#'i knew this would happen' and its. not what im intending to say at all
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
nyxi-pixie · 3 months ago
Text
i feel like when you make a post anticipating a certain response to it and then one person says something that Could Be Interpreted In A Certain Way If You See It In Bad Faith, youre always going to do exactly that. peace and love
10 notes · View notes
hauntingblue · 22 days ago
Text
Jayce telling vi she won't make it on her own.... okay mr. projector...
#viktor just turned his body into the arcane and you dont even know!!! his leg is purple!!!!#im not going to excuse vi for saying the kid knew what he was getting into bc he didn't bc he is a kid (here we have ms. projector)#but telling jayce he has always been complicit of this he just didnt have to see it... yeah exactly.#and like she obviousky regrets the kid dying but it was jayces fault lmao why does he blow up on her??? the name calling got to him#jayce thinking omg he is going to off himself and viktor just trying to hide the evidence of his murder akdhsksj well yes he does want to...#i was wondering why the council was so Flabbergasted about the nation of zaun?? like they dont care and basically dont intervene#in the undercity bc they don't have any interest or profit in there. they don't gain anything at all from there.#so of course when silco asks jayce says sure fuck it. the only thing the council needs from zaun is the gemstone and its not even theirs#it's probably just fear of agression towards piltover as another nation and not something they can control or repress#silcos reaction to cait being wheeled in akdhaksj it sounds like he said 'what' he probably didnt know the girlfriend part... understandable#i forgor about her bringing the platter out... like ofc i didnt forget it but i didnt see it coming there. with bad memory you can be#surprised every time you watch the same show 👍🏻#i haven't cried because well the foruth time is a stretch now to cry but i still got chills at the end with the missile impacting....#and like whay would have happened if cait didn't free herself.... like ofc she would have bc everyone in that room could have killed her#not vi etc etc but she did just leave her so who knows really#anyways the monsters appearing in jinxs vision when vi mentions her past family is so poignant to her change.... they dont have the intended#reaction vi meant.... and silco is trying to shut her up for jinx's sake and look what happened to him. like vi really couldn't understand#her sister now and maybe back then either.... like not to be a silco apologist but it seems like he was the only one who could handle her#maybe im exaggerating but it would have gone wrong either way i think like no matger how much love there is in between them#idk man its so bad. like maybe this could have been avoided but it would have gone wrong in a different way for sure#and this couldn't have been avoided#talking tag#watching arcane#three weeks away still.... what now....
8 notes · View notes
livelaughloveluffy · 17 days ago
Text
confession - trafalgar water d. law
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
a/n: sorry, i cant not call law "captain". its the same thing with luffy too, its just so hot 😭😭😭 fanfic is truly the only lawless time that i would be into some sort of power imbalance in a relationship, what happens on tumblr, stays on tumblr 😭💀
a/n: okay, not to like be the girl that pairs her fics with songs, but like... the second i finished proof-reading this i couldn't help but think of how well this fit: so here it is; hopefully you see the vision 😭😭😭 you can't tell me that song isn't law coded as hell 💀
nothing but fluff here 💗
---------------------------------------------------------------------
when law first asked you to join the heart pirates, he never intended to fall for you. in fact, he actively tried to not fall for you.
it wasn't because there was anything wrong with you. you were everything he wanted and more, but he didn't want to be in a relationship. he didn't know how to be, if he was ready for one, how to be a boyfriend. he knew this, at yet, he couldn't keep his eyes off of you.
•♡•
when you first joined the heart pirates, initially you thought that the captain regretted even asking you to join. you always felt his watchful gaze following you. even when he wasn't around, you could still feel the burn of his intense hazel eyes on your skin. it became difficult for you to even look at law without blushing slightly, feeling a bit intimidated by him, but also intrigued.
so when he asked you for help organizing the files and loose papers in his office, you instantly agreed. party because you hoped that if you did a good job, you would prove to the captain that you were competent and a good choice to be on his crew, and partly because you held the tiniest bit of hope that this could be an opportunity to get to know him more.
•♡•
okay, so, maybe you were wrong. maybe this was a bad idea. i mean, you can't say no to the captain's orders, but also. this was painfully awkward. at least for you it was. you had been going through the loose papers on law's desk with minimal guidance from him. he sat on the opposite side, engrossed in work.
once the mess of papers on his desk were somewhat figured out, you moved them to a separate (just as cluttered) table in his office to set the down on while you gather other papers scattered around the room. even now with your back turned, you could feel law's hazel eyes following you as you moved around his office.
you hurriedly grabbed the other miscellaneous papers, bringing them to the secondary table, where you then decided to take a seat and really sort through them all, carefully scanning their content to determine how you should file them.
it wasn't until a good half an hour in, that you uncovered an open book buried beneath the papers. you make note of the page it is opened on, holding a finger in place there, as you turned to look at the cover.
"i didn't know you were reading this series law! it's one of my favorites! how are you liking it?" law glanced up from his work, looking to see what book you were talking about. with a scoff, he suddenly seemed to perk up a bit, which was the most excitement you'd ever seen displayed from the captain. "fuck, i've been looking for that book for seven months, every island we stopped at that had a bookstore was always sold out. i've been wondering how it ends for ages now."
"it's my all time favorite in the series, the ending was amazing! i wouldn't mind rereading the whole series just to read that book again.... im glad i could find it for you!" you replied, with a wide smile.
law quietly stood up, leaving his desk to walk over to the bookcase beside it. he grabbed the very first book of the series. as he walked over to you, he paused right in front of you for a second, as if contemplating what he was about to do before offering the first volume to you in exchange for the copy you had found of the third volume. with his gruff and quiet voice, he announced "the office can get organized another day, wanna read for a bit?"
•♡•
true, law was always intrigued by you, from the very second he met you. but pure intrigue had instantly shifted to attraction the second he looked up at you holding the "lost" copy of the book he had been obsessed with. it was to his surprise that you too had also read this series, and loved it.
before he could even process what was happening he heard the words "the office can get organized another day, wanna read for a bit?" slip out of his mouth. and the instant wide smile that shined on your face after he did make him so glad he had said it.
•♡•
it wasn't too long after that first day organizing law's office that the two of you made it a plan to read together. quiet and dark evenings in the captain's office, spent in comfortable silence and the the frequent ambient sound of page turning as the two of you read and reread some of the best moments in your beloved book series.
as you both continued to make progress with the novels each night, the more you noticed the utter charm of the captain. his toned, tan, tattooed chest, his messy dark brown hair, his piercing eyes as the scanned the words on the page in front of him.
you two had grown comfortable in each other's presence, and even began to prefer it to being alone. this small routine being the only time you guys got to spend together alone, becoming an honored custom.
but you couldn't help but hope for more from the captain...
•♡•
law had a hard time vocalizing his feelings. this was something he always knew, but didn't quite have to face the reality of until he was sitting alone in his dark office, waiting for you to show up for your usual nightly reading date, but as the clock ticked by he began to give up hope.
his jealousy bubbled to the surface when he walked into the common room to be greeted with you.... hanging out with shachi, penguin, and bepo, cuddled up next to the soft polar bear mink during a movie night with the crew. what bothered him the most, wasn't the obvious sitting right in front of him, but the fact that he was the one who let it happen. its not like you knew that he'd been harboring feelings for you, he never said anything. but that was about to change.
snuggled into the warm fur of your mink friend, you didn't even notice the law's quiet whispers across the common room "room... shambles."
•♡•
in an instant, you were suddenly in law's office. instead of your head being buried into the soft white fur of navigator of the heart pirates, instead your cheek was laying against the soft warm bare chest of the captain. finally adjusting to your surrounds, you startle a bit "captain.. what the hell is going-"
his arms tighten their grasp around your body, keeping you pressed against him. "sorry... i just.. i couldn't stand watching the two of you that close anymore..." he explained, his voice gruff and somewhat defiant, as if it was a sign of weakness and vulnerability to come clean about the way he feels. "i just.... i was waiting for you tonight.."
you softly began to explain the situation "im so sorry, bepo and the gang dragged me to movie night before i could make it to your office" with side of your face pressed against law's bare chest, you could feel his heart racing, he was much more nervous than he let on. and you, feeling proud of him for being able to vocalize his feelings this far, you decided to make it a bit easier for him when you reply "if you wanted me, captain... all you had to do was ask.."
you could feel him bury his face into your hair, and for a moment he just sat there, holding you, soaking it all in, before he lets out the smallest whisper, just barely loud enough for you to hear, as if he's so afraid to say his wish out loud, like doing so would make it disappear "please be mine?"
you lifted your head up, bringing a hand to the side of his cheek, before you reply "consider me all yours, captain."
---------------------------------------------------------------------
a/n: i may have written the end of this fic before the beginning, so just roll with it if the flow is kind of weird at the end 😭😭 idk how much longer i can stare at my laptop writing this 💀
a/n: enjoyed this fic? here's my masterlist!!
343 notes · View notes
pxperplxnets · 3 months ago
Text
puppy love
summary: kimi and y/n are constantly teased about their feelings for each other
pairing: kimi x reader
word count: 849
warnings: none
lowercase intended!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
being surrounded by boys at all times was hard. even more when all of them treat you like a sister, which meant that mockery was more than common. the only person that didnt treat y/n like a sister was kimi, and everyone seemed to notice it but her.
since y/n had joined prema, a certain brown haired boy had been pinning over her constantly. of course, he didn’t know that she saw him the same way. everyone noticed and made it clear for them, but they both refused to admit it.
in this particular day, y/n sat with sebastian and hamda, who were chatting away about something she didn’t quite understand. not that she was paying attention anyways. she was too busy looking at kimi, who was talking to one of the engineers a couple tables away.
“you do understand that looking at him wont do anything, right?” sebastian asked, making the girl look back at him. “i don’t know what youre talking about” she tried to deny “im talking about how you and kimi constantly drool over each other but won’t admit it” hamda nodded at his words. “he doesnt drool over me” she insisted “yes he does, its kinda sad at this point” y/n rolled her eyes before directing them towards the boy again, deciding to ignore sebastian.
their eyes met for a split of a second before he looked back at the man he was talking to, red as a tomato.
“look at you, all red because she’s staring at you,” the man said, laughing at his blushed face. “she is not” he defended, looking at her direction only to see her focused on whatever hamda was saying. “you gotta go for it, mate. if not, you will lose your chance with her” kimi felt a hand on his shoulder and looked back at his opposite. “whatever, lets focus on the data.”
the days passed by and kimi and y/n seemed to be having the same interactions with everyone. people teased them endlessly and tried to talk some sense into them, but it did nothing more than annoy the two teenagers.
y/n found herself basically running away from conrad and kirill the moment they got distracted. they had been teasing her about her crush for what felt like hours and she couldn’t take it anymore.
she headed for the driver’s bus, knowing that there was no one there. on the other hand, kimi seemed to have the same idea.
“oh, sorry” she said as she opened the door and noticed there was someone there already. kimi recognized her voice immediately and turned rapidly to see her “its okay” her heartbeat slightly picked up when she noticed who it was.
“is everything okay?” he asked, wondering why she was in such a rush “yeah, just trying to run away from conrad and kirill” she chuckled. he smiled at her laugh, it truly was one of the prettiest sounds he had ever heard. “why?” he furrowed his eyebrows slightly “they are being more annoying than normal, well, everyone is” she let go an exasperated sigh, pushing herself up to seat on one of the tables. “i know right!” he agreed.
“what are they annoying you about?” y/n asked after a couple second of silence, wanting to keep the conversation going “uhm… they have this idea that you like me” his words were almost whispers. “oh…” her tone matched his “i know it’s not true, don’t worry” he smiled weakly, looking down at the floor.
y/n didn’t know what to say. she wanted him to know it was true, but she was scared. what if he didnt like her back? what if he laughed at her face? she knew he wouldn’t do that, he was too nice, but it still scared her.
fuck it.
“what if it wasn’t a joke?” she asked suddenly, making kimi look up at her. “what?” he looked so confused, it was kind of adorable. “what if i actually did like you? how would you react?” he didn’t want to believe what was happening, it must have been a cruel joke. “you don’t though, right?” he was scared, if it was a joke, it wasn’t funny. “i do.” y/n wasn’t scared anymore. she was already doing it and she wasn’t going to back off now.
there was silence for a moment. she was looking at him expectantly, trying to decipher what he thought. “i like you too” his words resonated in her head.
he liked her back.
“good.” she smiled. he smiled back at her, and just as he was about to say something else the door slammed open. “fucking finally!” arthur cheered, causing the large group of people behind him to cheer. y/n covered her face in embarrassment while kimi smiled at her gesture before approaching the door and closing it on their faces without a word. he turned to her, moving her hands off her face softly before pecking her lips shyly. she chuckled at his shyness before enveloping him in a hug.
-----------------------------------------------
REUPLOAD
115 notes · View notes
guiltysungho · 6 months ago
Text
— let the light in
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
genre : tags. domestic, angst, fluff, comfort, reader is in a slump
pairing. bsf!kim donghyun x gn!reader
wordcount. 726
a/n. this went a completely different direction than I intended but i still wanna put it out there, im not used to writing like this so it might not be perfect but i hope you enjoy reading it. its not too sad dw.
Once again you were stuck in your room completely shut off from everything and everyone, you hated when this happened but it seemed to have become a part of your life. You rolled over on the bed where your phone was charging right at the edge of your mattress, letting the bright led light flash in your eyes as you adjusted to the feeling of being awake after what felt like an endless slumber.
I’ll be there in 10 - Donghyun 5 mins ago
Your knight in shining armor, he had been spamming you throughout the week hoping you’d reply him more than 3 letters. He knew your moods too well to not know what was going on, after 5 years of being close you’d hope 2 letters was enough for him to read the signs.
You rolled back belly flat against the mattress, drowning in the darkness of your cave waiting for the jingle of his keys to help you out of your slump. Maybe your patience was wearing out, your eyes grew heavier as you waited, almost ready to shut, and then you heard it, the jingle.
“I brought you take out, I’m gonna come in so like don’t be naked” He called out from the other side of your room door, you somehow managed to crawl out of bed and swing the door wide open for him before falling right back on it, you loved your bed.
“Feed me.” You groaned in pain, jokingly, somehow you were able to joke.
He smiled at you, and your face muscles mirrored like a reflex. You sat up on your bed watching him walk around your room, first to the desk placing all the treats far from your reach and then the curtains, it was inevitable, your begging was in vain as he let the light in.
“It’s a really nice day out, if I feed you we should take a walk, deal?” as usual bargain, nothing came easily in this life, you shook his hand reluctantly.
When you think about it, it felt almost comical the way you’d regain life whenever he showed up, before Donghyun you hated being bothered whenever you felt this wave of utter lack of willingness. You would figure it out yourself and that could take months, but now you didn’t even have to say anything for someone to just be there.
It wasn’t like you couldn’t do these things on your own but some times were harder than others and knowing someone cared enough to help you made it easy again. You didn’t know what it made you, if it meant anything outside of your friendship, but you felt loved and that was more than enough.
“You’re doing such a good job, don’t worry too much I’m here for you,” sweet words of comfort that helped, like he could read your mind and sense your doubts just so he could reassure you later.
“I’m sorry I’m such a mess” He shook his head, dismissing your comment,
“You’re not a mess baby, I’m doing this because I love you,” Your eyes glistened with heavy tears just waiting to drop, the feeling of his soft hands on your cheeks made you close your eyes, finally letting them loose as you took in a deep breath, a soft pout on your lips as you looked back up at him.
“I love your pout, and I love your smile. I’m working hard to see that beautiful smile again,” his thumbs brushing away the droplets staining your cheeks, he made you feel like you didn’t constantly have to put up a front.
That you could actually be human and he wouldn’t decide one day that he wanted a doll, his words made you wonder the depth of his love, was this just another moment that friends shared. Did he mean them the same way they sounded to you?
The weight of your worries had shifted from one thing to another, walking down the river by his side you wonder how many meanings could “i love you” have, could you be loved even more than this?
Thinking about it, made your cheeks burn up, placing your fingers on your lips trying to not get carried away, while he was right there but the smile was too strong to hide, turning your face away from him as you succumbed to the feeling.
“There it is.”
194 notes · View notes
gothicchildofthenight · 2 months ago
Text
Dead-Bird
Tumblr media
FEM DNI‼️ (She/her, She/they, etc.) - you’ll be blocked.
request: “hihi ! can you write rodrick x ftm reader thats just like , treated as one of the guys in rodricks friend group and has a sense of belonging , then heather outs the reader or something n rodrick stands up for them (???) im not sure where im going with this request u can interpret it however u want”
summary: moving to plainview for a fresh start while you’re transitioning. you meet rodrick heffley, resident emo, and become inseparable. what happens when heather hills gets jealous thats he’s turned all his attention on you?
descriptions: ftm!reader, intended for a black reader but can be read by any race, rodrick might be ooc (??), i made heather really mean (and homophobic 😭) but in reality i have no hate to her HER ACTRESS IS GORGINA, slur drop (f word), maybe the reader a girly kid sorry if that upsets anyone, cursing, throwing up (only happens once and i don’t think it’s detailed), let me know if i missed anything!!
a/n: yall, i know i said friday, but circumstances change (especially when baby siblings are sick asf) so i’m sorry. you’re allowed to yell at me in the comments!! BUT ITS FINALLY HERE‼️ pls let me know if you like it, and if you think i should change anything. i can always improve!!
word count: 8.29k (i got carried away 😭)
———————————————————————————-
For as long as you can remember, you knew you didn’t feel right with who you were. You wore the dresses, the skirts, joined the girls line when you were split off and you were ok with it, but it never felt right. You wanted to get your hands dirty, skin your knee, and you could do all of that with the girls, but you wanted to do it with the boys.
Your parents seemed to acknowledge this and your family just labeled you a tomboy. It wasn’t until your last year of middle school that you realized who you were, what you were. You were a boy, you were trans.
After going back and forth with yourself, you go to your parents with tears streaming down your face. With the way you and your parents were raised, it didn’t seem like they were going to be accepting.
“Are you done blubbering?” Your mom had asked you, which made you cry even more because you didn’t know if that could be good or bad. “We knew this could be a possibility with you just wanting to be with little boys.”
“Just because your grandparents have a skewed perspective on gender doesn’t mean we do.” Your dad joined in with a hand on your shoulder.
And with that started your transition journey. First with therapy, then doctor visits, and finally testosterone. When you started taking testosterone (end of sophomore year), you and your parents moved to give you a fresh start. With their careers, they could work anywhere as long as they could travel.
Plainview was just that, plain, but it got the job done so you can lay low. You couldn’t even point it out on a map, but it seemed like a great place to get a fresh start. Family homes, mom and pop shops, and maybe 6 schools around. No one knows you, seeing as you moved almost cross-country, so perfect.
Your first day wasn’t anything like you imagined. You thought you would be clocked immediately, especially since in the rush to move and get enrolled in school you had forgotten to get your haircut. You lucked out though, because the only reason someone (besides a teacher) came to talk to you was because of your Pearl Jam shirt.
That was the day you met Rodrick Heffley, resident “bad boy” with a band that wasn’t shit (you could say that seeing as you were in it) and a taste for rock and metal. That’s who came to talk about your shirt.
“You listen to Pearl Jam?” He asked, and you were immediately on the defense.
You knew you didn’t exactly look the part of emo metalhead, you had heard it your whole life growing up. “Listen to your normal music,” was a common one, and you won’t lie, it hurt. Especially from the popular white kids because it was just another tally mark against you.
“Yes? What about it?” You snapped.
“Woah, didn’t know I touched a nerve,” his face had reddened a little, but besides that it didn't change. “I was just gonna ask your favorite song.”
“Whatever,” you rolled your eyes. “I like Why Go from the Ten album.”
“Cool, cool, that’s a good one.” And then you both just stood there staring at each other. “Do you want to come over to my house after school?”
“I don’t even know you, kid,” you chuckled, “what are you, a kindergartener?”
“Well excuse me for trying to be nice.” He rolled his eyes. “I’m Rodrick.”
He held out his hand, which you hesitantly shook. “I’m (Y/N).”
“So are you coming over or what?”
And just like that he became one of the most important people in your life– along with his best friends; Drew, Ward, Chris, and Ben. Present day, you are never without Rodrick, and he, you. It doesn’t take a lot to convince the other to do something you probably shouldn’t, which leads to you guys getting in trouble a lot.
Like how one time towards the end of junior year in the middle of the night, Rodrick and you snuck out for a carnival almost 2 hours away. You had been relaxing at home, reading, when you heard little tinks coming from your window. You knew it was Rodrick throwing rocks at your window. He always did that when he’d sneak out of his house to come to yours.
“What the hell do you want?” You jokingly whisper-yelled as you opened your window.
“Come to a fair with me!” He whispered back.
“Last time I checked, the summer fair didn’t come until after school ended?”
“Because it’s not the one in Plainview, it’s the one in Huntington! Just come on!” He groans.
“First of all, I’m in pajamas!” You motioned up and down yourself. “Second of all, that’s almost two hours away!”
“So what, you’ve snuck out with me before! What makes this time any different? Come on, (Y/N), live a little!”
“Fuck it, fine!” and you closed your window to change. Your parents were long gone asleep, so you doubt they’d check on you, meaning you were in the clear.
You settled on baggy pants and a short sleeve, which is what you almost always wear, before you jumped out your window (you were on the second floor, yea, but your house wasn’t that big so it wasn’t a huge jump). Rodrick was waiting in his van, so you climbed into the passenger seat and set off.
You took a mini nap on the way, but after you woke up, you guys didn't shut up. From school to new albums, you talked about it all. You guys always were like this, (still were) even though at this point you’d only known each other a couple months. It scared you a little, how close you two had gotten in such a little period of time, mainly because you don’t want him to drop you because of who you were before.
“We’re here!” He pulled into a parking spot. You both climbed out of the van and met in front of it. “You brought your wallet, right?”
“Hanging with you? Of course not.” You deadpanned, before pulling out your wallet with a smile. “Why would I go to a fair without my wallet?”
He just rolled his eyes, slung his arm around your neck and walked to the ticket booth. Once in the fair, you guys set a plan to leave around 2:00 so you can get back in time for school.
You run around together, ride to ride, concession stand every chance you can get, and then barfing into a trash can. “I will never sneak out with you again.”
“Sure, ok,” Rodrick scoffed. “Come on, I want to ride the ferris wheel before going home!”
“Sure,” you rolled your eyes as you wiped your mouth, “just let me finish tossing my organs into this dumpster.”
“Let's go, smart ass.”
Surprisingly, there wasn’t a long line for the wheel. You’re on it in 5 minutes, and at the top in another 5.
“Told you it was worth it.” Rodrick teased as you looked out to the neon fair lights.
“Yea, yea, whatever,” you mumbled, too busy looking out at the eye widening view.
There’s a moment of silence. “Y’know, I’m glad we met each other.”
“Ew, don’t get all sentimental on me. Especially on a ferris wheel, that's just cringey.” You joke.
“I’m being serious!” He sighs. “Like I love the band, but I think me and you got closer in the span of a few months than me and them since middle school. It’s crazy.”
“Yea, sure, ok, dude,” you look back out to the lights. You couldn’t look him in the eyes because you had this warm feeling in your gut that you couldn’t place.
Rodrick doesn’t allow you to, though, as he grabs your face in one hand to make you look at him. “What the hell are you doing?”
“I want you to say it,” he stares into your eyes, seeming to search for something.
“Say what, jackass?” You feel your face catch on fire in the dark of the night.
“That I’m your best friend.” He looks so serious, and his eyes never leave yours.
“You’re my best friend,” you roll your eyes with a grin, “can you let me go now?”
“We’ll work on it.” He pats the side of your face and then faces the lights outside the wheel.
When you're both off the ferris wheel, you’re headed back home. The car ride home was silent, you in your own head and Rodrick seemed tired. You offered for him to stay over and sleep until school starts, but he declines, knowing his parents will wake him up in the morning.
You pull up to your house but just sit there for a second. “It was a bunch of fun, as always. Til we sneak out again.”
“See ya,” he smiles and lightly punches your shoulder.
“See ya, dude,” and you head to your house.
When you see him pull off, you lightly close your front door. As you turn around, your soul leaves your body.
“I don’t even want to know,” your mom holds her hand up to silence you. “Phone, now.”
You sigh, but do it.
It seemed that’s what happened with Rodrick, too, so for the rest of the school year you and Rodrick could only contact each other at school. He still snuck over, that wasn't going to stop.
You don’t regret leaving with him that night, because you had never had someone willingly be that close to you.
Currently, you’re all huddled up in the hot attic that is his room, but it was the only place without younger kids so you don’t complain much.
“Dude, I thought this year was gonna be it!” Rodrick complains as he lays upside down on his bed.
“Oh, it’s gonna be it, alright,” Ben rolls his eyes and throws a paper ball in Rodricks direction. “It’s going to be the year I finally strangle you if you mention Heather Hills one more time.” We all chuckle at how true it was.
Right now, he wouldn’t shut the fuck up about Heather Hills. Even though you had come in the middle of junior year, it was quick knowledge that he had a crush on her since middle school. At first it was cute, but after some unforeseen circumstances, you actually hated hearing her name. It wasn’t like you had a crush on him (It was), but the fact that she didn’t give him the time of day, and even when she did it was just to make fun of him or to have him do something.
“I second that, it’s fucking annoying,” you push him off the bed, seeing as you were on it right next to him.
“Ow, you dick!” he sits up and rubs his head.
“We’re, like, four months from graduating, if she wanted you, she would’ve said it.”
“Yea but-” Ward cuts him off.
“But nothing, bro, she don’t want your ass.”
It’s what you’ve been telling him this whole time, but you didn’t want to be too pressed about it because you didn’t want him to think you like her. You didn’t like her, you liked the one who liked her. You hadn’t realized it until you saw Heather sweetening him up one time and it hurt to watch– and not in a disgusted way.
You had no idea about your sexuality, you knew you liked boys even before you transitioned, but as you became more comfortable with yourself girls weren’t so bad either. You had been on a few dates with mostly girls (there weren’t many out guys in a small town, who knew?), but no one was Rodrick.
“I mean, I know, subconsciously,” he points to his head, “but she has this way of being in your head, no matter how mean she is.”
“Blah blah blah, bruh we don’t caaaarreee!” You roll your eyes and fall back on his bed. “She’s probably going to, like, Harvard or some shit and gonna marry rich. She doesn’t have time for loser guys like ourselves unless we can do something for her. It’s been that way since middle school, and it’ll be that way til the end of time”
“Major harsh, dude,” Drew pipes up.
“Whatever,” You get up and grab your backpack. “I’m going home, see you bozos tomorrow.”
You know why it bothers you so much, but you didn’t think you went that far. Hell, even Ward said something, but you were the one who was being “major harsh”? You roll your eyes as you stomp off to your house.
“Major harsh, my ass,” you murmur to yourself.
Tomorrow comes faster than you’d like. It wasn’t like you blew up on the guys, but you were pissed that you had been shut down. You kind of wanted to avoid them and go straight to class, but when you exit your house you see Rodricks van. The ride to school was pretty quiet except for the “good morning,” you all exchanged amongst yourselves.
“You were right,” Rodrick nudges you. When you give him a confused look, he goes on, “Heather is never gonna want me, and I’m taking myself off the market for other babes.”
“Oh, all those poor girls, saved,” you chuckle. Now you kind of feel bad, “but seriously, my bad if I went too far with what I was saying. I don’t have an excuse for what I said, but I am sorry.”
“Nah, I needed that good kick in the ass so I could wake up. Thanks, bro.” He playfully punches your shoulder.
“No problem, bro.”
As we pull up to school, you see Heather and her friends around their red convertible bug. You didn’t know whose it was, it was passed around more than a blunt in your group. Every morning they were there, and every morning Rodrick went to talk to them, talk to her, like clockwork.
“So are we skipping today, boys?” Rodrick suggests.
In a unison of ‘Hell Yea’s, you were the voice of reason. “Fuck no.”
They all groan, as they usually do when you’re right. We’re walking away from the van as you explain, “Y’all don’t have enough brain cells or credits to afford to skip. If yall want to blow this place, ya gotta graduate. You don’t even have to have honors.”
“Whatever, nerd,” Rodrick shoves you with a chuckle. “You can be a suck up and stay all day, but we’re outta here.”
“You can suck up on my balls, jackass,” you laugh and shove him back.
“You’d love that, wouldn’t you?” he shoves back.
“You’d love that!” but you don’t push him, you look in front of you.
You expected to see the red car, but you saw the stairs. You had passed the car?
You look behind you, and you still see the group talking about someone cheating on someone’s boyfriend, but you notice Heather Hills looking at you.
This wasn’t the first time Rodrick had ignored Heather for you, but that was at lunch. He always talked to her in the morning. You don’t know why, but you knew that this was her last straw.
When you had first moved here, you weren’t on her radar until you had talked to him. She was just standing off to the side and you didn’t realize it then, but he was just talking to her and stopped to talk to you. You could feel her glare, but when you looked at her she gave you a sugary sweet smile. That wasn’t the last time you would see that fake smile, but after this morning you knew it would be.
“I don’t know what you told him, but you need to untell him.”
The voice wasn’t unfamiliar to you, but you weren’t used to it being directed at you.
“Hi, Heather, how are you on this beautiful day?” You smile at her, though it was probably closer to a grimace.
“Cut the shit, you heard me.” She growls as you put your stuff in your locker.
“Why does it have to be me saying anything to him? Maybe he actually grew some balls and a brain.”
“You’re like a lost puppy around him, of course you said something.”
“Well, Heather,” you huff as you drop your bag and face her, “he used to follow you around like a lost puppy and I got sick of it because you were using him. I don’t know why it bothered me so much, but it did, so I told him that.”
“I know why,” she leans closer to your face with a whisper. “It’s because you’re a gay little bitch who hopes he looks in your direction but he wouldn’t even spit near you. I see how you look at him, but just remember he looks at me like that.”
“Ok,” you roll your eyes. “Why do you care so much? You admitted several times that you don’t like him.”
“He needs to like me, not the other way around. It gives other guys the idea that they can be with me and I can get gifts out of it. So if you don’t fix this, I can get so much dirt on you it’d make your head spin.”
“I think the bleach fumes are finally getting to your brain,” you scoff, trying not to seem nervous. You didn’t think that she could get to your secret, but that bitch has power in high places. But you had come so far without being outed, so you didn’t think it’d happen this close to your escape. “I don’t know what to tell you. I’m not gonna do that because you’re a bitch who doesn’t deserve any attention.”
She slams your locker in your face, “You’ll regret that.” And as she walks away you roll your eyes and mumble a “bitch”.
She doesn’t even want him, but I can’t have him? Whatever, bitch.
You decided to keep your little interaction from Rodrick and the gang because you knew it’d open up a) what she could find on you and b) did Heather actually like Rodrick and she’s lying? You just let them lead the conversation as you try to rationalize with yourself.
How would she find out your trans? You’ve been stealth for a year and your school medical records are locked up tight. She can’t out anything but you being gay and even that was a little chest tightening. At least you’ll still be a man, even if it was a gay one. Being outed as trans could shatter people’s perception of you and you’ll be that weird “girl” again.
“What are you thinking so hard about?” Rodrick asks you and you realize you’re the only two in the van now.
“Nothing, just exhausted. I need to be asleep right now,” you pretend to rub your eyes.
“Whatever you say, dude,” he sighs, but puts his hand on your shoulder and looks you in the eyes. “I’m here whenever you wanna talk, you seem to have a lot on your mind.”
It makes you freeze. It’s not like he isn’t always like this, he’s your best friend, but it doesn’t help after your conversation with Heather. He does this with every guy in the group, he may put on a front of being a dick to his brother, Greg, but he really cares for his friends. You have to convince yourself that this was just that, nothing more.
“Eyes on the road, weirdo,” you shrug his arm off with a nervous laugh. “I told you I was fine, I’m just tired.”
“Ok, dude,” he rolls his eyes.
Before you know it, he drops the rest of the guys off at their houses. You’re usually the last one to get dropped off since more often than not you’re the first one to be picked up. But when Rodrick passes your house, you have more than a few questions.
“Where the hell are you taking me?” You sigh.
“Obviously you won’t tell me what’s actually wrong, so we’re going to hang out til that frown turns upside down!” He smiles as he passes his house, too.
“How did I become friends with such a cornball? Aren’t you supposed to be the resident bad boy, go back to that.”
“You know you love me,” he smirks.
More than you know, that’s the reason I’m in this mess! You almost say, but stick with, “Sure, whatever you say.”
You know exactly what he’s going to do, you guys do it every time one of y’all are going through it. Head to the gas station to get slushies and snacks, then go out to your favorite clearing in the woods. He even does it with Greg sometimes, even though he likes to act like he hates his younger brothers.
“Isn’t the point of a slushy to mix all of the flavors together?” Rodrick rolls his eyes.
“We have this conversation every time we come here, I get two flavors that compliment each other! All of those flavors confuse your mouth and you lose taste buds.”
“You lie just like my mother, which means you lie like shit.” And for that you slap his shoulder. “OW!”
“Don’t talk about Susan like that!” You say, jokingly offended. You go to hit him again, but he grabs your hand.
“You’re a fucking nut case.”
“OMG!” You hear an all too familiar voice excitedly yelp. “I thought I heard your voice!”
“Oh, hey Heather.” Rodick turns to talk to her, forgetting to let go of your hand. “What are you doing in here?”
“My friends wanted to stop in here to get some junk.” She waves her hand behind her and rolls her eyes. “I obviously don’t eat stuff like that, I mean, look at me.” Rodrick doesn’t even glance down when she motions at herself.
“Good for you, me and (Y/N) are actually in here for some snacks, too.”
She finally looks at you, and then at you and Rodricks combined hands. You squirm under her stare and take your hand out of Rodricks. He looks at you in seeming confusion, but doesn’t say anything.
“I didn’t see you there, hey (Y/N)!” She has a smile on her face, but you can see in her eyes the amount of hatred she has for you.
“Hey, Heather…” You almost whisper, and then turn to seem busy with your slushy.
“Well, we should get out of here, bye Heather.”
“Oh, yeah, I think my friends went back to the car, so I should head out, too.” She turns to leave, but looks back over her shoulder and waves seductively. “Bye, Rodrick!”
When you hear the front door bell ring, you finally release the breath you had been holding in. “Holy shit,” you whisper to yourself.
“What was that?” Rodrick turns to you with a smile and points behind him. “She’s never willingly came up to me unless she needs something. And she just wanted…conversation?”
“Your guess is as good as mine,” You paint on a smirk even though your heart is racing. She had seen you with Rodrick, holding hands (completely his fault!), and he couldn’t be any less interested in her! You just know your fate is sealed.
“Well, let’s get this shit paid for and go.” He grabs up your food and you grab the slushies.
With everything paid for, you guys hop back into the van and head into the trail a few blocks down. It wasn’t anything official, but you hadn’t gotten in trouble for being out here, so yall just kept going.
You park the van and head into the back, opening the doors for some fresh air.
“So are you ready to tell me what’s up?” Rodrick asks after a few sips of his slushy abomination.
“I told you that I’m just exhausted.” You keep up your front.
“And I told you that you lie like my mom,” he sighs. “So you might as well just spill it.”
“It’s just something that me and my family have to deal with, you don’t have to worry about it!” You know if you bring your family into it, he’ll stop pushing it because he knows your parents don’t play.
“Ok, ok, I’ll let it go.” He raises his hand in defense.
You don’t respond, and you guys are submerged into silence once again. You exchange looks when you don’t think the other is looking, but besides that you take in the forest around you.
Heather could never experience these moments with Rodrick and understand how precious it is. Rodrick has always been the weird “bad boy” (people literally only say this because of his clothes and that makes you roll your eyes) who some of the girls wanted but if it got out they did like him, they’d be made fun of. You see how some of the girls look at him when he isn’t looking, and it hurts your heart. You know they have more of a chance than you ever would.
But with you, he was never like this. He was the goofy, caring friend who’d drop everything if you said the word. Heather only sees him as an object that gives her affection, but you see him as he truly is; a guy who loves and just wants it back. He just wants to be seen.
“Y’know you’re my best friend, right?” You blurt before you can think about it.
“Only took you a year to be genuine about it,” he nudges your shoulder.
“What?”
“The ferris wheel.” He states like you’re just supposed to know. And you do.
“You still remember that?” You gape.
“Anyway, yes I am your best friend, just like how you’re mine.” He grins at you, and then he drops it, “you’re not planning anything are you?”
“Oh my god, a guy can’t express his appreciation for his best friend?” You throw your hands up.
“I’m watching you,” he squints his eyes and points at you.
You get a text from your mom wondering where you are, and that’s the end of your little outing with Rodrick.
When he drops you home, Heather is the furthest thing from your mind, even though you know holding Rodricks hand (even though it wasn’t even purposely!) would be a slight against you.
Over the next two weeks, Heather's empty threat went to the back burner of your mind. If she wanted to out you, it would’ve happened by now. I’m safe, you sighed in relief.
Rodrick continued not to go up to her in the morning, but if she talked to him he definitely talked back. It seemed to calm her attitude toward you now, but it still was a hot seat around her. Like now, she’s passing around flyers for her party this weekend and intentionally passed by you.
“Rodrick, you’re definitely coming to my party this weekend, right?” She bats her eyelashes. “I need your band Soiled Diper to play!”
“It’s Löded Diper,” you correct and she glares at you, “and when have you ever wanted us to play anywhere near you?”
“Us?” She scoffs at you. “I just want the main band, not some wannabe.”
“Woah,” Rodrick stops her. “(Y/N) is an actual part of the band, so no him, no band.”
“Him? If that’s what you wanna say, sure.” And to the untrained ear it could just be her upset that he isn’t going along to exclude you, but you know what she means. As you perk up and look in her eyes, she’s already looking at you with a knowing smirk.
She knows. FUCK how does she know?
“I’m fine with not going, Rod,” you try to sway him. This cannot be fucking happening.
“No, it’s either all of us or none of us.”
Of course now he wants to be a fucking hero right now. He doesn’t get that this is social suicide FOR ME! Social homicide? Not important right now.
“Ok,” she has that sugary sweet fake smile. “Don’t come, then. Remember what I said.”
That last part was for you, you know it, and your blood runs cold. Fuck.
The rest of the day you’re on the edge of your seat, thinking what she might do. How the fuck did she even find out? You weren’t on social media much pre-transition, so barely any photos of you before exist. And like you said, your medical records were locked up tight.
Whatever, you try to convince yourself. She won’t do anything! She would’ve already.
You make it home with no one running around talking about your biggest secret, so your anxiety has allowed you to breathe again.
You decide to finally talk to your mom about this because who else will understand?
“You’re right to be afraid, but you’re also right about her doing it when she finally found something on you.” Your mom rubs your hair as you lay in her lap.
“It’s like I can’t get into her mind and I seriously want to. Like what is she planning?” Your thoughts literally won’t shut up. You haven’t had to worry about stuff like this for close to 2 years, and now its like your whole world is about to collapse
“For her sake, I hope nothing because I’m not above beating a little girl's ass!” And you know she’s being for real. Your mom doesn’t play around.
“Mom,” you roll your eyes.
“So, she thinks you like Rodrick…What’s up with that?”
“You know the answer if you’re asking,” you sigh.
“Do you want any advice on that? I say you should go for it.” Your mom shrugs.
“Absolutely not, because if this does come out I don’t want him weirded out by me being trans and gay.” You don’t even know if you are gay gay, but you know it’d make you that if you ask him out.
“I think you’re safe, but if something does blow, I’m in your corner.” She holds up her fist playfully to show it.
“Thank you, Mom.” You finally felt at peace with the whole thing. You trust your mom and feel like it will all blow over.
If only you knew.
The next morning, you walk with a pep in your step. You decide to walk to school, texting Rodrick you didn’t need a ride. It took a little longer to walk than drive, so you knew they’d beat you there.
When you finally showed up, people were staring at you, but it didn’t bother you much. People looked at you and the gang weirdly all the time, it just happened. It was when you finally made your way inside that all hell broke loose.
Random whispers were rampant through the hall, but when you walked by it would stop. Whatever, they were probably just talking about what you were wearing like always. You shrugged and went to find the guys.
You were right in front of them in the cafeteria and about to speak when that sugary voice stopped you, “Hey, [Redacted]!” It exclaimed.
You could’ve thrown up right then and there. You whip around to face Heather, “What the hell did you just call me?”
“Should I tell her or are you guys going to be good friends?”
“Guys, what is she talking about?” You turn to them and the look on their faces say it all.
They Know. Everyone knows.
Ben turns his phone around and you have to will yourself to not spill your breakfast out onto the concrete. It’s a screenshot from one of your parents' private Facebooks from two or three years ago with a title that stated your deadname.
The “girl” in the picture was going to homecoming, and it was obvious that it was you. Your face was softer, caked with makeup, and your hair was longer. The caption had your name and said that you were indeed going to homecoming.
“This picture was private, how the fuck?” You were whispering to yourself. You’re frozen in place, you can’t look anywhere but Ben’s phone.
“How could you hide this from your friends?” Heather fake gasps. “Pretending to be a boy? Going into the boys bathroom and locker room? What a freak!” and her whole group laughs. When you didn’t respond, she kept going, “Like, can you guys believe it? She’s pretending to be a boy to get close to you, and I even heard she had a little crush on one of you!”
That made you bark out a sob. Holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit holy-
“It’s crazy! Right, Rodrick?” and that snaps you out of it.
You glance at him, and he looks angry. Probably at you for lying to him. You darted away, looking for an exit because all you can think about is going home. You hear your name called after you, but you don’t care.
“What the hell are you doing home? Classes literally just started.” Your mom asks as she’s cuddled up with your dad. You don’t answer her, and just run up to your room, sobbing.
“Woah, woah woah, hey!” They get up to go after you.
When you get to your room, you don’t close your door knowing they’re after you. You shut your phone down and just throw yourself onto your bed, trying to stop your tears.
“Son, what’s wrong? What happened at school?” My dad knocks on the open door.
“Heather Hills,” you say through your pillow. Even if your dad didn’t get it, your mom did.
“She didn’t…”
“She did though, Mom!” You cry out, turning to face them. “She outed me to the whole school! She somehow found one of your Facebooks, got into it and found an old picture of me going to homecoming, and she shared it with the whole school!”
“Are you serious?” Your dad balls up his fist.
“Not only that, but she said that I was pretending to be a guy! Said I was doing it to get close to Rodrick, basically told him I liked him, and made me seem like this big ass weirdo!”
“We need to do something about this,” your mom says, and she sounds pissed. “This has to be some sort of harassment!”
“Your mother is right, we need to contact the school-”
“NO, please,” you start. “What’s done is done, I don’t want this bigger than it is!”
“(Y/N)!-”
“Mom, please listen to me!” You’re exasperated at this point. “Heather has the whole school behind her. Her parents are RICH, so if we try to do anything, it’ll just make everything worse!”
“I don’t give a fuck about her parents! She hurt my baby and she needs to be held accountable!”
“I don’t want to be in the middle of any more drama!” You groan. “I just want to figure this out quietly and on my own. I don’t want to talk to anyone about it and I just want to be left alone!”
“Ok, ok,” your dad sighs and puts a hand on your head. “If that’s what you want, we won’t push it,” he turns to your mom, “won’t we?”
“Yea, I guess,” she rolls her eyes, but gives a weak smile. “But at any point you need any help or she does anything else, we’re in your corner.”
“Thank you for understanding.”
“Get some rest, son,” your dad pats your shoulder. “You look like you need it.”
“I’ll try.”
But you knew you weren’t going to be able to sleep. You avoid your phone because you didn’t want to be contacted by anyone, but especially Rodrick. You didn’t want to know his disgust with you, didn’t want to know how much he thought that Heather was right.
Without the distraction of your phone, your room and the house was too quiet. You could hear your parents downstairs, trying not to be angry about your situation and watching television. Your mind keeps replaying you looking at Ben’s phone, ears ringing in anger and worry. You’re so horrified, afraid you’ve lost all of your friends. You were supposed to graduate without anyone finding out. What was the point of a fresh start if you were just gonna have to deal with all that you wanted to avoid at your old home?
You hear someone knock on your front door, and even being that far away from it you heard Rodricks voice. This time you can’t stop your stomach from lurching and you run to the bathroom.
As you flush the toilet, you hear the door close and footsteps up the stairs. That makes you pray on the bathroom floor to anything that could hear you to not make you talk to him yet.
“Hey, baby, you alright?” Your mom’s voice fills you with relief and seems to calm your stomach.
“No,” you say truthfully. You didn’t feel like lying right now, “I feel like everything is over for me.”
“You heard him, didn’t you?”
“Not what he said, but I heard his voice,” you admit.
“Then I think you should answer your phone.” And with that, she leads you back to your room, kisses your forehead, and goes back downstairs.
You don’t turn your phone back on until the next day. You still felt sick, and no matter how much you tried to eat you just couldn’t. You stayed home from school and your parents didn’t argue, but they still had to go out for work. Not a full trip, but they had to go to the next town over.
You had less messages than you thought you would, but it’s still crazy. Drew, Ward, Chris, Ben, and even Bill messaged you, but you didn’t care about all of them because one name caught your eye. Rodrick.
It was four messages; are you home??, answer me!, i’m coming over. were the first three, but the last message was a video.
It starts staring at the floor, and then it’s pointed to a group of people. You can make out you, the gang, and Heather behind you. You take off running, but the recording doesn’t stop there.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Rodrick stands up and gets in Heather's face.
“What?” she laughs in disbelief.
“You heard what I said!”
“Are you seriously defending her over me? I thought you liked me?!” You can hear the fakeness in her voice.
“That was before you decided to spread lies about my friend! He has done nothing to you!” the emphasis on the “he” makes your eyes widen. “You’re gonna stop talking shit about my best friend to my face! You’re such a fake bitch! I don’t know how I ever liked you…”
“Don’t tell me you’re seriously picking her over me? You must be more homo than her to like that wannabe boy.”
“Are you fucking serious?” The rest of the guys pipe up and start to surround Heather.
“He is a guy, and if you think anything other than it, you must be stupider than I thought,” Ben steps up.
“And so what if I like him? Just know I don’t like you, not anymore.” Rodrick is the angriest you’ve ever seen him, it’s kind of hot scary.
“Whatever, you’re all just losers. Lets go,” she turns and walks off with her crew.
That’s where the video ends.
You couldn’t stop rewatching it in amazement. He had stood up to Heather Hills for you without hesitation. Had said he liked you to Heather Hills. To basically the entire school, if this video has already gone around.
You debate whether or not you wanted to talk to him, but your need for your best friend wins over your need to hide. You slip on your shoes and head out.
You live a little over 5 minutes away from Rodrick even though he drives you guys everywhere. You know you could’ve told him to come over to your house, but it’s nice to finally get some fresh air. Plus, his mom was always nice to see when you went over his house.
When you get there, you see his van parked in the driveway near the garage. You have to hype yourself up to knock on the front door, but once you do it’s like a wave of nausea comes crashing over you.
I can’t do this, oh my god. What have I-
Before you can finish your thoughts, the door opens. You half expect it to be Rodrick, but it’s just Greg.
“Hey, kid.” You do a little wave as if you haven’t met him before. Whenever you come over, you tend to see Greg and Rowley, too. Most of the time they’re just in the living room, but they sometimes come up to the attic just to get chewed out by Rodrick, especially when it’s just you two up there.
“Hey, (Y/N),” he smiles, “where’ve you been?”
“Yknow.” You wring your hands. “Around.”
You can barely get words out. Does Greg know? Did Rodrick tell his family about what his best friend is?
“Rodrick should be upstairs in his room.” Greg moves out of the way so you can step into the house. “He’s been moping up there since yesterday, I don’t even think he’s left it today.”
“He didn’t go to school?” It’s not surprising, he’s always skipping, but you know it’s because of what went down yesterday.
“Nope,” Greg shakes his head. “Look, I don’t know what happened between you guys, because he only acts like this when he can’t see you, but I think you guys will work it out. It’s like me and Rowley, just less romantical.”
“W-what-” you sputter out. “I don’t-”
“Sure, whatever you want to tell yourself.” Greg cuts you off with an eye roll. “Like I said, he’s upstairs.”
“Thanks, kid.” Your face is on fire.
And with that, you mount the stairs to the attic. Is your crush on Rodrick really that obvious that even his family can see it? And with the way Greg was talking it seems to be reciprocated. You heard it come out of Rodrick’s own mouth, but what if he just said that so Heather could leave you alone?
You’re in front of his door before you can finish your thoughts. You knock, ready to get this over with.
“Mom, I told you I’ll be ok, just leave me alone!” You hear him call out.
“Not your mom, last time I checked.” You say, a soft smile grows on your face from hearing his voice.
You hear him leap up off of his bed and trip over something, but it doesn’t seem to phase him as he runs to open the door.
“(Y/N),” he breathes out.
“Hey,” you can barely look him in the face. “Can I come in?”
“Yea, yea, come in!” He pulls you through the door.
Once in his room, it’s like you’ve never set foot in it. You don’t know what to do, where to sit. It all feels new to you for some reason.
“Dude, just sit down somewhere.” Rodrick laughs at your newfound confusion.
You decide to sit on his bed, which you do every time you come over. You and Rodrick always sit on opposite ends of the bed so you can look at each other, which this time is no different.
You just sit there, staring at each other. You decide to break the ice. “It’s true, all of it. I don’t know how Heather got that picture, but I was a girl for most of my life up until now. Please, don’t hate me.”
“I’m not going to lie, it made me mad that I had to find out through Heather Hills,” he sighs, “but then again it’s none of my business. You were doing it to protect yourself, so I get it and I don’t have a right to be mad. I could never hate you over something like that though.”
You just sit there with your mouth open. You knew subconsciously that he couldn’t have hated you, but you had grown up hearing all the hatred people had for people like you. You had no choice to be on the defense when coming over here, no matter what you heard.
“I just-” You start. “I just, I know you’re my best friend, and I should’ve trusted you with this, but I couldn’t. I’ve never had anyone but my parents know. Their families don’t even know, that’s the whole reason we moved here.”
“Would you have ever told me?” He asks, kind of quiet.
“Maybe.” You shrug honestly. “I was too worried about trying to survive high school without a slip up to think that far ahead.”
“Oh,” is all he answers.
It’s another drowning silence. You’ve never had an awkward silence in your entire friendship, this is freaking you out.
“Did you watch the video I sent you?” Rodrick speaks up.
“Yea, it was the first thing I saw when I turned my phone back on.” Another beat of silence. “It was the only reason I came over here to talk to you.”
“Did you watch the whole thing?”
“Only a hundred times,” you smile evilly. “I love watching that barbie wannabe get put in her place.”
“Yea, that was great to do,” his voice lowers, “but that’s not what I was talking about.”
“I know.” You whisper and look him in the eyes.
You just sit there staring at each other, and then Rodrick looks down at your lips. It was so quick you could’ve missed it if you blinked, but you saw it. Just go for it.
“Are you going to kiss me, or just think about it?” You try to sound confident, but it ends up a quiet squeak.
His eyes widen, but he begins to inch over to you until you’re pressed up against each other. “Is this okay?” His whisper tickles your lips.
You just nod, eyes never leaving his. You don’t know who leans in first, but your lips are together in a flash. Your grip on his shirt is tight, as if when you let go it’ll all disappear. Your mouths almost move in unison, like you’re trying to devour the other. You can barely breath, feeling like this isn’t real. You dreamed about this moment for so long and now that it’s here it’s like you’re ascending.
You are the one who pulls away first, needing to breathe. Rodrick doesn’t seem like he wants to stop, kissing down your jaw to your neck. While you're breathing softly, you hear a knock at his door. That doesn’t stop Rodrick though.
“Rodrick,” you breath out as a warning.
“Hm,” he hums indifferently. Before you both know it, his door opens.
“Rodrick, you need to leave this- OH MY GOD!” His mother screams out.
“MOM!” Rodrick jumps away from you in fear and shock.
You’re all just stuck looking at both of them staring at each other before you break the silence.
“Hey, Ms. Susan…”
After that you are put through a lecture with his mom and dad. You guys can’t be upstairs alone without Greg being a buffer, door open at all times even with the other guys there. They, of course, texted your parents about what they found so that's gonna be fun to go home to. But you felt like none of that mattered because you got what you wanted. You didn’t lose your friends, and you even gained a boyfriend.
He offers to drive you home, which you take because you want to be close to him for a little longer. So you wave goodbye to his parents and get into the van.
You hold hands on the way to your house.
“We’re glad you decided to come back to school,” Rodrick squeezes your hand. “It’s been so boring.”
“First of all, I was gone one day,” you roll your eyes in fake annoyance. “And second of all, you literally didn’t even go yesterday!”
“But it’s always boring whenever I don’t get to see you, baby.” He wiggles his shoulders against yours.
All the guys groan in fake disgust. “Yall are so corny, break up already.” Ben gags.
“I didn’t even say anything!” You throw your hands up, taking one of Rodricks hands with you.
“Cringe by association.” And you roll your eyes in true annoyance.
“Are you sure you’re ready to go back?” Rodrick interrupts. “We could just go back to your house and hang out for the day.”
“I’m sure you’d love that,” you shove his arm, “but if I keep skipping, it’ll be like she won. Plus I’m not losing my straight A streak because of that bimbo.”
“Fine,” he huffs. “I can’t wait for the last day, school is so boring.”
“I thought without me it was boring?” You raise an eyebrow.
“You know what I mean.” He kisses your cheek.
“Yuck,” one of the guys laughs out behind your back.
“Shut the fuck up so we can get this day over with.” You flip them off.
You’re, of course, joking because you know you couldn’t have gone through this without them. After your talk with Rodrick, you all had a group hangout and talked through all of this. They let you know the whole time that they were 100% on your side. They were your boys and you were theirs.
Maybe the rest of the year won't be hell. You got the guy, smited the girl, and even if you were outed, you had all the friends you needed with you already. You were going to be fine.
77 notes · View notes
cryonme · 2 years ago
Text
𝐋𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐀𝐭 𝐔𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐰 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏
—graham dunne x fem!reader
—summary: the story of you and graham dunne was never simple, but his love for you never faltered.
— word count: 2.7k
—tw: addiction, implied drugging, alcohol, cursing, reader says she "doesn't wanna be here anymore", very obvious signs of mental illness, the works...
—a/n: so... I did not intend for this fic to be this long or this sad, but here we are. I'm breaking it into two parts so its easier to read, part two is coming shortly!! I apologize for how sad this is lol but I promise its a happy ending story! also, sorry for how I wrote daisy! she's my girl and I love her, it was just for the plot I swear! this is the first fic I've posted in about 6 months so im rusty, please be kind! and please, don't read if anything listed in the triggers is going to upset you, I want you all happy and comfortable! XO
(flashbacks in italics)
Nothing was ever Daisy’s fault, was it?
At least, that’s what Graham Dunne thought when he got a call from Karen saying his girl was wasted at a party with Daisy attached to your hip.
She should have known what you were struggling with, she should have known that you couldn’t handle a party, she should have known this wasn’t what you needed. Daisy Jones should’ve fucking known.
To be completely fair, they really all should’ve known. You’d been around since day 1. Everyone knew better, Daisy just happened to be the red corvette.
-
“You can’t keep doing this, my love.” Camilla whispered oh so gently, holding your hair back from your face, pressing a cold rag to your neck.
It was a small gig, at some shitty bar called Tony’s in Pittsburgh. The band always had a couple beers and maybe a shot or two before a show but you had begun to need more. You snuck vodka into your water bottles and begged the bartenders to sneak you a couple free extras by pulling your top down and leaning over the bar, using your forearms to push your tits up. 
It worked every time. Pigs.
“Can do whatever I want.” You slurred, cheek pressed to the toilet seat.
But damnit, you knew she was right.
Tony’s wasn’t the first time.
There was Rod’s, and The Ladie’s Room, and The Shiner Saloon, and some girl named Lisa’s 18th birthday party. It was becoming a pattern, everyone could tell.
You always went back to your house after a show. Your parents had been completely absent since you were 15, you never knew where they were. And after every show, their cars were never once in the driveway.
A safespace.
Billy would sit outside of the bathroom, head leaning against the door while Graham waited in the living room, arms crossed and head down, not wanting to listen to your cries and shakes of pain.
Eddie would retreat to the guest room, but he usually wouldn’t be able to fall asleep til he heard the click of your door next to his.
Warren would be passed out on the couch as soon as you all walked through the door, not that he didn’t care about you immensely, but the poor kid could just not stay awake if he was tired.
“I wanna go to bed.” You said.
Camilla sighed, “Are you sure you’re ready?”
You nodded and so did Camilla. She got up to get Billy like she always did, and he’d come and pick you up off of the bathroom floor, as he always did, and carry you to your room and lay you on the bed, letting Camilla make sure you’re comfortable, like she always did.
Graham would come in and ask how you’re doing, like he always did, and he’d make himself comfortable on your floor with throw pillows and spare blankets, like he always did.
But that night, after Tony’s, things changed.
“I can’t do this anymore, Graham.” You whimpered.
Fuck.
This was early days, Graham was still awkward as hell and didn’t know how to go about things like this.
“Do what?” He croaked, mustering up the courage to be there for you.
“This. I can’t live like this. I’m afraid I’m gonna kill myself.”
Graham was up in an instant, reaching for the doorknob. “Do you want me to get Camilla?”
You shook your head, “No, please. Just-” You wiped a tear from your cheek, “Will you just lay with me?”
“Anything.” Graham breathed as he settled into bed next to you. You immediately wrapped your arms around him, being too drunk to care about any awkwardness and Graham was thankful.
“We’ll get you out of this, promise.”
-
That was the last time anybody saw you drink anything besides a beer or two, following that was shirley temples and cherry cokes.
Nobody really knew the heaviness of addiction then, but they knew that you were happier, and that’s all that really mattered to them. You were even laughing at Warren’s jokes and Billy and Eddie’s lame bickering, everything felt okay.
“You don’t drink?” Karen had asked, the first time you properly met in California, while she was digging through the fridge searching for a beer. You shook your head, hoping you weren’t going to get some crazy reaction like you were a zoo animal in a cage like you got from most people.
She just nodded, a small smile playing at her lips as she pulled two coca cola bottles from the fridge, popping them open with her ring and handing you one.
“Cheers to that.”
You were sober enough to realize you were in love with Graham, and confident enough to tell him. And man, he could’ve exploded.
There was a celebration, at the house in Laurel Canyon, just the 7 of you.
Warren recalls later that Graham looked like he’d been dipped in sunshine and rainbows.
“Like he’d just smoked sunshine and been fucked by a rainbow. It was crazy, man.”
Well, almost.
You’d been around the band multiple times while they drank and it was never a problem. You’d have the first round of beers with them then tap out, but you always stayed and had fun, smoked a couple joints and cigarettes, never without a mocktail or coca cola in your hand. Sometimes, usually Karen or Camilla, someone would join you on the sober night, and that always felt really nice.
That night had felt different, you were scared.
-
“I’m gonna fuck him up Warren…” You said as you laid on the floor with the drummer as Down By The Seaside by Led Zeppelin played from the record player, Warren laughed.
“Yeah you are.” He said, his tone suggestive as he bumped his elbow with yours.
You rolled your eyes, fighting the heat creeping into your cheeks. “You know what I mean, man. I’m gonna ruin him.”
Warren had known you long enough and listened to enough of the songs you wrote to where he’d like to think he knew you pretty well.
And you never opened up out of the blue unless you were drunk.
“Have you been drinking?” He asked, not looking up from the ceiling. You scoffed.
“I still have a beer here and there, Warren.”
“You know what I mean, man.” He repeated your words back to you and you felt like you couldn’t breathe.
“I’m going to bed.” You said and stood up, trying your hardest not to stumble or slur.
“Honey…” Warren started, pushing himself off of the floor to try to stop you.
“NO!” You whipped around, flipping your hair so forcefully it stung your face but you were quick to pull it back.
“Don’t fucking- don’t fucking do that, man!” You started, holding a hand up. “My own friends don’t even fucking trust me i’m just constantly babied! Do you know how that feels?”
At that point, Karen, Eddie and Billy had tuned in, being in the kitchen. Camilla and Graham must have been elsewhere, he had always confided in her like a sister.
“Hey–” Billy tried to interject with a hand on your wrist but you were quick to pull away.
“Huh?! Do any of you know how that feels?!” You were borderline screaming now, and everyone was speaking to you so softly, hands slowly trying to grasp you and it made you want to scream even louder.
“How dare you ‘ccuse me of something like that asshole?” You were beginning to slur your words, the tequila you’d snuck from Warren’s room starting to hit pretty heavily, making your eyes droop and words slur.
“Baby, please-” Karen started, making the move to grasp your arm but you turned and lost your balance, nearly falling but Eddie was quick to catch you, he held on tight and didn’t dare let go until you calmed down or Graham came back. Billy had left minutes ago to find him and Camilla, who had taken a walk so he could freely gush about his new girl without the chances of anyone else hearing.
“Need you to calm down, babe.” Eddie whispered, running a hand up and down your arm for comfort.
“None of you even care!”
Warren shook his head alongside Karen, both of them had squatted in front of you, doing their best to provide what you needed.
“That’s not true.”
“I fucking hate you all!” 
“You don’t mean that.”
“I don’t wanna be here anymore!”
And then he said your name.
You froze.
He was gonna leave you, you were so sure of it. You worked so hard to be better for him and it didn’t work.
“No…” You whimpered and you swore you saw Graham break in front of your eyes.
“You can’t- you can’t see this.”
But he didn’t care. He knelt in front of you and Eddie and gathered you into his own arms, completely silent as he carried you to his room and you wanted to disappear into him so badly.
“‘M so sorry…” You slurred, and still he was quiet. You let him undress you and replace your pretty top and flared jeans with his own tee shirt and boxer shorts.
You watched as he changed into a similar outfit as you picked at your nails. “Graham, I-”
He sighed and placed his hands on either sides of your cheeks, placing a firm kiss on your forehead that only made you cry harder. You brought your hands up to grip his wrists, not willing to let go of the feeling of his lips on your skin.
“I’ve ruined everything, haven’t I?”
Graham was silent again as he pulled you into his bed with him, covering you both with the large duvet.
“Not in the slightest.”
-
That night was really the last night anybody had seen you get drunk like that.
Then, Daisy Jones came along.
And you learned how to keep bad habits a secret.
Tequila and mints in the bathroom, water and cherry cokes with the band. A shot of jameson to fall asleep. Champagne to wake up, brush your teeth. A beer in the shower after lunch, leave the evidence in Warren’s room since there were hundreds of empty ones anyway.
It’s not like Daisy was teaching you one on one, you just started watching her, and you liked the way she got away with it.
No one told Daisy about your issue either, you could hold your own and you had asked them not to, so lips were sealed.
But it took everything in Graham and Billy not to tell her to tread lightly every time they saw the two of you sneak off on your own.
And now here was Graham Dunne, sitting in the driver's seat of the van outside of God knows who’s house, with Camilla in the passenger’s seat and Billy in the back. Moral support. 
“Want us to come with you?”
Graham shook his head. “I need to do this alone.”
Billy scoffed, “I’m not gonna let you go in there with our two hot headed alcoholic rage sisters. Cam, you stay here.”
“Nope, you go I go. You two get our girl, I’ll handle Daisy.”
The three bickered a moment but finally settled on their plan. Graham and Camilla would take you, while Karen and Billy took Daisy, since the blonde girl drove.
“Fucking finally.” Karen exasperated as she saw her friends walk into the backyard of the party while trying her hardest to hold you upright.
“Where is Daisy?” Billy spat immediately, making eyes around the party. You had always been like a sister to him, in the way Camilla was to Graham, and he could’ve killed the redheaded girl in that moment.
“Beats me.” Karen said, passing off your deadweight into Graham, who was quickly supported by Billy. Your head lulled onto your boyfriend's shoulder, recognizing him as a source of comfort even in your inebriated state.
It made his soul ache.
“Is Simone here?” Camilla asked.
Karen shook her head, “Was. Split as soon as she and Daisy got into a fight. Offered to take this one” she nodded her head at you “home with her but I figured it’d be best if you guys came.”
Graham shook his head, “You made the right call, thank you.”
“Yeah, well uh, I sure as hell can’t drive. Got drunk as hell before even stepping foot in the backyard, soon as I saw (Y/n) I stepped in and called you guys immediately.”
“Do we need to get Daisy?”
“That’s a fight you sure as hell don’t wanna have. Yelled at me just for taking ‘her best friend’ away from her to get her some water.”
Billy rolled his eyes.
Graham and Billy began making their way out of the party with you slung around their shoulders, and Camilla walking arm in arm with a very drunk Karen who kept tripping over feet.
And suddenly red hair and sparkling eyes were in front of them.
“Ohhh no, what happened to my girl?” She tried to touch your face but Billy pulled you away, ready to say something before Graham spoke up, surprising everyone.
“Your girl, Daisy?!” His voice boomed, no doubt you’d be embarrassed if you were in any way conscious. “This is my girl, our girl.” He gestured to the rest of the group. “And I’d say it’s in your best interest to leave her the hell alone from now on.”
-
Graham was a mess when he got you home.
Daisy ended up at the house not too long after the rest, explaining she didn’t know the situation, apologizing profusely, informing them all you had been drinking for months. She told them in a sullen voice that you hadn’t been this bad last time she saw her, that she thinks someone must have done it to you.
Graham understood, he did. But he couldn’t look at Daisy. How could she let you out of her sight, to allow someone to do this to you? It made his stomach turn. Billy was next to his brother this time, in the living room, a hand resting on his shoulder, squeezing from time to time, and instead of standing Graham sat with his head in his hands, creating knots in his hair as he ran his fingers through it. Cam and Karen had you in the bathroom, after seeing the panic in Graham’s eyes they decided to take over that part, knowing it wouldn’t be easy for him to see. Warren stayed up, and Eddie didn’t retreat to his room, Daisy paced back and forth outside of the bathroom, biting her nails. Graham could hear it, it was driving him nuts.
“Would it kill you to be quiet for two seconds, Daisy?!” He groaned, running a hand over his red splotchy face.
Everyone knew that Graham was just upset and taking it out on Daisy, the red corvette, which wasn’t exactly fair, but they also knew better than to argue with Graham at that point.
“You know what, Graham?!” Daisy stomped into the living room, planting herself in front of the Dunne brothers with her arms crossed.
Graham didn’t look up.
“Hey, I’m talkin’ to you!” Daisy used her thumb and pointer finger to grip his chin and pull his face up to look at her and she immediately felt guilty at his tear stained cheeks and glassy eyes.
She sighed, and crouched before him.
“I know it’s hard, and I’m so, so sorry this is happening to her. But she makes her own decisions, Graham. No one could’ve stopped her.”
Graham nodded, but still wouldn’t look in her direction. “Will you go check on her, please?”
Daisy would later tell the story with a frown on her face, and she’d recall never being that scared for another person before, despite the smile she put on for Graham.
“I didn’t-” She took a breath, “I’d never seen it that bad before, at least not while I was sober. I thought she was going to die.”
Daisy retreated to yours and Graham’s shared room shortly after discovering she couldn’t stomach staying in that bathroom, deciding to make herself useful by getting the bed ready, fluffing the pillows and retrieving some fresh clothes for you to wear to bed, making sure she grabbed ones that smelled like your boyfriend. She dropped the clothes off in the bathroom, and passed along the message to Graham from Karen and Camilla that it was time to take you to bed.
This had been Billy’s job, since before The Six was even The Six, that’s how it went. But things had changed, Graham had grown, and it was his turn.
part two coming soon!
1K notes · View notes
st-kitten · 11 months ago
Text
707 pt.3
← previous chapter christmas special
A/N: um... i've got two small special effects for this part, sooooo see if u can use them at the right moment :")
WARNINGS: trauma, implied death by accident, a good cry honestly, violence (intended IM A GIRLS GIRL BUT SOME THINGS ARE OKA-), that shlong, sloppenheimer (kidding: oral sex, both receiving), age gap (newsflash 😒) (reader is obv 20+ and toji is idk 38?)
Tumblr media
"can we call y/n? for cake?" asked megumi.
"i'm not sure she wants to see anybody today, kid," replied a distressed toji
"but it's my birthday..."
toji couldn't resist megumi's puppy eyes. but he figured that if there was anyone you'd listen to, it would be him. it was worth a try.
both of them stepped out of their apartment, hearing music coming from your apartment. toji felt his breath returning to his lungs. music meant you were okay. or at least alive. your singing got clearer as the two of them stood outside your door. he tried knocking but it was left unanswered. toji wondered whether it was just a recording playing, so he pressed his ear on the door. no, that's definitely her. open the fucking door, y/n!
all toji had as a sign that you were inside were was you were singing.
[mention: easy on me, by adele, again for the lyrics ft.]
"i know there is hope in these waters..." is she crying?
"but I can't bring myself to swim, when i am drowning in this silence..." your voice croaked in the end. she's definitely crying. what the fuck did i do...
toji looked around the lobby. seeing it empty, he grabbed your doorknob and pressed hard on it, tearing it apart, breaking it. he gave it to megumi. he barged inside your barely lit, dark living room, only to find you sitting on the floor, head against the sofa, looking at the ceiling. broken glasses and torn papers surrounded you as you sang at the top of your lungs, voice overcome with some kind of pain that toji couldn't understand, but just feel.
"you can't deny how hard I've tried i changed who I was to put you both first but now I give up..."
"i was still a child..."
"so go eas-" hearing the door blast open, you stopped, whipping your head in its direction.
you were about to bark at toji when you saw the look on his face. fear... then you saw megumi, holding your doorknob, standing behind his father.
toji saw your grief-stricken face. the haunting melody of whatever heart-wrenching song you were singing still echoed in his ears, reaching out from the walls like a desperate cry for help. your disheveled hair clung to your face, a stark contrast to the carefree spirit that used to reside next door.
"w-what are you d-"
"what happened?"
toji treaded carefully around the broken glass, telling megumi to wait where he stood. he knelt down beside you, pushing away the small shards.
you sat there, too horrified to say anything. why is he here? a small shaky breath left your mouth, the rest bubbling up like lava, ready to erupt.
"i don't know what i did baby, but i'm sorr-" toji's apology went unheard as tears streamed down your face and a cry tore through the air like a wounded animal's howl. it was guttural, unrestrained, and laced with a pain so visceral that toji felt it in his bones. the sound wasn't pretty; it was raw and unfiltered, like the ugly side of life laid bare for anyone in earshot.
without a second thought, toji enveloped you in a tight embrace, pulling your trembling shoulders into him. he sat on the floor next to you, one leg folded down and the other tucked to his chest. he felt an involuntary shiver run down his spine as you sobbed into him.
"it's okay..." was all he could say. even he knew that it wasn't about fixing everything; it was about being there in whatever storm was raining down on you. he looked at megumi, unsure about how his son would take seeing you break down. the child stood a silent witness to all of it, his eyes glistening slightly.
"why is it okay?" you muttered. "for parents to be your first bullies..."
"what... stopped them," you sniffled, "from just listening to me?"
toji held onto every word that came out of your mouth. a part of him was relieved that this wasn't about him.
"i didn't want a fucking cake... i didn't want a cake, i just wanted them..." your breath hitched.
"you spend half of your life raising a child in the cruelest way... your last words to each other end up being an argument and... your last words to me were nothing..."
toji felt a knot in his stomach. he watched megumi leave and go back to their apartment. he was torn between his kid, disturbed on the eve of his birthday and the woman he was cradling, on her birthday...
as the echoes of your cry faded, they left behind a heavy, oppressive silence. only your shaky breath could be heard. he sat beside you, his eyes searching for the right words as you wiped away the tears that had traced down your cheeks.
"birthdays are supposed to be happy, ya know..." he whispered to you, as gently as he could. as if the wrong words would shatter you.
"they're also supposed to be spent with family apparently..." you said, gritting your teeth. toji didn't know what to say... he wanted so desperately to talk to her. but how do you even say something at a time like that?
megumi's small steps echoed in your living room. both of you looked at him. you felt like bawling your eyes out and toji simply smiled at his son.
megumi carried a small plate with a loaf of bread sitting atop, two tiny candles buried in it, their flames flickering in the dark room. he stood in front of you, holding out the plate to you with his tiny hands.
you held the plate, placing your hands on his. you glanced at the clock, which was seconds away from midnight. you blew one candle, covering the other with your palm. and when the clock struck 12, megumi blew the other candle out.
"happy birthday, gumi," you put the plate down and hugged him. he wrapped his tiny hands around you, resting his head on your shoulder. "happy birthday, y/n," he said softly.
hours passed by as you talked to toji about your unforeseen disappearance. megumi had fallen asleep in your lap and you stroked his head. you told him about your 13th birthday, your parents death in a car crash... you left some things off the conversation. oh, how toji felt each word you said. he knew how ruthless families could be. his own was never kind to him. he told you about his scar in return, and how he felt insecure about it.
"it's kinda hot, if you ask me." seemed like you were back to being your normal self.
toji smirked. "i know. you wouldn't stop kissing it last night."
you smacked his chest with the back of your hand. but it brought you two to that conversation. toji wanted it off his chest.
"i like ya."
you looked at him, taking a shallow breath.
"not just 'cause we made out yesterday. i'm the worst person to talk about feelings and shit to, but... i got 'em. for you." toji was done with it. he didn't want to stretch it any further. not after the day you'd had.
you opened your mouth to speak but he cut you off, "sit with it for a while. ya don't need to answer me right now."
toji picked megumi up from your lap, carrying him in his arms. he pressed a soft, patient kiss to your lips. "belated happy birthday," he said against your lips, got up and left, leaving a large hole in your door.
Tumblr media
[ambient song y/n might vibe to: jeene mein aaye maza, by ankur tiwari]
you wandered aimlessly in the convenience store, picking up things and putting them back where they didn't belong. you circled the whole store thrice until the cashier asked you if something was wrong. paying for cheap beer and rice crackers you didn't even want, you left the store.
you walked home in the evening, head in the clouds. (a cloud shaped like toji)
he liked you. his words hammered in your mind like construction workers at the crack of dawn. girls usually felt giddy after hearing a boy confess to them. the fuck were you feeling? and why was it some kind of diarrhoea? you mind went back to how you'd kissed and how good it felt. there was no doubt that you found him attractive. you liked spending time with him. but did you like him? what even would you do if you did? date him? be his girlfriend? mother to his child? how did one go about dating an older man? if anything, he'd end up with another child.
you walked by a park, watching children playing (mostly falling), building sandcastles in the pit (and falling on them), running around chasing nothing (and falling), scurrying into their parents' arms (guess what).
did you want to be that to megumi? because being with toji meant being with megumi and being responsible for him.
you sat down on the pavement, sipping on beer that tasted like toothpaste, pondering over what kind of life you'd build for yourself. you were not interested in hook up culture. committed relationships were made to sound like life imprisonment sentences. the titles didn't apply to you and especially him. what would being with toji even look like? once your little quinn project comes to an end, what then? would he grab the cash and bolt? would he stay? would he stay anyway?
the more you sat and thought about it, the more things blurred. you thought it best not to overthink it. he did tell you to not rush an answer. but you were not the most patient of all people. the one thing you disliked was how things get awkward every time someone confesses their feelings out of the blue and the other has to be the dealbreaker.
you decided to do the rest of the thinking at home. the city was twinkling with christmas lights and decorations. it was always a wonderful sight to see. it made you want to travel to a quaint countryside only to realise your long lost love for the holiday season and family values as you broke into song about reuniting with your childh-yes, that hallmark movie.
when you entered through the gate to your building, you spotted megumi near the postboxes. a very uncomfortable megumi... in the arms of a woman you'd never seen. she looked rich. fur coat, pradas, sunglasses that covered her whole face like a covid shield. megumi so didn't want to be held like that. your gaze fell on toji, who... drumroll... had the exact same expression as his kid. as you walked in that direction you could hear the conversation.
"he likes me, don't you think?" PLEASE that's what rich people sound like?
"just put him down," toji sighed.
"no, i'm gonna steal him!!!" she giggled, shoving her face into megumi. he flinched and pushed himself away from her.
"aww, he's so playful... toji, why don't you invite me over for a drink?"
megumi wiggled like a worm in her arms, trying to escape her grip. he twisted like a pretzel until she had to put him down. but she held onto his hand tightly. that didn't go unnoticed by toji who was growing angrier every passing minute.
"come on... it'll be fun," she sneered.
"i gotta look after my kid." that was all he said.
"i'm sure he won't mind... right meggy? you'll let daddy and i play for a while, right?" megumi tried to pry her hands off, but she tugged at him harshly.
suddenly, all the diarrhoea made sense. the blur cleared. your eyes narrowed as you observed the audacious scene unfolding before you. something in your head snapped and you took purposeful steps towards her, and offensive gaze locked, devoid of any remorse.
swatting her hand off of megumi's, you put the kid behind you protectively. in a millisecond, your hand swung with conscious thought, as you smashed the beer bottle on her head. the glass shattered on her scalp, cutting through the background noise like a warning shot.
"not. your. kid."
caught between shock and appreciation for your sudden defence, toji covered his curled mouth with his palm. he looked at megumi, who stood behind you, holding the ends of your jacket. the kid looked back at his father, smirking mischievously. toji turned his cackling laughter into an asthmatic cough.
the woman couldn't take a hint even when it hit her in the skull.
"who do you think you are?"
"how dare you hit me? do you know who i am?"
"i'm talking to you!!! hello!!!??"
you let her run her mouth. you weren't interested in what she had to say. you looked down at megumi. you could see the faint red strip that circled his wrist. you knew how manipulative it was to use toji's kid as a means to get to him. you already befell his threat. but you understood it all of a sudden.
the honest urge to protect your kid.
the woman eventually stomped and left, mouthing cuss words at passersby.
"so... care to explain what that was?" asked toji, folding his hands, looking at you with fascination.
"my answer," you said with a smile as you held megumi's little hand, rubbing the back of it with your thumb.
toji smirked proudly.
"what happened here?" asked the building watchman, who heard about the act of violence from others who witnessed it.
"nothing interesting,"
"they're saying you harassed a woman," he was quick to throw an accusing glance at toji.
"nonsense! just some personal drama," you interrupted. "that's the father, this is his son."
"and that's the unholy spirit..." toji mumbled to the guard, earning a death glare from you.
the three of you walked towards the elevator. you handed megumi the rice crackers you bought and he wasted no time in digging in. toji put his arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer as he whispered in your ear, "what does a fella like me have to do to see you smash another bottle again?"
"flirt with another woman and i'll gladly smash one on your head."
toji's deep chuckle vibrated in your ear.
megumi dragged you inside their house to show you his new sketches. he'd really outdone himself. he'd also made his father hang all the small drawings on the christmas tree they had in their living room. toji was glad that he'd found something to occupy himself with. not that he didn't want to spend time with the kid, but seeing him not get overly attached to a single parent relieved the giant weight on his shoulders.
"mmm! gumi, i have a gift for you."
megumi trotted to you like a puppy, eyes twinkling like stars.
"you're gonna spoil him."
"correct."
you gave him a cd. "i wrote you a song." megumi clutched the cd like a prized trophy. he opened the case and showed his father the cd. you'd chased down your producer's sales guy to put one of megumi's sketches as the cd cover.
"when did you even have time to do this?"
"last night. and today morning."
"you didn't sleep?"
you looked away from him, perfectly expecting a fatherly scolding. instead, toji just chortled. he left megumi to listen to your song on a loop as the two of you went to your apartment. (sorry megs, but this is a toji x y/n)
you closed the door, swearing that the hole where your doorknob used to be was getting bigger by each minute. not a moment later, toji had his arms wrapped around you, his mouth on yours. you dropped the grocery bags on the floor and threw your hands around his neck. bumping into nearly every piece of furniture along the way, you sauntered into your room, lips glued to each other. he kissed you like it was the last thing he could do in the world and you kissed him like it was the first thing you wanted to do before anything else.
"mmm... hold on," toji pulled away momentarily and said, "promise me one thing."
"what?"
"you don't disappear when shit hits the fan. you come talk to me."
you felt guilt churn inside you, recalling how you'd left toji and megumi to wonder what 'they' had done wrong to make you go distant.
you nodded. "i promise."
toji held you in his arms for a while, taking a look at your face. he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and you winced.
"ow! careful, i just got my ear pierced."
toji raised his eyebrows. he pushed your hair aside and saw a helix piercing, the edge of your ear pink and slightly swollen.
"that looks like it hurt."
"oh, it did."
"then why'd ya get it?"
"i always get piercings on my birthday."
"why?" toji honestly didn't understand this form of self-harm.
"what can i say, buddy, i love getting stabbed..." you said plainly, backing away and took your shoes off.
toji snorted a laugh at your comment. "masochist."
"aww, big man uses big words now..." you said, keeping your shoes under your bed. toji simply slapped your ass.
"sadist."
"by the way, i added some background noises to our recording. it sounds so good!"
"oh? let's hear it then," said toji, sitting down on your bed. he was glad to see you be your usual confident self. last night had him tensed with worry. even though he wasn't the source of your pain, he couldn't imagine how lonely you must've felt spending your birthday crying as life wickedly toasted to your parent's death, scarring the one day you were supposed to own with pride.
you made him listen to some excerpts, but ended up talking over them anyway, excitedly telling him how smartly you had edited some things. he just watched you with a small smile. whenever you turned to face him, his eyes fell on your piercing. he counted how many you had. nine. marking nine years of an anniversary nobody would want to remember like this. four piercings on each ear and one in your nose. did you really need the pain to validate your broken heart? did it make you feel like you deserved it?
he dismissed those thoughts from his head. it was your decision. and you bore it like an ornament, and not a scar. plus, he now that he fully took your face in, he couldn't deny hot incredibly hot those piercings looked on you. the thought of you sitting through that and showing off your piercings made his stomach flip. seriously, how much more hot could you get?
as if to answer his question, your recording played in his ear, some scene at a party with your characters failing to keep their hands to themselves. his voice blended with yours like the perfect duet. the way you spoke, changing your tone, pitch, hell, even your little laugh to suit your character made him feral. he wanted to hear you more. but not for some recording. he wanted to hear you for himself.
the moment the recording ended, toji pounced on you, grabbing your neck, careful not to hurt your ear as he kissed you roughly. you gasped, but melted on the spot. you liked where this was going anyway. toji moved his lips along yours, nibbling at you mouth. he let you catch a breath, before shoving his tongue inside, only for it to hitch again.
he pushed you into your bed, immediately hovering over you. he let his hands run up and down your legs. you hummed under his touch. he felt you shuffle underneath. he pulled away for a moment to watch you sneak your phone out of the pocket, finger pressed on a red dot.
"you wanna give your fans a show, baby?" he murmured.
"nuh uh, this is for me," you panted.
toji smirked. "gotta make this good then..." he peppered kiss on your neck, sucking on your skin. he could smell that god awful coconut perfume. to ease the weight his humongous body dumped on you, he shoved his knee between your legs, hoisting himself over you properly. you practically moaned in his mouth at the feeling of his knee rubbing against you. you had no idea what to do with your hands, so you just let them stay on your stomach lifelessly.
toji broke the kiss once more, chuckling at the whine that escaped from your mouth.
"so needy..." he growled, taking his shirt off with one hand. your jaw hung open as you took him in. the way he towered you even when sitting on his knees made him seem almost... monstrous.
toji only it thought it fair to get rid of your clothes too. he held your waist and pulled you to him, hoisting you on his lap. he took your jacket off, throwing it on the floor.
"be careful with the shirt. it's vivienne westwood."
"strip then."
slowly, taking the sweet time of your life, you pulled the shirt off, turning it right side up and neatly folded it, placing it at the far end of your bed.
"you done, sweetie?" he cooed in your ear.
"done."
"lovely. put your hands to use." he had you folded under him, back on the bed, kisses getting rougher, wetter, messier. you clawed at his shoulder, back, neck, chest, every part of him that you could touch. he licked a particular spot just under your ear that made you mewl in pleasure. like a vampire, toji bit your neck, causing you to moan softly.
his free hand unclasped your bra and tossed it away.
"would it kill you to not throw my clothes here and there?"
"thought you liked it violent, baby..." he murmured in your ear, biting a hickey on your neck. he kept switching between kissing your lips and sucking at your neck while he played with your tits, squeezing them, pinching them, kneading them like dough. he was right. they did fit in his hands perfectly. he latched his mouth onto one, making you squirm under him.
toji was absorbing your body. he felt bold; bold to take what he wanted from you. well, what he wanted was you. your body, your hips, your mouth, all of it. he wanted to show you just how desirable you were to him.
the hand that roamed your waist slowly trailed down your cargo pants. you didn't even realise when he took them off, but it was good anyway. less is more.
at an agonisingly slow pace, the tips of his fingers teased you over your panties. toji took a look at you, covered in his marks, lips pink and swollen.
he chuckled, "just how many of these stupid panties do you have?"
"I FUCKING KNEW IT. PANTY THIEF!" you smacked his abs.
"they're mine now," toji murmured as back away, spreading your legs apart with his hands, grabbing at your thighs. he kissed your inner thigh languorously making his way down to your wet cunt. he took your panties off, once more putting them back in his pockets. he dipped two of is fingers inside slowly, as if he was learning about your body. he watched your every reaction, every quiver, every hitched breath as he took his time and prepped you for himself. he curled his fingers at an optimal spot and like a cat on heat, you mewled and your legs shut tight around his hand.
"uh uh uh, i need these legs wide open, darling." he knew how much you liked it when he said that. when you didn't spread them, he smacked a hard slap on your hip, causing you to gasp and giggle as you did as directed.
"don't be a brat."
"or what?"
toji didn't retort. instead, he dove straight into your cunt, painting your insides with long strokes with his tongue. he paired it with his forefinger running up and down, inside and out, pushing against your clit. hearing you whimper and pant just made him want to tease you. recording all those dirty audios with you had him gain a mind in the game. like an illusionist, his hands disappeared and he pulled away, making you pine for him.
"toji fushiguro, i will smash a bottle on your head if you ever take your mouth off me like that again..." god, you sounded so sexy.
"ya know... it makes my dick hard when you talk to me like that."
you crunched forward and grabbed his hair, pulling him back to your pussy. toji chuckled, resuming eating you out like a man starved for days.
"oh i bet it does," you said breathlessly, throwing a few more slurred taunts his way. toji extended his free hand and shoved two of his fingers in your mouth.
"put that mouth to use, brat." he groaned in pleasure feeling your tongue swirl around his fingers, sucking them, gently biting them whenever he lapped at your cunt the right away. even with his fingers stuffed in your mouth, he could hear your muffled moans loudly. he sped his pace, slipping his fingers in and out of you, lapping at your core. he felt you clench and he took it as an open invitation to increase the pressure. you let out a long, stretched moan as you gushed all over his chin.
"is this what you ladies call girl dinner?" toji took his fingers out of you, licking them and tasting you, smacking his lips.
you laughed, throwing your head back.
"ugh, shut up."
"make me," you commented, practically waltzing into the man's next plan for you. toji's hand wrapped around your throat as he pulled you up as if you weight nothing. he got off the bed, standing in front of you as you were on all fours.
"gladly," toji slid his pants and boxers down, freeing his hard-as-a-rock girth.
"this isn't fair, toji," you cried at the size of it.
"i know, baby..." he gripped your chin with his fingers, nearly crushing your jaw. you looked up at him and seeing you on your knees for him lit a fire within him.
playfully you licked his wet lip like a kitten...
"cute. but that's not gonna cut it, sweetheart."
"i'll have you know i won the popsicle eating contest in my college..."
toji chuckled, holding his cock out to your face and smacked it against your lips. "gonna keep me waitin'?"
you took his head in your mouth, swirling your tongue around it, letting the tip run between the faint slit. you bobbed your head a few times, adjusting to his length and width. you'd be grateful to have a jaw left by the time you've sucked him dry. you took his length in your, stroking what you couldn't. you felt his cock twitch and pulsate in your mouth.
"god, you're doing so well..." toji reached forward, accidentally thrusting more of his dick in your mouth, making you whimper. he picked up your phone, which had been recording every lewd sound you made and he held it by his hip. "you sound so... fucking perfect, baby... gagging over my dick like that."
he pushed your hair aside, gripping it tightly as he pushed your head further in, moaning at how good it felt to have you take damn nearly all of him.
"fuck... shit.... s' good" toji let a buffet of grunts and moans spill out of his mouth. first, because he you took him that well, and second because he wanted you to get off to his voice, just like he did to yours. he began thrusting into your mouth faster, feeling his release creeping its way up. had he known how easy it was for him to come just by getting a quick blowjob, he'd have put more work into the foreplay. but fuck, he loved every damn moment of it. how your mouth was wet and warm, how your pointed tongue knew just where to lick, how your cheeks hollowed to pull him in.
"keep going, baby... i'm almost there," he panted, closing his eyes and letting his head fall back, hips moving at a brutal pace. his mind went to you eating a popsicle for some reason and he laughed, paving the way for a guttural moan that rumbled through his mouth as he came into your mouth. you closed your eyes, letting the uncomfortable feeling pass away as you managed to swallow the barrel full of cum he just shot into your mouth.
toji pulled out, feeling euphoric. he was completely obsessed with you. he wanted to take your right there. he wanted to be inside you. fuck, he wanted to see how loud you could get for him.
a knock on your main door and a small voice calling out to toji snapped you back to your senses.
"what a cockblock," toji sighed.
you threw a pillow at him. "that's your adorable birthday boy you're talking about!"
toji changed back into his clothes, refusing to give you your panties back, earning another pillow to his face. he looked at you to make sure you still didn't have second thoughts about him. but there you were, effortlessly moving around the room, picking up the pieces of clothing he'd tossed here and there. he loved how much fun you had doing all these things with him. it made the experience twice as much worth it.
you changed into your pyjamas and led toji out of your bedroom.
"does it say 'juicy' on your ass?" he said, reading the glittery text on your pants.
"ya bet it does," you smacked your own ass, proud of your sense of fashion, no matter how ridiculous it was.
"gonna fuck that ass someday."
"fix my door first." you peeked through the hole in your door, looking at the top of megumi's hair.
you opened the door to see megumi standing in his pyjamas, holding his demon dog, yawning.
"awww, sorry for keeping your dad for so long."
megumi yawned again, nodding.
"she sang a song for me too, you know..." said toji, picking up his sleepy kid, giving you a wink. you kicked his ass, making him stagger out of your house.
"good night."
"good night..." you smiled at the two.
ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧₊
TAGLIST: @kaininety2 @ruixrei @chicken-fifi @mrsfush1guro @szillx @queendessi24 @sillysillygoofygoose @shadowmoonlight0604
251 notes · View notes
fcknstar · 1 year ago
Text
,, we're similar, dont you think? "
pairings : gf!ethanlandry x fem!reader
summary : what would you do for love?
content warnings : gore, killing, mentions of body parts out place, very morbid for some readers, possessiveness, jealousy.
**lowercase intended**
Tumblr media
and there you were. squeezed by a few sweaty bodies but all you can focus on is him. and the way she flirts with him. your thoughts being disoriented, breathing heavy as you try to calm yourself down. how dare he, have the nerve to ask you to be his rightful date to this party, but flirt with another girl. not to mention, shes your friend.
the music changes with the way you think. eliminate whoever is stopping us from being happy. your calm facade broke with the way you broke her nose.
you pull stacy into the alleyway, pushing her down onto the rough floor that made her skin crack. her once soft skin is now full of dirt and cuts that you knew he disliked.
" you told me youd stay away from aaron! you promised, you whore! " you stomp towards her, before kicking her face. your high heel met her nose bridge which was so close to her eye, something you aimed for. if you had kicked her eyeballs in, she might not have the chance to ogle her eyes at aaron.
" i told you, hes mine! fucking mine! " you screamed, before looking around. you found a metal pipe, lifting it before smashing her face. you always hated how she tried her best to look better than you whenever shes around aaron. you liked how the sound of the metal pipe clanked with her skull, with the way her screams harmonizes with it.
" who's the ugly one now? " you whisper to her smushed face. one that didnt look pretty. her face was bleeding, skin torn apart like she had been eaten alive by a dog. she choked on her blood, her neck too, bruised and bleeding.
standing up, you stumbled backwards before registering what you had done.
" fuck.. not again.." you whispered before turning around. no one seemed to be near you.
ethan coulnt help but stare at you. clear rage in your eyes as he followed what you were looking at. you looked jealous despite your calm facade. he watched you pull the girl away from the guy, pulling her out of the bar. the bar had parties every friday and ethan decided to see what the hype was about. and he saw it. watching you kick the girl, fuck the girls face up was something he didnt expect to see. maybe he should come to bars often.
" fuck..not again.." he heard whisper. he was in the dark, hid quietly behind the large bin he just peered out from. he saw the way you pulled gloves out of your bag, as if you had planned this. you pulled stacy over to the bin he was at, before lifting her up and dumping it in. you knew the authorities will just assume this as another ghostface attack.
you then stumble out of the alleyway, running off into the night. ethan found it appealing, how incredibly attractive you sounded and looked. he knew this wasnt your first time.
" come on babe, we just talking. "
" didnt seem like talking to me aaron. "
" oh so we back on first names now? and you say youre the mature one. "
" says the one who told me that stacys someone i shouldn't worry about- "
" oh fuck off, you're just fucking insecure! " his voice ringed into your ear. you angrily hung up the call before heading to bed.
the next morning, you thought about what had happened. maybe shes not someone to worry after all. you decide to apologize to him to patch up your relationship even though your brain disagrees with it. you love him, after all, you would do anything for love.
" good morning babe.. i.. im sorry about yesterday. maybe i overreacted.. im coming over for dinner to make us something. how about that? " you left a voice note.
after getting ready for the day, your phone buzzed.
aaron<3
aaron : hey babe, i got your voice note. its fine, maybe i did too. sorry for saying such words to you, i don't mean any of that. id love that! see you tonight baby! <33
me : see you love!! xoxo
as you rummaged through your bag for the spare keys to aarons home, you realized you had left it at home.
" shit. uhh sweety? i forgot the keys, can you open the door for me? " you knocked on the door.
almost instantly, the door slightly open. you were confused, why didnt he just open in fully and engulf you in a hug like he usually did.
" babe? " you slowly push the door open, looking down as you wanted to remove your shoes. however you saw a silhouette of someone.
" aaron- oh my fucking god. " you step back as you watch you aaron dangling with his intestines wrapped around his neck, from the ceiling fan. blood spilled every where. by now the door behind closed to you pushing it shut.
as you take steps towards aaron, you cant help but cry out.
you tiptoed, hands on his bloodied cheeks and his eyes have been dug out, empty hollow filling the void. the once bright brown eyes you loved to look at is now gone. looking down at where his intestines would be, there was a note.. with his pair of eyes.
the note read : he should have kept his eyes on you.
" fuck.. aaron… please. " you wished and prayed that maybe, just maybe hed just wake up.
looking around, you wanted to pull aaron down so you could properly grieve. your hands move back and forward in the air as you hesitate to touch his intestines.
but then his arm moved, waving at you. you stumble backwards, falling to the floor as he spoke.
" i thought you liked touching me? " and a humorous laugh came after it. but his mouth didnt move an inch. before you know it, aarons body fell towards you, having you push yourself backwards. a figure, ghostface to be exact appeared before you.
" holy shit. " you cursed before lifting yourself to defend.
you run to the kitchen to find all the knives and scissors to be missing. nothing was there. you make a run to your shared room.
" fuck. " you realized you could have just ran out of the house since its still unlocked. once you locked yourself in the shared room, you knew this was going to be your last moment.
pounds on the door became louder with every passing second. you hid next to the door, where once he manages to open, itd hide you. then it happened, the door swung towards you, and you had a hand out to softly stop the door from hurting you.
when you peer your head, you watch as ghostface had his back turned to you. once you think its safe, you ran out the door, before reaching the main door handle. your hand touched it, held it, but your grip wasnt strong enough. ghostface was strong, too strong for you as he pulled you away from the door and pushed you hard against the wall.
you arched your back and moaned in pain in the process which made ghostface tilt his head slightly. your head felt like it was spinning.
" fucking kill me already. " you whimpered out, breathing staggered.
" dont you see? we both are the same. you killed your friend because she couldnt stop looking at aaron here because you love him. and i killed aaron cause i wanted to be the only one looking at you. just because. ill let you figure that your own. " he giggled, almost like how a shy boy would.
Tumblr media
a.n : ta da!!! m very proud of this piece thank you very much, haha.
369 notes · View notes
Note
Murder Sibling Tuu
🐱
So concept
Yuu is the eldest and comes from a HUGE family with lots of siblings that are part of criminal legacy. Literally all of them are some sort of mafia boss, assassin, drug lord, or bank robber except for Yuu.
This isn't because Yuu hates it, nope its just not their thing. Their little siblings always go to Yuu for ideas on their next murder/heist/ect and they always give the best advice ever despite not being a criminal.
When they get isekaied, they didn't know that their family also came with until its too late.
Let's say they're dating Floyd since that was the original context. Under cut cause length
It's Vargas camp and as things come to a close there's another attack, the masked person overpowers Vargas and locks onto a group.of Yuus friends, chasing the first Years, Riddle, Malleus, Jade and Floyd.
The others scatter, just to get stuck in (non lethal) traps to be picked off later. The killer is smart and though Malleus is powerful he is outwitted when he caught in magic resistant trap— this damn killer was PLANNING it.
Floyd and the group fight back. But they are all beat up pretty bad, thankfully, there is no stab marks as the psychopath seems to be dragging this out for their enjoyment.
As they kick Floyd onto the ground as they spill the first drop of blood of the night as the killer slashes them and leaves a "superficial", but concerning wound on Floyds abdomen.
Jade screams out at his brother in horror, show more emotion than he ever has in this damn life, despite where he's trapped, he risks blot and shoots out a simple spell at the killers head just for them to dodge.
"You want to see my face that badly?" The voice was filled with a sickeningly honeyed tone of amusement. "I guess that's fair since I intend to kill you... may as well let you see who killed you."
"You wont get away with this!" Sebek shrieks. The killer takes off the mask just to see... Yuu?
"Yuu? No...nonono not my shrimpy... why?! Why would you—"
"Wait wait wait. Did you say Yuu? How the fuck do you know that name?" The killer asks but something was off, this wasn't yuus voice.
Just then Yuu comes out and slide in front of Floyd protectively, ready to fight before freezing.
"TUU?!"
"Yuu?! Oh God, oh shit. Don't tell me these are your friends..."
"You stabbed my fucking boyfriend!"
"Fuck! Sorry I didn't know— oh geez...." Tuu facepalms. "Hold on, I actually have a few healing potions..."
"Um... can you explain???" Riddle wheeze.
"Everyone this one of my my Octuplets, Tuu."
"OCTUPLET??" Sebek shrieks.
"Yeah that's not even all my siblings either, don't ask I lost count"
"Damn I'm sorry about that everyone, I would have never attacked if I knew Yuu was here. But dammit, I had it all planned out and everything! I would kill off some of you and leave your bodies out so that others would warn of this place and bam! A buncha idiots would explore and I get to practice my assassinations and murder techniques! Can't believe I wasted all that time though now....".
"Wait, Yuu why aren't you surprised?" Ace gawks
"Oh big sibling Yuu over here is weird. Literally everyone in our family's a murderer EXCEPT yuu which is suprising since they always have the best ideas for maiming!" Tuu giggles
"Wait... if your here does that mean—" a new voice interrupts Yuu
"Sort of! I assume our entire family is out in this new world but we haven't all been able to find each other. Thankfully, me and Tuu happened to be summoned together!"
"Who the fuck is that?!" Jack barks
"That's Kyu." Kyu stands proudly in their formal attire that's decades old as they twirl a cigar.
"Why didn't you reach out to me? I know Tuu is to busy murdering things but I know for a fact you knew where I was. Im the oldest! You report to me!" yuu scolds
"You're older by 10 minutes." Tuu interrupts as they pour the potion on Floyd.
"Shut up!"
Kyu shrugs. "I'm building a criminal empire."
"What" Deuce blinks.
"I said im building a criminal empire. I was the leader of several mafias and other organized gangs back in my world and now its back to square one! I need my underlings I'm not just gonna light my own cigars now, cmon!"
"That sounds like Kyu alright..." Yuu sighs.
"Plus then I'll be able to magically enroll our whole family into NRC just with a little blackmail as we learn about this world!"
"Crowleys pathetic you don't need a criminal empire you just need 5 dollars" Epel sighs.
"Perhaps." Kyuu shrugs again and takes a puff. "But having an interdimensional drug empire once we find away home is an opportunity I must not let pass by. Speaking of which, give me your phone, Yuu."
Yuu hands over the phone to Kyu. "Now you should be able to contact us and I'll keep you updated once I find the whole family. Oh yeah, be sure to send pictures of all your friends to the group chat along with their full names so we know who not to kill, maim, target—"
"I get it." Yuu sighs before helping Floyd up. "I love you guys but damn!"
"You love th—" Ace covers Deuces mouth.
"Sorry Floydie!" Tuu chuckles cuteley. "I hope this doesn't make things awkward between us! Oh just forget about this encounter! I can't wait to meet you when Yuu brings you home for dinner!" Tuu waves
"Eat shit." Floyd huffs. "Awe you're adorable, just take good care of Yuu! If you break their heart ill slaughter you like the damn animal you are!~" tuu practially sings
"Yuu can do that on their own." "But they won't that's the issue"
Tuu sighs again. "Now im gonna have to release everyone from their traps now ueueueu... there were so many boys with such wearable skin! I already had the suit planned out for when I got them!" Tuu mopes.
"Right just tell our parents—" "bosses" "tell our bosses i love them and to please take it easy with all the murder please."
"No promises Yuuie!~ bye bye!~" Tuu cackles and they run off into the woods and Ryu dissapears
The rest of the night is Yuu profusely apologizing and having to skirt around questions for legal reasons
And also
"Why are all of you named Yuu or something similar"
"My bosses named the second oldest Tuu. Do you really think they're good with names?"
237 notes · View notes
cupidjyu · 1 year ago
Text
detention for romance
hyunjae x reader
summary (because this is strangely long): as the president of the student council, you're faced with expectations. what you don't expect is to be put in detention with the student that you've heard endless negative rumors about... but he's not as bad as you had thought
genre: school au, unrealistic high school romance (yawns), flirty hyunjae, gosh he is such a waist grabber, he punched someone, but its all okay!!! he has a little sister, close proximity in a library lol, soft moments, falling asleep on his shoulder, oblivious reader, constant constant bickering, getting together, kissing, high schoolers who unrealistically make out (yawns again), slight neck kissing, cursing, younghoon sunwoo cameos notes: im not even going to talk about it word count: 10.5k (woops)
Whenever the name Lee Hyunjae was spoken in a noisy classroom, bustling hallway, or bathroom with a leaking sink, it would always be accompanied by a wince. People would contort their faces in worry whenever someone even mentioned his name or they would take the long way to get to the history classroom if it meant they wouldn’t have to come face-to-face with him.
Lee Hyunjae. The student in class 1-B was closed off and considered the scariest one ever. Some never dared to speak his name, behaving like he was that one villain with no nose from those Harry Potter movies. He never talked to anyone and if an unknowing new student ever tried to, he would stare at them silently. Some people say that he glares. Some say that he rolls his eyes.
“I heard that he’s in a gang and murders children for money,” Your classmate once said. Class 1-A loved to talk about him, hence why you strangely knew so much. You looked up from your sketchbook.
“Children? Of all types of people?” You squinted.
“Doesn’t he seem like the type to hate children?” She replied. “C’mon, you’re the president of the student council.”
You frowned. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“You’re supposed to be smart.”
You shut your mouth at that. Maybe, you were book-smart. Street smart? You could never decipher why people hated Hyunjae so much. But then again, you never saw him before. Maybe he was just quiet. Or maybe he really was in a gang and murdered children for money. All you knew was that he was not part of your business so you couldn’t care less.
Besides, you had a student council meeting to host after this.
“What do you mean you lost the one thing that we needed?” You whined, staring straight at Sunwoo. “This event is the last one of the year and you—“ You sighed, pinching the area between your eyebrows.
“I’m sorry,” He cried. “It’s not my fault someone crashed my car on the way here and they fell out.”
You pouted. “Are you okay at least?”
He grinned, motioning to himself. “All in one piece.”
The one thing was actually the flower garlands for the spring party that you were tasked to plan. They were supposed to hang from the ceiling, along with string lights to resemble a pretty forest. Being the president of the student council was quite tiring. In fact, you never even intended to become one. You just happened to have decent grades.
The spring party was in just a few hours and if there were no flower garlands, then the highly anticipated party would be empty and disappointing. You couldn’t quite afford the embarrassment, especially from how many tickets you had sold.
“What do we do?” You sighed. “You can just start decorating with what we have then.”
A few of the students nodded. As they left, another member, Younghoon, approached you with a small smile. He was tall and often looked innocent like he had done no wrong. But really, he was anything but that. He loved to joke around and break the rules. You wondered how he even got into the council with such a record.
“You know,” He started, leaning against one of the rickety desks. He wobbled slightly against it, ruining the “cool” facade he decided to put on. “The main office has some of those garland things. Last year, they had a flower sale so they used those as decorations. I saw them in the closet when I was caught cheating on a test.”
You stared at him with a bored expression. “You got caught cheating on a test?”
He groaned. “Yes, and I failed the class. But that’s beside the point! You should go to the office and get the flower garlands. You’ll be just in time.”
You really contemplated it for a second. “Can I really? What do I say?”
“Nothing.” He shrugged. “The principal doesn’t let any student borrow supplies for parties and such.”
You frowned. “You’re of no help then.”
Younghoon gave you a confused smile. “What do you mean? Just… kindly borrow them. Just for one day.”
You gaped at them. “You mean to steal them?”
He nodded as if that was the simplest thing ever. “Just sneak in and grab them. What could go wrong?”
“I am no thief,” You grumbled.
“Then I guess your party will suck then.”
You gasped. “You take that back.”
“Never.” He stuck his tongue out and then he turned towards the door. “Just think about it, won’t you? Code to the closet is 1026 by the way.” He winked as he turned down the hallway with a small wave.
You were left in the empty classroom speechless. There was no way you would steal from the school. That would result in serious consequences and you couldn’t ruin your reputation. With an abrupt shake of your head, you headed out. 
And then you stopped. To the right, was the gymnasium where the party was being set up. To the left, was the main office with the flower garlands. You bit your lip, whipping your head from either side. 
You ultimately turned left.
“What am I doing, what am I doing?”
Why did every single door of the school have to creak? Holding your breath, you peeked inside. Your eyes surveyed the room. It seemed that everyone else had left except for two people, talking in the very corner. This was the perfect chance, as you could see the closet, just on your right.
As quietly as you could, you stepped inside, hurrying over the old-looking closet that looked like it could collapse at any moment. 
Just get the flowers and get out. 
Your hands were practically shaking as you turned the lock.
1…0…
“Punching a student is not tolerated in this school.” 
You inhaled sharply at the familiar voice of the principal, but you turned back to the lock, determined to go unnoticed.
2…
“Miss, I had my reasons.” Another voice, younger, almost like he was in your grade. He sounded tired and annoyed.
“That boy ended up with a broken nose. What possible reason could there be for that?” The principal was stern. 
You paused for a second. But still, there was one more number left.
…6
With a proud smile, you silently unlocked the closet. And there it was, like an oasis in a dry desert, the flower garlands. They were prettier than the ones you had previously. Your smile grew. Oh, the party was going to be beautiful.
You were just about to grab the flowers and escape when the younger student spoke up again. “My little sis–”
“What are you doing over there?”
Clenching your jaw, you froze. Then you whipped around, only to face the principal who was staring back at you with an angry expression. Behind her, was a tall man. He must be a student as he was dressed in the typical uniform. His tie was loose and his shirt was untucked, which usually resulted in being dress coded. He didn’t seem to care though as he tilted his head at you with a nonchalant expression, one hand in his pocket. 
You smiled nervously. “I was borrowing something.”
“You aren’t permitted to take anything from there. How did you even get the code?” The principal spoke sternly. “You should be setting a better example. As president of all people.”
You frowned. “But, I needed it for the par–”
“You don’t need it.” She interrupted you. “What you do need is detention. Both of you.”
“What?” You exclaimed. “I swear that I–” But it was of no use, as she was already writing your name up, as well as the other student’s. You peered at his chest only to find that there was no name tag. You sighed. This was not how you expected things to go.
“Detention.” She handed both of you the paper. “In which you both will be sweeping the art room, organizing the library, and cleaning classroom 1-B.”
“Miss,” The man complained, stepping forward. You widened your eyes when you realized just how tall he actually was. “All they did was try to steal stuff. How is that–”
The principal only raised her eyebrow at the word “steal.”
You nudged his shoulder harshly. “You’re not helping,” You whispered frantically.
He gave you a small smirk. “Well you’re not very good at stealing now are you?”
You flushed at that. “I was just trying to–”
“No more objections,” The principal stated. “Attend the party… or whatever. But you will report to detention tomorrow afternoon.”
You sighed and walked away. The man, whom you’ve now nicknamed “dickhead,” quickly caught up to you. You glanced at him with narrowed eyes, refusing to say anything. Close up, you realized that he wasn’t bad looking. He had a tall nose bridge and deer-like eyes that would be considered kind-looking if it wasn’t for the constant teasing look on his face.
“Stealing from Miss principal,” He spoke up, his voice laced with amusement. “I admire your bravery.”
You rolled your eyes, walking faster. He continued to trail behind you. With annoyance, you whipped around, already agitated from the past events.
“Why are you following me?” You frowned.
He smiled. “Don’t you need a date for this party? I’m trying to ask you out.” 
You widened your eyes, your throat closing up suddenly. “Wh–what?”
He stared at you for a good minute. And then he motioned to the side with a laugh. “Just kidding, my locker’s right here.”
You groaned and turned around. Your hands clenched into fists as you stormed down the hallway. 
“Dickhead.”
Little did you know, that he was watching you rush down the hallway with curious eyes. 
Cursing at the couple who decided to make out right in front of your locker, you rushed down the stairs, your hands fumbling to fix your hair. Turning the corner, you were met with the entrance of the art room.
To say the least, your friends and fellow classmates were in much shock when they found out that you of all people had gotten detention. Again, you couldn’t care less. You just needed to get this over with. 
Perhaps this could be a great learning experience! You smiled painfully. 
I hate this.
Peeking through the window of the door, you could see that same man, sitting at one of the tables. Again, his uniform was awfully undone. The tie was loose like before and this time, the top two buttons of his shirt were unbuttoned. You sighed, looking down at your uniform. Neat and ironed, because you were always expected to set an example.
Slowly, you opened the door. He looked up and his lips immediately lifted up into a coy smile.
“You’re late.”
“There were some… issues.” You shivered at the thought. Out of all places, they were kissing in front of your locker?
He laughed at your expression and he stood up from the table. And then he squinted at your name tag.
“Your name is?”
“You can’t read?” You furrowed your eyebrows.
“Bad eyesight.” He grinned.
“Y/n,” You sighed.
He nodded. “I already knew that.”
“What?” You stared at him with confusion.
“President of student council,” He stated. “I hear about you a lot.”
“Then why’d you ask…” You muttered to yourself.
“Formality reasons.” He shrugged. “Like you would for me. You probably hear about me a lot too.”
You frowned as you reached over to pick up the brooms, handing one to him. He stared at it blankly, and so you sighed with frustration and thrust it into his chest.
“I don’t know you though,” You replied.
He raised an eyebrow. And then he stepped closer, looking down at you with a disbelieving look. You gulped, taking a step backward.
“You’re funny,” He whispered. 
“I’m not trying to be.”
“You really don’t know?” He widened his eyes. “Lee Hyunjae?”
And that was when the world suddenly came crashing down on you. It all came together like pieces of a puzzle. The constantly messy uniform, the smirk on his lips, the whole reason that he was in detention in the first place? Punching a student. 
You gasped, taking an even wider step backward. His eyes almost dimmed at your action along with his smile faltering with… something like hurt.
“You’re Hyunjae?” You mumbled.
He nodded. “And now you’re going to run away like everyone else does.”
“No.” You shook your head. “I’m just wondering…” You spoke with astonishment. “You’re not even that scary.”
He gaped at your words, his broom almost slipping out of his hands. “Scary?”
You snorted. “You have no idea what my class says about you.” You turned away for a second, beginning to sweep up all the colored pencil shavings and cut-up paper.
“Amuse me.” He appeared by your side with a small smile. You watched as he began to help you clean up the floor. You shouldn’t be so surprised but with what so many people say about him, you couldn’t help but be a little bit shocked that he was doing a basic household task.
“Are you in a gang?” You looked up at him with a stifled laugh.
“Yes,” He spoke. You eyed him suspiciously. “No,” He finally sighed. “That would be cool though.”
“Do you murder children for money?”
He winced and looked at you. “Do you believe these things?”
You shrugged. “Just curious.”
Hyunjae groaned, batting your broom with his, causing you to glare at him. “I’m a perfectly normal student.”
“Okay…” You muttered. “Then why’re you in detention for punching one?”
He grew silent at that. When you looked up at him, you could see that his jaw had clenched. He didn’t answer the question either, as he abruptly walked away to clean up somewhere. You stared after him, trying to decipher his strange reaction. 
After a few more lazy broom sweeps across the floor, you turned to him, only to see that Hyunjae had stopped. He seemed to be staring at an open sketchbook on one of the tables. Quietly, you walked behind him. That was when you realized… that was your sketchbook.
Other than managing school things, you secretly enjoyed drawing in one. It was when you could escape from all your responsibilities, instead choosing to focus on doodling and perfecting a pretty picture. And you must have left it here the other day when it had mysteriously gone missing.
With a squeak, you lunged forward and shut it closed.
He jumped and stared at you in shock. That was when you came to the realization that he was sort of… cute when surprised with the way his eyes were round and his lips parted.
“Those drawings were not mine,” You rambled.
He stared at you, unimpressed. “Thanks for confirming that they’re yours.”
You sighed with defeat. “You weren’t supposed to see them. It’s private.”
His eyes searched yours. “I didn’t turn a single page. It was just open. Besides…” He trailed off. “That one drawing was very good.”
You gulped, suddenly feeling your cheeks grow warm. “Oh,” You stuttered. “Thank you.”
He gave you a small smile. Suddenly, all of those rumors that you’d heard of him had completely dissipated from your mind. You straightened up, studying him with perplexion. He wasn’t half bad. Just… a little quiet.
He pulled out one of the stools and sat down, inviting you to do the same. Cautiously, you did so, facing him with sudden nervousness.
“Can you show me another?” He asked, his eyes filled with genuine curiosity. “If you’re comfortable.”
You faltered over a breath. You watched him for a second, wondering if he was going to maybe burst out into laughter and claim that he was just joking. But instead, he only stared back expectantly.
“Okay,” You whispered. With shaky hands, you searched through your sketchbook, choosing one of your favorites. Hesitantly, you turned it around. He studied it quietly. And then he looked back up at you with a soft smile.
“Aren’t you talented?” He murmured.
You were sure that your cheeks were completely red now. Shutting the book with a loud bang, you looked down at your lap. “Shut up.”
“I’m being serious,” He chuckled. “My little sister likes to draw too, you know.”
You looked up at him in surprise.
“Little sister?” 
He nodded, a sudden fond expression taking over his usual bored one. “She’s adorable. And she somehow looks up to me. I advise her not to.”
You gave him a soft smile. “She must look up to you for a reason.”
He snorted. “I try to set an example. But I’m afraid she’ll become closed off like me. She’s very bright.”
You could practically feel your heart bloom. The way that he spoke of her with such a gentle voice put a funny feeling in your stomach.
“You must love her.”
“I do,” He said with an affectionate tone. “That’s why I’m here in the first place.”
You furrowed your eyebrows at that, toying with the broken spine of the sketchbook. He quickly noticed your confusion and he sighed.
“She wanted these drawing supplies. You know, the ones with unicorns and colorful rainbows on them. So naturally, as a great older brother, I bought them.”
You laughed at that. He gave you a small smile back.
“But I was also late to school so…” His ears turned red. “I had to bring them here.”
“And?” You watched him curiously.
“The other guys in my class noticed.” He frowned. “They threatened to steal them and when they found out that it was for my little sister, they even said some mean things about her. They haven’t even seen her before.”
“Oh,” You breathed out, guiltily. “Is that why you punched one of them?”
He nodded with a sigh. “It’s okay. She was happy to receive them.” He grinned fondly. “She even gave me a hug.”
“So you’re the protective type,” You wondered. You looked at him with kind eyes. “I’m sorry about what happened.”
He shrugged. “As long as she’s happy.”
You gave him a slight smile as you stood up from the stool. Motioning to the door that led directly to the school courtyard, you turned to him. “Would you like to take a walk? We're done here anyway.” Unfortunately, you couldn’t leave right after finishing cleaning since the principal had set a certain mandatory time for both of you to stay here. Quite stupid in fact. 
But, you adored the school courtyard. Especially when it was bright and sunny, all the flowers along the trail brought a certain peace to your usually stressed mind.
Hyunjae looked at you with slight surprise. “Me?” 
“Who else?” You frowned.
He shrugged. “Don’t know. No one usually asks me these types of things. You’re a nice change of pace.”
Your eyes softened at that. Well, up until he—
“Getting clingy for me already?”
You gawked at him. “No? Oh my god, I was being a perfectly nice friend, and you…“
Hyunjae raises his hands up like he was being arrested as he heads for the door, gesturing that you go first. He laughed, “Sorry, sorry. And are we really friends now?”
“If you would like?” You looked at him unsurely.
“Great.” He gave you a kind smile.
As you walked, the afternoon sun beaming down on you, the two of you fell into a comfortable silence.
“So you’re just a quiet person?” You spoke up.
He turned to you. “I guess so. I promise I don't usually punch people.” He winced at the thought.
You snorted. “I get it. You were just being a good older brother.”
He hummed as he kicked at a pebble, watching it roll away.
“How was the party?” He asked quietly. “And don’t tell me you actually needed a date because I would have gladly—“
“Oh we don’t have to talk about it,” You whined. “It was a mess. Everyone was disappointed and I felt like such a failure.”
He smirked. “I mean it wasn’t all a failure.”
You looked at him. And now that you were getting a proper look, you found that he was much better than decent-looking. He was handsome. You’ve witnessed the kind side of him already and so the teasing smile on his lips began to become almost… charming.
“How’s that?” You narrowed your eyes. “You weren’t even there.”
“But I saw you. On the way home.” You could’ve sworn he did a once-over as if he was imagining you in your party attire again. “You looked beautiful.”
Your retort was caught in your throat as quickly as a spark of fire. Almost tripping on a crack in the ground, you cleared it and turned away.
“Thank you.” You squeezed your eyes shut, knowing that he was still watching you intently. “Still think it was a failure.”
When there was no response, you looked back up only to meet Hyunjae’s amused expression. He was smiling at you softly and his eyes sparkled with a hint of mischievousness.
“What is it?” You spoke cautiously.
“Nothing.” He tilted his head slightly, his eyes wandering to one of your ears. “Your ears turned red.”
Stuttering, you shoved him harshly in the chest. “Shut up. And your uniform! It’s all messed up.”
He grinned wider, leaning close so that he could whisper right into your ear where supposedly, they were red from embarrassment.
“It’s a stylistic choice.”
Inhaling sharply, you pulled away, his low voice leaving shivers down your spine. “W-well it’s a horrible one. So face me.”
He easily complied, shockingly. Your fingers hesitated at his chest, multiple red alarms going off in your head asking what the hell are you doing? Ignoring them, you began to button up his white dress shirt. Accidentally, your fingers brushed against his bare skin in which you could see that he gulped. You smiled slightly, glad to know that you also had an effect on him.
Then, your hands came down to his loose tie, pulling it right up to his collar. You desperately tried to ignore his watchful eyes, looking down at you.
“Done,” You breathed out as you tried to avoid his knowing eyes. “And tuck your shirt in yourself.” 
“So you’re not going to shove your hands down my pants today? Disappointing.”
“You dirty-minded moron.” Checking your watch, you realized that you could have left long ago. 
But he stopped you, his hand catching your wrist.
“Your hair.” He approached you this time, his large hand smoothing down a lock of hair. Just as you thought he was done, he tucked one piece behind your ear, his touch gentle and almost caring. “There.” He smiled. “I returned the favor.”
A quiet “thank you” was all you could muster. Your heart was beating abnormally fast. It didn’t help that he decided to tuck another piece of hair behind your other ear, his fingers brushing softly against your cheek.
“I didn’t know I looked like a mess,” You muttered.
“Still pretty to me.” He smiled.
And so with a wave, you said goodbye to Lee Hyunjae who wasn’t so scary after all. With a quirk of his lip, he waved back.
“Look who’s late this time?” You lifted an eyebrow as you leaned against one of the many bookshelves. Contrary to popular belief—by that you mean, your classmates who still think that you’re some literature god who can decipher every single piece of Shakespeare just by skimming through the plays—you didn’t often come to the library.
It was rickety and had odd lighting, making everything seem orange and dark. In front of you were two carts, filled with books that needed to be returned to their rightful home. What a boring detention task. How’s this supposed to teach you to do the right thing?
Hyunjae approached you with an obviously faked guilty look. “Sorry about that.” His voice was oddly croaky. As if he had just woken up. “I fell asleep. Physics is really boring.”
So he really did just wake up.
You gazed at him wordlessly. And then you walked forward, pushing one of the carts straight into his stomach. With how tired he was, he couldn’t quite register the feeling yet.
And then he groaned in pain.
“Y/n.” He scowled. 
You smiled cheekily. “Let’s get this over with.”
“After you,” He sighed, motioning to the first section labeled Historical Nonfiction.
As you two wandered the various bookshelves, placing the books back, the two of you had a few casual conversations. Sometimes, Hyunjae would make you laugh. And sometimes, you would just feel the need to fix his tie and collar all over again.
“Your uniform,” You grumbled. “It bothers me.”
He smirked. “Want to button it up for me again?”
You swallowed thickly. “No. Do it yourself.”
“But I like when you do it for me,” He replied, unabashed.
“Be quiet,” You snapped, slapping his hand with a book in which he winced. 
It grew quiet after that. Still, the silence was never one that was awkward or made either of you uncomfortable. It was just… simple. The shuffling of your clothes and the thump of books being placed on the shelves. But there was one question that continued to linger in your mind.
“Hey, I have something to ask.” You turned to him. 
“Hm?”
“Who were the guys who made fun of you? And the one that you punched?” You asked.
He paused, looking at you indecisively. “And what are you going to do with them if I tell you?”
“Nothing,” You replied. “Just curious.”
He eyed you suspiciously but he ultimately exhaled deeply. “There were only two. One being the guy who ran against you for student council…”
Your mouth dropped open at that. Oh, how you hated that guy. He was obnoxious, had an incredibly loud and squeaky voice, and he absolutely loved bothering you. He once even tried to sabotage one of your events.
“And the other was the captain of the football team. The one I punched.”
Now you were gaping at Hyunjae like he was crazy.
“You punched him?”
“Yeah, and?” He widened his eyes cutely.
“But he’s seems so… strong,” You wondered. You had seen the way he plowed through other players in games.
He gave you a slightly crooked smile. “But look who’s broader?” 
You grew quiet at that. And you must be insane because your eyes quite literally scanned over Hyunjae. Were his shoulders always this wide? And the way that his sleeves were rolled up slightly to reveal his arms were so–
“Focused?” He teased, leaning closer.
“Mhm,” You breathed out. “They’re assholes.”
He gave you a half-hearted smile. “Well, what can I do? At least I get to spend more time with you.”
You rolled your eyes, reaching back into the cart. Reading the number on it, you internally groaned when you realized that it was meant to be on the very first shelf. The one at the very top. Biting your lip slightly, you reached up. To no avail, you couldn’t quite extend far enough.
That was when you felt a chest being pressed up to your back. Hyunjae’s chest. He took the book from your hand, his skin brushing with yours as he placed the book for you. Gulping thickly, you looked up, only to meet his soft eyes. He lingered there for a moment, leaving you to realize that he smelled good. Very odd observation to make.
When he finally pulled away, you stared at him with utter shock.
“Shy, dear president?” He whispered. “Your ears are red again.”
“I’m–” You jerked a thumb behind you, desperately trying to escape. “I’m going to go. Th-thank you.”
“Anytime.” He gave you an annoyingly flirty wink as he pushed his own cart. The two of you went your separate ways.
You hummed to yourself as you worked on your own section. But you slowly stopped when you realized just how lonely it was without Hyunjae around to tease you or talk about random topics. Still, you prevailed. After what happened, you weren’t sure if you could face him again.
With a tired sigh, you pushed the cart, rounding the next corner. That was when you saw two boys. One had an annoyingly high-pitched voice, almost like a stupid mouse. You recognized him. The other walked with his chest funnily puffed out. You also recognized him. The football captain. So Hyunjae really is broader, you wondered to yourself.
But then you froze. Hyunjae is right here, in this room. And if they saw him– 
Leaving your cart behind, you whipped around, weaving through the many bookshelves. With rapid breaths, you searched for him, only for you to ultimately run straight into his firm back.
He jumped, turning around.
“Y/n?”
You didn’t reply. Without a second thought, you grabbed hold of his wrist and pulled him along. You dragged him into another section. Then, you pushed him against the bookshelf, pressing your body close up to him. Again, you were surrounded by his scent which still smelled incredibly good, much to your demise.
He stayed silent, studying you with a tilt of his lips. You stared back up at him. You should be explaining but instead, you seemed to be in a trance over how warm his body was and how his lips were very–
“What’s this?” He finally purred, his voice low.
“Shush,” You whispered. When you realized that he was staring down at your lips, you shut your eyes and pressed your forehead against his chest shyly. “I saw them. I’m trying to hide you.”
“Oh,” He breathed in slight surprise. Then he huffed out with amusement. “I don’t think this is really working,” He teased. “They could still see me. Plus, it seems like it’s you who’s hiding. In my chest specifically.”
Clearing your throat, you lifted your head and looked up at him with embarrassment. 
“But that’s kind of you.” He grinned.
“Shh.” You pressed a finger to his lips. He only smiled wider. The two of you stayed in that position for a few more minutes that almost began to feel like hours. His hands were straight at his sides as if he were afraid to touch you. You were still pressed up against him, your hand resting on the bookshelf and the other toying nervously with the hem of your clothes.
Once you were sure that there were no more voices, you pulled away, brushing yourself off. You were about to make a joke to clear the tension that had suddenly built up when you heard a man talk. Specifically, the football captain. The one that Hyunjae had punched. 
“Hold on,” He called out to the other boy. “I need a book for my Greek mythology project.”
You glanced at the nearby sign that clearly, ironically, and very unfortunately read Greek Mythology. You turned back to him with panic.
“Hyunjae–”
He stared at you silently. You gasped when you felt a hand snake around your waist.
“Do you trust me?” He asked.
“What?” You replied with alarm. “You’re asking me that now?”
“Do you?” Hyunjae repeated, furrowing his eyebrows.
You gulped. “Yes.”
And in just a second, he had flipped you around so that the ridges of the bookshelf jutted into your back this time. His hand tightened around your waist and his other hand wandered to your upper back. 
“Wha–”
“Close your eyes.”
Your mind was already rushing with a million thoughts. But you still followed his order, shakily shutting your eyes closed. That was when you were only left with your sense of hearing, smell, and touch. You could hear him, feel him shuffle closer. You could hear his breath against your ear. Why was he so close? And then you felt his lips–his very warm lips–brush against your neck.
Inhaling sharply, your whole body went rigid.
He didn’t do anything else, you soon realized. He simply lingered on your neck, breathing slowly as his hands continued to pull you closer. Hyunjae had you trapped in his arms, his lips just centimeters away from the spot under your jawline. Yet he never made contact. Except for that accidental brush that sent goosebumps down your whole body.
That was when you heard the guy’s voice again and his footsteps approaching.
“It’s here– what the hell? Nevermind. And get a room.” 
And then the footsteps receded.
After what felt like forever, Hyunjae stepped away. He seemed to be experiencing the same effect with the way he was breathing heavily and his cheeks were tinted red. But this was his doing after all.
You opened your mouth and closed it repeatedly, trying to find the words to say. And then you shoved him by the chest.
“What was that for?” You exclaimed. Your hand came up to that same spot on your neck, which felt warm from his breathing. You felt a flush from head to toe. “You almost– kissed me.”
“That was the point,” He replied. “To make it look like we were making out and having the time of our lives.” His eyes continued to linger on your lips and that specific area on your neck. “What perfume do you use? It smells amazing. Pretty like you.”
You froze. And then you groaned with frustration.
“I didn’t– wear perfume today,” You muttered. “And was that the best you could do? We couldn’t– run away? You had to…” You trailed off, the sensation coming back to you all over again. “Do that thing?”
“What thing?” He smirked. “Almost kiss your neck?”
“Yes,” You mumbled. “That.”
He thought for a moment. 
“Because,” He whispered, leaning closer. “This is more fun.” He adjusted your crumpled collar, his hands lingering there, before looking back up at you with a teasing smile. “Your ears are red again.”
And then he walked away, leaving you to stare after him in complete shock. Lee Hyunjae was not scary at all. In fact, he made your heart beat faster. Much, much faster.
“Can I take you out somewhere?” He had come up to you after all the books had been put away. You still couldn’t quite look him in the eyes. And it seemed that he noticed as his eyes glinted with mischievousness. 
“Okay,” You replied, still avoiding his eyes like your life depended on it. “Where to?”
“I’ll tell you when you look me in the eye.”
His finger hooked under your chin, forcing you to anyway. You inhaled sharply.
“I’m looking now,” You whispered with your voice wavering.
“I was thinking, roller-skating?”
Your eyes brightened at that. “Oh yes! That would be so fun. We’re going to have so much fun.” You turned on your heel, bounding out the door.
You missed the way Hyunjae gazed at you with fondness.
“This is not fun,” He muttered. His knuckles were practically white with how hard he was holding on to the railing. You giggled at the sight as you easily glided past him. He watched you with a glare.
“Do you need help?” You called out to him, taking note of the way his legs wobbled like a baby deer.
“I do not,” He huffed, trying to save his pride. But then he paused. “Can you… maybe?” Now it was his turn to not look you in the eye.
“Of course.” You smiled, appearing by his side. You held out your hand in which he stared at it in confusion. “Take it,” You urged. “And follow me.”
It was strange to see how easily his flirty persona had completely disappeared at this moment. You liked this side of Hyunjae: his eyes round and nervous, his eyebrows furrowed in frustration, and his lips pulled into a concentrated pout. All it took was for him to choose to go roller skating. Even though he couldn’t even roller-skate himself.
Hesitantly, he took your hand in his. You ignored the way that his fingers and palm fit so perfectly with yours. You also tried to ignore how smooth and warm his hand was. And the fact that you had already felt his hand before. On your waist.
You still never quite got past that moment. Something about the memory put a butterfly-like feeling in your stomach.
“Set your feet wider apart.” You slightly pulled him away from the railing. He looked at you with an adorably nervous expression. You laughed. “When you step, try to lean on each side. So you can balance.”
He followed what you said and soon enough, the two of you were skating down the rink. Smoothly? Not really, with the way he constantly stumbled like a deer learning how to walk. But it was enjoyable, the way he would occasionally smile at you, his hand tightening on yours.
“Hyunjae, you’re a professional now,” You joked.
He scowled adorably. “You’re so funny. You enjoy my embarrassment.”
“Maybe I do,” You snorted. “You’re getting better though.” 
He looked at you earnestly. You could see the way the purple and blue lights, lit up every feature of his face, creating a view that could fit perfectly in a soft-colored painting. It seemed that the lighting also affected you as his thumb began to caress your hand. 
“You look pretty,” He whispered, only loud enough for you to hear.
You widened your eyes. “Hyunjae–”
“And you make me smile,” He confessed. “So thank you. For trusting me, even when others don’t. I promise I really don’t punch people on the usual.”
You laughed, your eyes crinkling. “Of course I’d trust you. You’re very charming, did you know that?”
He only scrunched his nose in response, but you could see that his ears have tinted red, even under the blue-ish lighting.
“Your ears are red,” You pointed out. 
“Haha.” He narrowed his eyes.
Now, the two of you were walking home together. Though you did insist that you could do so on your own, he refused to leave your side. He even gave you those stupid puppy eyes that you couldn’t reject.
“Did you have fun?” He peered at you, anxiousness flitting across his expression.
You smiled reassuringly. “Definitely.” And you don’t know why you did it, but you reached forward and took his hand in yours. His eyes went wide in an adorable way as he gazed down at your connected hands. You could even see him struggle to hold back a smile.
Then, he schooled his expression into a teasing one again. The one that you’ve grown to become used to.
“Hey, do you know what this means?”
“That we’re very good friends?” You gazed at him innocently. You held hands with your friends so that must be what it means. Right?
“That we’re— what?” He stared at you in utter disbelief.
“Good friends?” You stared back. His firm grip on your hand loosened slightly at that. “Because we’re hanging out. Are we not?”
He furrowed his eyebrows. “I thought this was a da—“
But then your house came into view. You turned to him with bright eyes.
“We’re here,” You sighed. “Thank you, Hyunjae. For a wonderful hangout.”
“Hangout,” He choked out. He reluctantly let go of your hand as he still held into the tips of your fingers. “Yes, hangout. I had fun.” His smile was almost painful, forced.
You grinned, pulling away, the constant spark between your hands finally being broken. You gave him a small wave in which he did the same.
Lee Hyunjae who was a good friend. A friend who almost kissed you and held your hand the whole night. A great friend.
“Am I being friend-zoned?” He muttered to himself, kicking a can that lay astray on the sidewalk.
He mulled over all the possibilities. It was either you were just incredibly oblivious, or you didn’t like him back and were trying to let him off kindly. He sighed, pouting to himself.
His mind darted back to all things regarding you. He would never admit how much you made him blush just over the thought of your smile. And the way you filled him with warmth, he sometimes daydreamed of just pulling you into a hug. 
Suddenly, his cheeks began to hurt. Ah. He’s smiling to himself again like a lovesick fool.
“Fine,” He groaned, slapping himself. “I’ll just get over this stupid crush.”
Should be easy.
Being president of the student council had its sorrows. When you said that the party was the last event of the year, apparently you were wrong. The principal suddenly wanted you to set up a fundraiser in three days' time.
Not to mention that you had exams to study for and projects to keep you up late at night. You’re not only stressed but a little bit—no—very sleep deprived. 
With a pained sigh, you flopped your head on the desk, hitting your forehead with a thump that only worsened your headache. You felt someone poke your shoulder so you were forced to look up. 
“Could you please do my homework?” Your classmate pleaded. “I have a date tonight but I’m failing this class.”
Another poke on your shoulder. You turned.
“Can you send me the instructions for the literature project?”
And another except on your back. You turned around again.
“For the fundraiser event, how many tabl–”
Abruptly, you stood up from your desk, your chair creating a loud sound that made everyone else in the classroom jump. You pinched the crease behind your eyebrows.
“I have a headache,” You told all three students who were pleading with you to do their work for them. Two of them simply grumbled and turned away. But one, she was your favorite of all, looked at you with kind eyes.
“You should go to the nurse’s office.” 
With a deep breath, you nodded and headed out the door. Again, you were met with a choice–a fork in the road, per se. To your right, was the nurse who could treat your pounding headache. But to your left was the stairway to the rooftop of the school.
You turned left again.
Bursting through the doors, you took a long inhale as you enjoyed the fresh air. Luckily, the weather was bright and blue, perfect for clearing your head. Other than the drawings in your sketchbook, you had another secret. That was the rooftop.
You often came here whenever your brain was fuzzy with unnecessary thoughts. You liked to sit here alone, doodle on a blank page, and just be yourself. All alone.
Except you weren’t.
When you turned to your usual spot, a wall that was at a certain angle where you could see all the prettiest clouds, there was someone else sitting there.
“Hyunjae?” You peered at him. 
He looked up at you with slight surprise as he pulled off his earphones. He looked attractive like this. He was sitting against the grey wall, one leg extended. His hair was messy and tousled from the wind and he had that signature smile on. You couldn’t quite tell if it was teasing or genuine. But you liked it anyway.
“Y/n,” He breathed out and then he patted the spot next to him, inviting you to sit. As you did, you immediately felt comfort from the way his shoulder pressed against yours, his warmth taking away that chilling feeling that clouded your mind the past few hours.
“What are you doing here?” You asked, turning to him. You inhaled slightly when you realized just how close he was. You took the time to run your eyes over his soft features, your gaze lingering on his bottom lip for a second longer.
“I hate physics,” He deadpanned. “And you?”
“I’m just tired,” You laughed bitterly. He took note of your tone and he shuffled even closer to you so now your legs were touching.
The two of you fell in silence. You played with your fingers with nervousness. You didn’t even know what you were nervous about. Was it him? Was it the way that he continued to look at you with so much softness in his eyes?
“You know, Hyunjae,” You started, your voice low. “You’re not all too bad.”
He huffed out a laugh. “I thought that we’ve established that a long time ago.”
“But what you said earlier. While roller-skating.” You faced him with a soft tilt of your lips. He gazed back, a strange tenderness behind his expression. “You make me smile too.”
“Oh. That’s… good,” He replied breathlessly. “Did you come here just to tell me that?”
“No.” You rolled your eyes. “I really am tired. You call me dear president but I’m tired of being one. I came here to clear my mind.”
He was quiet for a moment.
“Would you like me to leave?” He questioned.
And he didn’t even move but you were already grasping his wrist in your fingers.
“Stay,” You whispered. “I like being with you.”
His eyes widened at your words and you could even see, under the afternoon light, that his cheeks have tinted pink.
“I’m going to flunk physics class if I keep skipping,” He muttered but he still relaxed next to you. 
“I can teach you,” You offered. “When I’m not exhausted.”
“Mhm,” He hummed with amusement. “You do that. When you’re not exhausted.”
You didn’t reply. Instead, you leaned your head on his shoulder. It was warm against your cheek and honestly made a great pillow. You could feel him stiffen for a second but he slowly leaned closer so that your neck wouldn’t hurt. Your fingers stayed on his wrist, holding it loosely as his hand laid out on your lap.
Quietly, he leaned his head against yours, encompassing you in warmth and… something else.
After a while, Hyunjae lifted his head to check up on you, only to find that you had fallen asleep on his shoulder, your cheek smushed (adorably, in his opinion) into it. He was glad that you weren’t awake, or else you would notice how fast his heart was pounding. Then he glanced down to where his hand was still on your lap, your fingers wrapped around gently.
He gulped thickly as he turned away. He couldn’t move but he desperately wanted to. When he had said that he would get over you, it seemed almost impossible now with how strong his feelings had become.
“I really like you,” He whispered. And he hoped that he would one day tell you when you were properly awake.
As time passed, you grew closer to Hyunjae. From a student that you had only merely heard rumors about, to a friend in which you’ve started to notice the way his lips moved for some reason.
It also seemed that the principal had forgotten to schedule your last detention. Not that you minded, but it made it harder for you to see him. But of course, he took it as his responsibility to take you out to places whenever he could.
And the rooftop slowly became a two-person thing. Usually, you ended up falling asleep on his shoulder. He would always reassure you that he didn’t mind.
Lately, you’ve noticed that he had grown quiet. A lot more than usual. Of course, he teased you but you’ve also taken note of the way he often liked to just look at you. If you were talking, he would gaze at you with soft eyes. Or if you smiled, he would smile back, looking at you as if you had hung the stars in the sky.
It was the night before school. You had things to prepare but mostly, you laid in bed, bored. But you lifted your head when you heard the doorbell ring. Furrowing your eyebrows and glancing at the time, you realized that you had no deliveries or guests to expect.
Rushing to the door, you turned the knob. You widened your eyes.
Hyunjae. He was dressed in his usual school uniform. Except something was different. His collar was ironed, every button was properly done, and his tie was pulled up correctly. His hair though, was still tousled. It always has been. It reminded you much of a puppy.
In his hands was a bouquet of flowers. Held close to his chest, you could recognize pink roses. You once read in a book that it meant innocent love. He looked straight out of a romance comic book. Charming in his school uniform and lovely with the flowers that complimented his golden skin.
Your eyes traveled down and–
You choked.
There was a small girl on his side. His little sister. She was grinning up at you and you couldn’t help but notice the resemblance. They both had the same deer eyes and an adorable smile. The only difference was her height which only reached up to Hyunjae’s mid-thigh, as well as her chubby cheeks.
You turned to Hyunjae.
“What are you–”
“Babysitting duty,” He blurted out. “But I just need to tell you something. If you would listen.”
You gazed at him for a moment, taking in the sight. He shuffled on his feet and you could tell that he was incredibly nervous.
“Okay,” You replied in surprise. “What is it?”
“I…” He trailed off as if his mind had suddenly gone blank. But then his sister tugged on his hand. He crouched down so that she could whisper in his ear. You watched, completely endeared.
“Right.” He cleared his throat. “I want to tell you that I…” He trailed off again. His cheeks turned red. He looked down at her. “I forgot again.” 
His little sister groaned. He smiled sheepishly as he turned back to you.
“I like you.”
Your lungs felt like they were punctured as the pieces all clicked for you, just like they had when you found out his name back in that art room. The flowers in his hands which probably mean everything about romance and the fact that he fixed up his uniform for you; the soft looks whenever you would laugh; his constant flirting that you had imagined to just be his humor; it all meant something.
“You… what?” You uttered.
“I like you. I have for a while,” He said with his voice wavering. “And I was supposed to tell you this huge speech that we–” He glanced down at the small girl. “–prepared together. But I get nervous around you so I forgot.”
“Hyunjae…”
“And I don’t know if you return my feelings.” He frowned. “But I just wanted to tell you that I have this gigantic crush on you. She would know.” He gestured to her again. “She always points out how I’m always blushing.”
“Blushing?” You widened your eyes.
“Because I’m thinking of you,” Hyunjae whispered. 
“Oh,” You breathed. “But why me?”
“I love everything about you.” He gave you a soft smile. That same one that you seem to see every day now. “Your smile is pretty. You’re just very beautiful. Inside and out. All the time.”
You felt like your face was on fire and that you might just suffocate from how fast your heart was beating.
He sighed, noticing your silence. “You don’t have to return your feelings or say anything ye–”
“I like you too,” You squeaked.
His lips parted at that, the flowers falling to his side. “You do?”
“Yes, I think.” You smiled sheepishly. “I’m new to this, Hyunjae.”
He grinned, looking at you teasingly. “I can guide you, dear president.”
“Don’t call me that,” You groaned. 
“I can call you anything,” He muttered, stepping closer. You looked up at him, your eyes studying his soft expression. “Gorgeous.” He tucked a piece of hair around your ear. 
“Hyunjae,” You whispered.
“Or would you prefer breath-taking?” He teased. 
“Neither.” You squeezed your eyes shut.
“It seems that you like both, sweetheart.”
“Mister,” You warned. “There is a child present.”
He widened his eyes and he stepped away immediately as if he had just remembered. Hastily, he turned to his little sister who was staring up at the two of you innocently.
“If you speak of this to mom…” He narrowed his eyes. “She’s going to kill me, you know?”
The girl only giggled and made a zipping motion to her mouth.
You snorted at the sight.
“Hyunjae,” You spoke up again. “How long have you liked me?”
He smiled. “A long time. You’re awfully oblivious, Y/n. That time we went roller-skating was meant to be a date. And why do you brush off my flirting everytime?”
You stuttered, “I– I’m sorry. I thought–”
He laughed, gazing at you fondly. “As long as you know now.”
You hummed, leaning against the doorway. “I guess you have me now, handsome.” You looked at him slyly.
His eyes were adorably wide now. He straightened up. “Repeat that?”
“Handsome?”
“Yes, that,” He breathed out. 
“Handsome.”
He turned to face his little sister. “Hold this.” He placed the bouquet of flowers in her small hands. And then he immediately stepped forward and hooked a hand around your waist. He quickly pulled you in, causing you to stumble slightly and fall into his chest. Steadying you with a small smile, he brought you into a kiss without a warning. 
You gasped in surprise but you slowly relaxed into it. Your hands wandered to the back of his neck, causing him to hum with satisfaction. The kiss was soft and innocent with barely any movement and his lips were even softer than you imagined. You could sense that he was going to deepen it but you were interrupted by a small, “Gross!” 
The two of you pulled apart, only to see that his little sister had cutely stuck her tongue out. He scowled playfully before reaching down to pick her up in his arms, as she tightly held onto the flower bouquet in her small hands.
“This was your idea in the first place, dummy,” He grumbled, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead, causing her to laugh adorably. You smiled at the sight.
Lee Hyunjae wasn’t scary at all. In fact, he was just a huge softie who had fallen in love with you.
You could be going on dates with Hyunjae but instead, you were still serving detention with him. After your first kiss with him, it seemed that the day after, the principal suddenly remembered to schedule your detention time.
With a sigh, you swept the classroom. Classroom 1-B, specifically Hyunjae’s classroom. 
“I daydreamed a lot about you here.” He brushed past you with a small smirk.
Your cheeks flushed. “About… what?”
“A lot.” He walked past you again, this time letting his hands fall to your waist for a moment. You inhaled sharply at the sensation. “Your lips.” 
You gulped, turning to him. To no surprise, he was staring straight at your lips.
“I daydreamed about hugging you.” He suddenly appeared behind you, wrapping his arms around you into a firm back hug. You couldn’t help but smile at the way he nuzzled his nose into your shoulder.
“Hyunjae,” You whispered. “We’re supposed to be cleaning right now.”
He smiled, holding you tightly. His lips only hovered over that spot on your neck. The spot that he had almost kissed back in the library.
“But we’re alone. Just the two of us,” He muttered back. You swallowed thickly, willing yourself not to let your eyes wander down. The whole day, during classes, you kept thinking of them. What it would be like to kiss them again. 
Really, your only kiss with him was the one on your porch. The one that was interrupted by his little sister.
“We have responsibilities,” You shakily replied.
“But don’t you want to know about my last daydream?” He pulled away, his hand still placed on your hip.
You breathed deeply, knowing very well that your ears were red right now, which he loved to point out.
“What… is it?” You glanced at him nervously.
“I daydream about kissing you.” He leaned close from behind, letting his lips brush against the side of your cheek. And you had hoped. Really hoped that he would whip you around and pull you into a deep kiss. But much to your disappointment, he only walked by, off to pick up some crumpled test papers.
With a groan of frustration, you set your broom down.
“You can’t just say that and not–” You sighed, shutting your eyes with embarrassment. “Not kiss me.”
His eyes sparkled at that but he only spared you a glance.
“But apparently you think cleaning a classroom is more important,” He hummed. “I respect your opinion. So I guess you’ll just have to wait for my kiss.”
You glared at him for a moment. But he only tilted his head, his lips quirking up slightly. With an annoyed sigh, you picked the broom up and began to sweep the floor again. This time, a little bit faster and more aggressively.
Hyunjae only chuckled at your actions. 
And purposely, like the absolute lunatic he is, he would brush past you, letting his hands trail somewhere on his body. Every time, you would scrunch your eyebrows, trying to contain the sudden need to grab his collar and pull him into a harsh kiss.
“Focus.” 
“Shut up.” You glared.
“You can shut me up later.” His eyes again, traveled downwards.
Once you were sure that the floor was clean enough, you practically threw the broom off somewhere. Storming over to where he was waiting for you, leaning back against the teacher’s desk, you faced him.
“Are you going to kiss me now?” You said.
He smiled. “Should I?”
You frowned. “Because we’re finished so–”
“Can’t get enough of me?” He quirked his head. He stood up. Again, you were reminded of just how tall he was. “Can’t stop thinking of my lips?” He took a step forward. You took a step backward, blinking nervously.
“What are you doing?” You whispered.
“You want to kiss me so bad, don’t you?” He teased, continuously backing you up. “That you rushed all of your cleaning just so you could press your lips to mine?” 
You gasped when you realized the back of your thighs hit a student’s desk. He only continued to step closer, forcing you to sit up on the desk. He watched you with a glint in his eyes. And then he stepped in between your legs, caging you between his arms and hovering over you with his hands resting on the desk on either side of you.
“Hyunjae,” You breathed out, your hands resting on his chest. 
“So should we do this properly?” He asked, his voice dropping to a low tone. His gaze followed your lips, making you hold your breath. “Since she’s not here.” 
Out of context, this would sound like a horrible love affair. But you only snorted since you knew that he was talking about his little sister.
“Are you saying that your sister is a bother?” You laughed.
“No.” He grinned. “But I can’t afford her to witness this.”
“Witness what?”
He smiled. “You know what I’m talking about.”
“Enlighten me,” You whispered.
“Should I?” He chuckled softly, as he shuffled even closer so that your chest was against his. You could even feel his breath fan over your lips. He tilted his head with a lazy smile.
You laughed, leaning your forehead against his. “Yes,” You whispered. “Or else I’ll take the lead.” 
“I would love to see that,” He teased.
And much to his surprise, you took hold of his collar, and you finally, finally, pulled him against your lips. He let out a muffled sound but he almost instantly melted against you.
Groaning with satisfaction, his hands came off the desk, instead choosing to take hold of your lower back and waist, his fingers digging into your skin. This kiss was much, much different from your first one. This one was filled with a flame that couldn’t be put out. As his lips moved against yours fervently, one hand traveled down to the side of your thigh where he pulled you closer. 
You hummed as you tangled your fingers in his soft hair, tilting your head to deepen the kiss. Easily, he obliged, kissing you so hard that you felt your hands go weak, going slack and resting on his chest. He never seemed to slow down either, only breaking away so that he could find his way under your jawline. 
“So this finally happens,” He muttered. And he leaned back in, kissing down until he found that spot–the one that he had only lingered on before in a rickety library. Now, he was pressing kisses to your skin as he meant it. You gasped at the feeling.
“Hyunjae,” You breathed out, tugging at his collar as you tilted your head against the sensation. You could even feel him begin to smile against your neck.
“Perfume?” He whispered.
“None,” You gasped.
He pulled away, searching your eyes with so much softness you felt like you could just melt right then and there. “You smell good. Sweet like candy.”
“Shut up,” You grumbled, leaning forward so that you could hide your face in his chest. His hands came to the small of your back, pulling you into a hug. It was gentle and innocent, much different from the kiss.
And then his hand came under your chin, lifting you up so that he could press his lips to yours. This time, the two of you savored the moment, moving slowly. Both of your eyes were shut and your cheeks flushed.
“She’s only five years old,” He whispered against your lips, breaking apart reluctantly. You could tell that he was trying to catch his breath as his hands wandered across your waist. “This is PG-13.” He grinned.
You laughed. Or you tried to until he shut you up with another kiss.
“You look beautiful,” He said, his eyes gentle on yours.
“And you look like a mess.”
“And who’s fault is that?” He glanced down at his crumpled collar where you had grabbed it and initiated the kiss in the first place. You smiled up at his messy hair and his pink cheeks. Then your eyes met again.
“Can I kiss you again?”
“Please.”
And he did so, pulling you closer by the waist. You were so focused on his lips that you hadn’t noticed the voices out in the hallway.
“We just need to get the flyers for–”
The door creaked open. The two of you broke apart. You looked down at the way he had you pressed up on a desk and you choked. It must be an odd sight, seeing the so-called quiet, intimidating student making out with the picture-perfect president of the student council.
And it was Younghoon and Sunwoo–members of said council. Their eyes were wide and their mouths had dropped open. Sunwoo had even let go of the book in his hand, causing a loud thump on the floor. Younghoon’s eyes trailed from both of your spit-slicked, swollen lips down to where you were all up against each other, Hyunjae’s hand still on your waist.
You stared back and Hyunjae only pulled away slightly with a smug smirk.
Sunwoo’s eye twitched. 
“What the fu–” 
336 notes · View notes
ultimateloserboy · 1 year ago
Text
I’ve been holding back this ramble forever but the food episode makes me tear up and i NEED to talk about it.
The food episode was the only episode I really couldn’t watch as a kid. I remember being horrified by it. to this day i still feel uneasy thinking about it, even though it doesn’t scare me in the slightest anymore. the reason i feel uneasy now isnt because im scared, its because to me its the saddest episode of the whole series and makes me want to punch walls. when i was younger i didnt notice a lot of the things ive noticed now, and every time i watch the episode i notice even more.
a lot of people talk about this episode as if red guy ran away and wants nothing to do with the house, that he’s trying to save the other two by bringing them to his world. while i dont think this is a wrong or bad interpretation, considering it’s understandable, id like to talk about my own interpretation. i dont think red guy even knew how he left. keep in mind he just exploded and then woke up in an office. there’s absolutely nothing suggesting he ran away on purpose. all he wanted was for colin to shut up, he wasnt intending to find the room he found. this itself isnt an interpretation, its a fact, BUT how he feels about it and what he does in the red guy world is completely up to interpretation! mine is that he wants to go home instead of trying to get the other two out of it. lemme explain ok hear me out:
throughout the entire food episode red guy is constantly popping up in the background somewhere. hes drawn behind windows and his head is in the microwave in one shot. when duck knocks the camera over for a split second you can even see his legs as it falls. the leg thing is what really got me, because most other times he was simply drawn. but those were his actual legs standing in the kitchen. to me it represents the fact that he isnt actually there but is “haunting” the other two. they dont really remember him but they can see him out of the corners of their eyes. hes blurry and far away but they KNOW someone is there (or WAS there, i should say). but on his end i think it could represent how hes still there in his head, how hes still singing songs and shit like that despite being out of that world. he says he hated that world, that hes allergic to music, but now that hes gone from it its stuck in his head. he misses the music. he misses his friends. hes still there in spirit.
before i continue id just like to say that, no, the main three INCLUDING RED GUY dont always want to leave the house. especially when they have to leave the others behind. whenever theyre off somewhere they usually want to go back home, yellow guy even said “i want to go home” word for word once. but he also said “no more songs” these things can exist at the same time guys. they can not want to drown in oil but still want to live in their house, yall realize that right? thats a huge theme in the show, that the house and the main three have a very complicated relationship. they dont want to leave their home they just want it to, yaknow, NOT EAT THEM. so i think red guy wanting to come home isnt at all out of character. and he doesnt like the red guy world anyway, why would he take his friends there when theyre wacky as shit and wouldnt fit in there or enjoy it at all? also id like to make the point that he doesnt know what’s happening in the house (at least not the seriousness of it) until he sees the machine. so him trying to save the other two from getting munched makes no sense to me personally. AGAIN THO THIS IS JUST MY INTERPRETATION!! YOURS IS VALID TOO AND I LOVE YOU!!!
But anyway continuing on, ducks reaction especially makes me insane. whenever i see how duck acts in episodes like “jobs” when he starts freaking out and trying to get the first aid kit for yellow guy im reminded of this episode. duck really does love his friends at heart. he doesnt want to leave the house, he sees no point, but to me the reason he doesnt want to leave is BECAUSE of his friends (or at least one of the reasons). in the tv series duck has a whole argument with red guy about leaving, and while some people say this duck is different than webseries duck i have to disagree. i think duck wouldve always argued about staying, but i also think hed always want to leave if red guy did. duck always switches up as soon as something is “wrong”. he always wants to stay until one of his friends is acting weird/hurt/missing and then suddenly the world isnt right and he doesnt want to be there. not only that but he will do everything in his power to fight against the things keeping him from his friends or hurting them, even if it means risking his own life. he knew some weird shit was going on every time he answered the phone, but despite that he continued answering anyway. he interrupted the songs and pushed things away and kept running to the phone, being disobedient and not giving a damn. this isnt unusual for duck, but it makes me especially ill, because he acts very confused as well. hes very upset, not mad like he usually is but genuinely upset and worried. most likely because of how hazy his memory is. my favorite scene of the series is when he pushes over the camera and says “i dont want to do this anymore” it rips my heart apart hes just like me fr. it also comes back to the transport episode, where hes like “well the song wasnt that great but at least it was funny. nobody gets TOO hurt by these songs and stuff so who cares? why leave?” i think hes always thought this way, the reason he says “i dont want to do this ANYMORE” is because suddenly the world has shifted. suddenly things are much more sinister and make even less sense. suddenly he is in genuine danger, and he isnt coming back this time. things have gone too far now, and he tries tearing down reality itself to get out, but unfortunately hes just not strong enough.
i also like to think that the food is singing about red guy the whole time, not actually food, and how he deserves punishment, and if you end up like him youll be punished too (which is exactly what happens to duck for answering the phone) “the bad, not-healthy foods are very rude! and must leave through the catflap!” isnt that what red guy did? he wandered too far and saw what he shouldnt have so he was sent away. also the steak says “you need to know whats right from wrong” which doesnt go with the rest of the song at all and seems to be directed at duck specifically. it seems more like theyre trying to keep duck and yellow guy in line rather than teach them about food. when they say “you shouldnt eat food from a strangers plate” considering the previous lyrics and the context before the chanting i think theyre talking about not believing what youre told by “strangers” (aka the non-teacher characters) theyre saying not to listen to whatever red guy is trying to say, to not answer the phone, to not end up like him. or at least thats what i think anyway.
lastly, the ending. yellow guy sitting in the kitchen alone, in the dark, covered in blood while the phone loudly rings is probably the most haunting part of the series to me. remember what i said about not being scared? well i LIED. this scene specifically still scares the fuck out of me. it fills me with genuinely painful dread. the scene where he looks over at the phone, hearing it but not getting up to answer it and letting it ring until red guy gives up is heartbreaking. im not sure if yellow guy even knows what’s happening in this scene, but hes been taught by now to NOT ANSWER THE PHONE. so he doesnt. and the teachers leave him alone with the phone because theyre confident he wont answer it. and theyre right. it breaks my heart just looking at it. in the next episode he ends up fighting back just like duck did, but just like duck, he cant truly do anything. it really puts into perspective how powerless all three of them are. god it ruins me. all they wanted was to know what the biggest thing in the world was, and now theyve been torn apart for wandering too far. cries and sobs
190 notes · View notes
jesterwriting · 1 year ago
Note
Hi jesteeer! Congrats on the 100 followers dear!! Surely a thing to celebrate /gen
Today I come with an idea, I don't know if you are familiar with dangerously yours(its an old radio show? idk how to explain in english my badd ://) but there is one dialogue that always destroys me from the inside, and I just put crocodile's face on it, it goes like
Crocodile: [Name], I offer you the three things most dear to me: My heart, my country and my dream.
What if this is part of Crocy confession, when he pops the question if they want to marry him? I just really love him as a tottaly devoted and head over heels w reader, almost like Gomez, ya feel me? Anyway, sorry for the ramble, if this inspires you, please take my offering🤲🤲🤲💞💞
♠️-Anon.
pairing: crocodile x gn!reader
contents: angst, breakups, hurt no comfort, still crocodile is absolutely smitten with you
word count: 1.2k words
note: hiiiiiii. okay. listen. this went in a completely opposite direction than i intended because i was trying to think of a scenario where crocodile would say those words, but i dont think he would offer to give up his dream if he thought he could have both his lover and his dream. it’d have to be a one or the other situation. i had to put him in a Situation. thus came the angst train. i fully intended for something sweet and sappy, i really did :( HOWEVER! i do have ideas for a part two that has a happy ending hehe. sorry this is kind of painful, i hope you enjoy all the same <33 if you dont like this, you can send the request in again and ill do something actually sweet, i promise! again im really sorry for the direction this took, inspiration hit me like a brick
playlist: kingdom’s edge - christopher larkin
Tumblr media
Through tears, you stuffed your suitcase full of whatever you could get your hands on, purposely leaving out anything he gave you. Not that beautiful necklace he gently clasped around your neck, not those clothes he had tailor made to fit you, and certainly not the rings he slipped onto your fingers when he wanted to spoil you. You wanted nothing to do with him— nothing to do with Crocodile again. Not for the rest of your life, not ever.
Your breathing hitched when a photo of you fluttered from the breast pocket of Crocodile’s dress shirt you tore from the hanger and threw to the ground. It was the size of your palm, an image of you smiling warmly at the camera. You remembered when it was taken: a year ago when you first came to Alabasta. Everything felt so new then. It was your first time on the Grand Line, ecstatic for the promise of adventure that waited around every corner. At first you planned on leaving as soon as you came, but Alabasta enamored you, with its sprawling cities and beautiful sands. Yes, it had its issues, but what country didn’t? You decided that, despite everything, you would make it your home.
If there was one thing you loved more than Crocodile, it was this country, and he was killing it.
Right under your nose. The “hero” of Alabasta was destroying everything right under your fucking nose. The thought made you sick. You were under no illusions that Crocodile was a good man. You knew what happened to the handsy men who bothered you in the casino, or to those who attempted to scam you under your boyfriend’s watchful gaze. He was possessive and cruel, but still, you loved him. All of his rough edges seemed to disappear when it came to you. The way he touched you, gentle and reverent in the night, to his rare smiles only you got to see. When you loved, it was with everything you had, and you thought you could handle Crocodile at his worst; that you could carry his burdens alongside him.
But not this. Never this.
You slammed your suitcase shut. It was hard to see through your tears, sniffling sporadically as you wrestled to zip the bag closed. So caught up in your desperation, you didn’t hear the door close until it was too late.
“You’re leaving.” It wasn’t a question, it was a statement. The scent of Crocodile’s cigar filled the room, and you fought to keep from basking in its familiarity.
Everything hurt. You wanted this to all be a bad dream so you could bury your face in Crocodile’s chest and let him hold you until you fell asleep. You wanted everything to go back to normal, and some traitorous part of you wished, deep down, you never found out what exactly Baroque Works was.
Worst of all, you wanted to forgive him. It pulled at your heart, tugged at your tongue, made fat tears roll down your cheeks, and you hated it.
“Yeah. I’m leaving.” You hastily wiped away your face clean before you faced him — though you were sure your eyes were still red — and hefted your suitcase off the ground. It was heavy. You let the weight ground you.
Crocodile didn’t move from in front of the door. “It’s amusing how you think I’d let you.”
“Well, you can’t fucking keep me here. I’d make your life a living hell, I promise you.” With your back on one arm, you stomped past him and towards the door. Crocodile didn’t move an inch, staring down at you like you were no more than a petulant child.
“Stop being a brat and unpack.”
You glared up at him. “I’m serious. I’m leaving, and you can’t stop me. Now move.”
Of course, Crocodile didn’t move. You both knew he wouldn’t, but you weren’t staying here a second longer either. Letting out a heavy sigh, you stormed around him and threw open the door. To your surprise, he made no moves to grab you, remaining still as a statue as you marched to the elevator that would take you out of his goddamned penthouse.
You pressed the button, and still, Crocodile stayed in place. Unable to see his expression, you couldn’t begin to read him, nor did you want to. It was over. Whatever you had with him was done. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you choked on a m sob as the elevator dinged and the doors slid open.
“I’ll give it up.”
You froze. “What?”
“I’ll give it up. Everything. As long as you stay.”
When you turned, he was right behind you, expression the same as always. Hard and unforgiving. The only sign of any emotional lapse was the way his Adam’s apple bobbed when he swallowed, waiting for you to make your decision. When you didn’t respond, Crocodile spoke again. You tried not to think about the slight waver that interrupted his smooth words.
“I offer you the three things most dear to me: my heart, my country, and my dream. I’ll give up everything if it means you’ll stay by my side. Stay, Y/N.”
You dropped your bag and took his hand in yours. Crocodile’s fingers played with your own as you ran your thumb over each of his rings. “I can’t ask you to do that.”
Crocodile furrowed his brow. “Don’t make me ask again.”
That was the closest you would ever get to hearing the warlord beg. You let his hand drop.
“It would be better for everyone for you to give up your dream, but how could I ever ask you to do that? I love you. I’ve known you're not a good person for a long time, and I thought I was okay with that. But to ask you to give everything up, change the very foundations of who you are just so I can stay? I can’t. Even at the expense of everyone else, I can’t.” Picking up your suitcase, you turned your back to him. “You’ve made me a worse person.”
As you walked through the elevator doors and pressed the button for the lobby, all you were met with was silence. Your last glimpse of Crocodile’s face broke your heart. Instead of the stony façade he had managed to keep the entire night, he looked completely and utterly lost.
You left Alabasta that night.
It wasn’t until three weeks later, when you read that Crocodile had been arrested, did you realize that horrible pit in your gut was regret.
140 notes · View notes
chefkids · 6 months ago
Note
I have a question, what do you think Ayo’s opinion is on sydcarmy? im wondering cause im worried it won’t happen, if she has influence over their development and exerts that influence to keep them platonic. Cause she originally never thought of them as romantic, but given her chemistry with jaw and all the moments between sydcarmy, how obviously important sydcarmy are to each other and the framing and editing of the show, I wonder if her as a writer saw the potential of them and was more willing to explore it for this upcoming season hopefully. I guess we’ll find out in s3 and/or s4. I hope they have a lot of press this time and we can get more in depth interviews on them and their characters and their relationship with each other. Mainly if sydcarmy actually happens, their thoughts on the relationship, its development and their involvement in that, like jaws heart eye acting. That would be fire!
Well first of all actors, writers, directors, and producers lie all the time about what their plan and intentions are. The original script has Sydney as a 30 something year old woman and Carmy as a 25 year old. Sydney was directly inspired by Chris' sister Courtney and her experience in the culinary world and Carmy feels kind of a bit self inserty for Chris given his whole personal life story with his mom. So technically I do think the original script probably wasn't romantically inclined but a lot changed, Tina was originally a man. I think the reworked version was always meant to be a slow burn from day 1 and I'm sure Ayo knew that too and was on board with it. Season 3 is already finished and I really doubt they will back track on any of their sydcarmy storyline. I still think Ayo is on board with sydcarmy, she did say her favorite scene was the table scene. Can't get anymore straightforward than that. Ultimate it's Chris' story and he's going to play it out like he intended, unless the fx disney overlords somehow force him to change it. I think everyone's questions about them will be answered once the show/ their arc is complete, but right now they can't really say much without giving things away so I get why they don't do that much press especially together.
24 notes · View notes
whirlwindimagines · 2 years ago
Note
HELLO WHIRLL!!
May I request a Wolfwood X Gn reader, for the reader doesn’t show emotion, but when their childhood friend Nicolas is hurt that’s when they let their emotions out ?
Like say Nicolas wasn’t thinking and jumped right into danger in the heat of the moment and it pissed reader off cause he almost died💥💥
And could this be friends to lovers as well?
Thank you so much, i hope you’re having a good day/night stay hydrated! <3 and please take your time there’s no rush :))
Hello! <3 Thank you for the request! <3 Also I’m so sorry these are always so long, I am incapable of writing anything less than 800 words it seems. Okay Im always going to be a Vash girly, he has my heart. But lowkey writing all this Wolfwood stuff is kinda turning me into a Wolfwood girly as well.
'Bad ideas, and big guns'
Nicholas D. Wolfwood x Reader
Tumblr media
This was a bad idea, you knew Wolfwood could feel your glare on the back of his head. This was a bad idea ever since he got sideswiped by that reporter's car. You always followed without complaint, you knew he had his missions and you didn't ask what they intended. You didn't ask a lot of questions these days, just secretly happy to be at Nicholas's side again. Both growing up in that orphanage, you left first. It was by happenstance that you got away and never looked back. 
Running into Wolfwood again was quite the shock, maybe it was the guilt of abandoning him to his fate that kept you at his side. He didn't seem to mind, he tried to keep you out of it all. But you could fight, and you could kill, it made you use when needed. However, your opinion apparently didn't matter to Wolfwood, you thought it was dangerous to get too caught up in it all. It was getting too personal with Vash and his ragtag group; you knew it and Wolfwood knew it too.
Expect the stubborn ass wasn't listening, and was ignoring you now. It didn't matter, he wouldn't be able to tell what you were thinking anyway. You always had your emotions locked down, it made surviving easier when you could turn it all off. With a sigh you turned your gaze away, this town was like every other one you’d come across. Wolfwood and Vash were at the bar, Roberto was out having a smoke and you were sitting with Meryl at a table in the corner. 
You don't know how it starts, but it always happens too quickly. Guns are drawn on Vash, he doesn’t want to fight and it causes an uproar. You lose sight of Vash and Wolfwood as you drag Meryl out of the bar for some cover, you curse shoving Meryl out of the way as bullets rain down on the two of you. 
Moving behind some crates you bring out your own weapon, these small fries would be easy to handle. No, the real problem was the guy with the tank rolling in, you sigh leaning your head back. One normal day would be nice, just one. You hope Meryl is in a safer spot when you lean out of cover to start shooting. 
You don't get to hide for long when the tank is turned toward you. Your eyes widen as you scramble to your feet to get away. The sound is deafening, you drop to the ground. Nearly avoiding the hit, someone grabs you by the back of your shirt and hauls you to your feet. You bring your gun around to backhand them only for it to be blocked by Wolfwoods large weapon, you frown he smirks. “That’s the thanks I get for saving ya?”
“We’re not out of this yet.” You hiss, at him as he drags you behind a building. “Stay here, one blast from the punisher and it’ll bring it down.” Wolfwood doesn’t look at you as he says this, you yank on his arm to get him to turn. “That’s a stupid idea, you might not be able to a charged shot. Don't jump in without a real plan!” Wolfwood shoves you back hard, and you stumbled catching yourself on the building. “Worry about yourself.” 
You watch him take off weapon in hand, spinning it to engage its laser mode. You hate when you are right, it takes a moment too long to charge the tank fires first, Wolfwood second. The shots meet in a giant explosion. You're forced to move back behind the building, covering your eyes from all the dust and debris falling. 
The town goes silent, you leave your hiding spot. Heart-racing Wolfwood had to be directly in the blast, “Wolfwood” you called out, trying to keep your voice calm, you noticed a building in the back now has a large hole in it. Racing over you search through the debris, “Nicholas!” your voice definitely rose an octave higher as you dropped to your knees beside him, shoving wood off of him. 
He was knocked out and bleeding badly, your hands searched through its pockets finding one of the vials he carried around. Snapping the end off, you forced the liquid down his throat. Sitting back on your heels with a sigh as his wounds began to heal. You place your hand on his cheek, “Wolfwood? Can you hear me?” You ask it softly, his eyes open to your smiling face. 
“See one shot is all it took.” Your smile turns to a frown when you grab him sharply by the shoulders and begin to shake him. “You asshole! Would you just listen to me once!” you snapped out, your voice shaking with slight fear. “God I just want to hit you! Don't you ever think?” Wolfwood looks at you in shock, grabbing both of your wrists to stop your assault. “Worried about me?” he says it with that stupid smirk of his, now you really want to hit him. 
You shove him back hard, and he yelps, “I’m always worried about your dumbass!” You stand, turning to leave you don't get very far when Wolfwood grabs you by the ankle causing you to fall. You catch yourself on your hands, kicking him forcing him to let go and he yells out a ‘hey!’ 
You huff turning over to sit and look at him, “And just what was that for?” he's giving you an odd look one that unfortunately makes your heart race, Wolfwood sits up, leaning his arms over his bent knees he smirks as you. “I like this side of you, the fight.” You groan, face heating up at his words. 
“You bring out the worse in me.” You say it with a light laugh.
“I think you bring the best out in me.” He says it too seriously. 
You pause at his words, he’s staring at you openly now “Careful now, sounds like you care about me.” You say it lightly, allowing him to pull back if he needs to, you smile as he looks away nervous. Wolfwood always put on such a show for other people, but to you, he’d always be that awkward kid back in the orphanage who tried to get you to laugh. God how the two of you had grown. 
“And if I do?” He turns back to you, grinning now. Ah, so it looks like he's not going to pull back, good. You sit up on your knees in front of him, leaning in. “I would say the feelings are mutual.” You smirk grabbing him by the collar of his shirt roughly and pulling him towards you. “You ever pull that shit again I'm killing you myself got it?” 
“Got it.” He grabs you by the back of your head and pulls you in for a kiss. You roll your eyes, leaning into the kiss, at least you got to wipe that smirk off his face.
201 notes · View notes
marshmallowprotection · 1 year ago
Note
Seven and mc with abandonment issues? Ngl the apartment days would be rough for me despite understanding damn well where his reaction comes from. Its already bad when i tend to overanalyze people's word and attitude towards me and think maybe im the one being sensitive over small thing
Saeyoung would hold a lot of guilt in his heart over his actions after learning about your fears. He never intended to hurt you. He wanted to show you that being with him would make you miserable, and even though his actions were wrong in every sense of the word, he thought it would be for the best. He witnessed his brother who was supposed to be protected, in a state of pain and agony the likes of which he had never thought imaginable, only because he loved him and wanted to protect him. 
What could stop the same fate from befalling you?
He made a promise to protect his brother and that promise was broken. What would happen if you decided to trust him in the same way? What if you were used against him by the agency? What if you were used against him by the same people who tortured his brother?
The only thing he can think about is what happens when people get close to him, and how much better off they would be if they never knew him in the first place.
That was the only reason why he wanted to push you away. He didn't want to push you away, but he thought that would be for the best if knowing him would give you the same suffering it gave his brother. It's hard enough to see his brother in pain, but to add you on top of that? He wouldn't be able to go on after that.
He doesn't want to abandon you, and it's the last thing on his mind. No matter how much he tries to be cruel to you with every agonizing second, his lies fail to convince you, don’t they?
He isn't a good liar when it comes to his genuine feelings for you. He couldn't lie to you even if he wanted to. He could lie to the rest of the world but he could never lie to somebody who makes his heart flutter like you do. It's a vulnerability, and as much as he's afraid of those, he has to admit you make him feel more alive than he has in his entire life. Your smile is everything to him!
There are plenty of people in this world who want to destroy him, and if they find out he has any vulnerability in his life, they will come after it and take it away before he has the opportunity to protect it. Why do you think he spent so much time on Meowy?
He purposefully created that robot to protect you even if he couldn't be in your life firsthand. It was supposed to make you smile and give you peace of mind when you couldn't have him. He made you a gift of his love... that he was afraid to admit because you could die. Meowy is a testament to the fact that he could never leave you behind. 
But, it doesn't remove his wrongdoing... you know that and so does he. What would happen in this situation is that it would reach a breaking point for you, and you would shut down in a way that he could not turn his back on.
The sound of your agonizing tears as you plead with him over and over to understand why he would want to leave you behind after spending so much time with you, so much happy time with you, would be enough to cut through his walls like a knife. Why? Why would he lie to your face with awful words?
Words that feel more and more like the truth the longer he says them even if you know better in your heart!
His poker face can only last for so long, after all. You would think that would make him want to pull away, even more, to go through with his plan, but his heart is much more soft than he wants to admit, and you have brought out a part of him he thought was dead. The part of his heart he thought he threw away long ago. The part of his heart that wants to love and be loved.
That would be the moment when he embraces you like he wanted to from the very beginning. His arms tight as you hear the sound of his sputtering heart for the first time as it speaks the truth. The truth of his love.
"I'm sorry, [Y/N]. I know that doesn't excuse what I've been doing, but I'm so afraid of losing you. I'm afraid I’ll lose you if you get too close to me. Look at what happened to my brother. It's hard enough to think about what happened to him right now and know that I am to blame in some capacity, and if that happened to you, I don't know what I would do to myself."
"I don't know what I’d do… I’d lose myself to my misery and anger. I thought it would be better if I pushed you away from me so that you could stay safe. But, I see that pushing you away hurts you and me way more than it would if I fought for us."
"I'm sorry. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you, and I'm sorry but I don't know how to be loved by another person. I want you, and I want to keep you safe, and I don't know the best way to do that. I know you want to look out for me, too, but for you to look out for me, I have to be able to look out for you. I don't want to leave you. I want to be with you forever. I just need time to figure out a way to make that work. I sold my soul already, and I don't know how to get it back. I want to give it to you…"
36 notes · View notes