and now it was a song he had played in the car once.

“Why are you here? Didn’t text me last night…”

“I seem to have heard that you told your friends at the bar last night that you wouldn’t answer, even if I did.”

“I…you weren’t there last night.”

“A friend texted me.”

“I almost threw up in the street last night.”

“You need to quit drinking-”

“Thinking about you with another girl.”

“So you were thinking about me?”

“Didn’t want you taking her home…”

“Who, love?”

“The girl.”

He couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped his lips. You had convinced yourself of this non-existent girl he was taking home. He had been up half the night baking with Seungmin while Minho had tortured them and Jeongin with a horror movie.

“I wasn’t with a girl last night, love. Not tonight either. Just you.”

“I don’t fall in love. I never let them stay very long.”

“Really? Do you drunkenly ask for them until your friends send you home as well?”

“No. It’s different this time.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s you.”

Felix sat there in the quiet, processing what you had said. Everyone always said you lost your inhibitions when you were drunk, but he wasn’t sure it didn’t make you say things you didn’t mean.

“That’s silly.”

“It’s different because it’s you. It might always be you.”

That was the last thing you said before you finally passed out. You were still in your clothes, and you were now half draped over him on the couch. He kept replaying your words in his head. It’s different because it’s you. It might always be you. Surely you were just drunk and weren’t thinking straight.

He felt your hands, and he thought you were awake. But your eyes were still closed, and your breathing was still the same. He let your sleeping hands touch his face and his hair, and finally wrap around his own. You were warm. So incredibly warm.

You started mumbling in your sleep, and he tried to decipher it. “Argumentative.” How you got that out while asleep and drunk, he didn’t know. But you weren’t wrong. The singular time you’d come to the dorms, you had gotten into a heated debate with Seungmin about what K-Drama was the best coming out at the time. “Antithetical.” Felix had to look that one up. He was curious why you knew it, let alone were saying it in your sleep. “Dream girl.” The antithetical clicked when dream girl followed. The opposite of a dream girl.

“You could never be an antithetical dream girl, love.”

He kissed your temple before finally drifting off to sleep. You were no longer draped over him when he woke up. In fact, you were nowhere to be seen. He looked around, bleary eyed. After a moment, he realized he could hear water running. You were in the shower. That was good. It would probably help with the killer hangover he was sure you’d be nursing.

You emerged from the bathroom in a swirl of steam, dressed in a t-shirt and sweatpants, which were much more comfortable than the dress you had slept in. Felix’s hair was still messy from sleep, and his clothes wrinkled from the awkward position he’d slept in.

“Good morning, Y/N.”

“Morning.”

“Head hurt?”

“No shit.”

“I’ll make you breakfast.”

“You don’t-”

“I don’t have to. I want to.”

20 minutes later, there were pancakes sitting in front of you and Felix was still standing at the stove. You ate in silence, but the food definitely did help with the minor sense of nausea that had been present since you’d woken up strewn across him. He finally finished with the batter, sitting down next to you with the rest of the pancakes.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“About what?”

“Should I make a list? Getting drunk at a bar and one of your friends begging me to come see you. Telling me that you didn’t fall in love. Except it was different because it was me. Falling asleep draped across me on your couch. Calling yourself argumentative and an antithetical dream girl in your sleep.”

He could see your expression drop as he listed off the things the night before had let out. He was usually all for saving face and not hurting someone’s feelings, but he needed to know what was happening, and you were the only one who could answer that for him.

“Oh, and convincing yourself that I took a girl home the night before last and almost throwing up in the street over it.”

Your face burned at the details you very much had not intended to tell him, but apparently had in your heavily intoxicated state. Damn that stupid bar and your stupid imagination. You were so stuck on how mortified you were that you weren’t paying attention until Felix reached over to wipe a bit of butter from your lip. The touch sent you reeling.

“I��well, first, I expected you to text me the night before last. And I told my friends I wasn’t going to answer because I never let guys stay as long as I’ve let you. And then I was walking home, and it was too late for buses to come, but I had only had one drink, so I figured it would be fine. I wasn’t far from my apartment. And…and I couldn’t help but wonder if the reason you hadn’t texted was because you had gone out with some other girl and it made me feel sick thinking about it. And my friends were already planning to go out last night and I was supposed to go too and I…I drank more than I should. And they kept playing that song. All I could think about was you. And I guess someone sent me home and I didn’t make it to bed. Then you were there and I thought maybe someone had spiked my drink but you were here and…hell if I know what any of what I said when I was drunk meant.”

“Did you mean it when you said it was different this time. Because it was me?”

“I…I think I did. I’ve never worried about a guy finding someone else before. It’s always been easy to move on.”

“You’re not an antithetical dream girl.”

“What?”

“That’s what you called yourself in your sleep.”

“I can agree that you’re argumentative, but not an antithetical dream girl.”

“You had to come check on me when I was very drunk on a Saturday night. I don’t think that really screams dream girl.”

“I think about you in my dreams.”

“Those are nightmares.”

“What about my daydreams?”

“Daynightmares?”

“Never. Usually they end with me getting a kiss, and I certainly like that ending.”

[bisexual-horror-fan]

Bex's Blossom By Kate Winborne Annotations.

Hello, hello, hello! SO! This has been a project that I have been working on since August of 2022. I have been re-reading and annotating Blossom by Kate Winborne or @xmichaelmyers here on tumblr. I love Blossom, it is a fantastic book and when the hardcover update came out I just had to get it! So I did and when I did I thought why not write my thoughts out as I go? I have never annotated a book before. Kate didn’t ask this of me, I am not being paid, this is purely out of the sheer love I have for Kate, her work and these characters. So! Settle in and watch me scream in a spoiler heavy annotation of Blossom. Seriously I talk about spoilery things, if you haven’t read it and want to than please read the book first. 

I am going to annotate the next book After The Lamb Bites Back in smaller chunks as I go when I start reading it soon and will post them here on my blog so you can experience my going insane as it is happening! I will give notice and give this a tag if you wanna blacklist for spoilers! Now, under the cut, let’s get into it! Warnings for me being horny on main and discussions of heavy topics and violence and gore. (P.S. Food is a big thing in this book so I outline what I ate before and during and after my reading sessions to be extra.)

—

Starting at 7:41 PM on August 5th. Blossom Re-read of the hardcover edition. Dinner: Chili lime fish tacos with pickled red onions, salsa and chipotle mayo, drinking whisky and ginger ale over ice, snacking on while reading, salted caramel caramilk bar. 

What Kate wrote inside the cover is still so sweet. As is the foreword, so much love and so much excitement. 

Prolog:

The opening of the women watching their daughters in the park, still hits. That is the first thing from the book I ever read when Kate started posting and it still stands out so well. I want white wine and cheese now. 

It is wild how Kate can drop a fucking line about a throw away character, one we just meet, overdosing three hours later, someone we know nothing of and should not give a fuck about and are made to feel and care. Amazing, haunting, I feel bad for his son. 

THE WHORE IS HERE.

THE TREES KNOW MORE THAN THEY DARE SAY INDEED!

–

Chapter One

–

I love the description of us truly seeing him, it is so evocative. Also. I am weak. Professor Williamson, has such a good ring to it. 

Henry in the showerrrr. All of that is good but the man just going for it and getting off. Amazing image, ten outta ten. 

The man eating one packet of oatmeal and not even finishing it and whiskey for dinner while watching a nature show. This man. He needs someone to cook for him. I am that someone. 

The first sex scene of the book, Henry taking home a woman from Happy’s is short but vivid. A great insight into him. Henry is not satisfied by this encounter, to me, when reading it, the impression that she is seemingly so into it, so close and intimate, doesn’t make him feel comforted or seen, but rather the opposite. It makes him feel more hollow, more aware of the hunger inside of himself. This is one of the parts I kept thinking about knowing this re-read was coming. Henry is entirely unknowable, this woman and her illusion of closeness only serves to remind him of that. No one can know him, there are things about him that no one could ever understand and so he has to hide them, forget about the fact that he does NOT have the ability to allow someone so close to him or tolerate such vulnerability and honesty and emotional intimacy. What a lonely fucking guy. 

The detail of a single hair left behind that he curls around his finger until it breaks really stands out.

He’s got a new casssse!

—

Chapter Two.

—

The casual and consistent use and description of colours is one of my longest standing faves in this book. So effective! 

Henry shoving the bible into the nightstand out of sight? Fucking same dude. My guy!

The man packing the alcohol in his bag so fucking neatly to make sure it is safe. To then get drunk and pass the fuck out. He is not okay.

Ahhhhh this discription of The Town is so fucking good!

“-residing alongside the trauma that coated her tongue like honey, sweet as ripe tangerines, but bitter against the back of her throat like coffee grounds.”  I still think of this line often. It will pop into my head unbidden frequently.

—

Chapter Three.

—

Henry looking down at his medication with disdain before swallowing them down with cold coffee making me like, hey king you need to talk? Need your dick sucked? You know my number get at me.

I would eat at this hotel's breakfast. I really would. 

Blossom is officially here! Vanilla almond milk latte, as someone who has worked in coffee shops since seventeen on and off, reads as a very her drink. 

I have always really loved the description of Bethany. The detail of her avocado socks always stuck out. Considering the use of colour Kate applies throughout the whole book I know I should think of them being just the colour avocado, but part of me likes to think of them as printed with little cartoon avocados and that is cute as fuck and I love it. 

Blossom sees Henry for the very first time! God, the excitement I feel from this is far too much! 

“She wanted to crack him open like an egg, spool through his brains, his guts, burrow herself deep inside his roughness. As if there was a safety to it all. A home in all that damage.” The first line that really hooked me my first read and it still hits. It is a line just so full of, God, promise of so much shit to come.

Henry met Sophie and this time around, I feel differently about it just her saying that nothing bad has ever happened in this town is just, infuriating? On a deep level. Nothing bad has ever happened here? Really Soph? Not even in your own home? You fuck.

I am begging, begging the people in The Town to acknowledge the horrors in front of them as if I am Charlie Day in It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia ranting about Pepe Silvia.  

Sophie seeing Blossom staring and being like “Please, for once, PLEASE-” and Blossom being like “Ahahaha, no! <3.” Adore it.

—

Chapter Four.

—

Norman has arrived. He wants a steak before seven thirty. This man is an animal and not in the good way. Henry’s reaction is appropriate for once, I too, am disgusted.

Stop judging Sophie! The man BARELY eats, he needs all the nutrition he can get! Let him have his fucking raspberry pie and ice cream!

Discussion of the first two murders. Henry is much too excited by the prospect of a serial killer, which bitch, same?!

Henry going into the detail of the first real gruesome crime scene he was sent to like damn, DAMN! FUCK KATE!

Henry talking shop! About the pattern, how confident, talking about the killer being addicted, the parallels. Mannnn. 

PROLONGED EYE CONTACT!

Finished reading for tonight at 10:11 PM. 60 pages covered this first session. 

—

Wednesday August 10th. Second session. Starting at 9:20 Pm. Off tomorrow. Dinner: Peanut and sesame noodles with chilli oil and green onion. More whiskey with ginger ale over ice. Snacking on hot cheetos and a crispy caramel kit-kat while reading. 

—

Chapter Five.

—

Oh the HOSPITAL! YES!

Tv is on a cooking channel because of course it is. 

Henry just cutting the small talk short asdfghjkajshglakhdg, “Take me to the bodies FRANK-” And Frank being like “If you got the stomach for it.” Like Frank. Honey. You know nothing of this man. 

Henry being totally unfazed by the smell of the dead. This man is not okay. (This will be said many times throughout this.) 

Why, why, why do I love this passage so much? Talking about how Henry looks over the body? The image is so crystal clear. It is almost like I am in the room. Like I can smell the bleach as I look over his shoulder, watching as he inspects the cadaver below him, watching how the bright harsh lighting catches on the cold thick blood clotting between his gloved fingers? I can see Henry at this moment. Like I could just reach out and touch him. How can something like this be written in a way that is so telling, so intimate yet so detached? It is captivating as hell. Just like Henry himself.  This was another moment during my first read though that made me want to know more about him.

“Coffee, yeah. Thanks.” That is such a human moment that just reeks of reality. A phrase I have heard uttered a million times in my line of work and I can hear how it was said perfectly. The little details really make this. 

Shit coffee indeed, let me make this man a good cup of coffee PLEASE-

He needs a fresh body!!!

—-

Chapter Six.

—-

Man is so particular about his coffee honestly I love what it adds to his character. It says SO much by saying so little. 

Oh my God and Mr.Clemmington was a cook.

Henry hating small talk makes so much sense. What an asshole. Love him.

Name drop! Blossom James ooooohhh.

“Anyway, I hope no girl in this town is capable of such a thing…” Oh giiiirlll. You don’t know shit about shit. 

Henry taking his pills with leftover coffee with cigarette ash in it like SIR can you PLEASE take care of yourself even just a little?!

Henry, you need more than dry cereal for dinner. 

—

Chapter Seven.

—

Henry’s breakfast, coffee, cigarettes and fucking twizzlers apparently. 

Watching him at work is captivating. Henry rattling off what should be done and in what order is justttt a sickening delight. What a freak.

Ethan is missing. And Henry is a little too defensive. “I didn’t say anything.” Mmmhmmm. You didn’t have to. 

—

Chapter Eight.

—

Henry deadass like “We are looking for a body-” and Norman just, “Oh you’d like that sooooo much wouldn’t you?!” Uh. Yeah. Duh dude, he’s the worst. 

Ethan and Blossom went out, eh? Oooh boy. 

This chapter is short but so fucking gooood. I love how they haven’t even formally met and he is getting frustrated by her! The build up and teasing before we really get to know her is just so fucking delicous.

—

Chapter Nine.

—

The description of the hotel’s restaurant is another stand out. I can imagine myself sitting there, smelling the vanilia of the candles and partaking in the food, almost as if I can taste the vegetable medley myself. 

I love Blossom's dress, periwinkle is an underrated colour and the meaning of her wearing it here, tonight, during their first official meeting is not lost on me and the impact is strong.

They are sitting, they are talkING-

Blossom clearly has thoughts about Ethan. I can hear the bite of the way she says ‘Golden boy’ and it is telling. 

“Henry.” Whore. Him. Not her. He is the whore. Like call me Henry, the fuck IS that?! Asking her to use your first name? Mmm? Already so informal? Like a slut? Have you no shame?

“Picky with your food.” “If you’d call it that.” The TENSION! I’ve already read this before but I am still so like !!!!

“-he just didn’t fuck me anymore.” girl fucking say it. 

“Do you like me Henry?” I mean fuck how could he not?

Oh mannnn another masturbation scene hell yeah baby! Unlike the first one this one lingers for longer and it is good. The idea that he doesn’t even necessarily enjoy the act of this, it is a means to an end, an annoyance, it’s a mix of anger, of disgust, of maintenance, of hatred, it’s this balance that is just so fucking right. The idea of hating the act of this is just, so interesting to me. Not just from a narrative perspective, not just for the way it lets us into Henry’s mind, but because it is so utterly different and conflicting from my own personal feelings about the act. Not even the act as he is doing it but my own relationship with it on a deep and personal level, the differences between he and I, they don’t divide me from his character, if anything, they intrigue me further, beckoning me to know him. 

“The taste of her name as sweet as the frost-glazing of a strawberry filled cake, flowering in his chest until it choked him.” Pure poetry. Gorgeous. Perfect. Another stand out line. Makes me think of so much, the images of digging my fingers into a pretty little decorated cake, of ripping and tearing and splitting it open simply to destroy something beautiful, to mirror what Blossom is already doing to Henry in such a short time, to then just lick the mashed and sugary strawberry mixture of the filling from my fingers, just because, flit through my mind while reading this line. What is this book capable of? The things it can conjure up cannot be understated. 

Hot, hot, hot. Love he was still half dressed and just spills himself onto the sheets. 

—

Finished second session at 10:53 PM. 45 pages covered in the second session. Word count over 2K now. 

—

Such a large break happened because of me leaving my previous job, moving into a new town and starting a new job, better late than never, I am back on it!

Starting this session at 11:02 AM on January 17th, a Tuesday, I have the day off today. Breakfast was cereal, I am having ice water and no snack because I will break for lunch soon. 

—

Chapter Ten.

— 

 I adore the description of Blossom’s house, it is so clear that just like all things Kate writes, a ton of thought was put into every detail. 

More food, this reminds me I should make meatloaf again soon,

“Seeing the Agent made her hungry.” I fucking LOVE. 

“Breathing out with the softness of a flowering bruise, tender and hesitant.” Kate I simultaneously want to kiss and punch you for always doing this! You throw out just the best fucking lines so damn casually. As if we are roommates, I finished a long day at work, sitting at the kitchen table and you just stride into the room, drop one of the most profound things I have ever heard and then just waltz off back to your own space as if it were nothing and I am not left changed and struggling to contend with what you just forced upon me. That is what lines like this feel like and do to me. Does that make sense?

And here it is, another real heart stopping and revealing moment of what makes Blossom her. You just know from the jump that there is something more to her, and this passage makes it abundantly clear and makes you feel for her. While I personally have experienced my fair share of this sort of thing in my own life it is of course, like a lot of stories, different from what she has but my heart goes out to her. Why can’t Blossom use, abuse, and take from these men as they have taken from her? Why not?

This chapter isn’t long but it doesn’t need to be, it is honestly very necessary and I love the look into Blossom alone and at home. 

—

Chapter Eleven.

—

Man fell asleep still dressed and cum covered. What a fucking whore, what an inspiration, what a guy. How down bad am I, do you ask? So bad that I read this and my first thought was, “I could fix that. Fuck the shower, I have a mouth-” With all the coffee he drinks, his alcohol problem and the smoking his cum must taste terrible. Still wouldn’t stop me.

I love this so much. Having Blossom showering in the last chapter towards the end and Henry at the next towards the start and difference in how they do even down to the temperature they prefer, amazing. 

Back at the diner, another meeting, more tension and of course, more food. It is impossible to read this and not get hungry and also slightly nauseated at points, it is beautiful. 

“-reached for more, satisfying herself in front of him.” I fucking canNOT. 

I love any scene with them talking back and forth.

This is so fucking good, she is getting to him so easily and just how unapologetically she is eating. Also, “But you’re not sorry. Why would you be?” Might be one of my fave quotes so far, it stuck out my last reading as well. 

Interrupting Henry when he immediately assumes the killer is a man and her fighting him on it. 

“Don’t underestimate the rage of a woman, Special Agent.” YEAH HENRY! And maybe it WAS a threat. What are you gonna do about it? 

Invite Blossom to the search part apparently.

—

Chapter Twelve. 

—

I feel it is important to mention at this juncture that I cannot read in silence so I have on a thunderstorm in the woods audio going and it feels just totally perfect for reading this

Henry runs through the details of the practised lie of what happened between him and his wife with a shocking amount of detachment, but not that shocking for him.

Mr.Whitmore you should learn to like, I dunno, lie better. 

The cropped tea and pink bell bottoms is unironically one of my favourite Blossom looks described in this book. 

This conversation, the back and forth and talking about favourite colours, their characters really shine here, another stand out moment. After having read this once before Henry saying “Blue” and knowing what will come later, I had to put the book down for a moment, and not just to type up this annotation. 

“How old are you, Blossom?” “Eighteen.” Old enough to legally...Vote. But on the real again the tension in this scene, sharing the cigarette, the closeness, just THIS. 

A body has been discovered! 

Blossom admitting she doesn’t feel anything upon seeing the disgusting corpse is just so fucking good. 

Chapter twelve was fucking great, I forgot how much happened in this one chapter, a total fave. 

—

Chapter Thirteen.

—

Blossom and Henry are just lying to police now, alright, alright. 

Short but to the point, I enjoy the small details in this one. Describing the grotesque nature of the body especially was very effective. 

Also the forgetting a clipboard and letting Blossom write on his back, cute, realistic, adore it.

Course you can’t pass up a fresh corpse Henry you fucking freak. 

—

Chapter Fourteen.

—

The entertainment centre! I remember simply adoring this next chapter, I am excited!

Grilling Mr.Whitmore on why he works here occasionally. Henry you are so, so transparent and projecting really hard here. Being so critical with him being so close to the teenagers when what are you doing with Blossom? You woke up splattered in your own cum after passing out post-nut, post-jack sesh thinking about a certain eighteen year old blonde, remember? 

More Henry and Blossom talking <3

“Oh, come on. You can’t deny that…You don’t look at all these…Preppy, skimpy seventeen and eighteen year old girls and don’t think about when you were that age with the impulse control of a twelve year old.” HENRY! 

“No. I don’t. Because I’m not seventeen, or eighteen anymore, Henry. And neither are you.” “Doesn’t mean I still can’t look.” He is so fucking gross. And yet…

I do feel for ol Norm here but at the same time he really does need to let Henry do his damn  job. 

“We’ll see if the Coopers are ready to talk and resume the work on Monday. I’m sure the killer will understand.” What a note to go out on Henry damn.

A knock on the door? This late? Who could it be? I ask having fully read this book before.

I was right by the way, this chapter was so good and so engrossing.

—

 Chapter Fifteen. 

—

Of course it’s Blossom who is here. Obviously. Who else?

Naturally she comes in. 

Absent mom and a dead mom. Gotta love two people with mommy issues getting together. 

I find myself unable to pull away during their conversations, they are just still so engaging to read. That being said, “Why don’t you like white wine?” “I’ve always preferred something stronger. Something that bites.” Oh I bet you do.

She’s making the move, SHE’S MAKING THE MOVE-

The description of Henry here, hands up, not looking at her, trying very, very hard to maintain his composure and will and not touch her. Oof. 

They are kissing! This is where it all starts to really go tits up and I am so here for it.

“We shouldn’t be doing this-” Oh but you’re gonna Henry, you are, we all know it just do it!

He really is trying here, and he does make a good point, they shouldn’t get involved with each other like this but that is part of what makes it so good!!!

She isn’t wearing any panties. 

Man is done for. 

And he gives in! Get it Henry! I wish that were me. Who in this scenario? Like a true bisexual. Both. 

Just going for it and with no protection! Henry, you animal. 

His garden. This whole section is phenomenal. People could learn a thing or two about writing sex scenes from reading how Kate does it!

Kate’s work is just mind blowing. It is incredible how she writes the differences between Henry and Blossom post their first time together. For him feeling like he can breathe for the first time in years and her imagining becoming one with the forest, consumed with rot and dying like the way they view sex and each other is so intensely fascinating. It just so interesting too because I have felt like Blossom has, chest feeling scooped out and hollow and empty but never relating to sex, reading this book with just how different my perspective on physicality with another human from there's never bores me.

“RISE AND SHINE, ASSHOLE, NEW DAY! AND LOOK AT WHAT YOU’VE DONE NOW!”  That is just this book and Henry’s life all over, huh? A good alternate tagline. 

Ahhhhh a dream sequence and such a fucking good one! The imagery in this is immaculate, the one that stands out to me the most is the mention of Blossom’s hair in a high ponytail tied with a pink ribbon, so fucking good and so clever. Blossom becoming a literal monster and tearing him apart, what do you think it means Henry? C’mon, THINK!

Another fantastic chapter, of course.

—

Chapter Sixteen. 

—

He is making her breakfast. Also blueberry pancakes are in fact the best, I will not take criticism at this time. 

“Colour me impressed.” My gesturing to a board covered with papers and tacked with pins, red strings connecting seemingly random things and moments, “It all comes back to COLOUR! IT’S ALWAYS ABOUT THE COLOUR! DO YOU SEE-”

“Yet, there was still nothing ever as tooth-rotting as Blossom James.” I am punching the air!

—

Chapter Seventeen.

—

Her being so excited to see him oh my GOD. “I missed you.” “You always miss me.” Things that happen between me and my husband all the time, no word of a lie.

Planning secret meetings ooooooh.

“I want you to do exactly what you wanted to do the day we found Ethan.” Blossom. Have I told you lately how much I love you?

Also I love the little jump here. The few weeks and the mention of just how many times and places they have fucked thus far, they have clearly been very busy. 

Fucking right next to the scene of the crime, extremely risky but also, extremely hot.

This is all fucking amazing. The depth, the feeling, Blossom’s and Henry’s worry and doubt and hungry fervour for one another being so all consuming constantly. The question of how does this end is a good one to leave the chapter with.

How will it all end?

—

Chapter Eighteen.

—

Kate describes kisses in a million ways and I am here for all of them. Preppy and sickening or otherwise. 

This man smokes. So fucking much my God. Third read I should do a cigarette counter. 

Henry drinking and getting sloppy and good ol Norm comes to the rescue. 

Bro. Dude. Asking for Blossom in your drunken stupor is not going to help anyone or anything my GOD DUDE!

He is such a fucking messss.

—

Chapter Nineteen.

—

Yeah you forgot your shit at the bar you fucking walking embarrassment of a man Henry.

I’m part of the Abby fanclub. 

I really like Sophie and Norm interacting. It totally reads that they have known each other a very long time and I love the easy and playful air between them both very much. A joy to read. 

The suspensions are not misplaced Sophie, not at all.

Blossom comes by to bring a lot more than just coffee in this scene that is for damn sure. Norm is really trying to give Henry the benefit of the doubt and struggling. I think he is almost trying too hard to convince himself but as he told Sophie before, what else can he do?

Another great chapter with more tension. I am stopping for now to break for lunch. I am thinking of an egg salad sandwich. It is 1:34 PM. I covered 110 pages this round, over halfway through the book. This has been the longest session so far and the doc is now over 4,000 words. 

—

It is January 29th, a Sunday, it is 12:31 PM, I have the day off and the laundry going as I sit down for this session. I had a sleep in and a late breakfast of an open faced sandwich consisting of egg and honey ham with chive cream cheese and hashbrowns. Water and no snack again. 

—

Chapter Twenty.

—

Blossom is having a party and again, I love the outfit described here, it is one of the first ones I think of, totally iconic and so her. 

Blossom in the bathroom with some fucking guy and this guy, Kyle, God, I hate him. Hated him the first read, hate him this one too, what a complete shit stain. 

I hate and love how real this is. It is just so fucking sickening because it is so common and happens all the damn time and has happened to her how many times? I wish Blossom would, I wish she would rip his teeth out, or scream or something but I know all too well what can happen in these scenarios and why she doesn’t. God, Kate, stop being such a good writer all the time damn it!

This is the kind of part that makes me want to reach in the pages and kill Kyle myself. Reminding myself he is a fictional character means nothing because Henry and Blossom are fictional too, you know? But the feelings they make me feel are real, what I get from reading this book is real and while they aren’t real living breathing people, Kate writes them so well they feel like they are. Even if they are fictional and I am real and I cannot touch them in a tangible way, this asshole, Kyle is fictional just as they are and therefore can and chooses to do harm and the threat of Blossoms hurt by him feels so sharp I could cut myself on it. 

“Did you cum?” Kill yourself Kyle you pathetic rapist fuckwad. 

Mr.Whitmore why are you at a high schooler’s party exactly???

“Rather, there was a tenderness to his bruising touch.” Kate. Girl. I am eating this line. Crushing it up and snorting it, need it in my bloodstream. 

The drama of it all, neither of them can communicate properly at all like just please can you for once be normal. I say as if I don’t love them at their absolute worst. 

—

Godddd what a fucking chapter, so good, so much happened but not enough to feel like overwhelmed by it, you know? Stellar as to be expected.

—

Before. Technically Chapter Twenty-One.

—

The wife is here. Cindy, poor, poor Cindy. Love the pjs tho.

Siiiigh, you too Henry? I say as I read him about to force himself on his wife as if I have not read this before.

This scene is so hard to talk about but I want to talk about it, you know? Like it is very intense how unintentional it seems to be, he didn’t come home planning to kill his wife, it isn’t a big premeditated thing, also I love how real this is. How he is so comfortable, so sure everything will be fine and cares so much about what he wants or feels he needs that he has no regard for her and pays the heaviest fine for it, her death, being the one that killed her. But also, even though we see him leaning on booze and pills and the rest, the man is still alive, he still goes on living, walking free after he did that.

RIP Cindy, we hardly knew you and you definitely deserved better.

—

Short chapter but it is deff supposed to be, gets across just what it needs to and it hit hard and is insanely effective.

—

Chapter Twenty-Two.

—

Blossom got into the car and now after a short but tense drive they are having a conversation and this conversation my Lord! Henry is totally upset that Blossom is right by the way, she knows he likes how she looks next to him and how she makes him feel but he’s all “oh I’m so much older, my job, my station, my morals-” WHAT MORALS HENRY?

Also Henry has a point, Blossom James does have main character syndrome and is just constantly inserting herself into the narrative but she is fucking interesting as hell and I wanna see her all the time so damn Henry let her live!

“You know nothing about me.” Mmmm don’t be so sure Henry.

Blossom is again correct, you wanted to fuck her from the moment you saw her, don’t deny it you mess of a man!

Him hitting her !, her nose bleeding and her smiling up at him with fucking red teeth, !!, the description I never get tired of reading ever of her being a predator of equal conviction !!!!!!!!!

Like I could go on and on about this section just it is so fucking good! Henry’s complex and swirling emotional state consuming him so thoroughly and being unable to control himself around her! The conflicting wants and feelings and him being just thoroughly unequipped to deal with it all! They are a car crash I cannot look away from, nor would I ever want to. I stare and let the images of them tangled up in a gory flaming pile burn into my retinas until the fumes of spilled gasoline make me literally pass the fuck out. 

Me dancing in my chair as I read how Henry wants to kill and main Blossom, just a nice Sunday afternoon.

Henry saying he doesn’t want to fight her. Like I don’t believe you again Henry,

They are fucking in the carrr! Which like yes, hot, get it, but also, Blossom are you good?

Henry chasisting her over smoking, like, dude. For real?

Blossom calling him Daddy, him calling her disgusting and shotgunning smoke into her mouth, her being so fucking coy and pleased with herself, “And you love it.” Like yeah he does and so do I! Do it again!

Blossom asking him to the fucking dance! THE DANCE IS COMING! AH!

Henry of course you can’t go to the dance you old fuck but also her teasing him about going with a boy her own age and him getting so angry over it has me so amped, like the playfulness on display here it is just all a game to her!

—

I want to make this chapter breakfast in bed and then smash the coffee mug over its head before giving it a big ol kiss.

—

Chapter Twenty-Three.

—

Chinese food late at night in a hotel room sounds so fucking good right now it is unreal.

Okay but now I need a disgustingly detailed section of how exactly Henry eats pussy or do I gotta do that myself? I can do it myself! I just need to know, we know I can deliver it too. I just gotta think on it.

Blossom asking to get choked by him like girl you don’t know what you are asking of him! He CAN hurt you! He wants to! You are meddling in forces you do not understand!

Every little piece and look into Blossoms past is so fucking sad. She has been through so much I hate it. 

Must every guy in Blossom’s life suck so fucking hard?

Also the milk and honey thing coming around and around again is so fucking perfect and apt and slots into this story fucking amazingly well.

Blossom making him breakfast! I would eat what she made, it sounds fucking good honestly.

Another amazingly described kiss that is so fucking perfect I ache.

—

Another banger of a chapter my God I feel so full and spoiled during this re-read.

—

Chapter Twenty Four.

—

Why are all the suspects older dudes? Hum. I wonder.

Also Henry dressed like a total slut today, we love to see it!

Someone who hangs around the younger guys and girls. Man, I wonder who he is thinking of!!!

I could listen to Henry go off about this kind of thing forever, Freud or otherwise.

Stacy do be Stacy though that is for damn sure Norman.

Norman inviting Henry for dinner and asking him for a smile that turns out to be so unsettling that he is just straight up like nevermind please don’t ever do that again oh my God. Perfection. Hilarious. Whenever and I do mean WHEN, not IF, the movie or tv series or whatever adapt of this happens, that detail needs to be left in.

Blossom out alone with a bunch of boys in the woods and drinking, a horrible idea really.

I can hear the “I wasn’t gonna let them do anything, I was just playyingg-” in my head and it is great. Also sure, Blossom.

This girl will not stop running her mouth to save her life. You are gonna get you and Henry in so much trouble!

I don’t blame Sopher for hating Henry, man is always acting suspicious.

And so it comes out again! Henry I think you do have it out for Whitmore and I think it is because you see an uncomfortable amount of yourself in him at times and refuse to acknowledge it. But also yeah Whitmore is really weird, keep an eye on that guy.

Ooooof. Norman laying it down, like he knows what is up! He isn’t dumb Henry! “I hope to fuck I don’t.” Hits so fucking hard.

Man I do not like Sophie but that is totally a ME and my issues thing because she is right about a lot of this.

—

Another fucking awesome chapter, the scene with her in the woods and Henry coming by is another stand out in my mind I find myself thinking of often. 

—

Chapter Twenty-Five.

—

Henry finding the old pictures of Blossom on the fridge and wondering what made her so “hard” like man if you only knew.

God, the imagery you describe Kate everytime it gets to me. Reach into her brains and feel around, discover what is really wrong Henry do it!

The girl was just fucking waiting for him! Also the lingerie sounds cute as fuck.

C’mon Henry we both know you are gonna fuck her, just do it my guy. 

The give and take between them both, the constant fight and unease and just inability to just exist without conflict. Man do I love it. 

Blossom calling him daddy has me feeling some kind of way.

The choose to kiss me thing has my in knots just it is fucking fantastic Kate just truly something else.

The softness and the not wanting to be so vulnerable but being unable to help it.

—

Finished this session at 2:31 PM. Stopping at page 288. I covered 73 pages this time around. The doc is over 5.5K words. Less than 100 pages left to cover. The next annotation session might be my last. Excited to finish strong!

—

It is January 31st, a Tuesday, once again it is my day off. I have less than 100 pages left to cover in Blossom and I am going to attempt to complete the book and the annotations this session. For breakfast I had a fried egg sunny side up on a single slice of buttered toast, topped with green onion and everything bagel seasoning. No snack as I am planning on lunch today, perhaps mac and cheese? I am drinking a country peach herbal tea out of my mug Kate sent, “The Trees Know More Than They Dare Say” stares back at me as I put on more thunderstorms in the forest sounds at 10:56 AM and this new reading session begins.

—

Chapter Twenty-Six.

—

I don’t think I have mentioned it until now but Henry smoking Marlboro’s just makes like way, way too much sense. I can see him holding the classic iconic white and red and gold pack in his hand very clearly.

Henry staring into the forest and wanting to lie down and rot and let it all overtake him in many a similar way that Blossom has is so interesting. Also it makes me wonder like are they just this similar? Or is something up with this forest in particular? But then I remember all the time I have spent in forests and that they are just Like That.

Henry plays nice at the dinner with Norm’s family and I love the honesty of him telling Norm when asked, that he doesn’t give a shit what he thinks but what Stacy thinks actually matters. Good shit, consistent with his character and just an awesome detail. 

Norm filling in Henry on the ‘rumours’ and him brushing it off as just that. Henry is understandably very upset as am I!

Another shower, him gripping the sink and staring at himself in the mirror, again, reminiscent and similar of Blossom earlier. 

Talking about her perfume being on his coats and his pillows, and then this, “She was everywhere. Infecting him.” She so is! I love how slowly it happens but how clear it is here, how much she is burrowed inside him and has affected him so heavily, she has set up camp inside him and he isn’t even fully aware of how much she has. I am obsessed. 

“He felt as if she was the biggest mystery of all.” Fucking cut, print, beautiful note to finish on. Another moment I can see put to screen.

—

A fantastic chapter, seriously so many good smaller details, thoroughly enjoyable yet again,

—

Chapter Twenty-Seven.

—

This chapter is only about two pages but what a two pages. 

Two pages of Blossom breaking down after expecting Henry to reach out and him not, her sobbing, clawing at herself and drinking. The descriptions here at the end, of so desperate for relief you hurt yourself immensely in the process, willing to tear till you see bone just hoping for a moment’s peace, goregous. 

—

Ethan, or, Chapter Twenty-Eight.

—

Another very short chapter, describing Blossom in the cemetery and Ethan following her there. The conversation is brief, him saying she shouldn’t be out like this, him affirming that it’s not girls like her that are dying, it’s boys like him and him assuring her that he can “bench 200” so the guy will have his work cut out for him. Okay, nice attempt to flex Ethan /s. But this last line is the stand out to me, “-and Blossom let her head fall back, snaking her arm around his shoulders and closing her eyes, engulfing him.”  Phew. Truly a banger.

—

Chapter Twenty-Nine.

—

Oh my God this is it, this is the chapter, the long, extended dream sequence. I dunno if I am ready again! This part is so intense but so good. Okay, okay, be cool, here we go.

We kick off with a wonderfully descriptive scene of Henry eating, frantic, hungry, desperately trying to satisfy himself, right? Eating meat, drinking red wine, eating pomegranate, and it’s all fine until we pull away to see that he is actually eating Blossom. And not in the way we have seen before, we are talking full out, full on, raw, animalistic, cannibal style consumption. 

It isn’t enough and it will never be enough as he feeds and eats until there is literally nothing left of her, going so far as to consume bone, marrow and cartilage. 

He reaches back in and instead of finding warmth and hopefully more food instead he finds a nest of baby spiders and I get a chill every time I read this part ugh!

This image is the best. Henry trying to fight to get the spiders off, almost tripping and then Blossom, still dead, reaching out, catching his wrist and holding him there, mouth opening and dark legs of a much larger spider reaching out from the darkness just- my GOD. Horror, pure, horror, goodness.

Tea update, I have gotten so distracted reading and annotating it has now gone cold.

The dream shifts suddenly to Henry being in front of and then going into Blossom’s house in search of her, the hope that he will find her safe is one that I cannot share with him because Henry, awake or asleep she is never safe with you.

The description of the room in total disarray is fantastic and also again something that one can picture so easily. 

Blossom is dead and Henry is holding her and sobbing and I am FEELING!

Him crying and apologising is everything. 

But, it was all a joke because all of this is a big fucking joke to Blossom, even pretending she is dead all for him to discover. 

“Does it make you feel good? Tearing those around you apart? Destroying those that care about you?” Go off Henry. But also yeah Blossom, does it?

“I’m sorry.” “No you’re not.” - “You never are.”  Fucking snaps Kate. 

This moment still fucks me up, Henry realizing that he is dead on the floor, has been watching himself this whole time. 

“Are you going to hurt me like you hurt her?” She asked. “Do you want to hurt me Henry? Do you want to kill me too?”  This whole scene, this whole sequence is indescribably good. I wouldn’t want them to cut a single moment or movement from this pure gold. 

Words are failing me.

He’s awake!

The bitch is back and she is drunk.

I have read a few reviews that claim the work of Kate and this book in particular to be ripping off Gone Girl, calling it plagiarism, especially for this next part. Blossom, drunk and a mess giving a speech, a rant, going the fuck off about the awful treatment of men and expectations thrust upon her and all women and that just pisses me off. The reviews, not her speech, her speech is great. I hate that reviewers see a woman giving a speech about mistreatment, and the entitlement of men and look at Kate and her work and compare her to Gillian Flynn negatively.  Because don’t you know there can be only one book like this? Only one story delving into the rage inherent to the feminine? Only one book can have this kind of character, this kind of story, everything else is clearly a copy, a cheap imitation, instead of insulting and making unfair and frankly incorrect claims, looking at the broader picture. These reviewers look at this and compare instead of seeing that both these stories and many more like them can have their own spot in the conversation, and can co-exist. And the biggest point of all, maybe, just fucking maybe, the reason there is multiple stories, conversations, rants, characters like Amy and like Blossom is because what they are talking about, what they preach has distinct truth and basis in the reality of the experience of tons and tons of women and that is why it hits and resonates. 

Also Henry thank God you stopped yourself from saying that shit because holy fuck no one is ever asking for it ever.

Henry not believing female rage, like alright bud, sit down.

Blossom’s feelings are so valid here. The want for people who have harmed you to see how they have and understand it and share that feeling. It is fucking powerful, this whole section is!

“Would you kill to take back your power?” Henry, you are getting closer to getting it. 

The way I need this whole scene filmed yesterday.

Blossom’s got a fucking gun. The first time I read this my stomach dropped. 

This scene with her holding the gun to him is so tense.

Kate you could write about the issues with women only becoming empowered in media through abuse and hurt from men for hours and hours and I would eat it up. Oh shit, wait, I already have. I’d do it again. 

I like to think for sure a part of Blossom wants to stop this, wants to be ‘normal’ wants to love as Henry describes but again, the constant mistreatment from everyone all her life prevents that. How can she just swallow back all this hate and not let it poison her? How can she just move on from that? It IS like saying that they won, she becomes another person standing idly by, a part of the problem. 

Finally she falls asleep and the chapter ends.

—

This is my favourite chapter in the book by far. I could scream on and on about it more than I already have, the dream sequence I could read it and go line by line diving in deeper I swear to God. I gotta hold myself back in some places though. 

—

Chapter Thirty.

—

A hard and tense conversation is had once Blossom wakes up in the morning.

Henry keeps on choosing her, she didn’t ask for it, true but he isn’t unreasonable in wanting her to choose him back and some proof of this. 

She clearly doesn’t want him to go, but he does. 

She usually has cold showers but takes a hot one in an attempt to understand. I could never take a cold shower so Blossom girl, I do not understand you in that respect. 

—

A shorter but extremely emotionally driven chapter that hits the spot after the last one.

—

Chapter Thirty-One.

—

Blossom asking for some help with her photos.

Oh my God Mr.Whitmore you fucking creep. Yeah I will look over your photos for the end of year project, how about I bring a bottle of wine along?! You sick fuck I hate you.

She is eating once again, drinking once again, watching a nature documentary and wishing she as the wolf and the prey all at once and I am still just so fucking captivated by it.

Yeah those Barbie commercials suck, I’d turn off the TV too.

—

Chapter Thirty-Two.

—

We finally got another body hoooo boy! 

Again tied with a pink ribbon, again many, many stab wounds, throat slashed this time, leaving him to choke on his own blood. 

I afforded myself a ten minute break at this time to grab an ice water and make lunch, I sit back down with my mac and cheese ready to eat and read. 

The killer is being unorganised and cocky, in broad daylight no less?

A school ID at the scene of the crime!

A frantic call from Blossom oh my God!

Mr.Whitmore is with her and when Henry gets there he is dead and she is holding the knife.

Her sobbing about how she lost control is haunting knowing what we know. Knowing how important control is to her and this is why she is doing this, convincing herself whenever she is being hurt or used she is still in control it is like what happened? The tension!

—

My mac and cheese threatens to go cold at this rate because this book, again even on the second readthrough, is so captivating. 

—

Chapter Thirty-Three.

—

Blossom is in the hospital and Henry is there with her.

The girl has been really fucked up my God. 

Norman is totally a bit salty and mad at himself that Henry was right this whole time about it being Mr.Whitmore. 

Love Henry describing the motif of the pink ribbon representing Blossom, just, real good.

I really, really like Norm and Sohpie’s interactions, again the air of how long they have known each other hangs heavy.

Of course it actually happened Norm. Come on. What kid lies about that?

—

Another chapter in the books that I love, a big smooch for this one.

—

Chapter Thirty-Four.

—

We are finally at the dance hooo boy.

The theme of the dance being love, gag me. 

Henry is here like she wanted! 

Be still my heart she is wearing fucking blue. SHE IS WEARING BLUE!

It’s all like a dream, an actually good one for once Henry, a rarity for you I am sure. 

They dance and yeah all the parents watching on like uhhh? Hilarious, like shut up you don’t know them like us the readers do!

And they leave the dance togetherrrr. God I love them way too much for how bad they are for each other.

Back at the hotel, much making out and getting drunk together.

He wants to rip away the blue and bury himself in her pink oh my fucking-KATE! I love you.

Blossom is that girl. Drunk all like, “I wanna go swimming!” And fuck I felt that. 

Kate could write something just listing colours over and over and I would love it. 

Of course he doesn’t want her in the pool. She wants him in the pool with her, so she drags him in, naturally.

The build up of what you think is going to be a steamy sex scene poolside ends up with Blossom breaking down and man my heart hurts. 

—

This chapter is just so well paced AND well placed, you know what I mean, it is just mwah, amazing, very needed, tonally it flows so well.

—

Chapter Thirty-Five.

—

It’s summer, a month after the dance and Henry pays Blossom a visit. 

We get to hear some of her statement and mannn. It is just, fucking pitch perfect, immaculate. 

“I want to love you…So badly…” - “But?” - Blossom didn’t answer.  I am ripping my own hair out oh my God. 

Blossom is so empty inside, nothing there at all and so she instead of dealing with the internal pain, she seeks physical pleasure.

Okay this next sex scene, so fucking good, just I love the juxtaposition of the flowery language with harsher terms thrown in there, it is through the whole book and it feels like it sums up Blossom the character insanely well. 

“In return, Blossom gave him exactly what he needed, at the same time, taking exactly what she wanted. A perfect balance.” Can I get this line tattoo’d on the inside of my eyelids as well as marry it?

—

Chapter Thirty-Six.

—

Post fuck our fave creep Henry Williamson watches Blossom shower and I wish that were me.

Oh he is smoking less look at him!

“He wondered if this could last forever.” Doubtful. A nice thought though. 

You’ve been here how many times and you only look around her room now? Alright. 

Of course you go for her underwear drawer you little freak of a man! 

Henry finds an envelope and in it a series of pictures of the bodies, of the crime scenes but they aren’t copies, oh no they are originals and very different from the ones he has seen previously.

A delectable little cut back showing Adam Hall from the start going to the woods for a run and Blossom following after him oh my God.

—

And just like that the book is over. It is, amazing, truly a gripping read even the second time. I noticed more, picked up on more and really loved it even more. Blossom being the real one behind all this is fantastic, well played and woven without it feeling shoved in your face or obvious and reading it now after the first time knowing she did it was a trip! This book is fantastic, I could read it over and over and I intend to! It plays like a movie, I love the characters and it is just phenomenal. I cannot recommend it enough. Seriously everyone needs to read this and then review it afterwards I am begging! Kate, this book is just, ugh, so special and something so different and I am just totally enamoured with it and you and how you write. In case this 8.6K document didn’t express that already. Thank you again so much for this story and now I can’t wait to read After The Lamb Bites Back!

[xoxo-bunnydumpling]

"You know...I didn't think you'd actually show up."

He's pulled away slightly from a hell of a kiss and my brain isn't quite working yet.

"But I live here."

He drops his head to rest on my shoulder, hiding his face. "I meant for our first date. When you rang my doorbell I was so shocked I kinda couldn't even move for a second."

He had taken longer than I thought someone should take to come open the door and let me in and I thought for a moment I had the wrong house and then I guess I kinda just assumed he'd been in the bathroom. It takes ME forever to pee...

"And then by the middle of it you were brave enough to kiss me..."

He raises his head and kisses me just ever so softly, lightly and I can't help but think of how much like our first kiss that was. If he had nefarious intentions that evening he kept them completely to himself.

"It began to feel...emergent."

I've always wanted to know, but have never asked, why the hell he decided he liked me that day. It's not terribly important now that we're married and having a child together but I ask him anyway.

"Have you ever met someone that's just...you feel like they were always supposed to be there and it's just straight up wrong that they haven't been?" I can only nod. If I try to say anything I'll cry. "So, um...thanks for showing up."

We sit for a minute, killing time until dinner. He's sat back, and I've tucked into him with my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat and feeling just so astoundingly lucky that it does...that he's alive, that I met him, that he actually likes me.

"So..."

"Hmm?"

"If you liked me straight away, why didn't you try to...ya know, put the moves on me?"

He laughs. "I DID kiss you."

"Yeah but..."

"But? If you had asked me at any point during the evening I would have been 100% willing."

Oh.

"Okay so suppose I just walked in after you FINALLY opened the door and was like they nice shirt, wanna fuck? What does Hot Librarian say to that?"

"I mean...that's the best pickup line I've ever heard so yes, let's go ahead and do that."

So I compliment his shirt, and he seems pretty game until he hears my stomach rumbling and our daughter starts kicking at the hand he has resting on my belly. "Okay okay, let's go. I actually did have something planned and am not just trying to dazzle you with my dick."

After dinner (sushi that he didn't fuss about me eating), COFFEE (that he also didn't fuss about), and a walk through the park to take in the Christmas lights while fog descended on us like a Silent Hill holiday special, he stops me under a tree. "You told me you loved me for the first time right here."

"You said it first."

"And everyone thought we were getting engaged. Speaking of...I think we should get married." He had a look on his face just then...the chaos face, and I decide to "yes, and" him to see where he's going with it.

"Yeah probably should since we're having a kid and all."

That's about when he got down on one knee and pulled a box out of his jacket pocket. People are definitely watching and I wonder if the contents are similar to the last ring box he presented me with a couple months ago: a keychain with a telescoping penis on it. But when he opens it, it's not quite so lewd but just as funny...a stretchy ring from a claw machine, shaped like a duck. To accommodate my swelling fingers, no doubt.

"It will fit, guaranteed."

"You're early. It's not even our first date yet."

"I got impatient. So what do you think? After Lyra's born we could go somewhere nicer than the courthouse. Make it a whole thing."

I said yes to the duck. Yes to him, again. The man is extra as fuck but that's part of his charm. On that day, a year ago, we talked on the phone for two hours and I had absolutely no idea any of this would happen. But I was so taken by how easily he laughed, how genuinely nice he seemed, how he was obviously just a little nerd boy, and how even after two hours we were reluctant to let each other go.

I still don't want to. Every night I kinda wish we didn't have to sleep, that we could just stay up talking for days. We never seem to run out of things to say to each other, and every morning I wake up and look over at him I'm so excited to have another day with him in my life. It's been such a great year and I'm looking forward to forever more.

[misschf-aisa]

I’m trying to sleep and I’ll tell you the sleep is fighting me. Apparently I need to spill a little bit so my brain and heart can have space to sleep and refill. As before, I choose Tumblr because the post will disappear in the way it should but I still feel like someone somewhere maybe read it.

It’s a hospital thing. This hospital thing always begins with the cramped and crowded parking garage where the all too plentiful extended cab trucks stick out into what is supposed to be a two way street and pedestrians who are dazed by whatever trauma brought them to the hospital have a tendency to walk right in the middle of the lanes. I drive a Fiat, but sometimes in this garage even I have to reverse and cut the wheel sharply before my little car is safely between the lines of the parking space.

2023 I did this dozens of times. Countless times. Mom was in the hospital again, Dad wouldn’t leave her side. A few days, she got to go home, I took him to chemo, she still had the drainage tube connected to her colon but she was okay and he wasn’t losing his hair.

I finally get parked and walk into the elevator bank that’s just inside from the parking garage. It doesn’t matter what floor I’m parked on because there are only two floors that will get you to the patient rooms in the other tower. The 6th floor is also the floor all the babies are on. It’s the place I gave birth to my first child over 30 years ago. I prefer to go all the way down to the first floor and walk the long hallway past the information desk and gift shop and security to get to the elevators I need so I tan go up to the 9th floor where Dad is right now.

The hospital floors are terrazzo, which makes me think if one of my favorite house flipping shows that takes place in Florida. They’re always so excited to keep a good terrazzo floor.

There are 6 elevators, but it always takes forever for one to get to the first floor. Almost always I’m standing waiting with a bored hospital employee on their phone, or a nervous family trying to pretend they’re not nervous. Sometimes if it’s just two of us on the elevator they’ll tell me a story, like the woman who was so grateful she’d gotten her man here in time when she realized he was having a stroke. Everybody in the hospital elevators who isn’t an employee is super friendly. Most of the employees are too.

Someone invariably gets off in the 7th floor. That’s the ICU, of course. Last June I spent an entire week practically living on the 7th floor in a freezing room. I was in the padded bench so Dad could have the hospital recliner while Mom fought the confusion of having had a stroke when she woke up from surgery and she couldn’t talk or move her right side and there was a horrible tube in her nose that she used every ounce of cleverness and willpower to try to remove for the entire week Dad and I kept watch over her.

It was important for me to get there around noon because Dad’s chemo required that he eat well. I don’t know what he did in the hours when I went home at night, but I know he ate lunch and dinner. And chemo was going well.

When I get off of the elevator on the 9th floor - Dad’s in room 946 - I lose almost a full year. I’ve been up there twice now and both times it’s the same. The 9th floor is where they treat patients with strokes. Dad didn’t have a stroke, they don’t think, but they worry there’s something weird in his brain so the stroke floor is a good place for that. Mom had a stroke, though.

Dad and I carried the bags that had accumulated while he basically lived in her ICU room. She was transferred up to the 9th floor. We were talking about rehab and next steps and then I hugged my dad, told my mom good night, and went home happy and hopeful for the first time in over a week. It would be tough, she was still unable to talk or move her right side, but we’re pretty tough too so we’d get this handled. She wasn’t in the ICU anymore, and they’d bring hospital food to my dad now that he was staying with her on a real floor. I planned to stay home the next day and let my son sit with my dad.

Of course, the next day she died from complications from the surgery she’d been there for in the first place.

So now Dad is the one in the bed. His problems are super different, they’re certainly not as acute. But I walk those halls surrounded by ghosts from a year ago. The beeps and chatter from the nurse’s station, the way the hallways smell, the sounds of random television shows as you walk past room after room. The view of Swan Lake and downtown from the window in Dad’s room. It’s different, but it’s the same.

Thanks for letting me vent, I think I might just be able to fall asleep now that I’ve given it to you, whoever you are.

[alreadyjackbestfriend]

can you write something about the reader and jack getting into a super bad argument about fame getting to his head? let’s say he’s treating the reader differently, not prioritizing his family, etc. (not that he’d ever do that ofc 🥰😂)

just another celebrity

GENRE: angst

i think i didn't really like how this turned out, but i really hope you do😭

---

“I’m so sorry Maggie” you told your mother in law after you finished your second glass of wine.

she sighed, "it's not your fault, dear"

“I still feel guilty, it was my idea”

“this is only jack's responsibility" she reaffirmed, putting her hand on top of yours on the table, giving you a warm, but sad smile.

A few days ago it had been Jack's birthday, and you thought that the best thing was that he celebrate that day with his friends, and that on the weekend, he could have a quiet dinner with the two most important women in his life: his mom and you.

Thing is, Jack hadn't shown up.

“should we order?” Maggie said, taking you by surprise. You had thought that after her son stood her up, she would just want to go home.

“oh, I thought you wanted to go home" you confessed.

“we are already here, y/n, in nice dresses, in a nice restaurant, let's not waste the opportunity”

You smiled sadly at her, “okay” you nodded.

after having dinner with jack's mom, and doing your best to keep it from being a sad evening, you came home exhausted and upset. This wasn't the first time Jack had failed you in this way, and you were starting to get frustrated. Also, you never imagined that he could also fail his own mother.

--

You were already sleeping when you felt Jack's body fall onto the bed with a thud, not caring if he woke you up or not. You didn't turn around anyway, and when you felt him kiss your hair and wrap an arm around your waist, you could only clench your jaw and force yourself back to sleep.

The next morning, Jack was still in the same position, and you removed his arm from your waist without any delicacy, however, Jack continued to sleep as if nothing had happened.

you showered, put clothes on and went down to the kitchen to make yourself breakfast. when you sat at the kitchen table and started looking at your phone while you ate, you came across some photos that made you abruptly drop your spoon.

Last night you had felt anger, but now you could feel the sadness closing your throat. As you watched Jack surrounded by celebrities at what appeared to be a second birthday party, you wondered if that man smiling in the photos was the same man you fell in love with.

You began to remember the last few months, all the times that he had been late, all the greeting kisses that he had returned without taking his eyes off his phone, all the nights that you had slept alone because he was at a party that he couldn't miss because there would be that celebrity and that celebrity.

all those times it hurt, but never like this. You know it was DRAKE, you know it was DOJA CAT, and a bunch of other celebrities, but were they more important than his mom?

you kept looking at the photos in case you found Urban in any of them, or if he had taken some, or maybe some members of PG, but nobody was, so... his best friends weren't invited either?

“morning baby” Jack's voice made you jump, and he kissed your hair without even realizing it, quickly turning to the fridge to get something to eat.

“where were you last night?” you replied, not bothering to greet him. You could see his brow furrowed as he looked back at you.

“in a party?”

“And, by any chance, did you have your phone with you?”

“where are you going with this?" he asked, as if he was already bored with the conversation.

“we had agreed to have dinner with your mom last night, jack. we waited for you for almost three hours”

“I don't remember when we agreed on that, y/n, but I'm sure mom will understand, I'll call her in a bit”

“yes, she will understand, but not me”

“please, y/n, let's not make this bigger than it is” he replied, rolling his eyes.

you opened your eyes wide, not believing what he was telling you. "You really don't care about standing us up for hours? Don't you feel even… a little bit of guilt?" you said, gesturing with your hands.

"I'm sorry, babe" he said, but anyone could tell that he was just saying it out of commitment, you didn't see a bit of regret in his eyes, he wasn't even trying to sound believable.

"I... I don't think I recognize you anymore, jack" you said almost in a whisper, and you saw how he snorted.

"you're really making a drama, y/n"

"I don’t think so. The Jack that I knew had his mother as his number one priority, he had his usual circle of friends that he took everywhere with him, if he had commitments with the people he loved, he would arrive on time. The Jack that I met at least took his eyes off his cell phone when he greeted me"

"I'm still like that, y/n, I can't believe you're doing this scene for one mistake!"

"one mistake? one mistake?” you said, beginning to breathe heavily, as you stood up from your chair “and what about everything else I just mentioned? what about dinner with my parents a month ago when you were an hour late, or when I broke my foot three months ago, but you found out the next day because you didn’t answer the damn phone?!" you said, touching his chest with your index finger with each word, in an accusing way. After months, your frustration causing you to vomit words without being able to stop, “oh! and how to forget when you arrived drunk at your brother's birthday and fell asleep on the couch because you had been celebrating I don't know what with fucking Adam Levine! can't stand that guy, by the way” the last part almost made jack laugh, you were so angry that you didn't even care anymore if you mentioned things that had nothing to do with the matter, "oh, are you amused? So you still don't understand everything I just told you?"

Jack had never seen you like this, and with your last sentence he began to realize the seriousness of the situation, but not completely. he tried to hug you and tell you he was sorry a thousand times, but you didn't let him.

“This is not going to be fixed with a couple of kisses and a gift, Jack... I think I've put up with too much… you are not the person that I fell in love with, the kind, the humble and nice man that I fell in love with. Now you're... now you're just another celebrity” you said, before walking out of the house, leaving Jack confused and heartbroken on the kitchen floor.

-----

i think i found out yesterday about adam levine's infidelity… i live in a country that hates him so, DID WE LIE? 💀

[lokis-army-77]

What Would I do Without You?

Eli Sunday x female reader

Word Count: 2907

Eli comes back from asking Daniel Plainview for money and Reader cleans him up after an eventful dinner

Warning: Angst, Smut, fluff

Inbox is open

Masterlist Taglist form

It was a quiet Monday afternoon on the Sunday ranch, not much was going on except for the oil being sucked up from the earth about a mile or two from the main farm. Eli, my husband, had gone out earlier to talk with Mr. Plainview about the money he owed to him and the Church. That had been a few hours ago and the sun was getting lower and lower in the sky.

Everyone else was there, Eli’s two younger sisters, Mary and Rose, and his Ma and Pa. Dinner was on the verge of being ready when I heard the familiar footsteps of Eli walking along the dirt path to the house. Quickly I took my apron off and tossed it onto the counter.

“Rose, dear, can you serve the food while I go check on Eli?” I asked the oldest sister, not waiting for a response before I rushed out of the small kitchen.

I threw open the door that led into the main living area of the house and there in the darkness stood a tall figure. Quickly I took the lamp that was hanging from the side of the porch and went out to meet the figure on the path. When he came into the light, a gasp of horror left my lips.

“Eli? What in the world happened? Why are you covered in mud?” I hastened my steps to him and sat the lamp down on the ground. Rising back up, I lifted my hands to his dirty face, not caring if my dress or hands became as soiled as he was. The only part of him I could see clearly was his piercing green eyes, which were full of cool burning rage. He never answered me, but the soft yet firm squeeze his hand gave my hips was as much of an answer as any.

He was pissed and not even I could calm him down right now. So, I released him and wiped my hands together to try and dust off the grime before picking the lantern back up and leading Eli back into the house.

The chatter of the family suddenly stopped when everyone’s eyes fell on Eli, who strode in with his shoulders back, posture rigid, and sat down silently at the head of the table, across from his father. I took the seat adjacent to Eli, beside his mother and in front of Rose, Mary sat diagonal to me.

The only sound that was made was when I tried to end the silence by saying grace, but after the prayer was over, still no one talked. Everyone started to eat, all except Eli, who stared down at his father. Knowing what mood he was in, I didn’t try to make him.

Minutes passed and Eli was the first one to break the uncomfortable silence.

“You are a stupid man Able.” His voice was soft as he addressed his father. One by one we all stopped eating and looked between the two men. They were both hard-headed so there was no telling what kind of outcome this would bring, especially with Eli as angry as he was.

“You’ve let someone come in here and walk all over us.” Eli kept going, his voice scratching towards the end of his sentence. I watched him in concern. He was struggling to keep calm, the tears pooling in the corners of his eyes were testament to that.

“You let him in and do his work here and you are a stupid man for what we could have had.” Still, Eli kept calm, not once blinking as he stared his father down.

“I followed his word, Eli. I tried.” Able replied, looking more bored with his son than anything.

“You didn’t do anything but sit down. You’re lazy and you’re stupid.” Eli stated matter of factly.

A sinking feeling started to bubble up in my stomach as I watched the two nervously. Sure they had fights but never were they as calm as this one. Something was about to blow and I was sure it would be my husband but all I could do was sit and watch this unfold.

Eli paused for a second before speaking up once again. “Do you think God is going to save you for being stupid?” The question went unanswered. “He doesn't save stupid people,” the word ‘stupid’ was practically spat out of Eli’s mouth.

My stomach clenched as Eli stood abruptly from his seat. The wooden chair scraped along the floor making a horrific sound in the quiet house. All I could think was ‘Here it comes, he’s snapped.’

Then all of a sudden, Eli was on top of the dining room table, crawling across it on hands and knees, reaching for his father, who in his surprise, didn’t move until it was too late. I and the other women hurriedly stood from our own seats and gathered in the corner together, watching in shock as Eli took his father to the floor.

None of us said a word as Eli yelled at his father for being a ‘stupid man’. Able did nothing to throw his son off, only tried to beg him to stop but Eli would not listen. He only covered his father's mouth with muddy hands and continued reprimanding his father.

“It was your stupid son. It was Paul who told him to come here, I know it.” His voice became a whisper for a few moments, I could no longer hear what he was saying to his father, but I knew it was more about him being a stupid man.

Then, as if nothing happened, Eli stood up and paced his way over to where I was standing with his sisters and mother and took my hand, pulling me from our huddle and out the door to our own small, room, house just over the hill.

I said nothing as we made our way to the tiny cabin, letting Eli have the walk home as a time to hopefully cool off.

When we finally stepped foot into our home, Eli let out a strangled breath. He closed the door behind him and because it was dark, I couldn’t see him slide down to the floor, but I could hear him and the chunks of dried mud that followed.

Hastily, I found a pack of matches and lit the gas lamp on the table beside the door. I bent down to my knees and reached for Eli's hands, which were covering his face.

“Eli, sweetheart, we need to get you washed up. You’ll feel much better if you do.” I tried to coax him up to his feet but he would not budge. He only sat and shook his head sighing.

“Why?” he asked after a moment. “Why is it always me cleaning up his damn mess?” He moved his hands to where he was holding mine instead of the other way around. “Paul finds a way to mess everything up, even when he isn’t here.”

I scooted in closer to him on my knees, taking my hands and wrapping them around him, nestling him into me. “It’s okay Eli, you are doing your best with what your brother has done.” I tried to comfort him.

We stayed like that for a while, I rested on my knees and Eli cradled into my chest. I rocked us back and forth trying to find a way to soothe Eli’s nerves.

“He slapped me.” He stated, anger entering his strained voice. “He slapped me over and over and over again. He humiliated me.” His jaw clenched and held a fierce grip on the skirt of my dress.

“Who?” I asked calmly, “Mr. Plainview?”

“I just want the money he owes the church, owes us. That’s all I wanted, but he hit me.”

“Shhh, it’s okay.” I caressed his matted hair.

“I-I-I told him to let me bless the well. None of this would have happened if he would have let me bless the god damned well.” He pulled away from my grasp. “Daniel Plainview is nothing but a heretic, a vile, evil man, and I will see to it that God enacts his revenge.” Eli’s words were full of venom as he stood to his feet. But, when he turned to me, reaching out his hand to help me up, his face showed no such expression. Like he had reset his emotions and was now the warm loving husband he had always been.

“I’m ready now,” was all he said as he started walking to the back porch, where the wooden bathing tub was.

He silently took his ruined clothes off as I filled the tub with well water, bucket by bucket. When the water level was just under a third of the way up, Eli climbed in and started to cup water into his hands and scrub the dried mud from his body.

I poured another bucket of water onto his head and watched as dirt-filled water wash down the only clean parts of his skin, which were once covered by clothes. We both worked in silent unison to get him clean, I with the soap and his hair and he with a cloth and his body. In no time, he was clean and standing, shivering on the porch as I rinced the dirty water from him with more buckets of well water.

As he dried himself off with a towel, I made my way inside to light the fireplace. Eli followed soon after, bundled in the towel, and sat in my rocking chair directly in front of the fire. Passing by him, going towards our bed in the corner of the room, I gave him a long kiss on the lips before going to dig out a clean nightshirt for him.

“What would I do without you here to take care of me?” He asked sincerely, looking into the flames.

“I wouldn't like to think of all the trouble you would be in, you get into enough as it is,” I say, handing him the linen nightshirt.

He stands, letting the towel fall to the floor, and slips the long shirt on before slowly striding toward me. He cradles my head between his two slender hands and brings himself down to kiss me tenderly. Pulling away, he rests our foreheads together and I bring my hands up to hold onto his wrists.

“Lord knows, I’d probably be somewhere in hell if it weren't for you.” He smiled down at me.

I shook my head. “Don’t say that Eli. I don’t want to think of you dead or in hell.” I pulled him into another kiss. “Why don’t you help me out of my dress?” I let go of him and turned around, feeling his hands wisp themselves away from my face, hover just slightly over my body, and then land on my shoulders once I had completely turned around.

He moved my loose hair from my back to lay over my shoulder before gingerly unbuttoning the three buttons at the neck of my dress. His hands then trailed down my body to the strip of matching fabric that acted as a belt. He untied it and threw it over the back of the rocking chair.

“Raise your arms.” He told me and I did. He pulled the dress over my head and left me in just my light cotton shift. Gently, he grabbed my waist and turned me around. “I love you so much.” I had no time to answer him before he was kissing me with a fever I had never known.

He pressed us together hard enough to where I thought we would merge into one. I stumbled backward as he pushed forward into me. Eli only let go of me when the backs of my knees made contact with the bed, I fell onto the soft mattress and eyed him as he towered over me.

“Eli, please,” I said breathlessly, reaching out for him. Standing above me he took his nightshirt off, he looked so handsome in the half-light of the room. Finally, he crawled onto the bed and up my body, bringing the fabric with my shift with him, lovingly pulling it over my head and tossing it god knows where.

He sat back on his knees and just watched me for a moment. My skin prickled with goosebumps, the air was cool, even with the fireplace only a few feet away.

“You’re so beautiful.” He fawned, running his hands up my stomach, eventually moving them to gently hold my breasts. His head came down to place kisses along my stomach as well, causing me to writhe beneath him.

“Eli,” I huffed out. “I need you.” My voice was barely a whine.

He said nothing as he kept massaging my breasts and kissing up the trunk of my body. My breaths deepened as his mouth came closer and closer to where his hands rested. Not knowing what to do I placed my own hands in Eli’s damp hair, trying to pull him up to my mouth.

An almost pained gasp left his lips and his hands suddenly snatched my wrists, pulling them away from him.

“Don’t, not right now.” He shook his head. Although I was confused I listened. He went back to kissing and sucking my skin.

Finally, he made it to my breasts and as he lifted his right hand from my left breast, I pushed myself out for him, waiting for his mouth to encompass the most tender part of my chest. When he did, a lust-filled moan crawled its way out of my throat.

“Eli, I need you in me, please,” I whined out again, more desperate this time. A dull ache was thudding between my legs and in my abdomen. An ache only Eli could cure.

“Patience is a virtue, my dear. Wait and I will give you what you want.” He promised as he switched to my right breast.

I couldn’t wait though, the ache was beginning to be too much. So much so that my hips started to involuntarily buck up into Eli’s. I felt how hard he was, how the heat radiated from his most vulnerable part and caused another loud moan to escape me.

“Okay, okay.” Eli sighed, letting go of my breast with a dull popping sound. He shifted up more and looked down between our bodies. I placed my hands on his shoulders and waited for him to line up with my entrance.

A deep guttural moan came flowing through Eli as he pushed his way inside me. The initial stretch of him was enough to make me yell out in pleasure.

“Eli!”

“I know. I’m almost there.”

He pushed in some more and bottomed out against me, his hips now resting against the flesh of my thighs. He rested there for a moment, allowing me to become used to his intrusion.

“Go. Go now.” I pleaded to him, resting my head on his shoulder. He pulled his hips away from mine and pushed back in, slowly at first but then his rhythm became faster.

We were a two-person choir of gasps, moans, and yelps. My noises of ecstasy perfectly harmonize with his grunts of lust.

I flung my head back into the mattress when he hit a place deep inside of me, making my body spasm. His lips found my neck, sucking and kissing as he moved within me.

I was close to coming undone and I could tell he was as well, with the way his hips would drag every other thrust.

“Keep going, I’m about to cum. Eli, please don’t stop.” I practically cried out, arms reaching down the expanse of his back, nails digging into the smooth skin.

“I know, I am too.” He groaned into my neck.

I tried to hold on, I really did, but when a particularly hard thrust hit the deepest part of me, I came apart with a scream of Eli’s name. My legs wrapped around him, keeping him from moving too much as my body convulsed under him. I was so caught up in my own pleasure that I didn’t even notice he had also come to his end.

His hands caressed my legs, unwrapping them from his waist, and slowly pulled out of me. I whined at the feeling of being sensitive but also for the loss of the feeling of being so full of him. My eyes were closed, but I could hear him moving about the room as I lay in our bed.

Jumping a little, I tried to move away as the feeling of a cool wet rag wiped over my thighs and the area between them, but Eli held me down, cleaning up the mess we had made.

“Eli?” I reached a hand out for him.

“Hum?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” His hand came up and brushed over the side of my face, moving the stray strands of hair. I felt his lips press against my temple. “Go to sleep, I’ll talk to you in the morning.”

I only nodded my head, too exhausted to talk or open my eyes. The last thing I remember before falling into a deep sleep was Eli’s hands pulling the covers over my body and him climbing into bed behind me.

Taglist: @yutasgem @brookeworman @salty-thembo @m2051 @flutterskies @letshangourselves @ghiacciosdiscordkitten

[highdramas]

the world’s a little blurry | b.b.

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

warnings: none

word count: 2107

summary: bucky is home, and he is yours

note: this is a one shot for now, but i definitely have more ideas for these two <3 this’ll be heavily inspired by tfatws so this is a spoiler warning for anything mentioned! also this is my first time writing bucky so pleaseeeeee give me some mercy lol

enjoy! <3

it’s nearly three in the morning, and you’re lucky if you stay up past midnight, so bucky makes a point to be quiet as he tiptoes into the apartment. after a mission gone awry in the apartment building where you had been neighbors, you’ve been staying with the superhero. something about not losing you and you’re safest here. bucky’s not stupid— caring about someone is a gamble, and it had become clear to his enemies who exactly it was that he cared about.

living with you came lots of things that bucky was not expecting. first off, you’re very cluttered. you call it controlled chaos, he calls it a mess. he’s fascinated by the state of your night stand, mostly. a dying plant and one loose airpod, two half empty water bottles, an empty starbucks cup.

second off, you have a cat. her name is katherine, but you call her kitty, occasionally kiki. and while bucky had been determined not to get attached, after awhile, it was difficult not to. she rubbed up on his legs, cuddled in his lap on the couch, slept on his chest in the middle of the night. she’s fucking adorable, and not even the winter soldier can deny that.

third off… you. you as a whole. he’s sure that it would’ve been a shock living with anyone, but the care that you give him… he’s not used to having someone making sure he’s eating. he’s not used to someone checking up on him throughout the day. he’s not used to having someone to come home to.

it’s nice.

it feels safe.

and he’ll kill anyone who tries to take this peace away from him.

bucky groans as he shucks his jacket off, feeling exactly where his muscles ache. he tries to keep his volume minimal. finally, he opens the door to the bedroom. the bedroom that you share.

this was the biggest adjustment of all.

he’d barely slept in a bed at all before you came along. too soft, too comfortable. he told you as much that first night, and what you had said shocked him.

“well, i’ll just sleep on the floor with you.”

no, oh, just get in bed. no, c’mon, it’s nice. none of those things. just understanding.

but it was more than understanding. it was meeting him exactly where he was.

that was three months ago, and you had kept your word. if you weren’t sleeping on the floor with him, you were on the couch with your hand tangling down, brushing along his hair, his shoulder. every time he felt you bucky swore that he could cry.

it was two months ago that he suggested you both sleep in the bed. and while it wasn’t every night, and some nights he padded out to the living room with a blanket and pillow… it was progress.

and he would wake up to find that you had joined him on the floor.

the nightmares weren’t gone. he’s not sure if they ever would be. but they were growing few and farer between, and the ones he did have were growing more manageable.

things were getting better.

of course, they were not perfect. and he knew that you didn’t expect them to be. he has therapy once a week, sometimes twice during the particularly hard weeks. he’s grown close with sam and his family. and… you.

his girl.

as the door creaks open, he almost chuckles at the sight of you. you’re laying horizontally across the bed, taking up both your side and bucky’s. katherine is curled in at your chest, her nose nearly touching yours. your mouth is open and he can see that there’s a bit of drool in the corner of your mouth, and that does make him laugh. it stirs you and he freezes.

bucky watches as you slowly wake, rubbing the sleep from your eyes, and then rubbing the drool from your mouth. “ew,” you mumble, still half asleep, and bucky leans in the doorway wearing a smirk.

“go back to sleep, doll.”

you hum and stretch, and so does katherine, giving a wide yawn. “you’re home.”

home.

had he ever had a home before? 

he did once, as a child. a time that feels so distant, so separate from the life that he leads now. sometimes, it’s hard to even picture the faces of his family members.

he had this apartment, but it never felt like home. not until you waltzed into it with your clutter and your laughter and your vibrancy. not until you cooked dinner hip to hip, not until you listened to music that he had never heard of, not until you watched some movie that was your favorite.

you’re home.

bucky smiles and he nods, sitting on the edge of the bed, pushing your hair back. “i’m home,” he says quietly. “i’m sorry i’m so late.”

you shake your head, your hand taking his. he still wears the gloves. you raise your eyebrows at him. “can i?”

he nods. you make quick work of removing each of his gloves, tossing them across the room, which makes bucky smile. he knows he’ll be picking those up in the morning. you press a kiss to his palm, the one that is flesh and bone. and then you take the other and do the same. “missed you, buck.”

something in his heart constricts as he watches you-- washed in moonlight that comes in through the window, sleepy smile on your face, eyes fixed on him. he knows that look, and he knows what it means. he doesn’t know if he deserves it, but he tries. he’ll always try for you.

“i wasn’t even gone twenty four hours,” the smirk is evident in his tone even if you can’t see it, but you scoff and roll your eyes. “i think you’re needy.”

“needy!” you repeat and laugh, falling back onto the pillow. kitty stirs and looks up at bucky, letting out a loud meow. “she’s the needy one. look at her.”

“both of you.” he scratches kitty’s head and then kisses the top of yours before he stands again. “i’m gonna shower.”

sleep is escaping you and you push yourself up onto your palms. “can i join you?”

he chews on the inside of his cheek and shrugs his shoulders innocently. “better pick up the pace then, soldier.”

with a laugh, you kick the sheets off of you. “yes sir.”

he rolls his eyes and you both shuffle into the bathroom. now, in the light, you’re able to get a good look at him. and your jaw drops slightly at what you see. “bucky,” you say and he already knows what’s coming. you touch the side of his face where a bruise is blossoming. “how the hell does this even happen?”

“part of the gig.”

you groan and he smiles and he does so because he loves you. he loves your mess and he loves your doting, he loves your cat and he loves coming home to see that you’ve taken up the entire bed. “you’re an old man. one of these days you’re gonna have to retire.”

“got unfinished business first.”

you know of his past. of course you do. although, you’re a firm believer that it’s not his past, rather than a past that was decided for him against his will. you’ve made a point of making your stance in that clear. you have heard stories of what bucky has done, but you have tutted and shaken your head. “what hydra did.”

these are the things that bucky tells himself, but it is different to hear it from someone else. someone who is not steve, or sam, or another avenger who has also committed morally grey acts. because, yes, they are all good and trustworthy and worth listening to-- but you. you are his girl. you are his girl who laughs at his jokes and teases him and never once babies him for what happened to him, but you’re also the girl who has woken him from nightmares, who has tended to his wounds, who has been held back from a fight just to defend his honor. you have seen him in his entirety, and you have never balked.

“alright, well--” it’s not lost on you how his eyes trail down your body as you undress, turning on the water and checking the temperature. “as soon of this business of yours is finished…”

“i know.”

the two of you share a look and he gives a crooked grin. “you look nice.”

“there’s dried drool on my face.”

“yeah, i know.”

it’s been nearly a year since you met james buchanan barnes and yet he still gets you to blush. he practically lights up at the sight of the color on your cheeks. “are you--”

“shut up and get in the shower,” you retort, pulling back the curtain and stepping into the steaming water.

“yes, ma’am.” you hear the shuffling of his clothes falling to the floor and then he is behind you, hands going up and down your arms. you let out a sigh and tilt your head back, peering up at him. water trails down his nose, dripping off and onto your forehead.

you don’t tell bucky, but you do worry. you worry every second that he’s gone on a mission. you know that you don’t have to say it, that he knows. and you trust that he will come home to you. bucky turns you and he holds your face in his hands and he presses his lips to yours and you know that he feels the same way.

i’ll always come back is spelled out in the way that he kissed you, the way that he holds the back of your head. we have forever is heaved from your lungs as he sucks the air from you.

when you part, you smile at his lips-- slightly swollen, pinker than normal. you rub your thumb along the bottom one and he catches your hand. he presses it on his chest, right where his heart hides beneath skin and bone. “you don’t have to do all of this to make up for what they did to you,” you say over the sound of water. “you’re allowed to have a normal life, if you want it.”

“i know.” he pushes a piece of wet hair from your face. “i just don’t--” he shakes his head and you know this all too well-- he doesn’t quite know what to say, he starts closing up and off and away, the high walls that guard his heart and mind beginning to take shape. “i feel like if i don’t… what was it all for?”

delicate hands move across his torso. you lather up a loofah and begin washing away blood and grime. “bucky,” you say and he looks at you, steely blue eyes staring right into yours. “you make people happy. you have people who love you, who care for you. you don’t owe the world reparations.”

he winces as you go over a particular bruise and you slow your movements, make them featherlight. “all i know is,” you begin. “whatever it is you want, whatever it is that fulfills your life… make sure it’s for you.”

a smile curls on his face and he stills your hands. “thank you.” he takes the loofah from you. “let me get you.”

“but i’m not done--”

“please. let me.”

you surrender and he begins to wash you, and your forehead falls to his shoulder, calm washing over your body. you could’ve been standing there for minutes or hours, you’re unsure. he pushes your hair back and at some point you realize that he is washing your hair, and you press gently open mouthed kisses against his chest and you hear his breath catch and you fall in love with him all over again.

“let me get yours--” you mumble around a yawn and you watch as he smirks down at you. “really, let me.”

bucky shakes his head and he turns the water off. “tomorrow,” he says.

you towel off and when you clamber into bed, you feel the weight of him beside you, your cat nestled between the both of you. you feel him pull you into him, his breath against your neck and his lips against your pulse point, and your eyes flutter shut. before sleep captures you, you murmur, “i love you, james bucky barnes.”

the feeling of his smile against your skin is imprinted on your heart, and his words coax you into sleep-- “i love you too, doll.”

bucky barnes sleeps through the night and doesn’t wake once.

[scarlettriot]

Stood Up

You (Y/N) get stood up from a date and Kaminari decides to do something about it.

Pairing: Kaminari/F!Reader

Contains: Fluff, Flirty Denki, Established BakuSquad Friendship

Warnings: 18+ Below the cut, Minors DNI! Swearing, Electro-Stim, Overstimulation, use of pet names (cuddle bug & cutie), oral (F receiving), consensual recording

A/N: Well, here we are with the third in my Stood Up series. There is also Bakugo & Kirishima if you're interested. This one took me way too long and it's also my first time writing Kaminari at length. I hope you all like it :)

Word Count Starting Below: 2,461

You slipped your foot into the silver heels you had picked out. Something a little fancier since this was a first date after all and you wanted to make a lasting impression. Not only that but this was your first first date in a while. Being a Pro Hero made life busy and dating difficult.

Practically the entire day leading up to this very moment revolved around you either getting ready or babbling with excitement to your closest friends.

An alert chimed on your phone with a text from your date, a smile sliding onto your face expecting to read some message about how they were on their way and that they'd see you soon, but that wasn't what you were met with.

Instead, it was a screenshot of your Instagram page, multiple of them actually, all of you and the ridiculous photos you took with your friends but mostly with one Denki Kaminari. The most recent of which was from a tea shop he met you at just earlier that day so you could show him the shoes for your date.

The message below was simple and more than enough to leave a sour taste in your mouth, this isn't what I want to see when I'm supposed to be taking you out tonight. What, one date a day isn't enough? Why are you even dating? Does your blonde boyfriend know?

You giggled at what they were implying, quick to explain how these were all your friends, they had been since high school! They are people you spent what little free time you had with. Especially Denki, your best friend since you were 15!

That joy you felt started dissipating within the next few messages. You hadn't even had a first date and they were already jealous, and that was something you didn't have room for in your life. So, you slipped the heels off your feet and put them directly back in the box to return when you had the time. Tight black jeans and fitted top were exchanged with a hoodie and sweats although your makeup and hair stayed done, you didn't have the energy to undo your hard work.

Instead, you slid back into your computer chair, your headset snuggly back on your ears and before you notified everyone you were back online, you took a moment listening to the chatter of your friends.

"Shitty Hair! Fuckin' pay attention!"

"Yeah, man! We're getting slaughtered over here!"

"Less yelling at Kiri! More shooty shooty!"

"All of you are hopeless..."

Eijiro chuckled out an apology that was accompanied by a lighter giggle also coming from his mic. "Think this is gonna be my last round for a bit, guys."

"You're so fuckin' whipped." Bakugo scoffed, before screaming profanities.

"Is it whipped if I'm the one who's wanting to get her into bed though?"

You clicked your mic back on then. "Hey, remember last week when Kats forgot his push to talk so we all heard him getting head and we party whipped because someone couldn't focus?"

"You better shut the hell up right fucking now!"

Everyone else roared with laughter. "Yeah! At least I have the decency to mute myself!"

"Hey, wait a sec, why are you online, Y/N!" Denki noted, "You should have already left!"

You screenshot your messages to the group chat because it was far easier than just explaining the ordeal.

"Cute shoes." Eijiro and Kyoka commented at the same time.

There was a lull as their game ended and the messages were read.

"Ya don't need 'em if they're gonna have their head so far up their ass like this."

"I agree." Hanta chimed in. "They're not worth your time."

"Still, sorry they turned out to be a shit." You could hear the frown on Kyoka's face, "I know how excited you were."

"Right, you doin' okay, Y/N? I can stick around and we can all shoot some things!"

"Thanks, Kiri but I'll be just fine! Go spend time with your girl!"

One by one, everyone signed off. You pulled up Spotify and Stardew Valley, something of a comfort for you to get lost in for the rest of the night.

Less than an hour later, you noticed your phone lighting up with your best friend's familiar smiling face. "What's up, Denki?"

"Open your door! I have my hands full and don't wanna put everything down to get my key!"

You sprang from your desk and rushed to your door. Sure enough, on the other side was Denki with bags in both hands and his phone tucked between his ear and shoulder. You grabbed it and a bag before he had a chance to drop anything like the klutz he was. "What's with all this?"

"I feel bad."

"Why? You didn't stand me up?"

He fiddled with the edge of a paper bag. "Yeah, but, we both read those messages and no one said anything but they didn't just call our group out, they called us out.

"Denks, it doesn't matter to me-"

"But, it does to me! You were so excited about this and I got in the way, unknowingly but, still! So, I gotta make it up to you now!"

He pulled out take-out boxes from your favorite restaurant. Two bottles of your favorite wine. Your top three favorite movies and video games, and a board game you both had been meaning to try. "I mean, if they think I'm your boyfriend I kinda gotta live up to the hype, right?"

You really wanted to insist that none of this was necessary. That just because some person that neither of you really knew that well, assumed something about your relationship that didn't mean he had to blame himself for it.

But, you had to admit, this was really sweet. It shouldn't have come as a surprise to you that he knew everything you liked but it was nice. Instead of sitting across from a stranger, making awkward small talk, and trying to learn about one another, you were barefoot in your kitchen, laughing with your best friend while he plated dinner and you poured the wine.

Formalities were out the window. Both you and Denki were eating dinner in your living room, laughing and drinking just as you'd done a million times before. You snapped a photo of the delicious food on paper plates, toasting good times with your cheap wine, ready to post them to your Instagram.

"Gonna make them more jealous..."

"I think they made it pretty clear they don't want to see me so why should I care?"

He shrugged. "I just thought they might, you know, come to their senses that they obviously lost."

"I don't really care either way." You wandered back into your kitchen, putting away the leftovers, "They can forget I exist or they can stalk my page like a creep. If someones' gonna try and tell me I can't be friends with my friends or just not listen to me, then I don't want them in my life. No matter how good-looking they are."

Denki watched you from the sofa, a bit of a lopsided grin on his face that had butterflies taking flight in your stomach. "What?" Laughing to hide the bit of a crush you always had on the man. It was unavoidable you told yourself. His personality was infectious and had 15 year old you head over heels.

He pushed back bright blonde hair back off his forehead and just shook his head. "Nothin'. Uh, what's next? Video game, board game, or movie?"

You peaked on the counter at the options. "Well, we probably should have checked this but the board game needs at least four people to play... guess we'll have to save that for our next game night. Is a movie okay?"

Of course, it was.

You brought over the DVD with a refill of wine and he pulled a blanket down off the back of your sofa.

It really didn't take long, just fifteen minutes or so, and you were curled up into Denki's side. You'd make grabby hands for your wine glass and he'd pass it over with that damn grin again.

And not long after that, he'd pulled out his phone, angling it to take a picture of the two of you. "What are you doing?" You could see him on his own Instagram, tagging you, with the caption, Check out my cute cuddle bug.

"I thought you didn't want to make them more jealous."

"I decided I don't care either. You're mine tonight, their loss. And since you're mine tonight, I get bragging rights." He snapped another quick picture of you rolling your eyes at him, and then he kept snapping them.

"Denki! Why!"

"Because you're cute, cuddle bug! I like having all the pictures of you that I can!"

Even as you tackled him back down on the sofa, pinning him below you, he still managed a photo. "Bet if I post this one, they'll really get the wrong idea."

You could have moved. You were the one on top of him and you had his arms above his head. You had the power here and yet you just lingered above him.

"Y/N? Not that I'm one to complain about having a beautiful person such as yourself pinning me down, like, it's kinda hot, but..." Looking down into half-lidded golden eyes, you wondered why you had to become best friends with such a damn flirt! "Are you gonna take advantage of this situation we're in or are we just gonna keep dancing around this for another decade or so?"

You couldn't have heard him right? No... no this was your brain playing tricks on you because he certainly hadn't had that much wine tonight. You sat upright on his lap. "Another decade then, Y/N?"

"You- ha- you should stop that, Denki."

He leaned up, moving his arms around you, "Gimme a good reason to and I will."

You didn't have one. And not just because you've been in love with him for ten years but also because he was your best friend. The only reason to not go through with it was the possibility of losing your friendship if something bad were to happen but, you really didn't think anything would.

Denki might have been a serial flirt but he was surprisingly loyal in all the relationships he'd been in, not that there had been all that many serious ones.

"I'm not hearing anything." He teased, his face getting closer to yours. You could count each and every one of the faint freckles that littered the balls of his cheeks and the bridge of his nose. "But, I promise, if you tell me no, I'll stop, won't push this any further."

This whole thing seemed like a frickin' whirlwind, happening faster than your brain could really process the situation but you didn't want it to stop either. You wanted to take it further, didn't want to say no.

Which was why you coiled your arms around his neck and kissed him deeply. There was that small little buzz of electricity that tickled your lips when he'd kiss your nose or cheeks that was now playing on his lips, on his tongue when you welcomed him in.

He leaned back again, pulling you with him until you were both a pile of needy hands and breathy pleas. Everywhere his hands roamed you felt that faint trail of shock against your skin, making the little hairs on your body stand on end.

Clothes were shed, tossed haphazardly around your living room, both of you pausing to laugh when Denki managed to land your hoodie over a lamp. His attention was drawn back to you quickly though, still perched on top of him but now he had your chest on full display since you'd forgone a bra when your date canceled.

Electrifying tongue twirled around your nipples, sensitive normally, now it felt like you knew what it was like when he fried his damn brain. He was eager, relentless even, pulling and sucking, another hand giving your other breast a similar treatment. He had you so focused that you let out a broken moan when slender fingers found their way into your panties.

"Fuckin' hell, Denki."

The bastard winked up at you, nipple still between his lips and before you could retort, he sent another small jolt through you.

You were blatantly grinding down on his hand, reaching behind you, you found him completely solid, barely being contained in the tight black boxers he wore. You had enough sense to tug them down and wrap your hand around him making his teeth sink into your soft flesh, whining when you stroked him.

"Y/N..." He whimpered, his hand momentarily distracted from his ministrations gave you enough time to shift in his lap to scoot forward putting his cock in front of you. In one swift motion, you had his length between your slick. "Oh fuck, cutie!" Golden eyes were squeezed shut while you moved along him, feeling that pleasant curve he had, you could only imagine what it was gonna be like to have him inside you.

"You're being a little tease, ma-makes me wanna do all sorts of things to y-you."

He was kissing your neck, your chest, shoulders, and arms, anywhere on you that he could reach. His hips bucking up into you, just trying to hit that perfect angle.

Strength and agility were something most overlooked when it came to Denki Kaminari but when the man wanted something bad enough, he found a way to get it.

He had your ass rising up in the air with a harsh thrust of his hips and a small squeak from you, giving him exactly enough time to scoot down on the sofa so you were sat atop his face. If you complained, he didn't hear you. Denki already had your thighs around his head and his tongue devouring you completely.

Little shockwaves rocked you while you cried out his name, hands fisting blonde locks just trying to stay upright.

One orgasm from you apparently wasn't enough, neither was two but on the third, Denki finally relented, allowing your heartrate to come back down and your gasping breaths to come in more steadily.

You slid back down his body, his erection now smack against your ass. His hair was recked, face completely flush but he had the biggest grin on his face that you'd ever seen.

Denki kissed both your cheeks, "You are so amazing, cutie!" Kissed your lips, "You taste better than anything I've ever had!" And one more on the tip of your nose. "Doin' okay?"

You nodded, starting to really gather yourself again, and by this point, you really just wanted one thing.

"I wanna... Denks... can I take care of you now?"

"Sure, cutie! How do you want me?" The wiggling eyebrows had you rolling your eyes and pushing him on his back again.

It took little effort for you to position yourself above his cock, and with how slick you were, his bright pink head slipped right inside. He held your hands while you scrunched up your face, sliding all the way down him until he was completely sheathed within.

The curve was immaculate. Hitting in just the right way that had you moaning with just a couple thrusts from him. Before long, you were eagerly bouncing on his cock. Riding him hard so he filled you up each and every time.

You barely registered him reaching for the coffee table, his phone now in his hands. "What're you doin'?" You practically slurred, slowing only slightly. He tapped the camera lens with a wicked grin. "Seriously?"

"We could make 'em really jealous now..."

Somewhere in your brain, you knew your date wouldn't give two shits, in fact, this probably would have only validated their thoughts about your's and Denki's relationship but with his cock stuffed so deeply into you, kissing your cervix in the most beautiful way, you really didn't give a damn.

You and Denki put on the best possible show you could think of. You were overstimulated, sore, and completely elated! He balanced the phone against the wine bottle so neither of you had to try to hold it.

This way he could play with your breasts or squeeze your thighs while you dug half-moons into his chest. Shocked with the playful zaps he sent right to your core.

Your makeup you'd didn't feel like taking off now ran down your cheeks with tears. Your hair was a mess thanks to him pulling at it.

Denki had you howling through another two orgasms, telling you how perfect you were, how nice you felt squeezing him so tightly, your nails felt so good against his skin.

It was only when you collapsed against his chest did he hoist your hips up so he could ram into you, pulling out just at the last second with a strangled cry of your name.

He wiggled himself free, grabbing a towel from your bathroom and cleaning you both up before stopping the recording.

"You're, hey you're gonna send that to me right?" You asked when he handed back your hoodie off the lamp.

He dropped a kiss on your lips, plopping down beside you on the sofa again and you noticed your email already up and the video uploading. "Obviously, we share all our videos and photos. Why would this be different?"

[shorkbrian]

Omg hi so I read your babysitter fic and I was thinking what if bakuogus tired of reader being a brat with him so he brings Kiri over to help him out 🤤 srry im just being horny on anon rn

“C’mon princess, move your ass before I move it for you.”

You huffed at the blonde, opening the car door, stepping outside and slamming it shut. Bakugou shot you a harsh glare, but you weren’t looking at him, instead crouching to tie your shoe.

He gave you a moment to do that, before the man got impatient, clicking his tongue, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Let’s go, it’s not like I have all fucking day.”

You knew for a fact that yes, he did have all day.

Your mom was away again, another business trip. She was working towards a promotion - a position that meant more hours, more work, more travel.

More time being spent with your stupid babysitter.

With your rapist.

He hadn’t touched you, not outright, since that day. Every time your mom suggested having him over for dinner, you conveniently found somewhere to be; out with friends, on a date, having a sleepover. Anything so that you didn’t have to look at Bakugou Katsuki’s stupid, smug little face.

But your mom had surprised you yesterday night, letting you know she’d be leaving in the morning, that Katsuki would be staying over again. There wasn’t any time for you to argue with her, to plead for her to stay, or to take you with her, or for you to stay at a friend’s house, anything but Katsuki.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were trying to avoid him!” She had laughed, before wagging a finger at you. “Don’t be rude. He’s a nice man, and I trust him to keep you safe. He did last time!”

Yeah, and he also assaulted you last time, so maybe he wasn’t as nice of a guy as she thought.

He was taking you to the mall, not even really giving you a choice, just telling you to get dressed, that the two of you were going out.

Now here you were, trudging silently behind the older man, glaring at the ground.

“Bakubro! Over here!”

A loud shout drew your attention, Bakugou grinning as he started veering towards the shouter, a red-haired man waving enthusiastically. You followed behind him obediently, taking stock of this new man.

He was fucking huge, thick thighs bulging against his jeans, biceps straining against the fabric of his navy hoodie. This new guy was handsome too, a wide, sharp smile, soft red eyes, a clean-shaven face.

“’Sup Idiot? You tryin’ to attract the whole mall? Always so damn loud.” Even though he was complaining, it was clear that these two were friends as Bakugou let the other man pull him into a hug. They pounded each other on the back, before the redhead drew back, pushing past the blonde to give you his full attention. 

“Who’s this? Did you get a girlfriend? She looks a little young bro.”

“I’m not his girlfriend.” You spat, and the redhead held up his hands in surrender as Bakugou shouldered him to the side.

“It’s the little fucker that I’m looking after as a favor. You know I work security for that office complex?” The redhead nodded. “Yeah, one of the milfs gave me free range of her house as long as I watch her.”

Both men looked at you, and the redhead smiled brightly.

“Ah, well, I’m Kirishima! Nice to meet you, sorry you have to put up with such a grumpy fucke-”

“Hey, shaddup.” Bakugou elbowed him, but Kirishima was already extending a hand for you to shake, and you did so gladly. At least you weren’t the only one who thought Bakugou was a grumpy, stuck up mess.

“’Kay, now can we go? I’m starving’, wanna eat before we do anything else.”

Kirishima winked at you as he threw an arm around your shoulders, his other arm around Bakugou. “Food court? I think they have a pretty good selection here...”

-----

Kirishima was much more tolerable than Bakugou.

He was funny, cracking jokes and making you almost spit out the soda he had bought you, slipping you five dollars behind Bakugou’s back for you to get a drink.

The redhead sat next to you while the three of you ate, including you in the conversation whenever Bakugou seemed to forget about your existence.

As the three of you walked from store-to-store, Kirishima listened to you ramble on about the latest game you’d bought, what you thought of your favorite snack brand trying to collaborate with a fashion company, all your opinions on the music playing faintly through the mall speakers.

It was fun when he grabbed your hand, tugging you away from Bakugou and along with the redhead as he ducked into a random store. It was some street-wear fashion place, and Kirishima wanted your thoughts on if a shirt was his color, or if he could pull off one of the hats that adorned the mannequin in the store window.

The two of you were busy laughing at how the hat couldn’t even press past his spiky hairstyle when you noticed Bakugou, glowering at you both from the outside of the store, lips pulled into the deepest frown.

Kirishima started laughing at the man’s expression, and you quickly followed suit, before Bakugou stalked inside, cuffing his friend on the ear.

What a spoil sport.

You couldn’t deny that by the end of the few hours you’d spent with Kirishima, you found yourself attracted to him. Not only in looks, but also in his goofy personality. You wouldn’t mind being friends with him.

It was easy to exchange numbers with the man, easy to let him lift your spirits.

And then it was time to leave, all three of you grouped at the entrance, saying bye, Bakugou and Kirishima giving each other another bro-hug.

You gave Kirishima a hug, leaning into his warm touch, enjoying his spicy cologne as you pressed your face against his broad chest. He eagerly returned the hug, until Bakugou was scoffing, pulling you out of his embrace.

“We’re in fucking public, you two, chill. Keep your pants on, sluts.”

Kirishima laughed, giving you a cheery wave as Bakugou gripped your hand until it hurt, dragging you out of the mall quickly.

-----

“Why are you being such a brat? You were fuckin’ fine earlier.” The blonde man grumbled, glancing over at you from where he was making dinner.

You rolled your eyes, taking a sip of your water. “It’s not my fault you have a stick up your ass. All I said is I don’t like when you make food, tastes bad.”

Bakugou huffed, turning off the stove. “Are you fucking serious? You’re just trying to mess with me, aren’t’cha princess?”

“Could you stop calling me that? I’m not your princess.”

“You’re whatever I want you to be, princess.” Bakugou sneered, stomping towards you.

You quickly backpedalled, setting your glass of water down on the counter, stepping back. “I’m going to go set the table!” Was your way out, and Bakugou backed off as you threw open a cupboard, rummaging for plates and cups as he chuckled to himself.

“Yeah, you do that.” 

It wasn’t long before the table was set, Bakugou bringing the food to set it down onto the hotplate in the middle.

Even just a whiff of the food had your eyes watering, the spice through the roof.

“Seriously dude? You know you’re cooking for two people, why the fuck did you make it inedible?!?” 

The blonde man glared at you as he sat down, jaw working, mouth twisting. “You gonna be a bitch-baby about it? Should be fuckin’ grateful that I even made you dinner.”

“Thanks for dinner.” You mumbled, staring tiredly at the food Bakugou was heaping onto his plate. You didn’t feel like eating anymore, his outburst ruining your mood, reminding you of the time when he got angry because you wouldn’t go to bed, wouldn’t listen to him-

“Eat the damn food.” Katsuki snapped, pulling you out of your thoughts and back to the present.

You did as he asked, even though it burned your mouth. Dinner was quickly gulped down, followed by desperate swigs of water as you tried to chase away the spice. Bakugou huffing the entire time at your inability to handle the level of spice he preferred.

Afterwards, you gathered up the plates and washed them, conscious of Katsuki hovering in the background of the kitchen, watching you work while he tapped away on his phone.

When the last dish was washed, dried, and put away, you began rummaging in the cupboards, looking for something sweet, something to soothe your tastebuds.

“What’re you doin’, didn’t I just feed you?”

Bakugou’s harsh voice made you flinch, but you kept your back to him. “Was hoping there’d be dessert.”

A long, irritated sigh, then a hand gripped your shoulder, pulling you away from the kitchen cupboards. “Ain’t got any of that shit in the house princess, you don’t need it.”

“But-” Your plead was interrupted by Bakugou rolling his eyes, snorting.

“Why are you being such a whiny baby? Is this cause Kiri was spoilin’ you earlier?”

Jutting your chin out, you glared up into red eyes as you turned around seething. “Maybe I like being treated like a person and not a problem. I don’t even understand why he’s friends with you - you’re mean and crass and stup-”

“So you’re just acting out cause you want some extra attention or some shit? What a brat.” The blonde sneered, leaning back against the counter as he tapped away at his phone again.

“You want Kiri so bad, fine. I’ll have him get you some shitty grocery-store dessert. Then maybe you’ll stop acting like a bitch. Stuff some candy in that mouth, will that keep you quiet, huh?”

It was infuriating, being treated like a child. Ignored, talked down to, unable to assert yourself or make decisions. 

“Whatever.” You huffed, shaking your head as you walked out of the kitchen. “Anything’s better than having to sit here with you.”

-----

The front door opening and the faint rustle of grocery bags caught your ear as you fumed on the couch, angrily questioning “why me?” as to your situation. But the noise meant your new friend was here, and he was much nicer than Bakugou.

Nice enough to have you smiling a bit as you rose to your feet, padding into the dining room as you beelined to the soft murmur of two manly voices.

“Heyyy! Long time no see!” The redhead was dressed in a loose tank top and basketball shorts, shoes discarded somewhere in the hall. 

You’d known he was muscular, but actually seeing his muscles without clothes in the way? You were stunned.

A bright blush encompassed your face when Bakugou snapped his fingers, narrowing his eyes at you. “Ay’, stupid! Focus! He got you a bunch of sweet shit. Rot your teeth out.” While gesturing to the two grocery bags resting on the dinner table.

“Hi Kirishima, thanks for the desserts-”

“Aw, it’s nothing. Bakubro wouldn’t tell me what kinda flavors you like so I kinda got a variety...”

Cupcakes and candy and various other sweet treats were nestled in the bags, and you grinned. “Dude, it’s all good. Wanna sit down and have some too?”

Bakugou snorted while Kiri smiled at you, nodding his head.  The dining chair creaked as his weight settled in it, the redhead pushing the grocery bags towards where you sat, encouraging you to pick anything you wanted.

The two men began to talk about this and that, mundane things about work, odd jobs, what their plans for the weekend were, boring stuff you easily tuned out as you indulged in sweet desserts.

Their attention turned to you when a whine slipped from your lips as frosting fell rom the cupcake you were eating and onto your shirt. Before you reached for a napkin, Kiri was leaning over, invading your space.

“You’re kinda messy, aren't you?” He breathed, a single finger swiping through the frosting on your shirt before the redhead sucked it into his mouth, looking at you through his eyelashes.

“Oh-u-uhm...” Was your elegant reply, tummy filled with butterflies at the fact that his finger had pressed against your skin through your shirt, right underneath your breast. 

He was so hot.

“Yeah, and a fuckin’ brat too. Little bitch can’t stop complaining about every little thing. Shut up the second I mentioned you were coming over.” Bakugou cackled, breaking the mood completely.

But Kirishima’s eyes were still on you as his now-clean finger slipped from his mouth. It was mesmerizing, watching the muscles in his arms shift and move as he leaned closer, slipping his hands underneath your shirt and raising the fabric so he could lick at the frosting still stuck on it.

Your breath stuttered, heat flaring suddenly in your tummy at the action.

And then Bakugou had to ruin it again. 

“You can fuck her if you want, I don’t mind. I told the old bird I would watch her kid for her. Didn’t say nothin’ about not getting her drunk on some cock.”

Eyes squeezing shut, you opened your mouth for some snappy reply, but Kirishima beat you to speaking.

“Yeah? Alright. You good with that baby?”

Wait, good with-?

Kirishima was looking up at you expectantly, fingers still clutched in your shirt, refusing to touch your skin. He was hot. This was hot. It’d be perfect if Bakugou wasn’t here.

“C’mon, just fuck her man, she’s been gaggin’ for your dick since she met you. Stop being a loser and man up.”

The redhead in front of you smiled, sharp teeth on display and gleaming. 

Then your shirt was being pulled over your head, hands gripping at your chest, thumbing over your nipples through your bra.

“W-wai-Kiri! Uhm, can’t we- uhm-”

Your voice was ignored, the redhead’s eyes glued to your chest as he pulled down your bra a bit, until he could palm each breast without anything in-between his warm hands and your soft skin.

“You’re so pretty...”

“She’s a whore.” Bakugou snarked.

Hands migrated to your waist, and you were easily lifted onto the table, Kirishima rising from his seat so he could push at your shoulders until they met the solid wood. Bakugou stayed seated, casually notching his hands behind his head and leaning back as he watched the show unfold before him.

Things were happening so fast, you didn’t know what to say, couldn’t move your hands to push away the broad redhead. This was so confusing. Yes, you wanted him, but you didn’t want Bakugou watching. You didn’t want to do this on the dining room table, didn’t like the quick turn the night had taken.

Your pants were being pulled down before you could organize your thoughts, before you could do much else aside from whimper and press your legs together.

“Hah, cute panties. You always wear stuff like this?” Kirishima asked, sliding a thumb underneath the elastic waistband only so he could snap it against your skin. You gasped at the little sting, unsure what to say, what to do.

“Most of her stuff is stupid girly shit like that, so yes.” 

You tried to throw a glare Bakugou’s way, but with the blonde somewhere behind you sitting at the table, you couldn’t turn your head far enough.

Especially not when you were distracted by Kirishima pushing down the waistband of his shorts. 

“I’m so glad I didn’t wear jeans.” He chuckled, holding his cock at the base as he sat back down again, scooting his chair up to edge of the table where your legs were splayed wide.

“Okay pretty, try and stay still for me. Make as much noise as you wanna, Bakugou and I don’t mind.” And then a warm mouth was pressed up against your cunt, licking at you over your panties, dragging the rough cotton against your most sensitive parts.

“Oh! o-oh, oh-oh-” Was all you could make your mouth manage as the redhead gripped your thighs in his giant hands, pushing them apart and allowing his massive shoulders to fit between them as he bent to lick at your pussy.

It felt... It felt so good, building up pressure in your stomach as your hole clenched around nothing.

Then Kiri did something awful, pulling your panties to the side and nosing into your folds with a pleased grunt. His skin was so warm, and you were so wet, and his nose started bumping against your clit as the man sloppily mouthed at you, and you couldn’t-couldn’t

“Stop-stop! ‘m gonna cum!” You wailed, legs twitching.

Immediately Kirishima drew back, soothing circles getting rubbed into your calves by thick fingers. “You don’t wanna cum in my mouth? Wanna cum on my cock instead? That’s cute.”

He stood up, and you barely got a glimpse of his dick bobbing against his stomach before he was leaning forward and catching your lips in a kiss. It almost scared you, sharp teeth poking menacingly against your lips, dragging across your skin as Kirishima moved his mouth against yours, but the redhead knew how to work with his teeth.

“Man, she really is a slut for you.” Bakugou piped up from behind you. He was a bit breathless, voice scratcher, but you couldn’t focus on that, not when Kirishima was pulling away with a groan, one of his hands fisting his cock.

The redhead gathered the spit in his mouth, leaned down, and let it drip onto your cunt, panties still pushed to the side. It was burning hot, adding to the fire in your tummy, blazing higher and higher.

Heavy breathing and labored panting filled the room as Kirishima edged closer to you, laying his cock flat against your entrance, playing with your panties as he did so until they pressed against his cock as it nestled between the lips of your cunt.

And then he started grinding.

Slow, delicious, absolutely heavenly.

You almost didn’t care about the disgusting little groans coming from Bakugou, the slick sounds of him fucking his fist, the creak of his chair behind you.

Almost.

Your attention was more focused on the pleasurable little zings going up your spine as Kiri rubbed his cock through your folds, all slick and wet. You kept your legs spread wide for him, barely able to breathe at the heat that seemed to fill the space, fill your lungs and steal your voice.

Kiri leaned down to kiss you again, and your hands fisted into his tank top, the material sweaty as it clung to his chest. If you could focus, you’d be trying to pull it off him, see the beautiful skin underneath, the man’s gorgeous body.

But what he was doing with his hips felt so good, you couldn’t even think.

“Kiri-Kiri, gonna-ohmygod-gonna-!”

And you came, shuddering as his cock kept fucking back and forth through your folds, twitching against your clit, veins in his dick pulsing and dragging against your skin.

He wasn’t stopping.

“Unhh, I came, please, wait Kirishima-”

“Didn’t you say you wanted to cum on my cock baby? I’m barely getting warmed up.” A feral smile gleamed bright from his lips. “I don’t play like Bakugou, I like messy girls. Gonna get you so fucked out you can’t even speak, can’t even walk. Won’t give him any trouble then, right? You’ll be good? For us?”

The look in his eye told you that you weren’t going to get a choice.

“Fuck Kiri, turn her over when you fuck her cunt so I can use her mouth.” Bakugou’s voice cut in, and your mood soured even more.

But Kirishima was already agreeing, cock still thrusting against your cunt. 

You didn’t get to make decisions anymore.

[thelittlewriter]

Calm

Pairing : Suna x Reader

Previous Part / Next Part

Masterlist

The garden was less crowded.

- Y/N ?

Nomura sounded worried. Your ears were ringing. It probably was because of all the sudden stress from a few minutes ago. You hadn't said anything since then, you couldn't. There was too much information, too many questions, too little answers.

One sentence was playing in your mind over and over.

We talked about this already.

We ? Who ? When ? Why ? And...

- Y/N, talk to me...

- Did you know ?

It was the best you could do. Your voice was shaking, you were on the verge of crying already.

- Y/N, I...

- Answer me ! you cut him. Did you know about this "arrangement" ?

He could see the pain in your eyes.

- Yes.

You started sobbing.

- Is this why you...

- No ! He only mentioned it yesterday. I... I didn't think he'll mention it ever again. I told him not to.

He was playing with his hands.

- I told you... you can say no at any time.

You scoffed.

- Of course, I'm gonna say no. I don't wanna work for him.

- Not that... I'm talking about us going on a date. If it makes you uncomfortable, I'd totally understand.

Going on a date ? Will you give up on him even before everything started ? You liked being around him, you liked to laugh with him and to eat with him. It felt like it was beyond work, like you had to at least try.

- I don't... I'm still going on a date with you, I just... need time to process everything.

He nodded.

- Do you wanna walk around with me ? he asked.

- Sure, you said, grabbing his arm.

The sun was slowly setting. It was a beautiful sight, and you relaxed watching it.

- Is a dinner too much ? Should I start with lunch first ?

You smile at the man.

- You know we ate dinner or lunch together before ? But anything is fine as long as I get to spend time with you, you answered.

He froze and you panicked.

- To get to know each other ! you added quickly.

He was just smiling at you. You liked how reassuring his presence was to you.

- I want to get to know you better too, Y/N.

You two sat on a wooden bench. He was talking with his sweet voice, the one you were weak for. Your head fell on his shoulder as you kept listening to him telling a story about his sister.

- My sister is annoying sometimes but everything would've been lonely without her.

- What do you mean by annoying ? you heard a voice from behind you.

You jumped and turned around.

- Ruka ! he said. Don't listen to other people's conversations !

She jumped on the bench, forcing a spot between the two of you before glaring at you. She seemed not to want you to get close to her brother.

She doesn't seem to like me that much, you thought.

Then, she looked at her brother and said :

- You were talking about me anyway ! You said I was annoying !

You looked at Ruka. The last time you saw her was when she was with Suna. Where was he now ?

- Hmm....

You tried to get her attention but she was clearly ignoring you.

- Do you know where Suna is ? you timidly asked.

She finally turned toward you, looking annoyed.

- He's cute, she said. He loves sweet things too. You should go and find him.

- I will when you tell me if you know where he is.

You were starting to be annoyed too. She sighed.

- Ruka, don't be rude, you heard his brother say.

- I don't know where he is. I left him half an hour ago.

You jumped from the bench. Half an hour ?

- I need to go find him, you said.

- If you need me, just call me and I'll be there.

You nodded as you went back inside. It was still as beautiful but it seemed even bigger than the first time you went in. Maybe because this time, there was nobody by your side. How could you find him in this mass of people ? You tried to sent him a text. You felt guilty. He came here to spend time with you, you even went out of your way to get him to agree to come and you left him alone. More than this... for a little while, you had forgotten about him. You were walking around, trying to find him but nothing.

You accidentally bumped into something. When you looked up, you saw it was someone.

- Oh, Y/N.

You recognize that sweet voice from before. Nomura's mother. You looked around.

- Don't worry, he's not around.

You relaxed.

- I have to apologize on his behalf. He seems to be desperate to make his dream of legacy come true these days...

- Don't worry, it's ok.

It was not. But you couldn’t be rude to her when she was innocent.

- You look like me when I used to work for this company.

She worked there too ?

- Back then, my husband was very supportive. I believe you have someone like that too, right ?

You had Nozomi. She was ready to support you no matter what. That made you think that you needed to call her and tell her everything about what happened.

- The man you came with today... he's your boyfriend, right ? You two seem so close, like I was with Junichi at these events.

Suna ? Your boyfriend ? You wanted to laugh but then you saw the look in the woman's eyes. She seemed nostalgic and happy.

- He looks at you like you're all his world too. Don't let him go.

You weren't totally sure it was still about you. Well, Suna didn't look at you like that, and you didn't either. And you didn't even spend that much time together tonight... since when was she observing you ?

- I want someone like this for my Eiji too. He needs it.

You froze. You didn't know where to look.

- You know, it doesn't look like it but he's fragile and insecure. Very candid too.

She shook her head, regretful. You felt like you weren't supposed to know that...

- It's because of his father's words. He pretends it doesn't affect him but...

She sighed and looked at you.

- I know you and him are not like this but... could you please compliment him from time to time ? A mother's compliment worths nothing after all.

You nodded.

- I do compliment him often, actually, you said. Me and the whole team know how precious he is.

You knew how precious he was. He was shy too. You hadn't noticed before the breakfast in his apartment and tonight. He wasn't totally the way he appeared to be. You liked this sweet version of him a lot.

You liked...

Your phone started ringing. You immediately answered.

- Y/N ! Are you having fun ?

Suna sounded happy. Much more than you did.

- Yeah...

- I'm upstairs ! And you're not gonna believe me, they have cakes !

There was a place upstairs ? You heard him moan in appreciation to the cake he was eating.

Well, someone is having fun !

- Where are you ? you asked.

- Don't move ! I see you ! I'll be right there !

He hung up the phone.

- Was it your boyfriend ? the woman asked.

No, it was just Suna.

- Actually, he's...

- Y/N !

It was a scream. A scream that would clearly draw attention. You turned toward Suna's voice. He hurried next to you. You were about to scold him when he put a muffin inside your mouth. You looked at him with wide eyes.

He had a huge smile in his face. A few strands of hair were falling on his face. His eyes were shining like a thousand stars. He was beautiful. The most beautiful man you had ever seen. And he was looking at you. And you were looking at him too. He had just come here and you relaxed at the idea that you were finally with him. You remembered this exact feeling. You hadn't felt like that in years. You only ever felt like this when he was there with you. It was warm, it was pure, and so scary sometimes. But not today. Today, you were happy to be like this. You didn't notice that uncomfort that had seemed to blend among the other ones that came tonight. But now that he was with you, it was like you were at peace.

He had his hand on your waist. And he was feeding you.

You were melting. Melting for your friend, but it didn't matter.

You bit on the muffin and ate it. You couldn't help but noticed the feeling of satiety in that moment. Not of food, but of him. He was everything you wanted at that moment.

- It's great, right ?

You leaned forward looking at both the muffin and him. His face turned red as he gave you another bite.

Suna heard a little laugh on the side. He hadn't realized you were with someone. He stepped away from you.

- Good evening ! he said.

His face was probably red right now.

- Y/N's boyfriend ! I've been waiting to meet you in person !

He looked at you with a confused look but you were only smiling at him. You looked completely out of it, he wouldn't even be surprised if you didn't hear what this woman said. Were you drunk ? Still, he decided to go along with it. You probably had a good reason to make him his temporary boyfriend.

- I'm flattered... And whom do I have the honor to speak to ?

- I'm nobody important, just an old woman who wanted to know more about Y/N.

- You are a very elegant lady, and that makes you important, at least in my eyes.

The woman seemed surprised and looked at you.

- He is very good with words, is this why you fell in love ?

You looked at her. You seemed to be back.

- He wasn't very good with words when I met him but I still fell in love regardless.

Suna froze. You two never talked about how you felt for him back in high school. You confessed and he rejected, and that was over. Hearing you say things like this was... disturbing.

- I'm Nomura Chie. Now, you should probably take Y/N home before my husband comes back.

She winked before walking to her husband, who wasn't very far and made him walk away from you.

- What was she talking about ?

- I'll tell you when we get home.

Suna grabbed your arm without hesitating much.

- Let's go home then.

Tags : @ys2800 @jiminslajibolala @rat-p1ss @qualitygiantshoepsychic @lovelytaes-blog @bananasquash @backoftheletter @wakasa-wifey @jojowantstocry  @amarinthe @wolffmaiden @sunas-type @your-girl-mj @crapimahuman @shiratori-no-hikari  @thegracerammy @wumboho @whitebread-wasian ​​​​ @nctseventeensworld ​@sakusaww @lovemegood @sh4nn @theultimatefrenchfangirl

Hey ! I think I like this chapter and what is going to happen next a lot ! I hope you liked it too ! I'm sorry I didn't post earlier I completely forgot... the next chapter is almost ready so *hopefully* I'll post it in 3 days top !!! Have a great day or night or afternoon !

[mysticalrambling]

Hey there😄😄I hope you're doing fine....I love your fanfictionss just too much and *adorable addition* is just my top favorite atory of yours😍😍😍. Yesterday you said i could make a request too so i was wondering if you can take in a request??😅😅 which is a Steve Rogers x reader request, which I had in mind for a long long time...I have made this request to some authors before but some of them never responded or just weren't interested in writing it so you can too decline but hear me out please😅😅... Ok so here goes nothing....

**Steve and reader being in an arranged marriage and steve is very rude towards the reader and would blame her, that due to their marriage he is not with peggy and how she irritates him, but still the reader did sweet things for him, made him food, tried to make him happy and tried to make their marriage work...but one day when she has enough of all the hurt, she stop doing stuff for steve and starts ignoring him..and also steve sees that peggy didn't love him but only his status as Captain America and was happy with someone else..then he realises his mistake and felt bad for treating his wife poorly...he tries to make up things with her but she now ignores him...His team members berate him for ignoring his wife and he gets jealous seeing someone else making a move on her.....and now he has to work his ass off to win back his wife...And can you end it with a happy ending and can it be long also? please🥺🥺

Arrange Marriage (S.R)

A/N: Thank you so much lovely and I loved the plot line. I loved writing about it and I made a few additions to the story. Hope you like it and I am open to more requests.

Steve Rogers Fanfiction (Fanfiction Master List)

Summary: Steve and you are married because the government wants Captain America to be a family ma. Steve is not happy with the arrangement and thinks he is in love with Peggy. You try to make your marriage work but he insults you every chance he gets. However, everything works out eventually.

Warnings: Angst but eventual fluff.

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"I prepared some dinner for you," You spoke out when you saw your husband rushing towards his room. That's right, his room. Even though you were married for about a month now, you have never been in the same room for more than ten minutes.

"I am not hungry." He was quick to dismiss you and went straight to his room. You just looked at the muddy footsteps that were the only evidence that Steve was here. He was on one of his missions with your dad, Nick Fury. Your step dad, actually, because he rescued you from one of hydra base camps when you were eight years old. Those times were something that you have repressed in your mind and you would never think about them.

A few tears escaped your eyes when you kept all of the untouched food in the fridge which you spent hours preparing. You understood that you were not your husband's first choice but you both had an obligation to try to make it work. But lately, it was like you were all alone in this relationship and you felt so worthless.

Wiping the tears away, you made your way to the master bedroom because you had enough. If years of therapy have taught you anything, it is that no one had the right to make you feel that way. "Come in!" His pissed off voice filtered through the door and you took a shaky breath before entering.

"Hi. I just wanted to say that I prepared all of your favorite food and you didn't even look at it." You spoke timidly.

"I told you I was not hungry." He said from the changing closet and came out in his sweats. Looking tired was something not new for Captain America now a days and everyone at work was also starting to notice the change. "Why are we pretending to be like a normal, married couple?"

"Why can't we be one? I am trying here." He looked anywhere but at you because he knew that he would see those damp eyes. That was enough to make him feel guilty and he wanted to prevent that.

"You know why. I am in love with Peggy." The most hurtful thing that your life partner can say to you and Steve just did without taking your feelings into account.

"Then you could have said something before we got married." Panic was slowly setting in because you realised that you were stuck in a marriage that is never going to work out.

"The whole government was pushing me towards this marriage and Peggy was still not ready for that kind of commitment. I was stuck with you." Steve knew that the statement hurt you the moment the words escaped his lips. This was a revelation that rocked your world. And not in a great way, might you add. "You could have rejected the proposal."

"Do you think it was that simple for me? Dad has done so much for me and this was the one thing that he asked off me so I did not refuse. I thought that you agreed to this marriage and we could work it out in the future." Those dreams were being crushed right now and you knew that this marriage was doomed. It was like a hit to your gut and you felt caged in this room with your husband.

"Well, we can not." Leaving the room, you went straight to bed and cried yourself to sleep because there was nothing else you could add to that conversation.

After sometime, Steve came out of his room and made his way towards the kitchen. Opening the fridge, he took out the food to heat it up and realised that you made all of his favorite food. He was never going to admit it but he loved your cooking. Every night he comes in to the kitchen to eat all the food that you prepared for him. However, he realised that you didn't eat any of the food so you probably went to bed hungry. The guilt was eating him up and he felt helpless because he wanted to think that he didn't care about you. But sometimes, you don't even realise when a person is warming their way into your heart.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" Steve was home today and you were going out of your mind with boredom so you thought of asking him for some company.

"I am not in the mood." He was quick to dismiss the idea and turned around in the hallway while still scrolling through his phone.

"I just thought-"

"You thought nothing. Why are you so clingy? I told you I do not want to work on this relationship. You are the reason that I can not be with the love of my life. Please just leave me alone.” He rudely interrupted you because he was not in the mood to interact with anyone. Seeing a picture of Peggy on instagram, he became aware of the fact that he could not be with her because he is a married man now.

Peggy Carter had been the first person that he saw when he woke up from the ice after 40 years. She helped him to become Captain America and she was the most important person in his eyes. Those few months were really difficult for Steve but she helped him get through them. Peggy quickly became his girlfriend and when the councilmen wanted him to get married, he was quick to propose. But she told him that she was not ready to take that step and she backed off. He was still pining over her and it was not fair to blame you for everything but he needed to do that to make himself feel better.

“I am sorry.”

“(Y/N)-” You left before he could say anything else. There is only so much a person can tolerate.

Over the course of a few days, Steve noticed that you were indeed leaving him alone. You were not there to welcome him home when he got back from his missions and give him a massage even after he told you not to. You did not cook from him anymore and he really missed it. He loved the fact that you always made his favorites and you never even had to ask him. You haven’t talked to him since the night he yelled at you. Guilt was an emotion that he often felt whenever he saw you.

“So there is a charity event that we both are invited too. It’s black tie optional.” He leaned against the door as he watched you doing laundry.

“Okay, I will be ready.” These were the only five words that you have said to him in the past two weeks and they were not enough. He has missed you and your conversations. The house was too quiet now a days and he didn’t like it one bit. But he was too stubborn to be the one to break the wall.

“You have to wear a dress. Many people will be watching you because you are Captain America’s wife so please do not go with your sense of style.” He wanted to slap himself in the face when he saw you freeze. Why couldn’t he just have said something nice to her? Steve didn’t know how to talk to you without messing it up.

“Okay.” Sighing, he left the room and sulked in his bedroom for the remaining day.

You were never going to say it out loud, but you were really hurt by what he said today and that day. None of it was your fault and you have been thinking about ending this marriage. However, the thing was that you made a commitment and you were never the one to back out from things. You quickly finished doing the laundry and went to take a shower.

“Are you ready?” Steve fixed his bow tie before you opened the room and he was left speechless. You in a red dress with a slit running through the side was a side of you that he had never seen. So bold and outgoing.

“Yes. Just let me quickly apply my lipstick.” Watching you apply a red lipstick left him in a trance. His wife was truly something unique but he just ignored it. Shaking himself out of it, he thought about Peggy and how he loves her. You both left afterwards and the car ride was quiet with the exception of a few stolen glances.

‘We have to go hand in hand and smile for the red carpet.”

“Okay.”

You were always a little scared to walk in to these kinds of events and so you tightly clutched on to your husband’s arm. Steve knew that you were a little bit of an introvert so he squeezed your hand in response.

“I am going to go meet some councilmen.”

“I’ll be by the bar.” Making your way towards the makeshift bar, you ordered a martini and just sat there mixing your drink. On the other hand, Steve made polite talk with the councilmen and then excused himself to the washroom. He heard someone mention his name on his way to the washroom and that piqued his interest.

“Come on, I was never in love with Steve. He was my assignment from the S.H.I.E.L.D and that was it. I had to help Captain America adjust to this life.  I love you, Oliver and that is a fact.” Steve quickly left before he could hear anything else.

Honestly, he couldn’t believe that all those months spent with Peggy were just a lie and he was ruining his marriage because of her. He thought that it would hurt a lot but it was kind of a relief. He was now realising that he was never in love with her. It was kind of an obligation for him because he thought that he somehow owed it to Penny. But he didn’t and now he can finally give his marriage a fair try and not feel guilty about it.

“So what is a beautiful girl like you doing at a bar all alone?” Turning around, you saw Bucky with a smile adorning his face.

“Hi. It’s been such a long time since I last saw you.” You hugged your friend because he was one of the people that you were close to. You actually missed him in these past few months and were glad to see him right now. Getting in to a conversation was way easier than you thought.

“Hey Buck. What are you doing?” Your husband was quick to place his hands on the small of your back and you silently choked on his intimate gesture.

“I am fine, Stevie. Just catching up with (Y/N).”

“Oh okay. Would you mind if I take my wife to the dance floor?”

“No worries.” Silently taking you to the middle of the room, you both got to dancing and your breath hitched when he was so close to you right now. His cologne had taken over all your senses and you were drunk on him. God, it was pathetic but you could not help yourself.

“I want to try to work on our marriage.” You didn’t know if you were hearing things right now so you muttered a silent, “Come again.” He silently chuckled and repeated the sentence again. Looking at him, you stopped dancing and left the room.

“Why did you leave?” He found you at the balcony just staring at the stars with your hands wrapped around yourself. “It’s freezing.”

“Why? Why would you say something like that?” You whispered silently.

“I mean it. I want to try.”

“Don’t you love Peggy?”

“I have realised that I didn’t love her. It was like an obligation to me and I like you.”

“I can’t do this. You insulted me every chance you got and you made me think so low of myself.”

“I know and I am so sorry for that. I will spend my life apologising to you for it. Please, give me a chance.” There were some tears in your eyes and everything was becoming blurry.

“I can’t do that. I will always be your second choice.”

“No, you are not. Trust me, I have had feelings for you but I have been trying to repress them from the very start.” He tried to touch you but you took a step back.

“If we try this relationship thing out, will you promise me that you will tell me when you want to get out. We can get divorced right then and there.”

“I don’t want to be divorced and I will spend my life making it up to you.” He was quick to kiss you and it was way better than your wedding ceremony kiss. “I like you, (Y/N).”

“I like you too, Steve.” You went in to kiss him again and were glad that this marriage was going to work.

Hope you guys enjoyed it!!

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A/N: I love Captain America and I was happy to write a fanfiction about him. If you guys have any more request, I will be happy to write about them and message me if you want to be added to the tag list.

Tag list: @kalopsia-flaneur, @justile 

Like, comment and reblog.

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[buckyownsmylife]

Young and Beautiful - Steve Rogers smut

The one where you were supposed to be a one-night stand, but Steve won't let that happen

Warnings: smut, and a little bit of angst.

A/N: this was our first ever patreon-voted fic, chosen for the month of May! My patreons at the $3 tier get to send me their ideas once a month and two of them end up being voted so I can write one of them each month. June’s fic is the one where Ransom needs to get a sugar mommy, and if you want to suggest a story for our July’s fic, please consider becoming a patreon! Thank you to my darling @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog​ for reading this over for me.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

The first time wasn’t a mistake, I could admit to that. Steve had been coming to the same bar where I worked for almost a year now. I knew who he was, of course. Everyone knew - he was hard to miss. But I think what he liked about our run-down place is that no one seemed to care about Captain America and the things he did when he didn’t have a bottle of beer in his hand.

Over here, he was just Steve. And Steve tipped well and drank a lot - I was sure he couldn’t get drunk, no matter how many beers I served him, but he never stopped asking me for more.

So, needless to say, he was adored. Adored by my boss, who was always around to keep watch of his customers and keep them in line. Adored by Luke, who guarded the entrance, for all the nights Steve helped him get rid of men who couldn’t keep their hands to themselves. And adored by all the waitresses, for precisely the same reason - and because I always shared my tips with all of them.

Even the kitchen staff adored Steve. Besides, it’s not like he was hard on the eye - all the girls (customers and staff) were constantly fawning over him, but he was nothing short of a gentleman, always.

Actually, he seemed to avoid the members of the opposite sex as best as he could, clearly not interested in whatever it was that they planned to possibly get to do with him. Well, except for me.

He never avoided me. I always figured it was because I was the guardian of the alcohol - we’d even joke about it sometimes, when he came to sit by the bar after politely declining someone’s advances.

“It’s just hard to understand how to date nowadays,” he commented one day after a pretty girl actually asked him out on a date right in front of me, but he refused. I shrugged as I wiped the counter, thinking if there was any advice I could give him.

“It really isn’t that hard. You go out to dinner, walk her home and when you step in front of her door, you ask her for some coffee. She’ll usually do it herself, but if you want to show your interest…” His frown was amusing, to say the least, but I held back my laughter so he wouldn’t be even more uncomfortable.

“A coffee?” Giggling, I nodded. “Before bed? But…”

“It’s a metaphor, Steve. A lady can’t very well invite you into her sheets, now can she?” He blushed three different shades of red when I winked, another giggle escaping. “I mean, she can, but we like to keep some things unsaid - innuendos can be very sexy.”

Two months had passed and if Steve made use of my lessons, I wouldn’t know. He never brought anyone to the bar and never left with any lady who approached him either.

“What can I get ya, Steve?” I’d always ask. I’d never once called him Cap or anything other than the name he used to introduce himself - even though I obviously knew who he was. He always took his time before answering my questions, even if they required a simple yes or no, which amused me to no end.

For a while, I actually believed a gun or one of the buildings the Hulk had undoubtedly thrown in his direction had left him with a difficulty of hearing. But then after my first question, he never seemed to have any problem understanding me at all.

“Just a beer,” he’d say, a small, soft smile as he tried not to stare too much at me, fingers tapping on the counter while I got his order. I appreciated his effort not to make me uncomfortable - I knew he’d seen how often men did that to me. I had no doubt that was why he only ever looked me in the eye from under those huge eyelashes of his.

“There you go.” Always the same routine, we never once deviated from it. Until one night when I was supposed to close the bar and he heard my boss instructing me to be careful.

“There’s been a lot of robberies this late at night. Make sure you lock everything up properly.” I saluted in jest, making the old man laugh and shake his head at me. “See you tomorrow, kid.”

There were only a handful of customers - Steve included, and he was the only one by the bar, so I threw him a quick smile as I wiped the glasses and started to clean the counter.

“Can I get you anything else?” I offered, but he only grimaced in response, leaving me confused. “Is there something wrong?” He stared directly at me without answering for a while before he was able to snap out of whatever it was that had frozen him.

“You’re supposed to leave by yourself at two in the morning?” I chuckled lightly at his concern, avoiding his gaze so he wouldn’t see how it warmed my heart that he’d be preoccupied over me, someone that was a little more than a stranger to him.

“It’s part of the job,” I reassured him. “Well, usually it’s part of Luke’s job. But whenever he has to leave early, it’s my duty to fill in for him.” He nodded, but didn’t make any movement towards leaving. Usually, he would be gone by now, but it wasn’t that extraordinary for him to stay until the hour I left.

This was the first time he stayed this long though, considering I wasn’t the one responsible for closing the bar and I only realized it when I looked around and noticed we were the last two people left in the room.

“Planning on drinking much more?” I joked, trying to gauge if he was going to be much longer, but he seemed startled by my question, looking around to verify the same thing I’d just noticed.

“Oh, no. Not at all.” I smiled, thankful that he was conscious and wouldn’t force me to stay even longer after my shift had finished. “I just figured I could walk you home. It is pretty late, after all.”

My heart warmed up at how sweet and thoughtful this man was. He had no reason to wait for me to finish my job just to walk me home, yet here he was. “Thank you, Steve,” I acknowledged, sending him a grateful grin. “Let me just check the bathrooms real quick. I’ll grab my purse and we can leave.”

He nodded, watching me do as I said and in no time at all we took off together in the direction of my apartment. I wasn’t worried about making small talk with him on the way there - I knew he was a good conversationalist from all the times he had stayed by the bar instead of taking his beer to a table, and I adored the stories he told of his missions just as much as I appreciated how he genuinely cared about what I had to say.

The walk to my place seemed shorter than ever before, and in a few minutes we were standing in front of my door as I searched for my keys in my bag.

“C-Can I…” He murmured as I looked for it, glancing up at him and smiling to signal he should continue even though I couldn’t give him my full attention at that moment. “Would you… Do you have some coffee?”

I was so shocked that my head whipped up to stare at him, eyes wide and unbelieving. Did Steve… Did he… Did he want to have sex with me? “I mean… in your apartment, do you have some coffee in your apartment?”

The thought was so extraordinary that the second I realized his intentions, a fire of desire warmed my lower belly, not because he was Captain America, but because he was an attractive and sweet guy that was way out of my league and I couldn’t believe he was into me.

He kept talking as I kept blinking at him, trying to process what was going on. “’Cause I’d really like to have some coffee… with you… If you want some too…”

His voice got smaller the longer it took for me to answer him, until it disappeared completely and he cleared his throat. “Nevermind.” He was about to turn around and make a run for it, I was sure, but I was able to grasp his wrist just in time, signalling him to stop because I had something to say.

“I would love to make you some coffee, Steve.”

So yeah, the first time wasn’t a mistake. He was way too fucking sweet and I got hot just by seeing how nervous he was to ask me for some “coffee”, incredulous that I was capable of affecting this giant man that much.

So as soon as we were in my apartment, I tied up my hair with the little hair tie I always kept on my wrist during work and got on my knees for him.

And I cherished every fucking second of it.

The way his mouth fell open in a gasp when I reached for his jeans, the little moans he let out as I licked his member… I couldn’t close my eyes, too transfixed by his expressions to miss anything.

The way he pulled me by my hair to devour my mouth, hands so eager to undress me that he ended up ripping my blouse, but it only made me giggle.

The way his groan sounded almost painful when he picked me up, shoved me against the door and penetrated me, filling me so beautifully I hit my head back against the wood and didn’t even notice it.

He got me to cum without almost no preparation, just from the thrill of it all, the stretch of his member inside of me. When I urged him to cum in my pussy, the look on his eyes was enough to get me to cum again, milking him dry as he emptied himself with a growl, forehead dropping against mine while he tried to catch his breath.

I was expecting him to leave immediately or maybe stay for an actual coffee. I wasn’t expecting him to pull out, drop to his knees and start lapping his cum from inside of me, eyes as focused on mine as I had been for him only minutes before.

Burying my fingers in his short locks, I tried to keep myself up despite the way my legs trembled, but Steve just adjusted them so they’d be over his shoulders and held me up with his face buried in me.

I had never cum so many times in a row. But then again, I had never had a man eat his own cum out of me.

I fully intended it to be a one time thing, and that was my plan. I thanked him for eating me out, made him some coffee, giggled at his stories about his friends and for a second it almost looked like we were back at the bar, only the counter was my kitchen table and I was allowed to sit on the other side.

He didn’t ask to stay the evening and I breathed a sigh of relief after I closed the door behind him, ignoring the slight empty feeling that momentarily hit me. This is what I wanted, I reminded myself, and by acting the way I expected him to, he had made it clear that he understood the rules of the dating world he claimed to know so little of.

This was a one time deal. Nothing more.

But then the first night we saw each other at the bar again, it was when he burst through the door to punch some guy who came in just as I was closing, trying to steal the money we had in the vault. I was so fucking relieved to see his face that all I could do was tremble in his arms after the police came to get the robber, and of course I couldn’t let him go after that.

He walked me home and I didn’t even ask anything, just stood on my tiptoes to kiss his lips, using my grip on his shirt to pull him in as he helped me with my clothes.

“You’re so fucking pretty…” He moaned, and perhaps that should have been my first sign, the one that alerted me to stop what I was doing and not make this into a mistake I couldn’t take back.

He hadn’t talked the last time. He had never complimented me before.

“God, your ass…” He groaned as he palmed it, helping me over his lap when he took a seat on my couch, until I could fuse the both of us and ride us to hysteria.

But I didn’t mind. I didn’t mind because it felt so fucking good to be desired by him, to have him inside of me, cumming deep into my pussy only to eat it all out of me again.

It didn’t take long for me to learn about the errors of my way, though. In fact, it started the very next day, when he walked into the bar grinning from ear to ear and made a beeline in my direction.

“Hey, baby,” he greeted, and my eyes went wide as two saucers, especially when I saw him lean over the counter like he intended to peck my lips.

“Hello, Captain.” I quickly turned my back to him, facing the shelves of liquor to pretend that I was looking for something. My heart sank to my stomach as I took in what was happening, what I had just done in my effort to put some distance between us as if last night had never happened. “Can I get you anything?”

The time it took for him to answer almost had me looking at him from over my shoulder, but I restrained myself. “Yeah, you,” he finally said, and I breathed out in surprise. “Why are you acting this way?”

I panicked for a few seconds, reaching up for an already clean glass to attack it with my rag. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I tried to reassure the both of us, still incapable of looking him in the eye.

But I could see his massive body by the end of the counter from the corner of my eyes, where he always sat, and I saw him tap the old battered wood with his fingers - fingers he had used to spread me open for his tongue to reach - as he thought.

I hoped he would let it go. I hoped he would not.

“Fine,” he relented, and I froze, uncertain of what he meant. “I’ll come back tomorrow.” My head snapped up just in time to watch him leave, and he didn’t even look over his shoulder.

I tried to tell myself it was for the best. He needed some time to get over whatever the hell it was that he thought he was feeling and tomorrow things would go back to normal. But that wasn’t what happened.

He came back with flowers the next day, and I didn’t have any reasonable excuse not to accept it. He didn’t push for anything, just gave me the bouquet before asking for his usual drink. And then he proceeded to stay the entire evening right there, where he always sat, carefully watching my every move.

For the first time in a while, I broke two glasses in a single evening.

The day after that, he came with a box of chocolates. I couldn’t hide the smile because they were my favorite - I didn’t know how he knew it until he reminded me.

“You told me you liked them right when I started coming to this place.” His eyes were so heavy with a sad feeling that I couldn’t recognize that I had to avert my gaze. It messed with my heartbeat, it left my throat feeling dry.

“Thanks, Captain,” I softly acknowledged it, and I saw the way his grip on the box tightened. I saw it in the way it was slightly crumpled when I took it from his hands, but he didn’t say a word.

There was only so much that he could take, though. And I knew that. It didn’t help that my boss had caught onto his intentions and started to push me to go out on a date with him.

“Why don’t you give the poor guy a chance?” He’d incite, much to Steve’s utter glee.

“Yeah, Y/N. Why don’t you go out with me?” Steve urged, and although he never asked when my boss wasn’t around to initiate the teasing, I knew he wondered.

And the truth was that I wondered about it too. Because everything was screwed up now. When I gave him his beer and our fingers brushed, mine were left tingling. When I looked his way to find his gaze already on me, I shivered.

So yes, the second time was undeniably a mistake, but there wouldn’t be a third time. I’d make sure of it.

Steve’s P.O.V.

I was tired of waiting. I knew I had wanted her since the first time I laid my eyes on her, when I decided to stop at this rundown bar in the hopes of one night of crappy beer without being bothered by anyone asking for autographs or pictures.

I’d come here almost every night when I could escape the tower to watch her work, slowly getting her to warm up to me, and I fell for her personality in the process.

The way she clearly saw me as Steve, and not my title.

The way she always laughed at my stories and shared what had happened in the previous nights with the raucous customers.

The way she seemed to care about everyone and everything that came into contact with her.

So what started as desire became something deeper and for the first time since I was unfrozen, I found myself eager to understand what dating in this new century was like. I asked Sam for advice, and even Tony for any tips he could give me, but their general ideas didn’t matter to me when all I wanted was one single person.

Her.

So I asked her for her thoughts on the matter and was surprised with myself when I put them into practice. I was even more surprised when she accepted my advances and welcomed me into her embrace.

I was sure I’d never been happier than that evening.

But to have her pretend nothing had happened and even worse - treat me like a stranger after I had learned the taste of her skin? Nothing hurt deeper than that.

And still, I understood. I realized then that she hadn’t seen the situation the way that I had. She had thought all I wanted was a one-night deal - well, two-night deal - because I had never shown her anything to make her think differently.

So I set out to do just that. My way this time. And I was just about ready to ask her on a proper date when I was forced away for a whole damn month, having to resort to my hand and my memories of her body to get through the cold nights on the field.

The second I was back in the city, I only had one thing in mind. To get what I wanted, in whatever way she would let me.

“Can we talk?” My voice sounded clipped to my own ears, and maybe that’s why her mouth opened in surprise - or maybe it was seeing me at the bar so early, when there was barely anyone around, after being absent for so long.

“Sure,” she finally accepted, shrugging like it was no big deal, but I knew better than that. She might not know it, but I could read her perfectly, and I knew she was hiding her true feelings even to herself. I knew those feelings were deeper than she had ever felt. I knew they made her scared.

“Not here.” She stopped cleaning glasses then, frozen for a second before she looked around, taking in the fact that no one else was going to need her for a while. There was nowhere to run and maybe I was a jerk for doing this during her work hours, but I was a desperate jerk and I couldn’t wait a second longer.

“Okay.” She sounded small, and I knew what she was expecting to get out of this conversation. Closure, in one way or another. For me to finally let go of her. But I wouldn’t.

I wanted her too damn bad to let her escape like that.

“Go out with me.” I asked the second that the office door was closed behind us, and she immediately started shaking her head. “Yes, please,” I insisted. “Let me show you that I want more from you. I want so much more.”

“I can’t give you more,” was her answer, and she still avoided my eyes as she spoke. “One night, you even had two. That’s all I can give you. Please don’t ask me for anything more.”

“Why?” I asked, and the frustration in my voice was enough to get her to meet my eyes for the first time that evening. “Why are you trying to avoid this? I know you want me, Y/N. You wouldn’t have slept with me if you didn’t. So just tell me why.”

“I can’t,” she insisted, moving towards the door, but I grasped her hand to stop her before she could slip through it - much like she had done that first night, when I thought I’d screwed up any chance I had to ever be with her.

“Tell me why you’re holding yourself back from me,” I ordered, anger and desire creating an explosive cocktail inside of me, making my voice hoarse. I saw her shiver. I watched her break.

“Because it was too fucking good and I swear to God, if you get your mouth on me again, I’m gonna marry you.” Our expressions mirrored one another, eyes wide, mouths hanging open. She couldn’t believe she had let out her feelings like this. I couldn’t believe there was all there was to it.

I dropped to my knees before her.

“Come here.” I shoved her jeans all the way down to her ankles, sending the button flying somewhere. I couldn’t tell where and I didn’t care. All I wanted was to show her that there was nothing wrong with wanting this, with wanting me because as long as she allowed me to, I’d give anything to be with her.

My tongue was so hungry to taste her sweetness again. I licked a stripe between her lower lips before I could even get my hand there, spreading her with my fingers for easier access.

God, she was heavenly. I watched her let her head fall back against the door, much like the first time I was able to be in this position, and my heartbeat fluttered at the realization that this time, I was much closer to getting what I really wanted from her.

“I’ve been terrified of my own feelings for long enough,” I decided to confess, parting from her clit to be able to speak but slipping two digits inside her hole, filling her up, preparing her to welcome me. “I can wait for you to come to terms with yours. But I can’t keep myself away,” I warned, quickening my movements as I chased away the taste of her in my tongue. “So don’t ask that of me.”

Her moan had my eyes sparkling with excitement. I lowered my head to suck her button, see the way it made her thighs tremble on each side of my face.

“So fucking sexy,” I moaned against her cunt. “Come for me, sweetheart. Drench my face.” Her little cry of ecstasy denounced she was about to do just that, so I twirled my tongue around her clit, rubbing my digits against her sweet spot as her body tensed under my ministrations.

“There you go…” I whispered, fascinated with the way she looked after her release. It was like she glowed from the inside, muscles relaxing to accept my caresses when I finished cleaning her with my tongue and rose to my full height.

“Next time you try to pretend something between us didn’t happen, I’m gonna bend you over the counter and spank your ass in front of all of the other patrons,” I warned her before nibbling her earlobe. “Go out with me,” I tried again, and she took a deep breath before answering, looking up at me from under her eyelashes.

“Okay.”