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#'much less of a man than i ever would have guessed'
that-house · 4 hours
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December 3rd, 2031 – Sixty degrees, clear skies, and a nice southeasterly breeze. It was a beautiful day to lay siege to Dallas. It was a good thing the weather was nice, because everything else about the operation looked rough. Marian couldn’t wait.
Dallas was a classic Texan fortress-city, two rings of forty foot tall concrete walls with a killing field in between, bristling with anti-aircraft cannon. The ground-facing defenses were a little less thorough, but a few machine guns would make quick work of any infantry charge and Dallas had more than a few machine guns.
“We aren’t being paid enough,” Suzy griped. She was crouching in the shade, alternatingly blowing a bubble of gum and taking swigs out of a bottle whose contents were hidden by a paper bag.
“We’re mercenaries. Get used to it.” Marian hoisted her gun onto her shoulder. “Besides, they don’t exactly expect us to succeed.”
“Oh, are we leading a suicide charge? I wasn’t paying attention to the Duke.” Suzy was never paying attention, but the benefits of having her around outweighed the drawbacks. Most days, at least.
“Pretty much.”
“Did the guys we’re with know this was a suicide charge?”
Marion looked around at the Jeep the Duke of Austin had hastily assigned the duo to. The soldiers suddenly all looked a bit green around the gills. “I’m guessing not. Chin up, boys! Auntie Marian won’t let any harm come to you.”
One of the men, a lieutenant, managed to find his voice. “Why are we here?”
“The Duke hopes that we’ll die loud enough that Dallas won’t notice his bombers taking out the emplaced guns. Doesn’t strike me as very sound tactics, but hey, he’s got manpower to make up for what he lacks in brains.”
Silence in the back of the Jeep.
Marian continued, mostly to fuck with them. “And don’t think the tanks’ll be any help. See those big fancy guns up on the wall? Those are lonestar guns. You boys seen lonestar guns?”
“Yeah.”
“So you get the idea. But hey, cheer up! It’s not every day you get to storm the best-defended city in the state!”
The man slowly came to a revelation a long time coming. “You’re insane,” he said.
“Insane was my father’s name. Please, call me Marian Typhoon.”
Suzy cackled. “That was terrible.”
The soldiers looked between the two women, now realizing they were both mad. “How are you two so calm?”
Marian didn’t answer for a moment, looking out at the slowly-approaching walls of Dallas. The lonestar guns’ targeting algorithms would start flagging the vehicles soon. “Suzy, how far out are we?”
“About a mile and a half.” Suzy busied herself checking over her rifle.
“Now, boys, I’m gonna explain two concepts very quickly, so you’d best pay attention. The KL-90 fully automatic sniper rifle, sometimes called “Le Papillon,” was something of a failure, because for some reason those glorious Frenchmen decided to make it fire 1200 rounds per minute, giving it a tendency to dump the entire mag into one poor fucker. Only six were ever made, and nowadays they’re just museum pieces. In 2026, the American military plunged into the deep end of bioweaponry and concocted a little something known as the ‘vampire virus,’ which proved pretty damn lethal in 99.99% of cases. The 0.01% that survived were problematic enough that the program shut down, and all information about it was expunged from the record.”
Marion patted Suzy affectionately on the head. “Now you might be wondering how those two disparate pieces of information might happen to overlap, and if you boys just sit pretty for a moment I reckon you’ll be able to connect the dots. Suzy?”
The last surviving vampire, Suzy Nines, slotted the magazine into her KL-90 fully automatic sniper rifle, and squinted out at the Dallas walls. She squeezed the trigger, the barrel swinging into a wild blur of motion as the sound of gunfire filled the air. “Machine gunners down. Reloading.”
Marian patted the hapless lieutenant on the shoulder. “Come along, boys. Auntie Marian’s got a city to take.”
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A sneak peek of the next chapter of Come Away, O Human Child
He meets Shannon at the same restaurant they decided to end their marriage in less than a month ago.
It’s strange…he’s well aware of just how drastically your life can change in a short amount of time. How drastically everything can change in an instant. He’s had his own share of moments that changed everything—split seconds where the before and after were entirely different lives. Meeting Shannon. Her telling him she was pregnant. Holding Christopher for the first time. Getting shot down in Afghanistan.
Walking into the 118.
Meeting Buck.
He knows how drastically your life can change in a short amount of time, but Christopher’s birth is the only thing that has ever made him feel so much like a different person. He’s not the same man that he was the last time he and Shannon sat down together to talk. Shannon seems to sense it, watching him with sharp, curious eyes as they place their orders.
“How’s apartment hunting going?” he asks as soon as the runes woven into the fabric of the tablecloth flash blue and their drinks appear a moment later.
“Good. I’ve got it narrowed down to a couple of places—if you don’t mind, I’d like to sign Chris out of school early this Friday and take him with me for the walkthroughs. I want him to have a say in where he’ll be staying when he comes to visit. Thought we could take the weekend to see some of the sights, maybe get a fancy hotel room?”
Eddie nods, mentally flicking through the calendar of appointments and plans he has over the next few days. Chris has a doctor’s appointment early next week, but there’s nothing pressing. “Yeah, of course—he’ll love that.”
Shannon smiles at him, taking a sip of her drink and leaning back in her seat. She looks good—relaxed and happy in a way she really hasn’t been the last few months. He wonders if she sees the same in him, and it makes his heart ache for both of them. Trying so hard to do the right thing and just hurting themselves and each other doing it. And isn’t that just the story of their entire relationship?
“I’m glad things are going good for you,” he says, and sincerely means it. Shannon’s smile widens, and it strikes him how very much their son looks like her. He sees more of himself in Chris’s mannerisms and expressions, but in looks, he’s practically Shannon made over.
“Thanks, Eddie,” she says, and then tilts her head with that shrewd look that has always made him feel like no one would ever know him as well as this woman does. He knows that’s not true, now. Buck knows him every bit as well as Shannon ever did…knows him better in some ways, understands him on levels that Shannon was never able to reach no matter how hard she tried.
But Shannon knew him first. She will always be the first person who looked and saw him, he thinks.
“But I’m guessing you didn’t ask to meet up just to tell me you’re happy for me?” The runes on the tablecloth light up again, and they both sit back as their steaming plates appear—mushroom risotto for Shannon, salmon and asparagus for him. He stalls a moment by grabbing his fork and poking at the (perfectly done) fish before shrugging and nodding.
“Yeah,” he admits. “I’ve, uh, got something I want to talk to you about.”
Shannon raises an eyebrow at the serious tone of his voice. “Okay,” she says slowly.
“So, I know we haven’t really talked about, uh, how we want to handle it if…when…we want to maybe introduce someone. To Chris. Someone new.”
The other eyebrow shoots up, surprise and something a little hurt flashing across Shannon’s face. “You’ve already met someone?” she asks. “And you want to introduce them to our son? Eddie, we’re not even divorced yet!”
And oh…oh, yeah, okay, it sounds bad when she says it like that. “No! No, not like that—” He breaks off with a heavy sigh. “It’s…complicated,” he finishes lamely. Confusion joins the surprise and the hurt, and Eddie mentally throws his hands up. “It’s someone Christopher already knows—someone we see all the time. Nothing was going on while you and I were still…anyway, it’s new. For both of us. But I don’t want to try and sneak around Chris when we see this person so much. But we already talked about it, and we don’t want to do anything you’re not comfortable with. You’re his mom, Shan—you get a say in this.”
Shannon’s brow furrows, and she tilts her head slightly. “Who is it?” she asks.
“It’s Buck,” he says simply.
It surprises him a little, actually, how easy it is to say. They’ve kept it totally between them, this new…development in their relationship, agreeing that they don’t want to throw anymore hand grenades into their lives until everyone knows about Buck’s curse, and why he can’t try and get his magic back. They’d also agreed that Chris needs to know before anyone else in their immediate circle, and that Shannon needs to be a part of that conversation. It should feel bigger, he thinks, more momentous, telling someone else for the first time, let alone his soon-to-be ex-wife.
Like everything with Buck, though—every damn thing—Eddie finds that it just…fits. It’s easy, when it comes to Buck. The truly important things are always easy.
Shannon’s jaw actually drops, and she stares at him wide-eyed for a few seconds, before abruptly shaking her head. “Okay…is it weird that that’s not even in the top fifty of things I thought you were going to say and completely unsurprising?”
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ex0rin · 3 months
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Hi, hello, small dick negan is canon to the comics? Just for strictly scientific purposes, where—uh where could someone find this information?
Hello! For strictly scientific purposes: The Walking Dead Issue #140
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+bonus:
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harrowscore · 5 months
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why are you, as an adult in 2024, still hung up on reylo. why are you still mocking the shippers. why do you believe yourself to be superior only because you dislike a stupid ship from a fucking space fairytale. girl (gnc) get a grip
#it's ridiculous. this ship is... stupidly cliché. like if you know fandoms at all#you could easily guess why people would be into it. hello?? have you tried to watch tfa without your hate-on-kyle-ron goggles?#did you watch their scenes together? you don't have to like something to recognize the hints#hell. at the time i didn't really like jonerys but i realized they were going to be a thing when i read agot in 2011#like folks. it's been nearly TEN LONG YEARS. let it go. LET IT FUCKING GOOOO#and for the lucy/cooper shippers out there who think reylos are (again) delusional when they compare the two ships:#no. *you* are being delusional only because you think reylo is unsexy and uncool (which is your right to think btw. obv)#if you can't see why someone would like both of these pairings for similar reasons... idk what to say honestly#people compared it to hannigram... honestly. again i see why they would appeal to anyone who's into both ships#i really do. but... unpopular opinion (since i'm more of a clannibal fan than i could ever be of reylo):#they are more similar to reylo than will/hannibal. there i said it#i'm not talking about the writing (admittedly the quality of it was questionable). i'm talking about tropes#never mind that imo the ghoul is more akin to vader than kylo but whatever#hannibal is an unapologetic kind of villain. he's not gonna have a redemption arc and that's okay#cooper is an antivillain who used to be a good man and became a disfigured cruel bastard. a parody of himself#lucy is him. him before the bombs dropped before he discovered the person he trusted the most wanted to commit genocide#nice. moral. polite. infused with the Good Old American Values™. he's basically her dark side#all of this is very hannigram/clannibal. i'm not denying it at all#but what'll likely happen is that lucy's actions will have a positive influence on the ghoul and remind him of what it means to be a man#and that's way more reylo-like. sorry.#beauty&thebeast/villain with some hidden good in him+morally righteous heroine/enemies to lovers etc.#i mean. hello??..... having said that. i'm not so much of a reylo shipper anymore and tbh never was. i really liked it at the time#but i was never fond of the st era. my fav characters are vader and leia and revan from the old eu. just saying#*and* it's also not impossible lucy gets darker with the ghoul as her traveling companion. in fact i wouldn't dislike it at all#if done well i mean#but i would still like for people to be intellectually honest and less puerile. god knows i have my notps#but i really don't give a fuck about the shippers. good for them i guess? i have better taste lmao but that's heavily subjective#val rambles in the tags#val speaks#txt
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wicked-west-cats · 4 months
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Must be rough losing them so young huh?
shadowbelly looking at lil memorial graves of his parents ft itty bitty roachkit unaware of sad things
#shadowbelly#roachshade#lakeclan#warrior cats#warriors oc#hidden lore#i found out today that the man who basically was a second father to me passed away and i guess this mindless doodle was a way for me to cop#some pond lore for you: my dad was an addict when i was growing up and he didnt always know how to properly deal with that#and also be a parent at the same time when i was visiting him + he was in an abusive marriage#so when things were just really bad he would take me to the house of my 'aunt' and 'uncle' who very much helped raise me and take care of m#i have very fond memories of them#and my 'uncle' actually made sure he got a motorcycle so i could ride with him specifically at my dads own memorial ride#he had since stopped riding bikes but it was important to him that HE be the one i ride with because ive ALWAYS been like his fourth kid#he also is the only adult on my dads side that i came out as nonbinary to#i didnt even have to come out he just asked if i was trans/nonbinary and i said yeah and he just said cool ill always love you#idk they think his death was sudden like a heart attack or something but we wont know till after today#my 'aunt' is letting me keep some of his ashes in a necklace so i can have one for both my dad and my “dad”#ill be okay but it just feels really strange right now#we didnt see each other much after i grew up but he made sure i knew that if i ever needed anything i only had to ask#doesnt seem fair to lose two dads in less than three years but i guess it is what it is
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jammyshouse · 4 months
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finally accepting i am a gay man rather than whatever i thought i was is explaining a lot about everything to the point it’s actually making me angry. like man. man i guess it was very fucking obvious to everyone except me huh
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keeps-ache · 5 months
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mm i Neeed to go the beach
#just me hi#wauhuhh !#something about just drifting around in water that i am slightly scared of that really makes my brain whir happily lol :>#i am slightly scared of it for two major reasons: 1) fish. lord the fish why are they so scary 2) sometimes i think i'll drown and they jus#won't find the body. which is less rational than the fish so that's why fish is my number 1 fear at all times lmao#/i think out of all the animals on the planet i am the most scared of ordinary fish. not even the deep sea stuff hfbshv#cuz look they're so far down there you Have to assume they look funked. and also they prolly don't like human meat. so it's cool#but regular fish?? some of them eat birds. they eat birds dude. what would they do to me if they knew how to use harpoons??#also they for SURE eat corpses so we loop back to fear no. 2 really just being fear no. 1 hbfhs#/see i'm not even that scared of the animals my parents are determined on exploding. like man if i get eaten that was prolly bound#to happen anyway. i Know how that goes. i know what mauling is lol#i am the only person in this house who will walk around outside on a moonless light w/ no flashlight because if i was sposed to be dead i#can guaranteE there are much better opportunities. funnier ones‚ too#/just looked it up bobcats are SHY little guys. they are just shy babies. except for when they have rabies :)#shy rabies babies <3#/anyway back to the fish. i don't like how there are some that specifically like to eat human skin. mmm no i have never liked that ever not#one little bit. makes my skin crawl hghfsh#i don't care what it does or can do that is NOT cool lil dude ;w;#/hang on i'm googling 'weirdest things fish eat' because i want to scare myself i guess hbfhvbsf :'3#they're only showing me weird fish!!! no !! tell me about a fish that's living exclusively off of plastics!! or car tires !! come on !!!#these guys are just funky looking. and just Kinda funky looking. though this humphead guy is funny lol :)#he looks scary but with a charm that i can't deny#his forehead. and mouf. this guy is awesome#and of course he's endangered because the world is exploding. but it's so cool he exists :D#//anyway fish are scary. and miss humphead is Huge so goofiness aside he's also scary hhfbvs#also why do some of those motherfunkers swim close to shore and bite at you. those guys suck so bad#that's only happened to me so many times but enough for me to have a fear that has lasted for over half a decade lmao#//and anywho i'm running out of tag space lol :)#we're going ot the park!! i'm going to skate :DD !!#i wanna get good at my old stuff again hfsh - so bye! bye !! toodles !!!
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gay-dorito-dust · 6 months
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How’d they react to you calling them bro or dude whilst in a pre-established relationship…(platonic/romantic)
Dick: he’s insulted.
Gutted.
He will try to give you the silent treatment for such a shameful thing but ultimately fails as he ends up being the one pawing at you for attention.
‘Do you still like me? Or did you just run out of cute nicknames to call me?’ He’d say one night as your both cuddling in bed together. ‘If it’s the later then I can help you find something, just please spare me and don’t call me dude or bro anymore.’
He’d rather you call him Richard-wait, no he hates that even more because to him you’re not meant to use his fully name, only cutesy nicknames that’d make a grown man sick to his stomach. Nothing else would suffice other than Dickie bird, handsome, babe, hunk, honeybun or anything that wasn’t his name.
He’s go mad or would act delusional and say that everything was fine when everyone could tell that it wasn’t. People who know him have personally came to you and begged you to stop calling him dude/bro because he kept talking their ears off about how his beloved partner is torturing him, which ends up torturing them even more upon hearing about his relationship issues.
Dick would even consult Hayley on what he did wrong, only for Hayley to look at him with those big, big eyes of hers. This was not her level of expertise unfortunately. (Head empty, no thoughts. She can’t do her abc’s guys it’s a real tragedy.)
Jason: ‘I just had my tongue down your throat just now and you had to go and ruin the mood by calling me bro. What the fuck.’ - Jason at some point.
It’s a whole mood killer for him to be honest.
He’s calling you things like chipmunk or sweetheart but here you were calling him dude and bro. He knows for a fact that he’s well and truly out of the friend zone because the shit you’ve done together isn’t platonic in any sort of way.
Thinks Roy had set you up to call him dude or bro behind his back. (He hasn’t)
Jason is petty and will get his own back by referring you as ‘just a really good friend’, ‘buddy o’ mine’ or even worse than both of those; ‘chum.’ 💀
When you go low, Jason was more then willing to go to the depths of fucking hell to the point it had become a game to see who’d call out just how stupid this all was, and at the both of you for ever thinking that this was an excellent idea in the first place.
You’ll probs get punished…I’m just going to leave it there and let your minds guess what that ‘punishment’ was exactly.
Damian:
As much as Damian hates it when you call him Dami, he hates it when you call him dude or bro even more, if that’s even possible.
Damian hates it when you call him dude or bro. He’s not your dude or bro, he’s your partner and he expects no less then darling, my heart or my beloved.
So you calling him dude or bro is more than enough reason for him to give you the silent treatment.
‘Until you learn that I am your partner, I won’t want to be anywhere near you if you’re going to keep calling me your bro or dude. It is a disservice to who I actually am to you.’ He says with a huff and beckons Titus to follow, only for the Great Dane to be left confused as to why his human parents were at a disagreement over something silly.
Also Titus, Ace, Jerry, Alfred the cat, Goliath and BatCow are children of divorce because I said so.
So it’s bests that you apologise while you still can because Damian can hold a grudge unlike any other. Even if you didn’t, you’d still crack first before Damian and quickly put an end to calling him dude/bro.
He just thinks being called a dude/bro when in a pre-established relationship is an insult.
He can take a joke but not when it’s aimed at his relationship. He’s well and truly devoted to his relationship -if we’re to completely ignore the whole being Robin thing- that it might as well be an insult towards him too at this point.
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It's me. I'm the cis, heterosexual, aromantic man. I will never marry, I will never be married, I will grow into middle age and elder age and I will die unmarried. I will be forced to support a household of myself on only my wages alone for the rest of my life. I will be asked about women and marriage and children by my family for the rest of my life (or men, the progressive ones might say). I may not ever come out to them. I feel like I burned my coming out on something stupid. I don't want to explain it. I don't want to run them through the definitions and intricacies. I don't want the acceptance without understanding, placating me with ceased questions and poor explanations to other, drunk adults.
I like my hair to be long, I spent a year with it dyed a golden blonde with dark roots because I like the trashy party girl aesthetic. I want to dye it again with pink tips. I like painting my nails, black and blue are my favorite colors. I like wearing chokers. I also like wearing baggy jeans and ratty hoodies. I like having stubble. I like having chest hair. I like having a square jaw and broad shoulders. I wish I had a flatter stomach and a thinner profile frame. I don't know what this makes me, perhaps this is something no more GNC than Machine Gun Kelly. I think about this a lot, how queer my appearance truly is. I should think about it less. I have thought long and hard about if I could be trans or if I could be non-binary or if I could be genderqueer and the conclusion I ultimately came to is that I most enjoy being a man open to whatever self-expression I want.
I don't date, but I've thought about it. I would like to meet people, and I would like to have sex with them. But I don't want to hurt them. I fear if I explain what I am beforehand it'll scare them away. I fear if I explain after they'll feel manipulated or abused. I don't know how many people in the dating scene want what I want. I fear my own lack of experience will make me a bad lay, an embarrassing story to tell to confidants in hindsight. I fear my own virginity, a boundary to those I wish to be like. All of these fears are baseless, as I've not been able to even begin a single relationship in my life. Despite this I still heavily identify with terms like "slut" and "manwhore" and "thot" because my interests lay so deeply within casual sex, sex without great intimacy or emotion. This may be some form of stolen valor. I hope the true sluts are not too mad at me.
I made this blog several years ago because a mutual of mine reblogged memes making fun of aro and ace people, making fun of the concept of aphobia, and in addition well known aphobes. I didn't feel comfortable talking about aro stuff on my main blog, for as little as I talk about it. Living through the ace discourse of the 2016 era has largely caused me to cringe in embarrassment any time I am forced to discuss my orientation with people who aren't aro or ace themselves. I no longer follow this person. I unfollowed many people I was mutuals with from that time, most of them because they posted too often about how much they hated men and I didn't want to see that, some because our interests simply drifted too far apart, only one for explicit aphobia reasons. (Also one because they became a "both sides are bad, any vote is wasted" libertarian, but that's unrelated.)
I guess at this point I don't care deeply about what strangers on the internet think of me. If a trusted friend told me that they don't think I'm truly queer that may hurt. But I am going to continue to use the word for myself. I take up no resources. I go to events that are open to me. If an event was not open to me, I think I'd not want to go anyways. I am not a hypothetical, I am not a strawman, I am a person with lived experiences both within and exterior to the queer community. If you hate me, I will permit you to continue to do so. But ultimately, I am who I am, I cannot change these facts, and I would not choose to do so even if I could.
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reidmania · 2 months
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inbetween | spencer reid
good riddance x spencer reid one shot series master list
summary ; after months over talking over email, you and spencer finally meet in person.
warnings ; reader & spencer fall in love over emails, meeting in person, insecure reader, insecure spencer, worries about not being enough, pretty much just pure fluff tbh.
an ; in between yall. this song. this is the first oneshot in the good riddance x spencer reid one shot series!! while i waiting for the poll to finish!!
part one, part two, part three
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‘I just can't come between 'em, they got their own thing I wish he'd stop pretendin', he won't let his phone ring. For more than a couple seconds, oh, I think maybe two. two hearts just fallin' in and out of love for somethin' new. ‘i wish that you could see 'em, their faces lighten up their past is cold and empty, they know it's been enough of waitin' on somebody, someone who doesn't care but he knows her name, she knows he'll always be there’
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The email rang up at exactly 5:30, exactly when you expected it to. You were sitting at your desk at work, knees pulled to ur chest as you spun on the desk chair. Your coworkers paid no mind to your antics, after working in the safe office for years, with each other. They were used to it by now.
You chewed at your lip as you refreshed your email when the clock changed to exactly 5:30, a wide smile dawned your face when you read the email, you heart ached with longing as your eyes traced over the words on the screen, your stomach tightening and your heart clenching.
Sent from [email protected] at 5:30pm
Hi.
I don’t know when this will send because I’m writing it while on the jet, probably as we get lower and more towards landing, I’ll spare you the scientific details. We only got back from a case this morning, early. Which is why it has taken me so long to reply. Im sorry.
We got a case in Maryland, which I remember you telling me, is where you live. I know I should probably just ask for your phone number but I kind of enjoy the emailing thing. It’s a lot less nerve racking because I can try to pass it off as professional, even though a lot of the time our conversations aren’t.
I actually don’t think we have ever had a professional conversation. Which is a good thing. I really enjoy our conversations no matter what we are talking about. I really enjoy talking to you.
I hope this isn’t too forward but I wanted to know if theres any chance I could see you while I’m in Maryland for this case. I don’t know when it would be or how long I’d be able to see you for, but I do really want to see you. If thats okay with you.
I guess I should give you my number, so you know I’m not some creepy old man. That would be ironic since I work at the FBI and my job is to stop people like that… I don’t know.
Heres my number, 023387677
Love, Spencer.
Your stomach tightened at the idea of seeing him in person. You never admitted it, but you knew he wasn’t an old man, you knew exactly who he was. You made the decision to google his name 6 months ago, when the two of you first started emailing back and forth after he accidentally sent a work email to the wrong person and you replied. It started as just telling him he had sent it to the wrong person, then he thanked you and apologised and made a joke and then the conversation just flowed.
You had been having conversations with Spencer Reid for six months and you felt like you knew more about him than you did yourself. He told you about his day, and about things he had been through, He opened up to you about his addiction and his mom and you opened up to him about your own trauma and issues.
Spencer Reid was your best friend and you had never met him. You had never even heard his voice. You only had seen his face on google when you searched up ‘Spencer reid FBI’ and a photo came up, he looked younger than you assumed in it, seeing the photo was from a few years ago. You felt slightly bad since you knew he could google you and probably come up empty handed — you had the upper hand.
You look at the clock as it inches closer to six o-clock when you finish work. A boring office job, you often complained to Spencer about. It was ironic since his job literally traumatised him, and yet you complained about the boring desk job, although he never ever compared, he would listen and comfort you after a bad day no matter what, just like you did for him.
You don’t reply to the email he sent as you typed the number he sent into your phone, saving the contact under ‘spence’ The nickname that had developed only weeks into the two of you talking. You send him a text, letting him know it was you, saying hi.
“Phone.” You hear your boss, warning you about using your phone at work, you lift your head an apologetic smile on your face as you close your phone, placing it face down on your desk as you close your email and return to your work after muttering out a sheepish, ‘Sorry!’
Spencer is sitting in a conference room of the police station in Maryland. He didn’t know it but he was only two blocks away from the office you worked. He never usually cared to check his phone while working — nothing could be as important as the case.
Until you, until now.
He found himself hanging out to feel the buzz in his pocket, he found himself checking his phone just in case maybe he missed the message. Just in case you did message.
He also checked his email a lot.
“Whats up with boy wonder?” Derek asked as he spun a chair to sit on it backwards, resting his arms on the back of the chair as he looked around at the other team members. Spencer focus on anything other than the case.
“He gave mystery girl his number” Emily said, patting Spencers shoulder softly to get his attention as she walked past him, placing a coffee down in front of him. Spencer noticed how it was his normal order — despite the fact lately he had been getting your order, after he found out what it was. It made him feel a little bit closer to you.
“Oo, Okay lover boy.” Derek hummed approvingly, raising his eyebrow slightly as he looked down at the boy. Spencer sighed as he let back in his chair, tossing his phone on the table as he checked to get no message. “Nothing yet?” Emily asked, knowing Spencer had been stressing since he sent the email on the jet, nearly two hours ago.
He didn’t know it hadn’t even delivered until a few minutes ago.
“Shes probably just busy” Spencer muttered as he checked his watch for the time. 5:33pm, you’d be at work.
Derek shared a look with Emily, both with teasing smiles on their faces. They had watched Spencer obsess over the girl for the past 6 months, even after he tried to hide it for the first few. He did a horrid job, they all noticed him smiling at his computer and typing away more often than ever, they noticed his focus slight adverted. It took a bit but they eventually got it out of him when you didn’t email him back for a week and he was going insane with worry that maybe you were ghosting him, or that you were hurt.
He confided in his team, you emailed him a few days later saying your wifi went down and none of your emails were going through. He was instantly relieved.
His phone buzzed on the table, 5:35pm. His hand instantly reached out for his phone. His eyes widened and his lip twitched upwards as he read the message that lit his screen.
“And lover boy is in” Derek whispered to Emily, loud enough that Spencer could hear that only ended up in Spencer sending him a glare, before typing out a reply and sending it, asking to call you tonight when he got finished.
“Alright, We got a lead” Hotch said entering the room.
You leant against the back of your head board, your hair wet and dripping down the back of your neck as you waited nervously for call to ring through your phone. You were almost terrified of what the conversation might hold. You were glad you were calling before you agreed or disagreed to meeting him, you could feel out whether or not it might be awkward or not.
You almost jumped out of your skin as your phone started ringing, anxiety pooled in your stomach as your skin flushed hot, causing the drops of water on the back of your neck feel as if it was burning the skin. You reached out for your phone that rested on your bed side table, answering the call.
“Hi.” You muttered out a breath of air. You couldn’t even help but smile as the realisation dawned on you. You were talking to Spencer. Finally, actually talking to him.
You heard a harsh breath on the other side of the phone before some shuffling. “Hold on” He mumbled out, you stomach fluttered at his voice as your teeth sunk into your bottom lip as you bit back a smile.
“Okay.” You said, you heard some more shuffling before the sound of a door closing, then a creek. And then a breath.
“Hi” He settled on, you sat up a bit, crossing your legs as his word came out almost breathy and nervous. It made your chest thump against your ribcage so much it ached. “Sorry— I should’ve waited till I was in my hotel room to call, I was excited— Sorry” He said.
You could hear the nerves in his voice and all it did was make your cheeks beat a rosy hue. “It’s okay. I was nervous” You admit softly, you try to hide the slight embarrassment in your voice but it fails you as your words come out small.
You hear him chuckle. You think the sound genuinely makes your mind fall empty of any coherent thoughts. “You don’t have to be nervous” He spoke so softly as if his words were an exhale he had been holding in.
“But I am” You muttered.
“Me too.” He said honestly. You found comfort in the fact he cared enough about this interaction to be nervous about it. You went to run your hand through your hair but paused with you felt the coldness — it was still very wet from your shower.
“Good” You sighed out, voice almost a whisper. You didn’t know why you were speaking so quietly, there was no one else in your house. There was no reason to be as quiet as you were.
“Is good that I’m nervous?” Spencer asked, you could hear the teasing in his voice. It made your head spin and the words get caught as you shook your head, before remembering he couldn’t see you.
“Yes- No- no. No.” You muttered out, “Its uh- Its not good that your nervous— I- Its just good that you care” You scrambled out, stuttering over your words as you grew flustered. It made you want to turn into your pillow and scream.
You heard him laugh, making your face screw up. “Shut up.” You muttered out as it didn’t take a genius to figure out he was laughing at you scrambling over your words, your free hand came up to cover your face as your cheeks felt on fire.
“No- Im sorry. Im sorry. Of course I care, you know I care” He said softly as he collected his laughter, his voice dripping honesty for a moment as he spoke genuinely in a way that made your knees feel weak — Thank god you weren’t standing. You were silent for a moment as a smile dawned on your face.
“Tell me about your day.” He requested gently. You heard some more shuffling you could only assume he was getting comfortable in bed. You pictured it and it made your stomach burn with longing. Wishing it wasn’t just an image in your head.
And you did, you told him about your day and he told you about yours; the conversation flowed simply and sweetly from then on. He teased you whenever you stuttered over your words, you could hear the smile in his voice as he spoke.
You and him spoke until your voice was quiet and drowsy with sleep, until your eyes were fluttering shut and you went unresponsive for a moment before he asked if you were asleep and you would wake up to the sound of his voice, muttering out a no, to which he would chuckle, and tell you to go to sleep.
When you fell asleep, he waited ten minutes to make sure you were really asleep before hanging up. His heart full as he fell asleep smiling.
Sorry I fell asleep. If i didn’t throw you off completely and you still want to see me, im free any day after 6, when i finish work.
Spencer smiled at the message. The acceptance. You were accepting meeting him, seeing him. He couldn’t fathom the idea of anything you doing ever throwing him off. You had wiggled your way into his chest months ago, and you stayed consuming every part of him everyday since. He didn’t see that changing any day soon, or ever.
He sent you an address to a bar Derek suggested the team going to after work. He didn’t know if maybe it was too forward, or might be awkward with his team there, but at least if it didn’t go well there was people around.
He closed his phone as he waited for your reply, his mind replaying the conversation he had with you last night, how sweet you sounded, how your laugh made his heart clench, how whenever you said his name or spoke a little louder he felt light headed, unable to focus on anything but you.
There was anxiety in his stomach when he realised the two of you never quite talked about what it all meant. What the months of conversation back and forth was. He realised he didn’t know what you wanted. What you expected.
Maybe you just saw him as a friend, maybe to you the conversation is nothing more than friendly. Honestly, if that was the case Spencer didn’t think he would be able to deny you of that. He would do anything to keep you in his life, even if it caused a slight ache in his chest. He had told you things he couldn’t imagine telling anyone else, he trusted you in a way he didn’t know possible, and it may be stupid, maybe naive, but Spencer didn’t care.
The way he felt for you took over any ounce of doubt in his mind, it overtook the insecurity welling in his mind, that maybe you wouldn’t like him, not the way he liked you.
He had never felt so much for a person. He had never felt so much point blank. He could hardly fathom you feeling for him near the amount he felt for you.
Your hands traveled over your jeans softly as your palms grew sweaty as you stepped inside the bar. Thanking the guy you held it open for you as he walked out. You were instantly overwhelmed by the amount of people, the music playing and the people chatting. You probably should have gotten changed first instead of coming straight after work but you were too nervous and didn’t want to give yourself time to dwindle in your insecurities then chicken out.
You manoeuvred your way through the people, quiet apologies leaving your lips as you looked around for Spencer, or anyone who looks like they might be an FBI agent.
What does an FBI agent look like? you thought, as you let out a sigh, finally getting out of the crowd of people as you got to the back of the bar, a lot more free of space. A few people around, standing at tables. You skimmed over for a moment as you tried to catch any glimpse of the boy that you could.
You heard your name, making you spin on your heels. You saw a dark haired girl smiling at you. Well that isn’t spencer.
“Yes?” You said, smiling at her as you tried to hide the anxiety building in your veins. Your hand coming to push hair off your face softly as you try to focus on the girl in front of you. She grins widely, “Spencer is over there, you looked like you were looking for someone…” She said, my smile instantly widened as you looked over to where she nudged her head.
your breath got caught in your throat as your eyes settled on him, the photo didn’t do him justice in any way. His hair was messy and slightly grown out, he was engrossed in a conversation with who you could only assume was Derek Morgan, who Spencer had told you about. His tie was crooked in his suit as he lifted his arm to sip the drink in his hand.
you tear my eyes away as you look at the lady who is smiling at you. “Happy with that?” She asks. It takes you a moment to recognise her as Emily, whom Spencer had also told you about. You can hardly put it into words how your chest feels like its gonna explode as your heart thumps.
“He is gorgeous.” You breathe out, shaking your head as words fail you, your eyes trail back to him for a moment to see him laughing, you see his head turn towards the door, as if he is waiting for you to walk through them.
Emily smiles, patting your shoulder softly, “Cmon Mystery girl” She said, you pay little attention to the nickname as she encourages you to walk towards the table with her. Your legs feel like Jelly with every step that you take, your stomach twisting in the familiar feeling of anxiety.
When she pauses at the table your breath hitches. “Oi Reid” She mutters, both he and Derek turns their head towards her, “Look who I found” She says softly, hand brushing over your shoulder.
Spencers eyes skip over to yours and you watch an emotion pull his features. An emotion you can’t quite place and it makes your stomach ache at the uncertainty, insecurity creeping up the back of your neck.
“Hi” You breathe out as you look at him. Theres a moment of silence before he is pushing away from the table and walking around to you. His arms around you the moment you are in reach and it makes your muscles tense slightly before relaxing completely in his hold as you wrap your arms around his neck, hugging him back.
Emily and Derek watch in amusement for a moment, smiling when they see the look on Spencer’s face. The one you couldn’t place the one they knew all too well.
He was in love.
He was in love before seeing you, he knew that but watching you stand there grinning at him made him all the more sure about it. His hand rested on your waist as he pulled back from the hug to look at your face.
“Hi” He whispered back.
You chewed at your lip at you bit back the wide smile that tried to force its way into your features. His hand traveled up to your face before he could stop it hand cupping your face gently.
You eased, leaning into his touch the warmth of his hand feeling gentle against the soft skin of your cheek. “Y-You- I- Hi.” He stuttered this time.
You grinned, “Cat got your tongue?” You ask, teasing him like he would every-time you stuttered over the phone. He just grins in response.
“No. You’re beautiful” He said, eyes dancing over your face, he looked at you like he was trying to memories every little detail. Your stomach tightens and your knees felt weak as the compliment left his mouth. You had been told that before, but it felt different coming from him. He said it with honesty and sincerity.
“So are you” You said back before hugging him tightly again. He didn’t complain at all, instead his arms fell tightly around your waist as he held you against him, as if he was scared that if he let go you would disappear.
The night went on, you stayed by spencer’s side, his hand on yours or around your shoulder gently as if he couldn’t get enough of the feeling of you being next to him. You never complained — you took it all as a compliment and leant into his touch.
“Are you cold?” Spencer asked as you and him walked outside of the bar, hand in hand. he noticed the way you shivered as the cold hair hit the skin of your bare arms. You turn your head to look up at him, the look in his eye enough to make your chest clench around the fat of your heart.
“A little” You admit. It was nothing you couldn’t handle, but spencer was instantly pulling off his suit jacket for you, slugging it gently over your shoulders as the two of you walked down the street. You paused in your steps as you looked up at him.
“Thank you.” You say.
“Its okay- I don’t want you to be cold” He said softly. You couldn’t help but smile at his kindness, but you shook your head. “For that too— But I meant, for asking to see me. Thank you for thinking of me when you heard about where the case was — for talking to me everyday. Thank you for being my best friend Spence” You said softly as you lean against your car as you and him stop in front of it.
His lip twitches upwards into a smile as his hand drops yours instead resting softly on your lips. “I always think of you.” He admits, eyes on yours.
Your breath gets caught in the back of your throat. “Spencer.” You say softly.
He looks at you, really looks at you. He is seeing you. He is seeing every little thing you have told him over the last six months, every little detail about you there was to know, and all he could think about was he wanted more, he wanted to know you more.
“Yeah?” He says, his voice a whisper.
You feel anxiety pool in your stomach as the question lingers on the tip of your tongue. There was a pull towards him you couldn’t ignore, the same pull you felt when you received his email, six months, 2 weeks and 3 days ago. You’d count the hours but you figured that was more his style.
“You can say no, I want you to know that” You said, you wanted to make it perfectly clear that his response to this was completely up to him and you didn’t want to feel pressured. “Can I kiss you?” You ask.
His lips are on yours before you can even finish the question. One hand of his travelling to the small of your back to bring you in closer while the other tangles in your hair, cradling the back of your neck. Your hands instantly cup his face as you press your lips against him. Your lips together saying more than words ever could.
This, right here, him, right now.
It was everything and more.
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unclewaynemunson · 1 year
Text
“I need to tell you something.”
Shitfuckno. Eddie doesn't even know why he's still surprised. This is how it always goes, after all. He should probably just give up and stop dating altogether – again.
Steve looks at him exactly as ominously as the words I need to tell you something require. Perfect Steve. Funny Steve. Sweet Steve. Sexy Steve. Steve, who Eddie had genuinely believed to be different.
Eddie sighs, barely suppressing a dark chuckle while he turns away from that perfect face. He doesn't want to look at Steve when he'll tell him the undoubtedly messed-up shit he's about to spill.
“Lemme guess, you're married?” That was what the last guy he dated told him, seven months after they got to know each other. It can't be much worse than that, can it?
Steve grabs Eddie's hand, causing him to involuntarily jerk up his head and meet his eyes.
“How did you know?”
Jesus H. Christ. Not again.
Eddie roughly pulls his hand out of Steve's grip and laughs a joyless laugh.
“Apparently I'm a good guesser.”
He stands up from the park bench the two of them had been sharing. “Well, Steve, this has been a blast. You should go back to your wife, or husband – don't tell me, I don't even wanna know – and I should um, get going. Maybe tell the next person right away what they'll be getting themselves into. Would save them a lot of wasted time, just in case cheating and going around other people's backs isn't really their thing, y'know.”
“Eddie, wait, let me explain!”
Eddie picks up his pace, but Steve, stubborn as he is, easily keeps up with him.
“I'm really not interested, man.”
“It's not – I'm not cheating on her!”
“Okay, so you have an open marriage, good for you. Still the kind of information you could've shared with me, say, three months ago, don't you think?”
“She's a lesbian.”
And that makes Eddie freeze on the spot. It takes Steve two steps before he realizes Eddie has stopped moving; he walks backwards until he's standing right in front of Eddie.
“She's my best friend,” he says, immediately using Eddie's stunned silence to his advantage. “Robin, my roommate – I told you all about her. We wanted to buy a house together and that turned out to be very complicated when you're not... Well, when you're not romantically involved. So we got married. For the, um, practical reasons. We never – we're like siblings. I love her like a sister. But she's also my wife. Platonically.”
It takes a few seconds until Steve's words sink in. Then, Eddie leaps forward and basically collapses into Steve's arms, needing to hold onto him to prevent himself from crashing to the ground.
Steve's arms are warm, strong, and as safe as ever.
“Eddie, are you okay?” Steve asks softly. His lips brush against Eddie's ear while he speaks, and worry colors his voice.
Perfect Steve. Too-good-to-be-true Steve.
“Jesus Christ, Steve,” is the only thing Eddie manages to say.
“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you,” Steve says. “It's just – I've gotten some, um... Less than ideal reactions, in the past, whenever I told this when I was seeing someone. So I thought it'd be better to wait until things were getting serious.” He sighs, tangling his fingers in Eddie's hair. “I didn't wanna scare you off. Are we – are you okay?”
Eddie nods. He lifts his head from where it's resting against Steve's shoulder and raises his hands to squeeze them around Steve's face.
“We're okay,” he says. “And I'm sorry I didn't want to listen to you. I–” He stops; he can't find the words right away. It's still difficult to talk about those things; to let himself be vulnerable. But Steve has been honest with him, so it's only fair to return the favor.
“I've been hurt, Steve,” he confesses. “More than once. I've had some really shitty experiences with dudes not being honest with me. I thought that that was what was happening again, and I couldn't – I couldn't go through that again. Especially not with you.”
“Jesus, Eddie, I'm so sorry.”
“It's okay,” Eddie rushes to say, pulling Steve even closer towards him. “I trust you.” And as soon as these words leave his mouth, he knows it's the truth.
“I do want to be absolutely clear about one thing, though,” Steve says.
Eddie leans back in Steve's arms to give him an expectant look.
“Robin is my wife. I'm not planning on that to change anytime soon. We've been through a lot together. She's been the most important person in my life for years. We own a house and a dog together, and I love her more than anything. I like you a lot, and I promise you I'm all-in with you, but... Robin is still my number one. And that's not gonna change overnight. I need you to be okay with that.”
Eddie swallows. He looks into Steve's eyes. All he sees is a man who is honest, who loves his friends deeply, and who refuses to make any compromises when it comes to love – whether it be the platonic or the romantic kind.
It doesn't scare Eddie off; it only makes him fonder of Steve.
He smiles, glances around to check if they're alone, and presses a quick kiss against Steve's lips.
“I think I can live with that,” he says. “As long as I'm the only one who gets to do this.” He closes his eyes and lets his lips meet Steve's again.
The sigh that Steve breathes into their tentative kiss is one filled with relief.
4K notes · View notes
55szn · 5 months
Text
always and forever - cs55
carlos sainz x fem!reader smau
summary an instagram timeline of carlos and yn’s 8 years long relationship warnings too much fluff fc dua lipa taglist @jaydaaasworld notes i have more requests to get to but i’ve had this idea for a while and let’s just say i needed to write some carlitos fluff🥲
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INSTAGRAM
carlossainz55
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liked by pierregasly, yourusername and 10.302 others
carlossainz55 Always a good time with this one 😜❤️
tagged yourusername
view all 52 comments
yourusername t quiero Carlitosss (love you)
carlossainz55 te quiero más ynnnn (love you more)
user scrolled all the way down to carlos first post and of couse it’s yn
user he’s always been so in love with her is so cute
user so pretty
april 20, 2016
yourusername
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liked by carlossainz55, yourbsf and 4.291 others
yourusername Feliz cumpleaños a mi persona favorita 💕😘 #birthdayboy (Happy birthday to my favorite person)
tagged carlossainz55
view all 43 comments
carlossainz55 muchas gracias preciosa 💓😘 thank u so much beautiful
yourusername por muchos más cumpleaños juntos 💘 here’s to many more birthdays together
yourbsf feliz cumpleaños!!
user so we are all just stalking their instagrams after their last post, right?
user how can you not
user and they posted each other sooo often it’s so sweet
user i’ve been a fan of carlos for so long and they’ve ALWAYS been there for each other i love yn
september 1, 2017
carlossainz55
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liked by yourusername, fernandoalo_official and 24.289 others carlossainz55 Quick getaway to celebrate two years and counting with my soulmate by my side 🌅❤️
tagged yourusername
view all 98 comments
yourusername oh carlitos 🥺
yourusername you sure know how to make a girl swoon
yourusername i’ll love you forever <3
user STAWWWWPP
user his caption and her comments i might die 😣
user they’ve been together for a lifetime oh my god
august 15, 2018
yourusername
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liked by carlossainz55, landonorris and 12.210 others
yourusername my boy and his new boyfriend 🙄
tagged carlossainz55, landonorris
view all 73 comments
landonorris sorry i’m just that charming 💁🏻
yourusername he was mine first 😠
carlossainz55 don’t fight i’ll choose yn anyway
landonorris damn 💔
user bro was so down bad he couldn’t even play along to the joke
user omg i never knew it was yn who posted these iconic carlando pics
user well it makes sense she’s carlando’s no. 1 fan
user supporting her boyfriend’s boyfriend iktr 😌
may 22, 2019
carlossainz55
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liked by landonorris, yourusername and 368.291 others
carlossainz55 i would have gone insane without you during this crazy year, feliz año nuevo mi amor😘💘 (happy new year my love)
tagged yourusername
view all 1.308 comments
yourusername gotta admit quarantine sucked a little bit less with you by my side
carlossainz55 just a little? 😏
yourusername okay maybe it didn’t suck at all 🤐
user oh to be carlos a be able to lay on yn all day long
user she looks so cute in the third pic 🥺
user from when they were FINALLY (yn’s words) able to see each other after spending two weeks apart 😭
user most in love mfs i’ve ever seen
december 31, 2020
yourusername
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liked by carlossainz55, scuderiaferrari and 15.291 others
yourusername already knew he looked good in red but thanks for the confirmation @ scuderiaferrari 😝
tagged carlossainz55
view all 119 comments
carlossainz55 you’re making me blush ☺️
scuderiaferrari you’re more than welcome yn! 😌
user this pic is so sjdiaq
user i don’t want to speak of the things i would do if carlos looked at me like that with those big ass eyes 🫠
user yn is such a lucky girl
user SHE is lucky??!?!? have you seen her??? carlos should be thanking every god above
user i’m pretty sure he does that everyday 😭
march 12, 2021
carlossainz55
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liked by yourusername, maxverstappen1 and 456.412 others
carlossainz55 guess i’m a tatted man now, i just can’t say no to that face 😶
tagged yourusername
view all 1.302 comments
yourusername you have to admit it’s pretty cute
carlossainz55 whatever you say🫡
user oh my god carlos get up!!
landonorris i don’t think that’s enough ink to call yourself a tatted man mate
yourusername maybe i should make another appointment 🤔
carlossainz55 don’t give her ideas you muppet 🤦🏻
user i didn’t know they had matching tattoos that’s so cute 😭
user sleeping on the highway tonite
october 17, 2022
yourusername
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liked by carlossainz55, lilymhe and 732.819 others
yourusername how could i say no when my date looked like that? 🤭
tagged carlossainz55
view all 3.995 comments
carlossainz55 can’t wait to spend forever with you mi amor ❤️
maxverstappen1 congratulations you two! 😘😘
carmenmmundt so so thrilled for you both! love you 🫶🏻
yourusername i love you my girl, get ready to try on a loooot of dresses 😅
user EVERYONE remembers where they were when this post dropped
user i remember dropping my phone on my face when i opened instagram
user i cried happy tears, had been waiting for that day for years 🥹
august 15, 2023
carlossainz55
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liked by yourusername, georgerussell63 and 3.281.819 others
carlossainz55 can’t believe i finally get to call you my wife. just you and me, always and forever, te amo yn ❤️
tagged yourusername
view all 10.371 comments
yourusername te amo y te amaré por siempre, mi carlitos (i love you and i’ll you forever, my carlitos)
user “mi carlitos” oh god i’m sobbing
landonorris congratulations, you two were made for each other ! 🥰
yourusername your boyfriend is now my husband 😜
landonorris don’t even remind me about it.
charles_leclerc so happy for you two ❤️❤️
user can’t believe i’ve been following carlos since the beggining of their relationship and now they’re married
user omg don’t even talk to me abt it i feel like a proud mother
september 28, 2024
the end
1K notes · View notes
misctf · 5 days
Text
Make it Make Sense
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Adam sat at his computer, finishing up a calculus assignment. He was trying to stay focused, but his thoughts shifted to his weekend plans. A few of his buddies were going to get together to see the football game, and he was looking forward to his club soccer game on Sunday. For all intents and purposes, it was going to be perfect.
“Are you serious?” The nasally voice of Adam’s roommate interrupts his thoughts, “I don’t understand, this doesn’t make sense.” Kelvin says, irritation soaking his words.
“What’s wrong?” Adam asks, turning towards his nerdy roommate. There were nerds and then there’s Kelvin. At first, he was relieved to have a roommate that was going to focus on their studies. But Kelvin proved to be more of a distraction than he could’ve ever expected.
“You know what’s wrong!” Kelvin says, “Look!” He slams his most recent lab report on Adam’s desk, “A 91%! That’s an A-.” He grumbles.
“That’s a great grade.”
“No, no, no! You got a 96%!” He continues, “How did you get a higher grade than me?”
You shrug, “It’s not that big of a deal. You’ll do better next time. And I know people that would kill for that grade.” Adam says, turning back to his assignment.
“No. That still doesn’t answer my question.” Kelvin adjusts his glasses, “How did you get a better grade?”
Adam runs a hand through his brunette hair, “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’re not supposed to be smart.” Kelvin retorts, “You like football and you play sports. Smart people don’t do that.” Adam raises an eyebrow, “You can’t be both.”
Adam chuckles, “Both?”
“A nerd and a jock!”
Adam smirks, “Alright, well why can’t I be both?”
“You can only be one.” Kelvin insists.
“Only one?” Adam chuckles. He wasn’t what one would consider a jock. Nor was he a total nerd. He always felt he was somewhere in the middle, “Hate to break it to you, but I’m not much of either. What do you think?”
Kelvin gave his roommate a curious look, clearly thinking hard about the question. He slowly smiles.
“Well, I guess all jocks have big muscles. And I mean, those are certainly impressive.”
Adam raises an eyebrow and looks down at himself. He could see his biceps and triceps putting strain on his shirt. And his pecs seemed to be jutting out a bit more than he was used to. He lifts a hand and feels his muscular chest. It felt unfamiliar to him.
“What...?”
“And I guess it makes sense that you never wear a shirt. Jocks hate hiding their muscles.”
The chill of the room air tickled Adam’s skin, his eyes narrowing as his bare torso is on full display. Wasn’t he just wearing a shirt? He looks up at Kelvin, clearly trying to make sense of what was going on.
“Wow, I mean, I knew your muscles were big, but now I can really see them.”
Adam grunted as his musculature expands. His pecs filling with more muscle, while his biceps and triceps grew larger and larger. He let out a pained grunt as his shoulders broaden and his back fills with muscle. He frame a now hulking mass of manly muscle.
“And I always found it odd how often you shaved your body hair. Always going on about how being clean shaven helps highlight your pecs.”
Adam looked down and watched as his dusting of chest and belly hairs vanish. His skin now clean-shaven and slowly staining with a rich tan. A tan he got from all his shirtless runs. Shirtless runs? He shakes his head.
“Kelvin, wh... something isn’t right, bro.” Adam’s eyes widen, “Dude, seriously! Cut this out, bro!”
“Say ‘bro’ and ‘dude’ ironically enough times and soon it becomes part of your vernacular.” Kelvin mocked, “But I doubt you’re worried about that. You care more about finding the right lighting for a quick flex.”
Adam gasps as he feels compelled. He slowly flexes his bicep, the lighting perfectly highlighting his musculature and abs. He can’t help but grin.
“And I can tell you care even less for hygiene.”
Adam grimaces at the musky smell that wafts from his exposed pit. But slowly, his grimace shifts into a grin. Something about his man musk always brings him a sense of joy. The smell of a real man. He barely registers his brunette hair becoming lighter, until the brunette becomes a blonde.
“Yeah, a blond jock. That’s what makes the most sense.” Kelvin continues, “But outside of flexing and enjoying your own stench, I guess it would make sense if you were obsessed with...”
“W-wait!” Adam says suddenly, “Please... Kelvin...” He looks desperately at his roommate.
“Don’t worry, it’ll all make sense.” Kelvin reassures, “Because jocks like you are dumber than a lamppost. Barely even able to do basic math. So obsessed with your body that you don’t have time to nourish your brain.”
Adam’s eyes widen as he can literally feel his brain shrinking. His intelligence, knowledge, and kindness quickly being overwritten. His school smarts replaced by gym routines and different poses. His empathy and kindness twisting into self-indulgence and narcissism. His eyes glaze over as they reflect his new IQ. A smirk forms on his chiseled face as brazen overconfidence overwhelms any semblance of decency. He looks up at Kelvin.
“The fuck you lookin’ at nerd?” He scoffs, “You like what you see, bro?” He flexes his biceps.
Kelvin smiles, “Don’t you have soccer practice?”
“Pfft soccer, bro? Really? Shit sport. I gotta lift.” Adam retorts. He looks over at his computer, “What the fuck is that?” He quickly exits out of his calculus assignment and stands up.
“Wait, Adam...”
“Adam? Nah bro. I’ve told you 100 fuckin’ times to call me AJ.”
“Right. AJ,” Kelvin says, “Don’t you need a shirt for the gym?”
The dumb chuckle that follows is music to Kelvin’s ears, “Nah bro, why’d I hide this?” He flexes again, “Trust me, the dudes and chicks at the gym dig this.”
Kelvin watches as AJ slams the door behind him. A grin forming on the nerd’s face. Everything made sense now. And while Kelvin celebrated his newfound comfort with reality, AJ took great pride in the looks he was getting from the people he passed by. Flaunting his muscles at every chance he got. His smaller brain satisfied with the attention. His dick twitching from the excitement of being lusted after. Because to him, this made sense. Who wouldn’t want to ogle over his hot bod? That’s right, no one.
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Text
˖✧ Through my eyes
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✦ Pairing: Arthur Morgan x Fem!Reader ✦ Summary: Karen explains Mary and Arthur's story to you. Saddened, you're convinced you could never compete with her until the man in question proves you wrong. ✦ Warnings/Tags: Self-depreciation from both sides, kissing, comfort, fluff. Reader has been with the gang for a year. Use of Y/N. ✦ Words: 2,8k ✦ a/n: This is the answer to this ask by the lovely @crystalofmoon19. I really hope you'll like it, dear! And thank you for your support, you've been really sweet to me and my work! As always, I got carried away and wrote way too much. And as always, please reach out to me if you spot any misspellings. Also idk why I made this in Colter, guess I just feel way too hot rn and want some fresh snow + Arthur's coat is perfect for comfort. Credits. Arthur's pic is from my playthrough. Other pics are not mine found them on Pinterest.
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“And in the end, she rejected his proposal, then a few months later, sent him a letter telling she was marrying some wealthier gentleman!”
Your mouth hangs open in the air. Karen’s words enter through your ears and create a nice little nest for themselves in your brain. You had no idea. No idea Arthur had been this close to being married. That their relationship had been so strong, that, according to hearsays, he had reached his lowest after their break up, drunk most part of the day, fighting the rest of the time, obnoxious to everyone, even Dutch and Hosea.
“Y/N? You’re okay, there?” Karen asked you, disappointed her big reveal had left you reactionless.
You focused your gaze back on her. Her blonde hair is softly litten up by the setting sun, her breath exhaling a puff of steam as she breathes. Colter is a cold place, and it probably felt even colder because of the morose mood of the gang. You suddenly remember you’re supposed to be shocked. You are, of course, but in a very bad way. Not in an “Oh my God, I can’t believe this Karen, so much gossip!” kind of way.
How could you ever compete with that?
“Yeah, I’m alright. God, I had no idea so much happened between them.”
“Oh, trust me, it was definitely his biggest love story. Never saw him get into someone else after her. Not even Mary-Beth! Could you believe that?”
No, you couldn’t. You weren’t sure why but every word from Karen felt like an enormous stone falling into your belly and dragging you deeper and deeper into the sea. Your silly little crush on Arthur, when you first joined the gang a year ago, had turned into a way stronger attraction. Denying it at first, you had little by little let your emotions win, cherishing every moment with him, thanking Dutch for assigning both of you to the same missions, loving the quiet evenings where he would just sit next to you around the campfire to scribble in his journal while you would do your little hobby on your own. Silent most, but enjoying each other’s company, and so, so peaceful.
More than your emotions, you even had let your imagination take the lead, dreaming about a selfish future with him, seeing it every time he would give you a smile, or laugh at one of your jokes. A happy Arthur, relieved from his obligations, enjoys life's simplest joys. A house, a garden. Maybe a dog, considering he had loved having Copper. A marriage even. And why not a child? If he would feel ready. Something in you was telling you he would be a good father.
But now, you felt like this dream was rotten, condemned.  Like a broken match. The fire, the very thing it’s designed for,  not being able to be lit. Would never be lit. A wasted potential.
You tried to continue your gossiping chat with Karen, voice light but gaze elusive as you peeled the potatoes you were supposed to prepare while discussing, tedious tasks often ended up less difficult this way when you were working with the other girls. But behind your seemingly normal smile and hollow words, a haunting thought was hanging on to you as strongly as a rock trapped in a thousand-year-old iceberg. 
Arthur never fell in love again after Mary Linton.
Night had definitely fallen on the frozen mountains. After your endless vegetables centered-chores, you had helped Mr. Pearson turning them into a decent meal, his incessant blattering about the Navy giving you some sort of distraction. During dinner and after though, once you didn’t have any goal or job left to do for the day, your conversation with Karen came back into your wandering mind, her speech playing again and again like a used gramophone record.
Never fell in love again...
Sitting at one of the corners of the big cabin you had been sleeping in for the past few days along with the girls and some other gang members which mainly served as a common space, you were looking outside by a dilapidated window. A frozen World spread out before your eyes, every inch of surface covered in snow and ice, the landscape ending up looking like it was coated with a thick strange substance —dark blue colors Queen of this gloomy, misty horizon.
Arthur had returned from a very busy hunting day with Charles. Thanks to them, meat had been added to the vegetable paradise of a meal, resulting in a better-than-usual supper. He should have felt cheerful, but his mood wouldn't lighten. 
He had spotted you from across the room, noticing the hurtful absence of your smile on these sweet lips of yours. Smile he secretly loved. Lips he secretly fancied. 
Hesitating for a long moment, debating with himself, a self-depreciative rambling turning in his head like a well-oiled motor, he had ultimately decided to join you and investigate. Something pretty important must been bothering you, because loosing your usual little grin and eating your plate all by yourself really wasn't in your habits.
Approaching you, his boots and spurs clicking and stomping before you could see him, he plants them in front of you, standing there while his eyes lock on your face.
“Miss Y/L/N? Is everythin’ okay?”
“Oh, Mr Morgan. Yeah, don’t worry. Everything is great.”
He doesn’t believe you and honestly, you wouldn’t have convinced yourself either. And Arthur is a stubborn man. A stubborn, and caring one. He leans against the cabin's old creaky walls, on the other side of the window.
“Come on, don’t lie t’me girl. Everyone noticed you’re not in your right mind.” He honestly doesn’t know about everyone, but he surely did. His words are accompanied by a small, polite smile.
“I don’t think… I don’t think you’re the right person to talk about it.”
Arthur’s entire body froze. The hands he had on his belt as always when he was comfortable, flew to his chest as he crossed his arms, his thick winter coat folding with difficulty. His encouraging smile flattened, his brows pleating in a harsh frown.
“Erm… Alright, I get it. I won’t bother you, I guess.” 
Without loosening his arms, he pushed himself from the wall, taking a step to leave you some space. You couldn’t have missed it. This change of behavior, the hurtful expression he had displayed, as if he was truly pained by your words. Disappointed, maybe even shameful to have thought he could help you at all. He was just a sad, ugly bastard, after all.
You felt like you could hear all of it from where you were, and see it in the shadow that had taken his face and the gigantic mass that seemed to have fallen on his shoulders.
No, you didn’t want this. Didn’t want him to feel like that because of you and your stupid feelings, or your own dark thoughts.
“Wait, Arthur!”
He turned around the second you talked again.
“I’m sorry it’s just…” You sigh and look at him with an uncertain expression, knowing your next words were going to be risky. “It’s about you and Mary Linton…”
His eyes turn into two literal plates, his mouth slightly opening in outer astonishment. This was really not what he had in mind. You could have been sad because of a hundred logical reasons, the death of Davey and the loss of Sean and Mac, the complete fiasco of Blackwater, the hundred of dollars lost, the terrible and tough conditions of the Grizzlies plunging everyone into an unbearable cold and a threatening famine.  Not mentioning Hosea’s alarming coughing, Dutch’s mysterious decisions, and Micah as a whole.
But you, out of all these things, were worried about Mary.
Once his eyes had grown as round as they could, they got back into an interrogative expression, the wave of surprise over.
“Wha’…?! How d’ya even know ‘bout her?”
“Karen speaks a lot when she’s bored…” You briefly explained, trying to sound detached.
Arthur rolls his eyes to the Heavens. Of course, folks talked, and you had to know about it all at some point. But this wasn’t ideal at all. He would have preferred to tell it to you himself, at a time he would have felt comfortable doing so, with his own words. He didn’t want this to change anything between the two of you.
“And erm… What exactly bothers ya?”
You open your mouth to speak, but your words are jammed. Explaining that you feel jealous of what the both of them had shared would just come down to confessing your feelings for him plain and simple. 
You felt completely stuck. 
He’s right there before your eyes, the very source of all your worries and your every joy. Looking at you with those confused blue eyes, wondering what is happening in this pretty head of yours. But the words still won’t come out.  You feel more and more powerless, and instead of a sound, your eyes take over to get something out of your body, slow and sad tears filling them like a lonely glacier fills a mountain lake on its own.
Arthur’s usual frown furrows, his wrinkles more visible, contrasted by the shadows from the warm lights of the fire. Suddenly, his internal melancholic speech shuts down, as if the view of a single tear streaming down your cheek were absolutely intolerable to him. No worries nor anxious self-restraints crosses his mind —it’s now only instinct. He sees you crying. He has to help you. This is as easy as that.
His right hand reaches to you by itself.
It feels warm but coarse. This big, big hand on the side of your face.
“Oh, Y/N. Don’t waste those pretty tears for a sour-faced idiot like me.” His thumb gently wipes the drops of sadness that had overflowed from your two delicate lakes. “Come on, les’ jus’ talk about this somewhere quiet.”
Arthur gently uses the hand he had on your cheek to wrap it around your shoulders, solid arm gently pushing you up. He then leads you through the door, other members throwing curious gazes at the both of you.
But he doesn’t care. His priority, right now, is your well-being, and some privacy to allow him to finally whisper things in your ears he should have a long time ago. Not in front of everyone. Not with the other men looking at your sparkling eyes, and listening to the change in his voice he knew would crack, his usual intimidating persona crushed into a million pieces with only the sound of your own. Or with the other girls hearing the oh-so-important words he had to say. No. You would be the only one to witness this. 
He had brought you to the barn where the horses were kept. The snow was falling lazily, a few flakes passing through the holes in the dilapidated roof. The place is enveloped in a heavy silence, as if it was muffling every sound coming from the outside.
Once Arthur had closed the big wooden doors behind you and before he could do anything else, you finally burst.
“I shouldn't cry, I’m so sorry Arthur, I just… She looked like an incredible woman, so beautiful a-and distinguished, and me well… I'm just… me.” Your eyes fell to your feet. You like everything was coming out of you all at once and you couldn't contain it anymore.
“Stop it.” 
“How could I ever mean something to you? You've been with her for so long and even proposed to her and… and never fell in love again after her and…”
“Stop it, Y/N!”
Arthur cut your blabbering panic by pulling you against him. He held you so tightly you were almost crushed by his powerful arms, but it felt so good. Like he was holding together all the little pieces of you that had cracked, melting them with his warmth and molding yourself again with it.
“Now you l’sten to me, sweetheart. I don’t want ya to say things like this ever again.”
The sudden use of the pet name soothed your heart immediately. You buried your face into the furred collar of his big winter coat, the hairs tickling your nose. There, you can feel a little bit of his bare skin, your cheek finding shelter against it.
You stopped talking.
You just wanted him to continue to. His deep voice seemed to come directly from the inside of his chest, and you could feel it vibrating before actually hearing it.
“Ya know I’m no… Am no poet or, or good with words like Dutch…” He started, visibly unsure of what he was going to say. He’s relieved he had initiated the hug, this way, with your face in there, you couldn’t see his. The worried expression it was carrying, like a burden. “But lemme tell ya just how much I care about ya. Oh, my sweet girl.” 
This is it. He tries not to but his low tone begins to tremble. It’s so strange. It feels like forever since that happened for the last time.
“Yeah, Mary has been a real’ important part of my life, I won’t lie to ya. But it was so long ago, gorgeous. So long ago.” 
He knows he won’t shed a tear. He never cries. But his hands shake. His vocal cords vibrate in a vulnerable, softer, and higher-pitched quaver. His body tenses, heart as fast as if racing with a million wild horses galloping in the Great Plains. Even if his words couldn’t explain just how much you meant to him, you could have guessed by how you were affecting his entire flesh.
“Ya know what? It’s true. Our story ended badly. I never fell in love again after her.”
You sigh, more tears wetting your face and his blue coat, this truth so hard to swallow.
“Until that morning, when I saw you brushing Boadicea’s mane; your hair all covered in hay, the brightest smile I ever had the chance to witness on that sweet face o’ yours. That day, I knew my stupid foolish heart had done it all over again.”
You let out a single chuckle mixed with tears and emotions, so relieved. Even when you felt like you were at your lowest, he succeeded at making you smile.
“Grimshaw had forced me to groom all the gang’s horses to “get used to camp’s work”. Must have looked terrible.” You remembered with a smile, details of your first encounter with Arthur flooding your mind.
“You looked like a goddamn Angel, honey. T’was like the sun was shining jus’ for ya. Jesus, I knew it was too late for me.”
You pulled back from him just a little, enough for you to look at him in the eyes, but not for him to let go of you. Now that they had found you, his hands, still slightly quivering, refused to let go, their place on your back and behind your head feeling so natural and right. Your eyes behave the same way as them but with his face. He looks so moved that you have to pinch yourself internally to make sure you’re not dreaming this whole thing; never in your life you had seen him like this.
“I love you too, Arthur.” You confessed back to him, fingers cupping his cheeks in a delicate touch.
You had to stand on your tiptoes to reach his face, but his arm helped you, your lips gently discovering themselves, brushing against each other in a soft and shy caress. Even if both your mouths were chapped by the biting cold, it was the most gentle kiss you had shared in your life, a satiny embrace that left you completely dreamy and light-headed.
The snowflakes silently swirl around the both of you, Nature the only witness of your souls melting into each other.
Opening your eyes again after this moment out of time, you're met with the happiest smile Arthur ever had on his face. He looked like and idiot in love, and you were sure you looked exactly the same.
“Please darlin’, don’t ever compare yourself to her ever again. What’s in the past stays there. And I wanna have a future with you.”
Your dreams sprang back straight from your heart to your mind. The visions you had about the both of you were more alive than ever, reinforced by his own needs shared with yours.
“You’re sweet, you’re funny, you’re so smart and stunningly gorgeous. And, you wan’ a proof?” He playfully asks you, taking his hat off his head, a thin layer of snow falling from it.
Turning it over, he carefully pull a piece of paper out, hidden between two leathered segments in the inner part of his hat. His cut and reddened fingers unfold it and he gives it to you, his big smile turning into an embarrassed and sheepish one.
It’s a sketch of you.
You’re mesmerized by the details of it, the blades of hay messily tangled in your hair, the sparkling in your eyes, the exact clothes you were wearing that day. This smile, you’re more than certain he drew it way more beautiful than it really is. Arthur even had added some lines traced from your head to the end of the paper, as if you were the Sun itself and were emitting your own light.
This was impossible this was the same person as you, her beauty was too radiant and fascinating.
But no matter what you thought about yourself, seeing his work curled your lips in the exact same way as yourself on the drawing. With snowflakes replacing the twigs, you had turned into the living recreation of it. Arthur laughed when he noticed, and realized just how much he had loved you and continued to since that morning from a year ago. He bent towards you to put a small kiss on your forehead.
“Arthur it’s… It’s beautiful.” You find it difficult to find another word, speechless once again. 
You also had no idea of how talented at drawing nor attracted to you he was. This day definitely was full of surprises. You chuckled fondly before taking a last look at your portrait and giving it back to your lover. But Arthur’s large palm wrapped around your hand.
“No, please, keep it. This way, you’ll always remember how you look through my eyes.”
More tears threaten to escape your own, even though those were a direct extract from the immeasurable happiness you were experiencing.
“And... Now that I don’t have to hide myself while sketching ya, I’m going to draw lots of new ones.”
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tagging: @a-court-of-valkyries Thank you for reading all of this! Also, I didn't know this was a thing but if ever you want to be tagged in my works too, let me know! It would be my pleasure.
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aajjks · 4 days
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love daze (m)
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synopsis. no one in this world can fuck you better than him.
warnings: smüt, 18+ èxplïcït cöntènt, ǔnprôtěctèd sèx, ovèrstïmülâtïon, súb!kòó, brèèdïng kïnk, yândèrè dárk thêmès, rôúgh sèx, päïn kínk. Nöönà kïnk. MDNI
note. I don’t even know why I wrote this but I guess you guys deserve this because you guys are the best followers in the world and I love you guys so much. I hope you will enjoy this and maybe send asks. I think at this point…. Noona is borderline yandere for him as well. ENJOY AND PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE SHARE YOUR FEEDBACK. IT REALLY KEEPS ME GOING..
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“O-Oh fuck noona I’m gonna cum ahh” he moans loudly as you feel him twitching inside you, His cock feels so good buried deep inside you.
Oh you love your boy so much.
He makes you feel so good, makes you feel like the most desirable woman in the world, his love makes you feel complete. Especially when he’s so desperate? Jungkook is a different man.
Everything about him changes and every emotion inside his brain, body and heart intensifies. You’ve been together for so many years and you never thought that you would fall in love so deeply with him.
Someone so scarred like him, you know that he thinks of you as an angel, but you’re not less flawed than him, there are some scars in your heart that he can never see.
Some scars may heal on your body with time, but never in your heart-and your past relationships have given you some deep deep scars, right on your heart
Your heart Which is now in jungkooks warm, gentle hands.
“Oh fuck koo- you make me feel so fucking good ugh.” you know he’s intense.
You have fallen from grace, right into the deepest pits of Hell where the most fucked up sinners reside but he’s by your side and he lights up every single corner of your hell like it’s heaven.
And you know that he’s always gonna be with you. Because you know why? This man cannot live without you.
You hold such power over him that- you have become the reason for his ruin.
The thing is that he’s your light and you’re his darkness, you are a darkness that he never wants to escape.
You moan out in pleasure as he thrusts inside you for the nth time.
Jungkooks pace is merciless, rough and fast. He’s fucking you like a sex crazed man, and you love that about him because no part of your body is ever left unsatisfied or unloved by him.
It’s almost like he triggers the heat inside you and you’re a human being, “nghh fuck yn- ugh yeah.. only I can..” he groans, his lips finding your neck and he bites on your bruises marked flesh hard.
It doesn’t hurt, it feels so fucking good, he is marking you and you feel like you belong to someone, And to belong to someone, it’s the best feeling in the world.
Especially when it’s him.
You are not alone anymore, you are not abandoned anymore, you belong to Jungkook in every single way possible.
He begins to whisper dirty lewd words into your ear, egging you on, leaving you on the verge of an edge.
You’re so close to cumming.
at this point your body hurts, you’re overstimulated, absolutely fucked out- but you can’t get enough- And you don’t want him to stop or get enough of you.
“Oh fuck mhmm I cannot get enough of you noona- ugh.” it is like he can Read your mind, it’s like he can dive into the darkest most explicit fantasies, buried deep inside your brain.
He knows exactly what to tell you, he lives in your heart of course he will know what you want to hear because your heart tells him everything.
“Oh baby please don’t fucking stop.” He’s like your stress reliever, Jungkook whimpers in your neck as he buries his head in the nape of your sweaty neck.
His breath is hot, tickling your skin, your walls flutter around him and he moans.
Jungkook is still fucking you with a burning passion, his head finally rises up from your neck and he pulls you into a deep sloppy searing kiss.
His teeth nibble on the flush meat of your swollen lips, his kisses are like oxygen to you.
You kiss him back, your nails scratching his back, you’re pretty sure he’s bleeding, because he moans into your mouth, you pull him in closer to your naked body.
You never want to let him go.
And the best part is about this is that he doesn’t want you to let him go.
You are pretty sure that if you try to let him go, he will actually kill you.
Of course, you know what your boyfriend is capable of.
“‘M gonna cum please oh..” you break the kiss and soon he confesses, you mewl, looking at him with your lustful eyes.
“Cum deep inside me. Knock me up.” You whisper in his ear and as soon as you say those words, you can see goosebumps appear on his flawless skin. He growls looking at you, something in his eyes darken, he actually looks animalistic now.
He is now in a different habitat. Which is really rare.
“Fuck- breed…” he whimpers, and just like that- the bed actually starts to shake, hitting against the wall as your moans fill the room.
This is what you love the most about him, his always burning passion for you. Honestly, it’s astonishing how someone is capable of loving someone so much like this.
It is astonishing that is he is capable of loving you so much like this.
“I love you so much. I love you so much…” and that’s all it takes for you to cream around his dick soon, your orgasm hits you like a brick- he cries out at the feeling of your arousal all over him and he kisses your face.
“such a good girl for me- ‘m so proud of you.” He cries out.
“Now cum for me koo…”
And before you can even recover from your own high, you feel him cum inside you, it’s euphoric with the way he fills you up completely.
The nature of your relationship goes from a 0 to 100 real quick and sometimes from extra sweet to fucking spicy.
And you wouldn’t want it another way
And just like that, you both hold each other so close so intimately, so in love and so satisfied, so fulfilled.
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cordeliawhohung · 2 months
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the prowl - single dad! Price x teacher! stripper! Reader (fem) taglist
[5] guys your age
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“You doing okay?” 
No matter how hard you try, you cannot get the smooth vermilion lipstick to form correctly. It’s blurry. Refuses to crisply line the ridge of your lips. Lopsided and fuzzy, you feel more like The Joker than a stripper. It’s been five minutes, and you haven’t stopped quietly cursing at yourself as you try again and again to force it to comply — there are only so many times you can repeat the same thing before the brink of insanity begins to loom in the distance. 
“I can’t get this lipstick to work with me,” you mumble. You snatch a tissue off the counter — this is your fifth one — before wiping at the corner of your mouth. After this, you’ll have to fix your foundation, too. You wouldn’t be surprised if you were missing a layer or two near the corner of your mouth. 
Chuckling, Chrys slides into the seat next to you, vibrant xanthic outfit dazzling beneath the harsh lights that line the mirrors with fat bulbs. She’s covered her skin with a glitter spray, and with her darker complexion, the sparkling reminds you of radiant stars twinkling in the sky. 
“I’m not talking about that,” she clarifies, head tilting to the side and into your field of view. “I’m talking about you.” 
Crumpling the tissue and tossing it onto the counter with the others, you turn your full attention to Chrys. She leans against the counter, hand pressed against her cheek to prop her head up as she examines you with warm eyes. You suddenly feel less opaque than ever — glass skin, bones, and organs, she can see right through you. It’s like you’ve never had a properly formed body to begin with.
“What about me?” you ask, capping your lipstick and setting it to the side. You’ll deal with that little demon later. 
“Dunno. Been worried about you since last week when you nearly bolted out of here Friday. Now, you’re shaking worse than a wet dog,” she says, eyes flickering to your jittery fingers. 
Your laugh comes out breathy and caught in your throat as you swipe your thumb across the palm of your hand. A decent layer of sweat covers your skin and you try not to grimace. Usually, you’re better at hiding your emotions than this. Teachers often time have to mask disappointment or laughter, but this is different. 
“Yeah, uhm, I guess my mind is a little occupied,” you admit. 
“Work getting to you?” she asks. “I mean your actual job, not whatever the hell this gig is. Can’t imagine having to keep up your energy to work with kids and then come here and deal with rowdy men.” 
“It’s got… something to do with work, yeah,” you nod. 
Instead of questioning you further, Chrys stares. It’s white hot, boiling the truth inside of you until it sears the pit of your stomach, and you find you can no longer hold your breath. 
“I… might have given one of my student’s dad a private session last week,” you finally reveal in a whisper. 
Glossy lips curve in on themselves as Chrys hums, head nodding as she attempts to hide whatever emotion or surprise lurking beneath her facade. “Did he recognize you?” 
“See, that’s what I’m not sure of,” you sigh. “When I entered the room, I recognized him instantly. Chrys, I can’t lie, he’s an extremely attractive man, but I wanted to run. But I was worried that if I did, he would get confused or figure out who I was, so I sort of rolled with it anyway and… and fuck.” 
“So, you gave him a dance?” she prompts you to continue as you rub at the corners of your eyes. 
“No, he had me sit with him to talk.”
“Oh. Oh, that’s worse.” 
You groan, spine curving forward until your forehead comes in contact with the cold counter. It offers little reprieve for your hyperactive brain and it’s never ending thoughts, but sweat still builds on the palm of your hands. At this rate, you might as well go home before you hurt yourself dancing — too much moisture to grip the pole properly would send you crashing in a heartbeat.
“That’s not all,” you continue. “He bought me flowers on Monday.”
“To your teaching job?” Chrys clarifies. 
You nod as best as you can before you turn so your cheek is pressed against the counter. “Had his daughter bring it in and everything. Had a note too, thanking me for helping her out when she had fallen on the playground but it seemed… I don’t know. I don’t know if I’m overthinking it or not. If this got out I could lose my job, but I can’t quit working here… I can’t live off of what the school pays me. It’s just not enough, not with the cost of living.” 
“Hey,” Chrys shushes. Her hand reaches for the exposed skin on your back where she rubs loving and soothing circles along your spine. It’s a tenderness you’d never expect to receive at The Florist’s. It calms the storm swirling in your brain, electrifying your nerves, if only for a moment. “I’m sure if he knew you would’ve found out by now. Besides, even if he did, he would have to admit where he was at in order to get you in trouble. Depending on what he does, he might not want to out himself to the school either.” 
“Unless he does it anonymously,” you retort. 
“Even then, it’s some random, faceless person’s word against yours. I’d like to think the school would have a bit more faith in you than that.” 
You take a deep breath, chest shuttering with the movement as you push yourself away from the counter. Unrelenting nervosity still grips you by the throat as that tempest builds in your mind, but you know Chrys’s words bear weight. John Price is a good man — at least, you think he is. Hopefully he wouldn’t be so willing to destroy your career, especially after thanking you with an expensive bouquet and kind card. 
“Yeah… you’re right. I just… I can’t get him out of my head. Even before he came here, I’ve had this stupid little crush on him. Like I said, he’s very attractive. But ever since then he’s just… constantly on my mind. This isn’t healthy and it’s so frustrating because I’m constantly going back and forth between some weird attraction or worrying I’ll be jobless because of him and-”
You’re spiraling. Body contorting and falling into some deep pit you’ll never crawl out of, and before you can gush further, Chrys cuts you off with a simple raise of her hand. Your mouth seals tight, tacky lipstick sticking to itself as you roll your lips out with a sigh. 
“Sounds to me like you’re living at work and visiting home,” she says with a chuckle. “You need something to do outside of work life. Something to take care of yourself, or at least take your mind off of whatever sticky mess you’ve found yourself in.” 
Defeated, you shrug. “Like what?” 
“Well, dunno about you but I prefer spa days. If not that, then Tinder,” she says flippantly. 
“Tinder?” you repeat incredulously. 
She smirks, lips curling up like a playful cat. “Going on a date would be one way to get this guy out of your head, yeah?” 
“Chrysanthemum!” 
Both of you turn your heads, snapping to the edge of the room where a technician waves his hand through the door in signal. Chrys turns back to you where she gives you a quick smile and a reassuring squeeze before standing to her feet. 
“Just think about it, yeah?” she requests before sauntering out of the room. 
You watch her leave with hips that sway in time with the clack of her heels and you groan. There’s no time for you to explain or dwell on your failed dating life. Men your age are avidulous and oftentimes dishonest in the best of scenarios. Most of the girls you had gone to university with were lucky enough to have a ring on their finger before graduation. Married, double income, and lovely homes — it’s something you can only dream of now. 
John isn’t your age. 
That thought hits you with such effusive force you nearly lose your breath. It’s… naughty. A perverted thought that shouldn’t creep into the depths of your mind, and yet it does. It grows long, swirling roots where it soaks the nutrients of the grey matter of your brain. It takes place with relentless force and refuses to let go. Judging by his looks and the air that surrounds him, he’s mid to late thirties minimum, perhaps even early forties. And you? Some new, not even tenured school teacher? 
Shaking your head, you bring yourself to your feet, chair scratching and squeaking against the tile floor as you back away from the mirror. No, you shouldn’t be thinking about that — you can’t think about that. About him. About whatever twisted delusion you’re fabricating and torturing yourself with. 
Your locker swings open with a squeak and your hands dive into the bag shoved in the back. It doesn’t take you long to fish out your phone, and it’s even shorter before you have your app downloader open. 
Downloading Tinder: 7%
If this is one of the steps you have to take to forget all about John Price, then so be it.
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