#( verse four ) : everything happens for a reason ;;

[wisteria-lodge]

So when I look at Harry Potter, my goal is to separate what I think the books are intending to say, from what they actually say, from what the movies say… and what the common fan interpretation is. So today I’m interested in Dumbledore, and specifically in the common headcanon of  Manipulative/Morally Gray Dumbledore. Is that (intentionally or unintentionally) supported by the text?

PART I:  Omniscient Dumbledore

“I think he knows more or less everything that goes on here”

In Book 1, yes Dumbledore honestly does seem to know everything. He 100% arranged for Harry to find the Mirror of Erised, publicly left Hogwarts in order to nudge Quirrell into going after the Stone, and knew what Quirrell was doing the whole time. It is absolutely not a stretch, and kind of heavily implied, that the reason the Stone’s protections feel like a little-end-of-the-year exam designed to put Harry through his paces… is because they are. As the series goes on this interpretation only gets more plausible, when we see the kind of protections people can put up when they don’t want anyone getting through. 

Book 1 Dumbledore knows everything… but what he’s actually going to do about it is anyone’s guess. One of the first things we learn is that some of Dumbledore’s calls can be… questionable. McGonagall questions his choice to leave Harry with the Dursleys, Hermione questions his choice to give Harry the Cloak and let him go after the Stone, Percy and Ron both matter-of-factly call him “mad.” The “nitwit, blubber, oddment, tweak” speech is a joke where Dumbledore says he’s going to say a few words, then literally does say a few (weird) words. I know there are theories that those particular words are supposed to be insulting the four houses, or referencing the Hogwarts house stereotypes, or that they’re some kind of warning. But within the text, this is pure Lewis Carroll British Nonsense Verse stuff (and people came up with answers to the impossible Alice in Wonderland “why is a raven like a writing desk” riddle too.) 

This characterization also explains a lot of Dumbledore’s decisions about how to run a school, locked in during Book 1. Presumably Binns, Peeves, Filch, Snape are all there because Dumbledore finds them funny, atmospheric, and/or character building. He's just kind of a weird guy.  He absolutely knew that Lockhart was a fraud in Book 2 (with that whole “Impaled upon your own sword, Gilderoy?” thing after Lockhart oblivates himself. ) So maybe he is also there to be funny/atmospheric/character building, or to teach Harry a lesson about fame, or because Dumbledore is using the cursed position to bump off people he doesn’t like. Who knows.

(I actually don’t think JKR had locked in “the DADA position is literally cursed by Voldemort” until Book 6. )

Dumbledore absolutely knows that Harry is listening in when Lucius Malfoy comes to take Hagrid to Azkaban, and it’s fun to speculate that maybe he let himself get fired in Book 2 as part of a larger plan to boot Lucius off the Board of Governors. So far, that’s the sort of thing he’d do.  But in Books 3 and 4, we are confronted with a number of important things that Dumbledore just missed. He doesn’t know any of the Marauders were animagi, he doesn’t know what really happened with the Potter’s Secret Keeper, doesn’t know Moody is Crouch, and doesn’t know the Marauders Map even exists. But in Books 5 and 6, his omniscience does seem to come back online. (In a flashback, Voldemort even comments that he is "omniscient as ever” when Dumbledore lists the specific Death Eaters he has in Hogsmeade as backup.) Dumbledore knows exactly what Draco and Voldemort are planning, and his word is taken as objective truth by the entire Order of the Phoenix - who apparently only tolerate Snape because Dumbledore vouches for him:

“Snape,” repeated McGonagall faintly, falling into the chair. “We all wondered . . . but he trusted . . . always . . . Snape . . . I can’t believe it. . . .”  “Snape was a highly accomplished Occlumens,” said Lupin, his voice uncharacteristically harsh. “We always knew that.”  “But Dumbledore swore he was on our side!” whispered Tonks. “I always thought Dumbledore must know something about Snape that we didn’t. . . .”  “He always hinted that he had an ironclad reason for trusting Snape,” muttered Professor McGonagall (...) “Wouldn’t hear a word against him!”

McGonagall questions Dumbledore about the Dursleys, but not about Snape. I see this as part of the larger trend of basically Dumbledore’s deification. In the beginning of the series, he’s treated as a clever, weird dude. By the end, he’s treated like a god. 

PART II: Chessmaster Dumbledore

“I prefer not to keep all my secrets in one basket.”

When Dumbledore solves problems, he likes to go very hands-off. He didn’t directly teach Harry about the Mirror of Erised - he gave him the Cloak, knew he would wander, and moved the Mirror so it would be in his path. He sends Snape to deal with Quirrell and Draco, rather than do it himself. He (or his portrait) tells Snape to confund Mundungus Fletcher and get him to suggest the Seven Potters strategy. He puts Mrs. Figg in place to watch Harry, then ups the protection in Book 5 - all without informing Harry. The situation with Slughorn is kind of a Dumbledore-manipulation master class - even the way he deliberately disappears into the bathroom so Harry will have enough solo time to charm Slughorn. Of course he only wants Slughorn under his roof in the first place to pick his brain about Voldemort… but again, instead of doing that himself, he gets Harry to do it for him. 

Dumbledore has a moment during Harry’s hearing in Book 5 (which he fakes evidence for) where he informs Fudge that Harry is not under the Ministry’s jurisdiction while at Hogwarts. Which has insane implications. It’s never explicitly stated, but as the story goes on, it at least makes sense that Dumbledore is deliberately obscuring how powerful he is, and how much influence he really has, by getting other people to do things for him. But the problem with that is because he is so powerful, it become really easy for a reader to look back after they get more information and say… well if Dumbledore was controlling the situation… why couldn’t he have done XYZ. Here are two easy examples from Harry’s time spent with the Dursleys:

1. Mrs. Figg is watching over Harry from day one, but she can’t tell him she’s a squib and also she has to keep him miserable on purpose:

“Dumbledore’s orders. I was to keep an eye on you but not say anything, you were too young. I’m sorry I gave you such a miserable time, but the Dursleys would never have let you come if they’d thought you enjoyed it. It wasn’t easy, you know…”

It’s pretty intense to think of Dumbledore saying “oh yes, invite this little child over and keep him unhappy on purpose.” But okay. It’s important to keep Harry ignorant of the magical world and vice versa. fine. But once he goes to Hogwarts… that doesn’t apply anymore?  I’m sure when Harry thinks he’s going to be imprisoned permanently in his bedroom during Book 2, it would’ve been comforting to know that Dumbledore was sending around someone to check on him. And when he literally runs away from home in Book 3… having the address of a trusted adult that he could easily get to would have been great for everybody. 

2. When Vernon is about to actually kick Harry out during Book 5, Dumbledore sends a howler which intimidates Petunia into insisting that Harry has to stay. Vernon folds and does exactly what she says. If Dumbledore could intimidate Petunia into doing this, then why couldn’t he intimidate her into, say - giving Harry the second bedroom instead of a cupboard. Or fixing Harry’s glasses. In Book 1, the Dursleys don’t bother Harry during the entire month of August because Hagrid gives Dudley a pig’s tail. In the summer between third and fourth year, the Dursleys back off because Harry is in correspondence with Sirius (a person they fear.) But the Dursleys are afraid of all wizards. Like at this point it doesn’t seem that hard to intimidate them into acting decently to Harry. 

PART III: Dumbledore and the Dursleys 

“Not a pampered little prince”

JKR wanted two contradictory things. She wanted Dumbledore to be a fundamentally good guy: a wise, if eccentric mentor figure. But she also wanted Harry to have a comedically horrible childhood being locked in a cupboard, denied food, given broken glasses and ill fitting/embarrassing clothes, and generally made into a little Cinderella. Then, it’s a bigger contrast when he goes to Hogwarts and expulsion can be used as an easy threat. (Although the only person we ever see expelled is Hagrid, and that was for murder.)

So, there are a couple of tricks she uses to make it okay that Dumbledore left Harry at the Dursleys.’ The first is that once Harry leaves…  nothing that happens there is given emotional weight. When he’s in the Wizarding World, he barely talks about Dursleys, barely thinks about them. They almost never come up in the narration (unless Harry’s worried about being expelled, or they’re sending him comedically awful presents.) They are completely cut from movies 4, 6, and 7 part 2 - and you do not notice. 

The second trick… is that Dumbledore himself clearly doesn’t think that the Dursleys are that bad. During the King’s Cross vision-quest, he describes 11-year-old Harry as “alive and healthy (...) as normal a boy as I could have hoped under the circumstances. Thus far, my plan was working well.”  

Now, this could have been really interesting. Like in a psychological way, I get it. Dumbledore had a rocky home life. Dad in prison, mom spending all her time taking care of his volatile and dangerous sister. Aberforth seems to have reacted to the situation by running completely wild, it’s implied that he never even had formal schooling… and Albus doubled down on being the Golden Child, making the family look good from the outside, and finding every means possible to escape. I would have believed it if Molly or Kingsley had a beat of being horrified by the way the Dursleys are treating Harry… but Dumbledore treats it as like, whatever. Business as usual. 

But that isn’t the framing that the books use. Dumbledore is correct that the Dursleys aren’t that bad, and I think it’s because JKR fundamentally does not take the Dursleys seriously as threats. I also think she has a fairly deeply held belief that suffering creates goodness, so possibly Harry suffering at the hands of the Dursleys… was necessary? To make him good? Dumbledore himself has an arc of ‘long period of suffering = increased goodness.’ So does Severus Snape, Dudley‘s experience with the Dementor kickstarts his character growth, etc. It’s a trope she likes.

It’s only in The Cursed Child that the Dursleys are given any kind of weight when it comes to Harry’s psyche. This is one of the things that makes me say Jack Thorne wrote that play, because it’s just not consistent with how JKR likes to write the Dursleys. It’s consistent with the way fanfiction likes to write the Dursleys. And look, The Cursed Child is fascinatingly bad, I have so many problems with it, but it does seem to be doing like … a dark reinterpretation of Harry Potter? And it’s interested in saying something about cycles of abuse. I can absolutely see how the way the play handles things is flattering to JKR. It retroactively frames the Dursleys’ abuse in a more negative way, and maybe that’s something she wanted after criticism that the Harry Potter books treat physical abuse kind of lightly. (i.e.  Harry at the hands of the Dursleys, and house-elves at the hands of everybody. Even Molly Weasley “wallops” Fred with a broomstick.) 

PART IV: Dumbledore and Harry

“The whole Potter–Dumbledore relationship. It’s been called unhealthy, even sinister”

So whenever Harry feels betrayed by Dumbledore in the books - and he absolutely does, it’s some of JKR’s best writing  - it’s not because he left him with the Dursleys. It’s because Dumbledore kept secrets from him, or lied to him, or didn’t confide in him on a personal level. 

“Look what he asked from me, Hermione! Risk your life, Harry! And again! And again! And don’t expect me to explain everything, just trust me blindly, trust that I know what I’m doing, trust me even though I don’t trust you! Never the whole truth! Never!” (...) I don’t know who he loved, Hermione, but it was never me. This isn’t love, the mess he’s left me in. He shared a damn sight more of what he was really thinking with Gellert Grindelwald than he ever shared with me.”

Eventually though, Harry falls in line with the rest of the Order, and treats Dumbledore as an all-knowing God. And this decision comes so close to being critiqued…  but the series never quite commits. Rufus Scrimgeour comments that, “Well, it is clear to me that [Dumbledore] has done a very good job on you” - implying that Harry is a product of a deliberate manipulation,  and that the way Harry feels about Dumbledore is a direct result of how he's been controlling the situation (and Harry.)  But Harry responds to “[You are] Dumbledore’s man through and through, aren’t you, Potter?” with “Yeah, I am. Glad we straightened that out,” and it’s treated as a badass, mic drop line. 

Ron goes on to say that Harry maybe shouldn’t be trusting Dumbledore and maybe his plan isn’t that great… but then he abandons his friends, regrets what he did, and is only able to come back because Dumbledore knew he would react this way? So that whole thing only makes Dumbledore seem more powerful? Aberforth  tells Harry (correctly) that Dumbledore is expecting too much of him and he’s not interested in making sure that he survives:

“How can you be sure, Potter, that my brother wasn’t more interested in the greater good than in you? How can you be sure you aren’t dispensable (...) Why didn’t he say… ‘Take care of yourself, here’s how to survive’? (...) You’re seventeen, boy!”

But, Aberforth is treated as this Hamish Abernathy type who has given up, and needs Harry to ignite his spark again. There’s a pretty dark line in the script of Deathly Hallows Part 2:

Which at least shows this was a possible  interpretation the creative team had in their heads… but then of course it isn’t actually in the movie. 

So in the end, insane trust in Dumbledore is only ever treated as proper and good. Then in Cursed Child they start using “Dumbledore” as an oath instead of “Merlin” and it’s weird and I don’t like it.

PART V: Dumbledore and his Strays

“I have known, for some time now, that you are the better man.”

So Dumbledore has this weird relationship pattern. He has a handful of people he pulled out of the fire at some point and (as a result) these people are insanely loyal to him.  They do his dirty work, and he completely controls them. This is an interesting pattern, because I think it helps explain why so many fans read Dumbledore’s relationship with Snape (and with Harry) as sinister. 

Let’s start with the first of Dumbledore’s “strays.” Dumbledore saves Hagrid's livelihood and probably life after he is accused of opening the Chamber of Secrets - and then he uses Hagrid to disappear Harry after the Potters' death, gets him to transport the Philosopher’s Stone, and he’s the one who he trusts to be Harry’s first point of contact with the Wizarding World.  Also, Hagrid's situation doesn’t change? Even after he is cleared of opening the Chamber of Secrets, he keeps using that pink flowered umbrella with his broken wand inside, a secret that he and Dumbledore seem to share. He could get a legal wand, he could continue his education. But he doesn’t seem to, and I don’t know why. 

So, Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality is a well known fix-it fic that basically asks “What if Harry Potter was a machiavellian little super genius who solves the plot in a year?” I enjoyed it when it was coming out, but the only thing I would call a cheat is the way McGonagall brings Harry to Diagon Alley instead of Hagrid. Because a Harry Potter who has spent a couple of days with McGonagall is going to be much better informed, better equipped and therefore more powerful than a Harry spending the same amount of time with Hagrid. McGonagall is both a lot more knowledgeable and a lot less loyal to Dumbledore. She is loyal, obviously, but she also questions his choices in a way that Hagrid never does. And as a result, Dumbledore does not trust her with the same kind of delicate jobs he trusts to Hagrid.

Mrs. Figg is another one of Dumbledore’s strays. She’s a squib, so we can imagine that she doesn’t really have a lot of other options, and he sets her up to keep tabs on (and be unpleasant to) little Harry. He also has her lie to the entire Wizangamot, which has got to present some risk. Within this framework, Snape is another very clear stray. Dumbledore kept him out of Azkaban, and is the only reason that the Order trusts him. He gets sent on on dangerous double-agent missions… but before that he’s sort of kept on hand, even though he’s clearly miserable at Hogwarts. Firenze is definitely a stray - he can't go back to the centaurs, and who other than Dumbledore is going to hire him? And I do wonder about Trelawney. We don’t know much about her relationship with Dumbledore, but I wouldn’t be at all surprised if she was a stray as well.

I think there was an attempt to turn Lupin into a stray that didn’t… quite work. He is clearly grateful to Dumbledore for letting him attend Hogwarts and then for hiring him, but Lupin doesn’t really hit that necessary level of trustworthy that the others do. Most of what Dumbledore doesn’t know in Book 3 are things that Lupin could have told him, and didn’t. If had to think of a Watsonsian reason why Remus is given all these solo missions away from the other Order members (that never end up mattering…) it’s because I don’t think Dumbledore trusts him that much. Lupin doubts him too much. 

“Dumbledore believed that?” said Lupin incredulously. “Dumbledore believed Snape was sorry James was dead? Snape hated James. . . .”

 We also see Dumbledore start the process of making Draco into a stray by promising to protect him and his parents. And with all of that… it’s kind of easy to see how Harry fits the profile. He has a very bleak existence (which Dumbledore knows about.) He is pulled out of it by Dumbledore’s proxies. It’s not surprising that Harry develops a Hagrid-level loyalty, especially after Dumbledore saves him from Barty, from his Ministry hearing, and then from Voldemort. Harry walks to his death because Dumbledore told him too. 

Just to be clear, I don’t think this pattern is deliberate. I think this is a side effect of JKR wanting to write Dumbledore as a nice guy, and specifically as a protector of the little guy. But Dumbledore doing that while also being so powerful creates a weird power dynamic, gives him a weird edit. It’s part of the reason people are happy to go one step farther and say that the Dursleys were mean to Harry… because Dumbledore actively wanted it that way.  I don’t think that’s true. I think Dumbledore loves his strays and if anything, the text supports the idea that he is collecting good people, because protecting them and observing them serves some psychological function for him. Dumbledore does not believe himself to be an intrinsically good person, or trustworthy when it comes to power. So, of course someone like that would be fascinated by how powerless people operate in the world, and by people like Hagrid and Lupin and Harry, who seem so intrinsically good. 

PART VI - Dumbledore and Grindelwald

“I was in love with you.” 

I honestly see “17-year-old Dumbledore was enamored with Grindelwald” as a smokescreen distracting from the actual moral grayness of the guy. He wrote some edgy letters when he was a teenager, at least partly because he thought his neighbor was hot. He thought he could move Ariana, but couldn’t - which led to the chaotic three-way duel that killed her. 

One thing I think J. K. Rowling does understand pretty well, and introduces into her books on purpose, is the concept of re-traumatization. Sirius in Book 5 is very obviously being re-traumatized by being in his childhood home and hearing the portrait of his mother screaming. It’s why he acts out, regresses, and does a number of unadvisable things. I think it’s also deliberate that Petunia’s unpleasant childhood is basically being re-created: her normal son next to her sister’s magical son. It's making her worse, or at the very least preventing her from getting better. We learn that Petunia has this sublimated interest in the magical world, and can even pull out vocab like “Azkaban” and “Dementor” when she needs to.   She wrote Dumbledore asking to go to Hogwarts, and I could see that in a universe where Petunia didn’t have to literally raise Harry, she wouldn’t be as psychotically into normalness, cleanliness, and order as she is when we meet her in the books. After all, JKR doesn’t like to write evil mothers. She will be bend over backwards so her mothers are never really framed as bad.

And I honestly think it’s possible that J. K. Rowling was playing with the concept of re-traumatiziation when she was fleshing out Dumbledore in Book 7. We learn all this backstory, that… honestly isn’t super necessary? All I’m saying is that the three-way duel at the top of the Astronomy Tower lines up really well with the three-way duel that killed Ariana. Harry is Ariana, helpless in the middle. Draco is Aberforth, well intentioned and protective of his family - but kind of useless, and kind of a liability. Severus is Grindelwald, dark and brilliant, and one of the closest relationships Dumbledore has. If this was intentional, it was probably only for reasons of narrative symmetry… but I think it's cool in a Gus Fring of Breaking Bad sort of way, that Dumbledore (either consciously or unconsciously) has been trying to re-create this one horrible moment in his life where he felt entirely out of control. But the second time it plays out… he can give it what he sees as the correct outcome. Grindelwald kills him and everyone else lives. That is how you solve the puzzle.

If you read between the lines, Dumbledore/Grindelwald is a fascinating love story. I like the detail that after Ariana’s death, Dumbledore returns to Hogwarts because it’s a place to hide and because he doesn’t feel like he can be trusted with power. I like that he sits there, refusing promotions, refusing requests to be the new Minister of Magic, refusing to go deal with the growing Grindelwald threat until he absolutely can’t hide anymore, at which point he defeats him (somehow.) I like reading his elaborate plan to break Elder Wand’s power as both a screw-you to Grindelwald, the wand’s previous master, but also as a weirdly romantic gesture. In Albus Dumbledore’s mind, there is only Grindelwald. Voldemort can’t even begin to compare. I like the detail that Grindelwald won’t give up Dumbledore, even under torture. And, Dumbledore doesn’t put him in Azkaban. He put him in this other separate prison, which always makes it seem like he’s there under Dumbledore authority specifically.  Maybe Dumbledore thinks that if he had died that day instead of Ariana…he wouldn’t have had to spend the rest of his life fighting and imprisoning the man he loves.

And then of course, Crimes of Grindelwald decided to take away Dumbledore's greatest weakness and say that no, actually he was a really good guy who never did anything wrong ever.  He went all that time without fighting Grindelwald because they made a magical friendship no-fight bracelet. Dumbledore is randomly grabbing Lupin’s iconography (his fashion sense, his lesson plans, his job) in order to feel more soft and gentle than the person the books have created. Now Dumbledore knows about the Room Requirement, even though in the books it’s a plot point that he's too much of a goody-two-shoes to have ever found it himself. He loved Grindelwald (past tense.) And Secrets of Dumbledore is mostly about him being an omniscient mastermind so that a magical deer can tell him that he was a super good and worthy guy, and any doubt that he’s ever felt about himself is just objectively wrong and incorrect. Also now Aberforth has a neglected son, so he’s reframed as a bit of a hypocrite for getting on his brother’s case for not protecting Harry. 

So to summarize, I think Dumbledore began the series as this very eccentric, unpredictable mentor, whose abilities took a hit in Books 3 and 4 in order to make the plot happen. He teetered on the edge of a ‘dark’ framing for like a second… but at the the end of the series he's written as basically infallible and godlike. I’ve heard people say that JKR’s  increased fame was the reason she added the Rita Skeeter plot line, and I don’t think that’s true. But I do think her fame may have affected the way she wrote Dumbledore. Because Dumbledore is JKR’s comment on power, and by Book 5 she had so much power. In her head, I don’t think that Dumbledore is handing off jobs in a manipulative way. She sees him as empowering other less powerful people. That is his job as someone in power (because remember - people who desire power shouldn't wield it.)

Dumbledore’s power makes him emotionally disconnected from the people in his life, it makes him disliked and distrusted by the Ministry, but it doesn’t make him wrong. That’s important. Dumbledore is never wrong. Dumbledore is always good. That’s why we get the Blood Pact that means he was never weak or procrastinating. That’s why we get the qilin saying he was a good person. It’s why we get the tragic backstory (because giving Snape a tragic backstory worked wonders when it came to rehabilitating him.) And that is why Harry names his son Albus Severus in the epilogue, to make us readers absolutely crystal clear that these two are good men. 

(art credit to @fafodill for the amazing banner.)

[airas-story]

I'm not really a "omg this is his/her/their song!" type of person, which is why I was completely thrown by surprise when I heard this song (live, too!) and suddenly thought, "Well, shit, that is Stephen and Tony." It wasn't the first time I heard the song at all, it just happened to be the live concert that brought the thought.

Hopefully the link goes through to the lyric video: https://youtu.be/ydWYlx8wexg?si=KvWdvUvpbmSxHGUb

If it does not, look up Last of the Real Ones from Fall Out Boy.

It's specifically the verses and bridge (and yeah, the therapist line lmao) that call out to me. Verse 1 sounds like Stephen to Tony, verse 2 opposite, and the bridge either/both. But that's just my thought. I'd love some sort of prose based on the whole vibe of this song. Any section, any genre, literal or figurative, it's really about the *vibes*. And I figure that might be an interesting prompt for you that also allows a lot of creative freedom. Hope you have fun!

Okay, so I really do love this song. And I swear, after you sent it in, it kept popping up. My playlist, on streaming, with my sister. You name it, it showed up. The problem... I had so many ideas, some of which were very much off the wall. Deciding was a problem. The one I ended up with wasn't quite where I expected to go with it, though. Still, I hope you enjoy.

“You know, I one time told the Avengers that the reason we fought was so one day we didn’t have to fight, so that one day we could go home.”

Stephen looked over at Tony where they sat side by side on a glass hovercraft, alongside the ocean and looking out into the city. The street lights shone down a faint red, leaving the night sky so much more visible than Stephen remembered it being when he’d first moved to New York what felt like several lifetimes ago. 

“Been a long time since either of us have had to fight,” Stephen said. And it was true. Between science and magic they’d strengthened the dimensional and atmospheric barriers keeping out those that would hurt them; with diplomacy and outreach they’d strengthened relations, both with other dimensions and alien planets; with a mix of all four the world itself had started to know something close to a Utopia. Stephen didn’t dare call anything Utopia, because everything could get better.

“Funny then, isn’t it, that we fought the fight so we could go home and…”

Stephen understood. What home did they have to go to? They were the last of the world of superheroes, a dying breed of a bygone age. The world didn’t need them anymore, not in that capacity. And it was a reason for sheer joy. 

But where did a pair of immortals go, when their duty was done?

“You know,” Stephen said. “That last alien ambassador claimed they could use a few scientists to spread our findings on resource replenishment.”

“There’s already a team in place,” Tony mused. “But I’m sure there’s room for two more. And then that one dimension—what is it, the Glish dimension?—has been hosting decade-long seminars to share knowledge. Their magic is different from yours, you can never know too much.”

“There’s more than just a whole new world,” Stephen said. “We’ve got an infinity of them.”

They’d saved their world, helped and aided, and then stepped back as the world had risen up to help itself. They weren’t meant to be saviors anymore. Stephen wasn’t sure what they were meant to be and that was fine. 

Everything ended, even, perhaps, infinity. Stephen didn’t know if that was how long he and Tony had, neither of them did, but this era of their lives had ended. Time to begin a new one.

[myfairkatiecat]

As promised, 8-verse song about strieefe!

featuring my brother at the end 😭😭

For those who don’t know the joke, Stria @the-way-astray HAAAATES Keefe Sencen. So naturally it’s a ship! And after this memories post happened, well, I had no choice!

LYRICS UNDER THE CUT

(Verse 1)

There once was a boy from a series for kids

Fan favorite, created as comic relief

But there was a girl who didn’t find him comedic

Her name was Stria, his name was Keefe

(Verse 2)

So let’s just say for this song they’re the same age

And either she’s fictional too or he’s real

And Stria for some reason is her given name

Just wait for what their story will make you feel

(Chorus)

An unlikely couple

Hatred to love

She was nothing to him

Now she’s more than enough

She thought he was toxic

Now she understands

One must always follow

What their heart commands

(Verse 3)

She wrote a whole rant about everything wrong

With how he would talk and the way that he’d act

The day they met she said she was right all along

Told him off and rolled her eyes when he said he felt “attacked”

(Verse 4)

But Keefe had this thing where he hated himself

He was going through it, that much was for sure

He thought long and hard about Stria’s words well

Decided she was right and he should thank her

(Chorus)

An unlikely couple

Hatred to friends

He was nothing to her

We’ll see how it ends

She thought he was toxic

But she’s soon to understand

One must always follow

What their heart commands

(Verse 5)

Stria couldn’t believe he would own his mistakes

But he swore he got it and promised to change

She didn’t believe it and thought it was fake

He took in stride, which Stria thought was strange

(Verse 6)

Alayda watched from the sidelines and was grinning

And Katie (that’s me, I’m Katie) took notes furiously

Alayda said, “Katie it looks like we’re winning”

But I ship him with Sophie, so I said “who’s we??”

(Chorus)

An unlikely couple

Hatred to something

He was nothing to her

Now he’s surely more than nothing

She thought he was toxic

But soon she’ll understand

One must always follow

What their heart commands

(Verse 7)

Keefe day by day proved he meant what he said

And Stria rethought the whole rant that she’d made

She said “fine okay, I guess we can be friends”

He wanted more than that and asked for a date

(Verse 8)

She said before they could be something more

She had a condition, he must be okay

With sharing her eternally with four times four

Just like the amount of letters in his name

(Chorus)

And he said yes!

An unlikely couple

Hatred to love

Just him and sixteen

Now that’s more than enough

She thought he was toxic

Now she understands

One must always follow

What their heart commands

An unlikely couple

Hatred to love

She was nothing to him

Now she’s more than enough

She thought he was toxic

Now she understands

One must always follow

What their heart commands

One must always follow

What their heart commands

*ridiculous electric guitar solo by Katie’s brother*

If you made it this far, congrats! Check out my serious kotlc songs by looking up #kotlc songs or #original music on my blog!! Or not. You could always just judge my musical abilities forever and ever by this recording of me making Stria angry, which, okay, valid.

@the-way-astray @alaydabug2 @thishumanformislimiting @worldsunlikemyown @permanently-stressed @lisalovesapplesauce @jeannefostergoriot

[loveburrowx]

Performance

Request - Y/N performs with her group and Joe is her biggest supporter

A/N - This is my first fluff story! Enjoy!

As the first note of the bass drum echoed through the cavernous arena, Y/N felt a surge of adrenaline course through her veins. She took a deep breath, steadying herself as she prepared to step out onto the center of the stage. This was it; the moment she had been training for her entire life. She was the main dancer and rapper in a group of four ladies, and tonight's performance was going to be one for the books. Little did she know, her boyfriend Joe was in the audience, about to witness the show of a lifetime.

Her heart raced as she glanced around at the sea of faces, the lights reflecting off of their eager expressions. She couldn't help but feel a sense of pride and accomplishment wash over her as she took in the enormity of the moment. The group's choreographer had outdone herself with their latest routine; it was sexy, sultry, and full of energy. Y/N knew she was going to absolutely kill it tonight.

As the first verse of their latest single began, she stepped forward, moving her body in perfect synchronization with the music. The crowd erupted into cheers, and she felt a smile tug at the corners of her lips. This was what she was born to do; this was her purpose. And as she caught a glimpse of Joe's beaming face in the crowd, she knew that he felt it too. He was the reason she danced, the reason she rapped; he was her everything.

The choreography grew more complex as the song progressed, and Y/N found herself lost in the movement, lost in the music, lost in the moment. She felt a rush of adrenaline course through her veins as she executed a series of intricate dance moves, her body glistening under the stage lights. The audience was on their feet now, shouting and screaming, their energy feeding off of hers. She could feel her heart racing, but it only seemed to make her dance better.

The solo performance was finally upon her, and she took a deep breath, stepping forward once again. The music switched to a slow, seductive beat, and she began to unleash her inner siren. Her hips swayed, her body undulated, and her movements were both fluid and powerful. Every move was for Joe, every breath was for him. She could feel his eyes on her, burning into her skin, and it only made her dance with more passion, more fire.

As the final notes of the song faded away, she stood before the crowd, her chest heaving, her heart racing. The cheers were deafening, but all she could focus on was Joe's face, his beaming smile, and the way his eyes never left hers. In that moment, she knew that she had given him everything she had, and that he was proud of her. And in that moment, she realized that no matter what happened in the future, she would always have this memory; the memory of dancing for Joe, and the feeling of his love surrounding her like a warm, protective blanket.

The rest of the concert flew by in a blur of music, lights, and movement, but for Y/N, it was as if she were still standing alone on that stage, her heart beating in time with Joe's. Even as she shared the spotlight with her fellow group members, she couldn't help but feel a sense of contentment and peace wash over her. This was where she belonged; with them, and with Joe.

The final encore came and went, and as the crowd began to file out of the arena, Y/N made her way backstage, her body aching from the exertion of the performance but her heart full to bursting with joy. She found Joe waiting for her, a huge grin on his face, and she couldn't help but laugh as she collapsed into his arms, feeling the warmth of his body and the strength of his embrace.

"I knew you were going to be amazing," he whispered into her ear, nibbling gently on her lobe. "You are incredible, you know that?"

Y/N leaned back, looking up into his eyes. "I couldn't have done it without you," she replied, her voice barely above a whisper. "You're my everything, Joe."

He smiled down at her, his eyes shining with love and admiration. "And you're mine," he said, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. "Always."

And as they stood there, wrapped in each other's arms, they knew that no matter what the future held, they would always have this moment; this memory of the night they danced together, their love burning bright on the stage.

The afterparty was a blur of music, laughter, and champagne, but for Y/N and Joe, it was a quiet oasis where they could escape the chaos and revel in their own little world. They danced together, slow and sensual, their bodies moving in perfect harmony. They ate and drank, savoring every bite and every sip, knowing that it was a celebration of not only their success, but their love.

As the night wore on, they found a quiet corner of the room and collapsed onto a plush couch. Y/N nestled herself into Joe's side, feeling the warmth of his body against her own. He ran his fingers through her hair, tugging gently on the ends as he watched her, his eyes filled with tenderness.

"I love you so much," she murmured, her voice barely audible over the music.

He smiled down at her, his expression softening. "I love you more." And even though she knew it was impossible, she felt her heart swell with happiness at the thought.

They spent the rest of the night like that, lost in each other's company, lost in the moment. As the sun began to rise, signaling the end of the party and the beginning of a new day, they knew that they had created a memory that would last a lifetime; a memory of love, of passion, of two souls intertwined forever.

Hand in hand, they made their way through the crowds of revelers, stepping out into the cool morning air. The city lay before them, still asleep but bustling with life, and for a moment, they stood there, taking it all in. Y/N leaned into Joe, her head resting on his shoulder, and she felt the warmth of his body, the beat of his heart, and she knew that she was exactly where she was supposed to be.

As they started to walk, their fingers laced together, she glanced up at him, her eyes shining with love. "Where to now, handsome?" she asked with a grin.

He smiled down at her, his gaze never leaving hers. "Well," he said, "I was thinking we could grab some breakfast, maybe take a walk along the beach...?"

She laughed, her head tilting to the side. "Sounds perfect," she replied, squeezing his hand. "Just you and me, huh?"

He nodded, a fond smile playing at the corners of his lips. "Just us," he said. "Always." And in that moment, as they walked together through the city, their future stretching out before them like a blank canvas, they knew that no matter what challenges they faced or how the world might change, they would always have each other. They would always have this love.

[pastorfutureletthembe]

Those two shots contain the most symbolism out of everything related to Yingdu Chapter.

What made me think of Liu Xiao's tarot card was the throne and the goats, surrounded with obvious religious themes. The major arcana that could represent Vein the most depends on the same principles. The positions, the colors, the symmetry and the strong symbolism lead me to believe he is the High Priestess.

Good Fortune

I will always remember this tumblr post from ten years ago saying "tag your gore please" and it was just fractured pomegranates. What's funny here is that it is just the opposite.

We actually already encountered pomegranate flowers in the Link Click's verse, along with Spiderwort (Liu Xiao's flowers):

Seven pomegranates are visible, 8 implied, on the High Priestess card. The motif reminds us of power and eternal life, blood and death in persian and greek mythology but in China, they are regarded as a good luck charm in Buddhist religious ceremonies.

The chinese conotation of this fruit echoes to the red knots Vein wears at his wrists, as it symbolizes good fortune. More specifically, he's wearing the round brocade knot, also known as the six-flower knot, featureing a full, rounded shape with a cluster of flowers, representing reunion, unity, and a bright future with endless possibilities.

[Edit: BAHATI is also a word related to good fortune in Swahili. It refers to a positive outcome and serendipitous events in one's life.]

Vein chairs the table with 8 goons. Which is one more symmetry since it's regarded as the luckiest number in china: the number 8 being pronounced as “ba” in Mandarin, which sounds similar to the word for wealth or prosperity, “发” (fa). More generally, 8 is a recurring number in Link Click, one I believe reveals the number of people with special abilities in the show. The reason I came to this conclusion is this table, covered with wine glasses and candles:

8 of heart, two cakes with 8parts visible each, 8 wine glasses and the content of our of them spilled on Lu Guang.

8 visible chairs, 8 candles

8 glasses

The last artwork also paints the eternal fight between darkness and light, heaven and hell, under the overwhelming blood moon light (sidenote, the blood moon happens around Qiao Ling's birthday).

The hints of death and tragedy, and perhaps betrayal, are so obvious on this table that it is impossible not to make it meaningful. The importance of symmetry is a nudge to the balanced aesthetic of this specific tarot card as well.

Cognitive Dissonance

Overall, the High Priestess is a good omen in tarot reading. She appears as someone holding wisdom and showing mentorship but refusing to state the obvious. To her, not knowing means you shouldn't... yet. Because of this, she might represent much needed boundaries: accepting confusion and uncertainty and do not seek knowledge that you shouldn't know.

With access to higher and secret knowledge through her inner self, she connects to God and can be seen as a mediator. If there is an ultimate truth, it cannot be voiced, only discovered: we can fill out the blank by paying attention to non-obvious cues, collect and connect it, and draw out the missing pieces.

This inner guidance, it mostly appears when there is an important lack of balance in own's life, and making sense of a situation turns out to be difficult. Often, pain is greatly intellectualized in order to be subdued. We are overwhelmed and lost, and we think we need guidance when, in reality, we already know what to do. The most obvious course of action is just something we don't want to do or are not ready to do yet.

At worst, this card reveals a cognitive dissonance. Cognitive dissonance is the mental stress people experienced when exposed to information that is inconsistent with their beliefs, ideals or values. There are four theoretic paradigms: belief disconfirmation (rejection and refutation), induced compliance (manipulation and self-justification), free choice (structuring of decisions and importance of fairness), and effort justification (exaggerating the important of a goal to justify the effort in the process to achieve it). Each paradigm respectively explains what happens after a person acts inconsistently, relative to their intellectual perspectives; what happens after a person makes decisions and what are the effects upon a person who has expended much effort to achieve a goal.

Basically, the High Priestess advices to shut off our brain for a moment and listen to our intuition. And looking for a guide? You are your own guidance. You are powerful and will bend to no one. She isn't at your disposal to pat your head, she'll let you learn by experience instead of telling you what you want to hear. Knowlegde is at the door, you made it grow in your garden and if you haven't, you should have and now is a perfect time to start. She's sassy and frustrating.

What does this says about Vein? First, he is his own leader, has a mind of his own and he shaped himself, body and soul, with his own set of rules. And because of that, he will absolulety wins. He knows what needs to be known and isn't afraid to face whatever truth he'll find. Perhaps not knowing is exciting and the chase is elating to him. Or maybe he's obsessed with omniscience. Either way, knowledge is power to him. He can appear as a beast, driven by instincts more than wits. He suffers from no delusion and doesn't overthink. Everything is pretty simple when you take whatever life throw at you as it is. In that regard, true to himself and his nature, he is godlike, mortal morals and laws can't reach him. Anyone who would lie to themselves would probably appear as weak to him.

This card also speaks of endless cycles. Normally, it is a reassurance. What is happening, good or bad, will end at some point. And start again. Pain and happiness will always be part of life, hand in hand. Everything works in pairs for perfect balance. Shadows within can teach just as much as the light within a soul. Being powerful is not about being strong, it's about knowledge and understanding of how we and the world work as a whole. It is mutual respect.

Here, it strongly implies misuse of power, the inevitability of Death and infinite cycles. It calls Fate as ultimate natural force. It could be that making the same choice over and over again is putting Lu Guang in a confused state. Since this tarot card represents duality, the first rule in the Link Click'verse could be to respect the fragile balance between good and evil and leave the past untouched. Light calls darkness though, Lu Guang and Cheng Xiaoshi having this kind of powers might mean the universe needs an evil counterpart. But it might as well place Vein as a mediator between the mortal world and the Underworld. He is painted as a messenger of Hell. He can seem demonic in some ways and is obviously assertive. between melted faces and desperate hands, we see the world he's ruling over.

Queen of the Underground

The High Priestess herself is a copy of mythical feminine figures related to the Underworld, such as Persephone and Isis. As a quick reminder:

Death, Rebirth, Marriage, Devotion, Betrayal. Themes common to Link Click. These two figures hold important clues.

Persephone

Because of Persephone’s unique relationship with darkness, she symbolizes spirituality and the integration of light and dark. She stands at the crossroads of two worlds, faced her shadows during winter despite her frail nature, only to bloom upon the world again in the everlasting cycle of life.

The cycle of life and spring reminds me of myosotis and daisies. Adaptable, with the memory of better times to move forward. But I also reflect on the black dahlia, Vein's flower. While a regular dahlia reveals a creative spirit, black ones mean sadness, betrayal, mourning and darkness. This flower has a particular way to react to winter as well: unable to tolerate the frost, its leaves turn black. What is reassuring is the fact myosotis and daisies are resilient plants and are able to survive cold! Don't lose hope just yet ;)

As the personification of duality, Persephone is the Maiden of Spring, innocent and joyful, just as much as the Queen of the Underground, powerful and vengeful at times. Her story reflects on themes of power and control too, as it shows that it isn't possible to go against our nature nor our desires, compromises is the only answer if we want steady relationships.

I feel like the promise of mentorship in the card itself is obvious. I don't know much about chinese mafia, but if we take the example of yakuza for instance, newbies would join and do stuff like gardening before they could be trusted with more responsabilities. They are promised protection and strength and don't get any salary. This wouldn't be possible without a great deal of adaptability, acceptance and perseverance. Going through hardship and have our independance taken away only makes us the most dangerous once we gain the power we were yearning for.

Marriage, as a commitment, is literally consumed when she eats pomegranate's seeds offered by Hades. This dinner is the wedding ceremony and her eating pomegranate's seeds is a metaphor that could also be linked to christianity.

The pomegranate’s seeds are said to represent the many teachings and practices of Buddhism, which lead to spiritual growth and enlightenment. Pomegranate were introduced by chinese traders in europe and were originally called chinese apple, due to its round shape. Coincidentally, apple, while representing the cyclical nature of existence and the interconnectedness of all things, is also the common fruit symbolizing the original sin which brought knowledge to humankind.

Tasting the apple and getting knowledge was a blessing and a curse: by getting a new power, humans lost divine protection and were chased out of Eden for their hubris.

Some would say Persephone still ate it willingly, others say her husband tricked her. Love truly grew out of it as they were never unfaithful, forever loyal to one another. They also were equals.

That being said, Persephone cannot divulge the secrets of the Underworld when she gets back to the other side. That does connect to the idea that the answer you are seeking isn’t for you to know.

Consumption is the first thing we notice in Vein's PV. We're shown meat (with implied cannibalism), but the narrative motif is the same: once you eat at the Underworld's ruler's table, you are as good as dead, your fate is sealed and you belong to him. You are trapped. Making the choice to feast at his table shows strength of character and determination to prove yourself. Probably with the delusion of getting protection and some sort of prestige out of it. At the center of the table, 5 pieces of meat are disposed, as the assumed five timelines Lu Guang is going through. Every man around the table looks the same, implying that Lu Guang, or Xia Fei, are just one among others who fell prey to Vein. Now, I don't want to alarm you, but there have been at least two instances of Cheng Xiaoshi either sitting and putting his feet on a table near cakes, so he should probably sleep with only one eye open...

Talking about consuming, allow me to digress and tell you about the Venus Flytrap.

According to the father of evolutionary science Charles Darwin, it is “one of the most wonderful plants in the world”. The most obvious reason is that this plant is a carnivore, and it truly is a wonder that survival and adaptation forced it to evolve in such a way.

That this plant is named botanically for the mother of Venus and that the common name is goddess of love. Love, turned into an unhealthy obession and possessive desire, is something akin to hunger. I would go as far as to say that the act of eating is a form of control, on ourselves or others. Additionally, a venus flytrap is a symbol of trust, control and boundaries in dreams. All of this reflects perfectly the myth of Persephone.

This text which is a very interesting take:

"The Venus Fly Trap, a unique carnivorous plant, epitomizes the spiritual principle of balance between giving and taking. It gives to the ecosystem by consuming insects, thereby maintaining ecological balance. In return, they take necessary nutrients from their prey to survive in nutrient-poor soil, representing the cycle of life and death. A potent reminder of the importance of strategy and cunning in overcoming life’s challenges."

Again, themes of balance and cycle of life and death.

Isis-Hathor

Here is the story between Isis, Osiris and Seth:

Isis is believed to have great power, Osiris is the god of the dead and Seth is considered the evil sibling, agent of chaos. Seth tricked his brother to go inside a wooden bow, closed the lid and throw the whole thing in the Nil. Isis found her husband Osiris and brought him back to life. Seth killed him again and cut him to pieces. She found each piece but one, his penis which got eaten by a fish. She put him back together.

Once again, we have this idea of tricking someone and the repetition of life and death in a more literal sense. Of course, once again, the character got changed forever.

Depending on who you ask, one of Isis' names is Hathor, who looks a lot like our High Priestess wearing her two horned crown with the moon in between. In Egyptian Mythology, the sun and moon were the right and left eyes of God. 

While the Moon protects the High Priestess, Hathor is one of the gods related to Jupiter. Jupiter is known as the “king of the planets” and is associated with expansion, abundance, power and wealth. In astrology, Jupiter is a giver, and is tied to good fortune.

However, Zeus, Thor and Hathor, realted to Jupiter, all rules over the sky. On the tarot card, we can glimpse the ocean and the SKY, beyond the veil with pomegranates on it. The scroll in the High Priestess hands bears the letters TORA ("divine law"). It symbolizes the memory we carry inside about the past, present and future.

Hathor is known for crossing boundaries between worlds to help deceased souls in the transition to the afterlife.

Trial

Diving deeper into Egyptian beliefs on life and death, we obviously have to mention judgment and punishment. Which, brings me to these alternative: there are other possibilities for Vein's tarot card:

As its name implies, Judgement is a card of final judgement, as well as divine revelation. It’s the reward or punishment after living a spiritually aligned life. There are echoes of this card in Death, for they both remind us that everything comes to an end and that a new beginning is coming. This card is ruled by Pluto, who is the Underworld’s ruler.

Death is one of Cheng Xiaoshi's cards (I'll explain in Cheng Xiaoshi's Deck meta), and Vein and Cheng Xiaoshi's chess pieces are both Rocks (which take shape of a tower, coincidence?). What is interesting about the Vein/Cheng Xiaoshi pair in this perspective is that Waite gave the Fool the number 0, but in his book he discussed the Fool between Judgement (XX), and the World (XXI). Basically, it would mean Cheng Xiaoshi stands between Vein and the World haha. Isn't it a cool take?

The Judgement card reminds us that we all will be faced with choices that will have an astounding effect for your entire life. It brings to mind moments where actions have changed the course of one's path for good. No going back. And the consequences of those actions eventually will catch up. It's time to let go of the past in order to move forward and build a new life. Mistakes were made in the past. Use the learned lessons to make changes for the future.

I think this would mean more about Lu Guang than Vein himself, though. It's still interesting because it might reveal Vein's role in Lu guang's life. He's a trigger.

Back to mythology: after his second rebirth, Osiris could no longer rule Egypt and withdrew to rule the afterlife, becoming the lord and judge of the dead. Going through the test of the squales successfully, if the scales were balanced, the deceased had passed the test and was taken before Osiris who welcomed them into the afterlife. There, they would know eternal life. Through the hope of new life after death, Osiris began to be associated with the cycles in nature an rebirth. Meanwhile the damned would know destruction, as of in a state of not being.

This part is relevant to Vein. Not only the judge aspect, but the idea of enlightment making one man more legit to guide others sounds relevant to Vein. This concept, it can be found in the Wheel of Fortune as well. Before I go further on this path, let me theorize that Vein could have been victim or beneficiant of a paradox. Being saved by Fate itself could go to anyone's head, and it would explain why he seems to have to little regards for human life in general, and autoproclaims himself to be above the rest, King of the "undead". The meat imagery, cannibalism implied or not, is also related to the undead. Zombie, for example, is a term from Haitian folklore. It is an undead corporeal revenant created through the reanimation of a corpse. Unlike Persephone who consumed food from the underworld and turned into a Queen, Osiris was betrayed by his own brother, brought back to life at least twice, and got bannished into the afterlife as a secretary welcoming people in the afterlife. I guess it would make anyone kind of paranoid and angry?

ENLIGHTMENT

The character of Vein is coded with chinese traditions; Buddhist culture to be more specific. First, the red knot to attract good fortune, then his beliefs. @rainibao found the second clue by noticing the banner quoting Buddha's famous first words: "Throughout Heaven and Earth, I Alone Am The Honored One". It would refer to Buddha’s represe­ntation as embodying both human and divine qualitie­s.

The phrase­ finds its roots in the Lotus Sutra, a prominent Buddhist text. As the story goes, immediately after birth Buddha took seven steps in each of the four directions and proclaimed, “In heaven above and on earth below, I am the most honored one. I shall dispel the suffering that fills the world.”

Any character quoting this part commands respect, awe and admiration. The character must be widely regarded as the most powerful, and said exce­ptional power and knowledge distinguish him from others.

I'll address the PIGS, now. Bear with me on this one haha:

In Christianity a pig is associated with violence, cruelty, lust and gluttony. In Buddhist illustrations though, it is at the center of the Samsara Wheel, symbolizing sins of the flesh and passion, yes, but also ignorance.

To understand what it is about, I've got the pleasure to poke at the Samsara Wheel. Allow me to sum it up for you:

According to Buddhist belief, the true nature of existence is expressed in the Wheel of Life. It shows the interconnectedness of all things, how a deluded state of mind imprisons us within the circle of sufferings. And as long as we are not enlightened, we remain imprisoned by the sufferings within this circle. The Four Noble Truths describe the truth of the universe and the nature of reality. The Second Noble Truth is known as samudaya. The word "samudaya" means "arising" and refers to the roots of suffering. It describes the cause of pain. Humans suffer because of cravings, which can be translated as "thirst". Craving keeps humans attached to existence. It means humans are reincarnated again and again, or "arise" again and again. The basic causes of suffering are known as the Three Poisons, or delusions. These are often represented as a rooster (greed), a pig (ignorance) and a snake (hatred). All suffering is ultimately caused by these human urges.

Ignorance refers to feelings of delusion, confusion, and dullness. It is represented by a pig. This poison is rooted in the delusion of believing we are separate, leading us to prioritize our own pleasure over the suffering of others, ignoring everyone's reality but our own. We will continue to suffer and cause suffering when we don’t see our interconnected reality. This can be experienced as an inability to see the truth or reality of ourselves or the world around us.

Vein is basically the head of a group of pigs, ignorant humans still falling victims of their basic desires. And he probably feels like he has to guide them in the afterlife, as kings and gods. Because he has seen the truth, you know? The problem is that he probably refuse to see that he isn't more powerful than Fate.

Among the tarot cards, the Wheel of Fortune turns evermore, seemingly to communicate that life is made up of both good and bad times, and that the cycle is one that we cannot control. No one should cling to the illusion of control. Perhaps in this turn of the wheel, the lesson is to learn to let go and release. There are things that cannot be moved by human will and action alone. When we do not let go, it can bring only more suffering. There are times, that no matter how much we try, the world will not bend to one’s will.

Once again, this could be associated to Lu Guang's narrative, but it is possible that Vein impersonates this and became the armed hand of Fate itself, keeping our main character to disturb the well oiled machinery of Time.

At the center of the card, lies a giant wheel, covered in esoteric symbols. There are different creatures that surround the wheel. The books that each of the creatures hold represents the Torah which communicates wisdom and self-understanding. The snake indicates the act of descending into material world. On the wheel itself, rides a sphinx that sits at the top, and what appears to be either a devil, or Anubis himself arising at the bottom. These two Egyptian figures are representative of the wisdom of the gods and kings (Sphinx) and the underworld (Anubis). They are rotating forever, in a cycle, and suggests that as one comes up, the other goes down.

CONCLUSION

My money is still on the High Priestress because of the visual and symbolism, but I thought it would be interesting to go deeper and dig into some more spiritual connections. Vein is pictured as the main antagonist in "Burning Palace" but Liu Xiao got more time under the spotline and seems at the center of the plot. The official content seems to introduce Vein as the trigger of it all but he is not the real obstacle nor the solution to Lu Guang's narrative. That's my opinon for now. As a secondary character, I think an arcane as powerful as Judgement or Wheel of Fortune might be too much.

Whatever happens, remember this was written out of pure curiosity and for fun. I spent hours on this but I'm not really attached to my theories. My point is that Link Click is a show which is done with love and care. And fucking brain lmao. I hope you had fun reading this meta.

[Edit: I posted this three weeks ago by mistake, it was a mere draft at the time. Hopefully those who read the first version will take a look at the complete post and find sense (absent of my previous nonsense lmao.)]

[dark-lord-of-awesomeness]

(Caution, a bit of a sad thought)

What if… In the fantasy world, everything is fine. The children are no longer children, but adults who happily visit Stan and Ford.

But at some point, something happens to Stan and Ford. The hair, previously almost matching each other, becomes brown on one of them. Stan has better eyesight, so his glasses do not fit him, or he almost never wears them… and, MOMENT, it turns into two small figures of ten (or maybe even younger) years old.

Stan began to lose his memories. Whether he has Alzheimer's , dementia or something else, but… he can no longer be the same, and therefore Ford, who corresponds to him, has also changed. (Or not, because the fantasies of others were able to keep him at an older age. Drama, another terrifying drama, how I love it).

Dipper and Mabel try, try very hard to make Stan happy, which is incredibly difficult in the face of his living fantasies, because he has no more mental boundaries. They want to see him healthy, without old man problems with breathing, back and other troubles that accompanied him in recent days.

And nothing can be done.

At all, because everything comes to an end. And Stan, contrary to common desires, is not eternal.

Therefore, in the end … He remains in a familiar clearing being him, an old man, meeting death. (as an old friend, an enemy, stepping into an adventure to which Ford, no matter how much he wanted, does not have access). And, as an idea, the embodiment of his worst fantasies, possibilities, oddities, cruelty. Which he erased with his brother. Which Stan hated, shaking a dark hand, engulfed in blue flame. Bill, who accompanies him on his last journey.

(For some reason I like the idea that one of his exciting and frightening creations could accompany him to the other world)

And, as an idea, Stanley remains. Little, ready to take Ford, when he is ready, on a voyage around the world. He is not Stan, a part of him, but not the man who created him…

Which is also sad, in a way.

And nothing remains the same.

It took me a few reads to get this, as Fantasy Land is what i call Princess Stan verse, but then i was made super sad.

Because Stan's not really a god, he's a human man, and he's going to pass away one day, naturally or not, and his creations wont be able to follow him.

Except Bill, who's existence he tied together with his own.

And one day the rest of Stan's creations will fade too, as the dimension stabilized and they became more real, more subject to the rules of the dominant dimension. And Stan might never be with Ford here, but Ford still has Stanley, young and waiting to go on their own adventure. Maybe back to a different version of Stanland, where there is no god to write their stories for them. Maybe someday they meet another pair of young twins, whose own real counterparts went somewhere they couldn't follow, and the four of them have their own fun.

And none of them will ever meet Stan again, or Bill. Bill and Stan are off, maybe in an afterlife, maybe reincarnated, maybe maybe maybe. Who knows?

Nothing stays the same, everything changes, and sometimes thats good, sometimes thats bad, but most of the time its just different.

[stabbyfoxandrew]

hii aerie!! how are you? i'm treating myself to some gummy bears in your honor and sending you chocolates in my heart :D

i am incredibly intrigued by andrew's recently-acquired umbrella, but also by the upcoming conversation with kevjerejean, so can i request my usual dealer's choice between Angel Neil, Mafia Front, and Arsonist Neil? i just love all of these aus, i can't chooseeee

i hope you have a great day too!! <33

WIP Wednesday (2/12) | Arsonist Neil / Firefighter Andrew AU (Part 280)

"Well, Kevin and I are well versed in that if you'd like to try it," Jean says. His tone is somewhere between serious and playful, but Jeremy's expression twists into a sad one. "What? I've never been the waterboard-er before."

"You're not missing out on much," Kevin says. Then Jeremy coos at him. He's like some sort of therapy dog or something. But he's not sure which of his boyfriends he needs to comfort so his head is on a swivel, looking back and forth between them.

Andrew looks down into his soup to get away from Jeremy's dilemma. It really is his favorite, a tragedy since Jean makes it so infrequently. It doesn't look that special. It has ham and beans and... assorted vegetables. Andrew doesn't even know what it's called. Maybe Jean made it up. Andrew really should get the recipe from him, so he can have another night of narrating his attempts at cooking to 10. Oh. They could video chat about it and everything. Andrew would never deign to ask for the recipe. Though he might snoop around and steal it or something.

"Fine," Jean sighs. "You're right. No torture in the apartment. But that means you won't get the man's name."

Kevin laughs. "It's okay."

"What about a photo?" Jeremy foolishly asks.

"I don't have any."

"Liar." Kevin says after staring Andrew down for a good twenty seconds. "Why don't you want us to know anything about him?"

"Is he hideous? Is that it? You're embarrassed of him?" Jean asks, seemingly delighted.

"He's not ugly." Andrew grits out. It would be a crime against humanity for anyone to think Neil was.

"Then why won't you show us a picture?" Kevin asks, slanting a look at him. Andrew glares at the bastard. Kevin has always liked poking his nose into Andrew's personal life, even when he didn't have one.

What's worse is Kevin feels he has some sort of claim on Andrew since he let Kevin follow him around PSU for years. Or maybe it was the handful of kisses they shared during his final semester. If Kevin had his way, Andrew would likely be tucked into some corner of this apartment. Like an umbrella or something.

"Because he's not your business."

"Yet." Kevin tacks onto that. "He will be."

"Whatever you say." Andrew says, then the four of them sort of come to a silent agreement to shut up and eat before the food is cold. Andrew pulls off small bits of bread and dunks them in the broth. He has an urge to pluck out every ingredient and eat them all separately. But that is not how soup is done. He's the last one done and as soon as he puts his spoon down, Kevin starts again.

"He's a fan of mine, right? What if you brought him over for a meet and greet?"

"You are nothing if not consistent. That is never happening. I think he would faint if he were in the same room as three pro stick ball players."

"Wait, is that what the photograph was for?" Jean asks, incredulously. Kevin nods and that makes Jeremy laugh.

"You gave him a picture of Kevin?"

"Signed and everything," Kevin says, smug for some reason.

"I needed a gift, Kevin pictures are free. For me." Andrew shrugs.

"Ooh, Andrew. I have an idea." Jeremy says. Between his serious tone and the joyous expression on his face, Andrew is rightly terrified. Knowing Jeremy, it could be anything from a diamond heist to a foursome. Luckily, it is nothing quite so scandalous. Though it does require some awkward positioning.

[traintrainingmontage]

WELP, I did a whole writing prompt about Stepney and Rusty recently (with a special appearance from the former's soon-to-be boyfriend Rheneas), so here's the ship chart! The RWS is my favorite canon out of the TTTE-verse, so a lot of my ships are based on that, but ofc, that's just personal preference, and whichever canon is your favorite is the best one.

Template by @togetherness23~~

Shipaganda below!

Stepney was purchased and preserved by the Bluebell Railway in 1960, and visited Sodor in 1962. This is only a year after Rheneas comes back from the works, and I would absolutely believe that both of them are struggling to adjust to their new lives. Stepney mentions in his book that although he likes the other engines on the Bluebell a lot, he also misses his work with trucks and that he never gets any good runs on the Bluebell. It's also a totally different line than he's used to, with new people and a new atmosphere. There's a sense of gratitude, but also melancholy at what he's lost.

Rheneas, meanwhile, is also undergoing a lot of personal changes. His overhaul lasted for 9 YEARS, and in that time, his line may as well be totally new. For almost a century, he was used to it just being himself, his brother, and their five coaches. Now, he has four new, young engines to contend with, two of whom are darlings and the other two are hot-headed imps, as well as five new coaches to acquaint himself with. Even though Rheneas is a professional at taking things in stride, this is a lot of change all at once, and he's not quite sure how he fits into this new dynamic.

Stepney is assigned to Thomas' branch line. In typical Thomas fashion, he feels put off by Stepney at first, but Stepney easily sidesteps any drama by giving Thomas a little praise and smooths things over quite easily. He clearly enjoys working the line, and his easy-going nature makes him a favorite with anyone he meets. However, given the fanfare by which he was welcomed to the island, he likely makes a good impression among the various engines, but with the exception of Edward, doesn't feel that he can be terribly close with them due to the level of hero worship from some and disinterest/distance from others.

Rheneas, for his part, is struggling with establishing relationships with the newer engines and coaches. Skarloey, social butterfly that he is, easily took to being the new arrivals' mentor and big brother figure, but Rheneas isn't quite sure how he fits into all of this. He's no longer supporting the entire railway by himself, which is naturally a huge relief, but it also means that some days, he wonders if he's still as Useful of an engine as he's always been. He doesn't mind any of the new arrivals, but now everything feels... crowded, in a way that he's not quite used to.

One day, Stepney goes to Crovan's Gate for routine maintenance—nothing serious, just to make sure all's well—and he and Rheneas happen to get to talking, as they recognize each other thanks to being featured on various television and radio programs. As they talk, however, they soon realize just how much they have in common between them. Both of them feel somewhat out of place in their homes, just trying to figure things out. Both of them are old engines who had to work through the World Wars and everything that followed, and both of them are happy to be where they are, but would be lying if they said they didn't miss the old days. Both of them are surrounded by new engines that they have to get used to, and they're still trying to navigate those new bonds and relationships without feeling totally overwhelmed.

As such, Stepney requests to be put up at Crovan's Gate. It's a bit of an odd request, but he says that he enjoys meeting all of the various engines of Sodor, and Sir Topham Hatt has no reason to refuse (the standard gauge sheds over at Crovan's Gate are also far less crowded). Thus, Stepney is put up over there, and he and Rheneas spend weeks and months talking long into the night about their hopes, their dreams, their lives, and their fears, and find a deep kinship with each other that they've both come to realize that they've hungered for.

And then, it's so easy to go beyond that, to find comfort in each other beyond just their parallel histories. It's the fact that their personalities compliment each other so well, that Stepney's easy nature brings out Rheneas' smile and Rheneas' sarcasm belies a fierce wit and a clever mind that Stepney can't help but appreciate. Over the course of the months that they enjoy in each other's company, they're drawn together almost magnetically, comfort and companion both, that seems almost uncharacteristic for such level-headed engines, but nobody can deny the depth and strength of their bond.

However, it's inevitable that their wonderful time together must come to an end. Stepney has to leave and go back to his new home, and outside of Sodor, there are very few rails upon which Rheneas can travel. As the date of departure draws near, the two try to spend as much time together as they can. Their Controllers notice, of course, but there's nothing that they can do; they cannot make empty promises, and the two engines are being discrete, so they avert their eyes and agree that should they desire to become pen pals, they will happily facilitate that.

Thus, after Stepney double-heads the Express with Duck and leaves Sodor to great fanfare, he's given a short stop at Crovan's Gate. Nobody knows what words were exchanged between Rheneas and Stepney, as they were given their privacy, but all that IS known is that the two did in fact become pen pals, with only their drivers allowed to read and pen their letters on their behalf. What those letters say is entirely between the two of them, their drivers, and the Lady herself.

(Official Media: "[Stepney] thoroughly enjoyed his stay on the Island, during which time he worked on Thomas's branch line, and one gets the feeling that it was only the thought of his responsibilities at Sheffield Park that finally dragged him back home.")

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

In the past, I’ve spoken AT LENGTH about Hobie Brown’s dialogue lines, and it’s because I think every single one of them are interesting on their own level - each telling us more and more about his character.

I’ve almost gone through them all - ALMOST. But if there’s one line that I find to be super interesting - and super misunderstood - it’s this one.

What does Hobie mean by - “Eh, What of it?”

It’s one of his shortest lines, but I think those four little words can tell us a lot about Hobie, not because of what he said - by WHY he said it.

Often when people reference this line, they say that this shows that Hobie is unaffected or apathetic to canon events - either as a whole, or his own. We usually assume that this is some insight into his background in some way.

But I think this might be something else. Would you believe that this line was him looking out for Miles?

It’s been a while, but hear me out on this. So the question I’m answering today is - ‘Why does Hobie say this? And what exactly is he trying to tell Miles?’

[A SHORT-ish essay where I break down one of my favorite of Hobie's lines. Because I miss writing essays lol]

---------------------------------------------------------

Now, I know we all know the context of this scene - we’ve probably seen it dozens of times now - but I just want to reiterate why we’re here in this moment and what’s happening, just so we can begin to get inside Hobie’s head.

The scene takes place shortly after Miles meets Miguel, and in order to explain, Miguel gives Miles a seemingly rehearsed speech starting with ‘This is Everything.’ The ‘Everything’ speech is a basic introduction to the Spider-verse, to canon events and how they bind all Spider-people together.

At this point in time, Miles has not mentioned his father or his incoming canon event. And Miguel has made no indication that he plans to tell Miles that he’s an anomaly - there’s no reason to, so long as Miles plays along.

So from what we can tell, this speech is something every Spider-person gets.

But what exactly is Miguel trying to do?

I think it’s safe to say that The Spider Society is a cult of personality in many aspects - but not towards Miguel - but towards Spider-man as an entity or, more accurately, an identity.

And in this moment, he’s trying to portray the personal tragedies of Spider-people as a part of a bigger narrative. Miguel is showing recruits that their trauma is not just an individual scar, but a collective one shared for the greater good.

Sounds cultish? Well, because it is. There are many ways you can explain this, but I think Psychology Today’s article ‘Understanding Cults’ says it best.

What does that have to do with Miles?

Miguel is showing Miles his trauma along side all others as a way of ‘creating’ or solidifying his new identity as Spider-man, in order to suppress his own identity as Miles Morales. In order for Miles to submit to canon events for the ‘greater good’, he must choose his identity as Spider-man over his individual identity of Miles Morales.

He shows Miles’ his own canon event, beside dozens of other Spider-people facing the same trauma, in order for Miles to feel included, apart of something bigger than himself. This, of course, is a common tactic of real life cults - the prevailing idea that the victim is apart of a larger, inescapable - often religious - narrative within the universe.

In this moment, Miguel is trying to thread Miles into the fabric of the Spider-verse, in hopes that in doing so - Miles will be more inclined to submit to the tragedy of canon events.

In short, he wants Miles to feel guilty and sorry for those around him.

And it’s working.

Let’s look at the sequence of events in this moment. Miguel introduces Miles to ASM-90, the Death of George Stacy. As soon as he hears the words ‘Captain Stacy’ - Miles looks to Gwen. We can see the concern on his face, and the somberness on Gwen's. Already he is starting to feel the weight of the others’ emotional reactions.

Next, he looks to his most trusted person - Peter B.

Already, Peter B. is facing away, clutching Mayday to his chest. We don’t just get a shot of Peter B’s back - but we also get a shot over Peter’s shoulder. And we see Miles, and his growing worry. This shot signifies, to me, that this moment isn’t just about the canon events of each character - but Miles’ emotional reaction to it.

Miguel’s tactic of guilt-tripping his working. Because look who speaks next.

Miles says to Peter B. - “That happened to you?” - But it’s not Peter who responds. It’s Jess. Undoubtedly, Miguel’s biggest ally in the room. Jess says to Miles -

“And me.”

Jess works for Miguel. And in that moment, it seems like she’s trying to drive home the point that this whole presentation is about. I mean, think about it.

If we are to believe that this speech is a routine one, given to new Spider-recruits to tell them about the existence of canon events, then Jess saying this ALSO isn't unique to Miles. Her saying this, her reiterating Miguel's underlying point in all this -

‘We’ve all faced your trauma - we’re all like you.’

In this moment, we don’t ever SEE a shot of Jess’s canon event - because that’s not the point. We see Miles’ reaction, because that’s what this is truly about. Miles’ feelings, his emotional connection to these people, in order to manipulate him into empathy - and conformity.

But then we get to Hobie.

“Eh, What of it?”

As always, Hobie stands out of the crowd. 

He’s always the one to think differently and to choose his words carefully. And we know for a fact, he’s always on Miles’ side.

When we watch this moment, many people assume it’s some insight to his background. That maybe Hobie was responsible for his own canon event, or have grown apathetic to the idea as a whole. And while those are interesting theories - I think the answer is much simpler.

Hobie isn’t saying “What of it - what happened to me isn’t a big deal.”

He’s saying - “What of it? What does any of this have to do with YOU?”

Think about it, most times we say ‘What of it’, it’s meant to mean ‘what relevance does that information have?’ or even ‘why does it matter?’

Let’s look at an example. Let's say someone eats your friend’s powdered donuts, and your friend questions the group, looking for the culprit. Someone might say ‘X, your favorite food is powdered donuts!’ X might say ‘Yeah, and what of it?’ - as in ‘Yeah, but what does that have to do with anything?’, as a way to show that the information being mentioned is true, but also doesn’t affect the situation.

And that’s exactly what I think Hobie is saying.

Hobie isn’t downplaying his own trauma but saying ‘What of it?’, he’s telling Miles - “Okay, but what does all of this have to do with anything?”

What does their canon events have to do with Miles, and his feelings? Why should Miles have to take on their trauma and their pain, when he just got there? 

Hobie knows that Miles followed Gwen, and that him and Gwen care about each other deeply. Upon their reunion, Hobie can see that Miles looks up to Peter - he knows that seeing them in emotional pain hurts Miles too.

And Miguel knows this as well. Miguel probably knows that the best way to convince Miles is through Peter, and Gwen.

But that shouldn’t matter. Miles shouldn’t have to relive their tragedies in his own life just because they went through it. He shouldn’t feel guilty for trying to be different or choosing his identity over the mold Miguel is presenting him.

Sure, Hobie might’ve been hurt in the past. He might still be hurting - but this isn’t about him, it isn’t about any of them.

It’s about Miles, so what does his pain have to do with it? Why should Miguel get to bring up their trauma, and make them rewatch it, for the sake of pulling Miles’ heartstrings?

Why should Miguel get to weaponize their canon events for his agenda of getting Miles to conform? What they’ve been through has nothing to do with it. And Hobie knows this.

So literally, ‘What of it?’

In this moment, Hobie isn’t focused on himself - he’s focused on Miles. So when he says ‘What of it?’ this isn’t a comment on his past experiences, it’s a comment on Miles’ current predicament.

‘Yes, that happened to me, but what does this have to do with you, Miles?’

This interpretation follows the characterization we've seen of Hobie this far.

All of his words to Miles are chosen carefully, all of his words are there to back Miles up - and support him in some way. It’s all Hobie’s thinking about.

And we can see it in Hobie’s face.

Back to the scene. Jess says “And me.”

For a second, Miles’ eyes lingers on her. But after a moment, his eyes goes to Hobie. Hobie, the guy Miles has already decided is cooler, more level headed, a friend of Gwen. Already in this moment, Miles it looking to Hobie’s reaction because he no longer sees Hobie as a threat. In this moment, he’s looking to Hobie for support.

But look at Hobie’s face.

For a moment, he looks visibly somber. For a split second, we’re shown the emotion on Hobie’s face, he’s looking down, lost in thought. [I'm screaming iAHHH i want to know what happened to him SO BADLY he looks so sad :((( I'm gonna cry but also I'm editing this drunk so I'm extra emotional :((( Sad Hobie :((((]

And then he realizes that Miles is looking at him.

But why would the animators show us that, if he truly didn’t care about his canon events? What would be the purpose of this shot?

I believe this split second shows that maybe, just maybe, Hobie does have scars from his canon events, ones he still thinks about, ones that still illicit and emotional response from him.

But when Miles looks at him, immediately, his expression changes.

He tucks away his feelings and returns his attention to Miles. He chooses to set aside his aside his trauma, to play it off and hide it away, because he knows that if he doesn't - Miles will internalize that pain, and that guilt.

In that moment, Hobie can tell that Miles is looking to him for some reason. And that reason is support.

In that one moment, Hobie takes the chance to push his own trauma aside - to be the voice of reason for Miles. The voice to tell Miles that ‘whatever happened to us, has nothing to do with you’.

By saying "Eh, What of it?"

These four words, often thought to be Hobie playing it cool, could be so much more.

It could be one more push to Miles to choose his own path - and it echos back to Hobie’s first monologue to Miles:

In this moment, Hobie chooses to remind Miles, that this isn't about them, or what any of them have been through.

It's about him, and his independence. Hobie is imploring Miles to reject Miguel's narrative - to reject the collective identity of Spider-man.

Because to Hobie, that's what being Spider-man means. Independence, and individuality. He doesn't want Miles to carry his burden, or anyone elses.

And I think this line is the perfect example of that, it shows the depth of Hobie's dedication to Miles, and what Hobie believes in.

________________________________________

In every scene, in every shot, and every line - Hobie is looking out for Miles in anyway he can. And although this theory doesn’t tell us much about his past, it re-enforces who Hobie is as a character: an agent of good and a driving force in Miles’ story.

Maybe Hobie does have canon events he’s still grappling with, and skeletons in his closet. Maybe we’ll one day understand the meaning of his blue laces. But in that moment, none of that mattered. This is Miles’ story, not theirs’, and Hobie knows this.

And that’s true punk tactics. I love Hobie Brown so much i could cry AHHHHHHHHHHHH

_________________________

SOOOOOOO I know it’s been a while but if you read this far - THANK YOU SO MUCH. Sorry if I’m a bit rusty at this, but this is something I’ve been wanting to write about for months now! And Im SOOOO happy its finally done GOLLLY JEEEE

Anyway, here’s Hobie. Bless up.

(right is actual photo of me writing this drunk as hell in my bed lmaooooo im so turnt right now Im sorry if this dont make sense anywayyyyy hes so fine whys he so perfect Hobie I Love YOuuuu wtfffff)

BYE.

[dr-futbol-blog]

Our hero, Major John Sheppard is stationed at McMurdo base in Antarctica at the start of the series. We learn that he likes it there. Sheppard himself tells Teyla in Sateda (S03E04): "Well, that [having no social skills] is why I enjoyed flying choppers in the most remote part of my world before all this craziness."

This is what John Sheppard tells us but we learn that what he tells us is not always the truth and certainly not the whole truth.

The alien AI that created a hallucination from Sheppard's own subconscious in Remnants (S05E15) poses him the question: "You're either someone with a death wish or someone running away from something. So tell me: what are you running away from?" Running away to the most remote part of his world, running away to another galaxy.

In fact, he has both been banished to and self-isolated in the most remote part of his world ("You torture yourself every day, John.") due to his "black mark" acquired in Afghanistan. We are never explicitly told what this black mark was, only that it bothered Gen. O'Neill and was something that Dr. Weir could live with. We are left wondering.

While we are shown something of what happened in Afghanistan during the episode Phantoms (S03E09), through the hallucinations from Sheppard's past of him failing to save Captain Holland, it isn't until toward the end of the series that we find out what happened through the mirror of a parallel reality in Vegas (S05E19), where alt!Rodney tells us "You were a helicopter pilot in Afghanistan but were dishonourably discharged for disobeying orders and trying to rescue a field medic trapped behind enemy lines. You were shot down – obviously survived, but unfortunately the crash killed four American soldiers along with eight civilians. You avoided jail time; the record was sealed for various political reasons."

The field medic in the Vegas-verse, one where "infinite variations of our own known reality where alternate versions of you and I play out events", is female; this revealed in a mumbled 'ur' (I didn't even catch it on first viewing even though I knew about the gender swap in advance; it might just as well have been "knew 'em") in alt!Rodney's line: "That field medic – the one you defied orders to go back and try and rescue. You knew her personally. You were... involved."

This was one of the differences between the two realities, perhaps even the most defining one of them, the point of divergence.

Vegas Sheppard dies to the tune of Johnny Cash's Solitary Man because that's what he was, a recluse (and note that the importance of Johnny Cash was underlined in the episode by Sheppard taking nothing but his poster, the same Johnny Cash poster that our Sheppard had in his quarters for all of the five years, with him once he walked away from his job; it carries weight):

I know it's been done havin' one girl who loved me Right or wrong, weak or strong Don't know that I will, but until I can find me The girl who'll stay and won't play games behind me I'll be what I am

But our Sheppard is not a Solitary Man (he has self-confessedly found something of a family in Pegasus). He's the Man in Black (in fact, he is dressed in black throughout the series even in situations where other fatigues would have made more sense; it is only in the very last episode that we see him in lighter colours):

I'd love to wear a rainbow every day And tell the world that everything's okay But I'll try to carry off a little darkness on my back 'Til things are brighter, I'm the man in black

We know the background. When the series begun, DADT was still in full effect, the franchise had a long-standing co-operation with the USAF, Prop 8 was still several years into the future. The non-normative sexual orientation of an All-American Action Hero was never going to be main-text. Even heterosexual romance between characters was mostly eschewed by the franchise. But damn if the subtext doesn't lay it out thick for us.

There are so many obvious parallels and comparisons in the show that I need to write them down somewhere, and while this is a day late and a dollar short, this fandom could do with some meta. So this marks the beginning of my journey through Stargate Atlantis with an eye on its bisexual protagonist.

[girlactionfigure]

Debunking the antisemitic  Talmud quotes meme promoted by @DanBilzerian and boosted by @RealCandaceO and her ilk

A thread.

Preface: None of this is new; most of these fake quotes originate from a couple of antisemitic German books that are over a hundred years old and they've been debunked over and over in many places. Sadly, most of them are not so accessible so I'll go over them myself. 

As far as my credentials, I'm a Rabbi who is in his second decade teaching Talmud for a living. This is something that occupies a large part of my day.

It's truly an eye-rolling moment whenever I see these quoted. Let me show you why:

1) Soferim 15

Mistranslation + taken out of context. 

In a discussion about generalities, Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai said that even the best members of your enemy nation, you should kill in a time of war instead of having mercy on them. This is rooted in the exodus from Egypt:

It says that after the plagues, when the Jews were in the midst of the sea, they were pursued by Pharoh and the rest of the egyptians on chariots. Now, how could they have chariots if all of their animals died in a plague?

Those who feared G-d brought them inside as per Moshe. 

So, they believed in the words of Moshe, they believed that G-d was sending those plagues on Egypt, and yet they still decided after seeing everything all the miracles they saw and knowing what they put the Jewish people through, to pursue them at sea in order to kill them. 

This is why Rabbi Shimon says that, in a time of war, don't have mercy on 'the best' of your enemies but rather kill them. We can see from this that they might have been the best members of their society but they still ultimately wanted to go through with their murderous intents. 

 Yevamot 98a

Fake translation, and out of context. 

There's a discussion about what happens when identical twin brothers converted, one marries a Jewish woman and he dies without having an heir: does his existing brother perform levirate marriage, or give her a form of divorce. 

There's a whole debate about whether or not he's permitted to do a levirate marriage.

One of the arguments that is brought is that since there's so much licentiousness in the non-Jewishness nation at the time, we don't know who is anyone's father as such, we don't allow it. 

To back this opinion, a verse from Ezekiel about the licentiousness of the Egyptians that compares their views on relationships with the way animals mate with each others without caring about who they mate with. 

So, in no way does it say that "children of non-Jews are animals." 

3) Bava Metzia 114b

Fake translation, and completely out of context. 

In short, there's a discussion about the idea of ritual purity, and whether the corpse of a non-Jew renders you impure if you touch their grave or not. According to Rabbi Shimon ben Gamliel, no. Here's why: 

He quotes a verse in relation to ritual purity that says that only Jews are called "Adam." 

Now, antisemites translate this as meaning man. Except, there are four terms that define man: Adam, Ish, Enosh and Gever. They all have different spiritual meanings.

So, Rabbi Shimon is not saying here that "non-Jews are not human", there's nothing about how non-Jews are beast at all mentioned there. In fact, the ones being compared to animals here are Jews (sheep). 

4) Gad Shas 2:2 

This is a fake quote. There's no such thing as Gad Shas.

In fact, both the Bible &  Talmud prescribe lashes for a Jewish man who engages in relations with a non-Jewish girl whether for pleasure or "marriage" (such unions are not legally recognized as marriage). 

5) Avodah Zara 36b

Fake translation and out of context.

Yes, non-Jewish girls are considered niddah from birth. So is the status of any non-Jewish woman who is unmarried as well. And married women for nearly half a month. 

It has nothing to do with "filth" at all. 

In fact, the reason why the Rabbis decreed that non-Jewish women are considered to be in a state of niddah from birth is to make it an even worse punishment if a Jew were to stay and have relations with one of them.

The Torah is really big into not intermarriage. Lots of verses. 

6) Sanhedrin 54b

Fake translation & wildly out of context.

This is a discussion specifically about *forbidden relationships* and whether it makes you susceptible to the death penalty. What's debated here is whether a person who engages in such horrible actions is put to death. 

The Sages determined that before the age of 9, children are completely unaware & don't understand what relations are. Between the ages of 9 & 13, while they do understand, they are not considered guilty whether passive or active. 

The whole discussion is about their victimizer. 

So here, the Jewish that is codified is that if a man forces someone between the ages of 9 & 13 to engage with him, that person gets the death penalty (and his victim does not) and under the age of 9, he does not get the death penalty but rather he gets lashes in public. 

The fact that he gets lashes for it instead of the death penalty doesn't mean that it's less than a crime. It's because it's considered something other than having relations, because a child that age is unable to understand what is happening and as such it's a different crime. 

For the record, Halacha also permits you to straight up kill this victmizer if you catch him in the act and it's necessary to stop, so it's not like he's being protected or we don't believe his crime is not something heinous. 

7) Sanhedrin 58b

Fake translation

The opinion of Rabbi Chanina is that if a non-Jew strikes a Jew, he is worthy of receiving the death penalty, as we saw when an Egyptian struck a Jew and Moshe killed him. 

Jewish law, however, says that a non-Jew is not executed for this. 

This is why so many of these are infuriating. This is one opinion talking about how someone "ought to" get something for doing something, but somehow it becomes transformed as "This is what Judaism believes." 

8) Sanhedrin 57a

Fake translation, plus out of context. 

Here, there is a whole discussion about the 7 Laws of Noach and whether a non-Jew who transgresses them is liable to the death penalty or not. 

Here  the Talmud states that laws against murder are stronger for non-Jews. 

As is codified in Halacha, a non-Jew who kills a fetus for example is going to be put to death, while it might not be the case for a Jew depending on the case. Same if he killed someone who was dying, or put them in a situation where they died indirectly because of him. 

So, if a non-Jew hired a hitman, locked someone and left them to starve to death or pushed them in front of a lion, they will be put to death while a Jew might not be in this situation.

That doesn't mean that a Jew is allowed to do such a thing; the Jew will in fact be punished. 

The only distinction here is that "7 mitsvot you can't violate, you can do whatever you want but otherwise you deserve the death penalty if you violate them."

Think of it like Adam in the Garden being told he has one thing to do, and one thing only. Breaking it is much worse. 

Since for Jews there are 613, there are more punishments than just the death penalty/nothing, which means that in certain cases, a Jew might be punished with lashes or spend the rest of his life in prison versus being put to death. Doesn't mean that non-Jewish lives don't matter. 

9) Tosfot  Yevamot 84b

Fake quote. 

I mean, I went through the Tosafot on that page twice and there's absolutely nothing even close. 

It's also confusing, because why with a dog specifically? That has no meaning to us, dogs aren't seen as particularly bad in Judaism. 

10) Bava Metzia 24a

Out of context. 

This is the closest one to being accurate, and yet at the same time wildly out of context. We start by discussing a case where a man saves a lost object from a wild animal, at sea, the flooding of a river, or finds it in a public place. 

There's a debate: did the owner despair of finding the object and, as a result, it is considered ownerless so the person who saved it is permitted to keep it, or does it still belong to his original owner who still hopes to retrieve it eventually. 

"Is the item owned or ownerless?" is the basic gist, and the answer is that if you find it in a place where it's a majority of non-Jewish inhabitants, it is considered ownerless (even if it belonged to a Jew in the first place) because it is not the way of people to get them back 

So it has nothing to do whether the owner of the object isn't Jewish (so you can keep it) but if he was Jewish you'd give it back. 

It has to do with whether the majority there are likely to give back such lost items or not, and it simply was not the case in those societies. 

11) Bava Kamma 113a

Fake quote, and out of context. 

This is a discussion that has to do with tax collectors who were ripping off people at the time and enriching themselves on the back of citizens by claiming taxes that didn't belong to them. Doesn't matter if Jewish or not. 

So there is a discussion about whether you are allowed to lie in order to protect yourself and your money from those thieves. 

The same way you'd be allowed to lie to "circumvent" a non-Jew about whether you were hiding a Jew in your attic during the Second World War. 

12) Avodah Zara 22a-22b

Mistranslation, and out of context. 

Basically, it says that you're not allowed to leave your animals alone in the inns of non-Jews at the time since you're putting a stumbling block in front of the blind as they commonly engaged in bestiality back then. 

I mean I don't think there's much to say about this, it's clear that in many places in the world this is just as common today as it was back then, and even in the more rural areas of the "developed" world it's still something that happens. 

The less said, the better. 

Conclusion:

This wraps up this ridiculous piece of propaganda. None of the quotes were 1) accurate, 2) complete and 3) in context. Some of them, straight up lies. 

Don't learn theology from memes, people. 

[richincolor]

New Releases for March 25, 2025

It looks like four new action filled books are hitting the shelves today. 

We Are Villains by Kacen Callendar Amulet Books

What happened to Arianna Reynolds?

Ari’s death was ruled an accident, but for her best friend Milo, it’s shrouded in mystery. Why was she in the woods on the night of the fire? Had she been alone? Figuring out what happened the night Ari died is the only reason Milo returns to Yates Academy, even knowing he’ll be in constant danger. . .

Liam is the King of Yates, a role he keeps hold of through his family’s old money—and the threat of violence. So when he begins receiving ominous letters from another student accusing him of murdering Ari, the suspect list is long. Desperate to prove his innocence before the accusation ruins his reign, Liam enlists Milo’s help to find the blackmailer. But the more Milo helps Liam, the more he becomes certain that Liam has something to hide.

As Milo comes closer to the truth, he uncovers secrets that everyone wants to keep buried . . . Featuring a cast of queer characters of color, We Are Villains is an electrifying mystery that will keep readers guessing.

Lovely Dark and Deep by Elisa A. Bonnin Feiwel & Friends

Hidden off the coast of Washington, veiled in mist, there is an island that does not appear on any map. And on that island is Ellery West.

Ellery West has always been home for Faith. After an international move and a childhood spent adjusting to a new culture and a new language, the acclaimed school for magic feels like the only place she can be herself. That is, until Faith and another student walk into the forest, and only Faith walks out.

Marked with the red stripe across her uniform that designates all students deemed too dangerous to attend regular classes, Faith becomes a social pariah, an exile of Ellery West. But all she has to do is keep her head down for one more year to graduate, and she gets to keep her magic. Because when students fail out of Ellery West, they have their magic taken away. Forever. And Faith can’t let that happen.

Except terrifying things are still happening to students, and the dark magic that was unleashed in the forest still seems to be at work. To stop it, Faith and the other Red Stripes will have to work together, risking expulsion from the magical world altogether.

When We Ride: A Novel by Rex Ogle Norton Young Readers

Diego Benevides works hard. His single mother encourages him to stay focused on school, on getting into college, on getting out of their crumbling neighborhood. That’s why she gave him her car.

Diego’s best friend, Lawson, needs a ride—because Lawson is dealing. As long as Diego’s not carrying, not selling, it’s cool. It’s just weed.

But when Lawson starts carrying powder and pills and worse, their friendship is tested and their lives are threatened. As the lines between dealer and driver blur, everything Diego has worked for is jeopardized, and he faces a deadly reckoning with the choices he and his best friend have made.

Award-winning memoirist and poet Rex Ogle’s searing first novel-in-verse is an unforgettable story of the power and price of loyalty.

Children of Useyi (Sisters of the Mud #2) by Moses Ose Utomi Atheneum Books for Young Readers

Eat. Dance. Fight for your life.

The girls in the Mud Fam are used to fighting hard—it’s the only way to win in their elite, all-female sport of Bowing. Thanks to her legendary performance at the last tournament, Dirt has helped their ranks swell with a bevy of new recruits. She has finally achieved her lifelong dream of restoring glory to the Mud Fam, and she’s more than ready to win the upcoming tournament. But everything changes when a man washes up on shore.

There are no adults on the Isle, not since the long-ago days when the gods walked the earth. Yet here is a mysterious man who calls himself Mister Odo and claims to come from the land of the gods. He declares a tournament to find the best Bower. Though wary of the secretive Mister Odo, Dirt is prepared to battle as a proud, fat Bower should—that is, until the competitors are attacked by monsters. The only thing that can save the girls is the gods-given magic that Dirt can channel…and even that might not be enough.

[kino-der-joon]

💫 Thinking some thoughts about the trailer and the leaks we got for the new cod game.✨

✨ I’m looking forward to being able to try out Grief!! I never got to play it because I never played Bo2 Or Bo6! (I wasn’t in this fandom when Bo2 came out and there just wasn’t enough Richtofen to justify me buying Bo6.)

✨ If the old crew is really being revived, I’m excited to see what that will entail!! And to be honest, that will be the only reason I buy the game when it comes out!!

✨ I never got to play Tranzit either, and it seems like there may be a Tranzit remake or a Tranzit inspired map for us !!!

💫 My only worry is that the leak everyone seems to be leaning on doesn’t make a lot of sense…First of all, it’s not Ultimis, but the crew look like an older version of Primis? …Is…Is that not what Ultimis technically is-?

💫 Second of all, it stated that “Dempsey, Tank, Takeo and Nikolai” will be playable. Now, I’m not an expert, of course. I only run a dedicated COD Zombies lore tumblr blog so, what do I know really, but, I think someone is missing from that list?? Someone very important?? Is they can’t even list the main four original characters, why are we giving them so much credit?

💫 Apparently there’s going to be a new villain who wants the “Dark Aether Essence” from the main four to revive the old multi-verse. This worries me for two main reasons:

💫 One: Unless this “Dark Aether Essence” is what contaminated their blood from all the interdimensional portals, it’s never been mentioned?

💫 Two: There’s a shot of some old looking prison cells, and people are speculating that they will do ANOTHER Mob of the dead remake…The opportunity for them to do a Blood of the Dead 2.0 is right there, using the original four’s blood to reboot the multiverse, and I really hope they don’t do that…

💫 I’ll still buy the game if we get a good handful of zombies maps with the original crew, and I’ll be happy to have them back. HOWEVER, I can’t help but feel like them coming back cheapens not only BotD’s ending, but also the official ending? Their story is done, everything is told, we don’t need them back I’d argue.

💫 I’m super excited to see what’s going to happen, but, I’m also nervous…Really nervous.

[sapphire-weapon]

I don't know if this is just my perception, but I've noticed that Krauser uses Ashley several times as a way to provoke Leon (especially during their final fight).

In their first encounter, immediately after Leon realizes it was Krauser who kidnapped Ashley, the camera focuses on his angry face and then on his hand about to grab his gun. As if the knowledge that it was Krauser who was to blame for Ashley's kidnapping was Leon's motivation to start fighting back.

Then there's that cinematic where Leon arrives just in time to see Krauser take Ashley away with nothing he can do to stop him. Krauser even walks slower and without bothering to turn to look at Leon, not even when he shouts Ashley's name. In Separate Ways, we see Krauser start running with Ashley in tow as soon as Leon can no longer see them.

After killing Salazar and using the elevator, if we use the rifle to get a closer look at the speedboat, Krauser turns to look at Leon, while Ashley is unconscious in the back seat, almost as if he is challenging him.

During their final fight, Krauser mocks Leon's concern for Ashley, and then tells him that he won't be able to save her, and that's when Leon explodes again.

Krauser taunts again when he tells Leon to hurry up or who knows what could happen to Ashley.

And near the end of the fight, Krauser tells Leon that if he needs motivation, he should think about Ashley.

I think Capcom's intention was to show how deeply Leon cares about Ashley through Krauser. That's why I can't take seriously people who say Leon only cares about Ashley because 'it's his job', it just doesn't fucking make sense, it's like they haven't played the damn game, or just decided to ignore all that.

there's a lot going on here, actually, and it goes deeper than just Ashley herself. Krauser absolutely dangles Ashley over Leon's head, don't get me wrong, because he knows that it's a source of angst and insecurity for him -- but it goes far deeper than just this one woman.

Krauser says at one point that he knows Leon's potential better than anyone -- he knows Leon better than anyone. and he may just be right.

in OG, Krauser asks Leon: "what is it that you fight for, comrade?" to which Leon responds: "my past, I suppose."

now, take that little snippet of a conversation and stretch it out over the course of four years of military training. it's likely that Krauser had to dig deep into Leon's psyche in order to motivate him to perform at his absolute best -- and what's at the center of everything for Leon is what happened in Raccoon City. Krauser likely knows every detail of what happened that night.

and what happened that night was that Leon failed to save the life of a single person.

so, since LeonA is canon in the Remake-verse, let's take a look at the list of people Leon failed to save in Raccoon City:

the cop in the gas station

Officer Elliott

Marvin Branaugh

Ben Bertolucci

Annette Birkin

Ada Wong

I don't know if you're keeping score, but that's... just about every person that Leon meets. the only exceptions to this are Kendo and his daughter (who Leon never attempted to save), Claire (who never needed saving), and...

Sherry, whom Leon then gets kidnapped and held hostage almost as soon as he volunteers to take sole custody of her.

so, when Krauser says to him: "you can't save anyone" he means anyone. the US government sent a man who's never been able to save anyone but himself on a mission alone to rescue the president's daughter. if anyone knew his history and his track record, he likely wouldn't have been the agent assigned to do this.

but the only person who knew it was Krauser, because Krauser's the only one who ever got close enough for Leon to tell. and since Krauser's now a traitor and a terrorist, he uses that knowledge as a cudgel to beat Leon with.

so -- yes, Krauser is purposefully using Ashley as a knife to twist in Leon's heart, and yes, saving her is more than "just doing my job" for him. it's extremely personal for him for many reasons. and as he starts to feel more and more affection for her, this need to save her becomes more and more intense, and it becomes easier and easier for Krauser to weaponize that against him.

and this is just storytelling 101. as the story goes on, the stakes have to rise higher and higher until they reach an absolute crescendo at the climax. and since Leon is so physically capable and very little in RE4make comes off as an actual threat to him, his stakes are mental and emotional in nature. as his feelings for Ashley intensify, so too does his anxiety about being able to save her.

the climax of RE4make's story is the walk to Luis's lab, and by then, Leon's feelings for Ashley have gotten so strong, and his need to save her has become so intense, that he sees her life alone as comparable to all of the people who died in front of him in Raccoon City.

if he can just save her, that would absolve him of his other failures.

that's why the script was written so that Ashley says the actual words to him in the ending.

this is the culmination of Leon's several character arcs in the series so far; it's the payoff for his character development; it's the catharsis for the angst he brings into RE4make with him.

Leon was a man who couldn't save anyone, but he ends RE4make as a hero.

his 21-year-old self would be so proud.

[animeyanderelover]

Anon: Yandere alphabet with Asano Gakuho?

Since you didn't specify which letters, I just chose four.

Tw: Yandere themes, toxic relationship, forced relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, controlling behavior, monopolizing behavior, isolation, manipulation, gaslighting

Yandere Alphabet

Death-How messy are they? Do they feel guilty/sorry for the lives they take?

🏫Gakuho may never drive a knife in another's heart and he may never use a gun to end someone's life but I would argue that the methods he uses make a normal death through a weapon seem preferable. He may not be an assassin yet he has tremendous influence and power in his hands. The things he can do are numerous and one option is as terrifying as the next one. You would know best just how terrifying Gakuho is as you are the unfortunate victim of his obsession. Gakuho, who believes that Ikeda's death was his own mistake, has since voted to never be so careless again in his life and let another mistake happen. This mindset can be perfectly applied to this topic as well as he does not let anything slide, no matter how harmless it might be. He seeks out total control and that not only includes his school and the students in it but also your life and the life of the people surrounding you. He wants perfection and if the people around you do not fit into his image, he will remove them.

🏫He ignores basic morals in favor of perfecting everything to his own image. He never feels any pity for the people he teaches a lesson as he always sees it as taking care of the pest before it can cause any damage. Obviously a huge part of the isolation he forces on you is a result of his own controlling personality yet I can't help but think that another reason he always reacts so quickly is because of the lingering guilt he feels for Ikeda's death. His former student was driven to suicide due to the intense bullying he had to endure and that memory that has led him to change his very foundation has led to a very intense overprotective instinct as Gakuho grows obsessed with you. If he eliminates the tender bud before it can grow into anything threatening for you, he genuinely believes that he does you a favor. You may not think the same but that's to be expected. You have a soft and good heart after all. He's just making sure that your heart doesn't crumble like his student's heart did.

Earnest-How intense and dangerous are they really?

🏫​Gakuho is a freaking monster and he doesn't even hide it as he believes his methods and the way he sees things to be the correct one. Everyone is one way or another intimidated by him although he possesses just as much charm and charisma to convince everyone of his decisions. It is honestly the sum of everything that makes him arguably the worst one of his verse. He has the influence, the money and the power that it takes to imprison you forever. He has the intelligence, the looks and the charm to influence the hearts and minds of the people around you even without having to use his position. He is very controlling and possessive which means that you have essentially no time for yourself as he has a schedule for your own life yet he is confident enough in the grasp he has on your life to even let you wander around freely if you have earned it as he knows that you have no means of freeing yourself from him.

Fight-How do they feel if their darling fights back/says they hate them?

🏫​It takes some courage to say this to a man who always emits such an intimidating aura and he gives you credit for doing so as many others wouldn't have the guts to do so. You are going to be the only one agitating yourself as Gakuho is terrifyingly calm as you do so. If he is doing something else whilst you fight back or run your mouth against him, he continues with what he is doing all whilst glancing occasionally at you to tell you that he is listening. You might think that he would punish disobedience but he is quite unbothered with your little temper tantrum. You may spout such claims but do you have any means to defy him? It is the knowledge that by the end of the day you won't be able to do anything that gives him such calmness. There is no need to get worked up over your empty threats after all. Instead he's hoping that venting your emotions out like this will help you to cool down and think rationally again.

Game-Do they see this all as a game?

🏫​No. Gakuho has never viewed anything as a fun game anymore since his own student committed suicide and the same counts for his feelings for you. As cruel, controlling and scary as Gakuho can be and will definitely be, he has always made sure to show you that the feelings he harbors for you are sincere. Even if his love may be twisted and dark, he has never considered you as anything less than his lover and partner he plans to keep with him until death tears you two apart. It is instead precisely because he holds you so dearly that he has done all the things he has done so far. He loves you and he protects you in the way he deems to be the right one and whilst those actions are extreme and without any morals attached to them, he does them because he is serious and dangerously committed to the relationship he has forcefully built with you.

[amberjazmyn]

always with me 💔

pairing : max verstappen x fem!reader, lando norris x fem!reader, oscar piastri x fem!reader & charles leclerc x fem!reader

summary : with the lyrics of westlife's song "always with me" we will see four of the f1 grid drivers (m.verstappen, l. norris, o. piastri and c. leclerc) or their partner deal with someone they love pass away, a verse or line or two of the song describing it

warnings : tears, death, mentions of f1 death, mentions of terminal illnesses and dodgy google translations 

a/n : this is going to be written in the same format as the last one-shot since i loved that so much. the lyrics in bold italics and everything else will be in normal font and lowercase. and as a disclaimer, what i have written is not to sensationalise or capatalise on any of the real-life deaths talked about whilst fake deaths will also be talked about. it is awful that real-life crashes have occured during an f1 race, this is just a work of fiction with real-life elements to make the storyline make more sense. 

max verstappen:

we share our life together, built our dreams forever, this much i know that is true. but i'd give anything to see your smile again and have just one more dance with you

you and max had shared everything together, from sharing the same dreams to just sharing the simple things of life with one another. however, that was no longer going to happen. a couple of months ago, just short of your three-month wedding anniversary, you passed away from a terminal illness and it completely blindsided both you and your new husband, max. of course it did, no one had expected you to become so ill but, you did and there was nothing that could have stopped it nor could have possibly prevented it from killing you. because it had been detected so late, it was already at the stage of being completely incurable, and not even chemotherapy or any other kind of therapy was able to help prevent it.

tears streamed down max's face as he sat himself down at the new gravestone that had just been put up for you. max verstappen was a well-known formula 1 driver with red bull and right now, he would be driving the british grand prix at silverstone but right now, he had graciously been given bereavement leave by red bull, which was why he was still in the netherlands, at the cemetery where his wife would forever lay. placing the bouquet of flowers on your headstone, max leaned back, sitting back down, grateful that the grass wasn't wet from any rain that was supposedly meant to come through the day before. this was a regular thing for max to do since getting his paid bereavement leave, come down to the cemetery and visit your gravestone. sometimes he'd stay for as short as five minutes to as long as one time he didn't leave the cemetery until it was two minutes from the gate's closing time. but, today, it was obvious for max that today wasn't going to be a day he'd want to stay too long. it was too painful for him to stay any longer than an hour because, for some reason, today was not the best day for him and he just couldn't fathom why.

max sighed, wiping his tears away as he immediately thought up his favourite things about you. saying them in dutch since he remembers just how much you loved it when he'd speak dutch to you. the thing he loved the most about you was your smile. your smile was his favourite thing about you. he was envious of how bright and happy it always was. he then suddenly snickered softly after a memory passed through his mind. the memory wasn't anything too big or dramatic but, it was just a small memory that he wishes he could have held onto forever. it was at your wedding night a couple of months ago just before you guys were set to do your first dance. oh... that was another thing, how he wished he could just have one last dance with you. you were such an amazing dancer that it made up for max's not-so-coordinated dancing considering he was built to be an f1 driver and not a dancer. not that max was an awful dancer however, i mean, he would sometimes do really well when he was messing around or playing just dance on the wii but, he was the worst when it came to freestyle dancing. whereas you were the royal highness of freestyle dancing but most especially contemporary since that was the dancing you were taught the most as a child. which always confused everyone when you and max said you'd known each other since childhood because the question was "how?" since max was always doing karting and you were always doing dance competitions. 

you giggled as you noticed your now-husband, max staring at you as you smiled, "waar ben je naar aan het staren?" you giggled as max giggled too as he held you closer, just as you were about to go to the dance floor for you and your husband's first dance as mr and mrs verstappen what are you staring at?

"jouw lach. het is de hele dag niet één keer veranderd. en ik wilde ook alleen maar naar mijn vrouw staren, is dat nu illegaal, mevrouw verstappen?" max teased as you giggled again, your smile staying plastered on your face like it had been the whole day your smile. it's not changed once this whole day. and also, i just wanted to stare at my wife, is that now illegal, mrs verstappen?

"ja, omdat ik blij ben, meneer verstappen. en natuurlijk is het oké dat je naar me staart, en het is niet illegaal, ik was gewoon in de war. bovendien hebben we onze eerste dans en ik wil niet dat mensen op ons wachten," you whispered back as max rolled his eyes as he reluctantly walked out to the dance floor with you yeah, because i'm happy, mr verstappen. and, of course, it's okay for you to stare at me, and it's not illegal, i was just confused. besides, we have our first dance and i don't want people waiting for us

you and max then danced your first dance as the verstappen's and, you couldn't help the smile that stayed on your face. you were so proud of max because he had finally gotten the steps of the first dance correctly. and, like you always told him, he was a good dancer, he just had to focus on the steps but to not forget to also not to overthink it too much, because that's why he'd often mess up during rehearsals. because he'd be overthinking the moves too much as well as worrying about his f1 physique and it would confuse him and that would be the reason why he'd just suddenly stop halfway through their dance rehearsals for their wedding whilst you would just continue.

the guests continued to cheer as you and max ran off the dance floor as everyone else ran onto it so they could continue the party as the slow song that was playing for the first dance was all of a sudden changed to an upbeat track. then, you just kissed max because of how proud you were of him for not overthinking the steps and being so seamless in his dancing. you guys then starting whispering to each other in english, even though you'd usually speak in dutch if you didn't want others hearing you, no one was going to because they were all so focused on the fact that the real party of the wedding had finally started. so you didn't feel like you had to speak in dutch. 

"...see, i told you maxie! you can dance! you just did it then and you didn't mess up once, you were perfect!" you bursted out in pride as max smiled, his cheeks going pink

"yeah, because you were with me and you're like, the royal highness of dancing, babe. that's the only reason, if i had to do that entire thing on my own, i'd be falling over and dancing with two left feet!" max rolled his eyes dramatically which made you roll your eyes as well

"oh yeah, that's a lie babe! you weren't overthinking and you weren't trying to do too many things at once, that's why. and besides, you can dance, and you can dance more amazingly then you actually give yourself credit for considering you are a formula 1 driver..." your voice was fading as max was leaving the memory and back to real life when he heard the voice of a slightly younger woman who was sitting down at a gravestone next to him, speaking in dutch, a different contrast to the english between you and max 

"...gaat het, lieverd?" the girl asked, noticing that max was now sobbing silently, slightly frightened by the new voice but nodded his head as he smiled at the girl - she couldn't have been any older than twenty-seven are you okay darling?

he then noticed the gravestone that she was kneeling in front of and his heart almost broke. it seemed like she was visiting the grave of her spouse, just like he was.

"ja sorry. het gaat goed met me," max giggled uncomfortably as the girl offered max a tissue, which he gladly accepted as she then moved closer and started asking questions about who's gravestone it was that max was sitting in front of yeah, sorry. i'm fine

"als ik vragen mag, wie zie je dan?" the girl questioned as he smiled, wiping his tears away and sniffled if i may ask, who is it that your seeing?

"mijn vrouw... we waren net een paar maanden geleden getrouwd, maar helaas werd zij binnen een paar weken na ons huwelijk ongeneeslijk ziek en overleed niet lang daarna..." max trailed off as the girl sighed in empathy as she nodded her head my wife...we had just got married a couple of months ago but, sadly, she unfortunately, got terminally ill within a couple of weeks after our wedding and then passed away not long after that

"...en jij? wiens graf is dat?" he then asked softly as the girl smiled in the same way that max had what about you? whose grave is that?

"mijn man... hij is twee jaar geleden overleden, we waren geliefden op de middelbare school en toen kreeg hij niet lang nadat we getrouwd waren ook kanker, net zoals jouw vrouw. Ik weet niet hoe, maar we kwamen er doorheen en toen stierf hij op een avond in mijn armen..." the girl trailed off, however there were no tears as she explained it and it kind of gave max some hope that he'll eventually stop crying when explaining what happened to his own wife my husband...he passed away two-years-ago, we were high school sweethearts and then he developed cancer not long after we got married too, just like your wife did. i don't know how but, we get through it and then, he died in my arms one night

"...oh, het spijt me zo om dat te horen. en als ik het niet erg vind: hoe lang duurde het voordat je stopte met huilen toen mensen je naar hem vroegen?" max questioned with a small sniffle, his tears starting to subside as the girl smiled oh, i'm so sorry to hear that. also, if you don't mind me asking, how long did it take for you to stop crying when people asked you about him?

"persoonlijk duurde het bij mij tot een paar weken geleden, maar dat betekent niet dat het bij jou zo lang zal duren. ik ben niet beschut, ik weet wie je bent, max verstappen, maar als je terugkeert naar de formule 1, zal het je helpen sneller te genezen. misschien duurt het een jaar of misschien zelfs een paar maanden. er is geen goed of fout. als je morgen stopt met huilen, is dat ook goed. en in welke herinnering zat jij toen ik merkte dat je huilde als ik het vraag, want ik heb dezelfde herinnering elke keer als ik hier kom om mijn man te bezoeken," max smiled as the girl asked him that personally, for me, it took around until a couple of weeks ago but, that doesn't mean that it'll take that long for you. i'm not sheltered, i know who you are, max verstappen, but when you return to formula 1, it'll help you heal quicker. maybe it'll take a year or maybe even a couple of months. there's no wrong or right. if you stop crying over it tomorrow, that's okay as well. also, what memory were you in when i noticed you were crying if you don't mind me asking, because i have the same memory every time i come here to visit my husband

"onze eerste dans op onze bruiloft. ik ben uiteraard niet de beste danseres, maar mijn vrouw, zij... zij was de beste danseres ooit. maar eerlijk gezegd was ze een getrainde hedendaagse danseres, dus het is logisch dat ze een betere danseres is dan ik, maar ja. ik geef er alles voor om haar te zien lachen en nog één keer met haar te dansen..." max trailed off as the girl nodded her head and stood up and walked away our first dance at our wedding. i'm not the best of dancers, obviously, but my wife, she...she was the best dancer ever. in fairness to her though, she was a trained contemporary dancer so, it makes sense that she's a better dancer than me but, yeah. i just give anything to see her smile and have one more dance with her

but, before she did walk away, she told max what memory she has about her husband, "...dat is mooi, want ik heb precies dezelfde herinnering aan mijn man en ik op onze bruiloft tijdens onze eerste dans. mijn man was ook een geschoolde hedendaagse danser en was een veel betere danser dan ik..." that's lovely because, i have the same exact memory of my husband and i at our wedding during our first dance. my husband was also a trained contemporary dancer and was a way better dancer than i was

lando norris:

now i'm half the man without you, and it's getting harder every day

lando couldn't breathe. well, he could but barely. it had barely been a couple of days after his best friend harry had dropped dead from what was a suspected suicide attempt and already, lando felt as though he was half the man without his best friend. it felt as though he would never be able to stop crying because it was all he found himself able to do. he was thankful to have you, his wife, your dog, the rest of his family and his formula 1 teammates by his side but, it still didn't feel whole like it would have if his best friend was alive. you could tell that this whole situation of his best friend killing himself and then having to rush home from the airport since the next f1 grand prix was supposed to start again after two weeks off to then rush to the hospital to be told his friend had died had exhausted him out.

and then, on top of that, because lando was the closest person to his best friend by way of family, lando had to help in the planning of the funeral for his best friend and it was obvious how stressful this was for your grieving husband. the worst part of all was the fact it was being publicised everywhere because of lando's f1 fame. sure, the moment you become famous, basically everything about you becomes public knowledge but, this, this you thought was a little bit too far. who on this earth wants to read a news article about your husband's best friend dying of suicide? well, clearly the oddballs because your eyes widened at how many clicks this certain article that you had accidentally stumbled upon was receiving daily. your heart sank as you then lifted your head up from the image that had been photographed of your husband with the mother of the deceased best friend from a day or two ago to look at your husband, lando, who seemed to have the same sunken, grieving look on his face that he had in the photo.

you threw the tablet down to the bed and extended your hand out to lando who immediately grabbed it, "...what's going on in that head of yours, babe?" you questioned as lando huffed shakily as he shrugged his shoulders

"i...i have no idea, y.n. i'm just so stressed, i..." lando couldn't even finish his sentence because he just started to cry out of the blue - grateful that it was just you two in the house, the family giving the both of you a break

"...oh, honey. i know, it's not easy my love but you are doing so well!" you whispered as you tightly embraced lando as he continued to cry into your shoulder, his body sagged from exhaustion

"is this ever going to get easier?" lando whimpered as he closed his eyes and let the river of tears that welled in his eyes pour down his cheeks as you sighed, hugging your grief-stricken husband tighter

"i think so, lan. not right now because everything's happening so quickly with the planning of the funeral and all the phone calls you and harry's mum have had to make but, i do believe it'll get easier. the hurt you feel currently will start to fade and it won't hurt as much as it does right now. but, how long it'll take, i have no idea," you sighed softly as lando limply nodded his head

you could tell he was so exhausted but, it was the exhaustion that couldn't be fixed with sleep. however, you could tell that he was also tired, one that could be fixed with sleep. so, your heart broke in the knowledge that you didn't know what to do to help your husband. you didn't want to send him upstairs to your guys' room but you knew that the phone calls he and his best friend's mum were doing was causing him so much stress and you just wished you could take his pain away. so, you decided the best thing was for you to send lando up to your guys' bedroom to have a quick sleep while you and his best friend's mum continued the phone calls to the extended family and the rest of the planning that lando was tasked to do alongside his best friend's mum.

"lan, babe, i don't think you're in the right headspace to continue with the phone calls and funeral planning so, go upstairs and have a sleep for about an hour or two and i'll continue the phone calls and help harry's mum with the funeral planning until you wake up again, okay? is that okay with you?" you proposed as you could tell your proposal to help almost made lando cry all over again

"no, y.n, babe, it's fine, i can do it! i just needed to take a breather, i'm fine, i need to do it. harry's mum can't do it on her own, she needs me to help her..."

"...and i understand you want to help harry's mum, i get it, sweetheart. but, babe, look at the state of you, you are not in the right state of mind to be on the phone with his family and the funeral directors. there's a reason why his mum has been attempting to be this strong and it's because she has to. so, i'll ask you again, go upstairs to our room and i'll take care of this. what you need is sleep. you are wrecked and the only way you'll be able to continue is if you rest and take care of yourself. you are not okay, lan, you just lost your best friend..." you trailed off as lando's eyes closed and he covered his face with his hands

you felt awful for making your husband cry again but, it seemed as though lando was still in a battle of the denial and depression stages of grief and it had only been about, two or three days since his best friend passed away.

"...you need to take care of yourself babe, i'm sorry for making you cry again but, you cannot keep overwhelming yourself with these phone calls and everything else of the sort. remember, whilst the others on the grid don't know everything, they still know some of what's going on and like me, they also want to help. so, maybe, it'll be a good thing if you shoot them a quick text in the group chat or ring one of them and, once i've finished a couple of phone calls myself, i'll come upstairs to join you for that nap, deal?" you tried to convince lando but, it seemed like you didn't even need to try since lando just weakly nodded his head in agreement as you smiled softly with a head nod

"okay, i'll text the group chat and have a sleep. thank you, babe, i love you so much," lando whispered as he sauntered over to you and gave you a hug and the sweetest kiss as you smiled and nodded your head

"of course, babe. i didn't just marry you because of how attractive you are," you joked in the hope of getting your husband to giggle and, for a moment, it worked which you nearly screamed the house down over

but, it wasn't until you watched him ring up the group chat, oscar answering, that you truly realised how hard lando had taken the death of his best friend. whilst it brought tears to your own eyes, watching your husband be so grief-stricken and almost lifeless over the phone with oscar and his teammates broke your heart, you knew it was still something that brought that little bit of joy when he got to hear the voices of his f1 grid family on the other line of the phone that made this loss that little bit easier to deal with. 

sure, right now, a couple of days after the death of lando's best friend harry was going to be hard and painful but, it wasn't going to stay this painful forever and soon, lando would be able to find it easier to breathe and easier to be without his best friend.

oscar piastri:

i'll never let go, you're the one that keeps me breathing. time slows even though the world keeps spinning

it hadn't even been that long since you and oscar had gotten married in london's west end when the heartbreaking news of oscar's dad's death had been confirmed. you hadn't been at the hospital in london that day since you were running some errands but you knew that oscar was since there was a two week break inbetween the last and next grand prix and that, he'd need you the moment he gave you that specific code word to let you know that your father-in-law had passed away. so, when you received that code word from your husband, you dropped everything you were doing (literally) and you rushed to the car.

you knew that oscar's heart was shattered and that he was barely breathing. even for you, your world was slowing down but you could not imagine how slow oscar's was whilst the world around him kept spinning. so you knew you needed to hurry up because there was only so long oscar could keep his tears to himself before he'd just drop to the floor and cry.

thankfully, you weren't that far away and you had arrived in a whopping five minutes that would normally have been fifteen minutes from where you were to the hospital that mr piastri had been in. and, almost immediately, you could tell by the distraught look on oscar's face that he was seconds from breaking down into tears. so, very quickly, as your world started to speed up to normal speed again and oscar's stayed at slow, you managed to whisk him out of the hospital room and into the privacy of the hospital's waiting room hallway as you held your husband ever so tightly as he just cried and cried and cried.

you couldn't help the tears that streamed down your own cheeks as oscar sobbed hysterically into your shoulders. it seemed like his tears weren't ever going to stop as you rubbed your hand up and down his back in a very futile effort to console him but, it was as though he was inconsolable and you couldn't blame him. you knew exactly what the loss of a parent felt like, you lost your own dad when you were twelve years old, two years after you had met oscar for the first time actually and you just remembered how supportive oscar and his whole family were. but, none were more supportive and helpful in your grief then oscar's dad, when you would sometimes be inconsolable, mr piastri just knew the things to do and say to you that would get those tears to stop and it was only in this moment that you wished you had recorded those words on your phone so that you could play them for oscar right now. because it seemed like no matter what you whispered or did, nothing could possibly help stop oscar's cries of pain, anguish and grief over the loss of his father.

"...i am so sorry, baby. your dad loved you so much. and you were such an amazing son to him as well, never forget that..." you trailed off, slightly disheartened that nothing you could say could console your husband but, you had to remember that this was only hours recent for oscar whereas, for you, it's been up to a decade, even longer since your own dad died

so, you took a deep breath and you pulled out of the hug. which, of course broke your heart because seeing your husband cry was the worst thing in the world for you, you just coached him into taking some deep breaths. because, since he was crying so much and his breathing was uneven, he was going to start to hyperventilate which would send him into a panic attack which was not what you or oscar needed. so, finally, oscar got his breathing under control and his tears slowly but surely started to cease and his wails were no longer loud, the tears were silent and his breathing was slightly shaky. but, this oscar, this oscar was easier to comfort and talk to whereas the other oscar that was sobbing and wailing was not easy to talk to since it wasn't registering in his mind that someone was talking to you, let alone his own wife.

"...osc, my love, do you feel somewhat better?" you whispered after calming down oscar as he shrugged his shoulders after he had hesitated to nod his head yes

"i...i don't know...dad's gone, babe. my dad's dead..." oscar trailed off as tears started to well in his eyes again as you squeezed his hand tightly, telling him that it was okay to cry absolutely but not to work himself up in the state he was before

"...i know babe. i know he's gone but, we need to calm down because we can't help if we're hysterical, alright? so, what do you need to do and what do you want to do? do you want to stay here with your family and ring the important people or do you wanna go home and i can ring everyone from home?" you gave oscar options, knowing if he'd be unsure, he could pick from the options you gave him which, you could tell appreciated as he wiped his tears off his cheeks as he composed himself

"umm, can...can we go home? i can't, i can't stay here anymore..." oscar sniffled as he wiped more tears from his cheeks as you nodded your head

"...of course we can babe, we don't need to say here but, it'll be helpful to tell your mum that we're leaving and if there is anyone we need to call, we can do it for them, okay?" you proposed as oscar nodded his head

"thank you," he whispered, resting his head on your shoulder as you bit your lip, brushing your fingers through his messy hair

"of course, sweetheart. it's not a problem or worry at all. if you need to go back home, we'll go back home," you whispered back and kissed your husband, only wishing you could take his pain and go through it all over again with your dad's death so he didn't have to with his own dad

by the time you and oscar had let mrs piastri know that you guys were going home but if there was anyone they needed to call to lessen the stress on her and everyone else, they'd do it. she thanked you and oscar and said there wasn't anyone in the family they needed to call. but, if you wanted to call his team leader at mclaren and the rest of the f1 grid to let them know, that you could do that because you both knew that oscar would need their help over anyone else's and, you agreed.

even though oscar's world was spinning ever so slowly whilst everyone else's was spinning normally, you promised you weren't going to let his world stay spinning slowly nor would you let it spiral out of control. so, you informed his f1 grid family of the news before the press could and asked if and when they could get over to london that it would be much appreciated since she knew she couldn't console her husband on her own.

but, there was no doubt in your mind that eventually, oscar's world would go back to spinning normally, just right now, it wouldn't be and that was okay. as long as it didn't stay spinning slowly forever, you were okay with that.

charles leclerc:

they say that time can heal a broken heart but i just don't know how this could be true. everyday i see a picture on my wall, my heart is broken into two.

your heart broke as you saw the melancholic look on your husband's face as he looked at the photo of his dad and godfather, herve leclerc and jules bianchi, that was hanging up on the wall of your guys' house. you could tell his heart was breaking into two. yours was as well. mr leclerc had died back in twenty-seventeen when charles was twenty just four days before charles would go on to win the feature race at the twenty-seventeen baku formula two round, two days before mr leclerc died, charles had lied to him saying he had been signed a contract with formula 1.

jules, his godfather, dying in twenty-fifteen during a race, two years before herve would die from a terminal illness. two years, they had died within a space of two years and it was too much for anyone to handle however, it had now been a considerable amount of years since both deaths however, it was coming up to the annviersary of his godfather, jules, death. the anniversary of his dad's death just gone in june. charles was so young when he lost his godfather and then two years later, as he's months away from joining formula 1, he loses his dad. it was a grief and a  trauma that hung over the ferarri driver constantly. charles adored jules and his father, he loved them more than he thought he could have loved anyone, of course, other than the rest of his family and you, his wife. so, you just knew charles' heart was breaking every single day that passed because the only things he now has left of his dad and godfather were the photos and the videos and the memories they shared together, no longer having the opportunity to create new ones with them ever again. 

however, this day, you could tell that charles was thinking about something and it was eating away at him so, you asked him, "what's going on in that head of yours, charles?" you questioned softly, wrapping your arms around his waist as your head rested on his shoulder as he sniffled softly

"something that mum said to us not long after dad had died at jules' grave..." charles sniffled as your heart sank, you knew exactly what it was that charles was going to say since it was not a new thing anymore

"...yeah, what was it?" you asked even though you both knew what it was, you just knew it would be beneficial for charles to say it so, he said it

"they say that time can heal a broken heart but, i don't think that's true..." charles sobbed softly as you hugged him tighter as you sighed

"...your mum lost the love of her life, charles, of course she's going to say that...besides, you guys also lost your godfather two years earlier, what else could she have said..." you trailed off, hoping it wouldn't come off as offensive to your father-in-law and husband's godfather as charles smiled softly

"...i know but, could it be true? can time heal a broken heart?" charles wandered, it was truthfully something he wondered the moment his grief-stricken mother said those words after his dad died whilst at the grave of his deceased godfather

 "well, personally, my mum thinks so. i mean, she remarried the man who would become my father after her first love, well, who she thought was the love of her life, died so, i suppose time can heal a broken heart..." you trailed off as charles smiled as he nodded his head

"... mais, le voudriez-vous?" charles then questioned in french, no longer bothered to speak in english as that stumped you, what on earth was your husband talking about now? but, would you?

"je ferais quoi, bébé?" you questioned with a soft giggle as alex scoffed and introduced the thing that's called context would i what, babe?

"est-ce que tu pourrais te remarier avec un autre homme si j'étais mort avant notre mariage et si j'avais eleanor et sage?" charles questioned as this stumped you even more even though you couldn't deny the fact you had thought about this, especially after jules' as you guys weren't old enough to be having kids let alone be in a serious commited relationship yet not so much after mr leclerc's either even though you were now married and had two daughters, you were more focused on the grief of the family that you had no time to think about it after mr leclerc's death would you possibly remarry another man if i had died before we got married and had eleanor and sage?

"well, i don't know, amore. i mean, mum's first husband died because he was terminally ill and knew that he wouldn't stay alive for the two of them to get married and have the timeline that he wanted so, he allowed my mum to fall in love again so she could still have the timeline that she wanted so, that's what she did. she met my dad, fell in love, and then got married and then had her seven kids. but, if you were to die on me now with our two kids and the third on the way, who knows what i'd do because maybe i won't or maybe i will fall in love again but, because i'm not in that situation, i have no idea... what about you, would you remarry if i died?" you responded with your answer, switching back to english seamlessly and then asked charles the same question as he sniffled, wiping away his tears

"well...yeah, i don't know. maybe if weren't already married and with our three kids, i'd consider marrying again but, because i'm with you and have our three kids, i don't think i would because you're all i want in my life...and, i think that's why mum said that..." charles trailed off as tears continued to stream down his face which you could tell was starting to slightly annoy him

"...yeah? because she knew there was no one else that she would love the same way or as greatly as she loved your father. as well as she knew that no matter how long it had been since the loss of both jules and your father, that she felt like time would never make it better. and it's true, some people who do become widows or widowers don't ever get married or even find another person because their person before was the only one for them and in their minds, there was no one else for them but that one person..." you trailed off as charles nodded his head, you could tell the cogs in his head were spinning so you allowed him and waited for his next thought

"...i just, i still can't believe, after so many years, that both jules and dad are gone, like, they're never coming back, babe..." charles' voice broke off at the end as his eyes widened once he realised what he had just said as your heart broke

"...oh, babe..." you trailed off as you turned charles around into your embrace, away from the photo on the wall and let him cry into your shoulder

you knew that charles just wished he could see his dad and godfather again instead of having to constantly look at the photos and the memories of his dad and godfather. but, you also knew that he knew that jules and mr leclerc were always going to be with him, whether that was on the f1 track or in his everyday life. you just hoped he knew that you were also going to always be with him no matter what.

fin

okay, this one was kinda messy and i'm pretty sure the european languages to english were dodgy as fuck but at this point i'm proud of myself alright? also, i'm sorry that this was super depressing, for those who are reading my books for the first time, depressing shit and angst is kind of my specialty but, in saying that, i do write happier and fluffier stuff, i just write angsty shit a whole lot better and seamlessly without making it awkward. also, just as a disclaimer, this was not at all meant to be disprespectful to those real people that have been lost in the real-life context of this one-shot since it was only two people and that was jules bianchi and herve leclerc since the other three were completely fictional deaths.

©⠀amberjazmyn's original work. do not translate or steal any of my fics. 2024