#'he sucks at sword fighting' THIS ONE. we need to do something funny with this.

[idiotsonlyevent]

i think its funny when people call law a fraud because he "doesn't have a medical degree" or "didn't take the hippocratic oath" or whatever when he is 1. canonically incredibly good at his job (and he has to be, to bring out his devil fruit's full ability) and 2. a "swordsman" despite NO ONE ever commenting on his sword-fighting abilities and NEVER actually... fighting anyone.... with a sword... without his devil fruit powers.....

[breadbrobin]

“doc”

luke castellan x reader — percy jackson and the olympians

[child of apollo reader, should be gender neutral]

i tried to write a summary but it sucked so: reader is a child of apollo and luke is always hanging around the infirmary with a new injury. you hate it (do you really?)

(this got so out of hand but im so obsessed with luke castellan rn it’s not even funny. like. help.)

warning: like one or two swear words, mentions of injuries and illness, fluff i think

word count: 1.2k

____________________

you’d never been a fan of luke castellan. you knew it, he knew it—hell, everyone at camp knew it.

but a little unfriendliness never stopped him.

children of apollo were meant to be warm and kind all the time, but you’d rather die before being happy-go-lucky all the time like your siblings. you’d rather do your job: healing the campers who injured themselves throughout the days at camp. you’d also rather those campers not include luke castellan for once, but not all wishes can come true.

scarcely a day could pass by without luke coming into the infirmary, or coming up to you elsewhere in camp if you weren’t there, with a minor injury that he insisted needed healing immediately.

“i just don’t think i can continue kayaking with a sprained ankle, y/n.”

“what if it was your knees you skinned? wouldn’t you want to get them healed so you could get back to arts and crafts?”

“if my cut finger isn’t healed as soon as possible i’ll have to sit capture the flag out tomorrow! yes, i know it’s a paper cut. that’s not the point!”

he really was ridiculous.

either way, you had to heal him, technically. at your heart, you were a good person. on the surface, you wanted to punch him. give him something to really cry about.

“y/n, your boyfriend’s here again.” one of your sisters, cassidy, called out to you as you checked the stock of bandaids.

you rolled your eyes, not even bothering to correct her. “what this time?”

“i just have the worst headache, doc. it’s killing me.” luke said dramatically, holding his forehead. the small grin on his face didn’t support his statement at all.

you turned around, eyes wide and face serious, but trying not to smirk. “oh no, you might have meningitis! if it’s the worst headache of your life, we should get to you a hospital so they can do a spinal tap and run some tests.”

the grin on his face faltered as you pulled him to a seat. “uh—“

“lie down. don’t move. i’m going to get chiron.”

he gripped your arm. “no, wait, i think—“

“you’ll be fine?” you turned around with raised brows. “yeah, thought so. drink some water, castellan.”

“but—“

“what? you won’t be able to do sword fighting practise with a headache? big deal.”

“y/n—“

“you need to stop coming in here every time you get bored. we’re not an entertainment space.”

“but, i really do have a headache. like. a migraine.”

you stopped and turned back around, dropping the bandages you had been organising. “oh. shit, i’m sorry. hold on.”

cursing yourself internally, you rushed off to get nectar to hopefully help, along with some painkillers and a bottle of chilled water. when you came back, luke was lying on the bed, eyes closed.

“you okay, soldier?” you patted his shoulder gently.

he cracked one eye open and nodded. “kind of.”

you gently pulled him to sit up. “come on. gotta get some meds in you. eat any food today? drink enough water?”

he shook his head as he sipped the nectar, his eyes squinted. “got busy.”

you shot him a disapproving look and he smiled guiltily. “you need to eat or you’ll die. do you want to die?”

he looked up at you with furrowed brows. “you don’t have a very good bedside manner, you know?”

“then why do you keep coming back here?” you went back to organising bandages, busying your hands.

“i like my doctors prettier than they are kind, honestly.”

you froze your movements and looked over at him. luke was smiling slightly. your cheeks weren’t turning red, you told yourself. they weren’t allowed to. “whatever,” you finally said. “take your meds, drink all of that water—sip it, don’t chug—then get some sleep, alright?”

he nodded, taking a sip of the water. “yes, doc. got it.”

you nodded at him firmly and walked off once he’d taken the painkillers, hoping he couldn’t see right through you.

luke hadn’t been to the infirmary in a week, and you were genuinely starting to get concerned.

every free moment you got, you were staring at the door, or out the window, waiting for him to come in with some stupid injury and even more stupid excuse. but he didn’t.

after watching you pace for the seventh time in one morning, cassidy groaned. “just go find him.”

“i’m sure he’s fine.” you said, wringing your hands. “i mean, he’s probably just busy.”

“just go. you’re stressing me out. i can’t get anything done with you filling the room with your nervous energy. go find your boyfriend.”

“luke’s not my boyfriend.”

“i never said who it was.”

“well, it was pretty obvious—“

“just go!” she threw a bandage at your head, effectively forcing you out the door.

you didn’t even know where he was.

camp was huge, so it took you around twenty minutes to find him, he sun glaring into your eyes and likely burning your cheeks. regardless, you were on a mission. finally, you spotted him in the arena. of course.

you watched for a while until he noticed you, standing in the shade with your eyes squinted in the sun and your arms crossed over your chest. he grinned and jogged over.

“hey, doc. what brings you here?” he asked, sheathing his sword.

your eyes followed the precise movement. “why haven’t you been to the infirmary?”

he shrugged. “i haven’t been injured.”

“didn’t stop you before.”

there was a silence.

then he smiled again. “did you miss me?”

your cheeks burned. “no!” you cleared your through awkwardly. “i just… i get… bored. and you… keep the monotony away.”

“you missed me.”

“i did not miss you.”

he leaned closer, rocking back and forth on his feet. “you missed me.”

you glared up at him, but couldn’t fight the tiny smile that forced itself on your lips. you shook your head, pressing your lips together tightly. “nope. didn’t miss you.”

“well,” he shrugged. “guess i don’t need to tell you that i did actually just hurt my hand while training, huh?”

you frowned. “are you aware that consuming as much nectar and ambrosia as you seem to want to will cause you to burn to a crisp?”

“i don’t need godly food if i have you as my doctor.” he smiled cheekily, clenching his fist then wincing. “seriously, though. it hurts.”

“aw, poor baby.” you pouted, leaning forward and placing your hand on his and trying to feel if there was any injury present.

before you could do anything, his fingers had interlocked with yours and he was stepping closer to you.

you looked up at him, heart pounding and cheeks burning. “what are you—“

“i don’t know what we can do for a date around here, but i’d love to take you on one, doc.” he said, his voice uncharacteristically soft.

you froze, heart fluttering. butterflies danced in your stomach. you found yourself nodding before you could stop yourself, smiling. “okay. yeah. take me on a date, soldier.”

“yeah?” he smiled, squeezing your hand. “great! i’ve been trying to work up the guts to ask you for weeks now. also, can i kiss you?”

“i’ve been trying to pretend i didn’t want you to ask me for weeks.” you said, stepping slightly closer to him. “also… yes.”

his free hand cupped your cheek and his lips pressed to yours, soft and sweet.

you wondered why you ever said you didn’t like him.

[dulcewrites]

Fool Me Once (part 3)

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x reader (wc: 3.1k)

Summary: With the birth of your child looming, you and Aemond finally lay your cards on the table. A growing problem reaches a boiling point.

Warnings: more lying/manipulation (y’all know the drill by now), Aemond once again gaslighting, mentions of s*icide

A/N: it’s been such a fun time writing this. It is definitely different from most things I’ve written, so it have been a nice change. I’ve gotten so much support from it and I hope to keep making stuff you guys like. Also slight disclaimer that the way I write Alys is not really way I read her in the book. Much like Aemond in this. They both kind of suck lmao. I wanted this to be the last part but then I thought of more things so… we shall see how this goes 👍🏽. I wanted this chapter to be a build up to events in ep 8-10 mainly 9 and 10 of the show.

Fmo masterlist

You can’t remember the last time Aemond and you have had dinner, just the two of you. So, when he insisted you that you two do, you had a feeling it was about the talk Queen Alicent said she wanted to have with him. A private dinner with your husband would have been a dream moons ago.

Alicent did not make you privy to what they discussed. It only made you more weary. You know she is hurt and upset. But you also know she is more hurt that the son she propped up so much turned out to be just as unreliable as the man she made him with.

That is the painful part about love; the only place to go is down.

Nevertheless, his suffering is what you want; it does not matter if the ire stems from a place on genuine care for you. The uncomfortable nature in which he moves the castle makes the pain you have suffered a little bearable. It sounds deranged, but if you are to be trapped, he should be as well. You want him to wake with the same lump in his throat you do.

The letters had stopped. A constantly stream of communication abruptly ended. Lord Strong gave you a funny smile when he told you.

Ser Quinton rarely leaves your side when Aemond is around. He gave you a reluctant glance when you tell him about the dinner. While Aegon, already deep in his cups midday, tells you to keep a grip on your fervor.

The corridor was empty except for the two of you.

“I know how him and mother are,” he point his fingers at you emphatically. “They probably already concocted something to keep you quiet or make you look like the problem. Keep you…. Idle.”

Despite the slurring of his words, and clear bitterness towards the relationship Alicent and Aemond have, he may not be wrong. Alicent had already taken it upon herself to write to your father, suggesting he visits soon. She is proactive to a fault; her behavior simultaneously holding the Seven Kingdom together and enabling her family’s indecencies.

Everything can be hidden under the right tactics and false goodwill. You want to say she got that trait from her father, but you know it comes from years of being a woman in the Red Keep. From being the Queen.

The dinner begins uneventful. You wrinkle your nose at the meat pie in front of you. A dish you normally like making your stomach churn. It is hard not to feel sick or uncomfortable these days. You’re huge; feet swollen and belly protruding to a remarkable degree. The sheer thought of how big the babe will be plagues your mind most days.

It is unbearable having to engage in meaningless small talk with Aemond. Like he is insulting your intelligence by tip toeing around everything.

“Are you going to tell me why you wanted this dinner,” you want nothing more to leave his chambers and go take a bath.

“I think we need to talk.”

You can’t help but scoff at him. Aemond looks even more haunting in the dark lighting of room. Like the brutal knights the septas used to make you read about. He has a nasty look in his eye, like he wants a fight. You wonder if his Alys gets this look or if it just reserved for you. One special thing for his wife.

Despite all the formal swordsman training, Aemond plays dirty in personal affairs. Much like a feral cat backed into a corner. You’ve seen it to many times with Aegon. The only thing he responds to is equally cruel jabs.

“Yes dear husband,” you sigh out of boredom, rolling your neck.

His next words take you by surprise.

“Daella told me she is not excited about her egg hatching,” he huffs out. You stop rolling your neck, and blink blankly at him. The two of your stare at each other before you bark out a laugh.

“That is what this is about? You are pouting because a child is no longer enraptured by an egg.”

“It is not only about the egg, and you know it,” a nasty tone to match the look he gives you. “You fill her head with assumptions. You debase something that is her birthright. Something that is the birthright of her father, and her ancestors.”

You roll your eyes. “Well, if I disparaged the great Targaryen legacy or dragons in front of her it must have been a… mistake.”

You swear you see Aemond’s eye twitch a little at the word.

“Have you ever thought maybe it is not the dragons themselves, but the person she most associates them with?”

Daella’s change in behavior was notable. She never wanted to go to the dragon pit with her father, the few times she does work up the nerve to go it is always with her aunt to see Dreamfyre. She is no longer enthused to learn High Valyrian despite how quickly she picks it up.

You did try to keep your child out things, but kids are perceptive. The way from a young age Alicent kids picked on her strife with their father, maybe she picked up on yours with Aemond.

Aemond’s anger radiates off him. Once the truth finally comes out, the words begin to spill from your lips.

“And do not pretend this is just about Daella. That is an insult to her, and a waste of my time,” you lean forward, and lower your voice. “This about you losing your favor around here, and this about her.”

There is an uncomfortable hush comes over the room. The only sound is the crackling coming from the fireplace.

“She was pregnant,” it comes out like whisper. The spite that was laced through his voice is gone. All is left is confusion.

Your vision blurred red. There’s a painful twinge in your stomach, and you wince.

“What do mean was.”

There was always the possibility this could happen. As naive as it sounds, it was not a thought till ironically Aegon of all people brought it up. If anyone would know about possibly fathering bastards it would be him. Then he promptly told you that the two of you could hop on Sunfyre and burn her to a crisp. The offer that you quickly refused in the moment has never sounded so tempting now.

“I-I do not know where she is,” Aemond admits curtly. “One day she is telling me she is with child, and the next she’s…gone.”

He looks so small; his eye has a faraway look in it. It’s utterly pathetic. You never considered that a greater pain to him would be not only to be seen differently by his family, but also have to reason why he did it leave.

“So what now Aemond? She left you, and you want to just erase everything you have done. Pretend you care or love me,” you say coldly.

“No. I do not lo-“

He stops mid sentence, and an empty smile appears on your face. Neither of you have said it out loud but it is the plain truth.

“Go ahead and say it,” there is a deep pressure in your stomach that won’t go away. The pain only makes you even more upset. “Love requires respect. It requires give and take. You surely do not respect me, and all you ever do is take.”

Another twinge hits the underside of your belly. You shift in your seat uncomfortably, eyeing the door.

“You are not completely innocent in this,” your eyes go wide at his remark. “Do not give me that look. I see the way Ser Quinton looks at you. And now Alys is…”

He trails off. It is the first time you have heard him say her name out loud. Another surge of jealously runs through you. She is gone, and you are once again stuck with the carcass. Expected to uphold your end of the bargain while he frets over a child and mother that never should have been around to begin with.

You refuse to sit and let him turn the tables around on you. It is a struggle, but you manage to get up from the table, but only to have him rise and block your way.

“For someone who has such clear distain for my house. You sure do not hide your fire well… just like a dragon.” His eye flutter down to the scar on your arm, then back to your eyes. You see the blame in his.

“If I was that rash, or temperamental, your head would have been on a spike. Along with your whore’s,” you narrow your eyes. “And I would have made Ser Quinton sully his white cloak, because he would for me. Hells, I would have had your brother while I was at it. It’s not like he has not tried before.”

You are not sure you even want Ser Quinton in that way, let alone Aegon. Ser Quinton devotion is not something you know if you are willing to take that level. And Aegon’s cock has been in half the maidservants in the castle and most of the whores in Flea Bottom. Him wanting you is not special, it’s just Aegon being Aegon. But the deep look of rage in Aemond’s eye makes the statement all the more worth it.

You skirt past him quickly towards the door. His heavy footsteps behind you. Ser Quinton leaning against the wall opposite of the door does not surprise you.

“Are you alright,” he rushes over, concerned when you pause to in the hall and lean over in pain. His hand coming to rub your back.

“Oh well is this not sweet,” Aemond’s bitter tone cuts through the empty hall. “I can handle it from here Ser Quinton.”

Blood rushes to your ears, and you can barely hear the hushed disagreement that begins between the two. Your painful groans becoming background fader to their pissing match.

A familiar snap happens in the lower part of your abdomen, and a pool of liquid flows out of you. Both cease arguing, and you and Aemond share a knowing look.

“The babe is coming.”

Alaric Targaryen came into the world fast, and with a haughty disposition. As if he could tell the family dynamic he was coming into. His cries were piercing and sharp, matching the tears of relief you cried when he finally came out.

You had insisted to only have your lady in waiting and some septas in room, especially after the clear tension between Aemond and Quinton. Helaena and Alicent come in and out of the room sporadically, giving you words of encouragement and knowing glances at the pain you were in. Alicent had been shocked to see her son and Ser Quinton trying to get you back to chambers.

Lord Larys followed casually behind her. He gave that funny smile of his again. The smile he gives Queen Alicent when he thinks no one is watching… or maybe he hopes someone is watching.

She’s gone

Even while giving birth to your son, that woman plagued your thoughts. Aemond could be right; you two have more in common than you like. Bewitched by the same woman.

It took everything in you to look up when Aemond finally came into the room. Acknowledging his presence met remembering how he is half of Alaric. How so much of you belongs to Aemond. You live in his home, dress in his colors, your children will be in the history books as Targaryen’s. He will have ownership over your boy after calling him a mistake. No matter how much you try, you will be remembered as his wife.

If that fact did not make you sick enough. Alicent’s next words did the trick.

“Oh, he looks like how Aemond did when he was a babe.”

You look down at him in your arms. While Daella was a combination of Aemond and you, her brother is every bit of his father. Small tuff of straight blonde hair, lips town turned in a scowl. You did not know a babe could look so refined especially after just being born. The only resembles to yourself you see in his in his big glassy eyes looking up at you.

There’s an energy that gets sucked out you when Alicent hands him to Aemond. She sees the weary look on your face.

Opposed to the elation you felt after having Daella. Dread creeps in; dread that comes from a place of sadness and protectiveness. All you have is your children. Even with the bonds and alliances you may have made, only they are extensions of you. Daella, your sweet girl, a reminder of what could of been. You have Alaric, the flesh and blood reflection of what you have been through.

“Have you two thought of a name,” Alicent asks. Before Aemond, who is still looking down can answer, you beat him to it.

“Alaric. Ser Quinton told the sweetest story about a knight he admired as a child. I thought it would be fitting.”

Alicent’s brows raise but she does nothing but nod. “Handsome name for a handsome boy.”

Aemomd does not say anything about the name. He just quietly hums a melody when Alaric starts to fuss. He turns his back to you as he bounces him in his arms.

All you have is your children

All you have is your children

When you think about a sword to the throat. You don’t know which situation would be more satisfying. One to his or one to yours.

“I am sure you were… relieved to hear about your problem being gone.”

You do not see Lord Larys again till weeks after Alaric is born. The day of a feast Alicent insisted you have to celebrate his birth. Your father and mother writing you that they can not wait to see their second grandchild.

While Daella was a fussy, energetic baby, all Aleric does is sleep and eat. He stares at you with curious eyes. Always taking in the scene around him. He lays sweetly crib next to your bed. After his birth, you were all but forced to move back into the one you shared with Aemond.

“Do you know what happened to her,” it’s been on your mind for since Aemond uttered those words.

Larys tilts his head to the side with a wry look. “You and I both know it is hard to place the whims of a difficult woman, especially a supposed magical one.”

You know he is not just talking about Alys.

She is out there, possibly with Targaryen blood in her and no one knows where is. It does not make any sense. Larys can read the skepticism all over your face.

“It is quite suspicious, witch or not. A bastard woman with no means or worth to her name, gone in an instant. And right after the truth comes out within the family. Right after the Queen and the Prince talk.”

He gives you no help, only more questions. Makes you more suspicious of those you have to call family. In this moment you hate the way he speaks in riddles. He never states things plainly till he is ready to. As if he expects you to do something before he can reveal anymore.

“But look on the bright side princess, your family will be back at court soon enough.”

Alaric begins to coo, as if he trying to tell you something.

“Well, thank you for your time, Lord Larys,” you give him a fake smile. “I should start getting ready.”

Your lady in waiting, Jayne, comes in once Larys finally leaves.

“I quite like this one princess,” she holds up a green and black dress. It is old dress of Alicent’s, one she gave you when you first married Aemond.

A flash of satiny purple in the back of you wardrobe catches your eye. A smile appears on your face. It may be a bit snug as you have two children since wearing it but it worth the try.

“I think I might want to try something a bit different Jayne.”

Your father used to tell you that the strongest flowers grow even when there is little sun. In conjunction, your mother told you that flowers are meant to be admired. Prettiest ones will often be picked and disregarded when a new bloom happens. Wilting was never an option for you in their mind.

You are their lower. Planted, watered, and urged to grow. Even in the deep darkness that is King’s Landing. The darkness they said was critical to helping your house.

The looks you get when you walk into the Godswood, head high in your deep violet dress only spurs you on when in other times it would make you want to hide. Daella and Alaric both in darling lavender outfits. You three stand out against the various muted greens, blues, and greys amongst you. Except for the few specs of purple that you see on the side wooded area.

“My dear girl,” your father’s hug makes you want to cry. Seeing your parents put into perspective how young you feel… how young you are.

Already married, mother of two, and all you want is your parents to hug you and tell you everything will be ok. When your father pulls you to the side and asks you about the letter Queen Alicent sent him, you are surprised to hear what she put in it.

“She said you are having a hard time,” he runs his hand over your arm. “That it is affecting your marriage.”

It should not surprise you she failed to mention her son’s cheating. But the onus being placed on you only proves what you already felt. They will protect their own, so you must protect yours.

Before you can muster up an answer, an anxious looking maidservant comes over with Jayne in tow.

“My Lady, I am sorry to interrupt. I went back to grab Alaric’s sweater. I saw something you may want to see; it was left it your chambers.”

Your eyes go to a box Jayne is carrying.

You must hold back a scream when you open the box and see Alaric’s favorite blanket, the one always in his crib, soaked in blood.

You frantically look over to the opposite side of the garden, your mother happily holding Alaric, Daella by her side. You look over to catch Aemond and Alicent giving you a questioning looks from across the Godswood.

As your vision blurs, you notice box had a tripartite of pale blue, red, and green on it.

“Jayne, please go fetch me Lord Larys and Ser Quinton.”

All you have is your children

Tag list: ok I’m sooo sorry to anyone who does not get a tag. I swear I am not ignoring you. I am only allowed to do 50 which is so annoying bc I want to tag everyone that was kind enough to support and ask. Also sometimes tumblr won’t let me tag certain people idk. If y’all know a better way please let me know, so I can try it ❤️❤️.

@simp-is-what-i-am @rey26 @noisyinfluencerstrawberry @crispmarshmallow @dc-marvel-girl96 @stargaryenx @b00kdiary @grey-water-colors @neenieweenie @iwanttohitmyself @helloitsshitzulover @lazypinkpig @shisuchiha @leoramage @viperixsworld @luvremlu @this-is-a-bad-idea @landlockedmermaid77 @inpraizeof @blacpiink @carriellie @s0urmarvel @blackravena @bregarc @hvx @let-love-bleeds-red @fangirls94 @v7nt7 @m1ndbrand @highexpectationsgurl @m1tzifa1ry @spaceslutty @elleclairez @kitkat-writes-stuff @paprikaquinn @widemiffyhappy @poisonedsultana @what-is-your-wish @lilliansstuff @rebelfleur22 @aloneatpeace @alastorhazbin @alexa4040 @cleverzonkwombatsludge @ensolleildelune @clora95 @yu3kkii @mischiefmanaged2 @its-sam-allgood @papery-maniac

[zweetpea]

Freedom or Anarchy? Part 1 of 2 (hopefully)

You guys wanted this you better read it cw: there’s some swears, and allusion to sleep drugs

The air was so crisp, the so grass vibrant, the sun was warm on your skin as you took in the scenery before you. The crystal blue of Starfell lake was gorgeous, and the fish were flipping about in the water; even the squirrels and Crains seemed at peace. Despite this lovely picture you were panicking.

“Heh, POV got sucked into your favorite video game and you don’t know if you’ll ever get home.” you shrug. “Guess I’ll die!” You walk over to a tree and pull on a branch. “I suppose that I should try to defend myself.”

As you say that three pyro slimes appear and chase you down the hill towards Venti’s Statue. “Hehehe, Why are you running? Why are you running?” You walk up to the statue and touch it, but nothing happens. “Wow! Honestly, I thought as a bard you would understand the mentality of “I F’ed my way into this mess, and I’ll F my way out”. Not gonna give me a vision, a shitty knock off of your power, a sword?” As you sat yelling at a lifeless statue (a/n: WTF WERE YOU THINKING? THAT IT WOULD TALK BACK?!) you heard something coming towards you. You looked to the sky and saw Dvalin flying straight toward you. “Oh shit…” You say as storm terror land next to you and rawrs in your face. “Haha, I’m in danger.” He brings his face towards you and you begin to shake  in fear. “Mr. Stark I don’t feel so good.” You whisper to yourself as tears of fear and regret stream down your face. 

Dvalin inches closer and you close your eyes only to feel something cold and wet on your face. You open your eyes only to close them again as Dvalin licks you. “Ew! Slobber!” He whimpered. You hold your hand out to pet the poor baby. “Oh it’s okay. Just let me clean up first.” You wipe off your face and go back to Dvalin. You go to pet him and a beautiful light shines from your fingers and flows through his fur. 

“Dvalin!” Someone called to him and he picked you with his tail and curled it around you so you’d be hidden and sage as he took to the sky. 

“Wait! Wasn’t that Venti? Don’t you like him?” He took to the sky and bounced you around unintentionally. 

After about 20 minutes you were finally released and found yourself in stormterrors lair. “What have you brought back?” A distorted voice echoed as a cryo abyss mage entered. 

“She is the special. She can heal me.” Dvalin responded. (A/n: do you guys remember that? Dvalin spoke) 

“You fool! Only the abyss Order can save you!” 

As the two fight you try to sneak away but you step on a twig and they look at you. Dvalin quickly pulls you by your hoodie back to his side. “I agreed to help you because the Archons abandoned me as they’ve abandoned you. I still will but it doesn’t seem like you all have found a way to cure me. I need to be at full strength to fight for you.” 

“Dvalin? I thought you liked Venti.” 

“Venti, is that what the barn calls himself now? I used to, I know that he cares for me but he didn’t ever try to help me. I have suffered for 500 years and he now shows his face. Khaenri’ah was destroyed simply because they chose to forsake the Archons. Why should we care for them?” 

You looked down, not knowing what to say. “How am I supposed to help?” You finally said.

“You can heal me.” 

“But if I do, you’ll hurt the innocent people of Mondstadt. Listen, the Tsarista is plotting a rebellion against Celestia. Celestia’s the real villain here.”

“Even so the Archons still chose to destroy Khaenri’ah.” 

“Then take it up with them, please. Those people have nothing to do with it. I’ll help you in anyway I can but please for their sake don’t hurt them. If not for them then for me.” 

“If it’s what the adored one desires then I shall deliver it unto you.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You asked suspiciously. 

“Funny. Now heal him if you REALLY can!” The abyss mage, snarked from the corner. You climbed on top of Dvalin and put your hands on his horn. White light erupted and Dvalin’s head fell to the ground as he’d passed out. You fell off and the abyss mage ran out of the room screaming about how the day of reckoning was upon them or something. You fell asleep nuzzled into Dvalin’s side and dreamt of lots of yummy food. 

When you woke up you found a pyro abyss mage, and hydro abyss mage cooking some kind of fowl meat. Over a makeshift campfire. The pyro abyss mage brings it over to your and the hydro abyss mage hands you the food and some water. “Is this clean?” You ask the two and they nod.  You take the food and water and start to eat. “Thanks.” You say after you’re finished. 

“Dvalin. Do you want to head out somewhere?” 

“Where would you like to go, Adored one?” 

“Would you hate me if I said Dragonspine?” 

“If that’s what you wish.” He picks you up and flies you over there. 

You direct him to a cave in the side of the mountain. 

“Honey! I’m home!” You say as you saunter into the cave. “Albedo? I guess he’s not here.” You say as you turn to leave. 

“Incredible. Stormterror sitting right outside of my Laboratory.” He only roars at the blonde. 

“Sir Albedo?” You inquire as you step out of his lab. You pet Dvalin to put him at ease.

“Hello, may I help you?”

“Sorry I don’t mean to snoop in your lab, I was just wondering if you were here. I have a bit of a conundrum.” 

“You wish to go home.” 

“How did you-” 

“How did I know?” He cuts you off. “I’ll explain in due time. Please step into my laboratory, I’ll get you some tea. Word of advice though, it can get kinda cold out here so you might want to send Stormterror away before he gets cold.” 

Dvalin growled. “I’ll be fine. You can come get me later tonight okay?” He nodded and flew off. It was about noon so you figured that you had a while before the twins would steal the harp and try to take down Dvalin. 

“How did you manage to tame him?” Albedo asked, as you sat on a stool near a campfire. 

“I healed him somehow.” 

“So Gold’s stories were true.” 

“Rhinedottir knows about this?” 

“Yes, she’s the one who told me. Someone would come down from Celestia and they’d tame the beasts of Teyvat as well as the members of the Abyss Order.” He hands you the Tea and you drink it. 

“I still don’t understand how you knew I’m not from here.” 

“I just told you Gold told me you’re from Celestia. Unless of course, you aren’t.” 

“Dvalin referred to me as the Adored One. Do you know what that means?” 

“Adored throughout Teyvat and the realm above. You are the honored one no?” 

“I don’t… what…?” You started to get lightheaded. “Albedo?” You sloshed as you fell off your seat. 

“I’m sorry Adored One, but I have to put Klee first. Now that you’ve heeled Stormterror you’re a threat to the people of Mondstadt. I’m going to hand you over to the knights for terrorism and endangering the public.” 

[room-surprise]

Dungeon Meshi Season 1, Episode 3 Review

I think it was fantastic, and like the other episodes my complaints are all so minor, they're basically nitpicks. Spoilers below!

The Japanese subtitles are still kinda bad, when you watch the English dub afterwards it somehow manages to better convey the same information without leaving anything out. Japanese performances are fantastic but yeah the subtitles really suck a lot of the life out of them. There's some gems in the dub performance, like Chilchuck saying "Sword, please" to Laios instead of "can I borrow your sword" or something more elaborate.

Everything that was good about the original manga chapters is in this episode, and this was one of the early chapters that hooked me and my spouse into Dungeon Meshi - seeing how Laios figured out the living armor and how he defeated it was something really cool and thoughtful that stood out from other media to us. It was clever and novel and went into monsters and speculative biology in a way that we both adored. This episode is also the one that really foreshadows the rest of the series and it's themes. If something is alive, it desires something, and if you can figure out what it desires you can find a way to defeat it. If something is alive, you can kill it, and if you can kill it you can eat it.

All of the fight scenes in this episode are incredible, and there's tons of fun camera shots and interesting choices being made. Love the bit where Marcille catches a helmet in the loop of her staff. Also loved the bit where she caught Laios' head in the loop of her staff and shook him around angrily. They found ways to include information from the extra monster tidbits into the main narrative, which is fantastic! I'm hoping they'll be able to do this for the rest of the anime as well, because there's a LOT of vital information and funny jokes in the tidbits that enhance the story.

So nice to finally have our first Senshi panty shot and know that they'll at least give us some of those.

Though the animation is spectacular, there is a noticeable style shift between the first two episodes and 3. They obviously have some very talented animators working on this episode (the suits of armor are all rock solid, detailed, and move in fantastic ways) but they are NOT really good at drawing the human characters on-model and it shows. It's not awful but it is noticeable. I'm glad they at least were able to keep it consistent, the characters look that way through the whole episode and don't switch back and forth between individual scenes. That would have been a lot more distracting. Pet peeve, I hated the gag with the egg sack flying through cosmic space to show Laios had figured out the secret of the armor. I didn't think it was that funny, and I felt it interrupted the flow of the already very exciting and tense fight scene. Just the memory sequence being drawn in such a crazy loose style was enough for me! And the style of it flying through the cosmos and everything just felt very out of place and modern. Oh, and Laios says "oh my god" at one point in the dub, which also annoys me, but I think is better than "jeez" since a pagan could theoretically say "oh my god."

But overall a fantastic episode and it gives me a lot of hope for the rest of the series. I was worried that they were going to compress the story too much and try to fit 4 chapters into this episode, because of how they put 3 chapters into episode 2, but they gave this 2-chapter story room to breathe, which it very much needed. Can't wait for next week! I think we'll get the golem story as well as the orcs.

[yowyowyaoi]

Konan’s Daily Texts from the Akatsuki

From Zetsu

If I keep the bodies OUTSIDE is it a problem then??

Rather angelic-looking with the paper wings.

A 72-hour gengetsu just because he thought I was going to eat it?! Cat isn’t even my favorite meat!

Ah but you’re much more diplomatic in handling their complaints.

I’ve tried but you absolutely cannot reason with him when it comes to money.

It may be time to change hideouts soon, the two young ones have attracted too much negative attention here.

From Itachi

It was so good, thank you!

I appreciate the touch of color.

Kisame’s not here Kakuzu said he’d charge me and Deidara laughed. You are my last hope. PLEASE come and KILL THIS SPIDER 😓

Please come with I know you’d enjoy yourself.

The last time I rode on one he made it do a flip mid-air and I almost fell into the ocean. And he laughed so hard he threw up 😒

Define “too much” cake 🤔

He helped suppress the coughing but fever’s still pretty high.

I can take them in small doses. 

From Sasori

Don’t worry, an issue like that is almost child’s play to correct surgically.

You’re one of the few that I DO trust, my dear.

I’ll give it back when I decide he’s not as annoying anymore.

If I could eat I’m sure that would be delicious.

I love him more than anything but that arrogant brat can never actually KNOW how much I do.

Put a few drops in your tea, you’ll sleep like a baby.

You and Nagato should really raise the standards for whom you decide to recruit into this organization.

Please accompany me; I’m sure you’d love the wildflowers.

You either move his room down the hall or he’s becoming my next puppet.

From Kakuzu

I understand but we can’t afford it at the moment. Those three will just have to bunk together for the time being.

Thank you, my dear.

Harsh BUT it saved us hundreds.

Never anyone who didn’t fully deserve it.

Trust me, in the long run it’s a good investment.

Sasori may be better suited to treat that than myself.

I’ll speak to him about it but it’s like talking to a wall.

Purely an accident. A needed one, but still.

If they do it again I’m decapitating them both.

From Deidara

I mean I never have, but if I did, she couldn’t be anyone but YOU 💛

Omg Omg OMG I HAVE DIRT ON HIDAN YOU NEED TO HEAR!!

We were sword fighting! Shit I didn’t know that was Leader’s cane 😣

We can both make birds. Paper and clay. 

Idk I mean I kinda think that he likes me or something but I’m with Sasori so 🤷🏼‍♂️

My eyes feel fucked. I tried on Uchiha’s glasses, that bastard is BLIND af! I didn’t even think they could make lenses that strong!

Come with us fishing I swear you’ll have fun! I’ll bait your hook so you don’t gotta touch the worms 😁

I’m not sure but I bet a C3 would solve the problem.

He stuffed half a roll of toilet paper in there and flushed. He thought it’d be funny.

From Kisame

There’s no way you’re going alone. I’ll come with you.

My thanks. Samehada appreciates such treats.

Woman or not you’re quite strong aren’t you?

No need to cook mine at all. I prefer raw.

I could teach you if you wish. It’s a good skill to have.

Please join us for tea?

It’s outside your door. Thank you again.

Zetsu got to him first 😤

Itachi isn’t feeling up to it. Would you care to accompany me? The moon makes it very bright.

From Tobi

He bit me first!

Kisame ate them because he said he wanted a snack 😔

He DOES love me he just doesn’t know it yet!

Wanna see the spider I found in the garden?

I borrowed your lotion and i accidentally used it all 😓

Game night game night GAME NIGHT!!!

Blue. Like Senpai’s eyes 😌

Can I lick the spoon when it’s done?

No I saw Kakuzu kill him three days ago 

From Hidan

Yeah but my intentions were good for once!

Pls come show me how to do this I keep burning it 😓

Oh yeah I forgot … haha don’t freak out I’ll replace it 

You wanna come with? I bet you’d be great at it!

Tell him he can suck my dick, I ain’t doing that 🤷‍♂️

We’re gonna loot it, I’ll bring you back something cool!

Ngl you’d look HOT with my scythe 😍

I’ll beat that skinny twink’s ass 😤

Yeah but like he’s skin and bones that’s just kinda creepy 

I guarantee if you just listen to ONE sermon you’ll convert!

From Nagato

The prettiest thing you could ever wear is that gorgeous smile of yours ❤️

Well it’s far too late to replace them so I suppose we just have to deal.

Are you joking? Yahiko would have killed me!

Should have been a dating service and not a criminal organization, eh? 😂

Sasori said it would help ease the pain for when I’m standing.

Woke up today thinking of Chibi. I miss him 😞

No but if you come sit on my lap I bet I could make it better 😉

What about the others? Do they seem happy with it?

If I never see another drop of rain for as long as I live I’ll die a happy man.

My God how do you manage them?! I had to talk to Deidara and Hidan by myself and I thought I would kill them after the first two minutes!

I don’t care. You’re beautiful no matter what. 

Well we could always say we’ve disbanded the group, turn them loose, then hunt them for sport 😊

[fizzingwizard]

TOTALLY random thought

(not that random, i'm reading lotr fic atm...)

The LotR movies are almost perfect to me. So perfect that I hate having any quibbles and think I should suck it up and just say they're perfect.

One of those quibbles, though, is about a certain moment in the final battle in RotK, after Aragorn gives his speech and the fighting starts. We see that Aragorn is in a pinch, and Legolas notices. There are several shots of him trying to get to Aragorn with a panicked look on his face interspersed between shots of Aragorn struggling alone, until the destruction of the Ring brings the battle to a close.

It's been a while since I read the books, but I am pretty sure there's no mention of Legolas (or anyone for that matter) doing anything but non-specific orc fighting. So this was a movie choice, I suppose to give Legolas something to do? Some way to echo the choice the movies made to play up his and Aragorn's friendship as much as his and Gimli's - kind of even more.

But if so, why didn't they let him at least reach Aragorn's side and fight back to back with him? Even for a single second. I remember the very first time I watched it, I actually didn't catch that Aragorn was particularly under threat, because after all it was a battle... there were threats everywhere. All I saw was Legolas looking like he reeeeeally needed to use the little elf's room all of a sudden, lol.

If he could at least have made it to Aragorn and raised his sword with him, I would have thought, "Cool, protecting his friend." Even better - Gimli joining them, so I could think, "Cool, the Three Hunters' last stand." It would have been a nice little way to tie that up. In the books, Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli have a really wonderful friendship that I adore. It's not as obvious as Frodo and Sam or Merry and Pippin - or even Legolas and Gimli on their own - but Aragorn very clearly relies on Legolas and Gimli, especially when he's trying to sort things out in Gondor. Their loyalty to each other grows beyond simply sharing a cause. Aragorn gives them Aglarond and Ithilien, and Legolas even vows not to sail West until after Aragorn dies.

So yeah I just always thought that moment in the movie was funny. The movies tried really hard to make Legolas and Gimli relevant when they really had no idea. There was already so much to do, and these two are the least important of the Fellowship story-wise. But they still had to be cast, and once cast they needed something to do. Gimli got glib one-liners. Legolas got to act the wise elf friend around Aragorn (another choice which baffles me because book Legolas is not particularly wise, he's very much a sheltered, carefree *cough* highly skilled warrior, who tends to joy and falls to pieces if he can't go look at the pretty leaves).

I would rather the movie had no shot of panicked "I gotta pee!" Legolas trying to rescue Aragorn and just did the fight until Frodo destroyed the ring. It really wasn't necessary. Didn't do anything for Legolas's character or for Aragorn's. Didn't add to the tension because that was already sky high. Lol. Just something that always bugged me.

[sanjoongie]

Coeur Noir~

⚔️For my Year of the Villains Collab 

⚔️Pairing: Choi Jongho x Reader 

⚔️Genre: Hero/villain au, Medieval Au

⚔️Word Count: 5,364

⚔️Warnings: just two consensual adults having sex, lovemaking, praise kink kinda sorta, penetrative sex, yeaaaaaah

⚔️Rated: 18+ mdni, mentions of death(like seriously, a lot of character deaths), blood, physical fighting

⚔️Summary:  You are a hedge knight about to turn the world upside down. You have a plan to join the Kingsguard and in order to do that, you must defeat Jongho, the captain. Playing a game of revenge is a dangerous game, and one you might not win in, considering the way Jongho looks at you...

⚔️Dedication: @mejuii @downtoamagicalland​ my beta readers whom will make my ego so impossibly huge that I will never be able to be humble ever again >< sorry for the tears. and also to Jongho, since this is my first fic of his, i wanted it to be amazing!

"Jongho."

It was the way you said his name, sometimes, that made him want to lay down his sword forever and let you take care of him. It wasn't that his life wasn't fulfilling. It was that it was lonely. And you ate away at his loneliness like you were a bookworm in an ancient library. You were the demon that sucked all of his negative energy and left him with only good. He woke up one day and found that you had poisoned his heart with love and he didn't want anything else.

"Jongho?" You quirked your head at him, "Am I here on my own or are we going to fight?"

Jongho focused his eyes and broke into a gentle smile. "Oh, we're going to fight. You're going to lose again, but we'll still fight."

You laughed under your breath. "No, I think today will be the day I win."

Jongho didn't look so convinced. "What makes today special?"

You smiled, like you knew something he didn't. "That it is today."

Jongho rolled his neck, moving his shoulders in his practice gear. "Okay then. Show me why today is special."

You raised your shield, placing your short sword on the top. "No crying when you lose."

Jongho laughed, a short barking noise that made the corners of your lips lift up. "It's funny you think I cry."

You shrugged. "Oh, I'm sure you cry. In the right circumstances, of course."

Jongho unsheathed his sword, a large bastard sword that he pulled from his back. His muscles bulged as he held it aloft but it did not appear to be a struggle for him. "Disarm me. Disarm me and I'll introduce you to the King. That's what this has been about the entire time, right?"

The two of you began to circle each other. One foot carefully put in front of the other, knees bent and grace winding you in an endless circle. Your eyes were on Jongho's head. Where his head went, as did his body. You would wait for him to strike because he always did. Jongho wasn't much on defence. He didn't need to be.

He lunged and you dodged. The first attack was always a heavy over-hander. You learned very quickly that raising your shield, even though all your instincts screamed at you to block, was not going to help you win. Half the time Jongho hit your shield so hard it left your entire right arm numb. The other half of the times you wound up on your knees and you were never able to regain the higher ground.

"Very good, Hedge Knight. You're much better than when you first got here."

You were a wandering knight. You had no master. You were simply hired on to solve simple lords problems for coin. You went where the money pulled you. Or that's what Jongho believed. What you had led him to believe. You wanted him to believe you were a nobody. It was better if the Captain of the Kingsguard believed that. 

"Is that some jealousy I heard in your voice?" You said, the circling beginning again.

"Jealousy?" Jongho sounded genuinely confused. If you could focus on Jongho's face, you would see the way his lower lip made a sweet 'u' in puzzlement. 

"You've known since the beginning what I'm here for Jongho. I made it very clear to you." Your voice was steady and level. You were attempting to be reasonable with a bear. At least the bear wasn't angry yet.

"Yes, I know." 

Jongho never shouted before he attacked. Jongho never let you know what he was about to do. Many knights, soldiers, fighters, yelled as if they needed to verbalize the courage it took to attack. But not Jongho. He was big but he was silent. He was damn good too.

His blade came out of nowhere and you had no choice but to parry. His dark blade glided along your gilded one with a satisfying shing. Jongho was grinning now. "That was showy."

You smiled. "I figure, you should be entertained while you fight. Must be boring, fighting me every day for months now."

Jongho was confused again. "No. Are you bored?"

Your smile grew on your face. "No, Jongho. I'm not bored fighting the Captain of the Kingsguard."

Jongho grinned. "Are you flattering me?"

"You? The Bear of the Castle? The man who single-handedly helped the king regain his throne once he became of age. One of the seven who championed our good King into achieving his realm of peace and happiness? The--"

Jongho took advantage of your long winded speech, an uppercut swing almost taking the tip of your nose off if you had not taken a quick step backwards.

"Those are stories people tell each other during the night to entertain themselves." Jongho's dark eyes were serious now. "Don't believe everything you've heard."

You sighed. "I heard that you were the biggest cock that any wench had seen in every damn inn and town you visited. Should I not believe that?"

Jongho began to choke on his own saliva, completely taken off guard by that comment. You slammed into him with your shield, solidly knocking his sword out of his hands. You brought the tip of your sword to tap under Jongho's chin. "I win."

Jongho's eyes became stormy with an emotion that you had never seen in them before. You couldn't read him at this moment. 

"You're not jealous. You're hurt." 

Jongho broke your gaze and bent down to pick up his sword. He brandished it and then sheathed it. "Why would I be hurt?"

"I'm not so sure myself," You said slowly, as if you needed to chew on your words to understand them yourself. "You know I need a meeting with the King. You told me, not everyone is able to demand such a thing. You told me if I beat you, disarmed you, that you would introduce me to the king. You said--"

"I know what I said!" Jongho shouted.

You frowned at him. "Are we not friends? Have we not become comrade in arms while I've been here? Have I not put my all into these attempts? Have I not earned this in your eyes? Am I not worthy enough to meet him? What is wrong with me?"

"No," Jongho said this quietly. "Nothing is wrong with you."

"Then what is going on, Jongho?" You demanded. You took a step forward, sheathing your sword and placing your shield on your back. "Tell me."

Jongho took a step back. "There's a chance to have an audience with him tonight. I'll arrange it."

You let out a noise of frustration. "Jongho."

"I am simply a tool of his majesty. If he deems you another good tool to have in his arsenal, then he will invite you to be a part of the Kingsguard. You will no longer have to wander to earn coin. You could… remain here." Jongho paused to swallow. "You could put roots down."

You stripped your gloves off your hands and tucked them into the belt that held your sword sheath. You gripped the front of Jongho's boiled leather chest plate. "Talk to me Jongho."

"It would be good. For you to be a part of the Kingsguard."

"It would be."

Jongho blew out air from his mouth, moving the fringes of his hair. "It would be good to still be able to practice together. Every day. Like we have been. Still." His jilted sentences made no sense.

"Your help has been indispensable to my talents. Jongho, please, you must know how much I admire you."

Jongho's eyes flicked your way and then moved away again. "Admire?"

You licked your lips. "You didn't deny my previous statement."

"You made a lot of statements."

"Are you going to make me say it out loud again?" You asked.

"It's true," Jongho muttered under his breath, "They all say that."

"Well, then that's something else of yours I can admire."

That brought Jongho's back to yours again. The pure surprise was written all over his face. You started to laugh, you couldn't help it. "What? Is that frowned upon if I join the Kingsguard?"

Jongho began to stutter. "Well that's--I mean no, not necessarily--but!"

"Jongho."

Your voice steadied him. He settled, standing a little bit straighter. He held his breath as your hand cupped the curve of his cheek. 

"Tell me."

"I thought… I thought you wanted to get to the King. I thought you wanted to get close to him. I thought I was the means to the end. I thought--"

Your voice became chilly. "Did you think I was looking to become Queen?"

"He won't, you know. He had one love. She died before he became King. He'll never love again. If he can't have her as his queen, he'll have no one."

"I know." You cleared your throat, banishing what was stuck there. "I know the story."

"Then?" Jongho's voice was clogged with something heavy.

You pasted a smile on your face. "Like you said. I want to put down roots. I'm tired, Jongho. My soul is tired. I want consistency. I want the best consistency. I want to be a part of the Kingsguard. I don't want to be Queen."

Jongho's hands shook as his hand encompassed yours. He pulled it away from his cheek but he didn't let it go. "Who do you want then?"

"If the question is who, then, I think I should be drunk and you should be congratulating me on becoming a part of the Kingsguard."

🗡🗡🗡

The dinner was arranged in the great hall. Everyone was present. Jongho laid forward his case. Surely a knight who could disarm him could become one of the Kingsguard.

"But she's not one of us," Wooyoung was quick to say.

Seonghwa frowned. "I thought you loved men AND women."

Wooyoung shook his head. "In bed, Seonghwa. That doesn't mean that applies to--THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!"

Seonghwa flinched as Wooyoung slammed his tankard against the table. "Well, what do you mean?"

"She wasn't here. She didn't fight the old Kingsguard. She didn't watch--"

"Wooyoung."

Mingi, at the head of the long table, stopped Wooyoung before he could bring up the one great tragedy in the King's life. His fingers were steepled, his eyes in deep thought. 

"What do you think, Seonghwa?"

Seonghwa grinned toothily, "Can the King really have too many guards?"

It was simple but effective. 

"Your Majesty--"

Mingi raised a hand to halt Jongho. "I already made my decision."

Wooyoung sat down heavily, a smug look painted on his face. "That's what I'm saying. Mingi understands."

"On your feet, Hedge Knight."

You stood. You bowed at the waist, arm tucked against your stomach. "Your majesty."

"You are not dismissed."

Wooyoung's mouth made an 'o' in surprise. "Sorry--what?!"

"When was the last time someone disarmed Jongho?" Mingi asked.

Seonghwa's eyes moved back and forth in thought, as if he was searching his memories. "San?"

Everyone suddenly sported a ghost of a smile. Everyone except for you but you were used to being left out when it came to stories of the days of old. 

"It was the fight for who would become Captain," Wooyoung recalled. "San disarmed him. He had that stupid grin he got when he won anything. And he said something horribly disgraceful like 'A bear can't defeat a mountain'."

Mingi's dark eyes studied you. It took everything in you to not tremble. Everything depended on this moment. "San was a good knight. So is Jongho."

Seonghwa's head swung between his companions and then his gaze landed on you. "So is she, apparently."

Mingi stood up suddenly, clapping his hands together. "Then it's decided."

"Fine!" Wooyoung agreed, quite grumpy. "Fine, she can join. But I don't have to like it."

"But I thought--" Seonghwa looked confused again.

"In bed, Seonghwa!" Wooyoung threw up his hands in the air. "Can we vote on kicking Seonghwa out as well?"

Jongho slapped Wooyoung behind the head for his remark. 

"You may kneel, Hedge--" Mingi cut himself off, smiling endearingly, "I suppose you are no longer a Hedge Knight."

The king knighted you, amongst the bickering knights, Jongho and the crackling of the large fire. You became a knight of the kingsguard amongst the shadows and the camaraderie. You were a part but not. It was an interesting conundrum. 

"What shall you pick as your symbol as a knight of the kingsguard?" Mingi asked curiously.

You smiled, "Why, a robin."

You watched as Mingi absorbed your words. Watched them sink into his consciousness and ring the bell of awareness. "A robin? I knew someone once who loved robins."

"I saw a robin take flight this morning, Your Majesty. It is a symbol of new beginnings. It seems fitting."

Mingi's eyes were unfocused. He was no longer present but living a memory that haunted him. You grew satisfied that she wasn't forgotten, at least. Mingi shook his head and returned back to the present. "Yes. And luck. And spring."

"Stupid," Wooyoung spit onto the floor. "Who's going to be afraid of a Robin?"

Mingi's eyes grew stormy. Wooyoung avoided his gaze immediately. 

"What did Yeosang used to say about Wooyoung's fox symbol?" Seonghwa wondered.

"He used to say," Jongho's mouth twisted into a smirk, "That at least you wouldn't be surprised when his dagger was in your back. Typical tricksy fox antics."

Wooyoung crossed his arms and sunk into his chair, clearly unsatisfied. "I never stabbed anyone in the back. Ever."

Jongho chuckled, slapping Wooyoung shoulder companionably. "Exactly. Everyone always overestimated you. Now they'll underestimate her."

"Oh, that's smart," Seonghwa said out loud, eating again.

"Can we drink now?" Jongho's eyes were merry, dancing in happiness, "I believe some congratulations are in order."

🗡🗡🗡

"I can't…" Jongho faltered on his words but it was simply because he needed to weigh them with his worries. "I cannot have you for just this one night."

You paused disrobing him, hands on the hem of his shirt. You looked around in thought. "There could be other nights, depending on whether you prove the wench's true."

"Don't jest, please, in this one moment, I beg of you." Jongho took both your hands into his own hands. 

"Why do you think I'm joking?"

"This is a matter of the heart, for me." He brought your hands to his lips and kissed them. "There can only be no night of this or every night of this."

"Do you question my dedication, Captain?" You raised an eyebrow.

Jongho shook his head. "I don't want to be your captain. Not here."

"Jongho." 

Jongho's eyebrows furrowed. He sported that same expression from before; like he was hurting. "I would do anything for you." He moved to his knees, to be supplicant before you. He brought your hands to his lips again. "You own my heart." 

You bent over at the waist. Your own flowing shirt had come loose awhile ago. Your corset held it in place but the ties at your chest had come undone. Jongho's eyes greedily ate up your revealed skin. You knew you were the one in power, at this moment. 

"Should I take it then?"

Jongho's eyes, sincere and serious, found yours. "If I could rip it from my chest and give it to you myself, I would."

"Good thing that isn't necessary to prove your words. Otherwise that would look quite bad on my part, hmmm? The captain dying in my bed chambers? My newly given bed chambers?" You giggled. "Are we christening my bedchambers, Captain?"

Jongho yanked on your hands, bringing you tumbling into his body. "I seem to remember asking you to be serious." He wasn't truly angry. He was using his strength to his advantage. No, you had let him use his strength to his advantage.

You pouted. "You're no fun, Jongho, truly."

Jongho captured your chin firmly between his fingers. "I will be kissing that pout off your face now, my love."

"Okay," You whispered.

You let Jongho take what he needed. With every brush of his fingers, every lick, he was telling you how he loved you. The hollow of your throat was marked with love bites. Your breasts were squeezed with enthusiasm that only a starved man was capable of. His hands enjoyed manhandling your waist, feeling it in between and to claim as his. Lips trailed along your thighs, small growls erupting from his throat when you attempted to close them on his head when he wasn't done with you yet. Jongho didn't want to fornicate with you, he wanted to make love to your body. 

This was a moment you had anticipated. It was a part of the plan. What you had not calculated for was the reverence this man had for you. There was not one inch of skin that he didn't want to pray to. When Jongho said he loved you, he meant every single piece that made you you. He even kissed the softness of your eyelids, murmuring to the veins there. You had not calculated how Jongho's love would affect you.

"Jongho, Jongho," You chanted his name.

He blinked slowly, as if he was coming up from a daydream. "Tell me what is lacking. I can do it."

You couldn't help but snicker at him. He thought that you were trying to tell him how to correct a wrong but you were attempting to pull the love from this lovemaking. "Nothing. You lack nothing but it seems you are neglecting yourself."

Jongho shook his head. "I only need you."

You put a hand on his chest, fingers curling along his collarbones. "You have me. But you have not allowed me to return the favor."

"No." His voice was hoarse as your hands skimmed up his thighs as he lay beside you on the bed.

"No?" You found him hard at the junction of his thighs and he breathed in sharply when you took him in your hand. "How could you deny me this?" You slowly stroked him and Jongho groaned, tossing his head back in ecstasy. "So velvety soft but so hard." You squeezed him gently and Jongho cried out.

"Don't--" He hissed as you stroked him again. "I do not want to coat your hand with my seed."

"What about my mouth then?" You asked cheekily.

"No," Jongho grunted. 

He pushed you to your back, placing his body between your thighs. "I would feel your wet softness, feel you around me." His adam's apple bobbed. "Let me have you. Truly."

You raised yourself so that you could capture his lips with yours. He let you delve into his mouth, taste the wine he had imbibed on. Jongho took everything you gave of him. "I already told you, Jongho. You have me."

Your legs were spread widely to receiving Jongho. He sunk into you, eyes squeezed shut in an attempt to not burst before he could reside inside of you. "Beloved," Jongho whispered.

You caressed his face. "I'm here, Jongho. I'm here."

Jongho opened his eyes at the first thrust. His upper lip twitched as a snarl left his mouth. "You are mine."

You lifted your hips for the second thrust and Jongho snarled again. "Yours. All yours, love."

His arms caged you but it was not a trap. You felt safe in his embrace. His hips moved with accuracy only a skilled lover was knowledgeable in. One hand pushed down your thigh, spreading you even wider for him. "You take me so well," Jongho marvelled.

"Those other girls didn't know what they were getting into, Jongho," You chuckled and then gasped as Jongho made you see stars behind your eyelids. "God."

"Tell me," Jongho whispered.

"So--so good," You whimpered. "You fill me so well. I feel so full. You--" You gasped again as another sharp thrust pushed you towards your goal. "You are stroking me in just the right place. I've never--hnnnnn--never had a lover--Jongho, god. How--how am I supposed to--speak of--?" Your mind became a jumble of unfinished sentences. That part was not faked. He was truly making you speechless with each thrust. 

Jongho gathered you so that you sat up with him. You were practically cross-eyed staring back at him. Every gasp of yours painted his mouth moist with your breath. Your chests were pressed up against each other, hard to your soft. There was barely a gap between the two of you and that was exactly what Jongho wanted.

"My world is yours. My breath is yours. I cannot live if your heart does not beat. I once thought Mingi a fool for leaving his kingdom heirless but now I know why. His truth. I could never lose you. I would rather lose myself before I let that happen. I would see you climax all night before I saw even one."

"Jongho, no," You disagreed.

Jongho smiled. It showed the pink of his gums but the quaint way his eyes squeezed close in glee punched the air out of your lungs. He was genuinely happy in this one moment. "Do not worry about me."

You slapped his chest lightly. "And who was the one who insisted we remain serious?"

Jongho consumed your lips in a rush of love that thrummed through him. Your bodies met again and again and then Jongho was consuming your sighs of satisfaction. You came around him, walls fluttering around him, taking him for all he was worth. Jongho wasn't far behind you, holding your hips hard against his so that he could bury himself deep inside of you. You remained like that for a while. Jongho was busy running his hand up and down the indent of your spine and you were keen on playing with his hair at the nape of his neck. The intimacy of remaining wound together like this was not lost on either of you.

"Will you let me love you for all my days?" Jongho asked softly.

"Your love will be alive in my heart even after," You promised.

🗡🗡🗡

It was the following evening when you sprung your plan into motion. You offered to take Jongho's late night shift. You smiled sweetly at him and told him of how you wanted to creep into your bed late at night and find him sleeping there. So Jongho let you change shifts with guarding the king and then there was nothing in the way of exacting your revenge.

Mingi had not died quietly, which you had not cared about but it did bring Wooyoung and Seonghwa straight to the King's bedchambers just as you finished wiping your dagger clean.

Seonghwa fell upon Mingi's body with an earth-shattering sob that would have made even the angels cry along with him. Wooyoung grabbed you and called for the lesser guards for manacles. They had you in the hallway outside the King's bedchambers in minutes. 

Wooyoung beat you while he sobbed with his teeth biting down on his lower lip. "How could you?"

One of the lesser guards had gone to wake up the captain and when Jongho saw you on your knees with your hands behind your back and Wooyoung swinging his hands at your head, he broke into a full fledged run.

"Wooyoung!"

Wooyoung's arm went out to bar Jongho's way. Jongho was so consumed with getting to you that he clearly didn't think that he could simply break through it. "She is not one of us," Wooyoung said for the umpteenth time.

"What do you mean, she's not one of us?" Jongho demanded.

"Mingi is dead, Jongho."

Jongho shook his head. "He's not."

"Tell that to Seonghwa. He can't let go of the corpse."

That seemed to slap the reality into Jongho. "What?"

"She killed him."

"No."

You spit some blood out of your mouth and cackled. "I did."

"No. She doesn't know what she's talking about."

"She's not looking to hide it, Jongho." Wooyoung lifted his hand to slap you but Jongho stopped him. 

"Touch her again and I'll have your balls," Jongho threatened.

You smiled widely, pleased that the bear had his collar around his neck and he didn't even know it. "I told you, Wooyoung."

Wooyoung gripped Jongho by his upper arms. "You are the Captain of the guard. You are the best of us. Mingi is dead. Dead on your watch! San never--"

Jongho punched Wooyoung. "Do not speak my brother's name."

"Hongjoong taught us all better, Jongho, what is wrong with you?" Wooyoung raged, spittle dropping from his mouth like an animal. "Did Yunho not sacrifice himself so that Mingi would remain alive? He took a blade meant for our prince." Wooyoung pushed Jongho away. "The wrong brother died that night."

"Wooyoung." Jongho didn't seem to understand how Wooyoung could even say those things.

Wooyoung pointed at you, throwing his entire arm. "She killed Mingi, Jongho. She was guarding the King and instead she slipped a dagger under his ribs. She reached both of her arms into his body so that she could carve his heart out of his chest. She didn't just kill him, she decided he couldn't even have the honour of dying with his heart in his chest!"

Jongho's eyes swung back to you. "How?"

"Why, love. Why is the correct question."

"Love!" Wooyoung threw his hands up in the air. "It's all a lie! She never loved you!"

Jongho focused back on Wooyoung once again. "You don't know that."

"She lured you into her embrace, Jongho, why can't you see that?" Wooyoung pushed his hands through his hair, tugging on the ends in frustration. His hands were coated with blood, so it only made his hair stick up more. 

"You say your goodbyes. I'll give you that." Wooyoung's face had grown cold. He strode away a few feet, turning his back on the two of you.

"Why?" Jongho asked like he was a broken man.

"I am not a hedge knight, Jongho. I have never wandered this godforsaken land. I had not stepped one foot into this kingdom until only a few months ago. I have been training my whole life to keep my sister safe. She was the one who was going to rule our kingdom and I was going to protect her. We were going to correct our father's wrongs. But guess who decided he was going to fall in love with her? The goddamn silver haired wolf who condemned my sister to a death she did not earn."

The dawning on Jongho's face would have been almost comical, if you were in the laughing mood. "Your sister was Mingi's love."

Tears were streaming down your blood-splattered cheeks as you recalled your sister. "She was kind. She was so gentle. My symbol, the robin, was her favorite bird. Father broke pieces off of her with each cruelty he committed against her and still she would smile. When Father found out that Mingi and my sister had fallen in love, she never smiled again. She spent months--" You gasped in air at the memory of the torture your own father had inflicted on your sister. "--when he finally got the entire story of how she and Mingi were going to bring the two warring kingdoms together; how they were going to marry and make children…"

Then it really struck Jongho who you truly were. "You're the Queen."

You giggled. "I told you I didn't want to be Queen. I never wanted it. It was her duty in life. But when I killed my father and became Queen, I swore I would have my revenge. How is it that your kingdom remains peaceful and content and cozy and happy when my whole life has burned down around my ears. How is it that Mingi gets to live when my sister is dead? Where is the fairness in that?"

"Time's up," Wooyoung interrupted. "If you don't kill her. I will." A fresh wail came from inside Mingi's chambers and that made Wooyoung wince. "Our life's work… everything we strived for. The power-hungry king dead, replaced by Mingi, who only wanted to make the world safe. San, Yunho, Yeosang and Hongjoong all dead so that we could do that. We are all that's left. We did it. Mingi became king and we kept him alive. All that and now it's all gone."

"I can't let you do this." Jongho's eyes searched your face.

"Do you think I care about anything after this? I don't even have the luxury of seeing my sister in the afterlife. I don't care. The scales are balanced. If I cannot have my sister, the true queen of my homeland, then you cannot have your good King Mingi. You cannot," You vowed.

Jongho turned around. He wasn't talking to you. He unsheathed his sword and walked towards Wooyoung. Wooyoung's eyes widened in surprise but only temporarily. "Jongho, surely you cannot be serious? She will be the last one to die tonight. Not anymore of us."

"I cannot let you kill her, Wooyoung." Jongho stood firm before you.

Wooyoung shook his head but his arms were at the ready by his sides. "No, Jongho. No! It'll hurt but she must die. She killed the remainder of the good in this world! She must answer for her crimes."

"She is mine. She is the other half of my heart. If you kill her, you are killing me. I cannot let you do that."

Jongho rushed in a moment, without a hint or a shout. He rammed into Wooyoung's chest, slamming him into the wall and causing the knight to slump against the wall. But Wooyoung had fought by Jongho for all of his life. He knew what Jongho would do. So Wooyoung had pulled the dagger from his thigh before Jongho could run at him. And so, Wooyoung had slammed the dagger into Jongho's back just as Jongho's shoulders had hit his chest. Jongho slid to his knees as Wooyoung gasped as if he had broken ribs.

You had prepared to die. You had even prepared for Jongho to be the one to kill you. But you had not prepared for Jongho to die in front of you to stop Wooyoung from killing you. You breathed in deeply and let out a violent shout. You jumped up, your knees hitting your chest and swung the manacles out to the front of your body. It took you two large steps until you were in front of Wooyoung and then with another pain-wracking yell, you swung your manacles against Wooyoung's forehead. He crumpled to the floor immediately but you didn't wait to see him hit the ground.

You were immediately on Jongho, pressing your hands to each side of his cheek, as much as your manacles would allow. "You are an idiot." You cried. The tears for your sister felt different then your tears for Jongho.

You didn't dare pull the knife in his back out. You knew he would bleed to death if you did. But the blood painting Jongho's lips were no joke either. He could have a punctured lung. "Why? I killed your king. I killed Mingi. Why did you attack Wooyoung?"

"I told you," Jongho coughed uncomfortably. "I would do anything for you."

"You betrayed everything you love!" You shouted.

"You are everything I love," Jongho insisted.

Somewhere between your pain for revenge and your determination to finish it, you had committed to your character too much. You became the knight who fell in love with her captain. You needed it to be believable. You needed Jongho to believe it with his entire heart and he did. So you had condemned your own heart to the same fate. 

"You are everything I love," You said back to him. You kissed him softly, sobs still wracking through your body.

"I know," Jongho smiled through his pain. 

Your sister's smile through the pain superimposed over Jongho's and you felt your heart break for the second time in your life. 

"Will you let me love you for all my days?" Jongho asked softly.

"Your love will be alive in my heart even after," You promised.

[amethysttheanarchist]

I've been working on a fic regarding the incident with Calvin getting his eye poked out. I NEED CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM.I just know it sucks cause I haven't written in a while.

"Go run along boys. I have work to do" Fischoeder Sr. said to his sons, Calvin and Felix Fischoeder. Felix was asking for help to make a fake crown, as he and his brother were preparing to play kingdoms and dragons.

Felix and Calvin turn and walk off, Felix is far more upset that his father is ignoring him once again. In hopes of making his brother feel better, Calvin offers an idea "What if we made fake crowns with paper and tape from Mother's office downstairs, I think it's still empty cause of the renovations".Felix's face lights up "OH and the paper rolls and pipes are still down there so we can use them to make swords. Felix grabs the elder brother's hand and drags them downstairs away from their father's office door, now shut to ward off the boys. " we have to hurry and make the crowns cause we still have to go outside and turn Jewels(dog) into a dragon"

-------------------------------------------------------

15 minutes have passed and two crowns and a sword have been produced. Felix was struggling with his while Calvin was drawing on his sword. "Calvin is this right?" Felix held up a poorly made sword. It looked right but flimsy, one gust of wind away from breaking " I mean we have to try it out first" Calvin put on his crown and picked up his sword as he got up. He pointed at Felix "I challenge you to a fight, baby knight". Felix's face got red and exasperated "Mother said stop calling me a baby, I'm a big boy!!!" Felix charged at Calvin, landing blows to his upper torso with the sword which surprisingly held up well. Calvin however, wasn't gonna take Felix's attacks lightly. Calvin started to attack back and in seconds, the boys were roughhousing with the swords. "Oh come on baby, there's a reason dad likes me more, you always act up like this'' Calvin backed up, prepared to lash a finishing blow to the out-of-breath Felix.``STOP IT CALVIN, THAT'S NOT FUNNY" Felix turned around and picked up the scissors off the floor, Calvin, not the least bit worried said "what do you plan on doing with those you baby"

In a flash, Felix rushed Calvin and the

scissors were plunged into his eye. Calvin hit the floor with a thud, curled up and covering his eye. "Get up, I didn't hit you that hard" After he didn't respond, Felix got worried and hunched over Calvin, "Calvin? Get up this isn't funny, get up"

In a low, grasping voice, Calvin whispered "Go…go get dad" Dark red blood had started to bleed through Calvin's white suit sleeves. Felix saw the blood and whispered "Wha-".Calvin painfully yelled out "GO GET DAD" Felix unsure of what was happening screamed and ran out to grab their father

Felix starts banging on his father's door while Calvin screams in pain from downstairs "DAD DAD DAD DAD, WE NEED HELP". In a swift motion, their father swings the door open "CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BUSY FELIX".Felix now with tears streaming down his face screams out "Somethings wrong with Calvin" Without hesitating, His father grabs Felix's arm and drags them down the stairs and hisses out "What did you do to your brother!?", to which Felix didn't answer. When they get to the door, fischoeder Sr swings the door open, To find Calvin withering on the floor, a pool of blood around his head. "CALVIN!" His father rushes over to the desk and starts dialing 911 "Hold still Calvin, help is going to be on the way"Felix is kneeled near Calvin when Their mother runs in"I heard screaming what's going ooooo-" Her voice trails off when she sees the blood surrounding Calvin. At a moment's notice, she knelt near Calvin as well, Holding both of her children's hands "Boys, I'm gonna need you to calm down and tell me what happened, Both boys stay silent, Calvin only leaving his pained and quickened breath in the air. Their mother, understanding that the boys are both panicked and not right for talking at the moment, starts wiping up the growing amount of blood off Calvin's face

5 minutes pass and Fischoeder Sr is carrying his son into the ambulance. Felix has Been nothing but silent aside from his breathy and panicked tears. Calvin has been painfully sobbing every so often letting out a cry of pain. When the ambulance drives off, Fischoeder Sr piles everyone into his golf cart and follows the speeding ambulance.

-------------------------------------------------------

Calvin is in surgery when they arrive at the hospital. The family is sat in the waiting room alone. They were only told that it's likely that Calvin will lose his eyesight in the poked-out eye. His father is hunched over, drinking from his flask while his mother is gently patting Felix's head while he laid his head on her lap. A couple minutes pass of this and his father mutters out "So, what did you do to Calvin", before Felix can answer, the surgeon comes out to address the family "Are you the family for the Fischoeder boy?" The entire family stood up with Felix hiding behind his mother "Yes, is he ok" their mother said, clutching the hand of the shaking Felix behind her "So the good news is that he is mostly awake and well but the bad news is that to fix the wound we had to remove his eye, effectively blinding him in his right eye". A collective but silent gasp filled the room. In the span of 2

hours, the boys had gone From running around and playing to one now blind in eye. Felix whispered out,quivering behind his mother "can we see him" "I would give him an hour before visiting,so he can recover from surgery and all the anesthesia" The whole family sat back down,tired from the day's activities. One hour,one hour and they would see the mess that felix had made.

[joculine]

DIE Issue #1 Reread (Gillen & Hans)

What an excellent series that keeps on giving. For those not in the know, DIE is a really incredible fantasy horror comic about a group of teenagers who were sucked into a tabletop roleplaying game and spent two years in the bodies of their characters. They got out eventually, but lost one member of their party—25 years later, they are sucked back in. It's fucking great.

Art

First things first, the extreme shadows and harsh lighting from above in the 1991 sequence add so much atmosphere. The whole thing feels like a dream, or perhaps a stage play. Stephanie Hans always does fantastic things with light in her work, but this is something else. Here, it gives the effect of the world melting away, the focus turns to the players and the game, nothing else. Great introduction.

(Scans don't quite do this scene justice. I've done a bit of Photoshop to try to darken the colors to match my trade, but there is a subtle flow between the colors that is missing from a digital image.)

The colors in the section outside the bar are jaw dropping. Blacks, reds, and blue make such a dynamic scene.

I really like how much it reflects the Neo's costume. What do we take from that? This is, after all, the future for these characters. Rainy, flooding lights and glass, new technology. No more swords, dragons, or taverns, just cars, smartphones, and cities. I think the Neo's role as the "future" will remain relevant as we get deeper.

Ash's Name

Ash (I'm going to be calling the lead character Ash, she/her) notes that the only person outside her family to use her first name is Sol's mother—a fact that seems pretty true in 1991 but no longer in 2018. As we see, her wife, sister, and several other members of the party call her Dominic in this time period, at least before the game starts. Chuck doesn't, though she asks him too. Izzy starts to, then switches to Dominic. She also apologizes for not being "woke" in the 90s, which is very funny to me.

Something interesting—Izzy is also the first one to switch back to Ash after using Dominic. When she is mad, upset that Ash is starting to form another plan, she calls her Dominic. When she seems to show pity towards her over Sol, she calls her Ash. Very interesting. If memory serves, we will see Izzy act in a similar way through the comic, mostly accepting Ash's status as a trans woman, but occasionally alienating her, intentionally or not. At least, I think this comes up a few times, I could be misremembering.

I'll be watching Izzy a lot this reread. I like her and I want to see if I can get more out of her story.

Of course, we don't yet know that Ash is trans, nor do we get explicit textual confirmation that she's a trans woman. But I mean, look at her.

One more thing about her name—the double meaning here is intense:

We find later that the word "party" in use to a group of people is one of the things stopped by Ash's geas. Given that Chuck and Izzy both call her Ash, that name is not prohibited by the spell, but it sure seems like Ash has done a lot to distance herself from it even without magic.

This interaction with a bartender is really the perfect spark to reintroduce the game. The gift he has is not for Dominic or his friends—it's for Ash's party, the people who made their way through the world of Die 25 years ago. That act of naming (unknowing by the bartender's part!) sets them down that path again.

ONCE MORE...

There's a question I do have here—did they have a choice? Obviously, Ash could have tried getting rid of the die. She didn't have to get the band back together either. Did she need to grasp it?

Yes and no, it seems. She's the only one reaching for it, everyone else is thrown back at the force. On the one hand, it we can read this as a heroic attempt to hold back the object of danger. On the other, we can see it as more desperate, a fight against the flow to take back former glory. You can pretty easily read Gollum jumping into Mount Doom here—LOTR will be invited as a metaphor a lot more soon.

This also speaks to the trans experience quite a bit. The feeling of pain, the feeling of impending death, the choice that is not really a choice at all. Her life is hollow, surrounded by depressing reminders, an occupation that doesn't appear fulfilling, a lack of friends, and an inability to move forward.

Transitioning saves lives—it's going to save Ash's. It's a shame she has to go through a whole dark fantasy adventure to get there, but everyone's path is different.

We'll see if anyone else in the party has such a strong longing for the game. Angela probably has things the worst out of the party, but currently Ash's problems are the only ones that don't get immediately worse (better in fact!) by entering the game again.

Final arc spoilers here, but Chloe also pointed out the double meaning of "THE GRANDMASTER THREATENS THE REALM"—Of course, you can read this as Sol causing chaos on Die, but as we learn, the original Grandmaster is just a cover for Die itself. The realm stated here isn't the game, it's Earth.

(Also, note the glitch effects around the d20... there's that Neo future motif again.)

It's All For You

I had honestly forgotten that Ash and Sol shared a birthday. It makes a lot of things click into place. Sol tells Ash that the game was made for her. He says it was made for the party. He does not (or at least not often) say it was made for himself.

I don't think this is entirely true. Did Sol want to create something where Ash could find herself? Where the party could achieve their dreams? Perhaps. But I think the game is as much a gift for Sol as it is for Ash. He certainly seems to be excited to play it.

There's still a lot more that could be dug into this issue, especially surrounding Matt and Angela, but I'll save it for now.

All in all, it's a really fantastic opener for the story. It hooked me on a first read (Almost six years ago now! Wow!) and it still holds up, especially on a reread.

[silver-tangent]

“Staff at La Vernia ISD are legally armed and trained. We will use whatever force necessary to protect our students.”

In 2019 Four former La Vernia students (Alejandro Ibarra, Colton Weidner, Christian Roberts and Dustin Norman) were indicted by a grand jury in Wilson County on charges of engaging in organized criminal activity after previously being arrested in 2017.

This sparked an outcry of allegations dating back to 2014. It was stated that at least one coach knew.

The boys named never faced jail time. They got community service and probation. That’s it.

While the allegations were only dated back to 2014, I was also the victim of sexual harassment and “hazing” in this school between 2005 and 2011, when I was promptly pulled out.

I was touched, humped, and groped because boys thought I was gay and thought it was funny to harass me. One girl had her shirt pulled down against her will to “prove I was gay.”

My bullies learned I liked swords tried to encourage me to bring a sword to school and try to kill them.

They tried to instigate fights, tried to get me to punch my own ticket, and threatened to come to my house and harm me. They threatened to do sexual acts to me to “make me into a girl,” and to “beat me until I was straight.”

I was told that God made me for their entertainment…

In all this time, the staff of La Vernia were only ever worried about me shooting up the school. They called my parents in because they were scared by my outbursts… my outbursts because they did nothing. Because they never believed any of my proof was good enough, because they chose to ignore my bullying.

When my mother tried to force them to do something, they would tell her that it was “just boys being boys.”

“They’re just hazing him.”

“He’s bringing it on himself by acting out.”

At least one the vice principal (now gone) said that I SHOULD beat up my abusers my selves, and it would solve the issue… before promptly admitting he would send me to alternative school afterwards.

I was the problem to them. Their solution was that I needed to suck it up, act normal, and stop bothering people.

I was socially awkward. I’m possibly autistic. I have adhd, and I had no friends. I don’t endorse gun violence… but I was never the problem. Nothing I did could possibly justify being SA’d.

Since 2020… I have heard nothing. NOTHING about the civil lawsuits… they swept all of this under the rug.

And I can tell you first hand, their idea of a threat is me… the rape victim. They were afraid that I would take matters into my own hands.

Many of the adults in this town have openly admitted to wanting trouble. They WANT someone to pull a gun so they can put a bullet in someone.

They’ve openly fantasized about beating up trans women in bathrooms…

“We will use whatever force necessary to protect our students?”

They will use whatever force necessary to protect their small towns reputation.

They expect a school shooter to be someone like me, someone like the victims in those locker rooms…

And they would not hesitate to shoot them… but they will hesitate to protect SA victims.

These aren’t good guys with guns. These are violent right wing SA apologists looking for an excuse to shoot the weird kid, because that’s who they think active shooters are…

[crystalelemental]

Pokemon Team Characterization - Janine

Ninja Dad is done, but now it is time for Ninja Daughter.  Janine’s cool, I like Janine.  Her whole thing is being new and relatively uncertain and is trying her best, which is exactly what Flannery does, but I’m cutting off this rant before I piss off the Flannery fans.

Janine’s intro team is really funny, because it sucks.  Confuse Ray and Supersonic on the same Pokemon?  Two Ariados with the same offensive overlap?  Her team is riddled with small oddities that suggest someone new who doesn’t quite know what she’s doing.  The only thing she has on lock is her Weezing.  She definitely learned her dad’s trade.

But that’s not what we’re interested in.

Janine’s Gen 4 rematch is where she establishes an identity.  It’s where she starts to really craft a careful team, but where she also starts to seriously break away from her dad’s style as a ninja and develops her own.

The Lead (Crobat) Crobat as a lead suggests a cautious approach on two levels.  The first is the clear “Avoid Ground.”  Poison has few weaknesses, and full immunity to one of them is a strong opener.  The other is U-Turn.  This is a similar “know when to fold em” mentality as her father, but she’s less...absolute.  More of a “put it down and come back later” compared to Explosion signifying abandonment of the plan.  I’d also note Confuse Ray, which has a lot less confidence than her father’s Swagger.  In the opening plays, she’s still uncertain and playing a bit closer to the vest.  She’s someone who takes an immediately cautious approach, and isn’t afraid to back down in a moment to regroup.

The Ace (Venomoth) Highest level.  Her ace is where we start to see a serious departure from her father’s tactics.  Sleep Powder.  Koga spams Toxic.  That’s his whole thing.  But Janine aims instead for Sleep, into Double Team for evasion.  It’s a more measured approach.  But this is then backed by Tinted Lens, which powers up her not very effective moves.  Psychic over a poison-type STAB is also interesting, and there’s more to it but that’ll come later.

The main thing to take away is that Janine likes consistency.  Koga’s willing to play fast and loose with evasion, then completely drop the plan if it starts going off the rails.  Janine doesn’t.  Janine likes to sustain, and likes to make sure what she’s doing will work.  Again, cautious and uncertain of success.

Tried and True (Weezing) Weezing keeps to Koga’s tactics.  Toxic, explode when needed.  What’s interesting is it doesn’t know Smokescreen.  Janine won’t play evasion games without some level of certainty, like Venomoth’s Sleep Powder.  She opts instead for Thunderbolt.  Odd coverage, but something she finds more consistent than the evasion.

Mind Games (Toxicroak, Ariados, Drapion) All three of her remaining Pokemon apply disruption in the form of confuse or attraction.  All three also have fall-back plans.  Toxicroak packs Substitute, Ariados has Bounce, and Drapion is just excellent defensive typing.  Ariados’ Night Shade is against a good indicator of her appreciation for consistency, given its flat damage, while Drapion’s Swords Dance indicates much the same, needing to ensure her damage is enough before swinging.  But Swords Dance is also taking calculated risk.  She only buffs on a defensive Pokemon, or something with good disruption in sleep.  In every other instance, she doesn’t try, and plays more cautiously.

Of particular note is how this differs from her father.  Koga’s approach is wholly Toxic.  It is his calling card, and the technique he applies in most situations.  Given its effects on the body, Koga is someone who operates on the physical level.  He’s surgical in his approach, and breaks the person down on that physical level.  By contrast, Janine’s psychological.  Confusion and attraction have little direct impact on breaking down the opponent, but they do have an effect that disrupts their ability to fight.  Koga aims to overwhelm.  Janine aims to disrupt.  Janine’s approach is overall cautious, but insidious.  She’s less likely to reveal up front what she’s doing, playing a bit more toward subtlety before a finishing strike.

I also like that it’s Ariados who has Swagger.  She’s not confident in the opener, but once she’s in the swing of things she starts to feel more confident.  I interpret this as an initial shyness, or lack of confidence.  She’ll go into something expecting little, but once she’s started eases into the process of something new.

Summation Janine is the psychological counterpart to her father’s physical approach.  While her father applies a direct Toxic and is very up front about his intent, Janine is more covert, able to get inside another person’s head.  She’s likely to more intuitively understand someone than her father, but is less likely to immediately jump into something.  She can, and she will, but she likes having a plan.  She’s also got a bit more stamina for things.  While her father drops a failed plan immediately in a “know when to fold ‘em” approach, Janine saves plans for later and never truly abandons a possible avenue.  Koga reacts, Janine plans.  She’ll start out uncertain and reserved, but opens up once she’s in the swing of a new situation.

If you have an alternate read on the teams, I’d love to hear it.  I do like Janine after all.  I admit, I know she’s Kantonian, but because she only shows in Gen 2 she’s like an honorary Johto character so I can appreciate her more.  And I think she nails the less confident newbie leader better than-[for legal reasons, the remainder of this rant has been removed]

[nellie-elizabeth]

The Legend of Vox Machina: The Sunken Tomb (2x03)

Liam O'Brien, how dare you...

Cons:

This isn't really a con, so much as a point of confusion... where did Kash and Zahra go at the end of the episode? They seemed to find Purvan's tomb and wander down it, but then Percy also found the tomb? So they're in the wrong place? It just felt strange that they ended up somewhere else with no resolution or cliffhanger for those characters. I guess we'll find out in episode four?

Pros:

Such a good blend of tone in this episode. So many funny moments, and then mixed with such abject tragedy... the basic structure of the plot is just that the gang goes on a journey to find the Deathwalker's Ward, which is the first Vestige of Divergence they've been told about. Along the way they banter, they fight weird fish people monsters, they have a not-so-friendly rivalry going with Zahra and Kash...

There are lot of moments I could shout out here, but a few of my favorite comedy beats include when Kash tells them about Purvan, they all start laughing and making stupid jokes, and then Kash just says "wow, you guys suck." In that same scene, I loved Grog celebrating his new beard, and when Kash is dismissive of it, Grog gets furious and in his face. Kash... immediately backs down and says it's really cool.

Zahra and Vex... perfection. This vibe between them started up in episode two, but this episode we really got to see it in action. They're totally playing it like they're bitter exes who still find each other sexy and I am living for it. Such good energy, and a natural extrapolation from the vibe they had on the original stream. I  loved when they were fighting over who got to be the hero and save the other one. And Vex's exasperation when she realized Zahra had run off was so funny.

The whole fight sequence was good fun, everyone teaming up and being bad-ass. Kash falling off of Scanlan's hand made me laugh too. The only hint of real worry in these scenes is Grog, whose bloodlust seems to be a little more intense than it should be, as he's using that hungry, hungry talking sword... Pike seems to pick up that something isn't quite right, but she can't figure out what's up just yet. Also, as I said, we finally got our bearded Grog! I've been waiting for that guy to turn up.

A couple other details: Pike has a vision to check in on Emon, and sees Thordak ruling the roost, demanding tribute and burning humans alive when they run out of shiny things to give him. So that's not great. Also, in Trinket news, he actually got to be useful in a fight for once, which was exciting to see!

And then there's the stuff with the twins. I mean. Where to even begin with all of this. It was so good. Pitch perfect. Liam and Laura fucking knocked it out of the park. The episode has flashbacks showing them younger, during an incident in which their father yelled at Vex for breaking a tiara, calling them worthless because of their status as half human. Vax decides they should storm off, and they do, but it's clear Vex didn't really want to leave. She gets mad at him for always trying to protect her and tell her what to do, and then we cut to later, where Vax is sobbing because his sister has left him. Vax says that it's not that Vex needs him, it's that he needs her.

Just. If you know where this is going it's just... just... the perfect distillation of the whole thing with the twins. They were so cute and squishy as little baby half-elves, and their dad sucks so hard.

The episode also cleverly builds up the fact that the Matron of Ravens' temple is full of traps. We see Grog discover one, we see Vax checking ahead to be sure, we see Trinket sniffing out a hidden latch in the floor that raises up a tomb... it's all very treacherous. Obviously I knew this was coming, so every time Vax insisted that everyone wait and be cautious, I was getting more and more tense. It happens so suddenly, so unceremoniously. Percy reaches in to take the Deathwalker's Ward, and it sets off a trap. Vex is caught in it. She falls to the ground. Dead.

Again, just... LIAM. With the full on SOBBING. I cannot deal. It's so raw and real and I'm beyond excited for the consequences of this one moment to follow us through to the very end of the show. It's gonna hurt so good.

So yeah. This episode was fantastic. I'm eagerly awaiting more, and can't believe I have to wait a full week to see it resolved. Even knowing how it all turns out isn't enough to calm me down. This was excellent TV; I continue to be so happy and so blown away by what these folks have managed to pull off with this adaptation. Can't wait for more!

9.5/10

[calpalsworld]

idk if you saw zeurel's twitter but one of the second set of wip Monkey wrench pins has dr. Agness and i though ya might like.

also curious what attracted you to her?

ARE YOU KIDDING-- WHAT-- I--

OHHHHHHH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD I was literally joking when the pins came out that I was MAD that they didn't have a Dr. Agness one. but i didnt expect them to possibly make one..... I.... I... I NEED THIS??? I NEED HER?????? If it comes out and I don't notice that its out PLEASE someone notifiy me so i can buy it ASAP.

What attracted me to her?

Ummmmm

I think her voice actress did a SPECTACULAR job and her dialogue is super funny and cute. Shes a very simple character but she was a silly and effective villain. i love her granny nature. But shes straight up evil as fuck which made me scared of her at first but I have come to actually dig it. Love when women can be terrible power hungry murderers. #feminism. And her design? Its so freaking awesome and unique. I love how she is an angler fish but also she looks like the plants on the Lythop's planet. So you'd think maybe she is from the planet herself or something? Which seems innocent. Idk thats what I thought. Also shes a sun obviously of course. So epic. But also they make her SUPER obviously evil from the start which is funny as fuck. I love how she slips up and is so bad at pretending to be good even though shes probably been doing this scheme a WHILE. She is not even trying very hard to pretend i guess LOL, or shes just impatient. Sooooooooooo cute!!!! Also her battle theme GOES SO HARD? Also she feels like she could have deep lore but she doesn't so thats really fun to think about. Also every little expression she does is amazing since monkey wrench is such a well animated show. Also she has a big sword????? And a cool hoverchair??? and a cool mech fighting form???? and it looks like a fish??? and is cool?! and she is a fish!!!!

What **attracted** me to her?

Well don't tell Zeurel because he said he doesn't want people lusting over his characters where he can see it but..... if you know me, you'll know that my type is absolutely nerdy GNC/butch fat big-boobed older women ....sooooooooo........ And plus, shes an ALIEN!?!?!?!??! plus SHES EVIL???? plus shes BADASS?!?!?! also. her voice. Also can we talk about how when she reveals herself as evil she rips her sleeves off? its such a good look and ummmm...... Hi granny.... like... * twirls my hair and tries not to sweat too hard or look like a pathetic animal that is dying * can i feel your big strong funny fish arms? please. please.

Also I don't see this type of character (fat gnc women) often in media so imo I'm just happy to have one for once even if shes so evil and so sucks. thank you monkey ranch

note: i know she isnt actually fat with big boobs because she is actually just a head with little fins and a lure and arms.... but shut up idc shes so fucking hot no matter what. shes hot as a little evil fish too. shes hot in her fighting machine too okay? shes. always. hot. me x agness forever. i want her to hold me. because shes awesome. shes always awesome. im a dr agness stan for life she could kill everyone in the galaxy. i wouldn't care. she didn't do anything wrong. ever.

tldr; funny. cool design. hot alien granny.

[jeeperso]

D&D Quotes Without Context

Revenge of CHAOTICA!, Episode 4

"FUCKING OWLS.” "Okay," Katt says, "so we need to break this, but in a way it doesn't make things worse, right?” Thunderchild: “Explosives are probably out of the question, then.” "Well we gotta do something, it’s a big evil thing. A big evil OWL thing.” “Yeah, I'd rather not wade through the toxic muck that is killing the planet.” "It does mean not wading through poo gas & doody water…" GM OOC: Oh, you wish it was doody water. "Oh no, don't bring out the sockpuppet, Fiver.” "Quick!Someone-dress-me-like-an-owl!" “Wait,” the curious one says, “Why are you with two cats?” Katt: "We're traitors.” Fiver (disguised): “Prisoners.” Robbins: "Traitor prisoners.” Katt: "Bad traitors.” Fiver: "Big one’s a prisoner. Little one is dinner for the boss.” Fiver shrugs to the others, "He's like the son I never had. Or the son I don't have to pay alimony for.” OOC: Can't Robbin cast guidance on himself? OOC2: Yes, but first he must remember to do so. Then, you hear the Leonin let out a roar of feral rage before he bounds out, grabs the Owlin at the desk, and beats the other one with the first. OOC: Hit him with your sword of intelligence! Haikeeba! "Good job. When we get back to the gay bar, I'm buying dinner. Any flavor of fish you want.” Fiver walks over to the console "Please be user friendly.” Amber can just hear the console now. "Quiet, fleshbag. I do what I want, not as I'm programmed." Sure it is her imagination, but it would be funny if it happened. “They will betray you and then I will be forced to tear their arms off.” Thunderchild: “Yeah having your arm torn off hurts like a motherfucker.” "Amber come here and figure out how to work this thing. I'm not pushing any buttons what I don't know what they do. That's how Asmodeus steals souls.” …you all stun him, then the Leonin grabs his outstretched arm, tears it off and beats him to death with it. Covered in Owlin blood he glares at you. “I warned you.” Thunderchild: “Fair enough. I mean I figured he'd maybe be smart enough to wait until we were out of the room to try and fuck us.” Thunderchild: “What did you find? And do we need to blow it up?” “Make up your minds. Flapjack, Prince of the western plains will do this with or without you.” "Oh we're doing this, they want to live afterwards, and so do I.” Thunderchild: “Suck it up buttercup.” He glares at you and tosses you the arm. “Here. You could use the spare.” Thunderchild catches it and then uses it as a back scratcher. "Very handy.” "I need no weapon," Katt says. Moonpaw: "I can't use no weapon.” Flapjack growls, “We will need to fight our way up to the highest level, Free The Eye of Lumbera, and kill all who stand against us.” "That-is-alot-of-killing. We-will-be-able-to-fill-alot-of-pillows.” "At the very least we should prolong any chance of demise.” Robbins: "They-are-owlin. They-can-fly.” Fiver: "Yeah but they can't walk through walls. I hope. Also I am excited about the fire plan.” Thunderchild: “Granted this is a ‘maybe fire’ plan. It's not a ‘definitely fire’ plan until we have an exit strategy.” "Gentlemen, we have an emergency situation....HOLY SHIT WHAT'S THAT BEHIND YOU?” Robbins is there behind them, with his make-shift feather beard. "Hoot to the head.” "We're sending a message to anyone who comes looking.” "That message being 'bring a squeege’.” Amber: "Out here I doubt they know what a goonion is, Thunderchild.” Thunderchild: “...We should introduce the concept. nothing cripples an evil empire faster than unionized minions.” "ITS A MASSACRE DOWN THERE! EVERYONE IS DEAD MAN! THAT BIG CAT GOT OUT AND HE'S CHOPPING EVERYONE INTO CHUNKY SALSA! WE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE MAN. GAME OVER MAN!” "Remind me: weren't we supposed to be the ones who didn't want to simply kill our way through?” Robbins can move twice-three-times-as-fast as you. There is time for him to scout, have a cigarette, then get sick because he doesn’t smoke. Fiver: “Yes you're adorable, stop milking it.” Thunderchild: “Don't listen to him, milk it for all its worth.” GM OOC: I’ve decided all Leonin have cute stupid pet cat names. "Breaker-breaker. This-is-buzzy-body-bee-contacting-hare-raiser. Do-you-read-me-hare-raiser?” OOC: I think she should stay Jolene. Because song lyrics. GM OOC: And she might for that reason. OOC2: The twist is Jolene is Ace and just really friendly. OOC3: If the Haregon is her girlfriend I doubt she's going to steal anyone's man. GM OOC: They’re open to the right third. Even odds they’re both dating general Frost by the end, knowing me. OOC: I mean my brain came up with "Bro-lene" and won't let me forget. OOC2: ”Bro-lene.. Bro-lene. Bro-lene bro-lene! Please be a bro and don’t take my man.”

[casliveblog]

Custom Toonami Block Week 121 Rundown

Inuyasha: Inuyasha vs Bankotsu really ramps up and honestly the animation really kinda pops off this episode, like Inuyasha isn’t exactly known for stellar animation like something like One Piece or Yu Yu Hakusho but this episode randomly has some really good shit in here. Anyway this is probably one of Inuyasha’s best fights as he’s using hand to hand to kepe Bankotsu at bay until he can get close enough to rip out the jewel shards one by one and it’s a pretty neat tactic where he goes right for Bankotsu’s throat when he think’s he’s going for the one in his arm. Eventually they both get their swords back and instead of attacking Inuyasha, Bankotsu goes after the demons that Naraku posted around the battlefield to sick on the winner and it’s just enough for him to kill enough demons to evolve his sword. Apparently it’s a combination of things like wishing on the jewel shards in Banryu and sort of a nen-like contract he made with the halberd itself that gives it a ridiculous demonic aura. However in a move everyone saw coming like an hour ago, Inuyasha can use the backlash wave to reflect that and ultimately kill Bankotsu… sort of, like Inuyasha really shys away from killing the human antagonists and ends up just crushing them under cave rocks until someone else comes and kills them. I was always kinda upset about this ending as a kid because while it looks fucking badass I always wondered if Bankotsu wouldn’t have put himself in Backlash Wave range if he would’ve won, I feel better about it now since none of this happened in the manga and he would’ve lost either way so it’s an odd example of there being two versions of things that make each other better. It’s kinda funny Inuyasha gives Bankotsu a lot of outs for this fight and I kinda wonder what would’ve happened had Bankotsu take either the chance to escape or teamed up with Inuyasha to fight Naraku first once it was apparent Naraku was gonna kill him, like Bankotsu would’ve made a fun reoccurring character for a while and would’ve made this arc feel like it wasn’t just Naraku literally killing time until his Final Form. Anyway everyone with jewel shards ends up getting sucked up into the flesh cave and Miroku and Sano are staring at little flesh babies and meet up with Kagome as she sees Inuyasha being pulled towards Naraku’s boss chamber. You’d think he could just crush all his enemies since he literally has them locked in the grip of his flesh cave like just put enough pressure on them to collapse their ribcages but I guess the flesh cave move is transport only.  

Yu Yu Hakusho: We continue with the “Stand Users have invaded Yusuke’s hometown” arc and we get a funny little bit for the first half of the episode of Botan and Kuwabara running around trying to collect Kurama and Hiei and freaking the fuck out of Kurama’s schoolmates and trying to find a spirit gadget to get over Hiei’s incessant need to be an emo loner. It is nice to see the spirit items again and it’s kinda funny how they lampshade how unnecessary they are now but they do manage to get Hiei to come out of hiding. They come up to the Stand Users’ house where Yusuke’s being held captive and find a warning posted that no one is allowed to say the word ‘hot’ inside the house which I can only assume is a defense specifically against Paris Hilton. They find Kaito who explains his Stand’s abilities to be basically nerd power incarnate, fighting doesn’t work because Kaito’s a fucking nerd and doesn’t wanna be bullied in his own Stand so instead it’s a game of words. Hiei’s like “fuck that, ain’t gonna tell me what to do hothothothothot’ and gets sucked into the Shadow Realm because… Hiei’s kind of an asshole like that. Kuwabara tries to get the key from Stand User #2 but doesn’t get the whole ‘no violence’ deal and breaks his hand trying to punch the guy. Like honestly he was holding the key out he prolly coulda gotten it with a quick swipe if he didn’t try to lash out at him. So now it’s down to Kurama and Kaito to figure out how to have an epic rap battle of history to send each other to the Shadow Realm or some shit idk.

Fate/Apocrypha: So turns out I was wrong last time, like I kinda figured since this is Fate we’re talking about that Avicebron was gonna sacrifice his kid and the glowy worm blanket thing was a red herring but yeah, now he has his God Golem and before anyone can even come to grips with what the battle lines are and who’s on whose side Avicebron and his orphan-powered murder golem bust through the wall like the Kool-Aid man making plants grow wherever he steps. Chiron fucking just snipes him right away knowing it won’t do any good but wanting to kill him out of spite. The rest of the episode is just everyone running around trying to take this thing out. And me just hearing the Attack on Titan theme in the background. They pull Mordred into it and she’s like ‘yeah I’ll do it, FOR MONEY’ and Jeanne agrees to give her a Command Seal and I hope she gives Sieg one too since he has to use one to turn into Siegfried and help Mordred destroy it with a Double Getsuga Tensho thing which is pretty cool. Seems like Mordred’s kinda coming around on Sieg as main character which is fine I guess, it’s our big mid-season Getsuga Tensho fest Fate likes to have and another Servant down plus everyone seems to be like ‘okay well everyone that’s not Shirou let’s join forces to beat up on Shirou because yeah that dude sucks’ so Team Yggy Babyeater and Team IDK Morderd and Lion Guy I guess have joined forces for now.

Speed Grapher: This episode’s kind of a fucking ride, we start off with a Euphoric Priest basically becoming Palpatine and blowing up his church. Saiga takes Ginza to the hospital after the spider tattoo man attacked them and jacks spider dude’s coat and invitation to Suitengu’s wedding to Kagura. He goes to his gay friend Bob for help and they kinda have a discussion that Saiga may indeed have feelings for Kagura and Bob gives the kind of hilarious response of ‘bro I’m an early 2000s hedonistic gay stereotype, I’ve fucked a goat but having a thing with a fifteen year old is kinda fucked up’ which is kind of amazing, like this show doesn’t get away from trappings of the time but there’s enough effort of trying to humanize these characters you can tell their heart is in the right place. Saiga tells him he doesn’t particularly care if they end up in a fucked up relationship or anything like that but for the moment he wants to ensure she lives to grow up since she has a terminal tumor he would love for her to live to outgrow him. The day of the wedding comes and something I noticed is Kagura’s art style changes a bit while she’s under Suitengu’s spell, she’s drawn more angular and depressed and it makes her look older which is kind of ironic because Suitengu probably would be having her under a lot of makeup to try and hide the fact he’s marrying a fifteen year old girl. Turns out Priest Palpatine is officiationg the ceremony and it’s exactly as Extra you’d think the richest wedding in the world would be. Meanwhile the Prime Minister and the political goons are like ‘we’ll send out secretaries to the wedding to be friendly but won’t show up ourselves in case Suitengu marrying a literal child to take over the economy gets messy somehow’ which is probably a smart move, but they also talk about making the Roppongi Club a state-owned operation (giving themselves free membership of course) which is probably the only way to make an Eyes Wide Shut rich person superpower cult worse, like idk how well they’d be able to cover that up, they talk about funneling money from public trusts but like state records are generally a lot more looked after than Corporations but still. Anyway Saiga is pretty badass and doesn’t even wait until the ‘I object’ part of the wedding and rips off his spider guy disguise before Kagura can even say I do, saying she doesn’t have to say anything she doesn’t want to. Turns out he has cameras strapped all over his body like a bomber and Suitengu’s about to use his Blood Sephiroth powers to slice him up but Saiga blows the door open and it turns out Suitengu’s weakness is cameras. Not Saiga’s explosive cameras, but paparazzi camera threatening to expose him as a superpowered freak and show the world about Euphorics. Suitengu’s hands are tied until the audience rushes out, blocking the cameras so they can have a little skirmish that ends with Saiga getting away with Kagura. Unfortunately Suitengu’s secretary has already filed the marriage license and Suitengu’s not admitting she got away, telling the press he’s keeping her safe from the mad bomber that attacked their wedding so legally Suitengu and Kagura are still married which is all he needs for his plan. Meanwhile Priest Palpatine catches up to them on the roof of the church and Saiga wakes Kagura up while the priest shorts out all Saiga’s cameras except he has at least one that’s all old fashioned and uses the chance to blow him up. Bob shows up with a helicopter to get them away but turns out Lightning Priest isn’t dead and he uses lightning to make Kagura and Saiga fall off the copter and into the water in front of the billboard where they first met, hoping to be a little closer to freedom now than they were before. Also unrelated but the next episode is called “Hell is a wet woman” and that is a hell of a title.

Durararax2: So this is kind of the big ‘everything out in the open’ episode for the series, Izaya’s on the run after Shizuo punted him through a building but their fight is still on. Anri tells Kadota’s group about how Saika works and how Takashi’s basically her final boss and she has to cut him to neutralize the Saika zombies wondering around and she gets her big moment of everyone being cool with her being a sword-wielding anime schoolgirl. Kadota’s even like ‘bro we’re best friends with a dullahan you’re not even the weirdest thing I’ve seen this week’ which yeah I get why Anri’s kind of angsty about her situation but this is like the third round of people going ‘you’re not a freak bro we like you regardless of any theoretical ability to grows swords out of your arm’ but this is the first time she’s really come out with it tits on the glass style so I guess it makes sense. Meanwhile Erika’s pulling a Shaun of the Dead and just kinda faking it to blend in with the Saika zombies. Before Haruna can catch her though Anri calls her and Takashi talks with Anri about having a confrontation. Meanwhile meanwhile Aoba’s goons jump Chikage but dude’s made of fucking iron so that won’t go over well for the shark hoodie gang. Shinra’s going after Celty and is kinda very blunt about not caring if he ruins Celty’s life he wants to be selfish and keep her for himself which I mean… props for honesty I guess. Anri calls Mikado and turns out he’s already on the roof with Masaomi and has just been waiting to step out of the shadows dramatically. The Orihara twins talk about closing down the chatbox so it’s legit for good the end definitely this time and Mikado tells Masaomi he wants him to see the last meeting of the Dollars.