#i just.... am struggling | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

selfnss · 1 year ago

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// i was gonna write something today like i was gonna write literally anything just Something.... but my meds are changing and im not feeling too hot actually so i just. Didn't write anything at all i guess... getting brain zaps from coming off sertraline and also just not coping well with life atm i guess. sorry for the lack of content i'm just in a very weird place right now and i really don't know how to cope with it tbh

#ooc.#personal //#turns out the sertraline was doing Something #cus my mood swings are literally all over the place now i'm off it #man was i this bad before i got on that stuff??#jees #i'm so tired and low energy at the moment and iu know that's only gonna get worse with what i'm going onto as of tomorrow #im literally sat here willing myself to do something just something just do Something but instead i just #start to fall asleep at my desk #and i keep having crying fits for like. some reason i guess #idk im not doing too hot #the Bad Thoughts are coming back and i just want to lay down and sleep all the time #im like. paralysed??? all the time at the moment #there's so many things i want to do but instead i just end up having weird brain zaps and head rushes in between episodes of falling asleep #idk!!!#but yeah #sorry for the lack of content #im trying #i want to be here #i just.... am struggling

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theoldkyokodied · 1 year ago

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Really quick doodles of a few scenes from the stream yesterday. Including combat flirting taunting, gale’s magnificently distracting shoes and.. whatever you wanna call gale agreeing to give 15 gold to astarion 😐😑😐😑😐 (that’s me blinking)

#bloodweave #astarion x gale #gale x astarion #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #gale dekarios #astarion ancunin #they are so funny god help. thank you to whoever sat Neil next to Tim #my roommate turning to look directly at me whenever they were interacting lik bestie please stop I am trying to be normal. don’t look at me #my roommate also said Neil acting low-key obsessed with gale and I could only say wow he’s just like me fr fr.#if I didn’t still struggle with getting shadowhearts likeness you would get a drawing of her hugging bing bong too but alas …#anyway the stream was so fun #can’t wait til tomorrow hehe

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transthatfag · 3 months ago

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destiel forehead healing kiss. what more could u want.

#art #digital art #my art 🦷#digital painting #supernatural #destiel #castiel #dean winchester #spn fanart #spn #destiel fanart #i am. so tired.#i tried my hardest to not half ass this and give up #i sorta accomplished that but not really #ill have some grace for myself tho cause i really struggled to make art this month :/#spn fanart is so theraputic tho #i missed making my visions for this show #it also just felt like the most low stakes thing to make #this looks way better *not* on mobile.. too lazy to edit this shit now

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mienar · 7 months ago

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the wandering painter, part one

instagram | shop | commission info

#artists on tumblr #illustration #animated illustration #animation #backgrounds #animated gifs #background illustration #myillust #landscape #plants #scenery #summer #hiii! just wanted to share an artwork i made that's super fresh from the oven ksfknsf #'the wandering painter' will be a series that consists of artworks that has elements that i struggle to draw and am trying to improve on!#ive always really struggled with the process of painting (for example) clouds fields grass grasslands flowers etc #despite the end result coming out satisfactory imo but i cant deny that it most of the time feels like a fluke #so this series would consist of my journey of improving how to draw said elements/areas more confidently :D #this artwork in particular - i studied and practiced how to paint/draw silver grass better along with grasses and clouds #i feel like im sorta getting the hang of it but theres definitely room to study and experiment how i can paint it better #so yeah! nonetheless i really hope you'll like this! and i hope you'll have a lovely day/night ahead <3333

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bastart13 · 10 months ago

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Hazbin Hotel is a mess, pacing-wise, but I missed a good animated musical with just the Worst People so here are some of my Worsties :D

#hazbin hotel #sir pentious #rosie #velvette #valentino #carmilla carmine #sketches #i need to draw them together but the vees are a polycule who make each other's lives worse #alastor being aroace instantly makes him so much funnier #he's great #and charlie is a sweetie #i am struggling with the earless/noseless style #i just cave and add them

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hollytree33 · 3 months ago

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Hi so I might’ve made a painting of my Inquisitor while trying to mimic Solas’s style so I can pretend he made it

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everyonesadoptivedad · 6 months ago

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something something height difference something?

#jerejean #aftg #aftg art #jeremy knox #jean moreau #the trojans #idk man i JUST IMAGINE WHEN JEAN GETS MORE COMFORTABLE WITH BEING TOUCHED AND LIKE JEREMY IS SHORTER BUT HE HAS strong core idk #idk #i am having sp much anxiety posting this #ghhhhehfbfbh #do yall know how much i struggled with deciding whether or not to give jeremy thE surfer hair #tsc #my art

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homeofwyrm · 5 months ago

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Jodybeth sketch to hold me over

#art #the locked tomb #tlt #coronabeth tridentarius #judith deuteros #jodybeth #honestly really struggling artwise atm #nothing is coming out good at all so just sketching anything to try and break out of it #i have band au ideas for them i am aching to do

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windfalling · 4 months ago

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1.02 // 1.06 // 1.08 The Stranger vs. Sol on recognizing and differentiating Osha and Mae

#the acolyte #theacolyteedit #starwarsedit #osha x qimir #oshamir #osha aniseya #qimir the acolyte #sol the acolyte #star wars #mae aniseya #sometimes i make things #the acolyte dragging me back to fandom and gifmaking #i am not back on tumblr except i am just for this #i have a couple other gif ideas we'll see if i end up making them #there's something about sol's paternalistic attachment to osha leading him to tunnel vision when it comes to her #mae as an extension of osha #mae as the version that went wrong; corrupted;#whereas the stranger recognises and treats them as different people almost right away #and there is something so compelling to that #that even the person who claims to love you (and does love you in his own way) struggles to even recognise you #and will always see you as that little girl on brendok who needs saving #the stranger sees the parts of her that were unwanted; acknowledges her grief and anger and trauma #whereas the jedi and by extension sol saw that as a threat #ANYWAY im done i dont know anything about star wars except that i need this to be renewed asap

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yudol-skorbi · 1 year ago

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i am at the point where if i dont finish now i'll newer finish so yeah the rest of the gaaaaaang

#critical role #the mighty nein #fanart #caleb widogast #mollymauk tealeaf #fjord stone #caduceus clay #the male passing fellas #this was harder then i fuckin thought #i hope someone will make taliesin personally apologize to every animator who will work on molly #caleb my love i adore your palette you look like dirt and smell of cat piss💜#i FINALLY FUUUCKIN FIGURED OUT FJORD O YEA #i was struggling with him for ages #mr duce zero complains absolute ideal of a character #tho i am still not entirely pleased with colors #but fuck it #if i keep going like this i'll just never post anything ever

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boringwomanwithabook · 28 days ago

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it's all good if you don't like it

#just posting in case anyone needs it #got some horrible news today and i am struggling badly to be a person #stay safe and take care #its tuesdays post sorry #personal

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 11 months ago

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Lan Wangji Goes To Lotus Pier AU: Part 1: Dread on Arrival

(Part 2)

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #lan wangji #jiang fengmian #jiang cheng #wei wuxian #Yungmeng Jiang Training Arc AU #MDZS AU #The AU name for this idea is something I am 100% willing to change if someone has a better one.#There will be at least 2-3 more comics so *please*. Ideas and feedback welcome.#The core idea behind this AU is that LWJ goes to study with the Yunmeng Jiang sect instead of JC and WWX going to Cloud Recess #But why? Well I imagine Lan Xichen set it up to give LWJ a challenge (more social than skill based) and LWJ rose to it (begrudgingly)#Sort of a 'You've mastered so many Lan techniques but Other Sects have styles that are worth learning.' set up.#Lan Qiren agrees mostly on the basis that...well it's LWJ. Yunmeng Jiang is unruly but LWJ is beyond that riff-raff. He'll rise above it.#This is the story of a boy who thrives on routine and rules spending time in a place that is his apparent antithesis.#Also it is so warm there. He is used to it being cold and what do you MEAN just take off some of my layers?#I just want to see him struggle and flail in many situations. And get him in Jiang Purple. Is that so wrong of me?#(Soaking wet JC is part of my 'JC was born to swim; forced to hold a sword' agenda. Do not remove him from the water)#((Politeness notes: JFM would *not* call LWJ 'lan wangji' nor would LWJ be vocally impolite to a sect leader.))

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eldritchgray · 2 years ago

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Happy World Turtle Day, have some catchphrases!

#this took me #SO MUCH time lmao #i struggled a lot with the rise crew #and i know it's not perfect but i eventually just needed to call it done #so it's done #despite the imperfections i am super proud of this #it was an... ambitious project for me #tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt #tmnt 2012 #tmnt 2003 #tmnt 1987 #world turtle day #drawing #art #eldritchart

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persona-brainrot-real · 3 months ago

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Sae Niijima is such a good character it drives me insane a little. She's not a mother nor a maternal or doting older sister but instead a twenty four year old who was thrown into a position of responsibility that she never asked for. She loves Makoto just as much as she resents her and its so apparent every time they talk up until November. "Are you studying?" (I want you to do well) (I need you to get a job and stop making my life harder) "I'll use any method necessary to get this promotion" (Life will be easier for us) (So stop distracting me with your problems) "Focus on your future" (I know that you're capable) (I can't afford to waste my time on you, so stop wasting time on others)

Makoto is not only the sole reason she pushes as hard as she does for a promotion, for success, and the reason that she loses herself in her animosity over her fathers death, but also someone she can't stand for so long. Makoto was 14-15 when their father died. Sae was 21. As soon as she got the career she wanted and things started to look up, her stability was robbed from her and she was disillusioned with the system that her father had taught her to rely on and completely adhere to. How do you manage, the daughter of a cop, following his footsteps towards law enforcement, when you're suddenly reminded of how unfair it is? You can't quit, your little sister relies on you and she's so young and struggling just as badly with this grief. So you pick yourself up and you get moving again. You push harder, press further. You abandon your morals and your ethics because punishing criminals (guilty or not) is almost like punishing the man who killed your father.

And the whole time she's fighting for promotions, going for drinks with the SIU Director to make herself more favourable for promotions, trying to navigate being a woman in a competitive, suffocating, male-dominated field, falling behind despite doing so much where others are promoted for doing so little - all the while your little sister comes back from school and her biggest issues are so small compared to yours.

Persona 5 revolves so heavily around grief and loss and change and Sae embodies all of that so well, all of the sharp and unpleasant and jagged parts of grief.

#sae niijima #persona brainrot real #idk what possessed me for this i jsut love her #beyond her being rlly hot and such a driven and compelling character #the way that we see her on screen is so heavily shaped and influenced by grief that its almost crushing when you notice it #she focuses on work because if she falls behind it could cost her and her sister everything #yet she lives in her fathers house. works a job her father would be proud of. is praised through her proximity to her father.#her sister idolises her and relies on her like a parent. sae was never supposed to be that to her #how am i meant to be your mother and your father? how am i meant to be the source of stability in your life when im not stable in mine #and the whole time your little sister sits there and where shes actually putting on a brave face and forcing through her own grief #struggling to put a life without her father into perspective #to you she just looks ... complacent. willfully ignorant to the situation that you're both in and the struggles you're both facing #why WOULDNT you hate her?#and then you realise that shes not ignorant. shes not as stupid or as oblivious as you thought #every time she was being distracting and asking pointless questions she was just reaching out to you #and each time you had to push her hand away and tell her not now. focus. study.#they drive me insane actually #persona 5 #p5r #persona 5 royal #makoto niijima

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xxplastic-cubexx · 1 month ago

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you open my Super Important Documents and its just pictures of charles xavier

#xmen #mcu #xmen movies #xmen first class #charles xavier #professor x #snap sketches #todays schedule has been ruined by my ever occurring need to practice drawing movie charles its horrendous #i started this sheet last night but then i kept adding to it and i keep wanting to add to it but i MUST stop myself #in an ideal world i get paid to draw charles xavier and erik lehnsherr but no i live in this baka society #sleepless charles WAS inspired by me starting this at 1AM and forcing myself to sleep at 4AM #and then here i am picking i up still later .... i need professional help i fear but i aint got time for that #NEVERTHELESS I THINK IT GOT IT NOW. I THINK IM OK. i think i know how i wanna go bout drawing him now ...#chat can i confess that like. .5% of the reason i barely draw FC charles i because of his hair #for some reason some demonic entity prevents me from drawing it easily i am in STRUGGLE CITY #the only thing that gets me is that whenever i draw him i can only think of the likes of a disney prince but man thems the strokes ig #i also drew a quick dark phoenix charles but i figured id just keep this first class oriented #anything else i want to say ? uh. hm. its funny i never do any of these sheets for erik #genuinely On My Life made One (1) sheet and was like 'no yeah i got it. i got it down'#literally not my fault his head is So Shaped and defined but anyways. this aint about him.#i mean it could be. i still wanna do a doodle page concentrated on drawing how his powers show #more specifically how do i wanna draw the glow cause i cant decide on it ... also i wanna draw the 'levels' ...#but thats for another time. for right now i should probably eat i havent eaten all day #bye bye !!!!!! here's to hoping i draw something thats not a doodle sheet one of these days

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renonv · 5 months ago

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Here comes the Sun himself ☀️

glassless versión

#here comes the sun boogie woogie #hetalia #hws spain #aph spain #antonio fernandez carriedo #gangstalia #I stayed until 2 am drawing him bc. I’ve been struggling w art for the last two days and I was going crazy #I’m like I NEED A DUB’#and I’m happy w this one I think I finally did Antonio justice 😭#i hate his fucking tie #I think this guy hates ties and purposefully chose that one #IT DOESNT MATCH THE OUTFIT GGRRR #or I guess it’s like an accent to his gold belt. idfk #I just know Romano was spinning in his fucking bed after meeting this man bc the idea of that. leaf print tie haunted him #that and the gay thoughts #fix him Romano …. fix him #I keep saving the draft then coming back bc ACTUALLY ROMANO CANT SAY SHIT w the Italy flag tie #both of them straight to prison

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