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temiizpalace · 4 months ago

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☆┊YOU DREAM OF ME??

SUMMARY: entering the dream world was such a strange feat.. especially seeing yourself in somebody else’s dream.

CHARACTERS: jade leech-centric

GENRE: fluff, crackfic

WARNINGS: you act cringe because jade leech is a cringy guy with wattpad fantasies + BOOK 7 SPOILERS + canon divergence (some dialogue is not exact cause i lowkey forgot, some moments didn’t actually happen, and i shortened it a lil so i don’t have to write too much)

NOTES: while writing this, it turns out someone else had a similar idea so i was hesitant to upload the writing. however, I’ve decided to anyways. that being said, crediting said individual is still in order since they had the idea first.

please check out @.paralleljoys post here (IF ANY ISSUES PLEASE SEND ME AN ASK, TY!)

reader is g/n, reader is yuu

🐬∘˙

you didn’t expect this. nobody expected this, actually.

jade leech, cunning, observant, quiet, and mysterious. he was one to keep his cards close to his chest and play it safely to ensure the best outcomes. and yet, here we are, in said eels dreams. a look inside of his thoughts, how he truly saw people, how he—

“jade you’re so cool! i love love love love loveeee the way your mind works sooooo much!” a voice, sounding similarly to yours, chimed. “fufu, you flatter me, my pearl..”

your jaw dropped, grims jaw dropped, you can hear idia falling out of his seat from behind the screen, jamil’s eyes had never been opened wider, floyd cringed, silver looked away, ortho could barely compute, and sebek had the most genuine disgust written on his face.

was that you? you thought azul and floyd looked stupid, BUT THAT WAS YOU? jamil slapped a hand over grims mouth, preventing the direbeast from cackling his lungs out at the sight of your pathetic image. “MYAHAHA, HENCHMAN YOU LOOK SO STUPI—“ “keep quiet.” jamil mutters, slightly smirking. you could tell he was also containing his laughter, making your face change in hue.

“eww, no way. i knew jade was all lovey dovey with the prefect but i dont wanna watch it. what a sap.” floyd groans, looking at dream you, real you, then at jade. “i dont wanna watch this either! if you guys are embarrassed how do you think i feel?!” you murmur, hiding your face in shame.

“my pearl, open wide.” jade grins, holding a piece of shrimp in his hands. “oh my, jade you sweetheart!” you giggle, opening your mouth so jade can feed you. idia snickers, holding back a laugh. you can practically see his smug expression in your mind. “he has the fantasies of a trashy middle school fanfiction, what comedy gold.”

silver clears his throat, trying to regain the attention of the group in order to free jade from his dream. while everyone with a logical mind held an equally logical discussion, you, floyd, and grim were too focused on the scene before you. “jade, you and shrimpy should just get married.” dream floyd grins, pushing you two together.

“agreed. you both are a match made in heaven!” dream azul says in between sobs, wiping his tears away with one of his tentacles. “why, what a splendid idea! azul, please make arrangements right away. we shall wed at once, my dear.” jade chuckles, holding you close in his arms. “j-jade!? i don’t know what to say..”

“do you not wish to marry me?” he asks, his thumb tracing your chin. his voice was low, yet soothing at the same time. “it’s not like i don’t want to..” dream you mumbles, avoiding his eyes by looking at the ground with a pout. REAL you, on the other hand, can’t bear the sight of it anymore. neither can floyd. or grim.

“let’s continue to overcome hardships and conquer many mountains together.” jade laughs, pulling you all in by the shoulders. as the dream variants of jades loved ones cheer, floyd swims in and swoops down, attacking his brother and his dumbed down dream him.

“I CANNOT STAND IT ANYMORE!” floyd grunts, scowling at his dear brother, who held an expression of shock. “f-floyd? there’s two of you..?!” he stutters, looking at his dream twin and his actual twin. “they’re mirror images of each other! how can you tell them apart!” azul exclaims, wiping his eyes to get a better look.

“who is this? can i hug you and eat you? hehe.”

“i originally thought you weren’t interested in other people, but you have a limited memory. “i dont eat dance and eat shrimps stuck in between rocks.” floyd scoffs, staring at his dumbfounded doppelgänger. “floyd.. doesn’t eat shrimps.. or dance..?” jade ponders, feeling his mind begin to waver.

“jade! im scared!” dream you screams, curling up in the boys arms. your eyebrow twitches, tired of the humiliation you witnessed thanks to jades horrible imagination. following your impulse, you run out with floyd, despite the shouts of your name.

“PREFECT! GET BACK HERE! WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU TRYING TO ACHIEVE?!” sebek shouts, but his voice falls on deaf ears. he made a point though, what were you doing? it’d be much safer to just stay back and watch this play out, so why the hell are you trying to get involved?! “p-pearl?!” jade gasps, eyes wide in disbelief.

“th-there’s also two of you.? what in the seven is going on here?” he swam back slowly, unraveling the scene before him. two brothers, two lovers (well not officially..), and a whole school of students that seem familiar, but unsure as to where.. you could tell jade was beginning to wake up! it’s only a matter of time..

“jade, don’t be fooled. floyd shouldn’t be that ugly bastard, he should be more innocent and cute. and look at [MC], they love you so much they don’t know what to do with themselves! don’t be tricked by that fraud.” azul sneers, pointing at you and floyd, much to your dismay. just taking a glance at floyd was enough to be able to tell he was this close to breaking every bone in dream azul’s body and frankly you don’t blame him.

“i see.. floyd has been very charming to his relatives and my pearl wouldn’t leave my side so quickly,” jade hesitates, glancing at his two brothers. “i should go. they all really need me.” he smiled politely, swimming towards what once looked like his loved ones, now forming into large piles of dark goo. as jade was nearly consumed by the darkness, floyd swims past quickly. you stood on the eels back, landing a hit on dumb dumb floyd, crybaby azul, and cringe wattpad you.

“I DO NOT SOUND LIKE THAT.” you finally yell, catching nearly everyone’s attention. “it’s no use. we have to help out.” jamil sighs, lifting his magic pen. “let’s go!” silver shouts, rushing into the spot where you and floyd had already began your attack. as the fight rages on, the others serving as a distraction for jade, floyd had continued to land hits on the watered down versions of yourselves with ease before they finally shouted for help.

“it hurts! help us, jade!” dream floyd cries. “rescue us, jade!” azul cries. “oww! protect us, jade!” dream you screams, finally catching his attention. “how dare you! you fake. get behind me, i got this.” jade hisses, attacking floyd directly. you felt your balance falter on floyd’s back, slipping before falling near the vents. “prefect!” ortho shouts, rushing over to catch you til you fell into jamil’s arms safely. “it’s not safe, the vents are crumbling due to the fighting. retreat for now!” he directs, running towards a safer location.

“your carelessness nearly got you killed, prefect.” jamil sighs, looking down at you with a concerned yet tired expression. “sorry, i just couldn’t take it anymore!” you groan, crossing your arms angrily. “you can set me down now, jamil.” you pat his arm, breaking him from his daze. “..right.” he mutters, placing you down gently. they began to discuss different ways to wake up jade, before sebek finally settled on just electrocuting them.

“be careful, sebek.” silver reminds him, patting his shoulder before the boy ran out. “pierce the cloudy sky, lightning! living bolt!”

the tweels stop their fighting, electricity trickling all over their body leaving them temporarily paralyzed and passed out. after a few moments, their eyes fluttered open, being met with millions of other stares. “jade!” azul shouts, pushing floyd at the way with a grunt. “thank goodness you’re alive! i could’ve lost my cute subordinate!” he sniffles, causing jades eyebrow to raise. “..cute subordinate?”

“i’ll cry if jade is gone! don’t go anywhere!” dream floyd sighs with a dopey expression. “jade you idiot! you could’ve gotten seriously hurt and id never forgive you!” dream you sobs, rushing over to hold his hand hastily. “hm. that’s strange. the floyd and azul i know would never say something like that.” jade scoffs, looking at the two with disgust.

“huh?” they gasp, staring at him as if he said something crazy. “was sebek’s lightning so powerful, jade is finally starting to awaken?” silver mumbles, raising a finger to his chin. “awaken.. why am i here in the first place..?” jade groans, recollecting his thoughts slowly. “so.. i am a student at night raven college.. on land? agh.”

“my head feels like it’s going to split!” he winces in pain, holding his head as he shouts. all his memories finally began to come back to him, all the moments he had during the year turning the gears in his mind til he was finally back to his senses. “how could i possibly have forgotten something so important?” he huffs, looking back at the doppelgängers behind him.

“floyd would never act so obedient, he’s much more domineering. azul would give orders to others without putting himself in danger as much as possible.” he pauses for a moment, staring at your fake before shaking his head. “[MC] would have never acted so defenseless. what an embarrassing feat. i was acting quite strange.” jade sighs, turning his back towards the trio.

they had all began to complain to jade, asking why he would believe such fake things. dream you broke into tears, curling in floyds arms with a sob. jade would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little jealous, but it’s not the real you so he’ll hold back. a little. they all clung onto jade, begging him to reconsider his decision before he finally spared them a word.

“can you please not touch me? creepy.” with a quick slash, the floyd and azul clones were reduced to goo. jade looked at the fake you, slightly hesitating at your trembling figure. alas, they were spared no expense and fell back into the darkness, crying his name and dragging out each syllable.

“no mercy..” idia stuttered, chewing on his nail. “he was protecting them with his life, only to end them once he realized they were fake.” jamil states, scratching his chin while replaying the scene back in his head. “scary..” idia murmurs. “finally awake, jade?” floyd punches his brothers arm, earning a chuckle. “yes, thank you.”

they share a laugh before hitting each other suddenly, startling each and every one of you. “floyd, you dare have hurt your own brother? i thought my whole body was going to fall apart. have you no mercy on your own blood? how terrible.” jade wiped away a tear, floyd not buying it for a single second.

“jade leech.” his banter was cut short by the sounds of your voice, your stern tone telling that this will not end well for him. “w-why, [MC]! how might i be of service.?” jade smiles, remaining his composure well. “don’t “how might i be of service” me! you have some serious explanation to do once we’re out of this stupid dream.” you scowl, staring him down with an intimidating glare.

jade, seemed unfazed. he was certainly embarrassed, but who is he to let it show? “oh dear, is it quite wrong for one to dream of their mate while asleep?” he shakes his head, catching you off guard. “mate?” everyone collectively questions. “uhm, yeah. do you guys not notice?” floyd scratches the back of his neck as if it were the most obvious thing.

what the hell is he talking about? mate? what.. when? that’s.. it’s not possible. “what are you on about, leech?” you sneer, causing him to grab your hand with a smile. “would you care for me to show you?” he grins teasingly, pulling you in til you rested on his chest. “hey! why you—“

“enough. you two are more than free to discuss this mishap after malleus is defeated. right now, we’ve got bigger problems to focus on.” jamil frowns, separating you two from each other. “..right. im not done with you yet.” you glare at the eel in front of you, much to his amusement. “i look forward to it.”

despite the topic being held for later, you couldn’t help but let jade’s words and fantasies linger in your mind for a moment longer. the statements he had said, the actions he had performed, all of it made you feel.. special.

“he dreams of me?”

A/N: i got lazy at the end whoops. anyways what if i write a jamil one?? double anyways what if jamil and jade love triangl— *gunshots*

im not used to writing long fics for characters by themselves and i think you can tell

date published: 8/22/24

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sufferu · 2 months ago

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Okay, so. This is actually a rather big spoiler for No Refunds, so imma need all of you to hush up about this one when it comes to the current main fic ;)

Anyway — here’s the first draft of a very essential upcoming scene, for all those who wish to see it.

No Refunds Ficlet: March Away From Omelas

____

The five Royal Selection Camps met inside City Hall. Crusch Karsten, flanked by Ferris Argyle and Wilhelm van Astrea. Felt, attended by Rachins, Gaston, Camberley, and the Sword Saint himself. Anastasia Hoshin, with her personal knight and the Captain and Vice Captains of the Iron Fang. Priscilla Barielle, who had elected to witness the ensuing spectacle alone. And of course — Lady Emilia herself, with Beatrice, Otto, Garfiel, and the Oni twins all standing by her side. With a singular exception, nobody else was allowed within the building: they were alone.

That singular exception stood in the middle of the room, of whom a decision now had to be made.

“…I didn’t do anything wrong,” Natsuki Subaru said uncertainly. Why were they all looking at him like that? He wanted to take a step back, but managed to resist the urge just barely. “Priestella is saved now, isn’t it? And— we’ve taken care of five Archbishops of Sin.”

He was objectively correct, about both of those things. As far as the rest of the world was concerned, the Battle of Priestella had ended with zero casualties thanks to his contributions. There had been structural damage to the buildings of the city, sure, and there had been injuries here and there — bruises, gashes, broken bones — but nothing that had been lethal, and likely nothing that was going to be permanent. And of the five Sin Archbishops that had attempted to siege the city — one was dead, and the other four had been successfully captured, awaiting transport to the capital of Lugunica. Nothing like this had ever been accomplished in recorded history. In every sense of the word, Subaru had pulled off a miracle.

But in order to do it, he had—

“How many times?” Julius croaked. Subaru glanced his way, and froze at the look of devastation on his face. “Subaru — how many times was it?”

“I—” Subaru broke off. There was a long, long silence as everyone waited for him to answer. “…Does it matter?” he finally retorted. “I think the results speak for themselves, don’t they? Everyone’s safe, and everyone’s happy! Isn’t that the only thing that really matters, in the end?”

Otto made an indecipherable noise. Nobody looked at him.

“You didn’t answer us,” Wilhelm growled. The raw anger in his voice made Subaru stiffen. “How many times was it?”

When Subaru didn’t answer, everyone knew it was because he didn’t know.

“What a boorish question,” Priscilla scoffed. She was the only one there who looked relaxed, fanning her face gently as she peered at the lot of them from the side of the room. “Subaru saw that there was danger and rose to the challenge. If he bled for it in the meanwhile, what does it matter?”

“��What does it matter?’” Felt repeated, her quiet voice already glittering with the warning sparks of her growing rage. “Big Bro just — killed himself, again and again, for OUR sakes, and — and ‘What does it matter?’”

“For Subaru, the ultimate sacrifice is a thing that he can make as many times as he wishes, as a means to an end,” Priscilla answered. “He can accomplish great things with his ability. He HAS accomplished great things, even. If I were his liege, I would be rewarding him for his accomplishments, not stifling his potential.”

“‘Stifling his potential’?” Felt repeated, disbelief coloring her voice red. “You’d call him — him DYING, again and again — you’d call it POTENTIAL?”

“Has he not allowed you to witness a miracle, peasant?” Priscilla returned. “Through his efforts, he has brought about a solution that would otherwise never have come to fruition. This is a thing to celebrate, is it not?”

“It is absolutely not!” Mimi cried out. “Mimi didn’t want this! Mimi didn’t want to survive because — because someone did THIS for her sake!”

Felt took a deep breath, clearly trying to maintain her composure. “…Subaru,” she said, directing her words towards the focus of the conversation. “Do you really think that winning the fight today was worth — this?”

Subaru stared back at her like she had grown a second head. “Of COURSE it was,” he scoffed, as if it were the obvious answer. “I’m just one person, and — not even a particularly valuable one at that.” From the corner of the room, Otto stared at him with growing despair. He didn’t even notice. “Sure, it — it sucked a lot, but I did it, and now everyone’s fine! So of course it was worth it.”

Felt swallowed, trying her hardest not to scream. She folded her hands in front of her — a practiced motion, one Reinhard had instilled into her through hours and hours of those stupid etiquette lessons. “And…” she faltered. “And you would do it again, if you felt that it was necessary.”

Subaru visibly flinched at the suggestion, but quickly moved to answer her. “O-Of course I would!” he insisted, his eyes darting around. Nearby, Crusch and Reinhard both stared at something that nobody else could see. “I—I AM still a knight, you know. It’s a knight’s JOB to put others before themselves. And…” He swallowed. “I know I’m not good at it, but if I try hard enough — well. My…circumstances…I mean — I’m in the perfect position to put others before me, right?”

“Because you never have to stop doing it,” Julius realized. “Because even if you die — you don’t have to stop.”

Subaru didn’t realize the surge of devastated nausea that such a realization had inspired in the gut of the Finest of Knights. “Exactly!” he crowed. “That’s exactly right! You see?”

Someone made a horrible strangled sound. Nobody knew who it was, and everyone was too focused on the matter at hand to find out, anyway.

“And if we’re not okay with it?” Felt pressed, trying to ignore the hole that was widening in her gut. “If we don’t want any part of — of an exchange like that?”

“…That’s ridiculous,” Subaru scoffed. “Why would anyone not — want to live? That’s stupid.”

“Why indeed,” Ricardo muttered.

“Maybe it’s not that — that someone doesn’t want to live,” Crusch said, her voice tense. “Maybe it’s that someone doesn’t want their life to be saved through…” She shook her head. “Maybe they consider — other things, to be more important.”

“Like what?” Subaru retorted.

“Honor, maybe,” Crusch said. “Ethics. Dignity. Integrity. Any of the things of which a loss would turn a person into a dog. …You really don’t get it, do you?”

“Valuing the alleviation of momentary suffering over a perfect ending is the way of dogs,” Priscilla replied, her eyes glinting. “If momentary suffering is necessary for a perfect ending, then to undergo it for the sake of fulfilling his duty — that is the sign of a wonderful knight.”

“There are limits,” Felt forced out through gritted teeth. “To what level of ‘momentary suffering’ is acceptable. Not that I’d expect YOU to understand that.”

“Lady Felt—”

“Don’t!” Felt snapped. Reinhard stopped. “Just— don’t. Not now.”

“I’d say it’s a perfectly acceptable level of suffering!” Subaru retorted, raising his voice. “I’m the only one who has to go through it, so I’m the one who gets to decide what’s acceptable, right? That’s how it works!”

“No the FUCK it’s not!” Rachins bellowed, taking a step forward. Reinhard quickly grabbed his wrist, preventing him from marching over to punch Subaru in the face. Rachins didn’t even glance back at him, fixated solely on the object of his rage. “You don’t get it make a choice like THAT when you— when you’re planning something THAT HORRIBLE!” he spat. “Who the fuck would be alright with this?! Just one ultimate sacrifice is hard enough to stomach, but — you can’t even tell us how many times it was! How am I supposed to go forward when I know you— YOU—”

“You might have DIED if I didn’t do anything!” Subaru protested. “If it was you or me— even if I had to choose all of you hundreds of times over, then—”

“How was it your place to make that decision for us?!” Anastasia burst out, uncharacteristically emotional. She hadn’t looked this way even back at the inn. “I didn’t want this!” she cried. “I didn’t consent to this! I never wanted to be complicit in something this awful, and here YOU went and made the choice to — to repeatedly sacrifice yourself for all of us regardless! I didn’t WANT you to do this for me!”

“We weren’t able to do anything,” Ferris managed, white as a sheet. He was gripping his head. “We weren’t able to stop nyew at all. And nyew didn’t stop nyerself, either: the first thing nyew decided to do when the Witch Cult attacked was…” Ferris fixed his gaze on Subaru, glassy with panic and devastation. “So long as nyer a knight, and protecting the country is nyer job— we won’t be able to stop nyew at— at all—”

“Oh like that’s any different than what Reinhard is doing,” Subaru retorted. “What, so him being unstoppable in his role as a Sword Saint is fine, but me using my own ability to act as a knight is crossing a line? How is THAT fair?”

Reinhard flinched violently, taking a step backwards.

“How DARE you make a comparison like that?!” Felt spat, finally snapping and raising her voice to a roar. “HOW DARE YOU?! You wanna know what the difference is, Subaru?! Reinhard being the Sword Saint doesn’t mean we’re all dooming him to fucking KILL HIMSELF for our sakes!”

“I can’t believe you would even SUGGEST such a thing,” Julius snarled, uncharacteristically vicious. “The role of the Sword Saint is a heavy one, yes, but it isn’t in any way the same thing as someone sentencing himself to execution after execution for the rest of —” Could Subaru die a natural death? He didn’t even want to THINK about the concept of an eternity trapped in a fate like this. “— of his natural life! You absolute— how could you even consider—?!”

Reinhard was not allowed to wish for his role as the Sword Saint to be taken away from him. Wishing for for such a thing was as good as poisoning his mind against the kingdom itself. In any case, nobody could ever strip him of his title even if they wanted to: nobody was more suited to the role of the Sword of the Kingdom than Reinhard van Astrea.

But now, he realized with a bolt of absolute clarity— now he was on the outside, looking in. Subaru wasn’t wrong about his curse positioning him in a manner that made him uniquely suited for the role of a knight. But if they allowed him to take that position up once again—

Reinhard thought of himself, and how he was never going to escape his title. He thought of Subaru, who was inches away from thrusting himself into the same position. He thought of an old story about his grandmother and grandfather, and how — just once — a Sword Saint had been set free.

“Subaru—” He tried to say, stepping forward, but Wilhelm held out his arm before anyone else could see what he was doing. Reinhard glanced his way, and saw ice blue eyes glimmering with the conviction of tempered steel.

—Reinhard understood. He stepped back to where he had been a second before.

…He likely wouldn’t have been allowed to be the one to do so anyway. Reinhard van Astrea could not act against the good of the kingdom, no matter who got hurt in the process.

Julius was still speaking. “How do you not understand?!” he shouted, his eyes blazing. “You seem to be thinking of this as— as some sort of— you just don’t get it, do you?! Do you have any idea how—” Horrified. Disgusted. Devastated. Mortified. “—how ANGRY we are with you right now?”

“I mean, I’d probably do it anyway!” Subaru pointed out, folding his arms stubbornly. “Whether I have the title or not, I’m always gonna want to help the people around me, right? You can’t stop me from doing THAT.”

The temperature of the room dropped significantly. Subaru’s eyes widened, his arms springing up to wrap around his chest at the sudden chill. A couple of pairs of eyes flickered to Emilia, who sat motionless in her seat.

“…For nyer own sake,” Ferris hissed, one of those in the room that was utterly unaffected by this cold air. He looked very much like he wanted to murder Subaru on the spot. “I am going to assume that was nyer misguided attempt at cracking a JOKE. But on the off-chance that nyew were being serious, I can assure nyew: we have ways of keeping people alive against their will if nyeed be.” He grinned, his face so sour it looked like it might curdle milk. “Nyew’ve seen me deal with suicidal Witch Cult prisonyers, Subaru-kyun. Do nyew think I’m above treating nyew the way I treated them?”

Subaru took a step back.

“Ignoring the absolutely disgusting moral implications of what you just suggested you planned on doing to yourself for the rest of your life,” Julius said coldly, eyes fixed on Subaru’s face. “You do realize that you just threatened ALL OF US, by saying that you would use time travel to bend reality to your heart’s content regardless of how we feel about it — do you not?” Subaru flinched. “I assumed you were better than that.” Julius rolled his shoulder. “But Ferris is right: if you are NOT better than that, then we can find a way to make sure we don’t have to worry about you deciding to reverse time behind everyone’s backs.”

“The lot of you are being ridiculous,” Priscilla scoffed. “Your wonderful knight saved an entire city almost single-handedly, and you wish to remove him from his post? Sacrifice is a part of life. If you can’t stomach the sacrifice necessary to feed the fire of life, then you are unfit to stand in the light of mine gaze.”

“There’s a fucking limit to the kind of sacrifices a reasonable person should accept!” Felt shot back. “Not like you’d understand a thing about being reasonable, you— you MONSTER. How can you talk about someone ripping himself apart so flippantly?!”

“If ripping oneself apart is what a person wishes to do, then I shall not stand in their way.” She smiled. “Just as there is beauty in war, there is beauty in sacrifice — or in this case, the dance of eternal sacrifice, in service of the greater good.” The Sun Princess frowned down at Felt, who was staring at her with a look of horrified disbelief. “It is not Subaru’s fault if a peasant like you cannot handle how he chooses to live and die,” she said coldly. “If he has made his choice, then he has made it so.”

“That’s vile…” Felt choked out. “Even for you, that is VILE.”

“Personal autonomy has limits,” Crusch said coldly. “If a man’s personal autonomy involves harming others, then he must be stopped. Likewise, if it involves him ripping himself apart, then we have a moral duty to stand in his way. — Especially if he has the gall to declare that it is for OUR sakes.”

“As a knight of Lugunica, I understand the nobility of sacrifice,” Julius said. He did not flinch as Priscilla turned to watch him, nor did he look her in the eye. “But as a knight, I understand the weight of it, as well. Giving up one’s life for a cause is one of the heaviest sacrifices one can make — and it is exactly because of that, that I cannot stand for someone who plans to make that sacrifice so many times in repetition.” He turned to face Subaru, alone in the center of the room, and took a deep breath. “In saving Priestella from the Witch Cult, Natsuki Subaru has fulfilled his duty as a knight once and for all,” Julius declared. “He has made the ultimate sacrifice, and he has done so — many, many times over. Allowing him to continue to do so for the sake of this country would damage the worth of the entire nation, and I refuse to stand for it. That’s all I have to say.”

“I stand by my knight,” Anastasia announced, stepping forward. “We are not animals, and I refuse to live as an animal by depending on someone to harm themselves for me in perpetuity — and I refuse to allow my country to do such a thing, either. And I am no longer willing to wait two years for a decision to be made: Natsuki Subaru will be removed from his role today, or the Anastasia Camp will consider him and all of his allies its enemy.”

“The Iron Fang stands with its employer,” Ricardo added, his voice like steel. “But even without its relationship with the Anastasia Camp, I would never stand for something this disgusting, nor would any organization that I lead. And—” He shook his head, looking very much like he wanted to strangle someone. “And I’d HOPE that if — those who I care about — were thrown into a situation — like THIS — that the people they meet would have the basic decency to refuse the same.”

“Mimi hates this,” the eldest of the Pearlbaton triplets forced out, uncharacteristically enraged. She was scratching at the top of her head, yanking at her orange hair. “Mimi hates everything about this. How dare— how DARE you—”

“We want nothing to do with an arrangement like this,” Hetaro confirmed. “I don’t want to be saved by someone doing — this. It’s sick. I’d rather just die.”

“I don’t want to die,” Tivey muttered. “But if I were to live a life dependent on something like — THIS, I’d be no better than vermin. And I don’t want anyone forcing me into that role, either. We stand with our Lady.”

“The three of us might be vermin,” Rachins growled. “But even WE are above depending on an eternal living corpse for our lives and livelihoods. You can fuck right off with that, Subaru.”

“I wouldn’t call us vermin—” Camberley objected.

“All the more reason, then,” Gaston said firmly. “None of us are gonna accept something this — gross. Ever.”

“I agree with those idiots,” Felt snarled, stepping forward defiantly. “I don’t give a rat’s ass about ‘the greater good’: this is vile, and I would be utter scum if I rolled over and let things continue like this. Thank you for your service, Big Bro: now fuck ALL THE WAY off with this Unsung Hero bullshit.”

“My role as the Sword Saint is a duty granted to me by Od Laguna,” Reinhard managed, both outraged and devastated beyond words by the comparison. “It is a burden that I would not wish upon anyone, but the sole grace of my role is that I have been granted it specifically because my capabilities allow me to fulfill it without — undue sacrifice. For you to try and take something like it upon yourself through the use of a curse this vile…” He shook his head. “I will stand with whatever Lady Felt decides,” the Sword Saint said. “As she is against — everything about this — so am I.”

“Disgusting,” Ferris hissed, bristling. There were tears in his eyes. He shook his head, muttering the same word over and over again. “Disgusting, disgusting, disgusting — Nyatsuki Subaru, I hate nyew so, so much—!”

“To keep Natsuki Subaru as a knight after this would be considered the height of indecency,” Crusch declared. “That is where I stand, as do my Camp and my Estate. Lady Emilia, I must insist that you remove him from his position NOW, or I will render our alliance null and void. That is my ultimatum.”

“This— This really feels like an overreaction!” Subaru stammered, backing away from the sea of anger and devastation. “Didn’t everything work out alright, in the end? Wasn’t it worth it? One life in exchange for all of Priestella—”

“It wasn’t just one life, Subaru,” Ricardo spat. “It was one person, over and over again, who decided all on his own that we were the kinds of ANIMALS that would be absolutely fine resting our lives on — on a fucking monstrosity like that!“

“We didn’t even get a CHOICE in the matter,” Ferris cried. “Nyone of us did. “Nyew just went ahead and decided for nyerself that we’d all prefer this — this utter BULLSHIT.“

“Do you not get what an embarrassment this is?” Julius snapped. “For someone to have stepped in and decided on their own that they’re going to take all the suffering of — of the Royal Selection Camps, of the White Scales of Priestella, of EVERYONE who might have otherwise decided to fight back on their own accord — for them to have stolen that choice away and forced everyone else to accept not just one singular sacrifice, but a string of sacrifices so long that you haven’t even been able to tell us how many deaths make it up! It’s a humiliation of the highest order, because you just forced ALL OF US to be complacent in one of the most monstrous, inhuman scenarios I can imagine.“

“Fuck nyew,” Ferris breathed, looking like he was on the verge of passing out. “Fuck nyew, Subaru. Fuck nyew, fuck nyew, fuck nyew—”

“I really don’t think—!”

“How would you have felt,” Felt interrupted. “If Big Sis had done all of this on your behalf?” Subaru froze. She grinned at him, all teeth and no joy behind her smile. “You’d fucking hate it, right?” she asked cheerfully. “You’d scream, and you’d probably cry. You might even throw up, you’d feel so awful. And if she turned to you and said ‘But I gave you a miracle, aren’t you proud of me?’ I’ll bet you’d want to scream at her for it, too.” She leaned forward. “How DARE you do that to us.” Felt hissed. “How fucking dare you.”

“And to think!” Anastasia laughed. It was a venomous, bitter sound that made Subaru want to recoil. “To think, I actually was starting to believe the others’ insistence that you could be trusted to man your post responsibly!” She stared at him, eyes hard. “I was right about this whole situation from the start. Keeping you as a knight was a ridiculous notion, because — THIS — was always going to be the outcome, one way or another.”

Subaru was speechless. Slowly, with jerky movements, he twisted around to the one camp that had yet to make its final assertion.

“G-Guys…?” he managed.

“Cap—” Garfiel hesitated, and then shook his head. Subaru visibly wilted. “Natsuki Subaru can’t be a knight anymore,” he declared. “This is horrible. I didn’t want this. I never wanted anything like this. If I let him do this for — for MY sake, how could I ever look myself in the mirror again? …And I don’t think he’s ever gonna stop unless we force him away from the edge.”

“This is the absolute worst thing you could have done to me, Subaru,” Ram snapped. “I don’t know how you don’t understand that. I don’t WANT to persist via your acts of self-harm: I’m perfectly happy to live to the best of my ability and accept my death when my time has come to an end. A life of dignity is one that I desire most of all. —And here you are, planning to force me to rely on your trail of self-destruction for the rest of my natural life? That’s a vulgarity beyond words.”

“I really thought you had learned,” Otto muttered. His face was buried in his hands. “I really, really thought you had learned, Subaru.”

Despair slowly dawned across the face of the self-proclaimed knight.

“The old me might have allowed for this,” Rem admitted. Her voice was quiet and broken. “I am not that woman anymore. I won’t let you do this to yourself.”

“Betty doesn’t want her contractor to become a living corpse, I suppose,” Beatrice said quietly. “Betty wants you to be happy, but that also means that she doesn’t want you to destroy yourself. You can hate me for this if you want, Subaru. But I can’t let you — I can’t let you do this.”

Subaru stared at all of them, his upper lip wobbling, and then his eyes flitted to the last person in the room, the one who had not said a single thing since they had entered the building.

Emilia could not bring herself to voice the words, but her silence spoke a thousand in its stead. Subaru made a horrible croaking noise, wide-eyed and devastated.

Wilhelm had to force himself to speak, but when he did, his voice came out loud and clear and true.

“Natsuki Subaru.”

Subaru could no longer be a knight. For him to continue being a knight would be for him to continue to sacrifice himself for the sakes of those around him, over and over again, without regard for whether they wanted him to do so or not. For him to remain a knight would be for the kingdom to approve this cycle of endless self-destruction, so that it could profit off of his pain until the day it finally sucked him dry. —And this could no longer be a decision that waited a year, a month, a day, but rather a move that had to be made as quickly and decisively as possible.

Lady Emilia had already realized what Wilhelm was about to do. Her eyes were glassy and dull, but she bowed her head in assent when he briefly caught her gaze. Do what you must.

For his own good, Subaru could no longer be a knight. However, Emilia firing him after just a year of service would leave a black mark on his record that could last until the end of his life. And with him having saved the Watergate City nearly single-handedly, for him to willingly abandon his duty now would paint him as a fickle, untrustworthy coward for the rest of his life. Titles brought with them expectations and responsibilities, and great deeds even more so. Subaru had somehow entangled him in a web of both that threatened to trap him as the nation’s self-replenishing sacrifice for — in a worst-case scenario, perhaps for the rest of eternity.

“W-Wilhelm?” Subaru whimpered, his voice high-pitched and uncertain.

But there was a way to retire him that would not impact his reputation, or hamper him from pursuing any other future career path he may choose, or even leave him with the majority of the blame. It was the same way that, many years ago, a young man on a mission had set free the woman who would become his wife.

Subaru would hate him for this until the old man’s dying day, and perhaps even beyond that. But Wilhelm loved him, and that meant he valued the quality of the boy’s life more than he ever could his personal reputation in his eyes.

Priscilla realized what the Sword Demon was about to do moments before he opened his mouth again. She sighed, snapping her ruby red fan shut. The sound echoed through the room like a thunderclap.

“Natsuki Subaru,” Wilhelm Van Astrea declared. “Due to finding you unworthy to serve our nation as a knight of the Kingdom, I challenge you to a duel.”

Wilhelm had challenged Subaru to a duel over his position as a knight of the Kingdom. Subaru’s liege, Lady Emilia, had consented to such terms. If Subaru were to win, he would be allowed to remain where he was. If Wilhelm were to win, then Subaru would be forced to retire from his post — and in the eyes of the public, all the blame for his removal would rest squarely on Wilhelm’s shoulders.

Subaru, Wilhelm, and everyone witnessing the event knew what the outcome was going to be.

“What are you doing?!” an old lady cried from the stands. “What are you DOING?! He saved us — he saved all of our lives! Stop, STOP—!!”

“Natsuki Subaru-dono is a hero!” shouted a young man, hands clenching the rails. “Why are you doing this?! What did he do wrong?! He didn’t do ANYTHING, just LET HIM—!!”

“Wilhelm—” Subaru tried to plead, one last time.

Wilhelm met his gaze with one fierce enough to burn. “This is for your own good.”

Subaru swallowed, and raised his whip.

It only took three hits. The first smacked the handle of Subaru’s weapon with the flat of the blade, knocking it out of his hands and into the air, where it spiraled in an arc. The second whacked Subaru on the top of his head, stunning him hard enough to make him lose his balance. The third took advantage of this wrong-footedness by slamming into his chest, knocking him down on his back. Then the weight of the man’s knee settled against his chest, pinning him to the ground, with the edge of the blade grazing against his throat. And that was that.

“The winner,” Ferris announced, his voice muffled in Subaru’s ears. “Is Wilhelm van Astrea.”

It had not even lasted a full ten seconds. Those who watched would later describe it as Wilhelm scruffing him, much like one would a misbehaving puppy. Even the way he had pinned him to the ground had been careful, less like an actual fight and more like a sparring session between parent and child.

It was a duel far gentler and kinder than his previous with Julius. But the results were far graver in his eyes, for he had been successfully stripped of his title as a knight and reduced to simply being Natsuki Subaru.

#perhaps I’ll change a bit of it #perhaps I won’t #we’ll see what happens #now that’s what I call a dogshow #my ficlets

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honestlyvan · 1 year ago

Text

ALAN WAKE 2 ANNOTATED: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT WEIRD FINNISH GUY SAYING

(This post is also available on Dreamwidth)

Preamble: What is this?

There’s a lot of Finnish shit in Alan Wake 2. I speak Finnish. I’m really annoyed about how wrong about some of the things that are in Finnish in the game people actually are. @drdarling is an Ahti fan. We’re mutually annoyed about how wrong about Ahti people are, because in general the trend is people thinking Ahti is spooky and mysterious because they don’t know what he’s saying, rather than thinking he’s spooky and mysterious because of the things he’s saying.

So Autumn went through the entire game, transcribing Ahti’s dialogue, and I went through the transcript, translating everything untranslated in the game, and providing cultural context for the rest of it (with some saves from @saikkunen, @rhpurasu-blog, and my mum), because truly this dude is not nearly as cryptic as people make him out to be, and is actually twice as weird as people think he is as a result.

Disclaimer: Finnish is very regional, and even with people from all over pitching in, some of the shit Ahti says might still be idioms we’re not familiar with. If you’re a Finnish person reading this going “HOW DID YOU NOT KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS”, trust me that I had many moments like that while putting this together, and please leave a comment so I can add your insight :D

This post is going to go through all of Initiation, followed by all of Return. There's unmarked spoilers past the cut -- enter at your own risk.

INITIATION 1: LATE NIGHT

First meeting with Ahti as Alan:

Ah, (no niin) there you are, Tom. Not so much evil that not a bit of good as well. Not one without the other. Good to see you.

“No niin” -- utterance, roughly the same as “alright” or “now then”. “No” is a common filler word like “well.”

“Not so much evil that not a bit of good as well.” – “ei niin paljon pahaa ettei jotain hyvääkin”, a common Finnish turn of phrase. Broadly has the same meaning as “silver linings.”

Alan asks Ahti to point him towards the exit:

(No totta helvetissä.) Of course, Tom. The work will instruct its maker. I was gonna get something from the basement for you, but you can get it yourself now. The more cooks the worse the soup.

“No totta helvetissä” – “(in Hell), of course”, a variation on the phrase “totta kai”, meaning “certainly” or “of course”

“The work will instructs its maker” – “työ tekijäänsä opettaa”, common proverb. “You learn things by doing them.”

“The more cooks the worse the soup” – “mitä useampi kokki, sitä huonompi soppa”, common proverb, same as “too many cooks spoils the broth”

Alan asks Ahti what Ahti wants him to get from the basement and clarifies that his name is Alan, not Tom:

(No joo, mutta katopa kun) a man’s a man but a man with a tool makes two, Tom. (Eikö niin?) And a man with a tool can build his own exit. It’s in a shoebox in the basement where you left it. Safe as in the Lord’s purse. Here’s the key.

“No joo, mutta katopa kun” – “see, here’s the thing (with that) is”

“a man’s a man but a man with a tool makes two” – this may be an obscure saying, my whole gaggle of Finnish friends were equally stumped by it. Entirely possible it’s just those little shits from Espoo fucking with us, entirely possible that it’s a variation on a saying that we’re just not picking up on.

“Eikö niin?” – “isn’t it so?”/”Right?” a filler phrase. (It is very common for people to say this right after saying something that makes no fucking sense.)

“Safe as in the Lord’s purse.” – idiomatic, comes from the Bible (1 Samuel 25:29)

Alan asks Ahti if they have met before:

You remember Ahti. The janitor. You can’t be lost if you don’t worry about where you are headed. So don’t worry Tom, the sun will shine even into a heap of twigs. Just remember to turn on the lights. It won’t take long when you get to work.

“You remember Ahti. The janitor.” – the intonation of this line implies to me that in Finnish he’d be using emphatic -han/-hän for it

“You can’t be lost if you don’t worry about where you are headed.” – may be an obscure saying, none of us recognised it.

“the sun will shine even into a heap of twigs” – “paistaa se päivä risukasaankin”, everyone has their little successes, “every dog has its day”

“It won’t take long when you get to work” – “ei mene kauaa kunhan pääsee alkuun”, “as long as you get started it won’t take long (for the matter to resolve)”

Alan asks Ahti if he knows a way to escape The Dark Place:

He who moans about his troubles, is the prisoner of his troubles. It’s not easy to get out. But don’t you worry, Tom, the home is still there, where the heart is. I often think about it when I mop the floor and look into the puddle. Water is the memory of the world. Water finds its way.

“He who moans about his troubles, is the prisoner of his troubles.“ – “Joka murheistaan valittaa, on murheidensa vanki”, common proverb. Finnish people love telling other people to stop complaining.

INITIATION 4: WE SING

After the musical sequence, when you walk past Ahti in the studio:

My Swedish brothers, (perkele). (Ai että nyt on kyllä joo). (Lattoi pojat jenkkakoneet soimaan, saatana).

“Perkele” – “(by) the Devil”, one of the most common Finnish swear words.

“Ai että nyt on kyllä joo” – Untranslatable, can be approximated as “now we’re talking”, “that’s more like it”, or “a hell of a thing”. I love this phrase because it means fuck-all even in Finnish, and conveys a sense of deep appreciation regardless.

“Lattoi pojat jenkkakoneet soimaan, saatana” – literally “Those boys really made the jenkka machine ring, (by) Satan.” “Jenkkakone” refers to the band, playing a song for people to dance “jenkka”, a fast-paced folk dance to. (Addition from @sluiba: jenkkakone is a colloquial term for a jukebox, nowadays more commonly used to refer to audio equipment more broadly e.g. speakers; so he's basically saying, "those boys really turned it up to eleven".)

INITIATION 7: MASKS

When Alan runs into the janitor’s closet:

Hurry, Tom! Here is the light at the end of the tunnel. (Jumalauta), that held you close, Tom. (Ei muuta kun) onwards, said the granny in the snow. When the panic is biggest, the help is also near.

“Jumalauta” – “god help us/you”, a common swear word

“that held you close” – “otti läheltä”, meaning about the same as “a close call”. A more literal translation would be “that took close”.

“Ei muuta kun” – “nothing else to do about it, but”

“onwards, said the granny in the snow.” – “eteenpäin, sanoi mummo lumessa”, a common turn of phrase, an motivational expression of perseverance and sisu

“When the panic is biggest, the help is also near” – “kun hätä on suurin, on apukin lähellä”, a common turn of phrase, broadly means the same thing as “there is light at the end of the tunnel”, can be thought of as a more optimistic companion to “things will get worse before they get better”

(I like this block of dialogue a lot because it demonstrates that a lot of Ahti’s Finnish is just filler words and a tonal component to what he is actually saying.)

Alan mentions that Door didn’t seem happy to see him this time:

Fearing the master is the root of wisdom. But don’t let the game get you down. He is playing his role. Maybe put him in your films, Tom, like you have put me. (Perkele! Sehän olisikin).

“Fearing the master is the root of wisdom.” – “herran pelko on viisauden alku”, the fear of the lord (or rather, The Lord) is the beginning of wisdom. It’s an interesting choice to omit the reference to the Christian god, because it’s preserved in other phrases.

“Perkele! Sehän olisikin” – “(by) the Devil! Wouldn’t that be something.”

Alan asks what films Ahti is talking about:

I’m a fan of your masterworks. There is “Tom the Poet”, my favorite. And “Yötön Yö” is the most famous one, of course. And is it true what I hear, that it’s coming back to cinemas soon? Is there a bottom to this rumor?

“Is there a bottom to this rumor?” – “olla pohjaa”, to have a bottom, means “to have a factual basis”.

Alan says he needs to get back to his apartment, asks if Ahti can help:

Well-planned is half-done. You asked me to make sure you won’t forget the… (mikä se valokuva oli) light pictures, the photos that your artist wife took. They are waiting in the shoebox in the basement. What you leave behind, you find in front of you.

“Well-planned is half-done” – “hyvin suunniteltu on puoliksi tehty”, a common turn of phrase. What it says on the tin.

“mikä se valokuva oli” – “what was the word for ‘valokuva’ again”, a relatable bilingual moment. The Finnish word for photograph is literally just a compound word that directly translates to “light picture”.

“What you leave behind, you find in front of you.” – “minkä taakseen jättää, sen edestään löytää”, what goes around comes around.

He also has incidental dialogue, if you hang around after the conversation

I am looking forward to seeing “Yötön Yö” in the cinema, but first I work. And the work won’t end even when you do it (perkele). (No ei siinä), one potato at a time. Just remember, Tom - the brave will eat the pea soup.

“No ei siinä” – “well, nothing else to it”

“the work won’t end even when you do it” – “ei työ tekemällä lopu”, common proverb, warning against rushing and working too hard (because you won’t run out of work through hard work)

“one potato at a time” – “yksi peruna kerrallaan”. This one is so funny to me because he could have just said “one thing at a time”, since that phrase translates literally, and instead he says this just so sound slightly more Finnish.

“the brave will eat the pea soup” – “rohkea rokan syö”, a common proverb, used the same way as “fortune favours the bold”

RETURN 5: OLD GODS

At Valhalla Nursing Home, after Rose tells Ahti that he doesn’t need to clean, this is his home, and threatens to take his mop away even though she knows he would just find it again:

(Kyllä, kyllä mutta) once after being told no. Why rest, when you are born to work. (Eikö niin?)

“Kyllä, kyllä mutta” – “yeah, yeah, but”, exactly as “yeah yeah whatever” as you’d think it is.

“once after being told no.” – “kerta kiellon päälle”, a common idiom, to do something one last time before stopping for good. “One for the road”

“Why rest, when you are born to work” – possibly an obscure saying, the version I grew up with is “why rest when you are born to work hard (like a farmhand)”.

Rose tells Ahti to go pick a song from the jukebox, as a treat:

Yes box, holiday. Just thinking about it makes my dance foot waggle. (Kyllä näin on).

“Yes box, holiday” – This is a reference to Pirkka-Pekka Petelius, a Finnish sketch comedian from the Eighties. “Jees” is a loanword from the English “yes”, meaning “good, decent, alright”. The original append was far more vulgar, translating more properly to “yes box, dick face”

“makes my dance foot waggle” – “tanssijalka vipattamaan”, a common turn of phrase, means “makes you want to dance/makes you start dancing” depending on the context.

“Kyllä näin on.” – “That’s the way it is”, common filler phrase.

Saga introduces herself:

(No eipä siinä). Name won’t make the man worse, even a Swedish name. I’m Ahti.

“No eipä siinä” – filler phrase, same as “No ei siinä”

“Name won’t make the man worse” – “ei nimi miestä pahenna”, a common proverb, similar in meaning as “don’t judge a book by its cover”

Saga asks if there’s anything good on the jukebox:

We try to do good, but only prime comes out. Music from my Swedish brothers, Old Gods of Asgard. My pals, the (perkeleen) vikings, (perkele).

“We try to do good, but only prime comes out.” – “Hyvää koitetaan tehä mut priimaa tuloo”. This is a very specifically Bothnian turn of phrase, he’s just bragging about the Old Gods making good music.

“(perkeleen) vikings” – “Perkele” being used as an adjective for emphasis.

Saga asks where to find the Andersons:

You can never know where. Only a seaman can know that, but even the seaman can’t know everything.

“Only a seaman can know that” – this is also an honest to god pop culture reference, to a song called “Vain merimies voi tietää” (“Only the sailor knows”) by Tapio Rautavaara.

Saga asks if Ahti was in the band:

(Minäkö?) No no. (Perkele, saatana, en ollu en). Not so much sweet that it fills the whole stomach. But we have shared a stage or two.

“Minäkö? Perkele, saatana, en ollu en.” – “Me? (Perkele, saatana), absolutely not.” “Me” in the interrogative has a slightly dismissive/diminutive vibe in Finnish.

“Not so much sweet that it fills the whole stomach.” – “ei makiaa mahan täydeltä”, a classic turn of phrase about not overindulging.

Ahti’s incidental dialogue, hanging out by the jukebox as Saga:

Rain is coming down like from the ass of Esteri. (Vaikka vettähän ne kyllä lupasikin, että…)

“Rain is coming down like from the ass of Esteri” – “vettä tulee kuin Esterin perseestä”, same as “raining cats and dogs”

“Vaikka vettähän ne kyllä lupasikin, että…” – “Although (they, the weather forecast) did promise it would rain, so…”

Rushing is not good for you and hurry is not an honor. (Lietkö olet tämmöistä kuullut.)

“Rushing is not good for you and hurry is not an honor” – “ei ole hoppu hyväksi eikä kiire kunniaksi”, a very common idiom. What it says on the tin.

“Lietkö olet tämmöistä kuullut” – “I wonder if you’ve heard (of) such a thing”, he’s just making fun of Saga for being “hasty.”

(Joo näinhän se menee, että…) the lazy man gets sweaty when he eats and gets chilly when he works. (Se oli kyllä hyvin sanottu.) The song revives the soul.

“Joo näinhän se menee, että” – a filler phrase, similar meaning as saying “as they say”.

“the lazy man gets sweaty when he eats and gets chilly when he works” – “hiki laiskan syödessä, vilu työtä tehdessä”, a common proverb excoriating people for laziness.

“Se oli kyllä hyvin sanottu” – “That was well said”. This whole exchange comes across as Ahti trying to impart some words of wisdom to Saga.

After the power goes out, Ahti has dialogue upstairs:

No use crying in the dark place. What has been, has gone. But trouble doesn’t look like this! You can go to the basement and check the generator. But look out - you can never know in which tree the devil sits.

“No use crying in the dark place.” – This is most likely a deliberate play on words from Ahti. The relevant Finnish proverb is “ei auta itku markkinoilla” (there’s no use crying at the marketplace) which means it’s pointless to waste time feeling sorry for yourself.

“What has been, has gone.” – “ollutta ja mennyttä”, usually this phrase is used the same way as “water under the bridge”

“But trouble doesn’t look like this!” – “ei hätä ole tämän näköinen”, common turn of phrase communicating that the situation is not as bad as it seems.

“you can never know in which tree the devil sits.” – “ei sitä koskaan tiedä missä puussa piru istuu”, common proverb. The word used for devil, “piru”, refers to a folk devil or an evil spirit rather than a capital-letter Devil the way “Saatana” and “Perkele” do.

Ahti jumpscare at the Spiral door:

Getting in is forbidden, for your own safety. Time is long for those who wait. But in the end, stand the thanks.

“Time is long for those who wait” – “odottavan aika on pitkä”, common turn of phrase. Same meaning as “time is slow for those who wait”.

“in the end, stand the thanks.” – “lopussa kiitos seisoo”, common turn of phrase. Similar meaning as “good things come to those who wait.” The word for “thanks” can also be used to mean “reward”.

Saga asks Ahti is he knows anything about the Cult of the Tree:

Yes, yes! He who reaches for a spruce tree will stumble into a juniper. Blum was one of them. He has kicked empty. I wouldn’t want to be in his shoes. But I like his shoes.

“He who reaches for a spruce tree will stumble into a juniper.” – “joka kuuseen kurkottaa se katajaan kapsahtaa”, a common proverb about (edited by suggestion from Sluiba again) the dangers of excessive ambition and greed.

“He has kicked empty.” – “potkaissut tyhjää”, common idiom, "kicked the bucket"

Saga asks Ahti how he knows Blum was in the Cult:

A fox never runs out of tricks. Tease a crazy man and he will show his ways. Blum liked to talk.

“A fox never runs out of tricks “ – “ei ketulta keinot lopu”, proverb. Foxes are traditionally tricksters in Finnish folklore.

“Tease a crazy man and he will show his ways “ – “härnää hullua, saat tapansa tietää”, proverb. In essence, “fuck around and find out.”

Saga asks Ahti if he knows where Anger’s Remorse is, after finding the empty record sleeve:

The matter is not my business, (mutta niin, sanotaanko vaikka, että) but she who steals a needle, steals a nail. Wonders of the modern world - music captured on vinyl, on tape. What will they come up with next? (Mitähän ne vielä keksii) I’m a man of the old union.

“mutta niin, sanotaanko vaikka, että” – “but, yeah, let’s just say”

“but she who steals a needle, steals a nail.” – “Joka varastaa neulan, varastaa naulan”, an old proverb. I’d like to note that Finnish does not have gendered pronouns, so Ahti is deliberately giving a hint here. (Addition from @sluiba: "[the proverb] suggests that someone unscrupulous enough to steal small things will likely also steal something bigger.")

“Mitähän ne vielä keksii” – “what (else) are they going to come up with”

“I’m a man of the old union.” – “Vanhan liiton mies”, a biblical reference to the covenant in the Old Testament. He’s basically calling himself older than Christ. The phrase itself is used to mean "old-fashioned" in a positive sense.

Weird idle dialogue in Ahti’s room after this:

There are pieces of george on the floor everywhere. The black stuff. Shitty thing. Very bad. I need to clean it all away. (Perkele, kun sotketaan joka paikka)!

“pieces of george” – very sneaky, he’s saying it look like someone threw up (yrjötä, the name “Yrjö” being a Finnish form of George) on the floor.

“Perkele, kun sotketaan joka paikka” – “(Perkele), what a mess they’ve made of everything!”

(Kulkaapa nyt, mikä…) (Mitäs, mikä paikka tämä on?) (Voi helvetti soikoon). Where am I? (Tämä ei ole minun koti). This is not my home. (Minä haluan…) I want to go home now. What is this place? (Ei saatana. Ei saatana!) How did I get here? I’m lost… lost at sea. No lighthouse anywhere, and a storm is coming. (Voi jumalauta).

“Kulkaapa nyt, mikä… Mitäs, mikä paikka tämä on?” – “listen here, what… Where, what is this place?”

“Voi helvetti soikoon” – cursing, literally translates to “oh, how Hell rings (like a bell)”

“Tämä ei ole minun koti. Minä haluan…” – “This is not my home. I want…”

RETURN 8: DEERFEST

Alan goes to the Spiral Door in the Dark Place and sees Ahti there:

We loop around, and come together, Tom. I have put everything ready for the visitors. I’ll come to wash the floor of your room next. All you need is water and Vileda. Water is the oldest balm. Water finds its way. What water brings, it takes away. It can be clean or dirty, it can give life or drown it.

“We loop around, and come together” – “ympäri käydään, yhteen tullaan”, a common turn of phrase. “What goes around comes around.”

“All you need is water and Vileda.” – Vileda is a popular cleaning supplies brand. He’s quoting an advertisement.

“Water is the oldest balm.” – “vesi vanhin voitehista”, from Kalevala. What it says on the tin.

Alan asks if Ahti can help him find his way one last time:

Now there’s a devil in the fish trap. Don’t be spooked by it so that shit won’t start beating your underpants. Okay, I’ll get the door open for you, Tom. There you go. The matter is a steak. Now comes the end of the rhyme.”

“there’s a devil in the fish trap” – “olla piru merrassa”, an idiom. It means that there’s unfortunate consequences for something you did, similar to “a devil to pay”

“Don’t be spooked by it so that shit won’t start beating your underpants” – “älä säiky ettei lyö paskat housuihin”, would be more properly translated as “so that shit doesn’t drop hard into your pants”. Means the same thing as it does in English.

“The matter is a steak.” – “asia on pihvi”, idiom meaning that something has been exhaustively dealt with, the way you make steak out of a cow.

“Now comes the end of the rhyme” – “tuli lorun loppu”, idiom with a similar meaning and implication as “end of the line”, the expected end of the current circumstances.

And that’s a wrap! If there’s interest, and if I can get an assist from Autumn again, I might go back to Control and do the same thing for Ahti there. The point is to do justice to our collective weird uncle from the Remedy Connected Universe. Hope you had fun and learned something new :D

#Alan Wake 2 #Remedy Entertainment #Ahti the janitor #AW2 spoilers #Alan Wake (Remedy)

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rad-batson · 1 year ago

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Damian Wayne: Figure Skater

or: Damian Wayne Fluff Because Damian Wayne Deserves Joy and Happiness <3

Damian Wayne prides himself on being good at everything he does. He never half-asses anything.

Damian has tried tons of different skills before. He’s mastered dozens of martial arts, become fluent in over thirty languages, earned several PhDs, and he’s not even a teenager yet. Why? He needs to be the best or it’s not good enough.

But there are only so many skills that give him the same joy as when he started. Studio art is his favorite and has always been a constant for him, but he’s yet to find something else. Something that truly invigorates him.

At 12, Damian watches the Winter Olympics with Dick. It’s his first ever time viewing the Olympics, and he doesn’t really know what he was expecting, but Damian is…kind of underwhelmed.

Everyone talked about how the Olympics are supposed to be this grandiose display of the world’s talents, but most of it’s pretty boring.

Curling is boring. Alpine is slow and monotonous. Bobsledding is repetitive, and sled dog racing seems unethical.

But then figure skating comes on. And Damian is captivated.

Without even realizing, he moved right in front of the television and watched an hour of figure skating uninterrupted. Dick notices and smiles.

“Aren’t they cool?” Dick asks. Damian, with his eyes still glued to the screen, nods. “Wanna go to the local rink with me and try it out? It’s even more fun than it looks.”

That pulls Damian out of his trance, and he closes himself off. “No. I don’t need to.”

He just thought it was cool, okay? And he totally doesn’t want to try it himself. And he totally isn’t worried that he won’t be good at it and fall like an idiot in front of his older brother if he does.

It’s just that…it’s so cool!!

Damian knows agility, okay? He can do flips and tricks with ease, and he knows how to do it with both grace and poise. But these people? They can do it on ice! With blades on their feet!!

OF COURSE DAMIAN WANTS TO DO COOL TRICKS WITH SHARP BLADES STRAPPED TO HIS FEET

Admittedly, he goes through a two-month-long period of pretending he isn’t dying to try it. He almost completely forgets. Then, by complete coincidence, Cass and Duke invite him to an indoor skating rink, and he caves. Maybe it’s not that hard.

Spoiler: Figure Skating is Hard

Within five seconds, he falls flat on his face. How do people do this? Cass and Duke say it’s normal, but he still refuses to leave the wall the whole time out of shame.

Once they’re home, however, Damian realizes how stupid that was. He’s Damian Wayne Al Ghul. He can’t just give up! What would the rest of his family think?! What if they go back one day, and he just falls flat on his face again? There’s no excuse the second time, and he doesn’t want the others to think he can’t do it.

So that night, he sneaks back into the rink after hours and tries again. And again. And again. And again.

On the fifth try, he is able to make it all the way around the rink. He realizes that he’s distributing his weight wrong. (Stupid mistake, of course. He’s essentially balancing on knives.) That makes it a lot easier, but he’s still flapping his arms around like a bird.

He spends two more hours improving his balance, then decides that’s good enough. He did what he came here to do, and he doesn’t need to come back.

Two days later, he comes back. (I mean, who knows? Maybe, he’s gotten better.) He didn’t, obviously. But what harm is there in spending some more time on the ice? Other than the collection of bruises he acquires.

He falls way more than he’d like to admit, but once he teaches himself how to do that safely, it’s actually kind of fun. He circles the rink countless times, figures out to start and stop (though it is admittedly a very ungraceful way of stopping.) He can even kind of control his speed.

So he’s done, right? He did it! He can now ice skate to a degree that isn’t mortifying for a beginner. He doesn’t need to come back.

The Short Program

One week and four visits later, he admits that he is hooked. He wants to see how far he can go with this. But he can’t just improve without proper guidance, so he decides to take Tim’s advice for once and use the internet.

That’s when he really starts improving. Exponentially. He pours over articles and videos and diagrams about gliding, stopping, pivots, crossovers, and finally some simple spins. Just basics, of course.

He also purchases his own pair of skates because the rental ones he’s been “borrowing” suck. And they smell. And he forges a membership card (you know, so there’s no paper trail.)

His original goal is to make it to free skate level, but once he’s there, he can’t stop. It’s just so gratifying to add another skill to his repertoire. If he can do front crossovers, then he can surely master them backward. Closed Mohawks shouldn’t be that bad if the open Mohawks were so easy. Before he knows it, he’s spending hours every week developing his skills.

After a few months, his improvement plateaus because the jumps prove difficult. He doesn’t know how to build up the speed, and his stealth and fighting techniques (which he’s been borrowing from thus far) just make him wipe out. So he works on that for a bit and tries to figure out what he’s doing wrong.

During a JL meeting, The Flash happens to mention a rogue who used to figure skate. Lisa Snart, or the Golden Glider, is a famous figure skater from the 90s, but she was kicked from the Olympic team due to her life of crime. Now, she jumps between both petty crime and vigilantism.

Damian tracks her down and claims to be researching the sport for a school assignment. Yeah, it’s a bit thin of a cover story. If she wanted to see through his lie, she’d only have to break into his school and check his teacher’s assignment book, but once he laments about how every other skater is busy, and he was so surprised to learn that she was no longer skating when she’s clearly so talented, Lisa happily tells him all of the secrets to the sport.

For a few months, he applies her techniques and even asks her to skate for him a few times, recording her from multiple angles. “I value the quality of my education,” he explains. She sees through the lie but doesn’t say anything. (And somehow, he doesn’t particularly care.)

In the coming year, Bruce notices a change in how Robin moves during patrol. If he had to describe it…well, there’s a lot more power behind his movement. He redistributes his momentum with ease, which proves extremely valuable. There’s more height to his jumps and speed in his attacks. On top of it all, he can reorient himself quicker.

Bruce praises Damian once they’re back at the cave and even allows him more freedom during missions. Damian totally doesn’t cry about it in his room.

The Free Skate

Damian refuses to let anyone watch him practice for YEARS to save his pride. I mean, yes, he’s at free skate level 5—thanks, Lisa—but he’s not at level 6 yet! And that won’t take too long, right? Maybe they can know once he’s mastered his quad axel (which is a totally doable goal. He’s not overachieving. He’s Damian Wayne Al Ghul.)

Next, he works on transitions. At first, he copies other skaters’ forms, then he slowly develops his own. It’s sharp in some ways and fluid in others like he’s been on ice his whole life but he’s got places to be.

At about 15 or 16, he invites Jon to come with him one day. He shows him “a few spins” (triple axels) and Jon immediately starts encouraging him to join some kind of showcase or competition.

Damian’s response is “No! I’m not good enough yet. I still can’t land a quad axel. That’s insulting.”

Cue Jon’s family-friendly “bitch please” face. He says, “Okay, but you need to show someone else. I can’t be the only person in the world who knows.” so they get Billy in on it.

He’s obviously good at keeping secrets, considering he hid his age and the fact he was homeless from the JL for five years.

Billy also loses his shit, but he’s more understanding about the “I don’t want to tell anyone else” thing. Thus, Jon and Billy become Damian’s cover for every time he’s caught sneaking out. (He was running out of excuses anyway.)

Bruce hears that Damian is hanging out with Jon and Billy every week, gives him a look, and tells him he’s proud that he’s making friends.

Damian nods along, thanking all the gods in Billy’s head that his secret is safe. If Bruce doesn’t have any reason to snoop, then he won’t. Simple as that. The greatest detective in the world doesn’t need to start snooping.

During the next Winter Olympics, Damian watches every single skating performance from the comfort of his room. (Tim can hear him yelling at his TV through the walls but doesn’t have the energy to question it.)

Jon and Billy are his cheerleaders. They go out for lunch then head to the rink with him and mess around while Damian practices. Sometimes, they spend all day together. Doing homework, gossiping, playing fun little games.

Damian keeps mentioning the quad axel to them until Jon looks it up and says, “Um, hey Dami? Apparently, the quad axel is like…almost physically impossible. You know that, right?“ “If Lisa Snart and Ilia Malinin can do it, so can I.” “Okay, Mr. PhD.” Still, they don’t doubt him for a second.

Damian teaches them some stuff during a public skate in Fawcett City. Jon cheats multiple times by floating a tiny bit to keep his balance. Billy falls a lot.

As much as he likes being with his friends, though, Damian finds himself skating more to clear his head rather than to improve or socialize.

When he has a bad patrol or gets into some trouble he could have avoided, he’ll sneak into the rink alone and skate for hours.

He’ll pour all of his frustration into the music and carve it out into the ice until he’s exhausted and lying down with the cold surface against his back, letting it sink some sense into him.

It’s a good outlet. Kind of like his art, but there are only so many pencils you can snap in anger before your dad cuts your art supply budget. Bruce doesn’t know about this yet.

Six months later, when Damian lands his first quad axel in front of Jon and Billy, they all scream for five consecutive minutes and celebrate with hot chocolate and sorbet.

“What’s got you in such a good mood?” Tim asks when he’s back home. Damian tries to hide his smile but fails spectacularly. “Oh, nothing.” He’s never had a problem with schooling his emotions before, but anything is possible now. Even a quad fucking axel.

Competition Season

During patrol one day, Dick sees Damian spinning on the roof and says, “Hey, where’d you get those sick ballet moves? Did Black Bat teach you that?” Damian immediately stops and says, “Uh yeah.” Thankfully, Dick doesn’t ask Cass to confirm.

At 17, Jason catches him sneaking out at 10 pm and unknowingly opens an entire can of worms.

Damian, too tired to make a good excuse: “I’m seeing Jon.” Jason: “Like a date?” Damian, dying inside: “…Don’t tell Baba.”

At 18, he’s able to reliably land the quad axel and do it with style. It’s almost more gratifying than punching criminals in the face. (Almost.) That’s when Jon and Billy finally bring up the idea of telling others about it.

Damian is still hesitant, but he thinks about it.

I mean, he’s made a lot of progress in six years, hasn’t he? The only other thing he’s spent so long practicing was his assassin training, then his vigilantism, and his art. But this one is special because it’s just his. (And Jon and Billy. Kinda.) And getting to show off to them is fun, especially when he perfects another element, and they got batshit crazy together over it. That would be nice, wouldn’t it? Having a few more people to mess around with in the rink?

He just doesn’t know if it’ll be impressive enough. After all, his entire family is great at stuff. Bruce is the world’s greatest detective—how he hasn’t learned about this yet, Damian doesn’t know. Dick is a beyond incredible acrobat. Jason has one of the highest proficiencies in marksmanship ever. Tim is the best bo staff user on this side of the Atlantic...

...And Damian can do jumps and tricks on the ice. Wow, cool. Good job, Damian.

But then he’s twelve again. And he’s sitting in front of the TV watching Yuzuru Hanyu and Yuna Kim do triple axels, and Dick is inviting him to try it out together. And Cass and Dick are taking him to the rink because they thought it’d be fun. And Lisa is rambling about how she misses skating competitively. And Bruce is telling him he’s proud of the progress Damian’s made both inside and outside of patrol. And Tim is telling him he looks happier than usual.

He is happier.

Yeah. Maybe, they deserve to know.

He agrees to sign up for a free skate competition. But not one in Gotham. And only a small one. He wants to test out the waters first. They find one that’s a month away, and Damian signs up.

When the day comes, Damian is shaking in his skates. He did not account for a “small competition” still having over two hundred people watching. What the fuck was he thinking?

What Jon and Billy don’t tell him is that they snuck Dick into the crowd to watch. Dick has no idea what he’s doing there until he sees Damian skate out to the middle in a red and grey top with black pants and matching skates.

He performs to Beggin’ by Måneskin and starts the performance out with his quad axel.

Everyone loses their shit.

He looks so genuinely excited when he’s skating. He completely ignores the hundreds of people watching, doesn’t count points. He just jams out to the song until he’s breathless, spinning and gliding and jumping and turning to the beat, mostly showing off to Jon and Billy like he always does.

When it’s over, he just hears this massive crowd of people screaming, and then overtop of it, Dick shouts, “THAT’S MY BABY BROTHER!!” and Damian almost falls flat on his face.

Dick uses the Emergency Group Chat to send a video of Damian skating then screams into the phone to Bruce, who immediately drives out to the rink with the rest of the family, and his siblings make Damian do it over once the place is cleared out because they can’t believe they missed it.

Dick: When did you learn to figure skate?! Damian: After we watched the Olympics together. Dick: You’ve been hiding this for SIX YEARS?!?! Damian: …It looked fun.

Of course, Damian is still the son of Bruce Wayne so tabloids eat it up.

“Damian Wayne: Figure Skating Prodigy” “Wayne Prodigy Wins Gold at Regional Figure Skating Competition, Baffling Judges” “Is Damian Wayne fit to represent the US during the next Winter Olympics??”

A swarm of coaches ask Damian if he would like to skate competitively but he declines. He just likes doing it for fun.

Thankfully, the performance was recorded by the competition holders (after a suspicious request from the CEO of Wayne Enterprises last week. Wow, wonder why)

Leave it to Damian to spend his rebellious phase becoming an Olympic-level athlete.

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alieinthemorning · 1 month ago

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Deepest, Darkest, Purest Love [Sylus]

Content: World Underneath: Sealed in Dust Spoilers, Sylus Story Speculation, Angst, Soft Sylus, POV Second Person, Reader-Insert

Pronouns: None

Reblogs: Let me know that you enjoy my work and want to see more, so don’t forget to like and reblog (and comment in the tags. I love seeing people’s rambles in the tags)!

This work’s concepts, plot and original characters are my own which means I do not allow any sort of creative theft nor do I allow my work to be entered into any sort of A.I. bots. Thank you for respecting my space and boundaries.

Sylus…was an enigma to you. After the Nest, the forced resonating, and being told that he wanted to achieve his goal, he needed you to like him in some capacity. Now, you’ve ended up here in one of his many safe houses, wrapped in his arms on the couch while some movie played. Domestic bliss as its finest, but how did you end up here? You knew that it wasn’t just him playing with your feelings while you hopelessly fell for it. No…you knew that his feelings for you were real. His actions and words, although not always obvious, were always clear in the intentions.

“You know very well that I adore you. There is no love purer than mine.”

Despite how you acted toward him, or tried to deceive yourself. You knew you loved him. You loved this man something fierce. And honestly?

It scared you—terrified you.

You understood that you and Sylus shared a past. One of your many pasts, over your many deaths. Unfortunately, you couldn’t remember much (not that you think you ever could). Since EVER had gotten their hands on you and the Aether Core, memories come up spotty and painful. You want to remember, you really do, but it doesn’t seem like you have an actual say in the matter. But from what you can remember…you’ve both died…many, many times. Pitted against each other for some reason or other, then forced to become close—fall in love, just to do it all over again—Oh.

Oh.

“You know very well that I adore you. There is no love purer than mine.”

You were pitted against each other for the Aether core. That’s what wants to devour him—this damned Aether Core.

“Sweetie?” His thumb brushed against your under eye, catching the wetness there. “Why are you crying?”

“I’m sorry!” You wail into his chest. “I’m so sorry for hurting you!”

“I’ve told you before that it was my fault for pushing you—” He grunted as you shoved away from him, shaking your head violently.

“I’m talking about before! Way back when—I still don’t remember it all, but I know that I hurt you, so—” You looked up at him, tears caressing your waterline. “How can you love me so deeply?”

“I’ve told you this once, and I’ll tell you as many times as you need.” He smiled, and you break.

“You know very well that I adore you. There is no love purer than mine.”

You know, and you hate yourself for selfishly enveloping yourself in that love.

A love you do not deserve.

I was trying to do Soft Sylus, which! for the two lines that he speaks, he is in fact soft, so I'm counting it! But it ended up as angst regardless lol.

Now, let's get into what might be his Myth or one of his many pasts with you. I think that the two of you were pitted against each other for the Aether Core. Whoever the hell had y'all fighting wanted to make one of you stronger, and having one kill the other for the core seemed a lot more fun than just choosing one. But! I don't think it worked, y'all got tired of fighting and choose not to take arms when it was time, which not the best idea because you'd be punished, but hey, it did eventually get the message through to them. However, they took another approach, which was getting the two of you closer, so when they did pit you two against each other again, one of you would have to throw your life down for the other, and in this case…it was Sylus.

At least! That's what I'm thinking lol. Just a little theory!

I'm on Bluesky btw~

Ko-Fi | Masterlist

#alie ficlets #alie ficlets: love and deepspace #love and deepspace x reader #lads x reader #sylus x reader #lads sylus x reader

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saerins · 2 years ago

Text

─── 𝐂𝐑𝐀𝐙𝐘

+ gojo satoru x f!readsr | wc 1.8k | content: fluff, slight angst, manga spoilers, friends to lovers, geto is mentioned a lot here, i’m too lazy to proofread !!

notes: i caved , couldn’t help it , i love him and i miss him and i can’t wait for s2 !!! first time writing gojo plus this is word vomit i don’t actually know where i was going with this help :’)

summary: gojo has loved you forever, since back then—and now neither of you can hold back anymore.

“gojo satoru, you’re insane!”

for any normal guy, that’d probably be an insult. but not for this guy, no, because gojo satoru is not normal. he’s anything but. he’s the pinnacle of power in the jujutsu world. has been ever since he was little.

at least, that’s what you came to understand. thanks to suguru.

it’s as if gojo can sense what you’re thinking of, as though he can teleport himself inside that teeny tiny little crevice in your mind and pick out the information he wants. you’re never safe from him, because he always knows what you’re thinking.

it isn’t exactly a bad thing, but sometimes it scares you. being easy to read has never felt so disappointing. not for yourself, no. but because what upsets you, what you try not to think about all the time, is what upsets gojo too.

suguru’s death. his absence.

you wonder if gojo ever took suguru here too, teleported him to the top of the highest skyscraper in tokyo. you wonder if suguru liked the view. then you start to wonder if you could’ve been more for him, whether there was something you could’ve done to be enough.

it’s been a couple years now, and you’d think you would get a little better. but you’re starting to think you never will be. and it’s not like you and suguru were together, no. but you used to dream of it.

you see, you and suguru connected on many of the same levels. but then suguru strayed, and it seemed like the boy you once had eyes for became someone else entirely.

“why the long face?” gojo asks, settling next to you, sitting on the edge of the building where he teleported you to just seconds ago, legs dangling over impending death if any were to fall. well, as long as they didn’t have gojo satoru with them.

old you would’ve seen this as an intrusion. but as it is, gojo has always been there for you. maybe not for selfless reasons, maybe because suguru’s departure didn’t just leave you with a deep scar. you imagine it must be much worse for gojo. because as invincible as he is, even the strongest sorcerer has his weaknesses.

suguru happened to be one of them.

maybe, as much as you need him, maybe gojo satoru needs you too.

he’s been unbearably close most of the time, especially when he’s in the country. and when he’s not, he annoys you consistently over the phone whenever he’s free. and even when he’s not, and then you’re talking to gojo while the monsters are wailing in the background.

gojo’s not very serious most of the time. that’s just the way he is. (he gets very scary when he is serious, but you don’t want to get into that.) mostly he makes jokes about anything and everything, but right now—you turn to look at him, beautiful oceanic eyes hidden by that blindfold—you don’t know which version you’re going to get.

over the years, you’d gotten close to gojo too. enough to know his sweet tooth, enough to know his deep guilt towards suguru. and somehow, after the longest time of only looking at suguru that way, you find yourself questioning what this invisible something between you and gojo is.

not his infinity.

“you ever wonder what life would be like if you weren’t born for this?” you ask, because lately you’ve been feeling this way, feeling like you want to run away from here, run away from this… world.

for a moment, you wish you could be a normal citizen, ignorant to the woes of having to deal with curses, with the woes of having to watch people you know leave this plane far too soon.

you feel gojo’s finger brushing against yours, something that always catches you off guard because he rarely lets his infinity down. your pinkies are intertwined now, and you feel the butterflies forming in your stomach.

“you mean if i didn’t have the six eyes?” gojo grins, and you find yourself wanting to see beyond his blindfold. he rarely takes it down, and you can’t remember the last time you’d seen his eyes.

but you control yourself.

a nod, and gojo hums, contemplating. “if i was a normal guy,” he begins, looking heavenward, and you wonder what he’s really thinking. you don’t have his talent. “i’d hope i was rich.”

you laugh, mirroring his position. “and why would you wanna be rich?”

then, gojo turns back to you, his grin turning into a gentle smile, “so that i could escape with you, take you all around the world with me.”

you find yourself wishing it was true. that he’s a normal guy, and you’re a normal girl. hell, maybe suguru would still be around if it was that way. then you wouldn’t have to spend your time worrying about whether curses would take over the city, wouldn’t go to bed wondering if gojo made it safely back home.

gojo satoru is the strongest sorcerer, yes. but you can’t stop the worries from festering. you can’t stop from thinking that maybe there’s an evil in this world you haven’t seen that’s strong enough to take him away from you too.

after all, when they managed to seal gojo in that box, you thought you’d never see him again. you’ve never felt so powerless, being as weak of a sorcerer as you are, barely being able to help anyone, what more gojo satoru.

“going on an eternal holiday with you all over the world, huh? sounds perfect.”

because it is. because maybe after all this time, after all gojo has done for you—be there for you, become your distraction, become your best friend—maybe you’re ready to let go of what you almost had with suguru after all.

you have someone here, right next to you, who’s perfectly capable of making your heart skip beats and taking care of you even during the times you most feel like shit. sure, he can’t be around all the time, it just comes with the job—but he’s always there when it matters. and you think that’s enough.

gojo thinks you’re beautiful in this light, he doesn’t regret bringing you here. can’t say the same for you though, because he’s been teleporting you all around japan today—you’ve been especially mopey lately. and because it’s been ages since he’s spent time like this with you.

he missed you. a lot.

after all, he’s been in love with you ever since he was eighteen. he’s been attracted to you ever since he met you. but back then you had eyes for his best friend, so he bottled all his feelings up.

but then everything with suguru happened way too fast, leaving you heartbroken, apart from gojo himself. and maybe it was selfish of him but you were the only other person he could throw himself on that would be of any use for the heartache he didn’t want.

he wanted you to lean on him, and he wanted to lean on you too.

is he wrong for wondering if, after all this time, you’re ready to let go of whatever it was with suguru?

“satoru,” you call, and gojo flinches slightly at the contact between your fingers and his cheek. you have two fingers on his blindfold. “can i?”

honestly, he’d let you do anything if you asked. he keeps his happy-go-lucky facade up, grinning and baring his teeth, “go ahead.”

the way you take off his blindfold is painfully slow, like you’re careful about treading on this line, afraid that you’d cross some sort of boundary. but he’s always wanted you to, eagerly, patiently waiting for you.

it’s been over ten years now, and his feelings for you are still the way they’ve always been. you’ve always been special, you are.

you tie his blindfold around your wrist; you can keep it for all he cares. he wants to give you his shirts too, wants to see you covered in everything that’s his. is that too much?

his white lashes flutter slowly as you lean in, his breathing getting shallower the closer you are—you can feel his breath against your lips and you’re sure he’s using his infinity to surround you, to make sure you don’t fall. physically. but you think he wants you to fall, for him.

and you’re too weak to deny it any longer.

you want to let yourself fall into it, into gojo satoru, no matter how dangerous it may be and no matter how much weaker you are in comparison. that’s why your lips press against his, and you’re right, because he kisses you back, with urgency, with his tongue prying your lips apart and his heads on the back of your neck pulling you closer.

satoru pulls you in, lets you straddle him on the edge, asks for more when you pull away. his “no, no, no, don’t go,” so needy, whiny—it’s almost like you can feel his yearning from ever since a decade ago.

when satoru finally lets you pull back, his lips shiny from your touch, the blue in his eyes sparkle against the sunlight and you chuckle, pulling the bangs of his hair backwards, admiring how childlike he looks right now.

“you’re so pretty, satoru.”

he cocks a brow, smirking. “you’re one to talk,” because he thinks you’re the prettiest thing he ever laid eyes on. to gojo, you’re everything that’s good; he wants to have you, keep you, love you, he’ll fucking spoil you silly, he doesn’t care.

now that he knows you reciprocate? he’ll make sure he protects you even more now, makes sure that he’ll make time for you whenever possible. this means he gets to be with you, rest with you, be around you—if he’s being too much you’ll tell him off anyway, that’s how you are.

he likes you the way you are. he always has.

now he gets to love you.

fuck, he’s excited.

“i’m never gonna let you go, you know that?” satoru tells you, grinning, boyish and innocent, because he’s only ever been able to fully let his guard down around you. only you.

it’s infectious; you’re falling. and you like it. it feels like you’re on cloud nine, like you’re floating, like he’s—like he’s fucking carrying you while you’re falling from the top of the skyscraper because he’s still the same gojo satoru who’s cheeky as hell and loves to get under your skin.

you scream and punch him on his chest continuously, not that it hurts him. he’s laughing, that devil. then he teleports you both to the ground instead, still laughing. tears form at the corners of your eyes—you’re pouting, and god you’re so beautiful.

“don’t be scared, baby, i told you i’m never gonna let you go,” he winks and you punch him, hard. he winces this time.

“gojo satoru, you’re fucking insane. i hate you.”

“you’re a horrible liar, baby.”

you are. because you love him. dearly. no matter how infuriating he is sometimes.

you roll your eyes. “you’re lucky i like you, satoru.”

he grins, because yes, he knows. he knows he’s lucky. and he’ll make sure he keeps this luck, forever.

#jjk x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x reader #gojo x you #gojo x y/n #gojo satoru x you #gojo satoru x y/n #jjk fluff #gojo fluff #gojo satoru fluff #૪ aeri’s fics !

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shadowserenity28 · 1 year ago

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Obey Me boys as dads

I won’t be doing Luke for obvious reasons and I won’t do Raphael and Mephistopheles either because I don’t really know them. Anyways, here are my headcanons on what the Obey Me boys would realistically be like as dads. No sugarcoating, no idealism, no fangirling, though other headcanons I have about them will come into play. I will theorize about what they would be like as dads based on their personality and relationships to each other. So without further ado, let’s begin:

warning: slight spoilers for Simeon

Lucifer

With Lucifer, it is pretty easy to imagine what he would be like as a father given he acts like a father towards his brothers. And in all honesty, he is downright abusive. His go-to method of punishment is hanging his brothers from the ceiling or threatening them to do horrible things to them like feeding them to Cerberus. Not to mention that, given he is the Avatar of Pride, he can’t admit he’s wrong.

If he had a child, Lucifer would treat them no different than his brothers, given he basically raised them, too. I do believe he would be able to teach his child well, but not without giving it mental health issues. He would give physical affection such as cuddles and kisses, and I do believe he would love his child like he loves his brothers. However, the child wouldn’t actually feel loved because he’s always being so harsh on it.

Mammon

Mammon would be a decent dad, though he would definitely teach the child how to steal. Given he is the punching bag of the family and gets the most shit from Lucifer, he would do everything in his power to protect his child from that treatment. I do think he would spoil his child with gifts and spend time with it by playing with them. He would also teach him all kinds of gambling games and take them to casinos once they’re old enough.

However, Mammon would be oblivious to obvious dangers for a child and underestimate a child’s stupidity. He’s the type to let the kid run over the kitchen counter and not think of the possibility it might fall, but he would also learn whenever his behavior was pointed out because he really wants to keep his child safe.

Leviathan

Leviathan would raise his child to be an otaku. He will teach it all about the Tale of the Seven Lords and all his favorite anime. He would be more of a buddy dad, not really good at teaching him life lessons because he can barely get his own shit together. If his child displays any interests he doesn’t share, he would find it difficult to engage in their hobby. He would probably self-loathe, thinking his child doesn’t love him or that he’s a terrible father.

Generally, he would constantly question his abilities as a father and spends many nights crying that he’s not good enough. But his child would genuinely feel loved, they might think their father is wimpy, but would never think of him as a bad father.

Satan

Satan would really struggle not lashing out at his child every five seconds. He’s the type of dad to get irritated whenever the kid asks for his help. He did not prepare for having to give his child 99% of his attention and gets frustrated that he can’t do the things that calm him down, like reading and petting cats. That causes him to lash out at his child more than necessary, which in turn makes the child fear their own father.

However, I can imagine that he becomes a better dad over time and bonds with his child by reading to them and taking them out to cat cafés. Still, he’s the Avatar of Wrath, and those anger issues don’t just go away.

Asmodeus

Surprisingly, Asmodeus would be a great dad. I imagine him being very fond of children. He loves their innocence and wants to protect it at all costs. While he is called narcissistic by the game itself, he isn’t actually narcissistic. He’s vain and openly loves himself, but that’s not the same as being a narcissist. Asmodeus is capable of loving others, such as his brothers, Solomon and MC.

Asmodeus would shower his children with affection and will never miss a chance to tell them how much he loves them with hugs and kisses. Also he would definitely have the most children because… lust. I don’t think he would play favorites, he would try to treat them all equally. He would not accept self-loathing, he wouldn’t want any of his children to suffer any kind of depression or body dysmorphia as he’s been through that himself. He would strictly keep his sin away from them, though once they reach the age he would be the best out of all the brothers to have the birds and the bees talk.

Beelzebub

Beel would also be a wonderful dad. He would definitely make sure his child is well-fed and exercise with them as soon as they can. He would constantly look out for his child, his biggest fear being something happening to it. He would definitely have some war flashbacks, thinking about how he failed to protect Lillith and desperately wants to make sure he doesn’t repeat his mistake.

Beel would also make sure to attend every game or school event his child has. He wouldn’t even let his gluttony control him enough to miss that.

Belphegor

Honestly, I think Belphie would lowkey not want any children. To him they’re a hassle and too much work for the Avatar of Sloth. If he did end up having a child, he wouldn’t be doing any of the hard work. No changing diapers or feeding them, and gosh someone get them to shut up so he can sleep. He’ll probably get earmuffs so he doesn’t have to listen to the screaming.

Belphie would spend time with his child when he’s in the mood, mostly teaching it mischief to annoy Lucifer. He would also come to enjoy napping with the child once he realizes they sleep well when he’s with them.

Diavolo

Diavolo is the chaotic, but often absent dad given he’s the future king of the Devildom. He wouldn’t have much time for his child because of his duties, so the child would mostly grow up with nannies. However, whenever Diavolo has time, he will use it to give his child the best time possible. He would take it to all kinds of amusement parks, fun fairs and other events and give them all the toys they want as a way to make up for his lack of presence.

Diavolo would also be pretty irresponsible, like Mammon he would underestimate the dangers certain activities pose for a child. but unlike Mammon, he wouldn’t learn from his mistakes, thinking it’s fine as long as nothing happens. And even if something happens, he would be like “Welp, better be careful next time” instead of not letting a next time happen.

Barbatos

Barbatos would be an emotionally distanced dad. He would not be absent, in fact he would carry his child around everywhere because he believes nobody could look out better for his child than himself. Given he’s a timelord, he would also want to monitor them in case they inherited his power, so that they don’t tear apart time and space.

Given his stoic personality, he wouldn’t be good with showing his emotions and showing how much he loves his child. However, he shows them by baking with them, letting him help with his chores and teaching them. His punishments are harsh, but not as over the top as Lucifer’s and he would never even threaten to hurt his child.

Simeon

Simeon is basically a dad to Luke already, though I don’t think either of them think of it that way. Unsurprisingly, he’s the religious dad, and there’s a chance he unintentionally gives his child the same religious trauma he suffers from himself. He’s a good but strict teacher, seeing how he lets Luke find answers to certain questions, which I believe is a good approach to teach independence and problem solving skills. He’s the type who helps his child through emotional turmoil through rational solutions, trying to teach them the “proper” way he himself has strayed from, and he paid the price.

Simeon was demoted from a seraph to an archangel for defending the brothers during the Great Celestial War, and later to a human for stealing the Ring of Light. He believes he has strayed from the right path and wants to set things right by making sure the same doesn’t happen to his child, but in the process of doing that he unintentionally gives them religious trauma, which might cause them to fall from grace even harder than himself.

Solomon

Don’t give this man a child. The child would probably die of food poisoning before it can walk.

If you'd like to see this for twisted wonderland or enstars, let me know.

#obey me #obey me headcanons #headcanon #obey me solomon #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beel #obey me belphegor #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me simeon #dad headcanons #obey me shall we date #obey me nightbringer #obey me fanfic

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basilpaste · 4 months ago

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GO MY LOCK FIGHT. TWOHATS SPOILERS.

[1,898 words below.]

(There is no one at the Favor Tree.)

(But… that’s not exactly true, is it?)

(The leaves of the tree rustle just out of sync with the wind, some of the branches dipping just a little bit too low.)

(...)

(. . . . .)

“Lock?”

(Silence.)

“Lock, say something!” (You shout.) “I know you’re here.”

〘“...”〙

(The branches of the tree shift, shooting up and sending a cascade of leaves to the ground.)

(When the scene clears, Lock is here.)

(It doesn’t say anything, it just looks at you. Straight at you. Letting you examine it clearly.)

(You knew, didn’t you? Even if it looks nothing like him, you’d recognize one of your closest friends anyways, wouldn’t you?)

(Isa.)

(It takes one of the lightless charms that hangs from the ring around its face, holding it up to the light.)

(It glints.)

〘“...”〙

〘“Siffrin.”〙

〘“Why are you here?”〙 (It brings the earring down, hands folding on its lap.) 〘“You won, didn’t you?”〙

〘“You did it! You finally actually did it. You’re free. The King is gone, your friends are safe, you made it!”〙

〘“... I’m so happy for you.”〙 (It means it, you can tell. You think that makes it worse.) 〘“You made it out. So… go. Live your new life. You don’t need me anymore.”〙

(You don’t know what to say. So instead you just stay put.)

〘“Go!”〙 (It says again, almost desperate.) 〘“Don’t just stand there! You’re free, Siffrin. Be free.”〙

(You don’t move from your spot.) “I—”

〘“Leave me alone here! I have nothing else to offer you.”〙

(You want to argue. You can’t get a word in edgewise.)

〘“Siffrin, I am a tool. Something here to aid you with the loops. And now they’re over! You made it! There’s nothing left for me to do for you.”〙 (Its voice shakes.) 〘“There’s no reason to come back here. To talk to me. No reason at all! You don’t need the shackle around your wrist now that the chain’s been cut. There’s nothing keeping you here.”〙

〘“So you should just go.”〙

(You don’t move.)

〘“What else do you want me to say? What else can I possibly say?”〙 (It bows its head, hands balling into fists.) 〘“You did it, Siffrin! I’m so glad!”〙

“...”

〘“Y’know… you’re smarter than you give yourself credit for. I’m sure you get it. You’ve talked to Isabeau enough times to understand.”〙

〘“I’ve worn so many hats at this point that all I am is the rack that they sit on. When I — when he — met everyone, it was the first time he ever felt like he belonged.”〙

〘“He was a nervous child and a friendly, but distant, adult. The people he met on his journey… they were the closest thing to family he’s ever had.”〙

〘“And — and he didn’t want to lose them. He was too scared!”〙

〘“So he made the exact same kind of mistake that you did. Made a stupid wish, hoping that he could stay with them all! That he’d never have to just be a friendly face again.”〙

〘“He fought his way through the House, tried to fight the King, for so long that he lost track.”〙

〘“And eventually he lost himself, too. And he couldn’t keep going.”〙

〘“He gave up.”〙

〘“But instead of nearly destroying the world, he destroyed himself. Change is… destruction, y’know?”〙

〘“And then he made a new wish.”〙

〘“He wished that he knew what to do.”〙

〘“He wished that something would change.”〙

〘“He wished for someone to help him.”〙

〘“He wished for anyone to help him. So he didn’t have to be strong anymore.”〙

(...)

〘“And someone did help him, right?”〙

〘“For a long time, I thought it was the Change God. On a surface level it fit the bill — right? I was Changed. I became something totally different than what I was before.”〙

〘“But the Change God is a pretty lazy deity.”〙

〘“I realize now that it was the Universe. I made a wish, even if I didn’t know that I was doing it.”〙

〘“And the Universe granted that wish by trapping you in time instead. By making me into a tool to help guide you.”〙

〘“I was horrified.”〙

〘“My stupid, uneducated wish got Siffrin trapped in the loops instead!!!”〙

〘“And all I could do was watch. All I could do was give you as much information as I had and hope you wouldn’t make all of the same mistakes that I did.”〙

〘“Which you didn’t. You got out! You made it through!”〙

〘“...”〙

〘“And now… now you can go.”〙

〘“So please just go.”〙

(You won’t.)

〘“Please, Siffrin.”〙

(You can’t.)

(Lock gets to its feet unsteadily, hands wrapped around itself. Even without eyes, you can tell that it’s looking anywhere but at you.)

〘“Fine.”〙

〘“If you won’t leave on your own, I’ll make you leave.”〙

〘“Being a weapon isn’t that different from being a tool.”〙

〘“... Let’s just get this over with.”〙

[Down 1:] (LOCK cries out.)

〘“I’m not stopping until you give up and go.”〙

〘“Sorry, Siffrin. Did you forget?”〙

〘“I used to be in your shoes, y’know?”〙

〘“[If I die I, can just loop back.]”〙

〘“Hah…”〙

[Down 2:] 〘“The person I used to be never beat the King. Not in a way that mattered.”〙

〘“The only time he ever managed it, it all went back to the start! And he could never do it again. He tried. Not hard enough.”〙

〘“... Isabeau. He sits in front of the Favor Tree for a long time at the start of each loop. Before you get here.”〙

〘“I thought about it sometimes, y’know? How much time there is.”〙

〘“I could take his place before you ever left the meadow! Be a person again. Be him again.”〙

〘“But I’m not a person anymore. I’m just here to help you!”〙

〘“I’m here to help you. And I did that!”〙

〘“So why won’t you just LEAVE?! Learn how to quit, Siffrin! I DON’T WANT TO BE HERE ANYMORE.”〙

〘“Don’t you get that?! Do you have any idea how horrible it is to see these — these knockoffs of people you knew?”〙

〘“It’s awful, Siffrin! It’s terrible!”〙

〘“You don’t understand what it’s like to see the face that used to be yours and not recognize it!!!”〙

〘“I CAN’T REMEMBER MY OWN FACE.”〙

〘“I DON’T RECOGNIZE ANYONE'S FACE ANYMORE. NOT EVEN YOURS.”〙

〘“SO JUST!!!”〙

〘“LEAVE ALREADY!!!!!!”〙

[Down 3, End:] 〘“PLEASE!!!”〙

(Lock hesitates.)

(Seeing the opening, you strike!)

〘“Please.”〙

(Lock can’t fight anymore.)

(You won.)

(. . .)

〘“Siffrin.”〙

(It sounds more exhausted than you’ve ever heard it.)

〘“I don’t — I know it’s selfish but I don’t want to be here anymore.”〙

〘“It’s not that I want to die, but… I’m tired.”〙

〘“This is the kind of burden you shouldn’t have to face. Not anymore.”〙

〘“Leave. Go be happy.”〙

(You don’t get it.) “... Wasn’t talking about things the whole point of this? Wasn’t it the reason I even broke the loops?”

(Lock laughs.)

(It’s so weak you barely hear it.)

〘“Stars. That’s true.”〙

〘“I meant it when I said that you’re smarter than you think you are, Siffrin.”〙

(So…) “Why not talk about it, then?”

〘“You have a whole life to live now. People who love you.”〙

〘 “Siffrin I — I don’t.”〙

〘“They’re all… long gone now. And I’m not ever going to get them back.”〙

〘“You have something to strive for.”〙

〘“I don’t want to be the shackle on your wrist anymore.”〙

〘“So just… leave! Go! Live a good long life that’s worth living!!!”〙

〘“Kill me if you have to!”〙

〘“Just don’t stay here!!!”〙

(...)

(You want to do that. Live a good life.)

(You don’t want Lock to suffer like this, though. It hurts to see it so desperate.)

(It’s your friend! Even if it doesn’t let you call it that.)

(You want your friends to be happy. You want Lock to be happy.)

“I’ll leave soon.” (You say slowly, quietly.) “I just… I wanted to say goodbye.”

(Lock presses its lips together.)

〘“Goodbye, Siffrin.”〙

“And!!!” (You add hurriedly) “I wanted to thank you.”

〘“Thank me?”〙 (It echoes.) 〘“For what?”〙

“For everything.”

〘“What?”〙

“I couldn’t have done it without you, Lock!”

〘“I… I don’t—”〙

“Without you, I would’ve given up a long time ago!”

“But you were always here! Giving me advice and guiding me through the worst of it. Even if you didn’t have all the answers, you always did your best to help me out!”

“You gave me company, someone to talk to when I couldn’t talk to anyone else!” (You smile.) “But you were there, and it meant I wasn’t alone.”

〘“Stop.”〙

“It’s thanks to you!”

〘“STOP!!!”〙

(You toss your dagger to the side, into the grass. You’re kneeling over Lock right now, but you dip down and wrap your arms around it.)

〘“Siffrin…”〙

(You feel its arms around you.)

〘“I hate you.”〙

“No.” (You say.) “You don’t.”

〘“No. I don’t.”〙(It agrees.) 〘“I hate this.”〙

“Odile told me to thank you, too.”

“Everyone is really thankful.”

〘“Whuh— why?”〙

“You helped everyone, didn’t you? You guided everyone to the King?”

“They couldn’t have done it without you, either!”

“You helped save me. I wouldn’t be here without you.”

〘“Siffrin.”〙

〘“... Sif.”〙

“Thank you for everything, Isa.”

〘“Lock.”〙

〘“I… haven’t been Isabeau in a very long time. I’m okay with Lock. At least for now.”〙

“Thank you, Lock. For everything.”

(Lock doesn’t respond.)

(You don’t think it can cry, but it hiccups against your shoulder.)

(The two of you sit like that for a long time.)

〘“Siffrin… I’ll be okay.”〙

“Will you?”

〘“I will.”〙

“Will I ever see you again?”

〘“... Yeah. I’m sure we’ll meet again eventually.”〙

(It pulls away from you and grabs the charm it had pulled from its ring earlier.)

(Grabbing your hand gently, it places it into your palm, shutting your fingers around it.)

〘“... Give that back to me the next time we see each other.”〙

(Oh!!!)

(You slip the charm into your pocket.)

(After a moment, you take one of the clips off of your cloak and hand it to Lock.)

“We’ll trade back next time we see each other!”

(It laughs. Bright and warm and lively.)

〘“Deal.”〙 (It says, cradling your clip in its hand like something precious. 〘“Go live, Siffrin. I’ll… maybe I’ll start living, too.”〙

#basil writes #isat spoilers #in stars and time spoilers #isat au #osis swap #isat fanfic

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monimccoythings · 2 years ago

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Tiny and cute!

Here I come with a new one! Thanks to all the shitposts that give me life and inspiration to write this! I think this might be the last one I write of this series for now, because I’m literally out of ideas lol. But it has been really really fun. I really enjoyed it. But don’t worry, I’ll keep posting if I get more ideas.

Ayyy lmao when I get a better quality of the angery boi in a pickle jar I update it. This contains spoilers!!! If you haven’t watched the movie yet, go and watch it now! It’s worth it!

Previous parts: 1 and 2

Next parts: 4 and 5

tags: @loveforfandomsstuff @harpy-space

After so many tiring weeks working your ass off for the minimum wage, you finally got a very well deserved vacation. Which you were totally planning to spend with your friends and your little pal.

He was such a grumpy pants, he cussed you whenever you came close, but deep down inside his little black heart you knew he craved the attention. If only he didn’t try to bite your fingers with his hampter teef.

So, you, Peach, Mario, Luigi and Toad set off on a journey to the Kong Kingdom, a tropical paradise, for a week of unashamedly lazing off. Since nobody trusted Bowser to be left on his own without causing a ruckus (throwing the piano over and over again against the bars of the cage), you so kindly offered to bring him along in a pet carrier. Oh he was big mad now.

Didn’t help that you kept feeding him apple slices through the bars saying “does the Big Boy want his appy slices?” and it certainly didn’t help either that the Big Boy really wanted his appy slices. To make up for the embarrasment, maybe you’d let him take a sip of your Caipiranha plant cocktail.

The Kong Kingdom was something you wouldn’t have even imagined in a thousand years, and you came from the Mushroom Kingdom. Throw tropical paradise, with Aztec aesthetic and Nash Car in a blender, mix it, and that’s what you get.

One of the Kongs kindly took you all to your huts and very wisely ignored all the Traffic regulations and laws of safe driving, which moved you so much, you spent the entire journey with tears in your eyes and your mouth open in a never ending scream of pure terror. Yeah, next time you were walking.

One of the most peculiar traditions of the Kongs that you experienced there was some kind of tournament in a stage that was literally floating on air. You had to say it was a bit awkward when the kinda handsome? and cocky prince of the Kongs invited you all over to ‘smash’. Oh well, it would be way too difficult and weird to explain it to them anyways, and quoting Mario, ‘that was a pipe that wasn’t worth exploring’.

The tournament was like watching a real gladiator battle, but the gladiators had superpowers, and they were monkeys. Of course DK won, since, until Mario, he was the undefeated champion. He was a show off, you were truly impressed and cheering for him. He sent a flirtatious wink your way. And a loud thump was heard from inside the carrier. Awww, potato man didn’t want anybody else catching your attention. That was so sweet of him, actually.

The truth was, that despite this being a bit of a holiday, the real reason you all were there was because the turtle had to answer for his crimes against the Kong Kingdom. Godzilla v. Kong. It was jury duty for your friends, yaaayy.

Apparently Bowser didn’t get the memo. He was absolutely angery, screaming, raging, fighting. There was no way to handle him. To try an coerce him out of the carrier and into a proper cage was a task no Kong was patient enough to endure.

Would have it been easier to handle if he had remained in his temporary enclosure? Yeah, it would, but Kongs were monkeys with deeply rooted traditions, and if the teeny mutant ninja toitle had to be in a cage on the witness stand, then he would be in it, conscious or not. Looks like they had very little regard for the rules of the courtroom, but he had tried to kill them, so they were even.

Nobody took into account the possibility that he would manage to break free and make a run for the entrance. Tbh, it was kinda sad to watch him give the effort of his life trying to get to a door that was like ten feet away from where you all were. Still, no Kong was able to lay a hand on him, given how slow he was and how eager he seemed in getting hit, it was as if they were avoiding him on purpose. Peach would later explain you that given the nature of the power up, if he got hit in any way the mushroom would loose its effect and would turn him back to his original size, which was a big nope.

While the jury was debating wheter let him enjoy what little freedom he would have before he was tricked back into the pet carrier or just pick him and finish it, you had a moment of enlightment. That was it, the moment you had been waiting for for the last months, what you had unconsciously been training for your entire life. This was your moment to shine, your moment to be the hero, your moment to-

“Look at you so tiny and cute!” You gushed, picking him up, mindful of the spikes in his shell. He wiggled, trying to be set free and demanding you to put him down that instant or throw him as hard as you could against the wall. But the only thing you wanted to do was...

* smooch * You kissed the tip of his nose. You had been wanting to boop it since day one, and its scales were as soft as you had imagined. Your life dream had been achieved.

Bowser went very still in your hold. His eyes were wide and his pupils had shrunk with shock. The Kongs looked horrified at you so casually holding a narcissistic and psychotic tyrant like a pet, Peach was awkardly smiling at the eldest Kong, Cranky, while Mario and DK were trying as hard as they could to not burst out laughing. Luigi quietly snapped a pic and quickly hid the phone in his overalls, when the guards shot him dirty looks.

It were a couple of uncomfortable minutes that felt like years for all of you, until someone decided to clear their throat, snapping all out of their stupor. Bowser was still frozen so putting him inside the cage was easy. And so, the trial went on without any more disturbances. Whetever the sentence was, he didn’t hear it, nor did he care. Because his mind was occupied by something else. The kiss.

BONUS SCENE

You didn’t know how it had all started but suddenly there was a loud explosion and the entire castle was on flames. Tumbling, you made your way through a bunch of screaming toads towards the source of the blast. Because you perfectly knew where it had started.

The thick smoke made your eyes watery and you blinked several times, trying to clear your vision through the tears. You coughed several times, your lungs ached and you felt like you were going to pass out at any given moment. But you had to keep going fowards, make sure everyone got out safe. And by everyone you meant every single one of the creatures inhabiting this castle.

Finally, you reached the giantic doors. Exhausted, you tripped and desperately clinged onto the golden knobs, burnng your palms in the process due to the overheated metal. Thankfully, your weight was enough to pull the doorknob and push the door open.

You fell against the cracked marble floor, the only things in front of you were the dark columns of smoke that clouded your vision and the burning roar of the flames in your ears. Until, you saw it.

A gigantic dark shadow with glowing red eyes pulled out from the darkest of nightmarish Hells. The eyes burned with a flaming passion and seemed to be piercing your soul. For the first time in a long time, you felt true fear running through your veins. Still, you were too stunned to move.

A low rumble came out of that disturbing sight. It started to approach you, with every step it took the ground shook, and the less time you had to make a run for it. A shiver ran down your spine at the thought that were you brave enough to run, this monster would catch you in a matter of seconds despite its size.

A sob got caught in your throat when the smoke cleared and you got to see the owner of those eyes.

Your little fella. Your beloved tiny musical tot that played piano. Literally everyone’s warnings against him suddenly came to mind. He was not so little now.

Bowser extended one hulking arm, and with one of his meaty fingers, he dragged a claw through your collarbone without breaking the skin, like some twisted version of a caress. He let out a low purr, certainly deepest than it had sounded merely days ago. “Look at you...So tiny and cute...”

#bowser x reader #bowser x y/n #bowser x you #super mario movie x reader #mario movie x reader #Bowser #y/n #mario movie #x reader

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m3-kk · 6 months ago

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TCF NOVEL SPOILERS- My TCF notes

Hmmm it’s been a minute since I posted any of my TCF notes about the chapters.. so here ya go! THIS US PART 2 SHAWTYS!!

Ch. 1- YESSS CHAPTER 1!! Not the Kings Palace going kaboom 😶 Cale needs to rest!!! Slacker chan!!!

Ch. 5- AHHHHHHHHHH LEE SOO HYUKKKKKKKK LETSS GOOOOO! BLACK HAWKK OOO

Ch. 6- His name is now Sui Khan 😮

Ch. 7- 🍪 Cookiess! So we have to travel different dimensions now? Cale needs a break 😭😭

Ch. 8- World with the white mages = Xiaolen Planet

Ch.9- YAY DIVINE ITEM MIRROR LAPTOP THINGY! We are definitely going to like the other worlds people evil smirk 😏

Ch. 10- HAH CALE HUNG UP ON DUKE FREDO LOL! Sooo Cale is a god. 😀

Ch. 12- Dead mana is purer AND Cale’s power is more efficient here? Interesting..

Ch. 13- Hey we have a spare world tree!

Ch. 15- Mary is registering as a candidate to be a necromancer empress GO MARY!

Ch. 16- AW HER FAKE NAME IS “Heni Wishrop” HENI STANDS FOR HENITUSE!

Everyone thinks our Mary is powerful hehe!

Ch. 21- Working with Zero & the 4th Prince for the Harmony test :D

Ch. 22- OOooo Black Rain 🌧️

Ch. 24- Now we actually need to kill those hunters. How dare they lay a finger on our family. Let’s flip them over immediately.

Ch. 25- Yay! Hong & On <3 Let’s go to the infected area! 2nd Princess?

Ch. 26- the 2nd imperial princess has been converted to Caleism hah m! Tree-bush monster ye fire, destruction, protection!

Ch. 27- Are you human? HAHAH CALEE

Ch. 28- That Marquis guy is smart. Cale really is acting like a purifier so funny!

Ch. 31- Blood Message! How scary!

Ch. 34- Attacking the bad guys >:]

Ch. 36- BURNNNNNNN 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Ch. 37- 50% power to get 2,500% as a result! SO EFFICIENTTTT WEEEEEE

Ch. 38- THE HUNTER WHO HUNTS HUNTERS! GO CALE SO POWERFUL HA!

Ch. 39- Cale.. not everyone is a super powerful ultimate other worldly being like you! I feel bad for Goldie Gramps 😭

Ch. 40- In Prison with the fam 😜

Ch. 41- We are going to loot!! Goldie Gramps is angry and that dragon is timid but crazy. I love our family! CHAOS LOVE

Ch. 42- DESTROY THE ESTATE MWAHAH

Ch. 43- So sad that we couldn’t loot 😭🥲

Ch. 44- Ooo Opening the safe 💰

Ch. 54- ooo revealing us to the empire?

Ch. 58- Choking? Reminds me of Adin

Ch. 63- HAH I KNEW IT THE FAKE WT IS STAYING YOOO

Ch. 64- INFOOO! Not the Patriarch blowing up that’s crazy! We could’ve gotten so much more info! But oh well! Five Colors ooo!

Ch. 65- HAHAH THE GOD OF DEATH IN THE GROUP CHAT HAHAH I LOVE HIMM HEHHEHE (I love this chapter)

Ch. 66- AWWW Chatting with fire of Purification in puppy form!

Ch. 67- This is so cute I’m glad we get a lil’ rest just chatting with the nice puppy ❤️ I love!!!

Ch. 69- Almost the end of this arc!

Ch. 71- HOME WITH THE MONEYYYYY

Ch. 73- Ron, Beacrox! I missed uuuu!

Ch. 75- Aw the Henituse Fam! Billos!

Ch. 76- You get a mine, you get a mine. EVERYONE GETSA MINE!!

Ch. 78- YOU HAVE BEEN PROMOTED YOU ARE NOW ONE OF MY ELITE EMPLOYEES!

Ch. 79- @CP we have a mommy on our side? Mummy’s boy emperor as well???

Ch. 81- CENTRAL PLAINS?! The sworn brother goodbye was cute.

Ch. 83- We meet CP’s clone?? Cutie??

Ch. 85- The disrespect! They can’t pronounce our Cale Henituse’s name!

Ch. 86- NEW NAMES LETSGOOO

Ch. 90- YOO we got a golden plaque!

Ch. 91- Cale ignores Toonka but not Roan!

Ch. 93- We found the living jiangshi!

Ch. 94- enlightenment is crazy****

Ch. 97- Talking with the Sword Sainttt

Ch. 100- Purification! Chapter 100!

Ch. 101- One word, blood. SHITTTTT NOO

Ch. 102- AWKWARD! Yay Choi Jung SOO

Ch. 106- LET HIM EATTTT

Ch. 108- So many ally’s yay !!!!

Ch. 112- We. Are. Going. To. EATT! (a elixir)

Ch. 113- 70% shield 53% water

Ch. 116- The Alliance leader is being bitchy SHOW EM’ WHOSE BOSS! (Roan misses Alberu)

Ch. 118- Don’t hurt our Cale! Please!

Ch. 119- Aw I love when Choi Han & Beacrox talk together about family

Ch. 121- Ah the god ole trash bastard days

Ch. 123- Green Forest Bastards try and mess with us?! Angry Cale! >:(

Ch. 124- OO Cale is the BOSS MAN

Ch. 127- 68% then 72% of fire!!

Ch. 128- Pfft Caleism has a poem now lol.

Ch. 129- HUHH Big complicated lore??

Ch. 131- WOAHH The Heavenly Demon is a smart cookie fr fr wow intelligent!

Ch. 135- The Left Guard is so cute awe

Ch. 136- Oh no the Heavenly Demon ain’t doing so good :[

Ch. 137- Helping out the HD again. Spy?

Ch. 139- Aw Choi Family spars. I love it

Ch. 141- HD is being healed yay

Ch. 142- I was so concerned about Cale the whole time! Bloody Battle

Ch. 146- (I hope everyone at home is ok)

Ch. 151- TALKING WITH ALBERU YAYAYAY

Ch. 152- Pinnacle Demon is poison crazy

Ch. 153- We going to destroy things now?

Ch. 154- YAY DESTRUCTION DESTROY

Ch. 155- FINALLY FLIP THINGS OVER KYA

Ch. 157- OO WATER AP FOUND SOMETHIN

Ch. 158- OMG DRAGON LORE?? YAHOO

Ch. 159- “Raon’s lackey” I got the chills!

Ch. 160- OOOooo I’m hooked! Dragons<3

Ch. 162- Oh DAMN! We got a mf jackpot! Water is 300 percent stronger than the OG. No blood shed! Dragons are great!

Ch. 163- HAHA LOOTING ANCIENT STUFF

Ch. 165- Scale+Crown+Crown=Red Crown

Ch. 169- Shit is going down! TSUNAMI!

Ch. 171- How dare she think to threaten us, she shall die by Choi Hans sword.

Ch. 176- Old man Baek describes Cale’s world and “reads” him

Ch. 183- I love that we can run wild!! 😜

Ch. 185- THE PRIESTESS the youngest daughter of Orsena!

Ch. 186- The Dominantung Aura

Ch. 187- Our little Han got stronger (I’m so fucking proud of him 🥲)

Ch. 188- We killed her.. Last words?

Ch. 189- The Formation Collapsed!

Ch. 190- Raon’s MC moment. (Cute bond)

Ch. 191- Using water AP to Max! Or not?

Ch. 192- the Punto Banhui and Tears💧

Ch. 195- You got games on your phone?

Ch. 196- Everyone wants Cale to be a god

Ch. 199- WE LEFT!!! NOW WE ARE HOMEE

Ch. 200- Awww so cute at Alberu’s casa

Ch. 201- That actually so funny 🤣

Ch. 202- Zoom Call with Ahn Roh Man talking about gamess. Similarities?

Ch. 206- Aw it been a bit since we chilled

Ch. 209- Speech ruined! (So every time Cale has to do a speech it’s interrupted)

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revserrayyu · 3 months ago

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Real quick Wardance thoughts [part 2]

**SPOILERS** for everything happening after the final match. Basically some story stuff and a bunch of goodbyes, but it’s mostly just me loving every second the Yaoqing trio is on screen.

Seeing a younger Jing Yuan is precious, but it was made even better hearing Alejandro’s natural voice during this short scene.

I know Igor was mentioned at the very start of this event and was sort of a constant, small side story amongst everything else, but his history and reason for entering the Wardance really was unfortunate from what I remember (which isn’t much.) Shame he’s no longer around. I would’ve definitely tried pulling for him if he ever had the chance to be playable.

While Jarilo-VI is no longer a small, unknown ball of ice floating in space, I was not expecting it to have more visitors so soon. I wonder how the Belobogians reacted to seeing their first foxian. & is it safe to assume that our pilot, who refuses to fly anymore, took the Astral Express here? Because that’s what I’m going to believe. Also, Seele spotted! Huzzah!! (no Serval at all though. I cry. or Clara now that I think about it.)

More allies, let’s goooo! Dang, imagine how awesome it would be to see Belobog experience other seasons aside from a perpetual winter. Or to have the residents able to travel outside the city’s walls, free from any danger. I adore everyone from Belobog so much and I hope they get the chance to live such fulfilling lives. They deserve it!

I have not checked the museum for myself yet, but if this photo is actually displayed there now, then that is so cute. And I know I can’t be alone in thinking this, but because of the striking red hair, Igor must be some sort of ancestor to Luka, yeah? It might be a stretch but they even got similar big grins too.

Alright, enough of my favorite planet and onto my favorite trio. Jiaoqiu sweetie, I treasure those few days so much! I just wish you were spared from all the trauma.

What a way with words. A poet, even. And yes of course I chose the first option. I feel bad pointing out his little slip up, but I wanted to know his reaction even more.

Pfft, the fact they let him talk for so long without mentioning he was facing the wrong way.. I’ll admit it is a bit comical.

Awww honey no! Don’t apologize! If I were them, I’d move myself in front of whatever direction he was facing so he wouldn’t feel bad.

It’s okay, we don’t blame you! At least he says it’s only his eyes that aren’t of any use instead of himself. That’s thinking positively I guess. I’m sure he’s still quite capable in doing many things, even in a kitchen. I mean, the guy had his eyes closed 90% of the time anyway, so surely he can still cook up a decent meal while blind thanks to muscle memory and his expertise. The other two would gladly assist him as well.

How much you wanna bet our Jiaoqiu isn’t going to listen to any doctor’s order because he’s a healer and knows his body better than anyone else? Feixiao & Moze are gonna make certain he heals up properly. But maaann, I wish they showed us Feixiao in the crowd during the final match, if only for a split second.

A perfect trio. One who can’t compete because of rules, another who wouldn’t fight because that’s not his job and the other who shouldn’t, lest he end someone’s life by accident. Pretty fair reasons.

Moze is an absolute mood. I’m not a big fan of chatting either. Quite ironic, given how much I can ramble on about this game and its characters, isn’t it?

Her whole “lacking in worries, regrets and rivals” outlook on life is wonder and I love it but NOW our Lacking General has but ONE REGRET! Aaaah.. honestly, I do too. I regret not pulling Jiaoqiu, but IN MY DEFENSE.. Feixiao was right after him and I needed to save big for her. I also didn’t really have a team suitable for our healer to excel in.. but next time for sure! I’ll bring him home!

Son of a bitch they’re so precious and sweet I wanna scream. It’s a blessing in disguise that this entire goodbye scene wasn’t voiced because if I had to hear all the emotion in their voices for this conversation I would’ve been an even bigger, sobbing mess.

Pfftt, thank you Moze for focusing on the task at hand. We can always count on him to be blunt.

Yeah how about NO. I do not wish to see you guys leave me! I’m holding onto that “for now” with such a tight grip. Y’all better return sooner rather than later, you hear me??

I absolutely took my time taking photos of them. I love ‘em with all my heart and can’t wait to see them more in future arcs.. as long as nothing else bad happens. Surely my devotion shall protect them from any troublesome plot! You hear me, Hoyo? Only wholesome and heartwarming stuff from here on out!

I am kinda bummed Huaiyan turned out to be nothing but a unique looking npc. He might not have been a character I might’ve pulled for if he was playable, but he would’ve definitely had some cool combat animations I’m sure.

I know I’ve said it somewhere before, whether in a post of my own or in comments, but Fu Xuan is probably my least favorite character. I just.. don’t vibe with her at all. I dunno. With that said, I didn’t mind that she was practically absent from these entire last two patches. So yes, I called her sassy, lost and short.

Astral Express parents showing up fashionably late to the party. Ya think a black hole or orbital laser could’ve destroyed Hoolay’s blood moon? We shall never know. I do wonder how their own task with those fossils and Ruan Mei turned out though. That’s something I’m looking forward to hearing more about, especially since Yaoguang mentioned at the end of the 2.5 story that our mad scientist has just boarded the Luofu too.

Huzzah, the end~ Much less serious this time around but at least we’re finally done. I wasn’t a huge fan of the Xianzhou during our initial trip here during the story, but these last two updates were some of my favorites for sure. (and I promise it’s not only because of my Yaoqing trio bias)

#honkai star rail #jing yuan #feixiao #jiaoqiu #moze #gameplay #revs rambles

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bam-bi-buck · 2 months ago

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911 8x05 Spoilers

The Han-Wilson family pic 🥺

They’re besties and family

Karen wanting Hen to go trick or treating with them because it’s Mara’s first with them 😭

Speaking of, we know that Mara is back with the Wilsons & that they got their foster license back but have they gotten to adopt her yet? I hope we get to actually see that

Then the haunted house - the 126 (I see what y’all did there 😉)

The Hen & Eddie talk about closed doors 😭 I’m just an aunt and I still get it, they grow up so fast

Love Hen & Chim being scary but not Eddie lol

You didn’t sell it man!

Buck is so good with kids… except on holidays 😭🤣

Called him Billy Boils - I see what y’all are doing there

“Home safe” “Home safe” 🥺

“This is not my fault”

I absolutely agree baby it’s not your fault

The dude with the pumpkin on his head

That family is so sweet 🥹

It’s still a little funny - Chim 🤣

Awww Chim missing Jee’s first trick or treat 😭

“Lube flying in” 🤣

The rotting pumpkin 🤢

Buck getting hurt just as he mentions dumb ways to get hurt 🤕

Eddie being so nonchalant while Tommy’s looking at Buck like 🤨

Stop laughing at my boy! Both of you!!

Karen & Hen’s argument 😭

I get Karen’s frustration

The big moments are important 😭

The sadness in Karen’s voice 😭😭😭

I get what Hen’s saying though, it’s not really fair if only one could get off but I think it would be slightly more fair if it was Chim because then Denny and Mara would have Karen and Jee would have Chim but I get that they’re bffs and wouldn’t feel right doing that to each other 🥺

Buck’s web spiral - the man’s got the ADHD

I really want canon ADHD Buck this season

“Isn’t that how it usually happened?” Really got my mom lol she repeated it like twice

“Evan don’t feel out!”

Like you just did?!? Come on, man you’re a first responder don’t they teach you to tone down your responses? 😭

Defile his corpse seems a bit much

To bad juju? 🤣🤣🤣

Both me and my mom giggled at lot at that

Buck going off while Eddie & Tommy are trying to be rational

You’re gonna lose that $5, Eddie

Maddie’s cat ears 🥰

Josh’s mustache

“The suns down” “Buckle up”

Love the Maddie - Josh Besties

Buck going off on Eddie and staring him DOWN

Eddie grabbing the five before Buck even says he owes him 🤣

Those two scenes together were so funny

I’m surprised Buck wasn’t sent home by Bobby

Omgod the clown car

How many clowns were in that thing?

Did you eat peanuts too? 🤣

The dude calling to say I’m chasing children because they egged my house

What is wrong with you??

DENNY!!!

Denny pushed Mara out of the way 😭

Karen’s trying so hard to be strong

Internal bleeding - god damn it

The soft little “moms” I’m legit crying

Hen freezing and Karen getting her out of it 😭

Karen and Denny are the same blood type 😭

Declan’s, Aisha’s, & Tracie’s acting was heartbreakingly good, my chest actually aches 😭

The field blood transfusion and the upright compressions 😭

Chim’s pain when he says the pulse isn’t registering and the pain in Hen & Karen’s eyes 😭

9-1-1 really said y’all got your laughs now here’s a god damn sucker punch to the gut 🥊

Everyone at the hospital

“This is just my face”

“I wasn’t picking” “you were picking” 🤣

Everyone’s immediate relief, they’re a family your honor 🥹

“I know how to beak the curse”

Eddie’s reaction 🤣

Karen, “I knew that the only reason you didn’t pick up was because you were answering another call”

“This isn’t a curse but a cry for help”

Eddie’s house still being decorated even though Christopher isn’t there

Buck really is so kind but sweetheart don’t join a dead criminal’s posse, please

Tommy: “please lift it”

Me and mama, “oh! Thought you didn’t believe it!”

I’ve missed the voice overs, I hope they continue to do that

Promo: are they trying to put that kid down there without a harness?

#911 abc #911 fox #911 season 8 #911 spoilers #hen wilson #karen wilson #denny wilson #evan buckley #mara driskell #chimney Han #jee yun buckley han #eddie diaz #maddie han #christopher diaz #bobby nash #athena grant #josh russo

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kiarabanetmi · 11 months ago

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Hazbin Hotel: Episode 4 Discussion

I’m here to discuss my opinion in the controversey/arguments/backlash regarding episode 4, specifically the lack of trigger warnings and the Loser Baby song. If this triggers you or you do not want spoilers please keep scrolling and have a good day.

So brief overview before the episode: this episode dealt with SERIOUSLY dark topics that made my stomach turn, through Angel Dust and his servitude to Val. He’s an abused, trapped victim in a horrendously horrifying situation, one that many people in the real world are stuck in or have experienced. And there are very real S/A moments in the episode, specifically during the BDSM filming scene and the throughout the rest of the Poison sequence. (Please note, as a person who has lightly participated in BDSM and is constantly trying to learn it, KNOW THIS IS NOT TRUE BDSM! BDSM involved safety in losing one self, with a TRUSTED PARTNER/S and a safety system in place so all parties can be comfortable, secure and SAFE and not judged for stoping). And the fact that there was no trigger warning other than a 18+ rating is actually very troubling. Amazon, get your ass in heat and give a trigger warning on this episode! This is a legitimate concern.

This scene is haunting. And it did its job well. We see behind Angel’s facade, how he had learned to survive the abuse and r*pe he suffers from Valentino and who he’s forced to have sex with for him. And we also see he’s still a good person under it. He knows his situation is fucked and tried to keep Charlie away for her own safety and tried to protect her from Val as well.

Then he goes home and starts to self destruct. Husk was right. I’ve self destructed for different mental health reasons and even though my actions and way of self destructing is different from Angel’s, the mindset is the same. He’s been through hell that day, and the facade he put up is being criticized and put down by Husker. His safely net is being taken criticized and invalidated (even if it’s not healthy but just the best thing he can do in this unwinnable situation).

The the bar scene and the confrontation happens, as well as Loser Baby. The main critiques I see are these:

One: Husker is trying to compare his situation to Angel’s, which is “inappropriate and callous”. I mean, angel is S/A’rd for hours on end by strange men and Val daily/weekly and Husker is just indebted to Alastor right? There’s no comparison. Well that’s wrong for two reasons in my eyes. Firstly, we haven’t seen what Husker goes through with Alastor. What does Alastor have Husker do? Could he force Husk to do things, awful things, like Val does to Angel, just differently? We don’t know. But he doesn’t have control of his own life due to his own choice and situation, just like Angel. Second, I don’t think not trying to compare his situation to Angel’s, he’s trying to relate to him. Notice how Husk only tells Angel about his past AFTER Angel actually breaks down and tells him about how he tries to escape and hope to break enough that Val will get tired and let him go. That was the TRUTH, so Husk responded in kind. He’s not trying to compare his experience. Angel was finally honest; so tired and in so much pain he couldn’t keep up the facade and showed the truth. Just like Husk wanted. And in return for that honesty, the honest Husk kept telling and telling Angel to be, Husker opened up himself and shared him pain and past. (Also the fact that Husk was an Overlord is so fascinating and I hope it’s given more background information at some point! What he an Overload of gambling? Did he own his own Casino or business? What was his “department” or “specialty?”)

Second: Husker is telling Angel to “suck it up and accept his situation as hopeless,” and just punching Angel while he’s down. That’s not the situation at all, at least in my point of view. Remember, Angel is used to people complimenting him on his looks and videos by sick and greedy fucks or just being beaten and told he’s worthless by Val through physical, sexual, and verbal abuse. So what makes Husker calling Angel a loser any different? The fact that Husk is saying he’s a loser as well. He’s no longer seeing himself as better than Angel, or at least better than the facade Angel puts up. He’s also including himself in the saying. He’s saying “you’re a loser, and so am I.” He’s not saying “I’m better than you” or “suck it up, it’s hopeless so suck it up and accept your fate.” He’s bonding with Angel in the fact that they are both in shitty, fucked up situations (ones both of them chose: you have to WILLINGLY offer/bet your own soul) and instead of being fake with each other, they can open up to each other and understand each other. Val calls Angel a loser because he sees himself as better, and sees Angel as his property, and due to the soul contract he is. No one else calls Angel a loser cause he’s one of the most famous and valuable pornstars and assets in hell. Husker calling Angel a loser is to make him see that they’re alike and Husker is being brutally honest for the right reason. He’s right they are losers. Both of them are indebted to psychos who literally hold their lives in their hands. They have no autonomy and no way out and were there due to their own choices. (This does NOT mean they deserve what they get! And this does NOT mean that what Val does to Angel ok! It will NEVER BE OK!)

Three: everything is resolved after the song and we’re supposed to believe it’s all better? The song solved nothing right? It’s just fluffy bullshit shipping fodder to distract and devalue the hell Angel went through not even ten minutes ago. Well yes and no. It didn’t solve Angel’s situation at all, not even close. There’s still no idea as to how to free Angel from Val or make his situation better. And Angel will still have to go back to Valentino and be abused by him and those he has to work with. It doesn’t solve Angel’s plight. But that’s not the point. This song is supposed to be a turning point, even if it’s a small one. Until this point, Angel had only acted in his armor facade around husk, and Husk hasn’t bought it or even liked it. He said as much multiple times. At this moment, during this song, Angel and Husk finally begin to see eye to eye, and that they can be someone real to each other (the extent of that relationship will be explored down the line I’m sure), but they’re not immediately best friends or anything. It’s a start. And Angel realizes that while also having Charlie in his corner despite her severely bad attempt at helping on the porn set, he also sees that Husk is also someone who is like him and he can relate to. When you finally find someone who has been through a similar he’ll you’ve been through in a horrible situation, it does feel good. It makes you less alone. And when you are less alone you can start building a better foundation to become stronger.

These are just my POV on the episode. If you don’t agree with anything I said then that’s fine. I was just sharing my own opinion. And that’s what it is, an opinion. Not everyone is entitled to feel the same way I do. If this episode makes you hate the show now and you don’t feel comfortable watching anymore then that’s fine. This show has a very specific audience. My father and mother and some of my friends would never watch this show for various reasons, and that’s fine.

Hope you’ll share how you felt about the episode.

I may also make another post later about Poison and how some of the lines actually can relate to all forms of abuse, even domestic abuse and not just S/A.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin angel dust #hazbin hotel spoilers #hazbin hotel S/A scene #trigger warning #tw s/a #s/a mention #huskerdust #angel dust #husker hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel poison #Hazbin hotel loser baby #hazbin hotel valentino

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iustitians · 21 days ago

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ooc; headcanons - on Neuvillette's abilities, power, combat ability and fighting style

Ah yes, hello, it’s me again. The person who can’t shut up about an old man with a jabot who's also a dragon.

So I’ve wanted to talk about Neuvillette’s combat ability and style as well as his power for a while now, both to chat about some of my headcanons and theories for some of them, and to just kind of sort them out for myself. This is going to be a whole lot of rambling (by which I mean 8 Google Doc pages), so proceed at your own risk. Fontaine and Natlan Archon Quest spoilers below.

Combat prowess

So here’s a fun thing for me to start with: I don’t think Neuvillette is that great in a fight. Which I feel like many don’t think about at first, but actually makes sense when you consider his life, or what we know of it at least. Dude’s essentially a divine judge. Mostly dwelling in the seas without a purpose for who knows how long, and then running human trials and doing paperwork for 500 years. Where would this guy have gained any substantial battle experience?

Throughout the Fontaine AQ, we see him in combat situations three times. The first time is at the end of Act II, where Childe is about to go bonkers in the Opera, only for Neuvillette to jump in and oneshot him. Which looked impressive and all – except we shouldn’t forget that Neuvillette caught Childe off-guard from above and behind while he was mid-transformation, and broke through his defenses with sheer power, not necessarily skill. I highly doubt it would have gone like this had Childe had a chance to prepare. Neuvillette didn’t walk out of that one unscathed either, receiving a scratch from Childe during the very brief struggle they had. And as an extra note, I can’t help but look back at the moment in the cutscene where he looked at his own blood with what looked like both anger and surprise - it very much gave off the vibe of someone who isn’t used to being hurt.

The second combat situation was his first encounter with the Narwhal, which… when you think back to it, he essentially lost that one, didn’t he? It shrugged off his attack, shattered his protective barrier like glass, and would have devoured the people he attempted to protect had it not been for Childe’s intervention. Neuvillette was only able to deliver a decisive hit after Childe attacked and distracted it, causing it to turn its back to him and allowing him to unleash a powerful blow when he was prepared, undisturbed, and at a safe distance. It wasn’t exactly his best showing.

And it really was the only time we’ve actually seen him straight up actively participating in combat, because the third time to mention is the Fontaine AQ’s final battle against the Narwhal. Except the thing is… Neuvillette doesn’t really fight in that battle. We do. He supports us from the sidelines, separating the Primordial Sea’s power from the whale and sharing his power with us.

So really, he’s been in an on-screen combat situation once and, arguably, lost. Great.

… Of course, I’m not saying he’s weak. The first two situations I mentioned were with his Authority shattered, and nowadays may have been a different story. And even before he was restored, his power was very formidable. It’s just that power doesn’t have to equal combat ability – and the latter I do believe he lacks.

In fact, we can even extend this logic to him as a playable unit. He’s a very powerful DPS, which is great and all, but when you look at it more closely, you realize that he really doesn’t do much. I’ll discuss his fighting style a bit later, but he has exactly one trick up his sleeve: the Hydro Pump. When people criticize Neuvillette as a unit, the main point brought up is that he is boring – and honestly, however much I love him, I can see some players feeling that way, because… yeah, that’s all he does. He floats in the air and waterboards his enemies from a distance, overwhelming them with sheer power, while requiring little skill to use. He is incapable of anything more fancy than that. He’s a gorgeous, majestic and powerful one-trick pony.

And again, it all makes sense when you consider who he is and what kind of life he has led. He’s not a warrior, he’s an official – whether a Fontaine one, or a divine draconic one – who only displays his power as a last resort, in a way meant to end whatever strife is threatening peace and stability once and for all. He is not meant to engage in long combat, he’s probably just about never done it, and in that sense it’s normal that he actually doesn’t really know how.

Power level

… But as I said, combat prowess and power level are two different things, which can make answering the question of how strong someone like Neuvillette complicated. Because on the other hand, for his lack of combat experience and skill, his sheer power level is through the damn roof. Which of course makes sense. This is a Dragon Sovereign, now with his full power reforged, that we’re talking about here. Possibly the most powerful being we’ve met in Teyvat so far, and for sure at least one of them.

For those who are caught up with Natlan’s Archon Quest, you know how Mavuika destroyed the wacky Abyssal thing and also punched a hole in the sky in the process? Well, she said later that the power with which she did it came from the Divine Throne. And an Archon’s Divine Throne is where the stolen Dragon Sovereign Authority is held. So in other words, Mavuika did what she did using a fragment of the power Neuvillette now holds in its entirety. So yes, I do in fact believe he can also punch a hole in the sky. I don't think he can completely destroy it, because it seems to restore itself, but also I think he wouldn't want to even if he could, since he has grown to care about and appreciate humanity, and he knows that the firmament protects it.

But in addition to that, let's not forget that this guy:

Turned an entire nation of unfinished Oceanid people into fully fledged humans with a single Super Duper Charged Attack – doing in the process what Egeria was literally incapable of – and wasn’t even slightly tired afterwards

Hands out Visions because he decided he wants to, and unlike the Archons, has full control over the process

Has full control over Pneumousia, which is essentially a latent type of life force. Not only is he using it to singlehandedly battery all of Fontaine now, but also I mean. Combining them can lead to an annihilation reaction, so… idk I guess he can also make an atomic bomb if he wants??

Doesn’t even need a constellation because he exists outside of the fate system but then decided “ah whatever why not” and got one, then proceeded to?? reshape it I think?? so his daughters can have fun with it?? Peak dad behavior right there but also what the fu

Of course, there’s the whole part about how the Hydro Sovereign has full control over the Primordial Sea, which makes him essentially Teyvat’s original “God of Life”. I attribute his ability to turn Oceanids into true humans to that connection, as well as his control over Pneumousia, as, again, from what we know of it so far (which is not much but that’s a rant for later) it seems to be a sort of latent type of life energy. Of course, I can only imagine that he could do a LOT more with it than what we’ve seen. And on the topic of Oceanids, I’ve also noticed that he seems to hold authority over them as well, considering how easily he made them back down during Navia’s “trial”.

Basically what I’m trying to say here is that he’s freakin’ powerful and writing him in a way that avoids turning him into an ultra strong Gary Stu sort of guy can be a hell of a challenge sometimes lmao. I try to get around it with the idea that he has to load up Fontaine on a sufficient amount of power before he leaves and surely that has to weaken him at least a bit.

Fighting style, symbolism and other funky tidbits

As I mentioned earlier, Neuvillette doesn’t fight much, and when he does, he doesn’t really do much either. In fact, he actually literally barely moves. This includes his Normal Attack chain – not only is it among the shortest in the game with only three strikes (in comparison to characters well-versed in combat such as Wriothesley and Zhongli, whose chains consist of 5 and 6 strikes respectively), but also he practically doesn’t move from the spot he was standing on while performing it. Many characters will charge forwards or move backwards while attacking; Neuvillette takes about half a step. That’s it.

Other than that, there are four main characteristic to him in combat:

Cane

Glowing and expanding his… let’s call it fins

Floating

Triquetra

Neuvillette’s cane is the most interesting element of those to me, because it seems to be his actual catalyst. It’s interesting when you notice that he only summons his in-game weapon for his Normal Attack chain – which is, by a long shot, the most worthless part of his kit. For all his other, much more useful moves, he does not manifest it at all. He does, however, use or at least hold his cane for all of them, and the gem and blue ornaments on it glow as he does.

This applies to cutscenes, as well. When using a Charged Attack during a cutscene, he also holds his cane, summoning it specifically for that moment. It’s especially interesting in the cutscene where he and Childe fight the Narwhal, and the exact frame where he uses Equitable Judgment is the only moment in that entire cutscene where he holds his cane. He doesn’t have it immediately before or immediately after, and yet he went out of his way to summon it specifically for that attack – which leads me to believe that this cane is his real catalyst.

At the moment my idea for it is that in his human form, the Hydro Dragon is something of a staff user, and this cane is how he adapted its appearance to fit into Fontaine’s setting, much as he did with his own.

Glowing is another commonly seen aspect for Neuvillette in combat. When he uses his power, he glows. As a playable unit, he lights up when using his Burst and Equitable Judgment, as well as when his passive ability is fully charged up (so basically when he’s at max power). Notably, and I actually only recently noticed it, not only do the light blue elements on his outfit glow, but so do his eyes.

And again, the glowing is something the animators went out of their way to include in the cutscenes. When he takes down Childe in Fontaine AQ Act II, he lights up before leaping from his seat. In the All-Devouring Narwhal cutscene he also glows and surrounds himself with blue aura while attacking, and in addition, if we look closely, we can see his eyes glowing as he charges for his first strike. It’s an interesting small detail that’s very easy to miss – I only saw it properly while watching that cutscene in slow motion. In general, all of his attacks have a natural glow to them as well. Overall it gives him a sort of divine feel, which I consider to be the point.

For certain attacks, in particular Charged Attack: Equitable Judgment and his Burst, Neuvillette also expands his horns (at least that’s what I call them because I hate that we are never given a word for the thingies on his head) and his… I guess tail?? Whatever the case may be, he displays them when unleashing his power and promptly hides them immediately afterwards, as a bit of a reminder that his true form remains hidden to our eyes.

Then there’s the floating. I kind of don’t have much to say about this one, the ability to levitate seems to be a common one among Teyvat’s deities and other powerful entities. Local man is too cool to walk like a normal person. My only observation to it is that floating seems to come very naturally to him, as during all his attacks (minus the Normal Attack chain which as I said no one cares about) his feet very quickly and easily separate from the ground, as opposed to some other characters who we know can float but who still remain firmly grounded in combat. Again, it ties back to how he is not at all expressive or aggressive in his movements during battle, but rather intends to simply overwhelm his enemies with his sheer power and authority.

And finally we have the triquetra, aka the emblem he commonly uses. It’s the mark he summons for Equitable Judgment, as well as during cutscenes. Its meaning is largely symbolic.

This one is both extremely interesting and very funny to me because, well… IRL, triquetra has major religious significance in multiple cultures. It can mean many things and is used in various belief systems, including christianity, where it symbolizes none other than the Holy Trinity. Which is actually pretty accurate for Neuvillette considering his role in the story – the original creator and guardian of life, and the judge of all who condemns or pardons everyone’s sins.

The triquetra also flashes above his head when you switch to him in your party, and the intensity of the flash as well as the sound effect it makes when appearing become more intense with each stack of his passive. The more stacks he has, the more the sound resembles a church bell – also heard during his Elemental Burst, as well as the music for his trailer video, which overall sounds almost like a religious hymn (well. once you take out the dubstep moments lmao), complete with the organs, bells and a choir singing in Latin. It all plays into his symbolism of a divine judge, and in a way, it also shows that he very much implements trials into combat. He fights for justice, by bringing justice.

… But it’s also kind of hilarious considering Neuvillette also references the biblical Leviathan of all things, with his constellation named after it and his character introduction (he who looks down on all that are haughty) literally quoting the Bible. And the symbolism of him looking down on sinners is also very much visible in his media, with how often he is seen literally glaring down on people – between his art, his Elemental Burst, his and Clorinde’s teasers and many moments in the game’s story, he is very often shown deliberately from an angle that has him looking at others and judging them from above. He himself also comments on that, saying that this is part of what keeps him separated from those around him and unable to bond with and understand them.

How tf they put Jesus and the Leviathan into the same person and made it work is beyond me but it’s kind of amazing and honestly I love it.

List of currently known abilities

This is page 6 of this damn Google Doc so I’m gonna try to be brief here, but I wanted to also compile for myself the things we’ve seen Neuvillette do.

Full control over Hydro

Well, duh. In short, now that his power is fully restored, Neuvillette has full and complete control over the Hydro element. In lore, anyway, as this is where we have to implement separation between lore and gameplay (such as his ability to drown outside of Fontaine or inability to casually OHKO enemies by stopping their blood from flowing, just to name a few). In lore, his control over both regular water would be near absolute. Under this power is also where he categorizes his ability to turn Oceanids into true humans by granting them proper “blood”, so this is also where we put his potential power to create life, as his power over water includes the Primordial Sea – his connection to which he is now fully aware of now that his Authority is back. (This may be demonstrated by how the pattern inside Sourcewater Droplets kind of resembles DNA strands, symbolism also used by the boss enemy inside the body of Apep, another Dragon Sovereign.) Of course it also means that he is a fantastic swimmer, and can breathe underwater, both in and outside of Fontaine in lore.

Hydro resonance

Neuvillette is known to have extreme sensitivity to the Hydro element and the movements of water. Sigewinne states that he knew of the crisis in the Fortress before we ever told him due to sensing the waves when the water level rose, and during “The Wild Fairy of Erinnyes” we also learn that he was able to sense trouble at Loch Urania by resonating with water there (yes, Neuvillette is the “visitor” Pahsiv speaks of). He appears to be able to read the memories and information contained within water at will, even from a distance, allowing him to learn about trouble within his territory in an instant. This is also where we’d categorize his ability to taste emotions and impurities in water, distinguishing the history of what it had gone through by coming in contact with or drinking it.

Emotional resonance

One of Fontaine’s plot points is that water carries emotions, especially particularly strong ones, and by resonating with water, Neuvillette can read them and search for extra information that way. This one gives him trouble, however, as between literally sensing the emotions of all of Fontaine at once, and his own limited understanding of emotions, it’s very overwhelming for him to do, leaving him rather shaken afterwards. For that reason he doesn’t do it more than necessary and deliberately suppresses it on a daily basis. He can also sense the emotions of others just in general, as mentioned in both his and Arlecchino’s character stories, but with emotions being fickle things that he doesn’t really understand, it’s more than possible to mislead him, as both Vautrin and Arlecchino successfully hide the truth of their emotional state from him.

Causing rain

Not gonna yap about this here because I already have.

Control over Pneumousia

This one makes me rage because of how woefully underdeveloped it is and the way it’s literally mentioned in one sentence just to go “oh yeah Fontaine’s energy crisis is solved now” and never brought up again, but. Yeah. I’ve mentioned it earlier already, but Neuvillette has control over Pneumousia now that his Authority is fully restored, allowing him to serve as Fontaine’s current power source. Again, lore and gameplay separation, because it should probably also technically mean that he could avoid fighting rogue Gardemeks by just turning them off, but it is what it is.

Distribution of Hydro Visions

I know some people (including characters in the game) have wondered whether Visions are distributed by the governor of a nation or of an element. With Neuvillette now granting Visions, I consider the latter to be officially the case, because I don’t see how he would hand out Visions other than Hydro. In any case, yeah. He is now the one giving out Hydro Visions, having chosen to do so out of respect for humans, with the first Vision we’ve seen him grant going to Furina – characterized by allowing her to control both Pneuma and Ousia, and by the little claws seen on it, proving that it was given by a dragon. I consider his criteria for granting someone a Vision to be fairly similar to the Archons, where someone’s wish or ambition has to reach his Throne in a way that inspires him to respond, with the main difference being that he is aware and in control of the process. I like that his character story compares this to a dragon’s treasure hoard, except you don’t need to steal anything from him – you receive a reward just for reaching him.

Creating seals and barriers

We’ve seen him do it twice, because in my personal headcanon, the seal he created at the bottom of the Fortress and the shield he attempted to use against the Narwhal are more or less the same type of power, and the ease with which the whale shattered his barrier is something of a display of just how powerful that thing had become by absorbing the power of the Primordial Sea. But yeah, not much more to say here, he knows Protect.

Teleportation

… And he also apparently knows Teleport. We’ve only seen him do it once, in the Narwhal cutscene, where really he could have just jumped off, but he warped to I guess look cool. We know nothing more about this ability of his, in my personal headcanon I imagine he only warps across short distances when necessary and on a daily basis prefers to swim or walk.

The part where he did Something to his own constellation

idk what to put here lmao. Look. He is a god who exists outside of the Heavenly Principles’ rules and basically does as he pleases because Screw Those Guys. He doesn’t even need a constellation, due to being free of Celestia’s system of fate, which the fake sky’s stars are being used to control. But since he found his calling, “the skies had left a special, ennobled place for him”, with his constellation actually being a reflection of his own image, the same as the Traveler and the Archons. And then the guy went and either reshaped it or made himself a fake one?? Because a constellation reflecting its owner’s visage can’t be used to read their fortune in astrological charts (something we know from Mona) and some Melusines are into that. Again, as I said earlier, peak dad behavior but also What.

—

I think – and sincerely hope – that I talked about everything I wanted to and didn’t forget anything. Surely 8 Google Doc pages are enough yapping.

If you made it to the end, congrats and I’m sorry (but also not really) for being insane.

#✦ ooc.#✦ headcanons.#good lord #this was so MUCH like. I'm glad I compiled this in one place by my god #this probably is far from everything because we've actually only seen a fraction of what he can do #there's so much we still don't know about him I mean for fuck's sake we still don't know his NAME #and we know that the “Neuvillette” persona is fake #so like. I'm both looking forward and also very afraid to see what happens next and how much of this holds #anyway it was fun and also exhausting #again if you read all this congratulations #I need a therapist

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redaliveviolation · 7 months ago

Text

SPOILERS FOR BATMAN 148!!

Am I a bad person for laughing when I heard that Jason got killed off again? No, here’s why and how I think he should die instead:

This is gonna be a long one so strap in folks. I have sort of been cherry picking this whole run just because the writing has been so wishy washy, so much so that it’s genuinely made me lose an interest in DC. Comics lately have been pulling the weirdest things just for shock value, because they can’t write a half decent story line or character anymore. Their characters will have some growth and then it immediately gets destroyed a couple of issues later.

I’m sure you’ve heard it before (because we all agree) but there’s no real consequences in comics anymore. Characters get killed off at the end of an issue just for them to be revived within a few issues or if we’re going with Batman 148, literally the next one. There’s no legitimate stakes because everything that happens gets “fixed.” Tim gets shot through the throat? Eh he’ll be fine, he can walk it off and be up and running within an issue or two. Bruce starts acting erratic/insane (again)? Oh don’t worry it’s not actually Bruce it’s his alternate personality Zur-En-Arrh. Which, side note, is the stupidest fucking name/concept I’ve seen in a while, truly baffling.

Honestly, the only part of the run that I’ve seen so far that’s even a little bit interesting is Bruce literally changing Jason’s brain chemistry so that whenever adrenaline hits he has a fear response so bad it shuts him down. Let’s start off with, hey Bruce what the fuck? If he’s had a machine that can legitimately rewire a person’s brain in that way to make him incapable of killing, why in the world would you not use it on the rogues? And yes, I understand that some of them either don’t react to fear, embrace it, don’t care etc etc but if you have the technology to change their brain whos to say you can’t make that machine do whatever you want? It doesn’t have to be specifically fear. Maybe force their motor neurons to not respond whenever they experience an adrenaline rush so they physically cannot move and kill their prey. Moralistically, it’s not the most correct, obviously, but that’s just an example of an extreme. There’s a lot more acceptable things it could be used for and Batman never does. Having that as a plot point makes no sense logically when applying it to Bruce in any way. Even though he’s been written as straight up brain dead these last few years based on his decisions, Bruce is a very smart man and could absolutely find both a morally correct and smart/safe option using the machine. It doesn’t even make sense for him to have it seeing as he would have used it already and cut down on about half of his Gotham related problems. “Oh, but red! That would mean that we’d have to get rid of the Joker because the machine would have taken care of him.” GOOD, I’m sick of his ass, there are so many better rogues to pick from as a new arch enemy. The Joker is bland, predictable, and I could not give less of a fuck about him, he’s not compelling in any way.

Secondly, as fucked up as it is it could actually (unfortunately, I don’t like giving them any credit nowadays) be an insanely good way to kill off Jason and make it stick. Or, at least I think they should make it stick because again, actions have consequences and comics need to go back to that. Anyways, to sum it up it would most likely send Jason into cardiac arrest. The sympathetic nervous system (SNS) controls both the adrenaline and fear responses the machine would be “regulating.” The SNS triggers the fight/flight response and sends epinephrine (adrenaline) throughout the body, elevating heart rate and blood pressure. As soon as higher levels of epinephrine are produced the machine will kick on the fear response to “suppress” this, but instead of shutting off the flow of epinephrine and/or producing acetylcholine to lower heart rate, when the fear response is kicked into motion even more epinephrine will flood the system. It becomes a never ending cycle fueling itself, never ending fear. Your heart working that hard and fast for such an extended period of time would absolutely give out on you.

Personally, I think that would be an insane wake up call to everyone but for this he would need to stay dead and to stay dead for a while. As in several years at least. As stated earlier, long term consequences do not exist in DC (or at least Batman) comics anymore, everything gets turned around with not great writing or retconned or generally not accepted as canon. But a death like this would mean something. It wouldn’t just be death for shock value, it would be Jason Todd, one of Batman’s alleged greatest mistakes being put down like a dog and Bruce having to live with it. How would Bruce’s morals shift and change because of his death? Would he reconsider how he deals with rogues, would he retire, would he leave? How would his children react and retaliate? How would the rogues react seeing Batman inadvertently cause the death of his child in his pursuit of Justice?

The effect of Jason’s death was extremely significant on many characters and their development the first time it occurred, would it be more or less so this time? So many routes to pursue, it’s a horrifying concept when you think about how it would actually affect Jason which is why they’re never going to do anything about it. If you’re going to use a character death as a plot point it has to actually mean something, not a mindless death that’ll be cured quickly and with an incredibly inane line of “I’ve had practice dying.” Wow, you’re so original. I’m pretty sure I read that in some b-rated fic by a 14 year old two years ago. Also, maybe stop acting like Jason is the only one who has died and that he’s the most special because of it? Outside of Tim (because he’s never legit died in canon, only offshoots) practically everyone else in the family has died at one point. His personality is not just his death. It’s irritating and it’s poor writing.

TLDR: I’m right, DC’s wrong and their writing is shit. If Jason dies it needs to have an actual literary purpose and it needs to stick for it to mean anything.

#jason todd dc #jason red hood #jason todd red hood #jason todd robin #jason todd #red hood comics #red hood dc #red hood #bruce wayne #bruce wayne batman #the batman #batman comics #batman #batman 148 #failsafe

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