#'i need your help' 'of course love. with what?' absolute ride or die behaviour
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lassieposting · 2 years ago
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Things I'm emotional about in 1x04:
This line from Kirigan: "When I was a boy After I created the Fold I used to run away and hide here. Once I realised I was a descendant of the most hated Grisha in Ravka...I'd come here, throw a coin, make a wish in the fountain. Same wish, over and over again. That I could be anyone else."
90% of this is? Most likely true. He's not even lying, he's just changed a few details.
2. Alina asking him, "Was I properly schooled?" after she recounts the story of the Black Heretic. She doesn't know that's him, but she believes they're family, and she's giving him an opportunity to set the story straight if she's mistaken, tell her his family's side. And he actually responds to this! Sort of, because centuries of trust issues are like. A Thing, and he's learned the hard way that trusting anyone is usually a Very Bad Idea. But he tells her that he's been trying to bring down the Fold and put things right all his life since then, and opens up a little, and looks surprised at himself that he did.
3. "Nina Zenik...hasn't reported in. If she's alive, she may need our help."
A whole army under his command, and he sends one of his own personal bodyguards after her. I love a man who doesn't leave his agents in the shit, even if it's only because they're useful. It would have been so easy for him to dismiss her as compromised and send someone to eliminate her before she's able to give up any information to Fjerda - but he sends Fedyor to help her instead. Fuck me up.
4. Genya trying so hard to flirt with poor awkward David. This man is a massive autistic mood. The woman who never compliments anyone gives him like three compliments in a row and he's just like yep okay thank you bye
5. The sheer amount of trust between Inej and Jesper for her to let him shoot a playing card out of her mouth. For a girl with such a traumatic backstory full of so much loss and pain, that she's able to trust anyone that much makes me feel things.
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ignitedbynatsu · 4 years ago
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He Makes You Feel Insecure ~ Natsu
A/N: Woowie it has been a while hasn’t it ���� Writers block can be a bitch but I think I have a few more ideas for the other boys. Let me know who you want me to write for next!!
warnings: insecurities (he makes you feel like you feel like your magic isn’t compatible, cursing
genre: angst to fluff
Other versions:
Gray ~ Laxus ~ Cobra/Erik ~ Bickslow ~ Gajeel ~ Jellal ~ Freed ~ Sting ~ Rogue
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Tension had been running high for Natsu when his fire attacks had been cancelled one after the other by the wind magic user, but when you were the one that accidentally nullified his attack with your water magic, that’s when he completely snapped.
You had taken note of the rising irritation in your boyfriend's behaviour, and you thought that he hadn’t noticed the attack coming his way so in the heat of the moment you decided to step in. As a result, your water extinguished his flames and you both could dodge his attack your opponent’s attack just in time.
“Natsu, I’m so sorry-“ “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
You were a bit taken back by his sudden tone as he had never yelled at you before. He took notice of your sudden state of shock, but that wasn’t enough to prevent the vicious word from coming from his mouth “Why the fuck did you think that was a good idea? Don’t you see that you’re a nuisance to me? All you do is fuck up my fire and get in my way. I don’t want your magic near me, can you get that through your thick skull?”
“Natsu!” Erza called out to the stressed fire dragon slayer “This is not the time nor the place”
“I won’t get in your way next time” You whispered before heading over to help Lucy with her opponent.
After a while, you overpowered your foes and were now on a train making your way back to Magnolia. You sat next to Lucy, while Carla and Wendy were seated in front of you. Natsu, Gray, Erza and Happy were seated in the boot next to yours.
“(Y/N)” Natsu whined “I’m dying, please help me” You usually summoned some water in the palm of your hand and let it softly swirl against his forehead. For some reason, it helped with the nauseous feeling, and you were about to give in until you realized his words from earlier. He wanted your magic nowhere near him. What if you somehow fucked up and splashed water all over him. You did not want to be yelled at again.
“Tell Natsu I’m asleep or something” You mumbled lowly, so only Lucy could hear, while you laid your head on her shoulder. She gave you a sad smile, knowing the outburst was still fresh on your mind. She complied, making Natsu groan in response but eventually gave up. He didn’t look too much in it as he knew how tired you could get from these jobs.
Once out of the train, you didn’t spare Natsu a second look. You walked in front of everyone, but Erza quickly caught up to walk next to you, while the other looked after the two Dragon Slayers that were still feeling a bit nauseous from the train ride “Are you okay?”
“Of course! Why wouldn’t I be?” You asked.
Erza clicked her tongue as she looked at you from the corner of her eyes, absolutely not believing the lie that just fell from your tongue “Natsu was way out of line”
“He was just stressed, it can happen to the best of us” You shrugged it off, hoping that if you treated it lightly it wouldn’t weight down later in your mind.
“Still not an excuse to work it out on you” She pointed out.
“I know, thank you for caring, but really Erza, I promise I’m okay.” You gave her a small genuine smile which she returned.
You didn’t return to the guild as the others did, instead, you went home, telling the others you were too tired from the mission to deal with the shenanigans from Fairy Tail. Natsu offered to walk you home, but you kindly denied it, leaving him a bit confused. He realized he should probably give you some space since he lashed out at you. He made a mental note to apologize next thing in the morning when he’d see you.
“(Y/N)! Baby!” Natsu ran over to you and hugged you tightly while spinning you around making you squeal in surprise “put me down, Natsu”
“Only if you forgive me for what happened yesterday,” he said.
“I forgive you. You were stressed, I get it, it’s no big deal” You forgave him.
“I knew you’d understand, you’re the best” He kissed your cheek as he placed you back on your feet “anyway Happy and I found this job and-“
“I think I’m gonna take a day off, still feel a little tired from yesterday, you can go, though, have fun” you cut him off before he could fully explain the mission.
“Alright, make sure you take care of yourself today! I’ll be home as soon as I can, so we can cuddle” He kissed your forehead before turning to the Exceed “Let’s go Happy! Let’s go ask if Lucy wants to join”
That’s how the following weeks went. You always found an excuse to not join Natsu and Happy on the job. Sure you had forgiven him for his outburst since he was under a lot of stress. He shouldn’t have taken it out on you, but you also knew it could happen to the best of us when you’ve hit your limit. However, you couldn’t help but see some truth in his words.
Your magic was not compatible and made you doubt yourself. You associated yourself strongly with your magic, as every wizard did, so I made you think if you and Natsu were suited for each other. After all, that was one of the many reasons why Natsu and Gray shared such a peculiar friendship.
You had often heard of the saying that opposites attracted, but nothing could be further from the truth. The human race is a narcissistic species and wants nothing more than finding themselves in their significant others. Huge differences might be exciting and fun at first but are bound to break in the long run.
“(Y/N), you wanna go on a mission with us?” Natsu asked as you stood in front of the board with job applications.
“Can’t, I promised Gajeel I-“ You started to explain but cut yourself off when Natsu threw you over his shoulder “Natsu! Let me go! Natsu!”
“No we need to talk,” He said in a serious tone, making you stop struggling against his grip and let him take you outside, so you could talk in private.
“What do you wanna talk about?” You asked softly as you took notice of the sincere expression on his face.
“Why are you avoiding me?” He asked as his black orbs were searching for answers in your eyes.
“I am not” you deflected his question, but you breaking eye contact as soon as the words past your lips proved you were lying.
“Ever since that day I lashed out at you, you haven’t gone on a mission with me” He pressed.
“That’s not true” you denied once again which made him frown. Why were you dishonest with him?
“Okay, when was the last time we went on a job together?” He asked. Your silence was a clear answer and you both knew it. Your gaze averted to the ground, but he refused to let you shy away from him as he placed a finger under your chin to tilt your head back up until your eyes meet once again. His hand softly from underneath your chin to lay on your cheek “are you still upset with me?”
Your heart shattered at how vulnerable he was right now. His playful antics long replaced by guilt that had been slowly eating away at him for the past days. “No, of course not”
“Then please tell me what I did wrong. I can’t stand the thought of me deliberately hurting you. Please tell me what’s troubling you, so I can fix it” He pleaded.
“Do you-“ You paused to collect your thoughts “do you think we’re right for each other?”
“What do you mean?” 
“That day you said my magic was a nuisance. It got me thinking and you were right. You have to evade my magic so often, and it's all because it isn’t compatible with one another. I just didn’t want to be more of a hinder than I already was, that’s why I started to join others on their jobs just so I wouldn’t mess up yours. I just sometimes wonder if my magic isn’t the only thing that isn’t compatible with you.” You frowned as you hear yourself your insecurities out loud.
“Hey, no, stop. What I said that day was completely out of line. I took my frustration and took them out on you and I shouldn’t have. I have no excuse for how I acted that day. You didn’t deserve it, and I’m sorry for making you feel bad. So what if we’re a little different. I thought you always liked a good challenge?” He apologized.
“Sure I like the thrill of our relationship, but it doesn’t take away from the fact our magic isn’t suitable for one another. I just think we’re setting ourselves up for failure. A challenge is fun for a little while but we both know that stability is what you need if you want a relationship to survive in the long run” You explained.
“Then we’ll defy those odds. I’ll show everyone and especially you that you don’t need something like psychology to prove if a relationship will work or not. Please let me prove to you how much I can love you and let me prove to you that I’ll eventually become that stability you crave.” He vowed. “I always thought you weren’t one to be quick on giving up when things get rough”
“I’m not, I just don’t want to put my heart out there if I know from the start it’ll only get broken” You uttered somberly.
“I promise you it won’t. I’ll love you with every fiber in my body until the day I die. I will never make you doubt yourself or our relationship again” He told you, sincerity audible in his voice.
You smiled softly at him as your arms sneaked around his waist while your head laid on his chest. His arms immediately reacted at your touch, shielding you away from the world as his lips planted a soft kiss on your head “I love you”
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Nemesis: Retribution (4)
Summary: 10 years after the Avengers had left you for dead during a mission gone wrong, you unexpectedly re-enter their lives. Wholly unrecognizable from the person they used to know and now with a new team behind you, they ask for your help to stop a chain of syndicates who were manufacturing and peddling the super soldier serum. You were determined to say no until the chance at the vengeance you had been chasing for years was added to the offer.
Fandoms: Avengers, Marvel, MCU, The Punisher, Daredevil
Pairings: Female Reader x (Frank Castle, Billy Russo, Matt Murdock, Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, Pietro Maximoff)
Warnings: EXPLICIT SMUT. SHAMELESS SEXUAL BEHAVIOUR (18+ ONLY. I WILL BLOCK YOU), voyeurism, exhibitionism, authority kink, praise kink, spanking, slight dom themes, polyamorous relationships, reverse harem, blatant disregard for canon timelines and events, angst, Punisher canon level of violence and gore, strong language, mentions of trauma, mentions of character death, fluff if you squint, 
A/N: Slowing it down just a bit to move plot along. Freaking out on the reblogs and comments are encouraged and will be rewarded with cookies. Seriously though, I love hearing what you guys think and use some of it to make the next chapters better. I adore you all! Have at it!
No permission is granted to repost, steal, or translate my work. Not even a credit makes it okay. Tumblr is the only place I post my writing. If you see it anywhere else please report it.
Series Masterlist | Full Masterlist
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1:4 Apple Crumble
Steve Rogers had kindly offered for you and your team to stay at the Compound. For however long this mission would take, you were all going to start running straight at it early tomorrow. In terms of the mission, he was relieved to have your help. The sooner the serum was out of circulation the better and they truthfully did need your help. This underground world was more your scene now and you could better navigate it.
On a personal level, he was glad that you were sticking around even if it was on a contract. He would take whatever opportunity he can and make the best of it. That's how he's always been and he wasn't going to change that now.
He told himself that it was because he was the Captain that he was at your door this late after you all had agreed to part for the night. It was out of consideration that he carried with him some of his own clothes to offer you in case you needed something to change into. It was out of a need to clear the tension with you now that you were going to work as a team again that he was knocking on your door.
That was all.
You opened the door a moment later wrapped only in a short towel and with your hair still dripping wet from the shower. The smile that rose on your face was sly as you leaned on the doorframe with your arms crossed and your hip cocked to one side. He swallowed.
Maybe that wasn't all.
"What can I do for you, Cap?"
He opened his mouth, but no words came out. He was far too distracted by the little droplet that rolled down from your temple to the valley of your breasts. He shook his head and cleared his throat, forcing himself to focus only on your eyes and not the inappropriate answers that sprung to mind at your question.
"I brought you a change of clothes in case you need it," he managed to say. "And I wanted to talk to you if you're not too tired."
You opened the door wider and took the clothes from him without a word, turning into the room toward the bathroom. You casually dropped your towel to the floor and Steve choked at the sight of your bare back, a small set of black panties the only stitch you wore. The breath in his chest released only when you disappeared into the bathroom, the door cracked open offering him enticing glimpses as you moved around.
Steve hurriedly closed the door behind him and as he made his way further in, he caught sight of an open go bag beside your bed with clothes clearly visible. There was also a shirt and sweats beside it, the design he knew belonged to Pietro. He felt a little embarrassed. Of course Pietro would have already beaten him to it and that your team always came prepared. Still there was a satisfaction that bloomed in him when you stepped out clad in his shirt, the hem barely reaching mid thigh and bare feet soundlessly crossing the carpeted floor until you came to sit with him on the sofa. You tucked your legs under you and rested your head on your hand over the back of the seat.
"Gotta say I like this look, Steve," you grinned at him.
He chuckled, self-consciously rubbing at his beard and pulling at the hair at the back of his collar. The light dusting of red on his cheeks didn't go unnoticed by you.
"What? You don't like the all American apple pie look?"
You hummed and took a leisurely look at him from head to toe. Rugged and imposing as he appeared, the heat on his face intensified at your obvious appreciation and the way you swiped your tongue along your bottom lip. You were biting your lip when your eyes met his again, trying to stop yourself from laughing at how flustered he was getting and how much you were enjoying it. You've always found Steve handsome and he made apple pie look damn good, but this look on him was just so dangerously delicious.
You had a type.
"I'm more of an apple crumble kind of girl. I like the texture better," you winked. "And I don't mind a little beard burn."
"Will your team mind that I'm talking to you without one of them here?"
You raised an eyebrow and held his unsteady gaze, clearly understanding he meant more than just your professional relationship with the three men.
"You're curious."
"It's none of my business. That's not what I came to talk to you about," he stammered, unaccustomed to how forward you were.
"What did you want to talk about then?"
"I wanted to apologize properly and thank you for agreeing to help."
You groaned and threw your whole body back on the seat, causing Steve's shirt to ride up just shy of completely flashing him. You sat back up and pinched the bridge of your nose, letting out a long breath. It was only the fact that it was Steve that you were even entertaining this conversation.
"You have nothing to apologize for, Steve," you firmly dismissed.
"I do, Nem. We all do."
"Fine. List down what you're sorry about. Let's go through it one by one or we can draw lots to make it interesting."
"Nem," he said, low and clear with warning yet imploring you to listen. "Can you take this seriously for one second?"
The ever present smirk on your face dropped as you sighed heavily and ran a hand through your hair. For the first time since he's seen you, your expression softened a fraction and a shadow of the person he used to know passed across your features.
"Listen to me, Steve. I don't blame any of you. I'm not angry at any of you. I honestly have no room for more anger even if I wanted to be."
In the beginning you were. There were days while you were getting tortured that you hated them while you pleaded to the heavens for them to rescue you. It had taken a decade and three incredible men for that inferno of fury to turn into a manageable bitterness.
"Do you know how tiring it is to be so fucking angry all the time?" you chuckled darkly. "It took a while, but I learned to prioritize what I choose to be angry about."
"Salvacion," he muttered and you nodded, your eyes staring blankly forward.
"I've carried that name for a decade, Steve. That asshole has to die by my hands."
Steve saw now how selfish he was for forcing the conversation with the purpose of earning your forgiveness. It was for easing his own guilt that he was doing it when instead he should have just been thanking you for what you did and had to endure.
"Why didn't you ever come back?"
"I tried, Steve. When I was recovered enough I tried to go back. Did you know my sister had a girlfriend?"
He shook his head, throat suddenly closing at the sight of absolute misery in your eyes. He regretted starting this conversation even more.
"Jill. She was amazing to Lily and she was like a sister to me too," you smiled a little, not in your usual sarcastic way but with a hint of gentle fondness before your expression hardened once more.
"I saw her and I just couldn't bring myself to face her. I'm the reason the love of her life is dead. I couldn't, Steve"
It started off with the fear that they might have killed Jill too. You told yourself you had to know, but truthfully you were trying desperately to find a connection to Lily. You found her visiting the graveyard, laying flowers on two stones and spending the afternoon sitting on the ground tearfully talking to the dead. The shame burned through you and from then on you made it your sole purpose to destroy the man who took Lily from you both. Until then you had no right to face her. You had no right to return to the life you once knew.
Steve noticed that you weren't crying although the look in your eyes was swimming with grief. He expected you to cry, but somehow seeing you with dry eyes only made you look more in pain. You only clenched your fists, your shoulders tense and your jaw stiff. Steve decided he would tell the others instead of having you go through this conversation again.
He would do that for you.
You woke up surprisingly refreshed the following morning, strangely lighter than you have felt in the past decade. You didn't expect for that talk with Steve to have such an impact on you. You smiled ruefully, remembering your many counseling sessions with Curtis before and that maybe you were finally seeing his point.
FRIDAY had directed you to the larger conference room for today's briefing session with the rest of the team. You were wearing another one of Steve's shirts paired with your usual cargo pants, a fact that didn't go unnoticed judging by the raised eyebrows and teasing smiles. Billy in particular was leaning in to whisper to Matt what was going on.
"You don't have to tell me. I can smell it," Matt chuckles, crinkles visible at the edges of his dark sunglasses. "His cologne is quite distinct."
You smacked Billy on the arm, but laughed with them as well before throwing a wink at Steve who proceeded to blush a deep red. As you took your seat, a cup of coffee suddenly materialized in front of you accompanied by Pietro's ever bright smile. You smiled gratefully and took a sip, eyes slightly rounding in surprise at the taste.
"You remembered how I took my coffee."
"I've forgotten nothing about you, little star."
You haven't taken your coffee that way in so long. It's been just strong plain black coffee lately, the lack of sugar and cream where you lived with the boys being a factor. It had seemed pointless to eat something sweet when there was a permanent sour taste in your mouth from life. Now though you couldn't seem to help taking one sip after another, licking your lips before going in for more.
Right now this tasted right.
You didn't notice that Billy was smiling adoringly at you and sharing a look of approval with Frank as the briefing began, happy that someone aside from him was spoiling you. You certainly didn't know that Matt was smirking because he heard your heart literally skip a beat at the sweet gesture.
It took hours for the meeting to wrap up, but there was still more to do before you could actually take action. A number of the Avengers were sent out to gather more intel while the rest would stay to make further preparations.
"I only really need to talk to Frank a bit more," Steve said as he approached your group. "Why don't we have Pietro show you guys around the Compound? There are some improvements I think you'll find interesting."
Your tour guide for the afternoon appeared beside you, taking your hand in his and bouncing on the balls of his feet in his excitement. He was just too cute that you couldn't help but let out a small smile. The effect he had on you remained it seems.
"A tour would be really helpful for me," Matt easily agreed.
"And I go wherever the pretty girl goes," Billy added, slinging his arm over your shoulders.
"Great. Surrender your weapons and you should be good to go," Steve asked with a pointed look at both you and Billy who groaned in answer.
Billy was ready with a string of complaints and counter arguments when the clang of metal on the glass conference table stunned him into silence. He watched in complete disbelief as you removed every gun and blade attached to your body, efficiently dismantling them and lining them up on the table.
"Is she?" Matt murmured, leaning closer to Billy.
"Yeah."
"All of them?"
"Yeah."
By the time you stepped back, there was practically a decent sized armory on the table. How and where you managed to fit all of it on your person was a mystery to them.
"You missed one," Billy said, snapping out of his daze.
He stepped in front of you and casually slipped his arm up the front of your shirt and under your sports bra. His fingers grazed unnecessarily close to your now hardened nipples and he simply winked when you raised an eyebrow at him. Billy pulled out two small throwing daggers soon after and placed them alongside your other weapons.
"Oh yeah. I keep forgetting about those," you chuckled.
"Do you always come armed to the teeth?" Bucky snapped, clearly bothered by the display.
"She doesn't want her team to carry extra ammo for her, Sergeant," Billy scowled at him, the obvious animosity surprising Bucky. When he turned back to Pietro, his expression was back to his usual playful one. "So how about that tour?"
Frank turned to Steve when you had exited the room. "You gotta teach me that trick, Cap."
"What trick?"
"First time in 10 years I've seen her take any kind of order without a knife fight first," he said, cracking a smile and shaking his head.
It turns out that coming back was doing some good for you and this made him more comfortable around the Avengers. He wasn't about to braid them friendship bracelets but he was less inclined to pop a cap in their ass. At least for the time being.
Walking around the Compound brought back some of that wonder you felt when you first stepped in, but it recalled everything you had lost. Sensing the sudden tension in you, Billy gripped you by the waist and pulled you into his side. He kissed your temple, a silent reminder of what you had gained.
Pietro had been an absolute sweetheart, specifically describing what was in the area for Matt's benefit and pointing out the changes to you. The training area was your last stop, the place you had spent the most time in during your short stint here. There were loud sounds coming from the area and walking in you saw fresh-faced recruits in paired off sparring sessions.
Your full attention was on Pietro as he happily listed off the new features and answered questions from Matt and Billy, the latter now in businessman mode as he thought of what he could implement for Anvil. You were having an unusually pleasant time until a familiar shrill voice demanded your attention.
"Well look what the street cat dragged in. Y/N?"
You knew that voice. A decade with torture and trauma included apparently couldn't change how much her voice grated at you. The cold smirk made a reappearance on your face as you slowly turned to face her, the three men with you were instantly alarmed at the change in your demeanor.
"Kim," you nodded.
"Thought you were dead."
"Thanks. Can't say I thought about you at all though."
"I see you're still pathetically clinging to Pietro."
"What can I say? He's really cute," you said with a wink at Pietro who seemed to enjoy the compliment.
She sneered at you, her irritation rising when you weren't backing down like you used to do. She couldn't quite put her finger on what had changed about you, but you seemed rougher around the edges and far too cocky for her liking. Luckily, she still remembered a sure-fire way to take you down a few pegs.
"I'm teaching a class on hand to hand combat. How about we show them a demonstration on what a real fight looks like?"
You giggled as your smile grew, a disturbing sight that made even Kim doubt herself for a moment. You nodded your head in easy acceptance and she looked like she was pleased at herself for getting this opportunity. Before you could step forward though, you found Matt's walking stick blocking your path.
"What? It's not assault if it's provoked," you grinned at the frown on his face.
He hated it when you found loopholes, but he relented with a heavy sigh. He was too used to this. He leaned toward Pietro and told him that he should inform the Captain.
"Get some snacks too, roadrunner," Billy chuckled, delightedly watching you strip off your shirt and walking confidently towards Kim on the sparring mats.
Pietro had returned a moment later after completing his task, actually handing Billy a bag of fresh popcorn. The smile on his face froze when he caught sight of your bare skin. So far all he had seen as evidence of your torture was what was visible on your neck and face. He had stupidly brushed that fact aside, too excited to have found you again. Now the vicious marring on your beautiful skin was a cruel reminder of their failure as your team. They had failed you.
He had failed you.
Back in the conference room, the same feelings were shared by two super soldiers. They had pulled up surveillance on the training area after Pietro's message, just in time to see you take off that shirt.
Bucky felt the air leave his lungs at the horrific sight. He was alive and you had paid a heavy price for saving him. He could barely keep his eyes on you, the shame burning through him. He didn't want to imagine the amount of pain you had to endure to sustain those injuries.
"Don't you people dare look at her with pity," Frank warned. "Those scars are a testament to her strength. She's damn beautiful."
Steve agreed. He'd caught a glimpse of your scars last night and jarring as they were, your complete lack of self consciousness to them just made you more alluring. Looking back at the screen though he was concerned that you could hurt yourself. Kim was a top agent now, high enough in the ranks to be training recruits and leading missions. She had proven herself deadly in combat, but the way you were grinning was chilling in itself.
"One question before we start," you said.
"What?" Kim scoffed, flipping her braided hair over her shoulder.
"When's your next mission?"
"2 weeks. Why?" she answered, perfect brow raised in confusion.
"Just calculating your recovery time," you shrugged. "I'm nice that way."
Kim predictably charged at you then, growling and cursing at you under her breath. You smirked, standard SHIELD movements were easy to read for you. You stayed completely still and relaxed in your stance as she lunged at you with her fist. You timed your movement precisely, sidestepping at the absolute last moment. One hand grabbed at the back of her head, forcing it down to ram against your oncoming fist with a sickening crack.
Broken nose.
Kim shrieked in pain as the blood gushed from her nose and she tried to pull away from you. You didn't let her. You pulled her down by the shoulder to bend her over before driving your knee up her midsection. She wheezed at the impact, the mat below her smattered with her blood.
Bruised ribs. Maybe slightly broken.
You unceremoniously threw her aside, letting her fall groaning on her side. You clicked your tongue, watching her struggle and turning to the class she was supposed to be teaching.
"Lesson 1, kids," you waved your hands in Kim's general direction. "Don't end up like that."
Broken ego.
You turned to go back to your boys when the glint of metal caught your eye. You tilted your head just in time for the dagger to zip past your eye line, only thinly scratching at your cheek. Your hands reacted on instinct, reaching for the small hidden pocket along the waistband of you pants. You flicked the thin blade with deft fingers, embedding on the mat and landing it purposely close to Kim's eyes that it cut through her fake lashes.
"Nem!" Steve's unmistakable voice boomed through the speakers. You had forgotten that they had FRIDAY everywhere. "We said no weapons."
You rolled your eyes and smiled cheekily at the cameras. "It's just a nail file. I don't like keeping blood under my nails."
"You call that training?" Steve groaned rubbing his eyes and turning to Frank.
"I call that anger management," Frank said, amused at how unpredictable to handle they already found you when they've barely scratched the surface. He noticed how Bucky looked furious, his metal hand clutching a little too hard onto the table. "Don't like what you see, Sarge?"
Bucky didn't answer. He didn't tell them that he didn't like what he saw because he knew he was a major contributor in what caused it. If only he had been kinder, gentler, more honest. Maybe things would have turned out differently.
He walked down the hallways much later gripping a first aid kit in his metal hand and nervously running the other through his cropped hair. The cut on your face was barely anything, but he needed an excuse to talk to you. He was afraid you would turn him away, but he was terrified that you wouldn't. He didn't know what to say to you. He didn't know how to begin to apologize for everything he's done. His palm grew sweaty and beads were beginning to form on his brow.
He was only a few steps away from your bedroom door and he was sorely tempted to turn back around when he noticed that it was cracked open and he could hear voices from inside. He should have followed his instinct to keep his distance but a high whine that definitely came from you pushed him to peak through the small opening.
What he saw made his already thumping heartbeat grow quicker. His eyes grew wide and his throat went dry. Whatever he was expecting, it definitely wasn't this.
You. Stark naked. Grinding your mound on someone's face.
You looked absolutely glorious as you wound your hips in your chase for release; head thrown, back arched, and lips in a dreamy smile. The view he had of you, facing him and deep into your pleasure, was enough to cause his pants to tighten. He couldn't see which one of your teammates was beneath you, the bedframe blocking his view. Whoever they were, Bucky was jealous. He wanted to taste you too.
He felt that stirring of longing again now as he watched you in the throes of passion with another man. He felt it the moment you stepped back into their lives. He felt it during the 10 years they thought you were dead. And he felt it when you were still in training as a recruit every time you smiled at Pietro and Steve.
You picked up your pace and he could see muscular arms reach up to grip your waist and pull you down harder. You were panting curses, your breathing turning erratic and Bucky could see your thighs begin to shake. The sight of you coming undone has to be the most entrancing thing he's ever seen.
Movement from you and your partner pulled him from the hypnosis caused by your erotic display. His face heated up, deeply embarrassed at having watched you for so long and finding enjoyment in basically violating your privacy. He was about to leave when the man whose face you had been riding, came up to kneel behind you.
He pulled your hips back against his own, sliding his hard length easily into your dripping cunt causing you to moan so deliciously that Bucky felt a shiver run down his spine. You reached your hand up to grip the back of his head, letting him bury his own in your neck as he set a languid pace with his thrusts.
Your head rolled to the side and your eyes opened, locking directly with Bucky's. You smirked and reached down to circle your swollen bud, pressing your back further against the hard body rutting behind you and purposely putting on a show. You winked at him.
He bolted out of there.
"That wasn't very nice, honey," the low voice was thick with lust in your ear. His breathing was growing labored too, finding your heat wrapping around him overwhelming.
"I don't see you stopping, Captain."
"How can I when you're gripping me so tight?" He snapped his hips earning a sharp moan from you. "Did you like that? Torturing my best pal with me balls deep inside you?"
You sighed and closed your eyes. Apple pie Steve wouldn't have whispered such sinful things to you, but this Steve could make you cum with just filthy words alone.
"Yeah, you did. Look at you clenching and soaking my cock from having Bucky watch you. You like being bad to him, honey?"
A sudden smack to your ass had you snapping your eyes open. He chuckled into your neck, biting down hard on the juncture as he felt you gripping him even tighter.
"Answer," he growled, landing a harsher smack to your bottom.
"Yes! Yes, Captain, I did."
"Good. Will you be good for me now, honey? You caused a bit of trouble today." His thrusting was still slow, making sure you felt every ridge and vein with each stroke as he drove you into a stupor. "Will you be a good girl for your Captain now?"
"Yes, Captain."
He smirked against your skin, pleased at your compliance. He was reveling in the power he had over you. Frank had said that you never took orders without a fight, but here you were being so good for him. Pliable. Yielding. He was enjoying it.
He gathered your hair in one hand and pulled, your back arching beautifully and emphasizing where his cock was buried deep inside you. With each thrust his cock came out glistening with your slick. The image made him lose control, abruptly escalating his pace to rail feverishly into you.
He had you gasping and clutching at the sheets instantly, begging for him to go harder and push you over the edge. He bent over you and reached around to rub furiously at your throbbing clit.
"Cum like a good girl, honey. Cum around my cock," he commanded. "I wanna feel you fucking drown me."
You came, lights dancing in your eyes and your head empty of all thoughts aside from the pleasure that racked your body. He followed soon after with a loud grunt, the sensation of you fluttering around him too much to resist.
He fell on top of you, spent and satisfied. Your sweat and heavy breaths mingling together as you both tried to return back to the world. You liked the heavy feel of him on top of you, strangely finding comfort in the weight.
He dragged you with him when he rolled off you, spooning you and planting kisses on the back of your shoulders that had your skin tingling from his beard.
"When are you going to put him out of his misery?"
"When it stops being fun?" you chuckled.
Steve wasn't going to push the issue. He knew that it was up to you whether you forgave Bucky or not and when that would be. It would be on your own terms how things moved. Just like what happened between you two. He wasn't expecting it, but the heated argument about the injuries you inflicted on one of his best agents had somehow escalated into him spanking you and you growing wet from it.
Not that either of you were complaining.
You turned around in his arms to face him, looking up at him with a taunting smirk. "You sure your old heart can take being in a polyamorous relationship?"
He chuckled and pecked your lips before going back in for a much deeper kiss that had you swooning. When he pulled back, he was looking at you lovingly.
"I'm known for waiting too long about things like this. I lost my shot at you 10 years ago. I'm not missing out on you again."
His words were firm and genuine. He honestly thought that he would mind having to share you with several other men. He thought that he would feel jealous and possessive. Instead, he felt reassured. He knew that wherever and whenever he lacked, someone else would pick it up and he would be the same. There was a sense of relief knowing that you would always be taken cared of by people who felt the same for you as he did.
"Well then you have some making up to do for waiting so long," you said nibbling at his lower lip.
He groaned and grabbed your thigh, hitching your leg up on his hip. Your thighs and core were still sticky and slippery from both your releases. His tongue dove into your mouth and he could feel you moan against his lips as he ran the tip of his cock against your still sensitive core. Your nails dug into his back as he sunk in, fitting perfectly inside you.
"You're running with a super soldier now, honey," he said, eyes burning with want. "I can do this all day."
------------------------------------------------
A/N: Some asked about Jill and Kim so here you go, lovelies. Come freak out with me in the comments and reblogs. Thank you all for the support! More coming soon. 
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sagamemes · 4 years ago
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quotes from tabletop games, part i.   thank you to whomever decided in the first game i was in to start collecting quotes being said during the table—here’s a sentence meme featuring 100 sentences that have been said out loud or written down during various tabletop roleplaying games i’ve acted as a game master for, or in conversations surrounding it. sentences edited to fit written roleplay better. it’s a mixed bag, y’all. tw:  implied sexual content and jokes, death and violence mentions.
❝  holy shit, /i'm/ the professional in this situation.  ❞
❝  i don't think there's a lot of water in her birth chart.  ❞
❝  you know how much I love goading you into bad decisions.  ❞
❝  [i/you] did faceplant.  ❞
❝  i hope you know this is all your fault, [name].  ❞
❝  wouldn't it be nice if you could bite it back?  ❞
❝  [person] could've bonked the knob to death.  ❞
❝  a little bit of making out in the cupboard is not a security threat.  ❞
❝  no-one else can see it, but [person] is definitely being haunted by an ex-girlfriend.  ❞
❝  she's a new yorker, leave her alone  ❞
❝  we've all known each other for about four hours and we're making goblins of ourselves.  ❞
❝  you’re laughing!  [name] is dead and you’re laughing!  ❞
❝  god, what a weird little man!  ❞
❝  i don't speak [fandom/media].  ❞
❝  because, of course, you don't immediately run out of blood in your head—  ❞
❝  technically shoes are skin without feet.  ❞
❝  if it helps, she does have a youtube channel.  ❞
❝  should we even play d&d, maybe we just do therapy instead.  ❞
❝  oh great, what can i do with a dead body?  ❞
❝  the man with no face is just a raccoon.  ❞
❝  or whatever the victorian equivalent of reaching into the fridge and grabbing a block of cheese.  ❞
❝  i do not acknowledge more men than i need to.  ❞
❝  he footless because he got paws.  ❞
❝  [i am/they are] intrigued by the bundle of scarves.  ❞
❝  i thought she landed on her wrists?  ❞
❝  i'm glad i didn't faceplant, at least.  ❞
❝  it is not resistant to bonk damage.  ❞
❝  my interpersonal skills are shit!  ❞
❝  is he made of bees?  ❞
❝  oh well, she's got one of those as well.  ❞
❝  —which is objectively the wrong way to eat books.  ❞
❝  no teeth, no feet. simply vibes.  ❞
❝  we're going to have to listen to soft ballet while we fight this thing.  ❞
❝  that was my third frowny face.  ❞
❝  puff puff pass but instead of getting high you have a coherent thought  ❞
❝  oh yeah, i killed your neighbour, didn't i?  ❞
❝  we're city kids, we know what traffic is.  ❞
❝  give me a gay vibe check.  ❞
❝  THE QUEEN IS MICE.  ❞
❝  doesn't matter which of us die because i'll see you all again on hell.  ❞
❝  you know how when a person's decapitated—  ❞
❝  i don't even have my eyebrows on.  ❞
❝  we will create chaos.  ❞
❝  i heard g-string.  ❞
❝  i have a masters degree in library science and i googled  ‘ feetless man ’ !  ❞
❝  am sad. want ham.  ❞
❝  you are the most powerful person in the room with that cheese tray.  ❞
❝  you'll wake up to something you don't wanna see  ❞
❝  buff mice.  ❞
❝  —but it would've been a sexy thing to do.  ❞
❝  THE GAME'S OVER! THE GAME'S OVER! WHY ARE YOU STILL DOING THIS TO ME?  ❞
❝  it’s mice mentality.  ❞
❝  i know the implication was not that we were little beans but shh...  ❞
❝  it's your turn!  ❞
❝  charlie's angels, more like [name]'s headaches  ❞
❝  it's me, the bitch who failed  ❞
❝  i'm really good at that! ... no, i'm not.  ❞
❝  i love this absolutely doomed party.  ❞
❝  unless someone wants to try to overpower two peasants.  ❞
❝  we don't make good leather.  ❞
❝  you could definitely be mistaken for a respectable person now.  ❞
❝  unfortunately, my alibi is dead  ❞
❝  you would not think that english was my first, and frankly my only, language.  ❞
❝  what the fuck happened to my music?  ❞
❝  [name], that's gay behaviour.  ❞
❝  i truly just want u to imagine putting a hand on a titty and feeling a sack of dust through the skin.  ❞
❝  we've conspiracy theory'd this ghost and now it's a feral raccoon.  ❞
❝  does the number of heads you have factor into how easy you are to hit?  ❞
❝  i wanna do something weird.  ❞
❝  are you trying to reason with a drugged cat?  ❞
❝  what die do i roll? the one with numbers?  ❞
❝  i'd avoid plants if i were you.  ❞
❝  i want to be the burger king of a ruined world.  ❞
❝  just because i can be charming doesn't mean i will initiate conversation.  ❞
❝  that scream didn't have an american accent.  ❞
❝  i guess he was just two horses in a trench coat in the end  ❞
❝  make meth, i dare you!  ❞
❝  holy shit, you read french?!  ❞
❝  i've already put down two frowny faces on my notes.  ❞
❝  [person/animal] doesn't have good stamina, actually.  ❞
❝  we've established that the bees are trustworthy, [name]!  ❞
❝  i can't find the fucking d!  ❞
❝  frostbite'll do that to you too. you're not so special.  ❞
❝  we laugh in the face of a vengeful god  ❞
❝  sorry, but for the sake of the mission, i gotta drown everyone.  ❞
❝  i don't know anything about... men.  ❞
❝  i didn't consider all the emotional implications!  ❞
❝  it's a little known fact, but the h in  ‘ goth ’  stands for hrt.  ❞
❝  thank you for giving me an opportunity to murder you.  ❞
❝  don't worry, i'm a very gentle dom  ❞
❝  i'm gonna stay riding it, then.  ❞
❝  just two dudes who may or may not have done a murder  ❞
❝  you can't even count on [name] for numbers.  ❞
❝  'twas the night before christmas and all through the house not a person was stirring, because they were all dead.  ❞
❝  how is that rat bastard looking?  ❞
❝  maybe [name], because he has rights  ❞
❝  maybe [name], because he has no brain  ❞
❝  i'm cruel but i'm not an asshole.  ❞
❝  we're just two cartoon dogs vibing in the fire.  ❞
❝  in the spanish dub, [person a] and [person b] kissed before [person a] left  ❞
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artificialqueens · 3 years ago
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Gimme Love, 1/9 (Miz Cracker/Blair St Clair) - Grinder
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AN: Welp! I started this back in March. It was supposed to be a oneshot and then I realised it was 200 odd pages. Whoops! Another songfic based on music by Joji. This one is Gimme Love, which some of you would probably know, it was circling TikTok for a while. Anyway, more song fics to come!! I hope y'all enjoy! Stay safe in these crazy times!
TW: Mental health, panic attacks
1993
"OK, so you got your apple juice, your finger sandwiches, and grapes. And most importantly, you got your best outfit on. Ready?"
No. I wasn't ready. They were going to eat me up. I knew just by how the 3 bitches off to the side stared and laughed. One of them was swinging from the bus stop pole. It sounded evil, but I hoped she would have fallen over.
"No." I clung to my Mother.
"Brianna." She uttered. She was tired, already having dealt with this before leaving the house. And it didn't help that Grandpa only laughed instead of helping out.
"No!" I said louder, squeezing my tiny fists into her shoulders.
"Look. Everything will be fine. The day will fly in, trust me. And I'll be right here when you get off the bus later." Mom continued.
She gave me a kiss on the forehead and shook me off.
As she smoothed her skirt down, I stamped my foot in a huff. For me, this was the second most ultimate betrayal that had ever happened to me. My Mom was making me go to school. How dare she.
"I love you, girl. Be good and have a great day." Mom said before walking away. My gaze followed, feeling the faucet in my eyes turn on. I was prone to cry baby behaviour around this age.
Now that my Mom was gone, it was all game for the bitches.
"Awww, the little baby needs her Mommy." One of them cooed in her fake voice. "Didn't you know the pre-school bus picks up two hours later?"
"Yeah!" Another decided to join in, "And I bet that's not even your real Mommy."
"She is too!" I clenched my tiny fists at my side. This was half true. I was an adopted child, but to me, Roberta was the best Mother I could have ever asked for. And no one had the right to question that.
"No, she's not! Your real Mommy didn't want you 'cause you're ugly!"
"Yeah, look at your hair. It looks like a fur ball."
"And your clothes are obviously hand me downs."
I stamped my feet again. "That's it! I'm giving you the finger!" I flipped them off. I picked it up from Mom, from the many time's drivers pissed her off. When she'd warn me never to do that, I knew it had some sort of power to it.
But it did nothing. The girls just laughed even more. I had no defences; therefore, I was left helpless.
The bus pulled up, and I was last to get in. The girls warned almost everybody to watch out for the "girl with the weird hair".
I moved down the middle of the bus, my head moving from side to side, hoping to find a seat.
Everybody with a free seat either put their bags on the chairs or put their feet up. I wanted to snap, demanding that they let me sit. But the fear inside rendered me silent.
I was nearing the back, where the 3 girls sat. They smirked upon seeing my face, relishing in the fact I was on the verge of tears. All I wanted was to turn back, get off the bus and lock myself in my house.
But as if someone above heard my innermost thoughts, that's when I heard it.
"Do you need a seat?"
I looked towards the voice. And I froze. There she was, an absolute angel. She looked like a Disney Princess with her bright blonde hair and blue eyes.
I hesitated for a moment. But the bus began to move. So I sat down next to her.
"Hi," I said.
"Hey." Her eyes were observing me, looking me up and down. And I felt even more stunned. "You have funny hair."
"My Mommy says I have lovely hair," I replied in defence.
"I didn't mean it in a bad way. I just never seen hair like that." The girl replied.
My hair wasn't even bad. I just had a massive head of untamed brown curls. Nothing out of the ordinary.
Then again, I had never seen anyone with hair like hers. She looked like she had gone to a salon beforehand. "Your hair looks golden."
"Thank you." She smiled. "I'm Blair. My favourite colour is yellow, and I wanna be a singer when I grow up. How about you?"
"I'm Brianna. My favourite colour is pink. And...I wanna be a politician someday."
"What's a pola...polatichon?" Blair asked.
"A politician." I corrected her. "I don't know what they do. They just shout a lot. And that's what I want to do."
Blair had no idea what I was talking about, but she laughed anyway. And that made my heart skip a beat.
I felt something pelt the back of my head. I grabbed it, looking at the small rolled up bit of my paper in my hand. It was wet. I had just been spitballed for the first time.
Blair looked over her shoulder, and I did the same. It was the three bitches from the bus stop. They weren't even hiding their giggles.
"Not nice." Blair stuck her tongue out at them. Then, turning back around in her seat, she put her hand on mine. "Don't worry about them. I'm your friend, Brianna."
"Really?" My eyes brightened.
"Of course!"
As much as that statement had made my heart soar, how it made me feel like there was nothing to be afraid of…
It was the biggest lie I heard that day.
As soon as I got off the bus at the end of the day, I waved to Blair, unaware that she would be sitting with the 3 bitches the next day.
And then it went on for years, being that ugly girl with weird hair. And it didn't help that I needed glasses later in life.
But I wasn't completely alone. So let me tell you about Jujubee.
2020
"Hey, asshole! I'm pulling in there!"
Jujubee was hanging out the driver side window, flicking the indicator aggressively.
"Juju, can you just...not do that?" I asked, my eyes glued to my phone as I checked how many people had seen my Instagram story. It was a picture of the two of us, showing off our outfits that had been gifted from Alexander McQueen.
"And let that asshole steal my spot? Absolutely not." Jujubee protested. She flipped the guy off, only to receive the same gesture back at her. She wasn't prone to behaving like this. I usually found it absolutely hilarious how loud she could be.
Now, you're probably wondering - two well-dressed ladies in their Alexander McQueen outfits should be seated in the back of a limo, sipping champagne.
I wasn't a fan of limos. They only drew attention.
And with Jujubee hurling dog abuse at the other drivers, I was sure the attention would be on us.
But we made it to the event without any trouble.
Jujubee was hilarious, intentionally and unintentionally. I learned that all the way back on my second day of school. When it was clear to me that I wouldn't be friends with anyone else, I ventured off on my own, exploring the playground and looking for bugs. But, instead, I found her sitting alone in the sandbox.
"Leave me alone. I'm trying to dig to the centre of the Earth." She had said, blowing her shiny black hair out of her face.
I knew she would only reach the bottom of the pit, so I laughed, and I helped her dig. We had been inseparable since.
We grew up together, all the way through elementary, high school and college. And through those years, we had one thing in common - we were the weird ones. The kids who everyone bullied.
Ugh, I hated that word; bullied. It made me feel pathetic and helpless. Jujubee and I, however? We were far from pathetic and helpless. After all, how would we even be where we were if that was the case?
OK, maybe I was pathetic and helpless growing up. No, I was. I had just accepted all the name-calling, the shoving, the damage. Jujubee, on the other hand, would fight against it all.
But back to the current situation. We were now sitting at a table with the other project workers. Everyone was having a great time, and the event hadn't even really begun yet. They passed jokes around, talked about trials and tribulations, and I laughed along.
But I may as well have been alone as I was stuck in my own thoughts. How it was even possible, we were all gathered here for this moment.
I looked at Jujubee, sitting next to me, and felt an overwhelming need to hug the shit out of her. If it weren't for her being so encouraging, then maybe this wouldn't have happened.
"What's up?" She caught me staring.
I lowered my head for a moment, breathing a laugh out through my nostrils. I didn't want to get sappy with her, even though she deserved my gratitude. My best friend, my ride-or-die bitch. Lifting my head again, I smirked. "Nothing. I'm just glad you're on this team." I raised my glass to her before sipping the bubbling champagne.
"Proud of you bitch." Jujubee reaching over and squeezed my free hand.
I was proud of me too. Because, despite all of the shit I dealt with in school, here I was, the manager and director of this whole operation.
All of the hard work paid off - years of trials and tribulations, so many arguments and disagreements. We finally did it. We found a gateway to another world, a parallel universe, a portal in the middle of the space just waiting to be explored.
Of course, people doubted me. They said things like, "Well, it is a dream, all right." How could anyone blame them?
But here we were.
The speaker, Michelle, called me up onto the stage to receive a certificate, all encased in a glass frame. I exchanged air kisses with her and graciously took the award. Jujubee cheered me on as I stood up there, letting people take pictures.
And then came the obligatory speech.
I couldn't lie; I hated public speaking. It was always something I struggled with. But, I never backed down from one. I just liked to keep them short and sweet.
"Long story short, I had dreams, and I worked towards them. So, here I am, an example of the walking embodiment of success. And I thank each and every one of you, ladies and gentlemen. Have a great night."
Short and sweet. The crowd applauded.
Yes, I was told in the past that I'm arrogant, but I disagreed. I'd say confident. And there was nothing wrong with confidence. After all, there has been a stigma around that word. Doesn't it come from a sense of insecurity, the need to tear successful people down because you're afraid to strive towards your goals?
I deserved to feel this successful, for all those times I was laughed at and ridiculed. I look down on all those assholes and let them know that I made it.
I posed for pictures as I held my award, knowing they would be everywhere the next day; in the papers, magazines, the Internet.
This wasn't the first award I had received. I had a shelf full back home, along with all of my past badges. They reminded me that, once upon a time, I was just any other office worker with her yellow badge. And now here I was, the director of the project with my black badge working closely with the government.
I got off the stage and moved back to my chair. Jujubee rolled her eyes, but her smile remained.
"Where's the after-party?" I asked as the audience shifted their attention from me.
Sometimes I never understood how she put up with me. "Don't worry. I got us covered."
She wasn't lying. A few hours later, we were in the apartment of some other rich somebody. Music was bouncing off the walls, the speakers apparently on full blast.
The main lights were out, replaced with multicoloured LEDs dancing around the place. It was as if we were in our own private club.
Jujubee and I were in the crowd dancing, but because I was absolutely wasted, I lost her many times.
No need to panic, however. Jujubee wasn't a drinker. So she'd find me. She always did.
I really did feel sorry that she had to deal with all of my shenanigans.
"Juju, where the fuck are you??" I roared, not that it would do much. Midsummer Madness by 88RISING was blaring now. Starting to stress out now.
I grabbed a champagne flute as a waiter walked by.
"Brianna, I love the dress." A woman leaned over and shouted in my ear. I had met her before at another event, a fashion reporter if I remembered correctly.
"Thanks. It's Versaci."
As I said earlier, it was fucking Alexander McQueen. I was faded.
Somehow I ended up in the bathroom, throwing up all the alcohol I had consumed into the toilet. After I finished, I washed my mouth out, looked at my reflection and said, "Baby, you're a star."
And somehow, I made it back downstairs. I was searching for Jujubee but found someone else instead. And it was fucking Ed Sheeran.
"I love your new song." I lied.
"Which one?"
"The new one." I smiled. "Hey, Ed. You wanna be the first person to go through the portal?" I wrapped an arm around him.
He looked absolutely taken aback. "Of fucking course. My manager will be in touch."
I really hoped he was joking. Why the fuck had I even suggested it?
I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was Jujubee. My nerves settled, and I leaned closer to her. "Let's go outside."
I had no recollection of making it out to the balcony. The only thing I remembered happening before then was rambling to many strangers about how much I adored Jujubee.
A few other party attendees were outside too. I wanted to tell them how I didn't deserve Jujubee and that she was an angel. But she quickly steered me away.
I looked out over the city, a happy smile on my face.
"Are you having fun, baby girl?" Jujubee asked, using her favourite pet name for me. She sparked up a cigarette. I wanted to ask her for one, having gone from chain smoker to social smoker in recent years. But I was too distracted by the view.
"Yeah. I can feel it, Juju." I replied, looking at my hands. It was almost like I could actually feel it. The euphoric feeling of success running in my veins. "Good things are coming."
"Oh, I feel it too." Jujubee blew out the smoke and followed my gaze. "You know what? Your Grandpa was a great guy. And I know that he's proud of you."
My smile dropped. And I was silent.
I preferred to avoid speaking about things like this. Emotions weren't something I liked to deal with - another difference between Jujubee and me.
Just the year prior, we both went to see Midsommar. During the scene where the main character is having a breakdown on the ground surrounded by the Hargan woman screaming along with her, Jujubee was captivated. She looked almost like she wanted to scream along with them. And as she squeezed my hand and leaned over to me, she said, "I need someone to do that with me." I replied with a quiet, "Can't relate."
I'm not insensitive. I just feared emotions for two reasons.
1. They could be weaponised against me. And as much as I tried not to let the online hate get to me, I knew that if it ever became personal, then it would hit difficult.
2. The most important reason of all; a childhood full of breakdowns and too many emotions.
Jujubee nudged me. "You wanna go?"
I didn't want to. But I said, "Yeah. I'm...so drunk right now," and turned away from the city view.
"Can I be that annoying whore and ask if I can stay at your place?" Jujubee asked, taking my hand.
She didn't even need a reason. "Yes, you can."
We waded our way through the crowd, made for the door and left. And before I knew it, we were back at my place, lying in my bed. I loaned her a t-shirt to sleep in. I wanted to sleep in my Alexander McQueen. But Jujubee wouldn't let me.
We both lay there, facing the ceiling. I could already feel the oncoming suffering. Usually, I loved moments like these, when time became fluid, when I didn't have to worry about how I had even gotten home.
But my head was pounding, and the loud ringing in my ears was the cause. If I was bad now, I'd be dead by morning.
I could feel Jujubee's eyes on me, and I looked back at her. She was smiling, her brown eyes glimmering. "Almost there, girl."
Despite the pain I was in, I smiled back. I knew this whole thing, the thingy, the portal; it wasn't just my dream. It was hers too.
Fuck, I was hammered.
"Almost there," was all I could manage to say.
Jujubee turned on her side and treated me to some cuddly spooning. "OK, go to sleep, loser."
It was straining on my neck, but I kept my head turned, letting my eyes linger for a moment longer. God, I fucking loved that bitch. Nothing was ever going to come between us, and that made me the happiest.
I turned over, my back relaxing against her torso. Then, before giving in to my exhaustion, I checked my phone. The bright light made me squint at first. And the alcohol in my system didn't help matters.
I checked how many people had seen my story now. The number was blurry. So I aimlessly swiped notifications away.
But I stopped at one message in particular.
Blair: Hey Brianna! Long time no speak. I just wanted to say I saw pictures from your thing tonight. Congrats, girl! Look, I know you're probably super busy, but I'd love to have a catch up with you sometime.
"..." My eyes were wide. Now that was a name I hadn't heard in a long time.
1995
"Do you see Cassiopeia yet?" Juju whined.
I was trying my hardest to find it in the telescope. But the stars were all in clutters; there were so many. "No. I think I see the big dipper, though."
"Really? Let me have a turn!" Juju begged.
I pulled away from the telescope, allowing Juju her turn. Usually, I would have refused, only letting her use the scope after finding what I was looking for.
I really hadn't found the big dipper, but Juju bought it. "Wooooow. That's so cool."
"I know, right?" I smirked.
The backdoor opened, and Grandpa came out in his winter jacket, pj's and his signature slippers. "How many have you girls found now?"
He was carrying two mugs of hot chocolate with whipped cream. I cheered excitedly because Grandpa's hot chocolate was the best, and I'd fight anyone who tried to tell me otherwise.
"We found the big dipper. But that's it." Juju replied, sounding very much let down.
"Don't lose hope," Grandpa gave us our hot chocolate, "some are harder to find than others. I bet there are a lot more constellations out there that haven't even been discovered yet."
I sipped the hot drink, and I could feel it already warming me up. I was so tempted to take my gloves off and let the mug warm them up. But we promised my Mom we would stay wrapped up. "Do you think we could discover one?"
Grandpa took a seat on one of the old deck chairs. "Brianna, you can do anything you set your mind to. Anything is possible."
"One day, I wanna get into a rocket ship and fly away," I said, looking up at the night sky, imagining the scene in my head.
"Hey, Mr Caldwell, are there other people like us? Just looking up at the sky?" Juju asked, taking a sip of her hot chocolate.
"That's an interesting question. I'd say yes, what with how nice the sky is tonight," Grandpa let his gaze trail up, the stars reflecting in his eyes, "But did you know, somewhere far, far away, there are two little girls who are exactly like you. They look the same, they talk the same and even have your names. And they are doing exactly what you're doing right now."
My brows knit in confusion, "what do you mean 'far far away?"
Grandpa looked down again, seeing how intrigued Juju and I was. "Let's just call it the other world. It's basically like our world, but...certain things are different. Like," he paused to think, "maybe cats bark and dogs meow. Or, maybe the sky is pink and not blue. Maybe you girls are actually older, and I'm the young one."
"Do horseys fly in the other world?" Juju asked with much optimism.
"Probably. I don't see why not." Grandpa shrugged.
I glanced up at the sky as if I would somehow just see it. Another world where life was somewhat better.
"Would my Mommy and Daddy have given me up in the other world?" I asked quietly.
Grandpa was silent. His lips were pursed, forming a tight line like there were words on the tip of his tongue that he knew he shouldn't say.
Juju hugged me from the side. I wanted to hug her back but didn't want to cry.
Her hold made me feel safe, so I offered her a half-smile.
Since my first day at school, when those cretins had tried to tell me Roberta wasn't my real Mom, it stuck with me. Yeah, I knew deep down those girls didn't know shit, and Roberta was the best Mother in the world, but I was only human.
As much as I loved my Mom, Grandpa and other family members, I just wanted to feel acceptance from my biological parents.
"Brianna, honey, whoever your family is in the other world, I'm sure they love you from the bottom of their hearts. Just like we do." Grandpa said. He extended his arms out, offering me a hug.
I didn't want it. But I knew I needed it.
That night, we didn't find any constellations. Not that it mattered. After my Grandpa went back inside, Juju and I were set on finding the other world instead.
And this interest went on for nearly a whole year.
It sounded dumb, but we would play games where we were our 'other world selves'. Juju lived in a house full of cats, and they were 'cutest cats in the whole country. So cute they won every pageant!'
And I lived in a huge mansion with my Mom, Grandpa, and my biological parents.
We collectively agreed that our other world selves were the prettiest girls in school, and we had tons of friends. We were so cool, we didn't even have to go to school.
Of course, this started a minor argument between us. Juju would always say, "how can we be the prettiest girls at school if we don't have to go to school??"
"Shut up, Juju! Anything is possible in the other world!"
"Yeah, but it doesn't make sense!"
All of it was so ridiculous. But we loved every minute of it.
I'll never forget the time we built a fort in the woods at the back of my house, and Juju stood under the archway and shouted. "I'm the queen of 'Other World'. Beware ye bastards who enter our domain!"
Then she got upset because she said a bad word and thought she had betrayed her parents.
A few minutes later, I fucked up.
"I, Brianna Caldwell, am the Queen of 'Other World'. I sit on this throne along with my best friend, Blair St Clair!"
Juju was even more upset now.
"Why is she your best friend?? I'm your best friend!" She began to cry.
"Jujubee, it's only pretend." I tried to reason with her.
"No, Brie-Brie. You're always talking about Blair! I know you would rather be best friends with her than me!"
"That's not true!"
"It is!" She wept. "She'll never be your friend, Brie-Brie. She doesn't even like you."
"Take that back!"
"No!"
My anger was bubbling beyond the boiling point. So I shoved her over. "Go away. Now!"
Juju ran off crying.
My teeth were grit, my fists clenched. For about 5 minutes, I stormed around the fort, screaming in anger and kicking the ground.
Mom was freaked out. She knew it was me screaming, so she came running. When she found me, she shouted at me for scaring the absolute fuck out of her.
This only pissed me off more. It took her 5 minutes to get me to chill out.
When I finally explained what happened, she told me it was OK and that we'd be friends again the next day.
It didn't help my mood, so she took me to the mall. It was a rare occasion for us to visit the place. We weren't the richest, what with Mom struggling to keep a job. She wasn't a lousy worker; someone else would just come along who was much more experienced. And without another parental figure to help out, it just meant not much money was being brought into the house.
But Mom decided we'd go to the toy store, and I'd find two dolls, one for me and one for Juju. I made sure they looked exactly like us. Well, considering the nice clothes and great hair, they were our other-selves.
And leaving the building, I was perched on Mom's shoulders, eating the biggest ice cream cone I had ever gotten, when I looked over at the jewellery shop. Two women were leaving the store, holding hands. They leaned in close to each other and kissed.
I just...stared as they smiled at each other, mesmerised by the adoration they so clearly shared.
"Mommy?"
"Yes, Brianna, baby?"
"Why are those two ladies kissing?"
Mom cast a quick glance to where I was looking. "Oh. OK, first of all, don't stare. It's rude. But yeah, they're just two ladies in love with each other. That's all."
I looked away, just as she told me to do. "They're in love? I thought only boys and girls could be in love."
"I guess they're still telling you that in school, huh?" Mom quipped. "Well, I'll tell you this, but keep it on the down-low 'cause I don't want no parents coming and knocking on my door saying you're putting ideas into their kids' heads." She laughed. "The truth is; boys can fall in love with boys, and girls can fall in love with girls. You fall in love with whoever your heart tells you to, Brianna."
I nodded. "Uh, huh. OK, I understand." But then, it hit me. "Fuck."
"Brianna." Mom warned. She knew I was prone to sometimes spurting a few cuss words. But she only had herself to blame.
"Sorry, Mommy." And as we left the mall, my brain couldn't stop thinking about what had popped into my head.
Maybe, just maybe, I was in love with Blair.
My mind was taking me back to years prior, still in my first year of elementary school. It was coming up to Valentine's Day, and we all had to make a card for someone in the class. Bit of a weird activity for a bunch of kids who were more concerned if they were getting bikes for Christmas or not.
And I slaved over my card, making it yellow instead of the traditional pink colour, and drawing daisies all over it.
The message read, "You really deserve this. You're welcome." I've always been a poetic genius.
And instead of giving it to any of the boys, I insisted it went to Blair.
I had vague memories of that day. I only remembered her confused face as I handed it over.
I never received a card in return.
Of course, the other kids picked on me for it. But Juju had my back.
"You're all just jealous 'cause Brie-Brie's card is unique!" I remember her shouting.
But of course, they weren't jealous. This concept was foreign to them - a girl gifting another girl with a Valentine's Day gift. But then again, they just didn't know any better.
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rootiebaga · 4 years ago
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nobody asked, i know, but heres my departments thus far! (with nicknames, of course)
note! i do use mods, one of them being the ultimate fashion corp mod from reddit, a mod that lets you keep your employees after you reset a run, and some other useful ones
also its under the cut because uh- long
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control team! (aka the OGS! (because control team is the first department people unlock when starting a run))
morty (former employee)
-may the brave fool rest, gone, but not forgotten.
rootieee (captain)
-its, its my self insert what do i have to sa
paul
-the most boring in the facility (and the most sane one in the department,)
-just wants to do his job correctly.
-not much to say about him, really
maxim (morty’s replacement after he died, rest in piece morty, you were a brave hero, yet a little dumb after trying to fight a green dawn in the early runs i had)
-morty’s big bro, a little sad that morty died but he didn’t know all that much in the facility,
-takes his job too seriously
-usually chills in the main room alot,
shao
-an absolutely innocent baby, even if they some horrifying abnormalities, they would still think of them as cute
-just, likes being here, many friends for them!
-they also like hugs!
igoree (rip)
-the sleepy employee has come back! wowie
-still sleepy and also hungry,
-the one who doesn’t work all that much
-..”how did she.. die? did she just want to? what in the world happened there? is it because of that behaviour adjustment thing?”
“just forget about it and keep working,”
“but, paul im curious-”
“quiet.”
eden
-woooooo returning!
-one of the calmest people in the department
-probably wouldn’t even be phased by the effect [CENSORED] gives her if we had it
“hey uh, eden? i got something to tell you..”
“go on shao,”
“didn’t... something happen to you? h-how are you even-”
“hey hey, dont worry about that! just, make sure you stay safe, alright?”
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information team! (aka the threeks! (named by tom, who is dead, an idiot, and couldn’t count))
tom (dead)
-an idiot
-okay moving on
ryn
-the only one with aleph gear, seriously (edit (draft edition): hes the first one with aleph gear after i got nothing there’s gear, the second being daniel)
-chill once you get to know him,
-likes protecting others with his gear, since, you know
mason
-usually anxious, he doesn’t mean to be though!
-”alright calm down.. never mind this is not the time to calm dOW-”
-probably likes ryn??
eugene
-a little bit crazy, yet kind nonetheless! 
-hi
-just wants some friends, unfortunately not many people are willing to befriend her due to her kinda crazy nature
-basically someone who cares for everyone in the facility, y e e
(also whats known as a “bow kinnie” to the control team captain) /j
emma
-looks really kind until you try to talk to her, shes an asshole is what im trying to say
-likes to bite things with the sharp teeth she has, because why not
-absolute chaos
ray
-i dont know why she exists, shes just there
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safety team! (aka the wind wielders (named by isabel, cause he likes flutes))
isabel
-brother of gregory
-the second innocent bean,,
-likes playing the flute whenever hes done for the day
-i accidentally gave him crumbling armour’s gift
gregory
-brother of isabel
-prefers acting over playing instruments,
-a bit more serious,
neville (prefers nelville)
-an absolutely tired employee, they just like waiting till everyone is done for the day to go home
-they’d be at home if they weren’t forced by their friend to work here
-hates everything right now
ramirez
-the joyful friend
-wanted to work here because of the people here, so many unique faces!
-likes all things unique, she usually loves trying different things that look nothing alike from the things she tried before
khanna
-the mute employee in the facility, uses notes to communicate
-another sane one, yet still kinda nervous
-a bean
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training team! (aka “nobody here is fine” (named for the fact that almost everyone is very nervous, and then we got firenze))
hana
-the one thats sad most of the time
-really helpful for when it comes to working on abnormalities!
-gregory has a crush on them (why would you say tha)
sobin
-before you think of him as edgy, hes not all that edgy personality wise, he just likes the aesthetic
-hes just a really chill and friendly dude
-yes, he can see more with the e.g.o outfit hes wearing, it is pretty strange to him though
firenze
-the narcissist, he really thinks hes the king of this department
-hes wrong its actually hana thats the captain of this department
-nobody likes him
daniel
-actually used to be a clerk! the face was a little different then before but hey, thats fine
-the third pure bean
-hes a really good friend to have!
susan
-what can i say about her?
-well i mean
-shes susan
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central command team! (aka where is everyone? (due to there being not many agents here))
geminiano
-the most sane one in the facility (while being the dead inside captain)
-really good when it comes to tech
-”oh sh** did anyone check on mika?”
charlotte
-the bald employee, doesn’t mind being bald, that just means she can take care of the “your bald” abnormality
-”ignore the second mouth i got on my armour, please”
-plays vibe games on roblox
mika
-absolutely. chill
-doesn’t know where he’s going most of the time
-the one that works on child of galaxy everytime
gimtteol
-really bad sight, she doesn’t mind it
-kalm
-nobody can spell her name right
arang (prefers ayang)
-you thought sobin was the edgelord huh? think again
-easily annoyed.
-also was a clerk before
john
-the newbie!
-hes trying okay?
-hes still a little nervous but thats fine!
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disciplinary team! (aka f**k (also nicknamed “why do we have red” due to me choosing little red riding hooded mercenary every run where theres disciplinary))
ara
-angy
-another person that takes their job way too seriously but doesn’t mean to
-not really that rude sometimes, but most of the time she can be a bit of an asshole, probably because of something that happened in the past, nobody wants to talk about it though
-lesbian
camille
-has a slightly torn snake tongue, it makes them not able to speak, they mostly make noises like growling,
-nobody knows why their like this, they just are, but dont be afraid to talk to them if you need anything! they usually write what their trying to say
-the expert, especially at finding things, even if they cant speak
tim
-another returning employee! wooooo
-still dead inside, but feeling a little bit better!
-might be the oldest out of everyone
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welfare team! (aka “sleep tight” (nobody knows why its called that)
space
-very calm, most of the time doesn’t mind anything, but still does get a little nervous at times
-nobody knows why her eyes are always closed, (ara specified that her eyes look like a galaxy that can only be opened for a couple of seconds because if she opens them for more than a few seconds they’ll start to glitch, when others see it happening, it looks like the galaxy is becoming more like an image other than a real galaxy, parts of the galaxy become misplaced and reverted back to their original place quickly repeatedly (kinda like the select thing in paint, usually in the shape of the rectangular selection though) and parts of the galaxy turn into static and back very quickly and repeatedly. we she sees it happening her vision becomes the same as how other people see the galaxy when it starts glitching, randomly shifting from original place to different place, or from static back to normal, some ominous, glitchy sounds have been heard when this is happening aswell, (i thought of this because of a small dream(?) i had when i was in a certain state of almost about to fall asleep, maybe i was napping i dont really know, it was a strange dream, i dont remember much of it which is expected, i think it was something about discord and some sort of strange thing that had a little timer on it, and after it was done the thing it was in started glitching, the background it was in and even the button that used to be the timer was glitching, i heard some sounds that were glitching a little (it looked like those screens you see when someone’s streaming something on there,) and then i woke up, yeah kinda weird,)
-like eugene, cares for everyone! especially ara, since space herself is the one who helps ara through tough times
courtney
-gets bored alot, just wants to work on the difficult abnormalities
-really snarky
johnson
-a smartass
-yet still a little friendly if they trust you
-i’ll upgrade them soon dont worry (i have upgraded them/him dont worry)
,
woop!
i’ll probably update this soon, but in the meantime have this, sorry for being dead lately, on both this and my sideblog
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imagine-that-one-thing · 5 years ago
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Her Majesty. || 5
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Against All Odds.
The morning of the Royal Ascot has been nothing short of chaotic, between dress changes and carriage rotations, everyone has been a mess, especially Harry. Every year, the Royal Ascot tests his abilities and how well he can handle change. He hates the Royal Ascot, and he has reason to hate it so much. With every public outing there are revised plans that he has to go through, he has to know every entry, every exit, every underground area, he has to know every plan like the back of his hand. He has to be on high alert and if one plan changes even slightly, they all change and it sends security into a whirlwind of anxiousness. Every minute of the event is generally planned, from when and where the carriages arrive, to how long we spend greeting people. 
Over 300,000 people make the annual visit to Berkshire during Royal Ascot week, that is over 300,000 people Harry has the privilege of scanning and observing, it is much harder to take note of things when there are too many people to have to notice. But, every year, Harry manages and the rest of security manage to make things work. 
I shuffle out of my bedroom and I glance to my left where Harry is standing, like he always is, his hands behind his back, his lips pressed into a fine line, and his clothing attire being of which he always sports to events— suit and tie. 
He stares at me and smirks softly, “You look beautiful, as always,” He whispers sweetly, causing the butterflies in the pit of my stomach to arise. “Absolutely beautiful,” He adds, his hand grazing the edge of my white Reiss Peacock dress.
I nod my head, giving him a meagre smile as my maids step out of my bedroom, not giving me a chance to speak to Harry or to steal a kiss from him. 
Harry escorts me down the stairs and when I reach the bottom. I frown for a moment, unsure of why my Prince is not waiting for me. I gaze over at Harry and he smirks, continuing to walk with me across the marble flooring and through the palace to the exit door. 
Harry and I step outside into the cool air of the morning summer, there’s barely a cloud in the sky, the birds are chirping—  it is the perfect day for the Royal Ascot. “Why are you smirking? Where is Henry?” I softly question, curious as to where my fake boyfriend is. A real gentleman and Prince would have been waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs instead of having my bodyguard escort me down. 
Harry holds his composure, continuing to silently escort me along the path of the gardens before we stop in the private driveway. I stand for a minute, my head cocking to the side as I stand before Henry, my Father and what I presume to be a thoroughbred. 
Harry unlinks his arm from mine and resumes his position behind me. “Good morning, Princess,” Henry greets, his hand holding a lead rope as the horse stands tall, not moving in the slightest. 
“Good morning,” I respond, “Why is there a horse right here?” I challenge my Father. I don’t suspect that now is the perfect time to want to play with horses. 
My father smiles broadly and places his hand gingerly on the horse, petting it ever so delicately, “Prince Henry bought you a horse, how thoughtful.” 
“You bought me a horse?” I question, gazing towards the prince. 
I hear Harry stifle a laugh from behind me, “How thoughtful,” Harry pipes in as I stare at the two men in front of me, hopeful this is a joke. 
I may be royal, but I do not do horses. I am not an equestrian. It is a royal tradition for royals to learn how to ride, however, I am the exception to the rule. Growing up, my parents’ would put me on horses, I could ride around accompanied by a parent, but to ride alone, I could never do it. I never trusted the horses enough to be able to saddle one up and go for a leisurely ride on my own. After the first few panic attacks and fits, my mother convinced my father to let it go and to allow me to stick to things that were more up my alley. I am the only royal who cannot ride a horse, everyone else is well trained, which means I tend to watch the polo matches from the sidelines while my father participates. Every now and again, the King and Queen will ride around Windsor Castle estate, but I do not participate in their morning rides. 
My mother loves horses, when she does not have royal duties, she can usually be found at the stables watching her horses train or she is participating in the training herself. 
“Father, you know I do not ride,” I inform my father who is conscious of my lack of riding abilities. 
“You will have to learn, a Queen must know how to ride, come here and take the lead rope, we can walk her to the stables.” 
My heart begins to beat fast at the simple idea of stepping any closer to the horse who is far from a Shetland pony. 
“Your Royal Highness, Princess Anastasia needs to be heading towards the procession, as do you, you are presenting the winning trophies in the King's Stand Stakes, don’t forget,” Harry informs the King of the fact he is currently cutting that fine line and about to ruin the schedules that have been set. 
For once, Harry’s set times are a blessing in disguise. 
My Father looks down at his watch and nods his head, “Take Anastasia and Henry,” My father instructs, taking the lead rope from Henry and beginning to walk the horse himself. 
Henry steps closer to me with a bright smile, he takes my hand as he glares towards Harry. For a moment, I hold my breath, feeling the overpowering testosterone rising between the three of us. Harry doesn’t say a word, instead, he gestures his hand for us to walk in front of him.
My heels sound against the concrete as we make our way towards the white horses and carriages that will accompany us to the track promptly by 2 pm. Each day of the week begins with the Royal Procession, when The King, Queen and accompanying Members of the Royal Family arrive along the track in horse-drawn landaus. We then spend the day watching the races from the Royal Enclosure. It’s always intriguing to walk alongside the carriages and to see who is riding with who. Most of the time, the lineup is picked for media attention, hence why my father ordered for Henry to be in the carriage with me, usually, I sit alone and across from me is usually a royal couple. 
I mentally roll my eyes when we stop at the second Royal Carriage that is accompanied by Annabel, Duchess of Wessex, and Prince Louis. 
Prince Louis and I grew up together, we always played on the grounds of the palace and we’d spend hours chasing each other around the gardens. We always kept security on their toes, and things didn’t change until he met his duchess. She holds no high title by blood but she tries to act like her title is rightfully hers. She’s what I like to call a stuck up royal. She and I have never seen eye to eye since the moment we met, and we probably never will see eye to eye until the day we die. 
I stand politely, awaiting for Prince Henry to assist me with stepping up into the carriage, but he forgets his manners and etiquette and instead hops up himself, taking a seat as if I am not standing here. Without sounding too much like a princess, I am baffled and quite appalled by his lack of nobility. The lady ALWAYS enters the carriage first, there is no exception, it is common cutesy. 
“Princess,” Harry offers his hand, offering me a sweet smile. I press my hand in his and he assists with getting me in the carriage, of course, without the help of Henry who is too busy adjusting his tophat. Harry nods his head towards Louis and his partner before he impolitely places an umbrella in the lap of Henry, “Hold this for Princess Anastasia.” Harry instructs before closing the carriage door, leaving Henry irritated. 
Prince Louis is kind enough to introduce himself to Henry, taking control of the situation and calming Henry by taking the Umbrella and placing it to rest against the carriage door.
I’m not much of a fan of the horse races in the aspect of having to be a Royal and treat this as an event, there are eyes always on me and I still have to act in a certain manner. I can thank Queen Anne for turning horse races into a royal activity. Ascot Racecourse was founded in 1711 by Queen Anne and ever since has been a major event that royals attend. 
The Royal enclosure, however, is quite lovely. The Royal Enclosure was built in 1822 when King George IV commissioned a two-storey stand to be built with the surrounding lawn. This was designated an exclusive area with access strictly by invitation of the King. To this day, membership to the Royal Enclosure continues to be by invitation only. Every individual who has a membership and will be in the Enclosure is monitored and a background check is thoroughly run. Harry knows of every person who will be in the enclosure and he has to watch their behaviour. He hates it just as much as he hates being out in the public areas, but the good thing is that being invited to the Royal Enclosure is hard. To get in without a direct invitation, one must sign up, which is easy, but what the hard part is providing letters of recommendation from two existing Royal Enclosure members who have themselves been members in good standing for a minimum of four years— this is where Harry’s job gets a little easier, for the most part, new entries don’t happen often. The only thing Harry enjoys about this event has nothing to do with the horses, he isn’t formally allowed to bet since he is on duty, but he likes to bet on the colour of Her Majesty’s hat. It is a tradition that people bet on what colour they believe my mother will wear, and it is such a big deal that not even I know what colour my mother’s hat is until I see her in the morning and sometimes she will change hats before arriving at the venue. 
Henry stands beside me, rambling on about his knowledge of horses and trainers, and I cock my head to the side with a meagre smirk, keen to put his expertise to the test. “Well, bet on a horse,” I motion towards the betting stations set up. If he is so great with horses and knows the trainers, he will be able to pick a winning horse. 
Henry nods his head and lifts his shoulders into a shrug confidentially, almost as if he is shrugging me off, “How much are you betting?” 
I grow withdrawn for a moment, unsure of how much to bet, I am not much of a better, to be quite honest, Harry and I place very diminutive bets between us just as jokes, we tend to bet on the horse with the least odds and chuckle to ourselves when they are the last to finish— we like to take a chance on the least favourite of odds. “What? Too scared to bet? I’ll give you money to bet.” Henry nudges me and I find him to be a bit arrogant and not playful. 
I offer him a polite smile, “Two-thousand,” I respond, “How about you?” I challenge. 
Henry adjusts his suit jacket and scoffs, “Twenty-thousand, go big or go home, sweetheart,” Henry uses a condescending and impudent tone with me. I don’t need to turn around to know Harry is far from impressed and more than likely has his fist curled into a ball, angered by the tone that has been used on me. 
I gesture towards the betting station and I allow Henry to wander off while I stand in the same position. I clear my throat as Harry steps closer, closing the small gap behind me. “Are you betting?” I question softly as I glance over my shoulder. 
“Mhm,” Harry hums, “I love you,” he manages to whisper just for us to hear as nobody is around us. 
I smile to myself and I turn around to face him and I mouth I love you back to him as I point towards the betting station. We both walk towards the betting station and Henry steps closer to me with a smug grin, his ticket in his hand. “So, which horse are you betting on?” 
I shrug my shoulders, unsure of which horse to pick as I have said, I have always betted for the fun of it and chosen the least likely to win horse. As Henry continues to stare at me with that self-righteous grin that irritates me, I turn to Harry, “Suggestions?” 
Harry narrows his eyes on me and I bite my lip— I have stepped out of line— I was not meant to turn to him and bring him into this. Harry shakes his head, “I cannot participate.” His participation in betting is meant to be kept between him and me. 
“Of course you can, mate, it’s jus’ for fun,” Henry pipes in, pressing his hand to Harry’s shoulder as if they are best mates. 
Harry eyes Henry, his jaw clenching at the touch of Henry but Harry holds his composure and forces a small smile as he clears his throat, “If I was to bet, I would try my luck with horse number eight.” Harry informs me. 
I glance at the odds and I take a chance on what Harry suggests, Afterall, it doesn’t really matter if I win or lose, this is all for entertainment and an endeavour to hopefully kill Henry’s ego. 
“Well, place yourself a bet,” Henry signals between Harry and the betting station as I step to the side, managing to take Harry’s side. 
“Put me down for one-hundred pounds on horse eight, please,” Harry instructs as he continues to keep his eyes shifting, still doing his job and not letting his guard down. 
Henry laughs, “That all? The Palace not pay you well?” Henry questions and I shake my head at him, disappointed. 
A prince should not act in such manner nor should a prince ever speak down to someone, especially when it comes to wealth. It is none of Henry’s business how much Harry earns or cares to spend. I am not sure what has gotten into Henry, but he is lacking royal etiquette and he is lacking human decency. My Father would be appalled to know the man he chose to be my boyfriend, the man he wants to see as the King beside me, is currently being condescending not just to myself but to others as well. 
Harry clears his throat before raising a brow, “Make that ten-thousand,” Harry ups his bet, taking us all by surprise, especially me. 
The lady holds the ticket out and Harry gestures for me to take it, he can’t step any closer than he already is, if he does, he breaches his defences and he puts me at risk because his back will be entirely turned and he no longer has a view of everyone. I take the ticket between my fingers and I smile towards Henry, “Well, may the best horse win, let’s go get our spot,” I smile, ready to finally take a moment to sit down for a moment while they prepare for the last race of the day. 
I sit and watch as the horses are walked along the track, making their way to the gates where they will be tested with how well they handle the commotion of everything. 
Moments later, all horses are situated and the gates open; the horses are off and the crowd cheers.
The horses reach the last three- hundred meters and I watch in awe as the horses compete, two of them neck and neck as the finish line gets closer and closer. I bite my lip nervously, my foot tapping as the excitement and joy flow through my veins, I can hear the enthusiasm of others getting louder, cheers exasperating as the horses continue to run. 
I glance over at Harry as he is standing beside me, his lips curving up into a grin as he takes a moment to watch the race, catching the last few moments. I look back to the track and I am left stunned, jaw-dropped, you could say. The two horses that were neck and neck have fallen behind and a new leader takes over the position of first place. I gasp, my heart beats faster while the horse Harry and I picked takes the lead and puts a fair distance between the other horses. 
“Oh, my,” I breathe out while Henry attempts to cheer his horse that is struggling to keep its position of fourth place. 
I do my best to hold my composure as our horse reaches the finish line.
Harry picked the winning horse, he put Henry to shame and managed to kill his high strung ego. 
“You won,” I happily exclaim, nudging Harry as he stands, looking unamused due to his job, but deep down, I know very well and good he is pleased with himself. 
Harry shakes his head, “I believe it is you who won, you have the ticket,” Harry winks just as Henry throws his ticket up in the air dramatically. 
“Bloody horse,” Henry utters with a huff. “And it was a Filly I lost to.”
I smile graciously and tenderly nudge Henry in a playful manner, “Look’s like the best horse won, huh,” I chuckle, “It’s okay, what happens on the track, stays on the track. Even if you did lose to a girl.” 
Henry glares at me and I notice his jaw clench, and it is in this moment I realise he isn’t being playful and that he is taking this seriously. He shakes his head at me and steps away, “Henry,” I call but he ignores me, he hurries away and loses himself in the crowd of others before I can manage to bat an eye. 
I look towards Harry, unsure of what just happened. Harry doesn’t say a word, instead, he stays in bodyguard mode, simply watching the people around us and keeping a close eye on the particular small crowd in front of us on the track. 
I am unsure whether I am meant to chase after Henry or whether I am meant to let him go. I am not one to chase, especially when I am not in love with the man and by the looks of things and by how he is acting today, he isn’t remotely in love nor interested in me. He is self-absorbed and he has shone an unsatisfactory light on himself in public. With so many eyes being on us, there has to be at least one person who saw what happened and is willing to report it to the media. This isn’t the kind of publicity that we want or need. 
I gaze towards Harry, looking for some sort of guidance. I see Harry roll his eyes before he sighs heavily, “Do I really have to do damage control?” He questions and I nod my head, narrowing my eyes onto him. I can tell he doesn’t want to do damage control, he couldn’t care less about Henry and he hates the fact that Henry is currently on his service as well. Harry tilts his head to his left shoulder slightly, “Horse Boy has galloped off, trotting south of my location.”
I raise a brow at the code-name selected for Henry, I am well-aware Harry had to have chosen it. The alternative names given are used over secure networks so that bodyguards can ensure that he will be able to move the royal family members in and out of specific locations. Code-names change on a basis so that nobody catches who is linked to each name. “Horse boy, really?” I challenge Harry.
Harry lifts his shoulders into a small shrug, doing his best to conceal the smirk painting across his lips, “Let’s go. He is heading to the stables.” Harry instructs, gesturing for me to head in the same direction that Henry took off running in. I pick up the umbrella that we have been carrying around all day before I make my way along the path of Harry’s directions. 
Harry and I attempt to locate Henry, but it is a struggle when I am stopped every few steps to talk to other royals on their way out or to simply smile for a camera. The last race has ended, which means everyone is beginning to make their way out, just as I should be, but instead, Harry and I are trying to get to the stables to where Harry assumes Henry has run off too. 
It is beyond me on how my father managed to pick such an ill-fitting prince to be my partner. I am starting to wish I had of had my say and picked myself, better still, I should have come clean about the relationship between Harry and I. But, at the end of the day, I know that our relationship will not be accepted. If only people placed their bets on us, even with the odds against us, instead, people prefer to place their bets on the more superior. I always go against the odds but right now, the odds are against me, therefore, I am against myself. 
I feel a droplet of rain grace my skin, I look up and notice the ominous clouds forming over us, making their way across the sky in a swift manner. I open my umbrella and I step off the gravel path. I walk along the grass, attempting to reach the very edge of the fence where horses are just now starting to make their way to the stables. 
I carry the umbrella over my head, the rain coming down heavily, patting the umbrella brutally but creating a moderately calming tone. If I had been told that my day would have ended in a Prince acting like a child and running off, leaving me in the rain unsure of where he is, I would have laughed. I never expected to see a grown man throw a temper tantrum, especially in public. 
I welcome a hand press over mine, “Allow me,” Harry instructs, taking the umbrella from my hand. Harry holds the umbrella over me while he stands in the rain and the umbrella shields me from the intense rain.
I turn to face him, “Stand under it with me.”
Harry shakes his head, “I’m not allowed. I will hold the umbrella. A Princess does not hold her own umbrella… Your Prince should be holding it.” 
“He is,” I respond with a small wink before I turn back around and continue walking, the rain coming down heavily on us while we make our way closer to where the horses are stationed and unwinding before they will be transported to their stables.
I glance around, disappointed that the man who is intended to be my boyfriend appears to have disappeared and left me in the downpour to combat the media and the crowds on my own. He was here to serve as a purpose, not only to show his presence as my boyfriend to everyone who wasn’t at the garden party but to also draw attention to a new budding romance that could turn into more. My father needs the media to spark its attention towards us— the monarch is ready to change— my father wants to hand over the reins and pass down the crown but he can’t do so unless the public is on his side and approve of not only me as the queen but my partner. 
“I’m sorry, Anastasia,” Harry distracts me from my thoughts as I observe the horses from a distance being walked around.
I turn to gaze at Harry, facing him as he continues to keep me dry from the rain, meanwhile, he’s wholly soaked. “Why are you sorry?” 
“I’m sorry your Prince left you.” Harry appears sincere and genuine with his apology. 
He and I both know that I am the one who will have to deal with the backlash of whatever Henry has caused on today’s outing. 
I lift my shoulders into a shrug. I don’t have words to say. This isn’t Harry’s fault. This is all my fault. I truly have nobody to blame besides myself. I am the one who is being held to high standards thanks to a monarchy. 
“Why do you look so sad?” 
I look at Harry as he continues to stand in the pouring rain while holding an umbrella over me like a true gentleman, “The odds are against me; the odds are against us, Harry.” 
“It will be okay, Anna.” 
I shake my head, “This is my fault. We don’t know where he went, he could be doing more damage. I-I, I am sorry I didn’t just tell everyone about us.”
“Shh,” Harry hushes me immediately, “We will figure it out. Henry will be fine, right now isn’t the place for this discussion, we are being watched.” Harry informs me and I heavily sigh. 
The worst thing about having my boyfriend as my bodyguard is that sometimes when he is on duty he has to stay strictly as my bodyguard and can’t step into boyfriend mode. 
“I’d like to go home, please,” I inform Harry and he nods his head. 
Harry takes his phone out and makes the calls he needs to in order to assure everything is in order for me to leave promptly and without issues.
Harry escorts me to a blacked-out car with his head of security waiting by the car with an umbrella. Whenever the head of security is waiting for me, it means Harry is handing me off.  
“Matthew will take you to the Palace,” Harry informs me as I step under the head of security’s umbrella, allowing Harry to finally hold the umbrella over his own head despite the fact he is already soaked, his hair is damp and droplets are falling from his soft curls, his white shirt has become slightly see-through I can see the slight outline of his abs as the shirt clings to his body. 
“Why?” 
“You’re right, she does ask a lot of questions,” Matthew chuckles, “He needs to go find Henry, Plus, you said you preferred my service better, I am not as stiff as Harry,” Matthew lightens the mood with a small joke, finally forcing a small chuckle to escape my lips. 
“Finally, she smiles,” Harry grins, “I will come past your wing when I get done.”
I nod my head and I quickly look around to make sure nobody is around to be able to hear me speak. “I love you,” I softly whisper.
“I love you, too,” Harry responds before pressing a kiss to my cheek. “Get in the car. Let’s get you home safely and without a big exit like the garden party.” Harry opens the door, returning to bodyguard mode and gesturing for me to get in the car. 
I get into the car with ease and I rest back against the leather seats, glad to finally be closer to getting home. Today has been long and tiring. 
I view Harry and Matthew talk outside and I watch them intently for a moment, curious as to what they are discussing. I can only assume most of their conversation right now will be revolved around finding Henry. Having a Royal on the loose is not something anybody wants. What I don’t understand is why Henry is so short-fused and why he felt the need to run off like a child who was told he couldn’t have the last slice of pizza. 
As Matthew gets in the driver’s seat of the car, I watch Harry walk off into the distance before the car begins to move. I stare out the window, watching the droplets of rain slide down. 
I lean my head against the window and close my eyes for a moment but I am quickly distracted by the sound of Matthew’s voice. “He loves you, you know?” 
“Harry?” I question, “Did he put you up to this conversation that is about to take place?” 
Matthew chuckles as he looks in his rearview mirror at me, “Am I talking to the Princess or?”
“This is off the record. I am off royal duty.” I respond, assuring Matthew that whatever is said in the car will stay in the car. 
For the most part, conversations between Harry and Matthew are generally off the record. Sometimes they are the only times I get to feel the sense of normality. Everyone else treats me like a princess and always wants to discuss politics, royal duties etc. 
“He’d do anything for you, all you have to do is say the word.” 
“I know,” I nod, “I didn’t think the first public outing would turn out like this. I thought it would be easy to have a fake boyfriend and to let this ride out until I can figure things out. This will be my Dad’s last year as King, what am I meant to do?”
Matthew clears his throat and grows quiet for a moment, his eyes focusing on the wet road as he again begins to drive. “Would you like my honest response?” 
“Have you ever known me to want you to sugarcoat?”
“Anastasia, he wants to marry you, you know that, right?” 
I roll my eyes and scoff, “Yeah, okay.” I know Harry has mentioned it before, but that is only because we learned of the news that they want me to be married before taking over the throne.
“I am serious, he genuinely wants to marry you.”
“Well, he has yet to get on one knee with a ring,” I respond, “I wish things were easier.” 
“Well, things could be easier if you would let Harry handle it. He knows what he is doing, Annastasia, he can handle what he is getting into.” Matthew responds and before I can respond, the phone rings and he answers it, leaving me in the backseat while he drives and continues his phone call. 
The moment I enter the palace, my world is turned upside down and my Father pounces on me like a lion on its weak prey. I can only thank Henry for this. That asshole. 
My father is a great man, for the most part, but when he is angry, he is furious. He can’t always control his temper and that is something the public does not know. The public only see the lower side of his temper, they see the relatively calm and collected King. Me, on the other hand, I get to witness the King at his full capacity of anger and it is far from fun. My father can be relentless, he is like a dog with a bone, which is why he is so good at making foreign deals and running a monarchy, he does not take no for an answer, nor does he take shit from people. Of course, he handles himself in a royal matter but with a hint of dominance. 
My father wastes no time with laying into me, “How many stunts do you anticipate to pull off?” My father questions, his eyes narrowed to crinkled slits, his crimson with fury as he stares me down.
My lips screw into irritation and I take a moment to come to terms with the fact that the King is yelling at me in front of the staff just as I have managed to walk into the palace. “What?” 
“First your stunt at the garden party and now this? Anastasia, I expected more from you.”
“Excuse me? My stunt at the garden party?” I challenge with a raised brow. 
Surely my father cannot be serious right now. 
“You had to be rushed away from fainting at the announcement, I had to do damage control. Then today Henry pulls this stunt all because of you? Why were you so rude to him? He bought you a horse and you thank him by being rude? I raised you better.” 
My brows bump together in a scowl, my body stiffening at the words my father speaks. 
Me? Rude? I think he has me mistaken for Henry. 
I would like to know how this has become my fault. I never wanted Henry as my boyfriend, to begin with, and I never wanted to parade him in public. 
“Do you think I faked fainting, Father? Have you scooped that low? Is the monarch rules so important to you that you are willing to accuse me of such a thing?
“You’re the one who has forced me to this extent. You wouldn’t pick a partner.” 
“Well, you picked an utter asshole to be a partner. Excuse me, I am going to bed before this turns into more of an argument.” I step around my father and begin to make my way to the staircase. 
“We will finish this in the morning,” My Father sneers, “What are you all staring at? Get to work,” He grumbles towards the staff that has gathered near and around us. 
I ignore everything and I make my way up the stairs and to my wing where I shut the door and ignore all the commotion of what is going on. 
I hear the sound of the secret door rattling while I am half asleep, and for a split second, I panic, but quickly come to the realisation it is likely Harry. 
I hold my breath as the door opens and he steps into my room. He is still in his damp clothes, his hair is a mess and I can see he is exhausted. I sit upon my elbows and take a better look at him. His pant legs have grass stains and his button-up is ripped on one of the sleeves. 
Harry shakes his head instantly, “Don’t ask,” Harry mutters, stepping closer and leaning down to kiss my cheek. “Jus’ came to check on you. Heard your Father was quite angry.”
“You already heard about that?” I softly ask.
Harry nods, “The Palace talks quickly, it was the first thing I heard about when I got in the car.”
“Well, I am glad to have amused you and the palace staff.”
Harry sighs, “I didn’t mean it like that. I have some work to do, I will see you in the morning.”
“You’re not staying?” I question. 
Harry shakes his head, “I have more work to do, I am soaked and need to change. Goodnight,” he leans down and kisses my forehead.
Harry walks towards the secret door and I stop him for a moment, “Harry, can I ask something personal?” 
Harry hums his response and turns to look at me, awaiting my question. “Why were you so confident in betting so much money on a horse?” 
Harry grins for a moment and he lifts his shoulders into a meagre shrug, “Sometimes it is good to go against the odds, my darling.”
“I don’t understand.” 
“It is my horse. The odds were mostly against her, but I had faith in her and the jokey, sometimes all it takes is a little faith. I knew what my horse was capable of, others didn’t.” Harry informs me, “Just like I know what we are capable of, others aren’t. I need to go, I love you.” Harry leaves before I can muster up the right words to say. 
The odds are against us but he doesn’t seem to care. He’s willing to take a chance on us, so why can’t I swallow everything and take a chance, too? 
71 notes · View notes
mazojo · 5 years ago
Text
Favorite Sohma’s
Hi yes, uh, I needed a space to rant about fruits basket because I am still very broken so yea
Disclaimer that this is just my opinion and I still love them all very much, just needed to get this out of my system ayee. Also I will include a song that reminds me of them because I am that invested in this so yeaaaa
14- Kagura Sohma
Boy by Little Mix - “I know what you’re worth girl, you know what you got”
I rank Kagura as my least favorite just for the fact that I cant really relate to her I guess? I mean, she is okay, I think she is cute and all but I don't think violence is the way to go about her struggles and she is so much more worth than she gives herself credits for. In the end, I dont think I full understood her big struggle as much as the other characters and thats why she is at number 14, although I want her to be happy and full of love and support like the others ;w;
13- Akito Sohma
My Eyes by Neil Patrick Harris and Felicia Day - “But it’s plain to see, Evil inside of me is on the rise”
Akito is a complicated one for me man. Of course, in the beginning and throughout the manga you learn to really dislike her because she did some terrible things, specially to my baby boi Yuki and eye-.... But then when we learn more about her and everything she has gone through we start sympathizing with her but i..... cant just forget everything she did. I get she was traumatized since she was little, she became dependent on the zodiacs because of her father’s words and mother’s behaviour thus becoming a broken person with this big responsibility she didn't ask for. It really ticks me however, how much pain the others underwent through her, and even though its a healing process, the traumas and everything they suffered is still there which is why I cant place her higher. I do not hate her by any means, but she isnt my favorite person on this list either. I do ship her with Shigure and I think they help each other out, and they grow from the other.
12- Shigure Sohma
Used to the Darkness by Des Rocs - “Now would you pray before you twist the knife? Yeah, would you take my hand and take a life?”
*big sigh* Shigure is also a complicated one for me. It may be my big dumb energies showing but I didnt fully get a grasp on his character? I know he was doing everything for Akito’s sake to liberate from the curse and be with her so she is finally a “woman” but he always acted a bit shady xD?? I would have love to know more about his backstory, we dont get much from his motivations and character other than the perverted aspect and that he loves Akito lmaoo. I do think he is hilarious and I love the dynamic he has with Hatori and Ayame lol
11- Ayame Sohma
Starships by Nicky Minaj - “Starships were menat to fly, Hands up and touch the sky “
To be honest I am pretty neutral about Ayame’s character. He is hilarious and I love how Yuki insults him every tike he gets the chance lolll. I like how throughout the story he tries to change to become a better brother to Yuki and person even though he is pretty extra most of the time about it. He has a good heart and even though he made some mistakes he owns up to them which in my opinion, makes him a good character <33 I love his friendship with Hatori lmaooo they balance each other out sooo well
10- Kureno Sohma
Taking Chances by Celine Dion - “Never knowing if there's solid ground below, Or a hand to hold, or hell to pay”
I really like Kureno! He has gone through quite a bit and he needs a hug. I am sad thinking how most of his life he lead it pretty similarly to Yuki’s, apart from everyone and super enclosed to his relationship with Akito due to him breaking the curse and feeling bad about it. I do wish we would have gotten to know more about his personality and story, if we did I would have definitely ranked him higher! He really reminds me of Tohru’s father and I think Uotani is perfect for him <33 would have love to see more about the two of them and hopefully they expand upon it in the anime
9- Ritsu Sohma
Waving Through a Window by Ben Platt - “On the outside, always looking in, Will I ever be more than I've always been?”
Okay okay so I have a lot of thoughts on Ritsu. Manga Ritsu is okay, I really dont have much of an opinion on him due to him appearing only in a few chapters, I feel like from the Sohma’s, he is the one we get the least information about. But then the anime episode came out where they presented Ritsu and I thought they gave him so much more life and rounded personality where, I get to relate a lot to him? I am someone who is constantly apologizing for absolutely no reason and seeing him be all anxious and stressed about others interactions is big relate to me and I stan. I also think the whole dressing as a woman plot line is better dealt with in the anime and I hope we get to see more about his insecurities and troubles in the future because he is truly a very interesting character! I stan my one (1) anxious monkey.
8- Kisa Sohma
Mean by Taylor Swift - “But you can take me down with just one single blow, But you don't know what you don't know”
Cinnammon rooooooolll. Kisa is such a cutie. I dont have much to say other than my mood every time I think about Kisa is hugging her like Tohru does because she is babyyyy. Also her bullying story is one I think many viewers and readers can relate a lot to and such an important topic I think they covered pretty well and I loveee. Also her and Hiro are one of my favorite ships because they work so well and asdfgh in this household Kisa is a queennn.
7- Isuzu Sohma
Take me Home by Jess Glynne - “Came to you with a broken faith, Gave me more than a hand to hold”
I really like Isuzu!! I am pretty bummed we wont get to meet her in season 1 of the Anime reboot but hopefully in the nest season! She is quite a complex character that I didnt really understand at the beginning but once we see how much she loves Haru and all that she does in order to protect and keep him save she really went up my list. She has gone through so much, from her shattered reality from her parents, Akito threatening Haru, her being locked up withour given any food.... Isuzu is so strong and one of the best build characters in the series and I am super excited to see her in the anime!
6- Hiro Sohma
Time to be a Man by The Airborne Toxic Event - “And it’s time to be a man, Tell me how does that go?”
My bastard childdd <33 He is such an asshole and such a sweetie at the same time. His whole inner struggle of not feeling like a good enough man for Kisa is so heartwhelming and I think it really makes sense to the type of person he is. The flashbacks of him telling Akito how he loves Kisa and the feeling of uncertainty and impotency when seeing the girl he loves being hurt by his actions and wanting to be good enough for her even though he is more than enough sdfghjasd. I am also a softie for older brothers who love their families *cough cough* spoiler alert: Momiji *cough cough* that I love me one angry boi
5- Hatsuharu Sohma
4 Seasons by Rex Orange County - “I saw myself as less and you so high above me”
Cow boil! apart from the fact that I love love loveeee Haru’s design, I think he is also such a well build character! He is not only supportive of everyone (aka the loves of his life, Rin and Yuki xDD) but he is so interesting! His split personalities give him a cool trait (even though dark Haru doesnt appear much in the end of the manga) and I love how he helps everyone and makes sure those he loves are protected at all cost and happy. He is Rin and Yuki’s fan club stan leader and I am co-leader so we been stanning aye
4- Hatori Sohma
Fireflies by Owl City - “I'm weird 'cause I hate goodbyes, I got misty eyes as they said farewell”
Boooooy the next four to come are my absolute favorties and I would die for their happiness and love so *takes big breathe* I LoVE hAtORi sOhMAAa. To be honest when we first meet him I didnt like him much. I thought he was your usual dark deep character who doesnt talk much because he is too cool for everyone (which, he is) and that was that. But boi was I in for a riDE. His story about having to erase the memories from the woman he loves is one of the ones I cried through the most. I put myself in his shoes and wonder if I had to erase the memory of the person I loved the most, make them forget they ever met me, all our happy times, sad times, angry times.... No matter what its one of the most saddening moments and the whole scene is heartbreaking, which makes me love Hatori even more for the fact of how strong he is and selfless. He puts himself before others and he need to know he also deserves happiness and I am glad in the end he got it because homeboy needed a break ;w;. I also adore Ayame’s relationship with him xDD, he is like his idol and big same.
3- Kyo Sohma 
This song saved my Life by Simple Plan - “Sometimes it feels like nobody gets me, Trapped in a world where everyone hates me”
Top three babyyyy. We have now my angry cat boi™. I mentioned it before but going into the reboot firsthand without reading the manga nor watching the first anime, I thought Kyo was going to be my absolute favorite character. I knew he would be the angry boi who was soft inside and probably had a tragic backstory™ that made him act the way he did and I am a sucker for those types of characters. And I love Kyo, I really do, specially when we find out more about his struggles and past. The exclusion he felt throughout his life for being the cat, the abandonment, feeling like he had no one and was ready to die because he didn't have any source of genuine happiness (well, apart from Kazuma ya know but stillll). Then he finds Tohru, the girl he promised to protect, the one that reminded him of the woman that helped him out all those years ago and I just.... poetic cinema at its finest. Kyo and Tohru make one of my favorite couples and I love how flustered and In absolute l o v e he is with her and Kyo is great man....
2- Yuki Sohma
Nandemonaiya by RADWIMPS - “Crying even when you're happy, Smiling even when you're feeling lonely”
THIS WAS ONE OF THE HARDEST DECISIONS OF MA ENTIRE WEEB CAREER SO EXCUSE WHILE I SCREAM. Yuki Sohma won my heart and entire soul throughout the series. I liked him from the start but he wasn't my favorite favorite at the beginning you know? I thought he was isolated and thats why he didn't have much friends and he was perfect and what not but boi was I wrong and happy about it. I think one of the reasons Yuki is one of my favorite characters in fruits basket is how much I can see myself in him. Having the constant need of perfection while also wanting to connect with others but finding it hard is something I personally struggle with and every time we learned a little bit about his backstory my heart broke. Everything Yuki had to go through, the rejection, the isolation, understanding that you are loved and not a burden, falling in love with someone, finding that figure of a mother/friend he always yearned for.... The complexity of Yuki’s character is astounding and I love my rat boi so so much.... When he joins the student council, finding his little group of friends and opening up to a more carefree and true Yuki, forgiving those around him and going and eye- YuKI IS MY BABY RAT BOI AND STAN HIM OR PERISH FROM HERE ;w;
1- Momiji Sohma 
Eine Kleine by Rachie - “If I were to go through life living just to take somebody else's place, Then I would rather have been born as a pebble, living out my peaceful days “
*Clears throat* *trumpets sounds intensify* *stands on podium* I LOVE MOMIJI SOHMA WITH ALL MY HEART AND HE MUST BE PROTECTED AT ALL COSTS. Thats it. Thats what I want you to get out of this post. I don't know if this is maybe an unpopular opinion-ish but Momiji’s backstory of his mother rejecting him, saying awful things, him having to accept being forgotten by his mother and sister whom he loved, not even being able to live with his family, is one of the most heartbreaking ones of fruits basket. Maybe its like what I said with Hiro and I am a sucker for big brothers that love their families, the sad smile of Momiji, my baby, angel, perfection when he sees his family and not being able to be with them, him loving Tohru but letting her go and be with Kyo because its her happiness that matters to him and I am-..... The selflessness of Momiji and how much of a sweetheart he is, his heart of gold and always being there for those around him, that moment where Akito was looking for Tohru and he got hurt trying to defend her.... Momiji is one of my all time favorite characters. He is a precious bean and I will never not shut up about my love for ma boi <333
Anyways that was long and ramble but I just needed to shout this somewhere because I've been missing they //rip
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shipmistress9 · 6 years ago
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FTLOAP: Chapter 25: It Will Not Be Long, Love
Title: For The Love Of A Princess
Fandom: HTTYD
Theme: Hiccstrid - Medieval-style AU - Romance - Angst/Hurt/Comfort
Summary: Reduced to little more than a stable boy, Hiccup, despite his noble birth, has few prospects for more in life. But when he meets a girl who came to look at the horses, being a stable boy might not be enough anymore. Together, they have tough choices to make and great risks to navigate if they want to survive and be together.
Rating: Explicit
FF-net  -  AO3
Prologue; Chapter 1; Chapter 2; Chapter 3; Chapter 4; Chapter 5; Chapter 6; Chapter 7; Chapter 8; Chapter 9; Chapter 10; Chapter 11; Chapter 12; Chapter 13; Chapter 14; Interlude 1; Chapter 15; Chapter 16; Chapter 17; Chapter 18; Chapter 19; Chapter 20; Chapter 21; Chapter 22; Chapter 23; Chapter 24
Alpha/Co-author: @athingofvikings
. – * – _ . o O o . _ – * – .
AN: Remember how I said this would be the last chapter before the hiatus? Yeah, well... it's not. Once again, it turned into a ridiculous mammoth and i had to split it. But to fully concentrate on NaNoWriMo, I plan to post the second part of this last chapter on Tuesday or Wednesday... we'll see.
This week's title comes from the song 'She Moves Through The Fair' by Loreena McKennitt
. o O o .
The next two days were… awkward, to say the least.
Hiccup was acting strangely, but Astrid couldn’t tell why. All she knew was that something had gone completely wrong and that she had no idea what it was. To her, everything had been perfect. Her questions had been answered; she had no doubts anymore about their feelings being real, and her fears about whether she’d be able to enjoy Hiccup touching her had been thoroughly crushed as well.
If anything, she only wanted more. The way he’d made her feel, so light as if she was floating, as if her mind and body weren’t connected anymore, and as if nothing existed anymore but the sensations he elicited in her – she wanted more of that!
But it didn’t seem like she would get more anytime soon.
. o O o .
The day after Dagur’s accolade didn’t start that bad. Astrid woke to her stomach feeling like it was twisting in knots – for reasons other than her soulmate for once – but she hadn’t expected anything else. And in addition, she was once again looking forward to that day’s events.
This day was devoted to basic battle training and assessment of the new recruits, including a little demonstration that was Daniel’s favourite – shield walls against archers. It always was entertaining to watch how the young men, who usually assumed they’d be lone warriors on the battlefield, would try to charge an archery tower – sword raised, shield in hand, and a battle cry on their lips – only for them all to “die” when a padded arrow hit them.
Usually, Astrid would stand to the side with Eret and Dagur, making comments and bets on who would get the furthest. Watching men fight, for them to prepare for real battles, wasn’t her favourite freetime activity, but since Fishlegs would be busy treating head- and stomach-aches after last night’s feast, she had few other options. The fact that they would spend the day at the archery range instead of the garrison helped too. She still didn’t feel like catching up on her performance with bow and arrow, but she also didn’t want to hide anymore. She had her brothers who would protect her if needed, and she had Hiccup who, just by existing, made her life so much better – and that was all she really needed.
But the main reason for accompanying Daniel today was… well… Hiccup. His behaviour last night had been so odd, and she just needed to see him, his warm smile, had to know that nothing had changed.
When he showed up, however, it was as if everything had changed. He behaved… weird. There really was no other word for it, even though, to everyone else, he had to appear entirely as he was supposed to.
But he didn’t look at her.
Not once.
He greeted Eret and the others with an appropriate mixture of familiarity and formality, that absolutely suited them. When it was her turn to be greeted, though, he changed.
“Good morning, Princess Astrid,” he mumbled, bowing deeply. Astrid couldn’t even so much as catch a glimpse at his eyes as they were firmly cast to the ground at her feet.
“Good morning, Hiccup,” she replied, puzzled, but managed not to show it.
And then he left without giving her so much as a glance, no covert smile, no nod, nothing. It left Astrid confused as she followed him with her eyes. Sure, they’d agreed on being more careful when interacting in public, but this behaviour was still weird.
Practically all day, she had her eyes on him; first as he stood amidst a group of young men, fruitlessly trying to convince them to organise their charge at the tower, and later as he joined Daniel, Dagur, Eret, and a group of castle guards to demonstrate how effective an orderly turtle formation could be. But he didn’t look at her, not once, not even as they were whooping and cheering at their success.
Astrid thought it might be because of the official setting, that he was playing his role as nothing but Eret’s squire. But given how everyone else regularly looked in her direction under some pretence or other, his behaviour seemed weird. And it stayed that way. During lunch, he sat with a group of lads in a far-off corner of the archery ground, declining politely when Daniel invited him over, and even during the less organised archery training in the afternoon, he didn’t even glance once in her direction. Maybe it was because he was so focused on his bow and the target – he wasn’t the worst archer among the lads, but also by far not the best – but somehow Astrid felt more like he was avoiding her on purpose. Especially when, once the training came to an end in the late afternoon, he bid his farewell in an equally sober manner as his greeting, and practically fled her presence.
It confused Astrid. Sure, they had to keep up appearances when in public… but this went way beyond anything they’d done on earlier occasions. She’d at least expected a covert look, a short flash of a smile, just something.
She wanted to talk to him, wanted to sneak away once again and ask him directly, but didn’t get the chance. For some reason, Timothy’s chicken was going crazy and it took ages before they all settled for sleep – or at least the twins did. Astrid’s night was fitful, with her tossing and turning, unable to find a comfortable position in her feather bed, her lower body aching and her mind reeling.
And the following day was even worse. When Rachel came to wake her, she was still incredibly tired and feeling generally miserable; the thought of spending a couple of hours in bed with tea and a book felt like that might be the best thing to do. But when Daniel came to pick her up for one of their last days at the stables, she didn’t turn him down. She couldn’t! The previous day had been so weird, and despite her determination to not risk letting Daniel and the others notice anything, she still hoped to somehow get the chance to talk to Hiccup. Or to at least silently communicate through looks, exchange a reassuring smile maybe. Surely, he wouldn't be equally distanced as the day before when they were at the stables… right?
Her assumptions were true... to a degree at least. Hiccup wasn't quite as reserved, joked and laughed. It was almost like it always was. Except that it didn’t feel the same. Maybe he was just playing his role, kept his distance as they’d agreed upon. But it felt like more, like there was something concerning him, something that, again, kept him from even looking at her, much less talk to her. It was jarring, irritating, and so… so confusing!
At some point, the men decided to give their horses some exercise in the paddock outside. There had been no time to go for a ride during the previous days, after all, and after these first few days of training, none of them felt like riding out now. Astrid, however, decided to stay inside; the worst part of her moon blood might be over, but as always, it left her dizzy and tired. And in addition… in addition, she hoped for either Hiccup staying behind to keep her company, or to at least get a break without having to act as if everything was okay.
But neither of those hopes came true.
“I’ll stay with her,” Eret offered when Daniel threw her a concerned look, Trample tugging at his rope to finally get outside. “Hiccup, can you take Crusher as well? He and Markor should get along well enough.”
“Of course, Milord,” Hiccup replied, giving his usual exaggerated bow.
Astrid watched as they left the stable, slumping slightly back against the straw bale in her back.
“You okay?” came Eret’s inquisitive voice from the side.
She plastered a smile on her face, but for once not one that was meant to fool anyone – least of all her oldest friend. “Yeah, it’s nothing. Just the usual,” she explained, wrapping one arm around her midst in a telling gesture, and shrugged. It wasn’t even a lie, she told herself. It probably was nothing; she was just overreacting – again. Surely, once she got the chance to talk to Hiccup again, everything would be fine. Tonight, she thought to herself. She would find a way to talk to him tonight, no matter what.
Understanding dawned in Eret’s eyes. “Oh, I see. Want me to rub your back?” he asked.
With a smile, she nodded. As so often, the cramps in her stomach had shifted into her back by now, and this surely wasn’t the first time Eret gave her a light massage to ease them. He settled behind her, the movement of his broad hands and their warmth soon easing her discomfort, and she closed her eyes, focusing on the moment and forcing herself not to think. Absentmindedly, she reached for her chest, for the reassurance.
‘We are good, always.’
She would hold on to that.
“Interesting charm you have there,” Eret suddenly commented. When she turned to give him a questioning look, he nodded at her hand. Confused, she followed his gaze and noticed that she was absently fiddling with her key, the delicate chain wrapped around her fingers. Right… Today’s dress had more of a neckline than usual, pulling out the key had been no effort at all.
For a short instant, she worried about what to tell him, but then decided that, for once, the simple truth would be a good choice. “It’s the key to that small coffer Uncle Oswald gave me once,” she explained light-heartedly.
“I remember it,” Eret said cheerfully. “So why do you have the key with you?”
“Well, it contains all my secrets, so I prefer to carry the key with me at all times.” She winked, making Eret snort good-humouredly.
“Those all fit into that little box?” he asked a little disbelievingly, with a waggle of his eyebrows to show that he wasn’t serious. “I’m disappointed. I could have sworn you had enough secrets to fill at least half of Lake Vola.”
They both chuckled, and once more Astrid was grateful for having such a good friend. A friend who made her feel better for the simple purpose of her feeling better. A friend who accepted that she had her secrets and didn’t pry for them. A friend who, surely, wouldn’t betray her trust if she told him.
But no, she couldn’t do that. Not just because telling anyone would only put Hiccup in unnecessary danger, but also because telling Eret would put him into a compromising situation. She didn’t want to force him to lie too.
“Feeling better?” Daniel asked a while later as he and the others returned to find her enjoying Eret’s massage a bit more.
“Yes, a little,” Astrid replied, her eyes fluttering open. As if drawn by an invisible force, they landed directly on Hiccup, but she immediately looked away and at Daniel instead. It was enough, though; enough to see him finally look at her, enough to see the look of guilt and concern, covered by a soft smile – enough to confuse her even more.
“And we’re done just in time, I’d say,” Dagur chirped cheerfully. “We should go back, freshen up a little. We’re having a date tonight, after all.”
“A date?” Hiccup asked, one eyebrow raised.
“Right,” Eret grinned. “You’re coming too, Hiccup. No discussion, that’s an order.”
“Ahm… okay?” Hiccup made, clearly puzzled. He looked around from one to the other until Daniel took pity on him.
“We received an invitation the other day,” he explained. “Not exactly the usual procedure, but still one we hardly could turn down. What was her name again, Eret? Kayley?”
“It’s Cami,” Eret corrected with a wink.
Astrid’s shoulders slumped a little. Right… The men would be at Freya’s Temple tonight; she’d completely forgotten about that. Almost against her will, her eyes flickered to Hiccup for a split second. The urge to secretly return here again tonight, to talk to him and solve this weird tension between them, was overwhelming. But if he wouldn’t even be here… Well, she’d have to wait another day then.
The thought made her anxious.
“Okay, let’s go then,” Daniel announced once the horses were all back in their stalls. The way back to the castle was a strange experience. Never before had she made this way in Hiccup’s company, much less in such a weird atmosphere. Daniel, Eret, and Dagur were as cheerful as ever, making insinuating jokes that, under proper circumstances, surely wouldn’t be for her ears. Hiccup was eerily quiet though, walking next to them but not reacting to their jibes nor making any comments himself, and only threw her a couple of covert glances every now and then.  
It wasn’t hard for Astrid to guess what was on his mind. But as much as she wished otherwise – as much as she felt otherwise – they weren’t married yet. Wouldn’t be for a long time, in fact. It would be ridiculous to assume or even demand for him not to visit an Ástir for all that time. And she wanted him to know that.
“Well, I’ll leave you to it then,” she announced once they reached the wing with their private chambers. The smile, with which she looked at each of them, was genuine. “Enjoy yourselves!”
In turning, she caught the pained and torn look on Hiccup’s face, but quickly looked away. She wanted to give him a nod, some form of reassurance that she didn’t mind. But with all their eyes on her, that wasn’t feasible. So she just raised her hand to wave over her shoulder at them all as she walked down the corridor, mentally preparing herself for another lonely night of tossing and turning.
It would be a long night.
. o O o .
As Astrid vanished back towards her chambers, Hiccup had to fight not to stare after her. Although, truth be told, it was an easy fight – fueled by his guilt. Gods, he’d been so stupid...
“Come on, if we’re visiting the Temple, we need to be presentable.” Daniel said, grinning and clapping him on the shoulder.
Hiccup nodded, glad over this distraction as the lessons on decorum that had been drilled into him for the last... Gods, was it almost six years now?, came back with a vengeance. The Ástir might not charge a fee, but you did not disrespect the Goddess they served by showing up slovenly. There usually were basic cleaning accommodations to be found at the Temple, but it was considered a sign of respect to show up presentable already when possible.
The four of them made their way to the castle bathhouse, which was near the residential quarters, and entered the men’s changing rooms. Once inside, Hiccup made his way to the back of the rooms, pulled off his soiled clothing, stinking of the stables, folded them, and left them on the lower shelf of the small cubbyhole that he’d been assigned when he’d arrived some weeks ago; the upper shelf had another of his tunics and trousers from his last visit to the baths, cleaned, laundered and waiting for him.  
After getting a robe from the rack, he joined up with the other three, likewise berobed, and they made their way into the bathhouse proper.  
It was a nice enough bathhouse, Hiccup had to admit, finely appointed, with warm stones underfoot, artistic mosaics on the walls, and with candles in scones providing a sufficient and soothing amount of light. But the pools here were heated by wood-fires, and part of him couldn’t help but compare them to... to his family’s baths, heated by a hot-spring, and find these baths wanting in comparison.  
Daniel, Eret and Dagur were bantering as they entered the half-full hot pool, hanging their robes on the nearby hooks set there for that purpose; the other bathers waved hello, mostly to Daniel and the two ducal heirs, but continued on with their conversations.  
As the hot water hit his leg, Hiccup sighed in relief.
“Good to take a load off?” Eret asked with concern.
Hiccup nodded numbly; it had been acting up a lot more over the last couple of days – and he knew exactly why. Sure, the unusual activities of the last days played a part too, but he knew that wasn't the only reason. Guilt pooled in his stomach, but he put on his best calm face and laid back in the pool’s seat, letting the warmth of the water soak into him, and claiming the soap-on-a-rope as it was passed around.  Hiccup had to admit that much – the King’s bathhouse had some of the finest soaps he’d ever used.
Mostly, though, he kept quiet as the other three men bantered, feeling miserable.
Guilty and ashamed, but mostly miserable.
Gods, what had he been thinking?
Not now, he chided himself. He didn’t want to drown in his thoughts again, not now. Not when he was around people who could not – under any circumstances – know what he was thinking about.
About how soft their sister’s breasts were, how perfectly they fitted into his palm. About the moans she made when he licked her behind her ear. About how incredible it felt when her fingers dug into his back.
Thankfully, at least in the baths... that sort of reaction wouldn’t be commented on. Just the relaxing effects of the baths – or the thoughts of their upcoming visit to the Temple. At worst, he’d get teased.
But he couldn’t think of her like that! Maybe paying Cami a visit was a good idea after all. Not that he had any choice on the matter anyway, but still. He’d been reluctant, had wanted to find some way, any way out of it. But between Eret’s order and Astrid’s reassuring smile… Yeah, it probably wasn’t such a bad idea. It would at least take the edge off his desire, so that he hopefully could interact normally with Astrid again on their next meeting. Oh, how he longed to be alone with her again, to simply look at her, talk to her, to just be with her.
Daniel reached over and snagged the soap bar, which Hiccup hadn’t realized he’d been holding for this entire time, right out of Hiccup’s hands, the bar swaying from the soft linen rope that was embedded in it.  
He gave the prince a sheepish smile, and opened his mouth to apologize, but Daniel rolled his eyes and waved him down. “Don’t worry about it, Hiccup. You have one of the finest minds that I’ve had the pleasure of meeting, and I understand if your thoughts were somewhere else.” He scoffed and nodded his head towards Dagur and Eret, who were cheerfully sculpting the soap-foam on their heads into outlandish shapes. “At least I know your thoughts are more productive than these two thickheads!”
Hiccup chuckled weakly as Dagur and Eret protested playfully. Oh, if he only knew...
Daniel lathered up and sniffed. “Hmm... lavender. Nice. And that reminds me, I wanted to drop by the bakery before we head over to the Temple. I promised Kaden to get her some of those lavender-and-lemon cookies.”
“Oho?” Eret commented, wagging his eyebrow. “You sure there’s nothing more to tell?”
Hiccup cocked his head, listening in with interest. Everything was good so long as it kept him from thinking too much.
“Yes, I am sure,” Daniel sighed. “It’s probably like with you and this Cami. I know her, and I like her. I’m more comfortable with her than with anyone else I don’t know at all. But that’s it. She’s a friend, and I know she likes these cookies. So, I’m going to treat her to some of them. End of story.”
Hiccup had his doubts on the ‘like you and this Cami’ part, but quickly dropped that thought again.
“It’d better stay that way,” Dagur sighed, unusually sober for once. “Believe me, it would only make your life complicated otherwise.”
Hiccup gave Dagur a confused look as Daniel placed a clearly comforting hand on his shoulder. He looked like he also wanted to say something, but before he could do so, one of the castle pages came up, panting slightly and red-faced – and fully dressed. That was odd in the baths.
“Your Highness,” the page said, coming to a halt at the edge of the pool and painting a hasty but deep bow, apparently aware of the depth of the breach of manners he was committing by coming into the baths like this. “My apologies for the interruption, but I was sent to come get you immediately.”
Daniel blinked. “Whatever for?”
“I was bid to give you this, Your Highness,” he said, still breathing hard, and handed over a small scrap of paper, “by the warden.”
Daniel’s brow had been wrinkled in irritation, but he took the note and read it.  
Hiccup watched as Daniel’s expression went from curiously annoyed to angry to calm composure, and shared a look with Dagur and Eret.  They returned it, just as confused as he was.
Daniel looked up after a moment, and then hauled himself out of his pool seat, and, dripping slightly, pulled his robe on. When he finally looked up again to meet their puzzled gazes, there was grim satisfaction on his face. “It’s… Sorry, but I need to go and meet my father.” He paused, biting his lip, then slightly shook his head. “Can you relay my greetings to Kaden? And maybe get those cookies for her as my apology? But this is important and can’t wait until tomorrow.”
“Of course,” Eret nodded. They all knew better than to ask for details when the Crown Prince wasn’t sharing them by himself, after all. Daniel nodded gratefully, and before either of them could say any more, he headed off towards the exit.
“Okay? That was weird,” Dagur stated, forehead wrinkled in confusion.
“Indeed…” Eret agreed. “But I’m sure we’ll learn what it was about eventually.”
They finished up in the pool without further delay, the banter from before having left with Daniel. With their fresh but too casual clothes on, they stopped by at their rooms in the residual wing of the castle to get something more appropriate for the occasion. Hiccup changed quickly and checked himself to make sure his outfit looked decent; casual in boots, trousers, and a fine tunic and vest, but still far more elegant than his usual stable boy attire.
He stepped out to where Eret was waiting, and was greeted with a nod and a broad grin. “Great. Dagur is already ready too, he’s waiting outside. Come on.”
“One could think you're a bit eager to meet… Cami.” Hiccup remarked dryly, inspecting his fingertips to ineffectively hide his smirk – and also cover up his own nervousness.
“Well, I am looking forward to seeing her,” Eret emphasised. “Everything else…” he trailed off, shrugging.
Hiccup chuckled, but didn’t comment further. Who was he to tease his cousin about being eager to spend the night with his lover, after all? Freya, if he could, he’d turn on the spot and look for Astrid’s rooms without a second’s hesitation. But he couldn’t. Aside from the tremendous inappropriateness of such an action, he had his duties to follow in accompanying his master, and also had to... let off some steam.
. o O o .
“Wow, these cookies really are delicious!” Eret said; he received a couple of weird glances from passersby, but otherwise went without a reprimand for his behaviour. Hiccup would at least have expected a few giggles at the side of him trying to talk past his mouth full of cookies.
They had gotten the lemon-and-lavender-flavoured cookies Daniel had requested for his friend, but also a parcel of cinnamon-flavoured pastries for Cami. ‘I clearly remember her saying she’d like to try those,’ Dagur had said upon seeing them in the bakery, and Hiccup had to agree. He, too, remembered that conversation they’d once had, back in Eastervale. Back when his biggest problem had been to decide between becoming a squire or a stable master…
“Hey, they’re not for you,” Dagur chided, taking the parcel away from Eret to prevent it from being empty once they reached the Temple. Although, after glancing down at the delicious treats and swallowing, he handed them over to Hiccup. “Here, you take care of these. I don’t trust myself either.”
Hiccup bit back a sarcastic remark while Eret pouted, “Spoilsport,” and stuck out his tongue at Dagur when he was sure he wasn’t looking anymore.There was a playfulness in his tone though, a lightness Hiccup hadn’t heard during the last couple of weeks.
“I saw that!” Dagur commented nonetheless, making all three of them laugh.
It was a relaxed stroll through the streets of the capitol toward the Temple. Not many recognised them, not like when they were accompanied by Daniel or Astrid. They were just three young men, looking both important enough and intimidating enough to not be bothered.
“Oh, hey. That’s just what I’ve been looking for,” Eret suddenly exclaimed, and ran ahead without a warning. “Just wait here for a moment, I won’t be long.”
“Jewelry?” Dagur called after him, disbelievingly staring at the sign atop the shop Eret headed to. “I knew you were into some weird stuff, but that’s new.”
Eret, however, just snorted. “That’s not for me, idiot. I just wanted to get Cami a ‘Welcome to the capitol’ gift. I’m sure it’ll come in handy when she’s dealing with some of those stuck-up nobleman around here. Just give me a minute.” And with that, he was gone inside the shop.
Hiccup and Dagur shared a baffled look and a shrug. A minute of waiting turned into a couple more though, and when Eret finally returned, a small box tied shut with a bow in his hand, he found that Dagur had helped himself to an additional parcel of cookies of his own, from another nearby bakery, and Hiccup was carrying another additional parcel, if smaller than the ones filled with pastries. He smirked at Dagur, snatched one of the cookies for himself, and then nodded at Hiccup’s purchase.
“What’s that?” he asked, wiping away crumbs from the corner of his mouth.
Hiccup shrugged, a little self-conscious. “Well, since you both were about to bring Cami a small gift, I thought showing up empty-handed would be weird. So I got her a small something from that shop over there.” He nodded at a large window at the other side of the alley where small wooden statuettes of varying sizes and forms were at display. That was one of the amazing things about the capitol to Hiccup; with all of the glass they made here, glass windows were commonplace, such that even shops in the market had them.
“Heh, a good idea,” Eret announced cheerfully. “A bit of a personal touch to her new home. What did you get her?”
Hiccup placed the delegated parcels of cookies onto a rock nearby, certain they’d be safe from poaching now that Dagur had his own, and opened his purchase. Inside was a small but detailed carving of a running horse, made of smooth reddish-brown wood.
“Oh, she’ll like that,” Eret grinned. “She said the horses all around Eastervale would surely be what she missed the most.”
Hiccup nodded. “I know, I was there too.”
“Right…” Eret rubbed his back, a little sheepish, then suddenly paused. He leaned in to closer inspect the horse, and laughed. “It looks like Markor.”
Frowning, Hiccup glanced at the horse too – and had to agree. And while he often had arguments with himself in the quiet of the night, this was definitely an escalation from the back of his mind.
“True,” he said with a slight laugh, trying to cover up his sudden nervousness. “I didn’t notice; there were several horses of all kind, but this one somehow caught my eye, and…” he trailed off, shrugging. Anxious not to say something he shouldn’t. The truth was that, despite his sincere wish to get a gift for Cami to treat her, it had also bugged him that he couldn’t get Astrid any gifts. Just something small would do, something solid, as a reminder. Or as an apology for his utter stupidity... But that would be too noticeable, too dangerous. So he’d settled on just getting something for Cami, but hadn’t been able to keep his mind from whirling around Astrid anyway.
And apparently, that had even influenced his choice of gifts…
Shit.
. o O o .
As the three of them entered the Grand Aesir Plaza, Hiccup swallowed as carefully as he could manage, but Eret spotted his reaction. “Right, this is your first time here, isn’t it, Hiccup?”
Hiccup nodded, looking around at the glorious architecture on display.  
At the centre of the vast open square was a sacred grove of at least a dozen enormous trees and numerous smaller saplings, their leaves shed, but standing proud and tall. Statues of the Aesir, Vanir and some of the greater Jotunn ringed the grove.
But the outer periphery of the square was what really drew Hiccup’s attention. They’d entered through a covered tunnel, its walls and ceiling carved and painted with images from the sagas of the gods, and emerged into the square, giving him his first look at the place – an effect no doubt intended by the architect, and Hiccup had to give the him or her a mental salute for the effect.
The paving stones underneath their feet had the cobbles arranged in patterns of white, green and brown that suggested branches reaching out from the sacred grove and to the periphery. More trees grew in regular gaps in the pavement, and Hiccup noted that many of them were fruit trees, although the biggest and mightiest tree in the grove was a yew, still green and hardy despite the encroaching dark and cold. He remembered that this particular tree was supposedly almost a thousand years old, planted when the city was founded.
But the buildings... oh...
Where Hiccup had grown up, the temples were of wooden stave-and-post construction – built on vertical logs with one end sunk into a stone foundation and then a horizontal log across the top to connect them and form the structure. They could grow impressively complex, but they were still made of wood, of a tried and true – and boring and conservative – design.
Here, though... they had ventured into stone and glass.
Now that the initial shock had passed, Hiccup saw parallels with the newer wings of the castle, especially the residential wing, and he’d have to check later to see if the same architect had designed both structures – or maybe ask Daniel about it.  
A doubled columnade, connected by arches, ringed the vast space, creating a covered space that connected the various temples; the columns were carved to look like trees, and the arches to look like mingled branches. And the buildings themselves...
They were massive confections of intricately carved stone, with stained-glass windows filling massive portions of the open walls. Much like at the residential wing, Hiccup saw flying buttresses, but these were long and elegant compared to the much more muted structures at the castle. But their reinforcement allowed the piers to hold up most of the weight of the roofs, which enabled the architect to allocate all of that the wallspace to the massive glass windows, which glowed in the late autumn gloom from the lights inside.  
Undoubtedly, when the grand blots were held, this entire open space would be packed full of worshipers, many of them pilgrims from all over the kingdom, with the Fyrirs holding the sacrifices and prayers in the sacred grove itself.  
Suddenly a hand waved in front of his face.  “Hic?”
Hiccup blinked, and turned to look at Dagur, who wasn’t even bothering to hide his smirk.  “What?”
Eret and Dagur shared a grin, and Eret said cheerfully, “You’d think that you just saw a pretty Ástir do a striptease in front of you from the way that you reacted.” He reached over and gently poked Hiccup in the forehead. “And I don’t think it’s the... bust of Freya over there that caught your attention.”
Hiccup stuck his tongue out at the pair of them and they both laughed.  
They made their way in the plaza proper, and Eret and Dagur took turns playing tour guide; they’d been coming here since they were boys, so all of the wonder was long since worn off for them. In a bizarre way, Hiccup had found a second reason to be grateful that he hadn’t come to the capitol until he was an adult. The first was not growing up as Astrid’s brother, of course... but being able to appreciate such magnificence on their own merits for the first time as an adult, with all of the training and learning that had come with it, ranked on a good second place.
Much like the smaller temples elsewhere, the Temple complex functioned more as lodging, organization and work-spaces for the various Orders than as worship spaces, with the sacred grove fulfilling that function. So over there was the building that functioned as Frigga’s courthouse... there was the building where Freyr’s Order minted coins, blessed farming implements, and checked the weights and measures used by the merchants across the kingdom... there was Freya’s hospital for the sick – Hiccup saw a young mother carrying in a coughing child as they walked past – and right next to it was the home of the Ástir.
The door, carved and painted to resemble Fólkvangr, with Sessrúmnir visible in the distance, stood under a fifteen-foot-tall stained glass window of the goddess, riding her cat-pulled chariot, with Hildisvíni running at her side and wearing her cloak of falcon feathers – and nothing else – but before Hiccup could take a moment to appreciate either piece of art, Dagur and Eret each took one of his arms and practically hustled him through the door.
“Come back during the day,” Dagur said.
“It’ll look better, trust us,” Eret added.
Hiccup didn’t comment on their actual and rather transparent motivations, since they were right... and instead took in the foyer and the atrium beyond as they took off their boots and cloaks and handed them to an attendant waiting in the foyer, who took them and handed them small wooden chits with numbers on them.
Lush carpets were underfoot, insulating them from the cold stone, and, once past the foyer doors, Hiccup saw a cheery fire that burned in a large hearth which was surrounded by upholstered chairs and benches laden with cushions, most of them occupied. Tasteful sculptures of the goddess filled various niches in the walls, and Hiccup heard what sounded like running water. Turning towards the sound, his eyes went wide as he found the source – an honest-to-the-goddess waterfall inside the temple; water cascaded in a gentle flow down the stones of a five-foot-wide section of the wall between two windows and ended in a small pond on the floor.
“How...?” he asked, stepping towards it, but Eret’s hand clamped down gently – if firmly – around his upper arm, and he was pulled deeper into the atrium.  
Around the atrium, there were numerous groups of people, socializing, eating, or engaged in what looked like intense discussion. Some, going by their dress, were noblemen, while others were members of the Temple of various ranks, and others were more humble city folk.
“Good evening, Milords,” a silky voice sounded from behind him, and Hiccup turned with a start. In front of them stood a woman he dimly recognised from Eret’s accolade, but hadn’t cared to remember so far. The short blond hair didn’t make Freya’s Fyrir any less beautiful, and her robe of black satin and golden silk gave her an air of unquestionable dignity.
“Good evening, fair lady,” Eret greeted her, bowing deeply. Hiccup and Dagur followed his example.
The Fyrir nodded, then cocked her head with an unreadable look. “I see His Highness did not accompany you after all,” she stated. There was no question in her voice.
“Indeed,” Eret confirmed. “Sadly, urgent matters kept him busy. He asked us to deliver these–” he held out the box off cookies Daniel had asked them to obtain– ”to Ástir Kaden in his name.”
The Fyrir nodded once more, then lifted her hand to beckon toward a woman sitting in a nearby niche and chatting to a handful of younger women. She nodded, excused herself from the group, and came over, a friendly and curious look in her big brown eyes.
“Yes, Fyrir?” she asked in a melodic voice, light brown curls bobbing around her face with every movement.
“Kaden, my dear, these lords brought a gift for you.”
The woman, Kaden, turned, her puzzled eyes brightening when she spotted the box Eret held out for her. “The Prince sends his regards and his apology,” he announced formally. “He is tied up in his duties and won’t be able to make it here tonight. He wanted to make good on his promise, though.” He handed over the cookies, and Kaden’s smile grew a few shades warmer.
“Oh, that is very kind of him,” she announced, beaming. “Please, convey my honest gratitude toward him. My pupils and I will enjoy these greatly.” She was about to bob a curtsey and retreat when the Fyrir made her wait.
“I know that you are eager to return to your class,” Mala said, her tone somehow soft and firm at the same time. “But since you have more than enough time for them tonight, would you be so kind as to inform Cami that her visitors arrived?”
“Visitors?” Kaden’s eyebrows rose in surprise as she eyed Hiccup and the others, but quickly caught herself again. “Of course, Fyrir Mala. I’ll let her know immediately.” They watched her retreat and disappear up a flight of stairs.
While they waited, Hiccup went over and examined the waterfall, unable to help his curious nature. A few moments of examination revealed a pipe cunningly hidden among the stone that apparently led upwards.
“There’s a rainwater cistern on the roof that feeds it and several fonts in the building, if you were wondering,” the Fyrir’s voice came from behind him, sounding amused.
Hiccup turned, feeling a bit sheepish, but the Fyrir looked pleased. “Go, rejoin your friends. Kaden won’t be long.”
As Eret rolled his eyes at him, Hiccup returned to the pair of them where they’d snagged small bowls of light broth from a pot by the hearthfire. The Fyrir’s words proved to be accurate as Ástir Kaden returned down the staircase a few moments later, politely smiled at them as she walked past, and returned to her class, who cheered as they were offered the cookies.
“I’d say this is proof then that Daniel was telling the truth,” Dagur snickered as the young women passed the box around. “I mean, she wasn’t even mildly disturbed by him not showing up. And let’s be honest, a box of cookies is not that fancy a gift, but she obviously was happy enough. How does the saying go again?” He smirked. “Ah, yes. ‘A man is smitten with the Goddess’ chosen when the purse at his belt swells like the purse of his loins, and–
“–and the chosen feels the same when she finds room in her heart and her coffer for his boons,’” Eret finished. “Yes, yes, okay. So they’re not in love. Better that way anyway, I guess.”
There was an odd tone in his voice at that, and Hiccup gave him a curious glance; he was missing something.  All the saying meant was that you knew a man had fallen for one of the Ástir when his gifts grew extravagant... and she reciprocated when she kept them exclusively for herself, rather than sharing with the rest of the Temple. Like how the now-empty cookie box had been shared.
“Indeed,” Dagur agreed, then gestured toward an empty set of chairs. “But let’s sit down there. Walking here was exhausting.”
At that, Eret smirked. “What, you’re tired already? We didn’t even get started,” he teased. “How exactly do you plan to survive the next couple of hours?”
Dagur just cackled, and Hiccup couldn’t suppress some quiet laughter either as he followed them to sit down as well. Once seated comfortably, waiting for Cami to lead them to her rooms, he couldn’t keep his thoughts from running wild anymore though. He felt… torn. The prospect of spending a couple of… relaxing hours with Cami made him nervous in a way. Sure, this wouldn’t be their first time together, not by far. And being with an Ástir wasn’t meant to be romantic in any way either, not meant to replace the loving intimacy of a married couple. He should be looking forward to it, to get the brunt off the maddening desire raging within him. But he couldn’t shake off the thought that it was… not quite right. He couldn't stop thinking about Astrid,  about how much he would prefer to be with her tonight instead. But that was a thought that had no place at all in Freya's Temple, and he hastily fought to banish it into the depth of his chaotic mind, hoping for Cami to hurry to distract him.
He didn’t have to wait long, only a couple of minutes. By then, the three of them were engaged in a conversation about the benefits of short swords, when Dagur suddenly went rigid.
“Oh shit!” he cursed under his breath, making Eret and Hiccup look up at him in confusion. “And suddenly, I’m incredibly grateful for whatever prevented Daniel from coming with us,” he muttered, staring past them with wide eyes.
Hiccup turned in his seat – and froze as he spotted the young woman descending the stairs.
Her wild blond mane, usually only loosely bound if at all, was braided in a complicated pattern halfway around her head until it hung in a long plait down her back, ornate with colourful sparkling stones around a light coronet. She wore an elegant dress in varying shades of blue that highlighted her bright blue eyes, the wide skirts, embroidered with a pattern of swans, waving around her lower half like a waterfall. In addition, she wore elegant gloves that reached all the way to her upper arms, and she moved with an air of dignity he hadn’t seen on her before.
A part of Hiccup knew it was Cami, recognised her face between the costume. But for a moment, all he could see was Astrid, dressed as she’d been under that borrowed cloak, back at that first day at the stables.
. o O o .
This is a wonderful place to let this chapter end... don't you agree? O:)But again, this is not the last chapter before the hiatus after all. Keep your eyes open, there'll be another one, probably on Tuesday or Wednesday.
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crownproud-blog · 7 years ago
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- ̗̀✰ •【 SAM CLAFLIN / MALE / 30 】announcing the arrival of his royal highness, ( KOENRAAD VAN ORANGE-NASSAU ), the ( CROWN PRINCE ) of ( THE NETHERLANDS ). I’ve heard that he is ( HYPOCRITICAL ) & ( STUBBORN ) but can also be ( CONFIDENT ) & ( FRIENDLY ). ( KOENRAAD ) is arranged to marry ( LILY COLLINS ). Rumor has it ( HAD AN AFFAIR WITH A FRIEND OF HIS FATHER'S ). We hope you enjoy your stay at London!
hey !  i’m charlie, i’m twenty two, she/her  &  i’m from the GMT+1 timezone. i’ve made an about page for him here, & a connections page here, which I’ll be adding onto in due course  &  so if you’d like to plot with him  ( me  ), just like this or im me &  i’ll be very, very excited about it !  here’s a few, very quick pointers about him too, to get started ! 
TITBITS.
He’s a middle ground sort of guy. He’s not evil, but he’s not holier than thou, either. He persistently, consistently tries to better himself and to better his way of thinking. Whilst he can often judge people inwardly the first time he meets them, he’s someone who’ll do his best to stop and think and change his behaviour. 
Whilst he has an incredibly selfish side, when he becomes king he does want to be a good ruler and someone that his people do trust in. He wants his family to be proud of him, he loves his family a great deal and is very protective over his four younger siblings, in particular his youngest sister. 
Korey was a bit of a mummy’s boy. He has a good heart, he really does he just doesn’t always go about it the right way. He went through a stage, after her death, of being reckless and messy but it didn’t last very long. Sure, people keep going on about it, but he does his best now to be the best son possible, and an heir to the throne that people aren’t disappointed by. 
It’s in his reckless / messy stage that he had an affair with a married friend of his parents, and fortunately this has never been exposed to anyone. It’s one of his biggest regrets, but he also truly believes he fell in love with them, even if he was sort of used, in a very big way. It’s kind of moulded the way he looks at relationships in a certain aspect, and in another it was just a huge learning curve. 
The whole concept of being married off for the good of the world is a sweet concept to him, but he doesn’t really think it makes sense. He’s never openly admitted it, he rarely exposes his opinions when they’re politically based or by other means important, but he’s studied History enough to know what has come before them.
He’d consider himself more of a realest than a cynic. 
He’s secretly a hopeless romantic, wants to believe there’s somebody out there for everybody and in particular, somebody out there for him. He falls pretty easily, but he disguises it fairly well. He never really lets anyone close enough to see his vulnerability, it’s reserved for a small, select group of people. 
Learning different languages, about different countries and how they work/are run, cultures, and not only his history, but history all over the world is literally one of his favourite things in the whole world. He’s using this entire deal to his advantage in that respect, so he’ll probably ask a lot of questions. 
This isn’t a lot, but I am sure to be adding onto it soon enough on his biography page ! 
WANTED CONNECTIONS ! 
BEST FRIEND / RIDE OR DIE : open
They’re the person he goes to about everything. It could be a relatively new situation; they just clicked automatically, or they could have known each other for what seems like forever. He’d do absolutely anything for them, and hopefully it’s the same reversed. Korey feels a little less alone knowing that they’re there through all of this too, as well as his siblings.
OLDEST FRIEND : open
With them knowing each other since forever, since they were kids, they’re always going to be someone that Korey treasures. They might not see each other as often as they like; but whenever they do, the chemistry flows naturally, they don’t even have to think about it. I can see Korey missing this person a lot, and even being jealous of those that might be closer to them now. Maybe something happened that caused a rift between the two? But he’ll definitely want to work at it, whatever it was. He doesn’t give up easy.
GOOD INFLUENCE : open
Whilst Korey isn’t a bad person, he does have some traits that he needs to work on. I like the idea of someone showing him how to do that, someone who makes him think before he acts. Also, this could be done in reverse. If there’s a messy muse out there who needs a logical mind to help them through their reckless decisions, give Korey a bell. He tries his best to be there for absolutely everyone. The more allies, the better - after all.
BAD INFLUENCE : open
Since the man is such a middle ground kind of guy, I certainly see him being…badly influenced too. He needs to know he can let his hair down a little more than he does right now. Sure, he had his year of – destruction, but since he tightened the reins even tighter than they’d been before that. He thinks about everything he does, and he feels incredible pressure from the knowledge that he’ll be king one day. Somebody persuading him to be a little less uptight, would be grant. Also, this can be reversed where he helps someone who…has never had a crazy time of it, have a crazy time of it.
LIKE A SIBLING : open
So he has four siblings already, all of whom he loves an awful lot, but it’s not unlike Korey to take somebody else under his wing, be as wildly protective of them as he is his flesh and blood. They might be somebody younger, he might have caught them in a bad place, or a bad way and tried his best to help them through it. Or they could be someone who’s one of his siblings friends, who he cares for almost as much as he cares for said sibling. Or, they could be the same age as him – it’d be nice if he had someone who he depended on like a brother/sister, who understood the intensity that the prospect of being a king could bring. Either or would be lovely.
A FLING : open
It could have ended now, or maybe it’s still going on. Korey is someone who likes intimacy, he has done for a long time and he doesn’t like to go without it. It could be a friends with benefits kind of situation, it could be two people who are barely acquaintances that have this secret deal. They could even be people who seem as though they’re arch rivals, but there’s an unexplained chemistry there, that they never discuss…obviously.
A RIVAL : open
Being as ambitious and as manipulative as he can be, it’s not unlikely that he’s made a few enemies along the way. He can be an incredibly jealousy person, too – so it could be due to that, too. Maybe they’re too similar for their own good, maybe they were friends who became enemies, maybe the rivalry is one sided and the other has no clue what they’ve done to cause it. There’s lots of ways this could go, really.
A CRUSH : open
This is self explanatory really, it could either be a crush on him or him having a crush on them. It would be quite cute if it started in childhood, and just has never gone away? With Korey being such a hopeless romantic, he definitely had crushes in the case. It could be reciprocated but neither of them really know about that fact, or it could be completely one side.
A CONFIDANT : open
It doesn’t really matter what their age are, what their rank, or position. He trusts them implicitly, and goes to them whenever he’s struggling with something. He doesn’t open up to people often, he’s a fairly closed and mismatched book, but for whatever reason this person understands him and is there for him, and has gained is total trust which is pretty difficult to do. He’d be a pretty good confidant in return, at least he would genuinely try to be. He’s all about treating people the way they are treating him, so he’d do his best to reciprocate it all. Maybe they’re using their unique position to their advantage, too.
OLD FLAME : open
They might be the first person he ever dated? It could’ve ended on good terms, bad terms, no terms at all. Maybe there’s still a confusion there between them, about what happened that caused it to come to an end. He might still care about them, might wish he hated them. The possibilities are endless.
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ff15trashgoldenslumbers · 7 years ago
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*Prompto's voice* I really love your headcanons, gurl! So, considering the new Regalia type D, what if the chocobros s/o are not so thrilled by Noctis' irresponsable driving or the behaviour of their boyfriends? Maybe if the guys start to make fun of them for their worrying they decide to take revenge and drive like maniacs and shut their men up.
That upgrade is going to be the death of them! OH MAI GAWD! But I personally wanna drive it. Or be in the back between Ignis and Gladiolus.
~~~~~
Noctis
“Let me drive!” You bark to your boyfriend, after fueling up, sick of his lack of care for anyone safety in the backseat. There were multiple times where you were certain that you were going to be thrown from the car all together.
“You sure you can handle it?” Noctis asked playfully, handing you over the keys.
“You just try to hang on.” You stated, jumping into the driver’s seat as Noctis jumped in the passenger seat, poor Prompto being forced in the back between Gladiolus and Ignis.
No sooner had to jumped behind the wheel, did you suddenly realize why your boyfriend became such a maniac behind the wheel! The power, the thrust, the adrenaline! You needed to destroy everything in your path! The second those wheels left the road, it was goodbye self control, hello destruction!
“I don’t know,  which one of them is worse.” Prompto yelled, as you drove through what everyone thought to be a river, but the way you took it, it was a simple little puddle.
“Take that jump!” Noctis called, clearly with the same amount of glee that you both were feeling.
“Fuck yeah!” You yelled, clearly at odd with your typical docile demeanor, as you quickly drove up a nature made ramp, much to the displeasure of everyone in the back seat. Pedal meet floor, as you gave the car everything you had, before launching the car in the air.
Screams from the backseat, and loud cheering laughter from the front as the car stayed airborne for about 10 seconds before plummeting back to the ground. The shocks absorbing the shock, as you skid performing a half circle before pulling to a stop. Gasping as Noctis grabbed the back of your head before pulling you into a heated kiss.
“That was the hottest thing you have ever done!” Noctis muttered into your lips. “I am going to fuck you so hard tonight!”
~~~~~
Prompto
“Hey, I’m still a better driver than Prompto.”
“Hey!” Prompto gasped, “Nah, I can’t be offended, it’s true.”
“The only thing I could hurt out here is a few trees and rocks and believe me they’ve had it comfortable for too long.”
No one could really argue with that logic, not for a lack of trying, so you sat behind the steering wheel, hands at ten and two. Hardly going more than the speed limit, out of fear of Ignis’s special brand of drivers ed. Yet as you glanced in the back seat, noticing everyone seems rather calm and peaceful in the backseat of the car, did you take a sharp right off the road into the forest below, moving towards the nature that you seemed so hell bent on destroying earlier today much to the screaming and horror of your passengers.
Loud whoops and cheers left your lips as you rolled over every stone, performing still less dangerous leaps that Noctis, but with your driving history, it made it seem much worse. Than any of the damage that you were actually doing, surprisingly you had managed not to leave a single dent or ding on the car itself, despite your personal vendetta against every rock and boulder you came across.
What felt like hours later, you pull the car to a shrieking halt as you stood in your seat pointing forward, “Prompto look a nest of wild Chocobos!” You cheered, only to turn to see your boyfriend leaning over the end of the door. “Prompto?”
“I’m going to hurl.”
Glancing around the car, you noticed the others in a very similar situation. Shrugging you grabbed Prompto’s camera, before pulling the lense to your face, snapping a quick picture of the wild family of Chocobos before they scattered off.
~~~~~
Gladiolus
“You sure about this, Babe?” Gladiolus inquired, granted you had driven his truck around back home when you both went camping, but that you still needed a running start to get in. Yet with the upgrades with that Regalia, the man had to often lift you into the backseat, and stand underneath you so you could climb out.
“Yes, I’m sure.” You stated, holding the keys, standing underneath the door, before turning over your shoulder to your large boyfriend. “Help me get in the car, Gladio.”
After spending 5 minutes adjusting the seats and mirror, you finally managed to pull away from the campsite. A rather smooth ride, despite your co-pilot constantly nagging you, and asking if you could see over the steer wheel. You loved Gladiolus to death but you really just wanted him to shut up. You had finally went off roading, when you saw it, the thing that would finally get your boyfriend to stop nagging you.
Slamming on the horn and revving the engine loudly, you managed to startle the Catoblepas herd that immediately started stampeding towards you. The rest of the car began to scream loudly, as they animals bellowed angrily at being disturbed, while you revved your engine before quickly going in reverse. Never once paying attention to the creatures currently trying to flip the car, as you looked over your shoulder in the front seat, before suddenly turning forward switching the car into drive, before shooting forward.
Narrowly avoid, huge hooves and long neck coming down to crush the car. The entire time you backseat screaming, while you laughed loudly, and your boyfriend staring in horror, as he held onto the front seat for dear life.
Nearly 20 minutes later the chase from the creatures finally stopped, as you managed to jump a gorge, crawling the car back on the highway, as you would need to pull over for gas soon, since you started the journey with less than half a tank.
Glancing into the rearview mirror, your backseat looked as if they had seen a ghost, while your passenger seat was still clinging tightly to the door and seat. You were certain that you saw indents in the leather that would never come out.
“So…think there’s any good food at the next rest stop?”
The entire car groaned loudly.
~~~~~
Ignis
“I would not mind.”
Everyone stared at you, Noctis had simply asked if anyone else would like to take the new upgraded car for a ride. Yet now all of them were staring at you as if you had grown feathers and tail.
“Is something wrong?” You inquired.
Everyone turned to Ignis, figuring that your boyfriend would be the best one to break the news to you without sounding too harsh. Ignis cleared his throat, as he turned to you sitting beside him in the restaurant booth.
“It just seemed that, this is not something that you would regularly enjoy doing, My Dear.” Ignis stated handing the waitress her tip and money.
“Well of course not, we don’t have these types of things back home.” You stated as you all shuffled from the booth.
Gladiolus chuckled softly, “No offense, but you’re really kind of the prim and proper type. You’re more the type to make sure that none of us die.”
“Well that would be my job description, yes, yet I do not see any harm as to driving. I do it all the time, I don’t see as to why this should be any different.” You reasoned. “Life is about learning new experiences.”
“Well, if you’re game for it.” Noctis stated handing you the keys, as everyone climbed back into the newly lifted car. Yet Prompto and Ignis had exchanged seats, so that the man could sit your shotgun. “It handles a little differently.”
“No problem.” You smiled, replacing your normal glasses with your prescription sunglasses. “We are heading towards Centry, about 4 hours from here. Should be no problem, we’ll make it just before sundown.” You replied backing out of the parking spot.
The first hour was of course nothing special, just the way you wanted it, luring the others in a false sense of security. When you suddenly got stuck behind a car deciding to go well under the speed limit, time to see how well the boys enjoyed your off roading style.
Finding a break in the steel work that avoided cars skidding off the road, you quickly launched off the road with a surprised gasp from your passenger seat and yells of joy from the backseat, going through the forest at break neck speed. Your kitten pumps applying more and more pressure against the pedal, until you felt it hit floor. Narrowly avoiding trees and boulders, swerving  at the last second, taking care to avoid any animals you might come across.
Ignis peeked over to the dash, only to notice that you were going well over the typical speed limit and steadily raising, “My love, perhaps we should slow down.”
“Sorry, Iggy Dear, I can’t hear you over the music.”
“What music?”
You quickly flipped on the stereo, as violins and piano moved from the speakers. Seems Cindy gave that a tune up as well, as you continued your reckless chase through the forest, now soundtracked by the beautiful waltz  music you were so fond of.
“There’s a gap up ahead!” Noctis yelled.
“It’s a river, Noct.” Prompto stated.
“Y/N you’re not planning to try and drive across it.” Gladiolus called.
“What, of course not Gladiolus, that would be absolutely foolish.” You stated, releasing your foot from the gas, before quickly slamming it back down, leaning back. “We’re going to jump it!”
“What!” The car screamed, as you quickly moved right, toward the cliff overlooking the river.
“My love, please think about what you’re doing.” Ignis called.
“Oh I am, we’re saving ourselves an hour on the trip, now do hold on everyone.”  You called, only to be answered by terrifying screams as you launched over the river, landing on the other side, not even bothering to slow down as you continued your merry little jaunt through the woods at your breakneck speed.
“You have 10 minutes until you reach your destination.” The GPS called.
You glanced around, before noticing the highway to your left up a deep slope.
“Y/N, I don’t think we’re going to make that.” Noctis whimpered in the backseat, where he and Prompto had clung to each other since you made the jump.
“Nonsense Noctis, we just need a little speed.” You cooed, before slamming your heel into the pedal rocketing up the side of the slope. Allowing the shock to take effect as you placed your arm out before Ignis, to avoid him from slamming into the dash board. “My goodness, next we take this to Cindy, remind me to have her put seatbelts in this thing.”
Pulling into town, you found the nearest Motel, jumping out as you stretched your arms and legs, switching your sunglasses out for your normal glasses, “We’ve got here with more than enough time to spare, are you boys hungry or should…”
You watched as your companions all fell from the car, looking as if they had survived a cyclone.
“Oh…oh goodness, you all look as if you should lay down. Let me get us a room.” You called moving to the front desk.
“Ignis.”
“Yes, Noct.”
“Your girlfriend is horrifying.”
“I would have to agree.”
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mycarlos2019 · 5 years ago
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Going to Guatemala. Part I
As recently as three years ago, it would never have occurred to me that I would come to love a small country in Central America known as Guatemala. It’s a love affair that began with watching travel videos on youtube.com and culminated with a ten day visit in January of 2018, followed by a three week visit in February of 2019. The youtube videos in question were made by a trio of young people called The Budgeteers and, to a lesser extent, by a man named Andy Graham who has his own website called hobotraveler.com. Prior to watching these videos, I suppose I must have just lumped all Latin American countries into one homogeneous mass of poverty, corruption and CIA meddling. Watching The Budgeteers hitchhike their way from Baja, California to the San Blas Islands, just off the coast of Panama, I realized that every Central American country is actually a little different. My original idea for 2018 had been to do what many Canadians do in the bleak winter months of January and February, to spend a week to ten days in Cuba. But the more I looked into Cuba, the more it seemed to me to be a country which is presented to tourists as a kind of Caribbean idyll, when in fact the truth is far from what you see on the surface. Guatemala, on the other hand, appeared to be a country where people are simply living their lives and don’t care all that much about tourists unless they happen to live in Antigua, one of the touristy towns around Lake Atitlan or Chichicastenango. In the rest of the country, people seemed to making a living from farming or by owning their own store. There are, in fact, so many tiendas in Guatemala that it is hard to imagine finding a place where there isn’t one. The point is that most Guatemalans don’t go out of their way to please tourists and they certainly don’t alter their behaviour to present a pleasing picture to the outside world.
The other vlogger who caught my attention, Andy Graham, did so because he has a number of videos of himself standing in front of Lake Atitlan saying, “Panajachel, Guatemala. I’m here. You’re not. Why not?” Mr. Graham’s shtick is that he has lived in 181 countries all over the world and can tell you how to live the same lifestyle he does, if you so wish. I won’t go into it any further than that, but suffice it to say that his assertions about Panajachel and Lake Atitlan being desirable places to head for if you wanted to live abroad were enough to make me open the Google maps Street View feature and start looking around. What I saw astonished me. Far from being a dreary, downtrodden backwater, Panajachel seemed to be bursting with life and colour. Souvenir shops selling multi-coloured clothing competed for room with open air restaurants and bars. Bright red Tuk-tuks, motorcycles and minivans somehow managed to share the narrow street with tourists and Guatemalan women selling their wares. A solid kilometer of interesting things to see, do and just be fascinated by. I decided that I had to go to Guatemala at least once in my life, if for no other reason than just to walk down Santander Street.
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             The view out the window at Pearson Airport the day I left.
I began planning my first visit in earnest when I realized that a return plane ticket on Air Mexico would only cost in the neighbourhood of $450. That would include a one day layover in Mexico City, but I was fine with that. Why not look around there too for a day? I managed to find a hostel that was only a 20 minute walk from Terminal 1 at Benito Juarez Airport. The only potential hiccup was that Air Mexico flights from Toronto land at Terminal 3 and, while there is a free Sky Train to Terminal 1, I had read that you need to show your boarding pass to get on it. I, of course, had a boarding pass, but it didn’t carry with it any express need to go to the other terminal. It turned out not to matter. Despite the fact that the security guard at entrance to the Sky Train boarding area was overtly hostile, as soon as I showed her my defunct boarding pass, she let me go through. Seriously, what do these people think? That gringos who just happen to live in Mexico hang around in the airport all day with nothing better to do than ride the monorail back and forth from one terminal to the other? In any case, I made it to Terminal 1 and managed to find my way to the far western end of it, where the footpath to my hostel began.
I had looked it up on Google Maps, but I wasn’t a hundred percent sure it could be done, by which I mean getting across the very large and very busy, multi-lane highway that essentially cuts off the airport from the adjacent neighbourhood. The Circuito Interior is a 42 kilometer long, six to eight lane freeway that forms a giant loop through the central neighbourhoods of the city. Fortunately, my hunch proved to be correct. There is a footpath, which leads to an overpass (i.e. footbridge), which deposits you on the other side of the freeway at the foot of the street, Norte 33, which, in turn, leads to the hostel. The service road, beside the Circuito is lined with airport hotels, fast food joints, car rental agencies and all the other sort of shops one typically associates with airports. In behind it, however, is a solidly working class, blue collar neighbourhood. This is where old VW beetles go to die. I saw three or four of them, at least, just in the short walk to the hostel, not actual working cars, mind you, just burned out shells of cars that had long ago been parked on the street and forgotten about. Clearly, the intention was to fix them up but it was an intention that, for whatever reason, was never followed through on. So there they sit, the unrealized dreams of anonymous Mexicans.
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                                  An old Beetle in Barrio Moctezuma.
Nevertheless, this is a neighbourhood that is full of life. Tiendas, restaurants and food stands line the streets. A large sports complex, complete with a soccer pitch and three basketball courts has been plunked down right in the middle of it. Around the walls of this complex are more street food stalls, fruit stands, miniature shrines where you can make an offering to the Virgin Mary (presumably to help your team win the soccer match).
If you should decide one day to stay at Punto DF, what follows is a short description of how to get from the footbridge to the hostel. Heading north, it is tempting to think you should stay on Norte 33 until you get to 166 Calle Oriente, and the cut over to the hostel, but it is much more interesting to hang a left on Calle Oriente 182 and walk over to Norte 25. This is where, to my mind the neighbourhood comes alive. Norte 25 is an absolutely unpretentious and, at the same time, lovely grand avenue with a line of small trees down the middle. A paint store sits next to the local stationary shop. Sidewalk eateries or comedors tell you that this is a place where people actually live and, to quote Van Morrison, have their being. Calle Norte 25 appears to come to a halt at Moctezuma and Fortino Serrano Parks (two parks side by side that are in effect one park), but it actually continues along the southwestern edge of these parks and resumes again on the northwestern side of Fortino Serrano. You could, of course, just walk through the park to get to the point where it starts again. From the corner of Calle Oriente 168 and Calle Norte 25, it is only one block further to Calle Oriente 166, the street Punto DF is on. Cocina Don Pepe has an orange awning. Turn left there. A large colourful mural will let you know you have found the right place.
My plane was two hours late, but it was still only about eleven in the morning when I rang the doorbell and was greeted by a very nice young man (I think his name might have been Francisco) who didn’t mind at all that I was checking in so soon. Of course, all I wanted to do was put my knapsack in one of their lockers and head downtown to see a bit of the city. Francisco gave me a map of the subway and confirmed that the cost was indeed five pesos. (It’s now six pesos, but that’s still less than fifty cents Canadian.) The Metro station nearest to Punto DF is R. Flores Magnon. It’s one of the more utilitarian stations in the system and is named after an anarchist who helped spark the Mexican Revolution. To get to it, you simply continue up Norte 25, navigating your way around the sports stadium and Mercado Moctezuma. If you’re feeling adventurous, you can cut through a pedestrian pathway that is actually part of the market. It’s just to the right of the low lying, yellow building that says Mercado de Moctezuma.
Moctezuma, as you probably know, was the ruler of the Aztecs at the time of first contact and he died on July the 1st, 1520 from being hit on the head with a rock thrown by a member of the Aztec uprising, because he was thought to be behaving in a way that was too conciliatory to the Spanish. They had, after all, massacred a large number of men, women and children in the great temple just ten days earlier. Another version of events claims that Moctezuma’s dead body–along with that of another Aztec king, Itzquauhtzin–was simply cast out of the palace once it became clear that he did not actually have the ability to stop the Aztec uprising.
At the far end of the laneway, you will emerge on Calle Oriente, just a short bit to the left of where Calle Norte 25 continues. Here there are more cafes, tiendas, stores to buy school uniforms, stationary shops, sidewalk food vendors, beauty shops and tortillerias lining both sides of the street as it leads up to the Metro. If you’ve never been on the Metro before, brace yourself. It isn’t even remotely close to the being like a ride on the TTC or whatever type of public transit you may have experienced in the States, Canada or even Europe. R. Flores Magnon, however, is a fairly mild introduction, in that it’s not very crowded. Just find your way up the stairs, buy a ticket at the booth, feed it into the turnstile, make sure the train is going in the direction you want and you are good to go, so to speak. One of the first things you will notice is that the cars are old. They were built by Bombardier, or at least some of them were, back in the late sixties and early seventies. Bombardier is the Canadian company that keeps getting its contracts cancelled by Toronto’s public transit system, due to its inability to deliver vehicles on time and to spec, but in this case, they seem to have done alright since these forty-year-old cars are still running. The next thing you might notice if you take the Metro at any time of day that is even close to rush hour is that these cars fill up fast. Mexico City’s population, if you take into account the whole metropolitan area, is 21 million, and a lot of those people use the Metro to get around. Nevertheless, it is relatively easy to negotiate and I was able to make my way to the station I wanted, San Juan de Letran, without too much difficulty.
My plan had been to land myself somewhere central and just sort of wander around, but I quickly realized how easy it would be to get lost in a city where no-one speks the same language as you.  Eje Central Lazaro Cardenas is a large, bustling, multi-lane avenue, lined with shops of all kinds, and it also leads up to the Palacio de Belles Artes. You can probably figure out for yourself that this means Palace of Fine Artes.
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                                      Palacio de Belles Artes
It’s an absolutely awesome building that I wished I had time to explore further, but I didn’t, so I satisfied myself with sitting in the park beside it, Almeda Central. It’s a large park, with water fountains, trees and places to sit. At the eastern end is the palacio. On the northern side is Teatro Hildago and the National Stamp Museum, while on the western end, there is an art museum with a mural by Diego Rivera. I dare say you could spend three or four days just exploring the different buildings around this park but I didn’t have much more than an hour to just sit and contemplate my surroundings. It can be a bit of a shock to the system to get on a plane in a city where the snow is a foot deep and seven hours later find oneself surrounded by trees and water fountains in a space where people are just hanging out and enjoying the warm weather.
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                                               Almeda Central
I can’t say that I thought much more about it than that. Mexico City seemed a little on the inscrutable side, hard to understand and/or grasp the spirit of and I wasn’t going to have enough time to more than scratch the surface. I decided to fulfill my goal of seeking out a fish taco place I had read about on the internet.
El Pescadito is a chain of restaurants in Mexico City that only sells fish tacos. The one I was headed for is quite close the park, just one block south on Luis Moya and half a block to the right on Avenita Independencia. I really had no idea how to order because my Spanish was very limited at that point in time, but I somehow managed to muddled through and obtain a shrimp taco, a fish taco and a beer. The process, just in case you ever find yourself inside one of these places, is you order from the cook and sit down. Then someone brings the food to your table at which point you can take your tacos to the salsa table, where there are about ten different choices. Unlike most chains, you pay when you’re done. I sat looking out the window and watched a man using some kind of clay to remake the sidewalk curb, by hand. Basically, he made a cast from wood planks, poured the clay into it and then smoothed out the top with a trowel. I had the impression that he was some kind of private contractor, not a city employee, and I enjoyed watching him work while I ate my fish and shrimp tacos. Soon enough it was time to leave and begin making my way back to the hostel.
I was about to acquire a whole new appreciation for the term packed in like sardines. The trains on the Mexico City Metro become so full of people at rush hour that you find yourself pressed in on all sides and virtually unable to move. And just when you think that not one more person can press his way inside, someone manages to do just that by letting the doors close on him repeatedly until he is literally squeezed through the doorway. I began to grow concerned that I would not be able to get off at my station without bowling over several people first. Fortunately, after wracking my brain to find the Spanish version of “excuse me”, I came up with “permiso”, and that worked. People actually shifted to one side long enough for me to edge my way through them and get out the door and onto the platform of R. Flores Magnon Station.
It was later than I had thought and Barrio Moctezuma was already dark. I was a little nervous because I had read a TripAdvisor posting about my hostel which said that the poster wasn’t sure it was a safe neighbourhood to be walking alone through at night. Those feelings quickly dissipated as I realized there were still plenty of people dining in restaurants, going to the tiendas and just hanging out with friends on the street corners. Some houses had LED Christmas lights on them, giving the whole neighbour a soft glow.
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                                    Barrio Moctemzuma at night.
I saw a brightly lit store called, appropriately enough, La Luz 1. It had a bottle of beer on its sign, so I reasoned that they probably sold beer and decided to pick up a few to drink on the hostel patio. After stepping inside and giving the place a quick scan, I found that the owner was stationed behind a cage of half-inch, white bars. There was a fridge to my right with beer in it, but when I tried to open the door, I found that it was locked. The man behind the counter came out, unlocked it for me and went back inside his cage. I took three Coronas to the counter with no idea what they would cost. When he told me the price, in Spanish, I found that I couldn’t understand him and gave him my notebook to write the price on, but he had a better idea. He produced a calculator and showed me the price on that. I left feeling quite pleased with myself for having successfully navigated my first purchase in a Mexican store, not including, of course, my meal at La Pescadito. That didn’t count because in that restaurant the prices are posted on the wall in large letters and numbers. In the store, I had to ask “Cuanta Cuesta” and try to understand the answer.
Back inside the hostel, I found Francisco still on duty and I asked, needlessly, if it was okay to drink beer on the patio. Many hostels in Latin America have beer for sale right on the premises, but I didn’t know that then, and in any case, Punto DF does not. He told me that of course it was okay, so I made my way out the back door and sat in the open air with nothing on my back but a short sleeved cotton, enjoying my beers and listening to the sounds of the barrio; the occasional car engine revving, a dog bark here and there and, of course, the far away sound of airplanes taking off and landing. Cognizant of the fact that I would need to leave the hostel at 7:00 AM if I was to be at the airport three hours before my flight, I stowed my knapsack in one of the lockers, crawled into the cubbyhole which contained my bed, pulled the curtain closed, got undressed and quickly fell asleep.
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            Approaching Benito Juarez Airport early the next morning.
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To purchase Going to Guatemala as an instant download PDF, click here.
To visit Lost City Press, click here.
To continue to Part II, click here.
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stromuprisahat · 2 years ago
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#inej and jesper's friendship gives me fucking life #’i need your help' 'of course love. with what?' absolute ride or die behaviour
Things I'm emotional about in 1x04:
This line from Kirigan: "When I was a boy After I created the Fold I used to run away and hide here. Once I realised I was a descendant of the most hated Grisha in Ravka...I'd come here, throw a coin, make a wish in the fountain. Same wish, over and over again. That I could be anyone else."
90% of this is? Most likely true. He's not even lying, he's just changed a few details.
2. Alina asking him, "Was I properly schooled?" after she recounts the story of the Black Heretic. She doesn't know that's him, but she believes they're family, and she's giving him an opportunity to set the story straight if she's mistaken, tell her his family's side. And he actually responds to this! Sort of, because centuries of trust issues are like. A Thing, and he's learned the hard way that trusting anyone is usually a Very Bad Idea. But he tells her that he's been trying to bring down the Fold and put things right all his life since then, and opens up a little, and looks surprised at himself that he did.
3. "Nina Zenik...hasn't reported in. If she's alive, she may need our help."
A whole army under his command, and he sends one of his own personal bodyguards after her. I love a man who doesn't leave his agents in the shit, even if it's only because they're useful. It would have been so easy for him to dismiss her as compromised and send someone to eliminate her before she's able to give up any information to Fjerda - but he sends Fedyor to help her instead. Fuck me up.
4. Genya trying so hard to flirt with poor awkward David. This man is a massive autistic mood. The woman who never compliments anyone gives him like three compliments in a row and he's just like yep okay thank you bye
5. The sheer amount of trust between Inej and Jesper for her to let him shoot a playing card out of her mouth. For a girl with such a traumatic backstory full of so much loss and pain, that she's able to trust anyone that much makes me feel things.
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