#'oh fuck. headcanons are the only new content now...'

[thatssolavellan]

Oh my god. I finished. I finished the g a m e

I literally JUST finished. So I'm collecting my thoughts rn but I already have some opinions. Some of them need time, but I already have to say: I now understand why so much solavellans had strong feelings for it, but for me, it was good.

(Some late game spoilers under the cut + English is not my first language)

Overall, I like how they managed the Solas/Mythal relationship. It didn't bother me except for the absence of at least a strong citation about the Well of Sorrows, which looked like a huge choice in DAI, and I think it could be included along the Inquisitor's plot. But it's ok for me, I guess. *shrugs*

I think I understand now why that many people got upset. We had 10 years to invest in those characters, and our headcanons are impossible to squeeze in a game which wasn't even about Solas and Lavellan. So, it was impossible to make sense for everyone since they had only one "Solavellan ending". Leaving to go with Solas wasn't a real choice to every Lavellans. I still don't know if I liked it more because it fits my headcanon like a glove, or if I liked it because it is much less tragic that I expected lol (those words from Corinne saying that it would hurt haunted me). But I really think that it was a fair ending for both of the characters.

And, about the ending of the game in general, my biggest surprise was the Varric thing. I got really angry when he didn't die at the prologue after Solas stabbed him. I hate this Gandalf stuff when a major character dies and comes back like a miracle, just for make us suffer then immediately soothing these feelings. So when I found he was actually dead it was really a plot twist - I didn't even imagine it during the game. Same with the character who died with Ghilan'nain (for me, it was Harding).

I really liked all the new characters and the writing in general. Some bits felt kinda "rushed" for me, but not too much. The quest about Solas's regrets was a great way to put new players into the lore and answered everything we needed about what concerned the game. And I found it really fun, like us people digging around the lore and our wild theories in Reddit and here in Tumblr lol

Anyways. I'm relieved the ending didn't totally destroy the characters or put them in a lot of situations which didn't feel true for them. I trusted the work of the writers since the start, but with so many problems during the development (including the awful layoffs), I expected the worst. And I'm glad BioWare sticked with its expertise. As a fan of ME2, I loved the combat, progressions, maps and everything. And the "cartoonized" art style bothered me in the beginning but I kept my mind open, and now I even like it.

(Still hate Hans Zimmer's OST tho. Doesn't even get close to the toes of DAI and Trespasser OSTs.)

And look at her. She's a fucking looker. House de Riva has only the finest 🧑‍🍳👌 Having Viago and Teia made me rush immediately to the Antivan Crows and I'm not disappointed. Being latina I had my share of annoyance with all the stereotypes, but hey... I also really like coffee.

Lucanis's romance was a downer, okay, but it gives us more room to fanfiction lmao (here we go again). I'll cope with it doing a new gameplay and romancing Emmrich >:)

Dragon Age has a special place in my heart forever and I feared for the franchise. So I'm relieved and happy for being here.

Shout out for all us Solavellans. I remember when I saw people mocking us in the fandom for asking for more Solavellan content in the game. Devs, I love you all. Here's for better days in the future.

I didn't even finish the game yet and I almost threw up of anxiety when I was going to meet my inquisitor for the 2nd time. And since I cannot get off Tumblr I already had several spoilers about the ending. Almost regretting asking for all these cameos with Ellana. Boy I'm SO ✨not ready✨ for this

[a-hazbin-reader]

HII

Could you do some hcs of alastor with wife!reader who ABSO(LUTE)LY adores dogs? (alastor hates the dog with his entire life)

I mean...he kinda has a good reason not to be a dog person...

😡

Alastor X Reader Headcanons

✅️Romantic

❌️Platonic

TW: Alastor Vs Doggo 🐶 Cannibalism, Vox getting owned by dog

Description: ☝️⬆️

Look, Alastor loves you deeply and would do anything for you, absolutely anything

Except let you have a dog

Absolutely not, he won't have a dog running around in his hotel and creating problems

He can already see it

The dog using the hotel as it's personal bathroom, gnawing on his hooves and ruining all the furniture

Humping everything in sight!!

You can have anything else, you can have Niffty! She makes a good pet don't you think?

No

How about Husk? He's basically a cat

"Fuck you!"

You want a dog, you even have one picked out already

You what? When did you even have time to go look at dogs? He's been purposefully keeping you busy anytime you mention one

The bite marks all over your body are evidence of it

Totally doesn't believe you're actually bringing home a dog until you do, then he's spitting out his tea

"Y/N, darling, what is that?"

"A smoothie."

"You know what I mean."

"Oh this? Our new dog, isn't he cute?"

You can't have a dog in the hotel-

Charlie and everyone else already agreed to it, even Husk said yes just to piss off Alastor

So everyone is on your side and you'll have adequate help, Alastor won't hardly ever even notice the dog

Except he does notice the dog, like all the time

The damned beast is always trying to hop up next to him, only to be shoved off by Alastor

"No furry beasts on the furniture~ The hair is a nightmare to clean up. Disgusting really..."

Not Husk and Angel giving him dirty looks for that one

After a couple of unsuccessful attempts to sit next to him, it simply settles for resting by his feet

At least it makes a decent footrest

Or the dog is always hogging your attention, sitting in your lap, laying with you in bed, following you around

How is a man supposed to sleep with his wife when there's some mutt in his spot???

You've caught Alastor glaring at your dog a few times, especially when you're giving him scratches and pets

He wants to be the one to hog your lap and be pampered by you, maybe you could even try giving him a belly rub or two

It certainly looks appealing

Alastor at least thinks he can get time alone with you outside of the hotel but nope, you insist on taking the dog with you

"He needs the fresh air and exercise, Alastor!"

But your husband needs some alone time with you! He's not being dramatic!

Or he's trying to enjoy his breakfast?? Guess who's paws are on the table, begging and slobbering over the idea of a bite

"Absolutely not, you can just forget abou-HEY!"

Looks like his breakfast now belongs to the dog

You definitely make him another breakfast and apologize over and over again

Kiss him and sit in his lap, then maybe he'll consider forgiving you~

Sometimes, when you're sleeping, Alastor and the dog will be locked into a staring match

"I don't like you."

Whine

Rosie tries to sell him on the idea of just maybe liking this one dog, even she's taken a liking to him apparently

Traitor

You make Alastor promise that he won't ever get rid of the dog, OR EAT HIM, OR HURT HIM

And he can't break a promise he made to his darling wife

But he hates this fucking dog with a passion so when the dog suddenly gets out one day? He's perfectly content to let him run off

Until he realizes how upset you would be that your beloved pooch is gone and that gives him pause

Fffffffffuck

Not him spending all day trying to find a dog he doesn't even like, asking everyone if they've seen him

Nope, no, sorry no, ect

Just when Alastor has just about given up and started to contemplate trying to replace the mutt, he hears a familiar yell

"IS THIS DOG FUCKING PISSING ON ME!?"

Vox

Following the sound, Alastor is greeted with the sight of your dog running circles around Vox, who's standing in a puddle with wet pants

For some reason, the delightful mutt has taken to terrorizing him, biting at his limbs only to jump just out of reach of Vox's claws

Maybe it's something he's picked up from Alastor, you certainly didn't teach the dog that

The sight is too funny for Alastor, who doesn't even try to stop the dog, only laughing maniacally

Maybe this mutt isn't so bad

Later, when he comes home with the dog, you notice they seem much fonder of each other

Alastor goes and picks him out a fancy new leash, he starts giving him table scraps and he even invites the dog to be his footrest

Quit putting your feet on my dog

Stop giving the dog fingers!!

You catch him giving the pup a few scratches here and there, almost in an absent-minded manner

He starts calling the dog by his name instead of calling him beast, mutt, hound, monstrosity, ect

He even gives the dog his own room at the hotel with his own fluffy doggy bed

Okay, that last part might just be him wanting his marital bed back

We love dogs in this house!!

[anakinstwinklebunny]

NERD!ANAKIN HEADCANONS

TW: at some point it contains sexual content, so if you're sensitive to that or don't feel comfortable with it, please do not read it for your own safety and comfort.

Author's note: thinking about some nerd!anakin fic where he had heard the reader talk with her friends that she's not passing physics and since he has the biggest crush on her since second grade he later suggest to help her..if she'll help him with something else ;)

Nerd!Anakin who inside was a little dirty minded boy that wished nothing more to have a loving girlfriend to do with her all the cool, nice things he always wanted to do (and he meant more joyful activities than sex)

Nerd!Anakin who has a collection of technical manuals and scientific holobooks that he reads in his spare time. His nightstand is filled with them, and he gets excited when a new one comes out. He’ll stay up late, curled up on the couch, devouring a manual on hyperdrive mechanics or some obscure sci-fi novel, eyes glued to the hologram.

He also loves telling you all about the technical details of what he's learning. You may not always understand everything he’s talking about, but his excitement is so adorable that you just let him ramble on.

Nerd!Anakin who has a soft spot for droids, and he might even give them 'upgrades' just because he thinks they deserve a treat. “You’ve been working hard, buddy. How about a new power cell?”. He’ll talk to them while he works, explaining what he’s doing like they’re his assistants (his fav is R2D2 obviously)

Nerd!Anakin who gets ridiculously excited about the latest gadgets or tech upgrades. When something new comes out, he’s like a kid in a candy store. Whether it's a new holo-terminal, a high-speed pod engine - he’s always the first in line to get it. He’ll show it off to you, explaining every little detail with enthusiasm. “Look at this! It has a new feature that triples efficiency!” He gets that adorable spark in his eye, completely geeking out over the smallest improvements.

Nerd!Anakin who would love when you'd do your nails; he'd ask soon later (when you two are alone) if you could play with his hair to only feel you scratch very gently against his scalp

Nerd!Anakin who was a great whimpering mess whenever you touched him (poor guy had never felt woman's touch before);

a sharp gasp left his mouth as you touched the mushroomy tip of his member, his hips jerking towards you without thought. he was already embarrassingly close, and now your teasing was only driving him closer to the edge “please-“ he let out a pleading moan, the words barely leaving his dry mouth

"please what ani? Use your words like good boys do"

He tried to focus enough to form a coherent sentence but it was getting so hard when all his mind could focus on, was the way you made him feel “I’m close-“ he gasped out, his hips rocking frantically against your tightening fist “I’m so close baby, i need it” he let out a sobbing whimper

"can you hold it in a little?" you asked gently

he groaned at the question before nodding almost desperately “for you, anything” his glasses sliding down his nose

You only hummed, all proud of your actions. How easily you could tear him apart by your single touch. Using her free hand to move his glasses so they were a bit more comfortable on him. You increased your movements, making sure to

he could feel the heat in his abdomen tighten as your hand moved faster. he was struggling to keep himself together, not much to your surprise "oh-oh god-“ he let out a loud gasp and a groan as your thumb moved over his tip again, that little touch sending electricity up his spine “oh-fuck…” one hand digging into the couch for some kind of grip “I can’t hold it—please please please” tears of desperation and overwhelming began to prick at the corner of his eyes

Nerd!Anakin who when was nervous, draw circles and designs on the back of your hand to relax himself

Nerd!Anakin who did your own minifigure from Legos

Nerd!Anakin who always had perfectly ironed shirts

Nerd!Anakin who in general was perfectionist in everything he'd do. If he had a mess in his room, he couldn't focus normally. If just one thing was moved inches apart, it drove him wild

Nerd!Anakin who made cupcakes with his mother for you

Nerd!Anakin who's a true mommy's boy

Nerd!Anakin who teared up after you gave him his first blowjob. He felt so overstimulated when his thick member was hugged around your warm throat, your tongue working on his shaft..it was way too much for the first time, he'd gasp and ask you to slow down because if you wouldn't, you'd already have his cum dripping down your throat

Nerd!Anakin who gave you flowers - sometimes real one and sometimes he'd do them from origamy

Nerd!Anakin who has a little sketchbook where he draws schematics for future projects—droid designs, custom technology accessories, etc. He’s always thinking of new ways to improve things, and his sketches are filled with intricate details and notes.

Sometimes, he’ll show you a design he’s particularly proud of, grinning ear to ear as he explains how it works. “What do you think? Pretty sleek, huh?”

Nerd!Anakin who was a true worshipper of your body. Would press such gentle kisses all over your body as if you were a ceramic doll he was scared to break

Nerd!Anakin who's glasses got foggy everytime he made love to you, his curls sticking to his forehead and his pinky, swollen lips quivering to hold back his own orgasm

Nerd!Anakin who adored math and physics (but not as much as he adored you). And of course, he loved to help you with those subjects

Nerd!Anakin ho invited you to weekly movie marathon. With all the snacks ready and a fluffy blanket

Nerd!Anakin who adored to cuddle with you. It was something so precious for him, and whenever he had a chance, he'd just wrap his arms around your waist from behind and nuzzle to your soft neck

Nerd!Anakin who liked to play with your hair like brushing them out of your face, twirling the strand around his finger and watch intensively, as if it was the most important/gorgeous/captivating sight he had seen, how it hugged his finger so perfectly

Nerd!Anakin who had his 'sexual education' with you;

Anakin hesitantly reached out, his hand trembling as he lifted it towards your chest. He hesitates for a moment once more, not sure if he's ready to do that. He just felt so sinful watching you naked..but oh so good.. so, before the thoughts would envelope his entire mind, he gently cupped one of your round, full breasts. He instantly marveled at, not only the softeneness but the weight, the way it filled his palm, how it was so beautiful, seeing your raspberry ripple hidden thanks to his large hand made him feel so fuzzy all inside

As he squeezed the soft globe tentatively, feeling its weight sprawl all over his senses, he couldn't help but let out a low moan, his body responding to the newfound pleasure. Guilty feelings fade away, leaving him all needy for more of you. His fingertips graze over your nipple to harden it, eliciting a soft gasp from both of you. He looked up at you, his eyes filled with wonder. "I-how i-" he stuttered shyly "-what should I do now?"

"whatever you want..you can kiss it, play with it, anything you want Annie"

Anakin's eyes widen at your words. To have the whole access to your body felt more pleasurable than anything in his life. He leaned in, pressing a soft, tentative kiss to the underside of your breast. You gazed down at how his glasses pressed against your skin, making your breath hitched. He then brought his hand up to gently squeeze and caress the soft mound at your left breast, almost nuzzling to the right one. He looked back up at you, seeking approval, as if not sure if he could go any further

"go on, they're all yours" you encouraged

Anakin smiles shyly at your encouragement, feeling emboldened. He starts to kiss and lick at your breasts, alternating between the two. He gently nibbles on your nipples, sucking on them and releasing them with soft popping sounds. "Ahh... they're so soft... and t-tasty..." he mumbled the last part more quietly, as if embarrassed that he actually thought about your breasts in that way

he accidentally uses a bit too much pressure with his teeth, causing you to hiss in pain. He immediately freezes, his eyes filled with worry. "I'm so sorry... did I hurt you?" His voice soft, laced with adorable concern.

"no--its okay..just try to use a little less teeth..and relax"

Anakin nods, his expression turning gentle again. He leans back in, this time more careful, his touch feather-light. He alternates between sucking and licking, paying close attention to the way you react to his touch. "Like this?" He asks softly, his voice muffled against your skin.

"just like that" you tugged on his curls

After the moaned sentence left your mouth, Anakin felt a surge of pride. He continues his gentle ministrations, his own body growing harder with each passing moment. He looks up at you,l with his eyes hooded. "Can I... can I kiss you lower now?"

Nerd!Anakin who was scared to eat you out at first, cause it'd be his very much first pussy. But when he did, he had no idea how to do it. He used his teeth a little too much, his tongue a bit too forceful but in time he got better

Nerd!Anakin who loves space documentaries. He'll make you sit with him on the couch to watch them, enthusiastically pointing out facts you didn’t even know he knew. He’s the type to lean over and say things like, “Did you know that this system’s star is actually binary? And it formed 4.6 billion years ago?”

Nerd!Anakin who uses cheesy, nerdy pick-up lines that leave you both laughing. He’s the kind of guy who would say, “Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you’re Cu-Te.” He says it with so much confidence that you can’t help but find it endearing.

When you tease him about it, he’ll get all flustered, scratching the back of his head with that sheepish grin. “I thought it was clever..and you'd like it, maybe give me a small kiss or something.."

Nerd!Anakin who is fiercely protective of his tech projects. If someone tries to mess with them or touch his tools without asking, he’ll get all defensive. “Hey, be careful with that! I’ve been working on this for weeks.”

But when it’s you? He lets you mess with his projects all you want, even if it makes him a bit nervous. He’ll give you a dorky smile and say, “Just don’t break it, okay?” But secretly, he loves sharing his passions with you.

Nerd!Anakin who, as smart as he is with machines, is absolutely terrible in the kitchen. He’ll try to make you dinner as a sweet surprise, but something always goes wrong—he burns the food, the recipe doesn’t turn out, or the kitchen ends up looking like a disaster zone.

He’ll stand there, looking embarrassed but hopeful, holding a burnt dish with a lopsided grin. “Uh, it’s a little... crispy..”

Nerd!Anakin who leaves you small, nerdy notes;

On a sticky note on your fridge

"You’re the binary star to my existence. Without you, my orbit is off. Also, I reprogrammed the toaster. You're welcome.”

In your notebook or planner

“If I could rewrite the laws of physics, I'd bend space-time just to spend an extra 5 minutes with you.”

"The only code I can’t crack? How you make my heart race this fast.

Tucked inside your favorite book

“You're like the perfect algorithm: complex, beautiful, and always leaving me wanting to solve the equation that is you.”

On your desk after a long day

“You must have a gravity field around you, because I can't seem to stay away. P.S. Check under the desk, I might've added a small modification.”

Next to your coffee in the morning

"You must be a supernova, because you light up my entire galaxy."

Left on the keyboard of your laptop

“I may be fluent in over 6 million forms of communication, but none can express how much you mean to me. Except maybe binary: 01001001 00100000 01101100 01101111 01110110 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101.”

On a scrap of paper in your bag

“If life were an RPG, you’d be the rarest item—a perfect balance of stats, charisma, and intelligence. Also, +100 beauty.”

Tucked in between your sketchpad pages (if you're into art)

“You’re the canvas, I’m the artist... together, we create the perfect masterpiece. P.S. I’m still better at drawing starships though.”

Left in your lunchbox

“Did you know you increase productivity in starship repairs by 43% just by being near me? I’d call that a superpower.”

Taped to a little DIY gadget he made for you

“This little thing is just like you—ingenious and holds everything together. Also, try pressing the blue button for a surprise.”

Next to your favorite snack

“You’re like the perfect engineering schematic: flawless in design, and I can’t stop marveling at the details.”

In your locker

"I’d cross the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs just to see your smile."

“Did you know a day on Venus is longer than a year? Just like how waiting to see you again feels like”

TAG LIST: @kingdomhate @divineani @erosmutt @haydensprettyprincess @mistress-amidala @catnipaddictt @heartscone @haydensbbg @inneedsoffanfics @jediavengers @literally-izzy @anisluvrgirl @slutforfinnickodair @xhunnybeeex @fuckmyskywalker @gallerygourmet (I have not forgot about you now ;) )

(if you want to be removed or added then don't be shy and let me know 💋)

[girlbowser]

What exactly does "gloves is canon" mean, if you don't mind me asking?

let's just fucking get right into it.

Ultimate Rose Pt. 2: Gloves Are Canon

if you haven't seen part 1, here it is. the tldr version of it was to estabish candy rose (at the VERY least) as a liar. i also have a headcanon about ultrose putting alpha earth rose into front in candy timeline, but that doesn't really matter too much. its just kinda fun

anyway. heres the theory.

so you guys know A Threat, Sensed, right?

it's one of the hs2 bonus comics. originally patreon exclusive, but was made public for everyone during the hiatus. and i think it contains some deeply revealing information.

you may be wondering... hey, isn't that the comic where ultdirk talks to hussie about yiffy? like, its hussie's one appearance in the comic. kind of weird.

ahaha. yeah. so. about that.

let's rewind a bit. what's the contents of A Threat Sensed?

dirk wakes up after having the shit kicked out of him in pesterquest.

rose is like huh? huh wuh? but dirk gives her a thumbs up. and then he goes to sit on his computer, and type to god.

and then after that delay, he gets a reply.

etc etc etc. they talk. they chat. hussie talks about his beloved daughter yiffy. normal stuff. hey roll that last one back

let's play in this space. lets play in this space. perspective. daughter.

who's daughter is yiffy?

---

let's rewind.

when homestuck act 6 dropped, it released with one very important page.

this page.

this page, where someone with seemingly grey skin is typing on a keyboard. holy fuck, what a reveal. new troll. oh my god. this is the 13th troll

like, they have to be a troll, right? theyve got the time stuff. theyve got a symbol. theyve got shit going on with them

ah.

they were wearing gloves.

this? this is fucking huge.

in homestuck we see that shot a lot. of fingers on a keyboard. but every single time we have seen it, we have also seen at least one shot of the person typing, right?

with two exceptions. one is callie in the act 6 reveal.

and the other is andrew.

er, sorry.

"andrew."

from the patreon post on A Threat Sensed:

those are fake hands. what. what . what. what.

so

if this comic has a history of having a reveal when it comes to characters where Only Their Hands are being shown

and gloves are canon to homestuck, and have been used to precipitate this reveal

then perhaps

gloves are canon here as well.

if you'll allow me to speculate. on the gloves are canon in question.

yeah of fucking course rose is pretending to be hussie because WHO ELSE WOULD IT BE adjKFJGSKDHdskjgjkfskjgdsf

ITS ROSE!!! IT WAS ROSE THE WHOLE TIME

LETS REREAD.

"is that why you were lying on the floor" a question that Rose had because she saw his ass lying on the floor!!!!!!!

MY DAUGHTER

MY DAUGHTER YIFFANY LONGSTOCKING LALONDE HARLEY

hm purple background. anyway im sure thats fine

hm. hm. hm. psychoanalysis. hmmm. hm.

now if i was rose

if i was ultrose. and i wanted an ultimate weapon against dirk.

if i wanted to Make A Weapon Against Dirk.

what would i do.

how would i create it.

who would i hurt in the process.

anyway. this is all leading up to part 3 of this fucking nightmare roller coaster. but uh. basically. i think this one is like all but confirmed????

like...

We’ve had quite a bit of speculation on whether this is “really” Andrew. To that, I think we’d say that it doesn’t “really” matter. If you’re asking are those Andrew’s actual hands, then no, of course not. Because those hands are fake hands that are on the computer screen.

this sounds like it's telling us no, it's not "really" andrew. and to look at the hands. and we KNOW from part 1 of this theory that rose is incredibly deceitful.

the delay in "andrew"'s response could have plausibly been rose slipping away into her little hidey hole, putting on the stupid fucking gloves, and only then typing.

andrew never confirms who he is. and i'll admit, some of the lines don't sound 100% like rose. but others do. others really, really do.

i like this theory because it makes rose and dirk's rivalry on deltrius interesting. it means she has legs up on him. he thinks he's talking to hussie, but he isn't. she has plans within plans. she's got shit she's cooking.

i like it because it contextualizes yiffy, too.

hm wow it sure seems like the candy timeline isnt actually all that sealed! it sure seems like theres something in there that is a corrosive paradox! something that affects both timelines!

something

or someone!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway. yiffy is an ultdirk icbm created by rose . rose wore gloves. gloves are canon. that's my theory graaaaaaaaaahhh

part 3 coming soon :3

[ohnoitstbskyen]

Oh no. Sir I believe I'm going to need you to explain that Dragon Age 2 opinion, that is a BLAZING hot take

I really don't think it is. Although of course all of this is personal opinion, not some sort of divine proclamation on high about which video games people are allowed to prefer, so take please it in the spirit it is offered.

Origins is a worldbuilding walking tour as much about explaining its own in-universe lore and fantasy history as it is about either its characters or the actual story that is happening in the game. It's a cool world! With some great lore! But also it is built entirely around Generic Fantasy Plot Structure #1 and never particularly seems interested in innovating, or surprising the player. On top of which, a lot of its setting and lore is pretty weakly sketched and doesn't really get developed into something either visually or narratively compelling until it gets built out in later games.

And while Inquisition has some genuinely fantastic characters, everything else about the game suffers very badly from the plague of BioWare Magic™, i.e. the production was an absolute mess up until the last minute when five hundred extremely overworked and underpaid creative geniuses somehow managed to wring a functional experience out of the trainwreck. It was made with fucking Frostbite of all things, jesus christ, it's holding together with spit and duct tape.

Now, Dragon Age 2 shares a bunch of the problems of Origins and Inquisition. It too bears the hallmarks of "our executives couldn't plan a healthy game production cycle if their lives depended on it" with a lot of unfinished content, half-assed sidequests and a truly frustrating over-reliance on a combat system that isn't half as engaging to use as it needed to be.

But Dragon Age 2 also has something neither of its siblings could ever even hope to match: an actual compelling protagonist.

Like, listen, I know people adore their headcanons about their Wardens and Inquisitors, and it has made for some truly amazing fanworks, but Hawke is literally the only actual character out of all of them. Hawke has conflicts, problems, needs and drives that actually inform and push the story forward, they have a family and a history and a reason to give a sh** about the central conflict of the narrative.

In Origins and Inquisition both, your character becomes the main character of the story entirely because of fate and random chance. You are the Chosen One and you are the only one who can Save The World because you're the last of the super special elite fantasy Hero Squad, or because you got some green magic stuck in your hand by being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Because the character is a complete blank slate onto which the player is expected to project themselves, random chance and circumstance are the only tools the plot can use to position them as main characters. There is no character to drive them to it.

In Dragon Age 2, Hawke becomes the champion because they're trying to build a new life for their family in Kirkwall, and end up embroiled in the chaos and politics that befall the city as a natural consequence of living in it and dealing with the conditions of it. Hawke and their family's needs and wants drive their actions, and push them to engage in endeavors that influence the course of history. They have agency (in the conceit of the narrative, at least) over how their life turns out, they make choices that have consequences, rather than being dictated into the position of Main Character by a literal looming apocalypse that permits no other course of action.

And I'm not about to sit here and claim that Dragon Age 2's story is perfect or that every character is a masterpiece or that every plotline is amazing. No, there's plenty of scuff and jank and things that have aged poorly and unresolved plot threads and all the rest of it.

And I am definitely not forgetting the godsdamned DLC where BioWare threw it all overboard by inventing a Special Bloodline Plot where oops it turns out Hawke actually IS a special chosen one specially chosen by a special fate to have a special role in Saving The World because they're special because of fate and destiny and blah blah, I still think that was phenomenally stupid (especially when Corypheus wasn't even Hawke's goddamn main villain to deal with what was any of this supposed to add to their character ffs BioWare)

But even with all its problems, the simple fact that Hawke is a character you can give a shit about independent of your own projection as a player - the fact that Hawke isn't just an empty bland blank slate with no personality, no traits, no wants or needs or drives - that has made Dragon Age 2 infinitely more memorable to me than either Origins and Inquisition. I think about it to this day. I think about Hawke to this day. I care about what happens to the character in a way that I just simply could never bring myself to do with either my Wardens or my Inquisitors.

[thatdeadaquarius]

it's almost 4am i can't get this out of my head holy shit.

reader whose original body is a literal eldritch forest deity and speaks in hymns (bonus points: after we isekai into said og body, we mix slang into it).

the acolytes have to break their fucking necks just to talk to you eye-to-eye, and the only thing they can make out of what you say is something equal to tablets bajillion years old already.

or that reader is constantly cussing and the acolytes just nod along not understanding whatever this 15ft tall eldritch horror is saying.

-🫀

ELDRITCH HORROR READER. I LIVEEE, NONE OF U UNDERSTAND, THIS IS SO DEEPLY AHHHHHH

I LITERALLY JUST SHIMMY STIM IN MY SEAT WHEN I THINK ABT THIS TOO LONG LMAO

i LIVE AND BREATHE for when we look like eldritch horrors but are just people lmao

IF I HAVEN’T RUN U OFF, 🫀 MY HEART, MI CORAZON <3

U HAVE A BEAUTIFUL MIND DESPITE BEING A BLOODY HEART

☆

Sun: Gender Neutral Reader (they/them only), Eldritch!Reader

Planet: Misc. Genshin AUs

Orbit: some headcanons, tiny scenario

Stars: a little bit of Zhongli, Xiao, Ganyu, Ningguang, Keqing, and the adepti

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: Light Description of Body Modifications/Body Horror-esque, Light Description of Eldritch Horror Creature, Reader has a Non-Human Body,

& Trigger Warnings: Eldritch Monster, Light Body Horror, Non-Con Body Modifications (Wake up as a monster, described as positive).

FUCKING LOVE THIS GIF, AND THIS SONG AND ARTISTTT

hey so here’s a song to listen I was listening to while writing this, chose the instrumental bc it was less distracting!

👉👈 hope u like :)

you just come into Teyvat from either Enkanomiya, the straight up Abyss/Dark Realm or even Celestia/Light Realmunder that glowing mushrooms tree in the Chasm, or like, ooo even by the upside down Barbatos statue 👀

and its great bc ur like- “omg Teyvat ooooo, ahhhh”

meanwhile the animals/magical creatures/beings nearby like shakin in their boots

literally no matter what land type their in, water, air, etc. they’re all bowing (despite the hooves, the paws, the flippers, the wings,) hell, even the bugs?? Might be bowing???

and you were slow to wake up wherever you were, so it took you a second to really process-

plus it just felt so weirdly, natural?

Not like walking on 2 legs no, but more like, how swimming feels but without the act of doing it?

you realize you’re… hovering.

wow, guess you can do that now,

your pretty much crowned with every flower from the regions of Teyvat, and a few from other Realms like Celestia, Abyss, and Enkanomiya, etc.

you have extra limbs, you feel them shift like you’ve had them all your life, even tho you do smack urself a few times with them lmao (new hand-eye coordination is hard)

and you realize u can see elemental traces/elements of beings, even plants, all the time now?

It isn’t until you look into a pretty still pond that you see what you look like,

you’ve got more eyes

I mean u thought you’d just be one of the twins, or ur own person if somebody asked u what youd look like isekaied to Genshin Impact, not what looks like the elemental god of the fucking continent

but you don’t look bad! actually you think you look kinda neat!

You’ve got like this coat of many draping vines and plantlife, glowing coral poking out near the top that’s around your throat, and- is that- tiny waterfalls?? Running down your nature cape too??

the many gemstones and ore of this planet form your legs, strong and taller than even regular human guys back on Earth, you’re like what? Eight? Nine feet? (about 245cm, or 2.5 meters)

You’re head… it’s like a dragons skull?? You’ve got these black horns flowing out from the top too that fade to a golden glow, like a crown nearly, theyre draped with what looks like strings of primogems??

oh and your extra eyes are symmetrical that’s good!

tho it does seem like you got this handy hood included into your cape of much nature to flop onto your head

where your heart should be, there’s two bursting stars circling one another, one of pink, purples and light blues, the other of gold and blue, oh hey, the wishing stars for standard and character banners!

and if you like mushrooms, at least one of every kind in Teyvat’s countries/regions is looking cool on ur cape, and if you like bugs, the cool ones like the rhino beetles from inazuma are being cute little buddies on ur stuff too

and like in the gif, every step you take overfills with life, except it stays and doesn’t wither like above, and it also does that glow bit that some places in Sumeru do/Enkanomiya

You CANNOT be missed no matter where you walk, and your sort of constantly feeling like you’ve drank 3 energy + 5 espresso shots of coffee

but in a way that makes you sort of full? like full on life… and like you could be even bigger, and taller, if you willed it

♤

k but the adepti felt ur presence coming in hot from literal mountains away

Cloud Retainter, and Guizhong, had set up inventions long ago to sense the Original of Teyvat, just in case, because some signs of prophecy of your return had begun to show in their lands

Zhongli especially knew you were close to come after another major sign was met, the corruption after the Archon War, and the ravaging of the land by the fall of Khaenri’ah’s “metal beasts”

So when you finally walk your way into Jueyun Karst, the adepti are already waiting, Xiao, Ganyu, and Zhongli as well,

Luckily Ganyu, with Zhongli’s help or advice, convinced the adepti to share this meeting with the Qixing as well like Keqing, and the Tianquan herself

It was a momentous occasion after all, but you were just now feeling the need to maybe nap a little after nearly, what was it, 2 weeks worth of constant walking?

wow this new body had literal stamina for days

you arrived late into the night, around midnight, under a full moon, and they’re relieved all the signs are being met

◇

honestly the only reason you headed to Liyue was bc you knew it was the closest (the map of Teyvat was both familiar in the way it had been in game, but also on a deeper level, like walking around your house in the dark)

and u rlly wanted to be able to talk to somebody, bc u had no idea?? wtf you were??

honestly you thought the adepti/Zhongli would be a good bet bc they’d maybe tell u what creature u ended up as,

u did suspect maybe you’d ended up as some kind of god, but like?? none of the other gods looked like this???

and u see them all! up ahead in Jueyun Karst! Oh no! You really, really, really, hope they don’t think you’re a walking talking evil tree dragon thing-

…maybe you should wave?

◇

As you get closer,

Xiao’s back straigtens, Ganyu nervously looks at the ground, Keqing is trying to figure out where to look bc ur so tall, Ningguang has her hands respectfully folded in front of her and her facial muscles looks tensed for a fight almost, the adepti are shuffling nervously bc they’re not used to being the magically weaker/younger creatures in the area, and Zhongli-

Zhongli is no longer the mortal Zhongli.

Amber horns curl up from his head, long brunette hair with glowing gold tips flowing and loose, claws on display, as he stands in his finest and oldest l��ng páo, black with gold detailing embroidered throughout, it details his deeds as Rex Lapis and Morax, the spears of his vanquishing gods across the front and back, he looks like a living painting

and although he looks as serene as if he’s about to sit down for some tea, the adepti can see the tremoring hands, the same he used to hide in his sleeves when he was genuinely intimidated by another god, usually the older ones he’d had to fight

but for the first time since the archon war, this was one he was going to welcome with open arms, and utmost respect, despite his position as archon forfeited

there’s a strange music in the air of the night as the animals and the bugs and creatures of the realm subtly make the beat, the god’s feet (of ore Rex Lapis hasn’t seen since he was a child, it was so rare to find) shake the earth of his land with each step, a deep quiet booming like a drum of war as they get closer

The God of All stops some distance away from them

…and the Huangdi of All, just waves. 💀👋

at Zhongli, the adepti, Xiao, the Tianquan, and the Qixing.

A long black limb with a rainbow shine like a crow’s wing raises, gives an ironically tiny wave of their clawed black hand,

and tilts their head, though a sort of greenery hood covering it

and speaks,

“ ˙˙˙ʎzɐɹɔ sı ʇıɥs sıɥʇ ¿ʍou ʇɥƃıɹ ɯɐ ı ʞɔnɟ ǝɥʇ ʇɐɥʍ ʍouʞ sʎnƃ noʎ op uɯɐp”

your voice is like singing, deep, high, like a choir trying to sing all at once to them

Xiao cringes a little in surprise, he was braced for your older speech just in case but it still caught him off guard, and unfortunatly, he gives a quick glance to Lord Rex Lapis,

he can’t understand any of that, and Ganyu and Keqing are in the same boat, but while the Yaksha’s only done passive studying in hopes of understanding you, the Lord of Geo had gone much further back in trying to make sure he could understand your words, should the day come, his library, even now living as a mortal, is extensive

the other adepti and Ningguang catch a few words, but it’s too,, simple really, to understand

the words have no context, they need more, but such is the ancients, they’re meanings simple and all-encompassing

Lord Rex Lapis bows deeply,

“We welcome you with open arms, our Huangdi. Please, feast your eyes upon the land with which I have wrought with mine own talons, for all is ever truly yours.”

the adepti announces for them all, voice giving away no nerves, Xiao can still understand him luckily, though he has greatly simplified himself for the sake of being understood by the ancient god of creation,

“ ˙˙˙ʞɔıʇs ɐ uo ʇsıɹɥɔ snsǝɾ ¡¿ılƃuoɥz noʎ uǝʌǝ ¿noʎ oʇ poƃ ɟo puıʞ ǝɯos ɯ,ı 'ǝʇnuıɯ uɯɐp ɐ ʇıɐʍ”

your voice is an energy through the air, and makes the trees nearby lean in to hear you better, the creeks and ponds of the area leave their beds a little to get closer, geo crystalflys emerge and begin to swirl around your natural body, perching on your horns, making it look even more like a crown

Xiao gulps.

Rex Lapis’ and Ningguang’s spines straighten further if they even can from the impeccable posture they were before, They share a quick glance…

…neither of them caught that one, only a few words, and Ganyu feels her shoulders drop as she gives up trying to hear you and understand as well,

you make a strange sound, a high humming, a deep confusion with some worry, the crystalflys buzz around you a little faster,

then point to yourself

...and make a peace sign. ✌️

it was going to be a long night.

☆

idk if this made any sense, and I sincerely hope that you at least liked what I wrote a little bit, sorry about the over description 😭 I just felt like it was very important but then I realized I hadn’t even talked about the language yet… anyway here u go LMAO

I hope it was alright, and I seriously love your idea, even if I didn’t take it in the direction you wanted/as cool as you meant!! :/

Thanks for the badass idea, i fucking love eldritch shit <3

☆

Safe Travels,

💀 ♒

♡my beloved♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk

[quicktosimp]

Little Teeth

Warnings: Birthing, Jake being a slight perv, and excessive use of the word "fuck", otherwise it's pure fluff

Words: 9k

A/N: Finally got around to finsihing this fic! I have had so much fun writing this. Thank you so much @loaksxhoe, for giving us your headcanons on @pandoraslxna, when you were still an anon. I love you so much Roomie 😘

Jake and Neytiri didn’t take long to have a baby, and then right after Neytiri fell pregnant, we found that Grace’s avatar had also become pregnant. No one knows how, but what we do know is that two little babies will be born soon. Jake and Neytiri had already agreed to take in Grace’s baby, and as their third mate, I will be right there with them, helping along the way with two little ones. The firstborn was little Neteyam, a boy, followed quickly by Grace’s baby, a little girl named Kiri. Life with two infants is exhausting in all the best ways. Even though every moment is spent with one of the two little ones, it couldn’t be more perfect.

And then Neytiri announced she was pregnant. I made plenty of jokes about na’vi contraceptives, but I was elated about there being a new member of our family soon. Now, with a third on the way, things have been put into overdrive. Thankfully, with preparing for the first two, we didn’t need much more, but by Eywa’s grace, would Neytiri please slow down! She’s seven months pregnant, Neteyam strapped to her back, and is bow fishing! I demanded her to either sit down or hand me Neteyam…

“Neytiri love, you are heavily pregnant and carrying Neteyam; please let me take some of the load for you!”

Without seeing her face, I know she’s giving me that glare full of fondness, “I am well aware that I am pregnant, but that does not stop my duties.” she draws her bow, and the beautiful yellow and green feathers fan her cheek.

Rolling my eyes, “Oh wow, I didn’t remember seeing any of the other pregnant women hunting or fishing. I also don’t remember seeing anyone hunting or fishing with their babies strapped to their backs at all. Maybe I’m just blind.” I walk up, and Neteyam notices me. I started to play with the little foot that I could reach, “Let me take Neteyam, and you can have your fun fishing to your heart's content.” I bargain, Neteyam’s little giggles doing wonders for my case. 

With a sigh, Neytiri slowly drops her bow and slides Neteyam off her back. I grab him and cradle him to my chest. His big eyes stare up at me with glee.

“Hello, little mister,” I coo as Neteyam babbles happily, “Have you had fun fishing with Sa’nu?” I asked him, knowing he didn’t understand. But enjoying the attention, he continues to babble excitedly and squeal, communicating with me in a language only he understands. His bright green eyes stare into mine with the love and devotion only a child can hold.

A large hand cups my face, and Neytiri gently leads me to look at her, “You are perfect with our kids, and every day, I fall more and more in love with you,” She lays a gentle kiss on my lips.

I smile into our kiss, bringing our lips to meet again until a tiny hand smacked at my face. I looked at Neteyam; he was disgruntled, like I had ruined his little baby life. 

“It seems our ‘Itan is jealous. He doesn’t like Sa’nu taking all of his Mama’s attention,” Neytiri cooed at our son.

“Ma!” 

Neytiri and I turned our heads to look at Neteyam, surprised and joyful.

“Did he just?” I cut myself off.

“Yes, he did, Syulang. See if he’ll do it again!” She exclaimed, her hand covering her smile.

I look at Neteyam excitedly, “Neteyam, are you saying Mama? Mama!” I emphasized to him.

“Ma! Ma! Ma-ma!” His little fists raised in the air as he chants my name.

“Oh my goodness!” I squeal as tears prick at my eyes, excited to hear and be his first word. I kiss his cheek repeatedly, causing him to erupt in giggles.

“Oh my ‘Itan, you have always been a Sa’nu’s boy, yet you say Mama first,” Neytiri teases him, rubbing her nose against his cheek. 

Happy that the attention is back on him, he throws his head back in giggles as he claps his hands.

“I can’t believe it! Neteyam’s first word!” I gush over him.

“He is blessed,” Neytiri muttered, holding the two of us.

A thought suddenly hit me, “Jake’s going to be so upset. He missed Kiri crawling for the first time, too.”

“Ba, I told our Skxawng that she was going to start moving soon, yet he still went on that hunting trip,” She exclaims, rolling her eyes.

“Still, I feel kinda bad,” I worry, continuing to kiss Neteyam’s cheek, not wanting him to be upset after such a big thing.

“Jake will just have to work harder with this one.” Neytiri rubs her taunt stomach. 

“I cannot wait for this little one to join us,” I bring my hand to her stomach, feeling the little one inside.

Looking at the two of us, Neteyam lays his chubby hand on Neytiri’s stomach, “Your tsmukan prrnen is in there,” I explain softly.

Neteyam softly coos as he holds his hand on his Sa’nu’s belly. Suddenly, Neteyam yanks his hand back before angrily babbling, scawolling at her stomach. 

I looked at Neteyam questioningly as Neytiri laughed, “Our youngest just kicked Neteyam’s hand.”

I can’t stop myself from laughing as well, seeing Neteyam scold his unborn brother, unknown babbles and grizzles leaving him, making him sound like an angry bee. 

“Alright, my little buzzing bee, it’s time for us to go home,” I comment to Neteyam, caressing his cheek bringing his attention back to me, “Enjoy your fishing, my love,” I lay a kiss on Neytiri’s lips.

“Thank you, Yawne, you two enjoy your day,” With that, we go our separate ways.

The walk back to the village was long, as Neytiri likes to fish in more remote areas, but Neteyam and I enjoyed our stroll. I showed him many different plants and rocks. If they were safe, then I’d put them in his little hands as he learns to move them properly. Feel the texture in his hands and mouth as he learns.

Nearing the village, I hear the sound of pa’li and their riders nearby, “Do you hear that, Neteyam? Those are pa’li and their riders. The riders are brave warriors who protect the clan,” I explain diligently. 

Neteyam’s ears flicker, his eyes shifting between me and the sounds he hears. Soon, the pa’li riders show themselves, led by Tsu’tey.

“Oel ngati kameie, Tsu’tey,” I greet friendly, doing the movement the best I could with a squirming Neteyam.

Tsu’tey returns the gesture, “Oel ngati kameie, (Y/N), Neteyam,” Tsu’tey turns his attention to the wiggling baby, “He seems active today,” A grin shows on his face.

“I think he woke up from his nap just in time to see me. Gives his Sa’nu peace and quiet, leaving his Mama with a wiggle butt,” I joke.

Neteyam turns his head to me, “Ma! Ma ma ma-ma.” He babbles on.

“Well, he wasn’t doing that yesterday,” Tsu’tey commented, “Does Neytiri and Jake know that you’re Neteyam’s favorite?” He teases.

“I don’t know if I’m his favorite. It’s just easier for babies to use an ‘M’ sound than the ‘S.’” I shrug off, “But yes, Neytiri was there to hear his words. Unfortunately, I have not yet seen Jake today,” I explain.

Tsu’tey slowly shakes his head, “I swear those two wait for Jake to leave before doing something,” 

I laugh at his reasoning, “Neteyam, I believe it is bad timing. Kiri, on the other hand, I see the look in that girl's eyes. She’s doing it on purpose.” I laugh joyfully.

“Is that why Jake takes her with him everywhere? Now, Jake has always been good at caring for the babies, but I feel like I haven't seen him without Kiri attached to his chest for the past two months.” Tsu’tey asks, picking fun of my mate.

“I believe so. Jake had Kiri for 48 hours straight, with plenty of playtime and cuddling. Now Jake had Kiri on her back, playing with her. The moment that he went to go to the bathroom, she rolled herself over and started crawling!” I exclaimed, telling my favorite story.

“No wonder my brother refuses to let go of her! But now he may do the same with this little one,” Tsu’tey comments, laughing at my mate's plight.

“What will he do when our third is born? He can’t carry them all,” I enjoy the mental image that gives me,

“He will try, that is for sure,” Tsu’tey grins as he looks around, “Where is Neytiri? Surely you are not by yourself?” The grin slowly faded from his face.

“Neytiri is restless. She is bow fishing down by her favorite creak.” I shrug.

“She should still not leave you alone. The animals have been restless lately.” He pursed his lips, “Come here and hop on. I will bring you back to the village.” 

I thought to argue, but I was already tired from the walk, and Neteyam was getting restless, “Thank you, Tsu’tey,” I walked towards him, and he easily picked the two of us up, settling us in front of him.

“Of course, I am glad to be of help,” He responds before he urges his pa’li onward at a slow pace.

Neteyam, interested in the pa’li, reached out and patted the fin atop its head, “Yes, Neteyam, this is a pa’li, Tsu’tey’s pa’li. Tsu’tey is your uncle,” I ramble on to Neteyam.

“Uncle? I am not familiar with that word.” Tsu’tey inquired.

“It is an English word, an honorific; it is what children call the brother of their parents. I explain to him.

“And you are teaching Neteyam to call me that?” His tail swished joyfully.

“Yes, you were a brother to Neytiri first, growing up alongside her. Then you became a brother to Jake and me. We all proved ourselves during the war. You are our brother, and we agreed we like the name and want you to be called that by our kids,” I offered.

“This is a great honor, thank you,” Tsu’tey reaches around, placing a hand on Neteyam’s head.

“It is an honor for us to have you as a brother. I am always thankful to call you brother, and I am honored for my children to grow up with you around.” I explain heartfully.

“I promise to always live up to that name,” He responds dutifully.

“I know you will, Brother,” Looking back, I smile at him.

The rest of the ride back to the village was filled with idle chatter, Neteyam babbling along with us, believing he was adding to the conversation. Tsu’tey and I indulged him; every time he babbled, we would respond to him with wows or agreements, encouraging him to babble more.

Tsu’tey brought us to the village entrance before helping us down, “You two enjoy your day. I will be back later, hopefully with one of your run-away mates,” He explains, turning his pa’li around.

I give a small laugh at his choice of words, “Thank you, Tsu’tey; however, I will enjoy my time with Neteyam. It has been a while since he has had one one-on-one with his Mama,” I explain cheekily. 

“Got it. I will not look for them too hard,” He agrees, matching my grin. 

“Stay safe, Tsu’tey.” I nod before heading to my kelku.

Being mated to the Olo’eyktan meant our kelku was in the center of the village. It was also larger than the average, but that is fine as we will have three kids in under a year. It was decorated with beautiful tapestries, woven garments, and pillows. It had taken some convincing with Neytiri, but she ended up loving the pillows and the many uses they have, especially the one made to wrap around her front, helping hold the babies and letting her rest her arms.

Looking down, I hear Neteyam grizzling, with it being time for a feed and a nap. 

“I know Teyam, Mama’s going,” I soothe, preparing his bottle, another human invention I had to convince Neytiri of. 

Warming his milk, I check it on my wrist before pouring it into his bottle. I walk over to the pillows, situating myself and Neteyam as his whines increase in volume, “Shh, lovey, I got it right here,” I coo, placing the tip in his mouth. 

Neteyam eagerly latches on, suckling the milk into his mouth and swallowing greedily. He rests his arms on his stomach as his eyes grow heavy. I rest Neteyam on a pillow, angling him towards me, as I use my now free hand to rub over his head. He continues to suck at his bottle like it’s his last meal until it’s finished. Sitting him up, I hold him under his chin before patting his back gently, forcing the trapped wind out. After the wind came up, I brought him back to my chest, cradling him close to me as he readied himself for a nap. Smoothing his hair and running a finger over his face, Neteyam’s eyes droop further as sleep calls him. I chuckle softly as I watch him drift to sleep. With nothing else to do, I sit there watching his beautiful face as he rests peacefully, his chest rising and falling with every breath. I can’t help but reflect on everything that brought me here, and despite the losses, I wouldn’t trade this moment for the world. Knowing that I will be here for a while, I grab my last weaving project, another sling, as we’ll need it with the new little one, as they’ll be here any day.

Jake named Neteyam, wanting to honor Neytiri’s side of the family, and with Neteyam being a mini Neytiri, it worked perfectly. Neytiri named Kiri, naming her after her biological mother. I am unsure of who will name the newest one, but thoughts have circled in my head. One particular name stays around, refusing to leave.

“Darling, why must you look at me like that?” I hear Jake as he enters our kelku.

I turn to see him wearing the Olo’eyktan ornaments, with Kiri strapped to his chest, staring at her father without blinking.

“Please, baby girl, just blink,” Jake’s voice turns to pleading.

I laugh quietly at Jake losing a fight with his infant daughter, grabbing his attention.

“Hey, Sweetheart, how has your day been?” Jake asks, lowering his voice when he notices Neteyam sleeping.

I smile at him, bemused, as Kiri has yet to blink, “It’s been good. Got some time with Neteyam, saw Tsu’tey, now what is this about Kiri and not blinking?” I ask, giggling softly.

A groan escaped Jake, “I swear to you, she hasn’t blinked in over five minutes. She just stares at me blankly.” Truth be told, I still haven’t seen Kiri blink yet.

I have to restrain myself from laughing, “Gosh, I love that girl,”

“You say that like she hasn’t been purposely tormenting me,” Jake exaggerated.

“While that may be true, you did miss something important today.” I tease him.

Curiously, Jake’s face furrows as he smiles hesitantly, “And what did I miss?”

“Well, you see, I went to go and force Neytiri to chill out because I found her bow fishing with Neteyam again. After convincing her to hand over to Neteyam, she gave me a quick parting kiss.” I pause for dramatic effect, “Now Neteyam didn’t like that the attention was off of him, and Neytiri pointed out that he didn’t like that his Sa’nu and Mama were getting more attention than him. Apparently, Neteyam needed to get his point across, and he did that by saying ‘Mama,’” I grin triumphantly. 

“Neteyam, Neteyam said his first word? He said, Mama!” Jake’s ears and tail flickered in glee as he fought to keep his voice down. “I can’t believe it!” Jake paused briefly, his tail drooping, “I can’t believe I missed it!” Realizing he missed another milestone. 

I chuckle at his actions; poor Jake kept missing things, “Well, if you want to switch, maybe Neteyam will speak for you when he wakes, and our little miss will finally blink.” I reach my free arm out.

Grumbling, he unwraps Kiri from her sling, and we switch babies; Neteyam snuffles a little before settling in Jake’s arms, while Kiri finally blinks, realizing that she’s with her Mama a gummy smile stretched over her face, two little white spots on top of her gums.

I laugh, realizing that Jake missed something else, “Jake, my love,” I look at him, grinning.

He looks at me, concerned, “What is it this time?” 

“Our daughter has two teeth coming in,” I grin triumphantly.

“What? No way!” He rushes over the best he can with a sleeping Neteyam.

I turn Kiri around, moving her top lip to show the two white spots, “Looks like her fangs are coming in first. Is that normal for na’vi?” I ask while feeling the spots, seeing how far along they are.

“I don’t even know what human baby teeth come in first, let alone na’vi,” He admitted sheepishly.

“I’ll have to ask Neytiri or Mo’at, depending on how long Neytiri decides to stay out. Kiri’s teeth are coming along.” I mention.

Jake feels Kiri’s gums, much to her ire, “I’d probably do it sooner than later. Those teeth aren’t waiting for anyone,” He explains, removing his finger as Kiri goes to chomp down.

I laugh as Jake looks at our daughter fearfully, “Alright, scaredy cat,” I sit up and move towards the door.

I struggle to put on the sling for Kiri, but after successfully trying it, I wave back at Jake before heading back out.

The healing tent, thankfully, isn’t far from our marui, a brisk walk. The longest part of it was when I stopped digging up a plant for Kiri to hold. The plant seemed to react to her presence, but that was a topic for another day.

The healing tent isn't really a tent. It’s underground, beneath the roots of a tree, giving a warm and cozy vibe when you walk in, bringing warmth and peace as the scents of herbs and tinctures brush my nose. Mo’at stands in the middle of the undergrowth, grinding petals into her mortar. 

“Oel ngati kameie, Mo’at,” I call out respectfully. 

Her head swivels to look at me. A soft smile brushes her face as she spots Kiri and I, “Oel ngati kameie. I trust that you two are alright?” She asks, eyeing us for injuries.

“We are fine. Just came to show you Kiri’s new teeth,” I return her smile.

Mo’at’s ears and tail flickered in joy as her face lit up, “Bring her here! I must see,” She quickly abandons her work.

Laughing, I untangle the sling, happily handing over Kiri to her grandmother. Mo’at eagerly took her granddaughter, placing a finger inside Kiri’s mouth, feeling at the emerging teeth. 

“Two little fangs; it seems they’re coming in just fine!” She spoke excitedly, her voice soft to not bother Kiri.

“Jake and I  were wondering, is it normal for na’vi babies' fangs to come in first?” I ask, seeing that Mo’at is happy with the progress.

Removing her finger from Kiri’s mouth, she explains, “Hmm, yes, one or two top fangs come in at a time, then the bottom ones. After that, the front teeth fill in.”

I nod my head, happy with her words, “That’s a little different than what I am used to, but I am glad that everything is normal.”

“Is that not how humans work?” She asks curiously.

“Actually-”

“Sa’nok! Do you know where Jake and (Y/N) are?” I hear Neytiri call.

“I am here, Love!” I called back to her.

“What is the matter ‘Ite?” Mo’at answers as Neytiri comes into sight, Tsu’tey at her side.

“I am in labor; our newest one is early,” She explains calmly as she shuffles her way into the healing tent.

Looking at Tsu’tey, I grab Kiri from Mo’at and hand her to him, “Ready?” I ask him.

“I have been waiting. We knew the day would be soon.” Tsu’tey accepts Kiri from me.

“Jake is at our kelku with Neteyam. If you could, please send him our way, that would be amazing,” I comment as I go through the mental birthing plan. 

“Do not worry. I will send Jake your way and care for the little ones,” He calmly states, noticing my incoming panic. 

“Thank you, Tsu’tey,” I give one last kiss to Kiri’s cheek before turning and joining Neytiri and Mo’at further into the tree roots. 

The deeper underground is only illuminated by the surrounding plants. As I walked down, it became warmer as steam poured upward, and the healing pools were heated, creating the perfect place for birthing. The area brings a natural peace, helping calm me.

Neytiri was already resting in a pool, her garments folded neatly off to the side, as she relaxed with her mother next to her. I sit next to the pool, grabbing Neytiri’s hand and placing it on my face.

“Are you calm now, ‘Ite?” Mo’at asks me.

Sighing, I reply, “Much better now. I’m sorry for panicking,” I mutter to Neytiri.

She laughs softly at me, “Jake was much worse when Neteyam was born. I thought he was going to pass out on me,” Her large thumb caresses my face.

“In our defense, human births are an ordeal. Sometimes it takes several days, and surgery is still needed to remove the baby,” I mumble, eased as I remember na’vi births are relatively simple.

“Several days? That seems excessive,” Mo’at questioned.

“Human births are not easy. It's excruciating. I know my mother was in labor with me for 29 hours before the doctor agreed to remove me surgically.” I explain, grimacing.

“Surgically?” Mo’at mutter aghast.

“Yes, my mother didn’t dilate enough for me to pass through, so instead, they cut open through several layers of flesh and into the womb to remove me.”  I wince at the idea, “The only other option would be to attempt to force me out, which would have either gotten me stuck, most likely killing both of us or my mother would have torn, causing her to bleed out.”

The two women looked at me fearfully, unable to process what I explained to them.

“And this is common for humans?” Mo’at asked softly, slightly pale.

“Yeah, around 1 million births a year are c-sections,” I struggled to remember the average number.

“Would you be at risk for those?” Neytiri asked concernedly.

I look at her earnestly, “Oh, definitely, that’s why Jake and I are so careful because a na’vi baby would be so large that I would be on bed rest from about the 4th month and would need a c-section. Although we do have several human doctors who can perform the surgery, it’s really just the pregnancy that has us concerned.” 

Neytiri goes to speak, but a wince cuts her off. I look down and notice her slit is swollen, symbolizing that her cervix is moving forward slowly. I place my hand into the water, gently rubbing at the side of her slit, trying to help ease the tension building there.

“After hearing that, this seems easy,” She groans.

“Hey, don’t play down your pain. Your body is literally rearranging itself for birth; you get to complain, groan, and moan, and I will personally help you if you threaten Jake, and Jake will as well.” I scold her gently but firmly.

“Threaten? Is that normal for human births? Neytiri’s giggles were infectious.

“Yeah, just the standard things though, ‘You’re never touching me again!’, ‘I’m cutting off your balls and feeding them to the dog!’ you know the normal things.” I comment, remembering some of the things I had heard before.

Mo’at and Neytiri burst into laughter, their giggles echoing to the top of the healing pod.

Jake walked into the birthing room smiling, “It seems I’m missing out.”

“Oh, you know, just threatening humankind by castrating men,” I smile sweetly.

Jake winces, pushing his legs together at the thought, “Babe, I don’t have those anymore, and that’s still terrifying.”

“I still find it odd that human sex are outside the body, males in particular. It literally sways as they move,” Neytiri muses, furrowing her brow.

My head tilts back in laughter, amused by her disgust, “Love, I was terrified when Jake showed me his slit and a giant dick covered in spikes came out! Human genitals are tame compared.”

I quickly shut my mouth, remembering that Mo’at was in the room. I sent her an apologetic look, apologizing for my language. She merely chuckles, shaking her head.

“Now that your mates are here, I will go upstairs. I’ll come back after you are finished together.” With that, she left up the stairs.

Jake takes her spot, kneeling on the other side of the pool, his hand rubbing at Neytiri’s neck, easing her muscles, “How are you feeling?”

“Sore and uncomfortable, this one is ready to leave,” She mutters, and I can feel her inner muscles contracting and moving around.

“I can feel it. Baby wants out now,” I chuckle lightly, realizing something, “All of our kids are eager today: Neteyam’s first word, Kiri’s first teeth, and now baby three is rushing their own birth.”

Neytiri’s face lit up, “Kiri has a fang now?” She asked excitedly.

“Two little teeth are pushing through, two little white spots on her gums,” Jake explains, cupping warm water and trailing it over her shoulders.

“Ahhh, I can not wait to see them,” Her face is aglow.

“And despite Jake having her all day, he still managed to miss them. I spotted her teeth,” I giggle at Jake’s luck.

“Ma Jake, what is with our children and avoiding you,” Neytiri’s laugh brought joy to us as we successfully distracted her.

“I held her all day! There is no way I could have missed that!” Jake whines.

“You also held a staring contest with her and lost,” I pointed out.

“She wouldn’t blink! Five minutes!” He exclaimed.

Neytiri’s head fell back as her laughter rang through the underground. 

“Our ‘Ite will walk all over you when she is older,” Her giggles trail off.

“I can’t fight an eight-month-old baby,” Jake’s pout was evident.

Neytiri and I look at each other, smiling, knowing that our husband was thoroughly whipped for his daughter. 

“Oh!” Neytiri exclaimed.

I press around the sides of her slit, feeling the baby's head was close, “I’m going to start prepping you, Love,” I explain to her.

I wait for her nod of consent before gently rubbing at her slit. The opening is swollen from the moving blood. I press down with easy pressure, moving my fingers from top to bottom, urging her slit to open. A sharp hiss leaves Neytiri’s mouth as she grabs Jake’s hand.

“Easy, it’s okay baby, we got you,” I can hear Jake hold back a wince of his own from her firm grip on his hand.

“Is this where humans would start to threaten their male mate?” Neytiri asked through clenched teeth.

“Yes, Love, this is typically that time,” I send a knowing grin to Jake, excited to hear the explicit that will fall from her mouth. 

Jake gives me a dark look but otherwise doesn’t say anything.

“Jake! You bastard!” She starts off strong, “If I didn’t like it so much, I would cut off your dick and feed it to the Ikran’s!”

With that, I had to duck my head, hiding the smile that couldn’t stop. I focus back on my task, feeling her muscles giving in to my touch. I push a little harder, needing to break the seal that her pregnancy caused.

“Fuck you, Jake! I’m trying your dick to an Ikran and having it take flight!” Her scream was shrill as I broke the seal.

“You’re doing such a good job, Love. The seal’s broken. The worst of it is over.” I coo to her.

“By Eywa, that seal is horrible,” Neytiri mutters breathlessly, the sharp pain of the seal breaking causing her to lose her breath.

Now that her slit is open, I can see the fluid from her womb flow out, tainting the pool in a soft blue glow. I dip my fingers inside, feeling for the baby’s head. Their crown was near but not properly aligned yet. 

“Almost there, Love. Just a couple more minutes, and we can get them out,” I explain softly, my fingers never leaving the baby’s head.

Neytiri chuckles through her groans, “This one is eager, a week early, and not even an hour in labor.”

“Neteyam was average, right? Three hours?” He questions.

I look up at Neytiri’s face, wondering what the answer is, “Yes, three to four hours is average. And I now know why. I can feel this one moving my organs at their whim.” She hisses as the baby moves again.

Their fuzzy head is beneath my fingertips as their crown aligns some more. I shot Jake a pointed look, so I could continue to ease the rest of her slit open. 

“So what are the names we had listed?” He asked lamely.

“Well, for a girl, we all agreed on Mi’niri or Tuktirey,” Neytiri reminded him.

“If she’s named Tuktirey, the kids may have a hard time with her name until they are older,” I warned as I used the warm water to gently ease away the remains of the seal.

“Mhm,” She groaned as more the seal was parted, “I don’t think any of us agreed on a boy name,” Wincing as more of her slit parted.

Noticing that the baby was trying to push itself out early, I placed a bit of pressure on their head, needing to open Neytiri’s slit fully; otherwise, it could hurt both Neytiri and the baby.

“Jake, this is 100% your child,” I mutter, trying to hurry but not wanting to hurt Neytiri anymore.

Sputtering, Jake managed out, “What did I do?”

“Your child likes to finish early,” I muttered blankly.

“I do not finish early!” Jake protested.

“Then why do I always make our, Paskalin cum?” Neytiri joins in.

Using Jake’s bruised ego as a distraction, I finish peeling apart the bottom of Neytiri’s slit, allowing our baby to come out.

“Ready, Tiri? Our baby is ready to come out now,” I explain to her softly, my joy barely contained.

I remove my hand from her slit; instead, I place both my hands outside and around, ready to catch our baby. Neytiri grips onto Jake’s hand, takes a deep breath, and pushes. As she strains, her slit parts wide, showing us the baby’s head.

“You’re doing so good; they’re almost here,” Jake cooed into her ear.

I look and see Neytiri struggling. I pat her hip and say, “Breathe, my love, you need to breathe.” I rub at her hip as she follows my words, “There you go, good job, just breathe,” I praise her.

I watch as her breathing regulates itself and that she’s ready to try again, “Ready, baby? They’re almost here; I can see their head. Just give me another push.” I explain softly, readying myself again.

One more breath, and she started to push, grunting as our baby’s head slowly went past her slit, letting us see their head to the top of their eyes.

“Almost there, Love!” I exclaimed as their head finally popped through, “That their head, good job, Lovie, one more push for the shoulders, and then our baby is here.” 

With that, Neytiri pushed as hard as she could, forcing the shoulders out, and the rest of our baby slid out. I grabbed the baby, bringing its face above the water as I cleaned the membrane off its face. 

Their little face scrunched up as they took their first breath before crying out their displeasure. I coo at them as I finish cleaning them off, looking for any abnormalities or injuries. As I washed them, their slit that hides their internal genitals didn’t have the strength to close and won't for many months. 

I slowly had them over to Neytiri, “Say hello to our son,” I whispered over his cries.

The three of us crowd together, our arms all coiled around each other, each touching one another and our new son. Tears were in all of our eyes as Neytiri brought our son to her teat, and his cries died off as he quickly latched on and began to drink. 

“He’s got a good appetite,” Jake softly chuckled, not wanting to startle the baby.

“He just wants his Sa’nu,” I chuckle back.

Slowly, I reach around and grab Neytiri’s kuru, bringing it forward as Jake goes for our son’s, the bare neural whip, tiny in his large hands. We both look at Neytiri, waiting for her to say something, but her eyes could leave our son's face. He was content where he was, laying snuggly against his Sa’nu, eating his first meal. 

Jake clears his throat, trying to grab her attention. Neytiri is slow to look away but eventually meets his eyes. Recognition faces through her face as she sees the kurus in our grasp.

“Please,” She whispers. 

And we obey slowly; we bring them together, the glowing strands wrapping around each other as Tsaheylu was formed. Slowly, Neytiri’s eyes closed as she relaxed into the bond, feeling everything that our son felt, the first bond being made.

Jake and I looked at each other, knowing that everything we had gone through was worth it for these moments. We slowly brought our faces together, and our lips met softly just over our baby’s head. It was sweet and passionate, full of love.

“I love you two, but do that somewhere else,” Neytiri gripped at us, her eyes remaining closed.

We part quickly, like teens caught by their parents, before we laughed quietly. I go back to finishing my job, cleaning Neytiri, and clamping the umbilical cord, severing one of the internal bonds. 

We all sat there quietly, Jake and I watching our son eat his fill, snuffling as he suckled. By the time he was finished, his little tummy was rounded full from his meal. I reached over and placed my hand on his stomach.

“Look at his tummy, Jake,” I coo, loving the feel of a newborn.

“Our little one is a good eater,” He responds, smiling, his hand rubbing at our son's head. 

“He enjoys your attentions,” Neytiri mumbles, a soft smile on her face. 

“He knows who his parents are,” Jake comments, his voice deep rumbling in a purr. 

A little squeaky sound follows, a little chirping noise that our son is making, the purr of an infant. The continued squeaking purr filled the underground, mixing with Jake’s comforting rumbles. Slowly and slightly reluctantly, Neytiri disconnects from our baby, handing him over to Jake. He grabs him and cradles our son to his chest, their purrs syncing. I grabbed Neytiri’s hand, linking our fingers together. 

We stayed down there for what seemed like hours, simply holding the baby and comforting each other. It was once again my turn with our son. He lay curled with his head resting above my heart. I smoothed a hand down his fuzzy head and down his back before doing it again, memorizing the sanhì that covers his body. This time, he was asleep, so it was quiet in the underground once again.

“Ma Yawne,” Neytiri called, “Jake and I have been discussing, and we agree it’s your turn to choose the name,” Her smile was soft as tears stung my eyes.  

“We’ve both named a child. This time, it's yours,” Jake added as he wrapped an arm around me.

“I-I never-I haven’t.” I stuttered out as tears poured out of my eyes, trailing down and dropping on my son's head.

Neytiri crawled out of the pool, sitting herself next to me. She grabbed my face and placed a gentle kiss on my lips, “You are one of us, Yawntutsyìp; you are our Syulang, never doubt that.” Her voice was full of passion as I leaned into her touch.

I have never doubted they loved me, but being the only human in this relationship comes with hardships and worries—fears of never being enough for them. But this was real and couldn’t be taken back.

Choking back my tears, I look at my son's face again, wondering which name to go with, even though I already knew the answer.

“Lo’ak,” I whispered, “His name is Lo’ak,”

“Like Lo’akur Toruk Makto Amulet, it’s perfect, Yawne,” Her voice wobbled as she held me closer.

I lean up and lay my lips on the underside of her jaw as Jake wraps himself around my other side. 

“I think it’s a perfect name,” But then he whispers quietly enough that Neytiri can’t hear, “It is Lo’ak and not LOAC, right?” 

I refused to respond to that with words. Instead, I leaned to the side and bit his ear.

“Hey! Let go. I was just asking,” Jake whined quietly, trying not to wake Lo’ak.

I continue with my hold on Jake’s ear, laughing as he attempts to get away from my teeth. 

On my other side, I can feel rumbling, Neytiri’s laughter, “Children, I’m mated to two children,” A grin overtook her face.

I quickly let go of Jake’s ear and turned to her, “You love us this way,” I smiled cheekily. 

She said nothing as she kissed my lips before doing the same to a pouting Jake.

And I know that this moment couldn’t be better.

“Ma Syulang, I will be patrolling today. Jake should be back soon, but if I see Tsu’tey, I will send him to help you,” Neytiri rambles as she places her ionar.

I picked up Neteyam before he climbed onto our cooking spot. 

I turned and put on my best smile, “Don’t worry, Love, I’ll be fine until Jake gets back,” With that, Lo’ak started crying; growing in four fangs at once was painful.

Based on Neytiri’s face, I don’t think I did a good job in convincing her I was indeed fine, “I think I will wait for Jake to return before leaving,” She explains as she stops Kiri from putting a random leaf in her mouth, causing her to cry. 

I quickly placed Neteyam into the front of the sling, as Lo’ak was tied to my back, before moving over to Kiri, grabbing her wooden Ikran toy. Showing Kiri the toy, she quieted down, and I went to take her from Neytiri as Neteyam wiggled, becoming frustrated from the lack of mobility. 

“I’ve got them. You go on patrol,” I demand, as Netyeam grabbed a fist full of my hair and yanked.

“Neteyam!” I scolded, a burning, sharp pain radiating through my skull. 

My shout scared the babies, causing all three to tear up and cry. Lo’ak’s cries turned into squeals, even more upset on top of the pain. Neteyam pulled again in his frustration, and I quickly put him down into the gated play area, “Neteyam, that is not okay. I know you’re upset, but you hurt Mama. You’re going to sit in here until you can use gentle hands. Mama loves you, but you can not hurt people,” I scolded softly but firmly. 

I sat down near the gate but left it out of reach; I pulled Lo’ak to my front, setting him next to Kiri as I shooshed them, trying to calm the two of them.

Neytiri walks urgently to my side, “Here, let me take one,” As she goes to grab one of the kids.

“No, Neytiri, I’m the one that scared them. I need to be the one to calm them and reassure them. I will do the same once Neteyam is out of timeout.” I sighed as Kiri’s cries trailed off into sniffles.

“I’m sorry, babies, Mama shouldn’t have yelled. I’m sorry for scaring you. Mama loves you,” I coo to them, apologizing for my actions. 

I continued to coo and rock them as Neteyam’s time came up. I walked over and stepped over the gate, sitting next to Neteyam. I pulled him into my arms, and he wrapped his chubby baby arms around my neck.

I kiss his head gently, “Neteyam, I love you so much, but you can not hurt people. Can you tell Mama you’re sorry?” I ask him gently.

“Sorry, Mama,” He sniffles, his little fingers clawing in distress.

“You’re forgiven, baby. Mama loves you so much,” I curled Neteyam closer to me as I leaned back against some pillows against the gate. 

“Love Mama,” He grizzles, rubbing his face in my neck.

“Mama loves you too, Teyam,” I whisper, noticing that the three of them are starting to settle down. 

Seeing that Neytiri was still standing there watching us, I used my face to gesture to the blanket nearby. Understanding what I wanted, she grabbed the soft blanket, covering the four of us in the soft fur. 

“Mama loves all of you so much,” I whisper again, kissing each of their heads.

Noticing that the situation was handled, Neytiri blew me a kiss before strapping her quiver on, her bow in hand, “Do you need anything, Yawne?” She asked one last time.

“Thank you, Love, but I’m good,” I whisper as I hear Kiri’s little snores. 

Giving us one last soft look, she left the kelku, leaving me with a snoring baby, a dozing baby, and a grizzly baby. I mentally curse at myself, realizing I should have asked for one of the baby sleeping mats to be placed next to me instead of where I spot it on the other side of the gated area. 

Accepting my fate as a baby bed for the time being, I slouch a bit more, getting myself comfortable. 

“Mama?” Neteyam asked drowsily.

“Yes, baby?” I hum, petting his hair.

“Mama?” He asks again, slower than the last time.

“Mama loves you, Netyeam,” I whisper again.

Slowly, his breathing eases out as he falls into a deep sleep.

Now that two of the three kids were sleeping, I turned to the third baby. Lo’ak was lying there resting, chewing on the strap to the sling, grizzling sleepily as he fights sleep and the pain of the emerging teeth. I kiss his forehead, bringing his attention to me.

“Mama loves you, Lo’ak, just as Mama loves Neteyam, and how Mama loves Kiri. I wish I could take the pain from you and help you rest, just as I wished I could do it for your siblings.” I ramble on, holding eye contact with Lo’ak, “Your Sempu is getting something to help with your teeth from your grandma, but he’s taking a long time, isn’t he? I love your Sempu, too, but he can be such a skxawng sometimes,” I smiled at Lo’ak, and in return, he gave me a watery smile before returning to gnawing on the straps of the sling.

He turned his head left to right, switching sides to alleviate the pressure. Using my not-so-free hand, I place my hand on his head, rubbing his cheek with my thumb, trying to give him the comfort he needs as he grizzles. Feeling something on his face, Lo’ak turns, sucking my finger into his mouth and gnawing on my thumb. He grinds his teeth and gums into my thumb, and I can feel my thumbnail crunching under the strength. I maneuver my thumb out of his mouth, trying not to curse at the pain. Looking at the offended limb, I see cracks in my nail from where he bit.

“You got a strong jaw there, baby. Gotta make sure nothing breakable goes in your mouth,” I laugh at Lo’ak’s disgruntled look, “Now, don’t give me that look. I like my thumb in one piece,” I say, wiggling my thumb, trying to ease the pain. 

Lo’ak’s eyes filled with tears as his new teething toy disappeared. I quickly leave small kisses all over Lo’ak’s face, distracting him from the loss of my thumb. Soft little baby giggles fill the kelku as the onslaught of kisses amuses him.

“Now that’s one of my favorite sounds. My other favorite is when you and Neytiri scream my name,” Jake’s face was stretched in a smirk.

Without looking away from Lo’ak, I calmly mentioned, “If you like us yelling your name, I’ll make sure to tell Neytiri it was you who lost the feathers she gathered for her arrows.” I quickly blow a raspberry on Lo’ak’s face, bringing forth more of his giggles.

“Easy baby, it was just a joke; please don’t sign my death warrant,” I hear him plead as he kneels next to the gated area.

“See, Lo’ak, I told you he’s such a Skxawng,” I explain to Lo’ak, his eyes attentive to me.

“Is this what you do while I’m gone? Teach them propaganda against me?” Jake teases, baffled.

“Yes, I’m staging a coup. Neytiri is my bodyguard, Neteyam is my recruiter, Kiri is my lookout, and Lo’ak is my second. Fear me, Jake Sully, your time is limited.” I drawl.

“Ha! You forgot Mo’at! She won't betray the Olo’eyktan!” Jake exclaimed quietly. 

“She will if her daughter is on my side, idiot,” I snark back at him, a smile threatening to cover my face. 

“Hmm, that is true, but I also have the numbing paste for Lo’ak,” He teases, hanging the bag over my head.

Interested in his father's actions, Lo’ak tries to reach for the bag above us.

“You would stoop so low as to threaten your own son's comfort?” I gasped dramatically. If my hands weren't full, I would place a hand over my heart.

“Anything to keep my lovely mates by my side. Now kiss me,” Jake demands, smiling at me, leaning down.

“You’re such a tease. We should role-play this some night,” I comment, leaning up to meet him. 

“I love that idea. You think Neytiri would be on board?” Jake asks concernedly, stepping over the gate, taking the two sleeping babies from me and cuddling them to his chest.

“Well, first, we would have to explain what role-playing is, but I have heard her say she wished you would command her in bed more often. As long as she knows that it won't change in our day-to-day life, I think she’ll love it,” I reply, explaining what I had heard.

“I hope she likes it,” He smiles, his tale swishing happily behind him.

I sat there thinking for a moment as I rubbed the paste into Lo’ak’s gums, careful not to let his jaws clamp on my finger again, “Gosh, I don’t think we’ve been intimate since before Lo’ak was born. It has been what, ten months now?” I ask Jake, really wondering if it had been that long. 

“324 days, to be exact,” He replied in a snap.

“Babe, have you wanted it that long?” I asked him concernedly.

Jake slowly shakes his head, “It’s alright, I have a working hand. We were all so tired, three babies right back to back. I didn’t want either of you two to feel stressed or pressured, so I kept my mouth shut,” He shrugged like it was no big deal.

Tears sprung to my eyes hearing this, wishing that Jake understood how much this truly meant. I stand to my feet, shifting Lo’ak so he is lying against my chest as he drifts to sleep now that the pain is gone. I cradle Jake's face in my hand as I kiss him passionately, pouring my love for him into the kiss. 

Parting slowly, I rest my forehead against his, “What did I ever do to deserve you?”

Jake smiles softly, “The first time we met, I was in a wheelchair and got pushed down a hall. The force of the push caused me to hit you, and you fell into my lap. You could have yelled at me, blamed me, and so many others had.” Jake’s voice breaks as he licks his lips, “But instead, you took one look at the situation, and you apologized to me, even though you were the victim too before you hunted down the bastard and broke their nose, before chewing them out in front of everyone around. I knew right then and there that you were the one for me.” Jake rubbed his nose on mine as he couldn’t hold me with the two babies in his arms.

I curl into Jake’s arms the best I can, tears trailing down my face from the mixed emotions swirling inside me. 

“That long? And you didn’t say anything?” I whispered, my voice cracked. 

“You were so pretty and firey, way out of my league. I was just a dumb jarhead stuck in a wheelchair. I was just happy to be in your presence.” Jake wrapped his tail around, laying it on my lap. 

“You were always so much more than that. You were my first friend there, so kind and funny. I always had to stop myself from laughing when you snarked at Grace. You were always so strong and never took any shit. I knew I was falling in love with you, but the day you chose the na’vi over the humans, the day you betrayed your own species for the greater good, I knew I wasn’t going to let you slip away.” I explained to him, kissing him again softly. 

“Who would have thought we were both such simps,” Jake smiled into our kiss.

I giggled a bit, “Neytiri did. If it weren't for her, I doubt any of this would have happened,” I gestured to our kids. 

“That is tru-AHHHHHHHH!!!” Jake screamed, waking the babies and filling the air with their screams.

Panicking, I back away, trying to see what’s wrong.

“Don’t do that!” Jake yelled again.

“Don’t do what?” I scream in return.

Both the babies in Jake’s arms were squealing, terrified of the noise, as they waved their fists in the air. But Lo’ak was quiet. Looking down, I see the culprit of Jake’s pain. Right in Lo’ak’s little mouth lay Jake’s tail, clenched between those strong jaws and little teeth.

“Lo’ak’s biting your tail!” I screamed, trying to pull Jake’s tail out of Lo’ak’s mouth.

“I see that! Now stop pulling!” Jake's teeth were bared in a natural defense to the pain.

“Well then, how would you like to handle this?” I yelled back, barely hearing anything over the screaming babies.

“I don't know! Just do something!” He yells, trying to pull his tail out of Lo’ak’s mouth.

“Stop yelling! You’re scaring the babies!” I screamed back, trying to push on Lo’ak’s jaw to get him to let go.

Lo’ak’s squeaky growls add to the mix of screaming and whiling. Lo’ak does not want his new chew toy taken away, and he learned the last time to not let go.

“Fuck! Lo’ak! Let go!” Jake’s voice started to slip into a growl, fighting the challenge that Lo’ak started.

“I love you, but don’t you dare growl at the baby,” I hissed at him while still trying to pry Lo’ak’s jaw open.

“He started it!” He hissed back.

Kiri, either from fear or simply being done with shit, reached out and sunk her teeth into Jake’s shoulder, her growls adding to the mix.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, Kiri, let go!” Jake yelled out.

“Da fuck? Why Kiri?” I asked no one in particular. 

“Is everything alright in here,” I hear Tsu’tey call.

Jake and I snap our heads over to him, “NO!” We yell in tandem.

“What is going on?” Tsu’tey’s deep voice asked over the chaos.

“Lo’ak bit Jake’s tail, and Kiri bit his shoulder, and we can’t get them to let go!” I rushed to explain while my hand started to cramp.

“Tsu’tey, seriously, help us get them off!” Jake demanded as nicely as he was able to.

“Have you scruffed them? That usually works,” Tsu’tey asked, baffled.

“Why would we scruff a baby?” I asked, bewildered and slightly hostile. 

“Be-because it calms them and will make them let go?” He answered, questioning us and himself.

“You know what, I don’t care, as long as it gets them off!” Jake hissed again.

Slow Tsu’tey walked over as if we were aggressive animals waiting to ponce. Spotting Kiri first, he slowly moved his hand over the back of her neck, gently rubbing before holding onto the skin there. A confused noise left her as she let go. Quickly, Tsu’tey grabbed her and held her properly. 

“You scruff them,” He explained calmly.

Looking down at Lo’ak, I move my hand from his jaw and copy the same movements that Tsu’tey did, and with a bated breath, Lo’ak let go. Jake grabbed his tail in relief as we all started to soothe the distressed babies. All of us are now mindful of the little teeth in their mouths.

“Brother, I thank you for your help in this, but if Neytiri ever finds out about this, I will personally make sure you and Ninat cannot have children,” Jake murmured while rocking Neteyam.

“No need for that, JakeSully. It is a right of passage in parenthood. Neytiri will be thrilled to see those scars!” Tsu’tey laughed, “Eytukan wore the scars Neytiri and Sylwanin gave him with pride. He would decorate the marks on the day of their birth.”

I look at Jake, bewildered that this is normal here, and based on the look that he gave me, he was thinking the same thing. 

“How-how often does this happen?” I asked tentatively.

“About once or twice a child,” Tsu’tey shrugged like it was no big deal.

“I’m going to tap out of this tradition as a human who is highly susceptible to infections, and I know that those teeth can and will do severe damage to me. For my safety, that isn’t gonna happen,” I deadpan.

I hear them both wince at the thought.

“That may be a good idea,” Tsu’tey, the biggest stickler for traditions, admitted. 

“Fuck!”

All eyes turned to the shouted curse.

“Please tell me-”

“Fuck!” Followed by little giggles.

“We’re so dead,” Jake muttered, all the color draining from his face.

“We have to hide this from Neytiri,” I whispered back.

Neteyam looked at Kiri from across the room, “Fuck!” He shouted at his sister, followed by giggles.

Kiri waved her arms excitedly, “Fuck!” She giggled back.

Tsu’tey slowly stood up, gently passing me Kiri like she was an atomic bomb, “You two seem to have a handle on this. I will take my leave now,” With that, he ran away with his tail between his legs, like a coward. 

“Did we ever finish writing our wills?” I ask, as Neteyam’s responding ‘fuck’ travels through the air.

“The na’vi don’t have wills,” Jake answered, accepting his fate.

“Maybe she’ll kill us quickly,” I whispered hopefully.

“Uck!” Lo’ak shouted his first word.

Slowly, we looked at Lo’ak before looking back at each other, dread filling our souls. Neteyam and Kiri were thrilled at their baby brother joining them. Their laughter and shouts of ‘fuck’ echo through the room, all three of them filled with glee. Not understanding that they were going to be raised by a single mother soon.

Dividers by: @cafekitsune

[thenightshadowqueen]

Top ten SFTH character couples

(in my biased opinion)

Okay, first of all I’m so sorry to anyone who followed me for anything other than Shoot from the Hip content; I swear I’ll put in more variety. Someday. (Also go check out Shoot from the Hip.) Second of all, I did not join Tumblr with the intention of making a bunch of lists, but they’re fun to write and people seem to enjoy them, so here goes.

10. Justin x the Beetroots MC (headcanon)

Listen, I do NOT condone the whole “if they’re bullying you, that means they like you” bullshit. That being said, years and years later, after both of them have grown as people, I think they could have a really sweet relationship, at least after they work through everything.

9. André Beetroot x Xavier (canon, somehow)

I kind of ship this in a joking way, but also kind of not? They make sense together in a really weird, fucked-up way, and I’m so here for it. (I cannot believe that they’ve canonically hooked up. Multiple times. I love AJ so much for giving us this.)

8. Andrew x Nigel (headcanon)

It’s so toxic. It’s so toxic, and I know that, and it would never be okay in real life, but some dark part of me is really fascinated by the possibilities. (I cannot emphasise enough how much I am intrigued by this in FICTION ONLY.)

7. Jack and Jackie (canon)

Complete turnaround from the last two, but these two are genuinely so sweet. I honestly don’t even have much to say about them, but I love them. So much.

6. François x Mimi (canon)

They are so toxic. They’re horrible people, and they only make each other worse. And I love it. (You know, making this list did make me worry about my mental health slightly. Just slightly.)

5. Toby x the meth wife (canon)

First of all, this is the gayest straight-presenting relationship I’ve ever seen, and I love it. (I totally headcanon them both as bi/pan/queer/etc., but that’s not the point of this post.) And honestly, they’re so supportive of each other. They’re, like, genuinely a healthy couple (in a SFTH play? Can you imagine?). They have so much love for each other, and I could talk about them all day, but I’m fairly sure no one needs that, so I’ll stop.

4. Andrews x Betruva (headcanon)

Listen, I might be a little biased because they’re new, but they kind of have everything I look for in a ship. They have millennia of history, which is always a good start. They’re ancient nemeses. They founded a church named after them both???? Honestly how much more gay can you get?

3. Esmerelda x the vampire slayer (canon)

I like to imagine that Esmeralda survived, and they fall in love, and they have to work through the trauma of the slayer (I think I saw the fanon name Samantha? But I’m not sure) trying to kill Esmeralda. There’s just so much angst potential, and oh, now I want to write a fanfic.

2. Bubba x Jeramiah (canon)

They’re a fucking classic, okay, and they’re a classic for a reason. They are the best gay cowboys, and I love them so much. I know I should have more to say, but I feel like it would just be incoherent screaming.

1. Derek x Titch (canon)

Listen, who else could it be? They are so fundamentally amazing. It’s a classic case of “he fell first, he fell harder” (even if we don’t get to see a lot of the “he fell harder” part, I believe it with all my heart). I love Titch working though his issues and learning to open up, and I love Derek being so helplessly in love with him. I love them so much, and they deserve the top spot.

[satorusplayplace]

headcanons on gojo satoru as your classmate pls! can be platonic or romantic :D

Gojo Satoru as your classmate!

☆ pairing: teen!gojo satoru x classmate!fem!reader

☆ content warning(s): cussing!

☆ A/N: i added my own little twist! and i’m so sorry if you didn’t want fem :( i’ll rewrite it! just lmk :) i also made the reader around 5’8-5’10 for my tall girlies!! we need more tall!reader inserts 🥲🫶🏼

you were a student at kyoto’s jujutsu high, while the sashisu group came over for some reason unknown to you. you were definitely caught off guard when you were laying in the grass under a shaded tree when two huge men (boys.) covered some of the sunlight beaming through the tree leaves.

“may i help you?” you asked them both and a girl comes up, you noticed it was shoko! shoko was your childhood best friend!

“SHOOOOKOOOOO~~!” you cried. you haven’t seen her in over two years! you hugged the girl and towered over her a bit. the two boys watched in surprise. they were going to ask you for help and just bother you but now that you know their best friend, they definitely needed to bother you.

“y/n! wow! you’ve grown. seriously.” she says to you, looking at the height difference between you two. you smile and laugh because she used to be taller when you two were younger.

“y/n huh… we’re your new classmates. you’re transferring to tokyo’s tech now, a request from the higher ups and yaga.” gojo says to you. you look at him and nod. you already knew you had to transfer, just didn’t know it was this soon…

✰ oh gojo as a classmate is annoying!!

✰ he didn’t care for you at least but after a few months you would hang out with their group. making you apart of the sashisu group.

✰ gojo started to crush on you after you would buy the group gifts often. you remembered his favorite things and after that, he hung around you as much as possible.

✰ “y/n!! you brought me kikufuku!!” he pouts and hugs you.

✰ gojo tended to follow you to your dorm room as well knowing after certain hours, the boys shouldn’t be on the girls side.

✰ “y/n!! mochi!! let meeee innnnnn!!!! PLEASSEEEE!! i wanna hang out with you.” you always let him in because of his whines.

✰ oh it was so obvious with how much he liked you. he teased you in class, in the hallway, on missions, everywhere

✰ he couldn’t help but flirt with you time to time, making suguru and shoko run away from you two. and you ended up falling for his charm.

✰ “y/n!!! you’re like mochi, so sweet…” and he ended up kissing your cheeks.

✰ oh the feeling of embarrassment flushing over you was overpowered by how much you wanted to kiss him.

✰ when you ended up kissing his lips after months of relentless teasing, he was blushing from how unexpected it was.

✰ when you guys got together. it was sooo annoying. he couldn’t help but have his hands everywhere on you. even your face, as much as you adored the man, it was annoying!

✰ when he noticed how touchy he was being, he always pouted and stopped himself from touching you, to the point where he didn’t even touch you at all.

✰ “satoru, i swear to god, if you don’t fucking cuddle me, i will literally break up with you. fucking kiss me already.”

✰ least you say, he was very content that night.

✰ satoru’s the perfect classmate, always helping you. he just wants you to ask him. not anyone else, only him.

✰ he just loves your attention

✰ he loves your height. omg. he doesn’t have to bend down too much. but also it’s perfect because he likes your legs…

✰ do not leave him alone for a long period of time!!! he gets sooooo pouty and whiny.

✰ overall, gojo is a 10/10 classmate and boyfriend. he just wants to marry you already.

[annievrse]

[college] basketball!eren

—ᡣ𐭩 headcanons a/n: guys i’m back in the waiting room (& it’s fkn hot today)……… let’s write some headcanons!!

a few points i've made in my bf!eren headcanons:

in basketball games against certain colleges, bf!eren gets so fired up and aggressive and lippy. he talks so much shit on the court (he's known for it), and isn't afraid to take shit either (which pisses off the other team, and the whole cycle starts again). but, it's a bonus for you when he gets off the court because he's looking extra hot..... and he knows it...... asshole

you wear bf!eren's spare jersey to his basketball games

bf!eren with a chain under his basketball jersey, his hair tied back and a thin headband, tape on his dodgy shoulder......... oh lordy

bf!eren's post-game meal is 3 big macs and 2 mcchickens AND a kids nugget meal (he wants to give you the toy that comes with it because he’s cute) but don’t forget dessert!! he sips his *diet* coke as a palate cleanser and then inhales an apple pie

bf!eren gets a job coaching a kids' basketball team, and that is a canon event

now i will elaborate....

basketball!eren wears nba jerseys in everyday life with sweat shorts & dunks/vans/birkenstocks (with socks) he is an effortlessly stylish college athlete ok he can pull off anything

basketball!eren has a piece of sports tape around his wrist with your name written in marker <3 (points to it whenever he scores if you aren’t there (e.g. games on the other side of the country), otherwise his finger is on you in the crowd)

whenever his favourite team is playing (call him basic, call him a bandwagon, but my man is in love with steph curry, so you know he supports golden state) & he can’t watch at home on the tv, basketball!eren sits and watches it on his phone (warning: he will speak to the phone like the team can hear him so keep an eye on him in public, especially at the library because he will yell)

basketball!eren got mvp in sophomore year (jean was like 2 points behind him) and he holds it over jean’s head because he is cheeky and a dick

basketball!eren wears a suit to and from his games (specifically a navy one with a white shirt, no tie, and its just so rahhhhhh) with his headphones on and a large cup of black coffee

now, i don't want to expose basketball!eren here, but in his headphones, only on game days, he plays taylor swift & rihanna

basketball!eren texts you nonstop when he's on the bus/plane to games (because connie is his seatmate (he loves him to death) but connie knocks the fuck out on these trips so eren gets very bored)

basketball!eren wears his hair in 2 styles when he plays: completely tied back with a thin headband or fully out with a thin headband (frothing over here sorry don't look at me: heavy emphasis on the 2nd style though)

basketball!eren has like a couple hundred thousand followers on instagram because he's a college basketball player and he's good and hot as fuck

basketball!eren posts photo dumps once a fortnight as a wrap-up for that time period because his life is so crazy hectic that he always has content for a new dump (i wish he was real guys)

basketball!eren loves loves showing you off (private but not secret on social media) & buying you gifts (instagram stories of your wrist with the new bracelet he gifted you for your birthday)

basketball!eren gets drafted in his senior year of college :') (chooses to graduate first and then go to the nba - he wasn't studying biomedical science for nothing!!! (not that he needs it anymore.......))

basketball!eren gets rookie of the year in his first season (crying)

[dollcherray]

₊⊹ HIGHSCHOOL SWEETHEARTS 𓏲 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ EDDSWORLD WITH A HYPER FEMININE S/O

ᯓ★ Pst! Cherry says: YIPPEE, EDDSWORLD CONTENT! i've been hyper fixating on eddsworld lately so decided to work on some hcs about them for the fandom, eat up children!! and also... I'm FREE!!! i finally solved what i had to solve so i have more time now, reader is gn :) THERE'S NO TORD IN THIS.

✧₊⁺ Type: Headcanons, Romantic/platonic(?), Fluff.

꩜.ᐟ Music: Highschool sweethearts

𓏲 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖ EDD

۶ৎ He thinks you're adorable, really! the first time he met you, you were wearing a white soft dress that had black details on the garment neckline along with black heels and white socks, your hair was tied up on a ponytail with a big white scrunchie that had a bow attached to it and Edd was fond of the style the moment he saw you.

۶ৎ Edd is very chill about it, he doesn't care about how you dress and how much you use makeup and bows, as long as you're happy, he's happy!

۶ৎ The only thing he's not really happy with is the shopping sprees you drag him into, don't get him wrong, he's happy that you know your style but, shopping for it almost every week and dragging him along with it kinda bugs him out because you always make him carry the hundreds of bags.

۶ৎ Edd tried to voice his annoyance to you many times, but everytime he sees the happy look on your face, he just sorta sucks it up and be your bag holder for the rest of the shopping spree, Edd has a weak spot for your smile.

۶ৎ And of course you use that weak spot to your advantage when you ask him if you could do your makeup, he may try to play tough and reject it at first but like i said, just use his weak spot that he'll eventually give in.

۶ৎ Edd doesn't really do skincare but wouldn't mind doing it, i think he would be chill about it honestly.

۶ৎ Everytime he's going to gift you, 50% of the chances is that he's giving you dress or heels, the other 50% is either makeup or accessories, because he's that supportive of your style. 🫶🏼 (and he doesn't really know what else to gift you)

۶ৎ Edd thinks this style of clothing really fits you, you look very delicate and pretty with it, so expect him to compliment every time you put together a new outfit.

۶ৎ If someone judges you for the way you dress, he would defend you but wouldn't try to make a scene, it would be more in a chill way, saying things like "hey man, that's not cool" and etc, if the person still try to be rude Edd would just distance you both from them.

۶ৎ overall very chill but supportive :)

꩜.ᐟ MATT

۶ৎ You guys are twinning.

۶ৎ Matt is not a hyper feminine person like you, but he is quite the feminine guy, so he may borrow a shirt or a bow from time to time, just don't forget to ask for him to give it back. (or he may legit steal it from you 👀)

۶ৎ When he first saw you, he was in the mall with Matilda and oh boy when he set his eyes on you, he gave one of those dramatic loud gasps that you could hear it from across the mall, like Matt chill it's just a person wearing a pink shirt from your favorite brand.

۶ৎ He wouldn't really wear makeup but if you ask to do his makeup Matt will gladly accept it!! if you do something more pinkish he'll adore it!! i like to hc that one of his main favorite colors out of the many he has is pink, so he'll be really satisfied with it.

۶ৎ He'll gladly go on shopping sprees with you, you two would be full of shopping bags in under 2 hours, you guys would be walking with a whole new wardrobe in your arms.

۶ৎ Selfies, LOTS of manicure and/or pedicure selfies, skincare nights EVERY NIGHT, you guys would have a whole new album of photos!! 99% of these photos are written "Besties 4ever" or something between these lines in them.

۶ৎ This man is like your fucking soulmate, if you offer him to wear a skirt he would honestly.

۶ৎ Just a silly duo.

⋆.˚ TOM

۶ৎ He has a love hate relationship with it, same reasons as Edd its just hes more passive-aggressive with it.

۶ৎ not that he really cares what you wear, its just the way you drag people in it that kinda pisses him off but, he tries his best to be supportive of it.

۶ৎ Everytime you guys are one of your hundreds of shopping sprees and you make him carry something, he'll grumble under his breath and begrudgingly take one of the bags for you, because, well, its you.

۶ৎ If you ask him to let you do his makeup, he'll instantly say no, like stop asking and scram off.

۶ৎ But if you really insist on it, like really annoy him about it, he'll eventually give in out of irritation, only to regret it moments later when he sees the "pink mess" (in his words) you did on his face.

۶ৎ Man walked out of your room looking like a drag queen.

۶ৎ Tom is also the type of man to not do skincare but wouldn't mind doing it, so if you offer him to do it for him, he'll accept it and thank you for taking care of him. (cutie)

۶ৎ Sometimes he doesn't understand why you wear so much pink, honestly, but he isn't the best one to complain anyways, since he (like the others) mainly wears one color.

۶ৎ Grumpy cat.

[eldritch-nightmare]

Do u have any headcanons for poly! proxies (the usual 3 of masky, hoodie and toby) ?? :)

a/n: yeah okay i'll write the creepypasta interps of masky and hoodie just this once because i'm weak for poly content. wasn't sure if you wanted ship content or x reader content so i did both. enjoy <3

poly proxy headcanons.

warnings: exclusively referring to tim and brian as masky and hoodie in this, i actually forgot how masky and hoodie behaved as proxies of slenderman oops, no real warning actually just some healthy relationships and communication.

X READER. [gn reader]

You and Hoodie are definitely the mediators, I think. Toby and Masky have a habit of bickering a lot when it comes to wanting to spend time with you, so sometimes you and Hoodie have to sit them down and talk things out.

The fact that you have three guys dating you means there's got to be a lot of communication and two of these three guys are exclusively terrible at communicating.

You guys sorta attempt to follow a schedule. The keyword is attempt. Sometimes it works out, and sometimes things happen that make the schedule get all messy.

They all take you out on vastly different dates.

Hoodie takes you out on little dates such as walks through a park, or browsing a music store.

Masky takes you out on dates that are a little more expensive, such as a nice restaurant, or maybe he'll take you to see the latest movie that just released. Just... don't question where he's getting money from, he won't answer you.

Toby is the least romantic of the three since he doesn't have the best experience with romance. He's not entirely sure what classifies as a date because he enjoys any time he gets to spend with you, be it helping you bake something or just sitting in silence with you.

Hoodie is definitely the first one to realize he's in love with you. It's not something that he's immediately aware of. I picture him just hearing you laugh one day and having the quiet realization of, 'oh, i'm in love with you.'

Toby is the second, but he denies his feelings. Not because he doesn't want to love you, he's just worried. He doesn't allow himself close enough to people to fall in love, but now he has and it's something he's trying to adjust to.

Masky realizes he loves you last. Definitely see him being the type to be drifting off into sleep only for you to then pop into his mind and for him to suddenly be wide awake like 'holy shit i'm in love.'

The way they love you is actually pretty similar. They're all rather quiet when it comes to love, though from an outside perspective, it's very obvious that Hoodie is in love with you while Toby and Masky sorta keep it under wraps.

One of them is almost always with you. Being proxies makes them busy, so they aren't always able to spend time with you but one of them always tries to make sure that they're with you. Just in case.

Slender is kinda mildly annoyed by the relationship, but it isn't one to judge. So long as it doesn't get in the way of their duties, it could care less about whether or not they date some outsider like you.

SHIP.

How the hell did this happen? That's what everyone thinks whenever they see the three together.

None of them ever thought they would be dating each other, let alone enter a poly relationship. I mean, everyone sorta thought that maybe Masky and Hoodie had a thing going on since they're so buddy-buddy with each other.

But Masky and Toby actually genuinely hated each other in the beginning, it's absolutely baffling that the two are dating each other now.

I definitely think Hoodie and Masky get together first. Classic best friends to lovers.

And I think Masky totally falls for Toby first. Something something he finds himself gradually accepting Toby's presence more often and that acceptance sorta blends into a strange feeling of affection that turns into the realization of 'ah fuck.'

Masky awkwardly going up to Hoodie like, 'babe, i got a crush on the new guy.' and Hoodie is just like 'wow, you're just now realizing?'

I definitely think at this point, Hoodie doesn't really have any particular romantic feelings toward Toby, but he isn't upset that Masky has a crush on him either, y'know? Like... he and Masky are both very much aware that they're poly, so there is no awkward tension or big argument. Just silent acknowledgment and encouragement.

But Masky is like way too awkward around Toby now, so it's definitely Hoodie who gets a feel on whether or not Toby might reciprocate those feelings. And lo and behold, he does.

Hoodie had to be the one to confess his feelings to Masky before they started dating, and he knows damn well that neither Toby nor Masky will confess their feelings to each other, and while it's adorable to watch the silent pining, it's also equally as painful so he would literally just sit them both down and be like 'you guys like each other. discuss.' like it's some sort of debate.

Very awkward confessions between the two a lot of 'i fear getting close to people because i've already lost so much and i really can't lose you too'

Bada bing, bada boom. Masky and Hoodie are dating, Toby and Masky are dating, and Hoodie and Toby are... testing the waters, currently.

If even one of them has a bad day, all plans get cancelled and their all huddling up in one of their rooms and putting on awful movies and maybe cuddling a bit who knows.

Hoodie, introducing Masky to someone: This is my boyfriend, and this is my boyfriend's boyfriend, Toby. (and then he vaguely gestures to Masky and Toby, nd Masky his holding Toby's hand and Toby is just staring. Blankly.)

There's a lot of communication that goes on, and there are some days where they struggle a bit but they make things work.

[alecvolturiswifeforever]

dating jane volturi 𝜗𝜚 ׅ ۫ headcanons

warnings: fluff, angst (?), implied smut

⤻ she is extremely cold towards you at first.

⤻ she sends glares your way, makes snarky comments, makes an effort to avoid you unless it’s mandatory that she’s in the same room as you.

⤻ that is until her brother finally talks some sense into her.

-“sister isn’t this what you always wanted? that special bond with someone?” “i have that with you.” “that’s… not what i was talking about”

⤻ this would continue on for a few days until he finally says it upright to her.

- “she’ll leave you know.” “…” “if you keep it up she’ll leave and you know it.”

⤻ suddenly she’s not so avoidant anymore.

⤻ don’t get me wrong, she still makes snarky comments every so often but she doesn’t say them to hurt you… more to test you.

⤻ she wants to see how easy you’ll give up and leave… and when you don’t she is thoroughly surprised (and pleased, but she’ll never admit that to you)

⤻ she begins to seek you out and slowly (like VERY slowly) she’ll start to offer small sprouts of affection.

⤻ she’ll hold your hand occasionally, lean her head on your shoulder if you’re sat together, a small side hug. little stuff like that but you appreciate it nonetheless.

⤻ she is very dependent on validation (she seeks this in the kings the most, however now she seeks it a lot in you too)

⤻ once she is comfortable around you you see a new side of her. the side only reserved for her brother… and now you.

⤻ the first time you hear her giggle you were mesmerised, staring at her with parted lips.

⤻ you could only describe it to be angelic.

⤻ (if she could’ve blushed at the look you gave her she would have)

⤻ she knows that you can be doubtful of her feelings for you, typically after one of her meltdowns when she’d attempt to push you away or her stoicism towards you around others and so she’ll subtly show you she cares through little gestures when you are alone.

⤻ reading to you, little love notes left in places she knows you’ll find them, soft touches and kisses to your face. though she can’t physically bring herself to apologise you just seem to know.

-“i’m-… I- ” “I know, it’s okay…”

⤻ bdjsbdksnsjs this is so sappy i’m sorry 🥹🥹🥹🥹

⤻ she’s not as soft with you ( i believe alec would be the one to be more teasing with his mate, whereas jane is much more to the point and serious) but you get used to it.

⤻ she makes it known that no one is to mess with you, and if they do well yeah they’re dead.

⤻ tortured first but very much dead.

⤻ she takes great pride in protecting you. it gives her a purpose. but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t like to be coddled by you. she very much has those moments (who doesn’t?).

⤻ she’ll sigh in content as you play with her hair, whine when you pull away from holding her, giggle as you give her soft kisses (omg this is adorable i cant)

⤻ the first time she sought you out and asked you to cuddle (albeit very quietly) you were shocked.

- “are you okay, jane?” “i- can you- can you hold me please?” “of course, come here”

⤻ she likes that she has someone other than her brother to talk to about more… intimate things.

⤻ it’s like having a bestie and a significant other all in one (the best type of relationship).

⤻ intimacy is very, very important to her. it’s not just a “oh yeah let’s fuck and then i’ll go to work” type thing it’s much more meaningful to her.

⤻ she has to be held/holding you for a while after, just to remind her you are there and you’re not going anywhere.

⤻ overall, she is a cutie she just has some severe trust issues (but you can fix that☺️)

[valentine-cafe]

. ˚◞♡ mercenary bosses x gn reader ꒰ kinktober: gun ꒱◞ ₊˚

⊹ ۪ ࣪ ᥫ᭡ 9948e rasui / reader / lisse ꒱ you're a new recruit and you catch the eyes of both of your leaders. they just so happen to find out that you have a gun kink

𖹭. content warnings◞  explicit content . penetrative sex . gun kink . oral fixation . rough sex . degradation . praise . 1.6k

𖹭. receipts◞  decided to do this in headcanons ! these two are soooo

. ˚◞ ꒰ 🍰 𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒌𝒔 ꒱ m.list . guidelines . characters . lorebook ⊹ ۪ ࣪ 

𖹭. a newly recruited mercenary - who knew you’d find yourself between two of your merc leaders? you’d seen the tension between them; so imagine your surprise when you were down on your knees in rasui’s office while lisse crooned down at you. an appetiser for the many - many sessions you would spend with them

𖹭. they’ve noticed the way you stare a little longer whenever they pull out a gun. either on a mission or elsewhere. you can’t help it. you’re already fatally attracted to them and now to see their pretty hands on such a weapon? so skilled and tempered? you couldn’t help but go home and hump your pillow after a particular week of aim practice around the syndicate.

𖹭. lisse has always preferred guns a bit more than rasui. you learnt that especially when she had you slotted over the barrel of her gun and grinding your clothed crotch down. all while she pressed kisses up your throat and mumbles soft praised to you

“doing so good, hmm? does it feel good, pretty petal? mhhm?”

𖹭. of course rasui joined in on the whole ordeal with his own pistol. tracing it along your most sensitive parts - while the cold metal grazed and contrasted the warm feeling of him fucking into you. while you’re partially bent over his desk and taking him like the good darling you promised to be. rasui always fucked hard. it seemed that having a loaded gun pointed at you made him even more feral. the backs of your thighs were all sore.

“hah - so she was right? my, what a lovely little kink you have. . .”

𖹭. on you knees between lisse’s legs as she sat upon her office chair. you begged to taste her. to eat her out like she deserved. instead you got your mouth fucked by her pistol instead. a hand tight on the back of your neck. and while she is careful - she certainly does enjoy the way you drool around the black steel. her head tilted to the side and that sweet, cunning smile on her pink lips. if you’re lucky she’ll grind her high heeled shoe up into your throbbing crotch. remind you that your pleasure only comes when she says so.

𖹭. she’s made you lick around the barrel. drool and salivate all over. kiss at the rim. all while you caress at her thighs and whine for her. she’d be a liar if she said that the sight was not beyond arrousing.

“choking so well on it. enjoy it mor than rasui, do you?”

𖹭. well you had that answered when rasui just so happened to enter the office after. he made sure to give you a little reminder and fucked your throat for you just right. until you were choking on his cum and whining around his cock so prettily. all while lisse watched. leaned back in her chair and looking oh so serene.

𖹭. rasui has fucked you wild from behind. bent over and whining. while lisse takes the liberty of pushing the barrel into your mouth again. so that you feel utterly helpless by the two of them. if you whine and cry enough she might replace it with herself. have you messily, sloppily eat her out while she degrades you. and while rasui makes a mess of your insides.

𖹭. taglist◞ wanna join the taglist? fill out this form

𖹭. remember◞ you make a writer's day every time you like, reblog and/or comment on their piece. if you enjoyed my work, please considering doing so<3

. ˚◞ ꒰ 🍰 𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒔𝒖𝒑𝒑𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒖𝒔 ꒱ tip jar . masterist ⊹ ۪ ࣪

[total-drama-brainrot]

i just posted a silly impulsive headcanon in the discord off the top of my head, but now that i'm thinking about it...

let's say, during their stay in jamaica (or maybe in a later season/different show altogether?) the contestants are staying in hotel rooms for simplicities' sake. and due to the number of them, they're paired up. not an issue, right?

noah goes to join owen in his room, but he's already partnered up with tyler (or whomever), so noah's left with only alejandro as an option. great. again, it's whatever, it's only temporary. at least they'll be able to sleep in proper beds, so things are still looking up!

oh, they've been given the last available room? it's got the queen bed? oh sweet! so they've got bigger beds than the others? no?

wait. what do you mean "only one bed?"

oh shit oh fuck he's totally doomed.

well, they'll just have to make do. noah isn't about to cause a fuss about his sleeping arrangements, he's already tired enough from the plane crash itself and the challenges they competed in. what's the worst that could happen?

(he steadfastly ignores the Very Possible Outcome of his unfortunate sleeping habit, even when various headlines pertaining to a certain awake-a-thon incident race across his vision like spectres. because it's NOT going to happen again.)

alejandro also takes the news with his usual levels of grace and poise- all of that social training as the son of a diplomat has done him well- though noah can just tell by the tenseness in his shoulders and the stiffness of his posture that he's not as calm about the situation as he'd like the others to believe.

whatever. it's just a bed, who cares?

when they're getting ready to sleep- in an actual bed, what a luxury!- noah and alejandro gingerly climb into their respective sleep wears, both facing the opposite direction. this is the first time the whole season that they've been allowed the opportunity to sleep in their actual pyjamas. you know, since they haven't exactly had beds.

alejandro, dressed in his tank top and sleep shorts (he'd usually sleep in just the shorts, but the thought of doing so whilst sharing a sleep space seemed inappropriate), turns to climb into their queen bed only to see noah, who is already dressed in his own loose t-shirt and shorts, stepping into a pair of sweatpants and pulling a thick looking sweater over his sleepwear. what the fuck?

the room they're in isn't even cold, they're in jamaica?

even worse, noah's actively putting on a pair of fluffy socks. who wears socks to bed?

and then, then, the absolute mad lad reaches into his luggage and pulls out an equally fluffy dressing gown (or bathrobe/housecoat, same thing tbf), wrapping it around himself like a winter coat as if he's somehow cold in his two- now three- layers. it's almost 26°c out there! (80°f)

and the psycho smiles to himself, breathing out a sigh of contented air (and, alejandro notices, uncurling from his slightly hunched over posture, as if he'd been trying to conserve heat), as if he's not sweating his ass off under his three weather inappropriate layers!

so, as a concerned team leader, alejandro points out the obvious; he shouldn't be wearing so many layers to bed, he's going to get heat stroke.

but noah argues back; he naturally runs cold, especially when he's asleep.

and alejandro briefly recalls the amount of times he's noticed a napping noah shivering in his sleep despite wearing his usual three layers of clothing and the jet itself being kept a consistent room temperature for all it's faults, but his logic reasons that even so noah still doesn't need to wear socks to bed (it's immoral).

eventually noah gives up defending his (objectively wrong) decision to wear thick layered clothing and socks to bed and just climbs under the covers (discarding the dressing gown on the way, he's not completely insane), huffing in annoyance as he curls up at the edge of the mattress and makes a point of ignoring his company.

alejandro also sighs to himself, though whether it's in defeat or exasperation he isn't entirely sure, and carefully slots himself onto the opposite edge of the bed.

the two fall asleep in a tense silence with almost a meter of space between them.

which is why it's surprising when alejandro wakes up a few hours later, absolutely boiling under the heated weight practically glued to his side.

noah's iconic hair, softer in texture that it's usually neat waves would imply, tickles at his neck whilst the cynic's face is pressed firmly into his chest. his sweater-clad arms and wrapped almost possessively around his shoulders and his legs and tangled between the latino's own. whilst the added pressure is nice bearable, alejandro is sweating his life out beneath the warmth of another body.

when he tries to unpeel his clingy companion from his side, a sleeping noah seems to take that as a challenge and digs his hands into the taller's shoulders, which is when alejandro realises that despite everything noah's hands are freezing to the touch. how?! the two of them end up even further entwined than before, as his escape efforts only lead to noah wrapping his body even tighter around alejandro like a particularly stubborn boa constrictor until he had the shorter practically sleeping on top of him- as if alejandro himself was the mattress, or some oversized teddy bear.

it's... not an ideal situation.

alejandro kicks the duvet off of the pair, prompting a shiver from the wannabe koala attached to him, but the freedom from the oppressive heat outweighs any remorse he would've felt for depriving his companion from potential heat stroke. without the oven-like heat of the duvet, having the warmth of another curled up against him is actually pretty nice, and alejandro soon finds unconsciousness washing over him like the (comparatively) cool air of their room.

noah wakes up as sunlight filters into their suite, his face tucked firmly into alejandro's neck as the taller cradles him between his arms, deep slumbering breaths making his chest periodically rise and fall against noah's own. his arms are wrapped around the spaniard's waist, cold hands gripping loosely at the fabric of his tank top, and their legs are to tangled together that it takes the bookworm a few moments to figure out which ones are his.

he's warm, for once, and it's wonderful. he barely spares a thought at how awkward the situation is going to be when they're both awake and just presses himself further into alejandro's inviting warmth, mouth twitching into a smile, as he drifts back to sleep.

[ilovetheriddler]

Ooooooohhhhhhh now I gotta ask you to get in depth about the worst aspects of a yandere AK Eddie. (Gn) reader not even really reciprocating 'cause they just see him as a friend, the riddles freaking them out, trying to leave him for at least a while, being put in a cage.. all that good stuff. A fic or headcanons please, whichever you want to do. Thanks 💚

Well, you want the worst of our dearest Eddie? I'm more than happy to oblige! I hope that you enjoy it!

Caged and Riddled.

(Arkham Games) Edward Nigma x GN!Reader.

(Declaimer: I don't condone or approve of the actions taken in this story. It is purely a work of fiction.)

Word Count: 715.

Contents: Obsessive Behavior, Possessive Behavior.

It had all started simple enough. Sometimes, Eddie could act a bit... strange in your eyes, obsessive and perhaps even a bit possessive at times, but you usually thought nothing of it. At least... until he started leaving those riddles for you. You had been used to getting his riddles before, so originally, it was nothing new, but eventually they changed in tone... and it made you feel nervous.

You tried to just ignore the riddles. Maybe Eddie was just going through some weird slump, and that was causing it? Yeah, that had to be it. But once you realized that there was definitely a romantic and sexual undertone to some of his behavior, you tried to let him down easy. Eddie was an extremely intelligent man. He'd surely understand that you just didn't see him that way.

"Listen, Mr Nigma, sir, it's nothing personal.... but I just view you as a friend and boss, you know?"

"......i... see..... how interesting..."

Overall, he wasn't screaming or throwing a fit at your statement, so you took that as a great sign... which was a horrible oversight on your part. He was simply choosing to wait and think this through, thinking of the most ideal way to make you realize how foolish you were being....

You were infuriated when you opened your dresser only to find every article of clothing you owned covered in stupid question marks! You angrily marched into Eddie's workshop, slamming your hands down on his desk.

"What the hell is this, Eddie?!"

"Hmm? I'm simply just staking my claim, making it known to the various gutter rats of this city that you belong to me. Is that really such an outlandish thing?"

"B-belong to you?! I don't belong to you! This is ridiculous!"

Later that night, you decided you'd had enough of how Eddie had been acting recently and packed up everything you could and left his lair.... or at least you tried to. You got about 15 minutes away from there before you were ambushed by one of his latest robotic contraptions and dragged back to his lair, where you were immediately met with the sight of a frantic and incredibly worried and annoyed Riddler.

"Ah! There you are! Now.... I can't believe that you'd be foolish enough to actually try and run away from me! Am I not good enough for you?! I provide you a place to sleep, food, clothes, and anything else you need!"

"You can't keep me here! In fact.... I quit!"

He went dead silent. His expression became neutral and blank for a moment before turning into a smug grin.

"Oh, that's where you're wrong, my dear! You can't fucking quit! It's in the damn contract that you willingly signed without reading...."

You let out a confused and surprised squeal as you're thrown into a fairly large cage next to his workbench he usually sits at. There's a fluffy and soft blanket lining the bottom, so it's not as uncomfortable as it could be, but it's still a cage! He holds the contract in front of the cage, pointing towards the part he wants you to look closely at. Sure enough, right there it is. It can't be ethical, but it's written there.... By signing this agreement, then you're accepting that you're not allowed to quit while I, The Riddler, your employer, has use for you.

"T-that can't be legal!"

"....You're working for a supervillain. How is anything about your employment legal? Hmm?"

You go quiet.... damn it, he had a point. He went back to working on his latest project.

"Now... if you behave yourself in there, then I might allow you to actually sleep in your bed instead of the cage tonight. Is that what you want?"

You nodded reluctantly. You'd find a way out of this eventually, but for now, it was best to follow along without much question. He stared at you for a second, his smug grin growing even more ecstatic as he leaned closer to the cage.

"Perfect.... now, I want you to repeat something for me.... Say, "I love you so much, Eddie..."... if you do, then I might just reduce the amount of time you have to stay in the cage overall!"

".....I... I love you so much.... Eddie..."