#( i should sleep but ew no )
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people will think im ordinary until they say one (1) thing about tmnt and all of a sudden im explaining the entire lore starting from the 1990’s movie & why donatello is the best turtle i fear… T^T
tag limit fights me… i must yap… please listen… SOB </3
#tmnt yap in the taggies !!#would you believe me if i said my cat is named after donnie… teehee !! ^_^#i have been a tmnt lover since i was the ripe age of 6 years old SOBSOB#i used to write bf headcanons on wattpad way long ago… thats where my love for writing started i fear…#i probably have more tmnt merch than i do anime merch which is soso crazy to think about PHEW !!!#notebooks cups plushies legos shirts pajamas stickers tins action figs keychains name something and i have it… is that weird… SOB#im not joking when i say i know the entire lore and could explain everything from start to finish… FOR EACH AND EVERY REBOOT EVER…. wowza…#other than rottmnt because i’ve never been a fan of that reboot sigh…#the only reason donatello hamato isnt on my blorbie list is because i do not want to seem out of touch… he used to be there though !! :3#also i love raph too sigh#i fear donnie was my start to my love for nerdy men… raph was for the mean ones… cough cough akaashi and bakugo#tall lanky men… yeah hes a turtle… i know… let me speak… pls… i beg… T^T#tmnt 2012 will always be my star my light my beloved#i can recite every single episode </3 ALSO THE 2014 & 2017 MOVIES DONT GET ME STARTED i have them on dvd :3#i also have the 1990’s movies on dvd teehee theyre sososososoo good T^T my comfort franchise forever and always#i may always speak of anime but just know tmnt will always be the start of it all and my most beloved <3 its everything to me#also i was and still am an avid tmnt 2012 april oneil hater someone get her out of there i loathe her >:/#was never a supa big fan of leo im very sorry… idk who im sorry to… where are my tmnt fans… am i alone in this world… hello… tmnt fans…#omigosh im back after looking at my old wattpad story IM GIGGLING why was the writing kinda good… it was first person though sigh… goodness#i should create my own tmnt yap tag i fear… i will never shut up about it EVER SOBSOBSOB !! i even had a tmnt party when i was younger </3#donnie ( & mikey ) are so misunderstood UGH i could yap about the lore all day. donnie deserved more recognition he was always doing so muc#FOR ALL of his brothers and they never appreciated it… ill cry right now. donnie you will always be famous to me. april doesnt deserve you.#raph and his temper are so misunderstood too like please. always making him the bad guy HE JUST WANTS TO BE A GOOD BROTHER HES JUST AWKWARD#remembering when i had a crush on a guy names joseph in first grade and he liked tmnt too… joseph just know we were soulmates… i promise </#i used to go up to the tv and kiss the screen when donnie showed up. i was like 6 years old tho its okay… still sleep with my stuffie tho.#thank you to my yaya for buying me that when i had the flu hes still in perfect condition SOB donatello i love you so much UGH im crying#‘thats a mutant turtle ew !!’ HE IS VERY BEAUTIFUL AND LOVEABLE TO ME. YOU WOULDNT UNDERSTAND EVERYPONY </3 nia reference woah hi nia :3#whos in favor of tmnt. raise your hands up high so i can see them. im giggling. tmnt lovers rise we sha’ll prosper… WE RIDE AT DAWN 🦅🦅🦅#is this like totally crazy of me… has anyone read this far… if you have jusy know i love you. i cherish you. you are my everything <3#₍ᐢ..ᐢ₎ — lene’s latest gossip .ᐟ
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As a sorry for the angst earlier
Have this Tori I drew from a thing I saw on Twitter
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i'm sick and coughing so much my soul leaves my body multiple times but here's the first ever Springtrap drawing I made. This is from 2015
#help he got strands of hair on top of his head thats shaped like an ass#i dont even know what to say#this is from 2015 and im pretty sure its the first drawing because back then i didnt like him at all#it wasnt a 'oh i HATE this character SO MUCH' but a 'ew ugly and idc'#this means i didnt draw him that often#now i lay in bed to watch springtrap edits#now i draw him so often i almost completely memorized his design#and when im having trouble sleeping i imagine hes sitting on the side of my bed with his hand gently placed over my head#'whats wrong?' he asks#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#springtrap#i should redraw this later
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THERE ARE LEECHES IN MY EYEBALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! grug can you hear me grugg grugg where are you grugg the DRILL grugg get the DRILL GRU-
#grug get the drill#migraines shouldn't be allowed to last for more than 3 days what IS THIS BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#:'D#im going to fight the sun#with my eyes closed bc light. ew. but i fhink we should brng the heatdeath of the universe tonigh#pack it up boys it's all over this is it#TRIED TO STAND UP BAD IDEA ABORT MISSI9N#this is my life now. everything's spinning. why the fuck did i think drawing spirals all over the place was a good idea#im going to either go back to sleep or ascend wish me luc#k#luck#luuuuck#that's all from me today ok bye good morning bye#delete l8r fuck this#lmaooooooooooo
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dumb doodles
#eddsworld#ew oc#eddsworld matt#ew matt#oc doodles#im having silly fun- i should draw mercury later tho#marxin the sleep deprived
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OK. Me being me I'm incapable of thinking about lrb for long (like, fifteen seconds) without in turn thinking about a rhps au.
#like an au where they're putting on rhps to be clear.#college au probably#patrick gets roped into being frank bc he has the pipes and such but he's wigged out by all of the Stuff#(not in an “ew i dont want to wear a corset and fishnets” way per se but like in an “oh god in front of all those PEOPLE???” way)#pete is probably running the whole thing but also he should be rocky.#it would be funny to me if gabe saporta was brad. just because like... you know?#listen it's after 3 and i haven't been able to sleep#we're lucky i'm THIS coherent even
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i am once again jumping around in writing and wrote part of a chapter in act 3 while writing more of A1C1
and i am not okay
it was very cathartic tho
...i wrote it at 2 in the morning
on my phone
...do i need to mention again that this AU was revived to be a representation of my grief and help me process it, after playing both persona 3 portable and reload made me think about its core theme quite a bit?
anyway have this doodle from last month from my doodle psd cause it's cute and to offset the sadness (guidesprite duo cause they both merged with their guidesprite when ascending)
also the height difference is pretty accurate (heightcomparison.com)
#eddsworldstuck#ews creator#art by joker#matt#RT#me after playing a little of feh after it reset at 2 in the morning: hm i should probably sleep#me getting an idea: oh wait! *opens google doc on my phone*#me after almost an hour of writing: oh. oh those are tears#i am very much not hiding the fact that my grief is woven into this#i think it really adds to it that i was listening to a bunch of persona 3 songs while writing before i finally went to sleep#''was it memories of you?'' it was memories of you...#''wait act 3?'' yeah there's at least 4 acts in this thing. less than the old version of ews i had planned#to be fair the old version had shorter chapters and honestly shouldn't have been planned to have 10 chapters in act 1 lmao#i'll figure out how to draw the dog ears eventually#...wait. *looks at howl from game of dice* he's a wolf but- dog ear reference 👀#no one is allowed to change my mind on the headcanon heights i have for the 4
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u should hit the heart to get a starter where your muse meets aisling for the first time, but it's when aisling has only been in manhattan for (at most) a week or two!
#( OUT OF SOULS. )#( also while i just )#( v quickly do the rags to riches challenge on s4 )#( ' one of six. ' / starter call. )#( i should sleep but ew no )
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help it would be really great to have time management skills rn
#i’ve got to do guitar#and songwriting#and record said songs#and facetime my friend#and do the celebration asks#and do this art project for my wall#and i’ve got a bunch of things i need to text ppl abt (cannot remember what but there’s things)#and i’ve got like 6 hours bc i also need to fix my sleep schedule yay#except i’m going out rn and probs won’t be back for ages#actually it’s fine bc i’ve got like a week to do most of these#until school starts#ew#why is school starting in a week#that is not okay#why is FEBRUARY in a week#THAT IS NOT OKAY#it has not been a month of 2024 i refuse to believe it#its still 2023 actually#i have not processed#wow that’s a lot of tags shit maybe i should process#just dandy thoughts
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So umm found Welcome Home and yeah.....
#my art#starting drawing#welcome home#frank frankly#eddie dear#Welcome Home is such a cute little show. The characters are cool. (some of them I'm still getting used to.) I think Eddie is my favorite.#I choose to ignore the horror bit cause I am not a fan of horror. I know it's not real but I'd like to be able to sleep......#Also because I tend to overthink things. So horror and me don't mix.#If I wasn't an overthinker sure I'd probably enjoy a bit of horror.#I mean I could be just plain scared. It's hard to tell.#I do like the AU that Home is the villain...... I saw one comic about it that I'm like. Okay. It's not complete horror I can work with it.#For gosh sake I got scared with the Bethany Hamilton movie (shark bitting her leg off) Ew. I was forced to watch it-#and I wanted to curl up and die..... I am not a wuss/chicken/ ect. My brain just can't take it. I remember these things too well.#I am rambling I should probably stop. Thanks for listening Have a great morning/ day/ afternoon/ evening/ night. :)
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It occurs to me that both Tyr and Estinien have sat by each others bedsides waiting for the other to wake up…
#ffxiv#wol#tyr#tyr haragin#estinien#if I had the brain cells left I would do something with this#after ew they can sleep in the same bed together and neither of them are hurt it’ll be fine#I feel like the vibes are different for each of them#Tyr’s used to losing people very suddenly and I’d imagine he was so anxious about Estinien post nidhogg#Estinien I think saw Tyr getting hit as a long time coming and he’s a lot more aware of how human he is so has more doubts#Tyr also tries to get up and move before he can/should#he can sit still for a couple days but after that he wants to Go
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ew, i have this fb friend who is defending justin timberlake on all her posts like ew can't relate. so what britney dances with knives. It shouldn't be her business, especially if she defends justin. she says one more thing bad on brit shit on her invalidate her valid speaking out bc she didn't get a chance is ridic but all good on good old him good clap it out bc hes so p e r f e c t ? what a load of shit?! She deadass has a fucked up ideology on him imma have to say some shit i'd been holding back on her bc no, not okay. ew. One more time this girl is getting unfriended this is personally. I don't think I'm overreacting. 🤔 no bc godforbid lol ew I'm pissy.
#personal#tables turn 20 years later#she treated me crappy in hs and thought she had the upper hand maybe i should just hand her ass back to her in a non violent way#she had the nerve the friggin audacity to say she likes them both nonsense! clearly shes got a bias and she picked the wrong person to back#he deserves his name in my mud#everything was a response to THAT#he wasnt mr innocent stop treating him like hes wonderful ew what a fucking disgrace#imma say it your gonna support timberfake? i do not wanna know you period#f him!!#dude late april and may is gonna be crazy!#haaha what is gonna happen to my fave meme#imma sleep now bc f it
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The bookmark tag was #holder until i think of a tag for these asks but To Be Real even I forgot what it was...
BUT YEAH thanks so much for reading and I'm glad it's :] Intelligible At Least :] obviously I would be up for reading anything that came to mind after putting you and your followers through All That but understandable... A lot of people I've shown the checklist items or pointed out specific behaviors to have actually said similar [i.e. I'm In This Picture And I Don't Like It], so I totally get what you mean, too!
I think a lot of my picks wound up being generalized trauma responses/aftereffects of abuse or neglect [hence I meandered off into just talking about Jo's father half the time], so I guess it's to be expected a lot of them don't read as being CSA-specific or are broadly relatable; it's not like he's supposed to be read that way, after all. I just wasn't able to zero in on many of the more specific ones because I've Never Seen Jo In This Situation Chief I Don't Know What He Thinks About His Name Or His Body Or Mirrors Or Sex Or Affection I Don't Know How Well Or Poorly He Sleeps [Presumably Poorly Though He Has The Second-Reddest Eyes In The Whole Game]
I don't really think I'll have anything to add though unless Infinite Wealth goes off the rails or I actually continue reading the book... so that will have to do... I originally was just riffing on RGGJo's attachment issues, self-destructiveness, and specific entwinement of sexuality/aggression/romance, and his portrayal in my fic lined up pretty closely, so I thought it'd be interesting to apply the same lens to Y7Jo...
But Yeah x2 thank you for the opportunity to talk about it and I'm Glad It's Intelligible At Least x2
THANK YOU i really should change that tag to something better... <- i will immediately forget to do so like a jackass
BUT YA OF COURSE OF COURSE i was truthful when i said it was a real good read (but once again. i have -5 speech skills so i can't properly word SHIT) and was a thorough examination of jo's trauma and how it manifests in him and how it's exhibited through his actions. ALWAYS a big fan of that :)
#snap chats#IN REGARDS TO Jo In Situations that is. VAGUELY my specialty#ive at least thought of jo's attitudes towards affection/relationships#and i Do Not Think he sleeps AS adequately as he should whether it's due to just. Overworking or#If I May Dare To Think he might be prone to night terrors#the Danger Zone of me thinking of Jo In Situations that dont have a lot of background is that i end up projecting a LOT of my issues LMAO#i dont know what it says about me when a lot of those issues seem to fit him#i do try my best NOT to over project of course i try to keep everyone relatively in the bounds of believability to their charas#which is why its funny when i do end up doin a lil projection it works out. Apparently#not sure i could do the same when it comes to jo's POV on his name and body tho. i hate those things bout myself for uh#VERY different reasons LMAOO tho i could imagine jo harboring some feelings of. hm. whats the word.#not Total Disgust But Some and Some Agitation whenever he has to acknowledge he exists outside of being a tool. To Put It Bluntly#cause we know he sees himself as a tool in some aspects- a bullet more specifically. so i can imagine instances where he has to Be A Human#its just. Ew Whats That LMAO YK WHAT I MEAN i do. i know what i mean. mirrors are evil#SORRY IM RAMBLING i shouldnt be.. i got gameritis <- i fucked up my wrists playing sonic riders somehow and it hurts to move#point is i very much enjoy thinking of jo and i enjoy looking at him through a multitude of lenses so AGAIN#thank you much for writing in :] im sorry i have three jewel beetles and a cicada shell for a brain#i am always interested in reading what you have to say tho... cant stress that enough..#truly curious for how jo will be in infinite wealth now that he Doesnt have to be a bullet anymore. what are you like my guy.. lemme see..#now pardon me while i fuck up my wrists more. i do not want to do my job today (i will soon im just delaying the inevitable. as a treat)
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i so desperately feel like writing something for skz but i have absolutely zero ideas for anything what is wrong w me
#lately i always have the urge to write but creativity is empty#maybe…….maybe that means i should open requests….????#bc then it’s like free ideas lmao#but i also hate the pressure of feeling like i need to do all of the requests bc like some of them i don’t wanna y’know??#anyway things to consider ig#but i should sleep anyway it’s late and ew i go back to work tomorrow#i forgot i go back to work tomorrow omfg i wanna die#ok now i’m just rambling goodnight
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oc comic thing for the candy army au that i had in my mind. i keep thinking "he so out of everything what if his brain just. tunes alot of shit out like...yk how some people cope with trauma- i think-
just a brain moment going on idk uhh...sorry for the tag but uh candy army au is by @grimm-hunter (ill probably do the @/ thing if its just a oc thingy going on so i dont blow up your notifications)
this au is so cool tho fnjcs my brain overthinkin but eh *shrugs*
#marxin the sleep deprived#uhh should i even tag the other stuff- or am i overthinkin#..............................im just gonna do ew oc#ew oc#imma just sit in the corner anxiously since i think im overthinkin elp
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Lmao I love getting notes on my other blogs from 2 years old posts about past blorbos, I hope u know how much I still love you Pluplu, your white hair, fangs and dog-ish charm still woo me and ahaha oh I just realised I was accidentally starting to describe Ast-
#ahahaha i literally didn't realise#lmao#ig I've had a type for a while lol#he's so puppy coded i swear-#sry im consuming 3 forms of media rn and my words are getting confused at this 1am lmao#but ast is such a puppy and he and krov are such soulmates idk#im so tired sorry#i just love pluto (black butler-)#also uh#the planet#the dwarf kiddy has always been my favourite#i love the plutos#except disney 🤮#never#ew#fuck off#srry#ANYWAY#sleep#sleep now#my 5 episodes of Outnumbered should serve as good reason to sleep-
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