#'you are certainly not Thomas or Percy but I would also look after you' THIS HAS ME CACKLING HAHA-

[cerenemuxse]

I love these so much, ty!!!! I shall treasure them nwn

Happy (early because its not the 14th yet for me .3.) Valentine's Day! 🌙💙

[mean-scarlet-deceiver]

I know you are a fan of FutureRust and It’ s A Splendid Life. I think that AU is great. It makes me wonder how the timeline works if Thomas is never made? Or Edward, Henry, Gordon etc 

What do you think? 

Ooooooohhh. Hmmmmmm.

Okay, first of all, for those who haven't read Splendid Life (shame!) or just need a recap [SPOILERS]: in this fanfic James gets to observe what the NWR would have been like if he'd never been built, and the answer is [AGAIN! SPOILERS! THERE IS NO TURNING BACK AFTER THIS!] the railway failed to expand, faces inevitable bankruptcy, and everyone's miserable.

For what it's worth, I think the logic of A Splendid Life is excellent if FC1 couldn't have bought James or a mechanically similar engine at a knock-down price. However, I do think that realistically FC1 could have found "another James" throughout all the decommissioning the LMS was doing in the '20s and '30s. They would probably have been a little less robust than James but he could have certainly gotten a good mixed-traffic engine for scrap prices. I do think the NWR might have been poorer and not in a position to come out of WWII swinging, and yes I don't think FC1 would have picked up Percy in particular because he wouldn't have been looking at the exact time Percy was on the market, but then that's true of quite a few canon characters that FC1 does buy in Splendid Life anyway.

So, not to ruin the story, but as I think through this I'd argue James's absence has less impact than the absence of many of the others. He'd be, like, middle-of-the-pack in terms of essentialness. This is in no way a knock on Splendid Life; it's still one of my favorite ttte fics.

[END OF SPOILERS]

Let me take the rest of the engines in a different order. Kinda going from easiest to hardest to write about. For "etc." I will throw in Percy and Toby, the other two FC1 engines.

Gordon: I think it's very simple—without Gordon in the timeline, the NWR likely goes bankrupt before we even get to the Depression. That doesn't mean rail on Sodor disappears but I think the system would be absorbed by the LMS. Topham Hatt I might have been kept on as a director and manager but he wouldn't be able to run things in his own way. LMS engines would largely take over the network and the other tender engines would have been scrapped by WWII. Percy and Toby never come to Sodor. Thomas probably lasts the longest, on a Sodor railway that looks quite different. He might have still been promoted to branch line but that would have to be before the LMS takeover. It's also possible that without the revenue from Gordon's services the extension of the Ffarquhar line is not completed and so an engine isn't needed to run it.

Toby: If Toby didn't exist, Thomas might have been fitted with cowcatchers and sideplates and never heard the end of it from most of the other engines. Alternatively (despite what FC1 says offhand when he's on the spot and discouraged), FC1 might have simply acquired a different tank engine. One possibility is outfitting Percy with the kit and replacing him as Tidmouth station pilot earlier (possibly even with Duck! a long shot, but the NWR was nationalised by then...)

Percy: If Percy hadn't been made, I think FC1 simply buys another cheap secondhand industrial engine (but it's unlikely he happens to buy one with Percy's spunk and pluck so that changes the dynamic of the main cast in some ways). I think it's unlikely that FC1 simply would have never found another candidate but it would be very interesting if he couldn't. In that improbable scenario, I don't think FC1 manages to completely break the Strike Trio's action. I think he'd have to continue appeasing them in some sort of ways. At the same time, the issue is never completely resolved one way or another—it just festers. I think FC1 would rely heavily on Edward taking up residence at Tidmouth instead of Wellsworth but operations suffer accordingly and I still don't think Edward could be station pilot full time since he's also basically the rescue engine and banker at this time... This all would honestly set the railway on a fairly toxic path, with the big engines continuing to be unhappy with the ad-hoc situation at Tidmouth, continuing to have power struggles with FC1, and probably continuing with their mean-girls bullshit until there is full-out enmity between them and Edward + Thomas.

Realistically, I think there's plenty of middle ground between canon, where FC1 resolves the situation so quickly, and an AU where he never gets things in order. But I do think if "Trouble in the Sheds" had dragged on for any length of time that the dynamic among the fleet would have been very different and therefore the cast of the Railway Series books is different—if the Thin Clergyman is charmed enough to write it at all.

Edward: On the one hand, I doubt Edward's non-existence leaves a unique hole in the early workforce the way that the others' would—if there hadn't been an Edward I think the NWR would have simply begged, borrowed, or stolen some other Furness engine of similar vintage, maybe a little older, maybe a little less willing, but I think they'd have muddled along in a similar way... in the short term. In the long term, though, I believe Edward's absence would be very telling. In many ways he's really the heart of the (NWR) cast and his influence on the others is subtle but significant. Not in that the cast would be any more foolhardy, the railway would have its same chequered safety record—I really don't think Edward's frequent advice of "be careful!" really helped the others to learn sense any faster... but I do think it's more he influenced the whole joint to be a kinder, warmer, more forgiving sort of place than it would have otherwise been. Without Edward there is no counter to the early-years dynamic of Every Engine For Himself, Zero-Sum Competition. FC1 would have still sent away the worst influences and battered some morals or whatever into the others but, I think, at a slower rate, and the change is all imposed from the top... without Edward there I don't think the fleet becomes a family. It's also quite possible that it never crosses FC1's mind to consider Thomas to run the Ffarquhar branch so There's That.

Thomas: In contrast, Thomas's coming to the island is such a mysterious fluke that there's no "it would have just been another engine." I think this is another situation where the NWR would be missing something vital—certainly its greatest claim to fame, in the long run!—but they wouldn't know it, you know? They wouldn't know what they were missing. In a Jamesless world FC1 might sometimes wistfully say to himself that it would be nice if he had a some real pizzazz and panache on his fleet, and in an world without Edward I think FC1 would be wishing that he could've somehow socialized the engines a bit better, so they were all a little more chill. But Thomas, man. He was a gift from the gods. He was a strike of blessed lightning. Everything about Sodor's vibe would be a little worse without Thomas and they wouldn't even know it. How sad is that?

Okay, getting down to brass tacks. I don't think his impact on the workforce would be so obvious. I think even in their poorest and earliest days the NWR could have scrounged up another shunter somehow and until he was vacuum-fitted and rebuilt Thomas wasn't good for much else, and without Thomas they would have just fit up another of their tank engines for the Ffarquhar line—it might have even been cheaper. I think the community along the Ffarquhar line wouldn't have been so attached to the railway without Thomas's charisma but again, the NWR probably wouldn't notice that. I do wonder if Charles Hatt would have married into the Ffarquhar Quarry owner's family without Thomas's stellar relationship-building to highlight that area of the island or not.

The Thin Clergyman still becomes a friend of the NWR and writes a Railway Series that is a thing for a while, but it doesn't really take off the same way without Thomas and the series probably ends sooner. I do think in this timeline the RWS has enough of a cultural impact that there is still some merch, maybe even a TV series, but I don't think it becomes a franchise in the same way as now; it's more of a trend-setter. I think it would inspire other book/TV series and that one of them would probably eclipse the RWS and become the "Thomas the Tank Engine"-equivalent brand name in-universe.

All this said, it is fascinating how the events of the series really don't hang all that much on Thomas at all. He's so very on the sidelines for most of the "golden era" of the RWS. I don't think the railway would have failed or struggled without him, though I think the Ffarquhar line itself wouldn't be as busy or important.

One big change is that I think, without Thomas, Gordon remains at least 50% more insufferable throughout his whole life. There's something about that cheeky tank engine that humbled him some. I know he puts Thomas in his place in "Thomas and Gordon," but—nevertheless!—Gordon met his match when he was condemned to put up with Thomas the Tank Engine mouthing off to him every day for years on end.

Henry: If Henry is never built? Hmm... how much changes?

I think things do change but he's the hardest to quantify. As far as the fortunes of the railway, honestly in the pre-RWS days they are probably better off. FC1 can spend the money he spent buying Henry on another engine, one that may not be as theoretically powerful but one that is more reliable. No need for Welsh coal, no need for a Flying Kipper rebuild. But I think the railway suffers as far as never really being pushed to develop a higher code of loyalty or understanding. This would be most notable in Gordon and FC1 (and, as they are both huge influences on the railway has a whole, these would make for some big ripple effects).

Without Henry, I think Gordon's character development might not get off the ground until much later. I think it still would have eventually grown up just because he was born with the soul of an elder statesengine, but in this timeline the seeds for his change aren't planted so early so he just remains Insufferable Unapproachable Bigshot for a few decades longer.

As for FC1, I think Henry is probably the catalyst of his character development—I do think the others played into it too but I think Henry had the single biggest impact on us going from the good-for-little-but-plot-device-and-comic-relief person we meet of "The Sad Story of Henry" to The Fat Controller. Before Henry, FC1 was an arrogant and inflexible man. Clever, and enterprising, and his stubbornness was probably key to his career thus far... and I doubt he was devoid of some nicer sentiments... but he is not yet the man he becomes. Getting swindled by Henry's builder was a humbling moment for him. Henry also gave him a dramatic illustration of the limits of just trying to get people (well, engines, but I don't doubt this lesson spilled over to people) to do things by force and authority and shouting. He probably regretted escalating things at once but found himself in a bind and had to learn the hard way that you should not make threats if you don't really want to follow through with them! Henry's pervasive mechanical issues probably also taught FC1 greater patience and understanding, and Henry's triumphant turn-around would have ensured that FC1 committed himself going forward to rather high ideals.

I think FC1 tried so hard to eke a "win" from the Henry situation at least in part for his own ego/reputation—if he gave up on Henry, he had to admit utter defeat in the matter of buying him. But I think by the end of the whole thing FC1 had become a different person. In short, without a Henry I/Henry II saga, I don't think we have a man so committed to saving his engines even in the face of nationalisation (and Edward rattling about like crazy at 55—a perfectly reasonable age to withdraw an engine from service), or a successor who assisted in Henry's triumph of a rebuild and who goes on to defy BR's modernisation plan completely.

Therefore, without Henry, the NWR still survives.

But also? It isn't really our NWR.

(It's probably fully dieselised. And D7101, while not rude to their faces, always considered that steam engines were kinda clapped-out.)

ALL THAT SAID... while writing this I came up with another AU involving Henry. But in this one he proves to be a perfectly reasonable, decently reliable engine who can handle the Express on his own from the beginning. This means he kinda isn't really Henry any more, but. It's hilarious. Because Gordon arrives too. You thought the NWR was boisterous enough with one haughty egoistical Pacific racing along the main line and struggling to live up to their own boasting? Try two of themmmmmmm! And they loathe each other!!!!

(I'm actually dying... it takes Sodor the Unnecessarily Extra Island and makes it 94% MORE EXTRA)

[gloamses]

useless infodump that no one cares about: I’m trying to figure out what exactly was my main problem with the sunbearer trials beyond just the fact that I find the author’s writing kind of odd and bad to read

and I know it’s a book for 16 year olds but you know what I resent the idea that we can’t ask for good literature for teens, especially literature that clears the low bar of making thematic and grammatical sense. and I just read a different queer trans fantasy YA that was actually really good. so

I think it’s that the human sacrifice element boned it. the pitch was clearly “percy jackson meets the hunger games” which like ok you can do that but percy jackson is fairly lighthearted middle-grade hijinks and hunger games is relentlessly grim young adult with kind of a lot to say, so that’s a bit of a tough balancing act isn’t it. it’s very much not impossible - a lot of myth is pretty bloody, ancient mayans certainly did plenty of human sacrifice, and a darker fantasy in which children compete to either do a ritual sacrifice or become a ritual sacrifice is potentially a compelling idea. but I don’t think aiden thomas, despite a penchant for cosmetically-dark topics, is really great at maintaining that kind of tone.

script-doctoring to make this a middle-grade book, the stakes are plenty high enough if the trials are mortally dangerous even for people with advanced magical powers - the less-powerful main character is already in peril just by being there and will be lucky to make it out alive. he obviously can’t win. the attitude of “I’m at a disadvantage and everyone thinks I’m going to die but I’m going to live AND maybe even win to stick it to the bullies” makes sense and is a reasonable goal for a middle-grade protagonist

but when “winning to stick it to the bullies” means you get the honor of stabbing one of your unresisting peers through the chest on a sacrificial altar, that attitude is not merely flippant but actively makes you kind of a monster lmao. the main character claims that, being one of the most disadvantaged contestants, he understands the gravitas of the situation and the fact that someone’s going to die at the end, while everyone else is being way too cavalier and acting like it’s just a game. except he also acts like that. and I don’t think he’s meant to be a hypocrite. he has moments of regret wherein he feels like he’s being selfish and not looking out for the other disadvantaged contestant, but he never really goes back on the idea that winning the trials would be a net good for him and his community. it feels like, in addition to aiden thomas just gravitating towards a lighter tone, the child-sacrifice bit was a late-process addition to raise the stakes and make it more mature (more YA and less middle-grade, because stylistically it feels extremely middle-grade), after which the rest of the tone was not adjusted accordingly. very weird reading experience.

[calummss]

Thomas Shelby Hogwarts Professor Short Story

masterlist other chapters

Chapter 1: Pretty Cute

summary: a stranger catches your eye whilst shopping in diagon alley

pairing: professor! thomas shelby x fem student! reader

words: 1.6k

a/n: i asked, you answered, i delivered

The warm bright sun blazed onto the cobblestoned street of Diagon Alley. The bustling streets were filled with fellow wizards and witches who were flowing by the shops, hoping to get their essentials before school or work started again.

You were sitting outside of Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour, a small table right in front of the shop as you watched the crowd of people sway past you. The twins Fred and George were also sitting at the table, with you in the middle. Your tongue picked up the taste of sticky toffee pudding, your favourite. Fred and George each had a scoop of butterbeer and early grey with lavender.

It had become a habit or a sort of tradition to get Florean’s ice cream with the Weasleys since they started attending Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry. Hermione was off somewhere with Harry and Ron, whilst your family, the Grangers, had met with the Weasley family to get the back-to-school-shopping-list ticked off.

‘Y/n,’ Fred turned his face to you with a playful smile and you had a feeling you knew what he was going to ask. ‘Since you’re in your 7th year now can we get your schoolwork from your 5th year?’

‘No, absolutely not.’ You answered back.

‘Why not?’ George asked, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion. ‘We’re friends!’

You sat back in your chair, your ice cream still in your hand. ‘Because it would be very obvious that it’s your work.’ You scolded. ‘And second, you need to know. How else will you get on in the Wizarding World?’

‘You’re just like your sister.’ Fred exclaimed, continuing to eat his ice cream with narrowed eyes.

‘What do you mean by that?’

‘Ron talks about Hermione and what she says,’ George said, him too taking licks from his ice cream.

‘Well she’s right.’ You answer truthfully. ‘Glad to know I have a smart little sister.’

You continued to engage in conversation with the exception of making fun of Percy as he walked past the three of you.

‘Who do you think the new Defence Against The Dark Arts professor will be?’ Fred spoke as the other conversation started to bore him.

‘I don’t know but I hope they’re good looking.’ You answered, not really paying attention to your surroundings and continued to eat your ice cream.

George chuckled and Fred let out a small laugh.

‘What?’ You reproached. ‘Us girls deserve it after Quirell and Lockhart.’

‘What about us boy?’ Fred moaned, George nodding his head vigorously. ‘Why can’t it be a pretty female professor?’

‘You already don’t pay attention in class,’ you suppress a laugh, falling back into your chair. ‘That would be the worst thing that could happen to the both of you.’

‘You’re not even in our year so how do you know that George and I aren’t excellent students?’

‘First: I’ve seen your report cards. Two: Remember when I interrupted your Transfiguration class with McGonagall because Pomfrey needed that golden cup back?’ You eyed both of them. ‘I saw you playing with Jordan’s tarantula, scaring the Ravenclaw girls that sat behind you…’

Fred and George stayed quiet in defeat.

‘Oh, move over.’ You raised your voice at Hermione and elbowed her to the side. Diagon Alley was packed as it was and you certainly didn’t need a squashed hug from your sister.

‘I can’t otherwise I would.’ She snapped back at you.

It was the end of August and everyone was trying to tick off the last items off their back-to-school-list. Every year was a hassle but you were happy regardless. This would be your last time buying school equipment. You were officially a 7th year student at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Only one year left and you would begin your new journey on becoming an actress, studying at the Wizarding Acadeyour of Dramatic Arts.

‘Y/n.’ You heard your mother call out your name. ‘Are you coming?’

You hadn’t noticed that your parents had continued to walk down the road without you. Just as you caught up with them, you noticed a rather tall and good looking man walk across the street and step into Amanuensis Quills.

‘Dad?’ You ran up to him. ‘Since I’m taking your N.E.W.T.S this year, I was wondering if it would be alright for me to buy a new quill? Mine’s scratchy and patchy.’ You asked, lying from ear to ear.

‘Sure, I’ll come with you.’

‘Oh no, I can go by yourself. I’m pretty sure Mum needs you at Flourish and Blotts. Hermione needs a lot of heavy books for her third year.’ You blurted out, trying to change his mind.

‘That’s true. Good thinking.’ He realised. ‘Here’s the money, but please don’t buy the most expensive one.’

‘I won’t.’ You yelled as your feet were already running towards the shop and when you stood in front of it you could see the man browse through various inks.

He was around 170cm, dark brown hair, almost black that seemed soft to the touch, a small amount of stubble across the lower half of his face. He was wearing a big, blue sweater that looked very old and worn. Underneath a pair of dark brown trousers and black shoes completed his look.

You hadn’t noticed how long you were staring into the window when Amandus Cordell, the owner of the shop, stood in front of the glass blocking your view.

‘Miss Granger,’ Amand bleated.

You removed your head from the dirty window and tiled your head with an awkward smile.

‘Are you going to be staring all day or are you planning on coming inside?’ He raised his eyebrow at you shortly before pulling the door open.

‘Sorry, Mr. Cordell.’ You walked into the shop, the wooden floor creaking under your heels.

‘What can I do for you?’ He stepped back behind the counter and re-adjusted his spectacles.

‘Well,’ you stepped to the counter taking a quick glance to the man that was still looking at the inks. ‘I need a new quill since I’ll be taking your N.E.W.T.S at the end of the school year. I need a quill that will write perfectly.’ You smiled.

‘I know just what you need.’ His index finger went up and with that he left.

Only the man and you were in the open room together and you could’ve sworn that the walls were coming closer, pushing you towards him. He’s been staring at those ink bottles for over 5 minutes. Surely he found what he had come in for.

You pretended to look at the catalogue that Mr. Cordell had set out for his customers, trying your best to not stare at him.

‘I noticed you staring earlier.’ A deep voice penetrated the silence.

Your head whipped towards the man who still hadn’t moved. He was holding an ink bottle in his hand but his head was still looking down.

‘Excuse me?’ You asked, not taking your eyes off him.

He turned around and looked you straight in the eyes. His blue eyes stared into yours until you could no longer hold it and broke off the eye contact. He was intimidating.

‘When I walked in here, I noticed you staring.’ He chuckled. ‘Don’t worry.’ he smiled. ‘I’m flattered.’

‘Oh that, I’m sorry, you just seemed familiar.’ You lied start to finish. You had never seen him nor know anyone that looks like him. His appearance caught your attention and you clearly couldn’t deny his attractiveness. Normally you would have minded your own business but you just couldn’t.

He moved closer, you remained in your place. Even if you could move, You’re sure you wouldn’t have.

‘I know, you know that that isn’t true.’ His frame stood in front of you as you gulped. ‘I wouldn’t be able to keep your eyes off you either.’ He breathed in your neck.

Goosebumps arose on your skin, your heart was pounding and your breath hitched as he removed his face from your ear. A smirk was painted across his face.

‘I-‘

‘Miss Granger, here would be the quill that I think would be a perfect fit.’ Mr. Cordell came out from the back. Deep down you thanked him. You had no words you could possibly think of saying to the man. You never ran out of things to say but right now at this given moment you were speechless.

You cleared your throat and turned your body away from him and went up to the counter.

‘It’s perfect. I’ll buy it.’ You said, trying to get out of the shop as fast as you could. It felt as though all the air was being sucked out of this place. A hand from behind placed down to sets of black ink, as you felt his chest swiftly on your back.

‘I’ll pay for these and the quill.’ The same voice from just a few seconds ago said.

‘Total comes to 5 Galleons.’ Mr. Cordell said as the man placed the coins onto the counter.

‘You’re welcome.’ He breathed down your neck before grabbing his stuff and walking towards the door.

‘Thank you.’ You yelled back but he was already out of the front door. As soon as the door closed you could feel your lungs expanding for air.

‘Are you alright?’

‘Perfectly adequate. Thank you Mr. Cordell.’ You breathed heavily. You grabbed your quill and returned to your family that were standing in front of Flourish and Blotts with the Weasleys and Harry.

No matter how much you tried to forget about the encounter, you couldn’t stop thinking about him. There was something about him but you couldn’t figure it out and probably never would. Your first and last time seeing that stranger.

[wysteriaisapenguin]

Every Little Thing I Do - Part 1

After over-exhausting himself from pulling a heavy passenger train, Edward needed some time to recover. This left everyone worried about him. After everything he’s done, they decided it was about time for them to show him their support in their own way. 

(Railway Roundabout AU - Post “Edward’s Exploit”) 

“What do you mean Edward’s been hospitalized?!”

Thomas couldn’t believe the news that he just heard. Percy had to fill in the details that Duck told him just earlier. “Apparently, he had a heavy passenger train to pull last night. It was so bad that his engine broke and he ended up fracturing his knee just to get it to run.”

“That’s horrible…” Thomas looked upset while Toby just listened solemnly. Edward had been Thomas’s mentor when he first started working on Sodor, so it was no surprise that he was deeply concerned about him.

“But he still managed to get the passengers back to the station!” Percy added with good news. “Don’t worry!”

“Well yeah, but didn’t he pass out the moment he arrived back to the sheds?”

“Yeah, that’s what happened too...” Percy realized that this didn’t end with good news at all. He always knew how old and physically weak Edward was but he didn’t know that he would suffer that much. Whatever happened last night must have been exhausting for him.

“Poor Edward, he’s been doing a lot for everyone hasn’t he?” Thomas sighed. “I wish there was something we can do to make him feel better.”

“Well, we can always visit him,” Toby reassured him as he put a hand on his shoulder. “There’s no reason why we shouldn’t.”

Thomas smiled slightly as he said, “You’re right Toby. We definitely have to see him later.”

Percy smiled too. It would be wonderful for the three of them to visit the kindest, smartest, and diligent train driver on the Northern Western Railway. Then he thought about what Thomas said. Edward doing a lot for everyone…that was when a new idea suddenly struck into his mind.

“Oh! I have a better idea!” he exclaimed, “Why don’t we invite everyone that Edward helped? I bet they want to see him too cause he’s done so much for them! It’ll be the best surprise ever!”

Thomas looked at him as his eyes lit up and his smile grew even brighter. “That’s a great idea Percy! That’s gonna make Edward really happy!”

“I know! I gotta ask them right now!” Percy quickly got up from his seat, grabbed his bag, and headed straight towards the door. “Be right back!”

After he left the house, Toby chuckled with amusement. “That youngster’s always full of energy. For the past few weeks, he’s certainly been doing a lot too.”

“Well that’s Percy for you.” Thomas had to agree. “Always so cheery and outgoing. I’m so glad he’s my best friend.”

---

“What’s that? Edward’s in the hospital?” Trevor was shocked to hear the news. “Oh goodness, I hope he’s alright. But I’d be happy to visit him. After all, he was the one who found me a really good traction engine for my farm. I always find it quite admirable that he’s always looking out for others like this. It’s about time we do the same for him.”

 “Why, that’s a great idea!” Duck laughed as he ruffled Percy’s hair. “Edward’s such a wonderful fellow. He’s so thoughtful and hardworking and he really deserves a rest after what happened last night! I still remember when he let me work with him, even after I was chased out of the sheds. He sure did me a solid. Of course I’ll pay him a visit with you!”  

 “Aye, we’d love to see Edward,” Donald said enthusiastically. “We do owe him one. Not only did he defend Dougie but he also suggested to have a deputation so we could stay!”

“We wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for him!” Douglas chimed in. “We have to give him our thanks!”

 “Me, really?” Boco was surprised that Percy came to see him out of all people. “That’s very nice of you to invite me. Thank you very much. Edward’s a nice person to work with and it’s thanks to him that the twins won’t bother me so much. Do you mind if I can ask them if they want to see him too? I’m sure they’re worried about him as much as you are.”  

---

Percy felt quite satisfied with himself. Lots of people wanted to see Edward and he couldn’t wait to share his support with them. He just wished everything will go well. He asked everyone he knew but wondered if he had missed anyone. He figured that Harold didn’t know who Edward was and he was sure the other diesel drivers, besides Boco, wouldn’t be interested. Percy tried to think hard about it until he passed by three familiar faces deep in a conversation.

Oh, right.

“He’s not that frail, you know,” Henry was saying. Normally Percy wouldn’t care what those three said, but he decided to eavesdrop.

“Yes, I am already aware of that,” Gordon huffed while rolling his eyes. “I’m sure we’re all aware of that by now.”

“Yeah, why are you telling us something we already know?” James scowled. The two were facing Henry as if they were having a standoff against him.

“Well, you didn’t seem to think that way yesterday.”

“Oh please Henry, you’re not off the hook. You were like that as well! Besides, I don’t even understand why you volunteered to take those tourists home last night.”

“Well, why shouldn’t I? No one else was going to.”

“Yeah, no one in their right mind would want to carry over the work for that Old Iron!”

Percy didn’t want to hear any more. It was clear to him that they still didn’t care about Edward despite everything he had done. All they did was mock and demean anyone who got in their way and that included Percy. Why should he even bother with them? He walked away, hoping that the three didn’t notice him.

“And another thing,” Henry continued, “All I just said that he was struggling when he was pulling those coaches. That’s all.”

“Yes, but you have to admit. It was a pathetic sight.” Gordon huffed again. “Any of us could do it without a problem, but he was still desperate to do it anyways. Especially with such an old steam engine.”

“I DIDN’T SAY THAT!”

“YOU MUST HAVE AT LEAST THOUGHT IT!”

Henry stayed silent for a moment, knowing that was a fact he couldn’t deny. When he spoke up again, his voice was firm and blunt. “I have thought it. And it was a horrible thought. I never want to think about it ever again! Maybe you two should reconsider it too.”

Then he turned around and walked away. Gordon stared at him with annoyance while James had his hands on his hips and yelled out, “Hey, where are you going? We’re not done here, you know!”

But Gordon simply shook his head and muttered, “Leave him be James. I don’t think he wants to speak with us any further right now.”    

[joezworld]

So, a while back this got posted and I thought it would be cool to do a set of stories on the whole subject of 'family'.

Then work picked up and I only got through the first one and a half.

The half story got used in Day 27 of Traintober (it's the story Gordon retells to Richard Hatt), but this one never seemed like it could fit, so I decided to put it up after Traintober.

*checks watch*

It's certainly after Traintober now, isn't it?

Replacement

July, 1987

Once again, Tidmouth Sheds were in an uproar, but this time, it was a different sort of uproar.

"I'm telling you, he's a mongrel! A fraud! A waste of good metal!" Screeched a posh voice.

Vulgar statements followed this:

"How dare you, you cheese-shaped lump of-"

"-can you at least say this to my face?"

"-if ah were in steam ah would be turnin' ye into roast duck, you-"

"Forget yerself Douggie, can ye imagine what Bear wuld be sayin' if he wuz 'ere?"

"Quackers, I swear to all that is not holy, if you don't stop talking-"

"Is this what the pride of the LNER sounds like? An unmitigated -"

-

Perhaps an explanation is necessary.

The year prior, The National Railway Museum had restored Mallard - the fastest steam locomotive in the world - to operating condition. Gordon was very pleased by this, as it meant another member of his extended family was in steam.

Furthermore, Mallard's speed records were a source of personal pride for Gordon, as his design was the prototype for all the Gresley Pacifics, including Mallard. This meant that Gordon would happily spend hours telling anyone and everyone who would listen (or couldn't get away quickly enough!) about his family's various exploits, much to the annoyance of the other engines, who wished he'd give it a rest!

But Gordon would not give it a rest, and spent most of the next year going on and on about Mallard and Flying Scotsman. Things eventually grew so dire that the Fat Controller reached out to Mallard and Flying Scotsman's owners to see if the engines would like to come out to Sodor just so Gordon would stop.

Unfortunately, things had not gone as planned. While Flying Scotsman was just as charming and gregarious as he always was, Mallard... was not.

Within a few days of his arrival, engines up and down the Island had begun complaining of the A4's attitude, which ranged from snooty and aloof to cold and even downright hostile depending on whom he spoke to:

"You should have heard the things he said when he thought BoCo was gone!" Edward said crossly one morning at the junction. "I've never heard such remarks about diesels!"

"Did he say anything about you?" James growled. "He told me - to my face - that my class was a "insignificant footnote in history".

Percy looked over, expression dark, at where the express engine was sitting at the coaling tower next to Gordon and Scotsman. "He hasn't said anything to me yet, but I think he knows where his bearings are greased."

"What?" Edward was confused.

"Keep it to yourselves," Percy explained. "But I think those books about us are a bit more popular on the mainland than we think. He thinks he can get away with being a sore axle to you because you aren't famous."

"And you are?" James snapped back.

"No," Percy admitted. "But Thomas is, and every time I've seen that great Wedge is when Thomas, Gordon, or Flying Scotsman is nearby."

The three engines looked at each other.

"So not only is he a rude heap of scrap iron," James began. "But he's also a glory hound?"

"Seems so."

"What a berk."

-

This brings us back to Tidmouth Sheds. Henry had been away at the works for several days, and returned to the big station on an evening goods train from Crovan's Gate. Mallard, Gordon, Scotsman, and several other engines were already in the shed when Henry backed in.

Pleasantries were exchanged with the other engines, but when Henry tried to say hello to Mallard, trouble started.

"You aren't a Black Five, are you?" Mallard asked, suspicion colouring his voice.

"You have a very good eye!" Henry chortled, unaware of Mallard's personality. "I've been rebuilt quite thoroughly - Stanier was the most recent one, about 50 years ago now."

"Really? And what were you rebuilt from?" Mallard asked, even more suspicious than before.

Across the shed, Donald, Douglas, and Duck looked at each other with growing concern. Henry's origins were well known to the Island, as was Mallard's superiority complex - this conversation would not end well.

"-and well, at the end of the day, I think I was originally built out of a rejected first draft for Gordon!" Henry laughed a little. "Of course, that was a long time ago."

A lengthy silence followed that.

Gordon and Scotsman looked at each other. They'd never considered that Henry might share a common origin with them.

Douglas, Donald, and Duck looked concerned. They could see Mallard's expression turn increasingly thunderous.

"Gordon, my dear cousin." Mallard eventually said, his tone practically poisonous. "Did you know that we're in the company of a fraud?"

-

The noise did not stop. No matter what anyone did to quell the argument, it would quickly start up again as Gordon or Scotsman tried to make their increasingly-recalcitrant cousin apologize to Henry. Mallard's responses were so rude that they don't bear repeating here, and each time sparked off a new round of shouting.

They would likely have gone on until dawn broke over the horizon, and only did stop when Henry's crew arrived to light his fire for the Flying Kipper. They had heard the argument all the way from the station carpark, and decided that the only way to end this was by separating Mallard from everyone else.

-

"- you expect me to pull what?!" As an uncooperative Mallard was driven towards the docks, the rest of the engines looked at each other, wide-eyed and emotionally exhausted.

"I never want to speak to him again." Gordon said, his voice scratchy and raw from a night of shouting.

"Gordon," Henry began.

"I'm serious." Gordon rasped. "He has no right to speak to you that way. As far as I'm concerned, he is the fraud, not you."

This drew raised eyebrows across the shed. "How is he the fraud, Gordon?" Duck asked. "It's not like he isn't a Gresley."

"He might look like one," Gordon growled. "But he isn't. No true Gresley would ever speak to another engine like that. There is a code. Honor. Dignity. Respect. It's the Gresley - nay - the North Eastern way."

The other engines stared at him. They were all well aware of how Gordon had treated Henry during his first few years on the Island.

"Don't look at me like that!" He snapped. "I was young and I was stupid then. And I have apologized." He looked in the direction Mallard had gone. "He has no such excuse."

The other engines looked at each other. They were all very upset at Mallard's rudeness, but clearly he'd struck a nerve in Gordon.

They wanted to say something, but by that point, the firelighters had arrived to prepare everyone for their morning trains, and the clatter and noise made conversation impossible. When the sheds had finally quieted down, Donald and Scotsman - who did not have morning trains - had fallen so deeply asleep that they slept until noon.

-

Everyone else spent the rest of the day in an exhausted haze. Henry was falling asleep any time his wheels stopped turning, and Gordon's temper had become shorter and shorter as the day had gone on. Even Scotsman, who had managed some sleep, was still groggy to the point of slurring his words.

Mallard, who had also been up all night, was equally snappish, especially after his run with the Flying Kipper. His owners had agreed to let the Fat Controller run him in normal services as well as rail tours, thinking that it would be a nice change from being kept inside the National Railway Museum all the time. However, Mallard actually enjoyed the light duties of being a museum engine, and found real work to be unpleasant and tiring.

He had not been quiet about this either, and this meant that when Mallard arrived in Barrow with the Flying Kipper, Henry's crew was already fed up with him. They left him in Barrow yard and stalked into the yard master's office, and immediately asked for their engine to be assigned the heaviest, most difficult train available.

That train turned out to be a special load of unfitted stone wagons bound for the harbour at Arlesburgh. Mallard made heavy weather of the trip, and it took him almost five hours of slow and dusty running to reach Duck's branch line. His train was of particularly low priority, and he had been shunted into almost every siding on the line, something which rankled his express engine sensibilities enormously. His axles ached and he was so tired that he was almost seeing double.

Mallard tried to rest once he'd delivered the train to Arlesburgh, but Duck hadn't forgotten the things that had been said about Henry, and blew his whistle, wheeshed steam, and generally made a nuisance of himself to keep Mallard awake. When Duck left, Donald and Douglas arrived and picked up where he left off.

When the time finally came to return to Tidmouth, Mallard was in a state of outraged and overtired hysteria. He'd been awake for more than thirty hours at this point, had been yelled at by engines who were defending a fraud, and had been made to do real work! It was disgraceful! Despicable! Absolutely disgusting!

He continued fuming all the way to Tidmouth station, and was subjected to further indignities when he was left alone on the far goods platform.

At first, he thought that it would be possible to get some rest at long last, but that hope was dashed when a pair of green tenders backed down next to him.

“What on earth do you want, Cousin?”

“What is wrong with you.” Scotsman didn’t phrase it as a question. He glared at the A4 through exhausted eyes.

“You’ll have to be more specific.” Mallard said graciously. “My paintwork is a touch shabby, my valves are worn, and I feel as though I could do with some more grease and lubri-”

“You know what I mean.”

“Oh that?”

“Yes. That.”

“Well I’m not sure that there’s anything left to talk about my dear Scotsman - you certainly seemed content to say your piece all through the night, and into the morning as well!”

“They- I- You- You have been preened and fettled just a bit too much, alright? It’s gone to your smokebox, and not in a good way.”

“Oh please. You and I both know I’m correct. That abomination is nothing more than a waste of good metal. He should have been confined to the cutting room floor just like his drawings.”

I can’t believe I’m listening to this. You sound like Deltic - you know, the original Deltic? The prototype who had BR’s men so far down his intakes that they were able to turn him evil?”

“I can’t say I’m familiar.”

“He said that he was inevitable, and that he would surpass us in every way, and that we would all fall to his greatness. He was a supremacist git, Duckie, just like you are right now.”

“I’d kindly ask you not to lump me in with monsters such as that.”

“Then stop acting like him. Actually, I take that back - do start acting like him; I had the chance to meet him a few years ago at the Science Museum - he’s had a complete turnaround, spent an entire hour telling me how sorry he was for everything. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you apologize for something in my entire life.”

“Well I’ve never had to, and I doubt that I ever will have to.”

“Why don’t you start. Today.”

“Oh, be sensible! Why are you supporting the Mongrel anyways?”

“He’s -” Scotsman cut himself off. “All right, even if we ignored what you said about Henry - which we will not, by the way - Gordon is furious about this. I’ve never seen him so mad and neither have the other engines who live with him! You owe him an apology on top of everything else!”

“Feh! I don’t owe him anything! He’s scarcely better than the fraud!”

“I beg your pardon.”

“Oh don’t look at me like that! He’s a prototype! A first draft! A rough approximation of what was to come! Don’t tell me you haven’t looked at him! His running board has more in common with the Forgery than you or I, and they’ve even removed his center cylinder! His center cylinder! And his Gresley motion! The two things that make our line stand out above all the rest! He’s as much of a Gresley as that box on wheels they put on the Woodhead line! The only reason I afford him any respect at all is because he’s managed to ingratiate himself to that clergyman with a predilection for children’s books!”

“First of all, Tommy is just a much of a Gresley as we are-”

“Bah!”

“And second, where do you draw the line? Are there no true Gresleys other than you? Is it limited to just your class? Or does one have to be famous? Is Green Arrow a true Gresley according to you? Are Dwight or Dominion true Gresleys? Are the J50s? Am I?”

“Stop being melodramatic. Your undesirable shape aside, you are of course a Gresley, and so are -”

“Undesirable shape.”

“What? Oh yes, it’s very unfortunate, but true.”

“How so?”

“Well, it’s rather obvious if you think about it.”

“Enlighten me.”

“Just look at those of us who survived - they only preserved one or two of the rest of our family classes - just look at yourself, they only saved you because of your record - but they’ve preserved myself and five others! Clearly we are more desirable than the rest of you, and I have seen for myself how popular a streamlined body is.”

“You vainglorious little bas-”

“In fact, and I mean no offense, but if it had been Silver Link, Sir Ralph, or even a Thompson or a Peppercorn who hit the ton instead of you, they would be here and you wouldn’t. It’s that simple.”

Even through his exhaustion, everything Scotsman saw was beginning to get this strange red colouring. “You’ve crossed a line now, and you are going-”

“I’ve crossed a line?!” Mallard scoffed. “Scotsman, cousin, I am the line. The Line, against which Gresleys - no, all steam locomotives are measured against. I achieved something that no locomotive has done before or since, and I did so with loose valves, a failing cylinder, and a heavy-handed driver. You did something that Truro probably did before you were even drawn, except that you had the good sense to bring a dynamometer!”

Mallard paused. His smokebox was ringing like a damned bell, he was so tired, and he didn’t have any desire to be kind today. “And in case you start getting any ideas above your station about your fame or your glory and if that affords you some unearned amount of additional respect, old iron, let us remember that when BR decided to form the National Collection, They. Didn’t. Want. You.”

Scotsman was about to burst a boiler tube. He opened his mouth to say something equally hurtful when an aggrieved sounding “AHEM” could be heard from beside him.

There on the platform was the Fat Controller, who had heard everything, and was as angry as Scotman had ever seen a human being get.

“Oh, what is it now?” Mallard griped, showing that he had no sense in his smokebox at all.

-

Later

The Fat Controller spoke to the big engines that night. “Due to, err, extenuating circumstances, Mallard had to return to the mainland early.”

Exhausted cheers met this.

“Now, I understand that some of you might be disappointed by this,” The Fat Controller ignored them. “but not to worry. I have spoken to a gentleman whom I know very well, and I have arranged for another locomotive of Mallard’s type to arrive shortly. That way we will be able to accommodate all the people who have come out to see Gordon, Flying Scotsman, and Mallard all together.”

That engine turned out to be Union of South Africa - or Osprey, as she preferred to be called nowadays. She was Mallard’s polar opposite - bouncy and excitable, she relished the chance to have some “real work”, and made fast friends with the engines of Sodor before nightfall of her first day on the Island.

“Why couldn’t we have had her before?” BoCo asked the shed at large. “And do we have to give her back?”

Everyone laughed at this, and when Osprey herself backed into the shed a while later, she was met with genuine smiles.

“You all seem happy about something!” She chirped.

“We’re just glad that you aren’t rude like the last one was.” James said with surprisingly upbeat bluntness.

“Duckie...” She sighed. “What did he do now?”

Everyone told her, and when they finished, the happy mood in the shed had darkened significantly.

“So he thinks he’s in a class of his own, does he?” She said quietly. “He should know better than to say things like that.”

Even Scotsman looked at her quizzically at that.

“He’s… been doing this for some time.” She explained. “Being earmarked for preservation, not having to worry while we all did… it did things to him. We’ve all tried to make him stop - it gives the rest of us a bad name! - but with myself, Bittern, and Nigel on other sides of the country, there isn’t a lot we can do. And he clearly doesn’t respect anyone else’s opinions on the matter.” She looked at Scotsman significantly when she said this - Mallard hadn’t so much crossed the line as he’d driven over it at 127 miles per hour.

“Well we must do something.” BoCo, of all engines, spoke up from the other side of the shed. “Forgive me if I’m treading on any Gresley family ground here, but if one of my brothers had spoken like that, the rest of us would have paid him out from now ‘til the new millennium.”

Gordon, Osprey, and Scotsman looked at each other for a moment.

“I suppose we should…” Gordon began.

“He certainly deserves it.” Osprey said.

“But what could we do to him that isn’t wanton cruelty?” Scotsman pondered. “We are trying to be the bigger engines here, let’s remember.”

The engines paused for a moment to come up with ideas, but the quiet was soon broken as Henry was driven into the shed.

“You all look contemplative.” He said as he was spun around on the turntable.

“We’re just trying to - my word,” Osprey said as she took in Henry’s form. “You do look like one of us - no amount of Stanier meddling can change that.”

A pair of gasps rang out as Gordon and Scotsman had the same thought at the same time.

As everyone else looked at them, they both turned their attention to Henry.

“Henry…” Gordon said slowly. “Have I ever mentioned how-”

“I know what you’re thinking.” Henry said quickly, cutting him off. “And I will not be a party to it.”

“Oh come now, cousin.” Scotsman said slyly. “Tell me that you can’t see the appeal of this?”

“I’ve been in the same shed as your lineage for sixty years,” Henry said. “I will not be involv-”

“I see you haven’t given up on insulting children, have you?” Sir Nigel said as he was backed into the next road. Mallard was in the back of the shed, sulking; he’d been put back there several hours early after the parents at the heritage railroad’s open day had started complaining.

“They are sticky, and stupid, and young.” Mallard grimaced. “I don’t know how you put up with them.”

“I put up with them because I like them, and more importantly, they like me.” Sir Nigel said. “If they grow up not liking steam engines, then how will we survive when they’re adults? Boilers don’t grow on trees, you know - their ticket revenues will someday pay for them!”

A vulgar noise followed this, and the other A4 rolled his eyes. “Ah yes, Super-Engine is a piece of history; they’ll never rid themselves of you.”

“Did you come in here for a purpose, or am I to be stuck with you until the morning?”

“Yes to both, unfortunately enough.”

“Well, out with it - I want my beauty sleep.”

“I think you’d have to sleep for a month to manage any of that-”

“Why you-!”

“-but I do have some family news.”

“What is it? Be quick.”

“Did you know that they found another A1 prototype? I don’t know how this has only now come to light, but-”

“I said be quick.”

“ - but, new documents have come to light in Sodor. Apparently their 4-6-0 - I cannot for the life of me remember his name, but he’s the green one in the books - he’s one of us! Scotsman, Gordon, and Osprey all vouch for his pedigree, and when I saw Arrow, he was ecstatic at the prospect of expanding the family a little. Oh, and Morayshire is already champing at the bit to go out there and welcome him in person…”

Sir Nigel kept talking for some time, but Mallard didn’t hear him.

They adopted the fraud. Those savages.

[djs-sideblog-for-pog-trains]

Friends (that we made up for along the way) Chapter 1

Part 1 | Part 2 >

i told myself i wouldn’t stay up at late as 3am again but here i am posting fic.The start of my Big Gordon-centric Fic and if yall dont mind im gonna tag the people who have expressed interest in this at the bottom of this post

titled in my folder as ‘gordon learning to respect edward’ but has become ‘gordon learns its okay to like his friends’.

Characters: Gordon, Edward, Henry, Thomas, Percy, James, Duck, Sir Topham Hatt, (mentioning all characters who have and will appear, even if they haven’t yet)

Relationships: platonic gordon&edward a major focus, some possible allusions to 2x3 later on.

Genre: Human AU, hurt/comfort

Chapter’s Wordcount: roughly 1300 words [under the cut]

Chapter Warnings: none I can think of

Chapter 1/?

Chapter 1

When Gordon first arrived at the North Western Railway on the Island of Sodor, he hadn’t really known what to expect. But certainly not one kind-of short fellow in a crisp-but-well-worn blue uniform, hair only just going grey at the temples, and a timetable that couldn’t be more full if he tried.

The first impression Gordon got of Edward was that this man could not be more swept off his feet if someone handed Gordon a broom and told him to have at it.

When Sir Topham Hatt told him he’d be in good hands, and left them to it after a few introductions, Gordon had not been impressed. But Edward had been quick to set down the crates he’d been moving and shake his hand firmly. His eyes were dark and tired, but sparkling none-the-less.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” he had said sincerely. “Now, come along with me, and I’ll show you around.”

Gordon had been the newest addition at the time, only preceded by two other workers called Thomas and Henry. And shortly after that, the newest hire was a man called James. And by god, if it’d been up to Gordon, this railway would have fallen apart in three days from how hard they all preceded to butt heads.

Thomas came up to about half-way up Gordon’s chest, and was much stronger than he looked – impressively so. Gordon could almost respect him if he not only wasn’t the most spiteful being he’d ever met, but was also dead set on the idea that if you weren’t working yourself ragged you weren’t doing anything; which Gordon had decided was nonsense, and he’d never understand it.

Henry was the first person that Gordon had ever met that was taller than him, and seemed to spend every second of the day regretting it. It was weird for Gordon too. He’d never really met anyone his size, let alone bigger; let alone with no spine to match, so found it particularly hard to find any respect for him, especially with all his lording over how ill he was all the time.

But Edward? He had more patience in his pinkie finger than Gordon had in his whole body, and not only was the only person aside from Sir Topham Hatt himself to be able to wrangle Thomas, but had even gotten Henry to unwind a little in the time it was just the four of them.

Then, James came.

And well, that had really changed the dynamics. The one thing that Gordon had immediately decided about James was that if he could ever shut up about himself, he might actually be a nice person.

Edward had gone a fair amount greyer in the time Gordon had been here – and not that he’d been in the pinnacle of youth when Gordon arrived, it just was… more noticeable now. The salt-and-pepper in his hair had faded into something more solidly greying, there were more wrinkles lining his face, and more of them were from frowning than smiling.

But Gordon hadn’t really afforded himself the time to worry about Edward. Not when he had so many things to do.

When Henry got himself sealed up for a few weeks, Gordon and James had complained about the extra workload so very much that the Fat Controller himself had come down to the yard, fully ignoring the two of them, and asked Edward to take on more work, if he could.

Edward tried his very best not to grimace. Then he stretched, yawned, and nodded.

“Of course, sir.”

Gordon and James had, at the time, been very proud of themselves for getting out of the extra work. But a couple nights later, when Edward had trudged in finally at quarter-past-midnight, barely registering that Gordon was still up and awake and sitting in an armchair reading (he’d been waiting for him, actually, curious to see when he’d return) and had all but stumbled over to the couch and draped himself over the thing, eyes closing and asleep within the minute, Gordon had to take a moment to swallow down the wave of guilt that hit him.

He might, then, have carried Edward to bed, stripping the man’s jacket off and hanging on the back of his desk chair, before tugging a blanket over him and hurrying from the room himself.

The next morning, Gordon and James were chatting over morning cups of tea, still getting ready for the day, when Edward came rushing past, hair still a mess, barely seeming awake, frantically pulling his jacket on, already hurrying towards the door.

“Good morning!” he called as he went. “I’ll see you at lunch.”

“Aren’t you going to eat?” Gordon asked before he could catch himself. James shot him a funny look, before realising that yeah, Edward rushing out the door wasn’t going to be good for him, and fixing that funny look on Edward, who was shifting on his feet and drifting towards the door.

“I’m already late enough as it is,” Edward shook his head. “I… I was supposed to pull the Flying Kipper this morning, seeing as Henry’s… well, you know. But, as you can see,” he laughed a little, but it was strained, and he nodded towards the clock reading 7.30am, “it’s not exactly 5am.”

Gordon winced.

“Anyway!” Edward opened the door and flashed them a smile. “I’ll see you two at lunch.”

And then he was gone, the door flashing closed behind him.

There was a moment of silence, before James turned back to buttering his toast. “That was kind of weird,” he said idly.

Gordon stared at the door, lips pressed into a thin line, before turning back to his breakfast that was a little too hard to swallow. 

--- --- ---

He caught Edward at about 10.30am, as their timetables intersected at Knapford. They both had a short break, and Edward lowered himself gingerly from the cab to realise that Gordon was there, waiting for him.

“Oh!” he blinked, before covering up with a smile. “Gordon! Did you need something?”

Gordon cleared his throat and pulled out the large thermos from under his arm. “I… would you…” he stammered, before tilting his head up to look at the sky, as if asking for something to send him the strength to have this conversation. “I have tea.”

Edward blinked. “I see that,” he agreed. “…What of it?”

“Share it with me,” Gordon asked without really asking, before making his way over to a bench on the platform and sitting down, where he’d left two travel cups and a tupperware container behind.

Edward slowly approached, before sitting down gingerly, like he wasn’t sure if he was being duped or not. But Gordon thrust the thermos and the container into his hands.

“I…” Gordon cleared his throat. “I’ll take the Flying Kipper on Friday.”

Edward was too busy staring down at the things in his hands to reply, but when Gordon’s words sunk in, his head snapped up. “What?”

“The… the Kipper,” Gordon said. “I’ll take it on Friday. I’ve already spoken to Sir Topham Hatt.”

“Oh,” Edward said. “Oh, you didn’t have to do that, I know you hate goods trains.”

“Never you mind that,” Gordon huffed, and he took the thermos out of Edward’s hands before he dropped it and poured two cups of tea, before handing the cup back.

Edward took it, bewildered, staring at it like he expected this to be a joke. But when Gordon only sipped his own tea, Edward shrugged and drank himself, before prising open the container.

“Oh!” he exclaimed, in that way Edward always did when he was delighted. “Oh, thank you, Gordon.”

“I have to get back to my train,” Gordon stood up quickly, brushing down his jacket for crumbs that weren’t there. “…You’re welcome. I’ll see you at lunch.”

And he stiffly walked back to his train, feeling Edward’s bewildered eyes on him, only glancing back to check Edward was eating what he’d packed, before continuing on with his train.

And he wasn’t smiling to himself. He wasn’t.

--- --- --- --- --- --- --

--- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

This has been the first chapter of my big fuckn fic!!! i have like, 10 written already and it’s not done plus no idea where it’s probably going to finish so >:)

i might post chapter 2 tonight while im still up but it takes me ages to format these and it’s nearly 4am so i might not. feedback appreciated.

this chapter is more exposition heavy than the rest, my style usually relies more on dialogue and it’s chapter 1 of an au. its always gonna be that way. i’ll expand on wordbuilding the more this goes on so if shit’s confusing now it might be explained later.

thank you for reading hope you ahve an awesome rest of your day.

tagging: @togetherness23 @theflyingkipper @whistlingstarlight @jobey-wan-kenobi (unrelatedly, am i right to assume you are also mean-scarlet-deceiver? if that’s the case i can tag that one next time, im just not fully sure yet dfkjdfhgf) @robotic-railways

let me know if you want to be tagged in future, or Not Tagged in future. i dont mind :)

[cappymightwrite]

Jon Snow, Manfred & The Byronic Hero: Part 2

Previous Posts: PART 1

Hopefully Part 1 served as a good introduction on the topic and characteristics of the Byronic Hero, as well as how Jon Snow in particular is likely an iteration of this figure. But now we come to the real meat of this meta series — a closer look at Byron's dramatic poem Manfred (1816–1817), and more importantly, its titular character in comparison to Jon Snow. I was originally going to do an analysis and comparison of two key episodes in Manfred and A Storm of Swords, Jon VI, but have since decided to give that its own post... that's right kids, there will be a part 3!

(Detail from Lord Byron, Thomas Phillips, 1813)

So... why Manfred? Why not Childe Harold's Pilgrimage, or The Corsair, or Don Juan, or any other work by Lord Byron? Well, I'll tell you why, my sweet summer children. It's because of THIS:

Manfred/Manfryds and Byrons in ASOIAF, by order of first appearance and publication:

Ser Manfred Swann (ASOS, Jaime VIII)

Ser Manfred Dondarrion (The Hedge Knight)

Manfred Lothston (The Sworn Sword)

Manfryd o' the Black Hood (AFFC, Brienne I)

Manfryd Yew (AFFC, Jaime V)

Ser Byron the Beautiful (AFFC, Alayne II, TWOW, Alayne I)

Ser Byron Swann (ADWD, Tyrion III)

Manfryd Merlyn of Kite (ADWD, Victarion I)

Manfryd Mooton, Lord of Maidenpool (The Princess and the Queen, TWOIAF)

Manfred Hightower, Lord of the Hightower (TWOIAF)

Manfred Hightower, Lord of the Hightower (Fire and Blood)

Like... what the hell, George?

I find this very interesting, very interesting indeed! *cough* intentional, very intentional *cough* And I have to thank @agentrouka-blog for reminding me of the existence of these Manfreds/Manfryds, and thus pointing me in this particular direction. This evidence is, for me, my smoking gun, it's why I feel justified in exploring this specific work. In my opinion, it really strongly confirms that GRRM is aware of Manfred, he is aware of its author — as a literary name, it is pretty much exclusively connected to Byron, it's like Hamlet to Shakespeare, or Heathcliff to Emily Brontë. In fact, GRRM likes it enough to use this name several times in fact, its frequency of use aided by a slight variation on its spelling.

So, as we can see, there are a striking number of Manfred/Manfryds (9!!) featured in the ASOIAF universe, whereas Byron (2) is used a bit more sparingly — perhaps because the latter, if more liberally used, would become far more recognisable as an overt literary reference? Interestingly, though, we can see a direct link between the two names as both bear the surname Swann: Ser Manfred Swann and Ser Byron Swann (note the exact spelling of Manfred here, as opposed to Manfryd). Ser Byron was alive during the Dance of Dragons and died trying to kill the dragon Syrax, whereas Ser Manfred was alive during Aegon V's reign and had a young Ser Barristan as his squire. So, in terms of ancestry, Byron came before Manfred, which makes sense since Lord Byron created the character of Manfred; he is his authorial/literary progenitor, if you will.

But why Swann, though? Is there any significance to that surname? Well, I did a little bit of digging and turned up something very interesting, at least in my opinion. In Percy Bysshe Shelley's poem Lines written among the Euganean Hills (1818), in its sixth stanza, the poet addresses the city of Venice... the “tempest-cleaving Swan” in the eighth line is clearly meant to be his friend and contemporary, Lord Byron, that city’s most famous expatriate:

That a tempest-cleaving Swan Of the songs of Albion, Driven from his ancestral streams By the might of evil dreams, Found a nest in thee;

(st. 6, l. 8-12)

Ah ha! But let's not forget that the Swanns are also a house from the stormlands — stormlander Swanns vs. "tempest-cleaving Swan." It seems a nice little homage, doesn't it? You could also argue that the battling swans of House Swann's sigil are a possible reference to Byron's fondness for boxing (he apparently received "pugilistic tuition" at a club in Bond Street, London). But to make the references to Byron too overt would ruin the subtly, so it isn't necessary, in my opinion, for the Swanns to be completely steeped in Byronisms.

All in all, it would be very neat of GRRM if the reasoning behind Byron and Manfred Swann is because of this reference to Lord Byron by Shelley. How these names and the characters that bear them might further reference Byron and Manfred is a possible discussion for another day! It's all just very interesting, very noteworthy, and highlights how careful GRRM is at choosing the names of his characters, even very minor, seemingly insignificant ones.

(Illustration of Villa Diodati from Finden's Illustrations of the Life and Works of Lord Byron, Edward Finden, 1833)

Now onto the actual poem, and the ways in which Jon Snow could being referencing/paralleling Manfred. First things first, a bit of biographical context. Take my hand, and let's travel back in time, way back when, to 1816, the year in which Lord Byron left England forever, his reputation in tatters due to the collapse of his marriage and the rumours of an affair with his half-sister, Augusta Leigh (plus he was hugely in debt). No doubt, most of us are familiar with the story, but in 1816 Byron travelled to Switzerland, to a villa on Lake Geneva, where he met the Shelleys and suggested that they all pass the time by writing ghost stories.

The most famous story produced by them was, of course, Mary Shelley's Frankenstein (1818) — which may have served as the partial inspiration behind Qyburn and Robert Strong! Byron himself did begin a story but soon gave it up (yesss, we love an unproductive king); it was completed, however, by his personal physician, John William Polidori, and eventually published, under Byron's name, as The Vampyre (1819). But Byron didn't completely abandon the ghost story project, as later that summer, after a visit by the Gothic novelist M. G. Lewis, he wrote his "supernatural" tragedy, Manfred (1817).*

*I've seen it dated as 1816-17, but the crucial thing to rememeber, in terms of Byron's own biography, is that unlike The Bride of Abydos, he wrote it after his departure from England... this theme of exile will come up later.

Manfred is what is called a "closet drama", so is structured much like a play, with acts and scenes, though it wouldn't have actually been intended to be performed on stage. Indeed, Lord Byron first described Manfred to his publisher as "a kind of poem in dialogue... but of a very wild—metaphysical—and inexplicable kind": "Almost all the persons—but two or three—are Spirits... the hero [is] a kind of magician who is tormented by a species of remorse—the cause of which is left half unexplained—he wanders about invoking these spirits—which appear to him—& are of no use—he at last goes to the very abode of the Evil principle in propria persona [i.e. in person]—to evocate a ghost—which appears—& gives him an ambiguous & disagreeable answer..."*

*As in Part 1, more academic references will be listed in a bibliography at the end of this post.

To sum up the narrative for you, Manfred is a nobleman living in the Bernese Alps, "tormented by a species of remorse", which is never fully explained, but is clearly connected to the death of his beloved Astarte. Through his mastery of poetic language and spell-casting, he is able to summon seven "spirits", from whom he seeks the gift of forgetfulness, but this plea cannot be granted — he cannot escape from his past. He is also prevented from escaping his mysterious guilt by taking his own life, but in the end, Manfred does die, thus defying religious temptations of redemption from sin. He therefore stands outside of societal expectations, a Romantic rebel who succeeds in challenging all of the authoritative powers he faces, ultimately choosing death over submission to the powerful spirits.

According to Lara Assaad, the character of Manfred is the "Byronic hero par excellence", as he shares its typical characteristics found in Byron's other work (as discussed in Part 1), "yet pushed to the extreme." As noted above, there is a defiance to Manfred's character, which is arguable also found in Jon. Certainly though, in all of Byron's works, the Byronic Hero appears as "a negative Romantic protagonist" to a certain extent, a being who is "filled with guilt, despair, and cosmic and social alienation," observes James B. Twitchell. I'll come back to those characteristics presently.

As noted by Assaad, "Byron scholars seem to agree on this definition of the Byronic Hero, however they focus mainly, if not exclusively, on the dynamics of guilt and remorse." Indeed, it is only in more recent years that the incest motif, as well as the influence of Byron's own biography, have been more widely discussed. But perhaps the most compelling aspect of the Byronic Hero is his complex psychology. Although trauma theory only really started to flourish during the 1990s, thus providing deeper insight into the symptoms that follow a traumatic experience, it nevertheless seems, at least to Assaad, that "Byron was familiar with it well before it was first discussed by professionals and diagnosed." As we know, GRRM began writing his series, A Song of Ice and Fire, during the 1990s, and character trauma and its effects feature heavily in his work, most notably in the case of Theon Greyjoy, but also in the memory editing of Sansa Stark in terms of the infamous "Unkiss".*

*The editing, or supressing, of memories is not exclusive to Sansa, however. E.g @agentrouka-blog has theorised a possible memory edit with regards to Tyrion and his first wife Tysha.

But if we return back to that original quote, in which GRRM makes the comparison between Jon and the Byronic Hero, his following statement is also very interesting:

The character I’m probably most like in real life is Samwell Tarly. Good old Sam. And the character I’d want to be? Well who wouldn’t want to be Jon Snow — the brooding, Byronic, romantic hero whom all the girls love. Theon [Greyjoy] is the one I’d fear becoming. Theon wants to be Jon Snow, but he can’t do it. He keeps making the wrong decisions. He keeps giving into his own selfish, worst impulses. [source]

As noted by @princess-in-a-tower, there is a close correspondence between Jon and Theon, with each acting as the other's foil in many respects. In fact, Theon does sort of tick off a few of the Byronic qualities I discussed last time, most notably standing apart from society, that "society" being the Starks in Winterfell, due to him essentially being a hostage. Later on, we see him develop a sense of deep misery as well due to his horrific treatment at the hands of Ramsey Snow. Like Theon, his narrative foil, Jon is also a character deeply informed by trauma (being raised a bastard), but the way they ultimately process and express that specific displacement trauma differs profoundly — Theon expresses it outwardly through his sacking of Winterfell, whereas Jon turns his trauma notably inwards.*

*Obviously, I'm not a medical professional — I'm more looking at this from a literary angle, but the articles I've read for this post do include reference to real medical definitions etc.

Previously, I observed how being "deeply jaded" and having "misery in his heart" were key characteristics of the Byronic Hero, as well as Jon Snow — this trauma theory is a continuation of that. Indeed, to bring it back to Manfred, Assaad goes as far as stating that the poem's titular hero "suffers from what is now widely recognised as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)." I am purposely holding off on discussing what the origin of that trauma is, in relation to Manfred specifically, because, well... it needs a bit of forewarning before I get into it fully. Instead, let's look at the emotions it exacerabates or gives rise to, as detailed by Twitchell, and how they might be evident in Jon and his feelings regarding his bastard status.

(Jonny Lee Miller as Byron in the two part BBC series Byron, 2003)

Guilt

Does Jon suffer guilt due to him being a bastard and secretly wanting to "steal" his siblings' birthright? I'd say a strong yes:

When Jon had been Bran's age, he had dreamed of doing great deeds, as boys always did. The details of his feats changed with every dreaming, but quite often he imagined saving his father's life. Afterward Lord Eddard would declare that Jon had proved himself a true Stark, and place Ice in his hand. Even then he had known it was only a child's folly; no bastard could ever hope to wield a father's sword. Even the memory shamed him. What kind of man stole his own brother's birthright? I have no right to this, he thought, no more than to Ice. – AGOT, Jon VIII He wanted it, Jon knew then. He wanted it as much as he had ever wanted anything. I have always wanted it, he thought, guiltily. May the gods forgive me. – ASOS, Jon XII

But I think Jon's sense of guilt also extends to the high expectations he sets for himself, his "moral superiority" in the face of his bastard status, as discussed in Part 1. He feels guilt pulling him in two different directions, in regards to Ygritte: guilt for loving her, for breaking his vows, and potentially risking a bastard, but also guilt for leaving her, for abandoning her, and potentially leaving her unprotected:

His guilt came back afterward, but weaker than before. If this is so wrong, he wondered, why did the gods make it feel so good? – ASOS, Jon III Ygritte was much in his thoughts as well. He remembered the smell of her hair, the warmth of her body... and the look on her face as she slit the old man's throat. You were wrong to love her, a voice whispered. You were wrong to leave her, a different voice insisted. He wondered if his father had been torn the same way, when he'd left Jon's mother to return to Lady Catelyn. He was pledged to Lady Stark, and I am pledged to the Night's Watch. – ASOS, Jon VI "I broke my vows with her. I never meant to, but..." It was wrong. Wrong to love her, wrong to leave her..."I wasn't strong enough. The Halfhand commanded me, ride with them, watch, I must not balk, I..." His head felt as if it were packed with wet wool. – ASOS, Jon VI

This guilt surrounding leaving the women/girls he cares about unprotected also extends to Arya. Yet it was his need to prove himself as something more than just a bastard, by joining the Watch, which initially prevents him from acting, and which also makes him feel guilt for being a hyprocrite:

Jon felt as stiff as a man of sixty years. Dark dreams, he thought, and guilt. His thoughts kept returning to Arya. There is no way I can help her. I put all kin aside when I said my words. If one of my men told me his sister was in peril, I would tell him that was no concern of his. Once a man had said the words his blood was black. Black as a bastard's heart. – ADWD, Jon VI

I think there is a lack of reconciliation between Jon and his bastard status, between what being a bastard implies in their society: lustful, deceitful, treacherous, more "worldly" etc. Deep down, subconsciously, Jon really rebels against it. You can see that rebellion more clearly in his memories as a younger child, less inhibited:

Every morning they had trained together, since they were big enough to walk; Snow and Stark, spinning and slashing about the wards of Winterfell, shouting and laughing, sometimes crying when there was no one else to see. They were not little boys when they fought, but knights and mighty heroes. "I'm Prince Aemon the Dragonknight," Jon would call out, and Robb would shout back, "Well, I'm Florian the Fool." Or Robb would say, "I'm the Young Dragon," and Jon would reply, "I'm Ser Ryam Redwyne." That morning he called it first. "I'm Lord of Winterfell!" he cried, as he had a hundred times before. Only this time, this time, Robb had answered, "You can't be Lord of Winterfell, you're bastard-born. My lady mother says you can't ever be the Lord of Winterfell." I thought I had forgotten that. Jon could taste blood in his mouth, from the blow he'd taken. – ASOS, Jon XII

But Jon knows this truth about himself, he knows that he has "always wanted it", and that causes him so much guilt because he can't allow himself to be selfish in that regard, because to do so would confirm for him his worst fears... that he truly is a bastard in nature as well as birth — treacherous, covetous, dishonourable.

Despair

As he grows up, learning to curb his emotional outbursts from AGOT, Jon appears more and more stoic upon the surface. But beneath that, buried in his subconscious in the form of dreams, you have this undyling feeling of despair, this trauma connected to his bastard status, his partially unknown heritage:

Not my mother, Jon thought stubbornly. He knew nothing of his mother; Eddard Stark would not talk of her. Yet he dreamed of her at times, so often that he could almost see her face. In his dreams, she was beautiful, and highborn, and her eyes were kind. – AGOT, Jon III

These recurring dreams, sometimes explicitly involving his unknown mother, sometimes not, represent a clear gap, a gaping blank in Jon's personal history and his perception of his identity:

"Sometimes I dream about it," he said. "I'm walking down this long empty hall. My voice echoes all around, but no one answers, so I walk faster, opening doors, shouting names. I don't even know who I'm looking for. Most nights it's my father, but sometimes it's Robb instead, or my little sister Arya, or my uncle." [...]

"Do you ever find anyone in your dream?" Sam asked.

Jon shook his head. "No one. The castle is always empty." He had never told anyone of the dream, and he did not understand why he was telling Sam now, yet somehow it felt good to talk of it. "Even the ravens are gone from the rookery, and the stables are full of bones. That always scares me. I start to run then, throwing open doors, climbing the tower three steps at a time, screaming for someone, for anyone. And then I find myself in front of the door to the crypts. It's black inside, and I can see the steps spiraling down. Somehow I know I have to go down there, but I don't want to. I'm afraid of what might be waiting for me. The old Kings of Winter are down there, sitting on their thrones with stone wolves at their feet and iron swords across their laps, but it's not them I'm afraid of. I scream that I'm not a Stark, that this isn't my place, but it's no good, I have to go anyway, so I start down, feeling the walls as I descend, with no torch to light the way. It gets darker and darker, until I want to scream." He stopped, frowning, embarrassed. "That's when I always wake." His skin cold and clammy, shivering in the darkness of his cell. Ghost would leap up beside him, his warmth as comforting as daybreak. He would go back to sleep with his face pressed into the direwolf's shaggy white fur. – AGOT, Jon IV

"That always scares me", he says quite tellingly. From this key passage, in particular, we can see that Jon feels a deep rooted despair at essentially being unclaimed, unwanted... being without a solid (Stark) identity around which to draw strength and mould himself. He's afraid of being a lone wolf, because as we all know, "the lone wolf dies, but the pack survives," (AGOT, Arya II).

This dream points him in the direction of the crypts — "somehow I know I have to go down there, but I don't want to" — which actually does have the answers he seeks because that is where Lyanna Stark is buried. Yet Jon is "afraid of what might be waiting for [him]", and wants to "scream" with dispair because of the darkness. So, this need for a confirmed identity is a double edged sword, which will no doubt be further complicated when his true parentage is revealed.

Elsewhere, Jon's dreams continue to have this despairing quality to them, often involving Winterfell, the Starks, and especially Ned, which is very interesting on a psychological level:

The grey walls of Winterfell might still haunt his dreams, but Castle Black was his life now, and his brothers were Sam and Grenn and Halder and Pyp and the other cast-outs who wore the black of the Night's Watch. – AGOT, Jon IV

Last night he had dreamt the Winterfell dream again. He was wandering the empty castle, searching for his father, descending into the crypts. Only this time the dream had gone further than before. In the dark he'd heard the scrape of stone on stone. When he turned he saw that the vaults were opening, one after the other. As the dead kings came stumbling from their cold black graves, Jon had woken in pitch-dark, his heart hammering. Even when Ghost leapt up on the bed to nuzzle at his face, he could not shake his deep sense of terror. He dared not go back to sleep. Instead he had climbed the Wall and walked, restless, until he saw the light of the dawn off to the east. It was only a dream. I am a brother of the Night's Watch now, not a frightened boy. – AGOT, Jon VII

But it is never "only a dream", is it?

And when at last he did sleep, he dreamt, and that was even worse. In the dream, the corpse he fought had blue eyes, black hands, and his father's face, but he dared not tell Mormont that. – AGOT, Jon VIII

Even Jon's conscious daydreams in AGOT revolve around his dispairing search for a solid identity:

When Jon had been Bran's age, he had dreamed of doing great deeds, as boys always did. The details of his feats changed with every dreaming, but quite often he imagined saving his father's life. Afterward Lord Eddard would declare that Jon had proved himself a true Stark, and place Ice in his hand. Even then he had known it was only a child's folly; no bastard could ever hope to wield a father's sword. Even the memory shamed him. What kind of man stole his own brother's birthright? I have no right to this, he thought, no more than to Ice. – AGOT, Jon VIII

A lot of these early dreams occur in A Game of Thrones, probably in response to his removal from Winterfell... his self exile. But later on in the series Jon continues to have dreams that tie him to the Starks and to Winterfell, ominous and sometimes despairing too. There's honestly too many instances to list, but if you want to understand the root of Jon's existential despair... it's in his dreams.

Cosmic Alienation

Cosmic alienation, now that's an interesting one in regards to Jon, since he definitely hasn't reached this state... yet. Life and his belief in the divine (the old gods) still hold meaning for him, but then he gets murdered by his black brothers. In the show, the writers hint at some cosmic alienation through Jon stating that he saw "nothing" whilst dead, but then they take it no further and generally do a piss poor job of post-res Jon. This characteristic of Manfred coming to the fore in Jon depends on what happens in The Winds of Winter, but I don't think it is at all that far fetched to assume that Jon will return to his body with a darker, altered perception of things.

Social Alienation

In Part 1, I discussed how Jon, like Byron's heroes, could be read as a "a rebel who stands apart from society and societal expectations." On a more psychological level, we can see how this Otherness, stemming from his bastard status, deeply affects Jon and his perception of himself and the world:

Benjen Stark gave Jon a long look. "Don't you usually eat at table with your brothers?"

"Most times," Jon answered in a flat voice. "But tonight Lady Stark thought it might give insult to the royal family to seat a bastard among them." – AGOT, Jon I

In his very first chapter, we see him quite literally alienated from the rest of his siblings, made to sit apart from them, an apparent necessity he seems fairly resigned to. Also in Part 1, I gave examples of instances in which Jon is mockingly called "Lord Snow," as well as a "rebel", "turncloak", "half-wildling", all of which serve to alienate him from the rest of the brothers of the Night's Watch.

Stannis gave a curt nod. "Your father was a man of honor. He was no friend to me, but I saw his worth. Your brother was a rebel and a traitor who meant to steal half my kingdom, but no man can question his courage. What of you?" – ASOS, Jon XI

The above interaction may seem on the surface to be about one thing — whether or not Jon will be of help to Stannis, offer him loyalty etc. — but tagged onto the end we have quite a poignant question: "what of you?" What are you, essentially. Who are you? The truth of his parentage may, in part, solve these questions... but it may also serve to alienate Jon from his perception of himself further. Ultimately, who exactly he is — what he believes in, who and what he fights for, etc. — will be solely his decision to make going forward.

So, the Byronic Hero, certainly in Manfred's case, but also in later iterations, is arguably traumatised by his own past. But regardless as to whether his trauma is related to a mysterious past, a secret sin, an unnamed crime, or incest, aka "secret knowledge", what is clear in Assaad's interpretation, is that the Byronic Hero is "living with the traumatic consequences of his own past and so suffers from PTSD." But why is Manfred traumatised, what is the specific cause of this trauma, or how might it reveal something deeper about Jon's own trauma? Now, here we come to the unavoidable... I'm going to start talking about Byronic incest and the pre-canon crush/kiss theory, and how it potentially parallels certain aspects of Manfred.

I should preface this by stating that I don't think Jon is suppressing trauma because he committed intentional incest with Sansa, but I do think (or at least somewhat theorise that) Byronic incest does come into play regarding his intense feelings of guilt and existential despair.

But still, stop reading now if are opposed to discussions of the pre-canon crush/kiss theory and the literary incest motif as a whole!

(Detail from The Funeral of Shelley, Louis Édouard Fournier, 1889)

Hey there to the depraved! If you aren't already familiar with the theory, here are some previous discussions/metas on the subject:

Full Blown Meta:

A Hidden and Forbidden Love by @princess-in-a-tower

Ask Answers (Long):

Jonsa as a more positive mirror to Jaime and Cersei? by @princess-in-a-tower, with additional comment by @jonsameta

Discussing the theory by @jonsameta

Evidence for pre-canon Jonsa? by @agentrouka-blog

Kissing in the godswood? by @agentrouka-blog

Why don't we read about Jon's reaction to Sansa and Tyrion? by @agentrouka-blog

More on Jon's supposed non-reaction by @agentrouka-blog, with additional comment made by @sherlokiness

A Jonsa "Unkiss"? by @fedonciadale

A hidden memory? by @fedonciadale

Sansa's misremembering by @fedonciadale

Descriptive parallels between A Song for Lya and Jonsa by @butterflies-dragons

Ask Answers (Short) & Briefer Mentions:

Jealous Jon by @princess-in-a-tower

Your new boyfriend looks like a girl by @butterflies-dragons

Like in Part 1, I've tried to cite as much as I could find, but as always, if anyone feels like I've missed someone important or that they should be included in the above list, please just drop me a line!

Now, it's a controversial theory, and not everyone's cup of tea — I think that's worth acknowledging! I myself am not wholly married to it, I'd be fine if it wasn't the case, but that being said, I can't in good faith ignore it when considering Lord Byron and the Byronic Hero. The incest is, unfortunately, very hard to ignore, both in his work and in his personal life. It's pretty hard to ignore in Manfred, for that matter, which is why I've held off talking about it... until now!

All aboard the Manfred incest train *choo choo* !!

First stop, Act II, scene one. Oh, wait, an annoucement from your conductor... apologies everyone, I purposely neglected to mention quite a key detail. Remember "Astarte! [Manfred's] beloved!", (II, iv, 136)? Yeah... it's heavily implied that Astarte is in fact Manfred's half-sister. *shoots finger guns* Classic Byron! *facepalms*

Oh, and that's not all! Let's consider the context surrounding the writing of this work for a moment, shall we? Unlike The Bride of Abydos (1813),* Manfred was written notably after the fallout of his incestuous affair with his half-sister, Augusta Leigh, composed whilst in a self-imposed exile. *spits out drink* Woah, woah there cowboy... what in tarnation?! EXILE?!

*As referenced in Part 1, @rose-of-red-lake has written an excellent meta on the influence of Lord Byron's work (and personal life) on Jonsa, paying special attention to the half-siblings turned cousins in The Bride of Abydos.

Although, as noted by rose-of-red-lake, The Bride of Abydos bears strong parallels to the potential romance of Jon and Sansa, as well as Byron’s own angst regarding his relationship with Augusta Leigh, the context surrounding Manfred seems... dare I say it, even more autobiographical. Because like Byron himself, Manfred wanders around the Bernese Alps, solitary and guilt ridden, in a state of exile heavily evocative of Byron's own — as I mentioned earlier, the beginnings of Manfred occured whilst Byron was staying at a villa on Lake Geneva, in Switzerland... the Bernese Alps are located in western Switzerland. In light of this, I think it's very understandable that some critics consider Manfred to be autobiographical, or even confessional. The unnamed but forbidden nature of Manfred's relationship to Astarte is believed to represent Byron's relationship with his half-sister Augusta. But what has that got to do with Jon?

Look, I don't know how else to put this:

Byron self-exiles in 1816, first to Switzerland, to Lake Geneva, where it is unseasonably cold and stormy — his departure from England is due to the collaspe of his marriage to Annabella Milbanke, unquestionably as a result of the rumours surrounding his incestuous affair with his half-sister.

Displaced nobleman Manfred wanders the Bernese Alps, in a kind of moral exile, where "the wind / Was faint and gusty, and the mountain snows / Began to glitter with the climbing moon" (III, iii, 46-48), traversing "on snows, where never human foot / Of common mortal trod" (II, iii, 4-5), surrounded by a "glassy ocean of the mountain ice" (II, iii, 7). He feels extreme, but unexplained guilt surrounding the death of his "beloved" Astarte, who is heavily implied to also be his half-sister.

In A Game of Thrones, Jon Snow chooses to join the Night's Watch, with the reminder that "once you have taken the black, there is no turning back" (AGOT, Jon VI). By taking the black, Jon arguably exiles himself from the rest of the Starks, from Winterfell, to a place that "looked like nothing more than a handful of toy blocks scattered on the snow, beneath the vast wall of ice" (AGOT, Jon III). But we aren't given any indication that he does this due to incestuous feelings regarding a "radiant" half-sister, akin to Byron/Manfred, are we? And it's not like we have several Manfreds/Manfryds AND Byrons namedropped within the text, is it? Oh wait... we do. *grabs GRRM in a chokehold*

What the hell, George?!

(Lord Byron on His Deathbed, Joseph Denis Odevaere, c. 1826)

But lets get back on track here and take a closer look at that section of Manfred I mentioned at the beginning — Act II, scene one, aka the part where all the incest and supressed trauma really JUMPS out.

So, early in Act II, in the chamois hunter's abode (a chamois is a type of goat?), according Assaad's analysis, Manfred is "hyper-aroused by a cup of wine." The wine is offered in an attempt to calm Manfred; however, to the chamois hunter's great dismay, it instead agitates him and makes him utter words which are "strange" (II, i, 35). Rather than wine, Manfred sees "blood on the brim" (II, i, 25). His sudden agitation and erratic behaviour confound the chamois hunter, who observes that Manfred is losing his mind: "thy senses wander from thee" (II, i, 27). Assaad's analysis of this scene, which she believes "is the most revelatory in the entire play" discloses "a bitter truth: Manfred's traumatic past informs his present life."

We might compare this with Jon, in particular, how his dreams reveal certain bitter truths to do with his past, now subconsciously informing his present. I've already looked a bit at his crypt dream from AGOT, Jon IV, but we see a sort of recurrence of this dream again in ASOS, Jon VIII. The imagery of being in a crypt, somewhere underground, buried, in the dark, a place of ghosts and spirits, is extremely evocative. Indeed, to go back to Byron's own description of Manfred, the setting of a crypt is extremely suggestive of certain bitter truths "left half unexplained", of secrets buried... and we know that's true because the secret of Jon's parentage is hidden down there, in the form of Lyanna Stark.

He dreamt he was back in Winterfell, limping past the stone kings on their thrones. Their grey granite eyes turned to follow him as he passed, and their grey granite fingers tightened on the hilts of the rusted swords upon their laps. You are no Stark, he could hear them mutter, in heavy granite voices. There is no place for you here. Go away. He walked deeper into the darkness. "Father?" he called. "Bran? Rickon?" No one answered. A chill wind was blowing on his neck. "Uncle?" he called. "Uncle Benjen? Father? Please, Father, help me." Up above he heard drums. They are feasting in the Great Hall, but I am not welcome there. I am no Stark, and this is not my place. His crutch slipped and he fell to his knees. The crypts were growing darker. A light has gone out somewhere. "Ygritte?" he whispered. "Forgive me. Please." But it was only a direwolf, grey and ghastly, spotted with blood, his golden eyes shining sadly through the dark... – ASOS, Jon VIII

I don't think it's outlandish to state that, unquestionably, Jon's bastard identity is a source of ongoing pain for him. I talked about the theme of despair in Jon's characterisation and it is very evident in the above, and it stems from this "bitter truth" of not being a trueborn Stark, of not being "welcome", or having a true place. The emotions/mindset this trauma, concerning his birth and identity, evokes in Jon is arguably what brings him, on first glance, so closely in line with the Byronic Hero:

Their grey granite eyes turned to follow him as he passed / The crypts were growing darker = A mysterious past / secret sin(s)

You are no Stark / I am no Stark = Deeply jaded

There is no place for you here / I am not welcome there / This is not my place = standing apart from society and societal expectations / social alienation

He dreamt he was back in Winterfell / He walked deeper into the darkness = Moody / misery in his heart

He fell to his knees / Forgive me = Guilt

He walked deeper into the darkness / Please, Father, help me / He fell to his knees = Despair

These aren't all the Byronic characteristics I've addressed in relation to Jon, but it is a substantial percentage of them, all encapsulated, in one way or another, within this singular dream passage. As far as what is fairly explicit in the text, being a bastard is Jon's "bitter truth", it is the "traumatic past inform[ing] his present life." But what is Manfred's "bitter truth", what past trauma is informing his present? And can it reveal a bit more about another layer to Jon's trauma? Because there is a key distinction — Manfred's trauma, his PTSD, stems from a specific event, notably triggered by the (imagined) "blood on the brim" of his wine, whereas for Jon, we have no singular event, we have no momentus experience, we just have this "truth."

As mentioned previously, Assaad has recognised the character of Manfred as displaying symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). In Assaad's article, she remarks that "an experience is denoted as traumatic if it completely overwhelms the individual, rendering him or her helpless," and this is quite evident in the interaction between Manfred and the chamois hunter. Sharon Stanley, an educator and clinical psychotherapist, writes that "the word trauma has been used to describe a variety of aversive, overwhelming experiences with long-term, destructive effects on individuals and communities."

So, if trauma is related to an experience, or experiences, is it still accurate to say that Jon experiences trauma, connected to being a bastard? Because there is seemingly no singular or defining root experience, or event that it stems from, it just is… it is a compellation of several moments, revealed to the reader through Jon’s memories and/or dreams. What is being "left half unexplained” here?

Assaad makes reference to the American Psychiatric Association's definition of PTSD, in which it observes that for an individual to be diagnosed with PTSD, they have to suffer from one or more intrustion symptoms, one or more avoidance symptoms, two or more negative alterations, and two or more hyperarousal symptoms. The dreams Jon has certainly suggest something, but it seems like a stretch to say that, like Manfred, he is suffering from PTSD, right? We and Jon are very much aware that he is "no Stark", at least not in the sense that he is Ned's trueborn son, this isn’t something Jon is actively suppressing. By comparison, it is incontrovertible that Manfred committed something in the past, which he deeply wishes to forget and disassociate from:

Man. I say ’tis blood—my blood! the pure warm stream Which ran in the veins of my fathers, and in ours When we were in our youth, and had one heart, And loved each other as we should not love, And this was shed: but still it rises up, Colouring the clouds, that shut me out from heaven, Where thou art not—and I shall never be. C. Hun. Man of strange words, and some half—maddening sin

(II, i, 28-35)

However, we cannot be sure what this traumatic point of origin is, though we know that it is related to something he has done to his beloved Astarte, which subsequently led to her death. Many critics have suggested that his sin is that of incest, and as I noted earlier, that Manfred as a whole is more than just a bit autobiographical and/or confessional in nature. Manfred's incestuous sin therefore re-enacts Byron's incest with his half-sister Augusta. But regardless of the true cause, Manfred is traumatised by his past and cannot overcome it. Is there something in Jon’s past, that may have subconsciously, or consciously, influenced his departure to the Wall — his self exile — which he cannot overcome, and which is closely tied to the issue of and pain he feels due to being a bastard, not just the illegitimacy, but also the negative characteristics it assigns? Is there an event, or experience, we can pinpoint as the origin of Jon’s trauma and potential PTSD?

To circle back to Jonsa, there is some, not unfounded, debate amongst us concerning the validity of the pre-canon crush/kiss theory. I've always found it an interesting theory, but until now, I haven't really given it too much thought. In light of the Byron connection, however, as well as the textual analysis I have for Part 3, I think this scenario, as detailed by agentrouka-blog, seems more and more likely. And I don't say that lightly, I really don't. It is a somewhat uncomfortable speculation to make, even if the interaction was more innocent rather than explicit (this is the side I firmly fall down on), however, it’s ambiguity does potentially parallel Byron’s Manfred and Astarte. This post would be even longer if I included my side-by-side text comparisons, so you may have to trust me for the moment that there are some very striking similarities between Act II, scene I of Manfred, and Jon's milk of the poppy induced dream in ASOS, Jon VI, as well as the actual buildup to that vision.

But, that sounds frankly terrible doesn't it? And it doesn't bode well for his future relationship with Sansa, does it? And what does it mean if Jon is suffering from PTSD due to an incestuous encounter with Sansa? What does that mean for Sansa, Sansa who is doggedly abused and mistreated by men within the present narrative? This is awful, why would GRRM root their romance in something traumatic? Oh I hear you, and these are questions I needed to ask myself whilst compiling this. But you see... now bear with me here... it isn't the actual encounter itself that was traumatic, for either Jon or Sansa, and that is reflected in both their POVs, because, though they think about each other sparingly (explicitly at least), it is never done so negatively. No, the potential PTSD Jon suffers from this experience isn't connected to Sansa, to whatever occured between them. Rather, I believe, it's connected to either the fear, or the reality, that Ned, his assumed father, saw and/or caught him (either Sansa had left at this point, or didn't fully grasp the issue), and this fear, this guilt, this sense of despair, is made evident in this passage:

When the dreams took him, he found himself back home once more, splashing in the hot pools beneath a huge white weirwood that had his father’s face. Ygritte was with him, laughing at him, shedding her skins till she was naked as her name day, trying to kiss him, but he couldn’t, not with his father watching. He was the blood of Winterfell, a man of the Night’s Watch. I will not father a bastard, he told her. I will not. I will not. “You know nothing, Jon Snow,” she whispered, her skin dissolving in the hot water, the flesh beneath sloughing off her bones until only skull and skeleton remained, and the pool bubbled thick and red. – ASOS, Jon VI

That's the traumatic experience, I believe, not the kiss — yep, I strongly suspect there was a kiss. Moreover, Jon's recurring assertion, throughout the series, that he "will not father a bastard" is tied to this in some way, it’s tied to Ned, it’s tied to some sense of guilt and shame. It’s not tied to Sansa. But we'll look at this passage, what it means, what it parallels, and what directly precedes it, in comparison to Manfred, a lot more closely next time.

I'll leave you with a slight teaser though — the parallel that made me really sit up and take notice:

C. Hun. Well, sir, pardon me the question, And be of better cheer. Come, taste my wine; 'Tis of an ancient vintage; many a day 'T has thaw’d my veins among our glaciers, now Let it do thus for thine. Come, pledge me fairly. Man. Away, away! there’s blood upon the brim! Will it then never—never sink in the earth?

(II, i, 21-26)

Note this imagery!!!

Maester Aemon poured it full. "Drink this."

Jon had bitten his lip in his struggles. He could taste blood mingled with the thick, chalky potion. It was all he could do not to retch it back up. – ASOS, Jon VI

In both instances, a drink is offered, with "blood upon the brim", and "blood mingled". In Manfred's case, this is an explicit trigger for him, whereas for Jon? Well, it bit more hidden, a bit more buried, but this moment is, to my mind, the catalyst, because its imagery strongly evokes the colours of the weirwood tree — "blood" red and "chalky" white — you know, the "huge white weirwood" he later on envisions.

*spits out drink*

Maybe the magnitude of this parallel isn't completely evident as of yet, but it will be... or at least I hope it will be, so stay tuned for Part 3!

(Starting to run out of Byron pics so... I dunno, here's Rupert Everret, from The Scandalous Adventures of Lord Byron, 2009)

In Conclusion

To summarise, why is the Manfred connection so monumental to me? Why do I find the pre-canon kiss theory, specifically the scenario detailed by agentrouka-blog, now very hard to dismiss? Because:

The nine (!) Manfreds/Manfryds included within the text, as well as the two Byrons, one of which, the first mentioned in fact, first appears in Sansa's POV. But crucicially the direct link made by GRRM between Byron Swann and Manfred Swann.

The strength of the similarities that can be observed between Jon and the Byronic Hero, but also notably to Byron's Manfred, the "Byronic hero par excellence", according to Assaad. Especially the recurring emotions of guilt and despair, the latter exemplified perhaps most clearly in Jon's dreams.

The prominent theme of self-exile to escape something, something that perhaps cannot be openly stated, present in Manfred, Byron's own life, and Jon's narrative.

Those pesky half-sisters: Augusta, Astarte, and Sansa.

The PTSD symptoms clearly present in Manfred, but left "half unexplained", and seemingly not explained at all in Jon's POV — I'll dig more into this in Part 3.

The "blood upon the brim", and "blood mingled" — more on that in Part 3, I hope you guys like in depth imagery analysis!

Obviously, this is all still just speculation on my part, and it's speculation in connection to a theory that is understandably controversial. I'd be happy to dismiss it... if it weren't for the above. So, I suppose I'm in two minds about it. On the one hand, however you look at it, it's more trauma in an already traumatic series... which is *sighs* not what you want for the characters you care strongly about. But on the other hand, that literary connection to Manfred (and by extension to actual Lord Byron), the way it's lining up, plus that comparison GRRM himself made between Jon and the Byronic Hero... that's all very compelling and interesting to me as a reader, as a former English literature student. So, I don't want it to be true because... incest hell. But then, I also want it to be true because then it makes me feel smart for guessing correctly.

But anyway, we're going to be descending into incest hell in Part 3, so... we'll just have to grapple with that when we come to it. I hope, if you stuck with it till the incesty end, that you enjoyed this post!

Stay tuned ;)

Bibliography of Academic Sources:

American Psychiatric Association, Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th edn (Arlington, VA: American Psychiatric Publishing, 2013); online edition at www.dsm5.org

Assaad, Lara, "'My slumbers—if I slumber—are not sleep': The Byronic Hero’s Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder", The Byron Journal 47, no. 2 (2019): 153–163.

Byron, George Gordon Noel, Byron’s Letters and Journals. Ed. Leslie A. Marchand. 12 vols. London: Murray, 1973–82.

Holland, Tom, "Undead Byron", in Byromania: Portraits of the Artist in Nineteenth- and Twentieth- Century Culture, ed. by Frances Wilson (Basingstoke: Palgrave, 2000).

MacDonald, D. L. "Narcissism and Demonality in Byron’s 'Manfred'", Mosaic: An Interdisciplinary Critical Journal 25, no. 2 (1992): 25–38.

Stanley, Sharon, Relational and Body-Centered Practices for Healing Trauma: Lifting the Burdens of the Past (London: Routledge, 2016)

Twitchell, James B., The Living Dead: A Study of the Vampire in Romantic Literature (Durham, NC: Duke University Press, 1981).

[inky-duchess]

History Bites Special: The Six Queens

This is the first in a long line of posts where I pick the best moments of history and the antics historical figures in order to give you inspiration for your WIP. Think of History Bites like prompts, only juicer and 90% accurate (results may vary) as I regale you with interesting tidbits about

On this day, Henry VIII died. Unlike last year, I won't be remembering Henry. We will be remembering the Queens and their achievements.

Katherine of Aragon was the daughter of Isabella of Castile, a power Queen Regnant. She lived to see the fall of the Moorish Empire in Spain and the treasures of the East Indies brought back by Christopher Columbus.

Katherine was almost wrecked at sea in her first journey to England. They fleet turned back and the second journey got her safely to England. The first thing she did was attend mass. During her journey, the King, Henry VII decided to go visit her early actually bursting into her chambers to see her.

After her first husband died, Katherine was proposed as a wife to his brother Henry. Her father refused to pay out her dowry, so the wedding was put off for years and years leaving Katherine in poverty as the King of Aragon and King of England basically had a pissing contest. Katherine sold off jewels in order to eat.

When Henry VIII went off to fight in France (another male ego pissing contest that achieved nothing), Katherine handed Scotland its biggest defeat in history. She led troops at Flodden, winning a battle where the Scottish King died. When she wrote to Henry as well as sending him the Scottish king's coat and banners, she mentioned that she had wanted to send the body of the king but the nobles were being pussies and said no. It may have been the shadiest letter of all the Tudor period.

Henry was actually terrified of what Katherine could do. When yelling at one of his advisers, he admitted that Katherine had a chance of beating him in battle. Katherine never did don armour and trample Henry in battle. A shame.

Anne Boleyn was two. Anne was raised abroad in the courts of France and the Netherlands. In the Netherlands, she served the shrewd Margaret of Austria who was fond of her. When Anne returned to English court, she was considered a catch because she was so clever and worldly.

Anne did catch the eye of another man, Henry Percy the son of the Duke of Northumberland. The two were deeply in love and it was rumoured that Percy was going to put aside his father's choice and marry Anne. Cardinal Wolsey broke it up and Anne was banished.

Anne was rather a deft hand at creating catchy and shady mottos. Her first was "Ainsi sera, groigne qui groigne,” which means “Grumble all you like, this is how it’s going to be".

Anne was quite sharp at times. She had her aunt, sister and the King's best friend banished from court. She wore yellow after hearing that Katherine of Aragon was dead, in a mockery of the Spanish mourning tradition. She ordered that the Princess Mary be stripped of her title and serve her own daughter as a maid.

Anne as quite determined. She held Henry off for seven years before agreeing to sleep with him, she stood up to him and the powerful men of the kingdom whenever they went against her and she saw the foundations of the Church of England being laid down due to her influence.

Anne also had a dog named Purkoy, who she adored. When the dog died, Henry had to tell her himself and she was distraught.

Jane Seymour was next. Jane is really debased as being pliant and rather dull when compared to Anne but Jane could be just just as bitchy. On the day Anne walked the scaffold to her death, Jane picked out her wedding clothes.

Jane reconciled Princess Mary and Henry. She acted as a catalyst in bringing them together. Henry yelled at her but in the end she had her way.

Jane begged for mercy for the rebels in the Pilgrimage of Grace. It was rather a ballsy move but she stuck to her guns until Henry reminded her of Anne's execution.

Anne of Cleves was four. Anne grew up in the Duchy of Cleves, her brother being the Duke and a member of the Protestant League. Anne was Henry's last choice of bride as he wanted a French Princess but they told him fuck off so his advisor Cromwell sent Hans Holbein, the court painter to paint the infamous portrait. Henry saw the picture and decided to marry her.

Like his father, Henry couldn't wait to see the bride. Dressing in disguise, Henry went to see Anne. He pressed a kiss on her and she recoiled. She hadn't a clue who he was. Henry left rather wounded, yelling that she looked like a horse and smelled bad.

Anne was oblivious that Henry was working against their marriage from day one. When speaking to her ladies, it became clear that nothing went down in the bedchamber. When she was sent away for her health, she was utterly flummoxed by a letter stating that their marriage was at an end. Anne wept but then picked herself up and took Henry to the cleaners. She got estate after estate from him and became the richest woman in England.

She survived all the Queens and Henry, living to see Mary I's ascension even riding in the coronation procession. She was particularly fond of Princess Elizabeth, even teaching her how to make pancakes so Elizabeth could care for herself.

Catherine Howard was five. She was just a child when Henry decided to chase her. He was not the first old sack of shit to molest (yes, it was. He and M*nnox were fucking wrong. Don't gimme that shit about the times.) Catherine was maid in waiting to Anne of Cleves when she was noticed by Henry. See a pattern here? And Catherine was Anne Boleyn's cousin to boot.

Catherine is usually portrayed as a flighty woman but in reality, Catherine could be quite kind. When hearing that old Countess Pole was in a draughty cell in the Tower, Catherine paid for clothes to be made for her to keep her warm.

When Catherine was in the Tower, she asked for the block to be brought to her so she could practice her execution. Before the axe fell, Catherine was rumoured to cry out, "I die a queen but I would rather die the wife if Culpepper," who was her alleged lover. It is probably myth but one can't help but wish she said it as a last fuck you to Henry.

Kathryn Parr was the last and certainly not least. She had been wed twice before Henry, her last husband dying only a few months before Henry began making eyes at her. Kathryn wanted to marry Thomas Seymour but out of duty married the King.

Kathryn ruled as Regent when Henry went off to France for ego reasons. She brought all the royal children together, mothering Elizabeth and Edward and acting as ally to Mary. She managed to convince Henry to reinstate the Princesses to the succession making them princesses again.

Kathryn was a reformer and scholar. She penned the first novel published by a woman in England. She studied theology, listening to sermons by the controversial preacher Anne Askew. Henry didn't like Kathryn questioning his opinions and drew up a warrant for her arrest. The warrant somehow found its way to Kathryn and she immediately went to Henry and began to repent all her "offenses" (her having an opinion). Henry forgave her. Kathryn was the only queen to survive Henry's displeasure and cling on to her position.

[exciting]

As requested, books / series I read in 2020 in the order I read them, with a few brief thoughts. (This took me a hot second because there are a few and also I moved cities) Should I keep a consistent goodreads? Yes I should but I didn’t think of that at the time, so bone apple teeth & sorry if I offend you abt your faves x

P.S. I can’t figure out how to do a read more on mobile so long post ahead!

A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J Maas - This is one of the most vivid published fantasy books I have ever read... I read it twice in rapid succession. The fandom POPS off. I must say I have issues with certain aspects e.g. fae lore completely ignored à la Twilight, all love interests 500+ years old and technically a different species, etc (I’m not going to deconstruct the entire series here but just know that I could... Nesta deserves better)

Cruel Prince by Holly Black - This fucking slaps, HB clearly has done her research, the lore is near immaculate, and it explores the Fae in such a unique way, tying it to the modern world subtly and seamlessly. My only qualm was that the books felt quite short; truly wish there had been more content.

Throne of Glass by Sarah J Maas (6/7) - So basically I read this in one single, hyperfixated fit which meant I literally locked myself in my room for three days straight and read all six books back to back in a row from morning to the wee hours. Which is not to say it was spectacular; although it was a VERY rich world, sometimes it was too much... this felt like 6 stories in one. Ik she was young when she wrote this but it is my humble opinion that SJM needs a better editor & I personally think Rowan is a grade A asshole / straight up abusive (& personally think the ACOTAR Tamlin plot was born from that?). It’s good but not as good as ACOTAR. Skip-read the last book. 

Grishaverse (Shadow and Bone) by Leigh Bardugo (3) - This is essential to read before SOC but was very much simply a YA fantasy book, although the world was cool and the way the love plot played out was, imo, a subtle middle finger to the fantasy trope. Felt very much aimed at younger readers though? Really liked the sandwhich structure of the Proluge and Epilogue, especially in #2

Six of Crows series by Leigh Bardugo (2) - INCREDIBLE continuation of Grishaverse, better than the original series by a mile. It has the range, the diversity, the representation (the male lead is a disabled asexual and still the most cunning of the entire cast of characters), the plot is phenomenal, and it manages such a well rounded plot in only two books which means nothing is stretched out or squeezed in more than need be. Deserves all the praise it gets.

King of Scars series by Leigh Bardugo (0.5/1) - Personally I don’t consider this book canon, and while it’s nice to see the rest of Nina’s journey & the world again & everyone else, I don't like it. I will, however, be reading book 2 when it comes out, so shame on me, I suppose.

Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo (1/1) - this was incredibly cool although it went off in a completely different direction than I thought it would based off the first few chapters? One of my favourite YA-author-debuts-New-Adult novels in 2020 though!

Crescent City by Sarah J Maas (1/1) - This was supposed to be SJM/s New Adult debut, although personally I would put her other series in New Adult, and I can’t say a remarkable amount was different with this except they said “fuck” and “ass” a lot. WHY is the romantic interest 500 years old AGAIN. I just... don’t... I just don’t think it was necessary... the world was cool though, and the last half of the book was riveting, but the beginning was quite slow and I thought the sword thing was predictable. I am interested to see where this goes though.

A Darker Shade of Magic by V.E. Schwab (3) - This world is so fucking cool... four Londons aka parallel universes & the one in ‘our’ world is set in industrial era London. Magic, girls dressing up as boys, thieves, pirates, royalty... it all just slaps. Schwab is an incredible writer & I was completely immersed.

Midnight Sun by SMeyer - I didn’t think anything could possibly detract even further from the Twilight story but I was sorely mistaken... seeing the stalking from Edward’s POV - and it was worse than depicted in Twilight, for the record - completely obliterated any sort of romance the first half of the original book may have portrayed. I still hold the opinion that the entire series would have been better if some kind of vampire lore had been abided by, if only to see all of the villains thwarted by someone dropping a bag of rice on the ground, forcing them to have to count them all.

An ember in the Ash by Sabaa Tahir  (3/4) - This was just a very stereotypical ya fantasy series, emphasis on the YOUNG... it wasn’t anything to write home about but I remember quite enjoying it at the time. 

The Power by Naomi Alderman - This book is FUCKING incredible and EXCEPTIONALLY thought provoking... essentially women alone develop a power of electric shock etc. and then take over the world from men, and it explores feminism and the balance between equality & tipping the scales in the other direction. Written by a friend of M.Atwood in a similar tone to handmaids tale, I would say? Content warning; there are some exceptionally graphic scenes in the latter half of the novel. 

Hamlet by Wllm Shksp - I can’t believe it took me this long to finally read it but Ophelia is my favourite name in the entire world & we love to see a woman go batshit (although she didn’t deserve that). 

Catherine House by Elisabeth Thomas - this was unsettling in the best sense of the word... it was a little slow & honestly more of a concept than a big reveal, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it after I finished it? A Secret History vibes but make it blurry like the memory of all those dystopian novels you read when you were young?

The Invisible Life of Addie La Rue by V.E. Schwab - This is without a doubt my book of the year, and probably the best book I read in 2020? I stayed up all night on a friend’s couch reading it, got a book hangover and reread the ending, and then thrust it upon my mother who doesn’t usually read but read this, and loved it just as much. HIGHLY recommend and you HAVE to read it, it’s beautiful and endearing and just plain wonderful.

Captive Prince by C.S. Pacat (3/3) - I went into this knowing it was going to be terrible, because I had received a blow by blow telling me as much; although I must say that it did learn a remarkable amount of new words, the books did get better as the series went on, and it did have a rather charming ending? BIG content warning for almost everything.

Sapiens by Yuval Harari - mind-expanding & must recommend for everyone, there is everything in this and I daresay everyone should posses this kind of knowledge? I listened to it as an audiobook (which I recommend because it’s rather hearty) but will be buying this in hardcopy & rereading it with annotations. 

Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller - Without a doubt, one of the most beautiful novels I have ever read, and certainly the most beautiful portrayal of the story of Achilles and the battle of Troy I have ever seen. Patroclus deserved the justice that was given to him in this book; indeed, all of the characters were written with justice and grace. Highly recommend.

Trials of Apollo by Rick Riordan (3/5) - Apollo is my favourite Greek God, and the sexiest greek god, and Rick Riordan’s writing slaps, as always. It did pain me to see Apollo, the sexy immortal, have to be forced back into a 16 year old’s body but everything else? Whimsical & wonderful, as expected. 

These Violent Delights by Chloe Gong - a retelling of Romeo and Juliette, except it’s set in Shanghai in the 1920′s, and the protagonists already have a history. Very well done, characters are incredibly diverse in race, sexual orientation, gender, and ability / disability (and honestly, representation has never appeared so effortless and elegant). Also it includes a monster and possible magic. Incredibly underrated and highly recommend.

The Once and Future Witches by Alix. E Harrow - this was such a unique concept, and truly captivating, the story was charming, and felt like the kind of beautiful fairytale you would read as children but with more grit? ABSOLUTELY recommend this one

The Pisces by Melissa Broder - I hated this so much, not my vibe at all. Mermaid smut x therapy but make it cynical and judgemental (I know there was a moral in there but that’s not my point) also the dog dies.

Library of the Unwritten by A.J. Hackwith (1/2) - really interesting & unique concept (all unwritten novels / ideas reside in a special library that is part of Hell and then sometimes the books can come to life) however, my first thought upon reading this was “this reads as if it’s stemmed from one of those writing prompt tumblr posts” bc of the tone and whatever and as it turns out I was somewhat correct, it did stem from a short story (not bad just obvious). It did kind of settle down as it went on but I found reading it kind of a drag, and I don’t think I will read the second one.

Abandon by Meg Cabot - 1. Meg Cabot’s writing always fucking slaps 2. Hades and Persephone but make it modern & very 2000′s & somehow kind of unique 3. I literally loved this, sue me

Medusa Girls (Sweet Venom) by Tera Childs - Like Percy Jackson except they are descendants of Medusa so they are Gorgons and have fangs & venom (hence the title). Gave me very 2000′s vibes? Quite cool but tbh I found the books quite short (like two hours each, if that)? Do NOT read the GoodReads description of the book before you read it, you will spoil it for yourself.

Bring me their Hearts by Sara Wolf - In my opinion, this is one of the most underrated YA series I read in 2020. The heroine is endearing, self aware, witty, and loves to look pretty even while kicking ass which in my opinion is an incredibly underrated trait. Also, immortality without being hundreds of years old? VERY sexy. HIGHLY recommend. 

A Deal with the Elf King by Elise Kova - High commendation to be given for the fact that it is a standalone and yet manages to fit in the plot of what would usually be a full fantasy trilogy without cutting corners or being a million miles long? Also sweet storyline & beautiful ending? If you liked ACOTAR you should read this as a “what would have / could have been had SJM had a different editor” (No shade I promise).

The Iron Fae by Julie Kagawa (4/4 + novellas) - Incredibly detailed faerie set around the modern world & our current use of technology & iron in it. Very neat adventure-style series, by the time I read the last novella I was well and truly done with the world (aka provided enough content to be fulfilling). Was definitely aimed at a younger audience though, NO smut / smut was brushed over.

The Modern Faerie Tales by Holly Black (3/3 SS) - This is technically the prequel to Cruel prince, set in the modern world, but with the fae world inside it as it traditional? All I have to say is that it is excellent & I highly recommend it.

Bridgerton series (The Duke and I) by Julia Quinn (9/9) - I read this after watching the Netflix show twice through and I am obsessed, although the books were not quite as elegant as the show, and some parts that made me cringe either by their portrayal (it is very firmly set in the 19th century and thus some things are not handled with tact or grace), the characters were exceptionally loveable and I am so excited to see where the show takes them! Lovely language & an abundance of words I had never seen before (always a plus). 

[edie-k]

Cost Nothing (R/Hr, PG-13)

Title: Cost Nothing

Rating: PG-13 (mild sexual humor)

Pairing: Romione

Summary: "Compliments cost nothing, yet many pay dear for them." Thomas Fuller

When Harry and Ginny point out a shortcoming of Hermione's, she turns to Ron to set the record straight.

Notes: Thanks to accio-broom for the beta work and lovely feedback.

Happy birthday to Ron! To celebrate properly, I called upon the OG of the Ron Weasley Defense Squad, one Harry James Potter.

Link to AO3 or click below

“Hey,” said Ginny, flopping down on the blanket next to Hermione. 

“Oh, are you finished playing?” 

“Just a break. Get this - Percy sent an owl and said he, Charlie and George are coming back at 4 to play.”

“Wow, he’s really trying to make this up to you all,” said Hermione, impressed. She glanced up to see Ron and Harry walk towards her, brooms in hand. She used her bookmark to hold her place.  

Harry dropped his broom to the ground and laid down between the two of them. “Hermione, your cooling charms are just as great as your warming ones.” 

Ron stood in front of them. Hermione shielded her eyes from the sun as she looked up at him warmly. He smiled back and stuck his arm into the air above her blanket. “Bloody hell, that feels good.” 

“Come lay down,” said Hermione, patting the blanket next to her. 

“I won’t get up if I do. And I was thinking I should run up to the house and grab some drinks and snacks to bring back here?” 

“Ah, great idea, mate,” said Harry. 

“Cute and brilliant, what more could I ask for?” said Hermione with a smile

Ron flushed and gave her a grin. “I’ll be right back.” He walked up to the house. 

Hermione pulled out her wand to expand the blanket and cooling charm to give them a bit more space. As she was putting her wand to the side, she caught Harry looking at her with a bemused expression. “What?” 

“I am just not used to that yet,” said Harry. “Especially from you.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”  

“I’ve never heard you compliment him before. Certainly not on his looks,” said Harry. 

“Harry Potter! You know that I think Ron’s wonderful and always have.”

 “I’ve thought Ron was great for almost a decade now. I assumed that you did too. I’ve just never heard you say it.” 

“You’re joking!”

“To be fair to you, you were quite complimentary of his basilisk fangs idea during the battle, but I otherwise stand by my statement.” 

 “Ginny!” Hermione appealed to her friend that had been observing silently. “You’ve heard me compliment Ron before, right?” 

“To his face? Never. To others? Also never.” 

“Well, the two of you aren’t around us all the time,” said Hermione. 

“It’s true. There were dozens of minutes over the last year that I was away from you two,” said Harry.

Ginny laughed. “It’s fine, Hermione. You just don’t hand out compliments easily.”

“That’s not true,” said Harry, shaking his head. “You’ve said loads of nice things about me.”

“Did she?” asked Ginny, quirking an eyebrow. 

Hermione rolled her eyes. “Harry, I’d recommend not triggering that Weasley jealousy. You’re my best friend, and who else was going to bolster and build you up? It certainly wasn’t based on any personal interest I had. I was just passing along the gossip and giggling I’d hear in the loo.”

“And Ron Weasley, bastion of self-assuredness, was in no need of compliments,” said Ginny drily. “Especially when you’re showering Harry in them.”  

Hermione’s face darkened. “That’s quite rich coming from someone who compared Ron to his best friends just to embarrass him. I fancied him, and you expected me to tell him that Bridget Nichols wanted to quote, ‘climb him like a tree’? Besides, I seem to recall that he wasn’t lacking female attention at the time,” she sniffed. 

Harry sat up, looking nervous. “Uh, look, there’s no need for you and Ron to rehash sixth year.”

“Ron and I have already come to an appropriate understanding on that. What there’s really no need for is the two of you butting into our relationship.”

“You’re right,” said Harry. “We should-”

“It all checks out,” said Ginny, voice dripping with sarcasm. “You complimented Ron constantly, which gave him the confidence to never make a move.” 

“Oh, and what about him? It’s not like he was showering me in praise!”

“Well, he did -” Harry stopped his sentence short. “No. I’m sorry I brought any of this up; it was a careless joke.”

“Finish what you were going to say,” Ginny and Hermione demanded in unison. Hermione looked at Ginny, surprised by the synchronicity before glaring and looking back at Harry, who she could tell desperately regretted the whole conversation. 

Harry looked between the two and sighed. “All I was going to say was that Ron has told you how brilliant you are loads of times over the years.”

“Well, so has Professor Flitwick, but I didn’t think that meant he was trying to get in my knickers.”

“It’s Ron, though. He hardly ever misses an opportunity to put his foot in his mouth, yet I can still think of dozens of times he fawned all over you.” 

“Those aren’t exactly signals a boy gives you to say he’s attracted to you,” said Hermione. 

“No, I suppose not,” said Harry, laying back down. He looked as if he wanted to say more but was holding his tongue. 

“I think that what Harry said originally is true. Neither of you ever explicitly told us you liked the other, but we always knew Ron thought you were amazing. We had to assume that you thought Ron was too,” said Ginny, the edge now gone from her tone.

Hermione opened her mouth and then closed it. She knew they were wrong, but she just didn’t have the proof yet. 

They lay contemplating for a few minutes before Harry broke the tense silence. “Ugh, I’m still trying to decide what’s more disturbing - Flitwick trying to get in your knickers or Ron.”

“Ron doesn’t have to try,” Hermione cheeked. Ginny laughed, and Harry’s face contorted. 

“What don’t I have to try?” asked Ron. He had returned with a basket filled with cold butterbeers, crisps, biscuits, and a couple of apples, which he set next to Hermione as he eased himself down.  While the others stretched around to grab snacks, Hermione cringed as she noticed he looked uncomfortable to have discovered them discussing him. She decided to be straightforward. 

“To get into my knickers,” Hermione responded with a grin. His ears burned, but she saw a light in his eyes when he noticed Harry’s continued cringe. 

“Oh,” he said as he sat down next to her. “Are you actually wearing knickers today? That’s disappointing.”

Harry broke a biscuit and threw half at each of them. 

**********************************

“Hey Hermione?”

“Yes?” It was well after dinner now, and the two of them were taking a walk as dusk began to settle in. The decision to take a walk was met with teasing from all of his brothers that left Hermione rolling her eyes. It was truly only a walk. After years of seeing only the downsides to his status as the youngest brother, he was finally reaping a benefit - his parents were turning a blind eye to the fact they were sharing a bed in a silenced and locked room so an uncomfortable roll in the orchard was unnecessary. 

“Yes?”

“Why were you talking about me getting in your knickers with Harry and Ginny?”

Hermione bit her lip while Ron continued on. 

“Don’t get me wrong. I would be comfortable taking out an ad in The Daily Prophet bragging about shagging you, and I’m sure they knew well before today. But as fun as it was to make him squirm, I thought we’d been trying to not make Harry uncomfortable.”

“He sort of brought it up.”

“Oh?”

“Yes. After you walked away, he mentioned it was odd to hear me call you cute.”

“And brilliant,” he said with a rakish grin. 

“Of course.”

“But how did that lead to your knickers?”

“Oh, it was infuriating. The reason he thought it strange was that he couldn’t remember me ever giving you any compliments.”

“Oh.”

“And I was telling him how silly that was.”

“Right.”

“Obviously, now that we’re together... I’ve been attracted to you for as long as I can remember, but it’s certainly easier to tell you now, don’t you think?”

“Uh, sure. I mean, previously I worried that telling you how gorgeous and sexy you are would get me slapped, and now I’m just curious which one of us ends up on our back.”

 “Stop,” she giggled. “But before we were together, I always told you how highly I thought of you.”

“Well, I don’t think you hand out unearned praise.”

 “Of course. But I’ve complimented you loads over the years. Right?”

Silence hung between them. 

“I love you?” Ron finally responded. 

“You agree with them?”

“I really love you?” said Ron. 

“You truly don’t think I ever complimented you?”

“You… tried once. When I got the prefect badge in 5th year,” he said. 

“The only reason I didn’t have anything was that I couldn’t think of a way to say it without hurting Harry’s feelings!”

“Really, love, don’t worry about it. You said things about my Quidditch performances as well. At least the good ones.”

“No! We.. we cleared the air on all this. Viktor, Lavender, the locket. Why didn’t you say anything then?”

“What would I say? You should have complimented me more? How self-involved would that sound? And now that we’re together, you do compliment me all the time. If I’d said something, maybe I’d question if you were being genuine or not now.”

Hermione was quiet. “I never realized that I wasn’t. It all ran through my head so much, but I guess I never… things would have been so different if I had.”

“We don’t know that.”

“Really?” she said with disbelief. 

“Yes, really. I won’t lie - compliments couldn’t possibly have hurt. But you basically asked me on a date, and my mind still couldn’t process that you wanted to be with me. And at that point in my life, the praise to Harry would have still bothered me, so the locket would have glommed onto that.”

“I would never have said-“

“Hermione! Listen to yourself! You didn’t do anything wrong telling Harry those things. His life was shit, and he’s your best friend. It’s not your fault I was an immature prat.”

“I was really just passing along what the girls were saying about him in the loo.”

Ron looked amused. “Is that how girls talk in the loo about boys?”

Hermione laughed. “I’m not even sure what I told you.”

“At the risk of reinforcing what an insecure git I am, you mentioned how tall and fanciable he was and went into all of the Chosen One and Ministry persecution stuff,” Ron said. “I’m just saying that is not how we talked about girls in our dorm.” 

“Ah, yes, I did clean it up a bit, but they did at least talk about Harry with a bit of reverence and respect as opposed to treating him like a  piece of meat as they did with you. But I’m interested in how the boys discuss girls.”

Ron winced. “Sorry, I never even thought about what she might say that you’d have to hear.” 

“No, that was a whole different set of issues. These were other girls.” 

Ron stopped. “Other girls? What did - nevermind, it uh, doesn’t matter.” 

Hermione was surprised to find that his aborted question hadn’t even bothered her. “I won’t tell you everything, but I did already tell Harry… Bridget Nichols said she wanted to climb you like a tree and -” 

“What?!” 

“Yes,” she laughed. “And you remember Tori Daylon?” 

“She was that short little thing, right?” 

“She thought she was the perfect height to make you very happy.” 

“Merlin, you girls are just as bawdy as us,” Ron laughed. 

“We have hormones too.” 

“You never said anything about me, did you?” he asked. Hermione shook her head. “But what type of review am I going to get in the bathroom this year from you?” 

“You’re incorrigible,” she laughed.

“Is that a compliment?” 

“Absolutely.” 

[mean-scarlet-deceiver]

Did anyone ask for Thomas himself for the shipping thing, if not can I ask for him💙

They did not!

Because they were merciful. /j

Aight, here is the Boi of a 1,000 Ships:

💞✨  OTP ✨ 💞:

I waver between:

“Thomas really is superb Ace/Aro-(Does-NOT-Mean-Live-Devoid-Of-Love) representation *heartmelt*”

and

“Thomas/Bertie is a CLASSIC and the Height of Ship and Why Did We All Sleep On This For So Long 💙❤️️💙❤️️💙❤️️💙❤️️”

Other Ships That Are 👌:

Green Arrow��I really love this ship, thanks to @shinygoku’s interpretation with Warren!GreenArrow 💚💙

Jinty—Proposed: Thomas Was Showing Off Due to A Crush And That Led To His Scrape. Annie and Clarabel were appalled because they were Not Ready for their son to have these feelings. The other engines spent the boring parts of the London exhibition teasing the hell out of Thomas for his obviously romance-coded ordeal. (Special shout-out here to Ashima? Who, I think, was way too just Unconvincing a character in many ways for me to really ‘ship’ them. And yet, I thought the writers handled a real, canonical Thomas romance pretty well! They can be hot-blooded and competitive as well as wholesome, Ashima is long-distance and just-out-of-reach, and, most of all, I absolutely believe that the way Thomas would react to a crush is to behave like a total jerk-faced dumbass! So yeah, I think Jinty in RWS and Ashima in TVS are just bizarre astral twins, lol.)

Interesting But Fence 👀:

Oliver! (I don’t know why it should work, but damn they look good together—) Arthur—another pretty classic opposite-attracts dynamic but hey. i also like how they would invert the usual “red oni blue oni” thematic coloring.

Emily—It sounds so stupid (pair the opposite-gender leads!!!!) but they do have some HiT episodes that are just👌 as far as a strong and charged dynamic. An endlessly intriguing if somewhat problematic ship.

Duck—They just have such a cool yin/yang thing going on that you would think it’s possible (tho I admit the chemistry doesn’t exactly jump off the page)

Gordon—With the actual build-date-accurate dynamics, a reinterpretation of their history would be interesting. convincing? who knows, until someone tries it. but interesting, definitely.

James—I’ve said it several times now, but in RWS timeline I absolutely believe Thomas and James had an ill-fated Thing in the early days. And, tbh, I could be open to them re-uniting again after decades of personal growth (and loneliness? since i can see so many of the others pairing off and settling down for good)

Trevor?—Thomas’s unexpected Depth early in the TVS timeline at the end of their episode certainly… gives one something to work with, ya know? I also like the little fission at their first meeting (‘a wut’) but how quickly they get on. Bonus: Trevor already met and got the blessing of all the parents that very day. So, you know, just create some sequel dates between them from there.

Better As Friends 😊: I guess Annie & Clarabel?

HOWEVER…

okay, real talk—and ya gotta scrub the “aunties” voice actors out of your brain completely here—but I feel like the notion of Thomas/Annie/Clarabel just has yet to be fully explored

*ducking, running*

i’m not saying i ship it, i just feel like someone should sketch out what their dynamic and how canon would be if it was Like That okay???

(i wish i could remember which Youtube vid it was where they had Thomas teasing someone and Annie and Clarabel laughing and egging him on but it was honestly quite cute!)

Meh 😑 / Overrated : Percy. The more I think about it, the more I’m not actually opposed to it? (Now that flirt!Percy lives in my head rent-free.) But more if one plays fast and loose with canon. Their “big brother/little brother” dynamic, especially by the time we get to CGI, I find gets into NOTP territory real quick.

It Happened Once In A Dream 🌑 (or AU 🤔): I honestly find the notion of Donald and Douglas flirtatiously toying with Thomas so funny—

Especially if they’re pulling his pigtails coz they really do think he’s cute…

(And in return, well, who doesn't think Donal and Douggie are heartthrobs? No one is immune to the lads’ charms, seriously!)

If I Had to Put Them in a Polycule 💗: Okay, I’m gonna do the super basic thing where I smash some of my favorite ships together to form a triangle again—but one thing I love about Thomas/Bertie and Thomas/Green Arrow is that I think they could co-exist!!!!!

Thomas and Warren have a long-distance periodic-sweethearts understanding?

And by that point I imagine Bertie and Thomas might have the same understanding—Bertie is probably in some form of preservation or semi-retirement then (if not he’s probably been bought outright by the N.W.R. as a railway bus)—anyway I can imagine he sometimes/usually works different parts of the island as the 20th century goes on—and I think Bertie’s so hot-blooded, a true Wanderer…

So yeah.

Bonus, Bertie would totally deal with meeting Thomas’s summer boyfriend by challenging Warren to a race, and Warren would be allllll about it—

I dunno, I just see tons of hot-blooded competitive adventuresome love going down here 💙💚❤️️ Fun vibes!

NOTP 😤: I get why y’all seem to by reflex say Edward, obviously, and I’m with you.

It’s just funny coz for me my reflex answer (out of a cool dozen engines that could also be in this category!) is Henry.

(I guess just coz they do have this tension sometimes?? A little bit of misfiring crackle? Which makes me all the more quick to say “oh God NOOOOO—”)

[mtgc858]

Some more headcanons in my au

1.Henry has a younger sister named Hella(I was originally going to make Henry a girl in my au but I changed it to this instead), People sometimes think that Hella is Henry and Henry is Hella cause they look similar despite not being twins.

Side note is that Henry was indeed trapped in that tunnel in thatone episode and Hella tried to get him out but couldn't,Hella has a slight grudge on Sir Topham Hart but never spoke up about it cause she was afraid that is would cause problems.

2.Edward and BoCo have been friends since the were.children and have a sibling like relationship with each other,Edward found BoCo injured years ago and took care of him till he healed,They than because best friends and basically treated echother like siblings.

BoCo feels that he has to repay Edward somehow cause of him basically saving him from his wounds depute Edward saying that he doesn't have to,They both feel uncomfortable when someone says that they look cute together cause they see echother as siblings and not romantically.

3.Percy is actually female in my au and is a tomboy,She kinda just accepted the fact that she looks like a boy than a girl and got tired of correcting other's about her gender,Edward,Thomas and Duck call her she/her cause they respect her meanwhile James likes picking on her and purposely calls her a dude just to make her triggered while Gordan is just a butt and doesn't care about her and Henry let's it slip out by accidentally.

4.Percy sees Duck as both a brother and a father figure ever since they met and she looks up to him and wanted to be like him as well as Edward,Duck always liked Percy's company and would enjoy trips around sodor with her while singing some songs he learned in his home town.

Duck is certainly teaching Percy how to play his guitar that he has from his hometown and they would have a bonding experience when not working,They are such cute sweet friends and so adorable together.

5.Duck ironically loves water but in the episode"Duck in water" he didn't want to get fully wet cause he didn't want his work clothes getting soaked and he really didn't have anywhere to go since he was in the middle of the railway far from the station.

Duck did think it was super ironic when actual ducks were in the water when he was sitting on his engine's buffer and had that "Really" kinda of mood at the time,He also got triggered when James joked about it with the whole "I though ducks liked the water" which Duck was a little bit salty.

6.(If you saw my ask of Diesel takeing of his shirt,You might of noticed that he has a stitch wound on his side) Before Diesel came to Sodor and met the engines he got attacked by a unknown group that hurt him and left a nasty gash in his side, Thankfully he got help from the hospital and was let go shortly after.

Diesel is a little sensitive with his scar but he uses it as a excuse to why he acts all touch so it doesn't happen again,He is a soft guy by heart and doesn't want to actually hurt someone like that group and is willing to protect anyone that is being in that situation.

And that's all for now, I'll come up with some more soon 😉

[quentinblack]

Smoke and Mirrors 

Chapter 4:  Ron I - Strength and Weakness

Featuring: Ron, Bill and Charlie Weasley

Warnings: N/A

Word Count: 1.3K words

The distant sound of the rooster’s morning cry stirred Ron from his slumber – and then, upon opening his eyes, he was briefly blinded by the piercing light coming from the spring sunrise. He tried his best to fall back to sleep, but the cockerel in the garden’s persistent crowing ruled this out as a feasible option.

It was Harry’s fault.

He’d been the one who had insisted on keeping the window open. It was stuffy of course – and it was a warm enough night that it made sense to keep it open, but Ron never liked keeping windows open. It meant spiders and other creepy crawlies could sneak in sometimes and give him a fright when he woke.

Dean Thomas once told him that muggles reckon you can swallow up to 8 spiders a year whilst you sleep – the thought both simultaneously disgusted and horrified him.

He peered over enviously at his best friend who lay comatose, completely unstirred by the commotion in The Burrow’s back-garden.

Ron on the other hand hadn’t slept well at all, especially for somebody who had barely got a wink of sleep in several days.

The limited sleep that he did get had been plagued by nightmares and horrific flash-blacks of Fred’s cold, dead body. In the dreams where he wasn’t seeing his older brother’s corpse – he would instead see dead versions of Hermione, Harry or the rest of his family.

It was bad enough being awake, but now he couldn’t even find any solace or sleep in the bed he had longed to be back in for months.   

There wasn’t even really anyone Ron could talk to about it.

Hermione was sympathetic of course, but he was scared of showing his fragility to her. He already had so many flaws and struggled to understand why she wanted to be with him when she was so perfect in comparison – the last thing he wanted was her thinking he was weak.

He couldn’t bring himself to talk to either of his parents – they were both already distraught enough at losing a son, without having to worry about him too.

George tried to put a brave face on it, but Ron could tell he was devastated by the loss of his twin. His entire personality had changed now, whilst he was still cracking jokes on a regular basis – they were much darker than they’d ever been before.

Percy was out of the question as he’d taken Fred’s death worse than anybody, even George. He not only held himself personally responsible for his brother’s death - since he’d been the one with him at the time, but he was also outraged at how unfair it all was. He’d kept repeating over and over again that it if there was any justice in the world then it would have been him who had died instead, since he was the one who had disowned his family.

Ron was far too proud to talk about his demons to his little sister – if anything, he was ashamed by how strong she was, especially compared to him. Ginny seemed as adept at coping with it as Bill or Charlie were.

Bill himself was out of the question as he was back at Shell Cottage with Fleur, but Charlie was staying in Bill’s old room. Charlie had always been a hero of Ron’s and he knew he could go to him with anything, but he was too embarrassed at the thought of breaking down in-front of him.

Charlie had always been so effortlessly cool, strong and talented and he didn’t want him to take pity on him, or think he was weak. 

That just left his best friend. Most people would consider it the most natural thing in the world to talk their problems over with their best friend, but well, most people’s best friend isn’t Harry Potter. To complain about grief to Harry would be like moaning to a werewolf about the struggles of finding a well-paid job.

Ron thought he heard some distant muttering coming from the window, but then he heard nothing at all, so guessed he must’ve just imagined it.  

“GEROFF ME!! GEROFF!!”

The sudden shout from the garden took Ron by surprise. It seemed he hadn’t imagined it after all.

He pulled himself up from his bed quickly to look out of the window. It soon became apparent that the shout had most likely come from a gnome that Bill had hurled away from the house. The eldest Weasley sibling now leaned against the side of the house and looked around for something in his jacket pocket, whilst in the distance a gnome scurried away to safety.

“Decent job though if you do decide to take it.”

The sound of Charlie’s voice caught Ron off guard slightly as he’d assumed Bill had been alone.

He guessed that Charlie hadn’t been able to sleep and had been pottering around in the garden or kitchen when Bill had arrived.

“Yeah well Fleur certainly wants me to… said I should’ve accepted it on the spot.”

Bill took out from his pocket what looked like a packet of muggle cigarettes. He pulled one out and offered it to Charlie, who gladly accepted. Bill reached for another cigarette and put it in his mouth, then he used his wand to light first his brother’s, then his own.

They both took a fairly sizeable drag and then exhaled.

“I thought she made you quit these?” Charlie probed.

“She did,” Bill replied bluntly.  

“We both took them back up after the wedding, helps with the stress. They’re not great for your health... but you stop worrying about that so much when you’re not even sure if you’ll make it to the end of the week.”

Bill took another long toke, but Charlie simply sighed and run his spare hand through his hair uncomfortably.

“I should have been here, man. I was selfish, Bill. Really selfish. I can see that now. I was up all night thinking about it and-

“Do yourself a favour and don’t blame yourself, Charlie. You worked long and hard to get the job of your dreams – you would’ve been foolish to throw it away. There’s nothing you could’ve done and-

“But look at everything that you have done, Bill! You were there the night Dumbledore died. You were there the night they flew Harry to safety. You took Ron, Harry, Hermione and countless others in at great personal risk at the height of the war. You were there from the start at the battle. If I’d just been there-

“There’s nothing you could’ve done, Charlie! Don’t you think we’re all thinking the same thing? Don’t beat yourself up about it.”

“But he’s dead, Bill! Our little brother, dead.”

What Ron saw next was one of the most peculiar things he’d ever seen in his life. Charlie threw his half-smoked cigarette to the ground, then pulled his hands into his face and… and he started to cry.

 It was an almost surreal experience to witness someone who had always displayed unwavering strength reduced to such a state, but Ron took significant solace from it. If it was okay for Charlie to cry, then maybe, just maybe, it was okay for him to not be okay too.

Bill had now also discarded his cigarette and he pulled his younger, yet much bulkier brother in for a hug. He patted Charlie’s back and whispered words of encouragement that Ron couldn’t hear over Charlie’s sobs.

“Little Freddie, Bill! Little Fred!” Charlie whimpered and wailed into Bill’s shoulder.

Ron couldn’t watch any longer – it was making him want to cry himself, besides that, he felt like it probably wasn’t a moment that he should be witnessing anyway.

He shut the window carefully so as not to make any noise, then lay back in bed as his brain raced away with his thoughts. It took no longer than two minutes for him to fall into a deep sleep.  

[remedialpotions]

A Family Affair

ao3

“Mum,” said Bill, frowning at the scroll of parchment before him, “this is way too many people.”

“We’ll manage,” replied Mum as she inked yet another name onto the list. “Besides, you know how Aunt Muriel gets. If we leave anyone off the list, we’ll be hearing about it for years-“

“I know, I know, but come on.” Bill placed a finger next to one of the names, careful not to smudge it. “Thomas Prewett? Have I ever even met him?”

“Don’t worry about him, he’s that second cousin of mine-“

“Second cousin?!” Bill repeated. “Why are your second cousins invited to my wedding?”

“It’s what’s polite,” stated Mum in that tone she always took when she wanted him to stop arguing. “But you don’t have to worry about him, he’s the one who’s an accountant now, he’s not going to come.”

“Then why bother?”

“I would think you’d want your family there.”

Bill slouched down, swinging one leg up to prop his foot on the seat of a chair opposite him. He had promised Fleur that he would take on more of these wedding-related negotiations - and really he was happy to do it, if it made her happy - but they were sapping his strength.

“I do,” he said evenly. “But that means my actual family, not second cousins of yours that I’ve never met.”

“I’m sure they all came to see you when you were born-“

“Oh, well.” Bill couldn’t stop himself rolling his eyes. “That changes everything.”

Mum’s lips tightened together. “I just think it would be nice - Fleur’s list doesn’t have many people on it-“

“Right, because her family are all in France-“ Bill broke off, shaking his head. “We just hoped we could keep the wedding a bit smaller, that’s all. Less people you’ll have to cook for-“

Her hand swatted the back of his. “Don’t be silly, it isn’t a problem at all. Now, here.” She placed a stack of cream-colored envelopes and a bottle of shimmering green ink in front of him. The fancy ink - the special occasion ink. “Why don’t we start addressing the ones we know are going out? We can quibble over second cousins later.”

“All right,” Bill conceded as he reached for a quill. “Have you got addresses?”

Another scroll of parchment was unfurled in front of him. Bill leaned forward to read the name at the top and promptly, to his mum’s chagrin, burst out laughing.

“Charlie?!” he exclaimed. “What am I sending an invitation to Charlie for? He’s my best man, I think he’s aware of the wedding.”

“It’s what’s proper,” said Mum, picking up her own quill. “But if you’re going to put up a fuss, then that’s fine. You can start with - with Percy.”

And he didn’t miss the way her voice went brittle as she spoke his name, like all the air had left her lungs. The air left the room, certainly; any lingering laughter died on Bill’s lips.

“Percy,” he said slowly. “You’re joking.”

Silence fell as Mum tucked an invitation carefully into an envelope, eyes fixed on her work. “He’s your brother.”

Bill let out a sharp breath through his nose.

Yes. Strictly speaking, he and Percy had the same parents, which made them brothers. But Bill also thought that any proper brother of his wouldn’t have spoken to Dad the way Percy had, or made Mum cry for an entire summer. He wouldn’t have shown up - on Christmas, of all days - as some sort of minion for the Ministry.

“He isn’t going to come,” said Bill gently as his mother began inscribing Xenophilius Lovegood’s name onto an envelope, her jaw stubbornly set.

“You don’t know that.”

“I…” Bill sighed again. “I do know that, Mum. Even if we - even if you invite him, he’s not going to come.”

“It’s your wedding, dear,” she said, setting the envelope aside. “You said you wanted your family to be there.”

“Right, but…” Bill paused, but Mum still wasn’t looking at him. “I don’t want him there.”

Bill had not imagined that he might care this much about the guest list - though he was quickly learning that the wedding was about everyone but him and Fleur - but the notion was leaving him as swiftly as it had come. He could not have cared less if Thomas Prewett showed up with his Muggle calculator, or if the party was so vast and packed with quasi-strangers that it spilled out of the tent and stretched all the way to Exeter.

But Percy. Percy was different.

His mum’s second cousins had never mattered to him. He had not taught them to ride a broom, or helped them with maths homework at the kitchen table, or gotten them drunk for the first time on the family trip to Egypt. They had not made his fists tremble with rage and frustration, or made his stomach flip from the very thought of them. To Bill, they were inconsequential. They did not matter.

But Percy mattered. And so Bill could not have him there. Not like this.

“Now you listen here,” said Mum, leaning toward him, her quaking voice low and dangerous. “Your father and I are hosting this wedding, and we’ll decide who is or isn’t welcome in our home. Percy is your brother, and this is a family event, and he is our family. Do you understand?”

She stood so suddenly that it jostled the table, causing the parchment to roll back into itself, and started toward the stairs.

“Mum,” Bill called after her, desperate for her to see reason. “Mum, just listen-“

A door slammed shut, then, and silence fell.

Bill slumped forward, pinching the bridge of his nose, and contented himself with the thought that Fleur probably wouldn’t have fared any better.

•••

London was hot. The whole south of England was hot - Percy was not unaccustomed to this - but at least in Devon, there had been fresh air, space and room to breathe. In London, the skyscrapers seemed to trap everything in so that the city itself became stuffy, like a locked room with no windows. The heat and humidity just grew and built upon itself until it became unbearable.

Or maybe he just missed home.

But he didn’t. Why would he, when his long-overdue departure had been the catalyst for his meteoric rise to success at the Ministry? He had remained Junior Undersecretary to the Minister even through an administration change, which he knew was almost unheard of. It spoke to his talent, really. To his hard work. It proved that if he threw himself wholeheartedly into it, and dedicated all of his time and energy into being the best employee he could be, that all of his sacrifices would be worth it.

All of them.

Which was why, even though it had no business being so hot in early June, he had parked himself at the desk in his Central London flat. There was always something he could work on, always some way to do more. His plan, as it had been for the past two years, was to throw himself so fully into his work that he had no time or headspace for anything else.

Still, though. It was getting rather uncomfortable in the flat.

He stood, using the back of his hand to brush sweat from his forehead, and walked over to the window. It didn’t open much, just a small gap at the bottom, and there was hardly a breeze anyway. Nothing like the Burrow, where the windows opened wide and let the wind rush in and topple everything over.

It had always been difficult to get any work done like that.

No sooner had Percy sat back down, however, than a tawny owl flew in through the window he’d just opened with a large envelope clamped in its beak. How odd, Percy thought, to receive an owl on the weekend. Most Ministry correspondence was kept strictly to business hours.

As Percy took the envelope from the owl, he caught a glimpse of the penmanship on the front and felt his stomach drop. It was his mother’s writing. Countless scenarios flooded his mind, none of them cheerful; the weekly letters had stopped over a year ago, and now she never wrote him unless it was bad news.

He slid a finger under the flap and broke the wax seal, then drew a thick piece of parchment from inside. His eyes scanned the words, pressed into the page in elegant script.

M. & Mme. Alexandre Delacour

and

Mr & Mrs Arthur Weasley

request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their children

Fleur

and

William

on Friday, the first of August...

Percy stopped reading; his hands were shaking too much. He recalled seeing Fleur Delacour at the kitchen table, back on Christmas, but he hadn’t been aware of this most recent development. To think that his eldest brother was betrothed, and he hadn’t even known… he supposed he must have been too busy cleaning mashed parsnips from his glasses to notice an engagement ring.

But why had he received an invitation? The last time he had been to the Burrow, they had made their position quite plain. Ginny and the twins, in particular, had behaved quite outlandishly - and he, Percy, had been on official business with the Minister, so it wasn’t as if they should have taken his presence personally.

Perhaps it was just proper etiquette. People always cast a wide net when sending wedding invitations, and they never expected absolutely everyone to attend. Good manners and tradition was all it was. He wasn’t really meant to attend.

Yes, that would be it, he decided, walking slowly back to his desk. Just good manners, the way they would probably also invite that second cousin of his mother’s who worked as an accountant, and then not notice whether he was there or not.

Percy gave one last look at the invitation, then dropped it into the small metal bin under his desk.

Then he set back to work.

[vmheadquarters]

When it came to Hulu’s revival of the beloved UPN-to-CW teen detective drama Veronica Mars, creator Rob Thomas had exactly 18 f—s to give.

Or give up, that is. The executive producer had assumed that since the resurrected series, now starring an all-grown-up title character (Kristen Bell, reprising her breakthrough role) would be airing on the streaming service, beginning July 26, there would be some latitude when it came to profanity.  As they might say over on Bell’s other current series The Good Place, he was forking wrong.

“The original script had 18 f—s in it. In fact, the first word of the show was, f—,” says Thomas with a laugh. “Hulu came back to us and said, ‘You can say any word, but not that one.’” Fans will soon learn the inventive solution that Thomas devised to make sure his title character keeps it clean(ish) as she reunites with her dad Keith (Enrico Colantoni) to run their family gumshoe business in sun-soaked but seriously shady Neptune, California, where there is a steady stream of clients thanks to clashes and alliances between the affluent and the struggling.

“We were so bummed,” says Bell of the cursed cursing, but a silver lining came in the form of comedy gold “because now it becomes a [running joke], and yet another way that Veronica and Keith can stay playful.”

Beyond that glitch, the sailing was smooth AF for the return of the series which began on UPN and migrated to the CW over three seasons beginning in 2004 and spawned a 2014 Kickstartered feature film. Since wrapping the movie, all involved have openly talked about wanting to reunite and the stars — and Thomas and Bell’s schedules — finally aligned. (Hulu is currently airing the first three seasons of the series for new fans to jump in and old fans to brush up.)

The eight-installment season 4 gets right down to business in reestablishing Veronica’s relationships: with her dad, friends like Wallace (Percy Daggs III), reformed bad boy boyfriend Logan Echolls (Jason Dohring), and the cesspool of Neptune’s criminal underbelly. The overarching storyline concerns a bomber attacking spring break locations and thus, putting fear in to the hearts of residents and dents into the lucrative tourism revenue stream.

Bell didn’t think twice about sliding back behind Veronica’s telephoto lens.

“I really want to play this character for a while,” says the 39-year-old Michigan native. “It felt so necessary when I got back into her skin. And I have a theory: When the world felt safer, we were okay rooting for Walter White [of Breaking Bad]. I don’t think people want an antihero anymore, I certainly don’t. And Veronica is safe. She’s fighting for good. She’s in situations that we’ve all been in, where we felt like an outsider. I mean, that is the response I get from fans: ‘This show helped me get through high school.’ ‘This show convinced me not to do X, Y, Z terrible things to myself.’ I’ve had a lot of fun on a lot of jobs, but that’s a huge factor of why I keep coming back to this.”

Colantoni can’t help but beam paternally when discussing the seamlesslness of his reunion with Bell. “She’s always been brilliant in the multitasking even as a younger, more unknown actor,” says the veteran who has made his own imprint in over 30 years of TV and film roles from the shlubby everyguy Eliot of Just Shoot Me to lovable alien leader Mathesar in the beloved Galaxy Quest. “Her dexterity is just so heightened now, her life has gotten so much bigger. And to see her just so present and grounded in that character– it speaks volumes about Rob’s writing and how easy it is to live in — but it’s a testament to her and how talented she is.”

That mutual admiration zings around among the cast as does the sense that returning to the show was like simultaneously slipping on a comfortable old pair of shoes and trying out new ones, as they discovered who their characters were further down the line.

“It’s both, exactly,” says Dohring, who also worked with Thomas on his soon-to-conclude CW series iZombie. “It’s everything that you figured out before, and there’s also new aspects” like his enlistment in the Navy which was revealed in the 2014 film. “What did he do? How did it shape his life?  How does he become more disciplined?” were all questions the 37-year-old asked himself.

“Rob is allergic to writing stale stories, which is great for us, because we can keep having him do it, and he will find something to reinvent,” says Bell of the series in general and of the Logan/Veronica relationship specifically, which is definitely not a “happily ever after” scenario. “And that’s what I love. There is a huge dynamic shift when you start with Logan and Veronica. Logan’s been going to therapy, that’s huge. Veronica is not open to therapy.”

“Veronica’s going to start in a different place than she usually does,” says Dohring, “And she’ll have this arc and [Logan’s] kind of the counter balance to that in the way where [he’s] figured out something [in therapy].”

Logan has also, apparently, been going to the gym befitting his character’s work whose deployments are shrouded in mystery, but whose torso is not. (“They brought on the stunt guy and they didn’t even use him all day, it was just me! I was really proud,” says Dohring of a fight sequence in an early episode.)

“What was exciting about it was that I didn’t have to try so hard,” says Colantoni of returning to Mars Investigations, where Keith will be dealing with some personal issues. “You look back at the original series, I still had rosy cheeks. Some people might say I had a little more hair. [Veronica’s] a woman now, I’ve got one eye on retirement — this is in real life too. Veronica survived the worst of it. She’s stronger than [Keith] is, she’s smarter than [he is], but she’s not so smart that she doesn’t need dad.”

That Veronica is an adult is reinforced quickly and forcefully from the outset in some very steamy scenes with Dohring. Since most viewers met Veronica as a teenager — albeit a hard-boiled one befitting the show’s noir atmosphere — Bell understands it might take a little adjustment for some viewers.

“Yes, I have long been caught in between the stage of girl and woman,” says Bell, who followed Veronica with a string of successful film and TV roles including Showtime’s House of Lies, the beloved Disney animated musical Frozen, and the aforementioned The Good Place. “They really made Veronica a woman in this series, and I appreciated that, and that Rob is incredibly intelligent and keeps Diane Ruggiero, our female head writer, very close. And Diane is a little bit Veronica herself. She’s whip-smart, she’s not afraid of her sexuality. She’s just a dynamite human being. The fact is that this is a more rated-R series, we’re not shying away from the fact that Veronica is an adult woman.” Plus, Bell adds with a laugh, “I’m hoping that the audience can deduce that since I have two children, I’ve had sex in my life, minimally, two times. So it isn’t a new, or uncomfortable, experience for Veronica. It’s something she very much enjoys, and I want people to feel free to watch it and feel all the feelings.”

Even before these eight episodes have aired, everyone is ready to sign up for more as schedules allow.

“The thing that we know is that creatively, Hulu was very happy with how this turned out,” says Thomas. “So, I think if we do well — and I have no idea how streaming judges these things, that remains a mystery to me — that everyone would be game for seeing when we can slot in the next eight episodes.”

“I am wholeheartedly committed to playing this character until the fans don’t want me to anymore,” says Bell, who envisions a scenario in which she returns intermittently until Veronica needs bifocals to see through her binoculars. “I would play it till she hits ‘Murder She Wrote,’ and everyone in Neptune is dead. Because it feels that good to play her. It feels good to fight for what’s right and just, and also maintain a sense of vulnerability while possessing porcupine quills.” And, a taser, just in case.