#( idk man my brain is all over the place )
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hello i am once again thinking about grim, and by extension the heartslabyul duo because if there’s anything else that lives in my head rent-free it’s how the main four are as close as friends as they are throughout the entire game so far.
(help this ramble became longer than i intended)
-> i know it's a pattern that the previous dorms help out in the next book which means once book 7 ends, we’re assuming book 8 would be about ramshackle(?). which means it’s diasomnia’s turn to have a big role in the following dorm. -> but it got me thinking. throughout the books, heartslabyul (specifically adeuce) is always present somehow. no matter how much screen time they actually have and how relevant they are to the conflict at that time. (actually i think something similar could be said with diasomnia but i want to focus mainly on adeuce) -> throughout the books, we're just set up with how good of friends the four are. the prologue, books 1 and 2 start to develop the four's chemistry together, and by book 3 we get one of the first signs that yuu cares about these three to the point they're willing to risk it because their dumbasses decided to sign a deal with azul. -> in book 4, while adeuce didn't have much involvement, i believe twst JUST hammers home that all four of them are friends friends. we are shown how ace and deuce went through all the trouble of transportation DURING THE HOLIDAYS because they thought yuu and grim were in trouble. like they could've easily just went "hey it must have been nothing" but they were worried enough to go check on them, not even thinking that someone else could've had handled it already.
-> since the pattern was that the previous dorm helps the next dorm, why does it seem like in book 5 it seems that heartslabyul, or at least, adeuce has as much of a big role as scarabia? the scarabia duo was there to notice the signs with vil but it was deuce who dealt the last blow to him. (honestly i don't remember much but i don't know how much help scarabia even helped pomefiore other than being in vdc hhh) -> so then it made me think, huh. it's like twst is setting up that these two will be more important than we think and will definitely not be going away soon. -> and then THE END OF BOOK 6. ouughh the end of book 6. their reunion just solidified for me how much they all care about each other. adeuce were not prompted by a direct "we're in trouble, help us" text this time. they just found out yuu and grim were somewhere in danger and it agonized them that they could do nothing about it but wait and hope they're safe. -> book 7 finally we're back to finding out ways to help yuu get home. and since they're all admittedly close friends (dare i say found family) at this point without explicitly stating it, i get the vibes of "we'll help you get home because we care about you but we're not going to think about the depressing possibility we might never see each other ever again".
-> so very abrupt transition;;; this led me to thinking about the overall “alice in wonderland” theme throughout twst. -> is that why adeuce has been with us this entire time? to remind us of that theme? we are in twisted wonderland after all. (I'm not really sure about the thought of yuu being alice but it's an interesting one to consider too) -> to tie in more with the alice in wonderland theme, i'm briefly going to go back to diasomnia. in book 7, there's like a theme of dreams. in fact, throughout the game it was all about dreams and visions and stuff. and in book 7 we're just diving into it. -> and in the story of alice in wonderland, there seems to be the implication that everything that happened in wonderland was just based on a crazy dream that alice had. like we don't know if anything was ever real. (i'm not really a fan of the "it's all a dream" twist but the connections got the gears in my brain turning) (also mickey must be relevant too but i have no thoughts about the implications of his existence at the moment 💀) -> i know we're not done with diasomnia's book but it seems to be set up as a catalyst for something bigger along the line (thinking about the possibility that there is even something bigger than a malleus overblot is very wild to say the least)
-> SO ANOTHER abrupt transition but still related, i thought about the parallel between the "overblot grim" in the beginning of the game and the "jabberwock(y)" in alice in wonderland. they're both chimera-like creatures that are like the final bosses or something. -> and what if a way for yuu to "go home" is to "slay" the jabberwocky (or in this case the overblot grim) just like in the story of alice in wonderland / through the looking glass. -> there's theories i believe that ace is set up to be some kind of "trump card" based on his name and the fact his unique magic isn't revealed yet. but also i want to add deuce in there too remembering how he held a big role in stopping vil in book 4 like some kind of foreshadowing. -> maybe the main role diasomnia will have is only about all these dream shenanigans. and i'd like to think instead that at the end of the day, this conflict with an overblotted grim is ultimately between our main four. some representations based off alice in wonderland. -> going full circle, is this why we have been shown so much of the friendship between all four of them? to establish this possible eventual conflict? and to make it harder for us to choose about "going home"? do we even get the choice?
do we "slay" the jabberwocky or will we decide to stay in this seemingly dreamlike fantasy wonderland instead?
#if there’s anything else i am very normal about is the friendship between adeuce yuu and grim#the power of friendship strikes again#this braindump is all over the place idk what is cooking in there#anyways i'd love to hear other thoughts or feel free to add on;;;#this has brain go brrrr#i might also be forgetting a lot of things this is just what i remember off the top of my head#[—✦-#-✧ twst rambles#twst#twisted wonderland#twst yuu#heartslabyul#diasomnia#ace trappola#deuce spade#twst grim#twst ramshackle#-✦—]#im sorry for this whiplash of a blog#i just go from random takes to heehee funny snake man
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the x files au where everything is exactly the same except mulder takes home the child neanderthal from the jersey devil episode and raises them as his own
#you could make this super fun and invoke a sense of deep Guilt on behalf of mulder because he feels he got the mom neanderthal killed#and then you can also make it fun in “c'mon sport let's go throw the ball around kind of way”#i imagine him at the library checking out books on early humanoid species and how to parent at the same time#the librarian silently checking the books out and wondering what on earth this man could possibly be needing such resources for#imagine scully's reaction to this. i can't quite place it beyond initial Disbelief and then subsequent trying to be as supportive as she ca#and she would probably be also very Nerdy about the whole thing. because she strikes me as someone well-read on the subject and fascinated#we also know she at least has some experience wrangling children which would be relevant#i imagine a bunch of anthropologists perpetually hovering over the child to study him but they have to be Chill and not disrupt his life#so the kid just grows up thinking they have a ton of really cool and supportive aunts and uncles over all the time#meanwhile they scientists are taking notes furiously as they see if he can adapt to playing a gameboy with the other kids#idk someone probably thought of this idea before but it's funny to me#why would the kid go to him and not someone far more qualified? idk i'm just playing pretend in my brain :)#this thought was prompted by me wondering if you time traveled and brought an early humanoid to the modern era do you think the kid#would still play minecraft? i say yes. probably.#i saw a post about something similar years ago and i wonder about it. i hope you would like cartoons and subway surfers neanderthals.#1x05#fox mulder#the x files#txf
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im so tired of being a sleepy boy
#i napped for 2 hours bc i was so sleepy and still am. why.#i hydrated enough im not having an episode im not sick and no meds are causing it (i think) and the sun is not out so why!!!!#what am i supposed to do aaaaa!!!!!!! sleep for an entire day until i had sm sleep im sick of it?? 😭#i dozed off in the middle of sketching like cmon!!!#looking it up will tell me i have some rare kind of deadly disease and i dont wanna go to my doc and tell him im a sleepy googoogaga#this man is funnily enough my childhood doctor i went to before my adoption so he knows well enough how sleepy i am#considering my grandparents always tell i was fhe quietest baby ever and never screamed or cried they thought i just passed away or#was sick bc i just slept all day#so yss hes well aware of youn and his chronic sleepy sleepiness since baby times#actually thats over 20 years ago and my doc still looks the same#meaning super hot#which is confusing#this man did check ups on me when i was like 6 and 20 years later he kneads my popped out vertebrae back into place like im an old man#and he just looks exactly the same#this messes wifh my brain i think i need to nap on this#personal#tbd#idk why i rambled so hard while in the process of waking up my condolences if anyone read this far#im not even sleepy anymore bc i thought so hard about my doctor and his secret immortality my brain is actually working#🤔 ah
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I love it when I'm not actually as invested in something as others are yet I'll still spend. 10+ hours just watching content about it cuz I still have to know about it like I might not have brain rot or anything but I gotta have that info in my brain
#I mean in general it takes a lot to really catch my attention#like I like lots and lots of media#constantly looking around for new stuff to invest my time in#and when I find smth I will go over it a lot if it's cool enough#but like to ACTUALLY hook me with literal brain worms it has to be SOO specific#in a way idk how to even really explain#like the list of things that'll hook me almost INSTANTLY if I start looking @ them again is like#WoY. NoN. i.i. and uhhh Dano :] if u read this far that mod is in my pinned ^^#I really like the mod a LOT and got them brain rotting worms in my head for em#atm I'm trying to branch out and keep up with new media. catch up or rewatch old media etc etc#so it's distracting me from any specific brain rot atm cuz I'm so all over the place but yeah!#Indigo Park is cool :] I do really like Rambley a lot but I'll have to see more if him and more of the game in the future#before it really makes anything in my brain I think#OH Secret Squirrel is a new one that's really got me but I'm staying away from that FREAK bcuz I'm not normal abt him#plus there's only like 13 episodes but tbf I'VE WORKED WITH LESS#I'm like the master of getting invested in the most obscure shit possible man
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me after editing the aau prologue for the bajillionth time
#First chapter I changed the opening bc I always thought it felt off/abrupt and wanted to have it be prince pov from the start#I wanna get in his head more ok sue me#Beyond that tho it was just some wording edits#Specifically with the internal dialogue moments I helped them flow more/feel more like thoughts#Also mj gets a bit more of their usual edge/pessimism bc the prologue they always felt a bit too “ówò sad poor smol bean” or whatever#That’s it tho chapter 4 I didn’t change bc it’s peak#Did add some teases to later things tho like snatch senses mjs soul at the end of his chap but doesn’t realize it#Or like I added the Not Now running thing in the earlier chapters bc it was more of a chapter 4 thing so I wanted 2 set it up more so boom#I think that’s all the notable edits ig like I said just description additions the only actual new thing is the opener for chap 1 👍#Also also I got to include a hc that I have that I neglected to do before but I hc a!prince used plural internal dialogue#Because lol we love dramatic irony in this house#Grace post#this reminds me tho one of these days I should look through heart strings chapter one to look for editing things#Bc I think I did that recently but I don’t remember it much tho#Mostly just when the Hat stuff starts that was the parts I never directly rewrote I just edited them so they feel out of place in my brain#Also I’d wanna edit her dialogue bc it *was* in character (after rereading her diary’s to confirm) but I wanna have her be a bit more snark#Hat is Hard bc i Need the balance of cute little kid and also smug little shit (affectionate) like she is a pain to write man cries#This is just me rambling lol ignore it I just wanted to spam aau thoughts#In other news I made shapes redesigns but I’m on the fence on posting them bc idk if I wanna spoil or not hhhhhhhhh#Nowadays I’m more chill w spoiling things than I used to be#But there are a handful of things I’ve kept shut about (ex being princes name or mjs species stuff etc)#So I’m not sure if this thing with shapes i should keep secret or just post bc I used to spoil it but idk now#Shrugs#maybe I’ll do a poll later I dunno#Ok yapping over byeeeeee
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Persona romance routes are all pretty bad but damn they really hit rock bottom with p3p femc route like the misogyny is very blatant and it’s almost hilarious like look at the Shinjiro romance. When you do his social link he’s like very clearly respectful of Kotone as a leader and explicitly says stuff like "oh yeah you’re clearly the best fighter we have, I don’t really know much about fighting like you do, I hope I’m not dragging you down, you’re doing a good job as leader just remember to take care of yourself, everyone looks up to you I know you can rely on them" etc. like he has faith in her leading abilities. But then when you romance him he’s like got dialogue like "bwah bluh i gotta look after you because you’re a GIRL and you need to stick by me, a big strong MAN so you don’t get hurt" and "don’t wear that revealing outfit in front of other guys 👺" and it’s like. Does he respect her or not and also like it doesn’t make sense for him to look down on her for being a girl cuz he literally has never not been led by a girl leader during his time in sees and Mitsuru in particular really has her shit together when it comes to being responsible and a good fighter and she’s always known the most about Tartarus
It’s also like. Idk maybe its just me I’m not a girl so FUCK IF I KNOW but to me the appeal of romancing Shinji is the fact that he’s sweet and sensitive and gentle and has respect for you despite the fact that he acts all scary. That’s like, what made me like this character in the first place. But the writers seem to think what women want is for a BIG STRONG MAN to protect them because they are just DELICATE WOMEN who are inferior in every way it’s like. Shut upppp thanks
#persona#persona 3#shinjiro aragaki#this is soooooooo obviously not the only romance route that sucks in this game yall know which one im referring to 🤨#and i actually tend to think of the shinji romance as the best one in the series cuz at least his confession scene is the only unique one#that really highlights who he is as a character and goes with the story#but ughh just idk its so annoying how the writers cant decide if hes sexist or not its really weird and its like#really shows how poorly the writers think of women playing their game its like all the romance options are trash and then your boyfriend is#sexist to you and its so clearly done in a way thats supposed to be romantic which is. ew#like idk if my partner was like talking about how i need to stay close to them because im a weak girl and they are strong man#especially when im literally the leader of the team and have been doing perfectly fine thus far and am clearly the strongest here#id simply run him over with a bulldozer#and its like this will all the guys in this game its like girl shut up and eat glass#meanwhile when youre a male protagonist your gf will kiss your ass to the point its infuriating#and their character arcs can never be too grand cuz then they might not wanna fuck you if they realize they have worth#uh sorry my brain is all over the place basically i hate persona romances lol and i hate how they wrote shinji in his#like dammit i dont want him cuz hes gonna protect me like a man i want him cuz he isnt great at fighting and prefers cooking and puppy dogs#and has respect for me and trusts my judgement and asks me to talk about my life and interests and smiles sweetly#but god forbid a woman in this series be respected i guess
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#was gonna pierce my lip but I realized I lost all the caps to my barbell piercings and I didn't even realize. I'm so fuckin mad#now I have to get more#idk if I can just get the screw on heads. idk what mm size they are#anyway. bone broth is successful. it's been slow cooking all day and looks and smells good. it's gonna make for hella nutritious soup base.#also I've been hunting down Spanish vocab audio because that's how I learn best.#listening to more language transfer and adding music to my Spanish playlist.#still definitely not conversational but my comprehension is going up quite a bit.#I had a grumpy Russian man come through my lane today and the desire to communicate better was so strong.#I just wanna learn all the languages.#I just need to find more resources that work for my brain.#I have a Spanish vocab book and I hardly touch it. duolingo sucks for me. I hate Rosetta Stone.#but there's resources out on the internet I just have to find them and use them.#there's a few good ones on Spotify I've found. as much as I hate Spotify conceptually for music artists it's still a resource I can use.#as much as I don't wanna apply for new jobs I don't wanna work in the same place next year when we move.#I still really wanna try food service. my speech has gotten way better and my stutter is almost never present#so job interviews should be way easier to pull off. I hope. I really hope.#I really wanna get back into nursing but idk if we're moving early enough for me to get into a cna certification class for spring semester.#I really should email the local community college and find out if I can pull off a late start or jump into a class already partway through.#I could look that up right now actually. find out when classes start there and how much I would be missing.#because I've passed the certification before it shouldn't be hard to jump in partway through I think.#hah. I'm so competent. I just looked up the information right now. there's an adult education center where I'm moving that offers the course#but not until halfway through spring.#so I could work food service for the spring and then switch to cna after.#I'm medicated so it's entirely possible and feasible. I have the ability.#hmmm. if I'm going into nursing maybe I should reconsider the lip piercing? hmmmm.#I can just let it heal over if it's an issue.#plenty of time between now and then.#anyway I'm going to bed good night.#well. maybe going to bed.
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winter 2k24, huh~~~~~~ _(:3 」∠)_
#aaaaaa it’s coming out just a few days before the major compilation album huh……#amz.jp preorders have already started huh… man.#im gonna wait till the inevitable ani.mate preorders start… i want the (inevitable) bonus comic aaaaaaaaaaa#i hope the bonus will be relatively(?) wholesome… unlike what’s probably in the actual manga u m.#i wonder if there will be another delay between the physical release and the digital release though…#anyways place your bets what do you think the cover of vol 2 will look like?#im guessing it’d be a redraw of one of the other chorus stills from the mv#maybe the one where she’s putting on makeup? since the flashback arc’s in this volume and all?#or maybe the ‘serves you right lol’ from the chorus with her fists by her chin?#(the second guess is mainly bc i think the series is gonna be 3 vols long and so one chorus still for each vol cover checks out right~?)#highly unlikely though lmaoooo since there are tons of good stills to pick from… she’s too cute#bc idk i really dont see the series dragging out for longer than 3 vols. esp since the flashback arc is already here#like. the protag’s flashback arcs usually appear some time around the climax of the story right?#so with the flashback in vol 2 that leaves enough time for a proper resolution in vol 3.#here’s to hoping that the chizuchan manga is able to have a better ending that whatever nonsense we got from the [redacted] anime lmao#i d k i just want to see chizuchan vibing with her friends and some resolution with renren and concon in vol 3 is that too much to ask—#then again this is the same manga that had the events of ch 4 and the first 2/3 of ch 5 take place#so there’s really no telling what’ll happen next…#in any case!!!!!! i’m terrified for ch 6 region lock release at the end of the month!!!!!#but… 160 pages long… hmmmmmm. does that mean that ch 8 (at least) will be short? ch 5 alone takes up a little over 1/4 of the pages…#and ch 6 was released in 4 parts on li.ne manga (like ch5)… so that’s prolly a long one too…#at this rate i think vol 2’s gonna come out before ch 7’s individual release… but… aaa.#i think i have the chizuchan manga’s on the brain a little too much for my own good. i should start charging it rent up there#a n y w a y s kimikawaii mv surpassed lxl’s hallokiss mv in views yayyyyyyyyy keep it up nagisakun down with lxl!!!!!!#aight that’s all from me for now. i think. i hope. yup. byeeeee#chizuutan chizpost
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oc's I've been kind of playing with in my head:
younger sister of Tyland & Jason Lannister, lady-in-waiting to Alicent Hightower, former spy for Larys Strong & Team Black informant (fc Jodie Comer)
eldest (and only trueborn) daughter of Cersei Lannister & Robert Baratheon, twin to their stillborn son (fc Dominique Devenport or Marta Gastini)
bastard son of Daemon Targaryen, Queensguard to Rhaenyra Targaryen (fc Francois Arnaud)
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Politely asking for more content of Saitama being super confident in his relationship with Genos. I made a post related to it before, but I'm going all in on this one.
I want a fic or a comic or something where Saitama is confident and happy about being/getting with Genos, but it's not all smooth sailing either. I don't want his insecurities to be overlooked or completely disregarded. Like, he genuinely thinks he isn't good enough. He believes Genos deserves better than him, and there's a very real chance that Genos could find that someone who's better. He also knows full well that he isn't the greatest man out there.
But he also knows that Genos is Genos. Genos isn't the greatest man either—he has his flaws, he's selfish sometimes, and Genos has his reasons for sticking around, even if there is someone out there better for him. Genos doesn't want to go out and look for that person, both of them acknowledge this, and Saitama is perfectly content on letting Genos stay with him instead of looking for that "better half", because not only is that what Genos wants, but what part of him wants, too.
What good would pushing Genos to go out there and find someone else do, anyway?
Saitama isn't going to overlook the fact that there's genuine love there between them, either. He won't lie, it took a while for him to accept the fact he loved Genos, what with him having such a large disconnection between himself and his feelings (especially large ones like these), but he wasn't just gonna completely disregard his own feelings. And while he's not the sharpest tool in the shed, he isn't stupid. He knows Genos likes him back.
The problem lies with him knowing that his weakness is communication. He can never word things properly, express his true emotions through words or convey his true thoughts without feeling like what he was saying wasn't exactly right. And that's initially why he doesn't confess for so long. He's trying his best but just. Can't get it right.
Not once does he feel like their relationship won't be good for either of them, or think he's going to fuck something up and tarnish every bit of their relationship and friendship. He has full trust that they would be amazing together, or at least that he will do his best for Genos and that Genos would do the same for him. There'll be hiccups now and then, but they'd be strong and get through them. He trusts them to do this well, to do right by each other.
He just needs to work a little harder on his own struggles if he wants that to happen, though.
#my brain was all over the place writing this so idk if i got my point/idea across clearly#but basically i crave Saitama knowing he and Genos would be great together#and that he isn't afraid of telling Genos how he feels#but I don't want him to NOT struggle while he attempts to say something#and i dont want him to just completely think he's the shit and 100% worth Genos#also#the same applies to Genos#i want Genos to be the same way and not be afraid of his feelings for Sai#but also not saying anything cuz theres still lingering insecurities and weaknesses#opm#one punch man#saitama#saigenos#genosai#genos
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Sick of being tired sad and overwhelmed all the time 😔
#max rambles a lot#it's this house man#i fucking hate it here#i am so over living here and i'm mad because i've been forced into tying up a good chunk of my money in xmas at this point#which means if by some tiny miracle i get to move out before xmas i won't be going nc until the new year#because i'll be damned if i'm paying for these assholes to have a nice xmas without me like fuck that#anyway yeah i'm so overstimulated lately that i want to just rip my face of all the time#had to cancel my tattoo appt because i am WAY to anxious to leave the house and it's made me really sad#also not to be one of Those people but this Matthew Perry news has really depressed me and i'm feeling it really bad#i'm so sad about it i keep bursting into tears with no warning over it#i feel like a fucking loser for doing so#but yeah i'm tired and sad and overwhelmed i miss all my friends being in the same place i miss feeling like i'm in charge of my own brain#sick of sleeping on the floor and being surrounded by clutter and not even being able to take a shit in peace#clinging to the tiniest little things to stop me absolutely losing my mind#a birthday party next week is currently next up but idk what's coming after that so 🤡🤡🤡
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// i was gonna write something today like i was gonna write literally anything just Something.... but my meds are changing and im not feeling too hot actually so i just. Didn't write anything at all i guess... getting brain zaps from coming off sertraline and also just not coping well with life atm i guess. sorry for the lack of content i'm just in a very weird place right now and i really don't know how to cope with it tbh
#ooc.#personal //#turns out the sertraline was doing Something#cus my mood swings are literally all over the place now i'm off it#man was i this bad before i got on that stuff??#jees#i'm so tired and low energy at the moment and iu know that's only gonna get worse with what i'm going onto as of tomorrow#im literally sat here willing myself to do something just something just do Something but instead i just#start to fall asleep at my desk#and i keep having crying fits for like. some reason i guess#idk im not doing too hot#the Bad Thoughts are coming back and i just want to lay down and sleep all the time#im like. paralysed??? all the time at the moment#there's so many things i want to do but instead i just end up having weird brain zaps and head rushes in between episodes of falling asleep#idk!!!#but yeah#sorry for the lack of content#im trying#i want to be here#i just.... am struggling
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Do you have any songs that you like and recommend? Related to Beetlejuice or not! 🪲 🧃 🎶
Ooooo!!!!!!!!!!
I’m gonna preface this by saying that I like to listen to a lot of random music with varying degrees of adult content and if you’re a minor or not comfortable with that stuff, please don’t take my recommendations at face value and keep yourself safe and happy. A lot of the music I listen to gets really vulgar and dark and often touch on very existential or crude topics as those are the things my brain latches onto due to my own mental health.
I have so much music I really enjoy but it’s so hard to pin it down cus I either love every song from one band/artist almost equally (and extremely much) or I love random specific songs but to a lesser degree…!
I’m a really big fan of Will Wood in general, prolly my alltime favorite artist!! I don’t even really know an album I would recommend tho as all of them are so very different!!!
It’s kinda on a spectrum of depression and unhinged to somewhat okay and pretty calm, with his first album being on the unhinged&depression side and then in order until his latest album they slowly become more calm and healthier but still sorta struggling? That’s how I think I’d describe his music!!
The topics in the songs are very existencial a lot and get really dark so that’s something to look out for if that’s not gonna work out for you tho!!!!!
For a beginner listener I guess I might recommend the Self-Ish album, mainly because that’s the first album by him that I listened to, but also cus it’s really energetic and fun in it’s existencialism, it’s just kinda crazy more than anything else-!
Other than that…
*flips through youtube real quick to see what I like cus my memory doesn’t work right*
OH OF COURSE
Now, my taste in music is kinda fucked up-
But I’ll give a (much smaller than expected) list of songs (ESPECIALLY WITH THE MUSIC VIDEO) that I really enjoy for that exact reason:
Bring Me All Of Your Teeth by Hot Dad
O b l i v i o n by Ctrl Ult Delete
I am realizing I don’t wanna call songs I like fucked up without them being very specific cus idk what’s normal or not and I don’t want anybody to think a song they like is weird in a bad way or anything but I feel like these two are okay to call kinda fucked up!!! (Affectionate)
UHHHHHH
Man, I really don’t have any good grasp on anything I enjoy at all unless it’s a special interest???
I’d be happy to share the playlists I listen to the most if anybody wants to listen to them cus idk what else I’d actively recommend???
#ask#rambles#music#I am a goddamn mess don’t look at me lmao#I admire you humoring me and my weird brain and indulging in my very strange interests!!!#this lil wrinkly lump of mine which is also my entire being in the realest sense is all over the place all the time#there was literally a time I completely genuinely listened to all the Clowncore albums on repeat for a month or two-!#my gray matter blob is just going wild-!!#I literally have no idea about anything at any point unless I am staring at it or am asked a very specific question#idk what I enjoy man. I’m just a lil dude with autism and ADHD and suddenly I know all the songs by a random fucked up artist-!!!#thank you for the ask#I know I didn’t really answer very elegantly but I never do with things so I guess this was the outcome that was expected maybe-?#i talk so much and never about the topic at hand and suddenly I’ve recommended a whole-ass thing instead of being specific#I can never tell what the rules are for questions like this but technically the Self-Ish album contains songs?? (and only songs ofc)#so I guess I didn’t answer it WRONGLY technically??#idk man idk#I would recommend beetlejuice music in general but my brain is taking that very literally and I’m not about to ask-#-people to go check out Vieze Jack cus that doesn’t feel very responsible even if I do absolutely love that gross babie of a man#it’s all dutch and I understand nothing but there IS a dedicated person out there who uploads his music videos with english subs#and I also have a friend who helps me translate when I need to (everyone say thank you to Kerenitychan!!!)#he started as a beetlejuice street/stage/whatever performer and later used it to make a name for himself#he has very weird toonjuice vibes and I love him so much-!!!#he once did the ice nucket challenge by pissing into a bucket and pouring it over a girl (but not really) and he’s so fucked up#bucket*#I love him so much#but he’s been trying to slowly change his brand. ge’s still got strong juice vibes but he’s gotten a more BJ-adjacent vibe now instead of-#-the full stripes and dark purple around the eyes and whoever does his hair is better now and stuff and I think his budget has just-#-improved over-all and idk he looks nice idk#ANYWAYS I NEED TO STOP RAMBLING ABOUT VJ LMAO#I should try to find my fanart of him and post it on here cus I haven’t yet since it’s not new art OTL
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as bad of an experience i had interacting with other atinys and arena staff at the Ateez concert i went to, it was so heartening to see how respectful and loving everyone was to Ateez themselves.
i really, really hope that i see carats giving Seventeen the same amount of love and respect on the upcoming tour
#this will be my first time seeing SVT in person (i was 13 when they debuted; this is the first US tour I haven't been in school for)#and im ngl lie.... im a little worried about how the reception is gonna be when they come to New York#im seeing the 2nd show on Sunday so we won't even be the first New York crowd- and the 4th show in the US tour total (plus the Goyang shows#and with some of the absolute vitriol ive seen directed at our boys recently? i really hope that energy doesn't come to the shows#like regardless of your personal opinion on what should be done in light of the cb/tt/spill the feels stuff-#if i hear the arena start booing the men who've been working tirelessly to get this far for over half my (and many other carats) lives?#genuinely? at that point we do not deserve them#idk man. this is probably just paranoia brain because its not a majority that are doing this in the first place#but for a short while it got really rough just seeing it constantly towards some of the members and it makes me nervous#i just want everyone to have a good time. is that too much to hope for?#shut up kugō#also this is NOT an invitation to talk to me about the cb/tt btw. i just needed to get this out and none of my irls care about kpop#rlly hope that doesn't come off as rude but i genuinely just don't have the energy to go in circles about it im sorry#also the majority of my concert experience is punk/metal where fans will openly boo and mock the performers if they don't like something-#so maybe this isn't something i need to be scared about at all? maybe kpop concerts just generally have more decorum?
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i think being pIural is cool and all but i think whoever decided the roommate assignment going on here was sorely mistaken. you took a piece from 24 different machines and shoved them all into the same fucked up frankenstein-esque contraption!!! we're NOT COMPATIBLE!!! the wires are misaligned and the gears barely spin and the connection only makes a spark 20% of the time!!! we're not even a fully working machine in the end, we're a hastily cobbled together science fair project!!! how does anyone expect us to work well together???? we are in CONSTANT conflict!!! who fuckin did this to us!!!!!!
#in concept being pIural is great like i love gettin to hang out with brain friends!!#sharing a body with these fellas in specific? FUCKED UP SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF HERE.#but it's fuckin like. even if we did split into 24 pieces we'd be fuckin pieces. we all /do/ have to work together to exist.#we are co-dependent on each other to get this body up and running but I FUCKIN HATE IT HEREEEE!!!!#their personalities i vibe with. but their wants are so so different from mine. i have so many wants IM NAMED YEARNING FOR A REASON.#always a damn disagreement over something or other. and majority rules! what's good for all wins out because obviously we all want what's#best for the system. the needs of many outweighs the wants of the few. and we all have to decide the best route for the blanket self.#do NOT get me wrong i get it i know why and i love them. my scabbards are family to me and we're all part of the same self and all but...#god. /god./ i'd just like to be... selfish for once???#not much of a self to have in the first place though HA!!#im just a pathetic little piece of something. who would i be to decide for all of us? somethings fuckin wrong with us man idk lol#🌻#<- mostly me but of course we're blending as usual#[three of swords]
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i think men dont understand what their words do to me. (mentally)
#in a good way#personal#dumb shit#my thoughts#ignore this pls#just my dumb thoughts#or like not in a good way for my weird brain but not like that they say mean stuff#just things what makes me think wow a man never said this to me is he my dad????#i need to worship him kinda way#but also in a way i want to give bjs to you#idk how my brain works#im all over the place
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