#( the man may have retired but the legend lives on! )

[aliford]

I think I'd make a good cryptid, or urban legend, like slenderman or a Yeti. Am I real, am I am not, we'll never konw. Gotta ask what would make you a good werewolf?

Tony, the man they myth the legend, retired like twenty years ago, but his vibe lives on. Well don't tell the other two, but you've got my vote, which as King, that's gotta count for like 100 votes, at least. I don't know, what do you want? Be ridiculous, I'll make it happen.

I wish I had wings, that would be cool. Thanks I think? I wish I was supernatural too, I'd make a good werewolf.

Is he at the Olympics this year? Or did he retire? All hail King Ali!!! I mean there's two others as well, but I think I'm up there for taking the elite Evans title, not gonna lie. Aww thanks. But seriously like what could you even offer me? I'm only giving you cheesecake

[phoenixkaptain]

I love it when pre Original Trilogy era shows how much effort went into making the Death Star. It took decades, literal decades, and it took so much money and so many people and it was such a secretive thing and it’s staffed by millions because it’s the size of a small moon.

I cannot express how much all of the added information makes it so much funnier that Luke blew it up.

Luke destroys literally everything Palpatine built. He blows up the Death Star, which was referenced in universe as early as the second movie. He blew up the weapon of mass destruction twenty years in the making. And he blew it up pretty much directly after it’s first and only successful attack. It was operational for fifteen minutes, fifteen minutes that Palpatine had the thing he’d been building for longer than Luke has been alive, and Luke blows it up. First day retirement, but first hour retirement.

Luke convinces Darth Vader to turn back to the light side, a feat thought literally impossible by literally everybody. Sidious clearly doesn’t see Vader’s betrayal coming. Vader’s betrayal was not in his plans, nor was it something he was prepared for. Sidious is a powerful Force user with all four limbs while Vader is a man in the tin can Palpatine put him in. If Palpatine had seen Vader turning coming, he would not have allowed it to happen.

Luke literally should not even be alive. Palpatine almost definitely got Padme out of the way on purpose, and he almost certainly was trying for her unborn child as well (there was way too big of a risk that a cute liddol bebe would bring some humanity back to Anakin, and Palpatine did not want Anakin to have any humanity) Luke living is literally the first step in Palpatine’s ultimate downfall, especially once Vader finds out that Luke is his son. His very alive son. His son that is not dead, despite Palpatine claiming Anakin killed Padme. Implying that Anakin killed Padme and she posthumously gave birth. But, she didn’t give birth on Mustafar, which was the last place Anakin interacted with her. And once the mother dies, you have to get those fuckers out fast or they die too.

I imagine Darth Vader piecing all of this together is that meme with all the math floating around his head, because how could Padme have died by his hand and then given birth like two hours later?

Luke killing Palpatine is what ultimately leads to the dissolution of the Empire as an omnipotent entity. Luke killed the Empire. Luke spends a good amount of his adult life killing Empire remnants. We see that in the Mandalorian, since he’s so recognizable that Gideon immediately knows he’s fucked just by seeing an X-wing. We read it in Legends’ continuity, where Luke terrifies Imperials because he can walk into their changing room and stand in their for a minute and they don’t even notice.

Luke destroyed Palpatine’s life’s work. Everything Palpatine spent his whole life working towards, and Luke kills all of it. He blows up not one, but two Death Stars (he may not have pulled the trigger on the second Death Star, but without him, it never would have been destroyed). He convinces not one, but multiple Sith and Dark Jedi to return from the Dark Side. He is the only reason that Obi-Wan Kenobi, the biggest pain in Palpatine’s ass ever born, lives long enough to make it to the Death Star.

Palpatine went through so much effort. And just when he had finally won, when he finally had a weapon capable of destroying entire planets with a single blast, making it impossible for any planets or peoples to go against him, Luke shows up nineteen years late to the Jedi party with space Starbucks and a droid twice his age and almost singlehandedly destroys everything Palpatine ever had a hand in creating.

Luke manages to become even worse than Obi-Wan Kenobi, the ultimate thorn in the side of politicians, and Luke doesn’t even understand any politics. He wasn’t trained in diplomacy like Obi-Wan and Leia, no, he’s a farmboy who left home for the first time in his entire life, just this morning. And he is the one to destroy the Empire.

If they rewrote Star Wars and had it entirely from Palpatine’s perspective, Luke Skywalker would be his greatest foe. Luke Skywalker would be the final boss. Luke Skywalker is the antithesis of everything Palpatine believes in and he is the one character that Palpatine cannot predict. He isn’t as moldable as Anakin, he doesn’t respond to threats very well, he’s apparently impossible to kill via Force lightning (still the funniest scene of all times, the progression of Palpatine’s face falling and him looking like “what the fuck??? Is this kid rubber??? I’ve electrocuted him eight times???”), his unwavering faith in his father’s goodness makes Darth Vader want to be a better person, Luke Skywalker is the big bad of Palpatine’s story and—

There is nothing in this world that is funnier than someone’s biggest antagonist being Luke fucking Skywalker. Luke Skywalker, who saved the galaxy with the power of love and who shouldn’t exist, by Jedi rules and by Palpatine’s own attempts, and whose best friends are literally droids, which Palpatine canonically hates!

Everything about this is hilarious, this is the funniest thing in all of media, Palpatine loses absolutely everything to some backwater farmboy who fucking likes droids.

[disneyprincemuke]

» disneyprincemuke's f1 masterlist

series

vettel reincarnate * female!driver -> after retiring from formula 1 at the end of the 2022 season, f1 legend sebastian vettel realised a while after the announcement that he would miss the paddock way too much. instead of taking back his announcement, he pairs up with an up-and-coming driver and gets her a seat in a race car in formula 1.

in another life * female!driver x logan sargeant -> "if not in this universe, do you think we're at least together in another?" "there has to be at least one where we're happy."

it's nice to have a friend * logan sargeant x platonic fem!driver -> it's never fun feeling like an outsider, so you'd sworn that nobody would ever feel the way you did all those years ago

i'm giving up your ghost * multiple drivers -> i’d live in these stories forever if it means being with you

fast times and fast nights * f1 grid as wags -> what do you expect when you put the grid and their partners on a reality show?

i said "i love you" * valentine's day special -> different reactions to the phrase

max verstappen

midnights -> a compilation of lonely midnights shared between you and max following your breakup

5 times -> there are five times max almost caught himself saying he loves you, and then there’s the time that he finally let you know

3 times -> you've had a crush on the racing prodigy for as long as you've known him - you had your own troubles biting back on words too.

glitter -> it’s the morning after a party, and you find yourself tangled up in bed with your boyfriend

the other woman -> everything falls into place in your mind when max fails to show up for you at the one event you desperately wanted him to be at

charles leclerc

i quit drinking -> you were never one to turn down alcohol. when you do, it causes a ruckus among your friends.

to forget you -> you avoided alcohol to forget the likes of charles, but he coped by drowning himself in the very same thing that reminded him of you

you called -> you called, so he came.

dancing with your ghost -> the ghost of your relationship lingers in your old apartment, reminding you of what's lost

george russell

sex -> it was supposed to be just sex

be mine -> your last night together ended on a bad note, and now you’re back after months to explain yourself

alex albon

love like this -> alex may be the reason your parents are separating, but he proves to you that soulmates still exist

get this right -> the thought of proposing to you is one that always comes easy to alex, but what he hadn’t expected is how difficult it is to execute it

first podiums -> it’s her first win in formula one as a female driver and her boyfriend can’t be any happier for her

logan sargeant

take my hand * prince!logan -> the princess, to inherit the throne after marriage, is having the hardest time trying to find a man to wed. until, a certain duke of somewhere comes riding in to ask for her hand

our spot -> a text from you is the last thing logan expects when he's back home for the holidays especially when it's your first text in almost two years

our spot, 2 -> it’s about two weeks since you last saw logan and you find him sitting all alone in the dark

oscar's girl / logan's girl -> logan never thought he would meet the girl that broke oscar’s heart

where the fun begins * frat!logan (college!mick) -> logan sees you wrapped around another’s arms shortly after you ghost him and he decides to wreak some havoc

to the moon and back * dad!logan -> the misadventures of little luna sargeant

carlos sainz

one of your girls -> you’re just another name in black ink in his long list of girls, and you should know better. so why are you at his apartment in the middle of the night after weeks of radio silence?

oscar piastri

logan's girl -> oscar truly never thought he would ever see the girl that was the cause of his first ever heartbreak

mastermind -> oscar did not expect that he had to share a bed with you during his trip to visit you over his break

mick schumacher

no other shade of blue, but you -> you didn't have a favourite colour up until you met him

where the fun begins * college!mick (frat!logan) -> logan sees you wrapped around another’s arms shortly after you ghost him and he decides to wreak some havoc

invisible string -> unbeknownst to you, there was a force that was pulling you and mick together your entire lives

[valeovalairs]

Smiles, here’s a Legend of the Riptide Pirate AU character lore dump (slash info about them just compiled into one place)

Chip

The “Riptide Pirate”

Uses his bandana to appear alive and eternally 19, despite being undead and being an actual skeleton at this point.

You know that meme, how do you do fellow kids? That’s how I envision Chip in this AU. He desperately wants to still appear young and cool once he meets the girls and warms up to them but he is an old man in a modern world. My guy is struggling.

He is very sad.

He kept the Albatross busy and alive with people for a very long time, at least a good hundred years, until it became too painful and he stopped letting people on. That’s when he became more of a legend, when he retreated into the shadows.

He still hangs out in Zero. He tries to spend most of his time there because he wants to enjoy what time he has left with Ollie, but sometimes he’ll get restless and go off on the Albatross.

He has grey streaks in hair- because when he realized Jay and Gil had both started greying and looking older and he still looked 19, they all got really sad and he gave himself grey streaks and said, “look, we match now.” There were tears.

Ollie

He’s alive!

He is a very very old man though. Like maybe even 200ish probably (half-elf’s can exceed 180 which is probably for them what 70 is for humans).

He did travel a lot with the Riptide Pirates in his adulthood, but eventually settled in Zero.

Chip still comes to visit him and his family, who know him as “Uncle Chip”. A lot of them also traveled with the Riptide Pirates at one point or another while he still had a crew.

He has dementia:( Sometimes he’ll see Chip and ask where Gill and Ms. Jay are and it hurts Chip every single time.

Jay

Guys she’s dead, I’m sorry.

She traveled on the Albatross for decades before retiring/settling (with who, idk, but I do really like clockwork/birdbolt wives, so with Ensa maybe?)

I don’t know if she had kids (definitely not bio kids but maybe she like raised some kiddos at some point idk)

She still would join Chip and Gil occasionally on the Albatross until she physically could not anymore, and then Chip would visit her.

She died of old age.

Gillion

He’d dead, but I don’t know what happened to him.

I mean it’s Gillion Tidestrider do we really think this guy is going to live his entire possible 200 year lifespan? No. Because it’s Gillion Tidestrider. He’s going to die heroically in some way. Maybe it’s before Jay, maybe it’s after, idk. But he was too slow. That’s what happened he’s gotten older and one day he was too slow. 

Fnc? Im more leaning towards this au being one sided fnc on chips side but there is for sure a whole other kind of angst potential for fnc being an established thing in this au.

Phoebe

The Ferin!

A descendant of one of Jay Ferin’s cousins. (The Ferin’s feel like a big family too me, one with lots of cousins and twice removeds and stuff like that)

One of her parents, the not Ferin, was never too fond of the Ferins practices and so they tried to keep Phoebe distanced from them. (This included the name thing but they caved and allowed her to be called Phoebe May Ferin) And her Ferin parent agreed, despite having been in the Navy themself, that their family was a bit intense.

The family has pushed her to the point of joining the Navy academy, and her family wasn’t given much of a choice, so she was sent off.

She’s heard about the Riptide Pirate, through stories- but her favorite part is that one of his earliest companions was also a Ferin. She hears rumors that he’s still around, being spotted at various docks and Zero.

She decides to risk it and run away, looking for the Riptide Pirate. She escapes the evening the Champion is in the city as all attention will be on that. She panics when she realizes that the champion is also trying to run away.

She knows how to sail (small crafts) I feel like she’d canoe and paddle and know how to man like one of those tiny sail boats.

She has reddish hair but it’s a lot more mute than Jay’s. She also has darker eyes and a stockier build.

Class wise, she’s a fighter, I think. I’m not one hundred percent sure.

Edyn

Edyn is also still alive!

She’s “The Champion’s” grandmother

I think she never returned to the undersea, and ended up settling somewhere on the surface. She ended having kids. The Undersea found out about this, and at someone point sent some people up for them, and offered the kid (now an adult) money, status, community, as long as they returned to the undersea. All they want is for them to sire a child to be “the chosen one”, someone from the same lineage as the original. They like seed some distrust in their head and it turns into a whole argument with Edyn and they never speak again.

She hears about the Champion coming to All Port as part of some diplomacy delegation, several months before, and she really wants to see her granddaughter, get to meet her, so she ends up getting a job for the place they’re staying at as like a maid or an attendant or smth under a different name, and no one suspects anything of a sweet old lady. And they end up promoting her to serve the Champions room because a) sweet old lady b) shes a triton and a triton who has never been too the surface will probably be more comfortable around another triton.

Edyn gets to speak to Calypso and reveals first of all that she is her grandmother, and second of all that she is not actually the chosen one.

Calypso

The “Champion”!

The “Chosen One” who is not actually the chosen one! Just a person meant to replace Gillion as a religious figurehead after his “failure” she and most other people do not know this (they pushed Gillion under the rug and waited for people to forget about him before trying again)

She is a Tidestrider

Her thing is mostly the Elders trying to remain relevant in an increasing secular world.

Her training is less strict and started at a much earlier age than Gillion’s, and it followed a lot less combat and fighting and more religious and magical 

She’s literally just for ceremonially purposes, they keep harping about the prophecy and destiny but the elders all know it won’t come to pass for her. She does not.

She goes as part of a diplomacy thing to All Port and there meets Edyn. She had already been discontent with the undersea and uncertain of her place and she had thought about the possibility of leaving but Edyn finally sows the final seeds of distrust and she leaves- Edyn helping by creating a distraction and letting her slip out the window.

She realizes she has no idea of where she is going until she meets Phoebe. They put the dots together and once Phoebe understands she offers to bring Cal along with her, to join the Riptide Pirate. She follows.

She has a crown of coral that looks a lot like Gillion’s but it’s a crown that she can take on and off. It’s not real.

She has lighter hair than Gil and she has a more willowy build (she is also taller than he was)

Class wise, I thought about her being a paladin, but with there being less focus on combat and being a holy warrior, I think she’s a cleric (my heart is telling me she’s a cleric)

[pauking5]

Runaway 🏎️ Chapter 1

Pairing: Naozumi Hiyama x fem reader oc

Synopsis: There's no place for women in the world of racing. Let alone rally. Until you show up - the daughter of a racing legend who lost everything out of nowhere - ready to stir the pot of competition and throw fuel to Naozumi's fire, burning wild in more than just one way. Just how far will you go to take your rightful place in the world of rally, restore the team to its glory and change things for the better?

Genre: racing AU, enemies to lovers, rivalry, suspense, a whole lot of teasing, gender power games, dating in secret

Word count: 4.5k+

A/N: Here it finally is. I can't believe I got to write about one of my passions in this way. Though I love rally, getting the technicalities right was rough but I researched as much as I could on it so it feels like the real thing, though there might be some minor inaccuracies, not really affecting the story.

This one has been in the works for a good period of time and though this first chapter is short and fast-paced, there's so much more coming. Trust the process cause god knows I do. I hope I can make Naozumi justice and I can't wait for you to read the next ones. Enjoy lovelies.

Now Playing: Edge of Seventeen - Wuki

Next Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5

It's not about how fast you go.

It's about how long you go fast.

Fast like-

A knock reverberated against your helmet, interrupting the pre-race mantra before you even finished reciting it, bringing you back to the chaos prior to the race start.

Chaos you wanted to avoid at all costs.

Blinking your eyes open, you took in the smell of burnt rubber and the atmosphere, fully packed with the deafening roars of the crowds in the stands soaring over the music heard all the way to your station. Another voice joined in the noise, demanding your attention.

"Raiko, are you ready?"

Letting out an exasperated breath, you waved off whoever spoke to you and closed your eyes again.

"Give me a minute, will you?"

Okay, where was I?

It's not about how fast you go-

A drilling noise came from your right, annoying the living daylights out of you.

Ah, fuck it. Since we keep getting interrupted...

How about I tell you a little bit about me.

Name's Raiko Suruki.

Yes, that Suruki. Here we go again.

I'm the daughter of the famed Hiro Suruki, five times Japan World Rally Championship winner, consecutively if I may add.

Proud podium sitter for thousands of times.

Also kind of a living legend of the primetime of the rally world.

The same Hiro Suruki that started one of the best teams in the history of Japanese rally, snatching six more titles under his directory. WRC'S Golden Boy.

After his personal fifth title, he decided he wanted something more. Something that would fulfill him, beside his love for driving at the most insane speeds known to man and having his first and only child - that's me, in case you didn't know.

Anyway, without any second thoughts or doubts, he retired from the sport out of nowhere, changing the fireproofs for the laid-back team principal shirt and a cheap very 'dad' baseball cap. At barely 35 years of age, he took the biggest leap of faith of his life and Suruki Racing was born out of fuel and passion for rally.

He poured everything he had into the team and built it from scratch, taking it so high in his prime that everyone wanted a piece of it. Be it driving in a seat for the team, changing parts as a mechanic or simply having shares in it.

It was basically the shit. The pinnacle of rally in the whole of Japan.

The team became a national sensation. So many influential people, from mere businessmen to politicians, even foreigners were so interested in it and helping it expand. It genuinely felt like the only way for him was up, flying like a rocket towards the legends' hall of fame.

It went like that for a while. He was beaming with happiness, unable to understand where all that luck came from. But like everything good, it didn't last. Once he started to question it all, it was like a switch flipped inwards and it all fell to ruins.

Everything started going wrong.

All of a sudden, the cars started missing parts the night before races. They had engine failures mid-race in almost every stage, followed by DNF's on every scoreboard.

And those aren't even the most shocking things that happened. You name the disaster and it definitely happened to Suruki Racing at one point. Disastrous, life-changing, career-ending type of things.

The mess piled up more and more and it showed despite dad's efforts to stay afloat.

Contract deals with sponsors started falling through, losing funding for a lot of parts and investments in equipment. Then the drivers got fed up with the constant failed races and blamed the car or the team if they felt like it. They terminated their contracts way before their terms were up under the pretense that they wanted different things... which were not related to Suruki Racing. The mechanics chose to stay, well, a few of them anyways, but it wasn't enough.

The team ripped at the seams and slowly but surely ran into the ground and dad couldn't find at least one reason why it happened.

It was like a curse you couldn't get rid of and I saw it happen first-hand.

The late nights he would spend in the garage trying new parts that kept failing with every test on the car. The way he would go as low as begging the drivers to come back offering them money he didn't have because no driver, rookie or experienced, didn't even bat an eye once the name of the team was mentioned.

Lost, penniless and with a heavy heart, he had to watch the one thing he loved the most on earth rust little by little, no matter what he would do to prevent it.

Mom called it karma for his reckless racing days because as talented as he was, the road forgives no one. That you can be God's favourite and still lose everything. And he didn't want to understand that. He never did.

I was too young to help back then. Too young to understand what Suruki Racing meant to him. Too young to do the only thing I could to save it.

Until now.

So, let's try that again, shall we?

Name's Rai Suruki, driver for Suruki Racing 2.0.

Another knock to your helmet, echoing in your head louder than the first, brought you back to the real world for good this time. Mechanics rushed around you to finish the set up on the car before you were called up to take your spot in front of the race marshal, which from a quick glance at the scoreboard would be soon.

Looking to your left, you were met with a set of dull brown eyes, messy jet black hair, a funky moustache and an extremely creased forehead for his middle age, all belonging to your co-driver, Don Tanaka. He's another legend of the sport.

Former training coach for some of the current biggest teams in the WRC, with a CV of experiences surpassing most people that have been in rally for longer. On top of all that, he is an even bigger friend of your father's. When he called him up asking for an old favour to train you, he couldn't say no.

But if it was up to commenting, you'd say he was one of the biggest fools for giving up a lavish salary with so many perks for one favour, especially for your old fart of a father.

Driving with him was great, but training with him was hell on Earth.

"I was doing my mantra," you reasoned, trying to get him off your case.

"Your mantra sucks."

He is an absolute joy to be around, isn't he?

"Well," you turned to him in your seat with a tight-lipped smile, "you're the one choosing to be co-driver to a young adult at your ripe age of 40. If I was you I would've picked something more calming, like gardening."

Bringing his hand to his chin in thinking, he sat in silence for a moment before he spoke.

"That doesn't sound so bad right now," he went on trying to push your buttons.

"Oh, shush," you waved him off, turning back to the wheel.

If there was one thing he liked doing, it was keeping you in check by poking fun at you. He was like that one uncle you could always go to with your secrets or to ask for extra pocket money, but in return he liked to tease the fuck out of you for it. Every. Single. Time.

As much as you hated his antics, you did kind of owe him a lot. He was the one who caught your talent for racing early on, back when you would drive plastic mini cars made from scraps around the team garage like you had years of experience. A few drifting maneuvers around old tires done like a pro at the cool age of 8, and he was sold on you and your potential.

Amongst all the teasing and the pain of having to train like a man, you've spent enough time with him to know you could count on him for literally anything. He was the best co-driver you could ask for and you wouldn't want anyone else in that seat directing your fate for the world.

He knew what it took to annoy you greatly in order to deliver on the dirt track and prove yourself. Especially now, since you were the only woman on highly occupied male territory.

Racing is a man's world. With as many female advancements in motorsport as there were today, the majority of the community was still not convinced that a woman could drive better than a man or even compete alongside a whole grid of their species. They can regard you, acknowledge your existence, but they would never accept you.

Your father knew your entry to the championship would stir up a lot of unwanted attention, besides the fact that he was basically reviving a cursed team and you happened to be the poster face for it this time around. It sounded like a catastrophe in the making.

Frankly, you were ecstatic to get to drive an actual race car outside of the junior series and helping the team get back to its rightful place, restoring its deserved glory. But you knew it wasn't going to be easy work. Especially, since public enemy number one - the press - was going to try and tear you to sparkly shreds for a lot of reasons. An attack that they started before any official information was out.

A few months ago, when the announcement of Suruki Racing's comeback after ten years of inactivity hit the WRC, the media had a field day with it.

They criticized your father for being a nutjob that didn't know when to quit. They smeared Don Tanaka's name like he didn't make most of the drivers currently selling their dying papers. They even tried to get paid scoops from anyone involved with the team in the slightest.

But the team had one wildcard left to play before pulling the curtains for good and giving them the satisfaction that they ruined it.

You.

The press didn't know about you. No one in the other teams knew about you. Thanks to your father's extremely private life, no one even knew of your existence.

The only people that did were your team in the garage, from the mechanics to your PR agent.

Even walking into the circuit grounds this morning, long hair down over your shoulders, sporting the team gear in plain sight, no one batted an eye at you. Even if they did, they would think you were involved with technical or marketing - though even that was a rarity in this universe - or worse, just another groupie looking to get one of the drivers under your hood.

Your father wanted to give everyone a show they'll never forget by having you drive the first race in the calendar without a proper introduction. No car reveal. No interviews. No pre-race press conference. Just a car and its driver.

This way they would judge your driving before they actually got to judge you for being a woman at the wheel of a three hundred horsepower beast. He trusted you and your judgement on the track far more than the lousy press setting you up for fail. They would get a proper car show and speech after the race anyway.

It was out of the ordinary but that kinda summed up Hiro Suruki and his bipolar personality.

The distorted sound of a megaphone, followed by the voice of the race marshal called you to the start line.

"Car 7, Rai Suruki for Suruki Racing, you're up next!"

You could already see everyone turning their eyes to your station, booming cheers going quiet, turning into sharp murmurs.

Time to get this show going.

Rolling up your windows to block the world, you put the car in gear and drove to the start line, waiting for the green light. Looking out at the lines in the road ahead of you spotting the first hazard ahead, the nerves climbed up your spine faster than your engine could pump the pistons for pressure.

You prepared for this for most of your life, but if you were being honest, it all got a little too real now, sitting with your foot hovering above the gas pedal ahead of the moment that could make or break your career before it even started. The very moment that could be a step forward to restoring your father's name, getting the team back on track in a new age of rally racing. The moment for a change.

No pressure, right?

"Raiko," your co-driver called your name, but you couldn't tear your eyes away from the road, gloved fingers tightening on top of the wheel with a small snap. "Do you remember the course?"

"Yes."

"Good. All set?"

"I think so."

"Raiko, look at me."

"You're not my style."

"Raiko," his voice turned more serious and deep with warning. With another sigh into the small, cramped space for breathing your helmet provided, you turned to him.

"You've got this. Let's prove everyone wrong."

He was right.

Let's prove everyone wrong.

The race marshal started the countdown, walking from the front of your car to the side, each number in the count descending with your nerves. You loosened the hold on the wheel, stretched your legs to the pedals and let out a deep breath.

"3."

It's not about how fast you go.

"2."

It's about how long you go fast.

"1."

Fast like lightning.

"GO!"

A soon as the lights went green, you hit the throttle and took off into the dirt, raising the dust behind you. You skidded off to the side a little due to the gravel but you got control of it before anyone could notice.

Tokai was a pretty difficult course to rally depending on which stages got picked for the day. More forest terrain gave way to hard roads, receding in wheel control, gaining insane suspension pressure. This one was more of an open valley terrain, which was a bit safer, but the later you got the okay to race, the more dust and gravel from other drivers would pile up in front of you, making visibility dangerously low. The corners were way too tight and one second off from Tanaka's directions or a mishap of your footing could cost you and put your car on the sidelines.

"5 left over crest," Tanaka paced you for the upcoming hill and you prepared to release the throttle.

"1 left 100."

Wheels back on the ground, you resumed pressing the pedal as a hairpin portion came into view. The cloud of dust in front of you was chalky and you had to get through it before it raised higher. Putting the car in second gear, you got ready for the drift portion.

You had to be extra careful here. The mechanic in chief told you to go easy as the rear could send you into oversteer, throwing off the balance of the car and fuck up the race completely.

Listening to your gut, you waited for the right time then tapped the brake, cut the wheels and pressed the throttle, sliding across the portion. Loud cheers and whistles erupted as the crowd in the stands got up to watch you complete a perfect drift.

"3 right don't cut."

Reduce pace and prepare for a possible road hazard.

You slowed down and sure enough a bump in the road came up. If you missed that one and took it at 120 kmph, it would've projected you off the track, crashing the car hard into the rocky wall like a cereal box. Thankfully, you swerved around it, feeling the car lift off the ground on the left for a bit before it fell back down.

"6 right very long."

Hard left into a tight corner.

"Cut 8 left."

Tight corner requiring you to follow a straight line in the curb.

This was the last and worst corner on the track. You were lucky it didn't rain because this is where your car can skid off into the stands. You caught the straight line pretty fast, cutting a few seconds off your lap time without slowing down.

Following the rest of Tanaka's directions and focusing on the rest of the road, the race finished before you knew it. You liked the state you were in as you drove, mind clear of everything else because as soon as the adrenaline in your body decreased, your brain got bombarded by all kinds of issues.

Did I push the new suspensions too hard? God, I hope I didn't scratch the rear in the hairpin. Was my timing too off on that last corner? I should've practiced it more.

Driving back to your team's station, you sent all those worries at the back of your head and got out to watch the screen showing the score board just as it updated to display the new track times since you were the last to go.

1. Akira Shinkai - Sigma Racing Academy - 1.23.40

2. Naozumi Hiyama - Spica Racing Factory - 1.23.59

3. Rai Suruki - Suruki Racing - 1.24.25

"WE BAGGED THIRD PLACE?!" you yelled throwing off your helmet onto the car seat.

"WE SURE DID," Tanaka high fived you, beaming with energy just like you.

"That's 15 points on the first stage! Well done, lightning strike," he ruffled your hair as you snickered, nose scrunching up with a smile at the gesture you were already accustomed to.

"The car held up a lot better today than in testing. Maybe we lifted the curse," you wiggled your eyebrows at him at which he flicked your forehead. "Ow, what did you do that for?"

"Don't jinx it. We still have two more stages to go."

"But-"

Before you could say anything else, you were interrupted by angry shouting coming from the station next to you.

"I told you to not touch the third gear," yelled a strained voice.

You walked to the side of your station, peeking your head by the team banner, and watched the heated exchange between one of the drivers and his mechanic. Your eyes wandered to the car sitting in the middle, not one hand touching it for the regular post-race check up. From the different strokes of sky blue layered over stark white, the red and blue sponsor stickers and the carbon spoiler, you recognized it to be Spica Racing's.

"It doesn't matter now," shouted another voice, so annoyed and sure of themselves as if they owned the place. "I got a good lap record this time."

"What would you do if you had to retire in the middle of the race?" shot the mechanic, chastising the driver for being careless.

He got up in his face, towering over him though the other was much taller than him.

"We won't win if I don't attack!" he yelled back, throwing his hand in the air to make a point. "The moment I think of being scared I will lose. I won't make that mistake. So just do your job and fix the car."

With that final remark, he rounded the car to walk away from the station until he noticed you in the corner, now standing in full sight just at the line between your stations.

Quickly replacing the scowl on his face with what was probably his natural smirk, he came to you, stopping short of the barrier separating you.

"I don't do autographs, but for you I can do more than that," he added a daring wink, flashing his cocky smile at you.

Ew.

Taking a small step back hoping his vibes wouldn't envelop you, you uncrossed your arms from your chest and lifted an eyebrow at him.

"I don't want your autograph."

Taken aback at your response, he backed up slightly too and looked you up and down, taking in your deep blue and dark gold team fireproofs and the suit tied messily around your waist. The old, way out of fashion colours seemed to ring a bell.

"Suruki Racing...," he started doubtful, "the shithole that revived from the ashes? Are you a mechanic, a co-driver or something for them? If you are, why don't you jump ships? I wouldn't mind having you on my team instead," he finished his speech of intent with another shit-eating grin.

Who the fuck was this guy?

The audacity that wafted off him must definitely make him popular with the ladies.

"I don't think we've met before," you extended your hand out to him, curt and polite, like a normal person would do, introducing yourself.

"Rai Suruki, driver for Suruki Racing," emphasizing your role in the team so he got it through his head that you weren't some bimbo.

If you were, you'd make sure your fist decorated his face in pretty red tones before anything else.

He straightened back, smirk gone from his face in all sense of the word. It got replaced by some kind of curiosity. Looking between you and your palm hanging in the air he looked confused to say the least. He's heard about female racers before and seen some working in technical around the place, he's just never seen one stand against him on track.

Tired of being polite to someone who obviously has never heard about manners, you were about to retract your extended hand when he caught it in a firm grip and pulled it towards him, just holding it instead of shaking it. The move sent you forwards, almost barreling into him when your reaction response kicked in to steel you a safe distance away.

Maybe Tanaka's intense survival program pays off sometimes.

"So," he began and you wondered if he was about to say something intelligent or spew more shit with that mouth of his. He decided to choose the latter. "You're the one driving the Beetle dupe right there?"

Eh, come again?

Your eyes widened at him, looking at where his finger was pointed to confirm that he was pointing at your car and not anywhere else, then you whirled your head back at him appalled.

"B-Beetle dupe?!"

"I thought you were a guy."

Wouldn't be the first time I heard that one.

You took your hand back from his hold, wiping it on the sleeves of the suit hanging on your hips in the hopes that it would wipe off the disgust you were feeling too. It didn't but it was worth a try.

"It's the name," you replied through gritted teeth.

He backed up some more to scan you again, though more attentively this time, like you were some kind of illegality, cooked up from the pits of his imagination. You gave him your best front, hardening your jaw and rolling your shoulders backwards, proving you were more than a pair of boobs and a vagina, which was apparently his deranged first impression of you.

You deserved to be here. No amount of stares from the male specimen, surprised or with sinful intentions, could ever make you back down from this. This was yours to take on. No man could take this from you. Not him anyway.

So, you stared him down too, trying to find something else beside the extreme big dick energy and unsurmountable lack of scruples surrounding him. Struggling to see anything else but some disdain in the way he crossed his arms over his broad chest, a rich prick attitude from how he shifted on his legs like the world owed him golden lingos every time he breathed, and some leftover rage from the screaming match with his mechanic still present in the tick of his jaw, you let your eyes meet his own in conclusion of your very own analysis.

Yeah, there's nothing else in there. An ambulant douchebag. Just like I thought.

Flashing cameras were suddenly thrown in your faces, interrupting the intense stare-down between you. The press and some people, potentially fans of other teams by their t-shirts, surrounded you from every corner of the plastic barrier around the two stations, pushing each other over the race marshals that tried their hardest to keep them away. It wasn't long until they pushed over the barrier.

Too absorbed in the chaos, you didn't notice he leaned down to your ear but when you did, you stilled in your shoes, all blood draining into your pounding stomach. He spoke close and low, so only you could hear his words.

"Don't get too comfortable around here, rookie," he whispered, hot breath hitting the shell of your ear making shivers run down your extremely clothed spine. "Let's see how long you last in here because this season might just be your first and last."

Pulling away with another one of his smirks that were starting to get on your nerves, he regarded you once more before he walked off in amusement to his cool-down room, giving you a full view of his broad back.

Oh, just you wait -

A reporter shoved into the human barrier of orange and green safety vests reaching the railing, yanking it back and forth repeatedly until the poor plastic seal broke off, letting everyone else pool in around you.

Uh-oh. This wasn't good.

They packed around you like wolves on their prey, all shouting different things at you while shoving their big cameras, recording devices and phones in your face. The flashes blinded you, turning the world white and too bright for it to be natural light from the clouded sky above.

Your hands shot up on instinct to cover your eyes from the flaring lights as your ears focused on filtering through the blaring sounds of camera clicks and voices. Then the countless questions registered clear as day, hitting you like a truck at full speed.

"Are you Rai Suruki, daughter of Hiro Suruki?"

"Where did your father get the money to restart the team?"

"Is your car even going to last a season?"

"Do you consider yourself a challenge to the rest of the drivers?"

I guess that was it for mystery, dad.

Some of the other teams passed by the ruckus, sparing quick judgmental glances or sending disgusting sneers your way like that was the way they initiated your welcome ceremony at the gates of the jungle.

If this was any other series, you would've been so welcomed by the rest of the grid and treated somewhat better by the media and the fans. But this was the World Rally Championships.

Driving was dirty.

Talk was filthy, full of disrespect and unspoken trials of envy between each driver.

The press competed to see who would get your head on a pike first and parade it as the story of the century.

Respect was fought for, not earned.

It was a different game. One where you needed to play even if you didn't want to so in turn you wouldn't get played. Survival of the fittest truly.

You steeled your gaze, waving the reporters off and digging a hole through the crowd, successfully escaping away to your pit crew. Helping with packing up bits and pieces and taking your own stuff, you headed back to your team quarters, aware of the intensifying stares belonging to the rest of the teams still around their stations, talking about the first day in this season's calendar being an interesting one.

You had a feeling you and the team were the hot topic of conversation since you could feel their eyes searing deep holes into your back, burning hotter and doing more damage than flame-lit arrows aimed straight at you ever could. Tanaka wrapped an arm around you giving you his curled moustache smile, sympathizing with you.

Looking up at the sky darkening in mauve and pink, you let a small smile grace your lips. At least today was done. Your rally racing career has officially started. The team was back in business.

However, this first stage was just one of the many challenges still to come. Who knew what else was on the way?

As you trudged on the warm asphalt, warmed by the mid-spring warmth of March, there was one thing you knew for sure.

This is gonna be a long season.

Next

Thank you for reading :) As always leave a like, comment or reblog!

[bonefall]

BB!Firestar

[ID: Firestar from Warrior Cats with his tail on fire. The text reads, "Ssoen kafyar-ul ulnyams ssarshefpa," which is "Fire Alone will save the Clans" in Clanmew]

The man, the myth, the legend. Bringer of change, righter of ancient wrongs, ancestral patron of fire and of breaking bad habits.

Clanmew Name: Kafyarbabi, Kafyarshai [Wildfire + Heartbeating = Behaves like a wildfire.]

Alignment: ThunderClan

Relationships: Mates (platonic) - Sandstorm, Onestar (ex) Family - Squirrelflight, Leafpool, Cloudtail (nephew), Princess, Jayfeather, Lionblaze, Hollyleaf Mentors - Bluestar, Spottedleaf, Yellowfang Friends - EVERYONE. Graystripe, Deerfoot, Iceheart (Scourge), Brokenstar (post-death), Longtail, Cinderpelt

Chelford cats do not track paternity. It's not known who Firestar's father is, and it's probably not Jake anyway.

Firestar is aromantic. He is platonic co-parents with Sandstorm. He did not realize he was aromatic when he was seeing Onewhisker.

Other Clans consider him nosy. He's always trying to help out others, even when their sense of pride makes them hesitate to accept it.

Incorrigible. If he thinks he's right, you can't stop him. He also thinks it's important to make sure his Clan is well cared-for and doesn't give in to fear.

His personality is very passionate and outgoing.

Bonefall TPB:

To begin with, Rusty had to learn a new language to join the Clans. Clanmew and Townmew are sister languages but there was still a learning curve.

Spottedleaf was a big sister figure to him, she taught him how to connect with StarClan, what the rules are, and how to break them.

Bluestar left a deep impact on him as his mentor, she was the inventor of the mercy and grace which comes to define Fire Alone.

Like canon, he opposes Tigerclaw at every step once he realizes the cruelty within him.

Unlike canon, Better Bones is about having a strong anti-authoritarian stance, and to do that there's even MORE allies that Firestar connects with.

Oakfur, Stumptail, and Deerfoot in ShadowClan, and Mosspelt and Dawnflower in RiverClan are all cats who work directly with Fireheart, and were at times his Aftergathering buddies.

The end of Bonefall TPB is the battle with BloodClan, where he spares Scourge by defeating him honorably, ripping his collar off and forcing him to call a retreat.

The thesis of the arc is that Fire Alone can save the Clans because it's a radical change to the xenophobic, authoritarian culture of the Forest Four.

He lost a life in the process, from a huge slash across his chest and shoulder. It's meant to look like a mayoral sash, of sorts. His first deputy was Whitestorm, and after his death, his second was Longtail.

After the battle, he went a step further by bringing the collar back to Scourge as a gift of goodwill. He offered to uphold whatever he could of Tigerstar's Impossible Deal, and was shocked at the simple solution. BloodClan simply wanted things they couldn't get in Chelford; timber, glue, flowers, new types of foods they'd never tasted before.

Together, they forged a trade route that promised a bright future. During the destruction of the forest, Scourge eventually decided to lend his strength to the Clans for their Journey, eventually deciding to retire with them.

Scourge was eventually given the name Iceheart, so that he may live out his days with them in quiet peace.

Firestar's Quietus:

Brokenstar is the guardian spirit of the 5th tree of Fourtrees, which blighted and died after SkyClan's exile

His spirit cannot rest until SkyClan is safe. Firestar gets freakish dreams, Runningnose contacts him, and brings him to the Moonstone to figure this out.

It's there that he learns about Brokenstar trying to break into StarClan to make them do something. On learning that they just let an entire Clan get exiled, Firestar tells them to shove it and agrees to help.

Runningnose gives him a very emotional and significant acorn necklace which channels Brokenstar-- this item becomes important many arcs later.

Broken and Fire go back and forth a lot on what SkyClan should look like, what it needs, and how they should rebuild. The lesson learned is that SkyClan needed help, but can handle its own destiny.

Leafstar and the Warriors of SkyClan are not a Clan like the Forest Four. They will do things their own way, and that is a beautiful thing.

Brokenstar's final action is possessing Firestar's body (establishing the rules of possession for TBC later) to eradicate the rats; which were the earthbound, tormented souls of SkyClan's ancestors.

That's how Brokenstar and Firestar become the saviors of SkyClan

Bonefall Po3, Cruel Season, and Bonefall OotS:

In the episodic revamp of Po3, Firestar is aiding the other Clans through their struggles with the new environment, and helping to raise his grandchildren to be honorable cats.

So, his role is essentially as both the Clan's leader, and as Grandpaw Firestar.

His deputy is Brackenfur, who was promoted after Firestar and Brambleclaw agree that he isn't ready for deputyship yet after his lapse of judgement with Hawkfrost.

Brackenfur is killed towards the end of Po3 in the Battle of the False Eclipse, a trick from Sol, God of Chaos, a preview of the night that is to come where the dead can walk the earth.

Brambleclaw succeeds him.

The Fire Scene is in the in-between book between Po3 and OotS; Cruel Season.

It was started by Whiskernose of WindClan, aided and abetted by Thornclaw and Breezepelt, as an intentional distraction so they could get Firestar alone to kill him on the Dark Forest's orders.

He has one last big scene after his death; coming down from Silverpelt when Jayfeather summons StarClan warriors to fight the Dark Forest.

After winning a rematch with Scourge, Tigerstar finally gets the battle he's always wanted, and Firestar deals with him once and for all.

His Legacy:

He becomes known as the Patron of Fire and Breaking Bad Habits. He's invoked frequently during wet days when it's hard to start a cooking fire.

Firekin are renowned as a family of heroes, something that can cause a lot of pressure for its youngest members.

Fire Alone and Traditionalism are the competing ideologies by the modern era, with support of Thistle Law being kept very quiet.

[spoiled-fawn]

John Price; Rancher

Introduction to the AU

Let's meet our candidate!

Where is he from?

Deadwood, SD

Where does he live?

Pitkin, CO

What's his livelihood?

He came from a family of lawmen, but after being a sheriff for 10 years in a corrupted town, he moved to settle down and began his career in ranching, naming his business as the Bravo Six River Ranch.

What are his qualities?

John describes himself as a man who follows his morals and does what’s right. He’s been lonely, but having made a name for himself, he is a hard-working man who has focused on the quality of livestock he sells. Now, he wants to begin a family or at least share his love with his partner to spend the cold winters and beautiful summers with. He also stated he has a penchant for a good glass of whiskey and cigars, often treating himself after a rewarding day on the ranch.

He is vigilant, protective, and a true gentleman who respects traditions and the traits of being the man of the household. Since he does live in quite a small town, he is a provider for the townspeople for their meat while still holding to his oath of protection over the town. The photo he included is a shot of him smoking a cigarette while wearing his cowboy hat, and the one in the ad was of one during his sheriff days.

Biography

John Price was born in 1842 and was raised in Deadwood, South Dakota. He grew up in a family with a history of being lawmen and always felt called to follow in his ancestors' footsteps. As a young man, John became a deputy in the town's sheriff's office and quickly made a reputation of being a tough, no-nonsense lawman.

Over the years, John's reputation as a sheriff grew to legend in the area. He was widely respected and feared as a fair yet ruthless lawman. However, as time went on, he became increasingly disillusioned with the corruption in the judicial system. He saw criminals walk away free while innocent people were prosecuted for crimes they didn't commit. Feeling that the law had failed him, John decided to retire from his position as sheriff and move to the countryside in Pitkin, Colorado.

There, he purchased a ranch and found luck having a well-sized plot of land and named it Bravo Six River Ranch. He began raising livestock such as cattle, a few sheep, and even loved to have a few horses. It was still a tough life, to be sure. John had to work long hours, often amid cold weather and with little help. But found a sense of purpose and fulfillment in the quiet and peaceful town and mountain range that he had never experienced before. 

 He worked tirelessly to create a thriving business, soon earning a reputation as a skilled and reliable rancher. People came from far to buy his livestock, and he was known for both the quality and care of his animals. Despite his newfound peace, John never lost his passion for justice and sense of duty. He has remained a vigilant watchdog, ready to defend his community and friends against any threats that may arise.

John is a real man, a man who can provide for a family, a man who can protect his loved ones. He loves getting to know the people he protects and serves but craves companionship to keep his home warm, seeking someone who can be a helping hand on the ranch as he is tired of living alone. 

[bleakcrest]

The village of Bleak Crest has a bloody history. It started in 1968 with the death of Billy Daniels, a young man who fell to his death in a tragic accident atop Lover’s Point. It’s said that Billy haunts the village of Bleak Crest, with many people attributing various deaths, accidents, and disappearances to the ghost of poor Billy Daniels.

Billy is not the only local legend in town, as the recently deceased Devon Barrett kick-started his tremendous writing career in the early 90s with fictionalizations of some of these incidents from his time in Bleak Crest as a young man, although even Devon dared not touch the memory of Billy Daniels. His books have seen him win awards globally, and he’s said to have cultivated a new wave in crime fiction. Approaching 80, he retired late last year and made his way back to Bleak Crest to live out his golden years. Those golden years were unfortunately short-lived, as Devon passed from a heart attack just four and a half months after his return home.

Many have either been personally invited to attend the funeral and wake of Devon Horace Barrett, as someone he knew and cared about in life, as per his end-of-life plans, or someone who lives locally, who has been invited to attend to celebrate the life of a local celebrity. As a well-travelled man, it’s expected that attendees will be coming from all corners of the globe to pay tribute to his life.

SEASON 2 OF BLEAK CREST IS NOW OPEN.

APPLICATIONS CLOSE MAY 3RD.

INTERESTED IN A 21+ HORROR-BASED DISCORD ROLEPLAY SERVER? JOIN BLEAK CREST FOR ITS SECOND SEASON! BEFORE FILLING OUT THE APPLICATION: MAKE SURE YOU HAVE READ THE RULES.

ACCESS THE APPLICATION TEMPLATE HERE. SUBMIT YOUR APPLICATION HERE.

[sentimentalshitpost]

trans yuri thoughts?

so many

tagging the hive mind @otabekisautistic bc we've discussed the man, the myth, the legend at length and they are in my brain like a little worm 🪱

first - i think canon supports trans yuri which other people have discussed in greater detail. what particularly stands out to me: what he says to lila "If selling my soul is what it takes to win, I'll give you this body, no holds barred." i think that wording is really important, not "my body" but "this body" there's a disconnect/depersonalization between who he is to himself/inwardly versus who he is to others/outwardly.

and his reaction to otabek's "eyes of a soldier" line! he's used to (and depicted as not being fond of) referred to in traditionally feminine terms especially when it comes to his skating like fairy, angelic - even "prima ballerina" when the term for a male principle dancer is "primo ballerino" which like...less elegant sounding imo but still - this is really the first time he and his skating, a major marker of his identity, is referred to in terms that he doesn't just begrudgingly accept.

which all builds on his narrative concern about puberty, his body changing, and of course that impacting his skating

i do see the trans girl/femme argument, however, a puberty that involves growing boobs, hips, ect. is generally more detrimental towards skating - you're dealing with more mass making it harder to lift off so trans man/masc seems to make more sense given the broader context

there's more i could say on evidence in the canon/meta analysis, though i don't think i have anything particularly new or groundbreaking

ok, headcanons, the fun stuff; some of this is more grounded in the actual show and some of it is some of this is literally just bc i said so

within the context of the show it seems like yuri would have figured out his gender young to be able to compete in juniors with other boys - nikolai is his biggest advocate! does he get it 100%? no he wants yuri to have a normal life, and that means a certain thing to him having lived in soviet russia, he wants yuri to have an easy life that transness won't afford, but his priority - what he wants more than anything - is for yuri to be happy

i've seen a lot of people talk about yuri being like his mother, i think he's more like his grandfather (i think the traits of his mom are there, i think that annoys the shit out of him bc she's depicted as not being present and for obvious dysphoria reasons but,) stubborn, strong willed, ect.

nikolai cuts yuri's hair into that little bowl cut situation we see in the flash backs 1. it's convenient 2. it's cheap 3. it makes yuri happy

yuri picks out his name but his decision is heavily influenced by nikolai - nikolai tells him stories about the space race and the cosmonauts and little baby yuri is so fascinated by it all he names himself after yuri gagarin and takes on nikolai's patronymic

i think as he gets older, tries to find a balance between life and skating, he gets more into queer culture/politics and is primarily t4t (otabek is endgame and boy he is down bad)

he's an absolute demon twink in his 20's, a menace to society (viktor works double duty as his coach and twink handler, dude is struggling)

the more i've sat with the idea of trans yuri the less binary he's become (which may be me projecting my own gender feelings but also like look at him) i think he feels very strictly masculine as a teenager then as he gets older and more people view him as more masculine/more of a man in daily interactions he feels like he can interact with androgyny/femininity again - when it's not a career requirement it doesn't feel stifling

he's so hyped for top surgery and he's had to wait so long - he never really found it feasible to do it in the off season and taking time off isn't something he's willing to do even as he tries to create a work/life balance - it's the first thing he does after retirement and he's so convinced he's never gonna put on a shirt again. don't think he would be very good about following recovery rules though like getting enough sleep, sleeping propped up, not picking up pets, ect. despite knowing it'll help him in the long run

sorry this took so long!!! i was trying to articulate my thoughts without writing an actual essay which uh...🤷🏻

honestly there's more i could say - i've thought a lot about how his gender impacts his life, career, and relationships

also - i've been working on some variation of a post-canon trans yuri fic (on and off, it's become like 4 different things) since 2017 that i honestly don't know if i'll ever finish

that being said have some crumbs that i think will make it into some sort of work? hopefully?

The flight sucks. His legs are crammed into the smallest space imaginable — these airlines keep shrinking the fucking leg room, and the asshole who’s lent his seat back infront of him isn’t helping — there’s multiple layovers to look forward to, and he’s sat next to Viktor and Yuuri for the first leg. Normally, this wouldn’t be much of a problem, as much as he’s put up a front that he hates the geezers, and as much as he genuinely believes they’re almost more insufferable together than they are apart, he’s grown fond of the sickening pair and almost finds comfort in their company. But now his medication isn’t even touching the pain in his hand, he’s tired, and he’s pissed — at himself, at Otabek, at the whole goddamn world. He doesn’t want to see them hold hands and lean on each other for the next three and a half hours he wants some fucking peace; peace that he’s never going to have again.

[beevean]

Rank your top 5 Belmonts And if you have the energy/desire to do more: Rank your top 5 Castlevania games Rank your top 5 Castlevania tracks

5) Richter. I don't think much of the guy, but undeniably he is a very important figure, the symbol of the cracking of the Belmont legacy. At first, he's a hotblooded shonen young warrior, full of energy and life and will to fight... and then we learn that the will to fight is actually an issue, because after he defeated Dracula at age 19, he found no other reason to live.

4) Simon. Got higher up to the list in recent times <3 he's the Belmont, without any drama or obvious flaw. But I've come to like that about him, and admire his feats in Simon's Quest that show that he's not just a formidable badass, but a very noble man too, willing to even bury his foe out of respect.

3) Leon. He deserved none of that :( Leon is another Belmont mainly defined by his noble nature, perhaps to a fault (my good man why are you storming a vampire castle without a sword). His shining moment is, of course, him rejecting Mathias' absurd proposal: he may be full of anger against his former friend, to the point of swearing vengeance and dooming his descendants to a lifetime of fighting, but he also refuses to fall into the pit Mathias won't escape from, and has the perfect rebuttal for his inane logic and indirectly Dracula as a whole: "But defeating him... No, preventing others from suffering the same cursed fate... That was Sara's dying wish... Granting my beloved's wish. That is all I can do to prove my love to Sara. Eternity without her would be nothing but emptiness."

2) Juste. The golden child in deep denial :D It's a bit unfair that he gets reduced to "Alucard Belmont" and at most praised for his OP powers, but hey, he's not the only one. He has an interesting personality if you read between the lines, from his brashness that contrasts with his angelic looks, to how fervently he forces Maxim to keep Lydie in the dark. Also he's the king of interior decor :P

1) Trevor. He's the Sonic of Castlevania. He invented the Superpower of Teamwork™. He's kind and helpful to those he considers his friends and a terrifying menace if he thinks you're in his way (he won't ask first). He has the Legs of all time. His theme slaps an inordinate amount of ass. He's shaped like a friend and I love him <3

(a close runnerup would be Christopher, because I really like the concept of an older Belmont, who thought that could retire, nyooming to rescue his son from Dracula's influence <3 a prelude of things to come <3)

~

I was sure I had already ranked them, but perhaps I need to remake the list anyway...

5) Adventure ReBirth. Admittedly it's been a while since I replayed it, but I have fond memories of it as far as Classics go. It's simple, it's well designed, it's fun, it has kickass remixes (Aquarius <3) I wish it wasn't so obscure because I think it's the best entry point for those interested in the genre.

4) Portrait of Ruin. Y'all sleep on this title unfairly. Jonathan and Charlotte are very fun to play as, the gimmick of the paintings allows for new locations rarely explored in the series, it has an interesting mission system that makes the game more fun to master, and an OST that seriously deserves more love.

3) Curse of Darkness. Yes, it's noticeably flawed, from the mindnumbing level design to the obtusity of Forging. It's not a game I can pick up whenever I want, the only reason I can't put it in first place. But aside from that, it honestly feels like it was designed just for me and my tastes lmao. The fighting/crafting/raising loop is incredibly addictive and reminds me of the Sonic Adventure games <3 and ofc, as you could tell, I'm in love with the characters and story :P

2) Symphony of the Night. The one, the myth, the legend. Describing it feels like a waste of time. It's a timeless classic for a reason. It may not be perfect, but much like Super Metroid, I think the atmosphere is so well crafted that it pulls you in regardless of any issues you might have. It's an experience to be had.

1) Harmony of Dissonance. Oh yeah. This game is stupid fun to me. I just pick it up and play it to wind down. The ability to dash in both directions makes it a 10/10, then you add the spells that are fun to experiment with, the breakability, the COLORS FEEL SO RIGHT, the eerie music (yes it's good! it's good!!! fight me!!!!), Maxim Mode...

~

I was also sure I had this list... how could I pick only 5 tracks from this giant, beautiful repertoire...? D:

5) Chapel of Dissonance. Unlike many of the tracks in this soundtrack, this one is perfectly hummable and sweet. It fits the beautiful sky like a glove, and it may subtly reference Divine Bloodlines which is a stroke of genius :)

4) Lost Painting. SoTN abunds in jaw-dropping tracks, but this one feels uniquely magical, and it plays just in the right areas of the castle (a chapel, a library, and icy caves). It sounds like a sad lullaby sung to Alucard, and I hear reluctance to venture further and fight.

3) Garibaldi Courtyard. I have no clue why this mundane area in the game has music that brings me to tears. Similar in atmosphere to Lost Painting and Fog-Enshrouded Nightscape, but with CoD's more modern sound. I don't know how to put into words the profound sadness I hear here.

2) Dracula Battle (SCIV). I cannot gush enough about the genius of this track as the final boss theme. It never gets faster, or drop a harder beat: you only get these long strings and this complex arpeggio for an unsettling atmosphere. I said back then: "It sounds like you're quietly resigning yourself to your fate. You will die. But that's alright. He will die too."

1) Leon's Theme. This could pass for a classical piece. It's perfect in every way. You can almost touch Leon's sorrow and anger - you can hear the fingers pressing on the piano! It gets you pumped to reach the end of the game, and you get to grieve with Leon for the terrible night he's going through. Special shoutout for the part at 1:34 for sounding like the aforementioned Dracula theme.

[themculibrary]

Avengers Reacting To Their Movies Masterlist

A Beautiful Journey (fanfiction.net) - Aragorn II Elessar T, 566k

Summary: Watch-it fic. In 2035, members of the Avengers, X-Men and Fantastic Four bring forth the Avengers, Scott Lang, Hope van Dyne, T'Challa, Nick Fury, Maria Hill, Pepper Potts, Aunt May and Loki from the past to watch the first three phases of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

All the Days of our Lives, Phase 1 (ao3) - ElrondsScribe pepper/tony, jane/thor, clint/laura, ian/darcy, wanda/vision, sharon/steve, bucky/natasha N/R, 41k

Summary: An Avengers-watch-their-own-movies fanfiction. I know it's been done before, but I wanted to try it with a more expansive audience. In addition to all the Avengers (both retired and active) you'll find Nick Fury, Maria Hill, Laura Barton, Betty Ross, Helen Cho, Jane Foster, Darcy Lewis, and even Ian Boothby.

Post Captain America: Civil War. AU, obviously. All ships in the tags. Please do enjoy! Warning: there will be a bit of language.

First up: Captain America: The First Avenger

Assemble (ao3) - Stand_with_Ward_and_Queen T, 201k

Summary: Ten years after Thanos’ defeat, Clint Barton, with help from Stephen Strange and a SHIELD agent named Leopold Fitz, brings the Avengers, plus Peter Parker, Scott Lang, and T'Challa, from a few months prior to The Avengers Civil War to show them the future so they don’t repeat the same mistakes.

Avengers Watch Ant-Man and The Wasp Quantumania Trailer (ao3) - SpiderWidowFam88 scott/hope, hank/janet, pepper/tony, mj/peter T, 5k

Summary: [Part 2 of Avengers Watch Stuff]

After Watching the events of No Way Home, the Avengers have some time to cool off and have a chat before their host plays another assortment of clips of their future.

This time, it's about the rise of a new villain and the adventures of the lovely Scott Lang.

Avengers watch Captain Marvel (fanfiction.net) - Roxas Itsuka T, 30k

Summary: Called forth by an unknown being. The Avengers are made watch a movie about a hero who came not long before them. Fury and Goose present also. No pairing.

Avengers Watch Spider-Man No Way Home (ao3) - SpiderWidowFam88 mj/peter, pepper.tony T, 71k

Summary: The movie left me feeling so heartbroken for our favorite spider kid so this is how I'm dealing with it.

Expect everyone being protective of Peter and desperately wishing they could be there to kill all of his problems.

Cough* cough* Natasha...

It's exactly what the title says.

They watch Spider-Man No Way Home

bro (ao3) - hunkahulkaaburningfudge G, 64k

Summary: The Avengers watch their future.

A Hawkeye watch-it fic.

bus boy (ao3) - hunkahulkaburningfudge clea/stephen, kate/america G, 40k

Summary: The Avengers watch their future.

A Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings watch-it fic.

Film Reels (fanfiction.net) - Little-miss-laughs-alot G, 19k

Summary: A stack of film reels sent to the Avenger Mansion will be intriguing for some, but for one, it will be difficult. Reliving Steve's past- before and after Captain America came to be, they get to know exactly who the kid from Brooklyn really is. Now Complete!

pizza balls (ao3) - hunkahulkaaburningfudge wanda/vision, kate/america, clea/stephen G, 58k

Summary: The Avengers watch their future.

A Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness watch-it fic.

Rewriting The Way This Story Ends [IM1] (ao3) - bookaholic4ever G, 49k

Summary: An Avengers watch the MCU fic. Will be Tony Stark centric. The OG 6 and Bucky, Sam, Wanda, Vision and Rhodey are also included. Can the Avengers watch and learn from their mistakes to protect their earth and in turn the universe from a madman? Read to find out. Set after Civil War and Homecoming but before Infinity War.

In this installment they are watching Iron Man.

stupid pigeon (ao3) - hunkahulkaaburningfudge layla el-faouly/marc G, 67k

Summary: The Avengers watch their future.

A Moon Knight watch-it fic.

The story behind the man: Iron Man 1 (ao3) - Anothershadow24 bruce/tony T, 34k

Summary: A year after the so called 'Civil War', the six original avengers, plus Sam, Wanda, Vision, Fury and Hill, get locked up on a room to watch a stack of films about one Tony Stark.

Watching- Iron Man 1 (ao3) - Schayisgay pepper/tony T, 28k

Summary: Up First- Iron Man 1.

The Avengers and Co watch their resident Genius, Billionaire, Playboy, Philanthropist as he becomes Iron Man.

Watch my life, feel my pain (Do I deserve it?) (ao3) - Wise_writer_girl wanda/vision, steve/natasha, sam/bucky, bruce/thor, pepper/tony T, 175k (WIP)

Summary: The Avengers wake up in a theater, the Theatre of Judgement, all from different times in the MCU storylines. The Judgement Spirit, Justice, is forcing them to watch WandaVision clips. If Wanda has suffered enough, Justice will bring Vision, Tommy and Billy back to life. But things don't seem so black and white when the loved ones of the other heroes are brought in as well. A deal must be made: the reveal of the darkest, most embarrassing and most painful moments of their stories in exchange for just a moment longer with someone they've loved and lost. Can the Earth's Mightiest Heroes cope with their best-kept secrets being exposed?

For the sake of those they love, they're going to have to.

[vash-in-the-void]

I’m having thoughts about Vash outliving all of his loved ones again

And what if after the girls die, he travels the planet, sees humanity rebuild itself and even thrive

And eventually he becomes a university professor because with the world calming down that’s where he believes he can do the most good

He teaches plant sciences (and physics because he’s a nerd)

All of the notes (expanded) under the cut because I believe it’s unreadable

General Vash notes

* Professor of plant sciences in December

* Lives in a small village just outside of Dec - it takes him about an hour to get on campus everyday but he gets nervous about living in a big city also he finds the travel relaxing

* Friends with a fellow professor (a medical doctor who may or may not be the reason Vash is getting regular check ups now and taking care of his body)

* Uses a fake name but lets his students call him (prof.) Vash - he claims it’s because there already is one prof. Thompson on the Uni but he also just likes when people use his name

* Tired [TM] (I imagine his energy levels have gone down with the almost depleted plant powers and with all the scars he does suffer with some level of chronic pain - sometimes uses mobility aids to get around)

Appearance notes

* long hair (I imagine the texture is damaged but he already tried every product and conditioner and it doesn’t take - his hair is just fried, but at least it’s soft to the touch)

* wonky bangs because he let the Thompson kids play with his hair and one of them had scissors

* cross necklace

* Meryl’s earring (she gave him one and wore the other because they’re Yuri like that)

* turtleneck & suit pants because he is going for that professor fizz

* suspenders and a cowboy belt because he is still an embarrassing man

* red cardigan

* tinted glasses in his pocket - he doesn’t use them as much indoors

Personal lore

* after the girls got older (too old to chase the stampede) they settled and got married (Meryl had a hard time retiring and would still write for the local newspaper otherwise she’d go mad with boredom)

* Vash would stay in touch - officially taken into the Thompson family - he would visit often but never stayed long enough

* similar relationship with Livio and the orphanage

* Livio died first (it was expected but still devastating)

*after Meryl died and joined Milly, Vash put some distance between him and the Thompson family (now they know him as a distant but beloved relative and a very few of them connect him with Vash the Stampede)

General world lore

* takes place about 200 years post canon

* humanity has recovered, adapted and even thrive in some places (we moved on from the Wild West to a sort of enlightenment period for Gunsmoke)

* Vash the Stampede has faded into a legend status - it is heavily debated how true the whole thing was

[nckxstne]

Walking through the picturesque streets of Cardinal Hill, you find Nicholas Stone, the 38 year old Editor In Chief & Journalist at The Cardinal Chronicle originally from London, UK. Living alongside them in such a small town, you know that they're charming and blunt, but what you might not know is that they are a witch, and that they’re hiding something… ― Oliver Jackson Cohen, homosexual, man, he/him. (TW: Injury, Alcohol)

Stats

Name: Nicholas Edward Stone

Faceclaim: Oliver Jackson Cohen

Gender & Pronouns: Cismale, he/him.

Age: 35

Birthday: August 10th, 1955

Occupation: Editor-In-Cheif & Journalist @ The Cardinal Chronicle

Neighborhood: Lower Cardinal

Time in Cape May: Seven Years

Hometown: London, UK

Favorite Song:

Personality:

Zodiac Sign: Leo

Positive Traits: Intelligent, Creative, Charming.

Negative Traits: Reckless, Blunt, Moody.

Hobbies: Sleeping, Drinking, Sleeping more.

Likes: Late Nights, Vodka & Stormy Weather.

Dislikes: Early Mornings, Cheap Clothes & Classical Music.

Biography:

Nicholas was born into a publishing empire. His great great great grandfather started one of the biggest tabloids in England which meant Nicholas grew up not wanting for anything.

He was rich, but would never say he was spoilt. He'd call it comfortable, as if he didn't grow up with the latest toys, nicest clothes and family vacations some could only dream of.

The middle child of five Nick sometimes struggled for attention. He used to do all he could to stand out, which often meant getting himself into trouble in school, or causing havoc at home, but his parents failed to notice their sons outbursts, leaving it for the house staff to deal with.

His parents never kept their witchy lineage from their children, at the same time not telling them the whole truth either. They'd tell tall tales of how their great grandfather acquired his riches through a magic spell, or how their aunt used a love potion with every single one of her seven husbands, all ending in tragedy, but Nick found it hard to believe any of these stories.

That was until his twelfth birthday. During an extremely heated argument with his family's trusty and long serving butler Reginald over not letting the young Stone boy watch The Graduate, a film he deemed far too inappropriate for Nick, Reginald was flung across the room, breaking a leg and dislocating his shoulder.

Fortunately, all staff employed by the Stones were aware of the dangers. So before even calling for an ambulance, Reginald called Nick's father who explained to the boy that the family legends were a little more than just that.

Nick discovered that so far he was the the only Stone child to exhibit any ability, but was advised by his father to not hold this over his siblings too much, and Nick try his best not too, which became harder to do the older he got.

He was a bit of a wild child, feeling invincible thanks to his newfound abilities. He'd often get intro trouble, throw large parties whenever his parents were away, and show off his tricks and spells any chance he got, always managing to convince whoever he showed that it was basic street magic.

He used his abilities for all manner of things, and the more he used them the stronger they got. The only time they ever caused him any trouble, was when Nick got angry. Then it became a problem for the Stone family's legal team to try and cover up any damage to property or person he may have caused.

Nicholas' most destructive outburst happened when he was twenty five, and it came time for his father to retire and hand the reigns of the company down to one of his sons, Nick of course assuming it to be him. It was not.

He lost it. Shattering the windows of his father's office and causing the whole building to tremble. A level of power neither Nick, or his father knew he had.

He soon calmed down and settled for a high paying job writing for the paper, specialising in scandal and gossip, quickly becoming famous in his own right for the juicy and elicit articles he'd publish.

He continued to live a lavish lifestyle. Frequenting the most expensive and exclusive bars and clubs in London, always landing himself with a massive hangover and a story for his articles the next day.

His stories soon got him into some trouble, and unable to bippity-boppity-bullshit his way out of the mess he made, he left England and headed for the states. Travelling around for a little while until he blew into Cardinal Hill one day, ready to wake up this sleepy little town.

Mysteriously just as he was looking for a job, an opening came up in the local newspaper, a high position, not as well paying, but he convinced himself he didn't need such an insane pay check in this little town, he quickly got back into it, sticking to what he knew best: scandal and gossip, and in a quiet town like Cardina Hill, that was a little harder to find but he knew he'd find a way.

Extras:

Other Stuff(Head Canons):

His greatest strengths ability wise are in telekinesis, elemental control and object enhancement. He sucks at making potions so rarely tries, and has been trying to master divination for years with little in terms of results.

He hasn't been back to England since leaving almost seven years ago, still worried his past mistakes are there waiting for him to return.

Secret momma's boy; calls his mother once a week, she also sends him money and food regularly since he missed British snacks and despises most American foods.

Grew up quite well spoken(posh af) but as he got older he started to speak with more of a South London twang to his voice, much to the annoyance of his prim and proper parents.

He's an excellent liar. One of the few skills he has that doesn't require the use of his abilities. He can lie and make you believe it with ease and he's been known to lie about several aspects of his personal life to avoid talking about it, or revealing too much.

He's extremely protective over the few loved ones he does have, if you're close to him he'll do anything he can to protect you, though he'd never admit he cares.

Can come across charming and friendly and he is, but most people should be extremely careful when it comes to trusting Nick Stone.

He writes gossip. The things he writes aren't necessarily true, but he sees himself as the boss at the small little newspaper so doesn't care if what he writes is completely factual, which has landed him in hot water in the past.

Has probably written something about your muse in the past tbh.

tbc.

Wanted Connections

Enemy - Nick is a pretty dislikeable guy. Maybe he wrote an article on you, or an article you think was about you(he's smart like that, no names) or he was just an ass and theres some mutal beef there.

Ex whatever - He's an ass, but he's also a hopeless romantic, and secretely needy af. This could be someone he dated, went on a date with, met on tinder, met from tinder, met off of grindr, whatever.

Bestie - Someone who knows the real Nick(or at least most of him), maybe someone he has opened up to in the past, since he never talks about his life back home, but when he's drunk, it's hard to get him to shut up.

ANYTHING.

[wuxiaphoenix]

Movie Review: Hercules (2014)

Hercules (2014), with Dwayne Johnson playing the title role. I missed this one when it first came out. In my defense, 2014 was not a good year for me. Which might be saying the hurricane was kind of gusty... anyway. I’ve seen it now, and this one deserves to be spread around! Five out of five for adventure, creative interpretations of myths to more “legends”, and some really good battle buddies/found family stuff.

On a more sobering note - if you want a good look at how sociopathic personalities work, how good they are at fooling people, being convincing, and terrifying whole masses of others into going along with them? The last third of this movie will make that very clear. These are some Very Bad Guys, these villains.

(And we get to see them violently taken out. Good. Good. We need more of this!)

Ahem. Yes, I may be on a bit of a sword and sorcery, Conan the Barbarian-style go for the gold and killing bad guys kick at the moment. Too much politics screwing up Real Life for all of us right now; a good escapist fantasy where there are good guys and bad guys and we know who makes a thump as they hit the floor, is definitely called for.

So. Idea is that the Labors of Hercules are real, but... some of the “monsters” were exaggerated. And Hercules is not a lone fighter, but the leader of a team of skilled mercenaries. Which fits some of the stories I’ve read - he was not just a berserker, he was a guy who could think!

The group leans into the stories, and spreads them wilder and larger-than-life on purpose - what better way to break the morale of, say, a bunch of pirates than to make sure they know they’re fighting a demigod? (With well-armed and concealed allies to take out bad guys in large bunches.) And then they get hired to defend a country against a man who seems to be allied with demons....

Here’s where, if you only got a glimpse of the trailers first, you might skip this movie. The trailers seem to lean into “the gods are unleashing monsters on humankind!” The movie? It’s more about humans being monsters. And humans dealing with the aftermath of violence they’ve dealt or witnessed. Tydeus, in particular, has been so traumatized he never speaks... but he is fiercely loyal, Hercules looks after him and plans to take him along when he retires to a place no one will know him or his reputation anymore. Tydeus also has a nice detail in his scenes; he is a reflexive, vicious fighter with two axes in combat. So when he charges someone for a spar (or to test the strength of a shield formation), he drops the axes first.

This is a good movie for showing how people who are good at violence, who have dealt with it large parts of their lives, are also responsible and careful with that violence. The people who aren’t, are Bad Guys.

It’s also a good tale for reminding us all that while monsters may kill you, people who crave power are even more dangerous. Be prepared!

The scenery and battle tactics are also a treat. Unprepared soldiers get wrecked. Trained ones do much better. And the fire and derring-do at the end... well, you can see more legends springing up about the gods getting involved, especially given the bad guy was a family-murderer and Hera’s dominion being directly affected!

Yeah. This one is good; planning to get a DVD when I can. In the meantime - it’s up on YouTube!

[brighteyedbushybrowed]

Hellooooo, I hope all is well. Anyways, I need cowboy papa's content. I saw Papa IV in the cowboy hat and respectfully passed away...well i hope you have a lovely day 💕

When I tell you I went feral at the sight of the cowboy Copia photo from one of the recent rituals, I truly mean it. Your boy was here hooting and hollering like straight men do at football (calm down straight men reading this, it's a joke. A funny haha). Anyway, I know very little about cowboys and the only cowboy media I've consumed are that Horrible Histories song about cowboys and that one episode of Doctor Who where the Eleventh Doctor, Amy, and Rory went to that town in the wild west or smth and there were cowboys and an alien dude and a robot man trying to kill the alien. So these headcanons may not be very good but I'll do my best!! As such, this will be laid out differently to my usual headcanons because I don't really have any cowboy headcanons? It's mostly my thoughts so sorry about that aslidNZ

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐨 gives me... maybe sheriff vibes? I think in cowboy times (is that what we call them? I'm full of sugar rn so my brain is going faster than me) Primo would be the town sheriff. He wears that star badge with pride, has a beautiful Clydesdale horse that he rides on during his rounds through the town, and his fellow cowghouls are never far behind on their own horses.

𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐨 is kind of like an urban legend. He's almost like a specter, always silent and never staying long enough to be noticed by a larger group of people. People think he doesn't even exist at first, telling exaggerated tales that make him out to be a terrifying being that haunts the town. In reality, he's the sheriff's brother and he just passes through to pay Primo brief visits and check that he's not pushing himself too hard in his old age. It's when Primo retires that he becomes a permanent fixture in the town and serves as like a deputy sheriff.

𝐓𝐞𝐫𝐳𝐨 is the cowboy that lives at the edge of town and is also the best paying customer in the tavern. He has a great many admirers and has seduced a number of the townsfolk to the point where he'd get chased out of town if his oldest brother wasn't the sheriff. His nickname is the Casanova Cowboy. He also has a little rose brooch on his jacket and does this little sleight of hand magic trick thing where if he's interested in someone he'll go up to them and make a rose "magically" appear from behind their ear before tucking it into their shirt and pressing a kiss to the back of their hand.

𝐂𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐚 is a cowboy that the townsfolk don't know all that much about. He's much newer to the town than the others and as such there are many rumours about him but nobody has been able to distinguish between fact and fiction when it comes to him. He has his own little group of cowghouls that accompany him on errands. He's also been known to catch rats for the townsfolk and raises them as pets until either they die or someone wants to buy one off him as a pet for their children. Aside from that, the only thing people actually know about him is his reputation for being endlessly kind with a nervous disposition.

[shadowmaat]

Cozy Fantasy

Travis Baldree introduced me to a subgenre I never knew I needed: cozy fantasy. Low-stakes stories set in mild locations that end more or less happily.

Legends & Lattes is Travis's book. I first heard about it on twitter and between the premise and the cover art I preordered it, read it when it was out, and fell in love. It's about an orc barbarian lady named Viv who retires from adventuring to open a coffee shop and the misadventures (and love) that ensue as she tries to find her way in a new and unknown market. Helping her out are Tandri, a succubus who excels as manager (and stealing Viv's heart); Thimble, a ratkin culinary genius; and Cal, a faux-grouchy hob who works wonders with wood. The stakes are low, but the fun is not. A++ highly recommend AND there's a second book coming out that's a prequel to this one and features a foul-mouthed ratkin.

House Witch by Delemhach is about a young man whose magic centers on hearth & home. He sets himself up in the royal kitchen expecting to keep a low profile, but soon finds himself in far over his head, saving lives, and cooking the most incredible meals anyone's ever eaten. It's broken into three books, but each picks up right where the last left off, so it could have worked as one. The characters are well done, the drama builds at a steady pace, and while a lot of serious stuff happens it never really loses its sense of fun. There are a couple of places where the author gets overly-enamored of puns and getting a little too silly, but it's still a good story.

Coffee, Milk, and Spider Silk by Coyote JM Edwards is a short story and TBH it kinda suffers from that. The premise features a drider retiring from guard service to open a coffee shop. I've seen some unfavorable comparisons to L&L but while the author acknowledges it as an influence, it's still its own thing. I just wish there'd been more time to expand on the characters. The emo teen dryad with accident-caused disabilities is a whole story on her own, and I would have liked to know more about the single mom minotaur who hides her anxiety behind a wall of cheerfulness. Even the protagonist Gwen feels a little hastily sketched. It's still a fun, easy read, but I feel like it needs more. More stories set here or a future expansion to a full-length novel.

The Tea Princess Chronicles by Casey Blair are good. Some heavy plotting, but still light enough to qualify. They center on a princess who chooses to run away from her family rather than get shoved into a convenient box of their choosing. She comes to rest in a tea shop and settles in to study to become a tea master. Lots of drama interferes, of course, and there are smugglers to catch, a lost people to rescue, and a kingdom to save. There are secondary trans characters and secondary queer romances as well.

The Bookshop & the Barbarian by Morgan Stang was not written for me. I only got a few pages in before giving up in frustration, though I may try again later. The premise should be fun: woman on the run sets up shop in a cozy little bookstore and then hires a barbarian woman to help drive out the encroaching goblins. It's low stakes, funny, and has a sapphic romance, but for me it was trying way too hard to sound clever. I prefer straightforward storytelling to meandering narratives that include snide commentaries on everything. That's a me thing, though, and might suit other readers better.

Can't Spell Treason without Tea by Rebecca Thorne is another good sapphic romance about a guard for an evil queen who runs away to the borderlands and opens a tea/book shop with her head-of-the-mage-guild girlfriend. Lots of good plotty stuff and maybe more angst than your average fluff, but it's fun and features a cozy setting with locals who are eager to help. Should be first in a series, since the queen is definitely not going to let them get away with this.

I'm still watching for more and if anyone wants to add to the list feel free.

Also, now that I've delved into some cozy fantasy, I'd love to see more cozy scifi. Coffee shop/bookstore AUs are a delight.