#Steven Wright

[mudwerks]

"The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."

- Steven Wright

[oldshowbiz]

January 1981.

[paintingsandrecords]

sloth bear; ink and watercolor

last eight day’s listening:

sparks - the girl is crying in her latte

steve earle - jerry jeff

the new lost city ramblers with cousin emmy - the new lost city ramblers with cousin emmy

sparks - exotic creatures of the deep

sparks - in outer space

minor threat - out of step outtakes

paint it black - famine

steven wright - i have a pony

soulside - a brief moment in the sun

mary timony - mountains

soulside - this ship

dead prez - let’s get free

[angstymilfy]

…..or a very boring life.

[mooseyspooky]

New photography book came in!

[writerswritecompany]

Quotable – Steven Wright

Find out more about the author here

[odinsblog]

comedy break (old skool)

[antifiction]

Coffee and Cigarettes (2003), dir. Jim Jarmusch, Part 1/11

"Nice to meet you too. In a way."

[courseyoulovemeyoudontknowme]

Best Harvey Keitel movies and performances:

1. Reservoir Dogs - Quentin Tarantino (1992)

[oldshowbiz]

1986.

The Jim Jarmusch film Coffee and Cigarettes was originally a short film made for Saturday Night Live.

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

“everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.” — steven wright

[dilfpredator]

warren is the funniest character in this show my god

[gothbutterfly]

Steven Wright

[dare-g]

Books 41-50 of 2023 📚!

[gummyartstradingcards]

[therecordchanger62279]

I'm posting this because I think it's worth preserving. I don't see Steven Wright as often as I did when he was making the rounds of the late night talk shows, but I'm reminded how funny he always was whenever I catch episode 14 of season one of the Ted Danson comedy Becker. Titled "Larry Spoke," Wright played a character named Boyd Crossman who claimed he talked to God, and that God's first name was Larry. The script was obviously tailored to suit his particular brand of humor. It's one of the best episodes of that very fine series, and the list below will remind you of

The Genius of Steven Wright:

1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.

3 - Half the people you know are below average.

4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

8 - If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.

9 - All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.

10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend, ..... But she left me before we met.

12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?

13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.

19 - I intend to live forever ... So far, so good.

20 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name

25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.

33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.

34 - If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

35 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work