#'when she knows her darkest secrets were overheard by the only person who could understand'

[biillys]

#it's the way she stands up straighter as he moves closer #their bodies are mirrors #and HE reaches out HE breaks first even as her eyes water #it's not hope it's not sadness that's just grief baby #but he wipes the tear #so tender in a way he never was allowed to be in life #Max abandons her disbelief because she's already flipped upside down #lol had to #and doesn't question this quiet moment #when she knows her darkest secrets were overheard by the only person who could understand #now hug you idiots (x)

BILLY HARGROVE & MAX MAYFIELD in STRANGER THINGS 4 ↳ Chapter Four: Dear Billy

[echoes-of-the-clockwork]

Book Two: Sapphire (Ignis x Reader) Chapter IV

The next morning, (Y/n) found herself to be the first one up. Carefully and quietly, she flew over to the door and used her small body to open it. Exiting the hotel room, she flew out of the Mother of Pearl and headed to the beach. In her small form, she sat on the white sands and admired the view just like she did the day before.

As the sun slowly rose above the horizon, her attention was drawn to a man who was also enjoying the beach at such an early hour in the morning. Taking a closer look, she realized it was the spiky-haired man who was accompanying the other oddly-dressed stranger yesterday. He was laying on his back, arms folded behind his head with his eyes shut.

Without thinking, she transformed into her human form. She figured he hadn't seen her, but that thought was quickly dismissed when she heard him chuckle. "So that's what you look like." He opened his eyes and pushed himself off the sand, brushing off whatever he could. "You're that guardian with those guys, right?"

(Y/n) remained silent with a stoic expression. She wasn't fond of strangers, especially the ones who kept odd company and were difficult to read. The man noticed her sealed lips and sighed. "Not much of a talker, huh? That'll make this easier then." Her eyes narrowed as he took a few steps towards her. He held up his hands to show he wouldn't hurt her. One of his hands gravitate towards the hem of his shirt, where he lifted it up and revealed the emerald gemstone embedded in the flesh of his abdomen. "I'm a guardian just like yourself."

Now she could no longer remain silent. "Then what's with your eyes?"

"Contacts. My...master insists I wear them due to how dangerous it is to be a guardian."

She crossed her arms, popping a hip out. "What do you mean "dangerous"?"

"Guess you haven't heard," he said. "The empire's been on a massive hunt to kill spirits. Now that Insomnia is destroyed, it'll make their hunt much more easy."

Her eyes widened in horror. "What?"

"Oh, damn. You didn't hear about that either?" The man handed her a newspaper. "This'll be able to tell you more than I could."

She took the newspaper and read the headline.

Insomnia Falls

Her eyes darted back and forth as she skimmed over the details. She couldn't believe what she was reading, especially when it came from a complete stranger. Tossing the newspaper, she transformed and took to the sky.

Flying as fast as she could, she left Galdin Quay and landed in the Longwythe Rest Area. She transformed and searched for the local newspaper. It had the same headline as the paper the man showed her. Still in disbelief, she transformed once again and few in the direction of Insomnia. She tried to convince herself the papers were lying and it was only propaganda, but she couldn't. Flying as high as she could, she hovered in the air.

When coming as close to the city as she possibly could, her sapphire eyes soaked in the image of the burning, smoking remains of Insomnia. Plumes of smoke rose into the air, fogging the sky above. Imperial dreadnoughts flew to and from the city.

Eventually, the sky was overcome with dark clouds. (Y/n) flew down to safety near the city checkpoint, which was occupied by imperial forces. She hid behind a concrete barricade as it began pouring down rain. Looking past the imperial forces, she saw the Regalia turn down a side road. Sneaking past the imperial forces, she followed the car. From a distance, she watched as they made their way up the hill that provided a perfect view of Insomnia. They fought through imperial troopers and magiteks, clearly angered by what the empire had done to their home.

The guardian knew the boys could handle the enemies without her and remained on the sidelines. She stopped briefly when the voice she heard from her dreams echoed around her.

Chosen...vessel...

She transformed in the spot she had been hiding and looked around. "Who are you?"

Creator...

Her brows furrowed together in confusion. The voice was almost like an echo in the distance. It was unclear and she couldn't understand its broken speech pattern. She shook her head, casting the voice aside. "Maybe I really am going crazy." Looking up, she squinted her eyes to prevent the rain from falling into them. Through the storm clouds, she could see the familiar cluster of stars that radiated brilliantly-the Celestial Crescent. It was a grouping of stars only spirits could see. The darkest clouds couldn't obscure its bright brilliance of various hues of colors, not even the sun could wash it away with its warm, bright rays of light.

(Y/n) tore her gaze away from the Celestial Crescent at the sound of the boys walking past her hiding spot. She overheard them talking about her. They were all worried about her, even Gladio. She had taken off without telling them and they feared the worst had happened. Inhaling deeply, she followed after them back to the car. She no longer wished to hide her human form from Prompto, Noctis, and Gladio. The charade ended today.

Just as (Y/n) caught up with the boys, an imperial drop ship found their location. Magiteks poured from the hatch and surrounded the boys. It wasn't something they couldn't handle, but Noctis was being more careless than usual. He was fueled by his anger and wasn't thinking straight, failing to deliver the finishing blow to one of the MTs. It dragged its body off the ground behind the prince and raised its axe to finish him off. Ignis, Prompto, and Gladio were too occupied with being swarmed by other magiteks that they didn't see the single one that resurrected.

The guardian morphed a blade from pure ice and joined the fray. She charged towards the MT and pierced its body from behind before it could hurt Noctis. Sparks emitted from the hole in its back and abdomen as the sword shattered.

Noctis heard the dying shrieks of the MT and turned around. He watched it collapse, eyes widening when he spotted the girl behind it. He recognized her from Galdin Quay and was able to easily piece together the puzzle. "(Y/n)."

She smiled at him, her heart racing as she tried her best to keep her shy nature in check. "Sorry for keeping it a secret for so long." She took a few steps back before looking towards Ignis. "I also want to apologize for running off like I did. The news was overbearing and I wanted to see it for myself."

"I am simply relieved you are safe," the advisor replied, smiling faintly.

Noctis nodded in agreement. "Yeah, especially after what that weirdo told us."

"Weirdo?" (Y/n) mumbled.

"That spiky-haired guy we met yesterday."

She knew exactly who he was talking about. "He's the one who told me about Insomnia, and how the empire's hunting down spirits for some reason."

"We feared the empire had apprehended you," Ignis said.

The guardian's cerulean eyes drifted over to Gladio and Prompto, who had yet to say anything. She saw they were shocked at her appearance and couldn't say anything. She immediately looked away, feeling her shyness break through. "W-Where to now?"

"Hammerhead," the strategist said. "The marshal will be waiting for us. We best make haste."

Back at the Regalia, Ignis was about to hop into the driver's seat when he noticed (Y/n)'s discomfort. He spoke up on her behalf and addressed the photographer in their group. "Prompto, do be a gentleman and relinquish the front seat to (Y/n)."

The marksman nodded with flushed cheeks. "Y-Yeah, sure thing." He quickly climbed into the backseat with Gladio and Noctis. It was a tight squeeze, but the boys were more than happy to give the girl some space.

Their ride to Hammerhead was silent. Not even Ignis or (Y/n) spoke to each other. What happened to their home lingered in their minds and they couldn't think about anything else or what to say to each other.

It wasn't long before they arrived at the outpost and quickly departed again after learning from Cid that Cor was waiting for them at Prairie Outpost. As they drove to their next destination, (Y/n) kept her gaze on the passing scenery. She still hadn't built up the courage to speak to Prompto or Gladio just yet. She folded her arms atop the window sill and rested her chin on her forearms. Closing her eyes, she enjoyed the feeling of the breeze tousling her (h/c) locks. She didn't open her eyes until they arrived at Prairie Outpost.

Exiting the vehicle, the group walked up to a woman. She greeted Noctis, clearly relieved as she spoke. "Your Highness. I'm glad you're safe."

Gladio recognizes the woman before them. "Monica! Where're all the others?"

"Most of the Crownsguard didn't make it. It was all we could do to escort Lady Iris out of the city. Dustin is with her as we speak, seeing her the rest of the way to Lestallum."

"I owe you guys big time."

"Head for the royal tomb. The marshal awaits."

As they headed to the tomb and walked by many hunters, (Y/n) tensed up slightly. She could feel the eyes of many on her as she followed behind Noctis. She had fallen behind without realizing and grabbed the attention of the prince. "You, uh...okay there, (Y/n)?" He also wasn't used to seeing her human form, but at least he was talking to her unlike Prompto and Gladio.

She nodded. "I-I'm fine."

The raven-haired boy tugged at his messy fringe. "Specs did say you were shy."

"I-It's not just that," she said, looking around at the hunters. She caught a few blatantly staring at her while others immediately looked away when she caught their eyes on her. "People are staring. Maybe because my kind are rare to find."

Noctis' eyes raked over the girl's form. Her beauty rivaled that of Lunafreya's and Cindy's. He cleared his throat and immediately looked away. "Yeah, we'll go with that..."

Continuing down the dirt trail, Prompto eventually asked about the woman they recently spoke to. "So who is this Monica person?"

"A servant of the Crownsguard, like Gladio and myself," Ignis replied.

"She's one of my father's best," Gladio added. "Along with Dustin-who's guarding my sister."

"Good to know we still have people we can count on outside the city," Noctis commented.

As the royal retinue continues making their way for the Tomb of the Wise, the boys began talking about Cor. (Y/n) listened to their conversation, remaining silent. She had met the Marshal the day they left Insomnia, but she hasn't properly been introduced to him. She remembered Ignis talking about him from time to time, which made her understand he was a man held in high regards by many.

Once their trek ended, they arrived at the Tomb of the Wise. The entrance was wide open and there was no sign of Cor. Walking into the tomb, they found the marshal waiting for them, standing beside a sarcophagus that bears a sword in its hands.

"Marshal," Ignis addressed the man.

Cor's gaze focused on the prince. "At last, Your Highness."

Noctis was clearly irritated as he spoke. "Yeah, wanna tell me what I'm here for?"

"The power of kings, passed from the old to the new through the bonding of souls. One such soul lies before you. To claim your forebears' power is your birthright and duty as king," the marshal explained.

"My duty as king of what?" Noctis hissed through gritted teeth.

"Now is not the time to question your calling," Cor remarked with a hint of anger. "A king is sworn to protect his people."

"And yet he chose to protect only one prince. Was that his calling? Forsake the masses to spare his own son?"

Cor's eyes narrowed. "How long will you remain the protected? The king entrusted the role of protector to you."

""Entrusted" it to me? Then why didn't he tell me that? Why did he stand there smiling as I left? Why-Why did he lie to me?"

"That day, he didn't want you to remember him as the king. In what time you had left, he wanted to be your father. He always had faith in you, that when the time came, you would ascend for the sake of your people."

"Guess he left me no choice." Noctis holds out his hand over the sarcophagus. The sword embedded in the stone phases through the casket's hands and floats into the air. It then flies into Noctis' body, being absorbed into him and added to his arsenal. He now had the power of his ancestor.

Cor spoke again after witnessing Noctis successfully absorb his ancestor's power. "That's not the only power your forebears left you. Your journey's just begun. Another tomb lies close by. I suggest you head there next. There are tombs scattered across the land. All are on dangerous ground. I'll go with you, for the time being. Not only to help, but to get a measure of your strength."

"So just how many of these "powers" are out there?" Noctis asked.

"There are thirteen known royal arms, each enshrined at a royal tomb, though we know the location of only a few. I've enlisted the Hunters. They comb the land in search of the lost tombs."

"Where's the one nearby you mentioned?"

"Keycatrich Trench. We know there to be a crypt deep inside the tunnels. Before we set out, there's another thing I must tell you."

The prince crossed his arms. "And what's that?"

"The empire's hunting down guardians and killing them to prevent you from obtaining the conduit. Find this spirit and obtain their blessing."

Noctis glanced over at (Y/n) for a split second before looking back at the marshal. "Why do I need this blessing?"

Cor sighed. "That, I'm afraid I don't understand." He shoved his hand into his pocket and pulled out a necklace. The jewel adorning it was black, cracked, and had a silver phoenix wrapped around it. (Y/n)'s eyes widen in shock, which didn't go unnoticed by the marshal.

"What're we looking at, Marshal?" Gladio questioned.

"Seems the guardian amongst you is already aware."

All eyes fell on (Y/n). She couldn't tear her own gaze away from the necklace. "A guardian gemstone. When we pass, the gemstone cracks and turns black." She took a step forward. "Marshal, who does this necklace belong to?"

"Me," Cor replied. "I lost her years ago. She's the one who told me about the conduit, but she never mentioned why the prophesized King would need them. Only that he would require their blessing. You wouldn't happen to know, would you?"

She hung her head. "I'm afraid not. Forgive me, Marshal."

The man put the necklace back into his pocket. "Minor change of plans."

"Yeah? And what's that?" Noctis asked.

"I want to see (Y/n) in action. The rest of you will stand on the sidelines."

"Marshal, I can assure you," Ignis started but was promptly interrupted by Cor.

"It's more to satisfy my curiosity than an evaluation. I'm well aware of the power possessed by guardians. I'm more interested in her unique abilities." The marshal looked over at the (h/c)-haired girl. "Let's depart."

The group left the royal tomb and headed to the next one in Keycatrich Trench. They were all silent until they spotted imperial forces in the distance. Among the soldiers were two mechs, which is what (Y/n) had her sights set on. She snuck off without telling the others and infiltrated enemy ranks.

Prompto was the first to notice her absence when they came to a stop. "Uh, guys? Where did (Y/n) go?"

Noctis, Gladio, and Ignis looked around for her, but couldn't find her. Cor went to make a remark, but he held his tongue when they heard the imperial soldiers screaming and shooting. Looking towards the troopers, they saw the two magitek armors were targeting their fellow imperial soldiers.

When all the soldiers were annihilated, one of magitek armors turned to face the other and fired a single rocket. The second mech exploded into pieces while the first one was suddenly speared with large shards of ice.

The men were in awe and shock at what they had witnessed. Carefully, they approached the remains of the carnage and found an innocent-looking (Y/n) standing among the remains of the exploded magitek armors. She combed her (h/c) locks over her shoulders as the others approached her.

"I don't know what you did, but well done," Cor complimented.

"I only performed a minor lightning incantation on the mechs to manipulate the coding and turn them against their own allies," she explained.

"You made it look like a walk in the park," Noctis commented.

"The way to Keycatrich Trench is clear. We shouldn't linger too long or more imperial forces will show up."

They arrived at the entrance of Keycatrich Trench and Cor took a key out of his pocket and tossed it towards Noctis. "Here's where we go our separate ways. Take this key. It unlocks the doors to the other tombs. Seek them out and lay claim to the power they hold. You'll need it."

Noctis examines the key before meeting the marshal's gaze. "And what will you do?"

"Keep an eye on the Niffs and see if I can dig up more information on this conduit. But you should focus on your own task."

"I will."

Cor turned and left. With the marshal gone, the group proceeded into Keycatrich Trench.

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[raziroo]

1.Stockholm Syndrome - Sirius Black

Pairing : Sirius Black x Reader

Genre : Angst

Warnings : Mentions of death, mentally abusive home conditions, pain. Read at your own risk. 

Word Count : 4,297

~~~~~

I didn't like these people. 

I didn't like the pretty redhead; not the kind brunet, not the funny raven, not even the nervous blond. And I certainly didn't like the rude, black-haired boy. 

See, I'd been abducted by these people in hopes that I would give them information regarding my family, my father. 

I was sitting in the living room of our not-so-homely home, reading a textbook about latin, trying to understand the meaning of the extremely complicated meanings of magical spells. I was bound to learn some of them, some day, I was sure of it. Because even if the magic flowing through my veins was untamed, there had to be some way for me to control it. At least that's what my great grandmother always said. 

But then again, I'd always been fed lies, throughout my life, since I was an infant, so there really was no saying if it was true or not. Because I really was clueless about what this 'pure magic' meant for me; I didn't know how to control it, I didn't know how to not lash out if any dark magic was near me, and I certainly didn't know how to sleep without that soul-binding spell. 

My life was a little complicated, yes. 

Actually, more than a little complicated, but I do not wish to delve into the complexities and issues of my life. However, one thing I can say is that it isn't pleasant, and there is absolutely no possible way that I enjoy this life. 

Anyway, as I reached to the five hundred and seventy eighth page of the massive book, I was rudely interrupted by a call of my name, coming from our house butler. Yes, we have a butler serving us, along with a house elf, and I myself am not sure why my cruelly disgusting father craves to express the 'power' he holds in the Wizarding World. I think it's annoying. 

"Miss, please descend to the dungeons," Klaus, our butler, said. I didn't look up from my book. "Why Klaus, what is it?"

"Your Grandmother -"

"Great grandmother, Klaus."

"My apologies, miss. Your great grandmother requires you to get to dunge -"

"Why? Why does she require me to do so?" I asked, finally looming up at him, face neutral, eyes filled with scrutiny. He looked different from usual, though; the cuffs of his shirt were unbuttoned, his tie was the slightest bit loose, and he looked panicked. 

"Miss, plea -"

However, before he could finish it, a CT of red hit him, along with a call of "Stupefy!". I turned to the door, only to see two men, about my age, one with jaw-length black hair, and another with sandy brown hair, at the door. The former had his hand held out, wand gripped in it so tight, his knuckles were going white. 

I hadn't moved, but obviously, they'd come there to get me, because as soon as Klaus was passed out, both of them turned to me. They shared a glance, and I had blacked out too, the book falling from my hands. 

This group of people, majority of them my age, called themselves The Order of the Phoenix. The name, being quite impressive, had managed to pique my interest. But, as my rotten fate would have it, these people would just glare at me whenever I asked them about it. 

They obviously thought that I was worth of value to my family, my father, precisely, and so they'd captured me to get my father and his group of horrid men, men much like him, to come and rescue me, and then the Order would capture them as well; the Order probably wanted information from them. They'd also asked me a couple times, to see if I knew anything, but I had, unsurprisingly, told them I didn't, because I honestly didn't. They didn't believe me, and I hadn't expected them to. Everyone would think that being the heiress to a prestigious pure blood family, I would be aware of, and support, all their darkest secrets. My family was completely opposite; they didn't tell me anything they did, and didn't even consider myself a suitable heiress, solely because I was different from them; I was pure. My magic was pure, I couldn't be able to perform dark magic even if I wanted to.  

My family had showed no signs of coming to rescue me, and I was sure they wouldn't, until Antonin asked them to. See, Antonin was my fiance, and probably the only one of the people who knew me to actually care even a tad about me. And even though I knew that it was just because he wanted to mate with me; children of people like me, and usual wizards and witches, were said to have stronger magic running through their body, stronger than normal magical folk. 

I didn't even love Antonin, he was 9 years older than me, and it was he who was infatuated by me, by my appearance, and by my blood. 

Tonight, however, was supposed to be a more interesting night than usual; the Order would question me. In the sense, properly question me. They would make me sit in a room for a couple hours, take turns questioning me, you know. Everything that a person wanted to go through. 

I, personally, didn't think they knew of my abilities, of my magic, because one, my family did their level best to keep everything about me under wraps, and two, the Order never use the soul-binding spell on me before I went to sleep. That's the exact reason I hadn't slept in four days now; if I did, my magic would go into overdrive, and probably severely maim me and the other people living in this house. If there are any. 

And so, currently, I am trying, and failing miserably, in reading one of the books this room contains. It's not that I don't want to read; it's probably the only source that I have to get rid of boredom. It's the fact that my eyelids are drooping, and my brain is desperately trying to convince me to fall asleep. I'm against my brain. 

"Sit."

"Where?"

"On the chair, that's kept in front of the table."

"OK, OK, calm down," I said, and headed to the wooden chair that was clearly meant for me to sit in. That didn't mean that I wasn't allowed to irritate the three males who'd escorted me into this room. Specifically, Sirius. I'd overheard that glasses wearing man calling the rude one Sirius. And also 'Padfoot' a couple of times. I was sure it was just a stupid nickname. 

I took my seat, and so did the three males. They were silent for the most part, and I fiddled with the charm of my necklace. After a period of prolonged silence, in which they appeared to be uncomfortable, and I thought about my betrothal with Antonin, among other things, the glasses wearing boy finally spoke up. "Where are Fab and Gid?"

Sandy haired boy shook his head. "No idea, James."

And then there was silence for another 5 minutes, when three redheads entered the room - one a pretty redhead, who was also pregnant. Weird I hadn't noticed that earlier, because she looked to be at least six months along. The other two were both men, looking a few years older than the rest of us, and were twins. 

All of them greeted each other, but looked hesitant, and kept glancing at me, and although the others at least tried to be discreet, the twins and Sirius weren't even trying. Charming. 

Pretty soon, my questioning had begun, the males all taking turns asking me questions, while the girl stood on the sidelines. I answered them to the best of my ability, because I honestly didn't know what my father, heck, my whole family was up to, but I sure didn't support them. I would never support them. Not after what happened to Antares. They didn't believe me, but I couldn't possibly do anything to change that. 

However, when the questioning took a turn, and they started prying too much for my comfort, I diverted the topic, and very obviously at that. 

"Why didn't you attend Hogwarts? Because you look to be about our age, but we've never seen you around. And you weren't enrolled in any Wizardry institution, don't try to lie. We have all the records." Fabian said, pulling out a thick file of papers from a drawer I hadn't noticed. 

I tried to keep my face neutral, but my jaw was working, and they saw that too. I had been caught in headlights, and needed an escape, quick.

"What's your name?" I turned to the girl, who looked startled by my sudden interest in her. 

"Huh?" she asked, looking to the raven haired male, who I assumed was her boyfriend. "Your name, what is it?" I raised my brows, biting on my thumb nail. 

"Uh, Lily, my name is Li -"

"Lily," I said slowly, liking how it rolled off of my tongue, my eyes staring into the distance, and then snapping to her. "Beautiful name, suits you. And," I pointed at the stomach of the bewildered woman. "First child?"

"Yes."

"Hm. Good for you."

I then turned to the males, who had all been watching mine and Lily's interaction with incredulous looks. "So, you're the father, I assume?" I questioned James in a tone I rarely used, authority. They all turned to me, silent. "Hm?"

"Y- yes, I... am the father." The boy looked genuinely nervous. Poor thing. 

I nodded, and sat up attentively. "Well, I would really appreciate if you got this questioning session over with quickly," I said.

"I... OK. Yeah, let's, get on with it... Remus?" Gideon turned to the sand haired boy. 

"Yeah, yeah, so -"

Just then, the door to the room burst open, and plump woman of about thirty entered the room, with hair same as the twins, and she looked distraught. "Molly?" Fabian asked. "What is it?"

"Death Eaters! I- in Diagon Alley!"

The males all got up in an instant, snatching their wands; James went over to his panicked-looking... whatever Lily was to him, and cupped her face, pressing a chaste kiss to her forehead. As the men all left, the two women glanced at each other, and then at me, probably because they were confused on what to do about me. Or probably because I hadn't even turned to Molly when she'd made her entrance, hadn't glimpsed at the bustle in the room even once. 

*****

One whole week. One whole weak, solid seven days, I'd gone without even a wink of sleep. I didn't know how I was even awake at this point, because all of my being, my entire body was begging for me to sleep, and I wanted to, so badly. But I couldn't. If I didn't wish to hurt these people, if I didn't wish to hurt myself, I couldn't. I was aware of that, and accepting of that fact. 

But it seemed that my kidnappers weren't. For on the eighth night, Sirius entered the room with a tray of food. This was strange because usually it was Lily, or occasionally Remus, who came to serve me food. I wasn't exactly sure why Sirius Black, of all people, had come to give me food. 

My confusion was momentary, because I sensed the smell of a sleeping concoction as soon as the tray of food was set on the bedside table. And I would've been able to eat the food, if only I knew what exact item the potion was mixed in. The rest of the food was perfectly consumable. 

After surveying the tray of food, and Sirius' neutral expression, I asked him a question. "Can I ask you something, Padfoot?"

A strickened expression flashed across his face, but was gone as soon as it appeared. "Don't call me Padfoot," he growled, jaw clenched. "And no, don't ask a question. Just eat your food, and let me go," he looked up to me, his face a couple feet away from mine, hair falling in his face. I would have been lying if I said he wasn't abnormally attractive. 

"Okay, then. What have you mixed the sleeping potion in?"

"Could you please shut up with your nonsense, and let me go? " he stood up straight. 

"Could you please answer me, and do me the favour of leaving? " I retorted, eyebrows raised. 

The male exhaled forcefully through his nose, looking extremely pissed. "No."

"Okay."

"What?"

"Oh-kay," I sounded. "I mean, you can leave. Go."

He looked skeptical. "Okay, I'll leave."

"Yeah, yeah, go. Just- uh, and take the food as well," I said, motioning to the tray. 

"You don't wanna eat?" he asked. 

"I do want to eat. I would honestly really appreciate if I could eat food, I mean, I can't sleep, food will be appreciated. But," I drawled the word out longer. "I don't wish to consume a sleeping potion."

The man looked at me after my statement, for about a minute. And then before I could react, he was aiming his wand at me, and I passed out, part of me glad to receive sleep, and a fraction of me scared of what was very clearly bound to happen. 

My body felt hot, all over, as if there was electricity flowing through me. A familiar feeling of stinging pain consumed my head, and spread to my body, slowly, painfully. Inevitable cries, shouts, and groans of pain escaped me, eventually turning to screams of pure agony. Tears flowed from my eyes, as I writhed and thrashed, my magic erupting out of me in short bursts. 

I could make out the faint noises of people entering the room, casting spells, and trying to control my magic. I knew it would be uncontrollable; it would only go away when all my energy was drained, as in literally drained, I wouldn't be able to use magic for about a week or two. There was another way, however. The soul-binding spell. Two simple words, 'ligat animam', and all my misery would be gone. But none of these people were skilled or powerful enough to carry that spell out, I was sure of it. Even my father had to practice for a good three weeks to get the spell right, and however much might I dislike him, I had to say that he was an extremely skilled wizard, and an experienced one too. 

These wizards and witches, however, would just end up fainting, and not help me in any way. After all, the soul-binding spell was as tiring as the patronus, if not more. Constricting a person's soul, their core, their magic, it wasn't an easy task, shouldn't have to be. 

They would just get hurt, the Order. And so, overpowering my agony and suffering for just a moment, I managed to utter something that made them leave, albeit hesitantly. "It wo- ah! Won't wo-urk! Lea...ve! Un-less you... bind- the sou...l!  Please!" and went back to sobbing. I guess they understood what I said, and left. 

Waking up was a very energy-consuming task, more so than you could ever fathom. Every joint, every bone, every fiber of my being hurt, and hurt bad. My body was so completely sore, it was almost numb, and it would have been a million times better if it was numb, because the aching was unbearable, something no one should have to experience. In simpler words, it was as bad as the after effects of the Cruciatus curse. 

I somehow, Merlin knows how, managed to support myself up on my elbows, before crumbling to my bed again. Morgana help me. My situation was hopeless and I knew it.

I had nearly given up on hopes of getting up and about, when someone entered my room. Correction, two someone's entered my room. One was a sand-haired male, Remus Lupin, and the other was a black-haired one, Sirius Black. 

I had only recently learned that this Sirius was the Sirius Black, epitome of disappointment, perfect example of what was considered disappointing in a pure blood family. It was actually quite foolish of me to not put two and two together, there were very less people who would name their child Sirius. 

Anyways, as the two men entered my room, my eyes followed their movements; Sirius stopped at the entrance, while it was Remus who actually entered the room. The latter trotted to my bed, and unexpectedly, helped me sit up. I was surely surprised at first, yes, but managed to cover it up pretty well. Or so I thought.

"Why do you look so surprised, hm? We're good people, you know, people who actually want to do good for the Wizarding World," Sirius chided. Now, look, I would have just ignored him, like I always do. But one should have the basic understanding of when they need to stop blabbing, and stay silent. Sirius clearly didn't have such sense. And so, when Remus went to say something to the former, I cut him off and spoke myself. 

"Siri-"

"Yeah, you're such an angel, aren't you?"

The boy's jaw clenched. "And what exactly is that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, I don't know, probably the fact that you put me to sleep without my consent; you are the reason the happenings of last night even occurred!" I answered, my tone sharp. My retort didn't seem to faze Remus a lot; in fact, he had a slightly guilty expression himself. But why would- Oh. 

The sleeping potion, obviously. These people were worried about my sleep schedule, and that's why the attempt to get me to sleep. They probably thought it was because of being captured, because of anxiety, that I was losing sleep. Foolish people. 

"You thought- you all thought that I wasn't sleeping because I was stressed... about being held captive?"

When no one broke the silence, I did. By chuckling. "You are all so naive," I said, full out laughing now, albeit it being hysteric. Their faces were hilariously incredulous. 

I stopped laughing, and rolled my eyes. 

"I, have no reason to be worried, or stressed, or- or anxious, of you," I said, each word being pronounced with each of its syllables. "I didn't wish to sleep because of... Well, because of what happened last night. You thought it wise to interfere in matters that didn't concern you, and that's why I had to- " I stopped, and took in a breath, closing my eyes. 

"Could you please leave?"

*****

Sirius didn't wish to, apparently, because after only three hours of providing me with time to think, he returned. That complete, absolute git had the nerve to enter my room after hurting me so much. 

He cleared his throat. I didn't pay attention. He coughed. I still didn't listen. He stopped trying, saving the little bit of self respect he had left. 

After a long and painfully uncomfortable period of silence, I adressed the man who was present with me in the room. "So, you're here." 

"I- uh, yes, uh, I guess I am... After all." he cleared his throat again, not meeting my eyes. 

"Hm. Well... what are you here for, Mr. Black?" he radiated an even more awkward aura, if that was possible. "I... I wanted to apologize. On the entire Order's behalf; we shouldn't have tried to, uh, put you to sleep forcefully."

"That's... yeah, you shouldn't have." This statement made him look ashamed. "But, well... I guess your heart was, uh, sorry, hearts were in the correct place. You just needed a bit more... Research. It's... Okay, after all. I accept your apology."

The male finally looked up, hope flickering in his eyes. "Really?"

"Yes, really," I nodded, not breaking eye contact. He smiled a bit; the smile made him look a hundred times more attractive than he already was.

"That's... Great. Thank you."

*****

Two months. It had been two more months of me being held captive, but my family didn't seem to care; some would consider my condition to be pitiful. Over the course of these two months, I had grown fond of these people. James, Lily, Remus, Peter, Fabian and Gideon, even Sirius. I didn't really know Peter that well; he seemed kind of scared of me, if I'm being honest. I didn't really dwell on it too long, just shrugging the matter off. 

I also was sleeping on a regular basis; Dumbledore helped with the soul binding spell. Meeting the elderly wizard had been quite an experience, I would always remember it. 

Currently, I was eating breakfast on a small foldable table, Sirius sitting opposite me. I had grown closer to him more than anyone else, he actually had a great personality. I think his personality was the reason why he came across as so effortlessly attractive. 

"How is it?"

"The food?"

"Obviously."

"Well. It's actually really good. Doesn't seem like something Molly would typically make, but it's good."

"Really? "Sirius seemed uncharacteristically excited. 

"...Yes. Why? "

"I made it. "

I looked up at him, studying his face. He really had made the food on his own. "Liar. "

"Wha- no! You got to trust me" I'm not lyi-" He was enraged. 

"I'm done. Congratulate Molly for cooking such delicious food," I said ignorantly, putting my fork down.

"You do believe me, don't you? You're just trying to irritate me," Sirius said in a tone that seemed to be wanting to convince himself more than me, that I believed him. He waved his wand, and the plates and cutlery were gone, table folded and levitated to the side. 

"Well... I might be," I said, sheepishly.

He stared at me. I stared back. 

"Can I ask you something?"

"Go ahead."

"Why... We're you not anxious or worried? I mean, you were being held captive, it doesn't matter however nice the captor is," he asked, hesitantly. 

I sunk back in the pillows, and suddenly, my hand seemed to intrigue me more than they ever had. "It's okay, you know, if you don't want to tell," he began in a hurry.��"It's perfectly fi-"

"No, no no no, " I cut him off, stretching my hands in front of me. "It's just... They aren't exactly... The best household to be part of, or grow up in. They've always ridiculed me for... My magic. Because it's different, and because it repels dark magic. The kind that they always put to use, so, they feel... offended, maybe? That their daughter, their own blood can't do the magic they want her to. It's no big deal, honestly," I laughed, not breaking my record of not loosing at the male opposite of me. "I guess it's just how pure blood families work."

I kept my gaze in my lap, pointedly ignoring Sirius. Said person stayed silent for a long time; longer than I felt comfortable with. Just as I had begun apologising for burdening him with my family's secrets, he reached across and hugged me. Tight. And initially, I was confused, but then I made out the vibrations of his chest against mine: sobbing. Sirius was sobbing. Why, I wasn't aware. But that didn't matter. So I hugged him back. I held him close to me, my arms wrapped around him tightly. 

*****

He was here. They all were here. For me. 

It had been six months since I was captured, and they were finally here. Lily's son had been born, little Harry, and he was in danger. Lily herself was in danger. And so were James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, everyone. Gideon had already been maimed; Fabian was dead. 

All because of me. 

And just as I burst out of the room Sirius had locked me in, so as to keep me away from the insane amounts of dark magic outside, I collided with him.

"Antonin," I breathed, looming up at the man. He was clean shaven, like always, and his eyes had that cruel glint, like always. 

"Oh, love," he sighed out, like he'd been putting a lot of effort to just be able to say that to my face again; and with the ambush these Death Eaters had carried out, I was sure he had. He was just about to wrap his arms around my torso, when a spell hit him from behind, blasting him to the wall. Horrified, I looked up, and my orbs met stormy gray ones. 

The person who possessed these eyes grabbed a hold of my forearms, and in one swift motion, I was inside that wretched room back again, and Sirius had locked that door, again.

"What do you think you're doing?!"

"Sirius, calm down, I was-"

"Calm down? I'm sorry for not being calm during an ambush! Now what were you-"

"Sirius! Listen to me, alright? They- um, Antonin, he won't stop until he has me, okay? And Fabian is already, I can't, I'm sorry. But I've got to go, okay? I have to go, becau- "

"No, no no no! No! You can't! Please, love, no-" He looked so panicked. For the first time since I'd known him, Sirius black looked a wreck. 

I kissed him. Square on the lips, and for a time period that seemed way too short to tell him how much I really loved him. 

"I love you, Black. And don't you ever forget that."

And with that, I stormed out of the room, right into Antonin, who apparated me out, with Sirius having that stunned and pained look in his eyes. 

*****

Twelve years. It took him twelve years to break out of that hellish place. 

I would have scoured the planet if I could, for him. Shame really, that I was already dead. James and Lily thought so too.

[yuri-shibuya]

Are yall ready for arctic au tommy? Get ur arctic tommy off the presses ahahahah. Please give it some love, it’s crossposted here too for yall!!!

Summary:

Tommy was the heart of the kingdom. He was loved and he loved with his very being, always bright and smiling.

And because he was of the Arctic, he was raised to give what was due. He was no fool, even if he acted like it sometimes.

After all, that was how he was raised.

---- Or Tommy learned a few things in his life

(Arctic AU)

Tommy was an active child. He ran before he could walk and yelled before he could even talk. For a child born on the darkest night, when the Moon herself hit her apex, he was as bright and vibrant as the sun.

But Tommy was no fool.

He had learned three irrefutable truths throughout his life; three rules he had to follow no matter what.

These three rules were not taught, at least not by tutors, they were whispered to him at night when no one else was around and taught through actions. Tommy was not naive, no matter how much he was a child. He knew when secrets had to remain secrets.

He didn't survive this long by being naive, even as a child of the Arctic granted her protection.

So with only the stars marking his lessons, he studied these three truths as intensely as he studied his sword lessons.

First, never touch anyone unprotected. This was a truth he had learned after accidentally burning Wisp after he held on for too long. (He remembered how the older man had hissed, the shape of a splotchy little hand on his shoulder from where Tommy had clutched him as he was carried.)

This was a rule Wilbur whispered to him at the dead of night, when he was just a small babe (not that Tommy remembered). Later, his father reminded him, tucking gloves around his small hand, covering his skin.

"Be careful, Stardust." Phil murmured, hands gentle and sturdy as he gifted Tommy his very first pair of embroidered gloves. "You are a child of the Arctic, born of frost and snow."

His father had held him close, and Tommy stretched out his little palm over Phil's, comparing their hands. "Our hands are a gift from her, a mark we bear as proof that she protects us."

"But we are made of ice and wind, frost flowers and gentle flurries; and the Arctic is possessive."

Tommy in all his childish wonder looked back up at his father, "what does that mean?"

"It means she doesn't want others to touch us."

"But why?"

Tommy's father tucked him closer in his embrace. Tommy shivered. "I don't know, Stardust."

"That's dumb!"

"Careful with that thread, Tommy. That's no way to address her." Phil scolded gently, his finger tapping Tommy on the tip of his nose.

Tommy apologized and that was that. Phil pressed another kiss to Tommy's hair and tucked him in for the night. That morning after, the story about the Arctic was all but forgotten in favor of running and playing with Wilbur.

The second lesson he learned was that trust is earned, not given.This rule wasn’t one Tommy had ever really realized the importance of until he was about nine.

It wasn't as though he'd never seen it, with how his brother drew people like Schlatt and Techno to him, or the way his uncles could always reliably be seen by his father's side. But he still was a prince surrounded by people trying to please him.

That is, until he met Tubbo.

Tommy had seen him once before in passing, pointed out to him by Pete who wandered over by his side.

"That one should be interesting," the older man said with a mischievous grin. "He has promise, after all."

He looked up to the man his father considered his friend, salt and pepper hair blowing in the wind and mischievous eyes twinkling with something he couldn't name.

And Tommy was nothing if not curious. More so about the boy his father's old friend called "promising". Unfortunately, Tubbo was tired and Tommy was the last person he wanted to talk to after his long day. So when they finally met, Tommy had much to say to the boy who would spend time with him.

Tommy had imagined how they would play and perhaps prank the members of the castle. They would be fast friends, he decided, inseparable. He stayed still and quiet throughout the ceremony, as his uncles welcomed each recruit, as his father stood and echoed the sentiments; though he felt jittery and couldn't wait for the end.

He was convinced that they would be friends. That they would get past guard and protectee and said as much when they finally had a chance to meet, away from the public eye.

After an alarming amount of time silent, Tubbo had very kindly told him to fuck off, which was a first for the prince to hear, but had made sense, especially after their first meeting had ended in what could be kindly called a disaster.

This was a rule he learned slowly over time. A rule he learned through trial and error. A rule he knew in principle, with the old stories of how his uncles Wisp and Jordan seemed to be everywhere and how they appeared right by his father's side when he needed them, but not a rule he knew very well in principle. It took quite a bit of time, a year and a half in fact when the two finally became friends.

And Tommy had been right.

They were the closest of friends, partners in crime in their own little quest to play pranks on the rest of the castle.

Last, Tommy had learned that sometimes lying was needed. This was a rule that was hard to swallow.

Let it be known that in principle, Tommy hated lying; hated liars and hated their cloying smiles as they weaved untruths into their words. He hated it with a passion, hated how they would lie for their own personal gain. There was no use in it, no mutual benefit in it and no fun in it.

Lying was the coward's way to the hearth. It tied a thread so loosely that one tug at it would cause the whole tapestry to unravel. It was a waste of time and a waste of the precious little warmth they could get.

So this rule was hard to understand. It took far too long for Tommy to understand that sometimes it was necessary. That sometimes for them to live, they must lie to survive.

It was an unspoken truth that as much as the Arctic was as no nonsense they could get, they also loved spinning tales and weaving stories. It was an unspoken truth that as much as those of the Arctic abhorred the flowery language of the tropic, they practiced the same language when speaking to others, hiding in plain sight.

It was an unspoken truth that the Arctic were hypocrites.

Tommy hated liars, hated them with all his being. It was very much a tropic mentality, to twist words when a simple answer could be said instead. (He didn't realize that was only because Phil wanted to be truthful with them). He couldn't understand why Wilbur had to schmooze with the more tropic merchants, plastering a smile and a laugh when he knew that all his brother wanted was to kick them out of the castle. He didn't understand why he had to lie about where Wisp would go at times or about why his brother would tell him he was going on an adventure when he knew he wasn't.

He didn't understand until he saw for himself.

Tommy wasn't naive nor an idiot. There was no place for that in the Arctic. He had survived so long for a reason, no matter how much Phil and Wilbur and the rest of his family had tried to keep him in the dark about it.

Tommy wasn't an idiot.

But he still felt like one when he overheard Wilbur whispering prayers to the stars to keep Tommy safe after an assassination attempt. He still felt like one when Techno told him of the horrors he'd witnessed burning in the tropic. He had felt like one when Schlatt had uncovered a coup in the far edges of the empire.

He felt like one when Tubbo told him how old he truly was, how young he truly was. How he’d been starving. How signing up was his last chance. How his best friend had lied on his papers; forged papers in fact. How his whole family knew in an instant but he was never informed. How his best friend could have died and he would never have gotten the chance to meet him.

The Arctic was filled with hypocrites and Tommy was one of them.

He didn't care that Tubbo had lied. He didn't care that he had to lie. He didn't care how many lies his family had to make.

He didn't care about that.

This third rule was the hardest to swallow. It was the hardest for its necessity. The Arctic was cold and ruthless and its people the same. To protect his friends, his family, lying and untruths were a must to survive.

---

Tommy had learned three rules throughout his life. Some he knew in an instant, others had taken a while to understand.

But he wasn't an idiot.

Tommy is the second son of the Arctic after all, gifted with power that no one could understand and taught by the cold winds and night skies.

[vicecityhq]

██████████████]99% LOADING...SUSPECT INTO THE APD DATABASE...

WITNESS(ES) SAY HE REMINDS THEM OF: autumn, forestpunk, cottagegore, darkest academia . With a slight resemblance to PAKORN THANASRIVANITCHAI of/the ACTOR.

CLICK BELOW TO VIEW ENTIRE FILE.

FULL FILE:

Last Name, First Name: Suwannarat, Briar Alias: Pan (codename for his job), Ari (more of a nickname than an alias) Realm of birth (if earth, nationality): Earth realm, Thailand Age: 29 Date of Birth: November 23rd Gender: Male Preferred Pronouns: He/Him Species: Children of the Twelve - Sagittarius Occupation: Police Detective Sexual Orientation: Homosexual

VISUAL FILE: 

Skin Color: Tanned, burnt orange hue with a smattering of chocolate freckles along his face. He has the same freckles throughout his body, but has bigger white spots along his shoulders, the backs of his ears, and his outer hips. Eye color: Honey Brown Scars: None that have a significant story Piercings: None Tattoos: None Hair color: Dark chocolate brown Abnormalities: Fawn-like ears Horns/ wings/ etc: Small, stumpy antlers that stick just above his hair Transformed form: He does not have a transformation.

PERSONAL FILE:

RELIGIOUS BELIEF: Agnostic, but was raised Buddhist SINS:  greed  /  gluttony  /  sloth  /  lust  /  pride  /  envy  /  wrath VIRTUES: chastity  /  charity  /  diligence  /  humility /  kindness /  patience /  justice KNOWN LANGUAGES: English, Thai, Latin SECRETS: Teen romance can be rough, right? It’s like two colliding whirlwinds of emotions, hormones, and desires. One minute you’re together, the next you’re broken up for no reason. Now when that volatility is coupled with doubts about sexuality, it’s just a disaster waiting to happen. Most people didn’t accidentally melt half of their boyfriend’s face off and cause him to have to undergo grueling, expensive reconstructive surgery that would never quite make things right, though. Briar had told him the gloves had to stay on, but kids were reckless and foolishly believed in their own infallibility so it didn’t take much convincing to risk it all for some skin on skin. Then next thing they knew, Briar was babbling some half brained excuse about a science experiment gone wrong while his boyfriend’s blood curdling screams echoed in his ears. It was believably enough… until a month after - when the swelling from some of his injuries went down - his former lover was able to unintelligibly mutter “Briar did it.” Then suddenly an ‘accident’ turned into a full scale investigation of malicious intent. All Briar could do was tell the truth. He didn’t know which was more difficult - coming clean about his powers or coming out of the closet. But the officer sitting across from him and his distraught mother in the cramped interrogation room didn’t seem particularly disturbed by the confession. His bushy brows only furrowed in disappointment over the entire situation. In the end, Briar was only charged with obstruction of justice for initially lying to police, but the damage to his reputation was irreparable. His mother decided it would be best to relocate, which is how Briar came to finish his last years of high school in Agdoeg.

SAVVIES: hiking, gardening, camping, sightseeing, investigative work, problem solving, riddles and puzzles.

Powers & Abilities: Zodiac Empowerment (Sagittarius: enhanced accuracy, vision, tracking), Zodiac Physiology (see above appearance), Animal (deer) Spirit Summoning, Fthinóporokinesis (Autumn manipulation), Rot Inducement/Decaying Touch, Body Part Erosion, Luck, Evolution Manipulation, Supernatural Bowmanship.

Traits: (positive) Determined, intelligent, neat freak, health conscious, animal lover, usually down to earth, assertive, responsible, (negative) Sarcastic, impatient, untrusting, can have a temper when someone pushes him too far, distant, prioritizes work over everything else.

BACKGROUND CHECK:

Date of Birth: November 23rd

Date of Death: N/A

Crime Record: Most would assume someone has to have a clean slate to enter law enforcement, but that would leave slim pickings in a city like Agdoeg. Briar doesn’t have any outstanding criminal record, but he did have a couple of dings on his juvenile one that were expunged once he became a legal adult and, therefore, they can no longer be found in most databases.

Background/Biography

(tw miscarriage, tw immaculate conception by some strange god XD, tw domestic disputes, tw divorce) 

 Briar’s parents had been struggling to conceive a child for many years, since their prompt marriage right out of secondary school. These sweet hearts had longed to have a cookie cutter life and family, but fate seemed to inhibit that every step of the way. His mother have seven miscarriages due to the condition of an incompetent cervix and was told many times that she may never be able to carry a child to full term. This had been devastating news to the couple, who had no means of affording everything that went into surrogacy and were now facing the reality that they may never be able to have their own children. In spite of these odds, though, they kept trying and praying that whatever Gods that were out there might grant them a miracle.

Their prayers never seemed to be answered, though, and this put an understandable strain on their marriage. It was when his mother was thirty three and beginning to lose hope that she was plagued by a strange dream. She was floating in a vast emptiness, unable to move or even scream. This might have terrified someone else, but she somehow felt safe blanketed in the darkness. It was as if the entire universe lay bare before her, starlight dancing between her outstretched fingertips. Except she didn’t have fingers. She didn’t even have a physical body. There was a sense that she had become a part of something greater or perhaps been broken down into a form akin to what they had all been before the universe collided together in some cosmic firework show to create all that they knew. After what seemed like an eternity if time even passed in that world, the stars began to slowly take shape before her, pulled together by gravity or some other force she would never quite understand. As they converged, the light became so bright that it was nearly blinding, but she was space dust so how could she look away? She remembers trying to rationalize it with that absurd thought as the light shifted around her and the sound of harps and a heavenly chorus interrupted the sacred stillness that she’d been immersed in until then. Heralding the coming of something… or someone. The light came together at the peak of the crescendo, shapeless but she somehow got the sense of a shapely figure wrapped in a gown the longer she stared into it. This motherly figure bent over her and she recalled the warmth as its tendrils of light stroked over her cheek before urging her mouth open. In that moment, she didn’t feel any sense of unease as the being urged her to partake of its light. It traveled past her lips and through every corner of her being, rushing into her fingertips and even the ends of her hair. It was the first time since being in that plane that she had any sense of where she ended and the rest of the world began. The last thing she remembered was that light condensing, forming into its own little star in the lower part of her abdomen and radiating such soothing warmth…

Then she woke up and that was the first time she really had any sense of unease about the strange dream. As someone who had experienced how odd dreams could get during pregnancy, though, she took it as a good sign. Sure enough, when she took a test three weeks later, she was pregnant! Unlike prior, when she’d lost her children around the three month mark, this child was growing strong and without the complications she always worried about. Everything seemed to finally be falling into place. Their marriage and hope in the future was revitalized! And after nine months of perhaps the most physical and emotional pain she had ever been in in her entire life, she was welcoming a beautiful, healthy baby boy into the world and never once thought about the unsettling dream at the start of it all.

Admittedly, Briar was certainly a unique baby. His ears had always been a little odd since birth - bigger than usual - but his parents figured he would just grow into them and found it one of his most endearing traits. However, when he was three years old, that’s when his antlers started coming in. His mother found them one night when she was reading him a bedtime story and running her fingers through his unruly mop of wavy hair. Understandably, she freaked out and brought him to the doctor the next day, who took a biopsy and found the strange growths to primarily be made of calcium. It was unusual, but they decided to simply keep an eye on it since it seemed harmless enough. They only became more noticeable as the years went by, poking through his hair, and Briar recalls the Chinese Buddhists of his neighborhood always telling his mother it was a sign of good fortune. At the time, Briar had always thought it was annoying how they’d always want to lay their hands on him, but he realized as he’d gotten older that they believed the cow was Guanyin’s reincarnated father and the stubby little nubs atop his head made them think he was blessed. But horns and antlers are two different things - one being keratinous and, the other, bone - but he supposed it was easy to confuse them at first glance. Going into adolescence, those things grew like crazy. As if puberty and having velvety twigs growing on your head wasn’t stressful enough, that was when Briar first noticed his parents beginning to drift apart. One night, when coming home late from a friend’s house, he overheard a heated argument between them in the kitchen and his father’s accusations would forever be etched into his mind... “You thought you could trick me forever? I don’t know who knocked you up, but I can’t pretend that thing is my son!” The words drove through him like a knife. Yet after the initial shock subsided, Briar felt for the first time that all the little confusing pieces he’d chosen to overlook his entire life began to make sense. At first his parents had simply assumed he’d taken on more features of his mother, but his father had begun to grow distant as his otherworldly features and powers emerged. The reality was that two humans couldn’t possibly have made a half-deer-whatever-he-was and the only logical explanation was that he wasn’t his father’s at all. He only wished he’d come to that conclusion sooner instead of deluding himself and becoming foolishly attached to the man… The divorce was relatively swift. The judge didn’t even demand a paternity test when his father rebuked having to pay child support. All he had to do was look across the courtroom and he could tell that the speckled, big eared, horned child standing there wasn’t his. It was a dirty, unjust move that besmirched his mother as a disloyal wife and watching her go through that emotional rollercoaster was perhaps the toughest thing of the whole ordeal. Thirteen year old Briar comforted her through the fits of tears and had a strong upper lip when she insisted that she’d never betrayed his father… What bothered him the most was that he couldn’t believe her, but he also couldn’t be angry or blame her either. He had always been closer with his mother and he promised her in those moments of weakness that he would always take care of her. Of course, a single mother with a bad reputation was not an easy gig when trying to support a family. They were forced to move from their smaller town into the teeming metropolis of Bangkok for her to find work and Briar was honestly quite happy with leaving the past behind him. He thrived in the city with its far more diverse population. No one looked at him like he was a freak when he rode the bus or went to buy groceries. It was the first time he felt like he could truly be himself. He had his fair share of rough patches, just like any hormonal teenager, but having otherworldly powers and no one to teach you how to use them certainly caused a few catastrophic, social life obliterating faux pas. His mother thankfully was able to transfer within her company to the Agdoeg branch. It meant not only relocating in the middle of high school for Briar, but moving to an entirely new country. The level of diversity and integration of the supernatural community within Agdoeg was even better than what he’d experienced before. They were in government, owned small businesses… But not all of them were reputable or honest. Briar quickly learned that there were parts of the city that he shouldn’t venture to if he knew what was good for him. However, in spite of the seedier things going on in the underbelly, he was able to find a youth center which helped him to get a better handle on his powers and met his role model who would eventually lead him into his career as a police officer.

INTERVIEW QUESTION (para sample): “Just run us through what happened that night”. - Officer

Briar squeezed his eyes shut tight in an attempt to chase away the spots dancing across his vision from the overbearing fluorescent bulbs that bore down on the table in the center of the interrogation room. It was so intense that he could hear the hum of the electricity going to it and, somehow, he mentally processed that before the weight of the officer’s words. Words he’d uttered himself many times when the roles were flipped. Normally, this was the point a smart suspect would clam up and demand to talk to a lawyer, but clearly this was some kind of joke and he’d just missed the punchline. “Ha. Ha! Very funny.” He gruffed, devoid of amusement as he reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose to ward off the pounding headache settling in like someone was playing the bass drum behind his eyeballs.

The precinct had all been out drinking the night before, celebrating closing a case that had been busting their proverbial balls for the last six months, and there was a point after countless shots of tequila that Briar didn’t even know what was up and what was down, let alone why they were even there anymore. Now, he didn’t doubt that many profoundly stupid things had fallen from his lips and been done, but he hardly would have thought it would be anything illegal. Officers protected their own and someone less inebriated surely would have stopped him before he did anything he’d regret. Trying to wrack his brain, Briar bent to press his forehead to the cool metal of the table with a pitious groan. He remembered waking up in one of the cells to the sound of the door noisily being opened and before he could even get his bearings, two uniformed men were hauling him up and dragging him down the hallway toward the room he sat in now. None of it made a lick of sense.

“I’m afraid this isn’t a joke, Officer Suwannarat. Something very serious happened tonight and we need you to tell us why.”

The brutally stern voice sobered Briar up really quick and he lifted his head up from the table to narrow his eyes on the man that sat across from him, his fawn-like ears flicking in annoyance. He’d worked on the force for many years now and he wasn’t about to be hassled by some nameless rookie who was probably forced in here by his supervising officer, like a lamb being pushed into a cage with a bear. “Listen- no. What is going on?” He demanded with surprising eloquence for someone who’s tongue felt like a dried up sponge in his mouth. Drunk drought be damned. “Am I under arrest? ‘Cause if I am, you better tell me the charges or else I’m walking right out that door and finding your commanding off-”

What was likely going to be a memorable tirade was cut short as the door to the interrogation room swung open and a handful of officers poured into the small space like salmon all fighting to spawn upstream. All Briar could do was stare wide eyed where he was glued to his seat and watch with no small amount of mortification while a cake was set in front of him with messy lettering iced on top that read ‘Congrats on your Promotion! Now you’re their problem.’ Feeling the mixture of rage and bewilderment quickly begin to ebb away, the corners of Briar’s lips twitched into a crooked smile and he shook his head in exasperation. “You’re fucking kidding me. Who’s terrible idea was this?” He demanded with a mirthless laugh as he deflated back into the hard metal chair and glanced around at the familiar faces of the men and women he’d worked with for the past ten years. God, how had he survived their crazy antics and made it this far?

“What do you mean? We had to give you a memorable send-off.” His partner mounted his defense and slunk out from the crowd to give Briar an encouraging clap on the shoulder. “Besides, do you know how hard it was to carry your heavy ass into the cell to pull this off? The least you could do was say thank you. Geez. Too good for us already, Detective?”

Briar should thank him. That much he’d already mentally concluded. But shoving his partner’s smug face into the cake was also a tempting option. Instead, he reached up to gently pat the other’s hand with his gloved one. “Never.” He assured him gently before a chorus of obnoxious coos from the peanut gallery made sure to not only kill the moment but beat it once it was down. Pushing himself up from the chair, Briar swayed unsteadily and shamelessly grappled a couple of his friends for balance on his route to the door. “Ugh. Alright, get me out of this room before I literally end someone and get stuck here forever. That cake better be chocolate, I swear-”

[dinfeanoriel]

Ocean Secrets

Slowly but surely fulfilling these requests! I promise, I am still alive. Thank y’all for being patient with me! 

~~~~~~~~ It was of no surprise that the Links kept secrets. Dark ones, embarrassing ones, normal ones, etc... Secrets they never told and held close to their hearts or secrets they uncovered and openly revealed. Every one of them were made of secrets they kept under lock and key. 

Some nights, a few would share a couple and the Links would discuss or listen. They always accepted them without any judgement. 

How couldn’t they? 

All of them bore secrets they never dared to speak aloud. They had all done and seen things that- to any ordinary person- would seem far-stretched or impossible. They’d experienced unspeakable horrors and unfathomable adventures. They’d committed deeds they often looked back upon in retrospect and regretted. 

Warrior was one of them. However, this little secret of his, wasn’t dark. It wasn’t normal. And it most certainly wasn’t embarrassing. 

It was downright pathetic. 

Incredibly pitiful. 

Highly contemptible. 

Warrior refused to say a word concerning it. He elected not to. Instead, he remained silent. In the back of his mind, he knew this to be a foolish decision, but how could he bring himself to admit this flaw of his? 

He knew it would be wise to at least confide in someone, but who? His sharp, considering, gaze fell upon Sky. Sky would be compassionate and understanding, yes, but Warrior couldn’t approach Sky about this matter. He skipped over the experienced Legend, amorous Wind, and level-headed Four. Wild was a no and Twilight? Warrior and he hardly interacted for reasons the Knight wasn’t sure of. They just...rarely spoke to one another unless there was a need to. 

Hyrule would most likely not be able to aid him but he could lend an ear. Yet, that wasn’t what Warrior wanted or needed. 

He settled on Time. The eldest and wisest of the bunch. 

Out of all eight of his companions, Time would be a likely choice but Warrior was reluctant to broach upon this sensitive and timid subject. 

It was a serious concern. One Warrior had not once voiced before. After all, there had never come a time where he’d had need to, but one day, it would come back to haunt him. 

He wanted to do all in his power to prevent it but how? 

It wasn’t pride that held him back. It wasn’t fear or doubt. Nor was it embarrassment. Warrior had crossed that line long ago when he took up this façade as a chivalrous Knight who was vain and well acquainted with war and bloodshed. 

And that was the crux of the matter. The reason why Warrior couldn’t understand this one weakness of his. The only other person who knew of it was Proxi, but Proxi wasn’t there. She couldn’t help him. 

Even Volga, the Dragon Knight of all people, had learned this terrible secret of his. Much to Warrior’s surprise, he hadn’t made fun of him or made any condescending remarks of this weakness. Rather, he’d been the one to aid Warrior seeing as Warrior was completely unable to help himself. 

He was ashamed. Perhaps that was what caused him to bite his tongue. 

The Captain heaved a sigh, hanging his head and allowing his golden-blonde bangs to curtain his eyes from view. 

He was stuck. Trapped. He had eight others he could turn to, but Warrior wouldn’t. He couldn’t. And so Warrior remained silent and suffered alone. 

~~~~~~~~

Battle. Monsters. Swords. Weapons. 

Warrior hardly broke a sweat when the time came to pick up arms and fight to protect, honor, and defend. He was quick to give orders, shoot strategy after strategy, and come up with impeccable plans that guaranteed the survival of his companions. 

Tactics shot from his tongue in rapid fire and the Links were quick to obey, trusting in his judgement and clever mind. Warrior was cunning. This they knew and recognized almost instantly. Warrior himself knew he was sharp-minded. As awful as it was to admit, he found himself at home on the battlefield. 

He’d dedicated his life to becoming a Knight and trained often. He devoured books discussing strategy and efficient battle plans and was a beast at chess. Back home, he was unparalleled. The chess master. Which came as no surprise. 

Battle, for Warrior, was similar to chess. Position the pieces in tactical places, execute a plan and adapt the strategy depending on the circumstances, and the game was won. He knew the Links’ strengths and their weaknesses. He knew who worked best with who and when to partner up different Links depending on what they needed to get done. 

There was more pressure when it came to reality. 

In chess, the King, Queen, pawns, and knights were all inanimate objects. They weren’t living, breathing, creatures. Yet, here, Warrior relied on his knowledge and skill to keep his friends and companions alive. They looked to him- trusted in him- to keep them safe and guarantee their survival. Yes, some would gain cuts and bruises here and there, a few might sustain minor injuries, but never anything life-threatening. Warrior intended to keep it that way. 

When night would come, Warrior often found himself wondering at all the possibilities and what could have gone wrong. He conjured up new plans and wrote vigorously in the journal he’d brought along, jotting down different tactics or strategies he could use to better their chances at succeeding and securing victory. 

Then the doubts would come to him, crawling forth from the deepest, darkest corners of his mind until Warrior was forced to confront them. 

If the Links knew...If they were ever to find out Warrior’s one weakness, would they still trust in him? 

He found himself severely doubting so. Their trust would be shaken. They might become reluctant to listen to him. 

Warrior was at a loss for what to do. 

A second reason why he withheld this secret. 

When he would fire off a plan, he kept himself as safe as possible. That wasn’t to say he didn’t do the same for the others- he did. He did his best to keep them all safe. He would try to fit himself somewhere near either Time, Twilight, Sky, and Legend. 

He could trust them to defend him. Warrior was the only one who’d managed to waltz off the battlefield unscathed. A feat the Links deemed should be impossible. Wind was positively amazed. 

It needed to stay that way. 

The Knight heaved another sigh and slumped back against his bedroll. Cerulean blues were instinctively drawn to the moon, estimating the time. 

It was late. 

Yet another difficult night for him. 

He blew out a harsh breath and ran a hand down his weary face. 

“I need to tell someone,” He whispered to himself, unafraid of being overheard. Twilight was the one on watch, but he’d headed into the woods earlier and Wolfie returned. The great beast had set himself down beside Wild- as was to be expected. 

The wolf’s ears perked up and his large head pillowed on his paws turned to look at him curiously. 

Warrior could swear that animal could understand every word they would speak. 

Wolfie also bore a strong resemblance to the Twi wolf Midna had accompanying her when she came to his Hyrule’s aid. 

Warrior smiled wanly. He sat up and grabbed his pack, flicking the flap open to return his journal back to where it belonged. 

His ears twitched when they caught the sound of the wolf standing and coming over. The metal chain clinked quietly as he walked. Wind had wondered about it, voicing the question they were all undoubtedly wondering. Time and Wind claimed the wolf had had the chain when they first met the beast. 

Warrior looked up and almost started when he came face-to-face with intelligent blues. Wolfie tilted his head to the side, making a soft sound as if inquiring as to what had Warrior so troubled. 

But, surely, Warrior was just imagining things. There was no way animals could be this intelligent. Then again… Agitha’s butterfly friend had led them to where they’d needed to go during his adventure. A clever little insect. 

He also couldn’t shake the nagging sensation that this wolf was more than just a wolf. It was no ordinary beast. Wolves didn’t typically befriend Hylians or willingly protect them from harm. 

“Go back to Wild, Wolfie,” Warrior murmured quietly, glancing down and placing his pack to the side, “He tends to sleep better when you’re with him.” He tiredly raked a hand through his hair, sleep clinging heavily to his lashes. 

He wanted to give in to the temptation to sleep, but Warrior couldn’t bring himself to stop thinking of everything that could go wrong if he doesn’t tell someone about this matter. 

“Stop,” He harshly told himself, startling the wolf briefly, “Sorry, sorry. I was talking to myself. Midnight thoughts. Terrible things.” He found himself explaining before looking towards Time for a couple of seconds. “I really should tell someone...Don’t you think?” He cast Wolfie an uncertain look, then made a face, “I don’t even know why I’m asking you. It isn’t as if I need any prompting or validation but...as a soldier, a Knight and Captain, I know the dangers. I recognize all that can go wrong but I can’t bring myself to say anything.” 

He slumped forward, his elbow digging into his knee and chin resting on his hand. His fingers were curled as Warrior scowled to himself. Wolfie couldn’t have been any more confused. 

He nudged Warrior’s cheek with his nose, emitting a quiet whine of concern. 

Strangely enough, Warrior could understand what he was saying. 

“There’s no need to be worried, Wolfie,” He murmured, “It’s nothing bad...Although…” He frowned steeply. 

It is something that could take a turn for the worse should it happen at an inopportune moment or unprecedented time… 

He groaned and cradled his head, fingers digging into his hair. 

“I hate this...I’m so used to being the one telling others what to do and giving advice...” He peeked through his fingers into the fire with sorrow and a tinge of nostalgia, “I always had Lydia, Juno, or Veronica to turn to if I needed help. They knew what to say, what to do, and what I needed. Why is it that I can help others...but I can’t even help myself?” 

He met Wolfie’s eyes with his troubled ones as if the wolf bore all the answers he needed. 

Wolfie released a puff of air, the warmth caressing Warrior’s cheek before dissipating from the coolness of the night. The beast could only curl up near Warrior, giving him comfort from his presence alone. 

Warrior managed a weak grin and tried to settle back into his bedroll. He tugged his blanket up and over his shoulders. 

“Thanks, Wolfie, but I think I’ll be fine.” He assured the beast, “Wild has greater need of you than I do.” 

Clearly, from the look Wolfie pinned him with, he disagreed. 

The one-eyed, stern, glare made Warrior instinctively shut his mouth but it also nagged at him. That look was so alike to the brooding stare Time would often give Legend, Wind, or himself. 

How was that even possible? 

~~~~~~~~

The next day, Warrior awoke somewhat later than usual. In fact, he was normally the first to wake but this morning, it was Time. 

Apparently, this was a sign to Time that something wasn’t quite right. The Old Man had caught onto the fact that Warrior had appeared somewhat distracted these past few days and would often slip deep into thought for hours on end. 

Warrior didn’t pay him too much attention and immediately went about packing his things and waking Wind. 

Twilight returned shortly afterwards. He moved past Warrior, pausing briefly and looking to him as if analyzing him. 

Warrior quirked an eyebrow at him, arms full of blankets, but Twilight only grunted and went straight to Time. 

Warrior saw them in the corner of his eye speaking in low tones with Time discreetly looking his way at certain points in whatever conversation they were holding. When he would turn his back, the hairs on the back of his neck would rise and he knew either Twilight or Time- maybe even both- were looking at him. 

He didn’t realize waking up later in the morning was such a great cause for concern. 

He brushed the thought aside for now. 

He had been greatly fatigued. Even now, weariness seeped deep into his very bones and his lashes were still heavy. He found himself almost dozing off during breakfast. At one point, he was talking to Wind but trailed off in the middle of the sentence and his head bobbed. 

If it hadn’t been for Wind nudging him sharply in the side, Warrior was certain he might have fallen asleep with his soup cradled in his lap. 

It was amazing, Warrior figured, how physically drained he could become from doing nothing but thinking. 

It was an arduous activity at times. 

Breakfast was a quiet and almost sordid affair. Warrior didn’t miss the odd looks he was given from the others. His uncharacteristic silence apparently unnerved them. He would have forced himself to speak, said a couple things, but Warrior didn’t care enough to try and appease them. 

Legend was eyeing him closely. As was Time. 

Warrior determined to ignore them. They were taking his uncharacteristic behavior far more seriously than they should. 

Once he finished his soup, Warrior decided enough was enough. If he needed to keep up the charade, then so be it. He didn’t want them to think something was seriously wrong and he very much disliked having so many eyes on him. 

“Alright everyone,” He began, drawing himself to his feet and returning the bowl to Wild, “Hurry up and finish. We have a lot of ground to cover.” 

Whatever happened next was a blur for Warrior. 

They were ambushed again later that day, much to Warrior’s annoyance. These bokoblins, moblins, and lizalfos were grating on his nerves! Again, Warrior fired order after order and called out techniques that the Links were quick to follow. 

Once through, Time decided they would camp somewhere nearby. 

Warrior found this a little odd. They still had four hours left before the sun would begin to set, but he supposed the Old Man had to have his reasons. 

Wind and Four did look especially exhausted. Sky was, as expected, drowsy and could barely keep his eyes open. 

They had been walking a great deal for the past week. 

As the night drew near, the moon making her appearance in the sky after the sun vanished, Warrior went to refill his water pouch and to wash his scarf. The fabric had been stained by monsters’ blood and Warrior couldn’t stand it. 

He traversed beneath the trees looming o’er him, unwrapping the scarf from around his neck and grimacing at the amount of blood. 

He never had an issue with how much blood was spilt during battle and war. He’d seen gruesome sights none could ever come close to imagining. The carnage and body count? He’d grown used to it. Almost desensitized. 

However…

He still had one, itty-bitty, problem. 

Warrior’s eyes lit up when he’d found a small stream not too far from the encampment. He knelt immediately and filled his water pouch first before turning to his scarf. The clear water drenched the fabric, the trickling of the stream filling Warrior’s ears and helping him to relax and lose the tension that had been gradually building up within him. 

The melody was a soothing one. 

But the peace was soon to be broken. 

“Agh!” Warrior flicked his hand up when a sharp, stinging sensation suddenly exploded in his palm. He whipped it up, turning his hand over…

His heart sunk deep into the pit of his stomach at the nauseating sight that greeted him. Panic slowly began to settle and Warrior desperately fought against it. 

There was blood. 

He’d somehow managed to cut his hand on a sharp stone. Just his blasted luck. 

Warrior swallowed thickly, immediately looking away. 

Already, he could feel the effects taking place. 

His head was growing light. His stomach was churning. His body felt faint. 

Warrior squeezed his eyes shut, clenching his fists tightly and ignoring the short, bursts of pain this movement provoked. 

Why? Why now? Why him? 

He felt sick. Severely ill and nauseous. 

How was it that he could handle seeing others’ blood but not his own? Anytime he cut himself, whether it be incredibly small or large, if he saw his own blood seeping through, Warrior would come close to fainting. 

Purposefully keeping his eyes fixed on some point straight ahead, Warrior dipped his hand into the stream, willing the water to wash away any and all traces of blood. 

He couldn’t afford for his weakness to get to him. Not now. Not ever. 

He suppressed the urge to vomit, but his head was still reeling and his stomach uncomfortably queasy. 

After a few, especially long, minutes, Warrior finally conjured up the courage needed to take his hand out of the water and turn it over. 

It took longer to muster up the courage to look quickly and see whether or not the blood was gone. 

It isn’t even that bad of a cut, Link! He tried telling himself, hating this weakness of his. But it was so ingrained in him and imbued in his mind that he couldn’t overcome it. He’d always had someone to care for his wounds but here, now, he didn’t. 

He didn’t know why it affected him so strongly, seeing his own life-force leaking from small slivers when he knew it wasn’t going to kill him. 

Volga had never judged him for this. Neither had Proxi. The fairy would often tell Warrior to close his eyes while she bandaged the hurt or healed it as best she could. 

Normally, the adrenaline kept him preoccupied him and prevented him from focusing on his wounds until the battle had drawn to an end. 

Warrior could often remember scraping his hands and knees as a child and it was Lydia, Juno, or Veronica who would bind the hurts to hide them from view. 

Why it made him so sick and faint to see blood was beyond him. And it wasn’t just any blood. Monsters he could handle. The wounded soldiers in the garrison and at Hyrule Castle? Those lying dead on the fields? Warrior could stomach the ghastly sights. 

His own blood? 

It was his downfall. 

Warrior released a shuddery breath and hurriedly glimpsed at his hand. 

Nope. 

There was still blood. 

He groaned when his stomach revolted and the world spun worse than before. He leaned forward, touching his forehead to the ground and closing his eyes. 

He hated this with a passion. How could he protect others, defend them, and fight when he was so easily disarmed by the sight of his own blood? 

This was why he was so hesitant to tell someone. Anyone. 

Warrior wasn’t sure what happened afterwards. The next thing he knew, he was lying on the ground and there was a worried Wild hovering over him. A hand was shaking his shoulder, Wild’s voice calling his name in concern. 

He sounded so far away even though he was knelt down beside him. 

“Warrior? Warrior!” Wild appraised him quickly, but there was no obvious sign of injury. “Where are you hurt, Warrior?” 

The Knight’s mind was muddled, his stomach still protesting. 

“‘M fine…” He mumbled, drowsily battering away Wild’s hands. The Hero fixed him with a deadpan look. 

“You’re fine?” He challenged Warrior, gesturing to him. The Knight cringed. “You’re fine? I found you lying unconscious on the ground by the stream, Warrior! I don’t think that tells me that you’re fine! If anything, it tells me that you are anything but fine!” He sternly eyed the Knight, “I thought you’d been attacked or worse-” Guilt slammed in Warrior at Wild’s admittance. 

“Now, tell me what’s wrong.” The younger teen commanded. 

Tell him what was wrong..? 

Ha… If only he could. 

“I’m just...tired...I suppose.” It was a lame excuse, but Warrior knew he could play it off. “Haven’t been sleeping well...You can ask that wolf of yours if you don’t believe me.” 

Wild pursed his lips tightly together. 

Warrior looked pale. Sheet white. The shadows beneath his eyes were more pronounced due to the lack of color in his face. Weary cerulean blues met his own, and Wild noted the somewhat glazed tinge they had taken on. 

He moved drowsily, his limbs heavy with what Wild interpreted as lethargy. 

“You should have said something earlier, Warrior,” Wild gently chided, heaving a sigh. The tension in his shoulders and back lessened now that he knew Warrior was unhurt. “Imagine if this had happened during battle? Or a worse time. What then?” 

Warrior let him scold him. It was true, he knew. He’d already thought about everything Wild was saying and his guilt intensified. 

“Sorry…” 

Wild paused, eyes flicking up to Warrior’s contrite and guilt-ridden face. He sighed. 

“Just...let us know next time, Warrior. We need you.” 

I know… 

“Hey, Wild, you find him yet?” 

Warrior tensed upon hearing Legend’s voice floating along the breeze. From the direction it had come from, Warrior knew Legend had emerged from the woods behind them. 

Wild lifted his head and turned to face the red and gold-clad Hero who’d paused on the edge of the trees, taking in the sight that greeted him. Warrior crumpled on the ground and Wild kneeling beside him. 

Concern crossed his expression before it vanished. 

“What’s wrong?” Legend immediately demanded to know, stalking over. 

Warrior groaned. 

It was bad enough Wild had found him. Now Legend? 

He wished the earth could swallow him whole. Wild might have easily passed off his collapse as being due to fatigue, but Legend? Legend wouldn’t be so easily convinced. 

“He’s fine,” Wild said as soon as Legend reached them, “He just needs plenty of rest. I don’t think we’ll be moving out tomorrow as Time originally planned.” He shifted and stood, “Stay with him for a minute, would you? I’m going to grab my pack.” 

Legend crouched down in the space Wild had vacated seconds before, hands dangling from his knees as he appraised Warrior. 

Warrior tiredly met his gaze. 

Legend’s eyes narrowed and Warrior cursed his bad luck. 

“You might have been able to play the tired-card with Wild, Warrior, but not with me.” Blunt and straight to the point. No beating around the bush. 

Warrior hadn’t expected less of Legend. 

But Warrior refused to tell Legend what had been the cause of his collapse. 

“You were injured, weren’t you?” 

Nope. 

But Warrior had instinctively moved his cut hand when Legend asked the question, and the Hero had caught the movement. Immediately, his arm snapped out and Warrior’s hand was captured in Legend’s own. 

The snarky Hero turned it over and Warrior immediately shut his eyes, turning his face away. He couldn’t risk seeing the cut again. 

Apparently, Legend had seen this also. 

He quirked an eyebrow, “Can’t handle a little blood, Warr-” 

He cut off almost as soon as he began, thoughts racing through his mind as he put two and two together. 

Warrior wanted to disappear. 

“You can’t…” Legend realized, his voice the ghost of a whisper,. “You can’t handle seeing blood.” 

“Just my own.” Warrior admitted quietly, tugging his hand free and curling it close to him. He refused to look Legend’s way. “I don’t know why it affects me so strongly...but I can’t…” 

And there was the shame. That unconventional, unpleasant, and wretched feeling churning in the pit of his stomach. 

Legend said nothing. 

The silence was deafening for Warrior. He wanted to wither and die. To vanish. For the ground to open up and engulf him whole.

It was such a silly thing. So utterly stupid. 

As a child, Warrior grew up wondering how his sisters could rely on him to protect them and their household when he couldn’t deal with the sight of his own blood. How could they believe in him? How could they have allowed him to go and join the Knights Academy and train when they knew of this weakness of his? 

Though his sisters would have struck him if he dared call it weakness. 

They were always so understanding. Warrior didn’t know how to feel. Guilty? Horrified? 

After all...Trauma was not to be taken lightly. An experience Warrior had had in his childhood he’d not so easily forgotten. A scarring incident he’d forever remember. How couldn’t he? 

“Idiot,” Warrior heard Legend grumble and his hand was pulled away. He looked when Legend dropped his pack next to him and plopped down on the ground. “You can’t treat this by yourself.” 

The red-clad Hero glanced up at him when Warrior continued to stare at him and scowled, “What? We’ve got to bandage your hand, don’t we? Can’t have you fainting again. I don’t want to be lugging your heavy self all the way back to camp.” 

But there was no bite to his words. No actual sarcasm. 

Warrior stared then swallowed and lowered his gaze. 

“...thanks…” 

A grunt was his only reply.

~~~~~~~~

For the next few days, Warrior was tense. He lay waiting. 

For what, He wasn’t sure. Legend didn’t treat him any differently. He poked fun at him and directed scathing remarks his way. Warrior retorted as usual, but with less fire. The barbed words he threw back lacked their usual poisonous sting. 

The Knight overheard some of them inquire of it that night when they’d settled for camp. He’d chosen to retire early after dinner. 

“Is Warrior okay?” Wind quietly asked. 

Warrior felt a pang in his heart. How would he feel? Knowing Warrior had kept such an important secret to himself? 

“He has been acting strangely.” Wild piped up, quiet and thoughtful. “He didn’t even eat tonight.” For which the Captain felt awful, but he couldn’t stomach food. 

“Maybe he’s falling ill?” Sky suggested, and Warrior sensed a concerned glance being tossed his way. 

“No,” Twilight shook his head, “There’s more to it than that.” 

“Off days, perhaps.” Four shrugged, lifting a stick in the air, “We all have those.” 

“That doesn’t fit either.” Hyrule denied. 

“Nah,” Legend waved them off, much to Warrior’s surprise. “You guys worry too much. He’s fine.” 

“What do you mean, fine? Have you seen him?” Wind gestured Warrior’s way. 

Legend rolled his eyes. “He’s fine. Just exhausted. He’s been doing triple the work because of those monsters. It’s taking its toll on him.” 

The Links, thankfully, left it at that. 

Hours passed since then… 

Warrior still couldn’t sleep. It was getting harder. He thought it would be simple. Travel with this group and never reveal the truth. They would part ways and they would only remember “Warrior,” The Hero. 

With a frustrated sigh, he sat up and saw that Legend was on watch. The snarky Hero turned to glance at him. 

“Just out of curiosity, how long were you planning to keep it secret?” He asked when Warrior rose to his feet and moved to walk past and take a moment to clear his head. The Captain paused and considered his question. 

“Answer me this,” He returned, “Why do you treat me no differently?” 

Legend waved a hand in the air with a scoff, “Doesn’t matter to me.” Understanding dawned on him and he snapped his head up, “You were never going to tell us.” 

“So you do have a brain,” Warrior gruffly huffed. Legend allowed the jab to slide. 

“And if you hadn’t and something happened?” He quirked an eyebrow. 

“Nothing’s happened so far.” 

“That argument is weak and you know it.” 

Warrior bristled. He knew Legend spoke the truth, and that was what made it worse. 

“I didn’t plan for this.” He moved antsily, agitated, “Growing up was hard enough. Getting slapped with the title ‘Hero’ after Hyrule failed to protect herself? Convenient for the kingdom, perhaps, but for me?” He snarled, “What else was I supposed to do? Leave those idiots to fend for themselves?” He scoffed sardonically, “No. I had to take this upon myself because it was what I was supposed to do. The mantle I was born to bear. I had to become who Hyrule wanted me to be otherwise we were doomed to die- and I do so apologize, but I wasn’t quite ready to die.” 

Legend just listened. He never spoke a word. He sat there, eyes on Warrior, and listened. 

Something Warrior needed, but hadn’t gotten. 

“I was constantly compared to him. After all, I am of his li-” Warrior’s mind slammed to a halt, his mouth snapping shut with a click. He battled within himself, quickly conceding defeat, and deflated. “It never affected him...so why should it affect me? Hyrule would never have trusted in me. Never would have believed me capable of protecting her and her people.” 

He’d almost revealed the truth. And that would have been a terrible thing to do. 

“Doesn’t matter. I was hoping to make it through this adventure and part ways without anyone finding out.” He sighed heavily, “I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that things don’t quite work the way I want them to.” 

When do they ever? They were Links. Heroes. Their lives weren’t quite their own. 

“This could get you killed.”

Warrior rolled his eyes and smiled wanly, “Anything can get you killed. What’s it matter?” 

Legend shrugged. He couldn’t disagree with the point Warrior had made. “It’s up to you whether you tell them or not.” His eyes didn’t leave those of Warrior’s, striving to drive his point across. 

“We all have secrets. Dark ones we don’t share. This one is mine.” Warrior looked to him and Legend shrugged again.  

“It’s not my place to tell. And I wouldn’t.” 

But Legend had other, creative and resourceful ways of not telling but telling. 

When Warrior left the campsite, he didn’t see Legend smiling to himself in a triumphant manner, or how Time cracked open his eye with a frown as the Knight disappeared from view. 

This could get you killed. 

What had Legend meant? What did their entire vague conversation allude to? 

Anything can get you killed. What does it matter? 

And what had Warrior meant by those words?

[iliketowrite1996]

Mistakes, Mismatches and Near Misses 3

TRIGGER WARNINGS AND THEMES- Heartache, burdens, jealousy secret-keeping, lying

Mistakes-

Shuri Udaku is very, very, very rarely wrong about many things. She knows what checmicals mixed with what toher chemicals will have what reactions. She knows that Peter Paker makes an excellent +lab parnet bercause heis helpful and supoortive, not controlling and demeaning. She knows that her cousin Erik would never in a million years let her live it down if she found out about her secret boy band obsession. Yes, Shuri Udaku is well-versed, and knows many a great things about many people and objects and such,.

She knows that Erik has a soft spot for Ramonda. He’s learning to at least tolerate T’Challa, and he likes her, but Auntie Ramonda has his whole heart. The fact that she was willing to make macaroni and cheese on his bitthday- something she’s never made before an had to have Suri look up- really softened up a spot for ehr in Erik’s otherwise pretty cold heart.

She knows that Ramonda considers Erik as another son, and you a another daughter. And Ramonda loves her children so, so much. They are her light, in a way- lightnening up even the darkest moments, such as losing her husband so suddenly.

Shuri knows that she’s pretty much T’Challa’s favorite person. And, not that she’d enver admit, he’s hers. She remebers, how ever vaguely, following him around the palace. Sitting on his lap during fabily events. Proudly showing off every invention, drawing, plan that she’d ever came up with, ready for his approval or ideas.

Shuri is certain of many, many things.

That she is smart, beautiful, and strong enough to stand on her own, but she likes the support behind her and all around her.

That you were too good for that last guy that you dated,a nd that you deserved better.

Yes. She is quite certain of many things.

But, sometimes, life does manage to throw her a curve ball.

Such as when T’Challa confessed that he was in love again, that she already knew the girl, that he’d never been so happy to finally be with this person in the way that he was mean to…

But… only… that person wasn’t you.

Isn’t you, she should say.

It’s Nakia.

Nakia, who is currently showing off her brand new engagment ring as T’Chalala stands by her side, hand on her waist and eyes gleaming and smiling proudly.

But maybe she should explain why she’s so surprised it’s not you standing there in Nakia’s coveted spot, ebxt to the king of Wakanda himself.

Shuri may not be the most emotional person, but she knows her brother. Or, well, she thoguth she did.

She culd see his attraction for you. The hushed whispers and gigglles, lunch dates and such. The way he looked at you. How could she not have thought that he had fallen for you?

And you were no better. You were a bit more subtle in your flirtaiton than T’Challa was, but it was still there.

And, okay, yes. She’d overheard your covnersation where the two fo you agreed to be friendly, but see where it goes. And she’d thoguht it ws going so well- flowers, complimment, discssions where the norm between the two of you, and it finally seemed that T’Challa was on to someone else that wasn’t, well… Nakia.

But she sees that she was wrong. She was oh, so wrong.

Shuri can deal with being wrong. She’s intelligent, but not all kowing. She knows this. She can forgive herself for the mistake…

But not the mismatch.

Because if she never would have hatched that plan to get the two of you together, you never would have had had your heart broken. You wouldntbe standing next to the table with your glass of champagne, staringa t the happy couple a\s everyone congratulates them.

Shuri sets her cup of water down, gliding over to you, abnormally timid for her.

‘’Hey,’’ you smile at your psuedo-yuonge-sister as she approaches you, ‘’What’s up?

‘’I’m sorry. I-I… I am sos oarry. Had I known,’’ she motions over to T’Challa and Shuri, ‘’I never would have… I-’’

‘’Shuri,’’ you set your glass on the table, taking both of her hands in yuors, ‘’None of this in your fault. T’Challa and I are adults, and things simply didn’t work out. I don’t want you blaming yourself for any of this.’’

‘’I know that, but… still. If I had never…’’

‘’Shuri, it was a mistake. We all made it. Now, I know you think that the world revolves around you, but that does not mean that you need to carry the weight of it on your houlders.’’

Shuri smiles at your joke, the first real smile since the news of the engagment brokw.

‘’You are one of a kind.’’

‘’I know,’’ you nudge her gently, ‘’Now go talk to your brother. Congratulate him, Shuri.’’

Shuri nods then, skipping off to speak to her brtoher and his fiancee’.

You’re rihgt. She shouldn’t be carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders.

Because it already feels like you are.

Mismatches

‘’To be fair, you’re too coolf or T,’’ Erik nods toward where T’Challa and Nakia are speaking to M’Baku and his wife.

‘’You’re just sayingt hat becasue you don’t like him,;’’ you roll your eyes.

‘’I’m saying it because it’s true,’’ Erik mends, looking to where M’Baku, Nakia, and T’Challa are all laughing at somethign that M’Baku’s wife said, ‘’Something fishy is going on here.’’

‘’Nothing fishy is going on here, Erik. T’Challa is royalty, and I’m not. He loves Nakia, and I’m not here. We were jut friends. And even though I thought things could have worked out, they didn’t,’’y ou shrug, struglging tos eem nonchalant about the matter.

‘’Whatever you say,’’ Erik sighs, understanding that you no longer wish to discuss this, ‘’But, hey… you’re not as annoying as him. So if you need to talk, I am here for you.’’

‘’Thanks, Erik. I really appreciate that,’’ you smile at him, ‘’Now, go flirt wiht that girl over there. Tony Stark’s imprentice. The girl has been looking at you all night.’’

You adn Erik both glance to where Tony is standing wiht his own fiancee’ and his imprenticce, Monique, who is flipping her box braids over her shoulders.

‘’Don’t mind if I do,’’ he smirks before sliding off to talk to her.

And once again, you’re left alone to look at the couple.

If acceptance really is a road- it is- then it can bea bumpy road. Because you’re looking at T’Challa with his perfect mathc, while you were nithing but a mismatch. And it’s fine. It is. Not everything is meant ot turn out the way we want them to, and that’s fine.

That doesn’t stop it from hurting.

So you decide to say good ngiht to Shuri, Ramonda, and Erik before retreating to your quarters for the night.

There’ you tuck away the secret that you hope only you, Eirk and SHuri know- you are so incredibly in lvoe with T’Challa Udaku, for so menay reasons.

But, little did you know, that he watched you go, sadness laced into the seams of hisown heart.

Because T’Challa has a secret, too.

And only time will reveal what that is.

@ashanti-notthesinger @destinio1 @afraiddreamingandloving @starsshines-blog @airis-paris14 @syreanne @chaneajoyyy @90sinspiredgirl @shemiahsmelanin @zillmonger @skysynclair19 @marvelpotterlove @constantlycravingtheunknown @imaginewhoever @wakanda-inspired @pocmarvelworks @theunsweetenedtruth @dreampovx @adrioola21 @supremethunda @thisiskayesworld @mcusocialimagines @priya212  @kumkaniudaku  @airis-paris14 @alexundefined @fonville-designs   @mellowjellow6 @omg-itsnadi @maddiestudentwritergaines @dadinhas-heat @jozigrrl @kaykay0829 @nerd-lovely @babygotl01292003 @oceanscorazon @id-rather-be-an-outsider er @determinednot2fall

DISCLAIMERS- I do not own any Marvel Characters or their fictional worlds, countries, planets, galacxies, cities, etc

[oktorpg]

Breaking free from the shackles - Storyline 4 - Together

"When there is a fire alight in your soul… You know it’s time to pay attention!"

= Raven =

‘What the Hells is going on here Rey?’ #Harper had followed me into the elevator as the doors started to close. Out of nowhere there was a hand coming between the doors to stop them from closing and #Luna jolted in next to us.

#Harper and she were exchanging looks but they didn’t say a word to me as the lift started to move. My glance remained on the numbers above the door, and I only then realised that my hands were shaking.

“Stop it.” I whispered to myself clasping them together. The numbers felt as though they were moving slower until out of the side of my eye, I saw her leaning on the metal wall.

‘You know this is a waste of your time Raven, Sinclair has no idea what it is like to live in pain. He doesn’t know just how much you want to Spacewalk one last time.’ I shook my head looking ahead at the doors willing them to open. I wasn’t going to allow #Becca to hijack my mind and my emotions again. I was Raven Reyes, I didn’t give up without a fight. And yet that was exactly what I’d done.

The feel of a hand on my shoulder yanked me out of my own mind. ‘Dula op Yu gaf bilaik Disha nau?’ ( Do you need to do this now? ) The soft voice of #Luna asked. When I gazed over to #Harper her brow was pulled together and she was glancing between the two of us. ‘Chit ste Disha hashta?’ ( What is this about? ). She continued to ask.

Biting down on my lip I knew I needed to tell them the idea, the plan. I would need some help if it were to be possible at all. For this plan to work.. But I really didn’t want for anybody’s hopes to be up just for them to be shattered.

“I need you both to promise, not to get your hopes up. And Not to get too invested in the idea.” I turned to face the two of them now. “I mean it!” My voice stern and I wasn’t sure what it was they saw in my eyes, maybe it was the fire I felt alight inside my soul. The fight that was burning bright, with the willingness not to give up. But it had the two of them gesturing their understanding.

The doors opened behind me and the robotic voice rang in our ears. ‘Level 9 – Repairs’.

Stepping back out of the elevator without looking, my eyes still on the two girls with me.

“I believe, I may have a way to fix Abby and my brain melt! I mean—” Turning to walk into the long corridor as the lights slowly started to flicker on with each step I took.

“—Who wants to be Da Vinci, Einstein and Mozart… When you know you are so much better!”

( Music: Titanium – David Guetta )

= John =

The lab was tense since they... well, I guess 𝙬𝙚, melted Baylis in the radiation chamber. Emori was keeping her distance from the group and I was glad. If the test had worked I'd have encouraged her to stay close to them, pitch in... Make them see how useful she could be to us. But I was hoping out of sight meant out of mind. The lab was full of people and yet eerily quiet, the hum of the vents and machines was too reminiscent of the Ark.

So, I drowned it out with headphones. The music was punctuated only by the occasional sigh of frustration from Abby or the clatter of whatever tool she slammed down as a sign of the same.

Doc Griffin really wasn't looking good, her poker face wasn't nearly as convincing as Raven's. And hers was beginning to fade, too.

I had just watched her disappear into the lifts with the sniper and the nightblood... The number displayed above the door froze on nine. Repairs. What was she doing? And why would she take Harper and the most tech-challenged person in the group? She must be either building or fixing something. But I could clearly see #Monty's legs sticking out from underneath the Radiation chamber. From snippets that I had overheard; he was tweaking the decontamination gear so they could safely vent the radiation faster and get the test subject out in a hurry, next time something went wrong... though we still had no idea who was going to be next. Or even if there would be a next time.

Curiosity was getting the best of me, so I headed to the room Raven had vanished into earlier, to take a look at what she had been up to. There were plans and parts everywhere... she was building some kind of suit. I scoffed a little. Was it even possible? Too many thoughts came to mind.

Was it possible to build a suit that could withstand the levels of radiation coming our way? The ones we had would work; for now. But even those wouldn't work past a certain level. "If anyone can do it Reyes can." I muttered to myself. One thing I did know for sure; there was nothing she could build that a person could survive the Death wave in. That was going to incinerate anything in its path.

( Music: Come Around · Papa Roach )

= Raven =

‘Raven Reyes, you have come up with some out there plans to date. But this is suicide. It’s the craziest idea I think I’ve heard you say! It will never work!’ #Harper was stood with her hands on her hips as I searched for parts and threw them at her and #Luna to fill the boxes I’d found and placed behind them.

“Now you just sound like Becca—” Both the girls exchanged looks and I quickly added. “—You know if she were alive and here, I can imagine she’d say the same thing.” A quick save, but I saw the way #Luna’s eyes never left me. She was deep in thought and I could guess contemplating if my brain had passed Go and was not allowed to collect the $200!

‘Just explain it to us once more?’ This time it was #Luna asking me.

I turned away from them and started digging for some more parts. Another plus side of the code melting my brain was the inventory on the island. I knew where most of what I needed was. It was just the case of finding it now.

“Really it’s not that hard. I cannot believe I didn’t think of it before.” Really how had it taken #Sinclair shaking me out of the mind hole #Becca had me in to see it?

“I plan on using an electromagnetic pulse to get the code that A.L.I.E. has left behind in my head.” I told them with full confidence.

‘And explain how you plan on doing this?’ #Harper asked this time catching the wires I was throwing towards her.

“It Really is Simple. It is the same as shutting down a computer by pulling the plug." I laughed and tapped my head. “Shut this down, reboot it and Boom 𝘽𝙤𝙤𝙢! I am code free.”

They exchanged those looks again that they had in the elevator. They weren’t sold on the idea right now, but in time they would see.

‘And this so-called Shutdown 𝙎𝙝𝙪𝙩𝙙𝙤𝙬𝙣 you keep talking about. You know you are a human and not a computer, right? What if you don’t come back from this one Raven?’ #Harper was anxious, anybody with two eyes could see it.

“Harper just have some faith in me. You know I can do it. I just need to calibrate the finer points of the plan that’s all.” Stepping over the boxes between us I made my way back over to them. “ Yu don bida wich raun Ai” ( Have some trust in me. ).

= John =

I left everything as I found is she wouldn’t think I was snooping… which I was, but only a in vague way. I wasn’t trying to ferret out her darkest secrets. It was just weird not being with her after hardly leaving her side for…

I stopped and thought about it. How long had it been? Less than a week… more than 2 days. “Fuck.” I muttered to myself. Was that really it? I felt like I’d been watching over her for so much longer… had it only been a few days? I rubbed my forehead and dragged it down over my face. This place was totally messing with my head! Like the way, the council up the productivity in the labour stations by extending artificial daylight hours; though they never actually admitted to it.

I headed back out of the office and leaned over the rail, looking down on the main lab. #Monty was still tinkering and #Jackson head come down and was talking to him. I didn’t bother to take out the headphones to hear them. I could tell by the way #Green’s mouth was moving that he was speaking nerd.

The display above the lift was still set at nine.

Across the lab; on the same level as me, Abby was hunched over a microscope and looking older and more tired by the second. Kane was still brooding somewhere. I thought about the bombshell that he had a daughter in Polis. I was tempted to radio Octavia and just double-check who else was there to see if it could confirm any of my suspicions. But for all I knew she was fighting already; or… you know, dead. I shook my head and gripped the railing, chuckling darkly to myself. No, the #Blake girl was harder to kill than I was.

Still nine. What was she doing?

‘Murphy!’ The muffled yell penetrated the music blasting into my ears. I pulled the headphones out and looked down at #Monty. ‘I’ve been calling you for ages!’ He griped with a shrug of his shoulders.

“What do you want #Green!?” I huffed.

‘I need an extra pair of hands down here.’ “I’m not an engineer… or a mechanic.” I huffed harder.

‘Like I said, I just need a pair of hands… no special skills required.’ He called up with a smirk.

(Music: Trying Not to Love You · Nickelback )

= Raven =

‘Ku , ku Oso dula op wich Yu. Nau chit ste nes?’ ( Fine, fine we do trust you. Now what is next? ) #Luna asked moving the boxes to pile them up above each other. As she watched #Harper and I stood beside the door now.

“We need to find something to pull all this stuff together. We can’t keep walking back and forth.” Rubbing the side of my neck I shrugged out of my jacket and set it to the side.

‘Wait I saw a trolley outside one of the storage rooms back the way we came. I’ll be right back.’ #Harper half shouted on her way out of the door and back up the corridor.

‘She has a lot of faith in you Raven, but she is also frightened to lose another person. Her and Jasper were clearly hit hard before they managed to come here. But no matter how much she tries to forget, what is happening to you can not be forgotten so easily.’ The Zen master had once again picked up on the unsaid words in #Harpers eyes. I’d seen them too; however, I wasn’t in a place to acknowledge such a thing right now.

“I didn’t want to get all of you the plan until I knew it would work, what is the point in getting everybody’s hopes up, only to watch them fail again? How would it impact Clarke or Abby if they thought I had a way to save Doc and then it didn’t work out?”

Abby had been more of a mother to me than my own mother. And to see her the way she was right now was killing me slowly, more so than the brain melt was.

‘Here! See I told you I saw this.’ #Harper pushed the trolley into the room and the three of us started to fill it up. ‘But for real, where to next?’ She was smiling now as she asked me.

“We are going to head down to Level Ten.” I told them as we placed the last of the boxes and started back up the corridor towards the elevators.

‘What’s on level 10?’ They asked me at the same time and smiled looking at each other.

“Level ten is where all the Medical supplies are located.” I said. Coming to a stop I waited, #Luna pressed the button to open the doors and we all pushed the trolley in.

‘Medical supplies?’ #Harper asked, hitting 10 on the wall.

“Hmm, yes. Can’t reboot my arse if I don’t have a way to wake up after all is said and done.”

= John =

I stuffed the music player into my pocket and took the metal steps two at a time. With a heavy sigh; I stood next to him and just shrugged my shoulders as if to say ‘Well… get on with it then.’ But, I instantly regretted it when Monty launched into a detailed description of what he was doing.

“Stop, stop, stop!” I held up my hands. “I don’t care about the details just tell me what you need me to do.” Monty frowned but nodded.

‘I just need you to get under this thing with me so I can remove a few parts and not have them crush me, once I get the bolts off.’ He explained.

“Really…” I rolled my eyes. “Heavy-lifting? Shouldn’t that be #Bellamy’s job or #Miller’s?” I huffed.

‘Normally, but…’ He looked at the tiny square his legs had been sticking out of only a few moments ago. It was barely a foot and a half wide and enclosed on all sides.

“Oh, Hell NO!” I shook my head and stepped back. “I am not squeezing into that tiny hole with you!”

‘Murphy, it means we’ll be able to decontaminate the test subjects faster. It gives them a chance to survive if the nightblood cure doesn’t work.’ Monty pressed his point. I dragged my hand over my face, my eyes moved to the lift again.

Still Nine.

“Or a chance to die slowly and painfully like Adria and the rest of Flokru!” His expression went dark. But he hadn’t watched that kid die… he had no idea. “Fine. Let’s get this over and done with… whose first?” I glared at him. He just waved his hand and held out a narrow flashlight with the other. I took it and crawled into the dark hole. “This is going to suck!”

= Raven =

Harper had left #Luna and I to scout out the medical level for all I may need from down here. ‘Are you sure you don’t have all you need up top already?’ #Luna asked as the two of us pushed boxes of parts and unopened tech to the side looking for what I wanted.

“Sure, we have some of it. But can you imagine the conversation with Abby? ‘Hi Abby, I need to steal some of this stuff you are using to save lives, so that I can test a theory?’ I don’t think she would buy it.” I shook my head holding up a box marked Ｄｅｆｉｂｒｉｌｌａｔｏｒ. “Here it is.” I showed her the box and she looked at it confused.

“It’s an automated external defibrillator, they used to use them to restart a heart after it stops Luna. Trust me when I say. I need this one.” She took the box from me looking at it from each angle before setting it to the side. “I’m on a roll now.” I pulled out an ECG, moving it out to carry too.

‘Yu dula op nou gaf bilaik Disha Reivon’ ( You do not need to do this Raven ) #Luna stopped me in my tracks by standing before me.

“You know I really do Luna, I’d forgotten for awhile that I was born a fighter. I was willing to sit back and wait for death to take me, which I know it will. But if I can save Abby before I go. How is that not worth trying?” Her gaze boor into me, her dark brown eyes searching my hazel one’s for something more. But there was nothing. I’d learnt that lesson by now, there was no point in me trying to hide from #Luna, she always found a way to see past whatever it was that I would put up before her.

‘Ai hofli get in bilaik gaf gon tran, ba Ai nou souda bilaik em.’ ( I may understand your need to try, but I don't have to like it. )

#Luna and I both carried a few boxes out of the store room and walked back to the main Medical area.

“"Nothing Like A Little Pain to Remind You You're Alive." I half smiled giving her a sideway glance.

= John =

The whole endeavour with #Monty had been successful…. But far too close for comfort. But as promised my only task was to stop the disconnected parts from landing on him. The heavy lifting wasn’t so much heavy as it was awkward, elbows and shoulders were everywhere. On top of the dried blood still caking my t-shirt, I smelled of machine oil and sweat again.

“I could fucking kill for a shower…. And clean clothes.” I muttered to myself and turned the tap in the break room to fill a glass of water… scoffing at the ease of the action. The short time in the mansion made things like showering seem like an easy task… sure on Earth, it had been before the bombs, but on the Ark… on Earth today. You were lucky to find enough water to drink something let alone bathe in.

I took two long gulps from the glass and walked back out into the main lab. There were too many shiny white walls, stainless steel and glass that reflected my image to me. The deep blue and purple bruising across my nose and under my eyes made me wince; I could forget about them now until I saw them, the swelling was mostly gone and it only hurt when I laughed… which was rare.

The Numbers above the lift still didn’t move. I should check on her. I thought to myself. What if she was alone down there and having a seizure?

What if she had one and was lying somewhere in a postictal state? I hated that I knew that word.

Fuck what if Abby’s biggest fear came true and she had a stroke?

Fuck! … No … #Luna wouldn’t leave her.

‘Leave the woman alone John! You held a gun on her… you almost stabbed her after a nightmare. Just stay the fuck away.’ The voice in my head said. I pinched the bridge of my nose; pain spiked all the way out over my cheeks and into my eyes.

“Fuck!!” I screamed it this time and everyone turned to look. Shit! I held up one hand. “I’m fine.” But #Jackson was making his way over and grasping my chin, tilting my face one way and then the other.

‘Are you still in pain?’ He asked.

“Sometimes but only when I touch it or move a certain way.” I answered honestly, the pain had faded already, and he wasn’t going to find anything wrong.

‘Well, there’s no use in suffering. Here, take these.’ He pulled a pill bottle from his pocket and tip two into his hand. ‘Just painkillers.’ He explained, probably taking in my expression.

“Will they make me high?” I asked. “I can’t be out of it…” My eyes flitted to the lifts against my will. Fuck! Doc Lite had followed my gaze and was smirking. I hate these people.

I sighed heavily.

‘No.” #Jackson chuckled nothing like that. ‘They won’t even make you sleepy; they’re just mild anti-inflammatories. They’ll take down the rest of the swelling and ease the pain. Take two and apply a cold compress. It will heal… but it will take a while.’

“Not my first black eye.” I laughed and mild pain shot up the bridge of my nose. I took the pills #Jackson tipped into my hand and washed them down with the water I was still holding. “Probably not my last either.”

‘Who knew John Murphy would be my easiest patient?’ He chuckled darkly and if it weren’t the quick glance over his shoulder, anyone would have thought he meant Raven. But it was clear he meant Abby, right now.

= Raven =

The tremble in my hand had me shaking it off on the sly. I didn’t want #Luna to see how shook up seeing the Emergency Room had made me. I wasn’t one to dwell on my history, I wasn’t the only child on the Ark whose childhood was tainted by the tragedy of loss. I was one of the lucky ones. I had #Finn and his family, I had #Sinclair and to a point even Abby. But now more so than before, I knew that this dysfunctional family that was surrounding me. With Luna and even John taking it on themselves to keep me alive. None of them needed to see me crumbling now that the road was so close to its ends for me.

What right did I have to live in a nightmare of my past, when we had a living nightmare I needed to find a solution to right here and now.

‘Rey, are you sure you are okay?’ #Luna had taken a hold of my hand and squeezed it. ‘Demons kom foutaim na kamp raun yumi. Em ste up gon yumi gon gon daun bakon’ ( The demons of the past will be near us. It is up to us to fight back. )

She stopped me from walking, turning me to face her. ‘Oso na na yuj, Ogeda’ ( We can be strong, together ). I shook my head. Pushing all that fear I once felt as a younger innocent girl away. I no longer had a place for it. My life / our lives had changed in such a way that there had been no room for innocence, or the time to dwell.

“I am fine, I’m older, I’m stronger. Hells Luna, you know I am the Badarse who blows shit up for fun.” There was no such thing as fun when lives were lost. But that would show the human inside of the facade.

My eyes moved from Luna’s dark eyes to the window just behind her. “Hells! It... Is… Perfect!”

She turned on her heels to look towards what I was speaking of. ‘What is that?’ She asked. My lips curled up into a big smirk.

“It’s a Floatation Tank, and she is a beauty!”

Shrugging myself free from the hold Luna had on me I pushed my way into the room, rushing over to see if it really was in one piece. Walking all the way around it. My hands touching the thick glass on all four sides, as I came back around to the front again.

“This will do perfectly. Yes, yes it will.” Rubbing my hands together, I rotated to face #Luna who was looking at me confused.

“There is no way we are going to get this tank up to Level Three.” My mind was working overtime.

‘What are you going to use this tank for?’ She followed my steps to walk all the way around the tank now too.

Her fingers gliding over the glass just as mine had moments before, the confusion in her eyes telling me that she’d not clicked onto my plan fully and maybe this was a good idea. The less they all knew, the more likely I could go through with the plan and see what the outcome was to be. There was a good reason I chose to keep some of the information back from everybody.

“This is the key component now to the plan.” Holding my finger up in the air. “And now this means I need to make some changes. We are going to bring all the stuff from upstairs down here. We need to make this Homebase for my testing from now!”

= John =

I laughed at #Jackson’s assessment. “Need me to slip something into her next meal?” I was joking, of course, but Doc Lite seemed to consider it for just a second. Then the Good Doctor act came back, and he looked a little… disgusted, at himself. “Glimpsing the grey areas, Doc?”

He shook his head and I let it go. ‘Go and put something cold on those bruises. It will help.’ He offered a forced smile. He was exhausted too. I rolled my eyes but nodded to tell him I would. I headed back to the break room to make coffee. I couldn’t help but wonder if there would be coffee in the bunker.

I made a fresh pot and ran a clean towel under the cold tap, wringing out the excess. I poured myself a cup and took a seat at the small round table, holding the wadded-up towel to my eyes. I don’t know why I bothered; it wasn’t really going to help. I sipped on the coffee… then eventually, as time went on, I slipped the headphones back in. I leaned back in the chair, balancing it on two legs; with my feet flung onto the table and draped the towel across both eyes.

The song playing in my ears seemed to be taunting me somehow… I scoffed at myself. What a ridiculous notion! How could lyrics, written over three hundred years ago have any relevance to my life?

The thoughts circled in my mind of all the times I could have killed her… even when I tried to save her, I could have gotten her killed. No one in Arkadia would have shot at her, had I not been trying to take her away. And just hours ago… even when I was asleep, I was dangerous to her.

( Music: Always Hate Me · James Blunt )

= Raven =

As the doors to the elevators opened my feet remained grounded. The shake in my hand was less visible, but it could still be felt in my own body. The image of my mother dying on the Ark in that Emergency Room was still fresh in my mind. The smells and the sounds playing like it was happening here and now, and I wished it would all stop.

‘Reivon?’ ( Raven? ) #Luna’s voice was soft and low, the lightest of touches to my elbow and I was back with her. ‘Shall we?’ She motioned to the door and I nodded my head. As we stepped out, we both came to a stop. ‘Is that not the trolley we sent up with Harper?’ She took a few steps into the lab to find it on the side sitting there.

Pushing and carrying the boxes out, I glanced around the lab, my eyes wondering over the warm bodies in here and those that were missing. Thinking to myself that Jasper and Emori must still be up on the ground. Marcus and Bellamy were nowhere to be found too. And John….

‘Rey? Where have you been?’ #Jackson came rushing down the steps towards us. ‘You’ve missed out on three check-ups and now I need a scan too.’ He was holding the head gear as he came to stand before us, making me shift back and out of his reach. ‘Don’t turn this into a fight Rey. You put this on, go about doing whatever it is you are up to, and we both get what we need.’

I dropped my head, feeling the two sets of eyes on me. “Stop looking at me like that. Both of you.” I grumbled, when I finally glanced up again, they both averted their eyes. “You guys really need to work on your covert looks.”

Stepping to the side I took a seat on a stool, giving him the go ahead. My eyes working their way around the lab again. “How’s it been up here?” I asked him in a low tone as he got to work. And #Luna moved the trolley back towards the elevators to take down again.

‘You know how it is. Abby is beating herself up. Bellamy and Marcus went up top to talk or something. Clarke is still trying to figure things out with her mom. Monty and John were working on the radiation chamber before…’

I stopped listening my eyes wondering towards where I last saw the grounder begging for his freedom. And I wished with all I had in me that the test had worked. Seeing John stood there with Emori behind him, with the gun pointed at my chest. This was the things that made up nightmares.

‘He’s gone to deal with his black eyes.’ #Jackson said out of nowhere.

“Huh? Who?” my eyebrows pulled together, trying to work out who he was talking about.

‘John. Aren’t you looking for him?’ He asked pushing the head gear into place. ‘All set. You can go about doing your thing, and I will gather the data.’ He stepped around me and the stool.

“I wasn’t searching for John; I was just looking around.” Tapping my head, I gave him a sarcastic smile with a thumbs up. “As long as it makes you happy Jax.” Jumping off the stool. “Right I have work to do.” Unzipping my jacket, I shrugged out of it, picking up some of the boxes I went back towards the office I’d started all this in. If this was going to work, I needed to get a move on.

= John =

I couldn’t help but let the words of the song rattle around in my head. Even if she’d forgiven me for everything that happened before… that was gone now. Washed away by a stupid ploy to gather sympathy for Emori and hope that they would see her as one of us. I shuddered. Why didn’t I drop the gun the second she stepped in front of it? Why was she there!? She was supposed to be in bed in the Bio lab! She wasn’t going to hurt Emori; she wasn’t going to stand ideally by if they tried to put her in the god-awful chamber. Why did I do it?

I growled and pulled the cold towel off my eyes… They felt better; up until they started to burn a little. I tossed it as hard as I could toward the sink; I missed and it slapped, with a wet squelch against the white tiles. I didn’t bother to get up and move it.

( Music: Say Something - A Great Big World )

A new song rang out in my ears and I listened. Propping my elbow on the table and leaning the least painful part of my forehead on my hand. My eyes were screwed shut. I fished the radio out of my pocket and brought it to my mouth. Clicking the button, and taking a breath, but I released it without a word.

‘And I.. will swallow my pride. You’re the one that I love. And I’m, saying goodbye.’

The lyrics hit me square in my chest; I shook it off… or tried to. My stomach swirled again, and my heart seemed to stop beating for a minute. No… This was stupid.

“C’mon, John… Just think. What do you need to say to her before she dies?” I whispered to myself. This time my stomach didn’t swirl… it heaved and what little I had eaten threatened to make its return.

I shook myself and took a few steadying breaths, I cleared my throat and when I was sure my voice was even, I lifted the radio again. “Raven. Come in.” Still too soft… something… strained in my throat.

= Raven =

The office looked similar and different all at the same time. “Somebody has been in here.” Things had been moved out of places I’d left them. But it wasn’t a big deal.

I came to a stop, my eyes wondering over the markings on the glass walls, all the calculations I’d done. All the planning I’d put into place for the take-off, the space suit that now hung ready to go on a journey I would not be taking. There were only two paths before me now, and out of them I’d picked the one I was going to take.

When my eyes fell to the ground, the toe of my boot sat in line with droplets of blood. It had been the spot I’d fallen. ‘Chit hir Oso teik fos?’ ( What in here are we taking first? ) #Luna came to stand beside me, as I moved my foot over the blood marks.

“If you take the plans from the desk, the parts to the side over there—” I pointed to the far left of the office space. “—Then maybe take the trolley back down? But just leave it by the elevators?” Nodding her head in agreement she set to work as did I.

‘Do you want me to go see where John is?’ She asked as the two of us got to work packing the boxes. This had been the first time, in a long while that the three of us weren’t together. And I could tell she was worried about him.

“Zen Master, I am not stopping you. If you need or want to go find him. Yu gyon au ( You go ).” Her eyes came to find mine as I glanced across to her.

‘Are you mad at him? Gon chit he don dula? ( For what he did? )’ She asked. I stood up thinking about the question.

“Honestly? No. I’d have done the same thing, maybe not in the same way. He was standing up for Emori. He was doing the right thing. But—” I trailed off with a shrug of my shoulders, as I set to filling the box on the table beside me.

‘Ba?’ ( But? ) She prompted me to go on.

“But… It hurt a little that he thought I wouldn’t see right from wrong. I may not agree with what we did. And yes, I say 𝙬𝙚 because I didn’t stop it.” There was a click on the radio sat in the pocket of my pants, both Luna and I glanced down to listen but there were no words. Our eyes met, before we got to work.

‘You know he is most likely beating himself up about it.’ She continued, but I wasn’t so sure about it.

“It’s John, trust me. I am sure he’s justified it all to himself by now.” Scoffing as I carried the now full box towards the door and set it down, before returning to pick up another.

‘You do not believe that, dula op nou speis au, Ai op Yu’ ( Do not forget, I see you )

My lips parted to say something, anything to tell her that she was wrong. But she really wasn’t. We both saw the changes in him. From the boy he was when we arrived here on the Island, to the person he was becoming while looking after Luna and me.

Before I could think to reply to her, the static sounded on the radio once again. My eyebrows pinched together. This time his voice came through in the lightest of whispers. ‘𝙍𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙣. 𝘾𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙞𝙣’. His voice was not the one we all knew.

Taking the radio out I brought it up to my lips, pushing the button to the side with my thumb. “What’s going on John, you okay?” setting my thumb free.

Luna came to stand by my side. ‘He doesn’t know we are back.’ She said before heading out of the office and I knew she’d find him and be there for him.

= John =

Raven’s voice crackled through the radio too quickly. I had no time to think about what I was going to say. But she was okay, the crazy images in my head of her lying on the lower levels unconscious or convulsing; dissolved away into nothing. I lifted the radio and pressed the talk button; I shook my head… she was asking if I was okay. “I’m okay.” I lied, easily. Too easily, but it sat awkwardly on my tongue when I tried to speak again.

“I’m just checking in on you. You’ve been g—“ I stopped abruptly when #Luna appeared in the doorway.

‘Jon.’ She offered a smile. ‘Em komba raun. Mafta ai op.” (She’s back. Follow me.)

I released the key and half-laughed, half-sighed. I pushed the chair back and the legs scraped the floor making an unpleasant sound that made Luna wrinkle her nose. I followed her out of the room. “Never mind… I’m coming to you.” I said into the radio.

‘Yu feis ste lufa… ena… skrish. Ba Beda.’ (Your face looks… well… shit. But better.) She teased as we walked in the direction of the office.

“Mochof.” (Thanks.) I rolled my eyes. “Yu nou ste lufa yu’s mou beda ida.” (You’re not looking your best either.) I said sarcastically. But she was looking a little tired if I was honest.

We stepped into the office and Raven was hunched over, busying herself with who knows what. I hunkered down near her. “Raven.” I tried to pull her attention “Raven… Can we talk?” I waited for her to look up and added a tentative “Please.”

#Luna, who had been leaning on the doorframe, pushed herself upright and took the handle of some kind of cart and started to push it up the corridor and out of view.

= Raven =

I waited with my brows pulled together. My eyes moving from the door where #Luna had disappeared, and then down on the radio in my hand as it crackled back to life again. He was checking in on us. All the time we’d been on the lower levels, it hadn’t occurred to me that he would have been waiting for us to come back. I’d just assumed that he’d be thankful for the time alone and away from my sarcasm.

The sound of #Luna’s voice came from nowhere, and if I didn’t know she was going to him, I may have missed it.

“Okay.” Is all I said, setting the radio down on the table beside me. Leaning over I pushed one hand over my hair.

My head was starting to pound again, and I knew that I should take the pills #Jackson had given me. Standing again I took the air filter from the table and walked back to place it into the new open box. My hand moved down into my pocket, to find the two pills still sat there waiting for me. I knew that #Jax wouldn’t take them back, but at the same time I couldn’t bring myself to take them. What if Abby needed them? She was going to suffer in the same way as I was now, if my plan backfired.

My feet took me back to the desk and I hunched over it, one hand in my hair tugging it a little free from the hair tie. I glanced down to the calculations that Sinclair and I’d worked on before I left for my mission. “It will have to work; I am sure it will. But it won’t kill me to check them again.”

I was lost in the numbers and the fractions, I didn’t hear the footsteps approaching. My head was down, and my mind was watching the numbers as they lifted off the plans starting to float in the air before me.

“Hmm?” I said hearing my name. I didn’t look away in fear that the numbers would disappear before I was ready for them to leave me. But then the word 𝙋𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚 brought my attention back out of the lost mind of mine.

Looking up I saw #Luna had not come into the room, then without saying a word she took the trolly and left us here. When I finally averted my glance from the door, I stilled. Seeing him now with the change in his skin, the cuts and the bruises had started to show themselves.

“Hells John—” I reached out and lifted his face by his chin, before letting it go. “– You look like hells and then some.” Shaking my head, I stood upright a little turning to face him now. Keeping the majority of my body weight lent into the desk.

“We need to talk. What about?” My hazel eyes searched his face, but I couldn’t move past the bruising and the fact that I was lying in a Biobed watching a screen as it had happened to him.

= John =

I was stunned into stillness when she reached up and took my chin, examining my bruised and bloodied face. “It looks worse than it feels.” It could be true… I had avoided my reflection… but I had taken worse beatings. I didn’t voice that thought, I’d notice the way she seemed to retreat in on herself when I said things like that.

“#Jackson gave me something for the pain, I can hardly feel it.” That was a flat out lie… the pills had dull the edge to a low-grade throbbing, sure… but I could still feel it.

I examined the contents of the desk she was leaning on and slowly forced myself to meet her gaze. Her hazel eyes seemed darker now; shadows dulled the skin beneath them, but not like the bruises that ringed mine. Hers were slightly red… she was tired and overworked… again. This made me feel anxious, but I pushed it down for now.

I dragged my hand through my hair and let out a long, heavy breath. “Just about what happened in the lab…” I started shakily. Not a brilliant first step. “I um… I didn’t mean t—you were supposed to be in bed.” I cleared my throat; it felt like it was tightening. “You weren’t meant to see that… I was…” I froze.

I was what? Protecting Emori? Lie… Kind of. Putting on a show to make the others look at Emori as someone to protect and not throw to her death for the sake of a long-shot experiment? Truth… But it was one I wasn’t sure I wanted her to know. It would confirm that all the change she believed she saw in me was a product of the situation… It was easy to be a good guy when no one was trying to kill you… but when it came down to it; was there any line I wouldn’t cross to protect myself… or my only friend?

My eyes landed on Raven again. Was there any line I wouldn’t cross to protect her? “I’m sorry. I… I was never going to pull the trigger.”

= Raven =

He lied... My eyes narrowed at him as he stilled when I touched his face. His eyes nose the face was still a little hard to look at. And I knew John Murphy would never come out right and tell me that he was in pain or in any discomfort. Reaching into my pocket my fingers curled around the two pills #Jackson had given to me. Looking around the desk I found the open bottle of water and slid it cross to him and set the pills down next to them. “Take those now, they will get you through the rest of the day. And If you are lucky, even the night.”

His eyes moved to the desk, and I turned the pages with the space suit design on it around. For some reason I didn’t want him to see that I was planning to leave on my own terms. But hearing his voice had me looking back to him.

I stood still watching him, my eyes searching to understand what it was he was attempting to say and then it slowly became clear. What was there left to say to him? Curling my bottom lip I bit into it listening so not to interrupt him. Letting him have his moment to say what it was he wanted. But the more I listened the less impressed I was.

“I wasn’t meant to be there? I was meant to be in bed?” I half snorted a laugh. “So, if it wasn’t me who stood before you. Say it was Jasper, or Harper, or Clarke. Then what John? Then it would have been okay for you to hold a gun to their chest? Then you wouldn’t have thought twice about pulling the trigger maybe?”

I had told #Luna that I didn’t hold his choice against him. But now hearing this, it pulled on emotions I didn’t realise he’d pushed into.

“When you say you want to be better John, that doesn’t mean you pick and choose who you are better towards. It doesn’t mean that you pick the times when holding a gun to somebody’s chest is okay or not. It means making better choices despite who is stood before you.”

Shaking my head, I pushed off the desk. “I get why you thought action was needed. And I know you don’t believe me when I say that Emori has nothing to worry about when it comes to me. The fact of the matter here is that you saw no other way to get yourself heard. Not even with me and Luna in the room.”

Maybe I was pissed at him? But I had no idea why. This was how they all did things. Reacting before thinking when I kept telling them to 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠 𝙗𝙚𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙘𝙩.

= John =

I shook my head when she handed me the pills. “No… Raven. #Jackson gave you those for a reason. Plus, whatever he gave me looked different. I’m no doctor but even I know mixing meds without talking to one of the docs is a bad idea.” She couldn’t argue with that logic… I had a feeling whatever he had given her had a secondary use of putting her to sleep, or at least slowing her down. I couldn’t afford to be slowed down. Not with how Raven was looking right now.

Her question hit me like a punch in the ribs. “What? No… Raven… I – “ I looked over my shoulder and glanced back at her. “I wasn’t going to shoot 𝕒𝕟𝕪𝕠𝕟𝕖. I just needed them to understand what that arsehole was. I know you think of Emori as one of us, but you’re different. You want to save everyone… they want to save as many of their people as they can.” I stopped and planted both hands on the table, lowering my head until my eyes were level with hers.

“I know you don’t want to believe that, but history speaks for itself. They will put Skaikru first and that’s not a bad thing; that’s who they are. That’s what they live for. But Emori… She’s my people, my first 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕝 friend. I’d be dead twice over if it wasn’t for her. And now…. This place, you and #Luna… I just.” I stopped again; how did I tell her that they were people I couldn’t bear the thought of leaving behind now, too.

“I’m trying to do things your way Raven. I am…” I dragged my fingers through my hair. “Honestly… and I know it’s ridiculous… but when I’m not around you and #Luna it’s harder to make the choices I know I should.” My eyes were glued to the papers that Raven had flipped over now. I had no clue why… it wasn’t like I understood anything she’d written on them.

= Raven =

I left the bottle of water and the pills where they were. If he didn’t want to take them there was nothing, I could do to make it happen. He was a big boy now, and he could make his own choices. This wasn’t a battle we needed to fight right now. And not to mention that some part of what he was saying about mixing pills wasn’t a good idea, sat true.

I tugged on my hair, my eyes not moving from his. “If you weren’t going to shoot John—” And some part of me knew he wasn’t. #Luna’s voice ringing in my ears at how I didn’t believe it. “— Listen, there is no point in us going over the same thing. You say you weren’t going to shoot anybody, and yet you managed to show everybody in that room that you still see yourself as an outsider. You say Emori is your only 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡 friend, and yet that was the worst way to bring people to her side. Especially as they were already making their way towards Emori.” Biting my lips to stop myself because this was now in the past.

“I know. I know all these people and I know that we of all people can’t lift a finger towards anybody. We have all made errors in the past. Hells even yesterday I am sure we must have messed up in some way. All I am saying, have some faith in the people here. Give them a chance to prove themselves.” I feared that I maybe giving them all too much credit. But it was no different to how I spoke to them about him now.

The next part made my body stiffen. ‘𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙄’𝙢 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙖𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙇𝙪𝙣𝙖 𝙞𝙩’𝙨 𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙙𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙞𝙘𝙚𝙨 𝙄 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙄 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙’. There was so much wrong in those words. So much that needed to be spoken about. Leaning in, my eyes still locked on his as I tried to see if he was playing me, but it was true.

“John. Luna and I can’t be the only reason you want to make the right choices. I am here today, but we know it’s only a matter of time—” I didn’t need to finish that sentence, I knew he and #Luna disliked it when I joked or spoke of the inevitable. “—Just make the right choices for yourself, not for another person is all I am saying.”

I followed his glance down to the table and assumed he was looking at the pills and the water. Moving to sit back down as pain shot up into my hip. “Do you really believe Emori is in danger here?” It was time for me to hear his fears, to find out why he felt that move he took was the only way to help his friend.

= John =

'𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘨𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘳𝘰𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘯 𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘳.' The words rang true, but the next ones stung. "Not 𝕠𝕟𝕝𝕪..." I murmur low. "I thought that maybe..." I trailed off. I had no right to finish that with; you and #Luna were my friends now. I held a gun on her… she'd be insane to consider me a friend. Even with our tumultuous past behind us. "I just... I froze... I didn't want you to see that."

I wished it was just as easy as giving them a chance to prove themselves... and I was doing that. But how could I pin Emori's life on a long shot?

"I am trying, Raven. But it's her life on the line; I can't just take that chance. And I wish I could; I really do. But I just barely managed to talk her into staying on the island when we found out about the human experiments. She stayed because I promise she wouldn't be next." I sighed heavily, my eyes dropping from hers and quickly moving back. "I know it was the wrong way to do it."

"I know, Raven!" I snapped when she told me that, she and #Luna couldn't be the only reason I made good choices, but I was frustrated at myself not her. I squeezed out a long breath, digging short fingernails into my palms until I got a grip. "Sorry." I muttered but fixed my eyes on hers and pleaded that she'd see I was sincere. "I know that can't be the only time I'm not an arsehole but... You and #Luna..." I staggered over the words. I had no idea how to even form the thought into words.

"Yo teik ai gaf ge beda." (You {both} make me want to be better.)

After I said the words I wondered was it really #Luna or #Adria? Maybe a little of both, I had chosen to steal those pills on my own, I had chosen to take Raven away from the chip-heads on my own. But the more time I spent with them the more I started to feel like it was possible to change. But when she was gone... it was like I flipped the switch and became the worst version of myself again.

"I am trying Raven... I know it probably doesn't look like it but..." I stopped again and moved a few small, strange parts around the table trying to distract the part of my brain that was in overdrive. "Maybe... maybe the fight is all I am." I looked up from where I fidgeted, my eyes were deeply apologetic. "Maybe I can't be better."

= Raven =

“Thought that maybe what John?” I stopped for a moment trying to think what it was that I’d said? It wasn’t anything out there. Just pointing out to him, what he had said to me?

I rubbed my temples, and then set my eyes back on him. “Why didn’t you want to see me there? What would have happen if you knew that Luna and I were there?” I wasn’t sure what I was missing here. But the one thing I wanted him to see was that he was so much better than his actions today. It was important to me that he knew this lesson before I was gone.

I didn’t react to his snap; I wasn’t the only one on this island who could lose it from time to time. And given the conversation, the reasons behind him choosing to stand here when he really didn’t need too. He had a fight within him that was no different to any of the rest of us. But John Murphy as I knew him before this island had always chosen to save one person and one person alone… 𝙃𝙞𝙢𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛. However now? This John Murphy who Abby had placed her trust in. Who #Luna had taken under her wing. Who had shown us all that there was more to him. He’d run towards a fight for us, when everyone expected him to run away from it more than once.

“Stop apologising John.” Clasping my hands to my thighs I squeezed down to give myself some relief. “Aren’t we passed the need to keep apologising to one another?” Or was that just something I had felt? With #Luna and him these days it just felt like there was no point for airs and grace. They’d seen me at my lowest, and they were still here.

“There is no 𝙢𝙖𝙮𝙗𝙚 about it Watcher. You have already proven time and time again that you can be so much better than people expect of you.” I watched his fingers playing with things on my desk, and there was a time I would have reached out and slapped him for it. But now. There was no point. “You know your eyes sometimes give you away John. You’re not as cold as you want the world to see. I saw it in your eyes when you held the gun at my chest. You weren’t going to do anything with it. Even if you didn’t know it yourself at the time.”

“Den ge beda gon Ogeda kom yumi ( Then be better for all of us. ) My eyes were locked into his for the moments I said those words. Only breaking my glance away when I shifted on the stool.

“Until then, is there anything I can do or say to Emori to help ease her fears and yours? Do you want me to go and talk to Marcus and Clarke? With those two fools stepping up to test, I am sure they will be able to show Emori and you there is nothing to be scared of?” With everything in me I hoped that the others wouldn’t prove his and Emori’s fears true.

= John =

‘𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘓𝘶𝘯𝘢 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦?’ She asked and a heavy sigh rushed out of my chest. “Nothing… I wasn’t planning on shooting I swear.” She had no reason to believe me, but something deep inside of me really wanted her to. “I didn’t want you to see that part of me coming back…” I kept my eyes on the moving parts; my fingers moving from bolts to screws and flat metal pieces.

I had let her down, it would be a laughable concept that I - of all people - had someone in my life expecting better of me… if it wasn’t so profoundly painful. I had known I wasn’t going to shoot her, I was stunned, frozen and devastated that she had seen my outburst. Theatre or not I hadn’t wanted her to witness my deception.

I wished she was right… every time I did something to prove I could do better. I followed it up with something so wholly stupid that it completely undid all the good preceding it. But I hoped she was right. My heart gave an involuntary thump that caught me off guard. ‘𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘑𝘰𝘩𝘯.’ What did that mean? I couldn’t help but lock gazes with her now, trying to figure out what it was that she meant.

Her next question was even more wrought with pitfalls. I wanted to tell her I believed that Emori would be safe. But those hazel eyes demanded only the truth. “Short of disabling that death box…” I shook my head sighing. That was crazy of course; it was the only chance at a solution. “It won’t make a difference.” After what I had just learned about Kane; his word couldn’t be trusted. “It’s not something one person can change. When something like this spreads through a group of people it’s impossible to stop. It starts with an idea or a whisper and then gains momentum… until it’s unstoppable. I know the cycle too well. I’ve been both the victim and the instigator of it in the past.”

= Raven =

Pushing myself up off the stool again I shook my head. We were going in circles here. He swears he wasn’t going to shoot at me… Well, I wanted him to think for a bloody moment longer than he seemed to when doing something that stupid.

“It’s done now. You not wanting Luna and me to witness you at such a low.. That in my eyes is fixed by one thing and one alone. You not going there… Not taking those steps! You show that you have some faith in us that even when we…” I stopped myself. I had no right to speak for #Luna. “… Even when I may not agree with you, I may not see things your way. You should know by now that it wouldn’t mean that I would leave you alone.”

Stepping forward I placed my hand over his fingers to stop him from fidgeting with my things now. “I can’t do that. I can’t mess with the radiation chamber, not after the fact that I know Monty has worked to make it safe and that Marcus is the next to lay down in it. I won’t do anything to risk him dying John, I have enough blood on my hands as it is.” It killed me that anyone was stepping into this thing. And it was killing me that I unmeaningly had been the one who gave Abby and Clarke the answer to what could make this night blood thing work. And this… I’d not told him or #Luna yet.

Moving my hand back from his I bit down on my lips. It wasn’t nerves and it wasn’t fear. But at the same time, I couldn’t put my finger on the reasoning behind the gut twisting I was feeling now. “I think I gave Abby and Clarke the answer they were looking for... To complete this new test... I didn’t mean to... But my eyes saw something on the screen and the code just started spouting from my mouth.”

= John =

She was right. Of course, she was right. I sighed and dragged my hand through my hair. It was about the only part of my body that wasn’t aching… even though the pains were fading now. I wasn’t in a hurry to aggravate anymore of my new injuries. I sighed again when her hand stilled mine and she told me she wouldn’t sabotage the machine. I hadn’t meant for it to sound like I wanted her to… it was supposed to come out like some crazy, unachievable scheme… proving that there wasn’t anything that could be done. The sudden rush of dread that she thought I meant that had masked that strange feeling in my stomach again. What the fuck?

“I didn’t… I’d never ask you to do that Raven. Never.” I meant every word… I couldn’t say I hadn’t thought about doing it myself. I wouldn’t need to be a genius or a mechanic… I could smash the glass; pull out parts and wires at the very least; that would slow them down.

This wasn’t the first time she’s mentioned blood on her hands. I knew there were things she felt guilty for. But the only people she’d ever hurt were ones that were on their way to kill us… or literally beating in the door and killing anyone outside the dropship.

Did she mean #Adria? My gut clenched thinking of that kid.

I could see the turmoil swirling inside her suddenly. When her hand pulled away, mine felt strangely cold. “I know you did Raven… I heard – “ I cut myself off.

“Well, I saw you with them and I had a feeling you figured something out. That’s why we’re here right? I’m not against the serum… we need it. I’m just terrified they’ll kill my friend to find it.” I admitted bluntly. “But no matter what Raven, it’s not on you. If the worst happens it won’t be your choice who it is that goes in that box.”

= Raven =

I needed something to do, standing about looking into his eyes wasn’t something I did. Not when there was work to be done. But more so it had more to do with the fact that he was letting me off the hook again. They all did that from time to time. Like they thought I was some fragile doll who would crack if too much pressure was put on my shoulders. And I knew I was so much more than that. The Hells I am Raven Fucking Reyes, the youngest and the best Zero-G Mechanic the Ark had ever seen. I could take the pressure, even when my body was giving out on me.

Frowning I started to collect the things I needed, before looking around for a box as I listened to him. “Asking or not John, it isn’t something even you want to think about doing. Marcus may not be somebody we liked up on the Ark. But he’s not the same man, just as none of us down here are the same.”

I moved to the far side of the room where #Luna had left some empty boxes before leaving. “I know we came here for this, to make the serum. A part of me knew that testing was needed sure. But with the plan to go up to Zero-Gs to make it, it was a win, win. We knew it worked, Becca had done all the testing and….”I nod my head to the door were Luna had left from. “We knew it would do what we needed. But this… Trying something new…. The grounder… Baylis….” I started to throw the parts into the box harder than I’d expected to.

Holding onto the edges of the box I leant over it and dropped my head, closing my eyes as I let my words and all he’d said really sink in. He knew? He knew that I may have helped with the serum and he was still saying it wasn’t on me. I could have laughed if I weren’t so pissed off with myself. ‘𝘐’𝘮 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺’𝘭𝘭 𝘬𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘺 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘵.’

“I should have had better control on myself, my mouth, this stupid code in my head. If I had kept it to myself. You and Emori wouldn’t need to worry about the testing. Marcus wouldn’t be readying himself as a guinea pig. And 𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝘼𝙡𝙡 would be on the boat and then in the rover heading back to Polis and the bunker, where Octavia needs you right now.”

= John =

My jaw clenched at the mention of Kane… “𝑀𝒶𝓇𝒸𝓊𝓈 𝓂𝒶𝓎 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝒷𝑒 𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒𝒷𝑜𝒹𝓎 𝓌𝑒 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒𝒹 𝓊𝓅 𝑜𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒜𝓇𝓀. 𝐵𝓊𝓉 𝒽𝑒’𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓈𝒶𝓂𝑒 𝓂𝒶𝓃.” If only she knew what I did. But I couldn’t… I couldn’t tell her what I knew. It would put her in an awful position with Octavia and not to mention; Marcus… or any of the others that didn’t know the full truth. And I couldn’t do that to her. I wouldn’t.

But not telling her made my mouth dry up. “And it would have worked Raven… you would have made it work but rocket fuel isn’t easy to come by. There was nothing to be done.” It wasn’t exactly Clarke and Bellamy’s fault the fuel was lost either… They probably should have had more people with them. But that would have meant telling them the truth.

I would have told her to stop finding fault in everything she did. I would have told her she did what she came here to do. Plan A wasn’t an option so they all pitched in on plan B… or was it C now. Not that it mattered. But all I could think about was the ‘𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕒𝕝𝕝’ she had said. What the hell did that mean?

I took the opposite corners of the box and pinned it before she could lift it and take off. “𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕒𝕝𝕝?” I stressed. “Rey… What do you mean 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕒𝕝𝕝? It’s 𝕎𝔼.” I leaned in from every angle until she was forced to look at me. “You mean 𝕎𝔼 𝕒𝕝𝕝… Right?”

Did I have any right to ask that? When I was thinking about running? Grabbing Emori and getting her the hell out of here. But only knowing that Raven was with them… and they’d get her to the bunker.

= Raven =

As I went to pick the box up, his hand slipped onto it and pinned it to the table. My eyebrows knitting together as I realised what I had said. Chastising myself at the slip of my tongue, and at the fact that he had picked it up too. Of course, he had, he saw and heard it all even when he was pretending not to care.

Biting down on my lip I tugged at the box again, and his hand was still on it. I wasn’t in the mood to explain it all to him. The master plan I was working towards. Explaining how I was going out on my own terms. But his eyes, those blue eyes were on me again. Watching with intent as he questioned me, and waited for a reply too? He really wanted me to reply, to tell him?

Clearing my throat, I stood there looking back at him. My shoulders square as I spoke. “I’m not going back. The Bunker isn’t a place for me to be.” It was that simple I tapped the side of my head. “This thing could last a month, a week, a day or even an hour. So, spending that time underground, taking up a spot that another who could live a long healthy life is more important than me.”

My eyes flicked to the wall with the space suit patten drawn on it. I didn’t even know if I was going to end this life the way I wanted to. One last space walk and taking my last breath gazing at the stars, or if it was going to be today on the tenth level underground in this lab. All the plans were set and ready to go. I’d even spoken to the others about Emori getting my spot in the bunker, but nobody needed to know about that. Not until they were all heading back to Polis.

But now as I saw him, watched him. I wondered if me telling him would help at all? He didn’t believe Emori was safe, but if I told him that I’d spoken to them about him, about Luna and Emori. Would it help take his concerns away or make him think it was some trap I was setting up for them? If he didn’t trust the others, why would he trust me?

= John =

“No!” I snapped. I barked the word. A demand… I had no business demanding anything from her. I followed her eyes to the suit. That was never going to survive the death wave. Even if this place didn’t collapse or burn into a smouldering pit of earth and plastic and charred machinery… even if the suit miraculously kept that much radiation at bay; she couldn’t survive in it… what about food and water?

“No, Raven.” I released the box now and spoke softly; my eyes still locking her in. No right! No place… no business to tell her how to live, or rather end, her life. I jabbed my finger at the suit. “That thing is not the solution to anything. It’s giving up.” I took a breath. My heart was pounding.

The bunker…

Without Raven…

With so many people.

Underground.

Up to five years.

Without her.

Locked in.

Raven would be dead.

Five years.

Then… what?

What the hell was this!? I screamed inside my head… my chest ached like I was inside a giant vice grip. My throat was dry, my breathing was… jagged and painful.

Panic attack.

I could handle this. It wasn’t my first and it would not be my last. I took a deep breath; my eyes had broken away from hers at some stage. Though, when I found them again it was instantly easier to breathe.

“Don’t. Die. Raven.” I demanded again. No right. “Don’t give up… Raven. Do. Not. Die!” I bolted from the office and whirled for the darkest hallway I could find. If I was going to fall apart; no one was going to see it. Especially not her.

= Raven =

I was stood a little confused, a little in shock and a lot of questions whirling around in my head. I had parted my lips to tell him the suit was for space and not for radiation, but then I froze there. My fingers wrapped around the edge of the box to the point that my knuckles had turned off white with the blood flow reduced from what he was saying.

His eyes shoot around and I could tell something was going on internally. Some debate? Some fight? Something he wasn’t able to put into words. I found myself letting go of the box at the same time as he did, and hearing him. ‘𝘿𝙤𝙣’𝙩. 𝘿𝙞𝙚. 𝙍𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙣’

I shook my head, reaching my hand out but he was gone. His back to me as he rushed out of the room and left me stood there watching him go. Something stirred in me, a tightness in my chest, my stomach turned like I was going to be sick.

So much had taken place today. I’d watched him sleep, seen how his nightmares had taken a hold of him, I had stood before him with a gun held to my chest by him. And now… Now…. ‘𝘿𝙤𝙣’𝙩. 𝘿𝙞𝙚. 𝙍𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙣’. His words hung in the air as my eyes burned. ‘𝘿𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙜𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙪𝙥…’ Is that what he thought I was doing? Giving up?

Sure, the plan to leave may have been some way for me to say I was done, I wasn’t going to fight, but there was nothing left for me to 𝙛𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙛𝙤𝙧. The Deathwave was coming, the Nightblood... As much as I wanted to believe, the data was against the outcome being as we wanted it to be. And with my head about to implode at any minute. Was I just for once being realistic? Taking the universe at its word this one last time. Instead of fighting it?

Combing my fingers over my hair I look up to stop the burn in my eyes. “Not a promise I can make John.” The words were burning in my throat because he didn’t wait to hear them. I wiped my eyes, picking up the box. It was time for this Stargazer to get back to work.

“𝙂𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝘽𝙮𝙚 𝙒𝙖𝙩𝙘𝙝𝙚𝙧, it’s been one hells of a ride these last few days.” My eyes on the door he’d gone out of, I left my last words in the air unsaid to him.

[hqdelila-blog]

about a delight ;

• BASICS •

Full name: Delila Catriona Bautista-McIntosh

Nickname(s) or alias(es): De, Dede, Delly, Madame, Frenchie.

Preferred name(s): Delila, De, Dede.

Date of birth: May 12th, 1993

Zodiac sign:  Taurus

Religion: Christian. 

Gender: Female. 

Preferred pronouns: She/her

Sexual preference: Pansexual. 

Romantic preference: Pansexual 

Hometown: Tagbilaran , Philippines

Resides in: The Vally, California.

Occupation: Professional Domme, Porn Star.

Language(s) spoken: Spanish, English, broken Scottish Gaelic . 

Native language: Filipino, English.

• BACKGROUND •

Birth order: Youngest. 

Level of education: Graduate of High School.

How were their grades? Excellent, top of class.

Best childhood memory: Anything about her life in the Philippines, seeing as both her parents were enlisted in the army, she was raised mainly by her grandparents. But her favorite memory, if she had to say one would be Christmas when she was 6, it was one where everyone was together, no threat, no... bad, just together. 

Family’s economic status: Birth family, lower middle class, adopted family, very wealthy. 

Childhood career choice: A solider, like her father.

School subject they excelled at: Anything with numbers, science, math-- she loved knowing there as a right and wrong answer.

School subject they had trouble with: Art, she could hardly hold a brush in her hand without dropping it, let alone create something. 

• APPEARANCE, VOICE & MANNERISMS •

Birthmarks/scars/distinguishing marks: She has a freckle on her right cheek, but  scarring is more what she has, after a tour overseas,she is littered in them; the worst of them on her right thigh and leg, her shoulders, and forearms. A lot of them look like burns, cuts. 

Tattoos: None.

Piercings: Ears, just the lobes.

Dominant hand: Right. 

Frequently worn jewelry: Her mothers wedding ring on her pointer finger and her fathers tags around her neck. 

Speech style: (fast, monotone, loquacious?) Depending on who she is with and what she is talking about, it varies-- on casual days it is very clear, not monotone, but not so fast you cannot understand her. When she is angry, passionate, scared-- she will speak a bit faster. 

Verbal tics: (do they have trouble pronouncing certain words or getting their thoughts across clearly?)  None. 

Scent:  Tom Ford, Fucking Fabulous.

Posture: Excellent. 

• PERSONALITY •

Personality type: ESFJ

Positive traits: Empathetic, Kind, Loyal.

Negative traits: Secretive, Dangerous, Impulsive.

Usual mood: Content.

Insecurities: Her skin color, her scarring.

Fears: Not making her birth parents proud, death, and birds.

Comforts: Physical touch, music, volunteer work. 

Habits/quirks: Foot tapping.

Nervous tics: Playing with hair, touching hair. 

Superstitions: None.

Pet peeves: People who play with food, bad hygiene.

• HEALTH & PSYCHOLOGY •

Diet: Generally very good, eats very healthy day to day but does enjoy her fatty foods-- doesn’t restrict much, but doesn’t binge. 

Alcohol Use: Social. 

Drug Use: None. 

Addictions: None. 

Allergies: Coconut. 

Exercise habits: A hug runner, physical strength  training 

Sleeping habits: (Do they sleep well? Badly?) She sleeps terribly most nights, can never fall asleep-- has to take sleeping medication. 

Any physical ailments/illnesses/disabilities? Has a bum leg’, after her return from serving-- during she was sure she had broken her leg, sprained in, done some kind of damage that now she always walks with a small limp.

Any mental illnesses/disorders? PTSD. 

Enneagram Type:  8, the protector.

Moral Alignment: (you can also view this for a simpler description)  Lawful Good, "Crusader"

Temperament: Phlegmatic

Element: Earth.

Hogwarts House: RavenClaw. 

Intelligence Type: Intrapersonal intelligence

• VIEWS ON... •

Life: “People take it too for-granted, they don’t understand that it can be taken away any  moment and it is too short for hate.”

Death: “Something that happens, that... that happens too soon most of the time.”

Love: “Love is... love, love is wonderful and is always there-- it is always there, even in the darkest of times.”

Sex: “Love it enough to make a career out of it.”

Marriage: “Something I do want one day, one day I want it all, a husband/wife, children, a home---I want a love like my mother and fathers.”

Divorce: “An easy way out, there are people that fight for their right to get married only for nearly half of marriages to end in such. If it is for the right reason, a couple that has fallen out of love, a partner beingu nfaithful to the other, it is... just an end people know all too well.” 

Family: “Not always traditional.” 

Friends: “Needed to get by, needed to be not alone-- the platonic love is if not more important than romantic.” 

Politics: “Fuck politics, fuck the fact that peoples voices are taken from them-- you may not want to hear me as a WOC, but you will.” 

Religion: “A comfort.”

Work: “If you enjoy what you do, you will never work a day in your life. Doing what I do, I help those that needed it and that is all that matters.”

Money: “Something that I will never take for-granted,and as someone that is wealthy, I use it to help those that need it.”

Alcohol/Drug Use: N/A

Tattoos/Piercings: N/A

Swearing: N/A

• FAMILY •

Father(s): Birth Father ;  Ailbeart Lee Paterson ;  Adoptive Father; Jacob Andrew McIntosh.

Describe their relationship: Birth Father, Delila was always a fathers girl, while she didn’t she much of him while he was alive, him serving tour after tour; on the times he’d come back with her mother, they’d be attached at the hip. Her father had a thich Scottish accent, thick hair, and arms that when they wrapped around her, the months away, it didnt matter. Delila is proud of her father,she’s proud to be his daughter and wear his tags with honor. She only hopes that he’s proud of her.  //  Adopted father, The two of them-- they didn’t get along, but they did not not get along, her father was a man of few words, that was unless you did something he did not like-- then the words never stopped. She was thankful for him, he gave her the life anyone could ever want, a big house,money, the best education, but... he wasn’t her dad, she never felt that connection. As of the current moment, Delila has not spoken to her father since coming back from tour,  she saw her parents for a total of 11 minutes and it left her knowing they wanted nothing to do with her.

Mother(s): Birth Mother ; Mahalia Dalisay Bautista  Adoptive Mother ; Rosalinda Lydia McIntosh.  

Describe their relationship: Birth Mother, It was the ongoing thing that Delila was her mothers birthday present, ringing in the womans birthday with her birth there was that bond the two shared that no one could place. While like her father, Delila didn’t see much of her, when she did, her mother was one to always squeeze in as much love, as much and as grand as she could in short bursts of time. The one lesson her mother taught her was to love her skin, love her voice- love everything that made her different. // Adopted mother, If there was one thing knew about her mom it was that she was beautiful, but that was it. And that stuck with her, no one could list a good thing about her mom, unless it was related to her beauty. Delila never understood why she choose her to adopt, why in the states there was plenty of children that needed a home, it wasn’t until she overheard her one day talking to a maid, that Delila was more or less a sign of...charity, that she was the ‘Look what a good person I am, I adopted this brown child.” To say their relationship is strained would be an understatement. 

Pet(s): None. 

• QUESTIONNAIRE •

Optimistic or pessimistic? Optimistic. 

Disorderly and messy or methodical and neat? A combo of the two, while she is a very neat person, her years in the military taught her, she had a messy side to her, her room the best example. 

Book smart or street smart? Both.

Leader or follower? Leader.

Day or night person? Day.

Cat or dog person? Both

Coffee or tea? Hot coffee, Iced tea. 

What do they wear to bed? Normally nothing, but if something it’s just a big t-shirt. 

Do they snore? No. 

What position do they sleep in? On her stomach or on left side. 

Which side of the bed do they sleep on? Right. 

Can they multi-task or must they focus on one subject at a time? Multitask. 

Do they get restless when things are too quiet or do they favour solitude and silence? Hates silence, gets very restless unless it is silence with a persons she is comfortable with .

What would completely break them?  Being overtaken by her mental illness, never finding love because she is her own worst enemy. 

What was the best thing in their life? Her life in the Philippines. 

[imgoldielikehawn]

Tough Love Pt 10

Here is part 10 Beauties! things are definitely heating up between Eric an Aadya!!! @sparklemichele @ariwolff14 @readsalot73 @jaihardy @pathybo

Master List Here

As always feedback is appreciated and Enjoy muah!!!

Tattoo Inspo <3

The door to my apartment slid open and we walked inside. I watched Eric as he looked around the room. “You know, even for a member of Dauntless your apartment is on the dark and creepy side” he cocked his head to the side.  “That’s because I’m on the dark and creepy side” I smiled fondly at my little cave. “Should I be scared?” he asked staring at my shelf full of sketch books. “Always” I replied.  “Are those Sketchbooks?” he asked reaching for the first one. “Yes. Some of those date back to when I was a young girl” I sighed sitting on the couch. I watched him flip through the first journal and then a second one and third and so on and so on. When he finished he turned and looked at me, his eyes hard but his words gentile. “These are beautiful. I had no idea you had other talents besides battle!”  I smiled “Thank you. That’s a private part of my life that I don’t share with anyone”   “Except me of course. What other things do I need to know?” he asked coming to sit across from me in the armchair.  “I suppose there are a few things” I said.  He didn’t respond and I knew this was a silent cue for me to divulge all my deepest and darkest secrets. So I started from the beginning. “My father is Marcus as you know and my mother was Adalia. She died when I was ten years old in battle. But what you don’t know is that I was not an only child” When I said this his eyes widened with curiosity.  

“My brother and I are the same age and if it wasn’t for you we probably would have ranked first and second during initiation” Eric was often seen as all brawn and no brains but this was not the case. The realization crossed his face immediately.  “It all makes sense. I thought that you two were together for a while. Now that I think about it you two look so much alike besides well a few obvious things” He became uncomfortable.  “Four and I don’t share the same biological mother but when my father found out about Four from his mother, he took him in and my mother is the only one he has ever known.  He knows that his blood mother still walks this earth but he does not acknowledge her” I sighed.  

‘That’s insane. So how come your father never acknowledges Four in public?”  He frowned. “Four blames my father for my mother’s death” I looked out the window. “We can stop talking about her if you want” he said.  “It’s alright. The subject of my mother is usually off limits so it’s been a while since I really sat and talked about her” I grimaced.  “So how is your relationship with your father?” he asked.  “Strange. When he and Four disconnected I became his “Son” but now that I’ve reached full womanhood he requests other things of me” there was a tone of frustration in my voice as I said this.  “Like what?”  He raised an eyebrow.

“Well for one, he thinks it improper for me to hold such standing in the council at my age. My father believes it is time for me to stand down from leadership and battle” I snickered. “For what though?” he frowned.  “To be a proper woman. To wed and bare children” I said flatly.  “Well, I can’t say that I don’t agree but you should also be able to choose when that time is right for yourself” I stared at him, amused by the boldness of his statement.   “I see. But as you know my duty is first to my faction and all else must come second” I said firmly.  “That was before you and I came to be. Things must be different now” he said sitting up straight.   I leaned forward feeling on edge. These were serious topics of conversation “Different how?” I questioned.  “I will court you. I will protect you. In time I will ask for your hand and you will say yes. Children will follow” he said in a strict tone.  

Quite honestly I expected nothing less from him. He was old fashioned in the sense of where we stood as men and women. I was taken aback by his statement about children. “Suppose you court me and you no longer find yourself interested in the rest of the things you mentioned, what then?” I challenged him. “That won’t happen and here is why, many women I have lusted after and desired but non such as you.  I also have never been with anyone who could meet my temper with one of their own. You were made for me and I for you, simple as that. He said rising.  “Come, you’ve had a late night and tomorrow we have an early morning” a small part of me wanted to object and kick him out.

We were just starting out and I could tell this would be the baseline of our relationship. He would always expect me to take orders from him and that burned my soul inside. I attempted to humble myself as I took his outstretched hand and followed him into my bedroom. As we reached the bed I thought to myself, was this still my bed or was everything ours from now on. I was feeling very overwhelmed and I did not lie down when he beckoned me to do so. “This is too much. Too soon, I need space!” I said in a rush as I turned and ran from the bedroom and out of the apartment.  I stopped running when I got to Tris and Fours apartment. I knocked and Four answered. “Dya, are you alright?” he asked puling me inside.  “I’m just overwhelmed right now and I didn’t have anywhere else to go” I walked over to the couch and flopped down. Tris came out into the living room when she heard my voice.  “You have an entire apartment” she said, Clearly she had overheard.

 “Not exactly” I sighed. “Start talking” Four said crossing his arms.  I started to tell them about what happened at dinner and while Tris looked annoyed Four looked furious. Neither of them said a word as I continued.  When I told them about mine and Eric’s personal conversation they both looked shocked however, I made sure to leave out the part about mine and Four’s shared parentage. Tris was the first to break the silence “He wants to marry you! Eric Coulter wants to marry you and have children!” her grin was enormous. Four looked just as amused “You finally met a man who captures your interest and he wants nothing more than to make you into an honest woman!” they were both laughing at me. “This is not funny you guys. Dauntless is everything to me. I don’t have time to be an “Honest woman”. Not for anyone” I frowned.

“Then make time. You can’t be this daring heroine for the rest of your life Aadya. I know how he feels about you. He’s got a tattoo of your first initial for fucks sake” he sighed. “It will end in disaster you know” I said quietly.  Tris sighed. “You don’t know that. You’ve been a warrior for so long that you don’t know how to let someone else be for you” as she finished her sentence there was a knock at the door.  Four went to answer it and in walked Eric. The shared a look and then a nod. Tris waggled her eyebrows and I motioned for her to stop.  I got up from my seat and stood completely still.  Eric did too and the silence in the room seemed to engulf us all. Tris grabbed Four and they both went back into the bedroom and closed the door.

“You run from me. Why?” he questioned.   Holding my head high I said “ Your talk of the future made me uncomfortable”  “You could have just told me that instead of running scared” he frowned  “I do not run from any man… in a fight” I said barely above a whisper. “This is not battle. This is not war. It’s me and you” I could hear the malice creeping into his voice. “I don’t want to have talks of the future” I demanded.  “We will talk of the future and we will talk of the past and I will carry you down the aisle if I have to. You Are Mine” he walked up to me and held my chin in his strong hand.

 I pulled my chin out of his hand and he snatched my face right back, this time with force.  “Stop this. I’m not in the mood”   I looked up at him defiantly “That makes two of us”  He held my face so close to his so that only I would be able to hear his next words. “I will break you. I make you feel things you don’t understand. You will bend to my will without realizing it. You need me and the sooner you accept that the better” With those words he released me and left from the apartment. I felt angry because I did not fight back. Eric was right. I had no idea what  was happening to me.  I left without saying goodbye to Tris and Four. Walking back to my own apartment gave me time to think. I was standing in the hallway outside my door. I felt so unlike myself. I felt vulnerability and shame. I felt confused and unsure, like I was standing in the middle of a crown naked.  I took a deep breath and entered the pin code, the doors slid open and yet there I stood, outside my own door not sure if I should enter.

Eric stepped forth from the shadows. He was beautiful. He wore nothing but a pair of plain black sleep pants. I walked forward just enough for the door to slide shut behind me.  He did not move.  “If you come to me from where you stand, you will not run from me again” he said “If you don’t I will leave and you will never have to worry about me again”.  My white hair cascaded down my back. My arms were by my side, my feet were firmly planted but I felt myself take the first step towards him. I had everything I had ever wanted in life.  I was strong; I was the best at everything I did.  I held the head seat of the council and now something that I never thought I wanted stood in front of me. I was already the queen of my castle and for the first time I wanted a king to share it with.  

“Do you know who I am?” I asked when I was four steps away from him.  “You are Aadya, the highest council leader of Dauntless, a warrior and a beautiful woman.” he finished and I could see his striking eyes from where I stood.  “Then tell me, Why am I coming to you?” I asked holding my head high. Closing the space between us Eric curled a fist in my hair jerking my head back and planted a kiss on my neck. Lifting me from the ground he carried me into the bedroom.  

When he slammed me down on the bed I could already feel my skin start to tingle. Eric took his time exploring every inch and curve of my body. He kissed every battle scar and breathed in my scent. He paused at my naval and looked up at me “I am going to devour you” he planted a kiss on my right hip “I Am going to fuck you” he planted a kiss on my left hip.  “You Will say my name” he placed a kiss right above my panty line.  “You are mine and this is mine” he pulled my panties to the side and kissed my pussy lips making me squirm.  “This is Mine” he flicked my clit with the tip of his tongue.  If I had a soul before getting head from Eric.. I sure in the fuck didn’t afterwards.

It’s rare you meet someone who can make you shake and you haven’t even got off yet, but when you do find them it changes everything. I was arching my back, digging holes in my sheets and through all this he did not stop. Not even when I sat halfway up on the bed. He just pulled me right back down and held me as I cursed. After coming for the third time, he pulled me off the bed by my hair. My knees hit the ground and he grabbed my hair again. I took Eric into my mouth which was a task in itself considering his size. I had never been on my knees for anyone but I let Eric fuck my mouth without a single complaint. The sound of his moans quickly filled the room and he slammed into the back of my throat.  When he came I made sure I didn’t let a single drop spill. We lay on the Bed together afterwards until I got up to shower.  

As the water hit my skin I felt my entire body unwind. The sex with Eric was exhausting and even though I was in the best shape of my life, this was a different kind of work out. Eric was a handful.  I didn’t hear the bathroom door open but I saw him through the frosted glass.  He watched me as though he had every right to observe me during this normally private time.  “Can I help you” I raised an eyebrow. “I’m here for the show thanks” he smirked. “I am not doing anything impressive” I frowned. “You don’t have to” he shrugged. “I don’t understand you” I shook my head. “You don’t have to; you just have to be mine” he held out a towel for me as I shut off the water.  “I am yours” I grabbed the towel and wrapped it around myself. I dried my hair and then my body all under Eric’s watchful eyes.  When I finished I pulled one of my favorite T shirts over my head. We brushed our teeth together and then got into bed. Pulling me over to him he said “In the morning we have a meeting with your father”. “Together?” I sat up annoyed. “Yes. He has news” he pulled me back down to his chest.  I groaned and he smacked my ass. “Quit being so stubborn” he kissed my hair and my body finally shut down as I gave in to sleep…

[biebervibez]

Second choice

Request: Y/N and Hailey were best friends until Y/N realized that Hailey was only using Y/N to get closer to Justin. Will Justin and Y/N’s friendship be affected when she tells him this?

Warning: a little long

***** “Justin, don’t you get it? She used me just to get close to you!” You yell in frustration.

Justin doesn’t look up as he was too preoccupied tuning his guitar. “I really don’t have the time for your excuses, if you can’t handle Hailey and I being in a relationship then-”

“Then what?” You say interrupting him before he can continue. You knew where this was going but you were too guliable to think otherwise so you decided to test him.

Justin puts his guitar aside as he takes a deep breath before looking at you. “Then we can’t be friends…”

Can’t be friends? You thought to yourself. This was just getting ridiculous, you didn’t know wether to be upset or just to laugh about it. The sentence kept repeating in your head causing your eyes to water.

“Are you fucking serious?!” You say upset, but you tried your best to contain your emotions. “You chose her over your own best friend?!” You say raising your voice. You were hurt but you weren’t going to let him know but it was helpless, your emotions were getting the best of you.

Justin shakes his head and takes a step towards you. “You’re the one who made it come to this…if you weren’t so selfish-”

“Woah, woah, woah….selfish? I’m the one being selfish?” You ask surprised as you take a step back. You chuckle before continuing. “Was I not the one who considered your feelings before my own? I could have just left this whole thing and not tell you, thinking maybe you would realize on your own that she was just going to use you like she used me but I didn’t…I wanted to tell you because I didn’t want to see you hurt. Hailey was my best friend but if it meant losing you…I just couldn’t be her friend anymore even if it tore me but I mean, maybe I am just a selfish idiot.” You say as tears rolled down your face. Justin looks at you, and your swore you saw guilt but he quickly looks away.

“Can you please leave…” he says quietly, and you felt your heart shatter once more. After all you guys been through, he ended it just like that. You were the second choice…. yet you put him first.

Your friendship with Hailey meant the world to you but your friendship with Justin was a whole other level. He was the one you grew up with, the one you told your most darkest deepest secrets, the one you can stay up till 4 am talking about the most random at stuff, and through all that you fell for him.

“No need to tell me, I was just going to”. You say harshly before storming out the door.

You continued to walk without stopping until you reached your car. Suddenly you just bursted into tears, you held onto your car door as you yell in frustration.

You felt so many feelings at the same time and it made you sick. You slowly got into your car, and sat there quietly, and emotionless. After a few minutes, you finally calmed down. You took a deep breath before driving away. **** *at your house*

“He’s such a jerk!” You yell angrily as you throw a pillow across the living room. You were now circled by your and Justin’s closest friends, Tyga, Fredo, Kendall, Kylie, Za, Khalil, etc.

“Shhh, forget about him” Kendall says as she gently pats your back.

“Who do they think they are? T-that bitch…how could she just humiliate me like that and act so clueless about it!” You say, as you angrily bit into your chocolate bar that Za gave you.

You suddenly hear chuckling, you look up to see the guys trying their hardest not to laugh. “You think this is funny?” You ask glaring at them, they quickly stop laughing as they shake their heads no. “That’s what I thought” you say before finishing your last piece of chocolate.

“You don’t need them, you’re better off without them.” Kylie says, you watch as everyone agrees. “Yeah, you have us” Ryan says, and everyone agrees once more.

“You don’t understand…” you say quietly, but it was loud enough for them to hear.

“Understand what?” Khalil asks, and suddenly the room got quiet. You felt your cheeks heat up as all the attention was now on you.

“Guys, I think us girls can take it from here,” Kylie says, as they all stand up before leading me upstairs. “Wooooow,” we hear the guys say in union causing us to giggle. ***** **in the bedroom**

“Why are we up here?” You ask confused before taking a seat on your bed.

Kylie takes a seat next to you as Kendall closes the door. “Y/N…there’s something else that’s bugging you, it’s not just the whole Hailey-Justin thing.” Kylie says gently.

You felt tears peak through the corner of your eyes as your breaths were becoming short. Suddenly Kendall and Kylie wrap their arms around you, trying their best to comfort you. That’s the moment, you couldn’t hold it in.

**back with the boys**

Justin’s POV:

After the argument Y/N and I had, I knew what I did to her was wrong. She was only concerned about me. I even confronted Hailey about the whole thing to find out the Y/N was telling the truth. I felt like an idiot, I was so harsh to her and now she probably hates me.

I decided to go to her house and apologize even if I knew I was probably the last person she wanted to talk to. As I made it to her house, I noticed there were other cars parked in the driveway. I observed closely and realized those were my friends cars.

Shit…well I’m probably in trouble. Even though they were my best friends aswell, they will still kick my ass for hurting Y/N.

I reached the doorstep and doorbelled. Tyga opens the door, his reaction changes from similing to frowning. “What are you doing here?” He asks bitterly. “Come on Man…I’m here to apologize.” I say desperately, after a few seconds have gone by he finally lets me in.

I walked in and I was welcomed by a bunch of glares from the guys. I swear if Y/N did me wrong they probably wouldn’t even care. I repeated what I said to Tyga to them. They looked at me uncertain before signalling she was upstairs. I looked at them smiling before thanking them. “I swear Justin if I hear her cry, you’re out of here”. Khalil says, I glared at him. “Uh I mean love you bro…” he says quickly causing the other guys including myself to laugh.

I quickly thanked them again before running upstairs. Just as I was about to open her door, I overheard her saying things. I knew it was wrong to eavesdrop but I bet she would remain silent if I walked in.

***** **back with the girls**

You heard the doorbell, but the three of you didn’t mind it. After a few minutes you finally had the courage to tell them what was wrong.

“I’m tired of being the second choice, the one who gets chosen if the other one is taken. I’m tired of the fact that I fall in love with so many guys that are close to me to end up being broken-hearted at the end. It fucking hurts to let people get so close to you, so close that they can just rip your heart out any time without mercy. Every time I’m the one who gets hurt…it’s either because I’m not good enough, I’m not perfect, I’m not beautiful-”

“Shhh that’s enough…” Kendall says as she pulls you in for a hug. Kylie quickly wipes away a tear as she hated seeing you like that. She grabs your hands gently, “Y/N you are not a second choice, and you will never be. Take it from the two of us you have always been first. You are such and amazing, beautiful, kind, most down to earth person and you don’t need a man to tell you that. They may have been a lot of heartbreaks in the past but that’s what makes you stronger, and if you feel weak…Kendall and I also even the guys will be right behind you pushing you to get back on your feet.” She says causing you to tear more, you squeeze her hand gently to let her know you appreciated all those words. “We love you Y/N, we’re like sisters…don’t ever forget that.” Kendall says. “Aww I freaking love you guys…” you say as you pull them in for a hug causing all three of you to giggle.

Suddenly you hear someone knock on the door. “Go away!” Kendall yells causing you to giggle. “Uh it’s Justin,” and the three of you look at eachother surprised. You nod at the girls letting them know it was okay. Kendall and Kylie hug you once more before opening the door. You watch as Justin has his hands in his pockets, “can I please talk to Y/N?” He quietly says.

“If you hurt her, you’re going to wish you never came here…” Kendall says, causing you to chuckle. The girls run downstairs, leaving the two of you alone.

“Seems like I’ve been getting death threats all day…” Justin says trying to lighten the mood, but you remained silent as you looked away.

“I’m sorry” he says breaking the silence. You look up to see that his expression was pure guiltness. “I’m sorry for what I said and for not believing you. It was wrong for me to push you away like that when you were only concerned. I’m sorry, you didn’t deserve that.” He says sincerely.

“Y/N I know that’s not what you’re mainly upset about…uh before you get mad…I overheard you, Kylie and Kendall talking”, you suddenly whack him with a pillow, “you fucking eavesdropper!” You yell interrupting him.

“No, no, no! Y/N listen to me carefully, yes I eavesdropped-ow!” Justin yells as you hit him once again with a pillow. “Hit me once again and I’ll tickle you so hard.” He says sternly, you slowly put the pillow down, glaring at him for knowing you were ticklish.

“As I was saying, Y/N why do you feel that way? It pains me to see that you think of yourself like that. In fact you’re the opposite of the things you said. Y/N you know you’re always first to me, whether it’s for anything. I know sometimes I don’t show it especially today but I swear Y/N I would take a bullet for you. That’s how much you mean to me…from day one, you’re the one who has always been there for me, through my happiest moments to my bullshit ones. Everything I’ve experienced was with you and I’m so honoured that they were spent with with you…I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Justin says, you quickly wipe away your tear. “What are you trying to say?” You ask confused.

Justin hesitates before taking a step closer to you, he kneels infront of your bed before taking your hands. “I’m in love with you…”

You look at him shocked, before shaking your head. You get up slowly before looking at him sadly. “What? Now that Hailey is out of the picture, you’re going to crawl back to me? I don’t want to be a second choice!” You yell angrily. Justin walks to you before grabbing your hands once again. “Y/N you’re not a second choice, I’ve had feelings for you since you walked into my life but I held it in thinking it wasn’t going to work out. Why do you think you’re the one I always want to hang out with? Or how I get so overprotective when you have a date. Why do you think I call you in the middle of the night, it’s because I miss you and I want to hear your voice. Why do you think I can’t spend a day without you by my side? I love you that’s why, when you walked out that door it was one of the worst feelings ever, and I never want it to happen-”

You gently grabbed his face, as you press your lips onto his. You felt Justin smile through the kiss, as he places his arms around your waist pulling you in closer. You wrap your arms around his neck, as he deepens the kiss. You both pull away to catch your breath. He looks at you, “you will always be my first choice…don’t forget that.” He says gently causing you to smile. He pulls you in for one more kiss.

You pull away before looking at the door confused. “What’s wrong?” Justin asks worried. You walk towards the door, opening it. You watch as the guys fell on the floor and the girls on top of them.

Justin looks at you then back at them. “Uh Uhm we were just checking if the door was stable…and it is.” Za quickly says as they all immediately get up.

“why the hell do you all eavesdrop?” You say causing everyone to laugh.

Enjoy! Requested by @sumaiyah10