#( will probably isolate a lot tonight/today.

[byanyan]

catch me sobbing bc I'm about to have a desk of my own for the first time since I was like 17 😭

[stars-inthe-sky]

UGH.

[slugandthorn]

Putting my journal down realizing maybe I shouldn't make a written plan to socialize more efficiently

[asea0fmxses]

Not gonna lie, I was looking forward to coming back home & plot with you all. But today my routine was not the same so, I'm exhausted.

[obsessedwithtoomanythings]

Anchor Up to Me, Love

Pairing: Alpha!Leon Kennedy x Omega!Reader

Warning: College AU, Knotting, Claiming Bites, Breeding Kink, Penis In Vagina Sex, Oral Sex, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, But Leon saves the day, cause we love him, Possessive Leon S. Kennedy, Protective Leon S. Kennedy, Violence, just a lil, Leon S. Kennedy Being a Little Shit, Leon S. Kennedy is a tease. Leon S. Kennedy is a Sweetheart, I slept for 2 hours last night cause of this, bon appétit, bone apple teeth, Leon Kennedy loves eating pussy change my mind, Loss of Virginity, Unprotected Sex, POV First Person

Words: 3.3K

A/N: I wrote this in one afternoon, it was not beta'd at all. I pulled this STRAIGHT out of my ass. THIS IS NSFW. IF YOU ARE A MINOR, PLEASE GO AWAY. Title from Anchor by Novo Amor.

The campus was buzzing with hyper energy, the students littering the quad as the weather finally warmed up enough for them to comfortably rest on the green grass. My sneakers slap against the concrete as I take a deep breath in, the fresh air mingling with the student’s scents and I can’t help but feel a twinge of loneliness at the sight of the couples sprawled across the area.

I have spent half my life terrified of everyone - especially alphas - since my father’s warning when I presented. “You need to be careful, pup. Alpha’s only want one thing. You don’t want to end up like your mother - God rest her soul.” The fear it caused has definitely contributed to my self induced isolation. The scent blockers stir in my stomach, and I place a hand over my gut softly as I continue to head toward the library. I couldn’t afford the textbook, and thankfully the library had a cheap copy, but it can only be used in the library. I huff in annoyance as I mount the stairs. I step into the air conditioned building, skin prickling beneath my tee shirt. Should have worn a sweater.

The library is huge, 3 floors of walls lined with books, and the loner in me cries out in joy at seeing how deserted the stacks are. Having memorized the way already, I walk toward where they keep the textbooks and I run my fingers across the bindings until I come across where my textbook should be. I glance around to see if it was maybe misplaced before I head to the front desk.

“Hi, I’m looking for the Understanding Earth textbook for Professor Fieldman’s class?” I ask, and the woman behind the counter looks up with a small smile.

“Oh, that’s a popular one today. There’s a young man in blue who asked for it maybe 10 minutes ago. He should be in one of the study rooms, I think Room C.” The one with the windows. I nod, glancing down at my phone for the time. That paper is due in 12 hours. I’ll have to suck it up and ask if he’s willing to share. I head up the stairs, the hushed whispers of students giggling on the second floor catches my attention as I rub my fingers over my arms to warm them. The straps of my backpack are becoming more and more noticeable the longer the bag rests on my shoulders, and the girls’ voices become audible. “Wasn’t he adorable? He’s in my criminology class. His scent is intoxicating.” I scoff at their words. I walk toward the closed oak door before lightly rapping my knuckles on the varnished surface, and I crack it open as I hear a voice speak. Please be a beta. Please be a beta. Please be a beta.

“Yeah?” The door opens a bit more and that’s when I see him, strong hands hovering over the keys of his laptop, bright blue eyes trained on me as I stand in the doorway, my cheeks probably red from embarrassment.

“Hi,” I say before introducing myself with my name. “I know this is probably weird, but Professor Fieldman assigned a paper due tonight and I need some sources. Would you mind if I shared the textbook with you?” I ask, definitely speaking too fast as the anxiety crawls up my throat, tasting an awful lot like bile. He chuckles and that’s when his scent hits my nose. Those girls weren’t lying. He smells like pine and citrus, which you wouldn’t normally assume would mix, but something about the way it mingles as it enters my nose, my whole body flushes,, and I wonder if it’s because of him being an alpha or just him in general.

“I’m Leon. Leon Kennedy. And no, I don’t mind at all,” he says kindly, scooting his chair over a bit and pushing the textbook closer to the chair next to him. I should not sit next to him. His scent is already almost overwhelming and I’ve been in here for all of 1 minute. I find myself walking forward as I hear the door close behind me and I sit down in the black mesh swivel chair next to Leon. He gives me a small smile before I realize he probably thinks I’m a beta. My scent blockers should be enough. When is my heat due again? I vaguely wonder as I slip my backpack onto the floor next to me and pull out my laptop, opening the document to this stupid paper. “The paper on your favorite mineral and its multitude of uses?” He asks, glancing at my screen and I nervously huff out a laugh.

“Yup. I went with obsidian.” I say as I look back at him. His eyes are like two pools of blue, oceans in their entirety and threatening to drag me under and drown me.

“Good choice. Quartz,” he points his thumb at himself with a small smile as he runs his fingers through his hair before training his eyes on his paper. We sit in comfortable silence for about 10 minutes before the first cramp shoots through my gut. I press a hand to the muscle, hoping pressure will relieve the ache before it increases. I tense up as I groan, dropping my head to the cool desk as my skin feels like it’s on fire. “Are you okay?” He asks, placing a hand on my back, and the warmth of his hand makes me release a very different kind of groan, which I try to muffle by clamping my teeth down on my bottom lip, so hard I may be drawing blood. Heat washes over me and I vaguely register that I am absolutely going into heat right here, next to this alpha I just met. I reach down for my phone to check, and that’s when I realize that I am a week early for my heat.

“I’m fine, I just need to go, I’m sorry,” I whisper, and I stand quickly, slamming my laptop closed much harder than I should before practically throwing it into my backpack, slinging the fabric over my shoulders before I feel a hand lightly wrap around my wrist, not restraining me, just… catching my attention.

“I’m sorry, I can go if you need the-” Leon trails off, his voice fading into silence as his eyes widen. “You’re an omega?” He asks, and I know my scent blockers aren’t very effective anymore. Not against a sudden onset of heat in the middle of the day. I nod smally, feeling tiny compared to this alpha, despite him still sitting down in his own chair. The place where his skin meets mine on my wrist tingles, sending sparks up and down my arm as I am suddenly extremely grateful that I didn’t wrap myself in a sweatshirt. I’d be sweating through it by now.

He squeezes his eyes shut tightly, taking a deep breath while facing away from me, as if he’s trying to compose himself before he speaks again. “Sorry, you’re just… You smell amazing…” He practically rasps, voice dropping to a painfully attractive octave. “I thought you were a beta when you walked in. You shouldn’t be out this close to your heat,” he mumbles, still unable to meet my eyes.

“I’m not due for a week. Trust me, I intend to go home,” I explain, and he nods as he lets go of my wrist. Without another word, I walk briskly to the door. I don’t breathe until I’m out in the fresh air, trying to wash Leon’s scent from my nose before I begin to practically sprint toward the parking lot where my car is. I’m almost there when I hear whistles behind me. Oh no.

“Where you going, pretty ‘mega?” My hands shake violently, slick pouring into the center of my panties due to the incoming heat, and I hear several sets of footsteps behind me. There are at least 3 of them. A cold hand lands on my shoulder and I yelp, dropping my keys to the tarmac as tears brim in my eyes. The alpha spins me around as his friends snigger behind him and his hard body presses me against the nearest vehicle, hands roaming over my jean covered thighs as the hot tears pour down my cheeks. His scent is vile, aggression and sweat wafting off of him in waves, and his nose runs along the column of my throat. “You smell so good, baby. How about you let me take care of your little problem?” His voice is gravely and harsh, tongue licking up my neck to taste my sweat. “God, I’m gonna knot you so-”

“Get the fuck off of her.” A voice says, and it takes my mind only moments to realize it’s Leon.

“Fuck off, finder’s keepers.” I squeeze my eyes closed so tightly that harsh colors flash across my darkened vision, and my hands push against his cotton tee shirt pointlessly.

“Then how about this?” The weight is gone, ripped from my body and I open my eyes to see that Leon has physically ripped the guy off of me and I watch as his body collides with the vehicle next to us, the white metal slightly dented from where his head hit before Leon’s fists tighten in his shirt, pressing him into the truck. “Touch my omega again, and you won’t be leaving unless it’s in a body bag.” Leon lets him go and we both watch as the alpha runs away, followed by his lackeys. If he had a tail, it’d be between his legs.

I sink to the ground, knees pressed to my chest and my hands press into the dark concrete. “Holy…”

“Are you okay?” Leon is there, crouching at my level. “They didn’t hurt you, did they?” I shake my head, hands twitching, begging me to reach out and touch him and I can’t stop them as one lands on his shoulder.

“I just want to feel safe... Can you hold me?” I whisper, and it’s only seconds before his palms skim along my bare arms. Feeling like I’ve been shocked with straight electricity, my gasp escapes as I shift to press my nose into his shirt, the blue cotton/spandex mix beneath my lips driving me up a wall and rushing more slick into the gusset of my panties.

“Of course.” His words are soft, fingers carding through my hair in soothing motions. His lips are soft as they press to my temple and I clutch his shirt tightly in my fists. “What do you need?” He asks, making sure to address me by my name.

“You, alpha…” I whisper, desperation in my tone. “Please…”

“Fuck…” Leon mumbles, nodding and accidentally brushing his nose through my hair, and he groans. “Okay, come on.”

The kisses are all tongues and teeth, lips connected as teeth nibble at the already plump flesh as the door opens. Thank god he has an apartment, cause Dad would never let me bring home an alpha for him to fuck me through my heat. The room smells overwhelmingly like him, air fresheners be damned. Palms on hips, slipping into the waistband of denim, untucking shirts, fingers dancing across skin and I tug on the hem of his light blue shirt, silently pleading for it to come off.

“Need something, sweet girl?” He chuckles, a teasing edge to his voice. A whine slips from my lips into his mouth and he pulls back to press our noses together, foreheads in contact as he looks into my eyes. “Use your words, sweetheart.”

“Off, please, Leon.” Well, he said words. I managed that. He peels the fabric from his chest, my eyes raking over the exposed muscles and soft flesh.

“Eyes up here, ‘mega.” His finger slides under my chin, bringing my eyes to his as our lips collide again before parting to remove my own tee shirt, dropping the cotton onto a pile on top of his. “God, you’re gorgeous,” he whispers under his breath. Before I can process the movements, my feet are off the ground before I feel the weight of the couch beneath me as he tugs on my waistband. “Can I taste you, ‘mega? Please?”

“Mhm,” I hum through my bitten lip, teeth pressing into the tender flesh as I help him remove my tight jeans, my panties flying somewhere in his apartment as he buries his mouth against my cunt without further question.

His name leaves my lips in a squeak as my fingers thread through his dark blonde locks, tugging the strands lightly as his tongue laps at my sex. Growls rumble from his chest as he sucks gently on my clit, the suction forcing gasps and moans from my mouth; I look down and find those intoxicating blue eyes locked on me, the wet sounds coming from my center absolutely lewd. How do people live without this?

“Do you want my knot?” The question should require more thought. More attention.

“Yes. Please alpha, need it.” Leon stands, lips and chin coated with my shiny slick, and I watch as he licks the fluid off his lips before using his fingers to wipe off the remainder before sucking them into his mouth. Oh fuck, that’s hot. Nimble fingers undo the buttons of his jeans, tugging the zipper down tauntingly. “Leon.” His name comes out as a frustrated groan, and I’m gifted by the sweet sound of his light chuckle.

“Patience is a virtue, sweet girl.” I groan, a small laugh of my own filling the air as he comes up to kneel between my thighs, the skin of my ass pressing against his thighs as he leans forward to rub his cock along the length of my core. “Fucking shit, got the prettiest pussy I’ve ever seen, ‘mega. Have you ever had a knot before?” He asks, rolling his hips so his tip bumps against my clit and I shake my head no. “Have you ever had sex with anyone?”

“No…” I admit, hands coming up to press against my hot cheeks.

“That’s okay, ‘mega. Do you want to keep going?” I peek between my fingers to see his soft smile. He is willing to stop for my comfort. “I can make you come in other ways if you don’t want-”

“I want your knot, please Leon.” My hips cant on their own accord, rubbing against him and his groan quickly dissolves into a huff of laughter, the sound filled with affection and gentleness.

“Okay, baby. We’ll take this slow, okay?” His head nudges at my opening, pressing the head in. The slight burn doesn’t last as my body adjusts to him, his arms caging me in on both sides of my head filling each of my senses with nothing but Leon, Leon, Leon. It continues like this, him pressing his length pressing in an inch or two before he pauses, huffy breaths puffing against my face as his peppers my face in soft kisses, my hands cupping his jaw and nape of his neck to feel some semblance of balance as he splits me open. I have nothing to compare it to, but he feels pretty big to me. Finally after a painstakingly long time, his hips press forward, flush with mine, and we both release shaky pants at the sensations.

“Please move,” I whimper as my hands shift to dig into the firm muscle of his shoulders, dull nails leaving crescents in his flesh.

“Anything for you, my sweet little omega.” The sweet words are quickly drowned out as he begins a leisurely pace, and I can feel the drag of his cock against my walls at every movement he makes. Kissing is futile by this point; We’re practically just breathing into each other’s mouths. His pace begins to steadily climb, faster and harder as his deft fingers rub soft circles over my bud, my head thrown back in response to the new sensation. “Does that feel good, sweet girl?” I nod before his earlier command rings through my ears.

“Yeah, Leon… Feels so good.”

“Such a perfect little omega, my omega.” The possessive tone sends a wave of heat straight down my spine as he continues. “That alpha touching you earlier… God I wanted to rip his throat out…” Hips slapping harder against mine as my moans grow in pitch, his name practically the only coherent sound that can be heard from my lips.

“Yours, alpha. All yours.” The blonde nuzzles into my neck, teeth grazing across my sweat slicked skin. He speaks, and it takes a nip to my ear to realize he’s speaking, my focus being tugged between the wet sounds of us meeting, his teeth on my neck, his scent in my nose, and his dirty words in my ears.

I want to claim you.

Fill you til it spills from that tight little pussy.

Want my babies, sweetheart?

Knock you up, god you’d look so pretty carrying my babies, ‘mega.

I nod blindly, barely unable to form words anymore as I’m so fucked out, so cockdrunk.

“Yes, please, fill me. Want it. Want you.” I groan in protest as he pulls out, emptiness bringing tears to my eyes before his gentle caress causes me to peel my eyes open to meet his. I’m greeted with a new sight. This isn’t just Leon.

This is my alpha.

“Present for me, ‘mega.” I nod, flipping over so my knees press into the scratchy fabric of the couch, arms resting on the arm rest as my body arches for him practically unconsciously. This is how it feels to find your mate. Callused hands trace the skin of my back, rubbing softly over the skin of my ass before his tip presses against my opening again, sliding in much easier than before, the wet slick aiding in creating a smooth glide and I practically feel him in my throat as he resumes a fast pace. Mumbles of curses fall into the air, sweaty skin pressing to my back, giving him access to whisper in my ear.

“I want you to come for me. I’ll give you my knot if you do.” The rough tips of his fingers return to my clit, rubbing much faster circles as the band in my gut pulls tight. “Come for me, omega.” That’s all it takes. I come with a yelp of his name, followed by a chorus of ‘alpha’s mixing with ‘Leon’. He growls, leaning forward to press the expanding ring of muscle into my pussy as his teeth sink into the flesh of my neck, locking us together in every sense of the words.

Gentle hands maneuver us to our sides, his warm body spooning as he grabs the blanket from the back of his couch to drape it over us as the sweat on our skin rapidly cools in the now chilly air of his living room.

“Are you okay?” He whispers, lips pressing soft kisses across my exposed flesh, and he sounds almost guilty. I nod sleepily, reaching back to run fingers through his hair with a chuckle. “Something funny, cutie?”

“I don’t think sharing the textbook is gonna be an issue anymore.” At my words, we both burst into a fit of giggles, panting breaths as I turn my head to press our lips together before I gasp, hands coming up to my mouth.

“What?”

“My dad is gonna kill us.” I admit with a nervous laugh.

“Nah. I meet parents like a champ.” His face practically drips with confidence and I chuckle.

“Oh really?”

“Oh yeah. Look at my face. This is the face of ‘I’m absolutely not sleeping with your daughter’.” The laughter is uncontainable now.

Oh yeah. Definitely.

Tags:

Leon: @house-of-kolchek @bonnibuckets @athanasia-day @muffimtv Everything: @chaosandbubbles @kassiekolchek22 @akiramoon8088

[kissesforsatoru]

WANT YOU SO BAD | wc : 4.4k

BULLY! HANEMIYA KAZUTORA x FEM!READER

₊˚⌗ you hate him. you hate him. he ruined your life, so you should hate him. kazutoras specialty has always been getting his way by changing the minds of others, though.

⤷ cw : general yandere themes, vague bullying, social isolation and social anxiety, dub-con, semi-public sex, soft sex but also rough sex (???), oral (receiving), marking/love bites, dirty talk, teasing, degradation, praise, way too much kissing, kazutora being a bit of a sadistat first, then he gets soft, then he's back to being a sadist, slightly delusional reader (they’re kinda into it even though kazutora ruined their life)

notes : at long last, it's finished and at 2:21 am 😭 GUYS I HAVE TO BE UP EARLY TOMORROW BUT SOMETHING OVERCAME ME AND I JUST HAD TO FINISH THIS TONIGHT IDK

i honestly don't know how i feel about it, but whatever. i hope you guys are able to enoy this because it was honestly a bitch to write 😭

you anxiously gripped the hem of your shirt as you walked down the halls of your school, eyes cast down to focus on anything other than the fact that you were surrounded by lots of other students. you avoided getting too close to any of them, opting more to stay closer to the wall while simultaneously shrinking into yourself to look as small and unnoticeable as possible.

you didn't have to look to know where you were going, so to keep your anxiety addled brain at bay, you kept your eyes on your feet. one in front of the other, one in front of the other. you just wanted to get to class as quickly as possible and preferably without any sort of incident today.

as much as you had hoped and willed the whims of fate, every single day at that, nothing every favored you or what you wanted.

you bit your lip and turned your head to the side as you rounded a corner, bumping into someone as you did. all of the books and papers fell to the floor along with you, regrettably scattering everywhere. you whined weakly as tears welled in your eyes at the pain that shot throughout your body.

your lip quivers as you brace yourself with your hands, looking up at the person you'd run into—a boy, someone you weren't familiar with, though. he looked you over with a countenance of disgust before quickly turning to walk away, biting harshly to 'watch where the fuck you're going'.

you sighed, leaning over to collect your fallen things. your body shook as you moved around on the, still weakened from the impact of falling.

nobody stopped to help you—nobody even acknowledged you, for that matter. not that you expected anyone to, because ever since kazutora spread rumors about you nobody wanted anything to do with you. not even takemichi, who was usually so sweet to you. it was pathetic, really, how easily your life had come to ruin over one little mistake you made: underestimating how serious kazutora's threats were.

you were well aware he hated you from the moment the two of you met, he made that very clear, but you never knew how deeply that hatred was rooted. you didn’t know he was being serious when he told you to stay away from tekemichi, and now you’re here, very much aware, but it's far too late for it to even matter anymore. your reputation was trampled and ruined so effortlessly that nobody dared to associate themselves with you anymore—except for kazutora, who was the one person you actually wanted to leave you alone.

"hey!" a gruff voice called from behind you, and you tensed, eyes widening as you picked up your things faster. you could only hope that the voice wasn't calling for you as you stood up and practically ran down the hall, no longer caring about the pain or if you drew unnecessary attention to yourself. at this point, anything was better than whatever it was that kazutora wanted, because no matter what, it probably wasn’t good for you.

you gasped and once again all your things dropped to the floor as you were suddenly grabbed and shoved against a wall. you grimaced, looking away and sliding down to the floor as a pained sob escaped your lips. kazutora glared harshly down at you as he put his arms on either side of you, caging you in and blocking any chance you had at escaping--which would have been futile even if you did attempt to run again.

kazutora huffed at the sight before him, mocking you as you practically shivered in fear. nothing brought him more satisfaction than seeing you like this—completely helpless and at his mercy. he liked that panicked look in your eyes whenever you saw him, and he liked the way you anxiously shied away from him whenever he was close. it made him feel so powerful and superior.

kazutora doesn’t know why he liked it so much, because he’s never enjoyed this kind of thing outside of his delinquency, but the way you reacted to him drew him in and made him yearn to control you in every way. it was exhilarating, really.

"why the hell were you running away from me, y/n? i know you heard me calling." you flinched, falling further down the wall as a sob escaped your lips again. you wrapped your arms tightly around yourself, scratching your nails into your clothes as kazutora held your waist and gripped your chin.

he was close, far too close for your liking—though any distance from him wasn’t far enough for you, because no matter what, kazutora would always find you. it was like he had a leash wrapped around your neck, suffocating and inescapable. your many futile attempts to get away were pitiful and laughable at this point.

"fucking answer me, y/n." kazutora growled out slowly, his grip on your waist growing tighter with each second you remained silent. kazutora isn't a very patient man as it is, but whenever it came to you, he seemed all too pushy and demanding more than usual.

“i–i," you stutter pitifully, lip quivering as kazutora draws his face closer. "class–it… it starts soon." you spit out an excuse that you knew kazutora wouldn’t care for, but it was better than not saying anything.

he hums, grip loosening as he nods his head slowly. you almost sigh in relief, but you know better than to expect things to go off so simply. kazutora doesn’t care about class, or you getting there on time—your attendance records were proof enough of that. there had to be a catch of some sort, it was just a matter of figuring out what it was.

"you make a fair point, y/n. but you can't go to class looking like this…" he trails off, leaning back to rake his eyes steadily over your body. you wore a cute little skirt that came up to about mid thigh paired with a plain white shirt and light brown sweater vest on top. kazutora was more interested in the white knee high socks you were wearing, though. it made the outfit much more alluring, and dare he even say slutty.

kazutora grazed the soft skin of your exposed thigh with his finger tips while using his other hand to pull you closer by the waist. a little whimper escaped your mouth, and kazutora smirked as he saw how flustered you were getting.

kazutora’s never really touched you like this before, but he knew you were incredibly reactive to him anyway—always making small noises and gestures that were very telling of how you were feeling. he's always wondered how far he could take those reactions, and now he been given the opportunity to explore it thoroughly.

"kazutora, sto–mmh��stop." you choke out as you try to suppress the noises that threaten to spill from your lips. using one hand, kazutora pins your wrists to the wall while the other continues to feel you up. you can’t do anything as his cold fingers trace your skin salaciously with a certain slowness that makes you shiver under his touch.

"y/n… '' kazutora calls your name teasingly. "you’re dressed so slutty, you know? how can you expect me to control myself?" the question was met with watering eyes and a small whimper. for the first time since kazutora had ruined your life, you dared to look him in the eyes. it caught him off guard; his movements pausing and breath catching in his throat as he stared into your teary eyes—kazutora was pretty damn sure he might’ve just fallen in love again.

you were so fucking pretty. everything about you was just so captivating and attractive.

small noises escaped your lips as you wordlessly pleaded with him, but it was clear to kazutora that you weren’t exactly sure what it was you were pleading for.

he smirked, releasing your hands only to pick you up entirely to walk somewhere that you can only assume nobody will find you. you wrap your arms around him hesitantly, sniffling and biting your lip as you rest your chin on his shoulder. his grip tightened ever so slightly as you began to relax in his arms. you don’t know what’s happening, but honestly you don’t have the strength to question kazutora right now.

it didn’t take kazutora long to get to his destination, which you figured out was the gym supply closet after he sits you down on one of the cold mats.

a weird feeling in your stomach made you shiver as you shyly grabbed the hem of your shirt. kazutora spread your legs, shoving his larger body in between them while placing his hands on either side of you again. he was close, still too close for your comfort, but you weirdly felt okay with it now—the intention was different, now more of a hungry lust rather than aggression.

you flinched when you felt a hand press against your cheek and then a few seconds later a muffled gasp left your mouth when you felt soft lips press against yours. you place both your hands on kazutoras chest, not to push him away per se, but to ease the pressure of his lips against yours that were all too hungry and consuming.

you don't pull away either, despite being a little but confused and definitely scared. instead you allow kazutora to lead the kiss while you hesitantly following along—tried to at least, because you were sloppy with it. kazutora doesn’t seem to mind though since he doesn’t pull away and complain like you expected him to.

and inkling of doubt and worry slowly consume you as the kiss drags on, because this could full well just be another one of kazutora’s sick jokes. yet, there was a part of you, the part that kept you from thrashing and demanding to be let go, that wanted to believe that wasn't the case.

kazutora finally pulls away when your rhythm begins to slow and your body grows limp. soft little pants fill the room as you try to catch your breath, still holding tightly onto kazutora’s shirt that you ended up grabbing in the midst of the kiss. kazutora admires the look on your face in the meantime, all flushed and dazed like you’d just taken some sort of addictive drug that gives you a pleasure high. kazutora likes that thought—you being addicted to his kisses.

after a few minutes, kazutora pushes you down flat on the mat and crawls on top of your body. bracing both arms on either side of your head, and his knee between your legs, kazutora traps you beneath him. smirking as he leans down, kazutora revels in the sound of your whimper.

"you look so lewd, y/n. is this what you wanted, hm? for me to fuck you senseless for being a little slut in that outfit you've got on?" kazutora whispers against your neck, the warmth of his breath on your skin causing you to squirm. you turn your head away, embarrassed by his words.

"yeah, that's definitely what you wanted. you were practically begging me to fuck you with your pretty eyes earlier." kazutora licked the shell of your ear, nibbling gently at the top, dragging an airy gasp from your lips.

"no–mhph, please!" salty tears begin to steadily drip down your cheeks and between your parted lips, causing you to choke on your pleas. kazutora grabs your face and tilts your head so that he can lick away your tears.

"shh, you’re such a good girl, so pretty for me." he whispers as he starts rubbing your thighs again. he goes slow, more focused on intently watching you—the way you struggle to catch your breath and how your body continues to shiver ever so slightly as he drags his fingers along your skin lightly. every small noise that leaves your lips doesn’t go unnoticed by kazutora, and neither do any of your cute expressions. he takes them all in and commits them to memory, no doubt to think of when he jacks off when he's at home later.

“just wanna touch you a bit and make you feel good,” he whispers between licks and kisses to your tear stained cheeks.

you feel as kazutora trails his fingers over your body, spending extra time in the areas that make you gasp and whine. your body is all hot and all tingly, practically pulsating with pleasure as you squirm in anticipation of where he’ll touch you next. maybe your neck, where you’re most sensitive, or your thighs that were mushed against kazutoras leg in a desperate attempt to keep your wetness at bay. and while you would enjoy him touching you in those areas, you really hoped it would be in the place that you ached most for him, which was the one place he seemed to avoid.

your breath grows quick and ragged as kazutora drags his finger slowly between your breasts and down your tummy, continuing until he reaches the hem of your skirt where he stops to flick it up and reveal your already soaked underwear. an airy moan-like gasp leaves your lips when he suddenly presses his thumb onto your fluttering cunt.

“that’s right, little baby. you like that, don’t you?” he coos, tracing your bud teasingly a few times before rubbing it with a little more force. you close your eyes and nod curtly with a groan, much more focused on the way his thumb teases your pussy in all the right ways.

kazutora huffs at your reaction and pulls his fingers away, which draws a needy whine from you at the loss of contact. he shuts you up with another kiss, one that lasts only a few seconds as he's pulling away to kiss your cheek, then along your jaw and down to your neck where he sucks lightly in a few places.

he licks, sucks and kisses down the rest of your body, only stopping to take off your sweater vest and undershirt before he leans back down with desperation to kiss you more. he bites teasingly on your collarbone and licks his way down from your chest to your left breast that he latches onto easily. he sucks softly as he swirls his warm tongue around the bud, coaxing another sweet moan out of you, along with the many more to follow. you thread your fingers through his hair and tug on it gently whenever you jolt in pleasure.

kazutora pops off your nipple, licking it one last time, then he tilts his head and settles his mouth on the neglected one, intent on giving it the same attention. you begin to pant softly, hot and bothered by kazutoras stimulation. he suddenly bites your bud and tugs on it for just a second, causing you to arch your back and wrap your legs tightly around kazutoras waist. your wet cunt brushes against kazutoras hard cock, and he groans against your tit.

"mmh– ka–kazutora!" you moan, and you can feel as he smirks against your skin with a huff. he then pulls away, to which you whine, but he shuts you up with a kiss for the second time.

your tongues swirl together and drool seeps from both of your mouths. kazutora was determined to learn each and every part you you and engrave it permanently into his memory. he wants to know exactly what makes you feel good, what tips you over the edge and makes you scream out as your body convulses with pleasure. he wants to make you feels so good that you a cry and pass out, and he'll do just that.

kazutora pulls away and admires the way your tong lolls out of your mouth as you lean up to chase his lips. he coos, grabbing your chin to tilt your head up so he can place his tongue against yours; you squirm and whine beneath him in response.

your breath hitches and you make a strained noise when kazutora's fingers trace down your thigh and between your leg to press against your aching pussy lightly. you're even more wet now, and it has kazutora cursing beneath his breath as he feels his cock throb uncomfortably. he ignores it in favor of putting a bit more pressure on your clit, watching the way you shutter as he then begins to rub on it just a little bit--not enough for you to feel satisfied, apparently, because you buck and wiggle your hips to create more friction.

kazutora hums and lets you try to please yourself, but a lazy smile graces his lips when you quickly grow restless from the lack of pleasure you were receiving in your pursuit. you huff and whine, flicking your big, watery eyes to kazutora to give him a pleading look, but he only continues to watch you pitifully chase the little pleasure you got from your movements.

"please," you eventually mutter out in a half whine.

"hm? what was that? you have to speak up, pretty," he says lowly, tilting his head. you huff and whine some more out of frustration and kazutora's smile stretches wider.

"please," you repeat, this time louder, "want you to touch me," you decidedly add.

kazutoras smile is now a full-blown smirk as he eagerly pulls your panties off of you, putting your pussy on full display to him. pretty and all slicked up, practically begging to be eaten like a full course fucking meal. he doesn't touch you yet, though. instead, he grabs both your wrists to pins above your head, while with the other hand he spreads your legs further and slides his body down yours until his face is right in line with your cunny.

the warmth of his breath against your sensitive clit makes you mewl in anticipation. you moan loudly into the air and throw your head back when kazutora finally—finally—licks a stripe from your seeping hole to your puffy clit. then he does it again, and again, and again until he's slurping sloppily as he laps up all of your slick desperately, like a man starved.

you cry, whine, moan, and sputter any possible noise that you can as he mercilessly eats you out, letting go of your wrists to wrap his arms around your legs and hold you against his mouth as you try to buck and ease the pressure his tongue puts on your pussy. he latches onto your clit after he's satisfied with drinking up your wetness, sucking on it gently and swirling his tongue over it every now and then. he's driving you crazy; it feels so good, so, so good, but you're greedy—you want more.

“ahah— mmh, kazu–kazutora” you moan his name so sweetly; there’s a high-pitched, whiney edge to it when you do that makes you sound utterly wreck—it drives kazutora mad with hazy lust—makes him hold you down against the mat more firmly as he presses his tongue so expertly against your clit, drawing from you more delicious moans of his name.

he smirks against you as you come easily undone, and his eyes flick up to catch your pretty eyes roll back as your mouth falls wide open, a broken, yet completely enthralling slew of noises fall from between your bruised lips as you orgasm. kazutora doesn’t pull away though, despite the way your grip on his hair has becomes unrelenting from the overstimulation being forced upon your poor, spent body; he only does when you sob weakly and begin to pant heavily.

kazutora releases your hips and pulls himself up so that he’s hovering above you. you look so fucking perfect like this—fucked out, from just his mouth, drool seeping from the corner of you parted lips.

“fuck, baby. you’re such a naughty girl, huh?” he asks, but you don’t respond. he doesn’t expect you to anyway considering the kind of state you’re in; it’s no wonder that all you can do is whine and tug on kazutoras shirt like a needy fucking slut. he leans down to kiss you softly, simply enjoying how pliant you are for him right now. you kiss him back messy and lazy, but it doesn’t matter. kazutora doesn’t mind doing all of the work for the both of you.

when he pulls away, you're practically asleep, lying limp on the mat, eyes fluttering between opened and closed as you breathe airily. kazutora won't allow you to slip away though, not until he's done fucking you senseless.

you gasp, yes widening as you quickly sit up after you feel something penetrate you. kazutora smirks as he works a finger into you slowly, tauntingly, watching your face carefully. he lets you catch your breath for a second before he pulls out and plunges his finger back in, and oh, you breathe so enchantingly as his long fingers reach deeply inside of you.

he keeps his eyes on you as he stuffs you with a second and then a third finger, watching intently as you gape your mouth and your eyes begin to water--it's too much, he gathers, but continues nonetheless. his fingers and mouth are nothing compared to his cock, so you'll have to get used to it.

kazutora only pulls his fingers out when your walls begin to tighten around him, indicating that you're close to another orgasm; he wants the next time you cum to be around his cock. kazutora pulls his fingers out and licks his fingers clean, to which you fluster over, before he takes off his clothes. he hisses as he grabs his painfully hard cock, stroking it a few measly times as he crawls back over you and aligns himself to your entrance. he slips in just the tip, and the moan that escapes your pretty mouth is just as sweet as the rest of them.

he hungrily leans down to swallow the rest of your moans that follow as he slides himself all the way in. you grab his shoulders with a jolt as the tears finally begin to slowly drip down your already tear stained face. kazutora holds your chin in place while he drags his tongue along your cheeks, drinking up every tear that spills from your pretty eyes like a man that's been dehydrated.

kazutoras base presses firmly against you at last, and with a strained groan, he pulls out and then pushes back in, this time with a little more force then before. you clench around him, mewling so innocently, unbeknownst to the amount of control kazutora has left--it's a miracle that he does have any left when you're sprawled out on full display for him, but if you keep making those noises and fluttering around him so generously, he may full well end up fucking you like a rabid animal, and that is not what he wants at all—not for your first time at least. 

trust him, he would more than love to hold you down and pound himself bruising into you until he's satisfied, but right now he just wants to hold you in his arms as he pleases you, take his time with it and make you feel loved. the threads of his patience are wearing, though.

you throw your heard back as kazutoras hips connect with yours, demanding and desperate, yet gentle in intention. every little movement he makes has you squirming in pleasure, eyes glassy, lips plump, and tongue lulled out of your mouth like a dumb cock-drunk whore. it's a sight that has kazutora shuddering and groaning lowly into your ear, which only does to make you more like putty in his hold. it feels so unbelievably good to have his body above you, caging you in as he fucks you steadily; it makes you want to cling onto him and beg for more, more, more, because you will never be able to get enough of it.

"fu—mmh—fuck, please! tora, tora i need it— need you," you babble on, writhing as that familiar coil in your stomach makes itself known. he smirks lazily above you, eyes hooded—there's a darkness to them now that wasn't there just a second ago, you note.

"hell, you sound like a proper whore, y/n. are you really that fucking cock hungry?" you choke on a moan at his words, but mostly due to the sharp thrust he does against your sopping cunt. you nod pathetically, slurring 'yes, yes,' even though his question was rhetorical. he snorts with a shake of his head as he leans down to nibble on your neck, no doubt leaving a mark, then he trails his nose up until you can feel the warmth of his breath on your ear.

"yeah, that's fuckin' right. who's making you feel this good?" he whispers and your thighs clench around his legs to keep even more slick from seeping onto them.

"you, you're," you say breathily, words slurred from the amount of overstimulation and pleasure you're feeling. a whine breaks from your lips when kazutora slows down and holds your wiggling hips in place.

"say my fuckin' name, call me tora or i won't let you cum, pretty baby," he growls, biting your neck in warning.

"you're makin' me feel so—hah—so good, tora," you choke on a weird moan-like sob when he shifts, sending a jolt through your body. "please, tora, don't stop. want you to make me cum," you finish, and he curses lowly into your neck. you sigh in content when he begins to thrust again. there's a little more force than before, but it drives you mad as your body pulsates with heat every time he drags his cock out and then straight back in.

"don't you ever fucking forget it," he mouths, almost high-pitched and whiney, "'m the only one that can fuck you like this, understand? you belong to me."

one of the hands on your hips comes to cup your clit, just for a second and then two of his fingers are rubbing on it at a pace that has you convulsing and crying in pleasure as you orgasm a second time. you call his name over and over again, once for every thrust that meets your hips, and you tug on his shoulders to bring him impossibly closer to your body.

kazutora curses and quickly pulls out of you before he cums, the warm liquid splattering on your heaving tummy, and he collapses on top of you, the both of you panting hotly as you come down from your pleasure highs.

© 2023 by kolyasobsession━all rights reserved. plagiarism is strictly prohibited. comments, likes, and reblog are highly appreciated.

[the-last-f2p]

May I request yandere tecchou and yandere jouno sharing a reader?

"YES" Screams the Hunting Dogs -minus Fukichi fan

TW: Kidnapping, torture, a tiny bit of gore,

Note: I tried something again :P duel prompt thing next (probably)

It's quiet. Maybe you've gone deaf from the amount of screaming happening, or maybe you've just died. Ah, there's Tecchou. You wanted to greet your favourite of your captors, but you have lost your voice. Shame.

Blame it on Jouno he might as well rip out your vocal chords at this point, to go along with your two broken legs and finger that's barely holding onto the rest of your body.

You should just laugh it off or something, though. It's basically a love language! Nevermind; focus on Tecchou. Focus on Tecchou.

"Are you okay? What did he do to you?" Tecchou asks with a little sense of worry; he's never been the type to hurt you, at least on purpose.

Nothing. As mentioned before, you have no voice. You wonder if Jouno can hear thoughts.

"Why are you talking to them? They're still in isolation idiot-" Well, he heard that. He seems to be just sitting in the kitchen though.

"Tonight..." More silence. Maybe Techhou's thinking of something to say, "I'm gonna play really loud music."

Silence again. This time the awkward kind of silence.

"I can't believe I agreed to do this." Jouno groans.

---

Tecchou is out on a mission today. You're left with him. Tecchou didn't keep his promise of playing really loud music, but he did something better. He let you out!

Jouno refused to sleep with you his loss, and as aforementioned, Tecchou is out on a mission. So you're alone. For like one hour, good enough maybe you'll sit and stare at a white wall OR sit and stare at a black wall.

"It's 1:00 in the morning go to sleep." Jouno tells you, leaning on the doorframe.

"No." You turn around to try to go under the covers.

"Then I'll make you go to sleep." Jouno rolls up his sleeves and starts walking over to you.

"Fine." You say, annoyedly.

"Good." Jouno responds.

Jouno sat down next to you in a nonchalant kind of way and just stared. In a blind way. He more listened. Listened awkwardly. Listned shamelessly. He didn't respond to your sideye (obviously). Or your verbal "Go away".

He stayed until you fell asleep, and you HOPED he left when you fell asleep.

---

Both Jouno and Tecchou decided to stay home today. Yay. Sarcastic. When you woke up, Jouno was still by your side. But Tecchou was draped over you, careful not to touch your still broken legs.

"Morning."

"Morning."

"Morning." You three exchanged mornings.

"You want breakfast?" Tecchou asks kindly.

"Not really," you respond.

"Too bad." Jouno gives you a plate of eggs and says, "made sure the physcopath didn't put sugar on them." THANK YOU, LORD JOUNO!

And it's quiet again. There's not a lot that's going to happen with Tecchou and Jouno together and with you "behaving." All you can do is just hope you'll either snuff it or escape soon.

[ilylovelyz]

mary

pair : levi x fem!reader

warning(s) : alcohol, levi is socially awkward and insecure, suggestive tones, reader is described to be extroverted and a chatterbox, jealousy, reader kinda comes off as neglectful, kinda angsty

word count : not that long like 4/500

note : based on mary by alex g. i thought of this while at a party im sleepy - this is all over the place it kinda has no plot

across the room sits levi.

across the room, he stares at the girl he loves. he stares at her with that one expression everyone knows. eye brows lightly furrowed, lips in a slight pout, arms crossed, legs crossed. to anyone he wasn't close with (so practically everyone), he looked upset. pissed off even.

but really, he wasn't mad. not even in the slightest. in reality, he was just watching the girl he wants to kiss.

he's not mad. rather he's curious. the way you draw everyone in, like moths drawn to a source of heat, it really makes him think.

he's sitting in a corner, by himself. he thinks he's not bothered by it, but he really is. he'd never admit it.

he has a lot. he feels content with the skills he has. many of jealous of him. he's strong. he's fast. he's smart. he's unbothered. but theres just something that he does not have that just pesters him in the back of his mind.

you're not really strong. you're not that fast. you're emotional and sometimes irrational. you are smart sometimes. you lack the qualities he has. yet, he can't help but he jealous of the quality you do have.

your leather heart that you wear on your sleeve is what he is jealous of.

he has all of those characteristics, yet he still sits alone in his corner, occasionally taking a sip of his pungent alcohol.

you on the other hand, everyone is listening and laughing with you. you are the center of tonight's attention. you've always been the center. everyone is always willing to chat with you. he understands why. your goofy contagious smile, the way you carry yourself - everyone loves you.

he wants your love - but you're over there, and he's over here. he understands why you'd want to be with instead. he's no fun to be around. he's so socially isolated he turns away those he wants to talk to. he just can't because he doesn't know what to say. hell, half of the people he knows, he only knows through you.

so for now, he watches you from afar, not wanting to ruin the moment with his blunt words or "insufferable" attitude. he watches the way your big red lips curl up into a sharp toothy-smile, your arms wrap around your fat hips as you have one of the best belly laughs you've had in a while.

you're so different to him, and yet he loves you more than anything. you're the girl he wants to fuck every time you dote over him, even when he's trying to push you away.

in the midst of all of this, he's so emotionally absent he didn't realize how you had walked over to his lonely corner.

"hey." you say, snapping him out of his thoughts. "hi." he says, immediately regretting as he feels like it was such an awkward response. he knows you know what he's feeling. "got bored of your loud ass buddies?" he says, taking another sip of his drink. "maybe. maybe i just want to be with you. who knows," you tease, taking a close seat next to him.

you're bigger than him, yet you can't help but learn your body weight against him, leaning your head on his. "tch, you stink like booze." he scolds. "your friends want you back," addressing the stares your friends are giving you, almost like they want to say something, but are probably to afraid to do so, because of levi. you ignore him, eyes closed and all relaxed on him.

"you're wasting your time being with me, i'm not going to do shots with you." he pries. today is one of the few days off given to you after a long a stressful couple of weeks. annoyed by his obvious attempt of pushing you away again, you open your eyes and grab his hand, wrapping it around your shoulder. "baby, i don't mind. i wanna be with you and 'waste my time'." you say, snuggling closer to him.

he loves you dearly. you're the only girl he wants to love.

[latenightswaudiobooks]

Weekly Mental Health Check In

10/29/2024

Hey! It’s me, your local messy book blogger here to check in because our mental health is important and typing about it to strangers on the internet is easier than opening up to people in person sometimes! I have this as another template so it’ll typically be the same questions, but if you’d also like to answer you do not have to follow it! 

How are you doing this week? I'm doing okay. My mental health hasn't been doing the best I have had some BPD splits which I felt coming on for a few weeks so have been very low and isolating trying not to have one. It has seemed to lift though today I'm feeling social and excited.

What’s been on your mind this week? We have to deep clean the house this weekend and I'm not sure if I'm gonna be able to do it if I keep flaring up (POTS & chronic pain) like this.

How are you coping with that? I'm angry at myself.

How have you been sleeping? not the best most of the week but i slept great last night!

Have you been meeting your body's needs? I should probably eat and brush my hair a lot more often if I'm honest!

What one thing can you do for yourself this week? I'm gonna try to get outside more this week

What entertainment are you taking in this week? I've been watching Grimm with my fiancee I've never watched it before, but I really like it!

One thing I'm grateful for this week: My fiancee and her endless patience, kindness, and her want to understand me. I couldn't ever thank her enough for that.

One thing you're looking forward to this week: I've got meeting/dinner/game night with all my coworkers tonight and a group of us are participating a trivia night this weekend so I'm excited to hangout with my friends from work!

Remember you are not alone! Remember no matter what you are deserving of self care! Remember no matter what someone cares for you even if you don’t know it. You have made it through all the hard times before you can make it through this too! If nothing else, live out of spite that you could outlive your enemy.

[canipetthatdeaddove]

Lol here I am with the opportunity to drink and you know why I won't?

I'm too depressed. Drinking can't help me. NOTHING can.

This a new fucking low. Today I almost destroyed my garden. I might still tomorrow, or tonight in the middle of the night. I don't know.

I isolated but either tried to sleep or stayed manically busy. Didn't smoke, didn't drink, didn't eat, didn't hydrate, didn't talk except to "let the poison", which is what I call verbalizing the toxic thoughts. So I told myself a lot about why I hate myself, and how much. Yeah I know, no good. Neither was anything else I did.

My meds are current, with the exception of my no-drinkie med, which is on back order. I could drink right now without the consequences of that medicine (not NO consequences, I'm not stupid, just an addict but in my case whats the diff). I'm more hurt and appalled that the one person who knew this chose to shit all over me today. Poor pathetic me, bulled by my offspring and little sister. I am such a waste.

The argument that circles the drain is, whats more traumatizing? Losing a parent you already hate and can't forgive and is the cause of so much damage already, or having to, in fact, live with one? I don't trust this world with them, so it's not happening. But its a miserable conversation to live with. "Surely they'd be better off without me. Or I'll doom them to unhappiness forever by exiting existence. Unless I'm really actually so bad that they'd be better off, even if they don't know it, or never will. But no, you can't trust even your closest family, everyone lets you down, they wouldn't do any better for your child. So you're stuck. LOL."

And then there's tumblr. I was stupid enough to sign up for an event I'm already fucked up over. Why do I ever TRY. I trick myself into thinking I don't walk into a room and immediately kill the vibe.

I am going to try and get through the rest of life as a block of cement. (Not, like, mob style. I mean emotionally speaking.)

Happy Fucking Mother's Day.

After this post I am safely going to bed. I will sleep, and then wake up in the morning and try again. I need a space to talk about the ideation, but I don't intend to cause alarm. I have safety plans in place and no other plans of any kind. I am not suicidal, I struggle with suicidal ideation. I've never made a plan or an attempt. And I'm not interested in relapsing nor a danger to anyone else. I'm just... miserable, probably deservedly so. No one can fix it, I just need the void to scream into.

[jadagul]

I beat FFXII today. (I want to go back and do some more completionism, but I beat the final boss and watched the credits.) And honestly, while I didn't hate it, I was disappointed.

I have about 90 hours in the game. That's about twice as long as the next-longest Final Fantasy I know my playtime for (for a single playthrough, I mean). And that seems like a good thing—there's lots of Content—but to me it underscores how empty the game is that I have twice as much time in it and it feels like much less has happened.

The story just generally felt underwritten; I've said it before and I stand by that. It's not that anything was bad; it just felt like characters had isolated scenes with isolated character beats that weren't prepared or resolved. They probably should have taken some of those extensive space airship battles that definitely aren't from Star Wars and replaced them with cutscenes involving the actual characters in the actual story.

It didn't help that there were often hours of play between one plot scene and the next—another place the long playtime rears its head. Of course, a lot of that was me going off on sidequests. This game has a ton of sidequests, and at least most of them it telegraphs pretty clearly. That's nice, in that it shows you the content; but it winds up keeping the focus off the actual story when there are hours of "go kill random bosses" in between each story quest.

And it also always hurts me as a somewhat-roleplayer to go do sidequests when in theory my characters should be under time pressure. ("Oh, there's a giant sky fortress leading a fleet towards my hometown. Now is a perfect time to run errands!) One of the things I most liked about Breath of the Wild is that it basically justifies your desire to run around sidequesting rather than fight the final boss. That's a diegetic, in-character decision that gets discussed.

And the climax feels equally half-assed. I was genuinely surprised that the game ended where it did; it really felt like it needed at least one more act. (I hadn't planned to finish tonight!) The final final boss is way more arbitrary than most FF final bosses, and might even beat out FFIXs. And honestly the credits didn't wrap up nearly as much as I expected, either.

And the gameplay wasn't awful but wasn't super fun. The gambit system was neat, although I kept wanting it to be more fine-grained. (I wish I could and two gambit instructions!) The fights were sometimes a little too chaotic to tell what was going on clearly, and I really don't like the reliance on fuck-you "this boss is immune to everything for the next thirty seconds" fields.

Some of the bonus bosses were interesting and tense and fun. But if you're doing them, the story bosses then become pretty trivial. At the same time, even with doing a bunch of the optional content it's easy to be missing what I think of as core abilities, which made the optional content not really feel optional to me. (And I still don't have any of the, like, top two or three tiers of abilities or equipment. God only knows how boring the final boss would be if I'd actually done all the sidequests first.)

So yeah. I got 90 hours of playtime, and I'm probably going to get more, and I don't regret playing it. But I was disappointed, and I'd have a hard time recommending it.

[gynandromorph]

unfortunately, we have 3 dogs who are all close in age and elderly at this point. the oldest is probably not going to make it more than 2 weeks, although i don't even know if i'll wake up and get to walk her tomorrow. we've decided that there's not even a point to making her eat dog food she barely wants anymore. i went to see her tonight with a lick mat of whipped cream after walking with her a lot today (at a petco, because it was too cold out) and she was too weak to get up. she was too weak to get up earlier today, too, for the walk. i can't even say the stress will start to ease after she dies, because the second oldest dog isn't looking great right now. she's had an upper respiratory infection that's forced her to be isolated from the animals for weeks. she's been peeing everywhere in her room daily and the antibiotics have made her too nauseous to want to eat anymore. right before i just showered i was holding her while my sister syringed her like 10 times in a row in the hopes she could keep food down. for the record, her appetite stimulant is on back-order, and we don't know if they'll require another appointment just to get her some fucking nausea-be-gone pills for the meds they literally prescribed for her, known to cause nausea. we've spent thousands on these dogs over the last few months and the financial burden is definitely felt by everyone. we're at the point where it's like, "i literally do not have the money to pay for another appointment"

anyway yeah needless to say i've been giving the dying dog a lot of my time and attention and it's going to affect my work

[cicaklah]

Hi Cicak! From forget what I need, give me what I want

(sorry not sure if this is at or less than 500 words…)

“Usually, she blends into the crowd, even though there isn’t much need for it these days. 

Their change in circumstances has meant a change to their operating procedure. Without the bureaucracy of the ICA, the need for complex, isolated covers has been dispensed with, and a simpler approach can be taken. A joint cover more than suffices, one of moderate wealth, professionals who do professional things, a married couple who are quietly devoted, no drama. They wear rings; they have investments. Normal people, hiding their extraordinariness in the plainest of sights.

Although not today, it seems, by the outright stares of most of the men and some of the women at this usually so very humble regional airport.

(“I know what it’s like to have everything taken from me,” Diana had said, harshly, that first night they broke the rules. The echo of his own words back at him was deliberate, and the implication was heard loud and clear. I am done with being alone.

“So take it back,” he had said to her, and she had.) 

Tonight she takes a little bit more of him, the way she is dressed is enough to kill a weaker man. It’s not so much that she is wearing something inappropriate, the dress covers her and this is a free country as far as sumptuary laws go, but it's the way she’s wearing his favourite suit jacket over her simple dress that clings insouciant to her curves, the way it looks like the jacket is all she’s wearing, the way she wears it like a statement, it is that, that makes him that little bit more hers all over again.

She kisses his cheek exactly where the woman had kissed him earlier, but this time Diana’s lipstick is stark red in comparison to his earlier partner’s tasteful nude. This is the marking of a territory. 

It is incredibly erotic to be branded for all around them to see. He likes it.”

so this whole fic was written because the hitman fic prompt generator accidentally made the perfect cicak prompt, and so I was leaning a lot into my own bullshit.

I find it very personally erotic and tantalising to use phrases like "the night they first broke all the rules" as a stand in for like, 200k of slow burn I never will be the right woman to write. I still think its a hell of a line. I probably stole it from someone else, and I will probably reuse it again.

Also right, not enough is made of the hotness of Diana wearing 47's jacket just in general, okay? Wearing a man's suit jacket is Very Sexy. Wearing it deliberately to remind the man you love that he has everything he needs at home is a very Diana thing to do. I like writing Diana and 47 being ridiculously in love with each other but still very uncertain that they're allowed to have this, that they are safe, that no one cares about them, they can be in love. Like the ICA still lives in their heads, and so they have to try really bloody hard to overcome it, which ends up with Diana wearing his jacket and marking him with her lipstick and 47 loving it. The prompt was so happy together, and I wanted to capture that but still have them feel like them. They are living in a new paradigm and they kind of suck at it. Psychopaths in love, basically. My faves <3

Also, sumptuary is one of my favourite words. Sumptuary, Quotidian...plus all the others I can't remember right now.

[whentherewerebicycles]

mmkay the day is getting away from me a bit but that’s all right. got up at 5:30, left comments on a couple student drafts, showered/got ready, then had two meetings with students who are working on grad school SOPs. that was a nice way to start the day, as it got me up & out of my bedroom (always the biggest hurdle I face lol). then i spent some time updating my 2022 recipes document, which was fun. in five months I’ve cooked 47 new dishes! i’m thinking about doing a little project later where i write down the names of all the dishes I’d cook again on little folded-up pieces of paper, then put them into a big jar to pull ideas from anytime i’m feeling uninspired or want to shake things up a bit. i think that might help me remember dishes i really liked but don’t automatically think of when i’m trying to decide on a meal.

i feel a little bleh today but i think it’s because 1) it was such an overcast morning, 2) i am still a little bit in the funk of old job! it’s going to take some time to shake off the dominant mood of the past 10 months!, and 3) i’ve been feeling unusually socially isolated this weekend. i like lots of time alone but at certain moments the alone time can start to tip over into loneliness, especially when everyone is busy (traveling or working or with family). i’m sure the feelings are also probably exacerbated by social media... like it seems as if everyone else in the entire world has long weekend plans whereas i’m just puttering around at home in my usual routines, trying to fill empty time. but that’s ok... i’ll be back at work tomorrow, with tons of social contact with new people, and this slight gloom will pass. i think/hope work will eventually help me make friends (lots of women around my own age who share similar interests) and will at least push me to get out of the house every day. plus i only have two more months until L & A move here, and liz is such a friend-making force that i will hopefully just be able to ride her coattails into a larger social circle aha. i should also probably pick up some hobbies that will get me out of the house... will have to think on that more.

okay okay. shake off the gloom jes! the sun is starting to slowly come out so i should probably get outside. i think i’ll eat real quick then pack the dogs into the car and drive to this park/little trail system near our house we haven’t explored yet. getting some outdoor time & exercise will probably make me feel better, and then i can come home and work on my little recipe jar project if i want, or read this 70-page report if i am in the mood to work on job-related stuff, or curl up on the big couch and read six of crows. might get dinner with my sister tonight if she gets off work earlyish, but tbd!

[jedi-bird]

Tried to keep myself busy today with limited success. Partially cleaned the bathroom that my cat was isolating in (I'll be scrubbing litter out of the grout for weeks) before that got too depressing. Planted the new discounted bulbs I got. Ordered a replacement orthopedic cat bed to replace that one that I had to toss, plus an extra so they don't fight over them (they were on sale so it wasn't an issue). Tidied the kitchen a bit, did a lot of laundry, finally brought the storage boxes I got for the linen cabinet upstairs, and scrubbed out the shower.

I'm really missing my cat. Tonight and tomorrow I'm probably going to cry a lot. We had a long time together and she had a good life but it's hard.

And I'm out of little things to putter around doing so I'm going to have to think now.

[gu6chan]

played DND for the first time today!!!!!!

it was a lot of fun omg, thinking i might make updates on this blog but our cast is

dragonborne named laiona bane i think, whose a 16 y/o divine sorcerer pyromancer/healer living on their own after their whole criminal gang got arrested and they were let off being considered a hostage because SURELY there would be no way someone favoured by the gods could do anything evil!!! so now theyre running a brothel that fronts as a bar/inn and is constantly causing arson and chaos wherever she goes. her bodyguard hates her

her bodyguard (meeeee!!!! :D) Margarette who is a 195cm (6 foot 4) 36 y/o woman paladin who was raised by a fairy to take the place of his dead son??? brother???? family members in a VERY isolated forest made up entirely of faeries save for the one (1) temporary human settlement her father helped run before it fell apart. anyways her father WAS very loving but she'd has been having a crisis since discovering she's a woman AFTER her father passed away and said human settlement collapsed and just trying to figure out "What being her own person and not an extension of a dead one means/what is this whole woman thing about/what does this do/what are THESE/what the fuck, dad" and lived as the ONE human with a bunch of jackass faerie neighbours before going on a quest of ✨self-exploration✨ (in which she "chose" the name margarette for herself, since it sounds "woman" enough??? which is what she is, she supposes, since she's OBVIOUSLY not her father's dead relative is what she's learned!!!) she enters the first bar she sees after a while and is immediately suspicious of it THEN after confronting the owner (laiona) about it she's like "...do you need somewhere to work?" and now is living as a personal bodyguard for her. she Very Notably sounds like a grown man and is a dick to Everyone

A poor centaur farmer girl named Valerie living a normal life on the farm with her father and goes to their town to sell vegetables and goes to get a quick bite to eat/place to stay the night at laiona's """inn"""" and 1. ends up having to sleep outside because they don't have any rooms that fit her 2. ends up getting harassed by a 40 y/o wizard drunk off his ass from 1 beer who eats an entire hamburger staring her dead in the eye the entire time. she gives him a carrot in pity because he looks about to keel over (he looks 80). margarette calls her "horse" and she's very sad about it :(

said 40 y/o wizard named Mangor who lives in some EXTREMELY magical old forest with probable great importance off in the corner of the map??? he befriends animals and puts them in his little book and then releases them when he needs to like pokemon. he has a lava snail he uses for travel that he keeps under his hat called Schnecke and it was his first friend. he came the whole 1400+ miles for a burger because they dont have them in the Forest of Elders only to get drunk off of one beer, eat a carrot and stumble out onto the street. margarette didn't like him she wanted him out IMMEDIATELY but liona was very fond of him which is where things start up :)

SO the plot is

After Valerie turns in for the night Maggie sees Mangor stumbling drunk through the streets, and being AWFULLY suspicious he might be a secret informant of the knights templar she grabs him and drags him by the foot back to give him a room for the night and prevent him from leaving till she gets a read on just WHAT is going on, BUT liona catches them and is like "omg its that guy from earlier. hes kinda silly isnt he lol" and knowing exactly where she was going maggie was like "No the fuck you do NOT" anyways she makes her get him a new pair of pants and another burger (She is not pleased about this being JUST paid to be a bodyguard and now additionally having to act as a personal maid for this drunk perverted wizard, but liona was like "DO IT or ur working with the hoes tonight" rip margarette.... 😭) AND she made them bunk with each other. maggie made him sleep on the floor lmao he has night terrors So MEANWHILE liona's like "You know what Margarette. we should get out more. lets do a few quests, have a few adventures etc i wanna try this guy out he looks like he could use it" which maggie ALSO is not a fan of bc she always has to get her out of trouble when they do and they were also interrogated by an officer of the knights templar EARLIER (Which Liona got out of by citing several protection clauses and laws and constitutional amendments that did not exist) so they should Absolutely Not Ever leave the bar alone at that point in time

but liona absolutely does NOT listen and instead gathers them all to find a steed, which she picks as the poor farmer girl who was staying overnight to they go out to her stable like "Hey. how much do you charge if we were asking you to travel ~ miles" and maggie's like "you COULD ask me and i could get it for free for us if i wanted (by threatening her). lol. lmao even" but it chalks up to 30 gold. anyways they go to sleep and all wake up in some fuckoff cave, maggie wakes up first, IMMEDIATELY blames the wizard but seeing he has no idea whats going on she checks on Valerie, and finally (even if she REALLY didn't want to) gives up to report to her boss. they all check outside the cave, which is on a cliff and liona tries scaling, only to fail but not DIE fortunately So they continue deeper into the cave, only to find a sort of??? curved hallway? thing, though its thin to where they have to walk in a line. the walls are made of mist, and after maggie tries to put her hand through one she finds you can go right through it. liona ties herself to some rope to see where the mist leaves with maggie holding the other end to keep track of her and so she can pull her back if needed, except its found that it actually LOOPS and liona comes right back out from the OTHER wall. both she and mangor go crazy with this and are just running loops while Valerie and Margarette are standing there like "i hate my life" Eventually the rope DOES somehow get used up and liona can't run any further so Maggie makes her run back 😭 BUT she suddenly hears her father calling for her, causing her to turn around and then suddenly everyone is gone, mangor gets lost from the group and liona also turns around when she notices margarette's no longer holding the rope, which ALSO separates her from the rest of the group. the only one whose left standing is valerie, who eventually comes across Margarette and calls out for her but is ignored as Margarette continues to search for the voice of her father. Valerie eventually is forced to turn around when Liona finds HER though and decides to smack her on the ass, forcing her to turn around before LIONA is "confronted" by the officer of the knight templar from before who says they've completely destroyed the tavern. meanwhile Mangor eventually gets a little anxious and eventually takes off his hat to hold his snail (It made a very nice popping noise as it was pulled off his bald head) and holds it in his arms for a while BEFORE HIS FUCKING SNAIL LOOKS BACK AND VANISHES INTO THIN AIR which causes mangor to have a complete balls to the wall agonised meltdown 😭 meanwhile valerie turns around AGAIN hearing the voice of her father calling for her to come back to the farm and margarette does as well trying to go back to look for liona and the rest, and now things are starting to look a bit,,,, wrong???? the mist is more bloody and the ground turned from porcelain tiles to kinda,,, bad sludge and eventually it gets to where its just flesh and hardened blood for walls, not great!!! AND THEN!!! liona has turned around SO many times she eventually hears something sneaking up behind her and TRIES to fight it off, turns around AGAIN and is safe for like 3 seconds before she realises she's in some place so dark she can't even cast a spell to light it up. she eventually gets grabbed and pulled into this strange monster that just crushes her from the sides until all her bones are broken and she dies the SECOND to go is valerie, who ironically only looked back twice and was DETERMINED to keep going since she was the first to figure out the whole "Turning back = not good" gimmick. She hears something approaching from behind and STARTS attempting an attack but it grabs onto her before she can, latches onto her legs from behind and flattens her to death with its fists :( rip valerie....

anyways while those two were being met with gruesome deaths, Margarette starts hearing something sneaking up behind her after trying to call out for her father and stays STILL, debating whether or not to try calling out for the OTHERS or stay quiet and try to time an attack against this thing without looking back by stabbing it from behind her waist with her polearm, and Mangor who ALSO started to hear footsteps did the exact opposite by repeatedly looking behind him to try and get away from whatever was approaching him 😭 ends up backfiring though till he eventually casts a poison spell and IMMEDIATELY fills the entire vicinity with poison which he promptly breathes in and dies from khfgkdfhsghkdjf not before seeing the "monster" that was stalking him which was a charred version of himself with a gaping maw for a mouth tho

The last one to go is Maggie who I'm ngl I was surprised to see her last this long BUT she SEVERELY messes up her timing trying to stab behind her only to have her polearm grabbed and yanked BACK instead, and eventually got pulled back by what felt like a bunch of little hands yanking at her clothes. she tries for her javelins before it grabs her bag and ALMOST considers just stripping and letting go of all her weaponry, items, etc. to at least get out alive but at that point it ends up touching her skin directly and literally burning it off before she gets completely devoured by "whatever" this is 😔 as it turns out she was the only one NOT to die/have a direct encounter with an otherworldly silent hill-ass creature, but Mangor's pet snail 😭😭😭

anyways, they all wake up on a road thoroughly traumatised and confused and that's where we left off for the first round!!!! it was a lot of fun!!!!!!!! Here's Maggie btw!!! she's an actual OC for a different story of mine :)