#( did you hear that ? ) / ⭒ crack .
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Okay, so if you're into hip hop and stuff like that, you know that Kendrick and Drake are ripping each other apart right now.
I woke up to bubble messages from Chan saying that the rap beef going on these days is crazy and that he won't say what side he's on (I think he's on Kendrick's side... how could you not be?)
Anyway, I thought about how 3Racha must be talking about the rap beef, so I wrote this, and it's really just Crack but I thought it was kinda funny.
Word Count : 352
“So then he dropped a song called 6:16 in LA, and that one was crazy because-” You shake your head in confusion as you try to keep up.
“Wait who dropped that one?” Jisung sighs from across the room, and Chan smiles your way.
“Kendrick.” Chan says.
“But I thought he already put out a diss.” Changbin groans, standing behind Chan's chair across from you.
“He put out three, actually.” You furrow your brows.
“There's four now.” Changbin corrects his hyung, and Chan shakes his head.
“Right, yeah, there's four.”
“Okay wait, what.” Changbin runs his hands through his hair as he turns to Jisung.
“Get the PowerPoint.” The youngest stands and grabs his laptop.
“On it.”
“What the fuck is going on?” You're confused and Chan is the only one who finds this amusing. Jisung starts up his laptop and pulls up a very well put together PowerPoint titled ‘Why Kendrick won.’
“Hush. Chan get the lights.” Your boyfriend cuts the lamp off as he fights back a heavy laugh. “Alright, so this all started with Drake's song, First Person Shooter. It had J.Cole as a feature and -”
“J.Cole is in this too!?” Chan's doubled over in hysterics. Jisung is disappointed in you, and Changbin is ready to tape your mouth shut so that he can feed you this information.
Just as Bin is about to answer, Hyunjin walks in. He looks around at the four of you, then at the laptop screen, and sighs.
“They got you too, huh?” Your eyes meet his.
“I'm so confused.”
“It's a lot. I know, we've been in New York for a day, and they know this all by heart.” Changbin groans, clearly upset with the two of you.
“Ya'll should be quiet before Bin explodes.” Jisung warns, and Chan shakes his head, agreeing.
“Okay wait wait… How is Drake West Coast if he's from Canada?” Chan loses it, falling off of the bed while the others groan in what sounds like deep pain.
“I had the same question.” Hyunjin defends before Changbin yells.
“Drake is East coast For fucks sake!”
#I just KNOW that Jisung is listening to they songs and then pausing them like#“AYO DID YOU HEAR THAT?” 😭😭#I just know that they are huddled up listening to every drop#Chan x reader#Changbin x reader#han x reader#stray kids#skz#skz imagines#stray kids scenarios#skz x reader#skz scenarios#stray kids imagines#stray kids 3racha#3racha x reader#skz crack#stray kids crack#bang chan x reader
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This is an all too familiar scene.
This time, Jamie is the one with his arms open, holding out his hands, while the Doctor is on the brink of tears.
*bonus gifs
Their arm movements are even the same. 😢
#classic doctor who#second doctor#jamie mccrimmon#the war games#the five doctors#watching doctor who#noticing things#poor doctor#did you hear the crack in his voice#the gasp of despair#he misses his husband dearly
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personal headcanon that armin can’t hear for 6~ ish hours after coming out of his titan since his colossal doesn’t have ears
and the 104th all learn sign language together to communicate w him (and after the battle of heaven and earth will still sometimes speak in sign language to piss reiner off. annie learns it to support her bf and to communicate nonverbally and pieck simply does not gaf)
#armin arlert#aot#aot headcanons#aruani#reiner braun#104th learns sign language because they love armin!!! and he loves them!!#i also feel like annie would fuck HEAVY with sign language#and also as her dad gets older he loses his hearing and so she and armin can communicate w him too#i don’t think they have hearing aids in the aot world yet#connie is like “guys you WONT believe what i saw someone do at the ambassador meeting today#then he signs something#jean is GAGGED and armin can’t stop laughing and even annie cracks a smile#and reiner is sitting there like what connie. what did u see. what is so fuckin funny
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my research partner and i are huddled in a blanket in paddington waiting for a too-late train i already miss you and you and you
#he keeps falling asleep almost on my shoulder and waking up and readjusting but i want to tell him its ok weve seen a lot#of each other ive seen your brainwaves you called me crying a few nights ago. research partner right now is a potentiality#friend is a certainty. i met a banker passionate about finance. he said his advice made the lives of others better and he likes the numbers#more than he likes anything else. on a high rise near canary wharf the view was wonderful and the people even moreso#he said i loved her but i spent 33 grand on her and i cant do this anymore. his voice cracked talking about her. he did love her.#and she talked softly she grabbed my hand she bought me a pack of Marlborough gold she told me to snap#the russian menthol cigarettes of the tortured polish man near us with my teeth i kept staring at her teeth#bright white and sharp. i couldnt find her heartbeat but i did find warmth and i did find her lips and i did feel#how she felt pressed against a wall. a pretty boy held my hand and i gave him my number. i couldnt stop smiling about her no matter#how many runways youve walked on how many collections youve designed how many students youve taught. senior lecturer teaches me how to do#very unethical things ethically over a double shot of vodka made by the half-persian with broken farsi. she talks softly#and she says her eyes are hazel but they appear a shade of red. pure gold on her hands and leather on her back and her fingers on my lips#(she talks softly sees through me she says something i cant hear but i wont forget the way she flies) she talked to my research partner#about the possibility of moving to sunny dubai with the rest of her family and my heart felt pierced. on her arm i traces a tattoo of a#knife passing through a rose. she told me she thought there was romance in severing so i kissed her some more.#he sat me down and asked me what i loved and i told him and he said no romance no person no tragedy will take that from you.#the room was filled with a collection of people in love with something that wasnt a person and i kept looking at her.#red eyes bitten jawline beautiful hands. it is 3 degrees Celsius my head is on his shoulder i miss my friends#we walked out the lecture hall with arms linked a photo of two years ago and we both said#jesus christ. i miss you all. and i miss logic metatheory lectures. im glad i get to stare at the depth of your eyes#i wish i had met you years ago.#crushposting
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I’ve seen somewhere of a headcanon that alastor has deer sight and is color blind to the two colors that are most known on him, which are red and green.
This is funny to me, but what do you think?
Well, that sounds probably very unlikely for Alastor LOL, but it would indeed be funny!
#did you guys hear about the theory that husk is neutered#cause i found out about that today and it cracked me up#hazbin hotel#alastor#ask
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complicated relationship with taob be damned i have never peaked higher than i did when i was studying tragedies for my english class and wrote the fever dream chapter
#I WAS WRITING AT LEVELS NEVER BEFORE SEEN. OFF THE CHARTS CUNTISM. TRAGIC LEXICON LEFT RIGHT AND CENTRE#'you scream with your lungs and you pray with your knees. but begging?#begging was in the hands. zuko's were empty. stained sunset red. /look. look at what you did/.'#'white bones charring until zuko remembered hearing of fortune-tellers - how they read the heat-cracks#of oracle bones. zuko wondered what the breaks in his skeleton lamented of. if he could read these scars#would they weep? /look. look at all that red/.'#'/look. cut-neck and red-stained. you wanted this/. the auditorium watched enraptured#whispering into ears. /this is the best part. the anagnorisis/.'#'this was a tale of honour and redemption. the playwright had woven zuko’s hamartia into his every action#doomed from the beginning. /you always thought it was anger that would damn you#that patronymic fury that snarls in your chest/. the director was grinning. /it is not. your fatal flaw has always been shame/.'#'redemption comes with the price of regret but you don't regret. you don't regret any of it'#'A GOOD TRAGEDY NEEDS A SCAPEGOAT; A TRAGIC HERO. ZUKO WOULD BE THEIRS. A MASK. A BOW. APPLAUSE. FURY. SHAME.#/LOOK/. THE THING WITH THEATRE IS THAT YOU PLACE A CHARACTER ONTO A STAGE WHERE EVERYONE CAN SEE HIM#AND YOU SHINE LIGHTS ON HIM TO ILLUMINATE EVERY ANGLE AND YOU MAKE HIM SAY THINGS THAT RESONATE. A TRAGEDY IS JUST A DECLARATION#/LOOK. LOOK AT ALL IVE DONE AND GIVE ME REDEMPTION REGARDLESS. LOOK AT EVERY FLAW. TAKE ME AS YOUR ANTI-HERO. FORGIVE ME ANYWAY/#IT WAS ABOUT BEING SEEN. IT WAS A CRY FOR HELP'#like???? GIRL OKAYYYYYY <33333 truly give me a theme i like and i will run fucking RINGS#taob
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"Are you... mentally well?"
Isabeau who has the best theme(s) in all of SMT IV full of... if you know, you know. It goes hard and it's always painful.
#Did You Hear The Rumors? ; Dash Commentary#test muse: Isabeau#Is That Legal? ; Crack#no one knows she is and please don't look it up there might be spoilers BUT.#Listen SMT IV's OST goes so fucking hard
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I know this is nonsensical but hear me out:
Andrew who for a time lived with a bitchy, alcoholic, wannabe designer named Sandra who used to watch Projet Runway religiously and actually got into fashion a bit.
He always dreamt of having his own pretty clothes and not the stupid hand-me-downs he usually got, designing dresses alongside Sandra whenever she was happy enough to let him close to her sewing machine, making little jackets out of scraps for himself and the other kids on the house. He eventually learns how to do dresses and skirts and gifts them to the little girls on the house.
He leaves, eventually, because that's what always happens, but Sandra throws him a pack of needles and thread before he does. She hits him right on the left eye, eyes still glued to the TV.
He starts mending clothes for five bucks in the new houses. He knows how to work a seam, fix buttons, tighten and loosen fabric to fit himself and others better. He's always up at midnight clumsily changing zippers and threading holes. He always gets paid, of course, but he starts to love the feeling of being useful. When a younger kid can't pay him, he takes candy and stolen cigarettes as a substitute.
Then he's with Tilda. Then, she's dead. Then, he has money.
Surely, you see an all-black blob and assume he's not the most fashionable guy ever. But Andrew can spend hours shopping, going through options, because he finally can. He buys enough pairs of boots to be considered greedy, he buys clothes for Kevin (loves using him as a Barbie doll! Kevin is used to endless fittings and hates taking decisions! They're a perfect duo) . He buys clothes for Neil, he doesn't buy anything for Nicky or Aaron because Nicky is a walking rainbow and Aaron absolutely sucks as a customer (BOOOO!)
But the monsters have never gone to sleep without a button and woke up to find it still missing. He promised to protect them, it's part of the deal. He fixes Kevin's loved tshirt (it has a stupid, niche history joke of Henry the 8th), he fixes Nicky's "say hey if your gay" jacket, he fixes Aaron's stupid jeans and he refused to fix Neil's raggedy shirts, but he does, eventually, cut them up and make them into a quilt.
JUST, HEAR ME OUT. ANDREW IS ALL ABOUT TRYING TO FIX OTHER'S PEOPLE'S PROBLEMAS. HE WANTS TO BE USEFUL. ANDREW HAVING A "FEMININE" HOBBY. ANDREW CREATING AND CHANGING AKD ARGGGGGHHH
#I'm going absolutely crazy#aftg#andrew aftg#andrew minyard#aftg hc#also imagine him hearing allison bitvh about fashion and agreeing just to fuck with her#allison: “renee. baby. sweetie. i love you. but you will NOT walk out of this building with a round neckline. IT'S A FASHION CRIME”#andrew who was swallowing a gallon of ice cream on the couch: “hey joan of exy; why don't you try a sweetheart one?”#Allison; wiping her head so fast that her neck literally cracked: “WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?? i agree but WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY????”
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Every-time I hear:
“Fire and Ice”
I used to think of New Girl and hear WARM WATER BABY … but now I heavily associate “Fire and Ice” with Throne of Glass
— cause Rowan & Aelin LITERALLY ARE —
… & cause the thought of them doing this “bit” to get in somewhere undercover has me cackling cause (somehow it’s so in character?)?
#New Girl#Winston and Coach#Winston Bishop#Coach#Rowan Whitethorn#Aelin Ashryver Galathynius#Celaena Sardothien#rowaelin#Rowan and Aelin#Celaena and Rowan#Maasverse#HoF#Heir of Fire#TOG#throne of glass#crossover#fandom crack#SJM#comedy#Throne of Glass humor#TOG humor#if Taylor swift can crossover then we can too lol iykyk#wait why did I just hear Lana#oh if you know you know IS THAT WHAT SHE MEANT#chaotic tag rambles and nonsensical thoughts#sentences you can hear#fire and ice#we met prince episode#what I imagine them doing with the fae diplomats while training or bored#it’s giving clone wars interrogation air quotes vibes
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Still ABSOLUTELY TORN UP about the whole Sazz thing, but y'all, it occured to me this week that we get to see what Sazz's life was like. My GOD. I am SO EXCITED. Omitb has a bad (good) habit of making the victims so sad and lonely and while I imagine that may be a thing for Sazz I am HOPING Sazz's life is fucking WILDIN. I HOPE WE GET FLASHBACKS OF HER BEING A BAMF. BABES ALL OVER THE PLACE. HAVING A GOOD TIME GROCERY SHOPPING. PLEASE. HOLY HELL.
#dani speaks#SELENA AND THE MARTINS TURN ON YOUR LOCATION I JUST WANT TO TALK#omitb#omitb spoilers#sorta#idk man. sazz is so cool. i can't wait to see what her life was like#calling it now: scott backula did it#that's my crack theroy >:)#why is that dani?#i hear you! listen! joy's text to charles about him saying hi was odd#and then sazz#WHO LOOKS LIKE CHARLES BC. YKNOW. STUNT DOUBLE.#goes INTO HIS APARTMENT AND GETS SHOT ABOUT IT#crazy fish ladies y'all#(i am mostly kidding)
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Best U2 song to which to run from each album
@footnoteinhistory
Boy: "I Will Follow" or "The Electric Co." also sort of the whole album
October: "Gloria" or "With A Shout"
War: "The Refugee" or "Like a Song..."
The Unforgettable Fire: "A Sort of Homecoming" or "Indian Summer Sky"
The Joshua Tree: "Where the Streets Have No Name" or "Exit"
Rattle and Hum: "God Part II" or "Silver and Gold"
Achtung Baby: "Zoo Station" or "The Fly" but also pretty much the whole album
Zooropa: "Lemon" or "Zooropa," honorable mention for "the Wanderer" specifically for a brisk cooldown walk
Pop: "Discotheque" or "Please"
All That You Can't Leave Behind: "Elevation" or "Beautiful Day"
How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb: "Vertigo" or "City of Blinding Lights"
No Line on the Horizon: "No Line on the Horizon" or "Breathe"
Songs of Innocence: "The Miracle of Joey Ramone" or "This is Where You Can Reach Me Now"
Songs of Experience: "American Soul" or "The Showman"
#DON'T BELIEVE IN COCAINE GOT A SPEEDBALL IN MY HAND#I COULD CUT AND CRACK YOU OPEN#DID YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID?!#DON'T BELIEVE THEM WHEN THEY TELL ME THERE AIN'T NO CURE#THE RICH STAY HEALTHY#THE SICK STAY POOR#the main criteria is BPM#other criteria include 'energy' and how much the song actually sounds like running#I also considered how long it takes the song to 'get going'#God I miss running#I need to get another pair of shoes and ease back into it
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rereading my lesbian goncharov fic like I spelled fairytale as fairytail but I also dropped some HARD FUCKING LINES. what the fuck
#the poison in you is the poison in me and when I look at you I know everything I need to know about God#WHAT THE FUCKKKK#katya was plunged back into the same muffled haze she’d lived in for the past ten years#hearing a song from long ago but forever living outside of it. light streamed in through the crack beneath the door#but it did not reach her.#AUGHHHHH#this fic was a JOKEEEEE#goncharov
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lucanis: Harding, you’re from Fereldan, right?
harding: is this the start of a turnip joke?
lucanis, genuinely taken aback: No. Everybody likes turnips
#I don’t know if the comedy translates without hearing it#but that line read cracked me up man why did you say that#he just SAYS things sometimes#this was in my drafts from last night and it's STILL making me laugh why did he say that#datv spoilers#rosie plays games kinda okay#that dragon sure does age#also sorry you all get my every single unmitigated thought as i play this game it is tragically just how i work
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man i don't fuckin want to go to the dentist today
#as like doctor-adjacent things go the dentist doesn't actually bother me that much it's more of like an annoyance than anything#gonna walk like 5 blocks just to have an old lady poke at my gums until they bleed and tell me i don't floss enough#even though i DO floss i just have sensitive gums#can't wait to hear what they're gonna tell me about the shit-ass retainers they gave me too#i already had to replace the top one because it cracked and now the bottom one has HOLES IN IT from#and i shit you not#just me brushing it#with my soft bristle toothbrush#but i'm sure that's my fault i'm sure i did that wrong too#ugh
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It's amazing how quickly you can make someone turn on your company by making a stupid and insulting move
Force me to go through the front door and scan my card when I have backdoor business that never needed a card before (what? ...I was going to somehow... sneak in and... purchase things with a borrowed card? ...which I totally can't do from the front door after scanning it?)
Or like... twitterify your layout right after your users give you a bunch of money just cause they like you, and then refuse to walk it back
...or all the other things companies do that just kinda piss people off and then they refuse to acknowledge maybe it sucks and is stupid cause "hey, the customers didn't leave"... yeah... yet
#legit; as small as it is it gives me a hint at the direction things will head and that costco will get more and more anti consumer#and I'm in minutes going from an 'I love costco; it's how I afford to eat; go get a cheap pizza'#to 'you know costco is kinda frustrating and annoying and I don't trust their ceo... I'm not sure if it's worth your time and money'#like look back and; tumblr search willing; you'll find posts of me singing costco's praises; literal free advertising#cause while it's not right for everyone; man is it so much cheaper than places like walmart#but... I legit don't know if I can recommend it anymore#for one thing; when I signed up I just spotted the members desk; walked in the backdoor up to the desk; and gave them money#now... what? you gotta ask permission? I feel like there's a chilling effect on wanting to join... at least for my socially anxious ass#and again; I just whiff this as like when games companies add DRM that breaks the game... for people who actually pay for it#they're making me suffer a pain in the ass for no reason cause someone might not be giving them money#and now that person never will give them money... and frankly... if they don't pay the membership but spend $500 how much did you lose?#but like I said; I feel it in the air; that costco will start doing more and more anti consumer stuff#...do I think it's a good idea to join up when they're gonna slowly start turning this corner?#I mentioned that quote by the founder about killing them if they raise the price of the hotdog#but... the fact the founder felt the need to say that to begin with told me something#kinda gotten the impression that the ceo is greedy as hell and wants to drain the consumer (so... a normal ceo)#and this just smacks of netflix/disney#oh... did you hear about disney killing someone with a food allergy despite being told about it multiple times like when the dish arrived?#and now disney is trying to forced arbitrate cause they had a disney+ trial in 2019#you hear about that one? cause that's a real news story; I'll find you an article if you don't believe it#anyway; this smacks of cracking down on password sharing to make up for hypothetical lost revenue#and let me tell you... if I could switch to pirating my groceries I would; I would download eggs#so this doesn't change costco fundamentally; but it does make it feel more hostile and like it doesn't trust me#it makes things feel more adversarial instead of like a partnership where they get me good prices on good things and I give money#and I just wouldn't be surprised if they start doing more things I don't like#things that make things worse... things like raising prices to increase their profit#...makes me want to... work on figuring out how to make everything myself since no company is trustworthy#they'll all turn on you in the end; the moment the wrong person takes charge they'll start to metastasis#towards the cancer of infinite profits#not saying don't go to costco... I'm saying don't get attached if you do; I think they're ready to do what every company does these days
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90% of nonfloridians need to be told that their jokes about florida are unoriginal, done to death, and unfunny. God bless.
#I hear the same three jokes over and over and over and over#wooooooooow did you come up with that florida man joke all on your own? I’ve surely never heard it before in my entire life!#Has anyone ever told you that you’re soooofunny and so much smarter and better than the crackers & rednecks & jits down in stinky ole FL?#Idk. You get what I mean. At a certain point it just gets old#9 times outta 10 the only people who know how to crack a funny joke about florida are Floridians themselves#Bandit.txt
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