#'let er go! and Patty!

[writersdrug]

I need, need need neeeeed to know who you would picture bar owner price with 😩 picturing bar owner price has me week in the knees. I need more, how would he be around the bar when he was there? Supporting, bossy,silly? The possibilities are endless. 🥰

I'm loving how people are requesting things for the rest of the 141!!

Bar Owner!Price isn't there every day, and most often not during the actual shift. He's there some mornings, already at his desk on the floor above the pub, setting up the next inventory order and dealing out everyone's tips before Simon climbs down from his flat on the third floor. They both grunt at each other, tired and in need of a hot breakfast and some tea.

He helps set up for the shift - he likes being in the kitchen with Soap. He feels bad the man is back there all by himself, even though he says he doesn't mind it. "I get to cuss 'n bitch all I want back 'ere, sir." Still, Price spends a majority of his time back there with him, prepping burger patties and making sure everything is stocked and ready. Gets on his case about updating the menu, but Soap insists the customers like it the way it is.

Price makes an appearance on the floor every now and then, opting to help run food or bartend on the busier nights. He checks in with the regulars, leaning his forearms on the bar with his sleeves rolled to his elbows, laughing and chatting with them and occasionally offering to refill their drinks. Simon grumbles quietly about him being in the way, but Price doesn't take it to heart.

He doesn't stay late. John isn't that old, but he likes to be back at home by a decent hour. One ruined sleep schedule and he's a shot for the rest of the week. He likes to get back to his flat, make himself a sandwich and pour himself some whiskey, and be on on his sofa and reading his book no later than ten in the evening. Routines have always been a part of his military career, and what can he say? Old habits really fo die hard.

Then you came along.

You didn't just rock Simon's world - you'd gotten Price, too. Though introductions could have been smoother (you nearly beat him with a keg when he came in through the back door and scared you), he's grown fond of you. First, as a hard worker and go-getter; then, as a pretty little waitress with a dazzling smile that likes to keep him on his toes. You love poking fun at him, calling him "bossman" or "barmaster" (doesn't make sense to him, since he's hardly behind the bar - but he finds it cute). You tease him for the way he runs your food, then gets stuck at the table for five minutes just chatting up the customers. You ask him things like, "Who do you prefer, Cardi B or Nicki Minaj?" And laugh when he just stares at you with a furrowed brow. He'll happily let you tease him for being an "old" man just to hear your laughter.

Then Simon sent that photo in the group chat, and Price felt something stir in his chest: looking at you, posing all prettily for your picture, working to push your little idea out there and bring in a crowd. He's impressed, but he's also intrigued. He's got his sights on you, and he's dying to figure out more about his waitress.

"'S the post making any headway?" He asks one night, leaning on the bar next to where you sit. Your tips are finished, money waded into the pocket of your apron as you scroll on your phone, sipping on a screwdriver.

"Kinda..." You mumble, a pout on your face, creasing the skin between your eyebrows. "People are seeing it, and there are a few likes, but no one's really engaging. Not sure if this will do well."

Price hums thoughtfully, looking at your lips while you stare at your screen. He's holding back the urge to lean in and take a whiff of your perfume, afraid it might seem just a bit too strange. "Have you tried promoting it?"

You look at him, laying your phone on the bar top. "Well... I could, but..." You wanted to finish with 'it would cost money'. But then, you'd be insinuating that you expected him to pay you. You could boost the post yourself, but you'd rather not spend money on something that might flop.

"'S there a problem?" Price asked, leaning in closer to you.

"I mean... promoting a post costs some money. Like, for it to be advertised to five hundred people, you'd pay around one fifty. And I think, depending on how far you wanted the post to reach - like, literally, how big of a geographic area - that would cost even more."

Price chuckles. "You do realize how much business you've brought in since you've joined the team, hmm?"

That makes your cheeks warm, pressing your lips into a line to avoid grinning like an idiot at the compliment. "I mean... sure..."

"Go upstairs to the office and get my wallet." he says, standing up from his seat at the bar.

You watch with a stupefied expression as he walks to the POS and prints some blank receipt paper. "You- you mean it? Are you sure?"

He sits on a barstool near the kitchen door. "Wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it. Hurry up- before I change my mind."

You don't need to be told twice. You drop your phone onto the bar and bolt towards the stairs - you stop yourself, running back to where Price sits and hugging him from behind. He lets out a surprise grunt as you do your best to smother him.

"You're the best boss ever!" you squeal. Then, just like that - you're off to the office upstairs. He preens over the compliment as he hears you leaping two steps at a time.

"Be careful." he calls over his shoulder. He sits there a moment, staring at the paper in front of him. He's surprised he hadn't accidentally thrown you off of him purely out of instinct, but he can't say he isn't absolutely delighted by the hug. It lingers in his mind, his chest still remembering your arms around him. He shakes his head, reaching forward to grab a pen from behind the bar.

His eyes meet Simon's - the man is glaring daggers, his head framed by the window in the kitchen door, mask hanging from his ear. His lips are pulled down into quite possibly the angriest frown Price has ever seen. His nostrils flare as he exhales - Price wonders what sort of insults are flying through the bartender's head right now.

He glares right back. If Simon wants something, he'll give it to him. But he'll make him ask for it, like any normal human being. John isn't going to surrender just because Ghost is huffing and puffing, expecting his boss to back away from you just because he's stomping his foot and looking menacing. But how can he be sure that Simon really wants you, more than he thinks Price deserves you, if the lad won't say anything? It's only reasonable, right?

"If you want something, Simon, say something." Price calls out, never backing down from Simon's jealous gaze.

He huffs again and disappears from the kitchen window. Price can hear shuffling and banging, followed by Soap's irritated voice: "Oi, I got it! Get yourself outta my kitchen n' go your own shite, 'fore you break my stuff."

Price sighs, scribbling down some numbers on the paper in front of him. He'll cave, eventually.

[reashot]

In Every World, In Every Timeline... 🌈 ⚔️ 🌹

Jaune and Ruby are being all "friendly" like...

Ruby: We are the bestest bestie evah! ❤️

Jaune: We sure are. Crater face.

Ruby: Ohh... I like you too. Vomit boy~ 😘

Jaune: Come 'ere you!

*grabs Ruby's waist and brings her closer to him*

Ruby: Kyan~ 😁

No! The cute blonde knight is about to violate me! 😉

Whatever shall I do? 😏

Jaune: Ha, ha. I have you now Ms. Rose.

For too long you have eluded my capture.

And now that I have you in my hands. I swear I will never let you go.

Ruby: But why Sir Knight? Why do you desire me so, for what reason do you want to capture me? 😶

Jaune: That's because you're the most beautiful girl I ever laid my eyes on.

Ruby: *gasp* really? 😮

Jaune: Yes. I am especially fond of your beautiful dark red hair. And your silver eyes...

Ruby: *gasp again* (He knows that my hair color is actually red. We really are besties 😳)

Jaune... Do you think we are best friends in every universe?

Jaune: ....where did this come from?

Ruby: You know just curious... 🥺

Jaune: Well, I hope so...

A long, long time ago:

Field of corpses as far as the eyes can see and somewhere in the midst of all the decaying bodies a clash of epic proportions is currently happening between two people a knight and a red robed woman.

Arc's Ancestor: I HATE YOU!!!

Rose's Ancestors: I HATE YOU MORE!!!

Arc: After I'm done killing you. I will make sure to hunt down the rest of your silver eyed abominations.

Rose: You're too late. While you're busy slaughtering the innocents my family has already left the woods by then.

Jaune: Then I better start now.

*stabs Rose*

Rose:

Uoghh!

I guess you finally did it...

Arc: This too fitting of an end for a witch like you. I would personally have you tortured for months before delivering the final blow. A pity...

Now, any last words?

Rose: Ugh... Yeah.

The k-king can kiss my ass...

He, he, he...

*smacks face*

Arc: Vile witch!

I should have known that your kind will betray the king eventually.

I swear on my life and all the life that will come after me that an Arc will be the one to put an end to the last of the silver eyes clan.

Rose: Then I swear too... That the Rose clan will be the one to put an end to the Arc family's line...

Fast forwards...

Jaune and Ruby playing patty cake.

Ghost Arc: WHAT THE SALEM ARE YOU DOING?!!

She's literally the last one!

Drive the family sword through her chest!

Ghost Rose: Why are you playing with the enemy?!

His family is responsible for wiping out our family!

Jaune: Hey Ruby did you hear something?

Ruby: Dunno could be the wind. I guess. 🌬️

Sorry that I haven't been posting. I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed lately and needed some break.

The reason I'm writing this is because I needed some background history for Jaune. And Ruby too I guess.

[newkatzkafe2023]

Hi there!, can you make a monkey queen Y/N as Jessica rabbit?, i'm quite curious how the wukongs along with other characters in their fandom reacts to the wukong's wife being a iconic asexual beauty!

OK here goes nothing😅

(Lmk Wukong) SIMP NUMBER 1!!!! Well he's constantly blushing around us. And stumbling over his feet and chokes alot trying to talk. But he's so funny you couldn't let somebody like him get away. He sometimes tries to front his bravito but you can see right though him and love him the same and he would melt of he can.

(NR Wukong) SIMP NUMBER 2!!! He's has so many nosebleeds around us that you fear, you may have to take him to the ER. He flirts Constantly and would spoil you alot. But he's a silly and hyperactive old man that loves and care for you very much.he make you Laugh all day everyday and that's will always be a win.

(MKR Wukong) You find yourself taking care of this dude. Is that angry little street cat?That just needs someone to care about him Genuinely. And we don't mind him and his violence A lot of the time it's warranted and we hate how the monk doesn't appreciate it. In other news pigsy is envious of Wukong and he loves to rub it in his face.

(HIB Wukong) Thinks this is a cruel sick joke. I mean somebody pretty and extraordinary Like you is giving him attention and the time of day. Who put you up to this And how much are they paying you? But when he finds that everything you do is legit And you display such patience and kindness. And you'll love to play patty cake with Luier and Silly girl After teaching them. He loves you so much He just doesn't know what to do🥰🥰🥰🥰.

(Netflix Wukong) SIMP NUMBER 3!!!! This guy is desperate to impress you. You are so pretty and catches the eye of many That he feels.He needs to go all out and change a little bit just to keep you near. But Sometimes he trips and messes up and he ends up Making you laugh. And with that you stood by his side Watching his silly antics as he make you giggle and cuddle him.

FEEL FREE TO REBLOG

[decadeofjoy-au]

PART 19 OF THE DECADE OF JOY STORY

Title: Head(s) of the Problem

(TW: Mentions of injury. Minor SH. mentions of torture. mentions of death. mentions of murder. Yk what? Just violence at the end.)

This link has the links to the other parts: https://www.tumblr.com/decadeofjoy-au/774964066342092800/rules

SETTINGS: Lower Floors(first part). Security Halls(second part). Game Station(third part). Experiment Rooms(fourth part). Hallways(fifth part). Miniature warehouse(sixth part)

MAIN CHARACTERS: Main Group - Huggy - Mommy - Catnap - Doey

OCS in this part and their owners.

Maria Harper-TDOJ

Azure Nilson-TDOJ(Mentioned)

Maury Serge-TDOJ(Mentioned)

Handyman-TDOJ

Clarance The Clayman-TDOJ

Bolt-TDOJ(Brief Appearance)

Figaro-TDOJ(Brief Appearance)

Hexabug-TDOJ(Mentioned)

HIxel Pixel-TDOJ

Mr Sandman-TDOJ(Mentioned)

Caleb-Icanexplainwhythisnameisbad

A.I.-Icanexplainwhythisnameisbad(Mentioned)

Coo-Coo The Dog-Icanexplainwhythisnameisbad(Mentioned)

Silencer/Nostalgia Nancy-Icanexplainwhythisnameisbad

Hysteria Hyena-Icanexplainwhythisnameisbad(Brief Appearance)

Plug-N-Play-Icanexplainwhythisnameisbad(Mentioned)

Sock-lt - Icanexplainwhythisnameisbad(Brief Appearance)

Beartrap Bernie-Icanexplainwhythisnameisbad(Brief Appearance)

4 Mini Handymen-Icanexplainwhythisnameisbad(Brief Appearance)

Snooze The Dragon-Icanexplainwhythisnameisbad(Mentioned)

Doodle The Stretchy Mime-Anewbieartist356(Mentioned)

Patty The Putty Dragon-Doris-Anewbieartist356(Brief Appearance)

Sunnie Daze-Anewbieartist356(Brief Appearance)

Melly Collen-Sweatycowboyqueen(Brief Appearance)

Dainty Dricket-Sweatycowboyqueen(Brief Appearance)

Type and Talk Tommy-Portalling101

Rosalie-Corelex(Mentioned)

Huggy Wuggy

Boxy Boo(Mentioned)

Mommy Long Legs

Bunzo Bunny(Mentioned)

Catnap

Miss Delight(Mentioned)

Doey The Doughman

Dogday(Mentioned)

Kissy Missy(Mentioned)

Scout(Mentioned)

Yarnaby

Chester

Mini Smiling Critters

—————

It had been a few hours since that whole…fight. Handyman’s wings and chest area were properly bandaged up. Still uh…messed up, but it’s better than nothing. Clarance was going to help them up but the mannequin lightly pushed his hand away and stood up themself. Huh… Maria took note of that fact then turned to look at Caleb with a raised brow, just to see if he was fine. He seemed perfectly okay, well…he didn’t even see what happened…so it would only be expected that he’s perfectly fine. She then turned back to Clarance with a cautious look. Clarance looked around, examining their surroundings before letting out a hum. This is fine. He gave Maria a nod and started walking. Maria lightly tapped on Caleb’s arm, just barely remembering to avoid the shoulders. Luckily, Caleb got the memo and grabbed onto her hoodie to began following after the two, with Handyman purposely lagging behind. Clarance WOULD ask her who that mime was but er…he’d probably get no response. And a glare too judging by how much the two seemed to dislike each other. Nonetheless, the group continued walking. They didn’t know WHAT this place was…had tons of rooms like any other god awful place in this building, but all the doors seemed to be made of glass…and they all had poppy flowers in them. Clarance suddenly remembered something. The poppy flowers..they…they used those to bring the experiments to life, to preserve the organs and other vital things while they were in the toys bodies! He gulped. His memories flashed to that giant dough creature for a second..those three kids who…he…

🔷He suddenly punched himself🔷, causing Maria to take a sudden step back which caused Caleb to bump into her with a loud “oof”. Handyman glanced and walked to the front of the group, lightly pushing Clarance back in an attempt to switch places. Clarance shuttered and nodded before slowly moving to the back of the group. He usually did that whenever he remembered something he didn’t exactly want to. Handyman knew this…which is exactly why she wanted to switch places with him in the first place. It was…quiet…but in a different way. Nobody had anything to say. Or…more so…nobody WANTED to say anything…Maria grabbed onto the handle of her bat JUST incase she needed to pull it out for something. The group seemed safe. For now.

…

Where’s that weird TV guy that tried to kill them some hours ago?

—————

Yarnaby ran rampant through the halls, paying no attention to where he was going or what he was running into…he was just doing what his master told him to. As he ran, he got his leg caught in some sort of machinery and as a response, immediately began to tear and rip into it like a furious wild animal. Chester slowly snuck past him, knowing he’d probably get mauled if the lion took even a GLANCE at him. God…how’d he end up like this!? Just a chess piece? A pawn to be played with? He should’ve never gone about Leith’s orders but…the threats of being fired…NO of being KILLED…though…he has to admit…he’d rather have THAT than what he has to deal with now… Chester ignored the small Baba Chops plush that quickly walked by him, looking around for any sign of the past intruders. Huh. Tommy. Chester looked back at Yarnaby, noticing that the lion had finally finished its mini rampage and was continuing along, some of its yarn was torn out, revealing a bruises and wounds. Possibly from Harley. He usually did that to Chester too..though…he could take the hits. Better than being trapped in a small room for another week thanks to that…yellow…smiley face.

Chester walked over to a small hole in the wall then began to squeeze himself through it, it took some effort considering his short, stubby legs but he managed to make his way through and into some experimenting rooms. Filled with red smoke. It was like a maze. He held his breath as he walked through, taking small note of the small experiments that laid on the beds in the different rooms. He then found the door. It was open. He walked through then entered an empty room. Hmm…

Chester looked up at a vent. Huh….guess he’ll need a ladder for this.

—————

Huggy walked past Catnap. He wanted to ask him about…Maury, about Mr Sandman, about all the recent stuff that’s been happening but he knew that certain information like that was only for Catnap and the other scientists to know. That’s exactly why he’s going to Boxy instead. He knew that A.I. seemed to be with some…girl in blue. He never actually got a name from the kid…but he did remember that her jacket was a sort of…dulled-down Azurite blue. She seemed rather smart. Much more thoughtful than Lucky was. It was very obvious who was the brain and who was the brawn. Huggy’s whole symbolism is strength! That’s what he represents…but god. Lucky sure is just so…LUCKY. Because he’s 90% sure she should’ve been either caught or DEAD by now…and while he does NOT want to hurt the kid, at this point, they MIGHT have to. Because who KNOWS how much she knows? Not to mention she’s a cold blooded KILLER. Sure, Huggy kills people all the time but THATS because they were stupid enough to trespass on Playtime Co grounds! And by the order of The Prototype anyways! He let out a small growl then huffed as he put a hand to his head. They’ve captured adults, experiments, rebellious toys…and they can’t even catch a couple of KIDS!? He’s gonna get KILLED in like…5 DAYS if he doesn’t CATCH THOSE TWO! The blind boy wouldn’t even be an issue if he weren’t helping her! This was really stressing him out and the fact that so many experiments are being found OUTSIDE their cells is NOT HELPING!! He suddenly stopped when a small smiling critter tapped on his leg. They must’ve heard his frustrated growling. He slowly looked down at the Hoppy Smiling Critter as she looked up at him

Skippy: “are you okay..?”

He blinked before giving a nod and a thumbs up. This luckily seemed to satisfy the small critter as she nodded and quickly ran off again. In the same direction that Catnap was going. It must be important…Anyways, off to go and find Boxy Boo.

—————

Mommy silently watched from above as all of the kids played and had fun. She’d normally be smiling happily at the sight but today…she wasn’t in the mood. She would be out looking for Maria and Caleb, but she had to stay here. Make sure that no more got out, that no more tried to leave. Maria and Caleb were already missing and she almost can’t believe that Azure of all orphans had snuck out from under their noses. She was supposed to be the MOTHER of this place! What kind of mother was she if she couldn’t even notice one of the most frequently visiting orphans being gone!? Azure ALWAYS comes up to the game station and last time she sees her is at a MEETING!? She grumbled to herself with a blank expression as she stared down at the kids. So many of them. And yet…so many missing. Maury would normally be here…but The Prototype…oh…god…she didn’t even want to think about him. About the horrible things he could do to her and so many other toys. 5 days…just 5..that’s ALL they got.. she’s rather greatful to Huggy for convincing the giant hunk of flesh and metal to give them more time as the four of them would’ve been dead by now if it weren’t for his brains but…just 5 days…? That’s absurd!

Mommy looked away for just a second to check up on Stella. Oh…right she’s uh…she’s with Hoppy. Frosty wasn’t available at the moment and neither was A.I. so she simply left the small toy with Hoppy. She knows who she is. She can recognize the person who baby long legs is from a mile away…but…she just didn’t care. She saw her tape…how she wanted to be oh, so young again and you know what? She got her wish. Now she’s back to square one! A baby, so tiny and vulnerable….something so easy to break…that’s exactly what she wanted, wasn’t it? Well she definitely got it. And she seemed to be enjoying it, she stopped complaining 7 years ago about her predicament. It was adorable! She almost acted just like a little baby now! Well…aside from her moments of remembering who she was. Mommy hated those moments. She’d be just…SO DEFIANT… almost made her want to-

Mommy looked back down at the orphans. She shouldn’t be thinking of this right now, not while she has work to do! She swears…if those 3 don’t find those kids by the second to last day then she’ll go and do it HERSELF. For now…she’s feeling rather exhausted. She should go and grab Bunzo, maybe he can make himself useful. Give her a small break. Or…better yet…he’ll go and look for those two. Yes…he’d do that. After all, she represents family. And he’d do ANYTHING for family! Wouldn’t he?

—————

Catnap slowly walked into the room with a mass of little smiling critters following after him. Hero stood still next to Mr Shortcake and Bubba as they stared at an empty cell. Mr Shortcake let out a hum as Bubba crossed his arms and shook his head. Hero seemed like she didn’t want to be here though…she never exactly voiced it. Bubba looked at Catnap then sighed.

Bubba: “another one got out.”

Catnap: “another?”

Hero: “Of course…” …. “Hey, atleast “you know who” couldn’tve gotten out”

Bubba: “Oh..she..also got out. We believe one of the other escapees grabbed her before they escaped.”

Hero: “…MOTHERFU-“

Hero suddenly closed her mouth and took a deep breath, Mr Shortcake cautiously spoke up, not wanting to set her off more than she already was.

Mr Shortcake: “🩵…we’ve…made…a small list. A small list of all the experiments currently escaped. A toy is up here too but…she’s violent enough to be considered an experiment.🩵”

Mr Shortcake pulled out a piece of paper then handed it to Catnap, listing the names of all the experiments who have escaped. His eyes widened at the large amount. His jaw would’ve dropped if it could open up any more than it already was.. Bubba, Hero and Mr Shortcake silently anticipated his reaction, knowing the large feline toy wouldn’t be happy to hear this. And even MORE unhappy if The Prototype found out..

—

LIST OF ESCAPEES

Handyman

Clarance The Clayman

Bolt

Figaro

Hexabug

Coo-Coo The Dog

Silencer/Nostalgia Nancy

Hysteria Hyena

Plug-N-Play

Sock-It

Beartrap Bernie

4 Mini Handymen

Snooze The Dragon

Doodle The Stretchy Mime

Patty The Putty Dragon-Doris

Sunnie Daze

Melly Collen

Dainty Dricket

—

Catnap silently stared at the list before slowly lowering it, he began to tighten his fist, crumbling up the paper and even tearing it a bit with his claws before looking at the group with a…glint…in his eyes. One that NONE of them liked…or even…recognized.

Catnap: “You mean to tell me…that we…have 18 EXPERIMENTS GONE LOSE!?!? WHERE IS SECURITY?!”

Everyone flinched back at Catnap’s sudden outburst. He usually didn’t…freak out like this. He was actually quite timid, more so…mysterious? While a reaction like this was reasonable, it was certainly unexpected from the group. Mr Shortcake slowly backed away as Bubba defensively raised his hands. A few smiling critters cowered behind some equipment.

Bubba: “Security is trying their best! They’re just…”

Mr Shortcake: “🩵Ca- Theodore, do you truly expect all of security to catch 18 hostile experiments? Patience, please…I’m sure they’re on it as we speak!🩵”

Hero quickly nodded in defense of Mr Shortcake before quickly leaving and heading out the door. Multiple critters watched as she quickly walked off before turning back to the small group. Catnap put his paper down before speaking up again, he was DEFINITELY not happy..

Catnap: “…I don’t think you all understand…Clarance, Bolt, Coo-Coo, Silencer, Bernie, Doodle, Doris AND Dainty are all out, and I’m not even counting the others because these are some of the most VIOLENT experiments THAT WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH…and THE PROTOTYPE…would NOT. BE. HAPPY.”

Catnap was about to continue when he suddenly realized something. Wait a minute…Silencer is out? Isn’t A.I. supposed to be keeping her locked away? Why did he not mention that during their last meeting!? Is he insane!? Well…he IS…but that is NOT an excuse! Catnap’s mind suddenly went to Boxy and Huggy who have definitely not caught ANYBODY. What is UP with those two!? He remembered walking past the blue toy in the hallways and he SAW the look on his eyes…he is DEFINITELY hiding something! Catnap huffed then slowly lowered the paper before walking out, leaving Bubba with Mr Shortcake. As Catnap walked out he silently thought to himself. He’s supposed to be a leader. He represents well..dreams. But honestly, he is NOT LIVING THE DREAM RIGHT NOW. 5 days. That’s ALL they have to catch those two kids and he feels like that some toys aren’t even making an EFFORT to GET them. Yes they got useful news from A.I. and the smiley girl but that’s NOTHING against 2 missing orphans and 18 MISSING EXPERIMENTS. THAT IS 20 THAT THEY HAVE TO DEAL WITH. He made a PROMISE to The Prototype, to his GOD that he would NOT fail him and he is going to KEEP that promise even if he has to sacrifice himself DOING IT.

Where’s Miss Delight? Perhaps she can help….

—————

Doey quickly sped walked through the halls, attempting to avoid…Frosty. As much as he wanted to talk to the other toy he was just…too…cold. Far too cold, it gave him awful memories from when he was back in his cell. He could be at Playcare right now but..he was too worried about finding those two kids. They could’ve gotten hurt, or worse. One of them killed Hixel so…they definitely need to be taken care of. He doesn’t want to kill them, no, not at all. He just wants them to go back to Playcare so that everything can be back to normal. 🟡So that he could go back home🟡- No…no. He doesn’t…have one of those anymore. Well…not the one he used to anyways. He cared a lot about the other toys here, about Scout, Kissy, Dogday… but The Prototype…ugh.. The Prototype… he’d never say it to his face but he hated him. They could’ve all left by now.

No…HE could’ve left…he doesn’t have to stay here but…he has a job..he’s a leader, his whole…thing…the thing he represents is trust and to him, that means he CANNOT LEAVE. He has to stay here and play his part. Just play his part, that’s all, do that and everything will be okay. That’s what he keeps saying to himself. He wouldn’t be here in the FIRST place if it weren’t for that…THAT SCIENTIST.. he knows that he’s not just him that…that there are other people in there with him but he just can’t help but get ANGRY when he sees him. He can’t help but only see that…🟪AWFUL, CRUEL, MEAN MAN WHO MADE HIM LIKE THIS🟪. Clarance the Clayman. That’s a FUNNY little pun on his name. Doey sighed and shook his head to stop thinking about him for a moment. Right…back to the original plan. Alright…so…what he has to do is go and get Dogday, inform Rosalie and some of security to check the lower floors, and find the orphans. 5 days. That’s all he has left to do this before…HE…does something awful to him. And he doesn’t want to know what. Rosalie is great at catching experiments and intruders…he’ll send her out. As he was walking, he suddenly saw him.

Doey: “🟧Dogday! I need you over here for a moment…it’s very important.🟧”

—————

Melly silently watched from the shadows as multiple different experiments ran rampant, causing havoc around the place. She saw a cheetah-like toy speed past her then turned her head to see…Doris. Oh. Doris.. She ran after the large dragon as she left. As she did this, other experiments were attempting to escape. Hysteria climbed up to the bridge above, causing other experiments to attempt to join. Sunnie was already to the top and running through the door, though she was running through the opens ones, not the closed ones that seemed to be covered in clay. Bernie followed after Bolt as he made his way to the nearest elevator while Dainty stopped a few other experiments, stepping in front of them. She could use these four little guys to escape… Figaro hid behind a large crate as one experiment even attacked another, not wanting to get caught in the cross fire. Sock-It walked by…though..he was probably trying to find some place more quiet to sleep. It was…so loud.

….

Too loud…

Everyone suddenly cleared the area as loud banging was heard…that could only be non-other than…Silencer. It barely took a second before she suddenly burst through the door, charging at anybody who made even the smallest peep. Some experiments used this to get others attacked, other experiments tried to escape faster. It was too loud. FAR too loud. She seemed to be still freaking out over that shriek that Mr Sandman let out a while ago…

—————

——Small Meme

🪽Me: “Finally…done editing! Now I just need to-“

Messes up and all the editing gets reset

🪽Me:

[jhsharman]

recollections of the big tinky winky scare

A fight breaks out in the crowd at a hockey game regarding Betty versus Veronica. Evan Dorkin likely today mildly embarrassed by his art here, and he is shuffling from an sci-fi action premise to something else -- this series at the pushed to the side because other comics work actually paid. Though the nature of comic retailing never entirely sure how --

And we get to a follow up in a few panels of the hockey sequence which throws up a slur from the meathead in the crowd and so another "fighting words". The other matter that appears to animate -- even passingly -- the public regarding Archie Comics.

A little bit of the territory of Chasing Amy's joke, or the ease with which I can grab panels of Jughead accidentally winning a girl's figure skating contest while in a dress and declaring -- "Yep! There he is! They call him 'Queen!" -- and it is one of two panels I know of with a crowd proclaiming "All Hail Queen Jughead!" . The problem there -- well, here is Archie being crowned "Queen".

Though maybe they are feeling out character definitions a little. I do have the supposition that a culture shifted around Archie Comics and a full meaning of "committed bachelor" as euphemism and not looking just as a sound board for the GI writers to bounce "Women! Am I right?" jokes off of. Or -- late 1960s, the hipster jokes on Jughead were getting to them and they did make a succession of efforts at straight-washing him, as I have seen people so claim. And come back to me in five minutes and I will disagree with that sentence. Asexual, but presumed in two "parents talking the birds and the bees and why he is so odd" stories in the late 70s / early 80s (one a favorite of Bughead-ers because of a line where he states a platonic affection toward Betty) a late bloomer just like his dad was.

Back in 1999 there was a big brouhaha that erupted when Televangelist Jerry Falwell cited Tinky WInky as gay. He was evidently not wholly off base, just mostly so-- it is the case that the first actor in a Tinky Winky costume was let go for portraying the character in too prancey and fey a manner as the... but we are effectively dealing with ambiguously gendered Muppet infants here. Interesting case for Falwell, the bizarre contractual knot that tied The 700 Club to Rupert Murdoch's Fox Family Channel which trailed from contractual obligations off of Murdoch media and television station purchases in the mid-1980s, so the show was aired shortly after Pee Wee's Playhouse reruns -- all things considered, a more forthright example for Falwell's concern -- a children's show from a decade prior with a large adult audience carried over from its being based on a character persona for adults as a spoof of old children's television and which was laced all throughout with gay innuendo. Paul Ruben's scandal gets obliquely noted hereabouts. All you have with Teletubbies is really bright colors and playful prances. And a handbag.

I recall a comic page -- probably from one of the alt weekly cartoonists -- which ends with a mass of characters whose sexuality was oft joked about hounding about Falwell, a "Welcome to the Club". Bert and Ernie, Peppermint Patty and Marcy, Velma, and for my purpose here -- Jughead. If I knew the artist I would likely be able to find it in a collection at the public library. I was thinking it was Ruben Bolling who did this page, but I find his statement on the hullabaloo was this:

[1d1195]

Harry '15-'20

I have loved this man for a lot longer than 2015 but this is when I started writing about him. Here we go.

Tea and Cuddles Story Time Little Things Meanie Kiss Me Monsters Study Date In the morning I’ll be with you Keds and Tube Socks Just the Three of Us | Just the Three of Us II | Just the Three of Us III

ER History | History II Dinner My Relationship to You Patty Cake | Patty Cake II Keep Your Head Up Spa Day Highest Heels Ankles I Don’t Feel Alone

Cinderella Thoughtful and Innocent Photograph Flirting Wonderwall Boxing Christmas I want you. Naked. In my bed. Now. Explain yourself You have to let her walk on her own eventually

I think I’m falling in love with you You lied to me! Where are my clothes? Grand Gesture What do you think you’re doing? Just leave me alone Are you even listening to me? Pictures I can’t fall asleep…will you help me? Making a wish together

Don’t let me go Do you know what time it is? What do you think you’re doing? Piggyback Rides Kiss me You’re not going anywhere* Oh my God, what happened?! I hate you Touchy feely I’m coming back for you*

Smacking your bum I think m'gonna be sick… Adoption Screaming Can I hold your hand? School teacher It’s me or the boys, you choose. Dating Harry Kissing Booth You’re bad for me*

You could’ve died Rainy Day Infinity I think you’re beautiful Best friend’s sibling Perfect Home Period Titanic Halloween

Roommates Saturday Morning Chores Love You Goodbye (Divorce AU) I Wanna Write You a Song Sex Hair Haircut Caving Dating (with Niall) Bad Boy

Hey Angel Never Enough Don’t push me away A.M. Samson Acoustic #3 Mafia First visit to England

[hqmillioncorn]

let the fire wash away your fears

Patti poked her head around the corner. Her suspicions proved the be right, Cherrypit was home. Not only that, he was holding one of those cool little fireballs that he always liked to bounce against her head. "Tío Cherry!" Patti cried, jumping out of her hiding place. "How do you make those things!? Can you teach me how to make them too?!" Cherrypit already knew his niece was spying on him but her question still came out of nowhere. "I...er...Um..." Not that he didn't have any experience teaching Patti to do things but, something about this wasn't sitting right with him. "I think it's a little too dangerous...?" "What?!" Patti almost doubled over in shock and disbelief. Cherrypit usually so relaxed about everything. "Mama told me you were making these when you were two! I'm eight!" She held up eight fingers for emphasis. "How can it be dangerous for me if you did it when you were a baby?!" She got him there. Cherrypit internally cursed his younger self for being so reckless and un-killable. 'Why did I have to be so cool...?'

lalapril 7: wisp

its a particularly boring time for a two year old in ishgard, so cherrypit being cherrypit decides to make his own fun.

There were a lot of things Cherrypit loved. Some of these wonderful things included his sister, his brand-new friends, chocolate cake, all sorts of sweets and playing with his toys.

If he had access to any one of these Cherrypit would be more than content to weather anything that stood in his way!

At first Cherrypit had been excited to be in Ishgard. It was somewhere new! With lots of things to see and bite! Even better was that those scary people that separated him from Babycorn were nowhere to be seen.

Something about the color blue still made him a little nervous though. 

But as time went on and the longer they stayed in Ishgard, the more Cherrypit started to wonder when they were going to go home.

He really missed the room he shared with his sister and everyone else at the mansion. 

Not only that, because they had gone to Ishgard in such a hurry he hadn’t been able to bring any of his toys. Or any of his favorite things, like that rock he liked to chew on.

Cherrypit just really really wanted to go home. 

Unfortunately for him, it was starting to look like that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon. Even worse, he just happened to re-discover that he wasn’t the biggest fan of the cold.

Or of people staring at him.

Or sitting around doing absolutely nothing.

Also olives. 

Then something something waiting around for the weather to clear up so they could go investigate the western highlands or whatever.

A certain little somebody hadn’t really been listening at the time. Getting his hands on a piece of loose cloth hanging from one of the Ishgardian chocobos was way more important than whatever boring stuff people bigger than him were saying. 

Now here he was, sitting alone and bored in Fortemps Manor. 

Well, he wasn’t entirely alone but it sure felt like it. 

While everyone else was off doing their own things he was stuck here because his sister slipped on an ice cube and knocked herself out.

Of course because both siblings couldn’t be separated without dire consequences that meant Cherrypit was spending the afternoon alone and trying to think of something fun to do. 

“Bored! Bored!” Cherrypit loudly exclaimed. 

Desperate, he had tried asking one of the house servants if any of them had any paper and crayons he could use. Thankfully, even underneath all of his baby babble one of them had been able to understand him. “Here you are young master Cherrypit.” He handed Cherrypit a stack of paper and a brand new set of crayons, newly bought. 

Cherrypit might not have realized but everyone in that mansion loved him to bits and quite frankly would do anything for him. A sentiment that would echo to most everyone that had the misfortune of meeting him. 

Cherrypit watched as the servant placed the stack of papers in front of him alongside the crayons. “Ooooh!” Now they were getting somewhere! There were so many cool things that Cherrypit could draw! Like his new friends or the cool things he’d seen! 

“Thank! Thank! You!” He ran up to the servant and hugged his leg. Normally he would have done his usual way of hugging people but Babycorn nicely asked him to tone that down a bit.

At least while they were in Ishgard. Cherrypit didn’t understand why but if his sister asked him to do something, he would. 

��Ah-! You’re very welcome young master Cherrypit!” He was so so cute. Perhaps the babiest baby to ever be a baby. 

Now left to his own devices, Cherrypit began to draw. 

First thing he decided to draw was his impression of the city itself. It was all full of tall buildings! So tall that sometimes Cherrypit would fall over trying to see the very top of them. The same thing would happen in Limsa Lominsa and Babycorn so far has had to stop him from falling off into the ocean more than once. 

Cherrypit grabbed a grey crayon and got to work. He had to remember to draw himself, Bebe and all his friends too!

Sometimes being an artist was so much work.

...Maybe next he would draw a big cool dragon! 

But first thing was first, with some of the buildings done Cherrypit looked over to where his sister was sleeping. Just so he could draw her perfectly. 

The knights placed her on one of the couches next to the fireplace and covered her with a really cozy looking blanket. She hadn’t moved at all since the last two hours, besides tossing and turning around.

“Bebe…” Cherrypit had tried to wake her up but to no avail. 

Instead he decided to move his attention to the fireplace. He liked the fireplace, it made things feel a lot warmer and nicer. Like how he felt when someone was giving him a really tight hug.

The kind of hug that Cherrypit wished could last forever. 

He also wished he could just get a little closer. “Faiaa…!” Standing in between him and the flames were a pair of thin steel bars. Probably specifically designed to stop these sorts of situations from happening.

“Way! Way!” That was Cherrypit’s way of telling the bars to kindly get out of his way. 

Cherrypit placed his hands on the bars and rattled them a little. They were just a little warm but that wasn’t saying much. This would all be way easier if he could just rip the bars off and be done with it, but then Babycorn would be mad at him for using his full strength. 

“Hmpph!” Cherrypit puffed out his cheeks and crossed his arms, annoyed at the whole situation. That’s when-all of a sudden he had a great idea. He placed his hand on top of a white crayon and carefully grabbed it. “Whiiiee!” He was slowly but surely starting to learn the names of colors too. 

With white crayon in hand Cherrypit carefully maneuvered it between the steel bars separating him from the fire. His little hands were able to wiggle the crayon next to fire by just a bit.

There was really no logic or reason Cherrypit was doing this. If there was a reason it would probably just be something along the lines of because he felt like it. 

Just then, Cherrypit saw something. “Woa!” It was a tiny flame, sitting on top of the tip of his white crayon. He pulled it back towards him and admired the fire he was holding now so close to him. It was so bright and warm and moved in all sorts of funny ways!

Cherrypit giggled as he moved the flaming crayon from one side to another, watching as the fire chased the crayon wherever it went. “Prettyyy!” It was like magic. The kind of magic he would see his friends cast. While Cherrypit could cast his own, most of it just tended to, well, explode. 

Then, all of a sudden, Cherrypit heard the sound of someone clearing their throat. “Cherrypit? What do you have there?” This was a voice Cherrypit recognized. Once he looked up a big smile crossed his face, because he knew who this was!

It was his new friend Haurchefant! Or as Cherrypit referred to him as; Horsey. 

Alongside him, or rather behind him, were a rather large group of knights looking at Cherrypit with a myriad of very worried stares. “Cherrypit? Could I see what you’re holding there?” Haurchefant gently held his hand towards Cherrypit. 

Cherrypit looked up at Haurchefant and then at the crayon in his hand and then back up at Haurchefant. There was a plan brewing in his tiny little head.

With a mischievous little smile Cherrypit looked all the knights dead in the eyes and stuffed the flaming crayon into his mouth. 

Haurchefant slowly brought his hand closer to himself, cupping his chin. “Well that's unexpected.” To his credit, he was reacting fairly well at the sight of seeing a two-year-old ingest a crayon that was on fire.

Perhaps it was because he already spent some time with Cherrypit before their stay in Ishgard?

There weren’t many that believed him when he told them about how he had seen Cherrypit simply float out from Witchdrop.

On the other hand, the other two to three knights were showing the proper reactions when faced with something like this. 

“We’ve killed him!!” One of the knights proclaimed. The other two probably did the reasonable thing and went to go fetch someone who could help. Some sort of nurse maybe? That would work.

It was at times like these Haurchefant could do nothing but laugh, “Oh, Cherrypit.” Both siblings certainly had their quirks. If they could even be called that.

Well, regardless it was starting to look like he was going to keep learning about them the hard way. 

Haurchefant knelt down, crossing his legs and taking a seat next to Cherrypit. “Do you like it when people worry about you?” It was hard to blame the little guy. He went ahead and gave Cherrypit a little poke on the cheek. Haurchefant couldn’t help but smile hearing Cherrypit’s little giggle. 

His skin was still ice cold which might be a good sign?? He honestly wasn’t sure. 

Cherrypit decided to save Haurchefant the suspense. Of course he decided to do this by burping out a tiny wisp of fire. “Bah!” The crayon was nowhere to be seen but the flame that he spat out floated gently in the air above him. 

Haurchefant stared in silence as the small ball of flame slowly began to fall to the floor. 

Its epic journey was interrupted when Cherrypit placed his hands under it, the flame landed on his hands like it was nothing. Cherrypit smiled, staring at the glowing fire. “Look!” He held it up as high as he could so Haurchefant could see too! 

Just like Cherrypit, Haurchefant could do nothing but stare for a while. “That’s…Incredible…” He watched as the flame rolled around Cherrypit’s palms. Even sitting as close as he was, Haurchfant could feel no heat coming off of it. 

That didn’t sound right.

“Cherrypit?” Haurchefant asked, “Isn’t it burning your hands?” It had to at least feel a little warm. Maybe like running your hands under warm water? 

The best way to find out something is to try it yourself. That’s what Cherrypit figured when he decided to walk towards Haurchefant with his hands out. “Here!” It was clear what Cherrypit wanted his friend to do.

Not wanting to let Cherrypit down, Haurchefant accepted his offer and held out his hands. “Would it be okay for me to hold it?” It couldn’t hurt to ask. Predictably Cherrypit nodded, quite fast. 

Then before Haurchefant knew it Cherrypit dropped the fire right into his open palms.

Haurchefant flinched, purely on instinct. “By the fury…” His hands were larger than Cherrypit’s so he was able to hold the fire in one hand. He opened and closed his palm around the fire, expecting it to be warm.

The sensation was very strange, to say the least. There was almost no heat. Just enough of it to drive away the cold. Which would be very handy if you lived somewhere plagued with eternal winter. 

Now just a bit comfortable with the fire Haurchefant bounced it up into the air. It felt like he was holding a marble more than a piece of literal fire. He was curious. “Are you doing this?” He had taken note of Cherrypit staring at him the whole time, moving his head alongside the fire.

Cherrypit nodded, with a great big smile. He clapped loudly and giggled. “Happy!” He was so excited that someone recognized his efforts! 

With a tiny flick of his hand he sent the fire zipping straight up. The force from the ascent blew Haurchefant’s hair back. “Cherrypit?! What are you-?!” He ducked to avoid the incoming fireball now flying all over the room. 

Cherrypit was giggling like crazy, some might even call it maniacal. “Fly! Fly!” Wherever he pointed his finger that’s where the fire would fly to.

The fire began to ricochet all over everything. The walls, the lounge seats, the ceiling and basically everything Cherrypit could see.

And just like before, Haurchefant knew exactly what Cherrypit was playing at. “Alright. So it’s like that then…” He assumed a stance that looked similar to one he would take in battle. With an imaginary sword in hand, Haurchefant scanned the room around him.

There was a flash of light far from him, and then suddenly another! But now at arm’s length. “There you are!” Haurchefant swung his sword at where he knew the fire would be.

Cherrypit of course was not going to make this easy for him. “hehe” At the last second he had moved the fire backwards. 

There was a sense of pride welling up inside him. “Well played Cherrypit.” It was now clearer to him than ever that Cherrypit wasn’t someone to underestimate. Even for his age.

Cherrypit was really happy too! It was always really nice to find a new playmate! “Play!” Similar to his sister, all Cherrypit really wanted more in the world was more people to love.

“Again!” Cherrypit held up his pointer finger. “One!” Additionally to learning colors he was also slowly learning numbers. This was his way of telling Haurchefant he only had one more try.

A challenge Haurchefant welcomed. “Then give me your best shot.” And Cherrypit would be sure to deliver. 

At some specific point in time there had been enough commotion that Babycorn finally began to stir. “Huh…?” She rubbed the sleepy out of her eyes and tried to ignore the throbbing pain at the back of her head. 

Once her vision cleared Babycorn could see Haurchefant standing near her brother. Not an odd sight but still a little strange. “Horsie…?” Cherrypit’s nickname for him had grown on her.

At last the entire scene was visible to sweet Babycorn Corn.

Her brother was clinging onto Haurchefant’s arm, his face buried deep in his armor. It personally didn’t look very comfortable to her but if Cherrypit was fast asleep then it was probably comfier than it looked.

Another shock came im the form of a piece of Haurchefant’s hair. A part of it was glowing orange. Contrasting his light blue hair by a lot.

None of that seemed to matter to him though, because as soon as he noticed Babycorn was awake he smiled from ear to ear. “Babycorn!!” Haurchefant rushed over and embraced Babycorn in a tight hug. An act of kindness she was still not very used to.

Babycorn made a sound that sounded eerily similar to a creaking wheel while she was rendered completely frozen. “errrrrrrrrrr” Something along those lines.

“I’m glad you’re up and about again!” He couldn’t help but worry. Even when every single one of Babycorn’s companions assured him this happened literally all the time.

Haurchefant released Babycorn from her psychological prison of her own making and gave her a pat on the head. Using the same arm Cherrypit was sleeping on. 

Babycorn closed her eyes as Haurchefant fluffed her hair around. Her own issues aside, there were a bunch of questions floating around her head. 

But first things first. “Is Cherrypit okay?” Not that she was worried about people she trusted hurting him but…something along those lines had already happened, who's to say it wouldn't happen again?

Haurchefant moved his arm over for Babycorn to get a better look at her brother. He was snoozing away, without a care in the world. “He went and tired himself out while we were playing. I offered to take him somewhere to rest and well...” Dear Cherrypit had just latched on and didn’t let go.

Well now there were more questions. “...huh?” What the heck were he and Haurchefant playing that tired Cherrypit out?! If she knew anything about her little brother it was that his energy was basically endless. 

To the point where Cherrypit rarely, if ever, slept.

…Then again it was just nice for her to hear that Cherrypit had a fun time. Everything else didn’t really matter to her.

“Okay…Then what’s with the glowing hair?”

It was a little worrying for her to see.

That question caught Haurchefant completely off guard because he hadn’t even realized something was up there. It happened right after he caught the fire in between his hands.

Some of it must have landed on his head. Somehow. 

“Ah. Well.”

Where to even begin?

[luzxii]

MORE OMORICK AU OUGH

And here i'm gonna infodump about it lmaoo

- basically Patty'skinda dead, i'm still figuring out what exactly caused it but Rick was in so me was either directly or indirectly involved. Streber was a witnessed and Rick swore him silent on the manner, Streber knowing it was n't entirely Rick's fault and in the stress of th e situation played it off as one of Bob's murd er's. everything having happened on hallowe en. Things going to far to the point fessing u p would cause an even large punishment for covering up a murder, knowing Rick could ge t possible decades of jailtime depending on t he technicalities.

- Rick isolated himself from both the guilt of what happened to Patty and the stress of h aving to hide it or be jailed for who knows how long, he gave up on about everything including his job and broke up with his partn er (who is a certain oc of mine that im plann ing to drag into this) but yeah he entered a deep depression after something like that.

- dreamscape is vastly different then sunny 's, one thing that always griped me in au's is when characters completly unrelated to sunny had an almost identical headspace to him, even if they may not even have one in how they would cope with the situation. As for rick, he doesn't have a "distracting wond erland" in the same way sunny does. He doesn't strike me as the type to want that, instead his dreamscape formed outside of his control, functioning as these reacurring dreams. It presents itself in the form of his home town. It having the same function as the real thing, except some details may be off as its based soley on rick's memory; so certain details are off and obscured, fading off into nothing. Rick is stuck working at one of his first in show jobs in his dream, as a store cashier. Representing how hes stuck in the past, not letting himself move forward.

- dw would function as a sort of job simulato r with quests that involve the other characte rs in quests, as customers or in other places throughout. Dream world is covered in a des aturated hue, Rick being the only one fully gr ayscale. Representing both his heavy feeling s or numbness and the dullness he sees in the world and most of all in himself.

ANYWAYS please give me more ideas if you have any i wanna expand this au- /nf

[crossover-enthusiast]

HSHSHSHSH

When Frank drops em off at the mall, Tom bows and mutters her own word of gratitude before running after the kids into the mall. The Spookeez and her run off into the dolls section, and Tom asks what they might want. They respond that they'd like a Happy Fella, so she grabs one and the three end up encountering Rick. Rick doesn't say anything about them being too young to buy here because they're with Tom, but he does ask why they're dressed for Halloween even though it's June—to which Tom responds by saying—"AH, DEAREST MALL WORKER—DONT YOU KNOW????". Pump says—"It's Spooky Month!". Rick denies that it is, which causes Pump to whisper something about him not knowing it's Spooky Month while giggling, and Tom just smiles down at him.

Tom is off screen for a bit of the Candy Dealer segment since she's paying for some other stuff she decided to buy—and ends up walking out once they pretend to be dead, but she sees them 'dead' and let's out a cut off scream before it cuts to the next scene. But I can't decide if this should happen or if she should happily walk out with the kids and encounter the Candy Dealer with them?? If she does, I can imagine her acting equally oblivious as the kids are since the moment she hears the word 'candy', she immediately sees an opportunity to go see Kevin. She probably proudly exclaims something about how she then great princess will personally transport it to the candy shopkeeper. Before immediately pretending to be dead with the kids after saying 'LET US JOURNEY TOWARD THE MEDICAL AID CENTER!', or they drop down dead and she's just like '..KIDS??? KIIIIIDS?".

Either way, Tom probably wakes up in a hospital bed off screen or she's somewhere else in the hospital. But either way, I can imagine she's probably talking with Patty, at least until she finds the kids outside after presumably just casually walking out of the hospital bedroom like she wasn't dead a few seconds ago. Or just walks out and goes 'AH—THERE YOU ARE—! ER... WHY DO YOU LOOK SO DIZZING-Y?". Either way, she probably just scoops up the kids since they're injured or fixes them up before walking to the candy store with them.

She proudly goes to the candy store with the kids while smiling to herself, and if the kids are still injured—Kevin probably says the 'What happened to you??' line—which leads to Tom saying that she doesn't know and that she just found them like that. She says not to worry and fixes them up right then and there though. But after she does that, Skid and Pump ask for candy cans. And Kevin nearly refuses, but gives in when Tom whines that he's not being very fair, and gives the kid candy cans. However, Tom is reminded of the 'sugar' by Pump, and with surprising cheerfulness, she hands him it. When he anxiously asks what it is, Pump says the 'sugar from the candy dealer' line, and Tom tells him to be sure to enjoy it while not so secretly leaving a note on it, before leaving with the kids. (Alternatively if the kids aren't injured she doesn't fix them up—but the scene just kinda plays out how it does here anyway). The note that she slips onto it is revealed to read 'DISPOSE OF THIS!!', which makes Kevin more stressed out since he doesn't know how the fuck to casually get rid of drugs, even more so when John and Jack walk in the moment he grabs it.

(Stopping so ya can read)

HAH

Honestly her walking in and giving a cut off scream is funnier to me, I like that one more

Also funny to me that even Tom is just "GET RID OF THIS"

[fruitless-vain]

You feed raw right? I'm looking into feeding half kibble half raw and just wondering what brand you use. I feel like you always research so thoroughly that I trust your opinion

I currently feed hungry hunter (sub brand of big country raw) and rotate proteins, they meet the AAFCO nutrient profiles, CFIA standards, are readily available at common stores which make stocking up way easier, are a well established brand, and have an extended feeding trial readily available which they happily provide the full research paper for upon request (which is quite rare for raw brands currently!)

It is not the Worlds Largest Feeding Trial Ever but that’s to be expected when raw is new and research takes time.

And of course my two get annual bloodwork to ensure they’re getting everything they need and we’ve never had an issue.

I’ve tried a few brands in the past

Primal raw- is well reviewed and quite popular (and pricey here) but Yoshi hated it because the frozen meats are squeezed in to shapes which makes the meat pretty dry. Freeze dried formulas she hated no matter what we used to rehydrate the meal with

Stella and chewy’s- again well reviewed well known and expensive. I only ever used the freeze dried as treats since they have some fun exotic flavours like goose and rabbit. It was fine but Yoshi just doesn’t love freeze dried as much. Their frozen formulas are also packed in to shapes which squeezes the juice out so picky dogs might not like it

Iron will raw- I honestly loved this one and so did Yo but it ended up being difficult for me to stock up on with only one company carrying it. Lots of unique flavour options like kangaroo! great bulk boxes and mixes. Just sold in satchels so they’re bloody and delicious to picky Yoshi. They didnt have as much research backing them as my current food choice

Instinct- another highly popular and expensive brand, only ever tried their freeze dried formulas and it was /fine/ but wasn’t a favourite and so enormously overpriced. Again frozen form is Patties and nuggets which lack Juiciness

Ofc I’m in Canada so idk what brands are really going to be available to you, key things are to look for current research from the brand, if they have reports on bacteria present in packing (raw brands should regularly be testing their packs to ensure salmonella, etc. aren’t present/// far below accepted measurements in their packs) and to talk to your vet.

Yes a lot of vets will be weary when you mention it- most of them are worried about cross contamination from poor prep work and bad formulations- but often when you explain that you are a knowledgeable human being wanting to do your best here they’re willing to work with you and help. Vets will know what brands have sent pets to their ER more than others, vets will know what brands have caused deficiencies for their clients in your area. They can help you figure out what foods are available around you that they Do recommend, and what ones they really hope you stay away from.

Raw isn’t nearly as scary as it can seem once you find the right brands to work with. Keep your area clean, don’t have anything in the fridge for more than 3 days MAX and when you thaw to portion it out ensure it’s only semi thawed- you should be cutting through it with force, not like jello, otherwise you’re letting bacteria develop before re freezing it.

[killeroos]

Max, grinning ear to ear, pronounces his whole agreement to the "best and loveliest idea." Looking at Virat, he asks, "Did you know Nick is an engineer?"

***

happy to continue this! 🩷

well, once vk realizes glenn won't let him escape so easily, he decides he needs back-up. he excuses himself to use the loo, where he barricades himself inside, just in case glenn decides to follow him inside to berate him. first, he fires off a quick text to pat, acting like nick, saying "hey baby, im sorry but it'll take me some more time to reach, my boss gave me more work just as i was heading out. 😤" then vk texts his manager. "don't ask any questions, just call me after 10 minutes and tell me im supposed to be somewhere to shoot an ad immediately."

he hurries outside again, where within 10 minutes, he receives the manager's call.

"virat!" the manager thunders on the other line. "where the fuck are you? you were supposed to be at the studio half an hour ago to shoot that ad for ceat tyres!"

"wasn't that scheduled for tomorrow?" vk asks, doing a good impression of confusion.

"it was today!" the manager bellows. "get your ass here asap, everyone else is already here and waiting!"

"sorry, sorry, I'll be there, just give me fifteen minutes!" vk doesn't have to manufacture the sheepish tone, his manager can be really scary when he wants to. mumbling hasty apologies to everyone and shaking glenn's hand off his arm, he makes a wild dash for his car.

half an hour later, vk is back at the bar, this time dressed as nick.

"hello, love!" pat wraps an arm around his waist, leaning down to peck him on the cheek. vk blushes, melting into pats touch. "meet my friends."

pat introduces him to josh, greeny and maxi. vk as nick does a stellar job of playing the shy and starstruck fan, surrounded by his idols. he's certain pat doesn't suspect anything wrong.

"so nick," glenn's grin is more of a smirk and vk is immediately wary. "i hear you're a fan of virat?"

vk giggles nervously. "er, yeah, you could say that." as pat turns around to place their order, he glares daggers at glenn, silently telling him to drop it.

"you know, virat and i have been friends for ages. if you want an autograph or something, i can totally arrange it," glenn continues, winking. "what do you say pat, should i call virat and ask him to join us? his ad shoot must be over by now!"

"oh that won't be necessary--" vk/nick demurs politely, nearly dying inside, but pat cuts across him. "that's a brilliant idea! nick has always wanted to meet virat." then his nose wrinkles in distaste. "although i can't imagine why, the guy is a fucking jerk." pat misses the way vk/nick flinches at the statement.

"I'll call vk right now!" glenn's hand is hovering over the call button now. vk knows full well that it would be an embarrassing situation to explain if, when glenn called vk, it was "nick's" phone that went off in the middle of the bar.

"you don't have to!" he almost yells, panicked. "you don't have to trouble him, he's such a famous man, i doubt he'd have the time for me. i can get his autograph some other time!"

"like when you come to one of patty's matches?" josh speaks up, eyes twinkling.

glenn's grin is devious. pat lights up. vk gulps.

"that's such a great idea!" pat gushes. "nick, why don't you come to the india vs australia match this weekend? I'll get the tickets! and ill even get you virat's autograph, he'll be playing, so you can meet him too!"

"yeah, go ahead nick, we'll love to have you!" glenn sniggers.

vk blinks up at pat, a deer in headlights.

"you'll come to cheer for me, won't you nick?" pat is looking at him with eager anticipation, his eyes shining like crystals, full of hope. how was vk supposed to turn him down?

"alright. I'll be there," vk seals his own fate, swallowing, smiling faintly at pat. "I'll be there."

***

might come back to continue it 😃🤭

AAHHHHH amazing!!!! poor virat just keeps digging himself deeper and deeper 😭😅

[petervc88]

Cappelle Calling - 8 juli 2024

Als LP van de Week stond misschien wel het beste solo album van Eric Clapton centraal: 461 Ocean Boulevard uit 1974. Waarvan ik ook een cover haalde voor de DisCovered. De Filmplaat was naar aanleiding van de verjaardag van Beck. Verder draaide ik veel artiesten die de komende week in Nederland optreden, en waarvan ik er één ook zelf ga bezoeken.

Terugluisteren kan hier.

Dit was de playlist:

Uur 1:

ZZ Top - Gimme All Your Lovin' Son Mieux feat. Nile Rodgers - This Is The Moment Elvis Presley - That's All Right Eric Clapton - Motherless Children (LP van de Week) Joss Stone - Right to Be Wrong Zach Bryan feat. Bruce Springsteen - Sandpaper Patti Smith - Because The Night Eric Clapton - I Shot The Sheriff (DisCovered) Tom Jones - It's Not Unusual Beck - Dreams (Filmplaat - uit 'The Circle') Creedence Clearwater Revival - Bad Moon Rising Eric Clapton - Willie And The Hand Jive (LP van de Week) Zucchero - Freedom

Uur 2:

Alice Cooper - Poison chokecherry - Afterglow Eric Clapton - Please Be With Me (LP van de Week) Sting - Seven Days Bob Marley & The Wailers - I Shot The Sheriff (DisCovered) Stealers Wheel - Late Again Eric Clapton - Let It Grow (LP van de Week) Black Pumas - Colors Taylor Swift - Anti-hero (Acoustic Version) World Party - Ship Of Fools Eric Clapton - Steady Rollin' Man (LP van de Week) PM Warson - A Little More Time Southside Johnny & the Asbury Jukes - I Don't Want To Go Home

Cappelle Calling is iedere maandagavond van 20:00 t/m 22:00 te horen op Radio 90FM. Iedere woensdagmiddag wordt de uitzending herhaald van 18:00 tot 20:00. Suggesties voor DisCovered of De Filmplaat zijn welkom via de Facebookpagina van het programma of via cappellecalling@gmail.com.

[vlazed]

“Hello… and welcome back to my JOKERIFIC FOOD REVIEWS!! This time, I’ll be reviewing my very own JOKER BURGER BOX! Let’s dig in… WITH A SMILE! EYAHAHAHA!!!!!

“First up… the JOKER BURGER!! With a Joker-Beef patty, funny cheese (moldy the cheese is moldy EYEHEHEHHE) and our premium secret ingredient. Let me have a taste… EYEYEHOOO!! JOKERLICIOUS, rich with SOCIETAL FLAVORS!! I give this a JOKER/10!!!”

“NEXT UP… OUR JOKER FRIES!! I know what you’re thinking… why so French? Because these are FRENCH FRIES, IF COURSE!!! EYEHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Cut silly style with a side of ooze, this one is sure to send you squealing to the JOKER ROOM!! Let me have a taste… EEEEYOHOHO!!! NOW THAT’S FUNNY!!! I GIVE THIS…. JOKER/JOKER!!!!!!! OHOHEEEE!!!!!!”

“LAST BUT NOT LEAST, OUR SIGNATURE DRINK! JOKER BRAND GOO & ADHESIVE REMOVED!!! I must say, my stomach has been FULL of goo and adhesives as of late so this will do me WELL!! Let’s give her a SIP, SHALL WE??(“

“…hm. That’s. Um. Oh god. I, er, can’t feel my legs. Oh. I think. I think I’m going to see the great apple car in the sky…! My jokesters…. Stay….. funny..!!!”

if the joker could eatbox

[howlingday]

The Minions are said to be loyal to the most evil person hey can find. So why are they following Jaune all of a sudden?

"Yang!" Ruby called out to her sister across the knoll in the park. She waved to get the older girl's attention. "Yang, you gotta check these guys out!"

"Later, Rubes!" She called back. She and Blake were hanging out of the park while Zwei yipped around them.

"But, Yang, these guys are so funny!" After being waved off a second time, Ruby pulled out the secret weapon. "In fact, they're probably funnier than-!"

"Don't." Yang put a hand over her sister's mouth.

"Oh! Yappo yappo!" Yang looked down to see... something. She didn't know how to describe the creature in front of her. It stood up to her and Ruby's knees, was a striking banana yellow, and wore goggles, coveralls, and working boots. It seemed to talk some kind of gibberish with another one next to it.

"Uh, Ruby, what- er, who is this?"

"I don't know." Ruby answered with a smile. "He didn't say. But they're really funny. Like him," Ruby pointed at the one with one eye, who looked around confused, "he's really good at hamboning."

"Oh, gabba bo boo dah!" The... person blushed and rolled onto his head. He then began slapping his knees upside down. It was kind of cool.

"Chuck! Woody!" A voice called. "I'm back!" The two excitedly looked at each other and ran towards the voice. A handsome man approached with brown bags of groceries in his arms. They tugged on his jeans and babbled at him. "Oh, you made new friends?" He looked up at Ruby and Yang. "Hello there! My name's Jaune. Jaune Arc. And this is Chuck and Woody." He gestured with his legs. "And you are?"

"Ruby, and this is my sister, Yang." Ruby politely introduced.

"And Chuck and Woody are your... friends?" Yang cautiously asked.

"Something like that. They just showed up one day and they've been helping me and my girlfriend ever since." Jaune looked down at the two. "I had to run some errands, and they insisted they come."

His face lit up, and he looked behind him. "Ah, that's her now. We gotta get going. It was nice meeting you!" He looked down to Chuck and Woody. "Guys, can help carry this to the bullhead?"

They nodded, then waved good-bye before taking the bags and skipping off, the young man answering as he waved farewell.

"All the hot guys in the world, and this one is taken." Yang grimaced. "Not to mention playing dad with his friends."

"He seemed like somebody with good humor." Ruby remarked. "Totally your type."

"Yeah, but his girlfriend probably wouldn't like me getting close to her man. I'd be pretty pissed."

"Swear jar!" Ruby barked.

---------------------------------------------------

Cinder was pissed. Jaune could tell by the tone of her voice. But she kept it polite as she could. She was already about 50 Lien in the hole in swear jar funds already.

"Get. Back here. Now." Cinder growled.

"I was just on my way back, Cindy." Jaune replied. "I just had to pick up Chuck and Woody."

"I'll never understand why you let those things follow you around."

"They don't have anyone else." He looked down and smiled at the two playing Patty-Slap, a game much like Patty-Cake, except the person who trips up the game is slapped. He chuckles as Chuck slapped Woody. "Besides, you're the only one who doesn't like them."

"Me, Emerald, and Hazel, you mean." Cinder defended.

"Well, I don't know about Hazel, but Emerald thinks they're all very sweet." He looked at the bullhead schedule. Still a ways away. "She told me so herself."

"Was it in confidence?"

"I don't know." Jaune gave a sly smirk. "Was it?"

"You never fail to confuse me when you intend to." Cinder smiled back and gave a light chuckle. "I'm so lucky to have an enigma like you in my life."

"No, I'd say I'm lucky to have a gorgeous woman like you in my life."

"Very true." Cinder flipped her hair behind her. "Still, Salem isn't happy. One of her eyes saw you talking to her oldest foe."

"Oh? Was Ozma there?"

"No, but his bi-" Cinder coughed as Jaune narrowed his eyes. "His student has silver eyes. That could prove problematic in the future."

"Ruby Rose isn't a problem." Jaune then minimized the call screen and pulled up the top secret student information he had asked Watts to retrieve from him about Ruby. "She's a girl. A child. She's still naive to the world, sees it as black, white, and red. She doesn't know about the gray areas yet. But I think I can help her see the light in the darkness." He then returned to the call. "Unless you're worried about something else."

"I'm not wooried." Cinder replied, looking away.

"You're a bad liar, Cindy~." Jaune teased. "Are you jealous? Worried someone will sweep me off my feet with their noble heart?"

"Absolutely not!" She huffed.

"Don't worry, Cindy~." Jaune smiled warmly and lovingly at his girlfriend. "I only have eyes for you~."

"Just call me when you get back!" Cinder blushed and hung up, leaving Jaune to chuckle. He looked down at Woody and Chuck, who mocked him with kissing faces. "Yeah, yeah." He rolled his eyes. "But don't forget, you two. You're not following the woman of darkness, the men of insanity, vengeance, and pride, or the ambitious and lovely Cinder." He points at himself with a thumb. "You're following the most evil being on Remnant, who uses the greatest force in the entire universe." The two stopped their mocking and waited with expectation. He reached out and grabbed both of their scalps, and twisted them left and right as he chuckled. They giggled in turn.

Jaune Arc was the man who would conquer the world with love.

[writersmilex]

Slipknot And Hugs.

How does Slipknot hug? Hug Head-canons, for the ones who like hugs. 

_________________________________________

0# Sid Wilson :

-Squeeze the life out of you hug.

-He finds it funny to catch you off guard by sneaking up on you. With his arms raised, ready to strike down at his prey.

-He lunges down and traps you in his arms. You scream in surprise, he laughs loudly.

-He hugs you from behind a lot, squeezing you hard, his face pressed into the crook of your neck, nuzzling your hair.

-He will loosen his arms if you're willing to turn around and hug him back!

-Squeeze him back and he's a happy guy.

-Also he likes to hang on you, arms wrapped around your shoulders and keeping you close.

-Somethings he interrupts the conversation your having with someone by talking about unrelated things.

- "In the Netherlands, they eat really thin pancakes for dinner. Did you know that?"

- "Yes Sid, I have been there..."

~~~~

1# Joey Jordison :

- A quick, fleeting hug.

-Usually before going somewhere, or right before a show starts. He will give you a quick hug, and before you can even react he is walking away.

-If you want to keep him around a little longer you gotta force it a little bit. Catch him when he's about to hug you and trap him into your arms.

-Give him a quick squeeze, then pat him on the back and stroke his hair. And he's docile again.

-Refuse to let go, and hug firmly. His head under your chin, nuzzle his hair, he relaxes and stays for a minute longer.

- If one on his band-members catches him in your arms and points it out. Joey will snap at them. You have to hold him tighter to keep him from jumping at them.

- Eventually he's relax in the hug again. Although he really has to go now, but now he doesn't want to let go!

- "go now, or you'll get late." You say, trying to push him away gently.

- "Come with me then?" He suggests. Just go with him, he doesn't want to leave you, and he'll miss it if you don't.

- Things like this have happened before...

~~~~

1.2# Jay Weinberg :

-Friendly hug.

-Often a friendly side squeeze before a show. Sometimes a hug and pat on the back but those are a bit more uncommon.

- Giving him all the pats on the back and he feels well appreciated!

-be a little playful-aggressive, shaking him and squeeze him, it will make him laugh.

- If you do that, he will keep feeling it for a while.

- He believes that hugs are good for you. And he's not afraid to ask for one if he needs one.

- And He will offer a hug if one of his friends appears to need one.

- He doesn't mind long hugs. But not too long, or else he'll get uncomfortable.

- Every time you hug him, it feels like your friendship grow a little.

- He's not one to talk about feelings a lot, but he is willing to hug it out.

~~~~

2# Paul Gray :

-Big bear hug.

-A pretty affectionate guy. Always ready for a hug!

-arms wrap around you, nice and comfy.

-if you got the time, you should play patty-cake with him!

- He has a hard time letting go. "Come on, a little longer?"

- He's so warm and cozy, it can't be real.

- if there is no time for a hug, he will pat you on the back a few times, or wrap and arm around your shoulders.

- Simply standing next to him is already comforting!

- While your hugging, he might even ask you how your day was, or is so far!

- To put it shortly, You really shouldn't refuse a hug from this guy.

~~~~

2.2# Alessandro Venturella :

-Tight hug.

- "come 'ere you!"

- Ensue big tight hug and warm hug.

- He want you to remember this interaction when he is away.

- Come on, squeeze him back. he loves that!

- He will pick you up if he is capable. Twirl you and shake you up good.

- He had definitely left an impression on you with that stunt of his. Good, that's exactly what he wanted.

- His hugs are so damn tight, you better hold your breath!

- It's almost he wants to squeeze the life out of you like Sid does. Or he just wants to show how much he appreciates you!

-Try and get revenge and hug him back just a tight.

~~~~

3# Chris Fehn :

-Squeeze to the side hug.

- He is simply not sure on how to approach the hugging part.

- He just... wraps his arm around you and pulls you to his side, squeezing slightly.

- that's good enough right? no?  Well how about this!

- A big hug, pulling you tight to himself, swaying clumsily and almost falling together.

- As long as you keep both of your feet on the ground, things should be fine.

- He likes to ruffle your hair a lot. He messes it up on purpose,  just to tease you. You're never really happy with it, but it's innocent enough to let it slide.

- He's really happy when you hug him back, it comforts him a lot. And it grands him a break from the usual Slipknot madness.

- Once in a while, sometimes before a show. He will look for you and hug without saying anything. It calms him down.

- He really feels like he needs those, please return them to him.

~~~~

3.2# Tortilla man :

-Surprise hug.

-He doesn't waste any time.

- Hug! Now!

- If he opens his arms wide in your general direction, he hopes you understand what happens next.

- You better give in or else he's gonna follow you around all day and bother you about it.

- He shakes you around and growls while hugging. Making you laugh, and he loves to hear you laugh.

- While hugging, he will roughly pat you on the shoulder a couple times. Pat, Pat, Pat!

- Congrats you have befriended the feral Tortilla man! He's now at your service.

- And if you don't get the hint, he will approach you and trap you in a hug.

- He won't let go until you hug him back!

~~~~

4# Jim Root :

-Enveloping hug.

-big man, big hugs!

-he like to rest his face into your hair, your hair smells nice...

-Jim is pretty shy about initiating the hug. But if you stand there with your arms open he will take the hint.

-i would hug you for hours if he could.

- He's really warm and comfy to hug.

- He like the way your hair smells, and how it feels when he puts his face in it.

- He sometimes bends over you completely and you have to lean back. Hit his back to get him to stop.

- He has always had a habit of looming over people and you are no exception, even if you're on the taller side.

- Safe this guy's back big pushing towards to keep him standing up straight.

~~~~

5# Craig Jones :

-Awkward pat hug.

'Watch the spikes! If he's wearing the mask.

-He may be very silent, but he's a great friend once getting close to him. A good listener!

-when you make the first move he will awkwardly pat your shoulder-blades a few times. Sometimes drumming both his hands on your back.

-you rest your head against the very edge of his shoulder to avoid getting stabbed in the face by those rusty spikes. You might get an infection if you do get poked!

-and that has become a sort of habit. It's just the way you hug him now until you figure how if he's wearing a mask or not.

- No matter what you do, you can't escape the back pats!

- And he doesn't make the first move, you do it! He's not sure how to do it.

-He just stares at you, hoping you can see in his eyes what he is trying to tell you.

- Craig also needs a hug every once in a while. But not to often...

~~~~

6# Shawn Crahan :

-Protecting hug.

-You often join the band when they go do in store signings or fan meetings.

-If someone gets to close for your liking and Clown sees that.

-He will walk up. Grab you and pull you back, glaring at whoever is bothering you, growl at them and drag you back to the others.

-Will stay near you for the rest to the event.

-yeah... People don't talk to you when Clown is around. Mainly because they don't wanna get get harassed by him.

- It's kinda cool, you don't have to worry about anything with him by your side!

- Aside from the protection he provides in those scenarios. His hugs are great, it's very unexpected really.

- You wouldn't expect a guy like him to give such nice hugs!

- It's advised that you enjoy every moment it it!

~~~~

7# Mick Thomson :

-Gentle hug.

-Arms around you, gentle squeeze. He thinks you're frail and could shatter if he's not careful enough.

-loves it when you treat him the same way. It makes him feel at ease.

-usually in public, he just puts a hand on your shoulder and squeezes it, then he leaves again.

-behind closed door he can be a tiny bit more cuddly, but not a whole lot.

- He's not sure of what to do with his hands or where to put them without looking invasive... He will just leave them on your shoulders, that's fine right?

- His hug are never really long lasting, it gets a little awkward...

- In public, he will do nothing more than a quick hug or a pat on the shoulder.

- If he sees that you could need a hug, he is willing to give you one.

- Just don't come running to him every time. There are other people around that can do it better than him, like Paul...

~~~~

8# Corey Taylor :

-Lingering hug.

-come on, just a little longer, please?

-it's reassuring to him. A fleeting moment of nothing but comfort and support.

- pats you on the back, in hope he can assure you as well. It's nice.

- It's feels like a missing puzzle piece that has been found after years of being lost.

- If he feels down he will look for you and hug you without saying anything. And if you hug him back he's a happy guy again.

- If you need a hug, he is always willing to give you one! Always!

- He wants to be there for you, just as much as you are there for him.

- in the right moment, the hug can evolve into a straight up cuddle.

- Hugs just always last longer than they intend to....

~~~~

_________________________________________

Would you like a hug? Here you go!

Thank you for reading.

- Missalot.

[lokilickedme]

I am very pleased to announce that after my mother, a drug lord, an entitled Karen with a vicious one-eyed dog, various noisy one-nighters at the motel, two irritable ranchhands and a herd of murderous peacocks, WE FINALLY HAVE GOOD NEIGHBORS.

My god it took moving 1200 miles to make it happen but it finally happened and I don’t even know what to do with myself, I’m so stupidly thrilled.  The lady is just old enough to be my mom, meaning she’s also just old enough to be Big and Little’s grandmom, which is exactly what all of us need...and yesterday she proved her willingness to be exactly that :)

(under the cut because there’s some blood and icky medical stuff mentioned)

.

So I’m fixing supper and using an abnormally sharp kitchen knife to separate frozen hamburger patties from each other, as one does when one is stupid, and the inevitable happens - slip, slice, MOTHERFUCK, blood.  Thumb damn near severed at the joint.  Husband is outside with the neighbor man, an exceptionally friendly old guy who tends to be exceptionally versed in just about everything you’re too lazy to look up on your own, so I slip on my fuzzy slippers and trot out there with my hand wrapped up in a paper towel to ask him and Tom if they think I need medical assistance.  Frank says “Alright lets see it” so I unwrap.

Tom literally steps back into the street clutching his stomach.  Frank nods his head once and says “Yep, better get goin’.”  But since medical care is a little bit out of the question at the moment monetarily, I gotta argue about it.  So Frank tells me to go inside his house and ask his wife, she’s raised a bunch of kids and grandkids and has seen some shit.  I’m 53, about to be 54, and have seen some shit too...but something about a mom-aged older lady telling me what to do sounds really good right about now.  That plus I’m getting a bit lightheaded and my blood pressure is soaring.

So I go inside and Maryanne is sitting at the kitchen table in an EYE PATCH, which...shame on me, I bust out laughing and just almost call her Director Fury.  I’m gonna plead blood loss and shock at having my almost-amputated thumb wrapped up in a Bounty Quicker Picker Upper and let it go at that.  She gives me a quick summation, something about eye shots for a condition she has, and points at my hand.  “What’d you do, let’s see it.”

I unwrap and hold it out.  “You think it needs stitches?”

She doesn’t even bat an eye.  She literally can’t because of the eye patch, but still.  “Yep, two.  At least.”  She puts down the pill bottle and starts to stand up.  “You going in those?”  She’s looking down at my fuzzy slippers, which are now muddy and messing up her floor.

Ugh, I don’t want stitches.  Mostly I don’t want a $1400 ER bill, but I’ve had enough stitches in my life thanks.  “Think I can get away with just, like, taping it back together?  I did that with Little’s eyebrow.”

She gives me that look.  “So that’s what happened to him.”

Tom and Frank come stomping in just about then and Tom pulls out his phone.  “My friend is a vet, he can sew it up.”

Frank busts out laughing.  “You’re gonna send your wife to a vet?!”

Tom, I swear to god, is already dialing.  “Yeah, he’s a horse vet.”

Maryanne sighs, and then in a defining moment that I will always remember as the exact moment I decided this is my new mom, clears her throat and says, “Neiiiiiiigh.”  You know, like a horse neigh’ing.  Also indicating NO.  She waves her hand at me as she’s heading out of the room.  “Sit down before you fall down, are you allergic to tea tree oil?”

.

About a half hour later she’s got me patched up.  Thumb still attached, very clean and sanitized and antibacc’ed to hell and back, pulled tight with surgical tape and wrapped and bound with gauze and nice neat little closing bandages.  No vet necessary, though Tom does go ahead and call him (for the record he told us to go the ER, he was on his day off and wasn’t in the mood to stitch human pieces back on...he doesn’t like humans very much).  And Maryanne tells me I still should see a medical professional because even though she’s done a pretty professional looking job herself, she can’t vouch for the lack of severed tendons or what have you.  She could tell while it was gaping open that I’d cut into the cartilage, but beyond that, who knows?  Damn knife set the realtor gave us as a new-house gift...Maryanne says they gave her one too and the first thing she did was slice off a fingertip.  Somebody oughtta sue.

Anyway, a couple of hours later the shock has worn off and the pain has set in and I can see the tip of my thumb is starting to turn a concerning shade of deep plum, so Tom calls his mother and we ask her a bunch of leading questions until her memory kicks back in and she starts spouting directions to an emergency walk-in clinic that’s cheaper than the hospital ER.  The best she can do is name off a couple things around it, so I Google until I find it, and then I drive myself out there and stick my wrapped hand up on the desk and tell the receptionist, “You don’t want to see this, but there’s a thumb held on with a bandaid under all that.  Can somebody look at it?”

Ten or so minutes later - me and one surly man who sits staring angrily at me are the only ones there - I’m in a treatment room with a practitioner and she’s unwrapping my thumb while I sit with my eyes closed, because I know that sucker’s gonna fall off and roll across the table as soon as she undoes all that gauze and I don’t want to watch her scramble to catch it.  And then she says “Wow, somebody did a good job.”

The cut - over an inch long and all the way to the bone - is closed and holding nicely.  I can move my thumb and it doesn’t fall off.  There’s no concerning swelling or freaky discoloration - the deep plum was simply because Maryanne had wrapped it so tight - and everything seems to be non-catastrophic.  The doc betadine’s it and then slathers a bunch of surgical glue all over it and binds it back up and I’m headed home again ten minutes later with my thumb still attached, no stitches, a narrowly escaped tetanus shot (thank god it was a brand new knife) and by god a new mom.  I’m claiming her, she’s mine.  Next door neighbor lady doesn’t know what she’s getting into but she’s got a new daughter and some new rowdy grandkids, and I’ve already broken her in real good and proper by bleeding on her table and tracking mud across her kitchen floor.  We’re bound for life now.

She’s even short and redheaded, you guys.  We look more alike than me and my real mother do.

And she doesn’t own a dog.