#also all those longest followed blogs i’ve been following since like age 13

[cloudabserk]

i’ve had this blog for a decade now, since i was 11 years old! and i’ve been posting my original drawings for 4.5 years, since i was 16. when i started posting my own work i had <100 followers, and yesterday i hit 5000!

i’m so grateful i get to share my drawings with this many people and i get to add happiness to the world in that way. thank you guys for being so kind and supportive of my dumb cartoons :)))

also for fun here’s the ten blogs i’ve been following the longest (who are still active):

@mimiadraws @thexfiles @marisatomay @pentheos @darkseldarine @8pxl @adrianicsea @hyrude @skeilig @walterwhte

[eurusholmmes]

Be There When I Need You | J.M.

I have been attracted to older actors literally since I was 13 years old, and finding out that Iain Glenn existed did me absolutely no favors. Please enjoy this one shot, and love Jorah Mormont just as I do. 

Prompt: Could u do a Jorah Mormont x reader where the reader sacrifices herself during a battle to save him ( she’s a total badass)? Loads of angst please and thank you!

Female Reader. This is the longest fic I’ve written in a while, and I’ve also never seen GoT s8!!! I worked really hard on this. Please let me know what you think!

Please go follow my main blog @morganas-pendragons where I will eventually be writing more GoT content!

Tagging @orderoftheflamingflamingos because I know you love Jorah 

Living in the North as a girl who was born and bred in the South was no easy feat. Your father was an expert tradesman who often found himself at the Bear Islands where he very easily befriended Lord Mormont, who often made the trades for needed supplies much easier. 

You weren’t supposed to meet his son Jorah quite yet, but you did. He was standing tall at his fathers side, no older then fifteen years old, and you admired just how regal he looked standing there. Absolutely divine. It was hard not to marvel at the strong, handsome features of the heir to the Bear Islands, but what you were unaware of is how he gazed at you. The daughter to another Lord of a much smaller house, soon to be wed to keep the trade routes and exchanges successful and plentiful for the following years.

  “My Lord, allow me the pleasure of introducing my daughter, Y/N Y/L/N to your son.” 

Jorah attempted to hide his fascination of you behind a smile and the gentlest press of lips against the back of your hand. “My Lady,” He greeted. “I believe we have quite a future ahead of us.” 

Given that your land was not that far from that of the Islands, your father requested that you stay behind to learn the art of swordplay with Jorah. He was the most talented swordsman of his age until you came around and beat him at his own game. Women were not meant for battle, but marrying a man like Jorah Mormont would be a whole other war to face. 

  “Is that how you do it, Ser?” You mused as you lightly pressed the dull edge of your training blade against his throat, knee pinning his chest to the ground as he laid flat on his back. You had often taken advantage of the art of seduction to catch him off guard, and it never failed you. 

  “I’m not a knight yet, Y/N.” 

His pupils dilated as you bent down and pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth. It was a daring move, sure, but over the time you’d been living inside the castle with the Mormonts you had never dared to venture further then holding his hand. 

   “When we wed, I will move all the Heavens above to ensure you receive your knighthood. There’s no one more deserving of it.” 

Your relationship evolved over the next few years. Jorah preferred to remain intimate behind closed doors - taking to holding hands and soft, desperate gazes across the rooms when you both occupied them. He was well respected by people, worthy of their love, and you were greatly looking forward to when you ruled the Islands together. 

What you weren’t anticipating was those three dreaded words. The ones you very rarely said with your lips and instead said with your actions. You didn’t want to love him, but you did, and the very thought of it absolutely terrified you. Sent dread down to your very core - because you knew what would happen next. 

  “I love you.” Warm hands, gentle caresses against the apples of your cheeks in the light of the fire blazing in his chambers. The two of you had retired sometime ago after the wedding preparations for the day had been finished, and Jorah wanted nothing more then to cradle you close and disappear from the world with you. 

  “Jorah-” 

  “I do. I have loved you and I will never stop loving you.” His hand travelled down the curve of your arm until it wrapped around your hip, urging you close enough that you could feel the crevices of his body against your own. You had always fit well together, like two missing pieces of a puzzle. 

  “Don’t fall any deeper in love with me.” You whispered. You spread your fingers out over his heart and lifted your head just enough to meet his gaze. Soft and warm, just like the rest of him, with his very clear adoration of you evident in the blues of his eyes. 

  “Why?” 

  “Because you won’t be there when I need you.” 

And just as you suspected, news arrived on the day after your wedding that Jorah had been involved in a slavery ring and had been caught by Eddard Stark, Lord of Winterfell. 

He had fled Westeros with only a note and a wedding ring left in the crevices of your bed with the intent of you finding it. You took his note in your hands and read his poor explanation as to why he’d been forced to hide such a treasonous act from his wife, of all people, and how he promised to be with you again when the time came for him to be pardoned. 

Bitterness kills. Bitterness kills. Bitterness kills. 

But forgiveness heals, and there was no possibility of holding a grudge against Jorah for as many years as your heart would’ve desired. You eventually forgave but you had no intentions of forgetting anything that had occurred. 

You became Queen of the Bear Islands after Jorah was exiled. Years passed and you ruled better then you would’ve anticipated, but the ring around your neck was a constant reminder of the man you’d loved and the man you’d lost. 

That was until Daenerys Targaryen arrived and the threat of the Night King loomed over your heads. Forced to fight with the North for the safety of Westeros, you left your council in charge and travelled to Winterfell for the battle against the Wights. 

You weren’t expecting what you saw waiting at the front gates. 

  “Khaleesi, if I may-” Daenerys laid her hand on Jorahs arm as she watched a horse with a single rider come into view further down the road, eyes softening as she recognized your form that sat on top of it. She had been the one to keep in contact with you about Jorah since he’d mentioned leaving a wife to rule the Bear Islands, but he’d never spoken more than that. You were too precious a memory. 

  “I believe someone has come to see you, Ser.” 

Jorahs eyes followed the stride of the horse until it skidded to a stop before him, and the breath dissipated in his lungs when he realized it was you sitting atop of it. He half expected you to berate him, to scold him for leaving you behind and to drive your fists into his body until his skin was streaked in black, blue and purple. 

He had tried so hard to forget about you. Forget the way your eyes lit up when he entered a room, or the way your hands felt when they traveled his body. The curve of your smile and the way your body felt beneath his hands. The way you showed no fear in the face of death, or how well you held yourself in battle. But he could not forget how deeply you loved him. The way you always whispered sweet nothings in the dead of night about how good a man he was and how honorable he’d become. How when he woke up from nightmares you’d already be sitting at his side and would curl a single strand of hair behind his ear and sing Jenny of Oldstones to lull him to sleep. 

How he’d left you with nothing but a ring to remember him by. 

  “Don’t fall in love with me, Jorah.” 

  “Why?” 

  “Because then you won’t be there when I need you.” 

Silence pierced the air as you dismounted and allowed one of the Unsullied to take your horse to the stables before you turned to greet Daenerys and Jorah. He stood at her side, hands behind his back and head bowed so he would not have to meet the coldness of your stare. 

Daenerys, however, saw no bitterness for the man beside her. The same man who had vowed his sword and his life to her cause, and had hidden the memory of the woman he loved deep within his heart so he would not be forced to revisit the pain of leaving her behind.  

  “Your Grace, it is a pleasure to finally meet you face to face.” Daenerys smiled and held up a hand, motioning to Jorah with a flick of her head. She very clearly was ready to leave the two of you alone for much needed reconciliation after years apart. 

  “The pleasure is all mine, My Lady. If you’ll excuse me, I have some matters that must be attended to.” Once Daenerys disappeared from view, you moved forward and extended your hand just enough to unlace Jorahs from where they trembled behind his back. Your fingers trailed down the furs that lined his arms until they linked with his own, and he stared down in disbelief before you lifted his chin just high enough to meet his eyes. 

  “Oh.” Oh indeed. “Jorah Mormont, you insufferable man.. Never has a woman missed her husband as I have missed you.” Your chest constricted painfully when you heard the way his breathing hitched and saw the tears that formed in his eyes. 

  “I remain undeserving-” 

  “Never has there been a man more deserving of my love.” You cradled his face in your hands and pressed the ghost of a kiss against the curve of his mouth just as you had done all those years ago on the training grounds. “A man more honorable, or more loyal.” Your lips trailed until they hovered over his own just close enough to feel the warmth of his breath against your skin. “No one I have loved more other then you.” 

He claimed you with his kiss. It’s difficult to preserve your emotions in front of Winterfells gates and not let him take you right there, but there had never been a time in your life when you had been so touched at how gentle he was. Years have passed since you had done this - allowing the man you love to lay his claim to you with his mouth and the slow caress of your tongue against his own. Jorah hoped you couldn’t hear the way his heart thundered when you tangled your fingers through his hair and wound them tightly enough to pull his face away. 

  “Tell me again.” He breathed. Your eyes narrowed on his lips, the flesh swollen from the intensity of your kiss. His chest was having and his hair untamed by the way you gripped it, but never had there been a time where Jorah Mormont looked so sinful. “Tell me again.” 

  “I love you.” 

No one talked about the way they saw the two of you emerge from the same chambers the following morning. How much more Jorah smiled in Daenerys presence when he knew that you were near, or how your laughter sang in the halls of Winterfell’s keep. 

He took you again the night before the battle. Your head was dazed with the effects of the wine Jaime Lannister had so graciously offered you to drink, and then again, and then again until you’d lost count after five goblets worth. The eldest Lannister was rather intriguing to be around especially when he wove tales of his times in Kings Landing - the Capital of the South - and it made you miss home even more then you had as a young girl. 

But the home you’d come to know since then was burning holes through the back of his skull from across the room, where Tormund Giantsbane made a raucous about how you were his and he should make that known to the suitors who were so clearly drawn to you. 

  “Home.” 

You had just begun to unlace his shirt when he caught your hand in his own, and your brow furrowed in confusion as his eyes fluttered shut. Whatever he was trying to prevent you from seeing beneath the fabric very clearly embarrassed him. “Jorah?” You whispered, fingers dancing along the curve of his jaw. Just the very touch of you set every nerve on fire. 

It had been so long since he'd done this. Had intimately been with a woman, let alone been with you, and you had yet to be made aware of the scars that came with his greyscale. He loathed the kind of man he’d become in his absence from you, so why should he believe you’d love him like this?

  “I don’t want you to see this.” 

  “See what?” 

   “Daenerys did not speak of my greyscale. I was away from her in search of a cure, which I found, and now there are so many-” You wrenched open the laces of his shirt and pushed it over his shoulders, gaze softening at the array of ridged scars that lined his torso. There were so much more then the last time you’d seen him. 

  “Scars?” You lifted your head just enough to brush your lips against the one closest to you, and Jorah trembled beneath your touch as you continued your trek across the valleys and ridges of his chest. “A lot of women think scars are sexy.” 

He was stunned when you flipped your position and were able to straddle him. Your knees locked at his hips and you were hunched over just enough that you were able to brush your lips against his chest, and the groan you emitted was the sexiest thing you’d ever heard. 

Then he said it again, in the midst of desperately trying to control the tears brought upon by your acceptance. 

  “Don’t fall any deeper in love with me, my wife.” 

  “Why?” 

  “Because then you won’t be there when I need you.” 

The sounds of battle raged on around him as he desperately sought out both you and Daenerys. His sight was shrouded in darkness from the ash that rained down from the heavens, corpses lined the Earth at his feet and the smell of blood remained pungent in the air. He didn’t even want to think about what would happen if the blood belonged to you. 

Daenerys had accepted you and Jorah as her sworn shields the same day you’d met her, and after much time spent together, you vowed your service and your life to The Dragon Queen in the halls of Winterfell. You and Jorah had been apart too long and you were adamant that you wouldn’t be separated anytime soon. 

Only the Gods had other plans for you. 

It was just when he found you in the midst of fending off a wight that had been ready to attack Daenerys that the first blade pierced through your armor. Daenerys froze as you stood your ground, gritting your teeth so hard that your ears began to ring. 

Then the next blade came, and the pain followed with it. It began as an ache in your abdomen, and continued on until your entire body felt as if it had been doused in dragon fire. Every cell of your existence was screaming. Your eyes burned and your hands were stained scarlet, but yet here you stood. 

Jorah was paralyzed in his place, and it was right before the last blade pierced you that you desperately screamed his name. Screamed so terrifyingly loud that he was positive you were lost to him. 

 You both had gone and done exactly what you feared the most: You had fallen in love with each other, and now after just getting you back, Jorah Mormont was about to lose the only thing in his life besides Daenerys that had given him a reason to breathe. A reason to wake up in the morning and keep moving. 

  “Hey, hey Y/N,” His voice bordered on the edge of a plea as your eyes fluttered and lifted to gaze at the sky. “We will take you to the Maester at once. Your wounds will heal and we will return to the Bear Islands once Daenerys holds the Iron Throne. I swear it,” Jorah swallowed the knot in his throat as a broken laugh fell from your lips. “Y/N-” 

  “I told you not to fall in love with me, you idiot.” 

  “And I told you I’d never stop loving you.” He curled his fingers through your hair and cradled your head in his hands, focusing on the rise and fall of your chest. It was slowing down now. Your breaths were fewer and fewer with each minute that passed. “Please, Y/N-” 

  “Never has there been another, Ser Jorah Mormont.’’ Tears trekked through the blood that stained your cheeks as he rested his forehead against your own. And for a moment, it was just the two of you, and no one else. There was no war against the Night King, no threat of Death looming overhead, no war of The Queens for the seat on the Iron Throne. It was just the two of you. Only you. “My heart has been yours, and it remains yours-” 

  “I swear it.” 

Daenerys was the one to pull him from his internal hysteria when she saw your eyes go blank and your chest stop moving. Her hand fell to your own that laid limp at your side, and the breath was knocked from her lungs as she recognized the shape of a wedding band even through the ash and blood that stained the metal. 

When Jorah took the ring into his hand and wiped the blood from the metal, he caught sight of the engraving you’d had done only days after the wedding had taken place. He’d never seen it before now, but the sight of it only wounded him more deeply as he cradled your head against his chest. 

I am his and he is mine 

  “From this day,” He held the ring to his lips and kissed it. “Until the end of my days.” 

[tenacityblitz]

all the numbers u haven't done

roleplaying habits questions.

1. what’s a grammar rule you find yourself breaking or ignoring a lot?

Offhand I can’t really think of anything?? English is my first language so I don’t knowingly break any grammar rules anyway. Unless possible excessive use of commas counts bc I use commas a lot.

2. are there any languages besides english in which you think you could comfortably roleplay?

Unless Gibberish counts bc I learned that stupid crack language back when I was a kid but good lord I would not have the patience to actually type out a reply like that. 

3. how often do you reach for a synonym dictionary when writing? how about mentally?

Sometimes but not too frequently. Depends on how flowery I’m trying to write something or if I’m thinking of a word but I don’t like the first descriptive word that came to mind for what I’m trying to express.

4. how often do you need to translate your own or the other’s writing with a dictionary or google when writing and reading replies?

Never tbh. Especially since I don’t RP in any other languages, all my RP partners have a good enough grasp on English that I can always tell what they were at least trying to say in their reply.

5. do you listen to music while your write?

I used to need music playing in the background to help me focus on doing drafts, but nowadays I need more silence than anything to help focus and produce what I think is a quality response to a longer thread. Short one or two liner things idc what’s in the background. 

6. do you have ideal writing circumstances when you can do a lot of drafts or tackle really long ones very easily?

I can fluctuate with when I best write. Typically I write better at night when the house is quiet and any noise happening in the house is a noise I make, but I’ve had writing inspiration hit me at any time of the day before.

7. are you a morning, day, evening, or night writer?

Bold of you to assume I’m awake during morning hours that don’t include 5 AM bc I’m still awake haha. When I’m not swamped with commissions to do I typically write better during the day or at night when I’m the only person awake in the house and I don’t have any outside distractions from a person IRL.

8. how does tiredness affect your writing?

Not overly so sometimes, I know there’ve been times in the past where I powered through replies even though I wanted to go to bed just because I was riding the motivation train and I didn’t want to lose it and not get to those last replies for who knows how long. But on Discord at least I often have reply to Discord threads be one of the last things I do before I go to sleep so I go to bed knowing I don’t owe anyone a reply on there.

9. have you ever written a serious reply intoxicated?

Not a serious reply anyway. I’ve been on the dashboard before while intoxicated (ColossalCon East was a prime example haha) but I’ve never really RP’d while that intoxicated

10. how much do you proof-read as you are writing vs. proof-read at the end?

I’ll proof read as I go but also give it one last read before I actually hit publish.

11. when you are writing a reply, how much ahead in the thread do you plan?

Entirely depends on the thread. I could write it on the fly or I could have days to think about it from external factors keeping me from getting to the reply as soon as it comes back to me.

12. is there ever been a time when you’ve had to drop a roleplaying partner because you’ve found their writing style exhausting?

Yes actually, gather round for RP horror storytime haha. Flash back to 2013 while I was still in the Black Butler fandom. I stupidly decided to give writing Sebastian a try at the request of a Ciel I’d made friends with (probably through my old Alois or Lizzie blog). She was a nice enough girl, close enough to my age so she seemed plenty mature, and had been what I thought was a good enough writer to warrant trying my hand at a muse I wouldn’t have otherwise thought to try. Legit within days of me making the Sebastian blog she was getting super clingy in her IC posts making Ciel a whiny baby missing Sebastian, would try and guilt me in IC posts to get on and write with her, and I dealt with it for about two weeks before I deleted Sebastian’s blog without warning and deleted the girl off Skype. To this day it’s the only blog I think I’ve ever consciously deleted.

13. does writing roleplay things in public spaces make you uncomfortable?

Not really? I wouldn’t be crazy about a stranger reading over my shoulder while I was writing bc that’s just weird, but I’ve gone to Starbucks or one of the local malls before on my off days (back when I was still at my last job) and I’d do RP stuff there just to get out of the house.

14. how often do you need to change the icon in your reply while or after writing the reply?

Typically I don’t put in icons until I’m done writing the reply unless I go into the reply knowing exactly which one I want to use, or think of a good one while I’m writing it out.

15. do you first get in the “zone” when writing, or do you start writing and “enter” it that way?

Nowadays I just start writing and then get into the zone after I get the first reply done. Discord replies I can chug out any time of day without difficulty, but for whatever reason Tumblr I have to be in the right mindset for. 

16. what is your biggest obstacle to writing every day, if time doesn’t count?

Back when I was at my last job, it would be getting a lot of writing muse while I was busy at work and unable to get on my own laptop or sneak onto Tumblr on an office computer and at least type out the bulk of a reply (yes I was employee of the month many times haha), and by the time I was able to get to my own computer or be safe enough to get on a work computer, that writing muse would be gone.

17. what’s your inbox count currently? what did you do to get it so high/low?

Right now I have 15 IC asks. I won’t lie, two of them are from last years Valentine’s Day bc I was away at Katsucon at the time of receiving them and by the time I got home I still just never got around to answering the asks, but I didn’t want to delete them either so I just kept them for posterity. Some are from this past Christmas that I was terrible and haven’t answered yet bc I’ve been so swamped with commissions, some are from other random meme’s I’ve reblogged and gotten an ask or two for and also just never got around to. I’m horrible at replying to asks most of the time and I know it but I always appreciate whenever people take the time to send me an IC one.

18. how many drafts is a paralysing amount?

I’d guess I’d say over 15 like para thread replies would make me be like -insert meme song- ‘how could this happen to meeeee’. I’m not quite at that point yet but I’ll get there eventually if I’m not careful lol.

19. if you are writing a wrong reply that’s not working out, do you save what you have to be continued at another date, or do you scrap it and rewrite?

Usually I would just draft what I have and go back to it. I can’t remember the last time I scrapepd an unfinished draft and completely rewrote it.

20. longest reply you’ve ever writen on mobile?

N/A because I don’t do replies on mobile. I’ll send asks on mobile but I never reply to actual IC things while on my phone unless it’s something stupid and cracky or one-liner-ish.

21. does the total amount of threads you have going on matter to you, or just how many you owe?

Doesn’t really matter. I can have one thread with one person, I could have five threads with one person. @shinvcho is an example of the latter lol

22. what’s your thought process when you format? any unspoken rules you follow?

I’ve kept to the same formatting for years and years tbh. I’m too lazy to do excessive formatting beyond italicizing and/or bolding specific words for emphasis and spacing out the start of a new paragraph. Anything more than that to me is just tedious and unnecessary; I don’t want to make it difficult for my partners to read.

23. how does your follower count affect your mood?

Anyone who says they don’t appreciate or enjoy even a small spike in followers is a liar, because we live in an age where validation is held in high regard and it feels good to get the validation of seeing more people enjoy what we do on our blogs enough to put us on their dashboards. But it also doesn’t really matter to me when I lose followers because I have a mutual checker so I can unfollow a mutual back if they did so first so I don’t feel uncomfy still following someone who no longer wanted me on their dash lol.

[awkward-and-fluffy]

Important little post for those who are still following me and wondering where I’ve gone...

I’ve obviously lost interest in Tumblr over these past couple of years. I’m not that active here anymore and a lot has been going on in my life anyhow.

If anyone wants to keep up with me on social media, I’m on Twitter the most! And I’ve actually gotten myself comfortable with doing Twitch streams as of May 2018. It feels like a great accomplishment for me to overcome most of my public speech fears through that!

Aside from getting into streaming, I managed to finish enough of my website for it to be hosted! I put a lot of money into that, but it’ll last about 2 years. :’D

Sooo...

My Twitter: https://twitter.com/WolfKat777

My Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/wolfkat7

My Website: https://wolfkatworks.com/

Sometime soon I’ll be able to complete the HTML/CSS tutorial pages for my website, but it wasn’t possible to get it launched ASAP when those pages take the longest to put together. I’m not sure when I can get them done yet, but I hope it’ll be before Tumblr completely crashes and burns... I need my old tutorials on this blog to reference back to for how I organized everything. There are lots of mistakes to fix and new screenshots to take for better lesson examples, etc.

But yeah, a lot’s been going on. I’ve been trying to search for a new job (with no luck yet), managed to reach Affiliate on Twitch by some miracle, various family issues took place, my dad had to get heart surgery, etc.

Before going to a read more, if you don’t quite want to read a big wall of text or are scared of reading any medical topics (I get that), I’ll provide my thanks and more right here.

It’s been awesome to meet all the people I have on here - mostly through Gravity Falls! Writing and replying to theories was such a freakin blast, no matter how ridiculous things would get at times. Granted, I don’t like Tumblr itself as a social media platform and community if I’m brutally honest... However, I still had a little good come from this regardless of my bitterness from my old account before this one.

To you old mutuals of mine, and some of you old pals, keep being awesome! I hope you’re doing well in life; and if not, I hope for things to improve. Fight a good fight, but be careful in picking those fights. Life’s worth living and all that cliche junk that may or may not have much affect on you as motivating advice. 

This all goes to my general base of followers too if any of them come across this post. Thank you guys for following this dumb blog and enjoying and sharing so many of my fun posts for Gravity Falls! The show is still super important to me, and my all time favorite cartoon to exist. Whether you sent asks, replied, reblogged, or simply liked, all of that was awesome in its own way. Having discussions on the series is one of the best memories I’ll have on this most often unbearable website! (I hope that doesn’t sound too insulting or generalizing about this site...)

And thank you for anyone who enjoyed the rest of my content here, and bearing with any personal ramblings I may have had on some bad days.

It’d be cool to come across anyone here again in the near future, but at some other online platform. I’ve provided my active links above, so feel free to find me elsewhere if you want.

Goodbye to you all, and have a great rest of 2019 and beyond!

This new year is also already off to a very... Surreal and terrifying start. In case you haven’t already checked my Twitter from the time of this post to see what I wrote there, I got a severe case of my rapid heartrate and ended up hospitalized rather than stuck in Urgent Care on its own. Just 3 weeks ago, I was in UC from a less severe but still terrifying rapid heart rate that woke me up at 5am and wouldn’t calm the heck down.

I know it seems weird to include this following story for my “farewell, Tumblr” post, but I think it’ll help give some interesting record of closure here. I’ve had personal posts and ramblings on this blog about my cardiac terrors and fears. I don’t recall exactly what I’ve written here, but maybe it’d be interesting for me to search for any of those posts again to kinda look back on those thoughts...

It’s been a few years since I’ve had a bad case of rapid heartrate... In fact, I remember writing about that experience back then here on my blog too. I was put on a heart monitor for only 3 days and yeah. Of course 3 days wasn’t enough to catch anything significant... So my heart issue was still freakin shrouded in mystery and only ever connected to my anxiety/panic disorder.

Welp, I was put on a heart monitor again just last week and I requested for it to last 30 days. Lo and behold, about 8 days later, my most severe case occurred and my monitor recorded a 250bpm max rate... This monitor is linked to cellular wifi thankfully, so the company got alerted of it and called my local UC to take me in and then called the house for my mom to answer and help drive me there. (Some moments before leaving home, my heartrate went back down to the 140′s or so, but still really bad and wouldn’t return to normal.)

In UC, I had to get X-Rays as well, but I have no idea what they found from ‘em? I wasn’t really told what they resulted with... I’ll have to ask sometime.

However, with everything going on and not even medication getting my heartrate back to normal, I was moved into a hospital shortly after my stay in UC. That was my first time ever being in an ambulance.

At the hospital, I got more blood tests done, more EKGs, all that stuff. There was also talk of me needing a uh... An ablation procedure. Then later that night, a cardiologist visited me and explained that I FINALLY got a confirmation on my issue. I’ve waited 10 years for answers on why my heart would be like this... Ugh. I’m relieved, but also frustrated it took that long to figure it out, y’know?

At this point, I didn’t have the name of the condition, but I was feeling more at peace when the cardiologist mentioned this condition isn’t life-threatening and doesn’t increase my risks of heart disease. The most common issue of it is how disruptive it is, and some other symptoms it can induce (dizziness,fatigue, etc.) Gosh, that cleared away so many worries and questions I had throughout these years.

But yeah, it’s something that people are just born with and it causes a faulty circuit or two in the heart giving it weird signals at times. Stuff like that. Those with the condition have a chance to never have symptoms of it, while others start showing symptoms between 11 - 50 years old. Mine started showing when I was 13, so that was... Great.

The only way to most likely treat it, is through an ablation... And that’s where things get really scary. I’ve always had nightmares about needing heart surgery, or my heart getting shot by bullets, etc. Like, that’s how bad I felt from never knowing what’s wrong with my vital organ.

My other option was medication, but it wouldn’t be guaranteed to help by itself. Afterall, I’ve had a few times in UC throughout my life where these meds didn’t help much if at all. They also figured it’d be good to get this procedure done the earlier the better, since it can be much more complicated if I were to have it done at an older age.

-big siiigh- After spending my first night there, yep, I’ve had that done. I don’t want to describe it ‘cause it was a terrifying experience, but I hope it helps in the end. I indeed had a faulty circuit they found, and they uh... Did what had to be done.

After I was sent back to my room, the cadiologist returned and gave me the name of my condition. Of ALL THINGS, it’s “Wolff-Parkinson-White Syndrome” or “WPW Syndrome” for short. Despite all the straight-up trauma I’ve had, I guess in a way I can kinda thank God for the bit of humor?? (For context, I developed an interest in wolves and werewolves during my teens and loving them about as much as cats...)

I was keeping my closest friends up to date on this through my phone during all this too. I kinda knew what I’d get myself into when revealing the name of my diagnosis to them... But the friendly teasing (such as “wow, so you DO have a wolf’s heart!”) cheered me up. I’m just really thankful for my friends for keeping me company even if only possible through online chat. And despite my conflicts with my mom, she stayed by me and helped me, spending nights in the hospital with me and all that stuff. I would’ve been so much more terrified and - errgh, for lack of better words - heart broken. Being all alone without someone I know being nearby during these types of things, regardless of how much I like being alone, is stressful. I would’ve otherwise only had doctors and nurses, but they’d come in and out and not always be in the room.

So, my heart needs to adjust to this, and the recovery is a little scary at times too. I’m pulling through the best I can, using guidance from my doctors. They had me stay one more night, and as of yesterday, I’ve been able to return home. Gotta spend a week relaxing and healing up, keeping up with certain medications to help, and so on.

With all that said, and for those who read this entire mess of a thing, see you all elsewhere!

[missmyloko]

Answering Your Umechie Questions

I’ve been getting so many questions about Umechie lately that if I were to answer them all, the majority would just be “please refer to the identical question that I just answered here” because they’re all so similar. So, let’s actually look at all of them and go over what we know!

Anonymous Asked:

“Umechie untying and tying is kind of signaling that she's not going to continue her contract or have her erikae, right? I thought that maiko had to the their obiage for a certain period of time before their erikae, or does it count from the first day that it is tied regardless of consistency? I'm wondering this because she is nearing age 22. Also, do you know of any other instances where maiko have tied their obiage inconsistently and went on to have an erikae?”

Anonymous Asked:

“I feel so, so bad for Umechie. I've been following her career for quite a while now and I really wished she could become a geiko. I think she really deserves it, she seems so dedicated to her work. Especially if we take into account all those ridiculous things that Yuko does. I have no clue why all that is actually happening. I don't think that Umeno is not wealthy enough to afford an erikae for Umechie, to me they are doing pretty well financially now. Problem must be hidden somewhere else :(”

Anonymous Asked:

“I was wondering, how common is the situation happening with Umechie-san? Obviously it doesn't happen a lot but in your expansive memory, has anything like this happened before? Having her ranking constantly put up then back down again, it has to make her feel so unsteady, she's been through so much, even almost completely supporting her okiya on her own. She's earned an erikae several times over and the way she's being treated is so disappointing. Won't this reflect badly on Umeno okiya?”

Anonymous Asked:

“Why on Earth is Umeno being so cruel? Surely this can't be a publicity stunt. I hope Umechie can do what Kanowaka did and debut under another okiya - clearly Umeno isn't doing her any favours.. “

Anonymous Asked:

“Is Umeno maybe pushing Umechie in such an ugly way to leave of her own volition? E.g. if they formally refuse her, it would look bad for them (not that it doesn't already) but if she leaves first they can wash their hands clean? Do you by any chance know what the community thinks of what is going on?”

Anonymous Asked:

“Hello! I love this blog and have learnt so much from it! As I'm still rather new to world of maiko and geisha, I don't understand what the significance is that Umechie is no longer tying her obiage.”

Anonymous Asked:

“I'm so confused about Umechie. Do you know about the rules of tying obiage? What does it mean when she ties and unties it? Does this mean she has to start her counter over when she does tie it again?”

First, let’s go over what we do know:

1) Umechie is currently the most senior maiko in all of Kyoto. She debuted on October 2nd, 2012, making her active for 67 months (5 years and 7 months).

2) Her birthday is in August, and she is currently 21 years old, the oldest age a maiko is allowed to be active. As of right now, she is 3 months away from her 22nd birthday. 

3) In Kamishichiken, maiko will usually tie their obiage 6-12 months before their erikae or before they quit. Umechie began tying hers at the end of February, yet stopped at the beginning of April.

There are no records of any other maiko tying and then suddenly untying their obiage

(Side note: Yes, most maiko will untie their obiage while on stage, but that’s so that all of the maiko will look uniform. They will then tie it again at night when entertaining at ozashiki. Also, yes, that above statement needed to be headlined.).

So, what can happen next?

1) She could have her erikae and become a geiko. You’d figure that with her popularity and experience she’d be welcomed as a geiko! However, there’s the problem with Umeno, which I’ll address in the next part.

2) She could leave at the end of her service, knowing that she completed a full apprenticeship as a Kyoto maiko. She could then either:

a) Choose a new career

or

b) Become a geisha in another city.

But, I need to address something mentioned above first:

“I hope Umechie can do what Kanowaka did and debut under another okiya.”

No, she can’t. Kamishichiken is far too traditional and of a higher standing to have one of their girls swap okiya or even districts. Fukuharu/Kanowaka’s case could have only happened if she was in Miyagawa Cho or Gion Higashi, which she happened to be part of the latter, as their rules on these issues are far more relaxed and accepting. Her only choice would be to become a geisha in another city.

Obviously there’s nothing stopping her from leaving, but her persistence in staying a maiko means that she wants to stay in the karyukai as long as possible. However, as noted above, there’s really two main reasons why she isn’t a geiko yet:

1) She doesn’t have the necessary skill to become a geiko and is not progressing far enough in her studies to be able to attain that rank. It’s incredibly rare for a woman who’s spent so much time as a maiko to not have the required skills to become a geiko, but it is a remote possibility that can’t be ignored.

2) Her okiya is holding her back.

To understand the second one better, we must take a more in-depth look at her okiya, which does seem to be the overwhelming factor in all of this. I don’t want to go into speculation, so instead I’ll list off some of the history that her okiya has had, with statistics :

-Their last maiko to have an erikae was Umechika (梅智賀) in 2005. This was 13 years ago and remains the longest time of any of the active okiya in Kamishichiken.

-The majority of their maiko over the past 16 years stay less than two years (Umefuku, Umechizu, Umeyū, Umechiyo, Umeraku, Umesaya, Umechiho, Umechō, Umesaku, Umekana). That’s 10/15, or 66.6%. Umehina and/or Umetae may eventually become part of that statistic as both are still under the two year mark. In comparison over the same amount of time, Nakasato’s rate is 2/10 (Naochiyo and Satohina, 20%), Ichi’s is 1/10 (Ichifumi, 10%), and Daimonji’s is 1/7 (Katsuho, 14.3%).

-Since Umechika, only 3 other maiko have stayed long enough to complete an apprenticeship (Umehisa, Umeyae, and Umechie). That’s 3/15, or 20%. Again, in comparison, Nakasato’s is 4/10 (Naosome, Naokazu, Naosono, Satohana, 40%), with 2 maiko currently seniors who could easily go on to finish their apprenticeships, Ichi’s is 7/10 (Umeshizu, Ichimame, Ichiteru, Ichimomo, Ichimari, Ichitomo, Ichitaka, 70%) with 1 maiko currently senior, and Daimonji’s is 5/7 (Katsuya, Katsue, Katsuru, Katsune, Katsuna, 71.4%).

So, looking purely at numbers, Umeno does not seem as though they’re focused on their girls becoming geiko, but rather keeping them as maiko for the income. Looking deeper, that rate of leaving after two years or less is absolutely massive compared to the others. Yes, the other okiya have not had as many girls, but maybe that’s an issue with Umeno’s ownership as they’re letting in unqualified girls to become maiko who then leave after such a short time because they were not prepared. There have also been rumors that the new okamisan, Yuko, has been hard to deal with. She’s been groomed to become the atotori by her mother since 2002 and she has been making the vast majority of decisions since 2009. Yes, her partnership with Toyota has been helpful in bringing in income and exposure to the okiya, but at what cost? That remains to be seen, but it has definitely brought about new obi with Yuko’s slightly deviated kamon (the bent leaf paulownia compared to her mother’s three leaf “regular” paulownia). 

So, make of this what you will, but the only thing we can do is wait and see what will happen to Umechie.

[acidwaste]

hey so it seems i’ve forgot to do a l o t of tag memes, and i’m lucky i drafted a big bunch of them! lots of questions overlapped so i did my best to answer in different ways, sorry for the lateness! also @ the people that tagged me here, i wouldn't hesitate to kill for you

@natcaptor / @gayspaced

name: leon or lionel!

nicknames: literally the only nickname I’ve been referred to is “big gay” and like. word!

gender: im pretty sure im a guy, i have been kinda 🤔🤔🤔 abt my gender identity since around november-ish though

star sign: sagittarius!

height: 6’1! i’m told that I’m tall but my uncle is 6’7 so...

time: 3:36pm rn! ive been watching video essays and binging music all afternoon

birthday: december 9th!

favourite bands: animal collective, beach house, camp cope, car seat headrest, death grips, fleet foxes, florence + the machine, gang of youths, glass animals, gorillaz, hop along, iceage, idles, kero kero bonito, mgmt, miike snow, modest mouse, run the jewels, superorganism, the avalanches, the cat empire, the go! team, the mountain goats, the wombats, xiu xiu

favourite solo artists: alex lahey, anderson .paak, ariana grande, billie eilish, bjork, cashmere cat, charli xcx, courtney barnett, cupcakke, d.r.a.m, eric taxxon, frank ocean, gfoty, hatchie, janelle monae, jeff rosenstock, joanna newsom, jorja smith, jpegmafia, kacey musgraves, kali uchis, kendrick lamar, khalid, kimbra, lorde, mac demarco, madeon, mick jenkins, mitski, oneohtrix point never, perfume genius, ravyn lenae, rina sawayama, serpentwithfeet, sophie, st. vincent, sza, vince staples

song stuck in my head: caramelo duro | miguel // kali uchis! its a bop, miguel is one of the few singers that can convincingly make sex jams

last movie i watched: deadpool 2! it was even better than the first, which is a feat in itself ngl

when did i create my blog: december 2016??? i only started using it properly in february last year tho

last thing i googled: “im in my mums car broom broom.” dont @ me

do i have any other blogs: yeah, plenty actually!! i have blogs for aesthetic (@moltenstar), general inspo (@wverns), flight rising (@szarising, kinda inactive?), and overwatch (@blackhardts) tbh the vast majority of my ‘sideblogs’ are just saved urls H

do i get asks: when i say stupid shit like “rung has the ass of a dilf but the dick of a cockroach”

why i chose my url: that one panel where kobd have a vacation at the acid wastes because fuck its finally canon babey!

following: 1,767, which is kinda horrifying!!

followers: 890?? somehow??? thats almost One Whole Thousand and i don't even make content

average hours of sleep: around 6 or 7!! n e v e r more though

lucky number: 43 and 64!!

instruments: i'm too poor to afford music lessons or instruments jsbddsjknfs

what am i wearing: a grey shirt and nothing on my bottom half so my [redacted] is hanging tf out, i should put on some damn clothes

dream job:  oooo uhhh, i’m studying to get an education degree rn because i’d love to teach children (around grade 3-4s preferably because i'm too jittery to handle anyone younger and older kids probs won't listen to me as much as i lack plenty of assertiveness), but!! i’d honestly love to be a musician, one of those underground ones that get lots of critical acclaim

dream trip: one day i wanna gather up some friends and just go on a road trip! idm where we go to, as long as we just have fun and just! adventure!

favourite foods: rare steak, mashed potatoes, eggs, and energy shakes made with like. fruit / cheese / yoghurt / oats / chia seeds ! protein is a large part of my diet

nationality: new zealand, but living in australia

favourite song right now: best part | daniel caesar // h.e.r - gosh i need to re-listen to daniel’s album again, i don’t remember this beautiful song being there and that’s a crime

@damndesi / @novarebel / @luciform-philogynist

APPEARANCE - I am 5'7 or taller - I wear glasses - I have at least one tattoo (but I am getting a tā moko in December, I believe) - I have at least one piercing (planning to get a nose ring, like a bull!) - I have blonde hair - I have brown eyes - I have short hair - My abs are at least somewhat defined (b a r e l y) - I have or had braces

PERSONALITY - I love meeting new people - People tell me I am funny - Helping others with their problems is a big priority of mine - I enjoy physical challenges - I enjoy mental challenges - I am playfully rude to people I know - I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it - There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY - I can sing well - I can play an instrument - I can do over 30 pushups without stopping (barely) - I am a fast runner - I can draw well - I have a good memory - I am good at doing math in my head - I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute - I have beaten at least 2 people arm wrestling - I can make at least 3 recipes from scratch - I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES - I enjoy sports - I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else - I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else - I have learned a new song in the past week - I exercise at least once a week - I have gone for runs at least once a week in warmer months - I have drawn something in the past month - I enjoy writing - Fandoms are my #1 priority - I do some form of Martial arts

EXPERIENCES - I have had my first kiss - I have had alcohol (tastes like shit) - I have scored a winning point in a sport - I have watched an entire TV series in one sitting - I have been at an overnight event - I have been in a taxi - I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year - I have beaten a video game in one day - I have visited another country - I have been to one of my favorite bands concerts

MY LIFE - I have one person that I consider to be my Best Friend - I live relatively close to my school/work - My parents are still together - I have at least one sibling - I live in the United States - There is snow where I live right now - I have hung out with a friend in the past month - I have a smart phone - I own at least 15 CDs - I share my room with someone

RELATIONSHIPS - I am in a Relationship - I have a crush on a celebrity - I have a crush on someone I know - I’ve been in at least 3 relationships - I have never been in a Relationship - I have admitted my feelings to a crush - I get crushes easily - I have had a crush for over a year - I have been in a relationship for over a year - I have had feelings for a friend

RANDOM - I have break-danced - I know a person named Jamie - I have had a teacher that has a name that is hard to pronounce - I have dyed my hair - I’m listening to a song on repeat right now - I have punched someone in the past week - I know someone who has gone to jail - I have broken a bone (do fractures count?) - I have eaten a waffle today - I know what I want to do in life - I speak at least two languages (not fluently) - I have made a new friend in the past year

@smstransformers

age: 16

birthplace: auckland, nz

current time: 4:19 pm rn!!!

drink you last had: i just skulled half a liter of water whoops

favourite song: jesus etc. | wilco if we're talking abt an all-time favourite

grossest memory: accidentally swallowing a bee when i was seven years old (somehow nothing bad happened?)

horror, yes or no: not unless it’s an incredibly tame horror t b h, my threshold for scariness is very low

in love: i believe so!

jealous of people: lots of times, over really dumb things

love by first sight or should I walk by again: i believe that infatuation can exist at first sight but true love not so much. wish that could happen tho :C

middle name: shane!

siblings: my sister is eight years old, and my brother is seven!

one wish: EZ, make my anxiety disappear, i’d have a much more productive life

song i last sang: jupiter | haiku hands

time i woke up: 7:13, woke up immediately because i usually like to wake at 6:30

underwear colour: blue + purble

vacation destination: auckland / kingston / sydney!

worst habit: not remembering to make my goddamn bed, it looks like garbage

favourite food: mashed potatoes….

zodiac sign: sagittarius !!!

@alyonian

relationship status:

at the moment i’m single! and while being in a relationship sounds brilliant, the last two relationships i was involved in? didn’t work out to say the least, lucky i’m still young

favourite colour:

it’s been emerald green for the longest time but orange seems to be dethroning it at a steady pace

lipstick or chapstick:

i haven’t used chapstick since i was six but i probably should use it again, water is my substitute rn fdghdgh - and i haven’t ever used lipstick in any capacity? so i’d have to go with the former

last song i listened to:

the space traveller’s lullaby | kamasi washington - i’m trying to get through his second album rn (i left off on the second disk yesterday) and while everything he makes is undeniably amazing, it’s? a three hour album? i don’t have the attention span for his spiritual jazz, as great as it is

last movie:

monsters inc is playing on the television right now, i’ll go with that! the animation aged kinda badly but it’s still such a fun movie! sidenote: james p. sullivan? a childhood crush, so this gives me memories

top 3 tv shows/podcasts/comics:

i rarely, if ever, venture into these forms of media but! if i had to answer, i’d say;

unbreakable kimmy schmidt / parks & recreation / luke cage

taz / mbmbam (i havent like. watched a full episode of either but they seem cool,)

tf idw / …………. yeah that’s it, i’ve never read anything else. probably should!

additional favs:

my friends, writing (in theory), listening to video essays, learning music theory + instruments and understanding audio production software

top 3 bands / artists:

HHH okay if i had to limit my choices to just three artists, uh. lorde, the mountain goats, and sophie. i couldnt even fit janelle in i hate th is

----------------------------------

@alyonian

color(s): light colors are always nice and pleasant, though anything peachy and sandy are the best! orange (specially pastel orange) is like. the best thing

last band t-shirt i bought: usually merchandising is very expensive and i dont have the money to accommodate that, but like. i do recall having a wiggles shirt when i was five. i wore it all the time, shjdjgsksd im sure that counts

last band i saw live: i almost went to splendor in the grass last year with family, which wasn't only cool since i’ve never been out of the state since i immigrated - the festival was in queensland, which is around a two hour flight from victoria - but the lineup was pretty fuckin lit too! the xx, haim, peking duk, tash sultana, future islands, vallis alps, a.b original,, i was p excited! unfortunately my uncle fell ill and so they had to give the tickets to extended family :( otherwise, i haven't been to a single concert in my life

last song i listened to: street fighter mas | kamasi washington - up to this song on the album and i really fuckin dig this! also the video is hypnotizing

last movie i watched: monsters inc is about to finish and up next is monsters university! which like…. honestly, this is an extremely unpopular opinion but, i like it just as much as the original? my opinion might be skewed because i’m a monster [hugger], but i like everything abt the movie! except for the finale of the scare games and the last five minutes of the movie, both were just. dreadful.

last three tv shows i watched: if aggretsuko counts that’s the last series i watched of my own volition, which is a miracle in itself considering that’s legit only the second anime i’ve watched to completion (the first being shirokuma cafe, which i probably need to re-watch). otherwise, the last two shows i had beared witness to were thirteen reasons why and queer eye bc my cousin put them on! that first show i could completely do without but queer eye is iconique

last 3 characters i identified with: grimlock (legit. all of them), urdnot grunt (mass effect) and vector the crocodile (sth), i’m not sure what this says about me other than Big

book(s) i’m currently reading: i’m reading ‘maus’ by art spiegelman at the moment, for the third time i believe? i believe my classmates are supposed to be writing an essay on this next term and shit, this novel is heartbreaking, i haven't been this emotional when reading a book than… ever, really. it’s a recommendation of the highest caliber

@victorion

name: leon / lionel, i picked up the second name because i was in a server with an admin that was also a Leon™

nickname: besides ‘Big Gay’ i also have the nickname ‘lemon lion’ which is! nice!!

zodiac sign: archer man

height: Tall™

language(s) spoken: english / some maori + italian

fav fruit: watermelons (only when in season)

fav scent: the smell of a freezer tbh? it just smells Nice i don’t know how to properly explain it

fav season: spring! the breezes are welcoming without being overbearingly freezing

fav color: ornge,,,,

fav animal: SHARKS + CROCS + FERRETS

coffee, tea or hot chocolate: tea! with some milk tho

average hrs of sleep: too little

fav fictional character: One character?????? uhhhhhhh……. like. biggest cc right now is either idw skids or oz from monster prom

no. of blankets you sleep with: depending on my mood but i’d say the average is like, 3??

fav songs: i quickly whipped up some songs i listen to

fav artists: i came to the realization that i like acts that are considered ‘bad’ like maroon 5/drake/lil yachty etc in specific doses… i wouldn't call them good yet, but! i have no beef and thats good

fav books: remember ‘where the wild things are’??? that shit was like. literal childhood, man.. :happytears: i really need to look for a copy again

@thonany-klieme

name: leon / lionel, interchangeable really

gender: male, im probs an nb guy

star sign: sagittarius!

height: 6’1

sexuality: gay??? im not sure, im mostly attracted to other guys but i have had very brief crushes on girls + nb people? sexuality’s confusing so im gonna just latch to the gaybel (gay label) for now

lock screen image: its the album cover of 1992 deluxe by princess nokia, tho it was “T Hanos” a few days ago since i change it often - my home screen is venom but his torso says ‘fuck machine’

ever had a crush on a teacher: no??

where do you see yourself in ten years: ideally i’m teaching kids math n english, realistically i’m probably going down with the political climate

if you could go anywhere, where would you go: new zealand!! or the netherlands

what was your favorite halloween costume: halloween is not big at all where i live, the only time i tried trick or treating was when i was like 7?? i threw a bedsheet on myself and pretended to be a ghost, though since there were no eyeholes + the sheet was blue, it looked more like i was just a moving lump

last kiss: never had one

have you ever been to las vegas: nah and i dont plan to?? how do you handle regular days of 40C wtf

favorite pair of shoes: i have this pair of jandals that ive worn for a fair bit longer than my other pair of shoes, tho i only wear them in summer + very warm nights

favorite book: ngl its. ‘the very hungry caterpillar’ by eric carle. i just, love it alot and i cant explain w h y

[nept00n]

Get to know each other tag!

Rules: Answer these questions and tag 20 blogs you’d like to know better.

I was tagged by @thedeeplyaffected, thanks!

1. Nickname: Well I’m Natalia so people sometimes shorten it to Talia or Tali or Tal, I don’t mind any of those. I used to have some friends who called me turtle, and then my mom calls me all sorts of things (e.g. peanut, biscuit, pumpkin... all the ones that come to mind are food related I guess lmao)

2. Zodiac: Virgo hah

3. Height: somewhere between 5′7″ and 5′8″

4. Age: 20 (birthday is three months from yesterday though wooo)

5. Time: 10:43

6. Fav bands/artists: Idk this is hard, I go on a song by song basis more often than thinking about the particular artist so there’s a lot of songs I love that I only have one song by the artist. Some I like though would be Imagine Dragons, Panic! at the Disco, Fall Out Boy, Kishi Bashi, BTS, The Rose ( I really like some other kpop ones too but I don’t know them well enough to decide my favorites yet), uhhhh Earth, Wind and Fire is pretty cool (we payed a show of their music in my marching band it was so fun), I feel like I’m not properly representing my music taste here and missing important people but idk who to say

7. Song stuck in my head: Daydream from J-Hope’s mixtape

8. Last movie I saw: I haven’t watched a movie in a while hmm.... It might have been the Greatest Showman when I went to see it in the theater for my friend’s birthday but that was back in February and I feel like I must have watched another movie since then??

9. Last thing I googled: according to google the last thing I searched was “color editor” (It was for that thing I made yesterday but I didn’t even end up using one I used something I already had)

10. Other blogs: Not counting the ones I’ve never posted on I have an old blog I used to post fics on, and @haikcuute is where the anime etc. goes lmao (also some stuff I drew)

11. Do I get asks: very rarely but I do enjoy them when I do

12. Why I chose my username: Oh jeez it was old back when I didn’t really know what a good username sounded like and I was like “Uhhhhhh what are things I like? I like band that’s cool. And I just got back from space camp where my team’s thing they yelled sometimes was ‘hoorah’ so I guess I’ll tack that on the end” and bandhoorah was born. At least it wasn’t a mile long like my first Ao3 name but if I can think of a name I like better I’ll probably end up finally changing this one.

13. Following: 155

14. Avg amount of sleep: Usually not much more than 7, I can get through the day as long as i get like, 4 or so. I think the longest I slept was about 12 hours and the first time it happened it was so unusual I scared my friend

15. Lucky number: I don’t think I have one really but I like 3, 12, and 27

16. What am I wearing: School track suit pants that I got for free from marching band last season, and a black t-shirt that says “2012 DANCE NATIONALS” In big colorful letters from the time we went to Vegas for a dance competition

17. Dream job: Not a specific job, something I enjoy and am comfortable doing

18. Dream trip: Not the biggest fan of travel but maybe going to France again would be cool? Or to see my friends on the other side of the country

19. Favorite food: I don’t have an absolute favorite but I always just say pasta for this question lmao

20. Play any instruments: I’ve played flute for over 11 years now, so i can also play piccolo. I’m not good enough to read sheet music for saxophone or clarinet but I know most of the fingerings and can get a decent sound out. (Slightly off track for the question but I really want to play some of the larger flutes some day, like if I got to play an alto or bass flute I might melt on the spot)

21. Favorite song: Again I’m bad at picking favorites, I love too many for various different reasons, so I’ll just say one that recently made it on my list of favorites which would be “Tomorrow” by BTS because yeah

22. Play(ed) any sports: I used to play soccer forever ago but I never really got the hang of it. (if your definition of sports is pretty loose I also used to do karate, I did competitive dance, and next year is probably my last year of marching band)

23. Hair color: Kind of a standard medium light brown. I’ve never dyed it but the idea has appealed to me occasionally.

24. Eye color: Brown (root beer colored, my mom says)

25. Most iconic song: Ahhhhh Idk what to answer this

26. Languages you speak/learning: I took 3 years of french in high school and I’ve retained a lot of words but I can’t really form sentences well anymore.

27. Random fact: I’m currently a double major in physics and chemistry and have 4.0 GPA yeet I graduate in a year barring disaster

28. Describe yourself as aesthetics/things: I don’t know if this is really me but more things/aesthetics I like... my flute, books (used and brand new, the whole range), a really warm and soft blanket, you know the park in the afternoon but when nobody else is there? , that feeling when you’re listening to music and you can physically feel it in your chest (either cause of the vibrations or emotions both are good) (These are probably too specific but oh well)

This is only 5 but I feel bad tagging no one so I’ll tag @crackandcanonships @soft-cheek @so-ver-saucy @readers-and-other-creatures @cute-spaceboy since you’re the people in my notifications no pressure though

[orangedodge]

Instead of flooding my blog with a deluge KH posts, I figured I'd do just one in-depth one about the end reveal.  

At least until the next trailer comes out, and my inner nine year old breaks out once again.

So despite Nomura's limitations as a writer, and his occasional technical naivete, I've always been a bit surprised that he's never really given his due as a director. He has good storytelling instincts, and can be skilled at framing information on screen to highlight what he wants, while making his audience ignore what he doesn't want them to pay attention to. His team can also cut a trailer very well. The 2.8 trailers were masterful at presenting actual spoilers, but framed within an artificial context that hid their meaning, and led to the audience anticipating story beats that did not actually exist. The respective natures of Aced and Gula as people, in particular, was something he was highly successful at concealing.

E3 trailer spoilers below the cut

The first E3 trailer drop, which I think we're calling the "Frozen" trailer, reminds me a lot of what he did last time, with those 2.8 trailers. The reveal at the end, and it's implication that Aqua is now evil, is driven by two lines,

SORA - "I wont let her fall to darkness"

and

AQUA - "You're too late"

The combination is framed to suggest that it's specifically too late for Aqua, but as these lines occur in two entirely different scenes, and this structure is unlikely to be preserved in the actual game, the thematic bridge they create is an artificial one. It's unknown what the full context of each scene actually is, particularly the latter scene with Mickey, Aqua, and Riku. Instead, Aqua's lines are being set up with by potentially false context by Sora.

What actually happens in that scene? I think the position of landmarks, and the continuity in way the scene is lit, is sufficient to establish that it most likely takes place within the same span of time as the previous trailer's Riku and Mickey scene, in which Riku's Way to Dawn Keyblade was broken.

By combining the two Riku scenes, I would posit that the chain of events is as follows: Riku and Mickey arrive at the Dark Margin > Aqua attacks them in her new shadow form > Mickey is disarmed, and Riku's Keyblade broken > Aqua stops fighting and reveals herself > Aqua picks up Mickey's Keyblade.

If the line "This Keyblade..." is native to that scene, and not something that was simply placed out of context in the trailer to create false context (a trick Nomura used with Phantom Aqua's dialogue in the 2.8 trailers), then it could be possible that she didn't recognize her opponents until she saw that Keyblade. Either way, I believe it's likely that she fought them until they were both disarmed, whereupon she stopped, and revealed herself to them.

Two things grabbed my attention,

Is breaking Way to Dawn, the Keyblade with one of Xehanort's creepy time-travel spy eyes (that we've been warned about), actually an inherently aggressive act? She appears to have been completely shrouded/cloaked in darkness, if not actually invisible (if that was a Red Eyes effect Mickey was under), when she arrived. Assuming that the two Riku clips are in fact one continuous scene, than it seems as though she didn't let them see her until that Keyblade was out of the way.

Why pick up Mickey's Keyblade? It was established ages ago that a Keyblade can't be stolen from its wielder, so unless that's being retconned, I don't see why she'd benefit from picking it up unless to demonstrate to them that she's still capable of doing so. And that's being done in a state where she's not just possessed by darkness, but seems to have been totally transformed into it. The only precedents I can think of for that are Anti-Sora and Ansem. Anti-Sora didn't have access to Keyblades, and Ansem could only wield one through Riku's body (and presumably Riku’s heart, since he lost his access to the Keyblade once he cast that away).

So is Aqua currently fallen to darkness? Almost definitely, unless this is just Phantom Aqua messing with Mickey, or a physical manifestation of an impression she left behind when she lived there, or the result of some unique circumstance like Aqua-removed-her-Heart-from-her-body or Aqua's-looking-for-Ven-in-the-realm-of-sleep that that would render her condition a temporary side effect.

Is she 'norted? It seems probable, but I'm not one-hundred per cent sure that it actually follows from what's been shown. Xehanort's never shown the ability to discorporate into dark fog or become invisible, I mean, and it seems like that would be a fairly useful ability to make use of if he had it. It seems not unreasonable to assume that it's therefore an ability newly unique to Aqua, and not something connected to a 'norting. I'm going to leave the changers to her hair aside because it's appeared that shade before (for example, in the daylight Wayfinder sequence at the start of the 0.2 trailer), and I'm not sure how much of the color change is being influenced by the lighting conditions, or even if the lighting is finished. The eyes seem like a big give away that she's 13th 'nort, as we've only ever seen glowing amber eyes in humans with Xehanort's vessels... but we don't actually know why he has those traits in the first place.

It could be nothing of consequence, just a unique aspect of his character design that made an easy shorthand for showing who he was possessing. Or it could be that amber eyes are actually meant to represent something in this setting (connection to Heartless?), and what specifically that is just hasn't come up yet, except as through the brothers and sisters 'nort. So it's possible that her eyes don't really mean what we assume they do, and it's just a fun way to use the trailer to mess with us.

(And because this series is so weird, it may also be worth remembering that incomplete beings have been shown to take physical forms influenced by the expectations of the people viewing them. Think Xion's magic flippy-floppy hood, or Aqua perceiving Ansem as Terra. So depending on what the meaning of Aqua's shadow form actually is, the way she appears to Mickey might not be what she actually looks like, as opposed to just the material consequence of how he expects her to look, reflected back upon his own reality. I... ugh. This series is something else.)

(There's also a possible exception to the only-'norts-have-glowing-eyes rule with Terra, who did have glowing amber eyes before he was 'norted, but portions of those cut scenes may now be apocryphal)

But even if Aqua is 'norted, does it automatically follow that she's now an evil puppet of the arch villain’s? I'm going to just throw this out there, and give a hard no. Could be! She could be evil now, she could even be a boss fight and a resulting fetch quest to fix her Wayfinder to bring her back to normal, or be a recurring super boss introduced to give the heroes someone more threatening to fight than Vexen and Marluxia, or anything else. But it's not absolutely necessary and it's a truly strange assumption to make, given past experiences with 'norts and people consumed by darkness.

Riku was 'norted for... really the entirety of the first three games in one way or another, and after a few initial close calls, he got his second wind, and was fine. Vanitas and Braig both seem to do whatever they want; it just so happens that they want to be evil, but I don't think Xehanort has ever shown any supernatural capacity—resorting instead to threats and possible torture—to modify their behavior if they wander off to undermine him. Terra is... well his body has been possessed for decades now, but also obviously is not being controlled in any meaningful way, unless Xehanort actually planned to choke himself and get whipped in the face by chains. Axel also didn't seem to have any problems with just throwing Xehanort out, when he was a heartless shell that theoretically had compromised means of resisting a takeover.  

So Xehanort is clearly not always in complete control of his vessels, other than Young Xeno (himself), Ansem (his own literal heart), and maybe Xemnas (some proportion of his own heart in Terra’s empty body), who could all be unique exceptions. And even the vessels that have been with him the longest have habit of doing as they please. I should find it strange should Aqua be the absolute only exception in the series. And thinking on it, all that's really said of the final confrontation is that you have 13 seekers and 7 guardians... but there's not really a rule that they have to form two opposed teams and stick to them no matter what.

To just fly off into blind speculation though, what I'm personally leaning towards is the possibility that Aqua has just become a part of the realm of darkness. That Mickey is “too late” to reach her before a point of no return, and now she just cannot leave. She doesn't sound particularly angry, or upset to see him. It sounds like she's just stating a fact, or just speaking with resignation. Mickey and Riku, in the clip where Way to Dawn is shown broken, also do not seem as defeated as one might expect them to if they had experienced complete and total failure. They seem pretty sure of themselves, whatever has happened.

I'm hesitant to add this in, given my own bias, but it actually seems not unlike they're saying goodbye. Perhaps just letting go of something, if they've failed and are moving on, or if Riku is just saying goodbye to the chapter of his life represented within Way to Dawn. Or they could be getting ready to split up.  

I've seen a lot of speculation, that I think rings true, that Disney would prefer for Mickey to not be involved in the final fight, whacking recognizable humans in the face with a sword-like weapon. The rumor's line of reasoning follows that he needs to be swapped out for someone else, and Aqua seems like the most fitting possibility. Maybe literally? One stays, so another can go? Thematically, she took on Terra's punishment for him, trapping her there in the first place. Mickey taking it on for her, so she can leave, would be a fitting continuation. And it seems to be what he wants. Edgy, traumatized, Mickey Mouse is a weird concept to introduce to a story, but it almost pulls it off where his trauma re: Aqua is concerned. This is clearly meant to be the great unhealed wound in his life, and to not just free his friend, but take her place in the underworld for a while is one way to help him patch it.

[army-author]

➵ 17 things I did in 2017

I was tagged by the wonderful @inktae, thank you for tagging me! 💖

This is extremely late, but I wanted to do it... so here we are...

It was actually really helpful for me to do! When 2018 arrived, I felt as if I had accomplished nothing in the past year, but looking back, I can see I’ve come quite far over the past year! Here’s to more to come this year!

1. I made a lot of new friends, both here on tumblr and offline as well! They’re all really precious to me, and my life would be a lot duller without them, so I’m very thankful!

2. I started helping out at an international cafe at my university! It’s been a great opportunity to meet people from new cultures, and learn about different parts of the world. And I made lots of amazing friends through it!

3. I started taking ballet classes again. I dropped ballet when I was 11, but saw that my uni was offering classes and started up again! It’s a lot more difficult than I remember... maybe I just lost all the flexibility I had as a child, but it’s super fun!

4. I finally cut meat out of my diet! I’ve been meaning to go vegetarian for a while, but I always kept putting it off. Now... I finally did it! And it’s actually not as difficult as I thought it would be :’)

5. I wrote my longest fic, and also the fic I’m most proud of (I’m talking about ‘witten on our veins’ by the way)

6. I figured out a lot about myself mentally, and overcame a lot of personal problems. I finally gathered the courage to ask for help, and went to therapy, and am just more aware of myself now? I don’t know how to explain it very well... but it’s been good for me!

7. I helped out at a camp over summer, which was a great experience... even if it consisted of cleaning a lot of toilets and showers haha! But I think my work ethic improved as a result, and I met a lot of really amazing people through it!

8. I stayed in north Wales over the summer. Even though it’s not the most exciting trip, since it’s so close to home, it was one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever visited, wow!

9. Let go of some friendships that weren’t healthy for me, and realised that it’s okay if I don’t get on with everybody and if not everybody likes me.

10. I wrote more than I thought was possible if you’d asked me to do it at the start of 2017. I learnt a lot about my writing process as a result, and I feel that my skills have improved a lot.

11. I went to some masterclasses on writing, which all helped me a lot, and also made me realise that all of the writers I used to look up to now used to be just like me - someone with only their unpublished writing, and a wish to improve. I’ll keep working towards my dreams in 2018!

12. I learnt what it means to love myself (I’m still learning to be honest). BTS’s ‘love yourself’ album came out at just the right time for me :’)

13. I read. I read so much. Mostly for my lit course. But I also read some stuff just because I wanted to, and discovered some new favourite books (’never let me go’, ‘the nakano thrift shop’, and ‘norwegian wood’ just to name a few...)

14. I finally got around to watching some of films I’d been meaning to watch for ages, like ‘breakfast at tiffanies’, ‘kimi no n wa’, ‘dead poets society’ and a lot more! (although those three were my favourites!)

15. I managed to keep in contact with old friends from high school, although I was worried we’d forget each other when we left for uni!

16. I actually did okay in my mock exams....? I don’t know how that happened, but I’m glad it did. Now I just have to pass the actual exams this summer!

17. And finally... I bypassed a follower milestone on this blog that I would have thought was impossible this time last year. Seriously, I still can’t quite believe all the wonderful support I’ve been receiving for my writing! Thank you guys so much!

I won’t tag anyone, since we’re pretty far into 2018, and it feels a bit late for this kind of stuff? But if you want to do it, then... tag you’re it!

[purplesurveys]

1028

survey by lets-make-surveys

1 - What was the last thing you watched on TV? The last TV show I watched was Friends, but the last thing I saw on TV was the evening news, as is always our companion when having dinner.

2 - Do you have the heating or air conditioning on at the moment? I have the fan on, like always. I just turn on the aircon in the evening because I want to be comfortable after a long day and when trying to fall asleep.

3 - When was the last time you did something to help someone else? Andi was having a dilemma about an already-secure job offer for a position they don’t 100% like vs. a job they know they would enjoy a lot more but isn’t guaranteed at all. I helped weigh out the pros and cons with them, but I didn’t necessarily stick to a position as I didn’t want to dictate a choice for them.

4 - If you have a job, have you been busier or quieter since the whole COVID thing hit? I was a student, then was unemployed, then got hired throughout this COVID fiasco so far. For the first two, life had been quiet for me and I really hated feeling like having no contribution at home. My plate is definitely a lot fuller now and I’m glad I have things to do and earn for myself while doing so.

5 - Do you spend more time on your own or with others? Are you happy with that? On my own. I think it’s best for me at the moment.

6 - Do you know anyone who has been diagnosed with autism? Yes.

7 - Have you had your wisdom teeth removed? What about your tonsils or your appendix? None of these. I’ve had a tooth removed, but it wasn’t a wisdom tooth.

8 - Are you scared of needles? Very. I hate most sharp things, and I am an embarrassment whenever I’m at the hospital and need to be pricked with something.

9 - Do you dress more for comfort, fashion or practicality? I try to strike a balance between comfort and fashion, but sometimes I’ll prioritize comfort and sometimes I’ll prioritize fashion. But practicality is definitely barely in my criteria when picking outfits.

10 - When was the last time you smoked a cigarette? I think it may have been February. I only smoke with other people and I’ve never bought my own pack.

11 - Would you rather drink tea, coffee, hot chocolate or water? In the grand scheme of things, water. But right now, a hot chocolate sounds heavenly.

12 - Do you have a lot of ornaments around your house? Yes. We also have our Christmas tree already up, so that has also boosted the amount of ornaments we have.

13 - Do you own more books or DVD’s? Books. While I have a number of DVDs, I never really an avid collector of them. My dad introduced me to torrent websites at a young age so that’s how I’ve been getting movies for the longest time.

14 - How often would you say you took surveys? Throughout the quarantine I had taken surveys daily. But with me now having work and usually being too exhausted by the end of the day, I think I’ll be back to taking surveys only on weekends now like how it was when I was in school. 

15 - Have you ever worn a uniform to school or work? Yes, I had to wear a uniform in my old school.

16 - Who was the first person you had a sleepover with? Are you still in touch with that person today? It would have to be either Angela or Gabie. Yes, I still talk to both.

17 - When you were growing up, did you have any friends who were almost like family to you? Katreen’s and Angela’s families were second families to me. For a time back in grade school, Katreen’s mom actually used to pick me up alongside Katreen every Friday and then I would stay at their place until around 9 PM, when my mom would get back from work and pick me up. They did such a wonderful job making me feel like family, and I hope they’re all doing well today.

18 - Could you cook an entire Christmas or Thanksgiving Dinner entirely on your own with no help from other people or recipe books? Yes but it would not be edible.

19 - Do you cook from scratch or do you rely more on ready meals or frozen food? I rely on people in my family who can actualy cook, ha.

20 - What’s your favourite type of fast food? Is it something you eat often? KFC would have to be my favorite. Those 11 herbs and spices don’t fuck around, man. It’s not the cheapest of fast food options, so I don’t get to have it a lot and it’s usually tradition for me to get KFC only when I feel like I deserve a reward for an accomplishment or after a grueling week.

21 - If you’ve been under a lockdown or stay-at-home order, what did you find the most difficult about it? Not having been able to see my friends, go out as a group, and stay out late. Also, not getting a normal college graduation and being unable to spend my last semester as a college student just being a dumb college student doing dumb college student things.

22 - Do you still buy or read any magazines? I’ll sometimes read the online versions of magazines especially if one of them comes out with a compelling article, but I don’t follow any of them religiously.

23 - As a teenager, what did you spend most of your pocket money or allowance on? I went out with friends on the weekends, so my savings mostly went to food and Uber (back when we still had Uber, and back when none of us could drive yet).

24 - Do you have much of a sweet tooth? I have my moods for sure, but I love savory a lot more.

25 - Are there any common “popular” foods that you don’t particularly like yourself? Have people ever told you you’re odd/strange for disliking that particular food? Fruits. I get judged for it all the time, but I honestly live for the reactions hahaha. To this day it’s still my go-to fact to say whenever I have to share something about myself. There’s also sinigang, but that is such a universally-loved food and is such a huge source of pride for Filipinos that I just keep it to myself because people get genuinely annoyed/offended when they hear that I don’t like sinigang LOL

26 - Likewise, are there are any commonly hated foods that you love? BALUT

27 - Would you rather eat pizza or pasta? Pizza. Easy.

28 - Do you own a lot of store loyalty cards? I just have the one for my gas station, so no.

29 - When was the last time you read a newspaper? I had to view a newspaper article for work yesterday, but I have not read a full newspaper in years.

30 - What kind of noises can you hear around you right now? There’s the fan in my room and construction outside our house.

--

survey by lets-make-surveys

1 - Do you have a car? How long have you had it and how much did it cost? Yeah but it’s technically not mine; my parents made the purchase and they gave it to me as a high school graduation present. They’re also the ones who take care of and pay for its maintenance, like taking it to oil changes; so literally my only contribution has been to drive it HAHAHA. I’ve been driving it since 2016 and I’m pretty sure it cost them less than a million bucks. It was probably around P800,000–900,000.

2 - Who was the last person to send you a message on Facebook? Andi was checking up on how I’ve been. I appreciated that.

3 - What did you have for breakfast this morning? I haven’t had it yet but I will probably skip it. I might make myself coffee, though.

4 - Do you have any scented candles lit at the moment? I never have any scented candles.

5 - When was the last time you left your house? When will be the next time you go out? Yesterday afternoon. There was nothing left to do for work and my superiors hadn’t been asking me to do any tasks anymore, so I went out to get myself Starbucks before my shift was actually over, haha oops. I might be going out next Tuesday to pick up my new card from the bank.

6 - Does anyone in real life follow your survey blog? If so, does it make you think twice about some of your answers? If not, are you ever paranoid that someone will find your blog and read your answers? No. My sister has been wanting to make a survey blog but she just never got around to making it because she thinks she’ll end up being inactive; but that’s about it on the irl people front. If she ever makes one, I’d prefer we didn’t follow one another as doing so would make things awkward.

7 - When was the last time someone stopped talking to you? Have you made up with that person since? Gabie doesn’t speak with me regularly anymore. We’re not on bad terms so there’s nothing to make up, but she has told me it’s out of shame that she doesn’t initiate conversations with me these days. 

8 - Who was the last person you argued or bickered with? I haven’t had an argument with anyone in a while.

9 - Do you have anything planned for the rest of the day? If you’re about to go to bed, what are your plans for tomorrow? Catch up on surveys as I haven’t done them all week, anddddd figure out what to do with my embroidery kit as I’ve run out of the provided thread :(

10 - Did you have any e-mails in your inbox the last time you checked? It’s the weekend so no, I haven’t received anything new.

11 - What time did you wake up this morning? Did you have to set an alarm or did you wake up naturally? It was 7:08 AM when I had checked. I just woke up naturally.

12 - When was the last time it snowed where you live? Probably when it was still a part of Pangaea or something. We don’t get snow on this side of the world and the nearest place that does is probably like South Korea, which is not near us at all.

13 - Does it bother you if you’re wearing odd socks? Like, mismatched ones? No, I find it cute actually.

14 - Is there anything small that bothers you way more than it should? Right now. I had sent out an event invite to certain media last Thursday for work, and one of them replied only by 6 PM last night. I only saw it by 9:30 and replied, then she got back with a question by around 9:50 PM, and at that point I decided against replying because it was already nearing 10 PM and I didn’t want to be rude. I want to reply today but it’s the weekend and I don’t wanna be the jerk that brings up work on the weekend, but I also don’t want to leave her hanging because I had technically cut our conversation short. 

OK I spent the next 30 minutes thinking about it and I ended up replying hahaha. It just didn’t sit well with me to blow her off for the weekend when her last message was a question for me. So I answered her for her clarification, but I just made sure to let her know there’s no pressure for her to get back to me this weekend.

15 - Would you rather read a book, watch a film or play a video game? Watch someone play a video game, tbh.

16 - Why did you last attend a doctors’ appointment? Because my fever wasn’t going away and I wanted to get rid of it so bad.

17 - Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? The person from Pizza Hut who took my order, I think? lol

18 - How many different colours have you dyed your hair over the years? is your hair your natural colour at the moment? I’ve never had it dyed, so it has always been black.

19 - Do you prefer sweet or savoury snacks? I have moods for both, but as a whole I think I’d go for savory.

20 - When was the last time you got up to use the bathroom? A couple of hours ago.

21 - Do you spend more money on shoes or clothes? I spend more often on clothes but they aren’t always necessarily expensive. I don’t buy shoes often, but when I do they’re usually quite expensive, so. I’m not sure how to answer this question, but it goes two ways for me.

22 - Are you glad that Biden won the 2020 elections? I’m glad he won but at the end of the day he’s still just the lesser evil. I won’t really know anything until I see him and his moves in office, so I’ll have to wait until then.

23 - What kind of things do you do to try and save the planet? I segregate, turn off the faucet when it isn’t being used, never turn on my bedroom light, and before Covid I’d pick up trash I’d see at the mall.

24 - Are you, or have you ever been, vegetarian or vegan? I haven’t been either but I do opt for vegan options when I see one on the menu.

25 - What was the last thing you threw in the bin/garbage? A cotton bud.

26 - How many times a week do you exercise? Do you think that’s enough or should you really be doing more? I never do. I know I should probably do so, but eh.

27 - When was the last time you had to cancel or re-arrange plans you'd made? What was the reason behind it? LOL well...I’m currently having to rearrange and revise and adjust my entire life plans because of this stupid breakup.

28 - Have you ever had to wear braces? Yes. But I’ll have to avail them again because I did a terrible job keeping my retainers on.

29 - What cut of jeans do you prefer? Mom jeans that are a little more loose than skinny jeans, but aren’t too baggy.

30 - If you’re planning to spend the day at home, do you get properly dressed or just wear pyjamas? I wear my usual getup of a t-shirt/tank top and shorts.

--

survey by lets-make-surveys

1 - What’s the biggest argument you’ve ever had with a family member? Did things ever go back to how they were beforehand? It was an argument with the entire family, sans my sister who stayed silently watching during the whole thing as she hates conflict. We had just flown back to Manila from a vacation and we were all just tired and impatient and hungry, my mom found a way to shift the blame on me as per usual, some words were exchanged, and my brother ended up slapping me and it was on hell on earth from there. Things weren’t ok for a whole week, but slowly life went back to normal without us ever acknowledging it because we’re dysfunctional as fuck. The one thing that never ended up changing is my dynamic with my brother, with whom I stopped speaking permanently after what he did.

2 - Have you ever experienced some kind of natural disaster? A lot; my country is a big hot spot for typhoons, so we don’t really have a choice but to go through several of them every year. Sometimes it’ll get bad enough for us to make it to international news because our government doesn’t really do anything to help out victims.

3 - If you have pets, do you feed them human food or do they just get regular pet food? If they do get human food, what’s their favourite thing to have? They both get human food. I’m not sure what Cooper’s favorite is as Nina primarily feeds him; but Kimi is most obsessed with chicken.

4 - Have you ever been in a physical fight? Who won? Just play wrestling matches with my cousin when we were kids. He always won as he was older and a lot bigger than me.

5 - What were you lighting the last time you used a lighter or matches? I don’t light stuff up on my own because I’m scared of fire, but the last time we used matches was for lighting up our emergency candles because of the power outage from last week.

6 - What’s the weather currently doing where you are? It is annoyingly humid. I had to open my windows and roll up my window blinds today, which I hate having to do because it makes neighbors able to see my room and what I’m doing here -_____- I feel like I’m giving away my privacy every time I have to have the blinds up just to have colder air in.

7 - The last time you got up from your seat, what did you go and do? Before doing this I came from bed. When I felt like doing a survey I just got up and headed to my work desk.

8 - Name five things you’ve done so far today: Received a package for something I bought online, made myself a sandwich, ate cheese-flavored corn chips, watch a half-season of Friends, and bought another embroidery kit online (I’ve been calling it ‘cross-stitch’ this whole time but apparently that is wrong, whoops). Not a very productive Saturday, but it’s honestly ok considering I’m left exhausted from the past week.

9 - What’s the mode of transport that you take or use the most? I drive myself.

10 - When was the last time you got caught in a rain or snow storm? Were you dressed for it or did you end up getting soaked? Start of the month. I was driving to take Cooper to the vet when it suddenly started raining super hard, but it was only upon arriving at the clinic that I realized there wasn’t any umbrella in the car. Had to make a quick dash from the car to the nearest shade, all the while keeping Cooper under my jacket so that he stayed dry. I was soaked as shit but he was kept dry, which was all that mattered.

11 - Did your favourite Disney film come out before or after you were born? I have two favorites: Toy Story came out three years before I was born, but Tangled came 12 years after my birth.

12 - Are you a fan of musicals? No, I never saw the appeal.

13 - What the last thing you spent money on apart from necessities? My favorite coffee from Starbucks. It’s a win-win situation for me at the moment: my mom is asking for a Starbucks planner for Christmas, which means all I need to do for her gift is to keep ordering coffees from there until I’ve collected enough stickers to be entitled to a planner, heheh.

14 - Are there any sequels to things that you prefer to the original? Ooh, I’m not the biggest fan of movies that come in multiple parts so I don’t know if I have any picks. I can name covers that I like than the original songs, though.

15 - How often do you lose the remote control? I haven’t really sat down in front of a TV to watch shows since high school, so I haven’t temporarily lost a remote control since then.

16 - When was the last time you had problems with your internet connection? Last Thursday and Friday but only because the power went out.

17 - What games do you play on your phone, if any at all? I play 1010 the most, but I’ve got tons of other games that are just sitting in my menu just in case I’m suddenly in the mood to play them.

18 - Aside from family, who was the last person you spent time with? How do you know that person? I dunno, I guess the people in my work meeting video call yesterday afternoon? It was my first meeting with that particular team as the newbie at work, so I don’t actually know all of them that well yet.

19 - Are you currently warm, cold or just right? I am hot and irritated by it.

20 - Do you prefer showers or baths? When was the last time you had either? Showers; my last one was yesterday. My last bath was...no clue. Two years ago, maybe?

21 - Do you spend a lot of money on your appearance? I used to spend a lot on clothes, yeah, at least before Covid. But right now there really has been no point in upgrading my wardrobe, so I haven’t been buying any new pieces.

22 - When was the last time you spent more than £100 on something? Was it a necessity like a bill, or a treat for yourself? I have never spent ₱6,408 in one sitting, whether it be for myself, for a necessity, or for someone else. That’s crazy and will probably take a couple more years before I see myself making transactions that huge.

23 - Would you rather swim in the sea, a lake or a pool? Seeeeeeeea. I always feel at peace in the sea, and ugh I miss it so much.

24 - Have you ever had a zoo keeper experience or anything where you’ve been able to go behind the scenes and look after/feed the animals? I wouldn’t call it a zookeeper experience, but we went to some sort of animal park in Bali that let me carry and interact with all sorts of animals.

25 - Would you ever want the responsibility of being a politician or a similar position of power? Probably not. I don’t think I’d be able to handle it.

26 - How many times a week do you go to the grocery store? My parents go at least once a week to buy groceries.

27 - When was the last time you got a takeaway coffee or drink? Last night. Being able to earn money and spend it on myself and never have to ask from my parents anymore has been one of the highlights of my year so far, aaaahhhhh

28 - Do you quote films or TV shows as you’re watching them? If I love the film and memorize a chunk of the dialogue, yes. The movie I quote the most as I watch it is most definitely Titanic.

29 - What’s something your parents do that really annoys you? My dad doesn’t really do anything that annoys me. My mom doesn’t knock.

30 - If you had to quarantine for two weeks tomorrow due to testing positive to COVID, would you be able to survive on the things you had in your house? Yes. I’ll be locked in my room but my dad will probably be bringing me food, just the way he did when I got sick last May and had to isolate myself.

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

8 things finishing my 8th book taught me

*I wrote this post on the 16th of October, for the record!*

Hey People of Earth!

So just like in the post I wrote up in January when I finished my seventh novel, this is kind of nuts to say, and I didn't think I’d be writing this for another month, but uh.

I finished my eighth book.

jskwiclksalwkmevlqk

I’m going to quote past me in that particular post (which you can read HERE) because if this isn't scary accurate, I dunno what is:

So I kind of made a stupid, somewhat fleeting goal this past Friday, as I usually do. And that was to finish this book at all costs.

It doesn't *really* surprise me that that I finished my seventh novel, and then my eighth under the same parameters, lol. (Both were finished on Sunday nights too, I believe?)

I genuinely can’t believe this book is over. It’s been eight months of writing this novel (HA eight months for my eighth book) and I can say I’m genuinely so sad it’s over. I walked around today feeling like I lost an important part of myself which is really dramatic seeming as though I just finished the book, but I hope someone out there relates.

I started this book right after finishing my seventh novel (book four in this series), and I’ll be honest--I was so scared about writing this book. Book seven gave me a really hard time, and I almost thought I’d made a mistake in a) continuing this story and b) taking it in the direction I did. I couldn't evade fear when writing this novel. Starting it took me a while because it was so nerve-wracking to think it could be as much of a struggle as the last. I didn't want to fail because I knew if I did, I wouldn't be able to pull myself out of that rut, and then end up with an unfinished series.

Annnnnnd then I started my Doing the Write Thing updates, and all of that worry faded a bit. I started DtWT at a little under 10k words, and reached a little under 160k through that series. It kept me accountable. It excited me, and more than anything, motivated me. I know I mentioned this in DtWT #61, but thank you again for supporting that series so much, and for reading those posts. Genuinely, it means a lot to share my work with you, and to see my work improve as each post passes. I really don't know if I would’ve finished this novel without that series. It really kicked me into the gear of writing again, and gahhhh, thank you again.

FOSTERED #5 houses some of my best work, but most importantly, taught me so, so much, and so, here I bring to you, eight things finishing my eighth novel taught me.

1. I really care about writing.

This is my eighth book, and I can confidently say this is the only one in which I cared about the writing from start to finish. (Sounds strange, but I’ll explain.)While writing is a lot of things, at its core, writing is writing, and it took me eight books to really immerse myself in words and enjoy using them as tools to create something beautiful. I crave beautiful prose—a desire I didn’t really feel until writing this book. Making sentences read and sound like art is what I strive for now. 

From books 1-6, writing wasn't my top priority. Telling a story no matter the quality was my priority, and while that isn't wrong, I think working with that mindset for so long wasn't becoming enough for me. I needed to re-evaluate, and really focusing on the craft of writing, rather than storytelling was what I needed. Of course, writing also includes good storytelling, but I feel, looking back on it, that until halfway around book seven, I didn't even think about the writing. I didn't edit it all that much, and most importantly, didn't care about writing. I liked words, yeah, and enjoyed creating the random nice sentence here and there, but I didn't view it as something I could use to create art. Now, good writing means a lot to me, and while I don't think my writing is perfect, and could use improvement, I’m so happy with the improvement I’ve made and the love of actual writing I’ve procured start-to-finish through it. :)

2. Sometimes acceptance takes time.

Book four of this series (my seventh novel) took me a very, very long time to accept, and even after I’d written it, I wasn’t confident in the route I’d taken it. I still had the same worries when writing book five and it took a whole lot of crying to realize that I’m very proud of how these last two books turned out. I’m an emotional person, but don't often show my emotions, so it’s sort of funny looking back how much I cried when writing this book, HA. I had a lot of worries about this novel, and my anxiety was eating me alive every time I wrote it. That was my issue in the beginning, but I found, the more time went on in writing this book, the more I accepted it, and the more I grew to really love it. So, if you’re in a position like me, and you’re seriously not feeling your book, sometimes time is the best remedy.

3. Moments like these are the ones you need to cherish.

When I was writing the last paragraph or so of this book, I got really emotional (lol how do I say that without sounding melodramatic). I didn’t cry or anything, but it felt like I was losing something. It was bittersweet. I’ve never felt this way before when I’ve finished a novel. It’s honestly usually been me moving onto the next book the same day or the next day, or feeling content.

But this… was something else. It was letting go of something I loved so much. I learned through this book that every time you write your book is time you should cherish. It’s something you spend a chunk of your life on. Moments happen around your book, and your book is there with you to experience them. This book in particular holds such a strong place in my heart because it gave me--as cheesy as it sounds lol rip--some new hope.

I learned to love the book I write when I write it even if it’s a pain. To cherish my time with this book, and to take my time. It hurt to finish it, honestly, I guess it’s particularly angsty for me to say I feel this grief for something that hasn't left me. I’m so glad it’s done, but it was like closing the door to a chapter I didn’t want to end. It had to end in that spot, rightfully so, but I wanted to hang onto it for as long as I could. I genuinely appreciate every moment I had to write this book, looking back. And I’m so happy I learned so much through it.

4. Taking your time isn’t a bad thing.

This sort of bounces off that last one, but this is a lesson I learned the hard way. My average drafting time before I wrote my seventh book was 3 months. This book, as I mentioned, took me eight months, and before then, the longest it’d taken me to write a novel was six months, and that was the hardest book I’d ever written. A big issue I had when I was writing book four in this series was that I felt as if taking three months longer than my average to draft was a telling sign that I was struggling with the book. I can pretty much say writing this novel was a bit of a breeze (it had its moments, but overall), and taking my time helped in terms of quality. A disclaimer, the time it takes to write a book varies from writer to writer, so this is completely personal, but I feel like taking a little longer writing this book realllyyyyyyy amped it up in the prose department.

Not to roast past me, but yooooo my older books lacked a lottttttttt of literary merit, like where is the good writing cuz I see none, lol. Not to say this book is amazing and the writing is excellent, but I do see a substantial improvement from my older stuff. So yes, initially when I started writing this book I was keen on finishing it in three months and rushing it so I could just be done and write something else. But as time went on, I realized that there is no rush. Even though I constantly feel at rush in my life (for mental health reasons I don't want to get into now, but if you’re curious, let me know!), I learned to take it slow. Enjoy the writing process, and create something at the end of the day, regardless of how long it takes.

5. I’m growing up.

A common question I posed while writing this book to myself and to my sister was well where did all the fun times go? Books 1-3 in this story are pretty juvenile—more banter between characters, ‘missions’, and so on, but as I aged, I found those things dried up and turned into just straight melancholy? (lol) I don’t have many if any fun times in book five, not in the sense I defined fun times as at least in the past. This series has spanned five books, and three years of my life, so I’ve done a lot of growing up since writing the first one. Its message and morals have gone from super obvious to pretty ambiguous, and the lines of morality have been blurred quite a bit (which I enjoy incorporating into my writing now). Right and wrong aren’t as easily spotted (and tbh this book is totallllyyyyy not suited for a YA audience lol content is hella graphic but), and a lot of it is rooted in the darkest corners of the human mind. I don't know if 13-year-old me would’ve expected these books to wind up in this path, but 16-year-old me is cool with where it is. I left a lot of me in these books, and pretty much grew up with them. It’s strange to have captured so much growth of myself personally in these novels, but this is already something I've learned to cherish.

6. I might actually be a true Pantser (but we’ll see)

So if any of you have been following this blog since the good ol’ 2015 days, it’s common knowledge that I made it clear I was a Pantser. I pantsed everyyyythiiiiingggg. In recent years, I’ve decided to start outlining projects I plan on publishing (for the most part, excluding ALANNIS) just so I can see what I’m getting into before I start. The FOSTERED series, since it’s all personal stuff, isn’t going to be published. I pants these books, but occasionally, and I found this happened a lot more with book five, I’ll write up ‘scene screenplays’ which are basically just the bones of a scene.

OH did I find out that writing with a guideline does noooottttt work for me. I’m not going to say anything here is permanent, but I pretty much realized my writing with my outline VS without one is drastically different... I’m not actually happy about this discovery to be honest, as I've already started outlining a couple projects, and the struggle was so real when writing with an outline for this novel. I really do hope this is not the case, and was just subjective to this book, but yes, this was a major lesson I picked up on when writing this particular book (and I reallllllllyyyyyyyy hope this changes)!

7. I like writing really sad, dark things

This is sorta morbid, I’m sorry, but I’m really into writing all things dark and upsetting and overall, enjoy a darker tone in my writing. I noticed, if I had any ‘happier’ scene, it’d take me a little longer to write/I had more trouble writing it. Don’t know what that says about me, but as someone who is sort of naturally on the darker side (edgy af the edge is real), it makes sense that I do enjoy the not so pleasant sides of the mind, and life. Or, I’m just really angsty, and angst (poetic angst in this book, I’ll say) is all you need. Love is all you need more like angst is all you need.

*angst*

I don't think there’s anything particularly wrong with enjoying writing darker things, and I noted that I often struggle writing joy. Honestly this is just sad, lol. (But I mean look at my boi Edgar, he wrote lots of dark things and I mean that's my dude now speaking of Edgar, the epigraph of this novel [which I’m including, even if the others don’t because epigraphs are aesthetic goals] is an Edgar quote and Edgar is my bro.)

8. I love this book so much, and if I could go back and tell myself I would have when I started it, I would.

I worried a lot when I started this novel. I worried it would fail, that it would get nowhere, that it would end unfinished, that I’d taken it the wrong route, that it would take too long to write, that I wouldn’t enjoy what I was writing, that the plot was dumb, that I focused on the wrong things, that the first chapter wasn’t strong enough, and a whole other laundry list of worries pretty common between writers. I really would go back to my past self and tell her not to worry. To tell her that just because she wrote this book and said she wouldn't, doesn't mean the product would be shitty. I’m genuinely proud of this novel, and I don't know if I’ve said that in a long time. I’m happy I wrote it. Happy I poured eight months of my life into it, and most importantly, am happy it taught me so many valuable lessons. I’m happy I got to connect with you on another level through it, and happy I carried it with me through this stage of my life. It saw my hatred, and my worst moments, my great moments, my worry, and every other emotion I also tried to share on here. Books are books, but this one felt like a friend. I’m sad to lose my friend now, but I’m thankful for the time we spent together. This got all sappy again, but yes. Thank you, book. I will miss writing you, lol.

So that’s it for today’s post. I had a blast writing this. It’s always a nice reflective period to go back in time and really point out what exactly I learned through this journey. I think this novel shaped me a lot as a writer, and I’m happy to move into other projects without it, because I feel like I know a lot more than I did before. Thank you for being on this journey with me, and for reading through everything that happened in these last eight months. I truly appreciate everything you give me, and couldn't express my thanks enough.

Aaaaand before I leave, a mega thanks to my dudes who continuously supported this journey: @sarahkelsiwrites, @sssoto and @shaelinwrites for listening, encouraging, and teaching me so many things about writing.

See you in the next one. :)

--Rachel

[bluestar22x]

Master Post To Everything

Lost looking for something on this blog? This is the post for you!

Months listed next to each show/movie/etc. below are those in which they were reblogged the most (mainly catch ups in the case of shows) or important months for reblogging a show (the start of a new season and such).

I don’t regularly reblog all the shows I watch/have watched. My description of this blog on my main page lists the shows that are the ones that get that much attention.

If you’ve been following my tumblr account for a while you probably know that at the beginning of each month I’ve been doing “catch up” reblogs. This will continue until I get everything I want in my archive (because otherwise I can’t find my favs). Smaller catch ups may occur throughout the month.

This post is here just to get an idea of where to find the majority of the gifs and photos, etc. for each show and movie, along with some animal/nature stuff. It may be easier or faster, in some cases, to find something this way rather than through the tags (though I do have a decent tagging system) because of the considerable amount of gifs I reblog for certain shows.

It’ll also be my guide to what to reblog next, and therefore I plan to continue updating this post whenever I’ve either had a lot of activity and/or it’s a new month. xxx Currently Covered Shows x 12 Monkeys – August 2015, April - July 2016, May - June 2017

13 Reasons Why - April 2017 Agents of SHIELD – March 2016, April - May 2016 Almost Human – January 2016 Arrow - February 2017, June 2017, August 2017 Being Human (US) - November 2016 Believe - August 2016 Bones (Fox Bones Show) - March 2016, Sept. 2016 Boy Meets World – March 2016, July 2016, Jan. 2017 Buffy The Vampire Slayer - Sept. 2016 Burn Notice - Sept. 2016 Charmed – February 2016, June 2016, Aug. - Sept. 2017 Chicago Fire – March 2016, Aug. 2016, Nov. 2016, March 2017, Aug. 2017 Constantine – December 2015, February 2016 Dark Angel - March 2017 DC Crossovers (CW) - Nov. - Dec. 2016, Feb. 2017 Dominion – August 2015, November 2015 Forever - July 2016 Frequency - Oct. 2016 Fringe - June 2016 Girl Meets World – March 2016, July 2016, Jan. 2017 Heartland – February - April 2016, June - July 2016, Sept. 2016 - Dec. 2016, Jan. - Sept. 2017

Humans - Aug. 2017 Into The Badlands – Nov. - Dec. 2015, Jan. 2017, March - June 2017 Kyle XY - June 2016 Legends Of Tomorrow - February 2017, Aug. 2017 Lethal Weapon - Sept. – Dec. 2016, Jan. - April 2017, June 2017, Sept. 2017 Moonlight - November 2016 Nashville - March - April 2017 Nikita – Nov. 2015, Jan. 2016, Aug. 2016, Aug. 2017 Once Upon A Time – January 2016 One Tree Hill – March 2016, July 2016, Jan. 2017, April 2017, Aug. 2017 Person of Interest – March 2016, June 2016

Prehistoric Park - May 2017 Proof - August 2016

Psych - Sept. 2017

Sabrina The Teenage Witch - June 2017

Shooter - Aug. 2017

Sleepy Hollow (4 Horsemen only) - August 2016 Stitchers - Aug. 2016, March 2017 Supergirl - March 2016, Sept. - Dec. 2016, Jan. - May 2017, Aug. 2017 Supernatural – Nov. 2015, March 2016, May 2016, July – Sept. 2016, Oct. 2016 (Huge post), Nov. - Dec. 2016, Jan. - Aug. 2017 Teen Wolf – Nov. 2015, Feb. 2016, March - April 2016, Nov. - Dec. 2016, Jan. - Feb. 2017, April 2017, Aug. - Sept. 2017 The Flash – December 2015, February 2017, Aug. 2017

The Following - July 2017 The Librarians – Oct. - Nov. 2015, July 2016, Nov. - Dec. 2016, Jan. - Feb. 2017, April 2017, July - Sept. 2017 The Originals – Dec. 2015, April 2016, Dec. 2016, Sept. 2017 The Vampire Diaries - January - March 2017, Sept. 2017 The Walking Dead – March 2016

Transformers Prime - May 2017 Whose Line Is It Anyway? - March 2017 Wildfire (ABC Family) - June 2016 Veronica Mars/Veronica Mars Movie - Sept. 2016, Aug. 2017 xxx Movies x

101 Dalmatians - July 2017

101 Dalmatians (1996) - July 2017

Age Of Adaline - June 2017

Alice (2009) - April 2017

All Dogs Go To Heaven/ADGTH 2 - July 2017 A Puppy For Christmas - December 2016 Avatar - Feb. 2017 A Walk To Remember – May 2016

Back To The Future - June 2017

Balto - July 2017 Bambi - June 2016 Batman V. Superman - April 2016, May 2016, July 2016, Sept. 2016 Beauty And The Beast (Animated) - June 2016, Dec. 2016, Aug. 2017 Beauty And The Beast 2017 - Dec. 2016, Aug. 2017 Black Beauty - Sept. 2016

Blood And Chocolate - Sept. 2017 Brother Bear – May 2016

Clash Of The Titans/Wrath Of The Titans - Sept. 2017 Creed - April 2016 Criminal - December 2016

Cruel Intentions - Sept. 2017 Deadpool - Sept. 2016

Dirty Dancing - July 2017 Eight Below - Sept. 2016

Ella Enchanted - Sept. 2017 Enemy Mine - January 2017

Eragon - Sept. 2017 Fallen TV Movie - Jan. 2017 Fast And Furious Movies - April 2016, April 2017 Flicka (w/Tim McGraw) - Sept. 2016

Footloose - July 2017 Frozen - June 2016

Grease - June 2017 George Of The Jungle - Jan. 2017 Hachi - Sept. 2016

Hellboy Movies - May 2017 Hercules (Animated) – May - June 2016 Hidalgo - Sept. 2016 Homeward Bound - Sept. 2016

Hours - June 2017

How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days - June 2017 Ice Age Movies – May 2016 If I Stay – May 2016 If Only - Jan. 2017 Iron Will - Sept. 2016 Jack Frost (1998) - Jan. 2017 Jurassic Park/Jurassic World – May 2016 Justice League - Sept. 2016, Aug. 2017 Just Like Heaven - Jan. 2017 Lady And The Tramp - June 2016 Lassie (1994) - Sept. 2016 Legally Blonde – May 2016

Legion (2010) - May 2017 Man Of Steel - April 2016, Aug. 2017 Marley And Me - Sept. 2016 Marvel Universe - April 2016, June - July 2016, Sept. 2016, Aug. 2017 Max (Dog Movie) - Sept. 2016 Mulan (Animated) – May 2016

Narnia Series - Sept. 2017 Oliver And Company - June 2016 Pocahontas - June 2016

Priest - May 2017

Prince Of Persia (2010) - June 2017 Raise Your Voice - Jan. 2016 Red Dog - Sept. 2016 Remember Sunday – May 2016 Rocky (1-6) - April 2016 Seabiscuit - Sept. 2016 Secretariat - Sept. 2016

She’s Having A Baby - July 2017 She’s The Man – May 2016 Shrek - June 2016 Snow Dogs - Sept. 2016

Snow White And The Huntsman - Sept. 2017

Spiderman (2002) - August 2017 Spirit: Stallion Of The Cimarron – May 2016 Star Trek (2009 Verse) - April 2016, July - Sept. 2016 Star Wars - April 2016, Sept 2016, Aug. 2017 Suicide Squad - Sept. 2016

Sweet Home Alabama - June 2017 Tangled - June 2016, May 2017 Tarzan (Animated) – May 2016

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990) - July 2017 Terminator Movies – May 2016

Tremors - July 2017 The Crow (Original) – May 2016

The Dark Knight/The Dark Knight Trilogy - June 2017, Aug. 2017

The Fox And The Hound - July 2017 The Horse Whisperer - Sept. 2016

The Hunger Games - May 2017, Aug. 2017

The Jungle Book - Aug. 2017

The Land Before Time - July 2017

The Legend Of Tarzan - June 2017 The Lion King Movies (Animated) – May - June 2016, May 2017 The Little Mermaid - June 2016 The Magnificent Seven (2016) - Jan. 2017

The Maze Runner - May 2017

Moana - July 2017 The Mummy (1999) - Jan. 2017 The Mummy Returns - Jan. 2017 The Proposal – May 2016 The Secret Life Of Pets - December 2016 The Ultimate Gift - December 2016 Toy Story - June 2016

Transformers Movies - May 2017

Twilight Movies - May 2017 Unconditional - December 2016 Walking Tall - Jan. 2017 War Horse - Sept. 2016, Nov. 2016

We Bought A Zoo - June 2017 Wonder Woman 2017 - April 2016, July 2016, Nov. 2016, Sept. 2017 X-Men/Wolverine/Logan Movie - Oct. - Nov. 2016, Aug. 2017 xxx Animals/Nature (Horses, Dogs, etc.) - July 2016, Nov. 2016, April 2017, Aug. 2017 xxx The Walking Dead Game - Nov. 2016

xxx

Other Actors

Zac Efron - August 2017

Chris Pine - Sept. 2017

Chris Hemsworth - Sept. 2017

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Shows, Movies, And Others To Come (By Priority) x

Wonder Woman 2

Justice League

Spiderman Homecoming - Peter Parker, Tony and Pepper

Thor 3 Underworld (1-5) The Lucky One Charlie St. Cloud I Am Number Four Beastly Grizzly Falls RoboCop The Pacifier The Game Plan The Longest Ride Country Song movie Footloose (2000s version) Angel Eyes The Host In My Dreams (Hallmark) Warm Bodies The Duff

Mamaboy Riley Smith in Movies Joey Lawrence in Movies  - Horse Sense x

Midnight, Texas Daredevil Netflix Series The Originals - Klaus, Elijah, Hope and others (Finale season, Season 5) Limitless – Brian, Mike, Ike, etc. Nashville – 5x11 and Beyond

Stitchers (Season 3/Gifs posted since last update - use camille’s last name, not just 1st name) iZombie – Liv, Ravi, Major, Lowell, Drake Warehouse 13 Grimm – Nick, Monroe, Hank, Wu, Rosalee, Season 1-3 Chasing Life – April, Leo Sherlock

Fresh Prince

Gillian’s Island Elementary (1x21 or 1x22 Art scene) Beauty and the Beast (CW) Dark Matter Killjoys Humans (AMC) Baby Daddy – Danny, Ben with Emma Melissa and Joey – Mel and Joe, Lennox and Zander, Ryder Saving Hope This Is Us (NBC) Supernatural Season 13 & Beyond Frequency - Anything after 1x01 x Revisit Someday: All shows caught up on but still aired new episodes afterwards will be revisited eventually, as well as movies if I find more gifs.

[sofreshsosoulful]

Irish women at the controls-a short of list of some of the DJ’s

Following on from the excellent This Greedy Pig article by Emily Carson on Irish women in electronic music, it struck me from the discussion that followed that there seemed to be a sense here that women have only recently made inroads here in this regard. The reality couldn’t be further from the truth and in Ireland women have played an important part behind the decks over the years. The history may not have always been documented but it runs deep. Down here in Cork there was one stage where I can vividly remember around the turn of the millennium a few male hip-hop dj’s lamenting that they were not getting a chance, as there were so many women getting gigs! How times have changed! Overall I’m going to provide a brief list of women who I know personally who’ve made an impact here, mainly from the djing point of view though there are many more who produce music too and are involved in other realms. (Edit: i’m adding producers now too). It’s not a comprehensive list and it will be mainly focused on my field (soulful music with a few exceptions) and confined to those mainly who I know or have worked with. (Edit; the list is expanding now more additions coming). This means it’s pretty cork centric too, where there’s always been loads of female djs active. Anyway the list is just a tip of the iceberg, and if other women are looking for inspiration, there are some great examples here.

There’s a lot of debate surrounding lack of women on festival line-ups and house and techno are particularly male dominated, though again, two of the biggest Irish festival slots last year were held by women. Annie Mac is probably the best known DJ in the whole country and she’s arguably the biggest name in the UK too. She played a saturday night main stage set at Longitude last July and was the only DJ to do so. Meanwhile Jenny Greene proved to be a huge highlight at the Electric Picnic, where her 90s dance orchestral show first showed that it could be an arena filler. She’s sold out her forthcoming Live at the Marquee show in no time. But a recent twitter conversation started by Nialler9 highlighted that some festivals have only a few women, and that Annie and Jenny are more often than not the exception rather than the rule.

DJing is a male dominated activity, but look a bit deeper and there are examples aplenty of women making an impact here. Please add to this list and pardon me for forgetting so many more. I’ve left out many who are known primary in other fields (e.g. radio DJs such as  Nicki Hayes, Lilian Smith and Louise Mac Sharry, artists such as Maeve Murphy, Elaine Mai, Laoise etc)  I kept it to mainly DJ’s too rather than producers, of whom there are many many more. (Edit: i’ll be adding more producers but i’ll keep radio off it for now). It’s a male dominated activity but it’s good to shine a light on many of those who some of you might not know, aswell as the big names too. I’ll be adding to the list too when i get a chance. This list aims to highlight those making an impact and i’m not for one minute saying that women don’t face big obstacles breaking into a male dominated industry. But those who do are many and here’s a few who deserve your attention 

EDIT Loads more additions made and more to come!

Annie Mac

The Dubliner is Irelands (and arguably the UKs) best known DJ, and her radio show is massively popular and influential.

Jenny Greene   Hugely popular 2FM DJ who’s RTE Concert orchestra gigs are selling out time after time these days, Jenny is a big draw throughout Ireland in clubs and now arenas.

ELLLL Brilliant Cork producer and DJ who’s Romance EP drew lots of favour last year, ELLLL has already appeared on Boiler Room and she spearheads the Gash Collective of female artists. Also one half of WRYMYRRH with Irene Buckley.

Irene Buckley  Composer who is very busy writing for theatre , dance and film, providing improvised electronics in WRYMYRRH with ELLLL, and playing with the sublime Crevice too

Mona-Lxsa

   If it’s hard for women to breakthrough it’s fair to say it’s harder for black women to breakthrough in an industry dominated by white males. Dublin based Souletiquette co-founder has no such problems though just look at the numbers her soundcloud mixes are hitting.

Susie K  Little is known about Susie outside Cork, but she was my DJ partner at the influential Jam Junior in the savoy for many years, playing to over 800 or 900 every time. She started doing these teenage gigs in Sir Henrys at only about 12 or 13 years of age and remains highly respected here.

Laura Lolz  Galway Bap to the future resident and another DJ and taste-maker highlighted in the article by This Greedy Pig. Laura has since been dead helpful in adding a few more to this list!

Claire Maloney    Very well known DJ and personality who used play a wide selection of funky grooves in the highly regarded Ju-Ju club and elsewhere and do some radio presenting on TodayFM.

Ms Ken D   Wexford native who set up Radio Friendly in Cork city and also ran club nights such as Soulsides here. Andrea was also a resident at Mor Disco in Cork.

DJ Dandelion  Dandelion has been DJing for well over 20 years now, spinning the soul & mod wax, running multiple nights, and remaining one of the coolest and most distinctive figures in the Capital.

Hilary Rose (DJ Her)   Dj and actor who is now achieving great success with “The Young Offenders”

Aisling o’Riordain  DJ and promoter who spearheads the southern hospitality board and Quarter block party. I would have worked closely with Aisling in the Pav and subsequently elsewhere too.

Aoife Ni Canna Limerick native who has DJ’d all over the country over the years, a veteran who plays soulful r&b and house and who was responsible for the seminal “Folklore from the dancefloor” radio documentary on Irish club culture.

Kelly Anne Byrne  TodayFM radio presenter and club DJ who presents one of the best shows on irish radio, and who is a regular on big festival bills such as the Electric Picnic

Mo Kelly  Former model but also a well known DJ and an artist who has hosted many solo exhibitions.

Tara Stewart  Dublin based Radio DJ on RTE and an eager breaker of new music, Tara is also heavily involved in the excellent District Magazine

Vicky Langan  Cork based artist who is highly respected in various fields including performance, sound and film, Vicky is woking on an audio visual project at the Irish Cultural Centre in Paris.

Miss Motif  This Mitchelstown Dj singer songwriter and producer has been a regular on the irish dance scene for many years now.

Eleni Ellen is a cork born dj, singer and producer who has been making electronic music in New York for a good few years. Her younger sister Liz is a brilliant music talent too

Claire Beck  Another DJ who is also a well known radio presenter, Claire regularly spins at the likes of Lumo in Dublin.

Kate o’Shea DJ and booker for the always busy Crane Lane in cork city.

Jenny Glitt, Shirley Sparkle, Velma Velour, Jade Some of the DJ’s who helped Corks indie night Freakscene become one of the longest running club-nights in the country, this clubnight had a strong female presence in various venues.

Mandy Reid   Lisburn DJ who has played huge gigs here, a veteran of the Irish music scene.

Ciara Brady  Young Irish DJ who spins disco and house and has recently formed Citrus DJ’s with Colum o’Connell.

Gina Johnson   Cork soul and hip-hop DJ who was a resident alongside myself in Sir Henrys in the 1990s. Gina was one of the biggest influences on moi and her taste in music was superb.

Kim Keating   Workshop cork resident who has recently appeared at the Lumo 1st birthday party, Kim has been spinning electronic grooves at various parties for many years now.  

Joni Singer/writer/musician and DJ, she has just released her new track today too! Joni is a member of Gash Collective and is about to start a fortnightly show on Dublin Digital Radio too!

Ruth Kavanagh   Ruth is a resident at Mother in Dublin, who run weekly club nights plus appearances on the festival circuit.

Sweet Oblivion Better known as a a journalist and all round arts contributor these days, Aoife Barry is a really good DJ too.

Shiv Siobhan ni Bhrosnachain has been very active with the skirmish blog here, and she’s plays electro vibes on radio and in clubs.

Elaine Howley Altered Hours, Crevice, Morning Veils and Cosmosis on UCC radio. Amazing taste in tunes!

Eve Dublin female collective of DJ’s that include Lauren, Jessica and Micu

Senita Appiakorang  Shookrah front-woman who also sings with Lakerama, Senita has been known to drop some soulful gems on the turntables too

Rosalyn Steer  Cork musician who is in the excellent Morning Veils with Aisling o’Riordan and Elaine Howley (Altered Hours), Rosalyn won’t consider herself a DJ but she often steels the show at my vinyl love gigs.

Arlene Murray Mitchelstown promoter with Alliance Promotions, Arlene is an amazing DJ who will play anything from northern soul and garage rock to 60s pop and new wave!

Spinderellas An all female DJ ensemble who play Bow Lane last Sunday of every month, Sarah-Jane Goff, Mimi Rogue, and often Christine Kelly. Sarah and Christine Kelly play Whitefriar Grill too and Sarah has played Womyn for 2 months, an event in the Soundhouse Wiley Fox which usually includes a female line up!

Aoife o’Neill

Kerry woman who is very busy behind the decks in cork, this month along she plays Cube, Cask, Pigalle and Sober Lane.

Aisling Murphy

Cork native now residing and djing in Edinburgh, and spinning house music all night long.

Fifi de Faoite Another Cork DJ who is spinning abroad, this Clonakilty born DJ spins at venues such as the Roadhouse in London.

Lisa Lemur The sacred harp singer and promoter of some excellent events is also a capable DJ who will drop anything from crazy animal instructional songs to Arthur Russell on the decks!

EimearJean McCormack, Sinead Murphy and Ciara McCormack  I’m gonna include these three, as they used play quite a bit in cork at the turn of the century, in various bars and clubs and on radio too! All are pursuing great careers in other artistic avenues now.

Sally Cinnamon Another very popular and influential dj who plays pretty much everything, and who has played everywhere from big festivals to clubs and bars

DJ Half Dutch Now in London but originally a Dub, and part of the influential Standard Crew spinning UK garage and grime, she had a show on Radio na Life too (via Colz)

Genie Bassbin resident alongside Ali, Genie then hooked up with Bodytonic and played some of their nights plus the Electric Picnic. She also hosted a radio na life show for 4/5 years (via Executive Steve and thanks to Jean for speaking to me too!)

Ali Drum n’bass partner at the legendary Bassbin with the aforementioned Genie, she also did that Radio na Life show before moving to London where she still played the odd gig in her pub, the Castle (via Steve, Ali and Jean!)

Kate brennan Harding  Now a producer at TodayFM, Kate is also a DJ who still spins at parties such as Mother Dublin

Laura Totten DJ Sage Music producer, singer,drummer, DJ and lover of everything, DJ Sage is hugely popular Stateside (via Genie)

Carla Brennan Soulful vibes were always the order of the day from Carla, who also had the misfortune of working with myself and Jim o’mahony in comet records Cork for awhile.

Jules Walsh DJ and booker at the Chambers in Cork.

Isabel Bartak Healy  Radio presenter at Redfm, Izzy now DJ’s at clubs too and played at last years Indiependence Festival

Natasha Scott

A regular at Reggae Fever, she has smashed it at Sim Simma a few times too (via Frankie Grimes)

Little Jay Toby Hatchett is a well known face at musical festivals, and his daughter was only 11 when she made her dj debut at Body and Soul festival (via Dr Dread)

Siobhan Kane Journalist and passionate music fan, Siobhan runs Young hearts run free and she DJ’s at some of their many unique events

Justyna aka Juko Polish born Dublin based DJ playing mainly house and tech-house in Opium Rooms, Pygmalion, South William and on radio with Phever.ie

Natalia Beylis aka Sunken Hum Organiser of the Hunters Moon festival in Leitrim, she’s got amazing mixes on Bandcamp (via dj mascis)

Niamh Hegarty Niamh New Noise is talented across many disciplines and a brilliant supporter of new music.

Saoirse London based DJ from Dublin who has gone from pirates here to Rinse FM. She has already had an RA mix of the day, and has enjoyed frequent appearances for promoters such as Art of Dark, Toi Toi, Make Me, Half Baked & fabric.

Tiny Choons KT and Zonja, two tiny, best pals playing house, disco, funk soul and hip hop for the last couple of years and producing podcasts on Radiomade and ClearHaze.ie. KT also runs dance music blog Swooner Rather Than Hater'

Maedbh O’Connor One of the main people behind DIE in Limerick and a killer techno DJ (Via Justin of Cutting Heads Collective cork)

Kate Butler Still active on Dublin Digital radio, Kate did a show on PowerFM back in the day, and is a well known journalist too (via Ali)

Kate Ahern Another Cork DJ very active at one stage, Kate used play hip-hop and soul in various bars and clubs such as Hi-Fi

Gadget and the Cloud Lo-fi experimental hip-hop vibes from Cork, Kelly Doherty is busy making music and writing about music for the Thin Air while studying at UCC.

Olivia Chau  Olivia has been very active in Limerick for over 10 years and is part of the D.I.E. crew, Djing and promoting and bringing her kitsch-y blend of music to the masses (Via mynameisjohn)

Ali Day Lee Ali started collecting records while studying in Cork and set up Flipittv with Olivia Chau, and they soon became part of D.I.E., where Ali started organising and DJing at the parties (via mynameisJohn)

Maebh Murphy Still flying the flag with You’re only massive, Maebh has been active for many years bringing her DIY aesthetic to a new life in Berlin. She is now helping spearhead the first Girls Rock Dublin music camp soon, “taking a stand against sexism”.

Ais Dot Cork born disco enthusiast who got sick of lighting up the party in front of the decks and decided to spin some behind , she is now living in Vancouver

Aoife Conway Former Glitter and Trauma resident in the Pav with Eoghan Walsh, Aoife now helps run things at the Rising Sons bar on the coal quay

Elaine Mai Irish singer, producer and musician who has also written music for a play by Vickey Curtis, Elaine is well respected electronic artist who has a number of good releases at this stage

Tamara Hall Limerick DJ/Producer signed to Plasmapool, Tamara has just released a new single called “Bassline62”

Sinead Meaney

An audio visual artist, DJ and creative producer from Dublin, Sinead has been very busy over a really wide range of disciplines (via Laura Lolz)

Rosie Barrett  Roise used to run Assquake, and is a highly respected DJ who can cut up anything from Hip-hop to kuduro (via Laura lolz and Executive steve)

Staxx Lyrical Dublin Digital radio DJ bringing the underground hip-hop to your eardrums (via Laura Lolz)

DreamCycles Jenn Moore, an Irish women who tells This Greedy Pig that her experience at the Red Bull Music academy in Montreal gave her the confidence to pursue music further, Jenn is also on DDR

Cáit Cait is involved with Dip and spins on Raidio na Life. She features in This Greedy Pig article and has an impressive visual portfolio on her site too. She helped organise “Room for Rebellion” in aid of the Repealing the 8th in Wigmam (further info via This Greedy Pig)

Cailín Waterford native Cailin Power spins techno for the likes of District 8 and Subject (via This Greedy Pig)

Sarah Mooney Resident at PLT (Peace Love Techno) and instigator of a new collective called Groundwerk. (via Ciara Brady)

Maggie -Rose Brennock Another great DJ, who is part of the Empty Space collective in Dublin, who who run late night events combining visual arts, music and attendees to create a unique atmosphere. (via Ciara Brady)

Alex Donald Acclaimed party DJ who has played numerous venues and festivals here and abroad. Alex comes from a breakbeat background which has given her a nice platform to mix up everything from house and electro to hip-hop and pop

Tiffany Depuis

Another DJ who spins in Cork, Tiffany pays Tip-top above the Bowery

Sinead ni Mhordha I don’t know much about Sinead but she is a DJ/radio presenter/TV presenter and more (via Tony Clayton Lea)

Americhord Maura O'boyle aka Americhord, released a number of stellar records on pioneering  D1 records label, her catalogue is outstanding. (info via Liz Rooney)

Jenn Gannon Lime and fancy DJ at a night which sounds amazing, “the most glorious of 80s pop perfection mixed with your faves from the early 90s & a slice of Italo Disco, all served beneath the palms with a cute cocktail umbrella” (thanks Aoife barry for the heads up)

Bitch Blackheart EimearAnn o’Sullivan is a really exciting young producer and musician from Cork, producing everything from hip-hop to electronica, watch this space!

Sarah Beth Cork singer songwriter and occasional partner in crime with Bitch Blackheart, Sarah Beth is another of my favourite young artists here

Rebecca Meagher Cork DJ who span here regularly, Rebecca was also an accomplished singer and she appeared on Fish go Deeps “Let’s go Back” track on Chez Records

Sarah Lennox  Tech-house spinner who plays regularly in Dublin and who has spun in Ministry of Sound, Sankeys, Eden and EGG. Sarah also produces and has tracks signed to 69Street and a new EP on the Playground label

Ciara Known to many by her twitter moniker of @Ciara_BK, Ciara is a published writer from the midlands who spearheads the Unoriginal Podcast with two afro-irish friends, an important platform for emerging acts such as NC Grey and Rocstrong

Gretta Gunn Electro-pop singer and producer with releases on Alphabet Set and Norwegian skweee label Dodpop. (via Sixfoot Apprentice)

Niamh DeBarra Singer and producer with awesome cello / synth / loop pedal setup for live shows. (via Sixfoot Apprentice)

Bluebottle Farm producer who had a great EP of ambient / experimental / IDM stuff on Acroplane records. (via Sixfoot Apprentice)

Ilex Electronica producer formerly known as Fringe (and Minge for the more housey productions) (via Sixfoot Apprentice)

Laura Sheeran - How did I forget her first time out? Amazing CV of work some some total legends in various genres. Also one half of Nanu Nanu. (via Sixfoot Apprentice)

Kazabon DJ now based in London playing with the brilliant Hipsters Don't Dance night (via Sixfoot Apprentice)

Zoe Clubs, Festivals and radio, Zoe has done it all over a long career. Zoe is also a dancer who brings a serious performance element to her shows!

Ciara Harrington Currently down in Australia, Ciara used run nights in Dublin including We are Electronic playing wavey Italo Type stuff (via Laura Lolz)

Kerrie Anderson Manchester based Cork woman grew up on deep house in Sir henrys, and has played some high profile shows in the UK with Prosumer, DJ QU, Young Male, DJ Richard, Tama Sumo, Fish Go Deep and Marcellus Pittman among others

Elinor o’donovan Operating out of Edinburgh, Corks Elinor o’Donovan presents Lemonade on FreshAir.org.uk, provinding us with a mixture of new and old skool jams

DJ Beep Beep 

Beep Beep plays a mix of rock and rockabilly music held a residence of 11years on a Sunday night at Dublin's Dice Bar ... all round cool kitty . (via Dandelion Sergeant)

Aoife Bauer

A regular Dublin DJ playing Soul Fusion in April (via Niall Comiskey

Polly m Love 

Another DJ who has been around for a long time and Polly promotes shows too (via Niall Comiskey)

Geraldine Fahey 

Geraldine is a regular DJ in Dublin and Kilkenny were she runs her own nights. (via Niall Comiskey)

Angie Sheehan 

Angie has her own night and is a regular at the Saturday Socials in Dublin. (via Niall Comiskey)

NOTE:

Executive Stevie has been very helpful in highlighting many of those who may not be so well known. He tells me about some more women at the controls; "Studio B didn't DJ, but herself and another woman Beatnik ran a night called Studio B that was pretty highly regarded back in the day. Jenni Junglist has been plugging away doing Jungle gigs in Dublin for a few years now. Nicky Halliday and Rosie Loopz are both still playing out, and K.Ska is one of the better Jungle DJ's in the country but she has taken a bit of a break from playing out what with having a young child. Debbie Happe, who used to hammer out the techno at Joe McGrath's nights in about the 2000 era. Liz Meade was a Power FM stalwart back around then too"

[datesfordummies]

Just because 1-65 you don't need to do them all if you don't want to

challenge accepted.

but just remember, you asked for it.

1: Do you have a crush at the moment?

yeahhhh #mountainman

2: Have you ever been deeply in love?

not romantically but i do have a crazy deep amount of love for my friends and dog. does that count?

3: Longest relationship you’ve ever been in?

3 months

4: Have you ever changed for someone?

I think I’ve gone along with things that I wasn’t totally a fan of for someone. Also, I’ve tried new things to impress someone else but lucky me I ended up liking those new things a lot

5: How is your relationship with your ex?

My last actually ex, we don’t talk. My most recent thing tho was a summer fling and we’re still friends!

6: Have you ever been cheated on?

not that I know of…

7: Have you ever cheated?

nope!

8: Would you date someone who’s well known for cheating?

probably not. like i’d have to really really really like them and know that they really really really liked me

9: What’s the most important part of a relationship?

being happy with each other

10: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?

serious relationships. flings are just consolation prizes when college and summer camps and other such things limit the time together.

11: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on “breaks”?

not really. unless maybe i would get it for like temporary long distance, ya know? like when we are in college we date, when we go home for holidays we go on a break. but idk, i’d have to trust them.

12: How many people have you ever hooked up with?

just 1 :)

13: What’s one thing you regret saying/doing in a previous relationship?

my first boyfriend i know nothing about. all we did was makeout and he was very pro-pda and i was not but i was not yet pro-speaking up for myself sooo i kinda got a reputation from that relationship that followed me all the way thru high school

14: What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex?

i don’t know that there’s an age. like teens at least. but, when you are mature enough to talk about it with the actual sex words like penis and vagina without getting squeemish then you’re ready

15: Do you believe in the phrase “age is just a number”?

yeahhh #mountainman #14years…oops

16: Do you believe in “love at first sight”?

nahhh, but lust yes

17: Do you believe it’s possible to fall in love on the internet?

yeah! love is 1. a choice 2. an emotions thing and emotions can be conveyed thru the internet (also god bless skype y’all)18: What do you consider a deal breaker?

mean to strangers and like employees/ wait staff. like just don’t be an asshole.

19: How do you know it’s time to end a relationship?

i don’t have a set rule…i can just kinda sense a shift in the energy between us. is that too hippy-dippy bullshit of an answer??

20: Are you currently in a relationship?

nahhh #lookinatyamountainman

21: Do you think people who have dated can stay friends?

of course! i don’t see why not, given it was a mutual split. after sometime, come back and be buddies!

22: Do you think people should date their friends?

if they like their friends then yeahhh

23: How many relationships have you had?

really real relationships? 1

24: Do you think love can last forever?

since i strongly believe we choose to love people then yes, if you care enough to stick it out

25: Do you believe love can conquer all things?

i don’t see why not?

26: Would you break up with someone your parents didn’t approve of?

nahhhh

27: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be?

communicate ya feelins!!!!28: Do you think long distance relationships can work?

yeahhh, it takes work but if they’re worth it then yeahhhhhhhh

29: What do you notice first about another person?

hair usually

30: Are you straight, bi, gay or pansexual?

straight

31: Would it bother you if your partner suffered from any mental illness?

nahhh

32: Have you ever been in an abusive relationship?

not romantically?

33: Do you want to get married one day?

it’s not a goal of mine. like i’m happy if i never do. i’m happy if i love someone enough and it feels right and i do.

34: What do you think about getting your partner’s name tattooed?

noooo don’t do itttt like love can last forever, but it could end in an unforseen break up sooo yeahhh nahhhh

tips from mountain man: only get name tattoos of your own kids or dead relatives.

35: Could you be in a relationship without sex?

yeahhh my sex drive is low af actually

36: Are you still a virgin?

depends on your definiton of sex. like i say i’m not bc i’ve recived oral but i’ve never even touched another person’s genitalia actually ((is this oversharing??))

37: What’s more important: Looks or personality?

personality!! i feel people start to look like how they act the more you get to know them

38: Do you enjoy love films?

yessss. my favorite is An American in Paris

39: Have you ever given anyone/received roses?

i got a rose today from my friend! and sometimes i get them after plays that i’m in from my wonderful fam and buddies. and i have also given them to my buddies. never romantically tho.

40: Have you ever had a valentine?

nahhhh

41: What’s your imagination of a “perfect date”?

we take our dogs to the dog park (bc they’d have a dog let’s be real) then get tacos and smoothies and sit somewhere to watch the sunset

42: Have you ever read “Romeo & Juliet”?

yeahhhh #hamletisbetter43: What’s more important: Your partner or your friends?

friends are ride or die so…yeahhhh

44: Would you consider yourself “romantic”?

i can be. i mean, you’ve all seen my blog sooo

45: Could you imagine to date one of your current friends?

my close friends no but like one of my side friends maybeee, i had a fling with one of them so yeahhh i would date him.

46: Have you ever been “friendzoned”?

yeahhh but he’s like my dad now

just to clarify: not my actual dad. he’s just the dad of our friend group so we call him that.

47: Which “famous couple” is your favorite?

if the obamas don’t count then i’m not participating.

48: What’s your favorite love song?

That’s All by Nat King Cole i think

49: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

yeahhhh i still feel guilty to this day

50: If you’re single, why do you think you are?

i keep comparing everyone i meet to a wonderful man who probably sees me as like a child #mountainadult

51: Would you rather date someone who’s rich but a douchebag or someone who’s poor but a nice guy?

poor and a nice guy

52: Are you good at giving other people advices regarding dating/ relationships?

nahhh the absolute worst, right guys???

53: Are you jealous of couples when you’re single?

only when they’re like super duper cute like my friend’s bf just posted this really great pic of her on insta and said ‘just an appreciation post bc i’ve never been so happy’ and like when will i ever??

54: How important is it to make a relationship official (p.e. on facebook)?

not that important. like make it official in ur hearts don’t worry about fb.

55: Would you consider yourself “clingy”, “overly attached” or “jealous”?

i don’t think so?

56: Have you ever “destroyed” a relationship?

no?

57: Do you think it’s silly to consider suicide because of a broken heart?

i won’t say silly but also don’t do it because i love you and that’s just one of sooooo many eligible people who would love ya wayyy better

58: Are you the “dominant” or the “submissive” part in a relationship?

i like balance but i’m probably more sub by nature like i’m super passive and like follow other’s flow

59: Have you ever forgotten important dates like your partner’s birthday or your anniversary?

i ALMOST forgot a birthday and ended up making brownies at like 3am the night before

60: What’s your opinion on open relationships?

not for me but if it’s your thang and your partner is down then go for it!

61: Who’s more important: Your partner or your family?

welll family is the og ride or die

62: How do you define “cheating”?

physically being/ go on a date with or attempting to be with another person when you are committed to someone else

63: Is watching porn while being in a relationship inappropriate?

nahhh

64: Do you think Valentine’s Day is overrated?

nahhh, i’ve made it my self love day (although that’s kinda everyday for me)

65: Would you consider yourself a “cuddler”?

i used to hate it but it’s actually my job now like i go to people’s homes and cuddle with them as a form of therapy so yeahhh

thanks for asking and ya the real mvp if you read all of those!

anyone who wants to answer all or some do it! and tag me so i can know all of your secrets!

[glitteryyouthstudentworld]

Being freelance with the addition of having my own blog allows me to write articles like this. Not only am I able to share someone’s remarkable journey, the someone is a colleague, business associate – all will be revealed – and someone, who, along with his good wife Maria, are more like family to me and mine.

Alan Gunner Lindbloom has been someone who I have been modelling my own recent behaviour and attitude on. He has been an incredible source of inspiration to me and always at the end of the phone when I need advice, guidance or a kick up the proverbial. It is an absolute honour (with a U) to be able to share Alan’s story with you. You are in for a treat, as Alan and I discuss things past, present and future. But before we look at current events, Alan Gunner Lindbloom, what’s your story?

A – I’m half-Sicilian on my mother’s side, and I was born into a very secretive Detroit Mafia Family. My grandfather, Peter Tocco – the older cousin of Giacomo “Black Jack” Tocco, the Boss of Bosses – was the unofficial consigliere of the entire Detroit Mafia.  At around age 14, my uncle began introducing me to a life of crime. We can come back to this later, but I have written a series about my life for NCS. This link contains a brief video about my life.

The Mafia writer: How a man wrote his way out of a life of crime.

D – WOW! That’s certainly one way to kick off an interview. I know that you are no longer a part of the Italian-American Mafia, so what made you stop?

A – Eventually, at age 29, I was sentenced to 13-50 years in prison for extortion, armed robbery, bank robbery, and weapons violations. But in prison, I found my calling as a writer.

D – Which, in a way, is how we started to be in contact. Writing also became my passion in prison. Although, unlike you I’m yet to write my first book. How many books did you write overall in prison?

A – Well, when I finally walked out of prison 30 months ago, I had nine completed novels of varying genres.

D – Nine? Wow. What time did you end up serving?

A – I was released after serving 13 years. But in prison, I found my calling as a writer. I knew I had a special gift–a very vivid imagination and the ability to create complex stories. I was a huge reader, yet I often found myself thinking that I could write better books than the ones I was reading. So, I began to write and didn’t stop for 13 years. It became my mistress, my pacifier, my great escape. 

D – I know your writing also achieved something else you weren’t expecting, we’ll come back to that later. Did you get any of your books published during your sentence?

A – I did publish but only once I was released. I first chose to self-publish my Mafia novels, TO BE A KING, mainly because I figured I could leverage my past to propel my future. 

D – And why not? Is the Mafia genre well supported?

A – Definitely. Just on social media, there are dozens of VERY large Mafia fan groups that have hundreds of thousands of faithful followers, and my books have made me world famous in them.

D – We were admin together on a few, so I can confirm that to be true, as well as everything else. Tell us a bit more about TO BE A KING.

A – My grandfather, who was also the inspiration for the character “Don Falcone” in my books, in my teens, saw that I wasn’t destined for college or some professional career, so he began putting me to work for his “goombadis” in the Family. I eventually became his driver and bodyguard. We were constantly dodging FBI tails, bugs, and surveillance.

D – You must have seen some stuff, no doubt most you can’t talk about?

A – HAHA!.. I would join him on “sit-downs,” often over penny poker games with powerful men that included everyone from clergymen to professional athletes, to high ranking politicians and other mob bosses. I’d listen to them talk for hours. And the things I heard would blow your mind. Some of it I can never repeat, but I gleaned a wealth of information that would later spark my imagination while writing my novels.  

D – In what way?

A – Having a fly-on-the-wall view of how the Mafia works has resulted in a unique authenticity in my writing. I honestly believe the reason there hasn’t been a great Mafia story told since The Godfather is because very, very few individuals can authentically write this genre. Puzo admitted that he didn’t know any Mafiosi personally, but he did know a lot of guys from his neighborhood who did. His imagination did the rest. That is the difference between me and Puzo, or any other writer who attempts to write the Mafia genre.

D – Your experience of ‘The Life’ you mean?

A – Yeah! I lived that life, which made writing this story easy. I’ve seen and heard things that not even the most creative or tenured writer could contrive. I worked for some of the most iconic mob figures in American history. For example, Tony Giacolone (suspected of killing Jimmy Hoffa, and played by Armand Assante in the movie Hoffa) gave me the nickname “Pazzu Lupara,” which translates to “Crazy Gunner.” He gave me that nickname after he caught me scabbing his poker players for my own games. This was a very dangerous risk for me. If I wasn’t a Tocco, I may have come up missing for it. I mean, he was a man the FBI suspected of over 40 murders and/or disappearances, including Jimmy Hoffa! My Great Uncle Jack Tocco was the longest reigning mob boss in U.S. history. I was exposed to things that the average person (and not the average writer), could never be privy to.

Alan on FOX TV promoting ‘To Be A King’

D – Let’s give the readers a sample of ‘To Be A KING’.

A – Done.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/BE-KING-Gunner-Lindbloom-ebook/dp/B01N6RQ3AE/ref=sr_1_1?_encoding=UTF8&keywords=TO+BE+A+KING%3A+Volume+1&qid=1562665822&s=digital-text&sr=1-1

  D – This is one of my favourite pictures of you and your amazing wife, Maria, and I said earlier your writing also achieved something else you weren’t expecting, explain please, lol.

A – Maria is the best. Five years into my sentence, a cousin of mine had set up a Facebook account to highlight the books I had been writing and so that friends and old classmates could get in contact. Maria had been on Facebook and saw the profile, we had also been classmates. Maria had previously worked for Amazon Publishing and was an avid reader, so she wrote to me. We wrote back and forth. I think it was when Maria read ‘To Be A King’ that she knew, not only was she in the possession of a best seller, but that she wanted to be with me. After 6 months, we fell madly in love with each other. That was 2010. 6 more years Maria waited. Within 24 hours of receiving my parole in 2016, Maria and I were married.

 D – WOW! Again, I love that story. I wonder who will play you both when the inevitable film about your life comes out.?

Staying in the past for a moment longer, you mentioned earlier about a series you have written for NCS. I share the links to my NCS articles here on my blog, although I’ve still to upload some. However, what series have you written and, who are NCS?

A – As you said we both write for NCS who are: National Crime Syndicate; known as the “Ivy League” of Mafia journalism and as the largest Mafia history website in the world. The on-going series I am writing are “The Lindbloom Chronicles” an ongoing series of short stories about my life growing up in in a Mafia Family. They have been read over 2 million times. Currently, a producer out of Atlanta is making them into a TV pilot. Click on these links for the Lindbloom Chronicles and NCS.

The Lindbloom Chronicles

National Crime Syndicate

A – We may as well share our Author pages.

D – Great idea.

Alan Gunner Lindbloom

David Breakspear

D – I’ll drop in the interview you had with our ‘Boss‘, Craig, at NCS.

Interview with Alan Lindbloom: Former ‘Detroit Partnership’ enforcer.

D – I mentioned in the introduction about us being business associates, I am of course talking about your company ‘Our Thing Apparel’, easy question, how did ‘Our Thing Apparel’ come about.

A – When I was creating a small run of promotional sweatshirts for ‘TO BE A KING’, I used the term “Our Thing” (which as you know is the English translation of Cosa Nostra) on the back. But when pictures of William Usher (business partner) and me started appearing on Facebook wearing the “OUR THING” hoodies, we became inundated with requests from people who wanted an “OUR THING” hoodie of their own. Thus, the brand was born. Not everyone knows what “OUR THING” means, but those who do, know it’s a euphemism for the Mafia, a secret society of gangsters that spans the entire globe. Wearing “OUR THING” may not make you a member of the Mafia, but it will make you part of an elite brotherhood that isn’t afraid to channel their inner gangster.

D – The ‘Our Thing’ clothing I have is top quality, but both you and I are bound to say that, one thing that I really respect and admire about you is how much time you have for your fans on social media. I love the fact that on the ‘Our Thing’ website there’s a picture gallery dedicated to your fans.

A – Yeah dude, the gallery page is an awesome addition to the website. You’re on there, once or twice hahaha!

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D – hahahaha! I love the support that you get, especially with ‘Our Thing’. The GodToddler and her family have become like family to me, as I know they have with you.

A – They are an awesome family who, yes indeed, have become like a family to us all at ‘Our Thing’, a big MASSIVE shout-out to the GodToddler and la famiglia, always reppin’ the ‘Our Thing’ look, which is the essence of ‘Our Thing’.

D – Here’s a few pics of the GodToddler making a rare, hmm! lol, appearance reppin ‘Our Thing’ apparel, as usual! (A – hahahahahaha!)

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D – I think we should just share the link to the website, so people don’t have to take our word for it and can see for themselves. We would be here all day otherwise.

Below is the link for the photo gallery:

“OUR THING” APPAREL: PHOTO GALLERY.

  D – So, where we up to now? We’ve covered ‘To Be A King’, ‘National Crime Syndicate’, ‘Lindbloom Chronicles’ and ‘Our Thing’. What’s next? I know, and it starts tomorrow.

D – ‘Festa Italiana’. The poster kind of tells all, and I know that you have a stall again this year. Excited?

A – Very excited. A lot of hard work goes in to be ready each year, especially with all the other projects I have going on but getting out there and meeting my fans means a lot to me, and if I can do a little business along the way, then even better. Here’s a few pics from last year, can’t wait to get you out here D.

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D – We can sort that when we are all in the villa in Sicily. I can’t wait to come out to America, if only to go fishing with you. We have hardly touched the surface in relation to all the projects you have got going on. Here’s an idea, why don’t we stop now and we can talk again after the festival, share some pictures along with a few more stories plus we can talk about the upcoming charity ball in September. Thank you so much for taking time out of your mad busy schedule and good luck at the festival brother, love to Maria and speak soon.

A – Thanks dude, yeah! Great idea. I need to get going anyway, so much to still get ready for tomorrow. Looking forward to letting you know how it has all gone. Take care and chat soon. Alan.

#OurThingCanBeYourThing

"My grandfather, Peter Tocco - the older cousin of Giacomo "Black Jack" Tocco, the Boss of Bosses - was the unofficial consigliere of the entire Detroit Mafia." What’s your story? Being freelance with the addition of having my own blog allows me to write articles like this.

[junker-town]

Let’s replay 25 classic football games with ‘ESPN NFL 2K5’

Classics on classics on classics on classics.

A long, long time ago in 2004, the sports gaming world welcomed a classic.

ESPN NFL 2K5 was released, and football gaming fans have cherished the game for well over a decade. From the cool game modes like First-Person Football that allowed you to view the game from a player’s helmet to the ability to get a phone call from Carmen Electra challenging you to play against her in football, the gameplay, announcing, and ESPN integration made this a complete video game.

One of my favorite game modes was ESPN’s 25th Anniversary. To celebrate, ESPN took 25 scenarios from classic games and turned them into replayable levels so that we could have both a challenge and learn some NFL history in the process.

I decided to play all 25 levels and try to defeat them all without cheating to analyze how difficult each one is. My esteemed colleagues have also decided to chip in with their personal recollections of each game. We also talked with fans about what the classic football moments meant to them.

So for the younger crowd, sit back and learn some NFL history, and for those who do remember these games, feel free to comment on your personal experiences!

Classic name: The Ice Bowl

Teams: Dallas Cowboys vs. Green Bay Packers

Video:

Play as: Packers

Difficulty: Easy

Luckily, you get to replay one of the coldest football games ever from the comfort of your humble abode. You have a lot of time to complete the drive and win the game. You shouldn't be in a rush to finish this one.

Staff notes:

Go to any neighborhood Wisconsin bar on a Sunday, and you’ll find at least one old man or woman, body pickled by decades of Korbel brandy, who will bring up the Ice Bowl without provocation during that week’s Packers game. Few games hold the combination of Green Bay victory and hometown pride over the elements like this 50-year-old win against the Cowboys.

When you listen to the stories, you’ll assume some of the details have been exaggerated (“It was 35 below! Tom Landry’s thumb snapped off!”), but you can’t really know for sure. - Christian D’Andrea, SB Nation

I saw it live in living color on CBS. I can't remember much at all about the Ice Bowl, except the way it ended with the Cowboys' defenders slipping on the frozen surface as the Packers scored the winning points. But I do very clearly remember what it meant to Cowboys fans. Although they didn't win the game, getting there was sort of a coming out, and taking Green Bay to the end of the game proved that this expansion team from Texas belonged with the original franchises.

Don't forget: This was just four years after the Kennedy assassination in Dallas, and the city and region were still recovering from the stigma of that horrific day. For many, this was a turning point, not just for a young sports franchise, but for the self respect of a whole city. It was just one of many steps in recovering, but it was an important one. And it was the beginning of the Landry run of playoff success. On that day, in truth, the Dallas Cowboys came of age, even in a loss. - Tom Ryle, Blogging the Boys.

I watched it, but that is so long ago the only thing I remember is what has been shown on replays over the years! Sneaking in on fourth-and-1 having failed three times and with the game on the line was a gutsy call by Vince Lombardi and a heartbreaker for Bob Lilly and the Dallas Cowboys. Can't win the big one was the slogan that attached to the team until they destroyed Miami in Super Bowl V, when Lilly finally got to smoke his victory cigar.

I always know how long I've been following the Cowboys, because it started with those first two Super Bowl years and the NFL Championship showdowns with Green Bay. That rivalry is still going strong. - VAfan, Dallas Cowboys fan

Classic name: The Heidi Bowl

Teams: Jets @ Raiders

Video:

Play as: Raiders

Difficulty: Medium

You have a choice to either tie with the field goal or go for the win. It's your choice. This level isn’t hard, but it isn’t a walk in the park either. If you play your cards right, you won’t have any trouble completing this level.

Staff notes:

Just a few weeks later, these teams played another classic as the Jets got revenge in the AFL Championship Game. That game also was not shown live in New York. It’s amazing how much great football local fans didn’t see between these teams in 1968. - John Butchko, Gang Green Nation

Classic name: Merry Christmas Miami

Teams: Dolphins @ Chiefs

Video:

Play as: Dolphins

Difficulty: Easy

You start off receiving the ball with a seven-point deficit in the fourth quarter. You should have no trouble winning this game. You have Dan Marino. You can do this.

If you tie and go to OT it's sudden death and not the new Iftheykickafieldgoaltheotherteamhasachancetokickthefieldgoal rule.

Staff notes:

Ed Podolak’s 350 all-purpose yards, which was a postseason record, was all for naught. It’s incredible this game still stands all these years later as the longest game in NFL history. -Joel Thorman, Arrowhead Pride

Classic name: The Immaculate Reception

Teams: Raiders vs. Steelers

Video:

Play as: Steelers

Difficulty: Super Difficult

This is truly a miracle when you think about it. You have no timeouts and 22 seconds to get in either field goal range or score a touchdown. You have Terry Bradshaw running things and solid receivers on both sides, so you're not completely out of luck. But you're going to have to be smart about how you do this or you will be here for a while.

If you are lucky enough to make it into field goal range, keep calm; don’t let the wind distract you and make the field goal.

I said MAKE the field goal.

Dude.

That’s better.

Staff notes:

In Pittsburgh’s first-ever playoff victory, it took every second for the game to get the job done. In what has become the greatest, and possibly most famous, play in NFL history, there is a reason Franco Harris has a statue of this play at the Pittsburgh International Airport. Everyone remembers Bradshaw scrambling, throwing over the middle, the debate of Frenchy Fuqua potentially making first contact with the pass, and as the ball careened to Harris, the rest is history. - Jeff Hartman, Behind the Steel Curtain

Classic name: The Sea of Hands

Teams: Dolphins @ Raiders

Video:

Play as: Raiders

Difficulty: Easy

You have no timeouts left, but you do start inside the Dolphins 10-yard line and have the full playlist at your disposal. You'll be fine; this isn't that hard of a level.

Score the TD, then do your dance.

Classic name: The Final Comeback

Teams: Washington @ Cowboys

VIDEO:

Play as: Cowboys

Difficulty: Hard, but not impossible

This one is difficult because of the time restraint, but you have a QB with a rocket arm and some WEAPONS.

If you score quick enough then you don't have to use an onside kick. You have a fast punt returner that can make some plays. The second drive is less stressful in my opinion because you know that you only have to score one more time.

Staff notes:

After Washington had demolished the Cowboys a month earlier, this was the sweetest revenge for Cowboys fans. We won the NFC East and helped knock them out of the playoffs. Unbridled joy! Bonus satisfaction as Harvey Martin threw a funeral wreath into Washington’s locker room after the game, a wreath that had been sent to the Cowboys facility earlier in the week, supposedly from a Washington backer. - Dave Halprin, Blogging the Boys

Classic name: The Aints Biggest Choke

Teams: Saints @ 49ers

VIDEO:

Play as: 49ers

Difficulty: Pretty Damn Hard

This is one of the more challenging games on the spectrum, and this comeback is hard to pull off because instead of 15-minute quarters you get five-minute quarters. You might feel the need to get creative with this one.

Notes:

A couple things about that time period. The bagheads were like the worst team in football, where we had been the second worst. We had pretty much sucked for five seasons, where the bagheads had sucked since entering the league. They had some very good players on offense, but nothing on defense, and they had a terrible head coach.

Since inserting the young QB as starter a handful of games before, you could see little flashes giving some hope. This was another, where we put things together in the second half, great TD from Dwight Clark, another from Freddie Solomon. It was kind of like, yeah that was great, a win’s a win, but it’s still the bagheads. - az9rfan

Classic name: Longest Playoff Game Ever

Teams: Chargers @ Dolphins

VIDEO:

Play as: Chargers

Difficulty: Easy

Unlike the other levels where you have to come from behind to win, you're given a 24-point lead in this challenge. If you somehow blow this lead, you should stop playing and sell your console. Your quarterback and halfback are both a 90+ rating. This is all you.

Staff notes:

Arguably the most entertaining NFL game ever played. Air Coryell at the height of its glory. Longtime backup QB Don Strock comes off the bench for MIA, trailing 24-0 in the first half, and rallies MIA to 24-17 at halftime on a hook and ladder. By the fourth MIA has a 38-31 lead. HOF QB Dan Fouts leads a late TD drive, followed by a blocked MIA FG attempt to force overtime.

In OT, Rolf Benirschke misses a chip-shot FG, and MIA has a second FG blocked. Benirschke gets a chance at redemption and doesn’t miss. HOF Kellen Winslow catches 13 for 166, a TD, a blocked FG, and is cramping in the heat so badly he has to be carried off the field. - Jeffrey Siniard, Bolts from The Blue

Classic name: The Catch

Teams: Cowboys vs 49ers

Video:

Play as: 49ers

Difficulty: Easy unless your defense is trash.

You have two plays to score with a great QB (Joe Montana) and a solid wide receiver core, and you only need 6 yards. There are way harder levels to play in this game. You don't have any timeouts, but that shouldn't be a problem. If you score quickly you have to worry about the Cowboys’ comeback because all they have to do is get into field goal range. I'd suggest shaving some time off the clock with a run play if you're not good at defense.

Notes:

If you had watched the team all year, this wasn’t terribly anti-climatic. Our defense was awesome, offense was good and made plays when they needed to. I was at home, watching with my youngest son who was 10 at the time. My wife at the time had bought him a Cowboys jacket in ‘76, and after they won in ’77, there was no turning him back. So this was gonna be good. Game see-sawed, which gave us both opportunities to rub it in. They score late in the fourth to take a 6-point lead, he’s jumping and screaming all over the place, game over, crap like that.

Still over three minutes left, I tell him, "we got ’em right where we want ’em." Joe marches ‘em down the field, Dwight Clark makes the catch, I go nuts. He gets up, runs to his room, slams the door. I’m like, “wait a minute, it’s not over yet.” He’s not hearing it, in his bed with pillow over his head shedding a few little tears. I try to offer a little comfort/hope, but I gotta go see the rest of this. In the melee after the game, what I remember most was Lawrence Pillers making mud angels on the sideline.

The thing is, very few people can fathom how atrocious this team had been for a very long time prior to ‘81. The field was cement with patches, ugly as sin. The team played down to that level on a routine basis. ’81 was like rising up out of a sewer we’d been in for years, and finally breathing fresh air.

And it wasn’t due to some No. 1 overall pick magic bean QB, or magic bean WR. It was a stud defense that came together in one year, a bunch of guys on offense that could execute a scheme together. Out of those players that had been not much the year before, turned into three pro bowlers on offense, 2 first team all pro’s and three pro bowlers on defense. it was a great time. - az9rfan

Classic name: Greatest Washington Comeback

Teams: Raiders vs. Washington

VIDEO:

Play as: Washington

Difficulty: Super hard

This comeback is a tough one. You start on your own 13 down not 14 points, but 15. As with most of these levels here, the offensive line seems to not care about the health and well-being of the quarterback or running back. It's literally like that time in the Adam Sandler version of The Longest Yard where they stop blocking for him.

You're going to have to go for two at least once. (Twice if you're daring.) You're given two good wide receivers, but since this game gets drop happy you can't just expect them to make these outstanding plays for you all of the time ... or even get them the ball.

Classic name: The Drive

Teams: Broncos vs. Browns

VIDEO:

Play as: Broncos

Difficulty: Medium

This one is in the middle of the spectrum due to Jon Elway's ability to scramble. We all know that in video games, scrambling quarterbacks are king, and Elway gives you that added element that makes this level easier than some of the other ones that involve a drive. You have the option to play for the tie, but if you're like me and you listen to the bad coach conscience, you go for the win right there.

I'd be a terrible coach.

Staff notes:

Remember when beating the Browns was considered an accomplishment? Like half of John Elway’s legacy is based on this one fact, which feels somehow dirty today. - Christian D’Andrea, SB Nation

Many kids turned Broncomaniacs this day. I was one of them. I was too young to care too much about football when there were G.I. Joe’s to play with, but when there are a dozen adults in the room going crazy with each play, I began to watch. I saw The Drive. And then saw every Broncos game I could ever since. - Tim Lynch, Mile High Report

I saw this request and said “Fuck that, I'm not reliving that shit pile of a game where some horse-toothed bastard goes down the field.” - Matt Wood, Dawgs by Nature

Classic name: The 2-second miscalculation

Teams: 49ers vs. Bengals

Play as: 49ers

Difficulty: Fairly easy, but it may take you a few tries.

As hilariously sad as this level is in real life, it's going to take you a couple of tries in this game. It's not like you have an all-time QB-receiver combination at your disposal.

Oh shit, it's Jerry Rice and a store-brand Joe Montana. How convenient.

While Rice being on the team is a big help, I actually found A to be open more often. If you do plan on only targeting Rice (and I don't blame you), make sure you figure out where he is on the field before you snap the ball. He pops up in different places depending on the play call.

Classic name: Same old Bucs

Teams: Bucs vs. Cardinals

Play as: Cardinals

Difficulty: F**cking impossible

You want me to score 26 points in five minutes? This is just hell. Forget about not letting the Bucs offense score, because this is about not even letting the Bucs offense take the field because you don't have time for it. I'm not going to lie. I threw my controller a couple of times back then. Softly because of the controller was on a cord.

If anyone ever told me in person that they beat this level not on rookie and not with the penalties turned off (you ain't slick) I still wouldn't believe you. Your QB is 92 over. That's cool. YOU'RE STILL DOWN 25 IN THE FOURTH QUARTER. You have to be an absolute deity at onside kicking to get the ball over and over again with the time limit that you're given. I totally understand if you still haven't. You have to average five points a minute just to tie the game. I don't blame you fam.

Staff notes:

NFC South teams and 28-3 leads, amirite folks? - Christian D’Andrea, SB Nation

In many ways that Nov. 8 in St. Louis was a microcosm of what it meant to be a Bucs during the Ray Perkins era. The Bucs had lured Ray Perkins to replace the atrocious Leeman Bennett after consecutive 2-14 seasons. The Bucs were on the road and that meant the game would be broadcast on local TV, which never happened for lowly attended Bucs home games. To make it better, the team was winning for the first time since 1981: Only the defending champion Bears were ahead in the NFC North, and a playoff spot looked like a real possibility at 4-3. The future looked bright, too, with Vinny Testaverde waiting to take over as the savior of Tampa, and that interception-prone bum Steve Young traded to the 49ers for a second-round pick.

Perkins looked like a genius for three quarters against the Cardinals, exploiting their lack of speed at linebacker. James Wilder and Jeff Smith routinely turned checkdowns into big gains, combining for 130 yards in a 3-yards-and-a-cloud-of-dust era. Quarterback Steve DeBerg danced on the field, Bucs fans like myself danced in front of their TVs, and the Cardinals got agitated. Tampa would enter the fourth quarter up 28-3.

And that’s when life as a Bucs fan in the 1980s happened. Instead of continuing to rely on speed, Perkins tried to outmuscle the Cardinals. Instead of blitzing, they started to play soft, off coverage. Wilder fumbled on an exceptionally obvious running play, and suddenly the Cardinals were down by just 11 points. The Bucs then tried to run out the clock, and instead found themselves down 31-28. DeBerg would give the Bucs one final shot from the 36-yard line, but the wind got into Donald Igwebuike’s kick and it hit the crossbar.

With it fell the Bucs season, as they wouldn’t win another game. Safety Ron Woods criticized his teammates’ effort on defense and was never allowed to suit up again. Perkins turned into the great dictator and would go to spiral out of control, at one point punching a player. He spent the rest of his four seasons in Tampa benching and then unbenching players, losing control at times, and laying blame everywhere but with himself. - William Malzone

Classic name: 49ers do it again

Teams: Bengals @ 49ers

VIDEO:

Play as: 49ers

Difficulty: Easy. You have Jerry Rice.

This is a 92-yard drive, but don't worry because you have GOD MODE JERRY RICE. Seriously you're given Rice. He's given a 100 overall rating. Or use him as a decoy and throw to his other weapons like say the tight end? This is a straightforward one compared to the dream-crushing level I just talked about. How do you blow a 25-point lead in one quarter? ONE QUARTER?! HOW?

Notes:

In retrospect, what seems so foreign these days about the memories of that game was watching them get the ball back with three minutes left inside their own 10-yard line, and yet still knowing — absolutely, unshakeably KNOWING — that they were going to pull it off. I knew it, my dad knew it, everybody else on our living room couch knew it. Uncle Mike knew it, and he had been asleep in the recliner since halftime. Everyone in the stadium knew it (even if half of them weren’t happy about it). Even Sam Wyche knew it.

And that’s what made it such a masterful work of art and so incredible to watch: They just couldn’t stop it. It was like watching a perfectly choreographed dance with just enough drama: Things go well, there’s a setback, then a big teasing false finish to heighten the anticipation, and finally the big finale, which—even though we all knew it was coming—brought forth such an eruption of celebration throughout the Bay Area that we’re fairly certain it prepped the San Andreas fault for Loma Prieta. In the aftermath, my hands were sore from high-fives, my ribs hurt from the hugs and my eyes were stinging from joyful tears, along with a few somber ones after watching Bill Walsh break down in the locker room.

It was incredible, and even after the curbstomping they put on the Broncos the next year, or Steve Young’s masterpiece in 1994, or the "Bummer" comeback, or even The Catch II, the closest I’ve come to how I felt after that play was watching the Vernon Post to beat the Saints, and it still didn’t quite compare. But it was close. - StripedKramer

Classic name: Wide Right

Teams: Bills vs. Giants

VIDEO:

Play as: Bills

Difficulty: If you can kick, you good. Easy.

Just get in field goal range and don't blow it am I right? You're QB/WR/RB core is crazy good ratings wise. You also have three timeouts and the two-minute warning.

Staff notes:

This all-New York Super Bowl is the first I can remember watching in my life. It was a much bigger deal just to be awake at 9:30 that night, but I remember the sense of bewilderment as Scott Norwood’s game-winning kick sailed wide right. No one at my parents’ viewing party had much of a stake in the game, but everything went quiet for those brief seconds the ball flipped toward the uprights — and then everything got louder than ever. - Christian D’Andrea, SB Nation

It was heartbreaking for me as a kid to watch my favorite team lose like that. As the 25th anniversary has come and gone and more people look back on the game, Bill Belichick really did a masterful job as the Giants defensive coordinator, but Buffalo had opportunities they needed to capitalize on. Bills fans chanted and cheered for Scott Norwood when the team returned home. No one blames him for the loss, and those Super Bowl teams are still revered in town. - Matt Warren, Buffalo Rumblings

Classic name: Houston's hearts Ripped out

Teams: Oilers vs. Broncos

Play as: Broncos

Difficulty: Medium

God Mode Elway strikes again. All jokes aside, having a quarterback as good that can scramble as well is a good help. It's a 98-yard drive, but Elway is a good in these classic levels, so you should be OK.

Staff notes:

I became a Broncomaniac during The Drive, but it was The Drive II that I was able to fully appreciate. Converting two fourth downs in the final two minutes in the AFC Divisional Round. It was clutch. It was John Elway. I lost my voice and ran around the house like a crazed boy from Lord of the Flies. - Tim Lynch, Mile High Report

Classic name: The Two TD comeback on KC

Teams: Chiefs vs Broncos

Play as: Broncos

Difficulty: Medium

Compared to the other ones, this is sort of a tame level. However, this is still a challenge. You're given 3:30 and John Elway (again) in the nice orange jerseys.

Staff notes:

No Way Elway! Too bad, Chiefs Kingdom ... Elway is still your King. - Tim Lynch, Mile High Report

Elway is enemy No. 1 in Kansas City. This is one of many, many games in which he broke our hearts. - Joel Thorman, Arrowhead Pride

Classic name: The Biggest Comeback Ever

Teams: Oilers vs. Bills

Play as: Bills

Difficulty: Hard as hell, but not as hard as the ‘Same Ol’ Bucs’ level

This level is already hard, and it's even harder when you realize that they only give you five-minute quarters to do so. You have to be perfect; you can't afford to level the Oilers score again. The more times you try to defeat this level, the more frustrated you are with the real-life Houston Oilers for somehow blowing a 35-3 lead. You are given five-minute quarters. How. This might take you days, weeks or months. This took me a long time to defeat on a respectable difficulty level and because of this I forever hate the Houston Oilers/Tennessee Titans.

Staff notes:

What a classic game for Bills fans, but most people don’t know it was blacked out in Western New York. I didn’t see the game until years later on DVD. I listened to it on the radio like so many fans. It’s still the most well-attended game in Bills history as easily 250,000 people claim to have been there that day to see it with their own eyes. In fact, a large number of fans left the January game to head to the parking lot only to storm the gates and re-enter when the Bills made their own charge. - Matt Warren, Buffalo Rumblings

Classic name: The Heartbreaker

Teams: Broncos vs. Chiefs

Play as: Chiefs

Difficulty: Medium

You start this level returning the kickoff. Your second-string QB has a higher rating than your first-string quarterback. Your running back is impressive, and you have a good receiver followed by other decent options. Unfortunately, you don't have enough time to afford running the ball.

Staff notes:

If I had to pick my favorite Broncos loss of all time, it would be this game. Watching it, it just felt like I was watching something that would be one for the ages. It was special to see Joe Montana and John Elway go up and down the field in an instant classic. - Tim Lynch, Mile High Report

There is an entire generation of Chiefs fans who are fans because Montana came to Kansas City and this is the instant classic everyone thinks of. You can say “Montana Magic” to anyone in Kansas City and they will go right back to this Monday night game. Two Hall of Famers going at it in primetime with a dramatic ending. It doesn’t get any better than that. - Joel Thorman, Arrowhead Pride

Classic name: The Colts’ Collapse

Teams: Colts vs. Bills

Play as: Bills

Difficulty: Medium, but you have time.

Another Bills comeback? Fine. Ugh. This one is in 1997. You're given three quarters to work with, so while you're still in a deep hole, at least you have more time to chip away at the lead, unlike the Bucs-Cardinals one which I'm still mad about. I'm petty and I don't care. Not having to depend on the air attack is always a relief.

Staff notes:

This game is clearly overshadowed in Bills lore by the team’s Wild Card comeback a few years prior. A former player told me head coach Marv Levy’s speech at halftime included a Booker T. Washington quote that rallied the guys; 'Character, not circumstance, defines the person.' Levy was the perfect leader for those teams. - Matt Warren, Buffalo Rumblings

Classic name: The Super Bowl Drive

Teams: Packers vs. Broncos

Play as: Broncos

Difficulty: Not that hard

This is one of the few levels that start out with the game tied. Once again you're given God Mode Elway and you're already on the Green Bay 49. When you do score, you have to stop Brett Favre from getting you back. Simple enough right? Even if Favre does score you still have Elway the God to deliver you from evil.

Staff notes:

Everyone was rooting for Elway to get the monkey off his back and win his first Super Bowl — especially seeing as Favre had earned his the year prior. Watching him helicopter his way to a first-and-goal situation gave the world the iconic Elway highlight we somehow still can’t escape. Do us all a favor on this one and just slide for the first down. - Christian D’Andrea, SB Nation

Growing up in Northern California the late ‘80s and early ‘90s, it was brutal being the only Broncos fan around. So when the Broncos finally won it all, it was a moment that I’ll always cherish as a fan. I still get goosebumps when I watch the game. - Tim Lynch, Mile High Report

It was supposed to be a glorious repeat for the Packers, a hearkening back to their back-to-back wins in Super Bowls I and II. The Green and Gold were dominant most of the year, but just a bit less so than in 1996. The fans — myself included — were overconfident, and it seemed the team thought it was just going to be a walk in the park. Then Terrell Davis and John Elway happened. I can still remember a certain 10-year old sitting on the living room floor in disbelief. - Evan “Tex” Western, Acme Packing Co.

Classic name: A Yard Too Short

Teams: Rams vs. Titans

Play as: Titans

Difficulty: Easy

You have one play to win a Super Bowl for Steve McNair. You score the touchdown ...

and then kick the field goal for the tie ...

SIKE I LIED

Classic name: Vinatieri Strikes again

Teams: Rams vs. Patriots

Play as: Patriots

Difficulty: Medium

We've reached the young Tom Brady era. In this level, you have a chance to use the 86 overall Tom Brady OR the higher-rated Drew Bledsoe, who is the backup because of the Tom Brady origin story. Just get the ball to Vinatieri’s range.

and watch him work!

Staff Notes:

My favorite part of the Patriots final drive is John Madden saying that New England should just play for overtime, and then watching Tom Brady chip his way down the field and into field goal range. When you watch the drive over again, now with 17 years of Tom Brady in our minds, it makes sense. It’s the same Brady that you see come back against the Atlanta Falcons. No fear. No panic. He’s simply a machine. - Rich Hill, Pats Pulpit

Classic name: The Botched Snap

Teams: Giants vs. 49ers

Play as: 49ers

Difficulty: Medium

Not the hardest level in the "How did they blow this lead" category. This is actually a three-possession game if you convert on 3/3 attempts. It's your risk to take, though. You have a Hall of Fame-caliber wide receiver in Terrell Owens and a Jeff Garcia who has scramble capabilities. You have to contain Jeremy Shockey and Tiki Barber, so this is no cakewalk.

Staff notes:

When the 49ers fell behind 38-14 in the third quarter, I decided to get up and walk around our coffee table during the 49ers next drive. I just couldn’t sit there. The 49ers scored a touchdown and converted the two-point conversion. Suffice to say, I walked around the coffee table for the rest of the game. I’m sure my superstition didn’t swing the game, but you can’t prove it didn’t! - David Fucillo, Niners Nation

Classic name: 4th and 26

Teams: Packers vs. Eagles

Video:

Play as: Eagles

Difficulty: Medium unless you get bailed out.

This one looks difficult at face value, but there is a workaround to this level. Yes, a fourth-and-26 is difficult to convert; however, if you can draw a defensive penalty this level gets infinity easier. This level would have earned a harder rating if not for this workaround, but with that being said this is still going to take you a couple of tries either way.

Staff notes:

Fourth-and-26 will live on forever in Philadelphia history. The Eagles simply had no business converting that play. I remember having no faith they could do it. After two straight years of losing in the NFC Championship Game, the Eagles were about to choke again and get bounced at home in the Divisional Round.

But then it happened. Donovan McNabb hit Freddie Mitchell RIGHT at the first-down marker. It couldn’t have been closer. There are even some Eagles players who will privately admit they didn’t think he got it. But he did, and it was glorious. The crazy thing is that Mitchell was a big bust in Philly but he made some of the most memorable plays in franchise history. That was one of them. - Brandon Lee Gowton, Bleeding Green Nation

F****ing 4th and 26. That down and distance still makes Packers fans cringe.

That Packers team had the best offensive line and running back in football, and they blew it. But while most people will remember Freddie Mitchell’s catch to keep that drive alive, I remember two other things vividly. The first was middle linebacker Nick Barnett dropping only about 15 yards deep in zone coverage on that play instead of carrying his coverage to the first-down marker, where he could have been in position to break up the play. The second was the fact that this game went to overtime, and the defense got a three-an-out on the Eagles’ opening possession.

However, on the Packers’ only offensive snap of the extra period, Brett Favre threw a terrible, terrible interception, and Philly put the game away. That game exemplified the biggest problem with Mike Sherman’s tenure as head coach: He couldn’t rein in Favre from making some awful decisions, even when he had one of the league’s best running games at his disposal.” - Evan “Tex” Western, Acme Packing Co.