#( magenta & benji )

[boingdeguayava]

* 96. abcdefu de gayle.

"i was into you, but i'm over it now."

☁️ * starter para benji (previo) / @midncghts

[simothys]

hiii 1 vincent 15 + 19 wire and 20 roxy??

Vincent

1. What kind of person is your OC in a crisis? Are they calm and collected? Do they panic? Or are they chronically the cause?

Vincent tends to be calm! he's fairly organized & isnt afraid of taking charge in crisis. he is more confident when there is a concrete problem, honestly. put him in a calm social situation & he gets terribly shy

Wire

15. What places hold significant meaning or memories for your OC? Do they have a positive or negative association with those places?

Wire's got a lot of places in her memory - next to none of them good. but... its probably the good ones that stick out to her most. the football field when there's still dew on the track, and the percussion kids r practicing cadences. the jungle gym near Xochi's place at dusk. Xochi's house in general - the kitchen table where she learned to stop flinching at the sound of Mireya & Hank entering the house.

19. Has your OC ever had an experience with the paranormal or the divine? What happened? Was it a one time encounter or is it a normal part of their life? Did they find it terrifying or thrilling?

OH BOY HOWDY HAS SHE. YES. SHE IS CURRENTLY DOING SO. she is In Space there are Two Of Her they just killed a giant fucking lizard that flicked to the black & magenta "missing texture" thing when it died. her friends can do fuckin magic now??? this shit is TERRIFYING she wants her emotional support goth back Xochi where are you

Roxanne

20. Has your OC ever done something terrible and lied about it? Did they run away or blame someone else? How long did they maintain the lie, and did the truth ever come out?

SHE SURE HAS. Roxanne killed her husband, changed her whole identity, and hasnt stopped running since. the truth Never came out. at least, not to anyone who would persecute her for it.

HI BENJI THANK YOU!!!!

[ask-armand]

Okay so Armand I have a very serious question

If you and everyone else (Marius, Louis, Daniel, Lestat and the likes) were to perform a version of the Rocky Horror Show, who would play who?

I have some ideas but I really want to see what you think!

This is a very exciting question, anonymous. Lestat and I have had several arguments about which of us would play Dr. Frank N. Furter. I've argued that my experience doing actual mad science is more relevant than Lestat's experience as an actor and rock star. He disagrees. But here's my cast list:

Frank- Me

Rocky- Lestat

Janet- Bianca

Brad- Daniel

Riff Raff- Benji (he looked over my shoulder as I was writing this and asked me for this role for some reason)

Magenta- Sybelle

Columbia- Jesse

Eddie- A random mortal man who we will actually kill

Dr. Scott- Marius

the Criminologist- Louis (I asked him and this was the only role he would agree to)

Happy Halloween!

[euphorial-docx]

hiii!!!! anything on spinal landscapes?? snippet or otherwise 💕💕💕

And then hands were on his hips, and Benjy was leaning in close to whisper, “Relax.”

“I am relaxed,” Regulus retorted, eyes stuck on Benjy’s lips. Stuck on the touch, the smell, the everything. He was stuck on everything.

And he was relaxed, in a way. He felt his anxiety melting away under the magenta lights, the music forcing it out, his mind intoxicated with alcohol and something more. Something worse that didn’t feel worse.

“Yeah?” Benjy questioned, a hand on Regulus’s jaw. They were closer, still moving to the music. Not a single person looked twice at them.

Regulus lifted his gaze to Benjy’s eyes, engraved by the colors reflecting in them. “Yeah.”

(ask game)

[unknownjpegs]

rosewood

The throne is massive. Gaudy and grandiose in a manner that suggests, without question, the standing of Benji’s predecessor. He will be so glad to bring in a round-table, chairs simply crafted and of equal height. One for him, for Sunshine, for Peril, for Xavier, for Tino, for Mouse. For Matilda, even, although it usually sits empty. 

More seats for whatever company wishes to claim a spot. As long as they have true intentions and the good of this community at heart, he will turn no one away. There will be no throne, nor even head of the table. Despite his new station, Benji refuses to sit at either.

“You would think with all that at hand, they would have more taste. Why do the nobility waste their vaults of coin on…ugliness?” He asks the knight at his side — the knight always at his side.

“What else are you to do with vaults of coin?” Xavier laughs. His head tilts back, hair falling wildly free from the bun at his nape. 

Benji quite enjoys the picture he makes, as well as the confidently poised, gloved hand resting on the hilt of that hip-sheathed sword. He always looks so regal even out of all that gleaming armor. And yet, in this moment, he wears but a simple beige linen shirt and trousers. Boots muddy from the morning rain, trail behind him in the greatroom, stains upon the finely dyed carpet. 

Benji adores him for so many reasons, could not count them if he tried. But he is particularly smitten with that simple action: leaving stains. A slight mean streak, his brave-hearted knight, and Benji would not have it any other way.

“Well, I think it has a certain charm.” 

“You cannot possibly be serious, Xavier.”

The seat of the thing could fit them both, side by side, it’s that big. 

Rosewood, Matilda had sneered mournfully upon seeing it for the first time. Rare and with such beneficial properties when left to live in peace. Look, the beautiful grey skin of it, how it bleeds in the center? What a beast he was to craft it from rosewood.

It is truly a splendid color. Rich and dark like the standard mahogany of nobility, but washed with a magenta-red, as if stained by blood. Benji wonders if it has been. It rises near to the ceiling, gray trim and streaks of molten silver poured into where the wood has splintered in several places. That’ll be pulled out before the rest burns — Peril always needs more elements for their research, and he’d rather it go to the observatory to be used, rather than sell it off to line the kingdom’s coffers further.

Xavier leaps the stairs leading up to it, taking two at a time with his long legs.

“Be careful,” Benji laughs, “do not wet it with your filthy fucking boots. It’s to be firewood.”

“Pity,” Xavier says, throwing himself on the wide seat. He tips his head back, hair mussed as it presses against the garish thing. His green eyes are on the winding branches that coil like snakes from the very top of it, appreciating the fine texture of carved leaves. 

Benji, of course, has his eyes on Xavier. The throne looks a mite less insipid with him sitting upon it, crown of hair nearly blending in with the bleeding wood, pale hands stark as they tap along one of the velvet-covered armrests.

Benji looks at him. Looks and looks and looks. He could do it forever and still not feel as though their lost time has been even marginally supplemented. 

But Xavier say pity. Pity, with none of the word’s accompanying emotion. Instead, it coils with a sort of breathiness that makes Benji believe it is not grief for beautiful craftsmanship gone to waste. 

And wouldn’t it be such waste, to have this ornamenting go unappreciated? 

He grew up valuing every resource, after all, and wastefulness was not one of the lessons Tino bestowed upon him.

Besides his own raised virtues, he finds motivation in how Xavier pushes out his bottom lip slightly, gazing down at him from that seat. Coy. His heart catches, squeezes.

“Just seems a shame for it not to be used one last time.”

Benji sighs, as if it is some great burden to acquiesce, and begins to climb the stairs. He has so many demands being made of him, these days. So many burdens. But it has never — will, never — be an encumbrance to make Xavier smile. He is weak to any sort of request from that mouth. And sometimes they need not even be verbalized. Sometimes, he knows them before they become sound. This is one of those instances. In his head, I am going to fuck you on it, before Xavier even says:

“You should fuck me on it.”

So it’s how they end up. Appreciating the craftsmanship, of course. In reality, the rubbish-fated throne is merely a set piece to debauchery than anything else. 

And what debauchery it is, Benji thinks, heavy tongue touching his bottom lip as he regards the body beneath him. As he looks.

I thought you dead. He leans forward, pulling his hips back, touches his nose to the spot at Xavier’s temple where his hair begins to twine into a braid. He smells like now: sweat and skin and metal and leather. Smells like then: hay and spring-dew wetted flowers and the decades old musty wood of that barn.

Crawled from grave and memory, he pushes back in slowly. Savors the feeling of a warm body around him and the twist of pleased emotion that furrows that red brow. Crawled back so that we can make new ones. Like this.

“Fuck,” Xavier gasps, tossing his head back and baring his throat. Then, as if he can read Benji’s spectacularly melodramatic thoughts, demands: “Like that, oh. Yes. Y-Yes, c’mon.”

Fuck, he agrees, what a memory it’ll be. 

Wanting to make it a good one for Xavier too, he laughs and moves as requested. Keeps his thrusts agonizingly slow but impactful, forcefully hard right as their bodies meet.

He is ruining them both with it, and knows this will not last long. Like every time they come together in this manner, it is simply that maddening.

Maddening. The good sort. One that Benji has not been so accustomed to, over the years.

The initial months of mourning Xavier’s absence had been, to mince words for fear of falling into those memories instead of this one, absolutely fucking maddening. 

Benji had been a little…well, Tino, in all his infinite kindness and sympathy, would not have called it dramatic. But Benji would — does. Nights gazing up at the stars, tears in his eyes; sitting out on the fence contemplating the treeline, wondering if perhaps a red mess of hair might just pop out of it like nothing had ever happened, arm raised in a wave. Eventually falling into muscle memory, eventually stop gazing up at the sky, at the treeline.

He’d also mourned in other, less morose yet just as consumptive ways. 

Xavier’s touch lingered as even the years dragged, made him seek out warm flesh in an effort to remember the sensation better. And yet skin was never properly pale, veins in wrists too blue, nor hair ever as sweetly flaming. No matter how much he tried, none of it had been satiating. None of it had ever come close to —

To this. He pulls himself willfully from the spiral back into the moment. Because it’s such a good one, Benji smirks. Loud, too. He hopes the staff hears and knows to stay away, any guards stationed beyond the great doors are dutifully at a distance. Because Xavier — 

His air catches at the end of every thrust, hitches silent for half a second, then winds out of him in a breathless ah or filthy outright moan. Sometimes they spin long enough for the next punch of Benji’s hips to catch them half-way, knocking high into a whine, and it’s…he’s…

Well, this will not be long at all. Not for him, and certainly not for Xavier. He has fallen from that ragged peak once already, spilled messy over a brown fist and his own stomach. It cools there, pooled and sticky in creases of freckled skin as Benji folds him further in half. Draws his attention, that mess.

Sweat beads off his forehead and drips from his temple, swings off and lands in a streak down Xavier’s collarbone in a tempting rivulet. Messy.

He halts, ignoring the questioning whine, to swipe at it with his thumb. To rub it in, he recognizes the possession with cheeks that heat until his face feels as if it’s too close to a fire.

“Sometimes,” he breathes, “I wish I would have waited for you to come back.” Waits for Xavier’s eyes to slip open, darkened and addled, to start moving again. “Although it might not have been this good, huh?” Is it good? Say it is. “We both would have fumbled through it.” 

He doesn’t elaborate on the context. And would not need to, it seems, because recognition flashes soft across the pale face (the right pale, veins the right blue, hair the right color) below him. 

 Xavier has his fingers wrapped behind his knees, spreading himself obscenely open, but now he grins and lifts them to fit around Benji’s neck. Pulls him down close, until their noses brush, their panting breath mingles.

“Woulda, ha, would have been happy to fumble with you.” 

Well. And how is he supposed to behave, after that? The thrusts are no longer slow, like bloodied sap dripping from a rosewood. 

Xavier becomes louder still, if at all possible, and drops one hand to his mouth. Crescents of red form around his knuckles as his teeth sink in, fist held loosely beneath a rabid bite of his own making. His eyes are wet at the edges now, fluttering like they want to slip entirely shut, but he seems intent on keeping them open. Drives Benji so fucking mad to feel them locked on his, occasionally blinking dizzy across his face, down their chests, and further, where —

Benji snaps his hips again just to watch those eyes roll, the pale legs tossed over his elbows tensing.

“Xavier, ah,” he pants roughly, swallowing around emotion and the rough edge of arousal stuck in his throat. “Not a barn, but just as good…?”

And the poor man is certainly in no state to manage words, but what he does find the capacity for is a bright, panting smile. 

Brighter, he notes, then even the eye-burning blaze of flame that licks the throne into ash at the celebratory bonfire later that evening. Standing between Chef and Peril, Xavier catches his eye over its rising red-orange peaks. He winks.

Barn or throne room, looking back or looking ahead. It matters not. They have their strange patchwork family. They have each other.

[poofesurex]

sᴘᴀᴄɪᴀʟ sᴀᴅɴᴇss

do not repost ♡ benji dunn

[waterfallfallingforeveragain]

[clonehighjoansieofarc]

lolololol kinda basic questions but i am Genuinely Intrigued: what are their favorite colors? what do they want to be when they grow up? how tall are they?

these r all for the fankids btw 😳

Juliet - magenta

Noelle - pastel yellow and pastel blue.

Benji - neon colors

Riley - sage green and navy blue

Juliet - an actress!! Juliet is destined for the silver screen. Oooh, does she have the dramatics, beauty, and confidence to boot. Ever since Jules learned her mother made films, Juliet had begged for her mother to let her be in one forever until the age of 16; she said: “Okay, okay fine, fine god you're persistent like your father.” Riley and Benji call Juliet a drama queen. Juliet goes, “Omg, you think so?! :o” She’s the president of the Drama Club, so she has a good amount of experience and loves playing any role, may it be the lead, the side character, or even the villain as long as she has her chance in the spotlight.

Noelle - a singer!! Baby’s got the voice of an angel, but she has to work on her confidence if she wants to be on the stage. Noelle loves to sing in the shower, and Cleo often overhears her daughter. She’ll burst into the bathroom talking about how Noelle could take her talent to the next level, but for now, Noelle sings in the shower or the comfort between Juliet and Benji. Benji loves to dance (much like his dad), so as Noelle sings, Benji will jam out in wicked cool moves.

Benji - a comedian!! Oh, my fuck, this guy is chock full of endless jokes and skits. You’ll never be bored around him! Sure, Benji is a handful, and his jokes are occasionally dark humor that sets an uneasy and awkward atmosphere in the group, but if you’re ever in a gloomy mood, Benji will always be there to lift your spirits. When Benji told his dads he wanted to be a comedian, Gandhi was over the moon excited for his son while Van Gogh was a little concerned but still supportive. Van Gogh made a joke that Benji would tell funnier jokes than his dad, which got Gandhi very upset (not really; he just started to cry and begged Van Gogh to take it back.)

Riley - a historian!! As soon as the kids found out they're sons and daughters of historical figures (thanks to Juliet’s visions), Riley wanted to immerse herself in history and what makes up her DNA. Riley and her father don’t have a picture-perfect relationship, but that doesn’t mean Abe doesn't try to get close to his daughter. When Abe finds out that Riley wants to be a historian, he talks to her about who they are as people (well, clone and the reproductive product of that clone) and the history that flows through them. Riley is a skeptical girl that asks a lot of questions, so when she finds out that Juliet can see and speak to ghosts (historical figures, really), Riley begs her to ask them questions beyond what is written in textbooks, much too Juliet’s annoyance.

Juliet - 5’3

Noelle - 5’ 1

Benji - 5’4

Riley - 5’6

[cowboy-anon]

Welcome to the Apple-Verse

Meet the Apple-sonas! (16 and counting!)

In the event that you have no idea what I’m talking about, long story short, we started talking about Apple the Whumpee AUs. Thus Banana and Orange were born! And then we got to talking and we got to Tree! And then Lettuce! And then Radish. And Wine. And-- look, just check out below to learn about them all lol.

CW: Alcohol/alcoholic, blood, implied dissociation, degrading language, DUB-CON mention, emotional manipulation, exhaustion, fire, flaying (skinning) mention, inadvertent manslaughter, institutionalized slavery, low self esteem, kinda masochist whumpee, minor whumpee (not anymore but was), neglect, NON-CON mention, parental death mention, pet whump, poor self care, self harm, Stockholm Syndrome, torture mention, “would rather die” than do something

-> Dub-con and Non-con mentions apply to Wine and his universe’s Benji. Briefly mentioned and not at all in depth, but please proceed with caution. (Second-to-last Apple-sona on the list.)

OG Apple

Sweet boy Apple who can do no wrong. Lovely green hair, is obsessed with Clay, who hates him. Master of persuading himself Clay’s neglect is for good reason. Would die before admitting otherwise.

Banana

Yellow haired Apple, has a little bit of common sense in the form of a voice in the back of his head telling him he deserves better. Very often ignores said voice, is widely considered the weakest of all the Apples. On the plus side, Clay likes Banana more than Apple’s Clay likes him.

Orange

Orange haired Apple, so blind to the neglect he doesn’t even have to rework it in his head to justify the action. It just is. Orange’s Benji very much worries for him.

Tree

Apple the gentle giant. Still very much obsessed with Clay but terrified of him too. Also obsessed with Marvel movies. Loves saying “I am Groot” jokingly but absolutely introduces himself as “I am Tree.” Lowkey annoys the bejesus out of his Benji.

Lettuce

The Apple of Health Nut Clay. Is forced to exercise to near exhaustion and does so happily. Is secretly jealous of Benji, who is dissected for being the “near perfect” human pet. Self harms in the form of skinning.

Radish

Apple with reddish-pink hair, was actually chosen as a stress reliever by and for Clay. It’s not so much neglect as straight up torture. Almost always covered in blood, terrifies the Benji in that AU and is used to scare them straight.

Watermelon

Apple with split hair dye, half reddish-pink, half green, with an entirely black wardrobe. Cares very little about what his Clay thinks of him. The same goes for his punishments. Is very attached to his Benji though.

Coconut

Apple with iridescent hair. Considered the prettiest of the Apple-sonas, his Clay practically worships him. He’s punished sensibly and made “pretty,” and Coconut kind of likes it. Resident misunderstood Apple-sona.

Pomegranate 

Apple with pink hair. Spontaneous and horrible at planning. Tries to please his Clay with a combination of gut feeling and a lack of common sense. Very often misreads the room and ends up infuriating his Clay more than anything else.

Cow

Apple with cow print hair. Yes, I am aware he’s not named after a plant lol. Not as infatuated with his Clay as the rest of the Apple-sonas. Has a bull-like temper but is very easygoing otherwise and has a soft spot for outsider Apple-sonas. Has a gold septum piercing and ear tag (like a cow) and is the best of all the Apple-sonas at applying hair dye.

Dragon Fruit 

Apple with reddish-pink hair and plenty of light blond highlights. A pyromancer who lost his parents in a fire of his own creation. Hates his powers and hides them from Jimmy, who is trying to help him through his internalized traumas. Very much wants to help others but is afraid of hurting them.

Cactus Pear

Apple with dark magenta hair. Known for his prickly and standoffish nature. Is very affectionate towards his Clay, who treats him very well but also emotionally manipulates him into believing he’s the only one who’ll ever love him. Incredibly dependent on Clay but also very lonely. A hopeless romantic.

Elppa

Apple with bright red hair. Also lived the opposite of Apple’s life. The salesman saved him, Clay cared for him, and Jimmy is the one who kidnaps and tortures him. Doesn’t understand the other Apple-sonas’ hatred towards their Clays. Dislikes most of them greatly because of it.

Fig

Apple with long, purple to pink ombre hair. Selectively mute and has a very pronounced slouch from his four years with the salesman. Was then sold to Clay and preened. Began speaking again. However, he was only cleaned up to be sold again. In Jimmy’s care, began to regress. Still exhibits muteness. Winner of the ‘Saddest Apple-sona Prize.’

Peach “Star Fruit”

Apple with peach hair. Very similar to OG Apple but has an extreme passion for astrology. Very quiet, shy, and self conscious about said passion. However, after gushing about it, he earns himself the nickname “Star Fruit“ amongst the Apple-sonas.

Cherimoya

Apple with natural hair. *gasp* Was born into the system, trained and groomed and kept unmarked and adorable so that when their owner finally got a hold of them, they’d be lovely to break. Jimmy “saved” them before that. Now they live with Jimmy, naive and with no real understanding of how the world works. Very much only wants to please their Jimmy despite Jimmy’s best efforts to show them they’re human, not a pet.

Wine

Apple with dark red hair, the Apple of Alcoholic Clay. Alcoholic Clay regularly is intimate with Benji, who is usually unresponsive, so when he is especially tipsy, he goes to Wine, who actually very much enjoys their time together because Stockholm Syndrome. Afterwards, however, Clay always gripes about how disgusting Wine is, leaving Wine very confused but also very much in love.

Bonus - Dirt

Pet Clay AU. An outcast like Coconut. Is a frightened and skittish whumpee and very obedient. So beat up and ruined that the other Apple-sonas barely recognize him.

Headcanons by the Official Apple Party Headcanoner

(x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x)

Apple-sona Art!

All the Apple-sonas to Date! / Star Fruit (x) / Cow (x) (x) / Lychee (x) /

[winkingwitch]

◜     ┈     ♡     welcome     benjy     ...    the     winking     witch     has     been     anticipating     your     arrival.          i     would     show     face     in     the     great     hall     within     24     hours     or     risk     facing     her     magenta     wrath.

◜  michael  evans  behling  ,  trans  man  ,  twenty - one  .  ◞       ┈       through     her     all - seeing     crystal     ball,     [     𝚁𝙴𝙳𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙴𝙳     ]     has     her     winking     eye     trained     on     benjy     fenwick.          the     ever - diligent     seventh     year     is     infamous     for     his     stoic    ways,      but     something     new     seems     to     be     weighing     our     resident     eternal     runner - up     down.          a     rumor     is     spreading     through     these     ancient     halls     like     fiendfyre,      &     even     their     brave     face     can't     save     them     from     the     flames.          he     can     try     to     drown     out     their     sorrows     to     the     tune     of     plot line,      but     emlyn     can't     fix     everything      ⏤      much     less     something     as     grim     as     [     𝚁𝙴𝙳𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙴𝙳    ].          but     ten     points     to     ravenclaw     for     trying.

[thechoir-roomhq]

IT’S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN! 

lima’s annual halloween carnival has rolled into town! from october 26th through the 31st, the carnival will be in town with a variety of events and performances. as per tradition, mckinley students have been tasked with assisting in running the carnival and snagging a few community service hours. please read below for more information!

BASIC INFORMATION: 

Ticket Cost: $10.00 (concessions not included)

Times: M-T: 5pm to 11pm F-S: 5 pm to 2 am

EVENTS AND ATTRACTIONS:

Free Face Painting ( sponsored by the Cheerios )

Haunted Hayride ( sponsored by the Mckinley Football, Soccer, Hockey, and Baseball teams with Special Effects provided by the A/V Club )

Photo Booth ( sponsored by the Yearbook Committee )

Concessions and Tickets ( sponsored by Student Council )

Kissing Booth ( sponsored by Celibacy Club )

Apple Bobbing

Corn Maze 

Ring Toss, Balloon Darts, and Other Games!

Ferris Wheel, Tilt-A-Whirl, and Other Rides!

Costume Contest (10/31)

And Nightly Performances By: 

New Directions: 2 Song Set List (10/26)  Crawford Canaries: 2 Song Set List (10/27)  Trouble Tones: 2 Song Set List (10/28)  Dalton Warblers: 2 Song Set List  (10/29) Drama Club: Rocky Horror @ Midnight (10/30)  Vocal Adrenaline: 2 Song Set List (10/31)

MCKINLEY DRAMA CLUB’S PRODUCTION OF ROCKY HORROR 

The Drama Club will be hosting a live production alongside the movie at Midnight Friday night! The Cast is as follows. The Drama Club could use your help! Please contact the main to snag a role for your character! 

Brad Majors: Trace Hummel-Anderson

Janet Weiss: Poppy Del Monico

Dr. Frank ‘N’ Furter: Stevie Beckett

Riff Raff: Leo McCarthy

Columbia: Winnie Karofsky 

Rocky Horror: Open Joey Hummel-Anderson

Eddie: Open Stanford Beckett 

Dr. Everett Scott: Open Benji Lynn

Magenta: Serenity Gillenkerk

The Narrator: Open 

Trixie: Open Link Clarington Smythe

OOC INFO

members! feel free to get creative with this event coming up next week! clubs that are performing, please be in contact with the main regarding what the setlist looks like. it’s safe to assume that there are other members in these clubs who will be running the booths, so it is up to you if your character will work the carnival halloween night, or attend the halloween house party. have fun, get creative, and we can’t wait to see how you all utilize this event!

[tabloidtoc]

OK, April 17

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: The Robin Williams nobody knew -- his last words, inner struggles and loving heart 

Page 1: Big Pic -- Scott Disick lifts daughter Penelope and plays with her cousins Saint West and North West and a pal 

Page 2: Contents 

Page 4: Julianne Hough and Brooks Laich’s second chance -- just two months after separating Brooks and Julianne are giving their marriage another shot 

Page 6: After years of rumors regarding her well-being Britney Spears is preparing to set the record straight on a TV chat or podcast interview 

Page 7: Buzz has been building for months over the possibility of Matthew McConaughey running for governor of his home state of Texas, Elizabeth Hurley has openly drooled over George Clooney and his wife Amal Clooney isn’t happy about it, Charlize Theron may seem intimidating to some but not stuntwoman Dayna Grant -- everyone knows how Charlize is an acquired taste and isn’t too social in Hollywood and it’s a breath of fresh air for Charlize to have a genuine friendship

Page 8: Kathie Lee Gifford is mourning the recent death of her dear friend and colleague Regis Philbin and plans to team up with his widow Joy Philbin to honor him in any way she can, Kristen Stewart was nervous enough when she signed up to portray Princess Diana in the upcoming biopic but her anxieties have only worsened because of her touch and go romance with screenwriter Dylan Meyer, fresh off her 79th birthday Martha Stewart is upping her efforts to find a sexy new suitor and she’s turned to close pal Snoop Dogg to help make that happen 

Page 10: Red Hot on the Red Carpet -- from blush to magenta stars rock pretty pink frocks -- Regina King, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Lashana Lynch 

Page 11: Cynthia Erivo, Sarah Hyland, Laura Dern 

Page 12: Who Wore It Better? Olivia Munn vs. Kris Jenner, Minka Kelly vs. Hailee Steinfeld

Page 13: Gwyneth Paltrow vs. Chloe Bennet 

Page 14: News in Photos -- Brooke Shields works out in her backyard in the Hamptons 

Page 16: Tallulah Willis and her mom Demi Moore both don pieces from her new clothing line Wyllis, pregnant Katy Perry showed off her baby bump at the beach in Santa Barbara, Tom Felton skateboarding in a Venice park 

Page 17: Madelaine Petsch and her dog Olivia, Demi Rose 

Page 18: Ashley Benson and G-Eazy hold hands while hiking, Jon Bon Jovi lip-synching, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson crafting with daughters Jasmine and Tiana 

Page 19: Elsa Hosk on a weekend getaway, Brody Jenner and his dog, Chrissy Teigen and daughter Luna were twins 

Page 20: Catching Rays -- whether for work or plays stars are spending the season outdoors -- Dorit Kemsley in a water-gun fight with her kids, Bella Hadid shot a campaign for Michael Kors in L.A., DJ Khaled on his custom Sea-Doo 

Page 21: Christina Milian and boyfriend Matt Pokora in St. Tropez, Ireland Baldwin with her dog on the beach, Shanina Shaik on vacation in St. Tropez 

Page 22: Carol Alt at the Filming Italy Sardegna Festival

Page 23: Katie Holmes picked up some CeraVe while running errands, Hannah Ann Sluss waited for a cab in L.A. 

Page 24: Jenna Johnson and Val Chmerkovskiy’s love nest -- the pair are slowly but surely settling into their new abode 

Page 26: Take It Easy -- your favorite stars share their secrets for staying cool calm and collected -- Elizabeth Hurley, Jennifer Aniston, Selena Gomez, Heidi Klum, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley 

Page 28: Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner’s first days as parents to daughter Willa 

Page 29: Though movie buffs were excited to hear that The Pelican Brief’s Julia Roberts and Denzel Washington would be reuniting 27 years later to star in the upcoming Netflix drama Leave the World Behind but the casting news didn’t sit well with Julia’s husband Danny Moder, though Jim Carrey and Renee Zellweger ended their romance two decades ago Jim recently confessed that Renee was the great love of his life and before the interview he quietly reached out to her in hopes of rekindling their friendship and maybe more but Renee isn’t eager to jump into a relationship right now, it’s only been seven months since Cameron Diaz and Benji Madden welcomed their daughter Raddix via surrogate but the pair are already thinking about baby No. 2 

Page 30: Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are hunting for property in the California countryside to set up a home and a working farm, since Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel hit a rough patch last November he’s agreed to draft a midterm agreement to help Jess feel more secure in their marriage -- Justin’s pledged that any proven cheating will result in Jessica getting the lion’s share of their assets as well as primary custody of the kids, Love Bites -- Ciara and Russell Wilson welcomed their second child together, Tarek El Moussa and Heather Rae Young engaged, Vanessa Morgan announced she’s expecting a son in January then three days later the baby’s father Michael Kopech filed for divorce 

Page 32: Cover Story -- Robin Williams’ untold story -- Robin’s meteoric rise and heartbreaking fall six years after his tragic death 

Page 36: Sandra Bullock’s wedding joy -- Sandra secretly wed longtime love Bryan Randall in a superromantic ceremony on her birthday 

Page 38: Reality Bites -- these stars got their first moments in the spotlight appearing on unscripted TV shows -- Cardi B, Lady Gaga, Kesha 

Page 39: Emma Stone, Aaron Paul, Jamie Chung, Laverne Cox, Josh Henderson 

Page 40: Interview -- Ellie Goulding -- music therapy -- the British singer explores her darker side on her latest album 

Page 42: Gisele Bundchen fit at 40 -- find out how Gisele got into the best shape of her life 

Page 43: Forty Never Looked So Good -- see how these supersvelte stars who also turned the big 4-0 this year stay in shape -- Jordana Brewster, Olivia Munn, Zooey Deschanel, Kristen Bell 

Page 46: Style Week -- Olivia Culpo’s collaboration with Prive Revaux 

Page 50: Sassy school-year must-haves -- Storm Reid 

Page 52: Dorm Decor -- Kiernan Shipka 

Page 54: Entertainment 

Page 55: Q&A with Damian McGinty 

Page 58: Buzz -- Rebel Wilson trying to lose weight in 2020 

Page 60: Sound Bites -- Jennifer Aniston reacting to her Emmy nomination for The Morning Show, Prince William on the worst gift he’s ever given Duchess Kate, Melissa Gorga on teen daughter Antonia, Mark-Paul Gosselaar on rewatching Saved By the Bell for his new podcast, Catherine Zeta-Jones on how she and Michael Douglas will celebrate their 20th anniversary this fall 

Page 61: Trista Sutter on why The Bachelorette ends in more lasting relationships than The Bachelor, Andy Cohen on auditioning for a role on Sex and the City, Billy Eichner tweeting about Taylor Swift’s new album Folklore 

Page 62: Horoscope -- Leo Charlize Theron turned 45 on August 7 

Page 64: By the Numbers -- Zachary Quinto

[hitchell-mope]

(First film. Coronation. Audrey’s grabbed the wand and is pointing it at Mal. Ben Jay Carlos Doug Evie Lonnie Jane and Verna are standing in front of Mal protectively)

Audrey: she told me everything. Why would any of you do this. Why would any of you protect that

(Jay’s eyes glow dangerously)

Ben: Audrey it’s not what you think.

Audrey: alright benji. Enlighten me. Tell me why I shouldn’t blast her face in

Ben: I knew.

Audrey: I know.

Mal: I told her everything

Evie: well. We’re fucked

Mal (addressing the court): my friends and I were sent here to steal the wand

Leah: I knew it!

Evie: SHUT UP YOU OLD BAG! Go on Mal

Mal: but a month in. I decided. No. Why would we want to steal the wand. Our parents were probably gonna kill us regardless of what we did cause we “fulfilled our purpose”.

Audrey (smiling sweetly): I’m sorry. Is this supposed to make me feel sorry for the backwards circus freak that ruined my life AND STOLE MY BOYFRIEND FROM ME

Ben: Audrey I wasn’t yours to be stolen from. And I broke up with you.

Audrey: because it tricked you. She showed me the book but she probably ripped the pages out herself

Mal: pages that were burned/see yourself now returned

(Nothing happens)

Mal: see. I can’t summon something. Or create something. That doesn’t already or no longer exist. And my mother was very clear. No one could ever love me.

Ben: your mother was wrong.

Audrey: nah. She was right. Villains are incapable of being loving or being loved.

Jay: choose you next words very. Very. Carefully. “Princess”

Audrey: exactly. I’m the princess. That’s the evil witch. Who must be destroyed. Bibbidi bobbidi boo

(A bright pink light zaps its way to Mal. She flinches. Her own magic constructs a shield that deflects the light. It ricochets around the room sending people scattered. And then fly’s our of a stained glass window. Directly at the barrier)

(On the island)

Jafar: what was that?

Maleficent: freedom. Fare thee well. I will come back for you. Maybe. Maybe not

(Purple smoke envelopes her and she disappears. Back in the cathedral the lights are extinguished and the smoke reforms into Maleficent who immediately freezes the adults in the room)

Mal: mother

Evie: like I said. We’re fucked.

Maleficent: well. Well. Quite a glittering assemblage king Adam. The nobility. The gentry. And. Oh. How quaint. (Looking straight at Audrey). Even the rabble

(Mal gets between her mother and the princess)

Maleficent: now don’t be stupid child. Because I will thoroughly enjoy how this ends either way

Mal: I won’t let you hurt her. Or any of my friends

Audrey: I’m not your friend I hate you

Carlos: Audrey. I’m literally begging you. Quit while you’re ahead. BEFORE you’re just a head.

Mal: Jay?

Jay: on it.

(In a flash of gold smoke Ben Lonnie Doug Carlos Chad and Audrey vanish)

(In the basement)

(Chad’s in the foetal position rabbiting on about war movies. Ben’s trying to kick the door open. Audrey’s ranting about how she knew she was right. Carlos stalks up to her and slaps her around the face so hard she falls to the floor)

Carlos (in a very low very angry growl): listen here you Carmelita Spats wannabe my friends are trying to save your sorry ass so the least you could do is shut the fuck up

(Audrey cries louder. Carlos almost kicks her in the face but Doug and Lonnie stop him)

Doug: C no

Lonnie: she’s not worth it.

Carlos: I know but it’d make me feel a helluva lot better

Audrey: see my friends. My friends always help. Doug

Doug: no.

Audrey: what?

Doug: heh heh. I’m not your friend Audrey. According to you I’m just an unimportant half breed that’s not fit to breathe the same air as you let alone look or talk to you. There’s no use in you trying to expunge that now

Audrey: Lonnie! Lonnie’s my friend.

Lonnie: no, Audrey. We’re not friends. The only reason anyone ever hangs around you is because they like Ben. So no. We’re not friends

Audrey: Ben please

Ben: Audrey please be quiet I’m trying to open this room I can help my girlfriend and her family

Carlos: face it. You’re not as big a hotshot as you think you are. All you are is a stupid stuck up little brat who needs to learn how to shut her mouth

(Back upstairs)

Maleficent: come on child. Give me the wand

Mal: no.

Maleficent (eyes starting to glow): give me. The wand

Mal: no

Maleficent (trying a different approach): Mal h h honey. Remember this is for us

Mal: no it’s not. It’s for you. You want this. And it is not my job to make you feel better. And it’s not my fault you were there. Yes Leah Stefan and Hubert should have invited you. But did you have to curse an innocent baby?

Maleficent: that “baby” as you put it ensured myself insomnia for 16 years

Mal: because you can’t let things go. It has to be your way or they die

Evie (under her breath): like we’re about to

Maleficent: correct. But first. Let me just. Break this down for you. You need me my dear. I am the only one who will ever love you. And you my darling little princess. Just think of what your mother will say when she finds out you couldn’t land a prince and instead settled for a subhuman replacement. As for you oh handsome one. What will happen to the boy when you’re in lamp and can no longer help him?

(Jay lunges at her)

Mal and Evie: Jay no!

Evie: don’t give her an edge

(Maleficent has spotted Jane cowering behind her immobilised mother)

Maleficent: ooh. Hello dear. Tell me. Do you want to give me the wand? I bet you do. Oh I can see you’re scared. But don’t worry. I won’t harm you. I can tell my daughter is fond of you. That’s why I’ll let her destroy you herself

(Just then Carlos Doug Lonnie and ben come burying out of the basement followed by chad and Audrey who hightail to the exit. Maleficent grabs Audrey and lifts her up by the neck)

Maleficent: before I kill you and you’re little band of ragamuffins I think I shall finish what I started all those years ago. Watch Leah as I force the breath out of your precious granddaughter

(Mal’s eyes glow bright green. The wind picks up)

Mal: LEAVE MY FRIENDS ALONE

(The stained glass windows explode and surround Maleficent forming a pillar. Jay Carlos Evie Jane Ben Doug and Lonnie gather around Mal. Jay Evie and Jane’s eyes start glowing. Ben Carlos Doug and lonnies gloved hands start shining brightly in the colours of Mal jay Evie and Jane respectively)

Mal: the strength of evil is good as none/when it stands before eight hearts as one

(The others join in. The stained glass pillar gets smaller trapping Maleficent. This continues as the dark fairy tries to free herself but to no avail.)

Maleficent: YOU NEED ME. WITHOUT MY GUIDANCE YOU ARE NOTHING

Mal: no. You’re nothing

(The core eight say the incantation one more time and the stained glass pillar explodes. The ones with magic shield the ones without. The dust settles leaving nothing a...)

Carlos: gecko? What the hell?

Evie: thought she’d look like Audrey’s personality

Mal: you know what indigo?

Evie: what magenta. What is it now

Audrey: I’m sorry.

(Everyone turns to look at her)

Audrey: I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I

Evie: tried to get us in trouble repeatedly? Tried to get us sent back to a hellhole slag heap be because you felt oppressed by our existence? Sicced your gormless idiot of a philandering bastard boyfriend on my best friend? (Sarcastically) why would you ever want to apologise for that?

Mal: indigo. Hush. Audrey you know I’m gonna have get you back eventually right?

Audrey: mhmm (She flinches bracing herself for an onslaught)

Mal: not now. It has to be when you least expect it. Jane dear. What say you and I unfreeze the old folks huh?

Jane: ok

Maljane: Bibbidi bobbidi boo

(The adults all unfreeze)

Verna: oh my stars. What. What happened

Audrey: I happened. I was an idiot and a bully and a fool and

Evie (“helpfully”): a bitch

Audrey: yes. I accidentally released Maleficent from the isle. She almost killed me. Well. Everyone in fact. But Mal jay Carlos Ben Lonnie Doug Jane and the one who’s still looking at me like she’s measuring my coffin saved all of us

Leah: I want that child expelled. If it weren’t for her and her kind this would never have happened. You have only yourself to blame for all of this Benjamin. Because of you my granddaughter was humiliated assaulted and almost killed.

Audrey: GRANDMA FOR FUCKS SAKE SHUT UP

(Everyone looks shocked)

Evie: well well well. The bitch isn’t all bark after all.

Audrey: This was my fault. I grabbed the wand. Not Mal. This is on me

Leah: you wouldn’t have done what you did if those things hadn’t drove you to it

Audrey (steely voiced): Mal Jay Carlos and Evie and Ben Lonnie Jane and Doug saved everybody. Including you

Elsa: I believe that you owe Mal and her friends an apology Leah

Lonnie: gecko on the loose

(Maleficent is scurrying towards her sceptre. Mal gets there before her and tosses it over to Jay. She kneels down in front of her mother)

Mal: I don’t need you. I never did. I have what I need. And they are all better then you. And you. You were a piss poor excuse of a mother. And I hope you rot. (She stands up, sniffling hard). Jay can I have the sceptre please? Thank you

(She snaps it in half over her knee. The power surge reignites the candles in the cathedral)

Mal: fairy godmother. If you can could you take this. In the wrong hands it could be very dangerous. And I am the wrong hands. It doesn’t matter where it goes. So long as it’s nowhere near me. And thistle if you can (she hands Verna the spell book)

Fairy godmother: only if you’re sure dear

Elsa (having vivid flashbacks to her childhood but not wanting to influence Mal): it’s your choice sweetheart. Is this what you really want?

Mal: yes. I don’t need magic. I mostly used it as defence. For Carlos and myself. So there’s not really any need to use it any more

Ben: you always have the option to go back on this.

Mal (cheerfully): I know. But right now I’m thinking of seeing my boyfriend crowned king of the world

(She walks up to Ben as she says this and shifts the crowns position on his head to a jauntier angle. Then whips around and slaps Audrey around the face so hard something shiny fall out of her mouth. Mal bends down and helps her back up)

Mal (tentatively): I did say I’d get you back

Audrey (chuckling): yeah. Yeah you did. Square

Mal: square.

Carlos: why?

(Everyone turns to look at him)

Mal: yeah hon?

Carlos: why the gecko. Why not you know. Dust

Jane: um. I think I know.

Mal: yeah?

Jane: the love in her heart. She um shrank to uh. Mother

Fairy Godmother: it’s ok. Mal dear. You and your friends defeated Maleficent with your own image goodness. And it shrank her down to the size of the live in her heart.

Mal: ah. Right. So. She does love me. Just not enough to not attempt to murder me and my family. Great(.) Marvellous in fact. Freaking copacetic

Guard: lady Mal. What shall we do with the reptile?

Mal: Just. Take her away. Get her out of my sight. I don’t want to see her. Ever.

Ben (pulling her into a hug): are you ok?

Mal: I will be. Eventually. But today isn’t about me. It’s about you. And the glorious path your reign will lead us down

Ben (laughing): is that sass?

Mal: maybe a little bit

Ben (appreciatively): I kinda like that

Mal: I know you do

Carlos (aside to Jay): are they gonna kiss

Jay: maybe. Got a problem with that?

Carlos: well she is my mother. Oh so not them

(Evie’s just dipped Doug and planted a very long kiss on him)

Evie: well. Can you blame me. I mean look at him

(Doug looks a tad punch drunk. He hiccups once. Laughs. Then passes out)

Evie: I’ll take that as a good sign

Bal, jaylos and janelonnie: yeah

Elsa: is he ok?

Doug: I’m good. I’m really. I’m fine. Could uh. Could someone help me up please?

Ben: sure buddy

(After Ben helps Doug Elsa approaches the group£

Elsa: you makesty. I can tidy up here. You run along and celebrate your new position

(Mal glomps her into a tight hug before Ben can thank her)

Mal: thank you

Elsa (hugging her back): you’re very welcome my girl

(Mal pulls away and leaves with the others. Elsa turns to the adults)

Elsa: lets get this place clean.

(This is when “shine your way” starts)

[violetbeachpod]

1x01 / twelve oh one

TERESA:

Okay, so–it’s recording. Cool .

Um. It’s Wednesday. It’s been nine days since–eight days, maybe? –well, if you’re listening, at this point, you know what it was–Benji says we’re gonna publish this, but, like, no. That’s–that’s ridiculous. This is for science.

Or our memoirs. Whatever.

We’ve–the seven of us have decided to keep a log. Of what’s been going on.

Um. So. Cool. Name and deets, just in case some more weird memory shit goes down–My name’s Teresa. I’m eighteen. I’m an Aries, I like bowling and shitty pop music, and only mostly ironically. That enough fluff? I’m a freshman at, ah, Lands College, here in town, and. Studying journalism, with a minor in women’s studies, uh–anything else–I feel like this would be a better story if I start showing, rather than telling.

Or, like. Telling stories rather than just reading out my dating profile. Because that’s lame.

My dating profile’s actually–it’s a lot more detailed than that. I’m on, like, seven different sites, and every profile is. Very Different.

(text notification sound)

Anj, stop–stop listening in! You–you–dude, take a nap.

So. Anyway. Here’s what we know.

(long beat)

That was good, right? A good joke? That’s something. Um. Cuz we don’t know very much at all. There’s something there, I swear, like, I rehearsed that bit in the bathroom mirror this morning, and I was thinking, no, I won’t pull that, but–

But. Back to the point.

Y’know how, in movies, people are always like, “Nobody knows except for us?”

That’s so exclusive. So presumptuous. We don’t know if people are lying. We haven’t spoken to every person on the planet–we haven’t even spoken to anyone outside of Maryland. Outside of town. Like. We’ve watched news, but God knows, some of those conspiracies about hypnosis through CNN are real, or whatever. Y’know? Like–those conspiracies are almost exclusively believed in by, like, flat-earthing racists, so, like, they’re probably, definitely super wrong, but–I was making a joke and I’m overthinking it now. Cool.

Anyway. We don’t know who knows. Maybe someone in, like, Caracas, knows? Maybe someone in–you get my point–knows.

Or maybe we’re being Truman Showed. Wouldn’t be the worst theory to have come out of this.

I would–well, I’d hate it, but one time, back in middle school, the public library did these–these movie nights for teenagers, right? And, so, uh, a bunch of us were there, and I was sitting with Angie, cuz she was–she was the only person I knew there, of course, and she was sitting with these kids, like–uh, from the hippie school she had taken in, and–one of them was AJ, I know, and one was Charlotte. but the others, I don’t see anymore.

But anyway, she was, like, starry-eyed at the idea of her life being a TV show without her knowing. At the idea of unintentional stardoms. So maybe she’ll get a kick out of that theory.

Here’s something: I was working on my campaign notes earlier, cuz the group’s meeting tomorrow, should meet tomorrow  and I didn’t really–I didn’t like a few of the potentials, so, whatever. Irrelevant.

I checked the time, and–well. It was twelve oh one. And two minutes later, it was still twelve oh one. And now, it’s still twelve oh one.

I thought maybe my laptop was being bad again? But it said the same on my phone, and on the wall clock.

The app says time is passing. It’s been longer than fifty-nine seconds.

It’s still twelve oh one, though, is the thing. Which isn’t great, all things considered.

But, we’ll catch up on that later.

Here’s the big thing. I went back to the beach last night to see if I could recreate what happened alone, and, uh–at least. I think I did. I don’t remember going, but, uh, Angie says I did, and AJ said that when he was closing at work, he saw me walking towards it. But I didn’t–I didn’t go.

There are sixty-nine–which, yeah, nice, that’s the sex number, whatever–sticky notes on the bathroom mirror, and, like–I can make out letters on some of them them? Individual letters? But not words. And I know that they’re making words, and I know that it’s my handwriting, but my brain just–it goes somewhere else.

And other ones, that I can read, they have dumb stuff. One of them’s just a doodle of David Hyde Pierce with a caption that just says “HELL YEAH. LOOK AT THE MOON WEDNESDAY.”

It’s, like–in fairness to me, or the person I assume to be me, it’s a fairly good David Hyde Pierce. And there’s–there’s a new moon tonight, so–well.

Whatever.

It’s still twelve oh–oop. Nevermind. Twelve oh two now. Nice.

Benji wants me to take off work until this whole thing’s sorted out. Says he’ll still pay me, but, like–being yelled at by awful dudes about trivia that nobody knows is kind of the only constant in my life right now? So I said no. Obviously. Like. It sucks, but it makes me feel normal. Like the beach out by Angie’s place did, before–

Well. Maybe some recollection would be nice, I guess. Just so, like, Danny and company–like, if we end up showing them. Cuz I’m better at sticking to the facts than, say, Robin or Charlotte. So. Yeah.

So. Uh.

Most folks know that she transferred in after a semester at–well, I’m not allowed to say the name of the school in front of her, anymore, and she’s, like, giving me death-eyes out of the bedroom door. But. A certain Ivy League school. This is relevant–

Okay, maybe not, but it’s a nice set up to our establishing shot, which is, of course, her New Year’s party, nine days ago. At her parents’ place. Or, eight days ago, at her parents’ place, I guess. She told us on New Year’s Eve that she was starting at Lands on the fourth, and I offered her a stay in my dorm, cuz I had a single, and, uh, it sucked? But. Whatever.

So I said, “You know, I have a single.” And she said–wait, lemme find my journal–yes, I do write down conversations, Angie.

Alright. She said, “Oh, really, is it on–Bandcamp, Soundcloud, iTunes, MySpace? I didn’t know you–” And I said, “I meant dorm room, dude, you mentioned–MySpace?”

She said, “I still use it.” I laughed, “Of course you do.”

But, anyway. We agreed to live together, but. It was one AM. Robin Cabell dropped by with her new fiancee, said hi, and–well, like, our babysitter’s getting married, to, like, this gorgeous girl from DC, and the high school kids from the hippie school were there, and Benji was there, cuz he’s everywhere, and–

As folks left–Angie started playing Wonderwall around 3AM, so, uh, a little bit before then–it ended up just being the seven of us. Her parents are out of town–as always. Well, not always. But frequently.

They’re mad about–Blarvardgate.

I–I didn’t say it! I said something mildly close alluding to it. Stop texting me!

But. It was just the seven of us there, Angie still playing some terrible 90s song, and–Benji says, “I brought fireworks. Forgot about that til now.” Elaine, uh, Robin’s new fiancee, asked, “They legal?”

Benji said, “It’s New Year’s Day and I’m a–a bit of a town celebrity,” he said, because his podcast gets, like, seventeen downloads per episode.

“You are?” asked Elaine.

He got really proud, real fast, and he said, “Yes, absolutely, and also, I’m at some rich people’s house and it’s New Year’s Day, so, like. We’ll be fine.”

Which, fair.

And that’s about when things blew up?

Ironically, not literally, cuz he went to his truck, and brought out the fireworks, and he was–well. It was New Year’s, he wasn’t sober, so, he tripped, and those things went flying, landing in the water. It was a bad fall, he hit his head on a rock. And Charlotte was laughing, and she was wading right where the waves were breaking, and she fell backwards, so–AJ panicked, and he jumped in after her, cuz she wasn’t coming up.

And AJ came up, holding Char so she could stand, and she was coughing up water, looked like she was about to pass out. I was checking out Benji’s wound, even though, I’m, like,–blood? Not my thing, ever, at all, it’s–it’s weird and red, and Angie was getting up to check on me, and Rob and her fiancee were trying to help out the kids, and–

And the sky went bright purple.

Not, like, when it’s a sunset, and the sky’s kinda magenta? And that’s blending into the night-sky color, but–

Like, highest saturation on photoshop, highest brightness, makes-you-almost vomit cuz your eyes are burning, that bright purple.

And my skin, it felt like it was burning. I smelled salt, felt a breeze, and I tried to close my eyes, to breathe out, but I couldn’t.

And then there was nothing.

And then I woke up on the beach. I could smell salt, I was totally clear-headed–and Benji’s cut? It was gone.

My watch said it was around 4AM. My phone was dead, but–it was the first, still. The sun was rising, in–in normal sky colors.

And I woke up second. Elaine was already up.

She asked me if I saw it too.

I said I that did.

Neither of us needed to clarify what. But we did. Obviously. Because “it” could be, like, anything, like–could be that new reality show that everyone’s super into where eliminations are decided by arm wrestles–it’s, like–it’s got compelling storylines, I swear.

My phone died, Angie, so if you’re trying to communicate, I can’t help you.

Oh! Time’s passing normally now. That’s nice. That’s good.

The plan was to recount the past week’s events, as well as their psychological effect on us. That’s what we agreed on.

So. Time stopped for a little while today. That was weird. That’s important.

I guess–I’m first, so I should talk about my other big experience too.

I was the fourth of us to see something, after it all? It was the third. After work, I was walkin’ to Ramon’s? And as I passed the custard stand, I saw this woman.

She was shorter than me, uh, long sundress on that was way too summery for this weather, but she didn’t seem cold. I offered her my hoodie, cuz I at least had long sleeves, but she didn’t answer. Dark hair, big sunglasses. I’d wager maybe thirty.

She took off her sunglasses, yeah? And the sky flashed purple–the same purple, the same burning feeling all over me–

And then the same nothingness, same smell of salt, same breeze, but–

I was still standing. And we were in this space, this–this purple nothingness, no ground, no sky, no nothing, that’s a double negative, you get what I mean, and–I was still standing–more floating, which was–not as pleasant as you’d expect? But not unpleasant, either. And this woman, she looked at me,  dead in the eyes, and–

And she said–

(beat, uncomfortable)

What did she say?

(laughs)

It’s–it’s in my head, like. Tip of my tongue. I wrote it down, but it’s–it’s another individual letters making out a word I know but can’t–type situation.

But whatever.

What I’m most concerned about is my going to the beach. About the sticky notes. Like, that’s some sci-fi bullshit. Or some horror bullshit. Either or. Probably both.

Again, Truman Showed. Viable theory, here.

Or it has something to do with the Groundhog Day thing. Maybe.

I think what bothers me about this is how easy I’m accepting all this–that, like, I’m fairly sure all this is real. I know it’s–it’s weird. I know that this is sci-fi-esque, but, like–I never saw myself as a protagonist, or–any kind of tagonist, I guess, in those stories. But this–now, I think that I am.

So. Cool.

But why do I think that’s cool? I’m the–I’m the socially-stilted nerdy girl who either dies second or gets really good at guns, and I’m very afraid of guns.

So, therefore? I’m dying second.

Or, or or or, I’m Lois Lane. Charming and tough young journalist, swept off her feet by a charming stranger. Hopefully not a Superman, though, cuz–he’s not my thing. But. Yeah. I can deal with Lois.

I feel like I should know what happens next. Me or Benji, we gotta, we’re the ones who know genre like the backs of our hands. That’s why we’re friends, but–

This isn’t supposed to happen here. Like, I grew up here, and I’m–I wasn’t planning to stay here forever, obviously, but–This town, VB, it’s–it’s comforting in its boringness. Sure, it’s not– the people here are always cycling in-and-out, cuz tourism and school, and all that, but–Violet Beach is a normal-ass town. We don’t have ghost stories, we don’t have cryptids, we–we don’t have lore, or whatever. I don’t think there’s ever been a murder here, for God’s sake.

Okay, well–the hippie school’s headmaster, uh, the rebrander guy, Andrew Corielli, or–his son’s the mayor, right?–Shot that grocer, like, in the sixties. But everyone was a serial killer back then, if I can trust every true crime show ever.

But–my point is. What’s going on is not what happens in this town. What’s going on is what goes on in, like, Roswell, or–or Twin Peaks, or something.

I’m–I don’t have much else to say. That’s a conclusion if there ever was one. So. Uh.

Okay. I’m signing off. Thanks, guys. Hope to see you soon.

[cinema-of-cruelty]

COLOR OUT OF SPACE (2019)— Think Pink and…die.

by Cinema of Cruelty • A podcast on Anchor and Spotify

On this week’s annotated deep dive, The Cultists present Richard Stanley’s Color Out of Space (2019). The cult director of Hardware (1990) and Dust Devil (1992) returns to the big screen after a decades-long hiatus with this H.P. Lovecraft adaptation about a color so unfathomable that it can’t help but destroy everything its light touches. Lovecraft’s writings—packed full of thick lurking atmospheres and cosmic “unseeable” horrors—are notoriously impossible to translate into film. Will Richard Stanley succeed where so many before him have failed? And can you really make a horror movie about the insidious, reality-defying nature of the color pink? London and Benji set forth to find out, along the way discussing how COoS compares to its short story source material, as well as comparing it to the lineage of COoS adaptations that have come before. Other topics include: John Dee and Enochian magic, The “Simon” Necronomicon, Alpaca farming, and why choosing Magenta as the film’s stand-in alien hue is actually really very cool. 

Episode Safeword: “monochromatic”

[rohankama]

Preston hummed a tune somewhat offkey under his breath as he sorted through the rest of the days appointments. Just the usual high confidentiality, bi-weekly sort to go over for the third time that day, just to make sure he remembered, and half of them were already underway or just about finished.

It was honestly pretty quiet at the club, and, while he wasn’t all that sure why, he was pretty thankful for it. Trying to fit in sudden walk-ins was always a hassle, and he really wasn’t feeling it today.

Smooth sailing today, he thought. Like a fool.

It isn’t the roar of music from the strip-joint that notifies him there’s someone approaching. Rather, it’s the familiar cursing of his friend stumbling into the potted plant near the waiting rooms chairs that makes Preston jump out of his skin from the break in the relative silence of the room.

“Rohan?” Preston sputters, green eyes blinking at the other monster as he gripped the wobbly pot. “Where did you come from!?”

“From the back- ugh. Gods-damn it.”

Preston feels his soul skip its beat for a second time when Rohan looks up at him with two bright, magenta eye-lights. The skeleton smiles sheepishly as he straightens back up and brushes invisible dust off his clothes. Even as he tries to regain his dignity, the flush of magenta along his markings betrays more than just his embarrassment.

Even so, Preston still feels it is necessary to ask, “You, uh, ok there dude?”

To his utter shock and surprise, Roh gives one rather shrill bark of a laugh and answers honestly. “Ah, no, not really. Sorry Pres, but um, I was just trying to get to the office without making a scene. Fynn.. is in today, right?”

“Um,” Preston glances down the hall before nervously meeting the skeletons gaze. “He’s, uh, in a appointment at the moment, so... office is locked up.”

Upon the flash of panic that alights his friends eyes, Preston waves his hands about in a small panic of his own, words spilling out of him to try and comfort the clearly distressed skeleton.

“Woah, hey, but, uh, it should be just about over, I mean, they’ve been back there for awhile now and, like, that client doesn’t usually take up to much time, so he’ll probably be out soon, no worries- unless you’re? Really bad right now?? I could maybe, uh, page someone who isn’t busy to come help you out in the meantime, keep you company-”

“I think I can wait a little longer, thanks.”

Preston’s jaw shuts with a clack, his orange fur lighting up with an embarrassed blush of his own as he realized he’d been nervously babbling. He scratches behind his ear as he slumps back over the counter.

“Oh. Well, uh. Okay, then-”

He then yelps as Rohan hops the counter, landing directly in his lap, and proceeds to get himself comfortable.

“You can keep me company for a bit though. Your lack of horny should be enough to keep my inner puppy down, kitten. Show me some cute Oreo pictures or something, I know you’ve got thousands of them.”

“Uuuuuuh, o-okay.”

And so, the Oreo pictures were brought out. Showing off his cat was something he could always get behind.

It’d been actual years since he’d had a lap full of skeleton and skeleton alone. Thankfully, he know that Roh was actually pretty good at keeping his hands to himself, so, he wasn’t really worried about that. No, he was mostly worried about how long his friend might have been suffering in this full-blown activated state. When he asked though, Rohan brushed him off.

“Oh, I’m fine Pres, just haven’t been able to use my usual methods to meet Fynn lately. Things haven’t settled down yet with the new place, that’s all.”

“Maybe when things do settle, we could hang out again,” Roh says, snuggling into his fur, “that would be nice, I think, all of us doing whatever together... only if your schooling isn’t being bullshit, of course.”

“Um. Yeah, course, that would be, uh, that’d be fine.”

A little bit longer of cat pictures and small talk, and Roh’s gaze getting more and more worryingly hazy by the moment, and soon enough Preston’s sensitive hearing notices a more normal commotion down the hall. Someone meandering down said hall from a job well done to give him the details on it.

Preston hoped to whatever deity might be watching that it was Fynn. He wasn’t sure how much longer Roh was gonna last before ever little movement got him whimpering, and he REALLY DIDN’T WANT THAT HAPPENING ON HIS LAP.

Thankfully, his prayers were answered. His boss rounded the corner with a yawn, only really opening his eyes when Rohan gasped out a Fynnie!, and vaulted over the counter straight onto him. Preston yelped as he was pushed backwards on his wheeled chair. Fynn, caught completely off guard, staggered backward to regain his balance, arms full of very affectionate skeleton.

“M’sorry,” Roh apologized before Fynn could even voice his confusion, “I misplaced my phone and m-my patience with it.”

Fynn’s slightly befuddled gaze met Preston’s helpless one for a moment. Then, that familiar flare of magenta flashed through his eyes as Rohan whined, and Preston very very quickly averted his gaze.

“I see. Well, Kitten, if anyone comes asking for Fynn, it looks like you’ll have to give them floppy eared Fynn. You know what to do.”

He very much knew what to do, as he avoided looking at the both of them go back into the office, the door locking very loudly in the once again silent waiting room. First, he had to text Benji. And, second, he had to find his sound proofing headphones. All the rooms in this place might be soundproofed, but boy howdy did he not ever want to test that.