#( character study: crowley ) / * records .

[luna-the-moth]

SHARE THE WORMS 🪱

SIDGFIOSD will do!

also note that i treat nrc like an actual college so all charas are aged up lol. gn! reader <3 mdni <3

im currently having thoughts about sub! azul with a reader who makes audio porn , , , if you're the ramshackle prefect, audio porn is a confidential, safer way to make money compared to onlyfans or camming, so it's been something you use to pay the bills or buy necessities crowley is stingy on providing...

you don't advertise it or anything, but you've gone up in the ranks in terms of popularity since you've began, mostly due to your flexibility and hours spent studying other audio porn creators.

azul isn't partial to the majority of pornography out there- there's not enough emotional impact for him to truly become invested unless he's truly and deeply pent up. but when he finds out audio porn is a thing (mainly bf/gf audios), he's intrigued. oftentimes, he'll go to an incognito window on his phone once he's done his nightly routine and settles in, letting him fall asleep to the sweet nothings of an imaginary lover. (he imagines it's you, really).

but he's a fickle thing, and often spends time scouring the pages of different forums and websites in order to find someone whose voice is similar to you.

it's never quite enough, but it's usually enough to satiate his desires.

that is, until he hears a familiar voice and is jolted awake. it's you.

it can't be...can it?

he's frantic, and proceeds to listen to your entire archive, touching himself until he's made a mess of himself over and over again until he falls asleep from exhaustion and spends the next day in a haze, questions about last night's finding cropping up like weeds.

is it really you? if so, why did you start this? it's not a secret crowley doesn't give you much of an allowance, but he didn't realize this is where you had earned your other madol- do you cater your audios to the type of person you'd be attracted to, or are you trying to appeal to a larger audience?

is there a person you're imagining yourself speaking to when you record these?

the possibility of you thinking of him while recording these audios, maybe even touching yourself to the thought of him when creating these...it makes his head spin.

he listens to your audios again that night, and the night after. if this is the position you feel comfortable with in your audios, then perhaps your preferences lay in the croons of your praise and degradation...he'll make sure to note that and test out his theory in the future <3

a/n: i loveeee the concept of any of the boys with a reader making audio porn/the idea of some of the boys making audio porn so lmk if u want to hear more ab other characters lolol!

[ashensgrotto]

The Sea's Sacrifice (Part 1)

Characters: AzulAshengrotto / Jade Leech / Floyd Leech x F!Reader

Total Word Count: 14.7k+

Part 1 (You are Here) Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Synopsis: A potential job as a marine biologist’s assistant leaves (Y/N) feeling something fishy going on behind the scene…

Author's Notes: Original Idea came from @merakiui 's annonymous ask with a short story / headcannon -> https://www.tumblr.com/merakiui/684490143936167936/ooohhh-i-love-those-writing-ideas-you-had-for-sea?source=share

and I absolutely love this concept and wanted to take it a step further. I don't write yandere nor fanfiction as much as I did a few years ago. However, I do hope I do this piece justice; I will had links to the next part once it is completed and ready for viewing.

Also, this is a work of fiction. I disagree anyone that justifies the following behaviors which are represented in this fic (if I think of more, I will add them as I go):

rape/non-consent/dub-consent, possessive/controlling/dominating behaviors, and manipulation

Cruel and cold like winds on the seas

Will you ever return to me

Hear my voice sing with the tide

My love will never die

Over waves and deep in the blue

I will give up my heart for you

***

If someone were to tell you that you’d eventually be pulled into the wrong end of the sea by, not one but three, unknown sea creatures - you’d probably laugh your head off, thinking they’ve lost their mind.

But how wrong you’d be.

When you had initially applied to work at Twisted Wonders - an emporium of oddities that were collected and studied by the greatest minds in existence - you thought you’d be taking an everyday desk job; answering phone calls, scheduling tours, directing visitors… that sort of thing. 

Never in your right mind would you believe that you would be working alongside the Dire Crowley - director and owner of Twisted Wonders. Mr. Crowley was an acclaimed renowned genius with an air that was both mysterious and alluring. He was approximately 170 cm in height (five feet, seven inches) and wore rich tailored clothing made of silks and leather with gold embroidery and jewels embedded into the vest and belt; of course, he upped his strange allure by consistently wearing a heavy leather overcoat that hung to his frame, decorated in black feathers - real or faux, no one was sure, a top hat that perched on his head, and a mask of black that reminded you of a crow - his arched nose hidden under the long rim of the mask that poked out like a beak. 

“Here’s the deal, (Y/N),” Mr. Crowley spoke, reclining back in his desk chair as a pair of golden eyes peered out from behind the mask, “We’ve recently acquired three creatures that need to be observed. My team, however, has been unsuccessful at getting remotely close to studying them. They seem to think that an outsider might have a higher success rate at being able to approach them more than any of us will due to their knowing who we are.”

“So, what is it exactly that you want me to do?”

“I want you to observe them,” Mr. Crowley spoke, pushing a contract towards you, “You will work with my group of scientists for about three months as well as the three creatures. You are to notate anything and everything you see the trio doing - how they eat, sleep, react with each other, and so forth - and document everything for our records, no matter how insignificant it is. If you prove your worth and competence within those three months, you will be moved to another position within the facility of your choosing.”

“And that’s it? That’s all I need to do?”

“That’s it.”

‘Seems pretty easy for a payment of twenty dollars an hour…’ you thought as you looked down at the contract before, “And this is my… compliance, right?”

“That would be correct, as well as a safety and confidentiality agreement,” Mr. Crowley answered, offering a pen in your direction.

You took the instrument and wrote your name across the bottom of the page on the dotted line.

“Alright,” Dire Crowley took the contract and stood, pressing a buzzer on his desk, “with everything in order, I’ll have Grimsley take you to meet Divus Crewel and Mozus Trein - the overseers of our aquatic project.”

“I’m sorry, did you say aquatic?” your eyes widened in surprise.

“Dear me, did I forget to mention that part?” Mr. Crowley tapped his chin, his glowing eyes looking up toward the ceiling before returning to rest on your features, “Our newest arrivals are of the oceanic nature - I’ve never met or seen them myself, however Professor Crewel and Professor Trein will be able to go over the basics with you and introduce you to the trio in question.”

“As long as they don’ forget the good stuff!” a snarky voice spoke from behind.

You turned in your chair toward the door to see the man who must’ve been Grimsley.

He was about 163 cm in height with pale skin and dark gray hair with tufts of flame blue poking out in random directions. His eyes also were flame blue and held mischief in their depths that matched the smirk on his face as a set of sharp teeth peered out from behind thin lips. He wore a suit of black with a vest that matched his hair, a black and white-striped tie, and a white dress shirt. Leather loafers padded softly against the carpeted flooring of Crowley's office as he held out a black leather gloved hand in greeting.

"Grimsley Overblot," the man smiled like a Cheshire cat, "I'm Mr. Crowley's henchman and errand runner here at Twisted Wonders."

"(Y/N) (L/N)," you answer, taking Grimsley's hand with a shake, "pleasure to meet you."

“Grimsley, go ahead and take (Y/N) to see the good professors,” Dire Crowley spoke, a satisfied smile on his features, “I’m sure the two are more than ecstatic to meet her.”

***

As it turns out, both men were ecstatic to meet you - though Professor Trein was a bit more reserved about it versus his partner.

Trein's appearance matched his personality - his posture indicated a "no nonsense" aura as did his unchanging features. His lips would quirk into a small smile before they would fall to a straight line as his dark eyes settled on your uneasy form, as if he enjoyed watching you squirm like a germ under the microscope. He was dressed as any scientist would; a heavy white lab coat that fell to his knees hung around his frame that covered a white dress shirt and charcoal-colored dress pants and loafers. His hair was gray with streaks of white and wrinkles covered every inch of his face and neck.  He also wore a set of white pristine gloves and had a cravat around his neck with a singular emerald gem that held the cloth together.

As for his partner, Professor Crewel was a bit more… eccentric. Crewel had a sort of energy about him that reminded you of a young dog - not a puppy, but not an adult either. He was always cocking a smile that bore teeth, chuckling when he patted the top of your head as he called you "puppy." His clothing matched his laidback ideals too - a heavy black and white fur coat with a red silk lining covered the charcoal gray dress shirt and pants. His vest was black on one side, white on the other, and wore a red tie that matched the gloves on his hands.

“So,” Crewel spoke after introductions, pulling a cigarette out of his pants pocket and lighting the object, “any questions before we get you set up?”

“I guess my big question is what exactly will I be working with?” you ask.

“We believe the trio to be mers, but they’re not your typical ones,” Trein explained with a sniff as his features twisted at the smell of Crewel’s smoke,  “All three of them have the upper bodies of men, but lower halfs of sea creatures. Two of the three half the lower half of what we believe to be that of a moray eel and the third the lower half of an octopus. The twins are typically more curious of the three, though they can be aggressive. Several of our closest colleagues were attacked by the duo after accidentally disturbing them - their bites have left scars and one of our colleagues actually lost their leg from their attack.”

“... and you don’t think I will?” you had to question, the comment coming out high-pitched.

“Well, moray eels - specifically - will attack only if they have been disturbed,” Crewel answered nonchalantly, “We believe there are similarities between the animals and the mers, which is why we are gathering as much information as we can. We want to know what the similarities and differences are between moray eels and the twins.”

“Okay, but I still don’t see how I won’t get attacked by those two. And what about the third?”

“You won’t be attacked as long as you stay still and don’t make any sudden movements,” Trein answered, “Once they get used to you, you’ll know.”

“As for the third,” Crewel answered, “he’s a cecaelia - half man, half octopus.”

You blink, “Don’t moray eels eat octopi?”

“Typically, yes,” Trein answered, “which is strange, in this case. The trio were originally found off the coast in the Coral Sea - living in harmony with each other. When we brought them here, the moray mers have consistently been surrounding the grotto that is in the enclosure - the cecaelia hiding within and rarely comes out. We think that the cecaelia may have raised the morays, but we’re not completely sure.”

“And it’s been a devil of a time trying to get a glimpse of him too,” Crewel shook his head, eyes rolling to the ceiling.

“You mean you haven’t seen him? Not once?”

“I saw him when he was first brought into the enclosure,” Trein sighed, “however, it was dark and I couldn’t see him very well - the eels could be seen because of the bioluminescence that exists within their bodies, allowing us to see their figures.”

“Speaking of which, come,” Crewel rested a hand to the small of your back, “let’s get you acquainted with our aquatic trio, hm?”

Crewel and Trein led you to the opposite end of their laboratory where a large glass wall stood with a set of double doors that led to what appeared to be the edge of a massive pool. Once inside, the smell of fish and humidity tickled your nose as the sound of lapping of water reverberated in the slightly dimmed room; the only light being illuminated from the pool itself. The gray walls stretched high, the ceiling covered by long triangular beams that permitted the echoes of voices and lapping water in the room. One the far left was a coat rack and a small freezer with a large fan blowing the heated air around the room.

“When you come in - which will be about six-thirty each morning, you’ll hang your coat on the rack and put your lunch in the freezer before feeding your charges,” Crewel explained, walking over to the freezer and lifting the lid, “We always restock the food the night before, so you don’t have to worry about not having anything in here for the day. There will be nine buckets total in the freezer - three for the morning, three for noon, three for dinner - so make sure you dump all three buckets in the water, but don’t toss the actual bucket into the water.”

“What’s in them?” you ask, wrinkling your nose at the mixture within the buckets.

“A collection of shellfish - shrimp, crab, clam, lobster - and assorted fish are what they primarily eat,” Crewel answered as he closed the lid to the freezer, “We’ve tried feeding the moray twins octopi - but they refuse to touch it and often threw it at the feeders when they came in. Also, feel free to wear something comfortable. The water temperature varies from 45℉ to as low as 39℉ so we have to offset that with the atmosphere in our enclosure here at approximately 77℉ to 85℉ - never mind that one of the twins likes to splash newcomers right off the bat.”

“So, shorts are ok?”

“Shorts would be preferred, so yes,” Crewel nodded.

“But not too short - lower thigh length to knee length is acceptable,” Trein chided, “you are also permitted to wear sandals within the enclosure as well as a t-shirt or tank top due to the humidity. However, if you do choose sandals and tank tops - please bring a spare pair of tennis shoes to wear on the way in and on the way out as closed toed and heels are required within the labs and main building as well as something to keep your shoulders covered; this is a place of employment, not enjoyment.”

When you nod, Trein continued.

“After you feed them their breakfast, take a seat and use the notebooks over here to document any findings,” Trein walks to the opposite end of the enclosure, opening a locker filled with office supplies, “Take whatever you think you might need for the day and have a seat at the edge of the pool and begin your observations. It might take a few days before one of the twins actually approaches you, but once they do, you should be able to start the observations with no problems. During your first few days, remember to stay still - morays attack when startled or provoked, which we don’t want to happen. You’ll let them come to you and, hopefully once you get acquainted, you’ll be able to do your observations with no trouble at all.”

“Alright.”

“Your shift will be twelve hours total,” Trein also explained, “you will be expected to eat lunch with the trio and feed them their supper before you leave for the night at six pm and place any of your notes back in the locker here for Crewel or I to collect at the end of the day. When you leave, make sure the door is locked. Typically, we will be here until eight, so we often check the door on our way out - but just so you are aware, the door does get stuck on occasion; you may need to knock on the door a few times and one of us or our staff will get you out.”

You nod again.

“Alright, are there any questions?” Crewel asked.

“No, I think I’ve got it.”

“Very well,” Trein smiles, “We’ll see you tomorrow at six sharp - no later.”

“Thank you very much for this opportunity,” you bow your head to both of them before shaking each of their offered hands as the two escorted you out of the enclosure - none of you aware of the two sets of heterochromia eyes that watched your figure from below the water’s surface.

***

One week passes slowly as you go through the motions as the Twisted Wonders aquatic observer. 

Every morning, you arrive at quarter to six and greet Crewel and Trein at their laboratory doors. After they unlock and head into their own offices, you make your way to the enclosure and place your bag on the coat rack and the brown paper bag that contains your lunch in the freezer before hauling out the three of the nine gallon-sized buckets one at a time and dump the contents into the water, watching a little bit to see if anything will appear to snatch up a meal as the fish disappear into the murky depths of the pool. After watching the last piece of morsel disappear into the depths, you turn toward the locker, grabbing notebooks, pens and anything else you think you need and take a seat at the edge of the pool. 

As the hours pass by, you jot notes down about anything you see - which is nothing.

7:30am: Ripples of water, no sign of the creatures

10:30am: Still no sign of the creatures

12:30pm: Fed mers, no sign of breaking the surface yet - maybe they know I am waiting for them and want nothing to do with me?

2:30pm: Still no sign

4:30pm: I heard a splash, but saw nothing. Maybe they’re nervous?

6:00pm: Fed the mers their supper - Hoping to get a sign of them before I leave today.

Day after day after day, the notes were the same: No sign. No sign. No sign.

By the end of the first week, you were beginning to wonder if you actually would ever see the creatures or if they even existed - or even, heaven forbid, if you were a test subject yourself for believing that there were mers that lived in the enclosure. 

When Saturday morning came, you trudged into the enclosure with a heavy sigh and slowly began to begin the day’s events. Everything you did now seemed slower as the hope of seeing something otherworldly began to diminish like smoke. You pulled the first bucket of food out of the freezer and brought it to the edge of the pool, dumping the contents in before standing to return the bucket to the side of the freezer when something slimy and light hit the back of your head. Your hand instinctively reached up and brushed the hair behind your head, feeling traces of water and slime. You looked down to see what hit you, finding the bottom half of an unidentifiable colored fish laying behind you. 

Your eyes shifted to look out into the pool - but no movement or any indication that something had thrown the half of the fish at you could be seen.

‘Maybe I’m just imagining things,’ you thought as a sigh escaped your lips, picking up the fish and dropping it into the second bucket before it was dumped over the edge of the pool as well.

As you turned your back to grab the last bucket, again something smacked against the back of your head, a clicking sound following shortly afterwards.

‘Ok,’ you thought, a slight smirk appearing on your features as you picked up the large hunk of lobster from the ground, ‘whoever or whatever you are, I’m assuming you want to play. Well, let’s play.’

You grab the last bucket and dump the contents into the water and kneel at the edge - watching like a cat watches a mouse before pouncing. A few moments pass before you feel your back begin to strain, forcing you to stand. As you do, a whole king prawn nearly smacks you in the face as another round of clicking echoes in the enclosure. You whip your face toward the pool, just in time to see two sets of eyes watching you.

Silence defends the enclosure as the three of you stare in silence at one another.

Your heart races as you realize that the creatures staring at you must be the twins.

You can’t see them completely - their entire bodies are hidden under the water while the tops of their heads and their eyes are the only thing being seen from your position at the edge of the pool as they regard you from a few meters away - but you can see that they are nearly mirrors of each other.

They both have skin the color of seaweed with short hair to match - a longer piece the color of deep sea teal arching in the front of their faces. Instead of human ears, they have fins - likely hiding the gills they use to breathe underwater behind them. The one on your left appears to be more cautious than their twin on the right - their eyes are sharp, their right colored brown and left colored gold, and watching every movement you make as if calculating whether to attack you or not. The one on your right appeared to have more of a droopy expression on their face, their lower eyelids dropping into a bored expression, but their gaze is still sharp. Like their twin, their eyes are different colors - the left colored brown and the right colored gold instead.

You swallow thickly, unsure of what to do exactly. 

Moray eels attack if provoked, you recalled Crewel saying, so you didn’t want to make any sudden movements in case they read it wrong and attempt anything. However, it seems that the decision is quickly made when the one on your right slowly approaches the edge of the pool. You stay as still as possible as they approach, their eyes locked on yours as if in a trance. 

When they reach the edge, you can see the length of his body in the murky depths. His skin is a darker seaweed teal with little stripe patterns on his cheekbones and arms - with likely more on his lower body hidden deeper in the depths. Large fins poke out from his lower arms, giving him and his brother the ability to glide through the water quickly. You couldn’t see his tail, but if you had to guess - you thought he could be approximately six feet in length or longer.

Then, salted sea water covers your entire body, causing you to sputter at the surprise at getting splashed as the moray mer peeled in laughter. His brother follows up with three sharp clicks before the duo disappear under the water, leaving you to wonder what in the world just happened.

[miscriont]

Okay I've thought about this as long as I can stand and--am I the only person who thought this was *awkward*?

I've been chewing on it, reading about other people's reactions, studying frame by frame the movements of Aziraphale's hands and like. I *see* it, I see how y'all get to the "brief moment of reciprocation" conclusion, but.

It is AWKWARD. It is one of the most awkward onscreen kisses I have ever seen.

Why is that??

The characters have chemistry. The narrative has established their relationship. The actors have chemistry; each of them has a proven track record of standout performances. And it's not as though either of them is new at this. So why, with all that on the table, does this look like amateur hour?

I got curious about it, and my hypothesis is this: they're reading from different playbooks.

"Saw it in a Richard Curtis film".

It feels like a throwaway line, something to wink-nudge a laugh out of the audience. There's a bit of confusion immediately afterwards regarding Jane Austen, Prolific Novelist and Jane Austen, Jewel Thief and Crime Lord, and isn't that funny haha look at the clueless celestial beings but almost NOTHING in this show has been just filler, or meaningless.

So who was Richard Curtis and why is he the model for Crowley's attempts at matchmaking? Turns out Richard Curtis directed some of the more iconic romcoms of the 90s and 2000s. I'm talking Notting Hill ("I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her", remember that one?); I'm talking Love Actually; I'm talking Bridget Jones Diary--which, funnily enough, is at the very least inspired by Pride & Prejudice. Sappy monologues and kissing in the rain is this guy's bread & butter.

Aziraphale, on the other hand, wants to try the Austen-esque approach of having balls. There were fairly rigid rules to courtship back in Austen's day. Rules that HAD to be followed, in the right order, or else face social ruin. Austen made her career out of poking fun at those even as her characters worked within them. Point is, you only get to kiss at the end, and one of you better be wearing a wedding dress.

I may be stating the obvious but I haven't seen anyone else talking about it so: one layer to Crowley's and Aziraphale's brainstorming session on how to get Nina and Maggie together is also their way of subtly indicating what they themselves find romantic, and would want someone else to do for them to demonstrate their interest. For Aziraphale it's dancing and atmospheric lighting and having everything just so and *conversations that clear up everything*. For Crowley it's tearful speeches and getting the chance to tell the truth while streetlights glitter through pouring rain, where the protagonists seem to be pulled into a showstopping kiss almost as of by magnetism alone. There's a formula to each of the kinds of romantic storytelling that inspires their different matchmaking styles.

For Aziraphale, The Kiss (because you know this bitch(affectionate) would use the Capital Letters for Emphasis And/Or Significance) skips several steps in the courtship dance he thinks they've been doing. From Crowley's Perspective, Aziraphale is three acts, two scenes behind from where *he* thinks they are. Their kiss looks awkward because they are desynchronized, out of step with each other.

In other words, and in many more ways than just the one, they are not on the same page.

But you know who these two numpties have in common?

William Fucking Shakespeare. My outlandishly speculative prediction for season 3 is their reconciliation will have something to do with Shakespeare's comedic works. The perfect turnabout would be modeling it on Much Ado, with Nina and Maggie playing the bits of Hero and Claudio in fabricating evidence to get them back together: Crowley and Aziraphale messed about with their lives, it's only fair they should get to dish it out.

[twisted-wonderland-shenanigans]

Okay so. All of these questions are for the Kaiju Au.

Is the MC able to understand the kaiju or vice versa?

Why some of the categories in a few characters marked as unknown?

Do the kaiju have any human resemblance or are just 100% monstrous?

How does the MC gets close to the whole cast without being eaten?! I know they have the serum were they smell like a hatchling, but some species of animals don’t care about that and still eat or kill their newborns.

What was their first encounter with the Hearts gang and who was the first?

My, my, my! So many good questions~! OvO Let’s see if we can answer these!

First: at the moment, the MC/reader cannot understand what the Kaiju are saying save for the few who managed to mimic certain words (which is very few, and even then, they rarely use the words in the first place). Similarly, the Kaiju cannot understand the MC’s words. They do, however, recognize body language, facial expressions, and even tones of voice.

According to the researchers, there had been some speculation on whether or not it’s possible to teach them to speak, with certain Kaiju appearing to be skilled mimics (aka Ace, Jamil, Rook, Lilia, and Crowley). Unfortunately, due to funding and resources being limited, people had to be rearranged to different projects and left a virtual skeletal crew of one to try and continue this. So, it never really progressed beyond the few recordings of the researchers testing the Kaiju’s responses to specific words.

To answer your question about those with unknown categories, I based that mostly on the fact that we know very little to nothing of the magical skill of the characters in game (aka the staff for example). By extension, this means that they are the most reclusive and confusing of the Kaiju that the researchers have been studying, to the point that they don’t even know what category to put them under in the first place. Compared to the others who have been recorded fighting one another, there are those who either have not shown what their abilities are or haven’t had to demonstrate it.

For example, the other Kaiju will stop fighting if say Crowley or Crewel were to intervene, though it’s been noted to resemble a scolding before the two groups are separated. For those like Malleus and Lilia though, it’s because one has only partially been studied due to his reclusive nature (Malleus) while the other rarely seems interested in participating in any fighting and seems more inclined to watch (Lilia) and only intervening if it gets dangerously close to turning deadly.

When it comes to the Kaiju’s designs appearance-wise, for the most part their faces are more beastly than human (Crowley being an example given his head is more crow/raven than humanoid), but there are quite a few who have some semblance of their human faces! I’ve gotta sit down and do some sketches, but it can be a bit of a mix where they have either completely beastly faces (in which case it would be easy to tell who is who, like Crowley, Crewel, Malleus, and Jack for example), or they’ll have humanoid faces that look close to how they appear in game with some monster features (like off the top of my head: Cater and Riddle!). To put it simply, there’s about a 75-80% chance that the majority of them will bear little physical resemblance to their humanoid selves in game, while the remaining percentage will have humanoid traits.

As I mentioned before in another post, the serum won’t last forever and will likely wear off eventually. By that time, however, this will have given Yuu/MC/the Reader enough time for Grim, Crowley/Nevermore, and Crewel/Crewelfang to adopt them into the pack. Of course, Crowley, being the caretaker he is, would likely be the one who pretty much adopted the MC and, on occasion, near constantly gets assistance from Crewel to make sure they’re taken care of. This, in effect, means that the MC has not one, but two giant Kaiju in their corner to stare down/scold any of the other Kaiju packs thinking of hurting or eating the tiny human. Granted, this doesn’t guarantee that there aren’t some who’ll try and push their luck (like Floyd), but if anything, they at least have a better chance of getting close to a Kaiju without getting eaten!

The moment MC finds their weak spots for scritchies like they did Grim, though? Hoo boy, some of these Kaiju are going to demand more! Such a dilemma when MC is so small, so their hands and arms are going to be very tired before long. Grim is by far the easiest to pet, though! 🤣

As for the first encounter with Heartslabyul and who was the first one they met…well, technically, their first encounter was in the second chapter in the valley. But their official encounter with any of the Heartslabyul gang happens a few days after the valley incident when Yuu and Grim try to sneak away from the den while their “guardians” are either away or asleep, and it just so happens to be Ace/Slyfang that comes across them first and takes them to the Heartlands territory!

You can imagine the sheer amount of scolding that he got from both Riddle/Ragebloom and Crowley/Nevermore and Crewel/Crewelfang gave him afterwards. 😅 But in a way it worked out in Yuu’s favor as this led to more curiosity from the other Kaiju, so they wound up getting new visitors wanting to see them (and this is how they discovered that Cater’s/Flashwing’s moth and feather fluff is much softer than Crowley’s feathers…they temporarily got lost in the floof several times before the others realized that Yuu was fond of Cater’s coat and let them just enjoy nap time).

Honestly, the sheer amount of chaotic shenanigans as Yuu tries to befriend these giant creatures is going to be hilarious and absolutely terrifying! But hey, at least they’ll have a whole army of Kaiju to carry them around the island and protect them from the smaller scavenger creatures. Yuu is literally that one picture of a mama doggo curled up around a single pup: the safest human in the world~!

[goodomensjail]

Now that my Sup Special Awesome Lucifer Conspiracy has been THOROUGHLY smashed by Mr Neil Himself I am just popping into the meta with this one thought:

IF Crowley’s Angel name is given now, it HAS to be instantly recognizable by the general public or the moment will be a weird anticlimactic beat.

Maybe Neil will be subversive and write the scene for us little Tumblr Gremlins who analyze each frame of the show and study Codexes of Demonology for hints about character traits, but I cannot imagine the name means anything to the general population.

Imagine the scene in your mind, the music swells, Aziraphale has ordered a record of the fall, maybe it’s a trial, it’s recorded like the Gabriel trial and Metatron in all his douchey glory booms “We banish you, Supreme Archangel, to the pit. May you never be forgiven…*music is swelling DUN DUN DUN* KOKOBIEL!” Aaaaaaaand crickets. There’s no shock or revelation for 99.999% of the viewing audience.

Unless revealing/confirming his previous rank is the thing that lands harder with Aziraphale and the audience so the name is just kinda a cool secondary tidbit in the scene, so we would flip Kokobiel (or whatever other Angel name, maybe Raziel) and “Supreme Archangel” and maybe that’s the shocker? [basing the assumption he once was Gabriel’s position on the foreshadowing shot cutting to his face on the line “only supreme archangel in the universe”]

In terms of a name the audience will recognize instantly as a cultural short cut for “powerful Angel” …. Maybe the lady doth protest too much and it is Raphael??? Though I do feel Aziraphale (“of Raphael” or “Raphael’s helper”) seems suuuuuuuper on the nose and is my number one reason against it {even more so than Neil’s denials}.

And so I’m left instead now, as a previous captain of the Lucifer Theory army, with kinda hoping we just never get his name. The only reason i still think we may is the foreshadowing shot in the magic shop when the camera cuts to Crowley as Azirpahale says “he signed it with his real name” which seems like a thing that in no way has to be in the script otherwise.

But maybe none of the above is foreshadowing. Maybe he is still a nobody and those shots meant nothing.

In the end, I’ve decided I don’t really want the fandom to ever call Crowley by a different name so I would rather never get another one.

Crowley was originally the angel Kokabiel and here's why:

Just looking at this definition of Kokabiel, we know two things: 1.) that they were the angel in charge of the stars, and 2.) the ended up falling. This screams Crowley, as in the first episode of season two we are shown Crowley in his angel form literally creating the stars. He also has a map of the stars in his hand, including all the constellations.

When the galaxy comes alive, Crowley is ecstatic! But when Aziraphale asks if he had done it all himself, he says "Ah, well, I mean, more or less. I wasn't... I wasn't, um... I wasn't the original concept designer, but I worked very closely with the upstairs on it," The "upstairs" in question being God.

Continuing on this theory, Crowley then explains that what he's created is a "star factory" and then launches into teaching Aziraphale about the creation of stars and constellations--much like Kokabeil was known for.

Once Crowley is let on that the "upstairs" is going to shut everything down in about 6,000 years, Crowley is mostly upset that his stars would die. He doesn't know earth by it's name, as he would most likely never have concerned himself with anything other than stars, and when he's told that his stars are only there for humans to just look at, he gets upset and ultimately starts questioning God--a slippery slope after all, because how much trouble can you get in for asking a few questions?

Well, a lot, apparently. Crowley becomes a fallen angel, like Kokabiel, and as we see towards the finale, he still has enough power to open up Gabriel's classified documents--something only a very powerful angel could do. This would align with Crowley being Kokabiel, since Kokabiel was the angel behind creating the universe and all it's stary components.

Not to mention that Crowley has dropped hints about his true name throughout the show, constantly bringing up that they could runaway together to somewhere in the universe both heaven and hell can't find them, or to alpha centuari--a star system in the universe. This hints that Crowley knows places in the universe that others do not (since he created it), and his desire to run away into the stars is just setting up reveal it is because they are of his own creation as an angel.

[yuurei20]

(Voted 2nd-most-popular-character on the jpn server in a combination of seven different character-ranking surveys held throughout 2021)

Riddle prioritizes rules and regulations above all else. While he can become explosively angry when provoked, no one has been expelled from Heartslabyul Dorm since Riddle became its housewarden and he is normally calm and reserved.

He is at the top of his class, constantly earning perfect marks with the exception of physical fitness tests, where he scores below average (according to Riddle, “A true mage simply excels in magic over fitness”). He is also the best flyer of the 2nd year students, according to Jamil, but in a home-screen line Riddle recommends that the player go to Cater with any flying-related questions they may have.

He legitimately enjoys studying, always looking pleased when Crowley appears for Special Lessons. Despite his impatience with Lucius’ noises during class, Trein is his favorite professor.

Riddle’s love of information does not end at serious subjects such as history and practical magic, but also extends to anything with which he is unfamiliar, such as when he became mildly jealous of Cater’s effortless knowledge of popular trends and vowed to look up trendy smartphone cases.

He holds the record for second-fastest seizing of the housewarden position, defeating the previous (and much more laid-back) housewarden of Heartslabyul within a week of enrolling at the school in his first year. (It is not specified whom it is that holds the record for the fastest promotion, or whom it was that he defeated for the title, although there are many fan-theories).

Riddle feels very strongly about being “correct”, to the point of following rules to the detriment of common sense (i.e. adding oyster sauce to a tart because Trey had added it to the recipe as a joke). In Book 1 we learn that this is because, due to his upbringing, “rules made him who he is” and “to deny the rules would be to deny who he is as a person”.

He is not a good cook as he obsesses over adding the “correct” amount of ingredients to his dishes.

In a vignette where he attempts to make soup for a sick Trey, Trey eats it out of obligation, but with much difficulty. We learn from Trey that Riddle simply does not have a discerning palate and does not care much for whether something tastes good or bad, rating food based on his own, personal expectations (during Master Chef events where he is a judge, he will not touch any dish that he scores under three points).

There are often times when he is gentle, such as when caring for the dorm’s hedgehogs and his beloved Equestrian Club horse, Vorpal.

Riddle compliments others most sincerely when they succeed at something they have been striving towards. After the events of Book 1 he has been working hard to be less judgmental and lower his expectations for those around him, but it is a constant struggle.

He has memorized all 810 of the Queen of Hearts’ laws and believes that everyone should be more than capable of memorizing at least 100, as a matter of common sense.

When asked in a birthday vignette how he spends his free time, Riddle insists that students should have no free time outside of studying and extracurricular activities, but then admits that it’s possible that his caring for the doom’s hedgehogs might not fall into either of those two categories. It seems that caring for the hedgehogs is supposed to be a task that is rotated throughout the dorm, but he is always following up, just in case someone else forgets.

Floyd refers to him as “Kingyo-chan” (goldfish), because--in Floyd's own words--"Small and red--that's what a goldfish is", while Rook calls him Roi du Rose (King of Roses). (“Rose du Roi” is actually the name of a real rose, described as being “magenta-crimson” in color).

Growing up, his mother controlled every aspect of his every-day-life from the clothes he wore and food he ate (forcing him to memorize and recite the caloric intake of his meals) to the friends that he was allowed to make. At her insistence, Riddle has also been trained in dancing (ref: Halloween). He tried fast food for the first time at the age of 17.

In the novel we learn, when he was very young, Riddle’s mother would regularly leave the house for one hour a day to complete an unspecified task. This hour was the only unsupervised time he ever had, and was meant to be for self-study. Instead, for “two or three months”, Riddle sneaks out of his bedroom through a window to play with Trey and Chenya, who were the first friends he ever made in his life (after they knock on his window to get his attention and invite him out).

Upon discovering this, his mother permanently bars the window and forbids her son from ever seeing them again, despite his pleas and promises.

In both the game and the manga, his mother goes to Trey's house and ":...with 10 times more force than Riddle himself, lectured my entire family for five hours straight”.

This was changed on ENG-server to Trey saying that he “got lectured by (his) whole family for five hours straight”.

Riddle is tormented by the thought of never again seeing Trey and Chenya, and by the fear that they have forgotten him and no longer care. Trey and Riddle are then reunited upon his enrollment at Night Raven College, with Chenya attending Royal Sword Academy.

His special talent of crossword puzzles came from such puzzles being included in the back of the textbooks that his mother purchased for him every month. Every other form of entertainment was forbidden in his household growing up.

He has a collection of 3,000 crosswords that he made himself as a child, saying that, when he was younger, he “had hoped to give them to Trey and Chenya one day…”

Riddle’s athletic clothes are slightly oversized, as they were purchased with the belief that he would grow into them. While excelling at horseback-riding and flying lessons, he is not in the least muscular and is sensitive about his physical size. He insists that he has high expectations for a growth spurt in the next year.

His goal for the future is to become a magic-using physician, just like both of his parents: a particularly demanding profession in the Twisted Wonderland universe. This is the career he has been trained for from a very young age, but since enrolling at Night Raven College he has become increasingly interested in law, and is often reading books on judicial administrations.

We know very little about Riddle’s father (aside from his being a magic-using physician), but in a home screen line for Riddle’s Phantom Bride card, he says that he wishes that the Queen of Hearts would share the secret of a happy marriage with his parents. 

Riddle learned his unique magic, “Off with your head”, at the age of ten. It is a powerful ability that renders its victim incapable of using their own magic. It has its limitations, however: if the person has a superior defensive magic that does not offer him an opening, it can be repulsed (as Leona does in Book 2). It can also be thrown off if the person’s magic is stronger than that of Riddle himself (i.e. Leona).

Translation: "The desk on the left has a large bookcase filled with books. The nightstand next to the bed and the stool at the foot of the bed are also stacked with books, showing Riddle's studious nature. The headboard of the bed is decorated with red hearts, and the low table has a red rose. Wanting Cater to get a high score on his next exam, Riddle comes up with a study method using magicam and diligently uploads tagged photos throughout the night."

It would appear that Riddle has speech patterns that may have been inspired by the Queen of Hearts in the Japanese-language dub of Disney’s Alice in Wonderland, but I can neither confirm nor deny as I have never seen the dub. This is true of the English-language version, however, which includes lines from the original movie such as "Open your mouth a little wider when you speak".

In the official guidebook, we learn from the game’s creator Toboso Yana that her original concept for Riddle Rosehearts was the exact opposite of what the character became. He was originally a spoiled child that hated studying and would break promises and rules without care, but his magic was so strong that he could not be denied. Unsatisfied with this interpretation of the character, she rewrote his personality completely, but there still exist rough drafts of Riddle character designs from that stage of development.

Riddle’s current styling of his uniform is a holdover from the character he was in the game’s earlier stages. 

We learn from Vil that NRC house wardens are permitted the freedom to arrange their dorm uniforms as they like. Riddle does not wear high-heels in order to look taller (though he is very much aware that people will assume that of him), and previous house wardens of Heartslabyul have generally worn sneakers, much like the rest of the dorm’s students.

But, Riddle explains, as the Queen of Hearts herself worn them, so will he. In the Halloween event we learn that Riddle’s dorm uniform was based upon that of the first-ever housewarden of Heartslabyul, including the high heeled shoes, in order to serve as an example of the importance of following tradition.

Soon after ascending to the position of Housewarden, Riddle received tips from Vil on how to grow accustomed to walking in them. He says he has come to like the shoes particularly for the sound they make when he walks, as other students will suddenly straighten up when they hear him coming. In a homescreen line, however, he says he doesn’t wear them because he wants to.

A video of Riddle and Vil having this conversation as they share a dance at a Halloween party

Some great artists for Riddle fan-art and more (SFW, no story spoilers) Black Butler / Heartslabyul Crossover

Dorm Uniform Design Breakdown (feat. Deuce)

Just Riddle

From the novel: saw this on Twitter and loved it

Voice Riddle is voiced by Hanae Natsuki (花江 夏樹), whose other work includes Tanjiro Kamado from Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba, Shinkawa Kyouji / Spiegel from Sword Art Online II, Lavi from D Gray man HALLOW, Kokounoi Hajime from Tokyo Revengers, Gremmy Thoumeaux from BLEACH and Kaneki Ken from Tokyo Ghoul.

More seiyuu information available here

A translation of an interview with Hanae Natsuki can be found here

Additional Fact Sheets ・Riddle Rosehearts ・Trey Clover・Cater Diamond ・Ace Trappola・Deuce Spade ・Leona Kingscholar ・Ruggie Bucchi ・Jack Howl ・Azul Ashengrotto・Floyd Leech・Jade Leech ・Kalim Al-Asim・Jamil Viper ・Vil Schoenheit・Rook Hunt ・Epel Felmier ・Idia Shroud・Ortho Shroud ・Malleus Draconia ・Silver・Sebek Zigvolt・Lilia Vanrouge ・Sam・Crewel・Trein・Vargas・Crowley

[traumxrei-archive]

【 prologue: a servant of one..? 】

author's note: welcome to the prologue of this little series that i'll be slowly working on ! it's got banter, it's got my favorite tropes, aND it's got leona kingscholar ? my kind of fic to write. purely self indulgent bc i love to think about leona shirking going home to sunset savanna and just staying with yuu at nrc. so yeah.

word count: 3.5k (the prologue's smol)

tags: crowley-typical tasks (yes, the impossible kind), slight yuu character study, savanaclaw shenanigans, leona takes a page out of octo-punk's book, when you (yuu) get frustrated bc someone (leona) is so handsome, yuu regrets (almost) everything. (very minor book 4 spoilers that you won't notice unless you've played it)

[ baby it's cold outside! series | read it on ao3 ]

The students around NRC were buzzing with excitement for winter break. There were many impatient stares being aimed toward the Dark Mirror; the very thing that would be taking them all home the next day. And it was understandable. Not having classes and seeing your family again after a bunch of months was probably a great feeling. One that...Yuu wasn't able to have.

It's not like they aren't grateful for Crowley, but his efforts haven't gotten them anywhere just yet. If anything his little tasks had gotten them caught in the middle of overblot incidents with three of the seven dorms in NRC, which, in hindsight, wasn’t a great track record to have.

That, coupled with the fact that their memories with their friends and family were...somehow blurry and unclear, made them feel that much worse about it all. It was a thing they hadn't talked about with anyone yet. That though most of their memories were crystal clear, Yuu couldn't remember anything about the personal connections they held with the others in their world. Whether they had siblings, or if they had parents at all... It just made them that much more curious about their homeworld and made them feel that much more alone.

If there was one thing that Yuu was glad that didn’t change was that Crowley once again appeared uninvited whilst they were on a short walk with Grim, scaring the crap out of them both. Crowley's appearances were always a hit or miss for Yuu. Either they were here for some good news or none at all. And from the shit-eating grin on Crowley's face, Yuu wasn't feeling too good about it.

"Prefect, Grim-kun," Crowley said solemnly. "With our exams finished, winter break season is upon us. You will be staying at the College, correct?"

"It's not like I have anywhere to go," Yuu said, glancing over at Grim. "You?"

"The Great Grim will stay here to accompany you, henchman," Grim puffed out his chest. "I don't want you to be lonely, y’know." Whether or not Grim meant it sincerely or he had nowhere to go, it still made Yuu feel that much warmer.

"Then would you like to take on some tasks in the meanwhile?" Crowley spread his hands. "I'm willing to give you extra credit, for I am gracious!"

Yuu raised a hand, "I'm not failing though. Grim is."

"F-funyah, you don't have to say it out loud..."

Crowley blinked, "But, Yuu-kun. Grim is also your responsibility. You are both enrolled as one student, so if one is failing so is the other."

"If you wanted me to do you a favor, then just ask like a normal person," Yuu sighed. “No need to do all this roundabout threatening.”

They were all too used to Crowley's ways. More often than not he never meant any of his so-called threats. It was just his own weird way of justifying the favors he needed. Plus, in the end, Yuu would always receive something in return. They just didn’t know what yet.

"Ahem, then I shall not stall," Crowley cleared his throat. "For as long as I can remember, fairy-like creatures have controlled the fire that keeps our school warm. However, the ghost that usually does this task will be out for the winter, so you guys shall take on the mantle of this oh-so-important task. For if you do not, then our school will grow cold and the fairies will leave.”

"Grrr…” Grim grumbled. “The Great Grim once again doing tasks for other lowly humans and ghosts.”

Crowley pulled out a stack of papers, "And the second task–"

"You're giving us winter homework?" Yuu asked incredulously, snatching the papers from Crowley’s hands. Grim watched over their shoulder as they fingered through the many sheaves of paper. There were five whole packets of magic history questions, each on a different period of history. Not to mention all the formula practice and the potion recipes for applied alchemy.

"This is why you should listen to people's explanations all the way through first," Crowley placed a hand on Yuu's shoulder. "You are familiar with Kingscholar-kun right?"

Oh no. Yuu did not like where this was going.

And Crowley seemed to notice, quickly explaining before they could get out a protest, "You and Grim need to have him complete eighty percent of this homework. The least can be lowered to sixty if he's being really stubborn since we are compassionate educators."

"What makes you think I can make him do his homework?" Yuu tapped at the papers impatiently. "He's stubborn. He wouldn't suddenly start doing homework just because I was asking him to."

"Well, quite frankly you are our only hope, dear beast tamer," Crowley sighed dramatically and here we go, Crowley had started acting. Yuu knew they were in for a show. "Kingscholar-kun is a brilliant mage, with magic powerful enough that, if trained, he could become one of the best mages in Twisted Wonderland.

"Despite his aptitude, he doesn't attend any of his classes," Crowley pulled a frown that almost looked genuinely dismayed if Yuu didn’t know any better. "And that just won't do, no matter how well he does on his exams. This winter work is the compromise that the teachers and I have landed on upon lots of deliberation. I decided to give him a way out of those absences, for I am benevolent, am I not?"

Yuu just sighed, "And if I don't get him to do the sixty percent?"

"Hmm... Then we'll take away the heating and cooling funds from Ramshackle?" Crowley said innocently. As if they wouldn't freeze to death with how windy and snowy Sage Island was getting. And Yuu didn't even want to think about the summer. At this point, Crowley’s threats seemed almost empty, though Yuu wasn’t taking any chances.

"F-funyah, our lives are in your hands, y’know," Grim's paw patted at their leg.

"Great. I'll get to work right away since break starts tomorrow," Yuu snatched up the papers. "Anything else, benevolent headmage?"

"That is all," Crowley looked pleased with himself. "I look forward to the results of your progress. Oh, and I'll make sure to bring you back a souvenir for your hard work." Yuu waved a hand at him as he disappeared into thin air. That stupid, stupid bird and his almost-impossible tasks...

"I'm going to go to Savanaclaw and talk to Leona," Yuu felt drained already as they stroked at Grim's ears. "You go scope out where they keep the wood for the fireplace, okay?"

Grim didn't look all too happy at that, "Will you be alright with that...that lazy lion? What if he tries to kill you again?"

"Well... If I don't return then call Jack...?" Yuu shrugged. "The worst that can happen is I lose a limb."

"T-that's not something you should be saying casually, y’know..." And with that final vote of confidence, they set off to Savanaclaw. It was as hot as ever there, with no trace of the thick snowfall happening back at the main campus.

"Yuu!" The voice made them turn. It was Jack, jogging up to them from the spelldrive stadium. "What are you doing here?"

They waved the stack of papers they had in their hands, "Special delivery for one Leona Kingscholar from the Headmage."

"What the- Is that all winter homework?" Jack's ears twitched slightly. "That's a lot."

"It's make-up work for all the classes he skipped," Yuu glanced up curiously at the wolf. "Are you going home for the break?"

"Yeah," Jack's tail started swishing behind him. "I'm gonna go hit the slopes. It's been a while so I'm excited. What about you? Not that I'm interested in what you're doing during the break, but-"

"Yeah, yeah," Yuu was all but used to Jack's push and pull personality by now, and they found it quite amusing at times. "I'll be staying here. Crowley's got nothing yet, so it's not like I can go home."

"Hmm," Jack's expression turned contemplative. "If you tell me in advance next time, maybe my parents wouldn't mind having another person over. I could even teach you how to snowboard. It's not all that difficult." With the sparkle in the tall beastman's eyes and the little wag his tail was doing, Yuu felt something giddy in their chest.

Yuu smiled, genuine and soft, "Thanks for the offer, Jack. I'll take you up on it next time. I think they're waiting for you so..." They didn’t miss the way Jack's tail wagged harder before he turned around.

"See you next year, Yuu," Jack said, jogging back to the field. No doubt he was squeezing in a few more Spelldrive skirmishes before the day was over. Tomorrow they would be leaving for the mirror at around noon after all.

So Yuu continued their trek up to Leona's room. But no trip to Savanaclaw was complete without running into a certain hyena. Ruggie's face lit up as he saw them, slipping past the other students to get closer.

"Hey, hey, what brings the illustrious Yuu-kun over to these parts?" Ruggie's grin was sly as he made a show of looking around. "Are ya lookin' for someone? You got some food for a poor, hungry hyena?"

"Well, senpai-" A few students interrupted their talking, squeezing them against Ruggie. And Ruggie's hand barely brushed their side, but Yuu knew that he had already taken something. It was typical Ruggie behavior to take anything in their pockets anytime they met. He would always give it back, but Yuu learned to not place anything important there anytime the hyena was around. Just in case he was feeling particularly teasing and kept it from them too long.

"Woah! Is this that limited edition donut snack?" Ruggie's eyes glinted with hunger. "I thought Sam's was sold out of these."

"I got a bunch for Grim before they sold out and pocketed one just in case," Yuu shrugged. "I'm sure he won't mind one missing."

"Sounds like you’re after my own heart, shishishi~ Are you tryna date me, Prefect?" Ruggie tore open the snack to take a big bite. "Cuz I'd say yes. ‘Specially if you'd give me more snacks."

"Sorry, I'm too busy to be your sugar parent," Yuu ruffled his ears a little, ducking out of the way when Ruggie tried to nip their hand. "And too broke. Talk to you later, Ruggie."

"Leona-san's in his room by the way," The hyena called out. And huh, did Yuu ever tell him what they were here for? It really did surprise them whenever Ruggie became just a little too observant.

Making their way to the biggest and most luxurious room in all of Savanaclaw wasn't that difficult. The room's location was practically ingrained into their mind, especially after all the Azul business when they had shared a room with the lion for three days.

They opened the door as loud as they could, watching the lump by the name of Leona on the bed, who, unsurprisingly, didn't budge. Yuu sighed, placing the papers down before drawing the blinds, "Leo~na. Wake up already, I gotta tell you something important."

"Hmrph, five more minutes, Ruggie," The Housewarden mumbled right into his pillow. Oh, Yuu was not getting paid enough— or at all— for this…

They padded over, sitting on the bed, "Do I look like Ruggie to you?" Yuu reached a hand towards the sleeping lion, praying that he won't bite off their arm right away. Was this a bad idea? Maybe, but they needed him up, and they needed it to happen now. So they inched their hand closer and...oh so carefully stroked at one of his ears.

The reaction was instantaneous. Their hand was grabbed and they found themself with a mouthful of Leona's pillow in a blink of an eye. The lion was growling as he pinned them down from above. It was actually…getting kind of hard to breathe. But at least their arm was intact..? That was a plus.

"What the fuck are you doing in my room, herbivore?" His voice was hoarse with sleep but he sounded angry just the same.

Yuu tilted their head as best they could to the table, "Special delivery for Kingscholar-kun. With love from all our professors. I've been tasked to see to it that you actually do it."

The grip on their arm loosened a minuscule, "What's in it for you?"

"Not getting the heating or cooling bill rescinded by Crowley?" Leona's grumbling was too low for them to catch, but they swore they heard the words "stupid crow" and "ugh, extra work" before he finally let them go.

They breathed a sigh of relief, turning around only to be met with a head butt to the chin, "Oof- Uh, Leona...?"

"You disturbed my nap," Leona mumbled, face pressed against their shoulder. "You owe me sleep. So shut up and maybe I'll do that work." And Yuu just nodded, praying that they would be able to wake him next time. (It definitely wasn't because they could feel the stress melting off their shoulders just lying down in Leona's ultra soft and ultra warm bed, nope, definitely not.)

After making sure the lion was fully asleep, they ran a hand through his hair, gently detangling it. It wouldn't be any good if they fell asleep, so they put themself to work. And also it was…really nice how Leona’s throat rumbled a bit at the light petting. It wasn’t anything close to purring, but it still felt just as satisfying.

There was a stretch of silence before the door opened. Ruggie waltzed in before laughing at the sight of them, "Whatcha doing, Prefect? Hair grooming duty?"

"Senpai, could you...get me something to eat?" Yuu watched as he went over to filch Leona's wallet. The lion must let it happen on purpose now, leaving his wallet in the open like that. "I think I'm gonna be here all day at this rate."

"Cuz you're such a good kouhai that gave me that super tasty 'n super rare donut, Imma get you something," A sly look crossed the hyena's face. "Leona-san's treat, of course~"

Ruggie didn't take long to return with two sandwiches, a deluxe one for the prince and a normal kind for them. The Prefect noted that Ruggie returned the wallet to where it was at with precision before dancing out of the room with a bag of snacks in hand.

Okay so, the sun was almost set now. It had been more than thirty minutes, right? So they tried shaking Leona awake as best they could. And after shaking till their arms were aching, Leona finally stirred.

He pressed his face against their neck before he spoke, "What're you here to do again?"

Yuu, half-anxious he would bite their neck, tilted their head away from the lion, "I'm here to get you to do that makeup work. If you do all that, they'll forgive you for skipping class, so...just two hours a day?"

Leona snorted, before finally pulling away, "Why would I waste two hours that I could sleep away?"

"Please?" They tried. But by the expression on Leona's irritatingly handsome face a simple "please" wasn't going to sway him.

"Not a chance, herbivore," Leona smirked arrogantly, head propped up by a hand. "You gotta offer me something in return."

Something Leona wanted? That wasn't something they ever thought about. And yet they couldn't think about anything in their power that Leona would even want. His heavy stare wasn't really helping them with figuring all this out.

Wait. But...oh... That sounded like a horrible, terrible idea. But it would at least save them from freezing their butt off or getting a heat stroke if Crowley really went through with his threats.

"How about this?" They try to sit up, only to be tugged down by Leona. "Okay, okay, just listen."

"Hurry it up before I fall asleep." He yawned right after as if to emphasize his point. This insufferable bastard.

"You do work two hours a day. We can split it up, thirty minutes with naps and breaks in between," And Yuu took a breath. "And if you do that, you...get to have me as your servant for the rest of winter break.

Leona's ears twitched, "Why would I want that? I have Ruggie."

"Not an errand boy, a servant," Yuu huffed. "And besides, Ruggie's going home for the winter. You won't have to pay me. Whatever you say goes, since I'll be your faithful servant." Okay, Yuu was already regretting that “faithful” part, seeing the amusement in Leona's emerald eyes and the way his tail was whipping up a storm in interest.

"You mean I get to order you around for the rest of the holidays if I do some measly work?" Leona barked out a laugh. "Even that octo-punk would know what a deal this is.”

"Don’t make me regret this," Yuu sighed, a headache already forming. "It’s only for the break, alright?”

Leona grinned, though it was more a predator baring its teeth than a smile, "It's a pleasure having a new servant. No backing out now, herbivore."

And Great Seven, what did Yuu walk into?

There was something in Leona's eyes that told them it wouldn't be as simple as waiting on Leona hand-and-foot. There was something else. But Yuu couldn't exactly figure it out. Not when Leona was already settling down to do one of the many packets that Trein had so carefully put together with the smuggest expression still on his face.

"I'll do one paper today as advance payment," Leona’s piercing eyes gazed at them before his lips quirked. "Don't bother thinking I'll do the rest if I'm not satisfied with your service."

Yuu sat up immediately, "I shall do everything you ask, Leona-sama."

Leona's tail stopped moving, "That's creepy... Stop it."

"So you don't like Leona-sama? Then what about your highness."

He growled, "Don’t say that ever again."

"Uh, then. Mas...ter?" Yuu made eye contact with him before awkwardly looking away and coughing. "...Never mind, I'll just stick with Leona."

"You better, or else I'll turn this to dust right now," The beastman grouched, spinning a pencil in his hand.

With that cheerful comment, they watched Leona do his work whilst sitting on his bed. Occasionally Leona would flick his tail at them for staring too hard. They couldn't help it. Leona made a handsome figure when he was focused, something they rarely saw outside of during his Spelldrive matches. It was harder not to stare. But it didn’t take long for Leona to finish doing one of the dense packets that Trein had put together, which, again, had Yuu feeling envious. Times like this really showed how smart he really was when he tried.

"Oi herbivore," Leona called as they were leaving. "I want you here bright and early at six. Don't slack off on your first day."

"Yeah, yeah," Yuu waved him off. "Just make sure you're awake to actually greet me."

[ omake : a devious lion's plans ]

As soon as the herbivore left, Leona pulled out his phone. Although he hated calling people, he pressed on the dreaded number anyway. "Yeah, it's me," Leona sighed deeply.

“Leona! I take it you’ll be coming home?” He winced at the sheer volume of Falena’s voice. “Or have you accepted my offer?” The offer was that Cheka would stay at NRC instead of him coming back home for the winter. With the herbivore’s deal, it was easy to see which side he would take.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll take the brat,” He swore he heard his brother cheering over the line. “But only for a week. One week, no more than that.”

“No more than that,” He promised. “Oh, Cheka’s going to be so excite-”

“That means we're good right?” Leona interrupted, his ears already getting irritated from listening to Falena’s voice.

“More than good! I’m glad you’re doing this, we really appreciate it.”

And Leona wasn't exactly sure how to reply to that.

“Make sure he comes tomorrow at six,” the words rushed out, an attempt to fill in the silence.

“Bright and early as we like it,” Falena said. “We’ll send over his attendants with his stuff and after that, they’ll leave. Goodnight, little brother!”

“...Yeah, night," He dismissed the bitterness under his tongue, tossing his phone over to the couch.

He let a smirk curl onto his face when he went to lie down. This had to be the satisfaction someone felt when they killed two birds with one stone. It would be amusing to see how that herbivore would deal with the brat’s constant energy. And hey, he wasn’t abusing his authority over the herbivore, he was simply using the opportunity that walked up to him on their own two legs to have a peaceful time this winter break. All’s well that ends well. To Leona, tomorrow couldn’t come any quicker.

thanks for reading my leona/yuu brainrot ! comments and rbs are always appreciated <3 if you'd like to read more, check out my ao3 + masterlist !

[ series post | next chapter ]

[feraltuxedo]

My favourite short Good Omens fics of 2022

I love a good fic rec round-up post, and I've read quite a few excellent stories this year. So here are just some of my favourite Good Omens fics under 10k words that have been completed in 2022:

Bi M' Aingeal (Be My Angel) by IneffableToreshi T, 4905 words. Human AU. A very sweet meet-cute with folk musician Crowley and audience member Aziraphale, at which they bond over their shared knowledge of Scottish Gaelic.

Still, a great deal of light falls on everything by caricari M, 8660 words. Melancholic canon-compliant fic (I know!) set in 1970's New York. An angel and a demon meet, have a conversation full of longing and loss. Beautiful and sad.

Small Cock Appreciation Society by cheerios_and_wine E, 6471 words. Human AU. A very gentle character study masquerading as smut. Aziraphale's small equipment turns out to be just what Crowley is after. Both hot and tender.

Tidewrack by TawnyOwl95 E, 6706 words. Human AU. The hilarious, kinky adventures of Crowley the pirate and a freshly captured Aziraphale. Yes, it goes exactly how you expect... or does it? Hot, funny, and very clever.

Scenes from an Italian Restaurant by journeytogallifrey T, 7004 words. Human AU set in 1980's New York, the story of two people reconnecting in the same place, told in a series of beautiful vignettes. Melancholic with a happy ending.

Au hasard Aziraphale by GiggleSnortBangDead T, 6001 words. Fun Human AU in which Aziraphale gets kidnapped... but finds himself not unhappy with his new situation. Roadtrip fic with a bit of a difference.

Entre Nous by snae_b E, 4219 words. Human AU inspired by TV cooking competitions. Crowley and Aziraphale meet in front of the camera, but catch up in a whole different way after recording. Delicious in every sense of the word.

[spiderling-space]

Hey so this thought has been on my mind for like ages and I think that you'd be able to write a headcanon about it in a wonderful way, so I'm presenting this idea to you hehe ( I love ur blog so so so much btw!)

So let's say that whatever miracles of seven happened, that Yuu overblots. Being constantly pushed around by other students by being magicless, solving the idiot trio's problems, trying to survive overblots and dealing with Crowley's neglectful ass cheeks sure is not easy. With all the piled and bottled up negative emotions, Yuu like the previous boys, overblots. Yuu wasn't that hard to defeat cuz you know, they're magicless, but the twst boys did struggle and Yuu's quite the challenge too. So what if, after Yuu's overblot, they had a full on mental breakdown. Not like crying mental breakdown, they're full on SCREAMING, their voice are cracking too, and very painful to hear. They started to unconsciously harm themselves so they have to be tied down to prevent to hurt themselves further. How would the dormleaders react to that?

(Sorry for my English and if I ever break a rule, it's OK if you decide to not do this too. Btw I got this idea when I watch ATLA aka Aang the last airbender, for reference of the breakdown of Yuu just search "Azula's breakdown" that practically how their breakdown looked like :D)

I cant write headcanons because you basically wrote everything. I will just make comments and additions to this. first I mention the background, secondly Azula’s breakdown so non ATLA watchers can understand a little and lastly, MC having breakdown like Azula. For the record, I could write about ATLA for pages since it is something I love since 2005. LOL This became a bit meta xd

You can join the discord server here 😉🤣

Firstly, the back ground:

I was 7 years old when ATLA started airing. I’d be excited to get back home to watch ATLA after school. Azula’s breakdown was awful back then when I first watch it as a kid. And of course, when they aired the episodes again and again. I rewatched again because I remembered the show being dope when I was in 12th grade which was stress relief while studying for university exams, and then I rewatched last year and even founded a Zutara server. Now I’m getting back to the point. In the last two rewatching, I saw Azula in a different light and her breakdown at the end of the show was understandable. I can recommend some ATLA meta that you might like. 

Secondly, Azula’s breakdown: 

Azula lost everything. In the flashbacks, you saw she was getting along with Zuko, laughing and playing tag until Ozai’s influence on her grew while Ursa showed more affection towards Zuko since Ozai basically hated Zuko. These two triggered each other and it grew like snowball effect which came to the point that Ozai-Azula and Ursa-Zuko. She didn’t get love from Ozai, she was just a puppet, someone to empower him more, not his daughter meanwhile to Ursa, she was a monster. Azula was 8 years old  Ursa disappeared. Imagine how this would affect the child. After this, she had estranged brother that she was jealous of because of Ursa’s love, a father who manipulated her, and an uncle who was too in pain to do anything and he was more focused on Zuko. She only had Mai and Ty Lee as “friends” but it was toxic and Azula used fear to control them. After Zuko got banished, Mai and Ty Lee went to their own places, leaving Azula alone with Ozai. Just when Zuko got back, she was being like the last times, cruel teasing, Mai and Ty Lee with her. Later, Zuko went away and probably got lectured by Ozai for her lie. Mai and Ty Lee stood against her. In the end, she had no one. Ozai didn’t want her with him either because he only wants power. Being alone drew her to the edge. In the Royal Hair Washing, the girl sje fired had her face. Her self hatred was palpable. She started to reflect this via Ursa, the mother who thought her as monster and didn’t love her like she did Zuko. I believe she would have had breakdown if she actually killed Zuko. At the end, she couldn’t handle it anymore. Being all alone, not being loved, self hatred and finally failing at something which is something she knows Ozai would never tolerate like he did with Zuko. This 14-year-old wouldn’t be able to handle it anymore and had breakdown.

Now last section, MC having breakdown like Azula’s:

Let’s see the things MC went through:

Stripped away from home

Doesn’t have much memory of it

Is thrusted into a world so foreign to them, where everything is foreign to them. There is no familiar thing that can make them recall home or feel at home

Is forced to study things that they have no prior info where the others have prior info and they are expected to ace the tests. This puts on pressure on regular students, can’t imagine the pressure they would feel since they barely understand the magic.

Is treated like trash by everyone at least once. From the first moment they came to Twisted Wonderland, they were like dirtbag. Dire gave them a house where they could get Hepatitis A to C, tetanus, hypothermia and any other disease. They have lived in that state for months and the house barely got fixed by the end of exams. They got belittled or used by almost all characters at least once. Examples: Vil calling them nobody; Azul trying to take the only thing they have from them, the dorm; Riddle calling them uneducated because not having magical parents; Leona acting like they are a toy in E2; Jamil literally manipulating their choice; sometimes NPC characters talked; Cater making them do his work etc.

They are given more than a person should handle. They are not certificated psychologist, they aren’t superhuman, they don’t have super healing... They are just human but has to fight enemies than can easily kill them if it were not the magic users around them. They are given the task of dealing with the emotional breakdown of the other people.

All of these are building up more and more. Maybe they started to get along with people after the belittlement and being used but every new character does this. At one point, it will be too much and they will think “they are only nice to me because I did a favor to them. If not for that, they wouldn’t be nice to me” which would lead to self doubt. When one starts doubting themselves, everything else starts to go down. Also, new characters treating them that way adds salt to the wound.

MC isn’t a professional psychologist. They can’t handle other people’s issues without taking a toll at themselves. They don’t even catch a break between everything.

Dire is deliberately keeping them away from home as they all do the errands he say. To him, what MC wants doesn’t matter much. The game doesn’t show but if MC has family and friends or pets, you can’t tell me that they wouldn’t miss them once or see, hug them or know their state, alive-dead, healthy-sick etc. 

Lastly not being invincible. The end of Episode 5 shows this well. They couldn’t stand against Grim who isn’t as powerful as the other overblot characters. They are mortal who can get hurt easily.

Now all these build up meanwhile we don’t see an MC centered chapter, how they are etc. It’s all about the others. Maybe there were a few chapters asking if MC is okay after everything but it feels like it is in the second plan. 

Everything that I mentioned can lead to a breakdown like Azula’s. Everything is just too much to handle and they don’t talk with a professional about it. When they finally let out everything, it feels much better, screaming out their lungs, lashing out like all of them did. They are finally letting out all of their emotions, crying and screaming; yet still feels better than bottling everything up. They think maybe that’s how overblot characters felt.

All in all, everyone in NRC needs a counselor.

[marlasomething]

MARLA’S 2022 AO3 MASTERLIST

Hello there, Marla here!

This year I won’t be as messy as last year with my writing organisation so I am doing a 2022 Masterlist of everything published on AO3 to be updated as new stuff arrives! Yaih! All my nonsense at your disposition!

And, if you want to see what I wrote the previous year, not to worry, here it is my 2021 AO3 Masterlist

Now, with further ado, allons-y!

Long life and prosperity,

Marla

(The) Amelia Project

Amelia Caller: Dawn of the Characters: script I based my phone call recording ON THE AMELIA FEED on

Manage Your Clon-ishgo: Cocoa Challenge 2022 (Day 1)

This Could Be Me: Cocoa Challenge 2022 (Alternative promp)

Last of the Real Ones: Cocoa Challenge 2022 (Day 2)

The Fools Who Dream: Cocoa Challenge 2022 (Day 3)

Louder than the Weather: Cocoa Challenge 2022 (Alternative promp)

Goodbye To My Life: Cocoa Challenge 2022 (Day 4)

It’s the Hitmen’s Life: Cocoa Challenge 2022 (Alternative promp)

Fakenniversary: Cocoa Challenge 2022 (Day 5)

Everything Just Here All At Once: Cocoa Challenge 2022 (Alternative promp)

ATLA

Go Now:  Zutara Month 2022

This Isn’t My Idea: Zutara Month 2022 

Tea Nation: Zutara Month 2022 

...Let Your Heart Decide?: Zutara Month 2022 

Lonely Nation: High-school AU Zuko-centric

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Little Doll Of Horrors: part of the Multiship of Madness of 22

(The) Evil Dead

The Sorta Kinda Winding Road: Original Trilogy + 2013 Film crossover-ish

Fairy Oak

Capitaneando Por Amor: parte de FairyOaktubre22

El Talento De Miss Feli: parte de FairyOaktubre22 

Miss Poppy’s Home For All Animals: parte de FairyOaktubre22 

Aquellos Que Se Fueron: parte de FairyOaktubre22 

Navegando en Dibujos: parte de FairyOaktubre22

Magia Inmortal: parte de FairyOaktubre22

Good Omens

So Unaware Of My Status: A Visit From Miss Crowley Challenge

The Sound Of Leathered Women!: A Visit From Miss Crowley Challenge 

Girl With A Tongue: A Visit From Miss Crowley Challenge 

Non-Favourite Son: A Visit From Miss Crowley Challenge

House of the Dragon

Dragon People: part of the Multiship of Madness of 22

IASIP

Philadelphia Un-Daily: +Dracula (novel) part of the Multiship of Madness of 22

Marvel (Mainly MCU based)

A Relic To Be Canonized: Post-MoM Prof. Xavier & Dr. Strange centric

You Didn’t Leave: Post-MoM Wanda-838 centric

Only If You Stay I’ll Be Forgiven: Post-MoM set in 838, a lot of sapphics

Bucky Horror Winning Show: part of the Multiship of Madness of 22

OFMD

Hall Away The Lucius: Anne Bonny/Mary Read in our gay pirate show

Cat Sails: Black Sails crossover

New Girl (Sometimes) Anachronism: new member for our fav crew!

Osemanverse

Our Love Is What Killed The Heteronorm: Solitaire ace!Tori-centric

Original Work

2pookyTaletober21: spanish!, ongoing!

Untender Is Revenge: Great Gatsby reletting, spanish!,  ongoing!

Peor Que Ajo: microrrelato

Riordanverse (Mythology Sagas)

Their “House”: part of the Multiship of Madness of 22

Stranger Things

Life After Afterlife: Eddie mourning Chrissy

Bag of Bodies: part of the Multiship of Madness of 22

TMA

Republishing in this webpage my adoption!fic-ish A Tight Weird Family (ongoing!): 1.Martin, 2.Georgie,  3.Sasha, 4.Daisy, 5.Gerry, 6.Basira, 7.Tim, 8.Melanie

The Archives Will Listen: ongoing!

Europe Is Living a Celebration (and some Fear Avatars too): written with @khaleesiinatardis

Making A (Cursed) Home: JonGerryMartin series

Finding My Mind: Part of a monthly AU series

Friendshipping Gravity: for @khaleesiinatardis

The Road You Are Going To Take: Part of a monthly AU series

Step by Steps: Burried statement

Louder Than Worlds: JonGerryMartin series

As The Ground Keeps Shifting: for the 1st finale Anniversary

Cabin In The Clouds: study on the Scottish Safehouse as an entity

The Right Boy: part of my monthly AU series

A Weekend In The (Apocalypse) Country: Jmart week 2022

I’ll Be Your Shelter: Jmart week 2022

For My Roomate Is...: Jmart week 2022

If All Was Lost: Jmart week 2022

Is Anyone We Meet Really THat New To Us?: Jmart week 2022

Crazy Notions: Jmart week 2022

My Own With You Each Night: Jmart week 2022

The Work of Three Or Four: Jmart week 2022

Things Beyond Your Ken: Extintion-ist stament ftw Jmart parenting

Beholding Webs: JonGerryMartin series

The Foundations Of Decay: Midnight Mass crossover

Foggy Realizations: Lonely Statement pre-canon

Misplaced: Stranger Statement set in S1

Entangled Road: Web of Fears series (Annabelle+Corruption)

Threads of Obscurity: Web of Fears series (Annabelle+Dark)

Interwined Violence: Web of Fears series (Annabelle+Slaughter)

Eyes Out Of Me: Season 5 Style Statement

Another Student Anthem: part of a monthly AU series

Twistingly We Go Around: part of a monthly AU series

Ghost Archives: part of the Multiship of Madness of 22 

Sharp Therapy: part of (my) Mag a Week statement fics

Carnal Solitude: part of (my) Mag a Week statement fics 

Callous Distances: part of (my) Mag a Week statement fics 

Body Points: part of (my) Mag a Week statement fics 

Little Possessiveness: part of (my) Mag a Week statement fics 

Crumbling Concert: part of (my) Mag a Week statement fics 

To Hate Them All: part of (my) Mag a Week statement fics 

Last Guest For Mister Spider: part of (my) Mag a Week statement fics

The Brothers Non-Slayer: part of (my) Mag a Week statement fics

West Side Story

No Happy Somewhere: Riff/Bernardo AU

(The) Witcher

Erasing (Yourself) From The Narrative: how “Burn WitcherButcher Burn”  was born

Wolf 359

Die for Me: + TMA and WTNV

Audrey with a IV: + TMA and WTNV 

Your Natural Tendencies Pay: CW!Alcoholism + TMA and WTNV

Keep On (Un)Living: + TMA and WTNV

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

Interview with Neil about Lorna May exhibition with portraits of Neil and Good Omens. (x) :)

Oliver Bayliss: How did Lorna May's artist residency come about for Good Omens and what was it like having her on set?

Nei Gaiman: It came about because I had met Lorna May initially at a comic relief event where she was sketching, and she sketched me, and we hit it off and as Good Omens started, I thought it would be really nice to have an artist around to record some of the madness and some of the big, strange things that were happening and I contacted Lorna May and she mentioned that she had actually already been once an on set artist and knew how to keep out of everybody's way and knew how to make friends amongst the crew.So I invited her along and it was amazing just watching what she did with charcoal, with paints, with newspapers, with pencils, with paper and then these lightening sketches, these studies, and then, because she is Lorna May, she got both David Tennant and Michael sheen to agree to let her do their portraits in lunchtimes and nobody had time, but you can't really say no to Lorna may, so they happened and both Michael and David loved what she did.

Oliver Bayliss: How did Lorna May's artist residency come about for Good Omens and what was it like having her on set?

Neil Gaiman: It came about because I had met Lorna May initially at a comic relief event where she was sketching, and she sketched me, and we hit it off and as Good Omens started, I thought it would be really nice to have an artist around to record some of the madness and some of the big, strange things that were happening and I contacted Lorna May and she mentioned that she had actually already been once an on set artist and knew how to keep out of everybody's way and knew how to make friends amongst the crew.So I invited her along and it was amazing just watching what she did with charcoal, with paints, with newspapers, with pencils, with paper and then these lightening sketches, these studies, and then, because she is Lorna May, she got both David Tennant and Michael sheen to agree to let her do their portraits in lunchtimes and nobody had time, but you can't really say no to Lorna may, so they happened and both Michael and David loved what she did.

Oliver Bayliss: As we're rare book dealers, we have to ask, why was Aziraphale a dealer himself? I rather like the irony that his portrait is now in a rare book shop - a homecoming of sorts!

Neil Gaiman: So do I! I think it's because both Terry and I have spent too much of our lives in book shops and too much of our lives in second hand book shops and too much of our lives marveling at the different kinds of bookshop there are out there, the different kinds of rare book dealers out there, the ones who want to sell you a book and the ones who don't! The bookshops filled with strange angles and books piled up everywhere, that you're never going to be able to find the books; where the person looking after the bookshop knows where several thousand books are in ways that are impossible for any other human being defined and the ones in which they discourage you. Um, all of those things we thought, plus of course we knew that The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, a rare book was going to come into this and we wanted our Angel to know what it was and to recognize it.

Oliver Bayliss: Looking at Lorna May's portraits: firstly, do you feel she's captured the personalities of the central characters, and secondly, do you feel she captured your personality?

Neil Gaiman: What I love most, I think about Lorna May's portraits of David Tennant and Michael Sheen it's they don't look to me like Crowley and Aziraphale, they look to me like David and Michael, when their hair was like that to play the characters, they feel to me somehow much more like glorious portraits of the actors than they do as portraits of Crowley, portraits of Aziraphale.I feel like she's definitely captured something in her portraits of me, I find astonishing, I look at them and I think, do I look like? Is that me? It seems to be me. Lots of people draw me, but most of the drawings don't feel like me. They feel like the kind of images that you'd get when as a child, you'd sit in one of those photo booths and a bunch of four photos would chunk out and you'd stare at yourself and you'd think, do I look like that, maybe I look like that.... sort of, maybe, maybe my face was wrong, maybe I'm, but you know that you couldn't actually afford to have another four photos taken so you just sort of put up with it.Um, Lorna May's portraits of me don't feel like that. They feel like me, I feel slightly melancholy, um, very distracted and like I'm probably thinking about something along way away, which of course when she was painting up probably was.

Oliver Bayliss: Continuing on the theme of Good Omens, how do you think both Aziraphale and Crowley would have handled lockdown in 2020?

Neil Gaiman: I think that Crowley would have handled it very, very badly because Crowley likes experiences and one of the things that 2020 has told us is that experiences, going places and doing things, watching things, seeing shows, going to bars because that's where the people are, all of those things can be taken away. 

Whereas I think, honestly, Aziraphale would love it. He gets to sit in his shop, gets to read all the books that he wants. He's not really bothered by customers, gets to catch up on his baking. 

I think the only thing that Crowley would really like is watching human nature take its course. You know, we've gone... here we are in month eight or nine of all of this (at the time of interview), and we're at the point now where huge groups of people have decided to abandon the germ theory of disease has inconvenient and I think probably that Crowley, whatever part of him is still a demon, would love that....

[on-stardust-wings]

Been forever since I did any updates on fic progress, so here is. Don't know if anyone cares, but still.

About ten months ago, I caved and accepted I was going to write Good Omens fic now. I thought it would be a few short bits maybe. I wanted to do some night at Crowley's flat stuff, a bit of fun body swap shenanigans, some post canon healing. (I have by now done plenty of all of these.) It very quickly became clear that doing fic for a new fandom doesn't magically grant me short fic powers... And that I can't do snapshots, that it was gonna be a long ass, continuous "from Tadfield airbase into indetermined amount of time post-Armageddon".

As of today, the word file is a proud 96k words (gonna hit 100k soon!). It's already the third longest fic I've ever written.

I am proud to announce that 43k of that are now done and continuous, connected fic, and that both characters have actually left Crowley's flat to face their fates now! Um. *embarrassed facepalm*

The rest is some completed scenes, most of them in the post canon time frame. My brain won't stop writing them, and they're fun and cool, and I think they'll be a fic of their own maybe, so people can choose whether to read what'll probably be 50+k of elaborate canon gapfillers or not before getting into post-canon stuff? On the other hand, I feel like some of it will only make sense if read together... Ahh, decisions!

Anyway, what's the record for night at Crowley's flat fic length? I haven't read any yet. I blacklisted them once I realised I was going to write one, so I can write my own stuff first and then see what everyone else does. (Really looking forward to seeing all the forbidden fic, too!)

Am I ridiculous? Is there an audience for long as fuck, until after the Ritz canon-compliant fic with lots of character study bits, and some good amount of angst, and queerplatonic Aziraphale/Crowley? *shrug* Well, I'll find out once I get them through the executions (I have some on that, and I love Crowley's part!) and the Ritz dinner, because that's where I told myself I'd have to be before publishing anything. (I'm awful at writing in order; I might write a dozen more of post-canon random scenes before I fill in the remaining gaps...)

[wonderland-in-bloom]

the boys’ dream dates pt.1

@meiriethedreamer​ asked: could you do hc's for each character's dream date?

of course sweetie ❤️

♡

heartslabyul

riddle rosehearts

maybe a simple tea party in the heartslabyul gardens 

or even a small picnic with his s/o

DEF A GAME OF CROQUET 

taking care of hedgehogs together

just imagine washing hedgehods w/ riddle and soap bubbles everywhere, and it’s just a dang good time with lots of fluffy moments

basically y’all are taking care of your children

ace trappola 

going to a cafe and just ordering TONS of desserts 

playing card games in the cafe

the cakes in the cafe would be so good you both would attempt to bake them yourselves

and you know it becomes a huge mess with the whole kitchen covered in flour and cream and just- a mess.

you two would probably be yelled at by crowley/riddle but hey at least you both thought it was worth it :))

deuce spade

study dates definitely! 

he basically wants to be an honor student and you’re trying your best to help him out to achieve that dream

lots of nights together in the library

he’d probably end up falling asleep and the next thing he knows it’s morning and the first thing he sees is your sleeping figure snuggled up next to him

lots of rushed and panicked working cuz he probs forgot something (being the disorganized lil bih he is)

at least you get to spend time w/ each other

trey clover

idk why i think he’d love sleepovers with you

filled with movie nights, card games, snacking, all that good shiz!

he’d probs even invite others to the sleepover too

but his attention would def be on you 24/7

when the others asleep and the both of you are the only ones, he’d probably whisper sweet little things in your ear, like how much he loves you or how he wants to make you the happiest person in the whole world

or he’d just talk about his fantasies, dreams, aspirations, or even just his day and you’d probs just listen and the both of you will just be super duper in love with each other AAAAAAAAAAAA 

CUDDLES 100%

cater diamond

going out to different cafes and restaurants and just trying everything 

he’d be recording everything and vlogging 24/7

doing q&a sessions or interactive sessions on social media on these dates would def be something you two do!

he’d get SUPER DUPER jealous if someone comments something about you hinting that they’re interested in you or smthn like that

he’d def just swoop you into his arms and give u a peck on the lips just to show em all who’s boss

and lots of cute little fluffy moments between the two of you for all his social media followers to see

can be super duper cheesy up to the point it’s cringey but its cute so it’s okay ig

octavinelle

azul ashengrotto

azul is a busy boi filled with work 24/7, from being the dorm leader to the mostro lounge’s manager to granting students’ wishes so his ideal, dream date would just be a lazy day with his s/o

he’d just expect the both of you waking up super duper late and just laze around together for a while

maybe just laying on the bed, not saying anything, and just enjoying each other’s presence and just cuddling

he kinda expects u to make you both lunch (but he doesn’t say anything ofc) but u just do so anyways

just a day filled with lazing around, maybe watching a movie or two

massaging each other guaranteed ;))

jade Leech

gardening dates!

his hobbies are making terrariums (so cute omg) and he’d dedicate a whole day to the both of you just making a terrarium together

shopping for the terrarium the day before!

making the terrarium underwater themed and just make it adorable

lots of making fun of each other

endless smiling :))

floyd leech

okay his hobby is dancing (THATS JUST ADORABLE LIKE??)

so either he’d bring you to a whole fancy af kinda ball, or just late night dancing in the kitchen at 3-am

either dances elegantly like your typical royal or dances just like a madman

he’d just wrap his arms around your waist and embrace you every chance he gets

his favorite is slow dancing with you where you’d just rest your head on his chest, one hand tightly grasping his and the other on his shoulder and his free hand on your waist

both closing your eyes with huge, idiotic grins on your faces and just being in love ;-;

savanaclaw

leona kingscholar

we all know how much this boi loves to sleep (loves sleep as much as he loves you) and honestly the perfect date for him would just be a night where you snuggle against him and just cuddle and lay down beside each other

and you know if he’s able to get out of bed that night, he’ll take you two to the dorm’s rooftop with some blankets and pillows and just sleep there with you till morning

stargazing !1!1!1!1!1!

you’d both just stare at the clear night sky filled with twinkling stars

you’d point out a shooting star at him and tell him to make a wish

“i wish to be with you for eternity~” and honestly you’d probably lose it and get super duper flustered lolololol (cuz who wouldnt)

deep and existential talks at 2-am

jack howl

so apparently one of his talents is snowboarding (damn thats cool bruh) and his ideal, dream date would be taking you to a snow lodge/resort during the winter

ofc he’d show off his snowboarding skills 

he’d also be super duper patient and just teach you

you’d probs lose your balance and fall into his arms (KYAAAAAA~)

you both would just be goofy in the end and just play in the snow 

bUiLdInG sNowMen gUaRanTeEd

AAA SNOWBALL FIGHTS

in conclusion; being goofy in the snow

ruggie bucchi

baby comes from a poor neighborhood and his clothes are hand-me-downs from leona, and although he’d never admit it, he’d enjoy going shopping with you

just simply window-shopping with you would suffice

you saw a cute little bracelet you really liked but didn’t get it for yourself, and at the end of the day he surprised you with it

it was sunset and he just surprised you out of nowhere when you were walking home 

left you in tears honestly knowing his whole background and everything

okay he’d be a little tsundere too and try his best not to act flustered around you, but he’d just engulf you in a big hug and maybe started tearing up too

♡

i decided to chop this up into two parts cuz its going to be too long eheh but i struggled w/ some but the some of one i was super duper confused with became the ones i liked most ehehe~

hope y’all enjoy it, watch out for pt 2!

- a♕

[lady-divine-writes]

Good Omens - I Was Given Four Rules to Follow ... I Broke Every One: Chapter 1/3 (Rated PG13)

Summary: When Warlock Dowling is summoned to the old South Downs cottage of Aziraphale and Crowley to help clean out their attic, presumably after their deaths, he is given four rules to follow.

... He breaks every single one.

Notes: For @silver-colour

Written for the @tricketyboo2020 prompt "Creepypasta format story (like a found footage or witness statement kind of thing)" by silver-colour. It is a mild reworking of an older fanfic of mine, but that goes tongue in cheek with the ending of this story sort of. XD I would put this between Spooky Level 2 and 3, with 3 being "major and minor character death, disturbing images or concepts, major dark themes, major violence, etc." But there's only minor mentions of blood/body horror. But the whole undead thing is a trigger for some people and I lean into that imagery a bit. I wanted this to be a sort of leveled up Goosebumps tale. Tl;dr proceed with caution <3

Chapter 1

 I am going to die.

I’m going to die, I’m going to die, I’m going to die.

I have to keep repeating it because I have to come to grips with it.

I am going to die.

Not in sixty years.

More like sixty minutes.

Oh, Amanda. I am sorry.

If you ever hear this … I never meant for this to happen.

My name is Warlock Dowling and I am 34 years-old. Devoted son and husband, I’ve spent over a decade working towards achieving my dream of following in my father’s footsteps and entering politics one day.

It’s a dream I don’t think I’ll be seeing through to the end.

I am telling you this because after reading what I’ve just read … and hearing what I’ve just heard … I am not certain I’m going to make it through the night.

I broke the rules.

There were four. Only four. And I broke them.

I didn’t break them by accident. I absolutely did it on purpose. I’m not suicidal or anything, but you only live once - am I right?

For the record, I don’t regret a single thing.

…

That’s not entirely true.

I’ll regret dying before morning if that’s the way things play out.

Today happens to be October 31st - Halloween night. I’d been tasked with clearing out the attic above a cottage in The South Downs which once belonged to a pair of old family friends. Technically, they were ex-employees of my parents from back when I was young, but I thought of them as surrogates. They practically raised me, educated me, taught me everything I know about coping in this cruel, pathetic world.

I held them in the highest regard.

They were the only people in my life who treated me as if I could become more than what I had been born into, that fate had something else in store for me. Because of them, I met the best friends a boy could ever have.

I will forever be grateful for that.

Cleaning out this attic was the least I could do to repay them, but to be honest, I don’t know who summoned me here. I assumed it was the executor of their estate, but now I’m not so sure. Looking over the letter in my hands, there is no legible signature. And the gold embossed emblem at the top that I took for granted as belonging to some upscale legal firm is, on closer inspection, gibberish - a mess of fleur-de-lis underscored by Latin words that roughly translate to “the cows shall rise”.

Ludicrous, right?

How did I miss that?

But more ludicrous - and confusing - are the rules.

I had been given rules about cleaning this attic.

The first rule on the list was to touch only what I could see. Under no circumstances was I to open any of the boxes or chests.

So, naturally, I opened every single one.

The second rule was not to put anything on. Fine by me. The only clothes up here are old lady outfits and a pair of white satin shoes.

But …

There was an awesome vintage leather jacket hanging on a dressmaker’s dummy in the corner and … well … it had my name written all over it! I had to try it on, see if it fit.

And it does.

Rule number three - keep to my torch. Don’t light any candles.

Nuh-uh! It’s Halloween! And torches are lame. So on the candles went. Jeez, there are a lot of them. Enough to burn down the whole place if I’m not careful. It actually seems like they’ve multiplied since I’ve been up here.

I won’t lie - it’s unsettling.

But according to the list, rule number four is the most important:

Don’t read any books I find. And definitely not out loud.

The first thing I saw when I entered the attic was a stack of leather-bound books. I scoffed at the sight of them, piled up to my chin, right inside the entryway. Isn’t that a bit like putting a huge bowl of candy front and center on your dining room table in the middle of dinner with a huge sign saying, “Do not eat?” If the most important rule about going into the attic is, “Don’t read anything!” why not put all the books on a high shelf?

Or the moon?

I’m not a book lover. I read hundreds of pages a day for work. I definitely don’t do it for fun. So this shouldn’t have been a hard one for me to follow.

But they looked like diaries.

And diaries hold secrets.

That made them a different matter all together.

I couldn’t resist.

But once I opened the top one, I knew I’d made a mistake.

These weren’t just any diaries.

They were the diaries of my two friends - Aziraphale and Crowley.

There had always been something odd about those two. I didn’t believe for a second that they were a proper nanny or gardener, not even when I was a young, impressionable child. But they were funny - a distraction from the dull as dishwater life of an attache’s son.

Yes, I was a spoiled little rich kid with everything I could ever ask for handed to me and, on top of that, diplomatic immunity.

Woe was me.

I realize how much of a douche whining about that makes me sound.

My life was still dull.

I was still lonely.

I never knew for sure what happened to them after they left us. I made assumptions - erroneous assumptions. I thought they lived happily ever after at least.

Now I know … that wasn’t the case.

I’m recording this in the hopes that someone will find it, so that you might know the true story of what happened to them …

… and why you might not be hearing from me again.

***

The Diary of Aziraphale Fell - Reluctant Widower

January 14th-

“Please, sir,” the decrepit woman hissed, but not unkindly. She came about her speech impediment by a mixture of symptoms - her thick accent coupled with her indeterminable old age caused her to talk that way. “Please, reconsider this decision.”

I glared at her regardless. I knew my eyes were bloodshot; my hair a mass of tangled, wayward strands; my lips quivered from constant, unrelenting crying.

“You said you had it!” I screamed, bypassing her arguments. “You said you would sell it to me! Wh---why else would I come here!?”

“You need to understand,” the woman implored, opening her hands in a pleading gesture. She fixed me with one clear blue eye, the other eye clouded – a useless, milky white lump of tissue bulging inside its socket, “what you ask for … it is unnatural.”

“But your granddaughter said it was a done deal!” I persisted, shooting a steely glare at the simpering young woman who ducked behind her grandmother to hide from my volatile stare. I wasn’t about to leave without the item I came for. At this point, I was willing to tear the place apart and everything inside - including the two of them - to get it.

They must have sensed that.

Even as the woman continued to defy me, she looked slightly more afraid than she had a minute ago.

“My granddaughter is foolish!” The woman directed the comment over her shoulder to the girl cowering there. “But she means well. We need the money. She was thinking with her head and not her heart.”

“I can pay you twice what you’re asking!” I reached into my back pocket for my wallet. “Three times! I’ll give you whatever you want!”

The girl, intrigued by my proposal, peeked over her grandmother’s shoulder, but the woman turned and barked sharply at her in a language I could not understand.

That was when I began to think I might be in danger.

I’d spent my entire life studying languages, so hearing one I didn’t comprehend, not even an inch, sent a shiver down my spine.

“Mr. Fell …” The old woman reached out, I presumed to comfort me, and took my shaking hand in hers “… your husband is dead. And I am more sorry than I can ever express at your loss. You carry your love for him like a beacon. I see it in your eyes. It shines from every part of you. With him gone, it is up to you to carry it. It will never fade as long as you remember him.”

Those were, without a doubt, the kindest words anyone had said to me since my husband passed. I crumbled, new tears falling hot down my cheeks. But regardless of her sympathy, sincere though it might be, I refused to relent.

I refused!

“I don’t want to remember him!” I whimpered, my anger renewed at the sound of my voice fracturing. “I want him here with me! I need you to help me bring him back!”

The woman sighed in pity but shook her head.

“The effects of life are varied, Mr. Fell. Our fate … it changes every day, with every choice that we make. But the effects of death should remain permanent.”

I flinched at that word as if she’d struck me across the face.

Permanent.

Crowley dead … my husband gone … and nothing for me to look forward to in life but emptiness. We’d had every moment of our lives planned together.

One arsehole drunk driver later and now I was alone.

I literally had no one.

I had lost contact with my mum early in life, never knew my father, didn’t have children of my own. My boss and mentor was an abusive prick who tormented me throughout the span of my career until I found a way out from under his thumb.

Until Crowley helped me discover a life where I didn’t need the man’s guidance or control.

But now I was going to lose him!? The only one who had stuck by me, who defended me, loved me through thick and thin!?

No! That was beyond cruel! And I wasn’t going to roll over and accept it!

I let the sorrow within me curdle, turn sour as I yanked my hand out of the old woman’s grasp.

“Your granddaughter said there are other methods of getting what I want!” I snarled. “Dangerous methods. Methods that might require payment in sacrifice … even blood. And not necessarily my blood. Innocent blood, if you catch my meaning.”

Both women gasped.

Despite the conversation at hand, I smiled.

Good, I thought. We were finally all on the same page.

Up until a few days ago, I never considered violence to be the answer to anything. But I had since come to a crossroads where an exception had made itself clear.

I was prepared to annihilate my humanity to get my husband back.

The old woman snapped her head over her shoulder, scolding her granddaughter in a harsh, guttural voice. The girl, who had started to brave coming out of hiding, shrank down once again.

“Be reasonable,” the woman begged, “please, and think about what you are saying. What you are willing to do.”

“No,” I said, my calm more potent than my anger … or so my husband used to say. “The time for me being reasonable is over. I will get what I want, no matter what the cost. The question is whether or not you will be the one to give it to me.”

The woman looked down at her gnarled hands and sighed a long, exhausted sigh. “Alright, Mr. Fell. I will sell the potion to you at the promised price.”

I stared at her for a moment in shock. I was relieved, of course. I hadn’t thought I would get this far. It frightened me how much I had begun looking forward to throttling her with my bare hands, imagined her neck snapping within my grasp, effortlessly like a twig.

That couldn’t be me though. I wasn’t that kind of person. It was this place - this shop and all of its trinkets, their age and professed magical abilities amplifying my grief, turning every rational thought I had into rage.

I had to get out of here and fast before I did something I might regret.

I opened my wallet with the onset of happier tears and thumbed through the bills, pulling out extra for the joy of getting what I wanted. I handed the money over, but the woman refused to touch it. She waved it away, her granddaughter popping up long enough to grab the money and then scurry off again. The woman reached into the folds of her skirts and retrieved a leather pouch that hung from a thin belt around her waist. From it she fished out a tiny blue bottle with a cork stopper sealing the mouth. She gave it a long, troubled look, then handed it to me.

For the first time, her hand trembled.

“Pour the contents of this bottle into your husband’s mouth, Mr. Fell,” she instructed, “and your husband will return.”

I held the bottle up to the dim candlelight of the musty Soho shop. The blue glass glimmered, a thick liquid inside swaying back and forth, shimmering like sun-tossed sparkles across a dark, foreboding sea.

“There are some rules that go along with that potion,” the woman said, her voice weeding into my head, summoning me back from my momentary trance, “and a few warnings you must heed as well.”

I sighed. I had hoped it would be a simple matter of giving my husband the liquid and living happily ever after, but I knew in my heart that nothing was ever that simple.

“Okay,” I said, slipping the bottle carefully into my pocket and patting over it twice to ensure its safety. “Tell me. What are the rules?”

“First of all, you will give that to your husband, but what will come back …” she paused, swallowed hard “… will not entirely be your husband.”

I nodded. I had expected her to say something along those lines, like a scene straight from an old time-y horror movie.

The woman locked both eyes, one clear and one clouded, on my face as I waited for her to finish her speech, eager to go back home and get on with my life. She realized, with regret, that I had every intention of going through with this, and took on the heavy burden of allowing this to continue.

“Be there to look into his eyes when he wakes,” she said.

I hadn’t dreamed of leaving his side, but since the woman made such a point of it, I asked, “Why?”

“He is being reborn, in a sense. And like other simple-minded creatures, he will imprint on the first person he sees.” She took my hands and squeezed them. “That person needs to be you!”

My gulp was audible, the weight of her words and of my plan suddenly settling within me. They pressed in on me, like that moment when the police came to my door. Their words – “Mr. Fell? I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but … it’s about your husband …” had turned me inside out, left my heart out in the cold.

I felt that cold now.

“Once the potion absorbs into his tissues, it will restart his heart,” she continued. “Then the potion will replicate. It will begin to take the place of his blood. It will make him calm, easier for you to control.”

I nodded again. I wanted to say something, assure the woman that I understood, but she didn’t pause long enough for me to speak. It wouldn’t have mattered. I saw the trepidation in her one, clear eye. I had no clue what to say to make this better.

“It will be a slow process, and you must learn to be a patient man!” She raised her voice, letting go of one hand to waggle an emphatic finger in front of my face. “You will be teaching him, raising him as you would a child. Remember, even if only a small portion of his soul returns, that soul belongs to your husband, and you must love him or this will not work!”

The woman stepped back, out of breath from her outburst, and her granddaughter (whom I had forgotten about) returned, pushing forward an ornate but dusty antique chair to catch her in. I held the woman’s arms gently and helped her into it, feeling strangely protective. The woman sat and waved us both off, not wanting us to make a fuss when she still had more to say.

“But most importantly,” she labored on, barely missing a beat in her speech, “do not let him taste blood.” I knelt down so that she didn’t feel the need to yell for her words to reach me. “He cannot eat meat, but most of all, don’t let him bite you or lick your wounds. Or anyone else’s – human or animal.”

“Will … will I become a zombie? If he does bite me?”

I’m not quite sure why the word ‘zombie’ leapt to my mind. In every interaction I had had with the woman’s granddaughter before tonight, she had been so careful not to use that term. She used other, more romantic euphemisms such as ‘bring back to the land of the living’, ‘re-associate with life’, and the most used - ‘rebirth’. But that’s what he would be, right? When we moved past the flowery vernacular and got right down to it? This potion I had pocketed would turn my husband into the walking dead, - a simple-minded creature that was once deposed from this Earth.

And that meant ‘zombie’.

As if I had nothing more pressing at hand, I suddenly recalled the Walking Dead marathon Crowley had convinced me to watch (against my better judgement). Crowley thought the show was hilarious, but I could barely make it to the middle of the first season. I had started watching with my hands over my eyes, then with my arm locked around Crowley’s, anxiously smacking his shoulder, and finally with most of my body lying over his lap and my face buried in his shirt.

It wasn’t just the gore in the show that skewered me, made me nauseous, unable to breathe. It was the fear and the pain those characters felt, being chased by a relentless enemy that needed no rest, constantly running into people they couldn’t trust, people who were so out for themselves they no longer believed in the sanctity of life, with nowhere to hide, nowhere safe at all, even behind thick, concrete and metal walls.

Watching your loved ones get turned into soulless monsters - still there, but everything about them that you had once loved out of reach.

And this ‘illness’ or whatever these people had - it spared no one. Even children had become zombies. And in the game that was survival for the remaining uninfected, children had become pawns.

Everything about it seemed so horrendous.

And while I suffered through my existential crisis, Crowley laughed at my antics.

I fought not to smile at the sound of his teasing voice.

“Uh … a little squeamish there, are you, angel?”

Angel.

From the first day we met, that’s what he called me.

Oh, what I wouldn’t give to hear him call me that again!

The old woman chuckled, bringing me reluctantly back from my daydream. “No. Not in this case. That’s not the nature of this spell. No, blood will give him back his memories.”

I looked at the woman, bug-eyed, and shook my head. “I … I don’t …”

“It will ignite his brain. He will begin to feel. In many ways, he will become more the man you married than in any other.”

“Wha---?“ I stuttered, baffled as to how that could be a bad thing. If drinking blood could make Crowley more Crowley, I’d set up an IV drip the minute I got home! I would serve him cups of blood with every meal! I’d make donating blood a requirement for entrance into my bookshop! (That one would definitely kill two birds with one stone. In fact, I might consider doing that anyhow.) “And why wouldn’t I want that again?” I asked, trying not to sound like turning my husband into a blood-sipping fiend was the greatest idea in known history.

The old woman smiled, but it wasn’t fond. It was shrewd, as if she could read every one of my thoughts.

And she didn’t approve.

“Once he has his memories back, he will start to crave it. Soon, drinking blood won’t be enough for him. It won’t work as well. It won’t keep the memories as fresh. He will have to go further, do more. He will become a killer.”

My face must have gone as green as I felt because the woman laughed again, this time with a touch of wickedness. A killer? My Crowley? My sweet, kind, compassionate Crowley?

Okay, maybe I was going too far with the endearments. He’d been a bit of a bastard, after all. Which was why I could picture Crowley becoming a full-fledged bad boy. With that leather jacket he wore like a second skin and his gleaming classic car, he’d been well on his way.

But a killer? No.

Then again, I was willing to become one myself a second ago, so maybe I wasn’t in the best position to judge.

“You are playing with the laws of nature, Mr. Fell,” she said, patting me on the cheek. “You are responsible not only for your own life, but for the lives of those around you.” The woman leaned in close, those eyes – one alive, one dead - more menacing than when I had walked into the shop; her face no longer that of a frail old woman but of a powerful witch.

This time, it was my turn to feel afraid.

“So don’t fuck it up.”

[goodomensblog]

Afterward - Part 14

A Good Omens Choose Your Own Adventure Fic

Here’s how it works:

I’ll write a scene.

At the end of each scene, you’ll be presented with 2-3 options for what the characters will choose to do next.

Comment or reblog to vote for your choice. I’ll count all votes after the first 24 hours after each update is posted.

Read: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11, part 12, part 13

(#1 won! Crowley is off to investigate!)

Afterward - - - Part 14

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Scrolls jut from towering shelves, a canopy of yellowing paper arching overhead. Crowley strolls beneath, jar of Hellfire tucked under his arm.

The painted Bentley is flaking, an echo of the colorful fresco it had undoubtedly been, once upon a time. Nowadays, Heaven is pale, sterile, and sprawling. The decorations of old had likely been purged with each of Heaven’s remodelings. All, it seems, but this one here.

Crowley stops short in front of the mural. Tilting his head, he studies it, tentative fingertips tracing curling edges of paint. The Bentley is painted in hues of black that long ago faded to shadow grays. From beneath it’s wheels, brush stoked flames crawl. The pale, peeling flames encircle the vehicle, climbing in and out of the windows. The car is painted as if it is emerging from a wall of fire. And beyond that - the mural is obscured.

Eyeing the dark shelves, Crowley places his hands on cool wood. Bracing, he gives a single, solid push.

It scrapes effortlessly over marble, and the mural uncovers, inch by inch. When the wall is clear, Crowley, wiping sweaty palms on his pants, steps back.

The mural is - broken. 

Entire patches of it have worn away, a likely combination of age and neglect. 

In one corner is the flaming Bentley. Above it and slightly to the right, half of an electric scooter drives along; it’s hunched riders are ghosts, little more than pale outlines amidst peeling paint. Nearby, a boy stands, blue jacket billowing, flaking golden paint encircling his head. His small hand is raised. 

The scene is hauntingly familiar.

Narrowing his eyes, Crowley strolls along the mural, tracing his hand along rough paint. Slivers flake and fall, drifting like snow upon the marble floor.

The mural is ruined and peeling in the areas immediately surrounding the boy. Beyond the stretch of pale wall, the mural choppily resumes. Rendered in harsh strokes, a red-eyed being claws its way from brutal cracks in the earth, black mist rising. Patches of paint are worn away, and when the mural resumes, Crowley’s fingers are running over the blood mad eyes of Hell hounds, who are painted with their heads thrown back in grimacing howls. The sky above them is red.

The mural goes patchy again, but Crowley’s pretty sure he can make out the whitewashed gates of Heaven, and -  huge, clawed and pale fingers curling possessively over it’s top.

“Hm,” Crowley says, giving the clutching hand a once-over. “That doesn’t look good.”

Nearly the entirety of the remaining mural has fallen into ruin - except for a splash of paint at the end. Or, more specifically, two splashes of paint. Clear, crisp white and rich, velvety black collide in a crash of colors.

Upon closer inspection, Crowley notices that there are figures within the splashes. 

Squinting, Crowley leans in, and realizes the vaguely shaped beings within are reaching toward one another. Where their outstretched reaches touch, a rainbow of color blossoms. Beneath, nearly entirely erased by time an age, precise black lettering spells: Bilanx.

“Balance?”

What does it mean?

Before Crowley has much of a chance to consider, the room rumbles, rocking. Crowley stumbles back as scrolls, tipping from their precarious stacks, begin to tumble down around him.

Alright then. Crowley thinks, giving the mural a last fleeting look. Time to go.

Clutching the Hellfire under one arm, Crowley charges the stairs. This time they cooperate, and he’s out of the Hall of Records and back to sprinting across the atrium in moments. In the marble hallways, the lights have faded to a barely-there glow and are flickering rapidly on then off. 

Crowley takes corners at a full sprint, shoes skidding on the smooth floors.

He’s relieved when he sees Gabriel’s doors are still closed. If something had come for Aziraphale, Crowley reasons, they wouldn’t have taken the time to close the door after themselves.

Crowley flings the suite doors open.

“Angel!” he calls, striding in. “I got the-”

He stops.

The room is silent. And bare.

No, wait. Not entirely bare. A small, dark shape is curled, motionless on the couch.

Not daring to breathe, Crowley pivots, looking over the room.

“Aziraphale?”

Silence is his only answer.

He crosses the room, shoes sinking into the infuriatingly plush carpet. 

“Aziraphale? Where are you?”

Clutching the Hellfire to his chest, Crowley turns in a small circle.

The lump on the couch hasn’t moved. Lifting his glasses, Crowley squints.

“Beelzebub?”

The Lord of Hell is curled in on themselves. Beneath them, the couch is soaked in dark, stale blood. Their face, leeched of color, is partially obscured by black, matted hair.

“Shit,�� Crowley curses, hopping over the coffee table.

Gripping the demon lord’s shoulder, Crowley pulls them onto their back. They roll, limp, head lolling back.

Cursing under his breath, Crowley gives their shoulder a shake.

Nothing.

He shakes a little harder.

Still nothing.

“Oh come on! Wake up!” Crowley hisses, and gives them a rough, abrupt shake.

Chapped lips part; Beelzebub heaves a low, jagged breath.

“See? Knew you hadn’t kicked the bucket,” Crowley says, breathless, and sinks limply down on the table’s edge.

“You….have the Hellfire?” Beelzebub rasps, squinting a tired, pale eye open.

“Got it right here,” Crowley says patting the lid, “And I’ll happily use it to patch you up right as soon as you tell me where in Heaven Aziraphale-”

“Your angel left,” Beelzebub says, breath rattling between words. “We felt the...thing. And the angels started….screaming. He waited....but the screams got louder and louder….and then screams turned to pleas….and your angel begged my forgiveness,” Beelzebub adds with a dry, bloody chuckle, “then left.... to try to save them.”

Crowley surges up, jar of Hellfire loose in his grasp. 

“When? Beelzebub, how long ago did he leave?”

“...ten minutes...I’d say. For a few minutes now….it’s been silent.”

Crowley straightens. Fingers, only slightly trembling, shove his sunglasses higher on his nose. He has to go. Now.

“....you’re going to leave me, aren’t you?” Beelzebub, rasps, their pale eyes cool and discerning. “At least….leave me the Hellfire….to give me.... a fighting chance.”

Crowley can feel his pulse down to his fingers. Jaw clenched, he looks down at the jar.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Aziraphale has gone to help the angels, and is presumably facing off against whatever the thing is that has broken into heaven. Crowley has returned with the jar of Hellfire, to find Beelzebub still alive - but inching closer to death with every passing moment. Desperate to follow after Aziraphale, but with Beelzebub’s life hanging in the balance, Crowley makes the difficult decision to...

Stay just long enough to heal Beelzebub with the Hellfire. Crowley can’t stand the thought of Aziraphale facing danger without him….but as much as he wants to rush after Aziraphale, Crowley can’t ignore the feeling that leaving Beelzebub to die is wrong. He may be a demon, but he’s never been a monster.

Go after Aziraphale, but leave Beelzebub with the Hellfire so they can at least try to heal themselves. Crowley will never forgive himself if something happens to Aziraphale. He knows it is wrong to leave Beelzebub without helping them, but he is willing to be a monster, just this once, if it means potentially saving Aziraphale’s life.

Piggy-back Beelzebub and heal them on-the-go. Crowley is a demon of many talents - multi-tasking being one of them. As a firm believer that one can absolutely have their cake and eat it too, Crowley decides he will immediately go after Aziraphale WHILE healing good old Beelz. What could possibly go wrong?

Please comment or reblog to vote! :) Thanks for reading!

Part 15

[charlottemadison42]

Good Omens Fic Recs

My AO3 bookmarks are getting full, and my favorite thing is always finding stuff that deserves to be read more. Here are a few favorite fics that are apparently lesser-known, with fewer than 300 Kudos, but deserving of zillions more.* Maybe you’ll like ‘em too: Someplace You Belong by Aethelflaed -- a beautiful sad pre-Eden backstory for Aziraphale that has become headcanon (and a follow-up to the fabulous Early Days, a heartrendingly beautiful take on the first few years after Eden)

London Calling by forthegreatergood -- an interlude from the end of the Cold War that was full of characterization language/dialogue so brilliant I want to cross-stitch it and put on my wall.

The Akashic Records by PeniG -- I can’t believe this isn’t more widely read, it’s amazing work. Its lore is vast and fascinating but here and here are interesting drop-in places to get a feel for whether you’ll enjoy the whole thing.

St. George & the Demon by cheeseanonioncrisps -- Crowley the dragon versus holy bro St. George. It’s the best.

Imagine Me & You (I Do) by Marzi -- a lovely little character study I’ve returned to again & again for its interpretation of Aziraphale’s insecurities.

The Invitation to Summer by ElectraRhodes -- Crowley declares his intention to seduce Aziraphale, and he knows precisely how to go about it.

Five Hundred Ways to Discorporate a Demon by Lise -- Crowley discorporates a lot. Earth is a learning experience. This made me laugh so hard.

Stans in High Places by doomed_spectacles -- lucky for our heroes the worker bee angel reviewing their surveillance files is starting to root for them.

New Life by caricari -- A grown-up Adam POV fic that slays me with its snapshot in time beauty. Adam and Crowley with a newborn baby having serious talks in the kitchen while the reunion party goes on in the other room -- it’s so soft. This author’s Better for Snakes is also wonderful.

Sauntering Vaguely Downwards by GenericUsername01 -- my favorite take on the creation story, the fall, and Aziraphale’s origin, focusing on the archangels. It leads into the unfinished One Upon a Time (6023 Years) which is weird and wonderful, I can’t wait for more.

Clementine by Mussimm -- cottage neighbors AU with alllll the pining and ineffable idiocy.

Happy reading! *300 is a totally arbitrary threshold, just indicates they haven’t been recced yet as much as they deserve, so I’m workin’ on that!