#( anybody want a drink? // memes )

[corpusdiem-seizethedead]

Husk: Angel once texted me "your adorable" so I texted him back "No, YOU'RE adorable".

Charlie: …And?

Husk: And now we're dating, we've been dating for three months.

Husk: All I did was point out a typo, but I like him, so l'm not complaining.

[mortemoppetere]

[bonny-kookoo]

Hey Ninny!! Do you know the "meme" (i mean... it's not really a meme...?) of "There's a dog/cat at the party" or "When i see or find a dog/cat at the party" ? I think a drabble with that and your hybrid or even alien fics would be funny 🤣 like "that's one fucking nice human right here🥹!!"

I literally just made a new Alien kook did I...

While everyone else is busy drinking, socializing and most of all partying, Jungkook has found a different way to have fun at the party of his human friend.

The alien himself is a little less social, coming from a culture that tends to just stay by themselves, so it's not surprising to anybody that they can't find him at some point- which he welcomes. Because that means, no one's gonna interrupt this moment he's having with you by looking for him.

Earth hybrids, to him, are fascinating.

While their backstory is anything but glamorous, he can't help but be just absolutely enchanted by the way you behave and most of all interact with him. Your rounded, large fox ears are absolutely adorable to him, soft to the touch, and he just wants to wrap you up in his sweater and protect you forever every time his eyes glance at the long healed scar- the ear a little torn on the side, though it doesn't seem to bother you.

Instead, your sandy blonde tail happily wags occasionally as he talks to you about how his planet looks like and what things he likes to eat and do in his free time, while he brushes your hair out after helping you detangle it from the back of your collar.

He had met you by pure chance just an hour prior- having looked for something to snack on in the kitchen, and instead finding you with scissors in your hand, eyes all glossy with unshed tears as your thoughts rush into his head. They're not very clear, a little muddy, and he's not sure why he can't hear them as well as he can hear other people's inner monologues- but it doesn't matter, really, considering that he understood the predicament you were in right away, having gently taken the scissors away from you to instead detangle your hair from your collar instead.

Hoseok never told him he was fostering a hybrid- but granted, Jungkook also never really asked.

So instead, he sits in the kitchen with you the entire party, rather having you sit on his lap and lean against his chest while he watches some videos of his home planet on his phone with you, until he has to chuckle, noticing you having fallen asleep, hands clinging to his jacket. Maybe it's because you're not entirely human- maybe that's why he can't really 'hear' you, and maybe that just adds to this.. curiosity that he's already developing.

And when Hoseok later on starts to bring the dishes into the kitchen, he's a little surprised to see his alien friend with you on the kitchen chair-

both of you fast asleep, Jungkook's arms securely around your body.

[lostinwalmartmymomleftme]

What r ur dreamswap headcanons :3

Have to redo this bc Tumblr hates me:

* 7 each

* Human Ver. Specific

Dream

Dream 100% has something that’s dedicated to Ani, (hospital, orphanage, medical organization, etc.)

To add more depth to him being Latino, I choose to believe he’s Chilean-American

He doesn’t like to be touched, but would never correct anybody on it because he doesn’t want to offend anyone and he doesn’t view it as a priority or concern 

Only has one scar and it was prior to the incident (tm), nightmare, dropped a bowl, and a shard of the ceramic cut dream deep enough to form a scar, and subconsciously Dream doesn’t want it to heal, so it doesn’t fully heal, though it is fairly faint, it’s on his wrist directly above the bone 

He’s probably some form of genderqueer, yeah, doesn’t know it and refuses to look into it because he just doesn’t view it as important, he probably goes by pronouns 

His magical blondness, skips a few streaks of his hair, so he has black streaks that he dies blonde to match the rest of his hair

Canonically multilingual, speaking both English and Mandarin, though I would like to add that he can fluently speak Latin, modern Spanish, and French

Bonus: Dream does that OCD thing (w/o actually having it) where all of his pens when they’re laying on his desk are at the exact same place, in a perfect little row

Nightmare

He sits in trees and people watches, like he sits up in trees, kind of in forests and watches people on picnics and fun little family outings, and tries to imagine what his life would be like if it hadn’t been what it is 

His hair is extremely heat damaged, because he totally straightens it (it’s the only thing about him that’s allowed to be straight /j)

Extension on him canonically being Latino: I think he’s Peruvian-American

For some reason collect bottle caps (like the little metal ones you get on alcohol bottles (he doesn’t drink though))

He has a peanut allergy

Despite being an insomniac, whenever he does actually sleep, he starfishes

He doesn’t like looking in mirrors, there’s anything wrong with it, there isn’t really reason why he doesn’t like it, he just find it unsettling and he covers the one in his room with a blanket

Ink

He has one of those canopy beds, but the actual canopy part is custom painted and embroidered (by himself) with band logos, TV show logos, characters he likes, etc.

He is really bad at spelling, professional emails are more like word scrambles

If someone were to ask him to draw them, he would draw them, claim he made mistake, tear it up, then draw a stick figure, and give it to them

Usual Ethnicity one: he actually doesn’t know his ethnicity beyond being Latino, but he is Cuban-American

He’s emo and claims his favorite color is black, but it’s orange which is equally as bad

He has no real gauge of his own pain tolerance and usually has to be forced into medical situations by other people, usually Dream when he reports back to him

Ink’s allergic to bleach and ant bites

Cross

He hasn’t had his first kiss

He uses Old Spice cologne in the classic scent. But he does it to a NAUSEATING level.

He’s Irish, ethnically. I don’t make the rules.

He’s minorly lactose intolerant

This man owns like five Tamagatchis

He makes really good bread for some reason? Like this man SLAYS a sourdough

Cross uses 3-in-1 bodywash

(This is a Tamagatchi if you don’t know)

Blue

This man wears hair curlers to bed 100%

He’s really bad at math

Probably advocates for eating healthy (being a yoga instructor, possible influencer)

Blue is so ADHD to me

American-Italian/Portuguese

Has never made a bed in his LIFE

Blue seems like the kind of man who would burn water

Error

Clean freak, he prefers to keep the house clean, but it ends up a mess anyways because Cross and Nightmare always end up messing it up

Easily the best driver of the Meme Squad

His lock/homescreen is an inspirational quote

LOVES the rain, finds it calming and loves the smell of it, but hates getting caught out in the rain (loves the aesthetic, hates the actual thing)

Maybe American-Moroccan?

He likes dark fantasy books

Was top of his class when he had been in school, prior to his amnesia

Kevin

Can read. (Can’t write (no thumbs))

Can and does steal from the meme squad

Bonus:

How long I think it takes DS to get ready in the mornings:

Dream takes a solid hour and a half

Blue takes an hour

Nightmare takes 45 minutes

Cross and Ink take 15-20 minute for the sake of layers

Error and Finch take like 5 bc they dress really basic

dreamswap by @\onebizarrekai

[eurodyning]

Six Song Soundtrack - Tyrell "Orion" Cormier

Rules: If you're tagged, make a new post with links to music and/or lyrics describing the following:

An event that defines your character’s past: Father - The Front Bottoms

I believe that, yeah, Dad, maybe no one is perfect But I believe that you were pushing your luck It just sucks it played out like this A terrible movie and you can tell none of the actors even give a fuck

The Father Complex - Many Rooms

I bet you're looking for a "sorry" I'm looking for one too What goes on inside your heart? What makes you do the things you do? Do you really talk to God? Man, I wonder what he tells you Maybe he has given up The way that I gave up too Well, I hope that you're happy Without me

How to Never Stop Being Sad - dandelion hands

My life is shit because I deserve it, right? You must have done something real bad

Allow yourself to lose interest in the things you love Watch as you begin to take a backseat to the world around you, don't fight it Become a secondary character in your own motion picture But most importantly Drown every single one of your feelings in old stolen rum Learn to love the taste of it dripping down your throat Find comfort in the warmth coming from your stomach You're drinking bottled love now You don't need other people to drive away your loneliness

How your character sees themselves: Toxic Thoughts - Faith Marie

If this isn't right Then does that mean I failed? Will my melodies ever live up? Will my metaphors be profound enough? Will I ever outdo myself? The ceiling gets higher and higher It's harder and harder to shatter And when I fall I fall worse than I ever did before

How others view them: Art Hoe - Call Me Karizma

5'4", black hair, never had her dad there Kissed a lot of boys but Never seems to have care She just wants vodka and cigarettes Has the dealer on speed-dial when she gets stressed

Wakes up at noon Gets up when she has to Makeup on her nightstand Cocaine in her bathroom She just wants love that she never gets Has my number on speed-dial when she needs sex

Their closest relationship (platonic or romantic): Young American -The Vaccines

Hold me in the grips of your jaw So you can show me what my mouth is for Suffocate me in between your thighs And take me swimming, naked, in your eyes

Pull me into orbit with your hands Then show me where you wanted me to land

Heavy and aggressive, I'm your thug So easy and obsessive, I'm your drug

A major fight scene: Move Like U Stole It (Remix) - Z Ward, Paul Oakenfold

Can't wait another mile The world ain't ending but it might as well be I'll rock you like the sea Buildings ain't crumbling but they might as well be So let's not think and just Move like you stole it Move, hurry Move like you stole it Make your move on me

End Credits: In the Modern World - Fontaines D.C.

In the modern world I don't feel anything in the modern world I don't feel bad Kissing on the corner Wait for just a minute I don't feel bad I feel alive in the city you despise

tagged by @aztarion thank you jez! ❤️

a toreador (🚩) with substance abuse and father issues? well i never. as expected i couldn't stick to the six song limit. have a sunny crossover meme i threw together in a minute

i've never talked about my boy tyrell on here before but maybe i will post more about my ocs in time. tagging: @psych0ruinz and anybody else who would like to play!!

dividers by @diableriedoll !!

[theworldvsyoshiko]

Meph is turning out to be more of a goody-two-shoes than anticipated. Like yeah, she loves murder and drinks like a pint of human blood every day, but she's legitimately nice to the people around her while they're alive, and seems to fall in love with basically every person she gets to know. Even when that person is an incompetent guy named Humps who tried to kill her like three days ago.

With no Emancipation meme, she's also lacking one of the major avenues to liberate lots of kids. And it seems like she needs a steady stream of new kids, because a lot of them are dying. There's probably nothing problematic to consider there. Children love combat. It'd frankly be irresponsible to not let them charge gun-wielding enemies with axes.

Monastic is turning out to be a pretty boring meme too. It's rated as a 3-star one, which means that it's supposed to be a huge colony-defining thing like 'we only want to eat human flesh' or 'we believe that animals are people and behave accordingly', but it really just means that they want to sleep in a mediocre barracks and don't like booze or sex. That's mostly easier than the base game--booze and sex aren't huge mood improvements or anything, and a mediocre barracks is really easy to build. And honestly, what kind of samurai doesn't appreciate some sake now and then?

So, I think it's time for some alterations to Hyper-Bushido.

(Full disclosure: some combination of mods that I've installed seems to have kinda broken the ideology editing interface to let me add basically anything to any ideology. Like, I could make a group of vegans who have a cannibalism festival. I am fully taking advantage of this, because some of the restrictions are silly anyway. And also using dev mode to edit the ideology mid-game in the first place.)

Presenting the new Hyper-Bushido, with one of the best randomly-generated texts I've seen:

The era of self-denial is over. It's time for some Suika shit.

Other features include:

They can now perform the Emancipation ritual to free slaves.

Gladiator duels are still on the menu. Look, Meph isn't a horrible person, but she still has her murder-based vices.

All ideology-based restrictions on sex and romance have been lifted. As long as they're old enough, she could sleep with every single person she meets.

Charity is in the mix now, so she's obligated to help out anybody who asks her for it. This does get back to the problem Yoshiko had where she's going to constantly feel guilty for telling adults that they can't move in with this group.

She's going to want a steady supply of booze, which is going to be an issue in the near future, because she has no idea how to make it.

[suchagallabitch]

🫵weekly wednesday tag 🫵

omg I (simple old me?) have been bestowed upon the honour of coming up with these questions??? i would like to thank the academy for this most sacred honour 😋

1. if you could switch bodies with anybody for only one hour who would it be and what would you do? I think I gotta say taylor swift OBVI. first off im gonna dropping ME! acoustic version. Then I’m gonna hope lover deluxe is already recorded, drop that. If not i will make sure to text Jack and tell him that we need to record it so that i get it either way 😼. Then I would find out the definite truth of what happened between her and Karlie Kloss. I’d wire myself (as in me- me) a few million dollars, pet the cats and then post something really random on her instagram story. Literally want to make the public go absolutely bananas trying to figure out why taylor posted a random twitter meme. I have a lot of faith to believe this could all happen in an hour but I would try. SO hard.

2. whats your most trivial / dumbest hot take?I don’t think we should still be discovering animals. like what do you mean in the year of our lord 2023 we are STILL finding animals?? no they should all be discovered and if they havent been then i think they should stay undiscovered.

3. if you had to teach a college course what would it be in? I feel like we’re all expecting me to say something Taylor related but honestly I could teach a masterclass on the psychology of Ryan Murphy. I hate that man and i have so much to say about him and his productions

4. season 12 of shameless is suddenly happen and youve been put in charge! what plot point(s) are you gonna make happen? I cant think of anything substantial to actually contribute but i want Carl Gallagher to have a fruity little vape. I also want to see him quit the force and flourish in a new job!

5. who would be your godly parent? (can be any mythology). I’m gonna go with greeks as a Percy Jackson stan. I asked my bsf who is an expert in greek mythology. She said: “you’re a Aphrodite child cuz you’re a hopeless romantic and you appreciate beauty. You’re very particular in how you’re viewed and how everything you produce is viewed (what you write, how your feed looks like, etc.)” - I’m gonna have to agree with her on Aphrodite

6. what’s something you love about yourself? I think i’m so very very funny

7. describe your day in 5 emojis: 😴👁️👩‍💻✈️☕️

8. what shameless character do you think you could beat in a fight? Realistically i think the ONLY person i could beat in a fight is Liam and honest to god im not even sure i could.

9. tell us 2 truths and a lie, we’ll try to guess the lie!

- I’m double jointed

- I sleep on the left side of the bed

- I’ve never had pumpkin pie

10. do you have a pet(s). if so how did they get their name? I do! my son (cat) is named Chidi after the good place!

11. show us a meme (or picture) that captures your essence

self explanatory.

12. whats your typical coffee / tea / beverage order? see i gotta have a special lil drinky drink everyday and i mean my little drinky drinks are free so i am likw 80% gingerbread chai at any given time. Alternatively, an iced chestnut praline latte w/ praline cold foam.

13. use a song to describe the last 5 years of your life?

2019- its nice to have a friend- taylor swift

2020- ribs - lorde

2021- nothing new - taylor swift

2022- first love / late spring- mitski OR orlando- leith ross

2023- true blue - boygenuis OR now that we don’t talk - taylor swift.

Thank you friends thats all i got :)

I Tag: @deedala @darlingian @michellemisfit @mybrainismelted @too-schoolforcool @gallawitchxx @gardenerian @sam-loves-seb @thisdivorce @xninetiestrendx @scarcrosseduntouched @juliakayyy @y0itsbri @grumble-fish @grumpymickmilk @transmickey @surviving-maybe @metalheadmickey @heymrspatel @auds-and-evens @deathclassic @flamingbluepanda @crossmydna @sleepyfacetoughguy @vintagelacerosette @depressedstressedlemonzest @thepupperino @squidyyy23 @energievie 🫶🫶

[stillaclownlol]

Thanks to @canadianlucifer for the ships questions :>

MORE aidlyn because I just. Need this for my mental health guys.

Actually I've been thinking about doing stuff for other ships?? But idk let me know if yall wanna see that ^_^

1. Who would ask the other "would you still love me if i was a worm?" And what would the others reaction be?

...You guys know Aiden would ask 💀 He also asks stuff like "would you love me if I was a shoe" and other bullshit. Ash just looks at him like "...what."

2. Who plans the best dates?

Depends on your definition of best. Aiden plans all the cool/exciting stuff and he actually has the money for all the stuff he wants to do with her. Ash's dates are more romantic, if only by virtue that they're in quiet places where they can be alone. Tho neither of them plan dates a lot they just kinda end up alone together lol

3. Who's the best at carnival games?

Aiden's been to a lot of carnivals and he's a good shot with a BB gun! Ash doesn't really like carnivals (overstimulating) but she's good at the fish pond and ring toss.

4. Who drags the other onto rollercoasters?

Aiden LOVESSSS rollercoasters so much, its a great way to get his adrenaline up! He'll ask Ash a lot to go on one too, but he won't force her (rollercoasters are *really* loud, especially all the people screaming, and he wouldn't make her do anything that causes her pain)

5. Who does the most chores?

Ash is pretty strict about chores, and she makes sure any household stuff is evenly split between them, but...I mean, she helps Aiden with his own chores cuz he's really bad at cleaning and stuff 🫠

6. Who gets drunk faster?

At some point in the future: Depends what you mean. Aiden has a higher tolerance but he would also drink WAAAAAY more than Ash ever would, so he would get drunker "quicker", but if they were drinking exactly the same Ash would get tipsy faster (vertically challenged struggles fr 😔)

7. Who watches more reality TV?

Aiden likes all that crap like Big Brother and stuff, watches reruns at night when he can't sleep.

8. Who is more likely to insist their way is the best way, even though objectively its the worse?

Ash is more stubborn than Aiden is but her way is probably waaaay better than Aiden's way 🤡 Aiden might insist for a bit but he also finds arguing to be kinda boring so eventually he would drop it

9. Who believes in ghosts?

Ash doesn't believe in ghosts at all, and Aiden is really into the idea of ghosts and would LOVE evidence, but he also doesn't believe in them.

10. Who texts the other memes?

I don't think Ash has texted a meme to anybody in her entire life. So...Aiden.

11. Who makes the most typos/autocorrect mistakes?

Aiden because he types really fast and he doesn't bother to fix the mistakes lol

12. Who's the nervous flier?

Ash has never been on a plane, and she doesn't like doing stuff that's outside her comfort zone, so she's the more nervous flier. Aiden doesn't like flying but only because it means he needs to sit still for more than an hour and he cant do that shit happily 🤡

13. If they had matching profile pictures would they be cute/funny/weird?

Aiden would beg to match pfps because he's an absolute dork. it can't be anything too weird because like...Ash isn't into that. Would probably be smth really basic like Hello Kitty and Tuxedo Sam or whatever (he's Hello Kitty) if Ash even wanted to do it.

14. Who is better at writing formal emails?

Thank you discord for helping me settle this. We settled on Aiden because his parents/tutor definitely would have taught him how to do that so they could be in contact/to teach him about their job. Ash only does them for school and they end up really short and simple.

15. Who steals the others food?

Aiden always offers Ash his food, so she doesn't even need to steal 🤡 Aiden will do it mostly to mess with her lol

16. Who is more willing to commit murder for the other?

Lol. Guess. :)

17. When their kid is chanting "McDonalds!" Who is joining the chant, who is saying there's food at the house, and who is pulling up to order a single black coffee and leave?

Aiden is joining the chant because he's always up for McDonalds, but Ash is driving and she's driving home 😭

18. Who uses the most slang?

Aiden unironically

19. Who uses emoticons?

Aiden feels a spiritual connection with the smiley face emoticon

20. Who'd slay at the Met Gala?

Um they'd both slay �� But Ash would slay harder I mean have you seen her fits??? I literally wanna steal her closet omg

[aerodaltonimperial]

Drabble meme

"amuse me"

(wasn't sure for characters, so went with my gut lol)

"Okay, walk me through this again?"

"I accidentally sent him an Instagram reel."

Hook frowns. "You do that all the time, though—send people reels, which, by the way, I've been meaning to talk to you about. You send, like, 30 at a time. Dude. I'm not watching all of those."

"Hook!" Jack wails. "Focus!"

"Fine. You sent him a reel. Why are you midway into a panic attack right now?"

And Jack is, too, which is weird, since he'd come dashing into Hook's dressing room and thrown himself, with actually rather impressive force, against the door. Slamming it had rattled the entire wall. "Because I meant to send it to you."

Hook shrugs. "One less for me, I guess. Win-win."

"Hook!" Jack exclaims. He's sort of gasping like a beached fish, all raspy and thin. "You are not grasping the gravity of the situation here!"

"Obviously not," Hook sighs. "Okay. What did the reel say? Was it one of those reaction videos to the caulk again, cause while those are funny, they aren't exactly—"

Jack shoves his phone in Hook's face, and Hook blinks at the screen. A photo of a beach at sunset, which actually looks nice, and then text that says how do I politely ask him to shove me against the wall and make out with me?

"Boy, I'm glad you didn't send this to me," Hook mutters. He looks up. Jack's easily three-fourths of the way into the panic attack now. "Okay, but this could be about anybody. ...male. So what's the big—"

"I typed with it, Hook, because I thought I was sending it to you!"

Hook needs a fucking drink. He rubs at his eyes. "What, exactly, did you type with it?"

Jack sucks in a deep breath. "See, I thought I was sending it to you, and I—"

"Jack."

"I wrote, 'he's scheduled against Marq Quen tonight," Jack moans, all high-pitched and screechy.

"Oh," Hook says. The worst possible thing: referencing tonight's card. "Yeah, you're fucked."

Jack makes a strangled-sounding noise. "Hook!"

"Look on the bright side! Now you don't have to figure out how to ask him, because he already knows it's what you want." Hook points to the door. "In fact, you should go stand in the hallway, and wait and see if it happens. Far, far away from me."

[oceanictarot]

Pick a card

Take what resonates

Leave what doesn't

If you picked ⭐

The world

There is a very cyclical nature to the world and our place in it. We are constantly growing and changing and when we're gone the people that come after us will learn the same lessons we spent our entire lives learning. Birth and death are an unchanging constant things start they end and then they repeat themselves. Look at nature we see the birth death and rebirth cycle happening every year. For as long as people have existed we have known that pattern belief systems have been formed around it and the stories we tell are inspired by it. In the end of the day things will end as they began. If you dwell on the fact that things end you will miss out on the beautiful experience that makes living worth it. A lot of people say that life is important because you die but life is also important because you live. In the end of the day thousands of years from now no one will remember that you existed. But in a lot of ways you still do in the subtle legacies you left behind that your ancestors will look back on even from a scientific perspective your atoms still exist in the air future people will breathe, the water they drink and in every part of their lives. Sure you won't exist in the way you do now but you will still exist. That being said, just live not for anybody else or to try to make a mark, live for yourself and for the joy you can find in everyday things because at the end of the day that's what really matters.

If you picked 😺

Strength

You often put on a brave face and act as though you have everything together. And to your credit you do have a lot of people fooled people often think you don't need help because you're the strong one that helps everyone else. Inside you know you very much need help but you don't want others to know that because it makes you feel vulnerable. It's okay to need help everybody does it doesn't make you weak

If you picked ❤️

Knight of cups

You use escapism as a way to avoid how messed up the world is. Your logic is everything is on fire so if I distract myself with enough fantasy I don't have to look at the fire it's like that one meme

The fire is still very much there you are still getting burned. Escapism is great and healthy doses it is fantastic but if you are always relying on escapism all you're doing is delaying realizing how much things are affecting you and when you finally come up for air and look around you you will find yourself absolutely crushed.

[jesuisgourde]

lol having no friends and no community and also being a person who doesn't drink and doesn't have the schedule to do theatre or the conviction to do activism fucking sucks lol i don't have any friends i don't know anyone i'm trying to find a roommate and haven't vibed with anyone except one person who decided not to move because of personal life stuff and like i don't know anybody and i really really don't want to get stuck with a roommate i don't like much because i've done that before and it's absolutely awful and it makes me want to literally die. also like i have no idea how to make friends or make a community. like i'm not a cis woman who wants to like have brunch and drink wine or whatever and i'm not into nerd stuff that has built in community like comiccon shit and i'm not passionate enough about the "alt" stuff that has community to join that community either. like what's that new meme going around about matching each other's freak or whatever. like i feel like my interests and things are weird they're just not weird in a combination or a theme that most other people have or if they do have my same interests they're either a) living with a partner already or b) in a totally different country across the atlantic

[rottenrewards]

( NICK ROBINSON .  MALE .  HE/HIM )  - the  chicago  resident , ELLIOT WEAVER ,  was  heard  blaring  END OF BEGINNING / DJO  this  morning  .  the  TWENTY-NINE  year  old  is  a  lottery winner   in  the  city  &  has  lived  the EAST  tower  for  TWO MONTHS .  since  being  here  ,  they  have  been  told  to  be  GLUM  ,  but  also  GENEROUS ,  i  guess  we'll  find  out  soon  !   [  MAD, 27, THEY/THEM, PST  ]

Name: Elliot Timothy Weaver Nicknames: Eli, Ellie, E.T. Age: 29 Birthday: October 15th, 1994 FC: Nick Robinson Gender: Male Pronouns: He/Him/His Sexuality: Bisexual Height: 5′11 Blood Type: A+ Build: Medium Vices: Cannabis, Alcohol, Cigarettes Favorite Colors: Red & Orange

History

Elliot grew up entirely average. Greatness wasn't in store for the middle Weaver child. His older brother was a football star and his younger sister was a pageant queen and as a result his parents attention was usually used up in pursuing his siblings dreams. Elliot never minded much. His nose was typically buried in a book as he was dragged along for support to his siblings endeavors. As he grew up the more Eli branched out on his own. He found himself friends with the band geeks and nerds more than the popular crowd his family was drawn to. He was never prom royalty but he also never wanted to be and he was entirely content. He had a girlfriend whom he loved and friends who he could depend on, what more could he ask for? When Elliot graduated high school he decided to stick around in Amarillo. The town might be small but it was his home and after a few years at the local community college he got a job in auto insurance. He was still with the same girl from high school who he proposed to at the age of twenty-six after being together for ten years. Life was good for Eli and he saw his whole future ahead of. Marriage, a couple of kids running around, and a small house he'd call home, maybe even a white picket fence. All of that changed one fateful afternoon in August of 2023. Elliot came home on his lunch break only to catch his fiance with another man. He was heartbroken and the simple life he'd had planned for himself was ruined. The engagement was off then and there and Eli quickly spun downward.  Life had gone to shit. His fiance moved out (and in with the guy she'd been cheating with) and Elliot spent most nights drinking and wallowing in self pity. Things couldn't have gotten any worse and miraculous it didn't. Almost two months after his break up Elliot's life would change again. He was never much of a gambler but one night when buying cigarettes he decided to purchase a lottery ticket from the gas station. Never in Eli's wildest dreams did he expect to actually win but he did. 16.8 million dollars to be exact. His life changed overnight once again. His achievement became the biggest story to hit Amarillo history in the last 20 years and it seemed everyone who'd ever known Elliot was coming out of the woodwork including his ex.  Everyone put a bad taste in his mouth and after he'd been coerced into giving away nearly a million dollars to various different people in a very short period of time Elliot went into hiding. He could no longer trust the people closest to him as they all seemed to turn green with envy or fat with greed. His new found wealth made him incredibly lonely and forced him to outgrow his town he'd once called home. Elliot settled on Chicago because he'd always wanted to visit the city and wanted a complete change of pace and be somewhere he could blend in.

Headcanons

Elliot's life is a mess. He's still recovering from his recent breakup over the summer and now that he's a millionaire he really doesn't know how to act. One minute he's celebrating and the next he's crying because his Spotify Wrapped playlist reminds him of home.

He is the embodiment of the meme "If I ever win the lottery I won't tell anybody but there will be signs". He doesn't boast about his wealth but he's definitely treating himself and is very generous with his money. He has been known to give 50% to 100% tips at businesses around town.

He's stopped doing laundry all together. Now he simply donates his clothes and buys new ones when he needs them. Laundry has always been his least favorite chore and now that he doesn't have to clean his clothes he won't.

He spontaneously drops twenty dollar bills around just to brighten people's days.

There's always a pile of packages waiting for him at his mailbox. Half the time he doesn't know what he's ordered because he's developed a late night spending habit whenever he can't sleep.

[therecordconnection]

Ranting and Raving: "Espresso" by Sabrina Carpenter

Have you ever just been out in the world, minding your business, only to hear a song out in the wild for the first time and it just grabs you in a chokehold? For me, “Espresso” by Sabrina Carpenter is one of those songs. It’s one of those pop songs that just makes you turn your ear towards a speaker and ask, “Oh. What is this?” I heard it for the first time in a store (rhymes with Schmarget) and then proceeded to listen to it about eighty more times after that. A great pop song will make you do that and this one is one of the best of the year so far. I mean it.

I knew who Sabrina Carpenter was before this song (I mostly live under a rock, but I still be knowing things from time to time) but I’m obviously not her target demographic and nothing she had done before really gripped me the way this has. Everything about “Espresso” is perfect and I’m ready to do what this series does best: annoy you with many MANY words about a song I love. If you want a silly review of this song in a TL;DR single sentence, I would say, “I don’t drink coffee... but this song must be what having a caffeine addiction feels like!”

The first thing that truly gripped me about this song is just how FUN it is! There’s so much magic packed into three and a half minutes and it serves as a perfect reminder of why I love and enjoy pop music when it gets it as right as a Starbucks barista who has my usual order down to a science. It’s upbeat, it’s catchy as hell, the lyrics are fun to sing along to. What more do you need? This isn’t a song that re-invents the wheel and that’s because it knows it doesn’t have to. Like her reference to Nintendo in the chorus (“Switch it up like Nintendo”) the primary concern is about whether the song is fun to listen to and if it’s something you’ll want to hear again and again and not get bored of. In a way, this song is like the Super Mario World of pop music; a song that provides comfort and fun and it doesn’t require a lot of knowledge and skill in order to enjoy. Anybody can pick it up, start playing, and have a good time with it.

Which means a lot these days.

At the time of this writing, everybody and their favorite wine aunt is currently dissecting Taylor Swift’s newest album, The Tortured Poets Department, searching for hidden meanings and clues and signs about her relationships between her and Matty Healy from The 1975 or British actor Joe Alwyn (take your pick). I didn’t hate TTPD, but the album also didn’t do much for me because it’s so deep within the Taylor Discographic Universe (the TDU) that unless you have a decade of lore explained to you, those songs lose a lot of appeal and power. It’s like watching Avengers: Infinity War when all I’ve ever watched is Iron Man. Taylor isn’t the only one that’s been suffering from this. Ariana Grande’s newest album Eternal Sunshine comes with the baggage of that whole thing that happened between her and that dude who played Spongebob on Broadway or something. The most I’ve ever heard about “The Boy Is Mine” in terms of discourse are all the jokes and memes about how she’s singing about a guy who weirdly looks exactly like her brother and spent years being an adult man playing Spongebob on stage. Even Miley Cyrus’ “Flowers,” the biggest song of last year, loses some of its impact if you’re like me and couldn’t give a shit about Liam Hemsworth or the emotional roller coaster story of her relationship with him. 

Granted, you can still listen to all of these things with their real world inspirations and contexts removed and get just as much, if not more, out of that, but there’s just something really refreshing about being able to enjoy a song without needing an entire “____ iceberg explained” video in order to truly “get it.” I got “Espresso” immediately and the only real world context I can gather is that she probably wrote this song about one or many dudes that have been “down bad” for her. I shudder to think which niche micro-celebrities with the over-inflated attitude that comes with the phrase “I have a post that got over 10,000 notes on Tumblr” have said or done while attempting to shoot their poorly aimed shot with her.

That’s a good place to start talking about the lyrics to the song, which are all about her being playful with a guy and basking in how he is absolutely obsessed and crazy with her. More important than the words themselves is how Sabrina delivers them. There’s a really great balancing act where it’s just the right level of confidence and the belief that you’re hot shit, without going overboard into arrogance. She maintains a constant level of playfulness throughout the entire song and it’s great! It starts as soon as the second line of the chorus hits at the beginning of the song: “Is it that sweet? I guess so.” 

There’s also the line that begins the second verse: “I'm working late 'cause I'm a singer.” I absolutely adore the way she says that line. Every. Single. Time. Again, it’s just the right amount of playful and sarcastic. I can picture the conversation that line would be featured in if anybody she’s dated within the last three years has foolishly asked her if she’s busy tonight.

“Wyd tonight, babe? 😜” “I’m working late.” “What?? Why? 🥺” “...‘cause I’m a singer.”

That line reads like she’s had to answer that question one too many times to one too many idiots. Whether it’s studio time or live performance, singers be working at night. Duh. It’s such a fun line and it gets stuck in your head. You wait for it each time you listen and I can’t imagine the feeling of being in a whole stadium full of people all singing that line together. It’s such a delicate tightrope being walked so damn well, especially since it can go sour so fast if you perform it the wrong way. The following line, “Oh, he looks so cute wrapped around my finger” keeps that playfulness while also making you feel a little bad for the guy. I say a little bad because it’s very obvious who has the power and control in this:

I can't relate to desperation My give-a-fucks are on vacation And I got this one boy and he won't stop calling When they act this way, I know I got 'em

We’ve all known someone who is casually seeing someone and they’re just way crazier about the person they’re seeing than the other is for them. That’s not to say she doesn’t sound invested in this guy during the song, but you get the feeling one of them knows it’s a fun little fling and the other is starting to get obsessed and isn’t seeing things that way. 

It’s not hard to see why he’s getting addicted. I’m hooked on this song the same way dude is hooked on Sabrina. This song has this utterly hypnotic quality to it and at the 1:09 mark when you start hearing “Yes” after every line it reflects getting that hit, that thing you want once you’re addicted and craving more. “Soft skin and I perfumed it for ya” (Yes). “I know I Mountain Dew it for ya” (Yes). “That morning coffee, brewed it for ya” (Yes). It’s a small detail, but I always try to stress that the small details matter and always add up to something bigger. The more you listen, the more you get hooked on her the same way the guy in the song is getting hooked.

Now that I’ve mentioned it, can we talk about that Mountain Dew line? I’m sure some people think it’s a stupid and bad line, but those people are absolutely wrong. It's silly on the surface but works well as a clever double entendre ("I mount and do it for ya"). There’s four lines in this song that I could see somebody writing off as “bad lyrics.” The list includes:

“That’s that me espresso” (A little clunky, but does what it needs to do in order to set up a good metaphor for being the thing someone is addicted to)

“Move it up, down, left, right, oh / Switch it up like Nintendo” (Sounds like a joke bar your friend would spit in the car while making a joke about bad rappers who think they’re geniuses)

“My honeybee, come and get this pollen” (This wouldn’t sound out of place if it was said at the end of a James Bond film)

“I know I Mountain Dew it for ya” (This has definitely been said by a man who thinks he’s a sex god but only lasts the amount of time it takes to microwave a Hot Pocket)

The reason I put all of these lines in an organized list is to show one other thing this song does right: This is a silly song and it basks in the fact that it’s a silly and fun little song.

There’s a quick moment at 2:16, where Sabrina just says the word “stupid” before the song launches into the chorus again. I imagine that’s at the expense of the guy in the song, but I also treat it as her wink-and-nod to me that she’s aware this whole song is just silly, innocent fun and that I too should treat it as such. It doesn’t take anything away from the song, not one bit. If anything, it keeps it light and enhances everything it does right. If Taylor had said “I know I Mountain Dew it for ya” at ANY point during TTPD’s runtime, the masses would’ve erupted with laughter, scorn, and enough posts that you’d never hear the end of it. It works for Sabrina because a lot of her music is more upbeat than Taylor’s recent stuff has been and silly lines like that are quickly becoming her bread and butter. One of the biggest charms about her biggest hit from last year (“Nonsense”) is that it ends with literal nonsense bars that have nothing to do with the rest of the song: “This song catchier than chickenpox is / I bet your house is where my other sock is / Woke up this morning, thought I’d write a pop hit, ha-ha / How quickly can you take your clothes off? Pop quiz.” She’s taken that joke further by making up different stupid and silly outros every night she performs it just to get a laugh out of the audience. My personal favorite one: "This crowd is giving me all the endorphins / I wish someone would rearrange my organs / Philly is the city I was born in". 

The last thing we need to talk about is the absolutely gorgeous and wonderful music video she made for this. It’s a rare Dave Meyers W in this day and age, as he’s responsible for two of the absolute worst videos I’ve seen this decade: Ed Sheeran's "Bad Habits" and the Megan Thee Stallion and Dua Lipa collab "Sweetest Pie." That said, when he’s good, he’s GOOD and it makes you forget every bad video he’s ever made (which is more than just the two I mentioned...)

The cinematography is gorgeous, the choreography is great, Sabrina looks utterly stunning and living her summer beach movie fantasies. Those shots of her doing sixties dances on a surfboard are fantastic and look like they’re straight out of a beach movie from that decade. The whole video has a sixties beach movie look to it, from Sabrina’s outfits all the way to the overall look and glow of the setting. Everything you imagine about a perfect summer is captured beautifully in this video. It’s a fun video that reflects the song in all the best ways. If pop music is escapism and is something designed to take you to another world for a short time, this song and video do just that. We’re all better for it.

Pop songs can be totally serious works of art, but “Espresso” proves they don’t always have to be. Sometimes a song can just be light and fun. “Espresso” knows what it is and it’s excited to be that for you. If you want to start buying stock in songs that might get the illustrious and coveted “Song of the Summer” status, I’m telling you to invest and put all of your money in this song right now because we’re going to the moon and beyond with it. The video for the song ends with Sabrina getting arrested for stealing a guy’s credit card and throwing him overboard at the beginning, with the final shot being the cop car she’s in having a speaker on top playing a little snippet of what will supposedly be Sabrina’s next song. Whatever she ends up doing next, I’m here for it. “Espresso” made me a fan and I’m excited to see whatever else she’s got because this song is everything I love about pop music packed neatly into three and a half minutes. This image from Twitter (Formerly Twitter) user @___bodacious sums up my feelings on Miss. Carpenter really well:

[uptonogoodindiememes]

One Tree Hill Sentence Meme - Hold My Hand as I'm Lowered

“Come on, we gotta go!”

“You’ve been out all night?”

“You have a photoshoot in like, now. You have to get up,”

“I can’t hear you. I’m asleep,”

“Can I just say, that I hate you?”

“You know I didn’t do anything, right?”

“I did not sleep with her, or do anything else,”

“How do you sleep at night?”

“Keep rolling,”

“I’m so happy we could make this work,”

“What happened to you?”

“Are you hungover?”

“I just need my pills,”

“Excuse me? You just got out of rehab, what is that?”

“Mocha, double, latte, extra foam,”

“Mocha, double, latte, no foam,”

“Coffee black, two sugars,”

“Why is she doing this to me?”

“Tell me you did not just say that,”

“She’s lying,”

“All I’m saying is that it’s a valid option, we should at least consider,”

“Are you here as a reporter, or as a friend?”

“Listen, if you need somebody to talk to, I’m here as a friend,”

“Off the record?”

“There’s a girl who’s threatening to file a paternity suit against me, unless I pay her a couple hundred thousand dollars to keep her quiet,”

“I hope it doesn’t come to that,”

“Come pose with me,”

“You want my opinion?”

“You’re the only one who tells the freakin truth around here,”

“I remember the night we met. It was so romantic,”

“It’ll cost you,”

“Are we gonna catch this thing or what?”

“You’re looking at that thing like there’s a ghost calling you,”

“I just wish there was a way to make all of this go away,”

“If you love her, why wouldn’t you wanna be with her?”

“Come on, let’s get you home,”

“I’m sorry. . . Everything you said was true,”

“Do you believe in redemption?”

“So what’s with the self help books?”

“You wanna get out of here?”

“It just sucks, you know? Everything was going so great for us,”

“You know I’ve been in the tabloids as much as anybody, they lie all the time,”

“You wanna talk about it?”

“Truthfully? I wanna drink about it,”

“How am I gonna explain this to you?”

“I hate that somebody can do this to you and get away with it,”

“You’re the boy who owns the big house on the beach,”

“Wow, you’re a piece of work,”

“I hope you know what you’re doing,”

“I can be in your bed in twenty minutes,”

“What’s on your mind?”

“You can’t hide from what you did,”

“You’re gonna have to talk to me some time,”

“Well, at least you’re wearing pants,”

“I’m not even sure if I ever wanna get married,”

“I appreciate you meeting me,”

[bigenderanne]

Today was the first time I've checked my inbox since I wrote my side of the situation. I'm working on another post in my drafts now that's bringing out more emotions in me so it might take awhile as it goes more into detail my history with transphobia and abuse, but I wanted to write some more quick and to the point (and less triggery) for those of you who are checking in on me, and to answer a few questions that have repeatedly come up in my hundreds of asks.

Most of the asks have been supportive and checking in on my mental health and physical safety. Thank you for that! Obviously my mental health is still a little shaken, and I'm uncomfortable with the fact she knows we've bought a new house, but I believe we are physically safe. That being said, it is part of the restraining order that's she's not allowed to interact with us on the internet in any way, shape, or form, nor is she allowed to use any electronic means of communication to interact with us, either. This is why I have refrained from responding to any of her posts. It would be completely unacceptable for me interact with her with the expectation she cannot reply.

This leads me into restraining orders. No, you cannot get a restraining order on anybody for any reason. You certainly cannot get one "just because you don't like someone's hair color" as one asker put it. We had to provide evidence that it was necessary for our peace of mind and safety. Stalking is incredibly hard to prove, and "professional" stalkers know the laws and how to skirt them. I am lucky that she didn't. I've worked with people who have been stalked, due to the nature of my job, and will say I had it pretty easy in comparison, just due to the fact she was being so blatant.

I'm obviously not going to name names because she may be reading my blog, but if anything I say upsets her she only has herself to blame. Someone involved in the group chat had been lurking, just due to the fact they joined for the fandom and when it devolved into her talking about how much she hated me, they lost interest. However when she started talking about the intervention, they'd gone back and taken well over a hundred screenshots and compiled them into a folder. In these screenshots were also pictures she had taken of us from afar. Mostly pictures of me at clubs, or at arcades, or drinking/vaping, sometimes talking to men (strangers, people I never spoke to before or since, so I don't even recall these men, but I am a very chatty person and strike up conversations with people I don't know often) insisting that I must be having sex with them based on body language. If anybody even tried to say that I was just probably being friendly, she would immediately tell them she was going to kick them from the group. (She started the channel.) She would often post memes she found on the internet with the theme of how extroverts are terrible and simply leave my name as the comment. It seemed to have become a meme itself within the group chat: they'd find a meme about extroverts that was cruel, or even just a meme about how introverts are so much better, and simply respond with my name. This led to them using my face as a meme and simply reposting the extrovert meme texts around my face. The picture used was one she had taken of me sneezing, which looked absolutely ugly because I was sneezing. (To the handful of asks who made comments about me being an extrovert automatically made it ESH and all extroverts are obnoxious: try hard not to stress too much about starting high school in a few weeks. Freshman year is hard on everyone.)

Outside of the groupchat, although the photos she had taken of me without my consent was probably the only evidence really needed, "Mike" did recount the many, many times she would show up to events "coincidentally" or how she was shopping at all the places he shopped at the same time he shopped despite the fact she lived on the other side of the city where there are more stores closer to where she lives. Furthermore, many of our friends corroborated that she would often ask them what we were doing, if we had plans, and would often show up to events they were at but if we were not in attendance she would leave as soon as it was apparent we wouldn't be showing. Since we had all noticed this behavior, and die to my job I am well aware of the warning signs, we had all began writing down and taking pictures of these incidents, such as how her car was parked outside Mike's street (where it was public property) until two am a few times. The people that were in my house, I have come to find out, were minors, so im trying to be forgiving. I have not spoken to any of them since, and frankly I have no desire to ever speak to, or see, them again, but they are young and she absolutely had them convinced I was cheating. I ought to have called about her entering my home without permission, but I didn't. I didn't want to get cops involved.

Also, there has been a few "lesbians uhauling lol" comments that I can only assume are from terfs, so I don't particularly care, but for those who may be worried about the living situation for non terfy reasons: we have known each other for four years and been best friends for at least three of those four years. We got even closer this past year. Also, I was renting and the screaming did piss off my landlord and even though I explained the situation and I wasn't given an eviction notice, I didn't feel safe staying there because I started getting text reminders about noise complaints for, like, doing laundry in the afternoon. I brought up moving in together to his apartment, but we realized both of us were first time home buyers. He has good credit and doesn't have any school payments, so his debt to income ratio was practically nonexistent. I have great credit, although my DTI is higher than his. The mortgage was more than half what either of us were paying for rent. So really it actually made financial sense as well. We had been casually discussing it before we started dating, moving in as friends/roommates.

I feel like I'm doing as okay as I can, considering the circumstances. I'm a private person so I won't be putting my actual blog title nor hers anywhere. I have no desire to attract more attention to my blog, which is honestly just destiel, Good Omens, OFMD, and other ships. It's not a personal blog at all and I'd like to keep it that way.

[tsaritsa]

Congratulations on winning Nano!!! Any hot takes or unconventional tips on how to achieve a huuuge milestone like that in so little time?

Also, if you'd like to share, I'd love to hear more about the piece(s) you worked on during this year's event! Big yay if you want to tease us with a sneak peek as well. 🙂

Congratsss again!!!

ty!!!! i am afraid my tips might seem kind of obvious and not that much of a hot take but here's what worked for me:

writing sprints. do 10 min. do 17 min. do 30 min. whatever it is, just get words down on the page. after each sprint was finished i'd look at what i wrote, fix up the most glaring mistakes (espe if the words looked terrible. i've learned to live with a lot of spelling errors bc otherwise u waste too much time. during nano each day i'd prolly manage between 2-3 sprints -- usually enough to net me between 1000-1500 words each day. i wouldn't stop if i hit the daily total, i'd stop when i could feel the motivation waning. my lowest day was under 300 words, my biggest was just over 4000.

get a community. writing sucks alone. i feel very grateful that i've made some friends on here who were also trying to write regularly, so now there's 5 of us in a little discord i've made. we do sprints with each other and share lots of snippets, memes, pretty pictures etc. it keeps us excited about our own projects, but also allows us to cheerlead each other on.

get used to placeholders. i use TK. anytime there's a word i need but it's not on the tip of my tongue? TK my beloved. sometimes i'd write like she sighed in a TK kind of way, or like harry opens his mouth to argue about TK TK some work thing he's doing TK TK. it just keeps u in the pace of writing ur in, but allows for a few words to be spent writing down a piece that needs further expansion.

establish habits and goals. for me, it's stuff like trying to write the bulk of my writing with a nice candle lit, but also the silly stuff like putting on lippy so I feel like. Ready to do shit. have a few drinks avail. one to hydrate (ice cold) one to caffeinate (also ice cold). play music or sounds that will help u get into the zone without overly distracting. now that i've won it i'm gonna treat myself to some silly purchases as well bc i should reward myself for such hard work and dedication. i'm thinking a v comfy hoodie.

overall if i didn't have the community i had this month i think my external motivation would've been lost quickly, so find friends to yell at about ur project. watch yt videos about ppl doing writing! make posts and don't give a flying fuck about being cringe or not suiting ut 'aesthetic'. this is u. do it for U.

in terms of this project: the short version is hermione goes back to hogwarts post book 7 and has to slowly begin to recover from/learn to live with the PTSD she's gained. alas, draco is also back and she's gotta learn to make peace with the fact that he's allowed to want to change and that he's making small steps to become a better person than who he was. they're gonna kiss and be disgusting with each other. ultimately this is a story about hermione's journey, as the whole thing is written from her perspective, so although the dhr aspect is there, there are also other important relationships i want to focus on -- especially her and harry.

i'm ignoring/expanding on a lot of canon, and using some details from the movies i prefer over the books (namely her mudblood scar bc mmmmm parallels). i don't really know if anybody is in character but i don't care! this is my story and i'll do it how i see fit haha.

the following excerpt comes from late sept in the current draft. at this point dhr has been forced together a few times already. draco has surreptitiously managed to drug slughorn with a potion of his (slughorn's) own making during their potions class bc the potions professor was spending an entire lesson just showing off instead of. u know. teaching.