#'least I was able to get the image out there

[frenchkisstheabyss]

♡ 𝕒 𝕘𝕚𝕣𝕝 𝕝𝕚𝕜𝕖 𝕞𝕖 ♡

♡ Pairing: boyfriend!jeongin x girlfriend!chubby!fem!reader

♡ Genre: fluff/comfort

♡ Summary: Jeongin's the type of boyfriend who never makes you question how much he cares for you. Still, there's one nagging insecurity you haven't been able to move past: Letting him see you naked. Sick of letting your fear get the best of you, you decide that tonight's the night to finally open up to him and it turns out you might've been afraid of nothing all along.

♡ Word Count: 2.1k-ish

♡ Warnings: body insecurities, nudity, a lil making out, mentions of sex, jeongin loves to touch your body, praise, and just all around fluffiness otherwise

♡ A/N: This started out as an anon request but I lost the post for that request (brb crying) so now we have a lil I.N comfort fic that will hopefully make my chubby Jeongin biased babes feel good in their skin cause you totally deserve to.

Moments like these Jeongin wishes could last forever. Between touring, appearances, and studio sessions his schedule’s been brutal lately, leaving him with little to no time to spend with the one girl he treasures most in the world—you. But tonight none of that matters. The world beyond the walls of his apartment doesn’t exist. There’s only him cozied up under a blanket on the couch with you cuddled against his body, your head resting on his chest as you lazily play with the strings of his hoodie.

The room’s dark except for the glow of the television. A movie’s playing but neither of you are truly watching it. His eyes are glued to you, committing to memory how beautiful you are from this angle. You seem so comfortable in his arms, so at peace, and the feeling’s infinitely mutual. 

Your own gaze is fixed on the screen but every image and sound you take in is passive. What you’re truly focused on is a thought that’s been cycling through your brain all night. Before you left to head over here you told your roommate not to wait up, you’d be spending the night at Jeongin’s place. Never one to pass up the opportunity to tease you, she asked if you needed to borrow a sweater or something to sleep in. You instantly regretted admitting to her over drinks that Jeongin has yet to see you naked, even after months of being together.

Whenever you have sex you keep the lights off and throw your clothes back on immediately after. If you shower and he’s around you always make sure to bring your clothes with you into the bathroom. Even Jeongin, who never wears anything to bed, always has something on when you sleep over to make you more comfortable. 

It’s nothing he’s ever complained about or tried to make you feel guilty for. More than anything he just seems happy to be with you, accepting your boundaries without hesitation. It’s one of a million reasons you’ve come to love him as much as you do. Still, you know that hiding from him isn’t something you can do forever. It isn’t something that you want to do forever.

“Baby” he says sweetly, petting your cheek, “You ready for bed?”

You take a deep breath, making up your mind that tonight’s the night. Your stomach sinks at the thought of how he might feel when he sees your body but at least you’ll know now before you fall for him any harder.

“Mmhmm” you nod, nuzzling your cheek against his chest one last time before sitting up. 

Jeongin hops up and gets to work clearing the snacks from the coffee table. With full hands, he leans down to plant the softest kiss on your lips. “You can go ahead. I’ll meet you in there in a second, okay?” 

You agree and gather the blanket in your arms, trembling as you shuffle down the hall towards the bedroom. It’s a short walk but it feels eternal. You’ve stepped through this threshold a dozen times by now but somehow this feels like your first. Suddenly the oversized hoodie and baggy sweatpants that once shielded your insecurities have you sweating like a sinner in church. It’s suffocating.

Tossing the blanket onto the bed, you tug your hoodie off to feel the fresh air kiss your skin. The coolness eases the tension in your body, leaving your hands a bit less shaky as you slip your sweatpants down and kick them aside. You stare down at your body, taking in the sight of your bare legs and your fluffy thighs that are just barely visible in the long t-shirt you’re wearing.

Your chest tightens as you pinch the bottom of your shirt, lifting the fabric little by little. It slides above your thighs, around the contours of your hips, revealing the panties you chose specifically for tonight. They’re silk, rose pink, with a lace trim and a delicate bow in the back and they’re the prettiest panties Jeongin’s ever seen simply because you’re wearing them. 

“Did I, uh, miss something?” Jeongin asks, frozen in the doorway.

Usually when he walks into the room you’re already under the covers waiting for cuddles he’s beyond eager to give you. Being met with this is something new entirely and he can’t help the way his heart races at the sight of it. You turn to find him staring at you wide eyed, shock painting his face. 

“Well, uh, I…” you stutter, fidgeting with the trim of your shirt, “I know you don’t really like sleeping with your clothes on and the weather’s really nice tonight so I thought, maybe, it’d be nice if we did that.” 

Jeongin closes the distance between you, his shock melting into concern. He brings an arm around your waist, stroking your side as he studies your expression.

“Baby, I already told you I’m cool with our clothes being on. I never want you to do anything you don’t want to.”

You rest your hand on his, soaking in the warmth of his touch. “It’s okay” you insist, immediately picking up on his skepticism. He doesn’t believe you for a second. You stare into his eyes, finding comfort in them even as they narrow in your direction. “I want you to see me, all of me, I don’t wanna be afraid anymore.”

“Afraid? Afraid of what? Did I…”

You cut him off before he can finish, refusing to let him believe for a second that there’s anything he did wrong. “No, Innie, you’re so good to me. It's just…I’m not the smallest girl. Feeling me is one thing but seeing me it’s…it’s…”

Your breath hitches at the sensation of Jeongin’s hands massaging your body. He smooths the plushness of your figure beneath his palms, stopping to squeeze your love handles, your belly, your thighs.

“Seeing you would be a gift” he whispers, his lips hovering near yours. “I’ve felt your body in the dark and I’m already addicted to how beautiful it is. If you take your clothes off or not, nothing will change. I promise.”

There’s no denying the rush that you get from being touched by him. You feel it every time, the impulse to let him tear your clothes off. The longing to feel his gaze dance over your naked body the way his hands do. Typically you fight it, your fears dulling your urges, but tonight you don’t. Instead you sweep him into a kiss laced with passion, guiding his hands to grip the fabric of your shirt. 

“Help me take it off, please” you beg, too cute to deny.

Jeongin nibbles at your bottom lip, “Only if you help me too.”

“Deal” you giggle as he steals your breath away, hungrily pulling you back into the kiss.

Your clothes are shed gently and slowly like the petals of a flower. One after the other, his and then yours. All the while Jeongin’s lips are drawn to yours like magnets. Every break he has to take is a small form of torture. You could kiss him every second of every day and it wouldn’t be enough. He needs to drown in it.

He can only bring himself to stop when he feels skin to skin contact. Your naked body’s pressed to his in the bright lighting of his room. He could see you if he wanted to, glance down and delight in the pleasure of something he’s only experienced in his imagination, but instead he focuses on your gorgeous face, his heart set on making sure this is what you really want.

“Can I look?” he asks, fingertips lightly trailing up and down your spine. 

You pause, pacing yourself for a decision you know you can’t turn back from, “It’s okay. You can look.” 

Time seems to stand still as Jeongin takes a step back and his gaze falls below your shoulders where your naked body awaits in all its vulnerability. His is the smooth, toned body that you already know it to be. You’ve caught glimpses of it here and there when he’s changed in front of you. And yours is beyond what he’d imagined during those long nights spent blindly exploring your form beneath the sheets.

At first he says nothing, does nothing. He only stares straight ahead, scanning you from head to toe. But just as the nervousness threatens to return he cracks a smile, his face lighting up, stars twinkling in his eyes.

“You’re beautiful.” He exhales the words as naturally as he breathes. 

You blush, a giggle escaping your lips, “Oh my gosh, stop it.”

“Stop it? How can I? Look at you.” 

Your self doubt wants to tell you that he’s lying—that these words you never imagined you’d hear couldn’t possibly be true—but you can’t deny the way Jeongin’s looking at you or the butterflies swarming your stomach. You try to bring your arms around yourself, a thoughtless attempt at hiding away again, but he grabs your hands, lacing his fingers between yours. 

“I mean it” he whispers, thumbs lightly grazing your skin, “Your body’s gorgeous and I feel lucky that you let me lay eyes on it. Thank you.” 

Your cheeks heat up and you dip your head down, too flustered by his words to maintain eye contact. Jeongin cups your cheek, tilting your head back up. He’s stubborn as always, refusing to let you escape his affection. 

“You think so too, don't you?” he asks, his lips floating back to yours. He almost kisses you, just almost, but lets his lips dance there, teasing you with their warmth. 

“Think what? I don’t…” you begin to speak but the feeling of his hands making contact with your belly steals away what was coming next. You let out the softest breath, bordering on a hushed moan. His touch always sets your soul on fire but this time there’s something different about it. Some new aspect of it that has your head all fuzzy and your knees going weak. 

“Think that I should feel lucky that I get to see you” he says, massaging the plush of your belly, “And grateful that I get to touch you.” 

He glides his palms down to your hips, taking indulgent handfuls of your curves as your body gives into his touch. Your fingertips run up his arm, feeling the ridges of his muscles as they flex with every breath. His body shivers, your quiet praise doing to him exactly what his does to you.

“You can’t say things like that, Innie.” 

“Why can’t I?”

“Because I might start believing it.”

Jeongin flashes you that dimpled smile, “Good. I want you to.” 

His lips collide with yours again and it feels like the whole room’s spinning because it is. He closes his arms around your waist, kissing you lovingly as he twirls you towards the bed. Before you know it your head’s resting on a pillow as your body sinks into the softness of the mattress. You can’t tell if it’s the mattress or the euphoria of Jeongin’s tongue tangled with yours but it’s like you’re floating on a cloud.

Jeongin kisses you like it’s the last time your lips will ever meet. His hands explore your body like they’re terrified to forget even the tiniest detail of what you feel like. The affection he pours into you is overwhelming yet you wouldn’t dare ask him to stop.

He saw you, everything about you, and the only place he ran to was your arms. You feel special, cherished in every way for exactly who you are. All your worries seem like nothing more than silly little things in the presence of his adoration. 

Finally breaking from the kiss, the necessity for air forcing your lips apart, Jeongin curls up beside you, keeping you in his arms as he slips a blanket over your naked bodies. You rest your head on his chest the same way you did on the couch, only now your mind isn’t wandering off somewhere far away. It’s right here with him, basking in the moment. 

“Promise not to hide from me anymore” he sighs, planting the sweetest kiss on your forehead. 

You relax into his arms, smiling as your heavy lids fall shut, “I promise.” 

You thought you’d feel more vulnerable lying beside him with your clothes in a pile on the floor but being like this with him is the safest you’ve ever felt, the most comfortable you’ve ever felt, in your own skin. Hide from him? And miss out on a feeling like this? Never again.

[gotta-winwin]

2019 debut year <> you do too much

word count: 3.7k TW: body image, overworking, swearing, angst italics are in english, bolded words are in mandarin

౨ৎ ─── ─── ──౨ৎ─── ─── ──౨ৎ─── ─── ──౨ৎ

Cyana never meant for it to get this far.

It had started off pretty mild, she'd wake up earlier than usual, take a morning run to the company and get a head start on practice. She'd stay later than the others too, insisting they go home without her and that she'd join them a bit later. Just one more time, she'd say, as she cued up the song once again. Just one more time, she'd say again after that, and by then it would already be close to midnight.

She stared at herself in the mirror, shaking with frustration and fatigue. Her chest heaved harshly as she tried desperately to calm her breath.

Hoshi shot her a worried glance. "Nana, take a break."

She shook her head. "I'm fine."

"Practice is done anyways. The car's ready, pack up." He grabbed her hand to drag her towards their things.

Cyana shook her hand out from his grasp, shooting him a tired smile. "You can go first, Soonie. I'll stay a little bit longer. I want to try Getting Closer again."

Hoshi frowned at her words. "We've already stayed late, nana-yah. Everyone's already left. And you've been staying late for the past two weeks. Let's take a break, okay?"

She shook her head stubbornly. "It's fine, really."

He looked at her apprehensively, not quite believing her. Sighing, he reluctantly agreed, knowing there was no stopping her. "Please be home by at least two am."

She nodded absentmindedly, already turning back around to cue up the track. She made sure Hoshi really had left before continuing, concentrating on perfecting her angles and facial expression. She had failed the company test - when the higher-ups came and decided she wasn't good enough - her ego burned from the hit and she vowed to work even harder. The members had told her she was already amazing, but she couldn't believe them if the company officials didn't think so.

She hadn't told any of the boys she hadn't been returning home. Most of her essentials were stored safely in one of the drawers in their practice room - saving her both the time and energy it took to return home. This way she could wash up and change before immediately getting back to practice.

"Oh, Jeonghan oppa." She answered when he called her phone.

"Nana, where are you?" His voice sounded muffled and tired. "Hoshi texted and said you're still at the company."

She checked the time. 3:26 AM. "Oh. I decided to crash at Mingyu's place." She lied, wincing. She hated lying to him whenever he called to check in. It was pure luck that no one really ever confirmed with Mingyu that she had actually been staying over. "I'm about to go to sleep. You should too, oppa."

She heard Jeonghan sigh in relief. "Okay, good. Goodnight, Nana." He hung up, probably way too tired.

Placing her phone back down on the floor, she glanced once again at the time. It was late. Her body was sore and she was starting to feel a little dizzy. Dragging her feet towards the connected washroom, she was glad they'd installed showers. Cleaning herself up and changing, she returned back to the practice room and crashed on the couch. Just a couple hours, she thought to herself.

"Cyana."

She opened her eyes, squinting at the brightness and letting out a groan. "What time is it?"

A very confused Dino stared back at her. "7 AM." He helped her to sit up, frowning when he saw her wince. "Why are you sleeping here?"

Her eyes widened when she remembered where she was. She inwardly kicked herself for oversleeping. Usually she was able to wake up, get ready and change before everyone else began arriving. They always just assumed she had been the first to arrive. "I-" Feeling rather caught, Cyana could only stare up at Dino wordlessly.

He seemed to catch on rather quickly. "Cyana." He looked at her, disappointment written plainly across his face. "Have you been living here?"

"No!" She protested, knowing he'd 100% tell Jeonghan if she admitted to it and Jeonghan would 100% kill her. "I was just practicing last night and fell asleep, that's all."

He gave her a weird look. "Alright, just-" He sighed. "You really don't need to be pushing yourself so hard. You're already ready."

Cyana gave him a hard stare. Perhaps it was the pain or the lack of sleep, but her nerves were wearing thin. She pushed herself off the couch, walking to the washroom. Splashing water on her face, she attempted to wake herself up.

"Please don't tell the others." She begged Dino once she returned. "Please please please." He looked unconvinced. "Please." She said again. "They'll kill me and you know it."

He sighed. "Fine." He pointed a finger at her, his poor attempt at being stern. "But you've got to promise me it's the last time."

"Got it." She promised, although she knew she'd probably end up breaking it. "Thanks, Chan."

He laughed softly, wrapping his arms gently around her waist, frowning when he felt how skinny she had gotten. He was about to comment on it when the practice doors opened and a hoard of members rushed in, all still slightly half-asleep.

"Aigoo~" Seungkwan cooed at the position they'd caught them in. "Our maknaes are so cute."

Dino flushed, trying to pull away but pausing when he realized Cyana was leaning on him, her eyes closed.

"Is she okay?" Jun mumbled, sipping on his ice coffee and glancing at the girl.

"Hm?" Cyana opened an eye, jumping a bit at the sudden appearance of so many people. "Oh! You're all here."

"Yup." Vernon walked over, ruffling her hair. "You ready?"

She sighed, reluctantly detaching herself from Dino, shivering at the loss of his body heat. "I guess."

Jeonghan had thought something was off from the way Cyana sounded over the phone. She sounded sick and incredibly out of it, her words slurring slightly as she spoke to him. He would've pressed the girl for more answers, but Hoshi's text had woken him up mid-sleep and he was aching to the state of passing out.

Even as they started practice, Jeonghan's mind drifted from the choreo over to Cyana. His mental list of things wrong with her had been gradually growing over the week and he was getting concerned.

Jeonghan's mental list with things that are wrong about Cyana:

She's been saying over at Mingyu's a suspicious amount. Sure, he could understand, the Minwon residence was easily the quietest out of the bunch, and Mingyu was Cyana's closest friend. He figured Wonwoo was in his room most times anyways.

The amount of canceled plans the boys have been complaining about to him was increasing. It felt like every couple days, at least one member would approach him requesting a therapy session, where they just complained about how Cyana was ditching them for their usual hangouts.

He rarely ever saw the girl anywhere but the company. Under any other circumstance it would've been normal, but Cyana had expressed before she hated the feeling of captivity the company gave her.

He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen her eat something.

He could've continued listing reasons in his head, had it not been for the loud thud and a piercing screech that followed it. He froze mid dance move and spun towards the noise.

Cyana was on the floor, Woozi a mere step away from her as he crouched down to examine her. DK was apologizing for the loud scream, although he continued to panic loudly.

"I think she fainted." Woozi concluded, voice calm. His furrowed eyebrows were the only sign he was worried.

"Fainted?" DK gasped out loud.

Mingyu reached down and scooped the girl into his arms, depositing her on the couch. "Yeah, she's out."

"Is she injured?" Seungcheol asked, hovering over her as Mingyu checked. He sighed with relief when Mingyu shook his head. "It was a loud thud."

Jeonghan let out a groan of both realization and disappointment.

"What." Seungcheol whipped his head around at the sound of Jeonghan's groan. "Do you know something?" He pointed at Cyana, who was still laying limply on the couch, head supported by Mingyu's large hand. "Why is she like this?"

Jeonghan raised his hands in defence. "I only suspected. I mean- I thought it was weird she was sleeping over at Mingyu and Wonwoo's so often recently but-"

"What?" Wonwoo cut him off. "She hasn't been over since-" He flushed at the memory. "Since she hurt her ankle."

And all at once, the pieces seemed to fall into place in Jeonghan's mind.

"She's been living here, hasn't she." Dino beat him to the punch, stating what he had just realized. "I found her here asleep when I came in this morning."

They all turned to Seungcheol, who seemed to be at a loss for words, staring at Cyana.

Cyana awoke just in time to see Seungcheol leave, the practice room door swinging shut behind him. She struggled to get up, as strong hands grabbed her and situated her to lean back. A bottle of water was shoved wordlessly into her hands by Vernon, already opened.

"You scared us." Mingyu muttered, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

She was vaguely aware of the other boys standing around her. Her ears still rang but she could faintly hear Woozi talking to Jun.

"I swear I tried to catch her. I didn't let her drop on purpose." He was defending himself to a wary Jun. "I'm not that mean."

She would have smiled at how defensive he sounded had it not been for the glowering face of Jeonghan, who was staring holes into her skull.

"Everyone out, please." Jeonghan signalled the others to give them the room. He sat down next to Cyana, letting out a loud sigh once everyone had left.

She knew she was in for it now.

"You wanna tell me what's been going on?" He said quietly, rubbing the seam of her sleeve between his thumb and index finger. "No lies this time."

She felt a lump form in her throat. "Jeonghan-"

"I'm not mad, Cyana." He looked at her sadly. "I just want to know why you haven't been taking care of yourself."

On any other occasion, she would have argued that he was mad. He hadn't used 'Nana' when saying her name.

"You haven't been staying at Mingyu's, I know that for a fact. And you've been canceling plans with the members. You also haven't been eating well. Jun says you rarely take the breakfast he sets aside for you." He continued, frowning when he saw her eyes well up with tears.

"I'm sorry." It was all she could muster.

"I don't care that you lied, Cyana." Jeonghan wiped her tears away with the pad of his thumb. "Just tell me why. Are we doing something wrong?"

She shook her head frantically. "No." God no.

"Then why?"

She finally looked up from her lap to see him, feeling an ache in her chest when she saw how desperate his expression was.

"The company officials-" She paused, and Jeonghan nodded for her to go on. "they said I wasn't good enough. Not quite good enough to debut with seventeen. They said they had a lot bet on me but I was disappointing them."

She got worried when he stayed silent. "Oppa?" She whispered, reaching out tentatively to shake him.

He laced his hand in hers before she could reach him. "I'm sorry they said all that." He turned to look at her, a serious expression taking over his face. "But you know they're wrong, and even if you think they're right, you shouldn't have risked your own health like that."

Cyana nodded. "I know. I just-" She tried to find the words to explain. "I just wanted to debut so badly. I wanted to look good onstage next to all of you." It was a lame explanation but it was the best she could give.

"I know." Jeonghan nodded. "And you will." He pointed at the large mirrors on the wall in front of where they sat. "I watch you dance with us everyday through those mirrors. And you look beautiful. Full of talent and raw power."

She let out a shaky breath.

"Is that why you haven't been eating your meals?" He asked, looking back at her. "Did they say something about that too?"

She nodded. It was perhaps the comment that had hurt her the most. "They said I looked too heavy. That I was supposed to be a girl member. Not a boy."

Jeonghan let out a huff. "Who the fuck-" He muttered, almost to himself. "Give me the names of the people, I'll talk to them."

Cyana smiled despite the heavy setting. "They're higher-ups, Hannie. You can't do anything."

"Psh." Jeonghan waved away her concern. "Still. I'll write their names down and get rid of them once we're big enough."

She supposed she admired his optimism. "Okay." She relented. "I'll find their names and text them to you."

Jeonghan leaned his head on the crook of her shoulder, slouching a bit to reach it. "You know we love you, right?"

She didn't say anything.

"You don't have to believe it now." He said softly. "I know you're a bit weird about stuff like that." He squeezed her hand firmly. "Just need you to hear it."

She nodded. "Okay."

They sat in silence for awhile, and Cyana's ears stopped ringing. "Where did Seungcheol-oppa go?" She whispered, curious but not wanting to ruin the peacefulness of the moment.

Jeonghan cracked an eye open from his spot on her shoulder. "He's dealing with it his own way."

"Dealing with what?"

He sat up straight to look at her. "You fainting. He's our leader, he's going to feel the responsibility."

She frowned. "It's not his fault though."

Jeonghan shrugged. "It's just how he works. He's going to blame himself for not noticing it all sooner either way. Even if it's not his fault."

She stood up, swaying a bit before steadying herself. "I'm gonna go look for him, is that okay?"

She could swear Jeonghan was smirking a little. "I think he'd like that."

She found him in one of the empty studios. Seungcheol was sitting on one of the chairs when she walked in, head in his hands. He got up quickly once he heard the sound of her footsteps.

"Cyana." He breathed out, thankful she was okay. "How are you feeling?"

"Better." She whispered, sitting down and motioning gently for him to join her. She watched him hesitate before he sat down next to her.

"You shouldn't have pushed yourself so hard." Seungcheol scolded her.

"I know."

"And you should've told someone you weren't going back to the dorm. You should've let me know how much you were struggling."

"I know."

He let out an exasperated sigh. "Tell me what happened. Everything leading up to today. I assume this has been going on for awhile."

She could tell from his face he meant business, so she told him without a fight. She recited everything - the skipped meals, the ditching hangouts, the sleeping in the practice room, the toothbrush and skincare hidden in the drawers - all of it. She saw his face twist in pain when she got to the part about the company officials.

"You should've told me." He whispered, once she was all done.

"I thought perhaps you didn't want to know." She admitted.

He looked astonished she would even say such a thing. His mouth opened and closed again as he reconsidered his choice of words. "I'm your leader, Cyana. I care about this team."

"And I'm doing my job." She said, not getting what he meant. Wasn't SEVENTEEN doing quite well? And the team would do even better if she was perfect for the comeback.

Seungcheol didn't know if he wanted to strangle her and cry. "Let me reiterate." He looked at her. "I care about you, Cyana. Not the comeback."

She blinked. "Oh."

He felt more like crying, Seungcheol decided. She looked so fragile and confused at the mere thought of him even caring about her. A burning sense of rage fuelled through him. Who on earth had taught her to be so skeptical of care and love?

Cyana panicked when she saw the tears in Seungcheol's eyes. "Please don't cry." She whispered frantically, not knowing what would happen to her if she saw the dependable and strong Seungcheol break down.

"Our maknae~" Seungcheol whispered back, reaching over to brush his hand against her cheek. "Maybe I didn't do well enough, to show you you belong here. I tried being a strong leader, guiding everyone through the comeback, letting you adjust to how busy life in SEVENTEEN can be. But maybe you needed more of a gentle touch? Something more personal?" At this point he seemed to be talking to himself. "I know I didn't really take the time to connect with you on a deeper level like the others did. I was so focused on guiding you through work. I must've done something wrong, if you felt like you needed to hide this much from me. Push yourself this far."

Cyana's lips trembled as she desperately held back tears. "It's not your fault."

"It is." Seungcheol corrected her quietly. "I always strived to be a leader you could tell anything to." He paused, looking at her with sad eyes. "I'm sorry you felt the need to break yourself so much to make this comeback happen. I'm sorry the company said such harsh things. I should've noticed."

Cyana felt the sudden strong urge to give him a hug. It confused her. She only ever felt comfortable enough to initiate any sort of contact with Jeonghan, Dino, Joshua or Mingyu. Yet, when Seungcheol finished his speech and looked at Cyana with those sad, wide eyes, she decided perhaps she could make an exception. She leaned slightly in his side, stiffing slightly when his arms wrapped around her frame.

"It's not your fault." She managed to say again, telling herself to relax into his hold.

"I know it's not logical."

Cyana let out a breathy laugh. "I am sorry I lied to Jeonghan."

"I know." Seungcheol pulled her a little closer. "Please don't ever do this again. All of it. You're much more important than a silly comeback."

She nodded. "I won't."

"I'll talk with the company about the whole test thing. They shouldn't have done that, or said those things. And you need to start eating." Now that he was hugging her, he could feel just how malnourished she was. He felt as if he could accidentally snap her just by moving the wrong way. "I'll talk to the stylists too. Everyone needs a good reminder that you're part of SEVENTEEN forever."

Cyana's face flushed. "I'm sorry." She mumbled again, feeling bad for making him so worried. "I didn't know it'd hurt you so much."

Seungcheol let her go, giving her a sad look. "I hated seeing you like that. You were so pale and fragile."

She didn't know what to do with the amount of loving words she was receiving today. She looked away awkwardly. "I'll be more careful now, I promise."

She could hear the smile that overtook his face despite not looking at him. "Good." He said. "Start getting it into your head that you're important."

Both Jeonghan and Seungcheol monitored her as she cleared out her drawer and any other sign that she had been living in the practice room. She promised them both that she'd return everything back home and that she'd keep them there.

"You scared me." DK whined. "I thought you'd died."

Cyana was grateful at how lighthearted the atmosphere was once her and Seungcheol had returned to the practice room. Everyone was still obviously worried, but they seemed to have all decided not to sour the mood further. Everyone had noticed the watery eyes from both Cyana and Seungcheol as they returned but pretended not to.

"I'm sorry~" Cyana smiled at DK's dramatics.

"Ah, hyung- it was your scream that scared me the most." Dino butted in, cackling at the memory. "I was mid move and I heard a blood-curdling cry. I thought I was in a horror movie."

The others laughed along, each of them relating to the younger boy.

Joshua sidled up to Cyana amidst the chaos Dino's remark had brought, holding her waist to support her as his eyes roamed her face for any sign of lingering fatigue. "You sure you're alright?"

Cyana nodded, grateful for the warmth radiating from his body. "Yeah. Sorry."

He shook his head. "No more apologizing. Just join Hoshi, Seungkwan, Myungho and I for dinner later today, okay? We're going to check out this new restaurant Hoshi found online."

"Okay."

From the other side of the room, Seungcheol clapped for everyone's attention. "Okay! We're resuming practice!" He looked at Cyana. "You're going home." He pointed at her. "Don't argue with me."

"What?" She protested. She was feeling fine. "I'm fine!" She insisted.

Her remark was met by a roomful of protests, even Woozi and Wonwoo joined in as everyone told her to get the fuck home.

"No really!" She protested again once the noise died down. "Please, Coups-oppa. I won't push myself too hard, promise."

She watched him think it over. She could practically see it as he fought himself. "Fine." He finally relented. "But-"

She paused her celebration.

"You're sitting out for practice. You can watch and take notes, but no dancing."

She sighed, but she knew it was the best she was getting out of him. "Fine."

As she sat on the couch, notebook in hand as she took notes on the performance, she couldn't help but glance towards their leader. He was working hard, giving 120% like he did with everything he put his mind to. She felt a glow of gratitude towards him. For a second, she allowed herself to believe that perhaps she did belong here, with these people. And perhaps him and Jeonghan were right - those people had just been mean and she was already good the way she was.

author's note: wahhhh thank you so much for reading! this one was quite a ride - writing about scoups as the leader always sends tears to my eyes, we truly don't deserve him. next fic is cyana's debut fic (finally!)

[tiny-minecraft-rabbit]

Do you think we could get 2 "you were never supposed to see this" with either Bad Boys or Jimmy and Joel?

Joel grumbled as he placed fended off another creeper, hastily putting down another torch down as if the low light would do anything in the massive cave they had found themselves in. He turned to a squealing Jimmy as the other took down a skeleton (there was several arrows lodged in his shield), "Where on earth did he go? Jim, you sure you saw him go this way?"

Jimmy quickly closed the space between, keeping his head on a swivel and his shield up as more mobs came out of the shadows. "Yeah! I'm telling you he came running down here. I mean, he told me not to follow, but given what's been going on I didn't want to leave a Bad Boy alone."

"Yeah, he's been antsy lately, it's been freaky," Joel agreed, knocking out a zombie.

Unfortunately, that zombie had called for reinforcements; and, with the several creepers and skeletons making ranged attacks, they had gotten themselves into a sticky situation.

"Not good- Not good!" Jimmy yelped as he stabbed at a zombie with a golden chestplate. With his shield down for just a moment a skeleton was able to lodge an arrow into his shoulder. He took a startled step back to lift his shield again, blocking the second arrow and swing of the zombie's sword, and then creeper went off next to him, sending him sprawling onto the ground.

"Jimmy!" Joel screeched as he turned away from his own fight to try and pushed the offending mobs off of his friend.

They were surrounding them. Joel doesn't think he could keep off the brunt of them off before Jimmy could recover enough to get back up. They were in trouble. They had so little time already, to lose more to a blooming mob of mobs didn't seem right.

Then, something shifted, a whole side of a cave column seemed to come loose. Joel could only see the shape in the darkness, it leaning forward and he anticipated the sound of the crash (even if he'd never seen stone collaspe like this, not something as big as that so suddenly), but instead of crashing the whole shape straightened out.

His blood ran cold as something enourmous stood over them, nearly nine blocks tall, then crouching down like a predator ready to pounce. This wasn't anything he had seen before. This wasn't anything he could fight.

It reached forward and he flinched away, covering himself and Jimmy with his shield. He could here Jimmy gasp underneath him, the clambering of his sword as he either dropped it or struggled to bring it up off the stone.

There was burst of wind over them, the creature swiping it's great arm over the area. Joel held his breath, waiting for the next swipe to actually hit them this time.

"Oh, guys-" The creature spoke. His breath caught in his throat. That was Grian's voice. "Guys, I'm not going to hurt you."

Joel slowly lowered his shield. For the first time he noticed the sudden lack of mob noises and he looked to the right, noticing the rather large pile of drops and XP. All the monsters were dead.

He swallowed and slipped the sword into his inventory for a moment to place a torch down in front of them. Immediately light was shed across the creature. For a second it was unrecognizable, big purple wings sprouting every which way, several on their back and face and even one on each arm- which did not seem very anatomically possible, but neither did the size of this thing -and bright glowing eyes and feathers covering half their face.

Then the actual facial features registered, the eye shape and nose and familar furrow of their brows. "Grian?" Joel asked, blinking rapidly, like it would dislodge the image of his friend off this creature; or at least make it make more sense.

"Grian!?" Jimmy repeated, albiet louder, pushing himself fulling up to look around Joel, "Grian! Dude! What happened to you?"

Grian gulped, slowly bringing himself down to sit criss-cross, not that it helped much with the height thing, "You were never supposed to see this."

""-Never supposed to see this"? "-Never supposed to see this"? Grian, you're a blooming giant! How on earth did this happen? How were we not supposed to see this?" Joel asked, waving his hand around to gesture at the whole of Grian.

"I was hoping I could get a handle on it before you saw," Grian replied, mostly under his breath, and pouting slightly, "I told Tim not to follow me."

"He didn't follow you. I came looking and he followed me. Completely different," Joel answered, crossing his arms.

"Yeah! Completely different," Jimmy shouted, also crossing his arms, "Now explain mister! I think as your team mates we deserve an answer for.. this!"

"I-" Grian started and stopped, growling lowly for a second. That something that Joel usually found funny when it was coming from someone the same size as him, but now it vibrated through him, like thunder overhead, "I shouldn't have to tell you anything... but fine. Just- Later. I'll explain later."

Joel wanted to argue, but when Grian set his mind to something there was nothing to do to change it. "Fine-"

"What?" Jimmy squeaked, turning to Joel, "We're just gonna accept this?"

"Yep," Joel popped the 'p', putting his shield away as well.

He walked up to Grian, whose eyes widened and tried to lean away. "Joel, what are you doing?"

Joel didn't answer and instead found the lowest point on Grian, with his legs crossed that ended up being his ankles, and started to climb.

"Joel?!" Grian repeated, hands hovering over him. Joel paused at the sight of them, Grian usually had little hands, but now they were big enough to wrap around his entire torso. He didn't though, didn't even bring a finger down to poke or push him off. Joel smirked and climbed up his knee.

Jimmy seemed to catch on and was right on top of Grian right after, climbing up the other knee, grinning madly as Grian started whining profusely.

"Guys! Don't- Why?" He pleaded.

"Cause it's funny, in'it?" Joel answered, settling in on Grian's thigh, leaning against his chest. Jimmy did the same on the other side. "Not to mention, we spent so long searching for you, we're tired now."

"No-"

"Yeah, Grian, caving is hard. We need a nap," Jimmy added, hands behind his head as he closed his eyes.

"You two were are way too ready to be menaces about this," Grian grumbled, leaning back himself against the cave pillar behind him. "Almost wish I scared you off instead."

Joel hummed but didn't say anything in response. Grian sighed above them, and he could feel the movement all around him. He was sure the moment Grian gained the confidence to touch and grab them he'd be getting his revenge- if whatever this was wasn't handled before then. Either way he and Jimmy would regret it later.

For now, they'd take a nap, and waste away the rest of the day, probably in the safest place they'd be in for the rest of the season.

[mattyriddlesbitch]

Hogsmeade(Chapter Four)

Mattheo Riddle x F!Reader

Warnings: None

One of the great things about being a third year is you now had the ability to go to Hogsmeade with your parents’ permission. The first visit was today and you already got your permission slip turned in. You got dressed, feeling free out of the school uniform already and were ready for more freedom by leaving the school grounds.

You strolled with your friends through the castle, following the other students who were going to Hogsmeade as well. You spotted Mattheo staying back in the courtyard, watching his friends leave and you ditched your group to walk over to him.

“You’re not coming?” You asked and he turned his head to look at you.

“No.” He shook his head, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“Why not?” You furrowed your eyebrows.

“Didn’t get the permission slip signed. It’s fine.” He shrugged, looking back out at the students leaving the grounds.

You frown, following his eyes before looking back at him. “That’s not fair. Everyone should be able to go.”

“I can always sneak out when no one would be there to snitch on me.” He said, acting like he wasn’t upset he couldn’t go with everyone.

“Do you want me to stay with you? I don’t mind.” You offered and he looked back at you.

“No, you go have fun. Don’t worry about me.” He said before turning back to head inside the castle.

You watched him leave before following the other students to Hogsmeade, trying to catch back up to your friends.

After a few hours of roaming the shops and exploring the little town, you start heading back to the castle with a few of your friends. You felt bad the whole time knowing Mattheo couldn’t go. And you had your suspicions that the reason wasn’t as simple as he forgot to get it signed, but that he couldn’t. Maybe his mom refused to sign it? Or couldn’t? Maybe she wasn’t around? You obviously knew who his dad was, but he never talked about his mom.

You broke off from your friends after getting to the castle and looked around for him, hoping he was in a better mood than before. You found him alone in one of the corridors, staring at one of the random statues.

“Mattheo!” You called as you walked over to him.

“How was Hogsmeade, princess?” He asked as he turned towards you, walking towards you and leaning against the wall when you got closer.

“It was okay. You really didn’t miss out on anything.” You said, pulling your bag in front of you to dig something out. “But I did get you something.”

“You got me something?” He asked, clearly confused on why you would do that.

“Yeah. Nothing crazy.” You pulled out a small bag of treats. You really didn’t know what he liked, so you grabbed a bag of sweets pretty much everyone likes, and you also grabbed a box of Bertie Bott’s beans so he could do something fun with his friends. You handed him the treats, fixing your bag strap as you looked at him, hoping he liked it.

“Why?” He asked, holding onto the items.

“Well, you know, you didn’t get to go, so I thought I’d at least get you some sweets. And then I saw the beans and thought it might be something fun to do with your friends.” You shrugged, internally cringing at your weak explanation.

“Thanks.” He said, still looking slightly weary. “So nothing fun happened there?”

“Not unless you count Enzo slipping on the way there, so he got covered in mud, but refused to go back just to change.” You felt bad for Enzo, but you knew it would be something Mattheo would find funny.

He smiled slightly at the mental image. “Is he on his way back? I wanna see how pissed he is.”

“Probably by now, yeah. He looked pretty upset the last time I saw him.” You said.

“Oh, now I gotta see this. That’ll make this day a lot better.” He said, heading towards the front of the castle.

“You’re awful.” You shook your head but followed him anyways.

“He’s not hurt. It’s fine.” He said, turning to walk backwards to talk to you.

“It’s mean to laugh at him.” You said, but it was hard fighting the smile, especially seeing him in a better mood.

“I won’t laugh. I just wanna see it.” The smile on his face said otherwise though.

“Again, you’re awful.”

He chuckled and turned back around, running now with you after him to see poor Enzo all covered in mud.

You both made it just in time to see the other boys entering the castle with Enzo grumbling about his clothes. Mattheo laughed at him from your spot on the stairs above them.

You hit his arm playfully. “You said you wouldn’t laugh.” You shook your head at him.

“Come on. That’s funny.” He gestured to the poor boy covered in mud that had dried by now, making him uncomfortable.

“I’ll remember that, Riddle. You seem to forget that I know where you sleep.” Enzo shouted up to us when he heard Mattheo laughing.

Mattheo just laughed at him, leaning on the railing and watching the boys head back to the Slytherin dorms to presumably change and put away the things they bought.

You rolled your eyes at him and walked away to your own dorm to put away your own stuff. 

Mattheo would never dare tell you this, but he hates the candy you got him. He thinks it’s disgusting. But instead of throwing it out, he stored it in a drawer. He doesn’t think he could honestly bear your disappointed face if he told you he didn’t like them.

Current Taglist

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[petitprincekiryu]

Gift for waifu material that is @the-composer  💜

[fisheito]

@requiodile EXACTLY my thoughts !!!! rei's too old and tired and will probably have to clean the loads outa his butt for the next several hours. yakumo can carry HIMSELF back home after wreaking that kind of destruction

[kelocitta]

What a worthless animal

[catboy-jupiter]

finished mcl ng ep 4 and. what a strange experience. while i ofc love that we get a photo w/ thomas on his bike, it's very strange to me to see the experience be described the way it was when i've been riding motorcycles since i was like, what, 7? much, much possibly earlier?

like, i get it, romance and all (kinda. i AM arospec and ace, but i am also a writer so i do get the point), but it's just a bit of a tonal whiplash when i, the player, consider tightly holding onto the person actually "driving" it to be very normal and non-romantic (my period of being weird about it was when i was 10 and super duper anxious about any way i could be perceived), and the character, who has never ridden a bike and at first even refuses to hold properly onto thomas and then. on the special scene, starts to wax poetic about his scent and wanting to talk to him and wishing they could do this with their helmets off lol

anyway overall. cool chapter i guess.

[bf-rally]

today i tried to code more

[arolesbianism]

I am rotating Light so hard in my head rn girlies who just straight up fucking torture ppl cause she can

[ickysmelly]

Im genuinely so excited to be drawing again I thought I was dying

[seariii]

In that sense it's true... It's good I was over here...

[emirrea]

I decided to hop on my second Genshin account today, did the dailies and events that are available, got enough primos for like 9 pulls, and decided to throw them at Furina. I was close to soft pity and was guaranteed to get her, so no surprise that she came home. Yay!

I switch to Baizhu's banner kinda without thinking much, just going through in my mind what I need to get for Furina and whether I even have good teams for her. I do a couple pulls for Baizhu, still thinking that fuck, I don't really have any good healers that can keep up with the damage Furina deals to the whole team.

And then Baizhu comes home at 3 pity LMAO

Aaaand then I realised which boss I need to fight to level up Baizhu and legit almost cried

[sysig]

Important thing to note: If you want to look up puppers gently nomming each other’s noses, please use the keyphrase “Muzzle Grab” because “Dog Nose Bite” is very upsetting

[skywalker-swift]

last night while we were sitting by the fire (having been drinking and smoking weed most of the night) my friend dropped that him and his partner (who is also our good friend btw) are gonna start trying to have a baby in APRIL and I just was so shocked (bc just before that I was trying to say you guys can’t surprise drop a pregnancy on us in a place like this) that I was just like oh! Okay! Cool! And he did not seem happy with my response lol

[director-yomi-hellsmile]

If I actually think about it for a bit all of our fuckass health problems (the physical ones) seem to have had their start around when the pandemic went on in 2020 which made me get sick with some mystery illness(es?) for a ridiculous amount of time until it fucked up our body just completely. Side-eyeing our mom who saw us take masks a bit too seriously back then and sat us down to tell us off and argue via facts and logic why we're so stupid for believing in covid until we started crying and had to agree to stop wearing masks properly while going out with her anymore. We should have bit her then actually