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maspers · 10 months

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Ranking the Miracucast by how well they'd cope with receiving a phone call from Marinette at 3 in the morning

Marinette: No, she's not exempt from this. She was most likely already awake, and knows that regardless of circumstance if another her is calling something Serious is happening and she will deal with it accordingly. But she would not be happy about it. 4/10

Alya: This poor girl puts up with so many late night Marinette phone calls. She is exhausted. But she takes it like a champ and routinely provides the support Marinette needs. It ain't much, but it's honest work. Someone please help her. 9/10

Adrien: Yes. 10/10

Nino: I can see Nino being quite the morning person. He would answer the phone and thoughtfully listen to what's going on. Then he would have absolutely no idea how to proceed from there. If Marinette is just calling to get some more Miraculous Muscle that's great, but if it's a problem that needs more brainpower then there will be issues. 6/10

Chloe: She needs her beauty sleep. If Marinette were to interrupt that sleep, the phone is going out the window. Screaming will be involved. Of course, knowing Marinette, Ladybug or Chat Noir is standing right outside to catch said phone to use in conjunction with a Lucky Charm to beat a supervillain or something. Ladybug knows what she's doing by now. 1/10

Sabrina: Would answer the phone thinking it was Chloe. Would be surprised to hear Marinette's voice instead. Sabrina is always eager to please, and would try to help... but most likely that help involves getting Chloe to do something. We will honor your sacrifice, Sabrina. 4/10

Mylene: For some reason I can picture Mylene being Absolutely Down to help Marinette hide a body, and would have the bag and shovel ready right as she answers the phone. I don't have any explanation for this. I really don't. I just feel in my heart it's correct? Mylene doesn't *want* there to be corpses to bury, and would sigh in relief when Marinette confirms she's calling for other reasons. But like. This still feels right. 7/10

Ivan: I don't want to say Ivan sleeps like a rock, but I think he sleeps like a rock. Sorry Marinette, that phone is NOT being answered. 0/10

Rose: Has custom ringtones for all of her friends and catapults out of bed the moment she hears any of those ringtones. Rose will immediately do everything in her power to help any of her friends at any time of day or night. Because that's what friends do. When Marinette asks her to do something oddly specific, she will do it without question and will assume it's Adrien related. She may or may not be right. 8/10

Juleka: Was already awake. May or not be aware of the passage of time. Her ability to function probably increases as the sunlight disappears, if we're being honest, so Marinette will be unnerved by this significantly more cheerful Juleka. This may or may not have an adverse effect on whatever Marinette was planning. 8/10

Kim: He will answer the phone before fully waking up. He will agree to anything Marinette says. He will say "okay, I got it" and then Marinette will hang up and Kim will finish waking up and he will have no idea what he's supposed to be doing. 2/10

Max: Marinette will be very frustrated with Max's auto-responder. Max would be happy to help, but Marinette can't figure out how to navigate all the weird options ("If you need help, press 2, if you need help with aliens, press 3, if you need help with homework, press 4, and if you need help with-") so it'll probably be a half an hour before he realizes he's being called. 3/10

Alix: Before receiving the Rabbit Miraculous, she would answer the phone and provide assistance with copious amounts of sarcastic remarks. Now that she has the Rabbit Miraculous, she gets her significantly more well-rested future self to answer the phone instead. And provide assistance with copious amounts of sarcastic remarks. Alix/10

Nathaniel: While he may not be crushing on her anymore, Nath would still be very eager to help Marinette. Unfortunately he is probably very tired and operating with a less-than-even temper so there will be problems. 4/10

Lila: The entire situation would be hilarious. She would not expect a call from Marinette this early in the morning, and would engage in Death Note-style mental gymnastics to try and figure out Marinette's goal. Does she need help? Why is she calling me if she needs help? Does she need something from me? She knows I would never help her, right? Or is she expecting me to not help and is just calling to brag that I'm not needed? Or, wait, um- Add this to the fact that she's probably very tired and not fully awake means her brain would probably short-circuit and she'd end up helping Marinette out before her thought process can catch up. 5/10

Luka: Oh, Luka, you poor, poor, boy. Marinette is not the only one who comes to you for late night therapy. So many people seek out your assistance at odd times and places, and you will ALWAYS help. You can function, and you do your best, but internally you're just a regular guy who's trying REALLY REALLY HARD to be cool and dependable. You desperately need a break, Luka. But for now I'll give you the credit you deserve. 10/10

Kagami: Her mother keeps her on a very rigid sleep schedule, so naturally she jumps at the chance to be more of a rebel and help Marinette out. Things will get broken. Even if Marinette just wanted to ask Kagami a question, there will still be property damage. 6/10

Marc: There is absolutely no way that Marc can function at all at 3 in the morning. He has been up all night writing, sustained entirely by caffeine and hyperfixation. His brain is starting to collapse from the stress and he can no longer tell fiction from reality any more. He would still try to help Marinette if she called him, but she's learned by now to just let him sleep for the sake of his health. -5/10, but like in a good way

Ondine: Probably wakes up at around this time anyway depending on which sports season it is. She can help just fine, but since she and Marinette aren't that close the chance that Ondine can assist with anything really important is low. 5/10

Aurore:

"Marinette Dupain-Cheng? Why on earth are you calling me this early?" "I need help." "What? I barely know you!" "I'm going to blackmail Alec Cataldi." "...I'm listening."

4/10

Felix: Look you just know he has the weirdest sleep schedule. He's either basically dead to the world or fully functioning without issue. He will help Marinette, though he might need to be coerced. 7/10

Zoe: She will do literally anything that Marinette asks her to. Marinette will feel very guilty about this. 9/10

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sweetiebean00 · 4 months

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Hopscotch

There is a severe lack of content for Marikim and I've consumed it in an hour, time to adjust that even if it's just me. Listen, I hate cannon, most of it anyway. I'm not writing with Marc or Luka, only because I don't feel wholey comfy writing them. Didn't get that far in the show😅😅 Didn't finish the Lila shit either, so if it's wrong - sorry? #####

To think, it all started with an akuma.

No, not a poor person taken advantage of. More like a poor butterfly being used by a madman being taken advantage of.

Kim was snorting, eyes rolling at Alix and Max as the duo continued to class from lunch. Max was lamenting the idiocy of their peers, of how Lila was obviously new and full of shit. A napkin take out someone's eye? Especially someone with glasses? Kim could hear his grumblings as Alix dragged him along, her snickering about whatever else that happened that Kim didn't care to pay attention to. While the new girl was objectively pretty, she was far too much like Chloe for Kim's taste. And Kim had made it a point to avoid anything resembling the blonde, he hadn't been the greatest when he'd been trying to impress her. Marinette had helped talk to Ivan after the Stoneheart thing, and since then Kim wants to say he's been doing better. No more silly tricks to impress and using actual words opposed to teasing to encourage have been shown to help loads. Max never hesitated to remind him of the odds when his old habits would make an appearance, but that's what happens when you're a teenager in the midst of an emotional, magical terrorist attack.

He still can't believe he mixed his gym bag for his school bag, eyes rolling at himself as he wondered if Marinette would be willing to take a commission to keep him from mixing them in the future. He didn't even want to think about the number of times he did this a week, let alone a day. It had to-

Kim froze, dread like ice in his veins as he saw the black butterfly floating along. He swallowed, holding as still as he could manage when he heard it. Voices. The following sound of a slam had his brow furrowing and he took a deep breath. Is he witnessing the becoming of an akuma? The memory, the feeling of strings connected to his limbs as the world went dark sent a chill down his spine and before he knew what he was doing. Kim was charging into the room after the akuma, eyes narrowed when he found its target.

Marinette.

The world would burn before someone let her get hurt by a fucking akuma. It was getting closer, heading for an earring as she gripped the sink so tight her knuckles were white. Nope! Not today, Hawkmoth.

"Marinette!"

She jumped, eyes wide with fear and tears falling from her cheeks. A squeak tore from her throat at the sight of the akuma and Kim did the one thing he could think of. He threw his bag. Now what Kim forgot was how he hardly missed a target when he threw something, secondly, was his strength. His muscles weren't for show, if he wasn't working out he was usually doing some sport or another. If not challenging Alix, rollerblades versus his own human body.

The bag slammed into the purple insect, slamming it into the wall. Marinette thankfully seeing his plan had dropped into a roll, moving from the Akuma and Kim didn't hesitate to snatch her around the waist and throw her over his shoulder before they were running from the locker room. Squished Akuma left behind.

Kim didn't stop running, his blood roaring in his ears and all he could think was to get her away from the evil little thing.

Not today, Hawkmoth, not his Cupcake. He didn't even want to think about the slaughter that would take place, because it wouldn't be a fight, a battle. Marinette would take out Hawkmoth and their heroes without fail. She was cunning, he's seen her climb the side of a building and not be late for class every other week. He's seen her when she's pissed, seen her fall and catch herself in a handspring. Seen her make Chloe back down. He wouldn't be surprised if Marinette would make Hawkmoth her little bitch.

"Kim!"

He skid to a halt, lungs burning for air and chest heaving. They were... at the park? Oops. Marinette was poking his back, his sides. Sharp nails digging in for attention, and another one of those squeaks tore from her throat as she clawed at his back on the off chance his rapid stop made her fall. Puh-lease. He played sports, his hands were probably one of the most guaranteed safe zones in the world. Well, maybe. Ladybug or Chat Noir might be safer.

"Kim, I think you outran the akuma." She said softly, and he chuckled. Heat flaring in the back of his neck as she wiggled to be put down. "Did... did you throw your backpack at an akuma?"

"No..?"

He laughed, rubbing the back of his neck now that she was firmly on her own two feet. Her pigtails were disheveled and Marinette's eyes rolled. Lips pulled into a smile as she tugged the ribbons free from her dark hair. Kim grinned, she was smiling! A far cry from the tears she had been shedding when he first found her. The question burned on his tongue, but it might not be a good idea to talk about it right now. Maybe after she seems a bit more at ease? He shrugged, starting down the path of the park and mentally fistbumping when she started along with him.

"That's my gym bag." He grimaced, "Though now that there's akuma juice on it... Hawkmoth can have it."

She laughed, her arm nudging into him as they followed the small path at a slow pace. Kim never thought he'd be skipping class with Marinette Dupain-Cheng, then again, he didn't think he'd have to save the literal sunshine from an akuma. But everyone has their days, everyone has bad days. Kim frowned, probably didn't help everyone was pushing her about today. He heard Nino and Alya criticizing her, but before he could've asked what was going on Lila was claiming a napkin was going to take out Max' eyes. Kim remembers the way his eye twitched, the way Alix immediately stood after Max made a very dry comment and started to preach Lila, her sarcasm missed by the new girl as the trio began to gather their things and leave. Ignoring the tales of wonder of Lila's sacrifice behind as Max proceeded to rant and rave about their classmates having less intelligence than a single cell organism if they believed that.

"Your sacrifice will be remembered," She snickered, patting his shoulder. "I'll make you a new one, if-if you want that is. So it won't be lost in vain?"

"Oh hell yeah!" He fistbumped, ready to brag his ass off about getting a custom design from Marinette and to flex on Alix and Max, on Ondine, on his teammates, mostly on Alix though. "I will never say no to a DC original! Alix is gonna be pissed!"

"Oh, I can make her on-"

Kim interrupted her, grabbing her by the shoulders and pressing into her space. His face turned serious, brows furrowed as he stopped them mid-walk. When he spoke his voice had dropped into just barely above a whisper and eyes staring at her intensely.

"Whatever you do, don't make her one." She squeaked, her cheeks heating as Kim continued. "I want to forever have bragging rights on that little shit."

Marinette blinked, once, twice. Then she snorted, eyes rolling as she playfully pushed at his chest. He grinned, mischief glinting in his eyes as she proceeded to grumble. Trudging along the path quicker, and aware of the effortless way Kim kept up. Never once losing the smile that made dimples form in his cheeks. She delighted in the mock hurt and offense that took over his expression when he actually heard what she was saying. The giant athlete bemoaning her cruelty and begging her to reconsider giving Alix more things to allow Shortstack to have bragging rights on him.

"Maaaaarrriiiii," He threw an arm around her shoulder, hearing her squawk as he leaned some of his weight onto her shoulders. Snickering as she stumbled about under his hold. "The betrayal of a sweet treat as yourself cuts ever deep as a thorn of roses!"

"That made no sense!" She laughed, shoving at his arm that was refusing to budge. "Kim! Get your meaty arm off me you oaf!"

"Oaf? Oaf?! Oaf!" He staggered, hands pressing into his chest as he spoke with an exaggerated huff. "How dare you! I am a theater jock!"

"Oh, is theater still your secret side piece to sports?" Marinette teased, and Kim grinned. Hands in his pockets as she stared up at him, shoving her fringe to the side. Her hair flawlessly turning into a brain under her deft fingers. He hadn't seen her with a braid in years. He forgot what she looked like with it. "I thought you dropped theatre last year."

"I did, but I didn't like that one class I took instead, oh the one with the thing and thing?"

"Home Economics?"

"Yes! It was laaaame, besides maman is going to show me how to do all that stuff this summer so I took theater and dropped it."

Marinette nodded, "Well if you want help cooking, you know maman and papa will help in a heartbeat."

"What, not gonna help me at all?"

She rolled her eyes, "I know you know how to cook, I also know you pretend not to when anyone asks."

"Rude. Fair, but rude."

They walked for a few moments in silence, the sound of the trees rustling in the wind. The smell of the flowers drifting through the air and surrounding them as the sun warmed them from a cloudless sky. The park wasn't filled, which made sense since most of the occupants of the park were currently in class or at work. Never in their lives did they think they'd end up skipping class, especially together. Not when he skips for sports and bets, and she skips for battle. Not that he knew that last bit.

"Thank you." She said it so softly, he wasn't sure he heard it. "For-for helping me, get away from the akuma and making me... yeah. Sorry you caught me, well..."

"Mari?" She hummed at his question, watching their shoes as they walked. "Why were you crying in the bathroom?"

"I-"

"Was it that chick, Alya? I know you've gotten close since she transferred, and it's good seeing you making new friends on your own." He stopped their walk, gently turning her to face him and lifting her chin from the ground. "But if she's not turning out to be all that great, you know you're always welcomed to break Bustier's rules and come sit with me and Nath, or even Nino, I know she banned the four of us from sitting together because we were hiding you and Nath from her so you could draw, but-"

"It wasn't- it wasn't Alya..." Marinette admitted, he raised a brow. Her gaze broke from his and she sighed. Her shoulders slumping. "Okay, her and Nino didn't help. But, it's-it's fine. We don't have-"

"Cupcake, unless you don't want to talk to me about it, which you know you just have to say so, what happened? Let your big strong knight be your shield again!"

She laughed, the sound soft, if a little pained. She heaved a breath and when she leaned into his side, he didn't hesitate. Wrapping his arm around her and pulling her close as they continued to walk. It was silent, comfortable. He missed hanging with her, with Nathaniel and Nino. He wondered how well Max and Nath would work together, or Alix and Nino. Considering he can't imagine ditching old friends for new, or new for old. Maybe that's what Marinette needed, some new friends too! He was already thinking of dragging Max to the bakery one day with him, to bond with her. Well, they did like video games and-

"Lila threatened me."

The world stop. The air left his lungs as his vision went dark around the corners. Lila threatened Marinette. Lila threatened Marinette. The Italian sausage threatened! He swallowed the urge to storm back to that school and just take care of that problem growing like fire in his chest. How dare. How fucking dare that new bitch.

"She should've stayed in Italy."

"Kim -NO!"

Her hands clawed at him, and Kim grunted when Marinette threw herself onto his back. Like that would stop him. He bench presses her weight, on a light day! He growled, she growled back and it didn't stop him from starting the track back to Dupont. Oh that bitch!

"Kim I don't have a bag to throw if you get akumatised! Stop!"

"Get off."

"No!" Marinette climbed further and he forgot how much a fucking spider monkey she was. "I will tell you everything but only if you promise not to do anything rash! I did and I got expelled."

He froze. She was expelled. Lila did that. Kim remembers asking Max to look into the cameras, remembers Nathaniel looking at the heirloom and telling him that it was a necklace from Gabriel Agreste. He knows because Marinette sent him the picture of them from the window earlier that same week to give inspiration for his art. They had already been on the way to make Damocles look when she had been sent back to class, her expulsion ending and Kim had noticed the look on Lila's face. She had been happy, and now Kim knows why.

He could see her over his shoulder, her bluest blue eyes wide and darting through the sky over their heads. She was looking for an akuma, watching out for him. Which... considering the butterfly probably no longer smashed against a wall in the locker room, it is a fair precaution. He took a measured breath, fists clenching at his sides. He focused, trying to reel his anger in even if part of him dared the butterfly obsessed freak to send one after him. Just so he could tear it apart with his hands, or better yet. Marinette has carried a sewing kit with her since she wanted to become a fashion designer and he knows she has a pastel pink seam ripper in her purse.

He breathed again, eyes closing. In through the nose, out the mouth. He could feel her warmth against his back, could smell vanilla, of warm bread, and cookies from the wind. Could feel her hair brushing against his skin as her arms locked around his neck. Holding tight to keep from falling. Her ankles locked on his stomach to keep herself up, and feel her purse pressing into the small of his back uncomfortably.

Kim relaxed, thoughts of tearing something apart with his bare hands replacing thoughts of dismembering something to make Hawkmoth stay the fuck away from him. From her. He needed to go hit a punching bag as soon as he could, just the thought had his anger fading away. The tension in his muscles easing as she continued to cling to him like a koala.

After a moment, he felt her slide against him. Her fingers clawing down and he shuddered, goosebumps breaking across his skin as she came to stop. Her hands curled in the fabric of his red hoodie gathered at his lower back. His neck burned, and he resisted the urge to roll his shoulders back. Ignoring the pleasant little buzz coming to life in his blood, pushing at all the thoughts trying to rush to the surface.

He needs her not to do that again, that felt way too good. His mind betraying him with the million and one ways her grabbing at his back could be twisted. He needed a cold shower after beating a punching bag, maybe one of the guys from his sports team would be willing to go a few rounds in the ring with him later? He was going to need it, even if the only reason he felt all pleased is because he liked backrubs. Stop looking at him like that.

She hesitated before taking his hand, leading him down the path until they came across a far off spot. Bushes filled with roses laid about the area and Kim realized she gave them privacy. He didn't know if he liked the idea of this spot, of her taking someone here, probably Adrien because it had become quite clear she had feelings for him. Feelings for the blonde prince, as Alix said to him one day when her phone wouldn't shut up and Alya was trying to scheme them together without Marinette knowing.

Shaking the thoughts to the back of his head, he waited as Marinette slid against the trunk of the tree. Watched as she slowly stopped with her knees to her chest against the bark and caught his eye before patting the seat beside her. Offering him a seat even if the invitation had been there when she started leading him to the secluded little piece of safety. Kim settled beside her, lifting his arm and resting it on her shoulder when she leaned into his side. The smell of vanilla, of bread and cookies surrounding him with the fragrance of the flowers. She fidgeted, her fingers picking at each other until he caught the aforementioned digits in his other hand and squeezed. She was stalling, maybe trying to get that overworking mind of hers to figure out how to start it all. Kim didn't mind, he'd gladly wait for her to get the words out. She's always been worth the wait, even if he wasn't the most patient of the bunch. That was Nino’s and Nathanial's expertise, but Kim... he could listen. He could sit still for her.

When she began to speak, Kim had reminded himself to keep his mouth shut. To hold his questions to the end as her soft voice washed over him. Any other day it would've been peaceful, would've been nice even. The stuff out of those fairy tales Rose loved so much. He breathed through his nose, letting it out through his mouth slowly with every new thing she told him. When she finished, they sat there. Breathing as she let the weight fall off her shoulders, as he took it from her as he always would. Maybe she should rely on him more? She tossed the thought before it could finish forming, focusing on the questions he asked in that slow, calm, yet tight tone. She prayed to Tikki that Kim wouldn't leave, and wouldn't do as Alya did, what Nino did. Wouldn't do what Adrien did...

Before she could spiral, he squeezed her closer. Earning a squeak as he snickered, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head. The pink on her cheeks making his smile genuine, despite the protective rage simmering in his eyes. How he didn't attract an akuma, he wouldn't know. What he did know was that he had several things added to his agenda and clear in his mind.

For starters, Adrien Agreste is no prince charming. Not in any of the storybooks, or tales of love and daring do. Not in a million years, not hers at the very least. Take the high road? Really? That was not the way to handle a school yard bully, maybe tabloids, maybe lie-rags. Maybe even crazy fans. But not a person threatening to tear someone down amongst their peers. It took everything Kim had to not scowl, not to pull out his phone and text the model. Alix' love for the twisted version of the stories came to mind, the one when the princes were the real bad guys of the stories.

A new sort of resentment built inside him. For Bustier's constant victim blaming teachings, and for separating him from Marinette in the first place. If they were together, Lila wouldn't get the fucking chance to push the sweetest girl in school to the back of the class. Not only that, but she also wouldn't get her nasty ass claws inside Kim like she did Alya.

Which brings him to his next point.

Alya is no friend of Marinette's. When they got banned from sitting together, he and Marinette had challenged each other. To make friends with whomever they got seated next to. Just her luck she got fucked with blonde prick and fake news. He took a breath, giving Marinette another squeeze. Best friends push you to do your best, but they don't push you into doing your worst. When you aren't comfortable, when you're scared, they are the spotter to catch the weight you're lifting. Alya hasn't been that for Marinette for a while now.

Not only that, but what person schemes to hook up their bestie with their crush when neither have had a decent conversation? Or encourages the stealing of phones, privacy, and what was it? Oh yeah, stalking. After Kim was far more calm, he would be marching Marinette's ass home and telling her to take down everything. No schedules, no knowing everything there is about him from the internet. No future birthday presents, none of that shit. You're supposed to help coach the crazy, not encourage it. For fuck's sake!

Kim made sure to make a note to himself to have a long overdue chat with Nino. Take him out, sit him down, and if Kim's lucky, Nino can give Alya that dose of reality she apparently needs. If not, well, Nino has always been as protective as Kim. The duo never hesitated to protect Marinette and Nathaniel on the playground as they grew up, or from the teachers. They might have drifted, but they were still friends.

Kim stood, tugging her up with him and offering her a charming smile. She blinked up at him, but let him lead her out of the park to the Bakery. Kim had some work to do. No sausage haired new chick was going to alienate his honest to kwami best girl.