#( contradicting him is a love language of its own LOL)

[4fter-hours-archive]

Because it was true, she shook her head no as a smile came to her at the the old memory. It seemed so distant now. She had been, not just ready, but excited and waiting to be rid of the man standing before her when she first met him. Had seen him as just a nuisance to tolerate for a moment, a means to an end. Now standing here, she was thinking about how she couldn't imagine her life without him in it. Wondering why she had ever thought she wanted him out of it. ❝ No, you were first, you will always be first, I just can't help it. I always want to win at things. I'll get better at that. ❞ He was after all her uncle, in her eyes, he would always be first.

Her smile turned into a slight frown thinking about him being kicked off a cliff. To think of him hurt like that made that ache blossom again, which she now knew was because she cared, she loved him. She didn’t want him hurt like that ever again. ❝ I trust you. ❞ There was a small sigh in there, while she sometimes didn’t trust herself, she knew there was something, someone, she would never doubt, him. But she also didn't want to wear his patience for her thin either, she wouldn't take anything for granted when it came to him. Not now, not ever. ❝ Yes, ❞ she agreed. ❝ she trusted you the first time to pick her up and bring her up. Maybe she’ll let you pick her up again, I’m telling you! She likes you more than me. ❞ Dolly being able to get along with a new being in her space did seem like a major plus in this whole equation. ❝ Well, I do have two hands, I can still give them both pets. That problem is solved. But a cat is a lot more low maintenance so Dolly would still be taken for walks and played with. ❞ Why was she already trying to find solutions for this as if she was really going to adopt this cat?

Getting comfortable against him, she couldn't help but think about the times when they would share her bed. When her nightmares would win and she couldn’t sleep, and they'd end up here, but not like this. He'd be something to anchor to, remind her that the past wasn't happening again. The smell of his cologne kept her grounded and their conversations kept her from sinking into the silence that her room contained in those hours. Her eyes closed and leaning into his touch, she couldn’t help but chuckle at just how blind she was to everything. He had always meant a lot to her, she just needed to take the long way around before realizing it. ❝ Antares, ❞ She repeated to herself. ❝ We'll see what answers to when we see her. And I can assure you that I can be very unimaginative. I just can't think of a good example right now. ❞

Laying in the comfort of this, of him, of them, something inside of her stirred. She had never been afraid of anything before, running head first into anything and everything all too glad no matter the danger. Sometimes happier at the prospect of it. But this had caused her to hesitate, caused her to question everything she had known and wanted. Her head against his chest, she could hear his heartbeat and felt the way he hummed instead of hearing it. She knew then the real reason she was questioning adopting the cat. It would mean that she was staying in one place for a long time, maybe for good. She was committing in more ways than one to coming back to this place, to have something to depend on her, to come back to.❝ I'm adopting her. ❞ The words were out there before she could think them over, she wasn't going to question them. ❝ Even if she doesn't want to come all the way up, I think I can figure something out with Mai about making a space for her downstairs. ❞ If she was pregnant she would have a comfortable place to spend her days, if she wasn't she would still have a home, either way, it was a win-win. It also wasn't like she was expecting the alley cat to suddenly become a house cat either, it would come and go as it wanted, she would expect nothing of her. She knew better than trying to tame wild things.

❛Does that feel weird to say? Actually, should ask can you believe those words came out of your mouth? ❜ He gently teased as big green orbs stared at her lovingly. ❛To think you started with so I don't have to see you again. ❜ It still tripped him out to see how far they've actually come. What started from annoyance on her part and now to end up here where she felt the same way as he did was the twist he didn't expect but was glad it surpassed his expectations. ❛I see you. You just wanna be first. That's fine. ❜ he smiled softly, eyes gleaming with amusement. ❛That is okay. There isn't a rulebook. And I think we're doing pretty good. I mean you're not trying to kick me off a cliff so we're off to a good start. I'm not saying there won't be missteps or whatever but we got something that most people don't. A solid foundation of friendship that serves as a cushioned level for our romantic relationship. We're gonna be fine. I promise. ❜ Relationships were tricky he knew it but he also knew how he and Liz worked together and that was pretty solid evidence to let him know they'd be just fine paving their own path together.

A low chuckle erupted from him as he had her by his side. If he didn't know any better he'd say she hesitated because she hadn't thought of that. ❛That's a good point. Want her to trust you on her own terms. ❜ That sounded eerily familiar. ❛I think she does look a bit bigger than the last time. Though also don't think it's a full tummy type of big. In the morning we can see if she will come out when you feed her and see if she trusts enough for us to pick her up. ❜

He shrugged softly at the thought, "I don't see Dolly not getting along with her. She is pretty chill with Lena's cats so it may just be an easy transition or she may get jealous of your attention not being on her all the time." One of two things could happen which made him chuckle. Dolly could be territorial when she felt like the affection wasn't given at 100.

He leaned over and leaned on his elbow, taking his finger to her cheeks and tracing a small circle over it. "I love the name. I don't want to change it. It fits her. I promise." His fingertips started drawing circles on her lower back as she curled into him. His chin ended up on top of her head and hummed. "Wiggles?" He tested it out then shook his head. "That would not fit her. Wiggles. Let's try it out, once without treats and another with treats. You could never be unimaginative. Truly, that's not even possible. ❜

[maranigai]

Mohg for the ask meme? 😅

Ah, Luminary Mohg my beloved...

favorite thing about them

Mohg's relations with love, both as a feeling and a concept. He's the person who has been denied any love (or any virtue) from the very beginning of his life, the person who has been abandoned, forsaken - and who was completely enraged and disgusted by it. So he believes that everyone deserves love, and care, and dignity - this is what he promises, sinserely, to his people, this is what his dynasty is for. And, of course, this is what leads to his downfall. His patron deity - an outer goddess of love and suffering - is a sadomasochistic, bloodthirsty abomination, but she grants strength, and how can Mohg deny the strength needed to protect those he loves? Or how can he not listen to his half-brother, who speaks of love, of compassion for all - even if his words are the charm that deprives Mohg of his own heart and will? He loved the world around him so much, no less, or maybe even more, than Morgott, but he refused to put up with its imperfections, its injustice and hypocricy - and first became a bloody monster himself, then lost it all to another monster, with similar motives, but much greater powers, which brings us...

least favorite thing about them

...to Mohg's death. Because he deserved better. Sure, he was a grim power, a servant of the goddess of torment, the leader of a murderous cult that killed and kidnapped people - and I can easily see why Mohg, despite all his original motives, deserved death... but not this death. Because it was such a cruel mockery of everything that was important to Mohg - love, dignity, freedom. It's not that I dislike the ending of his story because it's a bad plot or a writing issue... it's just too heartbreaking. Easily in the top-3 of all the FromSoft's Prepare-to-Cries for me.

favorite line

Ahh, I can see it, clear as day! The coming of our dynasty!

...I'm not crying (cries)

brOTP

Morgott, surely. Despite all of their contradictions, it was Morgott who had been with Mohg in the sewers all those years, it was Morgott who had lived through it all as Mohg had, it was Morgott - and only Morgott - who could truly understand him. Mohg might look up to Godwyn and love his dynasty with all his heart, but Morgott was his twin, his other half, inseparable. and all this is as true for Morgott himself as for Mohg

OTP

Ansbach, because my favourite trope strikes once again, lol. I've also seen some Radahn/Mohg post-dlc art... and honestly, there's something to it.

nOTP

Morgott. They're brothers, your honor! Also Miquella, because... well, I think I don't really need to explain it our lord Mohg deserved so much better

random headcanon

In terms of personality, Mohg resembles young pre-godhood Marika more than any other of her children. They also share an uncontrollable urge to make the least appropriate jokes in the least appropriate circumstances.

unpopular opinion

Mohg does care about the Golden Lineage, despite having founded his own dynasty. He's the eldest (after Godwyn's death) in his family, and he considers himself responsible for the rest of his relatives, feeling that he must protect them as Godwyn once did.

song i associate with them

Heather Dale - Prodigal Son (finally a musical association in a language that most people here understand!)

favorite picture of them

Once again, so many beautiful arts with Mohg. I guess for now I'll pick this art by motgarel

Also a bonus mention of this art with this amazing veiled!Mogh by pumpumkins 

[tianshiisdead]

u may ask me ‘why do you never draw japan if japan is ur favourite’ well the answer to that is that i also hate him and throw him against the wall daily. do i love him more than i hate him? who knows.

But, I do think it’s a little sad i never get around to Japanposting. i have a lot of thoughts, a lot of fascination, some of it a little morbid. Japan lies at the center of my historical interests and yet never quite within them: colonialism in Northeast Asia and postcolonial modernity. Even when outside of the room and not in the conversation, its presence is always looming just beyond the margins, always heavy, and usually bitter. I’m fascinated with what colonialism did to East Asia, and what colonialism did to Japan, the metropole. I’m fascinated by the rocky road to modernity and the ways nonwestern imperialism dresses itself in the language of liberation. I’m fascinated, if equally disgusted, by the gendering of nations and ethnicities in the eyes of both its self and other, the national-relations-as-romance depictions in then-popular propaganda films, in the blurry margins of intra-regional popular culture movements in wartime, and the cultures that emerge from surviving under a colonization that must have felt as though it would never end.

And when I think about it and consider painting, it leaves me a little wistful but also a little lost on how to approach art of Keekoo. I study this history’s shadow, I build my thoughts through a series of absences, I view it by viewing what it has done and the things it’s created - and destroyed. But… I am interested! I have a lot of strong feelings about this character. His contradictions are fascinating to me, even a little intimate. I worry I build him too much from my own viewpoint, poisoned by my family’s history as colonized, I worry that when I carve out what I think he should be I can’t help but focus too much on the shadows created rather than the object itself creating them.

But angst aside I do want to come up with a painting focusing on Kiku and Japan itself and not just having him ominously off screen somewhere LOL

[jeonggukieverse]

Office Buddies

Pairing: Jungkook x Female reader

Genre: Idiots to lovers, Office AU!, Best friends AU, Friends To Lovers, fluff

Warnings: language, over dramatic reader (lol)

Word count: 2k+

Summery: Jungkook is your best friend. He has been since you both started working at the company. So when you see his teammates teasing him, it gets to you a little. You attempt to reassure him but ending up confessing more than you should have

A/N: This is my first ever story so it probably sucksss. Im open to critisismes and story suggestions. Ive wanted to write for a long time and I'm finally biting the bullet and doing it with a Drabble I've had in my drafts for a while. Hope you enjoy it anyways

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You were absolutely fuming. You were enraged. You needed to find Jungkook. You spotted him chatting away on the phone on the other side of the office. He looked busy but at this point you didn’t care. You marched over to him, plopped yourself down on the spare chair and let out an exasperated huff. You could tell by his dishevelled demeanour that the phone call he was on wasn’t a pleasant one:

“That’s fine Mr. Kim, I’ll have them to you by tomorrow morni- Tonight? Oh-okay. Will do…”

Of course, it wasn’t pleasant. No conversation with Jinyoung was ever pleasant, especially when Jungkook was involved. You hated how Jinyoung treated Jungkook, it felt very exploitative especially when everyone in the office knows how shy Jungkook is and his aversion to the word ‘no’. To ask him to do more than his share was just cruel but then again, everyone in the stupid company was like that. Cruel. Cruel and patronising

As you were finishing your thoughts, Jungkook let out an exasperated huff of his own.

“what did he want this time?” you asked, curious as to what above and beyond task Jinyoung had given Jungkook.

“He wants a couple of reports written up and finalised by tonight” Jungkook trailed off as he wrote out his list of newly bestowed tasks on a sticky note

“How many is a couple?” You asked sceptically “Thirteen..”. At this point you were in even shocked anymore just frustrated.

“Jungkook, why don’t you just tell that lazy bastard to fuck off”

“Because I’ll be fired, princess” Jungkook repled. You hated that little name he had for you, don’t get me wrong you thought it was sweet but its origins rub you the wrong way. He had given it to you two years prior after one of your many, in his words, ‘tantrums’.

“why are you over here anyway, don’t you have reports of your own to be working on?” he cocked his head while he gazed at your still slouched figure.

However, his question reignited the anger that prompted you to even approach him.

“That’s what I came over to talk about. I need to rant a little and if I do it here, I’ll lose my job and be dragged out to the nearest mental facility. So, would you be so kind as to join me for lunch so I can get my feelings out away from the premises”.

He chuckled at how dramatic you are and gave you simple nod as he began to get ready. He popped on his long winter coat. You loved that coat on him. You loved everything he did.

“Where are you off to Jon Snow?” quipped one of the members of his team. The table of the chuckled in response. This had been a running joke for about a month now. Jungkook had started growing his hair longer at first you were sceptical but you curse yourself for ever having doubted the ability of jeon Jungkook’s face to make any hairstyle look good.

“Ha Ha” replied Jungkook both Ha’s dripping in sarcasm. You loved when Jungkook stood up for himself. It made you smile.

You both sauntered over to get your coat and you both walked out of the office doors. Everyone was used to seeing you and Jungkook together, ever since your first days here you two had been inseparable. You had met at your first day of training 5 years ago and hit it off pretty well. You two were the most perfect contradiction: He was, the quiet, shy boy that had his shit together and knew everything. You were you outspoken girl that had no idea what was going on. You made the best pair. That’s why he was your best friend.

Best friend

A very bitter sweet phrase to you. You couldn’t quite remember when you first fell in love with Jeon Jungkook but you knew your were head over heels for him and had been for some time. He was the perfect human being. Kind, friendly, dedicated, extremely gorgeous and absolutely out of your league. You knew he only saw you as a friend but, if that was enough for him, it was enough for you. You loved him as a person before anything else. If he was happy, so were you.

“So, what’s got you all riled up princess?” Jungkook questioned as you both sat at your regular table in Starbucks. This table has seen everything from tears of sadness to tears of joy and everything in between. This table was the cornerstone of yours and Jungkook’s relationship. At one point as you walked pass the shop you both spotted people in your spot to which you both admitted to each other that the sight made you both a little jealous. It was silly but it made sense to you both.

“Julie is a bitch. She absolutely has it in for me. I sent her Every. Single. Unreasonably demanding. Report. Yet it was somehow still wrong because I printed them on double sided paper. Sorry I care so much about the trees Julie. Why don’t you go outside and tell mother nature that you don’t give a fuck about the environment. Hmm, how about that Julie” you blurted your monologue before taking a targe sip of your Frappuccino. Jungkook stared into his black coffee trying to suppress his laughter.

“I’m sure she’s probably still mad that you turned her son down” Jungkook suggested trying to brighten your mood

The memory of that little cretin made you shudder “I thought we promised we’d never speak of that! Like, who thinks an appropriate way to start a conversation is ‘hey, nice ass he he he’” you cringed at the thought while Jungkook snorted at the idea. “I mean he wasn’t lying” Jungkook said still chuckling “Don’t you start!” you chuckled back trying to ignore the fluttering feeling in your stomach at the idea that Jungkook had checked you out before

“But in all seriousness, if you really feel like she’s targeting you report it to her manager” Jungkook suggested  

“Sweetheart, I could give you the same advice…” you retorted back

“That’s different, Jinyoung is the vice president of the company. If I show him, I can work hard, that looks really good on me and puts one step closer to my goal” Jungkook said staring into his coffee as he spoke. You could tell he was trying to convince himself more than he was trying to convince you. Jungkook’s goals were clear. Ever since his first day his goal has remained the same, he wanted to be the head of the advertising and marketing team. Jungkook was a big ball of energy and creativity just begging for an outlet. He had so many ideas all he was waiting for was the right person to ask him what they were. He had big plans and you wanted to see them all happen for him but at the same time, seeing him be walked over was too much for you to bare.

“I understand that but it’s still not fair JK. You got to tell him to shove it sometimes” you said with a light chuckle to soften the seriousness of your concern

“I know princess, I’ll try but until that time comes, I have thirteen reports to file by the end of tonight”.

“I’ll help you finish them! I’ll just stay a little later and we can work thorough them together!” you beamed. Jungkook was always the first to help when you had been given extra work cause Julie felt like you hadn’t suffered enough that day. “I won’t take no for an answer JK. Plus, I won’t even take credit so Jinyoung will think you did it all on your own. I will accept ice cream as my compensation instead”. Jungkook smiled at your antics and begrudgingly agreed to your terms.

As you trudged back to the office you couldn’t help but notice the way Jungkook’s hair blew in the wind. He truly was a sight to behold. He was an effortlessly ethereal being and it made you want to cry. You wanted to tell him how good it looked but you always hesitate to compliment Jungkook. You think that part of you is hesitant to because you’re scared, he might sense the deeper meaning behind your compliment and that terrified you. You were terrified of ruining this. But you were just complimenting a friend, right? I mean, Jungkook had complimented you many times. He would say things like ‘I’m in love with your new coat, it really looks good on you’ or ‘I’m in love with your hair today’ and you could tell it was just platonic so it wouldn’t make any difference if you did the same, right?

“I’m in love with your- “

“Do you need to b- “

You both spoke at the same time. You took this as your sign from the universe that those words shouldn’t have left your mouth.

“you go first haha” you quickly injected denying him any chance to question what you were about to say

“I was just gonna ask if you had to be home at a specific time?” Jungkook questioned

“Preferably before midnight cause you know beauty like this doesn’t just happen, ya girl needs her beauty sleep” you joked desperately trying to mask the sinking feeling that you were just seconds ago about to humiliate yourself. You desperately hope he’d move past and not ask what your intended words for him were. Fortunately enough for you, he did.

“Of course, princess, I’d never keep you up past your bed time.” You were only 9 months younger than Jungkook but boy did he never let you forget it. “Thanks grandad” you both chuckled at each other’s childishness before you strolled back into the office.

You reached your seat first and you watched Jungkook return to his.

“The king of the north has returned” snorted his desk mate

“Very funny Joe” Jungkook returned with humoured smile. Jungkook’s team loved to tease him but you do think they beat a joke to death sometimes.

A few hours into working you can still hear Joe teasing Jungkook about his hair. You understood Jungkook was a grown man who could take care of himself but he was also your best friend and you were fiercely protective of him. At this point you knew him like the back of your hand and you could tell the jokes were starting to get to him.

So, you whipped out your phone to text him what you were going to say earlier in person.

“I’m in love with you- “

Send

You stare at the delivered message underneath the blue bubble in disbelief. You were such an idiot. How the hell are you going to come back from this? Your whole world began to tumble as you began to imagine the worst scenarios’ possible. Was he going to think you were weird and stop talking to you? Was he gonna say ‘it’s probably best if we keep our relationship professional’? would he think you were joking? You prayed it was the latter.

After your panic, your mind went into damage control mode and you quickly began to type your explanation to him but before you could even hover your finger over the send button the terrifying deliver sign turned into something more sinister:

‘Read 14:12’

Your heart stopped. You looked up toward his direction before you could even think and he was already staring straight at you. Big Bambi eyes piercing your soul. Almost searching the inner crevices of your heart to see if you were telling the truth.

You prayed he wouldn’t see it. The honesty behind your mistake.

He looked down and began typing.

You felt your phone vibrate in your hand but your eyes never tore from his form. You had seen the way he threw his phone in his desk drawer after sending the message and your heart began to pound in your chest. This was the end.

You look down to check which way he chose to break your heart. You mustered the courage to read the words that would destroy you and they read:

“I’m in love with you too. Since that day that greasy dweeb asked you out, I knew I was in love with you. The thought of you potentially being with someone else almost tore me apart. I love you”

This was going to be a very interesting overtime session

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Hope y'all enjoyed it

[judyhopps934-mt-zd]

Thoughts on Miraculous Shanghai: The Legend of Lady Dragon

Warning: Spoilers! Other than that, have fun!

Also, if you want to watch the full English Dub, click here!

I love how we saw Fei's backstory as to how she became guardian of the Prodigious and how it was actually stolen because there are people who want money from her adoptive father's studio. It was also sad to see that the values her father implemented into her fade due to the circumstances they found themselves in. I speak for all of us to say that this girl needs a hug.

The intro as always is beautiful! Since it was not the first thing we saw, I was confused when looking through the episodes on YT.

I always enjoy Marinette's monologues, and this one was over how she looked forward to her holiday (it was like a vacation type thing). And how she looked forward to spend time with Adrien since his father was going to let him out. It was all perfect...

...until she went to deliver Uncle Wang's package and found out Adrien left for Shanghai at the last minute. But all is good though because she could go to Shanghai, deliver the gift personally, and see Adrien.

It hurts me to see that the writers made Marinette's purpose to go to Shanghai is to see Adrien when she can do that in Paris! It frustrates me that her character development goes back to square one, even as the protagonist of the show. People might point out this was before season 3, but I have a few points that say otherwise or that the writers are mixing things up. But first, the plot points and thoughts of everything else.

Also, I get that Marinette is 14/15/16 at the time of this episode, but how likely is it to send your child on their own halfway across the world??? On SHORT NOTICE??? I swear Sabine and Tom are too chill with this, but then again, there would be no story.

Also, I love how Ladybug and Chat Noir took the opportunity of their patrols without akumas to bond more. The Ladynoir in this episode I stan!

Gabriel you piece of trash! If you did not plan to spend time with your son, why take him to Shanghai when he was hoping to spend time with you?! And do not say "for business purposes" because even though Adrien is a face in the brand, at least don't give him false hope and that bs!

Nooro, thank you for trying to talk Gabriel out of it, but he is literally a wall (talking to Gabriel=talking to a wall)

I will say, the waiting for 15 years thing is very concerning.

Uncle Wang has been looking forward to see Marinette in person in Shanghai to learn more about her roots. He is ecstatic and its just heartwarming and heartbreaking when you think that part of Marinette's stay will be related to Adrien.

At least we see one thing that makes Marinette's stay not all about Adrien though: she is genuinely interested in her origins! Like when she asks about her family's traditional songs and about her mom, even learning her real name!

Speaking of which, Sabine's name is Xia Ping and only called herself Sabine when she started living in France. Also, I love her photo!

Bastille the bird that was around since forever is an icon!

Also, I can't believe Uncle Wang has not taken a break since Sabine moved to France, like what the hell??? Give this guy a break for goodness sake.

Thank you Gabriel for having one brain cell and allowing your son to leave the hotel! We still hate you for everything else though.

Its cool that Kwamis speak all of the languages. It is also the most logical thing because their wielder could be from anywhere. My question is are they taught the languages, does it form when a concept forms in the universe and they start existing, or like everything else is it magic?

Gorilla is iconic for two reasons: he is still a self care king, and he was willing to give Adrien some space to get action figures.

And now as I wrote that, this is where I am getting confused and start to believe this is post season 3: 1) Gorilla seems less anxious about being in a new place (unlike NY where he stayed in the hotel room the entire time), and 2) His obsession for action figures was shown in Party Crasher (season 3), which makes me wonder if the explanation is during season 3 or this episode hints at season 3. For the first point, it could be because Gabriel was not in NY to his knowledge.

Fei appears again and explains how she views the world and how she also uses that to help and take advantage of others.

She almost steals Adrien's phone and miraculous until Gorilla steps in. It hurts me because she is a good person but had to resort to stealing for a reason that we will explore soon.

Plagg, we always say your stomach causes trouble, but this time, you brought Adrien to Marinette's uncle...

...but also that ironically separated them as Marinette found them just as they climbed into the taxi.

This is also where Fei (wearing a disguise) crosses paths with Marinette and steals her purse. Then she went for the kwagatama and miraculous.

Things get worse for Fei as these boys that took a photo with Adrien earlier started chasing her. Then Marinette started going after them.

That is when she realized she was robbed and understandably, she was more horrified of losing her Miraculous.

Adrien shows up to Uncle Wang's home/restaurant. So many iconic moments happen.

1) Bastille says something about love between Marinette and Adrien. And Adrien responds with the line that makes us want to jump into the TV and talk some sense into him.

2) You say that "she's JuST a fRIenD" yet you stay over with her mom's uncle so you can surprise her lol. Adrien, you kill me and every other Adrienette fan with this contradicting statements.

Speaking of Marinette, she gets lost and has trouble communicating with others because she does not speak Chinese. And at some point says that she regrets not taking lessons?! Uh, what does this imply, that she refused lessons or that she did not have the opportunity for lessons??????? I NEED ANSWERS!

Can we say once again how talented and artistic Marinette is? Bad time? Moving on!

Uncle Wang is unaware of Marinette's tardiness, and Adrien just jokes about it. Considering that she is technically missing (reality is that she's lost), I don't think its time to joke about it.

The lady that gave Marinette some earrings that look like the Miraculous is so nice and bless her soul

The person from the pawn shop is the bad guy that we see at the very end of the NY special! And he knows about what happened to Fei's father! I am grateful that he sees no value in Marinette's stuff so he won't sell it for a lot, but I hate how he's greedy for money and was willing to exploit Fei's hunger for answers and Marinette needing her miraculous for personal gains.

Meanwhile, the boys from the photo with Adrien that chased Fei were trying to get Marinette's attention (they found her kwagatama when Fei dropped it running away and fighting them), but she thought they were gonna attack her. And then she bumps into Fei, who helps her escape.

Marinette finds comfort in Fei for being willing to "help" her (remember that she was gonna bring her to the pawn shop). She also finds Fei as a helpful, kind person who is brave: something that Fei does not see in herself, but does not have the heart to tell Marinette the truth.

Meanwhile, Chat has transformed to find Marinette and its the most endearing thing I've seen! Adrien, you blind oblivious fool! You care about her more than you think!

They arrive in the pawn shop, Tikki escaped the claw machine, and Marinette finds the earrings...for 100000 Yuan.

Fei, understanding what its like to have something entrusted to you be stolen, gets in a spat with the pawn shop owner in Chinese, accusing the owner for greed and accusing Fei for theft, while Marinette just stands her.

Also, when did Marinette become naive???????? I get that she's in another country and they are speaking in a different language that she does not understand, but based on the tone of their voices and shouting, I feel like she should have sensed something was off.

Fei swaps the earrings the lady gave Marinette and took the miraculous back. To the lady, this is why your soul is blessed. So bless your soul!!!

Apparently, Marinette realized what happened and said that Fei stole her earrings and feels bad for the man. Girl, you do not have to feel guilty for the man! He was about to destroy them before he thought about sentimental value! Also, he did not pay Fei anything for them! (Felt that this should be brought up because even though Fei was wrong in stealing her stuff, she was also robbed from potential cash and answers, therefore the man was owed nothing.)

The boys from Adrien's photo are actually vigilantes of Shanghai (and will be referred as such from now on), wanting to bring Fei to justice for stealing, which catches Marinette's attention, but not enough to ask any questions.

Also Marinette is not wanted as a criminal. She is missing as Uncle Wang called the police.

Fei still lives in the school, which has been in ruins. Despite not having much, she still offers Marinette a cup of what I believe is water (or tea?). See peoples, Fei is a good person at heart (if y'all aren't aware of it by now)

Gabriel saw and recognized Marinette. This is horrifying and if it is prior to season 3, we see why he tries so hard to target her. Or reasons why he targets her in season 4 along with everything else we know from "Truth".

Fei should have been given the chance to explain why she stole Marinette's things, but the pawn shop owner was like "you know, I might as well expose Fei myself"...

...and it really broke Marinette, who heavily trusted her. But she can't dwell on it for long...

...because AKUMA COMES FOR THE PAWN SHOP OWNER! AND HIS FAN SHOOTS KNIVES! AND HAS GREEDY MOTIVES! AND HELPED HAWKMOTH GET INTI THE CAVE WITH THE PRODIGIOUS!!!

Also, Nathalie was involved in obtaining the bracelet years ago. Again, the 15 years thing is concerning.

Marinette flees to transform, but not without telling Fei how she broke her trust and how she feels that Feinwas not genuinely helping her. It hurt me so much!

Ladybug transforms, hears Chat's voice-mail (to which she is swooned by the fact her kitty cares for her civilian self), and calls him. The best Ladynoir scene so far!

So the prodigious is like a jewel with powers, there is only one prodigious from what we see, and that one prodigious has multiple renlings that only the wielder can see. Oh, and the bracelet is like a key. Cool.

I don't like how Fei's Lady Dragon outfit looks whitewashed, but at least her hair is red instead of blonde (which still does not make this okay)

Epic Showdown between the akuma, Hawkmoth, Ladybug, and Lady Dragon. Hawkmoth corners Ladybug and Lady Dragon gets caught in some rocks.. All hope seemed lost...

...until Chat shows up and frees the akuma with the help of a basketball.

We learn something new folks: the same butterfly can create a different akuma. This is very frightening because...

The statue that determines who is worthy of the prodigious gets akumatized! The horror!

Also, if the statue says Fei cannot become the dragon because her intention to seek vengeance for her father is not noble and worthy, then what makes Hawkmoth think he will be successful in becoming the dragon??? Because it seems that his intentions are not pure or noble. Just saying.

Hawkmoth notices the akumatized statue heading to the city and all of a sudden remembers about Adrien. Confronting the statue, he gets turned into ashes(?).

CHAT, HAWKMOTH IN ASHES WOULD HAVE BEEN FOR THE BETTER IF THE STATUE DID NOT DESTROY SHANGHAI AND YOU WOULD NOT THINK AS SUCH IF YOU KNEW HE WAS YOUR FATHER! But I am not mad at you, just wanted to point out your irony.

ML WRITERS, WHY DO YOU KEEP KILLING OFF CHAT????? LADYBUG DOES NOT NEED ANY MORE TRAUMA AND THAT WAS COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY!!!! I AM SCREAMING INSIDE!!!!!

Fei is understandably upset and blames herself for what happen. I want to hug her so badly.

Marinette reassures Fei and forgives her, even though Fei felt that she could not be forgiven.

The structure they were standing on collapses and it was Fei as the Dragon who saved her, not Chat. Honestly, I love how it turned out as it strengthens their friendship, but I still prefer a Marichat alternative. WHERE IS THE MARICHAT PEOPLES???

Final showdown!

Poor statue guard was upset about the damage they caused as an akuma, but Miraculous Ladybiug fixes everything.

Fei learned an important lesson: let justice take its course, not enact revenge. But it was quite funny to have the pawn shop owner be flown away to court in a literal sense.

The bracelet has a renling-like creature, who is just so adorable, especially since they missed Fei and was waiting for the day they would be reunited. Aww!

Ladynoir version of the Moon scene from NYC! Except no dancing, just them challenging each other over who will get to Paris first if they traveled in opposite directions. No one shall ever know we were in Shanghai as civilians lol (Reminds me of my best friend when eating grapes during choral rehearsals)

Marinette, Adrien, Fei, and Uncle Wang enjoying a birthday (?) dinner was wholesome.

I love how Uncle Wang calls them boyfriend and girlfriend because of how they act around each other, yet Marinette and Adrien both deny it. Bruh, these children need to open their fricking eyes! I really wanted to jump through my phone screen!

The Shanghai Vigilantes came to return Marinette's kwagatama necklace. They are so precious even though we thought they were enemies in the trailer.

Even though they were at odds at first, love how the Vigilantes blushed when Fei played the accordion and she's just like "whatever". I stan an asexual queen.

Do I even want to know what Marinette accidentally said when she mispronounced "sister" in Chinese? Based on what Fei said, probably not.

Uh...NOW I WANT TO SEE MORE OF ADRIEN TEACHING MARINETTE CHINESE! While I do take some issue of Adrien (a white French boy) teaching Marinette her culture like most of us had issue with in "Kung Food", I also want to see them interact outside of school and hopefully bond. ML writers need to keep their word otherwise Adrienette stans will riot!

Love how the final scene turned out! Its just *chef's kisses*

Also, the hell with the business trip?? It was mentioned once again IN THE ENDCARD! It might not be as interesting, but I want to think that there was more truth to it.

Also, wifi troubles kept interrupting the show at crucial moments, but okay.

Overall, I live for the Shanghai episode! The animation is just as incredible as the NY special (which I also live for) and I love how this episode has a great focus on Fei and the prodigious. I mean, before the intro, she tells her story. And she has her monologues alongside Marinette's. In many ways, it's refreshing. Also, Ladynoir and Adrienette stans will be satiated with the scenes associated with each ship. Also, I love Fei's character development! And the final scene is wholesome!

I won't lie though: there are a few issues regarding whitewashing Fei's transformation and such. It is important to see these things and as a good friend of mine always says: you can enjoy something while also being critical of it. And that is very important no matter how devotive to something you actually are.

Anyways, we are being well fed with all the Miraculous content and I will see you all very soon! Also, get some sleep peoples! I know some of you aren't sleeping!

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket Manga Review ch (90)- First pages ONLY.

I skimmed thro ch-89 to know the context of ch-90. it was Cinderella’s play. In this chapter, Kyo says early on, that time has passed since the play & that they are NOW starting their third year in high school. cool.

This part will ONLY focus on the 1st few pages of ch 90 abt (kyo & tohru) & stop before kyo’s memories starts, because the early pages contain:

Tons of new unexplored analysis of (kyo & tohru) characters that unfortunately was intentionally cut & worse! “changed” in the anime.

No space to add kyoko’s story in this post.

Kyoko’s story is full psychologically & socially.. I need to take a deeeeeeep breath before I unpack it. very deeeeep breath!

-Glimpses of Tohru (the silent grieving girl) Subtle Writing of Grief:

Right from the beginning, I hate how much insight into tohru’s grief & weakness as a human being is already there in the first few pages of ch-90 than the entire 3 seasons of the anime! From few pages we have:

Tohru’s seemingly delighted watching a video. Subtly, showcasing tohru’s grieve & paving the path for tohru’s trauma exploration later in the story. Grief is not sth you quickly past, that’s the most tragic misunderstanding of grief. Time will pass, so, you’ll be better & healthier. Really?!. Tohru’s inner desire to see her mom alive manifested in her words: “ like a photo comes to life” T_T.

The story/writing/manga is acknowledging tohru’s heartbreaking & NOT cute habit of talking to her mom’s cold dead photo! In the anime, tohru talks to her a lot in se01 & it’s up to you to see as as “ cute” as all the canon characters do or actually feeling it IS wrong. Kyo’s  “ what would she do if there were a video of her mom”! “ drives the point more abt tohru being a sad grieving human~not the “advice-giving, optimistic angel, & rain-stopping sunshine in the anime.

Tohru telling kyo to NOT catch cold connecting it to se01, ep 9 (haru’s ep) when tohru was afraid that yuki might catch cold & kyo noticed that! so now in se03, they’re dropping this plot altogether within the main anime, for what? we dont even know if this part would be included in whatever “ kyoko’s” spinoff content would be. -_-’.

That’s how you write subtle trauma such as (grief) for a main (female) MC. subtlety is the key. Respect the viewers intelligence & do it.

You don’t have to give her the long speeches or the many focused ep that yuki had. he’s the kind who confront himself inwardly constantly.

You don’t have to showcase drama, confrontation & force the emotions out like you did with kyo. he runs from his trauma & punishes himself.

Tohru buries her feelings! she’s different from both kyo & yuki. So, with her subtle & symbolic scenes are enough!!!The viewers will catch it if you show it, but ignoring it, cutting it & hoping the viewers will magically predict what you cut, is weird. But the anime isn’t even into us predicting nor subtly showing her cuz this tohru is NOT the tohru we have in the anime. How?

Simply cuz there is no kyo’s inner thoughts abt small things such as tohru’s photo obsession which subtly shows her grief & trauma. If kyo didn’t monologue abt her, tohru does not exist as she’s meant to be. You loose the subtle insights into tohru if you cut kyo’s inner thoughts. Not everything kyo thinks abt in regards to tohru is romance!!! That’s a very narrow & superficial look into the writing of kyo/’tohru dynamics. Flip the pages, hmm..cut this kyoru scene here & there cuz we dont want the anime to be only their love story.. But the story itself IS NOT only their love story at all. These pages/scenes here are abt tohru as a PERSON. Not tohru the lover...

- Writing Clashes between manga & anime: (Kyo’s Conscious Gradual Psychological Exploration vs Shock Value & Drama)

In ch 90 i really love all the inner self talking that kyo’s doing. It really explains why he ended up rejecting tohru so strongly. Also, going for a trip into kyo’s mind is hella exciting, new, refreshing & full of analysis-worthy exploration! Kyo’s inner psychological argument with himself is a psychologically-informed presentation of a tried guilty mind:

“ Why can’t I stop thinking of (kyoko’s words) lately? Acknowledging that he IS remembering kyoko & never forgot her. This is also supported in the anime itself. When he apologized to a sleeping tohru in se01, ep14 & se02, ep9 , confronting yuki in the stairs & other instances as well. 

“ It’s like a lid been opened & all the memories came pouring”. Acknowledging that kyo DID open his lid since se02, ep9 byt chose to run & not confront it due to his guilt of ruining tohru’s happiness by confessing his connection to her mom. 

“ pretending I didn’t know, pretending I forgot”. Here is a blatant clash in kyo’s writing (1) between the anime & manga (2) between the anime’s episodes themselves!!. In the manga, again kyo chose to ignore & pretended to forget. Death is NOT sth you forgot. Kyo saw kyoko bleeding & dying.  The anime chose to make him totally forget & it could’ve worked if they didn’t included all the canon moments of him actually remembering & pretending to forget. Is that lazy writing? or was the director for se03 different from se 1 &2 &? chose to NOT watch the two previous seasons? Why would you consciously include a contradicting depiction of your character on screen for thousands of confused viewers? Was the scene of kyo’s shocked gave upon seeing kyoko’s photo that artistically appealing that you forgot everything? I really have NO problem of kyo forgetting kyoko if that was written in the anime since se01, but it wasn't. that's why it sucks. 

“Is this payback? maybe I want to blame ME?” augh! i love this line so much! Directly hinting to the viewers that this is kyo’s one-sided guilt before his story with kyoko even started! subtly paving the path for the reason of his rejection of tohru” I dont want forgiveness. I want to blame ME.

-I don’t mind that the anime left kyo’s thoughts of kyoko until the climax in eo8, cuz ep 8 was SO well-done! Se03, ep 8 pacing was very suitable to (1) uncovering dark secrets & death, trauma, & guilt. (2)  for exploring the effects such secrets on kyo’s character, decisions, mentality. Also, the animation of kyo’s face all ep 8 was one of the most expressive facial expressions the anime has ever delivered! The eyebrows, eyes, mouth, tears, body languages, heartache was all 100% perfect. The fact that the following eps didnt have much time to express everything & chapters were cramped is not ep 8′s fault but the decision to have 13 eps. Kyo’s delayed trauma deserved to have its own ep.

-What I DO mind is the added scene of ep 6 where he freaked out upon seeing kyoko’s picture, the concept of shock is perfect & so suitable for an anime but was NEVER properly written into the anime itself from the beginning. On the contrary, the anime itself contradict such usage of such value. Good job ruining an otherwise perfect-depiction of two traumatized characters (kyo & tohru) with ONE scene.. -_-

Side Notes:

I thought tohru is narrating the 1st page in ch-90, turned it out it is kyo!!!! Kyo narrates sth? Kyo monologues? kyo has a POV? Just the setting of kyo doing that feels different! I duno if it cuz when that happens in the anime it’s always clash & drama! lol, or cuz it’s sth original!

Shigure’s “ it’s broadcasted all over the nation” is epic! XD! you know poor stupid kyo would fall for that! XD. kyo, you really are an idiot! XD... man this scene would’ve been epic comedy~ lol.

Tohru not knowing what a “dvd” is is outdated for the anime, but to still keep the sentiment of “her wishing she’d have a video footage of her mom”, they could’ve replaced her words with “ It’d be fun watching this play years from now & remembering all the details”. I know that to some, it feels weird that tohru doesn't have video footage of her mom in this era. but trust me, this is more common than you might think. My late brother, who’s way younger than me, doesn't have much video footage, he always felt awkward & preferred not to be filmed. We got photos for him tho~

Even if you want kyo’s knowledge of kyoko to be in the climax only. You can always include this scene of tohru & kyo in the first pages in the anime somehow. It doesn't even need to be abt the dvd even tho that’s manageable. Cutting this short scene of them talking abt videos, & catching cold is cutting tohru’s trauma from its core. Then, the old grandpa’s narration from se03, ep6 would at least have some backup in the anime’s canon.

Momiji & shigure are perfect as a comedic duo!

I can’t get over tohru’s art~ <3

Pinning kyo at the beginning is epic~ kyo always gets the BEST romantic lines when he talks to himself. “ burning (tohru’s ) memories into my head or forgetting everything”. The torturing fire inside him is only distinguished by loving her but is also ignited by loving her~ what’s the solution~

[cloudystevie]

dude dude dude. i can’t get this out of my head. andy railing you sideways playing with your t*ts still railing you and haha etc. imagine the dirty TALK. fuck lmao

anonymous said: OH AND IMAGINE HES DOING IT IN FRONT OF A MIRROR? “look at yourself” “you look so hot” oh okay yeah you have fun with that

warnings: mean daddy andy (aka my favourite andy lol), mirror sex, just very dirty imo sksksk, also probably technical issues with the position but its fiction so who cares, degradation and language

“look at you honey, such a pretty pussy for daddy to fuck.” his fingers ran over the insides of your thighs, trailing them closer to your spread open cunt

you whined, dropping your head back against his chest

he wrapped a firm hand around your throat, forcing your head up so you could meet his heated gaze in the debauched reflection

“eyes on the fucking mirror. don’t make me say it again.” he growled

you maintained eye contact as andy continued his torture on your sensitive core

your arousal was leaking onto the floor, and andy laughed at the sight, slapping your cunt making you jolt and shriek in his arms

“always so responsive to daddy, i love it.” you nodded, moaning loudly as he cupped your tit in one hand, tweaking and tugging at your nipple roughly

his other hand was occupied with your cunt, stuffing two of his thick fingers inside of you, stretching you out for him

“look at this pretty little pussy. i said look at it!”

you whined and clenched around his fingers at his mean tone, immediately snapping your eyes open 

“there we go. no need to cry little one, daddy hasn’t even gotten his cock in you yet.”

you fisted his shirt in your hands, humping his hand like a bitch in heat

“daddy please i need you so bad!”

he shushed you, continuing his assault on your pussy

“daddy wants you to watch yourself, lay on your side.”

his words left no room for disobedience and you did as you were told, not even complaining about the cool hardwood floor digging into your bare skin

but even though andy could be really fucking mean, he wasn’t completely heartless

so he lifted you up and placed his arm under the side of you, allowing your body some relief

he had unbuckled his belt, freeing his throbbing cock and slapping it against your ass, spreading his pre-cum on your soft flesh

he threw your leg over his hip, and then ran his cock over your weeping folds

he hissed as he thrust into you, growling at the delicious feel of your pulsing hole around him

“fuck such a good pussy. my pussy isn’t it?”

you nodded your head, sobbing out “yours daddy, all yours”

he began thrusting into you with more force, the sheer power of his movements making your tits bounce almost painfully so

“just a little toy for me aren’t you? for me to fuck and fill up with my cum whenever i want?”

your fingers wrapped around his wrist that was wrapped around your neck, “good girl, taking daddy so well.”

andy always had a way of reducing you to nothing but a shaking, screaming mess and then praise you so sweetly; the contradiction pushed you closer to the edge

his fingers wiped away your tears, “dumb little baby crying for my cock. such a brat.”

his filthy words never came to a halt as he whispered lowly into your ear.

“daddy ‘m gonna cum!”

he picked you up, settling you on his lap before slamming your hips up and down his cock, “come on then, make a fucking mess of yourself.”

the new position allowed him to reach all over your sweet spots, and you seized up around him, back arching and then slumping against his chest as he rode out the waves of your orgasm

your eyes rolled into the back of your head and your arms and legs jerked wildly before andy shushed you, pushing your thighs apart with his own and lacing your fingers through his

holding you in place

he groaned at the sight of you convulsing around him; because of him

“now i want you to squirt on my cock. and i’m not stopping until you do” he nipped your ear.

[celiabowens]

Book recommendations, Literary Fiction edition(?)

A companion to this post (which should be updated, at some point lol)

Short Story Collections: 

Salt Slow by Julia Armfield: grotesque and disquieting collection about women and their experience in society, how they view and perceive their own body and desires. Pretty strong mythic, magical realism, body horror elements in here.

The Man Who Mistook his Wife for a Hat and Other Clinical Tales by Oliver Sacks: fascinating collection in which Sacks reminishes some particularly odd stories of patients who had to cope with bizarre neurological disorders.

Home Remedies by Xuan Juliana Wang: a collection focused on the Chinese millennial experience. Stories about love and loss, family, immigration and the uncertainty of the future. (also there’s an extremely beautiful short story about a pair of Chinese divers that broke me forever!!!)

Bestiary: The Selected Stories by Julio Cortázar: unforgettable selection of short stories that mix surreal elements to everyday life and apparently ordinary events. Would also recommend All Fires the Fire by the same author.

Novels:

How Much of These Hills is Gold by C. Pam Zhang: one of the biggest debuts of 2020, it follows two recently orphaned children through the gold rush era. An adventurous historical fiction piece that focuses on themes like gender, identity and immigration, this is one of my favorites 2020 reads so yeah, I’d really push it in anyone’s hands to be honest.

Burial Rites by Hannah Kent: historical fiction inspired by the last days of a young woman accused of murder in Iceland in the 1820s. A quite bleak, but beautiful novel (the prose is stunning).

The Mercies by Kiran Millwood Hargrave: historical fiction novel set in Norway in the 17th century, following the lives of a group of women in a village that recently (barely) survived a storm that killed all of the island’s men. 

The Nickel Boys by Colson Whitehead: the 2020 winner of the Pulitzer Prize. The book follows the lives of two boys sentenced to a reform school in Jim Crow-era Florida. A bleak, but important book, with a shocking final twist (side note, I’ve been recommended The Underground Railroad by Whitehead as well, but I haven’t gotten to it yet. If you’re looking for something quite peculiar, if a bit less refined when compared to The Nickel Boys, The Intuitionist is a quite odd pulpy noir set in an alternate NY about...elevator inspectors *and racism*). 

The Leavers by Lisa Ko: haunting book about identity and immigration as the main character is apparently abandoned by his own mother (an undocumented Chinese immigrant) during his childhood. Mainly a story about living in between places and constantly feeling out of place. 

The Memory Police by Yoko Ogawa: when everyone would probably recommend Murakami (not much against Murakami besides his descriptions of women and their boobs), I suggest checking out some of Ogawa’s books. The recently translated The Memory Police, published in Japan in the mid 90s, is an orwellian dystopian novel set on an unnamed Island where memories slowly disappear. Would also really recommend The Housekeeper and The Professor, a really short novel about a housekeeper hired to clean and cook for a math professor who suffered an injury that causes him to remember new things for only 80 minutes. 

On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong: Ocean Vuong’s debut novel, following a son writing a letter to his illiterate mother. The book seems quite polarising due to Vuong’s writing style (his poetry background is really quite clear and the book doesn’t really follow a regular narrative, rather than portrays events and memories in brief flashes), but I loved it and I’d really just recommend going into it without knowing much? It’s a beautiful exploration of language, family history, trauma, sexuality and more.

Exist West by Mohsin Hamid: this book was fairly popular when it came out (in 2017 I believe) and was often incorrectly marketed as magical realism. Hamid’s book is a brief and quietly brutal journey with a few fantastical elements, following a couple trying to escape their city in the middle of war, as they hear about peculiar doors that can whisk people far away. The doors are, of course, a quite effective metaphor for the immigrant experience and the book does a great job at portraying the main characters’ relationship. 

Family Trust by Kathy Wang: this has a really low rating on goodreads which...wow i hate that. Family Trust is a literary family saga/drama about a Chinese-American family residing in the Silicon Valley. It’s often been compared to Crazy Rich Asians, but I believe it to be more on the literary side and definitely less lighthearted. 

Pachinko by Min Jin Lee: historical family saga (one of my favorites tbh, I’m absolutely biased, but this book deserved more hype) set in Korea and Japan throughout the 20th century, following four generations of a Korean family. While I wasn’t the biggest fan of the prose, the book has really great characterisation and absolutely fascinating characters. (I’d suggest checking out eventual TW first, in this case). 

The Silence of the Girls by Pat Barker: another recent read, The Silence of the Girls, while not faultless, is a pretty good retelling of The Iliad, narrated through Briseis’ perspective. The prose can feel a bit too modern at times, but it provides the reader with some really strong quotes and descriptions. 

Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng: and also Little Fires Everywhere by the same author, to be honest. If you’re looking for really really good family dramas, with great explorations of rather complex and nuanced relationships? You should just check out her stuff. Vibrant characters, good writing, and some superb portrayal of longing here. 

Nutshell by Ian McEwan: i’m starting with this one only to grab your attention (if you’ve even reached this part lol, congrats), but McEwan’s one of my favorite authors and I’d recommend almost everything I’ve read by him? Nutshell, specifically, is a really odd and fun retelling of Hamlet...told from the pov of an unborn baby. But really, I’d also recommend Atonement (of course), The Children Act, Amsterdam? All good stuff. 

A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles: I’ve read this book this summer and, while I’m still unsatisfied with the ending, I’d thoroughly recommend this? The novel follows Count Alexander Rostov, who, in 1922, is sentenced to a lifetime of house arrest in the Metropol, a luxurious hotel in the center of Moscow. A singular novel, funny and heartbreaking at once, following a vibrant cast of characters as they come and go from Rostov’s secluded life. 

Human Acts by Han Kang: from the bestselling author of The Vegetarian (which honestly, I thoroughly despised lol), Human Acts focuses on the South Korean Gwangju uprising. It’s a really odd (and at times grotesque) experimental novel (one chapter is narrated from the pov of one of the bodies if I remember correctly), so one really has to be in the mood for it, but it’s a really unique experience, worth a chance.

The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay by Michael Chabon: sort of a really chunky historical adventure novel following two artists in 1940s/1950s NY, who create a superhero and use him to wage a one man war on the Nazis. A bit slow in places (the pace can be uneven at times and the book is quite long), but an enjoyable novel that does a pretty good job when it comes to exploring rather classic themes of American contemporary fiction: the American dream and the figure of the artist (I think there’s a particularly interesting focus on how the artists navigates the corporate world and its rules) and their creative process.

Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel: this is a pretty classic rec, the book really got a lot of hype when it came out? It’s a dystopian-ish novel set after civilisation’s collapse, following a post-apocalyptic troupe (of Shakespearean actors). It’s a really odd, but surprisingly quiet book. Not sure if a pandemic is exactly the right time to read it, but I thoroughly recommend it. 

The Garden of Evening Mists by Tan Twan Eng: I feel like this book is extremely complex to summarise to be honest. In short, it’s a book set in Malaya at the end of the 1940s, following a woman who, after surviving Japanese wartime camps, spends her life prosecuting war criminals. But truthfully this book is about conflicts and contradictions and in particular about remembering and forgetting. Lovely prose. 

The Secret History by Donna Tartt: and also The Goldfinch. I’m sure no one really needs me to introduce Donna Tartt?

The Luminaries by Eleanor Catton: quite cerebral mystery set in New Zealand in 1866. Honestly you have to be a patient reader who enjoys novels with a pretty complex structure to like this, but if you’re into this sort of challenging read...go for it? It’s a book of interlocking stories (with 10+ pov and main characters) with a really fascinating structure based on astrological charts, which provide insight to the main characters’ traits and personality as the mystery unfolds.

The Hours by Michael Cunningham: ok...do not watch the movie first. The Hours is an incredibly difficult novel to describe to be honest: it begins by recalling the last moments of Virginia Woolf’s life, as she’s writing Mrs. Dalloway. The book focuses on three separate narratives, each one following a specific character throughout a single day of their own life. Goes without saying that I’d suggest being familiar with Mrs. Dalloway itself first though.

An Artists of the Floating World by Kazuo Ishiguro: not one of Ishiguro’s most famous works (most start reading his work with Never Let Me Go or The Remains of the Day), but probably my favorite out of those I’ve read so far. The novel follows  Masuji Ono, an artist who put his work in service of imperialist propaganda throughout WWII. Basically a reflection and an account of the artist’s life as he deals with the culpability of his previous actions. 

Stoner by John Williams: I feel like this is an odd book to recommend, because I don’t think someone can truly get the hype unless they read it themselves. Stoner is a pretty straight-forward book, following the ordinary life of an even more ordinary man. And yet it’s so compelling and never dull in its exploration of the characters’ lives and personalities. Also, I’ve just finished Augustus by the same author, which is an epistolary historical fiction novel narrating some of the main events of Augustus’ reign through letters from/by his closest friends and enemies. Really liked it. 

Do Not Say We Have Nothing by Madeleine Thien: back to integenerational family sagas (because I love those, in case it wasn’t clear lol), Do Not Say We Have Nothing follows a young woman who suddenly rediscovers her family’s fractured past. The novel focuses on two successive generations of a Chinese family through China’s 20th century history. While not every character got the type of development they deserved, the author does a good job when it comes to gradually recreating the family’s complex and nuanced history. 

There’s probably more but I doubt anyone’s going to reach the end or anything so. There’s that lol.

[ducavalentinos]

How would you rate Sabatini's biography on Cesare? I love it, but I wondered if you had any other (English) recommendations? Also take a shot everyone Sabatini interrupts his narrative to talk about how hot Cesare was sfhttjjggj

I think as far as Cesare bios goes, I’d rate his biography 7/10. I have conflicted feelings with Sabatini’s work, because I love his writing style, his sense of humour is great, it matched mine right away, and he has such a genius way of pointing out the hypocrisy and double standards applied to the Borgia family. He cleverly shows how much of the Borgia myths and general accusations thrown their way are connected to politics (shocker!) and to their Spaniard, and less nobly origins. Not to mention how he exposes the historical bias against Cesare, and general dishonesty with him, from primary sources to modern historians such as Gregorovius, that paragraph Sabatini wrote about him was truly a moment in the Borgia historical literature for me, I'm glad he said it. I just wish he hadn't fallen so hard for the Machiavellian Prince archetype about Cesare. The more I re-read his work, the more it becomes clear to me he took Machiavelli’s writings about Cesare at face value, fell in love with the image presented by him, and then proceeded (whether consciously or unconsciously) to apply this interpretation, one that has its limitations and flaws on their own, to all the facets of Cesare’s character, and all the other aspects of his life lol, which resulted in this too strict, robot-like persona. There is no nuance, no deepth to Cesare’s Sabatini, he exists only as the stoic, unscrupulous, unfeeling Machiavellian Prince. It’s a mistake I see being made time and again by most of Cesare’s biographers, many who follow Sabatini too blindly, or just Borgia biographers in general tbh, but Sabatini’s bio acutely illustrates this particular issue better than the other bios I’ve read I think, (with the exception perhaps of Beuf’s “work”, who somehow managed to outdone Sabatini in this Machiavellian presentation of Cesare, taking it to new extremes with super dramatic and misleading writing, for the most part). And you know, I always get the impression Sabatini had his own conflicted feelings in regards to The Prince, and its clear-headed, pragmatic politics. He seemed to admired it and feel repulsed by it at the time. And those mixed feelings sometimes ended up leaking into his view and writing about Cesare and some historical events, and what he believed had happened (e.g., the take of Urbino), and I find that very interesting. In any case, the point is: Sabatini’s Cesare is unrealistic, and it constantly enters into conflict with what Sabatini also presents as evidence for his history. I mean, he insists throughout the book in reaffirming Cesare was a utter egoist, cold man. Only moved by his ambition and thirst for power. He was incapable of kindness, or of being considerate with others, of feeling compassion, without ulterior motives involved. All of his actions were always calculated to only serve his own interests. Everyone around him were pawns to be used and discarded when they were no longer of any use to him. We are to believe he was a cynic, a block of ice, essentially. We are also to believe he never had genuine emotional bonds with anyone, much less with women. Women were interchangeble to him. Sabatini was convinced he was a man incapable of having a sentimental side, of loving or of having any connection with them beyond the physical aspect. But then, in between chapters, sometimes pages, he also tell us how Cesare seems to have deeply grieved the death of his cousin, Giovanni Borgia, whom he refers as Mio Fatre in his letters. He gives an honest, if quick, account about the marriage and relationship between Cesare and Charlotte d’Albret, in which Cesare’s obvious feelings for her can be seen, as well as his kindness and respect towards her. Sabatini admits the evidence shows they may well have loved each other, and that when leaving Charlotte in charge of all his affairs in France, as the governor and administrator of his lands and lorships there, as well as his heiress in case of his death, Cesare shows “his esteem of her and the confidence he reposed in her mental qualities.” And of Cesare’s policies and behavior as its ruler in the Romagna, it reaches a point where his mere self-interest doesn’t quite alone explain his relationship with this romagnese subjects and many of his decisions. It undermines Sabatini’s claim that it was for show and for his political gain. Last but not least, what is one supposed to make of the hypothesis he posits to the what I like to call, the Dorotea affair? This event is the peak of his contradiction and his mental gymnastics, because to be sure, his hypothesis is not far-fetched. I will concede I thought it was the first I read his bio. But over the years, between carefully separating fiction from history and reading other sources, then going back to his bio, I recognized his hypothesis is one of the plausible ones, certainly more plausible than the official sensationalistic narrative of Cesare simply abducting the innocent maiden Dorotea out on a whim, to satisfy his lust, (the fact Borgia scholars  are still repeating this narrative with a straight face is beyond my comprehension), I can see Cesare doing what he proposes, it def. aligns better with my understanding of him, and all the historical material I’ve read about him and his times, however, this hypothesis is completely irreconcilable with Sabatini’s Cesare. So, he says one thing, then he says another that’s incompatible with the first thing he said, and then proceeds to show evidence that either puts into doubt or confirms the opposite of his characterization of Cesare. And that’s only considering the historical info he dedided to include in his bio. If he had included some of the info Alvisi presents in his Duca di Romagna, a work he must have checked out, if not read it all, given one of the languages he spoke was Italian, and Alvisi’s bio is the best and most authoritative historical work made to date about Cesare and his life, I believe he would have struggled a lot more than he did. It just seems like he enters into a trap of his own making. Turning an already difficult task more difficult than it needs to be, honestly. Ironically, his stance is as messy and contradictory as the aforementioned Gregorovius in his Lucrezia Borgia, where you also have two Cesare(s): the one he sees and wants to present versus the one that emerges from the his own writing at times and historical material he himself exposes it. Overall, his work frustrates on some fronts, and I think it could have been better. It has its faults, some the typical faults/vices fond in Borgia biographies, others very much his own, but nevertheless I have a fondness for his bio which I do not share with others bios on Cesare, or the Borgia family. It is the only bio in the English language I find myself reading again and again, and the one I would put it first as better, or more decent, in this language about Cesare. I admire his honesty, and his bravery in challenging a little bit of Cesare’s dark legend, and the baseless accusations attached to his name. I appreciate what he tried to do, the very least of what I expect from a serious historian when dealing with figures as infamous in popular imagination as Cesare and Rodrigo Borgia. There is no denying his work was one of the main works which advanced Cesare’s historical literature, and the approach to his figure. Moving slightly from the literary, colorful, villain-like character of the Italian Renaissance, towards starting to be more seriously studied as a historical figure properly. And oh my god, yes, interrupting the narrative to talk about how hot Cesare was. It’s funny you mentioned that, because I don’t remember him doing that so much (time for a re-read!), but that's one of the characteristics of the Borgian/Cesarean historical literature heh. I’m yet to read a bio where authors do not feel the need to take a moment to talk about how hot he was, some even a poetic way lol, it’s so amusing, and always the one thing I know I will agree with them, if nothing else. Also, I think Borgia bios have huge potential for drinking games! Like: take a shot of tequila every time Cesare gets badmouthed for no reason, or baselessly asserted guilty of questionable murders, fratricide, rape, and abduction. Or when Juan and Cesare envied and hated each other narrative is repeated. Or when Guicciardini, Sanuto, Cappello and Giustinian are uncritically used as credible sources for Rodrigo and Cesare. Every time Lucrezia gets painted as the Good Borgia, the pretty, passive doll who was the helpless victim of the terrible Borgia men. Or when authors get uncomfortably shippy with the Cesare/Lucrezia relationship resulting in exaggerated claims such as: Lucrezia was Cesare’s only exception, or they were unusually close as siblings, etc. And of course, whenever Cesare’s hotness and allure has to be talked about dsjdsjsj, the list is long, and I think it will get you drunk very quickly. I know I couldn’t keep up back when I was reading Sacerdote’s bio, and I was drinking wine so. As for recs in the English language, I would say Woodward’s bio has its value in terms of sources and historical documents. I also think his analysis about politics, about Cesare’s goverment in the Romagna, and also concerning the conclave of 1503 are generally good. His last five, four chapters are the best ones imo, so if you are interested in these points I mentioned, it might be worth checking out. I would just open a caveat saying that as far as a biography about the person of Cesare Borgia is concerned, it is weak and to be read with a grain of salt. I was mostly unimpressive by his work on that front, and I thought about quitting time and again. He likes presenting himself as the impartial historian, (a big red flag that only makes me twice as cautious when reading any historical work) writing in a mostly sober tone, but of course like all scholars, all people, he has his bias, and they do come to surface from time to time. He displays an peculiar antipathy and ill will towards Cesare at times, which leads to harsh, confusing, unsubstantiated claims about his character and some of the events about his life. In contrast, you can see he is more benevolent and fair towards Rodrigo Borgia, and a constant thought I had while reading his bio was that he obviously chose the wrong Borgia to write a bio on. Had he chose Rodrigo as his Borgia subject, I believe we would have had a pretty good bio about him and his papacy.

[hornsandthings]

a second time within these arms;

pairing: daryl dixon x reader

summary: having been separated from the group around the prison era, reader has been assumed dead for months. upon the group’s arrival at hilltop, however, daryl and the reader are reunited.

word count: 1628 // fluff & angst & exposition lol // i hope daryl’s in character?? he’s a big, surly, quiet hothead of a contradiction, but i love him :(

it has been a long time since you heard the moans of walkers.

it used to be a constant; a reminder of the folly of man and what the world had become. at first, it was an alarm to warn of danger – this was what kept you alive long enough to find the quarry camp outside atlanta. then human adaptability took root: you got used to it, and carried on. shane showed you guns; glenn taught you logistics; rick gave you the courage to endure. you were hardened, and so the groans devolved from an anxiety to an annoyance.

it stayed like that for a while. the moans were always there – sometimes they carried on the wind across the greene family farm – but they weren’t a guaranteed death knell anymore. you felt so damn secure in what the group had found there that your heart started to race for a different reason. eventually you learned that it – love – was one of the most dangerous things to do in this new world; but also the most rebellious.

and daryl dixon had always been one to defy.

it must have been something about his hands, as calloused as they were. they had adorned arrows with the feathers you gathered for him; pulled you back from several enemies; held you close during rare kisses; held your own when you were in pain. the two of you might’ve been a fitful thing, slow and discreet and unconventional, but it was real - sometimes so much so that things could be raw, all red and painful and vulnerable. but he was warmth, he was security, he was the one who kept you from losing your agency. you couldn’t deny it: daryl had taken your heart in such an absolute sweeping way that sometimes you weren’t sorry for the uglier things you’d done, because the both of you were still breathing.

new places, people, priorities; and soon the walkers’ groaning faded into the background, became the new white noise. once or twice a woodbury resident had turned to you while on duty at the prison fences, wide-eyed and swearing that a walker had moaned a word to them. but that was nonsense to you; the groans were always unintelligible.

at least, until you found yourself alone again.

on that trek north, the walkers had been your only company, their moans the only language you could understand for three long months. it became a never-ending chorus, a steadfast radio signal carrying you into the new era: post-apocalypse. the loss had been so great that you had decided to just throw yourself to the wolves too, flatline into something that behaved more dead than alive – not that the distinction was so clear anymore.

it had been so stupid, the way you got separated. you were out helping to search for those wild boars when looters caught you at a disadvantage, knocking you out so well that you didn’t ever remember waking up, only becoming lucid again. by then, you were in a whole other state, so lost in the woods that you weren’t ever going to make it back.

so you just kept going, careless, aimless. it was paul who had found you – you’d been so out of it that you took his moniker as the truth for a while, believing him to the messiah and fearing god for the first time in your life – and brought you here, to hilltop: the first and only place where you couldn’t hear the walkers’ lament.

right now, sitting in the courtyard as you cleaned the bark off some branches, you realised you were coming up on six months as serving as some kind of all-rounder. the structure here might’ve been an estate, but it felt more like a prison than the correctional facility ever did. there was a time when you had considered going back to georgia, but that required the kind of strength you didn’t have anymore.

“stop right there!”

you cocked your head, looking over to the sentries. they were brandishing their spears, they very kind you were currently trying to make more of.

“open the gates, cal.”

“jesus, what the hell is this?”

a rumble of multiple voices. you continued to carve at the branch, unbothered. you might’ve been a little better now, but the numbness that had almost consumed you… it still lingered.

the gates opened, and in walked paul with familiar faces – the doctor, a handful of the runners – and then also familiar faces, those which you thought you’d never see again, and your breath hitched and your heart stopped and you stumbled to your feet, task forgotten, dizzy and sick and sweating and believing—

you wiped hard at your eyes, expecting the stars but surprised to still see them there, rick and glenn and michonne and—and—

“daryl,” you breathed, the branch snapping beneath your feet. paul still held their attention with some explanation of hilltop—

“barrington house…”

—as you tried to move, to speak, but there was a terribly painful lump in your throat—

“…history museum…”

—and for the first time in your life you loved god, because miracles like this were surely divine. he was standing right there,only a few yards away, same jacket same pants same boots—

“…keep running after—”

“daryl!” you shouted, finally finding your voice, drawing all the attention and then he was looking at you, brows furrowing as he took one step back. but you were coming, and the realisation was in his eyes, in that one breathy mumble of your name. daryl swung the rifle over his shoulder just in time to catch you in his arms, his grunt right next to your ear.

you wrapped your arms and legs around him, not caring about the weapons that were digging into you. all you registered was him, daryl dixon, holding you tight. and then you were crying – or perhaps you’d been doing so this whole time – but he didn’t let go, his own shaky breaths warming your neck.

i—you—how—

thoughts running a hundred miles a minute, there were so many things you wanted to say, to explain, to apologise for, but the only thing you were capable of was a quiet sob. words were failing you, but you didn’t need them. not with him.

swallowing hard, you lifted your head and nudged his until you could press your lips against daryl’s own, tasting salt and smoke. it was wet, and hard, a little messy, but daryl’s hand cradled the back of your head to keep you right there against his mouth, letting the kiss linger, letting it last.

you pulled away so slowly, hand cupping his jaw to feel the scrape of stubble. was this real, or had you finally lost your mind? you searched his eyes, taking the time to just see him again. trembling, you pushed some of the hair away from his eyes, heart clenching as you realised you had started to forget some of the smaller details of his face.

“thought you were dead,” he confessed, the confusion and relief still unable to overcome that characteristic low growl to his voice. the mere sound of it had your eyes welling up again, and you gritted your teeth to keep the tears from falling. “we found nothin’ but remains… but it was your jacket, your pack—”

“i got—” you started, but then you shook your head, hands covering your face. daryl carefully set you down amidst the murmur of conversation, hand sliding to your wrist before he entwined his fingers with yours. “got a-attacked. concussion. got so l-lost… ended up here.”

“we mourned you,” rick spluttered, still in the throes of disbelief. daryl winced, shaking his head as guilt wormed its way past the shock.

“the tracks were messed up—thought it was walkers—should’ve seen it was fuckin’—”

“no, no” you started, voice cracking as you clutched at his shirt, not caring whether they had spent time looking for you or had made the call upon seeing whatever mess had been left behind. what mattered was that they were here, and so were you. these words were on the tip of your tongue, but it still felt like you were dyinga little, all this hope and joy an absolute bombardment upon a weathered heart.

daryl gathered you up in his arms again, eyeing paul and the rest of hilltop’s onlookers over your shoulder. “you’re comin’ back with us,” he said, low enough for only you to hear. all you could do was nod, knowing there were things he wanted to say but couldn’t, not in the company of strangers – but then he voiced one of them regardless. “missed you like hell.”

and finally—finally—there was a smile on your face, even if it was shaky. “i thought about you every day,” you whispered, and he squeezed you tighter for a moment in acknowledgement. paul was speaking again, and from the tension in daryl’s shoulders you knew his attention had shifted at the mention of gregory.

it had all happened so fast that it seemed like stop-motion frames, nonlinear and sporadic; surreal. still shell-shocked and utterly floored by it all, you did your best to regain your composure. all you wanted was shadow and privacy and daryl dixon to share it with, just a little while alone to relearn the intimacy that was meant for him only. you knew there’d be subtle differences for you and him to discover, and casting a glance up at him, you hoped time would be kind enough to allow you this reprieve.

after all, to find each other again after all this time, after all those miles… it gave you the strength to indeed have hope again.

[kailedger]

for all the YOI fanfic author, p.2

Oh wow, let me tell you, I really didn't expect the previous post on Russian culture to blow up ahaha (Here’s the link to it, in case you’re wondering: https://kailedger.tumblr.com/post/621351027189350400/for-all-the-yoi-fanfic-authors) But since it did, I decided to make a part two, sort of? It's not gonna be about mistakes in fanfiction, but more about things English-speaking authors don't mention simply because they don't know they exist.

I’ll give you the general info and then maybe throw some thoughts about how specific YOI characters would relate to that info in my personal opinion.

HOLIDAYS. We have a lot of those TBH, but I'll mention the most important ones - the ones for which we have official days off. I mean, yeah, you can find a list of those in Wikipedia, if you want, but it doesn't actually tell you the reality of things. I've already mentioned the New Year in the previous post, so let’s skip it.

23rd of February is the Defender of the Fatherland Day. It's actually for those who served in the army, but the tradition is to congratulate everyone who's male. Must have something to do with the fact that on 8th of March we have an International Women's Day, when we congratulate everyone who's female. Doesn't really make sense to me, since, you know, there are women in the army too. And a lot of men haven't served a day in their life, what the hell do I have to thank them for? (Here's an example: my dad used to be in the navy, submarine's captain actually, and every year when I congratulate him, he says something along the lines of "Why? There was no war conflict when I served". That's him being humble, but still, the point is there).

ANYWAY! We're not very big on celebrations of these two holidays, most of the time you just give a call to your respective male/female friends and relatives, give flowers to the ladies and just... enjoy your day off?

 Next one is the May holidays. Those are usually on the 1-3 of May, the official name (as Wiki states) is "The Day of Spring and Labour". Honestly, no one uses it lol We just say "the first May holidays" (since we also have the second, that's how much we don't wanna work in May; kinda ironic the holiday is called "the day of labour").

You don't congratulate anyone on this day, usually you just have a couple of days off. If we're lucky, the weather would be nice and then people go to the countryside to have a (oh my god, this is gonna be a mouthful) SHASHLYKI. We'll get back to this thing, and you know why? Since if you want someone to embrace the real Russian culture, you would make them go to shashlyki, trust me.

 The second May holiday is the Victory Day, and it's kinda... controversial in a way. It is a big celebration for the victory in World War II. Soviet Union suffered a lot during the war with the Nazi Germany, St. Petersburg was under the siege for more than TWO YEARS. And this holiday is both somber and happy since thanks to our ancestors we survived this hell and are now able to live in peace. The celebration is pretty big on official levels - there are military parades everywhere, concerts, people thank the war veterans (there are precious few of them left by now). When I was still in school, they made us visit those parades every year. Guess what? I've never been to a single parade since I graduated. It's not that I don't value the heroism of people who fought in WWII, it's that I think our government uses this holiday to brag how great we are (or, rather, THEY are), 'cause they haven't done anything worth of praise since 1945, which is... depressing, when you think of it. The ridiculous thing is the parade was canceled this year due to coronavirus, but GUESS WHAT? They've used BILLIONS OF DOLLARS to still have it on 24th of June. While the rate of people getting sick is still abnormally high. All because on the 1st of July we're having a vote on the constitution amendments and our government needs an extra boost in patriotism from our people (should I mention some of the amendments are homophobic? Yeah, it sucks).

Well... that was a rant completely offtopic lol. But, you know, this is the opinion of the most people below the age of 35. Also a huge problem here in Russia. Anyway, as I was saying. Used to be a really great holiday where we thanked the veterans and were reminded of the price they paid. Now it's just a sad excuse for the government to waste money sigh

So, a day off. Some fireworks, a hell lot of traffic problems due to parades. Not much else, if you're from the younger generation.

 Same thing goes to the 12th of June. Officially a "Russia Day", but since up until the point I graduated from the uni I had summer holidays, I barely even acknowledged the holiday, cause I didn't have to study/work anyway. So like... I lived my whole life here in Russia, and I have no idea why we celebrate this holiday on the 12th of June. I can google it right now, but that kind of would contradict my point here lol.

The last one is on the 3-4 of November. I think it's called something like "Unity Day", but, again, no idea why. Most of the time we just call it "the November holidays" or even "fall holidays". Honestly, most of the time we just care about the days off, especially if the holiday is supposed to be "patriotic". (When I put it like this, we kinda sound like assholes. Probably cause we are lol).

Birthdays mainly depend on the specific person. I used to love my birthdays and it was a big holiday for me when I was a kid, but then I turned 18 and it kinda lost its charm. You still celebrate it, especially if the date is something like 30, 35, 40, 45 and so on. But it gets less and less exciting over the years. I gather my friends at home and just have drinks, my fiance goes to a bar on his birthday. Not very... celebratory, ya know?

So. YOI characters. ALL OF THEM would definitely celebrate New Year. They would probably send some congratulations on 23rd of February and 8th of March. It you think of the Russian rinkmates as friends, they can go the countryside together on the first May holidays, but not actually do anything on the Victory Day (Yakov may attend the parade since he’s from the older generation). Nothing specific to do on 12th of June or November holidays, most likely the rink would be closed, so, like, just a day off.

  And now to the important stuff. SHASHLYKI. Oh my god guys, I’m so excited, cause this is one of those things that is AWESOME in Russian culture. And also makes most of the foreigners really confused. But it has some similarities with the American barbeque gatherings, I think.

First of all, many of us live in big cities (like I live in St. Petersburg for example), but we still have countryside houses. Sometimes it’s where our grandparents live, sometimes we buy it specifically. The thing is – we usually go to these places we call “dacha” to have some rest from the noise of the big city and enjoy the fresh air. Usually dachas have gardens, my mom is crazy about all this greenery stuff (I personally don’t see what’s the big deal with taking care of the plants, but I was told it comes with age ;D).

And to enjoy the experience even more we have shashlyki. It’s usually grilled meat (chicken, pork, whichever you prefer) and vegetables, but the process is what makes it really fun. Most families have their own recipes for marinated meat, you prepare it beforehand. Then, on the day, you make some snacks (salted pickles and fresh vegetables come to my mind immediately; pickles are like a must-have, it’s almost an obligatory food since it goes really well with vodka lol). While some of the people sit around the table, have drinks and catch up, there’s usually one person responsible for grilling meat. And this process is very important – it’s gotta be cooked on the brazier with actual flame (or, more like, coals). You put pieces of meat on a metallic skewer and then grill it (I think there’s the word “kebab”, but we usually use it to describe an entirely different meal, so, shashlyk it is). And let me tell you – having a freshly grilled shashlyk with some vegetables and a drink like wine (or vodka if you’re into it) is the best feeling in the world.

So you’re enjoying the fresh air, really tasty meal, have some drinks with family or/and friends. A pretty common thing (not for everyone, but I personally love it) is having someone play the guitar and sing songs around the campfire. The songs we sing are usually either stupid or old, and you would never just casually listen to those on your own, but when the time comes and you sit with the guitar, somehow EVERYONE knows the lyrics. The point is to have fun, not make a concert out of it :)

I actually think that Victor and the rest of the gang would at least try to give Yuuri (and other non-Russians, who knows) this kind of experience. I also headcanon someone (Otabek or maybe Victor himself) knowing how to play the guitar. But I wouldn’t trust Victor with the grilling, honestly, it requires a lot of attention, and… well… you all know what Victor is like ;D

  And since we’re on the topic of music, let’s discuss it. Me and a dear friend of mine @clarie-foster, who also happens to be both Russian and a YOI fan, had a lot of headcanons on this.

What you need to know, is when it comes to music, here in Russia we’re pretty flexible. The popular music is the one you can here everywhere, it’s on European and American charts, like, I dunno, Beyonce, Ed Sheeran, Gaga etc. There’s Russian pop-music and, honestly, it sucks lol. Most of the time I listen to it cause it’s dumb and catchy. There are some good artists, of course, I can throw you a couple of name bands like “Ночные Снайперы”, “Сплин”, “Би-2”, but the songs are in Russian, and although the lyrics are pretty damn good, they’re kinda hard to understand if you don’t know the language (I mean, just reading the translation won’t give you the whole experience). And those bands are… depressing? In a way? Not that the songs are extremely dark or something, but you kind of listen to those in a melancholic mood. Me and one of my best friends used to go out on the balcony in summer, sit wrapped in a blanket and listen to those songs. Great experience, if a little sad.

BUT. There’s the old pop-music. We have some of those artists, who were really popular when my parents were young and somehow still popular these days. Their music is honestly average – the tunes might be catchy, the lyrics are mediocre at best, but… when you have a little bit to drink, you get in that mood, where you start singing those old pop-songs. And it’s not like listening to ABBA or, I don’t know, A-ha, since those are classic and still good these days. Russian pop-songs SUCK, they’re horrible, but somehow that is the best kind of music when you’re drunk.

I personally think Victor is one of those people who would totally jam to the old Russian pop. It’s funny, since most of it is from female singers (There’s literally a song from a Russian singer Irina Allegrova called “Go crazy, wild empress”, no kidding). I just can picture him so clearly being drunk and singing those old songs with abandon lol.

Mila would probably join him while laughing hysterically. Georgi too, since he’s a drama queen. And Yuri would make all kinds of disgusted faces.

 Two facts which I have never seen being mentioned in fanfiction, which is really weird. So Victor lives in St. Petersburg, as we all saw from those last scenes in the anime (in the background you can see actual places from St. P like our sports stadium). And St. Petersburg is mostly known for two things: bridges and white nights.

WHITE NIGHTS OH MY GOD. I don’t want to go to deep into the details since I don’t really understand the nature of this thing (something to do with sun not really going down? I dunno), but in summer, especially in June and July it basically doesn’t get dark in St. Petersburg. I mean, the sun does go down, you can see the sunset and everything, but the sky stays like… white-grey, almost as though it’s midday, just cloudy. Like we’re in the middle of white nights right now, and the darkest hour is around 1 am, but even then it doesn’t really get dark at all. A lot of people from other cities and countries get confused by it, like, there was this time when Stephen Colbert was a guest on a Russian talk-show and he had a hilarious convo with the host. It was something like this: “So I’ve been in St. Petersburg for one day. It has lasted for 46 hours. Please tell me if the sun will ever go down, ‘cause I’m going crazy”.

For us common people white nights can get really annoying, if your curtains are not black-out, you can have a hard time falling asleep (since, you know, it’s too freaking bright outside). But it’s actually really great for late-night walks and is considered really romantic.

And, speaking of romantic, the bridges! What’s so special about those, you’d think. So St. Petersburg is built on the river Neva – it’s like really big, has a lot of tributaries and distributaries and flows through the whole city. Hence why we have tons of bridges.

And those bridges are drawing bridges, meaning they are separated in the middle by a special mechanism and are being lifted in the air so that the trade ships can pass underneath them. The most impressive one is the Palace Bridge – it’s one of the main sightseeing spots in the city. For most tourists it’s obligatory to visit St. Petersburg and see the drawing of the Palace Bridge. It happens at night, around the time of 1 am or 2 am. It’s really pretty, cause there are lights everywhere, you can see the ships passing by and the view of this huge structure being lifted in the air is really magnificent. Combine it with the white nights and you’ll have one of the most romantic dates you can have here in Russia.

(On the more realistic and depressing note: despite the drawing of the bridges being really beautiful, it’s SUCH a pain in the ass for the regular people. Like, because of the drawing you can’t really get from one side of the city to another. For example, I live in the northern part and if for some reason I couldn’t get to it from the center of the city before the drawing of the bridges, I’m stuck till like 4 or 5 am. Subway only opens at 6 am, and although we have a couple of bridges which never draw, those are on the outskirts of the city, so taking an uber and driving there would cost you a lot of money and also would take like and extra hour or so. Thankfully, the drawing of the bridges lasts only from April to October-November, while the ship navigation on the Neva river is possible).

Last, but not least, SOCIAL MEDIA.

So, like, Instagram is pretty popular in Russia and so is Twitter. But what people rarely mention is our own social media site – Vkontakte (www.vk.com, if you’re interested). It started to become popular in like… 2008, I think? Basically it used to be and knock-off from Facebook, even the color scheme is the same. It became more and more popular over the years, since Facebook was never really a thing in Russia (like, I had a profile there, but I’ve never used it). Now it’s like… if you don’t have a VK profile, it’s super weird lol. I communicate with most of my friends through it, since it has a lot of really cool features: chats, group chats, communities, music, videos and photos. It’s gotten so big that VK even hosts its own music festival each year with a lot of popular Russian artists.

Victor is a social butterfly, so he would definitely have a VK profile. So would Mila, Yuri and Georgi, I personally think most of their communication would be through it. Maybe they would even force Yuuri to create a profile, but he’s not really into social media much, so he wouldn’t really use it.

 I think that’s it for now. Like I said, if you have any questions, feel free to ask, I would be happy to answer! ;)

[otonymous]

The Taming of the Fox: Lucien’s Firsts (NSFW Headcanon)

Hey Dear Nonnies,

Thank you both for your incredibly kind words and for waiting so patiently for these Lucien headcanons 💕You are absolutely right...I am a total hot mess when it comes to Lucien, and with the King’s birthday coming up on November 15th, I figured now’s the time to finally finish up this WIP that’s been lingering around for months 😂

Warning: NSFW/18+: Explicit/graphic language - reader discretion is advised.  

Naughtiness ensues after the cut! 

Dark Knights In White Coats: Your Relationship With Lucien:

Things will never be "just comfortable” with Lucien, as he has a knack for keeping you on your toes.  He’ll make your heart race with the slightest touch, the briefest of glances…the most lascivious words spoken with the elegant voice of a gentleman

This will be the case regardless of how long you've been together.  In a sense, your relationship will never lose that initial spark of excitement

The man is a scorpio and has a lot of traits that typically characterize natives of this sign (according to the numerous astrology websites I’ve combed through in my lifetime LOL - no offence meant to any lovely scorpio readers!): tall, dark and handsome, intense, guarded and mysterious.  Full of an effortless sensuality and prone to jealousy

He’s the type of man to whisper sweet nothings in your ear while he’s binding your hands to the bedpost or has you bent over his knee

With Lucien, there is always something new to discover, and there are times when you feel like you will never fully understand the depths and complexities of this man.  And like a moth drawn to flame, this will both excite and disconcert you

But one thing will always, always, be crystal clear and unshakeable: the strength and sincerity of his love for you

Lucien is seemingly a man of contradictions, capable of drawing people in with his allure while simultaneously setting them on edge (this is canon)

Get ready to be the envy of all the girls: women are making eyes at Lucien left, right and centre wherever he goes, but he never spares them a single glance — the man only has eyes for you

Lucien is an INTENSE lover in addition to being the perfect gentleman: he will make you feel like the only other person in the world

When he’s with you, you’re the sole focus of his attention: he’s looking you in the eye, nodding his head while you speak, asking the right questions and making appropriate insights.  It’s not so much a casual conversation than really connecting with one another, practically spiritual at times.  He’s not one for meaningless small talk

Even when you’re not with him, you’re never far from his mind.  He’s frequently showering you with gifts for no reason other than the fact that they reminded him of you in some way: a bouquet of your favourite blooms that he saw in the florist’s storefront, a knitted scarf because he remembered the way you pulled up the collar of your coat when he last picked you up from work, a delicate pendant necklace because he can’t get the contours of your collarbones out of his head

He’s kissing your hand, opening doors, pulling out chairs, draping his coat over your shoulders as you walk through the park at dusk on a cool fall evening

He’s tucking stray hairs behind your ear and walking on the outside of the sidewalk to shield you from traffic

He’s also whisking you away into shadowy corners and dark alleyways, kissing you breathless as he presses you up against cool brick — his fervent hand exploring beneath your skirt before he hoists your legs to wrap them about his muscular waist  

You’ve never felt this way about any one else before, and you know you never will again

Being in love with Lucien is like riding a roller coaster: exhilarating, and not for the faint of heart

Kiss Me:

Your first kiss with Lucien is as contradictory as the man himself: objectively tame, yet the most sensual kiss you’ve ever received

After inviting you to an evening screening of Hitchcock’s Rear Window at the cinema, he sees you to your door, patiently waiting as you rummage through your purse for your keys

The man is standing so close that the intensity of his gaze on the back of your neck is practically palpable, so much so that you almost drop your keys when you find them

And when you finally manage to open the door, you’re lingering awkwardly at the threshold, trying to think of any reason at all to stave off that awful word, “Goodbye”

Lucien suddenly reaches out a large hand to gently finger an earring before those elegantly tapered tips graze the sensitive skin of your lobe, sending electricity down your spine and goosebumps blooming across your neck and chest

“I’ve never seen this pair on you before.  Could it be that you got them especially for our date?”

Embarrassed to be found out and not wanting to own up to how eager you were to see Lucien outside a professional capacity, you avert your gaze, staring intently at the ground as your face flushed red

Leaning in closer, the handsome tease chuckles softly, breath hot against your ear when he whispers: “Would you think me foolish if I told you that makes me very happy?"

You're positive your heart is going to beat its way out of your chest

Then slowly…slowly…Lucien’s lips cross from ear to cheek, torturously close to touch as his breath drags light across the ultra fine hairs of your skin

In the meantime, the professor's hand has travelled to the nape of your neck, thumb drawing gentle circles on your skin even as his other arm wraps around your waist to pull you impossibly close

And when those soft lips hover mere millimetres away from yours, you’ve already fallen so deeply into those dark violet eyes that the press of his mouth on your own is as natural as breathing, your lips parting in a desperate plea for him to deepen the kiss

Then, the tip of his tongue lightly traces the inside of your lips, grazing the edges of your teeth before Lucien pulls away to leave you breathless and wanting as he whispers, “Sweet dreams,” with the most devilish smirk

Forget sweet dreams, sleep itself will prove elusive as you spend the night incredibly pent up, knowing a mere wall is the only thing separating you from your seductive neighbour

Say I Love You:

Note: this portion of the headcanon was heavily inspired by Lucien’s Autumn Blaze date

It will take a while for Lucien to tell you he loves you

But when he does, the force and solemnity of his confession leaves absolutely no doubt that this is no mere lip service, that even if you doubt whether the sun will rise the following day, you cannot doubt that — body, heart and soul — Lucien loves you with every fibre of his being

The professor makes good on his promise to take you to visit the Maple Trail in Canada

And there, the two of you wander through a wooded area, secluded amongst the serenity of maple trees with their lush, crimson foliage

Suddenly, a wind blows, soft but insistent to gently shake the boughs until the bright blue sky is momentarily a blazing blur of red, leaves pulled from branches to float to the ground like tiny dancers, as if you and Lucien were encased within some fantastic snow globe

Completely fascinated, it isn't until you turn to Lucien to point out the swirling colours that you see him already staring intently at you, the yearning and melancholy etched into those dark eyes and handsome face made more poignant by the swirls of red that occasionally cut across your vision of the man standing a short distance away, the afternoon sun filtering through a dwindling canopy to bathe him in dappled brilliance.  He never seemed more dignified in his long, black coat as he did amidst a backdrop of vermilion bursts

The man looks almost ethereal.  And for a moment, you're afraid to even speak, let alone touch him, for fear his very being might disperse like mist before your eyes

“I love you.”

His voice is so soft and low that you wonder whether you imagined the words, carried away by an unforgiving gust of wind as soon as they formed on the tip of his tongue.  And just as you open your mouth to respond, you freeze…a nebulous sense of dread rendering you still and mute

You finally regain your senses at the sound of leaves crunching crisp under the soles of Lucien’s shoes as he approaches, but it isn’t until he says, “You’re cold,” that you realize your hands were shaking at your sides.

The professor swiftly unbuttons his wool coat and gently pulls you to his broad chest before wrapping it around you both.  His radiant heat and fresh, clean scent  — simultaneously arousing and comforting — stirs up a keen ache from the pit of your stomach that is quieted the further you bury your face into those hard pecs, allowing the steady beat of his heart to calm your own

Wrapping your arms tightly around his waist and willing your touch to transmit the emotions you couldn’t find the words to convey at the moment, the absolute euphoria you felt to hear those words fall from Lucien’s lips frightens you.  Because you know, in your heart of hearts, that no matter what happens, you would never love another person the way you loved Lucien.

The First Taste:

As with the professor's confession of love, Lucien isn’t one to rush into sex

When you finally get to doing the deed, it will be passionate, intense, and the closest you'll ever get to a spiritual experience

It will feel like merging physically and emotionally with a soulmate.  Like being reunited with someone who has loved you deeply in every single incarnation of your past lives

It will also absolutely ruin you for anyone else

That first night, you are both almost crazed in your passion, swept up in such a frenzy you’re already clawing at each other’s clothes before the door is even closed

It may have something to do with the fact that the two of you have wanted to jump each other’s bones since day one, despite the fact that you have magically managed to hold out till now.  The delayed gratification will make the act all the more sweet and intense

Lucien’s large hand has got your wrists pinned together above your head even as he’s kicking the door shut, his body pressing yours insistently against the wall as your legs part around his muscular thigh.  Meanwhile, his other hand yanks off his tie, fingers unbuttoning the collar of his dress shirt, which has grown altogether too constrictive, much like the crotch of his pants 😆

The rhythm of his breath is hypnotic as the professor licks the delicate column of your neck in broad strokes before sucking on the tender skin just at the jugular, Lucien deriving indescribable pleasure to feel the minute beat of your pulse against the tip of his tongue

And when he sees the colours that bloom on your flesh as a result of his attentions, he cannot help but smile in admiration at how beautifully marked you are as his woman

You bury your face in the silky strands of Lucien’s ebony hair, surrendering to this man as you drown in his intoxicating scent: the sweetness of freshly-snipped grass and the vitality of rain-drenched earth.  And everything about this moment — about you and him together  — just feels so natural, kismet.  Meant to be.

Then suddenly, the heat that had been simmering beneath your skin flares, and you positively burn for want of his touch on your bare flesh.  So when his hands grip the silk of your blouse to rip it open, your chest heaves in relief as you moan into his kiss, prompting Lucien to deepen it by slipping his tongue further into your mouth

At this point, you're tearing at Lucien's dress shirt and shamelessly grinding onto his thigh, seeking even the slightest bit of friction to ease the intense yearning for release

Your knees go weak when Lucien unhooks your bra to gently slide the straps down your arms, a reverent look upon his face as he takes a moment to admire your breasts before bending to suck a nipple into his wet, hot mouth — one hand pinching and rolling the other to a hardened peak as the other reaches down to feel the moisture dripping between your legs, making a mess of his pants even through satin and lace.

His fingers drive you insane, stroking the swell of your folds through the slick fabric before hooking around to touch you directly, the tight circles he drew about your clit making you twitch before you clenched around his index, middle…and then ring fingers, diving deep in unison until the wet sounds compete with your panting breaths in an otherwise silent room

When the professor finally removes his hand from your pussy, he brings those glistening digits to his lips, making a show of licking your arousal from each finger as he remarks in a deep, husky voice about the sweetness of your taste

Finally pulling off his dress shirt to reveal the perfection that is his broad chest, defined torso and muscular arms, Lucien drops to his knees, gently pulling down your skirt and underwear before he drapes your leg over his shoulder, hands steadying you as he tastes you directly, lips pressing soft on the inside of your thighs before his tongue is running greedily along the length of your folds as if he were trying to slake an unquenchable thirst

Just when you’re about to topple over from a shuddering climax, Lucien wraps your legs around his waist and carries you over to the bed, gently laying you down and kissing your forehead before he rises to step out of his pants

You bite back a gasp when you finally see his erection.  Sure, you had palmed it many, many times before during countless make-out sessions, but you had never seen the full extent of Lucien’s length and girth.  

You secretly thrill at the thought of taking such a well-endowed man within yourself, biting your lip to think of the bittersweetness of pleasure mixed with a hint of pain 

Fighting to control the impatient way your hips lift towards the professor as he coats his cock in your juices — his heat searing as it teased about your entrance — you focus instead on the intensity of his eyes, solemnly locked on yours even as his jaw trembled to feel you envelop him, impossibly tight as he began to push into you

Ever the considerate lover, Lucien pushes in gradually, giving you time to accommodate him - every inch by delicious inch - until he is fully sheathed to the hilt, your pussy clenching even as you breathed deep in an attempt to relax and open yourself further for him

Then, when you smile up at him, Lucien begins to move again, hips slow at first to give you a taste of things to come before he builds up speed, throwing your legs over his shoulders to allow himself to plough deeper into you.  You can literally feel him at the pit of your stomach.

At this point, the headboard is hitting the wall in time to Lucien’s hard thrusts against your body (you make a mental note to apologize to the neighbours later and say you were hanging pictures in the middle of the night)

When the professor suddenly adjusts his angle and hits that spot, his fingers reach once more between your legs to rub at your clit and you fall apart in the midst of the most intense orgasm you’ve ever experienced in your life

Pressing his mouth to yours in another desperate kiss, Lucien's release follows soon after.  And there is something so incredibly satisfying about feeling him spill hot and deep within your body, the man leaving behind a piece of himself like the way he made a home within your heart

And as he pulls you close within a warm embrace, you lay your head against his chest, the gradual descent of his heart rate lulling your pleasantly exhausted body to sleep

“Goodnight, my little butterfly," Lucien whispers, watching your eyelids flutter under the influence of sleep like delicate wings.  His heart has never, ever, felt so full.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You made it to the end! 😆 Thanks so much for reading, and check out more of my work here! 📚

[obeymematches]

Hello ♡

I hope you're doing well! I've been following your blog for a while now and I've finally gained enough courage to send in a matchup request. This is my first request here so I hope I did well in describing myself! Also, I'm sorry if my grammar's bad ^^'

To start off, my mbti is infp-t while my enneagram is 4w3. I'm a really private person and it can be quite challenging to really know me - which explains my small social circle. Those who are close to me has said that I'm actually really hard to read (I swear it wasn't intentional! I really thought I was easy to read but I was wrong after all lol). In social settings, I'm often quiet and prefer observing rather than engaging myself with other people. I would give them a smile to be polite though but I won't talk unless it's about something important. I'll always make sure to think twice before I talk too, so that I wouldn't offend anyone by accident. While I'm not much of a talker, I won't hesitate to speak up if anyone disrespects my beliefs and personal values.

Despite how unapproachable I may appear, I'm a huge emotional mess and I have a deep interest in trying to understand other people. I do have the desire to be noticed by others but at the same time, I kinda didn't want to draw too much attention on me. When I'm around people that I'm comfortable with, I won't even bother to hold back my feelings. I love trying to make people happy and I'm always ready to listen to other people's problems, hoping so that I could lessen their worries and burdens. As an empath, I can absorb other people's emotions and put myself in their place - though, it can be overwhelming for me sometimes. I'm also quite affectionate and goofy once I'm comfy with the person.

I'm protective over the people I love and will do anything I can to defend them if things go wrong. While I dislike arguments and conflicts, I won't hesitate to fight someone if they bother the ones I'm close with. I also have a really huge soft spot for children lol. I'm quite adventurous and a curious person by nature. I always try new things for new experiences since I get bored easily. I had to admit that I have the attention span of a goldfish. Also, I'm pretty ambitious but I gotta admit to my laziness. Also also, I'm simultaneously am and not competitive. Honestly, I'm a walking contradiction (I'm literally confused with my own personality sometimes).

My bad qualities would be that I can be too idealistic and I'm also procrastinative. I can be impractical too. There are also times when I let my insecurities overtake my mind and during those times, I will become more distant. I'm also prone to taking things personally and is easily offended. When I'm offended, I'll become very sarcastic (I'll even act all petty if I'm too offended and honestly, it wasn't something that I'm proud of at all). I can be pessimistic too when things are rough and I tend to underestimate myself a lot. I'm also an overthinker and easily distracted. I can lose track of thoughts while I was speaking if I'm too excited about the topic because my brain will go all over the place and become scattered. ^^'

I love expressing myself through art! I'm still in the process of improving my skills for digital paintings tho. My hobbies include drawing, listening to classical music and lo-fi, daydreaming and reading. I'm also really interested in learning languages and psychology. Other than that, I find it fun to learn about other people's beliefs!

What I look for in a partner is someone who is confident, would take the time to really understand me for who I am and someone who is just as adventurous as me! I would love to explore new things and get ourselves lost in a huge city together or something ya know 😂 I thought that it would be so much fun and thrilling to figure things out together while learning new stuff. Other than that, I want them to accept me for who I truly am without any judgement. I'm more than open to making a few changes in my lifestyle in order to improve myself for them, but I really hope they'll be able to do the same thing for me ^^ I really appreciate it when someone's matured, respectful, open-minded and thoughtful. Since I can be really non-confrontational during conflicts, I would also really appreciate it if they have the effort to pull me out from my headspace and talk things out with me and resolve the issue. I also appreciate intelligence and patience in a partner.

Thank you for taking the time to read my description and thank you for the matchup! I'm sorry if it's too long for your liking tho! I really love your blog so keep up the good work ♡

------

Hi!!!

Thank you for sending in a request! awwwwww i’m happy you worked up the courage <3

I hope you like the result! 

I have Simeon, Diavolo, Solomon and Satan on my mind..

Okay so I decided to match you with Solomon!

Here is why: 

So you mention confidence is super important to you so that narrows down the circle to him and Diavolo. Solomon has no issues with being confident and spending time around him would probably boost your own confidence as well. 

Similar to you, Solomon is also someone who keeps quite a lot to himself and it really takes time to get to know him. Both of you being the same in this regard will probably slow things down a bit, but he is good at reading people I believe. (he is probably not on the same level as Satan but he is still really good at it) 

I think he can be quite a bit talkative, but again he does it in a way that you don’t acually get to know much about him, even when he talks a lot. This balances out the relationship well, as one of you is a bit more quiet when the other is more talkative. 

I have a feeling he would be the one to start conversations for a while. You declare yourself an unapproachable but thats ok! in his eyes that just makes you stand out more and he likes that! 

I think he would find it interesting that you are so quiet or only talk when you must, and he would probably ask you about it. like were you not feeling well? but when he learns that you are just more of an observer he would find it adorable. he kind of makes it his secret goal to make you more confident in social settings. however when its just the two of you, he is always eager to hear you out!  

I don’t think he would talk much about his worries or burdens to you even after you two open up more to each other. Definitely not major issues. But he always appreciates that you are there to listen to him in case he wants to talk about something!  Or if he does he does it rather slowly, like always telling only one part of an issue. I think he is rather independent.

Oh, he could tell you a lot about many different stuff to keep you from being bored, so no worries! like witchcraft, magic, and the like

Another reason why I picked him for you is that he is rather realistic, so he could balance out your tendencies to be idealistic. 

He is very quick to catch your changed behaviour and would notice you becoming more distant when your insecurities are taking over. But I don’t think it would make him insecure and question your relationship, like i definitely don’t see him sitting and thinking if you are about to break up or what. Instead he would make time for the two of to be private asap and he would directly ask about you acting differently and if you want to talk about it. 

Another reason why I think he is good for you is that generally he is not offensive? like some of the brothers can be, but I don’t think so it’s true for Solomon. So it’s a safe choice and there wouldn’t be any conflicts about that. 

In case someone else offends you I think he would curse them without you knowing 

Your hobbies are not exactly the same but in a healthy relationship that shouldn’t be an issue right? idk what part of of the human realm he is from but theres a chance he is not from the same country as you, and if that is the case the two of you could teach the other your mother language!

 i have a strong feeling he knows ancient latin. 

I think he is also someone who thrives to know as many stuff as possible. but like he is probably a Faust 

Oh he is very much into adventures! idk where you are at in the story so i don’t want to spoil anything but in canon he is known to have visited all the realms at least once. 

[thehollowprince]

Exact same thing happens with Stiles Stilinski, Peter Hale and Derek Hale (to a slightly lesser extent). Stans swear they love them but proceed to ignore their flaws and ignore 90% of canon. They even give Stiles Scott's personality in most fic, give Peter Deaton's role while saying Deaton is an evil bastard, froze Derek in his season 1-2 development and made him even *more* of a brooding caricature. Like, sis, at that point, just make OCs lol

Yeah. I never understood that whole phenomenon.

You go into a fandom and see characters like Stiles, or Tony Stark, or Kylo Ren, or Snape and Draco or Peter and Derek or virtually any conventionally attractive white man in a show/movie/book/comic/etc. and they're all presented as these uwu soft boys with horrible backstories, often times drastically exaggerated or even outright fabricated, that are usesld as an excuse for every bad thing, or even mildly inconvenient, they do so that we as the audience know that its "not their fault".

But then you go an actually engage with the canon source material and they're nothing like how the fandom portrays them.

I am so lucky that I had actually watched Teen Wolf before I ventured into the fandom, because if it had been the other way around, I'd have been confused as to why Scott seemsd to be the center of the show and not Stiles, or why the grumpy looking muscle man was constantly putting the moves on a teenager.

Hell, even having watched the show first I was thrown off because you go into fandom and the characters are nothing like their canon counterparts. The worst was the fandom literally stripping everything about Scott that made him Scott and just draping it over Stiles in a totally unsubtle attempt to let everyone know who they thought should be the real protagonist of the show.

The "Stiles in Scott's clothes" trope that permeated the fandom was particularly obnoxious to me because these are the same fans (usually Sterek shippers) who go out of their way to let you know they the reason they didn't like Scott was because he was "so boring". They don't like how he always has to be the good guy in every situation and he should be darker and blah blah blah. But then these very same people turn around and give all of the attributes they just claimed to hate about Scott and bedazzle Stiles with him before singing his praises. The Stiles of canon is this loud, brash, sarcastic smartass who has an inability to shut his mouth even in the the direst of situations, but the Stiles of fanon is this uwu soft boy who speaks five languages and cooks for his poor dad while struggling with his own eating disorder while being unable to sleep because of his ADHD and always having to do all the research for everyone and juggling all of his advanced classes and struggling with his attraction to an older guy while dealing with "Scott's homophobia" and.... it just goes on and on and on.

They go out of their way to create this fantastical character that doesn't at all resemble the canon Stiles in any capacity except for physical appearance, and even then that's suspect, because while Dylan O'Brien is six foot tall and decently built, the fanon version of Stiles is this perpetually smol child who wears skinny jeans and is dwarfed by Derek.

This just goes to further show that most of them view Stiles as some sort of self-insert character, which is made even weirder by the fact that so many of them are women (not all of them, but most of them). They twist canon so much to create these little scenarios for whatever fantasy they've concocted in their head that at some point the question has to be asked of not only whether or not they've actually watched the show, but if they don't enjoy anything about it that actually happens, then why are they so invested in it. It costs literally nothing to just create one's own original characters where they can say "hey, I picture this character as being played by Dylan O'Brien".

And this way, they can create their elaborate fantasies without going out of their way to twist canon and try to paint Stiles as a saint and Scott as a devil. The racist implications aside, this way they could stop erasing the character of Scott from his own narrative and maybe stop trying to smear Posey at every opportunity, or sending death threats, and all the other horrible stuff they've flung his way as if under the impression that if Tyler's doing well, then somehow that means Dylan isn't.

And that's just Teen Wolf!

How many shows or movies or comics have devolved into this giant fandom mess because of contradicting opinions regarding characters in canon and then the fanon versions that large parts of the fandom prefer? How many fandoms have devolved into a civil war because of a deliberate misappropriation of a character or characters?

I've watched as Tyler Lockwood was painted as a vicious animal in the TVD fandom so that they could prop up Klaus and make Klaroline more plausible. I've watched as Tony stans have bent over backwards to absolve Tony of every bad thing he's ever done, either intentionally or through negligence, while simultaneously condemning Steve as some kind of imperialist warlord because he wears a costume with the American flag on it. I've watched as Star Wars "fans" have stripped Finn of his entire identity - his backstory as a brainwashed child in the First Order, his exceptional Force-sensitivity, his relationships with Rey and Han - and give it all to Kylo Ren to create this Ben Solo persona.

This happens in every fandom in some form or another.

And I know someone must be reading this asking themselves what all this has to do with the original ask, and while I might have gotten a little sidetracked, the point is right there. So much of fandom discourse happens because there are those vocal members of said fandom that go out of their way to antagonize those who actually like the canon material, trying to push their fanon as what really happens, and it always devolves into this back and forth that generally ruins the enjoyment that most people get out of it.

It's a question that after all my years in fandom I still can't answer: if anyone dislikes a particular show or book or movie or whatever, to the point that they completely disregard canon, then what about it keeps them there? That's bordering on hate-watching and that sounds so sad.

[artbymesa]

Unforeseen Consequences

Admiral ZEX, The Captain, Dax

Suggestive themes but no “details”. (Not my kind of writing lol)

I’m really. not sure why my brain fixated on writing this. I was introduced to Star Control and Admiral ZEX by @zarla-s​ (hopefully this tag isn’t bothersome?). I was in the process of introducing him to some friends and it spurred the thought: Would ZEX even expect a human to respond positively to his advances? He’s probably gotten pretty articulate with deflecting rejection and criticism and judgement, but what if that wasn’t the case for once? How well would he handle it?

I apologize for however out of character or Not Canon this may be, but it was a thought that wouldn’t leave me alone until I wrote it down. And then after I started it, it got away from me. Its been a long, long time since I’ve wrote a fanfic whoo boy

I think I wrote this with the presumption of how it would take place if you could romance him in the game, and the consequences (for everyone) of that XD

“The scope of our relationship can grow as close as you wish.” Zex said with a foreign body language of bravado.

The Captain regarded him for a moment before leaning forward into the Admiral’s personal space, a grin pulling at the corner of their lips. “Oh? Close…how~….?”

Zex sputtered, caught off guard and overwhelmed by the human’s sudden, unexpected close proximity. A human had never so much as dared to tread within a couple feet of him, much less ever enough to feel their breath. He had grown rather bold with this certainty. Perhaps a measure of that was his own doing–  intentionally or not, his forthright tendencies wedging itself in between any opportunity. Being turned away, shrugged off or kept at a distance was the standard order of things. It was easy. It was predictable. And it had been so long, he never really expected that standard to be challenged. Needless to say, this threw him off.

Even still, he may have been a hopeless romantic, but he was no fool. He was aware of what the human stood to gain by winning him over. Manipulating him just to secure his military genius was low– but with a suspicious lack of human behavior like this ever before– not unheard of. He regained a brittle amount of composure, steeling over his words to obscure it. “Captain. If you intend to taunt me please do so in the way I am accustomed. I’ve hardened to the ridicule of my countrymen but faking interest in me is a different manner of cruel. If all you wish is for an alliance I am happy to oblige without the exploitation of my…weakness.”

The Captain challenged his words and moved a little closer, resting a relaxed arm on the admiral’s desk and shrugged. “I’m not faking, Zex.”

The admiral stared at it, then up at the captain when they said his name informally. Anyone else he may have corrected, but there was a warmth to it from the human that he so badly wanted to indulge. He had to confess, he had fantasized about similar circumstances and how he would conduct himself, but now that it was actual happening, he froze. He was usually so articulate but words escaped him, he was usually so well composed but this human had a way with disrupting it like a house of cards. As much as it currently worked against him, it was new to him. Exciting.

Reality began to sink in when the human didn’t recoil their appendage away, instead looked at him expectantly for a response. The gesture wasn’t an error. It was intentional. Even despite their lack of tendrils, humans had such a way with expressing emotion. It was one of the things he loved most about them. This one was a challenge to read, but everything he could gather from them seemed genuine. Which meant…

He struggled for a moment, realizing the position he had put himself in before laughing nervously. “Would you look at this? The first time a human reciprocates interest and even I succumb to a measure of my people’s distrust. You must forgive me, Captain. It has been a long time…” The admiral seemed to fight with some kind of internal conflict for a moment before the human settled it for him.

They reached out, dexterous fingers closing over his arm tendril in a comforting gesture. Their hand was warm, far warmer to the touch than he anticipated.

“You don’t have to apologize.”

Before the admiral could speak, the human was standing. And before he could ask if he had done something wrong, they were on his side of the desk.

A lot of things began to happen at once, and he opposed none of them.

-

“Zex?” The human asked, pulling on their robes not a moment before the admiral could take in one last look at their beautifully crafted anatomy akin to a living, breathing sculpture. They truly were a unique work of art forged from the galaxy and experiencing them so up close was a privilege.  The captain’s question was what pulled him out of his trance.

“Mmm?”The human studied the quiet planet outside from the window. Pensive observation stirred a thought that pricked the edge of their brow. They had such a world of emotion hidden behind subtle changes in their features. But interpretation was a different story.

“How much do you actually know about humans?”

It was a good thing VUX couldn’t blush.

“Admittedly, Captain, much more now than I did an hour ago.”

The human gave a kind but cheeky grin, looking down as if it helped them compose their words differently. Their “smile” as it were, had been toothy and startling when he first witnessed it. It contradicted what he otherwise should have interpreted as some kind of feral threat display. This was so very different. It was tender and warm, and it melted a part of him he didn’t know existed. Since then, he had been compelled to incite it as often as he could. They seemed to respond best with his banter and advances, which was a pleasure in and of its own.

“I’m serious. Be honest.”

The admiral thought for a moment.

“I know that your people are beautiful. And very clever. And resourceful. I know you are a uniquely hardy species. I’ve heard the stories of your people surviving conditions that would have easily killed others by shock alone. As I’m sure you know by now, my countrymen do not share my appreciation. They think you grotesque.”

“What else have they said about us?”

“They may have mentioned that you are stubborn. And reckless.”

“Do you believe them?”

“….I am beginning to consider it.”

“Perhaps you should.”

There was a pause.

“Why do you ask me this now?”

The Captain was quiet momentarily, but returned to Zex. Perhaps it was touch starvation, but he hadn’t realized how much he craved it until the captain returned to settling a hand against what equated to his own. They didn’t make eye contact just yet.

“The Ur Quan enslaved my people. What’s left of them.”

“Oh. Oh, dear. I was not aware. I am sorry, perhaps I’ve lived in isolation longer than I thought. I suppose that explains the lack of human visitors.” The gears began to turn. “But you arrived here in an armed starship. You weren’t given clearance to leave either, were you? You cannot be planning what I think you are planning. Captain, resisting the Ur Quan is madness.”

“And my visit here is a direct violation to your people’s alliance with the Ur Quan. I suppose if nothing else, reputation is accurate.” The human sighed. “You mentioned an alliance but I can’t expect that of you. You would be labeled a traitor. Your people already have enough reason to kill you without my interference as it is.”

“I am not attached to this planet, Captain. Nor interaction with my people, unfortunately.”

“If you think VUX are bigoted, you’ve not met enough humans.”

“How do you mean?”

“My peoples’ entire history is built on conflict and persecution. Our biggest challenge has always been coexisting with eachother. It’s a harsh lense to see it through, but that in mind it wouldn’t be fair to ask you to come with me either. Even if we do win the war, your help or not, life on Earth afterward would never be peaceful. They’ve done far more to their own people over far less. They’d tear you apart.”

“You’re suggesting this shouldn’t last.”

“I’m suggesting that we consider everything involved before this gets complicated.”

The admiral was quiet for a moment in thought. The human brought up a lot of good points, much to his displeasure. But that wasn’t going to deter him so easily.

“While I must commend the forethought, you are forgetting that tactical improvisation in dangerous situations is my specialty. Besides, this planet has always been more of a prison than a place of retirement—no matter how they attempted to sell it me. I saw through it. The whole reason I am here, Captain, is because I refused to be someone I am not. I can assure you. I would rather pursue an opportunity for a life worth living and the one that I want, however that is defined, than to live out my days rotting on this planet in fear. It would simply go against everything I stand for. I would join you on your travels… if you’d have me.”

The human sighed realizing he likely wasn’t going to let it go— not after making a conclusion like that. Not that they truly wanted to refuse him anyway.

That smile returned—quieter, more subtle this time. Almost somber. They reached over to the side of his face and stroked with the back of their hand. His eye closed, leaning into the touch with some measure of tension fading from his posture.

“I suppose it makes it easier when we’re not investing in another bunk on board.” The human teased. “And after all this is over, Alpha Cerenkov I can’t be the only one of its kind in the galaxy.”

The admiral’s shoulders relaxed, and an arm curled around the captain’s.

“We have some time to prepare.  My countrymen visit occasionally to exchange supplies and resources but they’ve been scarce lately and I do not think they know you are here. Fortunately the others that live here permanently are—“

“Sir, I didn’t hear the human’s departure and it’s been awfully quiet, are you o-.OHMY-“ After entering through the door, Dax dropped and shattered what seemed to previously be some kind of beverage he was holding before scrambling to shield his eye.

“Dax!? Have you no sense to knock?!”

“I did NOT see what I think I just saw.“ He nearly pleaded. "Tell me that isn’t what’s going on here. Admiral, I swear to–”

“Who is—?“

“My sub commander.” Zex retrieved and put on a robe of his own irritably before standing. “Who very rudely barged in unannounced, I might add.”

Dax carefully peeked open his eye, as if unsure if it was alright to look. “Excuse me sir, but the very last thing I expected to walk in on was—…“ Something like a grimace contorted Dax’s features.

“I do not need your approval, Dax. Besides, I thought you more open-minded than this.”

“So this is what I think it is. You have to be joking.” He finally looked, though now had a somewhat exasperated and heated posture. “Sure, maybe I don’t hate humans but to be involving yourself with—…“ his eye swiveled from the bed to the human, then back to Zex with a more bitter grimace. “What will the council think?”

“The council will not think anything if they don’t hear of it.”

"With all due respect sir, this– this had gone way too far. This is going to get you killed!”

“Mind. Your. Place. Dax.”

The sub commander’s posture recoiled slightly. His superior may have been reckless, blinded, mad and a hedonist, but he was also well respected and rightly earned it. Dax was as loyal as they came, even if the admiral absolutely exhausted him at times. This was easily in the top three of those.

“…I’m sorry, sir. I understand the council put you here to pursue your…‘lifestyle’–.”

“That’s what I’m doing, aren’t I?”

Dax laughed, uneasy. “Sure, but I highly doubt they expected it possible for you to ever actually–”

Zex sighed stubbornly and looked off, the sub commander’s words stinging a bit. It gave Dax pause to reword, but Zex spoke before he could.

“Please excuse me, captain. I’ll take care of this.”

The two of them left the room and shut the door behind them.

“Sir…even if they don’t find out which they obviously will, how do you expect to keep this up? If this gets back to our home planet they’ll make an example of you. They’ve been placated this long knowing you’re not influencing the public but as soon as it starts to get out of their hands it could cause an uprising. How long has this been going on?”

“If you must pry, I’ve spoken with them on recent occasions but this was the first time we–”

“Eugh. No. Stop. That’s enough.” He winced and interrupted. “So you’re telling me you don’t even know this human very well. You don’t know if they have an ulterior motive for all of this.”

“Actually, Dax, the human initially agreed with you. They were ready to leave for the sake of my safety and that would have been that. But I was who convinced them otherwise. They wouldn’t have initiated what they did or gone as far as they did if their intentions were to take advantage of me. If you were violently repulsed by the very appearance of an alien, don’t you think having sex with them would be a last resort? ”

“Sir, please—“Dax cringed, waving his arms to stop him but Zex continued.

“And if you must insist on doing this now—“ He huffed and straightened himself. “I’ve decided to join them. I’m leaving Alpha Cerenkov. The human plans to resist the Ur Quan.”

“Have you gone completely mad?! What about the fleet? I hope you realize the position you’re putting them in if they question them. If they question me. They’ll suspect us traitors. I didn’t swear an oath to your loyalty with the intention of breaking it. If I refuse to give them what they want…”

“If you and the rest of the fleet do not intend to join us, then perhaps the less you know the better.” The admiral turned back to the door, but Dax stopped him. There was a pause.

“I hope you’re sure about this…”

“There are few things I’ve been surer of.”

Dax sighed deeply.

“Just…wait. Don’t do anything reckless. I’ll talk with the fleet.”

[changelingvixen]

Some headcanons about Martyn and Donia

Snip!

- I think Martyn would be a romantic. Whastrach called him ‘an old-fashioned sort of fellow’ and although he meant about ‘sword and sorcery’ and that he’s not a businessman, I think that’d bleed through to the way he’d go about a relationship too.

- I think he’d be lots of fun in a relationship too. It’d be a relationship full of laughter and happiness.

- I straight-up think he has at least some inferiority complex going on, in spite of the mask (..lol). His stage persona has fans - but he himself, he’s not only easily upstaged by the WoL - fair enough, he isn’t the first there - but by Whastrach who FLAT OUT says, pretty nastily, he’s better in front of Martyn’s boss and Martyn can’t contradict him. The Mamool Ja tell the WoL Whastrach is more skilled. Royse makes deals behind Martyn’s back -sure, to help him, but without trusting him enough to tell him. I mean. Ouch. 

- That said, he doesn’t like being vulnerable. He didn’t say ANYTHING when Whastrach mocked him - not a word. Nor did he say anything when Royse made the competition deal. Perhaps he thought it wouldn’t matter what he said, and everyone talked over his head and took it out of his hands anyway, because he was still injured. But he always ignored that. Latool Ja said ‘he doesn’t listen to the chirugeon. He doesn’t listen to anybody [about staying in hospital when he should]’. He keeps secrets because he's scared to trust people.

- I also think he’s very - naive, in his way. He KNEW Whastrach had changed, but he still instinctively trusted him that he’d help the Whalaqee for its own sake, and he was genuinely upset and angry - anger born of shock - that Whastrach sold them out, when let’s be fair, I at least could see it a mile off. This is a man who’s desperate to still have his friend BE his friend, and although that’s pretty funny coming from someone who’s a showman and - yes - a con artist, he’d never take advantage of people who kinda don’t do it to themselves.

- What's sad is i think he must have learned a lot of BLU spells with Whastrach as his battle partner too (...let's be fair, nobody who isn't the WoL will be soloing Sophia any time soon) and it meant a lot to him...and nothing to Whastrach.

-  He’s happy to let people think he’s greedy and selfish, because he really does feel guilty about bringing illness to the New World, and he’s not willing to let anybody know why, even the Mamool Ja who were close to him, even if it made him look bad. 

- ...and on that note, dodgy sales techniques aside, he was fair about the Blue Magic. People love a quick win, and don’t do the research.

- And on that note again, I think anyone in a relationship with him would at least have to have a theoretical interest in learning Blue Magic and about the Walaqee, since it’s his life’s work. I think he wouldn’t mind if she didn’t want to perform Blue Magic but she’d have to understand and listen to him talk about it and theorise with him and learn with him. 

- And Donia? Sure, she is, for Eorzea, pretty unattractive, and she can’t fight. But she isn’t as bad as she thinks she is. She endures, she has inner strength. She keeps going. She’s very independent, and she’s happy to fill her own time. She’s not actually a natural introvert, but she’s learned to live with having to be one.

- And she learns quick, both intellectually and socially. She is smart. She speaks a couple of languages, because her father was a sailor and travelled a lot. She’s a lot more people-savvy and cynical than Martyn, because people haven’t been especially nice to her, for the most part. Because of all the people-watching she does, she’s not a bad judge of character. She has seen a lot of interactions between people and where they go. 

- She really does have the magical talent of a stick, and nobody knows why. It’s not lack of trying or mental capacity. She just can’t make it work. And she isn’t aggressive enough to use a weapon, she can’t turn on the spirit you need to fight, especially at will. If you shove her enough into a corner she might do a even-the-worm-turns, but generally she just can’t do it. 

- She actually did inherit some of her mother’s artistic talent, she just never used it. These days it comes through in making her cooking look pretty instead. Never underestimate the power of spun sugar.  She also sings very well - she’d sing to calm down the chocobo chicks, and Apple still likes to hear her singing.

- She has a lot of skills that she simply never had the chance to learn or understand or utilise, because she was never in a position where anybody would respect her to let her try. It’s a shame, really. Lack of confidence is her largest problem rather than lack of skill, per se. 

- If forced, she’d probably have tried her hand at archery, but her mother is/was a MASTER bowman and she couldn’t deal with having to compete with that. 

- She also genuinely likes Rouse as a person. She admires her - she's cool, powerful and yes, a little bit of her admires the talent for business. She's a dreamer as well, at heart, but she has also got a very practical side and she can't help but be impressed by the decisions and reasoning Royse-as-buainesswoman makes. She would never say it or admit it because it feels dirty somehow, but especially having spent time in Ul'dah, she does admire businesswomen, because they're respected. She kinda hates it, because money doesn't exactly motivate her, but...