#( never let me talk about my dog i'll literally never shut up )

[mywifealhaitham]

pre release boothill relationship headcanons!!!

a/n: I'm fiending off crumbs... I've wanted to read some x reader of him but theres none so I gotta write it myself. I hope the other 4 boothill fans enjoy

warnings: gn!reader, like 2 gendered pet names (pretty girl/boy), most of this is written with bias because we don't have alot to go off, obviously written prerelease, when we actually get content of him I'll definitely be rewriting

LEAKS AHEAD!!!

bc: Valentine_DD_ on twt

- Boothill is described as a righteous person if his bottom line doesn't get crossed, so he definitely treats you good. probably more on the protective side when it comes to you, he's probably not afraid to use his gun if someone is threatening you.

- and believe me he's intimidating. from his overall tough and "unruly" cowboy look to his mechanical body it leaves enemies just a little challenged. he lowers his voice too and probably has a more fierce look in his eyes too. after any threats have been delt with he probably turns to you and turns into the sweetest thing ever, a wide grin across his face and his hands on your cheeks peppering you with small kisses.

- Its said he's a bit sophisticated due to his experiences so I'd like to imagine sometimes he charms you with facts and details about other planets or just genuinely sharing some tips and tricks he's picked up from other cultures. he's also a person who can get along with others pretty well but he can easily give strangers an impression he's selfish and is a bad person.

- again this kinda feeds into he's basically you'd guard dog... but I mean who wouldn't want to be saved by a handsome and sweet cowboy. despite his unpredictable personality and looks he's a huge gentleman for sure. always opens doors and pulls out chairs for you, makes sure your behind him and okay if any danger approaches and practically listens to your every command (lowkey giving off my girl and I don't argue she tells me to shut up and I do)

- one part I'm so excited to see is what they mean by he's illiterate and using metaphors. it's probably just him using slang but it's still kinda cute. I feel like his cheesy and strange metaphors turn into pick up lines when talking to you. perhaps he'll pull a "did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" or something cheesier. Definitely a huge nickname guy, almost never uses your real name. I'm guessing he'd use stuff like doll, sugar, baby, pretty girl/boy and more teasing names. heavy on doll and sugar and just imagine him saying it in a deep southern accent... 😍 kicking my feet. also I imagine he loves making you giggle by not cursing (because he literally cant) and normally he'd get pissed if someone laughed at him like that if it's you he doesn't mind at all.

- that's pretty much it for like analyzing the leaks I saw but now the stuff up ahead is just bias yapping because I always project

- HE DEFINITELY IS A HAND KISSER. greets you by getting on one knee, holding his hat to his chest and kissing your hand. makes eye contact with you too and does that toothy smirk of his IM SWOONINGGG

- maybe he's a dancer! pulls you into his arms and places his hat on your head when a good song plays in taverns. even if your clueless on any type of dances then he'll pull you along to the beat whispering Instructions in your ear.

- gets so lovesick when drunk it drives everyone mad. any folks he's sitting with at a bar gets a whole speech on his wonderful beautiful darling who he owes his live and would happily die by their hand. and may God save you when you come pick him up because he'll be all over you. Immediately he wraps a arm around your waist as he slurrs his hello as he proceeds to tell you he loves you like 40 times. besides the mass amounts of kisses you'll receive once you both reach a private spot he let's some feelings that he might be too shy to share normally, holding your face as he calls you his pretty girl/boy and how he's so lucky to have you.

- honestly not the best for cuddling however unfortunately he needs to cuddle you to sleep so goodluck! his metal body isn't completely uncomfortable it's just cold alot. he tries to get around this by literally preheating himself with blankets before you go to bed.

very bad boothill brainrot atm... only a few more weeks until we get official content 😭 everyone hold hands we got this

here's the actual leaks if anyone is curious ^_^

[oukabarsburgblr]

How i envision my ocs community is literally around haikyuu ppl bc their the only anime ppl ik everyone and are like so realistic/funny

Lets say daisou haru mn are in another team and they go to training camp or wtv and trust everyones getting into a fight.

-

"Who the fuck did your hair?"

Yamaguchi, who was innocently lining up for food at the mess hall during dinner was taken aback by the sudden proclamation to his left. "What...?"

"Oh no no I was talking to my friend over here." Haru waved it off, hiding his panicked face underneath a blank expression as he pulled Sousuke to the side. "Oh my fucking god did you see him? Who the hell is their barber?"

The redhead peeked behind them to see the first year from the other team, Karasuno?, staring at them while looking like he was about to burst into tears.

"You mean seaweed? Hah! You haven't seen the bowlcut yet." Sousuke scoffed, remembering the prideful first year from Shiratorizawa. "A bowlcut?? In this day and age??"

"Yeah and it perfectly lines up. Like I'm shocked he didn't cut his eyebrows to make it one straight line."

"I saw another one who looks like a tennis ball, he LITERALLY has black lines swerved behind his head. And he's BLONDE! LIKE ME! They called him Mad Dog? From Seijoh."

"They're all from the same prefecture too. I think it was Miyagi."

"Urgh remind me to never go there for a long trip." Haru caressed his own hair, scared at the thought pf someone cutting his golden tresses into a bowlcut.

Of course, someone heard the two shittalking everyone's hair, and they just so happened to also hear the shade towards Miyagi Prefecture. If anything is keeping Haru and Sousuke close, it was about hair.

That night, news spread amongst Karasuno and Seijoh with exxagerated retelling of stories of Haru and Sousuke being complete jerks.

"YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH US, CITY BOYS??"

Haru irked, looking down at the shaved-headed second year, Tanaka who was confident to defend his timid junior who's now fussing over his choice of hairstyle.

"I didn't mean it like that..."

Sousuke stepped in. "Look, if you have a problem with him, you have a problem with me."

"He also said that Tanaka shouldn't have any opinions since you don't have hair in the first place." A wide-eyed ravenette butted in, the first-year setter from Karasuno.

"HEY I DID NOT SAY THAT???" Haru yelled. "Who are you anyways??"

"It's Kageyama. One of the most common names, a toddler can curse it." Sousuke muttered, rolling his eyes.

"Excuse me? Do you have a problem with me?" Kageyama stepped up to Sousuke.

"Shut up before I'll pull up your family tree to find your relative in my next-door class!"

"What relative??"

"Your mom."

Shocked gasps erupted all around, Karasuno's captain stepping in to ease the tension after Sousuke dropped the 'your mom' bomb. Ennoshita was trying to beg Haru and Sousuke's own captain to pull them out of the fight.

"Hold up. I'm a little busy right now."

"Please, you can't even multitask for one second? How the hell did you even win spring nationals?"

(m/n) gritted his teeth, glaring at the brunette in front of him. Oikawa smirked with his hands on his hips, Iwaizumi trying not to explode of embarassment.

"Is there something you want, Oikawa?"

"Yeah. This court ain't big enough for two setters."

"Dumbass, you're both on different teams?!?!" Iwaizumi yelled, pulling Oikawa away from the shouting (h/c).

Daisuke smiled nervously, looking to the other Seijoh third years. "Can't we just all be friends?"

Matsukawa looked Daisuke up and down. "No."

"OKAY NOW WE HAVE A FUCKING PROBLEM-"

"SOMEONE GET THE PEPPER SPRAY-"

[ohmyeyesmyeyes]

what if i have big boobs and a small heart?

luke hughes x f!reader social media au

warnings: swearing, use of 'manwhore', allusions to sex

fc: steph bohrer

liked by markestapa, trevorzegras and 791 others

ynofficial: j-dog strikes again

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colecaufield: HEART, NOT BOOBS 📢

ynofficial: let's all bow down to preacher jack🧎

colecaufield: he's my summer entertainment

dylanduke25: you'll have to excuse my brother in law's behaviour, he does this sometimes. you just have to reset him by giving his fake tooth a wiggle

ynofficial: 💀

lhughes_06: duker what happened to the definitions?

dylanduke25: 'forgetting' - a failure to recall information

liked by lhughes_06

trevorzegras: i think i just pulled something trying not to laugh

lhughes_06: jackhughes you know it's bad when z points it out

_quinnhughes: i can confirm that was my live reaction

markestapa: my my he's done it again

ynofficial: my friend my pal my buddy

markestapa: YOU TALKIN TO ME? YOU TALKIN TO ME?

ynofficial: well who the hell else am i talking to

markestapa: we're really funny

ynofficial: the pranks? the laughs?

markestapa: between me and you?

ynofficial: ah!!!

edwards.73: YOU'RE ON VACATION WITHOUT ME?????

lhughes_06: you're in nj????? at dev camp?????

edwards.73: SEMANTICS

ynofficial: if it helps it's only duker, gavo, me, luke and mark now

edwards.73: it doesn't

ynofficial: you'll get over it😘

jackhughes: fuck

ynofficial: brace yourself. i'm never letting it go

_quinnhughes: he could do with being taken down a few pegs

lhughes_06: and what better way than a future s.i.l with no contractual obligations?

ynofficial: you make it seem like i'm unemployed

lhughes_06: you know you could be...😘

ynofficial: I DON'T NEED YOUR MONEY OKAY

ynofficial: I DON'T NEED TO RELY ON A MAN FOR FINANCIAL AID

lhughes_06: aid???? YOU'RE MY GIRLFRIEND I LIKE TAKING CARE OF YOU

markestapa: rare otp crumbs 😲 

dylanduke25: OTP OTP OTP

liked by edwards.73, jjmccarthy and 873 others

ynofficial: but what happens if i have big boobs and a small heart jackhughes?

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nolan_moyle: immediately that is incorrect

ynofficial: TREAD CAREFULLY MOYLE I HAVE BOOBS OKAY

nolan_moyle: i was in fact ☝️not talking about your boobs

markestapa: i'm honoured to be featured but you're the biggest liar in the world

dylanduke25: THAT GIRL IS A SOFTIE

edwards.73: well spoken

ynofficial: i will have you know that i am NOT a softie 🤨

_quinnhughes: i beg to fucking differ

ynofficial: QUINN YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO HAVE MY BACK

_quinnhughes: then i'm switching sides

ynofficial: 😨

jackhughes: I WAS HAMMERED THEN OKAY.

jackhughes: also you probably have the biggest heart out of everyone i've ever met

ynofficial: shut the hell up i do not

markestapa: to answer your question though, i think you'd just be a baddie

ynofficial: are you saying i'm not a baddie then

markestapa: you're a different kind of baddie honey 💛💛

liked by ynofficial, tyler_duke and 43,183 others

lhughes_06: an appreciation post for the biggest baddie with the biggest heart

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markestapa: you missed the boob part

lhughes_06: dude

ynofficial: mark has a point, do i not have boobs?

ynofficial: ample?

lhughes_06: i don't know how to answer that on social media

dylanduke25: ample: large and accommodating/plentiful

lhughes_06: LET'S ALL STOP TALKING ABOUT MY GIRLFRIEND'S BOOBS

jackhughes: are you jelly?

lhughes_06: you're the last person who gets to ask me that after what you just said

jackhughes: have a little brother they said 😐 you can bully him they said 😐 it'll be fun they said 😐

_quinnhughes: i'm literally living proof of that not being true wtf are you on

adamfantilli: question 🤔

lhughes_06: oh dear

adamfantilli: are cheesy speeches genetic? or was it a fluke?

lhughes_06: i think i'm offended

_quinnhughes: ouch

trevorzegras: LOL 😛

ynofficial: i had that thought and with experience luke usually says 'fuck shit up' and quinn says 'expose their weaknesses, flash luke, i'll point at the ocean to distract mark and then spike the ball. also, if we win, i'll buy you alcohol for the next month'...so jack is probably the fluke

bradytkachuk: i can confirm this is true yes

colecaufield: that does sound pretty accurate

trevorzegras: _quinnhughes YOU BRIBE UNDERAGE CHILDREN WITH ALCOHOL?????

_quinnhughes: i also know a lot of your secrets and i happen to be incredibly persuasive 😬

trevorzegras: was that a threat?

ynofficial: YES LMAO

edwards.73: so in conclusion, y/n is a soft baddie and the boob thing is inconclusive????

ynofficial: i totally forgot about the point of this post

lhughes_06: love to know my efforts go unrecognised ❤️

ynofficial: i don't have to show it on social media 😘

lhughes_06: tis true 😊

rutgermcgroarty: OTP 📣 OTP 📣

markestapa: private but not secret will always have my heart

luca.fantilli: he says swiping at the photos of them making out and shoving them in both luke's and y/n's faces telling them how cute they are and that they should post more couple content

markestapa: how tf do you know what i'm doing

luca.fantilli: there's a groupchat

markestapa: WITHOUT ME IN IT????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

liked by ynofficial, jacob_truscott20 and 63,197 others

lhughes_06: this is how we do ☀️���

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jackhughes: 😎🫣🔥🤝

_alexturcotte: court marshaled

g.brindley4: Behaviour.

ynofficial: hot hot hot

lhughes_06: all you you you

markestapa: flirty flirty flirty

trevorzegras: baby hughes is smooth smooth smooth 😮‍💨

jackhughes: 🙄🙄

dylanduke25: is pitcure #1 proof that boobs do indeed win?

g.brindley4: YNOFFICIAL WAS TAKING THE PIC SO YES!!!!!

edwards.73: luke hughes boob guy confirmed 🤫🤫

ynofficial: your curls will be the death of me

lhughes_06: 😊😊😊😊

matthewknies: they'll be the death of me too 😔

liked by rutgermcgroarty, nblanks98 and 528 others

ynofficial: just told these 4 goobers that they've all been 'so bf' recently and luke walked away from me, mark literally FROZE and eddy and duker just...got it

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ynofficial: side note: luke heard me tell this to mark and i've never seen the man look so ready to punch his friend before

markestapa: i was about to use my pims to defend myself

ynofficial: channel your inner rocky

markestapa: NEVER BACK DOWN NEVER WHAT

edwards.73: i think sometimes you should back down and go home

ynofficial: 😧😧

lhughes_06: in my defence, i was in the middle of playing golf

ynofficial: which is ridiculous because it was literally dark

_quinnhughes: yeah i don't remember still being there in the dark

ynofficial: that's because...

lhughes_06: no

lhughes_06: stop don't

jackhughes: now that i think about it i don't remember still being there either????

ynofficial: erm

dylanduke25: ew so you and luke were on a dark golf course with a buggy by yourself????? you disgust me

ynofficial: WE WEREN'T DOING THAT

lhughes_06: we were chatting shit but now that you mention it, thanks for the idea

jackhughes: 🤮🤮

_quinnhughes: don't pretend like you haven't done worse mr hot tub time machine 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

ynofficial: i can never watch that film again

edwards.73: me and duker are just 💪 that 💪 good 💪

dylanduke25: PERIOD 😤😤

ynofficial: it's true, you are

nolan_moyle: nblanks98 you look so bf all the time

ynofficial: yk what i think you're 10000% correct with that nolan

nolan_moyle: thank you 😊😊

nblanks98: aw 🥰

umichhockey: admin would like to agree with you

liked by ynofficial

jackhughes: have i been 'bf' lately?

ynofficial: you've been more 'manwhore' lately

_quinnhughes: ynofficial you're my favourite non-hughes

lhughes_06: when i marry her will she be the favourite hughes?

_quinnhughes: out of my siblings? absolutely

ynofficial: i'm SO honoured

ynofficial: _quinnhughes also you've been very bf lately, i don't tell you often

_quinnhughes: it's the hoodies isn't it?

ynofficial: and the fact that your cuddles are just *chef's kiss*

jackhughes: i give good cuddles too i'll have you know

lhughes_06: jackhughes you're not coming near her with a ten foot pole

ynofficial: you do jackhughes

ynofficial: what

lhughes_06: what

ynofficial: jack's given me hugs before

jackhughes: yeah

lhughes_06: why

ynofficial: he broke up with his girlfriend????

lhughes_06: JACK HAD A GIRLFRIEND?????

_quinnhughes: WHEN WAS THIS???????

jackhughes: ynofficial thank you for that

ynofficial: i'm so sorry oops

markestapa: you've been so gf lately

ynofficial: thank you bestie

edwards.73: what does that mean?

ynofficial: (i don't know)

lhughes_06: should i be threatened right now? i don't feel it but i feel like i should be iykwim

[kgetb]

He got that boyish look I like in a man (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠) ||>> Tom Riddle

song to listen to :

I Think He Knows (Taylor Swift)

summary:

Y/n tests how fast she could piss off Tom riddle with her inability to keep her mouth shut daily, until Tom finally snaps at her yapping ahh

golden retriever x black cat trope, swearing, fluff, tension, jealousy, Hufflepuff reader, one-sided friendship LMFAOOA😭😭, pining

goodness I dislike this one a lot...

lover masterlist ♡.

⤷ : : YANNA'S MAP .. : :

Y/n and her friends, all sat at the Hufflepuff Table, all of them laughing at Y/n’s jokes. Whilst they also all continued to talk about whatever, caught up in some random topic.

The sun-like girl engaged in the conversation as well, not until she spotted a Familiar Figure who walked down the Great Hall by himself. She stood up immediately from where she sat, and excused herself with a huge smile as she recognized who it was.. Who she calls... 'Sol'... Tom riddle. out of all people, seriously..?

“There she goes over to Riddle again!” One of her friends said, as they all watched how Y/n skip cheerfully towards the Boy. Who was anything but cheerful.

“heyyyaa!” Y/n called out, as walked over to he, who everyone feared. Tom Riddle. He let out a scowl, as he turned his head. realizing who was walking towards him. her... again?

“Well if it isn't my favorite Slytherin! heya, Tommmmyyy!” Y/n chirped, as she managed to sling one of her arms over Tom's shoulder, who narrowed his eyes at the girl. Literally not even hiding the fact that he was judging her whole existence as a person heavily.

“Don't ever call me that. And get your filthy arm off of my shoulder this instant.” Tom instantly hissed at Y/n with a harsh glare. The hufflepuff shrugged, unfazed yet complied. Removing the arm off of his shoulder, grinning like an idiot, her cheeks warming at the sight of Tom.

The Dark-haired boy furrowed his eyebrows at Y/n’s expression, then walked away back to the corridors of the Great Hall, exiting it again. with the hopes that Y/n wouldn’t follow him out, and just go back to her 'Hufflepuff pack.' but deep down, a growing feeling emerged in him, wishing that she'd follow him out.

And of course, Y/n still followed him outside. Leaving her group of friends, for the 'one-sided Friendship' she had with Tom. “awh c'mon Sol. Calm down, you're already so mad at me~” Y/n whined dramatically, as she tried to catch up to her 'buddy', who was walking as fast as he could. While maintaining a poker face, and with his hands tucked into the pockets of his robe.

The dramatic tone off Y/n, along with her words caused the Slytherin to let out a grunt, and roll his eyes. Yet continued walking with no comment. Thinking the 'sunshine' was gonna give up and stop following him around like a 'Stray Dog' soon enough.

But unfortunately for Tom, Y/n still followed him even after every turn, and enter of random corridors. Earning some looks in the hallways, they were still not so used to seeing.. Tom Riddle who was literally the definition of the devil himself, with Y/n Y/l/n who was an absolute angel. Literally the sun, and the moon.

“y'know I've been studying more abo—”

“oh for fuck's sakes! leave me alone!” Tom snapped harshly raising his voice for the first time at Y/n, finally getting fed up of her constant 'pestering', and 'talking.'

Y/n flinched suddenly at the raise of Tom's voice, and the genuine annoyed expression on his face.

And maybe for the first time ever, Y/n's sun-like demeanor dropped. She nodded, and flashed a forced grin along with a thumbs up towards Tom without uttering the words that irked Tom every day, “erh. I'll see you later, then Riddle.”

Riddle.

Riddle...?

She's never called him that before??? Tom's eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he watched Y/n's figure turn away from him, and walk away with her fingers intertwining with the other, fidgeting.

Tom huffed, as his gaze followed Y/n's figure walk off with pursed lips, before walking away once she's finally left his sight. Ignoring the quickened pounding of his heart..

---

“that was NOT how I expected it to go, guys!” Y/n groaned hopelessly, after ranting about how Tom basically got fed up, and yelled at her ass.

“guys, I don't think I have a chance. He definitely hates me,” She frowned and dipped her face in her cold palms, bringing her knees up to her chest

Her friends all exchanged glances, not quite used to seeing their little ball of Sunshine—Y/n, upset. Over some Boy, what a foreign sight to see

One of her friendz—Willow, placed her hand on Y/n's shoulder, “Y/n.. We think it's best for you to.. avoid Riddle,” she advised with a small smile, and an encouraging nod

Y/n removed her palms from her Face, placing them on her knees, turning her head then over to her friend, with furrowed eyebrows, with her lips curved downwards, “hm, I guess you guys're right. Maybe he's really just like the moon, beautiful, yet hard to reach.”

Her friends all exchanged glances once again, as they listened to Y/n's words not expecting her to give in that fast, while also giving such a 'poetic' quote. Definitely not like her at all..

“take a break from him for a while, focus on yourself more!” her friend advised once again, yet with a much more happier tone, trying to ease Y/n's mood.

---

Just as usual, Y/n and her friends all sat down at the Hufflepuff Table for breakfast. All engaging in different conversations, whilst having breakfast.

And as Y/n finally noticed a Familiar Figure she's been wanting to see, her friends all shook their head and told her to sit down, reminding her the conversation they've had last night.

She nodded, and sat back down on her seat, watching as Tom finally made it over his Table without her having to pester, and piss him off like usual..

---

A few days then have passed, and Tom has gotten tenser, feeling off. And of course, he's quickly realized why he's felt like something was missing.. It was none other than the absence of Y/n

And as soon as hes realized, hes swiftly darted through corridor after corridor, in need , desperate. to hear the what he describes as — 'annoying', and 'irritatable'.. the voice of Y/n

Tom gritted his teeth, as he finally spotted Y/n all cheerful, and chatting with her Friends, without even knowing how much of an effect she had on him!

He walked until he was behind Y/n, towering over her as he turned his gaze over to her friends, with a displeased expression. The three girls immediately cleared their throat, and scurried away silently. Leaving the poor Girl, standing there all confused as to why her friends had suddenly just ditched her..

“Why've you been avoiding me?” a husky voice erupted from behind her all so suddenly, causing her to tense up whilst her eyes widened..

She slowly turned her head over her shoulder, and was met Tom with a frown plastered on his face, as he eyed Y/n down.

Y/n silently snickered to herself at his expression, “Well Riddle, You told me to leave 'ya alone.” She stated confidentally, folding her arms over her chest

“Stop calling me that.” He murmured coldly, furrowing his eyebrows as Y/n called him by his last name — Riddle..

"And why would you even listen to what I said, anyway?” He scoffed, whilst Y/n brushed him off and walked away from him.

“Y/n L/n!” Tom called out sternly, causing the Girl to freeze in her tracks, and turn her heel over to face the Boy

“What, Riddle what?! What do you want from me?!” She raised her voice at Tom, trying to surpress a smile and stifle a laugh.

“Why have you been avoiding me?” He asked, once again. With the same tone and husky voice taking a few steps closer to Y/n glaring harshly at her for making him feel so.. vulnerable.

“Isn't that what you want though?”

“N-No! I don't want that, okay?! I don't like it when you... Avoid me like that.” Tom mumbled the last part, yet he assummed it was still loud enough for Y/n to hear, as he saw how her lips parted, whilst she stared deeply into Tom

“I don't like it when you call me Riddle either alright? I don't like it when you aren't talking,” Tom rambled, eyes widening as the words continued to slip through his lips, words he've secretly wanted to say.

A laugh then surpassed Y/n's lips as her lips now curved into a grin. “I thought you hated me or somethin” She admitted, shaking her head at her own words whilst shrugging her shoulders with her arms still folded

“If I hated you, I would've killed you already.” He responded bluntly, whilst his gaze maintained fixated onto Y/n, wandering over her eyes then over to her lips.

“so 'ya love me?” She teased and nudged Tom with her elbow playfully, her demeanor now lightening up, and back to her usual sunshine self

Tom cleared his throat, and slid his hands into the pockets of his robe, “maybe I do?” His lips then curved into a grin, before walking past Y/n, knowing she was gonna follow him anyway.

“h—hey! Tom, wait! what d'ya mean by that?!”

mentions : @helendeath

[fuck-customers]

One of our litters broke with parvo, which means we're spending the next couple hours suiting up in isolation gear and scrubbing the literal and figurative shit out of the kennel and any adjacent kennel top to bottom, inside out with a very caustic disinfectant. For this reason and to keep customers from becoming walking fomites, the room gets shut down until cleaning is finished. As my coworker and I are suiting up, a customer gets an attitude. "I'm sorry, Ma'am, this room is closed for the rest of the day." "Well, I have an appointment to see one of the dogs in here." "Yeah, sorry, everything is shut down in here. You can speak to the front desk for more information but for safety reasons, the dogs in here cannot be viewed for the rest of the day." "But I have an APPOINTMENT." Just back and forth for like fifteen minutes. It took everything in me to not say "Oh, you're right, the parvovirus is very stern about appointments and punctuality and won't be infectious until after your appointment. Come on in." Then the next day, as we're making calls about it to previous adopters (not verbatim but you get the gist): "Hi, sir, I'm [blah from blah blah] calling per county policy to let you know that we had parvo in the building and you adopted a dog within a two week period of a positive parvo test. You adopted the dog on the 23th of last month and the positive pup came in on the 30th. They weren't even in the building at the same time so your baby wasn't exposed. However, we still have to call since it was within two weeks." "My dog has PARVO????" "... I mean, probably not. I'm just calling to let you know that we had a positive test today and since you adopted in the last two weeks, we have to call and tell you that we had a positive test." "So you sold me a dog that is sick?" "No, sir, I'm saying we had a dog test positive today. You adopted an entire week before the sick pup came in but we still have to call you per policy, and let you know that we had a positive result." "Hold on, hold on, I'm still trying to figure out why you gave me a dog that's sick." "*woman biting keyboard meme here* Sir, the dog you adopted was fully vaccinated and was showing zero signs of any sort of illness when he left here. If he isn't [short list of signs of illness] then he's probably fine. If he *is* sick, he didn't pick up anything here. Once more, I am simply CALLING to INFORM YOU that a pup that came in AN ENTIRE WEEK AFTER YOURS LEFT tested positive for parvo. Your dog was NOT exposed to the sick puppy but we still have to call due to COUNTY POLICY." It continued on until my supervisor reached over and hung up the phone while I was talking. She said "If he didn't get it by now, he never will. I'll worry about it if he calls back." As far as I know, he didn't. In my head, I wondered if maybe the two customers were related lol (and for those wondering, the sick puppy in question is recovering well as of writing this. thankfully the rest of the litter didn't test positive at any point)

Posted by admin Rodney

[kenlvry]

you're the only sp writer i request from you're literally my fav 😢😢 but can i request stan kyle and kenny with a reader who gets jealous really easily??

reader who is easily jealous

an, HI OMG THIS IS SO SWEET ILY ANON ☹️☹️🫶🫶 18-19

kyle

okay kyle didn't know you were the type to get easily jealous, i mean he js thought you didn't really care and kinda let him roll with whoever he wants but thats probably because he hangs out with girls who are in the same cliques as you so,,

it was until you literally glared at the waitress who stared at him for one too many seconds he knew, you ended up having a bad mood throughout the whole meal and eyeing the waitress "baby r you okay?" "why? if im not are you going to leave me for that stupid waitress?" "WHAT NO???"

theres always two reasons why you're so quiet on a date, kyle was too friendly with a girl or a girl was too friendly with him. you ignore him roll your eyes at him and he's just begging you to give him an ounce of attention.

if a girl likes his story you literally stalk her, her mom, her brother, her father, her boss, her colleagues everything.

you continue to ignore that girl for weeks and roll your eyes at her whenever you see her around cz why u liking my mans story? keep your likes baby

he finds it so hot tbh like omg ur this obsessive with me?? 🤭 he gets turned on by this for sure.

even though he finds it attractive and it gets him all sweaty he needs to he careful because you weren't easy to persuade once your jealous fr. once he had to get down on his knees, crying out to you to please look at him. he loves you though and he'd do it again

a thud was heard from your window, then another, and another. it was annoying you so you open your curtains to see what was causing the noise, it was your boyfriend. you opened up your window sticking out half of your body out of the window, "kyle?" you yell, "please unblock me, i dont know why she follows and likes all my post i swear" he yells back. you smile to yourself at how desperate this man is "what if i dont want to?" you put your hands in the frame of the window smiling "um,, I haven't really thought about it" "oh bye then" "wait wait!" he called out and you turn back from walking away. "I'll uh.. I'll freeze myself!" your eyes upon widen at his dumb idea "what no you idiot" he takes off his jacket, gloves and hands then put it on the ground, he then kneels clasp his hands together "please?" "omg." you rub your temples together and rush down. kyle sighs thinking you left him, looking at the ground of shame because now the neighbors think he got another girl pregnant or something. the front door open and he flung his head to its direction, you walked out with your own coat wrapping it around him "you can beg all you want but there's a way to do it without hurting yourself" "anything to make you happy" "I'm not" he chuckles as you drag him inside "don't do that again" "hmm we'll see" "kyle brofloski!" he chuckles again at you while you bring him up to your room, he really loves you.

kenny

LOVES IT SO FUCKING MYCH 😝😝😝

its like he knows you love him because you'll isolate yourself just because a girl winked at him and won't see him until he begs for forgiveness even though it aint his fault

okay that kinda sounds like a redflag,, WTV WALK HIM LIKE A DOG IG 🤭

anyways, he doesn't hate it dont care if it interferes his life. even if he has to give up everything to make you talk to him he'll do it IM NOT JOKING

he does not care, he has to block all the girls he knows? okay! never talk to any of his girl friends? yea sure! breath only your air and not lay his eyes on a single woman except you only? anything you want babe ☺️

ALSO GETS HARD FOR THIS PLEASE. i js know he's turned on after you get visually jealous.

"please baby look at me" he pulls your arm for you to stop your tracks from going into your room "shut up, maybe you should go to that hoe who waved at you, why did she wink?? did you two used to have something??" you pull back your arm and go up the stairs with kenny following in suit. arriving infront of your bedroom kenny pulled your arm again and when you turned he immediately fall to his knees "please, i dont know her" he hold your palm with both hands, glossy eyed "i,, kenny" "please?" tilting his head to the side, he'll sit there for hours if he has to. "get up mccormick, im sorry i overreacted" he got up so quickly then hugged you, his head falling on your shoulder "loveyou" his breath on your shoulder, you smile "love you too"

stan

i think he has a love hate relationship with your jealousy, like on one hand he knows you love him and would literally kill anyone for him but on the other... its kinda tiring to beg to you

i mean he doesn't care going on his knees, and crawling all fours for you but at times he just can't deal with it yk??

but he mostly loves it obvi, the way your eyes stay focus on the girl that was 'hitting' on him or the way you sulk and won't tell him why even though its obvious it's bc your jealous, its all so cute to him. and he loves this side of your jealousy, just couples being couple

other times though.. you'd block gim everywhere and won't unblock him until the next day when you reflect on your stupid decisions. or when you ignore him at school or not even make eyecontact with him, he hates and loves it.

you had another quarrel with stan again, this fight was because he still comments '☺️' under Wendy's post of herself, it was valid true but you still thought you overreacted. sitting on your bed with your arms cross and tears almost falling down at the thought of Stan going back to wendy broke your heart. ding a notification popped up and you pick up your phone hoping it was stan despite you blocking him everywhere, it was your friend "um, whats up with stan?" she texted you "wdym" your eyebrows furrow together, you immediately unblock him on Instagram and to your surprise his profile picture was you, his stories had 8 pictures of you with cute songs behind it. he had posted 2 picture of you two on his feed one captioning "traveling the moon and back to find good internet to see if her blocking me was a mistake or im a mistake". his bio was now "tell her to unblock me ☹️". you smile at this and your cheeks turned a pink tint. you unblocked him on every platform and it seems he had changed his profile picture to you on every single one. "." "BABE YOU UNBLOCKED ME" "i mean yeah i have to especially since i have 5 people texting me about your profile" "just wanted to show my girlfriend love" "whatever" a knock was heard on your door, then a chat from stan "open up i brought food and wine" you smile and blush to yourself as your rush down to open the door. he was the sweetest

[svnnyd4ys]

INSIDE THE MYSTERIOUS CUBE x RICHARD SIKEN (except it's just Crush)

some of his quotes that are literally just Inside the Mysterious Cube core (feels very Bubbamiah centric but we love them) (never encourage me to do anything, because I'll never shut up) (would've included his other anthology, War of the Foxes, but Crush fits it so much better anways)

"Do you know how it ends? Do you feel lucky? Do you want to go home now? There's a bottle of whisky in the trunk of the Chevy and a dead man at our feet staring up at us like we're something interesting. This is where the evening splits in half, Henry, love or death."

"You saved my life, he says. I owe you, I owe you everything. You don't, I say, you don't owe me squat, let's just get going, let's just get gone, but he's relentless, keeps saying I owe you, says Your shoes are filling with your own damn blood, you must want something, just tell me and it's yours. But I can't look at him, can hardly speak: I took the bullet for all the wrong reasons." (this feels soooo pre!ITMC idk) (the way i can hear Sam saying "your shoes are filling with your own damn blood")

both from Wishbone in Crush!! more under the cut (not exaggerating, there's a lot, so good luck)

"Imagine my legs crossed, my hair combed, the shine of my boots in the slatted light. I'm thinking My plant, his chair, the ashtray that we bought together. I'm thinking This is where we live."

"We've read the back of the book, we know what's going to happen. The fields burned, the land destroyed, the lovers left broken in the brown dirt. And then it's gone."

"Goodbye. Goodbye. No more tears. I would like to see you all in Heaven." (i can hear AJ the president saying this)

"We are all just trying to be holy. My applejack, my silent night, just mash your lips against me. We are all going forwards. None of us are going back."

(snow and dirty rain)

"You can sleep now, you said. You can sleep now. You said that. I had a dream where you said that. Thanks for saying that. You weren't supposed to."

(straw house, straw dog)

"You're by the side of the road. You're by the side of the road, and you're doing all the talking while I stare at my shoes. They're nice shoes, brown and comfortable, and I like your voice. In the dream, I don't tell anyone, I'm afraid to wake you up."

(i had a dream about you)

"Tonight, by the freeway, a man eating fruit pie with a buckknife carves the likeness of his lover's face into the motel wall. I like him and I want to be like him, my hands no longer an afterthought."

"History is a little man in a brown suit trying to define a room he is outside of. I know history. There are many names in history but none of them are ours."

"It wasn't until we were well past the middle of it that we realised the old dull pain, whose stitched wrists and clammy fingers, far from being subverted, had only slipped underneath us, freshly scrubbed."

"His wounds healed, the skin a bit thicker than before, scars like train tracks on his arms and on his body, underneath his shirt."

(LITTLE BEAST (underrated fave))

"Tell me we're dead and I'll love you even more. I'm surprised I say it with feeling."

"I want to tell you this story without having to say that I ran out into the street to prove something, that he chased after me and threw me into the gravel. And he knew it wasn't going to be okay."

(the torn-up road)

"I will keep watch. I will water the yard. Knot the tie and go to work. Unknot the tie and go to sleep. I sleep. I dream. I make up things I will never say. I say them very quietly."

(meanwhile)

"You have never experienced anything this ferocious or intentional with another person."

"and he's singing to you, even though you don't know who he is."

"The heart is monologing about hesitation and fulfilment while behind the red brocade the heart is drowning."

"This is the essence of love and failure. You see what I mean, but you're happy anyway, and that's okay, it's a love story after all, a lasting love, a wonderful adventure with lots of action,"

"The train station blue, your lips blue, hands cold and the blue wind. Or a horse, your favourite horse raised up out of the mud and galloping galloping always towards you."

"You just wanted to prove there was one safe place, just one safe place where you could love him."

(you are jeff)

"You are going to die in your best friend's arms. And you play along because it's funny, because it's written down, you've memorised it, it's all you know."

(planet of love)

"Kissing degenerates into biting. So you get a kidney punch, a little blood in your urine. It isn't over yet, it's just begun."

(a primer for small weird loves)

[mulletmitsuya]

Toman groupchat

Warnings: swearing, suggestive, homophobia (as a joke), and one poop mention

Desc: the boys are trying to find out how cat boys defecate

Mikey: it doesn't matter

Mikey: if Kazutora was a real cat boy he would shit in a litter box

Mikey: that's all i'm saying🤷‍♂️

Baji: don't say that then tf??

Mitsuya: usually i don't ask but this seemed unprovoked

Mitsuya: what are you guys talking about

Mitsuya: i'm gonna regret asking this tbh

Kazutora: i shit in the toilet just fine thank you

Kazutora: and i never claimed to be a cat boy😭. i'm just a boy that loves cats

Mikey: you said, and i quote "yeah i think i'm a catboy"

Mikey: fucking slut

Draken: then leave him alone? like what's the issue

Mikey: oh here comes sensible Ken-chin to save the day with his common sense that will most likely save hours of arguing🙄

Draken: 😐

Kazutora: ok fine maybe i said that but i didn't mean it like that. i meant i was a boy who also happened to like cats. Mikey you aren't listening to me

Kazutora: also why am i a slut???

Chifuyu: i mean

Kazutora: bro??

Chifuyu: no i'm joking lol

Baji: he's not

Mikey: it's your waist

Mikey: and your piercings

Mikey: you're a literal whore

Draken: Mikey

Draken: shut the fuck up

Baji: go fuck his sister to spite him

Draken: dude

Draken: can you ever be normal

Baji: nah

Kazutora: nothing's wrong with my waist?

Baji: you wear crop tops sometimes

Mikey: and your twink like, feminine like, small torso tempts those around you

Baji: don't get me started on those nipple piercing bruh, had me creaming all over the place

Mikey: chill😕

Mitsuya: of course

Mitsuya: of course this is an argument you guys are having

Kazutora: I'M JUST STANDING HERE???

Chifuyu: yeah guys leave him alone

Baji: are you typing with both hands? 🤨

Chifuyu: yes????

Chifuyu: 😭

Smiley: these damned homosexuals bruh

Smiley: sorry thought i was dming Angry

Angry: homosexuals are fine!

Angry: Smiley's homophobic, not me

Angry: please keep that in mind

Angry: i was going to reply with something along the lines "well i like gay people because they slay"

Kazutora: idk man i just feel like i'm being attacked for no reason

Mikey: stop being slutty then!

Baji: only be slutty in our apartment bro

Baji: problem solved 👍

Mikey: wait

Mikey: bro chill i was joking

Mikey: dress anyway you like fr

Draken: don't listen to them Kazutora, they're all delusional

Kazutora: ok...

Kazutora: i am a boy that likes cats and that is all

Hakkai: sorry to interrupt

Hakkai: but does that mean that Inupi's a dog boy

Koko: puppy boy in particular

Angry: bro came out of nowhere

Mikey: lol

Mikey: came out

Mikey: get it

Mikey: cause he's gay

Angry: i believe it's bi

Kazutora: i don't think it's gay to think Inupi's hot

Mikey: why not

Kazutora: he's pretty like a girl

Mikey: he has a dick and balls

Kazutora: ok fine 🙁

Smiley: koko and inupi

Smiley: they're the gays i hate the most tbh

Draken: dude can u stop 🤨

Smiley: no

Smiley: watch me tell Emma you're half gay

Draken: she knows mf😐

Smiley: i wanna call you guys a homophobic slur so bad rn

Kazutora: dude you can't do that

Kazutora: it'll hurt Baji's feelings

Baji: nah i'll just beat his ass

Kazutora: lol cause you're gay

Baji: ...

Baji: yeah?

Kazutora: what?

Baji: yeah? cause i like dudes?

Kazutora: ...

Kazutora: 😯

Baji: ain't no way bruh

Mikey: Tora you fucking idiot man

Draken: L

Kazutora: what'd i do???

Baji: did u think me being attracted to men was a joke

Kazutora: yes...

Kazutora: it's not??

Chifuyu: 😟

Baji: so all the times i physically grabbed your ass...that didn't ring a bell?

Mikey: or the times he stared deeply into your eyes and told you he loved you

Kazutora: i thought you were being sus with the homies

Baji: c'mon man

Baji: bro this isn't even funny

Baji: i thought we had smth fr

Mikey:

Mikey: Kazutora rn lol

Chifuyu: 💀

Draken: lmao

Smiley: Draken chuckled ☺

Smiley: he found the joke funny🤣🤣🤣🤣

Draken: let's go outside

Smiley: nah bruh you gon beat my ass

Kazutora: Baji let's talk bruh

Angry: he emphasized the 'bruh' which means he doesn't have romantic feelings for you

Angry: sorry Baji

Baji: fuck off megamind pubes head ass

Mikey:

Mikey: Baji rn

Baji: i'm gonna shove a cactus in every crevice of you body

Mikey: bro's mad

Baji: ayt

*Baji has gone offline*

Mikey: bro thinks i'm scared

Draken: why r you trying to find a place to hide

Mikey: i'm just looking for my phone

Draken: ...alr

Draken: ...

Mitsuya: what

Draken: Baji

Draken: where'd you get a cactus that big that fast?????

[shamelessboiledwater]

Before the cages get lowered in lava Luigi ask to say something before dying and Bowser allows it thinking he was going to beg to be spared but instead Luigi goes on a rant about how wrong this wedding is starting with "you are down right disgusting for doing this to the princess!" Saying this shocks everyone even the other prisoners then continues before could speak "and not to mention the freaking wedding is only one side I mean you actually think will love you for all the pain and suffering your putting on her shoulders!?" He yelled making Bowser suddenly shut his mouth in amazement, for a moment of course 😉 "I mean even if the princess falls for you you already ruined it but 1 terrorizing her people 2 for hurting her land and 3 for forcing her to marry you! You literally made the wedding about your freaking self No lady or princess likes that, it's downright mean, disgusting and rude! YOU EVEN MADE THE DAMN CAKE MORE ABOUT YOU THEN BOTH OF YOU!!" He yelled out scaring everyone a little bit and he was now walking back and forth in his cage (who knew the little guy had it in him) "and finally you no good snail turtle for brains dog water breath of a king didn't think how she might fell about this if she really loved you! You would have let her in the wedding plans but nooooo it had to be all about you, you, you! You literally not once asked how she felt about any of this and thus is why you are always alone you giant angry turtle!" He said panting heavily before turning around and sitting in his cage everyone was in shock and Bowser was the only person staring at him now as everyone whispered to the person closest to them Luigi was half expecting Bowser to kill him right then and there as he was about to turn around "the wedding is being put on hold we are going back to the dark lands!" Bowser yelled then looked at Kamek "put that green scared a cat in a guest room this instant and do not question my order" he said walking off as the island started rising

Leaving the mushroom kingdom and later Luigi was taken to a room with the princess shocking both of them "you had a lot of courage saying that stuff to Bowser" Peach said as Luigi rubbed the back of his neck "you don't have to tell me twice" he said, they decided to talk about stuff while Bowser was in his studies walking back and forth trying to get Luigi's angry face out of his head it turned him on a little bit wait what Bowser focus! He roars before punching a wall trying to understand what's happening is messing with his head he's seen Peach angry but it never made him feel like this as Kamek walked in Bowser grabbed ahold of him pulling him closer to his face "You said when your eyes land on someone you would begin to feel butterflies in your stomach!? Why the fuck am I feeling like this after getting disrespected at my own wedding!!" Kamek tried his best to calm Bowser down rubbing his hand "your majesty I'm sure these feeling will pass you said it yourself you love the princess maybe you're just a little nervous and upset because of what happened at the altar" Bowser for some reason didn't like this letting Kamek go "you don't understand it's the way he looked at me with those dark baby blue eyes...his..his cold but yet sweet voice and his..soft...skin.." Bowser said slowing realizing he fell in love with that no good girl stealing and ugly Mario's little brother then it hit him he was in love with **Mario's** little brother a evil smile showed up on his face "I know a way to get back at that short mustache wife stealing Mario! I'll date his brother and steal away the thing most dear to him...yes..yes! Mario would have no choice but to back off if I make his brother love me by marrying him instead!" Bowser's smile turned into a wicked smirk as Kamek was loving all of this "would you like me to let everyone know of the new plans?" He asked as Bowser looked at him "no I'm gonna do this nice and slow for now don't want greenie getting any ideas"

If your wondering where Mario and Donkey Kong are they're climbing the side of the island that is all I'll talk about it later no promises tho (that's a lie >:) )

[alicepao13]

Hudson and Rex S01E11

This is one of the episodes that offers some insight on various social issues for those of us living on the other side of the world.

Charlie and Rex on a rare time off before they sadly get interrupted by the case of the week.

Another great day for filming lol

I mean look at that. These must have all been done in one take. That's horrible weather. In my country, we'd never even have a shooting day in that weather. (Yes, even Greece does in fact get snow from now and then. And no one knows what to do with it so we just shut everything down).

Fun ATV time in the snow.

He almost got shot. Eh, next time.

Although I liked Odina, I didn't find it smart at all for a cop to threaten another cop with a gun.

Charlie: If you want to stop me you're gonna have to shoot me. And Rex too. Rex: What the fuck, dude?

Charlie: We need a safe house, Joe. Joe: No, Allora is getting arrested. Charlie: You won't believe that, she ran away from me. Joe: You're right, I don't.

And then he ropes Sarah in it too. Partners in crime.

"Did Detective Hudson offer you anything to eat or drink?" He didn't even pay attention to her wound lol

Literally everyone is lying to Charlie in this episode. Not that he can complain about it because he's also lying to Joe.

This doesn't really look like much on a screenshot but I like Charlie's look of quiet panic as he hears a glass smash over the phone when he's talking to Sarah.

I understand the hesitation to get Allora to the precinct because as it will turn out, it's not the safest place, but Charlie's place is also not much better in that respect.

Sarah loves beating people with sticks.

Next time, aim for his head, though.

Joe is pissed. He probably expected that when he let his detective partner up with a dog, out of the two of them the dog would be the most trouble. But no.

Jesse geeking out about steel of all things...

Rex: There's something down here. Help me, humans, I don't have thumbs!

Joe coming up with the solution for the First Nations community to finally have clean water. If only the world worked like that for real.

Joe: Rex, good boy. You and only you did a good job. Charlie, bad boy. I'll see to your training.

Beautiful final shot.

I wonder if this is what right wingers consider a "woke episode" or whatever. Because these are issues derived from real life. Even I have read of news about places in North America that don't have access to clean water and it consistently happens to poor areas or areas with indigenous people. It's not something that "woke" shows come up with. Now, I haven't read a lot about Canada-related cases, mostly because a lot of the news outlets I see are US-centered, but a quick google search shows that First Nations communities in Canada have been facing this issue over decades.

[yakumtsaki]

We're back for the last update before Barflina fucks off to college! This is one giant update I have to split in 2 parts them thanks to the liferuining new 30 pics limit, I will post part 2 right after this one. I don't mean to be dramatic but the universe cannot contain my hatred for the new post editor. At least I have Wendi looking all cute and regal.

-I will NEVER have kittens with Shinok, I hate him and his stupid, not coordinated grey leg coloring!

What?? WHO CARES

-I care, look at my beautiful cohesive coat! His genes would ruin it and our kids would be freaks!

-Jimbo, on the other hand, is a perfect specimen! Now that's a good addition to my gene pool!

Jimbo, the leopard print, custom slider freakshow DOG is a perfect specimen for you, Wendi the CAT. I'm starting to suspect you're a cross-species perv and Shinnok's legs aren't the problem here.

-Shut it! Leave that elderly deer bitch Veronica, Jim, and run away with me!

-Oh Wendi, I don't know, it seems wrong..

-I hear you, baby, but maybe it's so wrong.. it's right?

-KEEP YOUR SLUTTY PERVERTED WIFE AWAY FROM MY MAN, SHINNOK

-HOW AM I THE ONE GETTING BEAT UP I HATE THIS HOUSE I HATE MY LIFE

-I'M RUNNING AWAY AND NEVER COMING BACK, YOU CAN KISS THE CAT LEGACY GOODBYE!!!

10 seconds later:

-Ok I'm back, just in time for my birthday!

Happy birthday, Shinnok, your present is your dad dying at the exact same time. WTF @ game timing.

-Daddy no!

-I'm off to join your mother in cat heaven, Shinnok!

-But Mom hated you!

-Oh right she did, well she's probably in Hell anyway. Guard those mismatched grey legs you got from me, they are my legacy!

-I will Dad! I will!!

RIP Klaus, you were a sweetheart, I'm sorry you had to mate with Kitana💔

Xander and Sandy are each other's fav and Sandy is constantly late for work because she's fucking around playing with him. I'd like to remind you guys that I've been trying to get her to the top of the culinary career since SOPHITO AND SUGAR WERE CHILDREN

-B̷U̴T ̸I ̷L̷O̷V̴E̵ XA̴N̸D̵E̶R̵🧟‍♀️

Will you get your zombie ass to work, Xander will be here when you come back!

NEVER MIND. WHY CAN'T THIS GAME SPACE OUT THE PET DEATHS A LITTLE GOOD GOD.

RIP Xander, you were the best dog we've had so far, you were so good and loyal and kept running into fires with your dumbass owners. I'll miss you💔

-I ̴D̶I̵D̶ ̶I̷T, I F̷I̸N̷A̴L̷L̶Y̵ ̵D̴I̸D̵ ̶I̸T̶! W̴H̵E̷R̷E̵'̸S̶ M̵Y ̸D̵O̷G̷ ̴BA̷B̷Y🧟‍♀️

Sandy I'm so happy for you, and also I'd like to talk to you about the law of equivalent exchange.

Could it be that there are too many people in this house?? Could it??? I'm starting to feel it's possible.

OH FFS, VERONICA

AWWWW they have Jimbo's spots, so cute! God this lot is gonna explode.

SO CUTE. MY HEART

Time for Liz's cucky birthday party with no guests because I'm already tempting fate with this lot.

-Thank you, balloons, for protecting the viewing public from Failina's face. -This face has been making out with Meadow Thayer while you're getting rejected by the Tricou Don clones. -SHUT UP I'LL KILL YOU -Can I blow my candles now? -Not yet, Mom, I'm not done bringing up Barf's humiliating dating failures.

Please go ahead, Liz, and also where the hell is your husband.

-Playing catch with Sugar.

Of course he is.

-Happy birthday to me!

Do you feel any different, other than this awful outfit that I'm changing asap?

-Now that you mention it I do..

-..I feel the inexplicable need to fight with my 100yo mother-in-law despite the fact we're friends!

Liz wtf WHY

-There can only be one cunty matriarch around here and it is I! And also I'm a way better lawyer than you ever were! Now let me just get my makeover-

-So I can berate you some more!

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING. Liz wtf is your problem??? It's literally like a switch flipped as soon as she aged up, what on earth.

-I EAT LITTLE 60YOS LIKE YOU FOR BREAKFAST, BITCH

She does, Liz, she really does. You come at the queen, you best not miss! But I still don't get why this feud erupted out of nowhere??

Oh my God.. IT'S BARFLINA. We have the quite possibly first case in history where it isn't the adults exposing the children to violence and setting abusive patterns, it's the other way around!!! YOU TWO ARE TEARING THIS FAMILY APART, EVEN SHAJAR AND HER 1 NICE POINT ARE HORRIFIED -GOOD, THIS FAMILY CAN GO TO HELL!!! FROM ITS ASHES MY NEW DYNASTY WILL RISE -SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT YOUR DYNASTY ALREADY -YOU'LL NEVER HAVE A DYNASTY BECAUSE NO ONE WILL EVEN DATE YOU -THEY SO WILL AND THEY'LL BE BETTER THAN YOUR BIMBO -TAKE HER NAME OUT OF YOUR GROSS MISSHAPEN MOUTH -WE HAVE THE SAME MOUTH, MORON -YA BUT MINE HAS BEEN KISSED, INCEL -I'LL KILL YOU -I'LL KILL YOU MORE

-Dad, someone will date me, right?? -Of course they will, son! You'll be a hoe, like your dad was before you! -But no one wants to date me! You had 50 first dates, I clearly get my genes from you but not the success! -Well, you'll have to relax and play it cool. You come across a little neurotic and/or psychotic. You get that from your mom. -You're right, Dad, I won't call the matchmaker until I'm as relaxed as one of those pimples chilling on Failina's gross oily forehead!

-Ah, nothing more relaxing than a nice, hot cup of tea..

-..with the view of Uncle Sugar setting Sandy's spine back in place. -I̸T FE̵L̸L ̴O̸F̷F🧟‍♀️ -Ok, I'm ready for my date!

See you in part 2, coming right up!

[dirtbra1n]

AA4 SPOILERS/////

that quote you called krisnix is soooo fascinating to me bc, they really had dinner together most days, like that’s a level of commitment we didn’t even see from most of the ppl who phoenix considered important and that whole time on kristoph’s end it was to keep an eye on Phoenix and on phoenix’s end it curiosity bc kristoph voted against him losing his badge and also it was to find out the reason why he lost his badge and kristoph was just this name that kept popping up, and for Phoenix and kristoph it was so many red flags bc kristoph knew phoenix wasn’t the type to let something rest and Phoenix knew there was more to kristoph then at first glance but somewhere along the way it become genuine, but at the same time kristoph still kills shadi after a single convo with phoenix and phoenix still pressed record before even asking kristoph to be his lawyer, it’s Phoenix recording every single one of those convos with kristoph but still (probably) having him meet truck, but it’s kristoph keeping himself at arms length from Phoenix but Phoenix taking it bc he’s never been the type to give up on a person, whether it’s to their doom or his and for better or worse he wouldn’t want anyone else to really see him the way he currently is besides kristoph, now what the hell could that possibly mean?

(that quote I called krisnix)

anon you will never know the extent of the joy I felt seeing this initially and the extent of it I still feel now. but I’d like you to. Thank You For Biting. and for waiting a little over a month Sorry about that. I'm gonna ask you to forgive me if this doesn't make any sense or hold up to scrutiny. the demons have got hold of me and I'm making do

because I get to talk more about krisnix. Ha ha. pulled out all my silly little suppositions to review again I think I was waiting for an opportunity like this. like my hubris is getting me. I recklessly called that quote krisnix and now a little over a month later I'm completely sick about it.

I'm going to reiterate that I'm very sorry if this reads like shit, and I'll apologize just this once that this post got as long as it did. go fish

you ever think about how kristoph's a dog guy. guy who has a dog, guy who brought a photo of his dog into solitary confinement with him. also a caged blue bird which alive or not happened to contribute significantly to the krisnix breakdown of dec. 2023 There are really some very bright minds in krisnix pit. me and you included anon. that's a tangent. I'm sick. I'm drafting this in a terribly disorganized fashion. I'm reading transcripts. I'm getting dizzy.

this fucking room haunts me

vongole, though

a man's best friend, who's known to bite if handled roughly. her name means clams.

I've been doing some web surfing. I can't move in one straight line to save my life so I've been doing some web surfing. kristoph doesn't say what kind of retriever vongole is, which is fine. retrievers are dogs bred to retrieve game, tasked not to break skin, to be gentle, to keep soft mouths. vongole is a retriever who bites (literal) when bitten (metaphorical); a clam that clasps shut.

kristoph's a dog guy and sometimes he's the metaphorical dog. not One straight line to save my life. it's funny that seven years have passed without phoenix meeting vongole. held at arms length but indisputably held. a man's closest friend. besides his dog.

a lot of the time phoenix is the metaphorical dog. putting all tangents aside A lot of the time. phoenix is that metaphorical dog. what is seven years of companionship, eating dinner after dinner together, and being seen at your worst... worth? indulge me: this guy, you pieced together pretty quick, was behind the forged evidence that lost you your badge. this guy, as you saw happen in real time, was the one person on that committee to vote against that "strictest punishment".

this guy, as an indisputable fact, is a big fucking weirdo. you'll need to snare him eventually, for the forged evidence, but--you're kind of in the habit of liking weirdos. is the thing. he sunk your career, he lost you your badge. he's kind of an asshole, also.

he has bought you and trucy dinner more times than you could ever hope to count. there's a curve in your sofa from all the times he's sat in the same spot, wrinkling his nose at greasy takeout boxes and your grape juice breath. he talks to trucy in a voice slightly less haughty--warm, if a gun was held to your head about it--than the one he plays up with you, and she completely eats it up; thinks he's real fun to tease. his eyebrows wrinkle, an almost nothing frown, when she puts on a show with a trick that he can't immediately come to some conclusion about. he'll put on obnoxious rubber gloves to wash your dishes, to protect his manicured nails, as he goes down a dozen rabbit holes trying to reason out what he's missing. you've seen him doing casework. he's seen you delirious and half out of your mind. his mouth, in your experience, is soft.

you're kind of in the habit of liking assholes, too.

neither of these guys can be vulnerable for shit. over the course of seven years, they've seen each other as close to vulnerable as they can get, which isn't very, because this span of time especially--phoenix stubbornly keeping a little girl's head above the water, kristoph, for reasons we will never, ever understand, constantly looking over his shoulder--really doesn't see either of them in a place to get through any skin-flaying conversations about what they want with or from one another.

kristoph really does want control, though. he wants to be in control of things, have a handle on things. and he probably figured out something like immediately that phoenix wright really isn't the sort of guy you go to for that kind of thing. and yet! sunk cost fallacy's a bitch, kristoph! what good does a beautiful bluebird do you if you don't keep it with you on display heavy-handed. I know. don't I know it.

gonna rein myself in a little. because I'm off the deep end and you're posing really interesting ideas. kristoph couldn't rest for seven years because "shadi smith" was unaccounted for, out there somewhere. kristoph couldn't rest for seven years because he was scared for his life. "shadi smith" played a game of poker against the best and got whacked. and then murdered! tough luck!

really it's my curse. that so much of krisnix is personalized person to person, because of real aa5 shaped smoke and mirrors. because it gives me the space, the soapbox, the platform, microphone, and spotlight, to ask, In that trial, of the murder of Shadi Smith, where Kristoph Gavin was supposed to defend Phoenix Wright, what verdict was he looking to see through?

because I'm sick, you see. kristoph had just, finally, gotten rid of the man he spent so long being scared of, just clawed his way to the path out of the woods, and all he had to do was--

Have you ever stood at a crossroad. the decision laid out in front of you's not actually that tough, if you can believe it. even space for you to completely rationalize any attachments away: you get phoenix wright off (haha), you keep your reputation as the best defense in the west (opinions on the name notwithstanding), and you could, as a possibility to consider on occasion, maybe even learn how to have a slightly more-vulnerable-than-usual conversation.

or you could lose.

pretty simple choice to make, right?

and then phoenix goes and fucks it up, of course. dogs get restless with nothing to do. they want to be of use to you, kristoph, did you ever think to fucking ask phoenix for help? you come when called, you let yourself be persuaded, generously, to help keep food on the table. to keep a warm body company, one way or the other. to be some fucked up psychosexual approximation of a friend. but phoenix comes running when called, too, and you haven't once given him the chance.

big fucking stink you're in, kristoph! You didn't just brain a guy with a juice bottle for no reason. Tell me why you did it.

the big question you won't answer. five black psyche locks pulsing with a despair you don't have the tools to register. you said it already: I killed a man named "Smith" with a bottle because I am an evil human being.

what does phoenix hope to get out of this. motive for a murder, then what?

you really get me anon. phoenix never the kind of guy to give up on somebody he loves, up against someone who's finished with even arms length, stubborn as all get-out, and, even to himself, completely unsalvageable. irredeemable. an evil human being who killed a man named "smith" with a bottle.

it's not that phoenix would help kristoph hide a body. he pretty evidently did not do that. and it's not that phoenix would just forgive kristoph for trying to poison a twelve year old girl either. but there were seven full years between the disappearance of zak gramarye and the murder of "shadi smith", and vera misham hadn't been poisoned yet, and phoenix wright is an awfully loyal, terribly stubborn man himself.

I don't really know what the hell the lot of this means to tell you the truth. but I think now as much as ever that phoenix should chase kristoph's chance at life to the death, and I think that regardless of the stopping point on the line of time kristoph's last words to phoenix should be ...Later, then.

[ryleektv]

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚ 700 Like Celebration ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

This is honestly just because I need something to celebrate because I've had a really shitty few months and just found out my doctor is worried that on top of a useless immune system, I may have an underlying heart condition which is not ideal so we're celebrating 700 likes because 7 is my favorite number. I would also like to just say that I have no clue who originally made this kind of prompt list celebration thing since I just keep seeing it everywhere, but if anyone wants credit or I mistakenly copied a prompt (I'm literally just surfing Pinterest and my old writing for these prompts 😭) please let me know. Also an apology for flunking out on the Christmas fics.

RULES: Give me a mix of 1 to 3 prompts listed, specify what character you would like (options are Lorenzo Berkshire, Blaise Zabini, Theodore Nott, and Mattheo Riddle) and specify what genre(s) (smut, angst, fluff). Please be as specific as you can with what you want.

70 Prompts List:

1 - "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere." 2 - "I'll always come back to you." 3 - "That's it, you're doing it right, darling, don't worry." 4 - "You really just can't sit still, can you?" 5 - "Oh, c'mon, you weren't so shy earlier." 6 - "You have to be quiet now, love." 7 - "You can do better than me." "Yeah, but I want you anyway." 8 - "Yeah, that's definitely not how-" "Shut up?" "Yes, ma'am/sir." 9 - "I never meant to hurt you." 10 - "You know, you do stupid things so often I'm starting to think you know exactly what you're doing, and you're just a dick." 11 - "We are not getting a dog." "Yeah, I guess you're bitchy enough on your own." 12 - "I love you." "Oh." 13 - "Where are you going all dressed up?" 14 - "I've never loved anyone as much as I love you... I kind of scares me." 15 - "I won't ever forgive you for this." 16 - "I'll never forget you." 17 - "That sounds vaguely dirty, but thanks." 18 - "You really need to calm-" "Oh, you are so fucking done, buddy." 19 - "I think I'm attracted to your voice." 20 - "I love you, okay? But I'm not in love anymore." 21 - "Please, stay a little longer?" 22 - "Look at me." 23 - "Well, I'm not that person anymore, love." 24 - "But think of how cute our babies would be!" 25 - "We should buy a house, you and I." 26 - "I believe this is what they call the beginning of forever." 27 - "You're mine. I told you I don't like to share." 28 - "I am a God." "Someone needs to shoot at your fucking ego." 29 - "You should... come over." "Aren't your parents home?" "Yeah, but so what?" 30 - "Do you really love me?" 31 - "I want to show you how much I truly do adore you." 32 - "Can you like... not manipulate me?" "I fucking hate that it doesn't work on you." 33 - "Oh, this is so worth it." 34 - "Your makeup is about to be so fucked." 35 - "Honey, your daddy issues are showing." 36 - "This is, I assume, a result of your lack of maternal figure." 37 - "You're a different person and I hate it." 38 - "I do love you, I just don't know how to show you." 39 - "I can't love you when you don't love yourself." 40 - "You've got something on your face." 41 - "Would you slap me if I kissed you right now?" 42 - "I'm choosing you." 43 - "We'll figure it out together." 44 - "Just jam your knee right up into my crotch. This is fine." 45 - "So, are we technically dating now or what?" 46 - "Friends?" "With some added benefits?" 47 - "You don't have to talk if you don't want to, but please know that I am here for you whenever you need me." 48 - "You should at least take me out to dinner before you try to jump my bones, you crazy girl!" 49 - "You stole my spot!" "Oh my God, you're such a child." 50 - "Why do you care so much?" "I just do, okay?" "But why?" 51 - "You know I've waited forever for this." 52 - "You can't leave any marks." 53 - "I'm so proud of you." 54 - "I didn't know who else to go to." 55 - "Wanna see how good you really are at following instructions." 56 - "And you really wanna do this with me?" 57 - "I'm going to kill you." 58 - "What are you smiling at?" 59 - "You cannot rail someone's brains out and bring them food so nonchalantly... It's freaking me out." 60 - "See, you're doing so good for me." 61 - "One more?" 62 - "I've been thinking about last night..." 63 - "Did you mean to kiss me?" "Yes?" 64 - "You don't have to apologize." 65 - "Tonight. I'll pick you up at six. Dress formal." 66 - "Oh, love, you're going to have to beg for it this time." 67 - "I never told you to stop." 68 - "You want to go out for a drink sometime?" 69 - "Take what you need." 70 - "I'm all yours, darling."

[mcflymemes]

THE HANGOVER PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue from the 2009 film

it says here we should work in teams.

why don't we remember a goddamn thing from last night?

you're in for a real treat today.

i see guys like you in here every fucking day.

you found the car?

i just wish your friends were as mature as you.

i'm thinking about getting my bartender's license.

you're such a bad person.

you're actually gonna wear that, or are you just fucking with me?

by the way, we're all gonna die.

at least our trip wasn't a total loss.

hey, what's that on your arm?

would you shut up and drive before any of these nerds asks me another question?

this does not seem fair.

do i have any volunteers?

watch it, pervert!

that's not a purse. that's a satchel!

we had a great fucking time.

you're not really wearing that, are you?

we all do dumb shit when we're all fucked up.

why are you peppering the steak?

no chance. cash only.

what the fuck happened last night?

am i missing a tooth?

who does shit like that?

we're not even going to be in the room.

you just have to get to know them better.

this is my favorite part coming up now.

we don't want to call attention to ourselves.

you guys ready to let the dogs out?

it's no big deal.

we call this place "loserville."

you cool with that?

it's where i keep all my things.

trust me, it's not worth the fight.

your language is offensive.

don't let the beard fool you. he's a child.

what're you talking about?

indiana jones wears one.

you are a fucking moron.

you're an idiot.

where the hell are you? i'm freaking out.

let's go, handsome.

i don't think you should be doing too much gambling tonight.

it hurts too much.

i'm not cool with that.

now, it's real simple.

whatever happens tonight, i will never, ever, ever speak a word of it.

listen... uh. we fucked up.

are you sure you're qualified to be taking care of the baby?

who said anything about gambling?

pull yourself together, bro.

suck my dick.

all you got to do is point, aim, and shoot.

why would you go to las vegas?

you don't know for sure?

things got out of control.

i should have been a fucking cop.

seriously. i don't care what happens. i don't care if we kill someone.

i feel weird having to ask you twice.

can i ask you another question?

it's at the corner of get a map and fuck off.

you can do this. just focus.

that's not what you do.

i'm pretty sure that's illegal.

we're getting married in five hours.

if it's what i think it is, it's a big fucking mistake.

i can't afford to lose somebody close to me again.

this isn't the real caesar's palace is it?

i keep forgetting about the goddamn tiger.

it's not gambling when you know you're gonna win.

it's not illegal.

whose fucking baby is that?

you heard me!

i'm on your side!

yeah... that's not gonna happen.

i'm sick of doing what you want me to do all the time.

i shouldn't be here.

where'd you get that cop car from?

boy, you've got a sweet ride there.

don't listen to this maniac.

we're shit out of luck.

how's my hair?

it was a real pleasure meeting you.

what if he got out?

you are literally too stupid to insult.

there's a phone in your room.

oh, how cute.

do me a favor. don't text me. it's gay.

whatever this is ain't working for me.

you might not know this, but i consider myself a bit of a loner.

wait a second. could it be?

i stand corrected.

are you nuts?

i don't know you. you do not exist.

would you please put some pants on?

i hate godzilla! i hate him too!

that was once, and i was out of line.

this isn't your fault.

i'll get you some pants.

remember, what happens in vegas stays in vegas.

right in the nuts!

don't touch it. don't even look at it.

i say we delete it right now.

did you have to park so close?

i met you like four times.

that was beautiful! well done!

i'll hit an old man in public.

i want to find out how i went to the hospital.

we're going to be okay.

that's highly unlikely.

[sapphire-weapon]

what are your thoughts on the horniness and thirst around leon since the remake came out? and all of the content that comes with it (reader inserts, actual animated p0rn etc)? i saw some teens complaining that it was weird and 'ruining the fandom' - but i didn't really think anything of it since, yk, fandoms are gonna fandom, it is what it is (and it's leon so, it's not surprising).

i remember you mentioning that back in 2005, it was very hard for RE fans to talk abt leon outside of his relationship to ada, so i was also wondering how the fandom dealt with general leon-induced horniness back in the day

oh, this might be my favorite ask I've gotten in a while.

/gleefully rubs hands together

First off, teenagers need to shut the fuck up about the fandom. There used to be a time when you'd go into the Resident Evil tag here on Tumblr and you'd get a bunch of weird model viewer porn of Chris banging Dante or someshit. Early RE fandom was filled with a bunch of zombie-on-Jill (and later, Claire) porn. Sometimes it was even zombie dog porn. I don't wanna hear shit about anything porn-related from some fuckin kids who don't know just how depraved this fandom has been. This fandom was built on fucked up porn.

So, in a similar vein, that Leon thirst has always been there. Always, always, always. Do you think that Leon almost overthrew Chris as the face of Resident Evil because fans just... "liked his character"? NO. IT'S BECAUSE WE WANTED TO FUCK HIM. We wanted him in every hole, in every position, and we didn't care what we had to do to get Capcom to give him to us. The only reason why Chris was never dethroned was because the gays circled the wagons around him with RE5's release.

However.

Reader fics and self-inserts are a very new and recent phenomenon in fandom spaces. Even as recently as the mid-2010s, this was something unheard of. Fandom OCs were not okay. If you had a fandom OC, or if the fandom even suspected that you were self-inserting in any way, you got publicly shamed and sometimes even exiled from fandom spaces.

But there was one big, hypocritical problem with that mindset.

If you can't already see where this is going, let me help.

This is the reason why Aeon vs Cleon got as toxic and volatile as it was, back in the day.

Oh, yes. Fans would pick which of the two women they identified with more, and that ship became their vehicle for Leon smut. So, now, it wasn't just a ship. Now, it was personal -- because fans were using Ada or Claire to self-insert in a socially acceptable way. So, if someone rejected Cleon, and you were Team Cleon, chances are, you took that as someone saying "You're not good enough for Leon. You don't deserve him." -- even if you didn't consciously realize that that's what you were doing or how you were perceiving things.

Back in the days of LiveJournal, you found so many fics of just blatant OOC shit, because it wasn't really about Claire or Ada as characters. It never really was. Ada and Claire were just a means to the end goal that was Leon's cock.

So, if nothing else, modern-day fandom is a lot more honest.

Personally? I'll never be interested in reader fics because of how taboo it was for literally my entire life -- I will always see it as cringe, and I will always question that person's grasp on the line between fiction and reality, even though I know consciously that that's not fair for me to do, and that author isn't doing anything that I wasn't thinking about at their age. But prejudices gonna prejudice.

But I'm fucking stoked that I can talk openly about Leon's cock these days, and I don't have to filter it through some fucking ship that I don't care about. I can just sit here and say to you guys -- hey. I think Leon's into edging, and he secretly wants someone to make him beg, but he's too much of a control freak to allow it, so he just makes his partner beg instead. And no one fucking gives a shit!

It's so freeing. I'm so happy.

[yes0another0outsiders0blog]

Finally rereading The Outsiders like I said I would. I think I'll probably be doing a chapter a day, even though it's short enough that I could probably bust it out in one or two sittings. I'm really prone to burnout and I am trying to write a bit each day and I have a job to work and adult tasks to do and such, so a chapter sounds like a good goal with that considered.

Also, I'm sick as a fucking dog while reading this first chapter. Not relevant, just a little fun fact.

Anyway, have my thoughts while I read it!!

The Outsiders Reread : Chapter One Notes

less than a page in and I'm already tired of Ponyboy being Not Like The Other Girls

he's 14, that's positive, I should not be able to stomach a well-written 14 year old on account of them acting very 14, but also shut the fuck up

"yeah, I read books, unlike EVERYONE ELSE" go to hell

not to intentionally misread and water down a character, but Ponyboy saying "but sometimes I just don't use my head" is literally all you need to fucking know. that's it, that's the book

we get it, Pony, you come from a very hot family, yall are all conventionally attractive. paragraphs, ffs

also, I love that Soda doesn't drink. that he has a drunk on life attitude. could absolutely never be me, love that for him, unfortunately I fw Two-Bit's vibes with alcohol a bit more--

and the fact that Soda is the only one that can tease Darry.

there isn't a single positive thing said about Dallas besides "I didn't like him, but he was smart and you had to respect him." but frfr he's so great.

but if I met any of these fuckers irl Soda is the only one that I'd have a chance in hell at not hating. and that's only because he seems like he'd be enough of an emotionally/socially intelligent people-pleaser to actively try to get someone to like him, lol.

kinda salty about Johnny being called the gangs pet, wtf Ponyboy. not like he's one person's main reason to live, is SUCH fucking ride or die, later kills a man for Pony. but yeah, he's a pet. he tags along. what the fuck ever, man. if anything, Ponyboy (you know, the person that's mainly part of the gang bc he tags along with his older brothers, the BABY of the group, the quiet & sensitive one that doesn't have a single braincell outside of pure booksmarts) is the pet. like, sure, Johnny has trauma and is really quiet, but let's be so fr right now.

despite what is said in the book (bc it's Ponyboy's pov so we only get his perspective, obviously) I'm sure Darry gets after Soda too.

also, oldest children that become parental figures in some degree are allowed to be mean to their baby siblings. it's our right. as a 20-something year old with a young teen baby brother with common sense in the negatives, I am very biased in saying that Darry is always objectively 100% correct in every situation ever (heavily exaggerating, I just relate a lot).

forever mad that we don't get more Sylvia!!! my most random fav!!! so much love to her!!! she's basically an oc with how little we get of her and how many headcanons I have, I don't even really like the main fanon version of her either, but GOD she's my girl fr

NO BECAUSE WHEN I WAS 14 IF SOMEONE PULLED THEIR OWN KNIFE TO DO A DISSECTION THE WAY MY TONGUE WOULD BE DOWN THEIR THROAT. Ponyboy, babygirl, you did NOT deserve for that girl to hate on you like that. RUDE.

"Dallas deserves everything he gets, and should get worse, if you want the truth." agreed, that's my though process as I'm making the nastiest headcanons for him. my life's goal is to make this man suffer or make him into a loser, and all my hcs do both

breaks my heart so much how Ponyboy talks about Darry, leave my boy ALONE, dude!!!

my headcanons for Darry are usually the exact opposite of my hcs for Dally, I just want this guy to have the very best ong. I'll get so unrealistic with it too, bitch, YES I'll give you an absolutely stunning sugar mommy, babe!! just stop being stressed and stop having bad things happen for a few minutes!!! I almost struggle making in character, good headcanons for him because I just want to give him fluff and filler only and nothing else--