#'i think so highly of you' FUCKING WHEN?? WHEN HAVE YOU EVER SHOWN THAT YOU THINK HIGHLY OF HIM?!

[clovertheloser]

Me: ok even though I really don't want to, I should probably pirate and watch the new episode so I know how it can factor into hell of a time

(22 minutes later)

Me:....I want to slam my head against the wall.

[elliewithcellie]

Girl, Interrupted

summary: Eddie crashes by your home when you least expected, but everything happens for a reason, right?

wc: 1.8k

cw: PURE SMUT (MDNI 18+), basically no plot, friends to fwb?, oral (f receiving), Eddie is a tease, fairly bold reader lol, fingering, talk of p in v sex, hair pulling, orgasms idk let me know what else

a/n: my bestie bought me slutty pajamas for my birthday, and since I'm a hypothetical whore, this has been on my mind nonstop. Finally took a break from my spn series to write this down. This is the filthiest thing I've written to date but definitely short and sweet

Eddie’s jaw fell slack as the door opened before him. He knew he shouldn’t have shown up to your place uninvited. Sure, you were his best friend, and of course, you had said he could come over whenever, but that never truly meant unannounced. He was already kicking himself for showing up as late as he did when you opened the door.

Your oh so short pajama shorts were the first thing that caught his eye, how your thighs spilled out beneath them, the cotton begging for relief. His eyes trailed higher to your tank top one size too small. The hem rested just above your midriff, the outline of your hips more prominent than he had ever seen. Your face was flush, pinks and reds lining your cheeks. He fought the urge to pinch himself, scared that he was dreaming, scared that he’d wake up to the absence of you and very real feelings emerging.

“Eddie? What are you doing here?” you asked, your arms crossing over your chest. “I thought you had a date.”

Date, what date? Eddie’s mind was going numb. His brain was flatlining at the mere sight of you, more exposed to him than he’d ever seen you. Fight or flight kicked in, debating on whether to say something or just turn around and leave. He was almost sure he was not supposed to see you in this state.

“I—uhh—it didn’t go well, so I cut it short. But I know you love the place, so I figured I’d bring over the leftovers.”

“Oh, sweet. Thank you.”

Eddie hesitated, scared to ask, but his interest piqued. “Is someone—you’re alone right now, right?”

Your eyebrows pinched together. You exhaled a dry laugh. “Please, I’m always alone. Come in. Tell me about your date.”

You ushered Eddie inside and settled into your couch. You pulled a blanket over you, and Eddie released a sigh. He couldn’t believe the hold you suddenly had on him. It was like he was in high school again, ready to combust at the sight of a shoulder. At least with your legs covered, he was less inclined to think about spreading them.

“Was it really that bad?” you asked, drawing Eddie from his thoughts.

“She was just so boring,” Eddie complained. “Like, there’s nothing wrong with her, but it was like we were from different planets! She didn’t know Metallica! How am I supposed to bond with someone when there’s nothing to relate to?”

“Did you think of showing her?”

“Showing her what?”

“Metallica!” you laughed. “Wouldn’t that be kind of romantic, you know, to introduce that to her? Maybe tell her you’re in a band? It’d be like showing her a whole new world. And maybe you’d get a groupie out of it.”

Eddie swatted at the air. “It’s not worth it. We were both bored. And it was clear she wasn’t looking to rock with a guitarist.”

“Oh, I highly doubt that.”

“You didn’t meet her. She’s pristine, a Chrissy Cunningham type. Meant to be with a lawyer or some shit.”

You leaned in closer to Eddie, your blanket sliding down your thighs. “Those are the girls who fantasize about guys like you the most. Those girls on the straight and narrow, the ones who seemed destined to be sweet stay-at-home moms or perfect career women, those are the ones who dream of just one night doing something they never thought they could. Something so wild that when they’re taking their kids to soccer practice, or their ‘perfect husband’ is asleep on the recliner while they're doing the dishes, they can think back to that wild night when they fucked a rockstar.”

Eddie’s lip trembled as chills coursed through his body. You leaned back against the couch and shrugged like what you said was nothing. You had to be on something, he decided. Never had you been so frank when the topic of sex came up. Your face was still flushed with color, and you couldn’t seem to find a comfortable position on the couch, shifting yourself from one side to the other to no specific rhythm. Heat radiated off of you, though you weren’t known to be the furnace between the two of you. Something struck Eddie as so foreign but so familiar as he took you in.

“Would you fuck a rockstar?” Eddie found himself saying.

Heat rose to your cheeks. “Do I seem like one of those straight-and-narrow girls to you?”

“That’s not what I asked,” Eddie said, a newfound confidence overtaking him. “You came up with that way too fast to act like you don’t think of it, too. So, would you fuck a rockstar?”

You bit your lip and shifted in your seat. You huffed into the couch. “Wouldn’t anyone?”

“Why so shy all of a sudden?” Eddie asked, egging you on. “You’ve been squirming since I got here, sweetheart. Is something on your mind?”

Your eyes trailed from his eyes to his lips, then back to his eyes. “Tonight is not the night to ask me that.”

“Why is that?” Eddie chuckled. “Were you in the middle of something? Was something left unfinished when I so rudely interrupted? And now all you can think about is the ache between your legs?”

You shuddered at his words. “Eddie,” you said, your voice shaking.

“I could help you.” Eddie leaned closer, his words almost a whisper. “Because I may not be a rockstar, but I’m sure I could give you the night of your life.”

Your breath hitched in your throat. “Don’t tease me. It’s not funny.”

“No one’s laughing.” Eddie pulled the blanket back, his hands resting on your thighs. Your legs slightly opened on instinct. “What kind of friend would I be, huh? If I didn’t at least offer?”

Eddie didn’t know where this bravado came from, but he didn’t care. All he knew was the longer you looked at him like that, the harder he got.

You grabbed him by his shirt and forced his lips on yours. Nothing soft or sweet came from your lips. You were needy and desperate, clinging to him like he was the air in your lungs.

The urgency shocked Eddie, but he quickly found your rhythm. He smirked against your lips as he pulled his jacket off. His hands snaked from your thighs to your hips to your ass, lifting you onto his lap. You groaned into his mouth as he rolled you against him.

He was sure he was dreaming now. Only there did he ever picture you above him, grinding your hips into his. Only there did he imagine you moaning from his touch. But never were his dreams this vivid, this real, this fucking good.

He pulled you from him and pushed you back onto the couch. You whined at the loss of contact. He’d never seen your eyes so dark, so lustful, so hungry for him.

He slid down to the floor onto his knees and pulled you to the edge of the couch. “You still want my help, sweetheart?”

You nodded emphatically.

“I need to hear you, baby. Say it.”

“Please help me, Eddie. I need you. Please.”

“Atta girl.”

You lifted yourself up as Eddie pulled your shorts down your legs. Eddie’s cock jumped at the sight of you. He bit his lip to maintain what little composure he had left.

“Aww, your poor little pussy’s just as needy as you, isn’t she?” He spread your knees apart, the cold metal on his fingers sending chills up your spine. The throbbing between your legs only intensified, a small whimper escaping your lips.

Eddie couldn’t wait any longer. There was no time for teasing, no time to explore. You needed him, and he was going to deliver.

He dove into your aching pussy like a man starved. You jumped at the contact, your hands flying to his hair. His tongue worked overtime, kitten-licking your clit before diving in for more.

“You taste so good, sweetheart,” he said, smiling against you. You moaned in response, grabbing a fistful of his hair and pulling him closer.

Your sounds turned him on even more, searching for his own release as he rubbed himself against the couch. His mind was in a daze, in utter disbelief that anyone could look so perfect for him with your legs spread and your back arched. Your chest rose and fell to the rhythm of his tongue, and your lips formed a perfect ‘o’. Oh, how Eddie wanted to feel your lips around his cock. How you’d sink down on him, your perfect innocent mouth being completely sinful just for him.

He placed a finger at your entrance and pumped in and out, his thumb now circling your clit. Your head fell back. “God, yes, Eddie. Just like that.”

“I need you to do something for me, baby,” Eddie said as he added a second finger.

“Wha—what’s that?” you asked, breathless.

“I need you to tell me what you think of when you get off. Tell me what you were thinking of before I showed up at your door.”

“I—I oh god,” you shouted as Eddie’s lips found your clit. “I—I thought about you on your fucking date.”

“Oh fuck,” Eddie groaned into your pussy, the vibrations shooting up your spine.

“I pictured you fucking her from behind, her skirt hiked up to her hips, her panties to the side as you fucked her in front of the bathroom mirror.”

“Fucking C—Christ,” Eddie stuttered, his hips rutting into the couch faster. “Keep going.”

“Then it was me you were fucking. You grabbed me by the hair, so I could watch what you were doing to me,” you said, your voice shaking with every word. “Eddie, please. I’m close. Please.”

“Come on, baby. You can do it. Tell me what I was doing to you.” He was past dreaming at this point. He was sure this was heaven. Hearing your words had him reeling. He didn’t want to stop, didn't know how to stop. He just knew he needed to see you come.

Your lip trembled. “Your hands were all over me, playing with my tits, your lips on my neck, and—and your big cock pounding into me over and oh-ver and—and Fuck! Eddie, don’t stop! Please, please, please!”

Your orgasm crashed down on you, expletives and Eddie’s name on your lips. Eddie continued to pump his fingers in and out of you like a madman as he lapped up your cum.

“Oh god, oh fuck!” he moaned against you.

You pushed his head off of you and caught your breath. Eddie took a breath, too, leaning back against his heels. You pulled him back up to you and kissed him, tasting yourself on your lips.

“That… was so hot,” Eddie said, releasing a breath.

“Can it be my turn to help you?” you asked, looking up at him through your eyelashes.

Eddie’s cheeks rouged slightly, his eyes trailing to the growing wet spot on his jeans. “I had a turn already,” he said, guilt painting his words. He leaned in toward you, a devilish smirk joining his features. “But I’m not done with you. Not yet.”

[certifiedcodbabygirl]

I'm 100% a Gaz girl. No doubt. I absolutely love him and his character.

What I don't like is how people write him most of the time. Idk what it is about the COD fandom but most of the writers give him like no personality. They chalk it up to:

-He's sugary sweet

-He never argues

-He's never angry

-He eats pussy like a god (that one's true to be fair)

-And he's hella submissive

And don't get me wrong, a few of those can be alright, but that's all I really ever see. Not to say anyone owes us writing, these are just my opinions and observations. I love all my fellow writers.

I'm just saying that it's okay to write him as pissed off. It's okay to write him as sarcastic and a lil hotheaded. It's okay to write him as someone who can lead and get shit done. Because all of those things have been shown in his character! I know a lot of people can't afford the actual games, but I highly suggest you at least go watch gameplays. His character is so much more than him being sweet. He's a guy with layers. Just like Ghost. Just like Soap. And just like Price.

I've seen maybe 3 fics where he's shown canonically and I love seeing those. Like I said, write what you want to write, I just wanna share my opinion. I think if I've noticed it, others might have too. And don't get me wrong, I love seeing him as a sweet guy and levelheaded guy when needed, but he can also not be. Let him have layers like every person does. Let him have flaws.

Show what makes him tick. Show what makes him lose his cool. Show what makes him calm down. Show what it takes for him to maintain his cool. Show his "what the fuck is wrong with you" reactions.

We all know he eats pussy good tho. That I will never disagree with.

[moonlit-void-to-the-far-unknown]

The itch

An: so I’ve never written for TUA, I think, I haven’t written anything in like a long time cause my brain is made of worms most days, but the new season and mostly five in his new attitude? Personality? His almost soft tired of it all way, gives me the feelings. As a 28 year old women it’s odd that a 68 year old trapped in a 18 year old body works for me like it does but hey, I’ve liked weirder (cough I was in the Hamilton fandom cough) so enjoy this sort of bonding with Lila over the new mundane life and the exhausting reality of having to live it, because I love Lila and hate what they did to her and fives characters with the whole 7 year time line romance. Like why make her a mum of 3 and married to Fives brother just to ruin it like that. But anyway enjoy this weird fic.

Readers power: molecular manipulation, think piper from charmed, overhaul from my hero, uhhh it’s hard to explain but basically it means you can make things explode, freeze people and things by fucking with the molecular structure of said thing.

——————————————————————-

You wanted to scream, to smash things, to burn yours and fives apartment down, it had been six years of calm, six years of learning to enjoy ‘normal’. Six years of working at dead end jobs because you didn’t pass the god damn psych evaluation for the CIA, somehow you are far more ‘unhinged’ than your husband.

You and five spent 30 years together, a decade in an apocalyptic wasteland when you ended up teleported there by mistake, and then 20 years at the commission becoming trained and ruthless assassins. Now, now Five worked doing CIA investigations and you got stuck working at a grocery store gas station. It was calm, it was normal, it was absolute hell on earth and made your skin itch.

So sitting in the parking lot of the play place for your nieces 6th birthday, you didn’t know why you couldn’t make yourself leave your car, five was already here, he had texted you as much, everyone else minus Viktor who was in Canada, and Allison who hasn’t shown her face irl to any of her siblings in the 6 years, you just needed to get out of the car and walk in with the gift you signed from both you and five for Gracie. It was a set of toy weapons, knives like her dads old ones, and a few other random ‘play pretend’ things.

Closing your eyes you leaned your head back against the head rest, taking a deep breath. Almost hitting the gas when the passenger side door opened and slammed closed. Turning eyes wide you saw Lila, the exhausted mothers face blank staring forward

“I just needed a minute, just needed” you nodded

“Take all the minutes you need. I assume it’s like pulling teeth in there with Diego?” Lila nodded sighing loudly

“Fives the same way, just on other stuff, like deciding if he wants to go out to dinner or stay in and order pizza, or if he needs new underwear because the ones he has have so many holes in surprised they still count as underwear, or just simple things like the dishes, like how hard is it to wash a cup, it shouldn’t be as hard as it is, how hard is it to just tell me when you need a quiet night cause work was stressful, and you are exhausted from stupid people all day, i work retail, he acts like I don’t understand being tired of idiots…I just…” you paused looking back out the windshield

“It’s like your skin is on fire and nothing stops the itch of being a once highly skilled assassin who could fuck with peoples molecules and freeze them in time or make them explode?” You nodded looking at her

“I find myself flicking my hands out and remembering I can’t just blow up or freeze people anymore, it’s like an itch and anytime I explain it to five he just…”

“Doesn’t listen? Or doesn’t understand that you are used to how your life was and now that it’s different, it’s not bad but it’s eye burning mundane clock ticking by slower then ever reality?”

Nodding you sighed

“Diego, he wants to listen, he just, from what five always told me he had a hard time understanding others because his brain is just, frazzled and he feels inadequate, how they grew up I guess shaped them in every timeline. Five is just used to being alone he was alone for 30 years before we met, then I popped up and it’s just. I don’t think he gets that sometimes I just need him to..”

“Let you Help with the itching”

You nodded smiling at her

“He just, it’s been a lot, and we haven’t quite got the ‘normal life’ down just yet.” Lila nodded

“It’s not easy in normal marriage land either, 3 kids and a chunky husband who, doesn’t make it easier is….”

“Not helping the itching. Well how about me and you, when the itch gets too bad, we help each other? Maybe find a way to do something, go to a rage room? Do a fighting class something to feel the….rush? Of what we did before. Have Klaus or someone babysit the kids, be me and you and just….”

“Fighting each other like the before days?” You laughed nodding

“Yeah…I miss getting to kick your ass and having you kick mine…”

Lila laughed looking around

“We could start a fight club, you, me, Ben when he gets out of prison. Just….maybe we’ll get used to normal eventually….” You frowned nodding

“You know if you ever need anything, help with the kids, a friend to vent to when Diego is being Diego…I’m not to far from your guys place. I can always swing by, let the munchkin tornados beat up on auntie Y/N.” You smiled at her for all the mess you and her had been in against each other, she had become one of your closest friends and family members through it all.

Soon enough you finally made your way into the building, the screams of children everywhere, the smell of sugar and something faintly child everywhere. You spotted five by the ball pit, speaking with Ben, walking over you hugged five from behind sighing as you rested your forehead against his back

“Hello, love.” You squeezed him in response before looking up and over to Ben

“Ahh Benjamin, free from jail, good to see you didn’t die, love that you still look like you want to murder us all” Ben didn’t laugh, just glared at you before sighing

“Not in the snark mood got it.” You felt five squeeze your arm a bit pulling away from you, making you groan

Turning to fully look at you, he looked you over smiling softly

“How was work?” You looked at him blinking slowly before sighing and planting your forehead on his chest, groaning

“Ahh I see” his hand rubbed your back softly, his other lifting the beer to his lips.

“People are stupid. How hard is it to put a gas nozzle in a car….”

“Apparently impossible if what you tell me says anything” you looked at him nodding before turning to look around

“10 bucks says Diego forgets to put up the piñata like Lila asked him” five laughed slightly

“Nah 20 says Lila has a mental breakdown before cake is served” you looked over to where Lila stood with Gracie helping the young girl fix her party hat,

“Nah I think she has a breakdown after presents when she sees what we got Gracie” five laughed looking down at you, brushing the stray hair from your face, smiling at him you sighed softly again,

it seemed even if you wanted to rip your hair out from the new ‘normal’ reality you all had to live in, even if your skin itched from the need to return back to what life was before somehow, it was nice that you still had small moments, where normal wasn’t so bad, normal birthday parties for your nieces and nephews, seemingly normal holidays, and normal, non murder happy work. As much as you loathed admitting it, sometimes it was nice. Like now, now was nice.

[heathermason6060]

Daryl Dixon x f!Reader: Together Apart Ch.2

Warnings/Mentions: History of abuse, neglect, strong language, mentions of character death, alcohol and drug abuse, ptsd, shared trauma, reader is cold, angst, fluff, eventual smut

Summary: Reader gives friendships a try, and the first signs of Daryl changing start showing after unexpected tragedy.

Notes: I love writing Merle and early season Daryl, I hope they're in character!

"I'm ten seconds away from blowing his goddamn brains out."

"Not worth the wasted bullets." Daryl watched as Shane stalked back up towards the Greene house. You scoffed and rolled your eyes when you saw him stopping himself from slamming the door, at least needing to respect Hershel gave him some restraint from being a complete piece of shit. You weren't sure how long that would last though.

"Can't fucking stand these people Daryl. He looked like he wanted to kill me."

"Ya called 'em a homewrecker. The hell'd you expect?"

The days would go by without pause, no matter how you all screamed and cried for just one minute, one minute to get it together and breathe. Everything was constantly changing, and it ended up making you colder. 

The Greene farm was a nice place. You enjoyed the chores you took on there, you got to work with the horses, the cows, and the old barn cat. He'd end up passing away after a while, which would have really upset you if it hadn't been such a peaceful death, he just fell asleep with a stomach full of deer stew and never woke up. 

Andrea's strange half admiration and half disturbed likeness to you strengthened at the time on the farm, which you didn't know how to handle. You'd always wanted a girlfriend, ever since your first one in 6th grade ended your friendship. Your mother had shown up to pick you up from school, so high on Percocet she could barely keep her eyes open. She rear-ended the father of your friend, he got pissed, she spit in his face, and he called the police. ‘My daddy says I can't hang out with trailer trash like you anymore.’ She'd told you the next day. 

You secretly liked the way Andrea looked up to you. It was nice having a woman think highly of you, or any adult for that matter. She would often ask for shooting practice, and you even let her try out your bow a few times. 

She kind of fucked up your budding friendship when she shot Daryl. If you hadn't been so busy helping him get up into the house you would have shot her in her foot, and that's not an exaggeration. You wanted to stay up in that room with him until he fully healed, willing to sleep on the floor just so you'd be with him at all times, but the insecure fear of being seen as weak and clingy prevented you from doing so. You were out in the woods most of those days, hunting or killing any dead you ran across.

It was almost humiliating the way people would update you on Daryl’s condition. At first it was just Rick letting you know he’d be okay, but then it was Maggie and Hershel updating you on his eating habits, how much he ate, when he ate, he was only in bed for a couple of days, but it felt like weeks. Each time someone would tell you the miniscule details of his day you’d respond the same way, ‘Why’re you telling me? I’m not his mamma’. If you could look past the embarrassment of feeling like a worried child, you would be grateful. 

Andrea unknowingly made it up to you when you heard her bitching at Lori in the kitchen once, apparently having enough of her ‘a woman's place is in the kitchen making life worth living, leave the guns to the men' spiel. You complimented her afterwards. 

“Been real sick of that shit.” You had said as you loaded your Ruger pistol. “She's lucky it was you who said it, I think I would've punched that bitch in the face if she said that bullshit to me.”

Andrea was almost too stressed over the Beth situation to fully appreciate the gravity of your praise. She nodded as she looked over the field, eyes squinting against the bright afternoon sun, her arms crossed over her chest. “All my life I've heard that kind of thinking from men. It's different when it's a woman telling you that you're not worth the same as a man. Especially when said man lied about her husband being dead and got in her pants right after.” 

You smirked, stuffing your gun into the back of your jeans as you looked her over. “Wanna go kill some dead people?” 

“Oh, god.” She groaned dramatically. “That's the best idea I've heard all week.”

After you lost the farm, you wound up at an old prison. That was one of the rare times you had allowed yourself to try and be positive, and forced yourself to make friends, although it was obvious all your relationships were strained. Andrea was the only person who had ever made an effort to get to know you, and she was gone. 

Shane’s death didn’t affect you much, truthfully you were glad Rick killed him. The constant tension and heated arguments drained you just as much as Dale’s annoying humanitarianism. You attempted being friends with Lori, Hershel, Carol and Beth, despite the young girl being your polar opposite. She was soft, pretty, sweet and bubbly, you were hard, mean, vulgar and distant. 

Which might be one of the reasons your relationship with her had started to work. Beth saw you as a challenge, like a mean feral cat, and deep down you saw her as a possible redemption. If you could become friends with Beth, the sweetest girl with the kindest heart, you could do it with anyone. 

Lori never trusted you, so you never got far with her. She would look at you with this look on her face, like you were always seconds away from cutting her baby out of her stomach or some twisted shit. You had cursed her out once for said expressions, calling her a stuck-up bitch who thinks every woman that isn't her is beneath her. She died a couple days later, and a part of you that you couldn't push away felt like shit about it, for a very long time.

The whole Governor shit was a pain in your ass. But it was a blessing in disguise, because he was the reason you were reunited with Merle. 

“I want to come.” You stood your ground, grabbing your Ruger AR-15 from its spot on your cell wall. 

“I said no, we’ve got enough concerns, we don't need to be worrying about you.” Rick tried to speak in a hushed tone, his intentions good, not wanting you to feel embarrassed if the others heard you being denied. They knew you seethed at the prospect of being told what to do. You didn't work well with others, that was glaringly obvious.

“I don’t need you to worry about me.” You hissed, tugging the heavy gun over your back so the strap dug into your shoulder. 

Rick repeated your name, using his angry father tone, and that seemed to work. Your shoulders drooped and you growled out a few insults under your breath. You missed when the group members had more say in the way things were. Rick had become more authoritarian after Lori died, and it never affected you until that day. 

When they got back you were waiting at the door, pacing like a mother in those movies whose children had stayed out too late. Your eyes brightened as they filed into the prison, you saw Maggie and Glenn were back, and Michonne had returned as well. 

Your anxious smile slowly faded as the door closed behind them, counting two missing bodies. 

“Where…?” You breathed, looking between Rick and Maggie, your heart racing. 

Rick started having a goddamn mental breakdown after that, screaming at the walls and pointing his gun at things only visible to him. Tyrese, the newcomer, and his group fled, and a part of you considered it as well. If Daryl and Merle were dead, you had no reason to stay. Especially not with Rick behaving like a fucking maniac and no one speaking to you. 

True to your nature, you abandoned the prison in search of the Dixons. You knew they couldn’t have truly left, they would never do that, they'd never leave and forget you. Especially Daryl. He had promised to you one night after you fully secured the prison, that he was the one thing in your life that would never change. He’d never die, he’d never leave, he would always be there. Not in those exact words, of course, but in his own way.

He had stayed true to his promise. You found the two of them on their way to the prison, traveling through the same trails you’d originally used to find the place. 

“Thought I’d never see you two assholes again.” The apocalypse had made you more skilled at hiding your true emotions. You came off as playfully irritated, a contrast to the way you were barely keeping tears at bay. 

“Awww,” Merle teased in a condescending tone, faking a pout, “You miss us?”

“No. Rick’s group makes you seem like a peach though.” 

“Our group.” Daryl’s voice had taken on a strange edge as he walked ahead of you down the trail. “Those are our people now.”

You glanced at Merle to see he was outwardly displaying your same reaction, rolling his eyes and silently mimicking his brother's words. 

No matter how happy you were to see the two of them, Daryl’s reply echoed in your head for a long time. He meant what he said, you could tell by the way he spoke. He was changing, you hadn’t noticed it until that day, he wasn’t the same Daryl from Atlanta, the Daryl you knew. You swallowed your retort and followed him back to the prison. 

The Governor shit was really a pain in your ass after that day, making your earlier experiences a walk in the park. Through the tense days you found yourself around Merle more, the two of you discussing the prospect of just getting the fuck out of there in hushed voices, despite you both knowing Daryl would never abandon Ricks group. It was like he had some sort of unknown obligation to them, something you couldn't decode for the life of you, no matter how hard you tried.

“You're gettin’ real close to bein’ a bonafide pussy, boy.” Merle had said one day, shoving his finger in Daryl’s face. You stayed silent as they argued, biting at the soft skin inside your cheek. 

“Why? Cause I ain't jus’ lookin’ out for myself no more? Cause I actually give a shit about these people?” Daryl standing up to Merle wasn’t a familiar sight, and it made you feel emotions you really weren’t comfortable with. 

“It’s making you weak, brother.” Merle urged, nearly slicing his own scalp when he went to put his hands on his head, the heat of the moment causing him to forget his right hand was now a weapon. “Can't you see it? I ain’t gonna let you die for these sheep.”

Daryl would soon come to regret his last interaction with his brother. You, on the other hand, were lucky enough to have had some peaceful final moments with him before he vanished. 

“Dude, that's my fucking bed!” You shoved Merle away from your mattress, groaning when you saw it shredded and ruined. You’d have to go to the other cellblock and get another, if he hadn’t already paid those cells a visit. 

Merle sat on the floor breathing heavily through his mouth, resting an arm over his propped up knee.

“The hell you do that for?” You grumbled, kicking a chunk of bedding out of your cell and into the hallway. 

“Hopin’ to find some contraband.” 

“Dude, you could’ve just asked me. Holy shit.” You grabbed one of your bags from the corner of your room and began to dig through it, finally pulling out Merle’s old stash bag. HIs eyes lit up and he practically jumped for joy, snatching it out of your hands.

“You’re so fuckin’ beautiful, you know that?” He grabbed your face with his hand and noisily kissed your cheek, making you groan and shove him off. “Oh sweetheart. Whooo! Daryl know about this?”

“No, didn’t want him to know. I’m better at making shit last than him.” You replied. Daryl didn't like drugs the way Merle did, he had his run in with meth and its consequences and he was strong enough to quit and not touch it again. Other drugs were a different story though, you suspected the speed and painkillers would be gone by now if he had known you were the one who stole it.

He fished out the group of smaller baggies he was looking for, full of various shades of white in different textures. He groaned like he just creamed his pants and leaned over, planting another dramatic smooch to your forehead.

You stayed with him on the floor of your cell as he got high, and eventually he left to go ‘clear out the walkers in the tombs’, something you were happy to sit out on. He told you to stay back and you laughed, teasing with a ‘it's all yours, tweaker’. 

Even though your last moments with him were pleasant, you never forgave yourself for not accompanying him. 

@ophelialaufey @carlgrimesgfofficial @theskinniestjackson-denny @dilfish-daydreams @my1fx

[callmearcturus]

All the people saying he's a bad father and helped abuse Jamie AND Beard did a number on my view point.

okay one, he did not "help abuse" anyone. at zero point does he help Jamie get abused, that's the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard.

two, Ted does not approve of Jane but is extremely explicit about how him trying to intervene would have the opposite intended effect. which is shown explicitly when Higgins tries to intervene instead and it threatens his friendship with Beard and does not help the matter in any way.

three, the idea of ted being a bad dad is actually hysterical to me personally because congrats! you fell for the exact catch-22 bullshit that Michelle and Dr. Jacob put Ted into! yanno when we say shit like "patriarchy hurts men too"? well Ted's entire situation is like a prime example of that.

let's set the stakes: Ted was advised by an unethical psychiatrist and his then-wife that to facilitate giving his wife the space she needed in their marriage, he should move to another fucking country. he does so, expecting that in time, his wife and son would join him.

instead, his wife divorces him while he's still in another country, now tied to a high-profile, highly-lucrative job that requires his presence in London.

(and just for extra "what the fuck" points, she and her lawyer hound Ted to sign the divorce papers even though he's literally at an away game. as someone who investigates legal contracts as part of my full-time job, her actions read very strongly as trying to get a signature without informed consent from the other party, but THAT'S JUST ME.)

now, due to him being merrily exported and then cut off, Ted has only three real options.

Concede custody to his ex-wife without a fight so he can continue to work in his new position. (this makes Ted extremely sad and leads to idiots accusing him of being a bad father)

Try to renegotiate his custody agreement to be more equitable between himself and Michelle. (this will cause a PR firestorm the second it's discovered Coach Lasso is trying to STEAL A CHILD FROM THEIR MOTHER, what a fucking monster)

Give up his career and move back to Kansas. (and in doing so, give up that career, his friends, his community, his therapist, and all of the progress he's made on himself for the first time in his life)

Theodore Lasso got fucked by his divorce. Not just emotionally, but the way it was executed was manipulative and cruel. And there is not a clean solution to the situation to be had. And due to the specific way divorces are weighed to favor the mother of a child over the father, he's doubly-fucked.

So if you think he's a "bad dad" then congrats on reinforcing the exact systems that fucked Ted over in the first place. I wonder if people think Michelle is a good mother for how she handled the fucking divorce, berating Ted over and over to Just Sign The Papers and then getting romantically involved with their marriage counselor.

/rolls my fucking eyes

[ashes-goin-down]

I think Cartman hates jewish people and -Kyle- too much to be vulnerable like you've depicted. No matter what level of physical attraction he might feel.

Hi there, thanks for your comment. Unfortunately I wrote a whole-ass novel in response so here's the TL;DR so you don't actually have to read all that: I agree that the comic is OOC but I don't think it's because of Cartman's hatred of Kyle or Jewish people.

Sorry for misusing your message to go on a somewhat loosely related rant but I've been meaning to write this for a while and it came as a convenient excuse lmao _

I agree with you regarding the vulnerability. I don't think Cartman would voice his feelings like that unless (he could claim that) it's a farce (e.g., Jenny Simons, "Cartman Finds Love") or the other person shows interest in him first so he feels safe from rejection (Heidi, initially - not opening that whole can of worms rn lol). For example, he treated his attraction to Patty Nelson as a big secret, apparently not even considering ever confessing to her, and that's most likely because he was expecting the reaction she did end up giving him since, beneath his self-deceit, he's excruciatingly aware of the fact that he's actually not exactly highly regarded by his peers.

It's a lot of work upholding the façade he's build for himself of being this cool, esteemed person and it cracks easily even without direct outside influence (for example when Clyde Frog or Cupid Me insult him) so he really, really doesn't deal with rejection very well. Him being this vulnerable to Kyle specifically and then getting rejected would be absolutely catastrophic for him, so I agree that he wouldn't put himself in that position. However, it's my opinion that the most OOC thing about the comic is the fact that he simply acknowledges that Kyle hates him. I don't actually think he'd just accept that but would instead convince himself that it isn't true ("Kyle has internalized homophobia" or better yet "Kyle doesn't think he's worthy of someone as cool and awesome as me") and then do some crazy shit to try and win him over.

So yeah, you're right: He Would Not Fucking Say That. I don't think his hatred of Kyle and/or Jewish people is the reason he wouldn't, though, as I believe Cartman's feelings towards Kyle and Judaism are a lot more complicated than that. It's not without reason that his relationships with both are such a big part of the show and that people smarter than me have written whole essays on the topic lmao

I feel the need to clarify that I am in no way trying to excuse any of Cartman's antisemitism! I'd just like to voice a few thoughts on its origin and evolution.

Cartman is clearly weirdly obsessed with both Kyle and his religion and obviously they are linked. While I suppose initially it might have been a bit of a chicken-egg situation ("He hates Kyle because he hates Jews" vs. "He hates Jews because he hates Kyle"), I believe originally his antisemitism may have simply been a byproduct of his fascination with the third reich, which itself I think was mostly a result of his enjoyment of envisioning himself as a dictator (i.e. the ultimate authority figure) and as such was actually pretty surface-level - as is evident from the fact that for a long time he didn't seem to fully grasp what exactly Judaism even IS (as shown when he apologizes to Kyle for calling him a Jew or when he uses the term as an insult towards Stan and Kenny). Still, I very much dislike it when people try to downplay his bigotry as naivety. That really doesn't hold any water after very early on in the show, if it ever even did in the first place, since he definitely acts from a place of malice and over time his fixation on the religion seems to have developed into something bigger. He's learnt more about it and it became much more synonymous with Kyle for him (the order of which is also debatable but I of course lean a certain way). At this point in the show I believe it's safe to say that he wouldn't be nearly as obsessed with Judaism if Kyle wasn't Jewish. While Cartman is obviously a bigoted asshole in many ways, he's not nearly as preoccupied with other minority groups as he is with Jews and he has even shown himself to be surprisingly tolerant of homosexuals and disabled people (who, of course, were also heavily persecuted under Nazism).

I really do think that "Jewpacabra" did leave a lasting impact on his character. It's pretty obvious that he was being genuine at the end of of the episode and actually did intent on self-identifying as Jewish from then on (and iirc M&T confirmed as much in the commentary to that episode and explained that they just sort of… forgot about that lol) and then in "Shots" he does claim to be Jewish and while that may have been in an attempt to get a vaccination exemption, the aforementioned commentary makes me believe it may not exclusively be that.

Notably, he specifically calls himself an "Orthodox Jew", which Kyle obviously doesn't seem to be and that ties in nicely with him becoming a rabbi in PC and making the religion his entire personality - because it's not enough to become Jewish: He needs to beat Kyle at being Jewish.

Of course, Cartman never actually stops being antisemitic before the time skip but then "Cupid Ye" implies that that isn't even a fully conscious decision that he can completely control but instead at least partially caused by whatever he has going on mentally. He even actively attempts to counteract it when he decides that it has gone too far. That's my take on the episode, at least. Obviously the whole thing with Cupid Me is kind of messy. No matter what exactly is actually happening there, I do think the his actions here prove that his feelings regarding the matter are more complex than they may initially appear to be.

Though I know it's still a point of contention for many, to me personally it seems pretty clear that him being a rabbi and a family man in PC was authentic and that he wasn't simply messing with Kyle the entire time. However, I find it extremely interesting that Cartman converted BEFORE meeting Yentl so I actually don't see any way in which Kyle didn't have any part in that and as such I don't think he would have ever become a rabbi if Kyle didn't happen to be Jewish. So my personal headcanon is that while Cartman's conversion was indeed directly influenced by Kyle, he actually did end up finding fulfillment in the faith and it ironically helped him let go of his obsession with him (which I think fits the show's style of humor).

To summarize: As a shipper I may be biased but I think that Cartman is a disturbed little boy who grows up to be a disturbed little man who fails to fully understand his feelings towards Kyle and - as an extension of that - the Jewish faith and thus lashes out into extremes regarding it.

[lovemyromance]

Personally? If I wanted a book that focused on another SA healing journey - I wouldn't be reading SJM.

SJM is notorious for literally just USING SA as a traumatic backstory and never actually addressing the consequences or recovery from it.

It's always "this traumatic thing happened to me. I had a nightmare about it. Then I trained. Now I am #healed"

Like ???

On one hand - I get it. Shes writing a romanatsy, not a guided healing journey step by step book. Her side characters have SA trauma and it's not something that's focused on. Because that's not the story she's telling.

Which is why I highly doubt she's going to suddenly change her entire MO and just start writing an entire book about Gwyn's healing journey.

Like ?? What the fuck would that encompass? Having sex in the library and signing with Azriel?

She hasn't hinted any of that would happen. Pointing out that "Hm - Gwyn has not shown attraction to Azriel so I think it's unlikely that the next book is going to center around a love story between them" has nothing to even do with her past trauma. It has to do with CANONIcally - there is literally nothing that shows Gwyn has interest in that man.

Nobody's even bringing up her SA. Idk why people got it into their heads that oh yeah, the next book is about Gwyn & SJM is gonna write an entire book about her healing.

No she's not. There's literally zero evidence that hints that Gwyn will receive a book. Nothing in the actual text, and even less when you look at the types of books SJM has written.

She is a side character. Thats all she will ever be - and that is okay, it doesn't make her any less of a good person or character. It's not offensive to women to point out that Nesta's friend likely will not get a book. Sorry you personally find Gwyn super duper interesting and the next Aelin, or whatever, but in the grand scheme of things, Gwyn is on the same level as Emerie. There is nothing that makes her more important to the plot than Emerie. They were created to be Nesta's friend. That's it. They fulfilled that purpose.

End of story.

[dubiousanon]

I’m such a whore for highly competent kakanaru where everyone sees kakashi’s obvious protectiveness and Naruto’s smiles and thinks Naruto’s stupid (albeit with a shit ton of chakra) and kakashi just takes care of him.

BUT NO NO NOOOOOO

it’s not even just Naruto being powerful. It’s him being horrifyingly competent and able to pick up skills quickly once he’s shown and adapt to anything without missing a beat because he’s just always fucking watching and has gotten so used to it he doesn’t even realize what he’s doing. It’s just what he does and always has (like bro was always throwing kunai in the anime and while it was a joke about him trying to look cool EVERY TIME there was something weird happening around the area he threw it at!!!)

Just him having sharp eyes people don’t notice under the brightness in them. Or the squint of his smile making him impossible to read. Except for Kakashi who is the king of looking underneath the underneath and clocked him as soon as he could bear to get close to him

Idk I just love skilled and competent Naruto instead of for just powerful and strong Naruto. Ya know?

YOU GET MEEEE!!! Naruto may be a moron but that boy is NOT an idiot. He may not be smart in the same ways most people would notice, but there's a reason he was able to become Hokage and win nearly every fight he was ever in. He literally learned the Rasengan in record time, and he figured out ON HIS OWN how to make it work with his own insane chakra. He's incredibly adaptable, and I really wish more fics would explore it!!!

So many KakaNaru fics capitalize on the age difference and stick Kakashi into a caretaker role, which I'm totally not against or anything. Insane respect to anyone who writes anything, ever, in any form. It's not easy! I just wish more people would emphasize that Naruto is a functioning and intelligent adult who is highly, highly capable. I need more seal master Naruto! More Naruto hiding secrets and using his smile as a shield and/or weapon!!! More analytical and tactician Naruto!!!! More Naruto taking care of himself when things get hairy, not getting saved!!!! PLEASEEEE I'm starving out here 💔

[beau-bunny]

Something I don’t think people have noticed, because it’s not present in canon, is the fact that Zane was in the Nether for three years, and what that means.

From how many days passed in the overworld before Ungrth broke Laurance out of the Nether, I assume that Laurance was in there for about a week or two in overworld time. We also know that time passes differently in the Nether than it does in the Overworld, and though I don’t think we’re ever given an exact equivalent of like…”one day in the Overworld is three days in the Nether” etc. it can still be assumed that in the Nether, it at least feels like longer than that (especially since the Nether has no visible day/night cycle so you have no idea how much time has passed in the Nether)

Laurance was in there for 1-2 overworld weeks, and he came out absolutely traumatized. He was in terrible health physically and took days to recover back to his usual self, and mentally speaking it left him with a permanent scar and likely PTSD. He never stops speaking to Aphmau about how being in the Nether and being turned into a Shadow Knight was a traumatic and horrific process.

Zane died in late season 2, season 2 ends, and there’s a 3 year time skip between the end of season 2 and the start of season 3, when Zane breaks out of the Nether. Meaning, if he was turned into a Shadow Knight immediately after he died, which is extremely likely—he was in the Nether for three years. Which is a whole lot more than two weeks!! Now, he’s not shown as traumatized or physically damaged at all, but it is confirmed in a flashback that he was still highly painfully tortured during his time there. Its even implied that the other Shadow Knights are out to harm him or physically abuse him in some way because they remember how Zane Ro’meave hurt them in life and they want their revenge. So, it’s possible that on top of the torture of being turned into a Shadow Knight, he suffered abuse from the other Shadow Knights during his time there.

Now, of course there’s only so much kinds of “torture” that a PG-13 Minecraft cartoon series (written by Jess) will be willing to show, so instead of physical torture, the Nether itself is “burning away his soul” and that’s why he’s in excruciating pain. But nonetheless that seemed to be enough of a torture method for Laurance to be traumatized, so by that logic Zane should be MUCH more severely damaged both physically and mentally than he is at the start of season 3. My man should be BROKEN IN. If Laurance could barely walk or stand after coming out of the Nether, then Zane should be fucking keeling over unconscious. This boy should be UNWELL. With SEVERE trauma/PTSD my man should be put through the Wringer. That man is NOT coming back the same man he was when Aphmau & the gang last saw him. Laurance certainly wasn’t!!! For every trauma attack Laurance has from his 2 weeks in the Nether, Zane should be having twenty more from his 3 years spent in the Nether, he should be fucking BROKEN

Canon!Zane goes through the one process that is consistently canonically deemed to be the most traumatic and horrible process known to man, and he comes out of the Nether completely unchanged as a person, virtually no different than he was before he died. If anything, he’s in his best era!! He’s a hyper powerful immortal being now, he’s prancing around like he’s living the evil dream !! and meanwhile Laurance continues to decay from his trauma and gets worse and worse as it eats him alive. What is this, a skill issue??? Laurance and Vylad and Sasha and Vincent can be traumatized by the events of their death and their turning, but Zane is having a fucking blast??? This man who was tortured for three years straight?? (and don’t even get me started on how damn long three overworld years might have actually been in the Nether with its time distortion)

man should be broken. irreparably. man should not be half as “don’t stop me now by queen” as he is in canon. man should be the target of the worlds worst whump fic with no comfort. give me whump hurt/comfort MCD Zane material. which, thankfully as a fanfic author, I am capable of doing !! and will be treating season 3 Zane accordingly from now on

[scoobydoodean]

it is interesting to me that sam is judgmental about dean’s eating habits, but, from what I remember, he’s fairly non-judgmental about his drinking habits in comparison. while sam goes through phases of wanting to eat “cleaner” he never wants to give up alcohol. do you think this indicates that sam is also pretty dependent on alcohol himself but less “showy” about this than dean who jokes about needing alcohol more often? or is it more that he knows it comes off as insanely hypocritical bc of his demon blood addiction where he went off the rails while dean is still functional even during periods of heavy drinking?

(Does Dean joke around about needing alcohol that often?)

Interesting question. I don't think hypocrisy has ever stopped a character in Supernatural from saying anything tbh. But I also don't think Sam sees anything wrong with the way Dean drinks most of the time. This is a man who tried to give Dean beer for breakfast when he was suicidal (13.05). And I think the reason he was offering Dean breakfast beer is also pretty key to understanding why Sam, for the most part, shuts the fuck up about Dean drinking: He isn't actually good at dealing with Dean not being okay. It scares him. I'll come back to that in a minute.

I think fanon sometimes makes more of Dean's relationship with alcohol than it is. I'm not saying there aren't points in the show where Dean is very obviously shown to have an alcohol problem. I'm not saying his relationship with alcohol is normal (though his relationship with alcohol is pretty normal prior to him going to hell). I am saying I think a chunk of fandom tends to think of Dean as someone who is more or less constantly buzzed for most of the series, and that's just not accurate. After hell, Dean begins drinking to fall asleep. He is binge drinking a significant amount before bed by mid season 5 after the Harvelle's deaths (5.11, 5.16). But it is to fall asleep and it cuts back to a glass or two a night by the beginning of season 6 after a hard fought struggle we get small references to between Dean and Lisa (6.01, 6.06). Dean would be dead on a hunt within a month if he was constantly day drinking, and the show notes to us specifically when Dean is so out of sorts he feels the need to do that (see: 6.06, where Dean drinks just to be able to stand being near Sam, after being assaulted the previous episode while Sam watched and smiled). A glass of whiskey or two before bed becomes Dean's new normal from season 6 onwards. When his drinking ticks up from that in one season or episode to another, there's a deeper problem going on that Dean is struggling through. I only mention this because when I actually think of points where Sam might say something to Dean about an uptick in drinking... it's not going to happen as often as fandom sometimes imagines.

Sam understands Dean's options as far as dealing with nightmares from decades of reality-bending torture are highly limited. Realistically, Dean has zero access to qualified professional support. Suppose Dean took sleeping pills instead of drinking to fall asleep. Would he actually be better off? Would he eventually abuse sleeping pills instead? Would that just put something in close proximity to him that he could even more easily overdose on? Because... Dean also isn't a stranger to suicidal ideation, and Sam is very aware of that, and I wager he gets a hell of a lot more antsy about the thought of Dean having constant access to sleeping pills than he does about Dean drinking a glass of whiskey or two before bed. In the fucked up world they live in, as far as Sam's concerned, Dean's relationship with alcohol is usually "under control" in a relative sense. I think Sam understands Dean's use of alcohol and he accepts it... and he isn't going to get judgy, because Sam isn't good at actually handling Dean not being okay. Dean not being able to cope scares Sam however he might pretend to play Mr. Therapist (see my tag: #bad therapist sam).

If Dean chooses to cope with nightmares and sleep disturbances using alcohol while still being functional during the day, Sam isn't going to say a word. When Dean's drinking gets bad, for example, in season 7 when Dean constantly carries around Bobby's flask, I seem to recollect Sam speaking up about it at least once—at least in vague terms? But we'll see when I get back into season 7. (All I remember right now is him joking that alcohol is a "vitamin" for Dean in 7.18). I really do think in general, as far as Sam as concerned, as long as Dean's drinking doesn't effect his job performance... it's all good. He generally isn't going to touch it with a ten foot pole—not even to joke.

It is true at the same time that Dean's relationship with food also is and continues to further develop into a coping mechanism. Dean eats when he's grieving or sad and when he wants comfort. Food makes Dean feel safe. However, Dean also eats when he's happy, and Sam's judgments when it comes to Dean's eating usually happen when Dean is happy eating instead of sad eating (or when Sam at least perceives him to be happy eating).

I think the specific connection between Dean's drinking and hell may also play a role here. Sam failed Dean deeply on the hell front and I think he knows it. I won't even mince words: it is Sam's fault that Dean never talks about hell. Dean was opening up between 4.08 and 4.11, but because of Sam's cruel turn in his framing of that traumatic experience, Dean's hell trauma is forever the silent looming thing that no one talks about. Not Sam, not Dean, not anybody. Getting judgy about Dean drinking to fall asleep could easily open cracks in Dean's own self-imposed wall and Sam is smart enough not to scratch at it. Not just for Dean's sake, but for his own, because that betrayal intersects deeply with Dean's broken trust in Sam in season 5, and if there is one thing Sam's ego absolutely cannot take, it's reminders of moments where he proved Dean could not trust him.

[phasesofpencils]

Yeah no Blitz is fully within his right to be pissed off about that "confession".

Blitz literally has no reason to believe that their relationship was anything other than transactional, their last meaningful interaction together was Ozzie's and we ALL know how that went. Even the episode directly before that Stolas is still calling Blitz his "impish little play thing". Blitz's argument that Stolas is "Springing this feelings bullshit on him" is completely justified because Stolas's feelings really do kinda feel like they spring up out of no where during the Ozzie's episode.

And plus we have been getting force fed Stolas's pity party about his horrible marriage, how he's loved Blitz since he was a kid [which A) always felt weird/unnecessary and like they were just blatantly trying to retcon his intentions and B) arguably might have even made it worse cus even back then Blitz didn't have a choice in it], how he now sees how wrong the deal is and how bad he feels and oh he loves him so much. But even if you see all that and sympathize with Stolas for it, BLITZ NEVER SAW THAT DEVELOPMENT!!!

Blitz only ever saw Stolas talking down to him by calling him shit like "itty bitty imp" and "impish little plaything", not taking him seriously when he tries to set boundaries with him and completely ignore every single request he makes to not come onto him in public and not humiliate him in front of everyone from strangers to Stolas's own fucking daughter.

THEIR WHOLE DEAL WAS ABOUT SEX AND NOW STOLAS IS GETTING ANNOYED WITH BLITZ FOR "ALWAYS MAKING IT ABOUT SEX"????? MY BROTHER IN HELL YOU WERE THE ONE WHO MADE THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS FOR THE FUCKING DEAL!!! YOU WERE THE ONE WHO MADE IT ABOUT SEX TO BEGIN WITH!!!!! You were literally just bemoaning how wrong and unfair the deal was, earlier that same episode you asked "if he's only here as a prisoner what kind of MONSTER does that make me?" but now that Blitz is calling you out on it suddenly it's "i didn't realise you thought so low of me😢" you have never given him a reason to think any higher of you. You say you "think so highly of him" and how you don't care about social status but everything you've down towards Blitz so far has shown otherwise. Even literally dismissing him like Blitz accused him of doing by throwing him out for the crime of making him upset. Stolas didn't deserve that Sorry Blitz was gonna give him anyway.

I can already tell that watching reactions to this episode is gonna he so frustrating, so many reaction channels i watch have been so deep in the Stolas UwU Soft Boi propaganda the season has been giving us so far and already get pissed off at Blitz for the crime of making Stolas sad. I'm at least glad for Sarcastic Chorus cus even tho he ships it he can still think critically enough about it to not just blindly coddle Stolas.

[oneslimybastard]

Ghetsis facts:

>At least two grunts are scared of him (musharna being able to spook them off with visions of being scolded by Ghetsis)

>His speeches does in fact convince some people to release their pokémon or at least second-guess their view on the trainer-pokémon relationship

>Tells the grunts to give Bianca's Munna back

>Persuasive enough to essentially wiggle some of his Guys out of arrest in Driftveil, even if Clay does it reluctantly

>Knows Reshiram and Zekrom would not fuck with him so he picks up a miracle child from the forest to do it for him instead. Raises said child kind of like his own but also kind of not, there's a deliberate distance put between them

>Did make this wonderchild who can speak to pokémon and are clearly very empathetic towards them hang out with pokémon who had been mistreated for the purpose of instilling an ideology in him.

>Randomly has 3 ninjas who are just ride or die until the end of time for some reason

>Lots of team plasma is ride or die for him actually, otherwise Neo Team Plasma wouldn't have been a thing

>He rubs the death of Alder's partner pokémon in the mans face. All cheeky beaky like. Because he can.

>He will tell the teenager his Adopted I Swear Not Related Promise son is fixated on as a rival all about how he basically groomed say son into doing all of this dragon bullshit while having them cornered on a bridge. Then just casually walks off. His ninjas are there too.

>Will also happily tell said teenager they probably aren't that special or chosen or whatever, lol lmao, seems like ur dragon haven't woken up yet, dw maybe it will, lol.

>Cannot take an L to save his fucking life. Will lash out at everything and everyone around him and build a stupid airship with a stupid laser powered by the crinkly old grandpa of the dragon trio and do a terrorism before taking an L

>Refers to himself as being PERFECT while inhaling massive amounts of copium

>Needs a cane in bw2 and is only ever seen using one of his hands, so probably physically disabled to some degree

>Strong enough to jam the butt of that cane into the solid frozen earth of a cave. Probably just kind of a visual metaphor for him being threatening but also Hear Me Out What If He's Fucking Built-

>N is ride or die for him enough to still try and get through to him during the bw2 climax despite having been utilized as a silly little pawn yet again. This does not work, because as previously mentioned, man just cannot take that L

>When faced with literally no other option but to take an L, he passes out. His ninja squad punctuates this with him probably not being a threat anymore.

Ghetsis interpertation:

I think all of these things weave together into just a very fascinating person when you look at them a little deeper. Someone who's clearly charismatic enough to acquire that much loyalty, love, and fear — but also not equipped to handle the shame of failure in the god damn slightest. When threatened he devolves from a calculated cult leader above it all to a snarling animal fighting for its life, because he's probably rotted away behind a mask of perfectionism for years rather than done any significant growth as a person. He's clearly intelligent, probably highly emotionally intelligent because if he wasn't he wouldn't be able to pull this shit, but all of that shatters and breaks and splinters with one (1) crucial failure. He tries to recuperate but can't, the survival instinct is breathing down his neck because to him the shame of being a human like the rest of them rather than the perfect ideal he's been forging is scarier than anything that could actually physically kill him. He blames N, he blames MC, Colress, just about anyone and anything that doesn't end up pointing back to his own shortcomings.

And still! N probably loves him! And it's probably genuine! He wants to connect with him and breach that gap and give him ibuprofen because even if he's shown himself to be cringe, that's still his father, which is something he values enough to try and hold on to. And the ninja guys remain ride or die, so there's clearly something to him other than schemes and trickery, something genuine and beautiful that might not in practice be worth fighting for but it sure feels like it.

A beautiful man who's warped himself into a demon because he couldn't stand his own humanity because he's probably autistic and traumatized from his undefined childhood, and when he's beat down, rather than taking that L at long last, he'll curl up in his little cage, continue to snarl and tell himself over and over that this is what he is. What he will always be. He couldn't become god so he resigns to dying a devil. Because even still, that is preferable to him over taking that L, admitting to himself he is just a little guy like other little guys with problems he couldn't cope with, and that it caused hurt and destruction.

Devils don't feel regret or shame, humans do. And he'd have a loooot of that to chug through if he decided to face it. So he won't.

which is just very sexy and milfy and babygirl of him i think. this is my "why ghetsis is like so sexy actually" manifesto, without even tapping into the juice that is him going "nuh-uh" over his own dang disabilities but that too ties into how he can't cope with his own imperfect humanity so u know. Also that he's just kinda sassy and petty. Amazing. 10/10 best written character not in the games but in my brain.

[mohnaka]

So, in regards to Hondo in Skeleton Crew since it's something I keep seeing people ask about: it was confirmed that he won't be appearing. Here's the specific bit from the article:

I’ve seen speculation that a live-action Hondo Ohnaka will appear in Star Wars: Skeleton Crew. True or false? –Corey A freighter resembling Hondo’s was spotted in the distance at Port Borgo in Episode 2, but series creators Chris Ford and Jon Watts confirmed for me that we won’t be meeting the Clone Wars pirate. “We’ll rip off that Band-Aid and say no, we don’t have any Hondo,” Ford told TVLine. “Honestly, we love Hondo, but there wasn’t really a part in our story that offered a good enough role for him. Like, if we were trying to cast him in this, he would be like, ‘This part is not big enough for Hondo!'” Which is not to say Skeleton Crew, in success, won’t ever feature the interstellar buccaneer. “We would love to keep doing this,” Ford said, “and keep exploring the whole pirate side of the galaxy, and build up to that.”

There's always the chance they could be lying, but considering the wording, I don't think they are. But! He is coming in the next dlc for Star Wars Outlaws! No exact release date yet, sometime in spring. If you haven't played it yet, I highly recommend it.

Now on a side note, something else I've seen a lot of people ask/say in regards to Hondo showing up in media set after Rebels: isn't he already super old/dead/etc? Long story short, no. Short story long because I'm autistic and don't know when to shut up under the read more:

If you were somehow unaware (hoping that doesn't come off as judgmental, it's more of a surprised thing I swear!), he's actually a part of Galaxy's Edge aka "the Star Wars land" at Disneyland/Disney World, which is supposed to take place in between The Last Jedi and The Rise of Skywalker (so about 34 ABY). Or at least it was initially, they've been kind of loosening it up lately, but the two rides (Rise of the Resistance and Millennium Falcon: Smugglers Run, the latter of which Hondo is basically the star of) are still in that specific time range. So he's not dead nor is he going to die in anything set before the sequels (but then again, "Hondo Ohnaka survives every time", could be the Force keeps bringing him back to life to fuck with everyone).

In Legends, the approximate lifespan for his species (Weequay) was about 90 years of age. There's been no word on whether this is still canon or it's been made longer, but if it is still canon, it does give us an idea of how old he was in the various eras. If we're to assume he's somewhere between 80 to 85 years of age in 34 ABY (Lando, who he's shown to be on good terms with in issue 4 of the Halcyon Legacy comic, is 77/78 years in 34 ABY for reference), that would make him:

Between 25 to 30 years old when he's first introduced in The Clone Wars

Between 42 to 47 years old when he's first introduced in Rebels

And last but not least, between 55 to 60 years old in 9 ABY, which is (supposedly) when The Mandalorian/Skeleton Crew/etc takes place

Somewhere in the middle is most likely, since the younger estimate would put him at only 14 years old in 32 BBY (during The Phantom Menace), but 17 to 19 years old isn't that wild considering what we've seen older kids/teenagers deal with in this franchise. It's not completely unrealistic that someone with a background like his would be just starting off leading a group of pirates in his late teens.

Anyway, what's he been up to since Rebels? He actually founded his own Totally Legitimate Shipping Company, Ohnaka Transport Solutions, sometime in between 1 ABY and 4 ABY prior to the Battle of Endor. It's currently (as in, 34 ABY currently) based in Black Spire Outpost on Batuu, though whether it was always there is unknown. Also at some point he got himself a ship that he named the Katooni...yes, like that Katooni. In fact, it's the one mentioned in the above interview about Hondo appearing in Skeleton Crew, so in a sense, he might have already had a indirect cameo!

Sources for most of this/recommended reading: Pirate's Price, The Secrets of the Bounty Hunters, and Halcyon Legacy #4. If you're looking for Hondo content outside the shows, read these. Especially Pirate's Price if you've always wondered what it'd be like if Han and Hondo met. And as previously mentioned, Halcyon Legacy #4 has him with (the real) Lando.

[valiantstarlights]

Hob is a chef who owns a food truck selling authentic Indian food, and Dream is someone who doesn't really eat well. (He had a bad breakup a year ago and it caused him to eat less. He's trying to eat better with his siblings' help.)

Dream agrees to go with Death to one of those food truck fairs for her birthday. There's not a lot of people yet so some of the staff offer them free samples to entice them into eating more from their food truck.

Death is having the time of her life, and she thanks Dream for going with her even if this isn't his thing at all.

Dream says that he enjoys the atmosphere (a.k.a. no huge crowds yet) and appreciates the aesthetic of the food they have already eaten: the understated elegance of the mango bingsoo, the dancing bonito flakes on top of the takoyaki, and the satisfying cheese pulls from the megruli khachapuri.

Death, encouraged by his interest, asks him to pick another food that he likes the aesthetic of so they could try it next. Like before, it's understood that they'll share a serving so Dream doesn't have to worry if he can't eat a lot.

Dream agrees. He picks an appetizing-looking plate of butter chicken from a foodtruck selling Indian food near the edge of the fair grounds, where not a lot of people have ventured yet.

They are greeted enthusiastically by a very handsome man and Death does all the talking because Dream is distracted by his forearms and smile and manbun. (He's salivating, so he must be hungry. Right?)

The handsome man turns out to be both the chef and the owner, and he chats with Death while he prepares the food. His name is Hob. He quit his job at a fancy hotel because he wants to feel more connected with his customers and share the food that he loves cooking for his family. (Dream is falling for him the more he talks. He doesn't realize that he has yet to speak and has only been staring.) (Hob is highly intimidated by him but also thinks he's cute.)

The food is served. Death takes her first bite and says something like 'holy shit dude wow this is great' and Hob is just about to thank her when Dream takes his first bite and lets out the most sinful moan Hob has ever heard this side of his laptop screen.

He is (understandably) frozen in place, staring at this beautiful man devour his food while sounding like a porn star. He may or may not be violating food safety standards by getting hard in his jeans in the truck's kitchen area.

Death is astonished because Dream has never shown this much enthusiasm while eating before. Even when they were kids. She is now looking at Hob speculatively. Should she google 'how to politely ask a stranger to (please) marry your brother'?

Dream...honestly doesn't even notice anything other than how delicious the food tastes. When the plate is clean, and Death has only gotten to take that single bite at the start, he reddens and apologizes, but Death waves it off, and Hob says something like, "I have some dessert too, if you want."

Dream unconsciously licks his lips and says, "Please," in a voice that could either mean 'Yes, please, I want some dessert,' or 'Fuck me raw right now.'

Death, immediately picking up on the sexual tension, says, "We'd like some kulfi, but I'll take mine to go."

And Dream is like, "Sister, what--?"

"I just remembered Desire and I have an appointment to get our nails done so I have to go--oh, thanks, Mr. Gadling--bye Dream, love you, be safe!" And then she's gone.

Dream is left with Hob who is still holding the other kulfi in his hand, looking slightly stunned at Death's very abrupt exit. The kulfi is starting to melt. Dream, unthinkingly, leans forward and sucks the tip.

They both freeze and their eyes meet, Dream's pink mouth still on the kulfi. Hob gulps at the visual. Dream, still maintaining eye contact, licks it from base to tip, then starts sucking in earnest, eyes steadily darkening when he sees Hob's breathing becoming unsteady.

Hob hears some footsteps coming their way, potential customers from the sound of it. Hob hands Dream his kulfi and apologizes to the customers, saying that something came up and he has to close. Like, right now. Sorry for the inconvenience but this is really important.

He closes up in record time while Dream taunts him by enjoying his dessert. He's already sitting on the passenger seat of the truck when Hob climbs into the driver's seat.

Desire's text the next day reads: 'DREAM YOU SLUT IM SO PROUD OF YOU'

Destruction for some reason knows Hob's number and has texted: 'Break my brother's heart and I'll break your spine.'

Dream slowly but surely begins to eat better. How can he not, with all the support he has, and Hob there to love him even on his bad days?

Hob gets everyone's approval, even Destruction's, eventually. He's the best cook and most considerate brother-in-law ever.

When Dream passes by his ex while walking down the street one day, he realizes that he's alright now, and is definitely better off without them. He's actually thankful, because if not for them, then he might not have even met Hob. He doesn't greet them because he still hasn't forgiven them, but he also doesn't feel like bursting into tears anymore.

At the end of the day, when he gets back home, Hob is there to welcome him with a sweet kiss, a warm meal, and a lifetime full of love.

[melmedarda]

I’m sorry to jump in your inbox with that long af rant, but I’ve been lurking and loving every Meljay post of yours since day one and I need to scream in the void.

I’m inconsolable over how bad the writing of acts 2 and 3 was, it literally feels like it was written by a completely different team. What even was that conversation, it sounded like they asked ChatGPT to write a scene based on top 50 tweets about Mel and Jayce after 1x05 aired back in the days.

I’ve never in 15 years seen a ship so cruelly ruined, because how are people supposed to continue at all tolerating Jayce with that idiotically out of character dialogue in 2x08 between him and Mel? What a fucking bad way to treat fans, having them invested all the way until literally the last moment, it already was bad with how the majority of people (fandom, reactors, obviously the artists too) were “interpreting” Mel (if you can even call it that, cause interpretation requires media literacy), but now they have left us so burnt that I'm betting there aren’t even going to be fix-it fics because they. Just. Ruined. Jayce, so bad. And I still love the well written (still flawed tho!) Jayce from 3x01 (setting up a way more natural conflict-to-be-resolved path when he made those weapons five minutes after Mel vowed to protect his dream), but damn, I love Mel so much more, I really don’t know how to cope with all that. Only people who’ve had the luck to not have been treated as that husk of an AU Jayckass treated our girl can’t see the amount of PTSD that scene can trigger in a woman. I am so frustrated with how the creators treated her trauma and slashed the wounds wide open with both that and “You are the wolf”, I genuinely don’t know how to cope.

And the worst part is all of this could have been resolved with a single touch and him being open to her – like he always have been – just tell her he’s doomed instead of showing us a highly specific and unrelated two frames of the voidy-looking infection on his forearm spreading every time he is on screen. Even if that is one of their “yes we meant that all along we just wanted to show not tell it” like with the whole idiotic Sky/Viktor backstory that Overton “spilled” the other day. Jayce has been able to see through Mel’s shields the moment he saw her painting and was always shown to admire her intellectual prowess, he’d never leave her hanging like that.

If they wanted to write a Shakespearean tragedy so bad they made this intro scream “look at us, we gave you Greek last time, now it’s all about good ol’ Billy” why not have Jayce make the same impossible choice (as they brilliantly and am starting to think accidentally?) made Silco do in 1x09, having him choose between his love for Zaun and his love for Jinx, drawing one final parallel between the two men and closing that loop with Jayce/Silco carrying Viktor’s/Jinx’s body and infusing them with the deus ex machina. It was right there staring them at their faces, have Jayce choose between his love for Mel and his love for his brother.

What a spectacular failure of writing, what an even more monumental failure of the artists to come out with those comments, so now I don’t even want to praise their talent, because they should have kept their mouths fucking shut and stuck to drawing.

Sorry to dump this in your ask, can you tell I’m still reeling.

Please, please, do you have any headcanons, I need crumbs, I need to heal my soul and Mel’s.

Lovely anon you've but into words what all Meljay fans are feeling, I think. I cannot lie, I've been trying to let go of the ship. Withdraw sort of, especially since that was the ending we got. But I've had them for three years, and they've sunk their claws too deeply to me. I'm still thinking of them even now. I'm going to make the most of their divorce era, and I'm going to make them return to each other in ever single AU ever. Because Arcane S2 act #3 is not my Meljay. Also, AU Jayckass had me bursting out in laughter!

On the topic of headcanons. I have one in which when Vik tells Jayce to go back, Jayce does. He returns to Piltover but too much time has past, Mel has already burned his name and departed across the waters to Rokrund. Jayce knows he's done her wrong, realizes he's been blinded, and he does his best to atone in Piltover and Zaun, writing letters to Mel. Letters that go unanswered. And then eventually, he goes to Rokrund, and finds a different woman, one stronger and colder than he had known. He loves her anyways, and spends his years winning her back. And when he has groveled sufficiently, Mel takes him back. He sort of grounds her, so that she does not remain the wolf all the time. So that she does not become her mother.