#( abuse tw )

[thefallenstarfm]

@impcrios @silverbred

Brotherhood and Motherhood

[star-anise]

I just need to be cranky about a theme I see in philosophy/self-help spaces. There is a related discussion going on elsewhere about consumerism, environmentalism, and economics, but that's not the one I'm talking about right now. I'm talking about the advice given to people who are seeking to make their lives less better, less stressful, or healthier.

Anyway! My opinion:

A fundamental issue with ascetic self-improvement schemes like "Humans should just stop needing or relying on Stuff" is that we actually tend to be made of Stuff. Our fundamental experiences are mediated by Stuff. We live on a Stuff operating system, and the things we need often have to be in a compatible format. if you are getting rid of Stuff, then you're actually just trading it with the Stuff of absence and workarounds!

This isn't physics. We don't live in an infinite plane without mass or wind resistance. There is not actually One Fundamental Principle that will lead all humans to happiness, the same way there isn't One Fundamental Animal Food Recipe that will nourish all animals sufficiently.

I have just seen so many traps to toxic relationships and systems laid with the "no Stuff" philosophy. "Oh, you're not happy after getting rid of Stuff? Clearly you still have too much Stuff left!" and "I just think your reliance on that Thing that makes you feel happier and less stressful is unhealthy, so give it here, the only solution is for you to lose access to it forever"

Of course there's a baby in that bathwater; managing our relationships with Stuff is a constant struggle for all humans everywhere. But the absolutism without any nuance about how and why this issue actually functions really gets to me.

[signanothername]

If Nightmare somehow got his claws on Cross what would he first do?

Oof Anon, I think the correct question to ask is what he would not do hcchchch

Think of it this way, MTT have one single.. “advantage” for a lack of a better word, to being Nightmare’s subordinates

And that is Nightmare’s refrain from physically harming them.. much

Cause Nightmare cares about the practicality of everything and wants his plans to run as smoothly as possible, he doesn’t rely upon physical abuse as much as mental abuse when it comes to MTT, and even then, Nightmare tries to refrain from breaking them mentally either, he needs them to stay as functional as possible for long periods of time, if he does go beyond the usual limits he puts for himself and does something drastic, it’s either because he’s sure he doesn’t need them to work for a good amount of time, his plans can run with one or two people short for a good while, or he completely lost composure and did harm them beyond what he meant to do (now what Nightmare considers drastic vs normal is a whole other story, MTT are abused regardless)

Cross, on the other hand, is not Nightmare’s subordinate, never has been, nor does Nightmare care to recruit him in any capacity at any point in time, whether present or future, not only because Nightmare already sees the three under him as enough, positions already filled up, but he doesn’t see Cross as anywhere near competent either, so even if Nightmare actually did want to recruit someone, it certainly wouldn’t be Cross

Cross doesn’t have that.. “advantage” is what I mean to say, Nightmare wouldn’t hold back from torturing him physically, emotionally and mentally, there is literally no figurative shield between him and Nightmare’s wrath, the moment Nightmare has his claws on him it’s pretty much over for Cross unless someone somehow manages to find Nightmare’s castle to break him out (pretty much impossible), anything horrific you can think of? He’d probably do it, slowly break every single bone in his body, make him relive every single traumatic event in his life, hell, if he can, bring in his loved ones to slowly torture and kill them in front of him as he helplessly watches, literally make Cross beg and scream for mercy till his voice becomes hoarse, mentally manipulating him to distort his sense of time and reality

All of that, just because of a single broken deal

Tho if I have to be specific, I think the very first thing I can imagine Nightmare doing to Cross is mentally breaking him (Nightmare generally prefers mental torture over physical torture anyway), how would he do that?

Make Cross relive the moment he killed his loved ones and erased his AU over and over again till Cross is nothing but a weeping mess.. and maybe at some point, if possible, actually recreate that traumatic event and make Cross actually kill his AU a second time

[azelmaandeponine]

This whole thing about "Stan could had found a job back then without a high school diploma" made me think: did Stan had his birth certificate and social security card with him when he was kicked out? Because I think that even back then, these kinds of documents were necessary to be able to be employed, even if a high school diploma was not. I don't think Filbrick would remember to put that in the duffel bag, since it was already a miracle that he made one in the first place, and Stan is not the type of guy that I imagine that would walk around with these documents with him.

Employment wasn't as strict and rigid as it is today, but there's a very good chance employers would still ask for a SSN at the very least for tax purposes. If Stan didn't know his number or didn't have his social security card, getting employed would be very difficult.

And yeah. I really doubt Filbrick put that in the pre-packed duffel bag. Of course, I don't think Filbrick really cared, either. He most likely just through some things in a bag (probably clothes) and called it good.

[anendtopursuit]

not to gush too much abt neil newbon's performance as astarion (and stephen rooney's writing for him) but like. he's discussed on streams before how conscious the decision to make him feel like he's constantly performing is (regardless of outcome; theatrical spawn astarion & operatic ascended astarion), and how stephen rooney leaned more into the whimsy and fun of the character based on things he saw in his portrayal (hence astarion progressively getting funnier and more charismatic through game development). but the thing that drives me absolutely mad tbh is the moments where all of it drops and he's suddenly so sincere, because it hits you like a truck to the face.

his voice going all soft and quiet and brittle when he describes cazador instructing his spawn to torture themselves. his mannerisms shifting from seductive and playful to a little more nervous. but the one that always gets me is in the graveyard romance scene, talking about what cazador has taken from him, how it was taken by force; "but he did take it," in this voice that's so full of sorrow that it almost sounds hollow, muffled by none of his usual pomp and theatricality, when even in cazador's palace his admissions of upset were sandwiched between attempts to brush it all off. dear god.

[angstandhappiness]

INTERESTING

I love the visual storytelling in this show so much!

Because despite us never having seen Stella physically hit Stolas before this moment (she's thrown things at him, but that's technically a different thing, though, not any less abusive), everything in this scene proves it's happened before. They don't need to spell it out for us, they let the visuals speak for itself.

The way Stolas is backing away in fear, keeping his focus on her, because he knows exactly what's coming.

The only difference is that this time he's not scared anymore to defend himself (because he's officially hit his limit due to the night prior). Even Stella's shocked by it, showing us this really is the first time Stolas stopped her.

He tries to keep standing strong, but lets out a breath and sinks into himself the moment she leaves, because standing up to her took all the energy and willpower he had left in his body.

I feel like (well written) male abuse victim/female abuser is so hard to find in media, so I'm just so happy to see it here! I'm a firm believer of taking male abuse victims seriously, and that yes, even women can be their abusers.

[teaboot]

When I was a kid, I regularly lost reading privileges for "having an attitude" and "acting out".

It wasn't as simple as being told not to read during other activities- one of the first times it happened, I remember being six years old, watching my stepfather pull fistfuls of books off my bookshelf and throw them to the floor in a heaping mess while I cried and asked him to stop.

It was weird. Every other adult I knew described me as exceptionally well-behaved, but at home, it was the opposite, and it was blamed on "learning bad habits from that shit you're reading".

Because I couldn't read at home, I spent all my free time at school in the library, reading with my friends.

When I grew up and moved away, I realized that my family life was toxic and abusive, and the "attitudes" I was being punished for were standing up for myself, standing up for my younger siblings, and resisting actual, real-life psychological abuse. Because I'd learned from what I'd read that my family wasn't normal, not like my parents said it was, and in my stories, the heroes were the people who spoke out when it was hard to.

It is insane to me that there are students right now who can't access books. It is insane that books are being outlawed. It is perverse that we are stealing away an entire generation's ability to contextualize their lives, to learn about the world around them, to develop critical thinking skills and express themselves and feel connected to the world or escape from it, whatever and whenever and however they need.

That is not how you raise a compassionate, thoughtful, powerful society.

That's how you process cattle.

It's fucking disgusting.

[howlsnteeth]

24/05/2020

[auschizm]

Far too much talk about how "dangerous" psychotic/schizophrenic people are. Far too little talk about how easy it can be for an abuser to take advantage of a person who is already labeled as "crazy". We're usually among the victims - not the perpetrators.

[jofms]

it was as if the colour in josette's face had been sucked out at the mention that amelia could be here with her as she was seemingly drinking her sorrows when it was supposed to be an uplifting treat to herself. "unfinished-" the woman was about to interrupt the other but then the last words left her mouth, the words that mentioned him. amelia turning up had certainly been a catalyst for matthew, the reason why he had lost himself in a way he'd never done with josette before and it had left her in a bad physical state and even worse mentally. however, she didn't think that he had ever thought she was his daughter after he had been the one to interact with her first. the woman squinted her eyes; she could have sworn she had just seen the lights of the establishment flicker in their entirety but no one else flinched.

"unfinished business?" was her biological daughter now haunting her because her death had been so extreme and what she could only imagine as horrific? it had taken a second for the younger woman to get her to unravel in the ivy. it no longer felt cosy, it felt like a trap. "don't mention his name, please. people will hear and he'll get upset with me." it was clear that josette was still terrified over his capabilities despite having moments when she wished she was still with him. a chill at the side of her makes her jump but she turned to see nothing. desperate eyes looked back at the unexpected company. "what are her questions?"

Grabbing people's attention in unsavory manners was nothing new to Salem; she'd never touted an immaculate image as prima ballerina, though she could put on a good show to assuage the newsprint that she was suitable for the image that they'd like to project. Fine arts of the dance world were a subject of astute scrutiny, after all. But now she had nothing holding her back — or the gift she had estranged to keep to herself. Salem's thumbs wrestled together as she sat across from the other, a vague smirk resting upon her visage, her eyes darting in the direction of the empty seat as if listening to another unseen party at the table with them. "Well, that's rude to ask when she's sitting here with us, isn't it?"

The inflamed denigration from the other was not paid mind, looking away from the empty space to Josette's hands, saying bluntly, "You won't hurt me." If you know something — "I only know what she's telling me right now. That she has unfinished business with you and... I think his name is Matthew?" Black fingernails tapped against the tabletop, eyes as dark as coal gauging the movements and reactions she was garnering from the former therapist. "I think you probably already know the answers, right?"

[uncanny-tranny]

Honestly, there is a certain type of fetishizing of violence that occurs when you are the victim of abuse - wherein people talk directly to you about how much they fantasize about your abuser/s dying and being killed - "all abusers must be killed!" they say.

As a victim of prolonged abuse, I never felt cared for when people indulged that information to me. It often feels like my abuse is being exploited for others to enact their own violent fantasies and secret desires - my abuse means nothing to them in the same way that I didn't matter to my abusers. It's not support - it's just another cycle of violence.

I'm begging people to care more about victims and survivors than they do about retribution of abusers. Nowhere along the way should your focus on the abuser outweigh the people affected by their abuse. If you truly want to support abuse victims and survivors, start with us

[genderkoolaid]

it really is crazy how women abusing men is still regularly (if "jokingly") viewed as a positive thing. like literally today i was talking to someone about having watched both misery & sunset boulevard in a film class & both of those being about men being abused by women & the person's response was smth like. haha yeah that's so empowering. like obviously these are fictional characters but y'all realize that treating individual human men like poppets to punish Mankind for it's Sins is fucked up and evil yeah. also this directly translates into how trans men are treated as free punching bags for people to take out their anger at more powerful cis men. idk call me crazy but i feel like if you can't hear about men being abused by women without making a "joke" about it maybe you just have a deep problem you need to work on

[snow-lavender]

my mind keeps circling back to "my silence was his peace" because that only proves truer by the hour. i am overflowing with respect for shubble; the amount of bravery and vulnerability it must take to put yourself in a position to be a catalyst like that is staggering. wishing her nothing but peace and happiness from here on out.

[cherryflavoredbutch]

instagram post: *video of a woman gently encouraging a hesitant child to go down a slide*

the first comment: this woman is violently pressuring her child to do something that they are clearly terrified to do, children should NEVER have to do anything they don't want to do, this kid is being abused and will grow up to hate their mother i hope someone calls cps on her

the second comment: kids are so thin skinned these days if it were my kid i would push it down the slide and laugh at it if it cried. this is the only way we will win the culture war

the third comment: she should have used a condom. this would make a great condom ad. no one cares that someone came in you. kids are not human. i hate kids so much.

the fourth comment: DM ME """HELP""" 🤝💪😤 I AM PAYING OFF DEBT OF FIRST 5 🎉 TO DM 💯💯💵💵 DON'T MISS THIS OPPORTUNITY 😍

[danlous]

So? Who broke the ice? What were the first words of the ancient vampire to the future love of his life?

for @cypresssunns

[lucabyte]

sometimes everything just sucks real real real bad