#'we want complex c-' no you dont. just say it. be honest. you dont!

[beelzeballing]

having your two favorite arcane characters be viktor and mel AND shipping jayvik at the same time is like. on one hand i cannot stop collecting w's but also the whole fandom has it out for me cuz the jayvik shippers hate mel and the mel lovers hate jayvik. why cant we all just hold hands. why must we fight.

[lostacelonnie]

18, 19, 24 + KIRA!!!!!!! - lee :3

HII HI HI LEE THANK YOU SO SO MUCH

[ask game]

18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?

okay so i could go about this for HOURSSSS but kira and bianka's mentor/mentee relationship genuinely makes me want to eat bricks in the best possible way. oh so like okay kira probably held bianka as a baby and doesn't even know it until like. what. 5 years after their meeting in the dudu vn. and also during one of their first convos kira says that bianka "really knows how to encourage others, just like cecilia". and also the Bond between someone who comes from earth but after the second eruption was away from it for so long that she no longer really recognizes it, and someone who had all their memories wiped, any "inherent tie" she might've had to the world around her severed, and had to build her connection to it all by herself. and also the duty of a valkyrie vs the duty of an idol as expressed in the vn in this specific dialogue:

Kira: Idols are angels meant to convey love, and only a heart with the desire of "reaching the top" can carry such a heavy task. Kira: She needs to become the person that everyone needs. Kira: She needs to fight against her own shortcomings, immaturity, selfishness and prejudice. Kira: And more than that, in order to convey true love in the hearts of others she must be like an unbreakable diamond, shining forever. Bianka: ...How can someone do that? People can get hurt at any time! Kira: Even lions get hurt, but they don't let themselves be seen licking their wounds. Kira: Because a lion is a lion.

like do you GET me. obviously this is a part of schicksal rhetoric that kira herself is a victim of [do not get me started on kira's savior complex i will Not stop talking] but it's also one of the first GENUINE, not schicksal-arranged role models bianka had in her life. kira was a valkyrie, sure, but she has Seen Shit and persevered and i think tiny bian needed to meet someone like that. okay hold on im rambling lets move onnnnn ^-^

19. How about a relationship they have in canon that you don't like?

im gonna be entirely honest i cant think of anything.... though there Are a couple i would've liked to get more. Elaboration on. specifically:

1. human niggurath. i wonder if they were close. i mean like, yeah they WERE close because all of the snowwolves were close with each other but i wanna know more about these 2 specifically!! in 2e we get much more of a focus on niggurath's relationship with salome [which is delicious do not get me wrong] but i wonder what it was like between her and kira, with brown sugar's later bodyhopping i mean. speaking of which i wonder how naturally similar to niggurath brown sugar is.... cause like, we know that she continued using her previous host's name and form because thats how kira referred to her but i wonder how much of it is genuine and how much of it is "wearing a red shirt at walmart" type of situation. because in my mind it could be either that a) shub and brown sugar are really just that alike by themselves, b) brown sugar kind of melded shub's personality with her own when she lived in her body, or c) she only developed that after being with kira. which. i believe the latter is the closest to canon since in dudu vn kira mentions brown sugar not being entirely Sentient (yet?). which. has implications. yes im psychoanalyzing her comic relief alien best friend dont even worry about it

2. siegfried but SPECIFICALLY post-sshc arc. because yeah yeah we know that before 2e she fucking DESPISED him [which btw i find hysterically funny. never stop being a hater] and while ik that she has Not improved her opinion after that it still must be. strange. like oh okay theyre one of the only people who remember cecilia for who she was. and the snowwolves for who they were. and they were both away from their home universe for most of the time between 2e and sshc. like that must fuck you up. but at the same time its also "i miss my wife" "i miss your wife too"

3. THE WOMAN THE LEGENDARY LADY CECILIA SCHARIAC HERSELF. jesus christ every time i think about kira and cecilias relationship i want to jump into the ocean never to be seen again. kira loved her sooooo so much but also she loved her before cecilia met siegfried. it had to be jarring to see her become suddenly so. happy. but she loved her in a very idealized way, i think? to me at least its very obvious it couldnt Ever have been mutual simply because kira never quite managed to get as close to cecilia as such a relationship would require... in the end, she was just. her fan. cecilia was her friend, yes, but she was also that shining star in the distance that marked kira's way, that drove her to become a valkyrie and an idol... which is another topic in on itself because. kira is prickly! kira isnt the type of person who finds it easy to be that perfect idol, thats all a conscious effort!! but i digress. kira loved cecilia in the way that she adored her, but then suddenly cecilia was gone and the snowwolves were gone and kira had to find her own way in the dark. which is also why i think it could be such a fun thing to explore her dynamic with miste[I AM SUDDENLY AND REPEATEDLY SHOT. MY CORPSE IS DRAGGED AWAY AND THROWN OFF A BRIDGE.]

24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?

OH UHM I DONT KNOW ACTUALLY. i find it that pretty often with hi3rd chars specifically, i have a lot of trouble finding characters that really "remind" me of them from other media simply because each and every one has a string of such strangely specific mental problems that even if at first glance two characters appear similar, i think about it for 3 seconds more and decide "never mind actually" so. im sorry but i actually cant think of anything 😭😭

[windupaidoneus]

🤪👯‍♀️👀?

hi greeeeen poses gaystyle how are u doing. does a backflip. falls on my ass

🤪: What is your trait that fanon would exaggerate? i think because of the nature of hildegarde being transmasc & people LOOOVING to infantilise transmascs people would latch onto his few sillier, more lighthearted moments & kind of turn him into a very nicey all the time sensitive emotional baby who can do no wrong. which like yeah he is emotional & sensitive but it actively causes him to do bad or at the very least morally questionable things so i don't think that's the angle we should be approaching this with guys... alternatively people who don't like him would probably like. write him as a class traitor of sorts. & i suppose he is! if you have no fucking idea how propaganda & indoctrination works. that isn't to say he's on friendly terms with nero, gaius & emet because of the propaganda & indoctrination, but he IS relatively unwilling to commit harm against garleans just bc they're garleans, yknow? & well that's a very. unpopular. kind of stance. you haven't gotten to that part of the game yet so i shan't elaborate too much but basically people are very eager to let people die horrible deaths or actively cause said deaths rather than allow them to grow & change. so hildegarde would likely be unpopular for wanting to help rather than leave them to die even if these are people who participated in his own lifelong abuse & issues (well. i don't think he knew any of them personally tbh which also gives him some emotional distance since they didn't hurt him Specifically. also random ass garlean peasants aren't really responsible for the hurt he went through going up the ranks)

👯: What canon character are you most similar to? oh! that's a fun one..... it kinda depends who hildegarde is around. if he's around nero the answer is 100% nero outwardly. (this is actually healthy for him in a sense since nero's inflated ego means hildegarde gets an inflated ego from being around him. self-love win!! bad news for everyone else, theyre insufferable) you have not met either of those characters yet but hildegarde sees a lot of himself in yotsuyu, & from a meta perspective he is similar to fordola as well. those are stormblood characters !! so you will see them soon!!!!! all three of them were tools of the empire at points in their lives at varying degrees of willingness, but hildegarde has an I'm Evil Person complex so he aligns himself with yotsuyu more since. well. yotsuyu is kind of evil yeah. (women can do anything they want) but especially um. well. let's just say yotsuyu is alive in his timeline bc i can't bear to have it otherwise i really can't & it'll become very clear why when you get to the Part & of course i can't not mention. well. emet. they're not TOO similar especially not on the outside but they are both consumed with grief to an extreme degree. also they both do love theatre im afraid

👀: How does your ship with your f/o influence both of your characterisations and the world? Would there be any interesting metas written about your dynamic? FUCKKKKK (clutches my head) WELLLL IF IM HONEST IT WOULDNT ACTUALLY CHANGE MUCH I DONT THINK. there would def be interesting metas written about their dynamic & im living proof of it im writing my own metas 😭 read my five billion paragraphs boy. i cant say FOR SURE how it would affect the world because the game isnt finished yet & i cant know for sure what will come of emet until the story is over but i like to like. keep things as close to canon as possible when i tinker with my timeline. emet coming back very intentionally does not change much at all about the story bc i want the story to keep its impact, & him being around & actually doing shit here & there would make things way boring bc he's so stupid powerful... plus i don't think he'd like. do much. unless hildegarde explicitly asked him. & hildegarde does not simply "ask for help". so really it all works out for the game mostly remaining close to what it is canonically. about emet's characterisation though. it would change a little i suppose. more stuff i don't knowww if i can elaborate on fully bc Well The Spoilers but it's less his canon characterisation changing & more me adding onto it at the end of what is already established? like... timeline wise. lol. there's the him the way he was originally, the him he was as a villain, & the him he is after everything is said & done. but to be honest that's just him changing & growing as a person (for better or worse) yknow. normal shit. as for hildegarde. Um. well i dont know i feel like since he's my s/i... he already has the characterisation i give him & i cant dissociate him from my beautiful mind timeline so it's hard to tell lmaoo. the actions he takes ingame (like with dialogue options) are all chosen with my timeline in mind so he probably wouldn't change much

[strfd]

drakonig, maybe? ;w;

send URL for opinion. always open.

MY OPINION ON ;

character in general : okay but dragon tho . need i go on ??

really though . honestly . i love smaug . he's such a bastard . i mean what ? like i get that he's supposed to be like this evil character or what have you . & i get it , he's the bad guy . but like i feel he really just got like the short end of the stick ? i think ? in terms of the movie that is . couldnt tell how it's like in the books but i feel like he got very little screen time . this is a character that is EXTREMELY complex . & he just got shafted . like straight up . this fucking beast took an entire mountain from a group of peoples only to like , what , get maybe 5 minutes of screen time ? LOL

then again . i think i am just overly biased cause i really love dragons anyway . i think they are an often misunderstood species . theyre extremely intelligent & dangerous as a species . so like , again , smaug just really got fucked overall . i do hope this doesnt make me TOO much of a dragon simp lol . then again . i dont give a fuck i have so much dragon memorabilia ( specifically toothless tbh ) & i have too many dragon based characters / ocs . HRNGH

anyway . yea . hahah . brrrr dragon . i love .

how they play them : dragon go brrrrrrrrrrr .

LOL okay jk but ... like i dunno much cause ive seen like maybe 1 or 2 things . but from what i have read ? i like it ? honestly i think i cant really give you a super formal or personal opinion yet . but i do have to say that you take your dragon lore very seriously ! which is always something i really take into consideration . maibly because i dont want people to half ass something that i fucking LOVE . you know ? not talking about smaug but just dragons in general .

for smaug tho ... Like damn . dont think i could have really asked for another . & thats genuinely just from the little peicees i have seen . then again . i think any dragon lover can recognise another dragon lover HRNGH . i honestly look really forward to seein more of your posts T^T & just getting to talk to you more . cause im just GENUINELY interested . cuase yea . dragons ... 🥺

The Mun : huehuehue dragon ....

but oh i think i went off a little above but ... Like ... aged chocolate tho . LOL 

idk . i think we personally hit it off REALLY well ? & so quickly ?? idk . like i vibed with your rules & , ngl , i think you're very straight forward & honest ??? then again ... this is coming from somebody who bites snowflakes OFTEN so ... i think i may have mentioned this before but like , i think youre valid if what you gotta do to let peeps know but as i have said to another friend , anybody who wants to start shit about it are gatekeeping little shits . entitled brats who are childish & dont deserve you . youre a good bean okay ? maybe thats just me . BUUUUUTTT ... guess that means youre asshole repellent as well so ... i love me some raid mmmmmmm . keeps the gross people away HRNGH .

you know what though . you actually are a dragon . LOL a very cute & lovely dragon ! are you a pocket dragon ? can i keep you on me 👉👈 i l - like dragons .... 😭

DO I ;

RP with them : no :c it makes me very sads :<

Want to RP with them : oh absolutely ! Not sure how we would go about doing so . mayhaps in a modern verse ? honestly . im also SO down to make a specialised verse for you as well . we would have to do a lot of plotting i think . OR at the very least , if you could allow me to write up a special verse mixing some of our crrent verses ? we could have a unique thing for ourselves . but thats entirely up to you . i dont mind making a new world . i have done so already since ive written a book series before xD so it wouldnt be hard for me . but hmu sometime ! Lets talk yea ~ ?

WHAT IS MY ;

Overall Opinion: hmmm ... something something ... dragons . 😊

**Note: Mun’s answer are all to be completely honest. Don’t send url if you don’t want brutal honesty

[uglypastels]

4-73

Here it goes 

4. What do you think about most?

You ;) lmao, no uhhhhh... food? 

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

from my bf: Hi bb 

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

with 

7: What’s your strangest talent?

that I have none 

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

Girls like spaghetti, Boys like spaghetti-os (WHY WAS THIS THE FIRST THING THAT CAME UP IN MY HEAD)

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

i have unfortunately, it’s like a tradition here that for secret Santa, you write a matching poem for the person you picked, so i’ve had a few poems written for me... all horrible. 

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

I prefer drums lol, today (In the Air Tonight by Phil Collins) 

11. Do you have any strange phobias? 

Needles for sure, but if we really are talking strange, than it’s not of heights, but dropping something from high up. Or falling. actually, not even from high up, even like a bridge, or a manhole. i’m so fucking scared of dropping anything anywhere and not being able to get it back. 

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

lmao i had this barbie bracelet that looked like a septum ring and i loved to pretend i had one. so technically up my nose, but almost.

13: What’s your religion?

Atheist <3 

14. If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? 

walking back home 

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

BEHIND

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

5SOS???

17. What’s the most recent lie you told? 

that i liked the result of my group project

18: Do you believe in karma?

yeah

19: What does your URL mean?

pastels that are ugly

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

weakness: anxiety, strength: creativity

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

Tom Holland

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

yup, it was kinda boring alone lol

23: How do you vent your anger?

unhealthily (is that even a word?) 

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

books, pins/badges, and i used to collect angel (figurines) when i was younger)

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

on the phone

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

No

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

hate: i answered this before and said children crying, but they don’t even have to be crying.  love: rain <3 

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

What if I didn’t fail my classes two years ago (cause that's when my life went to complete shit) 

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

Yes. Yes. (or at least, I’d like them to be real) 

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

right: tablet, left: pack of Arizona ice tea 

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

nothing??? 

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

uhhh... i can’t remember

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

neither

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

Harry Styles 

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

42

36: Define Art.

something that should have been fun in the process of making, but eventually just makes you want to gauge out your eyeballs and then cry :) 

37: Do you believe in luck?

sure?? 

38: What’s the weather like right now?

windy and it just stopped raining <3 

39: What time is it?

11:16pm

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

Nope, and because of the idea of crashing, i probably never will

41: What was the last book you read?

The Executioner, by Chris Carter

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

Absolutely not, trauma triggers <3

43: Do you have any nicknames?

Zuzia is already a nickname (well, diminutive, same thing) 

44: What was the last film you saw?

I watched a part of Dolittle???

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

I broke my wrist

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

no, never even tried

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

yeah

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

don’t know, don’t really care

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

during a student exchange with a polish school, everyone thought i was dating of the dudes from that school (ngl i did have a crush on him and we did hold hands on a trip to Amsterdam AND he let me borrow his raincoat when we arrived back at school and i still had to cycle home while he was going back with car but FAKE NEWS) 

50: Do you believe in magic?

same with ghosts and aliens, i hope it’s real

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

nah

52: What is your astrological sign?

Sagittarius

53: Do you save money or spend it?

save

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

a few bday presents for my mom :) 

55: Love or lust?

love

56: In a relationship?

YUP <3 

57: how many relationships have you had? 

2 (and that half one with a polish guy since it was rumoured but still cute lol)

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

nope

59: Where were you yesterday?

in bed

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

yes. boxes

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

sure am

62: What’s your favourite animal?

zebra??

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

humor?? idk people dont like me 

64: Where is your best friend?

at home

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

@spiderrrling @captainpeggy40 @duskholland @justasmisunderstoodasloki @appreci 

66: What is your heritage?

Polish (and Dutch?? eh kinda?) 

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

texting my boyfriend uwu

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

Johnson

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

yeah

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

sure

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

cry and try to get him out of the canal, fall in myself by doing so probably

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a) i would tell my family and closest friends b&c) no idea 

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

trust

happy now? 

[spiderrrling]

Alright then, you asked for it. For the personal asks 4-73 😌

aight but you gotta read them all 

4: What do you think about most?

sadly, school

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

fab texted me “you should never trust teenagers” 

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

i sleep in a t-shirt and underwear 

7: What’s your strangest talent?

my hyperflexible joints

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

girls are amazing, boys are amazing sometimes

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

no and i hope it will never happen

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

air drums is my preferred method of air instruments and just earlier today

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

needles, cant do them at all i will physically hurt you if you try

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

i mean i did a covid test does that count? i shoved a perler bead up my nose when i was 4 

13: What’s your religion?

i am atheist 

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

walking or maybe camping i love me a good camping trip

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

behindddd i am very awkward in photos

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

at the moment, all time low

17: What was the last lie you told?

i told my mom i studied for this test that i havent studied for 

18: Do you believe in karma?

fairly yeah

19: What does your URL mean?

this one is nothing special, just the spiderrrling 

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

i actually dont know, ive been told im very emotionally strong due to what would probably be my greatest weakness, my chronic pain

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

idk if you could guess but its tom holland

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

no not really

23: How do you vent your anger?

i write or i text friends or i rant here on tumblrdotcom

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

books, i have a lot of books

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

depends on the person im talking with

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

yeah mostly

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

hospital beeping sounds, cant stand them. i love the sound of rain

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

i didnt quit gymnastics

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

i mean technically we are aliens, there is no way we are alone in the universe 

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

my right, my wall

my left, nothing

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

smells like rain bc my window is open and it just rained

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

idk maybe a place in denmark?

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

never been to the us

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

alex garskath

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

42

36: Define Art.

art is anything if  you ask me 

37: Do you believe in luck?

sometimes

38: What’s the weather like right now?

it just rained but its gonna rain more

39: What time is it?

10.27 pm

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

no i dont drive

41: What was the last book you read?

i just finished volume 3 of heartstopper and currently reading northern lights 

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

honestly yeah

43: Do you have any nicknames?

i do! for those who dont know im fox, ive gone by fox for many years and i respond to it like its my name

44: What was the last film you saw?

i rewatched howls moving caslte

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

my knee is really bad from gymnastics

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

yes!

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

yes multiple, UCLA gymnastics, generally gymnastics, plague doctors, books, percy jackson

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

i am a raging bisexal

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

id like to not get into this just bc it happened very recently

50: Do you believe in magic?

yeah 

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

depends on what they did

52: What is your astrological sign?

i am a scorpio

53: Do you save money or spend it?

i save money but i also spend it

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

i bought 58 books on a discount book store

55: Love or lust?

love

56: In a relationship?

sadly i am very single

57: How many relationships have you had?

one

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

no

59: Where were you yesterday?

at school then at home studying

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

probably but my room is dark rn

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

not wearing socks rn but i only own black socks anyway

62: What’s your favourite animal?

foxes or penguins or polar bears, i like most animals to be honest

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

just be nice and be able to deal with my ranting 

64: Where is your best friend?

way too far from me in norway

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

@uglypastels @hey-its-grey @wvllywest @hauntedtom @anxieteandbiscuits

66: What is your heritage?

norwegain/swedish

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

sleeping, i need my sleep

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

i think thats his first name

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

who hasnt

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

i mean i bake, cook and give great hugs

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

i have too much anxiety to be late

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a. i tell those i care about 

b. live my life to the fullest

c. i already have what? 4 chronic conditions?

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

trust is its own kind of love in my opinion

there u happy now z? now its your turn

[bladekindeyewear]

Bloggin’ bout HS^2′s second upd8 continued.  > (==>)

And it had felt so real, almost like he could have reached out and touched him--

--Yeah, the next page is gonna be BGDirk just standing there like I saw before I read the update, right?

> (==>)

> (==>)

Two pages. Close enough.

> (==>)

Hah!  Get fucked, Dirk.  (Even if you’re supposedly one of the better Dirks.)

> (==>)

Yep, all see-thru and everything.

DIRK: You passed out in a puddle of your own drool. And what the fuck is that on your face? JAKE: My face? What do you mean on my face? DIRK: The moustache, Jake. Who’s idea was that. JAKE: Oh! You dont like it? DIRK: I didn’t say that.

Oh come the fuck on.  He looks good in a mustache, Jane-influence or no Jane-influence.

DIRK: We’ve had this conversation before, dingus. I’m you. And I’m me. But I only exist because of your powers. The fact that I’m manifesting here, in the new universe, outside of a dream, is evidence in itself for just how absolutely boned you are.

Now what exactly do you mean by that last part?  How is this a sign of trouble?

--Is it because this Dirk thinks he’s needed?  And therefore shit will be going down?

DIRK: You’ve been a useless sack of shit for two decades. I’m here to kick your ass back into active duty.

...Hm.

I mean, Jake MIGHT be able to help stop this stupid goddamn war, but this IS Dirk trying to help him, so...

JAKE: And what side am i supposed to be fighting on? for jane or against her? DIRK: Against her. Obviously. What the fuck, dude.

Pffff.

JAKE: But you were the one who wanted her to run in the first place! You wrote her bloody speeches! DIRK: Yeah, I did. And every single one of them kicked ass. I wanted Jane to be the democratically elected president. Not a cake-slinging Jeff Bezos with a great rack.

Pfff.  I mean, you didn’t do a great job the first way, either.  It’s heavily implied things in Canon-land were about to go to shit too.

Not as FAR to shit, nor as quickly, but still to shit.  So, really, how DIFFERENT is this from the way you wanted it done, Dirk?  How can you claim this isn’t half YOUR fuck-up too?

DIRK: Don’t worry about it. The point is, you have a chance to make a difference. You’re in the perfect position to infiltrate her operation.

Oh hell no.  Don’t send him back in THERE you utter horse’s ass!  How could THAT be good for his mental health!? What the fuck about Tavros?!?

DIRK: That’s horseshit and we both know it. Jane would take you back in a second. She loves you.

I think Jane’s definition of “taking him back” would be a bit broader than his body or soul could fucking afford.

> (==>)

Eugh.  You really liked the Condesce’s way of doing things right down to her style, huh?  To think you used to love the spoon.  Is that a fucking spork?  Is that zilly Battlespork your go-to weapon now?

Also, it took me a moment to realize those green and orange silhouettes were Jake and BGDirk.  I was a little like “how did Rose get here?!?”.

> (==>)

Have I mentioned how good all this art is?  So much attention being paid to the use of color, to making everything look so soft and streamlined?

Looks like she’s going in for at LEAST a hug.  And the art style might be mercifully light on showing us indulgent details of just how asset-laden Jane is supposed to be.  Shots of Jake’s manly bod aside, something in me doesn’t like the traditionally-sexualized stuff pushed like that in a canon that’s been light on it for so long...

> (==>)

Oh, that... THAT looks fake.  Or like, she’s about to turn around and happily wail on his ass or something.

JANE: Boo hoo hoo! Oh, Jake! Something awful has happened! JAKE: It--it has? You mean more awful than usual? JANE: The opposition has taken Tavros, Jake. They’ve finally shown their true colors. I knew it was only a matter of time before they attacked our family directly!

.....Ah.  Well, that explains it.  She’d never cry like that about HIM returning AFTER STEPPING OUT ON HER.

It’s then that Jake realizes that Jane isn’t mad because she’d never realized he was gone.

Poor pages, huh?  All their most dramatic gestures always undercut.

...It seems like we might see Candy kind of resolved in less of a fucked-up worldstate after all, at this rate?

She seems to have forgotten that she’d been cross with him the last time they met, because now that Gamzee is gone, there’s no one left to talk to.

It’s true. Gamzee’s absence always improves things.

> (==>)

All of it is made worse by the occasional wry glint in her eye, or moment of self-deprecation in the slant of her mouth. It reminds him of the Jane he used to know. Or the Jane he thought he used to know.

Ambition is a hell of a thing.  Seems like she’s drunk of it almost as deeply as Prince Dirk.  I’d imagine this could be a pretty consistent thing with really active Life players when they get actual power, huh?  The way it just gathers to Life players in all its forms -- power over others, status, wealth -- it’s easy to start to leverage it in ways that constitute abuse of power over others from a Riddle perspective.

At first Dirk stands at Jake’s elbow, a one-ghost support staff, before he appears to lose interest in Jane’s rant and wanders off across the office, reading the spines of books and spending way too long staring at a startlingly phallic piece of installation art,

--PLEASE let us see it.

, the provenance of which Jake doesn’t know, but could hazard a guess it wore a codpiece.

Nope, never mind. Interest lost.

> (==>)

Then he settles on Jane’s desk, propping his ghost butt there and sort of just...well. Here’s a picture of what he does.

Um.

Where is this going?

> (==>)

Oh, so the BEST option, then.  :D

Okay. That’s a bit of an exaggeration.

Boooooo.

> (==>)

--Alright, forgiven.

he’s thoroughly exhausted from attempting to pay attention to his supervillain wife while trying not to look at the crotch of a ghost man from his brain.

...Okay, hold up.  BGDirk, are you trying to steer him into doing this for self-indulgent, non-comedic purposes? Or is this a bit of Prince Dirk in there?  (I mean... I can’t definitively say Jake wouldn’t have wanted this.)

And I’m still wondering how all of this is going to be relevant.  IF it’s going to be relevant.  Despite promises to the contrary that are seemingly being ignored.

> (==>)

DIRK: All according to keikaku.

Fuck you.

JAKE: i really didnt think id fall off the wagon so quickly. I dont think being here is good for my emotions to be honest. DIRK: Yeah, probably not. But that’s okay. They don’t matter. JAKE: Oh.

Yeah, Dirk, you suck at this more than you know.  This ain’t going to go as well as you “hope” I don’t think.

DIRK: Don’t know anything about stiff lips, dude. But that’s not what I mean. It’s not because you’re a man. You’re a god. JAKE: Oh right. That. DIRK: The world comes first, even at the expense of all your relationships and personal happiness. That’s what being a hero means. JAKE: I guess...i never really thought about it like that.

You’re also not guaranteed to be fucking right, you know.

There are definitely dichotomies where what was best for the world wasn’t best for the person, so far, and vice versa in Homestuck.  But Dirk’s taking his anime-flavored principles as gospel as usual, and ignoring, oh I dunno, the impact of the heart in all of this.  Some people, ESPECIALLY JAKE and other Pages so far, CAN’T operate at their best until they’re at least reasonably healthy and sure of themselves, and investments to that effect are essential to letting them slowly realize their full potential.  Brain Ghost Dirk is likely making the same goddamn mistake he made with his overbearing Dirkbot back on Jake’s island.

> (==>)

DIRK: Think what you want about Jane, but at least she realizes that none of you can ever be normal, and she never bothered to try. Can it really be a god-complex if you’re actually a god? DIRK: People like us don’t get happy endings.

...Yup.  This is the fucked-over part of Dirk’s worldview coming in full play, here.  And he believes in it so strongly that he couldn’t even fucking leave NON-CANON alone anymore.  Fuck.

JAKE: Thats bleak dirk i dont think i could possibly believe that!

Mmmhmm.

DIRK: Yeah. That’s probably more a Dirk thought than a Jake one. I told you, it’s hard to tell sometimes. JAKE: Is...is that really how dirk felt the whole gosh darned time?

Mmmhmm.

> (==>)

Last page of the upd8.  Well... all I can say is, it’s a good thing he’s a fucking ghost here.  And half Jake, at that.  At least that can limit the damage.  Hopefully giving Jake just enough of a kick in the doing-something direction without being so overbearing that he makes things worse, making for a balance of...

...Wait.

Wait, is that why we’re here?

Maybe that finally makes some sense of all this.  Of this cut, of this small violation of that last sentence in Meat, of--  ah, yeah, I might be on to something here!  Only maybe, but still--!

We’re quite possibly bearing witness to a realm of influence where, through measures outside of his control, Dirk has a balanced impact.  Where this same ideology of his, tempered by Jake’s hopeful mindset and Dirk’s inability to take direct action, might just manage to make things better and actually make everyone happier by the end, while solving Earth C’s fucked-up Candyland state at the same time.  It’s possibly to show the readers (through the lens of a Hope player specializing in positive possibility) that Dirk, had he been restrained, COULD have had a positive impact, even at the same time that we’re shown Prince Dirk at his soul’s most overblown and heinous.

And, if we want to be optimistic..... perhaps this’ll show Dirk, too?

Canon and Non-Canon may not “meet” again.  But that doesn’t stop Dirk, via this fragment of his multiverse-spanning soul, from seeing Non-Canon.  From seeing how well things COULD have worked out, had he held back.  And if we keep cutting like this -- back and forth between the “real” story and these events in Candyverse -- perhaps the moment at which Brain Ghost Dirk realizes what he’s accomplished, realizes how much better things are because he could hold back, will coincide at the end with Prince Dirk finally, belatedly, realizing just how fucked his plan was, and understanding at the very, very end why he has to fucking die?

THAT would be interesting.

I guess we’ll see?  Talk to y’all next upd8.

[a-ffection]

1-99 🐸

BET YOU THOUGHT I WOULDNT DO IT SCRUB. I tagged this #long post if yall dont want to see it btw sorry

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

According to Spotify Me its 1. Hail to the King - Avenged Sevenfold 2. The Beautiful People - Marilyn Manson 3. Holy Diver - Killswitch Engage 4. Sick Like Me - In This Moment 5. Girls in Black - Airbourne 6. Shrike - Hozier 

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

MY SOULMATE DAMMIT

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

ugh ”Now the bad news, im afraid, is that we won't be home for supper.”

4: What do you think about most?

Money

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

“Maybe not” - from you

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

Without8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

Girls are cute; Boys are cute but at what cost?

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

Yup

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

Idk last week11: Do you have any strange phobias?

Public bathrooms and men with neck or face tattoos

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

When i was younger i used to stick straws up my nose

13: What’s your religion?

Roman Catholic

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

Walking the thot

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

Behind, I don't trust most ppl to take pics of me

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

Uhhh Avenged Sevenfold probably

17: What was the last lie you told?

idr

18: Do you believe in karma?

Yup

19: What does your URL mean?

It’s pretty self-explanatory 

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

Procrastination; Loyalty 

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

Currently Henry Cavill 

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

Its on my to-do list

23: How do you vent your anger?

Chores lol

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

Mushroom decor, books

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

TEXT

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

Happier yes

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

Crowds; Nature

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

”what if i tried harder and passed this class the first time around?”

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

YES x2

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

Cell phone; cookie

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

Nothing really

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

LA

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

West Coast

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

Hozier

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

To impact the world and/or its inhabitants in a positive way. 

36: Define Art.

Art makes you feel some typaway

37: Do you believe in luck?

Yes, only because i have horrible luck

38: What’s the weather like right now?

drizzling

39: What time is it?

6:23pm

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

yes and yes

41: What was the last book you read?

Sea of Strangers by Lang Leav

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

Yes

43: Do you have any nicknames?

Jaz, Jazzy, princess, noob (curtesy of my bro) 

44: What was the last film you saw?

Ready or Not

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

Hairline fracture. Urban Air. Rock wall. Jumped off. Ouch.48: What’s your sexual orientation?

I like boys

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

lmao YES

50: Do you believe in magic?

I believe in portals to other dimensions does that count?

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

Yup

52: What is your astrological sign?

Leo

53: Do you save money or spend it?

Both

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

Starbucks

55: Love or lust?

Both

56: In a relationship?

No

57: How many relationships have you had?

idk

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

No

59: Where were you yesterday?

Why do you want to know frog boy?

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

Dogs collar

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

No

62: What’s your favourite animal?

Owls

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

Be really nice and smiley to them but like in a low cut blouse66: What is your heritage?

Native North American. Mexican, Spaniard 

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

Sleeping

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

Morningstar

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

I-

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

Yess

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

Save the dog, my boss is a cunt anyway.

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

Uhg a) Yes b) Things ive always wanted to do c) Probably 

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

Love, since it comes with trust anyway

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

Hail to the King

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

6744

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

Communication, trust, honesty, time, consideration, maturity, sexual attraction

77: How can I win your heart?

Have these traits: Beard, muscles, weeb, a sweetheart, sense of humor, be Catholic, have a decent career path, give me all the attention

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

yes

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

uhh

80: What size shoes do you wear?

9 in heels; 9.5 in shoes

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

Something that will make goth kids take pictures on my grave

82: What is your favourite word?

Bastard

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

The Sacred Heart cause im catholic and hispanic

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

Bad words and insults

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

Old Time Religion - Parker Millsap

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

Teal, Green, Red, Black, and Pink

87: What is your current desktop picture?

A pretty forest

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

Id save it for a rainy day

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

”Have you ever watched hentai?”

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

Put collars on them and teach them tricks

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

Healing - people, the land, etc.

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

dunno

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

Ive already did that according to the therapist i had

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

Im saving myself for marriage 

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

Ireland

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

Yes

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

Yes, when i was a kid

98: Ever been on a plane?

Yes, to Cali

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

Your governments will always consider your freedom a burden

[comicteaparty]

December 18th-December 24th, 2019 Reader Favorites Archive

The archive for the Reader Favorites chat that occurred from December 18th, 2019 to December 24th, 2019.  The chat focused on the following question:

What tropes and/or clichés are you perfectly fine with seeing in the webcomics you read?

Deo101

Like all of the cutesy cheesy relationship tropes. I love them all and I always will! Plenty more, but I find myself getting caught up in the relationship tropes the most. Specifically friends to lovers, but I also really like the found family trope. I know there are more tropes that I love but I can't think of them off the top of my head, so I'll probably just agree with others as the week goes on

indogswetrust

pass me the slow burn romance please thaaaanks

Deo101

that one too. Also hurt/comfort. Pump those into my VEINS they are my lifeblood... I shamelessly put every trope I want into my work so I can't judge other people for doing the same

indogswetrust

i’m trash

I’ve become more sssssophisticated as I’ve gotten older but I know what I like in a webcomic.

And it’s Adorable Behavior (tm)

Deo101

I've gotten less sophosticated. I thought I got more sophisticated but turns out I just got less shameful about the things i like

indogswetrust

Haha

I mean I used to really be fixated on comedy and now I’m more okay with things being ambiguous and complex? Ingress is a good example. I might have put it down two years ago but now I wanna see where Spicer and Toivo’s journey takes them

Fixated isn’t the exact word. whatever

Deo101

No I get you! Realizing you like more than just one thing and expanding your horizons is really important!

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I love the enemies-to-lovers trope. Any time a pair of characters goes from ‘I hate your guts’ to ‘take me now’ I’m loving it. That is, so long as one of them wasn’t being outright abusive during their ‘hate’ phase.

indogswetrust

Man that’s a delicate balance but also

Deo101

^ Fully agree. I just get a little too anxious about the "enemies" side of thing and worry they wont fully grow into lovers I guess! But if it's done well, Its an especially good one

carcarchu

i second the enemies-to-lovers thing i will never get enough of that trope

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

thirded

if I even smell a hint of it in a story, provided it's not overtly violent or abusive or otherwise horrible... I am hooked

kayotics

Fourthed... it’s a good trope

keii4ii

Now I feel like the odd one out for being neutral toward that trope. I definitely enjoy good examples of it, but otherwise completely neutral?

Evolving relationships is a good thing in general though, and enemies to lovers does fall in that category.

keii4ii

I have a soft spot for long lost superadvanced civilizations being unearthed. While it doesn't guarantee I'll fall in love with the story, it WILL grab my attention and at least get me to check it out.

renieplayerone

I dont really have any strong opinions on any tropes, but theres a really good channel on youtube that goes through and critiques tropes. I find it really useful for writing. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLDb22nlVXGgcljcdyDk80bBDXGyeZjZ5e

keii4ii

(Please don't let my weirdness ruin anyone's enjoyment of the trope though, lol. I'm all for celebrating what you like! was just genuinely wondering if I'm the only one who's neutral about it!)

keii4ii

Also not an overarching story trope, but more like a type of a scene... I really like this thing (if this is a trope please tell me what it's called XD) A, B, C are friends. A and B are bffs. C is not as close. B talks to C about this while A is away. This is an honest conversation, not a malicious one. B learns to see A in a way they hadn't before, and it strengthens the B-A friendship. I'm not likely to start reading a story just because I know it contains this scene. But if a story I already like has this scene, it is likely to be my favorite scene!(edited)

I guess part of the reason why I like it so much is, it shows that the relationship (the B-A one in this case) is not insular. It's a real relationship between real people, who also have relationships outside of it, and the relationships have an influence on each other.

(And that's a lot of "relationship"s in a paragraph...)

eli [a winged tale]

Positive relationships and healthy navigations between relationship and life problems are my jam The enemies to lovers trope can be gripping because you get an additional conflict on top of tension. I thought the novel Red White & Royal Blue did a good job at that. Grant Snyder did a trope bingo for murakami and I thought it was fun to do the same for my works in progress. For reference: the murakami one https://www.google.com/amp/s/news.avclub.com/here-s-how-to-play-haruki-murakami-bingo-as-you-read-hi-1798271345/amp

keii4ii

omg

I NEED TO MAKE THIS for me/ comics I read

I mean I don't have a whole lot of stories, but it would be interesting to see what kind of common items get checked off across mine + my favorite comics combined

Capitania do Azar

wow I've been thinking about it a lot and I'm having a very hard time selecting the tropes I like best... I'm more of a "I know what I don't like and taking that aside I like being surprised"

Cronaj

All I can say is... Red Oni, Blue Oni (https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RedOniBlueOni). This trope is seriously so good. My favorite thing about this trope is that the "Red Oni," or the hot-headed one, and the "Blue Oni," the cold or level-headed one, can be either friends or enemies. So it makes for a beautiful dynamic no matter what type of story it is. Buddy cops, competitors in the workplace, brothers, enemies, the straight man and the fool, you name it. Typically these characters are foils of each other, and their differencesbalways make for exceedingly fun interactions. Another favorite trope of mine, which I don't really know the name of, is where the seemingly hot/handsome guy is actually a dork who has no idea what he's doing. Everyone in the story thinks he's done everything, but really he's just a dopey, niave possibly shy and definitely clumsy virgin. But the social awkwardness only makes him inexplicably more appealing to the other lead. Cute

Ah! Another trope I have to add because it's basically my crack: Androids Are People, Too (https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AndroidsArePeopleToo). I have loved this trope since before Detroit: Become Human, but the game certainly rekindled my love for it. Very genre-specific, but AI fascinate me to no end, whether it's in the real world, or in Sci-Fi.

eli [a winged tale]

Haha Cronaj are you me? Contrasting characters and robots who have feelings can get me hooked straight away

indogswetrust

lemme tell y’all about a trope I’ve noticed: the crazy lesbian. Like, The Favorite and Killing Eve and that Netflix movie about the violinists. Whoof. I am so tired of that

Cronaj

Hahahaha! I dunno maybe. I also have a protagonist in one of my novels named Eli.

eli [a winged tale]

The cute nerd who is fumbling but appeared to have it all together may lean towards the Mary Sue for me but if there is a true flaw (Tm) then I’m down

indogswetrust

I feel like gay men characters have been getting humanized and happy endings and that’s awesome! But lesbians have not been getting the same treatment.

bumbling and romantically inept nerds fuel me

eli [a winged tale]

What do you mean about the lesbian part, indogswetrust? I’m curious to know of the differences as I’m currently writing both

Cronaj

@eli [a winged tale] YES. I'm not gonna lie, I have definitely used more than one of these tropes XD And one of them may or may not be the fumbling hottie...

eli [a winged tale]

I wanted to link my trope bingo but thought it went against the pinned rules I can DM it to you if you’re interested and I’d love to play everyone else’s bingos

Cronaj

Oh hell yes. Lesgooooooo!

I have never made a trope bingo, but I really should

indogswetrust

Like, Love, Simon or Call Me By Your Name show gay men as people slowly falling in love and it’s tender and kind. But The Favorite literally has animal abuse in it and women sleeping with each other for power. I walked out of the theater. Same for Killing Eve, it’s about a spy and a murderer. High intrigue and drama but it’s obviously a toxic relationship from the premise

eli [a winged tale]

Oh no! You should check out Their Story by Tan Jiu)

It’s formatted like a webcomic as well though formally called manhua. It does the slow burn romance, humanizing aspect very well. I’m not well versed in the mainstream portrayal but certainly on the indie side, people are stepping up and writing very positive and healthy lesbian stories

indogswetrust

The indie side is great. Even “The Sea In You” (a webcomic) is frickin adorable

It just grinds my beans about mainstream portrayal

eli [a winged tale]

Loving the sea in you!

RebelVampire

A trope I will never get sick of is https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EverythingsBetterWithPrincesses , especially if https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ReallyRoyaltyReveal this is what happens in the story. I just...I really love royalty. I can't help it. I love the pointless traditions, the fancy dresses, the palaces, etc.. And even if that's not part of it, I still like it when some rando girl realizes that she's a princess and now has to deal with that idea that she has subjects she has to protect or something. Bonus points if she's a magical girl. I even like it when it's a reverse situation where it's an evil princess. I will never tire of princesses ever because the concept is always fascinating to me no matter which way its spun.

eli [a winged tale]

I love the fanciness of it all. All those lovely eye candy designs

Cronaj

Same... I have also used the Really Royalty Reveal, like..... Several times

eli [a winged tale]

The royal reveal when done well can be so powerful and validating

Kelsey (Kurio)

I have a queen ant character but no princesses yet

Eightfish

ooh are we talking about tropes we like? I really like mind reading/ mind control. But consensual. It's feels like the theme of trust taken to the extreme, where a character has such belief in someone they'd trust their mind / body to them. But I've only really seen it in some kid's books I liked (Young Wizards, Animorphs), and the only webcomic I've seen with this idea is my own, and I haven't even gotten to that part yet. Anyone have any recommendations? Ooh or a tvtropes link?

Erin Ptah (BICP 🎄 Leif & Thorn)

It comes up in the Murderbot Diaries -- the main character is a construct, basically a really-advanced android, and there are times when it lets a more-powerful AI pilot its body to handle an emergency that's unfolding too fast for it to keep up with on its own.

Eightfish

I looked it up and I do like the themes of androids' humanity. And it's a series of novellae, which, wow, that's very rare. Not sure I've ever seen that before. Do you recommend the book as a whole?(edited)

Erin Ptah (BICP 🎄 Leif & Thorn)

I recommend the whole series, yes!

[veratnetherstriker]

A little appreciation and criticism about the Scps

Im a huge fan of the SCP fundation and all the people who made them, i just love the way they are writen and the originalaty behind such ideas, but lets be honest, no one is perfect. Soo, im just going to do a little recopilation of a few of the most popular Scps of all time and the reasons why i like them and how i think they could (if they should) improve. This will be just my personal opinion, and in any way it should be taken as the one true of the universe(like i said, no one is perfect). Plus, my main lenguage isnt the english but i know that this way this will reach to more people, soo sorry for all the gramatical errors from the starts. 

That said, lets dive in this terrorific, yet beatifull, world: 

Who else should start this list right? Good old ‘’fetus statue’’ (name copyrighted by my ex) is a classic at this time, the one that started all, the first the most of us saw for the first time, and the one that make the bases for what was to come. And is a pretry good start. 173, a creepy af statue that dost move until nobody is watching him, but when he do, someones dies. An idea soo good that im really surprise nobody in hollywood ripped off yet. An amazing example of creativity and creepynes alike, the only fault i could find him is the way right now he is everywhere and, kind of slendy in the past, that ruin part of the charm of a creepy internet story. But that is not his fault, and more something that is destined to happen with all popular monsters. We love you fucking 173, never change you fucking weirdo.

9/10

106, AKA radical larry for the pals. Tell my if this asshole never give you chills in any of the games?? His capacity of rust everything (even your body)  and his inhuman, sadistic motives of ‘’prey humans for fun’’ make him the closest SCP has ever get to a hollywood horror movie creation, but even for that standar he is particullary creepy and original, both in how to kill you (the first time in the pocket dimension in CB is a wonderfull yet terrible experience) and why to kill you. Because he is an asshole, that is why he is going to kill you. Good luck asuming that. 

8/10

The people who are just entering the world of SCP should be very cofunsed right now. ‘’A stair? why is a stair an scp?’’. But the people who know this thing, and the things that live in him (her? it?) know why im talking about it (him? her?). The idea of a never ending stair that just get creeepier with every step you make, amazing. And the creatures that lurk in it dont help. That said, i do find him a little limited in the ways this story could scare you. With 106 we have a full fan of posibilities to scare , and with 173 a constant tension, here you have to start decending into the stair(it then) and that do seem a little forced.  

7/10

Aaaaaah 049... you are a miracle that could only happen in the SCP community. Our good doctor could soo easily become a basic self insertion gary stu, both for being humanoid(we all know is a common problem with this tipe of character) and for the edgy  medieval style of clothes, but nope, he is just a weird, disturbing, cool character with original ideas behind like every good scp should be. His only problems (besides every fangirl trying to bang him or taking him as a jeff the killer wannabe) is maybe his unnoriginal result (zombie people are kind of overused nowdays) but still his fight against ‘’the disase’’ together with his misterius and cool aparence make a good example of how to make a good humanoid scp.

7/10

...and for the exact contrary we have this idiot. Cool blades made of darkness, demonic tatoos, an unstopable capacity for killing even when he has no reason to have that inhuman strengh, forced religious context just for the sake of cool. My god, i know this may offend some fans but this guy is bad guys. I mean, really bad. He has no build up, no fear or paranormal factor beside the ‘’im soo cool they have to make me an scp’’ and the blades things (wich falls in the ‘’cool’’ stuff too). And yet he is one of the ‘’fanarted’’ (copyrighted by my this time) Scps ever. Why? Well for the same reason jeff the killer ended with most popularaty than slenderman even when Slendy is far better as a character and story. Because he is hot, easily identificable as an self insert fantasy for the edgy boys back in the 2000s, has a looooot of ‘’cool’’ stuff that atract fanboys(and girls) and soo darn cool isnt he?

Put him in line with the others until now and the ones to come and tell me if you dont give everyone else a cool yet creepy horror music, and then give this asshole a linkin park theme. He is that bad. (I love LP btw but you understand)

Im not saying that humanoid SCPs are bad per se(see 049 above), but Able is the perfect example of how you NOT make one. You dont give him like 5 superpowers together at once. You dont make him look like a generic antihero from a shonnen. You dont make him have ‘’cool’’ stuff just for the sake of him being cool. The only reasons why he is here is for : A- serve as a  good example of how to NOT make humanoids scps, B-  comparing to good humanods scps despise his fame, and C- give some credit to the person that change him. Yes, he used to be worse, and someone(not sure if was the original author) rewrite him to be more a ‘’xmen that got mad’’ and less a ‘’Generic Sasuke Uchiha who is soo cool they had to cointan him.’’ D- I have to show at least 1 bad Scp. 

3/10 (and just for the rewrite)

We pass from a character boring as a machine to a litteral machine far more interesting. 079 is the perfect scp objetivly speaking for me. He have all the things wich make scp fundation works. He is disturbing, yet sad. He is a monster, yet has some form of humanity that make us feel sorry for him, yet fear him notheless. We want him to get free but we fear what he could do being free. We know he isnt human yet we identify with him somehow(good identification, not Able tipy identification). Complex, well writen and good background, 079 could not be one of the most popular, yet he is perfect as an scp. The idea is disturbing and its done wonderfully. Also, he is the closest we get to a villain in CB, and is extraordinary good at that. This CPU, is an awesome SCP.

10/10

But not every SCP has to be disturbing in all his existence, there can be scps that are not scary in theory but still interesting a good writing. Our little reptile lover loli killing machine here its a good example of it. Much like 079, he is a good example of an scp that we want to get free, and we are sorry for her, but we know that is better this way (to an extreme). 053, the little girl, a young child who can (and will) kill you without even notice, but dont do it of evil, sadism, need or as a medium for an end, just because that is her nature and she cant do anything about it. You know is bad when a monster like 682 feel sorry for her. Maybe his only faults are the desing , wich is kind of generic, but its ok to have a normal human once in a while for me. Very good scp.

8/10

And speaking of the devil, to end the list we have the hard to destroy reptile himself, 682. I always love villains like nuraryhion from Gantz, beings that could adapt to anything and eevolve in an instant to adapt to the situation, soo 682 inmediatly become one (if not the one) of my favorites. His abilitys and the danger he represents are just amazing and well writien and is one of the most developed SCPS thanks to all the trys to kill him. His interactions with 079 and 053 are one of the best, and his fights with 173 and 096(kind of forget of him for this list, maybe in an hipotetical next?) are very interestings, not to mention all the reactions to others scps. His rol in CB also give him points, being the one that cause most of the destruction in the fundation and the principal reason why the nuclear warhead are lauched. I would watch the hell out of a series with him as a villain, thank you very much. 

9/10

Scps are wonderfull when done well, and i think that i show a lot good examples of this. It isnt my idea to hurt anyone feelings, just express myself in a little critisism and appreciation, and i really hope this help someone who write or is considering to write one. And like its obvius, this is just my personal opinion. This monsters are more than just generics creepypastas, they are something else completly and should be trated like that. I strongly recomend the series ‘’Sedition’’ made by tasstops or the ‘’Confinement’’ animated series made by Lord Bung if you want to see more of them and see for yourself what i meant, both awesome works make by awesome artists. 

Hope you all enjoyed, and wait for your criticism about my criticism

[the-desolated-quill]

Luther 5x01 - Luther blog

(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. If you haven’t seen this episode yet, you may want to before reading this review)

Can you remember the last time I’ve written about this show? 24th December 2015. Feeling old yet? Back then I was lucky if my reviews got two notes. Now I can get as many as thirty. Goodness me, I’ve gone up in the world XD

If you would like to read my reviews of the previous episodes... well... I’d rather you didn’t if I’m honest because they’re not very good. I was still finding my feet as an amateur critic/blogger/moaning old fart at the time and only had a vague idea of what I was talking about. I can give you a quick summary of my views on the show. I love it for the most part. In recent years it’s become almost trendy to take the piss out of it due to its over the top villains and gratuitous violence, but that’s always been part of its charm for me. But above all, what puts Luther head and shoulders above most other crime shows for me is the title character. Writer Neil Cross has created one of the most compelling and morally complex characters I’ve ever seen and Idris Elba brings him to life expertly. As horrific and ludicrous as the crimes and plots usually are, it’s DCI John Luther that keeps me coming back for more.

Luther has always been more of a horror show than a crime drama and the first episode of Series 5 is no different. A masked killer with LED lights on his hood to confuse CCTV cameras, (which makes him look a lot like that ghost astronaut from Scooby Doo), is roaming around London, sneaking up on unsuspecting strangers and hammering nails into their bodies because that’s the only way he can achieve an orgasm. Oh yeah, and he also has a jar of eyeballs in his sex dungeon because of course he does. The villains in this show can be many things, but subtle isn’t usually one of them. At one point newcomer DS Haliday asks Luther if this kind of depravity is normal for him, which made me laugh. Any Luther fan could tell you that this is just an average Tuesday for him.

No other show can get away with this kind of grotesqueness, but in Luther it just works. It revels in how insane and weird it is. It’s not a question of whether or not it’s believable (because let’s face it, it bloody isn’t). It’s a question of whether or not it’s scary and it absolutely is. Jamie Payne’s direction really helps to up the creep factor and the concept itself is just inherently icky. By far the most terrifying scene was the killer creeping up on that woman on the top deck of the the night bus, almost panther-like. What made it scarier for me is that the scene was actually filmed near the Olympic Park in Stratford, which is close to where I live. Seeing a psycho wandering around areas you’re familiar with is disconcerting to say the least.

The episode also does a good job of piquing the audience’s interest and building intrigue. Hermione Norris is captivating to watch in her role as Dr. Vivien Lake, who claims to know who the killer is, but there’s clearly more to her than we think. Luther notices straight away this isn’t a normal patient/doctor relationship and we the viewer know from the outset there’s something not quite right about her. It goes beyond her empathising with the killer. She seems to have a degree of control over him, which makes you question whether she is playing a part in these murders, perhaps for her own sexual gratification. Even the reveal at the end that the patient was just a patsy and that her husband is the real killer doesn’t give away everything. I feel there’s a lot more to unpack here with this relationship and this character, and I can’t wait to see how it unfolds in the next three episodes.

The main cast are pretty good. Idris Elba is predictably brilliant, stepping back into the tweed coat and red tie with little effort. Dermot Crowley and Michael Smiley return as DSU Martin Schenk and Benny respectively and both are great fun to watch. Benny in particular plays a more active role this time, no longer being just the stereotypical computer guy and instead taking part in the action, helping Luther to remove a bomb collar from a hostage, which was cool. The weak link is probably DS Catherine Haliday, played by Wunmi Mosaku. She’s set up as the newcomer, being fast tracked to the Serious and Serial Crimes Unit from the public sector, but she doesn’t really have that much of a part to play. Luther barely even acknowledges her existence most of the time. There’s none of the Batman and Robin-esque camaraderie that Luther and Justin Ripley had in the first three series and she’s not as interesting as Emma Lane was in the previous series. She just... exists. Hopefully she’ll get more to do as the series go on.

Another actor who’s wasted in this episode is Patrick Malahide, returning from Series 4 as ‘old school’ gangster George Cornelius. Actually this is something of a recurring problem for Luther. The first series I remember fondly because Neil Cross kept everything simple for the most part. Each episode was about a different serial killer and how Luther was going to catch him. But from Series 2 onward, everything started to get needlessly complicated with B plots and C plots and side stories and so on. I can understand why they’re doing this. Idris Elba and Neil Cross aren’t as readily available as they used to be so when they do find the time to make more Luther episodes, they want to cram in as much material as they can to make up for the long wait by fans. I get it completely, but it comes at the cost of the narrative as a whole. Vivien and her sexually deranged husband is an interesting plot in and of itself, but we keep getting yanked away from it in order to deal with an entirely separate plot about George trying to find his kidnapped son. George isn’t a bad character, don’t get me wrong. Malahide does a great job in the role, but you can’t help but feel all of this is a bit pointless. Why should I care about this guy? He’s a cockney arsehole who tried to assassinate Alice Morgan (the most popular character in the show) for a bunch of diamonds last series. Fuck him. At least now that Alice is back, we can hopefully see her exact her revenge on him.

On the whole, a solid start to the new series with a lot of potential going forward.

[wheresthetylenol]

Here we go..

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

Dilip - Geek, NoMBe - Miss Mirage, Starfucker - Kahlil Gibran, Icarus Moth - Needles, Skrillex - Would You Ever, and Duumu - Love Spells just to name a few. 

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Julian Casablancas

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad “He died of a heart attack on August 3, 1924, at the age of 66, and was buried near his home in a Roman Catholic cemetery in Canterbury.

4: What do you think about most? What’s really in it for me?

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say? I love you too baby. See you tomorrow!

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on? With.

7: What’s your strangest talent? I can whistle 4 different ways. 

8: Girls… (); Boys… () Lame question imo.

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you? No but there have been many many diary entries.

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar? Probably when I was a kid haha

11: Do you have any strange phobias? I fucking hate moths.

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? Don’t think so.

13: What’s your religion? I haven’t decided.

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? Leaving my house.

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? In front!

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? The Strokes

17: What was the last lie you told? I hope you guys have a good night!

18: Do you believe in karma? Yes, very much so.

19: What does your URL mean? It’s from Christmas Vacation.

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? Pizza, and my personal hygiene 

21: Who is your celebrity crush? Mary Elizabeth Winstead

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping? Yeah I sure have!

23: How do you vent your anger? Spending more time on hobbies or just going for a walk.

24: Do you have a collection of anything? I collect e-juice bottles I guess

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? Neither really, but talking on the phone

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become? Not yet, but I feel very close

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love? Other people eating, and hit markers in Overwatch 

28: What’s your biggest “what if”? What if when you die the light at the end of the tunnel is you being born again?

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? I don’t believe in ghosts but there are definitely a countless number of alien species out there

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. My mouse, and a coaster on my desk

31: Smell the air. What do you smell? Home!

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to? Hillyard haha

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast? West Coast any day

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? Tay Swifty

35: To you, what is the meaning of life? To fall in love and be very comfortable.

36: Define Art. Anything where someone is using creativity, and people who observe that believe it as such

37: Do you believe in luck? I used to

38: What’s the weather like right now? Cloudy, I think it’ll rain tomorrow

39: What time is it? 3:34 AM

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? Nope

41: What was the last book you read? H20 - Virginia Bergin 

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline? Not really, it’s too strong.

43: Do you have any nicknames? Jordy

44: What was the last film you saw? Bohemian Rhapsody, it was fantastic!

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? Just a big gash on my forehead when I was a kid

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly? I’ve never tried

47: Do you have any obsessions right now? Girls!

48: What’s your sexual orientation? Straight 

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you? Yes, plenty and still to this day 

50: Do you believe in magic? No

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? Not for long!

52: What is your astrological sign? I’m a Libra

53: Do you save money or spend it? Spend, but I really want to save. 

54: What’s the last thing you purchased? Vodka :)

55: Love or lust? Love

56: In a relationship? Yes

57: How many relationships have you had? 11 or 12?

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue? Yep

59: Where were you yesterday? I was at a basketball game

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? Nope

61: Are you wearing socks right now? Yes

62: What’s your favourite animal? Dogs :)

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? Charisma, and good energy

64: Where is your best friend? He’s at his place 

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr. lucidforests, showerthoughts, tattoosideas, archatlas, and bestfoodpictures

66: What is your heritage? I dont have one

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM? Netflix and chill

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name? Satan is a title

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off? Of course i have

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? Yeah, I talk to myself just as much as anyone else

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? I would get fired in a heartbeat! 

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid? a.) Yes, I would have to as tragic as it would be.. b.) Party like it’s 1999! c.) No, I think I would be ready

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love. That’s a really tough one.. I think I could manage with just love.

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? Zelliack - Call Me Old Fashioned

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number? 0720

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? Great sex!

77: How can I win your heart? Show me yours

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity? No boredom is way better

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? I chose music

80: What size shoes do you wear? 10.5

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone? Enemy double kill xD

82: What is your favourite word? Fuck, Ass, Bitch

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. Love

84: What is a saying you say a lot? Fuck me, dude.

85: What’s the last song you listened to? Miami Horror - Sometimes

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours? Blue 

87: What is your current desktop picture? I’ll post it

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? I don’t know really haha

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on? Question 88

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do? Freak the hell out!

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? I would love to be able to get $1,000 every time I reach into my pockets

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? My early teens, I loved all the good times me and my friends had back in the day!

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? Getting caught trying to steal money from my older sister

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? Tove Lo

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? Perth, Australia

96: Do you have any relatives in jail? Not for a very very long time

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car? No thank god haha

98: Ever been on a plane? Yes, we went to Disneyland

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say? I would tell everyone about my dream to be a professional producer, open an awesome record label, start a dope XM radio station and make bank!

Wow, I can’t believe I made it through this, if you read most of it, shoot me a PM. I would love to chat haha

[sarady]

oh shit, what about haise and juuzou (i dont know their ship name my bad)??

ahhh yes bless you just what i wanted lol (also the shipname is haisuzu c; )

send me a ship and I’ll tell you…

who is more likely to hurt the other?: oh boi and right to the angst huh. hmmm… now this is a hard one. maybe haise?who is emotionally stronger?: hmm probably juuzou? because we all know what kind of mess haise/kaneki is emotionally. but then again juuzou kinda looks like a pretty troubled person sometimes who just bottles up all the emotions inside him and never talks about how he feels. even if he might seem strong, who knows how broken he actually is from the inside.who is physically stronger?: oh boy another hard one. well, they are both incredibly strong. juuzous the strongest of the ccg, haise strongest of the ghouls. even if juuzou did beat kaneki, he was in a really weak shape back then. but even so if kaneki was starving and weak, juuzou still needed his arata armor to get him down. i really wonder how the fight would had gone if kaneki was in his full strength. i think id say that kaneki/haise is actually stronger..? its really hard to say to be honest.who is more likely to break a bone?: well theyre both in a job that includes a lot of fighting and dangerous situations and therefore injuries :’D but then again juuzou is really skilled when it comes to fighting, so id say maybe haise.who knows best what to say to upset the other?: uhh i..dont know??who is most likely to apologise first after an argument?: haise. juuzou can sometimes act pretty childishly when they have fights.who treats who’s wounds more often?: well haise can heal himself so he doesnt really need treating :D so in other words its haise who treats juuzou if he happens to get injured~who is in constant need of comfort?: hmmm… id say neither, but at the same time both maybe? theyre both persons with difficult and complex pasts and lives in general who both need comfort sometimes.who gets more jealous?: both, but mostly juuzou.who’s most likely to walk out on the other?: juuzou maybe..? like i already said, he can get really childish when they fight and usually just leaves the situation if it starts to get too annoying or uncomfortable for him.who will propose?: haisewho has the most difficult parents?: neither of them has parents lolwho initiates hand-holding when they’re out in public?: it depends, but mostly haisewho comes up for the other all the time?: …im not really sure what this means sorry :::’‘Dwho hogs the blankets?: juuzouwho gets more sad?: hmm haise maybe..?who is better at cheering the other up?: haisewho’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes?: well we all know haise and his stupid puns so yeah juuzou would definitely slap him whenever he tells those lmao even tho he secretly likes themwho is more streetwise?: uhh im not sure..? maybe juuzou??who is more wise?: well they both are, but id say juuzou because damn that boy is seriously much smarter than he looks.who’s the shyest?: probably haise. juuzou isnt really the kind of person who feels shyness or shame lol. he can be kinda shy around haise sometimes tho ;3who boasts about the other more?: haise. he loves to talk about how great and adorable his boyfriend is lolwho sits on who’s lap?: juuzou sits on haises lap~

thank you~

[ahmuteun]

All :)

welp, my computer decided to crap out on me while i was working on this last night so i get to restart it o yay :-)

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

according to my itunes library, four of the songs are songs my friend wrote and the other two are hyorin and kisum’s fruity and john mayer’s new light and i fucking love that song

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

idk someone who can pay off my debt and tuition lmao

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

i’m too lazy to get up im sorry lol

4: What do you think about most?

it depends, currently its probably me ripping off the band aid and what the fall out for that is gonna be like 

also boys are stupid

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

“oh right LOL ya i got it hehe”

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

with, but i never sleep with pants on

7: What’s your strangest talent?

uummmm i can stand on my toes, does that count?

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

girls, yes lol

boys, are fucking dumb 

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

not to my knowledge 

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

idk i dont do it a lot if ever

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

no not really i think

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

when i was a kid i did lmao

13: What’s your religion?

christianity 

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

walking to/ from campus or downtown

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

it depends on the situation and how i look lol

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

idk probably shinee cause theyve been my favorite for a while but im not sure anymore

17: What was the last lie you told?

“my bus was late” lol

18: Do you believe in karma?

to some extent i do 

19: What does your URL mean?

it’s dumb and i need to change it but idk what i would change it to

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

im trying to think of these through jen’s perspective because she’s one of the people who knows me best 

weakness: caring/ doing things for others even if it’s at my own expense. but i have so many weaknesses it’s so hard to just choose one

strength: probably that i care about people lmao it’s a double edged sword

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

idk i dont really have one

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

yeah, regrettably 

23: How do you vent your anger?

by ranting with my mates and possibly getting drunk LOL

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

nah

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

it depends on who i’m talking to but if it’s someone im comfortable with/ i look decent i’ll video chat but i dont really mind either 

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

umm i mean for the most part i guess im okay

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

hate: metal scraping against metal

love: the sound of my mates’ laughter

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

currently it’s “what if ripping off the band aid goes horribly wrong??” aaaaahhhhhhh fuck

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

yes and yes

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

nothing for both

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

nothing 

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

the under 21 club we went to during senior week comes to mind

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

i love both but i’ll say east because i’ve been more shaped by the east

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

idk man, gd?? 

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

i dont fuckin know man 

36: Define Art.

idk look it up on google

37: Do you believe in luck?

eeehhhh to some extent i guess so 

38: What’s the weather like right now?

hot, humid, and rainy

39: What time is it?

3:11pm

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

yes and i’ve only ever been in fender benders so nah

41: What was the last book you read?

the simpsons and their mathematical secrets lol

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

no gross

43: Do you have any nicknames?

way too many lmao

44: What was the last film you saw?

that isnt a tv show? the scooby doo movie lmao 

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

spraining my foot or cracking my head open lol

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

maybe when i was younger

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

BROOKLYN 99 I FUCKING LOVE THIS SHOW

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

bi wooo

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

probably

50: Do you believe in magic?

no

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

uuhhh no not really 

52: What is your astrological sign?

gemini

53: Do you save money or spend it?

i want to save it but ive been spending way too much lately, help

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

ummmm pho i think? wait no it was boba

55: Love or lust?

lust lol 

56: In a relationship?

naahhh

57: How many relationships have you had?

eehhh none

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

nope

59: Where were you yesterday?

work and my apartment lol

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

yep 

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

yep

62: What’s your favourite animal?

my doggie

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

i dont have one lmao

64: Where is your best friend?

one is back home in maryland and the other is visiting family in california

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

idk i dont have any

66: What is your heritage?

korean

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

trying to fall asleep and failing

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

i dont think he has one

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

everyone has

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

idk i hate myself too much to not say no lmao

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

if my boss doesnt understand that i was saving a dogs life then i dont want to work for them

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a) i tell the people i love and care about and let everyone else find out by word of mouth 

b) i dunno, spend time with the people i love and care about and give them lots of good memories to remember me by

c) yes but who wouldnt be?

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

trust because i dont believe that you can have love, platonic or not, without trust 

or maybe thats just my trust issues talking idk lmao

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

idk but if im in a shit mood no song can change that 

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

no thanks

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

idk im the worst person to ask 

77: How can I win your heart?

my heart is unattainable because it doesnt exist lol

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

i mean sure i guess?? 

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

probably choosing my uni because i’ve made such amazing friends and met people who have impacted who i am as a person way more than i could ever imagine and im just so happy right now 

80: What size shoes do you wear?

6.5 heels but 7 for everything else

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

idk man 

82: What is your favourite word?

i dont have one 

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

my friend’s tattoos of hearts on her arm, they look so cool and i love them

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

“let me live” “i hate you” “mate” idk theres a lot

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

truth is by jay park

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

blue, yellow, and green

87: What is your current desktop picture?

it’s so cute i love it 

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

no one cause im not that mean 

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

who i’ve been with and crap like that 

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

it would probably scare me and i would leave 

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

super speed probably, you could do so much plus i would never be late to anything again AND i would be doing cardio, win win

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

i dont think i would ever want to do that so i’ll pass

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

i wouldnt because every experience has helped shaped me into who i am today 

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

oh man i would have to think about this cause i dont have a person off the top of my head that comes to mind 

bm from kard maybe?? idfk 

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

korea or japan 

or maybe australia

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

not to my knowledge 

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

yep :-) whoops

i mean it was in a trashcan and i was trashed so

98: Ever been on a plane?

yep

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

pls venmo me cause im broke :D

thanks for asking!

[kounfetti]

[Diabolik Lovers: Lost Eden] Kou Mukami Dark Epilogue Translation

(TN//  Done with dark, onto maniac~  I changed the formatting so it might be easier to read on pc. (this is a long translation too) THIS took a while to translate, it was at least a good 6 hours. Please don’t put this translation anywhere outside of tumblr- link back to this post only. I don’t mind this being translated into other languages as long as you link back to my blog and ask for permission before hand\\)

Scene: Dungeon

Kou: (Kino is here.)

Kou: (Because I wanted to hear various things from him, I gave up being able to have meals, but)

Kou: (Subaru knocked me into a nail, I wonder what I should do...)

Flashback

Kou: Hey, Subaru. If you’re willing, I’ll take it.

Subaru: Do what you want. Don’t say unnecessary things.

Kou: Yep yep. I understand. 

Flashback Ends

Kou: Haa...

Kou: (Even if I do this, I doubt Kino will answer willing.)

Kou: (I went to Kino quickly, as I need to fix this. I wont leave out the talk of Eden...)

Kou: (If things stay as they are, I’ll be stuck here forever.)

Kino appears

Kou: Would you look at that, You’re here.

Kou: I haven’t eaten, but I’m unbothered by it. Are you unaffected by the change?

Kino: ....

Kou: Well thats fine. But even if you dont eat...

Kou: Hey, Just a moment ago, I was talking about---

Kino: You too? You also dont believe me?

Kou: ..uh..Its nothing like that, I just dont believe that everything is a total lie.

Kou: Its because I remember the look on your face. 

Kou: When I lived in the manhole and other such places when I was a child, I also had that look in my eyes....

Kino: Aah. Thats why. Even when all that happened to me,  you feel guilty?

Kino: Oh I know. Is it because it was that person who took you out of that situation? 

Kou: But I’m scared. I came here to investigate.

Kino: You and your brothers aren’t of the same blood. You’re all just a group of pitiful taken in children.

Kino: Ah-ha, I wonder that If you guys weren’t taken in,  maybe he would’ve seeked me out instead...

Kou: So thats it.

Kou: You really are the son of Karlhienz?

Kino: ....

Kou: (The jail bars... just now they..?!)

Kino: How do you think I got this power? Its whatever you think though...

Kino: Fuaah... Hm, Well I think thats enough. Good night.

Kou: Wai....I cant get out?! The jail bars are broken down yet I still can’t get out....

Kino: There’s no reason for you to leave. This place suits you pretty well....Hahah...

Kou: ....

Scene Change: Sakamaki Castle Grand Hall

Kou: (Well suited enviorment for me....)

Kou: (Kino... You must have some awful eyesight to see it like that.)

Subaru appears

Kou: Ah...

Subaru: I dont know what you said, but I’ll believe your word.

Kou: ......

Subaru: He was asking for pity. I dont know what I should try but I’m hungry, 

Kou: Haa..? What kind of thing is that? Using your power, you’re capable of stealing from me? Is that what you’re trying to tell me?

Subaru: Wha..thats..

Kou: Always, the principal is to have a habit of doing something they’re not aware of. I feel like I should argue against that. 

Kou: I think that you dont deserve that power.

Kou: I think that Kino deserves that strength, Dont you think?!

Kou: Also, that you should make good use of your strength! Only a thought though!

Subaru: Tch...you bastard!

Subaru pushes Kou

Reiji: Please stop that. Its not a good look on both of you. 

Kou: ..Tc..

Subaru: Tch.

Reiji: Kou, There’s something I need to tell you. 

Reiji: Its about Azusa and your girlfriend. 

Kou: C-Could it be that they are looking for me?!

Reiji: Earlier, while you were there, I recieved this information from a familiar.

Reiji: Apparently, when they were in a forest in the demon world, they were caught by a member of the Vibora clan.

Kou: (Why? Why would they go to Eden together...?!)

Kou: e-Eh...Ruki’s familiar..?

Kou’s Monologue

Because of the familiar’s letter, I’m tired.

-----The Sakamaki family was facing a difficult matter when Yui and Azusa headed here. 

And so the letter was written.

Kou’s Monologue Ends

Kou: (Perhaps, it was because they were told about Kino?)

Kou: Why... This is my fault...!

Kou: I’m gonna go rescue them!---

Kou tries to leave, but Subaru pulls him back

Subaru: Wait. If you go, there could be a different outcome of what will happen. 

Kou: I dont care about what you’re saying! I’m going to help them!

Subaru: No. You dont have the strength to go alone.

Kou: ...hh...

Kou: (I dont have the strength.... that may be true, but....)

Subaru: I’ll go and rescue them. You wait here.

Kou: Ha....What are you saying!

Reiji: ....Calm down. I can’t forgive you if you act selfishly.

Reiji: Its probable that the Vibora family that kidnapped your girlfriend will give you a hard time if you encounter them.

Reiji: We have to wait until we can get all the information on the matter. And then we will propose a strategy to go rescue them efficiently.

Subaru: Tch. Thats a waste of time!

Kou: I agree! What if we dont encounter anything awful like you say we will! 

???: Ahahah. What Reiji is saying sounds reasonable to me.

Kino appears

Kino: They will aim for her heart. That girl, is who Karlhienz in the demon world made Eve.

Kino: Her heart is important. Dont try to pretend like its not. 

Subaru: You bastard! How did you get out!

Kino: Hm---? Kou left it open when he left. 

Kou: Wai.... I dont think I left it that open. 

Kou: Anyways, just now, what did you say about not saving M Neko Chan and Azusa!

Kou: If you and Reiji are skeptical that it was a good idea, I honestly dont know but, 

Kou: What if she doesnt know and they try to kill Eve, did you think about that!?

Kou: (About that, Azusa is a vampire. Without her, he’ll think that there’s no reason for him to stay alive....)

Reiji: What other thing can we do? Subaru, go to the Vibora family’s king and deliver him a letter. 

Subaru: Haaah?! You want me to deliver some stupid letter? Anyone can do that!

Reiji: Please understand the position you are in. Right now, you are the king of the vampires, are you not?

Reiji: If you try to start a war with them, our problems will only grow worse. 

Reiji: Make this go smoothly. Dont do something that could permanently harm us.

Subaru: B-But...

Reiji: Subaru. Think about what you’ll do from here on out. 

Subaru: .......I understand. But, Reiji. You write the letter.

Reiji: Eehh? They will probably be able to tell that it is an unfelt letter, and that you didnt write it. 

Subaru: Tch. Dont make me look dumb!

Kou: ......

Kou’s Monologue (Its a bit long so I’m not putting all the screencaps)

While I was watching them talk to each other, I saw that they didn’t have an inferiority complex. It was only because since I was out of the trap, that I realized this. 

I was supposed to save Yui. 

-----Anyways, In myself, I’m growing impatient not being able to do anything. 

In my own mind, I’m making the decision to not hesitate in doing something. 

But there is a physical problem. Because I dont have my own strength, I have nothing to show. 

When it comes to that important son, it only worsens my thoughts. 

As I grew aware of this, I turned my back on them and chose to leave anyways. 

Even if its a small action, I dont want to hesitate anymore. I dont want to believe that I’m powerless. 

Kou’s Monologue Ends

Kino: Hey, You’re thinking that you want it, right? Subaru’s strength. 

Kou pushes Kino

Kou: ----I dont need his strength! I dont need it!

Kou: I dont need that kind of strength to save M Neko Chan! 

Kou: (Hh...But, If, its her, than I will do whatever I can to help her....)

Kino: But are you being honest?

Kino: We are similar, I understand your way of thinking. 

Kou: ----Hhh! Dont group me together with you!

Kou: Even though you also had a rough childhood, 

Kou: The person of the past’s despair, I cant believe it was just recent!

Kou: I mean it when I say, that I dont believe it!

Kino: But, how much of yourself did he pick up? You uphold Karlhienz’s ideals. 

Kino: Its useless having high faith in him. Thats only what I think though, right? 

Kou: ...tc...

Scene Change: Vibora Clan’s Dungeon

Azusa: Eve... Are you alright....?

Yui: Yea. I’m sorry, Azusa. 

Yui: (Perhaps, Kou is on his way to the Viboras, as we were captured....)

Yui: (What am I supposed to do here? What do the Viboras want with me?)

Vibora Person A: Tsbaik is calling for you. ----Come. 

Yui: Kyaaa?!

Azusa jumps in the way

Azusa: Dont do it! Dont take Eve!

Vibora Person A: Tch! Get away, there’s no need for you!

Azusa is hit

Azusa: Ugahh!

Azusa falls down

Yui: Azusa!

Azusa: E-Eve, Escape!

Vibora Person A: Fuuh... Shut up vampire! 

Azusa: Guh......!

Yui: Stop hurting him! I’ll do what you say!

Azusa: ..uh... its.. no.. good.

Yui: It’ll be alright. Because, I am not worried. 

Yui: Please show me to where Tsbaik is....

Scene Change: Vibora Clan’s Castle Grand Hall

Tsbaik: .....

Yui: (..uh..This person is the Vibora clan’s king....Tsbaik...)

Tsbaik: Hey. Release her restraints. 

Vibora Person A: Understood. 

Yui: Eh....

Yui: (Why did he release me?)

Yui:----uh.....

Tsbaik: Fufu. Dont be scared. 

Tsbaik: You’re eve. Are you the bride from the demon world?

Yui’s Monologue (Its long, so again, I’m only putting the first screencap)

The Vibora clan’s king, Tsbaik, seemed heartfelt in the way greeted me, it can’t be imitated. 

It seemed that I was welcomed probably because of the fact that my heart’s owner, Cordelia, was the daughter of Burai, the king of the demon world. 

However, Even though Tsbaik’s words were confusing for me, It was a meaningful opportunity. 

Seeing that---- 

I asked about the state of the Vampire’s castle, but he only shrugged his shoulders. 

It is certain that there was an intrustion there. There is nothing to be afraid about, as I know there will be a letter to arrive. 

In his hand, he had the letter of the Vampire king, Subaru. 

I unexpectedly got weak and needed to lie down. 

Yui’s Monologue Ends

Yui: ....So, is Kou not coming cause it isn’t safe for him.....?

Tsbaik: Just because it wasn’t written in the letter, you’re worried if he’s alright or not? 

Yui: I guess its like that. 

Yui: (If Subaru had to write a letter, it must be some special circumstances,)

Yui: (Seems like that ever since the Sakamaki family was attacked, they’ve been doing strange things.)

Yui: (But, they are alright, I think....)

Yui: (Still, I am worried, Kou, what if you are suffering from an injury?)

Tsbaik: Even as a vampire, he seems to have your heart. You dont think its wrong, right?

Yui: Really?

Yui: (Tsbaik seems to be friendly and kindhearted....)

Yui: (However, this means I dont need to stay here, right?)

Yui: (I need to help Azusa out, and together, we can escape.....)

Dark 10 ♥ Maniac Prologue

[shannxoxon]

Raised from perdition

Read Chapter 1

Read Chapter 2

Read Chapter 3

Chapter 4: Dead Daddy’s club

Pairing: Dean x Reader (season 4)

Summary: You had known the Winchester boys for about a year and a half now, you had met them on a hunt and found out that your dads had worked together a few years back. Sam had been like an older brother to you and Dean… well, you wished Dean had seen you as more than a little sister.

You and Dean are working a case together, but your past comes back to haunt you yet again. You and Dean find out about Sam’s ‘co-curricular’ activites and Dean tells you the truth about what he remembers from the pit.

(Loosely following the events of season 4, this is kinda an orignal story line tho)

Warnings: Swearing, physical violence, more implied smut (finally)

Words: 2,755

Author’s notes: I would love to hear any feedback or suggestions on this fic! also let me know if you want to be tagged in upcoming chapters! Also im really happy with how this chaper turned out so I hope you enjoy it!

You turned the tap and the water came pouring out, you waited for it to heat up before you stepped under the it. You and the boys were back in another dingy hotel, working on cases while trying to stop Lilith from breaking the seals. The boys had gone out for some food, so you finally got a chance to hang out in the room by yourself. It had felt like you hadn’t had a shower in years, in this job you were constantly covered in blood or dirt so taking a shower was always like a fresh start. You ran your hands through your Y/H/C coloured hair and washed out as much grease from it as you could. You grabbed a shaver from the shelf and hacked at the hair on your legs then washed yourself with the complimentry body wash that smelt mostly of chemicals. You stepped out of the shower and wrapped yourself in a towel, you always forgot to bring in clean clothes when you got into the shower. You dried your hair and gave it a brush before putting it up into a messy bun on your head. You opened the door into the bedroom to get dressed when you notice Dean sitting at the table eating a slice of pie. “What the hell, I thought you guys went out to eat” you held onto the towel to stop it from falling down. “We got it to go.” Dean mumbled, his mouth full of food. Dean’s eyes wondered over your body, he had seen you in less before but it had been a while since that night. You grabbed your clothes and headed back into the bathroom to change, Dean didn’t take his eyes of you until you closed the door. You walked back out after a minute in one of Dean’s old tshirts (You didn’t really have much clothes with you so you took all the hand-me-downs you could get) that almost covered your knees. Dean liked it when you would wear his clothes. “Did you get me anything” you ask, hopeing he brought you back something to eat. He passed you a burger and you took a seat next to him. “Where’s Sam?” you ask, taking a bite into your food. “He went to do some research on the case.” you looked over to Sam’s bed, his laptop sitting in the middle of it. “Without his laptop?” you ask, Dean just gave you a shrug and took a sip from his beer. “So what do we know about this case?” you picked up Dean’s beer and take a sip, he gives you a half annoyed, half flirty look, you knew that you had been teasing him after the way you saw him looking at you and you liked it, being in control for once. “Just the usual, woman goes crazy murders her husband and then goes on a killing spree, after she was caught claimed she didn’t remember a thing, said she was possesed.”

You were leaving the police station, you had interveiwed the woman who had killed those people. Her story seemed to fit with any typical demon possession. Now you just had to figure out why. You and Dean made your way back to the motel to meet up with Sam and fill him in on what you had found out. Dean opened the door to the motel room and all of a sudden he fell to the ground, he had been knocked out by a tall, skinny man, another 2 men where standing behind him, there eyes flashed black and you knew right away. The skinny man walked up to you and punched you hard in the gut, you fell to your knees holding your stomach, groaning in pain. “Long time no see” he says to you, you were confused, you dont think you had ever me this demon before, you couldn’t think about it much longer before he knocked you out with the back of your gun. You woke up tied to a chair in a dark room. You could feel your hands and feet had been tied to the limbs of a chair. you tried to lift your head but your whole body seiezed in pain, you assumed the demon must have gone a few rounds with you while you were passed out. Your eyes finally adjusted to the dark room and you could see a few objects around you, you looked over to your right and see Dean tied up like you were, still knocked out. “Dean” you whisper to him, you didn’t want to alert the Demons and let them know you had woken up. “Dean” you whisper again a little louder. You see his head move and his body shift, when he finally came to he tried to free himself from the ropes but it seemed to be know use. “Y/N, you ok,” you gave yourself a quick once over on your body, making sure you had no serious damage. “Yea, I think so” you reply. “What about you?” Dean did the same and checked his body for anything. “Yea, im fine” you wait a second and have another look around the room for anyhing that could help determine where you are, or could help get you out. “So whats the plan Dean?” it wouldn’t be long until the Demons would barge through the door and probably kill the both of you. “Im thinking!” Dean sounded agetatted, he must be at a lose for anyway of breaking free. The door infront of you swings open and the same man from the motel stood before you, he walked in and turned on the light, It looked as if you were in a factory wearhouse somewhere. “Well, if it aint the dead daddy’s club.” the demon looks at Dean then at You, he gives you an evil grin. “And who the hell are you suppose to be?” Dean asks, that all to familiar sarcastic voice was back. “Well Dean we havn’t had the pleasure yet, but I’v heard all about you.” Dean gave the demon his usual smirk “I know, I’m kinda a celebrity.” Dean laughes, followed by a painful cough. The demon turns back to you, he started walking around you, touching your hair, then you bareskin. “Don’t touch her, you bastard” Dean warned. “It’s ok Dean, me and Y/N go way back.” you were confused, you don’t remember who this demon was. “Y/N, you don’t remember? oh that’s to bad we had so much fun together. You and your Daddy had been tracking me down, trying to ruin the fun I was having” you stopped yourself from going back to that night, the one you had tried to forget. “Your Daddy found me and trapped me didnt he, tried to exorcise me” you couldn’t hear the rest, you didn’t want to. “Shut up, just Shut up!” you yelled pulling at the ropes on your arms, wishing yourself loose so you could jump on the son of a bitch and kill him. “But Daddy was a little rusty, made a mistake and I got free. then you walked in, and then we had our fun didn’t we.” Dean was looking at you, but you couldn’t look back. “Don’t listen to him Y/N, he just trying to mess with your head” He wanted to help you but he didn’t know how, he was useless tied up like this. “I made you watch didn’t I, as I tore your Daddy limb from limb” you stopped struggling and your head dropped “I’m going to kill you” you said in a low voice, barley audible. “What was that?” the demon asked. You lifted your head back up and stared at him. You tried your best not to show any fear. “I said, Im going to fucking KILL YOU!” the demon just laughs at you, tearing you up inside. “So what you kidnapped us and now your going to kill us?” Dean asks, he knew you couldnt take much more of his taunting. “Not yet, you know Lilith want’s your brothers head on a spike.” “So this is a trap then? for Sam?” the demon holds up his hand “Ding, Ding, Ding, you’ve hit the jackpot” Dean shakes his head with a smirk on his face, “You think Sam will fall for this?” the demon stops in front of Dean and leans down so they are face to face. “I’m counting on it.” The demon raises his hand and you feel like all the bones in your body begin to break, and your throat closes up. You heard a loud commotion in the other room and suddenly preassure on your body was gone. The door slams open and Sam is standing there, a woman standing next to him and the other demons were lying on the floor. “Well Sam it’s about time you showed up.” Sam held up his hand to the demon and closed his eyes. The demon started shaking and black smoke started to exit his mouth, you couldn’t believe what you were seeing, Sam was excorsising a demon with his mind.

You were back at the motel, your body ached all over. Sam and Dean where outside fighting over what Sam had just done. So you thought it was best to just get out of their way. You pulled of your clothes and put on Dean’s old tshirst, you could hear Dean yelling outside at his brother and he sounded pissed. You sat on Dean’s bed and waited while the boys figured their shit out. To be honest you agreed with Dean, that what Sam was doing was crazy and Ruby was bad news. You knew well enough that all demon’s were just...evil. Dean swung open the door to the motel room and slammed it right behind him, Sam didn’t follow. He walked over to the fridge and pulled out a beer. It was a little awkward, you could tell Dean was angry still and you thought if you said anything to him now he might take it out on you. So you just sat on his bed in silence. Two beers later and finally Dean spoke. “I can’t believe him” you really didn’t want to get yourself involved in the brothers fight, it was a complex relationship they had. “He did save our life.” you say, Dean looked at you with the same eye’s he was giving your brother on the car ride home. “He can exorcise demons with his mind Y/N, thats not normal” you nodded your head, agreeing with him. There was another long pauce before anyone spoke, “So that demon, he killed your dad?” you went silent, “I don’t want to talk about it.” you say. “Look it’s ok, I know what its --” you cut him short “I said I dont want to talk about it Dean” you stood up facing him with your arms crossed. “I just think, it helps to talk about it” you opened you eyes wide, really? you thought, he was such hypocryte. “Ok you want an open hour, lets talk about you huh? what do you remember from hell Dean?” Dean stood up and moved towards you, aggetated that you had brought this topic of conversation up. “I told you, I dont remember a god damn thing.” you knew the truth though, you had known Dean long enough now to know when he was lying. “So the nightmares, they have nothing to do with it?” Dean looked away from you, he was upset. “I don’t know what your talking about.” “Come on Dean, I know you” you move towards him, you were only a few inches away. “What do you want me to say?” Dean yelled, he had never acted like this around you, he was usually calm and gentel with you but this was a knew side of Dean you had never seen before. “I remember everything ok, I remember every god damn thing that happened to me down there. Not only that but 4 months in the pit, it’s like 40 years.” You wanted to reach out and touch him, comfort him but you were frozen. He continued, it was like he had been holding this in and needed to let it out to somene, someone he trusted. “They, uh... They sliced and carved and tore at me in ways that you... Until there was nothing left. And then, suddenly... I would be whole again... like magic... just so they could start in all over. And this demon, Alastair... at the end of every day... every one... he would come over. And he would make me an offer. To take me off the rack... if I put souls on... if I started the torturing. And every day, I told him to stick it where the sun shines. For 30 years, I told him. But then I couldn't do it anymore, Y/N. I couldn't. And I got off that rack. God help me, I got right off it, and I started ripping them apart. I lost count of how many souls.” you noticed his were glassy and filling up with water.  “The -- the things that I did to them. “How I feel... This... inside me... I wish I couldn't feel anything, Y/N I wish I couldn't feel a damn thing.” You knew there was nothing you could say to help him or make it better. You put your hand on his cheek and he leaned into it. You move in and press your lips against his. It was all you could think to do and it seemed to work as you felt his heart beat slow under your hand which was resting on his chest. You pulled away and looked at him. He had a look of shock on his face, you guess he wasn’t expecting what had just happened. For second you thought maybe that wasn’t what he wanted but Dean grabbed the back of your neck and kissed you again, harder. You reached up and put your arms around his neck, you needed to be as close to him as you could get, to make sure he knew you were there. You and Dean needed each other more than you had realised until this moment. Dean started to pick up the pace, the kiss went from gentle to passionate and you let your hands down from his neck to his chest. Dean’s lips wondered from your mouth to your neck and you let out a small moan. That must have set him off because Dean picked you up and pushed you against the wall. You pulled off Dean’s shirt and threw it down on the ground, you let your hands move all around his upper body, taking in how he felt under your finger tips. One of Dean’s hands was still on your ass, holding you up on him, the other was exploring under your top. He moved you over to the bed and pulled your top over your head. You were left basically naked and you had a moment of embarasment, but Dean made you feel comfortable. He placed kisses all over your body, making you moan with each touch. You pulled off his jeans and you were in the exact same position as that night a year ago, you half expected Dean’s phone to ring again or for Sam to walk back through the door, but nothing happened. It was just you and Dean, and for once, in a very long time, you felt genuinly happy.

You woke at around 3am in the morning, Dean had sprung up from the bed sweating and panting, it had been another nightmare. But this time it was different, this time you were there to bring him back to reality. You kissed Dean’s cheek and he turned to look at you. “It’s ok, I’m here.” You both lie back down on the bed you rest your head on Dean’s chest and he warps an arm around you. This felt like what you to had been designed for, to comfort one another, that you would always be there for each other no matter what. “Thank you” you heard Dean whisper to you, you lifted your head from his chest and moved up to his lips, the kiss threatened to become passionate again but you were both exahused so you broke away and layed back down. Even though the world was literally going to shit, and an apocolypse was just begining you had never felt safer than you did right now in Dean’s arms.

To Be Continued...

@polina-93 @stardust1374