#'if you leave I'll leave' is CRAZY
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Why are you smiling?
PERFECT 10 LINERS (2024-2025)
#perfect 10 liners#thaidrama#boyslovesource#thaidramaedit#bledit#userdramas#asianlgbtqdramas#toxicgayedit#hornyblsource#p10ledit#asiandramanet#uservix#mjtag#userjamiec#usersasa#mine#*gifs#the shot in the 3rd gif???? ACTUAL ART#boom might actually be the most beautiful person on the planet#also 'i'll let you lie still' is crazy work plssss#i have so much to say but for now i'll just leave it at this
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orpheus & eurydice
#rin nohara#obito uchiha#obirin#(dubiously)#so so so crazy as hell about the rin that exists only as a (?) delusional hallucination in both obito and kakashi's head and how at the ver#end of the series we kind of get the vibe ghost rin was actually pretty chill about obito waging war against the whole entire world on her#behalf.. like...#the afterlife is canonically real and tangible and also you can pull people from it with edo tensei... so i also kind of feel like the#ghost of your closest childhood friend gaining some measure of sentience and coming to terms with her death and the greater context of what#it stood for in the ninja world... and obito being (to some degree) a very willing vessel to carry out justice and change after the#ninja world robbed them of their futures ??? that rules so hard to me#anyway#i have more and more thoughts about this because obviously but i'll leave it at that beloved bloggers... goodnight#my art
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"sounds nice... having a partner"
#the walking dead game#twdg#violentine#clementine twdg#violet twdg#MAANN when clem says this in s3 JUST WAIT BBY#people who say clemvi has no basis like ep2 isnt just them working as a team for 2 and a half hours regardless of player choice#like be fr#clem telling louis that violet patching up the back wall is ok because she needed something to keep herself busy. married behavior#vi asking clem to help check in on everyone while she deals with the wall. their shared smile when she comes back outside :)#and then they sit in the leadership spot together overlooking the yard and everything theyve planned together coming to fruition :)#sorry i just think their romance set up in eps 1 and 2 is obvious as FUCK and im tired of (Some) people pretending it isnt#'i havent seen her warm up to someone in a long time' brody literally tells clem that vi seems to like her after its been 24 hours#after shes been a block of ice for a whole year. and clem just melted those walls down immediately while they fought walkers together#violet is so devoted to clem post ep1 its embarrassing for her#'i saw she had you pinned and i- shit i got So crazy...' sorry if you dont think shes in love with clem idk what to tell you#'i'll tear that boat apart before we leave without you' i know you would girlie!!!#the animators went CRAAZAYAYAYAY the way they look at each other... their little smiles at each other....even before the belltower#the way clem looks at her while they dance.... the way she puts her head down on her shoulder so contentedly....#and then she keeps her head on violets shoulder as she pulls away so clems chin gets dragged with it like she doesnt want to let go#'so you never forget that night' 'i never will' they are DISGUSTINGLY in love with each other it makes me physically ill#its 2024 and im still hearing 'i just didnt see it :/'. lazerbeams you#spaced art 2024
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the way guts allowed casca to stab him as he finally realized how much he meant to griffith and that he ruined everything by leaving makes me insane. like, just imagine how it must've felt. the one guts always wanted to have a look at him was, in fact, doing way more than looking at him the whole time and he just left him, without explanation. for nothing.
#i'd probably join casca and throw myself off that cliff because fuck.#not sure if i could handle knowing i fucked something this bad honestly#i love judging guts for leaving griffith but the truth is i've done similar things too. some circumstances made me somewhat “detached”#so i'll stop talking to people sometimes out of nowhere and just leave. i know it sounds rude even if it's not my intention.#berserk can be so relatable. it's crazy!!#ok enough kain. you shouldn't be sharing this much.
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okay listen. I get the urge to talk about my favorite life series ship like it's Canon in every season...BUT. THAT HAS NEVER ONCE BEEN THE CASE.
Yes, Jimmy would be upset if Tango canaried (technical scientific term for that). Everyone would be- even I would be, and I've never watched a single one of his videos. Canarying sucks, and it hurts. Of course I would be upset. THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT I THINK JIMMY WOULD BREAK DOWN SOBBING FROM A CHARACTER STAND POINT. They have had only like... THREE on screen interactions. One is Tango murdering a man infront of Jimmy and another is Tango cheerfully burning down something one of Jimmy's teammates worked very hard on. WildLifeChara!Jimmy has more reason to hate or be afraid of WildLifeChara!Tango than to be madly in love with him.
I promise you, if Tango had offered Jimmy a life instead of Ren, people wouldn't shut up about for MONTHS. But, because it's Ren, somehow the interaction isn't NEARLY as homoerotic??? I understand having NOTP's, but the Jimmy/Ren ship doesn't even show up ONCE on ao3. Zero fics. ZE-RO. There's no reason to hate something that doesn't even exist.
This same concept applies for Flower Husbands as well- not just in Wild Life, and Secret Life and Limited Life and Last Life and Real Life though- in Empires.
I have no clue about Empires Season 1, but they barely interacted in Empires Season 2- and yet the amount of ship art I sift through on a weekly basis for my side blog is actually insane. Yeah, the few interactions WERE important, but I think Scott only flirted (in video) with Jimmy maaybbeeee three times. I have no idea what the count of that for streaming is, but I swear it is not enough to keep that number so inflated.
Although, honestly, this problem might just be affecting me because of my personal view on shipping- if it's in a context where it doesn't make sense for the characters to be romantically engaged, I won't read it or write it.
For example, my beloved Solidwood! I mostly get their vibes or read their fics from the following series: Evo, Last Life, New Life, Empires2, Secret Life. That's because those settings make sense! They are active, they are engaged, they have near constant interactions or very close base locations. It makes SENSE for them to be shipped. However, if you showed me art or fic of them in, say, Limited Life, I'd furrow my brow and tilt my head and say "no, that doesn't do anything for me." BECAUSE THEY HAVE ZERO REASON TO BE INVESTED ROMANTICALLY IN ONE ANOTHER THERE, AS A STAND ALONE SETTING.
Most of the major Jimmy ships, though, don't follow this rule. I can understand loving a ship so much you want to see it everywhere- but, I promise you, stepping back and looking at which characters actually have chemistry regarding the new setting and social system will do wonders... you won't have to think of new Au's to insert your favorite ship into a new setting... all ships will be your favorite ship (unless they give you the ick). Join the multishiper hivemind /j
No but honestly it's gotten to the point where I will like or dislike a creator/character of theirs by what ship is their most popular given the context of the setting. Like, Tango in Double Life? Awww the sweetie!! I love him :) and then Tango in Empires2 sets off alarm bells in my brain screaming at me. He is NOT meant to be here bringing that ship here, this is NOT its territory. Same problem for Scott in nearly damn near every SMP both Jimmy and him are in... except Wild Life because he's actually been pretty nice and not condescending or forcing on Jimmy. I guess also power imbalances in how fans view them is a major no-go for me...
Idk if you read this whole thing thanks I guess... for anymore needed context I am a Jimmy rarepair obsessed multishiper.
TLDR; Lots of popular ships are inserted into settings without a thought for what that would mean for the setting and any changes in the established social connections, which gives OP the ick. I'm also not policing ships I'm just begging people to please either understand more ships using in setting context or list their AU details in the summaries of the fics. This goes hand in hand with misinterpreting characters in writing also... the more ships you like the more characters you will get to get good at writing!!!!
#Realized why the reason some creators leave a bad taste in my mouth is because their main ship's fanbase#Shoves that ship into everything. Even places it shouldn't be. For example a crazy amount of the Jimmy empires fics#Are au's of Esmp1 where Tango rules a kingdom in the Nether. Yeah its a fun idea but if it dominates HALF of the tags its...#It's just kinda spam at that point. He's not even in that smp and I'll bet Tango is tagged more than one of the Canon emperors#And the nearly the other half of Jimmy Empires fics are god damn FLOWER HUSBANDS. YOU CANT ESCAPE THEM#And also Scott even shoves the ship on Jimmy. Did you not SEE THEIR INTERACTION IN REAL LIFE???#JUST REALIZES THATS WHY I WAS ABLE TO READ A FLOWER HUSBANDS FIC ONCE.BEVAUSE THE WRITER MADE THEM SEEM LIKE EQUALS#fandom discourse#fandom discussion#shipping discourse#shipping discussion#creacheurspeacher#ship and let ship#life series#life smp#trafficblr#solidaritygaming#jimmy solidarity#traffic smp#scott smajor#smajor1995#tangotek#wildlife smp#trafficshipping#long post#rant post#shipping rant#flower husbands#the ranchers#solidwood
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Thinking about a yandere with a depressed darling.
A yandere who's patient with you no matter how bad it gets. On easier days, when it's just the lingering inexplicable sadness that has you staring off into space every now and then between conversations, he's quick to jump to another topic to distract your mind. When he sees your gaze lower and your brows pinch in thought, he makes your favorite meal under the guise of having been craving it himself. When you're both sitting on the couch and he sees your leg bounce, your fingers trembling against your thighs - he feigns tiredness and leans against you to 'absentmindedly' take your hand in his.
A yandere that on harder days, ones where you can't even muster up the energy to get up from your shared bed, stays there with you for hours on end. Arms wrapped around your waist and his face buried in your hair. If you're lying down, he'll let you rest against his chest and listen to the sound of his heartbeat - the soft sound lulling you into a state of calm. If you're sitting up, he'll keep his arms around you and gently rock the both of you back and forth, keeping his weight pressed against you to keep you grounded. You enjoy silence? No problem, he finds the quiet peaceful too. You need background noise to distract yourself from your thoughts? He's going on and on about anything and everything he can think of.
He tries his best to only leave your side for absolute necessities at the start of these periods. He knows that taking care of you when you're down makes you feel guilty, so he never makes it seem like he's only doing something just for you (even if he knows he is).
He's feeling pretty hungry. No worries though, he'll just go ahead and order some food from that restaurant you both (read: you) like. No, you don't have to get up from the bed to get it from the door, he needed to use the bathroom anyway so he'll just grab it on his way back!
(He was never really hungry. Hell, he could survive off of the smell of you alone if he could. But he'd be damned if you didn't get at least one full meal in today.)
A yandere that never judges you for your lack of motivation to take care of yourself sometimes. You don't feel like you can take a shower today? That's perfectly fine, a missed shower or two never hurt anyone! You felt too drained to brush your teeth before you went to sleep? That's alright, he's feeling pretty tired too so you're both in the same boat! Even if you're someone who prefers to eat in bed because you don't have the energy to eat at the dining table, he doesn't mind one bit. Crumbs aren't an issue for him, and having to wash the sheets is only a small sacrifice to make sure you're comfortable. Hell, if you didn't feel so iffy about it he'd even feed you if you asked.
A yandere that never in his wildest dreams would ever shame you for something you can't control. But, he does care about your health, of course, so he wouldn't allow you to skip too many days of hygiene without stepping in. One of his favorite things to do with you is shared self-care. If you don't take a shower that day, you can both just take one together the following day. He takes great care in washing you off, lathering your hair in your favorite scented shampoo and conditioner before turning around and letting you do the same to him. If you don't feel like brushing your teeth or washing your face that night, that's perfectly fine, he's already setting up a playlist for you two to dance to in front of the mirror when you both get it done tomorrow instead.
A yandere that, although he makes sure you're comfortable during your more difficult days, still wants to help you gradually recover. If your lack of motivation and tiredness spans over a few days or more, he'll slowly but surely coax you out of bed. First it starts out small, like using the restroom or grabbing something from the other side of the room. And then it moves on to leaving the room entirely, getting you to stay outside for longer and longer intervals until the emptiness is finally pushed to the back of your mind once again - dormant until the next time it rears its ugly head. But that's okay. Progress is slow, and it's far from perfect. And he'll tell you just how proud he is that you've taken a step further, no matter how small it may seem.
A yandere that doesn't consider you a burden for the way you feel. Who doesn't ask what caused your mood, even if the shift was sudden. Who doesn't judge you when you fall back into old habits (now, with larger intervals in between) - your hair getting tangled, your skin oily and your clothes stained. Because no matter what he'll be there with you every step of the way, and he'll happily help you up again and again.
#I know this isn't as dark as I could've made it but I wrote like half of it during one of my Bad Times and all I really wanted was comfort#so this is VERY self indulgent I'll admit it#i want to imagine a man who doesn't care if i skip showering for a day or two#or eat snacks in bed because it's comfortable#crazy that my first post here is an indulgent vent (kind of??) post#I was originally gonna make it where the yandere feeds into the depression to keep you into bed#so you never feel motivated to leave and stay there with him instead#but next time...#x male reader#x gn reader#x reader#yandere x reader#yandere x male reader#yandere x gn reader#fluff#I think???#unedited#so sorry if this has errors i haven't slept at all this is so embarrassing
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/84a2513b31bf8e12159dd7fc8960def6/4cc2806878158fa3-47/s540x810/152a7c599664f58c70f22d98b7a5c6998131f0f0.jpg)
Yuma Month: Day 25: Broken
Night terrors, burning body temperature, delirious hallucinations, and glassy faded vision…
Helpless and afraid, he calls out for his caretaker…but he’s not there…
He’s all alone now…with no one to help…
Completely broken.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/3e5fe526849dec25455c0565fc2f8b1a/4cc2806878158fa3-2a/s540x810/354b0bd75114c05ea472ad026ccefceaf669d2b3.jpg)
#Yuma Month 2024#I put a preview just as a warning of what you'll get into#whumpcode#rain code#master detective archives: rain code#yuma kokohead#illness whump#fever whump#pixeldoodles#my art#the only way I know how to truly break a character#this is post game yuma who has fallen ill on one of his cases#pushing himself too hard despite his failing health#now he’s worse and while his fever rises after a nightmare#he suffers from ragged breathing hallucinations and delirium#rendering him back to his amnesia personality#scared helpless and wanting support#he briefly remembers his caretaker from the NDA#he calls his name but there’s no answer#its dark and scary and he doesn't know where he is#he wants someone anyone to be with him#but he’s all alone now…and very ill with no one to aid him#this is what can happen when you fly solo yuma ;-;#this might be the worst I’ve ever done to him... ^^;#is there a good ending here? I'll leave that to your head.#I think I got carpel tunnel from drawing this... ORZ#karma ig 😅 anyway tomorrow's will be non whump#i just went a little crazy w this one... XD#art is a mess but at least it looks ragged & dark as I intended it to#definitley more detailed than the others tho lol
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I'm kind of swamped BUT I can't get the idea of a WN commentfic party out of my head.
You know, people leave anon (or not) prompts and then people write in anon (or not) fills respecting the comment section character limitation, from day so-and-so to day so-and-so? If you follow the link you'll see LJ had a limit of 4300 characters but I'd be hosting on DW and their comment total character limit is 16000. Wordier people rejoice.
You wouldn't need an account -- although I heartily encourage you to have one even if just to track the thing and get notified of new comments (also because DW is just cool).
Thoughts? Or is everyone swamped as well and not in the mood for leaving prompts and writing short little fics?
#not putting this in the main tag because part of me is like “why am i going through this trouble?”#i wouldn't limit pairings. of course the tyrant in me would like to do it LOL but if i do that there's likely no chance of this working#and besides this WOULD need buy-in from people. it's not fun if people leave ten prompts but no fills#which is why i'm here asking before going crazy thinking about it#(which is also why i have no clue of what you think if you just leave a like here. does this seem like fun to you? if so TELL ME!)#fine i'll put it in the fucking tag#warrior nun
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At this point I don't think Teruki's parents are exceptionally horrible individuals (long-term psychological consequences still happen in cases in which the abuse isn't considered particularly severe + everyone is capable of harm, even "good" people), but they weren't the best, without a doubt.
Okay, they got too busy with their jobs and had to move overseas to progress on their career. External circunstances. Things that happen. They left their son behind, but that could always be justified by hectic schedules of ever-moving businesspeople. How else could he have a stable routine to focus on his future? They're just busy. Teruki hasn't seen them in long but that's not their fault, right?
They cared for Teruki, didn't they? His parents made sure that there was someone home to watch him whenever they were far away. It was inevitable that there would be times he would be with himself, though. But that's not bad! It only became a problem once those strange espers tried to take hold of him on the street. And even then, they were so weak he could barely give them the title of a psychic. It wasn't an issue that it happened more and more and there was no one to intervene. Or that Teruki had to torture descriptions of "Claw organization" and "brainwashed soldiers" out of these grownups to know what they wanted with him. His parents couldn't know. Why should they know? Better put: what could they do?
What could a normal person do against someone with psychic powers?
It was Teruki's choice to live by himself. He could manage it all. Contrary to the other kids, he was an independent and responsible young man who could be trusted with a house and money. Such a great boy. His parents were so proud to have someone as competent as him as a son, one which wouldn't mean hard work for them. One who always had the best grades and was the soccer team's best player and was the best student on the town's best middle school.
Of course they would suddenly allow Teruki to live on his own. Any parent with a child like him would, wouldn't they? Anyone on their right mind and who knew the slightlest about him would be sure he could do it.
And even if this "Claw" organization scared him a bit and he felt a bit lonely at times, it wasn't an issue. Issue would mean it was an obstacle - which it wasn't, as Teruki did perfectly on his own. His parents believed on so. That's why he had his own apartment at 12 on the first place. Teruki was so wonderful at this. It wasn't horrible if they didn't answer his calls, because they were so busy and he wasn't a little kid who depends on his mommy. None of this was their fault. He shouldn't bother them or himself over this.
Because they cared, right? On the end, it was only a pile of tragic circunstances and coincidences no normal person could act against. It was part of life as someone special like him. He couldn't expect that his parents could change any of this, and this made his loneliness the best possible choice. It was obvious that they would support such a decision.
What would a normal person do against someone with psychic powers?
#this was supposed to be a short description of how I imagine the Hanazawas but I got carried away with the prose#I suppose I'll leave some of the original idea here on the tags#for some reason Teruki's parents seem to be the type of absent parents who do care about their children#yet they don't have the slightlest ability to provide a happy and healthy life besides the generic ideal of a perfect kid#a kid who has a nice home and money to have fun and is physically healthy and has good grades#and their son is so special. of course they would brag about him at any opportunity to do so because it shows how they're good parents#yet they don't put any extra effort on caring for their kid besides this “minimum”. why would they? isn't he happy enough?#they gave such a damn perfect life for him! look how great he is doing by himself! look how he is an amazing kid!#and they say it like an irritatingly oblivious owner talks about their pet dog who has clear behavior and health issues#and their lack of emotional effort and actual care for teruki's wellbeing is so morbidly comical it warps into not being even funny#its just painful and absurd and they don't have an idea on how their choices are absolutely crazy bad#because there is no way you could be implying they're bad parents. they love teruki so much#mp100#mob psycho 100#teruki hanazawa#lalá rambling...
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I wanna know ur Fontaine msq criticisms 👁️👁️👂I’m all ears
I'm not sure if you wanted me to talk about this secretly or publicly but! Here I go!
The TLDR: Fontaine MSQ aestheticised prison, poverty, child abuse, the justice system/court and didn't properly address any of it.
More:
Focalors/Furina has way too much of a sympathetic angle for a dictator who's lets people drown with her inaction.
Neuvillette feels Bad for sentencing some people to death/prison, but that's it. He's one of the most powerful people in Fontaine. If he felt like there are systemic injustices, I.E sending an abused Child to prison, he should be the first person to DO something about it, not just cry and be sad so the audience can be like aw, that's complex character writing isn't it? No it's not! And guilt doesn't absolve you!!!!!!! (These are stuff we deal with in OTCOJ read my fic now /j)
Meropide has children in it, both Sentenced there (Wriothesley) and BORN THERE (Lanoire), and this is just a quirk of the place. Not only that, Meropide accepts prisoners of all genders and crimes. There are abusers and abuse victims in one place. Do you know how bad that is? How much potential for crimes to happen in a place like that— oh wait, Meropide isn't under Fontaine's jurisdiction. If you are assaulted as an inmate it literally means nothing to the court.
Wriothesley had no qualifications when he took over. Depending on how long he lived on the streets, how old he was when he killed his parents, how old he was when he was first taken in by the orphanage, etc, the man might never have more than 4–5 years of formal education. Sigewinne probably had to teach him how to write reports. And do Meropide's spreadsheets. Edit because I forgot to elaborate on this one: This isn't a point brought up anywhere, which is bad, because when poverty and incarceration robs you of a proper education (and the rights to vote in many places too, too, by the way), it reduces your prospects for jobs, reduces many people's ability to get a home etc etc. Wriothesley was just, narratively, Given his position.
Meropide is an industrialized prison, and they portray this as a good thing. Prisoners are paid in coupons for their labour, and this is also portrayed as a good thing.
The One-Meal-A-Day reform was something Paimon gushed about being so great of a perk, that people might want to go to jail for food (could be interesting and reflective of systemic poverty if MHY had brains, but they don't, so I was just Pissed because essentially all Paimon wanted to say was "Prison isn't so bad, but still don't go to prison guys! Prison labour is really hard!"). By the way, in most real-world prisons they are obligated to feed you three meals a day. Because that's how much food a human needs. MHY went with one meal just so they can say "if you want to eat more, you have to work." And then the welfare meal is a goddamn gacha. So imagine you're a starving child who's too weak to work in the fucking robot assembly line, and you wander up for your first meal in 24 hours, only to luck in with a shit one. I'd kill myself.
They wrote Wriothesley, who's a victim of the system, into a guy who's say shit like "I'm the Duke I can do whatever I want" for a cool moment where he choke-slams an inmate (I know he was a bad guy. But also, in copaganda when cops are violent/disregarding protocols, they are always only portrayed to do that against bad guys, so what does our critical thinking tells us about this one?) They wrote Wriothesley, who was an inmate of a prison so bad, so notorious that it is the literal boogeyman of Fontaine, that has a legal (???) fighting pit, with an administrator who abuses his position to be unreasonable, to willingly stay in the place and become an Administrator who would choke-slam an inmate while saying a cool line about how he has the power to do whatever he wants. They wrote him, the guy who had to be fed on the streets by melusines, to think one-meal-a-day was a good enough reform (while he spends god-knows how much on his boat). This wasn't a victim-turns-into-abuser narrative either, they want all this to be seen as positive character growth.
And then, the final kicker is, they gloss over his entire abuse. You can only read about these shit in his profile, which most people don't because they don't Have Him or doesn't care to unlock it/read it online, and they jammed his entire backstory into a flaccid info-dump at the end of his character story quest. This man isn't Allowed to feel abused and neglected and show any reaction to it within the narrative of Fontaine itself, because if they actually Gave Weight to what happened to him, they'd have to confront THE FUCKING JUSTICE SYSTEM they had NO PLANS on criticising. I don't think they ever explicitly said the fucking Crime-Theatre nonsense was Bad either.
I could go on, but this is already so long. But yeah, I hope this gave you an idea.
#and then. and im putting my most controversial opinion in the tags bc im scared lmao. but like... then... you have the fans..... doing......#the same fucking thing.#the amount of times I have seen Wriothesley used as just a side prop for Neuvillette to feel bad about shit. While Wriothesley is just.....#portrayed as having the inner peace and acceptance of a fucking monk. I was shocked when I read some fics I swear#they really said this man has no trauma at all! the stuff in his past? he's over it!#i hate that passivity when writing victims. like ok if One is written like that#sure. but MHY write all their victims like this#I mean look at fucking Lanoire#and Neuvillette sentenced him to prison after he killed his parents who were never confronted by the law. That's canon.#that's more canon than WRLT itself.#why weren't they confronted? did wriothesley try to talk to someone about it? why did he feel like killing them is his only option ?????#at least have there be some sort of conflict and friction there. How does Wriothesley feel about the court and Neuvillette when#this is the literal system that allowed all that shit to happen to him in the first place???#are you Sure he won't be at least a little wary? the fact that some people think he's Grateful to Neuvillette or even idolises him is crazy#because the man literally subjected him to prison. and if you want to portray his prison life as easy breezy and trauma free#you undermine his entire shitty little 'prison reform' narrative#and if you think he'd be completely 100% accepting of the justice system. Then why the fuck would he kill his parents himself#don't you see that the whole 'I'll accept whatever sentence in order to kill my parents' thing in itself is an act of defying the system#and I Hate#this idea. about being some of the most powerful men in the nation. and yet they can't fucking TRY to set up a better system or smth#i can't believe I read a fic where leaving starving street kids croissants is the most they (the characters and the writer) want to do#like. what the fuck. the whole point of that scene is just to make neuvillette feel bad and be like aw......... poor people exist.... OK???#this is literally how MHY would portray him though.... tbf..... This is what ppl would argue as 'in character'#I just think the character they're in is bad.#I will say I'm giving the fic a lot of grief. there's more to the scene than that. and. ultimately.....#fanfic is (saying this through gritted teeth) ........ recreational....................and free........... in the end.................#i dont think this is reflective of the writer. I do think it is reflective of the way the canon material (genshin impact)#presents in the audience who consumes it. most fans only want these guys to fuck anyway. not think about systemic injustices#canon doesn't make it about the systemic injustices either so why should we. the aesthetic of slums and prisons are just there for fun guys#IM JUST CRAZY OK. I SHOULDNT EVEN BE HERE THIS IS NOT FOR ME . I DONT CARE THAT MUCH FOR PEOPLE FUCKING AND I CARE TOO MUCH
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honestly I totally understand now how men grow up to be total trashbags
#my brother is going to fit right in lmao#he didn't do two important chores i told him to do today and instead of apologizing for it or even saying that#okay I'll do it tomorrow he's getting irritated by me he's like why are you whining what's done is done let's end this topic#reminded me right of the shitty guys i met on bumble lol#he has the audacity to say that do you like creating problems for yourself and taking stress now that dad isn't here like just#enjoy the freedom and im like um excuse me?? it might be freedom for you but it's not for me because im doing all the housework#and he was just like yeah yeah and rolled his eyes#i give up on him honestly go and continue the cycle be even worse of a man than our dad and his dad and the whole bloodline#die and rot in hell see if i care#guys get so good at this so early on calling women emotional and crazy when literally they're the reason#and being the most ungrateful disgusting ppl on the planet like he really thinks clothes are being magically washed and trash is#being taken out magically and groceries appear in the fridge magically and dinner is made magically#freeloading piece of shit#i hope a thousand women leave him and maybe then he'll finally realise what a yucky man he is#till then im not going to care anymore im not going to raise my parents third child that they're too tired and negligent to raise#my sister is definitely not denying herself any enjoyment she doesn't even feel guilty for how he is so why should i
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They killed his sheep. It was his favorite sheep, bro :(
#I'm listening to epic the musical in full for the first time#I've been listening to select songs until now#But holy crap I've been missing out#I have some problems with it#Mostly I feel like characters don't hit how they should#Like Athena comes in and then leaves in her very next song#It's played as this emotional moment but it's like#What lmao#We got one song of her and ody's relationship#And then she leaves#But God one thing I'll say is the motifs and the general voice acting really comes and punches you#Like when the second in command is like 'tell me you didn't sacrife six men' his VOICE#When odysseus is like 'I know' to 'but we'll die"#Like??? The voice acting goes CRAZY
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Henford Hall -December, 18:39PM
#sims 4#ts4#ts4 build#so im kinda back again#this year has been crazy#i move to Paris in september 2022 to study there two semesters#then i came back to spain and move to a new city#well is not really new since its my hometown but i hadn't live there since 2015 and I missed it so much#and between work uni and RL things I didn't have much time to play sims#so here I am again but you know how inconsisten is this blog so dosen't expect regular posts lol#probably i will not have time to play in the future but who cares#now about sims#i've been trying to make some trees DR with new meshes but they refuse to show the correct textures in autumn winter and spring#I suspect it has to be something related to vertex paint or any information attached to the leaves mesh that i'm not getting in s4s#i'll be posting that later to see if someone can give some advice#also had a problem with a building deco for Hendford wich I converted from Cities Skylines#i'm really frustrated with s4s and me lately#well i think its enough for today#come back for more ted talks
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#just a little mental health check in mostly for myself just to write it down#I'm in a weird place#in some regards I've been doing really well lately#I've been more social which always does wonders for my mental health#on the other hand a couple weeks ago I was home alone for a couple days and I was so stir crazy I almost couldn't handle it#I've actually been happy with my body for the last few months and I haven't had any anxiety about food nor have I attempted any restrictions#that's been a big bonus#I'm having a lot of trouble with decisions lately. I'm second guessing everything to a stressing degree#I feel like a bad person for reasons I can't totally pinpoint. like I think I'm manipulating everyone but to what end I can't tell#and there's a part of me that knows this is irrational but I can't shake it#it's so weird being aware that I'm doing so well in many regards#but I'm also able to feel myself slipping into types of paranoia that I know I'm suseptible to#today's been better but for the last few days my heart rate has been noticeably high (which says a lot because it is generally high)#it's caused unease#I don't know if I really have a point to typing any of this out#I'm feeling fine overall. I'm happy with my life right now. I have plenty of things to look forward to in the near and further future#I can just tell something is a little off and I think it might be beneficial to my future self to write this out for sake of timeline#I really need to start tracking my period because it totally might be that. or you know. I have OCD and anxiety is just a part of my life#who knows. it could be a mix or nothing or everything#I don't think anyone's reading this whole thing lol but if anyone does I do want to leave the reassurance that I'm fine and I'll be fine#like I said. just keeping an eye on myself.#oh I thought of another positive thing! I've been way less freaked out about chemicals lately! that's a nice note to end this on!#ashley rambles
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I might have to make a masterlist hmm I am writing more and more and I am planing a full blown satoru fic which I'm gonna start working on today and publish after theory exams soooo late jan ig
can someone help me with the masterlist? I just need like some guidance
#helpppp#I was like I'm gonna be a reblogging blog hmmm#and here I am#stoner suguru got me so many new followers helloooooo hope I don't disappoint you I am not a writer#most writing I have done is on papers for uni which is all science gibberish or my journal which is crazy guy talk#I want to write more so I'll try ^^#getting over 100 notes in 3 days is crazy to me#my background is not in literature or writing TT o TT but I do get told often my writing is striking by profs#for better or worse most profs and drs I work with or study under are chill and like it but then some profs are like no stick to the patter#science especially biological fields can be very constricting#and unfortunately I am in a biological science field#I am gonna make a pinned too#:0 feels so professional somehow omg this is like leaving a kid in a officie
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Sometimes I think of Amy Pond, who grew up being called mad by those who wielded the word as a tool of exclusion and shame —
Amy Pond, who though forced into the hands of four psychiatrists, still clung to that which they called madness until those systems which elevate psychosocial conformity above humanity stripped it from her —
Amy Pond, whose imaginary friend reappeared for a single hour after twelve years and reignited that faith before disappearing for two more years —
Amy Pond, who spent those those two years under the same implicit threat ingrained in her through psychiatric violence, and thus began to believe the man who stopped the invasion was “just a madman with a box,” only for him to agree, and to also call her “mad, impossible Amy Pond,” reframing madness as non-negative for the first time in her life —
Amy Pond, who ignored the disembodied voice of her imaginary friend even as she ran away with him for real, who still lived each day with the traumatic internalization of deviancy dictated upon her by the psychiatric-industrial complex that shaped her from childhood —
Amy Pond, who wouldn't acknowledge the Doctor's voice, such that it took an Angel in her eye that was literally killing her to ensure she couldn't reality check herself —
Amy Pond, who stood before a room which muttered about “the psychiatrists we brought her to,” and though afraid, escaped their rigid parameters of acceptable existence.
#I like seeing it as indicating she began hearing his voice when he was gone for all those years! why else wouldn't she say anything?#actually psychotic Amy agenda#Amy Pond#eleventh doctor#reclaimed language#oh look its another antipsychiatry themed doctor who post#sumn abt in Fairies At The Bottom Of The Garden audio AND Imaginary Enemies comic we see Amelia bein called slurs against psychotic people#(shes called psycho in both)#like!!! and SO MUCH OF AMYS STORY is about her claiming her agency in ways that previous companions weren't allowed to-#companions whose status as a Wife was a signifier of an to end of their value individually- 'this is no place for a married woman' etc#in some cases Wife-ness forced upon them *as* a denial of agency 'I spent all that time trying to find you I'm not going back now!' etc#whereas Amys story deconstructs that; Amys “Choice” is an illusion- Amy being a Wife doesn't demote her agency as an companion#anyways I love that aspect of reclaimed agency for Amy but ALSO#“madness” as an expression of agency against systems of oppression is SO relevant. the mind defends itself and the alternative isnt better#the oppressive system in this case being ableist structures and the psychiatric system ITSELF which is a whole other layer#the moral being that even if the Doctor WAS a delusion? he'd still be a needed coping mechanism for a child who says “ppl always leave”#and instead of examining her feelings of abandonment they insist 'aLiENs DoNt ExIsT' as seen in the 'sTaRs DoNt ExIsT' psychiatrist in TBB#they don't care that she's in PAIN- why would they?- they just care that she's 'abnormal' and therefore not deserving of humanity#(eleventh) doctor is neurodivergent tag#I mean technically this is about Amy but I once (twice) used that tag on the post about the Master. its the spirit of it!#and Amy Pond + her Raggedy Doctor as “mad” people is very *chefs kiss*#((you know what im putting the tag on my last Amy post :D ))#Mels experienced this very differently and I'll make a post about her at some point- I just wanna make sure my points are got across better#sumn abt Amelia's “crazy” was Mels' “delinquency.” Amy treated as if she doesn't know her own life while Mels treated as threatening#sumn abt adultification of Black girls while Amy is infantilized#Amy Pond who could rewrite reality in a reborn universe because she grew up with a Crack in her wall that no one believed was special —#ableism#saneism#unreality#because I mean Amy's stand against psychiatric dehumanization was to REWRITE THE UNIVERSE with her Crack powers
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