#(( THE AI IS NOT LONGER NICE. ))
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—I SAW YOU IN MY DREAM · Episode 11
#i saw you in my dream#i saw you in my dream the series#ryu ingkarat#putter phubase#yu x ai#isyimdedit#thai bl#thai drama#bl drama#bl series#my edits.#the second scene was longer#(actually they both were but they went into different directions)#but i wanted to keep the symmetry#and sometimes short gifsets are nice too#but the way the worry makes ai so careful in the end :(((
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I support the nuanced and varied debates against ai art from now til kingdom come, but by far my favorite one to use is extremely basic and simple and I will always always refer back to it so here you go:
Art is the expression of the human experience and you can't generate that.
#ragamusings#anti ai#anti ai art#i am versed in the other arguments about the whole system being built on stolen data#so there literally is no ethical way to use it to begin with#and etc etc etc#but art by definition is the expression of the human experience#any whenever you let an algorithm predictive model computing something take over that process#it is no longer art#even if it is nice to behold it is not art
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my bullets will find you.
(rage).
"He cast aside his physical form in order to etch the memories of rage and sadness deeper into his being." -Black Swan
"He really wanted to just fall asleep like this and never wake up. Until he heard those crude songs and those gentle words, and memories of yore surfaced once again. The unforgettable hatred turned into a weak light in the darkness and he followed it to walk toward the end of it all, exerting every ounce of his strength to rise once again to the surface." (Boothill's Character Story: Part III)
My Life Stood as a Loaded Gun
(really just this analysis, really).
hhhhhhh
his themes of being a dead man walking and absolute rage (being what's keeping him going) are my fuckin roman empire I love him so much Give him the world I beg 😭
as far as I can tell, the "my bullets will find you" were for Acheron, but it fits verrry well for any target of Boothill's, really, soooooo
this... uhh. Moodboard-esque doodle page of mine being the original reference. That one shot at the bottom left :)
#tbh kinda surprised I got this done in a day#I'm kinda proud of this#got the rage across nicely#also just like the doodle page I did#it's got 6 bullet holes#6 medal stars#6 feathers#6 crosshairs#:)#my art#ari's art#boothill#hsr boothill#boothill hsr#digital art#fuck ai#god Glazing this shit took waaay longer than it was supposed to :sob:#AND I learned that the color-perception shit was off AFTER I finished it and everything#(Change ur color-display/perceiving thing from perceptive to saturation)#uh I think that's it#obsessed with the fact that this “life” is only in service of retribution and rage and After that? Absolutely nothing.#He doesn't intend to Exist after that. There's nothing left for him. He's a dead man walking.#(But by the Skies Lands and Clear Waters of Aeragan-Epharshel is He Going to Make Them Pay)
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I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI.
#not dislike. its hate#it made me cry several times today#thinking of how my classmates manipulate our teachers#and chatgpt AIs can EVERYTHING#its so painful to think of it#today I broke down in the bus and cried#idc what people think. hiding my feelings any longer would destroy me from the inside#maybe youve also seen how people use freakin AIs in their exams#the thing is that:#we wrote an exam for which Ive studies for like 2 whole days#this week we finally got the exams back (w the grades ofc)#and ok Ive got a 3 (C in America syste#*m)#my friends who used chatgpt throughout the exam got way better grades (I didnt expect it otherwise)#PLUS#the most provocating messages from the teacher:#“10/10 POINTS :)” “YOURE ROCKING THIS” “YEAH”#💔#seriously#this breaks my heart#dont the teacher see something suspect in the exam?!#why cant they open their eyes and get modernized to reality.#& they KNOW- the students Im talking of. they usally have bad results.#once our teacher came to a chatgpt student and said the most miserable thing:#“youve been using duolingo a lot lately hm? thats where your nice grades come from 😉🥰”#you get it?#no- this peoson didnt learn.#no- this person isnt even interested in the stuff we learn in lessons#AWFUL feeling to hear the praisings of da teachers when *I* gotta sit among the gpt-students and look like Im a worse student than *them*#[writing this at almost 1 at night] still have some tears. this topic really has the power to destroy someones day. 💔💔
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I made a bluesky account!
@jascurka on bsky
#I know I made a twitter for art just recently but it turns out they will scrape all images for their AI model starting 15th Nov#so I will not be staying there any longer I think ^^; hope it collapses this time I'm tired of this#bluesky is really neat though! The tags work and all is nice#rambling#bsky
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yesterday in vocal synth news
#art#traditional art#fountain pen ink#virvox project#mizusawa takuto#voicevox#ia#cevio#voisona#also miku is there technically kind of. shes down there#sorry im not a piapro or vocaloid user i was more focused on the other things LOL#looks neat tho! im very curious about the kaito and meiko remasters#i was always tempted and curious but im not a huge fan of the weakness of their v3s compared to their v1s#so i hope we get some demo videos or something soon. or if not i hope in a month people post lots of videos LOL#also intrigued by miku nt update and v6 ai. i have no interest personally in using miku but im sure it'll be interesting#gumi and galaco v6 sound pretty good in my humble onion so im very curious#but anyway. back to ME hjkfsjhjrfds im so excited for takutos voice#itll be cute seeing all the little skits the japanese fans make and for me specifically you KNOW im gonna get on that song shit#im gonna make.... the most bizarre boyband on earth. there is some manner of catboy. and a 50 year old man. it'll be great#maybe i'll remake the yume no tobira cover hee hee#and ia.... oh baby ia.... im so happy you have no idea man i have been WAITING FOR THIS. okay please dont kill me for this but like#highkey i dont really care for her original v3 LOL its not bad or anything i just find a lot of v3 fem vocals sound like the same person#and this was painful for me because like im a gigantic lia fan. i dont need it to be a 1 to 1 recreation or anything but like#i was always so bummed out how thin ia's voice sounded. it felt like a bit of a waste how much the v3 noise removed all lia's warmth#and like the depth of her tone. and like it sounds fine. she sounds like a slightly more operatic miku when people tune her high and breath#which is very common and that sounds fine. but like i still felt like auauuuuuuuuhhhhhhh nothing i loved about lia's voice is there#cevio 1.0 was a step up it brought back a LOT of warmth (although you had to really push up the alpha to get the depth)#and while i personally dont hate the cevio 1 noise its nice to have a version that no longer sounds underwater <3#she sounds so rich now.... i still bump up the alpha a bit because i like lia's deeper work a lot LOL but its wonderfullllllllll#so good so so so so good im obsessed. yesterday was truly an Event for vocal synth news
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I was thinking about the Hatsune Miku robot created by missile_39 and jrharbort's words about it on mikufan.
While as a new miku/vocaloid fan 6 years ago I would have surely thought that creating a Hatsune Miku robot/AI was the ultimate goal, my thoughts sure have changed now. A robot or an AI just aren't fitted nor needed for that. It's more than singing popular internet/'otaku' songs. It's more than an appearance that everyone recognizes. It's more than the concerts. It's more than the video games. It's about all of this coming together and bringing joy to the people who created and keeps creating what is Hatsune Miku every day since 2007 and to those who will enjoy and share these creations. I don't think a robot (or anything else at all) can fit all of this inside it and convey it back. I think real-life Hatsune Miku is already there, there's a bit of it inside everyone's heart.
#*naruto's spirit stop possessing me and i cant cast the talk no jutsu on you any longer*#dont get me wrong hatsune miku robots made by individuals like this particular one are nice for showing/testing your abilities or making-#-their maker happy on their own scale just like any creation#but i think it's nice that it stops there. there's no need for more. the miku assistant thingies are nice but a full blown robot has no use#and would most likely cost a lot only to end up in the hands of Very Weird People you know what i mean.#hatsune miku#初音ミク#vocaloid#miku#miku hatsune#robot#ai
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the end of the semester is almost here and i’m already sobbing about how stressful it is. BUT! if i make it out alive, i have all of december as winter break.
so… in the meantime, if you wanna flood my ask box with unhinged scara thoughts, i won’t complain <33
“go ahead, darling, tell me all about it.”
#[the stars are a lie].✿#it’ll be a nice treat for when i return hehe#aka send scara requests please 🥰#i have longer projects in the works like a yandere scara ai bot and a full blown scara fantasy au series#art credits: @/acaelith on twitter#scaramouche x reader#wanderer x reader
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weekend melancholy is starting to kick in >~<
#im gonna go and do my food shop etc to keep myself busy and hopefully my 2nd meds will kick in and we'll be able to handle it together#i think i kind of do this so regularly bc my brain is just processing everything bc i dont rly have time during the week#all cool tho im doing good overall def on the up n i feel way more capable of coping emotionally which is nice. i <3 meds#also.. possibly settling on the idea that i might be agender. very tentatively. lots of experiences n thoughts coming together rn#ive been reacting in unexpected ways to a lot of gendered shit atm which has made me reconsider the way i think abt myself#but very difficult to articulate it to myself let alone anyone else. so ive been sitting with it for now until it precipitates#gender stuff has never rly affected me much or ive never been in a place to explore it which is why i havent thought abt it super hard#but im not the sort of person who needs a lot of internal exploration to figure out my identity like im v self aware tbh#and while im wildly indecisive abt most things in my life for some reason i never have been abt stuff like this. i learned abt lesbianism#like idk 9 years ago-ish and straight away was like yeah that makes sense for me. never looked back since#n similarly ive experienced forms of gender dysphoria before n just immediately dealt with it symptomatically n moved on#its never been smth to agonise abt for me like i know what makes me comfortable in my skin so theres no question abt doing it#and ik im privileged to be able to do that. and also it helps that gender for me is mostly divorced from external perceptions#+ that im v autistic so social pressures dont stick to me very well. i mean yeah i was bullied for it as a kid but i was stubborn asf#so yeah from the moment i realised i was genuinely uncomfortable/upset abt it earlier this week i was like okay. lets try this instead#its given me pretty instant relief from any distress i was feeling so far which is nice. rare respite from one of my torture labyrinths#just testing out internally whether it frames things more clearly n makes me feel more myself/at peace before i choose to stick w the idea#but not gonna do a whole coming out fanfare either way. dont think i wanna change how ppl interact w me + im still a dyke#so i dont consider it relevant to anyone else unless they share a similar understanding of gender to me. or if we're v close#ill prolly broach it w other trans friends eventually bc insert philosophers talking image. but to everyone else its business as usual#happy to play my cis-sona at work. + w new queer ppl i meet ive been introducing myself recently w mirrored pronouns instead of any/all#and i think i prefer that. virtually indistinguishable but theres smth nice abt inviting ppl to recognise me the way they do themselves#like translating + localising a non-gendered language into a gendered one... simplifying decisions abt how to perceive me#and ofc ppl are still gonna perceive me however but idc much unless we're actually friends. the rest is all a performance anyway#doubtful anyone on here ever has reason to refer to me but if u do for some reason... im freeloading off ur pronouns now btw <3#but yeahhh. much 2 think abt. i need to read more alien/ai sci fi.. non-human sentience has been such a comforting concept lately#but yea tldr i woke up one morning this week like damn im prolly agender but i have a full time job to go to rn so idc abt that#.diaries#okkkk my dex is kicking in im no longer on the verge of tears lets go get these groceries wooohoooo
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misc. daily life photos again .. for the every once in a while that I collect enough over a few months to actually make a photo set out of them lol
#Not sure how to caption every photo because you can unfortunately no longer caption photos so that text appears#under them when you view them. you can only add photo descriptions (which is more about literally describing#the image for people who can't see it or etc.). I wish they had the ability to have both captions and descriptions as both are useful for#different functions but it seems they took captions away entirely so. I guess I'll have to just number every picture and then talk about th#em in the tags or soemthing?? SO.. starting from top left to right --#image 1: blackberries BUT also if you look close.. there's a tiny little bug on them lol#image 2: little water droplets on the back of a leaf that looked cool.. love anything with tiny water orbs#image 3&4: a spiky fuzzy sort of caterpillar outside on a yardwork glove.. small friend#image 5: THIS is such a bad slogan!!! what a lie!!! I personally would LOVE to have a sandwich party! in fact I would rather attend a#sandwich party than a pizza party because it would be fun to sample a wide variety of sandwich platters with all different meats and chee#& breads & ingredients & etc. !! now I just wish I could go to a cool sandwich sampling party w a full buffet of various mini sandwiches :#image 6: a chicken sandwich I made myself at home. with swiss cheese >:3#image 7&8 : HHRGH it's a CAT and also bubble tea!!! AND is pastel teal! but alas.. it was like $20 and I didnt want to pay that but now#looking back on the photos slightly regret it lol. I think it's more because it's a brand name since the cat is some popular cat like hello#kitty or something. I didn't really notice that until later lol. I was just thinking 'OMG A CAT!'. I love all cats. brand or no brand lol#image 9: my single once a year trip to the drink place that has really nice garlic noodles. this time with beef? which was good too. And#the typical drink order of pina colada smoothie (i think it's coconut pineapple and strawberry?). plain matcha bubble tea (favorite and all#I ever get from anywhere). and a strawberry smoothie thing. I also usually get a coffee bubble tea but the place is like 50% of the time ou#of coffee for some reason so. hggh.. Which I know is like everyday food for some people but. I get food from places SO rarely that it's al#ays an event to take a picture about lol. Just cooking at home 99% of the time makes those trips for fancy food more special I guess#Id rather save the money/dont have much in the 1st place .& also am still a freak who hates using apps/dislikes shit like ubereats or etc.#I would literall NEVER get food delivered to my house under any circumstance unless I was dying alone inside on hospital bed rest with no#support system and no transportation and having food delivered to me was my last possible option. otherwise. if I want something so bad#I can just leave the house to physically pick it up myself without involving a middle man to the process and paying more. .. ANYWAY ghjgjh#image 10: BOY in BOX.. playing a new boardgame and he sits inside! rip to my big beautiful son. I miss him.#UpWords is a fun game though. It's similar to scrabble except you can stack the letters? interesting#Okay. that's all the pictures! Also for the record I do think it's a good thing to have image descriptions! I wasn't complaining in the sen#e that I wish they would get rid of them and bring captions back. more just I would like to have both preferrably. I liked being able to#caption things on the occasional post like this where the layout is better suited towards it.#photo diary
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the problem with wanting to learn an endangered language is how the fuck do i learn it
#stop!!! pointing me to duolingo#& then everything says it sucks for it anyway theyre like just find a tutor well thats all well and good if you live somewhere POPULATED#& most of the online ones arent even on this continent how am i supposed to deal with time zone hell... wake up its 7am teach me language#ive found some resources. im sorting through them. some links were to sites that apparently no longer offer the courses which is#so nice of them of course. of course#i need to sleep. the news about the duolingo ai shit has this worming its way back into my brain but i need to not think about it right now
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reading through a pathfinder book bc it has a bunch of cool ai and robot stuff and this one paragraph about robots stuck out to me:
Rogue or independent robots are usually much easier to converse with (as they aren’t usually set on some specific task that must be performed at all costs), but are just as uncharismatic. They are often interested in learning all that they can from those that they encounter but lack the empathy to truly understand biological life forms and their irrational actions. Such robots can discuss in great detail subjects in which they have achieved expertise, but often miss social cues and as a result are likely to insult, irritate, or upset those who try to communicate with them. Furthermore, as a result of its inherent curiosity, a robot often pursues a topic long after it has worn out its welcome—sometimes to the point of inadvertently inviting violence against itself. Thus, interactions with robots are usually uncomfortable at best and are typically avoided when possible. Theoretically, an independent robot with sufficient time and access to sentient biological creatures could become well versed in such interactions through rote observation. Though rare, such a robot could potentially gain a higher Charisma score through this type of study. Whether this would represent an actual change in the automaton’s “personality” or merely a convincing imitation by a highly intelligent parrot is a subject of intense debate among philosophically inclined members of the Technic League
the autism coding..............
#kcat talks#be nice to them the higher charisma score is learning how to mask /hj#anyway anyone want to run the iron gods pathfinder campaign w me specifically the divinity drive part#i would offer to dm it for my roommates if not for a) it being the last part of a longer campaign i think and b) bad at dming lol#and c) considering our last campaign evaporated idk if we'd be up for carrying on a new one#also i love how many of the ai/robot designs in this book look like angels it fucks severely
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bro kill me now my internship is something else and these 20 weeks are gonna be a test of patience and seeing where my limit is for shit i can tolerate
#the work itself is great and i love what im learning#but also one of my classmates i need to get along with for now is kinda right wing and says her generation is way too woke#and whenever she complains one of the co-founders amusedly agrees or jokes in some way#the n word with the hard r was dropped which did have me like dude thats not okay#and one of them watches me like a hawk cause im p sure he figured im massively uncomfortable but bearing it#they're looking into ai possible replacing certain things for them like concept art thus no longer needing concept artists#and they made nfts too#if i'd knoWN.... i wouldnt have gone here and been in friesland doing printing work which isnt what i wanna learn bUT YKNOW#i need my papers so i can't quit but i am... Bearing It#i can't even talk to school about some of the wholly inappropriate stuff of today cause they're on very good terms with the school#esp one of the teachers sO LIKE....... just..... grin and bear it..... make nice and then go DEAD SILENT on them forever#i dont want me having worked there on my cv either
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Heyoooo, I just unlocked all of my fics today!! Go enjoy!! <3
#which is really nice since i updated one of my stories today lol#can't let the AI scare me any longer!
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I would really like a single office day where I don't come home and play an evening-long game of Am I The Asshole?
#i probably am#coworker got mad at me today bc she used chatg/pt to write a list of revisions for me#and what it wrote was both incredibly condescending (chat/gpt feels the need to explain the basic rules of design like you're an infant)#and way longer than it should've been (we ask everyone to keep their posts short and sweet so that we don't have to read a whole paragraph#to figure out what the hell they want us to do)#so anyway i just told her 'pls just write out the tasks we don't need a whole chatg/pt essay for this'#and that made her mad bc she 'wrote everything up so nicely!' (no you didn't bitch)#so anyway we're caught in a loop of both thinking the other is a fucking asshole who's being a dick for no reason#also i sent her 2 screenshots just to explain that I'd thought 2 things were different sizes and she went ballistic#anyway... it's annoying bc i think she's our best designer but also. very much starting to not like her as a person#maybe i complimented her work too much. the other week she wrote out changes BY HAND that were perfectly clear and good#and i told her as much in the meeting#so....i guess this time she decided to use chatgpt? to be massively condescending bc CLEARLY i didn't just type thr wrong number somewhere#nooooooo CLEARLY i just don't understand web design at all!#also she got in a snit about 'of course X is Y pixels tall! we do all those meetings where we discuss the grid size!!'#which like....i am in those meetings and they are just the one dev trying to convince the designers to use the grid#and them coming up with a million reasons not to#sooooooo fuck me i guess for not expecting you to use the grid when all you do is piss yourselves about how were stifling your creativity#ANYWAY. so yeah maybe i am the asshole but in my defence don't use a fkn ai to write something that should take like 5 mins to write
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I'm now reaching that point in the year where I start REALLY REALLY wanting a VR headset again.
#tech yearning#I don't know if I posted much about it last year but I started playing this game called Banter#*The game is a VR game that also has a flatscreen client on Steam for context.#The community there is genuinely very kind and welcoming... but they use tons of ai 'art' and I couldn't reconcile playing it any longer#I started playing because they were hosting giveaways and I was waiting around to see if I might win...#*Specifically giveaways for quest 3 units#... But I started genuinely having fun with those people because they were so nice#I didn't have a single incident of someone bejng mean to me there. not in the game or the discord or even the subreddit (!!!!!)#They hosted an open mic night where I got on the stage and read my horror story 'stairwell'... And people CHEERED. Someone friended me after#I've never had such a smooth and kind experience playing an online video game in my whole life#But even still I can't justify staying in a community that condones art theft because it's in a wrapper of 'tech innovation'#all the same I miss it now I actually redownloaded it yesterday to take a look at what's up and there have been a few changes#Maybe if I get that new cheap quest 3 I'll pop in to see what it looks like in VR once or twice
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