#'what about 97-' A NEW ONE. THAT IS NOT A SEQUEL

[zehecatl]

we do actually fr need a new X-Men cartoon

[not-the-cheese]

one sentence(ish) summaries of every magnus archive episode PART 2

(eps 61-110) thank u for the funny comments and tags on the last part i love u guys

the rest of these may take a while as i've caught up to where i am currently in the podcast but i will finish them like in a month i promise

----

61. the thrilling sequel to man does not open coffin: man DOES open coffin.

62. surely this doctor can find an easier way to scam people out of money than putting them in a little book.

63. THE DARK ATE MY BROTHER IN LAW.

64. this is possibly the plot of laura croft tomb raider

65. mmm crumchy

66. what's the opposite of an unboxing video

67. as close to a coffeeshop au as you're going to get from this podcast

68. Doctors hate him! Man REFUSES to die from tuberculosis!

69. your college's psych department has the worst idea ever.

70. reverse death note

71. not even death will stop this woman from taking the british subway

72. man doesn't want to be low key racist in his last moments before getting eaten

73. police versus the second coming of dark jesus

74. lady is haunted by an ad for coffee

75. mike crew says "uh fuck it let's just put this guy on a skyscraper forever"

76. ryan from buzzfeed unsolved breaks into a train yard and suffers consequences

77. you're not a enough of a bitch to be my real mom

78. man gets harassed by his cousin and then exorcises him

79. you know that chase scene in scooby doo with the doors

80. stupid idiot motherfucking jurgen leitner

81. i have been personally victimized by the sequel to the hungry hungry caterpillar

82. pov: elias threatens to cancel you

83. mannequin takes matters into its own hands after people don't like its pitch for a new window display

84. a hoarder put newspaper on my friend's face :(

85. hey there's maybe a little man upon these stairs?

86. man gets got by a squiggly thing in the dark.

87. plumber is so oblivious to spooky happenings around him that it possibly saves his life.

88. guys i think this guy likes to dig

89. lesbian investment banker finds a new, less evil job: arson!

90. guy who turns people's bones starts a gym where he promises not to turn your bones! (he is lying)

91. i was stalked by lightning for 10 years and i all i got were these stupid scars

92. jonah magnus is a bad friend // another day another elias slay

93. ocd is no match for purple fuzz

94. let the bodies drop gently to the floor let the bodies drop gently to the floor

95. im so sorry my brain refuses to remember what the war ones were about but i think one guy got gently kissed on the forehead so that's pretty nice.

96. diversity wins! the not-quite-human delivery men who stole your identity and business are maybe gay?

97. man gets gaslighted by an entire town about a hole

98. 🎶mister sandman bring me a dream, actually don't, please stay far from me 🎶

99. another one bites the dust

100. archival assistants face off against the general public (they lose)

101. jon finally levels up high enough to unlock an eldritch horror's tragic backstory

102. LOCAL MAN MARRIES BUG

103. peppa eats a clown and they cover her in concrete instead of congratulating her.

104. pennywise stole my brother's skin

105. it's world war z baby

106. Something Big Is In Space.

107. man is interrogated about the time he saw thomas the train roasts people alive and also sans is there

108. actor is stalked by mask who liked his monologue so much that it tells its mask friends to come watch.

109. sometimes a family is just a serial killer's daughter and that guy who maybe killed some vampires

110. yeah man those spiders be eating

Part 1 |

[popculturebuffet]

Top 12 Animated Episodes of 2024

Happy New Year You happy people! For those new to this blog or finding it for the first time, each year I do a list of the best episodes of cartoons i've watched that year. I do episodes as my short attention span means I finish maybe 20 if i'm lucky, so a top 12 list feels a bit more hollow. So starting in 2020 I started covering the top 20 episodes of animation, to celebrate the highest highs each year in my faviorite industry in a fun way. As i've turned away from covering shows as they've come out, it's also a way to check in on the various shows this year I haven't gotten to cover yet, and is something I look forward to every year and i'm delighted to have you all aboard.

So how this works: each year I normally took 5 episodes of each show i'd watched, narrowed them down and eventually sorted out the top 20. This year I slimmed things down: Top 12 instead of 20, 3 episodes per show, ready, FIGHT. This is so I could fit the whole shebang into one post and hopefully do a best film list, more convient for me and you.

Before we get to the good stuff though, let's talk about this year in tv animation. It was the best of times it was the blurst of times.

Let's get the bad out of the way first: Warner Bros Discovery continued to downplay animation: Jellystone and Tiny Toon Adventures Looniversity got no promotion and a halloween special for the latter never materalized despite being promoted. It's sadly likely neither show will make it past their current season. It's buisnes as usual but it gets no less tiring and i'm greatful I hae a friend with a server for all the shows they dump as I get the feeling he's gonna have to add two more next year.

What's new is that WBD has all but killed Cartoon Network. While the Network still TECHNICALLY exists, most of it's originals have either endd or are winding down, with Craig of the Creek's finale delayed to this year just cuz and Invincible Fight Girl moved to adult swim. It's clear what was once a pillar of my childhood is being stripped for parts, with any sequels coming to max, itself sinking rapidly into the earth after Zaslav sold it's foundation to buy a cool watch he found on the internet.

Somehow worse was Disney. Oh fucking boy disney. I've talked about this a few times this year but to recap: Disney has peaked in homophobia and transphobia this year, firing X-Men 97 showrunner Beau Demayo for being openly gay and not just rubber stamping things for them but wanting to write actually challenging content, overworking the staff of Inside Out 2 while making them tone down Riley's crush on her hockey captain , including aging the character up because they GENUINELY assume lightyear failed because it had lesbians in it

Shelving a trans focused episode of moon girl and devil dinosaur, and shelving a trans storyline in upcoming show win or loose. Disney had already proved with owl house they weren't an ally but this year proved the company is DEEPLY homo and transphobic and deeply stupid, scrapping finished content just to appease a few bigots. I may still watch their shows as the creators had no part in this (and as seen with X-Men 97, MGADD and Win or Loose, were trying badly to do something good and got punished for it), but my opinon of the company is at an all time low. And given they supported the don't say gay bill, shot next to a concentration camp and other horrors, that's saying a LOT.

Animation in genreal faces an uncertain future with shows being shelved, and the animation guild having to fight tooth and nail to get better contracts, with the specter of ai being a deep exestential threat.

Thankfully there is some light in these dark times. For starters the Animation Guild successfuly reneigoated their contracts with more residuals, protections and protections from Ai. And content wise animation seems to be in one of it's best years. 2023 is a hard one to beat but 2024 certainly tried.

We had some all time great premeires as the superhero boom that's currently in crisis in theaters reached i'ts peak in animation: In addition to the returns of Invincible, Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur and My Adventures with Superman (Apologizes for missing that one), we had the premeries of the delightfully noir and mature Batman Caped Crusader , the solid and fun Creature Commandos that proves the DCU's commitment to animation and the kickass and thought provoking X-Men 97, a series that did my boy Scotty justice after far too long. In a year when superhero content is dry as a bone theatrically with only Deadpool and Wolverine as a drop in that desert, it was nice to see Superhero Animation back with a vengance and with Spider-Man next year and Invincible Season 3 airing in one piece around the same time

Outside of superheroes we got Fairly Odd Parents a New Wish, Jentry Chau Vs the Underworld and Invincible Fight Girl.. all shows I didn't get to but not for a lack of intrest and intend to rectify that this year. I did get to Hazbin Hotel, which after a long wait finally opened it's doors to a solid first season with a god tier cast and soundtrack. I mean giving me more keith david singing is more than enough but damn this show brought it.

Also making it's grand return was Total Drama, a show I missed and that thankfully returned better than ever... in the US anyway. Everywhere else got it last year or earlier and both seasons of this reboot. Still it's an excellent reboot and while it didn't make this list, it was a great return to form after two terrible seasons and a long hiatus to make canadian muppet babies.

There were many great returns: Helluva Boss delivered a solid arc that flipped up the status quo and gave us three stone cold classics and... uh the other two. Vox Machina had some amazing moments as the chroma conclace conflict concluded, Jellystone and Great North delivered the greatest seasons of their runs, the former giving us the return of an american hero. All hail brak! Simpsons gave me a season that's kept me tuning in more than not and continues it's renissance while Bobs Burgers continued it's own.

2024 despite all the strife and terrible shit, was a fantastic year for animation, a year where despite every company devaluing the practice and being a dick, it soared higher. While I may be worn out with how companies treat animation and the political landscape, ther'es some refuge in how GOOD animation is and how it only has higher to climb next year. So let's celebrate these highest highs under the cut shall we?

12. The Gatekeeper (Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur, S2-E0) "How many doors do I have to break through before they stop locking me out?"

I've reviewed this episode in full shortly after it's leak so i'll be brief:The Gatekeeper is a masterpiece. It's not subtle but given it comes from a company that shelved the episode because they "want parents to have conversations about these topics when their ready" forgetting that some parents are bigots who will never be ready for that conversation, it dosen't need to be. It's a beautiful story about how you don't need to take the weight of the world's bigotry on your own, how being YOU, trans, nonbinary, queer, is okay and your not burdening your friends by letting them into your fight to be you. It's also shockingly funny for an episode with this heavy an a-plot, with Casey trying to stall desperately. Leading to this beautiful moment

The Gatekeeper is only this low because the escape room stuff, which is a not sizeable chunk of the episode isn't super engaging, not helped by deadly escape room plots being kinda common these days. It's salvaged by it's metaphor at least: that transphobes and other bigots will just keep moving the goal post so fucking break it over your knee. This episdoe is excellent and I encourage you to find it in the depths of the internet. Disney MIGHT air it, if nothing else than for the backlash, but since we really CAN'T count on disney for shit when it comes to queer issues, it's going here. If you want a more in depth dive into this episode, lookee here

11. Apology Tour (Helluva Boss S2, Episode 9)

"I don't think you meant to hurt me, cause I don't think it meant a thing at all"

Helluva Boss finally finished season 2 this year.. and I finally finished season 2 around the same time as Sinsmas as I'd sat on the show for too long. My depression's been peaking this year

So I shoved the show aside. I regret that as season 2b is for the most part excellent and the decision to wait a while and release the episodes more consitantly was a smart one: it not only gave Helluva some space from it's little big sibling's big debut, but it meant while the episodes still had a long weight they weren't left to be picked apart for months. Mostly a month.

The first half of the season was good, but had issues: sloppy pacing, the series worst episode, not really following up on the bombshell ending of season 1 from Blitzo's perspective, it was good.. but the cracks were setting in. And while some still remain in this batch, it's damn strong helped by an arc tha'ts been built up all series: Blitzo, the o is silent, everyone's faviorite dumpster fire imp murder machine and Stolas, everyone's faviorite disaster gay prince who thinks like a romance novel splitting up. Break up is a bit strong given the transactional sex nature, but it's a bomb that was in wait: Blitzo has a bad habit of pushing anyone who cares about hi m away and Stolas really never got to actually KNOW Blitzo as a person, seeing him as a way out of his awful marriage and an idealized prince and not an actual person whose a bit fucked up nor. With Neither adressing their actually problems, an explosion was ineveitble.

Hence Apology Tour, the fallout of the explosion after Stolas attempt at a three point grand romantic gesture brought out the dick in blitz, who couldn't fathom someone being nice, lashed out and not understanding why Blitzo thought so little of him , Stolas slammed the door in the fancy magic man way rather than actually talk about it.

Full Moon has a great ending and the blitzo subplot is graet.. but it wasted a lot of time with those two assfaces and collin. Apology Tour thankfully more than makes up for it, a character piece focusing on both men as they deal with the breakup poorly: Stolas tries to just keep distance, while Blitzo shows up, tries to get sex to prove he's worth something to his inferority complex and screams at Stolas for being gay. Blitz WANTS to make up for things.. but is so determined to not actually talk about his feelings he's at peak asshole.

So when Stolas actually cuts deep, asking if Blitz is even CAPABLE of apologizing, Blitzo does what he tends to do: be a dick in a showy way just to get back at someone instead of engaging why their pissed at him. The montage of him apologizing to his enmies is fun, that martha ms mayberry thing needs more shading in in season 3... like just a short or something to establish what the fuck is going on there.

The episodes heart though is an I Hate Blitzo party Verosika throws. The queen is back, looking fine and getting some depth: while she was a full on antagonist in her first apperance and there to make a bad day worse in her second, here we see some humanity from everyone's faviorite succubus: she geninely tries to comfort Stolas who feels miserable, wasting his one night of the year pass to earth on a party where everyone wallows in their hatred of Blitzo an ex that Stolas makes clear he's not over. Verosika is TRYING to geninely help, but can't grasp that the poor bird is still in mourning over what he thought he had and stabbing a cake in the dick isn't helping.

What helps is the episodes best segment and the second best song of the season, possibly even best Two Minute's Notice is just.. heavy competition. All 4 U is Bryce Pinkham's finest performance: while "You'll be Okay" showed off his pipes back in episode 2, All 4 U is a raw song, a indie rock guitar ballad where Stolas lays out his pain: how he realizes now Stolas is both a motherfucker (As Verosika and Vortex helpfully chime on chorus) and how he never actually meant to hurt him.. because their relationship meant nothing. It's a painful beautiful song.. and also dosne't asauge Stolas of his own guilt. While Verosika and Vortex TRY to blame it all on Blitz, Stolas is PAINFULLY aware he fucked up. Surrounded by memories of EVERY time he's clearly realized Blitz.. was never into this and he tried too hard: all the times he demeaned him without meaning too nad hurt him... he gets the rejection wasn't all on Blitz. Blitz is an asshole, easily, but Stolas is in pain partly because he KNOWS he did it and partly because he still WANTS him. He can't STOP wanting him. And it hurts.. and Blitz hurts realizing he was a bad person.

It leads to the second best scene of the episode as Blitz comforts Stolas, whose too drunk to put up a fuss but unloads.. and we get my faviorite exchange. A truly painful one that outlines why this didn't work. " I want to be someone's someone! I want to feel wanted, in a romantic way! Like, I'm standing in the rain at a train station and someone runs up shouting "HARRIET! DON'T GO ON THAT TRAIN! IT'S GOING TO LONDON AND I CANNOT BE WITHOUT YOU!" " "Oh Stolas.. that' sa romcom"

I've been where Stolas is, that need for someone , to fill the void inside.. not getting that won't help you get BETTER. And Blitz realizes that.. and realizes what it did mean, geninely trying to apologize.

The talk with verosika is no slouch, with Blitz trying to ocne again put up walls. We even get a nice rebuke of the whole "Well of course their assholes their in hell" argument that gets flung around. When Blitz tries that Verosika rebuffs it and reveals to us why she's so hung up on him: She said I love you and he ran three rings to wrath and maxed out her credit cards on shitty horse riding lessons. It confronts Blitz with the fact that while he belivies he's unloveable.. he's not.. and the number of people he's hurt proves it. He wants to be better.. but he dosen't know how. he's patched things up with one ex.. but his other seems to be moving on. That last part whent nowhere.. but there's still that pain realizing he ALMOST had something, and his own nerousis fucked it up. For now anyway but we'll get to that

10. Remember It (X-Men 97, S1 Episode 5) "The Names Gambit Mon Ami.... Remember It"

Since it aired it's felt like Remember It making this list was ineveitble. It's the episode that took X-Men 97 from a fantastic show, to the best x-men show of all time. An episode that deftly and perfectly adapts one of the defining moments of the comics, the massacre of genosha, with it's own style and flair, broke our hearts with Gambit's tragic end and got nominated for an emmy with it's creator barred from them because Disney would rather frame a man for misconduct than let him get his flowers and the Emmy were just.. okay with this.

Grumbling aside Remember It is a masterpiece and one of the best wham episodes i've ever seen. For those as not terminally on tv tropes as I am a Wham Episode is an episode of tv that changes the show fundemntally or promises to, with a shocking reveal or a big plot twist or what have you.

This episodes secret sauce though is hiding that fact. It sneak attacks you as the first half is a pretty standard plot following up on things from the season: Cyclops continuing his relationship with Maddy, the clone of Jean despite still being married to jean and her less than happy reaction to their psychic affair, Jean trying to come onto Logan, and of course more of the magneto-rouge-gambit love triangle.

Yeahhh the reason this is so low is the Magneto-Rogue-Gambit Love triangle sucks. I went deep into why in my review of 97 Season 1, but the short version: it makes Magneto into a groomer as while Rogue is an adult in her 20's, he's still old enough to be her foxy grandpa and still manipulates her and in present day, his method of wooing her is making her queen of a foreign nation without asking. In a show that has easily the best Magneto in animation, i't sa blotch. It's intended to make him human and put rogue's desire for sexy time against her connection with remy. It's a good idea but the excution is just baffling and brings this episode down a peg.

What keeps it on this list is it's good parts The first is scott motherfucking summer in his most accurate adaptation yet, a capable leader and world class badass whose an emotinally stunted mess, laying out why mutant lives arne't NORMAL in a rant.

The biggun of course.. is the bait and switch. In a moment we go from Maddie, Jean's clone long story watch the show, going outside to get a breather.. to her son Nathan running up as full cable begging to save her before being yanked away.. and then Maddie dies. And a lot of others with her.

In a moment reflecting showrunner Beau DeMayo's experinces with the pulse night club shooting and 9/11, we're at the ground floor of a horrifying massacre. The orignal in New X-Men was horrific in how FAST it was. In minutes millions of mutants were dead, the x-men could do nothing in time, and the world changed. Here we're on the ground: three x-men are present along with some of the most powerful mutants in existance.. and they still can do nothing. Magneto whips the monsterous sentinel responsible with a motherfucking train, uses all of his power.. and only dosen't end up dead because the big bad wanted him alive. Rogue, easily one of the strongest x-men and a brick house tha'ts mighty mighty, is swatted aside. Gambit can throw stuff but none can do anything. This sequence is incredible, showing the powerlessness sin such a slaughter and the sheer trauma it puts on someone. It's the kind of event that leaves a bloody mark on history and cannot, SHOULD NOT be forgotten.

And like most massacres against the disinfranchised it only ends in one way.. with more blood. In this case Remy after Rogue FINALLY realized she loved him but never got to say, gets horribly imapled. And graphically. This series does not shy away from violence. And rather than just die he goes out with a quip and making himself an dthe monster he faces blow up real good. The episode ends somberly on Rogue weeping over his death, invoking va lenore zahn's lost of her niece and signaling this series will never be the same. Remember it is fucking brilliant and if you haven't seen x-men 97, please do.

9. The Sign (Bluey S3 Episode 49)

"Am I making a mistake?" "Probably.. but let's make it together" So i'm late the party, but I finally got into Bluey this year, thanks to this very episode. The huge buzz around it's release from fellow animation nerds had me curious so I watched a few that were recommended.. then some more and before I knew it i'd watched most of it's three seasons.

Bluey is a throughly charming show, keenly deserving of it's massive succes. It's a show that's meant for younger viewers, teaches lessons but unlike most shows, it dosen't talk down to young children. it's made in a way adults and older kids can enjoy too, as you can empathize both with the childish wonder of our lead, her sister and thier various friends, relatives and whatever sort of delightful stygian goblin muffin is

And see the adults side. It's a show that somehow covered Bingo imitating any animal she wears a onsie of and the chaos that insues and Chilli's estraingment with her sister who stayed distant because being around her nieces reminded her she can't have children. It's a show that's warm, loving and utterly brilliant.

And given this is me it took me a long time to get to creator Joe Brumm's swan song as I knew it would emotoinally wreck me.. and I was right. The Sign is Bluey's first half hour special, the other episodes being 8 minute shorts all bundled together and while there's an episode after it , it's the proper finale to the season and to Joe Brumm's time as showrunner.

The Sign has been a fully admited test run to see if Bluey could handle a longer story for a movie and even before that movie's recent greenlight, it was clear yes they could. It's helped by picking two massive events in the heeler's life that perfectly mesh together, nicely zigging in and out of each other. It's amazing how well the creators got this episode to just flow, and to keep up a nice array of jokes despite the heavy topics. Bluey's utter joy at getting to ride shotgun and Chilli carefully checking to make sure it's legal (and a police officer doing the same thing later), is such a briliant gag. It also has plenty of muffin, always a plus.

The first is a big downer: Bandit's gotten what he feels is a better job, and is uprooting the family for it. Bingo is oblivous to the reality of the move and Chilli is trying to be supportive leaving Bluey the only one who wants out. We get a truly soulcrushign scene when she tells her friends, them all hugging her and sobbing. Her teacher Calypso tries to cheer her up with a fable, but she misnterprets rolling with life's hardships as "everything will work out which means we'l lescape. "

This rolls nicely into the other big plot: it's the wedding of Frisky, Chilli's best friend since childhood and Rad, Bandit's brother. The two debuted and had their meet cute in my faviorite episode of the series, Double Babysitter. It's one of the first I watched, entirely because I knew it set up this one... and it is glorious. The two were shown on holiday in the christmas episode and here they get married.

And look I love wedding episodes so much kev paid me to make a top 12 wedding episode lists this year, which has one of my faviorite art pieces i've done

So I was an easy sell, doubly so after seeing Double Babysitter. The episode does well with it: the heeler's family is all present, everyone's ready to go.. then Stripe bandit's younger brother does an oopsie and mentions rad plans to have Frisky move with him to near the oil rig without having actually talked this through with her. Rad is thankfully just very bad with people, but this casues Frisky to snap and the resulting argument sends her on the run and declaring the wedding is off.. which is bad for bluey as Frisky was told to remove the 4sale sign and bluey thinks this stops it because she's a children

We then get some fun shenanignas as Chilli has to go chase our runaway bride and while she intends to leave the kids, who want to go for personal reasons or just a ride in the car, they find a perfectly hilaroius reason not to with every kid nearly telling Rad's mom about the disaster because kids have no filter and thus Chilli is sent on an epic quest

What follows is what clinches the episode: after a bunch of shenanigns that are perfectly hilarous, Chilli goes to her and Frisky's old hang out where they used to think.. and also smoke a dooby or twoobie. It's here we get the perfect intersection: part of Chilli's freakout, besides the entirely resonable pissyness over the rad situation is her best friend leaving.. and Chilli finally reveals she DOSEN'T want to leave. Leave her best friend, the house her family has been raised in.. she just wants ot be supportive. And seeing her mom finally be honest gets Bluey to embrace change. And Rad being a good dude whose just a tad awkawrd, can relate, apologizes and decides not to move.

It's this that helps them blend so perfectly: Rad like Bandit is making a rash decision based on what he thinks what's best and has to see the real effect it has. He likely dosen't back out sooner simply because the house is sold. But when the buyers back out to buy winton's dad's house so he and winton can move in with the terriers nad their mum, shoutout to winton, we get our joyous ending as Bandit rips the fucking sign out, and the family all has takeaway.

The Sign is a callback filled wonderland, a truly heartrending episode and a vicotry lap for bluey's best season. It also has Stripe passing out drunk in the bushes next door because Wendy can't make it out of anything unscathed apparently. Hopefully Stripe isn't heading for divorce. Maybe check the sink mate see if hot dogs are there

Okay while we process that ineveitble divorce onto

8. Sinsmas (Helluva Boss S2, Episode 12)

"Have a great fucking life with him dad"

Back to Helluva Boss and to the most recent episode and one of the series best. Admitely this one was an easy sell for me: it's an octavia episode. Loo Land is still one of my faviorites and while Seeing Stars is a mess, the stuff with her and Loona is heartwrenching and adorable. I hope even with what happened here, Loona still mentors her little sis. The fact i've had the little emo ace on the brain as I ship her with Sasha from amphibia probably dosen't help. My crossover ships are weird and numerous and I find this one adorable and the being ace (not aro) adds a nice lair of things and is something I hope the show brings up outside of the pride photo confirming everyone's sexualities, as we need more ace representation in our animation. She could party with Todd

But while I have my bias... this episode is just plain amazing on it's own. While what i've seen of Mastermind is decent, Andy's plan makes no sense and only works because he was working over someone whose kinks are racisim and classim but the status quo change is phenominal: Stolas is now left broke and powerless, while having proven beyond a shadow of a doubt he cares for blitz, while Blitzo, after episodes of dealing with his darkest demons, realizing he dosen't ruin everything (Ghostfuckers barely didn't make the cut), and becoming a better person for a change, caped off by telling the ruler of hell's vice principal to go fuck himself, has rewarded him with fame, adoration and the knowledge his daughter loves him.

But it leaves thing in an intresting place and while I expected to wait between seasons for the fallout, i'm delighed Sinsmas instead bakes in it. With Andrealphus and Stella keeping Octavia from calling her dad because it's how they get off, Stolas is left spinning out, not dealing with his transition to working class life well, not helped by being out of meds. It' sa nice bit of spiraling as while Stolas sacrifcing himself was brave, and the right thing... it was still an impulse decision that he didn't expect to have to live with. Stolas fully expected to die a brave hero saving the love of his life... and instead has to live with the consequences of doing the right thing and the hurt it brings to the only person in his old life he ever really loved.

The good news is Blitz.. is actually in a place for a healthy relationship, and we see the guy at his sweetest: he makes breakfast, realizes maybe eggs were a poor choice, robs clothing stores (which explains his slick wordroebe in the funneist way possible) and catches rats for his sorta boyfriend and tries to calm him down. It's this landing that makes the arc strong for me: After sinking to his lowest.. Blitz is actually trying to change for the better. He's still his weird ass profane as hell self, but he's no longer the sexually harassing bitter hate filled man who assumed the worst of everyone. He's not going to be a ray of sunshine, but it's heartwarming ot see after two seasons of Blitz digging himself deeper, he's TRYING to change. As we've seen with shows like bojack horseman, change is an uphill battle and he'll no doubt have issues.. but it's ncie to see Blitz as something resembling his best self.

And that extends to the titular holiday: while Blitz is working on sinsmas it's not to force his employees to work, but to let them enjoy themselves as sinsmas is about enduging your sin and he already nearly burned down his apartment once while the office is insured. So M and M have some sexy violence (My faviorite bit being her showing up behond a white bord to sock him and his happy awee when she kisses him after) and Loona to gorge herself on snacks, while Stolas gets a job (his oh fuck i'm poor is delightful)

Sadly the team gets a bitch of a client who wants to murder he gay ex for "probably" cheating on her and leave her kids orphans. Blitz only agrees because she sucks but the remidner of his failings leads to Stolas going to see his daughter..... just as Octavia gets a very sad song steeling herself up to be alone, her mom and uncle ignoring her and finding her dad.. was addicted to depression meds just to function and as is her way, blaming herself for her dad's issues and going to give him his pills.

While this sitcom misunderstanding happens, we get another nice show of blitz's character development. once again the target is a happy family.. but this time... Blitz can't do it and dosen't berate Moxxie for it. All he sees is what he COULD have: him, stolas and their daughters all happy, an image that just thinking about it makes me tear up and despite Loona offering and Millie badly wanting to and strangely being unersonable, he can't. He cancels the contract, yeets a karen out a window and then runs into his new step daughter and realizes "oh fuck my boyfriends confronting his ex in law who can kill him"

Granted before Andrealphus can actually try to kill him we get a cathartic as hell face beating. While Andy heals becaues Goetia can do that, it's so damn nice to see Stolas not listen to his ranting and just beat his ass. It's even nicer when even when stolas is kidnapped, the reste of Imp makes a meal of beating his ass down, an eppic winter showdown with Loona suddenly pulling direwolf forms out of her ass, blitzo being a knight complete with lance and Millie ramboing up. I'ts one of the series best fights in a show that's fucking great at them and cumilates in octavia saving her dad, and guests and blackmailing her uncle into not finishing as he was beaten by commoners and all and Stella is not good at keeping secrets unless she's too dumb to realize why their secret.

Yet the parting of father and daughter.. is bitter and painful. Octavia breaks from her dad, convinced the pills were her and having been lied too so much. Yeah the pills thing is a reach.. but her not beliving in her dad.. makles sense. Stolas loves his daughter.. but LOVE isn't the same as being a good parent. He's neglected her due to his marraige falling apart and then the divorce, openly obessed over the man who as far as octavia knows broke up a working marriage instead of a deeply horrible one neither had a choice in. It's the cumilation of Stolas faults biting him in the ass: his inablility to see what others feel, to take the time to take care of them, and putting his fantasy version of reality over what's in front of him , the same things tha tcost him Blitz fo ra time... cost him his daughter. His quiet "she hates me" after is devistating as is the nice montage of everyone getting ready to party as blitzo (who nicely ate coals to warm up), cuddles him. he's jut there, alone utterly devistated.

But in some heartwarming bits.. he's not. Moxxie warmly offers him cookies and I swear once Stolas recovers a bit they'll be best pals. Blitz is gonna hate it :B! At while Loona seemds.. happy having kept the friends from Queen Bee and eager to have everyone join in games.

Millie is less than as we get a pregnancy cliffhanger but it's easy to see why she's overwhelmed: she won't be able to do what she loves, having a kid is expensive and her husband was stripping off his clothes while screaming BANKRUPTCY two episodes ago. Her friend group is not exactly "chill" at the best of times. These panic attacks will be glorious.

But Blitz recognizes Stolas needs him and offers his unconfditonal support ina beautfiul scnee; He hasn't given up reconcling with his siter.. and Stolas dosen't have to give up reconcling with his daughter. she just needs time.. and for now.. they ahve each other and we get a beautful dance as these two pass by being a transactional fucking, a disaster, bitter exes and awkawrd friends... and finally become the couple the series has been buliding too. Will this happiness last? probably not.... but being there for someone is being there for the bat shit too.. and the ending shot, Blitzo hugging stolas while stolas stands there and soaks it in, is proof they can make it. and that season 3's gonna be something special.

7. Hell to Pay (Legend of Vox Machinas S3, Episode 4)

"I’m not even sure you knew you were lying"

Like Helluva Boss, legend of Vox Machina is one of my faviorite shows right now. Not concidentally both are a fixture on this list. I crunched the numbers recently seeing how many spots overall shows got and with this list Vox Machina and Helluva Boss are tied for second with 7 a piece, passing amphibia's 6 and behind Owl House's whopping 10.

Vox Machina's also our reining champ having topped last year's list with Rise of the Chroma Conclave, and it was certainly welcome to try again. And Season 3 brought it: It had some issues, the back half is a big jangly with one big exception we'll get to, but it's still a hilaroius, heartbreaking badass tail of a bunch of misifts thrust into saving the world.

This year took even more liberties with the campaign and one of the biggest success stories from that was Zerxus. Zerxus didn't exist yet when the campaign legend of vox machina was based off of happened, coming instead years later for the spinoff prequel Exandria Unlimited: The Calamity.

For those who haven't gobbled up every bit of critical roll lore they could because their a thirsty bitch like me, The Clamaity is the big event in backstory that shaped this world and barred the gods from it after a war between the nicer ones nad the eviler ones wrecked the world. The Clamity shows HOW that happened as a bunch of misguided high class types who ended up being the players did an oopsie and the apolcalypse happened. I don't know much more as I want to experince this one and hope it gets a movie or mini series some day as Zerxus left a hell of an impression.

Zerxus was a high minded man who loved his family and made the mistake of trying to make a demon god better. We hadn't got to see him in the present day so Legend of Vox Machina ups his roll to let us see it, bringing back his player Luis Carazo. Carazo is one of the two main reasons this ep made the list, as Zerxus is one of the series best vilians thus far and it's hinted he'll be back for the final arc.

Zerxus in the show is the ideal of a demon: cordial, clever, powerful.. and scheming as hell, zeroing in on pike. He has the plate of the dawnmaryr, one of the last vestiges our heroes need and the only one that can properly counter Thordak as he won it in a card game. No really he won it from an immortal dragon who neglected to mention that part when she told our heroes about it. So half the party is in hell. Hell here is a truly horrifying desolate place: people beg for death, the demon designs ar ehorrifyign (even our heroes disguises) and while ther'es some humor there's an overwhelming sense of dread and hoplessness. Our heroes only find Zerxus.. because he figures their looking for him as if you say the devils name enough times he's liable to here it.

It's a bad place to be... and especaily for the focus of this episode, Pike. Pike is the team's cleric and her goddess the everlight warns her against going.. but the team NEEDS this so we see the poor gnome slowly degrade. Her god has abndoned her and her attempt to help someone only gets everyone nearly killed. She's in a place beyond hope, beyond her god, and beyond her usual cheerful give no fuck attidue.

And that's where the episode gets intresting as Zerxus senses that and having understandable issues with his own god, is determined to pull a heretic on her. And unlike Hugh Grant rather than just mansplane and mimic jar jar binks he hammers in on her doubts, on her need to SEEM like she belivies, on every insecurity.. and challenges her to a card game for her soul. Because Yugioh doesn't have a patent on that, she agrees.. and looses as it's also a game of questions and if you lie, even if it's also to yourself, yoru cards burn.

So Pike has to gamble everyone's soul. Thankfully her mothers gone but her friends aren't so lucky, and also aren't able to consent as their stuck in a glass box. At least they have plush chairs up in this bitch. It's a fascinating character study and helps deepen pike: while she had an arc in season 1, mostly to give Ashly Johnson something to do as she was absent for most of that arc in the web show and couldn't be added back in without breaking the arc in half, here they take advantage of her being in the show more by really diving into her and the question of gods: the everlight is her god.. but how much of her belief his her and how much is her god? When is faith leaning too heavily on someone especially someone who isn't some unknowable being but you know.

Zerxus makes a mistake in his attempts to lecture: he gives his backstory: he and his friends did a stupid, wee were over this.. but the part I glossed over and that undoes him is his family: he did this so his husband and son would be safe.. and naturally making a deal with the devil his god removed their memories. So Pike asks a question: do you wish they were here suffering with you. And while he denies it as pike put it in the quote... he was lying to himself. Pike wins and our heroes get the plate. Granted they have to outrun Zerxus pit fiend because he only needs pike for his evil plan..

This episode at it's core is a spectacular game of chance, will and breaking your opnent and I loved every second of it. It's a series high point for Ashley Johnson and I can't wait to see where this goes next season.

6. ...And Be A Villain (Batman: Caped Crusader S1 Episode 2)

"I don't believe your performance. Your chewing on scenery to enhance weak characterization. It's insincere Basil, it's not real"

So Batman Caped Crusader fucks.

Caped Crusader is a glorious noir return to tv animation for batman after a long nap after they screwed over beware the batman and brave and the bold. While Paul Dini is back, he alongside fellow batman legend and catwoman's real dad Ed Brubaker, do something different, a slightly darker world set in a more socially open 1940's where he can have the government be corrupt from the top down without networks whining "the government can't be corrupt! Children need to have faith in the government!"

So we get a gotham where a few honest people are the only one's fighting against a corrupt system, and while batman can put away the varoius freaks of the weak, it's going to be harder cutting out the cancer at the center alone.

Yet while this is a darker take it refeshingly dosen't stick to just a grim grounded tone as much of batman does in adaptations. While I love Matt Reeves the Batman, it's nice to have variety and while Caped Crusader is a bleak work at times, it remembers to have fun and that while batman's dark.. he can also be camp. The first episode has penguin as a female (and awesome) crime boss who will kill her own children if necessary, she also has a giant umbrella shaped canon on top of her umbrella shaped dockside yacht as her main weapon. The third episode has a catwoman who rather than the complex thief I prefer, is a spoiled socialite who steals batman's bit to fund her lifestyle and army of cats. We get outright supernatural villians with the racist and classist gentleman ghosts and the tragically selfish vampire child nocturna. There's an overaching story.. but the show also gleefully embraces being episodic ala BTAS: while every episode contributes something to the larger arc, each one stands alone beautifully allowing for the sharp character focus of BTAS while still bringing something diffrent to the table.

That brings us to this episode, my faviorite to watch out of the season. We'll get to my overall faviorite but while that episode is a hard but awesome watch due to it's ending, this one is just good damn fun with a clever mystery and nice character building.

In this case the focus is on Renee Montoya, who eats good this series, probably helped that the man who redefined her in Gotham Central and 52, Ed Brubaker, was head writer for season one and wrote this episode. Also as my fellow reviewer Serum Lake has said if you like this show, read Gotham Central. It's a police procedural from the view of the GCPD's honest cops and it's damn good. Batman isn't an active character but more a presence and it's a brilliant series.

Here Renee is one of the only honest cops as usual for this franchise, having been recently promoted by Gordon and is resented by other cops because well.. she's a woman, and they see her as having gotten the position on that and not the fact she actually does her fucking job and dosen't take bribes. Which should be the bare minimum for a cop but wether your in gotham or real life, apparently isn't.

While Batman's around this episode, he nicely sinks into the background: Renee's the one doing the leg work and like most white men Bruce is content to leech off the work of a succesful person of color. I'm not even Kidding.. mostly. He's not asking for help because this batman is at a stage where he refuses help and calls his dad "Pennyworth" he's not exactly okay and the series isn't treating this like "okay", just a pramatic step so batman dosen't have to do the same work someone just as good at detectiving is twice, nor doe she want her credit. He just wants the same thing she does: the case solved.

The case revolves around the murder of a starlet, and soon wraps into one Basil Karlo, a vetrain actor who plays "the heavy", the bad guy, and badly wanted to be dramatic but with his face couldn't get the part. So as you can probably guess, he decides to kill for it, a nice nod to his first apperance. This clayface isn't a nigh unstoppable monster, but a thorughly human one: a man who desperate for his co stars love and the public's praise, took a shady chemical from a back alley doctor and become a malformed lump of a man.. but one who could remold his face.. Yet he still got rejected.. not because of his face.. but because Yvonne, his costar, simply was never intrested.

So rather than accept this, Basil decides to instead accept he is the villian and we get a thriling story buildling up to that reveal as he imitates several people: he can't turn his body into a weapon like modern clayface, but he can make his face whatever. Basil is a fantastic villian, and not just because he and batman fucking swordfight, which is as dope as it sounds. He's a man who felt rejected by society.. but in reality simply was an entitled bastard who while tragic to an extent ,focused on the wrong things. While it's in a very 40's context it's hard not to parallel basil with the various incels littered aroudn the internet: an angry man who blames his self loathing and issues on everyone else. Basil is a fun ham but as Yvonne puts out his actual satisfactoin with being the bad guy.. is artifice. He's a bitter person who can't accept life sucked for him but he still had a pretty good one.

It's fitting the person solving his case is a woman and hte person beating his face in is someone whose also not handling his trauma well.. but ultimately wants to help people. Batman may be rougher, colder here.. but he's doing this to save people and Renee can see that. Despite the odds against her she solves the case, and gets the credit.. kinda. I mean corrupt assholes Bullock and Flass tease her about batman but given he kicks their ass next episode what goes around comes around. More on them later. For now Renee has a new ally and basil can be the bell of the prison's production of pirates of pinsance.

This episode has wonderful atmosphere, a real theatrical quality> While I haven't watched a ton of 1940s films, this really has that feel just a good noir with a nice new take on an old favorite that harkens back to his earliest appearances. Basil might not show up again, at least not next season but man.. what a performance.

5. Gwimbly: Definitive Remastered Enhanced Extended Edition DX 4K (Anniversary Director's Cut) (Smiling Friends S2 Episode 1)

"I Swear to god if I had my Gwimbly gun on me right now man i'd.."

After a year off Smiling Friends came back and better than ever. Well mostly, still not pleased about having Doug Walker cameo after his tommy wiseau level bullshit as a director and general ambivalence to the mistreatment of the rest of Channel Awesome, but that's a rant for another day.

Still i'm not going to hold it against Gwimbly: Not typing out all those subtitles had to copy paste it in the first place. It was the showcase that smiling friends was not only back but had improved: with a bigger budget Hadel and Cusak took things to new heights and came out of the gate with an ambitious bonkers idea: what if our heroes helped a homeless ps1/n64 either collectathon mascot abandoned by time and his company get his groove back. Well Pim's trying Alan just wants to spray him with dirty brown water.

Gwimbly arrives in all his polygonal and prolapsed anus glory, with Pim determined to help his friend and Alan only doing it to get a homeless man off his lawn. Alan is.. a bit of a prick this season and it's hilarious. The creators clearly realized fans loved the guy and his potetial and rather than do what I assumed, fuck with that expectation, they instead make Alan a part of more plots and his dry, not giving a fuck nature makes for comedy gold, paticuarlly his spotlight which missed the list but can HANG out with me, and smoke weed, and fill our bellies with DIET soda and play Burnout Revenge for the PS Two.

Here he makes a nice partner for Pim.. and proves while Charlie may be awful at his job and barely giving a fuck.. he at least.. tries. In just one day in the field Alan dropkicks an innocent woman who "startled" him and constantly asks if he can just drop Gwimbly wherever including a graveyard.

Gwimbly is also great satire of the modern game landscape: The CEO of the company that made Gwimbly is a grotesque asshole whose best known for a meme i've had endless use for and is easily the season's best line

And sends his latest creation to go murder our heroes for crowdfunding a gwimbly game after his company pivoted to fps.

We get some truly fantastic gags. Gwimbly threatning to use his Gwimbly gun, his former antagonists weird wife and his sidekick mr milipede getting a smash cut to his grave, having died of Fentnyl. The climax where the ceo gets killed by his own creation and said creation and gwimbly decide to do a mascot fighter is heartwarming. Also Charlie has a subplot with an angry asshole. It's okay, and mostly notable for the guy ripping Charlie's nose o off..a nd thent he cut back later to Charlie calcmly trying to call 911 to get an ambulence while the douchey client who won't leave tries to bully him. It's the funneist episode of the year , one of the most insane and a good sign for the series future.

4. Mutant Liberation Begins (X-Men 97 S1 Episode 2)

 "Charles Xavier entrusted me with his dream, and it does not ask you to love or embrace my kind as your own, but merely to accept that this is a shared world with a common future, and that my kind, like yours, have the right to live in it. I am trying to be better. Please...do not make me let you down..."

I fucking love Magneto. and even with the stupid ass grooming subplot, X-Men 97 does a damn good magneto. It portrays him as the complex asshole he is: a man who genuinely wants to help his people, who will say never again, and who will kick ass, but WANTS to be better than his violenty groomy past. Someone whose taken things to an extreme.. but you can see after all he's been through WHY he got there.

MLB is a great second episode. While To Me My X-Men was a great intro, showing off Cyclops and Storm properly and setting everything up, MLB is where the series starts to really cook, bringing in the complex themes. While x-men media hasn't been afraid to talk about race or opression using the mutnat metaphor, 97 gets into how endless it feels.. how it just KEEPS coming and how hard Xavier's dream of coexistance is. It feels extra relevant after Disney's sacking of the shows creator for being this blunt and the horrifying results of the election, that this isn't new. History repeats or as behind the bastards host and guy I deeply respect Robert Evans put sit "It's cool how people don't learn anything ever"

And while other episodes rip right into it better, I like MLB for doing that and being an outstanding magneto character piece. He's trying to honor his absent friend.. but he's still an arrogant dick. Being an x-man dosen't take erik's arrogance away. He' still smug as hell as he asks why the x-men never bothered to send the morlocks to saftey in genosha now it's a free country and not a hell hole, his mutant power still kills fascists.. he's just tampering it down to maiming them. He's doing a noble thing.. but in the most dickish most magneto way possible and its easy to see why the x-men aren't easy with thier new leader.

The Rogue's stuff's better here as she encourages him to pull his head out of his ass and we hadn't got to "They say i'm robbing the cradle but she's robbing the grave" yet.

Magneto gets a grand stage to lay out his ideas when the UN comes to arrest him. Because they can do that apparently. He stops all their helicopters and makes it clear it was a stupid move to not magneto proof thier helicopters. Seriously you.. you guys are HQ'd in new york same as the x-men and live in a universe with the x-men, the avengers, the fantastic four and spider-man all in it. You didn't think to have quinjets or hulkbuster tanks to take on the most dangerous man alive?

It's only for the grace of proving he's changed their not all reduced to a pile of blood and metal and Magneto agrees to the trial.. but defends what he's done: he did what he had to, he's seen the holocaust, and he has one simple code: never again. He calls them out for their hypocricy, for the show trial nature of things.

Then the racists hit. Beau really just said "let's have a january 6th allegory" and i'm here for it with the friend sof humanity storming the UN. When a racist on the panel wonders whyt heir trying to killh im Magneto says it simply "your giving the monster a trial"

The x-men defend and we get a great scene with the FOH's leader the x-cutioner, a bigot who loudly complains about how mutants won't just shut up and how HE has problems but he isn't whining.. to Scott Summers. The may whose dad got shot up into space, grew up an orphan, can't look anyone in the eye, had his wife die twice, and had a weird man fuck with his life and will have him do it again. What i'm saying with this is fuck your first world problem and it's telling real bigots latched onto the scene missing the point.

We also get a neat subplot as Maddy goes into labor. I love her shenanigans with logan: making his car a convertible and the intimal confrontation with him thinking "he's here" means apolcaypse or something and having to be told "the baby you idiot". I also love Rogue (who brought Cyke to the hopsital mid insurrection) sapping a racist doctor's knowledge to deliver the baby. Brilliant stuff.

But the true heart is what happens. While the x-men valiantly do their best, the x-cutioner has a nasty suprise: a neutralizer gun. He aims it at erik.. and Storm takes it. And Erik.. does not take it well, watching a strong, powerful mutant who had done nothing but try to help people crawl weekly in shock he says: ENOUGH and gives the speech above, lifting the un council and the x-cutioner into the sky and making clear he could kill them all if he wanted.. but he won't. They don't have to like mutantkind.. but they should be allowed to exist. He's trying to be better. please don't let him down. Sadly.. they do. But as swerve said, story for another time.

3. Souls in Darkness (Legend of Vox Machina S3 Episode 12)

 "Percy... this isn’t how I wanted to do this. And gods know all this attention would appall you but... That day with you in Syngorn when you stood next to me and allowed me to be a part of something that you hold dearest. I... I was so proud. You stood up for me and I... I lied to you. I lied to myself. I hate that I was too afraid to admit it. You’re fascinating, and... obstinate, and... and the cleverest man I know. You have to find your way back to us Percy. Because the truth is... I love you, darling. My heart... It's yours."

As I alluded too in the "hell to pay" entry, the last act of season 3 was bumpy. They tried to thread a lot of stuff together, and while ther'es awesome highs like the battle with thordak, the period between that and the finale was rocky, splitting everyone up for time and not working like it had before.

What did was the ending, which also ended a cleverly addded subplot: in both the original game and the show Percy, my baby boy, dies. He forgave his arch enemy Ana Ripley, let go of vengance.. and got a bullet for it. While his ressurection was frought in the game, with Ashley Johnson coming in special just to make sure pike could help him feeling guilty for the team not having a healer when percy died, here.. it sticks. The team dosen't have anyone who can do it and Percy is dead. Granted most of us felt this woudln't stick.. but I applaud the decision to let it ride: to let that pain fester: Vex feels guilt for not admitting how she felt, pushing him away due to her daddy issues, and Scanlan regrets not being there to help.

The good news is the series had a loop hole. Our heroes get Anna Ripley's gun from her corpse and Vax slowly hears something inside. Percy is alive.. but in a horrifying twist (one hinted at in the show but shown in full here) Orthax, the shadowy ghoul that he accidnetly made a deal with and who slowly possed him over season 1, has him.

Our heroes have to wrap up other buienss first and the first act finishes where the last episode: Raishan has played our heroes, their alliance being so she could get thordak's corpse, escape her curse and become a necrodragon.. and wanting vengance against the ashari, she traps Keyleth with her. Thankfully kiki's grown as a person and awesomely dispatches one of the series best villians (a truly awesome performance by cree summers) by turning into an earth titan then using Raishan's own corpse to pump her new body full of curse and blow her up real good.

This part is excellent, finally giving Keyleth some shine (as did the previous two eps) and letting her get revenge on her tormentor who played her friends the best way possible. She and Vax alsof inally confirm it's offical. Thank god.

But it's not over as during the fight Vax used the pepperbox.. and heard percy inside. Percy is alive, he's trapped... and his brother in law's gonna go save him. As usual for the show ressurection is not easy. It dosen't seem easy in dnd, but in fiction you can't just have casual resurrection without death meaning nothing. And unless you question that like x-men did in the krakoan age, the good and bad of it it can be tedious. So instead Ressurection is really hard.. especially since the person they had do one last time is now dead. RIP Cash, Will please do more voice acting.

So we get a tense sequence as PIke restores the body and the party has to keep it alive while Vax dives into hell despite his matron warning him he will be punished if he spits in the face of death. But Percy is family.. and Vax won't abandon him.

Orthax's realm is helish: all of percy's previous targets are horrifying corpse and percy himself is stuck ona n eternal forge bereft of memories while Vax risks being stuck there too... until.. Vex reaches out... confessing to percy as quoted above in Laura Bailey's most beautiful bit of acting series wide. It's love that saves Percy from his own guilt and his worst enemy, and it's the love of a brother that gets him out of there as Vax pulls his brother out.

The ending is also joyous.. likely because they didn't know if they'd get ot do season 4, so rather than scanlan bitterly parting ways, he plans to leave with his daughter and everyone else decides to take a break from being a party: Vex and Percy are going back to whitestone, Vax is going to help his girlfriend finish the Armente they need to actually define in show, and Pike and Grog are gonna.. go save people they guess. We get a truly beautfiul song to close this out, Circle the World, which shows off Scanaln's evelopment and is a nice parting song... and an omnius cliffhanger shows we're not done.

Souls in darkness is an episode that serves as the perfect caper to everything that's come. Like the end of season 1 the final conflict isn't the big bad.. but saving one of their own. Vox Machina is ultimately about a family of choiec, a group who loves each other even if they'll verbally tear each other apart and this a beautiful showcase of that and of my favorite characters. I'll truly miss them when the series wraps.

2. Night of the Hunters (Batman Caped Crusader S1 Episode 4)

"He'll Talk"

Night of the Hunters is a perfect episode, one that had a damn good shot at being the year's best episode. Night of the Hunters takes everything that makes Caped Crusader great, condenses it into half an hour and the results are fantastic.

Previously on Batman Caped Crusader

Also Catwoman was there and made the mistake of humiliating detectives Bullock and Flask. In this show Bullock isn't the gruff man who should probably still be fired but at least believes in justice guy we know and love from the comics and BTAS, but a corrupt monster, working closely with his partner detective Flass , a big piece of shit in any medium. The two gladly bring up the idea of roughing up suspects as their go to, inform for Thorne and Penguin and genuinely just suck. So when Selina Kyle got off on a technicality and made the two look stupid, not to mention scratching Bullocks face, the two decided to murder her. Batman had to stop it and kicked some cop ass, hooray, but did so on film to make sure Catwoman actually went to jail this time.

This being the alternate 40's, cops are viewed with actual respect and not as an orginzation that BADLY needs reform filled with people who think their gods I tell you gods who will arrest striking workers because they were created for the upper class. Thankfully Caped Crusader is aware of this irony and is one of the best depections of police i've seen: a few people, not suprisingly of color are trying, but the bulk of the system is corrupt, horrible and more than willing to resort to force.

Still the good side is the one that gets to try and catch the batman. Renee Montoya, who we talked about earlier, gets the task force head as her solution isn't throw wave after wave of her own men after them but clever tactics. She sets up fake crimes, and only fails because the Batman is one step ahead. It also turns out he's been reading thier strategies, as we find out in the most hilaroius scene in the show: Gordon is working late, goes into the task force room and finds batman and the two just.. sit there for a beat and drink in the absurdity, fully absorb this then the chase begins.

Montoya brings in an expert, Harleen Quinzel, her future girlfriend and the current Harley Quinn but the latters for an episode we're not talking about today. She explains Batman's biggest draw is someone who matches his freak: Super crime. The kinds that aren't easy for gpd. Masked bandits and such. Given he fights a ghost a few episodes after this and punched a clay man in the face a bunch in a previous entry on this list, she's not wrong.

Montoya has the obvious solution: fake a super criminal, a clever plan that doesn't get executed because Bullock and Flass go for the easiest , stupidest, bloodiest , fastest method: they essentially kidnap Firebug, an arsonist in a grey suit to burn down the east end.

Firebug is an also ran in the comics, here more resembling firefly, but with a disturbing and wonderfully horrific twist: He's a meek unassuming man... who assumes everyone would be happier in the flame. In the second best sequence of the episode, he imagines everyone as happy animated flames, the joy they'll have consumed by the fire. It's the best version of either character i've seen and it's fucking horrific.

Helping this is his voice actor, the legendary Tom Kenny. While Tom has gotten a lot of flexibility in his long career, this is one of his best rolls, which says something. The meekness, the tired way he is.. then the expressiveness when Firebug gets to do his "sacred duty" it's truly haunting.

The climax is horrific and perfect: Flass and Bullock hyjack a bunch of swat members with one goal: kill batman. They don't care that Firebug is killing a bunch of innocent people, their an acceptable casualty. Gordon and the Bat disagrees with Jim going in HIMSELF to save the people whose beat he once walked, the poor and desperate.. and works with Bruce working in concert with him.

Sadly this leaves Firebug vunerable. He's out of fire.. but Flass can't let him squel and tells bullock to kill him. And in the series best shot, he does.. killing him and standing stone faced in the window, any hope of redemption gone. Gordon tries to fire him.. but all the public sees is a hero cop.. and Gordon is left broken wondering what the hell his purpose is. Night of the Hunters is a dark, brutal episode of television and one of my faviorites.

Masquerade (Hazbin Hotel S1, episode 4)

"It's time to loose your self loathin, excuse yourself let hope in. Play your card be who you are, a loser , just like.." "Are they fuckin singin?!"

This glorious #1 was a surprise to me. While I expected Masquerade, and Hazbin Hotel in general to place, I didn't expect it to win. I'd pegged other episodes for that spot.. but when thinking things out, comparing episode... this was the winner. As good as night of the hunters is, as close as this race was... Hazbin always came out on top and after three previous years the Hellaverse as a whole has finally gotten it's flowers.

Hazbin Hotel is excellent. Season 1 may wove way faster than it should've for space reasons, but damn if it wasn't a good time. The songs were all beautiful, the cast was perfection, and the visuals gorgeous, while the characters were as loveable, complicated and in in most of our villians cases intentionally punchable in the best way as Helluva's cast. It's a messy good time and I ca'nt wait to see where it goes this year.

Masquerade is the standout and it' shelped by narrowing focus. While it ends up being important to the series as a whole, Masquerade has nothing to do with the overarching plot of Original Fuckboy Adam's imminent genocide, being an intimate character piece dealing with everyone's faviorite power bottom at rock bottom Angel Dust.

Masquerade is a rough watch: most of the time we see Angel, it's him confidently deflecting, making sex jokes and doing sexual harassment to Husk. Yet episode 2 gave us peaks behind the mask: he's geninely hurt when Charlie seemingly writes him off (If not unfairly) and we see just how horrible his pimp/slavemaster/general piece of shit valentino is to him, emotoinally gaslighting him and planning to murder everyone in the hotel over Angel daring to.. live somewhere else.

Valentino is one of the vilest characters in animation, and I don't exagerate there. The show does need to better ballance his comedic moments with his monstrosity, but in my eyes at least the monstrosity is done chillingly realistically: he's a gaslighting monster who has hold over someone he treats as a sex slave, assaults regularly and abuses his power over. When Charlie makes the innocent mistake of trying to help angel get his work hours down to be at the hotel more, it goes horribly, gettiing angel punished for it.

And it's a tragedy that's welld one: You get why Charlie blunders ont o a porn set. Angel hasn't told her HOW bad shit is, why he's doing this, and is doing his shit of dissocating to avoid having to deal with the nightmare he's trapped in. He likely dose'nt WANT to talk to Charlie about it and bring his truama and pain into the one safe place he has.

Yet by not doing so.. Charlie just assumes he's doing this to be angel and not because he has to, and dosen't grasp the depths of her friends abuse. She does get to oggle a hellhound though. So that's nice. But Charlie blundering leads to angel getting hit and while Charlie prepares to leave Valentio a stain on the floor Angel' desperately tells her to go. He's so scared of this monster that even a quick way out won't save him while Charlie is left broken not understanding WHAT she di dwrong. Which.. was nothing intentional. She fucked up, sure, but she's a sheltered 20 something who while meaning well, has no real concept of how fucked up hell truly is to it's core. It's her first taste that the world is more complciated and fucked up than she can imagine and she can't just.. save angel. I Mean killing val might've done that but we dont' know how soul contracts work and I suspect neither does charlie. You don't blame either perosn: Angel's deeply traumtized, self loathing and is likely afraid val will hurt his best friend, or worse, take her awya form him, and Charlie is a naive idiot. She's not without fire to her, adam learned that the hard way, but a common theme is Charlie's lack of actual experince hampers her goals.

So we get Poison, one of the shows best sequences and a great song.. ut a sequence I'll likely NEVER watch again as Angel is assaulted, and talks about the hell he's in, blames himself for it, and his nightmare of a life is sexualized for the cameras.. while the actual abuse of valentio is shadowy and horrific. Valentino delights in parading angel around as his property and using him how he sees fits and i'ts utterly breaking to watch.

Also hard to watch is Angel's attempt to cope: he wants to get drunk, then hits on Husk who resonably, finally has enough. His main reason is simple: he knows i'ts a defense mechanism. He knows the angel he sees at the hotel and the harassment is annoying less because it's.. harassment (something to unpack next season maybe as... i'ts an uneasy message at best) nad more because he can tell angle's faking it to get by and it pisses him off. Like Charlie Husk makes a mistake.. but you can't blame him. He shoudln't have to get constantly hit on by someone to make that person feel better and it's likely only gone on this long because Charlie is so naive she likely dosen't get this is bad as it's not the grosser sexual harassment she's dealt with and husk seems fine.

So angel storms out and with Charlie broken (adorably so but still aww) Vaggie orders Husk to go fix this. Her blaming him isn't okay but I get her logic: while blaming husk is stupid, sending him is really the only option as he's the only person who can resonably save angel from himself right now. Charlie's breaking down, Vaggie's having to make sure Charlie dosen't break down further, Husk is the only one. And it's telling that while ti's an order, given how he usually shrugs those off.. he doe sit.

And it saves Angel from more assault as Angel gets hammered and fully intends to let a bunch of shark men assault him repeadtely which is horrific.. and when Husk saves him he snaps, asking why. In a truly heartbreaking moment that's Blake Roman's best acting so far he reveals he does it to escape, that if he's broken Val may not want him anymore. And in this moment of vunerablity.. Husk actually responds and comforts him.

And the character suddenly gets a thousand lairs as we learn his backstory: He was once an overlord, but his gambling addiction meant he ended up enslaved to Alastor. And as worn out shell.. he recognizes himself in Angel. It's likely why he was so hard on him.. he could see himself and simply wanted Angel to actaully be himself.. and now he sees why he wasn't, he helps.

And he helps with the season's second best song. I mean.. Still Gone is fucking fantastic and had the rest of the episode not just been okay, episode 2 would be here too. But Looser Baby is the series breakout, an endlessly applicable song with a great message: that it's okay to be a mess, that you can be better.

Granted i'm biased: My love of Keith David is something I don't hide and not only does this episode let him shine he gets to sing. In fact David took the roll entirely becaue he wanted to sing more, and why it's taken this long is beyond me. The man did one of the most iconic disney villian songs period, let him sing.

Viv does.. and the results are glorious. Partly because we get to see Keith david sing thigns like "your a fucked up little whiny bitch" and "your a power bottom at rock bottom". He starts tearing into angel.. but the point is not "you fucking suck and will continue to suck" it's "just because your in a bad place, dosen't mean you have to be alone in it". As david dreamiily croons

"There was a time I thought that no one could relate, to the grusome ways in which i'm damaged. But letting walls down it can sometime set you straight, we're all livin in the same shit sandwitch"

It's a lesson I needed to learn: your not broken, you can heal, and your not alone if you can find someone like you whose also in pain. Its a joyous ode to how things may suck.. but you can still love yourself despite the flaws you need to work on. It's help by buttery smooth animation as we see Husk, whose been mostly drunk and sullen in a corner, move an dgroove the whole time, in beautiful ways, using his umbrella and get some great neon colors cumilating in that beautful shot above. And some shark death. Always shake your tails before the big musical number.

The ending is also shockingly sweet. Charlie tries to blubbering apologize.. and Angel has grown, having realized he can be loved and dosne't have to shove people away to survive or break himself.

"Charlie it's fine I get it, thanks for carrin about me"

Her blubbering after and her girlfriend putting her to bed is fucking adorable, but this episode itself is fucking amazing. A truly heartrending story... that somehow has a happy ending and a turning point in who angel is and him and husk's relationship that's realistic, and well earned. And viv well earned our number one spot. Congradulations Spindlehorse, keep it up and i'll see you next year

For all you fine folks, thanks for reading, follow me here on bluesky for more nonsense and remember: I'm pullin for ya we're allin this together.

[biblioflyer]

Finding hope in an Age of Apocalypse: maybe Xavier’s dream isn’t dead, just wounded.

X-Men ‘97 ends on a series of cliffhangers: the team split between eras, likely having to choose between helping a mortal enemy or altering history in unpredictable ways but probably for the worse, and with the present day team facing a new wave of anti-mutant sentiment and the potential for President Creed. Yet contained within this ending are seeds of hope.

This is part 5 in a series of discussions about the pessimism of the X-Men setting, its origins, its consequences, and whether that’s even a fair assessment.

Part 1 laid out some of the core conceits of the setting.

Part 2 discusses theories of historical change.

Part 3 is about the messiness of allegories.

Part 4 compares X-Men to other popular settings and their status quo or evolution.

I hold out hope the next season of ‘97 might complicate the status quo a bit. Maybe build upon Steve Rogers looking very unhappy when the Magneto protocol was authorized to show us humans and superhumans who are more willing to buck the system. President Kelly is likely to be seen as a big disappointment by idealists who want to work within the system, such as Steve. 

If ‘97 does go forward with a transition from having a President who is sympathetic to Mutants but whose ultimate priority is order to a President who is a fire breathing anti-mutant extremist, that would be a fruitful way to bring in dissenting humans and superhumans. It would be interesting to see the status quo, from the perspective of supportive non-Mutants, move from unjust but seeming to have room for reform to one that is intolerable.

It’s very much not Captain America’s show and there is no obligation to depict him in a sympathetic way in the X-Men’s corner of the setting, but adding extra dimensions to the conflict by having a broader ideological mix of Humans would offset the fatalism of the first season and the potential extra gloom of a President Creed arc by bringing a smidge of optimism that Sapiens vs Mutatis does not have to be a zero sum conflict.

I’m just personally not a fan of settings without hope. It’s what frustrated me about the way the Star Wars Sequels wiped away the achievements of the legacy characters as if they had been built on sand and without even really giving us any appreciation for what, if anything, they did achieve. It’s what made the first couple seasons of Star Trek Discovery kind of a chore, not that there wasn’t hope, but you really had to dig deep to find anything approximating the idealism of TNG. 

I know things are hard, I know the world is a mess, and I’m fine with fictional worlds being hyperbolically messy but give me hope dammit! I don’t want to come away from an epic journey feeling fatalistic about reality by finding no hope in fiction.

Which is incidentally why I want to thank the writers of ‘97 for capping off the season by having the touching moment with Scott and Cable and for Xavier being willing to die trying to break through to Magneto, even after everything Magneto had done.

Grim is okay if it's complemented by heroes being that much more heroic for contrast.

If I wanted bad people doing bad things, having bad things happen to them, and becoming worse people for it I’d reread Game of Thrones.

If I wanted all of that with superpowers, I’d pick up the original The Boys comics.

[milesonthenet]

We need to talk about X-Men '97!

October 31st, 1992, saw the release of the iconic X-Men animated series. It quickly gained praise and viewership from its audience. For years, it has been regarded as one of the most high-quality animated adaptations.

This year, the X-Men Animated Series finally gains a sequel; X-Men '97. The next chapter in Marvel's Uncanny Mutants is only halfway through its season. Its journey is only just beginning, and it has already gained praise from critics.

Welcome to the House of Milesverse. Today, we will be talking about X-Men '97, and its growing impact. I hope you enjoy the read and remember to (SNIKT) leave a comment or suggestion, bub.

WARNING. THERE WILL BE SPOILERS.

'97's story:

Unsurprising to anyone, '97 picks up a year after the events of the last episode. With Charles Xavier gone, Cyclops has taken full reins over the team. The X-Men are facing off against new and dangerous challenges.

'97 has a timeless vibe to its story, almost as if you never left. These are still the same characters as they were before. The X-Men's lore and story within the animated continuity have not changed.

Much like its predecessor, '97 also provides some interesting adaptations. For an example, look no further than Madelyne Pryor, the clone of Jean Grey. In just one episode, the series condensed the events of her story.

Another good example is their destruction of Genosha. Watching it play out on the screen was such a shocker. Its destruction was carried out by Cassandra Nova in the comics. Interestingly enough, she's completely absent from the series, with this being a conspiracy done by Bolivar Trask.

The X-Men have been missed.

Dear X-Men, we have missed you.

X-Men's animated series is in line with other serious, action-heavy stories from that time. Their story focuses on the message of hate, and the real-world issues it can relate to. The persecution that mutants feel has often been used to represent various minority groups across history.

In addition, the original series combined that with beautifully made animation. The action scenes have been well-remembered by fans for years. The animated series has become such a beloved part of the animated media circle within comic books. For anyone who's a fan of our merry mutants, they definitely have spent some time with this show.

97 has proven to be a perfect follow-up by many fans. In just two episodes, 97 was able to impress the audience. It's following in the footsteps of its predecessor. X-Men 97's acclaim and interest can only rise, especially thanks to it's renewal.

What's so different?

These may be the same mutants you have met, but their voices are not. Some of the actors, such as Norm Spencer (the original voice for Cyclops) unfortunately passed away over the years. Others have been recast to play different characters.

Here are what I feel are the most notable additions:

Cyclops is now voiced by Ray Chase, well known for being the voice of numerous characters such as Noctis Lucis Caelum (FF15), Bruno Bucciarati (JoJo's Bizarre Adventure), Tengen Uzui (Demon Slayer), Roy (Fire Emblem), and the Master of Masters (Kingdom Hearts)

Jean Grey (and Madelyne Pryor) is now voiced by Jennifer Hale, well known for being the voice of Commander Shepherd (Mass Effect), Princess Morbucks (Powerpuff Girls), and one of the Hex Girls, Thorn (Scooby-Doo). It's also worth noting that Jennifer Hale reprises the role, as she initially had it during Wolverine and the X-Men.

Gambit is an interesting case, as his prior voice actor, Chris Potter, is now playing Cable. He's instead voiced by A.J. LoCascio, who does voice work for both Prince Lotor (Voltron: Legendary Defender) and Marty McFly (Back To The Future: The Game).

Speaking of? Cable is voiced by Chris Potter now, whose done work as Peter Caine (Kung-Fu: The Legend Continues), and Evan Owen (The Young and The Restless).

Cable's old voice actor was Lawrence Bayne, but he was replaced by Chris Potter. Ironically enough, Lawrence Bayne plays a new character who debuts in the same episode as Cable's birth, The X-Cutioner. Lawrence Bayne is known as the voice of Gill (Street Fighter III: Third Strike) and Raven (Gargoyles).

Lastly? Jubilee's old voice actress, Alyson Court, wanted someone of Asian descent to portray her. That is where Holly Chou comes in, acting as the new voice of Jubilee. She did the voice work for Akame (Like A Dragon Gaiden: The Man Who Erased His Name). It is also worth noting that Alyson Court acted as the voice of an older Jubilee in an episode, named Abscissa.

As you can see, a lot has changed with the voice cast of the X-Men series. Some characters who were voiced by older actors had been replaced. Others, like Cal Dodd (The voice of Wolverine) and Alison-Sealy Smith (The voice of Storm) still reprise their iconic roles.

While much has changed? At the end of the day, these new actors all still portray the spirit of the character. Ray Chase for example makes for a standout, with how closely he sounds to Norm Spencer's Cyclops.

What to look forward to & Conclusion

X-Men '97 is heating up, and we are already almost at the end. If you haven't checked it out yet, then I recommend it. The series is short, but its episodes all have a distinct impact and role. They not only move the plot forward but also help the characters to grow.

My hope is that Superhero Animation swings back into full gear. I remember as a kid it felt like it was practically already there. From the 90s to the 2000s, you could not miss it. The DC Animated Universe, for example, stands out as one of the best superhero animation projects. An entire generation grew up on those stories, and those adventures.

X-Men shows that its importance and value to people matters. Much like the DCAU, it raised so many children and was their first introduction to the X-Men. It stands out as one of the most iconic superhero action cartoons ever, and frankly? It's earned its title.

I think the future of superhero animation is steadily climbing back up. We have had great animated series, such as Invincible, Moon Girl & Devil Dinosaur, My Adventures with Superman, and now? X-Men '97.

This has been a wonderful episode of House of MilesVerse. I hope you join us for a deep dive into our favorite robots in disguise. I'll be doing a full review of Transformers: Earthspark.

And? If you didn't know it, then now you know. We'll chronicle some adventures of Moon Girl & Devil Dinosaur.

[entityupdates]

December 2024 General Update Post: Break Recap and Plans for 2025

I said I was going to take a fanfic break back in September and I was expecting it to be two weeks, maybe a month max, but instead it was like 4 months. I started a new job that I was expecting to kick my ass but nope. It was a class. I was consumed like I have never been consumed before.

Other stuff happened too and I was kind of going through it but I survived so it's fanfic time again.

I decided to end my break about halfway through December and immediately wrote two Creature Commandos fics:

Artificial Souls Don't Make Artificial Families is a platonic soulfamily AU oneshot where soulmarks appear on first touch with your soulmates. It's mostly Rick freaking out that he's soulmates with a bunch of monsters.

Artificial Souls Still Feel Pain is a queerplatonic polyamorous soulmate AU twoshot with the pain sharing soulmate trope. The first chapter shows Rick through the years feeling the Commandos' pain, with some focus on their mutations/transformations, and the second chapter is more Rick freaking out that he's soulmates with a bunch of monsters.

These will probably be posted this week. They’re all edited and everything. I just want to wait until the good posting hours but I have been sleeping through them unfortunately.

The painsharing fic idea came from my IRL friend who was originally a client of mine then I very unprofessionally became friends with and turns out she'd read one of my fics before meeting me. Crazy coincidence.

Anyway, she's got my DC obsession going again so expect more DC fics maybe but I lost motivation for the two I was working on (a wingfic AU and a SuperLantern thing)

My other WIPS are the stepdad Magneto adoption fic and that monster au Submas fic that I've talked a little about but haven't posted.

He Died Loving You (stepdad Magneto fic) has one arc written that needs editing and two more outlined. Someone wrote a fic of the fic which gave me some inspo for more family-oriented stuff so look forward to that.

Idk what's going on with my Pokemon one. Love the idea but I started writing it like a year and a half ago and it's barely started. Might just be one of those ones I work on forever because it'll probably end up being a long one.

The Masking series is being moved out of my WIP folder. I know people would like to see more but I am feeling unmotivated about the ideas I was excited for, and I know the stuff I wanted to write wasn't the stuff people were really interested in seeing. A sequel/seeing Zoroark Ingo back in the modern world just isn't interesting to me.

I have a folder that just has loose ideas/outlines that I always think I'm going to write immediately but I know I'm not going to. Lmk if you're interested in any of these and that might motivate me to write them but otherwise they're getting tossed into the old idea bin:

Dreaming of Sunshine fic where Shikako and Sasuke escort the film crew from the Land of Snow movie to the Land of Rain to film the Utterly Gusty Ninja movie and instead find Pein (it is a real plot point in DOS that they never got to)

HalBarry fic where Hal thinks someone is impersonating the Flash on dating apps so he schedules a date with them but actually Barry just likes eating with people. Obviously turns into real dating lol

Submas fic in a world without Pokemon where Emmet becomes a Pokemon TCG player or streamer or something after Ingo disappears but Ingo is 100% convinced he got isekai'd to the Pokemon world when he comes back so Emmet has to give up Pokemon because he believes all his pokemon stuff is harming his brother's recovery

Submas fic where Ingo is an opera singer. That's it basically.

X-Men 97 fic about Morph deciding to use his real face because reasons

My long term hiatused things:

MCU/Miraculous crossover after the Snap. I wrote the beginning and outlined the rest of it but lost motivation. Not posted.

Young Justice/Naruto crossover focused on a Green Lantern Sai. I started working on it since 2019 and it's been restarted so many times. Not posted.

Ben 10/Sanders Sides crossover where the Sides are aliens. Wrote it in 2020 and lost motivation to keep updating.

My current abandoned fics are a Ben 10 Halloween fic also from 2019 and a TMNT fic from 2018. Pretty good record in my opinion.

My 2025 goals are to keep working on the stepdad Magneto adoption fic, ideally writing those next two arcs, and making progress on that Submas monster au. Maybe also do more oneshots? I always make plans at the beginning of the year and don't stick to them. I want to chase my whims more and not have bigger WIPs so I don't stop myself from writing when an idea hits and I am ready to obsess.

If you want to see/see more of any of the fics I mentioned, feel free to let me know.

[italeteller]

So there's been some talk about Spider-Man: The Animated Series getting it's own sequel in light of X-men 97's success (Nothing confirmed of course, but they're obviously aware there'd be interest in it especially since that Spider-man's had two cameos in the show this season). What would you want to see them do besides resolving the cliffhanger if they did make that show?

Woof, what a question. I don't even remember what the OG show covered tbh

But ok, my biggest wish is that we get 24 episodes. As much as I lvoed X-men '97, as good at it was, 10 episodes was far too little, and personally I think the finale suffered for it

As for stories... I want Peter and MJ to get married and have a kid. I want Mayday on the story. I don't think we're getting the spectacular Spider-girl, not if disney wants to keep the animated universes as an interconnected cinematic universe (which all the cameos in '97 suggests they do) but just. Make the characters age. Make their story go forward. If you're making this for your adult audience, the people who grew with the cartoon, then make the cartoon grow too

Also, maybe a basic bitch answer but Kraven's last hunt and Soul of the hunter would be interesting to see animated. They could do some really horrific stuff with that storyline

Also also, I wanna see Peter as a school teacher and the Ezekiel saga. Specifically, I wanna see the storyline where Peter tracks down one of his student's brother who vanished after getting out of jail - a jail he was in because Spider-man put him there. The idea of really looking into what happens to the regular ass people Spider-man catches, and how his responsibility extends to them after beating them up was incredibly interesting and I'm so mad the comics never really did anything with it

Speaking of really cool things the comics never did anything with! The other. Peter got all these cool new powers and horrible foreboding mystic monster stuff and then they one more day'd it all away. I wanna see it back. I wanna see how Peter's life would've gone with all that stuff

And while we're at it, agent Venom would be cool. Flash in general has a lot of really interesting stuff - I don't remember if the series did anything with him - but him coming back from the army and losing his legs and dealing with that, plus the agent Venom stuff are all good, specially if they include Mania in it. Double specially if we get a Peter-Flash team-up to cleanse the shit taste of what Superior did to my boys

And Kaine! I would love to see the edgelord clone, maybe a few episodes adapting when he moves to Houston as the new Scarlet Spider

I was gonna add something else but I forgot which I'm gonna take as a sign from above to stop here, because the more I think about it the more I could keep going

[itsjustjelly]

I was going through old Vox Machina posts, and I found one from @/eponymous-rose, where they came up with funny alternate titles for the episodes of the campaign. I stole that idea and did it with JRWI Riptide! Here you go:

(Spoilers for up to 115)

Episode 1-2 : "Everything Immediately Went Wrong (Unsurprisingly)"

Episode 3-7: "What's So Funny?"

Episode 8: "This Hot Purple Tiefling Can't Possibly Be Evil"

Episode 9-10: "Is This the Plot of The Hangover?"

Episode 11: "You Should Really See a Therapist, Jay"

Episode 12-14: "These Are The Most Viewed Episodes Because a Popular Minecraft Youtuber is in Them."

Episode 15: "What's a Little Battle to the Death Between Friends?"

Episode: 17: "This Isn't Techincally Kidnapping, Right?"

Episode 16: "The Best (Worst?) Ship Name"

Episode 18: "The Single Worst Possible Character Design Decision"

Episode 19-20: "Holy Shit We're Finally Doing Dungeon Stuff"

Episode 21: "How to Queerbait your Audience"

Episode 22-23: "Cursed Artifact is Given to Person Most Likely to Use it"

Episode 24-25: "Battle of the Bands"

Episode 26: "I Bet This Decision Won't Have Any Consequences (Sequel to Cursed Artifact)"

Episode 27-28: "This Feels Like a Sidequest"

Episode 29-31: "Violent Game of Capture The Flag (With a Frankly Absurd Amount of Pantsing)"

Episode 32: "Oh Yeah, We're in the Middle of a War"

Episode 39-40 "Oh Yeah, We're Still in the Middle of a War"

Episode 33-38: "Cat Fight (Literally)"

Episode 41: "That Decision Had Consequences (Cursed Artifact Part 3)"

Episode 42-46: "Making Bad Decisions (but it Works Out)"

Episode 47: "Finally Naming the Pirate Crew After Almost 50 Episodes"

Episode 48: "Really Feeling the Treasure Planet Inspiration Here"

Episode 49: "Was This Episode Real?"

Episode 50-52: "What the Actual Fuck Grizzly"

Episode 53: "Crying About Daddy Issues in Cosplay"

Episode 53-55: "The Mario Water Level of the Campaign"

Episode 56: "Why Would You Do That?!"

Episode 57-58: "Family Reunions and Lesbians"

Episode 59-60: "Our Friend Might Be Dead. Anyway, Lets Go Shopping!"

Episode 61-62: "Making Bad Decisions Again (it Doesn't Work Out This Time)"

Episode 63: "Loss of the Single Best NPC in D&D History"

Episode 64: "Reminder That Your Actions Have Consequences"

Episode 65-67: "Roblox Murder Mystery"

Episode 68-68: "No, That's Not a Typo"

Episode 70: "Fighting Our Friend's Inner Demons (Literally)"

Episode 71-72: "The Feywild is Insane"

Episode 73: "Hey, Where's Gillion?"

Episode 74-80: "Hee Hoo! This Arc Was a Fever Dream!"

Episode 81: "Oops, This One's Got Self Worth Issues"

Episode 82: "Gillion Hatches"

Episode 83-84: "Semi-consensual Attempted Murder"

Episode 85: "How to Lose All of Your Money In Three Simple Steps!"

Episode 86: "Fight to the Death Between Friends, but with Character Development"

Episode 87: "Fanartists' Hell"

Episode 88: "Return of the Single Best NPC in D&D History"

Episode 89: "We're Not High Enough Level for That Yet'

Episode 90: "Cat Fight (With Murder This Time)"

Episode 91-92: "The Riptide Pirates Get Blazed (and Then Eaten)"

Episode 93: "Oh Shit, Lore"

Episode 94-96: "Callbacks: The Arc"

Episode 97: "The Best April Fools Prank Ever"

Episode 98: "Gillion Doesn't Die (Somehow)"

Episode 99: "This Ended Too Well, Something Has to Go Wrong"

Episode 100-101: "Something Went Wrong"

Episode 102: "We're Finally High Enough Level for That"

Episode 103-108: "NO WE WEREN'T HOLY SHIT AAH AAAAAH"

Episode 109-110: "Chip Dies (NOT CLICKBAIT!!!)

Episode 111-112: "Tonal Whiplash"

Episode 113: "No Comment"

Episode 114-115: "Here's a Massive Cliffhanger, See You in Six Months!"

(Since the campaign is still ongoing, I will be updating this as new episodes release)

[kamenstranger]

Batman: Caped Crusader Review.

Well, I didn't expect to be reviewing another cartoon so soon but I forgot this was still happening and here we are. So much like X-men '97 I will be getting into spoilers, even some finale stuff. But it's nothing you probably wouldn't already know. Like is saying something along the lines of "Harvey becomes Two-Face" or "Selina becomes Catwoman" really a spoiler? Still, if you want to go in completely clean then I'll give short spoiler-free summary: It's fine. It's good, even very good. It has enough going on without being overly reliant on nostalgia, though a lot concepts and ideas that never made it into TAS are used; which is obvious in some episodes like 2 and 8 which honest to god feel like lost episodes (sans the obnoxious references in 8.) But even a number of other episodes feel like they could've fit right in.

Likewise, the animation is simply lovely and feels like an appropriate continuation of the DCAU while also working as a throw back to TAS with its use of shadows and art deco design. They even have a film grain effect that looks shockingly good; uplifting the show's late 30s early 40s aesthetic by adding some literal grit. I've seen numerous productions go overboard with adding grain in post, but Caped Crusader keeps it very subtle and is probably the best you're going to do with a modern production. Frederik Wiedmann's score also complements the atmosphere, adding that quintessential gothic noir vibe. The entire soundtrack is on youtube and is well worth listening in isolation.

If I had one compliant... it's that Batman is the weakest and most underwritten part of the show. Regardless, the show has enough quality elements to make it worth a watch.

However, if you're interested in leaning more about my thoughts, hit the jump.

Let's start with some background information. Contrary to how it seems, this isn't nor was it ever intended to be a prequel to TAS-- at least that's what they say. It was originally a sequel to The New Batman Adventures before transmogrifying into another 30s-ish setting and using abandoned episode concepts from TAS along with completely original works. A number of episodes at the very least feel like they were written with a prequel mindset, and the final shot of the series was absolutely conceptualized as lead-in to TAS and is begging for the Walker Theme to kick in. But despite how much this could work as a prequel with just a few tweaks, I think making it disconnected was the right call. For one thing, with Conroy gone I don't think you could ever make something that leads into that very specific version of Batman, it wouldn't feel right. Secondly, it allows the series to stand on it's own and not rely on TAS as a crutch; even if comparisons are inevitable with the period setting and Bruce Timm's designs. Additionally the tone of the series is right in line with The Animated Series, only slightly darker and never going overboard just to be considered "adult." Characters say damn, people die, sometimes there's blood, the occasional gruesome character design, some stories are super pulpy and even have a slower pace than what they would've done on network TV for Y7+. But otherwise this would've fit fine on Toonami back in the day and the option to go darker is there should the story demand it. I will admit I'm a bit of an easy mark for this, particularly the heavy pulp elements that remind of The Shadow and The Spider.

On that note, Cape Crusader is a bit more basic in terms of setting and scope. I'm using "basic" loosely because there are still some eccentricities like Gentleman Ghost showing up, but outside the one supernatural aspect-- and an umbrella cannon-- there's nothing too crazy. No Freeze guns, mutant plant ladies, robots, Lazarus pits, mind controlling cards, airships etc. Clayface might be the one other outlier, but even that's just a guy who can change his appearance, not a big clay monster who can form a mace hand. I'm perfectly fine with all of this. We've already had a vintage Batman series that did all that anyway, so why not do something a little different and keep it simple? In maintaining that simplicity, most of CC is episodic with a larger narrative sprinkled throughout: Ruport Thorne is slowly taking over Gotham and begins trying to leverage Harvey Dent who is running for Mayor. That's it, that's the main plot. The more nitty-gritty parts largely center on relatively self contained adventures around the trio of Lawyer Barbara Gordon, GCPD detective Renee Montoya, and Therapist Harleen Quinzel.

It's a decent compromise between how involved modern shows have become sprawling season long stories while still maintaining the appeal of a self contained case in any given episode.

Of the three, Barbara (Krystal Joy Brown) has the most active role throughout the entire run and is arguably the main character of the show. She's compassionate about people, her clients, criminals and their circumstances. She has a strong balance between someone who is optimistic yet not naive, although still young enough to not have the harsher experiences as her father. This allows a contrast between her and Gordon's world weary, almost Black and White POV. In fact, her willingness to hear people out and consider alternatives leads to her establishing a form of contact with Batman before her father.

Renee Montoya (Michelle C. Bonilla) is about on par with Barbara in playing an active role in the series, albeit almost always work related for obvious reasons. She's a consummate professional, brilliant detective and the only trustworthy cop outside Gordon. That last part is particularly note worthy since it actually gives Gordon a reliable subordinate and not just Bullock. She has solid chemistry with Barbara and there's a lot of untapped potential with her and Harley. And hey, nice to get little bit of the two dating and smooching. Speaking of, Harley (Jamie Chung) is surprisingly prominent in the first half and I love how they handle her. She's legit intelligent and even knows there's something up with the public perception of Bruce. She's quirky without rehashing the whole bubbly blonde routine, she's delightfully flirty with Renee and she's also fucking demented. Oh yes, Harley is already cracked, but in a curious way where she's not exactly insane but clearly has a dark side she indulges. Honestly? Really neat to see a version of a character not influenced by Joker. She's still a Harlequin, of course, but much more traditional and I love that we don't waste time going through an origin. She just uses her therapist profession as a means to hash out her idea of justice against clients she can't reach, often mind breaking rich jackasses who refuse to better themselves. Harley assigns them personalities and forces repetitive tasks or absurd tortures. In a cute little meta nod she's responsible for creating the persona of King Tut, a character originally created for the '66 show, just as she was a creation for TAS.

I also have to mention Chung's voice acting, which the VA in the show is great all around, of course. But villain roles always get to stick out, and this is a prime example. The shift between that very intelligent caring quirky woman to… what I can only call an analytical seductive manipulator and abuser, well it's just wonderful. We've had so much of bubbly Quinn and silly crass Quinn that this version is so refreshing and one of the most pleasant surprises out of the show.

There are other characters outside the trio, but I simply don't have much to say about Gordan, Flass, or Bullock. The VA is impeccable, as previously mentioned; I love Eric Morgan's Gordon, Gary Anthony Williams' Flass and John DiMaggio's Bullock. Perfect casting. But character wise they simply serve a role and I don't have much to say about them. Gordon is, well, Gordon trying his best among a corrupt department full of people like Flass and Bullock. Flass himself is brilliantly sly and Bullock is a slob who does all the dirty work. I will say that even if I don't have much to go into with them, I do appreciate how much Flass and Bullock are featured and how effectively they're utilized.

The only major reoccurring character left to go in-depth on, outside Batman, is Harvey Dent; ironically voiced by Brave and the Bold Batman, Diedrich Bader. Harvey is… odd in this series. He's a dick headed "tough on crime" sleazy DA who is self interested in becoming Mayor, no matter who he has to steamroll to get there. On one hand it is an interesting angle; a man of once upstanding morals slowing eroding them to gain political favor with the ultimate goal of proper reform-- assuming he even has any left by the end of it. There is an inkling of a great idea in the political process of Gotham grinding you down, bringing out your worst, makes you compromise too much. The system changes you, not the other way around.

The issue is the tragedy of a good if flawed man giving into his worse impulses doesn't entirely work due to the simple fact we hardly see a good side to Harvey. No signs of a different better person underneath or who he used to be before DA. The show only gives Harvey one very minor scene of empathy and moral upstanding before his disfigurement, so he kinda goes from jaded cynical asshat to homicidal asshat. To give the show credit, that is in part the intent. We don't like Harvey all that much but still feel bad when we see how sad and broken he is, all because he finally did something good and he's punished for it. The episode dealing with the aftermath of the acid attack is really solid at showcasing his slip into insanity and drawing forth pathos. In a bubble it works beautifully; A man who was already breaking, even if they didn't know, now thinks everyone is out to get him. Almost every invasive thought is acted upon. They also don't make Two-Face the default or more common of the personas, it's a lot of back and forth. Harvey is relatively calm one moment but suddenly becomes violent the next. Hell, he even has moments of clarity and great remorse not only for his actions as Two-Face but as DA. The episode is handled very well and Bader is selling the hell out of it. I just wish there was more before that change, a little more to like about Harvey Dent. Bruce was friends with this guy and from an audience perspective it's kinda hard to see why, Harvey is a shit head, an absolute knob. I dunno, Batman is kind of dick in this so maybe there's something to be said there? But even so, his dynamic with Barbara is FAR more engaging and nuanced than with Bruce because Barbara has more impactful scenes and is the direct opposite of the same coin. I kinda wonder if the stuff with Bruce was something shoved in at the last minute because they felt they had to. Which I guess that finally bring me to Batman, who you may have noticed I've talked very little about in this Batman show up until now.

Batman is a boring wet white rice motherfucker with barely a character arc and almost no connections to the main cast.

Oh sure, every episode has Batman doing things that move the plot along, provides some very minor characterization or some plain 'ol detective work which is fun to see. But even when he does investigating, finds a clue, confronts a villain etc. it feels lacking because his interactions with the rest of the cast are severely limited and sporadic.

Batman himself is integral to the show, but he's more like an anchor for the rest of the cast who have far more captivating screen time and better defined relationships. Babs is friends with Harley and Renee, Harley and Renee are dating, Renee works for Gordon, Barbara is of course Gordon's daughter, Harley has a brief stint as a consultant for the GCPD, and Harvey works opposite Barbara. These people flow into each others stories, converse, have opposing or similar ideologies to make stories around. Batman lock picks and punches things. I mean, Christ, he doesn't have a friendship with Gordon because this is long before that, he treats Alfred like a valuable tool rather than family and he has more empathy for Nocturna in a one off episode than Harvey over the entire season. I'm serious when I say I think the friendship was tacked on, because there's a line in ep 6 about Dent's biggest donors pulling out of his campaign, implying Bruce never gave any money. Maybe they could've made an entire subplot about the Batman aspect taking so much priority that he ignored Dent's troubles until it was too late. Have Batman learn a lesson about balancing the personas and how Bruce Wayne can be equally useful in aiding Gotham-- and the consequences of forgetting that. Maybe even intersperse flashbacks to a younger Bruce and more optimistic and likeable Dent to show why and how they became friends. This could've been done in a two-parter just like how Robin was handled in TAS.

For the instances the show does put a spotlight on just Batman it's simply going through the motions. The best we get is Bruce Wayne attending therapy sessions with Quinn, which is a great concept ultimately wasted on flashbacks of Bruce's childhood I've seen a dozen times over and maybe should've been used to explore his relationship with Dent.

Another reason why this Batman is so bland is because there are almost no sympathetic villains, which you've probably gathered by now. Harvey in the last episode and Nocturna in ep. 8 are the only two that fit the criteria (And frankly Barbara does more to help Harvey.) But everyone else? No tragic backstory, no victim of circumstance, no injustice, and no chance to showcase Batman's greatest attribute. On paper I understand what they were going for; this is an early Batman attempting (and sometimes failing) to be emotionally walled off. He's in the background, he needs to learn to open up and temper his anger. Midway into the season have something drastic happen to shake his resolve (endangering Alfred, of course)

By the end of the series he begins casually referring to him as Alfred rather than "Pennyworth" and he's established connections with Barbara, Jim and Renee. I don't dislike this slow burn, I enjoy seeing Batman's humanity slowly seep through. The series has a lot of great little moments where we see that happening, like Batman chastising Barbara for being reckless right after she saved his ass and a friend of hers is assumed dead. She's going through a lot and Batman clearly doesn't know how to processes the situation, he doesn't know how to be comforting.

There's also a great scene in the finale that I'm pretty sure was a giant middle finger to a certain director. The problem is the entire season is doing things like that. Sure we get growth for the character, but that's grueling for a 10 episode season. Maybe it's just me, but I'd kinda like to be more invested in the title character before the season finale. But as is so often the case with streaming we're limited to just 10 episodes per season. It's... so tiresome spending an entire run getting Batman to a state where we can actually tie him in with the rest of the ensemble cast and show some goddamn empathy. I realize rushing through this could result in the opposite problem, but this once again leads to me pointing out, as always, the stories writers want to tell are too big for these gimped 6-10 episode season the modern streaming has pushed on all of us. You know the first season of The Animated Series was a whopping 65 episodes? I probably wouldn't be talking about this problem if we even had a quarter of that.

I do want to stress this is no fault of the performance, which I know is going to be on everyone's mind. This is a problem with writing, the limited episode count, and possibly Zaslav not seeing enough blood in his stool before dumping this production onto Amazon. Conroy alone wouldn't have been enough to elevate the more shallow aspects of Batman's character, it just wouldn't. The writing for Batman specifically is very by the numbers at best. If this was material that fell flat because of Conroy's absence that would be one thing, but it's just bland characterization from the get go and no amount of nostalgia, art style, or iconic voice work will cover that up. It's kind of funny because the show is enjoyable by in large, but the title character is the weakest part. I wouldn't be surprised if a great deal of the mixed reception was because of that. "Batman is the worst part of a Batman show" is a perfectly valid and damning criticism.

That said, I do want to praise Hamish Linklater, the poor guy's got his work cut out for him, being in the Shadow of the Bat, as it were, and he does a fine job. I can tell it's not Conroy, obviously, and sometimes it sounds like a mix of Brave and the Bold with New Frontier Batman where I'm not sure if he's trying to do an impression or not. But midway through the series it starts to get really close, there are even moments that remind me of Conroy's performance in TAS' Two-Face two parter, glimpses where Linklater almost has the softer tones down pat. And his Bruce is damn near spot on. I hope he stays on as a voice for Batman and gets more opportunities as the character, he could potentially become to Conroy's Batman what Matthew Lillard is to Casey Kasem's Shaggy; It's not the same, but goddamn do they do a fine job capturing the tone and vibe while being a fine performer in their own right.

But they have GOT to give him better material because this Batman is sorely lacking in the things I love most about the character.

Speaking of, I don't want to spend too long discussing the second season (Which it is getting) but I have concerns there. The big one for me is foreshadowing that Alfred is keeping a secret about the night the Waynes were shot. I HATE when they over complicate the murder and try to make it something more like a targeted hit, or the court of owls or some other stupid shit. That's the one major thing I hate in The Batman movie is them muddying the waters with a perfectly good victim of circumstance story-- although it's kinda worse there because they wouldn't even fully commit. But I digress. I do not want the shit with the Waynes more complicated than it needs to be. If Alfred suggested a shortcut and he feels responsible for their deaths, sure, whatever. That's simple enough to add some character drama without going overboard. But it's probably gonna be the big overarching story next season with secret twists and- blegh. Honestly, I think I'd rather just have stand alone episodes without a running narrative thread; just have the characters and their dynamics developing and that be it. The show is clearly better when it's just that. But alas, modern streaming.

But with all that said, I still liked the season well enough. As I said at the beginning, the series is good to very good. I love the atmosphere, I enjoy most of the character and the cast, the self contained stories are solid and there's plenty of potential. But next season I need Batman and the villains to be more interesting, let Linklater give a sympathetic performance for fucks sake. If Season 2 is just more of the same, I'll clock out.

Still, I guess anything is better than say Harley assaulting Nightwing... Or the Killing Joke. You know what, there's a blurb of recommendation for Caped Crusader: "No weirdo awkwardly shoved their fetishes into the story." So check it out.

[literaticat]

No one has ever said "we're hoping for x sales in the first week/month/year" and knowing publishing I doubt anyone ever will. So how can I know if my book sales are meeting/exceeding/falling short of my publisher's expectations?

They won't ever say that, for several reasons. Mainly because, well, it's just mean. MOST books don't blow up the bestseller lists or earn heaps of awards and huge sales or whatever out of the gate. Like, the vast majority of books just kind chug along in a modest fashion -- and that's fine, actually. Hopefully the audience will build over time, as more people read the book, it starts to get in the hands of educators and stuff like that, it gets word-of-mouth from readers... for most books, that's the hope and expectation, and that takes time.

Granted, if you were among the like, 3% of books that got a HUGE advance and MAJOR media coverage and whatnot ahead of the release-- well, yes, in that case they would really like it if it got on the NYT list and might be a BIT disappointed if it didn't. But if you're among the 97% of everyone else? Don't sweat it. You're fine, and they know building an audience takes time.

If you earn out right away? You're doing AMAZING. If you earn out in the first year -- you're doing GREAT. (Frankly, if you earn out EVER -- they are happy!) Even if you DON'T EVER earn out, but come close, you're fine -- because publishers start to make money on your book before you earn out. Any of these things = success in the eyes of the publisher.

If, after a year or two, you are not even close to earning out AT ALL and it's pretty clear you never will be-- that's falling short of their expectations. But also, well -- what can you do about it? Literally nothing, except keep on truckin. They aren't sitting around stewing about it or anything, they forgot already, and hopefully you too will have already long moved on to other books that will perform better.

And who knows -- maybe that first book will be in a viral tik-tok or something and blow up at some point, and then everyone will be happily surprised!

**

(For what it's worth - this does happen. For example, I rep an author who had a book come out in hardcover in 2008, pb in 2010. It did fine but nothing huge. In 2019, somebody at B&N "rediscovered it" and the publisher reprinted with a new jacket - and during the pandemic it BLEW UP, and now a decade after the first book, a sequel is coming out! There's such a thing as *book magic* -- and publishing people have seen it happen too often to not believe in it. May *book magic* strike all of us!)

[randomperson660]

As it is su¡cide prevention month

Here’s 100 reasons NOT to commit su¡cide

Feel free to comment/reblog with resources and more below, you matter, you’re loved

1. It's something your parents will never get over

2. It'll destroy your sibling(s)

3. It'll destroy your best friends

4. Everyone will miss you

5. Your pets will be lost without you

6. Publish your writing

7. Tell your story

8. Give it time to get better, because it will

9. Help other people

10. Travel

11. Art

12. Have a drink at 21

13. Get tattooed

14. Graduate High school

15. Graduate College

16. Get married

17. Have kids (if wanted)

18. Drive/learn how to

19. Live on your own one day

20. Concerts

21. Music

22. New movies

23. New music

24. Next album from your favourite artist

25. Next season of your favourite show

26. Sequel to your favourite movie

27. Learn a new instrument

28. Photography

29. Reading

30. New books

31. See a book your like become a movie

32. Meet your idols

33. Have a job, get a first paycheque

34. Go scuba diving

35. See a bunch of different animals in person

36. Go to museums

37. Go to haunted places

38. Learn a new language

39. Go in a hot air balloon

40. (Go to) New York City/Paris/Rome

41. Food!

42. See yourself recover

43. Be an inspiration

44. It’s a permanent solution to a temporary problem

45. You matter

46. You are important

47. You are not worthless

48. You make other people happy

49. You are never truly alone

50. Making new friends

51. People do care about you

52. There is only one you in the whole world!

53. You have so much potential!

54. You’re super smart

55. You can do great things

56. Treehouses!!!!

57. Hugs 🫂

58. Kisses

59. Stargazing

60. Dancing!

61. You could save someones life

62. You have so much more ahead of you

63. Beaches!

64. Listening to Rainstorms

65. Waking up to sunshine and birds chirping

66. Snow!

67. Holidays

68. Halloween!!!

69. Autumn/Fall!

70. Opening presents

71. Your next birthday!

72. You’re so talented

73. Laughing REALLY hard!

74. The world wouldn’t be the same :(

75. Flowers!!

76. Be your own hero!

77. Bubble baths and bath bombs!!!

78. Cuddling 🫂

79. Lying on the grass and watching the clouds

80. Drinking hot chocolate

81. Doing crazy shit with your best friend

82. Finally meeting your long distance friends/partners

83. Staying up all night and sleeping in

84. Your scars WILL heal!

85. Cute baby animals

86. Your life can only get better

87. You have a voice and a right to be heard

88. Experiencing life and all it has to offer

89. This feeling is only temporary

90. Going on that car ride somewhere nice

91. Watching broadway!

92. Singing your heart out

93. Eating your favourite meal

94. Discovering new places and things to do

95. Proving yourself WRONG!

96. Proving to yourself that you are capable!

97. Watching yourself grow!

98. Watching those your love grow

99. Giving someone else hope for the future

100. You deserve to be happy

If you made it this far, tell me something about yourself! Anything!What’s your birthday? Favourite song? Artist you like?

I wanna see em! Tell me! I wanna hear all of it!

You matter, you’re important and you’re going to heal

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Super 001

All right, time for Dragon Ball Super. 

Let’s set the stage first.  In 2013, the Dragon Ball franchise returned with the feature film Battle of Gods.  I often refer to that film as “Movie 14″, in keeping with the convention of the previous DBZ movies, but Battle of Gods was on a completely different level.  In addition to being longer and more complex than the old movies, this one had Akira Toriyama overseeing things much more directly than in the past.  It added new characters and lore to the franchise, and it capitalized on the pent-up demand for new DB content.  In short, it was a hit, and a sequel was planned soon after. 

Shortly after Resurrection F premiered in 2015, there came announcements that there would be a new manga and a new TV anime for the Dragon Ball franchise.  Chapter 1 of the Dragon Ball Super comic was published on June 20, 2015, and Episode 1 of the anime aired on July 5, 2015. 

And so, the Dragon Ball Renaissance was in full swing. The only problem was that Dragon Ball Super had a pretty weak start.  And a lousy middle.  And a pretty dull third quarter.   And... it didn’t really get good until episode 97.  Well, that’s just my opinion.  There are plenty of critics who hated the entire thing, and there are others who enjoyed it from beginning to end.  Still, I maintain that Super was a mixed bag, which kind of tarnishes the brand’s reputation. 

On the other hand, I’m not sure that mattered much in the long run.  Fans love Dragon Ball, and I think most of the fanbase was just hyped to get a new show, even in spite of its problems.  The classic shows were far from perfect, after all, and the important thing was that there was something new featuring Goku and the gang.  And there is a lot to enjoy about Dragon Ball Super, even if it takes a while to get there.

Continuity-wise, this series takes place between Episodes 288 and 289 of Dragon Ball Z.   If you’re not familiar with DBZ... seriously, why are you reading this?  Anyway, Goku and the others defeated Majin Buu in episode 286, and then there were some epilogue scenes, and then the series skipped ahead ten years for a finale depicted in Episode 289-291.  Dragon Ball Super takes place during that period, what fans have termed the “Ten Year Gap.”

Accordingly, this episode opens with a recap of the Kid Buu fight, since that was the last big thing to happen recently. 

Just so we’re clear, this is the big distinction between DBS and Dragon Ball GT.  Both were presented as sequel series to DBZ, but their chronology is different.  GT is set five years after DBZ 291, while Super is set 0-9 years before it.  Also, Dragon Ball GT sucks ass, while Super is just kind of bad in a lot of places. 

Let’s get that straight up front.  I’ll probably draw some comparisons between Super and GT as we go, but I’m not interested in doing some “which was better?” discussion here.  GT is awful, and I recently spent six weeks writing about exactly how awful it was.  I’m not really eager to refer back to that.  There’s some really lousy episodes of Super, and I’m sure I’ll bring up the matter of whether or not they’re GT-level terrible, but there’s no point in doing that every single time.  Super has a lot of problems, but GT is a problem. 

The big issue I’m faced with here is that the first 28 episodes of Super are mostly comprised of a decompressed re-telling of Battle of Gods and Resurrection F.  There’s also a few filler episodes of varying quality, but very little actually happens in any of them, and they’re mostly warm-and-fuzzy-feeling stories with little meat to them.  Which means that there really isn’t a whole lot for me to write about.

So what I’m going to try to do is zip through these relatively quickly, so that I can move on to the important stuff later on.  If you haven’t seen Battle of Gods, then do yourself a favor and check out the movie, because I have no interest in giving it a thorough recap here.

All right, so there’s only a handful of things that actually take place in this story.  Goku’s a farmer now, and sometimes Goten brings him his lunch and drives the tractor for him.  Goku wishes he could train on King Kai’s planet, but Chi-Chi wants him to earn a living, and Goku’s not interested in the kind of celebrity business that Mr. Satan does. 

Meanwhile, Mr. Satan has just received a big cash award for his heroic defense of the Earth.  Remember, even though Goku defeated Kid Buu with a Spirit Bomb, the people of Earth don’t remember Majin Buu, because they used the Dragon Balls to make everyone forget Buu’s involvement in that crisis.  So the world believes Mr. Satan saved them from some kind of alien invasion, but they have no idea what it was.  Satan brags about his power in press conferences, but in private he offers the money to Goku, since he actually deserves it.  Also, Vegeta refused the cash off-screen, possibly because he’s already married to the richest woman on Earth. 

Goku reluctantly accepts, because, as Goten points out, the money would convince Chi-Chi to let him go train on King Kai’s planet.

Then we’ve got a few subplots that go nowhere.  For example, we see Satan here giving a speech about receiving the award, when Buu barges in demanding food.  No one knows who Buu is, and Satan has to explain that Buu is an alien who sought to train under Mr. Satan as a disciple.  The press buys this, which sets up DBZ Episode 290, where Mr. Buu is widely known as Mr. Satan’s top student. 

Meanwhile, Videl buys Gohan an expensive academic book to aid in his research.  Gohan feels bad that he can’t reciprocate the gesture, but Videl doesn’t care because she can afford it, and the smarter Gohan gets, the more appealing he gets as arm candy.  Also, Piccolo watches them from the rooftops.  I remember seeing this in 2015 and foolishly thinking any of this was going to lead to anything in later episodes.  I guess Piccolo was irked about Gohan not keeping up with his training, which did get paid off in the Super Hero movie last year, but it looks more like he’s jealous more than anything else.  As for Muzakashii Hon (lit. “Difficult Book”), you’d think the long, detailed look we get at this book means that it would become an important plot device, but no, it never gets seen again.  Well, it appears in the opening credits, but so what?

Meanwhile, Beerus visits an alien planet, samples their cuisine, and then destroys it.  I remember thinking this depiction of Beerus meant that the series took place after Battle of Gods, since we saw Beerus wake up from a 39-year nap in that movie, but in this episode, he’s already on the move, and it isn’t clear yet whether the events of Movie 14 have happened or not.  But no, we’re just re-doing the same story, only with details changed for no reason, and much slower.

Finally, there’s a whole thing where Goten wants to buy a gift for Videl, since she’s going to be marrying Gohan soon.  He doesn’t know what to get her, so he asks Trunks for advice, and he settles on eau du toilette, since his mom likes that stuff.  This just leads to a “hilarious” misunderstanding, as the boys overhear an old man complaining that the cosmetics at a store are nothing compared to the rejuvenating hot spring.  So they go there, thinking they can just fill a bottle with water from that place instead, but when they see all the old people bathing in it, they fly further upstream and get that water instead. 

Let’s clear this up now, because I’ve seen eau du toilette jokes for most of my life, and I’ve never understood them.  I mean, sure, it has the word “toilet” in it, but the phrase is always used in a pun, which makes no sense, because the pronunciation is different.  “TOY-let”.  “Oh duh twah-LET”.  Goten’s not going to hear the word and think of toilet water.

So what is eau du toilette?  It’s French for “grooming water”, but it isn’t actually water at all.  It’s a dilute solution of fragrance oils in alcohol.  Stronger than aftershave, but weaker than perfume.  The punchline here is that Goten and Trunks show up at Videl’s house and give her a bottle of creek water, and she realizes that it’s literally just water, so she goes through the motions and tells the boys how much she loves it. 

What else have we got?  Uh... Master Roshi somehow hears about the money Satan gave Goku, and he wants to use it to buy pornography.  Chi-Chi doesn’t like that idea.

And the Supreme Kais notice the destruction of all those planets and wonder what it could mean.  So yeah, we’re just introducing characters at this point. 

And that’s it.  Very little actually gets done in this episode, although in its defense, it’s trying to reintroduce characters that haven’t appeared on TV in a long time.  Even if this series wasn’t about to retell Battle of Gods, it would still play out pretty much the same way.  On the other hand, I think it’s kind of dumb to make a show like this, cashing in on the success of two feature films, and then acting like no one knows who’s who. 

[alaffy]

Batman: Caped Crusader

This is going to be some general thoughts about this show. There won't be any spoilers about the plot (mostly because I'm only half way through the season), but there will be some about the characters the cut (although it's probably nothing that people don't already know unless they've somehow avoided any characters references since before the show began).

This show is created by Bruce Timm; the same person who created Batman: The Animated Series (among others). While this series has the same aesthetic as Animated; it is not tied to the original (which is probably for the best as a sequel would be hard to watch without Kevin Conroy).

Like X-Men '97, this show has clearly been "aged up" as the most likely viewers are those who watched Animated. That being said, unlike X-Men '97, this show only had to make a few adjustments because Animated really was geared toward...well, kids could watch it, but the target audience probably was teenagers and young adults. (Honestly, instead of making it more kid friendly with The Adventures of Batman and Robin, WB should've bitten the bullet and made it a prime time animated series). However, like both X-Men and X-Men '97, this show has more of a storyline running throughout the season.

Getting into the character of Bruce/Batman...so, I wouldn't go so far as to say this is a year one Batman; but it's clear that this is closer to the beginning of Batman. Maybe a year two. As for the voice actor, I feel like he's trying to match or he's been told to match Conroy (which he kind of does when he plays Bruce). If that is the case...not a fan.

There's some differences with the characters. Some I like, some not so much. Catwomen was so cool in Adventures and they've turned her into a whiney little brat in this show. Harvey Dent...has become a real asshole. I like Barbra as a character, but are they going to make her Batgirl? I mean, actually call her Batgirl...cause that would be demeaning.

I do like the new Harley Quinn. I mean, the original Harley Quinn will always have a special place in my heart; and what they were able to do with this character was nothing short of amazing (Mad Love, just the fact that they were able to produce that episode...). At the same time, Harley Quinn wasn't made to be this iconic character, it just sort of happened. I kind of like the idea of the creator of the character going back to the drawing board, removing the Joker factor, and seeing what he can do with her. Look, this version will not replace the original; but she's an interesting alternate version.

As for The Penguin, they chose to make her a woman. Personally, I liked this version. That being said, they also gave her sons. And this is early in Batman's career. Wouldn't surprise me if, come season 2, another son shows up and he becomes The Penguin. either way, I'm cool with it.

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forest's whispers summary 2.0 because im a lazy motherfucker and im not writing that multichapter shit (this will be very badly explained i never take my explanations seriously)

for the wonderful @phantom-does-a-thing :3

tw/cw horror , implied gore , themes of death / self harm / sui , derealization

this takes place like during/after ep 99 if you want a timeline ref if you k ow the scene with them sitting by the navy tower i think that happened lmao cant remmeber its been a bit anyways

albatrio pass out, wake up in funky lil forest and are like "lets split up and find shit yk figure out where we are" adn chibo feels drawn to a funny silly path that he goes down! and then theres a lake an he's like "hrmm im thirsty :3" and drinks from it and passes out

wakes up half drowned now in the lake, gets yanked out by the other two, and then has a breakdown (as you do)

and now they go and adventure! but theres something fucked up about the funny forest and every time chibo schleeps we get kuba kinta curse shit but sooo much fucking worse we get several end of 97 vibe scenes where bro is in denial and isnt sure whats real and what isnt (love me some of that shit) all the while the forest is like out to get them theres shit attacking them every so often and chip ends up basically being out of commision really quickly so now its down to jay and gil to fight it off

and during one of these encounters with the very much so alive forest jay goes to defend chibo and basically gets taken (or killed depending on the timeline)

and this is where it diverges between my two timeline ideas

timeline a) gil either rescues jay or gets her out before she can be taken

timeline b) gil doesnt get to her in time and she gets taken (unbeknownst to them shes basically very gorily mauled to death)

both timelines would come to the end of the forest bit shortly after this

timeline a would have chip slowly deteriorating away (atp is puking up plants that fuck up his insides and blood and shit, this stuff also slowly gets worse with the new curse on him alongside the physical effects and injuries he gains) and jay n gil find somewhere where they think they could get him help, he ushers them both away and basically just lets himself die

we get a scene where the other two come back and theres a whole huge grief bit, gil basically is just bonkers as shit now because jesus fucking christ bro just died and they go and find some way to bring him back (not sure what exactly i have ideas tho) and yeah they inevitably bring him back but chibo is very fucked up (very physically damaged and his vocal cords are fucked up from shit lmao)

timeline b, however, is the more fun one

since they didnt get jay, gil goes searching for her and ends up finding her (very gorey) body and just had a breakdown then and there menawhile chip has just decided "im fuckin done i cant do this no more" and basically very violently pukes shit up and kinda claws his own gut open and just has a less peaceful death overall

gil basically had to watch this helplessly because they are frozen in fear and just anguish and now theyre in this tiny little alcove with the gorey bodies of their two best friends and they just go insane and end up just driving their sword through themself because they cant take this no more

so yeah i made that 👍 theres a sequel to timeline a with spittake and grizz but thats another topic for another time

here's my playlist for this au if you want it: