#( i passed out early yesterday )
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I’m up super early. Send help.
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Fashion friday Chiaki! I normally wear monochrome only but I really loved this outfit and I totally wanna use it again soon *v*
#chiaki nanami#Sdr2#Super danganronpa 2#Danganronpa 2#Who else but pink hair princess for this pastel look#I had this ready early in the week but I spent most of yesterday totally passed out so it's a little late#An art#Also! Cleft palate scar. Oops its palate not palette? Sorry! Anyway those are dear to me and she reminds me of an OC I had with one
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Some sketches before work
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i’ve had this blog for a decade now, since i was 11 years old! and i’ve been posting my original drawings for 4.5 years, since i was 16. when i started posting my own work i had <100 followers, and yesterday i hit 5000!
i’m so grateful i get to share my drawings with this many people and i get to add happiness to the world in that way. thank you guys for being so kind and supportive of my dumb cartoons :)))
also for fun here’s the ten blogs i’ve been following the longest (who are still active):
@mimiadraws @thexfiles @marisatomay @pentheos @darkseldarine @8pxl @adrianicsea @hyrude @skeilig @walterwhte
#i was originally into superwholock when i joined tumblr but i did NOT ship any of them i just watched the shippers w quiet fascination#the first ship i really liked was wolfstar lol#i joined tumblr bc of the best of tumblr facebook page woooooo!!#also all those longest followed blogs i’ve been following since like age 13#i only follow like 60 people and like half are deactivated lol#also also also that screenshot is from yesterday i think it’s 5017 followers now. sorry i didn’t post yesterday i passed out early and#slept for 1 zillion hours thank goodness
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[ cropped 😇 ] — 💋 Cybill n Iris 💋
@grimreapersbutt — she always on that damn husband of hers fr fr she can't get enough of him
Commission Info | Ko-Fi | My Links
#happy (early) father's day to cybill 😈#my gift to him was.. 🥴💦💦 some fun art of him and his wife#I drew this one so fucking long ago man I'm finally making art again after a couple months#BUT ANYWAYYYYYY#y'all know the drill#if u know where to find it and haven't yet seen <3 go nuts over all the fun thangs I posted on priv this week <3#okay if u need me I'm going back to being half passed out on the couch#my art#cybill x iris#fallout#sole survivor#friend oc#listen I'm prolly gonna forget in like 20 mins I posted anything at all bc I am fuckin OUT OF IT after yesterday#but I am going to be soooo fuckin annoying abt reblogging my art tomorrow so likeeee my fair warning to everyone 🫡
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// looks at drafts and asks
My miiiind....my mind is telling me yes...
My heart...my heart is telling me YES!!...
But my body....my body is telling me noooo...
#ill just get an early sleep tonight me thinks#i didnt sleep at all yesterday#soooo#yea xd I'll lurk ill i pass out#then try to clear everything tomorrow#ooc
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spent from 10:30 PM to about 3:40 AM at the emergency vet last night with my brother's puppy, Snoop. she's okay, but she ate something that made her sick and I was super scared in light of Stringer's bloat so i wasn't taking chances and took her
she came home with me early this morning and we went back for a recheck around noon and she's gotten the all clear, so here's hoping all dogs stay healthy from here on out!
and no more emergency vet visits, please
#she was eating the blanket at the bottom of her crate in the brief intervals i crated her to walk Stringer#but also was gnawing obsessively on nylabones yesterday she may have ingested parts of#so i can't say for sure what did it but her stomach was all out of whack and they said her x-rays might have shown foreign objects#but the recheck today shows they've all reached her colon and out of her stomach so they will be pooped out on their own#thank fucking god - i was almost hysterical last night before becoming numb sitting in that ER with all those other animals suffering#saw some absolutely horrific things - i hate hate hate going to the emergency vet it's always traumatizing#cause not only are you dealing with your pet and their scares but then total strangers who are also contending with life and death#we got home around 4:15 this morning and i didn't get to sleep until 5ish and then was away by 7 so i'm fucking exhausted#i napped for an hour earlier this evening but i feel tonight i will pass out early
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//awake 😵💫 was gonna use the morning to write but I kinda just wanna drink tea in bed and watch comfort tv. my train isn't til 11 and it's only half 7 now though so We'll See
#is this the start of my having a normal sleep pattern? god i hope so#its not. my sleep yesterday was 1pm til 6pm and then 1am til 5am. dis bitch screwed#hoping the exhaustion of therapy and travelling today will make me pass out early tonight and wake up at a normal time#ooc: behind the scenes
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caved in and ordered meds and vicks
#in my defense i woke up early and ended up vomiting yesterday's dinner as well#i can't do chores for more than 5 mins without feeling like i will pass out#like standing for more than 5 mins just makes me dizzy#i couldn't eat anything because whatever i put in my mouth i feel like just throwing up i tried eating barely had one puri and that's it#i think tea might help but i will have to make it which is. i can't stand for extended period of time snd i have this massive headache#v.txt
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Insomnia hasn't had me do a full night of absolutely no sleep in a bit
kinda wouldn't have minded if last night hadn't been one tho
#text post#i have not slept since my last power nap around 4 something yesterday afternoon#got dishes done and Housemates morning coffee done tho#sliced up some leftover pizza place bread and had that for an early lunch with one of the cupcakes i made#got my first med of the day taken so that's done#also spiked the shit out of the cupcake with some tincture so hopefully that will encourage my body to pass out#it'll suck wasting that time to get other things done but my sleep schedule has been so rough#that i think maybe i just need to take the sleep whenever it happens#... maybe not whenever whenever like crossing the street or something#(i say as if i leave the house often enough to do that lmao)#I'm not even tired rn what is Wrong with me
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Posted to female oncology ward for these two weeks and all I can say is cancer is cruel but amidst that pain and sorrow, you can really see true love in that ward
#saying this in light of one of my group's fav patient that passed away after my shift last morning#shes in her early 30s and was a teacher and was diagnosed with breast cancer that metastases to lung and cervical lymph nodes#she was weak since she was admitted last week and usually just sleep but shes so nice every time we administered medication to her#or even when we check her vital signs despite how tired she was#her husband is a teacher too and as of late hes there every day as her condition deteriorated#apparently she wanted to undergo chemotherapy but her first cycle led to some severe side effects so her doctor doesn't allowed it#when we read the case note before clocking out the shift yesterday theres a psychiatrist entry so yeah#her husband was just caressing her hands as she slept yesterday and he looks obviously pained when my friend asked what had she eaten#because we need to fill the intake output chart and yeah she was unable to eat much anyway#it was very sad to see her husband wiping his tears silently by her bedside#and then we came to the ward this morning to find out she had passed away and there was a discharge note on her case note#apparently she supposedly will be discharged today so that she will be able to go at home#turned out she left first..#it rained the whole morning today and it kind of summarizes the mood of our group members this morning#it was sad obviously but when i think about it you can really see how much her husband really cared for her until the end#i hope he will be able to heal and that may her soul rest in peace#personal.txt
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#i woke up early today#and i feel like that tiny flower all alone next to that tree#uni starts in a little over a month for me and#im not ready ugh#it’s so crazy to me how i’ll be in second year already…it’s sort of comforting#like i made it to this point which clearly shows time will pass but it also means im getting older and growing up and i do not like that!!!!#anyways.#my walk this morning was really lovely as always. the sun was out !! >< very happy abt that since it’s been cloudy for a longggg time#and i just had a yummy breakfast :P and now im watching my best friends wedding <3#i got a new diary yesterday so im gonna start that a little later and HOPEFULLY (praying so hard) my bnd album comes in the mail today#the end of summer is always so bittersweet#♡ dear diary…
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that one post thats like girls when the disability is in fact disabling. yeah
#txtpst#almost passed out yesterday from just standing for too long . this hasnt happened since i was in like my early teens fuck all life#PATCH NOTES: could be anemic
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i think a thing im v passionate abt is music. or rather, listening to music. i listen to it when i work, when i drive, when i clean, when i walk. i spend several hours every day listening to music. once during a trip i didn't have the time to listen to music for several days and when i finally turned on some music it felt like the world was suddenly filled w more color and life. i once was so overwhelmed w awe and beauty listening to a song for the first time that it caused me to have a panic attack. in, like, a good way, like, wow, look at that song, it touched me so deeply that i lost control of my body for a moment. i sometimes get teary eyes or goosebumps when listening to music. i listen to the same song for hours on repeat. i don't know anything abt making music btw. i took guitar lessons for some time but im not talented or good at it and it took too much effort to continue. i love the sounds a guitar makes though. i also don't remember any music theory. i have a friend who's naturally talented at playing the guitar but they didn't enjoy it but even after years of not having picked up a guitar they can still play songs at birthday parties. i think it's funny that they are naturally good at it but they hate doing it and i love it but im not good at it at all.
#not fandom related#music#the song that caused me to have a panic attack is 'you don't know' by pieridian pool btw#anyway idk why i just made that post i was just cleaning up after dinner and listening to music and thought abt#how much i love music but how little im involved w it#maybe one day ill pick up the guitar again. its too much effort rn and i dont have the energy or time to commit myself to it#i think if i didn't have a phone or access to the internet i would just teach myself how to play the guitar#and my only hobbies would be playing the guitar and listening to music#on a different note im officially 5 months on T and ive passed to strangers 2 times so far 🥳#yesterday we got locker keys for a practical and were assigned either a key to the men's or women's locker room#and the person assigning the keys gave me one for the men's room. just basedon my looks#i don't remember if i said anything or if i just stepped up to them. i made a recording of my morning voice a few days ago#and it sounds like that typical trans guy voice early in transitioning.l#im still surprised that i pass bc i dress the same as i have been for many years. im letting my hair grow out. i got some beard hairs on my#face but they're rly sparse and i trim them every day and you can rly only see them in bright light or when standing close#so it's like. i must have changed in some way due to T that im not aware of and it's nice to pass. like a weight off my chest. or rather#im experiencing life the way it's supposed to be c:
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Me, yesterday, 5:30 PM: wow I’m honestly doing so great at my adult tasks; I’ve gotten some homework done, I went grocery shopping, my laundry is almost dry. I spent so many spoons and I barely feel tired! Maybe I’m finally fully recovering from burnout!
Me, yesterday, 6:00 PM: oh.
#turns out that I was not drawing from an unlimited spoon supply when I spent spoons so fast#and instead was overdrawing#because at 5:59 I thought ‘oh you know I’m a bit tired I should lay down’#and then spent almost six hours in Nap Hell as I laid down too tired to get up and take my sleep meds#but also not really sleeping consistently. like dozing except I didn’t want to.#woke up ~11:50 and apparently sent some very misspelled messages to my friends#took sleep meds. and then passed out until morning.#so… I’ve learned something here. such as ‘even if you feel fine. you know you’re spending too many spoons. slow down.’#I’m gonna try to go to bed early tonight too#and just. rest. bc I know Thursday is going to be a lot for me bc of my ASL class.#just gotta get these labs done first#the exhaustion is partially also my fault bc instead of going to bed after getting home from the airport#I did in fact go straight to DND and played until midnight because DND is Monday nights now.#but in my defense. I had napped on the plane. so I didn’t feel v tired.#but yeah I shouldn’t have done that bc that meant I was operating on a Significant Sleep Deficit yesterday and still had a lot of tasks#that absolutely could not wait. I needed food bc I didn’t have any in the house and needed laundry bc all my wearable clothes were dirty.#and I’d been in class since 9:30AM and went straight to the store from my last class and then straight to laundry after putting away grifos#and STILL FORGOT TO GET GAS#it’s fine I’ll get some today after chemistry or smth on the way home
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had to lay down. woke up at nearly 7am. got overwhelmed by our sleep schedule once again being fucked because yesterday we actually went to bed at roughly the right time and thought "oh this is great we've fixed it". decided that we're just gonna deal with it and it'll be fine. and then our brain decided that no actually we're gonna have a combination of emotions that's maybe gonna give me another breakdown if I can't figure out how to deal with them but I have no fucking clue what to do with them
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#vent post#I fucking hate this. we barely did anything yesterday because we were too fatigued and then slept at a weird time#and we're still too fatigued to do much and we need to do the stuff we'd normally do before bed#and by the time we've done that we'll probably need to nap because we will feel so much worse if we don't#and I don't want to have to try and fit my whole day around trying to fix my sleep schedule but once again what else do I fucking do#and the whole last month has been like this over and over and it's because we got covid in February and have been way more fatigued#so we have to keep laying down and when we do that we just pass the fuck out#also waking up at like 7am (shortly before what should be our bedtime) leads to us feeling really sick#the way we used to feel when we had to get up early for college. like our body can't handle it and makes us feel like shit#and to top it all off the emotional shit I'm dealing with has nothing to do with this and it just another overwhelming thing on top of it#dysphoria and homesickness my fucking beloathed#I just want to be awake at the right time and have a nice stress free day and feel relaxed for once#like we keep trying to take time to relax and set aside time to do something fun and relieve some stress#and we still end up just as stressed and when we decided to spend a whole day just trying to relax we just ended up even more anxious#I'm so fucking tired. just let me sleep at the right time. just let me fucking relax for once in my life
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