#( abuse tw )

[headspace-hotel]

I feel like this post and its notes should be like. Required reading for all medical students.

It's so scary how these biases in society have influenced the minds of everyone, even doctors, to the point that unexplained rapid weight loss is likely to be considered a "good" thing even though it's a sign of cancer and other life threatening illnesses.

I work at a daycare with infants.

One of our baby girls is fat, in the 99th percentile for her age. She is super cute and sweet. Lately, she has been sick with various breathing issues, so she has been reluctant to take her bottles. Normally, she’ll take 4 ounces of formula at lunch and 8 ounces in the afternoon. Today, I was lucky to get to her take 5 all day.

There was a substitute covering a lunch break in my classroom today. We emphasized to her that we need to keep trying to get the baby to drink her bottle until she finished it. She said, “Why are you guys so worried about taking her bottle?”

My coworker replied, “That’s where all her nutrients are. She needs the nutrients and the water.”

To which the substitute replied, “But she’s so fat. She doesn’t need it.”

Thin privilege is a small, pretty baby getting better childcare because the caretaker doesn’t think she’s too fat to be allowed to eat.

[compassionatereminders]

Mentally ill people actually get abused and assaulted at HIGHER rates than the average population. And we're not immune to genuine health emergencies and serious physical health issues either. The "they're mentally ill, so what they're complaining about is probably all in their head" ableism is hurting and killing many, many people

[anti-terf-posts]

okay just found this blog and it seems like a good space to share my only semi-personal story with a terf

So Posie Parker is like,,, one of THE famous terfs (in the uk at least idk her status in other countries). Like to the point she has a wiki page (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kellie-Jay_Keen-Minshull)

conveniently I went to school with her son. Extra conveniently, I was friends with him before I found out who his mother was / he found out I was trans (nonbinary specifically, I should mention I’m afab)

before he found out I was trans, he:

accused me of being ‘misandrist’ because I said periods hurt more than being kicked in the balls

regularly hit me. Like so much. To the point he dislocated my shoulder and gave me a concussion (separate cases) to prove women were weaker

threatened to rape me

after he found out I was trans he full on threatened to kill me and completely avoided me, then like a week later he was almost expelled for groping a girl on his class. Conveniently he got away with it because his mother was famous

my point is that in my experience terfs are adding to rape culture and raising very clear abusers

holy shit that's awful. Terfs really have no idea how their actions affect people. I wouldn't be surprised if behind closed doors they all make misogynistic rape jokes and victim blame assault victims.

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

npd culture is your ex being abusive and having NPD (i almost definitely do as well) but never wanting to talk fully about the experience because people keep acting like NPD is the REASON they abused me. no, that has nothing to do with it, only affects the ways in which they did. people with NPD are not inherently abusive and its so upsetting people think its okay to be ableist like that

.

[terrific-togekiss]

I can't help but feel as though writing them all off as coincidentally being man-hating lesbians, as letting their behaviour off the hook.

"They only treated the men they're with like $HIT because they didn't know what their actual sexuality was!"

The only thing stopping a woman from not being abusive, is NOT being abusive.

Not a hot take exactly but the whole “I’m bi but I haaaaaaaate dating men” thing just fucking sucks. Like it just sucks. I have a coworker who has a huge sticker that nearly covers the rear window of her car that says “SORRY BOYS I ONLY GET WITH GIRLS” or some shit and she literally has a boyfriend. Like fucking what. Why does your boyfriend put up with that at all

[lunadove]

Agatha's evil actions starting with the "killing" of her coven and mother, even though the situation was nuanced - her mother was abusive and Agatha taking the coven's power was an act of self-defense to keep them from murdering her. She could have been a completely different witch if she had a supportive parent/coven. She asked her mother for help and her mother refused, preferring to murder her teenage daughter instead.

Agatha became a villain bc that's clearly what she was expected to be. If that's what everyone sees, then why bother fighting it?

(I'm not getting into the Nicky situation, bc having a loving mother/coven would change Agatha so drastically it's impossible to accurately predict her future in that scenario.)

Billy has a similar nuanced situation - Sharon, Alice, and Lilia died bc he freed Agatha, bc he helped gather coven members, bc of the Road he created.

But the coven (except for Sharon) knew the road was life-threatening, and still chose to walk it. And Billy also thought the Road was real. He didn't know he'd created the Road bc he doesn't know enough about his powers or magic. He walked the Road bc he wanted answers, not to gain more power or harm witches.

But Agatha knows how quickly someone who sees themselves as a villain, someone with power and no teacher, can go down the wrong path. That Billy could think "Well if I"m a villain, what's the point of resisting?", that he could start to use his magic to hurt others if it gets him what he wants.

And so she shows up as a ghost to help and teach him, to make sure he doesn't go down the road she went down.

[cuntylouis]

what i don’t get is if armand loved louis lol i mean,i guess he did but i really don’t know and assad on sdcc iirc kinda said he didn’t he just wanted what louis had to offer or something like that. also many people say armand is actually all about lestat so idk,if he is,i hope louis really didn’t love him so much bc damn the guy gaslighted him and made him a prisoner while pining for lestat??? crazy shit if so and so unfair to louis. i really don’t know why nobody questions armand side,the guy orchestrated a public humiliation,almost killed him and killed his daughter but somehow is louis’s love into question but not armand’s 🤔

I think him loving Louis and wanting him for what he had to offer aren't mutually exclusive. It comes down to Armand being a selfish creature with this greedy emptiness that can never be filled. Armand is strongly drawn to Louis who's so full of life and emotion because he hopes Louis could complete him and bring him alive, but instead he ends up snuffing out all that life in Louis. Even in healthy passionate romantic relationships people often feel like the other person completes them and their life and gives them something invaluable, and what makes it different from unhealthy/abusive relationships is that you still see your partner as a full person on their own and respect their needs that could be different from yours. Armand constantly prioritizes his own needs in his relationship with Louis, it's all about Louis filling the role and purpose Armand wants. I think Armand does love Louis but that empty despair inside him rules his existence and ultimately everything, even his love for Louis and for some few other people, has to serve that emptiness.

That's actually an interesting point about how Louis' love for Armand is often questioned but Armand's love for Louis rarely is. I think Louis is much more loving and forgiving than people give him credit for. Throughout the show we constantly see him express kindness and forgiveness toward both Armand and other characters, often more than they give to him. I think in 2.05 that's particularly clear where after Louis and Armand's fight and Louis' subsequent suicide attempt, Louis is the one apologizing and trying to connect with Armand and be kind to him, whereas Armand is cold and angry and intentionally hurts Louis physically and emotionally. In the beginning of their relationship Louis forgives Armand for trying to kill him, their relationship is arguably already ruined from that moment because of Armand betraying him like that, but he still forgives him. He gives Armand so many chances, and when Claudia tells about Armand's threats he still wants to give him a benefit of doubt. Even in Dubai he's deeply upset when he realizes Armand has messed up with his memory and you can see from his face that a part of him still wants to believe Armand when he says he didn't do it or did it with Louis' permission. Even though Armand says he couldn't trust Louis' love to last that long, Louis is actually remarkably loyal despite Armand not really deserving it and it's Armand who isn't giving Louis that trust and loyalty back.

Wrt people who say Armand is just all about Lestat they're usually book fans who watch the show through those lenses. In the books Lestat is the center of the universe and Louis mostly just a stick figure. In the show Lestat and Armand (and other characters like Daniel) are likely to perceive their relationships in the context of their relationship with Louis

[teaboot]

When I was a kid, I regularly lost reading privileges for "having an attitude" and "acting out".

It wasn't as simple as being told not to read during other activities- one of the first times it happened, I remember being six years old, watching my stepfather pull fistfuls of books off my bookshelf and throw them to the floor in a heaping mess while I cried and asked him to stop.

It was weird. Every other adult I knew described me as exceptionally well-behaved, but at home, it was the opposite, and it was blamed on "learning bad habits from that shit you're reading".

Because I couldn't read at home, I spent all my free time at school in the library, reading with my friends.

When I grew up and moved away, I realized that my family life was toxic and abusive, and the "attitudes" I was being punished for were standing up for myself, standing up for my younger siblings, and resisting actual, real-life psychological abuse. Because I'd learned from what I'd read that my family wasn't normal, not like my parents said it was, and in my stories, the heroes were the people who spoke out when it was hard to.

It is insane to me that there are students right now who can't access books. It is insane that books are being outlawed. It is perverse that we are stealing away an entire generation's ability to contextualize their lives, to learn about the world around them, to develop critical thinking skills and express themselves and feel connected to the world or escape from it, whatever and whenever and however they need.

That is not how you raise a compassionate, thoughtful, powerful society.

That's how you process cattle.

It's fucking disgusting.

[auschizm]

Far too much talk about how "dangerous" psychotic/schizophrenic people are. Far too little talk about how easy it can be for an abuser to take advantage of a person who is already labeled as "crazy". We're usually among the victims - not the perpetrators.

[howlsnteeth]

24/05/2022

[uncanny-tranny]

Honestly, there is a certain type of fetishizing of violence that occurs when you are the victim of abuse - wherein people talk directly to you about how much they fantasize about your abuser/s dying and being killed - "all abusers must be killed!" they say.

As a victim of prolonged abuse, I never felt cared for when people indulged that information to me. It often feels like my abuse is being exploited for others to enact their own violent fantasies and secret desires - my abuse means nothing to them in the same way that I didn't matter to my abusers. It's not support - it's just another cycle of violence.

I'm begging people to care more about victims and survivors than they do about retribution of abusers. Nowhere along the way should your focus on the abuser outweigh the people affected by their abuse. If you truly want to support abuse victims and survivors, start with us

[compassionatereminders]

I am not saying that individual disabled people can't be abusive when I say that the general idea that a statistically significant amount of disabled people are disabled simply due to bad character because they cannot be bothered to even try is a harmful ableist strawman. I'm trying to have general conversations about the societal system of oppression and discrimination that ableism is which ideally shouldn't just be cast aside because you personally knew an abusive disabled person once

[genderkoolaid]

it really is crazy how women abusing men is still regularly (if "jokingly") viewed as a positive thing. like literally today i was talking to someone about having watched both misery & sunset boulevard in a film class & both of those being about men being abused by women & the person's response was smth like. haha yeah that's so empowering. like obviously these are fictional characters but y'all realize that treating individual human men like poppets to punish Mankind for it's Sins is fucked up and evil yeah. also this directly translates into how trans men are treated as free punching bags for people to take out their anger at more powerful cis men. idk call me crazy but i feel like if you can't hear about men being abused by women without making a "joke" about it maybe you just have a deep problem you need to work on

[snow-lavender]

my mind keeps circling back to "my silence was his peace" because that only proves truer by the hour. i am overflowing with respect for shubble; the amount of bravery and vulnerability it must take to put yourself in a position to be a catalyst like that is staggering. wishing her nothing but peace and happiness from here on out.

[cherryflavoredbutch]

instagram post: *video of a woman gently encouraging a hesitant child to go down a slide*

the first comment: this woman is violently pressuring her child to do something that they are clearly terrified to do, children should NEVER have to do anything they don't want to do, this kid is being abused and will grow up to hate their mother i hope someone calls cps on her

the second comment: kids are so thin skinned these days if it were my kid i would push it down the slide and laugh at it if it cried. this is the only way we will win the culture war

the third comment: she should have used a condom. this would make a great condom ad. no one cares that someone came in you. kids are not human. i hate kids so much.

the fourth comment: DM ME """HELP""" 🤝💪😤 I AM PAYING OFF DEBT OF FIRST 5 🎉 TO DM 💯💯💵💵 DON'T MISS THIS OPPORTUNITY 😍

[cuntylouis]

So? Who broke the ice? What were the first words of the ancient vampire to the future love of his life?

for @cypresssunns