#( but now I just feel like crap )
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I will never emotionally recover from this
#Joplin my beloved </3#release the joplin cut!#pls bioware someone leak the details I need the closure lmao#was looking for more pictures of calpernia for her headdress and got sad :(#Imshael / Calpernia / Sten / Zevran / Isabela (properly dressed) / Dorian </3#solas agents are in this version -> so is the war with the qun!#there was a reason that everyone was excited for this version of the game!!! Devs included!#all the talent that left after joplin got canned makes me sad :(#fuck off EA - i hope you step on a lego piece every day for the rest of your lives#i need some one to release an in-depth deep dive/article into what the fuck happened#really sad to see bioware come to this point -> they made so many of my favorite games and now they're a shell of themselves#i've made my peace with the game being crap and i'm going to ignore it as being part of the series going forwards#but i see this concept art and its sad because they had something wonderful here <3#datv just feels like this soulless product -> it treated everything that came before it so poorly and chased trends it didn't need to#datv critical#bioware critical#fuck off EA
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Got so mad seeing a forced marriage plot for the 20th time that I got up to draw a design specifically to put a veil on him
#like not to victim blame but you���d think after the tenth time this happens covering up would just be more convenient#rip xuanzang you woulda loved face masks 🕊️#can’t believe he’s canonically such an irresistible pretty boy#I think I watched like two back to back marriagenapping plots and was flabbergasted#season 2 has so many of em…#whenever they start getting real close and touchy with him I get uncomfortable 😭#like girl does it have to be the MONK#surely he’s not the ONLY handsome dude you have access to!!!#they’re like all princesses or demon queens like you have OPTIONS boo 💀#damn put this boy in a veil the way he keeps getting bridenapped#I tried to make him look as tender and chewy as possible enjoy#he’s got the consistency of mochi I imagine 🤤#crap now I want to eat him…#digital art#my art#journey to the west#journey to the west fanart#jttw tripitaka#xuanzang#jttw sun wukong#big fan of his little face there#recognizing another bride plot coming up#put that hat back on or so help me!!!#I’m not drawing that nine ringed staff tf I look like an overachiever?? 🤨#I like the design but not satisfied with the way I executed it ya know?#I’m not Buddhist so do lemme know if any aspect of the design is disrespectful or wrong#feel like there should be more but I didn’t wanna go overboard but maybe I should’ve..#like ribbons and bells hanging off
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The thing I love about the ending of mha is not only that there's no conclusive "canon ship", but the way he ended it as sort of a new beginning, so anything could start to happen.
And specifically for bkdk, it's not canon but he gave us AN INCREDIBLE AMOUNT TO WORK WITH.
Katsuki leading the project to get Izuku a support suit so he could be a working hero again. Katsuki putting out a hand for izuku to take.
The forgone conclusion that Izuku and Katsuki will now be competing again as they ALWAYS WANTED. Their future could have them jockeying for rankings for the rest of their lives, constantly one upping each other, AND/OR they could become partners, or open their own agency!
The implication that Katsuki wanted a future WITH IZUKU so badly that he contributed a large chunk of his own money and resources to making it happen. That he MOST LIKELY was where they got a lot of the info on how the Quirks worked and how Izuku utilized them. Sure they have battle footage, but katsuki had intimate knowledge as Izukus closest person and sparring partner.
The fact that A PROPOSAL, A RING, AND A WEDDING WOULD HAVE BEEN CHEAPER.
Like there are so many little ideas buzzing around my head and it's not fair that I don't even have enough time to sit down with them for post epilogue fics 😅
And I want to know more about that suit. I hope they animate it more in the anime when the time comes bc I do want a little super suit fanservice.
#bakudeku#bnha spoilers#bkdk#post epilogue bkdk#like horikoshi gave us a HUGE BLANK CHECK#for us to draw our own conclusions#and the katsuki funding the suit thing alone is just SO RICH#the SUBTEXT HERE#holy crap#idk if a canon ending for them would have been this rewarding#i love this partnof the ending fr#no one won but i feel like we won???#stay winning#izuku as a sensei is great#but now with this twist of getting to be a pro hero again#like it opens a lot of interesting doors#particularly with like teamups#ranking#and then whatever the hell he has with kacchan#also we can make up for ourselves if they live with each other or move in together#the possibilities are endless
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There's a lot of validity in the idea that older Bakugo is a traumatized pro-hero with major PTSD... but you know what's kinda fucked up to think about? The fact that Bakugo is also a 22-year-old pro-hero with major PTSD even before that, too.
It's almost easy to imagine that things are actually better when he's older (the therapy finally a routine, the trauma long set and on the path to being healed)... and that it's his whole 20s that are spent as a pool of disaster trying to recover from the war(s).
He looks back and barely even remembers being twenty, much less twenty-five or twenty-seven. Barely remembers how little he slept, not at the hands of trying to balance hero work and getting a degree at the same time, but just out of the pure insomnia that came from trying to move on and every nightmare attached.
Hardly ever showering, never shaving (not that he ever grew much of a beard, but the facial hair was definitely there. There's pictures of him on the news with an awkward, grown out haircut and patches on facial hair that make him look positively... immature), barely even eating more than a few protein bars or an energy jelly drink-a day. It's a blur, and his friends are hardly there to pick him up out of it because they're all going through it, too. Somewhat.
It's definitely weird if you meet him during this period. He's not all there, at least, not all of the time. He doesn't really register your interactions, the friendship you extend to him (a younger, or ever older, version of him would've shown you that deep seeded ferocity in response, tried to bite the hand that fed him, even if it were love... but 20s Bakugo... doesn't seem to notice). Even though only one of his eyes is clouded over, the good one never seems to brighten up.
There's definitely moments when the old him shines through: when he's with Deku, when he's in the midst of battle, when he finds out that Todoroki still does a shitty job at chopping scallions. But it's a long time before he's even close to the same, able to step out from underneath the fog of simply surviving and into the sunshine of recovering.
But I think sticking through it with him is worth it.
(It's a weird moment, a happy moment, the first time you realize that Bakugo has changed. That the pouring rain outside hasn't bothered him since he showed up at your apartment. He forgot his umbrella, he's been quite careless ever since the war—wet and shaggy hair frizzed up, cheeks red from cold—but he doesn't seem to mind, with his bare feet up on your coffee table, his eyes gazing out the window. You hand his tea, and instead of gulping it down in one go, letting it burn in his throat, he winces at the heat.
"Tastes like shit," he says, and you laugh because it always does. Just this time, he noticed.)
#bakugou x reader#bakugo#this is what crocheting a baby hat does to u#no im jk i was just thinking abt bakugo being like 22 and awkward as h*ck bc he still hasnt recovered from the war#i wanna talk abt what he's like more but this is what came out instead LOL#like i think he's really stubborn abt ... coping with after effects of dying#and then before he knows it he has major depression LMFAOO#and he can like go to work get his degree do all he needs to do as a 20-something year guy#but he's not like. *there*. you know#and you meet him and he's a binch but he's not hard to get along with#and u just sorta take him in and drag him places like idk#your school's halloween night.. or even just a night out with ur friend (he doesn't even know how to order a drink)#and he doesnt even process it all until one day he's like 'dang it feels like ive been asleep for years'#and he kinda was#but he knows youre the one who helped him and now he wants to fix himself for you bc he remembers u being there for him#but he's so funny im imagining him with like. frat boy facial hair and a really outgrown ugly mullet type haircut#and lowkey with like. greasy skin (ik he's perfect but he's in a bad state and it shows) and he eats instant noodles ever day#and only watches japanese top gear#and goes on patrols where he beats the crap outta ppl and then doesnt remember it#DREAM BOY#and then he's big hero later#anyway#caitie post#gen
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*looking at a guy who is as mentally ill as i am* phew thank god im normal
#homestuck#dirk strider#self#platonic selfship#selfshipping#TTAC#admin draws#fanart#another dump of these bugs. iykyk.#about time i start tagging it proper ogfgmg#anyways idk if i mentioned but i think the idea of them both being unstable and then instead of rotting together#they instead get the impulse to actually Be Well Adjusted or act that way at least#like you know how when ur watching a horror movie with a friend and normally youd be crapping your pants but theyre Clearly Scared#and you feel braver by just contrast lololol. its like that#u give ur friend advice and then are like well shit. am i gonna be a hypocrite now. i refuse to be caught slipping (this time)
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Hey, Jake & Jack fans, is this anything?
Both men imprisoned (literal & metaphorical).
Both offered an out from their current predicament by an outside force (arguably in the case of Brain Ghost Dirk).
Both have loose ties to Lord English visually.
Yellow initial glow & Gamzee involvement too.
Sometimes a guy just needs to explode (same pose too).
Both dual wielding weapons.
That same said weapon type (for Jack Noir) having killed Jane Crocker.
It's really looking like Jake is going to do her in.
I would also like to point out that we've had interactions involving these three (Jane, Jake, and Brain Ghost Dirk) before that consisted of similar topics & themes.
Brain Ghost Dirk implying that he's just there as moral support, a manifestation of Jake's powers, and as a coping mechanism. Jane also talking about ruling an empire with him while talking down to him, similar to how she saw and/or still sees him in Beyond Canon's Candy timeline. Jake also being uncertain about doing anything to harm her despite all the bad things she's doing.
Brain Ghost Dirk going away tells us that Jake's more hopeful than he's ever been. This is the moment where he is the most sure of his decisions than he's ever been in his life, whatever those decisions may be in regards to Jane and how to handle this situation.
He is probably going to shoot Jane down, quite literally. I would also argue that after all this time, the lad isn't beating the Lord English allegations. We might as well have a parallel of him killing Jane much like how Jack Noir killed her right before he got possessed by Lil Cal & given some of Lord English's immense power.
Alternatively maybe we'll get to see what the power of hope or hope bullets can do to someone whose done so much wrong & come so far off the deep end in terms of moral wrongdoings. Maybe with every shot that hits her, she'll begin to be swayed to the side of good & start to self-reflect.
I'm still not fully convinced that Gamzee actually cured Tavros' peanut allergy, I mean just look at the panel.
This could absolutely be interpreted as Jake injecting his hope power into the epipen and by proxy injecting both his power & the epipen into his son! If younger Jake is strong enough to defeat Grimbark Jade, then adult Jake might just be strong enough to defeat a peanut allergy is all I'm saying! In fact, now that I'm rambling about it, this seems like the more likely outcome is Jake's hope power swaying or (in the very least) confusing Jane mid-fight. Hope bullets, they would look cool & would be pretty strong!
The power of believing in others & wanting things to change can be a strong tool indeed, Mister English.
If there's one person who still believes in changing Jane's mind (or bringing her back to proper canonicity depending on how you interpret the recent lore), it would be Jake English, the believer.
Okay, maybe this is something! Tally ho!
#I have not seen anyone talk about the visual; story; & character parallels yet so allow me to jump up on this box real quick#gonna start shouting into this megaphone because holy crap I just now noticed this somehow only just now#I know & am aware some of these are probably a stretch & the order of events isn't exactly the same; but hear me out okay?#did the writing team remember & know they were doing this??? anyone feel free to answer or ask one of them on twitter I just want#to know out of pure curiosity though i can see how answering something like this might be spoiler territory this early into beyond canon#Jake is on the war path & I love that for him; I trust him to rage responsibly tbh#this started off as me being certain of one hs outcome; but now im more certain of the other; feel free to guess which is which#I'm not here to say whether I agree with Jake or disagree with how he's going to handle the Jane Crocker situation; I'm just doing analysis#& finding parallels that may or may not be intentional because at this point I'm honestly not sure; but i figured it was worth pointing out#jack noir lord english and jake english parallels real? only time will tell; but i look forward to the coming updates to hs^2 or hsbc#homestuck beyond canon#homestuck#jake english#homestuck^2#homestuck 2#jane crocker#jack noir#homestuck theory#brain ghost dirk#homestuck candy#cw blood#homestuck upd8#upd8#homestuck spoilers#also yes i avoided having the flashing images be flashing images on purpose; less hassle with tags & stuff & things even if it looks cool
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he still has his tonsils. by the way if you even care
#sorry this is fucking UNINTELLIGIBLE but unfortunately i’m still on my bullshit about dr. daddyissues. yeah it’s gonna be all month#i am rotating episode 2.8 ‘the mistake’ in my head at breakneck speed. i am gnawing on it i want to swallow it#oh he’s such a lying liar who lies. charming little bastard. would rather die/lose his license than express one wholly unaffected emotion#‘he thinks not giving a crap makes him like house. like it’s something to aspire to’ quick question HOW serious do the daddy issues have to#be before you start latching on to fucking GREGORY HOUSE as a paternal figure and role model. really#even cameron is not down this bad. even WILSON is not down this bad.#the daddy issues of it all are very understandable though because even setting aside whatever went down back in childhood that shit his#father did to him in seasons 1-2 is SO messed up. jesus#imagine traveling all the way across the world to the hospital your son works in for a consult which confirms what you already knew: you’re#going to die of cancer in like 2 months. making a whole point out of stopping by to visit your son. not telling him what’s going on.#letting him spend a whole episode’s worth of time gradually coming to terms with his complicated feelings towards you (complicated on#account of a whole childhood of objectively awful parenting). the kid finally is able to try reaching back out to you. after YOU initiated#the contact in the first place. how do you react? well obviously by telling him ‘oh sorry i actually have to get in a taxi right now’ and#fucking back off to the other side of the world without giving him a chance to actually talk to you at all and resolve any of the emotions#you just dredged up. oh by the way you still haven’t fucking told him you’re about to die and in fact actively mislead him into thinking#he’s going to have the chance to try meeting with you again next time he visits your home country.#especially fucked up given that the whole reason it DID take your son so long to come around THIS time is that he feels like every time#he’s tried reaching out to you in the past you’ve just disappointed him by refusing to put in the effort to meet him there.#And Now Here We Are Again.#rowan what the FUCK is wrong with you. i want to dig you up and kill you again#house md#robert chase#caseyposting
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i cannot tell u how many times ive watched this in the last 12 hours
youtube
#tma#the magnus archives#tma spoilers#I ACTUALLY CANNOT THO I CANT EXPRESS HOW MUCH I LOVE IT HOLY CRAP#favorite animated work of tma atm like dear lord this is so absolutely beautiful and the AUDIO DESIGN IS PHENOMENAL#like the music syncs up so well both artistically and metaphorically#i love this song now#and i can watch the animatic in my head with it lmao#that ending sequence changed me#part of the reason i love this so much is cause the drawings are all very in character. i dont know what exactly it is but every frame feels#Right and Correct#yknow#idk man i just love it so much#the safehouse/cabin scenes felt very yummy (i may or may not have squealed)#URGH I LOVE IT SO MUCH THO it feels SOOOO CANONNN#tma.txt
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I've started playing Potion Permit, and so far it's one of my favorite games I've messed around with, but the most big brained move the devs made was giving you a dog on day 1, and then making that dog able to track NPCs and lead you directly to them no matter where they are in the town.
#im still early game but i like the play and the writing is passable#like#Theres a flatness#the characters Are distinct but theyre mostly just their jobs#with only a few who stand out and have like. something to really grab onto#Like rue? rues entire deal is little girl you can date. Nothing else behind those eyes. She has nothing better to talk to you about#than the fact her favorite color is red#Sorcelia? Sorcelia is a goth nun who loves singing and teaches one of the village children#Reynerd? sure is a guy#got nothing else to say about him. hes just a Guy™. Victor? Has ghost friends and loves bugs and cares deeply about the cemetery#he tends to. At the moment it feels like they're trying to imply there aren't actually ghosts. and hes just talking to himself/#insisting his imaginary friends are real people#and so far? The games been cool about it. Victor's a member of his community and his eccentricities are accepted and not ridiculed#all four characters ive mentioned are romance candidates. but its just as hit or miss with the regular towns folk#Opalheart is an older woman and a world renowned blacksmith who only takes jobs if they will do Good. regardless of whether or not they#pay well. She declines to make a dagger for a rich man but makes a helmet for a childs father bc the girl asked#and olive is here#anyways you can be best friends with a cat (shes just a regular cat) and i appreciate that#idk im putting it above sun haven in my ranking of life sim games#purely because there are older romance candidates.#no fat romance candidates. but sun haven doesn't have thise either.#and sdv has neither fat or old candidates Nor can you fuck a cat boy. it goes at the bottom.#gameplay wise sunhaven is at the bottom then sdv then potion permit at the top. sunhaven has the Most™ but having#a lot of crap doesn't mean its fun and it ends up making half the game feel really incomplete#idk. Sdv is a game you should've started playing a year ago. sun haven is a game that perpetually needs another year worth of updates#before id say its worth it bc the devs keep pushing content ™ updates instead of quality of life or polish so what is there is uh#Bad. plentiful. and a large portion is good#but a Lot is just bad.#its insincere and cant take itself seriously it gives you (the right dialogue option) an (the shit joke option) which is worse than just#i ram out of space. tldr. potion permit is good Now. sdv Was good. sun haven Might be great Eventually
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ワンルームエンジェル 第1・2話 one room angel - ep. 1&2
#just started watching this so i'm mad i juuust missed ep2 release on tver and now can't find a quality source for it sorry for this trash#a harada manga getting a live action... who would've ever thought. luckily i don't remember what happens in this one so it's a surprise#at least i feel like i remember this one being way less f'd up than the others so it's prob a good one to do a live action on haha#one room angel#jdrama#i'm happy i don't really remember what happens in this one but regardless it is harada so i'm guessing it won't be for everyone#but for people interested in Different stories with Different characters it's likely gonna be a refreshing one. a lot of moral greyness#this angel typing away on a smartphone and saying チン毛 like it's nothing... yeah that ep 3 reveal makes a lot of sense haha#i like how the dialogue is rly harada-esquely just Saying Shit so it's prob staying pretty close to the manga i think#honestly i just wanted to gif this mfer basically motorboating the wings hahahaa#but i don't have the ep in 1080p aaaaaaaaaaa so it looks like crap but it is what it is#mine
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fuck vague posting I’m just full on ranting
#today was the first time I felt really jealous... someone I like was on a date with a dude which lasted multiple (like at least 6/7) hours#And it hurts more than with her situationship because there you always knew that it was more physical than emotional#but well she can't do anything about my feelings and I can't blame her for going on dates#the thing is… we wanted to meet up together since before our last exam… that was AGES ago#I just have the feeling that I'm just being pushed around to fit in the schedules when everything else is being taken care of first#and now we actually agreed to meet this Saturday but guess what... another friend has concert tickets for Saturday evening#which means that I'm being pushed back again (tho I don’t think that friend doesn't knows anything about the person and I's plan)#and now I feel like I'm being pushed back from both of them :/#because the two of them are going to have a nice day together again tomorrow#(for context this other friends wasn’t in the country for a few months and this’ll be the first time any of us sees her since she left)#and yes it shouldn't be important to me who "meets her first” but it still hurts for several reasons…#sometimes I just feel a bit left out with the two of them#and I would like to just cry about all this crap but I just can't… I've forgotten how to cry about my problems (and that fucks me up too)#op dasloddl
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See what we not going to do is dangle Darilyn again instead give me Benius you idiotic cowards.
#like cut the crap#if he didn’t like her the first time he’s not going to start suddenly liking her now#stop toying with my baby boy Darius#like bffr#first you made it seem like darilyn was going to be a thing and pulled kenlyn out of your ass#no offense to kenlyn shippers like I didn’t ship Dailyn either like it just seemed like that was the initial vibe they were going for#but now they really going play in my face again when clearly Benius should’ve been the next and only correct move#Ben is in love with Darius and the feelings are reciprocated and that’s final#like can we quit this idea where there can only be one gay couple in a show jeez#btw I have no fucking clue of any of the ship names because honestly I don’t even know if there is a fandom for this show#I just love the show and I’m just so glad they brought it back because me and my mom was so pissed they ended it after they became teens b/c#bitch we know you could’ve made more and see I was right#jurassic world chaos theory#jurassic world camp cretaceous#jwct#jwcc#jwct darius#jwcc darius#jwct ben#jwcc ben#jwct brooklynn#jwcc brooklynn#nublar six
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to whoever had the brilliant idea to open 4x03 with a freaking carnival after 4x02 ended heartbreakingly with lancelot's death—
hey :) i wanna talk :)
#bbc merlin#merlin#lancelot#the darkest hour#the wicked day#4x02#4x03#merlin rewatch#text: merlin#my text#after putting my rewatch on pause for like 2 weeks i've decided to try skipping the second half of 4x02 for now#but the beginning of 4x03 made me feel /sick/#i know the show always does this kind of upsetting crap and we're just meant to assume there's a time jump after an episode with#a tragic character death#but it's still beyond upsetting#i want to see lancelot MOURNED not forgotten by the next episode#another example of this show being bipolar
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I'm gonna be so honest I hate taking baths I never feel clean I just feel like a wet miserable and now Cold creature
#BUT I can't stand up at the moment and we don't have a shower chair so 🤷♂️ WHAT the fuck ever I guess#I'm always so fucking freezing it's nightmareish#I think if I took a bath when I WASNT feeling miserable and like just for fun I'd be OK I like being submerged in warm water#But I just kind of feel like crap now lol#Not . Worse than before but not much better maybe#Also I ☝️ am scary touchstarved it's so dire .#I've been up since 5am w cramps and aches and it's like. HALP lol!
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I really wish that antis stopped using real life sa victims in their shit especially since they tell real life sa victims that we deserved our assaults cos we all handle our trauma differently.
#sa mention#proship#fandom discourse#fiction is the closest i can feel to normal cos my severe ptsd irl makes me violent if strangers so much as brush up against me#we all handle it differently and yes i write utterly fucked up shit to desensitize myself & somehow managed to stabilized through the years#despite me still having my snappy “scary” moments if people touch me without permission and i punched a dude for standing too close to my#back. he was literally smelling me and i lost my shit and now im banned from that walgreens but meh#now im unloading in the tags but if you're an anti sincerely gfy cos y'all literally attack sa victims on here like its your day job#y'all also don't know the first thing about psychology cos guess who's a psychologist here??? yes this unhinged bitch that covers up like a#gothic church mommy and cusses like a trucker is an actual professional in the field. i studied thinking studying psychology would make me#cope better... it somewhat did help but i should have just gone to a therapist rather than bottling in a going to a freaking university#yes i troll and say fucked up shit on here. this is a social media for my fandom shit so i aint gonna act like the doc i was ages ago and#fiction actually can help some people (especially those like me who are still having violent ptsd eps affecting them) little by little#retake their lives back#there's other forms of therapy but not everything works for everyone and its ridiculous to put all victims under the same umbrella#and its condescending and ignorant af to expect all sa victims to be your perfect little victims of convenience and treat us like crap cos#not all of us fit your toxic narrative of attacking freaking fake people in a nonexistent fictional world.#i have friends that are sa victims that can't handle it in fiction but they know thats my mechanism. since im a now retired professional#i have done everything i can to help them cos yes there's multiple ways to help victims cope with this. even regression exercises help#but that's another thing#and it involves multiple sessions. i no longer practice but can teach people some techniques to regulate their emotions in high stress#situations cos the aftermath of sa is brutal regardless of how you cope with it#you'll need a support group to catch you when you can't handle it sometimes. you're not alone or broken. pls know this
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Sooooo Ninjago Voice Over is up
youtube
Go check it out. My first attempt at voice over and such.
Also plan to maybe do more in future
#Ninjago#Ninjago voice over#lloyd ninjago#kai ninjago#wu ninjago#ninjago cole#ninjago sensei wu#ninjago lloyd#ninjago kai#ninjago zane#ninjago jay#lego ninjago#Youtube#as I recorded I felt my self grow sick#I am now just chilling in bed feeling like crap
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