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y-rhywbeth2 · 1 year ago

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Gods & Clergy: Shar

Link: Disclaimer regarding D&D "canon" & Index [tldr: D&D lore is a giant conflicting mess. Larian's lore is also a conflicting mess. You learn to take what you want and leave the rest]

And back to collecting lore on the evil deities! There's... a lot of information on Shar, so honestly this isn't even all of it just most(?) of it. Most of it isn't relevant anyway...

Overview: What if depression was a religion?

Clergy: If you don't have shit like depression and cptsd you're about to, courtesy of the Nightsinger! Society? Burn it all!

Nightcloaks / Nightbringers: Memory wiping. Whips. Making creepy man-shaped things of pure darkness.

Shar: Don't look her in the eye. Wear earplugs when she speaks. Don't let her kiss you. Avoid the talking severed heads and the tentacles... actually, just avoid this ancient eldritch horror altogether.

"Reveal secrets only to fellow members of the faithful. Never follow hope or turn to promises of success. Quench the light of the moon whenever you find it, and hide from it when you cannot prevail. The dark is a time to act, not wait. It is forbidden to strive to better your lot in life or to plan ahead except when directly overseen by the faithful of the Dark Deity. Consorting with the faithful of good deities is a sin except in business dealings or to corrupt them from their beliefs. Obey ranking clergy unless it would result in your own death." "Darkness is your cloak and your spur to action. Strike down the moon and those who serve it, and work against laws and law keepers, rulers and the powerful, by corrupting them and sewing dissension. Weave discord through secrets and rumours and falsehoods, so that all that is now mighty shall in time be swept away, and all that will still remain is in the darkness of Shar. Work in secret when necessary, obey your superiors in the Night Church without question or defiance, and give your life when Shar deems it needful, for you will reap her dark reward." - Shar's Dogma

The interesting thing about Shar, for all her intrinsic hatred of existence, is that she needs people - specifically "she feeds on [people's] suffering." Literally. She eats it. When she consumes their grief and misery, the sudden void of negative emotion causes a temporary surge of euphoria. Due to this relief, many people turn to "Shar's embrace."

Sharrans believe that by following Shar faithfully they will eventually reach an enlightened state beyond all suffering, however all that happens is that they're exposed to suffering and retraumatised again and again until they become resigned to and desensitised to it - their own and others'. Sharrans are much less useful to their goddess if they truly move beyond suffering, and instead the process is simply a cycle of abuse and depression as she farms them for sustenance and power.

As per the teachings: life is inane and existence was a mistake all are cursed to suffer because of Selûne's stupidity. All love withers and dies; you are alone, and always will be. This misery is inherent and inescapable, and it's better to embrace this fact than to hurt yourself by being stupid enough to feel love for others or hope for better.

All rulers and hierarchies are corrupt, according to Sharran doctrine, and everybody should be free to live their lives as they wish free of the laws and "morality" decided for them by others.

Everything that exists deserves to perish, and the right thing to do is to help the entropic process along.

Shar is ever-present, and wanders through the dreams of mortals, prodding at their hidden pains and whispering suggestions to them on how to act upon them. She offers the allure of relief to the poor, the lonely and ostracised, the grieving, the mentally ill... Victims of abuse often turn to her for relief and vengeance. On the every day level, people who need to work or travel at night or in the dark make offerings to her to placate her.

A lay worshipper is referred to as a Dark Follower. Sharrans are forbidden to hope, plan ahead or attempt to improve their miserable lives unless ordered to by the clergy, as part of Shar's design. They must not speak out against a priest, or interrupt any of their rituals and prayers for any reason. Lay worshippers must prove their loyalty and devotion by carrying out one crime or deed under the order of the clergy at least once a year, and try to bring others into the fold. They are strictly forbidden to interact with followers of good aligned deities (so you know stay away from people who follow, like, Selûne, who encourages comforting the lonely and making welcoming spaces for the ostracised; Lliira, who encourages experiencing joy; Lathander, with his thing about optimism and new beginnings... Don't want them hanging out with those people...)

If you have no need of Shar's "aid" then her clergy are at hand to fix that for you.

The members of the Night Church are known collectively as Darshars by outsiders, but they would refer to themselves as Martyrs. They have forfeit their lives to Shar in order to serve her, and know that she will eventually come to claim her due. They're generally under no delusion regarding the fact that their deaths are likely to come sooner rather than later, and Shar's tendency to discard her most powerful, loyal and favoured servants on a whim is well known - for all should experience the loss.

When addressing each other, Darshars address equal and lower ranks as "Brother/Sister/Sibling Night," and their superiors as "Mother/Father Night."

Novices of the faith are called Adepts of the Night. Full priests are Watchers. Hands of Shar have proven themselves in battle, and are placed in charge of several cells. A Darklord or Darklady is a region's senior priest, and sets policy for the church in their area. Nightseers oversee the activities of all Sharrans in a realm (a country). The Flames of Darkness are the highest ranking priests, answering directly to Shar. The standard training of the clergy usually shows, mechanically, through multiclassing as a rogue.

To become a Darshar, each priest much prove themselves by committing some terrible deed or other in Shar's name, after which the goddess will bestow a new name upon them. The nature of the deed and the name is called one's Own Secret.

Unlike lay worshippers, clergy are permitted to seek wealth and power, although it comes with the awareness that these things will not last. "If she uses [powerful individuals] as her tools now, there will come a day when she destroys them utterly, in favor of someone much weaker and very different. For that is the way of Shar. In her words, “Out of the darkness we all come, and to the darkness we all return. Some swifter than others, and many not swiftly enough.”

The senior clergy preach of Shar's "Dark Reward" - the raising of a dead Sharran as undead under the control of the clergy. Typically mindless undead such as zombies and skeletons. If Shar prizes the fallen individual's skills enough then she will actually resurrect them fully, augmented with her power. Such priests are the Shadowed, who have abilities such as turning invisible or into mist. They always bear a mark of Shar's corruption however; their eyes - including the sclera - are pitch black, and they can speak only in hoarse, cold whispers. One of their hands gnarls into a black talon. The rest of her priesthood views them with terror.

Darshars keep their hair long in homage to Shar (whose long hair is iconic). It's usually kept under a black skullcap, but women with naturally dark hair are permitted to forgo the cap because their hair is considered sacred to Shar. Black and purple are worn extensively, as are full body black cloaks and robes.

The black cloaks are called nightcloaks, which are enchanted to enable flight and mute ambient sound when the wearer wills it.

At night, some clergy let their hair down and walk the night, wearing nothing but their nightcloaks and their hair. They leave no barriers between themselves and the darkness that is their goddess.

Some priests wear enchanted wigs, woven into braids that can move and carry things (such as daggers), much like Shar's own hair is said to be animate.

Clerics who disappoint Shar/their superiors are forced to undergo thei penance surrounded by light - "the darkness if for those who deserve it."

Darshars are tasked with making society as miserable to live in as possible, so that more will feel loss and be brought into Shar's Embrace seeking peace. They corrupt the powerful, kill those who can't be corrupted and ferment rebellion, and murder people whose work is improving people's lives. They support thieves guilds and criminal organisations that make civilisation more unsafe and untrustworthy. They do generally avoid war and mass bloodshed, however. Shar requires converts/cattle, and it's hard to do that when they're all dead. Also murdering Selûnites and destroying their bases of worship wherever you can; can't forget that.

When a Darshar commits a murder, they are to ensure that the victim is aware that they died in Shar's name. Provided that this murder isn't being committed to foment strife and chaos by pinning it on somebody else, the Darshar will write Shar's name somewhere nearby with the victim's blood.

They're also to help others avenge slights, and publicise such stories, so that the desperate will turn to the Night Church for justice and vengeance and they do their best to present themselves as the superior option to the god of vengeance, Hoar.

They are to do all of this in utter secrecy, it should never be obvious to others who and what is behind these events. Often Sharran cells will found secret, non-Sharran cabals to do their dirty work for them. Hiring adventurers to commit crimes for them is another way. In order to form these cabals, Sharrans often run secret societies, hedonistic social clubs and false cults. They also maintain ties thieves guilds

Unlike the churches of other evil deities, the Night Church is often outlawed simply because they fundamentally won't stop disrupting society. Occasionally, the church will agree to follow the laws and keep their destruction of people's mental health to manageable, more one-on-one levels, and are allowed to build temples and worship. They have such a temple in Silverymoon, which must begrudgingly co-exist in public with the Selûnites there. Sharran worship is also open in Calaunt, Mulmaster, Scornubel, Sembia and Westgate.

Generally speaking though, the church is happier to remain underground where they can do the work they truly "need" to. The Night Church is explicitly illegal in Waterdeep, Baldur's Gate, Amn, and the entirety of the Dales and Cormyr.

They have a complex hierarchy; they work in cells, and every member has a direct superior they answer to. Multiple cells may be active in the area, and while they may know each other and sometimes lend aid, they don't work together or maintain connections to prevent attempts to crack down on Sharran activity from taking down every cell in the area. Nobody knows the true name of their co-conspirators or their leaders, and many of them die in their attempts to subvert society (getting executed for their crimes is a common way to go).

There are no holy days on the Sharran calendar, except for the Feast of the Moon, which they call the Rising of the Dark. Sharrans gather together for a blood sacrifice, and the lay worshippers are told of the plots and aims they are expected to aid in the coming winter.

The most important daily ritual is Nightfall, held every night. There is a brief payer, sometimes in the form of a ritual dance and sometimes involving a sermon. There is a feast and everybody begins dancing (or joins in, if one already started). If one cannot attend group prayer, then the worshipper must dance alone in Shar's honour, wherever they are. Lay worshippers must also either perform a crime or act of cruelty or report one to the congregation. Nights where the moon is not visible are called the Coming of the Lady and the entire congregation is set to task carrying out acts of vengeance and cruelty in Shar's name.

The Kiss of the Lady is the most important ritual, traditionally declared at the whims of the leading priests in the Temple of Old Night in Calimport (Old Night is the oldest of Shar's temples, built in -373 DR). Shar's worshippers engage in a night-long revel of murder, chaos, horror and cruelty ending in a celebratory feast at daybreak.

Representations of Shar in religious art (typically found in temples) show either a black sphere outlined in magically animated purple flames; or depict her as a smiling human woman with sweeping raven-black hair dressed in swirling black clothes. Her eyes are large, with the irises and sclera being solid purple around black pupils. Her temples are usually built under what appear to be legitimate businesses or private residences.

Those of the clergy chosen by Shar to serve her personally are the Nightcloaks, also called Nightbringers.

They can create supernatural darkness in their surroundings that extinguishes all light

Cause temporary light blindness in others

Erase the memories of the last few minutes from the minds of those around them

Cause nightmares

They can conjure doors made of pure darkness and step through, which makes them seem to have teleported (although they've only turned invisible)

They can cast a veil of illusion magic over their surroundings, making them appear totally different (tailored to whatever the priest wants them to look like)

They are a tiny bit more powerful, physically, while in the darkness, but are a tiny bit weaker when standing in the light of a full moon.

They can wrap darkness around themselves, or another, which fully obscures their features and serves as a minor form of armour (including against magic and psionics). They can see perfectly through the darkness, but effects that require eye-contact can't affect them. If cast on an undead being then they're immune to a cleric's turning ability.

They can create a whip of flickering darkness. The strike of the whip does damage and has the same effect as turning on Undead struck. Contact causes pain so unbearable it may cause seizures. The whip passes through inanimate matter harmlessly, and can't be used to tie people up.

Darkness can be moulded into something vaguely human-shaped under the control of the priest. It levitates in the air and suffocates all sources of light it touches. The priest can vaguely "see" through it if they choose.

They can fire a beam of pure darkness from their outstretched hand, which passes through inanimate matter and non-living beings but causes suffocating cold and pain to the living it strikes. The target it overwhelmed, and struck with a supernatural silencing effect for up to four minutes.

The Lady of Loss is a Neutral Evil deity, and her domain has been in different places over the years. Originally her realm, the Palace of Loss, resided in the Grey Wastes of Hades and later moved into the Plane of Shadow (aka the Shadowfell) where it was known as the Palace of Night. After the Plane of Shadow moved closer to the material world during the Spellplague she moved to the Tower of Night, which was in the Astral Plane. Considering that 5e has mostly reversed all of 4e's changes, she has presumably returned to the Palace situated in either the Shadowfell or the Grey Wastes.

Shar is described as a "deeply twisted and perverse being of endless petty hatred and jealousy. [...] She revels in the concealed, in that which is hidden, never to be revealed."

Shar is omnipresent, she is the darkness and she is everywhere. She is aware of every single person, object and action that takes place in the darkness.

Another deity, Ibrandul god of caverns, the Underdark and other dark places within the earth. She felt that this was encroaching on her turf, and she murdered him for the offense and took his portfolio and his worshippers during the Time of Troubles. Most of his followers were unaware of this, because Shar enjoys deception and simply presented herself to them as Ibrandul. She usually used them to attack Selûne's followers without drawing attention to her main church. (As of the Second Sundering Ibrandul is... probably alive again, but for all anyone knows it's still Shar pretending to be him)

Shar has two avatars:

The first is the Nightsinger: a 12ft tall woman wearing a mask made of the feathers of every type, trailing away into the cowl of her cloak. The cloak becomes increasingly intangible as it merges into the nearby darkness. She is constantly singing softly, even when she speaks, and her song feels hauntingly beautiful - and engenders a feelings of tragedy and grief. She can manifest supernatural darkness in her surroundings at will. Her song drains away memory and experience (in mechanics, she drains character levels and inflict the feeblemind spell). Listening to it may cause one to experience an unearthly chill (which inflicts cold damage) and can even cause listeners to drop dead on the spot. -

As the Dark Dancer Shar stands at 7ft tall, and appears as though the night sky has been moulded into the shape of a human woman. Her skin is jet black and glitters with stars. Her eyes are just as dark, and her gaze is both hypnotic and capable of enchanting those who meet it. If she kisses a mortal she places a magical compulsion on them - if they surrender to it they will become her loyal servant, and if they chose to resist the spell will kill them (this is an active choice for the victim - surrender or die). The spell can only be removed by rewriting reality with a wish spell so that it never happened, and the victim is fully prepared to die for Shar.

Shar's hair is prehensile, and moves at her bidding while ignoring the laws of physics (gravity and the wind are irrelevant). She hisses and speaks softly, never raising her voice, even in anger.

Her lesser manifestations involve tendrils of pitch darkness forming where they shouldn't be able to. They writhe, curl and swirl in constant movement, and a nimbus of glowing purple surrounds them. Sometimes one can see a glowing purple eye at the heart of the dark staring at them, but even when the eye isn't visible one can feel a presence within the darkness watching. In some stories, the darkness that blankets the world is described as Shar's hair falling over it. Presumably these are the individual strands. When a tendril touches one of her followers she can transmit her thoughts into their head - sometimes these are instructions or advice, and sometimes she reaches into their minds and numbs their ability to feel pain. She never heals their physical injuries, only allows them to ignore their suffering until they succeed or collapse/drop dead from the damage.

Her messengers take the form of these tentacles and other, more alien, shadow monsters.

Another fun manifestation Shar enjoys is severed human heads that fly through the darkness at night. They fly silently through the darkness, and Shar sees through their eyes, hears through their ears and occasionally speaks through them.

Shar hates all the other gods (especially her sister, and the sun god Lathander (and Amaunator before him)). She has tolerated an alliance with Myrkul, worked with Cyric to cause chaos, and Talona plays the sycophant to her in the hopes that Shar will help her kill Loviatar one day.

In response to the formation of Mystryl's Weave, during the early days of creation, Shar studied it for a while, eventually creating her own form of it - the Shadow Weave (called the Dark Lady's Weave by her followers). Where the Weave forms the tapestry of reality, the Shadow Weave fills the negative space of nonexistence between the gaps. To utilise her Weave "safely", one must be a follower of Shar or have their patron deity request her permission on their behalf. One deity she works with frequently in "lending" her Weave is the drow god Vhaeraun. One who attempts to use the Shadow Weave without her permission will lose part of themself - and it's already pretty good at having horrible side effects and destroying your sanity. It works well for spells that corrupt, destroy, drain life and smother the senses, but is less useful for effects that create.

Shar hopes to kill Mystra and supplant the original Weave so that she will be the only source of power for mages on Toril. Unlike Mystra, she places no restrictions on its use.

Shar and Selûne were twin halves of the primordial Two-Faced Goddess born shortly after the birth of the universe. There was no time or space, only a void containing themselves, the Overgod Ao, and shadowy beings known as the Shadevari.

Together they created the planetary bodies of the solar system, including the Earthmother, Chauntea.

When Chauntea begged for warmth to nurture life upon her, the Two-Faced goddess experienced conflicting desire for the first time. Selûne was willing to grant the Earthmother her wish, but for Shar, the very concept was a horrifying antithesis to her very being.

The argument between the two spawned the concepts (and gods) of destruction; such as war, disease and death/murder. Eventually, Selûne reached into the Elemental Plane of Fire and drew a portion of it into Realmspace, and fashioned it into the sun - a process that burned her.

Shar's rage doubled, and she began to snuff out every light she could find in the universe, causing Selûne to tear out a part of her own essence and fashion it into a weapon that she threw at Shar in defence of the new-born life of Realmspace. This portion of Selûne passed through Shar and formed itself into the Weave - the goddess Mystryl (who would one day be called Mystra). Mystryl sided with Selûne, and Shar was forced to concede bitter defeat now that she was utterly outnumbered, and swore revenge against all of them.

Shar retreated into the dark to recover, and found allies amongst the Shadevari, who also shared her resentment at having light and life brought into the previously dark and silent universe.

This battle has left Selûne permanently weakened, and her strength waxes and wanes much like the phases of the moon. The two sisters continue their argument - and Shar is boldest when her sister is at her weakest.

#As always with the long posts I hope this is coherent #Honestly I hear evil goddess with prehensile hair made of darkness and I remember Eris from that animated Sinbad film...#shar's relevant enough to give the game's main tag I think #shadowheart #dark justiciar shadowheart #bg3

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pigeonp0st · 4 years ago

Note

could u do nat taking care of r when r gets sick (pretty please i beg of u)? preferably lots of cuddles 🥺🥺

idk i just love soft!nat 🥺

Natasha Romanoff x Reader #5

Words: 1,689

Warnings: none?

Notes:

I didn’t really like how this one turned out but i’ve finally decided that staring at it in my drafts with disappointed isn’t gonna make it any better...so here it is. Thank you for requesting, and sorry for spelling mistakes. Hope you enjoy!

———

It started with a cold. Just a couple of sneezes, a runny nose, and a sore throat...the usual.

It started out with you trying your best to hide it. Hide the sickness. That plan went under the moment Natasha heard you sneeze during training... she had you confessing to your sins much too quickly.

Suffice to say she immediately kicked you out of the training area with demands to take some medicine.

So she was the first to realize that you were sick, and she was the first to realize you were getting worse instead of better. She’d pester you endlessly when you wouldn’t want to talk about it, and watch over you like a hawk.

It was sweet, but you also didn’t think it was necessary. You were sure you’d be fine in three or so days.

How wrong you were.

When you wake up with a 103° fever for the third day in a row it has you layed in bed for the whole day groaning about the inequalities of the world, and begging Natasha not to get a doctor for the 100th time.

You were fine. Totally fine.

Natasha watches you with a mix of amusement and concern from the corner of the room and suggests, gently, that maybe you’re not.

You peak over your covers to glare at her in something like betrayal. “I’d be fine if you’d stop pacing and come cuddle with me.”

She seems to think about her options for a long moment and right when you think she’s going to reject you she relents with a heavy sigh and gets into the bed.

She’s so blissfully cold it has you snuggling into her side immediately, both to warm her up and use her as your own personal ice pack.

“You’re burning up,” Natasha whispers, but she pulls you closer to her—like somehow if she’s close enough she can absorb some of your pain and make you feel just that little bit better. “If your fever rises even a little bit we’re going to the doctors, okay?”

She’s concerned and worried, and even though a stranger fussing over you is the last thing you want you know you have to give her this.

As soon as you nod your head in agreement some of the tension seeps out of her body, much to your relief. As ridiculous as it is, you’re worried about her worried about you—if that makes sense.

“Around 100,000 people died from the flu in 2019,” Natasha mumbles against your forehead. She adds quietly after a moment, “just in case you were wondering.”

You were not wondering. What the fuck.

“Nat...that statistic is mostly old people.”

“Yeah,” Nat agrees, “you’ll be fine.”

And despite your body's protest, and how much of a pain it is to pull away, you do, just so you can give Natasha an incredulous look so she knows just what you think about what she’s doing right now.

Her face is unexpectedly vulnerable when you see it. She isn’t trying to bother you...she’s just…she’s worrying herself crazy.

“Nat,” you sigh, ready to embark on the most comforting and articulate speech you can think of, but a sudden fit of coughs has you turning away hurriedly to muffle your face in a pillow.

When your lungs finally decide to stay in your body for now, and Natasha stops rubbing your back, you’re too tired to try and comfort her, so instead you mumble, on the verge of sleep, “if I die; just know I love you.”

Which, in hindsight, probably doesn’t help much.

But she doesn’t sound worried when she replies, just exasperated and fond. “I love you, too.”

———-

When you wake up again it’s to a bunch of kisses and beautiful red hair.

“Stop attacking me,” you grumble, trying to push her away, but you're not able to hide your smile. God, you love your badass (soft) girlfriend.

“Look who's not dead!”

Remembering your last words to her before you went to sleep has you finally opening your eyes and giving Nat a sheepish smile. Oops. “Look who really wants to get sick…”

“My immune system is stronger than yours,” Natasha scoffs, shoving both your medicine at you and a bottle of water.

“Asshole,” you mumble, moving to open the medicine bottle only to get stopped by a hand on your wrist. “What?”

“You need to eat first.”

Thus, starts the trip towards death.

————

“Oh my god, how much farther is it…”

Your fever is finally down and back to safer levels so naturally Natasha has insisted that you’re able to go to the kitchens yourself and sit outside to eat.

You need fresh air, she said.

The room is getting stuffy, she said.

It’ll be good for you, she said.

What a fucking devil.

“You’re literally the most dramatic person to ever grace this earth,” Natasha tells you for only the millionth time since the journey began. “Maybe if you stopped sliding against the wall and crawling on the floor like you got shot three times we’d get there faster.”

“Maybe if you’d help me—”

“I tried! But apparently i’m ruining your image.” She rolls her eyes when she says that, then turns away to grin like she thinks you won’t notice.

You’re a whipped idiot who's decided to make a complete full of yourself and waste what little energy you have just to get your girlfriend to laugh, and to prove to her that you’re doing better.

You’re definitely going to regret this later, but now, in the moment; This is totally worth it. No doubt.

————

Wanda is in the kitchen.

As soon as you see her you straighten up and stop leaning on the wall (and limping). Natasha laughs next to you when she notices.

“You’re doing better, Y/N?” Wanda asks, glancing over you before returning back to the soup she’s making. For you. She’s making soup for you.

You adore her. She’s your favorite person, she’s—

“Not your girlfriend,” Wanda interjects, amused, “and doing this as a concerned teammate, and because your girlfriend asked.”

“Yes, well I love you anyways. Your cooking has gotten very good,” you say, shooting her a grin while you practically bounce to the dining chair, in stark contrast to the way you were dragging yourself down the halls.

Natasha does a good job at trying to not look confused, but she clearly is. Unfortunately, or fortunately, Wanda informs her before you get the chance to.

“Favorite person for making you soup?” Natasha asks once Wanda’s done relaying your thoughts. She narrows her eyes at you then. “Not the person who has been taking care of you since you became an avenger, not the person who—”

“It’s very good soup, Nat.”

“Very,” Steve agrees from the living room.

Natasha sighs, takes a sniff of the soup, and resigns herself to the facts she’s faced with. “Yeah...it is.”

——-

“Close your mouth,” Natasha orders, tapping your chin. You listen, waiting patiently for the beep of the thermometer to signal it’s done.

When it does, Natasha pulls it back to study it. There’s a small lapse of anxious silence before Natasha reveals the results. Then...“Ninety-Nine. You’re officially a healthy woman.”

And with that, you’re finally free of the bed rest and able to walk the halls as a newly restored human being.

“I’m free,” you shout, tackling Natasha onto the bed and kissing her all over her face, completely overjoyed. “Natasha, I survived!”

You survived. It only took an exhausting week. When your fever went down a couple of days ago it spiked to 105° a bit after and you were sure you were going to suffocate in Natasha’s worry because of it. You had to go to the medical room...it was awful.

But now Nat laughs, and laughs, and then pulls you into a tight hug to stop all of the kissing. She seems to be unburdened and lighter now that she finally has the numbers she’s wanted.

“Loving you as much as I do is really just living in this constant state of worry and fear,” Natasha says when you’ve both settled down. “I do not like things being out of my control,” she admits, kissing the crown of your head. “Especially when it involves my heart.”

“Your heart,” you repeat, curious. “Is that what I am?”

“Ignoring the worry and fear part?” Natasha teases, quirking an eyebrow.

“We both know those feelings are accompanied with a multitude of good and beautiful emotions. I feel them too.”

Natasha smiles then, soft and gentle, and full of admiration. “Yes.”

You tilt your head. “Yes...what?”

“Yes, you are my heart. Or at least you feel like you are.”

At that, with a determination and seriousness that visibly shocks Natasha you say, “i’ll protect it. I’ll protect myself, and because you're mine also, I'll help protect you. Always.”

“Always,” Natasha agrees, her fingertips trailing across your cheek. “Thank you, Y/N.”

“Yeah,” you mumble, embarrassed suddenly, “of course.”

————

“Are...are you serious?”

Natasha scowls into her tea and says nothing in response. This is fucking hilarious.

Your lovely girlfriend doesn’t seem to think so because the second she sees your face struggling not to laugh she begins glaring at you. “Don’t,” Nat warns. “Don’t you fucking dare—”

“I seem to recall you saying, and I quote, ‘my immune system is stronger than yours.’” You grin. “Oh how ironic this is.”

“I’m not sick—”

“Aw, but baby, the amount of tissues on the floor seem to be saying otherwise,” you gesture towards the growing pile, feeling absolutely no sympathy until Natasha glances at the pile with a sigh of defeat. She looks so small and sad covered in her pile of blankets...it simply won’t do. “Don’t fret, my love. I will take care of you, just as you took care of me,” you assure her, leaning down to kiss her forehead.

“First things first,” you tilt her chin up, “i’ll get Wanda to make you some soup so you can take some medicine.”

“I hate the world,” Natasha grumbles, mumbling some curses in russian.

“I love you, too.”

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religioused · 4 years ago

Text

You Are Not Cursed

Pride Church Service 2021

by Gary Simpson

Hebrew Scripture Reading: (CEV)

Genesis 3:8-15 Late in the afternoon a breeze began to blow, and the man and woman heard the LORD God walking in the garden. They were frightened and hid behind some trees.

9 The LORD called out to the man and asked, "Where are you?" The man answered, "I was naked, and when I heard you walking through the garden, I was frightened and hid!"

11 "How did you know you were naked?" God asked. "Did you eat any fruit from that tree in the middle of the garden?"

"It was the woman you put here with me," the man said. "She gave me some of the fruit, and I ate it." The LORD God then asked the woman, "What have you done?" "The snake tricked me," she answered. "And I ate some of that fruit."

14 So the LORD God said to the snake: "Because of what you have done, you will be the only animal to suffer this curse— For as long as you live, you will crawl on your stomach and eat dirt. You and this woman will hate each other; your descendants and hers will always be enemies. One of hers will strike you on the head, and you will strike him on the heel."

Opening Prayer:

Companion God, today, we accept the clothes you make for us after each mistake. And we seek to wear them with pride in being the people that you created. Amen.

Reflection:

Today, I am wearing orange, because orange is the color used to Represent people who went to residential schools for indigenous children in Canada. In today’s service, we are weeding a few elements regarding the Kamloops, British Columbia residential school in with the service.

J.P. Fokkelman wrote the chapter on Genesis in The Literary Guide to the Bible. Fokkelman notes that there is a poetical form in the story of humanity’s fall.(1) I have heard theologians take the position that poetry in the Bible should not be taken literally. The Companion Bible takes the position that this passage is literal history that uses figures of speech for emphasis.(2) When I see poetry in a passage, I try to dig a little deeper than a literal interpretation, because the Biblical author might be trying to make a much deeper point, a point that will resonate even louder in the heart. Today, we can get out the excavation equipment and dig a little deeper.

There are different ways to view the story of Adam and Eve sinning. There is a Christian understanding, which most of us are familiar with, a Rabbinic Jewish understanding, and a Gnostic understanding. As Christians, we have generally seen the narrative in our Genesis reading as the fall of humanity. The fall seems to be the dominant understanding in Christianity.(3) While Rabbinic Judaism tends to see this Genesis narrative as an event that changed humanity, Rabbinic Judaism does not see this story as the fall of humanity. Sin moves from being present outside of humanity to something that is also present inside humanity. Judaism tends to see humanity as now subject to death, but not as “damned or totally separated from the divine.”(4) The Gnostics tend to see the story of Adam and Eve eating the forbidden fruit as a “coming of age" story.(5) Because Gnostic interpretations could be the topic of a lecture, I will not get into them. I tend to see this as a coming-of-age story, with multiple shades of meaning.

John Gill, the 16th Century theologian and “prolific author,” wrote commentaries covering the entire Bible.(6) In Gill's Exposition the observation is made that Adam and Eve must have known that they were naked, but now they found themselves feeling shame at their own nakedness.(7) Shame, remorse, guilt, and fear were previously “strangers” to Adam and Eve.(8) As a result of Adam and Eve's mistake, the descendants of the Eve are wounded, but have the hope that there will be a “definitive victory over evil.”(9) I believe God tries to restore the inherent worth and dignity of the couple. “God gives Adam and Eve the loincloth . . . for their dignity.”(10)

“God makes the first move to counter sin.”(11) God walks in the garden. Some Bible commentators believe that God is a spirit, so God was not literally walking through the garden. One of my Bible commentaries describes God as “walking in a visible form – not running hastily, as one impelled by the influence of angry feelings” and says God was “uttering the well-known tones of kindness.”(12) Commentator Matthew Henry sees significance in the time of day that God came walking through the garden. God did not walk during the hot part of the day, because God was not angry with Adam and Eve. God did not come at night, when Adam and Eve's fears would have been much higher. God walked through the garden during the cool part of the day.(13)

In the order of events, God’s first question is not about the mistake of eating the forbidden fruit of the tree; it is about shame. God asks, "How did you know you were naked?" That question is followed by the question, "Did you eat any fruit from that tree . . .?” I picture God asking, “How do you know you are naked?” Following a long silence, during which Adam and Eve are too afraid to respond, God asks the second question. “Did you eat from that tree?”

Perhaps, there is importance of the order of the questions God asked Adam and Eve how they knew they were naked, how they knew they were shameful and deserved to feel shame, debilitating shame. Then God asks, “Did you eat from that tree?” God’s first concern seems to me to be more related to who told Adam and Eve that they were naked, who told them that they should be ashamed than it is to the fact that they disobeyed God.

Adam’s defense for disobeying God is blaming Eve. And Eve blames the snake. Contributors to The Abingdon Bible Commentary observe, “The snake is not even allowed to make a defense, for his guilt is too obvious.”(14)

Contributors to the Christian Community Bible make this point. “God curses the serpent but not humankind.”(15) Other animals are not cursed. Only the snake is cursed.(16) The ground is cursed by God, but humans are not cursed.(17) This is an important point. Humanity is not cursed. Those going through a coming-of-age experience are not cursed. LGBT+ people are not cursed. Emphasizing this point: You are not cursed.

There is a cool story of a crow and a fox. The fox was hungry and was hoping that the crow would come down from a tree, so the fox could dine on crow. The crow would not come down from the top of the tree. Using a religious appeal, the fox tried to convince the crow. He points out that in the Talmud, an ancient Jewish commentary, the lion and the lamb lie down together, and that the fox and the lamb will lie together.(18)

Then the sounds of hunting dogs could be heard. The fox got scared. The crow pointed out that the fox had no reason to be afraid, because the fox is a Talmud scholar and knows what Isaiah said. The fox replies that he knows what Isaiah said, but the dogs don’t, as he slinks into the bushes to hide.

Those foxes who cite the Bible, book, chapter, and verse, to condemn those who are coming of age and to especially condemn LGBT+ people find the hunting dogs of guilt and shame come after them, because they have not tasted much of the love of God.

Thousands of years later, God still “seeks out those were hiding among the trees in shame, who have patched together clothing of their own making, who are afraid of God.” God is the garden of our lives wanting to “restore relationship.” God is not in the distant heavenly, “arms folded.” God is present, asking, ‘Where are you?’(19) And the voice is a quiet, calm, concerned voice, not a voice of anger.

Lama Rod Owens is a Buddhist teacher, a lama. Owens wrote the book Love and Rage: the Path of Liberation Through Anger. He gave the April 2021 Boswell Lecture at Pacific School of Religion. He said, "Conditional love is an act of psychological and spiritual terrorism."(20) I agree with him. God is not a psychological terrorist and God is not a spiritual terrorist. God’s love is unconditional and eternal. You can never outrun, outlive, outlast, or out hide God’s love by living in the closet. Gods' love cannot be shamed away or scared away by fig leaves.

I want to speak directly to people of Indigenous heritage and then I will conclude. Saying the last week to ten days was painful is an understatement. Words cannot begin to describe the news regarding the Kamloops residential school. Those who shamed, degraded, and dehumanized you are in the wrong. You are not in the wrong, and you were never in the wrong.

In the midst of pain, degradation, and shame felt First Nation, Inuit, and Métis people, God walks through the garden and asks, “who told you you were naked?“ And God restores dignity and worth.

God surveys your coming of age mistakes, moves to help you feel shameless and then God speaks words of condemnation to those who made you feel shame, to those who made you feel defective and worthless. But God does not curse you. You are not cursed. The Kingdom of God is a shame-free place. You are not cursed. You are loved, not cursed. Hallelujah! Amen. Now go. Live in Pride.

Prayers of the People:

At the end of each prayer, we say together: God of shameless faith, we thank You for burying our shame.

One: For those who found coming of age frightening and shameful, we ask that godly pride replace shame.