#'youre very pretty. just thought you should know'
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milktiicup · 2 days ago
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are you afraid of me?
what the hell type of name is "mr. crawling" if he can fucking walk?
‧₊ ᵎᵎ 🍒 ⋅ ˚✮ based on the hc that mr crawling doesn't stand so he doesn't scare mc.
warnings. just fluff/comfort, some spoilers for end04 and end17
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Mr. Crawling is kind.
Mr. Crawling is sweet.
Mr. Crawling is a complete mystery to you.
Other than his complete and instant devotion to you, you know almost nothing about him. Not that you’re complaining; since escaping the other world with him in tow, he’s been a pretty decent roommate.
He doesn’t have many hobbies, unless staring at you from across the room counts. The only mess he leaves is long, black hairs that snake along the shower walls and more often than not clog the drain. He doesn’t even eat your food—something you discovered after a week of trial and error, setting out everything from leftovers to raw steak in the hopes of figuring out what a creature like him might like. As it turns out, he isn’t much of an eater, and he refuses to wear anything but the clothes he crossed over in, so at least you didn’t need to buy him new clothes. He’s low-maintenance in those areas, thankfully, and your paycheck doesn’t take a huge hit. 
Still, as close as you are, and as much as you’ve grown fond of him, you know nothing about who or what he truly is. Can he stand? Does he even have eyeballs? You know he can see, somehow, but how? Does he have teeth? You’re not even sure there’s a word for teeth in his language… Would he need a dentist? As most of your Mr. Crawling mouth knowledge went, you knew he had a tongue. 
The days pass, you fall into routines, and so do your questions.
“Crawling,” you had said one night, settled up on the sofa after a long day at work.  “Why can’t you stand?”
Mr. Crawling looks up from the screen, his wide smile faltering as he absorbs your question. His hair falls across his face, hiding whatever might be behind those red blotches he has for eyes.
“Me… not able to stand,” he replies, waving abnormally long limbs. “Arms good!” He seems proud, at least. 
You purse your lips out in thought- sure, he had those spindly legs, but it wasn’t like he couldn’t use them. You witnessed first hand the way he kicks his legs about under the blanket, unsettling cracks of his joints. Or when he sits up on his knees to fetch something on the counter top that he couldn’t reach from the floor. 
“You want me stand?”
“No, Crawling, I like you like this.” And you finished the conversation with a few pats on his head, and he nuzzled into your knee as if he was a pet. 
“You like me?”
You nod.
“Me like you!”
Low maintenance in the roommate department, high maintenance in the boyfriend? department.
You settle into bed that night after serving Mr Crawling his completely normal human soup that you definitely obtained by very legal and moral ways. Although, he didn’t seem very hungry that night, and you decided to just keep it for later. You debated on leaving it out in case he got hungry during the night when you were asleep, but seeing as to what the contents were, you weren’t up for it to stink out your kitchen. Back in the fridge it went!
“Rest?” he asks from the doorway of your bedroom, eyeless staring as you settle on the mattress. 
“I rest. You rest?” You pat the spot beside you. 
“Me watch you.”
Whatta guy… You wait for him to join you before you pull the blanket to your chin. And just like every other night, Mr. Crawling wraps his long arms around you, joints cracking as he stretches his legs out on the blanket- his feet hang off the bed. His hair tickles every exposed inch of your skin, but you don’t mind. You’ve gotten used to it at this point- maybe you should teach him to brush his own hair though?
His touch is cool, like air from a drafty window, and you relax under his delicate, careful pats on your head. It’s not long before you drift off.
It’s rare that you wake up in the dead of night. It’s rarer when you wake up to him not in the same position you fell asleep in. Groggy, you reach an arm out to the other side of the bed and hit the space where Mr. Crawling should have been. It’s still warm, however, and you sit up and rub your eyes. He’s not here.
What the hell? That wasn’t like him.
You slip into your slippers and shuffle toward the kitchen. The house is dark and still, except for a faint rustling. When your vision adjusts, you stop in your tracks. You were pretty sure your heart stopped for a second, too. 
He hadn’t noticed you yet, which is unlike him. 
“C-Crawling?” you stammer. 
Mr. Crawling is there, long arms in your fridge, but he isn’t small and folded like usual. He’s… standing. You blink, barely processing the sight. He has to be at least eight feet tall, maybe more, his head brushing the ceiling. His towering shadow spills over the walls, unsettling even to someone like you.
He freezes, letting out a startled squeak you’ve never heard before. His head whips toward you, and his hair falls in a curtain over his face. He drops to his knees instantly, scrambling across the floor to you with long, frantic arms. He tackles you into an overzealous hug, the kind you usually get only when you come home from work.
“You awake!”
You blink down at him. “I thought you said you couldn’t stand?” you murmur, still dazed. He lied? Why would he lie? Is there even a word for lie in his language?
His hair fans at your face, elbows propping himself up on top of you. Mr. Crawling tilts his head at you, and you wrack your brain in this stupid monster language that you just can’t perfectly adjust to yet.
“Uhm… You stand good?” you manage to fumble the words out. You stand good. That just sounds ridiculous. “Legs work?”
Mr. Crawling lets you sit up, grey hands cupping your face. He seems… off. Sad? Worried? You’ve only seen him not smiling a few times- and that was when you first met him- when he scared the absolute daylights off of you, when that man in red with the umbrella appeared… There was also that time you collapsed, and that creepy, eyeless nurse showed up.
“You scared me?” he asks, his tone soft.
Are you scared of me? 
“You don’t stand because you think you’ll scare me?” you mumble, hands holding onto his wrists. “Erm… Not stand… me scared?” 
“Me scary… You not like me.” His head hangs and Mr. Crawling’s hair touches the floor and licks at your legs.. His gentle hold of your face loosens.
He doesn’t stand at his full height because he’s afraid he’ll scare you? God. How can a ghost be such a sweetheart?
“Hey,” you whisper, pulling his hands off your face. You wrap your arms around his neck, tilting your head so you can see where his eyes should be. “You’re cute. Very big, yes—I was just surprised.”
“You… not scared?” His voice is uncertain.
You giggle, squeezing him tighter. “No. Just surprised.” He doesn’t understand you- and you need to wrack every shelf in your brain to get the words out. “Me surprised… you very cute.”
There’s a beat of silence as he absorbs your words. “Me cute?” he repeats, as if it’s the greatest revelation in the world.
“Very cute,” you confirm, unable to help laughing as he tackles you once again to the floor, hair scattering everywhere as he nuzzles into your chest, murmuring, “Me cute, me cute,” in a gleeful mantra. You pat his head, and he flops onto the floor beside you with a giggle.
You stare at him, illuminated by the extremely romantic light of the fridge. “Hungry?” you ask, and push some of his hair away from his face- he grabs your wrist before you get any closer to his eyes, though.
“Want eat… you rest.”
You shake your head, stifling a yawn. “I’ll wait for you. I… erm… rest with you?” You cringe, knowing you said it wrong. You’re at least seventy percent sure you said it wrong. Maybe it’s time to teach him your language.
Mr. Crawling lets out his normal unsettling giggles, a sound that cuts through the silence of the house.
You don’t bother getting his tomato soup out of the fridge like you usually do, and take a seat at the table. He looks lost for a split second, and giggles once more as he rises to his feet. You let out a few appreciative oohs and ahhs he reaches his full height. You’re still a bit shocked at how his head almost touches the ceiling.
He settles into his usual seat across from you, knees folded as best as they can be under the table, his feet brushing against your legs.
It’s like a lightbulb appears above your head.
What the hell type of name is “Mr. Crawling” if he can fucking walk? 
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rinnstars · 3 days ago
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jealousy jealousy!
when hes just a little (very) jealous of someone else
bllk boys (nagi, rin, reo) x reader: insecurities, fluff!!!!!!!, established r/s except for rin (but you two get into one by the end!), nagis part was deleted and rewritten TT, not proof read + likes n reblog r appreciated <3
nagi seishiro:
“eh… you cleared this level already…? i thought you were struggling with it..?” nagi’s voice muffled against the pile of blankets his face was smushed in, looking up at you confusedly from your phone, displaying the game level cleared.
its not that he doesnt believe you cleared it all by yourself, if anything youre pretty good at this game despite only playing it for him. its simply because you were complaining on call with him about it, and all of the sudden youve finished it? he doesnt quite believe it, hes gone through that level too and he knows its pretty challenging, taking a little more energy than it really should have even for nagi himself.
“ah.. my seatmate cleared it for me this morning when he saw me playing it!” its strange: your bright voice always wakes him up a little, bringing light into his otherwise dull and boring life. yet this time, he feels his heart pang a little.
its troublesome. he doesnt like feeling this way: his heart tightens at your words, he unconsciously grips your phone a little, only realising when the screen protector cuts him a little, and he feels as though hes getting all fired up strangely the same way he gets on the field. if anything, nagi doesnt even know who this mysterious seat partner is, and he sure doesnt want to know: its troublesome to socialise with others after all. and yet, if there’s anything he’s now set on doing as though his life depends on it, as though your relationship with him depends on it, as though his ego depends completely on this: he wants to confront this guy and challenge him in an actual game competition. he knows he’ll win, he has spent his entire life in bed playing mobile game or spending late hours of the night on grinding back to immortal on different variety of games from valorant to league of legends to overwatch. he’s covered his grounds he thinks, that maybe all those time wasn’t wasted at all other than the fact that you weren’t with him during those time: lending him your lap to lie down on when he plays his switch or phone, lending him your support when you sit on his lap on his chair squirming to keep it a challenge to win and carry his team still, even more lending him your accounts when he plays with you, helping carry you in any game you want or even just building your islands together on animal crossing or minecraft on more chill days.
nagi doesn’t get it - really, its the same ego that drives him in football, not wanting to lose. his eyes flicker with sudden fire and intensity that only burns whenever he plays games with you: whether that be when you die in a pvp game and him immediately straightening his back to avenge you, earning aces for rounds straight until the screen flashes with victory, or when someone talks bad about you in the voice channel and is immediately reacted with nagi’s voice that defends your honour as if he’s your knight in shining armour, or even simply the way his hands click on the mouse quickly whenever he sees a zombie go near you in the dark cave whilst playing something as chill as minecraft. if anything, nagi think it might just apply to real life too: his hands tugging at yours as though on instinct in record speed when you trip on another branch to prevent you from falling, his glare at others whenever they bother you too much that is visible through the awkward smile you give and your hands finding its way to fiddle with his shirt.
and the same ego is clear to him now: he doesn’t want anyone else to be yours, he wants to be the only one to help you. selfish maybe, but he’ll deliver - the way he tracks your figure in the map from valorant to minecraft to even genshin, the way he fights to protect you from the enemies, his hands animatedly clicking at his mouse and the other navigating his keyboard all at the same time in order to garner the best and most successful result that he knows will get you to smile oh so brightly that makes his heart pound, or even the way he charges his old switch just to help you play animal crossing on his own account, maintaining your village and neglecting his all to make a cute little house for you inspired by your pinterest board even though it takes him all night.
and to you, its clear: he’s upset at what you’ve done with the way he deflates even more than he already is. and it clicks. a routine and cycle you’ve unintentionally broken - you complaining about a level or rank you can’t get out of, he’ll listen and ask you about it the next day when youre back at his house, and he’ll fix it just as he always down: an unspoken agreement really.
“sorry sei… i still can’t clear the next level.. help me seiiii…” and suddenly he’s back lying right on your pillowy thighs: the way his eyes that was just seconds ago filled with intensity that you think simply doesn’t fit his face closes with comfort as you massage his scalp again with his fingers, the way his face smushes against your thighs comfortably rather than the weird feeling of him hovering on your thigh as though he wanted to get up, the way his hands no longer grip your phone tightly and instead holds your hand, fitting it right in perfectly.
“kay… its not bothersome with you..” he says, a confession of love from himself. he’ll never find it annoying if its you: he thinks he would play the dinosaur game from having no internet for hours on end if you liked watching him play it, he thinks he’d fight against the same boss for even days straight if you said you needed the materials for it for your character, and he knows he will most definitely help you finish any level you can’t. and something he wont say, a quiet confession springs in his mind: he loves you and most definitely he loves to play for you. and based on you willingly passing him your phone, maybe, just maybe, he wont give in to his impulses and actually find that guy - only shooting daggers at him that sends a shiver down his spine when he waits outside your class for you to release after school.
rin itoshi:
its not the first time rin felt this pang in his chest: he felt it when his older brother kicks the ball to any other member of the football team to shoot for the goal, he felt it when his teammates seems to be able to shoot he ball even more accurately than he does, he felt it when his brother praised yoichi instead of him. he’s always regarded that feeling as something football related: he’s never felt too much emotions outside of his passion and hobbies either way - but lately, he thinks he feels it a lot whenever he’s with you. perhaps, the seed from before blue lock has started blooming: the day you boarded the bus with him to the facility that was hours away from yours and his house that made his cheeks stain with pink as he sits right beside you, eating the filling breakfast you made for him, beaming at him so brightly as you wave him goodbye that makes him hesitate for the first time in his life.
and right now, he doesn’t get it. its not like there’s a lack of chocolates at his desk, if anything its quite the opposite. there’s practically a mountain of chocolates of different variety that would surely fulfill his secret sweet tooth - from dark chocolate in a heart shape mold bought from a fancy shop, from milk chocolates in squares sprinkled with heart shaped sweet bits on top, or even strawberries dipped in white chocolate. and yet, if looks could kill, that guy who’s holding YOUR chocolate box would have died, guts spilled right on the classroom door like those cliche horror games he plays. rin doesn’t get it: its not as if youre close witht that guy,youre his seat partner for all the years you’ve spent together since kindergarten, and he’s sure that that guys no one special right? and its out of character when rin thinks harder about a nobody in his class: do you like band kids like that lame guy? (he did learn the guitar for fun when he was younger, should bring it out from under his bed again?) do you like guys who are a little better at math? (maybe he should study for this weeks math quiz he thinks) or do you like guys who have leadership roles? (he’ll ask to be captain of the football team, its obvious anyways, he’s the best in this dull football club in his school)
usually, when he feels this same pang in his chest, he ignores it, keep mum about it and just work harder instead until the glass shards leave his heart - and yet he can’t do that strangely despite the routine between you two staying: where you and him sit together at the back of the class, playing your phone at the back oops the class unbeknownst to the teacher, giggling and whispering about whatever, your feet kicking his occasionally from the lack of distance that makes his face a little pink. yet, here he is eyeing that last chocolate underneath your table, its unlike the others he noted - unlike the mini chocolate cup you passed to that guy who he wishes to punch simply because of the smug smirk that was plastered on his face, unlike the small chocolate bars you presented to the other girls in the class, and even more special definitely from the chocolate candies you sneak into both his and yours mouth during class. its heart-shaped, reminiscent of the other chocolate now angrily thrown into one plastic bag that he plans to eat whilst crying about this the second he reaches home, a ribbon tied messily clearly with much effort too, and even pasted mini heart papers.
and its not until recess when youre alone with rin in class as per routine, everyone leaving for lunch does he do something about it for the first time in his life about this nagging and tugging feeling that makes him feel like a little kid again. and it just might have been the universe way of telling the two of you how connected you two are: as you struggle to find the courage to give him the slightly burnt chocolate brownies inside the heart shaped box.
“i.. like you.” “f-for you rin..!”
its simultaneous, at the exact same time, where the clock struck 1:00pm.
the confession he’s kept all these years, since the first day he’s met you at kindergarten where you two practically were fixed at the hips ever since: seat partners since primary school all the way up until now where youre both now seventeen and about to go to university and him to become a professional football player soon. ten years - ten years of looking at you as if he’s so far away when youre with anyone but him as he feels the friendship bracelet around his wrist for reassurance, ten years of writing confession letters after confession letters and poetries only to rip them all apart, yelling into his pillow and kicking his feet like a maiden in love, ten years of looking at you pass chocolates every single time during valentines except to him. its unlike rin, he’s never been good at expressing himself, believing in action over words - the way he carries your files and extra bags after school, the way he always listens and remembers what you say and even buy things you’ve mentioned offhandedly with his own pocket money, the way he never hesitates to carry you back home even when his leg is all jelly from football practice that he doesn’t tell you.
and its the same for you. the valentine gift you’ve made for him all these years: spanning from chocolate chip cookies you’ve made, to macrons you bought for him from his favourite bakery, or even his favourite blueberry pie your mother bought you - and yet all left underneath the table, secretly placed back in your bag for you to eat it whilst crying about your cowardice. and you hate it: these ten years of watching him carry a plastic bag full of physical confessions without any interest, leaving a bitter taste in your mouth even when youre staying over and opening a pack of these chocolates when you’re hungry, these ten years of looking bitterly at the friendship bracelet that is nothing more than a bitter reminder of how you’ll never be more because of your own cowardice, these ten years of looking at rin accept everyone’s chocolates but yours.
and for the first time in years, rin thinks it’s just right - when he places his lips on yours, melting into this sweet kiss with the brownie in his mouth. and he thinks you might just taste sweeter than the brownie melting between the two of yours mouth.
reo mikage:
he doesn’t get this tight feeling wrapping like thorns around his heart - seeing you so close with a classmate, smiling as he seems to be teaching you something through the windows of your classroom. it’s clearly not the exhaustion from climbing all the way from his class at the first level to yours at the fourth with this being the millionth time hes done this like a instinct every time the bell rings, its not the way your hands seems to linger so close to his practically touching someone’s else hands that gets reo sweating cold beads of sweat down his neck, and its not jealousy at how someone else might just be better than him. realistically he knows, you’re probably just having difficulties in your academics, a normal human thing but he can’t help the bitter bile that rises to his mouth - he can teach you too evident from the library dates where he helps you go through your homework and teach you the same concepts like hes made for it and hes definitely better than that classmate right? hes smarter, he tops the class every single exam without fail with his name always plastered on the results sheet as number one, he’s much more charming he would like to believe with your smile always reaching your eyes that he adores, and he’s much more useful with the way he can teach you whilst helping you with other things like while buying you food on his phone, fixing your broken pens, or something. he swallows the bitter bile, walking into the practically empty class with just you and that.. classmate, scruntising his every detail in his mind all whilst putting on the charming facade hes too used to having on - one that you can tell by the furrowing of your eyebrows at him as he grabs a chair and slides it beside you as though looking at your homework.
“haven’t i taught you this before?” its petty, he knows, its quite literally a new chapter, one that he knows your class just started on. but he thinks it does the job when he sees your classmate suddenly feel uncomfortable - perhaps its the tone of his voice that underlies irritation clearly meant for him, perhaps its the subtle passive aggressive smile aimed at him, or perhaps its the intimidation of having reo mikage right next to you clearly upset with you. he doesn’t really enjoy the title placed on him, if anything sometimes he loathes the reputation that comes with his family name, with people looking at him as only that and never as reo - but just this time does he thank the stars for his luck.
“huh?” he can tell, youre confused, and he thinks youre just so oblivious or maybe hes just weirdly jealous of something so insignificant that even your brain can’t comprehend him at all. but he doesn’t mind it as he glanced sideways at your classmate - awkwardly and quickly packing his bag, leaving just you and reo sitting at your desk.
and its awkward silence, with him looking at your homework that he just received just an hour ago and hasn’t started on too, and you looking confused at him. its not unfamiliar to see reo in your class, its practically routine at this point, except he usually just stands outside until youre done with packing your bag, taking it right from your hands the second you step out of your class.
“so.. who was that?” he cant help the way his voice suddenly sounds so soft, as though its about to crack, as if hes about to cry. he tries to clear his throat to even it out, and even so, he definitely sounded a little too out of character - out of character for how he presents himself: nothing short of perfect. and he knows youve caught it, the cats out of the bag, when he sees the sides of your mouth tug up a little as you zip your bag.
“just a classmate reo really…” your voice a little teasing, looking at him knowingly, as his hands tug at your bag, slinging it around his right shoulder where it should belong. and he thinks its alright: the way you ruffle his hair that feels just so right that he leans in even closer and even bends down a little like a dog desperate for a pat, the way you beam at him that he knows is meant only for him that shifts the rest of your class to be nothing more than just a blur, the way your bag fits snugly on his shoulder as it was meant to be.
“yeah? it better be!~” he chirps, jealousy no longer gripping onto him like a chain tugging at his neck, reminiscent of the feeling he feels in his stuffy and restrictive home. and he knows it’ll be that way until the end of time: the way your hands tugs at his tightly as though you never want to let go either, the way you look at him as though he’s your entire world, the way you understand him even through a few words. soulmates, maybe, and perhaps he has no reasons to ever feel this bitter feeling that burns his throat.
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demaparbat-hp · 4 hours ago
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Hiya!! 👋🏼😄 How's it going? Your fashion taste for Zuko in a Modern AU seems to be artsy, or maybe "formal" is the word. That shirt he wore when he gave Sokka romantic song advice looked Versace🧐. Anyway, I was wondering how you came up with it, he always struck me more as the type that didn´t care much about fashion, so I'm curious about other´s opinions and heacanons about it. And do you have any other fashion headcanons for the rest of the GAang? Also, their music tastes. How did you come up with them? Especially Katara's! 😍
Hello! As it happens, I have a lot of Thoughts and Feelings™ about this, so I'm leaving these over here, and the rest of my ramblings down below the cut!
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Let us begin with the Gaang, shall we?
SUKI always struck me as that Pretty Girl from the Gym. She is so incredibly fit it isn't even funny. She could kick anyone's ass, and we'd all thank her. She has this casual gym style that somehow always looks glorious on her, as it should! Comfy yet fashionable clothes for a nice workout or a day in town.
Her music tastes are basically any and all power songs from the eighties and nineties. (Eye of the Tiger, anyone?) She also enjoys metal via Toph, and bands like BSB, NSYNC, or Boyz II Men with Katara. My girl has a very eclectic Playlist and we all love her for it.
SOKKA is That Guy™. Loose T-shirts and shorts everywhere he goes, no matter the weather. He's stupidly into fashion but it doesn't show! At all! And everyone teases him about it. His closet is about 90% Cactus Juice merchandise, hence the "it's the quenchiest!" shirt.
His fashion and music tastes are pretty much the same. He loves poetry but isn't really into lyrics. He'll misinterpret just about anything you place in front of him. His Playlist is mostly vibes and tiktok songs he kind of enjoys. He isn't really into music...at least not as much as his sister.
AANG owns exactly one hoodie, one pair of shorts, and one beanie (THE beanie). Oh, and the crocs—don't forget the crocs. Somehow, he's always wearing the exact same outfit. Every. Single. Day. Ancient Gaang lore suggests that the day Aang goes out without his beanie, it's the end of the world.
His Playlist is the poppiest, most bizarre thing ever. Every single song is Happy by Pharrell Williams levels of happy. Yet sometimes, among the bouncy dance-to songs, you'll find the strangest of things... (He does know what Good Day by Twenty One Pilots is about. That's the reason he likes it so much, actually. And it's so weird.)
KATARA is all about sundresses and loose pants. The epitome of comfortable loveliness. Light fabrics in blue shades, careful embroidery, delicate shoes, and little to no accessories—hers is a simple, yet quite adorable, style. She just needs to add more colors to her usual palette...
She is, first and foremost, a Florence + The Machine girl. It's the Dark Goddess of the Sea vibes, to be honest. Florence Welch is her idol and yes, she will fight you about lyrics interpretation, and win. It may not seem like it, but her music tastes are also very varied.
She draws a little from each member of the Gaang, so you'll hear her humming along to Gorillaz (where did you even find out about them, Aang?), The Weeknd (I...don't think this song means what you think it means, Sokka...), and Hozier (Zuko why did you dedicate Talk to me, Zuko WHAT DID YOU MEAN BY THAT).
TOPH...ah, lovely girl. I'll summarise everything about Toph’s fashion sense in two words: comfort and rebellion. Stuffy dresses forced on her by billionaire parents? No thank you! Give her tank tops with loose shirts and short pants. Bandaids shared with Aang, bracelets from Katara, and even piercings she got in tandem with Sokka. Shoes? What even is that?
Something I love about this fandom is our collective agreement that Toph is into the dirtiest, heaviest, most ear-splitting and soul-crushing death metal of all times. Her Playlist is full of the most obscure names to ever exist, and she can and will blast through your walls with the sheer volume of her speaker.
Zuko. ZUKO.
Even in a modern AU my boy must suffer. That being said, I envision Tales from the Couch as—well, exactly what it is: an ATLA modern AU. While there is not a war to fight, and a lot of plot lines are discarded or expanded upon, much about the core story remains the same.
This is my way of saying that Zuko still goes trough his redemption arc, and it reflects on his fashion choices.
The way you described it works perfectly because of one single reason: in this AU, Zuko is an artist. He had to suppress his love for writing and drawing because of his background and the expectations Ozai had for him (taking over the family company), and a very large part of his redemption arc directly affects his relationship with art.
In the Couch equivalent of S1, Zuko has fallen out of Ozai's graces, and is desperate to protect his place in the company and the Kasai household. He's pretending to be someone he isn't and trying to live up to his Father's image of a perfect heir while still being somewhat cut-off financially, and it shows.
He's all about imposing long coats and a semi-formal style, imitating what he knows Azula and Father would respect. He's striking and sharp and dark. But no matter how he dresses or carries himself (that air of cold superiority and arrogance)—it won't help him when he needs it the most.
In S2, Zuko has hit his lowest point. He's officially disinherited and tossed away by his father, and would be out in the streets if it wasn't for Uncle Iroh. He goes from sharp, high-tailored outfits to old second-hand clothes that hang loosely on his frame. He starts smoking and cuts his hair off, forgoing the undercut for the first time in years.
But then...Father accepts him back. When Zuko returns home, it's with respect to his name and a very high position in his father's company. He's finally the perfect Kasai heir, dressed in overly expensive suits and finery, even at home... But Father forbids him from wearing Lu Ten's earring, and Zuko can no longer recognize himself without the familiar glint of gold dancing on his peripheral vision.
When Zuko leaves the Kasai name behind him and goes back to living with Uncle Iroh...he's finally at peace with who he is, and what he wants in this life. The sharp edges aren't gone (they'll always be a part of him, after all), but now they're dulled by looser clothes and softer hairstyles.
He's an artist, and for once in his life, he is determined to pursue his own ambitions. Zuko's outfits may not be designer-made anymore, but he takes what he has and makes himself look like he wants to look, like the person he wants to be.
He doesn't read fashion magazines or keeps up to the latest trends like Azula does. He's just...Zuko. And his newfound confidence makes everything he wears look like it belongs on him.
As for music...well, Ursa raised a literature boy.
He loves lyric-heavy music and natural voices, be they soothing or powerful. Dissecting song meanings and possible interpretations with Katara is one of his favorite parts of the day. They're both very passionate and strong-minded individuals, so it stands to reason that their debates can get quite...heated.
Zuko's Playlist is both incredibly eclectic and somehow very...him. There's a common thread that binds together every song and artist he likes, and he's hilariously unaware of this. To take a look into his Playlist is a higher honor reserved only for those closest to him.
In the wide spectrum of things, it is no wonder that Zuko is, first and foremost, a Hozier man. But though Andrew is his God in all aspects of this life, there's someone else that has had a huge impact on him...
Two someones, actually.
Zuko refuses to tell anyone how he got into Twenty One Pilots, but it's kind of a moot point when the beginning of his obsession is nothing compared to everything that came after. They have just about the right amount of everything that makes Zuko...well, Zuko. The poetic lyrics, the soothing or raging music, the heavy, intensely resonant themes...
Up there, in the second artwork, I placed an album cover behind each period of Zuko's life. The election of these records is intentional, as I feel like their general themes work incredibly well with Zuko's arc and growth.
Blurryface in S1. For the demons within us. For giving a name to our fears and shame.
Trench in S2. For escaping the confined walls of a depression city, and fighting to understand the depths of the map of your mind.
Scaled and Icy in the first half of S3. For returning to places you had left behind. For convincing yourself and everyone around you that you're fine, that you're perfect, even though everything is crumbling inside...
Clancy in S3. For recognizing that you can backslide, that you can have fears and shame and pain—but you're shaping yourself with each step you take. For knowing that seeking help from others is okay. Nobody learns to walk on their own.
(And, in the end, you'll always be better than the person you were yesterday. If only because you're still here. You're still alive. You're still yourself.)
.
Overall, I rambled a bit too much, don't you think?
If you made it all the way down here—thank you so much for reaching out and being interested in this crazy AU! I hope you enjoy these ideas and tell me some of your own ❤️
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seitmai · 11 hours ago
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But he wasn't look out the bank of windows out towards the beach, in fact, he had his back turned to it. Because he was looking at you.
He is so whipped 🤭
Under normal circumstances, he’d take the hint and move on. And even if his mom hadn’t raised him right- which she had- Rooster knew that just because someone was nice didn’t mean they were interested. Especially when it was their job.
Carole would slap him from beyond the grave
It was more than the way you always seemed to catch him looking, because you were looking right back. Or the way you’d slip him a free drink every now and then, saying it was on the house. Or the way you found a way to brush past him a little too close whenever you'd swing by with more peanuts for Bob or a fresh round of drinks for his friends.
Just some little coincidences 🤭
You were so damn smart and funny as hell. He’d taken to spending less time on his ESPN app and more time on the NYT trying to find interesting topics to get to spend a extra few minutes with you. Nothing felt better than earning a smile from you.
That's some dedication, I respect that
"Now I know you're teasing me." He sets his phone down and levels a look at you. "Because we both know you catch me looking often enough to know the answer to that." You press your lips together, but the corners curl up anyways. And then your eyes drop purposefully down. The two of you stare at his phone sitting on the shiny bar top. "You wouldn't," he rasps. "I think I'm legally obligated to. There's a very official wood sign and everything." You look the picture of innocence, but you don't fool him. "Sweetheart, c'mon." "Are you asking me to bend the rules for you? Just because Penny isn't here?"
Not even those baby cow eyes can convince her, which is unstable when it's about Penny's rules, I wouldn't dare going against them either (not even for a pair of baby cow eyes) ☝🏻
"I think you enjoyed that." You smile wider and don't deny it. "I can't lie, it is a fun perk of the job."
Big bonus of that job, I would enjoy it immense every time hehe
He sighs. "And here I thought we had something special." "Stop that, you're too pretty to pout," you tease.
Facts 🤭🤷🏻‍♀️
"Mmhm. I thought it from the moment I saw you strut through that door." You say it like you're letting him in on a secret. "And there’s something you should probably know about me." He leans in closer. "And what's that?" You mirror him, leaning in as well and resting your elbows on the counter. Your face is just inches from his. “I’m really good at getting into trouble.”
I can't decide if I wanna be her or be with her 🤭🤔
He grins. “I’m gonna marry you one day.” You tip your head back and laugh, it’s the best sound he thinks he’s ever heard. 
Rooster is like:
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"Alas, it appears I have another gentleman caller," you sing, reaching for the towel and waving it like a handkerchief in his direction. "Guess I'll be seeing you around, Bradley. Maybe at the end of an aisle, who knows, the night is young."
This made me giggle
I loved this story so much!! She is so smooth and Bradley is so in love, the perfect combo for amazing banter 👏🏻
A prompt party, Alexa? How in the world did I miss that? I'd be over the moon if you could write a little something for Bradley + "i’m gonna marry you one day." 🪩 ✨
Rebecca! Now you know I’m always down to write a little something for a smitten Bradley! I hope you enjoy!
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It was a surprisingly quiet night at the Hard Deck.
You could actually hear the music playing out of Penny's old juke box, rather than just the faint essence of notes for whatever oldie was queued up over the usual rowdy ruckus. And there were more empty chairs scattered about than there were taken ones.
It was one of the rare rainy days they got in San Diego. The gray skies and drizzle driving even the best of Uncle Sam's finest under blankets and curled up on couches.
Bradley always liked the moody weather. He liked the way the clouds seemed to cling to the coastline. He liked the rough rolling waves as they broke against the shore with more force than they usually did.
But he wasn't look out the bank of windows out towards the beach, in fact, he had his back turned to it.
Because he was looking at you.
Bradley had been trying to ask you out for the better part of two months now. And he was starting to think that you were giving him the runaround.
He'd learned that first evening that you were only filling in as a favor to Penny- she and your mom went way back as sorority sisters- for a few months as Jimmy recovered from his knee replacement surgery.
Under normal circumstances, he’d take the hint and move on. And even if his mom hadn’t raised him right- which she had- Rooster knew that just because someone was nice didn’t mean they were interested. Especially when it was their job.
But he couldn’t kick the feeling that there was something there.
All he needed was one date to prove it.
It was more than the way you always seemed to catch him looking, because you were looking right back. Or the way you’d slip him a free drink every now and then, saying it was on the house. Or the way you found a way to brush past him a little too close whenever you'd swing by with more peanuts for Bob or a fresh round of drinks for his friends.
You were so damn smart and funny as hell. He’d taken to spending less time on his ESPN app and more time on the NYT trying to find interesting topics to get to spend a extra few minutes with you. Nothing felt better than earning a smile from you.
But any time he got close to asking you out or asking for your number, you were pulled away by something or another. The sound of broken glass. A pointed throat clearing from a thirsty patron. An emergency trip to the storage closet.
Rain was good luck in some places, and Bradley needed all the luck he could get. It hadn’t been on his side in the past two month, but tonight was his night. He was sure of it.
Especially considering he was the only person seated at the bar.
You'd been popping out and checking on people, delivering refills personally to the few people who had braved the elements instead of having them come up to the bar.
Rooster was patient, he didn't mind waiting his turn. After all, he had a shiny new NYT subscription to keep him company.
He smiles to himself when you work your way back to the bar, grabbing the bowl of limes and a cutting board, and setting up right in front of him. He watches as you deftly slice and quarter the limes into wedges, their bright scent clinging in the air.
“Why does it feel like I’ve seen less of you tonight than I do when this place is packed?” Bradley asks, saving the article he was midway through before closing out of the app completely.
“I’m just a one woman show here tonight, I told Penny to stay home." You're tidy and efficient in the way you store the prepped wedges and work to clean up the already immaculate bar. "It's means a bit more running around for me. But I don't mind, I like to keep busy."
"So I've noticed."
You look up at him from under your lashes, as you wipe down the prep space. "Have you been keeping tabs on me, Rooster?"
"Now I know you're teasing me." He sets his phone down and levels a look at you. "Because we both know you catch me looking often enough to know the answer to that."
You press your lips together, but the corners curl up anyways.
"Oh, Bradley," you say with a soft sigh. "Bradley, Bradley, Bradley..."
And then your eyes drop purposefully down.
The two of you stare at his phone sitting on the shiny bar top.
"You wouldn't," he rasps.
"I think I'm legally obligated to. There's a very official wood sign and everything." You look the picture of innocence, but you don't fool him.
"Sweetheart, c'mon."
"Are you asking me to bend the rules for you? Just because Penny isn't here?" You tsk, with a self-satisfied smile. "And here I thought you were a Boy Scout."
Bradley just shakes his head amused as you sashay up to the bell and give it a loud, long ring. A couple whoops go up in response, but no one gets up. Yet.
You walk back towards him with an all too pleased smile.
"I think you enjoyed that."
You smile wider and don't deny it. "I can't lie, it is a fun perk of the job."
He sighs. "And here I thought we had something special."
"Stop that, you're too pretty to pout," you tease. "You gave me no choice. I don't make the rules, I just follow them. And as much as I love Penny, I have a healthy dose of-"
"-fear-"
You smirk. "I was going to say respect. But also you're not wrong."
"And what about me?" he asks, sitting up straighter on his stool. "What are your impressions of me?"
"Oh you?" You tilt your head to the side, letting your gaze linger on his face as you muse. "You look like trouble."
"Do I now?"
"Mmhm. I thought it from the moment I saw you strut through that door." You say it like you're letting him in on a secret. "And there’s something you should probably know about me."
He leans in closer. "And what's that?"
You mirror him, leaning in as well and resting your elbows on the counter. Your face is just inches from his. “I’m really good at getting into trouble.”
He grins. “I’m gonna marry you one day.”
You tip your head back and laugh, it’s the best sound he thinks he’s ever heard. 
“That’s a bold statement from the man who still has yet to ask me out on a date.”
He opens his mouth, to do just that, after months of failed attempts. And then another one of the patrons saddles up to the bar, waving you down for your attention.
Rooster groans.
"Alas, it appears I have another gentleman caller," you sing, reaching for the towel and waving it like a handkerchief in his direction. "Guess I'll be seeing you around, Bradley. Maybe at the end of an aisle, who knows, the night is young."
The smile you give him promises that this conversation isn't over yet.
You spin away from him and don’t give him a second glance as you head over towards the thirsty man whose beer is going on his tab, but there’s a sway in your hips that wasn’t there before.
And Bradley thinks to himself, this is going to be fun. 
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eff-plays · 2 days ago
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Long Taash storyline rant, by an enby
Listen. At first I was honestly not that offended/upset with the Taash enby stuff. And having an enby Rook who was able to help them out was honestly pretty fun. It was definitely the first time any video game engaged directly with nonbinary identity like this, and while it's not really 1-1 with my own experiences, I thought that it was. Fine? Ya know? I thought it was a very novel experience to finally have a fellow enby NPC that you could talk to about being nonbinary. It's never happened in any other game I've played.
But then it just ... kept going. And on one hand I get it, because you don't just decide your nonbinary and that's it -- it's a process. But the way it's handled is absolutely insane to me. First of all, how old is Taash supposed to be? They give off whiny teen vibes, and it's very off-putting. This is the character that's meant to represent me? Why are they written like a child?
Second, why are we using modern terms? The word "nonbinary" IRL exists because it is a rejection of the Western gender binary. It's a specific term that isn't universal, and since no previous game bothers to engage with the gender roles of Thedas to begin with, it's absolutely insane to hear these hyperspecific terms used in this made-up fantasy world. Especially since the Qun already has words and concepts for their gender roles -- why didn't BioWare just base this story on those? Why not try to contextualize this in-universe? There are other nonbinary characters in the game, but they just popped up in this previously unequal and often sexist world and are just vibing. With no explanation. Who's out there doing thedosian gender studies? How are they spreading these revolutionary concepts so far and so quickly that the terminology becomes universal?
Side note on that, why does Taash have a little counselling session with the other two trans people that sounds like something they'd do in sex ed class (in Sweden, anyway)? Why is this happening during a magical apocalypse? Hello? Look at this fucking codex entry and try not to cringe
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Like. Who is this for? This doesn't make me feel good as a nonbinary person. This makes me feel like a freak, out-of-place, and like I'm a fucking baby that needs my existence validated by some fucking bitchass video game codex entry preaching at me about how totally valid I am. This doesn't feel like respect, or inclusion -- it feels patronizing. It feels corporate, like we're ticking off boxes. "Look everyone, we're using the appropriate terminology! We're so inclusive!" And you know what? The fucking anti-woke chuds are gonna look at this and think THIS is me. That all I care about is having my terminology and identity carelessly stuffed into places just so I can feel good about who I am.
And before tumblrinas get upset, I'm not saying I don't want rep, or that I'm one of the "good ones" who wants video games to be free of "ideology." I am one of the bad ones. Taash should be nonbinary and I should be able to play a nonbinary Rook and I want both of those things to be explicit and accepted in-game! But I want those in a way that respects me and my intelligence, and the world BioWare has created that I've come to love. Who is preventing BioWare from actually, ya know, unwrapping the sexism and misogyny that they started in Origins? Who's stopping them from actually tackling the gender politics of Thedas? Why don't we ACTUALLY sit down and figure out how a society like the Qun might approach somebody not willing or able to conform to their particular rules? Especially the Qun. Like, they had so much potential for something actually interesting here, and instead it's "mom it's not a phase, respect meeeeee!"
Third, and this is my favorite fucking part, they tie Taash's gender to their background, where the Qun represents conformity and Rivain represents freedom. (Which is an entire can of worms in itself that I won't go into here.) I don't actually mind this? I have some extra special boy insight on this part of the quest, because I am also an immigrant who was born in one country and grew up in another. Being nonbinary and being an immigrant, while separate, have both had a similar effect in my life. It's left me feeling like I don't belong anywhere at times, like I'm something different and strange, and at times like I'm a kaleidoscope of expression and freedom, with unique experiences not everyone has. There is an absolutely valid intersection there that could have been explored and would've been very impactful if done right.
But instead we get this
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Hello? Oh my god HELLO?
Why is there a BINARY CHOICE in a story where a character embraces being NONBINARY? Why are we now equating Taash's background and cultural belonging to the demands of their mother? You can reject what your parent is forcing you into without completely rejecting your culture! Am I fucking taking crazy pills right now?
The idea that Taash, upon discovering they're nonbinary, has to now say goodbye to being a Qunari? When they weren't even ever shown to care about the Qun in the first place? WHY IS THIS A CHOICE THAT HAS TO BE MADE? WHY ARE THEY ASKING ME WHETHER THEY SHOULD CONTINUE FOLLOWING THIS CREED THEY DO NOT CARE ABOUT? (Side note: why did their mother escape from the Qun only to enforce it herself?)
Like? You can't spend a whole fucking subplot deciding you're neither a man nor a woman, but then equate being nonbinary to being Rivaini, and thinking you need to pick that or being Qunari. I'm sorry? I'm sorry? I'm sorry?
Why is there no third choice? Why is there no "Hey you can be both" or "Hey just pick whatever from either culture you want to keep and throw away what you don't?"
I am going insane. The game sits you down and condescends at you for ages about basic contemporary gender theory, but then tries to inexplicably tie that to Taash's cultural background, but then doesn't bother examining how those cultures treat gender at all, and then finally forces us into a binary choice ... for a character whose entire fucking personality is "nonbinary."
The Qun is a misogynistic society. Rivain is a matriarchal society. (This was true for the previous games, at least.) The way these cultures approach gender is vastly different. But instead of examining how such a person would struggle with their background and how that would tie into their gender identity, it's just "Rivain good" and "Qun bad." Pick one or the other. Conform or rebel. Pick one or the other.
And that's the storyline of the nonbinary character.
The reactionary chuds will hate this and blame nonbinary people for how much this fucking sucks. While I can't claim or enjoy it because it's corporate nonsense and fucking sucks. All this does is show people that when games include enby rep, it's hack shit like this, so why include it if it's gonna suck ass, right? This bad writing will just make your game worse, so don't bother!
So yeah. Cool.
Thanks, BioWare. I hope whatever you were trying to prove was worth it.
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sandwitchstories · 2 days ago
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Kiss It Fix It
Hello, Hello! Here is the next installment in my series of drabbles, headcannons and one shots about Dad!Sukuna!
Dad!Sukuna Series on my AO3 - Here! (Dad!Sukuna)
If you prefer to read on AO3 click here !
Author's Note: For anyone new to my Dad!Sukuna Series, Mouse is Sukuna's (currently" 2 year old daughter with reader.
Summary: While fleeing from naptime Mouse sustains and injury.
WC: 1000+
CW: Reader is referred to as Mama but not described, toddler dad Sukuna, girl dad!sukuna, true form Sukuna (4 arms), it's pretty much just plain Dilf Sukuna fluff and crack, it is SFW but 2 swear words are said (well technically one but it's said twice)
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Sukuna was sitting atop his throne, staring out into the vacancy of the room he was in. Here he was the ultimate law. Here was where he made pathetic humans tremble and crawl. He made them beg, never being even the slightest bit benevolent. Nah. He was fully malevolent, just like his shrine.
He rested his head on his palm and closed his eyes. He let out a slow breath. He was glad these tedious meetings were over. These curses and sorcerers were all so pathetic. Their squabbling and scheming… Very few of them had strong enough convictions to actually stand and fight against opposition. 
It was all a waste of his time and utterly bored him. Sukuna was not a fan of being bored. Maybe it was time for a little… walk about. Go stretch his legs, find some fresh… meat. Uraume was saying the supply of human flesh was getting low. He did need it to survive and the hunt would help him blow off some steam, especially if he played with his food first. 
Just as he finished that thought the door to his throne room began to open slowly. He lifted his head and arched his eyebrow, wondering just who would have the audacity to enter his throne room without permission. 
“Papa?”
He should have figured. “What do you want, Mouse?”
She finished shoving the heavy door open enough she could squeeze in. He watched as she made her way across the room and up to his throne of bones. With expert ease she made her way up the stairs to stand at his feet.
“Papa, up. Please and thank you,” she said, stretching her arms up.
“You know you are not supposed to be in here,” he narrowed his eyes on her, unmoving.
“But I need Papa…” she pouted.
“Why do you need me? You have your mother. Hell, you have Uraume somewhere around here too,” he scoffed.
Mouse rested one hand on his knee and then lifted the other to show him a pretty deep cut on the palm of her tiny little hand. “Need Papa to kiss it, fix it.”
He used one hand to pick her up by the back of her clothing and set her on his lap, keeping that hand behind her to keep her stable. Another hand cupped the back of her head, thumb rubbing in a gentle pattern. He used a third hand to hold hers and take a look.
“How the hell did you do that?” he muttered, using his RCT to heal her hand. “There you go. It’s fixed.”
“No, it’s not,” she shook her head glancing at her palm and then at him expectantly.
“What the hell do you mean it’s not fixed?”
“Papa didn’t finish,” she said, moving the hand to hold it in front of his face as if she were presenting evidence. “Seeeeee.”
“Mouse, I see nothing. Literally nothing. It’s been healed.”
“But…”
“But what?”
“But… papa didn’t kiss it fix it…” she pouted up at him.
Kiss it fix it… He was so grateful you had taught your daughter that a kiss healed wounds and had somehow convinced him to play along. He let out a sigh and moved her hand to his mouth “Muah. There. Happy?”
“Yes. Please and thank you, Papa,” she said with a smile before moving to lean into him.
He gave in instantly, wrapping arms around her and holding her impossibly small frame in his arms. Careful like she was made of glass. “Now what do you want, Mouse?”
“Just Papa,” she said softly, a sleepy note to her voice. 
He smiled down at her gently, “Fine. You may stay.”
A short time later you came into the throne room full of concern, slightly frantic and looking for Mouse. You had found broken glass and were concerned about her well being while trying to locate her. All you had done was go to the bathroom and the little convict had once again made an escape and left destruction in her wake. But this time there had been blood.
You let out a sigh of relief when you saw her in his arms. You knew without a shadow of a doubt that if she had any injuries, Sukuna would have used RCT to heal them. When it came to Mouse, he talked tough but he was a damn good Papa.
Your heart swelled with love as you took in the scene. You couldn’t stop the small smile that spread across your face. You touched your fingertips to your mouth to stifle the happy chuckle you let slip. Sukuna was sound asleep on his big scary throne of bones with Mouse, in her little pink outfit with her little pink pigtails, equally sound asleep in his arms. 
You were about to turn back out of the room when Sukuna opened one of his eyes and focused it on you. Seeing it was you, he blinked awake. He carefully stood and descended his throne to come to you with Mouse still sound asleep, cradled in his arms. 
You were confused as he grabbed your hand and started walking. “Sukuna, where are we going?”
“Our room of course.”
“Why?” you asked.
“Because it is nap time, quite obviously.”
“You two looked comfortable where you were,” you commented. He napped in that thing all the damn time and it would not have been the first time Mouse joined him.
“We were,” he said, using one hand to push open your bedroom door, gesturing for you to enter first before closing the door softly behind him. 
“Then why relocate and risk waking her?” you asked as you stood next to him and watched him very carefully lay her down on the bed before he turned towards you. 
“For one very simple fact,” he said, pulling you close and tilting your head up to press several gentle kisses to your lips. “You don’t like sleeping on my throne.”
“I don't,” you agreed.
“Then isn’t it obvious?” he chuckled.
“Papa? Mama?” Mouse stirred from the bed, sitting up and rubbing her eyes.
“We’re right here, little one,” you said with reassurance, crawling onto the over sized bed to reach your daughter’s side. 
You laid down on your side and pulled her closer to you. You were about to turn to speak to Sukuna when you felt him lay down behind you and wrap his arm around you both, his large hand resting on Mouse’s back on top of your own. He kissed the back of your head before nuzzling his nose against your hair.“It’s nap time, precious one. Go the fuck to sleep.”
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snuffyg1rl · 2 days ago
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daddy has cams in your room
Two little glimpse:
Those doe eyes gleam with relief and confusion as she opens the gift and stares at it confused, turning the dainty pink gift between her fingers. Surprise shines in her eyes as she lifts her gaze back to me.
“D-dad… p-please,” she whimpered shivering. “Fuck sorry.” I release my tight grip just for a second before tightening it again. “You know what? Fuck it.” My hips slam forward again, tightly she clenched around me as I fuck the blood back inside her.
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Warnings: incest, hard fucking? Sex, 18+, stalking disturbing behaviour, Age gap, manipulation and more freaky stuff…
That are all just random imaginations. If you don’t like it just scroll :3 English isn’t my first language so I’m sorry for any mistakes ૮ . . ྀིა⁩
DMs are open for requests or yk older guys :3
His pov:
I watch her.
My sweet, sweet girl. So big already. Humping her pillow so desperately for relieve as she moans and grinds her hips against the pillow. Slow and deep. Her hair all messy covering her face while she bites into her pillow.
The cameras are only there for my baby’s safety, so I can keep an eye on my precious daughter. My oldest and favourite daughter. All that crap about parents don’t have a favourite child… is a fucking nasty lie.
My thumb graced the display of my computer and I wish I would touch her instead. I know it’s wrong, sick. Disgusting even. But aren’t I’m allowed to use what I created? She’s mine, literally and througwholy. All fucking mine.
Her body twitches in those sweet pajama as she let out a whine, her body laying wearily in her bed, panting heavily as she slowly released her mouth from the pillow. My cock strains against my pants painfully. I don’t jerk off. It’s pathetic.
After some minutes when I see her slowly coming down from the hollow orgasm, I lift from my seat and walk out of my office down the hall of the manor I bought this family. Knocking on the dark wood door with pink stickers.
“yn, can I come in please?” I ask monotonously as I hear her shuffling in her room, her bare feet’s padding on the floor before she finally opens the door. I love those hazy eyes with these pretty pink cheeks.
“D-dad?” She stammers, trying her hardest to not give herself away. Fiddling with her pyjama pants, she tilt her head to the side. “Happy birthday, pretty girl.” I stretch out a black gift with a pink ribbon. With her eyes go wide my cock goes harder, my heart pumping hard and fast.
“I..” she takes a shaky breath before she opens her pretty mouth again to add, “I thought you forgot my birthday.” Tears pricking in her eyes and fuck I wish she had tears in her eyes for a different reason. Those doe eyes gleam with relief and confusion as she opens the gift and stares at it confused, turning the dainty pink gift between her fingers. Surprise shines in her eyes as she lifts her gaze back to me.
“Thank you!” She squealed and hugs me tightly, my arms wrapping around her gently as I feel her pressing her tummy harder against my lap. “B-but what is that?” She asked confused, tilting her head.
“A suitable gift for my eighteen year old little girl.”
“Thank you, dad!” So excited over something she didn’t even know how to use. So naive.
“How do I use it?”
Finally, she asks. I settle down on her bed, just beside the pillow she had mounted like a little needy bunny. “Come here.” Patting my thigh, she settled down on it and I reach for the pink metallic plug. “Tell dad… what were you doing while he was away searching for a gift for his little princess?” Her body stiffened as she opened her mouth to lie. “I was watching tv.” Liar.
“Mhm, tv?” I arch a brow and she wiggled nervously on my thigh. “Yup. You were away so I thought you forgot me…” I know that wasn’t a lie at least but a full lie.
“I should apologise for breaking my daughter’s fragile heart,” I whisper in her ear, circling my thumb on her belly, the fabric soft. Breath hitching she nods eagerly humping my thigh slowly. Very slowly.
As if I wouldn’t notice it. Oh, the pants are wet I guess from earlier humping her pillow. “Shh, what are you doing? That’s not what good daughters do to their daddies.“ Guilt spreads over her delicate features as she gasped a stammering, “Sorry.”
“What would mommy say?” I feigning a scold, my thumb pressing harder in the soft flesh of her tummy. “Rubbing that little pussy on your dads thigh, tsk tsk.”
“Sorry.”
“Don’t apologise so much. It’s okay, daddy is yours all day… or night.” The clock hits 8pm. My wife won’t come home any soon. Thank god or whatever higher might chills up there.
My fingers slowly slip to the wet spot on her pants rubbing over it. Rubbing my index finger over her hole before pressing down, drawing out a whine of her. “W-what are y—“ before she can continue I press harder. The tip of my finger buried in her hole with her pants. Slowly gliding my finger back. “My, my, so wet it just stays sticked to you little hole.” Gasping she reached to her pants but I stop her before she even can pull the sticky fabric out of her pussy.
“On your tummy and stick your pretty ass up like a good little girl, yeah?” She tilts her head, thinks and plops down on her belly sticking her ass up. The Color of her eyes brighten as she peered at me curios.
“Let’s put your new little toy to use.”
I pull down her pants and her panties with a swift motion, a moan slips from her mouth just like the fabric from her hole. She didn’t look at me, her gaze turned to her pillow, her slender fingers curled into it.
“Fuck so pretty.” My tongue darts out as I grip her ass and lick through her slit. “D-dad!” She yelped surprised tries to wiggle out of my grip, probably realising what she’s doing.
“Stay still.” I plunge my tongue in her hole. It’s so warm and sweet, her hole fluttering around my tongue like a nervous butterfly. Withdrawing my tongue, she whines again but this time sad. She deserves a punishment for teasing me all the time with her little skirts and silly boyfriends. I take the pink buttplug in my hands and smile to myself a little. Oh she will enjoy that or maybe not.
“Suck, my silly girl.” She opens her mouth, her plump lips tremble around the metal as she sucked and licked it wet, coating it with her salvia. “Mhm yeah that’s enough.”
With a wet pop, I pull it out of her mouth and circle the rim of her asshole, coating it with her salvia before putting pressure on it. “No!” She screams her feet’s kicking. Sweet. So sweet. She’s scared because she didn’t know yet that she’ll crawl back to me let me put bigger things in that pretty ass.
“You’re a big big girl. Calm down.” I force it in slowly, tears streaming down her flushed face sending shivers to my dick. Adjusting my pants slightly uncomfortable and pull her onto my lap, belly down on my thighs. I get fed up with her damn struggle and slam the fucking plug in. Screams echoe in the empty manor. “It hurts.” She yells at me in tears. Such a fucking bad girl, she just had my attitude.
“If you would just behave it didn’t would’ve hurt,” I explain her calmly, drowning my anger and open my pants. My cock springs free, bopping against her side. My hand curl around her waist, lifting her up I throw her into her bed. I climb on top of her and press my chest against her back, my hand wraps around her throat squeezing while my other hand reached between us, lining myself up her pussy. Ramming in, swift and fully. Another scream. More tears.
“Shh, you’re a big girl now. You deserve to get treated like one.” I don’t move. I love her, but also fucking hate her sometimes. Her pussy clenched so tight I fear she might strangle my cock off. My eyes peer down between us, her hole stretched around me, blood paints my veiny skin. Mhm fucking adorable.
Her breathes calm down from screams into sobs. My sign. I pull my cock fully out, feeling the cold air circling the wet skin of it before delving into her warm pussy. My hips slam against the plug causing her leg to flinch violently. The tip slamming in her petite walls against something, forcing out a sharp gasp of me.
Forget how small she is. Like her fucking mother just better, more pure. No one knows that slut was cheating on me with her boss because she wanted more. More money, more time for herself… and less of this family.
“D-dad… p-please,” she whimpered shivering. “Fuck sorry.” I release my tight grip just for a second before tightening it again. “You know what? Fuck it.” My hips slam forward again, tightly she clenched around me as I fuck the blood back inside her.
“I fucking hate her. You know how much she would freak out… finding out this… fucking our innocent little daughter head out.”
“Dad. I love you.” She sobbed yelping and twisting, gasping for air.
“I know you fucking do.“ Heat fills my body as I thrust harder, and faster, my hands falls from her throat to her tits pinching her tiny nipples hard. “Agh-“ she huffed her tears slipping exhausted from her eyes.
Cum shots into her, paints her walls her head falls back, her hip thrust into mine, my cock disappears fully into her pussy. A strangled sob ribs from her throat as I slip out with a wet squelch. “Mh…” her eyes flutter shut.
Silly girl. The white substance embraces her hole slowly trips between her labia to her clit. I grin and my finger circle the sensitive nub. With a swift thrust I slam back in, the sperm shooting deep inside her stretched pussy.
Her eyes shot open and eyes roll back in a moan.
“Silly girl, we need to set a new bedtime so keep your eyes open for daddy, yeah?”
E N D
Hey it’s my first story in English…. So enjoy… or not
I’m always thankful for you sharing your opinion on it with me. Be kind and I try to improve my writing…
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avastrasposts · 17 hours ago
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Bona Dea - part 5 The End
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Plot: Stumbling through a dark town, general Marcus Acacius encounters the festival of Bona Dea. But what at first seems like just a pleasurable way to spend the night leaves a greater impression on him than he counted on.
Series master list
General Marcus Acacius x female reader
Warnings: Explicit smut. No use of y/n, the reader is pretty much a blank slate if you're a Roman noble lady in 2nd century Tuscany?
Word count: 8.4k
A/N: Fifth and final part of Bona Dea (at least until I watch the film next Sunday and start making up new stories....). All happy endings here! Please come tell me your thoughts, yell in my inbox, ask me about all the strange Roman customs I squeezed in here, I'd love to hear from you all!
A few notes on the Latin. I think most of it is pretty self-explanatory but just in case: Caligae - typical Roman sandals Carrisme - dearest or sweetest Sepmer - always Amica mea/Amica meus - "my love" in female and male form Ubi tu Gaius, ego Gaia - Ubi tu Gaia, ego Gaius - Wherever you are, I will be
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The next morning, just after you’d finished breakfast with the family and Alba, one of the servants came in to announce a guest. Your heart caught in your throat when you heard the name. Alba gasped loudly and it made Titus look up at first her and then you, when he saw your shocked faces, he quickly understood something was not right. 
“Who is he?” he asked, rising to his feet as you did the same. 
“My father,” you replied, your hands shaking as you smoothed down your stola, “I didn’t think he’d risk the journey, but it seems I was wrong.” 
“Siro,” Titus called to the servant who had brought the news, “Send word to general Acacius at once, tell him Domina Lunaris’ father is here and he should come at once to meet the father of his bride,” his words were light but the grim tone spoke volumes 
Titus gave you a reassuring look as Siro left the room, “Don’t worry, Marcus will come as quickly as he can and make sure your father does not interfere.” 
“We’ll come with you to meet your father,” Antonia told you, coming to your side with Alba and taking your hand, “You won’t have to face him alone, and Marcus will be here soon.” 
“Thank you both,” you replied, still nervously smoothing down your stola. Alba squeezed your hand and gave you a scared look. 
“He can’t say anything, can he? You’re a widow now, and under the protection of general Acacius.” 
“She’s not just under his protection,” Titus said, “She’s his betrothed, he’s given her a ring and shown Rome that she belongs to him now,” he beckoned you all to follow him, “Come, let’s see what your father has to say and show him that you are not some lost young girl.” 
Your father was seated in the reception room and stood up as Titius walked in through the door, and then you, arm in arm with Antonia. 
“Nerius Vernio,” Titus greeted him, “Welcome to my home.” 
The two men bowed and Titus introduced himself and his wife as your father eyed you. You dropped your eyes to the floor and curtsied low. 
“Father, I didn’t know you were coming to Rome, I hope your journey was uneventful,” you greeted him and he gave you a cursory nod. 
“Daughter, I’ve written and requested for you to return home several times, but my letters have gone unanswered,” he said and then turned to Titus, “Aurelius, I’m grateful you’ve taken in my daughter and her cousin after the bandits attack that took her husband’s life. I’ve arranged for accommodation for us and I’ll take her into my care now.” 
You immediately shook your head but your father ignored you, “Alba, pack up both of your belongings, I have a letica waiting for  us outside.” 
“No, father, I’m not-” you began to protest, but Titus interrupted. 
“Vernio, there is no need for them to leave, we are happy to have them stay and they’ve both become very good friends of my wife. And your daughter has made a very happy connection while in Rome. And-” 
“I’ve heard of this connection, and the upcoming wedding,” your father snapped, his eyes on you and not Titus, “But you are still my daughter and you belong to my family and I will not allow you to marry anyone without my consent.” 
“Father, I’m a widow and can choose my own husband now,” you replied, but he shook his head, interrupting you again. 
“No. You will come back home, we will set Lunaris affairs on order and then I will choose a new husband for you,” Vernio was grabbing at your arm now, ushering Alba at the same time, trying to make you leave, “I will not have you dishonour our family name by running off and remarrying mere days after your husband dies.”
You tried to dig your heels in, and Antonia was reluctant to let go of your arm, “Please, father, I am not going back. I don’t care what tradition says, I’ve found a good man to marry, many times better than Lunaris and I love him.” 
He scoffed in reply, looking at you with contempt, “Love? When did love ever play a part in marriage? You’ll marry who I choose and if the gods will it, you’ll grow to love your new husband as much as you did Lunaris.” 
“I never loved Lunaris,” you cried, pulling to get your arm back now as your father looked close to slapping you in his anger, Titus looked appalled and stepped in to calm the situation. 
“Please, Verio, your daughter is allowed to have a mind of her own, she is no young maid going to her first marriage,” he said, placing a hand on your arm, “Both law and tradition says a widow can choose to marry whom she wants.” 
Suddenly there was a flurry of activity by the door of the reception room and the next thing you knew, Marcus was striding over to you, his face dark with rage. He was dressed in his full armour, the dark leather decorated with the intimidating Medusa, his gladius hanging on his hip. The sight made your father abruptly drop your arm and take several steps back as Marcus reached your side and immediately cupped your cheeks. 
“Amica mea, I came as fast as I could,” he said, looking only at you and not acknowledging your father with as much as a glance. 
“Thank you, amor,” you replied, smiling up at Marcus and taking immense satisfaction in the way your father seemed to be almost cowering from Marcus’ imposing form. It felt like having a fearsome lion as protection, storming in with a roar and making sure everyone knew that you were his to protect. 
“My father has arrived,” you said finally, after Marcus had dropped his hand to your waist and turned to the room with you securely in his arms, “Father, I’m pleased to introduce you to my betrothed, general Marcus Acacius. General, this is my father Fabius Nerius Vernio.” 
“Vernio,” Marcus said, giving your father a short nod. Vernio on his hand seemed to have lost his ability to speak, he only stared at Marcus. 
Marcus continued to look at Vernio with thinly veiled rage, and your father seemed no closer to finding his tongue and the room lapsed into an uncomfortable silence. You were delighted seeing your father squirm under Marcus’ sharp eyes and had no intention of easing his uncomfort. Eventually it was Titus, ever the diplomat, who broke the silence. 
“General Acacius is one of Rome’s most celebrated military commanders, and enjoys great favour from the emperors. I’m sure you can understand that your daughter is making a very wise choice in accepting his proposal,” he said, almost imperceptibly and gently ushering your father towards the door of the room. 
“I’m still her father and I can’t allow her to marry some stranger,” he protested weakly, “Lunaris estate must be taken care of.” 
“Oh, so that’s where your concern is!” you exclaimed, only Marcus’ arm around your waist stopped you from stepping closer to your father, Marcus tightened his grip and held you back. “You only want Lunaris’ assets so that you can marry me off to someone with lands next to the olive groves!” 
Next to you, you felt more than heard Marcus’ growl. Your father tried to bring himself under control and took hold of the edge of his toga, nervously adjusting it on his shoulder. Under Marcus’ glare he seemed pitiful. 
“Your daughter will want for nothing when she is my wife,” Marcus said, his tone betraying that he had no patience for this conversation, “If it’s money you want to let her go, then you can have whatever you want. Unlike you, my only aim is to make her happy and I don’t need money for that.” 
He turned to Titus as he took your hand in his, “I’m taking my future wife to the temple to prepare for the ceremony, I trust you to have evacuated your guest when we return, Titus.” 
Titus gave him a smirk, a look exchanged between the two old friends that spoke volumes, “Of course, general Acacius.” 
And with that Marcus led you from the room, stepping between you and your father as you passed by him, you kept your eyes from him, not wishing to see his reaction.
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Later, when you reclined next to Marcus in his private reception room, you went over the events in your mind. After Marcus and you had left Titus’ villa he’d taken you to visit the temple of Juno to honour the goddess of love and marriage. On the day of your wedding you’d have a ceremony at the temple of Jupiter, but it felt right to honour Juno and ask her to protect your love for each other after your father’s anger today. 
Afterwards Marcus had asked if you wanted to see his villa, the place you would effectively be taking control of once you were married. So now you sat next to him in his private rooms, picking at the food the servants had brought from the kitchen.
“I think, in reality, he loves the idea of a great Roman general as husband to his daughter,” you told Marcus, thinking of your father, “both he and Lunaris were obsessed with power and you’re certainly more powerful than Lunaris ever was.” 
“He didn’t seem too keen today though,” Marcus replied as he pulled you closer on the seat you were on, “You’d think his daughter was marrying a homeless sewage collector.” 
“I think he was mostly angry that he had no say in it, he hates not being in control,” you said, “but I won’t let him ruin this. I’m marrying you and I’d marry you even if you were a sewage collector.” 
Marcus chuckled at that and playfully pinched your nose between his thumb and forefinger, “But you’d make me bathe every day before I came home? Or would you let me into your bed smelling like the excrements of Rome?” 
He laughed as you giggled and squirmed under his grip, finally letting go and capturing your smiling mouth in a tender kiss. 
“Would you love me even if I smelled like shit, carissime?” he asked with a mischievous grin. 
“Maybe a smidgen less,” you laughed, accepting his insistent kisses along your neck. 
He kept you occupied in that way for some time until it was time for you to return to Titus’ villa. Your lips were swollen and your hair less than smooth as he escorted you through the gates. 
“How are the preparations for the wedding going?” he asked, walking next to you with his hands clasped behind his back, keeping his roaming paws to himself to stop too many rumours to spread amongst the slaves at the villa. 
“We are almost done, the clothes are prepared, Antonia has made the wreaths for our heads, and the jewellery will be delivered tomorrow,” you replied. The big door was opened by an unseen slave and light spilled out onto the courtyard, “Will you come in?” you asked. 
“Yes, I need to discuss something with Titus,” Marcus said, “But I’ll say good night to you now, my love, and I’ll see you tomorrow.”  
“I wish it was our wedding day tomorrow,” you smiled, “I don’t want to wait any longer to be your wife.” 
Marcus smiled and pressed a chaste kiss to your cheek, “Sleep well, amica mea.” 
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Alba woke you up the next morning, insisting on an early visit to the villa’s thermae, dragging your sleepy form along. 
“Antonia and I want to make sure your wedding day is perfect so we’re rehearsing it all today,” she said, “do all the steps so that we have time to make changes.” 
“Sounds sensible,” you yawned, “but why so early and why do we start in the baths?” 
“Because there will be a lot of standing around getting adjusted today so we’re starting with a relaxing bath and massage.” 
You were too tired to question her and both the massage and bath were enough to put you back to sleep, snoring lightly on the marble slab until Alba woke you up again. Antonia then greeted you in the largest reception room, where the servants had just finished setting up a light meal. So while you tried to nibble on sweet dates, you were shrouded in all your wedding finery. A brand new, pure white tunic was pulled over your head and your hair then fiddled with while you yawned again. Alba and Antonia were debating how to best braid your hair while making the customary flammeum, the bridal veil, stay attached. It would be seen as a very bad omen if it fell off. You had to squint to see through the fabric as they finally agreed on how to fasten it. 
You admired the white tunic and the bright yellow veil in the polished brass mirror that was being held up in front of you. You remembered how much you’d hated it on your first wedding day, now you smiled at your reflection as Antonia tied the belt securely around your waist until you realised what she was doing. 
“No, wait, don’t tie that yet. Only Marcus is supposed to untie it and the wedding isn’t for another three days,” you protested, but it was too late, the Hercules knot was securely in place.  
“You’ll just have to stay in your wedding clothes until your wedding night then,” Antonia laughed and you frowned at her, untying the knot was a major part of the ceremony once the newlyweds were alone in their new home. Only when the husband untied the knot and slept with his wife for the first time were they truly married in the eyes of Rome and the gods. 
You were about to protest again as the doors to the room slammed open and Titus rushed in. 
“Protect the bride!” he called in a dramatic voice, throwing his arms up in the air as Marcus stepped in behind him and pushed him aside with a grin. 
“No man will stop me from robbing this woman away from her family and making her mine,” he called, striding over to you with long steps, mischief glinting in his eyes as Alba and Antonia tried to hide the bright smiles. 
“What are you doing?” you laughed, “The wedding isn’t for another three days.” Tradition held that the groom would pretend to steal his bride away from her family, and the bride should act as if she was both sad to be taken from her home, but also excited to begin her new life. But now he was three days early and you were confused when he grabbed your arm and pulled you with him towards the door as Titus pretended to try to stop him from leaving. 
“I’m claiming you as mine, we will go to the temple of Jupiter this very day and let the gods know that you will be my wife from this day on,” Marcus said, keeping the tradition with a stern voice, but you could see the glint in his eyes. He pushed Titus to the side, who made a big show of falling to the floor and Antonia ran over to him, pleading with the gods to stop Marcus. The smile she gave you made you realise she’d been in on it all along and you had to bite your tongue to stop yourself from laughing out loud. Marcus had taken your hand in his and now he was ushering you along the hall, across the courtyard and into his carriage. He helped you step inside and you managed to wave to Titus and  his family who had followed. Now they were throwing walnuts over your heads as the family’s slaves joined in, shouting well wishings. You suddenly realised, you were getting married today, somehow Marcus and Titus had moved things forward, and now you were on your way to the ceremony. 
Marcus climbed into the carriage and you couldn’t help beaming up at him. He was dressed in white armour adorned with gold details and he was grinning widely at you as he pulled you into his side, laughing as more walnuts rained down over the carriage. 
The procession to the temple of Jupiter was filled with blessings called to you both from the people on the streets, many joining in behind you together with Titus and his family. By the time you arrived in the square before the temple of Jupiter, the crowd was pretty large. The flamen Dialis, the head priest of Jupiter, stood at the top of the stairs, awaiting your arrival together with his wife. 
“You changed all the plans,” you said to Marcus as the carriage made a lap around the square. 
“I talked to Titus and he sent out messengers last night,” he replied, his smile disappearing as he looked at you with serious eyes, “We didn’t want to risk your father trying to disrupt the events. Neither Titus nor I trust him to not try to influence someone to get control over both you and Lunaris’ assets,” he cupped your cheek and let his thumb caress your skin, “And honestly, I was tired of waiting for you to be my wife, we have spent enough days apart, now I want you to be mine.” 
“Then let's pay our respects to Jupiter so that you can take me to our home,” you smiled at him and he smiled back. 
The carriage came to a stop at the foot of the stairs and Marcus tenderly kissed your forehead before he took your hand and helped you step down. The large crowd cheered as you began to climb the stairs, Titus’ family and Alba behind you. At the top of the stairs you stopped in front of the Dialis and he called up Jupiter to make your marriage a long and happy one. Two slaves brought forward a sow and the auspex performed the sacrifice to the god Ceres, reading the entrails of the dead animal as its blood dripped down the stairs. After much humming and mumbling, he finally stood up straight and loudly declared the omens to be good, loud enough for the crowd to hear. A big cheer erupted and you saw Marcus smile from the corner of your eye. He took your hand and turned you so that you were facing him, and the Dialis told you it was time for the groom to look upon his bride. 
Up until now you’d enjoyed the spectacle, it felt like your first real wedding day, not the unhappy day you’d married Lunaris. But now suddenly you felt the weight of the moment, emotions racing to the surface as you looked up at Marcus. He could only see the shadows of your features through the veil, but his smile was warm and tender, his eyes soft, as if he could see through the veil and into your nervously beating heart as you lifted your shaking hands and removed the flammeum.  
“Semper amare,” he whispered, so low that only you could hear it, and his words filled you with calm as you slowly lifted the bright yellow veil from your face. Stillness filled your mind as you met his eyes and you smiled back at him and took a deep breath. 
“Ubi tu Gaius, ego Gaia,” you said, your voice loud and clear, carrying across the square. 
Marcus reached out and took your hands in his and replied as was the tradition; 
“Ubi tu Gaia, ego Gaius.”
His voice also carried across the square and the crowd cheered as the Dialis cleared his throat and looked pointedly at where Marcus was holding your hands. 
“General, you need to let go of her so that I can initiate the dextratum iunctio,” he said and Marcus chuckled, dropping your hands. 
“I got carried away, apologies.” 
The Dialis took your hand and then Marcus’ and joined them together again. 
“Your hands are joined in the concordia, the mutual bond of affection and marriage. Now offer this bread to Jupiter.” 
He held out a small piece of round bread to Marcus, who let go of your hand. With a grin, he broke the bread over your head, showering you with crumbs before offering you a piece to eat. The bread was dry but you smiled back at him as you chewed and swallowed it down as Marcus did the same. 
The Dialis brought forward a tablet and you both signed the papyrus, marking your names to the contract that would now bind you together in Roman law. The last time it had felt like a death sentence, reluctantly scraping your pen over the surface. Now it felt like you were signing your release papers, setting you free from your father’s influence and becoming a part of Marcus’ family, his name now attached to yours. Marcus moved closer as you placed the pen on the table, his arm over your shoulder, as a sign to the crowd behind you that you were now under his protection.
Together you walked back down the stairs towards the carriage, the crowd had swelled and they cheered as they saw the patrician newlyweds. Again Marcus helped you up into the carriage and then waved at the crowd as his driver turned back up to the Palatine, this time returning to his villa. 
The crowd followed you all the way back, continuing to shout blessings. When you performed the rituals of entering the house the first time as mistress of it, blessings of good omens showered over you. Marcus picked you up, lifting you into his arms with a big smile and carried you not just into the courtyard and house, but all the way into the reception hall, followed by Titus’ and his family and a few of Marcus’ closest officers who had been told at the last minute that the wedding was changing days. 
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The feast was a small affair, just as Marcus had promised you. Alba sat across from you at the best table together with Titus and Antonia while their children chatted away at another table. And although the food was excellent, and the wild stories about Marcus from his closest friends made you laugh until your sides ached, you wanted nothing more than for it to end so that you could have Marcus to yourself and perform the final part of the wedding ceremony. 
But there was one detail that made you want to stay a little bit longer. A young man, only a few years older than Alba, caught your eye. He was looking at Alba with admiration as she told him about a weaving technique she’d been taught. For a young man to be so immersed in weaving could only mean one thing, and you carefully nudged Marcus to look in the man’s direction. He gave a low chuckle when he saw the way the boy seemed to hang on to Alba’s every word. 
“Octavian Livius Catius,” he whispered close to your ear, “A junior in my army and Titus’ mentee. He comes from a fairly low birth but he has a good career in front of him, Alba could do much worse if she wishes to marry.” 
“Is he a good man?” you asked, keeping your voice low as you tried to glance at the two of them without being seen. 
“He is, Titus says he has good morals and a stable head, he’s fostering him to become a strategist too. And of course, since we’ve been away for two years, he’s well past the age most boys marry, I’m sure he’s looking for a future wife.” 
“Only if Alba wants him,” you replied immediately, “She’s in my care and I won’t let her be married off without her consent.”
“I would expect nothing less, domina,” Marcus mumbled, pressing a kiss to your cheek, “Now, I think we have been polite enough to our guests, let’s leave.” 
Taking your hand, he stood and pulled you to your feet as the small group of guests grew quiet. 
“I’m now fortunate enough to call this incredible woman ‘my wife’, he said, addressing the room, “And it is time for our final ceremony and to honour the gods, to thank them for bringing us together and letting us have this happy day.” 
He smiled down at you as he continued to speak, “Never could I have imagined that a chance meeting on a dark street would lead me to such a happy end. I’m still not convinced you’re not Venus stepped down among us mortals.” 
You squeezed his hand and brought it to your lips for a kiss as you felt heat rise in your cheeks at his praise. 
“Please, enjoy each other’s company, the wine, the food, have a glorious evening,” Marcus told the guests and then turned to you again, “Come, wife,” he smiled at the word, “let me untie the knot.” 
Titus raised his glass and cheered, and the others joined in as Alba got to her feet and gave you a big hug, wrapping her arms tight around you. 
“I’m so happy for you both,” she said and kissed your cheek. 
“Thank you, my darling Alba,” you replied, “and his name is Octavian and Marcus says he’s a good man,” you added with a whisper in her ear, smiling as you pulled away and looked at her. Her cheeks went red as she giggled. 
“I’ll keep that in mind,” she grinned and gave you a little push, “Now go with your husband and tell me everything tomorrow.” 
Behind you, you heard Marcus chuckle at Alba’s comment, and his hand took a firmer hold of yours. “I agree with your cousin, come now, carissime, I have waited long enough.”  
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He wrapped his arms around you as he guided you through the villa, towards one of the few rooms you had yet to see in what was now your new home; his private bedroom. It sat on the second floor and as the short December day was nearing the end, the sun glowed golden outside the windows. One of the servants had lit the oil lamps in the room and they filled it with a warm light, illuminating the warm colours of mosaics that decorated the walls. Thick rugs covered the floor and the bed was draped in soft looking blankets and pillows to warm against the cold night outside. 
Marcus closed the door behind the two of you and let out a deep breath that made you turn towards him. 
“Why such a deep sigh?” you asked and he gave you a small smile as he took your hand again and led you to the bed and sat down. 
“It’s a relief to close the door, to finally have you to myself, as my wife,” he said, “I didn’t realise until yesterday how much I’d feared that something would hinder our wedding. But when your father turned up…” Marcus sighed again and rubbed a hand over his face, “I knew I had to act fast, I hope you didn’t mind the surprise this morning.” 
You smiled at him and cupped his cheeks with both your hands, smoothing out his worried frown, “Not at all, if anything I’m delighted I didn’t have to wait another three days. Now, untie this knot and prove your virility,” you teased, “Antonia made it very tight so I hope you’re up for the task.” 
Marcus laughed and took your hand, making you lie down in the middle of the bed as he sat next to you. 
“I’d say you already know my virility is just fine enough,” he said, his smile turning more mischievous as he let his eyes roam over your body. The look in his eyes made your skin tingle and you sighed when he finally put his hands on you properly and caressed your curves. He toyed with the belt, tugging at it to pull you closer as he leaned forward. 
“Marcus….” you said, your voice a low whine when he pressed his lips to your cheek instead of your lips, his hands still not touching the knot.
“Patience, domina,” he hummed, pulling away and getting to his feet, his eyes darker now. 
With slow, practised movements he unwound the long toga from around his body, laying it on the seat next to the bed, loosening his belt and caligae next. When he pulled the tunic over his head, you held your breath, it had been so long since you last saw him fully naked and standing tall in front of you. He was just as glorious as the first time, his strong body littered with scars, his posture proud and powerful like the statues of Mars in the temple. 
He smirked at the way your hungry eyes drifted across his body, from his wide shoulders, over his chest and down to where his heavy cock was rapidly growing. When he put his knee on the bed and crawled over your body, your insides squirmed and his grin widened. He knew the effect he was having on you and he planned on taking it slow on this first time as a married couple. 
“Domina…” he all but purred, lowering himself onto his forearms and caging you underneath him. You were still fully clothed and writhing with impatience as he dipped his mouth to your neck, his tongue slipping out to taste the sensitive skin under your ear, a wet kiss following. 
“Marcus…” you pleaded again as he moved further down your body, his hands caressing and kneading as his teeth nipped through the thin fabric of your stola. 
“Patience is a virtue, mi amor,” he replied, and you could hear the smile in his voice against your breasts. 
Your breath was coming in short huffs, and you struggled to stay still, as he reached the knot in your belt. He was kissing your body around the knot, through the fabric, his hands stroking your thighs, reaching up under the stola and grabbing at your hips. His body was nestled between your legs but still he wasn’t touching you where you needed him the most, and with an impatient whine, you arched yourself up against him, seeking any friction. 
Marcus growled, and grabbed both your hips, pinning you down with his weight, “Patience…” he smirked.
He began to mouth at the ornate knot in your belt, keeping you where he wanted you with a strong grip. The edge of the stola was pressed into your core by his firm chest and you could feel how you’d soaked through your undergarments already. With a moan you reached down and grabbed at Marcus’ bare shoulders, urging him to move faster even though you knew he was intent on taking it at his own slow pace tonight. 
When you glanced down to see him stretched out between your legs, you were met by the sight of the strong planes of his back working as he held you down, his teeth grabbing the knot and pulling it loose. With a wicked grin he flashed you a look, before he began to work the stola up over your hips, the belt falling loose to the sides.
He pushed up to his knees and pulled the stola with him, finally freeing you of it as it slipped over your head. With an impatient wave you tossed it over the side of the bed and reached up for Marcus again, willing him to kiss you and sink his hard cock into you, you could feel the heated drag of it over your thigh. But he ignored your hands, instead he grabbed your thighs and spread them, sinking down with his eyes fixed on your centre.
“Carissime, I’ve missed this sight,” he hummed, slowly dragging a finger through your slick folds, reaching the aching pearl at the top and circling it as he looked up at you. Your eyebrows were drawn together, your mouth open and panting. It made his cock twitch to see you so laid out for him, and with all the time in the world to pull you apart and make you cry his name in pleasure. 
Your warm thigh rested on his shoulder as he leaned in closer, brushing his nose over your soft curls and tasting the salty liquid. A shuddering breath left your lungs as you seemed to melt into the bed at the sensation, and Marcus licked a wide stripe up your centre, making you gasp again. 
His fingers spread you open, making more room for his tongue, and methodically he began to explore your cunt in earnest, taking the time he hadn’t had on the night of Bona Dea. Every sound you made, your whimpered pleas and moaned cries of his name, it made him try even harder, his own arousal aching and pressed against the bed. Your hands found his hair and he groaned when you pulled him closer, burying his face in your cunt, driving his tongue in as deep as he could while you made his nose rub against the swollen nub at the apex of your sex. 
“Marcus…please….” you panted, your skin flushed and hot as you felt yourself begin to crest the wave he was building up. 
“Carissime, you taste so good,” he mumbled into your flesh, moving his tongue up to lap at your most sensitive part, “so sweet and delicate, my wife’s perfect cunt.” 
With a deep breath he began to suck at the puffy button, his fingers digging into your thighs and pushing them wide, burying his face between your legs with a growl. 
His mouth seemed to be making red hot flames shoot out through your body, your hands tightening their grip on his curls as shockwaves rocked through your limbs. Crying out, you threw your head back, his name the only word you could muster and each lick and suck from Marcus brought fresh moans of pleasure from you until your throat felt raw and dry. He was working you into hysteria where all that existed was his mouth and the way he made your body sing. 
You pulled tight like a bow string and with a strangled cry of his name, you snapped, sobbing as Marcus continued to lick and suck at your cunt, clenching around nothing. Your body was begging for him to fill you up as the orgasm coursed through you, but your mind couldn’t find the words, there were only stars streaming across your field of vision as your body shook and trembled under his tongue. 
Panting hard you finally fell back against the bed, your taught body relaxing in Marcus grip and he gave your folds a few soft kisses before he pulled back. With a low chuckle, he nuzzled your thigh, trailing sticky kisses across the hot skin as he made his way up to lie next to you. 
“My sweet wife…are you still with me? Do you think you’re wet enough to take my cock now?” he smiled as he pressed kisses to your cheek and you wrapped your arms around his shoulders. Your body felt like liquid and Marcus chuckled again as you smiled back up at him with half closed eyes, unable to form a coherent response yet.  
“It seems I did a proper job as husband,” he said, letting you pull him closer, “Are you satisfied, wife?” 
“No, husband,” you replied, seeking his mouth out for a slow kiss, “You did good, but I know how good it feels to have you fill me up, and now nothing else will do.” 
Marcus smiled and caressed your cheek as he moved to cage you under his wide shoulders again, your arms around his neck. 
“I want to take you slowly, feel every part of it,” he said in a low voice as you spread your legs to make room for him, the weight of his cock pressed against your core, “feel your kisses when I fuck you deep into our bed, feel every tremble in your body as I fill you up again and again, keep you here underneath me until we forget everything except this.” 
He rolled his hips, the fat tip of his cock catching against your opening, making you both hiss. 
“Nothing exists except you, Marcus,” you whispered, cupping his face between your palms as he moved again. The head of his cock breached your tight hole and you could feel his jaws clench under your hands, a tight breath escaping him. 
“You feel so good, Marcus, amica meus,” you mumbled, caressing his soft beard, tracing your thumb over his plush lips. The feel of him slowly pushing inside made your core clench, your hips trying to rise up to meet him, but his heavy weight kept you pinned underneath him, your legs locked around his waist. With a groan he squeezed his eyes shut and drove himself in to the hilt, the liquid heat of your tight cunt closing around him. 
“Gods, domina…” he panted, “keep me in your bed and let me fuck you, let me always feel this tight cunt around my cock, it’s all I ask, and I’ll be the happiest man in the world…” he rambled. “So tight and wet and hot, my sweet wife’s cunt has me on my knees until it milks me dry…” 
He slid out and drove himself in again with a loud groan, his arms wrapping around your shoulders as he buried his face against your neck, “Goddess…” he moaned and you felt his mouth suck at your skin as he rocked himself into you, his cock filling you up and making you gasp every time he sheathed himself fully.  
Your hands grabbed at his back, his golden skin warm and damp to the touch as you dug your fingers into his tightly wound muscles. Over you he was unravelling, mumbling into your neck between kisses and bites, his control slipping as he continued to fuck you, lost in his own haze of lust. He came up for a deep breath of air and leaned his forehead against yours, his dark brown eyes locked on yours as his hips continued to thrust his hard cock into you, your breaths mingling as you both gasped at each impact. 
“Amica mea, I love you, my wife, I can’t believe you're finally my wife,” he mumbled, his hands gripping your shoulders and pulling you down on to him again and again. 
“I love you too. My husband,” you whispered between gasps, “amica meus, semper.” 
Marcus pressed his mouth to yours, his tongue slipping between your lips as he picked up his pace, and you squeezed your legs tight around his waist. The coarse hairs around his cock were rubbing against your swollen pearl, each slide making sparks ignite and shoot out all the way to your fingertips, even your toes were curling at the impact of his cock deep inside your weeping cunt. 
The pace grew frantic, Marcus groaned loudly, pressing his mouth against yours as his body began to tremble, he was gasping, slamming his cock into you, chasing his release as you cried out underneath him. He was hitting a new spot deep inside, new stars appeared in your field of vision but you tried to keep your eyes open and watch your husband as he began to come undone. His eyebrows pulled tight, his hips stuttering into yours, he dug his fingers almost painfully hard into your shoulders as he grimaced and cried out. With a loud shout he slammed into your cunt a final time, grinding deep inside as your own climax hit again. He rolled his hips over yours, milking himself and pushing you through each wave of pleasure as it washed over your bodies. 
He was heavy on top as he finally relaxed, his body hot and sticky with your arms and legs wrapped around him. He could feel your hands begin caress him, slowly bringing him back from the haze that had taken over his mind as he finally let go and fucked you as hard as he needed too. The heavy thumping of his heart echoed in his ears and he knew he should move, but you didn’t seem to mind his body pushing you into the mattress. So instead he turned his head and leaned his cheek against your chest, his softening cock slipping out, making him hiss. He felt you press a kiss to the top of his head, his hair damp, and your fingers raked carefully across his scalp. 
“You make me happy, Marcus,” you mumbled against his soft curls, “so happy.” 
He sighed against your warm skin, a long, content exhale, “Then I’m happy too, carissime.” 
With another sigh he pushed himself up on his forearms, smiling down at you underneath him. His hair was a halo of dark curls, his eyes soft and warm, and you cupped his cheeks and pulled him down for another kiss. Your lips felt swollen and tender but you still moaned with satisfaction when he licked into your mouth and deepened the kiss. It took several long moments before you both were satiated again and he carefully rolled off you and got out of the bed.  
“Let me clean us both off, I’m too tired to go to the thermae now,” he said, going over to the wash basin and picking up one of the washcloths. 
Your body felt loose and almost as if in a liquid state as he began to gently wipe the cool cloth over your skin. You hummed and smiled at him as he paid extra attention to the white liquid slowly dripping from between your legs. 
“Proud of your work, husband?” you teased him and he chuckled, running the cloth between your legs again and making sure to apply just a little bit too much pressure to your most sensitive area. You hissed and arched against his hand. 
“If I was a younger man, the sight would make me hard enough to do it again,” he replied, grabbing at your hips to make you spread your legs for him, “such a perfect cunt…”
He smiled at you and began to wipe himself down, running the cloth over his soft cock as you admired the sight. 
“Next time, I want to do that,” you said, watching as he pulled back the skin to clean himself. 
“Next time, I want your mouth around it,” he replied, and the look that he gave you, made heat shot through you again. 
Marcus grinned and tossed the washcloth to the side and crawled into bed, pulling the covers over you both this time. His body was warm and firm as he made space for you, his arms pulling you into his chest. 
“We have all the time in the world now, carissime,” he said, his lips close to yours as you looked up at him, “And I intended to make good on my promise to keep you in my bed night and day.” 
“I only have one more thing that’s going to make me leave this bed,” you said, smiling at his confused look and pressing your lips to his when he opened them to ask. 
“Later,” you mumbled, “now I want more kisses from my husband.” 
Marcus chuckled and you could feel the rumble in his chest, “Anything for you, wife.” 
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The people going about their daily business outside the great structure of Circus Maximus may have stopped and looked an extra time as the patrician carriage drew to a halt outside the wall of the nearby temple. The general who stepped out was dressed in his formal armour, the white and gold shimmering under the bright sky. The woman he helped down with a gentle hold on her hand, was dressed in a similarly rich stola, the veil loosely wrapped around her head but leaving her face bare. 
“Here we are, carissime,” Marcus said, putting his arm around your waist and leading you to the entrance of the temple, “I’ll be waiting outside, let Bona Dea know I’m forever her servant too and that I apologise for delaying our visit to her temple for a full two weeks.” 
“I will, my love,” you smiled at him, “And I’m sure she understands that newlyweds have trouble leaving the house. I only wish you could be allowed inside the temple too.” 
“The rules of Bona Dea must be obeyed,” he laughed, “I learnt that in the best way possible.” 
You laughed with him and gave him a quick peck on his smiling lips, before leaving him behind and entering the temple grounds. 
Alba followed close behind as the vestal virgin returned your bows, and then led you up the stairs and into the sacred rooms. In the package you carried were cakes and breads you’d made yourself that very morning, using the best ingredients that could be found in the market. Alba carried an amphora of olive oil, and one of wine, the finest Marcus had in his storage, and as you reached the great altar, you both placed your offerings on the ground. 
The priestesses began the rituals and you gazed up at the marble statue standing tall behind the altar. The cornucopia in her left arm was overflowing, a symbol of her generosity, and in her right was a bowl, a snake feeding from it, a sign of her healing powers. The goddess had certainly been both generous and healing when dealing with you and Marcus, and it was time to repay her and honour her influence. 
“I thought I was trapped in a loveless marriage for the rest of my life,” you said, looking up at Bona Dea, “No children to distract me, just a vile man who blamed me for my barren womb, and made me question why I should even wake up each morning. But you brought Marcus into my life and steered his actions, making it possible for us to be together as husband and wife. And for this, both him and I will forever be your most humble servants.” 
The priestess tossed the bread and the cakes into the sacrificial flames, making it hiss and spit as Bona Dea accepted your gifts. 
“And I have one final prayer for you, Bona Dea,” you said, kneeling down as Alba looked on in surprise. 
The cool marble of the floor was smooth under your forehead as you prostrated yourself fully at the feet of the goddess. You closed your eyes and sent up a silent prayer, the smoke of the sacrifice in your nose, the silence of the temple heavy in your ears. The gods had never spoken to you, but as you sent up your plea to the one who seemed to have seen you at your most miserable, and sent a saviour, a calm came over you, a sense of completion. 
You took a few deep breaths, holding back the tears that were threatening to spill, and then sat up onto your heels. 
“Thank you.” 
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The sunlight was still sharp as you left the temple, and you pulled up your veil to shield your eyes. Marcus was standing next to the carriage with his hands clasped behind his back, his posture straight. You had come to recognise this as his ‘public persona’, the powerful general who expected everyone to obey him. In private, he softened whenever you were near, and became the Marcus you loved more with every minute that passed.
“Carissime,” he smiled as you and Alba came out from the temple gates, “all done?” 
“Yes, husband, the goddess accepted our sacrifice and the priestesses seemed most pleased with the generous contribution.” 
You took his hand and held him back as Alba stepped into the carriage. 
“Bona Dea has given us another gift,” you whispered, and he raised his eyebrows in question as he leaned closer to you. 
“Another gift?” he asked and you brought his hand to the front of your stola, his eyes widening. 
“I always thought I was barren, but now someone grows inside me thanks to her healing powers.”
Marcus stepped closer, his arms going around your waist as he pressed his palm across your belly as if he could already feel the heartbeat of the child within. 
“Truly?” he whispered, his wide eyes filled with hope. 
“I’ve missed my courses twice since our first night, it’s still early days, but yes, truly,” you smiled up at him. 
“Carissime…” he whispered again, bringing his hands up to cup your face, pressing his lips to yours, “I thought I couldn’t be happier but now I feel like my heart will explode.” 
He pulled back a little, you could feel tears spilling over and rolling onto your cheeks, and he wiped at them with his thumbs. 
“Are you happy, amica mea?” 
“Yes, Marcus, you make me very happy,” you smiled through your tears, “And it makes me even happier to have a new family with you.”
“A new family,” he hummed, pressing kisses to your face and lips, “a new family with my beautiful wife and our beautiful child.” 
He smiled and kissed you again before taking your hand, “Now let me take you home and spoil you rotten while you care for our child, she already holds my heart in her tiny hands.” 
“‘She’?” you asked curiously, and Marcus laughed, a bright smile lighting his eyes. 
“I’m certain Bona Dea will give me a daughter as beautiful and strong as her mother, so that I can live the rest of my life worshipping two incredible women,” he replied, still smiling, “That will be my lot in life, my heart held captive by the two of you.” 
“You are the most wonderful husband and you will make the most wonderful father, Marcus,” you said, tears welling up in your eyes again as Marcus smiled and wiped your cheeks. 
“My sweet wife, carissime,” he said, placing his palm on your belly again, his touch gentle and warm as if he was already cradling his daughter, “I would give up every title the emperors have bestowed on me only to keep two.” 
He kissed your left cheek and then the right, his soft lips brushing gently over your tears. 
“Your husband, and her father.” 
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Tagging some lovely people who showered the first four parts with love: @gothcsz @missladym1981 @txlady37 @timelordfreya @bluesweaters15
@indiegirlunited @jessthebaker @likeficinthewnd @mysterious-moonstruck-musings @inept-the-magnificent
@angiewatson @wintersquirrel @sheepdogchick3 @asobeeee @harriedandharassed @cozylittlepigeon
@i-own-loki @pedrit0-pascalit0 @lady-bess
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max1461 · 2 days ago
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@deaths-accountant I will, if I remember, think carefully about your thought experiment and respond to it soon (although I will probably change some details so that it is less similar to current events because I don't want people to misunderstand the nature of the discussion and get mad at me), but, in the mean time, here is a counter-thought-experiment for you:
Suppose there is a guy Bob, currently hanging out in the heavenly realm or whatever, and he is presented by an angel with the following choice:
Bob will be born into the world, and live an ordinary-seeming life. Over the course of his life, the net utility (under whatever form of utilitarianism you endorse; hedonic, preferential, etc.) which he contributes to everyone else in the world besides himself will be 0. In other words, the people of the world (not including him) will be no better off nor worse off for his being born. However, he himself, under the same conception of utility, will receive -ε net utils. He will have N (for reasonable large N) utils worth of joys, triumphs, etc., and -(N+ε) utils worth of pains, failures and so on. Thus, he will live a net-negative life.
Bob will not be born into the world, he will cease to exist.
Implicitly I'm discounting here all the thoughts and feelings that Bob experiences here in the heavenly realm before he is born (or not) as irrelevant, but if you don't feel comfortable with this you can just adjust the numbers so that the net utility of each choice comes out as intended above.
It is possible, I think, that in light of the above choice, Bob would select (2) and cease to exist. But I think it's also possible that Bob would say "no, I'll take (1), I want to have the joys and triumphs even if there turn out also to be a greater number of failures and losses". In particular, I am almost certain that I would choose (1), and not just for fear of death (the above scenario is an abstraction of choices that I have actually made, where no risk of death was involved).
The question is: would it be moral for the angel to override Bob here, "for his own good", and choose (2) for him?
By construction a utilitarian has to say yes. If ε is small the utilitarian might say "well, it's not a very big deal; the normative force behind overriding Bob and choosing (2) is low". But I can think of scenarios in which I would chose (1) even if (I believed that) ε was pretty significant, where this excuse doesn't work.
Also consider for instance... the archetype of the starving artist. The man who is committed to producing his Great Work even at significant cost to himself. Suppose that he has made many sacrifices in order to hone his craft, he's given up financial success and a social life, he lives in the mountains and, you know, carves statue after statue in pursuit of perfection. Suppose that he can rationally conclude that, when (if) he does complete his masterpiece, the satisfaction will be relatively small in the face of all the sacrifices he's made. I mean, yeah, he'll be happy, he'll feel fulfilled and genuinely, deeply satisfied. But on a literal, summative level, that just won't add up to the lifetime of late nights, missed opportunities for social connection, etc., either in terms of net pleasure or net preference satisfaction or whatever. But suppose also that on the day to day level he doesn't feel miserable, he's not suffering. He's toiling in pursuit of a deeply held personal goal, and it feels... well, "good" isn't always the word. But he is plenty motivated to keep going; he's out here in the mountains of his own accord. The fact that he judges that at the end of his life the utility tally won't come up positive for him doesn't weigh on him much. "Why should I care about some number?" he says. "Maybe I'd be net happier if I went out on the town and found a wife and settled down, but I don't want to do that. I want to complete my Great Work."
Is this artist doing something immoral by living his life the way he has? Would it be moral for a third party to step in and prevent him from pursuing his endeavors?
In both of these thought experiments, my extremely strong intuition is that the answer is "no", making choices for other people "for their own good" in this way is not moral. But this seems like a necessary consequence of any kind of utilitarianism, so I can't get behind utilitarianism.
The starving artist example gets to a more fundamental issue, too. I kept saying things like "he really wants to complete his Great Work, and it will make him very satisfied, but he will be more net satisfied if he gives up on that and lives a normal life". Well... what the hell does "net satisfied" mean? How do you measure the strength of a preference? He "really wants" to complete his Great Work, and materially that corresponds to a certain neural state, but how do you put a number on that neural state which is fungible with the numbers you put on all the other neural states of human life? You run into this problem in both hedonic and preference utilitarianism, because "preference" is a neural phenomenon. Is there even a well-defined abstraction here, is there even a coherent thing to which "preference strength" can possibly refer? Maybe, but I don't know that there is. And the problem is that if you pick the wrong abstraction, if you pick the wrong way of getting a fungible quantity out of a fundamentally non-numerical arrangement of matter, then what you have doesn't correspond to "ethics" anymore, right, it lacks normative force. It's just some number.
This is why I say that utilitarian-ish ethics are fine on the large scale, they're fine for the policy maker or the economist, who for methodological reasons simply needs to pick an ok enough abstraction on run with it. But on the scale of individual humans, individual minds, and what it "really means" to treat people right, I don't think utilitarianism can possibly hold up.
I might have made this exact post before somewhere, if so apologies for repeating myself.
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unicyclehippo · 2 days ago
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For bishova: regret
it would be stupid to think she knew anything about yelena from one—a mostly masked fight on a rooftop, and two—a conversation slash interrogation (?) in her burned-up apartment but when the widow took the seat next to her in the booth where she had been drowning her sorrows, a bottle of top shelf vodka in her hand, kate couldn’t help thinking maybe the other girl was being nice.
but what the fuck did she know? she hadn’t even know her mom was a mob boss or whatever.
‘what do you want?’
‘to drink,’ yelena said calmly.
kate kept her head low. no one in a bar like this cared who she was—hopefully, though maybe she was risking it by patronising a dive bar, maybe her mom had double-crossed or pressured or stole from or threatened everyone in here.
kate didn’t tell yelena to leave but she didn’t say anything more. just sat and rolled a quarter over her knuckles again and again and again and again and—
‘you are not being a very welcoming friend, kate bish—‘
‘don’t,’ kate growled. out of the corner of her eye, she saw the assassin smirk. she probably sounded like a toothless puppy to her. she was a fucking joke. ‘just don’t. okay? sit and drink or go away.’
yelena sat. she poured a measure into one shot glass and pushed it in front of kate, who blinked down at it.
‘what—did you bring your own novelty shot glasses to a bar?’ she couldn’t think of another reason she’d have an Alice In Wonderland themed glass.
kate let the quarter clatter to the tabletop and traded it for the little glass, lifted it up to make sure.
DRINK ME, it said, with a cheshire grin.
yelena didn’t smile like that but when kate finally looked at her, properly, she was pretty sure the glint in her eyes was the assassin’s version of it.
‘yes. mine is even better. see?’
kate didn’t look down.
‘does it say hot sauce?’
‘it says hot sauce.’ yelena smiled toothily. ‘a funny thing to put on a shot glass, yes?’
‘yeah.’ kate mustered a dry sigh. ‘yeah, it’s - that’s funny.’
‘you are not amused. you are either not a funny person, kate—which i know is not true—or you are not paying attention to my very funny glass.’
yelena threw her shot back.
kate should look away. kate should not find it very attractive, the way yelena shook her hair back and swallowed the shot, licked a drop from the corner of her mouth. the line of her throat. kate should not have got her mom arrested. kate should not be upset about getting her mom arrested. kate should be stalwart and true and brave and—
yelena tapped the table. ‘drink.’
‘don’t tell me what to do,’ kate snapped, overly harsh.
the only sign that yelena noticed was her slow blink. then the assassin scoffed.
‘so rude, kate! here i am, bringing the “good stuff”, and you won’t drink? this is very hurtful. i am hurt!’ yelena insisted, hand to heart.
she was lying, of course. she had some spin, some angle, something she was trying to get out of her or do and kate didn’t have to play along this time! it wasn’t any of her business! except that yelena was here, of course, but what did that mean?
kate scowled down at her drink. she hadn’t even finished the mostly-foam beer the bartender had shoved into her hand, pint sticky with the drink that slopped over the edge. or from the drink before. which was gross but. whatever. she wished she’d drunk more. wished yelena hadn’t shown up yet but when she was a more respectable nine drinks in, which would be a real excuse for not knowing what angle yelena was working this time, for how muddled kate’s thoughts were.
an ache punched up into the soft of her brain, the headache (concussion?) kate had been ignoring for the last hour. she let out an unsteady breath and picked up the quarter again. squeezed it until that hurt more than her head.
‘did you poison it?’
yelena turned so she could lean an elbow on the table, prop her head against her hand. kate watched out of the corner of her eye as the other girl smiled very sweetly.
‘no.’
‘drug it?’
‘no.’
‘steal it?’
‘no.’
kate sighed.
‘fuck it. thanks.’
she drank.
the vodka hit the back of her throat first. then she tasted it; it tasted like the time she swore her head off and her mom told her to wash her mouth out with soap and she’d done it because—
‘another,’ kate rasped, and coughed.
yelena poured her another. when kate drank that one too, she said,
‘you did not strike me as this kind of girl.’
heat poured through kate, stomach out. it was nice. it was always so cold in new york. not the real kind of cold kept at bay with a good coat, and kate always had a good coat and boots she never slipped because her mom always got her the best stuff and scolded her when she tried to slide across a big patch of ice. new york was cold because there were so many people here but none of them were hers. and yet. here was yelena. and vodka. and kate was warm.
her tongue felt warm too, which was weird. maybe the drink was drugged. she didn’t think she cared at this point.
‘what kinda girl?’
‘the kind to sit in dirty bars and drink alone.’
kate considered that seriously. yelena’s words felt as smoky as her voice and the meanings kept slipping through her fingers. how strong was that vodka?
‘me neither,’ she confessed. ‘but before today did you think i was the kinda girl to get my mom arrested?’ it struck her as funny. it was funny! because, guess what, she is!
‘i was not sure,’ yelena said. ‘but i am not that surprised. it was fifty-fifty, yes?’
fifty-fifty chance she’s a bad daughter or a bad hero. great odds. fucking fantastic.
‘you are having regret.’
kate eyed her empty shot glass.
‘i will give you another when you answer my question.’
kate grinned. leaned closer to her drinking buddy. ‘so this—‘ she patted yelena’s shoulder—and was sober enough to see the frown that earned her to remember not to do that again—‘this is an interrogation, huh? okay.’ she leaned closer. ‘i wish you hadn’t told me.’
yelena narrowed her eyes. read kate like an open book. easier—like words on a clear shot glass.
‘you do not mean that.’
kate shrugged. she wasn’t so sure. she nudged her shot glass closer to yelena. ‘any more questions or will you be a good drinking buddy and top me up, romanoff?’
she thought yelena wanted to say something for a second, as she sat back in the seat and tilted her head. but then yelena only poured her another drink and kate thought better of it. what the fuck did she know? not her mom. and certainly not yelena.
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justsomerandomfanfic · 2 days ago
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Star-Crossed Lovers - Eddie Munson X GN Reader
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Title: Star-Crossed Lovers
Eddie Munson X GN Reader
Additional Characters: The Hellfire Club mentioned
WC: 1,353
Warnings: Teasing, banter, flirting, italics, nicknames, and fluff
The stars seemed so bright. Sparkling and glittering up high in the sky. You thought that maybe, if you reached out, you could grab one. 
It was finally the weekend. No worrying about school, or Eddie’s club meetings that you’d join sometimes. Honestly, you loved watching them all play - pure, entertaining chaos, you couldn’t get enough of it really. And, no worrying about any responsibilities except for the dishes you’d need to do tomorrow morning. 
You sighed, feeling content as you lay beside Eddie, both of you staring up at the endless sky. Eddie was quiet, his eyes fixed on the stars, their light reflecting in his eyes. There was a calm silence between you, which was very rare, considering Eddie loved to talk; and you loved listening to him talk.
“What constellations do you know?” Your gentle voice broke through the silence, mixing in with the sound of crickets chirping and the soft evening breeze flowing by occasionally.
“Constellations?” Eddie asked, the level of his voice matching yours as he raised one of his hands, pointing up at the sky, “Well, uh, that’s the Big Dipper.” He spoke, circling his index finger in the air in the constellation's general direction. “And that one,” He moved his finger down a bit, “That’s the Little Dipper.” Dropping his hand, he continued, “I used to think they were spoons when I was a kid.” His chuckle reverberated throughout his chest, your head - resting on his chest - shaking a bit as he did so.
“Big Spoon and Little Spoon? I think that is pretty common.” Your eyes drooped every now and then as Eddie’s fingers on his other hand ran through your hair, slow and soothing - drawing his fingers in, and slowly pulling out, strands of your hair lifting in the air before falling back down. You only had one word for his incredibly needed and wanted ministrations; heavenly. 
“Yeah, maybe,” He muttered, his hand that had been pointing up at the sky pulled at the grass below the both of you, pulling up blades of grass. “What about you?” He then asked, “What constellations do you know?”
“Oh, a few,” You mused, trying to focus your gaze up at the stars, trying to spot any others aside from the big and small dippers. “You should know, since I have told you about most of them before.” You spoke, only for Eddie to chuckle softly again.
“Yeah, I know.” He paused his blade-pulling, “I just want to hear you say them again.” Eddie's voice was low, almost playful as his eyes glinted with that familiar mischief under the dim moonlight. “I like the sound of your voice, babe.”
“Oh, dear,” You bit your lip briefly, rolling your eyes, “Always such a flirt.”
“Only for you.” Eddie answered back, before the hand in your hair paused, slipping from your hair and his hand suddenly came into view. You watched, biting your lip again to hold in your giggles as Eddie reached out and booped you on the nose. “Now, what's that one with the belt?” He asked, now repeatedly booping your nose over and over again, ultimately making you let out your laugh.
“Orion,” You laughed out, raising your hand from your stomach to take his hand, guiding it right back in your hair; you couldn’t see, but you could almost sense Eddie’s all-knowing smirk appearing on his face at your action. “Well, from what I was told. Orion, confident in his hunting skills, boasted that he would kill every animal on Earth. Upset by this, Gaea - the Earth goddess, I’ve told you about her - sent a scorpion to stop him. After Orion's death, Zeus placed both Orion and the scorpion among the stars as constellations.”
You felt Eddie nodding, “Serves him right.” 
You couldn’t stop the smirk from slipping onto your face, “Well, then there is also Camelopardalis.” You said, without a single stutter, the word came easy to you… But to your boyfriend…
“Oh yeah,” Eddie sighed, “I’m not even going to try again with that one.”
“Oh? Camelopardalis?” You clasped your hands together in your lap, growing more and more amused as Eddie sighed dramatically.
“Yeah, yeah. I say it once and you’ll hold it against me until the end of time.” You laughed, raising a hand to cover your mouth slightly.
You grinned, “Well, it is only Camelopar-” Before you could even finish, Eddie once again slipped his hand out from your hair and covered your mouth. And without another thought, you licked his palm.
Eddie froze for a second, then pulled his hand back, “Ew, gross!” He exclaimed, wiping his hand - again, dramatically - on his ripped jeans, but a grin broke out across his face. “Did you just lick me, babe? Wow, I didn’t know we were playing that kind of game.” You couldn’t help but laugh, a leg even kicking up slightly as you held both your hands on your stomach; having a mini laugh-attack. His smirk deepened, adding with a low chuckle, "But licking, babe? Kinda weird, kinda hot.” His hot breath tickling your temple as he turned his head, “I’m into it." He whispered, husky and absolutely making your cheeks flush. 
“Eddie!” You continued to laugh, raising a hand to jokingly hit his own stomach, “You’re impossible.” As your laughter died down, you and Eddie both slowly slipped back into that comfortable silence, Eddie returning to play with your hair, and you returning to pointing out constellations. “One of my other favorite stars is actually on Orion’s shoulder. It’s called Betelgeuse.” You spoke, your tone returning to a more soft one as you raised a hand to point at the supergiant star. 
Eddie said nothing, only raising his free hand to join yours in the sky. Slowly, his fingertips ghosted up along the back of your hand, before he intertwined his fingers with yours. You sighed, watching the moonlight glint off of his many rings, feeling an overwhelming wave of absolute adoration and love wash over you in that moment. Eddie took your hand into his, pulling it down to brush kisses along the back of your hand, his lips gradually moving to pepper more kisses to your wrist and the soft skin of your knuckles. 
“Keep going, babe,” You then heard him mutter in between his many, many kisses. 
“I don’t think I can keep going,” You spoke, almost breathlessly, your heart racing with every gentle touch of his lips against your skin.
“Just what I thought - my kisses have left you speechless!” He teased, rubbing his chilled nose against your hand, “I guess I should be flattered that I have this kind of effect on you.”
Worrying on your bottom lip, you suddenly shifted. Raising, and turning, you pressed your not-currently-occupied-hand onto the grass beside Eddie’s head; propping yourself up as you looked down at him. ‘So handsome.’ You thought, tilting your head slightly. ‘My Eddie Spaghetti.’
Eddie's smirk softened slightly as he noticed the way you were looking at him, and he could feel his heart begin to race. The warmth of your gaze - flickering across all of his features - made him feel vulnerable yet exhilarated. After a quick moment, your eyes finally met his, your voice coming out as a soft whisper, both in meaning and volume, “You always have that effect on me, Eddie.” Eddie’s cheeks burned at your confession, leaving him a bit taken aback. With his dark eyes searching yours, there was a want to reach out and trace the curve of the bridge of your nose, or your jaw, or even brush along your cheeks. But, Eddie just raised his hand, his fingers gently weaving through your hair as he pulled you closer.
The distance between you vanished, his nose briefly bumping against yours before his soft lips molding with yours. The kiss was tender and intimate, his lips brushing against yours in a sweet, lingering caress. The world around you faded away, leaving just the two of you in that moment.
And in that moment, you wished for nothing more. Just you, and Eddie, together beneath a canopy of stars. 
---
Main Masterlist | Stranger Things Masterlist
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99pansy · 2 days ago
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ss/mayo blogspot lore + frerard theory
hi I'm about to drop some insane lore that I don't think a lot of mcr fans/frerard theorists know about. this isn't discussed often so I figured I should write about it here before all the evidence is lost to time.
this is probably gonna be a long one so buckle in! i have gathered as much evidence here as possible but there's no way to be certain about anything. i'm trying to maintain as much journalistic integrity as i can throughout this post (also trying super hard not to insert my opinion too much) because i think a lot of this speaks for itself.
so i have a pretty significant frerard theory but i have to give a lot of backstory and documentation for it to fully make sense. this will not be in chronological order (to best suit the narrative) but i hope it makes sense
many people know about frank's F.T. Willz endeavors which have been proven as him in recent years. however, "ss" or "shitsubou shita" was another blog he had before this which is not widely known
around 2007, there was a major theory in the fandom that gerard and frank were running secret blogspot accounts where they'd post journals, poetry, etc. frank's account was iamthemodernprometheus.blogspot.com and gerard's supposed account was its-mayonaise.blogspot.com. both accounts are still up, though i'm not sure if any posts have since been deleted. this probably sounds crazy so i'll explain everything!
evidence for frank as SS/shitsubou-shita/iamthemodernprometheus
i strongly believe this was frank's personal blog, but you can come to your own conclusions based on this info
frank's supposed original blogspot handle was "shitsubou-shita." once fans realized this was his account, he deleted it pretty much immediately. you can read some fan discussion about the fall out from this in a comment thread here. this comment thread will be linked a few times in this post because most of the screenshots on this post originate from there.
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apparently *frank* was posting some very personal thoughts/feelings on this blog that he did not want to be discovered. i'll go over some of the deleted posts in a minute, but first i need to give more a little more context.
at the same time the blog is found, someone comments "your fired" on a recent post. apparently some fans thought the comment looked strangely out of place, and it was one of the last comments left before the account's deletion, on one of the final posts made.
this will be relevant later on, and we'll get into the account's posts soon.
my theory is that someone on the "inside" could have found his personal blog and tried spooking him, which could have been the final straw for him. or, the account being deleted could be completely unrelated to the weird comment. all of this can be found here (same link i posted previously)
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months after deleting their blog, shitsubou shita begins posting under a new url "iamthemodernprometheus" (but still under the pen name "shitsubou shita" or "ss" as fans called him)
in his new blog, and similarly to F.T. Willz years later, he still leaves plenty of crumbs for fans to figure out it's him. screenshot sources are below
latin heading: his page had a latin heading that when translated, reads "keep the faith"
bio on blogspot: "industry - chemicals", and "you dont stop playing cos you get old…you get old cos you stop playing" both sound suspiciously personal to frank
his url choice: "the modern prometheus" is the full title of mary shelley's frankenstein. frankenstein is a character that frank has always deeply resonated with due to his namesake, love of horror, and being born on halloween
spelling of wierd: SS and frank both spell "weird" as "wierd"
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i think he enjoyed the mystery of having a secret online persona, which eventually led to the creation of F.T. Willz in 2008. it seems like wanted to leave just enough evidence for people to suspect it was him, but not enough to prove it.
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here are some snippets of 2007 era discourse about the identity of "ss" and their deleted blog. you can find all of these comments and more context here. this was around the time gerard got married and fans felt like the dynamic on stage was different, and they were concerned about the future of the band. it's a LOT to go over so i would advise reading the comments if you want more perspective
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on the next page, an anonymous comment is posted which fans immediately begin to speculate is SS (frank). again, if you click the link you can get way more context than i'm able to provide here.
this insinuates that SS frequented the comments on mayo's blog, which i don't think he would have done without believing/knowing mayo is gerard
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there was a lot discussed in this thread including pretty solid evidence that frank/ss wrote the ancient and historic "eliza post"
if you are not aware of the eliza cuts drama, that's a totally different and equally as insane rabbit hole you'll have to research on your own
tldr; she is gerard's mentally unstable ex-fiance who he was engaged to very shortly before lindsey
gerard and eliza got engaged on may 22, 2007 (the last show of the black parade tour) according to this reddit comment.
the "eliza post" went up on june 4, 2007. here is the post in its entirety:
"Hi I felt I had to write to you guys to allay some of your fears regarding the rumours and speculation surrounding Gerard and Eliza and the future of the band. This is the only time I will ever post. I will not be able to respond to your comments or enter into discussion or debate on what I'm about to say. We are aware that this is one of the most popular message boards for MCR fans and we know you guys are the most dedicated and loyal fans in the world. It saddens me to see such division amongst the fans over one woman. If it's any consolation, you guys are not the only ones affected. She is merely tolerated by both band and crew. Believe me, nothing anyone can say will change his mind. She's been the cause of numerous conflicts and while we dont have to like it, we have to accept it, at least for the forseeable future. From day one this woman has had a hidden agenda - her manipulation knows no bounds. Some of you may find this difficult to believe but I assure you I have personally witnessed the two sides of this woman. Her so-called 'good deeds' are nothing more than PR exercises for his benefit. But he does not see what goes on behind closed doors. We have tried to draw his attention to her blatant self-promotion and diva demands. This is a prime example of love being blind. His feelings for her do run very deep. Her feelings for him, however, are questionable at best. Many people believe, including myself, that he is being used as nothing more than a stepping stone. It's disheartening to see someone you care about and have worked with for a very long time change as a person, becoming more detached and causing the group dynamic to change as a result. There have been conflicts and differences of opinions and compromises have had to be made She does not accompany the band on the European legs of the tour. Since being on this current European leg, he seems much happier which suggest she doesnt make him as happy as he thinks. Despite being asked more than once to remain discreet, she blatantly disregards his wish to keep his personal life private by continually fuelling the internet hype. The band has always been about the music and the fans. This will not change. MCR have never endorsed any type of clique as it encourages and promotes the kind of high school mentality that MCR have always fought against. Your continued support is appreciated and rest assured this woman will have no adverse affect on the band and the music. For obvious reasons I am remaining anonymous. Eliza, we know you trawl these message boards and you probably know who I am - but I'd like to see you try and prove it!!!"
it's clear that whoever wrote this had a very strong distaste for eliza and was deeply troubled by the idea of gerard marrying her. based on the language used and style of writing, i strongly believe frank wrote this post. i'll be circling back to this in a minute, because i have a little more to go over.
for more evidence that SS is frank, we can reference this reddit comment made just 9 months ago by someone heavily involved in the blogspot community at the time, kapunua. their username on this post is "ReallyKapu."
if you read through the comment links I provided earlier, you may see their name pop up. they are also mentioned by name on the "iamthemodernprometheus" blog. if you also search "kapunua mcr" on google, you can verify their involvement in the blogspot community at the time.
kapunua is also mentioned in its-mayonaise's post here (no screenshot provided for this one, its just a small mention)
there's also a screenshot of a different comment kapunua made about 9 years ago with similar information. i found the screenshot here.
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evidence that "mayo" is gerard
as mentioned in the post above, mayo often used british english syntax in his posts. he also posted about some pretty juicy stuff including a blowjob poem (you can seek that out yourself)
using british english isn't out of the ordinary for gerard. he often used an accent on stage during this time. moreover, he is a writer who has written multiple characters with this type of accent, showing he has a certain appeciation for it. i think his persona for the "mayo" account could been a sort of character he put on to disguise his idenity.
if you decide to view mayo's blog, you'll see each post has nothing but comments from mcr fans exclusively. i find it very interesting that the writer of its-mayonaise never bothered to make a post saying "hey, btw, i'm not gerard" in the 4 years this blog was run for
we have somewhat less definitive evidence that gerard is mayo. however, it is clear that at the very least, they had to have been someone involved with MCR or their crew at the time.
mayo makes a post alluding to their identity here, which you can find in the first screenshot below. this section sounds a lot like something gerard would write:
"I have been asked to reveal myself to you. You all know me. I am whoever you want me to be, I am an artist, a poet, a singer, a motherfucker, and a contradiction, a mouthpiece, a friend, and an enemy, a brother, an informant, a whipping boy, a basket case, a queen, and a criminal...(credit to John Hughes.)"
there are THOUSANDS of comments, many of which speculate the identity of mayo on each of his blogspot posts. you should definitely do your own detective work and see what you think, because there is far too much info to go through here.
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a frerard theory
as i previously mentioned, frank had deleted his original blog for shitsubou-shita in late september. however, prior to this, he made and then deleted some particularly turbulent and questionable posts
for context, the frerard fight happened on august 22, 2007, and gerard and lindsey got married on september 3, 2007 (just four months after gerard was engaged to eliza)
gerard and lindsey are married on the last night of the projekt revolution tour.
mcr takes a break for one month after this, where we can probably safely assume that freshly-married gerard and frank did not plan on seeing one another.
i think this was very troubling for frank for many different reasons. gerard had just freed himself of the eliza situation and here he was making the same mistake again. he was on the verge of losing his dearest friend yet again, and i believe that despite his best efforts, he could not get through to gerard.
obviously, gerard and lindsey are still married to this day. however, many fans might be aware of what happened between her and mikey. there's also a lot of other questionable information about lindsey circling the web, but that's a different story for another time.
weeks later, similarly to the eliza situation, shitsubou-shita makes and deletes the following posts on his original blog (this was prior to the creation of iamthemodernprometheus):
Friday, September 21, 2007 Abandon hope, all who enter here... What the fuck happened? Why didn't I see this coming? I made a point to keep out of it this time, but at what cost? I'm trapped between a rock and a hard place, it's a lose/lose situation. I've always been honest with you, shouldn't that work both ways? What's with the double standards? People are starting to notice. I'm not talking about kids, I'm talking about people in their mid 20's and 30's. People with life experience who can see the cracks starting to show. What am I supposed to say? I just dont have the answers. How can I reassure them when I need reassurance myself?
he says "i made a point to keep out of it this time" which seems like a reference to the situation with eliza i mentioned previously. he alludes to the idea that fans are beginning to notice the band's dynamic is not the same anymore. this was specifically around the time when "frerard" moments came to a pretty abrupt end.
he says "i've always been honest with you, shouldn't that work both ways?" which can be interpreted in a few different ways. he may feel deceived due to his best friend's sudden marriage. however, the intensity of the language used in this post shows he probably had some very intense feelings toward the situation.
it seems like the writer was having a considerably difficult time coping with these feelings. a day later, this post is made:
Saturday, September 22, 2007 Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. Bullshit. I've always been a smart ass, even as a child, although my mom would prefer to use the term precocious. I've always had trouble keeping my mouth shut, I'm an open book, completely ingenuous - secrecy and circumvention are not my style. But then I've never experienced extreme paranoia. So I'm writing this blog. I know you will never read it, I wouldn't want you to. Not everything is about you. This blog is for ME, a perverse catharsis, I need this right now to preserve the small amount of sanity I have left. A blog fuelled by disappointment, frustration, confusion and dejection. I am not laying the blame at your door. The burden of blame is mine. I didn't speak up soon enough. I didn't want to rock the boat, I've been there before. I didn't want to fight or endure days of being given the silent treatment. Its not fair on the others. Why do you always make everyone feel like they have to take sides? If I had been a better friend, I would have stepped in regardless of the consequences. I acted selfishly because I didn't want to lose you, but ironically, I may have lost you anyway. I meant every word I said at the diner and although I didnt show it, your smirk and glib response hurt me more than you will ever know. I don't know who you are anymore. I cant seem to find the right words. Nothing I say seems to reach you. You are wrong. I DO care. I love you. I refuse to give up on you and I refuse to let you push me away. I am going to fight for our friendship, you aren't the only one with a stubborn streak. We are in this together, for the long haul, I promise. I want my friend back. I miss him.
it seems like whatever the writer is feeling toward the subject of this post goes beyond the boundaries of a typical friendship. the final paragraph says everything we need to know.
we can assume that based on this post's mention of meeting a diner, that frank and gerard likely met up during their month-long break to talk about the way things went down
lastly, i know there's at least one interview floating or blog post around where frank says he was a difficult teen and a pain in the ass as a kid, but i can't find it right now. if anyone has the link to that i would love to add it here, because i remember it sounding pretty similar to that first paragraph.
Sunday, September 23, 2007 Is the pen really mightier than the sword? And so you continue to blog, as do I. The difference is, I am not hurting anyone. I'm just trying to gain some perspective while you are publicly making a fool of yourself. Your words are hungrily devoured and dissected by the masses, you seem to revel in the chaos and controversy. At the moment your identity is pure speculation, but have you thought about the consequences if anyone was able to prove your identity? Not just for you, but for all of us? Have you lost your mind? How can you be so selfish? You have become a self obsessed megalomaniac. I know what I get out of writing my blogs - but what do you get out of writing yours? Do you even bother to read the comments? Some of those comments break my heart. These aren't just nameless, faceless strangers, these are real people with real lives and real feelings. These are the people that allowed us to bring our music into their lives. These are the people that we see on tour, the people that wait outside for hours in the cold and rain just to meet us, the people that write us letters and make us scrapbooks, the people who care enough to bake us cookies and brownies, the people that send us birthday cards and bizarre, crazy ass gifts, the people that have given us their love and support, the people that cheer us on, the people that made us. Why are you so hellbent on destroying not only yourself, but everyone who loves you? You wanna see how far down I can sink? Your mom called last night - and I lied to her. After everything she has done for us, I lied to her. How do you think that made me feel? Do you even care?
this last post, for me, solidifies the identities behind each blog. it is so clear through the details in this post. to me, it seems like frank was hurting so bad, and in such a vulnerable place, that he completely let his guard down and made this post.
the mcr lyric included "You wanna see how far down I can sink?" is undoubtedly mind-boggling and speaks volumes to how carelessly obvious frank was (maybe intentionally?) willing to be
there's so much to unpack in this post and i honestly can't even begin to wrap my head around it. i would love to hear anyone's opinion!
later in the post, it seems clear that he is referencing the iam-mayonaise blog and gerard's seemingly wreckless posting. but mostly, i think he was lashing out due to pain of betrayal after losing the closest person to him and someone he deeply loves not once, but twice.
again, it's hard to believe how obvious he was being here, but i really think it was a result of the pain/suffering he felt
if you scroll back up to the first screenshot of this post, you can circle back around to when he removed his entire profile after making this final post, eventually rebranding to "iamthemodernprometheus"
the its-mayonaise account makes this post on september 30, seemingly as a response. the title could apply to frank, who as we all know, was gerard's best friend and right-hand man. the rest of this post can be interpreted in many different ways, so you can make whatever you want out of it:
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however, the last paragraph does give me pause... i would love to see/create a full analysis of this post, but i'm trying to stick to facts here so you can form your own judgement
after gerard's wedding and mcr's month long break, they play two shows in mexico (oct 4 & 7, 2007) and then the hoboken show takes place, where frank yells "lie to me" during i'm not okay and seems very low energy and unlike himself
i believe things gradually improved between them after this point, but i'm not sure if their connection was ever completely the same.
conclusion/my opinion
coupled with all of the other available evidence about gerard/frank's tumultuous friendship/relationship/situationship, i think this information strongly alludes to the idea that at the very least, frank had some very intense feelings for gerard that were not fully reciprocated. i would love to hear what anyone else's opinion is on this topic, because it definitely isn't discussed often
i think it's completely heartbreaking (especially with everything else we know) but i do think their incredible connection is a massive contributing factor to mcr's legacy
if you notice any inconsistencies in this post or have any questions, please send me a message! i want to keep this as consistent, comprehensible, and well-sourced as i can!
lastly please follow me if you liked this! i spent months researching and compiling sources for this post and i would so appreciate it <3
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midnight-mourning · 2 days ago
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DCA Promptober Day 30: Birthday
I have chosen violence with all of my promptober responses, this one is no different. That being said, hope you enjoy!
Word count: 1531
🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃
"Robots can't have birthdays, silly!"
You set down the box you're carrying, glancing up to Sun, "You don't think?"
"Of course not," He scolds, pulling out another strand of streamers to hang up, "We're not born, we're made!"
You pull a bag of balloons out of the box, "Yeah, but still, there was a point where you didn't exist, and now you do. I'd still consider that a birthday."
Sun seems to ponder your words for a moment, rays spinning idly.
You blow up a few balloons, watching as he puts his fingers under his chin, staring at the ground as he taps his foot in thought. It makes you giggle and lose the air in you'd built up in your balloon. 
He comes to a decision finally, nodding once as he looks back to you, "I suppose you're right! Though, I can't seem to recall when that would be, to be honest."
"Well, we could always pick a day," You get more supplies out of the box, there should be a staff bot stopping by with cake and pizza anytime now, "If you want."
You start organizing party supplies, counting out what party favors you have and may need to run and grab more of for prizes and such during games. The bot helping you has gone quiet, and you assume that the conversation is therefore over. That doesn't last, however. 
You feel Sun's presence before you see him, he bends down to your level, tone in awe, uncertain, "Really? You mean that?"
You nod. 
"Would, would today be alright? After, after the party, of course."
You smile, using both hands to cup his faceplate, "Of course," You kiss him softly, then pull away, "If that's what you'd like. Moon can pick his own day, if he wants."
Sun's rays spin rapidly, and he has to use his hand to stop them. He speaks dazed, "Today is fine, he said."
You chuckle, "Today it is, then."
You finish setting up for the party, and it goes off without a hitch. Sun, very excited at the prospect of celebrating his own 'birthday' only does the basics of cleaning up, leaving up the decorations and the likes to give them an additional use.
You order another cake from Chica's, and after some calculated thinking, manage to come up with a decent gift for him and Moon both. 
To Sun's disappointment, Moon gets to go first, as the cycle hits just right for it. 
"You know I can't eat cake, right Star?" Moon chuckles as he sits down across from you at the miniature table. You'd stuck a party hat on his head, and while it looked silly with his other hat, it simply had to be done.
You flick on the lighter, lighting the candles, "True, but you still get to make a wish! So let me sing and just sit there looking pretty, alright?"
"Alright," His tone is smooth but with the quiet noise of his fans you know the comment flustered him. 
You sing, and once you're finished, Moon blows out the candles by clapping once, the resulting air extinguishing them. You cheer and after smearing a bit of cake across his faceplate, hold out his gift. You found some stars and moons themed wrapping paper lying around, making for the perfect gift, even if you'd just come up with it during the previous party.
He finishes removing the frosting from his features, "You didn't have to get us a gift, you know. This was a 'last-minute' decision as you would say."
"Well, I would also say that it's your birthday, and I got you a gift," You hold up Sun's gift in your other hand, wrapped in red and yellow paper, "And Sun! I figured you would argue otherwise."
Moon snickers, taking his present from you, "You would be correct."
He takes a moment to shake it, but doesn't seem to figure out what it is. He then methodically unwraps it revealing a sketch book.
"You always talk about wanting to draw, but with being the naptime attendant not getting to so..." You trail off.
He hums, then laughs. Then, reaches over and takes your hand, pressing it to his smile, "It's wonderful, thank you."
You cough, face hot, "There's um, a couple little sketches in there of mine, to get you started. And a message. But don't look at it until you're alone! Okay?"
"I won't," He promises.
After that, Sun becomes very impatient, insisting on opening his present before blowing out his candles. 
You laugh as he all but snatches your gift to him from you, ripping it open in a rush, "You're supposed to make a wish first!"
"Wishes can wait, this is far more important!" He says, finally disposing of the last of the packaging. 
Inside awaits a music box, which he immediately starts winding the key to. Once wound, the box pops open, a small glass couple are revealed to be dancing to Pas de Deux, from the Nutcracker. 
Sun's stare is hyper focused on the box and its occupants, hardly moving an inch as the tune plays, and the couple spin round and round. When they finish, there's a click as a small compartment opens, you put your hand over Sun's before he can reach into it and grab the paper inside. 
"Ah, ah, that's for later, please," You glance up at him, slightly nervous, "What um, what do you think?"
His words are soft and full of adoration, "Oh Sunshine, I love it. It's so thoughtful! I didn't know you'd remember how much I like the song."
"Of course I would. I introduced you to it, didn't I?" You tease.
Something clicks for him then, "This is your music box. I, I can't have this, it belongs to you."
"Sun, I gave you both something that meant a lot to me, so much so that I want you to keep it as a way to think of me, yeah?"
His hands entwines with yours, nodding once, "Yeah."
"Good. Now, how about that wish, hm?"
He nods again, "Right! The best for last!"
You light the candles for a second time, and sing once more. However, when Sun goes to clap out the candles, one stubborn candle remains lit. He claps again, and again. A final large clap makes it go out, only to lit back up again. 
Your snickering becomes audible, and he catches on to what's happened. 
Sun gasps, "Starlight! You would pull a prank on me?"
You burst out laughing then as his scolding raises in volume, having to take several minutes to calm down again. 
The memory fades out as you sit down at your kitchen table, scootching your chair in after a moment. 
There's no one sitting across from you, there's no one else in your home. It's just you, a lighter, and some unlit candles sitting on a cake. 
You stare at the cake for a moment, then grab the lighter. One by one you light the candles. You'd considered adding a joke candle this year, but you don't think you have the heart for it. Maybe next year, you always tell yourself. 
On a nearby wall is your calendar, today's date circled. It's the one from that following year, you never could bring yourself to take it down and replace it, instead utilizing your phone and a calendar in your office instead. That one was much more subtle with its markings. Just a small note scribbled in the corner of the day's square. It made you feel guilty each year you wrote it down so unceremoniously.
It's relatively dark in your apartment, a singular light on over the sink. It makes the shadows caused by the candles that much larger, and the flames seem to burn that much brighter. You've never been a fan of fire. That only got worse after what happened. 
You're stalling, you know it. You'd better start before the wax starts dripping into the frosting and wastes a perfectly good cake. Not that you were very hungry anyway. 
You lick your lips, voice unsteady, "Ha-Happy birthday to you... Happy birthday to you..."
Tears start to well up and fall soon thereafter, your throat begins to tighten, but, you continue. 
"Happy, b-birth d-day dear-" Their faces flash through your mind once, but it's more than enough. A sob wracks through you and you have to stop singing. 
Your hands come up to your face, crying openly but embarrassed, even in the comfort of your own home. 
After a minute or so, you take a deep breath, collecting yourself. The candles are still burning. You owe them this.
You pick up after the point you left, to save yourself a little grief, "H-happy birthday t-t-to you..."
You wait another moment, your sniffling being the only noise in the quiet kitchen. Then, you blow them out, and you're left in half-hearted darkness. 
You wipe your eyes and sigh, "Happy birthday, boys. I love you."
You stare at the cake like it's somehow going to make them appear. Make the last several years disappear along with your heartache and grief like some bad dream.
It doesn't.
🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃
Man I am NOT treating you all nicely with these last few huh? Bah, you can handle it I'm sure, besides, we've got one more that I think you'll really enjoy. Or at least, I'm going to :) 
Promptober list is here, and if you'd like to check in on the Spoovember schedule you can find that here. Thanks for reading!!
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acknowledge-reigns · 1 day ago
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Swipe Right | Roman Reigns x Black!fem OC (18+)
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Chapter: 6/6
Word Count: 2079
Description: Roman and Iris have their first fight, and make things official.
Warnings: Mild angst, arguing, Dom/sub dynamic, praise, punishment, spanking/paddling, dirty talk, degradation, begging, unprotected sex (both clean, she's on the pill), p in v, nipple play,
This is set in an AU in which the og bloodline reunited before wrestlemania 40 and Roman retained. As always my stories are about Roman, not Joe. While there is not smut in the first couple of chapters, there will be in others. This is very much an 18+ BDSM based romance with some comedy thrown in there. You have been warned.
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A couple of months had passed since Roman and Iris' date. They'd gone out every weekend since, he'd even come over for dinner one night last week, he'd finally won Imani over with an autograph from Rhea Ripley and arranged a face time call for Amira to meet 'Maui'. Things were going well.
Iris walks into the living room where her sister Jax is sitting on the couch, watching TV.
"Hey Jax," she says, plopping down next to her. "Can I ask you a favor?"
Jax turns to her, raising an eyebrow.
"Sure, what's up?" she asks, turning off the TV.
"Roman and I are going out on Saturday night," she says. "And I was wondering if you could watch the girls for me?" Iris asked
Jax smiles but shakes her head no.
"Sorry, sis," she says. "Roman gave one of his cousins my number and we're going out this weekend too. You'll have to ask LeLe to babysit."
Iris's eyes widen in surprise, but she quickly recovers and gives Jax a supportive smile.
"Oh, really?" she says, trying to hide her shock. "That's great, I'm happy for you"
Jax grins, clearly excited about her date.
"Thanks, sis," she says. "I really like this guy. I hope it goes well."
Saturday arrives, Kiley was luckily free to stay with the girls. Imani was pretty much old enough to babysit but Iris didn't like the idea of putting adult responsibilities such as childcare on her daughter who isnt even old enough to drive. She knew what that felt like. Iris gets into the car with Roman, though he notices something is off.
Roman notices that Iris seems a bit quieter than usual as they drive to his place for dinner. He reaches over and takes her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.
"Hey, is everything okay?" he asks, concern in his voice.
Iris turns to Roman, her eyes narrowing slightly. "Can I ask you something?" she says, her voice firm.
Roman looks at her, confusion evident on his face. "Yeah, of course," he says.
Iris takes a deep breath, trying to keep her emotions in check.
"Why didn't you tell me you were setting up Jax with one of your cousins?" she asks, her voice betraying her annoyance.
Roman sighs, seeing that he apparently messed up."I didn't think it was a big deal," he says, avoiding her gaze. "I thought it would be a fun surprise for her."
Iris shakes her head, her annoyance growing. "It's not just a fun surprise, Roman," she says. "It's my sister's life. You can't just go around setting her up with random people without telling me first."
"Jey's a good guy. He's not a random person, I grew up with him. He'll take care of her, and I'll make damn sure of it." Roman said.
Iris rolls her eyes, clearly not convinced.
"I'm sure he's a great guy, but that's not the point," she says. "You should have asked me first before you went and did something like that."
"I was under the impression Jax is a grown woman who can decide herself who she wants to go out with." Roman argued.
Iris's anger boils over and she turns to Roman, her voice rising.
"You know what, Roman? You're so damn inconsiderate sometimes. You just do whatever you want without thinking about how it affects other people. You didn't even think to ask me how I felt about you setting up my sister with one of your crazy cousins."
Roman's expression darkens and he looks at Iris with a warning glare. "Watch your tone, Iris," he says firmly. "I don't appreciate being talked to like that."
Iris scoffs and crosses her arms, not backing down.
"Oh, I'm sorry, did I hurt your little feelings, Chief?" she says sarcastically.
Roman chuckles darkly, a sly smile spreading across his face."You decided if you're gonna be my sub or not?"
Iris hesitates for a moment, simply because the question seemed random in this particular moment but then nods her head. "Yes," she says quietly, her eyes locked on Roman's.
Roman's smile widens, something like an evil grin as he hears her answer.
"Good girl," he says as the car comes to a stop at his house. The minute They get out he throws Iris over his shoulder.
Iris squeals in surprise as Roman picks her up and carries her into his house.
"Roman, put me down!" she protests, but he just chuckles, gives her a firm smack on the ass and ignores her.
"You remember your Safeword?" Roman asked
"Yes, Sir." Iris confirmed.
"Good" Roman carries her into the bedroom and throws her onto the bed. He stands over her, his eyes dark with desire and dominance. "I'm about to teach you a lesson in respecting your Dom," he says, his voice low and dangerous.
Iris looks up at Roman, her eyes wide with a mixture of nervousness and excitement. "I wasn't disrespectful," she protests, her voice barely above a whisper.
Roman leans down, his face inches from hers. "Oh, really?" he says, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "You weren't disrespectful in the car when you talked back to me like that?"
Iris looks away, knowing she can't deny it.
"Okay, maybe I was a little disrespectful," she admits grudgingly.
Roman grins, clearly enjoying her admission.
"That's right," he says, his voice low and seductive. "And now you're going to pay for it."
Roman leans in closer, his lips brushing against her ear. "I'm going to punish you, Iris," he whispers. "And you gon' take it  like a good girl."
Roman pulls back and looks down at her, his eyes burning with desire. "Strip," he commands.
Iris slowly begins to remove her clothes. She can feel Roman's eyes on her, watching every move she makes.
Once she's completely naked, Roman steps back and looks her up and down.
"You're so beautiful," he says, his voice rough with desire. "But so damn bratty. Your tribal chief is gonna have to teach you to use that pretty lil mouth for something other than talking back."
Roman walks over to the dresser and opens a drawer, pulling out a cute heart shaped leather paddle. He turns back to Iris, holding the paddle in his hand.
"Turn around, bend over the bed." he says, his voice leaving no room for argument.
Iris does as she's told, bending over the bed and presenting her plump ass to Roman. She can feel her heart racing in anticipation of what's to come.
Roman runs his hand over her smooth skin, admiring the view."You have such a pretty ass," he says, his voice low and husky. "all mine"
Roman raises the paddle and brings it down on her ass with a sharp crack. The impact sends a wave of pain through Iris's body, but it's quickly followed by a rush of pleasure.
*SMACK*
*SMACK*
*SMACK*
Iris can feel her skin heating up under the onslaught of the paddle. The pain is intense, but there's that strange pleasure mixed in with it. She can feel herself getting wetter and wetter with each smack.
*SMACK*
*SMACK*
*SMACK*
*SMACK*
"Looks like you're enjoying this hm?" Roman says, his voice full of satisfaction.
Roman stops spanking her and steps back, admiring the marks he's left on her skin.
"You're such a naughty girl," he says, his eyes glinting with desire. "But you take your punishment so well."
Iris looks up at Roman, her eyes pleading.
"Please, Roman," she begs, her voice trembling with need. "Please fuck me."
Roman grins, enjoying the sight of her begging for him.
"You want it that bad, huh?" he says, his voice rough with desire. "You want me to fill you up and make you mine?"
Roman leans down, his face inches from hers.
"Where's all that attitude now, huh?" he asks, his voice mocking. "You were so mouthy in the car, but now look at you. Begging for your tribal chief's dick like a little slut."
Roman grins, enjoying the power he has over her.
"You need me, huh?" he says, his voice dripping with arrogance. "You need me to fill you up and make you feel good? You think you deserve it?" He casually brings the paddle down again, to her surprise.
Iris gasps as the paddle connects with her skin.
"I do deserve it," she says, her voice shaky. "I've been bad, and I needed to be punished. But I took it like a good girl! Please, My tribal chief."
Roman nods, his eyes glinting with obvious satisfaction.
"You're right, you did take it like a good girl," he says, running his hand over her freshly paddled ass. "And now you've earned your reward."
Roman moves closer to her, his body pressing against hers. He leans down and whispers in her ear.
"I'm going to make you feel so good, Iris. I'm going to make you scream my name."
Roman quickly undresses, his clothes falling to the floor in a heap. He positions himself behind her, his hands gripping her hips tightly. Without warning, he thrusts into her, burying himself deep inside her.
Iris cries out as he enters her, the sudden fullness overwhelming her senses. She can feel him deep inside her, stretching her open and filling her up completely.
Roman starts to move, his thrusts slow and deliberate at first. He leans over her, his chest pressed against her back, and whispers in her ear.
"You feel so good, Iris. So tight and wet for me."
Iris moans in response, arching her back to meet his thrusts. She can feel herself getting closer and closer to the edge, her body responding to his every move.
"Harder," she gasps, her voice hoarse with desire. "Please, harder."
Roman obliges, his thrusts becoming faster and more forceful. He grips her hips tighter, pulling her back against him as he pounds into her.
"You like it rough, huh?" he growls, his breath hot against her ear. "You like it when I take you like this?"
Iris can only moan a soft unintelligible "yes, my tribal chief" in response her body too overwhelmed with pleasure to form clear words. She can feel the pressure building inside her, the tension coiling tighter and tighter with each thrust.
Roman leans in close to her ear again, his voice low and menacing.
"I'm going to fuck you senseless, babygirl," he growls, his hips snapping against hers. "I'm going to make you forget your own name. You're mine now."
Roman's words only add to the intensity of the moment, pushing Iris closer and closer to the edge. She can feel herself teetering on the brink, her body trembling with need.
Roman can feel her body tensing up, and he knows she's close. He reaches around and grabs her breast, his fingers pinching her nipple hard causing her to cry out from the intoxicating painful pleasure she's grown to love.
"Come for me, Iris," he growls, his voice commanding. "Come all over my cock."
Iris's body obeys, the combination of pain and pleasure sending her over the edge. She screams his name as she comes, her body convulsing around him.
Roman continues to thrust into her, riding out her orgasm until he finally reaches his own climax. He groans as he spills himself inside her, his body shaking with the force of it.
They collapse onto the bed, both of them panting heavily. Roman rolls off of her and pulls her into his arms, holding her close.
Iris rests her head on his chest, still trying to catch her breath. She feels sated and exhausted, but also strangely content.
Roman runs his fingers through her hair, his touch gentle now.
"You did good, baby," he says, his voice softer than before. "You took everything I gave you and more."
Iris smiles, feeling a sense of pride at his words.
"I just wanted to please you," she says, looking up at him. "I wanted to be good for you."
Roman chuckles and kisses her forehead.
"You were perfect," he says. "And you're all mine now."
Iris snuggles closer to him, feeling a sense of possessiveness wash over her. She knows she belongs to him now, and she doesn't want to be anywhere else. He belongs to her too.
"I'm glad you swiped right" Roman said.
Iris smiles in response, "Me too."
Previous Chapter
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Epilogue or nah?
**UPDATE**
Epilogue out now!
Read it here
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crowhoonter · 1 day ago
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The Moon Presence holds a special place in my heart in terms of souls games final bosses because of the sheer what the fuckness of it all. All of the other final bosses have some kind of build up; Dark Souls can't go one minute without mentioning Gwyn, Nashandra and Aldia are major figures in Ds2's lore, the Soul of Cinder, while never directly alluded to is another example of the converging of time and space in 3, Isshin plays a large part in Sekiro's story, and Radagon is a major lore character with Elden Beast being pretty easy to clock as a manifestation of the Greater Will.
Flora, the Moon Presence, though? She comes out of nowhere. There are maybe two lines alluding to her existence at all, those being the workshop umbilical cord and the lecture hall note. The closest you otherwise get is the references to the terrible hunter's dream, which doesn't immediately conjure the idea of her to mind.
Even better we don't even know what she really wants. Oh sure, there are plenty of theories and inferences we can make. Maybe she uses Hunters like hitmen to prevent infant great ones from threatening her, maybe she's keeping a natural order running, maybe she wants to spread the beast plague, maybe she wants to prevent mankind's evolution, maybe she just plain loves violence. In the end though, its all still maybes. Girly walks on in and her mere existence changes so much about the story, yet she refuses to elaborate on anything.
Another very interesting aspect is, and this is probably a somewhat baseless observation, we don't really know what she is. Everywhere else in the game, Great Ones have some line of text associating them with that status. Oedon, Baby Mergo, Kos, Amygdala, The Brain of Mensis, Ebrietas. All of them have text somewhere that directly refers to them with that moniker, but Flora? Nowhere will you find something calling her a great one. Hell, in the Japanese translation, she is called "Moon Demon." It is probably safe and the intended inference that she is a great one, but the thought she might not be does tickle me nonetheless.
Then there is her role in the story. The Great Ones are said to be sympathetic in spirit, and there definitely is a part of her that echoes that sentiment. The way she cradles the hunter is like that of a mother holding a child, yet she seems to be a lot more manipulative than the Great Ones we see in game. They typically cause suffering not by tricking or making deals, but by being unaware of how they affect the world with their actions. Getting picked up by Amygdalae seems like a curious child picking up a lizard, unaware that they are hurting it. Flora though, there does seem to be a certain level of maliciousness beyond accidental. Gehrman's pain and suffering is clear to see, yet she keeps him chained to the dream because of whatever bargain he made (presumably animating the Doll). She does the same to the hunter should you forgo the umbilical cords. She also doesn't seem to want a surrogate like other Great Ones, maybe settling for keeping humans as pets rather than having an actual child.
She really is one of the best Fromsoft final bosses because of the sheer strangeness and the wrench her presence throws into the game's story. We can get a concept of most of Bloodborne's story with a bit of interpretation and reading between the lines, but she will forever be an enigma. For what purpose did Laurence and Gehrman summon her? Why is she seemingly not worshiped unlike other Great Ones? Does she desire a surrogate or are humans pets good enough? We may never know, and that is wonderful.
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Stay enigmatic queen, live your freak life
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muzzlemouths · 2 days ago
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Apologies if this has been asked already, but is there any chance we might get to see what those conversations between sun and moon were like? I just started reading (Don't) Fear the Reaper and now that I know they talk when Sun is quiet, I can't help but wonder what's being said.
When I eventually get around to writing the follow-up fic (which will explore the story from Sun's pov) you'll get to see each and every conversation they had!
Since I'm not sure when that will be (and I have a rough version of what it might look like already written up in my notes) I'll go ahead and drop it here for you to chew on in the meantime :3
This conversation occurs in their personal cabin when y/n first finds out about Moon's existence. I've left the original lines in for context, but they'll be indented so you know what is and isn't internal.
“We?” You watch with growing curiosity as he freezes in place and winces, like he’s just been caught in a lie.
“Sun—”
“I know, I know.”
“Fix it.”
There it is, again. That distant expression like his mind is somewhere else entirely. You aren’t sure if robots are capable of internal monologue, but if they are, his must be pretty intense for the absolutely guilty expression he wears before smothering it with another mocked up smile.  “Me and…Moon,” he answers, voice pitifully small. 
“What are you doing?”
“It’s better to be honest, isn’t it? They’re going to find out eventually.”
“No. No. You’re going to say something you shouldn’t.”
“I can handle myself in a conversation just fine, thank you very much. I have so fa—”
“You don’t know when to shut up.”
His smile falters, eyes panicked like a child being scolded.
Moon. You recognize the name from the conversation with Oscar earlier, how scared he had looked from the mere mention of it. You aren’t entirely sure how to navigate this situation, but if this Moon has everyone up in arms, there must be a good reason for it, right? “Is he…dangerous?” 
“....Well? Am I?”
“Oh, now you want me to talk?”
“Just thought they should know all the grisly details, since you seem keen on being truthful.”
Sun hesitates to answer. He bides his time by tending to your ankle, instead. Carefully drawing your shoe away like a reverse cinderella, then gently turning your ankle in all directions to get a feel for the damage. 
“You’re not being fair.”
“Go on, tell them.”
“I don’t think that’s a good ide—”
“Tell them how I butchered her. How I didn’t stop until her pulse flickered under my hand.”
“Moon—”
“Tell them how much I regret letting go.”
“I—”
“Tell them how often we think about her blood caking our palms. How relieving it felt to finally—”
“It doesn’t feel broken,” he tells you. 
“Don’t ignore me.”
“I think you might have just twisted it. Should be in tip-top shape by morning!” He faces you with that telltale smile once more, only for it to droop significantly when you don’t immediately mirror his relief. It’s not the answer you’re waiting for. 
“Hypocrite.” Moon snarls. “Cornered yourself. Now you’re the animal stuck in a trap.”
“Little rabbit…” he sighs. “You are very, very lucky, you know. This could have been much worse.”
Pebbles climb in your throat, brought on by his words. Each bigger than the last and taking up space where you need to breathe. They rattle with every inhale, collecting in great heaps the longer he fits you with that emotionless stare. You don’t think he’s referring to your ankle, anymore.
“Cruel. Warning a rabbit with one foot already in a trap.”
“They’re smarter than you think.”
“It’s too late to save them.”
“...I know.”
“Then why bother?”
A twig snaps just outside the door, relieving you of his piercing gaze as his neck wrenches to follow it. Just a squirrel.  “Sun, I—” “Anyone can be dangerous,” he whispers, eyes still zeroed in on the animal.
“Caaareful.”
“I told you, it’s better to be honest," Sun's optics twitch ever briefly. "They ought to know it isn’t you they should fear.”
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