#( wow man they can do art better than me ://// )

[httpsserene]

𝐡𝐨𝐛𝐛𝐲 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐫 | 𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐨

summary: nobody can keep up with your growing list of hobbies, except fernando.

pairing: fernando alonso x brazilian!fem!reader

content warning: fluff and humor. explicit language.

from, serene: requested by and written for @loomiscorpse 🤍 i promised that i would write this for you in july and i finally found the time to fulfill it! this is how i learned fernando has a back tat. what rock have i been living under? happy reading, babes xxx

(in case i'm m.i.a., there's a category 5 hurricane that's looks pretty serious. i'm probably going to have a power outage. prayers to anyone else in the path of the storm, evacuate if you're on the west coast, and stay safe.)

⌕ join taglist | upcoming chapters | table of contents ↻

igstory • yourinstagram just uploaded!

[caption1; sip and paint with the ladies 👩🏽‍🎨🎨 carmenmmundt kellypiquet][caption2; for my first painting, this is good right?]

alexandrasaintmleux: i'll put it in a gallery 🤩 alexandrasaintmleux: i can't believe i'm friends with the best artist of our time 😌 yourinstagram: alex pleaseee omg 😳🤭 yourinstagram: you realize that means you think i'm better than claude monet right ? alexandrasaintmleux: ,,,second best artist of our time yourinstagram: 😆😆😆

fernandoalo_official: looks beautiful 😍 yourinstagram: you really think so??? fernandoalo_official: yes i like what you did with the colors and brush strokes of course yourinstagram: what detailed compliments meu bem 😂

carmenmmundt: i still don't believe that you've never painted before 🤨 carmenmmundt: you did so well !!!!!! yourinstagram: thank you my love 🥰 yourinstagram: i think i am going to keep painting. it was very fun! carmenmmundt: you should! you're quite good at it :)

instagram • yourinstagram

liked by heidiberger_, fernandoalo_official, francisca.cgomes and 101,723 others

yourinstagram encontro noturno em cores 🖼️

view comments

user1: ptbr to eng translation "date night in color 🖼️"

user2: wow!!! you improved so much already! have you been taking lessons?

➥ yourinstagram: thank you! the only lessons i'm learning are from youtube haha ➥ yourinstagram: and i have painted every day since i started! ➥ user3: you definitely have a natural talent for this! and a lot of potential!!! ➥ user4: it's taken me years to develop a minimal understanding of color theory and shadows. she's done it in two weeks 😕

user5: i know leonardo hates that he didn't paint this 😩😩😩

➥ user6: he's rolling in his grave for sureeee 🙂‍↕️ ➥ user7: bitch why tf would a ninja turtle be mad about this ☠️ ➥ user8: leonardo DA VINCI YOU UNEDUCATED CUR ➥ user7: my fault forgot the turtle wasn't the only person named leo 🫣🫠 ➥ user8: HOW DO YOU FORGET THE MAN WHO PAINTED THE MONA LISA ⁉️⁉️⁉️

pepemartiofficial: i loved doing art in school! i can teach you a few things if you want 😁😁😁

➥ yourinstagram: you mean primary school? which was like last year for you? i think i'll pass garoto 🥴 ➥ fernandoalo_official: josep maria marti sobrepepa don't piss me off. ➥ fernandoalo_official: test me and you can say goodbye to a formula one seat. ➥ user9: ain't no way pepe just tried to step to fernando's girl who's TEN !!! years older than him ➥ pepemartiofficial: shhh i can be mature for her 🤤 ➥ fernandoalo_official: count your days 🥱

carlossainz55: the painting is really good, you made the water look so realistic!

➥ yourinstagram: obrigada carlitos! ➥ carlossainz55: where's fernando's painting 😈 ➥ yourinstagram: it was very good! but he did not want me to post a photo of it :((( ➥ fernandoalo_official: it was very ugly carlos 🙄 ➥ yourinstagram: it was not that bad i just could not tell that it was supposed to be a tiger and not a house cat that was struck by lightning 😅 ➥ carlossainz55: i will pay to see this painting 🤣🤣🤣

twitter

igstory • astonmartinf1 just uploaded!

[caption1; admin was just forcibly handed bear coasters ??? she said they remind her of lance 🐻][caption2; the crochet culprit is on to her next project!]

user: lance bear agenda still going strong 💪

lance_stroll: i want bear coasters 😞 astonmartinf1: meet me downstairs, she gave me extras to hand out to the team lance_stroll: she's the best 🤩🤩🤩 lance_stroll: see you in 5?

user: DUDE she's onto clothes already??? how?!!!

user: admin i need you to send me photos of that sketchbook 👺🤲🏻 user: i need her patterns admin i'm not playing around astonmartinf1: lol get blocked loser 💀

instagram • fernandoalo_official

liked by carlossainz55, lance_stroll, yourinstagram and 234,586 others

fernandoalo_official there is yarn and hooks in my car. this has gone too far.

view comments

yourinstagram: you make a man a shirt with the materials HE bought for you and it's a problem. ungrateful behavior nano 😤

➥ fernandoalo_official: the shirt is very nice i even posed for a picture. all i ask is for no hooks to be left in the cupholders? ➥ yourinstagram: can we compromise and i leave them in the glove box 🥺

user10: let me get this straight: you crochet for a month and suddenly you become a fashion designer?

➥ yourinstagram: not a month, three weeks* i have been crocheting ➥ user11: oh fuck off- how are you good at everything 😩😩😩 ➥ yourinstagram: i am not! and i still cannot make a granny square no matter how hard i try to ☹️ ➥ user12: you don't need to know how to make a granny square when you can make actual pieces of clothing!!!

landonorris: may i have something crocheted too?

➥ yourinstagram: what would you like landinho 😊 ➥ landonorris: may i have a beanie? or a sweater?? ➥ georgerussell: ooooh i'd like a beanie too! ➥ francisca.cgomes: i want that top you're wearing! or something similar!!!! ➥ lance_stroll: what about earmuffs? ➥ lilymhe: a cardigan would be so nice ➥ charlesleclerc: i want a sweater!!! ➥ fernandoalo_official: leave her alone you greedy children 👹 ➥ yourinstagram: ignore him! text me what you all want with inspiration photos and i will let you know!!!

messages • sebastian -> fernando

igstory • yourinstagram just uploaded!

[caption1; hobby update >>>][caption2; to the woman at the craft store who put me onto oil paints...you saved my life][caption3; the wag crochet requests are almost finished!][caption4; first pottery class! had a really fun time :)]

user: i-i need to sit down👄 user: how do you even have time to do all of this?

user: i feel like i've never taken my hobbies seriously after seeing this

user: ffs how long have you been doing pottery? user: it's hard to learn at first but it's worth it if you stay committed 🫶🏽

instagram • yourinstagram

liked by charlesleclerc, lilymhe, francolapinto, and 192,037 others

yourinstagram que divertido! thrown, painted, and fired by me 🌸

view comments

user13: this is a reminder that there's always somebody out there doing what you love better than you 😒

➥ user14: wasn't she JUST at her first pottery class? and she already has a set of dishware 😨

user15: i feel like i have to apologize for even attempting pottery

user16: i would hate to give my gift after her on birthdays and christmas 😬😬😬

➥ user17: valid take. she can make custom clothes, paintings, and ceramics??? i might as well not even show up 🤦🏻‍♀️

kellypiquet: where do you even find the time to do this?

➥ yourinstagram: i have not slept for more than five hours in a very long time. it also distracts me when nano is away so, i keep myself busy. ➥ kellypiquet: please take better care of yourself! the clay will be there after you sleep and i'm sure fernando would like you to sleep too. ➥ fernandoalo_official: 8 hours at least mi amor ❤️ ➥ yourinstagram: fiiiiine 😞

lance_stroll: bring the domino set next time! i want to learn how to play!!!

➥ yourinstagram: i will make you cry if we play dominoes 🤫

user18: you need to start an etsy shop or smth? i think anybody would buy something from you!

➥ yourinstagram: if i do that, i'm afraid it would stop being a hobby and become a job. i don't want to lose the love i have for them :) user19: you could do limited releases? or just list a few items at a time? yourinstagram: i guess that's true. i don't think i will though, i didn't start my hobbies to make money. it's just fun for me 😁

twitter

igstory • fernandoalo_official just uploaded!

[caption; onto the next obsession]

user: damn you didn't lie about the entire botantical collection 😧 user: she's crazy user: i respect her grind though

user: and she made them look like actual boquets 😍 user: why didn't i think of that???

yourinstagram: they are not obsessions. yourinstagram: the proper term is hobby, we have talked about this nano 😒 fernandoalo_official: do you want the vespa or the bonsai…🤨 yourinstagram: both por favor! and get the porsche 911 kit while you are there 😚😚😚😚😚😚

user: she crocheted her own cover up dress user: i love women 🙂‍↕️

instagram • yourinstagram

liked by fernandoalo_official, kellypiquet, landonorris, and 317,940 others

yourinstagram um hobby? ok. quatro hobbies ao mesmo tempo? não repita meus erros 🤕

view comments

user20: ptbr to eng translation "one hobby? ok. four hobbies at the same time/once? do not repeat my mistakes 🤕"

➥ user21: thank u translator woman ➥ user22: thank u translator woman ➥ gabrielbortoleto_: thank u translator woman ➥ user24: one of these things is not like the others 🧐

landonorris: can't wait till it gets chilly in monaco 😌

➥ landonorris: the only thing i'm going to be photographed in is my crochet beanie and sweater ➥oscarpiastri: i'm surprised you're not wearing it now since you're perpetually cold ➥ landonorris: i didn't want to bring it in my luggage in case it's the time i lose my luggage 🤓 ➥ oscarpiastri: wow…that's smart ➥ landonorris: why do you sound so surprised 🤨

lilymhe: i see you learned how to make granny squares 😆

➥ yourinstagram: it took me three whole days to make one 🤧 ➥ lilymhe: damn 💀 ➥ yourinstagram: i am not lying when i say making that first granny square was harder than making your cardigan 😮‍💨

fernandoalo_official: is it weird if i feel proud of you?

➥ yourinstagram: i think it is something to be proud of :) ➥ fernandoalo_official: well i am very proud of you mi amor 😘 ➥ yourinstagram: 🥰😚😚❤️❤️❤️

user25: those paintings!!!! woah, you're like a serious artist now 😨😳���

➥ user26: fr! you can see her own unique style clearly in these! ➥ yourinstagram: you all are too sweet! it took me a while to switch from reference painting into creating my own art pieces! ➥ alexandrasaintmleux: i wasn't joking when i said i want to put your work in a gallery 🤭🥱 ➥ yourinstagram: alex pleaseee 😖

user28: what are you going to do next? book binding LMAO

➥ yourinstagram: you are right! nano is out buying the supplies for me now 😁 ➥ user28: i was joking 😟 ➥ yourinstagram: and after that i think i am going to learn how to make a cute scrapbook!

© httpsserene - do not repost. photos used are from pinterest.

[auggieblogs]

Love grows | Lando Norris Instagram au

Lando Norris x fem! reader

* ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which Lando and his girlfriend are disgustingly in love (and they are making it everyone's problem)

Author's note: Hello, beautiful people. Hope you all are having a good day/night!!! If you can't tell already I am hopelessly, completely and irretrievably in love with Lando and yes everyone has to hear about it (forgive me for I am insuffreable). Anyways, happy reading<3

―୨୧⋆ ˚masterlist

yn.jpg

liked by landonorris, pierregasly, and 136,801 others

yn.jpg muse.

tagged landonorris and arlo.dawg

comments:

username wow haha I am so normal about them (not)

username bf lando, my beloved

username the way he's looking at her in the second pic???

username I need to lay down username I need to be put down (in a grave) username DEAR GOD I SEE THE THINGS YOU HAVE DONE FOR OTHERS

username I just know Lando is currently giggling and kicking his feet in the air, twirling his hair even

oscarpiastri can confirm

username "muse" GOOD FUCKING BYE

landonorris what do you have to say for yourself, now that I'm crying

I love you I love you I love you *liked by yourusername* I will do anything you for, you're the best thing ever yourusername will you eat sushi with me? landonorris anything for my baby!!!! carlossainz55 damn.

username I want what they have

username love how both arlo and lando can sleep anywhere

username I am sick to my stomach, they are too cute

charles_leclerc Arlo💓💓💓

*liked by landonorris and yourusername*

mclaren we can't have our driver giggling and blushing like a teen girl in the middle of a practice session, y/n🙄

landonorris OH SHUT UP

username bwahhah not the admin exposing Lando😭

yourusername sorry admin, can't help it. He's too pretty😞

username sleepover on the highway it is then

username y/n is better than me because if someone looked at me the way lando looks at her I would physically combust

lando.jpg

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 789,235 others

lando.jpg love grows, where my y/n goes:))

tagged yourusername and yndoesart

comments:

username word.

username never beating the y/n lovebot allegations

username she. is. so. pretty.

username GOD REALLY HAS FAVOURITES HUH

yourusername "my y/n" blushing so hard rn

just fell to my knees in a wallmart parking lot

I will kiss your face. I LOVE YOU

landonorris right back at you, baby (I love you more)

*liked by yourusername*

maxverstappen1 what are you doing in a wallmart parking lot?

username sunshine in human form!!!🌞

username no bc she looks huggable

arlo.dawg mum💞🤭

username man is IN LOVE SHGSSKKSKD

username just stalked her art account, so she's beautiful and incredibly talented????

f1 Great artwork in the first picture👏💯

*liked by landonorris and yourusername*

yourusername awh thank you!!!

landonorris one of my favs actually;)

username crying, screaming, shaking, throwing up, pulling out my hair, bashing my head into the wall & going apeshit

username love how they both are equally whipped for each other

danilericciardo whipped is an understatement

landonorris don't hate us for being in love🙏🏻

username mhmmmm who's joining me for Russian roulette?

username MY Y/N? MY Y/N??? I AM ACTUALLY SOBBING

[pruneunfair]

Ranking every manhwa villainess and white lotus I could find.

Keep in mind these are all opinion based.

#22: At the very bottom of the list is Sumin Jeong from Marry my husband

Now, like almost everyone else on this list, Sumin is kept a level that is below the FL Jiwon so she can never best the hero. However unlike the others here, Sumin has not once been shown to be anything other than a dumb and evil bimbo who talks like elmo even before Jiwon regressed, her reasons for wanting everything Jiwon has make no sense and she has no flavor to her, no backstory that makes sense, no real charm since it's lost as soon as possible, all she has going for her is a distinct design.

#21: Charlotte-the villainess maker

Honestly, Charlotte is about as forgettable as the comic she's from. She doesn't do much, just basic bland white lotus tropes over and over. She is portrayed as a sweet heart but she's secretly a jealous vindictive mean girl, she loses everything to the FL because she's too basic for the not-like-other-girls readers, nothing really revolutionary about her, but this could be chalked up to the story shes from canonically being an abysmal mess written by the FL when she was 14, Sorry Charlotte.

#20: Iris Van Conrad-Today the villainess has fun again.

A step up from Sumin when it comes to backstories, still not the greatest but it makes a little more sense. She's more passive aggressive since her actual plots are destoryed in nanoseconds by the plot, she gets dunked on so much I wonder if she's supposed to the Villainess or a discount Meg Griffin. Considering the fact to that Reilynn is pedo coded, Iris is less of the two evils.

#19: Aisha Selir-divorcing my tyrant husband.

Shes okay, But like Charlotte, Aisha isn't very noteworthy, as usual, any attempts she makes to best or outsmart Robelia are met with utter failure, she could be something really great if she were just allowed to make a mark on the plot. Like actually have Alexandros take responsibility instead of blaming her for her existence. Her design before the art shift was pretty enough and I'm pretty sure she's being possessed by a vindictive soul so that might explain why Aisha suddenly became a villain when she's described as being dainty, sweet, and a general damsel and saintess in the story within DMTH.

18: Fonta Magnus:the tyrants only perfumer

Fonta is the type of antagonist that would be adored as a isekaied protagonist. She doesn't really do much though since she gets defeated over and over with the same plan of copying Ariels ideas (how original, no pun intended) I like her though just because her design reminds me of cartoon goth girls, specially Gwen from total drama island.

#17: Benela Verdi- the princesses jewels

I don't care if she seduced Ariannas father or killed her brother, Arianna was out there acting like she wouldn't do the same just to get with a sexy man. Benela may suffer from the same problems every other villainess does but if ranked them based on that then almost all of them would be on the bottom. This image of her drinking her stress away is accurate to how I felt reading this one.

#16: Claudine von Brandt-Cry or better yet beg

I absolutely adore Claudine and she's not really a villain but unfortunately the narrative says she's a so she'll have to count. It's why she's this low since she's just a woman who gets in the way of the main ship

As you can probably guess, her only crimes are being condescending to Layla and valuing superficial values such as wealth and status, crimes that somehow make her worse than Matthias in the narratives eyes. Justice for my girl Claudine ✊️

now we are moving up to the middle tier

#15: Diana-for my derelict favorite

This girl has more protagonist material then Hestia ever will. Sorry but Hestias entire thing is just being a rich girlboss, simping for Cael and damning any woman who broke his heart including Diana, who is the saintess that opposes murder, Wow! Who would have guessed that the saintess woman wouldn't endorse literal murder! Could she have communicated better? Yes, was she always in the right? Hell no. But she's got more character in her pinky toe then everyone else in their entire bodies to I salute to her.

#14: Irene/Aileen Hascator- I didn't mean to seduce the male lead

I have a weird relationship with her. One minute I'm impressed because she actually does manipulation pretty well at first with making the lives of those who won't swear loyalty her unbearable in very smart ways, she'll buy all her friends expensive dresses so she can stand out in a simpler one, she'll defend the black sheep and make her into her friend to keep up her sweetheart facade, unfortunately it's all so she can get with a boy where she goes nuts on anyone who gets near him.

#13: Freya van Furiana- how to get my husband on my side

I really loved this manhwa, almost all of the characters are complex and 3 dimensional with a great commentary on abuse, ED, and family dynamics, with that said I was a little disappointed seeing Freya as another basic white lotus who only wants Izek for herself, it won't take much even a little more character traits would help because Freya isn't just some random girl who became the ogfl, she was the childhood friend of Izek and Ellen, so we should've gotten to see a little more too her then what we got

#12: Mielle Roscente- the villainess turns the hourglass.

Beautiful design, basic but rather solid goals, a charming personality, Mielle has all of that in the bag. She secretly wants Aria and her mother out of her life since they aren't of noble blood (before the terrible Arias a noble plot twist) and she's really entertaining. However I'll never understand how she managed to destroy Aria in the first timeline if she's such an idiot now. The first timeline also takes the blame off of Arias shitty actions with "Mielle tricked her into being evil!" It ruins the charm since Aria, as a villainess should be allowed to suffer the consequences while not wanting to quit.. since you know, she's not meant to be a good person.

#11: Isabella de Mare-sister I am the queen in this life

NOT YOU!

THIS is the Isabella I'm talking about

Absolute genius, she knows that Ceasre is a bastard and not just in the literal sense, she doesn't even love him and just wants that sweet sweet power and wealth. Fooled Ariande for years that she was on her side and as a bonus she can easily say she wanted revenge for Alfonso to the public if they ever found out she was behind it all. But the best part about first timeline Isabella is her villain monolog that women mean nothing to men, putting your life in their hands is a fatal mistake and if you want to make it to the top, you gotta crush the opponents. But alas we never see this version of Isabella after Ariande goes back in time

Higher tier now, the best of the best who managed to make it this far

#10: Rhyse/Lise Sinclair- not your typical reincarnation story

Yeah shes technically being controlled by the author or hell maybe she is the author I have yet to finish this one but for once we get a comic that doesn't immediately pit two women against eachother and actually gives a solid reason for her to be at odds with Edith. When something doesn't go her way, Rhyse doesn't throw a fit and turn on the water works no no no. She stands there, awkwardly, almost like the real Rhyse is wondering why she feels so jealous and angry with Edith for stealing the spotlight. She's incredibly ominous too when that purple mist surrounds her to force the other characters back into place. All while she's making friends with Edith in a possibly geninue friendship.

#9: Isis Frederick- the villainess reverses the hourglass

I'm pretty sure most of us can agree she's the real villain of TVRTHG since she basically started and encouraged the whole operation to begin with from afar, the puppeteer if you will. Killer design, a great fear factor and an evil sister done better. Wish she had more time to shine.

#8: Diane Poitier- I abdicate my title as empress

What already sets her apart from other evil concubines is that she was there before Adelaide so her reasons for being upset that another woman is showing up to marry the Emperor is reasonable, obviously her actions aren't but I still felt bad for her since no one in that palace gave a damn about her, Diane got ruthlessly belittled and ignored for not being useful to their liking or simply being too desperate and when Adelaide tries to not make an enemy out of her, Diane is looking for anyone to direct her anger on but the redemption arc as short as it is, makes up for it.

#7: Leila- villains are destined to die

My favorite ogfl turned villain. Leila is pure evil no questions asked. She steals the body of Yvonne which played a part in taking the latters reputation to a degree in the fandom and starts brainwashing everyone around her. That's what makes her so terrifying, one minute you could be at your highest and you feel like you rule the world, and next minute it all comes crashing down when the face of your long lost sibling arrives with fake tears in her eyes, ready to destroy everything you hold dear.

#6: Soleia Elard- seducing the villains father

I can't believe I'm saying this but a classic black magic witch is a unique villain in the manhwa world. During her introduction she's already causing mayhem by trying to kill Yerenica with black magic, and at first you'd think she's another "I want my hubbies affection!" Chick but no, she just wants to marry Erudian to have his child and use said child to avenge her family and destroy everything, characters are all frightened by her because she actually gets shit done instead of failing every minute of the day, and even after all that, she's allowed the privilege of life by getting a redemption arc.

#5: Cosette Weinberg- I was the real one.

She deserved so much better!! 😭 Cosette, my baby, you were set up to be such an amazing villain with high intelligence and well thought out plans, why did they have to give you the good old plot induced lobotomy! Girly wasn't just smart but there were actually times I could get behind Cosette. When Keira gave a maid 100 lashes after she insulted and wished death on Keira, it was Cosette who took advantage of an actual truth with only a little bit of exaggeration, they were both evil but only one of them was rightfully called out for it. Honestly just read the novel, the manhwa did it dirty.

#4: Marianne Edenverre- into the light again.

Nah someone get this baby to a church and give her the aggressive baptism 10 times over, I'll always be wondering how the hell did that 10 year old get her hands on a demon in the first place, the fact that the family never found her hiding behind a door or closet staring into their soul like a paralysis demon is surprising cause I imagine she would do that and be like "it's just me sillies, I would never mean to scare you 😛" she's a well written villainess who I wish would have a little bit more screentime but her powers and what she can do honestly confuses me (like that whole body-swap thing)

Final 3 everybody, you ready for this?

#🥉: the 3rd place medal goes to Dodolea Castor from My in laws are obsessed with me

Another real villainess, putting everyone off guard with her initial gacha life brat persona only to be hit in the face with disturbing levels of cruelty that can only match a psychopath, she looks straight out of an uncanny mr incredible meme with that light skin stare shes got. Straight up laughs at Therdeos trauma while being well aware that she tried to SA him and how it affected the poor guy and later proceeds to attempt to kill and later kidnaps his wife. There's no remorse, no regrets, just the souls of innocents behind those huge eyes.

#🥈 : the second place medal goes to Verta Alberhart from depths of malice.

She isn't even the antagonist, no that's the protagonist! And honestly, the only white lotus in the main lead spot I've ever read so far. And while she has a messed up backstory that explains why she's so bitter, she still full on embraces it. Vertas way of being granted a second chance isn't even because of some goddess or divine power, she just snatches the body of a suicidal noblewoman and wreaks havoc on all of the disgusting noblemen in her path. She cries on the court trial of her fiances murder while secretly laughing knowing she set the whole thing up and slowly ruins the life of anyone who fucked around and found out.

At long last, we reached #🏅, and the crown goes to none other than...

Rashta Ishka from the remarried empress!

Hear me out now, this isn't just me being biased. Rashta earns first place because even though she is rendered an idiot who's only use is being worse so everyone else can look good, she still managed to do something unfathomable. She earned the respect of a fandom that initially hated her with all the fiber of their being and now she has a growing fanbase of real people, not fictional characters, actual fans. People are literally turning on one of the most popular manhwas that started it all for its treatment of Rashta (because who would guess that people are uncomfortable with the fact that a former slave is the ultimate evil and not the guy who tortures people just for shit talking the FL) and even though there is still a big part of the fandom who despises her, she still lives in everyone's head rent free. The trashta meme is more well known than Navier as a character and her character arc will always be superior and far more interesting than everything else in the story, after all remarried empress did start to decline after her death.

Jesus christ this took so long, I had to do so much rereading and fact checking but it was worth it.

[cosmerelists]

If Other Stormlight Characters Served as the King's Wit

As requested by anon. :)

"The King's Wit" is there to insult people in the king's stead. In this role, Hoid basically gets to stand at the entrance to feasts and make fun of people. It's a good gig for him. But what if other characters had this job?

1. The Stormfather

Stormfather (rumbling with displeasure): You have broken an oath today. Stormfather: You promised your son that you would play "Shattered Plains" with him this afternoon, but you did not. Stormfather: Though you feast for today, my storm winds shall one day scatter your dishonored bones. Elhokar (visibly sweating): Ha ha my new Wit sure is, ah, intense!

2. Kaladin

Kaladin: Ew. Another Lighteyes... Kaladin: Sniff, sniff! Smells like the exploitation of the powerless in here! Kaladin: I can name a dozen men better than you and guess what--they're ALL darkeyed. Kaladin: Nice outfit--did it come free with your ancestral privilege?  Elhokar (muttering to himself): I will not put him in jail again, I will not put him in jail again, I will not...

3. Shallan

Shallan: [sketching] Hapless Lighteyed guest: Is that...me? Shallan: It is! [shows Ideal Self portrait--it's the same person, only their sadness and distrust is gone and they shine with an earnest and honest light, looking out toward their future] Hapless Lighteyed Guest (visibly tearing up): I...It's beautiful. Shallan: Please, go ahead & take it! Elhokar: Shallan-Wit, why is everyone at my feast introspective and crying? Shallan: I'm really good at art.

4. Adolin

Adolin: Wow! You are so brave to put those colors together, and in a style from two years ago ago! Adolin: You are almost pulling it off. 

5. Dalinar

Dalinar: Hello. I could not help but overhear your heated argument, my friends. Dalinar: It reminds me of a tale from the Way of Kings, which I will now quote from memory... Dalinar: ... Dalinar: Aaaaand, they fled. Dalinar: That's the third time that's happened this evening.

6. Ialai

Ialai: [hands hapless lighteyed guest a folded-up sheet of paper] Hapless Lighteyed Guest: W-Where did you get this information about me? And my husband? And my...former boyfriend's sister's cousin? Ialai: [merely smiles] Hapless Lighteyed Guest: W-What do you want? Please! I'll do anything! Ialai: Why...nothing at all. Yet. Please enjoy the feast.

7. Lift

Lift: Mmmm....4. Lift: A solid 6! Lift: Perhaps a 5, but ONLY because of those pants. Lift: Wow! An 8! Wyndle: P-Please mistress, I don't think the job of the King's Wit is to rank the butts of all attendees! Lift: They need to know.

8. Jasnah

Hapless Lighteyed Guest: Ugh, I don't think it's right for the king to employ a heretic as his Wit! Jasnah: It's strange--one might think that your faith in the Almighty would inspire you to strive to be a good man, yet in reality your mother weeps each and every night to have produced a son who loves drinking and gambling more than he loves his children, his wife, or indeed the Almighty. Jasnah: Should you wish to inspire faith in others, perhaps you should try to demonstrate even the smallest reason why yours has produced an iota of good for anyone in this world aside from yourself. Elhokar (across the room, watching): I...am afraid.

9. Lopen

Lopen: Hey, I know you! I got a cousin in your army! Lopen: He always laughs 'bout how weird it is that your officers make the men pay for their own boots 'n' stuff 'cause it's an army not a charity, right? But then your officer son gets an allowance which is funny 'cause that kinda seems like the 'charity' thing that an army isn't! Lopen: We Herdazians tend to use a word to mean a thing, yeah? But you Alethi sure like to make a word mean whatever it is you want!

10. Szeth & Nightblood

Nightblood: Evil. Evil. Evil. Definitely evil. Big evil! Little evil, but still evil. Szeth: You've identified every guest so far as evil, sword-nimi. Nightbood: Yeah, I'm so good at detecting evil! So when does the slaying start? Szeth: I told you. I don't murder entire parties anymore. That is my past, but it does not have to be my future. Nightblood: But you're the King's Wit! You got wit-tle down the evil, right? Szeth: That is not what that means, sword-nimi. Nightblood: ... Szeth: ... Nightblood: People sure do speed up when they have to walk past us, huh? Szeth: I am pretty sure that means we're doing a good job.

[hypnopreppy]

Bad Boy to Prep

Deck leaned against the wall, puffing away on his cigarette with a nonchalant air as if the school and its rules were miles away. The morning air was crisp, but he was enveloped in a haze of smoke and indifference. Deck heard firm footsteps approaching, knowing immediately it was Mr. Thompson the school guidance counselor. Deck, barely glancing his way, sighed with annoyance, exhaling another plume of smoke.

“Declan, would you please put that out and come to my office?” Mr. Thompson asked.

Deck rolled his eyes, “It’s Deck. And yeah whatever I’ll swing by later.” He exhaled another puff.

Mr. Thompson made eye contact and stated firmly, “I meant now.”

Deck, for a split second, felt a tingle down his spine. He put out his cigarette and said “Lead the way, dude.”

Mr. Thompson motioned for Deck to sit in the seat across from his desk. Deck slumped down, not wanting to be here any longer than he needed to be. Mr. Thompson took his seat at his neatly organized desk. 

“Thank you for joining me Declan,” Mr. Thompson began.

“Not like I had a choice. And it’s Deck.” Deck said curtly.

“Right. ‘Deck.’” Mr. Thompson said hesitantly, “I wanted to talk to you about some things.”

Deck sighed, “Get on with it.”

“You need to stop smoking, Deck. It’s bad for your health. You also need to start dressing better and acting appropriately.” Mr. Thompson replied.

“Fuck that. This is who I am.” Deck said.

Mr. Thompson made direct eye contact with Deck, “Do not curse.”

With another slight shiver down his spine, Deck responded, “Okay.”

Deck felt weird. After Mr. Thompson told him not to curse, it’s like he suddenly was not able to. He couldn’t even think of a curse word. Deck brushed the weird feeling away and asked,

“So what do you want me to do about it?”

Mr. Thompson cracked a small smile. He made direct eye contact with Deck and said, “Start by using your real name. You are not ‘Deck’, you are Declan.”

“... I am Declan,” Declan mumbled. For a split second he could’ve sworn he got another weird feeling...

“You think you can do that Deck?” Mr. Thompson interrupted his thoughts.

“It's Declan, I don’t go by ‘Deck’. And do what?” Declan replied.

Smiling Mr. Thompson, made direct eye contact once again and said, “You need to change your clothes. You hate being unkempt and dirty.”

Before he could process the weird feeling, Declan stood up and looked down at his clothes with disgust.

“What am I wearing?” Declan exclaimed. “Dude, do you have a change of clothes? These are awful!”

Mr. Thompson, making eye contact with him said, “I do. You will wear them. They feel perfectly correct.”

Declan nodded and immediately grabbed the clothes. Not caring for Mr. Thompson’s presence, he immediately stripped to his underwear. He immediately began to put on the pastel polo shirt. He felt the comfort of the collar on his neck and thought, wow this feels great! 

Following the polo, he pulled up the khaki shorts and absent mindedly tucked his shirt in. Mr. Thompson also provided new shoes too, boat shoes that he quickly put on.

“These clothes are so much better. Uh, thanks man.” Declan said to Mr. Thompson.

Mr. Thompson looked into his eyes, “You speak respectfully and eloquently.”

Declan paused for a second and responded, “Thank you, sir. I greatly appreciate your generosity.”

“You’re welcome Declan. You are a changed man. Respectable for society.” Mr. Thompson continued looking into his eyes.

“Yeah… respectable…” Declan trailed off.

“Declan. You need a better haircut, one suitable for a preppy like yourself. Allow me to provide it.” Mr. Thompson continued.

Declan let the words register before saying, “Mr. Thompson, would you be so obliged to provide me with a haircut suitable for me?”

Mr. Thompson nodded and pulled out a set of clippers from his desk. He began to make quick work of “Deck’s” hair, crafting a preppy hairstyle for Declan.

Declan stood proudly, now sporting a preppy hairstyle. Mr. Thompson beamed at his work of art. Mr. Thompson enjoyed “guiding” students to become better versions of themselves.

“Declan,” Mr. Thompson made eye contact, “You have always been a good preppy boy. You are respectful and do no wrong. Off to class.”

Declan smiled, “Thank you, Mr. Thompson. Your words are truly meaningful. Have a good day!”

[justlemmeadoreyou]

Can I request for an blurb?? Never requested to anyone but I have this idea!!

So like H nd reader is in a relationship but H being famous nd all so because of that media nd his fans doesn't know he is in relationship nd to hide that thing he had to do PR relationship with someone else!! Nd he doesn't acknowledge that he had being ignoring reader nd spending more time with that pr girl!! So one day H came home nd reader was crying nd saying to H "do you love me?? Nd saying please don't leave me" nd H assure her she is it nd in few months he proposed the reader by saying how she is the only girl for him nd to never doubt his love for her!!

Ahh so sorry for such a lengthy request!! Nd it's okay if you don't wanna write!!:)

words: 4k (sorry!!!)

warnings: angst, lots of it. a fake pr, crying, some smut too. happy ending.

i changed this a bit, especially the ending. hope you don't hate this!

***

"I miss you," you whispered into the dark emptiness of your bedroom, clutching Harry's pillow tight. Another restless night alone while he was off being pictured with that pretty model for their fake relationship.

When would this torment end? Your heart ached constantly from the secrecy and lies shredding your real romance with Harry. All you wanted was to be open about your love...

It had started off so blissfully a year ago when you literally crashed into Harry outside of a coffee shop. You'd been rushing out the door, distracted and clumsy as always, when you rammed straight into a solid wall of human. Your face went bright red as you scrambled to pick up your scattered belongings.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry! I'm such a disaster, I seriously need to watch where I'm going..." you babbled, finally looking up into the kindest pair of green eyes you'd ever seen.

The man was watching you with an amused tilt to his soft lips. Something about his tousled chestnut hair and casual style felt vaguely familiar, though you couldn't quite place him. 

"No worries at all, it's my fault. Are you alright?" He asked in a deep, sumptuous voice that made you shiver.

As realization dawned, your mortified expression deepened. "Oh wow...you're...I just headbutted Harry Styles in the stomach."

He laughed easily, dimples flashing as he bent to help gather your dropped papers. "Very impressive ab attack there. Been taking self-defense classes?"

You flushed again at his playful teasing, finding yourself surprisingly flustered by this international superstar's carefree charm. Most celebrities seemed to carry an air of inflated ego, but Harry radiated a humble warmth.

"Do you, er, come to this cafe often?" He asked curiously as you both stood. "I don't think I've seen you around before."

Tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear shyly, you shook your head. "No, I don't. I was just stopping in for a coffee on my way to work."

"I see." His gem-green eyes slowly traced over your features, as if admiring a fine work of art. The intensity of his gaze sent a tendril of heated awareness washing through you.

Before you could think better of it, you blurted out the first thing on your mind. "Would you...maybe want to get coffee? With me, I mean? Right now?"

Harry's full lips curved in an amused smile. "I'd love that, actually."

You could scarcely believe this was reality as you led him back inside the cafe, trying not to visibly swoon at the casual brush of his fingertips against the small of your back. For the next hour you talked and laughed more freely than you had in ages, feeling utterly intoxicated by Harry's mere presence. Everything about him radiated authenticity and vulnerability, a creative wildness simmering beneath his polished exterior. You felt like you could be yourself with him instead of carefully cultivating persona upon persona as you did with most people.

By the time you forced yourself to reluctantly leave for work, exchanging numbers with Harry, you were positively giddy. Dancing through your day in a euphoric bubble, you hardly noticed the pitying looks from coworkers.

"You know he's just gonna ghost you, right?" Julie the receptionist said flatly when you told her about your morning coffee date. "Have you seen how many girls fall all over themselves trying to get Harry Styles' attention? You're out of your league, sweetie."

You frowned at her harsh dose of reality. As if you weren't well aware of your lack of impressiveness compared to supermodels and actresses in Harry's orbit. Still, you couldn't shake the magnetic connection you'd felt with him, the bone-deep certainty that he was someone truly special. 

Much to everyone's shock, Harry didn't ghost you. In fact, a simple text from him that evening asking how your day was led to a rapid-fire exchange of messages stretching long into the night. Over the next few weeks, your life revolved around hushed phone calls, secret rendezvous at out-of-the-way cafes and restaurants, and marathon conversations revealing every layer of one another.

Harry was purely intoxicating - a whirlwind of brooding intensity balanced with vivid spontaneity and an excellent sense of humor. He seemed utterly fascinated by every small detail you revealed about your life, respectful in a way that made him feel like a wonderful dream. And you fell harder and harder for Harry with each passing day. Something about his quiet attentiveness and insatiable curiosity about you made you feel cherished in a way you'd never experienced before. Gone were the shallow, vapid interactions you were accustomed to in the dating world. With Harry, you could truly be yourself - he somehow coaxed out your authentic self that you typically kept heavily guarded. 

At the same time, you were in absolute awe of the whirlwind of depth and experiences that defined Harry's life. His stories of touring the globe, writing deeply personal lyrics, collaborating with musical icons - they all painted a vivid portrait of an artistic soul soaring to brilliant creative heights. You drank in every glimpse into his inner world like a lifeline to another realm of existence.

Yet whenever you'd express feeling unworthy of his profound love and admiration, Harry was quick to sweetly rebuff you.

"Y/N, you dazzle me more than anything I've experienced in this mad career of mine," he insisted one evening over a cozy home-cooked meal you'd prepared. Catching your hand across the table, his green gaze pinned you in place. "Don't you see? Your warmth, your light, your way of finding detailed beauty in such seemingly ordinary moments - that's what enchants me. You make me want to shed all the superficial trappings of fame and just...be."

You felt yourself falling deeper and deeper, tumbling into an intimacy more profound than you'd ever imagined. If Harry hadn't told you himself that he'd only had a few relatively tame celebrity girlfriends in the past, you'd never have believed his immense experience from the way he worshiped you.

"So responsive, so gorgeous," he rasped against your swollen lips, calloused fingers stroking delirious patterns over your sensitized skin. "God, I could spend eternity between your legs”

Those stolen passionate encounters, tangled up and gasping one another's names with wild abandon, only added to your lovestruck infatuation. You felt deeply seen and cherished on a soul level, like you were both puzzle pieces finally slotting seamlessly together.

In the dreamy, lust-addled haze of new love, you almost didn't notice the growing tension in Harry's manner as typical relationship pressures began encroaching. Paparazzi grew increasingly aggressive in tracking his day-to-day movements whenever out in public. Well-meaning friends expressed concerns about the obvious strain he was under from lack of a romantic life in the public eye. And perhaps most troubling, his management team forcefully "suggested" it was time for him to embark on a high-profile PR romance to capitalize on album promotion and touring.

Harry had looked utterly fed up that evening when he broke the news, pacing in your living room.

You watched him apprehensively. "They want you to do...what? You mean...go along with a staged relationship? Like have a beard or something?"

"No! Absolutely not, I won't do it. I won't treat you like some secret, and I refuse to fake anything in my private life for publicity."

"Harry..." you tried to soothe him, rising to your feet and rubbing his tense shoulders. "I understand the pressures you're under-"

"No, you don't!" He rounded on you with surprising intensity. "You don't get it, Y/N. You are the best, most precious thing in my world - my safe harbor from all the bullshit fake expectations. I won't sully what we have with PR lies. I just...won't."

His words were at once incredibly romantic and terribly naive. As much as you longed to stay cocooned in the warm, intimate bubble of your relationship, you knew the real world would inevitably intrude. Harry was a public figure on a massive scale, his romantic life constantly scrutinized. For the sake of his livelihood, he might not have any choice but to bend to the publicity machine's demands.

***

Those first seeds of conflict only blossomed further over the following weeks as the PR relationship issue remained unresolved. You did your best to stay supportive and understanding, but it was a challenge keeping your own hurt and insecurities at bay.

"I just don't see what the big deal is," Harry groused one evening over a tense dinner. "So what if they want me to go out a few times with some model or actress, let the paps get pictures? It doesn't mean anything to me."

You poked at your food sullenly. "It's not that simple though, is it? Couldn't something like that, even if fake, seriously complicate things for us?"

He reached across to squeeze your hand. "Baby, you know you're the only person who matters to me. A little PR sham doesn't change how utterly mad I am about you."

But it did change things, whether Harry wanted to admit it or not. The striking difference in how he treated you, his real partner behind closed doors, compared to how he'd have to pretend with someone else for public consumption - it stung deep.

One night shortly after, you were cuddled up watching a movie when Harry's phone started incessantly buzzing. Pulling it out with a furrow in his brow, he quickly scanned a series of messages and emailed photos. An unmistakable look of chagrin crossed his face.

"What is it?" You asked, unable to ignore the sinking feeling in your gut.

Harry sighed, shoulders slumping. "Looks like the publicity team is really pushing ahead. They've, uh, they've arranged for me to be caught having dinner with Kendall Jenner tomorrow night."

Your heart plummeted as an uneasy feeling settled over you. This was really happening - right before your eyes, your private intimacy was being infiltrated with PR lies.

"So you're...going to be going out with her? In public, on a fake date, while the whole world watches?" You tried and failed to keep the hurt out of your voice.

"Not a date!" Harry was quick to insist, shifting closer to pull you into his arms. "Y/N, you have to understand this doesn't mean anything. It's all just smoke and mirrors, love. You're my world, I promise."

You wanted so desperately to believe him. But the lingering ache still took root somewhere deep inside as you watched the paparazzi frenzy ignite over Harry's "outing" with Kendall. Photos of the two models laughing intimately over drinks and dinner plastered every gossip rag and website for weeks. 

It soon became a narrative that followed Harry everywhere - probing reporters shouting questions about whether he and Kendall were officially an item now. Rabid fans prying him online, trying to get every new shred of detail on the new, perfect couple.

"Hey, come here," Harry murmured soothingly whenever he saw the sadness and uncertainty cloud your eyes. He'd pull you into his chest, peppering kisses over your face. "I'm yours, baby, only yours. None of that bloody circus matters to me, I hope you know that."

You wanted to have his quiet confidence, truly. The way Harry could compartmentalize the fake PR relationship and his very real feelings for you with such clear separation. But it didn't stop the anxiety slowly gnawing away at your trust and security.

Increasingly, special romantic gestures from Harry felt like overcompensation for all the public affection he was faking with Kendall. When he'd surprise you with extravagant getaways to exotic locales, you couldn't fully relax into the pampering without wondering how much of it was just hiding guilt. And his constant reaffirmations of his love and devotion started ringing hollow amidst the growing circus his life was becoming.

The worst of it came at one of his first concerts after the publicity whirlwind began. You'd been so looking forward to experiencing the screaming crowds in a whole new light as Harry's actual partner, not just a casual fan. But the huge video screens kept flashing candid photos and fake couple shots of Harry holding hands and hugging Kendall, selling their phony romance to the fans.

You couldn't hold back the tears slipping down your cheeks as Harry serenaded the arena full of thousands, having no choice but to play along with the charade on the world stage. He caught your eye for just a second during the encore, and his smile instantly morphed into a look of sheer sorrow and guilt, looking at your tear-ridden face. He knew you, even if he stood so much away from you.  But there was nothing he could do then except push forward with the manufactured story.

That night after the concert, an emotional Harry fell into your arms the moment you were alone in his dressing room. He clung to you desperately, peppering apologies across your tear-stained and defeated face.

"God, Y/N, I'm so sorry," he rasped, emerald eyes awash with remorse and frustration. "Seeing you hurting like that because of this bloody sham...it killed me. You have to know how madly in love I am with only you."

You nodded, finding it hard to speak past the lump in your throat. Of course you knew, deep down, that Harry loved you wholly. His attentiveness, the intense spark of intimacy and passion between you, the emotional connection - it was all achingly real. This PR relationship was merely a toxic byproduct of his celebrity, something massively unfortunate but not defining your actual bond.

And yet...Harry couldn't deny the growing chaos enveloping his personal life. The fake romance was now Priority One to his team, staged and milked for every ounce of publicity. Constant video calls and strategy sessions mapped out each calculated move - where Harry and Kendall would stage a coffee run for the paps, when they should be papped holding hands emerging from a nightclub, how often they should update their couple-y Instagram shots together.

Harry grew increasingly sullen and withdrawn the more deeply engrossed he became in maintaining the facade. And you couldn't ignore the mounting jealousy and hurt rapidly corroding, chipping away your self-esteem and faith in the relationship.

***

"Maybe...maybe we should take a break," you finally broached one afternoon after an especially grueling set of publicity demands. Harry's head whipped up from where he was moodily going over plans for an upcoming awards show appearance.

"What? Why would you say that?" There was an edge of panic in his tone. He looked shocked, but you knew it was a long time coming.

You shrugged. "Harry, can you honestly tell me you don't resent me at all for the toll this whole – charade has taken? That some part of you doesn't wish you could just live your life freely without me holding you back from giving publicity stunts like this your full effort?"

He immediately rushed to gather you into his arms. "No! Never, Y/N. You're my world, my everything. Without you, all this would mean nothing!”

Burying your face into the strength of his shoulder, you wished you could cling to his words and find comfort there once more. But the turmoil swirling around you was rapidly becoming too overpowering.

"I'm just...I'm so tired of feeling like an afterthought, Harry. Of being the dirty little secret you have to hide away while flaunting someone else to the world. I can't keep living like this, sinking into doubt and jealousy constantly."

Harry's arms tightened around you convulsively. "Don't say that, my love. You could never be an afterthought to me. I need you here, by my side, to keep me grounded and remind me of what's truly real."

Though his words warmed your heart, you found yourself pulling back to gaze at him searchingly. "Then prove it. Enough with the grand romantic gestures, the desperate promises. I need you to actually fight for me, for us, instead of just going along with everything. Either that, or–” the lump in your throat deepend, “ –you can let me go”

Harry was taken aback by your words. But still, there was a part of him that didn;t fully understand what you were going through.  "You know it's not that simple, Y/N. One wrong move that tanks this publicity team's plans and my entire career could crater."

"So what?" you challenged, tilting your chin defiantly. Harry wasn't the only one being forced to make impossible choices. "Is the career really more important than your actual life, your happiness in a real relationship? Because I love you with everything, but I can't keep sacrificing my sense of self-worth and spinning out into reckless jealousy every waking moment just so you can have the best of both worlds."

"I...you have to understand, none of this publicity shite actually matters to me. Not really. It's all a smokescreen that will fade away eventually. But you, us - this love is my truth, my be all and end all. Don't give up on me, baby. I'll fix this, I swear it."

You wanted so badly to believe the desperation in Harry's voice. But the ache of sadness and insecurity had burrowed too deeply. What once would have swept you up in romantic adulation now just hollowed you out further.

"I really hope you can, Harry," you rasped, pulling away with immense reluctance. "Because I can't keep holding my breath waiting for the other shoe to drop much longer. This half-life just isn't enough anymore.I can't, Harry.I can't keep living like this."

Harry looked hurt now. He knew it was only a while before it all came shattering down, but the thought of Y/N walking away felt like a shard of glass lodged in his heart. 

"From this moment on, things change," he rasped. "No more bowing to bloody publicists and image managers. My truth, our bond, comes before anything else. You're about to become my permanent bloody shadow, love."

A smile curved your lips at his words. Reaching up to trace the sharp edge of his chiseled jaw, you felt a wave of relief and renewed hope. "Well, I do make a devilishly charming shadow, if I say so myself."

Harry's gaze drank you in like a man rewarded with an infinite oasis after years of directionless wandering. "That you do, baby. No more hiding that radiant light of yours, yeah? "

He sealed the vow with a kiss that seared straight through to your bones. You clung to him, every brush of his hands and velvet tongue rekindling the deepest intimacy between you two. 

When you finally pulled apart, chasing oxygen, Harry made an immediate move to sweep you up into his arms like a blushing bride. "Come on, love. Let's go remind the world of who they're dealing with, shall we?"

You looped your arms around his neck with a giddy laugh as he strode through the penthouse with you cradled protectively to his chest. Despite his determination, his hold was soft, cherishing. Like you were something infinitely precious to be handled with utmost care, or you would break.

Without explanation, Harry marched you both out and down to where a sleek black car was out front, the doorman quickly ushering you inside the backseat. Once the privacy partition rolled up, Harry immediately turned to you.

"I mean it, every word," he stated plainly. "No more deceptions or hiding our connection. From here it's full transparency and only the truth."

you felt overcome by tenderness and awe. "So...does that mean an end to the fake relationship with Kendall then?"

"Among other things," Harry confirmed without hesitation. To your surprise, he reached into his pocket to retrieve his phone and thumbed it open to the camera app, situating you both in the frame. "We're going to document and share every moment of us, the real us. Let my supporters and fans see who truly holds my heart before all others."

You blinked in astonishment as he looped an arm around your waist, pulling your bodies flush as the camera captured. Was this really happening? After all your heartbreak and insecurity brought on by that disastrous PR relationship, was Harry truly throwing it all to the wind?

That was clearly his intention as he leaned in to nuzzle your cheek dotingly, snapping pic after sweet pic of shameless embraces and intimate caresses being exchanged between you. Each time the shutter clicked he murmured loving adorations, his focus immovable.

"Gorgeous girl...my forever woman...heart and soul of my entire world..."

You blinked back tears. When was the last time you'd felt this elevated by Harry's worshiping? Your shaky exhales intermingled hotly as he maneuvered you fully into his lap, slanting his mouth hungrily across yours.

"My everything," he growled against your lips before kissing you breathless.

"Harry..." you finally managed to gasp out as you pulled apart, "what are you doing? If you post those shots, then-"

"Then the whole world will know I'm mad for you, and only you," he said, with nothing but seriousness and devotion in his voice,  "No more closeting my actual partner away like a mistress to be hidden from disapproving eyes. You're the only romantic relationship fully grounded in truth that the world needs to be focused on."

You shivered at the assurance in his tone. This was really it - the definitive line in the sand. And with Harry looking at you the way he was, you couldn't find it in yourself to argue or question further. You simply melted into his heat, losing yourself in the incredible feeling of being staked as his claim.

With a few taps, Harry posted the first of intimate photos and captions that set the internet instantly ablaze. Breathy confessions of forever love intermingled with searing makeout shots - it was a rush of letting go of months of pent-up passion and adoration for the world to finally bear witness.

All the while, Harry refused to tear his stare from worshiping every inch of your body. His broad palms trailing over the exposed curves of your hips, waist, the swell of your breasts - anchoring you fully into the present.

Your social media was immediately swamped by a plethora of comments, tags and speculation over the tsunami wave of intimate reveals. Harry's fanbase seemed to have divided between celebration and outrage over their beloved idol being so thoroughly claimed by an average nobody. 

More jarring, however, was the media/PR teams' explosive reactions. Both your phones blew up with frantic calls and enraged messages demanding explanations and emergency meetings. As expected, the team working to orchestrate Harry's fake relationship with Kendall were melting down over the sheer negligence of you both, and damage control now being initiated.

For a long while, you both simply ignored it, too immersed in devouring the rebirth of your connection to spare any attention elsewhere. You reveled in being subjected to Harry's fervent, undivided worshipping as his fingertips and lips swept across every velvet hollow and slope. His sensual assault was purposefully overwhelming, etching his permanent claim over your quivering form.

"They'll keep the noise up for a while, try spreading all sorts of misinformation and manipulation to regain control of the narrative," Harry finally mumbled without breaking the rhythm of stripping you bare and lavishing undivided attention over each exposed new expanse of satin flesh.

You shivered beneath him, and he tilted your chin up with a knuckle to capture your gaze, "But none of that shite matters now, okay? All that matters is that I’m all yours now. Only yours.:

And you were never letting him go.

♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡~~~♡

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[dark-and-kawaii]

begging and pleading for more mean raphael 😭🙏🏻 the way you write is so ajahdhejdjsj i literally check your blog DAILY

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ The Devils Entertainment ˖⟡˚౨ৎ⋆

Summary: Raphael uses you like the eager pup you are, using you as a precious little cum dump. That’s all you’re good for anyway, to entertain him until he grows bored.

♡ Content: NSFW - Degrading - Used - Creampie - Mean Raphael

♡ Notes: Whaa!!! Thank you darling (˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )!!!! I can’t believe you check my blog daily, like wow!!! I really hope this satisfies your mean Raphael needs!!!

Raphael fucks you raw until you’re begging, crying for him to cum inside you. Until your mind has completely blanked out. The man- the devil, always makes your body his own, his hands bruising your hips, your throat, your wrists as he manhandles you into the perfect position to pound your abused cunt, “You bend so easily, little pup. It’s almost dull.” He laughs low, his grip on your hip tightens as you sob his name, your arms barely keeping your chest off the ground.

Your body is sore and used, your mind exhausted, unable to do much more than feel the pleasure of his thick cock, his cum leaking from your swollen, aching cunt… “I barely exert any effort, and there you go, crumbling at the seams. It's like you were made to be broken. Pitty. I like when they can at least put up a decent fight.”

You whine when the devil pulls out, leaving your core empty so he can watch his seed spill from you. His voice is cruel as he chuckles, watching you intently, “So eager to fall apart. I wonder-“ he places his hand on his chin, “do you enjoy it? The descent, the collapse? It seems to come so naturally to you.”

You're not sure how to respond. You don't have the strength or mind to argue, not that he'd ever listen to anything you say anyway. Not that you mind being treated in such a manner…

He leans in close, his nose pressed to the shell of your ear, his breath hot, sending chills through your tired body, “Each time I think you've hit the bottom, you find a new way to disappoint me. It's an art form, really, your knack for disappointing me."

You don't have the strength to move. He grabs your chin and forces your head to the side, making you look at him, his lips against your skin, his words a dark, twisted promise, “You’re not worth my time I’m afraid, only good for one thing and that’s a hole for me to fill. But don’t worry, if you wish to get off little mouse, Haarlep will happily keep you company.”

You wanted to tell him no, that you’d do better, that you’d get him the crown and all would be well, that you worshiped him like some kind of god- like an archdevil, but the words wouldn’t come. And even if they did, would it matter? You know this is what your devil likes, tormenting you. Using you, breaking you... Watching as Haarlep his precious incubus fucks the almost ever living life out of you. Stroking his cock as you call out to him while impaled on Haarlep’s grossly thick cock.

This was your life now, a plaything for the devil and all you could do was nod with a lazy fucked out smile. Your body limp as Raphael lifts you up, tossing you on his bed near Haarlep’s lap, “do try to make this an entertaining performance, Haarlep.”

The incubus nods, lifting you into their lap, “Oh, little pet~” Haarlep moans, their hands roaming over your tired body.

Raphael chuckles, sitting on a plush chair across from the bed, a bottle of wine in hand as he watches the show.

[drowninginblox]

"Night Crawler, my beloved,"

After a week, you stopped thinking about it. The likes and reblogs calmed and soon enough you were feeling even better than you normally did. Honesty, getting such an awful secret out was one of the best things that ever happened to you. Your fellow X-men could see it too. You were sharper in the training room and far more lax when you taught. Even Logan made a comment about it and you barely know the man. For lack of a better term- it was euphoric. That was until Kurt noticed you and waved you over.

"Oh! Oh! Y/n! You will not believe what I just saw-" You tried not to panic- taking a deep breath through a smile before walking to Kurt. "Oh hey, Kurt- what's up?" He was jumping from how excited he was "I was looking through that one app- the hellscite you were rambling about-" Oh no.

"And I struck gold- look at this!" He shoved his phone into your face- sure enough it was your post. You chuckled awkwardly. "Oh- uh, that is it?" Kurt laughs. "It's a love letter! A confession! Ein geständnis für mich!" You slowly nod, biting the inside of your cheek "O-Oh. Wow- um... congratulations?" Could you vacate New York in under twenty-four hours without altering the X-Men? Probably. Depending on how this conversation goes, the risk may be worth it.

"I can't believe it! I've seen stories and art but this- mein gott... ich weiß es nicht! Es ist wirklich wunderschön... wunderbare syntax. Definitely creepy." You swallow down a bundle of nerves. What dose this mean? "Oh um, how so?" You mumble. "Y/n this is a fan, they're reading me like a book and talking like I'm Jesus. Hold one-" He scrolls through his phone, the realization of what he's doing makes your throat dry. "Oh- Kurt you don't have to-"

"'... If I told him that he is the affinity of being touched by heaven’s light. If only I could tell him that his eyes were the sun at its brightest and his skin was the mark of where he came from.' Mein gott- Bin ich jetzt eine religion für sie? Y/n, these people are sick right?" He looks up at you, eyes bright with enthusiasm- expecting you to agree. "Oh- Well, uh- yeah. They kind of amp it up do they?" You mumble. Kurt only laughs "Hold on- wait it gets better, 'That he is not the byproduct of sin but rather a gift to humanity dressed in the touches of angels.' What is that? How delusional are they? Sie reden, als wäre ich die wiederkunft Christi!" You can only look away as he tears further into your words.

"Oh- Oh- and later- 'What I would do to hold his face in my hands-' Yeah, keep dreaming! 'I would happily hold his hand in public, kisS-! KISS?!" He glances between the post and you expectantly, only to see you withdraw. "What's wrong mein Freund?" He asks, his posture growing straighter at the realization that this wasn't the time to joke. "It's... It's nothing Kurt, I don't think I feel too good. I'll have to take a raincheck on our walk today, okay?" You start to turn and walk away only for Kurt to grab your wrist loosely. "Hey, did I do something wrong?" You shake your head, putting on a friendly smile that only comes out as bittersweet. "No, no Kurt- You're fine. You're the same as you always are, it's not you. I just feel a little sick." He eases although his eye reads otherwise. "Are you sure? If it's something I said-" You shake your head. "No. Please don't blame yourself. You didn't do anything wrong." You assure. "I'm just a little sick Kurt, honest." He looks you over for a moment before letting go of your wrist. "If you say so," You walk away before he even starts, heading up to your room and texting Ororo if she could cover your lesson for you. You don't wait for a reply back to flop onto your bed and just let loose. Raw emotion and your mutation lead to absolute, but controlled, chaos as your heart breaks at the reality you live in.

You shouldn't be mad, you knew the risk and its likely outcome. But you can't help but sob. Because unlike all those other posters, you were the closest one to the real deal. And even though he has no idea that it was you- it still hurts like hell. The sadness of your rejection carried on to all the others that watch from afar- hoping and praying that he could save them too. All the while you and Kurt laughed behind their backs. Yet you can't help but envy them- at least they can live in blissful ignorance.

But you have no idea that Kurt was online that day.

[feyhunter78]

Hi!! I’ve been thinking about that one scene in 10 Things I Hate About You, when Patrick walks Kat to the swings when she’s drunk and he says “Leave it to you to use big words when you're shitfaced.” Except! Kat is Nerd Miguel who somehow ended up drunk at some frat party or something, and Patrick is reader who has to deal with his antics. I imagine him spewing random scientific words/facts that reader tries her best to understand. All while she’s just trying to sober him up a bit. This lil scenario has been running through my head, and who best to share with than you!

(The chokehold you’re Miguel, specifically nerd Miguel, has on me is insane! It’s a great distraction while at work! <3)

I love that scene so much!!!! I made this a bit different, but I think I still hit the mark for ya anon <3 (Also this is a normal house party bc guys that are not in a frat are not allowed to attend frat events just like with sororities!)

House Parties

Art cred: Treelover_5

Nerd!Miguel masterlist

You weave through Brett’s parents’ guest house on the edge of town, downing your drink as you search for Miguel. It was really nice of Brett to invite you and Miguel to his pre-winter break bash. You know Miguel doesn’t party much, and Brett has been trying to encourage him to come out of his shell, so this was the perfect opportunity.

The sound of chanting draws your attention, and you see Miguel surrounded by a few other friends of Brett’s. Brett seems to be explaining something to him, car keys in hand. You drove here, so you know the keys aren’t Miguel’s, which makes you feel a bit better.

“Chug, chug, chug.” They chant, and you watch as Brett and Miguel simultaneously shotgun their beers, the foam dripping down Miguel’s tan skin.

Smash. You think instantly, your brain supplying you with images of what Miguel might look like as he comes up from between your legs, his lips, and chin slick with your arousal.

Then Miguel throws the beer down and throws his arms up victoriously.

Brett finishes, then throws his beer down as well and hooks an arm around Miguel’s neck, bringing him down to his level. “My boy Miguel has done it again! Absolute beast of a man!”

The other guys cheer, and you see Miguel smile shyly.

He’s been gaining in popularity, not that he really cares, nor do you, but it makes you happy that he’s made some new friends. Even if those friends challenge him to shotgun races.

Miguel spots you before you can even breach the circle and latches onto you. “Y/N, I won, did you see?”

Brett gives you a look that means dude should probably get some air, and you nod in response.

“Yeah I did, hey Miguel, you wanna step outside with me?”

“Yes, always.” He says instantly, his lips far too close to your neck for you to feel normal about.

You guide him through the crowd and out the door, his arm slung over your shoulders. He’s so heavy, all those stupid hot muscles making him dead weight as he mumbles to himself incoherently.

“What was that sweet boy?” You ask, when you hear something that sounds like your name.

“Did you know that the hydrochloric acid in the human stomach is so strong it can dissolve metal? Thin metal, mind you, but still, metal.” Miguel says, his cheeks red, his glasses perched precariously on the edge of his nose, and a goofy smile on his face.

“Wow, that’s crazy.” You say, struggling under the weight of him as you try to lug him over to a nearby porch swing, the neatly trimmed grass around you littered with solo cups and soaked with various spilled drinks.

“And beer—beer is twice as fizzy as champagne. I know this for a fact, I had four or so beers? They taste bad, did you know that?”

“Yeah, house parties usually have pretty cheap beer.” You laugh, swaying a little when Miguel leans on you.

“And cheetahs, super inbred, ten thousand years ago, taboos were broken, and now they’re all…ya know, the way they are.” He continues on, letting out a surprise oof, when you slide him onto the white porch swing, the weathered green cushions not doing much to break his fall.

“Very cool, so now can you tell me what the hell you were drinking in the twenty minutes I left you alone? Besides beer? Because Miguel, you are so fucked up.” You ask, sitting next to him, your legs tucked beside you as you turn to face him, an affectionate smile on your face.

He drags a hand down his face, and his glasses fall into his lap. He pouts at them, a small aw leaving his lips.

You pick them up and hand them back to him, and he clumsily puts them back on.

“Brett suggested we do shots before the races, he passed his midterm, we were celebrating with him.”

Fucking Brett. You loved the guy, he was nice, nonthreatening, watched out for you when you were in the Sig Epp house, but he also was a menace, who wanted everyone to be as drunk as he was.

“Miguel, you’re a big guy, but you don’t have Brett’s tolerance.” You pat his chest consolingly.

Miguel looks at you, eyes a little hazy, his shirt unbuttoned far more than it normally would be, his hair ruffled. “I’m tougher than I look.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.” He leans his head back against the swing, staring up at the stars. “You know a cloud can weigh around a million pounds?”

“I did not know that.” You respond, trying to see if you can check his pupils without him noticing.

He notices and rolls his head to face you. “Everyone blames women when they don’t have sons, but it’s actually male genes that decide it.”

“I did know that one, actually.” You say, as you run your hands through his hair, pushing it out of his face.

He smiles, and you swear it’s brighter than any star in the sky. “You’re so smart, y/n.”

You’re taken aback for a second, heat rushing to your cheeks. “Thanks, that means a lot coming from you.”

“So smart and so, so pretty. I know I said it’s on me, but will you give me a girl y/n? I want a daughter with you, my brains, your everything else, she’d be unstoppable.” He says, his words slurring together. Then he falls forward with a yelp, hands, and elbows hitting the dirt.

You sit frozen in shock, staring down at Miguel, before you snap out of it and scramble to help him. “Shit, Miguel, are you okay?”

He holds up his right hand, it’s bleeding. “Just put some sugar on it, it’ll heal faster.”

“Full of fun facts, aren’t you?” It’s another trip back inside to find a sink and a band-aid, his words still bouncing around in your head.

I want a daughter with you.

Fuck, he’s going to kill you one day, and you’ll let him.

Not me doing a little callback to what Miguel thinks at the end of his encounter with drunk y/n hehe

TL: @bat-bae, @nyctophilic0vitnir, @smokeywhalee, @obi-mom-kenobi, @prowlingforfood, @penggion, @crystal-crax, @oharasfilipinawife, @generalkenobitrash, @melsimps, @chrishy973, @farrowroyale, @palesatan, @scaryplanetdestroyer, @denzmallows

[bonny-kookoo]

Can we get cherry jks reaction when Mc finally shows her tattoo to jk😊 thanks

A/N: Warnings for sexual tension

"So." He grins.

"..So." You parrot back, though not as confident.

You're both sitting on his couch again, facing each other. Suddenly, you feel odd. What if he's disappointed by your body? What if he thinks you're a lot prettier than you actually are? And what if he thinks your tattoo is stupid, badly made, or doesn't suit you?

"Do you wanna.. take it off yourself, or..?" He wonders casually, leaning his head a bit to the side.

"..you." You point towards him, unable to really bring yourself to undress. It's not even all that bad- he's gonna be able to see the tattoo without you taking off your bra anyways. You're not gonna have to get naked.

But you kind of want to be, just to see what he thinks of you.

He's clearly scanning your face and rest of you for any sign of discomfort as he scoots closer to you, fingers pulling your shirt out from where you had it tucked into your shorts, before he slowly lifts it up, your hands lift to make it easier for him to pull it over your head.

Of course your underwear would be cute- lace rim sitting snug against your skin, little bows placed right where the straps begin, one singular one right in between the two cups that hold your tits all securely inside.

He actually thought about what they maybe look like. He didn't think they'd look this pretty.

"Can I touch you?" He wonders, and you shrug, before nodding, his hands surprisingly warm as he smiles, before he leans in a little closer. "Lay back for me a little, yeah?" He asks, voice lower than before, less clear, a lot more breathy. You nod, letting him help you lay back down as he sits right over your legs, knees digging into the couch below so that he doesn't put his weight on you.

He pushes up the hem under your bra, but you notice he's struggling a little not to go too far-

so you move your hands and unhook the back of your bra, catching him off guard as his hands leave you, eyes wide open before he laughs, face resting on your stomach, exhale from his nose tickling your skin.

"God damnit woman, give a man a warning!" He scolds, looking back up at you. "I thought I broke it!" He complains, causing you to laugh as well now.

"Sorry." You apologize, and he shakes his head, before he looks back at you. "You can take it off too." You approve, and he licks his lips, gaze now darkening quite a bit at the prospect of being allowed to do something like that.

He looks almost concentrated as he rids you off your underwear, leaving it to hang over the backrest of the couch to not get lost.

"That's, without exaggeration-" He says, leaning back a bit to look at you. "-the best pair of tits I've ever seen." He nods, playfully acting impressed, like an art-critic looking at a painting revealed. "Like, I know I'm supposed to look at the tattoo but wow.. can I touch them?" He wonders, and you nod- his entire demeanor making you feel awfully comfortable.

His palms immediately take the place of your bra earlier, and he personally thinks his hands are a way better fit and sight than the undergarment.

But maybe that's just him.

The moment he finds the tattoo however, he's interested. Fine lines, some already quite faded, no shadowing whatsoever. It's a simple flower design, very pretty, doesn't need any bold colors or more additions to it.

It's fine as it is. Fits you perfectly.

"I could re-trace those lines here. They're almost invisible- which happens a lot with fine line artworks.." He mumbles, before he notices your thighs move together.

Oh?

One look up reveals your flushed face, and only now does he notice the way his fingers must've continuously brushed over your by now hardened nipples. "But maybe I gotta get more familiar with... the client first." he purrs, hands moving as his body moves to lay lower, now his chin touching your stomach. "Hm?" He wonders, and you whine, unsure what to ask for.

How far does he want to even go? Does he want full on sex, or is he still only teasing you?

"Did you know that some girls can cum from only getting their tits touched?" He asks you boldly, and you shake your head, making him grin, before he runs his thumbs over your sensitive buds, a kiss placed right up onto the lowest part of your sternum.

"Wanna see if you're one of them?"

[rottenpumpkin13]

Can we hear about the day Lazard snapped from the firsts shenanigans?

The Day Lazard Finally Snapped

• It all starts when Angeal and Sephiroth are passing through the Skyview Hall when they spot Reeve with a baby in a holder strapped to his chest.

Angeal: Hey Reeve! I didn't know you had a child.

Reeve: I don't. This is my assistant's baby. I allow her to bring him in on occasion since childcare is hard to find. She asked me to watch him while she's in a meeting, but⏤

Sephiroth: What kind of mother abandons her child?

Reeve: ⏤but I have to meet with the editor of Architecture Weekly in ten minutes.

Sephiroth: What kind of mother abandons her child with a strange man who works for Shinra?

Angeal: I'm sorry to hear that, director.

Reeve: Wait, could you two watch him? It'll only be for an hour.

Angeal: I don't think⏤

*Reeve hands the child to Angeal, who is now sweating bullets*

Reeve: Great, thanks! By the way, I'm supposed to be locating some materia that went missing from the inventory this morning. Do you mind finding them for me? Here's the list.

*Reeve hands Angeal the list, Angeal hands the baby to Sephiroth, who holds it like a bomb with his arms outstretched*

Angeal: Reeve, I really don't think we⏤

Reeve: Great! See 'ya!

• Reeve literally sprints away. Angeal looks back at Sephiroth, who has now strapped the baby to the carrier on his chest. Angeal looks down at the list.

Angeal: Three Ifrit summons, sixteen fire materia, nine ice materia, thirty chocobo lures, four petrify materia, and seventeen lightning materia.

Sephiroth: The baby is crying because it wants its mother. I feel a strange kinship with this child.

Angeal: Why would someone need thirty chocobo lures??

Sephiroth: There, there. Don't cry because your mother abandoned you, rejoice because your father isn't Professor Hojo.

*Angeal grows exasperated and turns to Sephiroth*

Angeal: Seph, it's hungry. We need to feed it.

Sephiroth: Where will we find someone with functioning mammary glands on such short notice?

Angeal: FORMULA. GET THE FORMULA IN THE BABY BAG.

*The baby cries more, Sephiroth holds it closer to him*

Sephiroth: You're upsetting our child.

Angeal: IT'S NOT OUR⏤*Angeal takes a deep breath*⏤It's not our child, give it the baby formula, and let's go. We still need to find the culprit behind the stolen materia.

Sephiroth: Do you mind if we stop by Professor Hojo's lab first? I want to show him what competent fathership looks like.

Angeal: No. And you're acting insane. Here, give me the baby.

Sephiroth: I have only had this child for three minutes, but if anyone tries to hurt it or take it away I will kill everyone here.

Angeal: When this is all over, I'm signing you up for art therapy and getting you a cat.

• Lazard is away on a business trip and has left Genesis in charge. He's supposed to be getting work done, but instead he's sitting in Lazard's office with his feet up, reading a romance novel.

Genesis: I don't understand why Lazard complains all the time. This is the easiest position in this company.

•There's a violent crash right outside the office, followed by Zack's voice going "Wow! I didn't know the ceiling was that easy to break."

*Genesis gets up at the speed of light. He runs out and sees Zack and Cloud with tennis rackets*

Genesis: What are you doing? I thought I sent you far away on a mission to Cosmo Canyon.

Zack: We got back early! And since Angeal's busy there's no point in training. Plus, my mission report can wait until Lazard's back.

Genesis: And what's Strife doing here? Last I recall this is the SOLDIER floor, not the Infantrymen Who Look Like Baby Chocobos floor.

Cloud: Could've fooled me. I saw you and thought this was the Sephiroth Is Better Than Me So I Take It Out On Bad Poetry floor.

Genesis: Listen here⏤

*Zack jumps between them*

Zack: We were just playing some tennis! Where's the harm in that?

Genesis:

Genesis: Zack where's the ceiling

*They look up and six ceiling panels are missing*

Zack: We're playing pro tennis.

Genesis: Goddess.

Cloud: But we lost all of our balls and now we can't play anymore.

Genesis: Hm. Have you tried substituting them with something else?

Cloud: Like what?

Genesis: Materia are round and large enough to work.

Zack: Good idea, but we don't have any to spare.

Genesis: I have some.

*Genesis pulls a key out of his pocket, walks across the hall, and unlocks a supply closet where he pulls out a crate full of materia*

Zack: Woah! How many do you have in there?

Genesis: Three Ifrit summons, sixteen fire materia, nine ice materia, thirty chocobo lures, four petrify materia, and seventeen lightning materia.

Cloud: Why does the box say Property Of Shinra Electric Power Company? Wait, did you steal this??

Genesis: There is no such thing as stealing if your victim stole it from the planet.

Zack: Why thirty chocobo lures??

Genesis: Do not presume to question my actions.

• Sephiroth and Angeal have no leads on the missing materia, so they decide to go ask the turks for any information they have. They walk into a conference room where Tseng and Rufus are talking.

Tseng: WHY do you have a baby??

Sephiroth: Two men cannot raise a child without being criticized.

Angeal: We're babysitting.

Rufus: How may we help you?

Angeal: A crate of materia went missing from the inventory. Reeve asked us to locate it. Any chance you have an idea where it went?

Rufus: We were just going over the security footage, actually. A stunning, beautiful woman was seen entering and leaving with the stolen materia.

Tseng: Come take a look.

*They walk over and watch the security footage*

Sephiroth:

Angeal:

Angeal: That's GENESIS.

Tseng: Impossible. I had no idea Rhapsodos was a master of disguise.

Sephiroth: He's not even in disguise. He wore that dress to a Loveless performance yesterday. *said while he rocks the baby to sleep*

Rufus: Sephiroth, would you mind accompanying me to meet my father? I'd like to show him what adequate fathership looks like.

Sephiroth: Gladly.

Angeal: *exasperated* We'll get the materia back from Genesis, don't worry. There's no need to get involved, and we'll make him promise not to do it again.

Tseng: Actually, the issue is much more annoying. You see, the crate he stole contained faulty materia. We're not sure they even work, but if they do there might be some...explosive consequences.

Angeal: Don't worry, knowing Genesis, he's hording the materia somewhere until the search dies down and hasn't actually used it yet.

*The baby hasn't fallen asleep and is wide awake*

Sephiroth: Of course, how could I be so foolish? The baby needs to be tired out through playtime and proper enrichment first.

*Rufus takes a box of ammunition from his coat pocket and uses it as a rattle. The baby laughs*

Tseng: Sir, I don't think that's an appropriate toy for a baby.

Sephiroth: Nonsense. I had that toy when I was younger and I turned out fine.

Angeal: No the fuck you did not.

• Zack and Cloud's tennis match with materia is going smoothly. Genesis has made himself the umpire and is officiating the match. They're in Lazard's office so no one catches them slacking off.

*Cloud hurles a fire materia toward Zack at top speed. Zack shrieks and ducks*

Genesis: Five love.

Zack: No fair! He's just aiming it right at me!

Cloud: Because you're my opponent. That's how tennis works.

*Cloud sends another chocobo lure Zack's way that hits him right in the face*

Genesis: Six love.

Zack: WE GET IT, YOU'RE OBSESSED WITH LOVELESS. SHUT UP.

Genesis: ......

Cloud: I really need to get back and start getting ready for patrol tonight.

Zack: Nooo, come on! Just one more try! I'll beat you, you just watch.

• Cloud sighs and readies himself. Zack grabs a lightning materia and serves. Cloud hits the materia when it reaches him. Except this time it fuses with the tennis racket and starts hissing and billowing smoke. Cloud panics and lets the tennis racket drop. It starts glowing and vibrating.

• All of the littered materia on the office floor start emitting the same low whistle and vibrating, all at once.

• Genesis senses the incoming explosion. He grabs Zack and Cloud and dives under the desk.

• Lazard comes back from his business trip early. He's in the elevator thinking about the decision to leave Genesis in charge. He had initially meant to bequeath Sephiroth the responsibility, but felt for Genesis. They're always placing him second next to Sephiroth, constantly berating and expecting the worst from him.

• He thinks it's unfair. Genesis is one of the most competent SOLDIERs in the program. He's hardworking, responsible and authoritive. There's no doubt in Lazard's mind that everything is running smoothly in his absence.

*Lazard opens his office door*

• The three Ifrit summons went off and are raging, smashing the walls and ceilin. The fire materia also went off and now everything is on fire. It's shooting fire balls and one of them burned the office door clean off, shattering the glass. The ice materia has caused a raging blizzard inside the office and everything that isn't on fire is freezing over. The lightning materia is causing firework-like explosions to go off.

• Lazard stands there for a good five minutes, petrified (literally) (the petrify materia hit him)

• Once the last blast of lightning goes off and things seem to have quieted down, Genesis, Zack and Cloud poke their heads up from under the desk.

Zack: Hey, director! We didn't expect you back so early!

Cloud: How was the business trip? Have fun?

Genesis: My, my, director, that suit makes you look dashing. Have you done something to your hair?

• It's a poor choice of words because half of Lazard's hair is on fire.

*Angeal runs in*

Angeal: Genesis, you crook. Did you use Lazard's access card to steal all that materia?? Do you know how mad he's going to be when he finds out? He's already in trouble with upper management because he left you in charge.

*Zack points to Lazard in the corner, Angeal turns around*

Angeal: Oh. Oh no.

• And then the chocobo lures go off. Thirty grown chocobos come speeding into the office, two of them knocking Lazard to the ground.

• And then, as if things couldn't possibly get any worse, Sephiroth runs in with the baby.

Sephiroth: Angeal, how dare you abandon me and our child??

Angeal: Oh my god.

• The Firsts and Zack are sitting in the briefing room when Tseng walks in.

Tseng: Good morning. As you all know, Lazard has taken a medical leave. I'll be taking his place while he's away.

Genesis: How is he? I tried to visit him in the hospital yesterday, but apparently the mere mention of my name sent him into another cardiac arrest.

Tseng: He's sedated and fine. Don't feel discouraged. Two Seconds went in to visit him this morning, but all it took was one look at a SOLDIER uniform and he started screaming.

Angeal: If he quits, it's on Zack, Gen and Strife. Sephiroth and I were busy hunting materia and babysitting.

Sephiroth: No. You were looking for the materia. I was taking adequate care of the baby and giving it the attention its mother denied it.

Tseng:

Tseng: Sephiroth

Tseng: Sephiroth why do you still have the baby?

*They look over and sure enough, Sephiroth has the baby in a carrier strapped to his chest*

Sephiroth:

Sephiroth: I'm the most competent adult in its life.

[thebest-medicine]

TheBest-Medicine’s Spectacular Summer

Sentence Starter TickleFic Prompts:

Please feel free to send in ideas / fandoms / pairings / prompts including these or use them yourself as some inspiration for some writing or art! honestly I wanted an excuse and some guidance to write out some more tickle fic ideas I’ve been having lately. So anyway here’s 105 fic starters / prompts (somebody stop me).

“Was that a giggle just now?”

“Hey, what do you think you’re doing?

“Come any closer and I will end you.”

“Oh, you shouldn’t have done that..” / “Oh, you shouldn’t have said that..”

“No, I’m just- uh- sensitive.”

“You think you’re real tough, huh?”

“No way, you’re ticklish here too?”

“I’ll have you know, I was the reigning tickle fight champion in my house growing up.”

“Did you just… laugh?”

“Don’t look at me like that.”

“Why are you so nervous all of the sudden?”

“So, what’s this I hear about you being deathly ticklish?”

“I don’t / can’t believe it.”

“Well, well, well… Look what we have here.”

“Don’t even think about it.”

“Come on, stop it - I’m serious, that really tickles!”

“What’s there to be embarrassed about?”

“I swear on my life, I will kill you.”

“Wait, are you stuck?”

“I will never forgive you for this, you bastard / jerk / dick / asshole / expletive.”

“Big talk for someone so ticklish.”

“Don’t make me make you.”

“Wait a minute, you’re not ticklish, are you?”

“Sounds like someone needs a visit from the tickle monster.”

“Well now you’re just asking for it.”

“Wow. You’re bold.”

“I hope you know that this means war.”

“You wouldn’t happen to be ticklish, would you?”

“Be careful, I’m ticklish (there).”

“Uh oh, someone’s in trouble.”

“Come on, it’s not that bad, is it?”

“Who would have thought a few tickles would be your doom?”

“You wouldn’t.”

“You’re in for it as soon as we’re alone.”

“What? Me? Ticklish? As if!”

“A little birdie told me someone has ticklish feet / sides / knees / etc.”

“Wait - no, not that, anything but that!”

“You can’t be serious…”

“What did you just say?”

“I’ve never heard you laugh like that before, it’s nice.”

“I never thought I’d see the day…”

“No way, are you crying / begging?”

“Lighten up, have a laugh!”

“You wouldn’t take advantage (of that knowledge) when I’m stuck like this, right? …Right?!”

“Heh. That all you’ve got?”

“I’m not letting you off that easy.”

“Make me.”

“You would think you’d get less ticklish as you got older, but you’re the opposite!”

“It’s not your fault you’re so ticklish.”

“Please, I can’t take it anymore!”

“Oh you’d like / love that, wouldn’t you?”

“What about (name), (are they) ticklish?” “Huh? What - me?!”

“Hmm, looks like the tables have turned…”

“Oh man, is this a bad spot?”

“Please! I’ll do whatever you want!”

“I never would’ve pegged you as the ticklish type.”

“You better not tell anyone about this.”

“I can think of a few ways to make you talk.”

“Why so nervous?”

“Don’t- don’t you dare! Don’t even t-think about it!”

“You’d better keep quiet.”

“I haven’t seen you smile all day / week!”

“Too bad there’s nothing you can do about it.”

“Relax, I’m not gonna kill ya. But I am gonna make you wish you were dead.”

“I just wanna be close to you.”

“Don’t tell me you’re ticklish?!”

“Well now, that seems like wishful thinking.”

“What’s that? Stop saying tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle?”

“You have five seconds to run.”

“Wait, not there - anywhere but there!”

“This isn’t cuddling! This is an attack!”

“As soon as I get out of this I hope you know I’m going to murder you.”

“I hope you’re not too ticklish.”

“Oh man, that looks bad.”

“Uh, oh. Someone’s ticklish.”

“Don’t tell me you’ve been hiding this all this time?!”

“There’s nowhere to hide.”

“Aww, are you blushing? That’s adorable.”

“You’re not going anywhere.”

“You should know better than to try to keep secrets from me.”

“What did I just say!?”

“You’re not really gonna tickle me, are you?”

“I didn’t think you had it in you.”

“You’d better give up now or this is about to get a lot worse.”

“Don’t be an idiot.”

“Crap. Wait. I didn’t mean that.”

“…That was brutal.”

“We don’t have time for such childish— hey! Stop it!”

“Wait no- Not here- Not now!”

“Just wait until I get you back.”

“Have mercy!”

“Hey are you guys okay? I heard yelling (from the hall / outside) and— oh.”

“Oh? And what if I did?”

“Revenge is so, so sweet.”

“You can’t be serious!?”

“What are you so scared of? It’s just a feather / brush / etc.”

“Oh, sorry, did that tickle?”

“There it is! That laugh is music to my ears.”

“Don’t make me get your (worst spot).”

“Would you just shut up and tickle me already?”

“You’re in for it now!”

“You are so going to regret that.”

“Let’s make it interesting.”

“What, did you think you were just going to get away with that?”

“Hey, a bet’s a bet.”

[detectivestucks]

The Bet

18+ Content, Minors do NOT interact

Pairing: Tobi x F!Reader

Summery: You are relatively new to the Akatsuki and your best friends Konan makes a wager with you. When you lose, you're forced to take Tobi on a date.

Warnings: NSFW, canon violence, mentions of biting, fingering, oral-male receiving, unprotected penetration, facial.

Word Count: 4.8k

Anon Ask via DM: Been getting a lot of Kakashi request so I was happy to write for Obito again :)

Tobi always had eyes for you. 

Nothing happens in the Akatsuki without his approval but when Konan asked Pain to let you join their troop of miscreants, Tobi overwhelmingly approved of Pain’s decision. You were skilled, vicious, and adorable. You captured the attention of every man you came across. Even when fighting enemies your beauty captivated them. They shamelessly flirted with you as you battle to the death.

“Come on gorgeous, why don’t you drop the katana and I‘ll take you on a nice date?”

“Wow, strong and beautiful. Maybe after this I can take you to dinner.”

“Keep trying to kill me and I might just ask you to marry me.”

The pick up lines were pathetic and met with a resounding rejection that was usually followed by ending their lives. 

Yes, Tobi had eyes for you alright. He felt a twinge of envy for anyone who joined you on missions because you were a brilliant sight to behold when you hunted your target down. You weren't a victim to the harsh realities of the shinobi world. You were the harsh reality of the shinobi world. 

Always hanging around with Konan, the two of you whisper to each other whenever you’re at the hideout between missions. The other members always came over to talk to you, trying to impress you with boyish charm and corny pick up lines. They would leave you in a fit of giggles and whispers while Tobi watched from a distance. He wanted you as much as the other guys but he had a double life to worry about. He’d leave the rest of the crew to hopelessly fawn over you and your seemingly high standards. 

One afternoon the two of you are chatting away in the corner of the main room laughing at Deidara and Hidan who are putting on an impressive display for you both when Tobi walks through. He runs up to his partner and clings onto him for dear life, pretending to be a damsel in distress

“Oh Deidara! There was a mean man outside! Make him go away with your very impressive art.”

He tilts his head to the side and you just know he’s batting his lashes below his mask. You and Konan crack up at his ridiculous mini play. You enjoyed Tobi. He was funny and pissed Deidara off constantly. He was the much needed comic relief amongst a bunch of moody, brooding, arrogant rogue shinobi. However out of all the guys in the gang he was the only one you weren’t interested in. Even Zetzu had a better chance ending up between your legs than the orange masked idiot.

Konan sees you laugh a little too hard at Tobi and nuzzles her lips against your ear,

“What do you think Tobi’s like on a date?”

“Oh gods I hope I never have to find out. He’d probably cling to his girlfriend the way he hangs on Deidara.”

You both snicker at that, certain it’s true.

“Care to make a wager then?”

Konan piques your interest and you lift a brow at her.

“Next mission, the woman with the least kills asks Tobi on a date.”

You turn to her with your mouth open. “Konan! You seriously are willing to keep living here if you lose?”

“Oh I’m not losing.” she says, crossing her arms.

“Well I’m sure as hell not losing either.”

The both of you continue to stare at your animated comrades when you speak again.

“What does the winner get?”

Konan snorts “Not going on a date with Tobi.” 

“Besides that!”

“I don’t know.: She thinks for a quick second. “They have to invite their crush into their bedroom.”

Your eyes dart around the room, not sure who to choose. There were a lot of guys in your gang that you wanted to sleep with. Pain was off limits cause of Konan but Kisame was ripped and had that sexy predator thing going for him. You bet he bites and when he does, it breaks the skin. Then he probably soothes your wounds by licking up the blood while he fucks you stupid on his cock. 

Your eyes pan over to pretty boy Deidara who was gorgeous with hair you wanted to pull while his mouth lapped between your legs. You thought about all the sinful things the mouths on his hands would do to you and it makes you cross your legs.

You look at Hidan who was crazy hot and twisted. You could see him getting freaky during your period and you wanted to surrender to the ‘way of jashin’ for just one night, letting him do whatever he wanted to your naked body. 

Lastly you peer over at the quiet Itachi. Reserved, kept to himself, and well mannered. The kind of guy you could bring home to your mama but was probably a filthy boy in bed. You imagine him slapping you and calling you degrading names while his eyes glow red.

“Can’t decide, huh?” Konan says with a light jab. 

“Well not all of us joined the Akatsuki with our childhood crush.”

“Don’t worry, you won’t have to choose. Cause you’re gonna lose.”

You open your mouth and look at her pretending to be gobsmacked. “Oh it’s on!”

****************************************************

Konan picked a good time to wager her little bet cause your next mission was a full fledged raid. One thing you envied about Konan was her ability to make shuriken out of paper, leaving her with an endless supply of weapons while utilizing minimal physical effort. You on the other hand had incredible speed but only two kunai and a katana at your disposal. No one could match your lightning speed, not even the raikage himself. But you could still only attack up to two targets at a time. 

The night was long and the body count was high.

…and Konan was kicking your ass. 

You were desperately trying to take out more targets than her but her range was so much farther than yours. You were needlessly brutal, terrified of the horrible date night that was to come at the end of the mission. The first rays of light shone over the rooftops when the two of you finally made your retreat. 

“Your count?”

“78” you pant

“Ha! I win! 102”

“Shut up!”

She only smiles back at you.

“Fuck! Now I have to ask out Tobi.”

“Sucks to suck”

“Oh gods, what if he wants me to suck his dick?!”

“You better open wide.”

You shove her off the tree she jumped on but she caught herself by creating paper wings and flew the rest of the way home. Smug bitch.

You meet up just outside of the hideout, entering together. As soon as you walk through the threshold Konan begins to shout. 

“Tobi! Y/N needs you!”

“I hate you so much right now.” You grumble under your breath.

She sticks her tongue out at you, “Deal with it. I’m gonna go find Pain.”

She leaves in a twirl just as Tobi timidly enters the room. 

“You needed me, Y/N?”

“Yes…I have something to ask you.”

Tobi just stands there, staring at you behind his mask, head eerily tilted to the side. Gods he’s so creepy. You begin to wring your hands in front of your stomach, building the courage to ask the dreaded question.

“Tobi…would you…” you bite your lower lip in the most adorable way and Tobi can feel his heart twist in his chest. “Would you go on a date with me?”

“Oh.”

You stare at him, unsure of what to make of his response. Maybe he was going to reject you. Maybe you won’t have to go on a date at all. Thank the heavens.

“What do you have in mind?”

“I-uh…” Fuck! Now I have to plan the date too?! Konan I’m gonna kill you. “I hadn’t decided yet.”

There was a moment of silence between the two of you.

“Do you want to go or not? Cause I can go ask one of the others if you’re not interested.”

Tobi scratches the back of his neck and responds in his childish tone.

“Geh, Y/N, I’d be happy to go on a date with you.” He brings his hands together in front of him and tilts his head to the side in a feminine display, “I just wasn’t expecting it is all.”

It took everything in you not to cringe so instead you force a laugh. Maybe he was just trying to be funny. Yeah, that’s it, he was trying to be funny. 

That night you get dressed in a long flowy pale pink skirt with slits along each thigh and a fitted cream colored top with corset detailing around the bust. You hoped one of the other guys saw you in it and would knock on your door later to show you how a real man treats a woman. For now, though, you needed to focus on making it through your date with Tobi.

He knocks on your bedroom door and you walk over to answer it. Tobi stands before you in a fitted black shirt and black pants covered in a long black kimono adorned with a dark gray geometric pattern. It wasn’t a bad look but he hid every inch of his body from everyone as usual.

“Wowzah!”

You smile and roll your eyes. “What, never seen a proper woman before?”

You turn around and retreat back into your room to grab your cream square heels, sliding them on while balancing yourself with Tobi’s arm. 

“So where are we going?”

You look at him and smile playfully “You’ll see.”

You grab Tobi’s hand and pull him through the hideout, heading towards the exit. As you walk through the common area, Tobi looks to the side and sees the jaws of Hidan, Deidara, and Zetzu fall to the floor. He can’t help but feel a swell of pride at their jealousy. 

The date, however, was terribly awkward. You tried your best to be flirty but you had no way of telling how Tobi felt. You couldn’t see him smile or blush. You couldn’t tell if he was staring at you with interest or anger. It was extremely one sided and uncomfortable. You did your best to sell the lie but it was probably painfully obvious that you didn’t want to be holding hands with a big masked baby. 

On the way home you sway as you walk next to him, both arms hugging his right one, trying to maintain a normal conversation. It occurs to you that this might be your only chance to ask the burning question everyone in the Akatsuki is thinking.

“Tobi? Why do you wear the mask?”

“Because I don’t want anyone to see my face of course!”

You roll your eyes. “Okay but why don’t you want anyone to see your face?”

“That’s for Tobi to know.”

You shake your head “What, you ugly or something?” You squeeze his bicep flirtatiously. “You get stuck in a house fired and are covered in scars?”

Tobi goes stiff in your hold. You drop his arm and bring both your hands up to your mouth.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry. I was only joking!”

Tobi walked next to you in silence. If you thought it was awkward before, that was nothing compared to the embarrassment you felt now. 

“Tobi, you’d have nothing to be embarrassed about you know. It’s not like you’re the only freak in the circus. I mean. Kisame is practically a shark, Sasori lived inside a puppet, and Hidan drinks blood to become a skeleton.” A hot ass skeleton but Tobi doesn’t need to know that. “We’re all weirdos.”

Tobi still doesn’t speak but his body relaxes some. He was getting a little easier to read but you still couldn’t wait for the night to be over. He creeped you out and you still had no respect for him. He was a fool even if he was kinda funny. 

You finally make it back to the hideout and much to your disappointment, everyone has gone to bed. Tobi walks you to your side of the hideout next to Konan’s room and awkwardly gives you two pats on the shoulder before telling you he was off to bed in his high pitched kid’s tone.

You turn to unlock your room with a signature roll of your eyes relieved the night was over.

“Pfh, what a loser, bet he’s never even made a girl cum in his life.”

As Tobi’s walking away he overhears you and stops dead in his tracks. He knows that he’s playing a fool but it wouldn’t hurt to teach you some manners and show you who’s really in charge of the Akatsuki while he’s at it.

Just as you open your door you feel two gloved hands tightly grip your biceps. Someone had snuck up behind you.

“What’d you say?”

The voice was rich and deep. It was a cold blanket that covered you with fear and made chills creep down your back. Your breath falters. You didn't dare turn your head.

“Tobi?”

He pushes you into your room with a finger shoved into your spine between your shoulder blades.

“Would you like to test that little theory?”

You turn around, face painted in fear as you search Tobi’s orange mask for answers. He slams the door closed behind him. Tearing off his robe as he swiftly steps forward causing you to retreat away from him backwards. You’re too distracted by the sudden change in his demeanor to notice the bulging muscles poking through his skin tight shirt before he picks up a shoe and throws it against the wall to kill the lightswitch. 

You reach your arms in front of you, ready to push him away but he somehow passes through them and has a grip on your hair while he is sucking on the skin of your neck. An involuntary pleasured grunt escapes you, realizing he discarded his mask and has his lips locked on your skin. You keep trying to push him off but every time your hands pass through him while his grip against your hair remains solid. You couldn’t figure out how it worked but you were starting to no longer care as he created various bruises along your collarbone. You begin to pant slightly, feeling arousal pool between your legs from how he nibbled against your sensitive flesh. Your mind was slowly fogging over and in your haze you wanna hear his voice again.

“T-talk to me. I wanna hear you s’more”

“And say what, Princess? Tobi isn’t my real name?”

His voice was smooth and intimidating. It made your eyes roll to the back of your head. You lean your face against his.

“Yes, tell me more.” you whisper

“What do you want to hear? That I’m the actual mastermind behind the Akatsuki and you are all my little puppets?”

You begin to lift your leg and wrap it around his waist. Panting from how his baritone tickled your mind.

“or that I’m going to fuck you like a whore right now and turn you into my personal concubine.”

“Yes”

You lunge for his lips, hands clawing the back of his head to pull him into you. You had never been so attracted to a voice in your life. You had no clue what he looked like but you knew he had adorably messy hair and scars on his face. You could feel the tough skin with your lips. He backed you all the way over to your bed and switched places with you so that he could take a seat before pulling you into his lap. 

You straddled him, your heat pressing over his concealed boner, while you feverishly made out with him in the pitch black room. Your kisses left his lips and traveled over the ridges of his face, sucking and breathing on the battered skin he was afraid to show, before you licked a stripe up his cheek. 

He anchored you at your hips and pulled you down on him while he rutted up into you. You cried a needy moan into his ear as your fingers played in his hair. 

“My, my, I think I can make you cum without even touching you. You’ve got yourself all worked up over a little conversation and sitting in my lap.”

You groan at the sound of his voice and begin to grind on him, needing the friction while you kiss his lips. You rub your chest against him as you work yourself up into a frenzy. He reaches behind you, looking for how to take off your shirt when he gives up and opts to rip it off of you instead. 

You let out a small cry, partly in awe of his raw strength but partly because that was one of your favorite tops. 

“I don’t tolerate anything getting in my way.”

“Uh-huh” you agree breathily, cupping his face in your hands, recapturing his lips with yours. As much as you want to keep hearing that velvet voice, you want the lips that form the words to be interlocked with yours. Your arms wrap around his neck as you push your barren chest against his clothed one. His hands explored your soft back. You were glad to feel his fingertips dance over your skin and not his leather gloves. You wondered if you’d get to feel all of him tonight. You could tell how toned he was through his clothes and were dying to lick and nibble his chest. 

“Tobi,” you pant against his face, “please make me cum.”’

He hums and grabs you at your thighs flipping you onto your back and kneeling over you. Your hands continue to explore all over his upper body, running up from his forearms to his biceps, sliding over his delts, and tracing down his traps before sinking your nails into his rhomboids. He grunts into your neck. Arousal puddling in your underwear at the sound. 

You wrap your legs around his waist, lifting your hips and grinding into him some more. Panting and needy, the mystery of him increasing your desire. Tobi grabs the front panel of your skirt and pulls it aside, yanking your panties out of the way. You drag your lips along his jaw. 

One of Tobi’s fingers traces along your slit, collecting some of your slick and smearing it along your sensitive nub hidden within your folds. You twitch from the sudden contact and can feel him smile against your face.

“Someone's sensitive.”

A high pitched “mhm” comes from you as you push your face against his. His thumb casually rubs circles between your legs. Shuddered moans expel into Tobi’s ear as your arms slide back up to Tobi’s neck and wrap around him tightly. He lets a finger slip past your entrance, stroking in and out twice before being joined by a second. 

Your eyes snap shut. He pumps his fingers in and out of you. Your head falls back in pleasure as he scissors you open, playing you like a violin. You squeeze around him, soaking in how it feels to be touched for the first time in over a month. Back in your village you were a menace and well hated but you were never short of male companionship, even if it always ended terribly. Once you officially became a rogue ninja the world was much more lonely than expected. You had imagined it would be different once you joined the Akatsuki but to your own surprise, you didn’t take a lover till tonight. Short of breath you manage to wheeze out,

“Thank you Tobi”

“Good girl, you know your manners.” 

His condescending praise filled you with butterflies when spoken in his bassy tone. You respond by nibbling on his lower lip. You so badly wanted to rip off his clothes but you didn’t dare, too afraid he’d stop. Instead you softly beg into his ear,

“Please shove your cock into me.”

“Of course, Princess. How can I say no when you ask so nicely.”

A small cry of excitement whines past your lips. He darkly chuckles at your neediness. What a sharp turn from the bitch who tried to make a mockery of him by asking him on a date as a joke.

He’d make you pay for that. He intentionally wasn’t pursuing you before but since you sought him out with your farce, now he’d take full ownership of you. You were going to be his property now. He wasn’t talking dirty when he said you’d become his concubine. He meant it. You’d be chained to him, only let off your tether during missions. 

He opens the front of his pants and slips into your quivering entrance, stretching you uncomfortably as he pushed his excessive girth into you. A pleasured wail drew from your mouth.

“What a good girl. Tell me Princess, do you want more?”

“Yes!”

You cry the word. He pulled back slowly just to plunge back in. You sink down into your mattress, getting shoved into it deeper with every inward thrust. It was rough. There was nothing gentle about the way he fucked you. His swollen head pummeled into you, dislocating all your organs. He folded you in half as he pushed in. Your knees found a new home by your ears, his body pinning the backs of your legs, pushing your thighs against your chest. In the darkness he could see the whites of your eyes as they rolled back in your head to look at your melting brain. 

Your mouth was left agape. You were babbling and drooling from his dick dragging in and out of you. You swear you’d never been fucked so good in your life. He brought you to tears on his schlong, pistoning in and out of you. Your nails digging into his back once more.

“Gods damn, Princess!”

Tobi was struggling to maintain his domineering composure. He was losing himself inside of your pussy. It gripped around him tightly. The pink muscle constricted around his member, attempting to milk him before he was ready.  “Eager little fucking slut.”

He husked between thrusts. You body fell limp. You became a rag doll under him. The only part of your body that was tense was your gummy walls which held onto him with a death grip. He pushed his sweaty forehead against yours. Holding the back of your head.

“Fuck this pretty pussy. It belongs to me now. You belong to me. Understand?”

You wished you could’ve answered. You would’ve told him yes. You would've told him that you’d never leave his side. That you’d bend over for him anywhere. You’d wrap around his dick whenever he needed you to. You would willingly degrade yourself in the middle of battle if he wanted. You were addicted to him and you weren’t ashamed to admit it. 

His speed increased. He was about to cum. He brought himself all the way to the edge before he pulled out. 

“Stick out your tongue, Princess.”

You opened wide as he shot his load all over your face and chest. Your body still bent in half; your feet resting over his shoulders. He took the palm of his hand and smeared his fluids all over you. Rubbing the glossy substance into your skin and pushing it into your mouth. You hummed happily which made him melt. He allowed your body to unfold and laid his full weight on top of you, arms possessively threading around your waist and pulling you close. 

You lost your breath. Your mind became a swimming intoxicated mess in his hold. You nuzzled your face further into his shirt while his cum dried on your face and skin. He never undressed. His shirt still on, his pants pulled up. He was a complete mystery to you and now you were invested in solving it. You were his but he was about to be yours just as much. Soon, you’d break him…soon. For now you slept sheltered in his arms.

****************************************************

The next day you both emerge from your room close to noon. The majority of the members of the gang were rough housing together in the common area. All turned still as you came out holding hands with Tobi.

“Holy hell…”

“You two?”

“Are you fucking kidding me?!”

You couldn’t bring yourself to make eye contact with any of them and instead chose to look up at Tobi’s mask. Eyes locked on the face you weren’t sure you’d ever see. Tobi though had a far different reaction. A smug idea popped into his sick mind. It was time to show everyone that you had an owner now and he wasn’t going to entertain any of these brutes trying to encroach on his possession. In his childish voice he called to his comrades.

“Look at my new toy everyone!”

He yanked on your hand so that you were whipped around standing in front of him, your back to the room. 

“Y/N, suck Tobi’s cock. hmm?”

“Yes, sir”

It was embarrassing and made your face heat up but you felt your mouth water as you knelt down before him nonetheless. On your knees, you open the front of his robe and untie his pants, pulling out his thick cock.

“What the hell…” you hear Konan behind you in complete disbelief. 

You let his pulsing length rest on your bottom lip while you look up at him. His chest rumbles as you slip your tongue out and under his weighty member before opening wide and sliding him all the way down your throat. He grips your hair with one hand before looking up at the shocked faces around the room.

“Y/N belongs to Tobi now. Look how good she’s taking my dick, slurping on it like a good little pet!”

Lewd gargles and squelching sounds came from your mouth as you bobbed back and forth along his cock. He was humiliating you in front of everyone and it was making you wet for him. Your hand came between your legs to rub yourself.

“Aww how precious. She’s even playing with herself for me. You see that everyone?”

You wanted to die from embarrassment but you couldn’t help yourself. The taste of him is addicting. He had you out of your mind.

“Here Princess, let me help you.”

He brings both hands into your hair and pushes you down on him. He thrusts into you at the same time causing you to gag around him. You hear him grumble in delight. You open your jaw and allow him to plummet all the way in. Throat constricting around his tip as it slips past your vocal cords. You hum in contentment, forgetting about everyone watching you. You close your eyes focusing on him and how he feels in your mouth. One hand rubbing your clit more harshly while the other clutches his thigh. 

Tobi’s facade almost slipped. He felt high from the way your warm mouth closed around him. He had half a mind to say he loved you. He opted instead to cease talking so as not to give away his cover and instead simply grunted as his hips snapped into your mouth. 

The remainder of the room watched in stunned silence at the pornographic scene before them. They watch the orange mask fall backwards, looking up at the ceiling as Tobi was close to cumming. The jealousy Deidara felt had him storm out of the room. Konan had an uncomfortable guilt crawl over her skin but little did she understand, you were in heaven. You whimper as you touch yourself, bringing yourself close to an orgasm. The sounds make Tobi hammer into you faster until you feel his hot spend shoot down your throat. Your walls clench around nothing and you bring both arms to wrap around Tobi’s wait, holding yourself all the way down on him as you hug around his waist. 

Tobi so badly wanted to coo in your ear and praise you. Tell you what a good girl you were but he couldn’t muster his carefree sound. Instead he pulls himself out of you and grabs your wrist. He yanks you back into your bedroom and slams you up against the door with the two of you on the other side. 

“Fuck Y/N, you’re such a good girl for me. Here, let me reward you.”

You mewl for him, your lip quivering at the return of his deep voice. He twists his mask to the side gaining you access to his lips. You pull them into you while he lifts you up, slipping his wet length between your folds and fucking you against the door.

The banging can be heard by the group on the other side, sitting in the common area.

“Shit…it was supposed to be a stupid prank.” Konan confesses. “What the hell happened last night?”

If only they knew…

Masterlist

[morning-sun-brah]

First Impressions

Art by @sha-biest

(This AU is jointly created and entered into by myself and @sha-biest)

@tmnt-ocxcanon-comp

First Impressions;

As far as first impressions go, Mikey and Hassan got off to a rough start. Mikey spent the better part of a full day behind Hassan’s law office, commissioned to add a mural to the back wall to deter graffiti. Too bad Hassan forgot his assistant had hired him, because when he was leaving the office for the night, he mistook Mikey for a criminal…

“Hey kid, what the fuck? Can’t you go do this shit in the Bowery?” 

Mikey’s eyes narrowed at the figure approaching him, the irritated tone shooting through him like a lance. The man was tall (not as tall as his brothers had grown, but still well taller than Mikey himself- who only stood at 5'8), with dark skin and black hair rich in the bath of the LED light. His suit was crisp and well-fitted, and he stood with a leather satchel strapped over his shoulder, one hand on his hip as he narrowed his eyes at the mutant. 

“C’mon,” the man was rumbling in a chastising tone. “They just cleaned the last graffiti up.” 

Dark eyes swept an irritated glance over Michelangelo, and it suddenly clicked in his mind what was being implied. Mikey felt a wash of annoyance roll through his shoulders. 

“Wow, you’re really fucking dumb,” Mikey clipped, and the man who stood before him narrowed his gaze. 

“Excuse-”

“Read your emails much? How many taggers do you think set up a flood light and announce their presence, you walnut?” Mikey snapped, shaking the can in his hand idly and giving the man an eye roll that was all Donatello- perfected by years of watching his older brother perform the motion. “You think I just, what? Roll out the red carpet for the cops or…?” 

The conversation only deteriorated from there, though Hassan did try to apologize (too bad he never really seems sincere). 

“Fuck you, man,” Mikey barked. “I’m a full-ass adult. I pay taxes.” (He didn’t, but the hell if he was going to share that with Mister Prim-and-Proper.)

“Excuse me for being skeptical, short stack.” 

Mikey’s eyes went round. “Short stack?! Short stack?!”

The man smirked, and Mikey held back the desire to throw the spray can right at his forehead. 

“Tiny, even,” the man added, white teeth flashing. “Pocket-sized.”

Eventually, though, the two of them begin a very will-they-won’t-they relationship, comprised of Hassan sending Mikey gifts, and random text messages that multiply over the course of two years.

They’ll probably figure out they’re in love… probably…

Some songs for the ~vibe~

Bonus, The first-ever sketches of Hassan and Mikey;

Art by @sha-biest

[pixelxgore]

hers a billfold wip as a treat i changed his face bc i have free will

The art is to encourage you to read my silly little insanity (you should totally do it btw)

I'm dyslexic so sorry if anything is spelled grotesquely wrong lol autocorrect sometimes has no idea what i’m trying to spell

Starting with my head cannon because every thing will make more sense with it (or it wont that's entirely up to you) Imma try my best to make this enjoyable

So I head cannon both bill and ford as aspec this is important for the rest trust (I'm Aroace myself so some of my words are based of of experience ) being aroace doesn't mean you can't have a toxic one-sided relationship with a triangle

(most of this is pretty vanilla but I still wanna talk about it)

I believe it started of as a one-sided relationship on fords part (wow shocker) but it wasn't really love because he's ace it was more of infatuation (this stems from the fact he is a science boy and like ooo demon triangle thing) mistaken for love (I'm pretty sure this is common among aroace people or I just had an original experience) and maybe bill had just a little bit of the same feeling but instead of infatuation it was just pure obsession and when they had there little “tragic break up” and bill finally came to realize his obsession and it consumed him (idk i think that how abusive obsession is) and he realized he can’t live with out ford (i man he can but unhealthy obsession) and thus bills one sided relationship with ford where he just tries to get his puppet back but can’t figure out why he needs him so bad so he comes to the (subconscious) cuncultion there in love (because of course that’s the reasonable decision) and then you all know what comes after

I think bill has major will wood music vibes so I have nominated three songs of his for bill ford (cuz I'm genuinely going insane over them)

This is for fun and based off my head cannons

All of my discussions are made purely of the vibes the song gives me and how cool than animation in my head looks so take everything you know about these will wood songs and throw it out the window cuz none of that is relevant :3

i saw someone say “Will Wood songs can really be interpreted in different ways, and most of them seem like wisps of similar thought rather than a concrete narrative, so you're always a little bit right and wrong when you take a guess.” and i think you should keep that in mined

(I'm gonna embarrass myself so hard (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) )

I'm not gonna elaborate much but just trust me ok I put it kind of in chronological order

fords one sided relationship with bill: ...well, better than the alternative

Ok so this one is the least perfect out of all of them cuz it only half what I want (obviously this song is a stretch but hear me out) It's mostly for the like the last half of the song (remember what I said about throwing out the meaning for get that i lied) this song about the struggle ls of growing up and is a heartfelt plea to be understood and accepted for who we are (which obviously ford was a wired kid) and this kinda ties into the one-sided infatuation because it also is about the romanticism of nostalgic love, and the pressure of society telling you to find someone and "settle down" as we get older (witch yk aroace can’t really do that) so he’s grasping at the fact that he is enamored with this demon he just summoned (because science) so he can come up with this narrative in his head of how he is in love and can finally fit at least one of the societal boxes (idk it sounds like something to me probly ooc but I'm having fun)

bills one sided relationship with ford: ¡Aikido!

obsession with someone and how people often use coping mechanisms such as drugs to help with their feelings of uncertainty and helplessness. (yes this is copied not fully of a site this is tumblr not an english assignment) it also explores the idea that love and obsession can often manifest in neurotic and even pathological behavior.(oooo oooo look i’m so smart like staring the apocalyps) i’m not this cool this whole thing started with the first like whit h is “I apologize for playing with your eyes But I’m obsessed with you” witch reminded me of how bill used for as a puppet and then yk fords whole world came crashing down (this one explained its self more i have to do less mental gymnastics) and he’s like im sooo sorry i can’t live with out you

there whole relationship from the deal to the end of bill: Misanthrapologist ("In case I make it,"

Outtake)

ok this one is the one that mostly made of vibes because the song is about an unhappy codependent relationship through metaphors of christianity, nihilism, outer space, and mozart (witch only really encompasses a portion of the relationship) the song stars with “I wanna meet your make Shake him by his ensanguined damask lapel Holler "Look what you've done Gave this planet a sun And made a man to wonder if he's more than the sum of his cells"” which makes me personally think of obviously the deal fore made with bill and how bill stroked his ego all the way through there partnership um you can see where i goes from here just go listen to the song

ok this one’s off topic and only for my imaginary animation but the line “So how could I stand a chance, let alone dance With the way you sweep me off these two left feet?” just like imagine this with me it’s bill (human probably cuz i don’t work with the triangle) and young ford in the minedskape thing and its bill dipping ford and when it goes down it switches to bill and fort in bills pyramid thing with ford chained up do you see the vision ok I’m done now (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)

[tiredsmashbros]

💯MEGA ARTFIGHT POST {kinda long}✨

oh boy oh boy, the fight of art has once again been finalized and wrapped up for the year. and man what a month this was. got more attacks then i've ever received AND attacked more than ever before vs my previous years!!! a sUCCESS i may say B^)))

met so many great new people + made awesome friends!!! seriously what an amazing and fun this artfight was, i can't express the insane amount of love i've received, and hopefully next year i can plan better to gift that love back just as much and mORE <33333

if you haven't please check out the amazing work everyone has done to take the time to make for me !! >> artfight defenses << THANK YOU TO EVERYONE SERIOUSLY I LOVE EVERYONE SINGLE ONE SO FUKING MUCH AND WHOLEHEARTEDLY AND I WILL CONTINUE TO DO SO UNTIL MY GRAVE YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE JOY AND SMILES AND KICKING FEET HAS BEEN EXPRESSED I LOVE ALL OF THEM SO MUCH HOLY SHIT 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛

i legit could go on forever but for now, i must get to the actual meats of this post fvecdsx {will only be focusing on the SMG4 community of attackers on here, if you want to see the rest of the attacks i made check out my artfight @/smg4 !! yes i name claimed it LMAO}

IN ORDER : @strange0-0storm @yamperjellety @its-a-me-mango @aquaproductions @r3d2y hehe hi ako 💛

fr thought i was gonna be able to do detailed work for everyone but once again my style changed and i legit no idea i would get attacked so much i had to a big brain move and try a different strat to get back everyone as best as possible 👁👁📝

IN ORDER : @bluesbox @/xxnobodyxx_420

IN ORDER : @kittykibbl @libbytwq @bluestrawberrybunny

for my buddy, @/tinydragontoonz, not in the smg4 community, bUT he's a lover of mario and tons of other awesome stuff PLS go follow them they're aWESEOME RAWRRR FYUGD- ahem,,, and i made this comic... that... only he knows the real context to LMAO but uh uh lOOk tsb is there sooo :))))) UIGYFLUGCKHVBJCDWS

and lastly... if you're reading this... PLEASE GO FOLLOW EVERYONE IF YOU HAVENT OH MY GOD EVERYONE HAS SUCH LOVELY ART AND WORK AND IS SO COOL AND DOPE WOW WOW WOW IM STILL NOT OVER IT SRSLY DRAWING EVERYONES OC WAS SO MUCH FUN AND I AM DEF GONNA BE DOING IT AGAIN AFTER ARTFIGHT I LOVE DRAWIN OCS AAAAAAAAAAAA UIGHBEJWSA